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So close yet so distant

Summary:

You huffed, though you couldn’t deny that you didn’t like the idea of Ronin being away even longer. There just is that tiny voice in your head that told you he was doing something he didn’t want you to know about. There was no evidence for your suspicion but it was always there when you weren’t sure exactly what Ronin was doing. God you want to trust him so badly but you just felt like anything could happen if you weren’t around.

Notes:

Moin. This is babies first fanfic for me so feel free to give criticism. It might be a bit till I update again because life. Also in the future I will probably go into the heavily implied religious trauma Ronin got but the tags will change once that's posted. In general this will be multiple chapters but I'm not sure for how long it will go. (I'm also not natively english so I apologize for any odd sounding parts.)

Chapter Text

“Kiss me or kill me. Which one will it be, darlin’?” Those words stuck around in your head since that day along with the grin Ronin had on his face. God, that wide grin you wanted to wipe off his face so badly yet you didn’t take that knife. No instead you gripped his jacket, the zipper of it digging into your palms, the feeling was painful but you didn’t care. All you felt like doing was yanking Ronin towards yourself and the moment his lips connected with yours, when you could feel him chuckle against your lips as if he was expecting this, there was a weird feeling of possessiveness in you bubbling up.

Back then you didn’t think anything of it but now that you are sitting on Ronin's lap idly typing away at another story, you think about that possessive feeling again. It never went away after that did it? That doesn't matter though right? Not right now at least, especially after checking your phone and seeing around a hundred notifications. “Huh? Did you find a way to bring the executioner bot back?” You ask as you watch the bot torment Angel knowing damn well that Ronin has done something to its code. “Oh c’mon! Did you genuinely think I’d let it die?~ My pride ain’t accepting that darlin’.” The smug smile on his face as he spoke gave you a small feeling of excitement. There was a hint of amusement in his voice but you still feel bad for Angel as the bot seemed to @ her every minute. “At least make it torment people other than Angel. Otherwise it will just be sent back to the shadow realm even faster.” You sighed as you lean back against Ronins chest again. You could hear him let out a stifled snicker before you noticed the bot temporarily stopping its torment.

 

Angelic>
Oh thank god
Since when can it @ people??
You better explain @goreboy

goreboy>
come on
you Know i Ought not pass on the opportunity to Really get on your Nerves
or is that not obvious to You?

 

You let out an amused huff before speaking. “Did you seriously use ought just to spell out corny, also you spelled it wrong, dumbass.”. “Eh. Don’t think that matters but aren’t you happy that the executioner will torment you now?~” For a moment you were confused before you looked back at your phone and saw that the bot had @’d you three times already! “Did you seriously lower the time to 15 seconds?! You evil man!”
Your huffy complaint made the red head barked out a laugh. That was immediately followed up by more giggly laughter. You had to get revenge somehow right? Learning Ronin is ticklish was the best accidental way you ever woke him up. It also turned out to be a very fun way to get the usually rather calculated man to giggle like a little kid. Despite his weakened state however, Ronin was still much stronger than you so it just took him getting a good grasp on your wrists to stop you. “Aye! Who said ya could do that? You will regret this, that is a promise darlin’.~”. Ronin had that stupid shit eating grin of his on his face, one similar to the one he had back then just a lot more…sane. The two of you went quiet again as the atmosphere calmed down again. The reminder of what happened back in that alleyway…purgatory. It made you think about that feeling again yet before you could slip down that rabbit hole of thoughts you could feel Ronin resting his chin on your head. “You good? I can’t help but notice the face ya makin’. Don’t make me worry about you now sweetheart.” He hummed whilst holding onto your hand with his own. You mentally slap yourself for thinking he wouldn’t notice, Ronin always did. He is as observant as he has patience. “I’m fine… Just thinking about some stuff.” This isn’t really a thing he has to worry about but a part of you knows that Ronin will ask again, if he even accepts this answer. “Alright… Just talk to me if somethin’s wrong, yeah?”. You nod silently as you watch his hand slowly trace circles on your palm. It was nice to just sit in silence doing nothing for a short while. It didn’t take long to rest your head against Ronins chest with a deep breath. The only sounds in the room was the faint humming of your laptop that now just layed unused on the couch. The moment was nice and peaceful in comparison to the usual ongoings. Something like this should happen more often is something you thought at that moment. “Forgot to tell you. The boss at the place I work at has been real pissed since I came late to a few shifts…” It were definitely more than a few but you brush that aside quickly. “So I might work a little more. Kinda wanna keep that job, so I might come home later for a while.” Ronin didn’t sound particularly fond of the idea and you kinda could figure why. Who enjoyed doing extra work? Especially when it was more a necessity than something you wanted to do. “I’ll be fine, you’re acting like I can’t survive a few hours without you, Nin.” You huffed, though you couldn’t deny that you didn’t like the idea of Ronin being away even longer. There just is that tiny voice in your head that told you he was doing something he didn’t want you to know about. There was no evidence for your suspicion but it was always there when you weren’t sure exactly what Ronin was doing. God you want to trust him so badly but you just felt like anything could happen if you weren’t around. Before you could go down that thought process more Ronin’s voice snapped you out of it causing you to stare at him in confusion. “A-Are you alright? Ya didn’t really seem to listen to me. Are you sure nothin’s wrong?” The concern in your boyfriend's voice was unusually obvious and it made you feel slightly guilty. You knew he was patient but this time he was too patient for his own good. “Oh sorry… I promise everything is alright. I just spaced out so nothing to worry about!” There was an attempt to sound reassuring but that suspicion of something you had in the back of your mind for a long time made it sound really half assed. Ronin just sighed however, seeming to realize he was getting nowhere. “Sure. I’ll let it go for now but if I notice you getting worse I ain’t gonna stop bugging ya.” You huffed a laugh at his attempt to cover his concern. You really can't help but love this man as if there is nothing wrong with him. “You don’t need to cover your concern. I appreciate how much you care about me Nin… I really love you so much…”