Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“HELL YEAH!” Bakugo balled his fists and punched them in the air. Kirishima swung his arm over his shoulders, and they cheered together.

“Bro, this is gonna be sick!” Kirishima beamed a shark-toothed grin.

They were coming up on their finishing of their third year at UA. As part of their final test, and the ceremony presenting them as seniors and official members of agencies, they get to call the shots on an attack they are called to.

“Alright everyone, settle down.” Aizawa’s tired eyes scanned the scene of his rowdy class before him. A few stray giggles echoed through the room as they took their seats again. “Yes, I know. It’s all very exciting.” He yawned.

“Hey, Bakubro.” Kirishima elbowed him in the ribs. “Bet we could be a pretty awesome duo on the field for this.” Bakugo’s competitive smile showed through his barely contained excitement and drive to fight.

“I’m so pumped, I could burn the school down!” Bakugo whispered back as small sparks tickled his fingertips, and he grinned devilishly at his hands. Kirishima smiled at his fiery excitement before nodding his head for him to turn back to Aizawa.

“For this exercise, you will be sent to an agency of your choice. We recommend you go to the agency chosen for your work studies from previous years. If we see reason to send you somewhere else, we will.” Aizawa let out a heavy yawn before slouching back over his podium. “You are allowed to be at the same agency as fellow classmates, but only in groups of two.” Kirishima and Bakugo shot each other knowing smiles. “Discuss this on your own time and then present me with your selection by the end of the week.” He turns to the white board. “In the meantime,...”

His talking droned on as Kirishima and Bakugo were practically vibrating with anticipation. The bell rang and they practically jumped from their seats and sprinted to the lunch room. Their conversation echoed incoherently through the lunch room, especially when they hit the table and laughed loudly.

“FINALLY! We get to have full control of a chase!” Bakugo shoved a spoonful of rice into his mouth.

“I know! We really get to show these heroes what we’re made of!” They both sprinted out of the lunchroom. They sprinted out of the lunchroom and ran back to their dorms. The rest of the dorm had been shouting variations of ‘shut up!’ and ‘WE KNOW!’ as the boys talked loudly about the new development. They sat in Bakugo’s room. Kirishima sat relaxed on the floor and Bakugo furiously scribbled in a notebook.

“...and then if the villain goes like...NYYOOMMM...then we can be like POW! And then we save the day and and and...” Kirishima just giggled in response.

“Dude, love the enthusiasm, but we still have a week to decide where we’re even going.”

“Well, no damn doubt about it we’ll go together...right?” Bakugo’s face turned serious as he turned his desk chair to face Kirishima.

“Heck yeah, we’ll go together.” Kirishima smiled back. Bakugo slid to the floor and sat crisscross in front of his best friend.

“Like, actually? I thought you had your agency picked out.”

“I did, but working together makes us stronger. And besides, I’m not the kind to let you down by leaving you alone.”

“You mean that?” His tone dropped to a low whisper. Kirishima’s heart softened at the rare hint of vulnerability in his voice.

“Kats, I’m not the kind to leave you alone, and you know that.” He leaned forward engagingly. “Even the big decisions. Sure, this just seems like a school assignment, but I think we both know it’s important for our future.”

Katsuki’s insides cringed at that word. ‘future’. Bullshit. He was in the now. Kirishima noticed his silence.

“It’s a silent weight. I know.” He but his hand on his shoulder. “But it's not one to bear alone. I’ll always be there to carry it with you.” He knows Katsuki doesn’t like being alone. In any sense. Bakugo let out a sigh.

“I just, want to do it together, y’know? Make it special.”

“Hey, even if we don’t pass, it’ll still be special. We did it together.” Kirishima scooted a little closer and their knees were touching as they sat criss cross applesauce facing each other. Bakugo looked down slightly at the point of contact.

“Yeah.” He said quietly. They both looked down and sat quietly for several minutes. The weight of what they were doing was finally settling in. They would fight a villain with no immediate backup or prior knowledge of what they were doing. They have the responsibility of a pro hero to keep themselves and civilians safe. This is a tough test. The longer they sat they more they started overthinking. Katsuki’s leg started bouncing slightly the more he thought about it.

“Hey.” Kirishima placed his hands on Katsuki’s knees as they anxiously bounced. “It isn’t something to worry about.”

“I-I-I know that...but i-i-its just a lot to th-think about.” Katsuki ran a nervous hand through his hair as his mind drifted. “But what i-if we’re not enough? This is REAL, Ei. People, good people, are at risk.” His hand stayed in his hair, and he gripped the strands tightly as his legs bounced more aggressively.

“Katsuki, don’t go into ‘what if’ land.” Kirishima’s hands squeezed his knees a little tighter and his thumbs started rubbing circles. Katsuki’s hands dropped down to his face and he covered himself as his breathing increased.

“It’s ....(gasp)...a lot of...(pant)...pressure.” Katsuki’s mind raced and his chest heaved as his hands shook.

“Kats!” Kirishima said urgently. “Come on! You’re stronger than this!”

“B-b-but I w-won't be s-strong enough l-l-later!” The brokenness in Katsuki’s voice and the racing of his breath sent warning signals in Kirishima’s mind. He reached up and wrestled Katsuki’s hands away from his face.

“C’mon man, look at me!”

Katsuki looked up. His eyes full of unspoken emotion. He would never admit that he was afraid, but all Kirishima could see was fear as tears welled up.

“I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH!” Katsuki choked out as his hands shook violently and he struggled to control his rapid breathing as his mind clouded.

“BAKUGO, STOP!” Kirishima wrapped his arms around Bakugo’s torso. He cradled the back of his head to his chest and rested his chin on top of his head. Bakugo tried to fight the contact but fell victim to his anxious paralysis. He let out high pitched, wheezing breaths as Kirishima tried to rock him side to side slightly. Bakugo’s hands reached around and gripped Kirishima’s shirt tightly and a broken sob came from his lips.

“I can’t do it alone...not without you.” He cried into Kirishima’s chest and Kirishima shushed him gently.

“sshhh...I’m not going anywhere.” He assured him sweetly. He kept his voice low and soothing to avoid overloading Bakugo’s frightened senses.

“I don’t want to be alone.” Bakugo choked out in a hoarse whisper. He let out a shuddery breath and his grip loosened on the back of Kirishima’s shirt and he took several more breaths before leaning back slightly.

“See? I didn’t go anywhere.” Kirishima said softly as Bakugo wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and simply nodded in response as he sniffed and cried his last few tears. “You are strong.” He took Bakugo’s hands in his and squeezed them lightly. “Being strong doesn’t mean having to be alone and being scared doesn’t mean you aren’t enough.”

Bakugo leaned forward and put all his weight on Kirishima forcing him to lay back on the ground. He kept him hostage in the hug for several seconds. Kirishima wrapped his arms around him securely as Bakugo hid his face in the crook of his neck.

“Ei?” Bakugo mumbled.

“Hm?”

“Can we just...stay like this for a while?”

Kirishima held him a little tighter and lifted one of his legs to drape over the small of his back.

“As long as you need.”

Chapter Text

Bakugo kept thinking about it. The way he felt calm with Kirishima. The feeling of his strong arms wrapped around him. His heartbeat in his ears. His low soothing voice. Throughout the day, Bakugo had to keep imagining himself in that place so he could stay calm.

He spent his time in class trying to still the bouncing in his legs and had to fight it every time he wanted to run a nervous hand through his hair. He started his week absolutely pumped for his field test, but any time a teacher or student mentioned it, his heart dropped into his stomach and his mind clouded with doubt and anxiety. At the end of the day, he just wanted quiet. He sat in his room, hunched over his desk. The desk lamp dimly lit the scene, and he lightly tapped his pen to the beat of the soft music in his earbuds. He chewed the inside of his cheek as he scanned the pages of words.

He aggressively pushed himself away from his desk, sending his office chair to the middle of the room with a slight spin. He ran his hands down his face and took out his earbuds. The silence was deafening. Nothing of particular strain or stress was going on in the moment, but he just felt...alone. He spun in his chair a few times before stopping, scooting back to his desk, and grabbing his phone.

Kats: U up?

Eijiro: Ya. Why?

Kats: could u come to my dorm?

Eijiro: sure. Gimme a sec.

Bakugo turned off his phone and waited. After a few minutes, Kirishima knocked and stepped into his dimly lit room. He was holding some of his school books and supplies.

“Not sure what you wanted, but uh, I figured you were studying so I just brought over what I was working on.” He set his books on Bakugo’s bed. “So is there a reason you tex-” He was cut off by Bakugo suddenly appearing in front of him as he turned around. Bakugo didn’t hesitate. He wrapped his arms around Kirishima’s chest and rested his forehead in the crook of his neck. “Hm? You alright, Blasty?” Kirishima was audibly confused before Bakugo spoke up quietly.

“After last night...you holding me...I just...couldn’t focus or stay calm or...anything.” He tightened his embrace.

“Ah I gotcha.” Kirishima returned the hug and set his head on Bakugo’s shoulder too. He lightly traced a finger in circles on Bakugo’s lower back and Bakugo brought himself impossibly closer. “Is there any other reason you texted?” Kirishima asked sweetly.

“mm mm.” Bakugo mumbled to Kirishima’s neck as he relaxed in the peaceful presence of his best friend.

“Is it the test?” Kirishima turned his head to get a better view of Bakugo’s hidden face.

“Maybe.” Bakugo admitted sheepishly.

“And y’know what, that’s ok. It’s not an easy thing to do.” He reached his hands to cup Bakugo’s slightly tear stained face. “It’s ok to be afraid.”

Bakugo’s lip quivered slightly and he reached his arms up over Kirishima’s shoulders and brought him into another hug. This one tighter than the last. Kirishima lost his balance, and they ended up toppling onto his bed, onto their sides, breaking the hug. A small laugh escaped both as they fell back onto the plush mattress.

“Hey Bakugo?”

“Yeah?”

“I wanna try something. I think it might help you.” He added the last part as he watched some anxious features cast over the blonde’s features and limbs.

“O-ok. What should I do?”

“I read somewhere that weight can help someone feel calm so maybe I could...lay on top of you?”

Bakugo was slightly taken back by his suggestion but just shrugged, trying to regain his composure. “Kay.”

“Ok so...scoot that way.” Bakugo moved up to the head of his bed and lay awkwardly flat. Kirishima crawled over and gently braced his body over Bakugo’s. “I guess I just...” He lowered his plank position and his upper body and head rested on Bakugo’s chest and his arms rested at his side and his legs stayed bent alongside Bakugo’s.

Bakugo let out a deep breath as the sensation of the redhead’s weight pushed aside all other struggle. He hesitantly brought his arms up and rested his hands flat aginst Kirishima’s back. The both settled into each other’s touch. Kirishima found peace in the steady rise and fall of Bakugo’s chest, and Bakugo relaxed in the feeling of being held by someone so close to him.

“H-hey, shitty hair.”

“Hm?” He tilted his head up to make eye contact with Bakugo

“Just wanted to say th-thanks.” He said semi gruffly. His anxiety riddled voice still betraying him.

“Whadda you want?” Kirishima tilted his head as he sensed that Bakugo wasn’t saying something.

“Me? N-nothing.”

“You only sound like this when something is bothering you. Spit it out.”

“No.”

“Why not?” Kirishima propped himself up with his elbows, keeping their torsos in contact.

“Don’t wanna.” Katsuki pouted slightly.

“You got something to say. Say it.”

“Fine.” Bakugo didn’t hesitate. His hands flew to the back of Kirishima’s head and brought their faces closer. Their breath mingled for a brief moment before Bakugo mumbled ‘fuck it’ and pressed his lips against Kirishima’s.

Kirishima was shocked at Bakugo’s boldness and display, but he quickly melted into the kiss as his eyes closed and his returned the kiss with as much passion. Bakugo’s lips began moving slightly and Kirishima followed his lead. Their mouths seemed to dance together perfectly as they savored this moment of intimate connection. They both pulled back for a second to catch their breath. They made eye contact, and it was like their feelings were one as they both dove in for a second time.

Bakugo thrusted his tongue past Kirishima’s lips and Kirishima groaned slightly as his tongue explored. Bakugo wrapped his legs around Kirishima’s waist pressing his pelvis against his as they both groaned into each other’s mouths. Kirishima’s hands found Bakugo’s hair and Bakugo began gripping Kirishima’s shirt. Kirishima pulled back slightly, panting and needy, and Bakugo was flushed beneath him and licked his lips.

They both stayed where they were for a moment, as if committing it to memory. Kirishima rolled onto his side, and Bakugo turned to face him. The crickets chirped outside and they both laid in Bakugo’s bed, staring into each other’s eyes.

“That-uh....helped a lot.” Bakugo admitted as he cleared his throat.

“I think I know what you were trying to say.” Kirishima brought Bakugo to his chest in a hug and draped his top leg over Bakugo’s. “And I love you, too.”

Chapter Text

A confession.

That changes things. It was reciprocated too.

‘Damn.’ Kirishima thought to himself. He was laying on his bed in his dorm. He ran his hands down his face and turned to look at his clock. ‘3:45 a.m.’. He let out a heavy sigh before pushing himself to a sitting position. His legs hung off the side of his bed, and he rested his elbows on his knees and wrung his hands together. He snuck out of Bakugo’s room a few hours before after Bakugo fell asleep. Since then, he’d been tossing, turning, and shifting but just couldn’t get comfortable.

For the first time, he felt that sense of loneliness that he imagines Bakugo feels when he asks him to come to his dorm. He always misses his best friend, but this was different. He felt a level of anxiety about the test that never occurred to him before. He just wanted someone there but didn’t want to be rude. Bakugo. He WANTED him. But he wasn’t sure in what sense. He stayed awake for hours.

-

“Oi! Shitty Hair!” Bakugo barked at Kirishima in the hall.

“Yo!” The redhead replied through a yawn.

“Dude, you look rough as shit.” Bakugo gave him a once over with his eyes and noted his sloppily styled hair, hunched posture, and exhausted face. “Training that rough? Didn’t see much of you today.” He leaned back against the lockers and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Y-yeah. Training.”

“If you’re gonna lie, make it a good one.” Bakugo responded as he rolled his eyes and picked a piece of food from his teeth.

“Nothin’ gets past you, does it.” Kirishima chuckled slightly.

“Eh, I got a knack for that kind of thing.” Bakugo pushed himself off the locker and they began walking down the hallway. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“Mmm hmm.” Kirishima groaned tiredly.

“Somethin’ up?” Bakugo turned and opened the door to an empty courtyard. They both stepped outside and walked to a nearby bench beneath the shade of a tree.

“I dunno, man.” Kirishima sighed heavily as he dropped his bag and sagged onto the bench.

“You do know. You can tell me.” Bakugo reached out slowly and put his hand on Kirishima’s knee, giving it a reassuring and grounding squeeze. Kirishima put his hand on top of his.

“About last night...” He paused and met Bakugo’s surprisingly soft gaze. “I think I get it now, y’know. That feeling of needing to be close to someone.” Bakugo’s thumb lightly rubbed over his kneecap. “I didn’t think I would need you in...that...way.” He admitted somewhat sheepishly. Bakugo just nodded and kept listening. “It’s just after you...kissed me...I just...”

“I know. I couldn’t either.”

“You mean you wanted it?” Kirishima sat up slightly.

“I don’t go sticking my tongue in people’s mouths for no reason.” Bakugo leaned back and laced his hands behind his head. “But uh...did you mean it?”

“Mean what?” Kirishima tilted his head.

“I mean, I know bros love each other as bros...but when you said it...did you mean it how it sounded?” That sense of vulnerability was back in Bakugo’s face as he tried to avoid any awkward eye contact.

“I don’t go saying things for no reason.” He mimicked Bakugo’s earlier snarky response to his question about the kiss.

“Alright I guess we’re clear then.” Bakugo relaxed into the bench and stared up at the sky. Kirishima stared at the ground for a few seconds and pondered his next move.

“Bakugo, I-mmph!” His statement was cut off by the lips of the blonde suddenly meeting his. His eyes went wide but softly closed as their lips melded together. Bakugo reached up and placed his hands on both sides of Kirishima’s face and angled his head to deepen the kiss as his lips moved against his.

Kirishima moved his body closer and groaned as Bakugo’s tongue traced the seam of his lips. He granted him entrance and placed a hand on his thigh and gripped tightly as their tongues danced sensually along each other. Kirishima began panting as Bakugo relentlessly claimed his mouth and Bakugo let out a small noise that resembled a moan as Kirishima’s hand traveled further up his leg.

Bakugo pulled back first, his ash blonde hair having fallen loosely over his lust clouded eyes. “N-not here.” His voice grovels as he catches his breath.

“ ‘not here’? Meaning we should...continue this...later?”

“Y-yeah I kinda...want to.” Bakugo had never felt this kind of fire inside of him when it came to his best friend, but there was an air held that told them both that the other wanted more. “I..uh..want this.”

“Imma need you to explain a little more, dude.” Kirishima straightened his jacket and ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m saying that if you feel the same...and to be clear that’s the vibe I’m getting...I want...you.”

Kirishima was stunned speechless. He couldn’t believe it. Bakugo really loved him back. Now of all times seemed like a weird time to say it with the test and all, but hell, who was he to refuse.

“A-alright.” He grinned through his flustered state. “So...later as in...”

“Tonight.” Bakugo said with a forward tone as he regained his composure and returned to his popularly gruff demeanor. “My room.” He grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder as he stood to walk away.

Kirishima watched him walk, and saw him trace his finger along his lips. He stood up and threw his bag over his shoulder before deciding to return to his own room.

-

Kirishima took a deep breath as he stood outside Bakugo’s door. The crickets chirped outside because waited till it was significantly later after everyone went to bed. He knocked on the door before opening it and walking into his room.

It was dimly lit by Bakugo’s desk lamp and Bakugo was just laying on his bed, and scrolling on his phone. At the sound of Kirishima’s entry, he raised an eyebrow, and tossed his phone to the end of his bed.

“You actually showed up?” His voice was slightly husky as he sat up. His muscles flexed subtly beneath his tight black tank top and his navy-blue baggy workout shorts. Kirishima gulped as his nearly accusatory words.

“I-uh-I-I-I.” Bakugo chuckled at his flustered state.

“Nah, I don’t mean anything by that. Calm down.”

“Right.” Kirishima chuckled lightly as he sat down next to Bakugo on his bed. They sat in silence for a few minutes, staring at the floor. “So...” Kirishima broke the silence.

“Right. It was my idea so we should probably do...something.”

“Y-yeah.” Kirishima scratched the back of his neck as he awkwardly moved forward. He had never felt this level of sexual tension before.

“Just, before we...do...anything, I just want to make sure...” Bakugo’s crimson, smoldering gaze met Kirishima’s curious gaze. “This is something you really want. I love you, Eijiro. I want to cherish you and call you mine. We can go slow, we don’t even have to anything if you don’t want to. I just want you to know...that I love you.” His statements were slightly rushed as he fumbled with his hands, but his voice held a reverent love as he poured out his heart.

“Katsuki.” Bakugo’s heart jumped at the sound of Kirishima saying his name. “I want this. I want to begin sharing myself with you.” He took Bakugo’s hands in his own and pressed them to his lips. “I love you.” He said almost as a whisper.

Bakugo reached out and cupped Kirishima’s face and brought it close to his. He couldn’t hold back. He kissed him hungrily and with more desire than the previous times. His lips urgently moved against his and savored the taste. Kirishima’s hands began wandering the blonde’s upper body. They traced his sculpted abs and lightly grazed his pecs before trailing back down, under his arms, and around to grip the back of his tank top.

Bakugo brought him closer at the feeling of him gripping his shirt. Bakugo hands dropped to Kirishima’s lower back and pressed lightly. The redhead didn’t hesitate. He threw his leg over Katsuki’s lap and pushed his body to straddle his, without breaking the kiss. Both boys’ eyes began glazing with lust as Kirishima adjusted his position on top of Bakugo. Bakugo leaned up and kissed Kirishima with more of a sweet respect as his hands explored his waist and muscular back. His fingers lightly tucked under his t-shirt and began exploring his bare skin. Kirishima reached down and began lifting his shirt until he was fully topless. Bakugo nearly tore off his own tank top. As soon as it hit the ground, Kirishima basically lunged forward to capture Katsuki’s lips.

The force ended up knocking the both of them backwards and Kirishima ha Bakugo caged between his knees and hands. He lowered his body closer to his and the arousal of both boys became painfully clear. As Kirishima dragged his tongue along Katsuki’s lips, he slowly ground his hips onto the blonde’s.

“mmmm” Bakugo groaned into his mouth as the friction stroked the flames of his arousal deliciously. His own hips bucked up into the contact and Kirishima ground down in him harder.

“Ahaaaahh.” Kirishima whined into Bakugo’s mouth as they ground into each other. Bakugo bent his knee up and gently pressed against Kirishima’s crotch. “Fuuuck.” Kirishima moaned softly as he broke away from the kiss to pant into Bakugo’s neck. His hot breath ghosted the sensitive nerves of Bakugo’s neck and it sent a pleasurable shiver through his body. He pressed his knee a little more firm against Kirishima’s hardness, causing him to bite into his shoulder and stifle a groan.

Bakugo grunts slightly as his large hands grip the back of Kirishima’s shirt as he massages his knee against him in rhythmic circles. Kirishima pants heavily above him as his arms begin to give out. He lowers his weight on top of Bakugo and their bare chests meet. Something about that just sets Bakugo’s heart on fire and he grabs Kirishima gently by the neck and kisses him passionately.

In this new position, their clothed erections press against each other and they both pant sensually into each other’s mouths. After several minutes of praising each others’ tongues, Kirishima pulls back.

“I (pant) want to (pant) go further.” Bakugo gives him a nod and holds up his hands as if he’s surrendering.

Kirishima takes it as a good sign and begins kissing his way across Bakugo’s neck, and collarbone. Bakugo lets out a breathy sigh and closes his eyes as his nerve endings awaken to the sensation. Kirishima grins to himself as Bakugo’s breathing picks up and his hands begin gripping the blankets. Kirishima keeps working his way down, leaving love bites and hickeys as he travels, and then he stops at the defined ‘V’ just above Bakugo’s thin workout shorts.

Bakugo tilts his head to meet Kirishima’s questioning gaze and gives him a nod. Kirishima gently pulls the fabric down and Bakugo’s hard cock comes to rest against his abs, and Bakugo lets out a relieved exhale as his aching member is freed.

Kirishima stands and discards his jeans, and breathes a similar sigh of relief as his own hardness is freed from it’s denim confines. He crawls back up Bakugo’s body and they both stare at each other as if saying “we’re naked...now what?” Bakugo cleared his throat as his member twitched with desire.

“So...how do we want to uh...I mean I don’t have anything that would make it easy to...well, you get it.”

“Yeah I get it.” Kirishima nodded. “Here, just...” He propped Bakugo up against the pillows, and sat himself between his legs. He reached out hesitantly and gently grabbed Bakugo’s base.

Bakugo let out a small whine that quickly turned into guttural moans as Kirishima slid his hand up and down giving him firm pumps near the head.

“Nnnghhhhh-ah-fuck.” Bakugo gripped the sheets as Kirishima's skilled hands began pumping him at a firm and steady pace. He would bring his hand up, circle his thumb around his leaking tip, and bring his hand back down and squeeze. Bakugo’s legs began to quiver. He had never had anyone actually stroke him before, and when he would do it himself, he wasn’t this sensitive. His deep moan morphed back into high pitched whines as Kirishima used his other hand to begin massaging his balls. He was getting close fast, and began letting the sounds of his panting and moaning fill the room. Kirishima moved his hand faster as Bakugo gripped the sheets and arched his back slightly. His abs flexed as he released.

“Eijirooo-nnnggg-aahAAhhhh!” His release coated his abs and his member twitched as his last few drops were spent. Kirishima drug a finger across his abs and brought some of the hot liquid to his mouth before leaning in to kiss Bakugo. Bakugo moaned as he tatsed his lover mixed with his own essence. Kirishima pulled back from the kiss and licked his lips.

Bakugo panted slightly as he came down from his high, and he met Kirishima’s gaze. He shifted Kirishima’s sitting position to have him straddle over one of his muscular thighs. He put his hands on his hips and guided him to begin grinding himself against him. Kirishima’s head fell forward as he massaged his balls and the base of his cock on Katsuki’s defined leg. Bakugo continued guiding his motions until he began chasing his release and moving on his own.

“God, I f-fucking love y-you.” Eijiro grunted through a stifled moan as the combined friction and pressure, mixed with his pent-up desire pushed him close to the edge. He moved up his thigh until his cock was hitting the side of Bakugo’s hip. The slight pain from the force of his movements sent jolts of pleasure though him. He leaned down and planted his mouth on a soft spot on Bakugo’s neck as he continued rolling his hips and thrusting shamelessly.

Bakugo let out a soft moan as Kirishima sucked at his neck and panted almost animalistically. Kirishima whined into his neck as he stilled his movements and came.

“Fuck (huff) nnghh.” He rested his forehead on Bakugo’s shoulder as he came down from his high. Bakugo kissed his head as he ran his hands through his fiery hair and down his back.

“I love you.” He muttered to his ear as he recovered.

“I want us to be like this...together...forever.” Kirishima said lazily as he detangled himself from Katsuki’s leg and move to lay on his side with his head on his shoulder.

-

“You boys will be separated.” Aizawa said firmly.

“Bullshit!” Bakugo shouted at the teacher. They stood in front of the school, awaiting the official transportation to their tests. “You said we could work together!”

“I said you could work in pairs, but we would separate you if necessary. This test is meant to be practical. Meaning, in the field, you are going to have to work with who shows up. You have no knowledge or pre-established plan. You two know each other too well on terms of planning and fighting for this to be fair.”

Bakugo clenched his fists as Kirishima put a hand on his shoulder.

“Dude, it’s fine. We’re both strong.”

“I thought we were in this together.” Bakugo said through gritted teeth.

“We are! Just from different places. Come on.” He guided him to take a walk a few dozen feet from the others. “We’re going to be fine. We’ve prepared for this.”

“It’s not that I doubt our abilities. I know we’re capable. I just wanted to do it by your side. We did everything together. I just want this milestone to be one we always remember for doing it together.” Bakugo dropped his head as his voice choked.

“Even if we don’t fight together, we’ll still win together. We still get awarder together, and become full pro heroes together.” He took Bakugo’s hands and brought him close. He gave him a small kiss on the forehead before resting their foreheads against each other. “You can do this.”

Bakugo took a slow deep breath before pulling away. “Ok. Let’s go kick some ass.” They gave each other a fist bump before they walked back to the front. They were separated into two lines. Kirishima and Bakugo were in different lines. Kirishima’s group left first. The door to the van closed with a loud thud, and as the vehicle pulled out onto the road, Bakugo muttered to himself, “Go get ‘em, Red.”

Chapter Text

Every bump in the road seemed to throw Bakugo off his train of thought. It had been 45 minutes since the bus with his group departed. Different students were dropped off at different calls in various parts of the city. The gaping hole of emptiness in his mind only deepened as he watched each classmate step off the bus with a confident smile and radiating urge to succeed.

As the time droned on, it was just him, Tokoyami, and Todoroki waiting in the bus. They were about to turn to drop off Shoto, but an alert blared through the system. The bus immediately made a U-turn and sped down their previously traveled roads. Mt. Lady’s voice came through the walkie-talkie attached to the driver. Her panicked voice cut in and out.

“BACKUP!! We----need---som---fucki—Back---up!” The walkie-talkie emitted crackly static as the driver sped up and gritted his teeth as he punched in coordinates.

“The hell do you think is going on?” Bakugo muttered to Shoto and Tokoyami. They all shrugged but kept their serious expressions as the bus lurched and leaned with urgent speed and maneuvers. Bakugo braced himself against the wall of the bus as it approached it’s location. The sounds of sirens filled his ears and he could feel the ground shaking. He licked his lips and leaned toward the exit as orders began being barked through the bus.

“GO! GO! GO!” The driver yelled to the boys as he jumped from his seat and opened the exit. The three sprinted from the bus and only got about 40 feet before stopping dead in their tracks. The entirety of the scene was engulfed in flames, and it seemed all of the students had been pulled from their exams to help at this scene instead. As Bakugo scanned the scene, evacuation was the biggest priority. The three boys nodded to each other before splitting to different areas of the scene. Tokoyami ran to the crowd to create a barricade, Shoto began using ice to still the flames and create supports for the collapsing parts of the building that still contained civilians. Bakugo blasted himself up to the level of the building that was evacuating to help. He stepped inside and the flames met him with no mercy.

“AH FUCK!!” He pulled his mask over his face and quickly began running through the floor looking for civilians. “HELLO?! ANYONE HERE? I’M HERE TO HELP!” He called through the raging fire and heavy smoke. His heavy boots pounded on the stairs as he ushered civilians to the windows with the firemen waiting with ladders. “GO! LET’S GO!” He waved people to the ladders and assisted them.

“Hey, Bakubro!” A raw and familiar voice met him. Kirishima emerged from the flames while he supported and unconscious civilian on his shoulders.

“’Bout time you showed up!” Bakugo yelled in his direction before helping the person he was carrying into the fireman’s arms.

“Watcha talkin’ about? Been here the whole (cough) time.” He leaned forward and placed his hands on his knees as he let out wheezing breaths. Bakugo looked at him. He’d been using his quirk to protect himself from the fire, but it was getting hard to keep up. His pants were singed, his mask was gone, and his knuckles and arms were all scorched from breaking walls and probably some tripping.

“Fucking hell, dude. Was this your test?” Bakugo helped him up straight before they started running to the next staircase to check the lower levels.

“No it was someone else’s. I guess something got really out of control since we’re not supposed to have help.” Bakugo kicked the door to the next stairwell.

“You think?! Does a building on fire look under control to you?” Bakugo said before doing a lap around the floor. “CLEAR!” He yelled out the window to the fireman so he would go to the next descending level. Before they knew it, they were back on the ground level.

Kirishima leaned against a supportive beam for a few seconds and coughed violently. Blood spewed from his lips ad he gripped his chest and heaved.

“RED?!” Bakugo ran back towards him. “C’mon buddy! Just a little further.” He shook Kirishima’s shoulders slightly to get him to stand but Kirishima collapsed to his knees. “Fuck.” Bakugo cursed under his breath. “You really have been in here a while.” Kirishima coughed again, the blood from his lungs spattering onto Bakugo’s hands and uniform. “C’mon, dude! It’ll only get worse if you stay in here.” Bakugo tried to put him over his shoulders, but a low rumbling sound was heard from the floor above them as dust rained from the ceiling. Kirishima couldn’t muster the ability to stand. His lungs seethed at his every breath, his arms were trembling with burns, and his legs gave out from exhaustion.

“THE BUILDING’S GONNA GO!” Bakugo barked through the broken window and he watched as the heroes backed the crowd away. “You heard me right?!! Let’s go!” He pulled Kirishima up onto his shoulder and staggered to the exit. The creaking grew louder and he started moving as fast is he could with their combined weight.

CCRREAAAAKKKKKCRAAAAAASSSHHH

The ceiling began collapsing from the wall furthest to them, and then slowly catching up. He gritted his teeth as he raced the falling debris. He was mere feet from the exit, when he felt Kirishima be suddenly pulled off him. A large beam had caught his foot and pulled him to the ground with a sickening crack of his bones hitting the ground.

“RREEEDDD!!!” Bakugo screamed as he turned back to retrieve him. A large slab of the ceiling fell directly in front of him, cutting Kirishima from his line of sight. He was knocked backward from the force and everything went black.

-

“....yte.....namyte....Dynamite??...Dynamite? Can you hear me?” A pounding ringing noise filled his ears. He lay flat against the pavement, a fireman standing over him, pressing an oxygen mask to his face. He rolled his head to the side for a moment and caught a glimpse of the fallen building. The fire was successfully put out leaving smoke rising heavily from the scene. His classmates stood by the various medics, fireman, officers, and civilians as they continued their learned procedures. Everything looked okay. He got out of the fire. He sat up abruptly and gripped the collar of the fireman’s shirt startling him.

“Where is he?!” Bakugo growled in his face. “He was here, and I don’t fucking see him.”

“Dynamite! Calm yourself! Whoever you're talking about is safe.” The fireman tried to reassure his rage.

“If he’s ok, then where the hell is he?!!” He barked through gritted teeth before releasing his shirt and standing. He scanned the scene and tried to recall what happened.

“I was thrown back....no...before that....We were running....and he....FUCK!” He sprinted to the last place he remembered: The fallen slab by the exit. His bones and muscles ached for him to stop, but he wouldn’t let that happen. He jumped that large piece of concreted and started yelling into the rubble. “RED!......RED RIOT!!...ARE YOU THERE?!” His heart sank deeper and deeper every time he called out and there was no response. He stood still for a moment, and heard a slight shuffling from the direction of where the exit used to be. “RED!” He ran to the source of the sound. He slid down a pile of rubble to the solid ground and immediately froze. He found him.

“Baku-(Cough)-Bakugo?” Kirishima’s voice was raw and injured as he heard his best friend approaching.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s me.” Bakugo knelt at his side to assess his damage. He reached into his belt and pulled out a flare before lighting it into the sky. “MEDICS!!” He yelled, hoping someone was close enough to their scene to hear them. He turned his attention back to Kirishima. The part of his leg that had been caught under the beam that trapped him to start was completely mangled and Bakugo tore his eyes away. He immediately set to moving the rest of the debris off him. He lifted the beam from his lower body and moved the fiberglass and wooden planks from his upper body. He wished he just left them there. What they uncovered just made him sick.

A metal pipe was stuck through his abdomen and protruding through his lower back. He could see the abnormal shape of his torso as many ribs had been broken. What scared him the most, as the puddle of blood pooling under his face.

“Eijiro? I’m going to put you on your back.” He said in the strongest voice he could muster as he felt Eijiro attempt to nod.He started with the lower body and worked his way to the upper body. Kirishima cried out like bloody murder when Bakugo rotated his upper body, and all Bakugo wanted to do was kill himself for causing him to make that noise. Kirishima settled on his back. He was barely breathing through the pain, and he opened his eyes to see Bakugo looking at him. He was crying, his lip trembling, and his eyes searching for hope. When Kirishima opened his eyes, Bakugo knew it was to late. His pupils were two different sizes. ‘A stroke?...A Brain bleed?’ Bakugo sat up and yelled even louder while setting off another flare. “MEDIC!!!”

“Is it bad?” Kirishima choked out through a halfhearted grin. He coughed slightly and rested his arms against his abdomen. Bakugo took his head and rested it on his lap.

“Only when you look at it.” A sob broke at the end of his sentence as he cupped Kirishima’s face. Kirishima knew what it meant.

“Hey, Blasty?” He wheezed as more blood trickled from the corner of his lips.

“Yeah...Sh-Sh-Shitty Hair?”

“At the ceremony...(Cough)...Keep this in your pocket when you walk.” He reached down and took his signature belt buckle from his costume. “You can do that for me, right?”

Bakugo took the belt buckle and gripped it like it were the last thing on earth. “I’m not gonna have to...(Sniff) cause you’re gonna be...okay.” His sentence faltered at the last word, and he openly sobbed over his friend.

“Don’t f-f-forget, man...I didn’t go saying shit for no reason...” Kirishima’s words trailed off as he settled into a fit of bloody, bone crunching coughs. He took a heavy inhale, before his head settled back against Bakugo’s lap, and his tense hands fell limp, and his uneven eyes fluttered closed.

“Red....red....” Bakugo started in a whisper. “Eijiro? You’re gonna make it! YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT!!!” Hot tears streamed his face as hie lightly shook the redhead’s body. “DON’T LEAVE ME!” He screamed into his face. “EIJIROOOO!!!!”

Chapter Text

The sounds of footsteps approaching pulled Katsuki out of his grief shaken state. Todoroki slid down the pile of rubble. They made eye contact, and he just knew. He immediately fell onto his hands and knees in heavy sobs. Uraraka followed. Katsuki shook his head when she opened her mouth to question. She covered her mouth with her hand while gasping before she turned to a far corner and threw up on the spot.

The medics soon followed and Aizawa was following close behind. Bakugo kept his hands on Kirishima’s shoulder accessories as the medics began examining him. Aizawa struggled to maintain his composure. He looked at the scene in shock. Kirishima was dead in a pile of his blood, Todoroki was having a panic attack, Uraraka was close to passing out from vomiting, and Bakugo was for once, at a loss for words. As the medics continued working, they needed Bakugo to let go of him. He only tightened his grip.

“Dynamite, please.” Aizawa pleaded with Bakugo as he put a hand on his back. “They have him from here.”

“Like hell, they do.” He spat through gritted teeth as Aizawa started to hook his hands under his arms. “NO! NO! NO! NO!” Bakugo cried angrily as Aizawa started to pull him away. He kicked his legs weakly and punched at the air, trying to claw his way back to his best friend. “I WON’T LET YOOUUU!!”

“BAKUGO! STOP!” Aizawa commanded, a little louder and more aggressively than he had anticipated. At his harsh tone, Bakugo stopped. He stopped struggling, stopped yelling, and stopped fighting. Aizawa released his grip from under his arms and step to stand in front of Bakugo’s seated form. The blonde’s gaze was defiantly kept on the ground.

“Can I trust you to back off and follow orders?”

“Yes, sir.” Bakugo mumbled, his gaze drifting to the bright red hair mere feet away from him.

“Good. I’m going over there. You are not.” Aizawa was stern but his voice held room for emotion. He looked around. “Go help Todoroki. I don’t think he’s doing very well.” Bakugo looked in that direction and nodded before walking over to Todoroki’s hunched and trembling form. He gently placed his hand on his back and used his other hands to take his shaking hands from his face as he tried to verbally comfort him. Every few sentences, he’d look over at Aizawa. He watched him wipe his eyes as he helped the medics lift the body onto a stretcher before covering it with a black tarp.

His fists balled as they started walking off with the stretcher. He gritted his teeth as he fought internally to stay put. Todoroki slowed his breathing and stopped crying before standing up and leaning against a metal pole. Uraraka had sat down, dizzy and clutching her stomach as she tried to pull herself together. Bakugo shook the tears from his face and pulled his mask back down before walking over to Uraraka and extending a hand to give her a piggyback ride out of the scene.

The three emerged from the rubble, Uraraka on Bakugo’s back, and Todoroki keeping a hand on Bakugo’s shoulder for his own grounding purposes. Bakugo set Uraraka down and Deku was immediately at her side to steady her. She resumed crying but kept her tones hushed as she leaned in and explained everything. Deku’s eyes got wide, and he covered his mouth to muffle his own cries as Bakugo and Todoroki continued walking.

The rest of the class had found each other and when they circled, it had become a tirade of ‘is it true?’, ‘where is he?’, ‘it can’t be!’. Bakugo couldn’t take it. He swiftly exited the circle and began talking to the police. Anything to keep from being the one to tell the class. They had all shared the same shocked and sad looks that he had as he looked over his shoulder to monitor the conversation. He answered all the questions before the weight in his chest took over. He gripped the front of his shirt as it felt he was being stabbed. He nearly doubled over before he felt a strong set of hands grip his shoulders and try to pull him upright. Aizawa returned.

“We’re going. You passed your test.” He muttered before barking orders to the other students. A car was waiting for them and they both got into the backseat. He sat down, and the stabbing pain in his chest returned. He let out a stifled groan.

“We’ll get you all taken care of.” Aizawa patted his shoulder. Bakugo doubled over in agonizing pain before everything went black.

-

Beep....beep....beep...

“Huh?” Bakugo grunted groggily as he felt himself in a different place. A soft mattress was beneath him, his clothing felt light and smooth, and the room was lit by flickering fluorescents.

“Good. You’re up.” Aizawa yawned as he sat up in his chair across from Katsuki’s cot. “...it took everything to put you to sleep...”

“Whatcha mean, Teach?” Bakugo coughed hoarsely as he tried to sit up. That sharp pain in his chest from earlier remained a dull throb.

“You got out of the car and when a doctor greeted us you were just...livid.”

“Was it bad?” Bakugo sighed heavily with shame.

“Y’know the usual...cursing...yelling...possible charges of assault and battery but hey...you’re still young. You got away with it.”

“Assault and battery?!” Bakugo sat up slightly before gripping the side of his arm. “Ow.” he grumbled.

“Yeah, thank the nurse for that sore arm. She sedated you before you could real damage.”

“Real damage. Tch.” He sat up fully and ran his hands down his face. He was wearing a pair of hospital pajamas, and it seemed they cleaned the blood and debris off his skin while he was sleeping. Some small bandages rested where he got burned by the fire. Aizawa leaned forward and a serious expression settled on his face.

“Listen Bakugo,-”

“I don’t want to hear it. I was there, remember? Don’t have to tell me again. I watched it.” His head dropped as tears threatened to build back up. The day's events felt heavy like weights and even though he was sitting, he felt like he was being pulled to his knees.

“I can only imagine...really...” Aizawa’s lips trembled as he pinched the bridge of his nose and willed his emotions to stay at bay. “The uh...(ahem)..the doctors said that you could see him when you woke up..if you...wanted....they offered it to me but I didn’t go just in case..you wanted some...uh ...support.”

“That um...might be nice.” Bakugo looked away sheepishly. It was awkward for him to admit he needed comfort even in a situation like this. Especially from his teacher. Aizawa stood heavily from his chair.

“Good. I’ll let them know you’re ready.” Bakugo took shaky breaths as the doctor took his vitals once more before helping him stand. They began walking down the corridors and Bakugo felt like he was under water. Every sound held that eerie echo, voices felt distorted, his limbs felt heavy, and it felt his body was moving on its own accord and he was just a bystander. They stopped in front of a door and the doctor left after unlocking it. Aizawa placed his hands on Bakugo’s shoulder.

“You can do this. I’ll be right here with you.” Bakugo swallowed thickly and pushed the door opening. They both stepped in before letting it swing shut. They both just stood. The lifeless body before them. He had been covered with a sheet, but his face was still visible.

“He looks...peaceful.” Bakugo choked as he imagined the pain he must have been in before he left them.

“Mmm hmm.” aizawa responded. Too emotional to give him any real words.

Bakugo took a few heavy steps closer to the side of the cot. He gently reached down and placed his hand on top of Kirishima’s. It was cold and stiff. It all hit him like a train. He was really gone. He fell to his knees by the side of the bed. He kept on hand on his best friend, and his other covered his mouth as he let out tortured sobs. Aizawa rushed to his side and placed both of his hands on his shaking shoulders.

“It’s ok.” Aizawa choked out as he too couldn’t hold back. He joined Bakugo on the ground, and they mourned together. They didn’t speak. Only tears. Bakugo gripped Kirishima’s hand tighter and tighter as if willing to live again and hold his back like it used to. After several minutes, they both looked up at eachother and nodded.

“You ready, kid? This is it.” Aizawa told him as they stood. Bakugo nodded.

“Just....” He gripped Kirishima’s hand one more time before whispering. “I’ll see you later.” He gave the hand a weak fist bump. They turned and stepped out of the room.

They walked silently down the hall back to Bakugo’s room. The second the door shut, Bakugo brought Aizawa into a suffocating hug. His forehead rested on his shoulder instantly, and he sobbed brokenly in front of the teacher. Aizawa brought his arms to return the hug. He set his chin on top of Bakugo’s head and just held him.

Bakugo never thought he would have ever felt the need to feel the presence of another being. Everyone was just extras. But now...He realized he could feel empty at the loss of presence. The fragility of life hit him like a train as he hugged Aizawa tighter and closer, as if he would vaporize and disappear.

“I told ya, kid..(sniff)...I’m not going anywhere.”

Chapter Text

“Everybody here?....Good.” Aizawa stood in the common room of the class dorm after gathering all the students. The scene was somber and depressing as he looked at the students. Some hadn’t been sleeping, some had hard times eating and it showed, and some hadn’t found it in them to change out of their pajamas from previous days.

“I just have some announcements for you from Nezu. To start, the ceremony presenting you as seniors has been postponed to the next weekend. The weekend that it would originally be is replaced by the funeral.” The air got heavy at his casual mention of such a heavy occasion. All the students looked down as they thought about having to attend something like that. “Next, Nezu has offered some support and counseling through the school for the students. It is free and you can do it at your convenience. Last, there will be no training until the start of July. Feel free to use the gym and training facilities on your own time, but the faculty voted and decided a break from physical training and mentally exhausting tasks would help some aspects of recovery from the intensity of the exams. That’s it.” Aizawa folded the paper of announcements back into the envelope.

“That’s all?” Denki asked, almost expecting more.

“Yep.” Aizawa responded all too casually as he turned to leave. The disheveled students just shrugged to each other before going back to their previous activities. Not five minutes after everyone dispersed, Aizawa sent a text in a new private chat with a few select students: Meet me on the porch.

He stood on the porch, leaning on a beam as the students chosen stepped onto the porch. Bakugo, Midoriya, and Denki came through the door and closed it behind them. After a few seconds, Tetsutetsu came from the B dorms. He looked just as rough as the rest with the sunken dark circles under his eyes, tear burns faintly decorating his cheeks, and his wrinkled pajamas.

“I noticed the text was only for us.” Denki held up his phone. “Did we do something?”

“No, no, no, you didn’t do anything. I just need to discuss something with you all that I didn’t feel was appropriate for the large group.” The class all nodded as they made a closer circle. “I wanted to put out and ‘offer’ in a sense. I’m sure you all know that the funeral will be this weekend since we moved the graduation.” The air stood still, and everyone looked down with defeated posture. “The staff discussed the best approach to this, and we decided to ask you students if you would do the honors of being the pallbearers.”

Everyone looked up with wide eyes and started looking at each other in disbelief. They all gave each other a knowing nod before bowing to Aizawa one by one and saying, “It would be my honor.”

“Good. I’ll let the teachers know and they’ll reach out with further details by Thursday. Till then, rest.” He gave them a warning look as if threatening them with rest. He knew they weren’t sleeping.

“Yes, sir.” The students said in unison before returning to their dorms. Bakugo, Midoriya, and Kaminari ended up sitting in Bakugo’s room. Denki sat on the bed, Midoriya in the desk chair, and Bakugo in his bean bag.

“Y’know...this isn’t a day I think I would have ever seen coming.” Kaminari crossed his arms and leaned forward.

“You’d think it would be so far in the future, yet here we are.” Midoriya leaned back before spinning slowly in the chair. Bakugo just grunted in response.

“It just feels...unreal.” Denki laid back against the pillows. “I miss him.” Denki sighed with a slight crack in his voice.

“Me too.” Midoriya sniffled slightly as he rubbed his eyes. “Kacchan? You’ve been quiet.”

“(ahem) y-yeah. N-not much to say I guess.” He adjusted his posture awkwardly in his bean bag.

“There’s gotta be something going on in that thick skull of yours.” Denki said.

“Honestly, I’m surprised you’re not giving us an earful. I mean, you were there when-”

“I KNOW I WAS THERE! YOU THINK I WOULD FUCKING FORGET?!” Bakugo snapped at Midoriya before his lips quivered and a small tear slid out of the corner of his eye. His intense and threatening eyes met the wide eyes of the other two boys. Bakugo leaned back and pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath. “Get out. Both of you.”

“R-right. Sorry, man.” Denki gave him a pat on the shoulder before the two shuffled out and quietly shut the door behind them.

Bakugo leaned his elbows onto his knees and tensely wrung his hands as his heart sped up and he felt his chest heaving. He shook his head as he tried to calm himself. His legs started bouncing and he felt his ears ringing as tears stung his eyes. His head fell forward into his hands, and he sobbed openly in the silence of his dimly lit room. He reached around himself for a pillow and pressed it to his face to muffle the most gut-wrenching scream he could muster. He repeated the cycle. Deep breath. Scream. Sob. For several minutes, he poured out his pent-up rage into the pillow until it was heavy with his tears. He fell back against the bean bag panting, crying, and shaking. He turned his head to the right and saw a small container that managed to evade his attention for the last three years.

‘Don’t fuckin’ do it, man.’ He mentally warned himself. His mind flashed with the past. The blood on his body. The shiny silver blade. The rapid heartbeat and blurry vision. He swallowed thickly as he willed himself to stay still until the urge subsides. He couldn’t betray his best friend. Not like this.

He thought back to that day. The day he found a reason to quit. Kirishima found him when he came to return some workout clothes he had borrowed. He knocked on the bathroom door, but Bakugo couldn’t answer. He kicked the door down and found Bakugo sprawled out on his bathroom floor. His arms dripping blood from freshly sliced skin and his hand shakily gripping the blade. His eyes were glued to the ceiling as tears spilled from the corners of his eyes. Bakugo wouldn’t move a muscle, but Kirishima set to work. He cleaned his wounds and bandaged them in silence. Not asking any questions. He eventually shook Bakugo out of whatever destructive daze he was in as he brought him to sit up. The second he was steady, Bakugo threw his arms around Kirishima in a sobbing hug. Kirishima hugged him back and whispered, “It’s ok, Blasty. You’re safe.”

That was the first time Bakugo felt the comfort of needing someone. Kirishima saw him at his absolute worst and stuck by him anyway. People would hide in the halls at the sight of him, but not Kirishima. He proudly put an arm around his shoulders and paraded him to the classroom. There it was. His reason. He had found someone who had been willing to look past all his shitty behavior and love him anyway. Someone who made him want to keep living.

He continued to stare at the locked box as his mind faded from its trance of memories. He rolled off his beanbag and slid across the floor to the box. Kirishima had locked Bakugo’s blade inside and said the lock was a promise. Bakugo violently shook the box and heard the metal shard rapping against its confines. Bakugo cried harder as he shook the box with more aggression. He let out a frustrated grunt as he threw the box forcefully against the wall. The lid popped open as the box hit the ground. That’s the level of quality you get on a student budget.

The small blade slid across the floor and stopped just feet from Bakugo’s grasp. He hastily snatched it up and his eyes stared at it with hunger. He continued to cry as his mind fogged. He started removing his shirt. His mind screamed at him with every ounce of energy to stop, but his body felt out of his control. As if it weren’t really his. His shaky fingers adjusted their grip on the small edge of the tool. He held the blade to his forearm.

“I know I promised...and...I’m sorry.”

Chapter Text

The class all stood in the common room of the dorms. They fussed over their suits, dresses, hair, and the last minute notes of their speeches. There was chatter, but it wasn’t happy like it used to be among the class. “How do I look?” Didn’t have the same anticipatory tone it once held.

Bakugo stood in front of the mounted mirror in his room as he tied his vibrant red tie in the dim lighting. After five video tutorials and three failed attempts, he whipped it from his neck and threw it into the wall with a grunt. He sat on the edge of his bed and ran his hands down his face. He looked across the room into the mirror. His dark circles were sunken under his eyes and the fiery red of his irises seemed smothered to ash. His hand rubbed at his jaw and cheeks. He had got some stubble from the sheer inability to break through his mental cloud enough to take care of himself. He managed to shower and brush his hair but that was about it.

He pushed himself to stand and give the tie another try. He smoothed it out and resumed tying it. Maybe throwing it across the room helped with his anxious tension that kept him from fully understanding what he was doing. He finished tying the tie and reached for his suit jacket and began putting it on.

The friction of the fabric seethed against the raw skin on his arms. He hissed as his arms slid down the sleeves and let out a sigh of relief as the jacket settled. He turned to button it and tilted his head. It looked...off. His shoulders didn’t fill it out like they used to, and the cuffs hung closer to the palms of his hands. His eyes went sad for a moment.

‘God, Bakugo. What’s gotten into you.’ He mentally scolded himself. The longer he looked, the worse it got. He fully buttoned his shirt because his collarbone was more prominent than it used to be and he hadn’t needed to wear a belt for a long time, but now he needed one, and he put it on surprisingly tighter than he thought he would have needed to. He rolled the sleeves up once on the suit to not make it look so baggy. He needed to look somewhat put together.

He slid on his shoes and gave himself one last look in the mirror. He was fully dressed but still felt like he was missing something. He patted his pockets and looked around the room as he muttered to himself. His eyes settled on something glinting on his nightstand. He brushed away the tissues littering the table, and picked up the R-shaped belt buckle. He ran his fingers over it as he felt tears prick his eyes. He sniffed them down. It took him hours this morning to stop crying as he willed himself to get ready, and he couldn’t afford to fall apart now. He fastened the buckle to the belt he was already wearing. His jacket framed the buckle perfectly as he adjusted his outfit a final time. Making his way to his door to leave was harder then he thought. He hadn’t left his room besides his brief appearances at meals. Laundry and activities piled the floor, and his trash cans were overflowing. He’ll deal with that later. He found himself telling himself that a lot recently. He stepped outside of his room and quietly closed the door.

The soft ‘click’ of his door closing sent the common room silent. All eyes turned to him as if he were a stranger in the building. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and slouched as he walked through the room to the kitchen. He filled a glass of water and leaned against the counter before he realized everyone was still staring.

“What?” He asked in his gruff tone before downing the glass in one gulp.

“Where did you get that?” Denki said almost breathlessly as he pointed to the belt buckle.

“He...uh...gave it to me.” Bakugo shrugged and placed the empty glass in the sink. The immediate question was already testing his patience.

“Gave it to you?!” Denki’s balled his fists as he gritted his teeth and looked angry eyes with Bakugo. “He was my friend too, y’know! You really think this is the time to go flaunting your ‘best friend’ privilege?” He stepped up to Bakugo and jabbed an accusatory finger into his chest.

“Denki, listen. It was becau-”

“Don’t bullshit me!” The class took a step back. Denki’s rage was a rare sight. “We didn’t even get to say goodbye!!” Denki’s voice scratched as he poured his pent up emotion into his verbal assault directed at Bakugo. “You really think this is appropriate?!” He reached down and snapped the buckle from the belt and waved it in front of Bakugo’s face. “We didn’t even get to see his body! And you get to wear his right to being a hero?!”

“Fucking-GIVE IT BACK!” Bakugo barked as Danki started backing up with the buckle.

“It’s not fair.” Denki spat through gritted teeth as his finger began to spark. He took the buckle and raised it over his head. “None of us get to have him anymore. Not even you.” He growled as he brough the buckle down onto his knee with all his strength. A ‘snap’ forced the room to a standstill. There was a collective gasp and most of the girls’ hands went flying to their mouths. The boys just stood. Slack-jawed and stunned.

Bakugo’s arm was still extended to stop him, and Kaminari was breathing heavy. The buckle was now in two pieces. One in each of his hands. Denki’s hands started to shake, and his breathing sounded more anxious than angry as realization hit him like a truck.

“I-I-I-I...I didn’t mean t-...I mean...I’m sor-”

“Give it here.” Bakugo growled as he snatched the pieces from his trembling hands. Denki took a few staggering steps back wards before sitting on the arm of the couch and cupping his face in his hands. His body was flooded with regret. He was stammering through tears and anxious apologies as he shook harder. The class turned to Kaminari, offering hugs and ‘it’s ok.’ ‘We understand.’

Iida turned to Bakugo who remained where he was. His eyes bore into the only thing he had left of his best friend. Iida placed a hand on Bakugo’s shoulder, bringing him out of his daze.

“The bus will be here soon. I recommend collecting yourself. Maybe step outside for some fresh air.”

“I don’t need fucking fresh air.” Bakugo responded quietly.

“Yes. You. Do.” Iida sounded intense as he directed Bakugo to the balcony. They both stepped outside and Iida closed the door behind them.

Bakugo stood with his shoulders at his ears and his eyes squinting like he’d just been born. Iida leaned against the railing before adjusting his glasses and addressing the tension.

“How did you really get the belt buckle?”

“Like I said: He gave it to me.”

“When?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Bakugo spat.

“I see. Just checking.”

“Tch. Checking what?” Bakugo ran a hand through his hair.

“How you’re doing today but that whole interaction was pretty self-explanatory in my opinion.”

“Good for you for having an opinion, Four Eyes.”

“Listen, Katsuki. I know today is going to be difficult. It is for all of us and that can be acknowledged. It hurts. And that’s ok.”

“Yeah it-uh-(ahem) really does.” Bakugo’s hands fidgeted with the pieces of the buckle in his pocket.

“But, regardless of how we want to act, we must carry today well. It is up to us to represent him honorably. That little scene back there isn’t a representation of who Eijiro is. We need to control ourselves.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re basically a walking book of ruled and etiquette.”

“My standards of behavior are my business.” Iida straightened his jacket before turning back to the door. “I’m going to have a work with Denki before we leave. Just think ‘honorable’. Should be simple enough.”

“Tch.” Bakugo turned away from him as he stepped back inside. He took the pieces of the belt and put them together in one hand just to look at. He couldn’t wear it anymore but he could still carry it. That would have to do. He put them back in his pocket before going back inside. When he walked in, Iida and Denki weren’t in the room, and everyone was back to fussing over the details. Deku was standing with Uraraka and pinning a red flower into her hair. He wiped a stray tear from her cheek as she adjusted his tie. Bakugo swallowed his emotion as he watched the bond shared between the two.

The front door to the dorm opened, and Aizawa stepped in. He wore a plain black suit and a bright red tie that was designated for the pallbearers, teachers, and family. He clapped a few times for the class to join him. Iida and Kaminari came back, Denki’s lip was still trembling, and he was wiping his nose and eyes, but he came to stand next to Bakugo.

“Alright everyone. I understand that this will not be easy.” Aizawa began. “But we all have a reason to do it well. I read over your speeches, and they are all very touching. We have gone through the order of events so everyone should know what they are doing. If you have questions, ask them discreetly. There are some big media there and we need to be professional.” He ran his hand through his hair before taking a deep breath. “I know this has not been very easy for all of you, and I promise that this is the last day you have to stick it out. I see the toll this has taken on all of you, physically, mentally, and emotionally and I know it is very hard to cover up and be normal about. But I want to say that I see you, and that after today, you won’t have to tough it out.” He looked at the students’ nervous and exhausted faces before nodding. “The bus is outside. Let’s roll.”

Chapter Text

It was torture. The bus ride. The service. The speaker. The music. Pathetic.

Bakugo sat in the front row as his parents gave their speeches about their son. Their emotions got the better of them and they ran off the stage crying before they even started. Bakugo wanted to do it justice. Eijiro deserved more than a sappy display of blubbering sobs. It was his turn to step up to the microphone and give a speech.

The cameras flashed in his tired eyes and the eyes on him felt like lasers looking into his soul. He straightened his notecards and cleared his throat.

“Good afternoon, everyone. I want to personally thank you for the effort made to coordinate this beautiful event in memory of E-Ejiro Kirishima.” His voice faltered briefly before resuming. He worked hard to maintain his composure as he recalled attributes of his best friend. The memories filled his brain to the point it was all he could see and his speech went on autopilot. As he finished his final memory of their last conversation before the accident, his vision cleared and he reached into his pocket.

“As an act of apology and respect, I want to invite his parents back up.” They joined him on stage and he turned to face them. “Your son taught me the value of true respect and selflessness. As a representation of that, I have a gift for you.” He pulled the broken belt buckle out of his pocket and handed it to them. “You deserve this more than I ever did.” He turned and walked off the stage and to his seat. He barely sat down before he couldn’t bear it. He swiftly stood and strode purposefully towards the exit of the sanctuary.

The doors softly clicked shut behind him. He loosened his tie as he walked to the water cooler. He filled cup after cup of cold water to try and cool off whatever hot rage had gotten a hold of him. He went to fill another cup when a stiff hand met his shoulder.

“You did good, kid.” Aizawa said with a soft tone in his gruff voice.

“Sh-shut up.” Bakugo’s voice cracked and his shaky hand reached for the cooler again.

“Bakugo...look at me.” Aizawa said with more of a concerned suggestion than a demand.

“N-n-no.” He muttered. Sweat beaded on his forehead and one of his hands scratched the back of his neck while the other shakily crushed the frail plastic cup in his hand. The edges of the cup dug into his hand as he gripped it harder with ignorance to the pleasure of the pain.

“Hell, kid. Let go.” Aizawa reached down for Bakugo’s hands. Bakugo’s gaze was kept down as his sweat dripped, and his chest rose and fell with rapid wheezing. “HEY! Out of that head!” Aizawa wrestled his fingers slightly as the jagged edges of the cup dug to blood, and it dripped out of his clenched fist. “KATSUKI!” Aizawa cupped his face and brought it to meet his gaze. He didn’t see Bakugo’s typical rage-filled eyes but saw anguish...pain.... regret. “Katuski...” He consoled softly as he brought Bakugo into a hug.

Bakugo trembled in the embrace. He said nothing. Only small chokes and sobs escaping his shaking lips. His fists gradually relaxed, the bloody cup gently crinkling to the floor as small drips of blood fell onto it. Bakugo stayed. Not out of shame or because he was held there. But because he needed it. Presence.

“I know it wasn’t easy.” Aizawa whispered. “Letting him go like that.... but I’m proud of you. You did something I would have been too selfish to do.” He gently rubbed Bakugo’s back. “I would have wanted to keep him to myself too. Not let anyone else get to have the connection that we had....but you were true to your word.” Bakugo sniffled.

“Wh-what...word?” He mumbled in the hug. Aizawa put his hands on Bakugo’s shoulders and looked at his slumped frame.

“That he taught you selflessness. Nothing shows that level of friendship like what you just did in front of everybody.” Aizawa’s eyes flickered to his hand, bloodied by the crushed cup. “Fucking hell. Gotta know when to stop yourself, kid. Lemme see.” He brought his hand up. Bakugo felt his sleeve sliding back and quickly withdrew his hand, meeting Aizawa with defensive eyes. “I have to see if you’re hurt.” Aizawa countered with a stern expression.

“ ‘mnot.” Bakugo muttered. His hand wrapping his wrist and his expression challenging.

“Bleeding means hurt. Unless there’s something you’re not telling me.” He clasped his hands behind his back.

“N-no..I got it... is all.”

“Is it really ‘all’?” Aizawa raised an eyebrow.

“WHAT DO YOU KNOW? YOU’RE JUST AN OLD MAN PRETENDING TO CARE ABOUT US TO KEEP HIS JOB!!” Bakugo let out an angry breath as his red eyes flashed. Aizawa was slightly taken back by the boldness in his student’s statement. His stance faltered for a moment as the words traveled to his heart. He cleared his throat.

“I understand that your feelings towards me may have changed over the years, but I
assure yo-”

“DON’T BULLSHIT ME!! You HATE being a hero! You HATE being a teacher! You HATE your students. You HATED Eijiro!”

“You keep those accusations away from me, Katuski Bakugo!! You cannot challenge my stance as a teacher, as a hero, or as a human! I wouldn’t be a hero or a teacher if I didn’t have some semblance of decency towards society.” His breathing became ragged. “Would I have sat in the hospital with you? Would I have let you be in this room – hell, would I be in this room if I didn’t care about each and every one of you?!” His chest heaved as his teary eyes met Bakugo’s.

“You wouldn’t be yelling at me if you cared! Do you have any idea what it’s like to lose someone like this?! Someone so close, HUH?! In an instant...THEY’RE JUST GONE!” Bakugo barked in his face.

“DON’T THINK YOU KNOW HALF THE HELL I’VE SEEN!” Aizawa yelled as he grabbed Bakugo’s loose tie. “If this is all it takes for you to forget your place then you are not fit to have the title of ‘hero’.” He dropped his tie, tossing it slightly back at his chest. Bakugo took a few steps back as Aizawa’s rage knocked his ego to the depths of his shame. Aizawa pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a breath. “Leave.” He growled.

“What?” Bakugo whispered breathlessly.

“Go to the dorms. You’re not staying.”

“But I-”

“Don’t argue with me.” He ran his hands through his hair. “You NEED to leave.”

Bakugo picked up the bloody cup and threw it at Aizawa chest before turning to leave. The exit music played from the sanctuary. Bakugo looked back at Aizawa with an almost pleading expression.

“Th-the casket....my job to-to-t-t...”

“I will take your place.” Bakugo’s face turned to shock.

“Like hell you will.” He growled before lunging at Aizawa. Security came earlier at the sound of their argument and grabbed Bakugo by the shoulders and restrained his hands behind his back. Aizawa waved his hand and the guards began forcing him to the front doors. Bakugo strained to protest but no words came out. It felt as if he were being choked with barbed wire as his throat constricted and hot tears spilled over his rage filled eyes. He was shoved into a van....one much like the one that took them to their tests.

The doors slammed shut...and there he was....Mt. Lady’s voice crackling over the speaker...everyone’s worried glances. The jostling bus shook his trembling frame as his breath wheezed and his fingers tugged at his hair.

“Dynamight?” The driver looked back. “Everything ok back ther-...Dynamight?”

Bakugo’s breathing increased. Broken sobs escaping his lips. His limbs shaking as he tried to stand. His chest heaved with inhuman speed and his vision started clouding. His hand gripped his chest as he was overcome with a familiar stabbing sensation he felt only one time before.

“F-f-fuck...not....a-againnnghhh.” He hit the ground of the bus with a heavy thump.