Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The crunch of the vegetables under her sharp knife as she prepped her station for the night kept her distracted. Enough. Sweltering heat hadn’t filled the kitchen yet and the ticket printer was quiet for now. Terry was giving the servers a briefing before they opened up for dinner, while Joey made sure Nico and Pickles had their stations prepped properly. Every chop of the knife slowly gained speed as Ruby stole glances at the floor through the window on the swinging door.

Brad leaned into Nicole and whispered in her ear. She let out her usual laugh and slapped his arm as she mouthed stop it with a roll of her dark brown eyes. A warm bubble of jealousy filled Ruby’s stomach as the blonde smiled and tossed her perfectly curled hair over her shoulders. Her long lashes fluttering at Brad, who was leaning back in the booth spreading himself out. Disgusted, she rolled her eyes and focused on her station.

“Ruby,” Joey called out.

“Yes, chef.”

“Go check up front and see how many we got on the books tonight.” He was starting to work through his own prep list.

Ruby looked at him confused, “She’s your girlfriend, don’t you want to go to the host stand?”

Joey rolled his eyes, “Just do it.”

Normally, it wouldn’t be an issue. In fact, most of the time she was checking the books without being asked. But Nicole was laying it on thick tonight. And she was not in the mood. Ruby set down her knife and swung the door open. Her eyes flicked to Nicole and Brad in the booth. Nicole’s gaze was glued to her as she walked over to Amber.

“Hey, mind if I check this?” Ruby gestured to the iPad Amber was tapping away at, dragging names to tables.

“Oh, yeah,” Her tone was sharper than usual. Ruby guessed her and Chef were fighting again. She turned the iPad around on its stand.

Amber leaned back into the stool and crossed her arms. She had her hair pulled into two small buns resting low on her head. She was pretty, Ruby’s always thought that. Her pouty lips and high nose suited her. The way her bright blonde hair framed her face brightened her up beautifully.

“Your hair looks good today,” A small smile formed on her lips as she rested her elbows on the stand and flicked through the reservations.

A red hue quickly spread on her cheeks as she looked down, picking at the skin around her nails, a smile painted on her mouth, “Thank you, Ruby. Joey said it looked childish.”

How she tolerated it, nobody understood. Ruby rolled her eyes, leaned forward, and stared into Amber’s deep blues, making sure to scan her face, “Fuck him. You’re beautiful.”

After lingering for a moment, she stood up and walked back to the kitchen. Nicole was staring, she could feel her presence burning her skin like the sun.

“God, flirt much?” Nicole half jokingly yelled out as she walked past them. A small laugh came from the group and Ruby just turned around, opening the swinging door to the kitchen with her back. Nicole was joking. She had to be.

Anger built up in Ruby’s chest as the blonde girl ran her perfectly manicured nails along Brad’s knee, “Should say the same for you.” Ruby winked as the kitchen door swung shut in front of her. Ruby heard the muffled sound of the servers all teasing each other, especially Nicole.

Nicole was a shameless flirt, always batting her lashes for extra fries from Nico, or asking Brad, Aaron, or Trick to do her side work so she could go home early. Trick was always an easy ask, he wanted any experience to prove his dad wrong.

She had the whole staff practically wrapped around her finger, minus Joey and Terry. They always saw right through her bullshit. Joey and Nicole were two sides of the same coin. And Terry was just Terry. But everyone else loved Nicole.

She was beautiful. Her big brown eyes drew you in first. Her sharp tongue would drive any sane person away, yet she always did it with such a charm that it made up for her rudeness. Nicole always had her nose in everyone’s business. Maybe people were just scared of her. But Ruby guessed it was infatuation.

That’s what she told herself at least. That she was just infatuated with Nicole. The way her curls bounced as she walked out on the floor. Her wit and ability to stand up for herself. The way she looked Ruby up and down. Their banter.

The way she kissed her in the walk in at the holiday party.

Ruby and Nicole hooked up a few times after that. They had a few really good nights but it quickly dissipated. Ruby tried to let it go.

But it still burned like fire in the pit of her stomach.

Brad and Nicole were no secret, though. Word gets around in restaurants. Not long after she started, Ruby had walked in on them making out in the storage closet. Even the memory crossing her mind caused an involuntary reaction from her. Ruby had no idea what their label was, but she prayed it was nothing more than late night booty calls and sexts.

Ruby doubted it, though. Brad practically kissed the ground Nicole walked on. His eyes glowed when she pushed the hair falling in his eyes back. Or when she would laugh at his awful jokes and touch his arm. Ruby could almost see him try and flex his biceps. It was pathetic. But she couldn’t blame him, Nicole was amazing in every way, especially in bed.

Sometimes she thought about asking Bridgette or Amber about them, but she didn’t want to ruin any friendship she had left with Nicole.

“Got about 90 heads on books tonight,” Ruby hollered out as she snaked around the expo table back to her station.

“90? Damn that’s high for a Wednesday night,” Nico replied.

“Biggest party is an 8-top so it’ll hopefully be okay.”

Tickets started to roll in as they slung dishes, Joey called out orders, Ruby garnished and expo’d dishes before placing them under the heat lamp, ready to be run out. The servers were in and out asking for changes, asking questions about the menu they should already know, and running food. Joey and Nicole got into it at some point, but that was nothing new.

Nicole had been curling her lips into a smile with a sarcastic flirty comment pointed at Ruby. She tried her best to ignore it. To ignore Nicole. But ignoring her was like trying to ignore a tornado ripping through your house.

“Rubyyy,” She drawled out as the dinner rush subsided. “What’s wrong?”

The redhead flipped a steak over on the grill, “Nothing, damn. What’s wrong with you?”

She picked up the bowl of fries that Nico had given her, and popped one into her mouth,“You haven’t talked to me much today.”

Ruby caught a glance of her stare, Nicole had her usual smirk on her lips. She could tell something was off. Nicole was egging her on. Probably looking for something from her. Not in the mood, Ruby plated the steak and its sides, garnishing with their herbed butter and parsley. She set the plate down on the table, in front of Nicole, her hands resting on the metal. “Table thirty, med-rare. Why don’t you do your fucking job and run it.”

Nicole scoffed and picked up the plate before turning on her heels and walking out of the kitchen with a huff.

Ruby called out, “I’m going on break.” She unbuttoned her coat and walked out the back door into the alley. She felt around her pockets for her pack of cigarettes and lighter, bringing one to her lips as she leaned against the cool brick. Her hands shook. The lack of food in her stomach combined with the interaction with Nicole left her feeling slightly dazed.

Ruby had no clue why the blonde had been eating away at her insides. She’d always been the jealous type, but Nicole was never hers to be jealous of. They hooked up once or twice. She’d never been this weird about a fuck buddy before.

But it wasn’t just anybody. It was Nicole. Sweet, sarcastic, no-shit Nicole.

She wanted nothing more than to have her in her bed again. The way she touched Brad ignited her stomach with a sick jealousy she wished she could throw up. Her heart ached when Nicole playfully flirted with her, hoping one day it would be genuine. ‘Work wife’ was the label they’d put on the relationship, but Ruby’s heart yearned for more. She would get on her hands and knees and kiss the kitchen floor if it meant she could be with Nicole.

The door swung open and snapped shut as someone walked into the alley, staring at Ruby. She didn’t acknowledge her, just brought the cigarette to her lips for another puff. There was a lingering silence before the other voice broke it, “What the fuck was that about?”

Ruby kept her eyes focused on the broken glass and pebbles by her feet, “What? You get to talk to everyone like that but I can’t?”

“You meant that shit,” Nicole spat. She took a step closer to Ruby. “What the fuck is your problem?” Her voice was filled with hurt.

Ruby met her eyes and took a step closer to her, “You’re putting on a goddamn show tonight, princess. You know exactly what you’re doing.”

Nicole’s shoulders folded in on themselves as she scoffed, looking around the alley for backup that wasn’t there, “I…don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re just mad because I noticed you’re flirting with Amber.”

Ruby’s eyes rolled back involuntarily, “Says the girl who’s practically humping Brad on the booth. Go cry to him about it if you actually have a problem, but leave me out of it.” The cigarette dropped from between her fingers to the concrete and she stomped it out.

Nicole’s eyes narrowed as Ruby walked around her back to the kitchen. Her hand was on the knob when Nicole laughed. “Oh my God, no way. Is this about Brad? He’s not my boyfriend or anything.”

Ruby whipped her head back around, “Yeah but I see you getting in his car every night. How quickly your clothes come off the second you think nobody’s looking. The way you sneak off during a break,” Ruby’s chest heaved as she walked over to the blonde, “God, Nicole it’s so fucking obvious.”

Big brown doe eyes looked up at her, “Why do you care so much?”

Her chest tightened, her stomach formed knots, “It’s fucking annoying.”

“You take the whole work wife thing seriously, don’t you?”Nicole stepped closer, their stomachs about to touch. There was a hint of enjoyment in her voice.

Ruby couldn’t help her eyes glancing down at the blonde’s glossy lips. She muttered, “Yeah. Something like that.” Quickly, the gravel crunched under her boot as she turned around and flung the door open, leaving Nicole alone in the alley.

Luckily, The rest of dinner was uneventful. Ruby was on the schedule to close the kitchen. She scrubbed every surface down and mopped the tile floors until everything looked clean. The squeak of the stainless steel as the sponge furiously moved across the surface made Ruby’s eye twitch.

She grabbed her bag and threw it over her head, fishing the keys out of the zipper. After checking the floor to make sure Bridgette had left, she walked out of the back door, clicking the lock behind her.

The yellow light of the alley calmed her eyes after being under bright lights the whole shift. Ruby took her bandana off and shoved it in her pocket as she ran her fingers through her hair. She walked to the back parking lot towards her car when she saw them in the hazy light.

Pushed up against Brad’s car was Nicole, his hands under her shirt. His lips were on her neck, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. Ruby felt her stomach drop to her feet but she tried to ignore it. Nicole made eye contact with Ruby as she opened her mouth and uttered soft moans. Ruby rolled her eyes and got inside her car, slamming the door shut, and honking at them as she left the lot.

Nicole’s eyes followed her the entire time she left the parking lot. In her rear view mirror she saw her climb in the car with Brad. Ruby almost felt sick. Angry. Jealous. She turned the music in her car all the way up and rolled down the windows as she sped into the night.

—————————————————————

As badly as she wanted to forget, Ruby had the schedule memorized. Specifically the days Nicole was working. The way they aligned with hers. She knew better than to expect her on a Monday night. As she says, that’s her ‘couch night’.

So when Nicole didn’t come in that night, Ruby started to worry. It was Thursday, Nicole was on the schedule. Zooming in on the spreadsheet Terry sent the group chat, she scanned the row. Maybe her eyes were playing tricks on her. But she knew they weren’t. The back door opened and the bright light blinded her for a moment. A flicker of hope was quickly blown out as Bridgette walked in instead, waving to everyone.

Confused, Ruby set her knife down after finishing her prep and walked out of the kitchen and looked around for Brad. He was filling up water pitchers at the fountain when she approached him, “Where’s Nicole? This is her shift.”

Brad didn’t so much as look at her, “Why should I know?”

“Cut the crap, asshole. You know I saw you last night. She went home with you, did she not?”

“Now Ruby,” Brad looked at her as he raised his eyebrows and lowered his voice, “I don’t kiss and tell.” He winked at her.

Ruby rolled her eyes so hard she thought they’d get stuck backwards, “Dude. She got in your car. Where is she?”

Brad swallowed and took a step towards Ruby, “She said she didn’t feel well and made me drive her home. But—“

“Thanks,” She turned on her toes before he could finish and walked over to Bridgette who was setting her tables with rolls of silverware.

“Hey Ruby! How are you?” Bridgette hummed out.

Ruby smiled and leaned against the wall by the row of tables, “Good. Good. How are you?”

She moved to the next table, “Eh, fine. It was supposed to be my night off but Nicole said she woke up puking or something. She Venmo’d me $50 to take the shift. Plus, I need the money.”

Ruby doubted Nicole was sick. She probably just didn’t want to see her. Which, she couldn’t blame her for. Ruby wanted nothing more than to see Nicole. Yet, she wouldn’t be surprised if Nicole didn’t talk to her again.

“Did you need something?”

Ruby smiled at Bridgette, whose freckled apple cheeks smiled back at her, “No…no I was just checking in. Didn’t expect to see you in tonight.”

The other redhead nodded as Ruby walked back to the kitchen, a ball of lead forming in her stomach. Brad and her locked eyes as she flung the door open with a huff. Part of her hoped Nicole was actually sick and not avoiding her. But, if she knew Nicole, it was the latter.

Avoidance was Nicole’s most toxic trait by a mile. She avoided her side work, customers she hated. She avoided Terry’s write-ups and Nico’s advances.

And she avoided Ruby’s texts seeing if she wanted to hang out. Nicole would change the topic or ignore the texts for days. Nicole failed to tell her that she was hooking up with Brad again. Ruby heard through the whispers of the staff. She avoided Ruby when she asked if they could talk about it. The day after Ruby saw her in Brad’s car.

Nicole avoided the truth.

So Ruby avoided her.

At least, she wanted to. She tried. But Nicole’s gravity pulled her into her orbit every time Ruby tried to push away. She was able to go on like everything was fine and nothing happened. A skill Ruby lacked. Every part of her wanted nothing more than to be cool about it. To forget about it and move on. She’d found other pretty blondes and took them home. Nothing ever came close to Nicole. Nothing will.

Dinner was a distraction. Nothing but searing steaks and chicken, and taking her frustrations out on innocent vegetables. The haze of the flames and steam filled the room. Ruby was smiling and laughing, hoping it would take her mind off of the blonde. It never did.

At one point Brad came in and started talking to Pickles and Nico when Joey had stepped out for his break.

Nico looked around cautiously, “Yo dude, you still doin’ Nicole?”

Ruby’s eyes flicked up to Brad’s—who was already staring at her with a smile—before going back to focus on her knife. Dinner was slow.

“Oh dude, am I,” Brad laughed.

“You should know. You’re the one doing it,” Pickles said, confused.

Brad looked at him, eyebrows furrowed, “Yeah, Pickles, we’re fucking,” He looked back at Nico, “Hard.”

A wave of nauseous jealousy wreaked upon Ruby’s body as her knife picked up speed.

Nico giggled, “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. Just last night, she was pressed up against my Benz before practically begging me for it.” Brad leaned against the counter.

Her knife got faster.

“Took back to my place and…you know. All night, boys!” The three laughed.

Ruby didn’t. Faster.

“Yeah, that’s why she isn’t here today. Fucked her too hard last night.” Brad’s fucking smug face made Ruby sick.

The tip of the sharp metal sunk into Ruby’s finger, drawing blood instantly. “FUCK!” She shouted, grabbing a towel. Anger in her steps, she marched over to the first aid kit. Through gritted teeth, she sanitized the cut which sizzled when the peroxide entered. She wrapped the gauze around her finger before tearing it with her teeth.  

Brad rushed over, “Are you okay?”

Ruby whipped around, shoving her unwounded hand in his chest, she pushed him against the wall. “You motherfucking bullshitting ass bitch ! You told me she didn’t feel good so you dropped her off. You’re such a goddamn liar . I don’t even know what she sees in you.”

Brad shoved Ruby off of him, “Get the fuck off of me you freak. Why do you even care who she fucks with? Okay, I didn’t take her home last night,” He got close to her face. “But every other night? Oh yeah.”

A searing heat blinded Ruby as she shoved Brad again before Nico pulled her back. Terry barged in, his eyes wide, “What the hell’s going on in here?”

“Ruby attacked Brad!” Pickles shouted, which made her even angrier. Ruby yanked her arms from Nico’s grip, her cut finger already sore.

“Ruby. My office. NOW !” Ruby stomped into Terry’s office and he slammed the door, “You wanna tell me what the sam hell’s going on?” His southern drawl almost made it hard to take him seriously.

“Brad was being perverted and disgusting. Making sexual comments about Nicole. It’s inappropriate workplace behavior,” Ruby huffed out, strands of her sweaty red hair falling in her eyes. The anger was simmering down, luckily, but she couldn’t guarantee seeing Brad again wouldn’t invoke the feelings once more.

Terry rolled his eyes, “And fightin’ him is? Yeah, we all know they’re doing it. Can you act like a grown up? This is a write-up!” He pulled out a book and began writing.

Shocked, Ruby stood there. Blood coursed to her hand as the throbbing began at the cut in her finger. Electricity buzzed through her whole body as the manager stood in front of her. She was curious as to why he didn’t care about Brad’s inappropriate behavior.

“Get back to work, Ruby.”

“Whatever.”

Brad was leaned up against the wall next to Terry’s office. Ruby didn’t even try to look at him. “Looks like someone needs anger management.”

Ruby stopped, her back still to the asshole, “Why don’t you talk like you actually care about her?”

Brad scoffed, “I do care about her.”

She laughed. A deep breath filled her lungs attempting to calm her down before she turned around. Her eyes scanned over Brad’s tanned skin, a smirk plastered across his lips. Heat spread across her cheeks and burned in her throat. Pushing past him, she walked back to her station, the slice in her finger burning as she continued to wait for tickets.

Everyone ignored her for the rest of her shift. Joey sent her home as soon as the restaurant closed, saying he’d make Pickles close the kitchen. Ruby tried to argue, but he just waved her off. It had been a slower night, so she knew it would be easier just to go. After her blowup, she wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball in the corner of the walk in and freeze to death.

The ground beneath her felt like ice as she walked out of the back door. The eyes of everyone else watched her and she could feel their readiness to start talking about her the second the door clicked shut. Her entire world felt fragile as she approached her car. As the engine turned over, she felt her throat start to burn as tears threatened to fall.

When the cold A/C blasted in her face she let out the sigh she didn’t realize she’d been holding in. She wished she could get electroshock therapy until Nicole was nothing but the ghost of a memory in her mind. The radio kicked on playing some pop song she tuned out.

The old car lurched as she made her way out of the parking lot to her apartment. The lights of the city flew by on her way home. Humiliation washed over her when she thought back on her altercation. She was pissed off, a little with Brad, but mostly herself. Nicole burned in her heart a picture of perfection and beauty. Yet she didn’t want Ruby. She was just someone to get something out of.

The beat up car Ruby drove sputtered as she pulled into her apartment’s parking lot. She grabbed her bag out of the passenger seat and started towards her building. In her mind, she formed a plan to forget. The stairs creaked as her aching knees climbed up to her floor. Her keys jingled as she pulled them from her bag. The handle clicked as she opened the door to her hallway. Her stomach dropped as she stopped in her tracks.

Sitting in front of her door, was Nicole. Her cheeks wet from tears, eyes puffy, and lips pouty. The big brown eyes that melted Ruby stared at her as the silence filled the room like a thick fog.

“Hey.”

Ruby’s mouth ran dry, she squeaked out, “Hey.”

Chapter Text

Nicole sunk into Ruby’s couch as she hung her keys and bag up. They didn’t speak. The air was thick and heavy, Ruby thought she might drown in the silence. Her heavy boots thudded on the floor as she walked over to her kitchen, the fridge and the glow of the city her only light source.

“Want anything to drink? I have water, soda, lemonade.” She looked at Nicole over the door.

“Do you have any alcohol?”

Ruby glanced back into the fridge, spotting a can in the door, “Uh I have a White Claw?”

“That’s fine. What fla—actually, I don’t care.” Nicole smiled. She couldn’t tell if she was trying to convince Ruby or herself if she was actually happy.

Ruby walked over to her living area and put the can in her hand. Their fingers brushed against the cold metal before she pulled back. “Uh…I’m gonna go rinse off in the shower real quick. I-if you don’t mind, of course.”

The blonde nodded as she popped the can open, taking a sip. Ruby had her routine after she got home from the restaurant. Drop her stuff off, shower, a quick snack, TV, then off to bed. Nicole showing up threw off her rhythm.

She slowly walked out of the living room, feeling awkward leaving Nicole in there alone.  She paused at the sink, staring at herself in the mirror. The day had been exhausting and it showed all over her face. Her tan skin had a thin layer of grease covering it. She knew she smelled like the bistro and as badly as she wanted to talk to Nicole, she needed to be clean more.

The squeak of the knobs sent a chill down Ruby’s spine as the water sputtered before starting its steady stream. She let her clothes drop to the floor before stepping under the hot water. Instantly, her muscles relaxed. All the stress from the day had piled on her back which eased under the warmth.

Knowing Nicole was sitting on her couch made her insides twist and squirm. The thumping in her chest was unending. Ruby wracked her brain trying to come up with any reason why her ‘work wife’ would be sitting at her door with tear stained cheeks. What could possibly be worse than the day she’d had already.

After her quick shower, she threw on whatever clothes she grabbed first. When she walked out into the living room, Nicole quickly locked her phone and put it down, focusing solely on Ruby. Following Nicole’s example, she grabbed a drink for herself, the opening of the can the only noise in the dense silence.

“Are you okay?” Ruby asked after she sat down, looking head on at Nicole, whose eyes locked on the pillow in her lap as soon as Ruby got close. “Heard you were sick.”

“Um…yeah.”

“Don’t believe that for a second.” A half smile crossed onto Ruby’s lips, mirroring itself on Nicole’s.

Her fresh nails picked at the tab, her eyes still glued to the pillow, “I wanted to apologize.”

Nicole? Apologizing? Ruby’s brows furrowed as she pushed her lips in a flat line, “What for?”

Nicole rolled her eyes before taking a deep breath, “I just feel like I’ve been unfair to you lately. Using you. I’ve been using you. For food and attention and it’s kinda shitty of me. I really care about you, you’re my…” She paused, her doe eyes scanning Ruby over, “Friend.”

Friend.

Oh how Ruby loathed that word coming from her mouth.

It fell from her lips like honey. Slow and sweet. It was heavy and sickening to Ruby. Sticky and impossible to swallow. The words sank into her stomach which pulled her down with it. Her mouth search for the words she wanted to say.

Friend.

“Where’s this coming from?” Ruby asked as she took a sip, the seltzer bubbling in her throat.

Nicole tucked her feet under her, looking out of the window at the hazy skyline of LA, her breaths were shallow and unsteady, “I felt bad after our fight yesterday. I literally cried all day and night. I felt sick. I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I don’t think I could hate you if I tried,” Ruby let out a low chuckle.

Their eyes locked, Nicole’s brows were furrowed. Her big brown eyes scanned Ruby’s face.

“I just…I mean I also care about you. You’re my,” Ruby stopped, a deep sigh leaving her body, “Friend.”

Friend.

Nicole smiled and nodded, looking back down at the can clutched in her fist. Ruby stared at her. Words beat on the back of her lips, begging to come out. The silence was comfortable and as badly as Ruby didn’t want to disturb it, she did.

“Why didn’t you tell me you and Brad were hooking up again?”

Nicole squeezed her eyes shut before quickly spilling out, “I don’t know it didn’t seem important.”

“Okay so why did you ignore me after?”

“God, Ruby I don’t owe you anything.” Nicole started to shrink into herself.

“No you’re right. You don’t owe me sex or dates or flirting but you do owe me the human decency to let me down properly, Nicole. Not just ignore me.” Ruby felt sick.

Nicole looked away, down, up, everywhere but Ruby’s eyes.

“You don’t stop, do you?” The redhead laughed.

“Oh my god, Ruby, what’s your problem?” Nicole scoffed

Ruby scooted closer to her on the couch, staring her down, “You ignore. You avoid. You bolt. When are you going to let yourself feel?”

“I-“ She stopped herself, her mouth open slightly. Her eyes kept darting to Ruby’s lips. Their faces got closer together as Ruby closed her eyes, preparing herself to taste Nicole’s sweet lips again.

Their breath became one, their lips hovering next to each others, “I-I gotta go.”

“I don’t care,” Ruby moved her hand onto Nicole’s cheek, pulling her into the kiss. Their mouths moved together as they moved closer to each other on the couch.

Nicole pushed into Ruby, shifting to her knees as the redhead’s hand moved from her cheek to getting tangled in her long blonde hair. Nicole opened the kiss, and Ruby moved her tongue against hers. She climbed on top of Ruby, straddling her. Nicole moved her hips back and forth as Ruby moved her other hand over her thighs to her ass, grabbing it as hard as she could in her calloused hands.

The heavenly kisses of Nicole moved from her mouth to her neck as Ruby threw her head back, sighing. This was all she had wanted. To talk to Nicole. To kiss her. Hold her again. To feel her body pressed against hers .

Quickly, Nicole pulled herself back from Ruby. Her eyes searched Ruby’s, her breaths speeding up. Her lips parted, and she quickly stood up, confusing the other girl. “I really gotta go.” The blonde whispered, gathering her stuff. All Ruby could do was roll her eyes, but inside her stomach twisted and her heart ached.

“Of course you do.”

Hands full of her belongings, Nicole whipped her head back towards the redhead leaning back into the couch, frustration painted on her face, head shaking back and forth.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Nicole spit at her.

Ruby stood up and walked over to the other, who pressed her back against the front door, her hand resting on the doorknob.

“How much longer are you going to avoid this?”

“I don’t understand?”

Ruby leaned into Nicole, her lips touching her ear, sending a shudder through Nicole’s body, “You do. I know what you’re going through.”

She swore she could see the fear in Nicole’s eyes as she stared at her. She quickly turned around and opened the door. The slam shook the walls, and convinced Ruby to release the sigh she didn’t realize she’d been holding in. Her hand caught the doorknob as she squeezed her eyes shut, begging for the whole day to disappear and she’d wake up from a sick nightmare.

As she glanced out into her parking lot, she saw Nicole sitting in her car, but she was too far to tell what she was doing. Her body fought the need to run downstairs and jump in her car.

But she knew Nicole, she knew how badly she needed space to decide for herself.

Ruby would never forget the first time she realized she liked girls. That she was a lesbian. And the first time she was ever with a girl. How scared she was, and how far she tried to run. The fear of acknowledging a part of yourself that you’d never known before. Walking into the vast unknown darkness without any clue of how to navigate it.

But there was only so far she could run before she had to face the inevitable.

—————————————————————

To Ruby’s surprise, everyone was normal the next day at work. She knew everyone knew what happened, but nobody really mentioned it. They showed up to work, did their job, and nobody treated her differently.

Nicole was also acting like her usual self. Not like she was in Ruby’s apartment last night with their tongues down each others throats for a brief moment in time. She flirted, she batted her lashes, she was snarky and sassy as usual. Her hands still touched Brad, spreading heat throughout her body. Ruby was surprised Nicole was affectionate with him given what he said about her. She figured Nicole didn’t hear the whole story.

The kitchen was full of heat and shouts as they worked through the dinner rush. Friday nights were usually their busiest. It was never ending tickets of steak, chicken piccata, and Santa Fe chicken. Ruby couldn’t help but steal any glance of Nicole she could through the door. The sight of her made Ruby’s stomach tingle and jump into her throat.

Flashbacks of the night before constantly crossed her mind. Memories of their hookups lingered in the back of her mind. The way Nicole would squirm to her touch. Her moans as Ruby circled her tongue across her pussy. How it felt rubbing her own clit against Nicole’s. She kept shaking her head, trying to get the thoughts out of her mind. But they kept sneaking in, reminding her of what she wanted.

Once the rush subsided, Ruby stepped out to take her break. The fresh air filled her lungs as she leaned against the wall, hoping to

relieve some of the pressure on her feet. Thoughts of Nicole kept coming into her mind and she tried to ignore them. Instead, she focused on the cigarette in her hand.

The door to the kitchen opened, revealing Nicole, her blonde hair glowing in the light of the street lamp. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

Nicole leaned against the wall next to her, neither of them spoke. She reached into her apron pocket and pulled out her small vape, puffing on it. It felt tense unlike the silence from the night before.

“I’m sorry,” She whispered. It was almost so quiet Ruby could hardly hear it.

“Damn, you keep apologizing lately. What’s gotten into you?” Ruby joked.

Nicole rolled her eyes, smiling at her, “I know, I know. I just feel like I keep fucking up. I don’t know what to do.”

Ruby blew smoke from her mouth, “Why do you think you’re fucking up?”

Nicole turned her head to look at Ruby, who was already looking at her, “I don’t know. My feelings are confusing right now but I’m scared I’m gonna lose you.” Her eyes looked sad but scared like last night. Ruby dropped her cigarette to the ground, stomping it out.

“What do you mean lose me?”

“Uh-uh-uh I mean our dynamic. Our friendship. Our…” Nicole stuttered out, clearly trying to wrack her brain for any answer.

“Our what? The way you flirt with me? The way you kiss me?” Ruby took a step closer, her fingers lifting Nicole’s chin up. “Nicole, the only way you fuck this up is if you keep doing this .”

“Doing what?” She whispered, stepping closer into Ruby.

Ruby craned her head down to Nicole, their faces close, “Going back and forth with me. Do you want me or not?”

“Ruby, I don’t know.”

“I need you to know.”

The brown eyes staring back at her ran circles around her face. Eyes, lips, nose, cheek, lips, chin, lips again.

She moved her hand down Nicole’s arm to her hip, pulling her closer into her body. Nicole’s arms went around Ruby’s neck as she pushed her lips onto the others. Their kiss was soft and brief before Nicole pulled herself back, looking up at Ruby with her usual doe eyes, “I don’t know.”

“Find me when you do.”

She stepped away from Nicole, walking back inside the kitchen. Brad was leaning against the wall when she walked back in, “About damn time. What are you doing out there?”

“Smoke break?” She shoved past him, confused why he was asking.

“Whatever, table 30 wants to know,” He was cut off by the squeak of the back door, which got his undivided attention. His gaze turned back and forth between Nicole walking in and Ruby who began working on tickets again. “No fucking way.”

Ruby ignored him and Nicole went back to her tables, wiping a tear as she walked onto the floor.

“What was she doing out there?” Brad leaned across the table to Ruby.

“Taking her break, what’s your problem?”

Brad rolled his eyes, “You know what I mean. Were you talking?”

Ruby stopped working on the dish to look at Brad, a red rash starting to crawl up his neck, “Jealous much? Am I not allowed to talk to her now? Damn, didn’t know you owned her.”

Brad stood up straight and walked out of the kitchen. Ruby saw him walk over to Nicole, who was waiting at the bar for her tables drinks, and place his hand on her lower back. He pushed her hair back and whispered in her ear before turning back around to see Ruby watching him. A smirk plastered on his lips.

Once again, Nicole was getting into Brad’s car at the end of the night. They at least had the decency to wait until they got to his house to undress. Ruby was angry and confused. Twice Nicole was in her grasp. She could’ve held her close until she had no choice but to be with her. But Ruby knew if she wanted a relationship with Nicole, it would have to be more than that. She was going to have to let Nicole come to her.

As she lay in bed, she daydreamed about the blonde, and what their life would be like if they actually wound up with each other. Their pets, the house they’d live in, maybe kids. Her eyes grew heavy as her brain urged her to sleep. But instead, her phone rang, the screen lighting up the room. The brightness of the phone made Ruby’s head hurt as she looked down, her eyes adjusting.

Nicole.

Ruby clumsily picked up the phone, trying to slide the answer symbol across the screen.

“Hello?” She groggily replied, hoping it would make her sound more nonchalant than she felt. Her heart raced.

Nicole’s voice whispered through the phone, almost so quiet Ruby had to check to see if she answered, “Um. It’s me. Can we talk?”

Ruby started to feel nervous, “Yeah. Are you okay? Why are you whispering?”

“Um…Brad’s sleeping. I don’t wanna wake him up,” Ruby could hear the bed creak through the phone. “Can you come pick me up?”

Ruby checked the time, almost 1:30 in the morning. A rush of anxious nausea coursed through her as she got up and started to walk to the door, “Yeah. Yeah I got you.”

“Thank you. I sent you my location. I’m sorry.” Nicole’s voice cracked.

Ruby sighed as she started to walk down the stairs to her car, “It’s okay. Don’t worry. I’m on my way.”

Chapter Text

Brad came in 5 minutes.

Nicole was pissed.

She was hoping for crazy hot sex to take her mind off Ruby. If she was being honest, most hookups with him since Christmas were for that reason. But this was probably the worst hookup with Brad she’d ever had. She sucked him off, he fingered her, they finally got going and it was over before she could even think about it. He mostly only ever hit it from the back, but for some reason tonight it was missionary. Brad kept his head by her ear, trying to talk dirty. All it did was turn Nicole off. He was usually better than this. Brad was getting sloppy.

She didn’t come.

That was probably the worst part.

When Brad and Nicole first started to hook up, he was all about her pleasure. She would come multiple times, him always waiting until she did. She could count the times on one hand that she didn’t finish with him, it was that rare. Some nights it was better than others. But the last few times, she hadn’t come to him and it was starting to piss her off.

The sex was never bad, though. She would come eventually. She’d touch herself if he wasn’t already. Since it was a friends with benefits situation, it was usually crazy sex. The table, counters, couch, shower, bed. Multiple times a night. It was never sensual or romantic. Strictly sex. They fucked like it was an affair.

Sometimes Nicole felt like it was. She imagined it was Ruby. She would close her eyes and see the tanned redhead touching her. She dreamed about their hookups. In her mind’s eye she could see Ruby’s naked body. The defined muscles. The scars under her chest. Her tattoos. Tender but rough hands would grab her and guide her through a dance. She’d never been with a woman before Ruby.

In high school Nicole realized she was bisexual. All her life she had crushes on other girls. She kissed her best friend at a sleepover, just to try it. That quickly became a ritual for them which Nicole loved. In her early 20s, she got close to hooking up with a few girls. Never sex. Just foreplay before she got too scared.

But Ruby? God, Ruby. She thought about the few times they fucked often. It was hot, sexy, and completely different than any hookup she’d had before. It was all about Nicole’s pleasure, Ruby spent so much time making sure she was satisfied. Ruby had always been affectionate and passionate, her focus all on Nicole. But the last time they hooked up, Nicole felt the flurries of feelings flying around in her stomach. And it scared the shit out of her.

So she did what she did best.

She ran.

She ran as hard and as far away from love, romance, and affection as she could, never stopping to look back. Any time Ruby texted her, she ignored it. She fucked Brad more and more hoping it would dull the pounding at the back of her head. She hid her feelings behind mindless flirting and affection, pushing down the flutters. Before Ruby, she’d never been into anybody beyond mindless sex.

And she was into Ruby. The thought petrified Nicole, sending a nauseous wave over her entire body, chills forming on her skin head to toe. But she’d never admit it out loud, she told herself a relationship was the last thing she wanted. So to the back of the mind it went, being pushed further down by Brad.

With each thrust from Brad, an image of Ruby would appear in Nicole’s mind. Countless times she had to bite her lip and tongue to stop moaning out her name. As Nicole touched her own breasts, she remembered the times Ruby would slide her rough hands under her shirt. Even just the graze of her fingers on her skin as Ruby passed behind her at the bistro would be enough to make Nicole’s knees buckle.

The shadows on Brad’s ceiling moved as she lay next to him in bed. He fell asleep instantaneously, which almost pissed Nicole off more. The whole car ride to his place he talked about the way Ruby attacked him randomly the day before. It was all Nicole had heard about all day. None of the stories were cohesive or made sense.

His hand had gripped Nicole’s thigh as he sped down the highway, “You’re mine. You know that, right?”

“Brad. We’ve been over this,” Nicole started, resting her head on the window.

“Nicole, I know it’s just friends with benefits. But still…you’re mine. Nobody else is fucking you.” Brad laughed before looking at her, “Yeah?”

Flashbacks of her screaming out Ruby’s name as the sous chef pulled her hair filled her head. At night, Nicole would think about her and snake her hand down to her pussy as she did. She closed her eyes tight as a deep breath left her lungs, and she tried her hardest to forget about her.

Brad squeezed her leg pulling her out of her stupor, reminding her for an answer. She looked out the window, “Yeah.”

As she lay in bed next to him, her chest tightened. He was starting to snore and the burn in the back of her throat was starting to become unavoidable. Between the incessant snoring and the thumping in her chest, Nicole could feel her hands start to shake and her sight go blurry from the forming tears. Her hand cupped over her mouth as she shook from the sobs trying to escape her body.

She was naked, unsatisfied, confused, and angry. And to make matters worse, she was fucking sobbing. What she was crying about, she had no idea. Nicole fucking hated crying. It made her insides hurt and forced her to acknowledge the feelings she wanted to ignore more than anything.

When she was a kid, any time she’d cry, her mom would shout at her to be quiet. She’d always been stubborn and didn’t take shit, but hell, she was a kid too. And kids cry. That’s almost certainly where most of her issues she ignored stemmed from, but each time the skeletons in the closet would call her name, she would add another lock and throw away the key.

Warm tears streamed down her face as her shoulders shook. A dark, vast pit formed in her stomach and threatened to suck her into it. Beside her, Brad stirred and hummed out, forcing Nicole to lay still and hope if she didn’t move he’d forget she was there. In his sleep, he turned over, taking most of the blanket with him. He didn’t care.

Thoughts of her work wife swirled around in her already stormy head. Their conversation in the alley that night. Nicole breaking down after Ruby left her standing in the light of the street lamps alone. The kisses they’d shared the last few days and how badly she’d missed the taste of cigarette on her lips. The way her jasmine shampoo consumed every one of Nicole’s senses, leaving her wishing for more. Ruby’s lips were always soft and delicate, even when she was being rougher with her.

When they kissed for the first time, it genuinely took Nicole’s breath away. The holiday party was getting annoying and the white wine in her system was starting to set in. She was trying to adjust her clothes and hair from the quickie with Brad when she saw Ruby in the dim light of the kitchen, rolling her eyes.

“What? Your turn next?” She had sauntered over to the sous chef leaning against the counter with her arms crossed.

“Only if you’ll let me,” Ruby half joked back.

Nicole stopped, her eyes narrowing. A spark lit up in her stomach, filling her with the same nervous twinge that came with a childhood crush. Her idea of Ruby shifted in an instant, like a downpour on a sunny day, there’s brightness of the sun, yet rain from invisible clouds that surrounds you. It’s warm and light but every moment is confusing and you’re unsure of why it’s happening. Is dancing in the rain worth it?

Each step she took towards Ruby her heart picked up the pace. The other girl stayed planted firmly with her arms and legs crossed, a smirk forming on her lips as Nicole looked up at her. It was like she was seeing Ruby for the first time. Really seeing her. The gentle flaps of the butterflies in her insides sent a buzz throughout her whole body.

Nicole had always thought Ruby was attractive. Pretty, handsome, beautiful. Any word, really. But she never thought she was attracted to her. She liked her tattoos, deep tan skin, and the way her muscles were defined as she cut up vegetables and flipped food in the pan. There had been a few instances when she’d cut her finger and Ruby would take her time doctoring the wound. Even thinking back on the memories made the phantom touch of Ruby cover her body. They’d flirted but Nicole never thought it was serious. But the more she stared at the tall, strong girl in front of her, she started to see her differently.

The low light framed her head in a halo and Nicole thought she looked like an angel that should be on top of the tree sitting in the dining room. Her hooked nose and crooked smile charmed Nicole. Ruby looked down at her, the smirk never wiping itself from her face.

“God, you’re so into me.” Nicole joked, hoping it would cover up her nerves. It’s Ruby…why was she feeling weird about her?

“And what if I am? You and Brad aren’t an actual thing, right?” She uncrossed her arms and shoved them into her pockets, a red hue covering her cheeks. Nicole wandered if it was from the ugly sweater or the heat. She doubted both.

Nicole felt her mouth get dry as the sous chef looked her up and down. She threw her hair back and popped a hip, “No. No we aren’t. But, I’m not surprised you want me. Everybody does.” It wasn’t a lie. Everybody did want her. But usually she didn’t feel like this.

Ruby had chuckled lowly, before giving her the most hungry bedroom eyes she’d ever seen, “Careful.”

“You keep saying that tonight,” Nicole leaned on the counter, resting her hands on either side of Ruby. “What are you gonna do if I’m not?”

She wasn’t oblivious. She knew where it was going. But it still surprised her all the same. Maybe she didn’t think it would actually happen. Ruby had wrapped her arm around Nicole’s lower back and pulled her in, their lips meeting. Nicole reached her arms up around her neck, her hands getting twisted into the red locks. A tingle shot through her stomach, down her center, and into her toes when their lips touched.

Ruby’s rough hands had moved up Nicole’s back under her sweater, the cold and calloused fingers tracing up her spine. Their tongues danced over each others as they continued to kiss, her senses being filled by Ruby’s scent. She wasn’t sure she’d ever noticed it before, but in that moment, she’d never tasted or smelled anything better than the girl in front of her. Whimpers left her pouty mouth as the redhead moved her lips and tongue into her ear. Soft moans leaving Ruby’s mouth as she licked and sucked on Nicole’s neck left her pussy throbbing.

The two moved in the soft light towards the storage closet Nicole had just left. Ruby pushed her against the door, her upper thigh pushing between the blonde’s shaky legs and Nicole moved her hips against it, looking for any pressure on her clit. With one hand Ruby had grabbed her wrists and pushed them above her, using her free hand to roam under Nicole’s sweater. Their kisses were sloppy and desperate which wasn’t helped by the ever growing affect of alcohol.

The lips of the other girl touched Nicole’s ear and whispered quietly as the cold fingertips snuck under her bralette towards her hard nipples, “I’m sure Brad’s looking for you. Does he know you’re in here with me? I bet he doesn’t know.” Ruby’s voice was deep but light, almost like she was taunting her.

Nicole’s eyes rolled back as Ruby’s fingers rolled over her nipples, the pleasure filling her entire body. The more she rode the muscular leg the more the icy hot feeling in her pussy started to build. She was whimpering louder than she should have before Ruby let go of her wrists and quickly covered her mouth.

“ Careful .”

Nicole looked back up at Ruby with her big desperate eyes. Nothing had ever been more important for her than the moment with Ruby. She wanted nothing more than to kiss her all night long. Fuck the party. Fuck Brad. Ruby moved her hand to behind Nicole’s neck and pushed her mouth onto the blonde’s once more.

Memories of the night played on loop in Nicole’s mind as Brad snored next to her in bed. She lay facing the opposite direction of him, a pillow over her head trying to drown out the overstimulating noise. Every time she tried to concentrate on sleeping, sex flashbacks would appear instead. She hadn’t been fucked in that way before and she figured unless Brad took lessons from a lesbian, she never would again.

Unless.

No.

Fuck.

The war inside her soul raged on as she fought back and forth. Ruby could never be real, at least she’d never allow her to be. One last time? Maybe all she needed was one more night of crazy hot sex and she’d detox Ruby from her system. Maybe. The tears started rolling again before she realized how much it was affecting her. She hated the apartment. The bed. The walls. Brad. His fucking snoring. The sex. Herself.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she picked up her phone and scrolled through her contacts, stopping at her name. Her finger hovered over the icon for a while before she clicked on it. Every inch of her body wanted to hang up, say it was an accident, and that she didn’t mean to. Lying was her strong suit. Ruby would believe it, yeah?

Yet the phone stayed glued to her ear as the ringing shook her brain and a nervous twinge grew in her. Part of her wished that she’d answer. The rest of her pleaded with every higher being she could think of that she wouldn’t.

Until her deep and sleepy voice answered, “Hello?”

Nicole looked over at the back of Brad’s head, guilt building up in her throat, “Um. It’s me. Can we talk?”

“Yeah. Are you okay? Why are you whispering?” She could sense the nerves in Ruby’s voice. Suddenly, guilt filled her stomach and she felt embarrassed.

“Um…” Nicole squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip. Why did she call her? She knows her and Brad sleep together, why was she scared to say it? “Brad’s sleeping. I don’t wanna wake him up.” Nicole slowly started to stand up out of the bed and gather her clothes, which were all over the room. “Can you come pick me up?”

The line was quiet. Nicole checked to see if Ruby hung up. “Yeah. Yeah I got you.”

Relief flooded over her body as she walked out of the bedroom, turning the knob to quietly close the door. She quickly sent her location to Ruby before returning to the call. “Thank you. I sent you my location.” The all too familiar burn from earlier started to threaten her again. “I’m sorry.” Nicole apologized. She never apologized. Yet, she did three times that day. It was getting annoying.

A sigh came through the speaker as tears began to stream down her face, “It’s okay. Don’t worry. I’m on my way.”

She slipped out the front door of Brad’s apartment and started to make her way outside. The fresh air hit her face and she almost collapsed to the floor, tears endlessly falling from her tired eyes.

Effortless. Nonchalant. Chill. Everything she tried to be was slipping out of her fingertips as the salty air of the night came over her. The internal battles she fought inside every day were going to be gaining a new casualty before too long. Nicole plopped on a bench outside in the warm night as she looked into the night sky.

Anger crashed over her tired body as she waited for Ruby to arrive. She wished she didn’t feel like this and how badly she wanted it to go away. Yet, deep down she knew these feelings would never leave. Nicole feared commitment but also loneliness. She craved nothing more than to be with someone. Her mind and her heart were constantly at war. It almost felt juvenile behaving this way. Memories flooded back to Nicole of when she was in high school, flirting solely for attention and getting freaked out the second they showed interest back in her.

Nicole didn’t want to feel any more. So she wouldn’t. The feelings would suppress further and further down as she went on like nothing changed. Ruby would be there any second, and Nicole would act as normal as she could. She’d ignore the fact she was angry with Brad and herself, she would do her best to ignore Ruby’s round lips that called to her like a siren’s song, and she would ignore what her heart ached for.

The more you tell yourself a lie, the more you start to believe it. And all Nicole could repeat to herself was the same lie over and over as Ruby’s car pulled up, the old headlights blinding her.

I don’t .

Chapter Text

Moonlight shimmered across the Pacific and the gentle sound of crashing waves filled the air as Ruby and Nicole sat side by side in the sand watching the tide come in and out. She didn’t even bother asking Nicole what was wrong, she knew she would tell her when she was ready. When she had climbed in the car, Nicole burst into tears, clinging onto the sous chef as she cried. Ruby asked if she should go home to which Nicole shook her head violently. So to the beach they went.

Frankly, Ruby wasn’t sure how they’d wound up there, she just drove before pulling into the lot. Somewhere in the back of her mind she remembered Nicole talking about how much she loved the beach and how calming it was to her. Maybe that’s why she instinctively went there. The effect on Nicole was almost immediate, the crisp ocean breeze blowing the hair around her face.

The girls from the restaurant had taken a beach day all together one time when they had been closed. They’d been talking loudly about it one day and Ruby didn’t think she was invited until Bridgette told her she should join them. At previous restaurants, she’d never really hung out and made friends with anybody, but at Bistro Huddy, they quickly made sure she was always included.

Bridgette picked her up that morning, the other girls already in the car singing some Taylor Swift song. Amber was in the front seat, Nicole sat in the back, patting the seat next to her as Ruby got inside the car. She’d never seen Nicole with her hair up. The windows were rolled down and the warm LA breeze blew through the car as they had made their way to the beach.

Coconut and sunscreen filled the air as the girls got their area set up, Nicole was lathering tanning oil all over herself after taking her crop top and shorts off. Ruby couldn’t take her eyes off of her as the oil glistened on her skin. She asked Ruby if she needed any help applying sunscreen after watching her struggle to reach her back. Gentle hands worked the sunblock into her skin around the tank she’d been wearing, over her shoulders, and down her arms sending shivers down Ruby’s back.

Amber and Bridgette ran off into the water as Nicole stayed back on her towel trying to get some sun in before getting into the ocean. Ruby sat next to her, eyes fixated on the blonde’s body, face, and the small black bikini she wore. She almost felt creepy staring at her but she couldn’t help herself. Nicole was always beautiful, but for some reason that day was elevated. Maybe it was the sun shining off her skin, her beautiful body in the sand, or maybe it was the way her hands had run across her back just moments before.

The blonde pushed her sunglasses down her nose and looked at Ruby, who was still staring back at her. Instinctively, she prepared for a sassy and snarky comment to come from her, something about taking a picture and how it’ll last longer. But the words never came. Instead, she received the most soft smile and eyes she’d ever seen from Nicole and Ruby smiled back. Her hand reached out and rested on Ruby’s knee before she pushed her glasses back up and continued sunbathing.

That was the first time Ruby’s heart sang out a song for Nicole. And every day since then, it played on repeat, hoping one day she’d join in on the chorus.

The tear stained cheeks of Nicole broke Ruby as she gazed out over the ocean. She was hugging her legs and resting her chin on her knees, Ruby was cross legged fidgeting with a shell she’d dug out of the sand.

“I don’t know why I called you, honestly.” Nicole finally spoke, still not looking at Ruby.

Ruby kicked her legs out and leaned back on her hands, “Said you wanted to talk.”

“Yeah I know.”

Ruby smiled, “Well what’s on your mind?”

Nicole shifted to crisscross her legs, “I don’t know.” Before Ruby could begin to speak, Nicole started again, “Why did you hurt Brad?”

A small exhale left Ruby, like a laugh, “What did you hear?”

She stuttered, “Um. Well the stories were all over the place but Brad said he was just minding his business talking to Nico and Pickles and you cut your finger then attacked him.”

“Oh of course,” Ruby rolled her eyes before shifting in the sand to face Nicole, “Do you wanna hear what really happened?”

“Yeah?”

Ruby’s eyes scanned Nicole’s face, blue in the light of the moon, her freshly bleached hair glowing, “Brad was talking about you. How you put out. How he fucks you every night,” Nicole’s eyes started to grow wide. “He told me in private you were sick so you went home, but he told the other guys that he fucked you so hard you couldn’t work.”

Nicole sat silently, staring at Ruby. She started to laugh, but quickly stopped when she realized Ruby wasn’t, “Wait, seriously?” All she could do was nod.

She laughed again, but not out of amusement this time. “Fine. Fine . He wants to play that game? Brad came in five minutes tonight. I didn’t come at all!” Ruby laughed alongside Nicole, but hers was pure amusement. “Usually, it’s great. But he’s been so bad lately. God. Why would he say that about me?”

Before she could think, Ruby reached out to Nicole, resting her hand on her upper thigh, “Why do you think I went at him?” The girls laughed together as the chilly air whipped around them.

“Thank you.” Her voice was soft and genuine. “You know, since I was younger, people have always talked about me that way. I pretended it wasn’t painful, but it always was. And I don’t know if I’ve ever had someone defend me while I wasn’t around. So seriously, thank you.”

Ruby nodded, reaching her hand out to push some of Nicole’s blonde hair back behind her ear and she rested her palm against her cheek. “Why did you call me?”

“I didn’t know who to talk to.” Nicole lifted her head out of Ruby’s hand.

The redhead moved herself closer in, “Nicole, I want to be with you. More than anything in this world, I want you. I think about you all the time. Not a day goes by that you’re not the first thing I think about when I wake up and what I dream about all night. But I can’t keep doing this.”

“I know.” The blonde quietly squeaked out, averting her eyes.

“What is holding you back? Is it because I’m a woman? Or what?” The thought of that being the case shattered Ruby’s insides.

Nicole’s eyes grew wide, “No. Oh God, no, Ruby. That’s not it.”

“Then what is it?” Silence drug them both down into the sand as Nicole searched for any words to say. Words that never came. “Nicole, we can’t go back and forth forever. Because it always ends up with somebody hurt, and I refuse to hurt more than I already do.”

Nothing.

Ruby’s heart fell into her stomach as Nicole sat silently. She stood up quickly, shaking the sand off herself and started walking towards her car, not stopping to look behind, “Come on, let’s go.”

The car ride to Nicole’s apartment was awkward and tense and neither girl spoke the whole drive. Ruby focused on the road, trying not to burst into tears. Occasionally, she would see Nicole’s hand reach up and wipe tears of her own.

Despite her anger, she still walked Nicole to her door. She grabbed Ruby’s hand and brought her inside the slightly messy apartment.

“Nicole-“

“No,” She cut her off. “Ruby, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m terrified. But I know I’m hurting you. I’m sorry for that. Trust me, if it was so simple, I’d know what to do.”

Ruby cocked her head and furrowed her brows, “Nicole what are you afraid of?”

“I don’t know.”

Ruby was angry and disappointed. She shook her head before turning around, hand turning the knob to her front door.

“Wait.” The voice behind her was small. Over her shoulder, she saw Nicole’s hand reach out for her. “Can you stay?”

“Stay?” Ruby kept her body away from her.

Nicole moved towards the redhead, her hand resting on her shoulder before pressing her cheek on Ruby’s spine, “Please. No sex. No kissing or anything. This has been such a weird few days and Brad was the least helpful person I could’ve seen. So stay, Ruby. Please.” Her voice cracked.

A deep sigh left Ruby as she turned around towards Nicole, who looked small with tears welling up in her eyes. Her heart tightened in her chest and a wave of anxiety flushed over her body before leading Nicole towards her bedroom.

Nicole took off the shorts she’d been wearing and the hoodie Ruby gave her at the beach when she noticed her shivering. She stood and waited for Nicole to get into the bed before crawling in herself. They both laid on their sides, facing each other. Ruby again reached out, and pushed fallen hair behind Nicole’s ear, letting her thumb linger to brush her cheek.

“You’re beautiful,” Ruby whispered.

Nicole moved closer to Ruby, resting her arm on her side. “I think you’re more beautiful.”

Ruby snaked her arm under Nicole’s head, pulling her into her chest, her hand in her hair and tracing up and down her spine. Nicole pushed herself into Ruby, releasing a sharp exhale as she did. As she played with her hair, her lips found Nicole’s sleepy head and left behind the most gentle kisses she could.

Before long, Nicole’s body grew heavier as sleep took over and Ruby watched her breathe, still caressing her head. She was fucking pissed. Mad at Nicole for always sending her mixed signals, mad at herself for always falling back into her trap, mad at Brad, and mad that their bodies being intertwined at night wasn’t a regular occurrence.

She stared at the woman asleep on her chest and felt her heart break knowing Nicole might never know what she wanted. Ruby repeatedly told her that she couldn’t go back and forth forever but she knew deep down she would wait a thousand lifetimes if it meant she could be with her at last.

Nicole was the last breath of air that you get before you suffocate. She’s like eating your favorite food then choking to death. It hurts but it feels so good.

—————————————————————

Ruby went on a date. It was nothing serious, just some random girl she met online. It was a distraction, if anything. The date went okay. They talked about their lives, careers, dreams, etc. At the end of the night, they went their separate ways, and unless the girl asked Ruby out again, she figured that was that. It wasn’t her first date, and it wouldn’t be her last. Anything to keep Nicole out of her mind.

The night she fell asleep holding Nicole felt like so long ago; they hadn’t really talked much since. Ruby figured giving her space was what she wanted, but still Nicole was clinging to Brad. Every time she saw them together, her stomach would drop and her cheeks would grow hot with anger. Not just because she was jealous—which she was—but because of what Brad had said about her. It made Ruby so fucking mad that she was still sleeping with him.

Heat had started to fill the kitchen as the dinner rush crept in slowly before slamming them entirely. Ruby’s hands moved instinctively as she focused on making the dishes on the tickets in front of her. Joey was shouting out for runners, Terry was breathing down everybody’s necks telling them to speed up, and the servers were in and out of the kitchen.

Joey grabbed the ticket that came from the printer, his eyebrows furrowed as he read it, “What the hell? NICOLE!”

The door swung open and Nicole ran in, “Fuck, I rang that in wrong, they didn’t want any onions I accidentally clicked patty.”

“Nicole this is your fourth time ringing something in wrong this shift, the fuck’s wrong with you?” Joey shouted.

Ruby’s eyes instinctively looked up at Nicole across from them. She looked tired and small, folding in on herself when usually she’s the first to fight Joey back. Scream back about how everyone fucks up and he has no room to talk when he fucked up her table’s steak earlier in the night. But she was quiet. Ruby’s heart beat in her ears as she saw the tears blooming in the blonde’s brown eyes.

They met hers. For the first time since that night. Their gaze lingered, a plea behind Nicole’s stare begging Ruby to try and calm Joey down like she always did when he got on Nicole’s ass. A cry for her help.

Ruby looked back down and kept working on her dishes.

Nicole stormed out of the kitchen and Joey scoffed, “God, what’s her issue today? Didn’t even fight back.”

“You were a little harsh,” Ruby said quietly as she continued cooking.

Joey’s head whipped towards his sous, “The fuck?”

Ruby stopped and faced him, “You were harsh. You fucked up her steak earlier, you’re not perfect either. She’s having an off day, you know this isn’t like her. Cut her some fuckin’ slack, dude.”

Head chef scoffed and turned back to the never ending tickets being put in, muttering something about Nicole always getting her way and Ruby always defending her. Ruby’s body felt electric as she continued working through the dishes she had started. Why hadn’t she jumped in when Nicole was in here? It broke her to see her so fragile, but she wasn’t the only one who was fragile. Ruby was tired of being vulnerable to someone who was running from her own feelings.

Through the small window on the door leading to the floor, Ruby caught a quick glimpse of Nicole working her tables. She’d straightened herself out, no tears, no faltering. Nobody would know that she was just on the verge of a breakdown just moments ago with how quickly she was able to turn it back on. As much as Ruby admired the ability, it made her laugh. Ever the avoider.

As quickly as it arrived, the rush disappeared and the stress was relieved from everyone. In a rare moment of admiration, Joey complimented the kitchen staff which took Ruby by surprise. She couldn’t think of the last time he’d done that.

On her way outside for her break, Nico pulled her aside towards the storage closet, “What is it, my break clock is ticking.”

“Did you sleep with Nicole?” He asked, his eyes searching her face.

Ruby’s stomach tightened before dropping to the floor. She could feel her face grow hotter, “What?”

“Yeah,” Nico looked over his shoulder and whispered, “Brad said you did. So did you? Didn’t know Nicole swung for your team too-“

“Nico,” Ruby—angry and upset—cut him off, “No. No I didn’t sleep with Nicole. Why is Brad saying this?” She was lying clean through her teeth and didn’t care. Nobody knew about their few times together. At least that she knew of.

Nico shrugged, “Just repeating what I was told. Figured I’d go to the source.”

Ruby straightened her back out, looking up at the much taller man, “I’m actually seeing someone.” Another lie. “So no. I don’t have anything with Nicole. And I never will.” Her voice faltered at the last sentence.

Shoving past Nico, she made her way to the door outside. She jumped as she rounded the corner back into the main kitchen space. There stood Nicole, leaning in to listen. A heavy wave of nausea rushed over Ruby’s body accompanied by anger. Did Nicole send Nico to set her up?

Nicole stood upright, her mouth opened slightly, arms hanging limp at her sides, and a hurt painted across her perfect face, “Y-you’re seeing someone?”

Ruby just shrugged, her head tilted. She was a maelstrom of emotion, only projecting the apathy she wished she felt inside. What did you expect, you missed your chance.

Pushing past Nicole, she grabbed her cigarettes from her pocket and made her way outside, most of her praying she wouldn’t follow behind. A small sliver hoped Nicole would be close and pull her into a sloppy, possessive kiss. But she never came. Ruby leaned against the brick in the warm glow of the lights with moths swirling around the bulb.

Tears spilled from Ruby’s eyes when she thought the blonde. She was ruining Ruby’s life, and she’d fully accepted the fact that the girl would be the death of her. As she brought the lighter to her desperate lips, her hands trembled; soon to be calmed by the burning tobacco. The smoke swirled around her as the paper burned and she exhaled, leaning her head back on the wall.

Just had to lie about seeing someone, did you? Ruby scolded herself. She paused, the memory of her date crossing her mind. They didn’t even kiss. Bringing the cigarette back to her lips, she squeezed her eyes shut, pushing the tears from her eyes. Everyone will know by the end of the day. Between Nico and Nicole, she was sure everyone already knew. Maybe she should go out with her again.

The feeling of a soft vibration in her pocket from her phone snapped her out of it. I’ll just ignore it she thought as she flicked the ash off her cig. But her anxiety got the better of her and she grabbed her phone only to see a single notification.

kylie : heyyy :) i know you’re working but just wanted to say i had a really good time last night and would def like to go out again, if you’re down!

Ruby sighed.

She swiped the notification away and locked her phone, shoving it back in her pocket.

Chapter Text

“Well how long have you been seeing her?” Nicole leaned against the expo table, her pale cheeks flushing, her brows more furrowed than she realized.

It was boringly slow at Bistro Huddy that night. It was the first of the month and people couldn’t afford to go out to eat after bills and rent. They had maybe 40 heads all night and Terry was about to start cutting people. Ruby prayed Nicole would be first to go so she would stop bothering her about the girl she was supposedly seeing.

It wasn’t fully a lie anymore. She asked her out on a few more dates, each better than the last. But it wasn’t as much as Ruby had implied it had been. They’d kissed. Ruby had pushed her lips onto Kylie’s as hard as she could and prayed she would take Nicole off of her mind. The soft moans that would tickle against Ruby’s mouth as she touched Nicole’s skin or the way Nicole’s floral perfume and strawberry lipgloss would taste on her lips.

It didn’t work. Kylie’s lipgloss was strawberry, too.

She didn’t want to see her anymore if she was being honest. They had good times, but it all felt moot knowing her heart ached and burned for another who had shut hers off. Kylie was a distraction, nothing more and nothing less.

Ruby glanced up at the chocolate brown eyes staring at her from across the expo table. Eyes which were full of hurt trying to be masked behind fake niceties. They hadn’t gotten a new ticket in a while, Joey left two hours ago, and Nicole’s only table was Poppy and River so she didn’t feel bad not checking on them while she interrogated the chef.

Ruby was messing around with some ingredients to make herself dinner. She shrugged, “I dunno, couple weeks?”

Nicole’s posture straightened out as she clenched her jaw, a red rash climbing up her neck. She cleared her throat, “Oh wow! Wow…”

Ruby stopped working on her dinner, “What?”

“Nothing! That’s…that’s great for you. Wow a couple weeks. So when are you proposing?” She laughed awkwardly and way longer than necessary. Pickles and Nico stopped to look at her, “What? I’m kidding! Jeez, tough crowd.” She looked back at Ruby, who had her brows furrowed.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah! Why wouldn’t I be okay?” Nicole swallowed hard.

Ruby looked her up and down. Her heart started to race as Nicole’s entire face got redder with every mention of Kylie. A spark lit up in her stomach as Nicole’s eyes raced over her face, her breath picking up the pace. Her mouth twisted in on itself into the fakest smile she’d ever seen someone make. Her nails tapped on the stainless steel in a rhythmic pattern over and over.

She’s jealous.

And holy fuck is it hot.

Setting down the knife, Ruby leaned against the expo table, eyes narrowing at Nicole, “Are you jealous?”

Another incriminating laugh, “What? No!”

Ruby raised a single eyebrow as Nicole leaned against the table, the fake smile still lingering on her face. She asked in a low tone, “Yeah?”

The heat from the lamp warmed her already hot cheeks more as Nicole widened her eyes the fake smile dropping from her lips. Venom was behind the word she spat back out at Ruby, “Yeah.”

Slowly, Ruby stood all the way back up, her brown eyes never leaving Nicole’s, and resumed the meal of random ingredients she’d begun. Nico and Pickles were looking back and forth between the two of them then to each other.

“Uh do you guys need to talk or something?” Pickles reluctantly asked.

“Nope,” Ruby looked back up at Nicole, the sickening expression still stuck on her face, “What is there to talk about?”

Nicole rolled her eyes and walked out of the kitchen. Ruby almost felt guilty for liking it, but she couldn’t help the enjoyment bubbling in her stomach as the girl she’d been pining over for months finally showed any feelings towards her.

Ruby gradually started to close the kitchen down and she sent Pickles home after it had been almost an hour without a new ticket. Aaron was the first to get cut, leaving Bridgette and Nicole to close.

They’d already been sweeping and mopping since the restaurant was empty most of the night, besides a few people lingering at the bar with Deb. Once everyone had cleared out, they locked the place up and sped through their closing duties as quickly as they could. Ruby and Nico put metal music over the speakers in the kitchen to help motivate them while Bridgette and Nicole closed the floor down.

Quicker than they expected, Nico and Ruby were finished with the kitchen and all the prep for tomorrow was done. She sent him home and decided to check on the girls to see how things were going out there. Deb shouted her goodbyes as she walked through the double doors to the kitchen, holding the door open for Ruby.

The girls were sitting in the dark dining room which seemed completely clean and shut down for the night. They’d been slowly doing all their side work of rolling silverware and polishing glasses during the even slower periods of the shift, so they didn’t have much else to do. They sat close together in the corner booth whispering as the heavy music bled into the room and Ruby tried her best to get close without them seeing her.

“Oh my god she’s seeing someone?” Bridgette whispered, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know. It’s weird. Like…” She clicked her tongue as she glanced around the room for the words to say, “I’m happy for her but at the same time I feel sick. Like why do I care?”

“Because you like her?”

Nicole laughed, “I don’t like her.”

“Nicole you’re not serious are you?”

She nodded, her hair glowing in the light of the moon trickling in through the windows.

“You like her,” Bridgette laughed, “It’s so obvious.”

“No. She’s my work wife. She’s my friend. That’s all. I just hate that she’s going out with someone without telling me,” Nicole crossed her arms and leaned back into the booth.

The other girl paused, “Nicole you’re jealous.”

“God, no I’m not why does everybody keep saying that?” She said louder as Bridgette shushed her. “What? She can’t hear over the music!”

“Maybe because it’s true. Would you feel like this if you found out Brad was dating?”

Nicole sat silently staring at the girl in front of her, her brows furrowed. Ruby could see the cogs turning in her head as the idea of Brad dating someone else was presented to her. The muscles in her face started to relax as she realized she probably wouldn’t care.

Ruby pretended to walk in at the tail end of the conversation, acting like she hadn’t been eavesdropping almost the whole time, “Hey guys, kitchen’s done. Are you ready in here so I can lock the place up?”

Nicole whipped her head to look at Ruby. Her pale skin looked so soft and delicate in the light. “Yeah we were just waiting for you to finish.”

Ruby felt her heart leap as Nicole and Bridgette slid out of the booth. The music was still blaring over the speakers until Ruby disconnected her phone, the immediate silence settling in the room forced the girls to remember the tension growing between them.

She thought about their conversation in the kitchen earlier. How Nicole’s face contorted into something that was supposed to be a smile but in reality looked more like she smelled rotting food. The way her laughter was forced and full of spite. Jealousy oozed from her every pore and possessiveness filled her eyes as she looked at the redhead. It was a look Ruby knew well.

It’s how she felt when she saw Nicole touch Brad. How heavy her body felt as bile stung her throat, the anger and anxiety that built up in her gut threatening to explode out of her. How badly she wanted nobody else to get close to Nicole, let alone fuck her. A needy, pathetic, possessive woman.

The three girls walked out of the back door and Ruby clicked the lock behind them. She liked to make sure they got to their cars safely each night. Ruby opened Bridgette’s car door for her, “Get home safe.”

“Ohh, such a gentleman.” Bridgette joked as she buckled in, “You’re a keeper.” She winked and smiled up at Ruby, her eyes crinkling and cheeks growing rounder. A small laugh left Ruby as she closed the driver’s door and Bridgette sped out of the lot.

They silently walked to Nicole’s car, the gravity between the two girls getting stronger with each step. She did the same and opened Nicole’s driver side door.

“Wow, you really are a keeper,” She sarcastically said, looking up at Ruby with a grin. Nicole leaned against the car with her arms crossed.

The butch rested her arm on top of the open car door with the other shoved in her pocket, replying just as sarcastically, “Someone will want keep me someday, I’m sure.”

Nicole smiled, rolling her eyes, “What about your new girlfriend?”

The word hit Ruby’s gut so hard she was almost sure Nicole punched it herself. Her eyes shut as she took a deep breath, “She’s not my-“

“Might as well be, right?” Nicole cut her off, her tone sharp, still smiling. Agitation started to grow in her as she looked down at the pouty blonde, her arms hugging herself tighter.

“No. Nicole just admit you’re jealous of her,” Ruby moved in closer. She loved seeing Nicole like this, it made her feel less guilty for being bitter whenever Brad was around Nicole. She didn’t own her, but god she wished she could.

Nicole stepped into Ruby, sizing her up, “Why should I be jealous? I don’t know her.”

“Yeah, okay.” She backed up, “Get home alright.” Ruby turned around and walked to her own car.

Her body fought the urge to turn around and push Nicole up against the car and kiss her senseless. To push her hands down her tight jeans and feel her again as she whimpered out Ruby’s name in the parking lot of Bistro Huddy. She thought about getting on her knees to beg Nicole for a chance; to kiss her feet and do whatever she asked for the rest of their lives.

But her body stayed facing forward until she got to her car. She climbed inside and then and only then did she allow herself to look to Nicole. There she stood, her eyes never leaving Ruby’s, and brandishing the very same fake smile from earlier.

—————————————————————

“This goes without saying, but you really are a great chef,” Kylie said as she stood in the doorway of Ruby’s apartment.

Ruby looked down at her feet and smiled. Her forearm was above her head resting on the doorframe, her hand shoved in the pocket of her slacks, “God, I sure hope so. It’s only my livelihood.” She snickered with the other girl.

Kylie looked up at Ruby, her eyes flicking to her lips then back up. Ruby moved her free hand onto the girl’s cheek, and craned her head down, bringing their lips together. Their mouths moved against each others, tongues touching ever so slightly. It was nice.

The other girl pulled away, her cheeks flushing, “I had a great time tonight.”

Ruby’s hand moved from her cheek down her arm to her hand, holding it lightly, “Yeah, me too.”

They looked at each other in a comfortable silence, neither sure what to say but okay with it. Ruby didn’t want to sleep with her, she didn’t think she wanted to sleep with anybody.

They’d had a nice date. Ruby had made Steak Oscar paired with a simple salad since Kylie had been asking to try her cooking. Ruby insisted she make her a nice meal at home as opposed to the bistro. She told her that she would rather cook her something special, not what’s on the menu. But if she was being honest, she just didn’t want her to meet Nicole. She pulled out all the stops, candles, an expensive wine pairing, classical music on vinyl. The whole nine yards.

“Walk you to your car?”

“I’m okay.” Kylie gave Ruby another kiss, “Text me?”

She just nodded before watching the girl walk down the hallway to the stairs, her pale green slip dress hugging her curves. Ruby closed the door and walked over to the dining table, blowing out the candles and picking up their plates before dropping them in the sink. She pushed the sleeves of her blazer up and started working on the dishes.

The hot water stung her hands as she scrubbed the pans, her mind coming up with ways to tell Kylie she doesn’t want to see her again. It had only been a few dates, nobody was attached, they hadn’t had the conversation about seeing anybody else. It wasn’t serious. Metal clanging on metal rattled in her mind as Ruby’s sponge worked circles into the stubborn fond.

A knock at the door drew Ruby out of it. It started getting louder and more consistent the more time it took her to walk to the door. Her hand twisted the knob, “Did you forget some-“

Nicole stood there with her hand raised to eye level, frozen mid knock. Her big brown eyes looked shocked that she answered, despite it being her hand banging the wood. Her chest heaved up and down as she stared at Ruby with parted lips, her eyes running circles around her face and body.

“She’s pretty.”

“I know.”

Ruby stood frozen with her hand on the knob. Her stomach dropped at the sight of Nicole at the door. She didn’t know what to ask. She didn’t know how to ask. Why the fuck was she here? Ruby scanned over her face, almost frantic and upset. Lips in their usual pouty state, brows turned upwards, eyes round and desperate. Her chest was caving in and her breathing irregular, clutching her purse like her life depended on it. The hand that was knocking dropped to her side, shaking ever so slightly.

Ruby battled her tongue to move and say the words she wanted, “What are you doing here?” It came out more angry than she expected it to.

“I don’t know.” She whispered, eyes still wide like a deer caught in the headlights.

“ Jesus fuck Nicole ,” Ruby rolled her lips inward and bit down trying to talk nice, “Were you fucking watching us?”

“I-I don’t kn-“

“No,” She cut her off, properly annoyed. “Nicole you need to know. I’m sick of this I don’t know bullshit with you!” She stuttered, anger taking over her voice, “Y-y-you show up at my door seconds after my date leaves, and you have the nerve to say you don’t know why you’re here.”

“Ruby!” Nicole shouted, still standing in the door. “I didn’t know she was here. I don’t know what I want. But I do know hearing you talk about this girl is nauseating . Fuck it! Fine! What if I am jealous?” She stepped in closer to Ruby, looking up at her. “I don’t know what I want but I do know I don’t want you to be with anybody else. You’re…you’re mine .”

She continued, “God and here I am showing up to your house late at night. And seeing her? Fuck Ruby. I get it. She’s gorgeous.” Nicole’s face grew redder the more she spoke, each sentence getting faster than the last. “You look so fucking sexy in a suit and I can’t look at you without feeling like I’m going insane. Why are you seeing someone?”

“Because you refuse to acknowledge any feelings Nicole!” Ruby shouted back, not caring if her neighbors got mad. “Because I’ve asked you out, I’ve fucked you, I’ve been patient, I’ve taken care of you and all I get is ‘I don’t knows’ and ‘maybe’! I’m fucking sick of it!” Ruby got closer to her, “I’m yours? How do you think I feel when I see you all over Brad? I hate his stupid fucking face because all I see is you sleeping with him and not me.”

Before either of them could register the words hanging in the air between them, Nicole lunged forward, wrapping her arms around Ruby’s neck and Ruby grabbed her waist, crashing their lips together. Heat from the argument and their desire drove the sloppy and reckless kisses as they stumbled inside the door, Nicole slamming it shut with her foot.

Their tongues drug across each others as their mouths both let out whines and whimpers. Nicole’s hands wove the red hair between her fingers, gripping onto it desperately like she was lost at sea and it was her only means of survival. Ruby moved her hands down to Nicole’s ass and squeezed it as much as her grip would allow, slapping it as she tugged on Nicole’s lower lip.

Ruby growled out low against her lips, “You’re  so fucking pathetic.”

Nicole hummed in reply, smirking, “And you fucking love it.”

It was messy, toxic, and so fucking sexy. Her hands quickly found the hem of the blonde’s tiny shirt and tugged it over her head, Nicole only letting go of Ruby to allow the shirt to come off. Her own hands pushed the dark navy blazer off of Ruby and dropped it to the floor before running her hands down her chest, fingers frantically trying to unbutton her shirt. They weren’t sure if it was months of built up tension or anger fueling the fire. Probably both.

With one hand, she helped Nicole unbutton her shirt, using the other to push and pull Nicole’s hips against Ruby’s thigh between her legs. When her white shirt dropped to the floor, Nicole pulled back to look at the butch and bit her lip. Her hips were still grinding on her thigh chasing any pressure she could.

Ruby grabbed the blonde’s face and pushed her mouth onto hers, moving into the dining area. She picked Nicole up and placed her on the table, nestling herself between the shaky thighs. Nicole tilted her head to the side, opening her neck up for kisses.

“Oh, candles? What a fancy date,” She teased as her nails dug into Ruby’s bare back, teeth grazing her neck.

The redhead sucked her pale skin, leaving a dark hickey right below her jaw before whispering in her ear, “Shut up.”

Ruby’s fingers moved up Nicole’s bare thighs inching closer to the little shorts she had on. Ruby’s insides felt like they were on fire. If she knew all it took was making Nicole jealous she would’ve told her about her dates ages ago. As her fingers got closer to the frayed edges of the shorts Nicole’s breath hitched. Ruby traced her calloused fingers along the edge of the shorts, feeling the blonde shudder at her touch.

“Oh, you like that?” Ruby teased against Nicole’s lips. She nodded slowly. Her hands moved to Nicole’s ass and pulled her forward to press against Ruby’s hips. The butch started to slowly roll her hips against Nicole’s while squeezing her ass. Nicole quickly started to move hers too, moaning as Ruby’s hands traced up her back.

Her fingers found the back of Nicole’s lacy bra which was begging to be removed. She unhooked the back and pulled it off as quickly as she could, ready to see the bare chest of Nicole once again. Ruby had to pull back and admire the body finally in front of her, a shameless moan leaving her lips as she moved her fingers over Nicole’s perfect breasts. Her arm wrapped around the small of Nicole’s back, arching her and taking the skin beside her nipple in her mouth, sinking her teeth in desperate to leave a bruise. A marking of her property.

Nicole moved her hips against Ruby’s harder as the redhead sucked her skin, trailing sloppy kisses down her bare stomach stopping just above the band of her shorts. Goosebumps formed across her skin as Ruby licked the skin and blew cold air on it, her eyes glued to the blonde’s. Nicole laid herself down on the table, propped up by her elbows.

Ruby traced her finger down the perfect person in front of her, teasing the skin under the waistband. She’d spent hours daydreaming about having the blonde in front of her again, screaming her name, but she never thought it would happen. Now that Nicole was there she was angry. Angry that this was all it took, that she’d ever felt guilty for being jealous of Brad, angry that Nicole thinks she could just waltz up to her door and expect Ruby to follow her like a puppy dog. But she was mostly angry that she knows she would.

But that didn’t matter then, Nicole did. And she was going to make sure she forgot all about Brad. Her fingers hooked onto the band of the shorts and she slowly and teasingly slid them—along with her underwear—off and threw them over her shoulder. Nicole’s knees spread apart for her, showing Ruby just how ready she was, and without any hesitation, Nicole moved her fingers onto her wet pussy and circled her clit, moaning and biting her lip as Ruby watched her.

“I think…about you…when I’m with him,” She whimpered out as her fingers got faster. “I have…to stop myself…from saying your name.”

Ruby stood and watched, feeling herself get more wet as Nicole touched herself on the table, and Ruby undid her own pants, letting them drop to the floor. She grabbed the hand Nicole was using and pushed it above her head, pinning it onto the table, her other hand moving onto the blonde’s soaking cunt, immediately earning more whimpers.

Ruby leaned over her, kissing her mouth messily before whispering in her ear, “Do you think he knows the way I have you right now?” Ruby moved her hand from Nicole’s pussy for a second to under her knee and threw her leg onto her shoulder. Her fingers got faster and Nicole got louder. Ruby growled out, “Does he?”

Nicole shook her head as she threw it back, her mouth releasing moans as Ruby touched her. She moved her mouth onto Nicole’s again and their wet tongues danced across each others more desperate than ever. Nicole grabbed onto Ruby’s hair as she started to twitch, inching closer to the high she’d been chasing.

Ruby took note of the way Nicole’s eyes squeezed shut as she clenched her stomach, she remembered all the signs of her getting close from before and recognized them. “You close baby?” She asked, her fingers staying at a steady pace, her mouth resting on Nicole’s, absorbing any loud sounds from her mouth. “You gonna come on me like a pretty girl?”

No words left the blonde, she just nodded furiously, her free hand clenching Ruby’s shoulder and the pinned one was grasping at the tablecloth which was getting wetter by the second. Her mouth hung open, no kisses were shared between them, just focusing on her own pleasure. Nicole’s body twitched more and more the more her whimpers sped up, “Right there. Keep going.” She panted out, clinging onto Ruby harder as the leg resting on her shoulder convulsed. “God, I’m close.”

“Do it for me, beautiful, you’re so pretty when you’re whiny like this,” Ruby murmured against her lips, Nicole pressed her forehead against Ruby’s, “Fuck I want you to come all over my table. Make a fucking mess, princess.”

Her head fell back as she finally got to the edge and dove over, falling apart on Ruby. She moved her mouth onto her breasts, her fingers never leaving Nicole. Her body writhed under the butch as she tried to get away, but Ruby’s body weight kept her locked in place. “You take it so well,” The redhead moaned out against her sensitive nipple.

“God…Ruby,” Nicole cried out softly, still trying to move away from the fingers that brought her oh so much pleasure. She was coming down from her high, but Ruby knew that wasn’t enough. She needed every part of Nicole like she needed oxygen to breathe.

She let go of her and dropped to her knees, grabbing Nicole’s legs, pulling her forward to the edge of the table towards her face. Ruby wrapped her arms around Nicole’s sweaty knees, locking her in, and ran her tongue along her soaking cunt, earning another immediate whine from the blonde. She’d tasted a lot in her time as a chef, but Nicole was by far the best thing she’d ever had on her tongue.

The tip of her tongue slowly circled on Nicole’s clit, not giving her a second to catch her breath. She was going to fuck the shit out of her. She was going to fuck every memory of stupid fucking Brad out of her mind. The blonde immediately tried to scoot herself back, the pressure becoming too much, but Ruby yanked her right back.

She moaned against her pussy, “Where do you think you’re going pretty girl?”

“Nnnggh, Ruby,” Nicole propped herself up, looking down at the brown eyes between her slick thighs, “I can’t.”

“You take it so well,” Ruby removed her tongue for a second, replacing it with a finger, slowly moving circles on the nub, “Touch yourself again.”

Nicole’s chest heaved up and down as her fingers ran down her thigh, her middle and ring fingers slowly slipping into her slit. She sighed softly as she began tracing circles again. “Fuck.”

“Say my name,” Ruby whispered.

Nicole closed her eyes as Ruby’s rough hands pulled her knees apart further, she rested her cheek on her inner thigh, Nicole’s swirling fingers just inches from her face. “Ruby…fuck…I need…” Her breath hitched as Ruby’s finger traced her entrance.

“What baby? Tell me what you need.”

“ You .”

The tip of Ruby’s finger just barely slipped inside, teasing Nicole, “M-more.” She whined out, her fingers speeding up.

“Slow down.” Ruby said stern, pulling the finger back out of her, “Say my fucking name.”

“Ruby…please…more I-I need more.” She whined out while slowing down her own pace.

“Whatever you say, babygirl,” She turned her face into Nicole’s thigh and sunk her teeth into the soft skin, and gently inserted her long, slender finger inside of Nicole’s tight pussy. She moved the pad of her finger along the inside, searching for the spot she’d desperately missed.

Nicole’s breath hitched when Ruby ran her finger along it, eyes rolling to the back of her head. She added a second finger and Nicole whined, her fingers never coming off of her own clit. Ruby trailed sloppy, wet kisses up the inside of the blonde’s thigh, licking up any of Nicole’s arousal still left on her legs.

Her legs started to sputter the more Ruby curled her finger on her g spot, soft pleas coming out of her perfect, swollen lips, begging Ruby to fuck her. Ruby’s fingers thrusted more and spread her out, earning moans from the waitress. “Fuck me Ruby, oh fuck me hard.” Nicole panted out as she started to get closer again.

“I’m right here. You look so good for me,” Ruby kissed her inner thigh.

“I can’t…fuck Ruby I can’t,” Nicole cried out, her hips thrusting forwards onto Ruby’s fingers which still moved in and out on her g spot.

Ruby lifted her head and pushed her legs open further than she thought they could go and Nicole yelled out. She then moved that hand into her own boxers, touching herself as Nicole got closer to unraveling in her grasp. “Fuck, you’re so close aren’t you?”

The blonde’s tits bounced as she moved her hips on the table and she nodded, almost grunting out as she got closer to coming a second time. Ruby’s fingers circled on her own clit as she watched Nicole climb higher and higher, moaning out together in the heat of the dining room. Their bodies were a sweaty mess both covered in their own wetness.

“Wait for me, princess, wait for me,” Ruby called out as Nicole started to sputter under her touch, “I’m… fuck …right behind you.” Ruby stared at her through bleary eyes, her own climax quickly approaching. Watching Nicole is all she needed to get off. Her fingers kept thrusting inside Nicole.

“Ruby please…” Nicole cried out, as she continued to rub her clit, “I can’t take anymore.” Tears were rolling down her cheeks as her mouth hung open, soft moans and whimpers coming from her swollen lips.

Ruby started to moan louder as the feeling built low in her stomach, she sped up, her forearms burning but she didn’t care. She just wanted Nicole to feel good. Her brows furrowed and she felt herself tip over the edge, falling quickly into the pleasure. Nicole unravelled almost immediately as well, her muscles spasming on Ruby’s rough fingers.

The girls came together, the room full of whines and cries of the other girls name. Nicole moved the hand holding her weight onto Ruby’s head between her legs, sitting up and grabbing onto her hair. Ruby looked up at her and almost fell apart into tears.

She looked like an angel to Ruby, her soft bleached curls shining in the dim light of her dining table. The way her tits sat perfectly, bouncing slightly as she finished riding out her high, the way her mouth whined out Ruby’s name. It took everything in Ruby not to get down on one knee and beg Nicole to marry her, to run away and start a life together far from LA and Bistro Huddy and Brad. Just them.

They sat in the quiet of the dining room, panting and clinging onto each other for dear life. Nicole moved her fingers from her clit and traced Ruby’s mouth as the redhead removed her fingers and shifted onto her knees. They both stuck their fingers into each others mouths, their tongues swirling, both tasting Nicole’s sweet cum, cheeks hollowing as they stared at each other.

Ruby removed her fingers and stood up, Nicole followed, her legs shaky and numb and holding herself steady on the butch. Their mouths found each others again, more gentle this time. Ruby’s hand rested on Nicole’s cheek as she brought their faces together, hoping to keep them close forever.

“So you were jealous,” She smiled against Nicole’s mouth.

“Ugh, asshole.” She smiled back, wrapping her arms around Ruby’s waist.

Ruby held her close, pushing her head into her chest, petting the blonde hair. It was so soft and perfect, she wished she could freeze time and stay holding her forever. Keep her locked away so she could never leave her again. This was what she’d wanted. What she’d hoped and prayed for.

Nicole yawned, her eyes becoming heavy.“Come on,” Ruby planted a soft kiss on her head, “Let’s go to sleep.”

Nicole held her arms up to Ruby, and she picked her up bridal style and carried her into her bed. Last time Nicole was in her bed, the sheets were soaked and she had her face pressed into the mattress. But this time was gentle. It was scary, almost, having Nicole lying in her sheets undressed in a different way than before, even if it started the same. Once she got closer, Ruby gently set Nicole down onto her bed and crawled in beside her. She lay flat on her back, opening her arms up for Nicole who quickly slid in and nuzzled her head on the front of Ruby’s shoulder.

Her arm pulled the blanket up over Nicole’s bare back and pulled her closer. Nicole and Ruby’s legs got tangled under the sheets and she rubbed Nicole’s back.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,”Ruby murmured against Nicole’s sleepy head.

Nicole hummed gently, already falling asleep, “I’m glad I came. I was driving to Brad’s but,” She sighed. “I didn’t want him.” She looked up at Ruby, “I wanted you.”

Ruby couldn’t help the feeling of victory coursing through her veins. She didn’t want him. She wanted her. “Does he know?”

“No. Not sure he will.” Nicole shrugged and tucked her head back under Ruby’s chin and she rested her cheek on the top of Nicole’s head. Her body got heavier as Ruby rubbed her back, making it impossible for her to stay awake.

Ruby’s mind raced more than she cared to admit. How to tell Kylie she wasn’t interested anymore. How lucky she was that Nicole was finally hers. Or was she? She didn’t want to think about it anymore. The crickets outside her window got louder in the heat of the night.

The words beat at the back of Ruby’s teeth, being swallowed down as her mind urged her to sleep. But she couldn’t look away as the moonlight glowed on Nicole’s pale skin, her beauty captivating the redhead. She looked like a painting.

The words slipped out of her mouth silently as she pressed her lips to the forehead of the angel asleep in her arms.

“I’m in love with you.”

Ruby closed her eyes, and fell into the warm embrace of sleep.

Chapter Text

Goosebumps formed across her skin as Nicole slowly came to and the cold chill of the room kissed her flesh. The sun beamed through the sheer curtains and blinded Nicole —probably burning her retinas—and instantly she felt a headache bloom behind her eyeball. Her eyelids fully fluttered open, sleep still clinging onto them and her stomach dropped when she looked around. For a moment, she forgot where she was; Brad’s apartment didn’t look like this.

His room was all grey and black, with huge floor to ceiling windows that faced the city, he had senseless art he probably found on Amazon with silver frames to match. There were usually magazines and books with crisp pages and unbroken spines adorning his bookshelves. His bed was a king with a thick black duvet and soft gray sheets. The room usually spotless save for their clothes once they got inside.

But this room was different. Not entirely unfamiliar but still a room she had to think hard about. The bed was smaller with an arching metal frame and a black and white floral quilt which she had tucked under her chin. The dark walls were covered in frames, pictures from childhood, old thrifted art, pictures from school, band posters, and mirrors. There were shelves of classic literature, cookbooks, pride flags, old trinkets and figurines. Nicole looked at the night stand next to her where her phone—which she’d left in the other room—was plugged in, a stack of fresh clothes, and a glass of water waited. Yes, she knew this bedroom. It was one she dreamt about.

The body behind her definitely wasn’t Brad, either. It was taller and thicker than his. A heavy arm lay on Nicole’s waist, wrapping around her body and held her closer than he ever did in the mornings. Lines of ink flowed up the skin and Nicole traced them with her finger, memorizing every curve and detail of the paintings on the dark arm. The hair on the back of her neck stood up with each hot breath from the mouth behind her. When the palm pressed flat against her stomach, pulling her impossibly closer, Nicole’s stomach flipped. A brush of lips on her spine sent a chill down her whole body and she melted into it. Quiet breathing. Light touches.

It was gentle. It was soft. It freaked her out.

The itch in her feet that told her to bolt ran up her entire body. Her mind screamed at her to get out. Leave and never look back. But she closed her eyes anyway, praying that whatever force was filling her with dread would leave her alone for once and let her enjoy the soft sunlight trickling in, the warmth of the body next to her, the song of the birds reminding her that she’s alive, and the steady heartbeat in her chest.

“Morning,” A raspy voice hummed out as the lips trailed kisses from behind her ear all the way down her neck and to her shoulders. Nicole closed her eyes and tilted her head back as the tingle spread across her skin.

Ruby. Oh sweet Ruby. Ruby who had her screaming. Ruby who held her close all night. Ruby who took the time to get her water and make sure her phone was charging. The very one who made her rethink commitment. The one who terrified her to no end.

That Ruby .

“Can’t lie,” The redhead huffed out as she pushed her warm cheek onto Nicole’s spine, “I really thought you’d be gone.”

Nicole felt like she’d been punched, despite it being an entirely justified and deserved thought. The last time they hooked up she’d left in the middle of the night without such as a word. They’d been laying in bed, giggling from a post sex high. Ruby was stroking her hair, eyes wide and sparkling like she was looking at the Milky Way, a stupid cheeky grin plastered on her face.

She’d chuckled softly to herself, “I think you’re perfect. Like insane. Everything about you: your nose, your hair, your cheeks, chin, your lips,” Ruby’s mouth planted soft kisses after each word.

Nicole’s stomach turned inside her, flaps of emotional butterflies flying around and up into her throat. She had almost wished she could throw them up. Ruby. Ruby? Her name danced across Nicole’s tongue as the sous chef rubbed her cheek, a stray thumb gently touching Nicole’s kiss-swollen lips. Her heavy eyes fluttered fighting sleep but eventually shut altogether.

Ruby.

Visions swirled around Nicole’s mind of Ruby. Of them. Together. Holding hands, kissing at the red lights, dates, Ruby getting on one knee, Nicole in a white dress seeing her from down the aisle. Ruby. A future with her. A life. A real one beyond hookups and mindless flirting. The spark lit low in her stomach, and she instantly felt sick staring at the naked butch asleep next to her. She had to get out.

Nicole had slipped out of bed and grabbed whatever clothes she could find first, not caring if they were hers or not, and snuck out of the apartment leaving Ruby alone in her bed. Once she had gotten outside she gasped for air, the fresh air stung her lungs, like she’d been holding her breath for hours underwater and this was the first time she’d breathed in oxygen. Nausea rushed over her whole body as the visions of Ruby stayed in her mind, begging to be acknowledged. She threw up in the bushes.

She sat on the curb with her head in her hands, tugging at her hair and praying it would pull the memories out. It was just sex. It wasn’t real. Why was she thinking about relationships? This was not how she felt about friends with benefits. Not how she felt about Brad. She couldn’t care less about a wedding or a future with him. But it’s all she could see with Ruby on the other side of it.

Legs wobbly and stomach contracting, Nicole got in her car and drove. She didn’t know where she was going but she knew she had to get away from Ruby. From her feelings. Her foot pressed the pedal to the floor as she sped into the city blasting music to drown out the apparitions. Nicole banged on the door until she felt like her knuckles might bleed from the impact until finally it swung open, a sleepy Brad rubbing his eyes, and Nicole had lunged forward onto him, praying his lips, his grasp, his dick would push the thoughts of Ruby out.

Nicole snapped back to reality and turned over to her other side to face Ruby, “No…no, I’m here.” Her hand caressed the face of the woman beside her who pulled her in closer until their stomachs touched. Ruby touched her lips onto Nicole’s, soft at first but slowly deepening the kiss, moving their mouths open. Her hand pressed into the small of her back and Nicole moved her hand from Ruby’s cheek to the back of her head and pushed more into the kiss.

Ruby pulled away, “You hungry?”

Nicole nodded, looking up at Ruby. Her soft skin shined in the early morning light setting her red hair ablaze. Ruby’s tattooed arm rubbed Nicole’s side, the muscles flexing as she did so. The brown eyes looking back at her were full of love and admiration, soft and kind. Gentle smiles adorned her lips. She was real and in front of Nicole. Living and breathing just like her. She wasn’t scary. She wasn’t a far fetched idea of a life together. She was close. So close their legs intertwined and their hungry stomachs growled as one. Their bodies moved together in a dance that was so natural to them it felt like it’s what they were supposed to do. Like they were supposed to be together. Maybe that was the problem.

Ruby and Nicole threw the quilt off and slid out of bed, quickly getting dressed. As they walked towards the kitchen, Ruby interlocked their fingers and Nicole felt her heart start to race. Stay . Dishes from the night before were still stacked in the sink and their clothes were next to the table. As Ruby rummaged in her fridge for their breakfast, Nicole picked the clothes up off of the floor and walked over to the stacked washer dryer in the corner. It was almost like this was their morning routine. Like they lived together. It was comfortable.

They turned on music as Ruby fried some eggs and potatoes in the pan, the aroma of garlic and chili filling the air, and Nicole watched her. The way her arm jostled the food around the pan and how her back flexed. How her pajama pants sat low on her hips, the tease of boxers sticking out the top. She’d slipped on the oversized shirt and boxers that Ruby had left out for her. It smelled like her. A smell that engulfed Nicole’s senses and made her smile. One that had not gone unnoticed by Nicole since the holiday party. Jasmine, vanilla, and cigarettes.

“Who is this?” Nicole asked her forearms leaning on the bar in Ruby’s cozy kitchen, gesturing to the speaker sitting on her bookshelf.

“Uh, Pierce the Veil,” Ruby said over her shoulder not looking back at Nicole. She was starting to toast some bread.

“Never heard of them. Screaming seems a bit intense for,” Nicole glanced at her phone, “9am.”

A small chuckle left Ruby as she turned around, using her hands to rest on the counter behind her, “Figured. What did you have in mind, princess?”

Her stomach flipped at the pet name—like it always did—and she pushed off the counter and sauntered her way around the bar to Ruby, who put her hands on Nicole’s waist and her arms went around Ruby’s neck, “Hmm not sure. Where’s your phone?”

The chef tilted her head towards the dining table before planting a kiss on Nicole’s cheek and turning around back to the food sizzling on the stove. Nicole felt her cheeks flush as she let go and walked over to the table, picking up the phone looking at the crying bride on the album cover. Her thumb tapped in Ruby’s password as she called it out to her and scrolled through her Spotify trying to decide what to listen to.

When she clicked on the playlists button, her heart skipped a beat seeing a playlist called, “songs from her” and she looked up at Ruby, who was starting to plate their food and brew coffee. Nicole opened the playlist and her mouth fell open slightly before she snapped it shut. It was every song she’d ever mentioned to Ruby, sent her, or posted on her story compiled in a single playlist. Her stomach swirled as she looked at the songs. Ruby saw her and payed attention. She pressed play and a lighter song came over the speakers.

Ruby set a steaming mug of coffee down in front of Nicole, who wasn’t paying attention, “Oh can I have-“

“Vanilla syrup and almond milk. Yeah. I already got that for you.” Ruby leaned on the counter, her mouth slightly smirking. Her eyes flicked down to her phone and back up to Nicole, face instantly getting as red as her hair. “Oh, uh.”

“You saved every song?” Nicole whispered softly, her eyes never leaving Ruby’s. She could feel her heart thumping in her chest and her fingers tingled.

Ruby swallowed hard, eyes blinking a hundred times a second, “Y-yeah.”

The phone buzzed in Nicole’s hands, gaining her attention. It was a text from Kylie. Nicole’s heart sunk to the floor and her mouth got dry as she read the text. Something about last night and already missing her with a kissy and winky emoji and a photo attached. It was small but she could make out a bare chest. Nicole’s eyesight went fuzzy before her eyes snapped back up to Ruby, who was inches from her face, not looking at the phone.

“Uh…Kylie texted you.” Nicole held the phone out.

“Oh.”

Nicole sat up, trying to push the sinking feeling down as Ruby grabbed the phone from her. “Yeah.”

Ruby’s eyes grew wide as she looked at her phone. Silence hung between them. Nicole wasn’t sure why she was angry. Kylie had only been at Ruby’s less than 24 hours ago, it’s not like she’d disappear overnight, despite her wishing she would.

Nicole broke the silence, “Guess you’re still seeing her, huh?”

Ruby locked her phone, setting it screen down on the tile countertop and moved to the stool next to Nicole. Her hand rested on her pasty thigh, “No. Technically yes. But no. I don’t want to see her anymore. I decided that before last night.” Nicole forced her eyes to lock with Ruby’s again, “I want you.”

The words raced in Nicole’s mind terrifying her. I want you too. They’re the same words she’d said to Ruby last night. Yet when said to her, it filled her with a chill seeping into her bones and forced her heart to pick up the pace. She’d fucked it up with Ruby so many times she’s surprised that she even opened the door last night and let her in. Every time Ruby had held her, asked her out, fucked her, and kissed her it scared the shit out of her.

Her whole life she was told nobody was going to love her because of who she was.

Nicole was terrified of love because she didn’t think she would ever deserve it.

And she truly believed she didn’t.

Which is why attention and mindless flirting were her appeal. It didn’t mean anything to her or to them. It wasn’t real love. Hookups with Brad or anybody else were easy and empty and never once did she ever gain any emotional attachment to them.

But she felt it for Ruby. The flush of her cheeks when Ruby and her locked eyes, the butterflies low in her stomach when their skin grazed as they passed each other in the hot kitchen, the press of her lips on Nicole’s or how she looked at her like nobody else in the world existed. She felt it so deeply. And Nicole did anything to ignore it.

Except now she was in Ruby’s clothes, in her apartment, skin burning as they touched bare shoulders at the bar and ate the breakfast Ruby made together. Like it was normal. It was very ‘girlfriend’ of them. Domestic and intimate. Ruby refilled her coffee when it ran low and rubbed her lower back on the barstool. They sat on the couch snuggling up to each other, hardly watching the nostalgic cartoons that lit up the television.

Ruby would lift Nicole’s chin up to touch her lips to hers, making her body feel warm and happy but nauseous still. She tucked herself into Ruby, trying to let herself feel and the redhead’s fingers traced her spine. They talked about everything and nothing. Yet, never acknowledging the elephant in the room.

What happens next?

—————————————————————

“Fuck me on the table,” Nicole frantically panted into Brad’s mouth as their hands fumbled with the clothes on their bodies.

Brad pulled back, his eyebrows knit together and almost stumbling out of his jeans as he pulled them down, “What?”

Nicole rolled her eyes, her hands pulling her thin t-shirt over her head, “I want you to fuck me on the table. It’s not like we’ve never done it.” She shrugged.

“You just seem very eager about it is all.” Brad smirked pulling Nicole closer again, his lips pressing against hers and their bare stomachs touching.

She moved her head to the side and Brad’s hungry mouth moved to her neck, “Yeah. We’re already over here. Seems hot.“

They stumbled over towards the dining table and Nicole hoisted herself on the flat top, pulling Brad between her spread legs. His cold hands made their way up her bare sides to the back of her bra. The mouth Nicole tolerated kissed down her neck and onto her soon to be exposed chest. When the bra was unhooked, Brad threw it aside before staring at her chest.

“Whoa,” He whispered, eyes wide.

“Dude, really? Come on, you’ve seen them before.”

Brad shook his head, “Did I leave those?”

Nicole looked at him confused before finally glancing down at her bare chest. There were dark red and purple bruises on her breasts starting to turn yellow around the edges. Crescent moon shaped marks on her skin facing each other. She thought back to Ruby sucking her skin and biting the flesh like she was a vampire and how much Nicole had loved it.

Nicole looked back at Brad, his eyes beaming with pride over work that wasn’t his, “I…I guess so.”

“Damn, I’m good,” The server’s lips made their way back to Nicole’s, kissing her with more passion than before. Nicole pulled against him standing between her open legs and pushed her aching center onto his hardening dick.

Brad was standing only in his underwear, clearly flexing his muscles for the blonde, and she had to close her eyes before rolling them. His hands roamed all over Nicole’s body one reached up to her nipple and rolled it between his fingers. Brad was never bad. He knew what to touch and how to touch it. They’d slept together enough times for him to know her. Not well . Just enough .

His fingers undid her shorts and tried his best to slide them off of her, which just ended up being awkward. He continued to kiss her sloppily and her hips thrusted against his, the lacy fabric rubbing against her desperate clit. Nicole leaned herself back on the table and Brad started to chase her lips, and his fingers moved to touch her through her underwear.

She closed her eyes and let the sounds sneak out from behind her lips. Even she wasn’t sure if they were real or not. Behind the closed eyes, she saw Ruby. How she’d bite her lip while watching Nicole ride her pleasure. The praises she’d called out as Nicole got closer. The way her fingers brushed against her center. Every thought swirling in Nicole’s mind turned her on more and the moans and sighs leaving her mouth shifted to something that felt real.

“Oh Ruhhhh-“ Nicole caught herself. She sighed, “ Brad . Oh…Brad.”

Her hands moved up his chest to his hair while his lips sucked her neck, his fingers continuing to rub her, pushing her underwear to the side. She hopes he didn’t catch it. But the slightest part of her wished he did. Brad’s dense and full of himself, she doubted he noticed. His mouth pushed onto hers again, tugging her bottom lip.

The more images of Ruby swirled around her mind, the closer she felt herself getting. Heat burned between her thighs, Ruby seared into her brain, and her eyes stayed glued shut. She can’t look. Not yet. Her hips twitched as Brad moved her closer to the edge, yet Ruby’s the reason she did. Nicole’s head tilted back as her mouth hung open, trying to swallow down the name chanting in her head like a prayer.

Her fingertips reached out, eyes still squeezed shut, and gripped the hair she wished belonged to Ruby. Instead, it was Brad. She finally opened her eyes to look at the light brown strands clutched in her fingers. Not him. Never him. She wondered what Ruby’s hair looked like before she touched it. Bleached and colored. If it was long or short as she keeps it now. How her arm looked before the first tattoo she got and what made her decide on the first. She thought about Ruby’s freckled cheeks, the dimples beside her toothy, crooked smile. Her dark skin. What her family looks like. Her dad. Her mom.

As Brad slid her off the table and bent her over. She pulled her underwear down as he wrapped up before inserting himself into her. She tried to focus on the moment. Not on the memory of the chef beating in the back of her skull, stitching her name into Nicole’s brain, begging her to come home and crawl into her bed. Each thrust from Brad reminded her to stop thinking about Ruby, as badly as she didn’t want to. Her mouth emitted breathy moans. Pretending.

Brad was speeding up and slowing down. Occasionally, he’d slap Nicole’s ass or grab her hair and tug her head back, to which she’d reply with a showy moan. Moaning his name as loudly as she could. Praises. Anything to make it feel real for him. For her. At some point he pulled her arms behind her back, holding on to her wrists like she was getting arrested. She couldn’t wait for it to be over. Which wasn’t too long later.

Brad collapsed forward onto Nicole after he finished. He tried to kiss her, but she was distracted. Pulling out, he cocked an eyebrow as Nicole stood up and tried to fix her hair.

“You good?” Brad asked as he took the condom off and cleaned himself off.

“Yeah! That was great,” She started to gather her clothes, “Exactly what I wanted.” She winked at him. “But I do open in the morning and I need clean uniforms so…uh I gotta go.”

Brad nodded, “Yeah. Totally. That was…” He smirked, “Really good.”

Nicole smiled and nodded, “Always is.” She put her clothes on as quickly as she could hoping the cold of his apartment—her soul— would disappear the faster the clothes got on her body. “Goodnight Brad.” She pecked his lips.

Nicole held it together better than she expected the whole way back to her car, behind the wheel, all the way to her apartment, up the stairs, and inside. But once her body hit the bed, tears flowed from her eyes. The pressure from the night was aching in her abdomen, from both the sex and Nicole’s inability to stop feeling nauseous.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and there she saw two texts. The words hit her like a wall, knocking the air out of her lungs and she ran towards her bathroom, retching.

brad : had a good time baby ;) let’s do the shower next time. can’t wait to see you again

ruby : i hope your night was good <3 text me when you wake up princess. can’t wait to see you again :)

Chapter Text

Ruby’s forehead dripped sweat as the rush finally passed. All at once the kitchen fell into silence for the first time since Ruby had walked in. Joey was in one of his moods, Aaron had messed up almost every order he had, Brad was there, they were buried in tickets, and Terry was breathing down their necks to speed up. Yet, Ruby had kept her calm. It had been a hard shift but it was made easier by the knowing glances shared silently between brown eyes from across the expo table.

To everybody else, Ruby and Nicole seemed to behave the same. Flirtatious teasing, lustful glances, and the soft brush of fingertips as Ruby passed a hot plate across the table into Nicole’s hand. But this time it felt different. For the first time, it felt real. Before their shifts, they sat next to each other in a booth, talking. Gentle and subtle, but enough to make the fire in Ruby’s stomach roar larger and hotter.

Yet, Ruby couldn’t help but also steal glances at the other pair of eyes burning holes through her as she worked the grill. Through the window on the swinging doors, she could see him staring at her with his baby blues. How his hand would rest on Nicole’s back and the way she’d look up at him. Almost like he was betting on Ruby watching. She was. Nicole was being her usual self to everyone, but Ruby was hoping that didn’t include him in the mix.

She could feel her cheeks grow hot the more Brad talked to Nicole. The stupid jokes he’d say to try and make her laugh and the fake half-hearted sound she’d get out each time. Ruby saw the way Nicole’s eyes would look up towards the kitchen to see if she was watching. But never before did the eyes looking back at hers seem so anxious.

She had tried her best to ignore it and work like normal. Nicole was finally hers, wasn’t she? Ruby made the assumption that she was nervous about keeping up the appearances around Brad, yet it still knocked at the back of her skull. How his eyes narrowed when looking at her or the way his top lip and nose would twitch while looking at Nicole. His usually charming stare was hard and full of determination towards Ruby, a promise—or maybe a threat—that Nicole was always his. That she should be his.

He never used to be like this with her. It wasn’t until the holiday party and Nicole referring to her as her work wife that this started. As much as Ruby found him incredibly full of himself and obnoxious, they could at least act reasonable around each other. They didn’t let it effect work or make it obvious their clear disdain for each other. Hell, even Ruby and Nicole used to feud and bicker like a married couple until it shifted one day. But ever since Brad heard about their first kiss, he viewed Ruby’s existence as a competition.

It wasn’t just a workplace rivalry.

It was personal.

A competition with Nicole at the center of it. Used to, she loved the attention from both her and Brad with Nico and Clint also in the mix. It was friendly fire, meaningless jabs at each other. But lately, Ruby noticed how anxious she looked coming into work. Her eyes were tired like she hadn’t been sleeping. Ruby wanted to peek inside her brain and figure out what was wrong. Nicole could turn it off in an instant. Greeting her tables with the fakest of smiles, undetectable if they didn’t know her.

But Ruby knew.

She wondered why Nicole seemed so broken the last few days. If it was her fault. She stepped outside to have a cigarette when Nicole followed out not long after her. Their usual routine. Nicole would smoke on her vape, Ruby’s cigarettes filled the air with burning tobacco.

“You okay?” She asked, her voice quiet and genuine.

Nicole leaned against the wall opposite of Ruby, picking at the skin around her nails. Her eyes lifted to Ruby’s for a second before looking back down, “Yeah? Why?”

The chef sighed, “Because you look exhausted and anxious. Are you sleeping at all?”

“W-what do you mean?” Nicole and Ruby had spent a few nights together, not doing much sleeping. “I mean you know I’m not sleeping much,” The blonde winked at Ruby, who chuckled to herself and brought the cigarette to her lips again.

“True. I guess I have only myself to blame,” Ruby’s voice was quiet, thinking about the purpling bruises Nicole left all over her chest and the ones she left on her.

Nicole took another puff, “Yeah I’ve just been feeling weird, I guess. I think I’m about to start my period or something.“ She looked off towards the parking lot.

Ruby knew it was probably bullshit, but she didn’t push. What she wouldn’t give to be in her head. Her eyes drifted over Nicole’s side profile. The way her nose lifted perfectly and her lips rested in a tight smile. Golden locks fell in her eyes and she pushed them back behind her ear, her eyes caught Ruby. The small smile grew as she fully looked to the chef across the alley.

“What?”

Ruby swallowed hard and put the cigarette out on the brick behind her, “I just can’t believe you’re real.”

Nicole tilted her head, eyebrow raising. She pushed herself off the wall and slowly made her way towards Ruby, “What does that mean?”

Her hands found Nicole’s waist, and her arms went around Ruby’s neck, “I just…” She caught herself before nodding. “I really fucking like you.”

A deep breath filled Nicole’s lungs up, her eyes darting all over Ruby’s face, “I like you.”

Their lips gently found each others once again. Ruby melted into Nicole, as she always did. Nicole knew exactly how to turn Ruby into a puddle without even trying. Her soft brown eyes and gentle touch, the way her voice floats out of her like she’s an angel. How she hums in the car, or the way she sighs in her sleep when Ruby rubs her back. When her nails trace the tattoos on Ruby’s arms, as if she’s memorizing every curve and detail of the ink.

Nicole was everything to her. Every breath she took, every song she listened to, every slice of her knife, each touch, each kiss.

Everything .

It took her fighting every part of her body to not pick Nicole up, hop in the car, and run away. Start a life together away from Los Angeles, Bistro Huddy, their dumb jobs. All of it. Just drive until the road disappears or their tires give out. Whichever came first.

She would start a new restaurant with an apartment above it, where they’d get a cat and a dog. She’d design the menu and perfectly craft every dish. Work so Nicole never had to again. It would be packed and people would be out the door to eat a bite of her food. Every dish would be named after the love of her life.

Ruby would spend months designing the perfect ring for her. Nothing flashy, but not simple with a white diamond in the center. She’d take Nicole on a trip somewhere. Italy? Maybe. The speech would be planned out, but Ruby would stumble over every word and forget. Then, Ruby would speak from her heart. Nicole would say yes.

The ceremony would be small. Just their parents, siblings, and a few friends. Nicole would look like an angel on earth floating down the aisle towards her. Ruby would cry. She always cries when she thinks about Nicole. They’d have kids. Nicole would be mama, Ruby would be mom. If she could, she would run away and live the life that she dreams of.

Yet, it’s all pretend. None of it’s real, despite how badly Ruby wants it to be. Their relationship’s complicated to say the least. They make baby steps. Ruby dreamed of the future, being forced to remember they’re not in her dreams. Instead, they’re still in the alley behind Bistro Huddy, sticky from fryer grease and sweat. Lips locked together, gently moving against each other. Ruby’s thumbs graze either side of Nicole’s jaw, holding her face steady.

Their tongues touch as the gentle kiss turns deeper and Nicole grips onto Ruby’s coat, pulling her as close as she can. Breaths pick up while they kiss and there’s almost a desperation behind it. Like Ruby’s desperate to hold onto this moment, this feeling, for as long as possible. Like Nicole is desperate to show Ruby she cares. That this is what she wants.

Maybe she’s trying to convince herself.

—————————————————————

It had been another rough shift. One of those nights where everyone is fucking everything up. Amber and Joey were fighting, so naturally she flat sat the restaurant, making everybody pay the price. Luckily for them, the rush died quickly because almost everybody was going to the Dodgers game.

Whenever Nicole walked into the kitchen, Ruby’s stomach flipped like it was a middle school crush and she almost had to fight the urge to run away.

“Goooodddd,” She drawled out, tracing her fingers on the cool steel table, “I’m bored, I have like no tables.”

Ruby threw a towel over her shoulder and leaned against the expo, staring at Nicole through the narrow window, “When the rush died, it died.”

Nicole smiled at Ruby before looking down and picking the skin around her black nails. “Is it a little easier back here now? I know it’s been a rough one for you.”

Ruby’s brows knit together. Nicole knew how hard it had been for them back there, getting slammed with every order at once, almost 45 minute wait time for food. God sometimes Ruby hated her job. “Y-yeah. It’s been better. Once Amber and Joey stop fucking fighting and Brad stops looking at me like that-”

Nicole’s head whipped back up, “Brad’s been doing what? Looking at you like how?”

The sous chef chuckled before standing up all the way. Her eyes scanned over Nicole remembering the way she tasted and the sounds she made as Ruby touched her, “You know.”

The blonde’s eyes grew wide and she whipped her head around to look out of the window towards the floor where Brad was greeting his new table.

“Yeah…” Nicole anxiously smiled.

Ruby glanced around the kitchen. Nico was on break, Pickles wasn’t paying much attention, and Joey had stepped into the office to look over an order Terry was about to put in for. No new orders had been sent to the kitchen. She could step away for one second, right? Ruby locked eyes with Nicole who had a slight smile forming on her lips.

Ruby flicked her eyes towards the walk in and looked back to Nicole who had arched her brow. “It’s only Poppy and River,” She whispered. The back door swung open and Nico made his way inside, the smell of his dab pen wafting through the air.

Ruby felt a fire ignite low inside her as Nicole walked past the table towards the walk in. She threw the towel back down onto the table and shouted out, “Hey, I’m going on break.”

“Hey I thought I was next,” Pickles looked up from his phone.

Ruby closed her eyes and looked back over her shoulder, “Pickles you’re in charge.”

“Alright!” He shouted.

Ruby started to walk towards the back door, tuning out the murmurs between Nico and Pickles talking about how he’s in charge while Ruby goes on break and Joey was still working on his order. Once she was certain she was out of eyesight, she quickly moved back towards the walk in, closing the door behind her.

Nicole was leaning up against the shelves with her arms crossed. Her eyebrows were raised, “Pickles in charge, seriously?”

“It’s the only way to make him forget he’s next for break,” Ruby chuckled as she walked over to Nicole.

The last week or so she’d slept over at Ruby’s place. She’s hoped it would help Nicole finally get some rest she hadn’t been getting. She usually left soon after they woke up and had breakfast, sometimes lunch depending on how the night before had gone. She was sleeping more. Ruby checked on her all throughout the night.

“You look beautiful today,” Ruby raised her hand up and brushed away some of Nicole’s hair, tucking it behind her ear.

A pink hue flooded Nicole’s cheeks and she rested her forearms on Ruby’s shoulders, “You’re annoying.”

“What?” Ruby smiled as she touched her hands on Nicole’s waist, her fingers slipping ever so slightly under the tee, brushing her cold skin. “A guy can’t call his girl pretty anymore?”

Nicole widened her eyes, “Your girl?”

Ruby’s mouth opened and closed quickly, “Uh, I don’t know. It just…came out of my mouth, sorry.”

She paused shaking her head. Ruby could see her mind racing, trying to fight her tongue for the words to say, “N-no. It’s fine…” Her mouth hung open before she forced the sound to come out. “I-I kinda liked it.”

Ruby stared at Nicole in disbelief. For the first time ever, she seemed to believe what she was saying.

Without second thought—since they didn’t have long—Ruby pressed her mouth onto Nicole’s. Almost instantly, her tongue was sliding across Ruby’s and her hands quickly found the red hair she loved to hold onto so much.

Ruby’s fingers dug into Nicole’s soft sides, pushing her further against the shelves. The cold metal on her back sent shivers all over her body. A small gasp escaped her lips, quickly followed by a moan which Ruby swallowed. Her thigh found its way between Nicole’s legs and she instantly started to move her hips back and forth, small sounds escaping her lips.

Ruby’s mouth moved to Nicole’s jaw and down her neck. A flat palm pressing against her back to push her into Ruby more. “Watch it, baby. Can you be quiet?”

Nicole nodded, eyes glued shut as she continued to jerk her hips on Ruby’s thigh. The chef’s hands made their way up Nicole’s shirt, touching the skin covered in goosebumps. She let go of Ruby’s red locks, and touched her chest attempting to unbutton the coat and push it off of Ruby’s body.

She worshipped her body, her heart and soul. Nothing could ever come close to the woman in her arms. The rest of the world melted away when they were together. Nobody else existed to Ruby. It was only Nicole. Nicole, Nicole, Nicole.

But the world suddenly became real again the moment the bright light of the kitchen came into the walk in as the door opened. Nicole practically pushed Ruby away and Ruby jumped. Nicole’s shirt bunched around her waist, Ruby’s jacket completely undone. Her hands fumbled with the buttons and tried as quickly as she could to close it back up, while Nicole pushed her shirt down and attempted to fix her hair. Fucking Terry always ruining everything.

“Nicole?”

Fuck.

That’s not Terry.

Ruby knew that voice. Literally the worst possible case scenario.

“What are you doing?“

The blonde’s lips, swollen and bitten, stuttered, “Um. Brad…”

He scoffed, unable to process what he was seeing. “Are you also fucking Ruby?”

She felt her stomach sink. A nauseous feeling washed over her. Her knees felt weak. She looked at Nicole, whose eyes were wide and scared.

“ Also? ”