Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tachibana Makoto looked at himself in the mirror.

He felt utterly horrible. Disgusting, filthy, gross – like a whore. A cheap whore at that. He wasn't even getting paid for this. God, he wished he was getting paid for this. Maybe it would make him feel better, maybe even help him sleep at night. If this somehow wasn't completely done by his own choice, if there were other uncontrollable reasons as to why he had done this it would be better.

Instead he had willingly betrayed Haru.

In what way Makoto had betrayed him, he has yet to actually figure that out.

But the feeling of guilt just kept eating at him – kept coiling around his heart every time he saw the dark haired, blue eyed man. It got stuck in his throat, covered his tongue, and numbed his fingertips. Guilt was in every action he took towards Haru because there was no good reason for Makoto to have done this to him. The man he was head over heels in love with, his childhood best friend, the one who he would fall for over and over again. The same man that had left him for Rin.

Just thinking about their other maroon haired childhood friend made Makoto sick to his stomach. It made him think about every time Haru had shown up at his dorm room crying over him. Having to hear all the pain and frustration that Haru was going through and not being able to do anything about it, not being able to reach out and touch him, comfort him in the real way he wanted to was torture. He wanted to do more for Haru than just movies and junk food and trips to the beach.

He wanted to hold him, wrap him up in his arms to keep him safe. Wanted to softly reach out and wipe away his friend’s tears and leave kisses on his cheeks. Selfishly, he wanted to tell Haru how he felt, how he was so much better for him than Rin, and that he’s been in love with him for years. He was infatuated with Haru just as much as Haru was infatuated with water.

But when Haru came to him last Saturday afternoon, all sparkly eyed and soft smiles, Makoto felt a sinking feeling deep in his stomach. It hadn’t taken much effort to make him talk – something that unnerved Makoto even more – and Haru confessed that Rin was finally coming to visit Tokyo in hopes of really working through their current relationship issues.

And then he asked Makoto to tag along with them for lunch.

Makoto had sat there at the table of their favorite coffee shop, in their favorite seats – ones near the window so Haru could people watch and imagine that the ocean wasn’t so far away – and stared at Haru. This was the first time Makoto had seen Haru this happy in weeks. He should have been happy too. Should have congratulated him and Rin on being mature adults and working things out. He should have simply turned down the offer respectfully and gone about his day. He should have done a lot of things. But getting up abruptly and leaving the coffee shop without even saying a word was not what he should have done.

That sinking feeling in his stomach had just expanded into a bottomless pit and swallowed him whole. Cored him out from the inside and made his heart squeeze painfully. Makoto had felt like he was suffocating. Like he was going to go into a panic attack at any moment and he did not want Haru and all of the other people in the coffee shop to see that.

So he had left.

He left and hasn’t said a word to Haru since then.

And now, staring at himself in someone else’s bathroom mirror a week later, he felt like an idiot. He had abandoned his best friend without saying anything to him, just left him confused, and has been ignoring all of his phone calls and text messages. He had been too busy … preoccupied … with other things. Said “other things” was still sleeping in bed, like he should be.

Makoto sighed to himself and ran cold water over his face to stop the flood of images from last night running through his head. The desperate kissing and stripping of clothes, the sweat and sounds of muscles moving together, the heat, the shaking, the fucking sounds Makoto had made. It replayed in his head like some sort of R-rated movie and made him embarrassed. But that feeling of disgust rose back up and overtook every other emotion at the moment.

He felt awful. The worst part was that Makoto knew Haru probably wouldn’t care but he still felt as if he ruined everything he could have had with Haru. It was ridiculous thinking that he could forever hold out for Haru, that one day Haru would see how Makoto felt and he could finally indulge. Or maybe Makoto would finally confess but that wasn’t going to happen. He knew this. Yet, Makoto still wanted to pretend that it could stay like this. That he could be happy just being friends with Haru.

But he was wrong. God, he was so wrong. The mere idea of having to sit with Haru and Rin and have lunch made him want to puke. Having to sit there and plaster on a fake smile while he watched the two of them hang all over each other would have been torture sure, but worse than that would be having to look at the sheer happiness on Haru’s face. Watching someone else put that spark in Haru’s eyes and give him the type of happiness that Makoto just can’t seem to provide him with would always hurt. And he tried to have a good attitude, really he did, but he just knew that this time he wouldn’t have been able to do it.

Makoto breathed out harshly and gripped at the sink tightly trying to distance his mind from the situation before he spiraled even more.

Suddenly, there were large muscular arms wrapping around his waist. Hands gently stroking at his sides, a chin resting on his shoulder, and Makoto goes rigid at the touch for a second. Glancing up in the mirror, teal eyes stared back at him.

“I called your name like five times Makoto,” Sousuke said, his voice thick with sleep. It sent a slight shiver through Makoto’s body.

He swallowed before answering, “Oh … sorry, I didn’t hear you,”

“Obviously,” Sousuke chuckled and pressed a kiss into the side of his neck.

Makoto lowered his eyes from Sousuke's in the mirror. He looked down at the sink, where his knuckles were turning white from how hard he was gripping it, and let himself ease up as he sighed. His thoughts were still all over the place but he couldn’t help relaxing into Sousuke’s touch.

After he had walked out on Haru he had ended up knocking on Sousuke’s door. Part of him was hoping Sousuke was home and the other part was hoping he wasn’t.

A few months after high school, Sousuke found out that Rin had been cheating on him with Haru and they had a huge fight that ultimately led to the end of their relationship. Rin decided to leave Tokyo for Australia while Sousuke stayed and just so happened to end up attending the same college as Makoto. So naturally, they ended up talking more often.

However, there was one topic they never breached – Haru. Neither man wanted to talk about it. Especially after Haru and Rin announced that they had officially started dating. Rin had come back to Tokyo for a while, his relationship with Haru going strong and their swimming matches growing even more intense. But due to both Rin and Haru being in Tokyo, Sousuke was almost never home. He said it was to avoid any unexpected visits but Makoto knew he just didn’t want to see Rin. Sousuke couldn’t stomach seeing Rin so happy and in love with someone else – a feeling Makoto knew all too well.

So when Sousuke had opened his apartment door a week ago, Makoto threw himself at the man. He couldn’t remember how long he had sobbed in Sousuke’s arms, blubbering on and on about Haru. About how much he loved him, how upset he was, and how lonely he felt. Makoto knew he should have shut up – Sousuke was probably the last person he should have cried to about Haru – but he couldn’t stop himself. There was something so comforting about Sousuke to Makoto. The man hadn’t said a word, yet he listened to Makoto ramble on and on and held him close and let him cry until it was dark.

It was only when Makoto was hiccupping and letting out little whimpers of pain that Sousuke finally did something. Just as Makoto opened his mouth Sousuke sealed his own over it. Instantly, Makoto had stopped crying. He was too shocked to do anything other than stare wide eyed at Sousuke.

Sousuke pulled away slowly, their lips making a soft pop as they parted. Makoto held his breath as he looked deep into teal eyes trying to figure out what was even happening. If Sousuke was feeling anything like regret it wasn’t showing on his face. He just stared back blankly and waited. A slow, confused blink had Makoto’s eyes refocusing. Had him realizing the position he was in – wrapped up tight in Sousuke’s embrace while looking up at him in a way that made him feel so small and warm and safe, and his lips were tingling from the kiss. The kiss that Makoto could not figure out for the life of him if it was good or bad or something else entirely. So he leaned forward and kissed Sousuke again.

And again.

And again.

And again, until everything became a blur.

They’ve had sex so many times, Makoto practically lives in Sousuke’s apartment and it’s only been a week. A whole week since Makoto started having sex with Sousuke and it was eating him alive. Every time Makoto saw Haru, he avoided him, ran in the opposite direction, because he couldn’t handle it. Even Rin had tried to corner  him. Yet, he always found some excuse and wiggled his way out of any sort of meaningful conversation until they finally left him alone. Just so he could end up at Sousuke’s place every night.

He would come knocking on the door and greet Sousuke with a soft smile as he let him in, only to be pushed up against the closed door and stripped the second he stepped a foot inside. So yeah, Makoto felt a bit like a whore.

Sousuke and himself had only been real friends for a few months now and suddenly they were also now friends with benefits. They were fucking – no love making and sweet words, just pure raw need and lust. Sex just to take off the edge, melt away the stress, distract Makoto from his very pressing problems and it should be weird. It should be awkward. Makoto should be feeling some type of way because of this, some sort of strain on their friendship, and he did in a way. But not nearly as much as he thought he should. Instead he felt something even more stupid – a clingy feeling of being wanted. And that, that was never in the plan.

No, the plan was Haru.

All the hours Makoto had spent daydreaming of homemade dinners and romantic candle light were with Haru. He had pictured the two of them laying on a blanket, back in the countryside, gazing up at the stars. He imagined looking over at Haru and seeing the stars reflected in his eyes and having the privilege to lean over and kiss him. To steal his breath away and slowly make the world around them melt.

He thought of coming home to a small apartment after a long day of classes and seeing Haru already home. Maybe he would be cooking something and Makoto could slide behind him, wrap his arms around his waist and kiss Haru’s neck softly. Then later he would lay down with Haru in their bed and make love to him. It was supposed to be domestic bliss with Haru that overflowed his thoughts so much he was practically drowning in them. His thoughts were still full of Haru and their happy life together, which is what made his time with Sousuke so difficult. It was wrong. He wanted Haru.

Makoto didn’t hear the slight whimper that came out of his mouth, or how he had started to bite his lip in order to keep himself from crying, or how Sousuke had sighed and withdrew from him just a little bit.

“You’re thinking about Nanase again, aren’t you?”

Makoto winced at Sousuke’s harsh tone, at the way Haru’s name came out of his mouth – like he was a disease.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“No, you’re fine. I mean, Rin couldn’t stop thinking about him either. It’s all the fucking same,” Sousuke grit out, pulling away completely from Makoto.

“Sousuke,” Makoto calls after his retreating form. He feels cold without the man's arms around him.

With a sigh, Makoto follows after Sousuke. He knows how much of a touchy subject Haru was to Sousuke, but he didn’t quite get why he hated him so much in the context of him thinking about Haru. It was one thing for Rin to think about Haru, but for Makoto? Other than the basic principal of not wanting to hear the guy your fucking talk about another man – which he didn’t do for very obvious reasons – Makoto didn’t get why Sousuke was so bother by him thinking of Haru. It’s not like they were together.

Makoto watched the dark haired man enter the kitchen and start making breakfast for the two of them. Makoto’s favorite breakfast. Something that he'd never even told Sousuke about and yet he had somehow figured it out within a week.

He tilted his head a little as he watched Sousuke work, a thought slowly starting to form in his head.

“Sousuke, what was that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Sousuke huffed, “I just don’t see what the big fucking deal is about Nanase,”

Makoto stayed silent for a while, much to Sousuke’s liking. He wasn’t sure how to take the comment Sousuke had just made about his childhood friend, but there was something deeper. Something in the way that he said it made Makoto start to wonder if the thought he was having was actually right.

“... Sousuke?”

“What?”

“Do you…,” Makoto didn’t know how to phrase this without getting embarrassed, his cheeks already turning pink, “Do you like me?”

Sousuke tensed for a moment. Silence blanketed the entire room and that was all the answer Makoto needed.

He opens his mouth to speak but Sousuke is already talking, “Don’t say anything!” Makoto closes his mouth. There’s a heavy sigh from Sousuke as he runs a hand through his hair, “Look, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about the … the sex. It’s just, every time you show up I forget because I can’t stop touching you. God, what the fuck is wrong with me!?”

Makoto frowned, his eyebrows pinching together, “What about the sex?”

Sousuke turned around to face Makoto. He knew it was a mistake as soon as he did though. That confused little puppy dog expression on Makoto’s way too caring face made everything harder to say. His bottom lip jutting out just slightly and his doe green eyes filled with concern and anxiety were too fucking much for Sousuke.

And it wasn’t just his facial expression. It was the bedhead and the thin rimmed square glasses that sat upon his nose – a habit of Makoto’s to wear them too often even though he only needed them for reading. It was the way he was standing in Sousuke’s kitchen in nothing but his underwear, tan skin and rippling muscles on display alongside the red scratches and bites marks from their fucking. It was how Makoto held himself like he was tiny, fidgeting in place and all soft, shy edges, when he was just as tall and just as wide as Sousuke. And it was the way that all of those things combined set Sousuke on fire in a way that he hadn’t felt since he first started dating Rin. A different type of fire, something tamed and gentle, but it still gave him that same feeling of being alive and not having to pretend.

Sousuke gulped – this was getting out of hand.

“I think we should stop having sex for a little bit. I don’t think it’s doing either of us any good,” Sousuke said, avoiding Makoto’s eyes.

Makoto’s frown deepened, “You want to stop having sex?”

“Yeah … just for a little bit. It’s obvious that this is tearing you apart and I have some things I should probably think about,” Sousuke really wasn’t in the mood to talk about this. He hadn’t even wanted to bring this up right now, but he had so now he has to deal with it. He hadn’t even meant to sound so upset about Makoto thinking about Haru – he shouldn’t fucking care. But that was the thing, he did care and he wasupset.

Sousuke hated the fact that every time they had sex Makoto would wake up and seemingly regret everything. He would beat himself up about it and feel bad for doing this to Haru.

Haru, who probably wouldn’t even care about Makoto fucking Sousuke. Haru, who was dating Rin – Sousuke’s Rin. Haru, who didn’t give a fuck about messing up other people’s relationships. Fucking Haru, who would never know just how much Makoto cares for and loves him. It made Sousuke sick.

It made Sousuke want to keep Makoto. He wanted to tuck Makoto away and cherish him like he deserved. Wanted to stop him from feeling this hurt every morning. And Sousuke didn’t know how to feel about that. He didn’t want to feel anything about this, he really shouldn’t feel anything towards Makoto in the first place. The most he should have felt towards Makoto was slight annoyance simply because he was the best friend of the person that destroyed his relationship. But no, he had befriended Makoto. He got so close to him that now they’re fucking and he’s developing fucking feelings.

Makoto had moved closer, crowded into Sousuke’s space so he was right in front of him staring into his eyes.

“Sousuke,” Makoto said softly. Sousuke felt his breath hitch. He hated the way Makoto said his name. Every time he said it it gave him chills. He could only cross his fingers and hope that Makoto didn’t notice.

Makoto noticed. He noticed the way Sousuke’s breaths grew heavier when he leaned in closer. Saw the way his eyes traveled down to Makoto’s lips – Makoto almost groaned at the way Sousuke unconsciously licked his own lips in response. And now he fully understood why he kept apologizing to Haru in his head.

This was an addiction. A drug he kept coming back to called Sousuke.

Just the thought of not being able to fool around, of Sousuke not wanting to fool around anymore, had Makoto feeling a little stir crazy. Not being able to touch Sousuke, to feel his warmth and be in his personal space? Not being able to smell his cologne all over the sheets and seeping into his clothes? Not being able to eat his cooking after going round after round all night? Makoto hated that. He didn’t want that. In a week, Makoto had become so comfortable with coming over to Sousuke’s and then waking up with him in the mornings. Even if he did feel bad for doing so, he strangely even felt comfortable feeling like that. It was a routine.

And taking away that routine, giving him a little notice that his drug was being discontinued just like that, was frightening.

Sousuke closed the gap between their lips, swallowing up the small gasp Makoto let out. His arms wrapped around Makoto’s waist like he owned it and pulled him in closer making Makoto melt immediately. They let their lips slot together like puzzle pieces and moaned at each other’s taste. It felt like Makoto was on fire. Everywhere Sousuke’s fingers touched burned and his mouth was the hottest place.

Makoto leaned into Sousuke. Rested his weight on him and slid his tongue into the kiss because it just wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to just kiss him, he needed to be so close to him they became one because god did Sousuke taste good. There was nothing else Makoto could even think of at the moment that wasn't just Sousuke. All he could hear was his heart pounding in his chest and the wet slick sounds of their mouths moving.

He tried – fuck, he really did try – to not like this so much. To not crave this so deeply, but it was useless. When Sousuke bites his lip and slides a hand up to the back of his neck Makoto moans and feels so fucking alive.

The sound drives Sousuke to force it out of Makoto's mouth again and again. He could drown in that noise – loves it so much it makes him delirious. And for a moment Sousuke thinks about taking back what he said. He didn’t want to stop doing this. He didn’t want to give this up. But he knew he should. He needs to give Makoto and himself some space to process because shit, this was all moving too fast.

Sousuke breaks their kiss. Trails his lips down Makoto’s jaw and neck, leaving soft kisses along the way, until he finds the spot that made Makoto’s breath hitch and bites down. Makoto shudders against him, fingers twisting tight in Sousuke’s hair, as he groans. Sousuke sucks a deep hickey, makes sure to leave the indent of his teeth, before he lets his gaze fall upon Makoto again.

Fuck, Makoto looks like a dream. Cheeks red and mouth wet and that begging look in his eyes. If Sousuke was a weaker man he really would have gone back on his word right then. Would have turned Makoto around, pinned him to the counters, and taken him right there. But he steadied himself and instead nipped at Makoto’s ear.

“I’m gonna make us breakfast, we’re gonna eat, and then you’re going to leave, okay?” Sousuke said slowly.

Makoto’s heart sank. Sousuke was kicking him out, he didn’t want him there anymore, he didn’t want him. Makoto tried to swallow down the painful whimper stuck in his throat. He tried to hide the hurt on his face when he nodded his head and pulled away from him. He walked back to the bathroom to actually get himself cleaned up and didn’t look back at Sousuke.

He couldn’t stomach the rejection.

Chapter Text

“Makoto~”

Makoto jumped at the sound of his name but didn’t get a chance to register anything as he was nearly knocked down by the force of the person running into him.

“Kise,” Makoto huffed out as he struggled to stay upright while Kise hugged him. He beamed down a smile at Makoto not caring about the dramatic display he was making.

“Makoto~ What are you doing here?” Kise asked.

Makoto gave a small smile. Despite having just left Sousuke’s place less than an hour ago, the pain he had been feeling was being soothed a bit by Kise’s presence. The blonds high energy reminded him a lot of Nagisa so having something familiar felt nice at the moment. He needed something familiar that wasn’t Sousuke or Haru.

“I could ask the same for you. Do you have a photoshoot near here today?”

Kise untangled himself from Makoto and nodded his head, “Yep, and then I’ve got practice afterwards,”

The two started to walk towards their usual coffee shop hang out. Even though Makoto just had a cup of coffee he still felt dead on his feet.

“Sounds like a busy day for you,”

Kise pouted, making his pretty face all the more attractive, “Very busy. Also I keep telling you it’s fine for you to call me Ryota!”

Makoto giggled at his dramatics, “Yes, yes, sorry Ryo! I’ll try to remember!” He spent the rest of their walk listening to Kise whine about his schedule until they finally arrived at the little coffee shop.

The shop was warm and cozy inside and they were immediately greeted by the current barista, their friend and Makoto’s classmate, Teppei. It was always kind of cute watching Teppei with his broad shoulders and towering height walk around in a much too small apron making foam art on peoples coffees. It matched him in a way, Teppei was really just a big softie. A gentle giant despite the way he stood firm on the basketball court.

A few minutes after they sat down Teppei brought them their usual drinks and sat down with them.

“Ah~ So tired,” Teppei cried as he deflated against the table.

“Aww, you poor thing,” Kise cooed while he ran his fingers through his hair. Makoto took a sip from his drink and sighed in relief as he felt the caffeine hit hard.

“Don’t let Hyuga hear you say that, or Aida for that matter,” Makoto gently scolded Teppei.

Teppei groaned in response and batted Kise’s hands away from his hair as the man started trying to braid it. Makoto gave a small laugh and went back to sipping his coffee. His mind started to wonder, pulling him back to eating breakfast with Sousuke. They had been rather normal despite everything, laughing at the TV and putting up the dishes together. And then when it was finally time to leave Sousuke had kissed him one last time – a goodbye kiss that still lingered on Makoto’s lips and left him wanting. With no indication of how long this break would last, Makoto already felt the withdrawal symptoms coming out as he tried to go over the way Sousuke’s lips felt on his over and over again.

Truly, Sousuke was a drug.

Already Makoto missed the way Sousuke held him. Missed the way they would kiss until Makoto was running out the door to get to class on time. The little giggles and grins that followed Makoto to the door where Sousuke would keep him caged for just a little while longer. It made Makoto’s stomach flip as he thought fondly about those moments. Those kisses weren't full of the usual burning passion and heat of when they fucked. They were softer, healing in a way. They were the same type of kisses that Sousuke used to shut him up when he started to get too in his head. The ones that he used to make Makoto feel better in the morning when he woke up and hated himself.

God, he really didn’t like waking up like that. He didn’t want to feel guilty over sleeping with Sousuke, but it wasn’t like he wanted to stop everything just because of that. Maybe Sousuke was right for making them stop messing around but it feels so wrong already.

“Ah, I think we lost Makoto to Haru land again,” Kise giggled, Teppei laughing along with him.

And there it was, the source of the problem, Haru. 

Because in Makoto’s mind it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that Rin could so easily start dating Haru while he has spent years of his life learning every little thing and falling so deeply in love with Haru. That he had taken the time to get to know Haru better than anyone else, better than even Haru himself sometimes, and had gotten exactly nowhere. Was it because Rin just came in and took what he wanted regardless of anyone else’s feelings? Was it because he had swooped in and saved Haru when he and Makoto had their fight? Even though it was Makoto that had called Rin and asked him to talk to Haru, he hadn’t expected them to just go away to Australia! Was that that moment that everything changed? Had Makoto dug himself into a hole and given Rin an opening?

Makoto frowned at his own thoughts and set down his coffee cup with a sigh.

“Ryota, you know that Haru is dating Rin,”

Kise rolled his eyes and waved a hand at the statement as if Rin being Haru’s boyfriend was unimportant, “Yeah, yeah whatever. But you didn’t deny that you were thinking about Haru~”

“Um,” Makoto felt his ears start to heat up a little, “I wasn’t really thinking about Haru actually…”

Kise and Teppei exchanged a look before turning their eyes on Makoto. He tried to avoid their stares by looking down into his halfway empty cup. Despite both of them being younger than Makoto they were quite intimidating. Makoto chanced a peek up at them and saw Teppei tilting his head in question before he focused on his coffee again. Wow, what a lovely color. It looks very similar to chocolate, Makoto thought. Maybe it was a sign that he should go pick some up later.

“Well, he’s not lying,” Teppei said, making Makoto jump slightly.

Kise nodded his head in agreement, “Mhm, yeah, it’s pretty easy to tell when he’s lying,”

“So Makoto, who were you thinking about then?” Teppei pressed.

Makoto fiddled with his napkin on the table and quietly muttered out the answer.

“What was that?”

“I said Sousuke,” Makoto sighed out.

Teppei reacted instantly, “Sousuke!? Yamazaki Sousuke? The guy in our English class and Rin’s ex-boyfriend?” Makoto nodded his head shyly.

“Who?”

Makoto pulled out his phone to pull up a picture of Sousuke.

“Why do you have–” Teppei started to ask but was cut off by Kise nearly choking when Makoto handed him his phone.

“Fuck, he’s hot,”

“I’m telling Kasamatsu you said that,” Teppei smirked.

Kise gave a dismissive huff, “Yukio’s not stupid enough to fall for that. He knows I’m not leaving him. Besides I literally do modeling – I’m around good looking guys all the time,”

“Sure, sure,”

Kise narrowed his eyes at Teppei, “Do you want me to go get your partners?”

Teppei shook his head, “No, no, no, it’s fine! Anyways, Makoto, how did this happen? I mean, I know that you two knew each other in high school and have recently become acquainted but I thought things would have been … awkward. With you being Haru’s best friend I figure it would be difficult for Sousuke,”

Makoto pressed his lips together. He wanted to tell them everything, he should tell them everything – they were his friends after all. It’s not like he had a particular reason to not tell them. They cared about him and were probably just worried, or curious maybe, but either way Makoto felt safe to tell them what had been going on and that they would be able to understand.

He straightened himself up, took a deep breath, and looked towards his friends, “Well, we don’t talk about Haru much. Truthfully, I try to avoid talking about him around Sousuke. But last week, Haru said that Rin was coming back to visit and that he wanted me to come with them to lunch. It upset me more than usual and I ran out on him. I haven’t talked to him since which just feels weird, but I’ve been preoccupied by someone else. That someone else being Sousuke. We also might have … done it, a few times now,” Makoto finished, cheeks turning pink and eyes shifting away from Kise and Teppei.

It was silent as the two processed what Makoto had told them, and Makoto waited for the other shoe to drop. He waited for Kise to gasp and ask why he had sex with someone that wasn’t Haru – not that he has even had sex with Haru like Kise seems to think. He waited for Teppei to scold him or call him disgusting, but neither of them did that.

Instead there was a warm hand landing on his shoulder as Teppei gave him a fond smile. Kise slid over to Makoto’s side of the table and hugged him tightly.

“It’s okay Makoto,” Kise said lightly.

It was like they knew what Makoto had been thinking in his head this whole time – that he was a slut and a whore and generally not a good person anymore because of this. It was as if they knew he had been thinking that and were telling him that he was wrong. That he was perfectly normal and that having sex with someone other than Haru didn’t make him a bad person – no matter how much Makoto hated himself afterwards. It was okay.

“I’m sure you’ve been filling up your head with nonsense,” Teppei started, “But it’s fine Makoto. You and Haru aren’t together so you’ve done nothing wrong by sleeping with Sousuke. Even if you love Haru, you still have needs and it’s not like you can just ask him. Still, you probably shouldn’t be ghosting him like this. I’m sure he’s extremely worried about you. Not saying you should talk to him right this second, but soon. If you explain yourself it might make you feel better and Haru will understand why you don’t feel comfortable being around him and Rin,”

“Yeah, I’m sure Haru will get it once you tell him how you feel. I can be there too if you want! Well, if it’s not interfering with my schedule … But I'll try to be there to support you!” Kise chimed in, still clinging on to Makoto.

That made Makoto chuckle a bit and he shook his head. His hands came up to cover his rapidly reddening face.

“I’m the oldest one here, why are you guys comforting me? This is so embarrassing,” Makoto whined.

Kise and Teppei laughed and they all were able to finally relax and chat about other things. After a while of talking Teppei offered to walk Makoto back to campus. He had a class soon anyways, so once they reached campus they parted ways and Makoto made his way back to his dorm room. He had been lucky enough to get a room to himself this semester, but right now the thought of sitting in silence made his skin crawl. He tried to distract himself until his class started by cleaning up the place and working on homework.

He thought his brain would never shut up about contacting Haru and talking to him but eventually it was time for class and Makoto had never been happier to be in a lecture. Once he was zoned in on school work the rest of the day seemed to pass by smoothly. He bumped into Sousuke in the hallway and gave a polite greeting before quickly walking away. Sousuke didn’t seem that responsive to the interaction and Makoto didn’t know how to feel about it.

Later he grabbed some Maji Burger with Teppei and finally dived deeper into the details of his situation with Sousuke. It wasn’t as if Makoto wasn’t comfortable divulging the information to Kise but he was just a bit closer to Teppei. He had met Kise through Teppei when they ran into each other at the coffee shop and had gotten along well. It also helped that Kise reminded him a lot of Nagisa. Still, Makoto felt a bit more comfortable confiding in Teppei.

They went back to campus afterwards, Makoto dropping off Teppei at his room before heading to his.

Makoto sighed to himself as he walked. He knew that he should call Haru soon. Despite the good distraction that school work and hanging out with his friends provided, in those few moments of silence the thought popped up in his head. Nagging at him. Maybe he would try it tomorrow, since it’ll be Sunday and he didn’t have any classes. He wanted to give himself a moment to prepare. To gather his thoughts, otherwise he’d just be all over the place. Makoto could never just talk to Haru about something important without a plan – it never really ended well if he didn’t.

But this was a confession. A full fledged, “I’ve been in love with you my entire life,” type of confession. The whole, we lived next door to each other and I can tell what you need in one glance, and we can have silent conversations, and I’ve spent every second thinking about you and if you’re okay, type of confession. It was more than a confession at this point. It was Makoto opening himself up and displaying his whole heart just to get shot down, because ultimately, Makoto knew he would be shut down. He knew that Haru would choose Rin over him. 

And that’s what hurt the most.

Well now I’m just depressed, Makoto thought to himself. It wasn’t often that Makoto tried to actually think about his feelings for Haru so much. They were just there and he didn’t try to stop them or change them, but now that he realized that he needed to tell Haru about these feelings he couldn’t put them into words. Words weren’t capable of saying what all those longing glances, little smiles, concerned looks, and desperate cries meant. He couldn’t just say that he loved Haru. No, he had to find it within himself to understand that he felt like he was bonded with Haru in some way. Like there was some invisible string keeping him attached to Haru.

And God, did Makoto never want to leave. He wanted to be attached to Haru. It was all he wanted. He wanted Haru. Just Haru. Wanted Haru to want him too. And it hurts. 

Just as Makoto rounded the corner into the hallway for his room he froze.

Sitting on the floor next to his door was Haru. And he had noticed Makoto coming down the hall. He turned to look at him and as soon as those ocean blue eyes looked at Makoto, he felt all the breath leave his lungs.

So many thoughts, too many thoughts, ran through his head. Haru looked beautiful, he was perfect, amazing, wonderful, cute, sexy, funny, intelligent, his. But the thoughts screaming at him were that he’s tired and sad. He’s in pain. Why is he in pain? Who had hurt him? What had they done?

Haru stood up as Makoto approached the door. He was wearing a grey hoodie to hide the mess that was his hair and dark circles were present under his eyes that were slightly red. He sniffled a bit before speaking.

“Makoto,”

“Haru,”

“Can I come in?” Haru asked softly. He wasn’t looking at Makoto.

Makoto frowned but opened his door. He put his stuff down while Haru sat down on Makoto’s bed. He still hadn’t looked at Makoto and it was making him feel uneasy. Makoto slowly sat down in his desk chair across from Haru and tried not to stare too hard at his best friend.

This was not going to plan – not that Makoto had gotten far enough into a plan in the first place. But this was at least supposed to happen tomorrow. After Makoto had pulled himself together and mentally prepared for the rejection. But maybe this was a sign. That he should just rip the band aid off and get it over with.

He cleared his throat lightly, getting Haru’s attention, “So …”

“I broke up with Rin,” Haru said looking down at the bed.

Makoto blinked. He almost wanted to say, "Again?" but he thought twice.

“You mean you guys have taken a break? Is Rin going back to Australia?”

“No,” finally Haru looked up at Makoto, “I mean we broke up for good, probably …”

On impulse, Makoto almost slapped himself. Maybe he was more tired than he thought he was. He couldn’t have heard that right. Had he already passed out and was now dreaming?

“Oh …”

“Can I stay here tonight?” Haru asked.

Makoto pulled himself together. The initial surprise having worn off as he really took in the fact that Haru was hurting. He just needed to act like he normally did. They could talk about the mess that was last week later. Right now Haru needed him.

“Of course you can! But uh … I only have one bed,” Makoto blushed.

Haru looked at the bed and then back to Makoto, “I don’t mind,”

Makoto blushed further, “O-Okay,”

The two boys got ready for bed. Haru opting to sleep in the swimsuit he was wearing under his pants and the hoodie he had on. Makoto pulled off his top for a fresh one and some sweatpants before sliding into the bed. He made sure there was enough room for Haru even though Haru didn’t seem to care. They laid there awkwardly, trying to stay in their own personal space. Makoto knew he wasn’t going to be able to sleep until Haru was, so he just stared up at the ceiling and fidgeted with the bottom of his shirt.

“Makoto … ?”

“Yeah?”

“I missed you,”

Makoto was pretty sure his brain stopped functioning by now. He could feel his face heating up and the hammering of his heart in his chest had turned violent. He could barely think, much less respond to that. Haru never really said those types of things out loud. It was always through looks and silent conversation. He never just directly stated his own feelings. It had taken Makoto ages just to get Haru to admit to him that he liked Rin, or to even talk about the possibility really. 

It wasn’t Makoto’s favorite conversation, but it was his duty as Haru’s best friend to help him with that type of stuff. And once Haru did open up, it was a lot. A lot of confusion and happiness and anger and sadness. And every time Haru and Rin fought, it was Makoto who was picking up Haru. Encouraging him to work it out if he could and that everything would be okay.

“I … um,” Makoto wasn’t exactly sure what he should say, “Sorry I ran out on you last week. I missed you too,”

“... Why did you run?” Haru asked after a beat of silence.

Makoto sighed. Just rip the band aid off Makoto, you can do it! He tried to talk himself into answering the question. He knew that one way or another he would have to respond. He couldn’t exactly run away now and he certainly wouldn’t kick Haru out, especially since he was obviously distraught over his break up with Rin.

“I um, I kind of just–”

“If you didn’t want to come you could have just said so,” Haru interrupted Makoto.

Makoto didn’t like the way Haru’s tone was so distant and sad, “It’s not that. Of course I would have enjoyed lunch with you and Rin. It's just … complicated. Well, not exactly. It’s more like I’m making it complicated. But I mean, it’s not like the situation is getting any better–”

“You’re rambling Makoto,” Haru stopped him. Makoto closed his mouth and realized that he had started to talk in circles as a bit of an anxious habit.

“Sorry. It’s just a lot harder to say this than I thought it would be. I … I ran because I didn’t want to see you and Rin together. I … I like you a lot Haru,” Makoto felt his throat closing around his next words, “I love you. I love you so much Haru and I guess I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I was really upset at the thought of having to smile and say that I would be fine with watching you two this time. Because I’m not. It really hurts seeing you with Rin,”

He cringed a little internally at how awkward that confession felt. But after a beat, Makoto finally realized that he actually confessed to Haru. And Haru hasn’t said anything in response. Panic started to course through his body. Oh god, what had he just done? Surely Makoto has ruined their friendship and at any moment now Haru is going to reject him and walk out of his life forever. Or maybe Rin was going to pop out of his closet with a camera and laugh at him for being such an idiot and tell him that he and Haru were still together. Or maybe Haru just fell asleep and didn’t hear any of that.

Makoto wanted to peep over at Haru and see if he was still awake, but he also didn’t want to look on the off chance that Haru was looking at him. That he was looking at him with disgust. But Makoto finally got his answer when Haru rolled his body over to actually look at his childhood best friend.

Haru couldn’t see very well in the dark of the room but he could just make out the look of panic on Makoto’s face. And while Makoto was trembling in nervousness, Haru’s brain was finally piecing together everything.

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to just spring that on you. Especially since you just broke up with Rin. I just wanted to explain myself and I get it, you probably don’t want to talk to me anymore. You probably think I was trying to make a move on you and that I’m disgusting and weird and–”

“Makoto!” Haru said sharply, hands coming up to Makoto’s cheeks and forcing him to meet his eyes. “It’s okay! It’s okay, it makes sense,” He said a lot softer now that Makoto was looking at him and not through him.

“Huh?”

Haru’s lips twitched into a small smile. “I said it makes sense. You’re my best friend, but you’ve also been a little more than that. You’re special Makoto. When you left, I … I was really upset. The lunch with Rin just ended up with him repeatedly trying to get my attention and being frustrated when he couldn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking about you because I was worried,”

Makoto felt himself shrink. He pulled away from Haru’s hands and buried his face in his own, “Oh god, I caused you guys to break up didn’t I? Sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mess things up!” Tears started to well up in Makoto’s eyes.

Haru made a small sigh and fully sat up before crawling on top of Makoto. He straddled Makoto’s waist and grabbed at his wrists to pull his hands away from his face. Little tears had gathered in the corner of Makoto’s eyes and something twisted in Haru’s gut. He had never seen Makoto like this. Haru knew that Makoto had the tendency to be anxious and blame a lot of things on himself, but he had never seen Makoto seem so broken. He looked like he was falling apart – like something was eating at him.

“Makoto, stop it!” Haru spoke forcefully. Makoto’s boy went stiff and a small sniffle followed after, “Nothing was your fault Makoto. I wanted to break up with Rin anyway. His whole ‘pay attention to me’ thing at lunch just kind of pushed me over the line. So it wasn’t your fault Makoto. You’re not weird or disgusting. I don’t understand why you would think that. You didn’t mess anything up because I’m always going to be here with you. Standing next to you. Just like you’re always going to be right here next to me, right?”

Makoto nodded his head.

In the back of his head his brain was screaming about how much and how easily Haru was expressing himself right now. How he was opening himself up to Makoto in this way and comforting him instead of the other way around. Makoto was feeling a little pathetic having a melt down like this, but everything was put to a screeching halt in his brain when he focused on Haru’s position.

Haru was straddling him. He was straddling him and pressing his hands into the bed. He was looking down at Makoto with those beautiful, breathtaking blue eyes that seemed to shine perfectly in the dark and keep Makoto captive. Makoto was pretty sure he was breathing but he couldn’t really tell. Haru’s face was just too close to his.

Just earlier today Makoto was at Sousuke’s place thinking that Haru would never forgive him and now they were like this. It was something straight out of Makoto’s dreams. His dreams where he was with Haru and nothing had ever happened with Sousuke.

Nothing else matters at the moment except for Haru. Haru, who was lulling him in just like a siren. But Makoto didn’t care, he wanted Haru to take him. Want to be with him for as long as he would have him. He wanted to date Haru and be able to tell him that he loved him every single second of the day. Wanted to come home to him and raise a family some day – he wanted all of it.

“Haru … ?” It came out a lot breather than intended. The dark haired boy’s name left his lips in an effort to regain his footing, but Haru shushed him.

“Don’t,” was that last thing that Haru said before his lips touched Makoto’s.

Makoto felt like he was dying. He could barely breathe, but that was okay. It was okay because Haru’s lips were soft like rose petals and felt like gentle rain and the warmth of sunshine against his own. Everything felt amazing, like it had all locked into place. Makoto’s body had never felt so light and energized. Haru’s hands let up on Makoto’s wrists and instead came to caress his face. Makoto’s hands slowly, shyly, carefully, roamed over Haru’s skin. Ran over his muscles and the soft curves of his body. Ran through his hair and down the sides of his face.

It was all tender and slow touches that had Makoto shivering and sighing into the kiss. It was so beautiful and way too much for Makoto right now. He really was thinking about crying now – just from the sheer happiness he felt.

Here he was, not dreaming, but finally actually kissing Haru. It was better than anything he could have asked for or dreamed of. But there was a voice clawing at the back of his head – practically screaming – that something was wrong. That somehow this was wrong. So Makoto pulled back first. He broke the kiss and stared into Haru’s eyes as he caught his breath.

Makoto’s lips still tingled and his heart was racing and he wanted to kiss Haru again, but there was an itch under his skin.

“It’s late … we should sleep,” Makoto said lamely. He wasn’t sure what to say to stop this without sounding like an ass, “We can talk more in the morning?” Haru nodded his head, but didn’t move from his spot. In fact he just adjusted himself so that his head laid on Makoto’s chest. Makoto wrapped his arms around Haru and buried his face into soft black hair, taking in Haru’s scent, before falling asleep.

Chapter Text

Sousuke didn’t know what to do. He was conflicted. After Makoto had left his apartment yesterday morning, Sousuke just fell flat onto his bed, face down, for a while. He laid there in bed and buried his face in his dirty sheets, replaying the scenes from the night before over and over again in his head. For some reason he wanted to remember every single sound that had come out of Makoto. Wanted to remember those faces he had made – he wanted to remember everything. Everything.

Sousuke groaned into his bed and bit his lip thinking about it. God, Makoto had felt so good. Just the thoughts of their sex were making Sousuke flush red and made his stomach clinch in arousal. For someone who hadn’t been especially sexually active, Makoto was really erotic. But that wasn’t the only thing that popped into Sousuke’s head when he thought about Makoto. At least not anymore. Honestly, he still was trying to wrap his head around why he had even kissed Makoto the first time.

Maybe it had been a force of habit from doing the same thing with Rin so many times. Otherwise, Rin would just go on and on about little problems and fuss about things that Sousuke didn’t particularly care for and weren’t so important that he had to suck it up and actually pay attention. When he kissed Makoto it wasn’t because he wanted him to shut up – well, maybe a little bit – but it wasn’t out of annoyance. It was more of a plea than anything else. A plea for Makoto to stop being so hard on himself.

Sousuke hadn’t known Makoto that long but it was easy to pick up just how much he put others before himself. There was a whole wall of self hatred that Makoto had to dig through every morning and it was almost ridiculous to Sousuke. He had never met someone so kind, gentle, and caring. Seeing him breaking down and turning into a mess over fucking Nanase of all people made something painful twist in his heart. It made Sousuke want to keep Makoto wrapped up in a warm security blanket for the rest of his life.

He felt calm around Makoto, soothed by his presence, and not having him here now felt terrible. And then Makoto had to go and ask the question that Sousuke had been avoiding himself since this shit started.

“Do you like me?”  

The words haunted him. He had stayed silent and Makoto had taken that as a yes, but Sousuke still wasn’t quite sure. Wasn’t sure if he even wanted to unpack this because it’s still too fucking soon after Rin. But he knew he had feelings for Makoto, how could he not? Sex had never been just sex for Sousuke. It always hit too close to a vulnerable part of himself that he didn’t like. It’s why he didn’t do hook ups often.

If Sousuke had been drunk and it had only happened once, that would have been different. Sousuke wouldn’t have remembered everything with crystal clear vision. He wouldn’t have remembered what spot to hit that made Makoto turn into a puddle of mush and had him shaking uncontrollably. He wouldn’t remember the soft brushing of lips on skin, or what it was like waking up with Makoto in his bed every morning. If he had been drunk, this would have been a lot easier – and he probably wouldn’t have slept with Makoto again.

But he hadn’t been drunk. He had kissed Makoto fully sober and then fucked him fully sober. Repeatedly. Every fucking day for a week. Sometimes multiple times a day. And it was good. So goddamn good it drove him crazy. It was even better than sex with Rin, his first love. And it wasn’t just the sex, it was the little things in between.

When they were watching TV on the couch and eating take out. When they had laid in bed and just made out before Makoto had to go to class. The times when Makoto would stare wide eyed and watch Sousuke cook food, asking questions about what he was doing. Late night studying that was interrupted by bad jokes and lustful thoughts. Most of those thoughts had occurred when Makoto wore his glasses and left his pen cap stuck between his lips and Sousuke’s head was instantly filled with dirty thoughts. Then Makoto would look up at him and smile a little and fuck, that made Sousuke’s heart stutter in his chest.

This was terrible. Sousuke had it bad.

Sousuke sighed and shook his head. He didn’t have time to think about this. He was in class, he needed to pay attention. Never mind that he could barely remember what class he was in. Every time he looked down at the pen in his hand aimlessly writing things down, he thought about Makoto and his stupid tendencies. And he thought about those god forsaken lips. Thought about biting them, sinking his teeth into those perfect pale pink colored lips and tasting them. Feeling them trail down his neck, down his stomach, and then wrapping themselves around his di– Sousuke swallowed and shut down his thoughts immediately. He had to stop himself from thinking any further on that thought and pushed himself to actually pay attention to his class. 

The rest of the day seemed to hold nothing of interest. Except for when Sousuke bumped into Makoto and forced himself to not react. Forced himself to not say anything. He hated the way that Makoto’s eyes had filled with confusion but it was the only thing he could do or else he would have grabbed him and pulled him into the nearest secluded place and kissed him until they couldn’t breathe.

Even being alone by himself felt weird.

He kept expecting to hear his door knocked on or a text message, a phone call, anything that told him Makoto was just as desperate as he was. But he knew Makoto would never do that. He really shouldn’t expect him to. So, Sousuke needed to do what he did best – distance himself.

He didn’t like it. He never liked it. But it was easier to be a dick than be nice and get stepped on.

Sousuke tried not to think too hard on his dreaded walk towards his apartment. Thinking about Makoto meant that he was bound to feel bad about pushing him away. Thinking about Makoto also meant that he would start remembering how much Makoto spiraled every morning thinking about the actual man he was in love with. The same guy that stole Rin from him. And that was also another problem – Rin.

He had never wanted to break up with Rin. That was supposed to be the man he stayed with forever. But questions kept popping up in his head and pushing him over the edge. Why did Rin get so touchy around Nanase? Why did he seem so happy when Nanase was around? Why did he just fly off to fucking Australia with Nanase? He hadn’t even said anything about it to Sousuke! But the worst part was that Sousuke knew . He knew immediately that everything had broken down while they were alone in Australia. Rin and Haru had had sex – it was apparent in every way, shape, and form.

So when Rin returned Sousuke didn’t give him the niceties of a greeting kiss and a warm hug. Sousuke simply bent Rin over and angrily fucked him for hours on end. It was hardly even fucking for Sousuke. He felt absolutely nothing behind it. Just angrily thrusting into the maroon haired man below him. He couldn’t even care anymore. Maybe, somewhere deep down, he had known that it was over the moment Rin had gotten on that plane.

The whole time he couldn’t even touch Rin more than necessary. He didn’t kiss him, didn’t do any of the special tricks he had to make Rin melt for him, nothing. Sousuke had simply watched what felt like an out of body experience as Rin cried out in pleasure and wondered if he had sounded like this with Nanase too.

It took Sousuke three days to bring up the trip with Nanase. What started as a conversation ended as a screaming match. They didn’t talk about it again until after graduation. Those last three months of their relationship were the worst. Their relationship had always been a carefully stacked house of cards, one that Sousuke had willingly put in time and effort to make work because he loves that maroon haired idiot with his whole heart. But Rin on the other hand, was ever elusive. Going whichever way the wind blew and not bothering to keep Sousuke in the loop.

But Sousuke hadn’t minded it. He had thought that Rin loved him. Why else would Rin have let Sousuke take his virginity? Of course, they were younger then. It was their first year of high school when Sousuke was finally able to make a trip to Australia.

They had always talked about sex in hushed tones late at night. They had agreed to wanting someone special to be their first time and Rin had admitted he wanted Sousuke to do it. The confession had Sousuke’s whole face turning red and his body heated up with a rush of excitement. His little crush at the time tipped over into full blown love the moment Rin had said that – that Sousuke was someone special enough to him that he wanted him to take his virginity.

Rin had taught him about the things he had learned from some magazines his classmates had been showing off. Had snagged a copy himself and showed it to Sousuke and they had fumbled their way through their first time together. It was somewhere between the confession and the sex that Sousuke had actually recognized that he was in love with Rin. The sex had made him realize how pretty Rin was, made him crave the sounds he made. But it had been the confession that made him realize how he loved the way Rin got excited about things. How he would positively shine when he won something – even if it was just a simple game of rock-paper-scissors.

The rest of the trip to Australia had Sousuke falling further. His eyes opened to a new side of Rin or really just letting himself take joy in all the things Rin did. Sousuke let the need to be with Rin in a romantic sense grow rapidly.

When Sousuke had won their last race in middle school and won a wish from Rin, he hadn’t known what to request. But now, Sousuke had found a wish. That Rin would be with him and that they would start dating. Of course, he didn’t say that. It was too embarrassing to ask that as a wish from a silly bet. He wanted to properly confess, so he used his wish for something else and planned out a confession. A confession that led to them dating and the rest was history.

Sousuke sighed and shook his head as he fumbled with his keys and finally pushed open the door to his apartment. He was tired and hungry and wanted to sleep. He really should study and try to make sense out of whatever the hell he wrote down as notes. Maybe, if they were beyond help, he could track down someone from his class and borrow their notes. But nope, he just flopped down onto his bed like he had been this morning and groaned.

His sheets still smelled like Makoto and Sousuke buried his head into a pillow and inhaled. The scent instantly sent his thoughts into the gutter. He couldn’t help but think about all the things that had happened on this bed with Makoto. Mainly, his dick sinking into Makoto’s tight ass. Sousuke bit his lip and closed his eyes tight. It had been a while since Sousuke had had sex that had felt so good, or sex in general really after the breakup. Having so much of it for a week straight had been so satisfying, but it made Sousuke horny all the fucking time.

Any slightly provocative photo or word or thought or anything would set him off. It damn near felt like he was going through puberty all over again. Wanting to fuck anything with legs. Except, he didn’t want it to be just anyone anymore – he wanted it to be Makoto.

He wanted Makoto specifically. Wanted to run his hands through Makoto’s hair and pull at it. Wanted to press their lips together, wanted to leave bite marks and hickeys all over Makoto’s skin. He wanted to hear Makoto moaning his name and losing himself in pleasure as he drove his cock in and out of him. He needed to fuck Makoto in a teasing way, only giving him short, shallow thrusts until Makoto was squirming and pushing back against him. Until he was begging for Sousuke to go faster, harder, deeper, to not treat him like a “delicate fucking flower” – that one had made Sousuke nearly cum on the spot. Never would he have thought that sweet little Makoto would utter such filthy words but god did it turn him on.

Sousuke rolled his hips down against the bed and gasped at just how hard he was already. With a light groan he rolled over and stripped himself of his pants. Looking down, there was already a tent inside the tight fabric of his underwear and he rubbed his palm over top of it for relief. Already the texture of the fabric against his throbbing cock was heavenly.

The debate of jerking off to thoughts of Makoto was a very short lived one. He already knew he was going to do it, it just felt a little fucked up at the moment. But it wasn’t like he was going to stop.

His first thought is of Makoto leaving light kisses down his stomach, glasses still on, though he looked up at Sousuke from over top of the frames. The image made Sousuke’s abs clench and his breath hitch as his fingers trace along the waistband of his underwear. Makoto moved lower down, planting a kiss on each inner thigh before finally moving to where Sousuke needed him. He looked up at Sousuke and chuckled softly. Sousuke could almost feel his hands running through Makoto’s hair as he pulled his cock out and took it in his mouth.

“Fuck,” Sousuke groaned. His hand slipped beneath his boxers and wrapped firmly around his cock as he imagined the hot, wet, heat of Makoto’s mouth. A soft tongue gliding against the underside of Sousuke’s cock and flicking over the head. Cheeks hollowing in with each bob of Makoto’s head as he sucked down the dick presented to him.

Precum slicked up Sousuke’s hand and made every jerk of his hand up and down his cock smoother and faster.

Makoto had him on edge with his face flushed a pretty pink and lips wrapped firmly around him. The sloppy sounds of Makoto sucking on Sousuke’s dick, the hot puff of a breath from Makoto’s nose as he brought himself all the way down to the base, nose flush with Sousuke’s hips. God, he was so close already. He pictured cumming all over Makoto’s pretty face or deep in his mouth, but the Makoto in his fantasies wouldn’t let him cum this fast. Pulled off his cock right before he could cum.

Sousuke tightened his hand around his dick to stop the on coming orgasm. He panted in need, “Shit … Makoto please …”

But Makoto just laughed softly. It sent shivers up Sousuke’s spine and struck just a little bit of fear into him. Turned him on way too fucking much as Makoto simply readjusted himself so he was sitting on Sousuke’s waist. His cock sliding right in between Makoto’s ass.

It was getting hard to breathe but in his fantasy he lifted a hand up to thread through Makoto’s hair and pull him down into a kiss. It was sloppy and desperate and wet, but it was perfect. Just like every kiss he’s ever shared with Makoto. Their tongues rubbed against each other, little moans leaking from Makoto’s lips between the few seconds of parting when they tried to catch their breath. Sousuke felt Makoto’s hand reach behind him and grab at his cock, rocking his ass against it.

Sousuke smirked against his lips, “Come on baby. Put it in,”

Makoto whined and pulled back from the kiss a bit more to bite his lip. Let his eyes flutter closed when Sousuke’s lips and tongue started to trail open mouthed kisses up and down his neck. Sucked hickeys and bite marks into the soft skin so Makoto would let out those pretty moans. His hands would wrap around Makoto’s waist and feel how his muscles tensed and relaxed as he finally slid down onto Sousuke’s cock.

He wasted no time once Makoto bottomed out, pounded into him like a wild beast. Savored the feeling of Makoto’s hot, tight insides sucking him in like he belonged there. Reaching deep into Makoto and finding his prostate with practiced ease. He watched Makoto’s cheeks darken, his eyelids flutter, his soft, kiss swollen mouth part open as he moaned and gasped and tried to muffle it by biting his lips, and watched how Makoto would push back against Sousuke’s thrusts to get him in even deeper. All of it was a beautiful sight in his mind.

The hand stroking around Sousuke’s cock had synced up with his fantasy, pushing him towards that fast approaching edge once again.

“Sousuke!”

It was the abrupt moan of his name that had Sousuke crashing into his orgasm. Makoto was crying out his name, begging him for more and Sousuke’s vision was blurring over as he squeezed his eyes shut tight and felt that familiar tug in his stomach and his balls tightening.

“Sousuke, cum for me,”

And he did. The low groan mixed in with his panting and grunting as he came way too fucking hard. Possibly way too loudly as well but he didn’t care about that as his release finally hit him. The hot white ropes of cum that he imagined were filling Makoto splattered onto his chest. Sousuke milked every last drop he could get out of his cock before his body finally relaxed and left him spineless on his bed. His head spinning and legs trembling just a bit from the intensity of the orgasm.

After a minute Sousuke felt dirty. Something like shame coursed through him and he vaguely wondered if this is what Makoto felt like every morning they had woken up together. It felt a bit insulting in a way, he wasn’t the worst guy Makoto could have ended up next to. But maybe in Makoto’s head he was and that made Sousuke feel worse.

Or maybe it was just post-nut clarity being a bitch.

Sousuke looked down at the mess he had made and sighed. Out of all the people Sousuke could have chosen to start liking, it just had to be Makoto.

Eventually, Sousuke got up.

He took a shower, cleaned his sheets, made himself something to eat and started deciphering his notes. Thankfully, he had actually taken somewhat decent notes. He had just finished his homework when there was a knock at the door.

Sousuke froze. He didn’t want to get his hopes up that it was Makoto but he didn’t know who else would be stopping by at 11:30PM. Slowly – with his heart racing – he made his way to the door and tried to calm himself down. It was probably someone who got too drunk and got the wrong apartment.

When he opened the door, his hopes were immediately crushed. All that excitement that he had tried to desperately keep at bay was replaced with sadness and anger and confusion. What was he doing here? Those alluring red eyes looked at Sousuke with a neutral sort of look.

“Yo,”

“Rin,”

Rin fiddled with his cap and readjusted his backpack hanging off of his shoulder. God, Sousuke wished he hadn’t opened the door.

“Can I come in?” He asked.

Sousuke blinked, “Sure,”

Rin walked into the apartment and Sousuke felt his stomach churn. He didn’t like having Rin back in his apartment. It brought up too many memories as he watched Rin take off his shoes. Most of the memories were bad, but there were quite a few pleasant ones as well. Like their first kiss in this apartment. It had been the first type of romantic contact that they had had in a while, and damn the way they had made love that night. It almost made Sousuke want to cry – it did make Rin cry.

There was also the time when Rin broke the sink and Sousuke had woken up to Rin yelling profanities at the stupid thing. It was one of the funniest things Sousuke had ever seen. All the times they had cuddled or Sousuke had held Rin softly, had let him cry on him for seemingly no reason flooded his mind. It felt painful now, knowing that he had probably been crying over something to do with Nanase.

Seeing Rin back in his apartment, their apartment, was painful.

Like four hours ago Sousuke had been jerking off to Makoto, the last person he wanted to see right now was Rin. But it wasn’t like Sousuke would have known what to do if Makoto had been the one standing behind his door.

He follows Rin into the living room and they both awkwardly sit down on the couch. Nothing was said for a moment before Sousuke sighed.

“What are you doing here?”

“I … sorry,” Rin said quietly.

Sorry? He was sorry? Sousuke almost wanted to laugh. He knew Rin had many things to be sorry about but what he thought he was sorry for is another thing. Was he sorry for not putting effort into their relationship? For constantly being a pain in the ass? Making Sousuke feel inadequate next to Nanase even though he’s known him way longer? Going behind his back and cheating on him? Flying to fucking Australia without telling him and making him worried sick? Cheating on him with fucking Nanase Haruka? Lying to him? Breaking his heart? The list could go on and on. 

“What for?” Sousuke asked, slightly irritated.

Rin turned towards him, “Everything … the whole Haru situation. It was … I made a really big mistake, okay?” Sousuke could feel Rin’s tears before he ever saw them but he wasn’t playing this game.

“I’m not doing this Rin. If you’re here to plead with me it’s not fucking happening,”

“Just listen to me, please Sou,” Rin asked softly, reaching to grab at Sousuke’s arm but the dark haired man got up before he could.

“No Rin. I said I’m done. You and Nanase might break up and get back together every other month but we’re not gonna do that. I’m not doing that,” All he could feel was bitterness and anger. Letting Rin in was a bad idea.

Rin stood up with an exasperated sigh, “Listen to me damn it! Stop being so fucking stubborn and hear me out, okay!? I know what I did was wrong. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Sousuke let out a snort, “I’m not here to ask you to take me back, I know better than that. I just … I wanted to say that I was sorry, and … a-and I fucked up … I-I,” Rin choked on a sob.

For a moment Sousuke just watched Rin’s trembling form. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then ran his hand through his hair before wrapping his arms around Rin – against his better judgement. Rin immediately clung to Sousuke and buried himself in his ex-boyfriends warmth.

Sousuke rested his head on top of Rin’s, “You’re so fucking annoying. What’s wrong?”

Rin sniffled, “Haru b-broke up with m-me,”

There were many reactions that Sousuke had wanted to do at that moment. He wanted to shove Rin off of him and kick him out because why the fuck would anyone got to their ex and complain about the guy they cheated with dumping them? He also wanted to laugh and give a sarcastic comment about the fact that they break up all the time, but it didn’t sound like they had a hissy fit and broke up. It sounded like a real, actual break up this time. A meaner part of himself wanted to laugh and say I told you so and rub salt into the wound. But he did none of that. He simply held him.

As fucked up as it was, Sousuke felt himself falling backing into old habits as he lightly grabbed Rin’s chin and tilted his head up. Sousuke wiped off Rin’s tears and looked fondly at that gorgeous face. He could see Rin’s wet eyes light up a bit and Sousuke felt terrible. He felt horrible and was so, so confused.

He didn’t want to like Makoto, but he did. He didn’t want Rin here, but it was bringing the somewhat beautiful memory of their relationship back. Sousuke really wanted to try with Rin. He really did. Rin was the first boy, first man, first person, he had ever loved. Of course he would go through hell and back for him. But he hated being the only one trying.

Sousuke kissed the top of Rin’s head, “It’s okay Rin, you’ll get through this,” he consoled him. Rin’s pretty little lashes brushed against his cheeks as his eyes fluttered close. His cheeks became tinted with pink as he buried his face in Sousuke’s chest once again and sighed before breaking out into more hiccupping sobs.

Sousuke felt like he was ripping in half.

Chapter Text

Waking up to Haru was different from waking up with Sousuke. Firstly, Haru wasn’t in bed when Makoto woke up. In fact, he was just coming through the door with a grocery bag as Makoto finally let himself open his eyes. Second, the sheets didn’t smell like sex and Makoto didn’t feel like a horrible person. And thirdly, it was weird.

“Oh, did I wake you?” Haru asked softly as he put the bag down on the desk.

“No, no, I just woke up a minute before you came in,” Makoto replied, a soft blush forming on his cheeks.

Haru nodded his head, “Well I brought you some breakfast. Oh, and some chocolate for later!”

Makoto sat up in his bed as Haru came closer to him. He quickly pulled the dark haired man into a hug as he mumbled out a thanks. Haru just gave a tiny smile at his best friend. They ate and washed up, as Haru had gone to his own dorm room to grab some clothes and Makoto made a mental note to really start searching for apartments again.

But everything felt relatively normal after that. Makoto and Haru were in perfect sync with each other as always, moving around each other with ease and passing things off as they studied without too much thought. But there was also a heaviness hanging in the air. A weight that neither one of them was talking about.

It was almost one when Makoto finally broke under the pressure. He tapped his pen impatiently on his desk as he bit his lip, trying to come up with something to say. Haru laid on Makoto’s bed reading a textbook, noticing Makoto’s fidgeting but not commenting on it.

“Haru,” Makoto spoke up, his voice cracking slightly from his nervousness.

“Yes?” Haru answered, head turning to look at Makoto’s back.

Makoto swiveled his chair around and took a deep breath. This was his best friend. He could talk to him about anything. Granted, this topic was quite different from anything they had ever talked about before. It was about them and their relationship and where it was going. Because now things like kissing had been put on the table and it was distracting. Knowing that at any time Haru could kiss him, or Makoto could kiss Haru, was so weird.

What exactly did that mean for their relationship? What was Haru trying to accomplish by putting kissing on the table? Did he want a relationship with him? Or was he just being kind? No. Makoto internally shook his head. Haru wouldn’t do that to him. Would he? Makoto hadn’t expected Haru to just kiss him like that. He hadn’t expected anything, really. Except maybe a broken friendship. He had been sure that he was going to be shot down. He didn’t expect calming words, soft touches, and waist straddling. All of it was kind of freaking Makoto out.

Was Haru ready for a new relationship? Was Makoto ready for a relationship?

Makoto sighed and looked at Haru who laid gracefully on his bed. He was drowning in Makoto’s pull over sweater. It was almost completely covering his knee length swim suit – the only other piece of clothing he was wearing at the moment. The pull over was sagging to one side and giving Makoto a peak at Haru’s beautiful soft skin and delicate collarbones. His hair was falling in his face a little, still as unruly as when he got there yesterday and shining blue eyes watched Makoto carefully and with interest.

“Haru … You’re really important to me. I just … I don’t know what to do right now,” Makoto mumbled out, not even looking at Haru anymore.

Haru raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

Makoto ran his hand through his hair and down his face where he hid behind them. He heard slight movement and then he felt his fingers being pulled at. Eventually, Haru was there in front of him. He smiled softly at Makoto before he leaned in and gently kissed Makoto.

It was somehow even softer than last night. Their lips barely moved but Makoto already felt lightheaded. He was on cloud nine, all thoughts and previous statements and problems he wanted to address flew out the window for the moment. Alas, Haru pulled away this time, breaking the kiss.

“Makoto, it’s okay,” He whispered against his lips. Haru’s eyes were closed for a moment before he situated himself to sit in Makoto’s lap. He laced their fingers together and smiled ever so softly. Just the tiniest quirk of his lips but Makoto saw it.

“It’s not okay though. I’m so happy that we’re able to do this. Words haven’t even been invented to describe how happy I am,”

“But?”

“... But, I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t want to pressure you into this. You don’t have to be with me or act any different because I told you that I’m in love with you. Especially after just breaking up with Rin. If you’re not ready, I don’t want to force you into anything. Even though I want to throw myself at you, I have other … matters to tend to before I can give you the commitment you deserve if that’s something that you want. Maybe you just wanna stay friends and that’s cool too. I apologize if things feel weird because we kissed and–” Makoto started to ramble on at the end, but was cut off by a small noise.

Giggles. Haru was giggling.

That made Makoto shut up because wow, Haru giggling had to be the most adorable thing Makoto ever heard.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. I just … You do realize that I kissed you first, right?” Haru asked, looking into Makoto’s eyes. Makoto thinks he nods his head in response, “But, it’s fine if you don’t wanna do this right now. I don’t want things to be awkward so this doesn’t have to have a label or anything. You obviously had something going on while we weren’t talking if that hickey is anything to go by,”

“What?” Makoto asked, head tilting sideways.

Haru pressed his finger into a soft point at the base of Makoto’s neck and listened to the way Makoto’s breath hitched, “When I saw it this morning I knew it wasn’t me. I think I’d remember marking you like that,” Haru’s pupils dilated the pinker Makoto’s cheeks grew.

Immediately, Makoto’s hand flew up to try and cover the mark. Goddamnit Sousuke, was the first thought that popped into Makoto’s head. But then Makoto actually allowed his thoughts to linger on Sousuke and the overwhelming need to see him opened up again. He missed him. A lot. It wasn’t even the sex that he was missing at the moment, it was just him. He just wanted to see Sousuke, hear his voice and his laugh, and see him smile. He so rarely smiles when other people are around so Makoto felt special when they were alone and Sousuke would often smile at the things Makoto did.

And sue him if he starts smiling a little bit while thinking about Sousuke.

Haru shifted a little in Makoto’s lap, regaining his attention. Shyly, Haru looks down at Makoto’s chest, away from his eyes, and clenches the fabric of Makoto’s shirt in his fists.

“So um … who is it?” Haru mumbled out, “The … person that you’re seeing,”

Makoto stiffened. He didn’t know how Haru would react if he told him he had been seeing Sousuke. He knew that Haru knew that Sousuke hated him. Haru himself didn’t care much for Sousuke, but it wasn’t like he didn’t feel bad about the cheating and affecting Sousuke’s current standing with Rin. And yet, Makoto didn’t know what Haru’s opinion was on Sousuke himself. They seemed to be at an understanding before the end of high school but that was before Sousuke and Rin’s relationship completely fell apart. Makoto had no idea how he felt about Sousuke now.

“Ah, well … I’m not exactly seeing them,” Makoto said.

Haru raised a brow at Makoto, “That’s … not like you,”

Makoto gave a self deprecating laugh, “Well, I did a lot of things that weren’t like me last week,”

Haru gave a nod and then buried his head into the crook of Makoto’s neck, “Sorry, I think I’m a little jealous. I learned a lot about myself last week … and one thing is that I really don’t like not having you by my side,” Haru sighed.

“I’m always going to be by your side Haru, you know that. I just need to sort out my feelings. Both for the idea of us actually becoming a thing and … and about how I feel about Sousuke,”

Haru didn’t respond. The silence deafening to Makoto’s ears. Oh god, he fucked up, didn’t he? He was in desperate need of an out here, but at the very least he had managed to get his words out properly. It would have been worse if Makoto hadn’t told Haru it was Sousuke that he had been seeing. Makoto stared down at the top of Haru’s head and waited for his rejection. Waited for Haru to get angry with him or something – any reaction really.

And then he heard a soft, “Oh,”

“Is it weird?” Makoto asked, halfway attempting to cover his awkwardness with humor.

“A little, yeah,” Haru mused, “But strangely, it makes sense,”

“So you um …” Makoto cleared his throat lightly, “You don’t think I’m disgusting?”

Haru sighed, gently sliding his hand into Makoto’s and interlocking their fingers before looking up at him, “Why do you keep saying that?”

Makoto blinked, “Well, I don’t know. I just feel so guilty after sleeping with Sousuke. I feel like I did you wrong somehow and I need to scrub myself clean,”

Haru shook his head, “You’re not disgusting, Makoto, and you shouldn’t feel like you wronged me of all people. If anyone is disgusting here it’s me. I was the one who slept with Rin when I knew he was dating Sousuke. Sure Rin gave in and kept coming back but I was just a fun time for him. I was spiteful towards their relationship because I wanted to be Rin’s lover – I wanted all of his attention in that way. At the end of the day, I was the one who broke them up.”

Large hands ran through Haru’s hair as Makoto sighed, “Yeah … to be honest though, I think Sousuke hates Rin more than you. Or at least, he holds Rin more responsible than you. What you did was wrong, but I don’t think you’re disgusting either. I just, there’s a part of me that wishes that I could have just told you how I felt. If I had, maybe we could have bypassed all of this – the cheating, this awkwardness, my situation with Sousuke – all of it.”

“Maybe,” Haru agreed, “You know, I don’t think Rin ever cared for Sousuke as much as Sousuke did for him,”

“Sadly, I think your right,”

It was silent for a moment. Haru just rested his head on Makoto’s shoulder, breathing softly and eyes closed. Makoto’s hand kept lightly stroking Haru’s hair and down his back. It was peaceful and Makoto found himself closing his eyes as well. Soaking in the subdued electric feeling of holding Haru in his arms. And then Haru squeezed their interlocked hands.

“Let’s not be like that,” he said softly.

Makoto kissed the top of Haru’s head, “Okay,”

And so they spent the rest of the afternoon like that. Eventually, Haru went back to his own dorm. Overall, they were both happy that they had opened up the conversation of where their relationship was going and Haru kissed Makoto one last time before he headed out the door.

The kiss was still sending little pulses of happiness throughout Makoto’s body but he kept it in check as he quickly washed up, grabbed his phone, and headed out of the dorms. It was nearing seven and Makoto needed to hurry so he could be back at a decent time.

Makoto was happy about where things were going with Haru, but after he was mentioned Makoto couldn’t stop thinking about Sousuke. He hoped that he was doing okay. They hadn’t talked and Sousuke was obviously avoiding him at school. It’s only been like two days since their break but Makoto missed him so much it hurt. Makoto wasn’t used to losing friends so having a friend with benefits and not talking to them felt like an even greater loss.

So he needed to see Sousuke. He wanted to make sure he was okay before anything else. And though he really didn’t want to tell him about Haru, he probably should. He didn’t want to make Sousuke upset, he had already done that by just mentioning that he was thinking about Haru after their nights together. Talking about Haru is what got Makoto kicked out of Sousuke’s apartment in the first place. So Makoto would do this now. Before anything major happened with Haru – if anything was going to happen at all.

Makoto took the steps up to Sousuke’s apartment and he started to feel the anxiety creep in. Of course he was nervous. All the other times he had come to Sousuke’s apartment he knew that he was coming here for sex and whatever came after. Right now, however, he just wanted to sit down, maybe have some tea, and talk to Sousuke.

Questions kept popping up in his head with each step the closer he got to Sousuke’s apartment door. What if Sousuke didn’t want to talk? What if he didn’t want to see him? Would trying to talk to him mess everything up? He knew that it was Sousuke who asked to distance themselves, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t miss Makoto, right?

Makoto had arrived at the door, feeling kind of jittery and a swarm of butterflies twisted up his stomach. He didn’t know what to do. He had wanted to come to Sousuke’s apartment to talk but now that he was so close to actually doing it, it seemed so scary. There were too many “what if’s” terrorizing Makoto’s brain and the urge to just run away was kicking in.

It’s only Sousuke, Makoto tried to reason with himself. He hadn’t been this nervous since the day he came back to Sousuke’s house after they had sex for the first time. Even then, it wasn’t nearly as bad as it was right now. But it should be fine! It’ll just be the two of them, talking things out! He can do this! If he could stutter out his confession to Haru, he could talk to Sousuke … somehow.

Makoto knocked on the door and waited for a second.

“Oh, Makoto,”

Makoto blinked. Standing in front of him was not Sousuke but his maroon haired ex-boyfriend Rin.

“Rin–”

“Rin, who’s at the door?” That was Sousuke. Makoto could faintly hear the popping of meat on a stove and the TV running in the background.

“It’s Makoto,” Rin called back. There was a loud CLANG sounding from the kitchen followed by a ‘shit’. Rin turned his head towards the kitchen at the sound and rolled his eyes before turning back to Makoto, “Come in.”

Makoto forced himself to not move so awkwardly as he stepped into Sousuke’s apartment and took off his shoes. His heart was beating too fast and his head was starting to spin. This was a bad idea. He shouldn’t have come. Obviously, Sousuke hadn’t missed him. Why else would Rin be here again if Sousuke didn’t want Makoto anymore? A stab of pain unexpectedly went through Makoto's heart at that thought. He almost wanted to cry but he didn’t – he wouldn’t.

“What the hell Sousuke?! You’re messing up the food! Give me that,” Rin complained.

Sousuke swiftly took the cooking utensil back, “Now, now Rin, let’s not do that. You remember the last time you tried to use the stove?”

Rin’s cheeks turned the slighted bit of pink, “Shut up,” Rin huffed and went to sit down on the couch where he wrapped himself up in blankets.

Makoto felt completely out of place. He shouldn’t be here. He should have just waited until he got to class or ran into Sousuke in the hallway. He could have talked to him then, pulled him to the side when he had the proper confidence. Not now, during such a private, domestic moment he was having with Rin.

“Makoto,” Sousuke said, voice lower than it had just been with Rin.

Makoto shuffled over to where Sousuke was working in the Kitchen. His eyes glanced over at the food and went a little starry eyed at how delicious it all looked. The next thing to catch his eye was the way Sousuke’s arms flexed ever so slightly as he tossed the meat together in the pan. It looked like a simple stir fry, but Makoto already knew it would be great.

“Hi,”

“Hey,”

The greeting was so foreign and uncomfortable. It was completely lacking a kiss and Sousuke’s arms around Makoto’s waist, pulling him closer. It lacked that little giggle Makoto usually made after Sousuke kissed him like that and Makoto’s hands touching the sides of Sousuke’s face as he leaned in for another kiss. And the main thing it lacked was the sudden violent rush of heat and the shedding of clothes and rough touches accompanied by hours of pleasure and dizzying kisses. Makoto flushed a little thinking about it, but it was obvious that Sousuke was thinking the same thing if those little blotches of red on his cheeks weren’t just from the heat of cooking.

“So,” Sousuke started softly, “What’s up? … Did you want to talk about something?” He was trying to be casual, trying not to let anything out of the norm leak out.

“Oh um …” Makoto shifted on his feet and glanced in Rin’s direction, “Well I … I see you’re busy right now. I feel like I should just come back later?”

“You can at least stay for dinner since you came all this way,” Sousuke offered, looking at Makoto. Those teal eyes held his for a moment, filled with hope and a slight desperation that had Makoto holding his breath.

Makoto broke their eye contact, “I don’t know …” Sousuke’s hand gently brushed against his wrist.

“Please. Please stay.” He whispered.

Sousuke knew how pathetic he must have sounded but he couldn’t help it. He wanted Makoto to stay. To be here with him so he didn’t have to sit with Rin at the table and make pointless small talk.

Makoto let out a little breath, “Okay,” he said, brushing their hands together again. He walked over towards the couch and sat down next to Rin. Makoto smiled at his friend but it was only for the sake of being polite, “Looks like I’m staying for dinner!”

Rin looked away from the TV to glance at Makoto and he gave Makoto a curious look, “You two seemed to have gotten close,”

“Oh?” Makoto panicked slightly. Rin had been watching them? He had hoped that the TV had been enough of a distraction so that Rin hadn’t overheard anything they’d been saying. On the list of people that Makoto would want to know about his affairs, Rin was the last person at the moment. So he just gave a small smile to Rin, “I guess you could say that,”

Rin snorted and smiled back at Makoto, “Yeah, he’s already clinging to you like a lost puppy,”

“You know I can hear you, right?” Sousuke spoke up.

“Good,” Rin said and stuck his tongue out at Sousuke’s back.

Makoto laughed and settled in more comfortably. It wasn’t that bad that Rin was here. A little awkward, sure, but not completely unbearable. Makoto still wasn’t quite sure why Rin was here or what this meant about Sousuke and Rin’s relationship but watching the two of them interact felt a bit like how he would sit and watch Haru and Rin. When he had to sit and watch Haru and Rin flirt and steal kisses from each other while he sat there with a fake smile and pretended to be happy. He was playing pretend right now.

Pretending that he was just stopping by Sousuke’s to talk about a project or something school related, and that he just so happened to come around dinner time and was able to stay. Pretending that he was happy to stay and catch up with a childhood friend that also happened to be dating yet another person Makoto had taken a liking to. And he was pretending that he was fine with this situation. That the thought of Sousuke getting back with Rin was fine. It was fine. He was fine.

When dinner was ready he and Rin set the table and Sousuke brought all the food to the table.

The dinner was mostly silent, the only sound being the TV in the background and the soft clanging of chopsticks against the plates. Sousuke and Rin sat on one side of the table while Makoto sat on the other. He could feel the holes that both of them were staring into his skull. Makoto didn’t dare look up. Just kept his gaze on the delicious food, but the staring continued. He flicked his eyes up for a second and locked onto teal eyes.

Makoto almost stopped eating because since when has Sousuke started looking at him like that? That longing, selfish need of a look. It felt like Sousuke’s hands were running over Makoto’s body all at once. Like he was about to fuck him right there on the table with Rin watching. But there was also something deeper in there. Something that was doing things to Makoto’s brain.

Rin’s gaze however was completely indifferent. It wasn’t hateful or suspicious like Makoto’s brain was thinking it should be. It’s not like Rin had a reason to hate him per se, unless of course Haru had told Rin why he was so distracted during their lunch date. Then maybe, Rin would have blamed Makoto for their break up. But Rin’s glaze was going through him rather than looking at him. It seemed that Rin was thinking pretty hard about something from the way nervousness and anxiety filled his eyes. He was biting at his lip just slightly as he pushed his food around on his plate.

Finally, the silence was broken by Rin. He cleared his throat a little, making both Makoto and Sousuke's attention shift to him. “So Makoto, have you … have you talked to Haru lately?”

Makoto saw Sousuke flinch at the mention of Haru’s name. Which only served to make him more worried to tell Sousuke about their current situation. Makoto nodded his head, “Yeah, I talked to him yesterday,” And earlier, but they don't need to know that.

“Oh … that’s good. He was worried about you. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It was just …” Makoto can’t help but squirm in his seat a little, “Some personal things that I needed to deal with. I’m much better now,”

Rin nodded his head, mindlessly picking at his food as he continued to look at Makoto, “So … is Haru, okay now?”

“Yeah he’s good,” Makoto said, but his eyes kept drifting back to Sousuke. He wasn’t bothering to pretend like he was interested in the conversation. Sousuke was tired of hearing Rin’s voice and even more tired of hearing the name Haru.

“Cool,” Rin said. He looked back down at his place and didn’t talk for the rest of dinner.

Silence returned to the table, now charged with an awkwardness that made Makoto wish the ground would just swallow him up. Eventually, Rin pushed away from the table, cleaned off his plate, and made for the bedroom saying something about not wanting to “interrupt our study session”. Despite Rin thinking it was a bit late for Makoto to come around to study he just shrugged it off and left them alone.

Once the door to Sousuke’s bedroom closed it was finally just Sousuke and Makoto. Sousuke took Makoto’s plate and rinsed it off. Makoto stayed silent and watched Sousuke but even then his nerves were killing him. He didn’t know how to break the news. He had no clue how to tell him about his confession to Haru without feeling like everything would be destroyed. He liked Sousuke and he didn’t want to hurt him.

“Ah … Sousuke, there’s something–” Makoto started but Sousuke silently grabbed his arm and pulled him up from his chair. Sousuke quickly ushered them down the hall and out of his apartment, “Sou–”

Makoto was cut off by lips pressing against his. A rush of heat ran through his body and Makoto let out a soft moan as he was pressed up against the door. Sousuke’s arms wrapped around his waist and Makoto pulled Sousuke closer by the collar of his shirt. Their lips moved together so fluidly it was making Makoto’s brain melt. Each pass of their lips made Makoto realize just how carnally he had needed this – how much he missed this. Sousuke was kissing him hard. Desperate and needy and so sickly sweet it was almost too much. Makoto could tell that Sousuke had missed him. That he had been thinking about him and was also hurting over their separation. And thank god he did because Makoto had felt like he was crazy.

Slowly, Sousuke pulled away. Makoto could only whine and chase after those lips, wanting more. Needing more of Sousuke’s lips. The dark haired man gave a slightly crazed chuckle.

“Sorry … I just, fuck I really needed that,” he confessed, pressing his forehead to Makoto’s.

Makoto shook his head lightly, “No, it’s fine. I guess this means you and Rin aren’t together?”

“God no. He just showed up yesterday crying about Nanase breaking up with him,” Sousuke sighed, “I didn’t know what else to do so I let him crash here for a little bit,”

“Oh,”

Sousuke smirked, “What? Are you jealous?”

“Shut up,” Makoto muttered, his cheeks turning red as he playfully pushed at Sousuke’s chest.

“I’m not hearing a no,” Sousuke chuckled.

Makoto didn’t give him a response. Instead he brought Sousuke closer and stole another kiss. Sousuke smiled as he kissed Makoto, loving the feeling of having him here. Getting to kiss him and touch him. It had barely been two days and already Sousuke had missed Makoto like crazy – and he was the one who was trying to distance them.

This kiss lasted a lot longer than normal. It wasn’t as rushed or heated as the one before. It was slow, soft, and sweet. It felt good. Made warmth bloom in Sousuke’s chest and seemed to lift all the weight off his shoulders. Just having Makoto around was making him feel ten times better and Makoto was feeling the same.

Kissing Sousuke was different from kissing Haru. It felt natural, devoid of all the nervous tingles that he had with Haru. Kissing Sousuke made sense in a way that kissing Haru didn’t. Maybe it was because they understood each other too well in this situation. Their lips could slide into place just as easily as their understanding. Everything could flow without thinking, like they were just a continuation of each other. It was like no time was passing at all as they stood there kissing, with Makoto’s back against Sousuke’s apartment door. Soft and gentle kissing that for once wasn’t bound to lead to anything else.

After what felt like forever, Sousuke finally found it in himself to stop kissing Makoto and breathe some. Makoto makes a sort of delirious sounding noise when Sousuke pulls away. His head was spinning, like he was swimming in that kiss with nothing else in his brain. He might have even been able to go to sleep while being kissed like that. But Sousuke still tasted like a drug on his lips and it was keeping Makoto awake.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Sousuke asked.

“Hmm? Oh … u-um …” Makoto blinked. That’s right, he had come here to talk to Sousuke about their whole relationship. Makoto gave a small pout that had Sousuke’s heart squeezing at such a cute expression, “You should have asked that before you started kissing me and making me forget things!”

Sousuke laughed, “Sorry, sorry! I’ll try not to be such a distraction,”

Makoto sighed, “But … actually, I wanted to talk about us,”

“Oh?”

“I know you said that you wanted to put some distance between us … and that’s f-fine. If you don’t want me that’s fine … I just … I don’t know how to say this,” Makoto stumbled around with his words trying to produce the best results.

Sousuke shook his head, “Of course I want you Makoto! I just don’t want you to feel like you have to keep coming back. You don’t have to sleep with me if it hurts you. I don’t want to hurt you,”

“But you’re not! You’re not hurting me! I’m hurting myself and if anything I’m the one who’ll hurt you,” Makoto whined.

Sousuke frowned, “What do you mean?”

Makoto couldn’t meet his eyes, “I wasn’t lying when I told Rin I saw Haru the other day. We talked … and … and I confessed,” Sousuke was quiet before he gently pulled himself away from Makoto. It hurt to feel him pull away but it was worse seeing the way Sousuke flinched away when Makoto tried to pull him back, “Sousuke, pl–”

“What did he say?” Sousuke interrupted him.

It felt hard to breathe, “He reciprocated, but–”

“Of course. Congratulations, your dream came true. You have Nanase now,”

Makoto’s eyes grew wet as he heard that strangled pain laced into Sousuke’s voice. “That’s not–”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t know what I was expecting … he always fucking wins. I might as well just wear a huge fucking sign that says, ‘Nanase Haruka, please take everyone I’ve ever cared about.’ At least then I could see him coming,”

“Sousuke, stop! It’s not like that,” Makoto spoke up.

“Then what is it like, Makoto!? Did you only kiss me just now for my sake? Hmm? Or are you really as disgusting as you seem to think you are? You think you can date Nanase and then have me on the side? Is that it!?” Sousuke wasn’t thinking anymore. All he could feel was hurt and betrayal and he buried those emotions with harmful words. Words that he knew weren’t true as his insides twisted even more. He just wanted to end this conversation already.

Makoto blinked back tears. He wasn’t disgusting and he wasn’t dating Haru. Part of his brain was questioning why Sousuke was being so mean, but the other half already knew the reason. Sousuke had said it himself but it still hurt. “T-That’s not what I’m saying,” Makoto’s voice was wavering – he was going to break.

Sousuke swallowed down his own tears and pushed past Makoto. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t cry in front of him – he wasn’t going to cry in the first place! He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t going to cry. Sousuke somehow made it into his apartment, even with Makoto trying to stop him. Trying to apologize through broken sobs and explain something to him. Sousuke didn’t want to hear it.

“S-Sousuke! Sousuke … Sou , listen. P-Please, listen to m-me!” Makoto sobbed from the other side of the door.

Sousuke sat with his back against the other side of the door and, against his will, started crying.

“Fuck,” was the only thing he could say as he ran his fingers through his hair and pulled at it.

Chapter Text

Sousuke had locked himself at home. It had been weeks since the fight. He kicked Rin out the day after and has spent his time mostly moping around his apartment. Sousuke doesn’t know where his phone was, it was probably lost in his bedsheets and drained of battery. Not that it mattered because he had been sleeping on the couch anyways, feeling disappointed.

Mostly he was disappointed in himself. Sousuke knew that he shouldn’t have lashed out like that, but god did things feel so fucking unfair for him. Was it a crime to want someone? To have someone he liked and not have them tangled up with the same man who was essentially the bane of Sousuke’s existence at this point!? So yeah, maybe Sousuke just wanted to feel sad and not move for a while. He felt like he at least deserved that.

Sure, he was missing class and probably a test or two, but he was smart, he could figure something out later. Right now was his time to throw his sad little pity party and not think. In fact, he could hardly think about much of anything right now. His brain just felt mushy and there was a constant tingling in the back of his skull. And he was hungry but he didn’t feel like making anything.

The only times he got up were to piss and maybe shower.

It was pathetic really. He knew that he should try to talk to Makoto at some point, but he just couldn’t stomach it. He didn’t want to have to look at his face as Makoto told him that Nanase had won him over and they were dating.

Sousuke squeezed his eyes shut at the memory of listening to Makoto sobbing from the other side of the door. The brokenness in his voice just pained Sousuke even more. He couldn’t stand the way Makoto sounded so helpless. Sousuke pulled the blanket around himself tighter and hoped it suffocated  him.

The couch, Sousuke decided, was maybe worse than the bed. Even with a blank head, memories kept popping in and out of his mind. The kisses he shared with Makoto – the first time they kissed, more specifically. The sound of Makoto’s laugh. The way his cheeks would become slightly pink and his eyes would crinkle and those perfect pale pink lips stretched into his beautiful smile. And Makoto’s eyes – they were so green and bright, breathtaking. Sousuke would pay anything to see them again. But a part of him would also pay anything to forget about them right now.

His stupid brain also kept repeating him kicking out Rin – for the second time now.

Rin had found him asleep against the door. He had gently woken him up and tried to ask what had happened but Sousuke didn’t say a word to him. Sousuke accepted the help in getting up but didn’t try to explain anything, he couldn’t at the moment. Instead, he b-lined for the shower. Which wasn’t a shower at all because he literally just stood under the water stream for forty minutes. His shoulder was aching again, he felt a little short of breath, and he just continued to suppress his emotions. Swallowed them down so he slowly became more and more numb as the day went on. Defaulted to just going through the motions.

Somehow he blinked and he was sitting at the dinner table with Rin carefully watching him from the other side of the table. Sousuke hated it. He didn’t need to be carefully watched like this, he was fine.

“Sousuke,” Rin spoke.

And Sousuke nearly threw himself out of the window. He just wanted quiet . Rin didn’t do quiet, he poked and prodded at everyone’s business and inserted himself and that was not what Sousuke needed. What he needed more than anything was to be alone.

“Sou–”

“What Rin!?” Sousuke interrupted him. He internally cringed at his voice. It was rough and raspy and it cracked a little. Sousuke grabbed his glass of water and drank some of it.

Rin was unphased by Sousuke’s harsh interjection, “Are you … okay? What happened last night?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,”

“Did something happen with Makoto?” Sousuke didn’t respond. He didn’t even flinch but he must have done something to convince Rin he was right, “Something did, didn’t it? I knew you guys were acting weird,”

Sousuke let out a sigh of exhaustion, “Look Rin, I know I said that you could stay but I really feel the need to be alone right now,”

“ … So you’re kicking me out?” Sousuke nodded. Rin huffed and let his chopsticks drop onto his plate. “Fine, whatever. Kicking me out again,”

Sousuke narrowed his eyes at Rin, “Don’t fucking say it like that. You know damn well why I kicked you out the first time! Are you really going to try and sit there and tell me you weren’t sucking Nanase’s dick behind my back? That you weren’t cheating on me?”

Rin flinched but anger still laced his words, “Well if you had actually fucking listened to me back then you would have known that I had just broken off my relationship with Haru in an effort to try and make things right between us! I wanted to focus on our relationship and you because I realized that I fucked up. Imagine his surprise and annoyance and guilt when I came back a few days later, crying about you!” The chair pushing back from the table is loud in Sousuke’s ear as Rin leaves.

There was no good response that Sousuke had to that. He could only sit there as Rin slammed the door to the bedroom close. Sousuke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath. After a moment he made his way to the bedroom, opening the door but lingering in the doorway. Rin was angrily shoving his clothes into his backpack.

“Rin,”

“What?!” Rin snapped, wiping his eyes and sniffling.

Sousuke stared down at the floor. He didn’t know what to say. Even if he had taken the time to listen to Rin back then it wouldn’t have changed anything. A part of him felt happy knowing that Rin had actually wanted to work things out between them, but it was too late. The amount of damage Rin had done to Sousuke’s heart was too much already. He knew that listening wouldn’t have done shit. He would have still shoved Rin out the door like he had done with Makoto. He couldn’t risk any chance of Rin getting bored of him again.

“ … I’m sorry,”

“No you’re not. We both know it wouldn’t have changed anything, I just … I at least wanted you to know,” Rin said quietly. Sousuke stayed silent as his ex zipped up his bag and then turned around, “Sousuke, I truly am sorry about what I put you through. And you don’t have to believe me or accept my apology, I’m saying this shit for myself. I also don’t know what you and Makoto have been doing but it sure as hell ain't studying, I’m not stupid. I still know you Sousuke, I know what you look like when you like someone. You used to look at me like that and now you can’t even look at me for more than a few minutes,”

Sousuke could feel Rin staring at him now. He hated that Rin could read him like an open book. It meant that he knew how Sousuke felt all the time, which was annoying considering he never made any indication of this skill until now. But then again, Rin was – and still kind of is – his best friend. He would know him best.

Reluctantly, Sousuke looked up and met those pretty red eyes. They were swollen and glossy with tears that fell down his cheeks, but god Rin was beautiful. That was why he couldn’t look at Rin, because the man made his heart ache. Ache for the past and what could have been. Ached simply because Rin was gorgeous and Sousuke hated that he had lost his first love like this. Because he would be kidding himself if he said he was completely over Rin. Maybe, he never would be.

“Rin … I … I got involved with Makoto. He was just … he’s been the best thing to happen to me since you. Might even be better,” Rin clicked his tongue at that and Sousuke smiled a bit watching annoyance cross his face, “But Makoto’s in love with Nanase … and I knew that – I know that, but still I …” he trailed off, feeling his heart squeeze painfully remembering that Nanase had reciprocated Makoto’s confession.

There’s a deep sigh that Rin lets out, “Makoto’s been in love with Haru since they were fucking kids. It was blindingly obvious to everyone but Haru. There’s nothing you could do about that Sou,”

“... He fucking confessed,” Sousuke crumbled and Rin was right there to catch him.

He held Sousuke and stroked his hand up and down that broad back, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Makoto confessed and Nanase fucking reciprocated. And I just, I stopped hearing anything. I stopped fucking breathing. Rin, I said some awful shit and fuck – It fucking hurts,”

“I know it does,” Rin said softly. Sousuke sagged even more into his embrace, smushed his face into Rin’s shoulder to keep himself from crying. “Did he say they were together?”

“ … No. I couldn’t stomach hearing it,”

Rin scoffed, “You idiot, didn’t even confirm if they were actually dating before you flew off the handle,” Sousuke squeezed Rin tighter, “You should have listened. You suck at that,”

“Yeah,”

“Talk to him,”

“ … I’ll try,”

Pulling back from their embrace, Rin sighed and tucked a piece of his hair behind his ear before pushing himself up on tiptoes and pressing a light kiss against Sousuke’s lips. It wasn’t anything more than just a light peck, soft and gentle. A type of kiss that Sousuke had never gotten from Rin before. Sure they had shared deep kisses, passionate and lustful kisses, loving kisses, but nothing as simple as the quick peck that Rin had just given him.

Rin smiled softly, but there was a deep sadness in his eyes, “Good,” They made their way to the front door. With his hand on the door knob Rin turned back towards Sousuke, “Take care of yourself, okay? You can always call me if you need to,”

Sousuke nodded his head and watched as Rin had walked out the door.

And now he was on the couch, pulling his hair out because he really hadn’t meant for any of this to happen. He had thought about calling Rin and asking him to come back. Even if Rin annoyed him he was the only thing that could stop Sousuke from being completely alone with his thoughts. Something that he only realized once Rin left.

He didn’t want to be alone. Sousuke really didn’t want to be alone, but he would never admit that out loud. It was too much of a weakness to admit to but he was so fucking lonely. The silence that echoed through his apartment was haunting him. Sousuke drew his blankets around himself tighter, trying his best to curl up on himself. He didn’t want to be alone.

Makoto wished he was alone.

Teppei and Kise had showed up at his dorm this morning with a slice of chocolate cake – the only reason Makoto had even let them in – and demanded that he go outside with them. Makoto protested to the best of his abilities. He didn’t feel like moving more than necessary. He got up to eat, shower, and go to class. That was all he had been doing since the fight with Sousuke, exactly three weeks, two days, four hours, and twenty three minutes ago. Not that Makoto had been counting.

He definitely wasn’t compulsively checking his phone every five minutes hoping that Sousuke would call or text him. When he found that to be a fruitless endeavor Makoto contemplated sending a text himself only to realize how terrible anything he typed sounded.

However, he had been talking to Haru. Or rather, Haru spoke to him for a minute and then ended up coming over late at night. They didn’t do anything. Just holding each other to sleep and holding hands and maybe a soft kiss or two because that’s what Makoto needed. But nothing escalated beyond that. Makoto was thankful for this because it satisfied his need to feel close to someone but didn’t make him feel uncomfortable. Or trigger flashbacks to Sousuke.

Haru was perfectly fine with it all. He had told Makoto not to worry about things like this and that soothed Makoto rather well. Or maybe it was just a lot more acceptable because of Makoto’s current emotional state. He felt bad for riling Sousuke up like that. Though Makoto knew that the news would be upsetting he hadn’t anticipated that sort of reaction from Sousuke. It still felt like a knife to the heart thinking about Sousuke calling him disgusting.

At the same time though, Makoto felt completely embarrassed. He made a fool of himself breaking down and crying against Sousuke’s front door. He didn’t remember how long he had stayed there. Just remembers that he only got up once his tears started to dry. Makoto had slowly walked back to the dorm and fell apart again once he was alone in the dark. Makoto hated himself for being so pathetic. He even hated Sousuke for a moment for making him feel like shit, but Makoto didn’t blame him. Makoto could never really blame others – it was always his fault anyways. And he had fucked up royally this time. It felt like no amount of trying was going to fix this. No matter how much Makoto wanted to make up with Sousuke he felt like it wasn’t going to happen.

“ … koto? … Makoto?”

“Huh?” Makoto looked up from his drink and towards Kise and Teppei.

Kise’s pretty golden eyes looked at him full of concern, “Makoto, honey … Are you still with us?” he asked softly, his hand gently resting on top of Makoto’s.

“Yeah, I’m here. Just wanna go home,”

Teppei shook his head, “You haven’t left your dorm for anything but classes Makoto,”

Makoto sighed. He didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to have this talk, but it was impossible to avoid.

“Makoto, we’re worried about you,” There is it, Makoto thought, “We know you don’t want to be here, but it’s good for you to get out. Yukio did the same for me after we placed third in the Winter Cup. I cried through most of it – You can cry on me if you need to,”

“Or me,” Teppei chimed in, “We just want to help you feel better and being inside your dorm all day obviously isn’t helping you,”

Just as Makoto was about to protest his phone buzzed. Everyone’s eyes snapped down to the device and Makoto felt his heart pounding in his ears as he tried not to get his hopes up. He nervously grabbed his phone and flipped over the screen. Makoto let out a small sigh and his shoulders slouched a little seeing the name on his screen. It was only a text from Haru. But it was Haru nonetheless and that did make the sting of it not being Sousuke a little easier to swallow.

HARU

> Hey

> How’s your day?

MAKOTO

>> It’s fine … Teppei and Ryota dragged me to the coffee shop

Makoto chewed on his bottom lip and waited for a response. Anything to distract him from having to talk to his friends right now.

HARU

> Oh, so you’re out right now

> Do you wanna grab some ice cream then?

MAKOTO

>> Yeah! The usual place?

HARU

> It’s the only ice cream place we go to

MAKOTO

>> Haha, I know

>> See you in a little bit!!

HARU

> Ok <3

Makoto smiled for what felt like the first time in ages. He was excited about the ice cream because that meant he could get some chocolate! Makoto looked back up at Teppei and Kise and blushed softly under their knowing gaze. 

“So um … You guys wanna go grab some ice cream?” Makoto asked.

Kise rolled his eyes before giving Makoto a teasing smile, “Which is code for Haru asked you out on a little date and you feel bad for ditching us?”

“Ryota!” Makoto whined.

Kise giggled and stood up, pulling Teppei up along with him, “I’m only joking! Of course we’ll go~ Maybe I can see if Yukio is off work,”

“Ugh, I am not letting you make me a third wheel again! I’m calling Junpei and Riko,” Teppei exclaimed. Kise just gave him a cheeky wink with his tongue poking out and started to make his way out of the coffee shop.

“You know Ryota, it’s times like these that remind me you’re younger than me,” Makoto muttered.

Teppei looked up from his phone, “So am I, what’s your point?”

Makoto gave a small laugh and shook his head. Teppei grinned back, happy to have made Makoto laugh, “It’s nothing … thanks guys,”

The trio made their way over to the ice cream shop. When they showed up Kasamatsu was already hanging out with Haru. They were both leaning against the wall and making small talk apparently. Makoto felt his heart grow fonder for Haru watching him actually hold a conversation with someone new. Just behind them Makoto could see Hyuga and Aida walking up. 

“Yukio~” Kise jumped at his boyfriend and kissed him. Kasamatsu didn’t so much as flinch when Kise crashed on top of him.

“Jeez, you’re fucking heavy,” Kasamatsu groaned. Kise pouted but he still looked down at his boyfriend with stars in his eyes.

“Are you calling me fat!? So mean!”

“Kise you are literally all height and muscle. If I was being mean to you it would look like this, idiot,” And then Kasamatsu was kicking Kise off of him. The blond flailed around on the ground while his boyfriend just rolled his eyes at him, “Anyways Nanase, this is my boyfriend, Kise Ryota. I guess you’re the Haru that Kise keeps telling me about,”

Makoto blushed and was going to say something but he felt Haru’s hand gently slip into his. He looked down at him in slight shock but Haru just gave a tiny smile and squeezed his hand before letting go.

“Yeah, it’s nice to finally meet you Kise. There’s not much point in you guys calling me Nanase, so just Haru is fine,”

Kasamatsu nodded and pulled his boyfriend off the floor. Kise was practically sparkling with love and happiness even though Kasamatsu was the one who put him on the ground in the first place. Still watching Kise brought both Makoto and Haru joy.

Teppei, now standing between his partners with his arm slung around Hyuga’s shoulder and his fingers laced through Aida’s, called out to them, “Well? Are we getting ice cream or what?”

“You’re not allowed more than one cup,” Aida said sternly looking up at him, “You get sugar drunk and I am not dealing with that today,”

“Baby, it was one time,” Teppei whined.

“Like hell it was one time! It’s been a long day, let’s just get this damn ice cream,” Hyuga said, walking towards the entrance.

Makoto felt Haru tug at his wrist.

“Come on, let’s go inside too,” Haru urged softly. Makoto waited a second until he watched Kise and Kasamatsu turn their back to them and quickly gave Haru a tight squeeze. Haru responded back immediately, hugging him just as tight. When Makoto pulled back from the hug slightly he pressed a light kiss to his lips before pulling away fully.

Haru looked slightly dazed from the surprise kiss and gave Makoto a look.

The taller man cleared his throat, “I just wanted to thank you, Haru. For you know, being here for me. I feel bad knowing that we could actually be official but I haven’t decided and I’m making you wait. If you can hold on for just a little bit longer, please,” Makoto pleaded quietly as they entered the ice cream shop.

“You’ve waited longer for me,”

Makoto felt his heart skip a beat but he couldn’t verbally respond. They just joined the rest of their friends at a table and enjoyed the conversation. Kise and Kasamatsu were bickering while Teppei was getting ordered around by his partners like an oversized puppy. Hyuga tended to be a bit more snappy but it was nothing of concern to Teppei, especially when Aida was there to keep him in line.

Even though Makoto didn’t feel like conversing much he was pulled into a bit of the conversation. It was mostly about how he and Haru met and more of the like. Then the subject of classes got around and everyone mutually groaned about assignments and somewhere deep in the back of Makoto’s mind he thought about all the missing work that Sousuke was collecting and if he could do something to help.

Haru was mostly quiet, as per usual. He sometimes spoke with Kasamatsu and answered most of Kise’s extremely personal questions. It was overall a fun evening. The couples all had a second serving of their frozen treat – except for Teppei who was limited to his one bowl – and Makoto noticed Hyuga go for a third bowl even though it had seemed like he hadn’t wanted to be here.

And for the first time since the fight, Makoto felt genuinely happy. Sitting in an ice cream shop with his fingers laced through Haru’s under the table and his friends and their partners all enjoying themselves and their company. The thoughts of Sousuke that kept popping up even seemed to become less painful. They were no longer attaching themselves to Makoto’s brain like a leech and instead were more like add-ons. When Hyuga said something condescending Makoto could hear Sousuke’s snort of laughter. When Kise whined to Kasamatsu he could see Sousuke rolling his eyes. It almost felt like he could feel the weight of Sousuke’s arm draped across the back of his chair, brushing against his shoulders.

It was pleasant.

It didn’t make Makoto upset or sick. It just made him feel like Sousuke should be here. Makoto couldn’t shake that thought.

They didn’t disassemble their little group until it started getting dark. Everyone waved their goodbyes and Teppei was going with Hyuga and Aida for the night so it was just Makoto and Haru walking back to the dorms. It was late enough that there weren’t many people on the streets. The calm before the massive groups of party goers that came for the night life of the city. Haru once more slid his hand into Makoto’s and this time they remained interlocked.

Right before they got to the dorms Haru sighed and looked up at the sky. It was a rather clear night and there were a few stars visible. Haru paused in his walking and Makoto found himself looking at the stars reflected in Haru’s eyes rather than the actual sky.

Haru turned to look at Makoto, “Do you know why I accepted your confession so easily?”

“Um … not really?”

“When you left like that, when we stopped talking, I felt like that might have been the end. It felt like I had lost you. The thought was painful. It hurt. A lot. It fucked me up so bad and Rin wasn’t a fucking help at all. The whole time I had been thinking, ‘If Makoto was here, he’d know how to fix this feeling’. So when I finally broke up with Rin that feeling just got worse because you weren’t there while I was crying my eyes out. And then you confessed. It was a shock at first, but after a second it made sense. So many things made sense. And in that moment, I might have rushed things a little, but I was just so happy that I hadn’t lost you. In fact, I had gained a whole new part of you if you’d allow it. I don’t want to pressure you, but I do want more from this. I want us to go farther,”

Makoto blinked, body filling with a mix of nervous and loving tingles. Haru, notorious concealer of feelings, was openly talking about his feelings. It almost made Makoto laugh because Haru can’t be serious. He has to be hearing stuff because there was no way that Haru actually wanted to date him. That would be … Makoto has to remind himself to breathe. He knows, in theory, that Haru accepting his confession meant that they could date – he was quite literally contemplating exactly that at the moment. But hearing Haru say it out loud felt more real.

“Haru–”

“I know it’s a lot, but I’m not lying. I’m serious about wanting to be with you Makoto. But I know that you care for someone else – that you’re thinking about Sousuke too – and I’m not going to do what I did last time. I’m not going to treat you the way I treated Rin and Sousuke,” Makoto wished he knew what to say to that, but he didn’t so he let Haru go on, “I know that you’re still deciding and I told myself that I wouldn’t say anything but … I needed you to understand that. And I wanted to know if what we are right now, if what we’ve been doing is a sign that you want something more between us too,”

Haru had turned his gaze away from Makoto and back to the sky. Makoto had all but stopped breathing. Because what exactly is he doing? Isn’t going out with Haru, and talking to him all the time, and holding hands, and making out with him, and going to sleep with him, and waking up to Haru the same thing as being his boyfriend? The fact that Haru is the only one that Makoto actively wanted to talk to and be around since his fight with Sousuke should mean something.

They both know that they have feelings for each other wrapped up in every interaction now. That there’s a hidden meaning behind every little brush of skin. Every glance. Every little breathless sound that slips past their lips when they kiss. There was so much more behind everything they did. And in this moment, Makoto found that to be more than a little overwhelming.

“I–,” Makoto started. Haru turned to look at him, but the words wouldn’t come out. So instead of talking to him, Makoto kissed him.

The kiss was deep. A breathtaking moment of being under the stars with each other. A moment like this might never happen again so Makoto needed to put as much emotion behind it as he could. Makoto was surprised that he didn’t start crying because he knew. He knew who he wanted to choose.

Makoto wrapped his arms around Haru’s waist and squeezed him closer to him. Their lips locked in a shiver inducing kiss. Slow and sweet and breathless. Makoto took in the taste of Haru’s mouth, sugary from the ice cream and warm from the wet glide of their tongues. The faint scent of chlorine still lingered in Haru’s hair while the rest of him smelled like salted caramel and blueberries. His lips were soft, his skin felt warm, and he fit into Makoto’s arms so easily. There was a part of Makoto that wished he could keep kissing Haru under the stars while holding him close, but he was starting to see someone else while kissing him.

He broke the kiss with a slick pop and Haru bit his lip slightly, eyes still closed. Makoto went more than a little breathless when Haru opened his eyes. Sparkling blue and dazed and looking at Makoto in such a way that almost had him breaking.

“You’ve never kissed me like that before,” Haru said quietly.

“ … Y-Yeah,”

Haru let out a shaky breath. There was an obvious statement hanging in the air between them. Their eye contact was broken by Haru first as he blinked and his eyes shifted away from Makoto, “You’re worried about him, right?” Makoto nodded, “You should go see him,”

“Are you okay with that?” Makoto asked.

Loaded question. Makoto knew it. Knew that what Haru said could change his mind right away right now. Because ultimately, he was scared that he would pick Haru if he asked him too. If Haru told him to jump he’d ask how high. So he was almost hoping that he would selfishly tell him not to do it, to choose him instead, because Makoto was scared – terrified even – of going to Sousuke, being rejected, and missing this chance with Haru. A chance that he would maybe regain if he got hurt. Maybe Haru would still welcome him with open arms.

So much was dependent on Haru’s next words and Makoto hated it. Hated that he put his best friend in this position. Hated that Haru was almost choosing for him, overwriting his own choice. And Makoto especially hated himself for being such a wishy-washy person. This shouldn’t matter so much to him, he shouldn’t push down his own wants just because he was scared.

Yet he stood there, waiting for Haru to speak for what seems like forever when it’s really only a minute or two.

“No. I’m not okay with it. But you should go anyway – I know how bad you’ll feel if you don’t at least try. You’ve waited for me for so long. Far too long … longer than I deserve. And now, when I've finally started to see what I had right in front of me, it’s too late. I had my chance,”

Makoto nodded his head and hugged Haru tight once more, “Okay … I’m gonna go,”

“Go see him, Makoto,” Haru gave him a sad smile. Makoto saw the tears starting to form in Haru’s eyes as he walked away but he couldn’t let himself dwell on it. Otherwise everything would be for naught. 

So Makoto started to run. Raced to get to Sousuke’s apartment so that he could finally see him. So that he could fill the longing inside of him that hurt so badly. God, he missed Sousuke. He missed his warmth and his safety and his comfort. All things he could use right now, and if he was being honest Makoto felt a little bit guilty for not going over to his place earlier just to check on him.

Finally, he made it to the apartment, took the stairs two at a time, and was panting by the time he was at the door. He gave himself a second to pull himself together before knocking.

But there was no answer.

“Sousuke?” Makoto called out as he knocked again.

Nothing.

Makoto pulled out his phone and sent Sousuke a text message. When a few minutes went by without any response he called and was immediately met with Sousuke’s voicemail – perhaps Sousuke’s phone is dead. Makoto experimentally tried turning the door knob and surprisingly it opened.

He cautiously walked into the apartment filled with anxiety, “Sousuke?” He called softly as he fully stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind him. There was a soft groan coming from the living room area. Upon entering the space, Makoto found a pile of blankets with a tuft of black hair sticking out. Immediately Makoto started to pull away the coverings, “Sousuke! Are you okay!?”

There was another groan, but without so many blankets on top of him Makoto could tell it was a groan of discomfort and pain. Finally, Makoto removed all the blankets from Sousuke. He was pale and a little sweaty, sniffling as well and it took two seconds for Makoto to register that Sousuke had gotten sick. Immediately, Makoto scooped up Sousuke and carried him to his bed.

After a quick change, featuring Sousuke moaning and groaning the whole time, Makoto tucked him in carefully. The poor man could barely open his eyes.

“Ma … koto?” His voice was so hoarse that it cracked just saying that.

Makoto placed a soft kiss on Sousuke's forehead.

“Yeah Sou, it’s me. You’re sick so please, just rest. I’ll take care of you,”

Sousuke made a brief noise of agreement and then fell back asleep. Makoto got up and made his way to the kitchen to cook something simple – a soup recipe Haru had taught him – and finally his whole body relaxed. The tangled coil around his heart was no longer there and the incessant numbing tingles going through his whole being stopped. Makoto could breathe again.

While working on the food a quiet thought came to him, he was glad that he came to see Sousuke.

Chapter Text

After a few days of cold towels pressed to his forehead, surprisingly good soup, and some much needed rest Sousuke was feeling much better. He could actually sit up by himself and shuffle around his apartment but he was still “instructed” to rest for another day. Currently though, Sousuke sat in bed and not so patiently waited for Makoto to get back home from class. He had been helping Sousuke catch up with assignments and explaining everything.

He was thankful because Makoto made things nice and simple to learn. Sousuke had missed one major assignment that was going to be a pain in the ass to make up but everything else was smooth sailing.

Neither of them have brought up the fight or what their current relationship was supposed to be. Sousuke was just happy that Makoto was here, but he knew that he should ask. If Makoto hadn’t come into his house for whatever reason, he probably would have been sick for much longer. So Sousuke was extremely thankful that he had shown up when he did. Being confined to his bed for most of the day had allowed Sousuke to do some thinking.

He needed to apologize to Makoto. What he had said and done during the fight was uncalled for and he had acted out of anger. But he wasn’t sure how to really apologize. Sousuke’s brain couldn’t wrap itself around the correct words that he should say to Makoto. He tried writing it out, but that was even worse. Not to mention, much more embarrassing. If Sousuke could just tell him, without opening his mouth, that would be great. But he can’t.

Sousuke groaned in frustration and crumbled up the piece of paper that he was trying to write on. A second later he heard the front door open.

“I’m home,” Makoto’s voice drifted in from the entryway. Sousuke felt warmth spread through his whole body.

They weren’t living together, but Makoto had brought a bag with some of his stuff in it because he didn’t want to leave Sousuke alone while he was sick. So for the past couple of days when Sousuke woke up Makoto was there. He gave him a little kiss on the cheek before he headed out to his classes and announced that he was home everyday when he came back. And god, did that do things to Sousuke. It had been much too long since he’d experienced something so domestic.

Makoto padded into the room and smiled at him, “Hey,” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Sousuke’s cheek but was caught off guard when Sousuke turned his head to let their lips lock.

“Welcome home,” Sousuke said against Makoto’s lips. He watched as Makoto bit his lip to try and stop the smile from spreading over his face.

Both men could hardly contain the stupidly happy rush that those exchanging of words gave them. So Makoto leaned back in for another kiss to convey his happiness.

“How was your day?” Makoto asked softly, their lips brushing together as Makoto moved to sit down in Sousuke’s lap, arms wrapping around his neck.

Another round of light kisses were shared before Sousuke answered, “It was boring,” His fingers tangled in Makoto’s hair and pressed their bodies closer together. He wanted to be as close as he could to Makoto, wanting to be wrapped up in his warmth.

Makoto giggled, “I’m sure it was,”

“But then you showed up,” Sousuke grinned. He drank in the sight of Makoto’s cheeks turning pink.

“Shut up,”

Sousuke chuckled and pulled back a bit to fully look at Makoto, “I’m serious. I really like seeing you everyday,” As soon as those words left his lips Sousuke felt his heart rate pick up. He was slightly horrified at those words because shit , what if he had fucked this all up? Sousuke knew Makoto could tell that he meant that in a more than friendly way. What if Makoto had only been taking care of him to be kind? What if Makoto didn’t really want him?

Those words felt too honest and too vulnerable. It felt like he was confessing to Rin all over again, except with more words. Maybe he was being a little ridiculous because Makoto had literally just been kissing him, he was still sitting in his lap for fucks sake, but the fear of this – of them – not working out was too much. As Sousuke was internally freaking out, Makoto was becoming a deeper shade of red and his heart was doing some weird stuttering that he was pretty sure was not healthy.

They were still pressed together tightly so instead of words Makoto kissed him. Kissed Sousuke hard and long and deep. Makoto wished it was easier for him to use his words but every single part of his brain was focused on the taste of Sousuke’s lips and the way his arms wrapped around his waist. Slowly they shuffled down the bed so Sousuke lay down again, this time with Makoto on top of him. The two of them refused to stop kissing, only letting their lips part for a second to catch their breath before they were once more glued to each other. 

Sousuke felt light headed, but it was okay because it was Makoto taking away his oxygen. He loved it. Loved every single second of it. Sousuke wanted to memorize every part of Makoto. Needed to catalog which way he liked to be touched, what moves made those breathy gasps and pants he loved come out, and all the little jerks and shivers that ran through Makoto’s body. All of it, Sousuke wanted all of it.

“Sousuke,” Makoto breathed out between their kisses.

“Yeah?”

“I like coming home to you too,”

For a moment, Sousuke swears his heart stopped working. The next moment, he couldn’t breathe because he was kissing Makoto harder. He doesn’t really know how long they laid there kissing, but they were both oxygen deprived by the time they finally pulled apart. But they didn’t move too far away from each other. Makoto just laid his head down on Sousuke’s chest and tried to understand the concept of breathing again.

Unconsciously, Sousuke started to run his fingers through Makoto’s hair and was not surprised by the fact that Makoto was practically purring at the action. He snuggled up against Sousuke comfortably, sighed in satisfaction, and then linked their hands together. With Makoto resting on top of him, Sousuke thought that this was as good of a time to push the apology out of his mouth. It was now or never.

“Makoto,”

“Hmm?”

“About the fight … I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I shouldn’t have said that no matter how upset I was. And I should have at least heard the full story before jumping to conclusions,”

Makoto was quiet for a little bit. Then he squeezed Sousuke lightly, “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it. Honestly, I shouldn’t have started it off like that. What I was going to say was that yes, I confessed to Haru and yes he did return my feelings, but I wasn’t going to just start a relationship with him right away. Sure it was my dream come true but I hadn’t planned on us . So I was gonna ask you to wait for a little bit. Wait for me to figure out my feelings for you and figure out what exactly I wanted to do. I know it’s a completely unfair thing to do, but I needed some time. I’m also not the best when it comes to conflicts so …”

“That’s not unfair, it’s reasonable,” Sousuke cut in, “I would’ve … I would give you as long as you need. I don’t want to keep you from being with him if that’s what you truly want. You don’t have to do anything for me, really, I just … I want you to be happy,” Sousuke felt his hands growing a bit sweaty.

He probably shouldn’t feel this nervous, but he was giving Makoto the option to leave. Because he would hate himself if Makoto only stayed because he felt bad for Sousuke. Or felt responsible for him in some way – like Sousuke getting sick was somehow his fault when it wasn’t. And if Makoto were to leave … he would be okay … maybe.

Sousuke had thought about moving apartments. The time alone had really gotten to him when he was just laying there on the couch. The whole place was just filled with memories of Rin and Makoto; the good times, the fights, the sex , it was all one big mess in Sousuke’s head. The negative feelings he was having about this apartment were starting to outweigh the positives and Sousuke wanted to run. So maybe, if Makoto were to leave him now he could say goodbye to this place for good.

Makoto sighed, “Sousuke, I wouldn’t still be here if I wasn’t happy,”

Sousuke felt his cheeks starting to warm up a bit, “Right…” When Makoto put it like that it made him feel a bit silly.

“I like you a lot, Sousuke. When I came back I had already made up my mind, so I don’t want you to think that this is just a guilty conscious thing. I’ll admit, I fought hard with myself on this. I made a decision and still second guessed myself right up until I got here because I was scared you wouldn’t want this. But I’m glad that I’m here with you. And I … I don’t want to leave,” Makoto spoke quietly.

The fingers running through Makoto’s olive brown hair had lowered to his upper back, stroking along his spine. “I’m scared too. This is … difficult for me. The last person I got this close to was Rin and that … that ripped me apart. I can’t compare us to my relationship with Rin, it’s incredibly different and I know that, but somehow we got close to falling apart in a similar way and I’m so fucking afraid of history repeating itself,”

Makoto sighed, heart aching, “I know … You wanna start over?”

There’s a slight shift, Sousuke brings his hands to cup Makoto’s cheek and gently tilts his head up so that they lock eyes. Makoto looks at Sousuke, heart racing as he searches his eyes for that ‘yes’ he so desperately wants.

“Yeah, we can start over,”

Makoto rises up so he can properly face Sousuke and smiles down at him in relief. “How about a start over first kiss?” Sousuke chuckled and mirrored Makoto’s smile, teal eyes softening in a look so sweet it had Makoto’s heart stuttering.

A warm hand slid up to caress Makoto’s cheek. A thumb softly ran across Makoto’s bottom lip and Sousuke’s eyes trailed over Makoto’s cheekbones, jawline, pink lips, and beautiful green eyes. Makoto leaned down closer, pulled towards the other man like a magnet. Both Sousuke and Makoto’s hearts were thrumming loudly in their ears and their breaths caught in their throat.

Then their lips pressed together, all shaky and slow and soft. The gentle movements seemed almost too much after what they had been doing but neither of them were complaining. They were both just hoping, in the back of their minds, that the other would stay . That they wouldn’t just disappear after this. The kiss deepened, slow warm breaths passing in between their lips and hands gently running through hair and caressing soft skin.

Sousuke wrapped his arms around Makoto’s waist and pulled them up into a seated position. With his back pressed against the headboard, his hands shakily slip under Makoto’s shirt. Feels the warm skin and the clench of his muscles against his fingers before he starts to undress Makoto. Lightly tugging at Makoto’s shirt, their lips part just long enough to pull the garment over Makoto’s head. Then they’re surging back together, lips meeting with more heat than they started with.

Makoto pulls at Sousuke’s shirt after they kiss a while more and they part again. The shirt is off in a flash, thrown haphazardly onto the floor while Sousuke got his hands on Makoto once more. His hands trailed down over Makoto’s shoulders and down his back feeling those muscles that had been worked on over years of swimming. Explored the curve of Makoto’s waist leading into slightly wider hips and a perfect ass. Meanwhile, Makoto’s hands were trailing down Sousuke’s front, brushing softly over his chest and hardened nipples down to his abs where they settled.

The kiss grew more intense as Makoto coaxed Sousuke’s mouth open, sliding his tongue inside. A small gasp that slipped past Makoto’s lips was returned with an equally needy groan. Sousuke’s hands were on Makoto’s waist, fingers fiddling with the front button on Makoto’s pants. They didn’t press further, stayed right where they were, waiting. It was a gentle question, asking for permission without words and without breaking the kiss.

A slight shift in Makoto’s hips was all the permission Sousuke needed. He quickly undid the button and unzipped the pants. Sousuke’s palm pressed against Makoto’s cock. The moan that fell from Makoto’s lips only served to make Sousuke want him more, swallowed up the noises as he pressed and rubbed against the rapidly hardening cock under his hand. But it wasn’t enough.

Makoto pulled away from their kiss with a wet pant and Sousuke looked up at him in a daze. His face was flushed and eyes blown wide in lust. Wordlessly, Makoto tugged his pants and underwear off before stripping Sousuke of his sweatpants and underwear as well. Finally, they pressed themselves back together, skin to skin, the heat of their bodies mixing.

Sousuke can’t stop his hands from grabbing on to Makoto. Fingers digging into skin possessively to drag him forward and back into their kiss. Just those few seconds of separation had Sousuke’s mouth tingling with want. They moaned, feeling their cocks pressing against each other and Sousuke quickly wrapped his hand around them. The first stroke upwards has Makoto trembling against him, a pretty little gasp sounding in between them.

It’s slick, easy to jerk them off because they're both leaking precum. Makoto rolls his hips down onto Sousuke’s cock and up into the tight grip of his hand. It’s too much and not enough and Sousuke growls against their kiss. Lets himself pull away to press kisses along Makoto’s jaw and then trailing them down his neck. Tongue licking at the hot, sensitive skin before he sinks his teeth into a weak point.

“ Sousuke ,” Makoto moans. A light airy breath of Sousuke’s name tumbling off Makoto’s lips in such a way that it sounded like a plea and a soft caress at the same time. Sousuke loved it, loved the soft gentleness of it passing over pink lips. He needed to hear it more – craved it.

Pulling his hand away from their sticky cocks, Sousuke brought his slick fingers around to press at Makoto’s entrance. The whine that Makoto had let out in protest turned into a sharp inhale of air and melted into a moan when Sousuke easily sunk two fingers in. Using his clean hand, Sousuke grabbed Makoto's jaw and brought his attention back to Makoto’s lips. Barely two kisses in and Sousuke finds himself hissing out a groan as Makoto wraps his own hand around their cocks again.

“Fuck, baby ,” Sousuke moans, Makoto whining high pitched and loud.

Slowly, Sousuke stretches Makoto open. Pushes in, spreads his fingers gently, and then pulls out slowly. He works up a nice rhythm while Makoto works over their cocks. Sousuke adds another finger to the mix, curling them up and just brushing over that bundle of nerves. Those sweet moans and gasps coming out of Makoto more frequently. Too frequently to properly kiss, so Makoto buried his head in Sousuke’s shoulder and bit down.

Makoto’s whole body was shaking. Filled with a daze of pleasure and heat, he rocked his hips up into his hand and then sank down onto Sousuke’s fingers. His teeth dug into the skin a little more to keep his sounds at bay – feels the deep rumble of Sousuke’s moan and his dick twitching in his hand. He also couldn’t look at Sousuke, it would probably make him cum. So when Makoto finally detaches from Sousuke’s shoulder he keeps his eyes shut tight and throws his head back in pleasure.

The display didn’t go unnoticed by Sousuke. He was chasing after Makoto, pressing his lips into his neck and then going lower. Dips his head down until he can get his lips around an already hard nipple, hand coming up to squeeze at Makoto’s ample chest.

“A-Ah,” Makoto’s back arched and his cock spilled out more precum coating his hand and Sousuke’s cock and making everything wetter and more sticky.

Sousuke’s tongue circled around Makoto’s nipple and then sucked lightly causing the man's body to quiver and shake. Always so sensitive there. Sousuke kept going, playing with Makoto’s cute nipple until the man was nearly sobbing. Only then did he pull away with a little bite and admire his handiwork. The pert brown nipple was flushed red from the sucking and licking, swollen and hard and just lightly breathing on the poor thing had Makoto twitching. Sousuke turned his attention to the other nipple, repeating the actions. Makoto was squirming, rutting against Sousuke in his hand with his limbs shaking and trembling like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

Finally his resolve crumbled before Sousuke’s eyes and the begging started.

“Sousuke! Sousuke, please!” he whined.

“Look at me Makoto,” Sousuke commanded, voice rough and deep. Makoto shivered at the tone, swallowed down some air before he worked up the courage to open his eyes and look at Sousuke. When his eyes opened and dropped to look at Sousuke, Makoto’s breath caught in his throat, “Tell me what you want,”

Makoto whimpered, hips jerking forward and then sliding back down on Sousuke’s fingers. He bit his lip, trying not to say the words he desperately wanted to say. Too afraid of all the meaning they held.

But then Sousuke’s eyes softened, looking at Makoto so gently and deeply and with something else that Makoto didn’t want to read into at the moment. Sousuke pulled Makoto in closer, gently ran his lips over Makoto’s neck, gave soft kisses that felt way too sensitive on Makoto’s heated skin. Continued his kisses up Makoto’s neck to his jawline, to the tip of his cheekbones, and then brought his lips to Makoto’s as they exchanged a shaky, slow kiss.

When Sousuke pulled back just slightly, he asked the question again, but softer, “Tell me what you want, Makoto,”

“ You ,” Makoto spilled. His voice sounded slightly pathetic and quivering like he was going to cry, “I want you. Want you to make me yours, please,” Makoto ran his hand through the back of Sousuke’s hair and gripped it tight. Angled Sousuke’s head so they stayed looking at each other.

Sousuke’s face flushed at the request Makoto had spoken. Carefully, he removed his fingers from Makoto’s ass, causing the man to tremble and whine a bit, his own hand letting go of their cocks. Quickly Sousuke fumbled for the bottle of lube in his nightstand and applied some to his cock before grabbing Makoto’s waist. He lifted him up, bringing Makoto’s face closer to his and chest pressing into his own while lining himself up with Makoto’s puffy hole.

“Anything,” Sousuke muttered against Makoto’s lips, “Anything you want I’ll give you,”

Then Makoto was slowly being guided down onto Sousuke’s cock. 

Waves of heat rolled through both of them as they connected. Makoto stretched around Sousuke like he was made for it. Wrapped around Sousuke and enveloped him in a soft, wet heat that had him groaning in pleasure.  It felt like coming home . The withdrawal from each other finally was getting satisfied and Makoto’s mind blanked. He wanted Sousuke so much. Wanted to stay with him. Wanted Sousuke to make love to him, but he didn’t say it out loud – couldn’t say it out loud because his brain was done for. He could only hope that Sousuke understood and wanted it too.

Every touch of skin felt like fire. Having fully sat down on Sousuke’s cock, Makoto’s body was shaking with relief and desire. He needed Sousuke to move, to touch him, to kiss him, to do anything really because it was taking everything he had to just breathe at the moment. So when Sousuke brings their mouths together again it gives Makoto the ability to finally act. Desperately they kiss, lips moving too fast as they taste each other, heads spinning with a slightly delirious feeling.

Sousuke and Makoto both started to move their hips, quickly getting in sync. More moans pushing out of their mouths as Makoto grabbed Sousuke’s face, pulling him deeper into the kiss, while Sousuke’s arms wrapped around Makoto’s waist and helped push him down onto his cock. Both of them just wanted to be as close as possible to each other, wanting to be in the other's skin. Every breath, every squeak of  the bed, and every shift of the sheets echoed through the room.

“Makoto, shit ,” Sousuke breathed out, head spinning and shivers racking his body.

He clenched down hearing Sousuke sound like that, “ Please Sousuke,” Makoto begged, light and airy. Sousuke groaned and fucked his hips up into Makoto starting a pace of slow but deep, harsh thrusts. Slammed against his prostate to make Makoto scream out.

Makoto moved his hips in little circles, movements precise and hot with need, in contrast. It had Sousuke’s hand sliding down to his ass and squeezing. Giving a threat of a spanking and that just made Makoto stutter out more whimpers and moans. Sousuke was determined to drag more of those delicious sounds out of him. He needed to hear Makoto losing his mind the same way he was every time the man tightened up with each thrust.

Sousuke didn’t need to look to know what Makoto’s dick looked like at the moment, but he did so anyway because he hadn’t seen it in weeks. It was so hard, flushed a pretty red and dripping precum. He’s grabbing the pretty cock and stroking it in seconds. Watches as Makoto’s mouth drops open in a moan when he swipes his thumb over the leaking slit. Can’t help sinking his teeth into Makoto’s flesh, marking him harshly and feeling the vibrations of the scream coming from Makoto’s throat on his lips.

“ Mine ,” Sousuke growled. He fucked hard into Makoto, pounded into him so he could hear Makoto’s ass smacking against his thighs. “You’re mine baby. All mine,” he licks at the bite, trying to soothe the angry red mark.

But Makoto is already shuddering against him. Ass clenching so tight it’s hard to thrust for a second as he screams and cums hard and loud . The loudest Sousuke had ever heard him and Makoto had gotten loud before. Noise complaint loud and this was topping that. Cum spills over Sousuke’s hand, but he doesn’t stop stroking or fucking into Makoto.

“Y-Yours! I’m yours!” Makoto gasps out in a punched out noise. His hands tangled in Sousuke’s hair, “Don’t stop, please,” He brought his lips down to Sousuke’s again, breathlessly kissing him until he was light headed. His brain was mush and there was a pleasant floaty tingling spreading through his body.

Sousuke thrusts faster, pushing up into tight heat, spreading his legs a bit so he can angle himself better. He’d been holding back because he wanted this to stay slow , wanted them to take their time, but Sousuke was tearing at the seams. It’s been too long and it feels too fucking good inside Makoto.

“I need, fuck … Makoto, can–”

“ Yes! Yes, fucking yes ,” Makoto moaned.

Thank god, Sousuke thinks. Taking his hand from Makoto’s sensitive cock, Sousuke grabs Makoto’s thighs, wraps his arms under his knees and fucks up. Slams Makoto’s body up and down on his cock as hard and fast as he can, because it’s what he needs. What they both need. And it doesn’t take long for Sousuke to feel himself crashing over the edge.

“ Fuckfuckfuck ,” Is all Sousuke can get out as he reaches his climax. Clings to Makoto as he fills up his insides with hot cum.

They can only give wet open mouthed kisses as they panted against each other. Coming down from the high just a little bit.

“Again,” Makoto breathed out. “Fuck me again,”

Sousuke smiled against his lips, “Yeah? Feeling needy?”

Makoto wrapped his arms around Sousuke’s neck and pulled him down with him so Makoto could lay flat on his back on the bed. Sousuke hovered above him, still inside of him, and easily pinned Makoto’s legs open for him. Slowly, Sousuke pulled out and Makoto whined in displeasure but Sousuke was fixated on the way his cum leaked so prettily from Makoto’s ass.

Like a man possessed, he gives a reassuring peck to Makoto’s lips before sliding down his body. Kisses his way down Makoto’s chest, flicks his tongue over his nips, before he feels Makoto’s abs clench under his lips and his dick drools out more precum that Sousuke is more than happy to lick up. It leads him to Makoto’s throbbing cock which he swallows down easily.

A beautiful moan is forced out of Makoto as his hands shoot down to make purchase in Sousuke’s dark hair. Sousuke sucks hard, slurps up all that precum leaking out and lets Makoto thrust up into his mouth. “Sousuke, fuck ,”

Sousuke could listen to that all fucking day.

He swirled his tongue around the tip, applying pressure to the underside of Makoto’s cock as the hot shaft twitched more and more. Makoto was close. He was just barely coming down from his orgasm earlier and now Sousuke was letting him fuck his mouth. There was no way he was lasting long so when Sousuke presses his thumb into Makoto’s little hole still gushing cum the man tenses up.

Cum fills Sousuke’s mouth and he drinks it down while looking up at Makoto’s flushed face and dazed green eyes. Even hums around the dick to make Makoto’s toes curl and lock his legs around his head as he shakes. When he’s finally released, Sousuke’s own face is hot. Cheeks red and eyes a little watery, but it doesn’t stop him from pressing on further. Shifts Makoto’s hips up so he can clean up his cum from that messy little hole.

Makoto gasps, dizzy and harsh as Sousuke’s wet tongue fucks into his hole. It gives Makoto something to grind back onto, has him riding Sousuke’s face in a matter of seconds because he’s still high on his second orgasm. And Sousuke couldn’t be happier. Moans into that plush ass because it makes Makoto moan in response and he tastes fucking divine with his cum mixed in there.

Teal and green eyes locked on to each other as Makoto watches Sousuke eat him out. Bites his lip to not shake or breathe too hard but the heat in Sousuke’s eyes have him fucked up anyway.

“God, Sousuke please . Please fuck me,” Makoto pleads brokenly.

Sousuke sucks harshly around Makoto’s rim before pulling back. He’s back over top of Makoto instantly, leans down to give him a filthy kiss. Makes the other man taste their combined cum and Makoto thinks he might just lose his fucking mind.

“One more time,” Sousuke groans, “Beg for it one more time,”

Makoto shivers at the words. Feels Sousuke pressing the head of his cock at his entrance, “Please, Sou! Need you in me baby, please! I need it,”

It might be a little bit unfair when Makoto cups Sousuke’s cheeks and looks deep into his eyes as he begs. Rolls his hips just a little so Sousuke’s cock catches on his wet hole. Sousuke holds Makoto’s waist steady as he sinks back into him. Cum and lube and spit slicking the way and making the glide in so much smoother. The realization makes Sousuke hotter, makes him grip Makoto’s thighs and start to fuck into him hard and deep.

Sousuke’s cock hits Makoto’s prostate just perfectly and makes Makoto’s whole body jerk. Legs trembling and breath hitching with every thrust.

“Oh fuck! Yes, right there! Sousuke, s-shit … S-Sousuke please ,” he mewled out. Sousuke obeyed, hitting Makoto’s swollen prostate over and over again.

Makoto threw his head back as tears welled up in eyes from arousal, exposing his pretty little neck to Sousuke who took the opportunity to suck and bite more marks into his skin. Makoto repays him with his hands pressing into his chest and gripping onto his forearms to ground himself but he’s already too far gone. It’s hardly a surprise when Sousuke feels Makoto tighten up on his cock, body shaking as he cums. Sousuke can just barely see Makoto’s eyes rolling back into his head and it sends a pulse of heat throughout his body.

He fucks into Makoto at a faster pace, still hitting his prostate and working him into oversensitivity. Sousuke chases after his own orgasm while taking in the gorgeous sight that was Makoto’s flushed cheeks and wet parted lips and trembling limbs. When Makoto’s dazed green eyes blink up at Sousuke he shudders. Hips losing their rhythm for a second because his whole body grows hot and his balls tighten up and he stops breathing . He barely registers himself cumming, too blinded by that fucking look in Makoto’s eyes and all the pleasure assaulting his body and brain at once.

Beneath him, Makoto was barely sucking in breaths. This was all way too much for them. Too gentle, too emotional, and too full of need. And they were both way to fucking stimulated. But as they laid there gasping and panting Makoto managed to speak words.

“ A-Again ,”

Without hesitation, Sousuke slowly started his pace back up. Their lips met once more, Makoto’s hands in Sousuke’s hair and legs wrapping around his waist. Sousuke wraps his arms around Makoto’s waist and rocks them together. His brain was nowhere to be found already but he was not going to stop fucking Makoto. He couldn’t imagine stopping.

Sticky with sweat and heat, their bodies moved together and in the back of their minds they both know that what they were doing was more than just slow fucking. It was more than just sex when Sousuke whispered Makoto’s name into his mouth like a prayer. It was more than just sex when Makoto dug his nails into Sousuke’s skin and made possessive red streaks paint his back. But neither commented on it.

Several months later, Sousuke and Makoto were softly making out in their new apartment when the doorbell rang. Sousuke groaned, pulling away from their kiss. Makoto just laughed and gave him one more peck before getting up off the couch and going to answer the door.

“Good morning, Haru!” Makoto greeted, smiling.

“Morning Makoto,” Haru returned the smile. Makoto stepped to the side to properly invite him in. As Haru walked into the living room he stiffly greeted Makoto’s boyfriend, “Hello Yamazaki,”

“Nanase,”

Makoto pouted a little, “Could you at least fake liking each other a little bit!? I would prefer if my boyfriend and my best friend actually got along,”

It was silent for a while and Makoto watched as Haru seemed to go through a series of emotions. Then he promptly went over to Sousuke and dropped himself into a kneel on the floor and bowed his forehead to the ground.

“I apologize for all the trouble I’ve caused you Sousuke. It was never my intention to hurt anyone but I wasn’t thinking about the effect I was having at the time. It was wrong for me to break up your relationship with Rin. I’m so sorry,”

Sousuke blinked, unsure of what to say. Makoto simply stood there, holding his breath as he looked at his best friend in a dogeza. Finally, Sousuke gave an awkward cough and scratched the back of his head, but he couldn’t quite look at Haru.

“You don’t have to … um, look just, stand up okay? You don’t have to do all of that. I accept your apology Haru,” Sousuke said while he willed the small embarrassed blush on his cheeks to go away.

Once Haru had picked himself up off the floor Makoto took that as his cue, “Haru, would you like something to drink? We have water, tea, coffee, juice, and milk,” he asked as he walked over to the kitchen. Haru followed, also looking quite embarrassed himself.

“Tea is fine,” he said softly.

Makoto nodded his head, “How have you been?” It had been a while since they last saw each other, which may explain some of the awkwardness between them. Or perhaps it was the fact that the last time they had seen each other Makoto had told Haru that Sousuke and him had started dating and that they were planning to move in together soon.

He had tried to phrase it as carefully as possible, wanting to keep damage control at a minimum. But Haru had simply congratulated him, casually sipping his drink at the coffee shop, all the while looking as neutral as usual. Makoto found it weird but didn’t say anything. Having almost zero reaction seemed worse than having a crying or angry Haru. Afterwards, when Makoto hadn’t received any texts or calls from Haru his fears were confirmed. Haru was truly upset.

“I’m … okay,” Haru responded, not meeting Makoto’s eyes.

Makoto internally frowned. He didn’t like Haru keeping things from him but he smiled softly at him anyways, “Have you talked to Rin?”

Haru looked up at Makoto, “A little, yeah,”

“That’s … good, I suppose. He’s also dropping by. Are you sure you’re okay with that?” Makoto asked. Haru just nodded his head.

There was a sigh from Sousuke still sitting on the couch, “Just because I accepted your apology doesn’t mean I’m not going to get jealous of you two whispering over there,” Makoto giggled and Haru gave a snort. Sousuke glared over at the two of them, “Don’t make me get off this couch!”

“Oooh, so scary,” Makoto cooed. 

“Very,” Haru added.

“That’s it!” Sousuke stood up from the couch and Makoto squeaked, hiding behind Haru for protection.

Sousuke stopped in front of Haru, “Some best friend you are, using him as a human shield,”

“I don’t particularly mind …” Haru said.

“Of course you don’t,” Sousuke narrowed his eyes.

Makoto sighed and shuffled out from behind Haru, “Sousuke, I swear if you start some–”

He was cut off by a quick press of lips to his. When Sousuke pulled away Makoto just stood there completely still with a raging blush blooming across his face.

“You left your guard down,” Sousuke grinned ridiculously wide at Makoto’s cute reaction.

Makoto snapped out of it and pushed at Sousuke’s chest, “I told you not to do that when Haru’s here!”

Sousuke glanced over towards Haru who had wiggled his way out from between the two of them. Makoto’s eyes followed. Haru was perfectly fine, sipping his tea and completely absorbed in his phone, texting someone with a small smile playing on his lips. Makoto tried to sneakily peek at the contact name. The words “Cotton Candy” with a shiny pink heart emoji next to it was what he saw. Haru rarely used emojis so clearly this was a special person. The only other person that Makoto knew Haru put an emoji next to in their contact name was himself. A simple green heart and that was it. Rin didn’t even get one when they were dating.

“I don’t think he cares,” Sousuke said.

Makoto shared a look with Sousuke before they both turned to look towards Haru. The smaller man immediately stopped his texting and looked up.

“I can still see your PDA when I’m texting,” he said sarcastically.

Ignoring the comment, Makoto smiled, “Who’s Cotton Candy?”

A small blush starts to turn Haru’s cheeks pink. He averted his eyes and grabbed his tea, walking towards the couch, “We’re supposed to be watching a movie, right?”

“Answer the question Nanase,” Sousuke said following him, Makoto not a second behind.

Haru sat down and sighed, “You’ll make fun of me,”

“Of course not!”

“Well, he might not. I can’t make any promises,” Makoto lightly smacked Sousuke’s arm, “Ow. How dare you,”

“You’re so dramatic,”

“Sousuke … What have you done to my best friend? He was never like this before,” Haru playfully glared at Sousuke.

“I didn’t do anything!”

“Anyways,” Makoto looked expectantly at Haru.

Haru fidgeted on the couch, pinned to the spot under green and teal gazes. The buzz of Haru’s phone had him reaching for it almost impulsively before he stopped his hand, hovering over it on the side table. He looked up at Makoto and Sousuke before sighing, grabbing his phone, and looked at the text as he mumbled out his response.

“... umi …”

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

Haru groaned, “I said it’s Kisumi, okay! Happy now?”

“Shigino Kisumi? The one with the pink hair?” Sousuke asked, making sure.

“Yes. Is that a problem?”

“Nope, not at all. I just … Honestly, from what Rin has told me I thought you hated him,” Sousuke replied curiously.

“That’s not true! They were good friends in middle school,” Makoto interjected.

Haru looked at Makoto, “No we weren’t. I’ve told you this before Makoto. And I didn’t – I don’t – hate him … I just … didn’t like the way he acted towards Makoto,” he said quietly, cheeks warming.

“Oh. I see,” Sousuke smirked.

“What was wrong with the way he acted towards me?” Makoto asked, confused.

Sousuke chuckled and tilted Makoto’s head up with one finger under his chin, “Oh baby … you’re so cute when you’re confused,” Makoto pouted at the insulting treatment and Sousuke stole another quick kiss. Makoto definitely knew that Haru was looking this time and he felt his face go red again, “He was jealous .”

“O-Oooh …” Makoto flushed further and glanced at Haru who was turning pink.

There was knocking at the door that broke them all out of the moment. Sousuke sighed and mumbled that he’d go get it.

Makoto awkwardly shuffled over to sit down on the couch, pointedly coming to the conclusion that he would never be able to completely accept the fact that Haru liked him in a more than friendly way. They’ve both opened up and expressed their feelings, they knew what it was like to kiss each other and hold each other, but still Makoto felt weird about having almost had that. The unattainable dream had become attainable for a moment but now things were different. Now Haru was talking to Kisumi and it forced Makoto to feel that little bit of distance between them. This line of separation felt weird because they’ve always been together, right by each other's sides. 

It was going to take a while for both of them to get used to seeing each other with a different person closest to them. But as long as Haru was happy, that was enough for Makoto.

“Hey, Rin,”

“Yo. Hope you don’t mind I brought a plus one, he looked lost,” Rin said and there was a laugh from Sousuke before a ball of pink hair ran into the living room.

“Haru~”

“Kisumi, what are y–” Haru looked startled. Kisumi had abruptly come in and picked Haru up off the couch and twirled him around before leaning in to kiss him.

Makoto really should have looked away, he wanted to, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight of Haru’s smaller form pressed up against Kisumi, their mouths seemingly well acquainted, and the blush breaking out on Haru’s face. It was cute, it was sweet, it was also … really hot .

Kisumi broke the kiss and looked at Haru, eyes sparkling, “Hi,”

Haru smiled, his eyes fluttering up to look at Kisumi, “Hi,”

“Oi Kisumi! What did I say about being all couple like!” Rin groaned as he entered the room with Sousuke.

“Oh~ Is someone jealous?” Kisumi asked, grinning at Rin.

Rin huffed and glanced at Sousuke and Haru before turning his attention back to Kisumi, “Of you? Yeah fucking right. I just hate being single,”

“But I thought you were seeing someone?” Kisumi asked as he casually grabbed Haru and sat them down on the couch, placing Haru into his lap. His arms wrapped around Haru’s waist as he nuzzled his neck and Makoto found himself smiling a bit. They were cute .

“I wouldn’t really call it seeing each other. It’s more like, I call him on the weekends and we fuck, but um … he couldn’t make it. He has a game today,” Rin admitted.

“Ooh, a fellow athlete! How classy of you,” Kisumi poked fun at him.

“Kisumi don’t be rude,” Makoto and Haru said at the same time.

Kisumi blinked, “It’s slightly creepy how in sync you two are,”

“So many years of friendship will do that!” Makoto cheerfully responded. Rin gave Makoto a look that said he didn’t believe that one bit.

“Forced friendship,” Haru muttered.

“I did not force you to be friends with me! I just … stuck around until you got used to me always being there,” Makoto internally cringed at how that sounded.

Sousuke hummed, “Sounds kind of forced,”

“Yeah,” Rin agreed.

“Ugh, guys please , it wasn’t like that!” Makoto groaned, feeling his face heat up as everyone started to laugh. If the embarrassment wasn’t overwhelming him he would be kicking all of them out right now! Even Sousuke!

“I’m just teasing Makoto,” Haru giggled, “I really appreciate your friendship,”

Makoto felt his heart flutter in his chest hearing that. He cleared his throat and tried to push past this subject, “Anyways, Rin what sport does your … um, friend play? What’s he like?”

“Basketball – and he’s a fucking idiot asshole. He sleeps way too much, blows off practice too often, and will blatantly check out other people in front of me … I hate him,” Rin said without even a moment's hesitation.

Makoto raised a brow at him.

Kisumi laughed wildly, “He sounds perfect for you!”

Sousuke snorted, “I agree. He does sound perfect for you,”

“He sounds aggressive, yet cute,” Haru commented.

“... Aggressive … yeah,” Rin got a dreamy, far away look in his eyes for a second. It looked like he was about to start drooling but then he snapped himself out of it and grabbed the tv remote to change the channel. “I think he said they were broadcasting it. Oh, there it is. He plays for Tōō Academy – number five,”

“ Holy shit . You’re fucking Aomine Daiki!?” Kisumi cried, “He’s like a fucking legend. A god of basketball! How the hell did you of all people not only meet him, but then proceed to get his number, and now casually have sex with him on the weekends?!”

Rin flicked Kisumi on the back of the head, “Haru, tell your boyfriend to calm the fuck down. I just ran into you guys' model friend Kise and he recognized me somehow even though I've never properly met him before,” Rin looked at Makoto.

Sheepishly, Makoto smiles in response, “Guilty,”

“Anyways, that idiot was with him and we just kinda hit it off. And by that I mean we started arguing immediately. It was getting late, one thing led to another, and I ended up in his bed. No big deal,”

“This bitch. ‘No big deal’. Of course Rin would say that,” Kisumi grumbled and rolled his eyes.

Rin glared at Kisumi, “Haru, I’m seriously about to hit your boyfriend,”

Sousuke sighed and sat down next to Makoto, forcing Rin to sit in the arm chair. “Why is everyone so violent today?” Sousuke sighed.

“I don’t know, but if Haru and Kisumi are going to make out this whole time, I’m gonna have to go jerk off somewhere,” Rin said, not even looking at the two mentioned – though they were making out – too absorbed in watching Aomine on the screen.

Sousuke groaned and Makoto leaned his head onto his shoulder. “These are our friends. These are the people we have chosen to talk to,” he complained to his boyfriend.

Makoto pressed a kiss to Sousuke’s cheek, “Yeah … they are. It’s gonna be a long day,”

“Aw come on! That was obviously a fucking foul!” Rin growled out from his seat.

“A really long day,” Sousuke added.

Two movies, lunch, a few loud conversations, and several hours later, Makoto and Sousuke finally laid down in their bed. Makoto sighed deeply and rolled over into Sousuke’s embrace. The same one he had been sleeping peacefully in this morning and the past several mornings for four months. Going to sleep in this embrace every night and waking up in it was like a dream. Makoto pressed his nose into Sousuke’s skin and inhaled the lingering scent of his cologne with a smile. He really was happy with Sousuke. He was also glad that Haru had Kisumi – it made him feel better. Makoto would be able to rest a little easier at night knowing that Haru wasn’t moping around, upset about what could have been between them.

Sousuke, on the other hand, was just glad that the place was quiet again. He loved Rin, but he was a pain in the ass. Especially when he was horny with no immediate outlet. The way he had been watching his new fuck buddy’s game had been telling enough. It was like he was trying to zoom the camera in with his mind. And it did not help that Kisumi was being so affectionate with Haru.

It was cute, that much he couldn’t deny, but Kisumi was also the type of person that oozed with confidence, and sugary sweetness, and sex. Even Sousuke found himself watching with interest every damn time he caught Kisumi and Haru making out during the movies. He had never seen the appeal of Nanase Haruka until now, when Kisumi was kissing the daylights out of him. For a second, Sousuke started to understand Rin.

However, he was a committed man. He had his Makoto all to himself – ready whenever he wanted or needed him. Besides, he was more than happy to be laying with Makoto and cuddling him. His hand ran through Makoto’s hair as he kissed the man's forehead.

“It’s finally over,” Sousuke chuckled.

“Thankfully,”

Sousuke smiled and brought his lips to Makoto’s, slow and gentle he kissed him. “You know, you’re extremely cute when you pout,”

Makoto lightly pushed at Sousuke’s chest in disagreement and then kissed him some more. They traded soft, sleepy little pecks for a while, absorbed in each other's taste and feel. Makoto slowly caught his breath as he pulled away from the kiss, eyes still closed and feeling light.

“Sousuke,”

“Hmm?”

“I love you,”

Sousuke opened his eyes and stared into Makoto’s green ones, searching. They hadn’t said it yet. Both of them were too unsure if it was appropriate or acceptable yet. So Sousuke needed to make sure he had heard that correctly, that Makoto had said the words that had been at the tip of his tongue for a while now. Makoto just looked at Sousuke with a reassuring warmth and calmness and love.

Today had been so domestically perfect it was surreal. Surrounded by their friends, having a good time, and being able to openly enjoy each other's presence in a romantic sense healed something in Makoto. Or rather, it showed him that he had come a much longer way than he realized. Makoto no longer felt weighed down by any leftover attachment he still had to Haru. Of course, he still felt the pain of losing that type of relationship chance with Haru – his first love – but it wasn’t haunting him anymore. He no longer woke up feeling guilty, sick, or disgusting after having sex with Sousuke. He just felt happy.

Looking at the certainty on Makoto’s face made Sousuke’s heart thump wildly in his chest. He smiled softly and cupped Makoto’s cheek in his hand, “I love you too,”

Makoto smiled, his heart fluttering hearing those words come out of Sousuke’s mouth, reciprocated. He leaned in to kiss Sousuke a little more passionately. His tongue slid in softly as their breaths mixed together and became one. Makoto’s hand traveled up Sousuke’s chest and into his hair, pulling them closer, deepening the kiss.

He broke away for a moment and grinned ridiculously, “You too tired for sex?”

They both broke out into laughter. Sousuke wrapped his arms around Makoto’s waist and rolled them over so Makoto was on his back underneath him, hands on either side of his head. Makoto smiled so hard it hurt looking up at him.

“Never too tired for sex with you baby,” Sousuke gave a dangerous smirk.

Yeah, Makoto really did love Sousuke. Sousuke felt like home.