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Chapter Text

This was not what Shěn Yuán thought he would be doing at his ripe old 20 something years. Okay, that makes it sound as if he was against the idea of transmigrating himself. He really wasn’t opposed to the idea of being sent into some cool sci-fi film, or at least a monster fighting book, or- SOMETHING! But no! He wasn’t put into any of those, out of EVERYTHING he was put into the world of Proud Immortal Demon Way. On top of that…

”Why…The…FUCK! Don’t ! We- have- SWORDS?!?” Shěn Yuán shouted as he hauled himself up a seemingly endless set of stairs. He didn’t even have the mind to be mad anymore. He was sweating and panting like a dog, feeling ridiculous and also disgusting at same time

“Reminder, User threw away his swords.” The system says, cocking its head to the side.

As if he’d allow himself to be seen wearing thigh highs in public?! They weren’t even actual swords?! You’re telling him that the stockings turn into swords, what kind of spiritual weapon is that? Sounds like great master airplane would come up with actually. On the topic of airplane…

”Can we take a break already…? Why do we even have to introduce ourselves?” Shàng Míngzé said, looking worse than Shěn Yuán did. He would have almost felt bad for the guy if it wasn’t for the fact he wrote a shameful porn novel full of very kind of hole.

Shěn Yuàn suddenly felt the urge to kick Shàng Mìngzé’s ankles as hard as he possibly could.

”AH!! What the fuck cucumber bro?!” Shàng Míngzé squawked as he lost his balance and fell

Shěn Yuán didn’t even get to take another step before getting yanked backwards by the end of his dress, he panicked, grabbing into the system and causing all of them to tumbled all the way back down the mountain

In the end the system decided that it was best to “train” first before going into straight into fighting for the cultivation world thing. Apparently, they weren’t as competent as the system originally though. The system was able to take out its anger out on them for pushing their arrival back without taking away their oh so precious shared B-points… Shěn Yuán wished they had just went up the fucking mountain the first time!

Chapter Text

In a small city, far as it could be from the emperor's influence. Citizens roam the streets, chatting cheerily and cussing each other out freely. Merchants flow in and out the city gates, sealing things from sticky sweets to intricate fans. Recently, there had been rumors of a ghost terrorizing a rich young master and his wife up the hill. Whispers spoke of scratches on doors, others of a young woman’s screeches at night, some even talked about blood dripping from the ceiling. Though, no one really bothered to check in on the family, not even to go searching for a wandering cultivator for it. The family had long since gone quiet, and everyone was content leaving them for dead.
Until… more and more families had started to go quiet. Poor to rich- small family units and whole clans started slowly growing silent. The houses the families used to live in started to seem cursed, sending chills down anyone’s spine who passed it. The merchants stopped coming eventually, sending business for the city almost into nothing. The city's people were not charitable folk, they only cared for themselves and themselves only. Which is why it took it to get this far for anyone to try and call for help. You’d think they would have gone sooner, but none truly gave a shit if their neighbors got killed by a ghost, as long as it didn't happen to them personally, it wasn’t a problem. The one man who went to find help was found dead a day later. That death was what finally made everyone panic.
…
Shen Yuan swings his swords wildly as the man in front of him, the heat making his brain fog. He can feel the sweat roll down his forehead to his neck, the way his muscles ache and scream for rest. Shen Yuan’s mouth feels unbearably dry as he pants. He makes a furious frustrated noise- using the last of his waning sanity to fully bring his weight down on Airplane. Deliriously guessing the goal was to kill the hack author.
Airplane wasn’t doing much better. His arms and legs shook madly from overexertion, growing slower and slower in his reaction time as Cucumber became more vicious in his attacks. He really wanted to use a gun- maybe he should rephrase that, it sounds like he wants to shoot Cucumber bro- it would make the fight end so much quicker…
In the end, they both end up collapsing on top of each other, panting harshly. The human form of The System claps mechanically above them, iconic uncanny smile plastered over its face.
“Plus 100 B-Points! Users Are Almost Ready For ‘LEVEL ONE QUEST: Save Random Ass City Airplane Didn’t Bother To Name From Ghosts!’ Congratulations, Congratulations, Congratulations! Important things must be said three times!”
Shang Mingze blows Shen Yuan’s hair out of his face, raising a fist in victory, but he aborts the motion before his arm gets even one inch off the ground. He settles instead for a pathetic “Woohoo..” then immediately continues to die on the soft grass of this pocket dimension they’ve all been in for years already. No one’s really sure how many though.. times weird here..
After the absolute failure that was their first- and only- attempt to get into Cang Qiong, The System had been adamant that they needed a “Training Arc”, Shen Yuan remembers the wince he and Shang Mingze had imagined having to do that. They were right to be complaining. They were so justified. The System works them like dogs! “Endurance Training” his ass?! That shitty System probably gets off to their suffering. It has gotten easier over the.. Presumably long period of time he’s been trapped here against his will. That doesn’t mean his body still doesn’t cry out every time he’s forced to work it way past its limit! He remembers that first day like it was yesterday.. Shen Yuan sighs in his heart at the memory..
Shen Yuan finds his brain too fried to recall it fully, aside from bits and pieces.
….
“Ahh!!! I can’t feel my legs!” Shen Yuan vaguely hears Airplane scream, he can’t process it. Just sound layered over more sound, all he knows is that he’s supposed to be moving.
….
Shen Yuan was sure he was dying as he coughed up more and more blood. Red after red drop, drop drop drop drop, drip drip dripping down his mouth, face, hands.
….
‘What nostalgia.’ Shen Yuan thinks sarcastically.
A few minutes, and some drinks later, Shen Yuan and Shang Mingze are finally alive again. Shang Mingze gulps down his fifth cup of.. Shen Yuan’s actually not sure? He knows for sure that the first pour was water, but Shang Mingze always devours whatever alcohol The System manages to give them.
Shen Yuan decides to try his luck at bargaining with The System he’s - it works like.. 80% of the time- confident he can convince the software. At the very least get a version of what he wanted.
“Ahem,” Shen Yuan clears his throat, “System..?”
“Hmmmmmmmmmmmm????????” The System turns its head towards him, tilting its head unnaturally to the side- Shen Yuan swears it doesn’t get any less unnerving the more he’s around it-. “What’s Up User 002?” it says curiously.
“So.. You said we’re almost ready to start our first mission right?” Shang Mingze perks up beside him
“Yes, This System Did! What’s User 002 Trying To Say?”
“..What if you let us go now? I mean, me and Airplane are pretty OP by now right? We don’t even know how much time has passed here, even you don’t know how this place works! We might miss the plot entirely if we continue any longer, in fact.. We may have already missed it..”
The System’s smile falters slightly. Got em! Shen Yuan cheers internally- he knows how much that waste of bolts cares about following the plot?! Oh, please let him see anyone other than that hack author for once!
“User… is right. Well! You Heard The Cucumber! Get Up User 001! Starter Mission Starting In FOUR-”
Shang Mingze stares slack-jawed at The System
“THREE-”
“Bro?!! What did you do??? Im not ready to fight whatever monster The System is going torture us with?!”
“TWO-
“Airplane! You don’t understand! We’re finally gonna be in civilization again!” Shen Yuan says with almost manic glee
“ONE-”
….
A bright light shoots down from the sky. The force of its sudden arrival seemed to shake heaven and earth. The few remaining citizens unaffected stumble out of their houses- a second force seems to punch through the middle of the street, splitting it in two. The light grows ever brighter, blinding even the ones still stuck inside their homes.
Slowly, two figures are revealed in the middle of that strike of lightning.
Seeing two men were the cause of more destruction in their already dying city, a cross poor man steps further out to cuss them out.
“Hey?! Who the fuck do you think you are? This city is already doomed, we don’t need some cultivator assholes to make it worse!”
The words die out in the man’s throat as the smoke clears, the two figures being unhidden completely.