Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I have always felt wrong, in one way or other. Which now I think started when I was really young. Those days when I was little were always a blur but I do remember one specific part of it.

Hey, mother?- little Alice

Yess, sweet heart! <3- Amaryllis 

Can I keep my hair short?- little Alice 

Why course!<3 May I ask why?<3- Amaryllis 

I don't know why. I just will like it short like my class mates!- little Alice 

And it getting way to long right so can- little Alice 

Fine,  fine let me get my scissors sweetie! <3 Hop on that chair won't you dear!<3-Amaryllis 

OKAY!- little Alice 

With that little Alice jumps on the chair. As Amaryllis is trying to find her good scissor. 

POV LITTLE ALICE:

Mother actually said she would do it. I wonder if she say yes for me to change my clothes, they are way to girly for me anyway. But why is mother going to cut my hair and not make someone else do it. Maybe she wants to get close to me!    end of pov

Amaryllis finally found her good scissor. They had dark blue flowers lining them and were silver and sharp. One of the best scissor she has and now they will be cutting her 'daughter' hair.

She came to were Alice was sitting. And pointed the chair to a mirror.

So how short you wanted sweetie?<3- Amaryllis 

This much please mother!- little Alice 

Alice point at two inches off  of hair. That if those inches were off would make Alice not have any back hair to accessorize and more importantly if cut wrong would make Alice look like an egg.

Sweet! Are you sure you want this?<3- Amaryllis 

Then Amaryllis then looked at Alice little eyes. Seeing the hope and happiness trun into sadness and embarrassment. 

Okay here goes nothing!- Amaryllis 

Alice eyes glowed once again then closed 'her' eyes as 'her' mother started to cut.

Amaryllis cut as slowly as she could trying her best not to rush it and ruin her 'daughter' hair. But even with her careful hand it still came out looking a bit wrong. 

ALICE SWEETIE A AM SO SORRY!- Amaryllis 

But Alice didn't care much about it because when she looked in the mirror she looked like a boy. She didn't know looking like a boy would feel so good but at the same time so wrong. Why was she feeling these things, these aren't the emotions of a well  proper girl. These things are wrong you aren't suppose  to want to be something different because that's bad, but if it bad then why...

Asmodeus started to cry he didn't get the emotions he was feel but knew one thing he felt like a boy. And that it was bad.

Oh no, sweetie it okay I can cast a spell that will make it look like you had longer hair! I knew I wouldn't have done it stupid stupid!- Amaryllis 

Mom...- little Asmodeus 

Amaryllis is now looking more guilty. Alice never called her mom.

Yes?- Amaryllis 

If..I didn't want to be a girl ...would that be bad?!- little Asmodeus 

Amaryllis was now looking confused. She thought her daughter was crying because of her hair and now she just hears this.?

 Sweetie can you explain a bit further I'm a bit confused?!<3- Amaryllis 

Ummm..I feel like a boy.. and it feels good but isn't bad for me to feel that.. even if it feels good..- little Asmodeus 

Oh sweetie!- Amaryllis 

Amaryllis looks at Asmodeus with sad but caring eyes think she was a fool for not noticing.

And I have been feeling like this for a while... and what if I can't stop it.. you always said that I was pretty and cute as a girl and me not feeling like one ...will I get in trouble for being like this.. am I a monster for being like this..am I being bad...I can't stop it..I tried so hard not to show you ,so hard not to tell you hoping it would leave...how....how do I stop it mo- little Asmodeus 

Amaryllis tackles Asmodeus emotionally into a hug. Making him feel safe and warm.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO STOP ANYTHING, AND YOU'RE NOT A MONSTER SWEETIE I PROMISE!- Amaryllis 

I AM SO SORRY I MADE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAD TO HIDE IT FROM ME I...am....so sorry...- Amaryllis 

Amaryllis screams these words at the top of her lungs making sure all of the demon world heard her. She also made sure not to scream directly in to Asmodeus's ears. They both hugged and cried with each other for some long minutes until they both calm down.

Amaryllis was the first to calm down and ask the first question.

So, what do you feel like?- Amaryllis 

Like crying..?- little Asmodeus 

No, sorry I mean do you feel like a boy or something else!<3- Amaryllis 

Um, a boy I think?... Yeah a boy! - little Asmodeus 

Alright sweetie!<3Cute boy clothes it is!<3- Amaryllis

What- little Asmodeus 

I can't wait to buy you so many cute boy clothes, your going to look so cute!<3 - Amaryllis 

Mother!!!- little Asmodeus 

My mother bought me a entirely new wardrobe that year. That is a memory that will never fade in my mind. It was the first time I truly felt like me you know. But then...came my powers

Chapter Text

I hate my Bloodline Ability not for its power (though a bit for it power) but for the thing it represents.

See my Bloodline Ability is called Lovely Death 

It lures demons in with their desires and then hurts or kills them if they get too close.

To use it you have to be at least luring yourself. Have good control of your emotions because if you don't it would look more scary than luring. Have a good Sense of what is real or fake so that you don't get hypnotized by your own power. And worst of all only the women in my family can use it...

So, you see I hate my Bloodline Ability. If I lose control of my emotions I scare everyone around me. I can't tell what right from wrong. And it's a terrible reminder that I'm not in the right body...

So, I decided not to use it at all and put all my energy into learning something more controllable fire. Fire was the first spell I was taught so that what I mainly use now of days.

Back then I was... Well, that in the past right...

Okay, what's your Bloodline Ability? -boy1

It Never Ending Sleep I can put people to sleep with only a touch- boy2

What about you Asmodeus, show us?! - boy2

Well, I can't control it well enough yet but ok look at this! - little Asmodeus 

Asmodeus then shows the two boys their desires but then it is disappears with how a single thought. Asmodeus looked happy in himself because he was able to actually activate his ability for more than 5 seconds. Then he looked at the boy's faces but was curious why they looked like they were going to laugh.

That your Bloodline Ability it so girly!- boy2

Yeah, wait don't only the girls in your Bloodline get that ability!- boy1

No way doesn't that mean you're a girl?!- boy2

No, I am a boy it just ..it just..- little Asmodeus 

Yeah, guys Asmodeus is a girl!!!!- boy2

Boy2 yelled at the rest of the children as loud as he could. 

What I never knew?!- girl1

Are you sure? girl2

Uh, now that you say it, she does look like a girl!- girl2

Why is she crying?- girl1

I knew she couldn't be a boy I mean look how pretty she looks!- boy3

Asmodeus was crying trying his best to correct them, but he couldn't get a word out. He rushed home trying his best not to look back at the children. 

Asmodeus POV

idiots their all idiots; stop crying is not like it true it will never be true.................................................................................................................................................................................................right

I do look pretty to them don't I; but they did think I was still a boy so what made them think I wasn't .... right, it was ...! My Bloodline Ability it made them see me as a girl even though I'm not... I have to stop using it, so that no one will never see it again.

Chapter Text

The first day of school that was the day I met Iruma and all my problems went way. Before I met Iruma I was a bit of an asshole. I felt that I was important because of my family and want to show everyone that. So I has very happy to be I became the honor student of Babyis. The only thing i had felt was the uniform, and that wellllll.

Oh my sweetheart going to Babyis what a dream I sorry I won't be there for the ceremony! <3 - Amaryllis 

Mother don't be so emotional the ceremony isn't due until 3 days. - Asmodeus 

I know but I never get to see you sweetie!<3 All this 13 crown stuff isn't all it cracked up to be!<3 - Amaryllis 

Yes, yes I know mother being a 13 crown is hard work which makes it harder to be here all the time but trust me when I say I am grown enough to understand! - Asmodeus 

Don't be so mean to me you only get to see me three  times this month 

Oh no what will I do. -Asmodeus 

Right what will you do! <3- Amaryllis 

Mother I was being sarcastic. -Asmodeus 

Really you didn't sound sarcastic! <3- Amaryllis 

Why does everyone say that! -Asmodeus 

I don't know maybe because someone sounds so serious all the time it makes him sound like I don't know not sarcastic every time he opens his mouth!<3- Amaryllis 

Say a mother who makes a uwu voice everytime she talks because it makes man think she 'less threatening' and 'more cute.' - Asmodeus 

It works you know! <3

And I hate that it does, do you know how many people older than me ask me if my mother is single!-Asmodeus 

A moment of silence between Amaryllis and Asmodeus as they shift in their seats next to the stairs trying to find where their argument went.

Everything is quite for a moment then the ambient sounds of the hums of the kitchen, the steps of the butler, and the snores of the two young sisters of Asmodeus all settle any anger towards each other.

What were we talking about before this argument son?- Amaryllis 

Sigh, the ceremony. -Asmodeus 

Right ehm! <3- Amaryllis 

Oh I so happy my boy was able to become the honor student I so sorry I won't be there to see it! <3- Amaryllis 

It okay mother no need to worry I will do amazing! -Asmodeus 

Are you sure you don't want David to go with you?! <3- Amaryllis 

He can take so many pictures for me! <3- Amaryllis 

I'm sure I don't want Dav ... I can do this on my own promise. -Asmodeus 

Alright just remember if anybody takes your light you beat them up! No one will out shine you! <3- Amaryllis 

No one will! -Asmodeus 

Sorry to interrupt you young Sir.Asmodeus but there is a package on with your name.-David 

Really oh it must be the uniform let see it then. Asmodeus 

Right way young sir. -David

David then pulls out a black box with a name on the package to Asmodeus. 

Asmodeus then took the box opening to find a white shirt with a hot pink skirt.

He didn't look shocked more like sad, a disappointed type of sad as his mother came rushing in to see.

Oh no they mixed up are order how clumsy the mail demon can be I have to write a complaint!<3- Amaryllis 

Mother the mail send to are house is never wrong it triple check to make sure it not wrong. If it was wrong they be dead. -Asmodeus 

Oh well then that school mixed up one of my daughter names with your I mean their so young come on!<3- Amaryllis 

The twin are not in their school system this was meant for me because-- Asmodeus 

Don't you dare finish this is the wrong uniform period! -Amaryllis 

Now if you don't mean me I have to talk him the uniform guy! <3- Amaryllis 

Mother wait and your gone, great. -Asmodeus 

Like that Amaryllis was in the the sky rushing to the school to probably blow someone up. 

Asmodeus seeing his mother run of made him take a seat. 

He was tired of the same thing happening again and again. He goes to a school, is given the girls uniform,  his mother makes a fuss, he wears the boys uniform, get in trouble because of it, and leaves. It happened already in ten other school now this one too. He was tried of having to not notice how people staring at his chest. He was just tired of being small and made fun of. 

So when this big opportunity came he really thought it be different but no it always the same. It never changes. 

Young Sir. Asmodeus if I may speak? David 

Sure David go ahead. -Asmodeus 

May I introduce you to the dress code of Babyis. David 

I already know of it. -Asmodeus 

Not all of its seems! David 

What?! -Asmodeus 

Well Baylis is a very different school for a reason, any child can join if they meet the right criteria. David 

Your point David being that? -Asmodeus 

Being that they can change the uniform for every specific demon body. Heck theirs custom uniform for specific demons. David 

Custom you say! Asmodeus 

Yeah,  so you don't have to worry at worst the kid just think that your Mother just wanted you to have a better uniform. No one will think it weird. David 

Thanks you David I needed that. -Asmodeus 

Asmodeus then got up and walked happily to his room planning something. 

After two hours Amaryllis came back with a confused but accomplishment face.

So of did it go Ms. Amaryllis? David 

Pretty well but confusing?!<3 Amaryllis

How so? David 

Well when I got there the place looked like a mess paper were flying everywhere. And when I got to the uniform place, their uniform were staked to the roof. I tried talking with a worker but they just told me they weren't worthy and told me to go to the principle. Then I went to Sullivan office and he was as calm as ever like none of the crazy stuff happening outside was there. Then I went told him about what happened and what terrible mistakes his school did and then he  just order his butler to get something. And they brought the uniform and apologized since it been a busy week. And i left. Amaryllis 

That sure is surprising! David 

Yeah usually Sullivan is the most stress in any given situation I wonder what happening with him to make him so clam? Amaryllis 

Do you think he got a new child? David 

That weird question David! Amaryllis 

I know it just you told me when he got that butler of his, he became less depressed and serious and more stressed and goofy. David 

That is a good point David. Amaryllis 

Well whatever it is, it doesn't matter because I got the uniform! Amaryllis 

Is it Asmodeus size Ms. Amaryllis. David 

Well I don't know give it to Asmodeus to try please! Amaryllis 

With pleasure Ma'am. David 

David then went to Asmodeus room care to knock this time considering last time Asmodeus almost set his face on fire

Come on in David. Asmodeus 

How did you know it was m- 

David then saw Asmodeus in a white and gold suit it was elegant yet practical. It had multiple layers that covered the whole coldblooded kid's body. It also had extra covering in the chest area for protection, safety and for hiding.

You don't slam open the door when you enter. 

So what do you think pretty cool right 

It looks great on you Asmodeus 

Right I'm thinking of wearing this to school so you can tell moth- what that in your hand 

Ms. Amaryllis told me to tell you to try it on.

Oh please give it here.

Sure but didn't you want 

Give it here so I can change David. 

Alright young mr.Asmodeus alright. 

David gave Asmodeus the uniform. Looking at his he would see him cringe but keep it in.

Good day David 

Good day sir.

As David closed the door Asmodeus locked it the last thing he need is his mother busting down the door to see him in this. Asmodeus stared at the uniform it mocking him to try and see if he passed.

Asmodeus not wanting to displease his mother he took of his clothes and put on the uniform. It kind of tight he thought before making a mistake and looking in the mirror. 

He looked wrong. His figure was to feminine for his liking. His hands where too small. His lack of bump made him look like a doll and the camel toe didn't help at all. And finally his chest, it looked too much like his mother's. It even sticked out like two balloons under a shirt. He looked like a girl.

The uniform came off almost immediately and was dropped on the ground. He then went straight to the bathroom and took a shower in the dark trying to drown that memory deep in his brain. 

I don't look like that, that was a joke mirror, no man looks like that, no man is that feminine.

No way there that much fat in my chest right.

Asmodeus with shaking hands touch at his fat on his chest it was a lot more than he thought. 

You see Asmodeus had grown to hate his body for it not going the things he wants for not being what he wants. But this is the first time he wanted to hurt it bad. 

He just wanted to get some scissors and cut this stupid fat off his body. He could even use his fire to seal the wounds then go on his days being happy without them.

But he didn't want to scare his mother with that fact yet, imagining her son cutting himself to get skin and fat of his body a bloodily mess of  tears and sorries. No that would traumatized her, better to suffer just a bit more than for her to face that trauma. 

With the image of his mother in tears he took his hand off his body and finished up his shower. Making sure to turn on the light after he is done charging.

Walking back to his room he see the uniform still on the ground he folded them and put them in the laundry room. Then going to talk to his mother about what he wants for the uniform. 

After a crying conversation where only Amaryllis crys she calls up Sullivan to see if her son can go to school in something custom.

Sullivan agrees and Asmodeus prepares is new better uniform.

It was a really hard time that the but the first day of school was better because that when I meet Iruma and Clara I guess.