Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Alec Hardy would have never thought that he’d stay in Broadchurch for good.

He hated the damned place. The smiley people, those tall, steep cliffs that scared the shit out of him when he was a kid, the never-ending sky, and how each day seems to be the same as the latter. It was the complete opposite of when he was in Santa Mercia. It was busy and lively, and the sky is often murky (which is probably from the smoke and pollution, but Alec doesn’t want to dwell on that).

Also, you won’t run into someone you know at every corner, unlike here in Broadchurch.

(He’d sometimes run into Beth whenever she’s out for her daily runs or when she comes to school for the parent-teacher conferences for Chloe. They’d exchange their pleasantries, but there’s a certain awkward, perturbing tension between them. Of course it’d be like that, after all that happened during the case. Alec still feels guilty and at fault for being sloppy and irresponsible. If only he did better, he would have imprisoned Joe and given the Latimer family the justice that they needed.

He can still see and sense the looks Mark would give him, frustrated and grieving.

That’s what he used to see in Cate’s eyes.)

Alec’s grown to tolerate this place, though. It provided him the second chance that he needed, especially with Daisy. He can never reclaim years of missing every single milestone from when she started to change to what she is today. All he can do is try to spend as much time as possible with her.

“Good morning,” Daisy greeted when she emerged from her bedroom, her school bag slung over her shoulder.

“Mornin’, darlin’. I made you pancakes.” Alec motioned his mug towards the table before taking a sip of his tea. He watches as Daisy takes a seat at the table and peers over the plate of pancakes—slightly burnt pancakes with amusement. Alec felt ashamed.

Alec’s been trying all morning to cook the right pancake for Daisy. The first two batches were a complete failure; he had burned them so badly that they matched the color of the pan he’s using. He tried scrubbing it off, but it was too late and he had no choice but to throw the pan out. And then for the third batch, he really had his eyes on it the entire time. He even used his phone’s timer for each side, two minutes until flipping it.

He googled, ‘How many minutes on each side of a pancake?’ earlier. The first result is from a website called ‘Food Network’ that said a pancake should be cooked for two minutes ‘until bubbles break on the surface of the pancake and the undersides are golden brown,’ and he did that. Though Alec thought that the other side would also be two minutes, he didn’t read it all the way through that said ‘only for one minute.’

It was late when he realized that.

“Wow. What’s the occasion? Why did you cook me pancakes this morning?”

“Nothin’ at all. I just wanted to cook,” Alec replied nonchalantly. Daisy looks skeptical, but she nods and takes a bite of the pancake. Alec watched her expectantly. When Daisy hums under her breath with a grin breaking on her lips, Alec feels instant relief.

“It’s burnt, but it tastes good.” She gives a thumbs-up. Alec smiled, and his face lit up.

“I still got it, yeah?” He asks with a chuckle.

Daisy rolls her eyes. “When did you ever cook for me before?” 

Alec gasps like she’s wronged him.

“When you were a wee little child, you used to really like that sweet and sour fish dish after we visited your grandma. You bugged me for a whole day to ask her to make it again and I was so fed up—and I didn’t want to trouble your grandmother—that I said that I’ll make the dish for you. I cooked that for dinner, Daiz. Do you want some evidence? Your mum has a picture of you, mouth covered with sauce, tucked in one of our photo albums.” Alec states like he’s presenting some evidence before a criminal.

Daisy gives him a wry look. “Okay, Dad. I get it. I get it. You cooked for me before.” she says in defeat.

“You’re portraying me like I was such a bad dad that didn’t give you any good memories at all.” Alec states, scoffing. Daisy gives him a ‘Do you really want to go there?’ look that made Alec tight-lipped.

"...And I will go and take a shower myself." Alec puts his used mug in the sink and heads to the bathroom. Daisy chuckled to herself, taking that as a small victory.

She takes a quick pic of the pancakes her dad made and sends it to Chloe, who responds, ‘Didn’t know DI Hardy was such a great chef. Better than Gordon Ramsay. 😆’ that Daisy laughed at.

The weather has gotten colder and damper, the pavement is moist with rainwater, and the clouds are almost covering the sky. Alec drove Daisy to her school in silence while soft music played from the radio.

Alec has always liked the rainy season.

When he was nine, he’d curl up under his duvet and read books with a mug of hot chocolate that his mum would make him. She would mix up this special cocoa (special in a way that he thought was only made for him, but now he’s pretty sure it’s just Ovaltine) and put three big marshmallows in it. Also, the loud pitter-patter on the roof would usually wash out any noises that came from outside his bedroom: bottle smashing, shouts, and sometimes weeping that he’d try his best to ignore, or if he didn’t, he’d be the one who got it next.

After going through the traffic, they reached Daisy’s school. It had begun to drizzle a couple of minutes ago, the students pouring into the school gates with their raincoats and umbrellas.

“Don’t pick me up later. I have a sleepover with Chloe.” Daisy says while gathering her stuff. Alec knitted his brows together.

“You have a sleepover with her?” he asks. Daisy paused and looked at him, mirroring his expression.

“Yes…? I told you about this yesterday. Have you forgotten to check your texts again?” she questions.

Alec takes his phone out from his pocket and checks his inbox. The fact that Daisy's contact is still highlighted shows that he didn’t check it at all. (Give him some slack. He was busy yesterday.)

‘dad, chlo and i are gonna have a sleepover at her house. beth already knows. can i go? 🙏’

“Why didn’t you ask me again when I didn’t reply?” Alec asked, glancing back at her. Daisy gave a shrug.

“You were at work yesterday and you came home pretty late last night. I honestly just remembered it now too,” she continues, “So can I go? Please? We’re gonna work on my UCAS tonight.”

Alec raises an eyebrow, suspicious. “And you can’t do it in our house because…?”

Daisy gives him a look and Alec scowls. It’s one of her pleading looks. It’s all in the eyes. He sighs deeply, feeling like all of his resolve disappeared in an instant.

“Yes. Fine—you’re sure Beth knows? I’ll message her to make sure.” he says in a firm yet gentle way. Daisy gives a nod without thinking.

“Yup. You can message her if you want to,” she smiled as she peered out the window.

Alec saw how her whole face beamed, smiling from ear to ear when she spotted someone in the distance. He crouches down to look as well; it’s Chloe waving from the opposite street. He raises an eyebrow at this.

“I’ll get going, Dad! I’ll see you tomorrow!” she exclaims and hastily gives him a kiss on his cheek, opening the door. Alec takes the umbrella from the car’s compartment and gives it to her.

“Text me when you’re there.”

“As if you’ll read it?” Daisy asks teasingly.

Alec laughs. “Go.”

Daisy smiles at him and goes out of the car, opening the umbrella, and closes the door lightly before walking to where Chloe is. Alec reaches over to properly close it and looks at Daisy and Chloe, who are already excitedly talking to each other as they head to school with their arms linked. Their faces are beaming. That’s the first time Alec saw Daisy that happy with a friend. He shrugs it off for now and drives down to the station.

When he entered their office, uniforms welcomed him, and his only response was a nod or a faint smile. For them, this is the most that they’ll get from Alec. He would typically huff or grunt to shut off any form of small talk and walk past them. It was one of the many reasons why he earned the ‘shitface’ title.

Alec just doesn’t get the appeal of someone being so chippy and happy in the morning. It’s the morning. He prefers the night better. He works more efficiently and he doesn’t get to deal with blaring noises that would instantly ruin his mood.

He also hates people that like the mornings.

“Good morning, Hardy!”

Well, maybe not all people.

Alec went into his office with Ellie trailing behind him, hands full with a bunch of paperwork that he has to fill out for the rest of the day. This is always the aftermath of a finished case. Paperwork. Never-ending paperwork.

“Mornin’, Miller. Took your morning coffee, I believe?” Ellie shook her head, placing down the files on his desk. Alec mutters his thanks as he takes a seat.

“Actually, I haven’t. I had to deal with getting Fred ready for school and Tom’s project that’s due today. I swear that little shit doesn’t care if I was tired from work. He went into my room and asked for materials at 11pm!” Ellie ranted, her face etched with a deep frown. Alec couldn’t help but snort in mirth.

“Daiz also used to be like that when she was little. Tess would scold her, but we’d both go through the entire town just to get the materials she needed,” he tells her, which made Ellie chuckle. “But was there an open shop last night, though?”

“What makes you think that I went out at 11pm just to scour the entire town for his bloody project? I said, "Deal with it," and went to bed. I woke up earlier to Tom desperately trying to piece together some stuff that he found in our shed. That’s when I helped,” she snorted.

Alec hums thoughtfully. “What a great parent you are, Miller.” he sarcastically drawls.

Ellie playfully rolled her eyes. “We should get some drinks. And some bread. I need some meal before I continue on with this day.” she says exasperatedly.

Alec shakes his head and slips on his glasses. He starts going through the papers in the binder.

“Nah. I already ate earlier. Pancakes.”

Ellie raised both of her eyebrows, surprised. “Pancakes? Daisy cooked?”

“No. Me.”

That’s even more surprising.

“Wow,” Ellie laughed. “Why would you cook for Daisy?”

Alec sets down the binder, stoic. “Why is everyone asking me that? Can’t I do something good for my daughter?” he scoffs. “I just did. I wanted to do something nice for her and not let her eat toasted bread and tea like what I usually do for her.”

Ellie continues laughing and raises both of her hands in defeat.

“Okay. Don’t be all defensive. I was just asking.” she said and Alec gave a scowl.

“Out.” he waves his hand towards the door. Ellie only rolled her eyes. She’s already used to Alec being like this.

“You don’t want anything at all?”

“No. Go on.” he replied and started with his work for the day.

“Have fun,” Ellie dryly says.

“I will.” Alec states without looking up at all. “Close the door when you leave.”  

The moon illuminates the horizon, the stars blinking in a distance, and the sky is painted in a mixture of black and blue. The breeze has gotten more crisp that Alec hunches down and wraps his coat around him further to seek some warmth. Though the waves are calm as they reach the shore and gently retreat back to where they came from.

Even though Alec despises the water and the sand, he can't help but return to that spot beneath the cliffs. There’s a certain comfort to it, despite the unpleasant feeling that’s always churning in his guts.

He still remembers the first time he sat on this beach, his arms encircling his legs and his eyes fixed on the horizon. The argument started over something trivial. While his father wanted to stay and drink at the campsite where they were staying, his mother wanted to go down the beach. Then his mom shouted. Then his dad. The disagreement resulted in a full-on fight about the things that didn’t even matter about their vacation.

‘You always want to do what you want! You’re putting most of our money into feeding your alcoholism!’ ‘It’s my money! Don’t fuckin’ tell me how and what I’ll do with it!’

That’s what Alec heard last after he sneaked out quietly and ran away.

Alec didn’t know where he was going. He doesn’t know the place at all. Everything around him was a blur, and he didn't give a damn about who was looking in his direction. He kept on running until his feet brought him to the beach of all places. He walked until he was alone and sat down under the cliffs. He knew that he’d be in trouble with his dad. The sting of leather he has become accustomed to. And yet he stayed.

He constantly went back to that place their entire vacation whenever things got heated between his parents until their very last day in Broadchurch.

He really didn’t think he’d be back in this place and in spite of that, here he is. Coming back like a boomerang.

It’s familiar; it weirdly coaxes him to stay.

Alec thought he would have some time to himself to think, to be at peace, even for a brief moment, but then he noticed a figure sitting in his spot. He furrows his brows, trying to figure out who it might be.

He kept on walking until he finally got a good sight of the person.

It’s a man; he’s wearing a suit, yet Alec knows that it’s more carefully handpicked by him (unlike Alec). He’s hunched, arms wrapped around his knees, eyes distant. A form that Alec knows all too well.

He should turn around and walk away, although there’s something in the back of his mind that tells him to approach the man. To check if he’s alright; the empathetic side of Alec is kicking in.

And so he continues to walk until he’s near the man. Alec pauses and suddenly, he doesn’t know what to say or ask at all. Should he really talk to him? Where would he even start? Oh, Christ. Am I really panicking over what to say to a stranger? (Ofcourse you are, Alec).

Before Alec could even think rationally, his mouth moved.

“You’re in my spot.”

What was that?

Even he was surprised with his own words. That’s too blunt, too rude, even for him. Way to go, Hardy!

The man looks up and Alec finally sees his face. There are tear lines on his cheeks, his eyes puffy behind his glasses. He seems perplexed and ashamed. Mostly because someone had witnessed him in this state.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” the man mutters. He was about to get on his feet when Alec stopped him, eyes wide.

“No—I mean, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. You can sit there,” he said in a hurry, awkwardly. The man stares at him and Alec can’t read him at all.

Without any word, the man went back to sitting and looked away from Alec. Alec stood uncomfortably, his arms flailing uselessly at his sides, his lips pressed together. He’s contemplating whether to go home or stay and…what? Talk to this man?

It’s obvious that he’s troubled and Alec is not that much of a bastard to just leave him like this.

With a heavy sigh, Alec slowly sits down beside the man and keeps a safe distance between them. He mirrors his form and gazes out at the sea.

Silence.

The sloshing of water in the sea, the waves hitting the shore, and a few seagulls squawking in the distance.

Pleasant and peaceful.

"This is my first time going down here like…this." Alec flinches a little when the man speaks but he composes himself and looks at him. The man kept his eyes on the ocean.

“I don’t even know how I got here. Where I parked my car or how much time has passed. I just kept on walking until I stopped and collapsed here,” he quietly stated. Alec studies him; the man looks detached, empty.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?” Alec decides to ask, but the man didn’t answer him at all.

What did he expect?

Alec puffs out his breath. “I come here every now and then,” he says instead and the man finally looks in his direction. Alec felt the need to continue, “Usually when I feel guilt…or whenever I want to be alone,” he mutters and sighs. “I absolutely hate it here. Yet I keep on coming back.”

He doesn’t know why he’s saying all of this right now, but he knows what the man needs is some distraction.

A beat.

“You hate the beach?” The man asks wryly. From all that Alec said, that’s what he focused on. At least his distraction worked?

Alec nods. “I do. Hate how the sand sticks to my clothes, the salty breeze…”

“‘I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.’” The man quotes rather dramatically. Alec gives him a quizzical look.

The man smiled sheepishly. “Star Wars… You know… Anakin? Told that to Padme... You don’t—?” he awkwardly explained. When Alec didn’t react at all, he cleared his throat. “Sorry. I tend to say unrelated stuff whenever I feel uncomfortable.”

Alec's face softens and a small smile appears on his lips.

“No. It’s fine. And it’s totally related.” he reassures, and the man finally smiles, even if it didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“So why are you here?” The man asks.

Alec shrugs. “I don’t know either. It’s been a while since I last came here. Just had the urge.” he replied truthfully. Alec contemplated at first before asking again, “And why are you here?”

The man hesitates for a moment; the walls came back. But he looks a bit more comfortable with Alec.

“Well, today is…” He trails off and swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. Alec could tell he’s nervous. “Something happened on this day that I can’t let go of, even if it happened a long time ago. You could say that I’m here out of guilt—like what you said.”

Upon gazing into his eyes, Alec understood what he was talking about. He is already familiar with it, having seen many grieving people in his line of work.

“Were you two close?” he asks. The man is taken aback when Alec asks that; nonetheless, he answers.

“Yes. Really close. That’s why it hurts more whenever I think about this person. I feel like I completely… let her down. That everything that happened is because of me and that it should have been me instead of her.” He’s choking up, tears welling up in his eyes. He looks away from Alec. “I just don’t get why I had to be here and she’s taken instead of me.”

Alec’s expression softens. He doesn’t know what to say and he’s afraid if he says anything, he’ll tell him something disheartening or rude. Instead, he stays quiet while listening.

“I really did everything that I could to save her. But it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. If only I had more time…” The man whispers, the tears escaping his eyes without his own accord. He sniffs and quickly wipes it, realizing what he’s doing. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry if I—”

“It’s fine. Don’t apologize.” Alec mutters, his hand aching to reach out and perhaps pat his shoulder. Offer some comfort. But he didn’t touch. He keeps his hand to himself. He could only offer silence.

They’re quiet for a while, neither of them speaking.

The man takes a deep, shaky breath and sighs; he appears to feel a little lighter than earlier. He glances back at Alec and smiles slightly.

“Thank you. Really. So much for listening. It helped,” he said earnestly. Alec felt like warmth crept up to his chest. He's never heard someone be so sincere with him, as if he did something right.

It was a nice feeling.

“No problem. What’s your name?”

“Theo. You?”

“Alec.”

Chapter Text

Earlier.

The weather is gloomy, the sun barely shining through the clouds. Dew clinging to the leaves and plants. The breeze is cold and damp, the kind of air that makes you want to stay indoors, snuggle under a blanket, and drink hot tea or coffee while watching your favorite show or movie. 

Oh, how Theo yearns for that.

Theo hasn’t slept since last night. Two hours near the end of his shift, an accident happened with a car and a motor colliding against one another because the motor had slipped through one of the roads in an intersection near their hospital. It had been raining hard after all. He spent four hours trying to resuscitate the motorcycle driver and unfortunately, he didn’t make it. 

He found himself on the rooftop after his shift, rethinking his life choices of being an ER doctor. He’s still finding the reason why he’s doing this job. He didn’t even consider coming back today. 

Yet he’s here, already five hours into his shift. Managing some forms that the night shift forgot and left for them. Sometimes he hates the night shift; they leave some mess and the day shift has to mop it all up.

(Only sometimes though! He knows they have it worse. He’s heard a lot about the patients they’d get during the evening and man, they’re all feral.)

Theo wants to lie down and go home, but he knows that he’s needed here and he loves helping people. He’d go beyond his exhaustion and put himself aside if that meant he’d get to save more lives. 

To work in healthcare is to know the sacrifices you’re willing to make for people—strangers—to live. 

“Not spicy, beef, no red pepper flakes and the wrap is toasted,” Sam lists while taking out the doner kebabs from a paper bag. She’s the charge nurse for the day shift. She looks exhausted already; her hair tie is a mess. “Next time you order your own food. You’re so picky .” She scowled as she took a seat beside him, gesturing for the other staff in the ER to get their food.

Theo thanks her and grabs his kebab from the table. “It’s not me being picky. I literally can die if I eat spicy stuff. And I prefer beef more than chicken.” 

“You’re so dramatic.” Sam rolled her eyes. Theo unwrapped the tin foil with a sardonic smile.

“Give me all the spices then. Let’s trigger my asthma and watch me gasp for air on the floor until I die.” 

Sam gives it some thought. “That’s a really good suggestion. You need to go. This world has enough dramatics and obnoxious bastards like you.” She smiles; it’s so fake that Theo scoffed and tried his best not to smirk.

“How can you call yourself my friend?”

Now, it was Sam’s turn to not smile genuinely. “Are we friends?”

Theo was unable to contain his laughter. He cackles.

“Wow! Alright. I see. Didn’t you empty out my Marmite and slept in my house last Thursday?” He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms together.

“It’s not just me, though. Mitch too. And I know you’re doing that out of kindness and love for your co-workers,” Sam retorted, her tone dry. 

“Pay for my Marmite and for staying in my house.”

“They pay you more money than me, Dr. Villanueva. Don’t be cheap now.” 

“That’s because I work every chance I can get!”

“Still bigger than mine.” Sam immediately gave Theo a threatening look when she realized what she said. She shakes her head and mouths ‘Don’t.’ She’s done with his ‘That’s what she said’ jokes. Theo smirks, but he lets her off this time. He takes that as a small victory as he leans his back on his chair and eats his shawarma, continuing on with his work. 

“You should take another patient in.” Sam looks up at the board of patients with their chief complaints. “You can take the broken ankle one,”

Theo grumbles, “I literally haven’t started eating yet. This is my first break, Sam.”

“You’re an ER doctor, kiddo. Plus, I suggested a mild one. Do you want a post-tonsillectomy hemorrhage?” Sam quirks an eyebrow. Theo immediately shook his head and took a bite of his shawarma. He does not want to get sprayed with blood today.

The two of them have become quiet, eating and enjoying their food in silence despite the chaos around them.

"Why are you here?” 

Theo almost choked when Sam bluntly asked that. He swallows his food and looks at her, offended. “ What? ”

Sam gave a thin smile. “Come on, Theo. You and I know what today is.”

Theo pauses, his jaw ticking. Suddenly, he has a dejected and guilty expression on his face.

“Yes. Everyone knows.”

“You can go home. I’ll tell Taylor you had to. He’ll understand.” 

Theo felt irritated, but he knows that Sam is just looking after him. He heaves out a sigh instead, calming himself down.

“I’m fine.” Theo says, giving a small smile. Sam opens her mouth to say something, but Theo stands up and puts down his unfinished kebab on the table. “I’ll see the other patients. Don’t eat that. I’ll eat it later.” He gave a pointed look and walked away, avoiding Sam’s worried gaze. 

Theo, together with an intern, Katie, went through triaging all of the remaining patients in the waiting room. Most of the patients are getting agitated with how long they’ve been waiting already. Theo’s quietly thankful that the cases for today are not as gruesome as they usually are. Especially today. He can’t take it.

“Alright. Remember to not move your ankle too much. It’ll heal eventually after a couple of weeks.” Theo says while typing the orders for his patient. The woman, who is a few years older than him, smiles.

“Thank you, doc. I’ll be back here for my checkup on Tuesday.” 

Theo frowns slightly as he looks at her. “You don’t have a checkup on Tuesday, Jan.” He chuckled. Jan smiles cheekily at him.

“I know. I just want to see your fine ass.” she stated while eyeing him up and down. Theo laughs rather awkwardly and gives her a concerned look.

“Right… Wait for Nurse Evans to give you the prescription I ordered and then you’re good to go home.” Theo says, “I have to see other patients. If you’ll excuse me.” He clears his throat and moves towards the door. 

“You do know that I’ll still see you on Tuesday, right, fruitcake?” Jan calls out. Theo forces a smile as he holds onto the doorknob. 

“I know, Jan.” He says wearily, almost to himself, "I know."

Theo went to the nurses' station. Sam is currently filling out a couple of forms on her tablet but there’s amusement on her face. 

“I see that you’ve been talking to Jan.” she says, stifling a giggle. Theo rolls his eyes. 

“She broke her ankle.”

“I know. She specifically asked for you.” 

Theo deadpanned, clearly not amused. “Is that why you suggested it earlier?” 

“She wanted her fruitcake .” Sam muses, finally laughing. Theo grumbles under his breath. 

Jan’s been their patient, coming in and out of the ED for two years. She started calling Theo that nickname the moment she laid eyes on him. Of course he already told her to stop calling him that, but Jan doesn’t listen at all. 

“If she knew that , she wouldn’t have been flirting with me.” he muttered under his breath with a knowing look on his face and Sam chuckled, agreeing with him.

They grew quiet as Theo started reading through the chief complaints for his next case but he could feel Sam staring at him. He sighed.

“Gonna tell me something or just stare at me?” 

Sam opens her mouth in contemplation. 

“Are you really sure you’re okay with being here today, kiddo?” she asks quietly, her tone uncharacteristically soft. That’s the voice she uses whenever she has to speak to a patient about something really unpleasant. It amuses Theo that she thought he wouldn’t pick up on that.

“Why do you keep asking that? I told you, I am fine.”

“Theo,” she says. “Even Dr. Taylor said that you can take a few days off. It’s what you need, especially today—“

“Well, Dr. Taylor doesn’t know what I need.” Theo snapped. He’s always snapping at people these days, always on edge. Sam wasn’t even fazed, already used to it. 

The doors of the ER suddenly bursts open and an unconscious kid on a gurney is being wheeled in before Theo could even say his apologies to Sam. Without a word, Theo and Sam ran to them. 

“A 12-year-old girl, shortness of breath, no history of respiratory issues. She was found like this by her sister in their living room. Parents are out doing groceries.” The paramedic informed them and they arrived in the pediatric trauma room. 

However, Theo stayed beyond the doors of the room; his legs were not cooperating with him. 

His heartbeat suddenly rapid, the place blurring around him. He feels like he can’t breathe. He felt stuck to his spot. 

“Dr. Villanueva?” Katie tried to call him. “Dr. Villanueva!” 

He hears a distinct ringing in his ears, a flatline, and a muffled call of his name.

Oh, not now.

Through the commotion, Sam realizes that Theo’s still not in the room. She turns and sees the state he’s in. She ordered a nurse to put the oxygen mask on the kid before going to him.

“Theo!” she shouts, holding his arm tightly. That seemed to get Theo out of his head. He takes a shaky breath in.

“Right—vitals?” Theo says, striding to the room like whatever the hell that was just didn’t happen. He checks the vitals, assesses her condition, and starts telling orders and monitoring the residents who are on the case, but he still can’t feel like he’s in his own body. He’s on autopilot. 

Theo doesn’t know how he got in the bathroom. He clutches onto the sink, breathing sharply. He opens the faucet, shakily, and splashes water in his face; droplets of water are falling from his nose.

He can’t believe that just happened. He can’t believe that he almost lost a patient—again because he let it get to him. He has moments like this all the time, especially when he steps into that godforsaken room. 

“You okay?” Sam asks once he stepped out of the bathroom. It seems like she’s been waiting for him. She’s leaning against the doorframe.

“What are you doing there, Snoopy?” Theo asks, turning to walk away. Sam follows.

“Theo—“

“Sam. For the last time, I’m fine . Like what I told you earlier and much earlier than that. Okay?” 

“Kiddo, I know how much Krystal meant to you and then every time you’re in the peds—“

“Sam.” Theo abruptly stops and turns to face her. Sam flinches, surprised. He holds onto her shoulders. “Stop fussing over me. I’m okay . I can handle myself, alright? Please. Let’s just save some patients.” He smiles as he gently squeezes her upper arms.

Theo didn’t wait for her response and walked away from her, shoving his hands in his pockets, feeling Sam’s worried gaze penetrating the back of his head. 

For the entire shift, Theo had tried to avoid Sam, even if it was practically impossible since she’s always there in every case that the ED gets. He doesn’t get why Sam’s fussing all over him. He’s fine . He’s always fine. That’s what he often tells himself every day.

Or so he wants to believe. 

Theo heaves out a soft sigh as he leans against the counter. It’s 3pm and he feels exhausted. His entire body feels so heavy, like he could collapse anytime soon. But he stays standing up and running around the ED helping patients. Today’s quite busy. He can’t even count with his fingers the number of people he’s already helped. 

“Dr. Taylor said you’re free to go anytime.” Sam says. Theo sighs deeply. He didn’t even see Sam sitting nearby. But then again, he’s in the nurses’ station. 

“So eager to get me home, huh?” 

“We’re all tired of seeing your sulking face.” Mitchell, a third-year resident, comments as he strides by. Theo huffed and glared. 

Sam playfully smacks the back of Mitchell’s head when he walks by her. Mitchell didn’t mind at all and just went into a room to see a patient. “He’s kidding. And I’m eager to get you out of here because you’re not feeling well.” 

“You’re a doctor now, are you?” Theo smirks, his tone playful. Sam shook her head.

“No. But if the doctor’s pride is too big, it’s up to the nurses to slap that off their heads. Don’t you think?” Sam gave a fake smile. Theo rolled his eyes.

“Shut up.”

“Physician heal thyself, Dr. Villanueva.”

Theo scowls, “Don’t throw Bible verses at me now.”

Sam simply shrugged and went off to assist the patient in bed three. 

After Theo had finished patching up an old lady that accidentally cracked her head open, he went out to the cafeteria to grab himself an energy bar. He feels like his sugar is too low and he’s actually on the verge of collapsing despite just joking about it earlier to Katie during their triage checks. He’s craving something heavier in his stomach, but that’s for another day. He might cook this Sunday for himself.

His phone suddenly rang in his pocket. It’s Arthur, his brother. 

“Hi, what’s up?” Theo greets. 

“Hey, Kuya. Are you still on duty?” Arthur asks. Theo can hear some background noise, but the most noticeable sound is someone adding ice to a glass. He must be drinking again, Theo thought.

“I am. Why?”

“Really? You’re still on duty? Do you ever rest? “

Theo scoffs. “I’ll be off in three hours. Why’d you call me again?”

“Tita Linda wants all of us to have dinner together in our house later, for… you know. ”

Theo is silent for a moment. Putangina. 

“Why? I don’t want to do that.”

“Tita said that we should go to church before dinner. She wants you to be here. ”

“I don’t want to celebrate a… death anniversary, Arthur. And I most certainly don’t want to go to church. Andrei’s not even planning on doing anything—he hasn’t even contacted me.” Theo said bitterly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Come on, Kuya. It’s not a celebration. It’s just to remember Krystal and you know that we’ve all loved the kid. And I talked to Andrei earlier. He’s gonna come for both the mass and the dinner .” Arthur sighs deeply. He could tell that his brother was tired. But he focuses on the fact that Andrei’s coming over. That’s a surprise. Theo stares at the floor, his feet tapping gently. 

Theo still can’t understand how, after all this time and all that happened, they all still have faith.

“Kuya? ”

“Uh—yeah. Still here.” Theo said. He ponders, “I’ll be there, but I won’t attend the service.” he eventually says. He hears Arthur sigh in relief.

“Thanks.”

“No problem, Art.” Theo begrudgingly said. They bid their goodbyes and then the call ended. Theo taps his phone on his hand, chewing on his bottom lip. He honestly doesn’t want to go later, especially if Andrei’s gonna be there. He could ditch it and just stay home, but he knows damn well his guilt can’t take it.

With a heavy sigh, Theo went back to the ED and braced himself for the night ahead.

Theo pulled up the driveway and stopped the engine of the car. He looks out Arthur’s house and sees his family from the dining room window, setting up the table. 

And then he sees Andrei. 

Andrei’s talking with Arthur and they’re laughing about something. It’s been a couple of months since Theo last saw him and he doesn't know what to do.

Should he just flee? He can’t face him. He feels his throat drying up, his stomach churning. He feels nervous. 

But he knows he can’t back down now. Especially now that he and his aunt had made eye contact. His aunt smiled broadly and waved, and when the rest of them realized, they all did the same. Theo forces a smile and waves back before he takes off his seatbelt and grabs the wine and a bag of Jelly Babies he bought earlier in the store. 

“Theo! Anak!” His aunt greeted him once he got into the house and immediately smothered him with kisses on his cheek. “Why weren’t you at the mass earlier?”

“Hello po, Tita Linda. We were swamped earlier in the ER. I couldn’t come. I’m sorry.” he lied through his teeth. He knows damn well that if he says he didn’t want to come, he’ll be nagged at. When Linda leaned away, she started to scan him, up and down. She always does this.

“Oh, that’s fine then but kumain ka na ba? Mukhang ang payat-payat mo na!” Have you eaten yet? You look so thin already!  

“I ate earlier, Tita. Don’t worry.” Theo reassures with a laugh, but he cowers when his aunt gives him a look. She’s obviously not buying it. 

“Hay nako. I told you to always eat on time. Knowing you, you only had coffee and some energy bars.” She scoffs and snatches the wine bottle from him. Theo simply gave a thin smile.

“Not true at all. In fact, I had shawarma—”

“And that was the only thing you ate? Theo—”

“Tita!” Theo interrupted, chuckling. She gives a kind smile.

“Oo na. Oo na. Kumain ka na lang ng marami dito. I cooked sinigang, your favorite.” Fine. Fine. Just eat a lot here. Theo gives a wide grin and nods. She pats his shoulder before she goes into the dining room. Theo took off his shoes, putting them neatly on the shoe rack, as well as his coat.

“Theo! Hey!” Bea greets and smiles. Theo leans over to peck her cheek. She gives a playful look. “You know, I’d assume that you’re always late because you don’t like helping out with setting up the table.” 

Theo scoffs and waves a dismissive hand. “I bought the finest wine for compensation. Tita already took it.” 

"Of course you did." Bea snickered. She takes a pause and leans in a conspiratorial way. “Heads up, Andrei is here.” she whispers. 

Theo sighs, “I know. Art told me.” he whispered back. “How was he?”

"The usual, but obviously more sad because of what today is," Bea said softly, and Theo nodded, drawing a thin line with his lips.

“I also bought this,” Theo says, waving the bag of candies in his hand. Krystal used to love it. “Is this allowed in the altar?” 

Bea shrugs. “Maybe. Tita said it’s all of Krystal’s favorite stuff so I think it’s allowed. I think she’ll like it.” 

Theo nods and cocks his head towards the dining room. “You should go. I’ll be there in a second.” He briefly glances at the end of the hallway; there’s a table with Krystal’s picture and candles on each side of it. Bea squeezed his upper arm and smiled solemnly, leaving Theo alone.

He walks closer to the table, gripping the bag of candies in his hand.

“Hi, kulit. Here’s your favorite. I learned my lesson with getting you the Maltese. I know how much you hated that.” Theo smiles faintly, placing it down near the picture. Krystal is smiling widely; it’s one of his favorite pictures of her. Andrei took it during one of their outings.

It was impossible for him to continue looking at her photo; each time he does, a few pins pierce his heart. His conscience can’t take it. 

After that, Theo went into the dining room. Everything is set up already and there’s a lot of food that his aunt and Bea prepared. 

“Tito!” Joy, Arthur’s daughter, exclaims with a smile. They all looked up. Theo waves at her and then his eyes meet Andrei’s. Andrei gave a timid, uneasy smile at him.

“Hey,” Theo greets.

“Hey,” Andrei echoes. It was suddenly awkward and tense in the room. 

Arthur clears his throat. 

“Sit already, Kuya. I’m already starving.” he says and gestures towards an empty chair for him to take a seat. Theo took a seat in between Joy and Linda, with Andrei across from him. They all settled down and immediately held each other’s hands except for Theo.

“Really?” he asks in disbelief. His tita glares at him and clicks her tongue, grabbing his hand and Arthur’s

“Talaga. Magdadasal tayo, Theo. ” Really. We’re gonna pray, Theo. 

Theo heaves out a soft sigh and gives in as Joy takes his hand as well. 

Linda led the prayer; they all had their eyes closed except for Theo. He’s not even going along with the prayer. His desire to be religious is long gone now. He stares at Andrei before him and he feels the same emotion he felt every single day.

Guilt.

The prayer finishes and Andrei opens his eyes. Their eyes met. Theo felt his chest constricting. He takes a deep breath, calms down, and gives a thin smile to Andrei before averting his gaze as though nothing is wrong.

Dinner wasn’t tense at all, all thanks to Arthur and Linda, who are leading the conversation. They keep on telling stories about Theo and Arthur’s childhood as Theo desperately tries to stop them both. They didn’t listen at all. In the end, Theo lets them as he takes a sip of his soda. 

If you can’t beat them, join them, or whatever that quote says.

He kept checking to see if Andrei was enjoying the conversation. Andrei’s smiling and laughing, but Theo knows that he’s hiding his real emotions under that facade.

After dinner, Theo and Andrei helped with cleaning the table while Joy went off to play and Arthur went to his mini bar in their house. 

“Matutulog ka ba dito, Theo?” Are you gonna sleep here, Theo? “I already prepared the guest room for you.” Linda said while removing the remaining food from the plates in the sink.

Theo shakes his head while wiping the table.

“No po, tita. I’m on duty tomorrow. Plus I didn’t drink any wine anyway; he mostly did.” He tilts his head over to Arthur, already nursing himself a glass of scotch on the rocks. Bea rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“He never changed.” 

“Will he, though?” Andrei asks and Theo shakes his head without any hesitation. Linda sighs while Bea snorts.

“Talk to him about the dangers of drinking—doktor ka diba?” You're a doctor, right? Linda looked at Theo over her shoulder. 

“You think I haven’t spoken with him? You know how stubborn he is.” Theo scoffed. Bea agreed with him while Linda and Andrei chuckled. Arthur’s always been stubborn ever since they were kids. Despite Theo being older than him, he never really listened to him. 

They continued on with cleaning the table and the dishes. Andrei’s constantly looking in Theo’s direction while Theo’s acting as if he doesn’t know at all. Bea notices. She clears her throat.

“Can you two handle this? I have to talk to Tita about something.” she says and subtly tugs Linda’s arm, who frowns at her.

“Yeah. We can handle this.” Andrei reassured with a smile. Theo looks at Bea suspiciously. Bea simply grinned and tugged Linda out of the dining room before the old woman could even say anything and Theo could protest ‘No! Don’t go! Don’t leave me here!’ but it was too late and they’re left alone.

Theo felt even more uncomfortable. He and Andrei haven't been left alone in a room for a long time. The last time it happened was at Krystal's memorial, and they ended up yelling at one another. 

“So, how have you been?” Andrei asks, breaking the silence. Theo didn’t look at him; his eyes settled on the plate in his hand.

“I’m fine.” Those words are starting to sound hollow to him. “You? How are you holding up?”

“Not fine.” Andrei replied and stopped loading up the dishwasher. “At least be honest with me, Theo.” he sneered, annoyed. 

Theo’s hand tightened on the plate. He swallows. 

“But I’m fine.” he presses on. Andrei heaves out a deep sigh. He looks tired of him. 

“You’re fine? After what happened, you’re fine?” Andrei asks facetiously. “I don’t know if this is some kind of coping mechanism for you, acting like you’re fine when in reality you’re not. It’s obvious you’re not fine. Neither of us is.” 

“Why did you even come here, Andrei?” Theo asks instead, finally facing him as he puts down the plate on the table. “If you’re not fine, why are you here? Why are you torturing yourself like this?”

“And you’re not?” Andrei shoots back. “I’m here because Tita asked me to be here and I know Krystal would want me to be here.”

“Despite what you really feel?” 

“Yes.” Andrei responded without hesitation. “What do you think, Theo? I’m not doing fine. My daughter is dead. Everything that she should have been and could have been,” he bitterly said, eyes glazing. “And I can’t sleep at night thinking about how lonely she must have been in her last moments.” 

Theo’s throat tightened, his jaw ticking. “I was there .”

“And you did nothing.” 

Theo's heart was beating too quickly, and he felt as though his ears were throbbing. Anger suddenly filled him.

“I did everything that I could to save her. Everything . What makes you think that I did nothing? Huh?” Theo snapped, his voice raising ever so slightly. “I didn’t give up on her until her last moments. I tried so desperately to keep her alive but… it wasn’t good enough.” His voice cracked. 

Andrei looked a bit guilty, but he kept his head high. “But you still have no idea what it's like to lose a kid.”

Theo looks taken aback. That felt like a shot at his chest, the blood now gushing down the floor, pooling at his feet. Andrei realizes what he said, his face dropping.

“I’m sorry.” 

“No. It’s fine.” Theo runs a hand over his mouth. “I’m fine—”

“Stop saying that!” Andrei shouted. Theo glared at him. 

“I’m gonna go. I have an early shift tomorrow.” He rasped, walking out of the room.

“Yeah. Walk away, like you always do!” He hears Andrei shout, but he doesn't look back. He grabs his coat from the rack, slipping it on. He desperately needs to get the fuck out of here before he explodes.

“Theo? You’re not staying?” Arthur asks when he gets to the door. Theo turns and Arthur and Joy are there, sitting on the couch. It’s obvious that they’ve heard everything.

“No. Early shift tomorrow. Have a knack with that, though.” He motions towards his glass, taking another sharp, deep breath. His hands are trembling.

Oh god, not here. 

Arthur hums and looks at him with concern. “You okay?”

“Fine! I’m okay,” Theo says and waves a hand, walking away without looking back. “Say to Tita that I had to do something—and thanks for the food!” he exclaims and closes the door behind him. Arthur and Joy exchange worried glances.

Theo digs for his keys in his pocket and opens his car. He straps the seatbelt on himself and drives away from the house. 

His breathing is erratic, his knuckles turning white from how tight he’s gripping the steering wheel. He can’t believe that simple sentence had triggered him. 

He kept on driving until he couldn’t take it anymore. He abruptly stops at a quiet street and stumbles out of his car. He slams the door and walks away even if he doesn’t know exactly where he's going. 

The wind has become stronger, and the salt breeze suddenly becomes more prominent. Theo kept on walking, breathing in and out sharply, until he collapsed on the sand near the cliffs.

“Okay. It’s okay… I’m okay.” He whispers to himself, his hand shaking as he pats for his inhaler in his pocket. Theo brings it to his mouth and takes a deep breath, inhaling. He chucks it off the sand; it’s his last one anyway.

Theo’s breathing eventually calms down and the place isn’t shaking anymore. He sighs deeply, feeling like his whole body is numb. He crouches down and curls up to himself, wrapping his arms around his knees as he rocks back and forth, focusing on the sound the waves are making. 

He hates this. He hates this so much .

He didn’t even notice the footsteps getting nearer him until he heard a man speak.

“You’re in my spot.” 

At that, Theo's brow furrowed momentarily. When he looks up, he sees a man with unkempt stubble, his shirt and suit crumpled as if he had just put them on without giving them any thought. Although he doesn’t think about that too much, he realizes that someone had caught him crying. He feels embarrassed.

But now that he’s thinking of it, his spot? The fuck does that mean? Theo wants to respond with something dry, something sarcastic, but he doesn’t have the energy to do that. Instead, he apologizes and gets up to leave, but the man stops him and quickly assures him that everything is fine. He then sits down again and doesn't talk to him. 

Theo thought that the man would walk away and leave him alone, but he didn’t and stayed. He didn’t expect it at all. Most people would walk away, not get involved with someone who is clearly in distress, but here the man is. Sitting beside him in silence. 

Perhaps he understood him. 

Perhaps he knew what it feels like.

Theo was quietly thankful for that.

Before he knew it, Theo was acting awkward and pouring his entire heart into this poor stranger. He was ashamed of himself, but he also felt at ease for some reason. Theo felt comforted even if the man didn’t speak at all. 

All he needed was someone to listen, after all. 

“Alec,” Theo says thoughtfully and nods, smiling. “Nice to meet you, Alec.” 

Alec looks astonished with the phrase Theo said. 

“That’s a first. For someone to be pleased to meet me.” Alec stated wryly. Theo raises an eyebrow. 

“Why? Does everyone hate you so much that once they hear your name, they run off like you’re some kind of monster?” he jokingly jabs, chuckling. Alec hums and tilts his head a bit, considering it.

“Aye. But they don’t run off like I’m ‘some kind of monster’.” He air-quotes with a bemused look. Theo pauses, staring.

“Wait, seriously?” he asks, surprised. 

Alec nods. “Seriously.”

Theo studies him for a moment and Alec feels like he’s a specimen under a microscope. 

“You don’t seem so bad, though,” Theo pointed out, frowning. “You stayed here with me even if you could have walked away.” 

Alec stares at him and shrugs.

"Out of obligation," he said, a little jokingly. Theo scoffs and rolls his eyes, a smile playing on his lips despite himself.

Alec felt like he achieved something when he made Theo smile. 

“Why? You a cop? You thought I was gonna do something drastic if you left me alone?” Theo asks, raising an eyebrow. Alec stares. That’s a first. Theo doesn’t know him at all? 

“You could say that,” he says instead. “And are you? I mean, were you gonna…do something if I left you alone earlier?” He asks cautiously.

Theo looks at him, then bursts out laughing as if it were a huge joke. Alec frowns at him.

“What? Why? What’s funny?” he asks, a little lost. 

Theo shakes his head. “Sorry,” he coughs and clears his throat. “Sorry,” he repeats once he’s calmed down. “No. I wasn’t gonna do anything. I don’t plan on doing anything like that because I’m too much of a coward to do… whatever you thought of,” he hastily explained, gesturing with his hand. 

Alec’s still perplexed. “I still don’t get why that's funny.”

“It’s funny because I’m a coward and I wouldn’t even think of doing that—okay. No. I would . But I wouldn’t do it—plus, I never follow through with anything that I plan... Which reminds me of all the stuff that I had to do tonight. I was supposed to…” Theo gradually stops talking when he realizes he’s getting sidetracked and Alec is merely staring at him with a stoic look. He swallows and smiles awkwardly. “Yeah. Not funny.” 

“Right…”

Fuck his big mouth. What was he even saying? Theo wanted the sand to swallow him whole. He’s always digging his own grave. They were again enveloped in silence. He shifts uneasily in his seat, unsure whether to keep talking and possibly make himself look stupid  again or keep his mouth shut. Before he can even make up his mind, Alec gets up from the sand and grunts. 

“It’s getting late. We should go home,” he says and offers his hand to Theo. Theo hesitates at first, glancing at Alec and then at his hand, before finally taking it. Alec’s hand is rough, yet his touch is gentle and warm. 

“Thanks.” Theo takes his hand back and for whatever reason, his hand feels numb and aching. “And thank you again…for earlier.”

Alec simply gave a nod and small smile, patting the sand off his trousers. 

“You okay going home by yourself?” asks Alec and Theo nods.

“Yeah. I’m fine now. Don’t worry.” he reassured with a wave of his hand. “My house isn’t that far from here.”

“Okay. Good.” A pause. “Bye, Theo.” 

“Bye,” Theo says and turns to leave. However, before he could even take another step, Alec speaks again.

“Hey, Theo?” 

Theo turns and faces him. There’s a reassuring look on Alec’s face. 

“I know everything feels too much right now, but everything will be okay. Eventually, you’ll find the purpose of why you’re still here.” 

And then, Alec walks off before Theo could even react. He stares at the back of Alec’s head, unmoving. He could still see the brief, soft smile Alec gave him. Theo hopes that Alec’s right. 

He hopes to see him again.

.

.

.

.

It dawns on Theo that he never asked for Alec's number. He was already home when he realized that.

Putangina talaga. 

Chapter Text

Today is Saturday, and it’s Alec’s day off. 

He doesn’t have anything planned for today, and neither does Daisy. 

Although Daisy has been on her phone all morning, her thumbs dancing across her phone’s keyboard. She hasn’t even looked at Alec. Teenagers. From time to time, a smile would break onto her lips that piqued Alec’s curiosity. 

There’s nothing wrong with smiling at your phone. Not at all. No. Whether it would be about whatever your friend said or a meme (he called it ‘me-me’ the first time he read it, and Daisy had to teach him what the proper way of saying it was and showed him some examples. He doesn’t understand ‘memes’. If they’re supposed to be funny, how come Alec just feels annoyed when he sees them?), it’s all okay. 

However, Daisy’s smile is definitely not because she found a post funny. Her eyes are bright and wide, twinkling. Alec knows that look. Could it be…a boy? Or a girl? Does she even fancy anyone right now? Honestly, Alec doesn’t have a clue. Daisy doesn’t really share that part of her life. Any part of her life, really. 

Alec doesn’t want to interfere or berate her, but as any parent would be, he feels that sense of protectiveness, especially after what happened with those boys that hounded her a couple of weeks ago. He wants to know if she’s safe, and he also has to play his cards right to not irritate her.

Once Daisy wavered her attention from her phone to the telly, Alec spoke.

“Who were you texting?” Direct to the point, too straightforward?

Daisy has broken out of her reverie and flinched at that. Huh. She looks at him and smiles, a bit nervous if you ask Alec, and shakes her head. 

“No one... That was just Chloe.”

Alec’s eyebrow quirked up at that. Chloe? As in Chloe Latimer? 

…Of course. 

“You two sure have been hangin’ out a lot more together these past few days.” There’s a hint of interest in his tone, but Daisy didn’t notice it at all. 

“She’s really fun to be with.” Daisy beamed delightedly. Alec tried not to laugh at that. 

“I see,” he mutters. He browsed through the channels on their cable and landed on ‘The Great British Bake Off’ . The contestants are baking steamed suet pudding. The last time Alec ate that was when Tess and he were in this fancy restaurant for one of their dates. It wasn’t to his liking, but he wasn’t that appalled with it as well. He wonders if that restaurant is still open.

“Why are you watching that, Dad? You’ve never been fond of baking,” Daisy comments. 

Alec tosses her a glance. “‘Am preparing so that when I get invited into that show, I’ll know what I’ll do.” 

“I think you’d burn the entire place down,” Daisy jested, and Alec immediately threw her a glare.

“One time I burnt a pancake. One time. And it wasnae even that burnt,” Alec grumbled, defensive. Daisy laughs.

They grew quiet again. Alec takes the chance to ask more questions. “So… how are things between you and Chloe?” 

Daisy takes a pause when Alec asks that. She looks at him wearily. 

“Why are you suddenly asking me about Chloe?” 

“Just curious.” Alec shrugged innocently. “She’s going off to university this year, right?”

“Yup.”

“And it’s in London?”

“Yes?”

“That’s a long way from here.” Alec noted and side-glanced to check Daisy’s reaction. She’s frowning.

“I am aware of that, Dad.” Daisy pursed her lips. “But… we’ll always text each other when she’s in London. I’ll even pay her a visit.” She sounds like she’s reassuring herself that that will happen. His expression softens.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Alec says, and Daisy knows he somehow understands her. She simply nodded, still tight-lipped. She feels like her dad is suspecting something, which is probably why he’s asking questions about Chloe. 

And he’s certainly right about his gut feeling. He always is.

Daisy knows that her dad wouldn’t be mad at her. He’d even be supportive and accepting. Even so, she still hasn’t found the courage to tell him about Chloe and her, and she hasn’t discussed it with Chloe yet.

Daisy had to distract him.

“You know what, Dad? Since we’re not doing anything today, maybe we could have a movie marathon.” she suggested. Alec obviously noticed her changing the subject, but he didn’t press on. That’s for another time.

“Movie marathon?” he inquired, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Yeah! How about… ‘Thelma and Louise’? ” Daisy asks. Alec scowls, and Daisy immediately knows it’s a no. She tries again. “ ‘Clueless’? ”

“Daiz, I already watched that with you. Not again.”

“Fine,” Daisy huffed. “Oh! How about ‘Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back’?”

That caught Alec’s attention; both of his eyebrows raised. Not because he wants to watch it, but one person immediately came into his mind. I wonder if he’s doing okay today… 

“Not really in the mood to watch ‘Star Wars’ today,” Alec says instead, waving a dismissive hand. Daisy visibly deflates, and her upper lip curls up.

“You don’t like anything!” Daisy exclaimed, exasperated. Alec wrinkled his nose and realized that he actually does not like anything. Is he that much of a cynic? If you ask him what his favorite movie is, Alec will answer you with nothing but silence. Though, he did enjoy a bit of Bruce Lee back then.

He puffs some breath. “Okay. Fine. Whatever you say next, I will agree—”

“‘How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days’! ” Daisy says almost instantly. Oh, bloody hell. He hasn’t watched the movie before, but he knows that it’s a romcom, and he’ll most probably judge it throughout the whole thing. Before Alec could open his mouth and protest, Daisy waved a finger.

“You said you will agree. Plus, this is a chance to spend more time with me. You said you’d make more time for me. Remember that?” Daisy asks while smiling knowingly. 

Alec grimaces. “You are really comfortable with playin’ that card…” he muttered. Daisy shrugged innocently.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Alec heaves out a deep sigh as if what he’s about to do is such a big task. “Fine. Let’s watch the bloody movie,” he yields, and Daisy smiles widely.

“Finally!”

“Okay. Before we watch, we should eat lunch.” Alec pointed out as he stood from the couch, glancing at the clock. It’s already 10:00 am. “No takeaways. We’ve had enough of those for the entire week. I’ll cook.” he states and strides to the kitchen to check what they have.

“You’ll cook? Again?” Daisy asks skeptically, with a hint of teasing.

“Let it go, Daisy,”

She chuckles, “How about Spaghetti Bolognese then? I’ve been craving it.”

“Spaghetti?” Alec asks, a bit skeptical. “Do we even have ingredients?”

“We do!” Daisy says, a little too brightly. Alec looked at her and squinted his eyes at her with suspicion. She gave a thin smile. “I got the ingredients when we went shopping in Morrison's last week.”

“Ah, so you already planned it.” he says dryly and takes a deep breath. “I’ll cook your precious spaghetti, then.” 

It was going fairly great.

Alec had his ingredients, he knew what to do, and he had the recipe opened on his phone. He was in the middle of cutting some onions and garlic when everything went wrong. It all happened so fast. Daisy screamed— squealed,rather—in the living room because of God knows what and also startled the shit out of Alec. The next thing he knew, the knife slipped off his right hand and accidentally cut deep into his own index finger.

Ban him from the kitchen. Seriously. 

Alec’s eyes widened as he felt the sharp pain on his finger and saw how the blood oozed out from his wound. It also made him dizzy and nauseous. Though, fortunately, his finger is still intact.

“Shit!” he shouted. Alec doesn’t know what to do. He hastily grabs a couple of tissues and applies pressure to his wound. 

“Dad? What—oh my god!” Daisy shouts, petrified. Her eyes are wide. There are drops of blood on the floor and some on the counter. It was like a crime scene, Daisy thought. She runs towards him. “Oh my god. Holy shit—“

“Language.”

Daisy gave a look. “Seriously?” 

Alec ignores that comment and hisses, clenching his teeth. He takes off the tissues and goes to the sink and tries to wash the blood off.

“Why did you even scream? Did somethin’ happen?” he asks, a bit annoyed. Daisy suddenly looks sheepish, pressing her lips together.

“Chlo finally got the Taylor Swift tickets for the concert we’ve been waiting for months,” she quietly answers, and Alec stares at her, face stoic.

“I’m sorry! I got excited!” Daisy exclaims, guilty. Alec sighs deeply and closes the faucet to check his finger. Daisy peers over. The bleeding won’t stop; he cut it too deep.

“That looks really bad, Dad. We need to get you to the A&E.”

Alec shakes his head. “No. No hospitals,” he said firmly. “It’s fine. I can just wash this again and put some plaster on it.” he mutters and takes a deep breath through his teeth. It hurts so bad. 

“No, Dad! The wound looks deep, and what do you mean, plaster? Plaster isn’t gonna do shit for that!”

“What did I tell you ‘bout using words like tha’?” 

Daisy sighed deeply. “Yeah. Yeah. Let’s just focus on getting you to the A&E first,” she exasperatedly said. 

After some back and forth and stopping Daisy from contacting Ellie to give them a ride to the hospital, he caves in and drives them himself to the nearest A&E. Alec doesn’t understand why Daisy is fussing. It’s not that bad. 

Well, that is until they were triaged by a nurse, who told them that he needed a couple of stitches for the wound and that he lost some blood.

Still, Alec and Daisy had to wait for an hour since his condition wasn’t as life-threatening as the others. Alec felt like he was going to go insane with the waiting. He hates waiting. 

The waiting area is crowded today. Most of them are coughing, and their noses are red due to the weather changing, while some have the usual kitchen injury like him, and then there’s this one teenager around Daisy’s age that has a fork stuck up her nose. Alec wonders how she even got that in the first place.

“Daiz, we should just go home. I’m fine already. See? It’s not even bleedin’ anymore,” Alec says, briefly taking off the small cloth off his finger that Daisy hastily gave him earlier in the car. The blood indeed has stopped, although he could still feel his finger throbbing.

“And leave you wide open like that? Oh no, Dad. You have to get stitches like the nurse said—and why are you eager for us to go home? Are you that scared of hospitals?” Daisy asks in astonishment. Alec gave a deadpan look.

“No. ‘Am not scared of hospitals, Daiz. Why would I be scared? It’s definitely not ‘cause it's full of dead, sick people… etc.” 

“I see.”

“You don’t believe me, do you?”

“Nope.”

Alec shakes his head and rolls his eyes. It’s not that he’s scared of hospitals. Alec just doesn’t like the eerie feeling that hospitals give from their never-ending white walls, overwhelming antiseptic smell, and the bright lights… Christ, he hates it. It makes his head throb.

“Mr. Hardy?” 

Alec and Daisy perk up when he’s finally called. A man approaches them. He’s wearing navy blue scrubs with a white t-shirt underneath, a stethoscope around his neck, and an ID clipped on to his pocket that says ‘DOCTOR’.

Alec briefly forgot the pain in his finger when he immediately recognized who the person before him was standing. It’s Theo . He looks a lot better now and more put together. His eyes widened, and Theo smiled at him.

“Hello.”

“Hi,” Alec greets back, surprised. Daisy frowns, eyes shifting from her dad to Theo.

“Sorry for the wait. We’re a bit backed up inside but you can both come in now. I’ll be your doctor today and I’ll take a look at your injury,” Theo says and cocks his head towards the doors. Though before Theo could take a step again, he was called by another patient. It’s the mother of the teenager that has a fork up her nose.

“Uh, doc? How about us? When will my daughter be called?” she asks. Alec noticed that Theo's eyes widened momentarily upon seeing the teenager, trying not to react or smile.

Theo purses his lips together. “Uhm,” he clears his throat. “She will be called when it’s her turn and will have our… utensil specialist take a look at her.” 

Alec lets out an involuntary snort at that, and they all look in his direction. Theo was doing his best to appear calm and the mother is staring at Alec with anger.

“Okay! We should get going.” Theo exclaimed and turned, a smile finally breaking onto his face. 

They followed Theo behind the doors, and it’s a lot more packed with patients, and almost every room and bed is occupied. All of the doctors and nurses are busy with their own patients. No wonder why the waiting time reaches eight hours.

They entered a room shortly after that. The lights are warmer and softer; Alec’s quietly thankful for it. Theo sat on a chair and motioned for Alec to sit on the bed, to which he complied. At the same time, another woman in her scrubs—a lot younger than Theo—came into the room.

“Can I assist you, Dr. Villanueva?” 

“Oh, hi, Parker!” Theo greets with a smile, “Is it okay if a student doctor observes?” he asks Alec while slipping some blue gloves on his hands. Alec nods. He doesn’t really care. He just wants this to be over with; the pain is unbearable, but he has to act like he’s fine in front of Daisy.

“Okay. Let’s take a look. May I?” Theo asks again, and Alec hums. Theo gently takes off the cloth on his finger and puts it aside. He assesses the wound as he gently holds Alec’s hand, humming to himself. “Alright. Thankfully you didn’t cut off your entire finger. It’s not too bad. Just nicked an artery. It’s gonna need a couple of stitches, though. You don’t have any drug allergies?” he asks and Alec shakes his head.

“Okay…Then what will we do, Parker?” Theo asks, glancing up at her. Parker straightens up.

“We’ll inject lidocaine to numb the skin. And two ccs of Cefazolin. ” she answers and Theo looks pleased with her answer. 

Theo cleaned his wound, injected it into his skin, and then began suturing it. Alec felt some prick and burn, but it’s not that painful. He looks away from his finger and how the needle inserts into his skin. He wants to be sedated. 

“Oh, what the fuck…” Alec hears Daisy mutter under her breath. He shot her a look, but it quickly softened when he noticed that the color from her face had drained.

“Daiz, you can step out if you want. I’m fine.” Alec reassures. Theo glances over at Daisy and smiles kindly.

“Your dad is in good hands. You can sit outside if you can’t watch this.” he says. Daisy hesitates for a moment, but her eyes briefly glance at Alec’s wound with the thread protruding from his skin. She looks like she’s gonna be sick.

“Yeah. Yeah… probably for the best. I can’t—“ Daisy shakes her head and goes out of the room. 

Silence filled the room after Daisy left. The air is somewhat tense, and the humming of the air conditioner is the only thing circulating in the atmosphere.

Alec stares at Theo. He’s a doctor?  He starts studying the man in front of him; he didn’t get a good look at him during that night. Theo’s tall, though, not taller than Alec. Maybe two inches shorter than him. His dark brown auburn hair is slicked back, he has a strong jaw, and he has black eyes. And he’s definitely bigger than Alec. In physique , he meant. He wonders if the doctor could carry him like he’s nothing. 

Alec thinks he can. 

“You wanna tell me why you’re staring at me like that, Alec?” 

Alec almost jumped out of his skin when Theo spoke. He flinches, and he accidentally moves his hand, but thankfully Theo’s grip is strong on him, though gentle at the same time.

“Refrain from moving too much. You might get even more injured if you do,” Theo says softly, snorting. Alec clears his throat, feeling embarrassed.

“I think you know why I’m staring at you like that.” He mutters that Theo finally stops suturing and looks up at him through his glasses, head tilting slightly to the side. Alec felt restless under his eyes, timidly smiling. 

“How have you been?” 

Theo smiles back, warm. “I’m…” He trails off, “doing fine. Trying to. I think,” he considers, almost quietly. “And you? You didn’t mention you had a daughter.” 

Oh, hell . Small talk. One of Alec’s weaknesses. Alec takes a deep breath.

“And I didn’t know you were a doctor.” Alec jabs back, and thankfully, that made Theo chuckle. He relaxes slightly. “And yeah. She’s seventeen, turning eighteen this year.” He ponders for a moment. “Any kids?” 

Alec immediately regrets asking that. He saw how Theo tensed up, his lips pinched, and his eyebrow creasing slightly. Regardless, he forced a grin up at Alec instead.  

“How did you even get this cut? What were you doing?” Theo questions, changing the subject. His expression became distant. Alec wonders if this is related to that night on the beach. He’s curious, yet he knows that he shouldn’t delve into it and just mind his own business.  

Alec takes a deep breath. “I was cutting onions and garlic when my daughter shouted from the living room. I got really surprised…hence the injury,” he answered and Theo laughed heartily at that. 

“Why’d she scream?”

“Because she got tickets for a concert.” 

“Really? For a ticket?” Theo asks in disbelief. 

“It’s Taylor Swift.” Alec simply answered and Theo nodded.

“That’ll do it.” Theo snickered. “But you know… people your age do get startled so easily,” he stated with a playful smile on his lips. Alec raises an eyebrow.

“Really? You’re talking as if you’re not around my age. How old are you?” Theo didn’t even flinch with his faux blunt tone. He laughed.

“You don’t ask people around for their age. That’s quite rude, isn’t it? But I’m younger than you, Alec,” he retorted in amusement. “Meanwhile, you have an entire family and a daughter that’s seventeen.”

“I’m rude? You just said, ‘people your age’.” Alec said incredulously that Theo only laughed at. He continues, “And I’m 48. That’s still young.” 

“You’ll be fifty-six by the time she’s twenty-six.”

It felt like a kick to Alec’s gut. However, Alec is aware that Theo is only messing around with him. Alec kept his impassive look. “Well, there goes your patient’s satisfaction from me.” 

Theo chuckles, “I can charm my other patients to give me a perfect score, Mr. Hardy. I’ll live without your review,” he responds, smirking.

Smug. Alec thought and rolled his eyes, although there’s a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He can’t believe he’s actually enjoying this.

Parker shifted uneasily in her spot, feeling uncomfortable. She can’t believe this is happening in front of her. It’s like they don’t even see her presence in the room, like she’s some kind of ghost only passing by. She clears her throat to catch their attention.

“Uh, Dr. Villanueva? Is there anything I could do to help?” she asks. Theo and Alec looked at her and finally realized she’s in the room with them. The tips of Theo's ears turned red in embarrassment. 

“Oh, Parker! I’m sorry.” Theo hastily said and paused for a moment. “You know what? Glove up. You’ll finish the second layer.” He completes the suture and cuts the thread before he gets up from his chair.

“Oh. Yeah. Sure,” Parker said, albeit awkwardly, relieved to be finally doing something other than observing them—whatever they had been doing before.

Alec blinked as his gaze went from him to Parker. “She’s gonna do it? Isn’t she a student?” 

“Yes. She is. This is how they learn, Alec. By doing it themselves. This is a teaching hospital.” Theo explains, “It’s okay, don’t worry. I’ll step in right away when she does something even remotely wrong. Okay?” he reassures with a kind smile.

Alec stares at him. Even though he has only met Theo twice, he somehow feels totally at ease with him. He’s never felt that before. He reluctantly nodded, giving him his permission

Parker continued the stitch that Theo started, carefully and gently as possible. Theo peers over to see how she’s doing with a pleased look on his face. 

“Alright. Rotate your wrist and follow the curve of the needle. Exit at 90 degrees, the same distance from the wound,” Theo instructed, his voice gentle. He waits for Parker to finish before continuing, “The first tie is called a surgeon’s knot. Wrap the suture twice and grab the short end. Then pull with just enough tension. Bring the wound edges together. Don’t pull too tight so he won’t have any railroad tracks on his finger.”

Parker followed every single one of his instructions. It’s not perfect; there’s definitely room for improvement, but she’s learning. Theo certainly knows how things are done and how to teach things. Smug, yet competent. Alec could deal with that.

Parker finished suturing Alec’s wound and placed a splint underneath his finger to avoid it bending and opening the stitches. It was like it wasn’t cut open at all—well, except for the stitch visible on his finger now. Theo pats the med student’s shoulder.

“Good job, Dr. Parker,” Theo says earnestly. Parker looked a bit surprised when Theo addressed him with a title, but a smile broke on her lips. 

“Thanks,” Alec tells Parker, who beamed at him. 

“Thank you for the trust, Mr. Hardy. Keep it clean and dry and we’ll see you at a wound check in two days,” Parker states and Alec nods. Theo smiled at that.

“No thank you for me?” Theo asks in jest as he writes Alec's prescription.

“I don’t think you need it.” Alec replied dryly. He smiles lightly when Theo shoots him a light glare. “Thank you.” he says sincerely, “and you’re a really good teacher. You tell your student what should do and you step back and watch. You let them learn.” 

Theo waves a dismissive hand, scoffing. He looks bashful; he’s not even looking at Alec. “Nah. I’m not.”

“But you are, though,” Parker pointed out. Theo only frowned; he looks like he doesn’t believe them at all. 

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re doin’ really well,” Alec insists, his tone soft. He continues. “I’d even let you be my teacher and teach me some stuff.” he sincerely added, although Theo and Parker heard it differently.

That made Theo’s cheeks flush. Did Alec even hear what he said? Parker stifles a chuckle, while Theo gives a smile.

“Well… thank you, Alec. That’s really nice.” Theo replied and scratched the back of his neck. He coughs. “Uh—sutures are out in a week. Come back right away if there is any redness, fever, or drainage. Take these twice a day, every morning and night after every meal.” He gave him a piece of paper with his medication and some pain relievers. Alec takes it with his free hand, their fingers briefly brushing one another. He ignores the way his fingers felt numb.

“Okay. Thank you again. Take care, Theo.” 

Theo grins warmly, “Take care too, Alec.”

Alec also smiles, but when he catches himself, he drops it. He swallows. “Take care too, Parker.” 

“Take care, Mr. Hardy.” Parker said, grinning. Alec smiled timidly at her, gave Theo one last look, and went out of the room. Parker lets out a laugh she’s been holding once Alec’s not around anymore.

“I didn’t think that you could flirt with patients, Dr. Villanueva.” Parker teases. Theo glances at her with an incredulous look; he looks flustered again.

“I wasn’t flirting at all! That’s just unprofessional. I just…knew him. That’s all.” he says rather defensively, taking off his gloves and throwing them in the bin. 

“I think you just saved our FFT with Mr. Hardy. Pretty sure he’ll give you a perfect ten.” Parker smiles knowingly, enjoying the opportunity to tease Theo in this way.

“FFT doesn’t work like that and you know it, Parker.” He rolled his eyes while scoffing, “I will assign you to triage for the rest of the shift if you keep this up.” He threatened, but Parker knew he wasn't serious and just laughed at him. 

“How do you know him?” Parker asks, following Theo out of the room and to the center of the ED.

“Talked to him. Spoke to each other.” Theo vaguely answered, not looking at her at all. He kept his eyes up at the board for their next patient.

“So you’re friends?” Parker asks and Theo shakes his head, eyebrows knitted together.

“No,” he replied, “no. We’re not friends. We just knew each other. We just had a talk that one night because—why am I even explaining it to you?” he asks, dumbfounded, which made Parker laugh. “And how can we be friends when I…” Theo paused when something occurred to him that made him pause and his expression fell. 

Alec’s number. He forgot again.

“Shit,” Theo mutters under his breath. “I—I’ll be right back. Take the next patient and take their history of why they’re brought in and…” he tells Parker before hurriedly leaving the ED without even responding to her perplexed ‘ What?’. 

Theo looked around the waiting room, but Alec’s not there. It was a mistake, though, as some of the patients began to bombard him with questions about what was happening and how they were all getting frustrated with waiting. After making a few excuses and diverting their attention with the triage nurse, he hurried to the parking lot in the hopes that Alec would still be there. 

He sighs in relief when he finally spots Alec; he’s about to get into his car.

“Alec!” Theo shouts to get his attention. Alec stopped and turned. Surprised, his eyebrows shot up to his forehead. 

“Theo? Wha—have you been runnin’? ” he incredulously asks. Theo halts in his tracks and walks instead, shoving his hands in his pockets as if he hasn’t been doing that at all. He doesn’t look cool, At. All. 

“Er—just jogging. Not running. Walking, that is.” Theo stammers, his voice a pitch higher. Alec looks at him as if he’s grown three heads. He shakes his head and composes himself. “I just—forgot. I didn’t get your number,” he says, a lot more calmly now.

Alec stills for a moment, slightly confused. “Didn’t I give my number earlier in the waiting room to a nurse?”

“Well—” Theo felt nervous. Why? It’s just his number. Just spit it out! “I meant the personal one. You know. I didn’t ask for your number that night. I forgot.”

There it is. It’s out there. However, Alec is merely staring and Theo couldn’t read his expression at all. Is he weirded out by him? Shocked? Surprised? What?

“Why do you want my number?” Alec eventually asks, indifferent. But… he’s teasing? His tone says so. Theo gapes at him, blinking. 

“I mean… you listened to me that night and I appreciated that. At least let me buy you a drink as my thank you.”

“I don’t drink.” Alec said, “Anymore.” 

“Tea?” Theo tries. Alec looks like he’s considering it.

“I could go with tea.” 

Theo felt that familiar warmth of happiness creeping up to his chest as he tried not to smile widely. “Great! Good. Er—“ he starts patting his pockets for his phone, but nothing. He must have left it in the room. His shoulders deflate. “Oh god. I left my phone.” 

All of a sudden, Daisy peeks from the window that made Theo jump. She smiles. “There’s a pen here.” she says, waving the said pen in her fingers. Theo looked at her, astonished, but muttered his thanks as he took it. 

Theo writes Alec’s number on his hand and gives back the pen. Theo couldn’t stop smiling. He’s basically trying not to jump on his spot. 

“Okay. Thanks. I have to go back,” says Theo, shoving his hands back inside of his pockets. He feels a bit fidgety; his heart is still racing from running earlier. And a little bit because he finally got Alec’s number. 

“Yeah. Go on. Lives to save.” Alec nods with a thin smile. Theo waved goodbye and went back inside, hopping rather animatedly. Alec shakes his head and snorts, then gets into his car and closes the door.

“Wow.” Daisy says in amusement. Alec shakes his head.

“Not another word.”

It’s been five hours since Theo last saw Alec. He finished his shift for the day and he had been staring at his phone ever since he finished taking a shower. His fingers tap on each side, chewing on his lips nervously while thinking.

‘Hi! This is Dr. Villanueva’  

He cringes inwardly. Too professional. 

‘Good evening, Alec. This is Theo! How are you?’  

That sounds automated. What is wrong with him? It’s just a text. Why is he overthinking a goddamn text?

‘Hello, Alec. 😊 It’s Theo. This is my personal number, just letting you know. xx’  

With kisses? Really?

‘Hello, Alec. 😊 It’s Theo. This is my personal number, just letting you know.’ 

There. That’s good enough. Isn’t it? Theo’s thumb hovers over the send button, shaking. 

Oh, fuck it. Theo presses the send button and gently throws his phone onto the coffee table. He stood up from his couch and went off to do some dishes to take his mind off of it. 

Although the moment he hears his phone pinging, he immediately dries off his hand with a small towel and rushes off to check. 

‘Noted. Alec.’ 

Wow. Cold. Theo thought, his eyebrows furrowed together.

‘Why do you type like that?’

The response is almost immediate. 

‘Like what?’

‘Like an old man. Professional. Like we’re not even friends.’

‘Are we friends?’

‘I basically saved your life from a life-threatening finger wound earlier.’

‘Yes. We are friends.’

‘We’ll be friends if you buy me that drink.’

‘Drinks on me then.’

‘Are you sure asking your patient out for a drink is okay, Dr. Villanueva?”

'Past patient.'

‘I’ll go against HR for you, Mr. Hardy.’

‘We’re not even friends yet and you’re flirting already.’

‘It’s a whole package. Being friends and flirting. My special sauce.’

‘I don’t like it.’ 

‘Deal with it.’

‘So, when are you free?’

‘Friday night.’ 

Theo scrunches his nose up at that. He’s on duty for Friday night. He signed up for it a week ago because he thought that he wouldn’t have any plans, but here he is now, contemplating whether to call in sick to have drinks with Alec or not.

In spite of that, he answers. 

‘Friday night it is.’ 

Chapter Text

Alec has always been dreadful at making friends. 

Other people seem to understand the general idea of how to make friends, approach people, or talk to them, while he was having a hard time grasping the idea. It could be because there’s no logic at all behind it, no steps, or he’s just… incredibly bad at it. Or perhaps because, as a child, he was alone most of the time and was isolated from other kids because he didn't particularly have the desire to socialize.

He was aloof and sullen, two of the many reasons why people his age didn’t interact with him. 

Of course Alec wanted to have friends. He liked being alone, being at his own peace, and minding his own business, but it can get lonely. Most of the time. He hated it.

Therefore, he read a book titled "How to Win Friends and Influence People" in secondary school and attempted to apply it to other people, but he just got more awkward and weird. He spent the entirety of years 7 to 11 eating alone in the field or cafeteria and no one would talk to him, and if someone ever did, they were just doing it for the sake of a project or a partner-assigned activity their teacher would tell them to do. 

And so, Alec tried to put himself out there when he was in university. He tried being more ‘friendly’ and ‘approachable.’ Although, whenever he tried talking, he would catch himself rambling or stumbling over his words. He doesn’t know how it happens, how he would indubitably end up talking about the most bleak and lulling topic ever. 

That had been the case when he went to Ellie’s house for the first time. 

He honestly had no idea why he started ranting and talking about first names and his dislike of using them. He felt uncomfortable and out of place and his brain went, ‘Oh, what do you think is the best thing to talk about right now? First names! Yeah! That would definitely make things a lot lighter!’

Good lord. 

Alec can still clearly remember the way Ellie’s face fell and how Joe Miller got uneasy. 

He was aware of all social cues that people who interact with him do when he starts doing this. Their smiles would become more tense and awkward, suddenly excusing themselves in the middle of a conversation or changing the subject in order to save themselves from the torture of his rambling.

Alec doesn’t know why he’s like this. He has no problem with talking to suspects or witnesses involved in a case. But put him in a situation where he needs to casually talk to someone about the fucking weather or whatever it is that they land on as a topic? It’s gonna be a mess. 

This was his predicament last Friday when he went to the cafe and got drinks with Theo.

At first, Alec was nervous, and he was making a fool out of himself. But Theo reassured him and led most of the topics, which made him more relaxed and comfortable that he was also starting to share some stuff about himself. Theo was like a breath of fresh air and he was also incredibly witty when it came to responding to Alec’s dry quips and sarcastic comments.

Alec felt like he was actually gaining another friend.

From that day forward, Alec’s conversations with Theo became more often than he anticipated. He never thought that Theo and he would be in touch, even if sometimes he would forget to respond to his text messages (sometimes Theo would also disappear from time to time, most probably because of his work, Alec thought).

Their little meetings have also become more frequent, and as if this town wasn't already small enough, they’d run into each other in the most random place one can think of.

(Seriously, Alec ran into Theo in a plant shop when Daisy needed a pot for her Biology class.)

Maybe it’s fate? 

Fate. What a funny thing. Absurd, even. Alec doesn’t believe in it. Like how he doesn’t believe in superstitions. It’s all…boohockey. Bullshit.

Throughout their interactions, Theo is always the one who would ask Alec out to cafes or down to the beach to talk. Just talk. Alec mostly stays quiet for most of it, providing comments and sarcastic jabs every now and then while Theo does all the talking. Which was fine for him. Theo talks, Alec listens. 

Alec doesn’t understand why Theo does this, but he does get genuinely happy…elated, even, when the latter asks him out.

He will not dwell on that thought further. He’s gonna push that to the back burner for now.

—

Morrisons has always been great for grocery shopping, although it can get a little overwhelming sometimes. 

By that, Alec means always. 

Since it’s a Saturday, a lot of people are shopping. There’s a kid screaming at his mom for the sweet he wanted in aisle three, employees offering free samples, older people taking the chance to get more than one free sample that they’re practically full from it, and a few individuals, like Alec, just trying to get through the chaotic and bright aisles.

And by the way, he’s stuck in the shampoo aisle.

Daisy told him earlier to grab her a bottle of shampoo that she uses before he left. He forgot to list it down and now he can’t remember what kind of shampoo it was. One thing he’s sure of is that shampoo is way too strong; he hates it. 

Alec stares at the myriad choices of shampoo bottles in front of him, his nose scrunching up in distaste with the mixture of smells. He could just pick one and say some excuse to Daisy that they ran out of her brand of shampoo, but he couldn’t do that. He mutters a curse under his breath, deciding to call Daisy.

“Hi, Dad! What’s wrong?”

“What shampoo is it? I can’t remember.” Alec picks a shampoo and squints his eyes as he tries to read the contents, adjusting the glasses perched on his nose. He hears Daisy sighing from the other line.

“Open your cam and point it at the shampoos so I can see and tell you what it is,” she tells him. Alec takes his phone off his ear and searches for the button to open his cam. 

“Bottom part, left side.” 

After some struggle, he manages to open it and Daisy’s face comes on the screen. “Hello, Dad’s forehead!”

Alec rolled his eyes and put his phone at a distance. Daisy shakes her head, trying her best not to laugh loudly.

“Too far down, Dad. I can see your double chin. ” 

“For Christ's sake,” Alec grumbled, genuinely getting mad now, which finally cracked Daisy into a fit of laughter. Alec puts his phone at the right distance and Daisy nods proudly.

“There you go. Now, flip the camera to the shampoos. ”

Alec sighed exasperatedly. “You couldn’t have said that earlier before the whole thing?”

“I’m sorry! The button is at the upper right of the screen,” Daisy said in between her laughs. Alec rolls his eyes. He feels like he’s a two-year-old baby that’s only starting to walk. He managed to do that faster than opening the camera and the shampoos finally came on screen.

“Which one here?” 

“Hmm…. Oh! I see it. That one at the top, the brown one. ”

Alec reaches out for the brown bottle and reads the contents. His eyebrows furrowed together. “Wood? How is wood scented?” 

“It smells good and I like it.” Daisy replied. Alec huffed, putting it in his cart. He flips the camera again. 

“Anythin’ else you want?”

“Chips!”

“Already got that.”

“Ice cream then.” 

“I shouldn’t have asked.”

“But you did! You have now the obligation to get it for me.” 

“I’ll get you the mint one.”

“No!” Daisy whined. Alec smirks. 

“Bye, Daiz.”

“Don’t get the mint one! I hate it.” 

“It’s like you're brushing your teeth. Two in one.”

“Come on, dad—“

Alec ends the call with a small snort. He immediately receives a text from Daisy that says, ‘NOT mint flavored!!!! Especially NOT minty chocolate 😡, ’ which made him laugh. He takes off from the shampoo aisle and continues to get the rest of the essentials that they need for their house before getting Daisy’s chocolate ice cream. The ones with the nuts and marshmallows in it—she likes that flavor. 

As he was about to head to the checkout counter, someone had accidentally—or intentionally—bumped into his cart. Alec looks up and ofcourse it’s Theo.

And he thought that fate, coincidence, or whatever is all horseshit.

“Hello,” Theo greets with that big, warm smile of his. It was a bit blinding. 

“Hi,” Alec greets, surprised. “Okay. I have a question for you. Are you stalking me?” he asks dryly, quirking an eyebrow. Theo smirks, tilting his head from side to side.

“Well… yes. You know the little cameras? The really expensive ones? I bought a bunch of them so that I can see where you go everyday because I am so obsessed with you, my love!” he exclaims while swooning fakingly and goddammit, it made Alec laugh. 

“Bastard.” Alec scoffed as he tried to beat off the smile on his lips. He lost. 

Theo snickered. “What are you doing here?” 

Alec gave him a look. “What does one do in a supermarket, Theo? Bungee jumping?” he asks sarcastically. Theo scowled at him and lightly smacked his arm for that.

“Bwisit. I was asking genuinely.” he scoffed, “And you’d be surprised. You can actually bungee jump in some supermarkets. I tried it once when I was seventeen. Really fun,” Theo said flatly. He looks serious. Alec raises an eyebrow.

“You’re bullshitting me, right?” 

“I’m bullshitting you.” Theo laughed. Alec gave him a disgruntled look, huffing. He tries to redirect his attention to the contents in Theo’s cart instead. 

“Daily necessities… and a bunch of sweets and Jelly Babies. I didn’t take you for a sweet tooth,” Alec says in amusement, raising his eyebrows. 

Theo stares and looks over his cart. He seemed perplexed for a moment. 

“Huh,” he muttered under his breath, subtly nudging the packs of Jelly Babies. “I don’t even remember putting that there.”

Alec frowns. “What?” 

“Oh, nothing,” Theo answered and smiled. The kind of smile that’s shutting down any more discussion into that topic. “You finished with shopping? We could grab some beers in the parking lot before we go home.” he offered, motioning towards the cans in his cart.

“Tempting offer,” Alec gave a thin smile. “But I don’t drink anymore, remember?”

Theo gives him a look as though what he said is ridiculous. “You think I’d forget? Those are non-alcoholic beers, Hardy. I wouldn’t offer if it wasn’t.” He rolled his eyes. “Come on. We could eat some of those chips.” He briefly looked at the bag of chips in Alec’s cart and subtly tugged on his arm and went off. 

Alec smiles to himself before he follows Theo to the checkout counter.

—

“So you mean to tell me that you really didn’t want to become a doctor in the first place?” Alec asked curiously, glancing over at Theo. Both of them are seated on Theo's car's trunk, with chips and beer cans between them. 

“Not really.” Theo shook his head, puffing some air. “I actually wanted to take up architecture. I’ve always liked painting and drawing.” 

“Why didn’t you?” 

There was a shared silence. Theo’s face scrunched up in hesitation and bitterness, his lips in a thin line.

“My parents…wanted me to be practical. They think that it’s a waste time and they thought that all of their work would go to waste if I did pursue that.” Theo takes a deep breath; he sounds exhausted. “They—I mean, my dad was pretty adamant about me taking a med course. Since I was a kid, he’s always told me to become a doctor because that’s where all the money is. No matter how much I tried telling him I didn’t want to take it. We even got into a big argument about it.” 

“They dictated your career choice,” Alec stated quietly, softly.

“Pretty much. I mean, don’t get me wrong—I do like it now. I like being a doctor. I like helping people,” Theo said earnestly, smiling lightly.

Alec studies the look on Theo’s face, then he raises an eyebrow.

“But I think you’re still thinking, ‘What if I took this instead of this?’” He gestured with his hand from left to right.

“Ofcourse, I do. We all think about the ‘what ifs’ with all of our choices,” Theo pointed out and looked over at Alec. “I did have a choice. I could have taken a different course behind their backs, but I was so scared of disappointing my dad. He expected so much from me and he constantly talked about how much he’d like me as a doctor. I wanted to please him and I did. He was happy.”

“Were you?” Alec questioned, holding his gaze with Theo’s. Theo shakes his head.

“I wasn’t,” he muttered with a bitter smile. A beat. “Atleast he was happy. I gave him some happiness before he was gone.”

Alec’s expression softens. It’s always the same story. Parents with their own expectations and visions for their kids of what they want them to be instead of asking what they want. They rarely bother to take account of what their children really wanted.

He could relate to it at some point. His parents didn’t dictate what he wanted to take in university, but they did have some expectations for him. Demands of him being the best and not giving them any disappointment. However, Alec really didn’t care about what they thought of him. He did as he pleased and he’s happy—no. He’s content with his job. He’s good at what he does. 

“But you weren’t happy,” Alec pointed out, a bit firmly. “Being a people pleaser, desperate to meet others’ expectations of you—in this case, your parents—that you lost yourself in the process.”

Theo looked surprised at that, amused, really. “Woah, now,” he chuckled. “Don’t call me out like that, Hardy. I know you’re a detective but chill out, man.” 

“I’m just sayin’.” Alec shrugged, pursing his lips. “It’s not healthy to live your life trying to please others. You’re sacrificing your own happiness and well-being.”

“Now, this feels like a police interview or something,” Theo says, still trying to play it off as a joke. “I hate letting people down. Largely, it’s the main reason why people like me. Because I do…as they please,” he muttered under his breath, taking a sip of his beer.

“So people like you because you don’t have a spine?” Alec blurts out before he could even stop himself. He could tell that he annoyed Theo by how blunt he was. “No offense,” he muttered quietly, swallowing. 

“None taken.” Theo puffed out, frowning slightly. “But how can you say that?”

Alec shrugged, his gaze still holding Theo’s. "Because you're letting everyone push you around. You're sacrificing your own happiness and wants just to please others. That's not having a spine." he explained. "It's not just about being a people pleaser. It's about not standing up for yourself. Like, when someone walks all over you, you just let them. Like a doormat." 

That seemed to get into Theo. He had taken a pause; he looked deep in thought while tapping his fingers on his beer can. And then, he speaks again.

“How about you, though?” 

It was Alec’s turn to frown. “How about me?”

“Since we’re telling our…observations, or so to speak,” Theo says while gesturing with his hand. “You don’t circle around. You don’t bullshit people. You’re blunt and I don’t think you care if you come across as rude—which is both a good and bad thing. But… I actually want to be more like you. I think I’m too nice.”

“You’re too nice?” Alec echoes, chuckling. Theo’s shoulder slumped, his face blank.

“Why is that funny? Am I wrong?” 

“It’s not funny. You’re a bastard sometimes, though.” Alec pointed out with a grin. Theo pursed his lips and nodded, acknowledging that. He snorted and continued, “You just care a lot about what people think of you. Way too much, I think.”

“And you don’t?” 

“Not really,” Alec said. “I don’t really care how other people perceive me. And you’re right. I’m not one to hide the truth, even if it hurts. But atleast I’m honest with myself and others.”

“There’s a limit, though,” Theo immediately responded, facing him. “Sometimes you need to take a step back and stop. Look at their perspective.” 

Alec narrows his eyes slightly and raises an eyebrow. He couldn't help but find Theo’s words a tad condescending. 

"Oh, and I suppose you're all about seeing things from every perspective and being understanding?" he retorted, a hint of defensiveness in his tone. "Sometimes the truth hurts, and being blunt is the only way to get through someone's thick skull."

“I know. But from what I learned in my job, you should always try to look at all perspectives and try to put yourself in their shoes,” Theo replied calmly. “It’s called being open-minded,” 

Alec rolled his eyes. "Being a doctor doesn't automatically make you an expert on everything, you know," he said, his tone tinged with snarkiness. "Being open-minded is fine and dandy, but that doesn't mean you have to let people walk all over you. It's about finding a balance."

Sensing that Alec’s getting irritated, Theo quirks an eyebrow.

“Okay. That’s true. Finding a balance. So, it’s okay to tell people the truth but also be mindful of what you say,” he says softly. “Don’t be mad, Alec. We’re just having a conversation. We both have a point and I agree with you.”

Alec huffs softly, running his hand through his hair in annoyance. He was used to people telling him to soften his tone, to be less blunt. It grated on him. But there was something about Theo, how he didn't back down or get flustered by his gruff demeanor. That was almost...refreshing, in a way. 

He looked at Theo for a moment, the irritation fading slightly. "I'm not mad," he grumbled begrudgingly, sighing.

The tension lingered in the air as they became quiet. Alec felt like he was at fault for doing that. He shouldn’t have opened his big mouth. He ruined the night by making things uncomfortable. He always does. Good job, Hardy! A round of applause for you.

Alec clears his throat, fingers tapping on the trunk of the car.

“Listen… I didn’t mean to insult you or anything—“

“I know, Alec.” Theo interrupted him, his tone gentle. “I wasn’t insulted at all. You were right. I overcompensate and I please people without thinking about my own feelings. It’s true. It’s one of my bad traits that I’d want to change—which I will, eventually.” 

“Right…” Alec mutters and scratches the back of his neck. “I just feel like I ruined the night,” he admitted quietly. 

“No, you didn’t. It was nice. Fun. I enjoyed it. I always enjoy talking to you.” Theo grinned. Alec didn’t waver his gaze from Theo; the tension on his shoulders slowly left him. He enjoys talking to him? That bewildered Alec. Most people hate talking to him. Theo continues, “Not a lot of people call me out on my bullshit and I actually need more of those in my life.”

“I’m still sorry. For being…blunt,” Alec quietly said.

“Don’t be,” Theo reassured, nudging his knee with his. Alec smiles and nudges his knee back. 

“You know, I have a theory about you,” Theo said, breaking the silence between them. Alec raises an eyebrow, intrigued.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. As I said earlier, you are blunt, but I think you’re doing that to protect yourself.”

Alec snorts, amused. “Wow. You’re a psych now? Aren’t you an ER doctor?” 

“I can be anything you want me to be, Hardy.” Theo flashed him one of those smug grins. Alec rolls his eyes.

“Okay. Why do you think so, Skinner?” 

“You know Skinner?”

“We learned about him in university, Theo. So, why? Why is that your theory about me?” 

Theo shrugs, pursing his lips. “I don’t know yet. I’m gonna find out though.”

“Assessing me now, are you?” 

“Yup.” Theo says, emphasizing the ‘p’. “So you better be on tiptoes around me the next time we hang out. I’ll be studying every move you make.” 

Alec smirks and shakes his head, snickering. He reaches over for a chip and then retrieves his hand back.

“Oh, look at that. I took my hand back—that means that I deflect everything!”

Theo tried not to smile, stoic. “That’s not how it works.” 

“Every move, you said.”

“Gago.”

Alec laughs, the sound genuine and lighthearted. He didn’t even notice the look on Theo’s face, his grin warm and gaze softened, fixated on Alec. Theo took a sip of his beer, trying to hide his smile behind the can. 

Their conversation continued; the ice cream in Alec's trunk had already melted and been forgotten.

Chapter Text

Theo had always fancied an iced coffee every morning. He always brewed himself one before having a run along the harbor. He never really exercised much back then, but Andrei influenced him into working out and now it’s fully integrated into his life as part of his routine.

He likes having a routine, having a list of things to follow through for the day ahead. He likes organizing tasks, breaking them into small portions so that he wouldn’t feel overwhelmed with his workloads. If something happens that completely throws Theo off his list, he wouldn’t be able to function well, and he’d be restless for the rest of the day, which sometimes leads to a full-blown anxiety that he hates. 

It was serene when Theo arrived in the harbor, the sun beginning to rise on the horizon. He starts to run, the early morning sunlight and crisp breeze seeping through his skin. He has always enjoyed the peace and quiet of solitude, as though the outside world doesn't exist. Aside from that, running helps him distract himself from unpleasant, perturbing thoughts.

It began when he was just starting in university. 

They were still coping with losing his mom. His mind was haywire, a blur. He couldn’t think straight. From being a righteous, smart student, he fell hard. Theo got into all sorts of trouble and he often wasn’t home, mostly drinking out with his friends and then coming home completely pissed. His father and he would always fall into an argument; however, despite that disappointed look on his dad’s face, Theo could tell that he was also concerned for his well-being.  

Nonetheless, Theo was inconsolable, and he was petulant as a child at the time, so it didn’t get through his thick skull.

One night, after Theo had gotten into a fight with his friend while drinking, his father asked him to come out without any reason at all. Theo wanted to be left alone in his room, but his father was persistent. He didn’t have any choice but to follow him—especially when Bea went into his room and tugged him out. 

The four of them—Arthur, Bea, his dad, and him—ended up in a field near their house and their dad just made them run. Theo didn’t understand at first, but it helped for a brief moment. It felt like Theo was running away from his problems; he felt free, out of the shackles of his own predicament.

And so, Theo would simply run whenever he felt overwhelmed with his problems. 

He ran when he was on the verge of breaking down in med school. 

He ran when his dad died a couple of years ago.

And he ran when Krystal died a year ago.

Although, with Krystal, he didn’t do much running. It didn’t help as much as he thought it would. Theo felt an unbearable, visceral anguish that settled in his chest that he’d often fall into a dark void. It was different from when he lost his parents, because Krystal's death was his fault.

Theo slowly stops running and takes a sharp breath in, his hands and legs trembling all of a sudden. Oh, Christ. Seriously? He thought as he crouched down and held onto his knees, trying to remember those breathing techniques that they teach to their patients.

It’s fine. I’m okay. He repeated it over and over again until his breathing slowly became more stable. 

When he looked around, he noticed that a few people were looking at him. They didn’t even approach him. Just peering at him like he’s some kind of circus freak and he hated it. It left a bitter taste on his tongue.

Theo stood up, heaving out a deep sigh. The sun has completely risen up in the sky and more residents are beginning to roam around the harbor, some of them doing their laps for this morning. He glances over at his watch, realizing that he only has an hour left for his work. He decides to go back to his place, walking away from those people who had been staring at him.

Theo thought that a cold shower would help his thoughts, but it didn’t. He mindlessly pulled on his scrubs and combed his hair back. When he passed a mirror, he scowled at how bright his clothes were. He’s currently wearing neon blue scrubs. He despises it, but he needs to wear this in order to get a new one because the majority of his scrubs are still in the dispenser.

Just as he was finishing a bowl of oatmeal, his phone buzzed; a text message came in. 

'Good morning.’ 

For no reason (I doubt that. Really.) at all, Theo immediately perked up, feeling elated at the sight of Alec’s message. He puts down his spoon, clears his throat, and presses the call button. After a couple of rings, Alec answers.

“Good morning,” Theo greets rather cheerfully and hears Alec scoffing from the other line.

“Why’d you call?” Alec asks, a bit gruffly, although there’s a hint of a smile in his voice.

Theo rolled his eyes. “You texted me first. I took that as an invitation to call,” he answered and perched his elbow on the table. “What are you having for breakfast?”

“Toast.” Alec replied and Theo hummed, muttering ‘of course’ under his breath. “You?”

“Oatmeal. What is so special about toasts, anyway? You always have that every single breakfast.” Theo pointed out, amused. Every time Theo calls or texts Alec during mornings, his answer is always ‘Toast’ and on one occasion, ‘Toast and beans.’ Daisy never made Alec do pancakes again after burning that pan until it turned black.

“Toasts are easy to make. Just pop in two pieces of bread in the toaster. Instant breakfast. ” 

"Mhm. So you’re lazy.” Theo concluded, teasing him. 

“‘Am not. It’s just more convenient. And don’t talk to me about ‘laziness,’ you’re literally having oatmeal right now.” Alec huffed. Theo hears a cupboard opening and mugs clinking in the background; he must be making tea, he thought.

“I make quick breakfasts because I’m always in a rush, Hardy.” he stated in a matter-of-fact tone.

“See? You do it too for convenience. So you can’t tell me that I’m lazy if you’re like this.”

“Hey, I could make big breakfasts. I am a great cook!” Theo said defensively and Alec chuckled softly; it made his chest warm.

“I didn’t say you weren’t,” he said in between his laughs. Theo smiles, humming.

“Well, unlike you…”

“Oi—“

“Put Daisy on the call and I’ll ask her myself.”

“Oh, shut up, Villanueva. Did you just call me to ruin my day in the morning?” 

“Yes, Hardy. I did,” Theo said and he could imagine Alec rolling his eyes at this moment. He smiles. “Why? Am I wrong? You were in the ER for stabbing himself instead of onions—” 

“Sliced.” Alec corrects. 

“Same thing. You’re still a disaster in the kitchen.” Theo clicks his tongue tauntingly.

Alec smirks, scoffing. “Bastard.”

Theo hums. “One time you did something good for your daughter and you got injured.” 

“No good deed goes unpunished,” Alec drawls dramatically. Theo couldn’t help but snicker, smiling widely.

“Indeed. I think you need to eat proper food for today, considering you’re living off toast and tea.” 

“‘Am fine. You should tell that to yourself. When’s the last time you had a proper meal?”

“Last…month.”

“Yes, really sad.” Alec mocks.

“Shut up, Hardy.” Theo grumbled, which made Alec chuckle. Then, he suddenly thought of an idea. “Wait—are you free later for lunch? Maybe we could both eat at that nice restaurant down the street.”

Theo’s eyebrows furrowed when he heard Alec coughing violently as if he choked on something and some clattering of pots in the background. “Are you okay?” he asks, genuinely concerned.

“Aye—yes. Fine. Just… accidentally bumped…” Alec trails off and clears his throat once again. “I could do an hour for lunch. Yeah…” he says, more composed but a bit breathless. 

“Okay… great,” Theo said, a bit skeptical. “What happened, anyway? You alright?” he asks again.

“Yes. I am. Don’t worry, Theo.” A beat of silence. “Er… Listen, I have to go. Text me later, yeah?”

Theo felt more baffled but nonetheless replies, “Oh. Okay. Talk to you later.”

“Yup. Bye.”

With that, their phone call ended. Theo stared at his phone, still bewildered and feeling a bit displeased with the way their conversation ended. But, hey. Look at the bright side—he'll be having lunch with Alec later! He finally has something good for today. Something to look forward to.

Theo finishes off his oatmeal and washes his bowl in the sink, feeling a lot lighter than earlier.

Of course, that feeling quickly dissipated the moment Theo got to the hospital. As if God is against him, like always. 

Theo entered into his department; the atmosphere was cold and tense. He initially brushed it off, given what occurs in their department and how things have always been this way, but it was different this time. He stopped halfway through entering the room when he saw Sam looking at him warily and Mitchell’s face morphed into a concerned one with his lips pursed.

“I would ask if somebody had died but knowing where we work…” Theo trails off while slowly approaching them. He yelped when Sam and Mitchell abruptly tugged him into the nurses’ station.

“What—”

“Don’t be alarmed—”

“Why wouldn’t I be alarmed if you two are acting like this?!” Theo asked indignantly, taking their hands off him while grimacing. “What’s happening?”

“Let me finish,” Mitchell hissed through his gritted teeth. “Don’t be alarmed, but… Andrei is here.”

Theo stares at them both; he feels as though a bucket of ice has been thrown onto him. He tries to be calm. “What?” 

“Well… He turned up an hour ago and said that his leave ended two days ago. Now, he’s back for duty in the ED.” Sam explained carefully. Theo didn’t react; he just gaped at them. Sam and Mitchell exchanged a look. “Are you okay?” she asks quietly.

Theo thought that after what happened, Andrei would consider moving to another department or even working in a different hospital. HR—particularly Dr. Taylor—made him take a couple of months off following that incident in pedes; he had lost it on Theo until he lay defenseless on the ground. Theo couldn’t even be mad at him for it; he knows he deserved it.

What is he playing at?

Theo took a deep breath and chose to ignore Sam’s question, walking past them towards his desk. “Really? Is he going to take over for Dr. Taylor this morning?” he asks while putting his bag on his chair.

Mitchell and Sam exchanged a look with one another again.

“Uh—no. Dr. Taylor’s going to be here this morning too.” Mitchell replied, “So there are three attendings for the day shift—you, Dr. Wright, and Dr. Taylor.”

“Okay… that’s good. More attendings, more supervisors for the interns and residents.” Theo sits on his desk while nodding. “That is good. Less workload for me.” He gave a thin smile, tapping the desk.

They didn’t believe Theo at all, looking at him skeptically. Theo's hands are trembling slightly and there's this look on his face—he looks like he’s close to freaking out.

“You don’t have to pretend that you’re okay, Theo.” Sam said gently. 

Theo shakes his head and gives a faint smile. “I’m fine,” he said. “As long as…we don’t end up fighting each other, it’s gonna be all fine.”

“Well, we all know what the chances are for that.” Mitchell scoffed and Sam nodded in agreement. Theo waves a dismissive hand. 

“It’s gonna be fine…I think—but no worries! I will be completely fine ,” he drawls, swiftly picking up his office tablet on his desk. “Tell the others that we’ll have the rounds for the day shift, please. I’ll go find Williams for the switch-off.” 

“He’s in the lounge.”

“Thank you!” Theo exclaims and walks away from them; he could practically feel their gazes penetrating the back of his head.

Theo strode off to the doctor’s lounge, but before he could enter, someone had pulled on his arm, which made him jump. However, he quickly collected himself upon realizing it was Andrei.

“You can’t just do that—”

“Walk with me,” Andrei interrupts while scrolling through his tablet. Theo raises an eyebrow but he follows him. They started looking into every room to check on their patients. “If you’re looking for Williams, he already went home for the day and told me everything that happened during the night shift. Poor bastard was tired.”

Theo nods distractedly and looks around. “Shouldn’t we get Dr. Taylor for this?” 

“Taylor’s already caught up and he’s in the cafeteria, buying himself some breakfast. I think. By the way, why are you late?”

“I’m not late,” Theo said, frowning. “I’m here on time!” he exclaimed, tapping on his watch. 

“You know that we should be here five minutes before our time.” Andrei stated while opening some curtains. They gave a polite nod and smile towards their patient (who awkwardly nodded back, not knowing what to do). Theo scowls when Andrei draws it close again.

“Are you gonna fuck around with me the entire day?” he asks. Andrei chortles incredulously, nodding. 

“I will. I’m gonna make your day miserable,” Andrei said. Theo takes in a sharp breath. His hand acted before he could think rationally, holding onto Andrei’s arm to stop him from walking any further.

“Is that why you’re here?” 

Andrei turns and Theo lets go of him. They stared at each other for a solid second.

“I’m here to work,” Andrei answered truthfully. “I’ve spoken to HR and pleaded my case. They agreed to take me in again, considering what I’ve done for this place so here we are.” He pressed his lips together into a thin smile, “I can’t just mope around in my house. I need money to pay the bills. But that doesn’t mean that I’ve moved on.” 

Theo felt offended with the way Andrei stated that, as if he’s a cruel jerk who didn’t grieve. “Just because I went back to work a couple of months ago doesn’t mean that I moved on.”

“Didn’t you say you were okay?” Andrei shot back and Theo’s mouth opens halfway because he’s right; he’s been saying that he’s fine all this time.

“I—“ Theo runs a hand over his face, frustrated. “But that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about her.” 

“Really? It seems like you have.” 

Oh, God from above. Theo’s patience is wearing thinner by the time he’s talking to this man.

“Don’t do that. You know how much she meant to me. I need this, Andrei. You know I do. This helps. A distraction.” Theo firmly said. He was about to continue when Andrei spoke again.

“You know what? Let’s keep it professional today.” Andrei said exasperatedly. Theo’s eye twitched. 

“You’re the one who started—!” Theo immediately stopped when he was beginning to shout. He attracted the attention of their colleagues and some patients. Then he inhales shakily. “Fine.” he concedes quietly.

“Good. Come on. Let’s start the rounds.” Andrei patted his back and walked off to where the residents and nurses had gathered for the rounds of the day. Theo clenches his jaw and puts his hands on his hips, looking down at his shoes, dejected.

It’s gonna be a long day.

Alec arrived at the hospital five minutes before the time Theo texted him earlier. It wasn’t that crowded today; only a few seats were taken up by the patients in triage. He approaches the front desk and there are two nurses having a conversation in a language that Alec doesn’t understand but he recognizes it. They didn’t even notice his presence. 

“Talaga ba?” Really? asks the nurse—Analyn, her ID says—who’s sorting splints in a box.

“Yes! They started fighting earlier during one of the traumas. Halata naman yung tension sa kanilang dalawa eh.” The tension is obvious between those two. The other nurse, Maria, replied with a scoff. 

“Magiging sila pa kaya?” Do you think they’ll be together again? Analyn asks wistfully. Maria gave her a look.

“Gaga ka ba? Pagkatapos nung nangyari? Malabo.” Are you an idiot? After what happened? That’s not gonna happen. 

Alec awkwardly scratches the back of his neck and clears his throat to catch their attention. They finally stopped talking and looked at him, embarrassed.

"Oh, I’m sorry. Hello, sir. How can we help you?” Maria asks while lightly smacking Analyn’s arm for ‘distracting’ her. Analyn glares at her but decides to go back to her task.

Alec tries to ignore that. “I’m looking for Dr. Villanueva. I’m his friend.” 

The two nurses shared a meaningful look.

“Oh!” Maria exclaims and smiles. “Okay. I’ll just page him,” she says and sits, picking up the telephone. She elbows Analyn and they’re whispering in front of Alec as if he’s not there at all. He only looked around, not paying attention to them.

Upon waiting, a doctor went out of the doors and walked up to the front desk, seemingly looking for something. He exclaims when he finds a pen and scribbles something on his paper. Their eyes met when the doctor was about to turn to triage. 

“Hi. How can we help you?” The man asks. Alec shakes his head and gives a polite smile.

“I’m alright. I’m just here for my friend.” he answered. The man raises an eyebrow.

“Do they work here? I could get them if you want,” he offered, pointing back with his thumb. Alec waves a dismissive hand.

“It’s fine. The nurse called Dr. Villanueva already.” 

That caught the man’s attention. He faces Alec with a mixture of intrigue and amusement, even leaning on the front desk with his elbow perched up. Analyn and Maria elbowed each other, feeling like something was about to happen.

“Huh. You’re friends with Theo? What are you here for?” The man asks while studying Alec, eyes scanning from up to down. He chuckled incredulously, like Alec just said a joke. Alec instantly hated him. “Oh. I’m sorry. How impolite of me. I’m Dr. Andrei Wright. You can call me Andrei.” He reaches out to shake Alec’s hand. 

Alec reluctantly shakes his hand while staring at him blankly. “DI Alec Hardy.” he says and takes his hand back. “And yes. Just lunch.”

“DI? Oh!” Andrei exclaimed and frowned like he’s trying to remember something. “Alec Hardy… Huh. And lunch? ”

“I just said that,” Alec said flatly. Andrei stared at him; he smiled despite his apparent annoyance.

“It’s not allowed for us to go out during lunch, you know. Busy. Especially here in A&E. Lots of work to do.” 

“Busy?” Alec asks, looking around the dull place. Andrei nodded, smacking his lips.

“Yes. Busy. You should see back there. There are a lot of gurneys in the hallway and we just worked on floating face an hour ago.”

“And yet you’re here, talking to me when you have a million things to do,” Alec said wryly, raising an eyebrow. “You should get back there, Dr. Wright. They need you.” 

Analyn and Maria watched the exchange with delight and interest. Their entertainment was soon seized to a halt when the subject of their topic finally came.

“Hi, Alec!” Theo greeted him with a warm smile, but it slowly dropped into a frown when he realized that Andrei was also here. “Oh.”

“Jowa mo?” Is this your boyfriend? Andrei said with an accent and Alec frowns, it felt directed at him (it was from the way Andrei scowled at him).

“No.” Theo gave Andrei a pointed look. “I’ll be back in an hour. Page me if something happens.”

Andrei clicked his tongue. “Okay, but you’ll face Taylor later when he finds out you’re gone.” 

“I already told him, Wright.” Theo sighed deeply. “Come on, Alec. Let’s go.” 

Before Andrei could say another word, Theo pulled Alec by his wrist out of the hospital. Alec allows him without any protest, dazed at the contact.

Andrei watched as the two left, irritated. He scoffs and shakes his head. He catches Analyn and Maria staring at him.

“Hello,” the two said in chorus, smiling knowingly. Andrei’s shoulders drop, and he walks back into their department, running a hand through his hair.

Alec and Theo ended up in the restaurant where Alec had his first Tinder date. He didn’t say anything to Theo since the latter looked infuriated, most probably because of that Wright. They sat across from each other in one of the booths. He watched as Theo stuffed his face with the carbonara he ordered while he simply prodded at the salad in his plate.

“Slow down, Theo. It’s not gonna run away from you.” Alec tried joking around but he silenced himself when Theo threw him a blank look. He rolled his eyes. “Don’t be bloody pissed off at me. Who was that from earlier, anyway?”

Now, Theo slows down with munching. He carefully swallows and wipes his mouth with a sheet of tissue. “Yeah. You’re right. Sorry,” he said apologetically. “That was my ex.”

Oh. The awful, sour taste on Alec’s tongue suddenly made much more sense.

“You two ended on bad terms?” Alec asks instead. Theo’s expression changes at that. There’s more of a gloomy, downcast look on his face. 

“You could say that,” Theo puffs out some breath. “But it’s… more complicated than that.” he said quietly, not even looking at Alec anymore. 

Alec didn’t waver his gaze on him; his gaze became more gentle. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Theo meets his eyes and shakes his head.  “No. Not... right now,” he said. “Let’s just change the subject. I don’t want to talk about him or anything related to him.” he muttered and took a sip of his drink.

Alec nodded. They fell silent; the silence enveloped them. He tries to think of stuff to distract Theo. 

“Oh,” Alec says when he remembers something. “This place is actually where I first had my Tinder date.”

That seemed to get Theo out of his distress. Theo looked at him as if he had said such an astonishing thing. He started cackling; it sounded genuine. Alec raised an eyebrow, perplexed.

“What?”

“You used Tinder?” Theo questions while laughing. Alec shushes him for being too loud. It’s not that he doesn’t want him to laugh; he enjoys hearing him laugh, but Theo’s beginning to gather some attention on them. Theo apologizes quietly, his shoulders shrugging from suppressed laughter. 

“I didn’t want to. Daisy made me. She helped me set up my profile and everything.” Alec explains once Theo’s calmer. 

“Really?” Theo asks, surprised.

“Aye. Why is that surprising?” 

Theo shrugged. “Well, when my ma died, we didn’t let our dad date anyone else. It’s just surprising that Daisy agreed to that. What made her do so?” he asks curiously.

“I think that's different…” Alec said. “And she thought that I was lonely.” 

Alec really didn’t want to use that app at all, but Daisy insisted that he should use it since it’s easy to use with all the swiping (although, Alec thinks she probably got tired of having to literally ask him to go out to find a friend or someone he’d fancy). Daisy said that he’s always moping by himself every night… which is what he always does these days. When did he ever not mope? He can still remember that conversation they had months ago.

‘You need to have more friends, Dad—or a date. You’re always staying at home, alone and miserable.’ ‘Miserable? And I have a friend…. Miller.’ ‘One friend. And I don’t know any words less harsh than that, Dad. That’s what I can think of when I think about you. So, I really think you should get Tinder!’ 

His own daughter thinks he’s miserable just because he doesn’t have any friends.

Give it up, Hardy. She’s right.

Theo grins, chuckling. “Oh, yeah. She’s right on the money for that.”

“Oi.” Alec glares. He tries not to smile as Theo begins to choke back another laugh. “You’re talkin’ as if you’re not lonely?”

“I chose that, though,” Theo retorted, raising a finger. “And I definitely haven’t used Tinder or Bumble or even Grindr.” 

“For someone who didn’t use any of those, you sure do know a lot. ” 

Theo huffed and rolled his eyes. “Shut up. I’m telling the truth. I know those because my friend Mitchell uses those apps a lot—but mostly Grindr. I like dating people naturally.”

“How ‘naturally’?” Alec raises his eyebrows in curiosity.

“Like meeting people in places, pubs—whatever. Or getting to know them naturally, being friends first,” Theo explained with a flick of his wrist. “You don’t date like that?”

“I date like that. I told you, it’s my daughter who set me up in that bloody app. Not me,” Alec takes a pause. “It’s harder to do that nowadays, though. People these days… they just go straight to sleeping with each other, and then after that, nothing. I don’t get it.” He wrinkles his nose up in distaste; he’s always hated the idea of one-night stands. 

How can you not get attached to someone having literally let them consume your every being in the most passionate way possible? That’s what Alec always thought of. 

“Right?” Theo agreed. “That’s why I don’t do one-night stands. I hate it. If I’m gonna date someone, it’ll be someone who I already know.” 

“Won’t that compromise your relationship with them, though?” Alec questions. Theo nodded without any second thoughts.

“Yeah. That’s why it’s harder to do that. Because you don’t know where you’ll stand—if they like you or only like you as a friend. And it’s rather dreary to know that they never really see you the same way as you did,” he replied with a light smile. “I’d always choose that over having one-night stands and not having any commitment to anyone, though.” 

Alec hums thoughtfully. He takes a sip of his drink. “Are you thinking of dating these days?” 

Theo gives him a playful look for that sudden question. “Why? You wanna take me out?” 

Alec’s face flushes, feeling the warmth creeping up from his neck to his cheeks. 

“Oh, shut up, Villanueva. Don’t be so full of yourself. I’m just curious.” he snarled, defensive. Now, Theo didn’t suppress his laugh. He starts guffawing, throwing his head back.

“What? Don’t be so defensive!”

“I’m just askin’ and you’re flirtin' with me again.” Alec grumbles. Theo gave an indignant look.

“Don’t act as if you’ve never flirted back with me, Hardy.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s all in good nature. I don’t mind.”

“Sure,” Alec said skeptically. “So?” he asks again, pertaining to his question earlier.

Theo ponders. “These days? I honestly have no idea. But I do miss having someone,” he said earnestly. “How about you?” 

“Aye—maybe—I don’t know.” Alec shrugged. “I guess it’s a tough question. It really depends. You’d just know when it’s right there in front of you.”

Theo pursed his lips. “You’d just feel it in your jellies?” he suggests and Alec’s face falls. 

“Bloody hell, do not ever utter those words again.”

Theo smiles widely. Alec looks so utterly disgusted with him; it was an endearing sight.

“Why? You always say that whenever I say stuff like that!”

“You’re a grown man.”

“Deadpool said it—I mean, not really. The actor said it in a different movie… but you get it.” Theo argued back as if that’s such a solid rebuttal. Alec seemed more firm with his opinion. 

“And that is exactly why my point still stands.” 

“Hey. So what if I like stuff like Star Wars or Deadpool or Iron Man or Gandalf? Don’t tell me you don’t like any kind of stuff like that.” Theo snorts. When Alec remains serious and silent, he gasps. “Oh god. What kind of a person are you?”

Alec stared at him, stoic. “Wow. Thank you, Theo. Truly,” 

“I didn’t mean it like that.” Theo snickers, “Do you really not like anything?”

“No.”

“Oh, poor Hardy. Your life isn’t whimsical and bright enough.” Theo pouted mockingly, his bottom lip prodding. “Let me introduce you to my favorite things.” he said as he leaned forward to the table. Alec shakes his head.

“No. Thank you.”

“Come on,” Theo said as he tapped his arm while giggling. Although Alec tried not to , he couldn't help but smile. 

“Fine. I’m entertaining you just this once.” he says, even if he knows this will definitely not happen once. Theo's eyes gleamed, and his face brightened when he agreed. 

For once Alec didn't regret his choice; he listened to everything Theo had to say as they ate lunch.

Theo got back to his work, feeling a lot better after having lunch with Alec. He did all of his cases and talked with patients with ease. 

However, Andrei went to his desk and looked over while he was using his computer to fill out the forms for his patients. Theo didn't acknowledge his presence and pretended he wasn't there at all. 

“I believe you now. You definitely have a distraction,” Andrei said. Theo didn’t spare him any glance.

“I’m busy.”

“But seriously? Alec Hardy? I googled him after you two left and found out that he was the one who screwed up Sandbrook. Since when did you and that detective—“

“No,” Theo snaps, looking up at him. He felt that familiar anger flaring in his chest again. “He didn’t screw that up. His DS did. Do your research better and I won’t have this conversation with you, Wright. This conversation will never take place.” 

Andrei seemed unperturbed at that. “Do you like him?”

“We’re friends,” Theo firmly said. Andrei stared at him, doubtful. He holds onto his stethoscope around his neck, gently pulling it down. 

“Okay,” Andrei concedes. “But if you are actually using him as a distraction? Don’t do that. Have some decency, Theo.” 

Theo scoffs; he doesn’t believe what Andrei’s saying to him right now. “I’m not. What makes you think that?” 

Andrei shrugged, seeping air through his teeth. “We both know what you do when things get overwhelming. You push those thoughts away and then pick something—or someone—as a distraction. Not healthy, Theo.”

“You do that too,” Theo said accusingly. 

“Why do you think we got together in the first place?” Andrei asks. Theo heaves out a deep sigh.

“Walk away, Andrei. Please. I have to finish this,” he pleaded, tired. Andrei curled his lip and slowly nodded. He tapped his desk and walked away. Theo was left there, dumbfounded, his eyebrows drawn together. He knows that Andrei is messing around with his mind, but how come he’s actually believing that? 

No. He’s not that kind of person. He’s not using Alec as a distraction from his grief. Not at all.

Theo felt the sudden impulse to go for a run after work.

Chapter Text

The train station is full of bustling travelers, murmurs of conversations, the hiss of brakes as the trains pull in, and the rhythmic sound of announcements echoing over loudspeakers.

Alec and Daisy stood on the platform, waiting for her train to arrive. Since Alec brought Daisy to Broadchurch, he and Tess agreed that there’d be times when Daisy would be staying in her place. When they called Tess this Thursday, she seemed excited that Daisy will be coming over for her half-term vacation; she said that she’ll be showing something—but Alec knows that she’ll be showing Daisy someone . 

Tess is positively thriving in dating people, unlike Alec, who can’t even go on a proper date without making a fool out of himself. It’s funny ( tragic is the word I’d use), he thought. She kept on meeting different people and God knows what she does. Alec doesn’t really care anymore; he’s already moved on from his ex-wife and the ‘what could have beens.’ All that matters now is Daisy. 

“Daiz, have you forgotten anythin’? Toothbrush? Towel? Phone? Er…” Alec trails off, thinking. Daisy smiles; it’s been his third time asking since they left the house.

“Yes, Dad. I packed the stuff that I need and it’s all in my bag. Stop worrying,” she reassures, a bit exasperated. Alec felt sheepish.

“O…kay,” he replied eventually. “Good. Good… Be safe. Text me when I have to pick you up here next week. Same place, okay?”

“Okay, Dad.” 

‘Passengers can now proceed to platform twelve. Now boarding.’ The speakers echoed throughout the station. It was Daisy’s cue to leave. 

“That’s me,” Daisy said as she picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. She goes in for a hug and Alec welcomes her, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

“Be good to your mum,” he reminds her. “Call me or text me if you want to be picked up. I’ll be there for you.”

“I’m not a kid anymore, Dad.” Daisy laughed. Alec chuckled and pressed a kiss on top of her head before leaning away.

“But you’ll always be my daughter,” he says softly, earning an indignant look from Daisy. He grins lightly. “Sorry for being sappy. Go on. Get on your train.”

Daisy presses a quick kiss on his cheek. “Bye, Dad!” she exclaims and hastily runs off to her train. 

Alec waits until the train is finally out of sight. He shoves his hands into his pockets and goes out of the train station; he still has to get back to work to finish a bunch of paperwork. 

For the rest of the day, Alec did nothing but go through and sign documents for the case that they had just finished. After he was done, he let out a sigh of relief and removed his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose. His eyes are blurring, exhausted from staring at nothing but words all day.

Alec left his office to go to their shared break room, craving some tea. He still hasn’t eaten anything ever since lunch—but he’s not really feeling hungry. He heats up the kettle and takes out two mugs from the cupboard. As he leans his back against the counter, Ellie also walks up into the breakroom; she looks worn out, her movements sluggish.

“You look like shit,” he comments bluntly, though his tone lacks the usual heat. Ellie scowled at him but she didn’t say anything, too tired to even argue. Alec takes note of that. He shouldn’t mess with her tonight. He might get smacked or something; he’s already learned his lesson after a few times of fucking around with an exhausted Ellie just for the fun of it.

“Any plans for this weekend?” Ellie asks at the same moment the kettle whistles. Alec shrugs and turns off the burner.

“You?” Alec pours the tea in the two mugs. He pushes the other mug to Ellie's side and sets the kettle down. Ellie quietly thanked him and carefully took a sip of her tea. 

“I have a date with my bed. I hired a babysitter for Fred while Tom’s with Dad. They’re going to have some bonding of sorts. I think they’re going fishing,” she replied with a smile.

“Wow. A holiday,” he said dryly while taking out some milk from the fridge. Ellie’s grin broadened because it’s true, even if it’s just for two days. It is a holiday for her. 

“You know I could go for a drink later or on Saturday night. We should go to the pub.” she suggests while watching Alec pour milk and stir his tea with a ladle. Ellie momentarily frowned at that. There are perfectly fine spoons in the cupboard and yet he’s using a ladle. She decides not to comment on it, already used to his unusual ways of making tea. 

Alec seeps air through his teeth and wrinkles his nose up before taking a sip of his drink. Ellie rolled her eyes.

“Oh, come on. We’ve never been to the pub! And don’t tell me you have plans for the weekend. Daisy’s away to her mum, and you’re alone in your house. For all I could know, you’d wallow and brood by yourself for a whole week.” 

“I find your lack of faith in my social life disturbing.” Alec drawls, mocking Darth Vader’s voice. Ellie takes a pause, staring as if what he said was so shocking. 

“Has Daisy been watching those movies?” 

“No. She’s been more into romcoms these days.” he stated, wrinkling his nose. He’s watched too many romcoms and he’s honestly fed up with them—he doesn’t say anything to Daisy, though.

Ellie scrutinizes him, her eyes narrowed. Alec tenses.

“What?”

“Nothing…” she trails off as she continues to stare at him doubtfully. “So Saturday?”

Alec waves a dismissive hand. “No. I can’t for Saturday night. Take Beth with you instead.” 

Well, that certainly heightened Ellie’s suspicions. A smile slowly creeping up on her lips.

"You can’t for Saturday night… Is it because you have plans? ” Ellie asks, teasing. Alec shakes his head and purses his lips; he always does that whenever he’s about to lie. Ellie has noticed that after years of being friends with him. Either that or he tugs on his earlobe.

“No plans, Miller.” Alec said firmly and gently grasped his earlobe. Hah! Gotcha. Ellie thought while grinning. He throws her a grimace. “Go home. Rest up. You deserve it.” He pats her shoulder and strides off back to his office. 

“I think you have plans with someone special!” Ellie calls after him.

“Go home!” Alec shouts back as he places down his mug on his desk. Ellie smiles knowingly to herself and finishes off her tea. 

The bastard definitely has plans.

Saturday night had arrived quickly. Alec finished all of his work and some backlogs he had before he went straight to Theo’s house. Theo lived a couple of blocks from the hospital; he said that his department would often call him in during nights whenever they had a gruesome case or when they were simply short-staffed.  

The interior of Theo’s flat felt lived-in and loved. Paintings and drawings lined the wall—most of which are Theo’s work. There are also a few bookshelves stocked with books, ranging from fiction to research that Theo’s studied since he was only a resident. Palettes with dried paints and brushes lay on a table with an unfinished sketch of a portrait. In a glass display case, there stood a collection of family photographs. 

There’s a particular one that caught Alec’s eye. Three children are gathered around a woman at a piano, her hands on the keys, her face turned just enough to show the curve of a smile. She looked like Theo, from her bone structure to her eyes. 

Alec sat on a couch, his back against the armrest, a wine glass in his hand (with some apple juice Theo had in his fridge), while Theo sat opposite Alec, his legs crossed under him while drinking wine and eating a pork dish as though it were a finger food—which Theo argued that it is finger food and that he’d eat it with his brother on some occasions.

“You sure you don’t want some?” Theo asks, offering him some of the pork. Alec waves his hand, lips curled up. 

“I’m good,” he replied. “I thought you only ever slept during the weekends? Why’d you invite me over?” 

“I just wanted to hang out with you,” Theo said. “Plus, it’s pathetic if I only drink by myself. My friends all have their plans for the weekend, while I don’t because I don’t have a social life.”

“And I thought you were better than me in that,” Alec dryly said, smirking. Theo rolled his eyes. He continues. “So you’re using me as a backup?”

“No,” Theo huffed. “I’m not using you as my ‘backup.’ You’re my friend; therefore, I will drag you down with my wallowing.” He beamed and finished off his wine. He pours himself another glass. Theo’s already had half of a bottle and his cheeks are flushed, though he’s still in his right mind.

“How thoughtful,” Alec sarcastically said, which made Theo chuckle. “Why are you wallowing anyway? Is Wright still pissing you off?”

Theo’s face fell when Alec mentioned Andrei. He scowls at him. Alec almost laughed loudly at the look on his face.

“Don’t mention him, Alec. Come on. We’re having fun here,” Theo grumbled, becoming briefly distant. “And yes. He still is. Thank you for asking.”

“I’m not having fun.” Alec shakes his head. “Can you see me having fun?”

“Yes. You are having fun. Look at your face.” Theo motions towards Alec, who has an indifferent look. He smiles. “See? You’re having a blast! You don’t like going out to busy pubs anyway. This is your idea of fun. Peace and quiet.”

Alec sighs softly. Theo’s right. He does like this. Theo’s smile widens when Alec doesn’t argue back, taking that small victory.

“Okay then,” Theo adjusts in his seat to be more comfortable. “Worst birthday ever. Go.” 

“What a terrific question,” Alec remarked. “Why would you pick that as a topic?” he asks indignantly. 

Theo stared, deadpan. “If I ask you, ‘What’s your favorite song?’, you’d answer me with ‘nothing.’ As usual. You gotta give me something here, man.”

“You’re askin’ bad questions.”

“I think it’s called getting to know more of your friend,” Theo retorted and rolled his eyes. He pats his leg. “Come on. Worst birthday.”

“Pass.” 

Theo’s lips curled up. “Tangina mo. Hirap mo talagang kausap.” You son of a bitch. You're really so hard to talk to.

“I think that’s true.” Alec smirks when he sees the faint smile on Theo’s lips. “Okay. You go first.” 

“Fine,” Theo scoffs. “When I was seventeen, my parents didn’t do anything for my birthday—no cake, no pancit, no… nothing. They always make me something for my birthday, you know. That’s why I was hurt. But I understood that they couldn’t get me anything since we didn’t have any money at the time. I did have money though but just enough for a small cake and I wanted to celebrate with my friends. But… they all suddenly had their own plans and I was left alone. I went home and cried in my bedroom.” He takes a deep breath and sighs. “Although, the next week, my parents and my siblings all chipped in to buy me a cake bigger than what I bought because they felt bad for me. So I guess… it kind of negates that birthday.”

“That’s nice.” Alec smiled. “That’s not even a bad one.”

“Well, it wasn’t nice on the day of my birthday. My friends literally ditched me!” Theo tries to argue. He continues. “I really don’t remember any other birthdays other than that one. I pushed away most of my memories of my birthdays after my ma died.” He gave a thin smile. “Now, I’m done. How about you?”

“I think you won.” Alec takes a sip of his drink. The deflection didn’t go past over Theo’s head.

“I shared. It’s now your turn to share too,” he presses on, nudging Alec’s leg with his. Alec frowns at him and presses his lips together, licking off the excess wine on his lips. He didn’t even see the look on Theo’s face when he did that; he’s too busy forming his thoughts. He stares at a painting of the cliffs.

Alec normally doesn’t share anything about his childhood with anyone else—he did that with Tess because, well… they were together and got married. He trusted her (but we all know what Tess did with that) so he closed up like a clam and became more cynical.

Then came Ellie. He wasn’t that fond of her at first, but after all they’ve been through, he started to trust her. He started to open up more. He shared snippets of his childhood and life with her. He wouldn’t say it outloud but Ellie is one of the closest, truest friends that he ever had in his life.

And then there was Theo.

Even though they had only been friends for a few months, there was something about him that made him feel totally at ease. Perhaps it’s because the man knows how to build proper relationships given his job, or that he has a nice face—a trusting face, that’s what he meant. Also, he knows that Theo’s genuine. That he wouldn’t judge him at all.

“I don’t really celebrate my birthdays that much.” Alec said quietly. Theo raises an eyebrow.

“Even now?” 

“Nah. I don’t really see the point of celebrating them.” Alec takes a deep breath in. “But when I was a kid, my mum would buy me a cake and we’d celebrate it while my dad… was off to pubs or God knows where.” He snorts like it’s a joke—which it is for him. Alec starts tapping his wine glass with a detached look. “Though, during my eleventh birthday, he came home really drunk while we were in the middle of eating. He asked what we were doin’ and my mum said that we were celebrating my birthday and then my dad said, ‘Why would you celebrate that? It’s not even important.’ After that they started arguin' really badly. He… hit my mum and I tried to protect her but I obviously got hit too. I had to cover my face with concealer to cover up the bruises so my teachers wouldn’t ask me about them.”

Alec looks at Theo again and he can see the sympathy on his face. And guilt, for asking the question.

“I’m really sorry that you had to go through that,” Theo said sincerely. He hesitates at first, but he slowly reaches over to pat Alec on his shoulder, squeezing gently. Alec immediately relaxed at his touch. 

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault,” Alec replied and patted Theo’s hand on his shoulder. He lets his hand linger on Theo’s for a moment before Theo decides to retrieve his hand. A small part of Alec wanted to protest when he did so. 

He liked his touch. Yearning for it, even.

God, how touch-starved is he?

“Your mum sounds nice,” Theo says, breaking him out of his reverie.

“She was.” Alec smiled. “It was nice having her by my side in that shithole. She would always tell me that everything is goin’ to be fine eventually. That God is with us and that he has a reason why that happened—which is the thing that I don’t get! Why make us suffer if He's so benevolent? So kind?" 

Theo chuckled at his rant. “Was she religious?”

“Extremely. She used to pray every night, go to church every Sunday, and tag me along with each one of them. I practiced till I was in university and I haven’t been in contact with the big guy ever since."

Theo nodded thoughtfully, smacking his lips. “I now know why you’re a little shit.” 

“Oi.” Alec glares lightly. Theo laughs, his grin widening. 

“My ma was really religious too. Catholic. She would make me and my siblings pray the rosary with her every 6pm, sharp. I would always try and say some excuse, but she would force us to still do it.”

“Oh. That kind of religious person?” Alec asks and Theo nods. He grimaces. “I hate those people.”

“Me too,” Theo agreed. “My dad was kind of like that, but not that intense like my mom’s. I really hated her for forcing me and I also felt guilty whenever the clock struck six when I still wasn’t praying. My heart would literally pound in my chest!” he exclaimed with a grimace. 

“Hated her?”

Theo clicks his tongue. “Well, not hate hate. You know when you tell your kid that they should be in their room after they’ve done something wrong and they say, ‘I hate you! I hate everyone in this house!’?”

“Daisy did that when she was five.”

“So you know what I mean?” Theo asks and Alec nods. “So there you go.” he says with a wave of his hand.

Theo’s quiet for a moment, his expression turning pensive. “You know, despite that—despite their quirks and the controlling and stuff—they tried to be good parents to us. Especially my dad when ma died. He tried really hard to raise us all.”

“I still don’t think that justifies some of the stuff they did, though,” Alec retorted and took a swig of his drink. “You’re too forgiving.”

“I know,” Theo agreed exasperatedly. “But… they still did love us, in a way that they knew how.”

Alec gave a gentle smile, but a tiny part of him secretly felt envious that Theo had loving parents. He’s thankful for his mum, but how does it feel to have both parents looking after you? He doesn’t say that to Theo. He’s already bummed him out with his birthday story. He finishes off his wine and changes the topic. He nods towards the paintings on the wall. 

“You know, those are really good. You have the talent for it,” Alec compliments, studying every frame. He didn’t even see how the flush on Theo’s cheeks brightened up. “You think you could paint me?” he asks jokingly.

“'Paint me like one of your French girls’?” Theo raises an eyebrow, smirking. Alec simply shot him a cold stare. His smirk drops. “What? You don’t know ‘Titanic’?”

“Of course I know ‘Titanic,’ Theo.” Alec rolled his eyes. “But sure. Paint me like Rose,” he states dryly and finishes off his apple juice.

“So you’d strip naked and pose on the couch and be my muse?” Theo asks that Alec choke on his drink, coughing violently. Theo chortles but he pats his back, his hand rubbing soothingly.

“What? No,” Alec rasps out. “Was she naked in the film?” he questions, baffled.

Theo laughs harder. “Yes! I thought you said you watched it?”

“I vaguely remember it. I thought she had clothes on?”

“No!” Theo cackles, amused. “What ‘Titanic’ have you watched, exactly?”

“Oh, shut up, Theo. It’s been a while since I last watched that bloody movie—and I won’t watch it again just for the ending to be that.” Alec grumbles and crosses his arms together against his chest. Theo giggles. 

“I haven’t been drawing or doing any paintings these past few months, actually. I can’t even finish one,” Theo said once he was more composed. “Haven’t had the motivation to do so. But once I get it back, I’d draw you. Maybe.”

Alec wasn’t going to believe him, but there’s a glint in Theo’s eyes that he’s being serious. That made him feel dazed—to be drawn someday. For someone to completely capture his likeness on a piece of paper. He doesn’t show that to Theo and acts as though he’s fine.

Time passed by as Alec and Theo continued their conversation. Alec’s having a good time while listening to Theo ramble on with whatever came into his mind, unabashedly staring at him. Theo's voice has gotten softer and quieter as the wine finally did its thing in him. It’s lulling; Alec really likes listening to his voice.

It was late when Alec realized that it was already after midnight. 

“Oh. I think I better get back home,” Alec says as he gets up from the couch. Theo looks up with a sleepy look on his face; there’s a hint of disappointment in his expression.

“Yeah… Why don’t you stay?” he offered. Alec paused and slowly looked at Theo like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Stay?”

“Yup. Stay here. It’s late and your house is kind of far away from here. It’s really dark out too. I think it’s safer if you stay.” Theo smiles warmly. “I wouldn’t want you to be in danger or something, you know.”

Alec gapes at him, his mouth opening and closing. He’s honestly caught off guard, but he also knows that Theo’s right. He puffs out some breath.

“Fine,” Alec relents.

“Great! You can take the bed. I’ll take this one,” Theo said, patting the couch. Alec shakes his head, scowling.

“What? No. No. You take the bed, Theo. It’s your house.”

Theo mirrors his expression and Alec knows this is the start of an ‘argument.’

“You’re my guest, Alec. I’m bound to give you my bed and it’s fine to me. Plus this couch is really comfortable.” Theo shoots back, letting his head fall back onto the headrest and his arm drape over one of the couch's arms to emphasize his point. 

Alec scoffs. “I know. That’s why I’m fine with sleepin’ here.” 

“No. Come on. Sleep in my bedroom. I’ll be fine!” 

Alec rolls his eyes. “I already accepted your invitation that I’d stay here but I couldn’t accept your bed.” 

“I don’t sleep that much anyway.”

“Neither do I!” Alec exclaimed. Theo stares at him and sighs deeply.

“Okay. How about we both sleep on the bed? We’ll get up in the middle of the night anyway! Sounds good?” Theo suggests and Alec gives him a look.

“Both? Sleeping together?”

“Oh, for crying out loud. Yes. Don’t make it weird,“ Theo muttered and got up. “If you want to change into pajamas, I have some spare in my closet,” he says and goes off into his bedroom while Alec stares at his back, frozen in his spot.

That’s how Alec found himself lying on the bed beside Theo (still in his shirt and trousers). There’s a small pillow between them, serving as their partition. Both of them are on their backs, staring up at the ceiling. 

This feels different from when he slept on the same bed with Ellie. He didn’t really care during that time. Alec feels a bit tense, his breath catching in his throat every now and then. Theo said to not make things weird, but he feels that nonetheless. 

“Fair warning, I think I will kick in my sleep,” Theo says, breaking the silence between them. Alec groans.

“Great,” 

"At least I already told you.”

“You couldn’t tell me that earlier?” 

“No take-backsies. You’re here now,” Theo taunts while chuckling. Alec tried to keep up an annoyed facade, but a smile seeped through.

“Go to sleep,” he mumbles. He glances at Theo and their eyes meet—Theo’s already been looking at him. 

“Good night, Alec.” he murmurs sleepily and yawns. Alec tries to act calm.

“G’ night,” he replied and then he rolled onto his side, facing away from Theo, who did the same thing. Alec stared at the wall for a couple of minutes (with thoughts that screamed, ‘I’m in the same bed as him… Act fine! Don’t move too much!) before he closed his eyes and finally let himself succumb to sleep.

For once, Alec slept like a log. He didn’t toss and turn like he usually did, he didn’t get up in the middle of the night, and most importantly, he didn’t have any dreams or nightmares. He simply slept in peace. He hasn’t had a sleep like that in ages. He had missed that feeling. 

Alec is stirred from his sleep by the faint scent of vanilla that wafts into his nostrils; it is not sweet, but rather woody and creamy, with a faint hint of smoke and soft incense. His eyebrows knitted together as he moved, snuggling further into a pillow. 

Or so he thought.

The pillow under his head moves as well and he becomes perplexed when he feels like it’s breathing. Alec slowly fluttered his eyes open, blinking away the blurriness. He stills when he realizes something. 

Oh. God. Holy shit.

Alec’s face is nuzzled up to Theo’s neck with his head resting on the juncture between Theo’s neck and shoulder, his arm and leg thrown over his body; the pillow separating them has completely disappeared. Theo’s arms are wrapped around him protectively, holding him close to his chest. He looks relaxed and at peace in his sleep, completely unaware of the situation.

Yup, he should have seen this one coming. But, Jesus Christ.

He should lean away and get out of Theo’s hold before he wakes up, but Alec couldn’t find any strength to do so. He feels comfortable— safe in Theo’s arms. Warm. At home.

The sunlight hit Theo just right, casting his face in a warm, unforgiving glow. Alec could properly see the soft smile lines on his face, the gentle slope of his nose, the subtle shadows under his eyes, and his lips…

His stupid, beautiful lips. He looked absolutely gorgeous. 

At that moment, Theo was also beginning to wake up. He must have felt the intense staring Alec has been doing. He blinks away his sleepiness and their eyes meet.

Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Before Theo could say anything, Alec roughly shoved his face away and sat up. He could still feel his heart banging against his sternum. 

Theo groans, his jaw dropping. It might have been painful; Alec felt guilty.

“Hoy! What was that for?! It hurts!”

“Nothin’!” Alec replied; it came out like a squeak as he stood up from the bed. Theo throws a pillow at him. Alec’s eyes widened. 

“Sira ulo ka talaga. Ang ganda-ganda ng tulog ko tapos sinira mo lang? My god!” You're really crazy. I was having such a good sleep, and then you just ruined it? Theo complained without pause as he ran his hands over his face and sat on his bed. “Why’d you do that?”

“I said nothin’!” Alec exclaimed, still high-pitched. 

“It’s certainly not nothing!” Theo replied, upset. He takes a deep breath. “God—okay. Too early to fight. I have no idea why you would suddenly do that, but I’m letting it slide. Jesus.” he grumbles as he takes off the blanket off his body. He starts tidying his bed.

“I’m…I’m gonna go home.” Alec said hoarsely. Theo looked at him, perplexed.

“What? You’re not gonna stay for breakfast?” 

“Uh—no. No. Thanks for letting me stay, though. I’ll take off now.” Alec gave a smile but Theo looked at him weirdly. His smile is awkward and tense. He clears his throat. “I’ll see you later.”

Before Theo had a chance to object, Alec left his bedroom, hastily gathered his belongings in the living room, and left Theo's house. 

Alec quickly got back to his house. It feels empty and it’s a mess. There are dirty dishes in the sink, some unfolded clothes on the couch, and he hasn’t really swept the floor. He had completely forgotten about cleaning up. 

He was going to shrug it off, push the clothes aside, and flop down onto the couch, but he felt the need to do something. To distract himself from his thoughts, but they continued to prod at him while he cleaned. Who was he kidding? Alec couldn’t stop thinking about what happened earlier. His heart continues to pound in his chest.

It was unbearable.

The image of Theo’s face is seared into his mind, leaving something restless in his chest, like a thought he didn’t want to finish. It lingered like an ache.

And Alec hated that. Hated how it made his chest twist, how it stirred something warm and dangerous just beneath his ribs. He wanted to pretend he hadn’t seen, hadn’t felt anything at all. But the damage was done. 

Okay—no. No. He refuses to accept that. It’s nothing at all. Nothing! It was just something that happened in the moment. It was probably because he hadn’t cuddled up to someone in a long time. His senses were simply shocked by the warmth and touch of another human being. 

Yes. That’s just it. (Go on, Alec. Gaslight yourself all you want.)

Alec jumped and almost shrieked when he heard someone knocking on his door. Was it Theo? Twat. Why did you immediately think of him? He composes himself and leaves the dishes briefly to answer the door. 

Chloe was on the other side of the door, equally surprised as Alec.

“Chloe? What are you doin’ here?” Alec questions, suspicious. Chloe gapes at him and tries to look over his shoulder, acting normal.

“Uh—good morning, DI Hardy. Is Daisy ‘round?” she asks politely. Alec raises an eyebrow.

“No. She’s at her mum’s for the entire week,” he replied. Chloe was visibly depleted at that, her shoulders dropping. His eyebrows knitted together. “Daiz didn’t tell you?” 

“She didn’t. I thought that she’d be here,” Chloe says quietly. She tries to smile. “I’ll get going. Have a nice day, DI Hardy.”

“Yeah. You too,” Alec said and watched Chloe walk away. Well, that’s weird. Daisy didn’t tell Chloe that she’s away for an entire week? He thought that those two told each other everything? Maybe they’ve gotten into a fight or something.

As Alec tries to form his thoughts, his phone buzzes on the coffee table. He picks it up. 

‘You forgot your tie, asshat.’ Theo sent him a text message that included a picture of him frowning while holding his blue-striped tie. ‘I’ll be keeping this for ruining my sleep earlier.’ 

Alec found himself smiling down at his phone. He groaned loudly when he caught himself. 

He is so screwed.

Chapter Text

Alec just went through the most taunting, excruciating week ever. 

Convincing himself that all of his thoughts about Theo were nothing is Not. Working. At. All. He would often catch himself drifting off to la-la land—dreamland—whatever in the middle of the day, recalling that particular morning. He could still feel it. Theo’s arms around him, their noses barely brushing, his warmth. He felt everything, and it seared into him. It burned. Not in an unpleasant manner. It was quite delightful, the sensation of electric tingles on his skin.

Alec’s extremely touch-starved. Frighteningly so. You can't tell by looking at him, but he is. He would lean into any kind of touch, relaxing under the hold of someone else. And this. This thing that happened with Theo, it intensified it. It made him crave. Want. He’s only human after all, and humans are fundamentally bound to crave companionship, touch, and intimacy. 

However, he knows that it would only happen once. Theo wouldn’t allow him again, would he? It only happened because they both moved in their sleep, and it would be strange for Alec to request for it to happen a second time.

Besides, Alec is not even attracted to Theo in that way. Theo’s his friend, and that’s it. There's no need to act odd or anything. Theo’s not addressing it, and so he wouldn’t.

Well, that is until Wednesday night. 

Alec finished his work for the day. As he turned to leave for home, he noticed Theo leaning against the stair railings. He seems as though he has been waiting the whole time. He’s still in his scrubs, and he’s wearing a black jacket. 

“Theo!” 

Theo perked up when Alec called him. A big grin made its way onto Theo’s face, and he walked up to Alec, hopping lightly on his feet. Alec rolled his eyes at his antics.

“Aren’t you a spur of sunshine?” he stated brusquely. 

“I am. Bringing hope and smiles to people that came before me,” Theo replied dramatically. Alec shakes his head; there’s a tinge of fondness on his face. It’s true. Theo does do that, and Alec’s one of them.

“What are you doin’ here?” Alec asks instead. 

“I got off from work early, and I was around the area.” 

“You look like you’ve been waiting for me.” Alec raises an eyebrow, eyeing him askance. 

“Oh, no. No. No,” Theo retorted, “just passing by. Thought you might want to get some coffee with me.”

Alec’s eyebrows furrowed together, pointing in the opposite direction. “Your house is that way—” 

“Come on. Do you want free food or not?” Theo asks exasperatedly, even throwing his head back at Alec’s questioning. 

“I’m not really hungry.” 

“Oh my god,” Theo huffed, aggravated. Alec grins flippantly. He likes messing around with Theo sometimes. He’s easy to rile up. (It’s only fun when he does it to other people; don’t do it to him, though).

“Okay. Okay. Fine. Let’s go before your head explodes, sunshine,” Alec relents, teasing. He walks away from Theo.

Theo wavered, dazed upon hearing what Alec called him. He’s never been called like that before. He grins widely, seemingly elated with the new nickname he acquired from Alec.

“Wait up!” Theo called out, following suit.

The delicious aroma of baked goods and coffee greeted them as soon as they stepped foot into the cafe. It made Alec’s stomach grumble; he hasn’t eaten anything in the past hour. The speaker is playing a gentle tune, and the lights are warm. It’s quite nice, Alec thought.

They sat across from one another on a small circular table. Theo bought himself a chocolate cake and cappuccino, while Alec had a cup of tea and scone. 

“Are you not planning on sleeping at all?” Alec nurses his cup of tea—which is not up to his taste; he enjoys a strong tea. This tea is too gentle for his taste buds but he was in a good mood to berate the employee who had messed up his order, so he kept his mouth shut. Theo eats a piece of his cake before responding.  

“It’s not like I’m going to be able to sleep anyway,” he shrugs. “I haven’t had any good sleep.”

Alec tried not to show his disappointment. So it was just him that enjoyed that time? He shouldn’t have—

“Oh. Except when we slept together,” Theo said breezily. Alec almost choked on his tea. Instead, he clears his throat and carefully places down his mug on the table.

“Must you put it that way?” Alec asks, hushed, although collected. Theo halts as he was about to reach for his coffee. 

“In what way?” he asks back, dumbfounded.

“‘Slept together,’” Alec simply repeated, there’s a subtle flush on his cheeks. Theo blinks.

“Well, that’s what happened. We slept together in the same bed,” he pointed out. They stared at each other for a moment. Upon realizing, Theo starts to feel flustered. “I didn’t—I didn’t mean it in that way. Nothing even happened! You’re the one who acted as if something happened,” 

“I didn’t,” Alec frowns at his accusation—even if it’s true. Theo shot him a wry look.

“Seriously? You literally went back to your place without staying for breakfast and you left your tie in my house because you were in such a haste.” 

Alec scoffs, feeling called out. He scratches the underside of his jaw. “I—Well, I just didn’t want to stay. I wasn’t feelin’ like stayin’.” he argues back weakly. “And I would like to get my tie back one of these days.”

Theo stared and Alec felt tense beneath his gaze as if he were a test subject. 

“I’ll bring it to you tomorrow.” Theo went back to enjoying his cake, letting Alec’s deflection slide. Alec suppressed a sigh of relief.

As they’ve gotten quiet, he begins observing every move Theo makes. Theo hums under his breath, clearly enjoying his cake, and licks his lips when he feels icing on it—but he completely misses it. It’s at the corner of his lips. Alec’s eyebrows furrowed at the action, his heart skipping a beat. 

Alec found himself marveling at the sight, his thoughts starting to drift off. Theo’s lips are plush and full; they look soft and inviting. Alec wonders what it would feel like if he touched it, if he felt it against his skin. If he reaches over to wipe that icing off with his thumb—

Oh, bloody hell. 

Alec clears his throat and looks away; he could feel how his neck and cheeks warmed up. It suddenly feels too hot here. What was he thinking? No. No. He wasn’t. He definitely wasn’t. 

Think of other things. Documents, piles of documents on his desk that he still has to finish. Criminals that are panicking while he’s interviewing them in the interrogation room—he likes it when they panic. The ocean, the never-ending sky, and the smiley people here in Broadchurch. Oh, he hates all of those. That’s good; he can feel himself calming down. The cliffs—Theo painted the cliffs. That night. Alec remembers when he asked Theo about all of his work and how he explained it with a soft smile on his lips—oh, his lips. His soft, soft lips that just asks to be—

For Christ’s sake. How in the hell did he get to that conclusion? 

“Oi, tomato, you alright? What are you thinking about?” Alec’s broken out of his trance when Theo spoke. He looks at him, and Theo’s chuckling at his state.

“Er—what? Nothin’. Nothin’ at all.” Alec croaks. His accent has gotten thicker, Theo noticed.

“Nothing? You’re as red as the blood in a blood bag, sweetheart.” Theo says in jest, smiling. 

Oh, that’s really not helping at all. Alec thought bitterly at his teasing.

“‘Am not. Mind your own business, Theo.” Alec snaps and looks away, huffing. Theo raises an eyebrow at his sudden attitude, but he doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he reaches for the tissue and wipes his mouth with it.

Thank fuck, finally. 

“So,” Theo starts while fiddling with the last piece of his cake with his fork. Alec looks at him again, more composed, and raises an eyebrow to prompt him to continue. “There’s this movie coming this Friday. I think it looks good, and I think I can grab two tickets for the two of us—”

Alec must have heard him wrong. Theo couldn’t possibly mean that.

“Huh?” 

Theo gave him a look as if he were so daft. “Movie tickets for the two of us.”

“For the two of us?”

“Yes. This Friday. Don’t make me repeat myself. Anyway, it’s Robert Pattinson—the main actor in the movie. Mitch, my friend, already saw it, and he said that it’s really good, and I want to see it out of curiosity. He hasn’t stopped talking about it ever since he watched it…”

Alec thinks that his heart stopped. He stopped listening and he’s solely focused on one thing. Theo is making plans for them to see a movie. Only the two of them—! Okay, thinking about it, that is what they’ve been doing the entire time. Making plans, going to cafes, the beach, or some other place that Theo pulls him to. He comes over to his place and Theo does the same thing. He couldn’t find himself refusing any of it. 

(Where is the Hardy that says ‘No’ to everything? Why can’t he say no to this man?)

They have been talking for a while and on some occasions, even flirting with one another. Theo would pop into his mind whenever he saw something that he thought would amuse him. He would wish that Theo should have been at his side so that he could say something brilliant or dry and Theo would tease him for it. 

Now, he’s been vehemently thinking about holding Theo like how he held him that night and those… thoughts about his luscious lips. 

Oh. 

Oh.

The realization knocked him down, as if he were in the sea and the waves crashed into his legs. He wants Theo. He wants him. Like water that will satisfy him from being parched. 

Everything suddenly made sense to Alec.

“...and I’ve read the reviews for it. I think it’s something that can be looked forward to! So are you free? If not, we can see it on Saturday—oh wait. You’re gonna pick Daisy up from the train station… Maybe Sunday will do? Don’t you think—” Theo stops talking when he finally catches the way Alec is looking at him. His lips are parted as if he’s in awe, his pupils dilated. “Alec? Do I have something on my face?”

Alec coughs lightly and shakes his head. “Oh. Uh—yeah. Sunday will do.”

“Are you okay?” Theo asks, a bit concerned. “You look like you’ve been drifting off.”

“Aye. I’m fine. Just… thinkin’,” Alec muttered and took a sip of his tea, hiding the way his lips were shaking.

“Okay…” Theo said skeptically, still staring at him with worry, but he eventually went on rambling about a new topic. Alec listened to him the entire evening with a light smile playing on his lips. 

On Saturday, Alec and Daisy went to a Chinese restaurant after he picked her up. Since it’s lunchtime, the place is packed. Despite the loud conversations and utensils scraping against the kitchenware, most people are enjoying their meals. They sat at a corner where it’s quieter and less crowded, which suited Alec’s liking.

“How was your stay with your mum?” Alec asks in the middle of their meal. Daisy looks up from eating her noodles, cheeks popping. He snickered. She swallows first before answering.

“Actually, it was nice. She introduced me to her new boyfriend, but we mostly went out on our own, did some girl stuff, and checked options for my university,” Daisy tells him, smiling. 

“Really? That’s good, but surprising,” Alec remarked, amused. “And have you picked a university yet?” 

“Not yet. It’s tough to pick one,” Daisy replied and sighed deeply. “I’ll eventually figure it out. I have a couple of months left, anyway.”

“Mhm. Have you considered Chloe’s university? Don’t you two have the same course?” Daisy becomes quiet at that question, pursing her lips while fiddling with her noodles. Alec eyes her, dubious. And then, he suddenly remembers something.

“Speaking of Chloe, she came ‘round when you went away and looked for you. Has somethin’ happen?” Alec asks, studying the way Daisy’s expression became more guarded.

“Just a misunderstanding.” Daisy waves a dismissive hand. “I’ll speak to her later. Don’t worry about it, Dad.” She smiled, a bit strained. 

“Okay, darlin’.” Alec’s voice softened. “If it’s troublin’ you, you can talk to me ‘bout it.” 

Daisy stares at him and her smile becomes more earnest. “I know, Dad, but it’s really fine.” she reassured. After studying her, Alec decides not to push and nods. 

“How about you, Dad? How was your week? You look…” Daisy trails off, “okay? No—happy. You look happy,” she comments, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m always happy, Daiz. I’m a happy-go-lucky kind of guy,” Alec said dryly. He smiles when Daisy only shoots him a displeased look. “My week was fine. And I’m happy because you’re finally home.” he says, more seriously. 

“Except for that,” Daisy clicked her tongue, smiling. “Like something happened when I was gone. Did something happen when I was gone?” 

“No,” Alec replied, indifferent. “Nothin’ happened—how can you even say that?”

“Well, you look different.”

“Yes, darlin’. I changed in a week just like that.” Alec snapped his fingers, rolling his eyes. Daisy laughs.

“I can’t explain it, but there’s definitely something different about you, Dad.” she says with such certainty. With a laugh, Alec shook his head and decided to keep quiet.

While continuing their meal, Alec’s mind drifts off to tomorrow. Should he wear his best suit? Wear a different shade of suit to throw Theo off his feet? Theo would absolutely comment on his clothes and they’ll have a bit of banter over that. Maybe he should. Should he also trim his beard? It’s gotten longer over the past few weeks. He just got his haircut—

Now he’s thinking about grooming himself for Theo? Wow. That man really had impacted him. He just wanted to…well, impress him. To look good for him. 

Alec chews his fried rice slowly, looking at Daisy, who’s engaged with something on her phone. Right. He hasn’t told Daisy about his plans for tomorrow. He contemplates before getting her attention.

“By the way, I have plans for tomorrow.”

Daisy looked up from her phone, surprised. “You do? Have you downloaded ‘Tinder’ again?” 

“Oh, God, no.” Alec wrinkled his nose in distaste. Daisy chuckled. He clears his throat as he continues. “No. I’m goin’ out with Theo tomorrow—you know Theo, right? The doctor that I had last time. Anyway, we’re gonna see this new movie…I have no idea what it's called but that man from the vampire movie that you liked when you were a kid is in it.”

Daisy looks at him as though she had a short circuit in her brain. Then an impish smile appears on her lips.

“With Dr. Villanueva? You’re gonna see ‘Mickey 17’ with him? You sure have been spending a lot of time with him.” she stated, shooting him a knowing look. 

Alec suddenly felt stiff. 

“Anyway,” Alec deflects. Daisy giggles. “He’s the one who asked me to see…” He trailed off, already forgetting the name. 

“‘Mickey 17.’”

“Like the mouse?” 

“Yes, Dad. Like the mouse. But it’s not about Mickey Mouse, okay?” Daisy clarified, laughing. 

“Jeez. Thank you for the reminder, Daisy.” Alec scoffs, feigning offense. Daisy simply continued laughing.

“But you really agreed to this? Willingly?” Her eyes narrow in suspicion and interest. Alec meets her gaze with the same intensity.

“I did. Why?” Alec frowns at the face she’s making; it’s like she discovers something that she only knows. “What’s the purpose of your face?” 

Daisy shakes her head, grinning. “Nothing,” she says. “Have fun tomorrow.”

Alec’s eyebrows knitted together while staring at Daisy, who’s unfazed. He sighs as he continues his meal.

Alec has been standing in front of his mirror for a while now. Despite his best efforts, he can't decide between a dotted blue tie and a striped blue tie. It’s not matching his suit at all (which is a dark blue suit, thanks for asking). 

Annoyed, he chucks off the two with a grumble onto the pile of ties on his bed, resorting to not wearing any tie at all. That’s the right choice, right? Alec asks himself while fiddling with the collar of his shirt. He’d look too formal; they’re only going to the cinemas for Christ’s sake. 

Is going to the cinemas a semi-formal event or a casual one? Casual, right? Alec vaguely remembers the last time he went out to see a movie. It had been with Tess before they were married. What did he even wear that time? A t-shirt and jeans? Perhaps he’d always worn suits? Should he change? But that’d make him late for the movie.

Ah, fuck it. Alec slipped on his suit jacket, grabbed his wallet and keys, and went out of his bedroom. 

Chloe and Daisy had already started their movie marathon. It bewildered Alec on how fast these two had reconciled. It was like nothing had happened. They’re both snuggled up at each side of the couch, leaning against an armrest, and there’s a blanket over their legs. For their convenience, the coffee table—with their snacks and drinks—has been positioned closer to the couch. 

“Go easy on the Coke tonight, Daiz.” Alec reminded her while getting his shoes from the shoe rack. Daisy scoffs and waves a dismissive hand.

“Yes, Dad. I will.” She looks over to him with a cheeky smile. “Are you excited about your movie night with Theo?”

Alec narrowed his eyes at her. “No. I’m not. Why would I be excited? There’s nothin’ to be excited about. Just two friends seeing a movie. If anythin’, I’m annoyed that I got dragged along to watch this movie.” 

Daisy and Chloe exchanged a look with each other when Alec continuously blabbered on, their shoulders shrugging from suppressed giggles.

“You could have said no. You always say no.” Daisy raises an eyebrow and Alec feels like he’s being cornered here. He stared, befuddled. 

“I don’t always say no. And I’m doin' him a favor.” 

“What kind of favor? You don’t even go to the pub with Ellie when she’s asked you a few times now.”

“That’s different.”

“How is it different?”

Alec takes a deep breath, his mouth agape. God, Daisy is as persistent as him with her questions. There’s no doubt she’s his daughter.

“I’m gonna be late.” He walks over to the front door to escape the interrogation Daisy is doing. 

“Right. Right. Sorry to keep you from your movie with Theo. Go on, then.” Daisy smiles, gesturing for him to take his leave. Alec sighed exasperatedly as he turned, going out of their house.

“Bye, Dad! Have fun with Theo!” “Bye, Mr. Hardy!” Daisy and Chloe said simultaneously. Daisy laughs to herself, knowing her dad must have grumbled about something on his way out.

“That’s quite satisfying. Seeing DI Hardy squirm from all the questions,” Chloe comments. Daisy snorted and nodded in agreement.

When Daisy was sure that her dad had already departed from their house, she went beside Chloe and snuggled up against her side. Chloe smiles, wrapping her arms around her.

"Are we really okay now?"

“Yeah. I was being silly last week. I know you’re not going to break up with me once you go to uni,” she muttered, putting her head on Chloe’s chest. 

“And you couldn’t realize that a week ago.”

Daisy looked up from her chest, pouting. “I said I was sorry!”

Chloe smiled softly and rolled her eyes playfully. She leaned down, pressing a peck on Daisy’s lips—her pout turning into a big grin.

“You ever gonna tell your dad about us?” Chloe asks as she brushes the fringe away from Daisy’s forehead. Daisy puffs her cheeks and rests her chin on Chloe's chest.

“I want to. But I feel nervous about telling him.” she admits quietly. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Daiz. I think he’s gonna react better than my dad did,” Chloe muses. Daisy chuckles. 

“Your dad caught us holding hands while we were on a date. We didn’t have any choice but to tell him and Beth.”

Chloe laughs. “Yeah. But your dad’s different. Look at him now; he’s going on a date with a man!” 

“I don’t think it’s a date, though? I do know that they’ve been talking for a while, but as far as I know, they’re mates.” Daisy replied thoughtfully. 

“Oh, it’s a date, Daisy. Or he thinks it’s a date.” Chloe noted; she sounds certain. “You acted the same way during our first date.”

“I did not?” Daisy said, puzzled. Chloe scoffs.

“You did.” The two of them stared at one another. Daisy pursed her lips, remembering how awkward and nervous she had been the whole time. She kept on stumbling over her words and she was clumsy. She doesn’t know how that happened, but it did—even though she and Chloe were already close before they dated.

Her head falls back onto Chloe’s chest in defeat, making Chloe laugh loudly.

The night breeze had been colder than Alec thought it’d be. It’s refreshing, though it still seeped through his skin and it makes him think about his grey scarf in his wardrobe. 

The mall only had a certain amount of people today so Alec had an easy time navigating through the big floors of the place and went to the cinemas. Theo’s already there, in line for popcorn and drinks. When he saw Alec, he waved and smiled so widely that Alec felt as if the sun literally beamed out of Theo. 

“Hi. Getting popcorn, eh?” Alec felt stupid for that question. Oh, it’s obvious, Hardy. Now you look like a bloody idiot. Thankfully, Theo didn’t tease him about it.

“Oh, I would have smuggled in chips in my clothes but that guy is already onto me,” Theo points at the guard by the Cinema 2’s door. “I’ve done it before with Mitch and Sam. We got kicked out. Which is crazy, by the way. It’s just snacks! They’re just being capitalists, ” he added with a dramatic flair, narrowing his eyes at the guard who’s clueless with Theo’s ‘wrath.’ 

What an idiot. Alec grins lightly. “Oh, what a crime. I’m shocked he didn’t turn you in at the police station.”

“How long would that crime get me in the shackles, DI Hardy?” 

“Oh, lifetime. Definitely. That’s such a big crime.” They both took a step when the line moved.

“Bigger than murder?”

“Well,” Alec seeps air through his teeth, “not that big, but it’s definitely on the higher part of the list.” 

Theo chuckles and it’s finally his turn to buy. Alec simply watched while Theo bought them a bucket of popcorn and two cups of soda with his arms crossed together. While doing so, he finally notices the outfit that Theo is wearing today. 

Theo’s wearing a black shirt, the sleeves casually rolled up to his forearms, revealing lean muscle and veins that catch the light. His brown trousers sit just right on his frame, sharp yet effortless. His hair is slicked back, though a few stubborn strands have slipped loose, falling over his forehead in a way that softens the look. A silver wristwatch glints on his wrist, subtle but unmistakably sleek, and two rings—one on his middle finger, the other on his forefinger. He obviously put a lot of thought into his outfit tonight and he absolutely looks gorgeous.

Alec’s heart did its thing again. He wanted to pull Theo by his collar and just—

“Here you go. It’s on me today. You don’t have to pay me.” Theo reaches out to give the cup, but Alec is just staring. With the same look he had on Wednesday night. Theo felt uneasy under his gaze. 

“Uh… I know I’m gorgeous, Hardy, but stop drooling all over the floor now,” Theo teased, smiling. Alec cheeks flushed for being caught like that. Keep it together, Hardy! 

“Oh—shut—get over yourself, Villanueva!” Alec sputters and snatches the cup from him, looking away. Theo looks at him with astonishment, blinking. He’s genuinely confused as to why Alec is acting like this; nonetheless, he doesn’t ask (knowing Alec would deflect).

“Come on. The movie’s starting in three minutes.” Theo turns and walks over to Cinema 6 while Alec stares at his back for a moment. He let out an exasperated groan, followed him quickly, and wished that whatever it was that he was feeling would stop.

Alec tried his very best to focus on the film, but the man beside him was distracting him. 

For some reason, he’s acutely aware of every movement Theo is making. Every shift, noise, scowl at the dumb character (Why does that look like the Hulk?), and smile at how sweet the main couple are with each other. He even saw how Theo’s cheeks gained color when the sex scene came up in between the dialogues. The light from the screen softened Theo’s face, smoothing out the sharp lines, making him look almost delicate. Alec wasn’t sure why that unsettled him. Maybe it was how easily he could’ve reached out. He wanted to. Would Theo also blush if Alec were to reach out and touch his cheek? His lips? 

Oh, there go his thoughts again. Alec feels annoyed with himself and a little at Theo.

“Fuck,” Alec grumbles under his breath before he could stop himself. Of course, that caught Theo’s attention. He tears his eyes from the screen and looks at him, making Alec’s heart leap as though he had been frightened by a ghost.

“What? You alright?”

No, you bloody bastard. You daft, stupid, gorgeous—

“Aye. I’m fine. Please, don’t let me interrupt your movie.” He motions towards the screen. Theo scrutinized him for a bit before he finally focused on the movie again. Alec sighs quietly, his hand gripping the armrest.

This is gonna be a long night.

By the time the movie finished, it was already a quarter to eleven. Most shops have already closed and people are more scattered throughout the streets. Alec and Theo decided to have a walk together before going home. Alec agreed because it might help with relaxing his mind from how distracted he’s been for the past two hours with Theo being in close range. Alec hunched back as he shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling cold. Why does it feel so cold tonight?

“You okay?” Theo asks when he notices.

“Aye. Just a bit chilly,” Alec heaves out. He briefly glances at Theo’s free hand. How about I hold your hand to give me some warmth—Oh, stop that, Hardy. Just stop.

“Is it cold? I don’t feel cold… But ah, it makes sense that you’d feel cold.” Theo remarks with a sly smile. Alec immediately sensed that Theo was about to tease him; his face fell. 

“Why?”

“It makes so, so much sense because I read in one of our books back in medical school that old people’s skin is thinner than young adults. And looking at you…” Theo peers over his face, squinting his eyes to ‘assess’ his skin. Alec holds his breath for a bit at how close Theo’s gotten. “Yeah. You’re old.” 

Alec heaves out a relieved sigh once Theo leans away and throws him a glare.

“You’re five years younger than me!” 

“Still younger by five years!” Theo retorted, chuckling. “But if you’re feeling so cold, maybe we should head back and go home.” he added, his tone having gotten softer than before. 

“Nah. I can take it. Just a little bit of cold that I can handle. I’ve had it worse.” Alec dismisses him with a wave of his hand. Theo raises an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, really? Did you climb over a mountain to get to your school and attend classes?” 

“Wow. You are on fire with the age jokes today,” Alec said, looking at him obliquely. Theo laughs heartily.

“Well, did you?”

Alec sighs deeply. “No. It’s so much worse than that. I had to ride a horse to get to school. I hate horses, hard on the buttocks.” He decided to ride along, though he’s being serious about the horses. He once rode one with Daisy when they went to a zoo back when she was just a kid. He literally just endured it because Daisy was enjoying it so much.

“Oh. So you’ve actually been around William Shakespeare?” 

“William Shakespeare… Great writer, one of the best. I’ve seen the first play of ‘ Love’s Labour Lost’ .” 

Theo briefly frowns at the title, but he goes on. “Was it any good?”

“Well, witches appeared in the play. There’s also this swirly portal that opened up in the sky and tried to suck everyone in. I’m just lucky to be alive,” Alec said wistfully. Theo smiles broadly when he realizes. 

“Are you… Have you been watching ‘Doctor Who’?”

Alec frowns at him and finally drops the act. “You’re acting as if I actually lived under a rock. Of course I’ve watched ‘Doctor Who’! Who hasn’t watched that bloody show?”

“You just don’t look like the kind of person who would like that.”

“I liked ‘The Six Million Dollar Man.’” 

“You said you didn’t like anything—oh God. You like sci-fi stuff.” Theo gasped as if it’s a big discovery. Alec rolled his eyes.

“Not all!”

“And you judged me for liking ‘Star Wars’?” Theo huffed, narrowing his eyes at him. Alec simply grinned, shrugging. He chooses not to acknowledge it. 

“So, what did you think about the movie we watched? Was it as ‘life-changing’ as your friend mentioned?” 

Theo pursed his lips. “I think it was great. Not life-changing like Mitch said, but I still liked it.” He scrunched his nose up. “I can’t tell him that, though. It’s kind of become his favorite movie of the year.” 

Now that Alec thought of it, he doesn’t think Theo ever talked about his favorite movie—except for his sci-fi movies, ofcourse. 

“What’s your favorite movie of all time?” Alec decides to ask. Theo perks up at his question.

“‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.’ That’s my favorite movie of all time. It hasn’t changed since,” Theo answered as he grinned widely. Alec wishes to always receive those smiles.

“Hmm. Suits you, sunshine.” 

Theo makes a face, surprised. “Really? Why do you think that movie suits me?” 

“Well,” Alec clears his throat and motions towards him. Suddenly, he's nervous. “You quite can be a bit…like the sun shines out of your arse.” He meant to say that Theo’s a warm, happy, and optimistic person, but that came out instead. What is wrong with him? 

The look on Theo’s face was priceless, and Alec felt embarrassed. Has he said something wrong? 

“What?” Theo blurted out and stopped walking, grabbing Alec’s arm to stop him as well. The brief touch made Alec's heart skip a beat.

“Now, hold on. What did you think ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ is about?” Theo asks, obviously trying hard not to laugh. Alec stares at him, bewildered.

“Uh… About how happy life can be through hardships and friendships…?” Alec took a wild guess there, unsure. Well, he doesn’t know! He assumed that since there’s the word ‘sunshine,’ then it’s a happy film, plus it’s Theo. The personification of a sun (an overexaggeration, but you get it). Theo stares at him for a moment before he actually breaks into fits of laughter. 

Alec frowns, offended. “Oi! What—why are you laughing?” 

“What—oh god. I’m sorry but that’s what you thought of that movie? That it’s full of sunshine and daisies?” Theo asks incredulously, full-on cackling now as he holds onto Alec’s shoulder for support. Please don’t take it off. Alec’s face remains stoic, yet he feels the flush on his cheeks blooming.

“It’s not that funny, arsehole,” Alec grumbled. He huffs. “…Is it not?” he questions quietly. Theo laughs for a bit more before he slowly calms down and stands up straight, still holding onto Alec’s shoulder. 

“No, you uncultured twat. We need you to learn and study more about movies. Especially gems like that,” Theo says with a click of his tongue and a shake of his head like he’s disappointed in him. 

Alec huffed. “So, what is it?” 

“Well, thank you for asking.” Theo smiled and Alec playfully rolled his eyes. He pressed on. “It’s a movie about a man who finds out that his ex underwent a procedure to erase their memories together so he does the same thing. But as he went through the process and saw all of the memories they have with each other, he realized that it’s wrong and that he wants to hold onto the memories. But it still happened, the memories of them together being gone.”

Now, that sounds sad. Alec thought. That’s the opposite of what he’d assume Theo’s favorite film is.

“That’s unexpected from you.” Alec eventually comments after a moment. Theo smiles at him.

“Why? Because I have the ‘sun shining out of my arse’?” he mocks, raising an eyebrow at him. Alec felt ashamed. 

“Shut up, Villanueva. It was a bloody mistake.”

“I took it as a compliment, sweetheart.” Theo squeezes his shoulder, his hand so light and gentle, before he takes it back that Alec almost protested. His touch left an imprint on Alec; he wanted more of it. More of Theo’s lingering touch.

“But in the end, they found out what happened and even if they knew what happened the last time they were together, they were still willing to start again.” Theo smiled as they started walking again. “You know, you have to watch it. You need to watch it. It’s really such a beautiful film.”

“Oh, I’m fine. I experienced your storytelling, and I think that’s far better than watching the actual film.” Alec dryly stated. Theo gave him an indignant look.

“What about you? Any favorite films of all time?” 

“Nothin’ I can think of,” Alec replied. He couldn’t remember any film that had that kind of impact on him. He can only remember the snippets of movies he’s ever watched and it’s only under a hundred films.

“Really? Any films that you liked then?” Theo tries; he looks hopeful that Alec would atleast say one film. Alec tried thinking.

“Er… I think I quite liked that one American film with the butler and six guests tryin’ to figure out a murder.”

“Butler and six guests? Were they in a mansion?”

“I think so?”

Theo ponders for a minute. “Clue!” he exclaims like he won something.

“Aye. Clue. There were parts that made me pissed off with the characters because it’s so obvious who the killer was! It was right under their noses and yet they haven’t got a goddamn clue.” 

Theo smiled as if he were saying, ‘I see what you did there.’ Alec grinned smugly.

“Maybe you should try watching ‘Knives Out.’ It’s a murder mystery too. It’s really good. I liked it a lot.” Theo suggests.

“You know for a doctor, you sure do have a lot of time to watch movies,” Alec comments in disbelief.

Theo laughs and his eyes light up. “I love movies.”

“You love everything.”

“And you hate everything,” Theo shoots back. Alec hums in acknowledgment. Well, he doesn’t hate everything . There’s Daisy, Ellie, tea, toast…and the man beside him. He stopped the urge to say that, keeping his mouth shut.

Alec and Theo went on with leisurely walking through the streets until it was midnight. As much as Alec didn’t want the night to end, he has to be home for Daisy, while Theo has to be early tomorrow for his shift. He offered to drive Theo back to his house because Theo's car was still in the shop. 

“Thanks for the ride, Alec,” Theo said once they arrived at his house.

“‘Course. My pleasure,” Alec replied softly. “Tonight was fun. I enjoyed the movie.” Enjoyed Theo’s company, rather. How could he focus on the film when someone like Theo is sitting beside him?

“It was fun,” Theo agreed. He smiles wryly. “But do you even remember what we watched?”

Busted. Alec’s lips curled up, trying to think of a good, plausible guess. “Somethin’...about space and planets and ships…” He didn’t even try. Theo looked at him, astonished.

“You are so hopeless.” Theo rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile tugging at his lips—soft, unguarded. Alec stares before he can stop himself. Oh, God. He wants to kiss him. The thought comes unbidden, stupidly insistent, and he doesn’t move, doesn’t breathe. Just watches. The urge to lean in and kiss him rises sharp and sudden.

But he swallows it down. Alec averts his gaze from his lips.

“You should go in. It’s late,” he tells him, his voice a bit hoarse. Theo looks at him, something curious and intent in his eyes, gaze drifting—slowly, unmistakably—across Alec’s face. Did he just glance at his lips? Alec can’t tell. But the thought sends a jolt through him, quick and breathless.

“Yeah. Good night, Alec,” Theo bid and went out of his car while Alec masked his disappointment with a melancholy smile.

When Alec got home, Daisy and Chloe were already passed out on the couch. They’re both snoring softly, snuggled up together while the TV is still open, playing some movie that Alec doesn’t recognize at all. Alec didn’t mind them and simply shook his head at how messy the coffee table was with their empty wrappers and snacks. He picks up the remote and turns off the TV, cleans up their mess, and trudges off into his bedroom. 

Alec changed into his pajamas and lay on his bed. He rolls onto his side, pressing his face into the pillow like it might smother the ache settling in his chest. But sleep doesn’t come. Theo lingers in his thoughts. Persistent. It frustrates him, annoys him. He hates it. 

By the time morning creeps in, Alec realizes he hasn’t slept at all.