Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

 roier 🎀⚽️ @spideroier

 can anyone get me to the spider-man movie premiere???

 Jai🦜 @blue_bird

 DUDE YOU CAN JUST GO TO THE MOVIE THEATER???

 roier 🎀⚽️ @spideroier

 uhm,,,,, anyway! can someone take me :3

 Mari (best soccer player) @ElMariaana

 I’ll take u beautiful 💗💗💗💗

 roier 🎀⚽️ @spideroier

 thanks baby 💗 lmk when

 Jai🦜 @blue_bird

 Anyway BUY MY PATREON FOR $5 AND COME TO MY SHOW 2NIGHT AT 7:00pm

———

GREEN GAY NINJAS 💚💚💚🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1)  - Roier, Our goat 🐐- Etoiles, Mrouse - Ironmouse, Mike nye 🧬 - Mike, Gives us money - Bagi, TRAITOR #2 - Fit, the science guy - Maxo, God?? - Antoine, The better twin (not) - ElQuackity.

Our goat 🐐: ROIER WTF MY BRO???

Our goat 🐐: BETRAYING US AGAIN FOR MARIANA???

The better twin (not): I’m dming you death threats roier.

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): BRO HES BEEN MY FRIEND SINCE I WAS A KID???

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): HIM, THE QUACKTWINS, SPREEN, AND JAIDEN WERE ALL MU FROENDS

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): IM NOT A TRAITOR 

TRAITOR #2: if ur not a traitor, im not a traitor

Gives us money: you are basically dating pac shut up bro

Mrouse: biggest traitor yet,,,, kissing our opponent :/

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): this is why im in love with bagis brother

Gives us money: do not talk about how hot my brother is

Gives us money: that shit is gross

Mike nye: what she means roier is “ts pmo sybau”

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): die

Mike nye: okay bro fist fight me

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): Grrrrggrgr im gonna bark at u

Mike nye: not if i do first

Mike nye: BARKBARKBARJBADK 

Mike nye sent a voice message

Our goat 🐐: MY BRO SHUT UP 

Our goat 🐐: I JUST WANT TO PLAY MARIO KART IN PIECE BEFORE GAME WEEK

Mrouse: yeah guys let etoiles play mario kart or im canceling you all on twitter dot com

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): dont cancel me that’s where I talk to my crush

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): btw bagi is ur brother gonna be at the movie premiere????? 

Gives us money: yeah bro I told you a week ago that I’m going so why wouldn’t he???

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): GOD FORBID A GUY FORGETS

———

cellbit @cellbinho

Going to be at the movie premiere this weekend, dm me if you wanna meet up!! I’d love to meet you all

cellbo @thearchivistoffear 🔒

I really don’t but y’know gotta keep up the persona

SLIMMEEE??? @JORTSTORM 🔒

we know vro 🥀

The real spiderman @iRoier 🔒

OH MY GOD I NEED TO DM HIM OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

jayaden @chikawano1fan 🔒

Roi all of bolas has your priv account they could show him this 💔💔💔😭😭😭

The real spiderman @iRoier

DONT TELL HIM SHHH LET ME DM HIM

———

Monday, February 3rd

roier 🎀⚽️

Hola!! I’m going to see the movie

this weekend with my friend mari.

wondering if we could chat while

there

Cellbit

Oi!! Of course man,

I’m a big fan btw, you’re 

on my sister's team, yes?

roier 🎀⚽️

Yeah!! Big fan of you too

can’t wait to see you there!

———

BOLAS???1?1??2?1?1

Mreow - Cellbit, Papa - Philza, Glunk 🦠 - Slimecicle, Hatsune miku - Jaiden, Groceries - Baghera, THE KOC - Foolish, Come home 💔 - Carre

Mreow: ROIER JUST SAID HE WANTS TO MEET UP WITH ME????

Mreow: WHAT???

Mreow: DUDE WHAT

Mreow: I’M IN TEARS

Mreow: I’M CRYING

Hatsune miku: let’s rewind, you’re fangirling over roier???

Mreow: YEAH OBVIOUSLY ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE

Mreow: WHY WOULDN’T I??

Glunk 🦠: he doesnt know what we know

Glunk 🦠: we’re better jaiden,,,,,

Papa: oh yeah Cellbit doesn’t have access to Roier’s private twitter account huh

Groceries: why would you spell that out??

Groceries: why are yoy so old

Papa: IM A COUPLE YEARS OLDER???

Papa: CELLBIT IS ALMOST MY AGE WTF

Mreow: I’m only 26 bro 😒

Mreow: I’m still young, I’m kicking it

Mreow: anyway ROIER DOESNT HAVE ME ON HIS PRIV ACCOUNT???

Mreow: SHOW ME

Mreow: WHATS HE SAYING ABOUT ME

Hatsune miku sent an attachment

——————————

101 Dalmatians 

Cruella - Bagi, Jasper- Jaiden, Horace - Tina, Patch - Ironmouse, the wife - Rivers, the husband - Baghera

Cruella: cellbit just screamed and threw his phone across the living room???

Cruella: our parents are now convinced he’s possessed 

Jasper: mb bro we showed him some stuff roier did ily though bagi!!! don’t tell roier

Cruella: WHY WOULD YOU RAT ROIER OUT LIKE THAT????

Horace: he was bound to do it himself eventually

The husband: ratoier…… 🐀

Cruella: jaiden call me and clear it up with my parents

Cruella: they do NOT believe him

Patch: this grown man kicks his feet and twirls his fucking hair

Patch: put him down

The wife: agreed!!

Horace: wonderful talk now goodnight everyone!!

Patch: NIGHT TINZA!!

The wife: Buenas noches!

Jasper: goodnight tina!!

The husband: AHH NIGHT TINA!!

Cruella: good night my love!!

Horace: boa noite honey!!

———

Catbit posted a new story at 11:18 pm

(two men laying in bed together, one has his lips puckered and the other is staring into the camera with a small smile as if holding in laughter, the caption reads “@feeeelps goodnight from the best in the business, thank you all for coming to the show 💗”)

Chapter Text

BOLAS???1?1??2?1?1

Mreow - Cellbit, Papa - Philza, Glunk 🦠 - Slimecicle, Hatsune miku - Jaiden, Groceries - Baghera, THE KOC - Foolish, Come home 💔 - Carre

Come home 💔: hola 🫶

THE KOC: WHAT NO WAY

Hatsune Miku: NO FUCKING WAY

Mreow: CARRE!!!!

Papa: HOLY SHIT MATE

Glunk 🦠: BRO WHAT???

Come home 💔: ???? 

Come home 💔: whens the next shiw btw

Groceries: DUDE FUCK YOU BRO I HATE YOU

Groceries: YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE HERE

Groceries: FIRE HIM JAIDEN

Come home 💔: 🙁

Come home 💔: ily baghs

Groceries: DONT EVEN

Groceries: IM GONNA KMS CAUSE OF YOU

Come home 💔: write my name on your note in gel pen 

Glunk 🦠: FUCK THATS GOOD

Glunk 🦠: that’s good stealing it 

Hatsune Miku: Carre next show is two weeks from now

Hatsune Miku: can’t wait to see you bro

Mreow: we miss you 💔💔💔😭😭😭

Come home 💔: I miss u guys too

Come home 💔: cellbit why have you been like crashing out in twt

Come home 💔: are you okay????

Mreow: not at all

Mreow: killing myself actively actually

Glunk 🦠: turn that frown upside down!!

Mreow: Roier and I have been messaging for forever now and hgjdkhfdkj

Papa: It’s been three days mate

Come home 💔: oh wow uhm

Come home 💔: calm down papi 😘

Mreow: die

Come home 💔: okay

———

Team Soulfire 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 (pretend they’re blue)

The Onceler - Tubbo, WITCH - Badboyhalo, housewife - Mariana, McFurry - Pierre, Jessie Pacman - Pac, Literally AI - Arin, Wet cat - Missa, Pool - Pol, Mermaid - Lenay, Teana - Tina, the water??? - Rivers

The Onceler: GUYS

The Onceler: GUYS PLEASE ANSWER

WITCH: what???

The Onceler: I GOT A DATE HEH 😼

Jessie Pacman: yay!!! Good job tubbo 

Teana: Only took you all 20 years of your life 💓

Housewife: bro it took you that long

Housewife: I pulled a model

WITCH: Slime hates you???

Housewife: have you ever had bitches?????

WITCH: Foolish!!

Teana: bro what in the threesome, sending this to jaiden

The Onceler: DOES VEGETTA KNOW????

WITCH: That me and foolish are friends?? Of course!!

The Onceler: kys badboyhalo.

WITCH: calm down

Literally AI: ElQuackity and I are going on a date!!

Wet Cat: YAYA!!!! 

The water???: roier owes me so much fucking money oh yeah

McFurry: I thought he liked cellbit??/

The Onceler: no that’s the other twin, Quackity

The Onceler: though I think he also likes luzu so idk

WITCH: Quackity will date anyone with a pulse

WITCH: that’s why he isn’t after arin

———

Spreen @SpreenDMC

Contrary to popular belief I do more then smoking

 

QUACKITY 🦆 @quackity

Drop a new album and I’ll unblock you

 

Spreen @SpreenDMC

Okay man bet

 

The real spiderman @iRoier 🔒

No shot I’ll deadass unblock him too if he does it

 

SLIMMEEE??? @JORTSTORM 🔒

MEET UP AT THE PREMIERE HES GOING TOO PLS PLS PLS

 

Maybe SpreenDMC @spreenthechainsmoker 🔒

Roi why are you answering to this tweet under your priv account you still have me added????

 

The real spiderman @iRoier 🔒

FUCK KYS KYS KYS

 

cellbit @cellbinho

I thought you died what 

 

Spreen @SpreenDMC

Unfortunately not, I’ll let you know when I do though

 

cellbit @cellbinho

Thanks!!

———

Spreen posted a new story at 12:14 pm

(Picture of an album with artist credits in the corner, the caption says “new album drops tonight, visit spreeDMC.shop to pre order merch and buy some tickets to an upcoming show”)

———

The two little birds, little spider, and the big bad bear

Bird 1 - Quackity, Bird 2 - Jaiden, Spider - Roier, Bear - Spreen

Bear: hi

Bird 2: I DIDN’T THINK YOU’D ACTUALLY DO THAT WHAT???

Bird 1: LEAK FOR US PLEASE

Bird 1: we were best friends spreen please por favor 

Spider: dude elementary school reunion

Spider: have you “accidently” hit any dogs in recent days

Bear: DUDE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Bear: I HAD JUST GOT MY LICENCE

Bird 2: I think spreen just got his period

Bird 1: yeah :/

Bear: im hitting you guys with my car

Spider: you’re lucky I didn’t press charges on you

Bear: you should’ve I hate having a career

Bear: cant be too late to do it now can it

Bird 2: I think it is

Bear: god damn it anyway pre-order merch you guys get a 18% discount 

Bird 1: this is why no one likes you spreen

———

Mystery twins

Dipper - Cellbit, Mabel - Bagi

Mabel: cell

Mabel: cellbo

Mabel: cellbit

Dipper: bagi

Mabel: we need to go shopping

Mabel: despite being a model you wear shit clothes

Dipper: telling jaiden you think her clothes are shit

Mabel: SHUT UP BRO THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT

Mabel: YOUR EVENT CLOTHES ARE BAD

Dipper: so are yours :/

Mabel: kay why es

Dipper: just message me when you wanna go

———

GREEN GAY NINJAS 💚💚💚🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1)  - Roier, Our goat 🐐- Etoiles, Mrouse - Ironmouse, Mike nye 🧬 - Mike, Gives us money - Bagi, TRAITOR #2 - Fit, the science guy - Maxo, God?? - Antoine, The better twin (not) - ElQuackity.

Gives us money: Roier

Gives us money: which do you like more?

Gives us money sent an attachment

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): uhm the second one??

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): why are you asking, am I getting new clothes for no reason??

God??: they’re your burial clothes!!

God??: see you at the funeral 

The science guy: is it an open casket??

The better twin (not): if i give him a kiss at the funeral will he come back??

Mrouse: no

Mrouse: maybe we should have cellbit do that

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): SHUT UP SHIT UP SHUT UP

Mike nye: i’ll shit up 😢😢😢

TRAITOR #2: IM SHITTING UP TESRS

Mrouse: YOU’RE WHAT???

Mike nye: SCREENSHOTTED WATCH OUT BALD GUY

———

Morning crew 🌞

Queermc - Fit, Gaytw - Pac, Wokegi - Bagi, Prideza Gendercraft - Philza, Bike - Mike, Tubbo - Tubbo

Bike sent an attachment 

Tubbo: WHAT???

Tubbo: FIT YOU’RE WHAT

Queermc: LISTEN IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

Prideza Gendercraft: MATE HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THAT BAD???

Wokegi: IM BEING BROUGHT TO TEARS

Wokegi: I THINK IM EXPLODING 😭😭😭

Gaytw: FITCH ENGLISH IS YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE 

Gaytw: HOW DID YOU MESS UP????

Queermc: I DONT KNOW 😭😭

Tubbo: Anyway gays 💗💗💗💗

Tubbo: let’s go out for breakfast soon

Prideza Gendercraft: do you even wake up early enough for that????

Tubbo: YEAH???

Wokegi: Cellbit looked over my shoulder and read the message 

Wokegi: he wants to go too

Wokegi: also asking fit to give him roier’s numbwr

Wokegi: as if I don’t have it???

Bike: actually insane

Bike: WAIT I HAVE HIS NUMBER TOO???

Bike: WHY ARE WE BEING DEMOTED???

Gaytw: Favela 5 is dead 💔💔💔💔💔

Gaytw: gotta tell felp

Queermc: I messaged him roier’s number btw 😭😭😭

Queermc: watching a friend group die in real time this is interesting

Tubbo: the favela is dead does thst mean brazil is gonna sink

Prideza Gendercraft: why would brazil sink???

Tubbo: you guys repersent brazil 

Wokegi: how

Tubbo: in my mind you do

Bike: so your brazil is sinking got it

Bike: mine is still standing so I think it’s okay

Gaytw: mine is sinking,,,,,,

Gaytw: it’s gone already

Wokegi: mine died a long long time ago

Queermc: mine is alive and beautiful 

Tubbo: is your brazil actually named Pac tazer?

Bike: probably 

Bike: my brazil is called brazil

Gaytw: I’m brazil???

Wokegi: no cellbit is

Bike: I hope not….

Bike: brazil is fuckinf dead

Gaytw: my brazil is cellbit 🫶

Tubbo: dude fit he’s cheating on you

Queermc: were not dating, we’re roommates

Queermc: also why is your brazil cellbit???

Prideza Gendercraft: why is our brazil anyone

Gaytw: I wanted cell to be included!! 

Wokegi: felps is blowing up the favela chat hold on

———

THE FAVELA FIVE

Cellbito - Cellbit, Felpinho - Felps, Peqi - Pac, Mikinho - Mike, Bagriela - Bagi

Peqi: Felps brazil is sinking 

Felpinho: O QUE???

Felpinho: WHAT THE FUCK??

Felpinho: SINCE WHEN

Felpinho: SOMEONE ANSWER

Felpinho: GOOGLE JS NO HELP

Felpinho: ARENT BAGI AND CELLBIT IN BRAZIL???

Felpinho: Wait I’m in brazil rn with them.

Bagriela: took you long enough

Bagriela: also cellbo and I flew home last night

Cellbito: We’re going to the spiderman movie premiere w/ bolas, Tina, and morning crew

Felpinho: I’m not invited???

Cellbito: I can get you a quick flight here

Cellbito: You can be my plus one

Felpinho: obrigado lindo 🫶🫶🫶

Cellbito: sempre bonito 💋💋💋

Mikinho: thank god I’m married and have oh idk a life,,,,,,

Peqi: whatever 😒

Cellbito: queridinho you can join me and felps 🫶🫶🫶🫶

Peqi: pucker up cellbo

Bagriela: so it’s cellbit, felps, guaxinim, pac, fit, and hopefully roier

Cellbito: JV too, he’s guaxi’s gf

Peqi: LET IT GO

Peqi: ITS NOT FUNNY ABYMORE LET IT GO

Cellbito: we can’t kiss anymore

Peqi: no please I’ll change,,,,

Cellbito: sigh alright 

Cellbito: also why is guaxi still on the list??

Mikinho: you have publicly kissed multiple times post break up

Mikinho: even we thought you guys got back together 

Bagriela: our parents still ask because last part you two kissed and someone posted it

Cellbito: i kiss felps and pac all the time and we’re not dating

Cellbito: if I start dating again I’m obviously gonna stop

Cellbito: learn to take a bit bagi :/

Felpinho: I hope roier doesn’t like you back

Peqi: he definitely does we’re cooked

Mikinho: can’t wait to see the break up 

Cellbito: LEAVE ROIER OUT OF THIS BRO

Bagriela: cell get ready were going out to get clothes

Cellbito: okay, felps call me so we can set up your flight

Mikinho: leaving me and pac out we get it

Mikinho: we’re not famous enough 💔

Peqi: were on our way to record an album??

Peqi: rhat everyone has been begging for??

Peqi: we are quite famous

Mikinho: not enough, we should collab with spreendmc for this

Cellbito: no I’m waiting for him to die, need him to lmk

Mikinho: you go die

Cellbito: whatever

Chapter Text

Cellbit - Cellbit, Roier - Roier

Cellbit: oi

Cellbit: it’s me

Roier: ????

Roier: mike???

Cellbit: No cellbit

Roier: should’ve said that :/

Cellbit: you have mikes number????

Cellbit: why would I be mike

Roier: maybe he got a new phone

Roier: he doesn’t warn us, he just does things

Cellbit: fair enough

Cellbit: sorry for texting you out of the blue

Cellbit: I had fit give me your number

Cellbit: to talk to you

Roier: I see

Roier: we should give each other cooler names then

Roier set Cellbit’s name to Gatinho

Roier: mike taught me that one

Gatinho: oh really? 

Gatinho: Carre taught me one

Gatinho set Roier’s name to Guapito

Gatinho: it means handsome, no?

Guapito: yes it does

Guapito: gatinho means kitty, right?

Gatinho: that’s one of it’s meanings

Gatinho: people use to as beautiful

Guapito: ah where you are like a kitty and you’re beautiful 

Guapito: matches you perfectly ;)

Gatinho: someone's a flirt

Guapito: I can’t help it when around you, gatinho 

Gatinho: you flatter me, guapito

Guapito: I think my job is to

Guapito: someone as gorgeous as you deserves the attention 

Gatinho: someone as handsome as you deserves some praise too

Gatinho: I guess were even

Guapito: I suppose so 

———

GREEN GAY NINJAS 💚💚💚🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1)  - Roier, Our goat 🐐- Etoiles, Mrouse - Ironmouse, Mike nye 🧬 - Mike, Gives us money - Bagi, TRAITOR #2 - Fit, the science guy - Maxo, God?? - Antoine, The better twin (not) - ElQuackity

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): CELLBIT IS JUST

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): FLIRTING BACK???

Mike nye 🧬: it’s like you guys are synced 

Mike nye 🧬: guess who just started screaming in the favela chat

Mrouse: the ladies' periods are synced already!!

TRAITOR #2: wait til pac hears that one

Gives us money: oh he had, jusr sent him a screenshot

Gives us money: I can’t tell which one is more sad, pac or felps

Mike nye 🧬: both are equal I think

Mike nye 🧬: oh no felps just sent a picture of him cryinf real tears

the science guy: this is why I don’t bother with my way relations

God??: pierre is your boyfriend

Our goat 🐐: NEW TRAITOR

Our goat 🐐 changed the science guy’s name to TRAITOR #3

TRAITOR #3: REALLY ETOILES???

TRAITOR #3: I HATE YOY ALL

Our goat 🐐: YOU HATE ME??

Our goat 🐐: I AM ARE NOTHING BUT KIND

Spider-Man (TRAITOR #1): YOU GUYS ARE USELESS

———

The two little birds, little spider, and the big bad bear

Bird 1 - Quackity, Bird 2 - Jaiden, Spider - Roier, Bear - Spreen

Spider: CELLBIT IS FLIRTING BACK HELP

Bird 2: you guys just share a brain cell

Bird 2: uhm keep flirting with him, he likes it

Spider: ARE YOU SURE??

Bird 2: yes, he sent a voice message, giggling and crashing out

Bird 1: Roier share cellbit

Bird 1: I want him too 👅👅👅👅👅👅

Spider: YOU FREAK BACK OFF

Spider: HE’S MINE

Bear: does anyone here have real world problems

Bird 2: my stylus died

Bear: hmu if you need a new one Jai

Bird 2: thank you spreen 🫶🫶🫶

Bear: anytime jaiden 🫶

———

cellbo @thearchivistoffear 🔒

IM GONNA KISS HIM ON THE MOUTH ROUGHLY

 

SLIMMEEE??? @JORTSTORM 🔒

Damn bro just say you hate me and want me to kms

 

cellbo @thearchivistoffear 🔒

????? what

 

SLIMMEEE??? @JORTSTORM 🔒

I feel single

 

cellbo @thearchivistoffear 🔒

I’m still single???

 

SLIMMEEE??? @JORTSTORM 🔒

Tell ur bf to set me up with mari

 

cellbo @thearchivistoffear 🔒

🤔🤔🤔🤔 maybe,,,,,,