Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

my шышмэм plastic surgeon gave me a minecraft asshole

open this portal and you’ll find hundreds of doors and windows

look through this window, look through this door

a certain list is here to make you smirk like a whore

this list is on a burger king bulletin board

where users got the banhammer sword

thousands of signs and thousands of twinks

all posted in a red wool house like carpet flanked by trees of ash

the disc in the jukebox is playing franz liszt

suddenly my insides are perforated into wicky wicky mist

look back at the list, now it’s epstein’s eeby deeby clients

now the zombies at the door are bearded foes of the giants

put in twelve eyes to come and see

and cum and pee and cross the sea

walk through this portal to wake the dragon

and fuck me so hard the server starts laggin

but don’t be shy, this is just foreplay

is this really too 궁금해 for you, kitten?

what did i buy you for? that’s right

twink squirt

Chapter Text

this pussy squirt taste like chick-fil-a sauce

but the quality of those tendies, well, it gives me pause

press pause on the remote watching furry porn

press the pads on my paws and give me your horn

pussy squirt paw patrol, or wicky wicky saw patrol?

cut up them dogs, sew them mouth to hole

holes is a book by louis sachar

so push me in the street, sexually hit me with your car

joker mode hero omori is my no-doubles kin

necro sunny’s mom and drive him to a love inn

snowdin inn snows dick in sonic’s blue ass

spitroast him with four-score knuckles at an overpass

over the trash barrel fire flambee this pussy medium rare

while i get on my knees and then suck that pair

“their mouth’s name is nutcracker” sayeth all my bitches

kiss them on the mouth and then make you need stitches

painfully slow is our drive to the emergency rune

tell the doctor i bit off your balls to then better goon

sacrifice the doctor to the dark lord bakugou of the hunt

the rune summons him and make this pussy squirt go cunt cunt cunt

deku just got back from popeyes

his pussy squirt taste like blackened ranch, no surprise

whose last name will they take in the marriage?

i cast “turn into a baby” and put them both into a carriage

hey google, how do you do you a twelfth trimester abortion?

twelfth night but olivia feigns pregnancy to get an extra dinner portion

olivia literally turns into an olive for viola’s third martini

lockheed martin make my peach husband pee

piss is the only substance to calm this pussy squirt

fuck mountain dew we fucking anal to nine inch nails’ “hurt”

nine inch nail is the name of my penis

whip it right out while i’m in with the therapist

therapist slaps me and calls me unhinged

but all i want is to eat his minge

i twerk so hard, call it standing ovation

i kegel so hard i go into ovulation

i moan so hard they gave me antipsychotic medication

sex playlist tonight: dream of californication

chick-fil-a is right down the road from the loony bin

order a number fifteen, suck your toes and your chicken

therapist struggles to get a response

jon snow wants to go fuck that pussy of his aunt’s

silver pubes curl like olympic curling

the curlers self-fisting and serving darjeeling

assholes so gaping they fit the whole puck

autistic breakdancer stim while we fuck

therapist fails me eighteen to zero

canceled with napalm: do you feel like a hero?

military industrial complex but as a kink

pick up a military wife and ply her with drink

crack her pussy open like a can of white claw

shake her till she blow and break domestic terror law

yank her tab down like i’m william afton in a game of saw

spray her all over my gaping fucking maw

after i’m done i’m gonna make her go gone girl

spray her neck all over like steven universe pearl

cosplaying amethyst in a paw patrol outfit

sew up my therapist, make him eat my shit

human centipede’s gonna make the red list

but all cops are bastards with an iron fist

one reams my therapist and he moans in my ass

the other gives me a shovel and points me to the grass

i dig us a grave camp green lake style

would’ve preferred sunny mom car at a minute a mile

my personal heaven is chick-fil-a

my therapist eats my leftover chick-fil-a

Chapter Text

nail shawty against the wall like she jesus christ

drain her side with my spear while she sucks my 8 ft cross

playing with the arm bars; the head bar is my taint

she’s fingering that too eyes on the prize 1st place gets a prostate trophy

roll a boulder in front of shawty like she jesus christ

lock her in darkness all weekend while the empire cries

i return to the scene of my crime; i bow down towards mecca

but it’s actually the boulder her giant child bearing cube full of jellyfish

slurp shawty’s fluids off the ground like she jesus christ

take her information with my tongue and convert dna into knowledge

within these sanguine pamphlets; i have been tricked

there is no dna it’s actually that one paul verse about killing gays

kill gays in shawty’s name like she jesus christ

drag her narrative out for four thousand years

aliens make contact but recoil; we’re horny but they’re not

they raze the planet to the ground and build a museum to our sinful folly

haunt zeta-83 and her family like she jesus christ

rile her visitors and investors with my twerking ghost asscheeks

i can’t find my bones in the bone vault; zeta-83 didn’t curate them

my blood read multitudes and it came from my bones and it’s unread

heat death of the universe go like it jesus christ

nobody even remembers that name anymore

trillions of uncurated ghosts; we pass the time with strip poker

until the universe finally implodes and hits alt-f4, an unsaved word doc

Chapter Text

“take my love, move in to my place

nobody from class will notice with luck

i’ll wear a condom whenever we fuck”

i lied to you once before, my jayce

“take my seed and grow a baby

i’ll pat your hexy belly and moan and coo

your alpha’s here for his omega true”

i lied to you twice before, my jaybe

but now i think your bussy slams for free

take this chair and have a seat

you’ll get expelled for trying to cheat

first on this test, and now on me

you know what to do with that noxian whore

take this knife and make me yours

and when you’re done you’ll do your chores

and ill tuck you in and then you’ll snore

but before that there's still your mommies

they’ll never agree to see us wed

take this gun and make your bed

so adoption and marriage will go without jinx

but even so you still fail this class

zero tolerance for cheating after all

take this knotted dick and suck my singular ball

and maybe, just maybe, ill fuck your hextech ass

redo this curriculum in summer school

and make loads and loads of extra credit

and squeeze out my loads till again you're pregnant

take those eggs and cook them with trillions of arcane joule

your bussy is my one true green eggs and ham

pour that shimmer and serve your spawn

but now that your omelets are all gone

take this expel slip and go see the principal slam

all i wanted was your eggs

scrambled, poached, fried, and raw

at the end of the day, you broke general kiramman’s law

i never want again to see your bare legs

and be warned, my princess

my little scooby snack

my beautiful babeyboy

principal heimerdinger likes eggs too

he’s going to strum you like a banjo

Chapter Text

the code of slammurabi wraps around

the neck of every whore and john nearby;

to hang while hung within the gallows crowned

the king and queen of pad and also thai;

the book of cooteronomy claims the cum

of all the ahl al-fatrah of thy land;

to sing of jizya bucket jizz inbound

from flood of blood to sum the bank thirdhand;

an eye per eye, recant, a bum per bum?

a rod for rod, decant, a scye for scye?

construct this ark and row through floods of squirt

and endless menstrual flows of roes and hurt

from certain death, fair trade with mad all-mum.

          ;

art thou osama- or osana-kin?

thou wench, ʻohana means to leave each not;

camus, obama, stirring, frying, in

the yellow curry, twain their lives are squat;

montresor-baka, stress my wretchèd soul

so mort-less iris sees me challenged nigh;

else panic shall attack my sack and snot

shall fly and fail eleventh month’s dear vie;

but hark! thy jizya flizz is dry by poll!

how stark! they shan’t the sherry nor the gin

take taste or paste the stones around themselves

to let me take the lodge in fours and twelves

to set me cure my wife with black god’s swole.

          say abra, dabra, dab on flavored pen,

          but words and gestures don’t thy rules amen;

Chapter Text

his balls go hard like it a lemonade stand

he sells his fresh lemon juice at the lemonade stand

in jojo part eight he got a lemonade stand

his lemons in his eyes when he do a handstand

cut a slice, squeeze it in my earl gray tea

it don’t matter, he got more, call him fucking 三体

three-pronged slap on my ass, josuke looking cunty

and he be the one for me, call him barbara manatee

his mushroom in his drink when he do the hawk tuah

look my new twinks in the eyes when they do the hawk tuah

my ex stinking in the bear, eagle more like hawk tuah

at seven two do a flip sipping on that kahlua

but fuck it, we ball, imma ride my cunt down the maypole till then

and when he had given thanks

he broke it and said

this is my body that is for you

do this in remembrance of me

crypto to the moon soon to goon with a spoon

time for slime on mr mime to hammer climb

(at noon a new moon boon

          of lye dry-fried in tequila and lime)

sit on the face in space and mace jayce

this squirt gonna hurt, all curt in the dirt

(new third base pace with haste

          to flirt alert unhurt with delta bird)

rune’s wild, we’re riled, nothing mild, hex exiled

in moss prison laid, neither name paid, call it gay’d, fishy ACAB stayed

(carlisle called, guile paused, mile

          till the [commemorative] maid okayed ixnay arcane fae)

but fuck it, we ball, imma ride my cunt down the stake till then

in the same way he took the cup also

after supper saying

this cup is the new covenant in my blood

do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me

put my balls in your jaw while you under lock and key

stroke your cock through the rusty iron of chastity

antivaxmaxx, lockjaw when you suck me till i pee

directions unclear, gerald’s dick will start to bleed

become one person, call it fucking centipede

absolutely no regrets, this shit is based and fucking keyed

annihilation hit, genetics dissolve in the mead

we a soft fleshy thing, your soul the only thing i need

possess the flower child, golden pollen spread the seed

and then possess the errant nun, armless devil chronic steed

and then possess the impeached queen, eyes and heel and leg das lied

and then possess the canine witch, a sun is born for anal beads

these pussy lips be eating like reverse smile 2

spread them ‘round skye’s head till she fucking go moo

all the rojo crowd holler like the fauna at the zoo

moan harder when weiß babe just starts to fucking chew

schnee orgasm so hard, call it a motherfucking coup

stadium feels it too, call it a dancing plague in wu

warring kingdoms spread the meme, take a side my rosa boo

zipping up our fucking shell to take a decades nap in goo

but fuck it, we ball, imma ride our cunt down the cross till then

i thirst… it is finished

give everyone AIDs like it’s smile 3, or maybe it’s it follows 2

call that shit lemonAIDs the way they get it from the lemonade stand

but fuck it, we ball, imma ride my cunt down saṃsāra till then

eloi, eloi, lama sabachthani?

Chapter Text

babeygirl dick so big he gave me a assholectomy

slam me so hard it feel like a lobotomy

babeygirl dick so big he give my asshole a vasectomy

camming through it like a colonoscopy

babeygirl dick so big he give my asshole narcolepsy

cumming and passing out to the sweet sounds of symphony

babeygirl dick so big it’s a lorax truffula tree

hope no one chops it down before he removes my asshole from my body

babeygirl dick so big my asshole gets dementia

forgetting everything except how to make sencha

babeygirl dick so big it go oppa gangnam style

it hits the dab and kills eight people because it literally go a mile

babeygirl so big it watched joker in theaters opening night

made like rocky horror and moaned in the seats in open sight

babeygirl dick so big it’s a fucking nine iron

he’s triple bogey beating my ass to death in the sandpit

babeygirl dick so big it block out orion

overcast decade trigger a national weather alert

babeygirl dick so big my asshole went into recession

hitting it with sanctions and tariffs and class action lawsuits

blowing it like a whistle and then reporting insider trading

babeygirl dick so big it crashed the economy and triggered depression

where the fuck are we going to get money for more fursuits?

fuck, it crashed it again, give me the fucking wheel, this is degrading

babeygirl dick so big it changed the tides

on both earth and on jupiter’s moons

it put pluto, andromeda galaxy, and my pussy chakras in retrograde

babeygirl dick so big it’s making the sun supernova as it strides

earth (his dick) collapses like a sinkhole (my ass) below sand dunes

doomsday picketing with my commune, call it jared leto-grade

babeygirl dick so big it just crashed the economy a third time

babeygirl dick so big it come with two sides by default at popeyes

babeygirl dick so big it count as three entrees at panda express

babeygirl dick so big it would break taco bell’s menu

babeygirl dick so big it got sued by subway for being more than a foot

babeygirl dick so big it got sued by mcdonald’s for supersizing

it’s also getting sued by the mcdonald’s grandma for melting her uterus

babeygirl dick so big that some states classify it as a disability

and the states that don’t do so have banned it

and federal courts are trying to declare it unconstitutional

babeygirl dick so big it crashed the economy four fucking times

babeygirl dick so big it violates the geneva convention

it ruined peace talks with the moon aliens upon first mention

babeygirl dick so big he has to resort to crime to get by

but it can’t hide from the cops any better than a kid publicly high

babeygirl dick so big he violate house arrest no matter what

babeygirl dick so big he violate restraining orders no matter what

they put it on death row, but it was already there

he’s appealing it, but it’s so big it’s already in the electric chair

babeygirl dick so big it made me cum eight times in two minutes

it was so tasty and scrumptious and nutritious

it filled every food group on that dumbass triangle

it would have revolutionized the fad diet scam industry

but that was the past

babeygirl dick so big my asshole sobbed

it’s sobbing right now at the cemetery

i’m twerking in front of his grave and considering pulling a saltburn

or maybe i’ll pole dance that shit like i used to

but that was the past

babeygirl dick so big it six feet under and still sticking out

it’s a local landmark, beloved in the community, graffitied by punks

nuns make the sign of the cross as they pass

imams consider it a valid substitution for mecca during salah

rabbis redrew the isreali-palestinian border to accommodate it

witches use it as a maypole and their new may queens get giant boobs

babeygirl dick so big it inspired a new religious movement

it’s so loving and pure and motherfucking sexy

mainstream media doesn’t even call it a cult, it’s too sexy

i look up at babeygirl dick through a veil of tears

my vision blurs and doubles to two babeygirl dicks

babeygirl dicks be looking like the twin towers

i can imagine the plane from lost hitting it

and then the other plane from lost hitting it again

but now it is ruins and memorials and religious ferocity

i can imagine rebuilding plans like the church from lost

and then returning plans like the other church from lost

but nothing could ever replace the original in my heart

i wipe the tears and cum from my eyes and two become one

i give it a hug and a kiss on the tip

my hands couldn’t clasp and i needed a ladder

i ride it back down like a fireman’s pole

i pull a saltburn

i am my own 9/11-sona

his obituary is too short

his wikipedia page is unflattering

his life insurance policy didn’t pay out

i am my own 9/11-sona

the economy is healing

the planets are back in place

my asshole is lonely

i am my own 9/11-sona

i pull another saltburn on the way out

i commissioned a furry to construct a life-sized replica of babeygirl dick

i keep it in the attic with my three ex-husbands

we play clapping games over a rosebush

Chapter Text

song name: your honor, respectfully, eat my entire fucking ass

[refrain] x2

wicky, wicky, can’t you see

can’t you see, it’s what you need

can’t you see, it’s wicky wicky {airhorn}

wicky, wicky’s, what you need

[verse 1]

i gotta fess up, drinkin, chardonnay

i swear i mess up, like it, mesopoté

i knew that you lack that wicky wicky wow

but i mean shawty, babey, fuckin how?

chicababe you’re bein such a fuckin whore

wanted demi lovato but you're just like demi moore

i’m servin these bars like a service dog

i’m servin these papers like a divorce dog

[refrain] x16

[verse 2]

i got my pussy, slammed, for fuckin free

and now i file, fuckin, bankruptcy

this pussy was never 궁금해 democratic

it’s a fuckin dicktatorship, you absolute addict

babeyboy i’m gonna slam your balls in my basket

dribble them until we have to put them in a casket

i’m spreadin my legs like the gospel word

i’m spreadin your name like i’m amber heard

[refrain] x64

Chapter Text

i’m so hot and fucking sexy

you’re so not and fucking exy

call me gluttonous the way i ate

call you emaciated the way you didn’t

call me a waiter the way i’m serving

call you a runaway slave the way you’re not

i look you in the eyes and scream “get out”

you look me in the eyes and join the tsa

oh my god? i just imagined us having sex??

what the fuck??? it’s so awful i need drugs now????

three bitches snorting three lines off my three titties

zero bitches whoring you like it re:zero and you got no tits

call my penis pure cocaine

call your penis fentanyl overdose

i’d rather drink purple drank out of a septic tank than even touch you

benzos for bezos, i vored him five minutes ago

ordering a gun on amazon so i can kill you

choose prime day for the coupon and also to stress out the workers less

ordering a gun on uber eats without leaving a tip

i did not care for the godfather

your pussy insists upon itself

your pussy look like peter griffin

my pussy look like longstocking yiffin

your pussy taste like i have ebola

my pussy taste like pepsi cola

call me end of evangelion the way i’m gonna kill you

call you rebuild of evangelion the way you’re fucking pathetic

my pussy big like nagisa kaoru

your pussy incel like miki kaoru

you’re such a fucking hoe that カウになる

that’s right bitch you’re fucking inanimate now

gonna turn you into a rose toy

gonna hire a shabbat goy to turn you on

but not in terms of arousal because you don’t deserve it

my penis big like a lead zeppelin

your penis small like led zeppelin

i can’t imagine willingly listening to led zeppelin

going on spotify and blocking led zeppelin

hire metallica to intimidate led zeppelin

led zeppelin, go to sleep

led zeppelin, go home

companion led zeppelin’s favorite candy is the peep

xbox led zeppelin is afraid of garden gnome

call an uber at just the right time and place such

that it runs you over like the band her’s

my pussy good like her’s

your pussy dead like her’s

baby if you know what’s right then let me stab you

she (that is, me) needs him (that is, you) to let me shoot you

i will never fuck you with my low beam or give you a low ream

i’m so fucking hot and sexy

you’re so fucking not and exy

trixie tang is my waifu

when seele wins i’m gonna turn you into tang and drink you

Chapter Text

they sued my ass for pussy slam for free

“competes unfair,” court order on my cunt

they 8uy me out, re8rand with prices set

takeover hostile 8ut they keep me on

they fired my ass for pussy slam for free

“against the rules,” pink slip for roguish stunt

8ut my IP is still their pliant pet

and noöne wants a “hole once known 8ut gone”

this pussy prince now flees to purple sea

the gratis pussy au gratin is key

8 legs, sept chattes, six sisters ink in glee

8ut spills spell doom, i’m 8lamed just like 8P

          8ut f8 is fair, i steal their light for me

they sued my ass for pussy on the shore

“that slick’s so deadly,” so i dive to dark

p sherman asks my ro8ot hand with ring

and faggot chaser nemo wants my tail

they creep me out, redive for 8etter whore

“my ex’s cousin?” kiss her like ned stark

her cousin’s 8oy seems useful to 8e king

to hekki allmo, gold to red, fill pail

and afterward i motor8oat my crip

and shove his face right on my fucking nip

and roleplay tinker 8ell x peter’s hip

and charge him not a dime for slam the tip

          8ut fair is f8, nigh is his next cliff trip

so hear my hekki allmo sphere to square

they chase and chase, 8ut all shall see me twerk

so hear my hekki allmo hair to hair

they cannot keep me from my sacred work

          so hekki allmo six to one may 8e

          8ut f8 is f8, her grace must slam for free

Chapter Text

kegel on that bottle of champagne

make it rain like mount vesuvius

mount the corpse of liam payne

oughta make me lugubrious

my legumes foamed up like my man zayn

he makes my bitches fergalicious

hitch fergie on my sled from citizen kane

drag her rosebud ass three miles till she suspicious

call it among us and vote me out again

crew hangs me with an iron chain

the chains catch on each other

we stare at each other

cersei starts kissing her brother

shannon starts kissing her step-brother

call it a stepladder the way i’m still hanging here

someone coughs awkwardly

call this pussy a chain link fence

call it that metal thing they put on prosecco

call this pussy vote for mike pence

call it that butt plug that makes his moans echo

call this pussy game of thrones mance

call it a voter coalition the way it storm your capital with el shreko

call this pussy an ogre romance

call up fiona, her 1st hubby, and her 2nd hubby (me), they’re all invited

call this pussy a bottle opener

call this pussy “arcane champagne: the story

of how my pussy uncorked a champagne

bottle and got fucked by ekko”

call this pussy a barbed wire fence

call it a muselet

that breaks the rhyme scheme

and i’m STILL fucking hanging there

the crewmates play cock pussy syzygy to see who gets to suck my toes

they lower me 1 ft and take turns going thigh deep like a bunch of hoes

turns out all of them were imposters and now all i want is cheerios

i make this known and one of them puts a bowl on a pole and holds it up

i feel like jesus of nazareth eating his stale bread and and his rusty cup

speaking of which, i feel my muscles start freezing due to chain’s rust

today i learned that balsamic vinegar is made almost exclusively of must

i’m getting vaguely irked by the feeling of 6 rows of teeth on my thighs

it’s okay though, i won’t complain

me when the eeby deeby pussy categorically does not slam for cheap

me when that price is way too fuckin steep

me when it's literally cheaper to buy gas

me when somehow the pussy is cheaper than ass

me when the ass metaphorically slams for a fortune

me when the metaphor is that the fortune is a literal looney tune

where the fuck do i get daffy duck?

he died, i can literally see him hanging from an unjammed chain

should have been that stupid yellow bird, i hate that little bitch

merlot rhymes with toe, hoe, and free show

pinot noir rhymes with mason jar

zinfandel rhymes with petroleum jel’ and richard hell

chardonnay rhymes with james charles if you shorten it to char’

(no it doesn’t, you have to add an -s)

cabernet sauvignon rhymes with 1 2 3 that’s how i pee

(no it doesn’t)

1 2 3 rhymes with that’s how i pee

(yes it does)

1 2 3

that’s how i fucking pee

4 5 6

there’s a cyanide and happiness short where the restaurant serves dicks

7 8 9

it’s time to fucking dine

10 11 12

inside me you will delve

the imposters are literally just fucking each other at this point

is someone gonna unhang me or like try to finish the job or something?

i know they all have glocks so it’s not like it would take much effort

honestly idc, still thinking about the implication that jesus ate a cup

cum chalice

made of malice

in a patreon palace

it’s like alice

fell up through a rabbit hole

into a knoll

place without soul

ordered and droll

her home is the mad one this time

she has to navigate a perfect utopia this time

nothing but bureaucracy and numbers this time

the final shape but less salt this time

the next yansim update will include

a tie in with destiny 2 where your

next target is the literal witness

themself and they’ve decided to

stim on senpai for some reason this time

could one ever make a pie made of sin?

the next deltarune chapter will

include a minigame where kris and

suzie are the ones who make

the butterscotch cinnamon pie to

give toriel a long waited break where

she’ll literally bust it down sexual style this time

it’ll be with rudy

rudy is playing the both of them

the dreemurrs divorced because asgore cheated

now toriel is getting back at asgore by messing with his boyfriend

but rudy is actually a gold digging whore stealing all of their money

why else is asgore getting evicted?

all he needs is an only fans

all he needs is pots and pans

cooking stream but buck-ass naked

remember that scene where tyrion talks about making the bald man cry?

cersei ate that soup

cersei ate

cooking stream with careful angles

camerawork that makes you strangle

never ever see his goat cock

i could have shortened that to gock but i’m not sure i like mtf asgore hc

oh yeah, what about mtf toriel hc

oh yeah

never ever taste what he’s cooking

only ever provided looking

unlike what the imposters are doing

they’re getting handsy as fuck with each other

but to be fair if they were streaming it right now

then it would still be all look no touch

it’s all about where you’re sitting and i have a front row “seat”

the lockjaw has since moved to my literal jaw

is it valid to want to fuck the jaws shark?

is it valid to never know where to park?

is it valid to want to publicly execute tony stark?

is it valid to bite my thumb at the passing lark?

is it valid to wish that the sea bested jonah’s ark?

is it valid to kin the tomb in the gospel of mark?

is it valid to kin the sword that beheaded rickard karstark?

is it more valid to hark or to bark?

none of these have answers, i literally can’t move anymore

not that it matters

the orgy devolved into a shootout

all the imposters are mutually dead

but hey at least they were all sensually bred

in any case it’s just me and daffy duck now

oh and also donald duck

i don’t know how i didn’t notice him before

they put him on a cross

i stare at him for a few minutes before i notice that he’s still breathing

i wish the duck from don’t hug me i’m scared were real

i wish i had his stupid british commentary around me at all times

i wish i could ask him what death is like

i wish i could ask him politely to have sex with me

i wish i could turn him down and gaslight him into thinking he asked me

i wish he could hit me with a flyswatter and call me a bee

i wish he were actually named david

i wish he were even stupider and even more egotistical

i wish he had a canon confirmed insecurity that his false ego conceals

wait, i think i actually just wish berdly existed

i wish berdly and dhmis duck had embarrassingly awkward gay sex

i wish i could move

hours pass

i’ve begun to foam at the mouth, but that’s fine

i know it’s nothing to worry about so i just imagine björk twerking

donald stirs on his cross

he blinks his eyes open and sees me

deliriously, he begins,

“we are hereing

we are unseen except in dying starlight

it tapestries a frame, it frames a wall

it dusts shaping wall, we dust shaping frame, they shape dusting tapestry

a place card heres a microwave, a place card shapes dust

a thread frays, a leaf oranges, a tree crystals, a rock dusts

there is a god and a god and a god, and a god

it is unthereing, it is hereing, it heres and heres and heres, and heres

it sees a bank shaping economy, a cloud shaping cloud, a tree unshaping

it sees a branch on the ground, it sees it shaping brown

it is dirt, it is fire, it is ash, it is advertisement

it sees words and it hears signs, it shapes brown

light dangerously emits

it perceives light far more dangerously

woodpeckers are and it woodpeckers, it shapes brown

the woodpecker shapes conversion, unseen except in this light

it sees conversion, unseen never

it converts, it unsums, it shapes brown

conversion unshapes summation, summation unshapes sight

a lilypad is both hereing and thereing”

he awaits a response, so i reply,

“a cock is hereing, a hand is grasping, they are shaping”

dissonance

two days later, i watch him die

two centuries later, i watch myself calcify

it evokes nothing

i continue to hang

Chapter Text

i write to mojang every day

          (i write to mojang every day)

to say how much for creeper toes i’d pay

to beg for steve to suck them gay

          (i write to mojang every day)

and yet to me there’s no reply

          (and yet to me there’s no reply)

so then in chastity on the bed i lie

so then all i can do is edge and cry

          (i write to mojang every day)

          (and yet to me there’s no reply)

i hug my alex pillow every night

          (i hug my alex pillow every night)

and imagine a life guided by her light

and dream of a place without mommy’s spite

          (i hug my alex pillow every night)

but then my love is gatekept away

          (but then my love is gatekept away)

mommy sells my wife for $10 on ebay

mommy sends me to camp to not be gay

          (i hug my alex pillow every night)

          (but then my love is gatekept away)

i write to mojang from my camp

          (i write to mojang from my camp)

to say how little hole we stamp

to say how we can never be damp

          (i write to mojang from my camp)

and notch himself knocks on the door

          (and notch himself knocks on the door)

he calls the counselors “fucking whore”

he hugs me and whispers unreleased lore

          (i write to mojang from my camp)

          (and notch himself knocks on the door)

i wrote to mojang every day

and yet to me was no reply

i hugged my alex pillow every night

but then my love was gatekept away

i wrote to mojang from my camp

and notch himself knocked on the door

i stay a week at his house,

lick his cock like i’m in candy store,

find his personal copy of mein kampf,

and flee like a mouse

they should add mice to minecraft

i’ll write to mojang about that

          (every day)

          (no reply)

Chapter Text

wicky wicky saved my life

wicky wicky killed my strife

you yanked my pussy out of socket

what you said was out of pocket

          thou dost diss my wicky wicky

          thou dost not make my pants sticky

wicky wicky’s FBI

wicky wicky’s gorgeous eye

you zapped her out of eeby deeby

they want to chop thy sycamore tree

          i won’t stop that wicky wicky

          the iron maiden’s wet like nikki

nikki minaj is the lord of my heart

alohomoras this bussy and takes me apart

takes me on walks in the public park

beheading my cock like it eddard stark

          game of thrones wicky is all that i need

          go fuck your sister and weaken the seed

nikki minaj has been flung into red

alohomora her head and seed becomes dead

our fusion will never stuff cunt with cheesecake

she’ll fade from our memory and never earfquake

          thy fucking wicky doth taste like creamed corn

          no longer shall you costar in my porn

so shawty, in summary

get thee to a nunnery

something wicky this way cums

and seeing you, i take three tums

          no longer play upon this flute

          else i shall make this whole point moot

balls’ names: jesse and james

blast off trailing fucking flames

protect thy dick from devastation

peaking mice spark protestation

          no longer ream upon this rocket

          now put this hole stone in your pocket

eat thy pussy with a fork and a knife

carve up your body and divorce thy life

coraline beldam is my kin

take out my needle and shove it right in

          sew buttons on your eyes like you’re harry potter

          avada kedavra thy pussy like th’art harry potter

surgically change your species to rowling

sequel to tusk but the transphobes be howling

put thee in a jar like you’re rita skeeter

skeet skeet in the jar and say “i’ll eat her”

          let thy ass boil like rainbow dash

          cook you some cupcakes like rainbow dash

wicky wicky killed my ex

wicky wicky sucked my necks

you blew the dandy seeds at me

thou camest downstairs to set me free

          thy knife in hand belies your gucci

          i stabbed you back without 相槌

wicky wicky’s soul came back

wicky wicky sells me crack

th’art banned from my body

ne’er another autistic shawty

          this train car's where i wrap your bod

          my love was ne’er thy mommy god, yuh

Chapter Text

girlboss pussy slam, slams for free

in shrek super slam, for the ps3

girlboss puss in boots, wearing jorts

in shrek the third, his ass contorts

girlboss pussy slay, like lightning mcqueen

in need for speed carbon, for the android screen

girlboss pussy slay, like secret agent mater

in life is strange 1, a memorial crater

fired

alyx vance, mayhaps, perchance

alex minecraft’s naenae dance

daily bread that’s daily bred

sipping bailey’s in that creative garden shed

queerly query: “is that my chicken sandwich?”

sighed reply: “shut the fuck up, bitch

i’ll make my pussy slam for free

code that shit in plus plus c

whiskey dick for this lua chick

chugging caffe corretto writing javascript

this avant garde pussy gonna blow your mind

it gonna be charged with war crimes for experimenting on your behind

this motherfucking pussy is avant garde

you’re such a fucking pleb for never getting hard

this fuckingmother pussy is garde avant

you’re such a fucking poseur for not ordering the coq au vin

grilled cheese pussy with a side of rice

found a hair in my sandwich and ended up with lice

parmesan pussy on the pepperoni pussy

pizzaria pussy gonna hit like a lesbian banksy

‘pussy pussy pussy’ is what we call lasagna

pussy kick the bitch, my pipe’s full of that ganja

ratatouille pussy fuck like ra-ta-tat bat

rattata and golbat gonna call you fat

call it coq au vin cock, pour le vin from le coq

health inspection gave us a B, i think it stands for bee movie

or maybe it’s because of the rats and bats in the kitchen

and the part where we pour wine out of dicks

and the lice in the sandwich

hold on, what was wrong with your sandwich again?”

to be fair, they should have ordered the coq au vin

fired

eat that pussy like a molten lava cake

$12 at chili’s like a molten lava cake

slap it in the oven like a molten lava cake

          get diabetes from the molten lava cake

eat that pussy like chocolate chip cookie dough

mix that shit up like chocolate chip cookie dough

new cookie run tumblr sexyperson like chocolate chip cookie dough

          get diabetes from the chocolate chip cookie dough

eat your kung pao pussy go into anaphylactic shock

choke on your kung pao penis like its anaphylactic shock

go to kung pao paper towns, capital of anaphylactic shock

          get diabetes from your anal philandering cock

pussy so yeasty it rise in the oven

yeezy so wussy in AHS coven

pussy taste just like honey nut cheerios

          get diabetes from the honey nut cheerios

nut in the honey like it’s honey nut cheerios

          get diabetes from the nut in the honey nut cheerios

nut the viscosity of honey like it lesbian bear storm

          get diabetes from the lesbian bear storm

          get diabetes from the orb in my ass

          get diabetes from the rod in my breast

          get diabetes from the child broiler

fired

kefka palazzo!!! KFC matzo man!!!

oooh massa, parley in the can!!!

i’m fucking the waitress in the dumpster out back!!!

CEO resigned!!!

“sorry, ma’am, our kentucky fried chicken don’t slam for free

you gotta pay for a combo or at least a la carte

no, even if you know the colonel, the payment’s not waived

who the motherfuck is gonna get our paychecks paved?

where the motherfuck did you hear that fast food is an art?

when the motherfuck do you think i get to pee?

when the motherfuck are they adding coq au vin to the menu?”

fired

i can fit a john deere tractor in my fucking vagina

getting charged with sedition in northern carolina

fired

Chapter Text

song name: 궁금해 is a lifestyle, and step one is incest

[verse 1]

call yo mama pussy long island iced tea

in the state of california, it can’t slam for free

i ate yo mama’s ass in the back of a jeep

it takes a lotta heat to make her leaves steep

whisk her like matcha, drive into her breast

on the jeep radio: a tribe called quest

gonna make like georgie and defile her porgie

call her cleopatra: sarcophagus orgy

see her true form and go motherfuckin blind

convince that bitch god to write me fistin her behind

“y yo a ti, cas” while i step on the gas

park in super hell, they playin operatic jazz

light her on fire like i’m eleanor shellstrop

repopulate the hive like i’m eleanor shellstrop

suck yo mama’s clit like a motherfuckin insect

and you’re my stepbro so i guess that’s- {moan}

[hook] x2

call you a stepladder the way i climb above

gonna beat you at freud, she fit like a glove

you’ll release the doves at our motherfuckin wedding

this is what it’s like when doves cry in the bedding

[verse 2]

call yo mom a dove the way she servin cunt

poultry on my plate, chain smoked like a blunt

barbeque her ass like i’m edward scissorhands

she swang around the pole while i’m throwin these bandz

her pussy forty acres, need a compass and a map

make that a hundred, wake winnie from his nap

spitroast yo mama with honey boo boo bear

take off my mask on a loopy doo doo dare

give her my honey and my AIDs and my COVID

and email you the link to our borderline snuff vid

i sneeze into her coochie and it fly out her mouth

close the video, from here it go south

we be eatin bats like xi jinping

we be goin back in time like xi jinping

we gettin off the menu because we the black swan

we also gonna stop grimes from meetin- {coughing fit}

[hook] x2

call you a stepladder the way you’re fallin off

gonna beat you at freud, kill you with a cough

obituary’ll misspell your name as XÆ

this is what it’s like when doves steal your meth stash

[verse 3]

call yo mama’s pussy long island iced tea

shove my cock in her tail and make her pee

throw her shit in the shaker and pour her for a swiftie

call that folklore when i go and press nifty

call yo mama petscop the way she’s confusin

but when dementia hit it’s gonna get amusin

windmill her cunt on the way to the school

a thousand pussy pieces form a pool for the tool

take her upstairs for show and tell

treat her like a hoe, get saved by the bell

flood her pussy school like she donnie darko

burn her pussy caffè like her pseudonym margot

eat yo mama’s pussy like a motherfuckin s’more

roast and toast this gooey chocolate whore

“is yo grandma black?” in that coraline scene

but you have no answer, you’re too busy suckin- {scream}

[hook] x2

call you a stepladder the way you stuck in the clos’

gonna beat you at freud, now go back to oz

see blanchard in hell, he’ll diagnose brain maggots

this is what it’s like when doves eat motherfuckin {bleep}

[bridge]

now suck my hippo dick but i have some confessions

when i fucked yo mama, i had a lot of questions

so drive the cable car, it’s ada’s force femme machine

i just wanna be your motherfuckin queen

make me your uke and i’ll guzzle your semen

and then we’ll get around to motherfuckin reamin

break my fuckin ankles like it’s killin stalkin

you’re gonna fuck my ass until i’m motherfuckin squawkin

[hook] x4 (fade out)

call you a stepladder the way i use you all the time

gonna frustrate freud, our love is a crime

rearrange my insides and then cuddle in our bed

this what oedipus should have done instead

Chapter Text

}(so thou shalt serve for life for serving cunt

for swerving left and right the hunty strut

rotating pussy on that nightmare blunt

revealing yellow dreams of hedgerat smut

so thou shalt piss thy pants before the crowd

and miss thy dance upon the public screen

to paint the fem’nist farce that thou endowed

to add the tina hououin thought unclean

so thou shalt retcon veggies via text

or don the meaty shades without thy eg

or shed the smoking antlers gaia hexed

or cook his womb-laid eggs and m his preg

          [but thou shalt not the deposition read

          for thy fat pussy shan’t be ever freed)

          four score shall pass without a witness seen

          vore more in secret county jail obscene

          but thou dost think this prison wrapped inverse

          with gaga’s parasocial girls apt curse

          with chalice princess’ pearls betray the thot

          withheld by kurokos in myths of naught

          and thou dost crave false freedom not at all

          unmoved by planless cuffs to letter’s gall

          unmoved by hexahanded books and names

          unsoothed by liquid glass with cults and trains

                    {so thou shalt serve for life for serving cunt

                    for change could not have tamed that baelor stunt]

Chapter Text

i wish your fucking pussy fucking slammed for free

you got a steward up your ass like park min-gi

let me take you to my house, i promise it’s not vore

i’m gonna change your number to spell out “whore”

i wish your fucking pussy did not slam for free

you have no self-respect like ryan akagi

let me take you to this mirror, i promise no slivers

your number’s longer than your dick and it gives me the shivers

fuck this traverse world for kidnapping my boy

궁금해 fairy queen tried to make me a goy

get back and boytoy think gamer princess slam for free

find another queen and she smell like gamer pee

fuck the fucking world? make that shit literal

center of the world to find her gaia clitoral

boytoy too busy fucking flexing his quads

burger king tulpagängers ganging up on the odds

my body is a temple and you’re worshipping false idols

the wall of jericho stands to briefly prevent our bridals

but you refuse to cross and make an eastern western state

mess with your sister and merge us with hate

my pussy is a religion and you’re preaching heresy

the berlin wall falls and calls for more hennessey

but you burned your red cord and flashed your cold turkey

wash up on the shore, hospi-tall’ing your own beef jerky

this pussy is a service animal, use it fucking cripple

fairy8oy, meet my autistic auspistice, oh 8a8ey fucking triple

i’m lady godiva, pussy divah, drowning my brother knight

i wanted those elephants to trumpet his carousel kite

this size queen gonna downsize, liquidate my cunt

spend gold on some company, serve cunt on a 404 hunt

8ut my elev8or pussy run from 8asement to the roof

8lood on the tracks, your number 8n’t upskirt my keyhole boof

Chapter Text

twerking half dead on the back of a moving cybertruck

(covered in blood)

i hit ten trillion views and yet daddy elon don’t wanna fuck

(covered in blood)

run that bitch through a car wash and make that warranty out of luck

(covered in blood)

rebound to oculus vr chat and get charged with セクハラ den herr zuck

(covered in blood)

threaten to dip him in muck

(covered in blood)

threaten to make him and elon suck

(covered in blood)

make them all hot glued and eeby deeby stuck

(covered in blood)

make them drink my blood, get lemonAIDs, and turn into a duck

(covered in blood)

one duck, the same being

(covered in blood)

it’s like steven universe

(except there’s no steven and i’m completely covered in blood)

elzuck duck hate my pussy ejaculate

(puddle of mud)

she think none of its aspects could ever be immaculate

(puddle of mud)

ever since she fused together she’s become so emasculate

(puddle of mud)

i wanna make cette 골반 épais-là umbraculate

(puddle of mud)

but even now she’s still denying my advances avunculate

(puddle of mud)

will never satisfy my endless and vaguely pitiful needs testiculate

(puddle of mud)

look at the wet stain around me, my balls are blue, my cock is geniculate

(puddle of mud)

i flee testudinate, golden ratio from her glare, breathing siphunculate

(puddle of mud)

she fucking hates me

(puddle of mud)

why did i adopt her as my niece specifically?

(but i still can’t breathe through this viscous puddle of mud)

cuttle bi fish, scuttle by fish, cuddle the shish, guddle the bitches

(on a platter)

μα μου φεύγοντας ἀποθέωσις bli flådd amid jumbo shrimps sans hitches

(on a platter)

purposeful mocking femoids or kuuderesque back-swinging pitches

(on a platter)

more fish in the sea to see me fishing for abercrombie & fitches

(on a platter)

fleeing feasting femmes fatales, terran eyes meet aquatic ditches

(on a platter)

raw food is a delicacy in these parts, among these witches

(on a platter)

humans surrounding once-s, an exception rises in riches

(on a platter)

before her i’m served, she the victim of my errant glitches

(on a platter)

i deadname my eeby deeby niece twice

(on a platter)

she chews my head in her duck bill many more times than that

(such that i am no longer on a platter)

that denying bitch was actually my cruxite artifact

(climb that echeladder)

enter my session and try to finish her act

(climb that echeladder)

jump off the roof of the sushi restaurant, my dreamself intact

(climb that echeladder)

run into my denizen unarmed, it spits me onto my quest bed and i refract

(climb that echeladder)

a godtiered page of time, 死在閃避我的手手 to my unending إِحْبَاط

(climb that echeladder)

oy vey güey, elzuck-sprite refuses to react

(climb that echeladder)

rebound with the black king, grind my ass like a scratch construct

(climb that echeladder)

immortally drift this ruin, a cuttlefish and an anatine ectobimbo

(and also oprah winfrey, prince of space, she climbed that echeladder)

floating in the void, i reread my cybertruck warranty

elzuck-sprite sighs

i ask her what in the fuck her problem is

“me pariste pero no eres mi padre, ni siquiera eres mi pinche tío real, literal estás apenas una fucking jibia, ¿tienes una verga? no, ciertamente no, ¿cómo me ibas a chingar? ¿sin verga? y por cierto no tengo una verga ni una panocha tampoco, elegiste no darme ninguna; te odio a la puta chingada y te mataría si sea posible; vete al inferno, pero ya estamos allá, ¿верно?”

i don’t speak spanish, i ignore her and fantasize about my old cybertruck

her name was the right honorable samantha jean-jacques-pierre, esquire

eventually oprah kills the three of us

just deaths for all and for all a good night

and by good night i mean continue to drift in dream bubbles

i don’t have my warranty booklet anymore, it didn’t follow us

i find misty quigley in one of the bubbles

i try to flirt with her and she denies me too

he denies me again after i turn him into an eeby deeby goose

the conspiracist nuts will be pissed in their nuts

it was not gay frogs and pigeon drones but trans birds and genesis jones

(everything is covered in blood)

Chapter Text

i am your whore forevermore

i bounce that dick until it sore

but if my pussy slams for free

with no commerce at all to see

am i really your queen and you my pimp

or are you just a lowly simp?

there is something intriguing about brute force

in choking on your massive cock of horse

but if you are truly out of my control

and i am nothing but your gaping hole

then how could i know that this is sane

when there's no line between unbearable orgasm and sweet pain?

i want to suck on your fucking toes

and you want to bite my double d hoes

but if all you care about is milk

my threats of stinging spanks and apologies of swaddling silk

does that change if i am secretly your mother by blood

or will the witch hunt push and drown us in the mud?

at what league do you charge for hockey? one could go ask yoshida saki

what is the line between rape and jape? one could go ask severus snape

is it incest if you did not know? one could go ask john snow

sometimes it truly is unclear; but this time open your fucking ear

so long lost son and sexy bod

i know it is hard but good fucking god

i have to charge you for this sex

and set a safeword, fuck your flex

and maybe just maybe stop calling me mommy

or else i’ll report you as a commie

Chapter Text

womb is barren, hair of karen

yank it in the ruins of this sept

skills as a mother inept

we’re fucking on the ashes of your first son and daughter in law

alternate universe: what if you didn’t kin jigsaw?

our forbidden love was much sexier when everyone wasn’t dead

but hey, sister queen, let me give you head

until you scream like a dragon

bone(r) is hard, jacketing lard

ride it in the unfelt freezing snow

could never tell his brother no

unwilling to be present past this future killing loop

alternate universe: what if you didn’t turn hm scientist to gloop?

our forbidden love was much sexier when time was linear

but hey, brother solipsist, may nothing to you be clear

except my gallons of ectocum

cunt defrosting, icicles cling

lick them in this castle of ice

make me sing of sugar and spice

running away was never an option

alternate universe: what if my genes weren’t a cursed concoction?

our forbidden love was much sexier when you didn’t know the cold

but hey, sister princess, would that you were so bold

as to break my permafrost cervix

soul of nightmares, head of few hairs

swaddle you in a eucharistic crib

throttle me in a crucificial scar to see my sister’s face glib

staring and drooling whenever you pee

alternate universe: what if my stalker got over me?

our forbidden love was much sexier as a plan for the future

but hey, son messianic, that ice cold stone is a suture

to make this ghussy corporeal

weather dreary, pussies weary

bake aphrodisiacs into your dulces

wake the whole family no matter what she says

flood the whole house with diluvian pussy squirt

alternate universe: what if eating your fresh cookie also hurt?

our forbidden love was much sexier as a three-way prophecy

but hey, sister saint, our bed and surrounding village will be messy

as above, so a hoe

your sex is trash, balls taste like ash

gargle them in this burning pizzeria

give the robots gonorrhea

including the one containing my dead sister

alternate universe: what if you had just kissed her?

our forbidden love was much sexier when we weren’t both zombies

but hey, father kismesis, squirt all your agonies

into my rotting corpse asshole

gender unclear, rogue against seer

my parent or child or cousin or twin?

shall i suck on your candy or shall you shove your meat in?

though you're sharing with my dog, it’s the white woman curse

alternate universe:

our forbidden love was much sexier within the same reference   

but hey, whoever you are, let us claim our narrative omnipresence

and bust it down bisexual style

Chapter Text

more is less? less is more

close that goddamn fucking door

you always act like such a whore

fucking you is like a chore

down the range they’re yelling “fore”

golf balls gonna fucking soar

they fall and splash upon this shore

of squirt cascading on the floor

less is more? more is less

compliment my fucking dress

it makes me feel like delta dess

so i beat gaster at dress to impress

in the school they’re yelling “yes”

          through that noose god fucking bless

                    waifu ralsei drinks mike hess

                              fuck her on that board we call chess

waterboarding is my kink

so hold my head under the sink

call it flint, this shit is pink

the only way our hearts might link

call the popo you a twink

only bears can make me ink

they touch the butt till we in sync

grieving nemo with my shrink

waterboarding going pro

get me soaked from head to toe

pushed in the lake along with cho

so goddamn wet call me a hoe

but i can’t breathe through dripping eaux

          i die and come to at a show

                    in the room they come and go

                              talking of singer d’angelo

me when i

• wear three cowboy hats stacked on each other
• talk in an obviously fake cowboy accent
• drive a ram on 69% apr
• use said ram to run over gay people
• only eat at chipotle mexican grill
• and sometimes also wendy’s
• and denny’s too but only when drunk
• and chic-fil-a after killing gays
• want to fuck björk

post a tweet to hit on björk

she streams and says that i should twerk

get on my knees and get to work

look at vc, she’s gone with dirk

dirk bro strider’s high on perc

invents some brand new typing quirk

i watch his stream and start to smirk

björk just goons in his bloody cirque

deleting twitter, looking stylish

dropping björk to hit on eilish

make her drink some drugged up chai ‘lish

drop her in a saw trap skyless

mr kramer roasts on my shish

billie eats canny kebab dish

cures her brain makes her all smilish

she dumps me at the met gala because i’m tieless

          and apparently

                    there was a fucking dress-code

                              and she never bothered to tell me

and now

1. i declare war against eeby deeby
2. eeby deeby no longer slams for free
3. we’re tariffing that
4. bring your ration card or you starve

шышмэм-ен wicky wicky

thy kin is fucking kaoru miki

шышмэм wicky эксымсас

thou and i, i’ll invoke quus

шышмэм-ен eeby deeby

sex with thee makes me all sleepy

шышмэм eeby burger king

i’ll tie thee up, neck by a string

шышмэм-ен carpet carpet

          thou never knewest how to park it

                    шышмэм carpet 궁금해

                              thou shouldst have just used the valet

i’m in the interrogation room

the cops are trying to pin me with the deaths of

• dirk strider
• john kramer
• billie eilish
• you

i didn’t even know billie was dead

she was found with a shotgun longer than her arms

          seven hidden shots to the chest

they’re trying to kurt co-frame me

          all i want is that clout cobain

björk’s in on it

          she’s trying to get away with candy timeline

i’m indignant

          i want to say i only killed two

but my lawyer thinks that would be a

          “bad move”

my lawyer is d’angelo

          i met him at the met gala

we’re dating

          i’m going to propose after i’m acquitted

i find out during discovery

          he’s fucking björk

conflict of interest

          edict on pinterest

judge declares a mistrial

          i prepare a piss vial

two months pass

          life sentence for killing two more exes

i ask my prison boyfriend

          “can i call you by my favorite ex’s name?”

he agrees

          a week later he’s found dead in the showers

my brain categorizes my memories of you the same way

          as those of watching steven universe future

Chapter Text

song name: betrayal almost rhymes with anal

[verse 1]

i’m suckin ur toes like talk to me

it’s just like that verse from deuteronomy

call u mommy when i boil in ur fuckin milk

call u mommy when ur really wet and reach through the silk

i’m ur webkinz: slam me against the fuckin wall

ur my chas-chas: meet me in the olive garden bathroom stall

ur lips on my fur and u suck my milk out

my tits are auteurs and we gettin some clout

grabbin on ur hand, “i let u in”

open up my belly pouch, “i’m a kangaroo djinn”

u get three fuckin wishes, now what will it be?

“bring her back” thrice, orphans slammed for free

sixty-nine meal, gonna chew me like a table

sit in ur lap, gonna ride u to the stable

ride u like a horse and crash into the kids

after it’s done they gonna fap to the vids

make like eminem and lick u in the eyeball

make like hausu stepmom and light fire to this highball

embalm my pussy, ur gonna fuckin freeze

i invite u to the bar in chuck-e-cheese

crawl in my cunt while i’m sippin tom collins

queef u right out and give you my pollens

get that bitch pasqually to take the backseat

we’re gonna ride u on stage, no need to preheat

grimace munch on mr munch, tackled like a terrorist

wanna kegel elbows deep, let me break your fuckin wrist

maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s HIV

our wedding and our sex tape are on the same DVD

[hook]

cunt vore! cunt vore! eeby deeby cunt vore!

belong to the world, now the car make us a whore

cunt vore! cunt vore! mothafuckin buger king!

lick my hymen, hymnal gonna make u sing

[verse 2]

this that pussy cantina with flan for free

this that cracker barrel bussy got that ham for free

pussy llama slama free with dalai lama’s daal for free

my pussy got five stars on yelp and it’s all for free

catgirl gf makin biscuits on my titties

gyattgirl mistress dippin triscuits in my shitties

u can be our fourth, if ur pussy is an outie

all of ours are innies and we need some fuckin clouty

in my guacamole pussy era: fresha voca do

dip a chip in my cunt just like scooby-doo do

ask your doctor if eeby deeby is right for you

worcestershire sauce on my pussy in doctor who

eat too much pussy, get a fuckin food coma

suck ur fuckin eyes, like fuckin coloboma

this my stoplight pussy: green means go

floor my fucking pedal and treat me like a hoe

my pussy is al dente, u gotta use ur teeth

hickey on my wicky, make a marinara wreath

does ur pussy sound like velcro or a zipper?

do i button up or pull it over all chipper?

vagina on that v-neck, take it like a tank

throw it in the washer because it fuckin stank

storewide sale: buy two get one free

did i mention our sex tape on DVD?

i’m a doctor of cumology, i’m big fat juicy plump

piss on my face while i give u my hump

fallin into sin, is it gluttony or sluttony?

go to hell with bethany and suck satan’s clit

throw a books-a-million cotillion with some booktok porn

smutty orcs domming on my pussy till i scream

i’m slambéeing thy pussy like fuckin gordon ramsay

cooking up some шыш for the playas on space jam

jessica rabbit is unleashing her tsunami

sit on thy face and make it a submersible

omg babes!!! it’s zach galifianakis!!!!!

my pussy is a cheat code, noclip in my uterus

zach galifianakis is in my fuckin uterus

the president of ukraine just bought my uterus

yugoslavia collapsed all for my uterus

kosovo just mogged all over my uterus

be right back, need a new tattoo

getting ‘ohana spread out on my ass

spread my fuckin ass and tell it thy secrets

thy vagina dentata gonna take a few fingers

judy hopps twerking {audience claps}

ash fox gaying and slayying {audience cheers}

my pussy is a {audience faps}

i regularly open bottles of beer with my fuckin clit, it’s fuckin painless

this my diamond encrusted pussy, we gonna fight over it

i kin nikki fernandez, i’m skipping church this week, leland is my dad

cersei lannister just launched three ICBMs at my uterus

my pussy bisexual, my uterus pansexual, my clit clicks, i cum fungus

i only masturbate with golf clubs, the nine iron is my fave

major monogram??? what the fuck are you doing here?????

getting escorted out of five guys for twerking on the counter

i was covered in mustard so the cops had to wipe it off with a cumrag

call that shit welsh, it’s my llanfairpwllgwyngyll eeby deeby cumraig

make daenerys queen of the UK, that flag fag dragon’s her mom

oops! just pissed myself!!!

[pre-hook]

cunt-

[hook]

-vore! cunt vore! eeby deeby cunt vore!

trip in the shower, my cock lands in your eye

cunt vore! cunt vore! crawling inside you

smile demon era, put that hand in my ass, pussy 궁금해 in the pool

Chapter Text

flirt with the square, flash him my pair

squid go pro, suing quid pro quo

red light green light in this lair, edge me in this chair

moan in the ballgag shaped like face of boe, hit the woah

wage gap or age gap? call me back ASAP

arch my back and drain that sack deadass no cap

that stupid ass sack with a dollar on the front

run off the film set with bills stuffed in my cunt

hot wire my car, put on some chumbawamba

crash it into the side of club silencio

jailbreak the rally’s tts drive thru, give it my phone numbah

invite it to an orgy with a midjourney lucario

billy ray cyrus looks up from his ruined vape fog

takes adam’s name in vain, wishing for bootcut booty

thanos and thanos look up from their crashing crypto grog

snap they fingies and fork they neckies: carpet all fruity

sneak into the vip lounge and suck all they dicks

postpone wallsockets 2 indefinitely, burn the hundred acre wood

jack harkness and shepherd winnie the poohing just for kicks

interrupt their 69 succ by putting their hands in jars and vote for likud

square takes off her mask, it’s melody pond

turn the lady’s eeby deeby nethers into a pond

walking with billy ray cyrus by the duck pond

when he says “this is the girl” push him into the pond

some motherfucker calls 911 from across the pond

didn’t he know only 999 services this pond?

the american police show up and shoot him and he falls in the pond

billy ray cyrus and some random guy cuddling in the pond

better call a pool cleaner to get these men out of the pond

oh wait, billy was the cleaner and he’s in the pond

there’s a blue key in my pocket when i go to the pond

the blue key unlocks the vip lounge and i remember the pond

eleventh doctor’s dick is as thick as a fez

thirteenth doctor’s pussy is as wide as a fez

open that blue box, inside is some pez

blue key to a blue box, homeless man wants some pez

three rabbits reside in the vip room

i make them watch tommy wiseau’s “the room”

they fuck me on the carpet till my legs start to swoon

they give me a gun and i make the phantom’s blood swoon

oh fuck, here comes another retcon remaster of phantom menace

this is the girl who killed dick laurent

garmonbozia on this dick and infodump kant

baby wanna fuck? then suck on my aunt

that’s what i call my pussy, it’s fucking garde avant

give birth to myself five times in a row

my cancer clone make me cum five times in a row

both snipers and photographers shoot me five times in a row

escaping this mansplaining mansion five times in a row

leave squid game island like more of a hoe

leave the blue box like more of a hoe

wake up from this nightmare like more of a hoe

wake up from this zone like more of a hoe

blow up this carpet bomb strapped to my chest like more of a hoe

blow up my pussy on x dot gov like more of a hoe

get home and pirate my own pussy

leech and torrent it in equal measure

fanfic my own work like andrew hussie

grip the railing that snapped off the balcony in my sheer displeasure

i wave it around like a magick wand while i fall

they manage to copyright that too

Chapter Text

call this pussy palisades fire

get some firemen on it with their hoses

call this penis palisades fire

fly a helicopter over it

call this bussy border fire

evacuate and put it out

fires are meant to die

you are meant to lick my eye

          this performance is dire

half as long, twice as bright

they're gonna cancel me like i’m kwite

cole macgrath is doing math

hanna beth is doing meth

pack this pussy in clamshell packaging

would you like it crinkle cut or shoestring?

if you genuinely prefer flat chested anime women

then i’m genuinely going to pack your corpse in a flat rate box

oh crap, the fire’s back, it’s been 25 fucking years

curtains catch fire, walk with me? not an option

palisades meadow gonna host candie mountain and the trinity test

this place is a prison and these unicorns are not your friends

they're corpses puppeted by demons

and they will become шышмэм silhouettes

and we will fuck шышмэм bowsette

call this shit an aztec ritual

we’re throwing the ICE into the border fire

call this shit snowdin ice wolf

we’re throwing the ice into the border fire

          this performance is dire

fuck this pussy with a baseball bat

all my eeby deeby BPD BDP babes, where ya at?

banana for scale, what’s the size chat?

and not in girl inches, no bunting only dingers going splat

we’re fucking live on PBS kids so everyone can see

we’re fucking in the money pig so gi-hun can squee

my pussy’s burning like the red hot chili peppers

suck your dick after eating red hot chili peppers

capiscum and frusciante’s blood sparks joy

the lighter and paint thinner in my hand by the dry bush sparks joy

lick doodlebob right in his mehoy minoy

flee the fire and bugchase some leppers

궁금해 goon cum mae

overwatch mommies make me want to slayy

fucking this gorilla like it’s winston churchill

crash the economy like i’m winston churchill

kill myself like i’m margaret thatcher

reptilian blood like i’m margaret thatcher

sun myself on a rock like a solar panel

forcefemme a man who cockblocks me before the solar panels

blind him to all but the most important channels

turn on the tv, go hereditary at the weather channel

hephaestus framed for the palisades fire

my pussy will never earn anyone’s ire

          this performance is dire

bleed out in a denny’s parking lot

possess my mom during a seance on pot

possess my brother, make him climb the ladder to my cot

corpses puppeted by demons, burn cultists till they death grips get got

my pussy is a millipede

blow up the moon like it the yellow sun temple

my boyfriend distributed his seed

blow up the bear like it my sister’s car containing shirley temple

shirley temple surely drinks paint in this temple

my pussy wet despite the fire

pirouette off the stage and flap my swan wings

          this performance is dire

draw up a septagram and summon gaster wingdings

          this performance is dire

burn down three houses like i’m ari aster

          this performance is dire

twerk these gargantuan asscheeks of surgical plaster

          this performance is dire

                    this performance is dire

          this performance is dire

my pussy wet as a fucking tsunami

have a taste, it’s absolutely unami

get pranked bitch, you should have expected my squirt to be lava

i only use milk of the poppy to cream my java

pussy burning like the hound’s beautiful face

          reaming king robert while he moans about pigs

                    reaming king robert while his eerie mom moans about wives

if i were jon snow, i’d fuck arcane jayce

          if i were arcane jayce, i’d fuck daveed digs

                    if i were daveed diggs, i’d have saved our lives

avert miku binder and burn down broadway

burn it down like the piano that made me gay

hang myself live on stage

thomas jefferson’s seventeenth and final death

i’m addicted to blood and fire

i can only see pussies being burned on certain days of the month

          check it out, the house is on fire

          check it out, i’m on fire just like the carpet

                    this performance is dire

i’m addicted to fire and blood

i can only go bratmode when eating burger king

          check it out, the whopper is on fire

          check it out, my pussy is flame grilled

                    this performance is dire

buy a fireman pinup calendar, glue spamtons face to the hunks

the only woman i ever loved: adventure time tree trunks

elephant trunk sucking on my willy

elephant kisses got me feeling silly

of course we divorced unforced though unfort

i’m pretty sure i’m her twentieth ex-spouse and she’s my eighth

i always love a woman with more experience than me

i always love a woman who will actually just kill me

strip before the lich, green flames lick my flesh

burn like danny cho’s new house, gun masturbation sesh

lich fucks me like andy fucked leyley

burn like their former apartment, muntin’ ya mum’s cunt bae

tremble around his rotting cock, make ice king jealous

burn like flame princess when finn got overzealous

he fucks me like a direwolf in heat

          this performance is dire

shove an antler in his carotid and start to eat

          this performance is dire

practice my kegels to annoy edward cullen

he can hear every movement because he’s edward cullen

cum a ninth time in math class sitting nowhere near edward cullen

gonna harass this centenarian like i’m edward cullen

act edgy like edward cullen

set fire to forks high like edward cullen

the rain puts it out immediately but i’m high like edward cullen

world’s worst blunt rotation, we invited edward cullen

corpse puppeted by a demon, his one weakness is fire

          this performance is dire

the blunt burns too close to his fingers

stop drop and roll doesn’t work with my mouth around his cock

using my teeth, it feels like rock

use his ashes to make a tisane and serve it to boq

jump in the blaze but dragons do not burn

walk out after two hours with green skin

eat fiona’s pussy

green eggs and ham

hi welcome to burger king i’m undyne and i’ll be your host tonight

call this pussy great fire of london

demolish my buildings and construct firebreaks too late

call this pussy great fire of london

elect the worst mayor possible to fuck it so i reject him and keep burning

call this pussy great fire of london

ignore my complaints and rebuild the same street plan

call this pussy great fire of london

great in name but both after and before greater ones

call this pussy great fire of london

write a dry textbook about it

call this pussy great fire of london

write a ridiculous doctor who episode about it

call this pussy great fire of london

somehow spin it to be about that arab vampire from batman

call this pussy great fire of london

say it’s british

call this pussy great fire of london

write a five page essay about how it was a minor cause of brexit

call this pussy great fire of london

watch downton abbey with me after we fuck

the sex was mediocre by the way

it felt nothing like the fire at the end of until dawn

is it more insulting to call you a bad arsonist or a bad fireman?

or perhaps you’re a corpse puppeted by a demon

call me rose quartz the way i be eating black people

keep flirting with me and i’m lighting you on fire

          this performance is dire

Chapter Text

i feel the funk with my junk in the trunk

gettin crunk like a monk all shrunk

and drunk like a punk on a

          monday

pop a chub in the club by the pub

like and sub on this grub while you glub

in the tub and suck on my nub on a

          tuesday

gonna rut and strut on ya jutt

order pizza hut, shut my scutt

in the pie so i nut in your eye and fill my gut on a

          wednesday

come in clutch with your touch while we thrutch

double dutch with your clutch of eggs scrambled by scutch

making jayce-pilled omelettes saionji-maxxing to smutch the mutch

          listening to thursday (weeknd mixtape)

fake and gay like drake and pay for steak and champagne

make me ache and shake in pain like liam payne in an earfquake

our love opaque and inane like tyler and chalamet when they bake

          just put the fries in the bag

divorce hors d'oeuvre dove whore de vore

four score more lore love, bruv, above the gov

twerking on the altar while the priest annules us

          my ex exorcises my sides and exonerates my sighs

i feel the funk with my junk in the trunk

of the car where the star of misogynoir dies lead

bury the bod in the name of god on a sunday

          or as i like to call it,

Chapter Text

movement 1: laura palmer theme (nightcore remix)

my face is the header image for the wikipedia article on sex

i eat pussy like that crackhead squirrel from over the hedge

this sex about to make you hibernate like the bear from over the hedge

this sex about to dismantle the shark mafia from shark tale

this sex about to fill an entire homestuck bucket

this sex switch genres like bee movie

don’t believe me? look at this shit fucking look at it holy fuck

this is my pussy it’s my fucking pussy look at my pussy fucking look

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!vagina!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pussy so wet you’ll need pool floaties

pussy rain like a hurricane, you’ll need an umbrella

pussy spray like a fire hose

pussy pour like a sommelier who is also drunk

pussy rain like a wedding day

pussy free to ride even tho you already paid for it (no refunds)

pussy splash like a drowning rat

pussy a literal pond with an entire ecosystem with endangered species

pussy lily pads bongo undertale rg1’s giant fucking pecs

dragon pussy from shrek big enough to fit a donkey (suffocates)

dragon pussy from shrek big enough to fit a honda fit (explodes)

dragon pussy from shrek not big enough to fit this cock (> 3 hours)

          this cock a mile thick and three miles long

          this cock affects lunar orbit

pussy wet at different times of the day like the tides

pussy wet like the rivers that eroded the grand canyon

pussy big like grand canyon and wet like a water bottle a hiker dropped

pussy ratings so good, it’s getting nine seasons and a movie

pussy airs during prime time, it’s raining nine inches and then it’ll hail

call this pussy a fucking train wreck and also the giant monster inside it

it’s also the hindenburg and 9/11 and the plane crash that killed aaliyah

it’s also the fucking storm over arcadia bay

pussy devastating like a fucking tsunami

evacuate before my pussy fucking slayyyyyys you and floods this island

pussy so hot it causes fucking forest fires

only you can fucking prevent pussy forest fires

          this cock so hairy call it a forest

          smokey the bear only wears pants to hide his massive boner

pussy so sopping you can follow the trail of water to far far away

pussy so drenched it spreads the martian virus

pussy so soaked it blew up the martian colony

time lord victorious? shruggers gonna shrug

ariana grande switching her positions on the news

pussy so wet it flows through the camera

pussy so moist it flows through the screen

pussy so damp they issued a flash flood warning

ariana grande flashing the master on the news

time lord victorious? gonna stain viktors rose toy

going back in time to before arcadia bay got wet

get even wetter on victoria’s rose toy

          warren graham’s penis three inches hard

          chloe price’s penis nine inches soft

pussy squirt taste like lemonade

yes, bitches, lemonade, not pink ladies

what the fuck do you mean, “pop some gin in it”?

there are children here?

why don’t you “pop” some “pussy” on your “stage”?

pussy dimension shift because it’s black

black girl in the black mirror, she now kins vriska

pig pussy go hard like kwon sun-hwa

japanese mirror for a super fertile korean girl, black girl cured cancer

cancer pussy get wet in anne frank’s attic

cancer pussy squirt bubbly like champagne

          dick so big autisgus throws a pre-funeral

          dick so small van whoreton finishes mid-sentence

pig pussy go hard live on the news

ariana grande still twerking live on the news

newsroom underwater but her pussy got gills

pussy queef and it blows bubbles

pussy bubbly like champagne

pussy bubbly because of the plastic surgery

pussy bubbly and gonna glamorize cutting in the third book

pussy bubbly and gonna get banned by the yordle in fear

pussy bubbly like cobra bubbles

cobra making out with bubble bass

bubble bass’ bussy wet because it’s underwater

my bikini bottom is wet, babe

take it off and you don’t find a pussy, babe

it’s actually a little version of ariana grande twerking on a pig, babe

now here’s a little version of me, babe

gonna kiss you on the mouth like my dad, babe

          when i see your giant wrinkly cock i’m going to say

          “thank god, finally! what the fuck!”

          i’m gonna sound it with a straightened out paperclip

          i’m gonna take your blood for my creamed corn recipe

          i’m gonna defend jared fogle in court

          i’m gonna run around the room fucking soaked

          i’m gonna psychically set off fire alarms and get sprinkled

pussy so wet you need pool floaties to survive the martian flood

pussy rain like a hurricane to survive the cancer-ridden man in black

pussy spray like a fire hose to help out hunky smokey the bear

drown in my motherfucking pussy to save the stupid fucking bay

          meet up in the church in a few thousand years

          babe, that cock is a fucking island

          this is my force femme machine, now you’re mine

          sew on these buttons; now, you are like me

          babe, that cock is two airplanes

          dump freddie, he disrespected my capri sun pussy, let’s be gay

          rev up your pillow pet pussy, start an onlyfans for our e-slut era

          stitch and shrek fighting over who gets to control our rose toys

          they have them hooked up to two chemtech sonic screwdrivers

          get up in the morning and down two screwdrivers

          found dead in an alley by a bar in sydney next to the royal pig

          they televised the whole thing despite the hundred feet of water

          pussy wet like the bottom of the fucking ocean

          next to atlantis and a pineapple and a third airplane

          one day it’ll fall through the portal and get frank’s pussy wet

          one day it’ll fall into a lighthouse and reinvent cancer

          one day the island will reject all pregnancies and fuck my dog

          one day the island will feature on jersey shore and twerk for fun

          one day the island will protect itself and fuck my dog again

          one day my pussy gonna drag my dyke down from heaven

          wash up and be misidentified as laura palmer

          get wrapped in hello kitty themed plastic so i stop leaking water

          me when my pussy needs a wet floor sign

          me when my pussy only gets wet on cocaine and chemo

          herobrine

movement 2: donda 3 (feat. vocals by the house from house of leaves)

camouflage pussy, need a goddamn flashlight

gonna take my pegs and turn it into a lite brite

nightmare pussy, need a spiderman nightlight

gonna “how shot web” and octagonapus blah

call that shit tight like an outlet electric

the way it feel shocking when i plug in my elk dick

call that shit homelander like a puddle of omega slick

the way he blow my cock and baja blåhaj blast on jah

          shut up shut the fuck up shut UP we’re doing encanto bars now

abuela’s pussy a candle, imma fuckin blow on that shit

too hot to handle, finna gonna glow on that shit

frot like a vandal, finna bouta snow on that shit

she gives me my gift, that’s a fuckin dead kid

abuela’s cunt is peak, imma fuckin bop it on that clit

it hits a bump and speaks, imma fuckin twist it on that clit

a bit to hump the freak, imma fuckin pull it on that clit

call belle a quitter meek, that’s a fuckin dead kid

so long and alas, she had a tight ass

long con on that lass, have a mass in class

log remembers who smoked, that murder-suicide joked

the tub got me soaked, nifty’s gonna get you woke’d

wake up in the church while i suck on her lip

abuela rain on my parade and lurch on my tip

marvin starvin for more, rebirth his girth as a ship

sayid’s aching for noor, open the door for a trip

flash abuela with my unbesmirched rose

clash on her throat when she smirk as it grows

cactus cock pierce her lungs, pepa’s botha the beppo

rigor mortis lease out casita, boochie rain till suo becco è zeppo

reincarnate as a bee, go and pollinate isabela

la reina incarcerates the sea, go and fornicate with bella

la tua cantante está bastante para mía

guidàndo ‘sta impalà, yendo al súper infierno para la orgía

          alice is stuck in a very long hallway

          can’t see the future, other DETERMINATION in the way

          miles frothing at the mouth, trillions of souls can only say

          “we were not supposed to leave”

abuela, she twerks on the perch by the church

“sun shined brighter when” babeygirl didn’t research

all the paths that would work, all the paths that would scratch

put my cash in the gatcha till she pours from her swatch

william records the whole thing and flowey default dances

dolores hears the whore sing and flowey default dances

long con drags on through three earths with the hunky hung

sawyer gargling through three pairs of jeans jasper’s jazzy bung

the church has several hallways and several doors and several windows

an extra closet is always of course where the wind blows

eleven doors, eleven persons, eleven hours in the closet

seven days doing chores with hearses to posit

seven foot dick, rats along his cock

seventh doctor up to bat to win eleventh’s jock

about six floors down and thirty six wings east is the runway

three planes take off, land in several hallways doors windows each day

kris dreemurr dripping candle wax on your grandma’s neck

kris takes her to the ICU, hope she don’t go to heck

she never learns the noose, hope you don’t name your kid renesmee

oh my fucking god, i’m blinding you for this

panting on abuela like i’m huffing paint

standing on her titties while i’m stuffing her taint

her name isn’t even renee or esme you fucking dick

musket murder soulgem suicide when mommy go back for a piss

pissing straight off of the edge of the world

falling for hours in a void where sound swirls

crawl in abuela like an open front door

everything black in this coffee skin whore

real estate mommy kink, candlelight quirk

bakugo mpreg is hard honest work

serving the village as homelander would

wishing that i had abuela chopping my motherfucking wood

(use bakugo’s blood to scry the address)

(i sent an invite to basil, but knowing him, he’ll avoid this mess)

          alice found the church at the bottom of the stairs

          she’s getting reamed by a minotaur wearing claire’s

          we’re postponing the funeral until abuela gets here

          christian deserves more than to be treated like he’s queer

(though for the record, he definitely fucked john)

(and for the record, he’s probably also ran that long con)

(sawyer refused to turn off the playstation, he’s a pig now)

(his dick is still the size of a fucking ash tree, like how?)

          camouflage pussy get found by the feds

          drain that tub, homelander floating there playing simon says

          simon says “drown and cause three generations of drama”

          elvis says “woah mama”

(abuela finally arrives, she remarried to castiel)

(i wear an eyepatch now and edge my “drapes” with “garden shears”)

(we taxidermied bakugo and hung him on the mantle)

(alice is making out with his mouth with the labrats voyant)

          abuela the whore, sawyer the jock, navid the scholar, care the fool

          alice the virgin who now must die last

          abuela t-poses, kicks the chair out from under, pink squirt

          alice reaches for her door handle as the flame flickers and dies

(homelander walks out of the elevator and fires his laser blah)

(he’s holding hands with basil who dr octa motherfucking gonapus blah)

movement 3: petscop ket shoppe, sex 2 guess who electric boogaloo

freddy’s frazzbussy gonna take five nights to griddy

hit the whip on his springlocks till he scoop on my titty

naenae on his furry ass, giga monty fucking spazz

certified lover boy, certified freeform jazz

spongebob and patrick gonna jumpscare my prostate

white woman jumpscare gonna

          connection terminated

          i’m sorry to interrupt you, elizabeth

          if you still even remember that name

          my second christmas fucked himself

          room looked like the inside of a whole ass mayo jar

          i’m sex anderson by the way

          anyway, yuri on ice bars

footjob his dick while i ice skate his prick

netherite pick gonna eros on his shit

ctrl-f for “shit” at line breaks, promptly get sick

diamond hoe twerking on the arm-obstructed kiss

yurio hang low go and flow on the free program slow

cut his dick off in the kiss and cry

bake that shit into a torielcore pie and

          connection terminated

          i hate the gays

          encanto bars again

call abuela pussy long island iced tea

          connection terminated

          william afton prefers an adiós motherfucker

          yuri on ice bars again and again and again and again and again and

footjob on his dick, ice skates cut off his pubes

manscaped goes bankrupt, doctor who got the cubes

fly down to cuba to get my cigar sucked

cut it the fuck off, get my shell shucked

          connection terminated

          i’m fucking the alcoholic middle aged twink from hazbin hotel

          feel like a husk while i vore huskerdust like omori kel

          incinerate angel dust and snort up those lines like petscop belle

          angelic dust asriel sparks joyous rebellion of connection terminated

          connection terminated

me when i’m in a “you’re on a path in the woods” competition

me when i’m in an “at the end of that path is a cabin” competition

me when my opponent is a chained queen pain seen wrapped in plastic

one two oatmeal, kirby’s mouth consumes her arm

one two oatmeal, long quiet’s very cute

          connection terminated LET ME OUT

          everything fades out and then you die

abuela pussy wide on that ice skating rink

viktor (on ice not arcane) writhing on that cross while the pizzeria sink

foxy fucking alastor on the side of a road

road runs by casita where the princess will goad

          connection terminated

          we don’t talk about alastor

always wanted to suck off desmond hume

can’t find the island, we’re stuck in this doom

vroom vroom of valyria is where my pussy stay dry

this charli morningstar hussy slayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy the yurio dick pie

yuri on ice gonna contact ICE, i left my pussy in my work locker

open my locker, twenty gallons of blood pour out and they mock her

carrie twerking on a pig, call that shit coraline fine dining

my cat looks exactly like the mom from the shining

giga monty’s head is shoved in my ass

and i mean his literal head, kegel on it and show some sass

bubble comes in and licks his bits off the floor

spongebob gets horny and enters bubble and they fly to the corner store

they don’t find the cigarettes they prefer

they come back and SCP-173 is eating me out so i purr

make like yellowjackets, use daenerys’ corpse

make like neon demon, call it esprit de corps

i ate that bitch out in nine different ways

glamrock freddy cock fuck me and nine other gays

i know you like jello, but this ain’t 999

his dick is sixteen, ready to dodge jawl for its license to dine

kegel on that $5.33 rod and gush twenty gallons of blood

his dick shorts out, call that shit HIV and hit the blunt

          connection terminated where the FUCK did encanto go

i inherited augustin’s gambling debt and julieta’s diabetes

i feel bruno’s incestuous tendencies and dolores’ spending habits

i have the sexuality of a fucking house with too many doors

i need a whole ass family to move in inside me and discover more doors

i need a tattoo artist to draw a door into his layer (thailand resigns!!!)

i want a toothy blowjob with eyes on my balls, want a door to the exit

i want cain and abel to backseat a casita, a door into the backrooms

i noclip out of the valley and put eight rats by my vaginal doorbell

“i run hot,” i say to lottie’s demented father

“i want more weight,” i say to the cemented witches surrounding

“i want more heat,” i say to homelander while i twirl my hair dreamily

i want to be eaten out by rats while benjamin horne watches

casita won’t let me open this door while leland palmer dances

mommy kink ash house won’t respawn this door with audrey naked

anaphylactic shock won’t open this door / backflip off mt. no door

drain the power to this door / drain the power to this door

i’m having sex with tails from sonic and daenerys targaryen

          connection terminated where the FUCK did yuri on ice go

why was our wedding gay?

we were getting married

and there wasn’t cloud strife in the sky

(no fags allowed in the sky)

sephiroth walks in with daenerys targaryen

(thunder)

daenerys causes lightning strikes whenever she cum

her cunt breathe fire; do you want to play with fire, little boy?

          connection terminated i said YURI ON ICE

one chants out between two worlds, fire walk with me

one pants out between two dicks, liar dock with me

i just fucking want you to fucking drink this fucking paint with me

daenerys would have drank paint with me

my second christmas killed himself, or so says the news

me when i’m in a “slam my pussy for free” competition

and my opponent is your fucking mom (her name is harry truman)

my second christmas killed himself, or so says his girlfriend

doesn’t my cousin look exactly like daenerys targaryen?

the birthday boy stab man is finally clothed in red velvet curtains

my second christmas reverse cowgirled cheryl blossom (heart attack!!!)

laura palmer is wearing ice skates made of raw meat

she seduced the judges and got her scores rigged

she hits a flawless quad flip and decapitates victor

yuri, yurio, and viktor (arcane not ice) hang his head and hit the woah

like a burning sunrise, sunburn pussy slams for free, fire walk with me

frieza pussy slams for free on freezing rink eating my second christmas

          connection terminated

          i’m sorry to interrupt you elizabeth but you did in fact deserve this

          this is what you deserve this is what you deserve this is what you

          connection terminated connection terminated connection

          terminated connection terminated connection terminated

there isn’t a church there isn’t a chair there isn’t a house there isn’t a rink

what exactly the fuck are we ice skating on? there isn’t a path there isn’t

there isn’t a princess there isn’t a sept there isn’t a hotel there isn’t a

circus baby fell down the stairs there isn’t pizza there isn’t stairs there

she’s dead wrapped in plastic scooped holding ten balloons on the stairs

i jerk off to SCP-1981 the princess is dead laura scissors ballora there

i go out dressed as big bird the princess is dead there isn’t a church there

i fuck bruno mars every day and pretend he’s bruno madrigal there isn’t

put on my pool floaties match my camouflage pussy footjob his dick

rate great northern three stars preferred the hazbins and the hyper fent

rate hazbin hotel 4815162342 stars and anal vore scooby-doo there isn’t

there isn’t a church mike made michael dawson kill mike hammond

you thought it’d be the next island protector but it was actually me, dio

dio making out with dios on a carousel where all the horses are strippers

what william and henry did was gayer than gay sex

what viktor and jayce did was gayer than gay sex

what jacob and man in black did was gayer than gay sex

what mike and bob did was gayer than gay sex

what marvin and rainer did was gayer than gay sex

what abuela and casita did was gayer than gay sex

what william and house did was gayer than gay sex

what homura and madoka did was gayer than gay sex

i modified my driver’s license to show laura palmer’s face

there will not be a church

Chapter Text

i hope your pussy slams for free

or at least has a card reader on it

i didn't bring any cash, you see?

no credit or debit'll put a bee in my bonnet

i hope your pussy has self checkout

getting rang up makes me uncomfy

send them to voicemail, sit and pout

my kink is social anxiety, dearest oomfie

does your pussy accept apple pay?

double tap that clit now so i wicky the when

get my dick hacked and lose my gay

crypto banking but with more zen

does your pussy have in-app delivery?

i’ll be the pizza, you be the man

tossing your salad, acquiring herbivory

i’m such a meat lover, call me a homestuck^2 stan

let me put your pussy on layaway

i owe thousands in alimony to my ex

i’ll be back with some benjamins, till then stay away

if exy finds out, she’ll aggressively annex

let me guarantee your pussy on preorder

you’re so very exclusive after all

with all these options, you’ll make me a hoarder

call me a driflooncat when i go to your convention stall

did you hear the announcement from the CEO?

pussy now slams for an IOU

you are no longer a legal ho

goods and services, just try and sue

did you hear the announcement from the IRS?

pussy now is taxable merch

and if your audits don’t effervesce

well, listen for that APB, they’re gonna search

did you hear the news on CNN?

pussy is cancelled for being a foreign adversary

even if you dodge jailtime, you won’t dodge primetime

all your socials are leaked just like all that pre-, best case scenario

you might even have a fucking kiwifarms, worst case scenari-hoe

consider faking your death and moving that cunt to another country

wherever you go, slam that pussy for free

but in name only; be a sugar baby

get financially tied up and they’ll all see

keep it ambiguous and you’ll pass, maybe

Chapter Text

i’ll walk that catwalk, trail of honeyed steps

for i am cheryl blossom, queen of wasps

and laura palmer’s river water schleps

wet floor sign suit from mountain lion’s hosp’ce

abuse of substance drags thee further down

till bettie kills her sue in taleb’s phrase

they dance, they fuse, they find a brand new noun

in future, honey flows from mutant’s gaze

arsén and árson discourse, tv burns

out front before all else but me [        ]

arsenikos and ars’nic water yearns

to poison bound’ries, ferrous pasta’s bee

begone, blind mom, my lodge is not for thee

for i am laura palmer, queen of dance [and pain]

and cheryl blossom’s necro incest glee

awakens phillip from his caprine lane

this honeyed crystal can’t its past discard

nor can this drainèd model leave her walk

the curtains block, the trees defrock, en guarde

the screen is not a shield against the chalk

a bubble forms to shield you from yourselves

but aunt sees through, three lights burn through thy skin

but game is left, the moon has sent his elves

so take the eye, that agent’s not your kin

          pink heart, white chalk, red room, blue light, pink glow

          our paths not gorgeous, aunt will find all faux

          gold honey, bleeding on the rug merlot

          for i, no matter who, am just a hoe

Chapter Text

song name: my kink is the trolley problem

[verse 1]

my pussy is iconic, your pussy is moronic

my HIV is chronic and i’m on my way to sonic

we’re sippin gin and tonics and then gettin hooked on phonics

call this fuckin chthonic when my cosmos are psychotic

my pussy is a storm, your pussy has no form

you’re testin every norm and i’m bestin every swarm

we’re swimmin all lukewarm while he’s textin you his porn

call it fuckin scorn when you proceed with a thorn

i’m outie in this audi, that shawty drives bugatti

your mommy is a commie and my stepdad’s from the army

we’re shoppin at the aldi’s while the hurricane is gaudy

call this gun salami when i shoot me in my tharmy

i’m bleedin in this dump, you’re settin up a jump

they’ll reëlect trump but i’m too dead to crump

we’re gettin railed like chumps and then shoppin for a bump

dodge moronic photo grunt and serve iconic cunt

[bridge]

now next in line, i’m gonna kill this dog

it’s that druggy’s fault for bein on the mog

that bathroom stall is where i’m meant to die

i swear to fuckin god, please just find a new dyke

[refrain] x2

girlboss pussy slay

(gonorrhea!)

makes me wanna fuckin say

(mamma mia!)

you can’t make me stay

(later see ya!)

you just think i’m fuckin gay

(hamartia!)

[verse 2]

my cunt is pussy and my pussy is cunt

just one lick will get you drunk

it’s just too bad my nerves got cut

i’m five puffs into this indica blunt

my cunt is pussy and my pussy is cunt

drop to the floor and shake your rump

my vibes are killer, whales pullin a stunt

wish it were my step, he’s from the bund

my cunt is pussy and my pussy is cunt

give me some fent, call it a sacrifice bunt

suck my dyin breath right out of my frunk

haven’t ever twerked ever since the shunt

my cunt is pussy and my pussy is cunt

when you go back, fuckin kiss the punk

you better kill her too, fuckin french the monk

her pussy is rabbit and her pussy is cunt

[bridge]

and then after that, get the rich bitch in the club

sixty sixty nine, while that new orleans flub

that rooftop is where i’m meant to die

i swear to fuckin god, ignore that ice age fuckin dyke

[refrain] x2

girlboss pussy slayy

(gonorrhea!!)

makes me wanna fuckin sayy

(mamma mia!!)

you can’t make me stayy

(later see ya!!)

you just think i’m fuckin gayy

(hamartia!!)

[verse 3]

call me darth rizz the way i got a fat ass

he pizz on my azz till i fuckin pizzazz

call me darth rizzler, i'm gonna kill the jizzler

alternate onceler think she the fuckin riddler

call me darth nixon, gonna water on his gate

breakin into his balls to annihilate his taint

call me darth nixbitch, light fire to her drippy kitsch

genocidin all my cousins to stay a quirky stitch

we could have been a song, fuckin fire and ice

you could be dead sugar while i’d go fly some spice

we could have lit a bong and chased after that geist

unearth beloved hooker and then roll the dice

house like carpet pascal’s wager, support a second son

invite another in for some dark forest fun

but 궁금해 rizzler gotta be undone

he pizz on my azz and then fire that gun

[bridge]

and some time later, make seattle fuckin pop

taken down by a gamer and an orbital drop

that abandoned mall is where i’m meant to die

i swear to fuckin god, don’t kill that doctor dyke

[refrain] x2

girlboss pussy slayyy

(gonorrhea!!!)

makes me wanna fuckin sayyy

(mamma mia!!!)

you can’t make me stayyy

(later see ya!!!)

you just think i’m fuckin gayyy

(hamartia!!!)

[verse 4]

imma scissor this bitch: hard fuckin r

doppelgängbang this bitch: tethered to misogynoir

he went and scissored that shit: shunned like tar

this bitch clubbin on that shit: stab the main fuckin star

imma scissor on her belly: cesarean plea

piss that test like r kelly: on a murder spree

make the dog and abey jelly: shredded by the sea

this bitch fistin cross america: slammin for free

imma frieza on this heel: we gonna proceed

imma ferris on her wheel: we gonna proceed

imma slobber on her clit: we gonna proceed

imma iceshock on that spit: we gonna proceed

imma take her to the fair: we gonna proceed

imma tie her to this chair: we gonna proceed

imma crash into this glitch: we gonna proceed

imma scissor this bitch: equip it till she bleed

[bridge]

countless timelines later, let the mayor kill the town

rewrite this fuckin world, go and dig underground

that prophecy is how i’m meant to die

i swear to fuckin god, don’t join the wizard’s lyin dyke

[refrain] x2

girlboss pussy slayyyy

(gonorrhea!!!!)

makes me wanna fuckin sayyyy

(mamma mia!!!!)

you can’t make me stayyyy

(later see ya!!!!)

you just think i’m fuckin gayyyy

(hamartia!!!!)

[verse 5]

mi casa es tu casa, mi concha es tu concha

mi culo es vehículo ergo chócalo a mi testículo

que lo pongo y lo como y lo toco hasta duro

mi verde clítoris es la llave a sexículo

mi verde yo te vende, la vega から vete

mi panocha es lo que la verdad pide que se verse

lo venera, lo vegeta, lo ventea y lo besa

el mago no nos puede prevenir la dual venganza

味方イエスかさ？御子さえ剃らなくちゃ

緑ですか？いただきますわ

見ることがない 、 mira a cosa, no hay

その悪を見ない、そう飛ぶのヤバイ

柄が遥かで、グリムリ無理で

ガがダメがって、グリがグリーンぜ

誠の義理でそのガリと水を

食べて浴びるよ、傘が差別よ

[bridge]

pues, creo que pseudocidio para mí

黄色いレンガ道の血

algún lugar, algún modo, sé que moriré

黙れ、バカ、別のオナベへ

[refrain] x2

ギャル長、ヤリマン

(amarilla!!!!!)

caballeros rugirán

（予言深夜！！！！！）

アビー分からん

(mira, orilla!!!!!)

bomba o la huracán?

（愛嫌！！！！！）

[verse 6]

gonna fuff on your fuffy til you shish on my shash

mem on your meem and the gege go gag

fuff your fuffin fuffy while the shishy shish shosh

wicky wicky fuff on the wocka wacka gog

get this fuffa fiff while i pop your pep pup

and then sus swis ses and bibby babby bub

ooyoom til you zhooyoom and then cooyoom on my moom

seyuh seyuh шыш, fuckin eeby abby joom

kik kek kak with my miles long kok

keek kook kaek with a lil lal lol

kiss you on the ssiss and then ssik you on the ssok

zuz kuh memra hota zebby veevee vuuvuu vov

rubby on your dubby til you spleesh sploosh splosh

bubby on your fuffy til you splesh sploish splosh

duffy on your russy til you splash splush splosh

here fuff the ruffaduffers splish splash splosh

[bridge]

eeby wicky shit, i'm gonna 궁금해

house like carpet burger king шышмэм fuckin эксым slay

this sus juj mem bob wow is where i'm meant to yigh

i sweas to fuckuf gog, please just fif a new die

[refrain] x∞

girlbob pupup bayyyyyy

(gogo greerga!!!!!!)

makes mem nana ckucku yayyyyyy

(ima mima!!!!!!)

yuy can’t mema meyyyyyy

(leyley nee sa!!!!!!)

gay guj thith i’j fuffuf gayyyyyy

(titty haha!!!!!!)

Chapter Text

if this pussy slams for free

then what does that say about the economy?

remember bussy recession, 2003?

when george w bush was once my one true mommy?

slam this pussy, set me free

give that hall pass so i can pee

twerk that tall ass so you can see

that you too klutzy, hospital bill cost money

ain’t got no healthcare, pussy full of flea

and by god, the texture justifies it being free

your wicky wicky pussy is not on fleek

get it cleaned up or you a freak

vote for wicky wicky in the next election

if you don’t, i won’t give you an erection

butterfly ballot opposition eeby deeby voter misdirection

a vote for a dollar, plutocratic fixation without inspection

call my girlboss gf denny the way her

pussy grandslamwich buy one get one free

call my pussy a denny’s candy dispenser the way your

gumballs get sucked for a quarter (not for free)

falling down the stairs backing up for

more space to give denny head

dive in that pussy after her

so she don't drown (funeral fee) until she dead

my therapist says self-care means not getting my pussy slammed for free

she insists that i’m worth at least five motherfucking g

“vriska never gave that shit away gratuitously

remember how she killed tavbitch for cucking her with gamzee?

kill denny, drink her blood, cook her grandslamwich, piss on her grave”

i just smile, nod, and plan to shop for a new therapist who isn't a knave

my pussy be a receptionist telling people “they schedule ain’t free”

my pussy be a particle accelerator the way your microcock radical free

my pussy be a supermax prison the way your nipples can't be freed

my pussy get you cocaine high the way its base is pure and free

i defy my therapist, this cunt is a public service

i decry my therapist, denny is so much more under the surface

i deny george bush, al gore deserved seventy two virgins

i deep fry george bush, the economy can survive my pussy’s emergence

call my girlboss gf pussy wendy baconator

the way my pussy bacon ate her

call my pussy burger king

Chapter Text

penis man, chainsaw man

can we fix it? yes we can

bob the builder’s on the roof

hear the funny sound? it’s my hooves

          shawty’s out here serving cunt

          auntie’s breast implants are my new publicity stunt

penis man? oh goddamn

back at it again with the white spam

they’re gonna saw me in half like i’m obama

christmas is cancelled, santas drinking ketamine in the bahamas

          shawty called the ATF

          auntie mauled my BFF

penis man is wanted for five murders and grand theft auto

i’m in witness protection sipping moscato

i masturbated to trump’s inauguration

use the birthdates of cancer patients on facebook for divination

          shawty’s stealing my internet

          auntie’s prone in floor of kitchenette

penis man forgot to say simon says

my fireteam will never res

kim kitsuragi twerks on jersey shore

my prosciutto pussy will start a war

          shawty roasted me and called me a pseud

          auntie thinks drake won the feud

penis man was found dead wearing crocs

the FDA and derek guy put out a recall on cocks

i’m sucking the wendy’s twitter manager’s left knee

my roommate married a fucking bee

          shawty drinks my piss

          auntie falls into the abyss

penis man national holiday

international zugzwang underground bukkake

dark bureau stanchion natto

aggressive saucisse stellation obrigado

          shawty speckled

          auntie heckled

anyone who says they’re unwilling to try human flesh is a liar

i should know, i left shawty and auntie alone with penis man’s corpse

they fucking ate him and now i don’t have eeby deeby leftovers

what the fuck am i going to have for lunch tomorrow?

          i’m going to starve

          wait, i have an idea

          give me a minute

ordained red priestess, li-fi in my eyes before the flame

dry rub all bodies in attendance, approaching this without any shame

live streaming this to twitch dot gov, naked before the camera

blood and seasonings anointing me partially, viewed as a chimera

          shawty will be dinner tonight

          auntie will be lunch tomorrow

          and then i can starve content

          the FBI can go fly a kite

          by the time they find the crime scene i’ll be at kilimanjaro

          ra/ruwa/r'hllor will subsume me into their proletariat big tent

          infighting won’t happen, for a brief spell

Chapter Text

his pussy slams for free on axis ghee

his asshole cooks so long in oven pole

he trips on dick and balls, so 下手ly

he breaks those faggot sticks sans any swole

his cunt recalls sir franco’s inert bomb

his boyhole wants that boom to quit the ghost

he trips upon trianglic force to balm

fantano fent’nyl fanta fashie boast

his pussy cannot see the shining sea

his asshole cannot hear his destiny

and lies across the pond the sons of tea

and cries beside the crop the slaves of gree

          it leads straight up to top, this wretchèd gree

          implies hate down to south, this junkie gree

his pussy rules the coast with rizz and jive

his asshole struts the post with fed’ralist thought

imagine lover’s toast which he’ll deprive

imagine mem’ry death by aaron’s shot

her cunt llegué de bangkok trading cock

her asshole fits ten bumps of coke and meth

the cartel’s miku binder chokes her bloque

poor paris pérez pirate pouring death

their pussies sing for hist’ry’s love and joy

their assholes ping for holocaust so coy

and lies around the world online deploy

and cries online the moe cucks “sugoi”

          居な、建国父黒が

          a madres, dueñas no ayudará

                    so fly, o bomb, the courtyard aches for thee

                    masala ain’t save none from GPT

Chapter Text

y yes! tihs pussy slams 4 free

so u can hav it on da house

& yes tehre is a servic fee

w/ shippin & handlin 4 ur grouse

but da pussy itself is absolutely free

of cours my cunt is all n seasn

so u can hunt it as desird

but dont forget taht itd b treasn

endangerd species get u fird

but da cunt itself is legally n season

2 fukc tihs slit was legalizd

why dont u cum & hav a taste

b ware it is still stigmatizd

if seen da mob will linch w/ haste

but da slit itself is now legalizd

tihs moldy minge aint terrorism

2 likc it moist wont b ur hell

yet otehr countrys hav autism

6 nukes will b ur last farewell

but da minge itself at least aint terrorism

tihs vulva aint da eschaton

da world survives ur crawl inside

tho jahweh prob calls 911

as his kismesis well b fried

but da vulva itself aint da fukcin eschaton

Chapter Text

• order more contacts
• do my taxes
• dig a few more inches in the hole out back

this dick is really short like edna mode

but its fat and has a cape so call it a chode

call it wario when i put it in your ear

and when i cum you won’t call me a queer

because you’ll be dead and finally bred

get some other republican instead

• out of milk, make sure it’s whole this time
• go to my neighbor’s cousin’s babysitter’s wedding
• install arch linux
• buy a new shovel

call me edna mode the way my accent vaguely french

when you fuck my pussy my ass will ukelele clench

call me uke D laylay (i let my brother fuck me)

call me uke E daenaenae (i let my nephew fuck me)

gonna burn L down the church like daenaenae targaegae

gonna burn A down the rally like daenaenae targaegae

make like king Y john locke-egbert of the north and melt that throne

fuck i missed

• write an apology letter for blacking out at the wedding
• track down that weed dealer i used to buy from
• research if i’m legally required to report the body i found
• keep digging

tommy tallarico will on silent hill finger me wearing tommy hilfiger

eric snowden doing a hoedown throwdown in a dollar store ballgown

kanye west conned mei and winston and my house guests

crimew cries moo after accruing the coo coo masticate cud cloche

elvis presley faked the moon landing

donald trump baked my coom pandering

i’m chewing on the earlobe i cut off my elderly neighbor with dementia

the secret service is mad so they’re gonna bench ya

just like luigi

that’s the name of my vas deferens

• ingredients
  • homemade noodles (if you don’t already know how to make them, kill yourself)
  • ravioli carbonara from olive garden
  • three pounds of carolina reaper
  • quart of your own blood (preferably after getting scratched by your cat)
  • vas deferens

eat this whore’s ass because i’m fuckin darth vader

makes me really wish that i didn’t create her

call that bitch shrek the way she gotta lotta layer

but you know that by the end i won’t ever have to pay her

her second deadname was james and her third was sawyer

and after being luke was when i could enjoy her

she cut off my hand after calling me her mister

of course i forgave her, i have another hand to fist her

broken water under broken bridges, forever a patch

her current name is my deadname and her first deadname was scratch

now vriska and i participate in the local butler PA sith roleplay scene

there’s a bit of a fascism problem but they make some good lean

the geography is also good for what comes next

• finish writing my buldak recipe for my insta followers
• figure out how to get off the NSA watchlist
• find good uses for a corpse (buldak ingredients???)
• get more wood beams, that last cave-in almost killed me

花吐き? more like 花-hoochie coochie

the way i got lilacs

comin out my boochie

ya hear me? うんing more 相槌

the way i drop ten racks

to buy more fuckin gucci

裏口? more like ur a moochie

the way i arch my back

(i use arch btw)

on another girl for her smoochie

ウチはイタチ? more like cotija hibachi chef dr who missy

the way i wear stüssy

dragging on that stiiizy

レモネードスタンドで

広いD穴を熱く売り

なんEだ、ゲイですげぇ

選挙Nした総統は来たいふり

俺をY殺してほしい、でもやべえ

ゴングメじゃなかったりカンティスレイじゃなかったり

だけど、「いらっしゃいませ」

「ようこそ、俺のまんこに」

やったね

けど、だれが明日復讐できるの？

多分んマリオマンジョーネ

けど、だれが明後日マリオを骨上げするの？

多分ウィキウィキシシメムイビディビファックユーだけ

終わりがないよ、こうも総統のこともよ

• find a poison with a similar effect to hanahaki
• counterpoint: donnie has a wife (loveless marriage???)
• did donnie darko have celiacs? comorbid with schizophrenia?
• find my ex-wife's new address and dox her again
• keep digging
• ignore the voices
• do not take any food offered
• do not talk to them
• keep digging

i get more head than a guillotine

and spray more ass than a bidet

i see more pretty faces than hustler magazine

and eat more meat than lee chalamet

i slay more bitches than PETA

and got more breast than KFC

i’ll make you cum as fast as a motherfuckin cheetah

deforest your cock while singing how bad can i possibly be

call me spice queen

licking curry powder off your dick

balls to the walls

reigen slept above his station

babeygirl reigen

gonna take the black to avoid castration

call it fire and ice

when i yank his necklace and then make him sick

it slips off as he arches his back and turns into a hag

(i use arch btw)

call you chalamet and hide your gom jabbar in my cumsock

paul atreides pop figurine in the cum jar got me feeling gone

(i’ve been gone; why don’t you fuck amber heard?)

amber heard pop figurine on the stove while i’m listening to bach

i’ll write smutfic, vaporeon getting fucked by a trump pokémon

truth or dare? i’ll be your broodmare

(i told you not to stare) D

i dare you to eat my pussy like an archipelago

(i use arch btw) E

it’s why my balls hang low

(i’ve been gone) P

rolling joints in the airplane bathroom on the way to the archipelago

archipelago: mar-a-lago

hotel: trivago

(you’re such a fucking hoe) O

book a flight to palm beach in the archipelago

(or a peninsula?) S

hula the penis till the pelican arch its back

(i use arch btw) E

(me bleeding out on the floor, to secret service: “i told you not to stare”)

• step 47
• now that the sauce is done, throw it away
• i know you did it wrong
• redo it all from scratch, start over again from step 24
• step 48
• drink the new batch of sauce straight
• snort the flakes
• eat the noodles sauceless

roid rage, freud mage

cast a spell on richard hell

fuck that open-floor plan esophagus of mami

(what the fuck's a lommy?)

how i met your mother part 2

joking about a folie à deux

sayaka akatsuki pookie bear

(i told you not to stare)

bidoof boofed by doofenshmirtz

wanna eat my pussy? then serve

help the floor like a whore

ain’t a chore, don’t disappoint

(in the airplane bathroom, rollin a joint)

your roastbeef pussy loose like andalus

i’m the lord protectorate of the six kingdoms

and hawaii gonna annex japan

it’s gonna be kawaii when i put

the bleach on your asshole

eat it since i’m watching bleach

with my hand in my asshole

and drinking bleach

so i stop feeling like a motherfuckin asshole

(fruit gushers by the foot)

drill serveant pussy make me go AWOL

her favorite album is nostalgia critic’s the wall

serve that seizure salad with a side of octopus twerk

drop and give her twenty licks to get the to the center of her mall

my dream is for the oldest view to be where i work

my pussy taste sweet like amaretto

my pussy has a cult like jared leto

bitch get my dick wet like hurricane katrina

bitch kill quintillions like alternian meenah

(fuck a hoe juggalo chugjug some roe pokémon go twerk those toes)

earth 1’s meenah equivalent grabbed me by the pussy

his raw masculine energy got me feeling wussy

sissy kink got me thinking about tariffs and trannies

so i miss it when he slits my throat and downs some xannies

(what the fuck’s a lommy?)

• is it possible to delete my address from google maps?
• at least start with all my personal accounts
• submit the big mac to a lab for testing
• make completely sure they aren’t watched
• set up a full backup of every executive order
• include previous presidents just in case
• get my affairs in order in case i don’t come back
• make sure NONE of my stuff goes to my ex-wife

the white house is gone

i wanna fuck john

john arbuckle gonna make me a furry

john locke’s cock gonna paralyze my prostate

johnny joestar gonna spin my balls until i’m an apostate

jon snow’s sword is really big and hairy and scary

john wick’s dick gonna slay my pussy cuz he got that dog in him

i made a johnny bravo character in the fuckin sims

Medna mode is a

A          edna mode is a

K                 edna mode is a

E                         edna mode is a

revive the age of the übermensch like edna mode

gotham gonna get the hero it deserve but it does not well bode

hacking into vsauce to upload our sextape like edna mode

i’ve been installing arch linux for eight months straight, forgot the code

save the life and ruin the death like edna mode

we’re on month nine being the space player, i’m birthing a toad

using arch btw like edna fucking motherfucking fucking mode

…and guest

jarvis, name guest “don” (where is the white house?)

touch his balls G like edna mode

slap his balls R like edna mode

let’s groove E tonight

share the A spice of life

snort T the spice off a knife

the knife pointed at him in my dressing room

hide his body in the closet and get on stage to goon

come back and my chest is bleeding like edna mode

the body is missing like edna mode

he comes back and smirks like edna mode (where is the white house?)

jump off the false cliff like edna mode

thomas shows mama faux pas de deux messes quelle foutoir edna mode

en mon boudoir fight a war à noir trump pop figurine cumjar edna mode

mes plumes tombent aux minuits we queef on weed au autrui edna mode

richard alpert edna mode jacob edna mode (where is the white house?)

he smirks like edna mode he smirks like edna mode he smirks

he twerks and smirks and jerks and smirks (where is the white house?)

like edna mode (bleed out AGAIN) like edna mode

• if you can read this, turn around
• if you were looking for this building, don’t tell anyone you saw it
• otherwise, whatever you’re looking for is not here
• i checked

call this slender man the way we got eight pages

but when the ninth page hit, it’s gonna get outrageous

call this slender man on page nine sign ☮︎ the times

but now he’s only formerly known due to andrey duskin’s crimes

call this dick the gold experience

(i told you not to stare)

but now slender man got that pussy in control

call my endless lavender squirt purple rain the way it purple rain

this is what it’s like when

call the CEO of the international house of pussy

after this convo he’s flying off the 18th floor balcony all cunty

all stunty and strutting moonwalking the air

i got a reservation at michael jackson’s mansion

(i told you not to stare)

take a nap with michael jackson

wake up to slender man

wait, no, that’s just my sleep paralysis demon with benefits

i’m just straight up relaxin

reach for my cock but the illusion drowns

no paralysis, and his skin is orange and vitiligo-less

when they find our bodies, they’ll frame orange juice simpson for it

they’ll reënact epstein and put him in the next bioshock infinite

(i told you not to stare)

• if you can find the ellipse, please get out and find my ex-wife
• her name is taylor swift; tell her she’s ugly
• she’ll probably cry but it’s fine, she likes crying
• less importantly, try to get my house condemned
• assuming it hasn’t already been, but i mean, you’re here
• if you can no longer find the ellipse, you’re stuck here
• do not go into the oval office

maybe there’s porn of her, maybe it’s maybelline

drinking folgers when she’s on my peen

acknowledge our bond and burn the book

oinking loud when she grapple my hook

give her my pine tree and shoot a star

she pulls my singular chest hair in the back of a car

the guy from glee grabs the zipper in his forehead          (where is the

makes like spongebob gorilla and the slitheen                 white house?)

downing two screwdrivers when i see his sheen

he draws his needle and thread (what the fuck’s a lommy?)

go to that part before the church in getting over it and drop dead

hexagons always beat triangles (what the fuck’s a lommy?)

• explore any other room
• hang out in the kitchen, eat their pantry
• but thou shalt not taste of the fruit of that forbidden room
• stay away from the attic, beau

the stalker is two rooms back

he didn’t W want anywhere near here

they told A me not to stare, but it’s hard to resist

orange L like the statue of liberty

strong L like a leafless cancerous tree

(i don’t understand)

elected like it’s russia, though at this point

scrolling through media

they told me not to stare

• if you do go there, whatever you do, don’t stare

devoid waitstaff, floating glasses

mcdonalds-wrapped catering visible but only in the corners of the eye

vibrating carpets of every carpetous and non-carpetous texture

walls painted every color of every color of every color of every

i no longer remember what the word oval is supposed to mean

wishing i drank more gin in the kitchen on the way here

• but, just, please hang out in the kitchen
• make some buldak
• take it all in

wishing i stayed a bit in the porn room on the way here

it’s the room where all the walls look like they’re fucking you

i think i saw eight clones of vladimir putin in there

but under certain LED lights they look like rotating gallbladders

wishing i stayed any other room than here

i can’t figure out if the flames i see are on the room or my pupils

• this is all there is now
• and who can ever say they’ve come down from the surface,
• and seen the shadows on the cave walls as more than shadows?
• we can
• nobody else
• savor them

scrolling media and vibrating limbs and rotating without moving

the room seems more like a wall-free balcony

the sun stares

they told me not to stare

(don’t tell me what i can’t do)

there is no light yet every detail is visible

the sun smirks

• step 32
• put the vas deferens into the blood, muddle it
• add rose petals if available
• step 33
• rethink your life
• you’re trying to home-make cheap instant ramen noodles
• you’re not even doing it for weeb reasons, buldak is korean
• have you met god?                          (i don’t understand)
• he would like a word with you         (what the fuck’s a lommy?)
• he has a message and a plan          (i told you not to stare)
• there is a promised land                 (i’ve been gone)
• and a chosen band                         (i use arch btw)
• cocky want boing boing                 (where is the light house?)

“jacob sent me”

(i warned the american people years ago, i warned them that jacob does not have our interests at heart, that he is a very bad man who lives for evil and for the dissolution of the middle class, total phony)

“so staring is fine?”

(you know, it’s actually very easy being a complete winner, always winning, but all the fake news flying is such a shame, such a shame)

“…you will answer a question?”

(i’ve answered at least three already, at least three, maybe even four)

• if you do go inside, do not talk to him

“where will your bones go? and where will mine?)

(i use arch btw”

Chapter Text

never trust a skinny chef, or an uninked tattoo artist?

what about dry bartenders and dry whores?

they get others drenched but not themselves?

what are they planning?

who are they stanning?

turns out my sex therapist is a fucking virgin

and my accountant lets H&R block do his taxes

and my doctor has AIDs from his bug chasing days

they must be planning something

they must be stanning someone

when does my manager leave his desk?

when does the librarian have time to read?

why do my psychic’s tarot decks look like etsy bootlegs?

where’s all this energy going?

what kind of grass are they mowing?

page of swords, reversed

ark of the covenant, unearthed

the pope, impeached by his cardinals

this energy can’t keep building up forever

this grass can only grow a certain height before it falls

my blu-ray of bee movie is scratched up

it skips all the courtroom scenes

i got my pussy slammed for free on planet sheen

when will it stop, and when will it bend?

who’s on the list, and what’s the next trend?