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Chapter Text

The sound of men's voices and snarling dogs tore through the January night, a constant reminder of just what Penelope Featherington was running from. It had been hours since she had snuck out of her quarters, and she had managed to evade any potential trouble until now. Not willing to risk being caught by any stable grooms, she had made the hard decision to go on foot, with nothing more than a small bag of her most precious possessions, some food, and as many layers of clothes that she could fit into. While she was cold, her constant moving had provided her with enough warmth to avoid any sort of dangerous outcome. At least, that was what she kept telling herself.  

Racing through the dark had proved to be harder than she had anticipated, having already tripped over numerous roots and other derbries that was hidden under the thick snow. Cursing her skirts for making maneuvering through the fallen snow all that much harder, she continued, knowing that to be caught would be a fate worse than death. Still, realistically, how much further could she go on like this? 

As if being guided by an angel, she could just make out a small structure of sorts in the near distance. There was no visible light inside, but the smell of a smoke alerted her that it was not abandoned. If she could only convince whomever lived there to let her rest for the evening, she might be able to plan her next moves and get some rest. Surely they would take pity on a woman, especially one traveling alone... Then again, they could be bruts, and turn her over to the men, or worse, hurt her in some way she dared not imagine.  

The voices of the men grew louder, making her mind up for her, and so with all her strength, she ran towards it. 

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It was a log cabin, small, but beautiful in it's own rustic way. Peeking into the window next to the front door, she saw nothing but the dwindling embers of a forgotten fire. Taking one last look back to ensure that no one saw her, she pushed the heavy door, using her shoulder to wedge it open just enough to slip inside. The warmth from the hearth immediately warmed her, and she let out a sigh of relief.

"Hello?" She called out into the dark room. "Forgive my intrusion, but I need help." Silence.

Knowing that she would not immediately have to explain herself, she collapsed onto the wood floor and began to remove her top layers to dry. If the person should return home and forced her back into the snow, she at least wanted to be ready for it. The night would only grow colder, and God only knew how long it would take her her succumb to the harsh winter if she was not prepared. 

Taking in her surroundings, she found that the cabin was made up of one room, with a stove, a wash basin, a few storage chests, and a small table with one wooden chair. Everything was rustic and bare, no frivolity in sight, only a few wood carvings that were placed on a shelf, one of a bear, a fish, and a few that were possibly future utensils. Being accustomed to more grand dwellings, the simplicity of the room was a shock. It wasn't dirty, but it certainly wasn't kept up by servants. It was obvious that no woman lived here, but it felt cozy, something that she had  admittedly never felt in her own family's home. 

Her family...

Shaking her head, she pushed them to the back of her mind and placed her clothes in front of the fire. She added another log and blew gently, delighting in how easily it caught on. Whomever lived here knew how to stay warm, if the dryness of the wood had anything to do with it, and no one appreciated that fact more than Penelope's trembling form. 

As her adrenaline wore off, she felt the exhaustion set in, begging her to sleep while the bed on the far side of the cabin beaconed her to lay down. Hesitantly, she stood up and walked over to it, feeling uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping in a strangers bed. Even under these extreme conditions, this bed was not hers, and it felt wrong and almost disrespectful to climb into it. Slowly, she reached down and let her hand feel the beautiful animal fur the lay atop it before pulling it back to reveal actual sheets. This surprised her, as she had expected a more primal set up. The sheets were clearly worn, but they appeared clean, and she couldn't hope for more than that. Removing her boots, she crawled into the bed and sighed lowly. The bed smelled of cedar and spice, and something else that she could not put her finger on.

As the fire began to roar, the heat and calming scent from the bed calmed her nerves and lulled her into a deep sleep. 

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The sound of banging woke her from her rest, sending her into an immediate panic. How long had she been asleep for, and who was outside?

The door opened slightly, allowing her to see a tall figure kicking snow off of his boots. Looking around desperately, she grabbed what appeared to be a small kindling axe that lay next to the bed. 

The man entered the cabin, still not aware of her presence. He shrugged off the giant coat he was wearing and took off his fur hat and scarf, revealing a roguish beard and piercing blue eyes. The man was very tall, and by the looks of his form fitting sweater, very muscular. In London, men never appeared so natural, but instead were dressed up like peacocks and paraded around as such. This man actually looked like what a man should look like, and combined with his scent around her, Penelope felt a burning.

As though sensing her thoughts, the man's eyes found hers, and seemed to sparkle with intrigue. Penelope gripped the axe tighter and sat up straight.

"Who are you?" She demanded, taking a moment to cover her body with the animal skins. The man raised an eyebrow at her.

"Miss, you are in my cabin, if anyone should be asking who's who, it's me." His assertive tone caused her mouth to go dry. Oh.

"I beg your pardon, Sir," She flushed. "I'm sorry to have intruded, but I was overtaken by the storm and needed a place to-"

"You're British," The bearded man observed. "Long way from home aren't you? What brings you to the states?" Penelope watched him carefully as he poured water into a brass kettle and placed in over the fire. His none discern of her in his home confused her, as she had anticipated a more lively reaction from the home owner.

"I do not believe that is your business." She informed him weakly. The corner of his mouth lifted into an amused smile.

"Miss, it became my business the moment you broke into my home." Groaning like a child, she rose to her feet and crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry that I entered your home without permission, but I had no other choice-" Holding up a large hand, the man interrupted her yet again.

"Miss, what I need to know, is if a jealous husband is going to be beating down my door in the middle of the night, demanding to know why his wife is in my bed."

"I assure you that I am not married," she quickly informed him. "Not yet."

"Not yet eh?" Penelope sighed, realizing that she was going to be forced to talk about it. 

"If you must know, I was sent here from London to marry my cousin Jack in exchange for my family's protection and financial future." A deep frown graced his handsome face. 

"You're family... sold you?"

"In a crude matter of speaking, yes." For the first time since his arrival, the man's expression softened, and actually seemed sympathetic.

"So, you are on the run."

"I am."

"What about your family," He crossed his arms. "Won't they be in some trouble if you don't hold up their end of the bargain?"

"They betrayed me," She all but growled. "They can go to hell for all I care." He stared at her like she had three heads before letting out a deep chuckle.

"I take it you do not like this Jack fellow?"

"I think nothing at all of him."

"If you don't hate him, then why not just go through with it? Seems like it would be a whole lot easier. It's gotta be better than treking through the snow in nothing more than a petticoat."

"I don't love him," She told him wholeheartedly. "though, I suppose that makes me seem like a foolish woman to you."

"I think it makes you seem like a very strong woman, Miss..."

"Penelope." 

"Penelope." He repeated her name softly and held out his hand to her. "My name is Colin." Timidly, she placed her hand in his, awaiting for him to place a kiss upon it. To her surprise, the man began to gruffly shake her hand as though she were a gentleman. 

"It is a pleasure to meet you." She told him, immediately removing her hand from his large rough one. No man had ever touched her in such a way, and despite it's impropriety, her body couldn't help but react to it. 

"Are you hungry?" Colin asked, his voice much friendlier than before. "I can heat you up some rabbit stew. I'm sure that it's not like what you are used to, but it'll fill your belly and help you sleep tonight."

"I can stay?" She asked in disbelief. Surely it couldn't be that easy. "But I have no money."

"I don't need money," He replied with a shrug. "What I do need, is to know that you are free."

"Why?" She whispered in awe of his kindness. "You don't even know me. Why do you care what happens to me?"

"I have four sisters," He explained gently. "and the idea of a woman being forced into marriage doesn't sit right with me. No matter the reasoning for it." Penelope felt her heart speed up at the truth in his voice; he meant every word.

"Truly? You'll allow me to stay?"

"How's this," He sat on the edge of the bed, causing her jump back. He leaned forward slowly, his eyes kind. "I swear on the grave of my father, Edmund Bridgerton, that you are safe with me, Penelope. I will not touch you, I will not harm you. You can trust me. Do you understand?" Eyeing him, she pulled the fur closer to her as though it would somehow bring her comfort.

"You promise?"

"You are safe with me," He vowed again. "and free to stay as long as you need to." Who was this man?

"I cannot pay you for your kindness." She replied breathlessly, still unable to understand.

"Well," He grinned cheekily at her. "I got a lot of clothes that need washing and mending, I don't got much extra time with all the work I do. Perhaps you could help me out with those things?" Penelope had no idea how to wash clothes, but she did have a knack for embroidery, perhaps mending clothes would be similar? 

"I can do my best." She offered him bashfully as Colin once again held out his hand to her and winked playfully.

"Shall we shake on it?"

"Shake on it?" She scoffed. "Like some sort of nefarious back alley deal?" This made him laugh, and she didn't understand how or why, but it was her new favorite sound. 

"It's the way it's done around here," He told her. "Do we have a deal then?" Biting her lip, she smiled nervously and shook his hand. 

"Deal." 

Chapter Text

Penelope watched in fascination as Colin warmed the stew on the stove. Never in her life had she seen a man cook his own meal, let alone cook for a woman! As bizarre as it was, she couldn't deny that it did something strange to her, watching such a rugged man do something so domestic. It made her feel special in a way she had never felt before, having someone do something for her out of the goodness of their heart. 
"Might I help in some way?" Shaking his head, he smiled at her and began to ladle the stew into two bowls.
"This is all there is to it, even an oaf like myself can warm soup," He placed one of the bowls on the small table and pulled the chair out for her. "Have a seat while I cut us some bread." Penelope walked over to the chair and smiled shyly up at him.
"Thank you Colin, truly, for all your kindness."
"It's nothing." He assured her as she sat down.
"It's not nothing." She murmured quietly, he had saved her, and in more ways than one. Penelope never considered herself to be religious, but she sent up a thank you all the same. Taking in a deep breath, she reveled in the aroma of the hot stew, but was taken back by the amount he had poured into the bowl. Her meals in London had always been light, her Mama's attempt to keep Penelope's belly from further rounding. While Penelope had never been thin, she had never considered herself to be unhealthy, merely plumper than the other debutants (although her mother made it a point to remind her of it everyday). Looking down at the large bowl, she could practically feel her mother's disapproving stare boring into her. 
"I don't believe that I will require bread Colin," She told him as he began to cut into the loaf. "I have too much as it is."
"You can't eat stew without bread!" He cried. "How are you going to soak up the broth?"
"I have never 'soaked up broth'." Colin tisked at her response.

"We're changing that right now."

"There are already potatoes in it," She pointed out to him. "I do not need to eat more starch."

"You eat it because it's good," He laughed, pulling butter from the cabinet next to him. "and because it keeps you warm." 

"I'm plenty warm enough, and there's no need to add butter, thank you." Keeping his eyes on her, he added a thick layer to the slice of bread before placing it on a small plate in front of her. 

"You wouldn't do me the discourtesy of turning down food in my own home now would you, Penelope?" Despite his stern tone, she could see that his eyes were dancing with mischief. 

"I have no right indulging so, not when I am heavier than I ought to be." Without another word, Colin picked the bread back up, dipped it lazily into the stew, and then held it in front of her mouth. 

"Eat." He instructed her, his voice low. Penelope's eyes widened at his demand.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said," He whispered as he leaned closer to her. "Eat." His hot breath tickled her skin, and she felt the sensation everywhere. Unable to resist his demand, she took a small bite. Shamelessly, Colin watched heatedly as her lips closed over the bread before pulling back and licking her lips.

"How was that?" 

"Delicious." She choked out. Colin's eyes remained locked on her mouth, watching her eat as though it was a sin. It was all consuming, the way his very aura pulled her in. 

"Good," His voice whispered lowly into her ear. "Now be a good girl and finish it all." Eyes wide, Penelope took another generous bite of the bread, trying her best to hide the effect that he had on her.

"I made the butter myself," He informed her proudly, his demeanor suddenly light. "My mother taught me when I was a boy. Now that I live alone, I'm sure grateful that I learned." Dazed, Penelope took a bite of stew, trying to look anywhere but his face. 

"How fortunate you are to be able to provide for yourself. I must admit that I learned far less useful skills when I attended finishing school," Whistling lowly, Colin handed her another slice of bread. "Colin, I have yet to finish my first slice-"

"Finishing school? What exactly did they teach you there?" He interrupted her, nodding at the bread, wordlessly telling her to keep eating. It so improper, the familiarity that he displayed around her. If she had been at a dinner party at home, no one would question her for not finishing her meal, in fact, it was common for young ladies to leave untouched food upon their plates. Sitting with a full stomach while wearing a tight corset could potentially lead to an embarrassing accident, if not merely an uncomfortable evening. 

"I studied embroidery, French, Latin, ballet, table manners; basically I was taught how to be a doll." 

"Why do they teach you those subjects?" He asked with genuine curiosity. "Seems like there are more important things to learn about."

"To be honest with you, I was raised with the knowledge that my husband would be the one who possessed knowledge, not me," She explained sadly. "From the time I began my education, I was taught how to be a wife. When I marry, I will belong to that man and will inherit all of his opinions and submit to his desires."

"His desires? For a well bred lady, you have quite the mouth on you, Penelope." 

"I apologize if I have offended you," She blushed. "I will admit that I do not entirely understand what that word means, but I have been told so for as long as I can remember." 

Colin picked up his bowl and sat on his bed, much to Penelope's horror.

"What are you doing?" She cried, her eyes wide. Colin raised an eyebrow at her in surprise.

"Eating."

"On your bed?"

"I only have one chair," He pointed out. "I most certainly am not going to make you eat standing up."

"But surely-"

"Tell me more about yourself," He quickly changed the subject. "What are your folks like?" The robust appetite she had had quickly faded at the mention of her parents. 

"There's not much to tell. My father was a selfish man who gambled away our fortune and was killed shortly after by his creditors." Colin's face paled as he took in the information. 

"He was killed? That is awful. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss, Penelope."

"There is no need to be, I certainly am not upset about it. My father was a cruel man and only cared for his money and reputation." 

"And your mother?"

"My mother is a snake, but she is clever. I suppose that is her best quality; she is a survivor." 

"Do you have any siblings?"

"Two older sisters, they were married last season," She shrugged. "I am not close to them, so their leaving did not impact me."

"You mentioned that your family was in trouble. Why are your sister's husbands not dealing with it?" Penelope laughed bitterly at the mere idea that those two men would do anything even remotely useful. 

"They are idiots," She replied without any remorse. "They hold no title, wit, or money." Colin nodded his head before taking a final slurp of his stew. If Penelope had ever been caught dead slurping her food like some sort of sow, she would have been sent to bed with no supper for a week. Seemingly noticing the disgust on her face, Colin laughed and shook his head.

"My apologies, I am not used to eating with company, especially not refined company like yourself." 

"I suppose I must make adjustments as well," She offered nervously, looking down at her lap. "This is your home after all, and your country. I have heard that Americans are much less rigid than the English." 

"I take it that you would never be allowed to sleep in a strange man's house alone?"

"Ha!" Penelope laughed loudly. "I would be ruined."

"It is not something that is done here either, although exceptions can be made," He looked at her food and raised an eyebrow. "How bout you do me a favor and take a few more bites. You'll sleep much better if your belly is full." 

Penelope nodded her head and did as he asked, relishing in the feeling of actually having her fill. When her corset began to tighten, she stopped and gently pushed the bowl towards him. Seeming pleased at the little amount of food left, he picked it up and placed it near the wash basin.

"Are you tired?" He asked her kindly. "Or would you like a cup of coffee?" 

"Coffee?" She cried. "It is almost time for bed! No, tea will do just fine." Colin frowned at her and shook his head. 

"Sorry, but I don't have any tea." No tea?

"I beg your pardon?"

"Tea is not common around these parts."

"Why ever not?" 

"To put it plainly, it doesn't have a purpose." For the first time in her life, Penelope's mouth fell open like some sort of fish. 

"What on earth does that mean?"

"Living out in the wilderness, we only make purchases that are practical. Coffee keeps you warm and keeps you awake. Tea is basically hot water, so if that's what I wanted, I would just heat up water." 

"Well," She huffed. "I find that ludicrous, as tea is lovely, although I do see your point. I suppose I am too tired to debate you at this moment. Might I go to sleep?" 

"Of course," He smiled at her. "You take the bed, I shall sleep on the floor." Looking down at the dusty floor, guilt washed over her. While she understood that she could never share a bed with a man who wasn't her husband, she hated that he would have to rest on the cold floor. Colin grabbed a quilt from one of his chests and threw it onto the floor near the fire. Without complaint, he laid down upon it and closed his eyes. 

"Colin," She rose to her feet. "Might I help you to be more comfortable?" Before he could argue, she took one of the furs off of her bed and placed it on top of him like her nurse maid used to do when putting her to sleep as a child. 

"Penelope, there is no need-"

"Hush now," She instructed him, taking the time to tuck the blanket around his legs. "I am more than warm enough and I cannot in good conscious let you freeze on the floor." 

"I am near the fire, I will be fine."

"That is one thing that men in America and men in England have in common, you are all stubborn." Cracking a smile, Colin shrugged his shoulders.

"I suppose you are right, my ma always said that us Bridgerton men were as thick headed as they come." 

"Your mother is an intelligent woman." 

"That she is," He winked at her before his eyes softened. "You remind me a lot of her."

"You barely know me."

"True, but I've been around enough strong woman to know one when I see one." Penelope felt her cheeks redden at his compliment. No one had ever called her strong before, and she wasn't even sure if she would call herself that. All her life she had felt timid and sheltered, never needing to face anything really.  

"I mean it," He assured her as though he could read her thoughts. "I don't know many women who would trek through miles of knee deep snow in the middle of the night, in a foreign country, all alone, to escape an arranged marriage. It takes guts to do that, Penelope. Do not sell yourself short or assume that you are anything less than extraordinary. You choice the harder option."

"I didn't," She shook her head in disagreement. "Being forced to marry would be harder. Having to live your life with someone you have to tolerate. I could never do that, it would be a fate worse than death." Hesitantly, he reached up to cradle her cheek softly.

"Only for a truly great woman." If it had been any other man to say those words to her, Penelope might have called him a liar, but Colin spoke in such a way that resembled a sacred vow. Every word touched her heart and made her feel more powerful than she ever had dared to even dream of. 

Suddenly realizing that she was still next to him on the floor, she stood up quickly and smoothed out her dress.

"It is late, we should go to sleep now." Looking up at her with a lazy smile, Colin nodded his head.

"You sleep well, Penelope." 

"And you." She replied, nervously biting her lip. As she climbed into the bed, she turned on her side so that she could peak at the handsome honorable man laying on the floor, and wondered why she felt like she had known him her whole life. 

Chapter Text

The melodic sound of birds chirping woke Penelope the next morning. Once again, Colin's scent wafted from the warm bed, and she took a moment to revel in it once again. It was odd to feel such a pull towards a stranger, especially one that society would deem as being beneath her station, despite the fact that her family was actually dirt poor. The only saving grace her family had was their long standing good name, and luckily for her mother, her father had managed to keep his dealings relatively quiet, thus leaving their reputation in tact. The ton was nothing but an illusion, and those who belonged to it were liars, playing a part to hide their true selves. In truth, it was Penelope who was not good enough for someone as good natured as Colin. 

With a deep sigh, she turned to her side to wish him a good morning, but his spot on the floor was empty. Sitting up quickly, she looked around the cabin to find that the fire was freshly stoked and there was bread, cheese, and some preserved fruit on the table, but no sign of Colin. Wrapping a quilt around her, she walked over to the window and peeked outside to see if he was chopping wood or performing some other chore. To her great disappointment, he was no where to be seen. Frowning, she turned on her heel and made her way back to the bed, not feeling the need to break her fast just yet. Where had he gone?

It was impossible to know what time it was, as the sun was blocked by the thick dark clouds that signaled more impending snowfall. For all she knew, he could have just left, or perhaps he had left at sunrise, and would be returning shortly. Judging by the crackling roar of the fire, he couldn't have been gone for too long...

Speaking of passing time, how much longer could she stay here? Surely Colin had a life and routine to get back to, then again, she had only been here since the night before, so her intrusion had been brief thus far, but still an imposition. Oh, but how was she to leave when she was so out of her element? Perhaps he could help her to find supplies, or direct her towards a town in which she could find some sort of employment. The idea of working was not something that Penelope had ever considered for herself, but it seemed that now she had no choice. If she didn't escape the area soon, it wouldn't be long before Jack found her. 

Jack. 

Her skin crawled at the mere thought of him. At twenty years her senior, he had been a grown man when she had first met him as a child and when she had been no older than fifteen years old, he had paid them a visit and brought up the possibility of a future match to her parents. He had looked upon her in such a way that she had felt dirty and unsafe, causing her to flee to her room where she had hid for the remainder of his stay. In the years that followed, she had thrown herself at the mercy of the marriage mart, hoping to find someone whom she could spend her life with, a life away from from her family and Jack. At the end of every unsuccessful season, her hope had faded more and more, and the prospect of marrying her vile cousin had been raised by her parents daily.

When her father had been murdered, her mother had made the deal with Jack, effectively killing Penelope as well. Despite her pleading, she had been put on a boat to America merely weeks after the arrangement had been agreed upon. In order to save money, Jack had refused to send her with an escort, but had begrudgingly agreed to pay for her lady’s maid, Rae’s passage. After what had felt like a lifetime at sea, they had arrived in New York, and had been met by Jack's lawyer... 

"Miss Penelope Featherington?" He had asked her when she reached the luggage claim. The man's name was Thomas, and he was short, fat, and unnaturally sweaty.

”I am, Sir.” The foul smelling man had looked her over before giving a firm nod.

”My client is in a meeting and sent me to collect you and your slave.”  Poor Rae's eyes had widened before lowering to the ground in shame. Seeing red, Penelope had taken Rae's arm in her own and held onto her tightly.

“How dare you! Her name is Rae and she is my lady’s maid,” Penelope cried out in horror. “She is not a slave, she is paid a wage and is greatly valued!”

”I don’t care,” the rude man had replied dismissively, already walking towards the carriage. “Come, we need to get back, you are expected to join him for dinner." Not wanting to speak with the man any longer, Penelope had nodded curtly and followed him, her blood boiling. 

When they had arrived at her new home, she was taken aback but it's size. Jack had been well known for bragging about his great wealth in America, yet this house was noticeably smaller than what had been described to her. Perhaps he owned more than one property or lived frugally, regardless, it was not what he had promised when he and her mother had drawn up the paperwork.

"Not what I expected." Rae had murmured behind her as she looked up at the house.

"Certainly not big enough for the twenty servants he claimed to employ." Penelope responded dryly as she followed Thomas inside. 

"Your room is the third one on the left," He had informed her crossly. "Be ready for dinner in one hour." 

"What about my things?" 

"I'll have them sent up shortly, what you are wearing now will suffice." With that, the man had disappeared down the hallway. Penelope looked back at Rae and rolled her eyes.

"Do all Americans have such splendid manners?" 

"I certainly hope not," Rae had giggled as she walked up the staircase. "Come, let's fix your hair and apply some rouge, I dare say you are incredibly pale." 

Penelope had known that she was, and it didn't help that she had a touch of sea sickness on the last half of the journey. Still, she had felt less sick to her stomach at sea than she did at the thought of seeing Jack. With feet as heavy as lead, she had followed Rae up the stairs and into her room, and the sound of the closing door had resembled the clanking of a prison cell locking...

Deep in her own thoughts, Penelope did not hear Colin opening the door. Upon seeing his friendly face, she immediately felt relief.

"You left." She blurted out before stoping herself. An amused smile spread over his face at her accusatory tone as he began to remove his coat and boots.

"I'm sorry that I did not wake you, but I assumed that you needed the extra sleep after all that you went through yesterday. Besides," His smile broadened. "I brought you some gifts."

"Gifts?" Nodding his head enthusiastically, Colin pulled a large burlap sack from behind him and began to open it. 

"I stopped by my ma's and told her that I had a house guest who needed some clothes," Penelope slowly wandered over to him and watched in awe as he began taking items out of the bag; clothing, soap, winter boots, and even a few novels. Her eyes instantly filled with tears, feeling so touched that she could have kissed him right then and there. Taking in her reaction, Colin suddenly began to put the items back into the bag sheepishly. "Sorry, I uh, should have asked you if you needed anything. I just figured that having some extra stuff wouldn't hurt none. I can give them back to her if you like." 

Penelope threw her arms around him and began to sob, unable to contain her gratitude any longer. Mistaking her tears for sadness, Colin pulled her against him and rubbed her back soothingly. The feel of his strong arms around her felt like Heaven as she breathed in his now familiar scent. 

"Please don't cry," He whispered into her curls. "It is all going to be okay. You are going to get away from that man and go on to live your life as you see fit."

Penelope pulled away so that she could see his face. His thick brow was furrowed with concern as he looked back at her, and she felt such tenderness for him that she ran her hand timidly across his face. Despite the beard, his face was surprisingly soft and his cheeks were rosy from either his walk or in response to her actions. 

Colin immediately froze, obviously taken aback by her forwardness. His gentle blue eyes looked back and forth between hers, as though trying to read her mind. No doubt that he must have thought her to be mad, and so reluctantly, Penelope pulled away.

"I'm sorry," She whimpered, wiping away her tears. "I am not accustomed to such thoughtfulness. I dare say that it is a rare occurrence where I am from." In need of further comfort, she wrapped her arms around herself, and took a step back. Colin watched her with a sad expression, but did not reply, almost as if he didn't want to embarrass her. 

"Colin, please tell your mother that I am grateful to her, and that I will make good use of the provisions when I leave tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" He questioned her. "It's going to snow even more tonight."

"I must acclimate myself if I am to make my own way. You roam about in the snow all the time, and so shall I."

"It is different, Penelope," He said firmly, taking a step forward into her space. "I have spent my life out there and have learned how to survive. You are a lady who has never even hunted or built your own shelter, you will not make it out here."

"I cannot impose myself on you any longer, Colin-" 

"It has been a day!"

"I must begin making arrangements and find housing-"

"Penelope, listen to me-"

"If you could only give me directions to the next town, then I can figure out-"

"Penelope!" He roared, immediately silencing her. It was the first time that she could ever recall being yelled at. Her parents were not above talking down to her or throwing jabs her way, but it was considered improper to raise your voice. Aside from newspaper boys and street merchants, she had never heard anyone yell.

Exhaling loudly, Colin rubbed his beard as though he were considering his next words carefully. 

"Penelope," He said softer this time. "I apologize for my outburst, but you do not understand just how dangerous it would be for you to make this journey, alone, in the dead of a winter. You are a spirited woman, and I do not doubt your intelligence or determination, but the great outdoors doesn't care about those things. You lack the skills necessary to do this and I can't in good conscious let you. If it were spring, then I would be more than happy to escort you, and to assist you in any way that I could, but it is not a possibility right now. Whether you like it or not, you are going to stay here with me until it is safe to leave." 

Penelope stared up at him blankly. 

"Are you saying that you will force me to stay here? Against my will?" 

"If you go out there," He pointed towards the door. "Then I will have no choice but to follow you, and then I would be in danger as well. Is that what you want, to put me in harm's way too?" Crossing her arms in protest, she fought back angry tears. 

"No." She choked out, unable to form any other reply. Deep down she knew that he was right, and thinking about it now, she felt silly for even suggesting her leaving on her own. Nodding his head, he opened the burlap sack once more and began to dig through it. 

"Here," He said softly, holding out a tin to her. "I found you some tea." 

Whatever ire she had felt the moment before vanished, as her mouth began to twitch, and she offered him a small smile.

"Thank you."

"I want you to be happy here, and I want you to think of this as your home until you find yours," He smiled at her. "and I promise that after the snow melts, I will help you to find one." Sniffling quietly, she held out her hand to him, signaling her agreement to his proposal. Relieved, he took her small hand in his large one and shook it. 

Chapter Text

The next few weeks passed quickly, and Penelope could not deny that her and Colin got along very well. Despite the utter impropriety of their living situation, the two of them fell easily into a routine. 
Every morning, Colin woke up with the sun and made them breakfast and coffee while Penelope slept in. Following breakfast, Colin would chop firewood while Penelope dressed and began her daily chores. Admittedly, she was not the best at mending clothes, but if Colin cared he didn’t show it. He would simply smile at her and bashfully say thank you before going back to whatever it was that he was doing. 

As bad as she was at mending clothes, she was even worse at washing them. The first few tries, the dyes ran, turning several of Colin’s white sleep shirts a rosy pink color. To her surprise, he had laughed loudly with his entire body, until tears fell from his eyes. She felt awful for ruining them, but knowing that Colin was not upset with her helped to ease her guilt. 

Colin took the time to teach her how to fish, make bread, set up traps, and even how to make a fire. With every new skill she learned, the more confident she became and the idea of surviving actually seemed like a possibility. 

While she loved learning from Colin, her favorite part of the day was the evening, when the two of them sat beside the fire and got to know one another better. Whether it was hearing about his mischievous childhood pranks or his family dynamics, every night there was something new to discover about him. The more comfortable he became with her, the more his personality shined. While she had known that he was kind, she now knew that he was also humorous, amazingly bright, intense, and very observant. There had been times when she had been deep in thought or worried, and he had caught on right away despite her attempts to conceal her emotions. He was sensitive and empathetic, characteristics that most people might find to be a disadvantage for a man, but Penelope found to be endearing. After a lifetime of being dismissed and overlooked, it was so nice to finally feel seen and appreciated.

It wasn't just his personality that she was memorizing, but the dimples on his cheeks and the small lines that appeared at the corners of his eyes when he smiled wide. The way the tips of his ears turned red when she teased him, the way he played with his hands when he seemed nervous, the way his eyes seemed to go from blue to a deep grey blue depending on his mood.... oh the list went on and on. Penelope was positive that she could travel the globe and never find another man more fascinating or more attractive than Colin Bridgerton.   

When Colin asked questions about her, she kept her answers short as her life paled in comparison to his. Growing up, she had never experienced the sort of love, attention, or adventure that he had received. As if out of the pages of a story book, Colin's life had been full and interesting, while Penelope's had been dull and lifeless. 

"I envy you," She had confessed one evening after hearing his tale of when he went ice skating. "For the life you have led."

"You too shall live a great life, Penelope," He assured her. "and you will be happy." Whenever she doubted herself, he would say something that brought her hope. Being around him gave her a peace she had never known, and it made being near him almost addicting. If she were being honest, she would stay with him forever if he asked her to. 

It was early morning and she was making bread as she normally had been, when Colin burst into the cabin, a look of panic on his usually calm face. 

“Colin?” She quickly set down the dough. "Are you quite well?"

“Get into the bed now!” He whispered harshly as he locked the door. The hairs on her arms stood in alert. Something was very wrong.

”What is going on?” 

“Men are riding this way, looks like they might be looking for you. You need to move fast!” 
Penelope's blood turned to ice as she ran to the bed, leaping under the covers. She felt the mattress sink as he sat down next to her. 

”Do not get out of this bed no matter what, understand?” She felt his hot breath near her ear. "No matter what happens."

“Yes.” She quietly responded. 

“You are sleeping, okay?”

”Okay.” 

Unexpectedly, she felt his hand gently rub her back as though he were trying to sooth her. Despite her the terror she felt, she also felt her heart leap at the sweet gesture.

A loud banging on the door caused her to jump, and reminded her that she needed to remain still.

She heard the old door creak as Colin opened it.

”May I help you?” She heard him ask with curiosity. 

“As a matter of fact yes,” A gruff voice replied. “My name is Jack Featherington, I live about five miles north. I’m sorry to bother you, but my fiance disappeared several weeks back and I was wondering if you had seen her.” Dread spread through her at the sound of his voice, a voice that caused her stomach to turn.

No no no! 

She's know that horrible voice anywhere.

“Hello cousin,” Jack had smirked when he entered his dining room. He was later than Thomas had told her, forcing Penelope to wait all alone for well over forty five minutes. “My, my how much you have grown.” His comment had made her shiver with dread.

"Yes, as we all do."

He however looked the same as she had remembered him; tall, lanky, long nose, and light brown hair. His clothes looked like they had once been fashionable, but now just looked ridiculous. It was abundantly clear that he had not purchased them this season, or even the last season. It was safe to say that he was either a miser who hated to spend money, or simply did not have any. 

As he made his way toward her, his eyes had continued to feast upon her shape. With shaky legs, she had rose to her feet, as bile climbed up her throat. He looked like a snake about to strike. 

He kissed her hand longer than what was socially appropriate, and Penelope had been compelled to remove her hand from his. Unable to stop herself, she had wiped her hand off on her dress, as though it would have helped remove his touch somehow.

“Good evening, my Lord.” She bowed politely.

“How was your trip? I apologize that I was not able to meet you at the harbor. Important men like me are not errand boys.”

”It was satisfactory, my Lord. Thank you.” Penelope waited for him to take his seat at the head of the table before sitting down herself. The distance between them had provided her with some relief, and she had felt like she could breath again.

Jack had then immediately begun to drink wine as though it was water, his cheeks quickly turning pink from the effects of the alcohol. By the time the second course had been completed, his words slurred and his body swayed back and forth like he was a ship on a stormy sea.

“I am looking forward to our nuptials,” He had informed her while shamelessly staring at her bosom. “Especially our wedding night. By the look of your hips, I do believe that you will provide me with many children, and we will start trying right away.”

Penelope had kept her eyes downcast, as she felt dirty and ashamed.

“Yes, my Lord.”

”You are quite agreeable," He had winked crudely at her. "I do believe that your submissive nature will make you an exceptional wife. Your mother informed you of your wifely duties did she not?”

Penelope shook her head slowly. Her mother had not explained anything to her, only that her husband would take his pleasure from her. A twisted smile had formed on his face as he went into every disturbing detail of what would occur on their wedding night, but Penelope only heard certain words.

Naked.

Pain.

Ripping.

Blood.

Fucking.

Grabbing.

Twisting.

Penelope’s fingernails had broken the skin of her palms more times than she could have counted as she fought the urge to vomit. Horrible images of what he had described with his vile words repeated in her mind like a bad dream one could not forget. The more she had squirmed, the more detailed he had become, as though her fear brought him morbid elation.

“It will hurt," He had smiled cruelly. "but fighting me will only add to your discomfort. Believe me, I have taken many a young lady's virtues, and I will not care if you cry, so no need for theatrics. You are to be my wife, and thus my property, ready to use as I see fit. I will take you, and you will let me. Do I make myself clear?”

“Penelope?” 

No!

“Penelope?” 

No!

“Penelope!” The blanket was suddenly ripped off of her, and she wailed in fear, violently swinging her arms.

Large arms wrapped around her, and she was pulled into a warm, muscular chest. 

“Shh, it's only me, Colin,” Colin’s deep voice whispered into her hair. “I have you Penelope, you are safe. He is gone now.”

Relief washed over her as she looked up to find him looking at her with a furrowed brow. 

“I heard him,” She sobbed. “I heard him and I remembered all the horrific things that he said he would do to me!” 

He pulled her even closer and gently ran his hand through her curls.  

“That man will never touch you, Penelope.”

”If he finds me-“

”Even if he were to find you, I won’t let him take you away from me.” 

“Please don’t say things you do not mean.”

”But I do mean it,” He said with urgency. “We are going to get you far away from here.”

”What if he comes back?”

”Then I will protect you,” He promised her fiercely. "Even if I have to kill him."

“But why? Why are you helping me?” Colin’s eyes softened as he looked at her face. The terror she had felt merely a moment before began to fade as she watched his eyes fill with a heat that made her feel thirsty. As though moving on it's own, her hand reached up to graze where his shirt opened to reveal the top of his wide chest. Her fingers began to dance through the thin layer of dark hair that covered his muscles, and she heard him inhale sharply. 

”You know why.” He breathed, his gaze drifting down to her lips.

"Colin," Her voice quivered with want. "would, would you kiss me?"

Chapter Text

The words escaped her before she even had the time to truly consider them, but she knew it was her truth. His eyes lowered to her mouth, as he licked his lips.

"I'm not so sure that is a good idea," He replied, his voice full of heat. "After everything that just happened, and everything that you told me, I think that you need time-" No, I won't step down from this! 

"I've had nothing but time, Colin!" She exploded. "I've spent my entire existence on the edge of every dance floor, afraid to step into the light. I am done with all of that!"

"What about your reputation?" He demanded, sitting up so that he was propped up on his elbow. "You said so yourself that you would be ruined."

"No one needs to know but us," Slowly, she reached up with a shaking hand and traced the outline of his lips with her fingers, her heart beating wildly. She had never felt this way about anyone and the aching in her chest was both parts agony and euphoric. "I want it to be with you, Colin." There was a change in his face at her confession, as though there was a crack in his restraint. Wrapping his hand around hers, he stopped her fingers from further exploring his lips. She was about to protest, when she felt him kiss her hand reverently. A wild heat spread throughout her body and Penelope couldn't remember ever feeling warmer.

"Penelope," He murmured, turning her hand over, his lips teasing the sensitive skin of her wrist. "I won't pretend like I haven't envisioned kissing you hundreds of times since we met, but I can't take your first kiss."

"You wouldn't be taking it," Her voice shook with nervous excitement. "I'd be giving it to you."

"I don't deserve such a gift," He replied, shaking his head. "Please save it for someone with a title, for someone who can give you everything."

"No one could ever give me more than what you've given me over the past few weeks! I am an entirely new person because of you, and there is no one whom I long to kiss more than you!"

"Penelope-"

"No! I am not spending another moment of my life being afraid or holding back," She cried out in frustration. "And I am most certainly not going to let another man try and make decisions for me, not even you dammit!"  

Colin's eyes grew wide at her crude language, and before he could object any further, she grabbed his face in her small hands and pulled his mouth down to hers. Being her first kiss, she did nothing more than press her lips against his, unsure of how to proceed. His lips were plush and warm, and his heavenly scent enveloped her just as his arms had done moments before. 

When she eventually pulled back, Colin's eyes were still closed. 

"Colin?" She asked timidly, suddenly feeling self conscious in spite of her previous bravado. After what felt like an eternity, his eyes fluttered open, a look of wonder now in them as he stared back at her. Without a word, he leaned down and kissed her deeply. 

Melting into the mattress, Penelope wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer until his chest was flush with hers. The feeling of his hard chest against her soft breasts was exquisite, and a mall moan escaped her. Colin pulled away, a look of concern on his handsome face. 

"Did I hurt you?" Shaking her head, she giggled softly. 

"Not at all, in fact, I like the way you feel against me. Very much." Realization dawned on him, and he climbed on top of her, running his hand up and down her side. 

"You feel like heaven itself." He told her sweetly before placing another kiss upon her lips. When he began to pull away again, Penelope groaned in protest, grabbed his forearms, and gripped tightly, forcing a chuckle out of him.

"As much as I enjoy kissing you," He murmured against her eager lips. "I think that we need to stop now."

"Why?" She pouted up at him. 

"Because we have all the time in the world, and while I am not a proper gentleman by any measure of the word, my mother still raised me to be respectable," Before he got up, he playfully kissed the tip of her nose. "and since no one deserves more respect than you, we need to do the right thing and stop."

Despite knowing that he was right, Penelope felt a great deal of disappointment. She wanted to feel more, to explore him further, and to satisfy the strange ache between her legs. Sensing her frustration, Colin placed a feather light kiss upon her lips.

"I'm sorry, but there is a correct way to go about doing things and this isn't it. I hope that you understand it has nothing to do with the way that I feel about you, in fact, my feelings for you are what's stopping me from making a mistake."

"You think that I would be a mistake?"  

"You could never be a mistake Penelope, please don't confuse my respect for you for rejection. Please believe me when I say that there is no one I desire more than you. No one." 

He said so with such conviction that she believed him to be truthful, but her insecurities began their usual game of second guessing. 

"Colin," She played with her hair nervously. "Have you ever been in love?" Colin sat up and sweetly covered her with a blanket.

"There was a girl when I was only eighteen, but it was short lived." 

"What was her name?" 

"Marina," He answered flatly with no fondness for the woman's name. "She moved into our neighbor's home who was her cousin and instantly caught my attention. I spent a great deal of time that summer pursuing her and courting her, only to find out shortly after we were engaged, that she was with child. In fact, it wasn't until we were about to wed that I overheard her discussing her secret with her cousin. It turns out that the father of the child was killed in the war, and she was only using me for security."

"Oh Colin." Penelope whispered painfully, but he merely shrugged his shoulders.

"All is well. She moved onto to another and I escaped a loveless marriage. Besides, I know now that my feelings for her were not as strong as I thought them to be." 

"Because she lied to you?"

"No," He reached out and took her hand in his. "Because now I know what real love truly feels like."