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Chapter Text

The scenes on the screens pass before my eyes but my mind is somewhere else. The control room isn't part of my usual duties but with one of the regular operators transferring to initiate training full time for the coming weeks I offered to pick up some of his shifts. While I wouldn't usually volunteer, the control room provides me with access to every inch of video surveillance in and around the Dauntless compound which will be helpful to my mission.

Tomorrow is the day of the choosing ceremony and in less than twenty-four hours a new batch of initiates will arrive at the compound excited to start their new lives. They will be a lot less excited once they realize initiation is a fight to the top and only the strong succeed in becoming full members of Dauntless. Unlike other factions, Dauntless doesn't blindly accept new members. Every member of this faction must prove themselves to be worthy or they will be cut.

I hear a knock at the door and turn around quickly to see who it is. The door to the control room opens revealing the familiar, stony face of Jeanine Matthews, leader of Erudite.

"Good evening, Eric," she says with a small smile.

"Jeanine," I reply standing up.

She closes the door behind her before walking across the small room, slowly scanning the monitors in front of us.

"I trust you are prepared for tomorrow?" she says.

She’s referring to the arrival of the new initiates. I have been asked to oversee their training once again.

"As prepared as I can be," I reply.

"Do not take this task lightly Eric. I recognize that you have been working on this for some time now, but the new crop of initiates is always our best chance of identifying them," her stony grey eyes bore into mine and I want to look away but instead I force myself to stare back with conviction.

I'm not a child. I was given a mission, and I will follow orders. I don't need reminding. 

It takes everything I have not to say these exact words to her. But I manage, and instead, I unclench my jaw and say, "I understand."

"Good," she says, turning her attention back to the monitors. "These will be useful. It's not easy to identify Divergents and you must take advantage of every resource provided to you."

I suppress a frustrated sigh as she repeats the same lines she has been feeding me since the beginning of the mission.

She turns and looks at me sceptically. "Eric," she says in a patronizing tone. "It is of the utmost importance that we identify those who demonstrate acts of divergence before they become full members of our factions. They are a very real threat to our society and our way of life. The sooner they can be eliminated, the easier this will be." She pauses for a moment and once again locks eyes with me. "That is why you have been tasked with overseeing the training of the new initiates. As usual, the combat trials won't be of any help, but the simulations, the fear landscapes, this is when they will reveal themselves. Until then, use the intelligence and curiosity that your former faction engrained in you and watch for any signs that these individuals don't fit into the Dauntless mould."

"If there are any Divergents among the new initiates I will find them," I say confidently, suppressing an eye roll. "They don't belong in our society."

"Good," she replies. "For now, focus on the transfers. It is more likely that one of them will show an aptitude for divergence than a Dauntless born who has chosen to stay within their faction. But when the combat trials are over, you will need to keep a close eye on them as well. Be especially aware of any Abnegation transfers. We have come to realize that the majority of 'inconclusive' results during the aptitude test are from members of Abnegation. This result is often a sign of divergence."

"Noted," I reply curtly, wondering if she is almost done.

She purses her lips slightly before walking towards the door.

"I expect weekly reports on your findings," she says over her shoulder. When she reaches the door, she turns to face me once more. "And Eric?"

I nod in response.

"Don't disappoint me," she says, her eyes threatening. “Failure is not an option.”

"Yes, Ma'am," I reply as she closes the door behind her.

I let out a breath and sit back down in from of the screens.

"No pressure," I say aloud to myself. "No pressure at all."

The new initiates will have gathered in the dining hall by now. Laughing and chatting, excited that they made it off the train and down the hole. Their excitement won't last when they find out what we have in store for them. Before I get to crush their spirits, I have to track down Four. I don't know why Max couldn't just deal with it himself, but I may as well get it over with. I'll be stuck dealing with him for the foreseeable future anyways. It's so much easier to ignore his existence when he cooped up in the control room, but he had to go and volunteer to train the new initiates and now I'm stuck overseeing the training.

He's probably in the dining hall. I have to go there anyways to gather the transfers and show them to their dormitory so at least I'm not having to go too far out of my way. I reach my destination quickly and note that the atmosphere immediately changes upon my arrival. It's so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I almost want to laugh at the number of people looking at me, but I keep my eyes cold and my face straight as I scan the room for Four. As the youngest leader in Dauntless history, I've had to work hard to earn the respect of my faction and if that means they fear me then so be it.

I find him nearby sitting with two girls I don't recognize. They must be transfers. I walk over to their table and sit down next to Four. None of them say anything.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce me?" I ask, nodding towards the two girls.

"This is Tris and Christina," he says grudgingly.

I take a quick look at them. Now that I am closer it is obvious which factions they belonged to just hours ago.

"Ooh, a Stiff," I say, smirking at the small blonde girl dressed in all grey. "We'll see how long you last."

I can't help but stare at her for longer than would be considered appropriate. 'Be especially aware of any Abnegation transfers'…I hear Jeanine's words repeat in my mind. I can't imagine that this girl is Divergent. A threat to our society my ass. She doesn't even know how to eat a damn burger I note, seeing the plan patty before her.

I tap my fingers on the table and return my attention to Four.

"What have you been up to lately, Four?" I ask.

Four lifts a shoulder. "Nothing, really," he says.

In the corner of my eye, I notice the Stiff looking back and forth between the two of us.

"Max tells me he keeps trying to meet with you, and you don't show up," I say. "He requested that I find out what's going on with you."

Four looks at me for a second before saying, "Tell him that I am satisfied with the position I currently hold."

"So, he wants to give you a job."

They have been trying to recruit him into leadership since he came first in our initiation year. I can't for the life of me figure out how he could be of any use. He's such a self-righteous dick. Jeanine and Max would never be able to convince him to join the cause. There's too much Abnegation left in him.

"So it would seem," Four says.

"And you aren't interested."

"I haven't been interested in two years."

"Well," I say. "Let's hope he gets the point, then."

I clap Four on the shoulder, hard, before standing up and turning towards the Stiff.

"Try some ketchup," I say quickly before walking away.

Well at least one good thing came out of that conversation, Four has no interest in leadership and I'm happy about that. I head over to the other side of the room where Max and the other leaders are eating their dinner and join in. I'll talk to Max about my conversation with Four tomorrow right now I just want to eat.

My eyes wander back over to Four's table, and I notice that the Stiff…what was her name? Chris? No that was the other one…Tris, right…Tris has picked up the bottle of ketchup. I watch as she examines it closely before flipping it over and tapping some onto her burger. I don't know how Abnegation can possibly enjoy life without the pleasures of delicious food. She picks up the burger and tentatively brings it to her lips holding it there for entirely too long before taking a small bite. I accidentally laugh out loud at how ridiculous she looks. Never in my life would I have thought someone could be afraid to eat a hamburger. My table becomes quiet and realize that my small outburst has caught their attention. I break my watch and look around the table.

"What?" I say in my iciest tone, staring them down one by one.

Max looks at me curiously for a second before raising his hands slightly as if to say "whatever man" and returning his attention back to Sam who is sitting across from him. Everyone else at the table follows suit.

When dinner is over, I lead the transfers to the dormitory in silence. None of them say a word the entire way there. This is the first time I'll get a good look at the new recruits. With eleven dauntless born in the running, nine transfers and only ten spots total I doubt many of them will make it through to become full members.

As we reach the wooden door that leads to their dormitory I stop, turn and cross my arms. I wait as they quickly gather around me. I scan their faces and see a mixture of fear and confusion. Not a single one of them looks Dauntless to me. Although one Candor boy does stand out. He is quite tall, around my height and even wider than I am. If it wasn't for the pathetic look on his face, I would say he might have potential. I take in their outfits: five Candor, three Erudite and the Stiff from earlier. I guess she is the only one I'll have to pay special attention to. I was surprised and a bit impressed to find out at dinner that she had volunteered to jump first upon arrival at the compound.

"For those of you who don't know, my name is Eric," I say. "I am one of five leaders of the Dauntless. We take the initiation process very seriously here, so I volunteered to oversee most of your training."

Volunteered my left foot.

"Some ground rules," I continue. "You have to be in the training room by eight o'clock every day. Training takes place every day from eight to six, with a break for lunch. You are free to do whatever you like after six. You will also get some time off between each stage of initiation."

"You are only permitted to leave the compound when accompanied by a Dauntless," I add. "Behind this door is the room where you will be sleeping for the next few weeks. You will notice that there are ten beds and only nine of you. We anticipated that a higher proportion of you would make it this far."

"But we started with twelve," the Candor girl I met earlier protests.

"There is always at least one transfer who doesn't make it to the compound," I shrug. "Anyway, in the first stage of initiation, we keep transfers and Dauntless-born initiates separate, but that doesn't mean you are evaluated separately. At the end of initiation, your rankings will be determined in comparison with the Dauntless-born initiates. And they are better than you are already." And I doubt any of them look like they are about to wet themselves right now. "So I expect –"

"Rankings?" a mousy-haired Erudite transfer says, cutting me off. "Why are we ranked?"

Here it comes. I smile, readying myself for the outrage I am sure they are about to express.

"Your ranking serves two purposes," I say, starting them out gently. "The first is that it determines the order in which you will select a job after initiation. There are only a few desirable positions available."

"The second purpose," I smile just a little bit wider, "is that only the top ten initiates are made members."

No one moves as I take in the sea of shocked faces before me.

The petit Candor girl is the first to open her mouth again, "What?"

I ignore her outrage and push on. "There are eleven Dauntless-borns, and nine of you," I continue. "Four initiates will be cut at the end of stage one. The remainder will be cut after the first test."

"What do we do if we're cut?" a Cander boy with green eyes says.

"You leave the Dauntless compound," I say indifferently, "and live factionless."

I watch as the mousy-haired Erudite clamps her hand over her mouth and begins to sob. I can already tell that she won't make it through initiation. I would have expected the Stiff to be the first to be cut but looking at her now, I can see the resolve on her face. She isn't breaking down, if anything she looks colder than she did in the dining hall. Interesting.

"But that's…not fair!" the broad-shouldered Candor girl says.

My god these Candor transfers need to learn how to shut up.

Her voice sounds angry, but she looks terrified. "If we had known—"

I cut her off, too irritated by all of their outbursts to let her finish. "Are you saying that if you had known this before the choosing ceremony, you wouldn't have chosen Dauntless?" I snap. "Because if that's the case, you should get out now. If you are really one of us, it won't matter to you that you might fail. And if it does, you are a coward."

I've had enough of this. I open the door to the dormitory.

"You chose us," I say sternly. "Now we have to choose you."

And with that I turn and walk away, leaving them to discuss what they have just learned amongst themselves.

I consider all of the candidates as I make my way to my apartment. There's the big Candor one, he shows a bit of potential. He will probably make it through the combat trials but based on his response today he may or may not make it through the sims.

There's the tall Candor girl, if any of the female initiates are likely to excel in the combat trials it would be her but inferring that she wouldn't have chosen Dauntless if she had known how the initiation process worked makes me question how brave she is.

There's the small Erudite who started crying, she won't make it through the combat trials. The two other Candor boys didn't show me much either way. Same with the two boys from Erudite.

That leaves the Candor girl, Christina, who clearly doesn't know when to stop talking but she did seem spirited and that could get her through to the sims if she works hard.

And lastly the Stiff, Tris. The potential Divergent who has already proven to be more Dauntless than the rest by volunteering to be the first jumper and reacting with what looked to be courage and resolution at the idea of the trials.

She may yet prove to be a threat.

Chapter Text

Beeeeeeep. Beeeeeep. Beeeeeeep.

I groan and roll over to hit my alarm. It's early. Too early to be getting up. Unfortunately, I brought this ungodly wakeup call upon myself. Last night me thought it would be a good idea to get a workout in before my shift in the control room. This morning me is second guessing how sane I was when making that decision.

I take a deep breath and fling my feet out and over the edge of the bed, forcing my body into a sitting position. I feel the cold ground against my feet as I make my way to the bathroom to get ready to head out.

This day is going to be boring. I get that we need to make sure the compound is secure but what exactly are we worried about? Who out there would want to attack a faction full of soldiers? Soldiers whose main purpose is to keep all of the other factions safe? And even if one of the factions did choose to rise up, none of them have the training and the weapons that we do. None of them would be able to inflict any damage on us. Attacking us would be an exercise in futility.

Amity? Abnegation? The idea of either of those factions rising up against us is about as laughable as the factionless coming together to do the same. Erudite? There would be nothing to gain. Our alliance with them is already the strongest it's ever been. Candor? They can't. They're entire manifesto is based on truth and transparency. An attack on us would require acting duplicitously which is not in their nature.

Now the control room is for far more than just monitoring the Dauntless compound. It's for monitoring the entire city. Which has its uses. Factionless getting aggressive with an Abnegation handing out food? Call it into the guards nearby. An accident that requires medical assistance? Call it into the Erudite medical team. And so on. But those incidences are so few and far between that I doubt there will be any action today.

I make my way to the weight room at the far end of my apartment complex. It is deserted and dark. I must be the first one in. This training room can only be accessed by those who live in the complex. It is quite small and only contains a handful of machines, a couple of weight benches and an area with mats for bodyweight workouts and stretching. There is a much more complete gym near where the initiates train, but this one has everything I need and it's usually quiet which to me is preferable.

I focus intently on my workout, keeping my muscles engaged and my mind as quiet as possible. Working out always helps to lower my stress levels and gives me a safe place to escape from the world. When I'm in here I don't have to worry about proving myself to anyone. I don't have to worry about keeping my guard up. I don't have to worry about Jeanine and the "mission" she has tasked me with. I can just be Eric, a quiet guy who works hard and enjoys what a good workout does for my body and my mind.

When I'm finished, I spray down all of the equipment and head back to my apartment. After taking a quick shower, I make myself a plate of scrambled eggs, turkey bacon and toast before heading back out and to the control room.

I put my coffee down and check the screens to my left. These screens show the downtown core where Erudite, Candor and the majority of the Factionless reside. The screens to my right show Abnegation, Amity and the wall. The screens directly in front of me show the Dauntless compound. Obviously, there are thousands of cameras placed across the city so screens flip between what are considered to be the most "important" areas within each of the factions. If we notice anything odd, we are able to manually flip through whichever views we think will be the most beneficial.

With nothing notable to report going on in the other factions, I bring my attention to the cameras within the Dauntless compound and notice Four handing out guns to the initiate transfers. I can't help but shake my head at how the majority of the initiates are holding their guns. They have no idea what they have gotten themselves into.

I watch as Four presses the barrel of his gun to the green-eyed Candor's forehead before turning towards a nearby target and putting a bullet through the centre ring. The boy looks as though he's about to lunge at Four, but he contains himself.

The initiates split apart and place themselves in front of a target each. I find Tris among them and watch as she tries to imitate Four's positioning before pulling the trigger on her gun for the first time. The recoil nearly causes her to hit herself in the nose as she stumbles backwards bracing herself on the wall behind her. I can't tell where her bullet ended up but it sure as hell didn't hit the target.

Pushing herself off of the wall, she repositions and tries again. She misses the target but manages to stay upright without the help of the wall this time. I watch as she continues to pull the trigger over and over again, missing her the target every time. As pathetic as her attempts are I can't help but internally cheer her on. Her determination is evident through the screens and with each new attempt she repositions slightly trying to correct her errors. She deserves to have made at least one shot by now.

The blonde Erudite boy next to her says something, stealing her attention for a moment. When she turns back to face the target she somehow appears even more determined than before. She takes another shot and this time her feet stay planted. I take a look at the target and note the bullet hole she has created at the edge of it. I can't help the pride that rises in my chest. She did it. I watch as she shoots five more times, each bullet getting closer and closer to the middle of the target until…

"I knew you could do it," I say loudly, hitting the desk with my palm as the fifth bullet meets the centre of the target. I look around the room quickly, relieved to find that I am still alone. The excitement of her small triumph races through my body and I smile as I see the pride on her face.

"Calm down Eric, she's just some Stiff," I say out loud to myself. "Get a grip."

I stand up and walk across the room getting my body moving. The boredom is clearly getting to me already and I haven't even been in here for that long.

The training room is already buzzing as I make my way inside. I hang by the door and try to assess the initiates. I am looking forward to seeing what these transfers are made of. I've seen the dauntless born fight and with their years of training I have no doubt that their skill levels will far exceed the skill levels of those currently in front of me.

Four is standing facing the board which shows who will be matched up for today's fights. I scan it quickly and notice that the space next to the Stiff's name is blank. With an odd number of transfers remaining, I'm not surprised that someone will be spared from today's activities, but I wonder why Four has chosen to spare her in particular.

"Since there are an odd number of you, one of you won't be fighting today," says Four, stepping away from the board and looking briefly at the Stiff. I watch her face as the realization that she won't be fighting dawns on her. A fleeting look of relief flits across her face and I find myself disappointed by it. But who can blame her? She IS very scrawny and there's no way she has ever been in a fight before. It's natural to be relieved that you've avoided getting your ass kicked.

Still, after watching her during shooting practice I was looking forward to seeing what she had to offer during hand-to-hand combat.

I turn my attention to Will, the blonde Erudite transfer and Al, the large Candor transfer. My money is on the Candor boy, he may have looked pretty pathetic the night I walked them back to their dormitory, but he is large, taller than the Erudite boy by at least half a foot, and that puts him at a natural advantage.

The fight starts as the two boys put their hands up by their faces and shuffle in a circle around each other. Al manages the first hit, punching Will hard in the jaw. I can't help but smirk as Will stumbles to the side bringing one hand to his face while blocking Al's next punch with the other. Al is slow, but powerful something I hadn't anticipated. Will hooks a foot around one of Al's legs and yanks back, knocking Al to the ground. Al scrambles to his feet. They face each other and begin to circle again. I see them both look over at Four and I’m bored. Do they not understand that they are supposed to fight each other? Sure, they've both gotten a lick in, but come on.

I look down at my watch wondering how much longer they are going to pussyfoot around before finally getting in the game.

"Do you think this is a leisure activity? Should we brake for naptime? Fight each other," I shout, losing my patience.

"But...is it scored or something? When does the fight end?" Al asks, dropping his hands.

"It ends when one of you is unable to continue," I say. Or does ANYTHING at all. Jesus, they've each made one move. Do they think they have proven anything with this nonsense?

I look over at Four as he opens his mouth, and I can already tell he's about to piss me off. "According to Dauntless rules," he says, "one of you could also concede."

I narrow my eyes at him, yup, I knew whatever he was going to say would be irritating. "According to the old rules," I say. "In the new rules, no one concedes."

"I brave man acknowledges the strength of others," Four throws back.

"A brave man never surrenders." I stare him down, reminding him that I rank above him and hold the authority here.

What do these kids think is going to happen if they end up in a real fight? Do they think if they just throw their hands up and say, "I acknowledge your strength" the other person is just going to say, "thank you" and walk away? No, they are either going to step up and stand their ground or they are going to get their asses beat regardless of whether or not they try to concede.

"This is ridiculous," Al says, shaking his sweat covered head. "What's the point of beating him up? We're in the same faction!"

"Oh, you think it's going to be that easy?" Will asks, grinning. "Go on, try to hit me slowpoke."

Will puts his hands up again. I see determination in Will's eyes that wasn't there before. Finally. Let's do this thing boys.

Al tries a punch, and Will ducks. He dodges another punch, slipping around Al and kicking him hard in the back. Al lurches forward and turns. He charges at Will, grabbing his arm so he can't slip away, and punches him hard in the jaw. The larger boy's eyes roll back in his head, and all the tension leaves his body as he crumples to the floor.

So, I was wrong, the Candor boy has more fight in him than I expected. Interesting. Let's see who else manages to impress me.

"Get him up," I say curling my lip. "Next up—Molly and Christina!" I shout as Al drags Will's body out of the arena.

I can't help but sneak a peek at Tris as Christina makes her way to the arena. She looks nervous. I watch as she wipes her palms on her pants and try to decipher the look of concentration on her face. What is going on in that head of hers? Since her arrival she has shown bravery and resolve. While her size leads me to believe she would lose this fight, I don't think she would go down without giving it everything she has – as little as that would likely prove to be.

I snap my attention back to the arena when I hear a loud grasp. Evidently, the small Candor girl has managed to kick the much larger girl in the side. Without warning, Molly dives at Christina's midsection hitting her hard, knocking her down and pinning her to the ground.

The girls are already proving to be much more aggressive…and more entertaining.

I continue to watch with interest as the larger Candor girl punches wildly at the smaller girl's head. Christina manages to move out of the way a few times before Molly finally lands a punch straight to the middle of her face. Blood runs down the side of Christina's face and splatters on the ground next to her cheek. I consider calling the fight and crowning Molly the victor, but Christina suddenly screams and punches Molly in the ear, knocking her off-balance and wriggling herself free.

I'm impressed. I really didn't think she had it in her. My eyes follower her as she crawls away from the larger girl, and I realize she is crying. I roll my eyes. There is nothing I hate more than crying. And crying in the middle of a fight? Come on! Pull it together.

Molly is on her again, kicking her side, sending her onto her back. I watch to see how she will retaliate, considering ending the fight once more.

"Stop!" wails Christina as Molly pulls her foot back to kick again. She holds out a hand. "Stop! I'm…" She coughs. "I'm done."

Why did she have to do that? Did she not hear me explain the new rules? The fight ends when one of them falls unconscious…or I decide it's time to stop. They both put up a good fight and with the amount Christina's blood on the floor I think it's fair to say Molly won this one. But if I let this go…well then I show them weakness. If I let this go…my authority could be questioned.

God damnit.

I walk slowly towards the center of the arena and stand over Christina with my arms folded. I look at her and say, barely above a whisper, "I'm sorry, what did you say? You're done?"

I watch as the girl pushes herself to her knees. When she takes her hand from the ground, it leaves a red handprint behind. That's right, get up I will her. Change your mind and keep going. Don't make me do something I'll regret.

But instead of getting up she simply pinches her nose and nods at me. I sigh internally. I can't let this slide. These initiates need to learn to respect me. I'm grateful in this moment that Four has left the arena allowing me to avoid his inevitable objections.

"Get up," I say quietly before grabbing the girl’s arm, yanking her to her feet and dragging towards the door. I know what I have to do to nip this in the bud.

"Follow me," I say to the rest of the group.

In the back of my mind, I wonder what Tris will think of what is about to happen. But I quickly dismiss that thought. Why should I care what she thinks of me?

I lead the initiates through the pit to the railing above the chasm. The river is roaring loudly, and I can see fear and confusion on Christina's face as well as on the faces of the rest of the initiates. I consider whether or not a threat would be enough, but my authority is in question, and I have to follow through with this.

I shove Christina against the railing, wincing internally as she hits it harder than I intended.

"Climb over it," I say.

"What?" She says, eyes wide and face ashen.

"Climb over the railing," I say again slowly. "If you can hang over the chasm for five minutes, I will forget your cowardice. If you can't I will not allow you to continue initiation."

She looks terrified and I wonder if this threat is enough, if she has already learnt the lesson I was hoping to teach.

"Fine," she says, her voice shaking.

I watch as she puts her toe on the ledge and lifts her other leg over it. She wipes her hands on her pants and holds on to the railing so hard her knuckles turn white.

This is your last chance to stop her, I think. I hesitate before looking over at Tris. She is watching Christina, her expression equal parts terrified and angry. Suddenly she turns her head and is looking directly at me. Her eyes harden as we stare at each other, she scowls disapprovingly. She is clearly attempting to look intimidating, but her expression mixed with her round eyes make her look like an angry puppy. I nearly smile but manage to train my mouth into a smirk, raising an eyebrow at her.

She breaks my gaze and we both turn our attention back to Christina who is taking one foot off the ledge and then the other. Christina looks determined and I hope to God she can handle this.

I notice Al setting his watch next to Tris.

For the first minute and a half, Christina is fine. Her hands stay firm around the railing and her arms don't shake. But then the river hits the wall and white-water sprays against Christina's back. Her face strikes the barrier, and she cries out. I notice her hand slip so she is just holding on by her fingertips. She tries to get a better grip, but now her hands are wet.

I can feel my heart beating in my throat as I start to doubt that she will make it. It wasn't my intention to get her killed. I just wanted to show these initiates who’s in charge.

I look over at Tris who appears to be once again lost in thought. I wonder if she will reach out to Christina. If she will try to help her. Stiffs are meant to be selfless, aren't they? She doesn't look as though she has any intention of helping her friend.

I hear a loud sob and realize it's coming from the girl hanging from the railing. Another wave hits the wall, and the spray coats her body. Her hands slip again, and this time, one of them falls from the railing, so she's hanging by four fingertips.

I chance a glance at Tris who looks as though she is about to cry or vomit, maybe both and I realize it's my fault that she looks that way. I recognize that I am being a complete dick, but I'm not a monster and I will not let this girl die because of my stubbornness.

"Time's up!" I yell, knowing full well that her time is not up, before reaching over the railing and grabbing onto her free wrist. She stares up at me, eyes wide and afraid, likely debating whether or not she trusts me not to drop her.

"I got you," I say only loud enough for her to hear. She hesitates before grabbing onto my forearm. I hold her wrist tight and the hand holding onto the railing lets go. I reach my other arm out to her, and she swings up to meet it. I haul her over the barrier, and she drops to the ground, soaking wet and quivering.

I look up from her and notice Tris staring at me once more. Her expression is hard to read, but I note a mixture of relief, confusion and curiosity. We continue looking at each other and I am too aware of how fast my heart is beating in my chest….but then again, whose wouldn't be after lugging Christina over the railing.

I look away and start to make my way back to the training room, there are still more fights to observe.

Chapter Text

It's the second round of combat trials and as I make my way to the training room, I can't help but think about the look Tris gave me after I pulled Christina back over the railing. The curiosity that was evident in her big round eyes is what keeps pulling me back to that image.

I walk into the training room and immediately scan the fight schedule. I had let Four make the schedule for day one but decided to take over round two. Tris will be fighting Peter, after Molly and Edward. When I made the schedule I thought it was a good plan. I could have put Tris against Myra, the mousy Erudite girl…and maybe I should have. But they are too well matched, I want to see what Tris can do against a tougher opponent.

It's obvious that Tris and Peter don't get along. Even I can see that Peter is a complete ass. Some people think emotions make you weak, but I disagree.

Anger. Hate. Pain.

When it comes to battle, these emotions make you strong. I'm curious if Tris will allow her hate and her anger to take over when fighting Peter.

I search the room for Tris, interested to see how she is taking the news. She's standing with Christina and Al. Her cheeks are red…but she doesn't look scared. The resolve I noticed the first day has returned and I can't help but feel a little bit proud. Maybe I did make the right choice putting her up against Peter.

I try to focus on Molly and Edward as they fight but my gaze once again wanders over to Tris. She is starting to look nervous. I feel a gnawing in the pit of my stomach, and I look over at Peter who has a smug smile on his face…shit…what did I do?

I end the fight as Molly hits the ground, only semi-conscious.

While Molly peels herself off the ground, I watch Tris make her way to the center of the arena.

"You okay there Stiff?" Peter says to her. "You look like you're about to cry. I might go easy on you if you cry."

God he really is an ass. But that's okay, he's playing right into my plan. Keep going Peter, piss her off.

Peter moves his hands up to his face, elbows bent. His knees are bent too, like he's ready to spring.

"Come on, Stiff," he says, his eyes glinting. "Just one little tear. Maybe some begging."

I watch as Tris lifts her leg and tries to kick Peter in the side, but he is too fast and catches her foot, knocking her off balance. She falls on her back and I try not to flinch. She's only down for a moment before she is scrambling to her feet.

That's right. Get up, keep going.

Peter hits her hard in the face and I can see her blinking rapidly as she sways a little before moving out of reach. Within seconds he's on her, kicking her in the stomach and knocking her to the ground.

Get up, get up, GET UP. I will her.

I realize I've been holding my breath and force myself to inhale slow and steady.

Tris tries to push herself up off the ground, but Peter is already there, grabbing her hair with one hand and punching her in the nose with the other.

It takes everything in me not to flinch. Should I stop the fight? Has she had enough?

She waves her hands, slapping Peter's arms but he punches her again, this time in the ribs. I notice the amount of blood on her face, and I scratch at the back of my neck, a little too hard, trying to distract myself from the sudden urge to intervene.

I blink and she is down again, scraping her hands on the ground.

Just stay down, if you stay down, I'll call it. I'll end this.

She coughs and manages to drag herself to her feet.

She is unsteady and covered in blood but somehow, she doesn't show any signs of stopping. My fists are clenched, and I realize how badly I want to punch Peter right now. But this is my doing…I put them against each other for this exact reason. To see how Tris would fair. I hoped that she would give it everything she has, and she hasn't disappointed me.

Peter hits her again but she does not fall this time, instead, she punches him and is unfortunately rewarded with a palm to the ear.

I hear footsteps in the distance and look over just in time to see Four leaving the room.

Interesting, I wonder what's up with him?

Turning back to the arena, I watch as Tris' knees give out and she falls, cheek to the ground. Peter is on her instantly kicking at her side repeatedly and I can't take it anymore.

"ENOUGH!" I shout and Peter freezes, the room goes quiet.

Before I realize what I'm doing, I've made my way to the centre of the arena and find myself scooping Tris up into my arms. Our gaze meets briefly before her eyes roll back and her body goes limp.

The room is still and silent as I look up at faces that surround me.

"Go eat. We will resume the fights in an hour, if you aren't here you will receive a score of zero," I shout harshly before making my way out of the training room with Tris in my arms.

I make my way quickly to the infirmary; Tris still limp in my arms. I can't help but notice the confused and surprised looks I keep getting from everyone I pass. I keep my expression hard and hope it's enough to deter anyone from asking questions. I probably should have had one of the initiates bring her, Al could have easily done it. But seeing her bloody and broken, laying nearly motionless on the ground…I needed to make sure she was okay.

Reaching the glass doors of the infirmary, I turn my back to them, pushing my way through and backing into the narrow room. As I turn around the woman at the nursing station stands abruptly, looking at me with wide nervous eyes.

"She needs help," I bark at her, raising my eyebrows.

She looks confused for a moment before her eyes travel to the limp body in my arms and she immediately springs into action.

"Bring her this way," she says, waving her hand, as she makes her way over to the nearest bed. "What happened?"

I lay Tris down gently on top of the bed, her head rolls towards me.

"Combat trials," I respond to the nurse, breaking my watch on Tris.

She looks back and forth between Tris and me before speaking.

"How did it get to this point? Why didn't she conceded? Why did no one intervene?" she gives me a pointed look, barely concealing her disgust.

I feel that gnawing in the pit of my stomach return, the unfamiliar sensation of guilt taking over my senses. She's right, I should have stopped this.

"Are you going to help her or not?" I bite back.

She purses her lips at me before stepping forward to assess Tris' wounds.

"Of course. I'll take it from here," she responds.

I linger quietly watching as she opens a nearby drawer and begins to remove supplies, working quickly.

I stand silently as she cleans the blood off of Tris' face and neck. I notice that she hasn't strayed far from Tris' head.

"Her side," I say my voice echoing through the nearly empty room.

She looks at me confused, apparently having forgotten my presence, and tilts her head questioningly.

"She was kicked…a lot…in her side," I expand.

She instantly reaches out and grasps the bottom of Tris' shirt, lifting it slightly before turning to face me once more.

"I'll have to take this off now," she states. "If there's nothing else you have to add, you can go."

I let my eyes run over Tris' body once more…I know it doesn't make any sense for me to stay, that she's in the nurse’s hands now…but there's something inside of me that needs to know she will be okay.

The nurse is looking at me now. Presumably waiting for me to either speak or leave.

I give her a hard look in return and make my way towards the door. When I reach the exit, I stop.

"Will she be okay?" I ask quietly, surprised at the vulnerable way in which the question escapes me. I don't turn around, not wanting to meet the nurse's gaze.

She sighs softly before saying, "She'll be fine." Her voice is gentle…comforting and I hate that she has been witness to my weakness.

I rip open the doors and make my way to the training room refusing to look back.

The balance of the fights are uneventful. I can't seem to regain focus and when Four takes it upon himself to end the fights as he sees fit, I don't stop him.

I wait for Four and the initiates to leave the training room before slowly walking towards the door. I briefly contemplate going to check on Tris. "Would you go check on anyone else, Eric?" I mumble to myself. The answer is no.

I continue walking and despite knowing it's a bad idea I somehow find myself walking down the corridor that leads to the infirmary.

I turn the corner and take a step towards the familiar glass doors before noticing a handful of people inside. Al and Will are standing next to Tris' bed while Christina sits next to her.

My eyes land on Tris and I let out a sigh of relief. She's awake. I can't make out what she is saying, but despite the swelling and bruising I can tell that she is smiling. I linger quietly, watching their conversation, grateful that she is okay.

After entirely too long, I turn on my heels and make my way towards the dining hall. The guilt that has been with me for the majority of the day finally subsiding.

After dinner I head to the control room. When I arrive, Max is leaving. I greet him with a nod in passing as I make my way into the room.

I scan the monitors quickly but find nothing of interest. I decide to take this time to work on my report for Jeanine. Unfortunately, I don't have much to report. I think over how the transfers are progressing. So far no one really stands out as particularly Divergent.

Jeanine wanted me to keep a special eye on any Abnegation transfers, but Tris is the only one and despite my initial impression of her, the qualities I have seen so far point towards Dauntless only.

I let out a frustrated grunt before writing up my report. Its short but to the point.

All quiet. Trials uneventful. Initiates progressing at expected rate.

I send it off wondering if Jeanine will be irritated with my lack of findings.

I make myself comfortable and continue scanning over the monitors, appreciating the quiet this room brings. I don't realize I have drifted off to sleep until I feel a hand on my shoulder, shaking me gently. I look up and find Zeke looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"My shift is starting. Go get some sleep," he says with a small smile.

I stand up and shake my head, trying to orient myself.

"Thanks," I reply, standing up and making my way out the door. What time is it?

I cross paths with no one as I make my way through the quiet halls. It must be pretty late for the complex to be this empty. As I turn the corner, I suddenly find my chest colliding with someone. I look down to find Tris catching her balance, hand against the wall.

"Shouldn't you be in the infirmary?" I ask. It comes out harsher, more scolding than I intended and Tris flinches.

"I'm fine," she says. "I'm going back to the dormitory."

My eyes wander over her face. Her left eye is swollen, nearly shut. Her bottom lip is puffy and split down the middle, a scab already forming. Her nose, a dark shade of purple. Peter really did a number on her.

"You're not fine," I say, my brows furrowed. "You should go back to the infirmary."

"No," she says sternly. My eyes widen, surprised by her tone.

"I mean…" she begins, calmer. "I don't want to go back. I need to go to the dorms."

"Need?" I ask. "Why do you need to go back?"

"I…" she trails off.

I raise my eyebrows and motion with my hand for her to continue.

"Go on."

She takes a deep breath.

"I already let Peter put me in the hospital, I can't let him put me in here overnight," she looks away from me as she rushes to get it out, almost afraid she will lose her nerve if she slows down.

I cock my head, not used to this side of her. She's embarrassed. How does she not realize how amazing she was today? She has nothing to be embarrassed about. She fought her heart out.

"Tris," I say.

She turns her head quickly looking up at me. I realize this is the first time I've called her by name.

I bend down slightly, meeting her gaze.

"Screw Peter," I say. She scoffs but keeps her eyes locked on mine.

"Screw him" I start again. "I mean it. Peter is a dick. And yeah, he kind of kicked your ass today. But you should be proud of yourself."

"For what?" she says apprehensively. "For getting my butt kicked?"

"No, for refusing to give up. For fighting until the bitter end. For showing everyone that you aren't a coward."

She breaks our eye contact, looking down while wrapping her arms around herself.

"Hey, look at me," I say. I have to suppress the urge to put my finger beneath her chin and tilt her head up towards me.

After a beat, she looks up at me through her lashes. I know I should shut up before I say something I'll regret but I can't seem to stop.

"Don't you dare be embarrassed about the way things played out today. Peter is bigger and stronger than you, but you didn't go down easily. When you got knocked down you picked yourself up again and again. You kept that fight going and you refused to give up and that is something to be proud of."

She's still looking at me, her expression soft…grateful and I feel myself melting just a little.

Eric…you have a reputation to uphold. What are you doing? SHUT UP. Walk away NOW.

"Look, if you don't want to go back to the infirmary…I can't force you. But when you see Peter tomorrow…when you see any of them…walk tall and walk proud," I say.

She lets her arms fall to her sides and straightens out her stance. "Okay," she says simply.

"Okay," I repeat. We stay there for a moment, looking at each other. "Goodnight Tris," I say after a while, stepping to the side and making my way around her.

I am halfway down the hall when I hear her voice once more.

"Eric," she calls out softly.

I turn and look back at her.

She tilts her head slightly, a small smile appearing on her lips.

"Thank you," she says, barely above a whisper, before turning and walking away.

Chapter Text

Since the transfers have left the compound and are headed to the wall today, I am on control room duty. The only initiate related task I have to do is make up the schedule for the next round of fights. With so few transfers and two rounds gone the options are more limited…not to mention all the friendships that have formed make it even harder. Pitting friends against each other tends to skew the results. I want to see the initiates trying their hardest and giving everything they have. When you put friends against each other in hand to hand combat you rarely see their full potential.

When I passed by the initiates on their way out this morning, I couldn't help but notice that Tris' bruising and swelling had barely gone down. While I want to see her fight again, I'm worried that another round like that, so soon, may cause permanent damage. I could pair her up with Myra but…everyone knows Myra is the weakest of all the initiates. I don't want them to suspect I'm going easy on her. I could pair her with one of her friends and hope they take pity on her...if I put her against Christina the initiates would assume I was trying to force them to work against each other. But that option leaves Tris' fate up to Christina. On the other hand, most of the initiates underestimate Tris, so if I do pair her with Myra they may just think I'm pitting the weakest initiates against each other and Tris is sure to win.

The screen to my left breaks me from my thoughts as I notice a couple of factionless about to come to blows just outside the boarder of the Candor sector. Fights amongst the factionless are fairly common and with no other factions involved I move on from the screen and scan through the rest of the monitors.

After flipping through the cameras around the city I switch over to those within the Dauntless compound. The Dauntless born initiates are on their third round of fights. It is clear by the calculated way in which they move around the ring that they have far more extensive training than the transfers. The transfers don't realize how lucky they are to be fighting each other rather than the Dauntless born.

As I continue exploring the cameras, I find Max who appears to be having a meeting with Jeanine. I didn't realize she would be visiting today. They are deep in conversation, their faces serious and their arms crossed over their chests. Whatever Jeanine is saying to Max, she doesn't seem to be very happy with him. I'm really in no mood to deal with her, hopefully she doesn't come ask me about potential Divergents. Her response to my report was only two words. Keep looking. I'm not really sure what to make of that.

I watch them until she leaves. Half expecting her to barge into the control room looking for me, but she never comes.

The next round of fights is fairly uneventful. Tris takes out Myra in under two minutes, Myra doesn't even land a punch, and I am vindicated in my choice to pair them up. The constant physical strain is starting to take a toll on the initiates, and I can tell by the bags under their eyes that despite their fighting skills improving, their bodies are beginning to betray them. I'm curious to see how they will cope with the next phase of initiation. Their bodies may thank them, but many minds have been broken from the fear simulations.

After lights out tonight, we will be surprising both the transfer initiates and the Dauntless initiates with a game of capture the flag. While the game is meant to give the initiates an opportunity to exhibit their strategy, teamwork, and shooting skills I have always found it to be a great way to let off steam. A perfect opportunity to forget about the stresses of initiation…and of course a chance to shoot the initiates who are driving me crazy.

Four and I will be acting as team captains and hopefully I'll get the chance to shoot him too.

I am halfway to the dining hall on my way to get dinner when I hear the shuffling of footsteps behind me. I stop abruptly and feel someone walk right into my back.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" I yell at the offender as I turn to face them. My face softens slightly as I realize who has bumped into me.

"Tris?" I say questioningly.

"Sorry, I…I wanted to talk to you, but I wasn't sure how to approach you…" she starts.

"So, you decided walking into me was the best tactic?" I respond, eyebrows raised. She looks so flustered, nervous. I almost want to laugh.

"No…I…you stopped, and I didn't…" she continues.

"So, you're saying it's my fault I got walked into?" I mean for it to come out jokingly but from the look on her face she's not taking it that way.

No shit Eric, when is the last time you joked with anyone? She's just as scared of you as everyone else.

"I'm kidding," I say. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

She looks at me oddly before shaking her head as if trying to remember what she wanted from me.

"I wanted to talk to you about the fight today. I want to know why you put me against Myra," she responds, her eyes serious, arms crossed.

I debate telling her the truth…that I was trying to protect her…but she'll want to know why and if I'm being honest, I haven't yet figured that out myself.

"I paired everyone up with the initiate who I thought they were most equally matched."

It's not the truth. Tris is far beyond Myra, but it's what everyone else believes so I figure she will accept it.

Her face falls briefly. She looks a little…hurt? But only for an instant.

"But what about what you said the other night?" she asks loudly, anger marring her features.

A group of Dauntless members a few feet away turn and look at us. Her words, while innocent, could be taken a very different way.

I debate making a cruel joke about "the other night" and walking away to save face in front of them, but the hurt has returned, and I don't want to add to that hurt.

"Follow me," I say, only loud enough for her to hear. I start walking back down the hall before she has a chance to respond. She follows me anyways.

We reach the door to a nearby utility room, and I motion for her to wait as I double check that it is empty.

"I meant what I said," I say simply.

She stares at me.

"You think I'm just as weak, just as scared…just as likely to fail out of Dauntless as Myra?" She starts and I realize she's misunderstood my words. "I know that everyone thinks that of me. Heck, Four thinks I'm so pathetic it wasn't even worth his time to watch me fight Peter…but after I got out of the hospital…"

"No," I cut her off. "That's not…what I'm trying to say is I meant what I said that night. The night you left the hospital."

There's a brief silence.

"So, you don't think I'm like Myra," she says apprehensively.

"You're nothing like Myra."

Her posture softens.

"Then why? Why did you make me fight her?"

I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. Screw it.

"You're barely healed…I didn't want to see you back in the hospital."

"So, you DON'T think I could have beat anyone other than Myra," she responds, the hostility back.

"That's not…I don't know…maybe you would have won, maybe not. But with anyone else you would have gotten hurt. I knew with Myra you would be safe."

"Safe," she repeats quietly.

I nod.

"You wanted to keep me safe?" she asks softly, her head tilted. "Why?"

And there it is. The question I don't have an answer to.

"I don't know," I say truthfully before abruptly turning and leaving the room.

I know it's the cowardly move…very undauntless of me, but I'm not ready to talk about it…not ready to figure out why I care about Tris' safety.

I walk towards the dining hall once more. Tris does not follow me.

It's late, after midnight, as I make my way to the initiate dormitories. We have just finished waking up the Dauntless born initiates and now it's time to get the transfers. They have no idea what is about to happen and I'm excited to see their reactions. I nod my head at Lauren, and she pushes the door open loudly, announcing our presence.

"Everybody up!" I roar, shining my flashlight across the room. I spot Tris among the initiates. Her eyes are locked on Four's, and she appears frozen in place. I look over at Four. I don't like the look he's giving her. I feel a pang of something deep inside of me…is something going on between the two of them? Of all people in this freaking compound…

"Did you go deaf, Stiff?" I demand. The slur is not necessary but the look between them has gotten under my skin and it's the first thing that comes to mind.

"You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us by the tracks," I say. "We're going on another field trip."

I turn and leave, making my way to the tracks. The initiates fumble around trying to get dressed as quickly as possible.

It doesn't take long for all of the initiates to meet us there. The Dauntless born, having been awoken earlier, are the first to arrive followed soon after by the transfers. I watch the new arrivals take in their surroundings. Fear and curiosity flashes across many of their faces as they take in the pile of guns next to me. I sneak a look at Tris; she appears to be smiling to herself.

"Everyone grab a gun!" I shout.

The initiates quickly rush towards the pile. I turn towards Four as the pack arm themselves with guns and ammunition.

"Time estimate?" I ask him wondering if the train will be arriving soon.

Four checks his watch. "Any minute now. How long is it going to take you to memorize the train schedule?"

Cheeky bastard. "Why should I, when I have you around to remind me of it?" I reply before shoving him in the shoulder.

The light of the train grows steadily announcing its approach. Four is the first one of us to get on the train and I can't help but roll my eyes before hoping on myself. Most of the transfers, still not used to this mode of transportation, are among the last to make their approach. I lean out the door as the stragglers struggle to come aboard. Tris is among them. She catches my eye, and I stare back, willing her to hurry up. She looks determined and makes one last big push towards me. I put out my hand and she grabs it without hesitation. I pull her in. Our eyes meet briefly before she lets go and makes her way to the other side of the train to sit down.

I take one more look outside and confirm that everyone has made it onto the train. Four speaks up.

"We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will have an even mix of members, Dauntless-born initiates, and transfers. One team will get off first and find a place to hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same." The car sways and Four grabs the side of the doorway for balance. "This is a Dauntless tradition, so I suggest you take it seriously."

"What do we get if we win?" someone shouts.

I'm about to open my mouth to answer but Four responds before I have a chance.

"Sounds like the kind of question someone not from Dauntless would ask," says Four, raising an eyebrow. "You get to win, of course."

"Four and I will be your team captains," I say, looking over at Four. "Let's divide up transfers first, shall we?"

"You go first," Four says.

Edward is the obvious choice; he is leading the transfers in initiation and did well at the shooting range… but Tris is smart and determined she may do well at strategizing. I'd like to see what she comes up with. The other initiates don't see her as a threat though and choosing her first might seem strange.

"Edward," I say shrugging. Maybe I can get away with picking her second.

Four leans against the door frame and nods. I take a moment to scan the group of transfers.

"I want the Stiff."

I snap my head in his direction as a faint undercurrent of laughter fills the car. The feeling in my gut from earlier returns but this time I am able to label it. Jealously.

"Got something to prove?" I ask. "Or are you just picking the weak ones so that if you lose, you'll have someone to blame it on?"

I don't risk a look at Tris. She may be physically weak but capture the flag isn't about physical strength and I know that, strategically, she is a smart choice. A flash of the hurt look I witnessed on her face early crosses my mind. I should have just let it go, but number boy grates on my last nerve and I can't stand the way he looks at her.

Four shrugs. "Something like that."

My hands have instinctively balled themselves into fists and I have to resist the urge to injure his smug face.

"Your turn," says Four.

I hadn't really thought further than my top two contenders and with Four stealing my number two I throw out the first name that pops into my head.

"Peter."

"Christina."

I continue throwing out names.

"Molly."

"Will," says Four.

"Al."

"Drew."

"Last one left is Myra. So, she's with me," I say.

The strength of my team currently far exceeds that of Four's, but will that help with winning capture the flag? I don't know.

"Dauntless-born initiates next."

We finish choosing teams and I scan over the train car. Looking at Four's team confirms his strategy. They all share the same body type: narrow shoulders, small frames. They will be faster than us. But my team is not stupid, we will just have to rely on strategy – not speed – to win.

"Your team can get off second," I say to Four.

"Don't do me any favours," Four replies, smiling. "You know I don't need them to win."

I clench my jaw as I glare at him. "No. I know that you'll lose no matter when you get off. Take your scrawny team and get off first, then."

Four's team stand up and make their way to the entrance. I watch as Molly shoves her shoulder into Tris nearly pushing her of the train. I take a step towards them but stop as Tris steadies herself. Once Four's team have all gone, I turn to my team who are looking at me expectantly.

I check my watch and wait one minute before signaling for them to start jumping.

"Let's go," I roar before getting off.

Most of my team is able to disembark gracefully, but Myra stumbles and ends up rolling across the grass. She finally comes to a halt and reaches up to take hold of Edward's hand. I already know that she will be cut. I roll my eyes. She is only here because of Edward. Does she honestly believe their love is worth becoming factionless for? I can't imagine anyone being worth that risk.

I look around at my team.

"Where do you think they'll go?" Molly questions.

It's Gabe who responds. "When Four's team won during their initiation they hid it in the carousel at Navy Pier."

"And how would you know that?" I ask. War games are meant to be kept secret from the younger generation.

"Uriah told me…his brother was on his team," he responds a little hesitantly.

Frigging Pedrads couldn’t keep their mouths shut to save their own lives.

I turn away from Gabe and look at the rest of the pack. "Let's say they do decide to repeat Four's previous strategy, where do you think our best hiding place would be?"

I watch as they all turn their heads to try to orient themselves. It's Edward who speaks.

"Well…" he starts. "The train dropped them off back there, which means they weren't too far from the pier. I say we go that way." He points behind us towards the park. "The trees in the park will give us cover, making it harder for them to see us hiding."

I nod at Edward in approval. "What do we think?"

The group nods, some grunt in agreement.

"Well then, what are we waiting for?"

We all turn towards the park and start to walk in silence, not wanting to give away our location. The streets are empty; all buildings have been abandoned long ago. It's eerily quiet, the only noise coming from our footsteps. It doesn't take long for us to reach the edge of the park where the group stops.

"Keep going," I say. "The further in the harder it will be for them to find us."

Everyone starts to move again, and I can't help but wonder what the other team is up to. Would they really reuse the carrousel? It seems too obvious. But it's not up to Four and me to come up with the strategy. It's up to the initiates so if Uriah had brought up the idea Four would be unlikely to argue.

We stop somewhere around the midpoint of the park and all the initiates turn to me for further direction. It would be easy for me to take over. Easy for me to bark out orders. But that isn't what this exercise is about. As much as I want to win, it's not my place to come up with our plan.

I widen my eyes and look between them. "Well…what's next?"

They break their gaze on me and turn to look at each other. A few of them start talking all at once.

"Let's go this way…."

"Should we climb a tree?"

"What if we dig a hole?"

"Can one of us wear the flag?"

"What a stupid plan."

We'll lose for sure at this rate.

"Enough!" I hiss. "Edward, it was your idea to use the park. What do you think we should do now?"

Peter opens his mouth to argue but I turn my attention to him, eyes hard and he thinks better of it.

Edwards's eyebrows furrow and it's clear that he is trying to come up with a strategy.

"I like the idea of hiding the flag in a tree. It'll be harder to spot," he starts. "Okay, I'm thinking we break into three groups. The first group hides the flag in a tree and stays close to it but not too close that it gives away the exact location. The second group climbs some of the trees further out and acts as snipers when the other team approaches. The last team tries to scout out the location of their flag, starting with the pier."

He says his plan with confidence, but as he finishes, he looks at me, nervous for my reaction.

"Great, now who is doing what?" I respond. Edward looks relieved.

I let them break into groups on their own, only interjecting to inform them that I will be taking one of the sniper positions.

The group with the flag heads a bit further into the forest, hiding the flag and getting themselves into position.

The rest of use move forward. I don't go too far from the flag's location before finding a sturdy tree. As I step towards it a loud screeching noise breaks the silence of the night. A few of the initiates in the scouting group instinctively drop to the ground while everyone else looks at each other for some kind of explanation.

"Did they just turn on one of the rides?" Gabe questions.

I think he's right.

"Do those rides even work anymore?" Peter says.

"So, they are at the pier!" Gabe exclaims with pride.

Surprisingly, it's Myra who chimes in next. "Or, they might have sent someone over there to turn it on and throw us off?"

She could be right. But with Edward's group out of range we can't change the plan now.

"We stick with the plan," I grunt before making my ascent.

Everyone starts to move into their positions.

I try to use my vantage point to work out the location of the other team's flag but I'm not high enough to see anything. With everyone in their respective locations the silence of the night takes over.

After a few minutes of waiting, I hear a chorus of yells, puffs of air going off, and splats as shots find their targets. They must have met up with our scouts. I hold steady in my position, spinning my head as I notice movement below me.

Four.

I smile to myself and position my gun towards him. He is running towards the location of our flag, and I realize there is a small group ahead of him. Shit, they know where it is.

The trees are now blocking my shot and with a quick look in the direction from which Four came I confirm that no one is behind him. I take a risk and jump down from my position. The movement alerts him to my presence, and he turns to me, gun drawn. But I'm quick and I pinch the trigger, hitting him directly in the chest.

I want to stay and gloat, but I have to catch up with the rest of his team before they reach our flag. I settle for a cocky smile and a wink, slapping him in the arm as make my way passed.

I run quickly through the trees. I will not lose again. I see movement ahead of me and slow down, quieting my steps. Uriah is in front of me, before I have a chance to get a shot off, he hits our last guard, Adira, in the thigh. He doesn't have time to celebrate as my shot hits him immediately in the back. I move my attention to the two figures sprinting towards our flag and somehow, I am not surprised to see Tris is one of them. I can't help but smile. I knew she would be good at this.

They both reach for the flag, and I hear Christina speak. "Come on, Tris," she says. "You're already the hero of the day. Let me get it."

The look she gives Tris is extremely patronizing and without a second thought I shoot her in the side.

"What the hell!" she exclaims before looking around.

I watch as Tris reaches once more for the flag. I freeze for a second torn between wanting her to succeed and not wanting to lose to Four, again. My hesitation gives her just enough time to jump, her fingers a mere inch away from the edge of the flag. I take a shot but miss, hitting the tree as Tris' feet meet the ground, flag in hand.

I should be pissed, but I can't help the feeling of pride that is bubbling up in my chest. Her eyes grow wide, like she can't believe what she's done, and a huge smile spreads across her face. I step out from my position and our eyes lock. Her grin grows wider, and I realize that I'm smiling too.

Chapter Text

The next morning, my alarm goes off far too early. Capture the flag went late and by the time I got back to my apartment it was well past three in the morning. I am way too tired to deal with the initiates today and thinking about losing to Four AGAIN has put me in a shitty mood. Am I proud of Tris' accomplishment? Yes. Am I pissed off that it meant I lost? Also, yes.

I down two cups of coffee and rush through eating before making my way to the training room. Today, the initiates will be learning how to aim by throwing knives. I'm first to arrive at the training room and I take a moment to appreciate the silence and solitude. I retrieve the training materials from storage and start setting up the targets. Next, I place a table beside the entrance to the room. As I begin methodically placing the knives across the table the door opens beside me announcing Four's arrival.

He nods at me, and I grunt in response. I finish putting out the knives wordlessly as Four makes his way to the centre of the room. The anger I feel from last night's loss builds inside of me and I take an extra moment to examine my knife placement before turning to face him.

As I approach him, he opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by the sound of the initiates entering the room. I turn and watch as they file in and huddle up in front of Four and me. When the last of the initiates have gathered, I speak.

"Tomorrow will be the last day of stage one," I say. "You will resume fighting then. Today, you'll be learning how to aim. Everyone pick up three knives and pay attention while Four demonstrates the correct technique for throwing them."

I let out an exasperated sigh as no one moves.

"Now!" I bark.

The initiates scramble for the daggers before returning to their places in front of me.

Four moves towards the nearest target and takes a moment to ready himself. He proceeds to throw the knives with perfect precision. Each one hitting the target.

Watching him reminds me of our time as initiates. Everything always came easy to him. Shooting range? Easy. Knife throwing? Easy. Hand to hand combat? Easy. Fear simulations? Somehow…easy.

I, on the other hand, had to work my ass off during initiation. Instead of making friends and hanging out during free time I did drills, worked out and spent hours mentally dissecting my fears, trying to prepare myself. My hard work paid off and the skills I have now are proof of that, but it still wasn't enough to beat him.

"Line up!" I order.

The initiates rush to line themselves up with a target each. Most start to throw their knives immediately, but as I pace behind them, I notice Tris has yet to throw a single knife. I stop and watch her as she works to perfect her stance, mirroring that of Four's. Once satisfied with her position, she raises her right arm, hand empty, and goes through the motions of throwing a knife. It's clear that she recognizes that this exercise is not about force or speed, but precision.

I continue watching her as she "practices" throwing a few more times.

"I think the Stiff's taken too many hits to the head!" remarks Peter. "Hey Stiff, remember what a knife is?"

While I resist the urge to smack Peter in the back of the head, Tris doesn't appear to react to his goading at all. Instead, she takes a knife in hand and goes through the motions but doesn't release it. Though her preparation is impressive, I can't help but note that this display is much more Erudite than it is Dauntless. My stomach flutters and I swallow hard at the thought.

There is no doubt that Tris has shown her dauntless side. By being the first jumper she immediately demonstrated bravery and fearlessness. The way she persists, never giving up and her refusal to back down from any challenge…Dauntless through and through. But this display…this is Erudite. And after capture the flag I overhead the initiates talking. Climbing that Ferris Wheel may have been Dauntless, but the reason behind it, the strategy Tris came up with…well that…that was an Erudite level of smart.

Dauntless and Erudite.

It's a combination I know well.

I start to pace again, trying to dispel the small feeling of fear that this realization has triggered inside of me.

Tris continues her motions, but this time she lets go of the knife. It doesn't stick, but she is the first person to hit the target.

"Hey, Peter," she says. "Remember what a target is?"

I hold back a snort but can't help the small smile that tugs at the corner of my lips.

After half an hour, Al, the fumbling Candor, is the only initiate who has yet to hit the target. I watch as he repeatedly misses, his knives clattering to the floor or bouncing off the wall. I rub my hand down my face and roll my eyes. The rest of the initiates retrieve their knives from the board while Al hunts the floor for his.

They start again, and again, Al misses. This is just pathetic.

I march towards him. "How slow are you, Candor? Do you need glasses? Should I move the target closer to you?"

His face turns red as he throws another knife. This one sails a few feet to the right of the target, spins and hits the wall.

"What was that, initiate?" I say quietly, leaning closer to him.

"It – it slipped," says Al.

"Well, I think you should go get it," I say. I scan the room and notice the rest of the initiates have stopped throwing their knives. "Did I tell you to stop?"

His incompetence is making me irrationally angry, I know this. My frustrations from losing last night have put me on edge and while my anger may be misplaced I will not back down.

Knives start to hit the board.

"Go get it?" Al's eyes are wide. "But everyone's still throwing."

"And?"

"And I don't want to get hit."

"I think you can trust your fellow initiates to aim better than you." I say. "Go get your knife."

"No," he says.

His non-compliance fuels my anger, and it no longer feels misplaced.

"Why not? Are you afraid?"

"Of getting stabbed by an airborne knife?" says Al. "Yes, I am."

Some kind of Dauntless he is.

"Everyone stop!" I shout.

The knives stop, and so does all conversation.

"Clear out the ring," I look at Al. "All except you."

The initiates move to the edge of the room.

"Stand in front of the target," I say.

Al needs to learn that facing your fears is a mandatory part of being Dauntless. What is it our manifesto says again? We believe in facing fear no matter what the cost to our comfort, our happiness, or even our sanity.

Well, he's not going to be comfortable or happy with what I'm about to make him do.

Al's hands shake as he walks back to the target.

"Hey, Four." I look back at him. "Give me a hand here."

Four scratches one of his eyebrows with a knife and walks over to me.

"You're going to stand there as he throws those knives," I say to Al, "Until you learn not to flinch."

While I would never admit it to him, Four is an impeccable shot. I know he won't hit the boy. My current anger, however, is begging to be released and I can't trust myself not to stab Al. Besides, this whole thing is bound to make Four uncomfortable and I'm not above finding pleasure in his discomfort.

"Is this really necessary?" says Four. He sounds bored, but the tension in his face and body betrays him.

Why does he insist on continuously pissing me off? I stare him down, waiting for him to relent. Just fucking do it.

"I have the authority here, remember?" I say to him quietly. "Here, and everywhere else."

Fours face turns an unmistakable shade of crimson as he turns to face Al.

"Stop it."

Now what? I turn to the owner of the voice and see Tris staring Four down.

"Any idiot can stand in front of a target," she says. "It doesn't prove anything except that you're bullying us. Which, as I recall, is a sign of cowardice."

What is she doing?

I breathe in deeply through my nose and count to five, a tactic my mother taught me when I was very young. Being quick to anger has always been a flaw of mine. I take a moment to contemplate my next move, with Tris involved I don't want to end up doing anything I'll regret.

Why is she trying to protect him? Why is she being so…selfless? Why is she being so...Abnegation? I push that thought away.

Maybe this has gone too far...but I can't back down now, and I can't let the other initiates think it's okay to challenge me. Maybe I can get her to back down.

"Then this should be easy for you," I say. "If you're willing to take his place."

Give it up Tris, I will her.

I internalize my frustration as she weaves her way through the crowd towards to target.

Stubborn.

"There goes your pretty face," hisses Peter. "Oh, wait. You don't have one."

I once again have to supress the urge to smack him.

Tris stands in front of the board. Her head doesn't reach the centre of the target. I watch as her eyes move to the knives in Four's hands.

I debate taking his place, if I throw the knives I am in control of her safety. I think better of it. I trusted Four not to hit Al…with his aim and the way he's been looking at Tris lately…he won't hit her either. She'll be fine.

"If you flinch," Four says, slowly. "Al takes your place. Understand?"

Tris nods. I hold my breath. My body tenses as Four throws the first knife. It buries itself into the board half a foot away from Tris' cheek.

He's going easy on her.

While grateful that the knife didn't hurt her, I can't help but be annoyed at his obvious feelings for her.

"You about done, Stiff?" asks, Four.

Walk away Tris.

"No," she says, shaking her head.

I hold back a sigh.

"Eyes open, then."

A pang of jealousy hits me when I realize that they haven't broken eye contact since Tris first made it to the target.

The next knife hits the target above her head, it's closer than the last one.

"Come on, Stiff," he says. "Let someone else stand there and take it."

He's doing what I can't. Trying to get her to walk away and let Al take his rightful place. I'd be glad – if I didn't know he was doing it out of affection for her.

Four pulls his arm back and lets the knife fly. It goes straight towards her, spinning, blade over handle. The blade hits the board next to her ear, and I watch a small amount of blood drip down from it.

This ends now.

I make my way over to Tris.

"I would love to stay and see if the rest of you are as daring as she is," I say, "but I think that's enough for today."

The initiates bolt towards the door and I turn to face Tris. She is looking passed me, her angry eyes locked on Four.

"We are done for the day," I say giving him a pointed look.

He stands still, refusing to break eye contact with Tris.

"Leave," I yell. His gaze moves from Tris to me and then back to Tris. It is clear that he doesn't want to leave her alone with me. He glares at me before finally leaving the room.

"What the hell?!" the girl beside me explodes.

Her tone, volume and language surprise me. I didn't think she had it in her!

"What the hell, me? What the hell, you!" I yell back, turning to face her. She is closer than I expect, our faces meet mere inches apart. Our closeness makes me lose my train of thought and my voice lowers when it returns. "Why didn't you just let Al deal with the consequences of his actions? Why did you have to go and challenge me like that?"

I expect her to back down, but she continues unbothered.

"You had Four throw knives at me!" she says angrily, her eyes fixed on mine.

Her defiance should upset me, it's been a long time since anyone has stood up to me like this, but as I feel her warm breath on my skin and notice the rise and fall of her chest between us, I can barely think. I will myself to take a step back from her, to get some space and clear my head, but my body has a mind of its own and I stay in place.

"Those knives weren't meant for you," I start, my voice steady. "They were meant for Al. You brought this on yourself when you decided to stand up for that bumbling moron."

"Someone had to. You were bullying him," her voice is low, but the anger is still there.

"I was teaching him a lesson," I respond.

"Oh yeah? And what lesson was that? If we disobey you, we get projectiles thrown at our heads?" she spits back.

"You're smarter than that Tris. You should be able to figure it out. What is the definition of Dauntless?" I ask her.

She takes a step back and I immediately miss the warmth of her body near mine. She turns to look at the targets in silence and my eyes follow her. I can't help but notice that training has been kind to her. Her new muscles have transformed her body, creating curves where straight lines used to be.

"Fearless," she states simply, and I am broken from my thoughts. "Being Dauntless means being fearless."

Right, Al. We're still talking about Al.

"When I asked Al if he was afraid, what did he say?" I question her.

"He said he was," she replies quietly.

"So, in your opinion, was Al being Dauntless?"

"No," her voice is barely a whisper.

"Exactly, so I gave him a chance to show that he could be Dauntless, because being dauntless means facing your fears even if it makes you uncomfortable or unhappy. But then you had to go and open your mouth, and I just couldn't let you get away with that."

She turns to face me again, her anger disappearing.

"You told me you cared about my safety and then you go and let Four throw sharp, pointy objects at me. I wouldn't exactly call that safe." Her voice wavers slightly, but she is calm.

"If I had let you get away with challenging me, I would have lost the respect of the initiates and I would have been giving you special treatment because there's no way in Hell I would let anyone else get away with it." I answer honestly. "And besides, you weren't in any danger."

"Wasn't in any danger? Knives, Eric, knives at my face!" Her voice is raised, but the fire from earlier is absent.

"You saw Four throw the knives at the beginning of training. Did he miss the target? Even once?" I raise my index finger to punctuate my point.

"No," she says simply.

"And I'm not blind, I see the way he looks at you."

The way you look at each other, I nearly add.

"What?" she responds, eyes wide.

"You can't be that dense, Stiff, he's into you," I roll my eyes.

"What are you talking about? He hates me. He thinks I'm pathetic. Or haven't you noticed? He left me out of the first round of fights, walked away during my fight with Peter and just now, he cut me."

I can't help but snort at her naivety.

"Trust me, he has a thing for you."

A number of emotions flit across her face as her eyes look everywhere but at me. She shakes her head and wraps her arms around herself before opening her mouth once more.

"This is all beside the point."

I look at her in disbelief but allow the change of subject.

"Fine, lets get back to the point then. Do you agree that Al needs to learn how to be fearless?"

"Yes…but…"

"Do you agree that trusting someone who is throwing knives at you takes bravery?" I persist.

"Yes…but…."

"Do you agree that my methods make sense? That having Al stand in front of the target would help him learn to be fearless?" I continue.

"There are better ways, Eric," she insists.

"Do you really believe that?" I pause for her to reply but she stays silent. "Let me ask you something else. If you were being attacked…in the real world, not in training….and it was just you and Al, would you trust him to have your back? To not run and hide?"

"Well…" she starts but trails off.

"Answer the question, Tris," I press.

"No, okay…no I wouldn't trust him," she resigns as her arms to drop to her sides.

"Exactly. This is Dauntless, we train soldiers. And being a soldier means facing your fears head on, it means being brave even when it's hard."

Our eyes lock in silence for a minute. When it seems like neither of us has anything more to say, I break away and start to collect the knives. Soon after, a small sigh and quiet footsteps make me think she has left, but when I look up, she is taking down the used targets. We work together, quietly restoring the room. Not another word is spoken.

It's the final day of fights, the last chance for the initiates to improve their rankings before the first round of cuts. Having woken up before my alarm I was able to get a workout in and shower with plenty of time to spare. For the first time in weeks, I actually had time for breakfast in the dining hall.

As I walk through the pit, ready to get this last round of fights over with, I noticed Tris, downcast eyes, shuffling quickly towards the nearby shops. Her outfit catches my eye, a black knee length dress that clings to all of her curves. Not exactly the most practical outfit for hand-to-hand combat. A dress like that needs to be worn with confidence but Tris is looking anything but. She ducks into the clothing shop, and I am drawn towards her.

Arriving at the entrance, I see her violently flipping through racks of pants, a top on a hanger already dangling from her arm. Walk away. You need to stop getting involved. She's just another initiate.

Ignoring my own warning, I approach her.

"Tris?" I say gently hoping to avoid startling her.

Despite my caution, she jumps and the shirt in her arms clatters to the ground. Her eyes shoot towards mine, wide and glistening with tears that are threatening to fall.

"Tris, did something happen? What's going on?" I ask, stepping towards her.

"Nothing," she responds, her voice is hard, but her hands shake as she bends down to pick up the discarded shirt. "Just leave me alone."

I consider doing as she asks and walking away, but a tugging in my chest draws me forward and I find myself next to her. She refuses to look at me, busying herself with choosing a pair of pants from the rack.

In an attempt to get her attention, I place my hand on her shoulder. She flinches, jerking away from my touch. She looks afraid and I take a step back. I'm used to this expression, used to people being afraid of me. It can even make me feel good, powerful, seeing them shrink before my eyes. But Tris has never looked at me like this and it doesn't feel good. 

"Don't touch me," she says through gritted teeth before turning and practically jogging to the cash.

I stay where I am as she checks out and retreats from the store.

Chapter Text

I take my time walking to the training room. A few of the initiates pass by me on the way. What could have happened? Why was she in a dress at 7:30 in the morning? Why was she near tears? Why did my touch make her flinch away? There are too many unanswered questions. I push them from my mind as I enter the training room, preparing myself to judge the fights.

Tris shows up not long after my arrival. Her dress has been replaced by a tight, wide V-neck long sleeve shirt and black paneled leather leggings. The frightened, insecure girl from the shops is gone and in her place stands a confident, angry looking Tris with her head held high.

Our eyes meet briefly, and I give her a look that says "what the fuck"? Her expression softens as she looks at me, but as soon as we break contact her guard goes back up.

I turn my attention towards the blackboard as Four finishes writing out the roster.

Will and Myra

Christina and Al

Edward and Peter

Tris and Molly

The first pair – Will and Myra – stand across from each other in the arena. For a second, they both shuffle back and forth, one jerking an arm forward and then retracting it, the other kicking and missing. I notice Four, across the room, yawn and for once we seem to share the same sentiment. You'd think with it being their last fight before cuts they'd try harder to impress.

Eventually, Will takes down Myra and its Christina and Al's turn to make their way to the ring. The fight doesn't last long. Christina gets in a few hard hits to Al's face before he falls to the ground and stays down. I shake my head in frustration. What the hell made this idiot choose Dauntless? And why is he practically begging to be cut?

Edward and Peter take longer. They may be the two best fighters but the disparity between them is still noticeable. Edward is faster and smarter than Peter and in the end Peter falls.

The last fight is between Tris and Molly. Tris walks to the arena, her eyes fixed on the centre of the room. Molly moves to stand across from Tris.

"Was that a birthmark I saw on your left butt cheek?" Molly says smirking. "God, you're pale, Stiff."

Birthmark? Butt cheek? What the fuck is she talking about?

My eyes snap towards Tris in search of an explanation I know she can't give right now. Her hard eyes remain fixed on Molly.

Molly starts towards her and throws her weight into a punch. As Molly's body shifts forward, Tris ducks and drives her fist into Molly's stomach, right over her bellybutton. Before Molly can retaliate, Tris slips past her, hands up, ready for the next attempt.

Molly's smirk is now gone as she runs at Tris who darts out of the way. Tris blocks Molly's next punch with her forearm, drawing a frustrated groan from Molly's throat. Molly goes in once more, attempting to kick Tris in the side but loses her balance as Tris dodges it.

Taking advantage of Molly's moment of weakness, Tris rushes at her, forcing her elbow up into Molly's face. But Molly is already moving, and Tris' elbow only grazes her chin before Molly punches her in the ribs. The two girls take a moment to catch their breath, and I can tell by the look on Tris' face that she is considering her next move.

Part of me is proud of the progress Tris has made, but the other part is worried about whatever prompted this new show of aggression.

Their eyes meet as Tris aims an uppercut below Molly's bellybutton. Molly gasps and Tris sweeps her legs out from under her. The larger girls body falls, hard, to the ground and I expect Tris to step away, but she doesn't. Instead, she pulls her foot back and kicks Molly hard, in the ribs.

Molly curls into a ball to try to protect her side as Tris continues kicking her. Once in the stomach and then in the face. Blood springs from Molly's nose and spreads over her face. I know I should stop this, but I'm frozen in place, my eyes glued to the ring. What the hell is going on? Where did this come from?

Four makes his way to the ring as Tris kicks Molly once more, this time in the chest. Tris pulls back her foot again but this time Four is there, stopping her. I watch as Tris stares at Molly's bloody body, her breath ragged.

"You won," Four mutters. "Stop."

Tris wipes the sweat from her forehead. Four just stares at her, looking as alarmed as I feel.

"I think you should leave," he says. "Take a walk."

"I'm fine," she says.

"Take a walk initiate," this time, it's an order.

I look around, to find a sea of confused and slightly terrified faces.

Tris glares at Four in irritation before making her way to the door. I follow her.

By the time I make it through the training room door, Tris is already halfway down the hallway. Her pace is fast, her hands balled into fists by her sides.

"Tris!" I call after her. I half expect her to ignore me and continue charging down the hallway, but she surprises me by stopping.

She doesn't say anything, nor does she turn around, but she stays in place as I catch up to her.

"What the hell was that?" I ask, now facing her.

"What!" she says, angrily. "I thought you'd like that. No conceding right? Fight until one of you is unable to continue. That's what you told us, isn't it?"

She's not wrong and if this fight hadn't been fueled by raw, animal emotion I would agree with her, but this was different. This wasn't fighting for position, this was fighting for dominance. If Four hadn't stopped her who knows how far she would have gone.

"Don't throw my words back at me. You know what I mean. That girl in there…that girl without mercy, with murder in her eyes…that's not you Tris. Something happened. That fight was personal. Tell me what Molly did to you," I plead.

Instead of responding, she clenches her jaw and tries to barge passed me. I grab her arm and swing her around only to be hit in the cheek by a surprisingly strong right hook. I shake it off, still gripping her arm.

"Let go of me!" she bellows, but I refuse.

"Tell me what happened," I yell back, staring her down.

She throws another punch, but this time I'm ready and I block it easily. She goes for another, this one is aimed at my stomach, I step back minimizing the impact. I let go of her left arm and she immediately swings it, hitting me just above the bellybutton. The impact is marginal, and I stand unyielding. Another hit, this one even weaker than the last. She continues to hit me as I stand still, letting her energy fade and her breathing become ragged.

When she finally stops, I hear her breath hitch, and she looks up with tears in her eyes. I can tell she is about to fall apart. For the first time since our interaction began, I let my eyes lift from her and realize we have attracted a crowd.

"Don't you people have places to be?" I roar. Most of them scatter at my outburst, but a few stragglers remain. I let out a frustrated grunt as I grab Tris' hand and drag her back towards the training room to the equipment storage room across the hall.

I open the door and guide her inside, closing it behind me. When I turn to face her, tears are streaming down her face, and I don't know what to do. While running away as fast as I can seems like a good option, I can't do it. Do I hug her? Would she accept a hug from me? I don't even know the last time I hugged anyone...

Before I can make a decision, she speaks.

"I'm sorry," she says simply, staring at the ground.

"For what?"

She looks up at me, tears still falling, eyes rimmed red and you would never know that just moments ago this girl was completely consumed by anger.

"For being weak. For breaking down. I hate this," she stops for a second, hiccupping. "I hate that I'm crying, and I HATE that I'm crying in front of you."

"Tris, what happened? Please, just talk to me," I practically beg.

"It's embarrassing," she replies, turning to face away from me.

"Well, whatever happened, it's obviously affecting you…a lot. If you won't talk to me fine, but you need to tell someone. You can't just keep it bottled up."

Not knowing what happened would drive me crazy, but she needs to move passed this, even if I can't be the one to help her.

"Do you want me to get one of your friends?" I ask.

She snorts.

"Or…I could get Four?" I try, through gritted teeth, the words causing me physical pain.

The laugh that follows echoes through the small room.

"Why are you so stuck on me and Four?" she says, turning to face me once more.

"We already talked about this," I reply.

She rolls her eyes. "No, I don't want you to go get Four. I'll tell you what happened. But don't you dare laugh at me."

She sits down on an inverted bucket, looking at her hands as I lean back on the door behind me.

"This morning, after I showered, I realized the outfit I brought with me to the bathroom didn't fit anymore. So, I made my way back to the dorms in my towel and everyone was gone except for Peter, Drew and Molly," she starts. "I tried to ignore them and just get to my bunk…but they were snickering and all I had time to do was grab that dress I was wearing this morning before they were on me."

She stops for a second, rubbing her hands down her thighs. Her eyes flutter closed as she takes a deep breath.

"Peter blocked my way and they just stood there making fun of me. When I tried to duck under Peter's arm to get out of there…."she trails off, looking up at me with wet eyes.

I nod, encouraging her to continue. "Peter…he…he ripped my towel off of me…and they…they just stood there while I was naked, laughing at me."

The tears that were threatening to fall roll down her face and my blood pressure rises. My anger comes on fast and strong.

"I'm going to fucking kill them," I say, fighting to keep my breath steady as my hands clench into fists.

Tris' eyes meet mine and I don't know how she was expecting me to react, but I can tell this wasn't it.

"Eric…" she says softly, brows knitted, shaking her head slightly. "It's over. Okay. I'm fine."

"No Tris, it's not over until they all pay for what they did," my voice is calm and steady, and I think it scares her more than if I had yelled it.

I turn to grip the door handle, ready to hunt them down, but stop when I feel her hand on mine.

"No," she says. "It's over. I'm fine. Didn't you see me in there? Molly paid for what she did, and I showed the rest of them what I'm capable of."

I let go of the handle and turn to face her, her hand still holding mine. "It's not enough…Peter and Drew."

She cuts me off, bringing her other hand to rest on my cheek. "Let it go. I feel better…fighting Molly…talking to you…it made me feel better. Okay?"

She strokes my jaw, and I start to relax under her touch.

"But Tris…" I begin.

"Let it go, Eric."

Her eyes are soft and kind, her touch distracts me. I take five deep breaths in an out to steady myself before nodding in agreement. "Okay."

She sighs softly and leans her forehead against my chest, dropping her hand from my face and resting it on my side. Tension runs through my body, and it takes a moment for me react. Her scent calms me, and I wrap my free arm around her waist, leaning into her.

We stay this way for a few minutes before she raises her head and looks up at me. I release my hold on her.

"Thank you," she says with a small smile, taking a step back.

"We should probably get going," I reply.

Shifting a bit into the room, I turn and open the door. She leaves first and I wait a few seconds before exiting as well.

I close the door behind me and glance down the hall just in time to see Tris disappear around the corner. I hear a cough to my left and look over to find Four standing next to the training room door, arms crossed, glaring. This is all I need. I raise my eyebrows, waiting for him to move or speak but he does neither.

"Got something to say?" I question.

He steps towards me, positioning himself entirely too close for my liking.

"I don't know what you think you are doing with her, but I'm watching you," he threatens before turning and walking away.

Today is visiting day and while most people are excited to have a chance to see the family they left behind, mine will not come. My mother was very young when she got pregnant. So young that she hadn't yet chosen a faction. Her family didn't support her decision to have me so when the day came, she chose to leave her birth faction behind and start a new life in Erudite. She thought it was the right decision, but at sixteen she wasn't prepared for the struggles that were to come.

Things were okay at first and my mother did her best to take care of me, but Erudite was no more welcoming of a teen mom than her own parents had been and her mental health began to deteriorate. She turned to quick fixes to get her through the pain and by fourteen I was the closest thing to an adult in our household. During my last few years in Erudite Jeanine took a liking to me. It was gradual, but I started to crave her attention. In retrospect, my attachment to Jeanine was just a pathetic attempt to get the maternal love my mother was incapable of giving me.

But Jeanine was no mother. She lacked the compassion and nurturing nature one would expect of a mother and no matter what I did she never gave me the affection I craved. So, when my day came to choose, the resentful, angry teen that I had become decided to run away and create a new, better life for myself in Dauntless.

Not long after choosing Dauntless, I found out that my mom overdosed and subsequently passed away. But I had made my choice, and I couldn't let it affect me. Instead of losing myself in grief, I worked even harder during initiation, hell bent on coming first to ensure my place in leadership. And even though I failed at coming first I still made leadership. The youngest Dauntless leader in history. For the first time ever, I was proud of myself. I was no longer Eric, son of the teen mom turned druggy or Eric, Jeanine's little pet. No, I was Eric, Dauntless leader.

I thought I had escaped my old life, but I couldn't escape Jeanine. After my appointment to leadership, she approached Max and convinced him that I would be perfect for her special assignment. With Jeanine's plans to rid the factions of Divergents already common knowledge among Dauntless leadership, Max agreed, and I was brought up to speed. Having grown up being taught how dangerous Divergents are to our society and not wanting to disappoint Max, I accepted my assignment without hesitation. Unfortunately, by accepting, I unwittingly agreed to be back under Jeanine's thumb, and I've been stuck there ever since.

So, while everyone else is enjoying time spent with their loved ones, I'll be avoiding the Pit at all costs. After prepping the transfers for visiting day, I'll head straight to the leadership wing for my meeting with Lauren to determine the rankings of the dauntless born initiates. Being from a long line of dauntless borns, today is just another day for her. After that I'll meet with Four. I don't know much about Four's past, but I know that he transferred from Abnegation and like me, has always spent visiting day alone.

I really should have made someone else deal with the initiates this morning. When I walk into the dorms the room is silent, but everyone appears to be ready for the day.

"Attention!" I announce, running my hand through my hair. "I want to give you some advice about today. If by some miracle your families do come to visit you…" I scan their worried faces. "…which I doubt, it is best not to seem too attached. That will make it easier for you, and easier for them. We also take the phrase 'faction before blood' very seriously here. Attachment to your family suggests you aren't entirely pleased with your faction, which would be shameful. Understand?"

It might be a bit harsh, and that last part might not strictly speaking be true, but this day will lead to disappointment for many, and they may as well be prepared for it.

With a quick glance at Tris, who seems to be lost in thought, I turn and leave.

The meeting with Lauren is fairly quick and I expect the same of the one with Four…if he would ever get here. I've been waiting for him in my office for almost 20 minutes and I really don't feel like trying to track him down right now especially since everywhere I can think to look for him would force me through the Pit.

I walk out of my office and almost run into Sam who is looking down at a file in his hands. "Have you seen Four?" I ask, annoyed.

"Last I saw, he was lurking around the Pit," he replies, looking up from his folder.

"For fuck sakes," I exclaim before slamming my door closed and stomping in the direction of the Pit.

I hear the noise from the crowded Pit before I see it. I stop at the end of the hallway and take a minute to prepare myself for the onslaught of people. When I finally force myself forward, I see him almost immediately. Jackass. My feet drag me over to him and I have to fight the urge to deck him.

I'm about to bitch him out when I notice the two women in front of him. On his left is Tris and next to her a dark-haired woman dressed in grey. I look between them and Four. Is she introducing Four to her mom? The thought makes my already bad mood worse.

"Hello, my name is Natalie," the woman says to me. "I'm Beatrice's mother."

"Hi," I grunt in response, a weak attempt at a smile on my face. "Eric."

"It's nice to meet you," she continues.

I look over at Tris. She seems equal parts nervous and embarrassed. I need to get out of here.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I've been looking for this one," I say, smacking Four's upper arm with the back of my hand, hard. "I was expecting you in my office like 30 minutes ago for our meeting."

"My apologies," he replies with more than a hint of sarcasm. "I got distracted."

He smiles and gestures towards Tris and her mother.

"Please, don't let me keep you," Natalie interjects with a small smile. "It was very nice meeting you both."

"It was nice meeting you too," I reply before turning around. "Come on Four, let's get this over with."

I don't wait for him to respond before walking back from where I came.

"Okay, I don't think there's any question of who the top and bottom ranked initiates are," Four says, sitting across from me in my office.

"Edward and Myra, obviously," I supply.

"Peter is next best and Al, second to last," he continues.

"Will is the clear third place, but after that it's not as black and white. Molly and Christina are tied for fourth and Drew and Tris are tied for third last so we will have to use other criteria to determine their rankings," Four finishes. We both sit in silence contemplating his words.

Tris' ranking shouldn't be a surprise to me, but I can't help the panic that bubbles up in my chest at the thought of her being ranked third to last. Third last is seventh place and seventh place might not be safe.

"Give me your notes. I need to see the numbers," I say breaking the silence as I pull out Lauren's notes from our earlier meeting.

I scan over the dauntless born initiate scores and then compare them to Tris'. They're not far off, but Tris is still outscoring their two lowest ranked initiates and with Al and Myra both having worse scores, Tris is safe.

I let out a sigh of relief and pass Four his notes back.

"What?" he says, confused.

"Don't worry about it," I reply.

He raises his eyebrows and pauses, waiting for a better answer. When I don't give him one, he continues speaking.

"Okay…should we talk about Molly and Christina then?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Molly won her first fight, but after that she was against Edward and Peter, so she lost two in a row, but they were both higher ranked than her and she didn't go down easily. Her last fight was against Tris…and we both know how that one turned out," he stops and gives me a pointed look that I choose to ignore.

"And Christina?" I ask.

"She lost her first two fights but won her second two. So technically she beat Molly in number of fights won, but her opponents weren't as highly ranked which is what evened out their scores."

I think it over for a second. Regardless of their order, the two of them are safe this round.

"Let's go off of the win vs loss totals. Christina ranks higher because she won two fights," I suggest.

"Fair enough. Tris and Drew? We go by total wins vs losses for them too then?" he asks.

"That puts Tris in sixth, right? And Drew in seventh?" I say, confirming what I already know.

"Yeah. So that would make the rankings from top to bottom: Edward, Peter, Will, Christina, Molly, Tris, Drew, Al and then Myra," Four declares.

Al and Myra will be cut. I can't say I'll miss them.

"Works for me."

"So I’ll post the rankings tonight?" he asks.

"Yeah, wait until after dinner," I nod.

With everything worked out, Four stands to leave. When he reaches the door, he stops and turns towards me.

"Before…you compared Lauren's notes and my notes, didn't you?" he questions.

"Yes," I reply simply, busying myself with putting away Lauren's notes.

"You were checking Tris' score, weren't you? Seeing if she was going to be cut?" he asks.

We lock eyes, but I refuse to answer. I really have no interest in discussing Tris with him.

"Is she safe?" he pushes.

"Why do you care, Stiff?" I'm getting pretty sick of his attachment to her.

"Why do you care? Nose?" he bites back.

"Why'd you run away from Abnegation if you were just going to fall for the first Stiff that walks into dauntless?"

His jaw tightens and his posture goes rigid at the mention of his former faction. I've struck a nerve.

He lets out a frustrated sigh. "Just tell me if she's safe."

I consider refusing to answer, making him suffer through waiting alongside the initiates. But from the look on his face I don't think he will leave my office until he gets an answer, and I don't feel like spending another second with him.

"She's safe."

He gives me a quick nod before leaving. I let out an exasperated sigh and slam my open desk draw shut.

Chapter Text

I don't go down to the dining hall, instead, I make myself dinner in my apartment and go over all of my notes from the first stage of initiation in search of anything that will help me determine whether or not any of the initiates are Divergent. I know that stage one is unlikely to reveal any acts of divergence, but I'm hoping that by double checking I'll be more prepared to spot them in stage two.

I've gone through each of their files many times and no matter how many times I go over my notes, no matter how many times I analyze the training sessions and the fights, there is only one initiate that has made me question their actions. Only one initiate who has shown me qualities from not one, not two, but three factions. I wish I could ignore it. I keep trying to convince myself I'm seeing things that aren't there, but it isn't working. If she only showed traits from Abnegation and Dauntless I would understand. It's hard to shake the qualities that are taught to you by your birth faction, but to show Erudite qualities on top of the other two…

Up to this point, looking at her file would be unlikely to spark anyone's interest. Aside from her ranking criteria, it's mainly filled with notes on her progress since she arrived, notable interactions with fellow initiates and behaviour outside of training (like getting a tattoo). Her file reads Dauntless and hopefully it'll stay that way, but I know that in stage two my fears will either be confirmed or dismissed.

I don't remember falling asleep, but I am awoken to a thunderous banging on my door. I shake my head in an attempt to sober myself from sleep and pull a piece of paper off of my cheek as the banging continues.

"I'm coming," I bark before stomping to my door. "What!?"

I'm surprised to see Four and Lauren at my door. "There's been an incident," Lauren starts. "One of the initiates…we need you in the infirmary."

My heart beats fast at the thought of anything happening to Tris.

"Which initiate? What happened?" I ask impatiently as I join the pair. One look at Four and I can tell he knows what I am thinking. He doesn't hesitate to respond.

"Edward, he's been stabbed in the eye," he states solemnly.

"Stabbed?" I ask as we continue walking. "Who the hell stabbed him?"

"We don't know," Lauren chimes in. "We think it was probably another initiate. But we haven't had a chance to talk to any of the others."

"When I first got there, I tried to ask if anyone had seen anything, but they were too shook up to talk. They just kept saying it was too dark," says Four.

We make the rest of the way to the infirmary in silence. The last time I was here was after Tris' fight with Peter.

I push open the infirmary door and the three of us walk over to Edward's sleeping form. I look over at Myra who is sitting on a chair next to him, holding onto his hand so tightly that her knuckles have gone white. The same nurse who took care of Tris is standing on the other side of the bed checking his vitals.

"How is he?" I ask her.

She turns to face us, smiling slightly when she sees me. "Oh, nice to see you again," she says, I can feel Four look at me at her words. "He's stable. We've stopped the bleeding and cleaned out the wound. Luckily the knife wasn't too deep, so there won't be any brain damage, but unfortunately he has lost all sight from that particular eye." She turns to look at Edward before continuing. "We had to sedate him for the removal, he'll likely be out until morning."

Four turns his attention to Myra.

"Myra, wouldn't you be more comfortable in the dormitory?" he asks her.

"No!" she practically yells, standing up. "I won't leave him. He needs me." Her voice is forceful. I've never seen her show this much backbone, she clearly won't be going anywhere.

"Are you sure," Four continues. "You'd probably get more sleep in your bed."

"Its fine, Myra," I interject. "Stay, if that's what you want."

She gives me a curious expression before nodding gratefully and sitting back down. Four glares at me.

"Will he…will he be able to finish initiation?" Myra asks, her voice quiet now.

Four and Lauren both turn to me expectantly. I've never really dealt with something like this before. On one hand, if the fighting portion of initiation was still going Edward would be unlikely to pass…but on the other hand, we are moving on to the simulations and his injury won't affect his outcome.

"That'll be up to him, if he wakes up and he wants to keep going then he is fully welcome to do so," I decide.

I'm not sure what Myra hoped for from my response, but she seems to be pretty conflicted. Her initial look of relief briefly turns to one of disappointed before her face steadies into a neutral expression.

"We should go," I say to Lauren and Four before looking over at the nurse. "Thank you."

Once we are out of the infirmary, it's Lauren who speaks first.

"What are we going to do about this? We have to figure this out, quick! What if they try to attack someone else?"

I run my hand through my hair, tugging at the short strands. I debate waking up Max and seeing what he thinks we should do, but it's the middle of the night and I doubt he will have some magic answer.

"There's nothing we can do about it right now. Like you said, the initiates are shaken up and no one is in the right state of mind to talk about this. I'll head there in the morning, bright and early and see if I can get some answers. I doubt whoever did this will attack twice in one night." The words come out of my mouth easily, but I'm unsure if even I believe them.

Four and Lauren look at me apprehensively but nod in agreement. The walk back to the apartments is silent.

The next morning, I stop by the infirmary to check in on Edward before heading to the dormitory. Our conversation is short. He, in no uncertain terms, has decided not to follow through with initiation. He and Myra discussed it and decided they would both leave and join the factionless together.

When I arrive at the dorms, I am surprised to see that only a few of the initiates are there and only a couple of them are sleeping. I take a quick look around for Tris, but she is nowhere to be found. I panic briefly but push the feeling down. She isn't the only one gone, she's probably fine.

"Listen up, initiates," I say loudly, causing all eyes to turn towards me. "What happened last night is not acceptable. Dauntless is about facing your fears not taking the coward's way out. And let me tell you, there is nothing more cowardly than taking out the competition outside of the ring."

I make a point of looking each of them in the eyes to drive my point home while also gauging their reactions. A few of them fidget while others look down at their shoes. The only one who stands stark straight and looks me in the eye is Peter. Peter who was in second place…now first.

"If anyone has any information about what happened, I will be in my office in the leadership wing." Their eyes flit between each other and they look uneasy. I can't tell if they are nervous about the situation or nervous about the idea of talking to me. "If you would rather talk to Four or Lauren, that's fine too. They will be around. And if you see your friends, tell them the same."

I turn towards Drew and Peter. "You two, strip Edward and Myra's beds and tie up their things in their sheets. They will not be returning."

I walk over to the scoreboard and quickly adjust it, running a line through Myra and Edwards names and moving Peter up into first place.

Unsurprisingly, no one comes to me about the incident. I call down to the control room and request the footage from last night, but in the darkness and with the angle of the cameras it is impossible to see anything. My gut tells me that it was Peter, but without any witnesses or tape to back up my hunch there isn't much I can do. Hopefully he is satisfied with his handy work and will leave everyone else alone.

This morning, the initiates will be starting their second stage of initiation. In stage two, they will be injected with a special serum that will induce hallucinations that force them to face their fears. The serum also contains a tiny transmitter. The transmitter will send data to a computer which will translate the initiate's hallucination into images. The recording will then be forwarded to the Dauntless administrators and myself for review.

I still shutter at the thought of going through the fear simulations as an initiate. For me, it was by far the hardest part of initiation. Running, fighting, knife throwing, shooting…those are all physical skills. Skills that were easy enough for me to master with practice. But facing my fears in what felt like a very real way…that was much more difficult.

Growing up, my emotions were embarrassingly strong. At first, I had a very difficult time controlling them. Eventually I figured out how to look indifferent on the outside no matter how I was feeling on the inside. But the inside feelings never went away, so when faced with my personal fears within my own mind, there was no way of acting indifferent. Instead, my emotions completely overtook me. After my first round of simulations, I was left cold and shaking.

That day, I went back to the dorms and forced myself to think about everything that scared me. I was able to work out most of my fears and I proceeded to spend every waking hour playing out different scenarios in my mind so that I would be prepared for the next simulation. It worked…more or less…I was never as good at getting through the sims as Four, but once I was prepared for each one of my fears outside of the sim, I was able to make my way through them fairly quickly.

During the first round of simulations, the initiates will only be exposed to one of their fears. This will be just enough for them to understand what to expect in the coming weeks and get a handle on how the simulations work.

While they are starting their sims, I have a morning shift in the control room, an afternoon meeting with Max and then it will be time to review the footage.

Per usual, the control room is mostly tedious. I flit through the city but don't find anything of interest. After that I switch over to the hallway outside of where the simulations are taking place. Most of the initiates look scared on the way in, but nowhere near as bad as they look coming out. I notice Tris enter but not exit. Once I review the footage, I see that she exited through the back door after a short conversation with Four. I wonder what happened. Most of the initiates finish their first simulation before lunch, but a few of them will have to return after lunch to do theirs.

After eating lunch in the Pit, I make my way back towards the leadership wing for my meeting with Max. I don't know exactly what Max wants to talk about, but I do know it has something to do with Jeanine and her plans to take the government from Abnegation. It's no secret that the Erudite leadership feel as though they should be in charge of the government. It's been that way since before I was born, but to actually try to overthrow Abnegation and take over? Well, that's new.

Jeanine's plans are not widely known. Only those within Erudite and Dauntless leadership are aware that she is working on a way to make this our new reality. Right now, I'm only being informed on a need-to-know basis, so if Max wants to have a full meeting with me about this then they must be getting closer to executing their plan.

It doesn't take long for me to arrive at Max's door.

"Come in," he calls before I have a chance to knock twice.

When I walk in, Max gets up from his desk and closes the door behind me.

"Have a seat."

I do as I'm told and sit in one of the large black chairs in front of his desk. He resumes his position across from me.

"How are things going with your Divergent hunt?" he asks. I can tell he doesn't really care what my answer is, asking is just his way of starting our conversation.

"Alright," I reply. "Nothing conclusive yet. We'll see what reviewing the fear simulation footage shows me."

Max has never really cared about the Divergent hunt. He doesn't believe Divergents are to be feared. He is of the mind that non-Divergents out weight Divergents by too many for them to pose any real threat.

"Anyway, we both know I didn't call you in here to talk about Divergents," he starts. "As you know, Jeanine has been working on a plan to position herself at the head of the government and free Abnegation of their governmental duties."

I nod.

"So, her first step is to create doubt among the other factions. Her hope is that she can first make the factions doubt Abnegation's abilities to govern and then convince them that Erudite is the best choice to replace them. She has been working with a trusted reporter to release news articles that will put Abnegation's priorities into question and make people doubt their selflessness. I mean, it can't be that hard. No one is that selfless. They have to be keeping secrets…holding out on us."

He pauses for a moment, almost as though he is lost in thought before shaking his head and continuing.

"Now, Abnegation is unlikely to give up their position easily, so she is also working on a way to take what she wants by force. A way to turn Dauntless into the army she believes is necessary for her plan to work."

"What do you mean turn us into an army? Excuse my antiquated language here, but isn't that essentially what we are, the Faction Police Force? What exactly is she planning that would require an army? If four out of five of the factions are on board then wouldn't Abnegation just concede?" I question.

"How do I put this, Jeanine doesn't necessarily care whether or not all the factions are on board. And she isn't a patient woman. Yes, she is trying to instill doubt, but whether we are united or not, she has every intention of taking out Abnegation leadership," he replies.

"So, when you say taking out, you mean…killing them? Jeanine wants to murder the entire government?" I ask apprehensively.

Max just shrugs.

"She figures that by taking them out it will devastate the entire faction, and a devastated faction will be forced to focus on rebuilding rather than banding together to rise up against her." He says it as though it's logical and it should be since it's Jeanine's reasoning, but it seems a bit dramatic to me.

"Okay…so how is she planning to turn us into her army then? How is she going to convince all of our members to go to war for her?"

He sighs and leans back in his chair.

"For now, that's need to know. There are still some kinks being worked out…but you'll find out soon enough. I just wanted to let you know that things are coming down the pipes and it won't be long now."

I could argue with him, try to convince him to tell me, but to be honest, based on what I know so far, I'm not sure I even want to know what Jeanine's big plan is.

"Keep working on your job," he continues. "Jeanine is relying on you to track down those Divergents. She hasn't told me what she needs them for. To be honest I had just assumed she was killing them, but I'm starting to get the feeling there's more to it. Has she told you?"

His question catches me off guard. I hadn't really thought much further than Divergents are bad, catch the Divergents and deliver them to Jeanine. Like Max, I had also assumed she was killing them…but maybe I was wrong.

"No," I say. "She just keeps repeating the same thing about them being a threat to society, a threat to our way of life, and all that. She's not much for details…"

"You're not wrong there. Anyways, that's all for today. Just be prepared for anything and I'll fill you in as soon as I can."

I nod as I grip the arms of my chair and push myself up into a standing position. Without another word, I turn and leave.

03:00

I blink hoping the number will change.

03:00

God damnit!

03:00

The next fastest time: 09:00.

I hover the mouse over the file. Each file is labelled with the initiates name and the time it took them to make it through the simulation.

BeatricePrior03:00

I've been avoiding it all night. I don't want to open it. I'm too afraid that it will confirm what I've suspected for a while now, but it's the last file I have to review, and I have to look at it. I have to know for sure one way or the other.

I double click the file and watch as the pixels form a picture, Tris comes into view. She stands in a field of dry grass that goes up to her waist. A large black crow lands on her shoulder, she immediately attempts to bat it away, but it doesn't budge. She tries again but to no avail. She lets out a frustrated cry as thunder rumbles.

The sky darkens and a flock of crows storm towards her, each one squawking as it approaches. The crows descend around her, and she tries to run but her feet appear stuck in place. She screams and shivers run down my arms at the sound. The crows continue to attack her, talons tearing at her skin beaks drawing blood.

I watch as she falls to the ground and covers her head with her arms. Her crying is now accompanied by a steady stream of sobs, and I have to force myself to continue watching the screen.

"Help," she wails. "Help!"

The crows continue to peck, her skin now covered in scratches and blood. I can hear her choking within the swarm.

"Help," she sobs again. "Help."

I know it isn't real, but watching the video makes me feel utterly useless.

A crow pecks persistently against her lips until it finally pushes its head into her mouth. She surprises me by biting down on it. She spits, then clenches her mouth shut as she forces herself up off the ground into a standing position. Her eyes shut and I can see her chest rising and falling as she takes deep breaths in and out. Slowly, she propels herself forward, walking as the crows continue to push and prod at her sides. I watch as her body relaxes more and more with each step.

The screen goes blank.

03:00

I slam my computer shut and let out a frustrated groan.

After checking which simulation room Four is in today, I make my way there and slip in through the back door. It's early, the simulations haven't started yet, but all the initiates are already in the hallway outside waiting to be called in one by one.

"What are you doing here?" his voice is a mix of surprise and irritation.

"I'm here to monitor some of the simulations today," I respond.

Tris' first simulation was fairly conclusive, but I need to know for sure. I need to be 100% sure that my suspicions are correct.

"You really don't need to do that, I'm fine monitoring them on my own," he says, his tone is no longer surprised, just irritated.

"It's really not up to you, is it? These are my initiates and if I say that I'm going to monitor their simulations than I'm going to monitor their simulations," I reply.

He studies my face for a minute, his expression angry with a touch of…fear? Now what could Number Boy possibly be afraid of…unless he has the same suspicions I do.

"Who's up first today?" I ask.

Four looks down at the paper in his hands. "Hayes."

Great, being inside the mind of that psychopath is exactly what I was hoping for from this morning. I could ask Four to just skip ahead to Tris, but I don't want to be quite that obvious.

"Call him in."

Four opens the door and calls Peter into the room. He stops abruptly when he sees me.

"Eric is here to monitor some of the simulations," Four says curtly, gesturing towards me.

"Sit down Hayes," I say.

He does as he is asked and Four injects him quickly with the serum.

I barely pay attention to Peter's simulation. The fear he works through is public embarrassment and the parts I watch are all pretty standard. As his simulation progresses, I glance around the room. The paper Four was holding earlier is now resting on the table next to the monitor. I scan it quickly and notice Tris is up next. Thank God, maybe I can convince Four that I only wanted to watch the initiates with the top times and that way I can leave after Tris.

Luckily, as with his first simulation, Peter makes it through fairly quickly. He jerks awake and sits up straight. His eyes are downcast, his expression that of embarrassment, either from the simulation itself or from the fact that we both just watched him get laughed at, while naked, by fellow initiates. The irony is not lost on me.

"Not bad Hayes," Four says. "Just shy of eight minutes. Solid progress from your first round."

Peter nods at Four then and looks back at me.

"You can go now," I say. I expect him to talk back, he's not usually one for silence, but the hallucination must have unsettled him because he just gets up and leaves.

"Who's up next?" I say to Four once Peter is gone. I expect him to say Tris.

"Christina," he says, walking towards to door.

"No, she's not," I counter.

He stops and turns towards me. "Excuse me?"

"During Peter's sim, I looked at your list, Tris is up next. Not Christina," I reply.

"Well, it's not up to you in which order my initiates complete their second sim and I've decided that Christina is up next," he says through gritted teeth.

"I came here to see the initiates who finished the fastest during the first round. Christina is not one of those initiates. Tris is. Now be a good little trainer and go get her," I say in my most condescending tone.

He stares at me for what feels like a full minute before grudgingly opening the door and shouting for Tris to enter.

I haven't seen her in person since before round one rankings were announced. She looks tired. Her nails are bitten down, and she has developed dark circles under her eyes. She's surprised to see me…but seems to relax a bit at my presence, smiling slightly.

She looks between Four and me. "Are you both watching today?"

"Eric is here to monitor some of the simulations," Four says, repeating word for word what he said to Peter.

"Okay," Tris replies with a small nod. "No pressure there."

I can't help but smirk at her sarcasm.

"Once you're in the sim you won't even know we're here," I say reassuringly. "Have a seat."

She sits down and looks over at Four as he removes the old cartridge from the injection gun replacing it with a new one.

Tris sits quietly, breathing steadily in and out through her nose.

"It's just a simulation, Tris," Four says quietly before injecting her.

I turn my attention to the monitor as the pixels form into an image of Tris. She is surrounded by darkness. Suddenly, a blue orb lights up a few feet away from her, and then another one, filling the room with light. She is on the Pit floor, next to the chasm and the other initiates stand around her, their arms folded and their faces blank.

She reaches forward at the sight of her own reflection and her fingers meet glass. She looks around and realizes she is encased in glass. She reaches up and presses against the glass ceiling, but it does not budge.

In front of her, Four appears and taps on the glass wall. He smirks at her and points towards her feet. The box begins filling with water. Tris crouches down in search of where the water is coming from but is unable to find a source. She stands up and looks at Four. He shrugs before walking over to the crowd of initiates.

I can't help but be jealous of Four's ever constant presence in her life, even if sim Four is currently being a dick.

The water rises, covering her ankles, as she pounds against the glass in front of her

"Hey!" she says. "Let me out of here!"

The water slides up her calves and she hits the glass harder.

"Get me out of here!"

Her eyes flit towards Christina who looks over at Peter. He whispers something into Christina's ear and they both start laughing.

The water covers Tris' thighs, and she pounds both fists against the glass. Frantic, she bangs the glass with all her might. She steps back and throws her shoulder into the wall, once, twice, three times, four times. Again, and again as she continues to scream for help.

The water rises up to her waist…her rib cage…her chest.

"Help!" she screams. "Please! Please help!"

Why do all of her simulations make me feel so useless?

She stops trying to break the glass and looks over at the crowd of initiates once more. She floats to the ceiling and tilts her head back. Gasping, she presses her face to the glass above her and tries to suck in the little air available. The water finishes rising, sealing her into the box entirely.

She thrashes in the water, smacking the walls. She kicks the glass, but her kick is slowed down by the water. She screams, the water making its way into her mouth. She screams again and shoves the wall with her palm. When she pulls her palm away, there is a crack in the glass.

How the fuck did she do that?

She slams her other hand next to the first and drives another crack through the glass. She kicks the wall and the pane shatters.

Fuck…fuck…fuck.

The hallucination ends as Tris sits up in the simulation chair gasping for air. She shakes out her hands and looks between Four and me. Both of us stand stark still, staring at her.

"What?" she asks, wide eyed.

I was right. I wish I wasn't. But there's no denying it now. Tris is Divergent. She's exactly what I've been looking for. Exactly what Jeanine is looking for. I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing as anger, fear and confusion flood my system all at once. What do I do now? What the fuck do I do?

Four is staring at me now, presumably waiting for me to react. He knows too.

I stand up and start pacing. The room is silent aside from my footsteps.

"What?" Tris asks again, she looks like a scared child, her round eyes wider than I've ever seen them.

Before I realize what I'm doing, I pull back my arm and swing it forward, punching a hole in the back wall of the simulation room.

"Eric!" Tris screeches, jumping up from her seat and making her way over to me. I lift my other hand up to stop her from getting any closer and stare blankly at the wall in front of me.

She stops but stays where she is.

"Eric, what's wrong?" she says softly. I hate that the sound of her voice comforts me. She is everything I'm supposed to despise.

I pull my now bloodied fist back from the wall and walk toward the back door of the room. I wrench it open and slam it shut behind me.

Chapter Text

It has been four days since I sat in on Tris' simulation. When I got the logs from that night, Tris' was missing. A message came along with the files saying that an error had occurred and that her session had not saved, but I am sure Four deleted it. If any of the administrators had seen it, they would have known immediately what Four and I both know. Tris is Divergent.

I have spent the last four days avoiding everything to do with initiation that I possibly could. I have only eaten in the dining hall during off peak times. I have steered clear of the section of the complex where the sims are taking place. And each night when the sim logs are forwarded to me, I've skipped over Tris' files.

Does she know what she is? Did Four tell her? Did she know before coming here?

My orders dictate what I am to do next. I'm supposed to turn her in. To hand this information over to Jeanine and let her decide what to do with Tris. The thought of leaving Tris' fate in the hands of Jeanine causes bile to rise up in my throat.

I keep going over every encounter I have ever had with Tris and at no point has she seemed dangerous to me.

My understanding of Divergents has always been black and white. No room for discussion. Divergents are dangerous. Divergents don't belong. Divergents are a threat to our way of life. If they aren't stopped, Divergents will bring the end of the faction system as we know it.

I scream out loud breaking the silence of my apartment. You're letting your feelings for her cloud your judgement Eric. I stand up and start to pace, running my fingers through my hair and scratching at my scalp, hard. I continue scratching in frustration until I am close to drawing blood.

I walk to my bedroom and flop down on my bed. These last few days have exhausted me. I close my eyes hoping that tonight my exhaustion will finally allow sleep to overtake me.

It doesn't.

No one gets cut at the end of stage two, but I still think it's beneficial for the initiates to be aware of where they stand in comparison to their competition. Their ranking lets them know how close to being cut they are and gives them a chance to work their asses off in order to improve before the final rankings.

I push open the door to the transfer dormitory, the chalkboard with their rankings in hand. The majority of the initiates are mingling around but as I make my way across the room they follow me and form a crowd. I hold the board strategically facing my body in order to prevent anyone from seeing what is written.

I glance over at the faces in front of me and realize that Tris is the only initiate who is missing. The door to the dormitory catches my attention and I watch as the missing girl enters. Tris, confused, makes her way over to the crowd. She stands next to Will and whispers something to him.

I lift the board up above my head and hang it on a nail that is protruding from the wall. The board reads:

Tris

Peter

Molly

Christina

Drew

Will

Al

The room falls silent and all of a sudden every single transfer is looking at Tris. I look towards her, not entirely sure if I want to make eye contact with her or not…but it doesn't matter because she is actively avoiding everyone's gaze by staring intently at the board above me.

Divergent or not, her times have been by far the best and until I figure out how the hell to deal with this…with her…the rankings stand. As I turn to leave, I hear Peter's angry voice directed at Tris.

"I will not be outranked by a Stiff," he hisses. "How did you do it, huh? How the hell did you do it?"

I stop short of the door. With all my stressing over Tris being Divergent, I hadn't even considered how her ranking first would play out among the other initiates. Edward was ranked first and look where he is now. A shiver runs through my spine at the thought of Peter attacking Tris in the night. I contemplate confronting him, but when I turn around Will is already dragging him away from Tris by the collar.

"Leave her alone," he says. "Only a coward bullies a little girl."

Feeling a bit better knowing Tris' friends are looking out for her, I turn and leave, heading towards the control room.

I spend the majority of my shift in the control room tracking Tris on the monitors. I really don't know what I'm hoping to find by watching her. A sign that she is dangerous? A sign that she is conspiring against us? A sign that she has some kind of villainous plot to take us all down? It's laughable really.

If I'm being honest, her divergence isn't even why I'm tracking her. After posting the rankings in the transfer dormitories, an unsettling feeling took up residence in the pit of my stomach and it didn't take long for me determine its source. Fear.

Fear for Tris and the possible repercussions of the target that I've put on her head by ranking her first. My gut is telling me that she isn't safe, that Peter is going to try something. But aside from assigning myself to be her personal bodyguard, which isn't an option, this is the only way I could think of to try to keep her safe.

So far he hasn't come near her since the initial confrontation in the dormitories. I was kind of surprised to see her friends confronting her after Peter had been dealt with and even more surprised to see that the Dauntless born initiates have taken a liking to her.

Tris' interactions with the Dauntless born seemed so natural. She fits right into their group with little to no effort. Watching her, it wouldn't even cross your mind that she doesn't belong here. On the surface, she really is Dauntless.

I wonder if she could do it…make it through initiation…stay here…live her life just like the rest of us. No one needs to know, and if I don't let on to Jeanine what I know…well she would just assume, like everyone else, that Tris is Dauntless, through and through.

A voice at the door interrupts my thoughts.

"Good evening, Eric."

Jeanine. What the hell is she doing here?

I turn in my chair to face her.

"Jeanine," I say in greeting.

"Take a walk with me, would you?" It's posed as a question, but it's obvious that I can't say no.

I nod, standing up and following her out the door.

We make our way in silence in the direction of the Pit. The corridors are empty at this hour but we both know the cameras are still going. With me out of the control room it's unlikely that anyone will notice us on the monitors, but to be safe, she leads me down a specific corridor in which I have previously messed with the cameras to create blind spot.

"It's been a while since I've heard from you," she says, stopping abruptly. "I'm starting to think you aren't taking this seriously. I was expecting to get weekly updates, but your contact has been sparse at best and the messages I have gotten have been extremely brief."

Since I first suspected Tris of divergence, I have been avoiding Jeanine. With no one else showing any signs of divergence, there hasn't been much information to relay, and I decided it wasn't worth alerting her to my suspicions about Tris until I had conclusive evidence. I kept telling myself that she wouldn't care, wouldn't want to know until I had facts to give her.

But then…then I got my conclusive evidence. I had the facts for her and instead of reaching out I stopped contacting her all together.

"Of course I'm taking this seriously. I've been doing this for you for years. I've always let you know when I've had suspicions. Even before I was specifically assigned to this mission," I reply.

She looks at me, searching my face for information that my words aren't telling her. I try to look offended. She squints at me and purses her lips. She doesn't look convinced.

"So, tell me, what have you found so far?" Her eyes are locked on mine, and I can tell that she is waiting for me to slip up or come clean and tell her why I've been avoiding her. Now would be the time to tell her about Tris, to explain that I didn't want to tell her until I knew for sure…

"So far there haven't been any signs of it." The words come effortlessly, and I hope my face hasn't betrayed me.

She sighs and breaks her watch on me, moving to pace back and forth.

"Well, you wouldn't have seen much of it yet. Combat training shows nothing. The simulations, however, reveal who the Divergent rebels are, if there are any, so we will have to examine the footage several times to be sure."

We? Has she seen the footage? Does she suspect anything?

"Don't forget the reason I had Max appoint you," she says. "Your first priority is always finding them. Always."

"I won't forget. I've reviewed all of the footage so far, and like I said, there haven't been any signs of it." I need to know what she knows. "Have you looked at the footage?"

"Not yet, now that all of the initiates have completed a handful of simulations, I will be reviewing all of it at once. I find it more helpful to watch each initiates progression rather than jumping back and forth between the initiates."

I nod but before I have time to speak a faint shuffling noise in the distance startles us both and I immediately look around the corridor for any signs of intrusion.

"I have to leave now," Jeanine whispers. "But Eric, don't disappoint me."

She gives me a knowing look before turning and walking in the opposite direction of the shuffling sound.

I am too distracted by the sounds that have now disappeared to read much into the look she gave me. I let her walk away before turning and moving in the opposite direction. I strain my ears checking for sounds of life. It's not much, but a voice seems to be coming from the direction of the Pit. I walk slowly towards it not sure what I will find.

Suddenly, a scream breaks through the silence of the night. It's not a good-natured Dauntless shout, or the shriek of someone who is scared but delighted. No, this is the particular pitch of terror. Small rocks scatter behind me as I run down to the bottom of the Pit, my breathing fast and heavy.

Three tall, dark-clothed people are standing near the railing. They are crowded around a fourth, smaller target, and even though I can't make out who they are, I know a fight when I see one. Or I would call it a fight if it wasn't three against one.

One of the attackers spins around, sees me, and sprints in the other direction. When I get closer, I can see one of the remaining attackers holding the target up, over the chasm.

"Hey!" I shout.

They look towards me and that's when I see her.

Tris.

My blood boils and anger forms deep within me as I collide with one of the attackers – Drew, I can tell by his hair colour – slamming him into the barrier of the chasm. I hit him once, twice, three times in the face. He collapses to the ground. I start to kick him, over and over, blind rage consuming me.

"Eric." Her voice is quiet, ragged, and in this moment it's the only thing that could possibly ground me back to reality. She's hanging from the railing, dangling over the chasm. The last attacker is gone.

I run towards her, my heart threating to beat straight out of my chest, and grab her under her shoulders, pulling her over the edge of the railing. I hold her against me, and she presses her face into my chest, her fingers gripping my shirt before her body goes limp.

I check that she is still breathing and then proceed to look for signs that she is in need of medical attention. Satisfied that her wounds are mostly superficial, I decide against bringing her to the infirmary where the others who went after her would think to look for her. Instead, I carry her to my apartment. I shove my way through the apartment door and lay her down on my bed.

She isn't badly injured, but Drew might be. I should probably care more about that, but after today's attack and what he, Peter and Molly did to her only a couple weeks ago I don't really give a shit about what happens to him.

The anger that rose up in me at the sight of her being attacked is something I haven't experienced in years. I lost all control. It was as though the anger took control of my body, and I was just along for the ride, unable to stop or change course.

I try to steady my breathing as I walk to the bathroom to wash the blood from my hands – a few of my knuckles are split, cut from the impact with Drew's face. If Drew was there, the other attacker had to be Peter, but who was the third? Not Molly – the shape was too tall, too big. In fact, there's only one initiate that size.

Al.

Al who is currently last ranked among the initiates. Al who should have been cut weeks ago but was saved by the incident with Edward. Al who claims to be her friend.

I keep my hands under the cool water until it runs clear, then dry them on the towel and go to the freezer for an ice pack. As I carry it toward her, I realize she is awake.

"Your hands," she says softly, concern evident in her voice.

My hands? She just got attacked by three people and she's worried about my hands?

"My hands aren't important," I say, holding the ice pack up to the back of her head where I found a bump earlier. "How are you feeling?"

She raises her fingers to the side of my lips, and I instinctively pull back, wincing at the pain that arises. When did I even get hit there?

She lowers her hand and leans into the icepack.

"What happened to them?" she asks, ignoring my question.

"Peter, Drew and Al?" I reply. I know who she is talking about, but I want her to know that I know exactly who did this to her.

"Yes," she responds coldly. "Peter, Drew and…Al." So, she had figured out that Al was one of the attackers.

"Al and Peter ran away…and Drew's probably in the infirmary by now."

"Will he be okay?" she asks.

"He'll live. In what condition I can't say," I spit. I shouldn't feel pleasure from what I did to him, but after what he did to Tris I can't help but feel as though he deserved it. There's even a part of me that wishes I hadn't stopped, that I had kept going until…

I look away from her. I shouldn't be showing her this side of me.

"Good," she says her voice hard. I look at her curiously. She has this side too. She must have it. I saw the way she looked when she beat Molly, like she was going to keep going whether her opponent was unconscious or not. Maybe she and I are more alike than I thought.

She lets out a heavy sigh and grips my wrist, gently pulling the icepack away from her head, but not letting go of me. Her hand is hot against the coldness of mine.

"Why were you there," she says.

I blink a few times and try to come up with an explanation that doesn't involve Jeanine.

"I saw something on the monitors in the control room. I couldn't tell exactly what was going on or who was involved, but I knew it wasn't good, so I got there as fast as I could."

It sounds plausible enough to me.

Her eyes roam my face as if searching for something.

"You're lying," she says. Her words are accusatory, but her tone is not. After a beat, she lays back onto my bed, legs dangling off the edge. I watch her for a second, expecting her to continue, but she just lays there.

I take a deep breath before falling back onto the bed next to her and stare up at the ceiling. We lay silently and I find myself relaxing to the sound of her breathing. She shifts slightly and I can feel her eyes on me now.

"I heard you talking to someone. A woman. You were talking about Divergents." Her voice is calm.

Panic instantly rises up in my chest and I struggle to control my breathing. What do I do? What do I say?

"You lied to her. You protected me," she shifts again, her eyes now directed at the ceiling. "Four told me to stay away from you. He said that you're dangerous," she pauses. "That you're going to kill me."

My neck snaps towards her and now I am the one forced to look at the side of her face.

"I figure he's wrong," she says turning to look me in the eye. "You're not going to kill me."

I could argue with her. Deny the conversation with Jeanine. Act like I don't know exactly what Four meant by what he said to her. But there's something about the way she approached all of this with me that tells me honesty is my best course of action.

"Why do you say that?" I ask, wondering how she can be so sure that I won't.

"You could have let them kill me. It would have been easy to just leave me there. To not intervene. No one would have linked my death to you and one more Divergent would have been taken care of," she says. "But you didn't. Instead, you saved me and brought me here."

"I could never hurt you," I say. The words come out automatically and even though I've never really thought about it before, I know that I mean them.

She nods gently against the bedspread, unsurprised by my words, before looking up at the ceiling once more. I do the same. After a moment, I feel her hand reach for mine. I react instinctively, closing my fingers around hers.

"Is what Four said true? Are you dangerous? Do you kill people like me?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

Honesty. You decided to be honest with her. Just suck it up and do it.

"Part of my job is to hunt down Divergents. So yes, I am dangerous, at least to people like you, and yes, Divergents have died because of me." I expect her to pull away from me, but she remains, unmoving.

"Why? Why do you do it? I don't understand. What is so wrong with me that you don't think I deserve to live?" her voice shakes, and I wonder if she's near tears.

"There's nothing wrong with you," I reply.

"You know what I mean. Divergents. What is so wrong with us?"

I take a few breaths before trying to explain.

"You have to understand, growing up in Erudite, they teach us that Divergents are evil. That they want to tear us apart and get rid of the factions. They teach us that without the faction system our whole society would fall apart. That civil war would break out and our cities would be left devastated. They teach us that without faction cooperation our way of life would be unsustainable. That without sharing our resources each faction would have to rely on themselves inclusively. Food wouldn't be shared, medication wouldn't be divided." I stop for a second, wondering if she will argue with me. When she doesn't, I continue. "It always made sense to me. So, when Max asked me to be in charge of tracking down Divergents I agreed, thinking I was doing the right thing. I've never killed anyone myself, but I may as well have. I've passed along information that has resulted in deaths. And I've always been okay with that. I've been able to accept that it's necessary in order to preserve our way of life. I truly believed that what I was doing was keeping us safe…until I met you. And the more I got to know you the more I questioned what I've always believed."

I turn to face her now, expecting to be met with the side of her face, but I'm surprised when her eyes lock onto mine.

"How can you be dangerous? How can you be the evil threat to society that I've been told about all of these years?...It doesn't make sense to me anymore..."

She continues looking at me, shifting her weight so that she is now laying on her side.

"I had never even heard of Divergents. Not until my aptitude test," she states. "How is it that Erudite is teaching their children about this evil, enormous threat to their lives while Abnegation doesn't even mention the word?"

Her aptitude test? So, she's known since before the choosing ceremony. She knew…and so did the person who administered her test. I briefly consider pressing her for more information but decide to let it go for now.

"I don't know."

Silence falls over the room once more.

"Tris?" I say, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you still here?"

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"Why haven't you run away from me? I basically told you that I've been responsible for the murders of a lot of people over the past few years…yet you're still here with me…still laying with me…still holding my hand?"

"Honestly?" she says. "It doesn't make any sense, but for some reason…even after everything you just told me…you make me feel safe…I know it's crazy…but I trust you."

"That is crazy," I respond.

She snorts in response which makes me laugh. Then suddenly, we're both laughing. My laughter comes on fast and hard, as if all of the tension of the night…of the week…is coming to a head. We laugh until we can't breathe and when we finally come down my eyes are watering.

"I don't know the last time I laughed like that," I say. Then exhaustion takes over and I'm yawning. I look over at the clock on my bedside table and realize it's well passed two a.m.

"We need to get to sleep."

"You're probably right," she responds. "Can I stay here tonight? With Peter…and Al unaccounted for…I don't really feel safe going back to the dorms."

How can staying with me feel any safer?

"Are you okay? I mean…Al…he's your friend."

"Was my friend…and I don't want to talk about it. Okay?"

"Okay…" Fair enough. "Take the bed. I've been sleeping on the couch lately anyways, it would probably get lonely without me."

She smiles.

"Let me get you something to wear." I get up and walk over to my wardrobe, pulling out a plain black hoodie and a pair of sweatpants, I toss them onto the bed next to her. "They'll be big, but more comfortable than what you've got on.''

"Thank you," she says looking down at the clothes.

"The bathroom is that way," I say, nodding towards it.

She picks up the hoodie and sweats then disappears behind the door. While she's gone, I change into a tank top and another pair of sweatpants before going in search of a blanket for the couch.

When she emerges from the bathroom, I can't help but chuckle at how adorable she looks in my clothing. She's practically swimming in them. The pants have been rolled up multiple times around her ankles and the arms of the sweatshirt extend far past her hands.

"Are you laughing at me?" she says, eyebrows furrowed.

"Absolutely not!" I respond while laughing.

"You are! You're laughing at me," she says, now smiling.

"I can't help it. You look cute in that outfit."

She raises an eyebrow at me.

"Did Mr. Glare at Everyone, Quiver before Me, Hard Ass Dauntless Leader just say I look cute?" she teases.

I roll my eyes before turning towards the couch and walking away. "Goodnight, Tris," I call over my shoulder.

"Eric," she says softly behind me. "You know we still need to talk about some things, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Okay, goodnight."

I wish there was a way we could just move forward and ignore all of this Divergent crap, but I know that's impossible. Plus, then there is Jeanine, Max and my mission. How can I continue hunting down Divergents when I'm…falling for one?

I push those thoughts from my mind and try to get settled on the couch. I may have a lot of decisions to make, but knowing Tris is safe for the time being gives me peace of mind and sleep finds me for the first time in days.

I awake with a start to the sound of a girl's scream. Blinking, I take in my surroundings. The events of last night come back to me and I start to panic. Did someone get in here?

"No, please, stop! Stop!" I stand up and see Tris, alone, thrashing back and forth on the bed. I dart over to her.

"Stop! Please, stop," she continues, tears starting to run down her sleeping face.

I take a hold of her shoulders and start to shake her lightly. "Wake up, Tris. Wake up."

Her eyes snap open and she bolts into a seated position so quickly that we nearly collide. She looks into my eyes, confused. "Eric?"

"It's me. You were having a nightmare."

I watch as she immediately crumbles before me. Tears streams down her face and her breathing becomes uneven as she hiccups through them.

"I was b…b…back there. At the P…P…Pit. But this time," she looks away from me. "You didn't come. His h…h…hands. They were everywhere. I couldn't get him off of me."

She wraps her arms around her small torso and looks down at the bed. I squat down in front of her and place my fingers beneath her chin, lifting her head to meet my gaze.

"Hey, look at me. I'm here now. You're safe," I say as reassuringly as I can. "I won't let them touch you again."

She nods and lifts her fingers to her face in an attempt to wipe the tear tracks from her cheeks. We stay like this until she is able to steady her breathing.

"Do you want to try going back to sleep?" I ask, standing up.

She shakes her head violently, wide eyed and terrified. "No."

"Hey, take a deep breath. It's okay. We have to get up in an hour anyway," I start, trying to calm her down. "Why don't I make us some coffee, and we can just relax for a little bit?"

"Okay," she says softly, but before I can walk over to the kitchen she speaks again. "Eric?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you maybe…" she stops and shakes her head.

"What is it?" I say, encouraging her to continue.

"Could you…"

I raise my eyebrow as she stops again. She averts her gaze, looking passed me towards the wall before starting again.

"When I was little, I would go out with my mom to feed the factionless. This one time, one of the older factionless men grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. My mom, she stopped him right away, got me away from him. But after that, I kept having dreams…nightmares…about it. I would wake up screaming and my mom would come into my room and get in bed with me. She would stay, holding me, until I calmed down," her eyes shift to look back at mine. "Could you…could you hold me? Just for a minute?"

She's nervous and I can tell that it's hard for her to ask for help. I don't know if that's her Abnegation side coming through, asking for help is not considered selfless or if it's her Dauntless side not wanting to show vulnerability. Either way, it doesn't matter.

I make my way to the other side of the bed and lay down, opening my arms to her. Tentatively, she rolls towards me laying her head on my chest. I pause for a brief moment before wrapping both arms around her, pulling her tight against me. The familiar scent of her hair wafts towards me and I breathe it in deeply. We lay in silence.

After a few minutes, I realize her breathing has turned even and steady against me. She's fallen back asleep. The warmth of her body and the sound of her soft breaths causes my muscles to relax and my eyes to flutter shut. For the second time tonight, the world drifts away.

Chapter Text

My alarm rings out far too soon after falling back asleep. Refusing to open my eyes, I bat my hand at it, hoping to turn it off without rousing the girl currently sleeping in my arms. She shifts slightly, leaning further into my touch and I sigh. I am certain that today will bring far more questions than I am prepared to answer, but for now, I'm content pretending reality doesn't exist.

"Eric," her voice is quiet but rough, riddled with sleep.

Grudgingly, I open my eyes and look down towards her.

"Should we get up?" she mumbles, her eyes still closed.

Probably.

"Not just yet, go back to sleep," I say, closing my eyes and rubbing her back.

"But your alarm…" she starts.

"Ignore my alarm," I say, cutting her off. "Alarms are dumb."

"Eric…" she says, her tone light. I can tell that she's smiling. "We can't miss breakfast."

I let out an exaggerated groan. "What if I make us breakfast, here, then can we go back to sleep?"

She makes a noise and I open my eyes back up.

"What?" I ask.

"It's nothing."

Does she want to get away from me? Maybe she's rethinking what we talked about last night.

"We can go to the dining hall if you want," I offer.

"No, it's not that. I've just never had a man cook for me. Aside from my dad and Caleb."

"Caleb?" I question, jealously threatening to emerge.

"My brother," she responds simply.

"Ah, well…let me be the first? It'll just be simple, bacon and eggs…muffins? I don't have a lot here."

She raises her head to look at me. "You have muffins? Are they the same ones from the dining hall?"

I chuckle. "Yes, they are from the dining hall."

Her eyes grow wide. "I thought those were a myth!"

I laugh at the sheer excitement in her voice.

"Seriously though! I've heard stories, but I've never gotten there early enough to actually get one."

"Well then, today is your lucky day," I say, still laughing. "Alright, I guess we should get up."

She sits up and I immediately miss the warmth of her body against mine. We both get up and make our way over to the kitchen. I grab the eggs and bacon out of the fridge before opening the cupboard and taking out two frying pans.

"Can I help?" she asks, standing awkwardly near the table.

"I've got it, just have a seat."

She nods before pulling out a chair from the table and sitting down. I turn the coffee on then focus my attention on laying the bacon in single strips across a pan. I can feel her eyes watching me.

"What?" I say looking up from the pan.

She smiles. "I never I thought I'd see you of all people looking so…domestic."

"Take that back," I tease.

"It makes you seem more human," she says shrugging. "I like it."

With the bacon cooking, I turn my attention to the eggs. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm okay," she says, her hand instinctively touching the back of her head.

"And your side?" I press.

"Hurts a bit when I breathe, Peter knocked me against the railing pretty hard. But I'll live. What about you? How are your hands?"

I roll my eyes, she needs to start worrying more about herself and less about me.

"Your Abnegation is showing," I say, smirking. "I'm fine. My hands will heal."

Before she has a chance to push further, I turn away from her and reach into the cupboard, collecting two plates. I divide the scrambled eggs between the plates and scoop up the bacon. Noticing that breakfast is nearly ready to be served, she stands up.

"I'm just going to run to the washroom before we eat," she says.

"Sounds good."

As she disappears behind the bathroom door, I pour us each a mug of coffee. Just as I'm setting our meals down on the table, an urgent knock sounds from the door.

I take my time walking over to it. Who could possibly have the balls to disturb me this early in the morning? The knocking grows louder and louder.

I swing the door open to reveal a frantic Four. "What?" I snap.

"I need to talk to you," he says, barging passed me and into my apartment.

"By all means, just come right in," I reply sarcastically shutting the door behind him.

"What the hell happened last night?" he questions angrily.

Where is this coming from? What does he know?

"What are you talking about?" I reply.

"Don't play dumb with me. I woke up to a call from the infirmary. They were calling to inform me that another one of my initiates was badly injured. When I got there, I found Drew, nearly beaten to a pulp. He's in rough shape, can barely speak. Eventually I got him to tell me who had attacked him, and do you know who he said? You. He said that you did that to him."

"Four –" I go to defend myself, but he cuts me off.

"And then, I head to the initiate dormitory to check on the rest of my initiates except when I get there, half of them are nowhere to be found and the ones who are there have no clue where everyone else is. So now I'm here, because the only thing that I do know is that whatever happened, you were involved. Now tell me what you did and where the hell Tris is," he says pushing his index finger into my chest, his eyes filled with rage.

I glower at him and cross my arms over my chest. How dare he barge into my apartment and accuse me of…whatever he seems to think I did.

Before I have a chance to speak, the washroom door swings open and Tris steps into the room.

"Four?" she says, seeing him in front of me. "What's going on?"

His eyes grow wide with surprise at the sound of her voice, and he spins around in her direction.

"Tris?" he questions. "What are you doing here? Are you okay? What did he do to you?"

Is he serious?

"Watch yourself Four, I didn't do anything to her."

"Shut up Eric, I'm not talking to you," he snaps loudly, not taking his eyes off of her.

"How dare you!" I yell, rage pooling in my gut.

"Stop it! Both of you. Just stop." It's Tris' turn to yell. "Eric didn't do anything to me."

"Well, someone better start telling me what the hell is going on."

I drop my arms from my chest and sigh as I look between Tris and Four. He's obviously not going to leave until he gets some kind of explanation. I can't really blame him; I'd be the same if I was in his position.

"Can we at least do this while I eat?" I say to both of them, walking over to the kitchen. "My breakfast is getting cold."

"Just tell me what's going on!" Four says again, unmoving.

"For fucks sake Four. Just sit the hell down and we'll tell you what happened," I bark over my shoulder, pulling a third mug from the cupboard. After filling it with coffee, I turn to find Tris beckoning Four over to the table as she sits in front of her plate.

Reluctantly, he trudges over and sits down at one of the empty spots. I put the mug down in front of him before sitting to eat.

Spearing a piece of bacon with my fork, I look over at Tris who seems overly preoccupied with her eggs.

"Tris, do you want to tell him what happened? Or should I?" I say, pointing my fork between us.

The attack was only a few hours ago, her wounds have barely started to heal. I would understand if she wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

Her eyes remain lowered as she lays her fork down carefully next to her plate, poking at the prongs until it is perfectly straight.

"I can't believe I get to have one of the elusive double chocolate muffins," she says finally looking up, a small smile on her face.

Four's puzzled eyes look between us.

"Tris…" I start.

She shakes her head, looking over at me. "I've got this."

I nod in response.

"Last night," she begins turning her gaze towards Four. "I couldn't sleep. So, I thought I would go for a walk, clear my head, gets some water…" she pauses, taking a deep breath. "Well…I had barely made it to the water when someone grabbed me."

I look over at Four who swallows hard as he stares intently at her.

"They dragged me to the Pit…to the chasm…and pushed me up against the railing. One of them held me there, I tried to fight him off, but I couldn't," she looks down at her plate. "He…he…put his hand up my shirt and…"

Without thinking I bang my fist on the table, this new admission reigniting my rage. Fucking Hayes.

She looks up at the ceiling, blinking hard, as tears threaten to fall from her eyes. Refusing to meet my gaze, she continues.

"That's when Eric showed up. One of them ran when they saw him and Eric attacked another one."

"Drew," Four interjects.

"Yeah, Drew. After getting me over the railing, the third one took off too. I was able to grab onto the barrier from the other side, and Eric pulled me over. I was too scared to go back to the dorms, so Eric let me stay here." Finishing, she picks up her muffin and starts to pick at it.

"I'm going to fucking kill him," I say, my fists still clenched.

"Eric…" she says, placing her hand on my forearm. "It's over."

Four looks between us, likely confused by what brought on my anger so abruptly.

"So, if Drew was there, then I assume Peter and Molly were the other two?" Four asks.

"Peter was there yes…he was the one…the one who put me over the railing."

The one who touched you.

"But the other one wasn't Molly. It was Al."

"What?" Four says, stunned.

Tris nods in confirmation.

We all sit in silence, and I can tell the wheels are turning in Number Boy's head.

"You!" he says, turning to me. "This is all your fault!"

"And just how in the hell did you reach that moronic conclusion?"

"If you and Max hadn't turned initiation into a fight to the death…if you hadn't decided people would be cut during each stage…then the initiates wouldn't have been pushed to this…this insanity."

I move to stand, but Tris puts pressure on my forearm as if to keep me in place.

"You can't blame Eric for the fact that Peter is a psychopath," she says to Four.

"I can blame him for pushing him passed his breaking point," he rebuttals.

Could I have prevented this? Without the threat of being cut, Peter wouldn't need to get rid of his competition in order to protect his ass. But then again, Peter is second right now. Tris or no Tris he's basically guaranteed a spot. I spread my hand across my forehead and rub my temples trying to quell the mixture of anger and guilt Four has triggered in me.

"Blaming Eric isn't going to change what happened."

"Fine," Four says grudgingly, breaking his gaze on Tris and turning his attention to me. "So, what are you going to do about this? You can't just let attempted murderers run free."

No shit Sherlock.

"I'm going to talk to Max today and see what he wants to do with them."

"That's it, you're going to talk to Max? Just kick them out and be done with it."

"Listen asshole, if it were up to me, I'd beat the shit out of all three them and leave them for dead in the street. But…and it pains me to admit this…I don't have the authority to kick initiates out for reasons not related to performance," I say. "So, I'm going to have to talk to Max, explain what happened and express my opinion as to what I think should be done."

"Fine," he responds, clearly unimpressed. "What are we supposed to do until Max decides if he's kicking them out or not? Act like nothing happened?"

"I'll go to him right after breakfast. Hopefully he'll handle it immediately and the two of you will only have to deal with them for a couple hours, tops."

We both look over at Tris to see her reaction.

"Are you going to be okay?" I say. "Maybe I could figure out a reason to excuse you for the morning?"

"No," she says quickly. "I will not let them turn me into a coward. And besides, we don't know if Max will even kick them out. It won't look good on any of us if I'm being given preferential treatment. And if they do stay, I'll have to figure out a way to be around them anyways."

I can tell Four wants to argue with her, but I think we both know her well enough by now to know she’s to stubborn to concede.

"I have to get going," Four says to Tris. "I'm supposed to be in the Pit collecting the initiates right now. We're going to go over what you'll be up against in stage three."

"You should go with him," I say to Tris. "Your friends are probably already wondering where you are."

She nods and stands up. "Give me a minute, I'll go get changed."

Four and I sit in silence while Tris makes her way to the washroom and gets changed. When she emerges, she is holding the sweatpants I gave her to sleep in, but the hoodie is still draped around her thin frame. I stand up as she approaches me.

"Um," she says softly, now standing directly in front of me. "My side…I can't lift if off…could you?" she half asks, her cheeks turning crimson with embarrassment before raising her arms over her head.

"Keep it," I say quietly. "It looks better on you anyways."

She puts her arms down looking relieved.

"Thank you," she says, her eyes soft and grateful. "For everything."

I smile back in response, resisting the urge to pull her into my arms. She reaches forward and grabs my hand in hers, squeezing it gently before releasing it and walking over to Four.

"If anything happens to her, I'm holding you accountable," I say to Four.

"I won't take my eyes off of her," he replies.

As if you ever could before.

I watch as Four places his hand on the small of her back and leads her out.

Bastard.

My knee bounces up and down as I sit across from Max in his office waiting for him to digest everything I just finished telling him about last night.

His eyebrows furrow and he looks at me apprehensively. "So let me get this straight, you're asking me to kick out not one, not two, but three initiates two thirds of the way through initiation? Among them, the transfer who shows the most promise of his class?" he says.

"They tried to murder someone," I reply. "Are we really just going to start accepting murderers into our ranks now?"

"First of all, if we kicked out every member of this faction who has either killed or been involved in killing in one way or another, there wouldn't be anyone left in Dauntless leadership…yourself included. Second of all, we don't even know that they actually planned to kill her."

I breathe in deeply, trying to control my anger. This conversation is not going at all how I hoped it would.

"That's not the same thing and you know it," I reply. "And if I hadn't shown up, they would definitely have killed her."

"According to you. Either way, they were doing whatever they needed to ensure their place in this faction. It shows that they are willing to do anything for Dauntless. It proves how loyal they will be to this faction."

"No, it shows that they are willing to do anything to save their own asses and the way they went about it shows that they are cowards," I say through gritted teeth.

Max lets out an exasperated sigh before looking at me curiously.

"It's the girl isn't it?" he asks smirking, catching me off guard. "She's the reason you're even here, boring me with all of this."

"What?" I say with mock confusion.

"Fighting for something as menial as this? Talking back and arguing with me? Come on Eric, this isn't like you," he scoffs. "So, I have to wonder what's fueling this crusade and the only thing I can think of is that it has something to do with the girl. The one they tried to kill. And let me stress the word tried. Because according to your account, she is still very much alive. Is that it? Are you fucking this girl?"

I blink and resist the urge to punch him for the way he's talking about her.

"This is bullshit," I spit back. "No, I am not fucking the girl."

"Watch your mouth," he replies angrily, making his way around the desk to stand in front of me. "Girl or no girl, it sounds to me like you've lost control of your initiates."

He gives me a pointed look, and I stare back at him. His anger is gone just as fast as it came and he walks back over to his chair.

"You have my permission to deal with them within the parameters of initiation…that is all. You do not have my permission to kick them out or rank them low based on anything other than performance. And, Eric, try to keep anymore initiates from ending up in the infirmary would you?"

I nod silently. I know that opening my mouth now will just make things worse.

"Good. Now get the fuck out of my office," he says, waving his hand as if to shoo me out.

I turn and leave, slamming his door behind me.

My fists hit the heavy bag in quick succession as blood soaks through the tape covering my knuckles. The barely healed wounds from my fight with Drew reopened a while ago and I know I should stop, but when I leave here I'll have to track down Tris and Four to relay Max's decision and I'm not quite ready to face them.

Part of me wants to ignore Max's ruling and throw them out in the street, but I know it would mean giving up my position in leadership and I've worked too hard to get where I am to let a few cowardly little boys take it away from me.

I pause to take a drink from my water bottle and spin around as I hear the door to the gym open.

"There you are!" Lauren says jogging over to me. "I've been running around this whole damn compound looking for you."

"Well here I am. What's going on?"

She opens her mouth to speak, but her focus turns to my bloody hands as I work at removing the tape.

"Should I even ask?" she questions, one eyebrow raised.

I shake my head no. "What is it Lauren?"

"It's Al, the big Candor transfer, he jumped into the chasm. They're retrieving his body now," she says solemnly.

The news takes me by surprise, but my surprise is fleeting and while part of me thinks that I should feel sad…or at least a bit guilty…a bigger part of me thinks Al got what he deserves.

"Eric?"

Could Four be right though? I truly believe that initiation should be tough and have real consequences in order to better prepare new members for what's in store for them at Dauntless, but are we pushing them too hard? Are we bending them to the point of breaking?

"Eric, did you hear me?" Lauren says hesitantly, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Yeah. Al's dead. I heard you," I reply.

"Okay…well, anyways, Max wants you to do the speech. Tonight, at the Pit."

"What?!" I practically yell in disbelief causing Lauren to take a step back from me. "Absolutely not."

That asshole. He's doing this on purpose. Punishing me for arguing with him earlier.

"Um…" she starts. "He was pretty adamant that you be the one to do it, but I'm just the messenger."

"If he thinks I'm going to get up in front of everyone and go on about how brave that cowardly little weasel was he has another thing coming," I spit.

She takes another step away from me, looking uncomfortable. "Just the messenger," she repeats, raising her hands while retreating.

"Anyways, I should get going. But he's planning to gather everyone at dinner," she says before leaving.

I argue with Max over dinner, trying desperately to change his mind about making me give Al's farewell speech. My words fall on deaf ears, and I resign myself to giving the speech.

After dinner, I make my way over to one of the boxed platforms above the pit floor. A crowd has gathered, Tris is among them.

Shit, with the news of Al's death I completely forgot to find her and tell her about my meeting with Max. I'll have to talk to her once this farce is over.

"Quiet down, everyone," I shout, impatient to get this thing over with. The gong sounds and gradually the shouts stop. "Thank you. As you know, we're here because Albert, an initiate, jumped into the chasm this morning."

"We don't know why," I say and it dawns on me that when it comes to Al, the majority of this speech is complete bullshit. "It would be easy to mourn the loss of him tonight. But we did not choose a life of ease when we became Dauntless. And the truth is, Albert is now exploring an unknown, uncertain place. He leaped into vicious waters to get there."

I pause, the thought of my next words practically choking me. I look over at Max who nods his head, encouraging me to continue. I grit my teeth, "Who among us is brave enough to venture into the darkness without knowing what lies beyond it? Albert was not yet one of our members, but we can be assured that he was one of our bravest."

Bravest.

Al was the farthest thing from brave, but few know what he did. A cry rises from the center of the crowd, and a whoop. My faction cheers at varying pitches and every part of me wants to tell them to shut up. Tell them that everything I have just said is complete crap and that Al deserves what he got. But instead, I continue as instructed.

"We will celebrate him now and remember him always!" I yell. Sam hands me a bottle of rum and I raise it to the crowd. "To Albert the Courageous!"

I tip the bottle to my mouth and drink down more than I should as the crowd begins to chant Al's name.

I look over at Max who gives me a look of approval, behind him, Tris disappears down a nearby hallway.

God, I can't even imagine what must be going through her head after hearing me go on about how courageous Al was. I have to talk to her.

It takes me longer than I would have liked to escape the crowded Pit. After a bit of wandering, I find Tris near the water fountain but she's not alone.

Four.

Every time I've brought up the idea of Four being into her she's waved it off, acted like I'm crazy for even suggesting it, but I'm not crazy. I know he's into her. The only question is…does she have feelings for him too?

It's clear that they haven't noticed me, they continue talking, much too close to each other, while I approach them.

"I don't understand," Tris says to him, "why do they care what I think, as long as I'm acting how they want me to."

Ah, she's still curious about her divergence.

"You're acting how they want you to now," Four says, "but what happens when your Abnegation-wired brain tells you to do something else, something they don't want?"

I clear my throat to get their attention, and they immediately jump apart. Realizing it's me, Tris looks relieved, but Four looks almost…guilty? Like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

"Jesus Eric," Tris says. "You nearly scared me to death."

"Am I interrupting something?" I ask, my expression hard. I can't help but be jealous…after all, they are hiding away in the dark all alone.

Tris shakes her head. "I just couldn't listen to it anymore. All that crap about Al being courageous...it was just too much."

I take a deep breath, my expression softening. "I'm sorry about that," I start, "I didn't mean any of it, it's just what we say every time someone…is found like that."

She nods, not nearly as upset at me as I expected her to be. "Four explained it to me. I'm not going to lie, hearing you say the words was…difficult…but even before I understood why you were saying it, I could tell you didn't believe it, it was too rehearsed."

I was so busy trying to get to know her…to understand her…that I missed the part where she seems to have gotten to know me.

I turn my attention towards Four. "I thought you'd know better than to have these types of conversations out in the open like this." I reprimand him quietly, tilting my head and moving my eyes to point towards the camera behind me.

He stays quiet for a minute.

"We were just talking," he says narrowing his eyes at me.

He doesn't trust me.

"Fine, but you're lucky it was only me who heard you two."

He looks like he wants to argue but changes his mind.

"What did Max say?" he asks instead. "About the attack."

I instinctively raise my hand to the back of my neck and scratch at the skin there. How do I tell them that Max doesn't give a shit? Tris looks at me expectantly, but her expression quickly falls as I remain silent.

"He's not going to kick them out," she says simply.

"No," I say, "he's not."

I look at her apologetically.

Four scoffs. "What did he say?"

My eyes remain fixed on Tris as I answer Four's question. "He doesn't want to kick three…I guess now two…initiates out this close to the end of initiation. He thinks that if they are willing to go this far just to be a part of Dauntless then they will be extremely loyal once they are full members. And since Tris is still alive, he disagrees with me as to whether or not they were even really trying to kill her."

"Okay," Tris say.

"Okay?" Four parrots loudly. "Okay? That's all you have to say about this?"

"Well, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to be outraged? Do you want me to scream? Cry?" she asks now looking at Four. "You've been in this faction longer than me, so tell me, are you honestly surprised by Max's reaction?"

He lets out an exasperated sigh. "No. I'm not surprised."

"Exactly, so what is the point of being upset? It's not going to change anything."

"Well, I refuse to let you sleep in the same room as those attempted murderers," Four spits.

"You can stay with me," I interject quickly, looking at Tris and ignoring Four's eyes trying to burn a hole through my face.

"Or…she can stay with me," he offers, possessively.

"Back off Four," I say, closing my eyes and rolling my neck in frustration.

"Are the two of you capable of having a conversation that doesn't somehow turn into a pissing contest?"

Her language surprises me and I can't help but chuckle. She smiles back at me. Four scowls.

"Thank you both for your offers but I can't just move out of the dorms. People will wonder where I am and I don't think it'll go over very well if they find out I'm staying with a leader," she says looking at me. "Or our trainer," she finishes looking at Four.

She's not wrong. It'll only get worse for her if people think she is getting preferential treatment.

"You're not safe there," I say. "What if Peter tries something again?"

…and I'm not there to protect you?

"He won't," she says. "Drew can barely stay upright and Al…is gone. He doesn't have any more lackeys to take the fall. I think he’ll leave me alone."

"Plus..." Four starts sheepishly, "he may have been threatened with physical violence if he ever lays a hand on you again."

Tris and I both look at him. "You?" I ask with disbelief.

"Not exactly, but whether I was the one who did the threatening directly or not, he knows it came from me."

I want to be irritated that he insists on trying to be her saviour, her protector, but I'm also grateful that she has both of us looking out for her.

"Well that settles it," Tris says. "I'll go back to the dorms tonight. I should probably go find my friends before they start asking questions."

She moves to walk passed me but stops when I reach out my hand and take hers in mine. She looks up at me and I tilt my head down to her ear.

I want to insist that she come back to my apartment with me. I want to tell her that I'm afraid for her and that she'd be safer with me. I want to tell her that the thought of her near Peter without me there to watch out for her is making me physically ill. But I know none of that will make her change her mind.

"My door is always open," I say instead, barely above a whisper. I lift my head to look her in the eyes. "Be careful."

She nods, a small smile on her face, and squeezes my hand gently before turning and walking back towards the Pit.

My eyes follow her until she disappears from view. I hear a shuffling behind me that reminds me I am not alone.

"We need to talk," Four says as I turn to face him.

Chapter Text

I hear a shuffling behind me that reminds me that I am not alone.

"We need to talk," Four says as I turn to face him.

"So talk," I say back.

"The way I figure it, there are two scenarios when it comes to your interest in Tris."

I roll my eyes. "Enlighten me.”

"Scenario 1, you're using her. You and your band of Divergent hunters need her for something so you're trying to gain her trust. I haven't worked out what you want from her yet, but I'll get there."

I snort. Band of Divergent hunters. "My what?"

"Don't play dumb with me Eric. You've been doing it for years. Identifying and turning in people like her."

"Whatever you say," I reply noncommittally. "What's the other scenario?"

"Scenario 2, your feelings for her are genuine. You've actually started to care for someone other than yourself," he says before pausing. I'm not sure if he is expecting me to say something or not, but I don't so he continues. "Which is just sad because you might have her fooled right now, but eventually she will see you for who you really are."

His words hit a nerve and my tolerance for this conversation plummets. I take two steps forward which places our faces mere inches apart.

"And who is that?" I dare him, narrowing my eyes. He stares at me, practically snarling and I can feel his breath on my skin.

"Someone who just follows orders blindly. Someone who is afraid that if they ask questions or voice their opinions they won't be accepted. Someone who is so intent on being someone that he doesn't even realize that at the end of the day he is no one. You're just a scared, pathetic child desperately searching for approval and she might not see it now, but one day she will realize that you are nowhere near good enough for her."

Without thinking, I bring my arm up across my body and push us both forward, slamming his back into the wall. He stays still and our faces nearly touch. I keep my forearm pressed across his chest.

"And what, you really think you're good enough for her, Tobias?"

I watch as a number of emotions flash across his face before he raises his hands and shoves me off of him. I stumble backwards but manage to steady myself before I make contact with the wall behind me.

"Don't you dare call me that," he spits, as he walks passed me towards the Pit.

You'd think I'd be used to people knocking on my door in the middle of the night by now, but it still catches me by surprise every time. At least this time I'm still awake, my racing thoughts and my worry for Tris preventing me from falling asleep.

"I'm coming!" I yell, making my way to the door.

I pull it open to reveal a sobbing, distraught looking Tris. My heart begins to race as panic takes over my senses.

"What happened? Are you hurt? Did Peter do something?"

She shakes her head no in response before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around me, her cheek pressed against my chest.

I hug her back and rest my chin on the top of her head. For a moment we just stand there as her tears slowly subside. Remembering that we are nearly in the hallway, I look around checking that no one has seen us.

"We should go inside," I say quietly. I feel her nod in agreement against my chest. We pull apart from our hug and after closing the door, I lead her over to the couch.

"What happened?" I ask again, calmer this time.

"I had another nightmare. Peter hung me over the railing again, but this time I fell and when I got to the bottom Al was there…well his body was there…his eyes were open, emotionless, empty and he just stared at me. I couldn't get up, I couldn't move…I was just frozen in spot staring into his dead eyes. Right before I woke up, he told me it was my fault that he's dead."

Jesus. No wonder she was so upset.

"I woke up and I just started crying, I couldn't stop, and I didn't want anyone to hear me…so I just got up and ran. I kept running until I got here. I'm sorry that I woke you up."

Her tears have returned but this time they stream silently down her cheeks.

"Hey," I say, lifting my hands to the sides of her face and wiping away the tears with my thumbs. "I'm glad you're here, okay? I couldn't sleep knowing you were in the same room as Peter anyways. But you're safe now. And you know Al's death wasn't your fault, right?"

"He tried to apologize…begged me to forgive him. But I wouldn't, I couldn't. Instead, I told him I would kill him if he came anywhere near me. Maybe if I had forgiven him, he'd still be here."

I can't believe she's blaming herself for his death when less than twenty-four hours ago he was trying to kill her.

"Tris, this isn't your fault," I say, still holding her face in my hands. "No one would ever have expected you to forgive him for what he did to you. And even if you had forgiven him, he was never going to make it through initiation. He would have ended up factionless. There's a good chance that's why he did this."

She nods as though agreeing with me, but I can tell I've done nothing to assuage her guilt. She looks so fragile…bent but not quite broken. Is this my fault too? Am I pushing them all too hard?

She yawns. "Do you want to try to get some sleep?" I ask.

"Okay."

We both stand up and make our way over to my bed. Unlike last night, I lift up the blankets before laying down. Tris kicks off her shoes and gets in next to me, immediately curling into my side. We lay silently for a while and my eyes flutter shut.

"I know it was Jeanine you were talking to in the hall."

My eyes snap open.

"I couldn't place her voice at the time, but I was looking at one of the Erudite reports earlier and her picture was on it, and it just clicked."

She shifts and looks up at me. I don't respond but my face seems to give her all the confirmation she needs. She moves her head back again.

"Will talks about her like she's some kind of genius. He said something about how before he left, she was trying to develop a longer lasting serum for the simulations."

A longer lasting serum? But why would Jeanine need people to stay in the simulations longer? What is she hoping to do with this new serum? My mind goes back to my conversation with Max from a few days ago.

"How is she planning to turn us into her army then? How is she going to convince all of our members to go to war for her?"

"For now, that's need to know. There's still some kinks being worked out…but you'll find out soon enough."

No…she can't…that's insane…she can't possibly be planning to use this longer lasting serum to control her army. To control us…can she?

"Is she the one getting you to do it?" Tris asks, pulling me from my spiralling thoughts. "Is she the one who's making you search out Divergents?"

How much of my conversation with Jeanine did she hear?

"Please Eric, just be honest with me."

What do I do? Do I just tell her? How much do I tell her? I rub her back gently, trying to decide what to say. The fabric is soft against my rough hands, and I realize she is still wearing my hoodie. I smile.

You can do this Eric.

"Yes, Jeanine is the one leading the pursuit of Divergents," I say. I hold my breath as I wait for her reaction.

"Why?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

"I don't know."

She looks up at me again, an eyebrow raised.

"It's the truth, I promise. At first, I thought she was killing them to preserve our way of life. But lately…I don't know. Max made a comment that made me question it. I'm starting to think she needs them…needs you…for some reason. But I don't know why."

It has to be linked to everything else…Abnegation, the government, the serum…but how do Divergents come into play?

"Okay."

The room goes silent once more. This time it's my turn to interrupt it.

"If I ask you something, do you promise to be honest with me?"

I wait for her response.

"I promise."

"Do you have feelings for Four?"

I can feel her body tense against me, and I instantly regret asking. I chew at the inside of my lip as she thinks about my question.

"I don't know what I feel for him."

I should probably be angry. It's not the answer I was hoping for, but it also doesn't really surprise me. I may not be angry, but there's no denying the jealously and…sadness...that I feel right now. Maybe I should just walk away, like Four said, I'm not good enough for her anyways. If I walk away now, I can just go back to the way things were. Back to the ease of following orders blindly…it's what I do best after all.

"Do you have feelings for me?" It comes out before I have a chance to talk myself out of it.

Her body relaxes and she takes a deep breath. I wait impatiently for her to respond.

"After my nightmare I was so upset. I was just sitting in my bed freaking out and trying not to cry. I kept telling myself to calm down, to get a hold of myself. I tried to think about other things, but nothing worked. Not until you came into my thoughts and I knew right away that if I could just be with you…if I could just hear your heartbeat and feel your warmth…I'd be okay. I knew that if I could just get to you, I would feel safe."

Hope. I haven't felt it in a long time, but it's what I feel now. Except hope is dangerous…hope leaves you open to getting hurt and I've been hurt by it too many times.

But could giving into it be worth it this time?

"I know it's not fair to you…"

"It's fine. Let's just try to sleep," I say, squeezing her gently against me. I feel her grip on me tighten, almost like she's afraid I'll slip away. "We don't have to figure things out tonight."

"Okay," she responds uneasily, the tips of her fingers pressing into my side.

I lean my head forward and lightly kiss the top of her head. She sighs as her grip on me loosens. We both relax into each other.

I'm so fucked.

Sometime during the night our bodies shift, and I wake up on my side with Tris' back pressed up against me. I can feel the steady rise and fall of her breathing. The comfort her presence provides me is undeniable. I've never had anyone, or anything put me at ease the way she does without even trying.

The thought of walking away, of moving on and letting her figure things out with Four, re-enters my mind. But how can I give this up? I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her in closer.

She moves against me, but her breathing remains even.

Is it selfish of me to want her?

"You think too much."

I let out a small laugh. How did she know?

"You're awake."

"So are you."

"Did you sleep okay?" I ask.

"Yes actually. Better than I have in weeks," she says rotating to face me.

"Good. I wish we could just spend the day like this."

"In bed?" she asks innocently.

"In bed," I reply, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively. "Kidding."

She giggles and it surprises me how nice it is to hear.

"We should probably head to the dining hall for breakfast soon."

"Do we have to?"

"Have to? No. Should? Yes. You said it yourself, it'll just get worse for you if the other initiates think you're shacking up with a leader," I say, winking at her. She laughs in return. "I figure if we get you to the dining hall soon, you can just tell them you woke up early and went for a walk or something. They won't even know that you didn't sleep in your bed."

"I guess you're right, we should probably get up and get going," she says, but remains in place, her head resting on her hands, propping it up just enough to stop the pillow from obscuring her gaze. Her hair flows out endlessly behind her and her lips hold a small hint of a smile.

I bring my hand up to caress the side of her face while looking into her eyes. Instinctively, I rub my thumb slowly across her lower lip. Her breath hitches but she doesn't pull away. The urge to kiss her takes over and I lean my head forward.

What if this isn't what she wants? She basically admitted to having feelings for Four. Will she think I'm pressuring her? At the last second, I tilt my chin upward and settle for gently kissing her on the forehead.

When I pull away, she looks slightly…disappointed?

"I think I have a new toothbrush under the sink in the bathroom. I'll go find it for you," I say, getting up and out of bed.

I shake my head. What the fuck am I doing?

It doesn't take long for us both to get ready. As we walk down the corridor towards the dining hall, she reaches towards me and takes my hand in hers. The smart thing to do would be to pull away. What if someone sees us? It's risky, but I can't bring myself to stop it.

Luckily, we don't cross paths with anyone as the dining hall doors come into view. I stop before we reach it. Noticing, Tris turns around to face me.

"You go in first."

"Okay," she says, her eyes locked on mine. For a split second, I swear her gaze wanders to my lips. Did I imagine that? Before I have time to contemplate doing anything about it, her eyes grow comically wide as she looks behind me.

"What?" I say, confused.

"Christina and Will. Behind you," she whispers, dropping my hand.

Shit.

As soon as the words leave her mouth I hear them approaching. Their chatter stops abruptly, and I assume they've spotted us.

"Play along," I mouth. The nod Tris gives me is barely noticeable.

"I think I may have underestimated you, Stiff. You might make it through initiation yet."

It's simple, but they won't have heard anything else and as long as they didn't see her hand in mine it should do the trick.

I don't wait for Tris to respond before walking passed her and pushing through the doors to the dining hall. As they swing closed behind me, I hear Christina begin to speak.

"What did that creep want?" she asks.

I roll my eyes and walk towards the back of the hall to get breakfast.

It's still pretty early so the dining hall is far from full. Sam is the only other person at the leadership table, which is fine by me as the quiet has given me time to think about what Tris said in regards to Jeanine's longer lasting serum.

I'm going to ask Max about it. He knows more than he's telling me. Maybe if I go to him with this information he will finally fill me in on the plan.

I look up from my empty plate and smile when I see Tris sitting and talking with her friends. I'm glad she has people to take her mind off of everything that's going on.

"You feeling okay?" Sam asks, noticing my expression.

I ignore him and stand up.

I'm going to head to the leadership offices now; there's a good chance Max will already be there. On my way out, I walk passed Tris' table and can't help but overhear their conversation.

"Come on Tris, whose sweater is this?" Christina says, pulling at the sleeve of Tris'…my hoodie. "You got a secret boyfriend or something?"

I look over as Christina giggles. Tris blushes and our eyes meet. She quickly looks away.

"I already told you. It's my sweater, sometimes you just need something comfortable to wear. You know?"

Christina looks at her apprehensively. "I bet it's that Dauntless born, Uriah."

"Just let it go Chris," Will chimes in with a small laugh.

As expected, Max is already in his office when I arrive. His door is open, but I knock to announce my presence.

"Eric," he says. "You need something?"

"I was hoping you had a second to talk."

His eyes flit to the clock on his monitor. "I have a lot of shit to get through this morning, can it wait?"

"It's about the serum Jeanine is working on. The longer lasting one," I say.

He seems a bit surprised, but not as surprised as I expected him to be.

"Close the door and sit down."

I do as I'm told and once seated, I look at him expectantly.

"Where did you hear about that?" he asks.

"I overheard some of the initiates talking," I say, making sure to avoid bringing up Tris. "The Erudite transfer mentioned it. He didn't seem to have a clue as to what it's for. Actually, he didn't even seem remotely interested in its purpose. He was just explaining to his friends how smart Jeanine is. But it got me thinking about our last conversation about Jeanine."

He looks at me as I speak, calm and composed. "Refresh my memory?"

"We were talking about how Jeanine intends to turn Dauntless into her army, and I was curious as to how she planned to make that happen."

"Right, so what does this have to do with that?"

I can tell by the way he asks the question that he knows where I'm going with this, but for some reason he wants me to be the one to say it.

"Jeanine is planning to use the longer lasting serum on the members of Dauntless in order to control them. I'm not sure how exactly, but I'm positive that that's what she is planning." Saying it…accusing her outright…is a bit of a gamble, but beating around the bush is pointless right now.

"Damn Eric. I keep forgetting you were raised Erudite. I'm impressed." I must be at least partially right then. "I'm not officially authorized to discuss the whole plan with you. We were only going to bring all of leadership on board in a couple of days, but since you figured out the key part of our strategy on your own…what the hell."

He pauses for a second and looks like he is trying to figure out where to start.

This is it, no matter what he says, I can't react. If I don't agree with whatever this plan is he can't know that.

"Yes, Jeanine intends to use a new serum that she created in order to bend most of the members of Dauntless to her will. The serum needs to last longer than the usual simulation serum in order to stretch the hallucination farther. It contains long range transmitters which will allow the program to be run from here, at our headquarters, while controlling those under its influence all the way in Abnegation."

Holy shit. I mean, as an abstract concept, I get it, but to actually pull it off? It might be evil, but it's also incredibly impressive.

"Okay, I get that Jeanine wants to take out the government and put herself in power. But what does Dauntless get out of it? What's in it for us, for you?"

Max smirks.

"She's promised that when she's in power, Dauntless will be by her side. She's offered us positions in the government, a chance to have a say in what happens. Think about that Eric. All the things we could change? All the benefits we would reap?" The glint in his eyes in practically manic. "Her plan is to have Dauntless absorb whatever willing members of Abnegation remain after the attack. I doubt there will be many. Plus, with everything they are hiding and without everything being given away to that drain on society, the Factionless, she has assured us that wealth, comfort and prosperity are in our futures."

It would be nice to have a say in things and not just have to blindly go along with whatever Abnegation decides. A chance for the factions to work together and to thrive instead of just…surviving. I can see the appeal. But at what cost? Loss of trust from our faction? Countless lives? Can the factions really ever work together in government after all of that death and deception? Can a flourishing society really be built from the ashes of war?

"I can see that your mind is racing. Don't worry, you'll have your pick of positions. You are an asset to this faction Eric. Jeanine and I both know that. We will find something fitting of your skills."

My mind is racing, but the thought of how I would benefit personally hadn't even crossed my mind.

"When is this happening?" I ask.

"Soon, very soon. We don't have an exact date yet. The serum will be administered sometime after initiation ends, but the simulation won't be active until we start the program. Not everyone will be injected. Leadership and a few hand selected members will be excluded. There's still some technicalities we are working through before we execute. When it does go down, Jeanine has a special task for you. There's something she needs, something that's hidden in Abnegation. After we've rounded them all up, you'll lead a team to search for it."

"Why me?"

"Whatever she's looking for, it has to do with Divergents. I'm not sure how exactly. She's keeping that close to her chest for now, but she trusts you and she knows that you'll stop at nothing to find it."

I was hoping coming in here would give me some answers, and is has, but shit, is this ever a lot to process.

"Let me make sure I have this straight. After initiation is over, everyone will be injected with this serum…wait, how are we convincing everyone to get injected?"

"We're going to tell them that the serum contains a tracking device, that it's a precaution to keep our faction members safe."

They've thought of everything.

"Okay. Everyone is injected. When we are ready, we activate the simulation from here. Our…army then heads to Abnegation, kills off the government and rounds up everyone else. We give them the option to either join Dauntless or…be killed?" I say, clarifying if that's what he meant absorbing willing members of Abnegation.

He nods.

"While most of the teams are dealing with that, me and my team go in search of this thing Jeanine needs that has something to do with Divergents."

"Pretty much."

"Where exactly do we look? What does it look like? What does it do?"

"All I know is that it's somewhere in Abnegation and that it will be unmistakeable. You'll know immediately when you see it. Aside from that, you know as much as me," he replies, shrugging.

Oh good, so I'm basically in charge of locating the freaking Holy Grail. Perfect.

"So, what do you think?"

What do I think? I think it sounds insane. I think it sounds like genocide. I think it's going to blow up in their faces and cause revolts and civil war once everyone wakes up and realizes that they have been turned into murderers.

"I think it's a bold move. I can't say that a change in regime won't be nice. Being involved in making the decisions for all of the factions, that would be amazing," I say enthusiastically.

I can't let Max know how I'm really feeling about all of this. This plan is too big for my opinion to matter. He'd probably kill me on the spot if I object.

"I knew you'd be on board," he says, smiling. "Now, you aren't supposed to know all of this quite yet so it's imperative that you keep your mouth shut. Don't assume anyone else knows about the plan. Understand?"

"I understand," I reply, nodding.

"Do you have any questions?"

A million.

"No, I think I'm good for now."

"Good. Now I should get back to what I was working on."

I get up and move to leave.

"Oh and Eric?"

"Yes?"

"I know you'll make me proud and with all the new positions opening up alongside Erudite, who knows, maybe in the near future my position will be up for grabs," he says, winking at me.

I smile before turning and leaving. Max's job has been my goal for the future since I joined leadership, but is it really what I want if I have to go along with this insane plan to get it?

What is this thing Jeanine needs me to find and how do Tris and the other Divergents play into it?

What the hell do I do now?

Chapter Text

Countless dilapidated buildings pass by in a blur as my feet hit the pavement one after the other. The sun beats down and I round a corner only to be met with another row of abandoned structures. My t-shirt clings to the sweat on my back, my breathing is heavy, and I could use a drink of water, but I push forward. After my meeting with Max, I tried to distract myself by watching the backlog of Dauntless born simulation footage I haven't gotten through yet, but I was too distracted to focus. I needed to get out of there.

Running isn't typically my cardio of choice, but I didn't think my knuckles could handle another round with the heavy bag. Besides, leaving the compound was the only way to ensure no one would bother me.

What are Jeanine and Max thinking? Do they honestly believe all of the factions will side with them after they pull a move like this behind everyone's backs? Or could the leaders of other factions already be aware of what is going on? Max never said one way or the other, but I can't imagine Amity would condone this level of violence and I'm fairly certain Candor believe they should be the ones running the government, so I highly doubt either of them know what's in the works.

Will this attack on Abnegation result in Amity and Candor declaring war on Erudite and Dauntless? What will happen when Jeanine and Max cut off the factionless from supplies? Will they somehow rise up? There are too many unknowns for someone as intelligent and rational as Jeanine to have overlooked. So how is she planning to deal with the fallout? How is she expecting to get them on board?

Unless she doesn't care whether or not they're on board. Could she be intending to control them the same way she plans to control her Dauntless army? Could she really have figured out a way to take away the free will of an entire city? No, that has to be impossible.

I slow down and catch my breath. I've run farther than I realized. I take in my surroundings, one derelict structure after another. The everlasting consequence of a long-finished war. Is this what the future holds for our factions?

I always thought the biggest decision of my life would be ignoring my aptitude test results and choosing Dauntless in order to start a new life. How did that decision lead me to making a choice between following orders that could start a full-blown war or going against my faction leaders and becoming a faction traitor?

It almost feels like I'm in a fear simulation. When I was young, my mother's mental instability made for a very chaotic upbringing. The lack of consistency in my Erudite life led me to crave control. The first time I took control of my life was choosing to leave my birth faction. After that, I was able to take the reins and make all of my own decisions.

Do I follow my leaders? Yes, but I do so because I choose to, because up until this point I agreed with their views, not because I'm scared not to. To this day, I fear losing that control. I fear the unknown and the chaos it can bring.

The problem is, no matter what choice I make right now, the unknown is unavoidable. Whether I choose to go along with faction war or I choose to try to stop it, the life that I've built for myself will no longer exist.

I continue running, this time towards my faction rather than away from it. As much as I'd like to avoid dealing with all of this, the end of initiation is quickly approaching, and my decision can't wait.

The journey back to the compound feels unexpectedly short considering how far I ran. Part of me hoped the fresh air would hold the answers to my problems but I still don't know what my next steps will be.

What I do know is that I refuse to take part in a war that will tear my city apart.

The cold water offers my body relief, but my mind refuses to quiet. I know I need to figure out a way to stop this, but how is one person supposed to stop the plans of two factions?

Is there anyone I can trust to help me?

The obvious answer is the Abnegation transfer who has been occupying all of my thoughts lately, but involving Tris seems unfair to her. She's dealing with so much already. Will she be able to handle this on top of it all?

There's only one other person I can think of who would be unquestionably against Jeanine and Max's war plans.

Tobias fucking Eaton.

I let out a frustrated groan at the thought. With his Abnegation roots and his continuous criticism of the new initiation process there's no way he would tolerate what Jeanine and Max are planning. Plus, as much as I hate to admit it, he is intelligent and capable. Between the three of us maybe we could figure something out.

Fantastic, just fantastic…joining forces with two Stiffs in order to stop my city from being destroyed. What has my life become?

I rotate the knob, turning off the shower, then reach for my towel. After using it to dry off, I tie it around my waist and pad out of the bathroom towards my wardrobe.

On the way, I hear the familiar ding signifying a new video message on my tablet and make a beeline for my side table.

New video message from the office of Jeanine Matthews.

This can't be good. Jeanine never contacts me through my public tablet. I swipe the notification and Jeanine's assistant comes into view.

"Mr. Coulter, Ms. Matthews has instructed me to inform you that one Beatrice Prior showed up at Erudite headquarters today. After a short meeting with Ms. Prior, Ms. Matthews requisitioned a vehicle to transport her back to the Dauntless compound. She will be arriving at approximately 1500 hrs. Please kindly remind your initiates that it is inappropriate for them to go gallivanting around other factions unaccompanied."

The video goes black, and I blink at the screen. Jesus Tris, what the hell were you thinking? Going to Erudite headquarters and being noticed by Jeanine…she may as well have ran down the street screaming look at me, I'm divergent.

I check the time on my tablet, 14:52. She'll be back soon. I rush to get dressed and make my way out the door.

This girl is going to be the death of me.

I lean against the wall next to the side entrance of the compound as a large black town car comes into view. Frederick, Jeanine's personal driver, emerges from the vehicle and opens the passenger door. Tris steps out. Her expression turns into a mixture of relief and guilt when she sees me.

"Thank you Frederick," I say to the large, imposing man standing next to her. "Come with me initiate."

I turn towards the door and hold it open as Tris slowly makes her way over to me.

"Eric, I…"

"Not here," I cut her off. "Just go inside."

We walk down the hallway in silence. I stop at the entrance of one of the narrowly used interrogation rooms and motion for Tris to step inside. I close the door behind us and make sure my back is to the camera. The interrogation rooms are wired up for filming and audio, but when not in use, the footage isn't stored, and the audio is disabled.

"Listen carefully," I say. "There is a camera behind us. I doubt anyone is watching, and they won't be able to hear us, but just in case be aware of your actions. I am your leader, and you left this compound without permission. If anyone is watching, they need to think that that is the only thing going on here. Do you understand me?"

Her eyes look up in search of the camera and she nods.

"Okay, now tell me what the hell you were thinking going to Erudite of all places? Do you know how dangerous it is for someone like you to be noticed there?" I nearly yell.

"I wasn't thinking," she starts.

"No shit."

"I was upset, and I just needed to get out of here, so I ran. I jumped on the train without knowing where I was going and when I saw the Erudite headquarters approaching, I figured the universe was telling me to go see Caleb. So, I jumped off and I went to look for him."

I guess we both spent the morning running from something.

"Tris, do you know how stupid that was? And to be seen by Jeanine, of all people? God, how could you go and put a target on your back? I mean, Jeanine, she already…"

I trail off, how much classified information am I ready to share with her? And how much do I trust that this room is secure?

"She already what?" Tris asks curiously.

"She already has access to all of you simulation footage," I say, lowering my voice.

"Yeah, I kind of figured that out," she admits, looking away from me.

"What do you mean, you figured that out? Tris, what did you two talk about in your meeting?"

"She asked me about my aptitude test. Told me I was one of only two people from Abnegation to ever transfer to Dauntless…"

That doesn't explain how she knows about Jeanine watching the sim footage.

"And…?"

"And…she asked about my aptitude test, if I knew that my results were manually entered…and if I knew that one of my fear simulations failed to record…she also made a comment about how quickly I've been making it through the sims."

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" I explode.

I thought I had been protecting her, but Jeanine has obviously seen the same things in Tris' simulations that I have. Yet even after watching her sims and talking to her, Tris is still here…still alive…so Jeanine must have doubts about her divergence. Maybe I can still keep her safe.

"Tris, going there was stupid and reckless…"

"I know that."

I sigh.

Arguing about this is pointless. What's done is done. There's no taking it back now. Besides, we have bigger things to deal with.

I take a deep breath. "I need to tell you something…" I start but am interrupted by the door to the interrogation room swinging open followed by the familiar, yet always unwelcome, presence of Four. Why is he everywhere?

"For fuck's sake Four, are you stalking me or something?" I say, frustrated by his sudden arrival.

"What exactly is going on in here?" he demands.

"How did you even know we were in here?" Tris asks.

Four nods towards the camera in response.

"Oh, so you are stalking me then."

Four rolls his eyes. "You asked me to keep an eye on her, so I'm keeping an eye on her. Besides, after she ran out earlier, I started to get worried."

"You knew? You knew that she left the compound, and you didn't feel the need to tell me? Or at least go after her yourself?"

"You were nowhere to be found," he says pointedly, "and I didn't think she would have wanted me to."

"And why not, exactly? Actually," I turn my attention towards Tris, "you didn't tell me what upset you so much that you felt the need to run away."

"The fear landscapes."

"I kissed her."

They respond at the same time, talking over each other.

He kissed her. The words are like a punch to the gut, the air from my lungs seemingly disappearing. I look between the two of them. An image of them kissing infiltrates my mind and I have to swallow the bile that rises in my throat.

"Eric…" Tris starts.

"Stop," I say, raising my hand. You knew this was going to happen, Eric, she was never going to choose someone like you. I close my eyes and force five deep breaths into my lungs. Yes, he kissed her, but then, according to him, she bolted because of it. Could that mean it wasn't what she wanted? God, I don't have the capacity for this right now. I shake my head. "The reason is irrelevant, and we've already moved passed your little field trip."

"It won't happen again," Tris says softly and something in her voice makes me question whether she's talking about leaving the compound or the kiss.

"We should go, Tris," Four says to her.

"No," she responds firmly. "You go ahead. I'm not done talking to Eric."

"Come on Tris." I can hear the exasperation in his voice.

"I'm not going anywhere," her tone is firm but not harsh. Almost like she wants him to know she is serious but also doesn't want to upset him. Regardless of what the kiss meant, it's clear that she cares for him.

"Fine," he says curtly. "Then neither am I."

I would give anything to just walk out of this room right now, get a drink and burn the contrived image of them kissing from my mind, but the looming threat of Max and Jeanine's plot stops me. This is bigger than a kiss, bigger than my feelings, bigger than all of us.

I look at Tris who is now glaring at Four.

"Tris, how much do you trust him?" I ask, pointing at Number Boy.

"What?" she says, obviously not expecting my question.

"Tell me honestly, can I trust him?" I say through gritted teeth.

She looks back and forth between us, swallowing hard before responding. "Yes, you can trust him."

I raise my hands, massaging the stiff muscles of my shoulders in vain and rolling my neck as I take another deep breath.

"Okay."

This is it, the last chance to turn back. The last chance to change my mind. The last chance to make the easy choice instead of the hard one.

"I found out some information earlier today. I need to talk to you both about it."

"What's going on, Eric?" Four asks sounding intrigued and concerned at the same time. Considering our relationship, he must know whatever I have to say is serious if I'm about to share it with him.

"Not here, it's not safe enough. After dinner, both of you, meet me at my apartment," I say. "Come separately. I'll leave the door unlocked so just walk in. Try not to be seen."

Tris looks at me, alarmed. "Eric, what…"

"Not here," I cut her off. "Tonight. Okay?"

They both nod.

"Good. Now we can't all leave here together. I'll go first and you two wait a minute before following suit."

I don't wait for them to respond before exiting the room.

I'm not one for small talk. I don't like talking for the sake of talking. If you're going to speak you should have something useful to say. In spite of that, the relentless loud chatter of the dining hall has always been one of my favourite parts of being Dauntless.

At Erudite, the conversations are calm and composed. Everyone is extremely rational and professional with each other. Even the most heated of arguments rarely get as loud as a typical Dauntless conversation. When I transferred, the biggest culture shock I encountered was the familiarity and affection everyone here showed each other.

There's just something so uniquely Dauntless about the way everyone here interacts. It doesn't matter who you are, whether you were born here or transferred, there's an unspoken rule that if you chose Dauntless and you made it through initiation you belong here, unequivocally. No one here questions your intelligence. No one here judges you for your choices. You don't have to walk on eggshells around anyone. At Dauntless, you are just free. Free to be you.

I look out across the rows of Dauntless, talking and laughing cheerfully. Innocently eating their burgers and cake. I wonder how free everyone here would feel if they knew what was going to happen to them. What would they think if they knew their faction was in the process of betraying them? What would they do if they knew that their faction leaders had sold them out to Erudite in exchange for power and wealth?

"Eric," Max says, leaning over my shoulder from behind me, interrupting my thoughts. "Tomorrow night, after the initiation celebration, we will be meeting in the leadership conference room. It's time to bring everyone up to speed."

I nod my head, and he walks away.

They must be nearly ready, if not completely ready, if they are bringing everyone in on the plan.

I look over at Tris who is sitting with Will, Christina, Uriah and Lynn. While her friends are among those talking and laughing, I can tell that Tris isn't really paying attention. I'm sure our impending meeting is distracting her.

Four on the other hand is nowhere to be seen. He may have agreed to meet, but I'm starting to wonder if he will actually show up.

Finishing the last bite of my burger, I get up and discard my tray. On the way out, I make sure to pass by Tris' table, catching her eye briefly to let her know I'm heading back to my apartment.

I've barely managed to use the washroom when Tris arrives. I'm surprised she's here already. She can't have waited longer than a minute or two before following me out.

"You didn't wait very long before leaving then?" I say, raising my eyebrow at her.

She shrugs. "I wanted to talk to you before Four gets here."

"About what?" I ask.

"About what happened earlier. About what happened between me and Four."

Do we really have to do this?

"I thought we moved on from that," I reply, sighing and crossing my arms.

"No, you moved on from it and didn't let me explain what happened."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather not discuss what the two of you do in private." I intend for it to sound neutral, but my jealousy leaks through.

"Eric, it's not like that," she says kindly, walking towards me. Once in front of me, she lifts her hand and rests it on my forearm. My first instinct is to push her away, but her hand feels soft and warm, and my body starts to relax under her touch. How does she do that?

"Then what's it like?" I ask, resigned to the fact that this conversation isn't going away.

"What happened with Four, it shouldn't…" she starts but is interrupted by Four walking through the door.

It has to be some kind of a superpower; his timing skills are unparalleled. 

Tris appears to be just as frustrated by his arrival as I am with the intrusion. She drops her hand from my arm and turns to face him.

Four looks between us and it's easy to identify the jealousy on his face. Clearly, we'd both rather the other one wasn't in Tris' life.

"So, what is this all about, Eric?" he asks, ignoring the tension in the room.

Right, we're all here to talk about Max and Jeanine's plans. Where do I even start?

"I think we should sit," I say, walking over to the kitchen table.

They both follow me silently and once seated, look at me expectantly. The serum? The attack? The random object Jeanine needs?

"I assume you've read the articles that have been coming out about Abnegation lately?"

They both visibly tense.

"I'll take that as a yes. I don't think it's any secret that Erudite believe they should be in charge of the government, well, the articles were just the first step in Jeanine's plan to take over."

Neither of them look particularly surprised…interesting.

"When I visited Caleb earlier today," Tris starts, "he told me that Erudite has been making daily speeches against Abnegation. He was sure that something big was coming."

Four looks at her, seemingly caught off guard by this admission.

"Something big is coming, something way bigger than Caleb probably realizes," I reply. "I found out today, that Jeanine and Max are planning to attack Abnegation. They are going to kill off their leadership, force their members to choose between joining Dauntless or execution and then place themselves at the head of the government."

"What?" Tris' says loudly, her eyes growing wide. After a beat, "My father," she adds quietly.

"Yes, both of your father's," I say. Tris and I look over at Four simultaneously. The muscles in his jaw tighten but he remains silent. I look back over at Tris; her expression is a strange mixture of anger and sympathy. She must know who Four really is.

"How?" she asks.

"They are going to use the members of our faction as their army. They are going to send us in to take out the leaders of Abnegation and round up the rest of the members."

"But…" says Tris. "They can't think we will agree to that? Dauntless may be trained to fight and yes, a lot of the people here agree that Abnegation shouldn't run the government, but they aren't murderers… we aren't murderers."

"No, they don't think everyone will agree to it." I take a deep breath before continuing. "Jeanine has developed a longer lasting serum that will allow anyone injected with it to be run by a program from here. They're going to inject everyone with it, tomorrow, at the initiation celebration. They're going to claim it's a tracking device to keep our members safe."

"They're going to trick us and drug us into fighting for them?" she says, disgust unmistakeable in her tone.

I nod, then look over at Four who hasn't said anything since I began talking. "You've been pretty quiet over there."

He looks tense but also like he has something to say.

"Anything to add?" I encourage.

Instead of responding to me, he turns to face Tris, "Can I trust him?" He asks, parroting my words from earlier today.

"He's trusting you, isn't he?" she replies without hesitation. "Think about what he just told us. Based on their track record, I'm pretty sure they would kill him if they knew he was talking to us."

Oh, I would be dead in an instant.

He nods in response before turning back towards me. "About a month ago, I managed to mirror Max's computer. It wasn't clear exactly what they were planning, and I didn't realize how integral Erudite were, but I found what looked like war plans. Commands, supply lists and maps. Maps of Abnegation."

Shit, he's even smarter than I realized. Erudite smart. Just like Tris…I wonder, could he be…just like Tris?

"The commands are likely part of the program. If they plan to put this many people under a simulation, they'll have to have a lot of predetermined commands. What about the maps? Was there anything significant on those?" I ask.

"The houses of all of the leaders were clearly marked, as well as a few other buildings. The buildings didn't seem to have much of a connection so I couldn't tell why they had marked them."

"They're looking for something," I say. "There's something in Abnegation that Jeanine needs. After all the members are rounded up, I'm supposed to go in search of it with my team. I don't know what it does or even what it looks like…I don't think Jeanine even knows what it looks like…but she's desperate for it and it has something to do with Divergents. It's possible that those sites are search locations."

"When is this attack happening?" Tris asks.

"I don't know," I say, shaking my head. "Max said it would be shortly after everyone is injected with the serum, but last we talked they were still working out some kinks. After the celebration tomorrow they are gathering all of Dauntless leadership. Hopefully I'll find out more then."

They both nod. "Is there a way that we can stop everyone from being injected with the serum?"

I sigh. "Honestly? I don't know that there is. They're going to administer it in less than 24 hours. We're all expected to be at the final test in the morning and I'm sure everything is locked up...if not guarded. I don't even know where they're keeping it. If we had more time, maybe we could locate it and figure out a way to destroy it. But at this point, I think the best we can do is figure out how to keep you two from being injected."

"They won't inject you?" asks Tris.

"There's no point. They think I'm on their side. I'll be more useful to them with my freewill than not. Max said leadership and a few select members will be spared."

"Do you know who will be administering it?"

I shake my head no.

"We need more time," Tris says, sighing heavily in exasperation.

"At least we know when it's coming and we know to avoid it," Four adds. "Without this information we likely would have just accepted the serum. We'll just have to think on our feet and make sure we don't get injected."

"So, what do we do after that? Sure, the three of us get away without being injected, but what then? We can't just wait for them to start the sim. We have to warn everyone, we have to warn Abnegation."

"It'll be hard to warn the Dauntless," I say. "Most people here are very loyal to our leadership, to Max. There aren't many of them that would take our word over what he tells them. Abnegation is different. Especially with it being both of your birth factions. I think our best bet would be to warn them as soon as possible. Maybe someone there will be able to help us strategize, or at the very least, they can prepare themselves for a fight."

"We'll go after the celebration," Four says. "You said Max is holding a leadership meeting then, right?"

I nod yes in response.

"Good," Four continues, "Then they'll be distracted. Tris and I can likely leave the compound without anyone noticing. We'll take the trains and then head on foot the rest of the way. It'll be late, but I know the layout like the back of my hand. It should be easy for us to track down all of the members of the council."

"Okay," I agree. Do I like that the two of them will be alone in the middle of the night traveling across the city? No. But they're right, someone needs to warn Abnegation, and I can't leave the compound right now. My absence would be too obvious. "Hopefully Max will share some concrete information about when the attack is happening and then at least we will have a timeline to work with. Once you've warned Abnegation, make sure you get back here. I'll let you know what happened at the meeting and we can figure out our next move. Hopefully we can figure out a way to make sure the serum never gets activated then it won't matter that the others were injected."

"This is completely insane," Tris says.

She's not wrong.

"I know," I say. "I never realized Max and Jeanine were capable of something this horrific."

"We should all get some sleep," Four says, looking at Tris. "Between the final test, the celebration and heading to Abnegation it's going to be a long day."

"He's right," I say, agreeing with Four for the second time tonight. "You guys should head out. Get some rest."

Four walks towards the door then stops, turning to look at Tris expectantly. We both stand and make our way over to him.

"You go," she says. "I'll follow in a few minutes."

He raises an eyebrow at her and looks like he's about to argue, but instead, opens the door and leaves.

"You probably could have just left with him," I say.

"I didn't get to finish what I was saying before Four barged in here."

Oh right, we were talking about their kiss.

"I'm too tired for this Tris."

"Would you just shut up and listen to what I have to say? Stop trying to brush this off and pretend your assumptions are facts. God you are so stubborn, just let me freaking explain!"

I blink a few times, surprised by her outburst. Then without warning, I start to laugh. "I'm sorry," I say through my laughter. "I just wasn't expecting that."

She rolls her eyes but smiles. "So, you'll let me talk?"

"Yes, I promise I'll shut up," I say, pretending to zip my lips closed.

"Good. Okay, so after the fear landscapes, I was upset. I was meant to be going through one of Lauren's fears but somehow it transformed into that night, at the Chasm. When I woke up from the sim, I was crying…like what happens after my nightmares. I ran out of the room and Four followed me. He tried to calm me down by hugging me and I just kept crying." She looks down at her lap, running her thumbnail underneath her other fingernails one at a time. "Once I had a bit of control over myself, I let go of him and that's when he kissed me. At first, I kissed him back, but then I just freaked out. I pulled away and I ran, I ran all the way out of the compound, and I jumped onto the train. I wasn't sure at first why kissing him made me react like that. But on the drive back to the compound, Frederick told me that Jeanine had called you. I knew you would be waiting for me, and I just felt so guilty."

She looks back up at me.

"I thought maybe the guilt was from leaving the compound, or because Jeanine had caught me but then I started thinking about my kiss with Four and I was so worried about what you would think of me. I couldn't shake the feeling that by kissing him I was cheating on you… I know that's crazy."

She looks away again. My heart beats fast and I wonder briefly if she can hear it. Finding out that she kissed Four had felt like being cheated on.

"I know that we aren't together, and we can both kiss whoever we want. I know that last time we talked about it, I was still kind of trying to figure out my feelings and you were so nice about it, nicer than I probably deserved. I do care about both of you, that hasn't changed, but kissing Four…well, it made me realize that the only person I want to kiss is you."

As she finishes, she looks me directly in the eye, seemingly waiting for my reaction.

For a second, all I can do is stare back.

This is it—the moment I’ve been waiting for, hoping for.

Chapter Text

Without hesitation, I move to stand directly in front of her. She looks so vulnerable gazing up at me with her big round eyes. I wouldn't have thought it possible, but my heart beats faster.

I lift my hand to the back of her head and gently brush my fingertips across the nape of her neck. She raises her hand and lightly wraps her fingers around my forearm in response. Her eyes flutter closed as I run my thumb down her jaw line, her lips parting slightly in reaction to my touch. A buzz of anticipation runs through my body, and I lower my head, pressing my lips against hers. The kiss starts out gentle but, as her mouth moves against mine, I increase the pressure.

I feel her free arm wrap around me and her hand slide up into my hair. The intensity of the kiss escalates, and I move my arms around her waist, pulling her against me. She moans into the kiss, and my heart skips a beat. For a few minutes, we kiss, pouring all of the tension and all of the emotions from the past months into this moment.

When we reluctantly break apart, the room is silent aside from our breathing. I lean my forehead against hers and we both drop our arms down to our sides, immediately seeking out each other's hands. Fingers intertwined, we stand silently allowing our breathing to return to normal.

"I've wanted this for so long," I say, breaking the silence. I kiss her lightly and I can feel her smiling against my lips.

I stand upright to look at her. Grinning, cheeks flushed and swollen lips, she has never looked more beautiful to me.

"Me too," she says softly, pushing herself up onto the tips of her toes and brushing her lips against mine before lowering herself back down.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" I ask without thinking.

She glances quickly towards my bedroom door and immediately looks distressed when her focus returns to me. I realize she's misinterpreted what I've said.

"I…I don't…I'm not ready…" she stutters.

"That's not what I meant," I say quickly, cutting her off. "I just meant, stay with me, like you have the last two nights. We don't have to do anything other than sleep. I just figured with all of the craziness coming up we might not have a lot of chances left to be alone together."

She lets out a sigh of relief. "Sorry, I just…you're the first person I've ever kissed…like that…and you're older…I don't know what your expectations..."

"Tris, stop. I swear, that's not what I was asking. Okay?"

"Okay," she says, nodding.

"Good, so will you stay?" I say giving her my cheekiest smile.

She giggles and bites her bottom lip while nodding. "Yes, I'll stay. Of course I'll stay."

Letting go of one hand only, I start walking towards my bedroom gently pulling her along with me.

After changing, we make our way to the bed to get comfortable. Tris lays her head on my chest, and I inhale the now familiar scent of her hair. Her finger traces the patterns of the tattoos on my arm, up and over, through the maze until she reaches the Dauntless symbol.

"What result did your aptitude test give you?"

Her question catches me off guard. I've never actually spoken to anyone about my test results.

"Erudite, why?"

"I was just curious. Don't get me wrong, you definitely fit in here…more than I do…but something never quite matched up to me. Your mind just doesn't seem to stop. There's this face you make, a lot, where you squint a little and your eyebrows," she looks up at me and reaches to touch the space between them, "furrow a tiny bit, while your eyes just seem to be focusing on nothing…but I can tell that you're overthinking…and that just doesn't seem to be the way most Dauntless operate."

"And you're too perceptive for Dauntless," I say chuckling. "I have a feeling your Divergence is going to give me a run for my money."

"Do you think it would be easier? If our aptitude tests were the same as each other?"

"Easier? Maybe…but easy is boring and I hate being bored."

"That sounds pretty Dauntless to me. Are you sure you aren't Divergent too?" she says, smiling.

I roll my eyes back at her.

"Who administered your aptitude test anyways?"

After watching her fear simulation, I meant to look into it, but it somehow slipped my mind.

"What?"

"Your test, who did it? Who was the one who told you about your Divergence?"

She looks thoughtful for a moment. Could she be worried about outing them?

"Tori, why?"

"She's been administering the tests for a long time now. She actually did mine too. When she manually entered your test, she put her neck on the line for you…to protect you, someone she didn't even know at the time. Do you think she might be willing to help us?"

"She's pretty scared with what happened to her brother," Tris says. "But if she knew what was about to happen, I doubt she could just sit back and accept it."

Her brother, George. I didn't know him, he died before I transferred, and we were too far apart in age for me to remember him in Erudite. But I do know what happened to him.

"You'd have to be the one to talk to her, or Four could, but it can't be me. She won't trust me."

"Because of Amar?" Tris asks.

"How do you know about Amar?"

"Four told me. He blames you for his death," she responds simply.

I push down the jealousy that threatens to rise in me at the reminder of how close they seem to be.

She chose you, Eric.

I sigh. "That's fair."

There's no point in denying it, she already knows about my past.

"I'll talk to Four about it. When we get back from Abnegation, we'll try to get her on board."

I look down at her and nod. She turns her attention back to tracing my tattoo.

"I know we have bigger things to deal with and it's probably silly to be worrying about this, but do you think I'll pass the final test?" Tris asks.

"You've made it this far, haven't you? You've worked your ass off and you're one of the topped ranked initiates. I'll be honest, I haven't watched your latest data, but I'm sure as long as you think like Dauntless…and I know you can…you'll be just fine. You're amazing and you deserve to be here."

I feel her nod against my chest in response. "I hope so," she says.

The room is silent for a moment before Tris speaks again.

"Eric?"

"Uh-huh?"

"You're not at all who people think you are," she says quietly.

"People think what I want them to think."

"You want people to think you're a heartless, cocky, ass?"

I laugh beneath her.

"Yup."

"Why?" she asks, shaking her head against me.

"I realized a long time ago, that's it's the easiest way to be respected while avoiding having anyone want to get to know me."

She shifts to look up at me.

"Doesn't that get lonely? Not letting anyone in?"

I pause for a moment, contemplating my response. "No."

"No?"

"No. Besides, it doesn't mean I don't let anyone in. It just means I get to be very selective about who I let get to know me."

"Oh," she says, eyebrows creasing.

I use the arm that's underneath her to pull her up towards me, aligning our faces. I lean forward and press my lips against hers, my free hand resting on her waist. God, it feels good to be able to kiss her whenever I want.

I pull away and smile at her.

"Selective," I say, looking her in the eye.

"Oh!" she replies, smiling wide at the realization that she is included in the few I've chosen to let get to know me.

She lifts her hand from its current position on my chest and rests it on my cheek, brushing her fingertips across the dermals above my eyebrow. Looking down at my neck, her hand moves, her fingers now outlining my leadership tattoos.

"Did these hurt?"

"Like a bitch."

I watch as her eyes travel across them, examining the tattoos before she leans forward and gently starts peppering kisses over them.

I close my eyes at the feeling of her feather light kisses against my throat and my mouth goes dry. She moves to the row of shapes down the other side of my neck, and I sigh subconsciously.

She stops her ministrations abruptly and looks at me. Her eyes widen and her cheeks begin to flush. "Sorry," she says, clearly embarrassed by her boldness.

"Don't be," I reply, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. I notice her biting her bottom lip and my mind begins to wander. I shake my head, pushing the thoughts away and smile at her. "We should probably try to sleep."

She nods in response.

"Goodnight, Tris," I say before kissing her one more time.

"Good night, Eric."

It takes a while but eventually sleep over takes us.

The next morning, I am awoken by the graceful sounds of Tris rummaging around my kitchen.

"Crap," she whispers after a loud noise rings out from a frying pan banging into the stove.

I check the time on my tablet, 10:45am. I can't remember the last time I slept passed 7:00am. I rub the sleep from my eyes before getting out of bed and walking towards her.

Another loud noise erupts from the kitchen as I approach.

"Damnit," she says, no longer attempting to whisper.

"Trying to wake up the entire complex?" I ask her jokingly.

She jumps and spins around to face me. "You almost gave me a heart attack!" she scolds.

"Me? You're the one who woke me up with all the clanging!" I refute.

Her face falls. "Sorry, I was trying to surprise you. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's fine. I needed to get up anyways. So, what are you making me?"

She shrugs.

"I don't really know how to make anything exciting. Breakfast at Abnegation was usually just a rotation of eggs and toast, oatmeal, and cereal. I was going to go with eggs and toast."

"How far have you gotten?" I ask.

She looks back at the carton of eggs and empty frying pan next to the stove.

"I've barely started," she says sheepishly.

"While I appreciate you trying to surprise me," I say kindly, "since I'm up now, why don't I teach you how to make banana, chocolate chip, pancakes?"

Her eyes brighten immediately, and her mouth turns upward into a wide grin. "Really?"

I chuckle at her giddy expression. "Really."

"That sounds way better. God, how did I live so many years without chocolate? I always assumed everyone just ate boring eggs and toast for breakfast, but you people were over here using your frying pans to make cake for breakfast."

I laugh. "They're pancakes Tris, it's not the same as cake."

She quirks her eyebrow at me and gives me a pointed look. "They're mini vanilla cakes that you put chocolate chips in and then pour sugary syrup over."

"Okay fine," I concede. "They're basically flat cake."

"Ha!"

"So do you want to make some or just keep debating cake vs. pancakes?"

She smiles, "How do we start?"

"Oh my god, these are so good," she says for the fifth time since we sat down to eat.

I roll my eyes and laugh.

"You've said that already."

"I know, but they are! Where did you learn to make these?"

"My mom taught me when I was little and then when I got older, I'd make them for us every Saturday morning," I say, smiling sadly at the memory.

"Do you ever see your mom? I mean, you go to Erudite sometimes for meetings, right?"

There aren't many people at Dauntless who know about my mom. Amar was the one who told me during initiation and a couple of the other transfers overheard, but I haven't talked to anyone about it since that day.

"She passed away shortly after I transferred. The last time I saw her was the day of the choosing ceremony."

Tris tilts her head and looks at me sympathetically. "I'm so sorry, Eric, I didn't realize."

"It's okay, she hadn't really been my mom for a long time before it happened anyways."

She looks at me curiously before reaching across the table and taking my hand in hers.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"We don't need to talk about this," I say. "You should just go back to enjoying your pancakes."

She shakes her head. "No, she was a part of your life. I want to know. Unless you don't want to talk about it. That's okay too."

Do I want to talk about it?

I take a deep breath. "My mom…she struggled," I say. "She had depression and by the time I was in my early teens she was pretty reliant on alcohol and drugs to help her make it through the day. After I left, I don't know if it was on purpose or by accident but, she overdosed. By the time someone found her, she was long gone."

My eyes water slightly, the emotion triggered by talking about my mom catching me off guard.

Tris looks down at her plate and I can tell she is contemplating what to say. Instead of speaking, she stands up and walks towards me, leaning over the back of my chair and wrapping her arms around me.

"I'm so, so sorry," she whispers in my ear.

I lift her hand to my mouth and kiss it.

"Thank you," I reply simply.

Without another word, Tris returns to her seat and cuts into another pancake. I blink a few times and the tears disappear.

I take a minute to watch Tris devour her pancake. I can't help but smile at her pure delight.

"As much as I'm enjoying watching you, enjoying your pancakes, we'll have to finish up quickly. We're both expected at the final sims in less than an hour."

"Okay," she says, shoving the entire rest of the pancake into her mouth.

I snort and shake my head.

"You are ridiculous, Initiate."

She grins and continues to chew.

As we get ready, I can't help but notice a change in the atmosphere. The stress of what today will bring weighing heavy in the air. The playfulness of our easy morning is long gone.

I meet Tris at the door as she finishes buckling her boots.

"You ready?" I ask, pulling my arm through the sleeve of my jacket.

She stands and takes a deep breath. Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she looks nervous as she nods in response.

"You've got this. You'll be fine," I say, rubbing her arms up and down lightly. She doesn't look convinced.

"You can do this," I say earnestly, looking her directly in the eye. "I'll be right there, just outside the room. Everything will be fine."

"Okay."

I lean down and press my lips lightly against hers. She takes me by surprised by wrapping her arms around my neck and deepening the kiss. We stumble backwards together, her back now pressed against the door. We continue to kiss, Tris setting the pace. When we break apart, I keep my forehead pressed against hers.

"I can do this," she says.

"You can do this."

I feel her nod against my forehead.

"Time to go."

I open the door and look down both sides of the hallway. Finding it empty, I motion for Tris to follow me out. The door latches behind us and we take a few steps hand in hand before I reluctantly let go of her and purposely fall back. She looks towards me confused and I motion for her to continue on. After giving me a small smile, she turns away and picks up her pace.

Tris is the last initiate to complete her fear landscape. As I have with everyone else, I stand from my chair and collect the simulation serum.

"Tris," I call out and she makes her way towards me from the back of the room.

She looks worried and I want to reassure her but there are too many people watching us. The best I can do is a half-smile as she approaches.

I lift the syringe to her neck, breaking through her skin and pushing the plunger down.

"Ready?" I ask.

She lets out a deep breath and moves passed me, entering the fear landscape room.

Her first fear is a familiar one. The birds.

Powerlessness.

Unlike the first time, this time Tris uses her gun to quickly dispose of them.

Her next fear begins. She is back in the tank. The fear I monitored. The fear that confirmed her Divergence to me.

Weakness.

My heart begins to race as I watch her try to break through the glass with her bare hands. She continues fighting against the tank to no avail. After entirely too long, she takes the time to compose herself and finally manages to break the glass.

She falls into a large body of water. The water is rough. She scrambles to cling to a nearby rock but struggles to keep hold of its wet surface. Wave after wave slams against her body.

Loss of control.

She continues to struggle against the rock, letting out a frustrated scream. Counting down the rhythm of the water, she manages to climb up onto the rock and instantly sprints away from the ocean.

The ocean disappears and Tris is bound to a pole. Stacks of logs rise around her feet and she is high above the ground. The other initiates appear carrying torches and Peter approaches her, igniting the wood below her.

Burning alive.

The flames rise.

"Smell that, Stiff?" Peter says loudly.

"No," she replies, the flames getting higher.

Peter sniffs the air. "That's the smell of your burning flesh."

Tris stays calm, stilling herself against her restraints.

"I smell rain," she says, smirking at Peter.

I can't help but smile as rain starts to pour down, putting out the fire.

The ropes fall away, and Tris stands in a plain bedroom. One of the walls is covered in mirrors. A scarred man and two featureless men appear outside of her window. She backs up, pressing her back against the wall of mirrors. The scarred man begins to pound his fist against the window. His lone fist is quickly joined by more. Over and over again the men slam their fists against the glass. The three men begin to walk slowly towards her.

Kidnapping.

My fists clench and my face grows hot as I recall the events of that night with Peter, Drew and Al at the chasm.

She reaches behind her back, into the mirror that has transformed into a closet door and pulls out a gun. She fires at the men, and an awful, loud scratching noise erupts from the window. Bent fingers scratch the glass and then the glass shatters.

Pale bodies – human bodies, but mangled, arms bent at odd angles, too-wide mouths with needle teeth, empty eye sockets – topple into the room, one after another.

Tris retreats into the mirror closet and crouches down, pointing her gun to her head. She stays still, audibly trying to steady her breath. She turns to face the back of the closet and finds another door. She pushes it open and reveals a hallway. She crawls through the door, and the hallway vanishes, replaced by…my apartment?

I see myself in her sim, standing before her. We are in my bedroom, standing a few feet from my bed.

What is going on?

Sim me smiles down at her before he presses his mouth to hers. I watch as his fingers find the zipper of her jacket and pull it down in one slow swipe until it detaches. He tugs the jacket from her shoulders.

His hands slide down her arms and then squeeze her hips, his fingers brushing over the skin just above her belt.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat at what feels like a very private moment.

She pushes him back and presses her hands to her forehead. He moves back towards her, kissing her neck.

She looks Simulation me in the eye and says sternly, "I am not going to sleep with you in a hallucination. Okay?"

Intimacy.

Outside of her Sim, my heart races and panic bubbles up in my chest. All of Dauntless leadership are watching this. Tris being afraid of me would be easy to dismiss. But this is different, this is intimate and it's taking place in my apartment. They'll know she's been there. They'll know something is going on.

In her sim, she grabs my shoulders and turns us around, my calves hit the edge of the bed. She presses against me and kisses me, her hands wrapping around my arms.

I disappear

A gun appears in her hand, and she curls her fingers around it, slipping her index finger over the trigger. A spotlight shines from the ceiling and standing in the center of it is her mother. Next to her mom is an older gentlemen dressed in grey and a boy about her age. These must be her father and brother.

"Do it," Jeanine's voice rings out.

Tris stays still.

"Do it," she says again, pushing a gun to Tris' temple. "Do it or I'll kill you."

Being responsible for the death of loved ones.

"Go ahead, Tris," her brother says. "I understand, it's okay."

"No," she croaks back, shaking her head.

"Tris," her dad says. "You have no other option."

"Eight."

"Tris," her mother smiles. "We love you."

"Seven!"

"Shut up!" Tris shouts, holding up the gun.

"Six!"

"Five!"

She closes her eyes.

"Four! Three!"

"Two!"

She releases the trigger and lets her gun drop before turning and pressing her forehead to the barrel of Jeanine's gun.

"One!"

There's a bang and the simulation ends.

The lights come up in the fear landscape room and I disconnect myself from the wires linking me to the simulation. The rest of leaders do the same and I don't dare look at them. Along with Four, we walk together into the simulation room where Tris stands.

I push my nervousness from her fear of intimacy sim down and try to act casual.

"Congratulations, Tris," I say. "You have successfully completed your final evaluation."

She gives me a half-hearted smile but looks shaken.

"Thanks," she says.

"The banquet is in two hours. Your ranking among the other initiates, Dauntless-born included, will be announced then. Good luck."

I want to stay and talk to her, tell her she did great and not to worry, but the other leaders turn towards the exit, and I know I need to go with them.

As I leave the room, I notice Four lingers. I know I shouldn't feel jealous, but I do.

The leaders take a quick break before meeting in the conference room to discuss the final evaluations. To my surprise, no one comments on my appearance in Tris' fear.

Once the rankings are determined, the majority of the leaders leave to prepare for the banquet but, noticing Max is slow to gather his things, I stay behind.

When only Max and I are left, I speak.

"You said the serum would be administered today. When is that happening?"

"Already done," he says with a smile.

"What? When?" I ask blinking, struggling to cover the fear that immediately threatens to take over my senses.

"Infirmary staff have been administering it to the members throughout the day, and we were able to mix it into the simulation serum for the initiates, so technically you administered those," he replies clapping me on the back.

I stand frozen, not sure how to react outwardly to this news as anxiety sets in internally.

"Actually, that reminds me, I need to double check to make sure everyone who was supposed to receive it has," Max says picking up his tablet.

I watch as he scrolls through an application on his tablet. "Hmmmm…looks like only two members were missed, Kendra and Four. I guess I'll have to go deal with that before the banquet," he says scowling.

"I can do it," I say, a little too quickly. Maybe I can keep Four from being dosed. "I don't really need to do anything to get ready for the banquet."

"You sure? That would be great man," he says, looking relieved. "I'll send you over the key codes to log into the database. You should be able to access it from your leadership tablet. You'll have to bring Kendra and Four to the infirmary since the last of the serums should be there. Once they've been administered, make sure to tick off their names and have the nurse who administers it input their member ID and the code on the serum into the database. I took the liberty of inputting your info for the initiates. We need to keep track just in case something goes wrong with one of the batches."

With that, Max walks to the door. Before leaving, he turns back towards me, smirking.

"The girl, Tris," he starts. "She's the one, isn't she? The one you came to me about. The one who was attacked a few days ago."

Shit. He's going to bring up her simulation.

"Yeah, she is."

"I knew something was going on between you two," he says cockily. "I guess not quite as much as I thought considering that fear of hers, but still, nothing wrong with a challenge. Good luck with that."

His words should anger me, but the realization that Tris has been injected with the serum…and that I was the one to inject it…has made me numb to them. I need to find Four now and figure out how to fake giving him the serum.

Chapter Text

After collecting my tablet from my office, I make my way through the compound towards the Pit in hopes of locating Four. When I arrive, I am hit by the delicious aroma of the banquet feast as well as the noise of the ever-growing crowd. I push myself through the throngs of already half-drunk Dauntless in search of him.

My eyes find Kendra first, drink in hand standing on a nearby platform with a small group of people. I decide to leave her there for the time being and continue scanning the crowd for Four. Making a three sixty turn in the middle of the crowd, I finally spot him.

Our eyes meet and I motion for him to come to me. He narrows his eyes and scowls. He looks even more irritated by my presence than usual but walks towards me none the less.

"What do you want, Eric?" he bites.

What's crawled up his ass?

"Max brought it to my attention that you haven't received your tracking serum yet. I'll need you to come with me to the infirmary."

He looks at me with what appears to be curiosity, but we both know that with the crowd and the cameras we aren't at liberty to speak candidly.

"I'll go after the banquet," he replies, turning away from me and making to leave.

I grab his forearm to keep him in place. "That's not a choice you get to make. We're going now. We just have to grab Kendra first, she seems to have missed getting hers too."

I turn and walk towards where I had spotted Kendra, she is now laughing boisterously, what looks to be a fresh drink in hand.

I pinch the bridge of my nose in irritation, I do not feel like dealing with a drunk right now. When I have almost reached her, I glance back to make sure Four is in tow. His wears a sour expression but reluctantly shuffles behind me.

"Kendra," I say loudly over the noise of the crowd. "I need you to come with me, now."

She turns to look at me and her friends go quiet.

"So demanding, I like it!" she says flirtatiously, her body swaying slightly. She reaches her index finger towards me and runs it down my chest. "What exactly is it you need from me, Eric?"

Her friends noticeably tense at her actions, and I hear Four snort next to me. I roll my eyes before grabbing her wrist and pulling her hand away from my body.

"You need to get your injection. We're going to the infirmary."

Still holding her wrist, I pull her down off the platform and drag her towards the exit. Four follows.

After what feels like an eternity of brushing off Kendra's advances, and Four doing absolutely nothing to help, the glass doors of the infirmary appear.

"Thank God," I say aloud.

I barge through the doors and point at the nurse standing by the nurses’ station.

"You, go get the last of the serums. These two haven't gotten theirs yet," I practically growl at her, my irritation with the whole situation putting me in a foul mood.

Thankfully, she complies immediately with my request and unlocks a nearby cabinet. Pulling a small box from the shelf inside, she walks over to us, opening the box to reveal two syringes. She picks up one of them and I reach for the other.

"What are you doing?" she asks, looking slightly alarmed by my actions.

"You do her, and I'll do him," I say, pointing at Kendra then Four.

"That won't be necessary," she replies. "I can administer both."

I narrow my eyes at her.

"I've already administered over a dozen of these today. I can handle one more. Just get it over with so we can all get back to the celebration," I say icily, ignoring the look Four gives me at my words.

She nods gingerly and turns towards Kendra who is giggling to herself.

I raise the syringe up towards the back of Fours neck, pressing the tip of the needle against him while being careful not to break the skin. When I am sure that the nurse is distracted with Kendra, I push the plunger down quickly and allow the serum to run down the back of his neck, the fabric of his jacket easily disguising the liquid. As I pull the needle away, he brings his hand up and wipes off what's left on his skin.

With the serums administered, I swipe open my tablet and bring up the database. Scrolling down to the bottom of the members list, I find Kendra and Fours names. I pass my tablet to the nurse and watch carefully as she inputs the necessary information next to Kendra's name. I do the same for Four then he and I turn to leave.

"What about her?" The nurse calls after me.

I turn around to find Kendra crawling onto one of the infirmary beds.

"Let her sleep it off," I snort.

As we walk back to the Pit, I can tell that Four wants to say something to me but as was our journey to the infirmary the journey back is monitored by several cameras.

When we get back, the Pit is even more packed than before. All of the leaders have now arrived and are standing together. Every part of me screams to go find Tris and tell her about her being injected, but I'd have to take her somewhere private, and I don't have time for that now. Parting from Four, I make my way over to Max.

"Care to do the honors?" he says, handing me a microphone.

I take the microphone from him and make my way over to some nearby tables. Hopping onto one, I tap the head of the microphone to attract the attention of the crowd. I spot Tris and her friends near the middle of the crowd. They quiet their conversation and turn to face me.

"We aren't big on speeches here. Eloquence is for Erudite" I say, making the crowd laugh. "So I'm going to keep this short. It's a new year, and we have a new pack of initiates. And a slightly smaller pack of new members. We offer them our congratulations."

At the word "congratulations" the room erupts, not into applause but into the pounding of fists on tabletops.

"We believe in bravery. We believe in taking action. We believe in freedom from fear and in acquiring the skills to force the bad out of our world so that the good can prosper and thrive. If you also believe in those things, we welcome you."

I truly believe in everything I've said, and I hope that most of Dauntless does too. I just wish that the rest of Dauntless leadership believed the same because if they did they never would have agreed to be a part of Jeanine's ridiculous scheme.

"Tomorrow, in their first acts as members, our top ten initiates will choose their professions, in order of how they are ranked," I say. "The rankings, I know, are what everyone is really waiting for. They are determined by a combination of three scores – the first, from the combat stage of training; the second, from the fear simulation stage; and the third, from the final examination, the fear landscape. The rankings will appear on the screen behind me."

As I finish my words, the names appear on the large screen. Next to the number one is a picture of Tris alongside her name. I knew what her ranking was before now, of course, but an overwhelming sense of pride rises in my chest regardless.

Tris

Uriah

Lynn

Marlene

Peter

Will

Christina

Gabe

Craft

Brielle

I watch Tris as she catches sight of her ranking and a slow smile spreads across her face. She looks over at me and our eyes lock, looking back at her, I don't even try to hide my grin. She deserves this. I am proud of her, and, in this moment, I don't care who knows.

All around, her friends embrace, congratulating each other excited but naïve to what the future holds. I know I need to talk to her as soon as possible, but right now, she deserves to celebrate with her friends. I'll wait until after the feast.

By the time the food is being cleared, the majority of the crowd is as inebriated as Kendra was a few hours ago. With the leadership meeting taking place tonight, I abstain from any alcohol. I need to be at my best.

I look over the crowd in the dining hall, it's a little sparser than earlier but, the majority of the compound's inhabitants are still milling about. If there's one thing the Dauntless know how to do right, its party.

"Eric," Max's voice breaks through my thoughts. I look up realizing he is standing next to me. "Meeting in twenty."

Shit. I need to talk to Tris right now.

"I'll be there," I reply as he walks away.

I stand from my spot at the leadership table and make my way directly over to Tris and her friends. I don't have time for subtleties.

Her back is to me, but her friends cease their chatter as I approach.

"Congratulations initiates," I say to all of them. Tris turns her head and looks up at me.

"Thanks," Christina replies apprehensively.

"Stiff, I need you to come with me," I say sternly to Tris, gently placing my hand on her lower back to emphasize my urgency. "Now."

"Okay," she replies, a barely veiled look of concern adorning her features.

I look up at Christina who is now glaring at me. "Do you want me to come with you?" she says to Tris while not taking her eyes off of me.

"I'll be fine," Tris says, smiling back at her.

I keep my hand on Tris' back as I lead her out of the room, down the hall and to a nearby corridor.

"What's going on, Eric?" she asks nervously.

I lift my index finger, signaling for her to hold off on her line of questioning.

When we are far enough down the quiet corridor, I stop and back her up against the wall. I place one hand on her hip and raise the other up next to her head, leaning in towards her.

Bringing my mouth down next to her ear, I whisper, "There's not enough time for us to go somewhere more private, so I'm going to have to tell you here. If anyone sees us, in person or over the cameras, they'll just think we are drunk and wanting some privacy."

I run my hand over her hip gently before returning it up to her waist. I feel her shiver under my touch.

"Okay," she breaths in my ear, playing along by raising her arms and clasping her hands behind my neck.

"After the final examination, I asked Max when he was planning to administer Jeanine's serum, and he told me that it was already done. Apparently, the infirmary spent the day administering it to the members."

"What about the initiates? They haven't given it to us yet," she whispers back.

"That's the thing, Max said that they figured out a way to combine it with the fear simulation serum. Which means I actually administered it to you unknowingly right before you went under."

She gasps audibly in my ear, and I can tell that she is about to express her outrage. I kiss down the side of her neck, simultaneously putting on a show for the cameras and, distracting her from her outburst.

"What about Four?" she squeaks. I smile, realizing just how affected she is by my actions.

"Aside from the stick up his ass, he'll be fine. We managed to fake his injection."

"Thank God. Stick up his ass?"

"I don't know what is up with him, but he seems crustier than usual," I reply, taking a second to kiss her briefly on the lips…for the cameras…

"Oh," she says.

"Oh?"

"His mood might be my fault," she starts as I suck her earlobe into my mouth causing her breath to hitch. I should probably just let her speak, but her reactions are making this too hard for me to stop. "After the examination, he stayed behind. We hadn't actually talked about the kiss we shared, and he wanted to know where we stood."

"Ah," I say, releasing her ear. "How did that go?"

"Not great. I told him I wasn't interested in being more than friends with him and he asked if it was because of you. I told him regardless of what's going on with you, I only see him as a friend, but he didn't seem to believe me. He just kept trying to convince me that you would break my heart and that him and I make more sense."

The anger that bubbles up in me is surprisingly minimal. I wouldn't have expected any less from him and had I been the one on his side of that conversation I likely would have reacted the same.

"Then right before he left, he looked at me and he just seemed…sad…and that's when he told me he…"

"Eric!" Max's voice rings out loudly from the end of the corridor. Shit. "Meeting, now!"

"I have to go," I say to Tris with urgency. "Go find Four. Leave for Abnegation as soon as possible. I'll see you when you get back."

"Okay," she says, shaking her head in agreement.

Max already suspects us and with the position we are currently standing in there's no denying it now. Throwing caution to the wind, I lean in and kiss her. While many of our kisses so far have been slow and gentle, this kiss is not. It's rough and desperate, like we are trying to commit each other to memory…almost like we are saying goodbye, but not just for tonight. My stomach drops at the thought of never seeing Tris again and the kiss turns even more desperate.

"Eric!" Max bellows.

I had nearly forgotten he was there.

"Be safe," I say before jogging over to Max who has already started walking towards the leadership wing. I sneak one last look at Tris before turning a corner.

After a minute of silence, Max speaks, "Damn Eric, I never thought I'd live to see the day."

"What do you mean? What day?" I ask, confused.

"The day Eric Coulter would fall for someone and a stiff no less."

My first instinct is to lie, to deny it, but I can't bring myself to do it. He's already seen too much to believe me, and Tris deserves better than him thinking she's just some kind of conquest.

"The number one ranked Dauntless initiate," I counter.

He laughs. "Fair enough. She must be some kind of special for you to have taken notice."

He has no idea.

He looks over at me, his eyes searching my face as though looking for a reaction. "Just don't let her distract you from duties. Our mission is worth more than some girl, no matter how special you think she is.

When we arrive at the conference room, I scan the crowd. There has to be about twenty-five of us in total. Surprisingly, two of the Dauntless leaders are actually missing which leaves us with seven leaders (myself and Max included) and nearly twenty Dauntless members.

I look over the crowd once more and am not surprised by the members in this room. The majority of them are the cruelest among us: those who lean towards the more violent and disciplinary traits found in Dauntless, those who have been the most vocal about their distain towards Abnegation, and those who have always let their feelings of Dauntless superiority be known. Amid them is Peter. My blood pressure instantly rises at the sight of him.

These are the people Max is trusting? These are the people Max is choosing to align himself with?

"Listen up!" Max shouts over the chatter. "You all know why you are here. Everyone in this room holds the same values and understands what needs to be done in order to provide Dauntless with the best possible future. I won't go over the plan again, you have all been briefed individually."

I was under the impression that this meeting was to go over the plan with everyone. Clearly, I was wrong, but if everyone here already knows what's going on, why are we here?

"Today, all of our members were injected with the new serum that Erudite has supplied us. At 0330, we will activate the serum and initiate the program. According to our timeline, by 0500 our soldiers will arrive at Abnegation to put our plan into action."

Holy Fuck! This can't be happening. We need more time. Tris and Four…who knows where they will be at that time. Still at Abnegation? On their way back? What will happen to Tris when the serum is activated?

The panic I feel at his words is overwhelming. I clench my fists by my sides, digging my nails into my palms in hopes that the small amount of pain will distract me. I breathe, too quickly, in through my nose and out through my mouth. The breaths come out louder than I intend and I worry someone will notice me.

Most of the crowd cheers, but I notice a few among them stand silently. Khloe, one of the younger Dauntless leaders, looks about as panicked as I feel. An ally?

Our eyes meet and I look at her curiously. She seems terrified: eyes wide, jaw clenched and hands shaking slightly by her sides. There's no way she is on board with this. Trying to align with her while not being 100% sure of her intentions is risky, but my options are limited and one ally in this room is better than none.

I glance around the room making sure no one is paying attention to us. When I am sure no one is watching me, I look back at Khloe.

Calm down, I mouth.

Her brows furrow in response, confusion evident on her face.

Just breathe, I continue.

She breaks eye contact and looks around. No one notices her.

What? She mouths back, returning her attention to me.

Breath, it'll be okay, I mouth just as Max starts talking again.

"Dauntless," he says, addressing us all. "The time has come. Our government is broken, and change is needed. As Dauntless we recognize that it is up to us to demand the change we want to see."

His audience nods their heads in agreement, a few grunt affirmatively while others outright cheer.

"It is up to us to make the hard choice because in making that choice, we are doing what is best for our people. Together, we will rise up against Abnegation, take control of our government and secure a future of wealth, comfort and prosperity not only for those of us in this room, but for our entire faction."

"It won't be easy, and it won't be without casualties, but we are Dauntless, we are brave, we are warriors. Together, we can succeed, and we will succeed. So, look around, because the next time you are in this room, our faction will be forever changed. Our city will be forever changed."

More cheers are let out. I have to admit, he's pretty convincing. If I didn't know any better, I could see how someone could fall for this speech.

"Leaders, come see me for your assignments. Everyone else, go see Ayla for yours," he finishes.

Khloe meets my eye again as we make our way over to Max.

"Eric and Sam, go down to the armory. There, you will find multiple crates. In five of them, you will find guns, enough for each member who will be awoken by the simulation. In the others, you will find holsters and belts. Bring the crates to training room C; the members will set them up on the tables once they are fully briefed. Khloe and Maliah, go to training room C now and set up the tables from the storage area. Once that's done, the four of you head to the garage and make sure the trucks are fully equipped. There should be a few crates already there with everything you'll need. Understood?"

We nod our heads in unison before turning to leave.

"Finally," Sam says. "It was killing me not knowing when we would finally go through with this."

"I definitely wasn't expecting it to be tonight," I say earnestly.

"Me neither," Khloe agrees.

Maliah shrugs, "It's about time those freaks at Abnegation get what they deserve."

Khloe and I exchange a look while Sam nods at Maliah in agreement.

We come to the end of the corridor, and the girls turn to the right, towards the training room.

"See you soon," Sam calls after them as we turn left, towards the armory.

The crates are heavy, and it takes two of us to carry each of them to the training room. After what feels like a hundred trips filled with Sam's lack of coordination and incessant chatter, all of the equipment is successfully relocated.

The girls finish setting up the tables moments before we get the last crate into the room. Together, we make our way towards the garage.

The walk is quiet aside from our footsteps and I can't help but wonder where Sam's energy has gone to. I wonder if he starting to rethink the plan? Maybe it's dawning on him how horrendous and idiotic it truly is.

My question is quickly answered as he sprints over to a nearby garbage can and proceeds to vomit.

Ah, so not becoming a better person then. Just moving from drunk to hungover. His actions make me grateful that I abstained from drinking at the banquet.

When we arrive at the garage, Max is already there, talking to someone on his com device. He nods at us in greeting before walking towards a more secluded area of the garage. I scan the room in search of the crates and find them located in the back corner.

"Over there," I say to my companions, nodding in the direction of the crates.

We decided to open all of the crates at once, figuring it will be easier to distribute the materials evenly knowing what exactly lies within them.

"Maliah and Sam, why don't you take trucks one through four and Khloe and I will take care of five through eight. Whoever is finished first can start work on the medical truck," I suggest, hoping to have a few minutes alone with Khloe.

Sam runs to a garbage can in response and Maliah rolls her eyes and sighs.

"I think you and I will probably have to take care of the medical truck," Khloe says to me, smirking in Sam's direction.

"That's fine," I reply, turning to Maliah. "Just do what you can, and Khloe and I will help you finished once we get through ours."

She lets out a huff but nods in agreement before walking over to the crate filled with semi-automatic rifles. Khloe heads for the pistols and I move towards the revolvers. Sam has yet to return from the garbage can.

I shake my head. I need to get Khloe alone, but without Sam the distribution of work makes no sense.

"Change of plans, I think we'll have to discount Sam from helping…the three of us will do all the trucks together. We'll each take a type of weapon and equip all the trucks. I'll take the rifles, Maliah the pistols, Khloe the revolvers. When that's done, pick a truck, make sure the coms are working, the gas tanks are full, and each truck is stocked with the items from the food and water crates. We don't know how long this mission will take, better safe than sorry."

Despite the fact that I'm the youngest among us, no one seems to mind that I've appointed myself defacto leader as the girls nod in agreement.

With the amount of supplies allotted for each vehicle, it takes us a while to complete our task. All the while, Sam spends his time laying, moaning and groaning on the concrete floor next to the crates. I noticed Maliah kick him in the side a few times throughout the process to which he mutters 'bitch' under his breath. Eventually, I suggest that he drags his ass to the infirmary and ask them for an IV drip to cure his hangover before it's time to move out. He complies, but not before vomiting one more time for good measure.

With the trucks ready, I go in search of Max for further instructions.

"Eric! Just the man I wanted to see," he greets me.

"Trucks are ready to roll out. What's next?" I ask, nervous for his response.

"The serum has been activated. Our soldiers are currently arming themselves and heading to the trains. I want you and the others to meet them there and make sure they all get on the trains. Send two of the leaders along with them and then grab a truck and meet me at Abnegation. I'll be heading there shortly with the rest of the leaders and the members."

This is it. The serum has been activated. The attack is underway. The window to prevent it has passed and my only hope now is that Four and Tris were able to convince the leaders of Abnegation of its impending arrival.

But, even if they have, none of us were expecting the attack to transpire this soon…regardless of whether or not they believe the attack is coming I doubt they were able to form a strategy quickly enough to protect their faction from the trained, brainwashed soldiers that are about to ascend on them.

"I'll go get the others," I say in response to Max.

We arrive at the train platform shortly after the last of the soldiers. They are silent, still. Lined up in equal rows, dressed in similar fashion, weapons holstered across their backs. We stand at the back of the pack, watching them curiously.

Is this what Tris has been reduced to? Is she somewhere in Abnegation, blank eyed and stiff, waiting for backup to arrive before she strikes? I imagine Four is with her, shaking her, yelling at her, trying to break her from her trance. I shudder at the thought. Tris' mind is who she is, take that away and what would be left?

Sam and Maliah walk forward, turning to face a couple of the soldiers. A smirk spreads across Sam's face as he picks up his pistol and pokes the motionless man in the temple. His head sways slightly before returning to its original position, stark straight, eyes front. Sam laughs and looks over at Maliah.

"What do you think would happen if I shot this one?" she asks cruelly, an evil glint in her eyes, pistol aimed at the soldier's forehead. "Would she even try to stop me?"

I look over at Khloe whose fists are shaking next to her thighs, her jaw clenching and unclenching as she breaths heavily.

"That's enough," I shout at the two heartless leaders. "These are our people, and they deserve our respect. Now make sure they get on the train and stay there. Khloe and I will meet you at Abnegation. Come on Khloe."

I turn to leave, trusting that the two idiots can do their jobs without supervision, Khloe follows.

With all of the soldiers waiting to board the train, and all of the remaining members and leaders already on their way to Abnegation, the compound is eerily quiet as Khloe, and I make our way back towards the garage.

Once there, I jump into the driver's seat, Khloe into the passenger's seat. I start up the vehicle and back out of the garage without a word. As I drive, I notice Khloe giving me side glances. I want to discuss the attack with her candidly, but the coms devices in all of the trucks are connected and whatever I say could be heard by others. When we are halfway to Abnegation, I pull the truck over.

"What are you doing?" Khloe says, looking alarmed.

I bring my index finger to my lips, requesting that she be quiet as I turn off the truck, effectively cutting off the power. I reach behind the screen in the middle of the truck, locate the connection and pull the wires from their home.

"This attack is fucking mental and shouldn't be happening," I say to Khloe, no time to sugar coat it. "Max and Jeanine are insane and I am not okay with genocide in order to overthrow the government."

Her eyes grow wide and her mouth parts but no words come out.

"Thoughts?"

Please don't let me have misread her signals. Please.

"I…I…" she stutters. "I couldn't agree more."

Chapter Text

"What are we going to do?" Khloe asks expectantly.

I wish I had an answer for her.

I shake my head.

"I don't know. I only just found out all the horrible details and, while I do have a couple of people I've been trying to work things out with, we haven't had enough time to figure out a plan."

Khloe swallows and nods her head.

"Well..." she starts, before looking out the window and turning quiet. "It's a simulation..." she adds trailing off.

"Yeah," I reply, wondering where she is going with this. "…and?"

"I guess we could...turn it off?" she offers weakly, looking back towards me.

I sigh. "That would be the short-term solution, but we'd need someone who could do it. Is that something you're capable of?"

This time, it's her turn to sigh. "Unfortunately, not...could you?"

"No, and even if I could, the only thing I know for sure is that its being run from Dauntless. I don't know by who and I don't know if it's being guarded and if it is being guarded, by how many?"

"So there's nothing we can do?"

"I didn't say that. There is one person I know who might be able to stop the simulation but it's not going to be easy. First, we have to find him and then we'll need some backup in case we run into guards. It's not a great plan and there's no guarantee we'll make it out alive. Plus, even if we do manage to shut it down, it'll only put a stop to this insanity temporarily. I'm sure Jeanine and Max will regroup and keep trying until they manage their goal."

"It's better than nothing, I guess."

"It's risky but, if we can stop at least some of our members from becoming murderers and prevent Abnegation from being wiped out entirely, I think it's worth it and it could buy us some time to figure out how to bring down Jeanine."

"So who is it? Who do we have to find?"

I can't help but be weary of outing Four to Khloe. It's one thing to put myself at risk by trusting her, it's another to put Four and potentially Tris at risk.

"Tobias Eaton," I reply, banking on the fact that she won't know that they are one in the same.

She stares at me, blinking silently for a moment.

"Marcus Eaton's son? The kid he abused? He's who you think will be able to stop the simulation?" She seems apprehensive as I nod in response. "Part of Jeanine's plan involves killing his dad. After what the papers say Marcus did to him, you'd think he'd want to kill Marcus himself."

"It would be way too selfish of him to let this happen just to get rid of his dad. Tobias might not be perfect, but he wouldn't risk this many people's lives for his own means. If he even wants his dad to die because we really don't know if he does."

"I would," Khloe says pointedly raising her eyebrows.

"So would I," I reply. "But we didn't grow up Abnegation."

She nods her head in understanding.

"...I'm trusting you here Eric...doing this...it'll make us faction traitors...so I have to ask...how much do you trust this Tobias person?"

That's a good question.

If she had asked me a few months ago I'd have told her I didn't trust him as far as I could throw him, but things have changed. I'm trusting him to take care of Tris, aren't I? And if I'm trusting him with Tris, I guess I trust him more than most people.

"I trust him with my life."

I say the words, but I don't believe them, at least not entirely. It doesn't matter though because I don't have to believe them, I just need Khloe to.

She squints a bit, seemingly examining my face. Satisfied with whatever she sees, she leans back in her seat.

"Okay, let's go find the Eaton boy."

I nod and quickly turn the engine back on.

Upon our arrival, we are met with an unnerving sight. The buildings around us are dark and empty and the roads are packed with Dauntless "soldiers". They march in unison except the officers, those Dauntless members that were tapped on the shoulder to join the cause outside of the simulation, who are gathered in clusters.

I hear gunshots in the distance; they grow louder and sharper as Khloe and I walk further into town. I see a soldier pushing an Abnegation council member to his knees. The soldier takes her gun out of its holster and, with sightless eyes, fires a bullet into the back of the council member's skull. I look away but not before recognizing the sightless soldier as Tori.

My stomach drops as I realized that the window for seeking out allies has closed.

We continue walking and I keep my eyes pealed for Four and Tris amidst the sea of Dauntless soldiers mindlessly carrying out orders. Has Tris already been turned into a murderer? Or is she simply blank faced and unresponsive, marching through the town somewhere?

I am broken from my thoughts as Sam comes jogging up to us.

"There you are," he says, slightly out of breath. "I've been looking for you everywhere. Max needs you. They've caught some Divergent rebels. Follow me, I'll take you."

Divergent rebels...oh God, Tris. They can't have figured her out...can they? But how could they have identified her, or any Divergent, if everyone is under a simulation?

"Lead the way," I say calmly.

Khloe trails behind as Sam brings us to Abnegation headquarters. We walk past two guards, through a door and into a plain office that contains just a desk, a computer and two empty chairs. Jeanine sits behind the desk with Max standing by her side. To the left of them, two guards restrain an angry looking Four as he struggles against them looking ready to attack something across the room. I follow his gaze only to find Tris being held at gunpoint by Dauntless officers.

What the fuck is going on? Four may not be acting like himself, but he's also not acting like the emotionless soldiers outside.

Tris and I lock eyes, and my heart begins to pound at the danger of the situation.

"Eric," Max says loudly, loud enough that I can tell he's repeating himself.

I break my gaze on Tris and turn towards him.

It is Jeanine who speaks. "Eric, we need you to escort Tobias back to Dauntless. Bring him to the control room. We'll need a sentient being there to monitor things and, as I understand it, he used to work there."

I feel Khloe's attention turn to me at the sound of Four's birth name but don't look at her. I can only imagine what is running through her mind as my dislike, to put it mildly, of Four is public knowledge.

I blink. "I was told I was needed because of Divergent rebels..."

Jeanine sighs before speaking once more. "Yes, Tobias here was found wandering around with his little girlfriend over there. Apparently, the original serum didn't work on them which can only mean one thing, they are Divergent. I'm testing out a different serum on this one," she says pointing at Four. "This simulation manipulates him by altering what he sees - making him confuse enemy for friend. The advantage of this version is that he can act independently and is therefore more effective than a mindless soldier."

Tris not reacting to the original serum makes sense because of her divergence...but Four was never injected...so is he truly Divergent or just assumed to be? In Jeanine and Max's eyes he is Divergent. I wonder what will become of him after he is done in the control room.

I try not to think about how fucked we are by the fact that the only person who could possibly have shut down the sim is now working for the other side and focus my attention on Tris.

"And this one?" I say, trying to look disgusted as to conceal my true feelings.

"She is too injured to be of any use to me. She will be brought to room B13 and subsequently executed. Perhaps Sam can accompany her, along with the officers. Oh, and Eric, you and I will need to have a conversation about your observation skills later."

My heart stops at the word executed and while I should probably be concerned by Jeanine's obvious disappointment in my failure to identify Tris as Divergent, I am too distracted by the blood that has pooled at Tris' feet.

The instinct to go to her is strong and it takes everything I have to stay in place.

I grit my teeth and turn my attention back to Jeanine.

"Why don't I take Tris to room B13 and Khloe and Sam can escort Four back to Dauntless? You've given me a job to do, and I won't be able to start if I'm stuck going back."

"That's a good point Eric—" Jeanine starts but is interrupted by Max.

"No, Sam will take Tris. You and Khloe take Four. It won't take you long. We are still working on rounding up the members of Abnegation. There will be plenty of time for your mission when you get back."

Jeanine looks at him curiously but doesn't say anything.

I know why Max is doing this, he knows about my relationship with Tris, and he doesn't trust me to walk her to her execution. I wouldn't trust me either.

I want to argue with him, but he hasn't outted me to Jeanine yet which means on some level he's trying to protect me. God knows if Jeanine found out she'd probably force me to execute Tris myself right here.

"Take him and go now, Eric," Max says sternly.

I risk one last glance at Tris before grabbing Four by the front of his shirt and throwing him towards the door.

I need to get out of this which means trusting Khloe with more information than I feel comfortable sharing. My heart continues to beat rapidly as I try not to think about what Jeanine could possibly have in store for Tris.

Khloe and Max follow me out and Khloe rises her gun to Four's head.

"That's not necessary," Max tells her. "He thinks he's on our side."

"If you think I'm going to trust this Divergent for a single second, sim or no sim, you've got another thing coming," she responds.

Her words surprise me. Does she mean them? We didn't discuss her stance on Divergents. She could easily hate them while still being against this war.

Her reaction to Four being one—although he might not actually be one—makes me even more weary of what I'm about to tell her.

"Fine, just make sure he gets to the control room in one piece."

Khloe nods and nudges Four with her gun, signaling for him to walk and they begin to move forward.

My mind is racing. I have to get to Tris.

"Eric," Max says from behind me. "A word."

Fuck.

I turn to look at him.

"I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume your feelings blinded you to what she is. Jeanine doesn't have to know about any of it, it can stay between us. But you've got to let it go. One girl, a Divergent rebel no less, isn't worth risking everything that you've worked towards. Understand?"

I nod my head in agreement.

"I need to hear you say it, Eric."

I take a deep breath. "If you don't think I'm already disgusted enough with myself for ever putting my hands on that freak, you're wrong," I spit, hoping my acting skills are good enough to throw him off.

"Glad to hear it," he says, looking satisfied with my response. "Now go catch up to Khloe."

I nod and watch him head back toward the headquarters before turning and jogging towards Khloe and Four.

It doesn't take long to catch up to Khloe.

I need to find Tris right now. If I can get to her fast enough, I might be able to stop whatever Jeanine has in store for her.

"I'm going to need you to bring him without me," I say.

Khloe stops in front of me and Four follows suit.

"And after that 'Tobias' bomb that got dropped in there I'm going to need you to be straight with me because right now I'm positive that you don't trust me and I'm sure as shit questioning whether or not I can trust you," she replies.

I take a deep breath and scratch the back of my neck. There's no getting around it. I have to be honest with her.

"Okay, what do you need from me in order to trust me?"

It's a little vague, but hopefully it'll allow Khloe to get the answers she's looking for while not giving her any more information than absolutely necessary.

She rolls her eyes and sighs, obviously not happy with that response, but speaks anyways.

"First of all, since when are you and Four buddy, buddy?"

"It's complicated."

"That's not good enough, Eric."

I don't have time for this.

"Okay, fine. We're not…not really. We're just on the same side when it comes to this government overthrow bullshit, okay? So…we have like a…truce…for now anyways."

She tilts her head as if contemplating whether or not that answer is good enough.

"Alright, if Four is the one you think can shut this all down then why don't you want to come with us to Dauntless?"

"I have something else I need to do first."

She stares at me, lips pursed, clearly unimpressed. "If this is how you're going to be—"

"Okay fine. I need to go find Tris. I can't let them kill her."

It pains me to bring Tris into this, but I need Khloe to cover for me.

"The Divergent initiate who looked half dead in there?" she asks, scrunching up her face.

Like I need to be reminded of how hurt she looked.

Khloe's face brightens suddenly, her eyes growing wide.

"Is she the one who almost had sex with you in her fear landscape?" she says, smirking.

It's my turn to roll my eyes.

"She is! Wow. I mean objectively speaking, you are attractive and she's a sixteen-year-old girl from Abnegation who— I assumed after seeing that—was a virgin with a thing for 'bad boys' or maybe authority figures? I donno, but anyways I never would have thought it was mutual."

"Well…it is," I say, grudgingly. "Now will you take him so I can go after her?"

She crosses her arms, still smiling. "How did that happen? I mean it's common knowledge that you're kind of a dick. A dick with more of a soul than I expected, but still. How do you, broody, grumpy, loner boy fall for a girl like that?"

Okay, I'm done with this shit.

"I don't have time for this. She could already be dead for how long this conversation is lasting."

Khloe sighs and uncrosses her arms. "Fine. Go save your girl. I'll take this one. But tell me this first, what is your plan after you find her?"

I hadn't really thought farther ahead than keeping Tris alive.

"We'll meet you at Dauntless, okay? Maybe between the three of us we can snap him out of it, and he can figure out how to shut down the simulation."

"You're really going to trust two Divergents to stop this war?" she says apprehensively.

"Their divergence has nothing to do with anything. I trust them and they're on our side. That's all that matters."

She looks skeptical but nods her head. "Alright, but if this works, I still have questions."

"Fine. When this is all over, I'll answer anything, okay?"

She nods.

"So…we're good? You'll take him?"

"Yeah. Go."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks Khloe." I turn and start to jog back towards Abnegation headquarters.

"Eric!" I hear her yell from behind me.

I turn back but continue to jog backwards, trying not to lose anymore time.

"KEYS!"

Right. I pull the keys out of my pocket and chuck them through the air before immediately turning back around not caring whether or not she's managed to catch them.

I slow my steps slightly as I get closer to the headquarters. I can't go back in the same way.

I head down the side of the building in search of an alternate entry point. Spotting a door, I make my way through it and find myself in a narrow stairwell.

B13? B…13?

If the floors are alphabetical that would mean I should go up to the second floor, but if they're numerical than B could mean the basement…

I don't want to waste time by choosing wrong but nothing in this stairwell is helping me.

Aggggh!

I run up the flight of stairs and quietly make my way through the door only to come face to face with two Dauntless officers who look at me curiously.

Be cool, they have no idea why you are here.

I quickly peer past them and see a small placard that reads 201 next to a door.

Fuck.

"As you were," I say turning tail and gunning it back down the stairs all the way to the basement.

I gently push through the double doors expecting to find another set of guards, instead, I nearly trip over the fallen bodies of a pair of Dauntless soldiers. I recognize them from the halls of Dauntless, but their names escape me.

What the fuck? But who...?

I shake my head, and I look up at the door in front of me: B1.

I let out a frustrated groan and turn left running as quietly as I can while scanning each door quicky: B3, B5, B7.

Come on! Come on!

I come to another set of double doors and slow my pace, bracing myself for what might be on the other side.

This time, the guards are alive and standing alert. They turn towards me just as a gunshot rings out and the officer to my left falls. Before I can register what happened, another shot wizzes through the air, and the second officer goes down.

I look up from his body and there in front of me is Natalie Prior, gun in hand, barrel firmly pointed in my direction. Her free arm is tightly wrapped around a soaking wet, bruised, and bloodied Tris.

"Tris!" I exclaim, relief running through my body.

Her eyes light up and she gives me a weak smile before raising a hand and gently pressing down on her mom's gun so its now pointed towards the floor.

"He's with me," she says quietly. I make my way over to them and take over supporting Tris.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't stop them," I tell her.

"There's nothing you could have done. We were outnumbered. They would have killed you."

"What did they do to you?" I say, scanning her over.

"I'll be fine. Where's Four?"

"There will be time for this later," Natalie says urgently. "Tris, your father, Marcus and some others are hiding in a basement at the intersection of North and Fairfield. We have to go get them. Follow me."

Instead of going the way that I came, she leads us down a few dark hallways, up a dank staircase, and into daylight without interference.

"How did you find me?" Tris asks her mom as we reach the surface, emerging into an alley.

"When you and Tobias left the house this morning to go find Alice, and your father went to find Marcus I couldn't just sit at the house waiting for you to return," she replies, glancing over her shoulder towards us. "My intention was to go to the reserves and start gathering up rations for those we would be hiding, but then the soldiers started to arrive. I was closer to Marcus', so I found your father and once we had devised a plan, they went to hide, and I came looking for you."

She stops where the alley intersects with the road and reloads her weapon.

I move ahead slightly and tentatively look around the corner. A few Dauntless soldiers with guns move to the same beat towards us.

Tris looks back. Far behind us, another group of Dauntless run down the alley, towards us, moving in time with one another.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"If these were Dauntless officers, I might be able to convince them that I'm bringing the two of you to join the rows of Abnegation set for execution…or that I am returning you to Max and Jeanine…but these are mindless soldiers following programming. They won't listen to me," I say, trying not to panic.

I rub my temples, willing an idea to come to me.

Natalie gives me a small smile before turning towards Tris and grabbing both of her hands.

"Go with Eric. Find your father. The alley on the right, down to the basement. Knock twice, then three times, then six times."

Here eyes flit to me for a second before her attention returns to Tris.

Cupping Tris' cheeks, she speaks. "I'm going to distract them. You two have to run as fast as you can."

"No," Tris and I say at the same time.

"I'm not going anywhere," Tris adds.

Natalie smiles at Tris. "Be brave, Beatrice. I love you."

Letting go of Tris, she reaches towards me and squeezes my hand tightly.

"Take care of each other," she says.

Before I have a chance to react, she runs into the middle of the street, holding her gun above her head and fires her rifle into the air three times. The Dauntless start running.

I pull Tris' hand into mine and we sprint across the street into the alley. As we run, I look over my shoulder to see if any Dauntless follow us. Natalie fires into the crowd of guards, and they are too focused on her to notice us.

As the guards begin to fire back, Tris whips her head over her shoulder then suddenly comes to a stop. My steps falter at the abrupt change in pace and I follow Tris' gaze. Together, we watch as her mother falls, first to her knees, blood covering her abdomen, and then to the pavement, slumped to the side like a rag doll.

She is motionless and without breath.

I hear a muffled scream and turn to find Tris with her hand clamped over her mouth, tears streaming down her cheeks.

My heart breaks at the sight of her. Losing your mom is a horrible thing to live through, I know firsthand, but to watch her be murdered…I can't even imagine.

I pull Tris lightly against me, trying not to cause her any further pain by pressing on her wounds, and she buries her face in my chest.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper into her ear.

She gasps for air through her tears, and I wish I could hold her forever, but the Dauntless soldiers are on the move, and we have to keep going.

I pull away gently and she looks up at me through sad, tear-soaked eyes.

"We have to keep going," I say.

She looks back towards the road at the soldiers that are now on their way towards us and nods.

We turn together and start running.

Chapter Text

Three Dauntless soldiers pursue us.  They run in unison, their footsteps echoing in the alley. One of them fires and I duck as Tris dives.  The bullet hits the brick wall to our right, and pieces of brick spray everywhere.  Tris throws herself around the corner and I follow suit.

“We aren’t going to be able to outrun their bullets,” I say. “I know these are our people, but we’re going to have to fight back if we want to make it out of this alive.”

She nods her head and clicks a bullet into the chamber of her gun as I pull out my own.

I dart out into the alley, quickly aiming and firing at two of the Dauntless soldiers. I try not to dwell on the fact that I know them. Kendra is one and the other a man many years my senior who works in the dining hall. My bullets hit their targets, and they fall. The third picks up speed.

Will.

Dull-eyed and mindless but still Will.

Will who I helped train. 

Will who has barely had a chance to be a member of my faction.

My pause gives him time to raise his gun but before he has time to pull the trigger, a bullet flies passed me and hits him in the head.

When I turn around, Tris is stumbling away from the alley.

I blink. Tris killed Will.

Simulation or not, this war will turn us all into murderers one way or another.

Tris picks up speed and I follow. 

We stop a few yards from the building that Natalie directed us to, and I jump slightly as a scream rings out next to me.

I clamp my hand over Tris’ mouth and look around to check that no one is nearby.  She continues to scream into my hand until her scream turns into a sob.

My heart once again breaks for her, and I can’t help but feel angry. 

They did this.

They attacked her home. They took her mother away. They turned her into a murderer.  My anger multiplies and I’m surprised my teeth haven’t shattered from the force at which my jaw is clenched. 

They will pay.

I take a deep breath and try to steady myself.  Tris needs me.

“Tris,” I start sympathetically.

She stops immediately at the sound of my voice, almost as though, despite my hand on her mouth, she had forgotten I am here. 

She blinks and suddenly all emotion disappears from her face.  Her eyes go blank and her mouth slack.  If I didn’t know any better, I would think she was under the simulation.

A vision of the Tris that left my apartment less than 24 hours ago flits through my mind.  The Tris who was nervous about passing her final test.  The Tris who didn’t know murder, who didn’t know death or loss in this way. 

Something about her face right now tells me that, that Tris is gone.

My heart sinks.

Before I can say anything, she walks past me.

Tris pounds on the door – twice, then three times, then six times as her mother told her to.

“Tris…” I start to say as she wipes the tears from her eyes. There’s so much I want to say to her, but I don’t know where to start. The door in front of us swings open before I have a chance to get my thoughts together.

A tall, gangly boy with dark hair and green eyes, around Tris’ age stands before us. He stares at Tris for a few seconds and then throws his arms around her.

Caleb. I vaguely recognize him from Tris’ fear landscape.

Tris groans loudly at the contact and the boy yanks back.

“Beatrice. Oh God, are you shot?”

“Let’s go inside Caleb,” Tris says weakly.

Caleb doesn’t budge, instead he looks briefly in my direction and then back at Tris.

“He can’t come in,” he says firmly to Tris.

“She needs help man, just let us in,” I reply impatiently, putting my arm around Tris’ waist as she starts to sway unsteadily.

“We can’t trust him Tris,” he says, ignoring me.

 “Caleb,” I say exasperated. “We can’t stay out here.  It won’t be long before the wrong people see us and either way your sister is close to passing out.  Let us in before I make you let us in.”

Threatening someone who already doesn’t trust me is probably not the smartest way to go, but I can’t care about that now, I need to get Tris to safety.

“Eric,” Tris says softly, placing the palm of her hand on my chest. “Let me handle this.”

She straightens herself out and steps forward, gently putting her hands on Caleb’s upper arms.

“Do you trust me?” she says to him.

“Of course I trust you, Beatrice. It’s him I don’t trust.  He’s a Dauntless leader and I’ve seen him at Erudite…with Jeanine,” he whispers the last part, as though that would stop me from hearing him.

“He’s not like the rest of them Caleb,” Tris replies.

“You’re right.  He is the worst of them,” Caleb counters.

I let out a loud sigh and scratch at the back of my neck in frustration.

Tris lets go of Caleb and takes a step back shaking her head. “There’s not enough time for me to list all of the reasons why I trust him and why you should too.  I’m going to need you to either trust me and let us in or we’re leaving.”

“No,” I say firmly. “We’re not leaving. I will physically move him out of our way if I have to.  You need help and there’s a room full of Abnegation behind that door.  I’m sure at least one of them will be compelled to help you no matter what.”

“Eric...” Tris starts, but I ignore her.

“What’s it going to be Prior? Are you going to move out of our way or are we doing this the hard way?” I say threateningly, glaring at him.

He takes a deep breath and glares back at me before looking over his sister and sighing.  Turning around, he walks back through the door, leaving it open for us to follow.

I close the door behind us.

The room is dimly lit, but I can see a number of people, dressed in grey, huddled together.  They all turn to look at us as we enter. 

I recognize a few of the council members, Tris’ father and Four’s father are among them.

Marcus and Andrew stare at me.  I ignore their looks and hope they aren’t about to throw me out. 

“Beatrice,” Marcus speaks. “Where is my son? Where is Tobias.”

Four. I had almost forgotten about him.

He and Khloe must have made it halfway to Dauntless by now. At least they’re both safe while alone in the truck…as long as Four’s programming doesn’t cause him to turn on her.

Tris looks to me to respond.

“He’s safe,” I reply vaguely. “At least for now.”

I figure it’s best to leave out the part about him being under a simulation and on his way to do the enemy’s dirty work. Luckily Caleb starts talking before Marcus has a chance to ask anymore questions.

“How did you know about this place?” Caleb says. “Did mom find you?”

Tris nods.

“My shoulder,” she says.

I look over at her as she nearly falls to her knees next to me, catching her just in time, I pull her against my side.

A woman in long grey robes rolls out a pallet. Someone else brings a lamp over so we have light.  Caleb produces a first-aid kit, and a teenage girl hands Tris a bottle of water.

The speed at which everyone comes together to help Tris takes me by surprise.  Aside from council meetings, I haven’t spent much time among the Abnegation.  I know they are meant to be selfless, but I’ve always been told it’s just for show.  With the articles Jeanine released I became more and more wary of their true nature.  But the way in which they are helping Tris makes me question my preconceived notions.

Tris’ dad walks over to us and supports Tris from the other side. Together, we help her across the room.

“Why are you wet?” Caleb says to Tris.

“They tried to drown me,” she replies. “Why are you here?”

Tried to drown her? Leave it to Jeanine to use one of Tris’ own worst fears against her. The anger I felt earlier returns.

Caleb looks at me wearily as though scared to answer Tris’ question.

“Caleb,” she says softly. “Anything you can say to me you can say to him.  I promise.”

Caleb, his dad and Marcus all look over at me.

“I’m on your side,” I say to them simply.

“Why should we believe you?” The question comes from Andrew. “You’ve made it very clear at all the council meetings where your loyalties lie. How are we supposed to believe that all of a sudden you give care what happens to us…to Abnegation?”

“Dad,” Tris starts.

“It’s okay Tris,” I say before looking Andrew in the eye. “I wouldn’t trust me either if I were you.”

“Then how do you expect us to speak freely in your presence?”

I could start listing all the reasons they can trust me.  I could go into detail about all the things I’ve learnt recently, and I could explain how I feel about Jeanine and Max and this war, but we don’t have time for that.

Instead, I take a deep breath and say, “I’m in love with your daughter.”

Andrew blinks and looks back and forth between Tris and me.

Tris’ eyes dart towards me and I break my gaze on Andrew to focus on her.

“I love you Tris,” I say, this time directly to her.

I’ve never said those words to anyone aside from my mother.  The vulnerability I feel in this moment is unmatched and a giant knot takes up residence in my stomach as I wait for her to react.

At first, she just stares at me seemingly in shock.  Then, she lifts her arm slowly, brings her hand to my cheek and a wide smile breaks out across her face.

“I love you too, Eric.”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and lean in towards her. I want to pour everything I’m feeling right now into kissing her but remembering we are surrounded by her Abnegation family I stop myself and softly kiss her forehead instead.

When I pull away, everyone’s eyes are on us. Most of them wear a look of surprise while the young girl who gave Tris the water looks amazed. 

Caleb, on the other hand, looks as though he’s about to try to fight me.

Tris and I both look over at Andrew. His lips are pursed, and he doesn’t look impressed, but he turns to Caleb and says, “Answer her question son.”

Caleb stares at his father for a moment before complying.

“I did what you said—what Mom said.  I researched the simulation serum and found out that Jeanine was working to develop long-range transmitters for the serum so its signal could stretch farther, which led me to information about Erudite and Dauntless. I came here when I figured out what was happening. I would have warned you, warned everyone, but it was too late,” he says.

“When did you get here?”

“I left Erudite this morning, thinking I could get here in time to find mom and dad, but the Dauntless were already arriving.  I was trying to find somewhere to hide when I ran into Susan,” he looks over at the young Abnegation girl. “She brought me here. Anyways, I guess I am factionless now.”

“No, you aren’t,” Andrew says sternly. “You’re with us.”

There is a moment of silence before Andrew continues. “Now Tris, lets get you fixed up.”

Tris kneels on the pallet and Caleb cuts a piece of her shirt away from her shoulder with a pair of medical scissors, revealing her Abnegation tattoo as well as the three birds on her collarbone.

Tris lays down on her stomach and I hold her hand.  Her father gets the antiseptic from the first aid kit.

“Have you ever taken a bullet out of someone before?” Tris asks, a shaky laughter in her voice.

“The things I know how to do might surprise you,” Andrew replies. “This will hurt.”

As Andrew inserts a knife into Tris’ wound, she lets out a scream and crushes my hand in hers.  I lean down and kiss the tears that are running from the corner of her eyes, trying to distract her.

“Got it,” Andrew says suddenly, dropping the bullet on the floor with a ding. He starts cleaning off the wound with a wet cloth before adding, “stitching time.”

Tris stays quiet as her father stitches up her wound, ties it off with thread, and covers the stiches with a bandage.

When he is finished, Caleb and I help Tris sit up.

I look at Tris’ ripped shirt and it reminds me of the night I found her hanging from the chasm. I shudder at the memory but wish I had a hoodie to offer her now.

Caleb, who is wearing more than one layer, pulls off one of his shirts and offers it to Tris. I help her navigate her arm through the sleeve and pull it over her head then nod gratefully at Caleb.

“So,” her father says quietly. “Where is your mother?”

Tris looks down at the ground and stays silent.

“She’s gone,” I say to him. “She saved us.”

Caleb closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

Mr. Prior looks momentarily stricken and then recovers himself.  His eyes glisten as he nods his head.

“That is good,” he says, sounding strained. “A good death.”

At Dauntless, we call suicide brave. I think we do it so that we don’t have to think about what lead to someone taking their own life. So, we don’t have to feel guilty for not seeing the signs. But death by suicide is not brave, sacrificing yourself for someone else the way Natalie did for Tris…for me…that is bravery.

Tris starts to stand up and Andrew and I both reach to help her.

Marcus speaks. “We are only safe here for so long,” he says. “We need to get out of the city. Our best option is to go to the Amity compound in the hope that they’ll take us in. Do you know anything about the Dauntless strategy? Will they stop fighting at night?”

He looks to me, but Tris is the one who responds. “It’s not Dauntless strategy,” she says. “This whole thing is masterminded by the Erudite. And it’s not like they are giving orders.”

“Not giving orders,” Andrew says. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Tris continues, “ninety percent of the Dauntless are sleepwalking right now.  They’re in a simulation and they don’t know what they are doing.  The only reason I’m not just like them is that…”

She hesitates.  It’s smart of her not to say the word.  Maybe if it was only her family in this room it would be safe.  But with this many members of Abnegation, and Marcus no less, it’s better not to share.

“I was able to fake her injection,” I jump in. “I changed her information in the system to make it look like she had received it. It was the only way to save her from their mind control.”

“Mind control? So, they don’t know that they’re killing people right now?” Tris’ father asks, his eyes wide.

“No.”

“That’s…awful.” Marcus shakes his head. His sympathetic tone sounds fake to me. “Waking up and realizing what you’ve done…”

The room goes quiet.

“And what about you?” Caleb says, addressing me directly for the first time since our arrival. “Did you change your information too? Is that why you aren’t being controlled?”

He already knows the answer, but for some reason he needs my confirmation.

“I was never going to be injected. They trust me. They think I’m on their side.”

“So what? You’re playing double agent?”

“I guess.”

“And how do we know you aren’t actually playing double agent for their side?”

“Caleb, we already went over this,” Tris says.

“But why should we believe him.  He could be playing us. Playing you.”

“But what purpose would that serve? It’s not like I have any useful information. I didn’t even know about the attack until Eric told me.”

“I don’t know. But I don’t trust him.”

“You’ve made that abundantly clear Caleb,” Andrew cuts in. “But we can’t keep arguing about this.  I trust your sister, and she trusts him.  He claims he loves her and I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt.  It’s been a year since you and your sister left Abnegation.  We don’t know what she’s been through or what brought them together, but here they are. Now we must move on from this if we are going to get everyone to safety.”

Caleb glares at me before looking at his father. “Fine. What do we do?”

“We have to wake them up,” Tris says.

At least her and I are on the same page.

“What?” Marcus says.

“If we wake the Dauntless up, they will probably revolt when they realize what’s going on,” Tris says. “The Erudite won’t have an army. The Abnegation will stop dying. This will be over.”

“It won’t be that simple,” Andrew says. “Even without the Dauntless helping them, the Erudite will find another way.”

“You’re right.  Even if we wake them up, it will only stop them temporarily.  But hopefully it can buy us enough time to come up with another plan,” I say.

He nods.

“And how are we supposed to wake them up?” Marcus says.

“We go to the computers that control the simulation.  We shut down the program and destroy the data,” I reply. “We have allies on their way there now.”

Tris turns and looks at me curiously. “We do?”

“We do,” I reply firmly.

“Easier said than done,” Caleb says. “It could be anywhere. We can’t just appear at the Erudite compound and start poking around.”

“It’s not at Erudite.  It’s at Dauntless. It’s being run from the control room where we monitor the city.”

“Four…” Tris whispers, eyes wide as the pieces fall together for her. I nod at her in return.

“Are you sure?”  Andrew asks.

“Before we came, Jeanine sent one of our members back to the compound to monitor the program.”

“Then we will have to decide who goes and who continues on to Amity,” he says. “What help do you need?”

“Anyone who can fire a gun,” Tris responds, “and who isn’t afraid of heights.”

Erudite and Dauntless forces are focused on the Abnegation sector of the city, so if we run away from Abnegation, it’s doubtful that anyone will bother us until we’ve reached our destination.

Tris and I didn't decide who was coming with us. Caleb volunteered himself, I think he feels guilty for knowing some of Erudite’s plan and not being able to do anything to stop it. Marcus insisted that he go, despite Tris’ protests, because he is good with computers. Neither of us brought up the fact that his son is already tasked with the computer work even if Four isn’t currently himself. And Andrew acted like his place was assumed from the beginning, most likely to try to keep the rest of his family safe.

Our group watches as the rest of the Abnegation members run in the opposite direction—toward amity—for a few seconds, and then we turn away, toward the city, toward the war. We stand next to the railroad tracks.

“What time is it?” Tris asks.

Caleb checks his watch before responding. “Ten twelve.”

“Should be here any second,” I say.

“Will it stop?” Caleb asks.

Tris shakes her head. “It goes slowly through the city. We’ll run next to the car for a few feet and then climb inside.”

The headlights of the train burn gold against the buildings behind us and suddenly the train is gliding by. Tris and I immediately start jogging. When I see an open car, I pick up my pace to keep stride with it and grab the handle on my left swinging myself inside. I turn to face Tris with my arm outstretched but she grins and shakes her head before ignoring my arm and pulling herself inside. 

I grin back at her, and she surprises me by standing on her toes and kissing me hard. The kiss is brief, but it brings me back to our last kiss and how oddly final it had felt. Has it really been less than 24 hours since we first split up?

“I’ve been wanting to do that for hours,” she says.

“Same,” I reply. “I guess we should make sure everyone else gets on the train.”

Caleb jumps next, landing hard on his side.  Caleb and I help Marcus and Andrew manages but lands on his stomach and has to pull his legs in behind him.

They move away from the doorway and walk towards the solid wall of the front of the car.  I stay near the edge and Tris stands next to me.

“Do you have any idea what we are walking into?” Tris whispers wearily next to me, the noise from the wind masking her words from our companions.

“You mean jumping into?” I respond playfully in a weak attempt to lighten the mood.

She gives me a small smile in response.

I sigh. “Honestly, no. I don’t. I wasn’t meant to be back at Dauntless so soon and I didn’t think to ask.”

“Do you think this is stupid? Do you think…is this a suicide mission?”

The likelihood of all of us getting out of this alive is low. Extremely low. We both know that.

“Do we have any other options?”

Tris sighs and shakes her head. “Do you think Four is okay?”

“As long as he’s under the simulation and this war is still going on I don’t think we have to worry about him. What we need to worry about is how we’re going to get him out of the simulation because I don’t trust that Marcus can shut this thing down no matter what he says.”

She stands silently but I can tell from her expression that her mind is racing.

“Jeanine said this simulation makes him confuse enemy with friend, right?”

I nod.

“I wonder…which do you think you would fall under? I mean, I know you guys are technically on the same side right now but to everyone else, to Jeanine, you are Four’s enemy…”

She makes a good point. When he looks at me, does he see me, Eric? Or does he simply see Dauntless Leadership?

“Because if, in the simulation, he sees you as an ally then…maybe you could order him to shut down the program?”

It’s an interesting idea.

“It’s a longshot…” I say, apprehensively. “But he didn’t try to attack me when I was with Khloe before they left for Dauntless. Maybe it’s possible?”

Her face brightens slightly before quickly returning to its worried state.

“I know you left Four with her to come and get me and I’m so grateful, but do you think he’s safe with her?”

Her concern for him shouldn’t bother me. I know he’s her friend and he’s integral to our plan but knowing that’s why she is asking doesn’t negate my feelings of jealousy.

I open my mouth to tell her he’s safe, that Khloe is on our side, but a voice from the other end of the train car interrupts me. 

“I assume you now regret choosing Dauntless,” Marcus says loudly.

The train passes by the Erudite compound and Tris and I both turn to face him.

I presume the question is directed at Tris as Marcus has no reason to think I’m a transfer.

Tris shakes her head.

“Not even after your faction’s leaders decided to join in a plot to overthrow the government?” Marcus spits, turning his gaze on me.

I step towards him, but Tris puts her arm out in front of me, and I stop.

“As you already know, not all of my leaders feel the same way about this plot,” she replies, her voice harsh. “But regardless of that, there are some things I needed to learn.”

“How to be brave?” Andrew says quietly, stepping out from behind Marcus.

“How to be selfless,” she responds. “Often they’re the same thing.”

“Is that why you got Abnegation’s symbol tattooed on your shoulder?” Caleb asks.

Tris smiles. “And Dauntless on the other.”

We all sit silently on the floor of the train car as our destination grows nearer.

Andrew’s words from earlier play over in my mind.

Even without the Dauntless helping them, the Erudite will find another way.

He gives more credit to the Dauntless than I think is deserved.

I love my faction, and I agree that many of our members will turn against our leaders once they find out what has been done to them but, if that last meeting is any indication, I am sure there are members who will side with Max.  Even those who oppose him may choose to stay because walking away means becoming faction traitors and subsequently factionless.

Once this is done, once the simulation is stopped, what do we do next? How will we stop the second wave, whatever it may be? Will we be considered public enemy number one?

They will assume Tris and Four are involved and, when I disappear with them, Max will figure out my involvement quickly. Will they come after us?

My thoughts are interrupted by the reflection of the glass building above the Pit glowing in the train. Tris and I stand in unison.

“When I tell you to jump,” Tris says, “you jump, as far as you can.”

“Jump?” Caleb asks. “We’re seven stories up!”

“Onto a roof.” Tris says.  The men across from her look stunned. I can’t help but smirk.

“Dad, you go.” She says, stepping back so he can stand by the edge.

The train tracks curve, and when they line up with the edge of the roof, Tris shouts, “Jump!”

Without hesitation, Andrew bends his knees and launches himself forward.  I shove Marcus forward and Tris shouts, “Jump!”

As I watch Andrew narrowly manage the jump, Tris pushes Caleb in front of her. He stands at the edge of the train car and jumps without instruction.

Tris and I take a few steps back and look at each other briefly before both running and leaping out of the car just as the train reaches the end of the roof.

We make the jump quite easily, but Tris immediately sits down and grips her shoulder. I almost forgot she had been shot.

I kneel in front of her. “Are you okay?”

She looks past me, ignoring my question.  I turn to see what she is looking at and watch as Caleb and Andrew hoist Marcus up and over the edge of the building.

“Should have just let him drop,” I mutter under my breath as I help Tris to her feet.

She tilts her head and looks at me curiously before nodding in agreement. For a split second, her reaction surprises me, but I quickly remember we share that side of us. The side that finds pleasure in people getting what they deserve, no matter how violently the justice is served.

“This next part is why I asked about fear of heights,” Tris says, walking to the edge of the roof. As I follow her, I hear the shuffling of footsteps behind me.

Tris steps onto the ledge and I fight the urge to pull her down and tell her that I want to jump first.  That I want to be at the bottom to help her when she lands. This day has shown me that Tris can take care of herself.  Even through grief, she has stood up to the men in her family, stood up to Marcus the leader of her former faction, come up with our route into the Dauntless compound and has had no reservations about giving our party orders. Her actions fill me with a sense of pride. So, I keep my mouth shut and let her take charge.

She would do well in leadership...if our leaders hadn’t turned out to be corrupt.

Tris stares down the hole in the ground then looks over her shoulder.

“There’s a net at the bottom,” she says.

The Abnegation look confused—they haven’t figured out what she is asking of them.

“Don’t think,” she adds. “Just jump.”

And with that, Tris turns, leans back and lets herself fall into the hole.

My stomach drops at the abruptness of her fall even though I know she is perfectly fine.

I take Tris’ place on the ledge and turn towards my terrified looking companions.

“Who’s next?” I ask.

Surprisingly, it’s Caleb who steps forward. He’s practically shaking, and my instinct is to yell at him to get on with it, but I remember that he didn’t choose this.  He never claimed to be brave. He didn’t ask to take this test.

I put out my hand to help him onto the ledge and, despite the glare he gives me, he accepts it.   

“How many times have you done this?” he asks me, looking down the hole.

“Only once,” I answer honestly. “And it sucked. But I lived through it and so will you.”

He nods his head, takes a deep breath and leaps into the air.

Before I can turn around, Andrew is next to me on the ledge. When we are sure Caleb is out of harms way, Andrew jumps without a word.

I turn to Marcus who hasn’t moved.

“Are you waiting for a written invitation?” I ask sarcastically.

Caleb I can sympathize with, but this asshole doesn’t deserve my kindness.

He glares at me silently but doesn’t budge.

“Fine,” I say, before taking a step back and freefalling down that hole.

He can follow me or not, I couldn’t care less.

Chapter Text

As I descend the stairs and stand next to Tris, I hear Marcus hit the net and groan.

I guess he found the balls to jump after all.

The cavern is empty, and the hallways stretch into darkness. Jeanine made it sound like there was no one left in the compound except the soldiers she sent back to guard the computers. I expect we will encounter them quickly as we navigate our way to the control room.

I look over my shoulder. Marcus stands.

"So this is the Dauntless compound," he says.

"Yes, and?" Tris responds.

"And I never thought I would get to see it," he replies, his hand skimming the wall. "No need to be defensive, Beatrice."

Tris turns towards me and rolls her eyes.

"Do you two have a plan?" Andrew asks Tris.

"Yes," she replies, turning towards me. "Can you lead us to the control room?"

I nod in response. "Follow me."

We all walk silently down the hallway that leads to the Pit, which is striped with light every ten feet. When we come across the first patch of light, I raise my hand signaling those behind me to stop.

I scan the room and notice a flash of movement on the far wall across from the entrance to the pit. Tris sees what I see and before I can stop her, she is scaling the edge of the wall, her body slight enough to stay hidden in darkness.

I curse her internally for being so impulsive but remain where I am, trusting that she knows what she is doing.

Within seconds, I hear a scuffle then a male voice shouting in pain. Next, there is a loud clatter followed by the undeniable sound of a bullet entering the chamber of a gun.

I lift my gun and am about to step forward when I hear Tris' voice.

"How are you awake?" she asks.

"The Dauntless leaders," a shaky voice begins, "they evaluated my records and decided I would be more helpful to them uncontrolled by the simulation."

My blood boils. I recognize that voice.

Peter.

"Because they figured out that you already have murderous tendencies and wouldn't mind killing a few hundred people while conscious?" Tris says. "Sounds about right."

I hold back a snort as Peter tries to defend himself.

"I'm not…murderous!"

"I've never met a Candor who was such a liar."

It is obvious that Tris is in control of this situation, so I signal to the men behind me to proceed. I turn to the side and let them pass me.

This is it.

If I walk out there…if Peter sees me…he'll know. He'll be the first member of Dauntless to recognize me as a faction traitor. My cover will be blown, and there will be no going back.

I will be factionless.

My stomach drops at the thought. In the few years that I have been here I have felt more at home than I ever felt at Erudite. My aptitude test might have said Erudite, and at times my mind may still function as one, but there is no denying that I am Dauntless.

Everything I have, everything I've become is because of this place and the people here. To walk away from all of that…for a temporary plan, for a Band-Aid fix to a much bigger problem…

I shake my head in an attempt to clear my thoughts.

Shut up Eric. You've chosen your path, now follow it.

With a deep breath, I step forward to make my presence known.

Tris presses the barrel of her gun into the side of Peter's skull as he speaks.

"You won't shoot me," he says.

"She might not, but I sure as hell will."

My voice alerts him to my presence, and he looks up at me from his place on the ground. For a brief second, he seems relieved, but his brow quickly furrows, and confusion takes over.

"Eric? What the fuck is going on?"

I stand next to Tris and gently push her hand down so her gun is now pointed at the floor. She doesn't need to add another death to her conscious.

"Oh thank God," Peter breaths. But his relief is short lived as I lift my gun in place of hers.

His eyes grow wide. "What are you doing?"

"What I should have done days ago," I practically snarl.

"Eric," Tris says softly, beside me.

I ignore her and load a bullet into the chamber of my gun.

"Eric," she says again, lifting her hand to rest on my forearm.

I hold my gun steady but turn my head to look at her.

"He's not worth it."

Her eyes plead with me, and I reluctantly start to lower my gun.

"Wait a minute…you two? Are you serious?" Peter starts, looking between Tris and me. "I mean…I knew she must have been doing something to beat me; I would have put money on her and Four…but you?" he says, looking directly at me now. "I mean, come on, you could do so much better than this ugly, weak, little Stiff."

He practically spits the last part, and I raise my gun again, fully prepared to shoot, but a shot rings out that isn't mine and suddenly blood is spurting from his arm, and he is screaming in pain.

I look at Tris, gun raised, face hard.

"I am not weak," she says, her eyes glaring daggers into Peter. "You're the weak one and unlike you, I earned my place."

I blink, in shock that she actually shot him.

Andrew walks passed us and crouches down beside Peter.

I had almost forgotten there were others with us.

"Was that really necessary?" he asks Tris while ripping a piece of fabric off his shirt and wrapping it around Peter's wound.

"After everything he's done to your daughter," I reply, "He deserves much worse than a shot to the arm."

No one else speaks as Andrew finishes fastening his makeshift bandage.

"Let's go," I say. "Get up."

"You want him to walk?" Caleb demands. "Are you insane?"

"Did I shoot him in the leg?" Tris retorts. "No. He walks."

"Can't we just leave him?"

"So he can run off and tell the guards we're here? He comes with us."

Caleb helps Peter to his feet.

I lead everyone through the door. We walk into the roar of the river and the blue glow of the Pit. I scan the walls, searching for signs of life, but I see no movement and no figures standing in the darkness. I keep my gun in hand and continue on the path that leads to the glass ceiling.

"What makes you think you have the right to shoot someone?" Andrew says to Tris behind me.

"Now isn't the time for debates about ethics," she replies.

"Now is the perfect time," he says.

They continue to argue, and I can't help but feel a bit envious. Their banter is easy. The type of back and forth that is unique to one thing only.

Family.

"Can we stop fighting?" Caleb interrupts.

I sometimes wish I had grown up in a big, close family. But at the end of the day, when it came to choosing, we would likely have been split apart anyways, so maybe I'm better off.

Before we ascend the metal staircase that will carry us above the glass ceiling I wait in darkness and watch the light cast on the Pit walls by the sun. I watch until the shadow shifts over the sunlit wall and count until the next shadow appears. The guards make their rounds every minute and a half, stand for twenty seconds, and then move on.

Tris and her father begin to argue again, and I ignore them, climbing the stairs carefully and stopping just before my head emerges.

I wait, watching the shadows move, and when one of them stops, I step up, point my gun, and shoot.

One guard down.

I tilt my gun back and fire at the guard running towards me.

Two down.

A bullet whizzes past my head, and I fling my right arm over my shoulder and fire behind me.

Three.

I swivel my head, scanning around me to make sure he is the last.

"All clear!" I yell when I am certain there is no one left.

I pick up the guns of the fallen soldiers and hand one each to the Abnegation men in our party as they emerge from the staircase.

"What about me?" Peter whines, his face slick with sweat, his breath heavy.

"You think I'm going to trust you with a gun?"

I ignore him and start walking towards the elevators on the right side of the room.

"I think you and Marcus should stay here with him," Tris says to Caleb, jerking her head towards Peter. "He'll slow us down. Make sure no one comes after us."

"I can't stay here while you go up and risk your life," says Caleb.

I look over at Peter who sinks to his knees, his injury catching up with him.

Caleb looks over at him too and eventually nods.

Tris and her father join me in front of the elevator, and I press the button for level eight.

Once inside, Tris leans into me, resting her head against my shoulder.

I keep forgetting that she is wounded.

"Thank you. For protecting Caleb," Andrew says to Tris, and she stands up straight to look at him. "Beatrice, I – "

The elevator reaches the eighth floor and the doors open. Two guards stand ready with guns in hand, their faces blank.

Tris drops to the ground, and I raise my gun. I quickly take down one of the guards and am amazed to find Andrew has taken down the other.

Tris stays down but raises her head to look out from the elevator. I hear the synchronized footsteps of guards running down the left hall, the hall that contains the control room, towards us.

"Eric," Andrew says firmly, catching me off guard. "Get down."

I look at him, confused.

"Keep her safe," he adds as he steps out of the elevator moving towards the hall to the right.

I realize what he means to do, and I drop to the ground, immediately covering Tris' mouth with my hand.

She seems confused, but a small squeak escapes her, and I know that she has figured out his plan.

Andrew runs down the hall and fires over his shoulder, at the guards who pursue him. But he is not fast enough. One of them fires at his stomach and he groans. He clutches his stomach, and fires again. And again. When my path is clear, I stand and sprint to the end of the hallway, my gun drawn.

I pull the trigger and take down the final guard, but I am too late. Andrew slumps to the ground, his eyes locked on something behind me. His mouth opens like he is about to say something, but his chin drops to his chest, and his body relaxes before any words come out.

I turn, not quite sure what to expect of Tris, but she is already moving, running down the hall towards the control room. I sprint to catch up to her and we both stop short of the door to the control room.

The end of the line.

"This is it," I say to Tris.

She nods.

"Are you ready?"

She nods again.

I open the door to the familiar room and notice most of the screens are focused on the conflict at Abnegation. Their streets are crawling with Dauntless soldiers. A few of the cameras show what is going on in the Dauntless compound. One shows Marcus, Caleb and Peter nervously awaiting our return eight floors below us.

The centre screen has a line of code on it instead of an image. It breezes past fast. It is the simulation, the code compiled, a list of commands that anticipate and address a thousand different outcomes.

In front of the screen is a chair and a desk. Sitting in the chair is a Dauntless soldier, next to him another soldier stands. Two on two. The odds could be much worse.

"Four," Tris breathes beside me.

Four's head turns; he stands and looks between us, confused, and raises his gun. Tris and I raise our weapons in response. The other solider turns.

"Khloe."

Three on one, even better odds.

"You look like hell, Eric. What the fuck took you so long?" she asks, irritation evident in her voice.

Four stays put; his gun still raised. Tris looks between Khloe and me.

"Khloe, Tris; Tris, Khloe. We don't really have time to get into it, but we're all on the same side."

Tris nods apprehensively.

"So, what's the plan?" Khloe asks.

It's Four who speaks next. "Drop your weapons."

Well…here goes nothing.

"Do you know who you are speaking to?" I say, in my most arrogantly, authoritative voice. "I'm your leader, soldier, and it's you who will drop your weapon."

His head turns towards me, and he shifts his gun, now pointing it directly at me.

"Why does he even have a gun?" I ask Khloe without taking my eyes off Four. "Last time I saw you, you were ready to shoot him and now he has a gun?"

"He didn't seem dangerous in the truck. So, when he got it out of the back, I thought I'd see what happened. Plus, I didn't know how to stop him without having him turn on me. I mean, he hasn't tried to use it on me, so…I figured what's the harm."

"This," Tris says. "This is the harm."

"Drop your weapon, soldier," I try again. "Before I make you drop it."

Four blinks but stays in place. He almost seems stuck, like he's not sure what to do or who to listen to.

Khloe's foot comes out of nowhere and suddenly Four's gun is sliding across the floor.

Tris and I both look at her. "I mean…he wasn't listening," she says shrugging.

Four dives for his gun, no longer stuck, no longer wondering if we are friend or foe. It is clear to him now; we are his enemies.

"What the hell, Khloe?"

"What? I was helping!"

I let out an exasperated sigh and run at Four. I manage to kick his gun away, but he grabs my ankle. I stumble and trip into the wall in front of me. My gun clatters to the ground.

"Eric!" Tris shrieks.

I turn around to retaliate, but he is already on me. His fist collides with the side of my jaw, and I barely have time to duck before another blow comes my way. This time, his fist hits the wall and I bend forward, ramming my shoulder into his stomach and pushing him into the corner of the desk.

He groans in pain, but the blow doesn't slow him down. He immediately thrusts forward, his forehead colliding with mine. My vision goes black, and I stumble backwards.

When I can see again, I am met with the barrel of Four's gun.

Khloe and Tris aim their weapons at Four.

"Do you want me to shoot this, fucker?" Khloe asks, loading a bullet into the chamber of her gun.

"No!" Tris and I both yell.

"We need him. He's the only one who can stop the program," I continue.

"Okay, okay, I was just trying to help."

"Well stop," Tris says sternly. "Just stop trying to help because it's not actually helping."

"You know," Khloe says, waving the end of her gun between Tris and me. "You two are way more alike than I thought you'd be."

"And what does that mean?" Tris asks.

"It means, you're both kind of dicks."

I roll my eyes. "We don't have time for this. We need to snap him out of it. Do either of you have any ideas?"

Tris turns her attention back to Four, who is still standing, arm outstretched, gun in hand.

"Tobias," she says kindly.

He turns his attention and his gun on her.

"Tobias," she says again. "You're in a simulation."

He continues looking at her almost curiously. She looks thoughtful for a moment then lowers her gun and takes a step towards him.

"Tris…"

"It's okay, Eric, I have an idea."

She walks towards him slowly, tentatively, until his gun is only inches from her head.

I move in their direction, but Four immediately turns his gun on me and I freeze.

"Tris, back away from him."

"Trust me," she says.

My heart beats rapidly as Four brings his gun and his attention back to Tris. She takes one more step forward, the barrel of his gun now touching her forehead.

What the fuck is she doing. She's going to get herself killed.

"It's me—Tris. I know you're in there, Tobias."

He cocks his head and seems to be studying her face.

"It's me. Tris," she says again. "You don't want to shoot me," she continues, taking a deep breath. "You love me. You told me that, remember? Yesterday, after the last test. You told me you love me. Please, Tobias. It's me. It's Tris."

I can feel Khloe's eyes on me. Watching, waiting for my reaction to Tris' words.

I know she doesn't love him. Not the way he loves her. Not the way I think she loves me. But I can't help the way jealousy creeps hotly up my neck and into my face as I listen to how he proclaimed his love for her. Is this what she was trying to tell me before Max interrupted us?

Tris lifts her hand to his and he allows her to lower his gun.

I want to jump in and take it from him, but it's not enough that he isn't trying to kill us. We need his mind. We need him out of the simulation.

She takes another step forward and now their faces are only inches apart.

I grit my teeth as my jealousy rages on.

She lifts her hands, cupping his cheeks.

"It's me. It's me," she repeats.

He's looking at her intently now, like he's trying to understand.

Just a little more and this might actually work.

Tris tilts her head in my direction, almost as if she wants to turn and look at me but stops shy of doing so. Instead of turning, she raises herself up on her toes and presses her lips to his.

This is not what I meant by a little more.

For a second, he doesn't react… then suddenly his eyes come to life, and he is kissing her back. Watching them kiss, live and in person, is a million times worse than the images I had concocted of their first, and what I had assumed to be last, kiss.

After what feels like an eternity, my hands nearly numb from the way I'm clenching them into fists, Four speaks. "Tris?" he says softly.

"Tobias," she replies, lowering herself and taking a step back from him.

"You guys done? Or should we leave so you can…finish?" Khloe asks them with a snicker.

"Shut the fuck up," I growl at her. It's taking every ounce of my self-control not to knock Four out and if Khloe says another word, I might lose control.

Four looks up from Tris and seems surprised that they are not alone.

"What's going on?"

Tris is no longer looking at him; instead, she is looking behind him at the monitors. He follows her gaze, his eyes growing wide.

"Was I running the simulation?"

I take a deep breath and remind myself that we need him right now. "More like monitoring it," I say. "Jeanine made it so it can run on its own."

"It's…incredible. Terrible, evil…but incredible," he says.

"I think you just described Jeanine."

"Tobias," Tris says urgently, pointing to a screen that now shows Caleb, Marcus and Peter being surrounded by mindless soldiers. "Now, shut it down now!"

He runs to the computer screen and taps it a few times with his finger. I move over to Tris, who is shaking, watching her brother on the screen.

"Hurry up, Four," I say, putting my arm around Tris' waist. "He'll be okay," I say to her.

Four taps the screen a few more times and I'm astounded at how easily he's opening back doors and cutting through firewalls. I knew he was good when he said he had mirrored Max's computer, but shit, this is insane. He continues typing, jumbles of letters appearing and disappearing as screen after screen pops into view and suddenly, everyone on the first floor goes still.

Holy shit.

He did it.

Their arms drop to their sides and then they unfreeze. Their heads turning from side to side, dropping their guns, their mouths moving like they are shouting. Some of them shove each other while others sink to their knees, holding their heads and rocking back and forth.

Four crouches next to the computer and pulls the side of the case off.

"Wait," I say urgently.

"I have to get the data," he says, "or they'll just start the simulation again."

"Just stop for a second," I say, rubbing my forehead.

…the Erudite will find another way.

"What happens after you pull that out? What do we do next?" I ask the room.

They all look at me in a way that says, 'this isn't the time', but I need to know if anyone has a real plan.

"We run," Tris and Four say at the same time.

"And how does that help us stop this? Sure, the simulation is over, but the war is not."

Tris looks at me, confused. "We'll figure it out once we're safe. We can't stay here, Eric, they'll kill us."

She's right, they can't stay, but…

I turn towards Four. "Can you shut down the cameras and erase the footage from today?"

"…I…yeah of course I can, but they'll know it was us anyways, what would be..." He trails off, pausing for a second. "I mean, they'll assume Tris and I, but…oh." He nods in understanding. "Yeah, if that's what you want, I can do it."

"What?" Tris' voice is clipped. "Was there even a sentence in there?" She looks between us frantically. "What's going on?"

"Tris…" I start.

I don't know how to tell her.

"He's not coming with us," Four finishes for me.

"What?"

"It's the only way. If we all leave, we won't know what's going on. We won't know what they are planning. But they still trust me. If I stay, I can try to stop them from the inside…or at least warn people once I know what's going down."

"Absolutely not," she says firmly.

"Tris, I have to do this."

"Screw that. Screw that. Screw. That," she says angrily. "I have lost enough people today. I will not lose you too. This plan of yours is stupid, it's dangerous and it's half-assed. They will kill you if they figure it out. I refuse to lose you."

"We don't have any other plan. I'm doing this, Tris. I can't let them get away with this. I can't let them keep going."

Her body language is tense, angry. "No."

"Tris…"

"No. No. No. No. No." Her face softens slightly with each word until she sucks in her lower lip and bites down. Her eyes close and her breathing becomes uneven. I can tell she is trying to hold back tears.

I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head.

"It's the only way."

"Don't do this, don't leave me. I need you." Her head is buried in my chest, and she says it so quietly that there's a good chance Four and Khloe didn't even hear her.

Leaving her is the last thing I want to do. Leaving her with Four after what I just watched? Well, I want that even less, but it's the only plan we have.

"You don't. You're so strong, Tris. Stronger than you realize. You can do this." She looks up at me, tears silently flowing from her eyes. "We'll be together again. I promise."

"You can't promise that. You can't know that. If they find out…"

"They won't find out," I say, cutting her off. I don't want to think about it. Because she's right, if they find out, they'll kill me, and this will be the last time we see each other.

"Eric…"

"I love you, Tris. But I have to do this. I won't let them tear this city apart any further. I can't let them."

I look her in the eye and try to convey everything I'm feeling. I want her to know how much I love her and how badly this is breaking my heart, but I can't say it out loud because if I say it, I might just fall apart. So instead, I bring my lips to hers and pour everything I have into kissing her. Our kiss feels frantic and rushed and I can feel her tears against my cheeks. I wish it could last forever but time is against us, and I can hear Khloe clearing her throat. We pull apart.

"Sorry to interrupt this epic goodbye of yours, but there's a few flaws in your plan."

"She's right," Four adds. "Like, why is Peter downstairs with your brother and my dad?"

"Screw Peter, I'm talking about how long you and I have been gone, Eric. Max is going to have some questions."

I let go of Tris and turn towards Four. "Tris can fill you in on why he's with them. You'll have to convince him that I betrayed you. Convince him that I was never on your side. That I played you. I don't care how you do it—tell him I seduced Tris, tell him I brainwashed her, it doesn't matter, but whatever you tell him, he has to think that I was always loyal to Max."

Four nods and Tris stays silent with her arms wrapped around herself.

I hate that I'm hurting her.

"And the other thing?" Khloe says.

"It's your choice, Khloe. You can go with them if you want to. They'll keep you safe." I look at Four and then Tris for confirmation. Four nods again.

"Screw that. I don't know these two and I just started trusting you; there's no way in hell I'm going with them."

"Fine, stay with me. It'll be easier to explain my absence to Max if you're with me anyways."

I turn back to Four.

"Okay, I'm going to ask you to do something. But it means trusting you with my life. I know we've had our shit in the past and I know we both fell in love with the same girl but tell me I can trust you."

He looks between Tris and me and sighs. "I don't like you. I still have a hard time believing you're in love with her. But I know she loves you and if anything were to happen to you it would hurt her, and I wouldn't do that to her. So, I guess what I'm saying is yeah, you can trust me."

I take a deep breath. Maybe Tris is right. Maybe this plan is stupid, but no matter how stupid staying behind is, what I'm about to ask Four to do is definitely stupider.

"I need you to shoot me."

"Oh, for fuck's sake."

I almost laugh at Tris' reaction.

"That could work!" Khloe exclaims.

"Shut up," Tris says to her.

"What is your issue? You've been an ass to me since you stepped in this room. Did I do something to you that I'm unaware of?" Tris rolls her eyes as Khloe continues. "We need a way to explain where we've been to Max. Getting attacked and Eric getting shot would have massively held us up. I understand you don't want to see your boyfriend shot, especially not by…your other boyfriend? But it's a good plan. It might be the only plan that will keep us alive."

"Four is not my boyfriend."

"Say whatever you want, girl, but I just saw you make out with both of them and now you and Tobias are about to run off to Amity together. How the fuck am I supposed to know what's going on?"

"I'm with Eric. I'm in love with Eric. Okay? Do I make myself clear? Don't forget that when I leave."

Is she…jealous? Tris is jealous. Khloe was right, we are more alike than even I realized.

"Is that your issue? You think I want your man?" Khloe snorts.

"Tris…"

"I know it's stupid, Eric. I know that. I just don't know how to feel right now. I feel like we're saying goodbye forever and I'm sad and I'm angry. They've taken so much from me already; I can't stand the thought of you being taken away too."

"Tris…" I reach for her, but she turns away.

"Just do it, Four. Shut down the cameras. Wipe the footage. Shoot him and let's get out of here. We're running out of time."

She walks towards the door as Four starts taking apart the computer.

"Tris, please, don't leave like this."

She stops, her hand on the doorknob. I will her to turn around, but she doesn't.

"You've made your choice crystal clear, Eric, and I guess I have to accept that, but what I don't have to do is stand here and watch you get shot."

She turns the nob and walks through the door. I move to follow her, not wanting our last interaction to end like this, but Four, hard drive in hand, stops me.

"Let her go."

"I can't let her leave like this."

"It's easier for her to be angry than to feel her heart breaking. She needs this, okay? If she lets herself feel it all she won't be able to walk away. You have to let her go."

"She needs to know this doesn't change anything. She needs to know that I still love her."

"She knows. And she'll regret this. But it's what's best for her right now."

I hate that he's right.

I take a step back and turn to face Four head on.

"Ready?" he questions, gun in hand.

Is this something anyone could really be ready for?

I nod. "Do it."

Chapter Text

IMPORTANT: DON'T SKIP

Author's Note:

I spend a lot of time trying to write the follow up/conclusion that I originally envisioned for this story, but no matter how hard I tried I just wasn't feeling it. It was clear in the writing that it just wasn't working, so I put it aside for a bit and then, finally, I was inspired while listening to "All I Want" by Kodaline.

But, here's the thing, I am a sucker for a hurt/no comfort kind of story and I know that many of you are not, so while I absolutely love the ending I came up with I'm not sure many of you would agree. Therefore, I've written two different endings.

Now, it's going to be up to you to decide how you want the story to end:

You can stop right here. Accept the end as them splitting up in the control room and let your mind decide what the future brings for Eric and Tris.

You can move on and read Chapter 38: Turning Page and enjoy a lighter, fluffier ending.

You can skip straight to Chapter 39: All I Want and experience a much more turbulent conclusion to our saga.

You can read both endings and decide which one you like better and go with that - but if you choose this option and HATE the darker version you aren't allowed to be mad at me... please.

Thank you all for baring with me on this and the entire story. I spent a lot of time working on this story and I am really happy with how it's turned out.

Thank you for all of your support, encouragement, comments and kudos. 

Chapter Text

The war was over. It had taken over a year, but Jeanine's regime had finally fallen, and it was time to start rebuilding their community.

Eric's plan to turn double agent was shorted lived. When he, Khloe and the others were sent to Candor in search of Divergents, he was forced to take down Sam to protect Tris and after that he knew there was no going back.

It took a lot of convincing for the loyal Dauntless to accept him into their ranks, but thankfully the relentless testimonies from Tris, Four and even Khloe convinced them that he was truly on their side. From there, they were all able to work together to take down Jeannine.

The compound had been abandoned during the war and it was now time for the remaining Dauntless to reclaim it as their home. Tris and Eric were part of the reconnaissance team sent to ensure the compound was safe and make sure Jeanine hadn't left them any surprises.

The team had split upon arrival and Eric and Tris were forced to go their separate ways. They were surprised to learn that the power had remained on for the duration of the war which left them wondering if Jeanine's followers had used the building at some point. After finding no evidence to confirm it, however, this theory was quickly dismissed. Within a few hours of investigation, the teams resolved that the compound had been left untouched and, with a bit of cleaning, would quickly be fit for habitation.

Upon the conclusion of the inspection, the teams were instructed to return to Candor to share their findings, but Eric and Tris had other plans. They had yet to spend a single second alone together since the war ended and instead of returning to Candor with their colleagues, they planned to meet at Eric's former apartment.

So here Tris is, walking down the familiar hallway to Eric's apartment trying not to explode with excitement.

She reaches his door and knocks but no one answers. Based on the findings of the day, she's fairly certain the old security system is still in place and with a few pushes of the keypad, she hears the door unlatch and is able to push her way in.

She scans the room.

The last time she was here was the morning of her final test. She looks towards the kitchen and smiles at the memory of them making pancakes together.

She stares for a second, it's just as they left it – dishes in the sink and coffee mugs on the table. When they parted that day, neither realized it would be months before they returned.

It dawns on her how naïve she was to be more worried about her final test that day than the impending war.

The familiar click of the door opening pulls her from her thoughts. She takes a deep breath before turning around.

"Eric," she breathes, a small smile forming on her face.

"Tris," he replies.

Neither of them move at first, instead, they spend a moment taking each other in.

His hair had grown out quite a bit in the past year and is surprisingly curly. He had a bit of a beard now and while he was still young, only twenty, there was no denying that the hardships of war had transformed Eric from a boy to a man.

Tris worries briefly about her appearance. She knows her hair is overgrown and messy and the bags under her eyes make her appear years older than she is.

"I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life," he says as though having read her mind.

That simple sentence is enough to rid her of her worries and as relief washes over her, tears begin to form in her eyes. She curses herself for breaking down, but she's longed for this moment for so long. The moment when they can properly start their lives together, and the realization that this is the moment she has been waiting for causes an expected wave of emotions that is just too strong for her to contain.

Eric closes the gap between them and wraps his arms around her.

Her tears turned to sobs against his chest.

"I can't believe its finally over," she says quietly between ragged breaths, the stress of the passed months releasing through her tears.

"This almost doesn't feel real," he replies, squeezing her tightly against him.

They stay there silently as her tears slowly subside. She pulls back slightly, and he shifts so his arms are now loosely draped around her waist.

"I'm sorry," she mumbles wiping her tears away.

"Don't be," he says shaking his head. "Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'm going to kiss you now."

It isn't a question, but a welcomed statement.

She barely has time to smile before his lips are on hers. Their mouths move in unison as she stretches her arms up and places her hands on the base of his neck. He pulls her flush against him as they explore each others' mouths.

She feels his hand run up her spine before his fingers thread through her hair and his hand stops to rest on the back of her head. She pushes her mouth harder against his wanting, needing to be as close to him as possible.

In her current position, a small sliver of her back is exposed, and she shivers as he runs the tips of his fingers across her flesh.

The war started before they had a chance to go any further than this. Back then, she wasn't ready, the relationship was new, and he was her first boyfriend. While she knew that she loved him, she wasn't quite prepared to give herself over to him completely. As the war dragged on their feelings for each other continued to grow and it didn't take long for her to realize that she was more than ready to take this step with him. But it was hard to find any time to themselves and he had emphasized more than once that when they finally took this step it wouldn't be rushed. He wanted it to be perfect which meant waiting for a time when a soft bed was available, there was no possible way anyone could walk in on them, and they were free to take their time.

During the few quiet moments that they did have together during the war, they would fantasize about their future, neither one of them daring to bring up the very real prospect that both of them coming out of this war unscathed was unlikely. But through some miracle, here they were both alive and fully intact.

She slows their kiss and pulls back a little.

"Eric," she says quietly.

"Sorry," he mumbles, resting his forehead against hers. "I got a little carried away."

"No," she replies, shaking her head. "Don't be sorry. I'm ready, I want to be with you."

He tries to supress an excited smile but fails miserably. "Are you sure? We have all the time in the world, we don't have to rush it."

She knows he means it, but she can also tell by the look on his face that he wants this just as much as she does.

She laughs, smiling. "I think we've waited long enough. I'm more than sure."

He lets himself grin openly now and leans down taking her lips between his once more.

"I've wanted this for so long," he whispers between kisses.

"Me too," she replies giggling.

They stumbled towards his bedroom refusing to let go of each other along the way. Luckily, the door is open, and it doesn't take long before he feels the back of his legs hitting the edge of the bed. His knees buckle and they break apart as he falls into a sitting position. She takes this opportunity to straddle him before quickly reattaching her lips to his.

His hands run up her thighs and around her back before gently tugging at the hem of her shirt. She raises her arms, and he makes short work of slipping her shirt off. She caresses his chin with the palm of her hand and places gentle kisses down his neck before leaning back and looking towards the bottom of his shirt. This time, its his turn to raise his arms as she slowly draws his shirt upwards. With his shirt gone, she takes her time brushing her fingers slowly against the newly exposed skin of his taut stomach.

"Tris," she hears vaguely.

"Mmhmm," she replies too distracted to look up at him.

She feels his fingers beneath her chin, coaxing her to look up at him and she obliges.

"I love you," he says simply when their eyes meet.

"I love you, too," she replies, a soft smile tugging at her lips.

Tomorrow will bring a new set of challenges, but for today, the two ignore the outside world and savour every moment they have exploring each others' bodies.

Chapter Text

She had jumped down the hole to get in. She could have used the front door, but it had been over a year since she had been in the Dauntless compound, and she thought it was fitting that she use the same "door" she had used her first day here.

The war had finally ended and while there was still a long list of things that needed to be figured out, all she wanted to do was sleep in a familiar bed, next to a familiar face.

As she made her way through the winding hallways, she smiled at the thought of him.

It had been weeks since she had last seen him and even then, it had only been for a few moments before they had to go their separate ways.

They had communicated since, but not face to face. Thankfully, Jeanine's regime had fallen, and Eric was easily cleared of all charges brought against him.

Unfortunately, while they awaited his trial, they weren't able to see each other and, due to the nature of their relationship, she wasn't permitted to attend the trial.

Four, having been appointed to leadership during the war efforts, had attended the trial and was able to coordinate a meeting between Eric and Tris after the trial had come to a close.

So here she is, walking down the familiar hallway to Eric's apartment trying not to explode with excitement.

She reaches his door and knocks but no one answers. She's not sure whether the old security system is still in place but figures its worth a shot to try his code anyway. With a few pushes of the keypad, she hears the door unlatch and she is able to push her way in.

She scans the room.

The last time she was here was the morning of her final test. She looks towards the kitchen and smiles at the memory of them making pancakes together.

She stares for a second, looking at how clean the kitchen and dining area are. When they left that morning, she was sure that there had been dishes in the sink and coffee cups on the table.

The war had started less than 24 hours after their shenanigans in the kitchen and she had gone straight to Abnegation without stopping to change or gather any of her things from the initiate dorms. Eric had had a full day of watching the initiates complete their fear landscapes before everyone gathered in the Pit for the big announcement and celebration. From there he had gone straight to his meeting with Max.

Had he gotten home at some point? Had someone else been here?

He could have been back during the war. Just because the Dauntless who were loyal to Jeanine and Max relocated to the Erudite headquarters didn't mean they never returned to the compound. They would likely have needed to collect some things.

But would he really have taken the time to clean?

The familiar click of the door opening pulls her from her thoughts. She takes a deep breath and turns around.

"Eric," she breathes, a small smile forming on her face.

"Tris," he replies.

Neither of them move at first, instead, they spend a moment to taking each other in.

When she saw him last, his hair had grown out and was surprisingly curly. He had a bit of a beard and he looked absolutely exhausted. Looking at him now, you would never know the hardships he had gone through during the war. His hair was cut short again, the top perfectly quaffed, and all evidence of facial hair was gone.

She worried briefly about her appearance. She knew her hair was overgrown and messy and the bags under her eyes made her appear years older than she was.

"I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life," he says as though having heard her thoughts.

That simple sentence is enough to rid her of her worries. Relief washes over her and tears began to form in her eyes.

Seeing this, Eric closes the gap between them and wraps his arms around her.

Her tears turned to sobs against his chest.

"I can't believe its finally over," she says quietly between ragged breaths, the stress of the passed months releasing through her tears. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too. But it's over now, and we never have to miss each other again," he replies, squeezing her tightly against him.

They stay there silently as her tears slowly subside. She pulls back slightly, and he shifts so his arms are now loosely draped around her waist.

"I'm sorry," she mumbles wiping her tears away.

"Don't be," he says shaking his head. "Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'm going to kiss you now."

It isn't a question, but a welcomed statement.

She barely has time to smile before his lips are on hers. Their mouths move in unison as she stretches her arms up and places her hands on the base of his neck. He pulls her flush against him as they explore each others' mouths.

She feels his hand run up her spine before his fingers thread through her hair and his hand stops to rest on the back of her head. She pushes her mouth harder against his wanting, needing to be as close to him as possible.

In her current position, a small sliver of her back is exposed, and she shivers as he runs the tips of his fingers across her flesh.

The war started before they had a chance to go any further than this. Back then, she wasn't ready, the relationship was new, and he was her first boyfriend. While she knew that she loved him, she wasn't quite prepared to give herself over to him completely.

But as the war dragged on and they were forced to be apart, her feelings for him continued to grow and it didn't take long for her to realize that she was more than ready to take this step with him.

During the hardest of times, fantasizing about their reunion was one of the only things that kept her going.

She slows their kiss and pulls back a little.

"Eric," she says quietly.

"Sorry."

"No," she replies, shaking her head. "Don't be. I want…I want to be with you."

He tilts his head and studies her expression. "You mean…?"

She nods yes. "I'm ready."

He tries to supress an excited smile but fails miserably. "Are you sure? We have all the time in the world, we don't have to rush it."

She knows he means it, but she can also tell by the look on his face that he wants this just as much as she does.

She laughs, smiling. "I'm more than sure."

He lets himself grin openly now and leans down taking her lips between his once more.

"I've wanted this for so long," he whispers between kisses.

"Me too," she replies giggling.

They stumbled towards his bedroom refusing to let go of each other along the way. Luckily, the door is open, and it doesn't take long before he feels the back of his legs hitting the edge of the bed. His knees buckle and they break apart as he falls into a sitting position. She takes this opportunity to straddle him before quickly reattaching her lips to his.

His hands run up her thighs and around her back before gently tugging at the hem of her shirt. She raises her arms, and he makes short work of slipping her shirt off. She caresses his chin with the palm of her hand and places gentle kisses down his neck before leaning back and looking towards the bottom of his shirt. This time, its his turn to raise his arms as she slowly draws his shirt upwards, taking her time to brush her fingers against the newly exposed skin of his taut stomach.

"Tris," she hears vaguely.

"Mmhmm," she replies too distracted to look up at him.

"Tris," she hears again. This time, it's said loudly and with urgency causing her to snap her head up to look at him. She expects to be met with Eric's smoky grey eyes but instead she finds the dark blue eyes of a frantic looking Four.

She whips her head around and takes in her surroundings.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she yells swinging her legs over the side of the chair she is sitting on and looking him dead in the eyes, nostrils flared in anger.

"I could ask you the same thing. Is this what you've been doing every time you disappear, and no one can find you?" he says, pointing at the simulation machine.

"It's really none of your business what I do with my time. Just leave me alone."

He takes a second to study her. She looks tired. He'd noticed it before, but not to this extent. Granted, she'd been avoiding him lately, so it had been a while since he had gotten a good look at her.

"How are you doing it?"

"What do you mean?"

"This simulator is only set up to allow you to run through your fears…but from what I saw…"

Her eyes grow wide as she realizes what exactly he had just seen. She stands up from the chair and crosses her arms.

"You watched?" she spits indignantly.

"I…" he stammers. "I wanted to know what you were doing here. At first, I assumed you were just running through your fears. I get that, I used to do it all the time. In a weird way it helped me blow off some steam but that wasn't a fear…I don't know what that was…"

"Like I said, what that was is none of your business."

He sighs but does his best to push his frustration aside.

"Please Tris, just explain this to me because I want to understand."

She takes a deep breath and resigns herself to talking to him. Her arms fall to her sides, and she closes her eyes.

"Technically, it is a fear…or at least it was."

His brows furrow and his face contorts with confusion before his eyes suddenly light up in understanding.

"Your fear of intimacy," he states.

She nods slowly in response.

"The first time I came here after the war I didn't care if all I could do was replay my fear over and over again, even if it meant going through all of my fears just to get to this one. But I was able to figure out how to choose a specific fear like you and Lauren did during initiation and once I did that, I realized it didn't have to play out the way it did during the final test, I could manipulate it however I wanted."

He raises his hand to his head and rubs his temples with his thumb and index finger.

"How often?"

She looks down at the ground.

"Everyday."

He blinks in surprised.

"When did it start?"

She continues to stare at the ground, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"A week after we all moved back into the compound."

"But…that was months ago. You've been coming here for months. Why?"

She finally looks up at him, her head tilted to the side.

"Do you really have to ask me that?"

"Tell me."

Here eyes start to sting, and she knows she won't be able to hold back tears for long.

"I needed to see him. To be with him."

Her eyes grow wet, and she tries to swallow away the lump that has formed in her throat.

He takes a step towards her and meets her gaze.

"But it's not real," he says gently, shaking his head.

"It feels real. When I'm in the simulation. It feels more real than this hell I'm stuck living in without him."

How had he missed this? How did he not realize just how broken she was?

"Tris…" he starts sympathetically.

"No. I don't want your pity. Just leave me alone."

She's moments away from breaking and she can't stand the thought of him pitying her even more than he already is.

"He's gone, Tris. It's okay to grieve. It's okay to think about him. Heck, its even okay to get lost in memories of him. But this…this isn't healthy."

Tears start to fall silently down her cheeks, and she sniffles as her nose begins to run.

"But I can't. All of my memories…she ruined them. They're all tainted. Every time I try to think back. Every time I try to remember…it's starts out okay but then…then…"

The tears keep flowing and her breath turns uneven.

"Then what…?" he asks hesitantly.

She takes five deep breathes, trying desperately to calm herself.

"All of my memories morph into the last time I saw him."

"You mean…" Four starts but trails off.

She nods.

"Yes. The day she hooked him up to all those machines and made him fight for life. The day she made him try to open that godforsaken box. The day she made me watch him die. She knew. She knew he wouldn't be able to do it. She knew he never stood a chance."

She starts to pace the small room. Anger mixing with her sadness.

"All of those Divergents died trying to open it, there was no way he would be able to do it. She did it to punish him for betraying her and she made me watch to punish me. She told me it was my fault that he betrayed her. And when his body went limp and he was hanging there in front of me, still attached to all those wires, she told me it was my fault and that if it wasn't for me, he would still be alive."

"Tris…I…I can't even imagine what that must have been like, but this isn't okay. Never mind the fact that that serum was never intended to be used at this frequency, this isn't good for you mentally. Please, I'll do anything to help you, but this needs to stop."

"No."

"Tris…"

"No. You don't get to decide what I need. I know what I need. Eric is what I need."

He lets out sigh. The last thing he wants to do is upset her more, but she can't go on like this.

"He's gone. He's gone and he's not coming back. But there are people who are here who care about you. People who can help you."

She snorts and shakes her head.

"Everyone is gone. Eric. My parents. Will. Christina says she forgives me, but she can't even look me in the eye. I don't have anyone."

"You have me. I'm still here."

She wipes her nose on her sleeve and lets out a dark laugh.

"You'll never be him," she says, her face hard. "And I'll never be who you want me to be."

He shakes his head.

"Tris, I didn't mean…"

"Leave," she bellows causing him to step back in shock. She moves forward and pushes him towards the door. "Leave, now."

Before he can react, she walks over to the cupboard of syringes, pulls one out and returns to her place in the simulation chair.

"Goodbye Four," she says simply before plunging the needle into her neck.

He stays put in front of the door and watches as Tris' eyes flutter shut and her body relaxes.

"Eric," she breathes, a small smile forming on her face.

Four shakes his head sadly and opens the door.