Archive of Our Own ^beta

　　Vincent always hates sunny days, hates the shadows of trees cast by the sun through the woods. Green branches and leaves, golden tree shadows, the illusion of being slowly burned by the heat of the coat, eyes that could not get opened, and people that he could not help but think of. This is why Vincent is always better at getting along with the night than the sunny day.

　　 However, Vincent also hates rainy days — rather than saying he hates them as much, he hates them more, and this became more and more so over the years — especially since he could no longer move around in a carriage. Private carriages were the last vestige of decency for the last generation of nobles. How Vincent misses the days when he could still laugh at the muddy trouser legs and shoes of a well-dressed man from the bottom of his heart, thinking that the other person was just a shabby man who was trying to get into the upper class but could not hide his poverty. This was even more obvious on rainy days, when a well-dressed Vincent stood out from the crowd who could not even afford a private carriage. Vincent admitted to having little attachment to the title of nobility that the Nightray family had brought to him, and even claimed that he hated it, but again, Vincent was willfully blind to such a fact when it came to the convenience it brought to him.

　　 However, just as the abolition of the nobility was a destined end, the horse-drawn carriages also completely retired from history in just a few decades. Especially after the authorities repealed the Red Flag Traffic Laws that had been maintained for decades to lift restrictions on cars, the coachmen who had gone on strike thousands of times finally turned to the automobile industry quietly. The times have changed in silence. All objects that carry the memories of the past have gradually faded and will disappear one day.

　　 This has also brought a considerable change to Vincent's lifestyle. Vincent did think that the carriage industry would not last long, but after it gradually withdrew from history, Vincent thought he would buy a car soon, but eventually found that in this not-so-large city, there was no place that could not be reached by legs. He began to understand why Gilbert always walked without relying on transportation. Measuring the distance he was moving with his legs also gave him a sense of certainty that he was still alive. Vincent didn't want to always recall the days when he and Gilbert wandered around Sablier at night when they were children, terrified of the endless black towns that seemed to swallow them up. Now, neither Gilbert nor Vincent had to be dominated by this fear. All roads have an end, and so do people’s life. Experiencing the "end" personally brought Vincent an incomparable sense of security.

　　 That was a day when Vincent had long been accustomed to traveling on foot. Too bad that it was a rainy evening when he had to hold an umbrella. Vincent used to deliberately choose side streets to take a detour in order to be late, but that day, Vincent chose to walk on the main street because he liked the reflection on the ground of the warm light cast by the stores on either side of the street. This was a scene that he would never notice if he had taken a carriage before. Such view could not bring much influence to one's life, but because of this, a life without discovering such scenery is just boring. Vincent once thought it was stupid to be happy about trivial things that had nothing to do with him, but now he chose to do it too.

　　 The flowers I take care are growing a little better than in previous years.
　　 Vincent remembered that someone once ran to him only to report such an insignificant thing. Taking care of plants, what a marvelous talent. Does it mean anything to you as a noble of the Vessalius family? Vincent wove mean words in his heart, but when he opened his mouth, he still responded indifferently.
　　 That is truly wonderful, Lady Ada.

　　 It must be a pair of earrings lying in this window that reminded him of this person. Vincent thought he hadn't thought of her of his own accord for decades. But the earrings in the window intuitively reminded him of Ada Vessalius and her caring attitude towards the most insignificant trivialities in life.

　　 This is a jewelry store that is a bit old. Compared with the shops on both sides, the store plaque does own a kind of inferiority that even it is well maintained but is still no better than a new one. To say whether or not it has style, it is just that. The older the mansion of the nobles, the more it can show the power of this family, while the newer the store for the general public, always the better. To put it bluntly, this jewelry store is a bit behind the times in terms of decoration, and even the lights in the store are dim compared to the ones on both sides. Such a jewelry store will not run well. Vincent stood outside the window and looked at that pair of earrings for a while, and then left.

　　 For a while afterwards, Vincent found that he always chose to take this main street when he went out. Of course, he would make up all sorts of excuses for himself, one day to check out a certain store, and the other day to check out another. But eventually, Vincent stopped outside the window of the jewelry store and cast his eyes on the pair of unremarkable earrings.

　　 It was not that Vincent intended to belittle. It is indeed a pair of earrings in the shape of drop earrings that are not trendy in design, but rather have an old-fashioned vibe. Jewelry collectors do love those precious ornaments from the old times, but not just old-fashioned things like this. Not to mention that if ordinary people are willing to spend money on purchasing jewelry, they are much less likely to shop for such an item. But every time he looked at it, Vincent inevitably overlapped it with someone in his memory — how similar the flower pattern outlined by the metal frame is to the plants she once took care, and how the pair of emeralds look like to her eyes, and even the atmosphere that the whole conveys, whether it is simple or inconspicuous — the more he looked at the earrings, the more he can understand the designer's ingenuity. Its "inconspicuousness" is indeed a considerable disadvantage. If Vincent hadn't had personal memories flooding into his mind the moment he saw it, he would not have lingered on it for too long. The color combination of gold and emerald has been out of fashion for a long time. It is unknown if the designer knew this but still did it on purpose, or if he was really just out of touch with the times. Vincent himself is also a person who has studied earrings and other accessories, at least, he is definitely more knowledgeable than his brother. The earrings he has used for the longest time are ruby ​​earrings set in a golden frame, which matches his own atmosphere. The deliberately refined design because of the special color of the gemstone was part of the ingenuity. However, such drop earrings are no longer popular in these days. Vincent has not worn it for a long time, and after taking it off, he feels more and more that his atmosphere now has been quite different from it, and it may not be appropriate to wear it again.

　　 Looking back at the emerald earrings in the window that are also unlikely to be popular now, Vincent couldn't help but wonder what kind of person would be likely to acquire a pair of these out-of-touch pieces in an age when everyone is so eager to keep up with the new age that they are afraid of falling behind. Of course, Vincent has already checked its price, which is a price that he can easily afford, but it seems meaningless to buy some useless things and keep them around. It is not a gentleman's manner to linger outside the store looking into the window. Vincent thought that one day, he should go into the store to see if there are other better works. Vincent stared at the inconspicuous jewelry for a while, and left again.

　　 It is unknown whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, but when he came back, it was still quietly placed there. It can be interpreted as a good thing because it's still there, as if waiting for Vincent; and it's also a bad thing because it means that no one except himself has discovered the value of the earrings. To put it another way, there are no customers at all. It seems that the economy has not kept up with the rise of business. Not to mention the people who would visit this old jewelry store, even other magnificent shops run far worse than expected. This country seems to be still prosperous, but the pace of decline has been unstoppable since the abolition of the Four Great Dukedoms in the previous century.

　　 Vincent recalled what The Intention of Abyss had said to him in front of Glen. Possessing the body of a blonde boy as a vessel for the core, “he” occasionally spoke about what “he” saw in the records of Abyss which told the fate of this country in other parallel worlds. In most worlds, wars have broken out. After entering the new century, a small country from the east of the world has formed an alliance with this country, while a neighboring country has formed an alliance with another Eastern European country. This will eventually turn into a war between that small eastern country and that Eastern European country. Moreover, once the war begins, it will become unstoppable. The different positions of Western European countries on this matter will exacerbated the conflict, and eventually leads to a bigger worldwide war... sounds, all like a dream-like thing, because too horrible to feel real. Glen was just a teenager at the time. He survived the war in restoring Abyss, but if a new war breaks out, he may not have the luck to survive again. However, The Intention of Abyss stated flatly that regardless of whether or not the war breaks out in this world, the decline of this country into the new century is already an inevitable event. Fortunately, Abyss did not fall into the hands of the authorities and become a weapons depot because of the disintegration of Pandora. Vincent didn't like studying the connection between these complicated topics and the war that restored Abyss. He could only be thankful that the large-scale war chain described by The Intention of Abyss did not break out at that point in time. But the decline of the country was indeed irreversible as said. This country did have to pay for its sins. And so did he. He thought, staring at the emerald earrings.

　　 Lost in thought, Vincent didn't realize that the owner of the jewelry store was actually standing near the door waiting for him. He is a small, elderly man. He saw Vincent appear outside the store again from behind his glasses, so he opened the door and invited Vincent in. Vincent only looked up the moment he heard the bell at the door ring, met the sight of the old man who was half out of the store smiling at him, and regretted it from the bottom of his heart. Vincent thought that one day he should go into the store to take a look, but it shouldn't be this day. In the past, Vincent could have utilized his noble status to ignore him and turn around, but now Vincent, as if influenced by someone, would try to treat people around him gently as possible. Therefore, he followed the old man into the store. It was also because of this that he immediately understood another reason why this jewelry store is out of business: the furnishings in the store were also very old, and it really should be redesigned. On the wall behind the counter, there was a portrait of someone unknown, and he even didn't need to study it carefully to know that it was not the work of a famous artist. Being in such a space, Vincent felt a little embarrassed. But the old man said to Vincent cheerfully:
　　"Take any seat you like, sir. I'll fix you a drink."
　　"No, sir, I don't drink."
　　 Let alone drinking, Vincent didn't plan to stay for long, so he looked at the other man who is already holding a bottle of wine in huge confusion.
　　"At least have some water, sir. Just listen to me talk if you don’t mind."

　　 This is also very troublesome. Vincent had to think that there is no tougher one in the world to deal with than an old man who starts to chat endlessly after a few drinks. But even so, Vincent reflexively took the glass handed by the other man and had no choice but to sit down.

　　 Vincent watched the other one happily pour a small glass of wine for himself, and when he just started to drink, confessed: "Sir, I won't stay for long." After hearing this, the old man smiled kindly and said, "There is nothing more sinful in the world than an old man insisting on dragging a young man into chatting. Don't worry, sir. Let's just chat casually like nagging about the recent unpredictable weather." Vincent noticed that even though he drinks, he shows no rude attitude towards others, so there was no reason for him to leave.

　　"I’ll take that, sir. After all, the atmosphere in the store is very nice."

　　 Even Vincent couldn't see clearly in such a dimly lit store, so he could only come up with some insignificant words. The old man just smiled and said that it should be hard for young people to endure the old atmosphere in the store. He looked at the window with Vincent's back to it, and said to Vincent, "Just like the earrings, only those who know it can appreciate it."

　　"That is indeed not a popular design now." Vincent replied without turning back, "But it looks beautiful. Well... At least this is sincere, sir."

　　 He thought the old man would laugh when he heard such flattery, but the old man just looked up at the ceiling as if he was recalling something. "My wife loved it when she was alive."

　　 Is it a relic? Vincent didn't think of this at all. But the old man raised his eyebrows as if he knew Vincent would be surprised by this, and continued his speech, "It's not true to say that it was 'it'. She was a person who is serious about trivial matters, so I have to be accurate. It is a replica redesigned based on the earrings she wore when she was alive. Only the style is the same. The accessories and colors are completely different from the original one."

　　 Vincent didn't know how to respond. Fortunately, the old man continued to talk. "She loved to read William Blake. Among a group of conservative writers, she was only keen on William who was regarded as a madman at the time. Very special choice, isn't it?"

　　"He is indeed a writer with very progressive ideas, sir. It is hard to imagine that in the 18th century, there were writers who expressed their opposition to church traditions and supported women's liberation." Vincent replied, "And progressive ideas are always easy to be denied. No matter how far the times go, they are still behind people’s spirits." Blake's works sold only a few during his lifetime, and only after his death were his literary value excavated by people with good intentions. If this is not ironic enough, though the times have evolved to this day, it has not progressed to what he idealized. This is the end of the overly avant-garde poet. Vincent thought with some irony.

　　"Yes... she had a free soul..." The old man closed his eyes, lowered his head and muttered to himself. "So I still can't come up with an answer. Is our marriage something that has bound her? Could she have had a better future instead of being with the guy who runs a jewelry store?"

　　"But, this is a satisfying marriage for you, sir, isn't it?"
　　"Alas, men are always satisfied with their marriages. Otherwise, you have to spend money to hire others to make sacrifices in order to stand always by your side."

　　 Vincent likes this kind of joke that satirizes the social system. The two laughed together in the store, and the old man poured himself another glass of wine.

　　"Before I did jewelry design, I also did etching. Just like William, right? That must have been when I was not even twenty yet. It's better to say that doing etching gave me the courage to create other forms of art, so I designed that earrings. That is how I met her."

　　"That is a sweet story." Vincent replied, "I'm so glad that madam was willing to appreciate your talent."

　　 And the old man seemed to have heard a joke, slapping his thigh and laughing for a long time before he could collect himself. "Totally the opposite, sir. She rushed in and shouted, ‘How dare one confidently display that jewelry in the store with such bad designs? People passing by would laugh.’"

　　 And the shop owner was young and naive at the time, so he immediately responded with irony, "Is not it a good thing to keep your opinion in your heart? Not everyone will rush over to argue when they see something they don't like." The old man talked about this memory happily, and Vincent found that once the old man became talkative, he was actually much more energetic, as if what he was talking about had just happened.

　　"Madam was a person of character." Vincent nodded, "That's much better than noblewomen who only speak flattery to males in positions of power."

　　"That's all the dregs of the old times. Things from the last century, right? Too long ago. You know, people who live in instability can't choose their own lifestyle. If there is a choice, people are willing to live for themselves. But, yes, of course. She has always been special. No one in the world can replace her."

　　 This is something Vincent didn't want to admit all the time. How could he not know the feeling of only being able to survive by clinging to powerful forces. The lifestyles of those noblewomen were no different from his own at the time. Therefore, Vincent's disgust for them was simply a reflection of his disgust for himself. Vincent wanted to look away from the fact, so he could only demonize those ladies, knowing that they won’t harm him. Even though he knew that his accusations against them were wrong, it was still hard to change old habits.

　　"Sir, I would like to believe that madam also lived a happy life."

　　"I hope so, I hope so. Even if it was the earrings that she disliked at first sight, she still wore them for her whole life. Now, they have followed her to heaven."

　　"It's like a talisman."

　　"It's like a talisman, sir. It's the talisman of her life."

　　 It is clear that it was not the design of the earrings themselves that the shop owner’s wife favored, but the precious memories that the two held between them. And these memories were still taken with her as she passed away. So it's no wonder that the shop owner would redesign a replica. It is indeed important as grave goods, but at the same time the shop owner has lost something to hold on to. It would be better if there was a replica that could be looked at at any time.

　　 Thinking about it, Vincent could understand the owner's intention of making a replica. Vincent listened to the old man talking to him that he was surprised to see a young man like him (this was indeed a bit cunning, because no matter how many years had passed, his appearance remained at 23 years old and would never change. And Vincent was happy to accept being considered "young" by others) would notice that pair of earrings. After all, generally, young people prefer more fashionable styles.

　　 At this moment, a question came up to Vincent’s mind. Yes, this pair of earrings is undoubtedly important to the owner, and he is just a random one who passed by this jewelry store and thus noticed it, and he would never have thought that he would be able to hear the owner tell stories related to it today. Therefore, it is very obvious which one sees it more important. Since it is such a meaningful item, why must its replica be launched as a product? Of course Vincent immediately raised this question that puzzles him. Although he has no idea how long it has been placed in the window, if someone is willing to buy it one day, what will happen to all the memories of it over the past few decades? If it is other things, there is no problem making copies and sell them repeatedly. But Vincent thinks that this earrings should be an exception. It should only be a single piece. And it would be a waste if such a unique piece was bought by someone who doesn't know its background.

　　 The old man seemed very happy that Vincent could offer such an opinion. Having found someone to talk to for the first time in a long time, and not just someone who only nods and listens, but who is able to express his own opinion, inevitably made the old man very appreciative of Vincent. He opened his mouth and said to Vincent:

　　"Do you know why I noticed you, sir."

　　 Vincent was very puzzled. "Because I passed by the window many times, isn't it?"

　　"No." The old man shook his head and said, "Because you too have longing eyes for past love."

　　 Longing eyes for past love. Such a description would always make Vincent think of Gilbert first. He haven't met his brother for several years, only keeps in contact through letters. Therefore, Vincent just traced the face of his elder brother in his memory, because he knows who his brother is always reminiscing. However, would such an expression appear on his own face too? Vincent looked at the old man in disbelief, and found that the expression on the old man's face was exactly what he sees in the mirror every day.

　　 He misses her who has long passed away all the time. This is something he knows from the bottom of his heart, but pretending not to notice it. For the first time, Vincent realized this clearly and felt sad about it. Why does he always look away from his honestest feelings?

　　 Vincent thought he couldn't bear everything related to Ada Vessaliud. She was always too cheerful, too positive, and burned him like the sun. Vincent hated sunny days.

　　 She also had a fatal flaw of never listening to his words. He repeatedly expressed his unwillingness to have any connection with her, but she still walked towards him with a firm will. Vincent hated those ladies who only obeyed his words. They had no own opinions. But Vincent also hated people who would go against his words.

　　 Her concern for trivial matters is also ridiculous. This does not mean that he expected her to pay more attention to some massive issues, which are also boring. However, if it were not for her influence, Vincent would not have discovered the tiny beauty in life just because of something as inconsequential as the lights of shops on rainy days reflected on the ground. It is useless and will not affect his life in the slightest.

　　 But beyond all of that — Vincent still misses her. That is why, when Vincent saw the earrings, he would immediately think of her. Being a noble of the Vessalius family but still clumsy and unpretentious. Even his own self with similar blonde hair had never possessed her blonde hair that gave off a soft luster in the sunlight. Those emerald eyes, if not reproduced in these earrings, would no longer exist in any corner of the world.

　　"There is no value in the feelings that are exclusive to oneself." The old man began to put away his wine glasses and bottles — Vincent noticed that he did not drink much. "As long as you can capture the same feelings in others... yes, as long as others own the same feelings, then no matter who the other person is, this reminiscence will be passed on. The object itself is nothing more than a way to hold on to people’s thoughts."

　　 In other words, it doesn't matter who inherits such feelings. Vincent has never thought about such a thing. Vincent has always believed that personal experience is important, and personal experience plays an important role in forming everyone's personality, just like others cannot copy his life as a Child of Ill Omen. This is a matter of course. But beyond that, people with different life experiences can share the same emotions. Objects that carry past memories will gradually fade and disappear. This is indeed a very lonely thing destined from the beginning. But feelings can be passed on.

　　 The old man put away the bottle and returned to his seat. "It may not be convincing for an old man like me in a jewelry store to say this, but, sir." He looked directly into Vincent's eyes, "Accessories are just accessories. It's only after you wear it on your body that it takes on meanings."

　　 Vincent looked at the other one speechlessly.

　　 Her death was too early for him. This was inevitable throughout the development of the times. Occasionally, there are some ordinary humans who live long lives, but most of them die in late middle age. She, who had done good deeds all her life, is just one of them who cannot defy the laws of nature. Even if she is from the Vessalius family, she is just an ordinary human. People nowadays have a much longer lifespan than those in the past. If she were born in this era, Vincent wonders what kind of trivial things she would come to him to report. Vincent never doubted that if he hadn't deliberately avoided her, she would definitely find him.

　　 Vincent decided to find a time to visit her grave as soon as possible. Maybe, he could also tell her the story of the earrings. She is a romantic person and should love this story.

　　 As leaving the store, Vincent remembered one last thing. He turned around and said to the old man, "I know some people who are good at store design, sir. The interior of this store really needs to be renovated."

　　 The old man smiled and waved his hand, saying that this was just a jewelry store with no rare treasures. It should have been eliminated by the times, not to mention hiring someone to renovate it.

　　 But Vincent just smiled at him. "The portrait of madam should also be hung in a brighter place. It is a great work, more valuable than any portrait painted by a famous artist, sir."

Can I see another’s woe,
And not be in sorrow too?
Can I see another’s grief,
And not seek for kind relief?

——Excerpt from Songs of Innocence and Experience by William Blake