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English
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Published:
2025-05-26
Updated:
2025-08-25
Words:
2,228
Chapters:
8/?
Comments:
36
Kudos:
103
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1,192

Dam(n) imagine being a little hater

Summary:

Just another chatfic that i decided to make at 5 am after a nightmare :p
rated mature for (really bad) sex jokes and swearing

Notes:

im so sorry if i mischaracterize these goofy people im still reading the lost hero 😭

Chapter 1: Percy should die (again)

Notes:

btw all misspelling of words are on purpose

Chapter Text

New chat
4:30 am

Percy Jackson added 10+ people

 

Percy Jackson: HEYYYYY CHAT

Annabeth Chase: percy what the hell

Percy Jackson: what?
i didnt do anething:(

Annabeth Chase: you added us into some random gc at 4 am
why are you still up?

Percy Jackson: i could ask the same question wise girl
why ARE you up?

Annabeth Chase: im helping Malcolm with some blueprints

Percy Jackson: at 4 am????

Annabeth Chase: we do our best work in the early morning

Percy Jackson: and your telling me to go to sleep 😒

Annabeth Chase: yea i am cuz i dont wanna deal with a tired Percy today

Nico Di Angelo: can yall both stfu im trying to sleep

Percy Jackson: THE NICO DI ANGELO ACTUALLY SLEEPING???
ID THOT ID NEVER SEE THE DAY

Annabeth Chase: ...thats the wrong thought Percy

Percy Jackson: OH SHIT UR RITE

Nico Di Angelo: ok can we all just ho to sleep

Percy Jackson: whats the magic worrrdd?

Nico Di Angelo: go to sleep before i rip out your trachea.

Percy Jackson: ok fine

 

Everyone is offline

Chapter 2: Leo Valdez schizo conformed???

Chapter Text

New chat
1:00 pm

Will Solace: what the hell happened last night??

Annabeth Chase: i dont even know at this point istg ive been disassociating this entire summer

Percy Jackson: fr i feel like this summer is going to fast

Will Solace: its not tho this summer is going by so slow

Percy Jackson: really??

Will Solace: thats what i just said wasn't it?

Percy Jackson: beware Billy Badass over hear

Will Solace: im bouta Billy beat yo ass

Percy Jackson: yea okay sure 😒

Leo Valdez: hey so ik yall r yk BRAWLING. but like we should have really cool nicknames and stuff

Piper McLean: leo...why is that not a bad idea

Leo Valdez: ik im just so smart 😝😝💯💯🔥🔥🔥

Annabeth Chase: ...whos gonna tell him...

Leo Valdez: im gonna kms atp

Nico Di Angelo: YAYY

Jason Grace: Hey Leo, you know you can talk to me at any time right?

Leo Valdez: yea ik, dw abt it

Jason Grace: Alright! Just checking :)

Percy Jackson: jason you text like a woman in her 30's

Annabeth Chase: fr I dont use good grammar while texting and thats saying smth

Leo Valdez changed Percy Jackson's name to Seaweed Brain

Seaweed Brain: leo wtf

Leo Valdez: yall were taking to long

Seaweed Brain: you a hoe

Seaweed Brain changed Leo Valdez's name to Flamethrower

Flamethrower: k fuck me ig 😒

Seaweed Brain: im good thats jasons job

Flamethrower: WHTA NO NO ITD NOT

Seaweed Brain deleted a message

Seaweed Brain: what r u talking abt??

Flamethrower: U JUST DELETED THE MESSAGE YOU HOE

Seaweed Brain: what message?? Leo Valdez schizo conformed???

Flamethrower: IM GONNA EAT ALL OF YOUR BLUE COOKIES

Flamethrower sent an attachment

[In the photo leo sent there in a platter of blue chocolate chip cookies, two of said cookies have large bites taken out of them]

Seaweed Brain: YOU HOE THOSE ARE MY COOKIES

Annabeth Chase: oh ur fucked

Jason Grace: I'll go get Will...

Everyone is offline

Chapter 3: The required nicknames in every chat(fic)

Notes:

holy crap yall actually like ts?? i mean im not complaining but dam(n), ig ill keep feeding yall this barely readible crap

Chapter Text

New chat
12:00 pm

Flamethrower: okay im just gonna start naming things cuz this chat is boring now

Flamethrower chaged the chat name to: Gaea's worst nightmare

Flamethrower: idk what to name the chat so thats what its gonna be until sm renames it

Flamethrower chaged Will Solace's name to Glowstick

Flamethrower chaged Annabeth Chase's name to Wise Girl

Flamethrower changed Nico Di Angelo's name to Death Boy

Flamethrower chaged Jason Grace's name to Superman

Flamethrower chaged Piper McLean's name to Beauty Queen

Flamethrower chaged Frank Zhang's name to Beast Boy

Flamethrower chaged Hazel Levesque's name to Shine Bright Like A Diamond

Flamethrower: k now im done

btw no one is safe
anyone who joins gets a name fuck u

Chapter 4: Annabeth come get your brother.

Notes:

sorry about the wait, im currently getting a j*b :( yeah ik but im broke asf sooo heres a long ahh chapter to make up for it •_________•

Chapter Text

Gaea's worst nightmare
1:00 pm

Glowstick: ANNABETH @Wise Girl @Wise Girl

Wise Girl: WHAT

Glowstick: ARE CONNER STOLL AND MALCOLM PACE TOGETHER????

Wise Girl: WHAT? THIS IS NEWS TO ME? WHAT THE FUCK?

Wise Girl added Malcolm Pace to Gaea's worst nightmare

Glowstick changed Malcolm Pace's name to Book Lover

Glowstick added Conner Stoll to Gaea's worst nightmare

Glowstick changed Conner Stoll's name to The Book.

Wise Girl: HELP THE NAMES 😭🙏

Book Lover: Why was I added to this? And what is this nickname...?

Wise Girl: NAH UH DONT TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT

Book Lover: I don't know what the subject even was. But okay I suppose.

Annabeth Chase: WELL IM GLAD YOU ASKED. ARE YOU AND CONNER DATING?

Book Lover: No. Of course not.

Wise Girl: YOU LIAR TELL ME EVERYTHING.

❂※〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜〜※❂

Chat between Malcolm Pace and Conner Stoll

Malcolm Pace: HOW DO THEY KNOW

Conner Stoll: IDK??? wait....

Malcolm Pace: What did you do.

Conner Stoll: the infirmary...

Malcolm Pace: What about the infirmary...?

Conner Stoll: i kissed you in the infirmary before i left...

Malcolm Pace: Shit. Do you remember who was on shift?

Conner Stoll: it was probably will cuz thats who texted the gc

Malcolm Pace: Look at you, being smart

Conner Stoll: shut up i can be smart when i want to

Malcolm Pace: So you never want to be smart?

Conner Stoll: im gonna break up with you.

Malcolm Pace: You love me too much <3

Conner Stoll: dammit ur right

✶✺~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~✺✶

Gaea's worst nightmare

Seaweed Brain: r they gonna respond orrrrr...

Book Lover: No, Conner and I are not dating, nor would we like to.

Glowstick: then what was that kiss you 2 shared in my infirmary?

Wise Girl: KISS?

Book Lover: There was no kiss, we are not together.

Wise Girl: i dont believe you im going to find you.

Book Lover: I'd much rather you not.

Wise Girl: too late pace.

Jason Grace: I would probably start sprinting!

Book Lover: I CAN ASSURE YOU, I AM

Seaweed Brain: @The Book. i would prob start looking for a new bf

Book Lover: @ The Book PLEASE DON'T I REALLY WANT TO KEEP MY BOYFRIEND THAT WOULD BE NICE

Seaweed Brain: so you admit that hes your bf

Book Lover: FINE YES, WE ARE DATING, AND WE HAVE BEEN FOR ALMOST 3

Wise Girl: I GOT HIM

Seaweed Brain: they are currently wrestling in the dining pavilion shouldn't we call will...

Death Boy: will is currently watching AND cheering on the sidelines so no we'll just have to wait for sm else sensible

Seaweed Brain: oh... well thats fun

Death Boy: yup well im going to make sure no body dies Ciao

Seaweed Brain: yea thats probably a good idea

Everyone is offline

Chapter 5: Nico stop being emo and talk to your boyfriend.

Notes:

this chapter touches a little bit on depression so if thats triggering to you i would suggest you skip this chapter, i love you guys stay safe <3

also really funny story i forgot that "yall" isnt smth that people around the world say (im from texas, sue me) so uhhmm yea

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Gaea's worst nightmare
8:00 pm

Glowstick: Hey can somebody check on Nico for me?

Wise Girl: why? is he okay?

Glowstick: Not really...I don't know what happened but he won't let me into his cabin...

Wise Girl: hmm okay, if you do end up getting in, let him know that i said that i love him

Glowstick: I will. Thank you Annabeth.

Wise Girl: youre welcome <3

❂✸•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••✸❂

Chat between Will Solace and Nico Di Angelo

Will Solace: Hello my love

Nico Di Angelo: hi

Will Solace: What's wrong darling? You've been cooped up in your cabin all day

Nico Di Angelo: nothings wrong

Will Solace: I can tell that's a lie Nico. please. just talk to me...

Nico Di Angelo: nothing is wrong will. leave me alone.

Will Solace: you dont have to tell me everything, but if you dont tell me anything i cant help make it better

Nico Di Angelo: just
come to my cabin

Will Solace: ill be there in 5! i love you!

Nico Di Angelo: love you too

❂✸••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••✸❂

Gaea's worst nightmare

9:30 pm

Wise Girl: @Glowstick did you find out if nico is ok?

Glowstick: he was infact, not ok

but we had a talk abt feelings n stuff and now hes very asleep :)

Glowstick sent an attachment

[In the photo Will sent Will is seemingly in the Hades cabin and Nico is fast asleep on Will's chest, Will's hand is tangled in his dark hair and there are subtle (but not so subtle) dried tear lines on Nico's face]

Wise Girl: AWWWWWWW WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU TWO SO CUTE YOU WHORES

Glowstick: oh...!

Wise Girl: teehee ;)

Glowstick: im shaking, why tf did you say "teehee"

Wise Girl: teehee

Glowstick: STOP WTF

Wise Girl: teehee

Glowstick: IM GONNA JUMP.

Wise Girl: teehee

Glowstick: PLEASE I BEG

Wise Girl: teehee

Death Boy: both of you need to cease use of thy vocal cords.

Wise Girl: we're typing tho?

Death Boy: im going to rip off your fingers

Wise Girl: do it hoe.

Glowstick: uhm lets NOT do it hoe...

Death Boy: i will beat your ass.

Glowstick: which one of us tho?

Death Boy: obviously not you, youre into that shit

Wise Girl: kinky

Glowstick: EEWW ANNABETH YOURE ACTING LIKE LEO WTF

Wise Girl: EW YOURE RIGHT

Death Boy went offline.

Glowstick: damn... cant take none of our shit

Wise Girl: fr

Everyone is offline

Notes:

yall should comment 😝

Chapter 6: Authors note!!

Chapter Text

hey guys! so ik I've been gone for a while and im so so so so so so so so so sorry about that but uhm texas had a massive flood and while im not affected by it, a lot of my friends and family are so uhm yeah. i also just have no good ideas for another chapter, so if there's anything that you wanna see just let me know and yeah. again i am so sorry i haven't posted in a while life has been hectic :(
LOVE YOU GUYS STAY SAFE, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING GOOD IN THE WORLD!! <3333333333333333333333333

-Rin ✮

EDIT 7/13/25
SOOOOO im working on a new chapter, its not going to be great but im honestly trying to make this fic good and its not working so uhhhh yea! look forward to that new chapter!!!

Chapter 7: Leo be so fucking for real.

Summary:

leo lies and it goes off the rails

Notes:

theres some valgrace (finally, holy Hades) and some more malconner cuz malconner is my favorite bg character ship

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Gaea's worst nightmare
6:00 pm

Flamethrower: contrary to popular belief i am NOT a twink.

Death Boy: see thats exactly what a twink would say

Flamethrower: IM NOT

Book Lover: And I'm not a child of Athena.

Death Boy: see even malcolm agrees
and he is the twinkiest twink

Book Lover: Okay Mr. Has-Been-lifted-MULTIPLE-TIMES- by-Will.

Death Boy: jump.

Book Lover: Woooow.

Book Lover took a screenshot.

Book Lover: I am so sending that to Will.

Death Boy: ykw. fine
im going to push you myself

Book Lover: try me.

The Book.: lets not!

Book Lover: Yes Conner.

Death Boy: damn you lowk whipped lmao

Glowstick: Nico please dont fight malcolm, i really dont want to have to deal with either of you in my infirmary

Death Boy: sorry tessoro

Book Lover: And you call me whipped

Death Boy: im pushing you off a cliff.

Glowstick: Nico.

Death Boy: sorry

Superman: What happend here?

Book Lover: Leo said he wasnt a twink and then Nico called me a twink so I called him a twink and then he threatened to push me off a cliff so I told him to do it and then Conner interfered and then Nico called me whipped and then Will showed up and then I called Nico whipped.

The Book.: you do realize you could have js told him to back read

Book Lover: I realize that now...

Flamethrower: lmao

Superman: Hi Leo!

Flamethrower: hey jase!

Superman: You should come to bunker 9, I'm over there

Flamethrower: sprinting rn

Superman and Flamethrower are offline

The Book.: they should js date already🙄

Book Lover: Real shit

Glowstick: never in my 15 years have i ever thought i would hear MALCOLM PACE say "real shit"

The Book.: chat he's adopting slang and it's scaring me...

Book Lover: Just because I don't use slang that much doesn't mean I don't know what it is.

The Book.: its not that we don't think you don't know it exists, it's you text all proper and it scares us when you stop doing that

Book Lover: Ohhh, That makes a lot more sense

The Book.: yea also come to the hermes cabin im gonna teach you how to turn off cap lock

Book Lover: Coming

Book Lover and The Book. are offline

Seaweed Brain: theyre def gonna make out. i know it

Glowstick: you and annabeth core.

Seaweed Brain: fuck you

Glowstick: nico has

Seaweed Brain: WTAG

Glowstick: i meannnnnn whaaaat! thats crazy who said that (•⁠ 0 •)⁠！

Seaweed Brain: wait that emoticon is so cute its mine now. this is a threat

Glowstick: oh...!

Seaweed Brain: tread lightly.

Glowstick: and im never leaving my cabin ever again 😭

Seaweed Brain: now i know where to find you

Glowstick: fuck ur right

Seaweed Brain: get ready.

Glowstick: if i die know that its percys fault good bye cruel world

Everyone is offline

Notes:

this chapter was a little rushed cuz i didnt want to leave yall on a authors note, but the next one will be a lot better trust

Chapter 8: ANOTHER AUTHORS NOTE??? KILL ME

Summary:

I know I know another authors note *eye roll* i love you tho 🤷

Chapter Text

hey guys... so uhm really funny story...i got a new phone and uhm... chapter 8 was deleted... IK IM SORRY BUT ILL KEEP WORKING ON IT I PINKY SWEAR IM DO SORRY BUT LIKE I MIGHT POST A LIL SUM SUM SOON?? but fr like i might srap my og idea because i can't write regular fics idk why i just kinda suck at writing 😔 but like i completely understand if yall hate me anyways love youuuu!!! make sure yourr taking care of yourself remember that I love you so much and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day/night <333333333333333333

-Rin♧