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Chapter Text

SHIKAMARU

Life is boring.

For any other child his age, those words would be met with horrified looks filled with concern. But Shikamaru is no ordinary child, he is a Nara, and his words are so expected that his mother doesn't bother to look in his direction when her beloved son says them.

His mother's lack of response is also expected, Shikamaru didn't need an answer to begin with. The words just tumble out of his mouth before he could stop them, his mind completely shut down enough to stop him from saying aloud the first thought that crosses his mind.

It's an ordinary, boring, common day, just like all the others. Sweat runs down his forehead, because even surrounded by trees, the heat could still be felt. He is sitting in the same place where he has sat all his (short) life, in the chair to the left of his father, waiting to eat together.

The questions are going to be the same as always, he can almost visualize it. His father will say the food is delicious, his mother will smile and ask how his day was, his father will talk about work for about ten minutes before the attention of both adults is focused on him, waiting for his turn to speak.

The situation unfolds just as he expects, only as he finishes speaking, his father turns to look at him. "How was the first day at the academy?"

Shikamaru blinks slowly before thinking carefully about the question. Ah, that's right. "Annoying." He says, stopping to take a drink of water in the hopes that his parents are satisfied with the answer, but they both continue in silence waiting for him to continue. Unable to escape, he adds. "We didn't learn much. Two ANBU came into the classroom looking for someone, the teacher went into a panic when he saw the list of students. One of the kids didn't make it to class and the rest of the day was suspended. That's it."

His parents seem to know something about it, because the information he has shared doesn't surprise them. Shikamaru wants to roll his eyes; if they already knew about the situation, why bother him to say anything about it? It's a waste of his breath.

"I expected nothing less from Kushina's son." His mother says, smiling somewhat sweetly. "Always causing trouble, it's only natural he'd inherit it."

"Anyone would think Minato's genes could tame his mother's rebelliousness." His father added. "But considering he's been practically raised by Hatake and Jiraiya, we should be thankful the village isn't on fire right now."

Shikamaru absorbed all the information like a sponge. The names said by his parents were too important to overlook.

It was clear that the conversation was about Namikaze Minato (the Hokage, duh) and his wife, Uzumaki Kushina. So the center of today's disaster could be none other than the mysterious, practically phantom, son of the two.

Namikaze Naruto.

Shikamaru knows next to nothing about him. Apparently, he inherited such an important power that at his birth the village was at risk, but everything turned out perfectly fine. Almost as soon as he learned to walk, they assigned him one of the sannin as a teacher to train him outside of Konoha, hoping to keep him safe during the dark days (the village almost turned hostile against one of the clans, the Uchiha, under the dangerous vigilance of Danzo and Obito, even while recovering from the war).

Even when peace and stability returned, Naruto did not. At least, not publicly. Shikamaru had never seen his face before, but he knew when he was visiting since Hatake Kakashi was visiting.

The poor bastard, there's no use being a genius if your most important mission is to babysit a kid.

And now, to top it all off, Shikamaru will have to share a classroom with Namikaze. As if sharing the same four walls with Uchiha Sasuke wasn't enough. Now he would have to deal with another jerk with delusions of grandeur who thought everyone should kiss the ground he walks on (technically, probably, he should. He's almost a prince).

Namikaze had shown, without even showing his face, that he was bad news. Putting ANBU on a run on the first day and ruining several people's day.

A pain in the ass, really.

He wished he had continued training outside of Kohona.

X

Shikamaru is almost tempted to pretend to be sick. But that plan wasn't going to work. Point A, his mother would find out immediately, Point B, his father would find out immediately, Point C, they would both ignore the lie and as punishment play along and drag him to the hospital, faking concern, leaving him at the hands of different nurses who would surely ask questions, tests and....

No. It's much better to get up and face half a day at the academy.

He has no idea why his family insists that he attend the academy. Shikamaru knows almost absolutely everything they can teach there, surely Uchiha and Hyuga do too. But the clans are stupidly proud and full of tradition, so they are doomed to comply.

Shikamaru doesn't bother to pretend enthusiasm, he walks slowly towards the academy, hands behind his neck, eyes closed. He can almost feel Yamanaka Ino's hurried footsteps behind him, the girl is at his side in seconds, grabbing his arm and dragging him against his will so as not to be late.

When they are at the door of the classroom, Ino disappears immediately, probably running to win the place next to Uchiha before Haruno Sakura arrives. Shikamaru is ready to head to his seat on the far side of the board, next to the window, the perfect place to watch the clouds and rest, when he sees the thief sitting in that spot.

Shikamaru stops in front of the desk, arms folded, watching the one who has stolen his spot to relax. There is still a seat to his side, but there the clouds are out of sight and the air is not so fresh. He is about to turn and leave when the stranger raises his head (apparently he had been sleeping) and with sleepy eyes makes eye contact with Shikamaru.

"Oh!" The stranger exclaims, with big blue eyes and bright blonde hair. Shikamaru doesn't have to add two plus two to know who it is. His mouth is about to form a grimace of annoyance when the softest voice in the universe says. "You must be Nara Shikamaru. Choji-san told me that you sat here yesterday and you probably wanted to sit in the same spot, but the air was so fresh that I couldn't help but rest for a while, you know? I'm used to nature and being indoors is a bit irritating, it's not my style...oh! Sorry, I'm Namikaze Naturo, by the way!" The boy smiles, a stupid, big, dazzling grin, before getting up and standing to the side of the desk, extending his hands towards the chair. "Well, come on in! I hope you don't mind me sitting next to you, the air isn't the same, but it's still cooler than anywhere else, how about sharing a desk forever? We'll be great friends!"

Shikamaru doesn't know how someone can speak so fast and so softly at the same time, and he doesn't even want to imagine what his voice would be like if he shouted. He feels like a cornered animal with the looks of everyone watching him, it's clear they've heard the conversation, and now most of them seem to be eager to get a piece of the famous and mysterious Namikaze. Part of him wants to move and get as far away as possible from what would likely be a long and drawn out interaction with many people, but that's Shikamaru's seat and he's not going to move just because. He casually sits back in the chair, ready to rest and enjoy his spot, when Namikaze decides to continue the unwelcoming conversation.

"Oi! Oi! Kakashi-nii san says Nara's are a pain in the ass, is it true, is it true?" He says, tapping her shoulder. "But someone with such good taste in finding relaxing places can't be that bad, don't you think?"

Shikamaru can feel the annoyance growing in him, but before he removes his hand from his shoulder, someone else is in front of them.

"I wouldn't be so upset if it was you." Inuzuka Kiba interrupts. "Shikamaru hates talking to practically anyone. Let him rest, and your life will be eternally peaceful."

Namikaze laughs, a sweet, playful laugh, as if Inuzuka had told a very good joke, before replying. "We're seat friends, sooner or later he'll have to answer!"

"Hey, Namikaze-san..."

"Naruto." Interrupted the boy, quickly.

"Naruto." Tentatively rectified the unfamiliar voice, Shikamaru speculates that it's Haruno. "Is it true that you trained with one of the sannin?"

"I wouldn't call it training." He replies, in the same playful and amused tone. "If not like, a torture filled with frogs, water and trees. I don't know what's so great about the old pervert, but at least he knows how to behave considering I was with him for like, five years of my life. Almost my whole life. Whatever."

The conversation continues until the teacher arrives. Shikamaru is thankful that this is the case, because then he can sleep, or try to sleep, if Namikaze doesn't disturb him during lectures as well.

However, the blond seems to be a perfect companion and under all odds, he stays silent and in his place letting him relax.

X

Routines are the best thing that can happen to a Nara. Because then he can do things without much effort because there is a pattern and nothing will change.

Naruto's presence (after almost four years sharing a desk, it's impossible to keep calling him by his last name) has fit perfectly into that routine and his soft (and sometimes too loud, when he decides to be annoying or make one of his jokes when he's bored) voice is now so common in his ears that he can sleep even if a hurricane personified is sitting next to him.

He's even gotten used to lunches surrounded by his classmates playing and chatting noisily, and afternoons when Naruto drags him home to eat with his parents, as if it's completely normal for Shikamaru to share the table with the Hokage.

The routine would be completely perfect if there were no changes threateningly close; like, for example, the beginning of the practical part at the academy.

More than one of his classmates vibrates with excitement about it, eager to prove his worth as a future ninja, but Shikamaru just wants the whole drama to be over so he can go home.

The battles between his teammates go by ridiculously. Most of them completely suck on the first try, others last a little longer, defending themselves with difficulty, Shikamaru's own fight against a very determined Sakura doesn't even last a minute, beating her almost immediately. Shikamaru is ready to settle in next to Choji and sleep through the rest of the fights when Naruto's name is called.

His eyes widen with vague interest, and he watches subtly as the boy positions himself in front of Sasuke Uchiha, who looks at him with complete indifference.

It's no secret that Uchiha is the only one who has resisted the blond's attempts at friendship, arguing that he doesn't want to be the mini Hogake's lapdog. (Shikamaru thinks his disdain is rooted in the tension between the Namikaze and the Uchiha, who still don't seem to know if the truce between the two clans is stable after Obito Uchiha's betrayal in trying to kill the Hokage and his wife after faking his death. Shikamaru believes that Naruto would have every right to hate the Uchiha for it, even if Obito was dead. But Naruto would not give up trying to be friends with Sasuke, much to everyone's surprise).

Everyone seems to be extremely interested in the outcome of the fight of what are undoubtedly the best students in the academy.

One minute, Shikamaru's life was a grayscale and the next, he was living in an explosion of color.

The sky is bluer and the shape of the clouds is more prominent, the smell of the grass intensifies and the air sings instead of simply beating against his body. Suddenly people have faces and among them all one undoubtedly shines above the rest.

Namikaze Naruto is a sun on earth. His chakra spreads throughout his body and illuminates the darkest corners in Shikamaru's soul. A beautiful yellow color with slight orange tones flashes in front of him, followed closely by Sasuke's purple chakra. The fight goes on for several minutes, everyone's eyes fixed on what seems to be the best fight of their lives.

Shikamaru only has eyes for Naruto, truth be told. He's obsessed with carving in fire the cool yet warm feeling he makes him feel, of how his chakra seems to have awakened something that was sleeping inside his soul, of the feeling of fullness that's stealing his breath and taking him to heaven and....

And then it stops.

The teacher has stopped the fight and both Naruto and Sasuke are in perfect condition. Neither has a single scratch on their bodies, but they are soaked in sweat, Naruto with a huge smile of satisfaction and happiness and Sasuke looking at him completely dumbfounded, incredulous, almost as if he was seeing him for the first time.

The world is not grayscale again; Shikamaru's senses are still completely amplified, Naruto is still glowing incredibly, but the feeling of fullness has lessened and he no longer feels intoxicated in it.

Shikamaru senses the feeling of horror growing internally in him, because he has read about it, he has seen examples of it, every adult in his clan has explained to him that it could happen to him. When Naruto stops looking at Sasuske and connects his gaze with Shikamaru's, raising his arm in the air and shouting, "Shika! Shika, did you see that? That was awesome!" It feels like the final sentence of his swirling emotions, because Shikamaru's usual calm heart beats in a rush, he feels the blood run through his body to form a home in his cheeks, and it's the final point in a not funny joke at all.

Shikamaru can't be the victim of something as stupid, as annoying and as demanding as a fixation. Shikamaru is smarter than that, he's different than....

Naruto keeps waving his arm to get his attention, and his heart is beating in a hurry again.

Shit.

X

The rest of the afternoon he avoided Naruto like the plague. He has locked himself in his room as soon as he arrived, and has looked at himself in the mirror in total disbelief.

Shikamaru knows perfectly about a Nara's fixations. It can happen at any time and with anything, it can happen or it can never happen, and if it does then it's a pain in the ass. The intensity always varies, it can be a simple hobby or bordering on obsession, you can live without the fixation or die and kill for it. Each case was unique, different and special for each Nara.

Shikamaru is not willing to sacrifice his beloved, quiet and peaceful life for a fixation. Human fixations are usually the most complicated, he genuinely does not want nor is he ready to submit to such a thing, even if his mind, shadow and heart go the opposite way.

He desperately prays that his fixation is something so non-dominant in his life that he can live without acknowledging that he has a fixation until the day he dies. Shikamaru firmly believes that he can stand against the curse of his lineage and refuse to bow to his own darkness. Shikamaru doesn't need an anchor or a light, he is perfectly content in the shadows.

Shikamaru doesn't need Naruto to live.

X

Naruto won't leave him alone.

The blond is disturbed by Shikamaru's sudden distancing and follows him closely as he tries to escape. He talks to him non-stop and clings to his arm as he tries to change places, their friends watch the interaction with growing concern, Ino asking him if he's feeling okay, Choji saying that it's not normal for them, to make amends, that they're inseparable and it's sad to see them like this.

Their words do him more harm than good, and infuriate him even more. It is when he tries to put distance between Naruto and himself that he realizes he has spent the last four years unconsciously gravitating around Namikaze Naruto. The fixation had taken root before he could realize what was happening, and he was so used to Naruto's presence that when his Chakra activated, it was simply the final straw to a glass that had already been filled.

After the fourth week of trying to resist the fixation, with too little sleep and too much frustration, Shikamaru explodes.

It's a random day after school, Ino, Choji, Kiba and Naruto are talking next to him about going to eat ramen and Shikamaru's head is killing him, the final blow turns out to be Naruto's arm intertwining with his.

Something inside him breaks, and rage takes possession of his body. Shikamaru can not help but feel that free will has been stolen from him, that his hands are tied and that feeling of fullness he feels when he has contact with Naruto is not real, it is not his, it does not belong to him and he never asked for it.

It's not real, it's not real, it's not real....

“Will you leave me alone?” his voice loud, but without shouting. Though it might as well have been a scream coming from him, who almost never wishes to speak. "I'm sick of you and you bothering me all the time. It's tiring to be around you, I'm sick of putting up with your word vomit and that effusiveness and intensity that surrounds you makes me tired, it annoys me, I'm sick of it." His words are full of venom, and his heart aches as if they were directed at himself and not Naruto. Ino makes a noise of despair, Choji steps forward to grab his arm and stop him. However, he continues. "Who do you think you are to come and ruin my life or my friends' lives? Now I can't get rid of you because you're stuck like a damn leech, if only you hadn't come to Konoha then..."

Shikamaru stops abruptly and his cheek burns. Naruto stands in front of him with his face twisted in anger and pain, his fist raised, inches from his face. Shikamaru is sure Naruto is going to hit him again when suddenly his fist slowly falls to his side. His face turns from anger to sadness and a single tear falls down his cheek before his expression becomes impossible to read.

"Sorry." Naruto says, voice monotone, distant, cold. So different from his soft voice. "It won't happen again."

Naruto turns around and shakes Kiba's grip, who desperately begs him not to leave and for them to talk about what happened. Naruto gently undoes his grip and runs out of sight.

Ino is in front of him suddenly, shaking him by the collar of his shirt while telling him that he's an idiot, to apologize to Naruto, to tell them what the hell is going on.

In the end Shikamaru is left alone in the middle of the street.

Life gets a little gray, then.

X

Naruto has switched seats.

After a full weekend without school, locked up at home and repeating Naruto's last words in his head (Sorry, it won't happen again/Sorry, it won't happen again/Sorry...) Shikamaru believed that coming back would be a whole new world. He would be alone, probably being bullied for hurting the feelings of Kohona's little prince, and enduring the hostile looks from the rest of his classmates.

The reality is very different, in the end.

Naruto has switched places, and now Choji sits next to Shikamaru, with Ino and Kiba across from them. The dynamic is exactly the same, though he doesn't let Ino's fleeting glances of sadness pass, the girl makes a huge effort to show that nothing has changed between them. But there is too great a void in their group, and in Shikamaru's heart.

Naruto is sitting at the front of the class, Uchiha Sasuka is sitting next to him, as they talk in hushed tones. Haruno Sakura is leaning on the desk, also contributing things to the conversation, with a slight smile on her face.

No one gives Shikamaru hostile looks, no one hates him, and his friends are still standing next to him. Life around him is exactly the same as life before Naruto, except that the blond is there, on the other side of the room, surrounded by a boy who hated him with his soul weeks ago and an annoying know-it-all who didn't fit into any group of friends (not even with Hyuga Hinata, and that's saying too much).

Naruto doesn't talk to him, doesn't see him, and doesn't approach him. The teachers don't pair them up in groups or fights, and Naruto's steady partner is no longer Shikamaru, but Sasuke.

It's as if suddenly the last four years don't exist, even though Naruto was glued to him every day and all the time.

The distancing he so longed for was suddenly undeniably real. Shikamaru finds it hard to breathe for the first few days, before getting used to the growing distance between the two of them. His sleeping habit does not improve, and when he does manage to sleep he suffers from nightmares. Two weeks later, he manages to sleep, but not rest, no matter how much time he has spent in bed, his body feels as if he hasn't rested at all. The grass has no smell and the sky is a sad, dull, hopeless blue.

Shikamaru has found a painful balance in the distance with Naruto. His shadow seems to be satisfied with just looking at him from a distance, after several weeks, probably accepting that he will never have him within arm's reach again. When Naruto is away, in his thoughts he always lives.

His parents are worried, but they don't ask him about it, no one does, and Shikamaru doesn't share his inner agony.

Shikamaru has beaten the fixation. Shikamaru can live without Naruto.

X

Two years feels like an eternity.

Shikamaru has graduated along with his class, and his heart is pounding desperately for the first time in a long time at the prospect of being on a team with Naruto.

Years ago, before the fixation, Naruto had begged and made the Hokage promise that he would be on the same team as Shikamaru, arguing that no one understood him better than he did, that he would be a perfect addition even if the possibility of replicating the Ino-Shika-Cho group was right up there. Namikaze Minato adored his son, and Uzumaki Kushina was smitten with Shikamaru, so both had agreed with conspiratorial smiles in making his dreams come true.

Damn spoiled prince.

The teacher starts naming the teams in clear and loud tones. Shikamaru barely has time to settle into his place when his heart breaks once again in the last two years. "Team 7, Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, Namikaze Naruto. Supervisor: Hatake Kakashi."

Sakura raises her arms in triumph, Sasuke smirks and Naruto smiles back, saying. "I told you! Kakashi-nii san is an excellent teacher!"

"That's because he's your brother and he adores you." Sasuke replies, rolling his eyes. "Dobe."

"As if Itachi isn't the same with you." Naruto sticks his tongue out at him, Sakura slaps them both on the shoulder, asking them to shut up. "Teme."

Shikamaru watches the dynamic between the three with envy and apprehension, ignoring the rest of the ceremony. Now that his (non) hopes have been crushed, it's clear what his team is going to be. His concentration is fixed on the familiarity in Sakura and Sasuke's movements, on how the pink-haired girl rested her head on Naruto's shoulder with complete ease, and how Sasuke intertwined his arm with Naruto's.

Anyone outside of the ones Shikamaru was used to was an enemy. Sasuke and Sakura top the lists of disdain he has. He is convinced he would kill them in their sleep if either crossed the imaginary line Shikamaru had set.

A year ago Shikamaru had acknowledged in front of the mirror that he couldn't fight the fixation. The distance with Naruto was killing him, and to his horror, he discovered that, while he hadn't decided the fixation, he had decided his feelings for Naruto. Shikamaru had been happy with Naruto around, though he fervently wanted to deny it. The fixation was there, Shikamaru is who had decided it was romantically.

The fixation was a curse that could drive you crazy or it could drive you to paradise. Shikamaru had thought he had it under control, but he didn't. His discretion with the affair had led him down the worst path, and now he was suffering the consequences of his actions.

The tick in his eye returned as Uchiha laughed at Sakura's teasing, stretching and accidentally falling on Naruto's chest, who hugged him and laughed with Sakura at the embarrassed face of the third party. His hand clenched into a fist, and he was sure he was about to get up and kill someone when Ino held him by the edge of his shirt, her gaze full of coldness.

“No.” Ino said. Shikamaru knows that Ino doesn't know the truth. But her friend hasn't allowed Shikamaru to get close to Naruto. For the past year he's been trying, his friends have been a firm barrier between the two.

They might not talk to Naruto anymore, but it was clear who they were loyal to. He couldn't blame them.

The day Naruto left Konoha to go on a mission with his team, the distance between the two broke what little sanity was left in Shikamaru.

That was the day he looked his parents in the eye, and through tears, told them of his fixation.

×

NARUTO

The day his friendship with Shikamaru ended was the first day Naruto cried. According to his mother, he didn't cry when Uncle Jiraiya took him on a trip, nor when he fell for the first time, nor when he lost his first tooth, nor when his first frog died. Naruto, according to Kakashi, was a little walking sunshine and was synonymous with happiness. Naruto was proud to be one, to draw smiles on the faces of his family and on the faces of his friends.

He was proud of the privilege of being the only one who could throw himself on top of Nara Shikamaru without getting hit in the process, of being able to absorb the other's personal space and carry him around without any complaints in between. Naruto liked to think he was special to Shikamaru as Shikamaru was to him, and he would have been happy living that lie for the rest of his life.

But then Shikamaru told him what he had never told him before, and then everything broke and he cried all night in his mother's arms.

His father had looked at him and had decided to go to the Nara's house and demand an explanation for such strange and unexpected behavior, but Naruto had clutched his sleeve and begged him not to bother him anymore.

Naruto had pride. And no matter how much he loved Shikamaru, if he didn't want him around, then he wouldn't be there.

But he also had a right to cry, and he cried all weekend before facing a life without the one he believed would denifinitively be his other half.

Ino, Choji and Kiba were in front of his door first thing Monday morning, Naruto hugged them tightly and, under the perplexed gaze of the three of them, said. “Shikamaru is not to blame for anything. I think I've pushed his buttons long enough to set him off. You know him, I was pushing my luck by acting as if...”

Naruto smiles, a shaky smile. “Never mind. What I mean is, don't leave him alone. Shikamaru needs you guys. If I can't be with him, then keep him company yourselves. I...I'd really appreciate it if you'd be with him, please?”

Ino rushes over and hugs him. Kiba says he's going to miss him. It's a strange goodbye, but if Shikamaru didn't want to be around Naruto, Naruto wasn't going to force him to be with him because they shared the same circle of friends.

Shikamaru had arrived first. Naruto could be fine alone, Shikamaru couldn't. He knew him perfectly well.

Regardless, life works in strange ways.

Uchiha Sasuke sits next to him, Naruto looks at him as if he'd grown another head. “Oi.” He says, uninterested. “What about your Nara?”

Naruto purses his lips. If Sasuke was going to be a pain in the ass, then it was a thousand times better to sit somewhere else. Sasuke, however, eyes him carefully. “If he's not going to be glued to you, then does that mean I can train with you?”

“Excuse me?” Naruto says, blinking in disbelief. He could swear Sasuke hated him, he had told him so, even.

Sasuke looked at him like he was an idiot. Ouch. “Listen, Namikaze. I haven't found anyone interesting to train other than Itachi-nii san, and he's busy with much more important things. You, on the other hand, look like a recently abandoned puppy and I offer a genuine adoption in which we'll be mutually benefited. With the road clear without Nara attached to you, it's the perfect time for me. It's a win-win.”

Naruto looks at him with a raised eyebrow, Sasuke has insulted him in five different ways in a single moment, his face as nonchalant as ever. “You have a very strange way of saying you want to be friends with me, Teme.” Naruto smiled, cocking his head to the side. “You know, I thought you hated me.”

“I want to train with you, but if any interaction with another person is an invitation to a friendship, well, that's fine, dobe. Itachi's been saying I haven't brought any friends home. And having the first one be a Namikaze might give my uncle a stroke, which would make me very happy. Hey, do you want to go eat at my place today?”

“I want joint custody of the abandoned puppy.” Haruno Sakura interrupted, staring at them. “No offense, Naruto.”

“Guys, I'm not a dog.” Naruto said, glaring at them. “If you guys want to be friends, just say so.”

Neither of them press him to share the reason for the abrupt break in his friendship with Nara Shikamaru, though they occasionally give him inquisitive looks about it, never acting on their curiosity. Naruto appreciates and values it, and finds himself striking up a friendship with them.

Sakura is never going to be Ino, no matter how much they resemble each other and are both (to a greater or lesser extent, at some point in their lives, even if Sakura insists that this is no longer the case, even if she occasionally blushes when Sasuke is too close) in love with the Uchiha. But the girl has earned his trust and friendship.

Sasuke could never, under any circumstances, replace Shikamaru. Their friendship had blossomed under the stupefied gaze of their clans, the faint of his uncle, the satisfaction of his brothers and finally an agreement of total peace between the clans. No matter how close they were and how important Sasuke was to him, the affection he felt for him was different than the affection he felt for Shikamaru, and that wasn't about to change anytime soon.

Although his friend group was small, and he missed Choji and Kiba dearly, Hinata used to sometimes accompany them around the city, sometimes taking Shino with her.

No matter how much time passed, Naruto was always going to miss Shikamaru.

“Naruto.” His mother's voice brought him out of his thoughts, and he turned to look at her with a slight smile. “Is everything ready?”

“Almost.” Naruto said, closing the backpack and setting it down at the foot of his bed. “ Now it is.”

“I can't believe you're already old enough to go on your first mission alone.” Her voice cracked, Naruto snorted and went over to give her a hug.

“It doesn't count as a solo mission if Kakashi will be there obsessively watching me so nothing happens to me.” Naruto said, with a slight accusatory tone in his voice.

“Hey, it's not my fault.” She replied, with a playful tone. “Your brother planted himself in your father's office and wouldn't move until he made him promise he'd be your teacher. Speaking of which, someone did something very similar before...you definitely learned a lot from him.”

Naruto rolled his eyes. He knew that his mother still wouldn't accept that Shikamaru and he were no longer friends. Many times she had pushed him to seek him out and make amends, but Naruto's heart wasn't ready for another rejection. His mother might love Sakura and Sasuke dearly, but she had never treated them the way she treated Shikamaru. Sometimes, Naruto believed that his mother knew that Shikamaru was someone special to him.

Sometimes. Naruto doesn't want to think about it anymore.

×

SHIKAMARU

Naruto was also going to participate in the Chunin exams. The thought of fighting him before even speaking to him was unacceptable, but there was nothing he could do about it.

After the humiliating confession to his parents about his fixation, he had spent countless hours being scolded by his mother and convincing his father not to go to the Hokage's house and demand that Naruto be brought back to Konoha. Part of him desperately wanted him back, of course, but another part of him didn't want to make a fool of himself like that in front of Naruto's parents.

His father then had told him how dangerous the fixation could be if the bond weakened at all, if Naruto didn't come back, if Naruto....

The thought almost took his breath away.

Shikamaru needed Naruto like one needed the sun to live. Naruto was Shikamaru's sunshine.

He couldn't even remember what the real sky looked like, or what the grass under his feet smelled like.

Kami, he was dying in life.

Shikamaru hadn't seen Naruto since he returned from his mission until the day the exams were to begin. Naruto's unmistakable blond hair made Shikamaru's heart turned to stone (by stupid will) beat again. The closeness with Naruto brought him back to life. Naruto was there, Naruto existed.

Naruto was real.

Real, real, real, real, real....

Like his feelings for him.

Kohona is filled with aspirants eager to test their talents, and there are plenty of unfamiliar faces looking around with disdain, others with fear, and others with superiority.

There are quite a few stares turned on Naruto, much to his displeasure.

The first part of the exam is so simple that he can almost fall asleep, the instructor thinks no one knows, but Shikamaru immediately understands that he must put some effort into proving that he can get answers. In the end, he ends up making use of Ino's skills and, surprisingly, all of the Kohona aspirants end up passing the first test.

In the second test, then, everything is ruined.

There is an intruder among them and he is a traitor from Konoha. Shikamaru doesn't know all the information, he is wounded and trying to save Choji's life, but apparently Orochimaru is trying to kidnap Sasuke and Naruto.

Shikamaru needs all his mental strength not to run off in search of him. Desperation eating him up inside, anxiety tearing at his heart.

When they finish the test, Shikamaru makes his way through the chaos, through the world of ninjas trying to calm each other down, through frantic conversations and some wounded, it's almost inevitable that he pounces and clings as if his life depended on it to Hatake Kakashi, who looks at him somewhere between confused, surprised and angry.

“Naruto!” Shikamaru says, his voice shaking. “Where's Naruto?”

Hatake seems to contemplate whether to answer him or not, Shikamaru is ready to choke him with the shadows if necessary. It's clear the older one doesn't tolerate him, he doesn't blame him, he's earned it. “He's fine.” He replies, dryly. “There are no casualties, only wounded. Naruto is not one of them.”

Shikamaru feels as if a terrible weight has left his shoulders. Ignoring Hatake's questioning look, he turns and walks away in the direction of the medical area, where almost everyone is gathered. Shikamaru feels the air in his lungs when he sees Naruto sitting on a improvised examination table, holding a pale but conscious Uchiha Sasuke. The proximity between the two annoys him, but the sight of Naruto there, alive and breathing, is enough for him.

Apparently, the attack has been a failure, as much as the capture. Orochimaru has escaped without hostages, but ultimately he has fled. It is a losing battle for everyone.

Despite the events, the examinations do not stop. A select group of participants is announced to advance to the final part of the exam, and Shikamaru wants to get down on his knees and thank the heavens when he realizes that at least, for the first round, he doesn't have to face Naruto.

He faces a ninja from a neighboring village, and wins with prompt ease. Shikamaru stays to watch the rest of the fights out of mere boredom and lack of desire to walk more than necessary before Naruto's fight. Naruto, like him, wins the fight almost immediately.

The fights go by and time passes, and then Shikamaru is standing in front of Sasuke in the middle of the arena, and he feels like an idiot to think about whether Naruto is there to support him or Sasuke.

(Clearly it's Sasuke, Shikamaru is no one to Naruto anymore).

Shikamaru tries harder than necessary, behind every attack a greater motive was hidden. He wants to beat the Uchiha for stealing what he loves the most, even though it was he himself who handed it to him on a golden platter. Shikamaru wants to hurt him, to hurt him and....

Sasuke is too close to his face, and in a whisper, he tells him. “I'm no match for you.” His words take him by surprise and distract him, which makes him slip and fall to the ground. Sasuke sees him from above, and adds. “I mean it. It's different than what you think.”

Shikamaru considers his words carefully, before getting up and continuing the fight. After almost half an hour, Uchiha Sasuke looks at him carefully, before looking towards the stands and, in a clear voice, says. “I surrender.”

The rest of his teammates seem to be dumbfounded, but Itachi Uchiha watches everything with a satisfied smile on his face. Shikamaru shakes Sasuke's hand, who smiles sideways at him. “I have no interest in facing Orochimaru again. I'd rather retake the exam and live a little longer, you know?”

Sakura is furious with his decision, but Itachi welcomes his brother with a hug. Shikamaru resumes his place in the stands to watch the rest of the fights in total silence, even though his parents are practically crying from pride and Ino keeps talking about the celebration party.

Sakura ends up losing her fight against a Suna ninja, Temari.

In the end, almost all of the Konoha challengers have lost. The last battle is between Naruto and Sabaku no Gaara.

The fight is brutal. Shikamaru's mother practically wants to drag him out of the place, but he refuses to leave. He can't leave when Naruto can die at the hands of a savage like him. The damn jerk is a monster, and he mercilessly attacks Naruto, who responds with the same intensity.

Halfway through the fight, Naruto's anger-filled face gradually transforms to one of concern; Shikamaru hates that expression, because it means his heart has softened.

“Stop looking at me like that!” The monster exclaims, his face twitching in despair. “Fight, you coward!”

Naruto has been avoiding Gaara's blows, but hasn't attacked in a good while. “See you how?” he asks, because only Naruto would strike up a conversation with the one who might be his bloody murderer.

“Like you care.” He replies, his voice full of anger.

Naruto smiles at him. A real smile, Naruto's trademark smile. Shit, Shikamaru wants to cry.

“I do!” Naruto says, under everyone's stupefaction. “We are friends! We're a lot alike, don't you think? Come on, you don't really want to hurt me.”

“What do you know about understanding me!” Gaara exclaims, looking at him in disbelief. “You have it all, even though you were born like me, you would never understand me!”

His attacks become more brutal. Shikamaru is about to commit an act of betrayal and jump into the fight when finally, Kami, finally, Naruto seems to come to his senses and responds with conviction to the attacks. Naruto's chakra is as warm as he remembers, and Shikamaru feels at home.

Naruto wins the fight. The arena is a mess, Gaara is injured and immobile on the ground, almost as if he's lost consciousness. And, still, Naruto comes to his side. “We're friends. I mean it, Gaara.”

Shikamaru watches the exchange from a distance, and his heart stops for a second as he recognizes the hopeful look on the other's face.

Sasuke may not be a rival. But Sabaku no Gaara definitely is.

×

His suspicions, in the end, are correct.

Naruto has spent two days visiting Gaara in the hospital, and in that short, but torture-filled period of time, the redhead seems to have earned a place in Naruto's heart. Gaara leaves Konoha with his brothers, who now seem to look at him differently, with the promise of sharing letters with Naruto.

Shikamaru hates the idea. Naruto loves it. And, again, he can't go back to sleep.

The days become months and the missions more frequent. Neji's team has been sent as reinforcements to Suna after Orochimaru's attack on the village.

When they return, they come back with two news. Their Kazekage is dead, and Sabaku no Gaara has taken his place.

The pursuit of Orochimaru takes longer than necessary and his alliance with a terrorist group (the Akatsuki) makes his capture a more complicated one, but after three years of effort, finally Orochimaru is dead and Akatsuki has been destroyed.

Namikaze Naruto returns to Konoha as a hero, along with his team. The village seems to have determined at that point that they were looking at their next Kage, even if Minato still had energy and age to rule.

Shikamaru pretends not to pay attention to the mission report. His father has decided to drag him to his job to prepare him and leave everything in his hands as soon as he turned seventeen. Hatake Kakashi seems to hate being there too, and continues with the mission report in the same monotonous and boring voice as always.

When the meeting is about to end, however, Naruto clears his throat.

“I have something to report.” He says, nervously. Minato watches his son with interest, because it's rare to see a nervous Naruto. “It's...ah, something private. But it affects the...political position of Konoha, so...uhmmm.”

“Just tell them.” Sakura says, rolling her eyes.

“So...I've been sharing letters with Gaara, the, uhm, Kazekage.” Naruto says, pulling what appears to be one of the cards out of his pocket. “And, uhm, his last letter is before I left Kiri after Orochimaru's defeat. He...ah, he asked me to marry him? A marriage alliance. Uhm, to strengthen the bond between the villages. Uhm, he said that he loves me? And that, ah, this could benefit Konoha?”

The Hokage's face goes from anger to complete immobility, and Hakate Kakashi looks at the letter as if he wants to pulverize it with his eyes. He's sure that Kiba's father is the one exclaiming 'Who does he think he is to ask such a thing' and 'our next Kage!' Shikamaru isn't sane enough to recognize that all eyes are on him.

The chair he was sitting on is now broken, the hand rest shattered in his fist and scattered on the floor. Shikamaru is vibrating with anger. His father rushes to grab his shoulder and pull him out of the conference room before he murders someone.

The only one who will die is Sabaku no Gaara. If he does his calculations right, he would surely make it to Suna in three days, that's enough time to plan the perfect assassination, and it would be amazing if the fucker's blood painted the walls of his room....

“You're not going to kill the Kazekage.” His father says, Shikamaru challenges him with his eyes, realizing he's been talking out loud. “Shikamaru, remember who you are.”

“Precisely because of who I am I'm going to kill him.”

“No!” His father insists.

“Naruto is mine.”

“Naruto is not yours, Shikamaru.” His father says, gently. His words like daggers to the heart. “You decided this.”

“I...I...”

“Shika?”

Naruto's voice echoes in his ears. Shikamaru doesn't seem to realize that he has been trembling, kneeling in front of the doors of his clan like an abandoned child with his father hugging him on the side, until Naruto is standing in front of him as if it was yesterday when they shared a desk.

It has been five years, fourteen days and ten hours since Naruto last spoke to him, since he said his name, since he was at a distance where he could reach out and simply touch him.

Naruto is the sun. Naruto is Shikamaru's sun and having him near, feeling his warmth, is like finally being awakened from an icy sleep. Shikamaru is losing his mind as he reaches out and clings to the blond's legs, hugging them desperately as he repeats, over and over again.

“Stay with me, please. Stay with me.”

×

When he wakes up, he feels like he's really slept.

Shikamaru doesn't remember when he last felt fully rested, but his mind finally seems to connect with his body and he no longer looks at himself in third person. The shift in perception is disconcerting, as disconcerting as the weight at his side.

Almost in slow motion, Shikamaru looks to his left, where Naruto is sitting in a chair, hand entwined in his; body leaning over the bed and face on top of his chest, sleeping peacefully as if it hasn't been years since the last time.

Shikamaru squeezes his hand unintentionally, for if it is a dream then his mind has finally won and Shikamaru is dead.

But their grip grows stronger and then Naruto twitches, wakes up, blinks and finally those beautiful blue eyes are looking at him.

'Look at me, look at me, look at me, I'm yours....

“Shika.” He says, yawning. Shikamaru would give his arm just to hear his name come from those lips for the rest of his life.

“Mh.”

Naruto rolls his eyes, but doesn't let go of his hand. “Hey, for being in this position, it would be a little more helpful if you talked, you know, with words, don't you think?”

Shikamaru would like it better if he would just shut up and go back to sleep next to each other, preferably. But to get to that they had to talk, first.

Naruto looks at him expectantly. Shikamaru sighs. “What do you want to talk about?”

Naruto snorts. “I don't know, why not start with that I'm your fixation and you've been killing yourself internally for years, and you weren't planning on telling me? Or maybe, that you're a narcissistic idiot who thought he could live without his fixation? Your father has made it very clear to me how important it is to the Nara's. You're a jerk, Shikamaru.  Five years, bastard, five years! Did you plan on dying and never telling me the truth?”

Shikamasu nods. Naruto looks like he wants to suffocate him with his pillow. “I was wrong.”

“Oh, really?” he replies, sarcastically. “No kidding.”

“I was pissed.” Shikamaru says, feeling the words get stuck in his throat. “One day you showed up and changed my plans and my life and I didn't even realize you had done it. Suddenly I had lost control of my life and my heart belonged to someone else and I was scared, upset and annoyed. I refused to let it be decided for me, but I was an asshole, because I chose you myself from the beginning, I...” His voice was choppy, and he clutched Naruto's hand making sure it was real. “I always wanted to be with you. I regret every day when I wake up and go to bed the stupid words I said to you that day, in each and every one of my nightmares I go back to that day and murder myself in a hundred different ways. I was wrong, I regret it and Kami, I am not ready to see you marry someone else. I want to kill him and I want to die before I see someone else hold the light of my life in their arms...I...”

Shikamaru pauses, his throat burning.

“It's real.” He says, suddenly. His gaze frantically searching Naruto's. “My feelings for you are real, they're mine. They belong to me. They are not the product of shadows or demons that haunt my clan, they are not imposed decisions, it is my decision. Since that day I saw you sitting in my seat, and our eyes met, maybe that's where it all began. I was so afraid of losing myself like the rest of Naras that I ended up pushing my light and my sun away. But I need you, shit, I need you so much.”

Naruto contemplates him silently, cocking his head to the side. “This is the first time since I've known you that I've heard you talk so much.” Shikamaru is about to sigh and turn away from watching him leave when Naruto smiles. “We could have saved ourselves a hell of a lot of years apart if you had pulled your head out of your ass and told me the truth from the start. But it sounds like you've suffered too much in this time, so you're forgiven.” Shikamaru blinks, and Naruto interrupts him before he can speak. “To conclude. You're a jerk, I'd like to rectify the Nara's intelligence in the next academic books. Second, no, I'm not going to marry Gaara. And third, I love you.”

Shikamaru feels his heart pounding. “I love you too.” He finds himself saying.

“Cool.” Naruro says, caressing his hand. “It wasn't that hard, see?”

No, it wasn't.

Maybe Shikamaru really was an idiot.

X

NARUTO

The thing is, even if he and Shikamaru had the weird dynamic where everything could change with simple words, the rest of the people didn't react the same way. It's not their life, shit, but he understands where their concern is coming from.

First, his mother raises her arms in the air in victory, delighted with the idea; a totally opposite reaction to his father, who seems to be on the verge of a mental breakdown ever since Naruto showed Gaara's marriage proposal. Kakashi has a similar reaction, refraining from comments that weren't necessary to know what he was thinking, because his face said it all.

"Five years, Naruto." Sasuke said, with a cup of tea in his hand and a piece of bread in the other. "You can't act like five years hasn't happened."

Sakura nods at his side, a distraught expression. “Well, Naruto hasn't...exactly been unaware of Shikamaru during this time.” Sasuke gives her an accusatory look. Betrayed. "It's the truth! Come on, Sasuke, ever since the chunnin exams Naruto has been one step away from banging Shikamaru and demand that he stops being a jerk."

Since before. Since he was ten years old. But Sakura doesn't know that, and Naruto doesn't plan to tell her either.

Surprisingly, of the two, Sasuke is the more annoyed with the outcome. Even though he's the one who tells him after his fight with Shikamaru during the exams that 'You and Nara are idiots. Complete idiots in love and blind'. Naruto ends up pestering Sasuke until the other explains, almost looking at Naruto as a hopeless case, that it was obvious to anyone with eyes that Nara Shikamaru was stupidly in love with him.

And yet, the other seemed firmly determined to ignore Naruto's existence; even though he was always in a corner when he returned from a mission, even though he always visited him in the hospital when Naruto pretended to sleep, even though his shadow always seemed to follow Naruto closely.

Shikamaru wasn't getting close, Naruto wasn't getting close either. It was only a matter of time before his friends got fed up.

"What will you tell Gaara?" Sakura asks, softly.

Naruto plays with the edge of his cup. Gaara.

Gaara was definitely important to Naruto, but he was important like Sakura and Sasuke, like Itachi, maybe. It was a strange concept to think of him romantically, when in his heart only Shikamaru has lived. Plus, the connection to Gaara (parallels, a life that could have been his if his parents didn't live, if his village hated him, if Kakashi didn't love him. A life as the vessel of a Bijuu) was a special connection, but Naruto saw him more as a kind of brother, a companion, a great friend.

He would like to say that his confession takes him by surprise, but it doesn't. Naruto wasn't oblivious to the redhead's hopeful looks, to his brothers' awkward attempts to create the right atmosphere for something to happen, to the absurd ANBU guard that followed him everywhere he went when he visited Suna. Naruto had hopes that it would be temporary, that he wouldn't have to look him in the eye and break his heart.

Naruto knows how much it hurts. Naruto doesn't want to do it.

"Tell him the truth." Naruto replies, his tea now cold, as cold as the letter tucked away in his drawer.

"Ow." Sakura says, her face twisted in sadness. A slight pout on her lips. "Poor Gaara."

Sasuke refrains from commenting.

Late in the evening, Naruto leaves the Uchiha house after staying for dinner. After years of treating the house as his own, Itachi's still and solitary presence at the door causes him neither surprise nor fear.

Naruto directs a smile at what he considers another of his older brothers, and Itachi smiles back, though it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Do you mind if I escort you home? I've told Kakashi I'll be your escort, if you don't mind. I need some fresh air."

The question is a charade, regardless of his answer Itachi will accompany him. Naruto merely nods, walking slowly in the company of the elder Uchiha.

“For a while, I thought we could be family.”

Naruto pauses for a moment, before resuming his steps. "Itachi, we are family. You're like a brother to me."

"I could have been a real brother, too."

Naruto turns to look at him, Itachi still looking straight ahead, hands in his pants pockets, his face in a grieving expression. Naruto really doesn't want to have that conversation.

"Itachi..."

"You know what I mean, Naruto. You're not blind, you just have a big heart. And no matter how much you avoid it, at some point someone will get hurt." Itachi says, softly. "You'll never hear it from my little brother's mouth, and he probably won't ever acknowledge it either. But you were for a long time the owner of his heart. I won't lie and say that I didn't wish for you to choose him, even though Sakura has always been my mother's favorite...I, I only wish for his happiness." Itachi paused for a second, to hug Naruto for a moment. "I hope you know what you're doing, and that Nara knows how lucky he is. Contrary to what you may think now, I wish for your happiness too, Naruto."

Itachi sends him off by touching his forehead and Kakashi greets him with a hug. Naruto can't help but feel that, in a way, the dynamic in the Uchiha household will change a bit. Kakashi doesn't ask questions, Naruto appreciates it.

That day he goes to bed after writing a letter he can't put off any longer.

You can't help but break a heart.

Shikamaru is at the door of his house the next morning.

His face looks less gloomy, definitely less pale, and even if he had the same dull expression as always; in his eyes is reflected love and adoration when Naruto is in front of him.

Kakashi follows close behind them, a suffocating and oppressive presence that Shikamaru decides to ignore in favor of holding Naruto's hand between his own.

Some villagers look at them, blink and smile in relief. Teuchi makes a fuss from the doors of his restaurant, waving his hand back and forth 'That's it, Naruto! You finally got your Nara back!' Ayame holds his arm, cheeks flushed, but also exclaiming 'How cute, Shikamaru!'

Naruto laughs at Shikamaru's embarrassed expression, and can feel how the other seems to vibrate with happiness at the sound.

It's something almost incomprehensible how Naruto and Shikamaru seem to gravitate around each other, how natural it is to have his hand intertwined with his, to feel his arm slip around his waist, how he steals a kiss as if he's been doing it all his life; Shikamaru's shadow seems delighted to be glued to Naruto, and Naruto....

He finally feels complete.

Ino interrupts them, fresh from a mission, with Choji following close behind. The blonde is looking at them dumbfounded and betrayed, before directing endless insults and questioning at them and ‘If you were going to come crawling back to Naruto in the end you wouldn't have done your drama in the first place’ and 'Oh Naruto I have so much to tell you you won't believe what Kiba...'

Shikamaru takes him by the arm and they disappear together into the shadows, and then they are surrounded by trees, deer and a shower of kisses where time doesn't pass and only the two of them exist.

Chapter Text

“I don't know if I'm surprised or disgusted.” Sasuke says, staring at Naruto with one eyebrow raised, his arms firmly crossed in a hostile stance.

Sakura laughs nervously. “Well, personally, I find it deeply romantic.” Her tone, full of conviction and excitement, dies suddenly at Sasuke’s not-so-subtle clearing of his throat, prompting her to sigh and add, “Maybe a little creepy, too.”

“Just a little?”

“Guys.” Naruto interrupts, bringing his hand to his face and pressing his fingers to his temple, almost feeling the headache coming on. “Enough, it’s not a big deal.” 

“You must be joking.” Sasuke shakes his head in disbelief, making exaggerated gestures with his hands toward the object of his distress, right in front of them. “It’s a fucking house, Naruto.”

Naruto flinches subtly, nervously looking away from the large, opulent, colorful, and beautiful house. “Well, what's wrong with it?”

Sasuke frowned. “You're thinking too much with your heart.” Pausing, a look of disgust filled his face. “Or with your ass. I don't know which is worse, if you ask me.”

Sakura pokes Sasuke's arm, who turns to look at her indignantly, a look that the girl ignores with complete naturalness. “What Sasuke means, in less violent words, is that it's a gift that's a little... surprising. Unexpected. A little too much, perhaps.” Naruto opens his mouth to begin what Sakura is sure will be a very long, emotional defense. She raises her hand right in front of Naruto's nose, preventing even a sound from coming out of his mouth. “But it's Nara Shikamaru we're talking about, for God's sake. He hasn't built, conquered, or named a village after him because technically Naruto is already the heir to one. It doesn't sound so far-fetched once you think about who the gift is coming from.”

“They've been dating for two months,” Sasuke says, a little more softly. “I can count on my fingers, and still have some left over, the number of times I've seen them together. Sorry if I'm surprised that he's suddenly given him a house.”

Naruto looks away from his friends, his eyes focusing on the keys in his hands.

In a way, Sasuke is right.

Despite the freshness of their relationship, and even with their fixation, Naruto and Shikamaru are still ninjas on duty. They have a duty to the village, and although Naruto knows that they would both like to spend much more time together, they cannot go against the Hokage's orders.

Naruto has already made the mistake of mixing the personal with the professional, and even though his father loves him deeply, he will not bend to his whims. That doesn't mean he hasn't tried. He spent an entire afternoon begging to be sent on the same mission as Shikamaru, and the answer he received was the same as always: a complete rejection. For a brief moment, Naruto felt such despair that he thought, fleetingly, that his father was deliberately separating him from Shikamaru.

His thoughts were dismissed almost immediately when the voice of the man in front of him changed from that of a Hokage to that of a father. His explanation was convincing and correct, even though it hurt to admit it: it was a mission too important, and they couldn't risk its success by sending both of them when they didn't know if having Naruto around Shikamaru in a hostile environment where he could easily be hurt would do more harm than good, without any precedent for how he would react. This is not the time to subject them to theories of compatibility in battle, and Shikamaru cannot work with Naruto as a distraction.

It's the same explanation Naruto gives Shikamaru that night, one day before he leaves on his mission. Naruto is sad and heartbroken, and Shikamaru simply listens to him with a completely neutral expression; despite his apparent calmness, his hand is clenched into a tight fist, wrinkling the edge of Naruto's shirt.

For two months, Naruto and Shikamaru have met in the village about six times, and their encounters have been short and fleeting. A hesitant hug here, the brush of a kiss before leaving again, a date ruined because Ino and Sakura found them eating on the outskirts of the village and ended up sharing lunchtime with the rest of their former class from the academy.

Receiving a set of keys with a note just as Shikamaru walks through the village gates is unexpected, seeing him leave for the Hokage's office without saying anything else is also unexpected.

And now he's outside the address written on that piece of paper, and Naruto has no idea what the hell it means.

Damn the Nara's and their poor sense of communication.

Sakura has said goodbye to them, claiming she can't waste any more time when she should be preparing for her upcoming medical specialist exam, leaving them alone outside the silent house. Naruto closes his eyes in anticipation of what will probably be the scolding of the century.

Instead, Sasuke's soft voice interrupts his thoughts. “It's not that I don't think it's a nice gesture. It is, I think. A little extravagant for my taste, but that's not my business.” Sasuke presses his lips together, a complicated expression adorning his pale face. "It's just that it's too sudden, too soon, and without explanation. I can't help but think that under other circumstances, this would be a masterpiece of manipulation. Something like, ‘Hey, I can't be with you right now, but I have this pile of money, so you can't leave me.’ I know it sounds stupid, okay? It's not that I don't trust Nara, to be honest. But I'd hate to see you suffer again because of him, or something like that."

“Shikamaru isn't going to hurt me, Sasuke.”

Sasuke was silent, looking away. "You have a disgustingly big heart, Naruto. And I'm a distrustful piece of shit, so you can't blame me for having my reservations. I care about you, you idiot. That's what I'm trying to tell you, and I'm sure Kakashi will think the same thing I do, but he's a coward when it comes to you, and he's not going to say anything because he never does." Sasuke stared at him. “I just hope he doesn't make up for his absence by showering you with gifts. I've seen it before, sometimes, with my uncles' wives. I wouldn't want you to wake up fifty years from now, or ten, or tomorrow, and realize you're not happy with him.”

Sasuke's words are full of concern, his tone of voice a little rough and his body tense, as if he expects Naruto to react in the worst possible way. That makes him smile slightly, because even though the black-haired boy isn't used to sentimentality, he seems to be fighting with himself to make sure Naruto is okay.

“Everything's fine,” Naruto says, smiling genuinely. “Shikamaru makes me very happy, even though I don't fully understand this gift, I know it's not a bad thing.” 

Sasuke nods, losing some of his initial hostility, and looks away pridefully.  Naruto feels terrible for poor Sakura and how much she's going to  struggle dealing with an emotionally constipated Sasuke.

Naruto has to talk to Itachi seriously, and soon, or else Sasuke will never realize that he's been having feelings for Sakura for a year, and that will condemn him to see her marry someone with more guts than him.

 Naruto feels it before he sees it. The cold night air stops brushing against his bare arms, and the warmth of a subtle shadow envelops him. Almost immediately, Shikamaru is beside him.

Naruto turns his face to give him his best smile. Shikamaru doesn't smile back, nor does he hug him, but his gaze softens, the corners of his lips stretch subtly upward, and the touch of a phantom kiss is placed on his forehead. There is nothing else different about his expression, but Naruto knows almost instinctively that Shikamaru is happy.

“Uchiha.” Shikamaru says, his voice bored and full of indifference, but he bows his head briefly in greeting. Sasuke grimaces, but returns the courtesy.

“Nara.” He crosses his arms before continuing the conversation. “What a surprise.”

“Oh?”

“I thought you'd be back on your mission by now,” Sasuke says as an explanation.

Shikamaru blinks. “I finished my mission.”

Naruto quickly hangs onto Shikamaru, his cheeks flushed with excitement. “Wow! Why didn't you say so before? I could have prepared dinner for the two of us, you idiot! Oh, but you must be tired, right? Really, Shikamaru, if you had told me in advance, I could have even convinced my father and Kakashi to let you stay the night. My mother would surely have joined in my attempts.”

Shikamaru simply puts his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his feet. A fleeting mischievous look crosses his face before he responds. “I hurried to report to the Hokage. The faster I did it, the sooner I'd be free.” Glancing sideways at Sasuke, he says, “Don't you want to go in and see?”

Naruto would rather have answers to a myriad of questions surrounding the topic of conversation that Shikamaru is treating with complete supernatural nonchalance. But he knows Shikamaru, so he ends up saying, “Sure, why not?”

Shikamaru takes that moment to look at Sasuke. “If you're done trying to paint me as the devil in my boyfriend's eyes, I suggest you leave. Naruto is busy, Shoo.”

Naruto thinks that will make the black-haired boy explode, but instead, he responds with a mocking laugh. "Relax, Nara. There's nothing interesting to me in the treasure you guard so jealously.“ Sasuke makes a dismissive gesture with his hand, turning away. ”I hate you on principle alone; you're my best friend's boyfriend. Naturally, I despise you. Take it as a sign that I accept you, for now, at least. One false move and I'll be the first to bring Gaara so you can know despair. Oh, your face! Just kidding, Nara, you know?"

Sasuke leaves laughing, Shikamaru mutters. “One day I'm going to wipe the floor with his ugly, annoying ass.”

“Hey,” Naruto says, poking Shikamaru's stomach. “I'm the only one who can wipe the floor with Sasuke. And Itachi.”

Shikamaru looks up at him. “Mm.”

“You know he's not all bad.” Naruto says, a crooked smile on his face.

“I'm sure he'd like to be in my place,” Shikamaru says, guiding Naruto into the garden. “Him and half the damn village. Fuck.”

Naruto smiles softly, shaking his head. “It's not like that, Shika. Believe me. Sasuke and I are just best friends.”

Shikamaru rolls his eyes and makes sure to put the key back in its place, but he doesn't open the door. “Well, it would help a little if he didn't try to discredit my feelings for you every chance he gets.”

“He's just worried.”

“Are you sure?”

Naruto is starting to feel a little annoyed by the direction of the conversation, and he doesn't want to start an argument so quickly, but they haven't seen each other in weeks and...

Naruto blinks, his mind clearing immediately. Turning around, he brings both hands to Shikamaru's face, making him stare at him intently. He simply caresses his cheeks lightly, losing himself in those dark eyes that seem to lighten with every second Naruto touches him. Bringing his face closer, Naruto kisses him slowly and gently, making sure never to lose contact, that with every movement of his fingers on the soft skin of his cheek, a silent declaration of love is spoken.

When he breaks the kiss, Naruto feels like an idiot for not noticing it before. Shikamaru is visibly calmer, less tense, more lucid. It breaks his heart a little to see the open vulnerability he shows him, there, at the door of a fucking house that he has no idea what it means, but he can imagine, fuck, he's not that clueless.

“Better?” Naruto says, quietly, a small smile on his face.

Shikamaru keeps his gaze fixed on his lips, a longing sigh escapes him, and his expression softens even more. “Yes.” He admits, bringing his hand to where Naruto is touching his face, intertwining their fingers. "I'm sorry, it's just... I haven't seen you in four weeks. And the week before that, Ino and Sakura interrupted our date, and you're here all the time with other people and...“ His voice trails off, a brief look of panic accompanying it. ”I'm terrified that you might change your mind. No one wants us to go on missions together. They think it would kill us both. The worst part is that I know it's true, I'd probably go crazy if something happened to you, and it's not that I don't think you can defend yourself, I know you're more than capable of doing so, and you have your protector with you, but I can't guarantee that I wouldn't lose control, and that's reason enough not to team up with you. My father knows it, your father knows it, the council knows it.“ His gaze becomes ashamed, hesitant. ”But it drives me crazy to think that I haven't had enough time to prove my love to you. I'm an important pawn for this village, I'll probably end up playing the same diplomatic role as my father and have to come and go constantly. And you are... you. You attract people just by being you, what if you find someone else? I couldn't breathe just thinking about it, so..."

Naruto took advantage of the brief silence to continue Shikamaru's words. “So... you bought me a house.”

Shikamaru closed his eyes, regaining some dignity. “I bought you a house.”

Naruto nodded, letting go of Shikamaru's hand and placing his hands on either side of his waist. “You know, that doesn't really tell me anything. You'll have to be more specific.”

Shikamaru glared at him. “Fine.” He said, finally opening the door. “I asked your father for permission to marry you. It was the most glorious torture session of my life. I bought you a house, so I really hope your answer is yes.”

Naruto raised an eyebrow, looking at the dark interior of the house. “This is the worst marriage proposal ever. Romance is dead. I expected better, Shikamaru. You're lucky you're handsome, otherwise I would have kicked your ass all the way to your family's forest.”

“It would have been better if Uchiha had shut his mouth for once in his life.” Shikamaru complained, turning on the light. “Believe it or not, I had something romantic planned. Really. And that bastard was supposed to help, not make me angry.” Shikamaru walked through the house until he was in the hall.

Naruto opened his mouth wide, staring at the heart-shaped balloons on either side of the windows, the bright, orange, flashy sign in giant letters that read 'Congratulations, kiddos!', and both families wearing party hats looking at them hesitantly. Kakashi blew a cornet, breaking the silence, causing his mother to hit him on the arm.

“Something romantic. I told you.” Shikamaru explained, his cheeks flushed and looking away.

 “Well, I thought it was a very romantic confession, the one you had in the garden.” 

“Mom!” Naruto exclaimed, scandalized and embarrassed.

“You weren't exactly being quiet,” Shikaku admitted.

“This is the worst,” Naruto said, looking at the table with various ramen dishes at his disposal. “I expect a hundred times better marriage proposal tomorrow, Shikamaru.”

“Oh,” Shikamaru said, visibly sad.

Naruto rolled his eyes. “I thought I was clear when I said you were lucky to be handsome. Obviously, I accept to marry you, the answer won't change. We can have the celebration today, but tomorrow you'll have to ask me again. Properly. In the middle of the fucking street, if you want. I'll pretend I know absolutely nothing, okay?”