Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sam was waiting on the side of the dark road, leaning against the Impala. The only light sources were the car's headlights and the blinking stars above. He tapped his fingers against his legs impatiently: he didn't have much time to get back before Dean woke up and realized dear Sammy had taken his Baby without permission. And Sam, for one, did not want to see what would happen in that case. 

Finally, a figure appeared nearby, just far enough to stay in the shadows. 

"You said you needed a favor?" the figure asked. 

Sam's eyes lit up when he heard Gabriel's voice. He nodded and gestured to the angel to come closer. 

"It's about Dean," Sam said once Gabriel arrived next to him. 

"It's always about Dean, isn't it?" Gabriel sighed. "What did he do this time?" 

"Well, excuse me for caring for my brother!" Sam got a little defensive. "And it's not what he did, more what he didn't do." 

"Explain..." 

"He refuses to realize he has a thing for men. First, it was just guys on TV..." 

"Dr. Sexy, I know," Gabriel interrupted him, chuckling at the memory. 

"Then Cass, now Benny too... And he just refuses to see it, even though it's obvious!" Sam gestured with his arm to add weight to that obvious. 

"And I assume you want me to do something about it?" Gabriel crossed his arms. 

"Yeah... If you could work your reality-warping-magic-thing, and... I don't know, make Dean face his feelings or something, I would be really grateful!" Sam asked, no, begged his partner. 

Gabriel sighed and thought about it for a long, long second. He wasn't sure he wanted to get involved in this whole thing (though peeping on Dean did sound fun). But when he looked up into Sam's eyes, it wasn't even a question. He bit his lip, knowing full well those brown puppy-eyes had him in a chokehold: he could never say no to his Sammy. 

"Fine... I'll put Mr. Totallyheteromatchoman on a little inner journey with his three boytoys," Gabriel agreed. "But you owe me one for this!" he added. 

"Thank you so... wait, three? Who's the third?" 

"Well, Crowley, of course..." Gabriel didn't understand the source of Sam's confusion. 

"Crowley? Are you kidding me?" Sam was shocked.

"Baby, this is my serious face!" Gabriel pointed at his face in total seriousness. "Have you not heard?" he asked, and when Sam shook his head, he grinned. "Ohhhh... So, rumor has it, Crowley totally has the H.O.T.S. for your brother. And he swears Dean likes him too, just haven't made a move yet, or whatever." 

"Huh, really?" Sam gasped. 

"That's the gossip in supernatural circles," Gabriel repeated, making a circling motion with his fingers. "Even if it's not true, it will be fun to watch!" he smiled in that mischievous way, the same way he did any time he was up to some fucking around. 

"Ehh, I won't watch," Sam made a grossed-out face. "I'd rather not see my brother going to town." 

"I'll commentate then," Gabriel offered, then he abruptly disappeared to set up this trick... 

Chapter Text

The dark road seemed endless: just the concrete below, the starless night sky above, and the thick wall of trees on each side. It was almost claustrophobic, especially since Dean was getting more and more convinced that he was just going in a circle. What else would explain that this was the seventh "Welcome to Ohio" sign with the same red graffiti he drove past in the last three hours? But just as he started to zone out from the monotony, a man stepped in front of him. Dean hit the brakes as fast as he could, his heart suddenly pounding like crazy. He looked out to see who was the idiot who just waltzed onto the road, but all he could see was a trench coat. A very familiar trench coat... 

"Cass?" Dean asked as he stepped out of the car. 

"Hello Dean," Castiel looked at him with the usual piercing blue eyes. 

"What the hell, man? I could've hit you!" 

"You wouldn't," Castiel seemed abnormally calm about this whole situation. Although, to be fair, everything about Cass was abnormal. 

"What are you doing here? Wherever here is..." Dean asked. 

"I came to see you. Could you give me a lift?" 

"Sure... But I thought angels could fly?" Dean was getting more and more confused by the second. 

"We can. I would just prefer this method of transportation," Castiel explained. 

"Alright then," Dean gestured at the car, then sat in himself. "What the hell is going on?" he mumbled under his breath. "Where to?" he turned to Cass. 

"Nowhere straight." 

"O-okay..." 

Dean's mind was already spinning, trying to find an explanation for all of this as he turned the car around and started driving in the opposite direction as before. Was he dead? In Hell? Heaven? He didn't feel dead... and he was pretty sure he would if he was. So was he dreaming? Nah, not even his mind could create something this weird. Djinns? No, this was hardly his best or worst possible life. Then what the fuck was going on? 

"Someone's messing with my head," he mumbled again, not even realizing he said his thoughts out loud. 

"What?" Cass turned to him. 

"Nothing! Sooo, what have you been up to lately?" 

"Heavenly duties," Castiel said very seriously. "But I couldn't take it anymore. I had to come see you, Dean," right as he said this, Cass put his left hand on Dean's knee and slowly dragged it up his thigh. 

Dean gulped at the touch. The movement was all too familiar, yet it felt brand new coming from Cass, and this combination was enough to send a blush creeping up Dean's face. 

"Cass?" Dean asked, but his voice cracked, so he cleared his throat before speaking again. "Cass, what are you doing?" 

"I missed you so much..." Castiel leaned closer, his voice breathy. 

Dean felt his body heating up, his head getting dizzy. - Nonononono, not again!!! - he thought to himself, getting desperate. This wasn't the first time something like this happened: there were, in fact, many moments in the past when Castiel did or said something that made Dean's mind go blank and sent bolts of lightning down his spine. But in all of those times, they were not alone or they had something important to do, which helped Dean shake those nasty, intense feelings off. But now? Now they were alone, in the middle of the night, deep in the woods, in the car. Now, Cass was purposely trying to turn Dean on. (Where did he learn that anyway? From another pizza man?) Now, Dean had a chance to fulfill some of his thoughts without consequences. 

"Tonight, you and me, then we never speak of this again. Deal?" Dean asked in a hurry as he quickly parked the Impala on the side of the road. 

"Fine, if that's how you want it... Just come closer!" Castiel ordered, then pulled Dean into a kiss by his collar. 

Dean gasped at the sudden gesture, but didn't hesitate to kiss back, heavy and hot and hungry. He's been dreaming of this moment for so long in secret, not even letting himself ponder the possibility. It just all felt... dirty before. Like his dad always said, there are people and abominations, and Dean always feared these feelings made him a part of the latter. But here, now, everything felt right, like this was the way it should've been this whole time. 

Trying not to break their kiss, Castiel carefully climbed over into Dean's lap. Once he found a comfortable spot to sit on, he buried his fingers in Dean's soft hair, then grabbed it tight and yanked Dean's head upwards so he could gain better access to the man's neck. Dean moaned at the movement and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Castiel's trail of kisses on his neck and along his collarbone. He never thought he'd love handing over the dominance this much, but in that moment, it felt as obvious as breathing. Dean already felt himself melt into the car seat, letting all of the senses and emotions just wash over him and drown him completely, when: 

"If you wanna love when you touch the sky, You can be my midnight rider," Cass whispered into his ear, and suddenly the illusion started to fade. 

"Huh?" Dean let out a huff, but by the time he opened his eyes, it was all gone. The car, the road, Cass, it was all gone. 

Dean was standing alone, in a forest, the sun just rising on the horizon. 

Chapter Text

"Fuck!" Dean yelled as he looked around. "Either it's a dream or I really pissed someone off," he started thinking out loud. 

He quickly went through the options, but since he still wasn't sure where or what kind of mental state he was in, it felt safer to just go along with it. Of course, this wasn't easy: for one, he was already worked up, for two, he was now stuck with the uncomfortable realization that he was more than ready to sleep with Castiel right then and there. But he quickly told himself that he'll unpack that later, and now was the time to do, not think. 

So he randomly picked a direction and started walking, hoping to find a way out of this imagination-forest. It couldn't have been long, twenty, maybe thirty minutes 'till he stumbled upon a cabin. It looked lived-in, at least judging from the truck parked in front and the lack of broken glass, trash, or overall creepiness. He knocked on the front door, but there was no answer. So he walked around to the back, and there he found the owner of the place: none other than Benny Lafitte. Dean cursed under his breath when he saw the vampire. - Damn, is this going to be an acid trip with all men I've had those thoughts about? - he thought to himself. 

Because yes, Dean very much had those thoughts about Benny. In fact, in Purgatory, they got dangerously close to doing something as well, but Dean always chickened out. Just like with Cass, he felt scared to cross that line. It's as if a dam was in his mind, keeping all he was taught was "wrong" in check. But he always knew that this dam was fragile and even the slightest action could break it completely. 

Well, now it was broken. 

Dean shook his head. - Fuck it, if I have to be gay for this dream to end, then I will! - and with that thought, he stepped out of the cover of the cabin wall and walked up to Benny. 

"Dean! I thought I'd never see you again!" Benny greeted him with a slight confusion in his voice. 

"Well, me too..." Dean chuckled awkwardly. "It wasn't on purpose, I just got lost in the woods," he said honestly. There was no reason to lie, this wasn't real anyway. 

"Ohh, I see," Benny nodded. "I could give you a ride to the main road. Or you could stay for a little," he said, and handed Dean a beer. 

"I don't have to hurry," Dean smiled, and took the beer. 

"I'll just finish this in a minute, 'right?" Benny asked, pointing at the pile of wood next to him. 

"Sure thing," Dean nodded. 

Then he just stood there and watched as Benny raised the axe and chopped the pieces of wood up. For the first time, Dean let his eyes linger freely on the other man, his muscles tensing under the flannel shirt, his small grunts as he struck down with the axe, each time with excellent precision. For the first time, Dean didn't try to hide how it made him feel. 

"Enjoying the show?" Benny looked up as he tossed the last piece into a basket, then wiped the sweat off his forehead. 

"Can't say I'm not..." 

"Are you still afraid?" Benny asked, and Dean knew immediately what he referred to. 

"A little... but not enough to stop me," he admitted, which earned a smile from Benny. 

"Then... if you may..." he hinted at as he stepped closer to Dean. 

"Please!" Dean begged, his voice quiet and breathy. 

They never got inside. Instead, Benny picked Dean up by his thighs like he weighed nothing, and pushed him against the cabin's wall. Dean let out a soft moan at this, he couldn't help it, Benny's vampiric strength was always insanely attractive to him (superhuman abilities were kind of Dean's thing). He pulled Benny closer by the neck and kissed him deep, tongue sliding across fangs that were barely peeking out of the vampire's gums. Benny's hands started to explore under Dean's shirt while he was hanging onto the other like his life depended on it. Dean breathed in sharply, trying to enjoy the moment until it lasted. 

"Do you wanna know what the good, good, bad things all feel like?" Benny whispered into Dean's ear. 

"Not again!" Dean groaned, but it was too late. 

The forest, the cabin, Benny, they were all poof. 

Dean looked around, only to see he was in an alley in some city. 

"This is really not funny, you know?!" he yelled, to who? Hopefully the person behind all of this... if there was even someone out there controlling this whole thing... 

Chapter Text

Dean sighed in frustration. When will this game end? He didn't know, but he really wanted to get out. Besides, he thought he had gone through everyone? What other hidden gay crush could be there? Maybe he's forgetting something. Or perhaps the whoever doing this messed something up. Either way, he wouldn't get answers just by sitting on the ground, shaking his fist at the sky like some lunatic who just lost faith in God. After all, he never had a faith to begin with. 

With this comforting thought, Dean stood up and walked out to the main street, trying to find a clue that would tell him where to next. But when he saw it, he was a mere thread away from punching something. Because right in front of him stood the club he knew way too well: Purgatory, in all its neon glory. Well, the one in Miami, anyway. Not like there was much difference: both were smelly, full of sketchy faces and bodily fluids everywhere, plus both were famous for stirring up unholy amounts of bi-panic in Dean. 

Alright then, if this is what it takes... 

Dean took a deep breath and walked in. Immediately, he got hit by the well-known smell of alcohol, sweat, and way too many different perfumes and colognes. The whole club was lit with blue, purple, and pink lights, and those only, which felt like a personal attack. But worse of all: in one of the booths near the end sat none other than Crowley himself, surrounded by prettyboys and chicks dressed in leather. 

"Nope!" Dean said out loud, though nobody heard him since the music glaring from the speakers was so loud. 

Having the hots for angels was one thing. Vampires? Yeah, questionable, but Benny was changed; he was good by the time Dean met him. And saved his life multiple times. But a demon? And the King of Hell out of all? Nah, that was too much. Even if we take away all the internalized homophobia, which he still hasn't moved on from completely, a demon is a demon. And you don't fancy those. Unless... 

"Hey, Squirrel!" Crowley called out when he saw Dean. 

Dean could've pretended that he didn't hear it and walked out. He could've stayed in denial. But Crowley's voice always did something to him. The way the demon was always dominant and cold, yet so utterly desperate for Dean's attention at the same time was just intoxicating. 

He shuffled through the crowd to get to Crowley, who was sitting in that booth like it was his throne. Dean stood next to him and gestured for Crowley to follow him, who gladly excused himself from to group of hot young things (most likely also demons) to go with Dean, who led them to a quieter, dark corner. 

"You're being a very good boy, Squirrel," Crowley spoke first, putting his hands on Dean's shoulders, then slowly gliding them down his chest. 

"Yeah, well, let's just get it over with," Dean said, with a slightly annoyed tone. 

"Excuse me?" Crowley stopped in his tracks and looked up at Dean. "No, no, no, you can't just 'get it over with'. You have to face your inner feelings. Looks like I'm your toughest battle yet... makes me very proud of myself to be honest." 

"Well, I prefer reality over these dumbass mind games, so if we could wrap this up..." 

"There's only one thing I can wrap up for you, and it's not the dream. Not until you learn your lesson."

"Screw you!" Dean groaned. 

"If you insist," Crowley gave him a dry smile. Then he grabbed Dean's neck and pulled down his head slightly. "Give in. You'll feel better, trust me..." he whispered into the other's ear. 

Dean swallowed hard. Did he really slump this low? To have feelings for the Kind of Hell? But then again... Memories flashed through Dean's mind, memories of his days as a demon. Memories he buried so deep down he almost forgot they even happened. Poor Sam thought it was the violence, the bloodlust that upset him the most. But during those days, he gave in to another kind of lust. And now it washed all over him like a bucket of boiling water: hot but painful. 

"So, what do you say? I don't have all day, you know..." Crowley pestered him while unbuttoning Dean's shirt. "Will you finally become a man and be honest to yourself, or are you too embarrassed?" 

This was the tipping point (and the fact that Crowley was done with the shirt and moved on to the belt, tugging on it hard). Dean let out a breathy "Fuck this", then grabbed Crowley by the waist, pushed him to the wall, and started kissing him, deep and wild. 

That's it. The damn dam was broken. No, it was ripped to shreds, torn, and blown into tiny little pieces. Dean was finally free. 

"I know what you want, I know what you need. Do you understand?" Crowley whispered. 

"I do. I understand," Dean replied honestly, and the moment he said those words, he felt everything melt away around him. 

Chapter Text

As Dean opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was the sky, painted with beautiful yellows, blues, and pinks as the sun was rising. This is when he realized he was lying on the ground. He got up, still suspicious whether or not this was real. But the details seemed too... well rendered for it to be a dream still. The shine on Baby, the trees, the fluffy clouds, all of it was there. When he was in the dream, the background was just a blurry mess, but not anymore. But before he could make sure this was real now, he heard a little "khmm" coming from behind him. Dean turned around, and he now saw that he was in a motel parking lot, the same one that he and Sam had checked into last night. What's more is that he was standing in front of Sam and... Gabriel. 

"I thought you were dead," this was the first thing out of Dean's mouth, aimed at Gabriel. 

"Oh, never!" the angel scoffed. "I have a very similar aversion to dying like you two," 

"Alright, before you say anything else, yes, you're not in a dream anymore," Sam said. 

To this, Dean narrowed his eyes suspiciously and crossed his arms in front of his chest. 

"How do you know about my dreams?" he asked. 

"Oh, it was his idea, and I made it work!" Gabriel announced proudly. 

"What?!" Dean yelled, but Sam cut him off. 

"Please don't be mad! I just wanted you to finally get over the whole "not gay" thing..." 

"You could've talked to me!" Dean was (understandably) pissed off. 

"I tried, okay? I did. But you... You're impossible to talk to! Any time I'd want to have a serious conversation, you just announce that 'you're fine', and turn the music up! You're frustratingly stubborn, Dean, you know?" Sam was also (understandably) angry. 

Dean struggled to find the words to that rant, he wanted to deny it, but that would've only proved Sam right... 

"Okay, maybe I don't like to pour my heart out all the time! What's wrong with that?" Dean tried to defend himself. 

"What's wrong? You cannot be serious!" Sam combed through his hair in frustration. 

"'Right, how about we talk about you a little bit too! I'm not the only one with explaining to do here!" Dean desperately tried to shift the conversation. 

"And what would I have to explain?" 

"This, for example! Since when are you working with Gabriel!?" Dean demanded answers. 

"You haven't told him that we're together?" Gabriel asked Sam, his tone slightly offended. 

"Well, you saw how much he struggled with lgbt stuff, I just wasn't sure he'd accept it..." Sam tried to explain himself to his boyfriend, while both were ignoring Dean, who was just staring at them in shock. 

"What?! You two? A thing?" 

"Yeah... I know I should've told you sooner, but I was afraid that-" Sam apologized, but Dean cut him off. 

"Okay, first, I'm not a complete ass, okay? I have no issue if you date guys! You're my brother, Sammy, and I'll support you regardless! But Gabriel? Really? He killed me like fifty times!" 

"You started that when you tried to kill me!" Gabriel clapped back. 

"You were killing and tormenting innocent people!" Dean argued. 

"Ohh, but that was fun! Besides, they totally deserved it!" Gabriel argued back. 

"But they were still-" Dean tried, unsuccessfully. 

"Well, out of the three of us, you're the one in love with the King of Hell, so zip it!" Gabriel dropped the ultimate gotcha. 

Sam let out a sigh while he tried to ignore the sudden headache he got in the last three minutes. 

"Are you two done?" he asked, but there was no reply. "Dean, Gabriel is my boyfriend, you'll have to learn to be okay with that. Honey, please don't try to rile Dean up; he gets angry easily. Alright, we good?" 

"Yes, Mommy," Gabriel rolled his eyes, but he wasn't actually upset. 

"Fine," Dean muttered. "Fine..." he repeated, louder. "Only if you promise to never get inside my head ever again!" 

"Only if you stop wallowing in your filth and get a boyfriend. You have three to choose from!" Gabriel crossed his arms. 

"You little-" 

"Guys! Quit it!" Sam yelled. He stared at Dean, then he stared at Gabriel, and both looked down at the ground after that. "Thank you!" 

There was a minute of silence. Then Dean just turned around, got the car keys out of his jeans' pocket, then opened the car door, about to step in. 

"Where are you going?" Sam asked, confused. 

"I'm getting boyfriends! All three of them!" Dean replied. 

"Greedy," Gabriel scoffed. 

"Hey, you wanted this!" Dean reminded him. 

"But how will I work this case or get home if you take the car?" Sam complained. 

"You have your own angel now. Teleport!" Dean answered nonchalantly, then got in the car and drove off. 

"Do you think he can really convince an angel, a vampire, and a demon king to go along with his polygamy plan?" Gabriel asked Sam skeptically. 

"Well, he is very stubborn... And a Winchester. Nothing is impossible for us," he answered, smiling as he started after the Impala, hopeful that his brother would finally find love...