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Chapter Text

There were many things in Inuyasha’s life that he needed to adjust to.

In a relatively short span of time, he already went to hell and back – so to speak.

For one, having been sealed to a tree for 50 years was already more than odd, but upon awakening after such a long time being suspended in a petrified state – which to him felt only like a short moment –  his real troubles began.

But he didn’t want to rake his mind over that whole ordeal again.

What good would it even do?

Nevertheless, he was still in the midst of a conundrum even now that all fences had been mended.

As his life was now, he was a respected and relied upon member in the same village whose residents had once sought out to kill him.  

But he didn’t let that get to his head, Inuyasha was under no illusions.

He still saw the way the residents warily eyed him or tensed when he walked past them. Even though he had been the one to save their sorry selves, not too long ago.

But beggars couldn’t be choosers. So, he didn’t make a big deal out of it.

Once again: What good would that even do?

There were also other things that happened. Things that left him lonely and with a broken heart not once, but twice.

The bone-eater’s well knew his lament well enough. He spent hours upon hours staring into the now empty well.

But those wounds were still too fresh, and he wasn’t sure if they’d ever heal, so he decided to push those unwanted feelings away.

If only his heart wasn’t so human, then he wouldn’t have to endure such agony.

Again – no point in thinking about that.

One thing that he could think about without too much self-pity was the way the village had changed in his 50 year absence.

There was hardly anyone left from the time he was here last, except for that old crow Kaede of course.

People came and went. Some died, some left of their own volition and others came.

Among the rather interesting new arrivals was the girl named Rin.

Odd little thing that one.

Inuyasha couldn’t say she looked unhappy, even though he heard of her initial protests and apprehensions about staying with them.

She got along with everyone well enough. But she was a child, so there was no reason why she wouldn’t get along well with the others.

Even so, she always seemed rather… out of place.

He couldn’t exactly say why, nor had he actually taken enough time to study the girl – he was not the studying type anyway – but it seemed as though she was somewhat unaccustomed to living within a large group of people that all had their own responsibilities.

But who could blame her?

She was still a kid, after all.

From what Inuyasha could tell, Rin talked incessantly. She was cheerful and optimistic, very easy to impress and very eager to explore.

He could hardly believe that his half-brother – ugh, gross – of all people was the one who took her in, before he dumped her in this place.

However nice and sweet she was, she couldn’t have been more of a nuisance for someone like Sesshomaru.

And by “someone like Sesshomaru”, Inuyasha meant a pompous, self-righteous, arrogant, heartless and cruel basta–

Let’s leave it at that.

In any case, Inuyasha couldn’t deny that he was curious about her, even if only mildly and maybe just to distract himself from his own torment.

One morning, after having spent half the night by the bone-eater’s well again, he returned to see Rin sulking by herself in front of old Kaede’s hut.

She sat on a log outside, kicking her small feet with a frown etched on her face.

Rin didn’t even turn her head to watch him approach. And she wasn’t talking this time.

Reason enough to investigate the matter, Inuyasha decided.

Instead of speaking to Rin directly, Inuyasha pulled the bamboo mat aside and stepped inside the hut, without announcing himself or asking permission to enter.

Kaede was hunched over a mortar and pestle, obviously grinding some sort of leaves into a powder. She also didn’t seem surprised by his visit. She didn’t even look up from her bowl.

Inuyasha was not one to beat around the bush.

“What’s she making that long face for?” he asked straightaway.

“Who?”

He sighed, already losing his patience. This old bat…

“Rin.”

Finally, old Kaede looked up at him, momentarily stopping her work.

“She said she wants to visit the hill that’s beyond the river. I told her it’s too dangerous to go alone and the others are busy, so there is no one to accompany her.”

Inuyasha scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

There was not one single person free who could go with the girl?

Or maybe the more important question was, why would she even want to go there at all? It was quite far off and as unremarkable as any other hill.

On an impulse he couldn’t explain, Inuyasha said the first thing that came to mind.

“I could go with her.”

As soon as he had spoken his half-hearted suggestion, Rin already crashed into the hut behind him, all sparkly-eyed and excited once more.

Inuyasha flinched, turning around to stare at the girl.

How on earth was she able to sneak up on him like that? And why did she even hear what they were talking about in the first place?

“Really? You’ll go with me?” she asked, clasping her hands over her heart as though she was praying.

Inuyasha ignored the way she looked up at him with childish hope and youthful exuberance. At least he tried to.

“Oi, listening in on the adults talking is rude,” he scolded, arms still crossed over his chest.

But Rin didn’t look intimidated in the slightest. She probably didn’t even hear his admonishment.

“Off with you two. But come back before dinner, I’ll need your help with the preparation, Rin,” the priestess said from her corner of the room.

“Thank you, Lady Kaede!” Rin said, now even jumping with excitement.

Inuyasha stared incredulously between the two.

He was not even a factor to consider in their decision making. Though, to be fair, his carelessly spoken suggestion was probably invitation enough for the bored Rin.

And that old bat Kaede was probably glad to be free of the sulking girl.

“Alright, alright. Let’s go,” Inuyasha grumbled, leaving the hut without the need to stare at the childishly happy girl yet again.

What did he get himself into?

Though significantly smaller than him, Rin caught up to his steps fast and they walked side by side through the forest on the way to the hill she apparently wanted to see with such desperation.

Inuyasha tried to walk in front of her, keeping his hand on Tessaiga for good measure, but for some reason the girl insisted on walking beside him.

He had actually expected her to be a bit shy, like little girls usually were, especially in the presence of a half-demon such as himself.

But Rin wasn’t shy at all. Nor was she intimidated by him.

In fact, she started talking again. A lot.

“I really hate sitting around all day. And sometimes my head gets so full from all the things Lady Kaede teaches me. How does she remember it all? Do you think that’s why her head is so big, because she has so much knowledge?” the girl babbled on.

Inuyasha felt the girl’s eyes on him, probably burning with curiosity, but he kept his eyes on the road ahead of them.

“You really have a lot to say, huh?” he commented.

“Does it bother you, Lord Inuyasha?”

He bristled at the strange title.

“Don’t call me that. I’m just Inuyasha.”

“Okay, just-Inuyasha,” she said, grin evident in her tone. “Does it bother you that I speak so much?”

He rolled his eyes. She was such a kid.

Inuyasha didn’t reply right away. He thought about her question for a moment while they continued to stroll together.

Then he decided to be honest with her.

“Not really,” he shrugged.

He still didn’t turn his head to look at her, so he didn’t know whether that relieved her or made her happy. But when she spoke up next, something in her tone shifted. Even he heard it clearly.

“It wasn’t always like this. Before I found Lord Sesshomaru, I actually didn’t speak at all.”

“Oh really?” Inuyasha asked, somewhat absentmindedly.

She phrased that oddly, he thought. Why did she say that she found Sesshomaru, instead of him finding her, as it surely must’ve happened?

“Yes. When the bandits killed my mother, I saw how they opened her throat. After that I couldn’t speak anymore. I couldn’t even cry out loud. But I still remember her screams. Sometimes I hear her in my nightmares.”

Absolutely horrified, Inuyasha’s head snapped toward Rin at once and he stopped walking abruptly.

“Woah, hold on now a moment,” he said, even tugging at her sleeve to stop her from walking.

Where did this suddenly come from?

The mood had just been carefree, even if he had been slightly annoyed before.

And now she spoke of such appalling brutality in this casual manner?

It was more than disturbing.

He stared at her with furrowed brows, and she stared back, wide-eyed.

Inuyasha had absolutely no idea what to say to her. He wasn’t good at this sort of thing… at consoling someone.

And this was so wholly bizarre. If Rin started crying now it would’ve been just as uncomfortable, but at least it would’ve been predictable.

But she wasn’t crying.

She spoke of it with blunt openness, the likes of which was certainly not normal for a girl her age.  

But then again, they all lived through their own share of tragedy. He knew as much.

Still, Inuyasha was not good at consoling crying little girls. And he was even less good at handling hurt little girls who hid their pain behind their never-ending cheerfulness, as Rin did.

Kagome would’ve handled the situation much better than him.

Inuyasha stopped himself from thinking about her at once. It was too painful to even speak her name in his mind.

“Sorry for asking. Let’s talk about something else,” he eventually grumbled, turning his head away again.

He began to walk without waiting to hear her reply, without wanting to see the look in her eyes.

But Rin caught up to him again in no time.

“It’s alright, Rin isn’t mad at Lord Inuyasha,” she said, as though it needed clarification.

He rolled his eyes again, but the tension from before was gone already.

“Hey now, what did I say about this whole Lord thing?”

“Oh right, sorry,” he heard her giggle. “Just-Inuyasha.”

Much better, Inuyasha thought but didn’t say aloud.

Chapter Text

Grief was an odd companion.

It was heavy and foul, like the dead weight of an animal carcass one was dragging from the woods. But at the same time, it was almost irresistible to sink into, pulling and reaching out to any aching soul with beckoning arms.

And so rarely did it come alone.

No, alongside that sickening grief – shoulder to shoulder, one could even say – was guilt.

Grief and guilt, they were the two most heinous friends.

Inuyasha despised them, despised the loss of control as they wreaked havoc on his tormented soul.

He let his head fall back with a loud thud, welcoming the painful sting of the wood behind his back.

He was here once again, at the Bone-Eater’s Well, slumped against it like a wet rag.

Guilt-ridden and grief-stricken, he was the perfect picture of misery.

“Damn it…,” he cursed silently, pressing the heels of his hands into his closed eyelids until he saw sparks.

His grieving didn’t even make sense.

Kagome wasn’t dead. She was back home, probably safe and sound, living the life she ought to live in the first place.

Why couldn’t he be happy that she was gone?

When she first appeared, he had even told her multiple times to leave. She had been an odd outsider, loud, abrasive and absolutely misplaced.

Just like him.

And yet, he was cursed to stay alone. Left behind as he always was.

Why could his stupid, soft human heart – courtesy of his mother – just not let go?

Of course, Inuyasha knew the answer to that already.

He stopped tormenting his eyes and let his hands fall to his sides, in resignation.

Whoever had said that love was selfless and kind was an idiot.

It was the most selfish thing to exist. How else could he justify this unfair longing?

Inuyasha’s ears twitched as an unbidden sound echoed throughout the woods.

“I want to be alone,” he gruffly shot towards the trees, without looking up.

He didn’t need to lift his head to know that she was approaching. He had already smelled her coming closer some time ago.

“But why would you want that?” Rin asked, finally coming into view after jumping over some overgrown roots.

Inuyasha sighed, even as she approached and unceremoniously flopped down beside him, also leaning her back against the well.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see her at all. The girl was nice enough, even if she was an odd kid.

He still didn’t understand what had happened last time, when he accompanied her to the hill she so desperately wanted to see.

She had spoken so casually about the slaughter of her family, and then her day went on as though nothing had happened.

Perhaps he should’ve been more worried for the girl. Something was clearly wrong with her.

But Inuyasha did not possess the capacity to worry about her now. His two dismal companions, grief and guilt, were playing jump rope with his heartstrings.

“When I’m sad, I don’t like to be alone,” Rin continued.

He felt her questioning gaze on the side of his face, and an unbidden headache started to pound in his temples.

He really didn’t have the patience to deal with her odd shenanigans and questions today. But still, he couldn’t even muster up enough of his abrasive disdain to just send her away.

Very well then, let her be the one to witness him being such a miserable dog.

Inuyasha sighed again.

“I need to be alone to think better,” he reluctantly answered her earlier question, still not looking up.

“Why?”

A low growl of frustration escaped him, and he finally turned his head to look at her, brows furrowed. She was really testing his flimsy patience.

“What do you mean why? What’s there not to understand?”

Rin did not flinch in the face of his exasperation and annoyance. In fact, she looked rather as though she was enjoying herself, knees drawn up and tucked under her chin, toes splayed and wriggling in the grass below.

Was he really that much of a beaten-down dog or did this girl just lack basic survival instincts that would make her refrain from seeking out frustrated half-demons in the woods?

Perhaps both.

“You can still think when I sit here. It’s not like I’m in your head,” Rin shrugged nonchalantly, still playing with her toes.

Inuyasha did not fight the urge to roll his eyes at her. The girl said such strange things at times. But even so, she was far less grating than others, who’d try to pester him with their sympathy or shared condolences.

He didn’t need it – didn’t want it.

The oddity of one kid was much easier to bear. Or maybe he was just a sucker for pain.

“Okay fine, suit yourself,” he huffed.

Shuffling on the grass, he pulled his knees closer together to put some distance between them, effectively sitting in the same position as her now – with his knees tucked under his chin while he stewed in his own misery.

He really had to give the girl credit, even though he had expected her to babble on and on about whatever fancy had taken her now, Rin remained remarkably silent, allowing him to continue his aimless thinking.

She simply sat beside him, now plucking at the grass with her toes. Perhaps she was lost in thought too.

“What are you thinking about, Inuyasha?”

Oh well, there went his peace.

He gritted his teeth, headache now flaring up from his temples to the back of his head. Inuyasha had to remind himself not to needlessly snap at her.

She’s just a kid. She’s just a kid.

“I’m thinking about… It’s just— It’s hard to let go sometimes.”

Inuyasha was surprised by his own admission. Although he had not spoken those words with any discernable softness – the words coming out rather harshly, like they were pulled from his teeth – he had still been honest with her, on a whim.

Maybe his two companions, guilt and grief, remembered how the girl had opened up to him last time they spoke, even in that brash way of hers.

Those bastards.

His eyes slid to her, watching for any sort of judgement that would come. But Rin still sat silently, hugging her knees to her chest now.

When she spoke up again, it was with that same carefree nonchalance.

“You should stop being such a baby.”

It didn’t even take a second for his shoulders to tense as a jolt raced through his spine. His head jerked toward the girl so fast his neck cracked audibly.

“Excuse me?!”

The anger that flared first was hot and reflexive, a defense mechanism that was second nature to Inuyasha. But it was chased equally as quickly by a pang of hurt that sat heavy in his chest.

Why was she mocking him?

He had not been the perfect picture of empathy either last time, when she made her shocking confession, but at least he didn’t demean her.  

Rin didn’t flinch, even when Inuyasha raised his voice. She still looked carefree.

“That’s what Master Jaken would say to me in such moments,” she explained plainly.

Inuyasha didn’t know what to say.

Was this some kind of messed up attempt at making him laugh? Well, it sure as fuck did not work.

With a sigh, he slumped back against the well. The worn wood bit into his shoulder blades.

“Oh, yeah. Great,” he grumbled.

His heart was still racing.

“Lord Sesshomaru would not say that though,” she continued. “He would—”

“Please, spare me,” Inuyasha interrupted, now clearly irritated.

He certainly did not want to imagine what his lovely half-brother would say if he saw him slumped against an old dirty well like a sack of rice, stewing in his own misery.

He could imagine very well the disgust and vitriol that would drip from the voice of that pompous prick.

And he did not wish to know how he had consoled the little girl beside him either. Probably not at all, knowing Sesshomaru.

Maybe that was why Rin was so messed up. His half-brother was not exactly known to be the comforting type.

Inuyasha stopped himself from flinching at the slab of sympathy that went through him at the thought.

Poor girl. Life had already punished her enough. And now she had the additional baggage of a demon’s coldness to bear.  

Perhaps, in due time, she would forget about his cruel half-brother and live to grow up as a normal human girl instead.

Lost in thought, Inuyasha didn’t notice how Rin moved closer. Not until he felt a small, warm hand press gently against the top of his head.

He didn’t jerk away.

Inuyasha froze under her touch.

Where the hell did this come from?

Oddly enough, she avoided his very sensitive ears. Even though he knew she must’ve been dying to touch them. He’d caught her eyeing them curiously just the other day. As did everyone.

But Rin didn’t go for them, even though she might’ve wanted to. She simply patted his hair a couple of times, without saying anything, and then she settled back beside him.

Her toes spread on the grass again, but this time she started humming a tune.

Inuyasha blinked.

“…Rin,” he said after a beat. “Quick question. What the fuck was that about?”

Inuyasha grimaced immediately. He probably shouldn’t have sworn in front of her like that. But still, she’d witnessed worse, and this was kind of a big deal.

Rin didn’t even look up.

“What?”

“That thing you just did,” he said, gesturing vaguely at his head.

“Oh. I told you, Lord Sesshomaru wouldn’t scold me when I got sad. He would do that.”

She mimed a little pat in the air.

“And then I’d feel better.”

Then, she looked at him fully. So far, he had not seen the look in her eyes. Now he did. Her eyes were bright and curious, but underneath it, he saw her honest effort.

“Did it make you feel better, Inuyasha?”

He narrowed his eyes at her.

Inuyasha could hardly imagine his half-brother actually doing that, no matter how sad the girl was. Surely, she must’ve dreamt it. That was the only explanation.

Rin’s expectant eyes stayed locked on him, and embarrassment flickered through him momentarily. He didn’t want to disappoint her, for some reason. But he couldn't lie either.

“Not really,” he muttered, scratching the back of his head. “But… thanks anyway.”

He looked away quickly when he caught the little spark of excitement that lit up her face.

“Want me to try again?” she asked eagerly, already shifting like she might pounce.

“Uh, no. I’m good.”

He’d half a mind to tell her to leave, or at least back off for a while. But before he could open his mouth, she simply settled back down beside him, quiet again.

And he really couldn’t deny it, her odd little display had distracted him from his misery, if only for a moment.

The guilt and grief were still there, of course. Still his miserable, ever-present companions.

But now, apparently, Inuyasha had picked up a third odd companion.

Chapter Text

Inuyasha liked being busy. Busy was good.

Busy meant his mind didn’t have the chance to spin in useless circles over things he couldn’t change.

And he was well prepared for today’s task. Born ready, in fact. It was another extermination job, some cry for help from useless people he was sure to cash in on.

Still, Inuyasha had to put up with a few things. For one, the lecherous monk was not coming with him. Well… not so lecherous these days, it seemed. More than anything, the monk had gone paternal.

Then again, it took a bit of lechery to become a father in the first place, so maybe the monk hadn’t lost his ways entirely.

Inuyasha did not like this train of thought.

Be that as it may, today Inuyasha was left to his own, lonesome devices.

He didn’t exactly like it. Certainly not because he was in need of help dealing with these lesser demons, but because it meant he’d be alone the whole day: from journey, to job and back. Being alone sucked. He’d had enough of that already. And the monk was usually good, entertaining company, Inuyasha didn’t mind admitting that.

But then again, if he’d really needed company, he probably could’ve demanded Myoga to come along. The cowardly flea would no doubt drone on and on about the ancient and glorious tales of his old man, and then bolt faster than a horse as soon as there was even a whiff of danger.

On second thought… no, thank you. Inuyasha was quite content going by himself.

Damn that monk and his busy schedule!

Still, he couldn’t blame him. Sango was still in her confinement period after giving birth, and this was, by all means, the monks most coveted wish come true – at last, he had his own small family.

Who knew what kind of fool Inuyasha would make of himself if his own wishes ever came true. Maybe it was better not to think about that.

It was rather unconventional for the monk, as the father and head of said small family, to be so involved in his wife’s duties and to dote on the babies the way he did. But then again, what was even conventional about this village at all?

Case in point: the young girl Inuyasha spotted, or rather sought out, who was now hanging upside down from a low tree branch that she’d been sitting on earlier.

Rin had flipped herself backward over the branch, her knees were still hooked around it, and she clung to the branch with both hands as well.

Inuyasha didn’t know what compelled him to seek her out before heading off on this extermination job. But here he was, staring at the upside-down Rin, who clung to that branch like a monkey.

“Hey, are you trying to be a monkey now, or is this just something you decided to do?” he asked as he approached her.

Rin lifted her head, and it was then that he saw just how red her face had turned. No doubt that her suspended position made all the blood in her body rush downward.

Silly girl.

Rin gave him a wide downturned smile, thanks to her position. Her hair hung straight toward the ground, longer than he remembered.

Why was he noticing that?

"Oh, hey Inuyasha," she greeted. "I just wanted to see what the world looks like upside down.”

She sounded a little breathless and explained her strange early morning activity as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

"Okay. Sure," Inuyasha shrugged, already used to her antics by now.

Best not to question Rin when she was in one of those moods.

Rin giggled.

“You look really funny from this angle."

Alright, perhaps this had been a really stupid idea. He grumbled something unintelligible when the annoyance flared up in him.  

"Oh, did you come here to spend time with me?" she asked excitedly, then swung her legs down and dropped to the ground.

She was remarkably flexible, at least he had to give her that.

Rin swayed a little, and Inuyasha stepped forward, ready to catch her if she toppled over, but the odd girl didn’t fall. Her hair was sticking out in all directions, and she looked wild, but her smile was bright and carefree.

Inuyasha frowned as unbidden guilt started to gnaw at him.

“That’s not– …No.”

He didn’t have to tell her what he was up to, nor did he have to bid her goodbye if he was coming back in a few hours anyway. But the simple truth of the matter was that Inuyasha didn’t like seeing Rin alone all the time.

He was noticing it more and more. If she wasn’t busy with whatever Kaede had tasked her to do, or pestering him for some reason, the girl was always by herself. Lost in her aimless thoughts or playing by herself.

It wasn’t right.

Inuyasha crossed his arms in front of his chest, to at least give some semblance of authority.

"I’m going on an extermination," he explained. “I’ll be back in a bit. Try not to get into trouble, will you?”

Rin cleverly ignored that last part.

“What is it? The demon you must kill, I mean.”

He raised a brow. There it was again, that casual mention of killing from her. She didn’t even flinch. But Inuyasha had to remind himself, Rin was not a regular girl.

"Dunno. Some swamp creature. Should be easy enough," he answered truthfully.

"Can I come with you?"

"Absolutely not!"

He would not make an exception for Rin this time. Even though he frequently entertained the girl’s silly ideas. Too frequently, probably.

But this was no joking matter. No matter how much she pouted and stared with her innocent, hopeful eyes that even tugged at his sore and chewed-on heartstrings.

No chance.

“Okay, good luck then,” Rin said at last, very casually too, before she turned to climb the tree again.

As though nothing had happened, she flipped herself upside down just like before, legs hooked over the branch, hair swinging free.

This foolish girl.

So damn fearless. So eager to follow him and ask for his company, without thinking about what it meant or what it did to him.

Maybe Inuyasha was the foolish one.

It had been a shit show.

Because of course it was. Nothing in Inuyasha's miserable existence could ever go according to plan.

He had won that fight in the end, that went without saying, but the bruises blossoming underneath his robe were nothing short of humiliating. That and the nasty gash on his shoulder, on top of being soaked from head to toe.

How was he to know that an amphibian-looking demon had a forked and spiked tongue that could lash out like a whip?

That nasty beast was a freak of nature – and that was quite the testament coming from Inuyasha, another freak of nature.  

His hair was heavy, and he was pretty sure there was still water in his ears, no matter how much he shook himself. He wanted to change, wash off that swampy stench, and then go straight to sleep. At least the bounty had been decent. The villagers had paid him handsomely, actual money this time, and even given him a proper meal.

He trotted along the village paths, passing by Sango and Miroku’s home. But his perpetual frown deepened when he neared Kaede’s hut.

“Why are you still up?” he asked, scrunching his nose in disdain.

Rin sprang to her feet the moment she saw him.

“You're late. I was worried about you,” she murmured.

He scoffed and turned his face away, refusing to acknowledge the heat rising in his cheeks.

“Keep your pity to yourself, will you?” he snapped rather waspishly.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her slight shoulders shrinking in. Damnit, he was being such an ass right now.

“I wasn’t pitying you, Inuyasha.”

But he couldn’t deal with this right now – these… these feelings, that guilt, that detrimental empathy he had for the girl. Not tonight.

He squared his shoulders but quickly regretted that action when pain lanced through his injured one. He flinched hard.

“Yeah, well, I ain’t weak, so there’s no need for you to stay up and be worried,” he grumbled, managing to at least sound less agitated.

He stole a glance at Rin, hoping to see her relax, but Inuyasha was stunned. Rin looked angry. She had her hands clenched into fists at her sides and a rather off-putting scowl was etched on her usually happy features.

“I’m not saying you’re weak either. You must stop twisting my words, Inuyasha!” she argued.

Oh, fuck this.

“Rin, go to bed,” he demanded coldly.

He was already turning around to walk over to the nearest creek, to finally scrub the stench of swamp off his skin, but he recoiled when Rin put herself boldly in his way.

“I-I just don’t like seeing you hurt!”

The words, so earnestly spoken, hit Inuyasha straight in his guts. He was not a heartless bastard like his half-brother, however much he might’ve wanted to be.

Damn this girl and her disarming sweetness.

He sighed deeply and decided to take a proper look at her. Her eyes were fixed on his shoulder, where the blood had soaked through even the robe of the fire rat.

"Rin, I’m fine. Promise," he said, softer now. "I’ll just wash up and sleep it off."

She nodded, eyes dropping to the ground. She shifted on her feet, and if he had to make a guess, he’d say she was embarrassed all of a sudden.

And once again, he felt that aggravating urge to console her somehow. Perhaps his exhaustion and the nighttime itself made him more sentimental.

"Hey, so... Kaede got you busy tomorrow?" Inuyasha asked, trying and failing to sound casual.

Rin’s head snapped up, and she immediately brightened.

"Oh yes! We’re going to visit Sango-sama and her babies. Kaede said if I’m careful, I can even hold them!"

"Uh huh. Great," he murmured, unsure what to say.

Inuyasha awkwardly scratched the back of his head.

"We can… uh… spend some time tomorrow, if you like," he added quickly.

He didn’t have the foggiest idea of what they were going to do but suddenly it was imperative for Inuyasha to offer her this olive branch. For acting like a complete dick earlier.

Rin looked positively stunned.

“Do you really mean it?”

Inuyasha was about to shrug, but then remembered his injured shoulder. Damned thing.

“Sure, why not. But go to sleep now, okay?”

Her grin that followed was nothing short of blinding.

“Okay Inuyasha, good night!”

And with that, she hurried back into the hut, as though their argument never took place.

Why not indeed.

Chapter Text

“Oi, you see anything yet?”

Inuyasha let out a grunt under the weight of the small girl currently sitting perched on his shoulder. She was slight but he still had to shift to avoid straining his injured shoulder.

Damn that nasty swamp creature he had slain the night before.

Rin sat on his uninjured shoulder, both legs dangling loosely down his chest, as he stood before a tall tree. Her arms stretched upward into the leafy branches while she shifted and squirmed like a restless baby animal.

He didn’t understand how she could have such little spatial awareness. One wrong move and she’d come crashing down to the ground. And yet, she fully expected him to keep her balanced, like he was just a ladder with ears (which she gladly still avoided touching).

Perhaps she'd picked up that habit from her time with Sesshomaru. Had he been like this with her too? Just scooping her up whenever she barked, “come pick me up, I wanna see something,” and hauling her around so she could act on every whimsical, intrusive thought that crossed her mind?

Inuyasha huffed.

Fat chance of that happening.

He tried to look up when he heard a little scoff coming from Rin. She sounded far too indignant for someone who was currently being carried like a princess.

“Inuyasha, why are you breathing so loud? I can’t concentrate on seeing anything,” she murmured, tugging on his hair with one hand.

He frowned, shaking the shoulder she sat on in silent reprimand.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Rin ignored his question.

“Am I too heavy for you?”

Now it was his turn to scoff.

“Yeah, right,” he said dryly. “If I wanted to, I could toss you into the nearest river.”

Rin giggled, not at all perturbed by his half-hearted threat.

“Maybe we can try that next!”

He rolled his eyes but did not argue with her. Spending time with her had been his suggestion, after all. When she confronted him last night, worry and fear so clearly reflected in her large, expressive eyes – fear for his wellbeing! – he had been powerless to resist. The words had slipped out before he could stop them.

And apparently, Rin’s idea of a fun afternoon together was to make him her personal ladder.

She had spotted some birds earlier and promptly declared that they must find the nest. Now she twisted again, almost kneeing him in the jaw.

“They’re crying so loud… but their parents aren’t here,” she murmured, very concentrated again.

Before he could reply, Rin gasped and stopped her squirming. Inuyasha tilted his head up.

“What? You found it?”

“Shh! Be quiet!”

The sheer gall of her hissing at him to be quiet made his hackles rise. Inuyasha very nearly plucked her off his shoulder right then and there to tell her a piece of his mind and send her back to the village.

But Rin spoke up again, softer this time.

“They’re pretty… and so tiny…”

Something in the way she said it punched a hole right through his irritation, snuffing it out altogether. He glanced up into the leaves. There was some movement and the unmistakable squeaking of the baby birds in their nest.

Rin leaned forward again, and he tightened both of his hands on her waist to keep her from slipping.

“Their mouths are open,” she said.

“That’s ‘cause they’re waitin’ for food,” he explained.

Inuyasha wanted to sound annoyed and impatient, but his words lacked the necessary bite, even to his own ears.

“How cute they are…” Rin mumbled, almost absentmindedly.

She didn’t move to touch the nest or to disturb the birds. She was apparently content with simply watching them as they cried for their parents to return.

“What?” Inuyasha scoffed. “This the first time you’ve seen birds?”

“Of course not, but so what?” Rin shot back. “It’s still special. They’re small and helpless. They’re crying because they want somebody to notice them!”

He narrowed his eyes, unsure what to make of that. It wasn’t exactly true. These birds certainly didn’t wait for some nosy girl to seek out their nest and admire them. But Inuyasha suspected Rin’s little outburst had little to do with the birds themselves.

He stored that thought in the back of his mind to mull over it later. Right now, he was not really in the mood to analyze her confounding urges.

“Alright, that’s enough. Let them be,” he announced and shifted his footing.

Inuyasha stepped back from the tree, Rin still perched on top of him. But even when he stepped back, she made no move to get down. She didn’t even tap his shoulder to signal that she wanted to be let down to the ground again.

Rin patted his head, gently, and Inuyasha went still. He remembered that gesture. Weeks ago, when she had joined him by the well and tried to cheer him up, she had done it just so.

A strange lump formed in his throat.

“So this is what it’s like to be tall,” she giggled above him.

Inuyasha groaned. Rin jumping from strangely mature thoughtfulness to gentle sentimentality and then to childish whimsy once more was giving him vertigo.

It was so stupid… but also undoubtedly endearing. Even he couldn’t stop the quiet, huffing laugh that slipped out. He steadied his hold on her.

“Yup. You’re tall now… Alright, where to next, tall girl?” he asked, feeling oddly jovial.

Rin squirmed happily on his shoulder and for one moment, Inuyasha forgot all the aches in his body. Rin pointed straight ahead with her arm.

“That way!”

It was a ridiculous game to indulge in. And perhaps he shouldn’t spoil her like that. But there was no one else in these woods to see them, so Inuyasha was content to be Rin’s personal ladder for the day. He let her have that joy.

As long as she wouldn’t tug on his ears.

Chapter Text

Inuyasha didn’t often sleep indoors.  Even if he was rightly entitled to do so, seeing as he shared a hut with both Kaede and Rin, strictly speaking – a dog, he may have been, but a stray he was not.

Nevertheless, on most nights, he chose to sleep outdoors: either right outside the entrance, legs crossed and sword tucked firmly beneath his elbow like the eternal watchdog he was, or, on nights he felt especially lonely and miserable, leaning against that wretched Bone Eater’s Well in the woods, the same one that had swallowed everything good and kind in his life.

Well, perhaps not everything good and kind, but the point still stood.

That well sucked.

In any case, on that particular morning Inuyasha rose with the crow of the rooster. He blinked his eyes open, feeling the sandy texture of sleep still clinging to his lids, and groaned.  His head had lolled back against the bumpy wooden wall of the hut in a way that was definitely not comfortable and was sure to leave a crick in his neck.

But hey, at least he’d gotten a decent amount of dreamless sleep for once. He took that as a win, small as it was.

His brain wasn’t operating at full capacity yet when he roughly pushed aside the bamboo mat and headed inside, expecting to find both Rin and the priestess still asleep – or at least just waking – but Inuyasha shot up ramrod straight in alarm when he saw that Rin already shone with a brightness that rivaled the very sun, hair still tousled but flat on one side – probably the side she’d slept on – as she jumped up and down on her sleeping mat.

She looked as hyper as if she’d been awake for hours, and her excitement was equal parts infectious as it was misery-inducing.

The latter because he knew exactly what had triggered it. Or rather, who.

The old priestess was nowhere to be found either. Inuyasha briefly considered turning on his heel and heading back outside so he wouldn’t have to deal with Rin's oddness this early in the morning, but the prospect of listening to old Kaede’s patronizing admonishments about him “wasting his day with unnecessary naps” or “evading his responsibilities” was infinitely worse than Rin’s early cheer.

Oh, the joys of community living.

“Do you have to be like that, first thing in the morning?” Inuyasha grumbled as he trotted over to the basin of water they kept on an ornate chest that looked entirely out of place in this modest home.

Just another reminder of who had Rin acting so enthusiastic this morning.

“Only on special days,” Rin replied with remarkably dry wit, though there was no mistaking the wide smile in her voice.

Inuyasha leaned over the basin and scooped out some of the water with both hands to rid his eyes of that sandy texture of sleep that still clung to him.

“Today’s a special day?” he asked, trying to sound nonchalant but failing miserably.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw how Rin stopped jumping to instead fix him with an accusatory glare. It was somewhat hard to take her seriously though, disheveled as she still was.

“You know it is, Inuyasha!” she whined. “Lord Sesshomaru is coming today.”

Grunting quietly, Inuyasha pushed himself upright from his hunched position over the basin. Water dripped from his hands into the sleeves of his robe as he crossed his arms over his chest, awkwardly glancing around the room to find something else worth talking about.

“Uh-huh…”

He found nothing.

Inuyasha cleared his throat.

“So, uh... where’s the old bat?” he asked, hoping to steer the conversation somewhere else before Rin’s warm excitement burned a hole through the roof.

“Lady Kaede’s gone to the creek to wash herself.”

Ugh. That was not an image he wanted in his head. Perhaps they ought to talk about something else, then. But it was hard to come up with anything when his brain was still sleep-addled. And he wasn’t exactly the greatest conversationalist to begin with.

Still, anything to keep the girl’s mind off the imminent and inevitable disappointment of his half-brother’s visit.

He knew Rin was still hopelessly devoted to Sesshomaru, for whatever reason. And his refusal to take her back into his care would only end in tears. Tears and weeping that would last for days.

Inuyasha had worked so hard to make the girl feel less lonely these past few weeks, humoring her strange quirks, letting her trot alongside him, letting her worry about him, taking her into whatever patch of woods she wanted to explore next. And now his brother had come back to undo all that progress.

That prick.

He watched as Rin tilted her head, her brows knitting in thought.

“What is it?” Inuyasha warily asked.

“I’ll miss you, you know,” she said, her grin turning rueful.

Inuyasha almost flinched, taken aback by so much quiet earnestness this early in the morning. Damn it, he’d just woken up! He wasn’t ready to deal with feelings yet.

He scoffed his dismissal and turned his head away.

“What are you even talking about?”

Inuyasha’s heart sank further when he heard her small feet trot over to him, crossing the short distance of the room. He very much wished he wasn’t here right now.

Still, he didn’t push her hand away when it found the edge of his sleeve, crossed over his chest, and she rubbed the wet fabric nervously between her thumbs. He didn’t turn his head toward her, but his eyes inevitably drifted to her face. She didn’t look nearly as cheerful now.

“When I leave with Lord Sesshomaru, I mean. Then we won’t see each other again.”

He sighed.

Here we go…

“I mean, that’s the reason he’s coming to visit today, right? To take me with him again. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have sent a letter that said he’s coming. So that must mean something, right?” she babbled on.

Unease settled in Inuyasha’s stomach, heavy as bricks. It had been a shitty idea from the very start, and when that strange letter arrived the other day, he’d rolled his eyes at Sesshomaru’s pretentiousness.

He would’ve intercepted it if he could, but as soon as the priestess held it in her hand, Rin had jumped up and demanded it be read aloud, since she couldn’t read herself.

There was no mistaking that sigil, even if she couldn’t make out the words.

Sesshomaru, that pompous, self-satisfied bastard, apparently found it imperative to announce his visit by letter. Inuyasha saw no other reason for it than Sesshomaru wanting to inflate his own sense of importance. Again.

Fat lot of good it did.

It only fueled Rin’s childish and futile hope that he was going to take her with him again.

The whole arrangement irritated Inuyasha to no end.

Sesshomaru had been the one to dump Rin here, wisely so, but still:

Why did he insist on coming back, every couple of months?

It was insulting that he didn’t trust them to take care of her – one human girl among many, living here peacefully and safely.

Sure, if Sesshomaru didn’t come then Rin wouldn’t be dressed in the stately gowns that he, for whatever reason, saw fit to gift her, but who needed that stuff anyway?

Sesshomaru wasn’t the one who provided her food. He wasn’t the one worried whether Rin found friends in the village. He wasn’t the one who always looked out for her, who went out of his way to comfort her when she was overcome by a bout of melancholy. He wasn’t the one who slept outside her door to make sure there was no ambush at night.

The only thing his half-brother did was fill her head with lofty dreams that would never come true, regaling her with expensive gifts that were meaningless in the long run.

Sesshomaru was so out-of-touch, so insensitive, so damn cruel to keep feeding her that childish hope that he’d come back for her.

Just like that wretched, useless Bone Eater’s well Inuyasha slept beside every second night was fueling his own ridiculous hope of ever seeing Kagome again–

Alright, pause.

Inuyasha swallowed.

Perhaps it was time to reel in the self-pity and focus instead on the little girl in front of him, who was still anxiously rubbing the fabric of his sleeve between her thumbs as though she were trying to start a fire.

“Yeah, well…,” he faltered, gently pulling his sleeve from her grasp as he finally turned his head to look at her properly.

How Rin was able to go from bursting excitement and sharp-tongued teasing to such sorrow was beyond him. Her emotions seemed to operate on a hair trigger.

“You think way too much for this early in the morning,” he said. “Sesshomaru ain’t here yet, and you’ve got some stuff to do before he arrives. Do you really want him to see you with your hair looking all crazy like that?”

Inuyasha teased Rin by reaching out to ruffle her hair – it really resembled those bird’s nests that she was so fond of now – and relief washed through him when Rin grinned up at him once more.

He kept his hand on her head for a moment. He’d learned that gesture of comfort from her.

Inuyasha raised one of his brows challengingly.

“Besides, who said anything about us not seeing each other again, huh? With my luck, I’ll keep running into you every time I think I’ve finally got some peace and quiet.”

Inuyasha wasn’t used to speaking softly, so hiding behind that rough, clipped tone of mock outrage was easier.

And judging by Rin’s bright laughter, it worked well enough.

Inuyasha didn’t need to be informed of when Sesshomaru would arrive.

Before he could see him, before he could even smell him, he could feel his half-brother’s dismal presence. The doom and gloom that followed Sesshomaru wherever he went made Inuyasha’s hackles rise long before he ever showed his face.

And on that day, it was no different.

Given as Sesshomaru had so generously announced his arrival, Inuyasha sat waiting, or rather, was lounging on a large branch – his designated spot for naps – in the woods.

His earlier relaxation was sadly whisked away, and as soon as he felt Sesshomaru’s presence nearby, his skin began to crawl as if a swarm of flies had made a home under the top layer of his skin, rubbing their disgusting spindly little forelegs together to grate on his nerves.

It was irritating, to say the least.

Not wanting to beat around the bush, and definitely not wanting Sesshomaru to simply breeze into the village before he had a chance to speak his mind, Inuyasha jumped to his feet and waited until his half-brother emerged from the thicket of trees.

For someone who insisted on dressing himself in so many light colors, Sesshomaru blended remarkably easy into the murky shades of the forest.  

He didn’t have to wait long before Sesshomaru emerged, presenting himself in all of his egotistical, self-absorbed glory, shoulders high, eyes cold and barely sparing a glance to Inuyasha, as though he hadn’t even noticed him standing there.

Still, Inuyasha didn’t overlook the way Sesshomaru’s hand – the one closest to the swords tied at his hip – twitched, despite his feigned indifference.

Prick.

He also noticed that no one trailed behind his half-brother. Neither that insufferable imp Jaken nor the two-headed dragon were in sight. Sesshomaru had come alone.

Interesting.

Had he sent them on an errand? Sesshomaru didn’t seem to be carrying anything other than his own gigantic pride. So perhaps Jaken and the dragon were still on their way with a gift for Rin?

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. Of course, Sesshomaru couldn’t be assed to do a single thing himself.

“You’re here early. Got nothing better to do?” Inuyasha asked when Sesshomaru came to stand before him – a respectable distance away.

He knew his brother tended to invade others’ space when he wanted to assert his dominance. He wasn’t playing that game today. At least not yet.

Sesshomaru didn’t reply to Inuyasha’s disdainful greeting, if it could even be called such, but the withering glare he shot his way would’ve made most others scramble to get out of the daiyokai’s path.

Not Inuyasha, though.

He was well acquainted with his half-brother’s vitriol.

After a few more moments of standoffish staring and Sesshomaru’s petty reluctance to say something, but also refusing to go out of his way and step past Inuyasha, Inuyasha sighed.

Speaking to Sesshomaru was always about as pleasant as pulling teeth, and they could stand here all day being passive-aggressive shits to each other – or skip straight to their usual full-on violence – but that wouldn’t help either of their causes.

Sesshomaru was here to see Rin, and Inuyasha was here to talk some sense into his half-brother about that. So, he’d have to be the one to speak up.

After all, he was not as averse to logic as Sesshomaru was.

“Listen, Sesshomaru…” Inuyasha began, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. He wasn’t used to something as civil as negotiation with him.

“I’ve been thinking–”

“Oh, really?” Sesshomaru cut him off.

“Whatever has brought on this unprecedented and uncharacteristic self-reflection of yours, Inuyasha?”

Inuyasha shot up, ramrod straight again, as his anger flared hot.

“Oh, screw you, you bastard!”

He couldn’t keep it in, and honestly, it always felt fucking fantastic to insult Sesshomaru like that. The guy was surrounded by too many sycophants as it was.

But Sesshomaru, predictably, didn’t rise to Inuyasha’s temper right away. The slight grin he shot Inuyasha’s way was infinitely more terrifying than his earlier glare.

“Funny that you, of all people, are calling me a bastard,” Sesshomaru drawled, cocking his head to the side.

Inuyasha groaned, slapping a hand over his eyes and dragging it down his face in exasperation.

“Enough of the bullshit,” he snapped.

His patience was wearing thin, and one look at Sesshomaru’s pinched expression told him that he didn’t have much time to make his case before their swords would clash again.

“Listen, Sesshomaru… Rin is miserable whenever you come here,” he said, easing his tone in a way that he hoped made him sound serious.

But as soon as the words left his mouth, Inuyasha regretted them.

Sesshomaru’s upper lip curled back over his teeth in a snarl, and his hand shot down to grab the hilt of his sword.

Perhaps this whole thing was yet to turn violent after all. Still, Sesshomaru didn’t crowd his personal space yet. He still stood at the same spot as before.

“She is not miserable with me,” Sesshomaru said pointedly, voice brimming with barely restrained ire.

Inuyasha flinched, even though he didn’t want to show such weakness in front of him.

“No… but you leave her miserable,” he explained, still unsure how to get his point through Sesshomaru’s thick skull.

Inuyasha hadn’t exactly prepared a speech beforehand, nor was he as pretentiously eloquent as his brother. He knew Sesshomaru detested his foul-mouthed bluntness but there was no other way to say it.

Every time he visited, the poor girl ended up crying her eyes out. Not right away, of course. That came later, once the high had worn off. After she’d tucked away whatever grand, expensive gift he’d brought her.

Inuyasha heard it, every single time – the muffled sobs and sniffles of Rin when she thought no one heard her. When the priestess was snoring beside her, but Rin lay awake, crying for something that would never happen. Crying because she was just a little girl, getting her heart broken over and over again by someone Inuyasha suspected didn’t even have a heart at all. Or perhaps just a very small one.

Inuyasha heard it because he sat outside the hut almost every night, because he didn’t want her to suffer any more than she already had. Because he couldn’t stand to see her like that.

Because he cared about–

“I’m not asking you to stop seeing her… just don’t get her hopes up, is all I’m saying.”

He shifted his weight, feeling exhaustion tugging at his limbs again. This whole thing was draining.

“Tell her you’re not taking her back with you. Make that clear. Tell her that she lives here now, that her home is here with us. Not you.” Inuyasha said firmly.

Even after that declaration, he still had all his limbs and his tongue. Sesshomaru hadn’t yet deigned to maim him. So Inuyasha relaxed his shoulders, looked aside, and muttered under his breath,

“I don’t wanna clean up your messes…”

Wrong move.

Sesshomaru shot forward with uncanny speed, closing the distance between them. Inuyasha let out an undignified yelp as Sesshomaru crowded his space, that hateful vitriol in his eyes now multiplied tenfold, burning into his skull like the poison in Sesshomaru’s claws would, any second now.

“Rin is not a mess,” he hissed between clenched teeth.

Inuyasha froze. He hadn’t expected his throwaway remark to cut that deep. And though he was usually delighted to needle his half-brother like that, one look at Sesshomaru told him this was no joking matter.

“I didn’t say that, did I?” he snapped, backing off, without touching Sesshomaru, no matter how much his hands itched to shove him away.

His heart was racing, and nervous sweat pooled uncomfortably at the back of his neck. But Inuyasha wasn’t a coward. If push came to shove, he was ready to fight Sesshomaru in order to defend himself and the village.

Still, however much he detested his half-brother, Inuyasha knew Sesshomaru wasn’t feral like that.

He really did seem to have a soft spot for the girl. And while Inuyasha couldn’t tell if that came just from some lingering sense of responsibility – Rin had survived nearly a year in his care, after all, and she spoke quite happily about that time – he trusted that Sesshomaru had no ulterior motives where she was concerned.

It wasn’t as though he was planning to gobble her up, or do something strange and sinister, like those lesser demons who tried to possess young girls.

Sesshomaru was quite determined to keep Rin safe. And even if Inuyasha would never admit it to his face – the bastard was smug enough as it was – he respected that.

Even though Sesshomaru had nearly escalated things moments ago, he stood remarkably still now. His gaze seemed distant, and although he was looking at Inuyasha, it felt more like he was looking through him.

Was he actually considering it?

Inuyasha cleared his throat once. Then twice.

Sesshomaru still wouldn’t stop staring. But he said nothing. Didn't even make a sound.

The silence stretched on, and it was getting awkward again. Just by existing Sesshomaru created this kind of uncomfortable tension, he didn’t know how Rin could stand it.

Perhaps that was the reason she was so odd.

Inuyasha let out a deep breath. He was tired. Bone-deep, soul-sucking tired. He was about ready to flop back onto that branch and take another nap. Screw that old bat Kaede and her lectures about “only lazy people wasting daylight.” After dealing with Sesshomaru’s bullshit, he had earned unlimited nap time.

Sesshomaru snapped out of his weird trance-like state at last.

“You are a disgrace,” he said flatly before walking past him without another glance in his direction.

Inuyasha didn’t stop him. He just rolled his eyes and muttered the usual condemning tirade of “pompous, self-serving, egotistical prick” under his breath.

While his brother strode toward the village, Inuyasha stretched, jumped back up onto the branch, and flopped down with a heavy sigh.

He really hoped to be spared the sound of tears tonight.