Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

BANG!

The door to his room slammed open. Which wasn't meant to happen, considering he placed all sorts of spells on it to prevent people from disturbing his murky bubble of despair and misery. Guess that shows how much he's weakened since…

…

Angry stomping approached the pit of shadows he called his bed and a pair of hands yanked him up by the ruffled collar. In one sudden movement, Shadow Milk Cookie was face to face with an enraged subordinate.

Normally he would've punished him dearly for such a slight — but Black Sapphire normally wouldn't have ever done something like this either. 

Alas, nothing has been normal for the past couple of weeks…

“Listen,” the boy — because he will always see him as that boy from eons ago — nearly growled in his face. “I don’t care if you're depressed. I don't care if you're my boss. Nobody makes my sister cry and gets away with it.”

…what?

Shadow Milk blinked, a moment of clarity piercing through the haze enveloping his mind.

Candy Apple Cookie was crying? He made her cry?

Time slowed around the pair as he tried to remember the exact what and when. The days seemed to blur lately, hours flowing by without his notice, most of which Shadow Milk Cookie spent drifting. But can you really blame him?

Sleep was filled with nightmares. Living felt like too much effort. Too often does he wish the darkness could just swallow him whole and end his existence. But what awaits him after death terrified him still, and no amount of preaching from Mystic Flour Cookie would change his mind.

So he simply subsists. A shell of his former glorious self, wrapped in his shadows in an attempt to simulate oblivion. It was far from peace – he can hide from the world, never from his thoughts – but it was the best option he had.

Though now he recognised that he had been short-sighted. Again.

Right, Candy Apple Cookie was trying to get him to eat that morning. The shadows let her enter the room without much effort. She had been carrying a platter of assorted jellies.

She talked – about what, he can't remember – and she tried to play some cards with him. He just lay there, lost in his own thoughts, no indication of having even noticed her presence. She then coaxed him to take a bite, begged him “please, Master Shadow Milk, just a single jelly, just a little nibble?”

He ignored her. She left.

Time started to flow again.

“I'm sorry…” Shadow Milk Cookie hung his head in shame. “I'll go talk to her.”

“You better,” Black Sapphire Cookie hissed, roughly shoving him back onto the bed. “You’re lucky you might be the only other thing I hold in almost equal importance. Or else I wouldn't be giving you a chance to do something about it before I try my best to fucking kill you.”

He threw a pillow at Shadow Milk’s face for good measure before marching away. 

The jester sighed, bringing his hands to his face and digging the base of his palms onto his eyes.

“Look at what you've done to me,” he whispered to no one. The shadows did not answer.

A moment was spared to continue wallowing in despair before he took a deep inhale and put on what he used fondly to call his “game face”. Sly grin and silly demeanor, he only took a passing glance at the broken mirror as he floated out of the room.

He didn't need to look that long to know that the smile doesn't quite reach his eyes.

Candy Apple was a ball of boundless energy as usual once she caught sight of him, syrup carefully applied to distract from the obvious signs of tears. Her brother stood menacingly behind her, arms crossed and gaze deadly.

Neither directly addressed each other, making the girl the start of today's show.

Somehow Shadow Milk Cookie ended up kneeling on the floor, like a commoner begging for the queen’s forgiveness. She always did love her roleplaying.

“— aaand you'll get me that new dress!” Candy Apple Cookie demanded with a smug grin, hands on her hips as she stood over him.

“Of course, your highness,” he dramatically venerated, secretly rolling his eyes with a hint of amusement forming on his lips.

He could see Black Sapphire Cookie nodding with approval in the corner of the room, though still looking a tiny bit murderous. 

He gets it, really. These two were his responsibility, they depended on him. He was supposed to take care of them, not the other way around. He can't just stop functioning like that when—

Shadow Milk Cookie caught himself thinking like a certain someone, taking responsibility and stuff like that. He closed his eyes and took a sharp inhale through his teeth when he realized it.

He could feel the shadows around him spike for a split second before retreating. When he opened his eyes, he found both siblings staring at him with concern.

He flashed them his best smile.

He knew something that Shadow Milk didn't. The damn coward must have had some sort of vision and he won't speak a word of it. He knows why he’s choosing to stay silent too. The man can't lie for shit.

“Alright then, be that way,” Shadow Milk Cookie huffed, banishing him back into his room with a flick of his staff. “How ungrateful. I spare his life and this is how he treats me…”

He couldn't deny that he did feel better after getting some sunlight and fresh air, but he sure as hell wouldn't say it out loud. Black Sapphire was already a smug bitch before he's proven right.

Shadow Milk hadn't literally touched grass today yet, no matter how many times both siblings half-joked that he should. Nonsense, he was wearing a really nice dress today and wouldn't risk getting it stained green by some stupid weeds.

The town square was quite busy, hosting a large variety of cookies from all over Crispia. He could easily pick out which ones were tourists and which ones were locals by their outfits alone and was making it into a game with Candy Apple when some random toddler (because he does not believe for a second that this guy's older than five ) appeared out of nowhere.

The nosy child asked why he had eyes in his hair and if that meant he could see behind him. 

Shadow Milk subtly looked over himself to check his shapeshifting. He definitely still looked like a young mother: navy sundress, pale dough and zero eyes in her white hair.

The fuck??

He— Ahem, she looked back up and met eyes with Candy— uhhh… currently Apple Faerie Cookie , who stared at her in panic as the kid that seems to be a prince started asking if her neck ever hurt from the weight of her hair ornaments.

“—’coz Wizard Cookie said a real crown would be made of solid gold and jewels, which would make it very heavy, and I was wondering how to prepare myself for that. I'm gonna be a king, you know?”

Witches . This was the first time in a long while that Shadow Milk went out willingly. Why did she have to run into the friend of a past enemy in some random town?

To make matters worse, an annoyingly familiar voice called out from the crowd.

“Custard Cookie III! Please don't run off on your own again…” White Lily Cookie hurriedly approached the child and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Oh, hello there—”

Her breath hitched as her eyes landed on Apple Faerie, and she tensed even more when she noticed him . She immediately positioned herself in front of Custard Cookie III.

“Hey, why don't you meet back with Gingerbrave and the others?” She gently pushed him a few steps back. “I'll just talk to these kind people for a mo—”

“Ah, no need, no need!” Shadow Milk interjected, laughing nervously and grabbing Apple Faerie Cookie’s hand. “We'll be on our way!”

He was just about to make his disappearing act when he found that he couldn't lift his feet off the ground. Slightly lifting his skirt revealed vines growing from the cracks on the street, twisting and curling around his ankle.

“You are not leaving this place…” White Lily muttered quietly, tightening the grip on her staff as Custard Cookie III obliviously went on his merry way. 

“ Oh please! For the first time in my insanely long life, I don't want to cause a scene and you're trying to make one. Always a pain in the ass, you,” Shadow Milk rolled his eyes as he let go of his skirt with a huff.

“I won't let you get away after what you've done to Pure Vanilla Cookie!” she hissed, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

And just like that, the bite left him. He heard his name and all of a sudden he was just so, so tired. 

“Listen, I'm really not in the mood. I just wanna have a nice day out with my kid, and it seems you were doing the same thing before all of this,” he gently pulled Apple Faerie a little bit closer. “So why don't we just go our separate ways and pretend this never happened, hm? Although, if you really wanna fight here… ” 

Shadow Milk Cookie vaguely motioned his hands at the bustling street full of civilians. Truth be told, didn't want to fight – he had neither the will nor the energy – but he had to say something so she'd leave him alone.

Predictably, she fell for the threat.

White Lily hesitated, glancing around the town square before making up her mind. She marched up to him purposefully and leaned in just close enough to whisper.

“The next time I see you, one of us will crumble.”

Shadow Milk Cookie simply raised an eyebrow in response. She glared at him for a few more seconds before swiftly turning on her heel and walking away. He stayed on the spot and watched for a moment, even as the pressure on his ankles left with her.

“Shadow Milk?” Apple Faerie tugged on his hand after about a minute. “Are you alright…?”

“Yeah, I'm…” he cleared his throat. “I'm fine… Anyways! Where's that ice cream shop you were talking about? Let's see if their blueberry flavor can beat the one at…”

Chapter Text

"You should get out more often."

"I already went out with Candy Apple recently."

"Oh please, that was three weeks ago," Black Sapphire Cookie flicked the card towards the discard pile, earning a grumble from Shadow Milk Cookie who drew two cards from the deck. "You said you'd travel the world once the seal is broken."

"You forget who you're talking to."

"It's "Master of Deceit", not "Master of Broken Promises"," Black Sapphire dropped another attack card. "We were supposed to travel together."

"And go where?" Shadow Milk put down a nope card. His opponent placed another nope on top of it. He cursed and took another two cards. "I'm a fugitive. Last time I went out, someone recognized me immediately."

"A child, who happens to be a descendant of Pure—"

Black Sapphire Cookie stopped the rest of his sentence as every bit of Shadow Milk Cookie's form started to shake. Shadows grew from every corner of the room, the temperature dropping so fast that the younger cookie's breaths started misting within seconds. He raised his hands in surrender, frowning.

"Shadow Milk—"

"Shut up," the jester said quietly before disappearing in a bubble of darkness, playing cards flying everywhere as he left. 

"Damn it," Black Sapphire Cookie sighed as he started to clean up what's left of their game.

Shadow Milk Cookie zoomed through the halls, carelessly knocking down any decors and creatures on his path. He regretted what he was doing the moment he did it, but that wasn't enough to make him stop. But he did have enough sense to go outside so he could unleash his destructive feelings away from what belonged to him.

The anger was back and as terrible as it always had been, but for now he embraced it, welcomed it even. Even this was better than the despair that tormented him constantly.

Look at him, losing his shit at the mere mention of a name. Everything about that man used to repulse him before it turned into something that made him happy. Now that happiness was gone and perceiving anything related to that man made him want to shrivel up and die.

He should've known. Nothing good ever stays in his life.

It wasn't until he was already past the Ivory Pagoda that he realized he was headed towards the kingdom where he met the boy from yesterday. Only then did his rampage simmer down into a quiet fuming.

On one hand, Shadow Milk was a cookie of rationale and knew could simply just turn around and leave if he wanted to. On the other, however…

Matters of Destiny may be a softer and more unpredictable kind but they are still widely considered in the academic field as a force of the universe that does contain some meaning, albeit often ambiguous.

So basically, accidentally flying towards that kingdom when he wasn't paying attention might be a call of fate (for what, he had no idea). But he still had free will and could choose to ignore it. And whichever he chooses, however it plays out, is the way it's meant to be for this timeline.

…

You know what? Screw it, Shadow Milk Cookie was going to find out more about this random kid who's somehow building an entire kingdom from thousand-year-old ruins.

He still found it very difficult to see what's so special about that cookie. The only qualities he could see was that he's short, naive, kinda rich and very arrogant. Who in their right mind would make him king?

Something about their previous interaction made him want to know more about him. Or, more specifically, know how the frickity frack the little brat saw through his disguise.

Well, Black Sapphire mentioned something about Custard Cookie III's doughline…

Right. He had forgotten that that guy gave a small part of his Life Powder some generations ago to help an underbaked cookie, who later became the premier for his kingdom. That cookie then gave part of his life powder to bake another, who then gave part of his life powder to bake Custard Cookie III.

Which might explain how the imp could see through Shadow Milk’s illusions.

""But if you know why he has that ability, why are you still following him?" the audience asks. To be honest, Shadow Milk Cookie has no idea either," he quietly narrated to himself when he arrived at his destination, instantly catching sight of the cookie in question. "Perhaps if the show goes on, we will find out!"

He blended within the shadows cast by the numerous trees at the forest’s edge, observing from the distance. Custard Cookie III was alone, again. It seemed like besides eyes of truth, he also had the ability to easily sneak away from his guardians. 

He was playing with a cakehound, feeding it half of the sandwich he brought and attempting to teach it some tricks. He wasn't making much progress.

From what little he'd seen, the kid was a bit impatient with other cookies, but none of that could be found with his interactions with the canine. And with the freshly-baked cookie brought by Gingerbrave and co. Although that still doesn't make it okay to make him a surrogate at such a young age... not that Shadow Milk Cookie cared.

It seemed like his spiraling thoughts got the best of him yet again, as he didn't notice that the topic of his thoughts was coming closer to his hiding spot until he was already talking to him.

"Hi! I've been expecting you!" Custard Cookie III enthusiastically waved towards the shadow of the large willow tree that Shadow Milk Cookie hid in. 

The beast cursed himself in his head and desperately tried to stay still, hoping to blend in more and make the cookie think it was just a trick of the light.

"Come on now, I can still see you!" Alas, his efforts seemed unsuccessful as Custard Cookie III poked the grass with the end of his makeshift scepter, cakehound bundled in his other arm. "I just wanna talk for a bit!"

Shadow Milk Cookie groaned and finally dropped the act. The child took a few steps back as dark, viscous liquid flowed up from the shadows, coalescing into a mass that looked more cookie-like every second. Custard Cookie III watched in fascination as the blob took form.

"What do you want?" Shadow Milk's tone was laced with irritation. He floated down to take a seat on the grass as talking to the young cookie was hurting his neck from looking down. This way, they were (almost) eye-to-eye.

"I just have a couple questions, I won't take long," Custard Cookie III hummed as he absent-mindedly pet the cakehound. "Your name is Shadow Milk Cookie, right?"

"Yesn't."

"Huh...?"

"I wasn't baked with the name Shadow Milk Cookie, but that's what everyone calls me now, I guess."

With a wave of his own scepter, Shadow Milk Cookie summoned a false sheep plushie to lean on. He had a feeling this would, in fact, take long. He wasn't entirely sure why he offered up the truth just like that, or why he was even entertaining this impromptu Q&A. Maybe there really was something special about this kid.

He wondered why he didn't feel threatened by it.

Still, he didn't answer when Custard Cookie III asked him what his name used to be. It was too private, too fresh a wound that still stung even after millennia had passed. None of it seemed to faze the child, though, who easily started asking other things when he refused to elaborate.

"White Lily Cookie said I shouldn't trust you, but you don't seem to be dangerous," the cakehound in Custard Cookie III's grasp started wriggling, and he gently let it back down. The pair watched as it ran off back into the forest. "You're actually pretty nice!"

"Oh, I'm plenty not-nice. I'm just..." Just what? Shadow Milk didn't really know. He didn't feel angry anymore. "I'm just tired, I guess."

"Of being not-nice?"

"If that's what you want to believe," he sighed and twirled the scepter in his palms. This got Custard Cookie III's attention, who immediately demanded to be taught how. The rest of the afternoon was spent doing exactly that, and teaching the kid other sleight of hand tricks to show his friends.

Shadow Milk Cookie had to admit — even if only to himself — that he was actually having fun. It's strange how he was starting to find the little brat quite endearing. Maybe Black Sapphire was right, maybe he did have a soft spot for children.

A few hours later, Custard Cookie III was not only able to twirl his own scepter between his hands, but was also able to throw it in the air and catch it with 99% accuracy. The boy's energy was contagious; Shadow Milk Cookie found himself genuinely happy for the first time in months.

But alas, fun as it had been, he cannot stretch time outside the Spire.

"It's almost sundown, shouldn't you go back home?" he reminded.

"Oh! Right, I should get going," Custard Cookie III started fixing his appearance, giving quick thanks when Shadow Milk summoned a mirror for him. "I... have one last question though..."

Shadow Milk hummed, noticing the sudden change in demeanor. Custard Cookie III fidgeted with his scepter, tracing a circle on the grass with one foot.

“Everyone keeps telling me that Pure Vanilla is on some important mission in Beast Yeast...” the young cookie said quietly, eyes firmly planted on the ground. “But he's not really coming back, is he?”

Ah.

…

The sound of his name still made him ache so much that he fears he'd crumble on the spot. Even so, Shadow Milk Cookie can't find it within himself to be angry like he was with everybody else.

He considered his next words carefully. The kid knew everybody had been lying to him. And he approached Shadow Milk Cookie of all people, expecting him to tell the truth?

How naive.

And yet…

“No,” Shadow Milk said quietly. “He isn't.”

“I figured,” Custard Cookie III sighed.

The child started to dig around for something in his pockets as he approached the older cookie. Having found whatever it was he was looking for, he stretched out a closed fist. Curious, Shadow Milk Cookie offered a palm, and a small token was gently — almost reverently — pressed into it.

An old vanilla orchid locket.

“It's his,” Custard Cookie III’s voice was solemn, much like a lone soul in an empty church. “I thought you should have it.”

Shadow Milk Cookie muttered his thanks as the young cookie left. He fell asleep that night still holding it.

"Shadow Milk Cookie."

"Yeeess?"

"...I-I think I'm…" the rest of the sentence faded away. Shadow Milk Cookie drifted closer, gently grabbing him by the chin to tilt up his head. Yet even now, his other half still refused to look him in the eye.

"Hmm? I can't hear you with all that mumbling, you know!"

"...never mind."

“Why are you trying so hard to train that one?” he asked on the tenth time they were hanging out. Or was it the eleventh? Shadow Milk wasn’t entirely sure.

Somehow, some way, he found himself getting attached, meeting with Custard Cookie III semi-regularly over the past few months. There was one weekend he went to the kingdom’s edge and waited an entire day until he was finally convinced that the brat wasn’t coming, getting so upset he destroyed his room and renovated the entire thing afterwards. Don’t ask him why because he won’t give you an exact answer.

Nonetheless, the child somehow noticed this (damn those eyes of truth) and promised to send him a letter in advance if he wasn’t going to make it. And Shadow Milk’s gotta admit, their blueberry birds were another breed entirely — somehow they would always find him wherever the heck he goes (including in the other-realm??).

Both Candy Apple and Black Sapphire were thrilled that he had been leaving the Spire more often, even if that meant less time with the former.

"It's okay, you need more friends!" was what she said. He still wasn't sure if he'd count the kid as a friend, although he knew the kid definitely saw him as one.

There were times that Shadow Milk Cookie caught himself looking for Pure Vanilla within Custard Cookie III. Maybe that's what made him come back at first, but now it felt like he was doing both of them an injustice when he thought like that. Why he even cared about the ethics of his private thoughts still eludes him.

He'd been acting strange since the Incident, even in the depths of his denial he could notice that. He was changed fundamentally as a person and he didn't quite know what to do with himself. He drifted from one day to the next, hoping that eternity would pass him by and sweep him along when he finally crumbled.

Meeting Custard Cookie III helped, giving him something else to do and think about. The kid was somewhat insightful behind all that bravado he puts on. Shadow Milk was even genuinely starting to believe that he'd make a great king.

“Oh, well, funny story actually…” Custard Cookie III scratched his pet(?) cakehound behind the ear. “A few years ago, some bad guys took the ruined kingdom’s crown and got a cakehound to take it away. I was hoping that if I made friends with this one, he could tell the other one to give the crown back!”

… truly naive. But also kinda sweet? Shadow Milk was unsure what to say about that.

“Did you give it a name?” was what he resorted to instead. 

“Yup! I call him Alphonse!” The cakehound’s strawberry ears perked up at the mention of its name, its tail-wagging intensifying. The kid laughed and gave it another piece of jellyberry. “He still refuses to live with me though. Maybe he has a family to go back to.”

Or an owner, Shadow Milk Cookie thought, having noticed that this one seemed to look much neater than other wild cakehounds. He decided to keep this opinion to himself.

He knows he’s not very… good with children. How the siblings turned up was a huge indication of that — and even if they technically raised themselves and each other, he still had a huge part in how they grew up.

He was mean and miserable and loved to make people cry. He had a lot of fun tormenting Gingerbrave and his friends. Even before the Fall, he never really was parent material.

But maybe if he looked at it in a different perspective, a mentor and a mentee, he could be a good adult with Custard Cookie III. After all those people he failed, all those students who fled and died and ruined their lives, maybe he could get his shit together for this one.

However, this entire setup creates a new problem: how can he continue to be a part of this child's life when he and his other guardian hated each other’s guts?

Shadow Milk had been invited to come to the kingdom proper multiple times already and each time he refused out of… fear? Distaste? He wasn't sure. All he knows is he DID NOT want to run into White Lily Cookie again. Or the three other kids in her custody.

“Do you know you have a “worrying face”?” Custard Cookie III’s voice cut into his spiral of thoughts. “Your face goes all blank when you're thinking deeply, like this!”

The child then tries to emulate the expression as best he could, gaze turning flat and mouth becoming passive. It was uncanny, watching the literal sparkles in his eyes disappear. His facial structure was eerily similar to… him. At that time.

“Don't do that, you're creeping me out,” while Shadow Milk’s tone was exaggerated, the shudder that followed was not. “And how are you even sure that I'm worrying? You a mind reader or something?”

“I know what a “worrying face” is coz White Lily Cookie does that too,” the kid happily pointed out.

“Ugh, please don't ever say that again.”

“You're actually very similar in a lot of ways—”

“Nope! I don't wanna hear it!”

“C'mon, you two would make great friends!”

“I will leave if you don't stop!”

“Liar, you said that last time!!”

Chapter Text

Just when he was starting to think that Custard Cookie III was actually pretty smart, the little brat goes ahead and does something like this. Though one could say he does learn quickly, seeing as he managed to deceive Shadow Milk Cookie himself.

"Yeah, uhh... I'm just gonna go..." he tried slipping his hand out of the child's grasp, but Custard Cookie III levelled him with a glare that could rival Black Sapphire's. Still, it wasn't nearly as scary as the one White Lily Cookie was donning right now.

"I'm sorry, your highness, but what is the meaning of this?" she asked. Even though her face looked like a storm brewing, her voice was gentle as she addressed the young cookie. "Please come over here, I told you he's dangerous—"

"No."

White Lily paused.

"Custard Cookie—"

"As the future king of this kingdom, I ask you to listen to me," Custard Cookie III huffed and pulled on Shadow Milk Cookie's arm, motioning for him to sit down. "And I ask you to trust my judgement. Shadow Milk is my friend."

Said cookie was still reeling as he sat criss-cross applesauce, desperately hoping this was just another nightmare. He wondered if that bit of wisdom he saw in the kid was a just trick of the light, because it certainly wasn't very wise to invite him on a picnic with White Lily Cookie .

He wanted to make a face, but Custard Cookie III somehow predicted this and, to White Lily's mortification and satisfaction, lightly kicked him on the leg.

"Be civil," he huffed as he gracefully sat on the picnic blanket, positioned like a negotiator between the two. He didn't seem to notice the tension in the air as he started taking out items from the picnic basket, but Shadow Milk could tell that he was simply ignoring it.

If he stopped breathing for a few seconds, Shadow Milk Cookie could see how White Lily Cookie was shaking almost imperceptibly. Out of rage, most likely. If looks could crumble, he'd be flour on the spot.

He distantly wondered if Mystic Flour would find that joke funny.

"This is an intervention. I know that you two are not on the best of terms," Custard Cookie III began to lather copious amounts of toffee jam on a piece of hearty rye. "But you are both my dear friends, and I would like you to get along just enough to stop ranting to me about each other."

Just as Shadow Milk Cookie was about to retort, the brat shoved the fresh sandwich into his open mouth.

"No talking with your mouth full!" he giggled lightly. "Now, where was I..."

Shadow Milk had to repress the urge to spit the bread at the smug look on White Lily's face. But the kid won't appreciate that, so he resorted to begrudgingly eating it.

"Ah, right!" Custard Cookie III clapped his hands together. "Shadow Milk Cookie, you probably didn't know this since you don't come near the kingdom anyways, but you were kinda... uh.. banned from the kingdom. Which I rectified last night by putting up a royal decree! Which states that you’re unbanned now."

Shadow Milk Cookie just shrugged and gave him a thumbs up of gratitude, even as he felt dread creeping up his spine.

"And this is where you come in, White Lily Cookie!" Custard Cookie III handed her a sandwich. "I'm gonna be a bit busy today, so I want you to give him a tour!"

Shadow Milk Cookie sputtered, almost choking on his own sandwich. Custard Cookie III quickly pressed a glass of sweet jelly juice into his hands.

" Excuse me?! " Shadow Milk Cookie accusingly pointed the glass towards White Lily once he was done with it. "You want me to stay with this bitch the whole day?!"

"Language!" she hissed, before turning to Custard Cookie III with a pleading expression. "Your highness, forgive me for my impudence, but you must be joking..."

"If you are, it's not fucking funny," Shadow Milk grumbled as he took another bite. White Lily looked downright murderous, but he only responded by sticking out his tongue.

"I assure you, I am not," the little brat looked a bit too happy about how things were going. "I'd love to stick around, but I really am going to be busy. Why not catch two fish with one net? Shadow Milk Cookie can get to look around and you two can get to know each other!"

Smiling brighter than the sun, he grabbed one wrist from each cookie and forced a hand-shake that quickly turned into a "who can snap the other's hand off" contest. Shadow Milk Cookie swore he felt a miniscule crack on his dough.

"Now, promise me that you'll try to get along?" Custard Cookie III urged.

"I..." White Lily Cookie looked like she'd rather die. "Alright... I'll try."

"Shadow Milk Cookie?"

His enthusiasm made said cookie want to bury himself into the ground.

"Ugh, fine, whatever. You should be grateful that I like you."

Their hands repelled like magnets of the same pole as soon as Custard Cookie III let go.

Truthless Recluse almost never initiated physical contact. But when he did... It was strange, the things it did to him.

"Shadow Milk Cookie..." he whispered. "I’m in love with you..."

It took him a moment to register the statement, too caught up with the fact that Truthless Recluse was holding his hand. So soft... so gentle... so loving indeed. He had long forgotten what it felt like.

"Do you?" he said, a nervous giggle escaping him. He doesn’t really know how to react. He doesn’t remember the last time he felt like this. “W-what if I don’t love you back?”

“Shadow Milk Cookie… you already do.”

His hand was brought up towards lips, and finally, finally , Truthless Recluse looked him in the eye.

"Ugh, I fucking hate this—"

"Are you truly incapable of not swearing every few sentences?"

"Fuck. Shit. Bitch. Ass—" Shadow Milk Cookie wanted to say a few more choice words, but then he started spitting out entire heads of flowers that the blasted woman summoned inside his mouth.

White Lily Cookie leaned against her staff and watched in amusement as this went on for a full minute.

" Blegh , is this how you treat guests around these parts??" he huffed as he spat out the last of the flower petals.

"No, this is how we treat malicious entities with dirty mouths," she smirked and turned away. "Keep up, we're heading to the farms next."

Shadow Milk Cookie quietly mock-imitated her words as he followed behind her.

The strange pair had a mostly event-free walk through the kingdom, what with everyone giving them a wide berth. Despite Custard Cookie III's decree that he was now a friend of the kingdom, the local cookies still seemed either intimidated, cautious or downright antagonistic towards their newest addition. They avoided him like the plague, which was fine by him.

People were annoying. Especially this one.

"If you're done looking around, it's time to go visit the factories," White Lily Cookie said less than a minute after they arrived at the cotton sheep pastures. 

"So eager to get this shit done?" Shadow Milk scoffed as he knelt down to get the animals' attention. Neither of them were enjoying this, but he could at least make it suck more for her. "I'm not done looking around."

She muttered to herself as she crossed her arms, impatiently tapping on the ground with her foot. Shadow Milk ignored her in favor of coaxing the sheep to approach, thinking back on the wolf-sheep he made for Candy Apple Cookie's birthday.

"Hey," he called out to his – ugh – companion. "Were Candy Apple and Black Sapphire banned too?"

"What do you think?" White Lily sniffed.

"Were they unbanned ?"

"Why don't you find out for yourself?"

Shadow Milk Cookie clicked his tongue in annoyance. The stupid sheep didn't dare come any closer, probably intimidated by his spiky appearance. He looked too much like a wolf as he was.

Without another thought, he transformed into a younger cookie's form, all round shapes and soft edges. This seemed to calm them down enough to consider.

But before he could reach out and pet the fuzzy little things, a wall of vines suddenly sprouted in front of him and started heralding the sheep back towards the barn. Enraged, Shadow Milk slipped back into his original form to face White Lily.

"The fuck is your problem?!"

"Custard Cookie III wanted me to give you a tour today , and I would very much like to complete it within the day ," she shot back. "I don't want to see your face any longer than I have to."

"Trust me, I hate your ugly mug too," Shadow Milk Cookie sneered, grabbing a fistful of grass and dirt and throwing it towards her.

"You're one to talk!" she bristled as she picked the grass blades out of her braid. "At least I'm not so fucking ugly that the sheep won't look my way."

"Would you look at that, the bitch does know how to bark!" he threw his head back and laughed without any mirth behind it. "My, my, you're finally showing your true colors, Dark Enchantress!"

Before he could even blink, he found himself at the receiving end of an offensive spell. He managed to dodge it by turning into a shade and letting it pass through his body, but he could still feel the burn . The ball of spiked plants landed in a heap behind him, forming a small crater before fading from existence.

"Wow, you're even endangering local animals and property!" Shadow Milk cackled, hair spiking and irises turning into slits. This was going to be so much fun . "What a true villain you are!"

"Do you ever shut the fuck up?! " White Lily Cookie snarled as she raised her staff to ready another spell. 

He could feel the jam boiling beneath his skin. He felt so alive, more than he did with the siblings, more than he did with the brat. Oh, he needed this. Seemed like little by little, he understood Burning Spice Cookie more.

Shadow Milk Cookie waved his scepter and summoned a small paper storm, sending it towards her in break-neck speed. She blocked it with another wall of vines before sending out more spiked tendrils, attempting to wrap them around his body. He transformed into a snake to slip through and back into his original form.

"Pathetic! I'm starting to think Elder Faerie chose wrong!"

"SILENCE!" White Lily screamed, sending out a barrage of attacks that Shadow Milk easily dodged again. 

He was about to dish out another insult when he noticed the Soul Jam on her staff flickering. Unfortunately, this distracted him long enough for her to finally land a hit. Shadow Milk Cookie was thrown a good few meters across the grass, landing on the ground with a muffled " oof ". 

" Motherfucker ," he hissed as he picked himself up. He could feel a crack in his dough right below the knee. The area was getting wet with jam, and he hastily wrapped it with a summoned bandage. "S’that all you got?!"

" SHUT UP! " In a burst of blinding light, White Lily Cookie changed into her guardian form, all delicate wings and soft flowing robes. Her form was elegant, even in the throes of unbridled rage, even as her eyes burned like the witches' oven.

More vines rained from the sky, rose from the ground and appeared in mid-air. Shadow Milk Cookie weaved between them all like a ghost, sending puppets and explosions of his own in return. He twirled through the air, laughing maniacally and casting spells as he went.

White Lily Cookie barely moved from her spot, opting to block his attacks rather than dodge them. Neither were landing many hits on the other, but when they did, the damage was devastating .

More than once Shadow Milk almost lost a limb from an unexpected impact, miniscule cracks forming in his dough and threatening to snap clean off. His chest heaved from exertion, his eyes starting to grow heavy from the long battle. 

This is your doing.

His magic flowed strong, but his body had grown weak. He couldn't help but think back on how he got here, on all the meals he missed, all the times he chose to lay down and pretend he didn't exist. It all caught up to him now – his body was collecting its due, punishing him for his neglect.

This is your penance.

Shadow Milk Cookie had only moved a second too slow and he was immediately captured. The thorns wrapping around him dug into his dough, poking holes in him for jam to bleed through.

It hurt. It hurt like hell.

This is what you deserve.

He wanted to fight against it, to kick and scream and claw his way out of his restraints. It reminded him of the Witches. It reminded him of his imprisonment. It reminded him of the thousands of years he had to endure, unable to move, unable to say anything. Despair and detachment, just watching the world from the outside, unable to reach the things he cared about.

Seeing them fade in front of his eyes.

...

Shadow Milk Cookie was exhausted. From the fight. From life. From everything.

Maybe Mystic Flour was right.

All the things he did, all the things he said, all the things he wanted...

It was all... so... futile...

White Lily Cookie descended upon him like something divine, having arrived to purge the darkness from the world. Maybe she was. She's a guardian, after all...

" W-wait! " Shadow Milk Cookie coughed, jam dripping down his chin as his chest was almost crushed from the force of the vines binding him. "E-even you'd oblige a dead cookie his last words, wouldn't you?"

For a second, it looked like she was going to crumble him then and there.

"Fine," she spat. "You may speak."

Shadow Milk Cookie didn't really know what to say. There's no script for this, you know? Even if he'd thought about such things before, he never really thought of his own death with such finality.

Candy Apple and Black Sapphire would be alright. They had each other, and they were plenty self-sufficient when he'd been out of commission for half a year. 

Custard Cookie III... he'd get over it. He handled the truth of Pure Vanilla's fate quite easily. He wouldn't miss someone he'd known for a lot less time.

Pure Vanilla Cookie...

"You don't deserve him," he couldn't help but start laughing, at himself, at White Lily, at the world.

She bristled, pointing her staff at him as if to smite him down.

“And you think you deserve him?! He's dead because of you!”

“You say that as if I was the one who killed him," he gritted his teeth as his bindings tightened even more.

“What difference does it make?! You made him do it!”

“No I fucking didn't!" Shadow Milk may be a dead cookie soon, but there's no way he'd die with such a grievous stain on his reputation. "Why does nobody ever believe me?! ”

“Because you're a liar!”

“I DIDN'T KILL HIM AND I DIDN'T MAKE HIM KILL HIMSELF!" his voice broke at the end of the sentence, too overcome with guilt, with anger, with utter devastation. 

White Lily Cookie was taken aback, eyes wide with shock. She opened her mouth to say something, but whatever it was, it never made it out.

"I'm so fucking tired of your bullshit, White Lily! He's been pining for you for decades , and you're only caring now, when he's fucking gone?! " Furious tears formed in Shadow Milk Cookie's eyes, and he was helpless to keep them from flowing. " NEITHER OF US DESERVED HIS LOVE AND YOU KNOW IT. YOU KEEP ACTING LIKE A FUCKING SAINT , BUT WE BOTH KNOW YOU AND I AREN’T THAT MUCH DIFFERENT. JUST A PAIR OF HYPOCRITES AND DEMONS WHOM THE WORLD WILL BE BETTER OFF WITH IF WE JUST FUCKING DIED ."

He was heaving at the end of it, choking on his own blood and tears. He's said it. He's done. He was finally fucking honest with his himself for once in his witch-forsaken life, just like Pure Vanilla Cookie wanted.

He was ready.

“Do it then. Kill me.”

White Lily Cookie raised her staff.

“Do something good for once in your life.”

Shadow Milk Cookie closed his eyes.

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?

“Why didn't you kill me? You had the chance…”

“...” White Lily Cookie hugged her knees closer to her chest. “I had the feeling he wouldn't have wanted that…”

Shadow Milk Cookie stared unmoving at the night sky, reserving what's left of his energy to heal himself. He was unsure if she meant Custard Cookie III or... him .

There had been many times when Pure Vanilla Cookie was filled with such rage, when he had the will to actually crumble someone. He only ever followed through once.

The memory of blue robes getting darker as jam seeped through flashed in his mind, and he couldn't stop the sob that followed it. He furiously tried to wipe the tears away, to preserve his dignity in front of his enemy, but he couldn't help it.

He moved on his side and curled into himself instead, crying into his palms in an attempt to muffle the pathetic sounds. After a few minutes, a hand was placed on his shoulder, making him jolt away.

White Lily Cookie was kneeling right beside him, looking surprised and unsure of herself.

They stared at each other in shock for a second, but she fled before he got to say anything.

Chapter Text

It was a quiet night at the Spire of Deceit. Well, early morning. It was actually half past three, but it was still dark outside so the lone awake occupant considered it as night.

Inside the Spire was also quite dark, particularly in this one room which had the thick velvet curtains shut, not a single ray of moonbeams allowed to provide illumination. Perhaps there were lanterns on the walls or candles scattered around, but those too were unlit, not disturbing the shroud of comfortable darkness that blanketed the area.

In the corner of the room was what seemed to be a bed, almost completely taken over by a pile of stuffed toys and soft pillows. Laying on top of the heap was Black Sapphire Cookie, his silhouette barely visible in the darkness, looking like he wasn't having a very good time right now.

“Sorry about that,” he groaned, covering his eyes with one arm as he blindly reached for his microphone. Having found it, he lit a few candles with a small wave, lethargically dropping the mic once he was done. He took a deep inhale and sat up with great effort, eyes still screwed shut. He seemed to be in pain.

“You caught me at a bad time. Migraine,” he rubbed his temple with a sigh. “All this reality-shifting is giving me a massive headache, but I'm used to it by now.”

Black Sapphire rummaged around his pockets and pulled out a pill bottle.

“Here’s your reminder to take your pills if you haven't yet, I guess,” he shrugged and stood up, slightly swaying as he made his way to a coffee table where there was a wrapped sandwich and a water bottle that you hadn't noticed previously. “Come on, let's take ibuprofen together.”

He sat on the floor with his back against a table leg, slowly munching on the sandwich.

“The dysfunction will pass,” he said in between each bite. “I know it's hard. Witches know I've had some bad days myself, but it will pass. You got this. Get some food in your system, drink some water, and I promise you'd feel a little better.”

He finished his small meal and grabbed the water bottle next, downing it along with one pill. He let out a sigh and wiped his mouth with his sleeve, haphazardly placing the bottle and sandwich wrapper back on the table as he made his way back to his bed. Rather than flopping down on it like he would very much like to, he instead sat up against the headboard.

“I'm gonna take a nap,” he hummed quietly, eyes already closed. “I don't recommend laying down after eating due to multiple reasons including hyperacidity and heartburn. So I'm just gonna sleep like this.”

He yawned, politely covering his mouth as he did so.

“You need to get to another scene if you want to see the flashback thing,” he absentmindedly rubbed his visible eye as he spoke. “Shadow Milk Cookie is in his own room, but I'm not in the mood to go there again. Nothing bad happened last time so I guess Candy Apple can go. If you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about, just go here. I'm too tired to explain.”

With one last stretch, Black Sapphire Cookie made himself comfortable, allowing himself to drift into the world of dreams.

“Goodnight. Or morning. Whatever. Bye...”

"I love you."

"Say it again."

"I love you," Truthless Recluse pressed a kiss onto his forehead, and then on the marking on his eye. Seemingly unable to help himself, he planted more kisses all over the other's face. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you—"

Shadow Milk Cookie slowly roused from his slumber, trying to chase the remnants of a pleasant dream. These nicer memories didn't feel any different from the nightmares, except waking up was actually the worst part.

His blanket melted away into nothingness as he sat up on his bed, grabbing the glass of blueberry milk on the nightstand. He was in the middle of taking a gulp when the liquid went the wrong way for no particular reason, causing him to nearly choke and spill the liquid all over himself.

He cursed under his breath, repeatedly hitting the front of his chest to clear it up. Once it was over, he took a seat on the floor with his back against his bedframe, looking up at the blinking stars on his ceiling with a weary sigh.

Candy Apple Cookie had been begging to come with him the next time he visits the kingdom. Maybe he should let her tag along...

He ran a hand down his face with a groan. He stayed like that for a few seconds, mind blank, before taking a deep inhale and picking himself up.

"One day at a time, Shadow Milk Cookie," he said to himself, drawing back the curtains to watch the real stars. "One day at a time..."

Chapter Text

“My name is Candy Apple Cookie~!” She enthusiastically offered her hand towards Custard Cookie III. “Nice to meet you again!!”

“I'm Custard Cookie III, and likewise!” He grabbed it for a firm handshake, but a gross wet sound suddenly went off upon contact.

“Hehe, got you!” She stuck her tongue out and showed him the object hidden in her palm. "Good ol' whoopie cushion in the hand trick!"

“Huh—?! That wasn’t there before! How did you do that??”

Impossible as it sounds, Shadow Milk and White Lily actually finally agreed on something (unspoken, of course). Letting these two meet properly was a huge mistake.

The two older cookies trailed behind the younger ones, awkwardly silent and refusing to even do so much as look each other. They were perfectly fine pretending that the other didn't exist, and whatever happened a few days ago didn't happen, thank you.

That being said, Custard Cookie III and Candy Apple Cookie quickly becoming best friends was a nightmare in the making. The girl's hesitation during their first meeting was completely gone and was instead replaced by intense enthusiasm. Before long, she somehow convinced Custard Cookie III to treat her as an older sister ("I've always wanted a younger sibling!!") and was playing the role perfectly. Shadow Milk can't even find a brief respite in thinking she's just pretending – no, he knows she's being genuine.

Well, at least White Lily seemed to hate this more than he did. Custard Cookie III looked like he was having the time of his life being on the receiving end of Candy Apple's pampering.

"And those clothes!" Candy Apple Cookie inspected the smaller cookie's light wafer crown. "They look really well done, but why can't you get an actual kingly regalia?"

"Ah, I'm reserving them for my coronation!" Custard Cookie III crossed his arms and placed a hand on his chin. "Although I suppose it won't hurt to get a new outfit now..."

"Great! Come, I know just the place!"

"Ehh? But I didn't bring any money—"

"Don't worry, that's what the adults are for!"

"Hey, I didn't sign up for this—?!" Shadow Milk Cookie squawked in protest, only now paying attention to the conversation. 

Unfortunately, his objections were too late as the pair ran off towards the tailor shop. Shadow Milk Cookie cursed and flew after them, leaving White Lily Cookie in the dust. 

In hindsight, however, maybe he shouldn't have. The woman took her sweet time getting there – it was a ten minute walk, she took half an hour – and as the only adult present, he was forced to pay for everything. 

"Calm down, I don't have unlimited money, you know?" Shadow Milk Cookie grumbled as the energetic pair dragged him outside to head to another store, shopping bags floating behind him.

"Can't you just make coins out of magic?" Candy Apple Cookie looked back and with her head tilted slightly. 

"I could, but those disappear after a while and it would crash the economy."

The girl hummed in thought, staring at him intently before shaking her head and going on her merry way with her "new and better brother".

"Since when did you care about the economy?" White Lily piped up beside him, the curiosity in the question contrasted by the disinterest in her voice.

"Since when did you give a fuck about what I care about?" Shadow Milk shot back with a sneer.

"You should really stop cursing around children."

"And you should really mind your fucking business."

White Lily Cookie huffed, and with that, they spent the rest of the morning without another word for each other.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?!"

For once in his life, Shadow Milk Cookie's multitude of eyes failed him. His shadows stretched to every corner of the Spire, tendrils seeping through every crack, every crevice, looking for his beloved. But to no avail. Truthless Recluse was nowhere to be found.

He screamed again, thrashing everything that his magic could get a hold of. Mirrors shattered against walls, curtains torn into shreds, plush animals ripped at the seams.  He was scared furious. How DARE he leave Shadow Milk Cookie alone?!

He had already turned the entire spire upside-down (quite literally). He would do the same with the entire world if he had to.

He. Must. Find. Him.

"So... did you talk it out?"

Shadow Milk Cookie grimaced, accidentally pricking himself with the needle. It was more of a fight to the death than a talk, but he wasn't about to tell him that. Neither did White Lily, it seemed. She was pointedly looking outside the window and pretending she didn't hear a thing.

Besides, as the king in training, Custard Cookie III probably already knew about the whole debacle at the pastures. They didn't exactly clean up after themselves.

"Yeah, we talked," he shrugged as he licked the bead of jam that formed where he poked his hand.

It was technically the truth. They did talk a little. While fighting. And during that bit when Shadow Milk genuinely thought he was going to die, although that was mostly him monologuing.

Custard Cookie III gave him a look, the one that felt like Shadow Milk Cookie was stripped down to his most basic ingredients. There was a fleeting thought about how it felt almost exactly like how it was under Pure Vanilla's gaze...

"And...?" the kid probed quietly, abandoning his own sewing project to stare him down. 

Slightly unnerved, Shadow Milk glanced at Candy Apple, hoping that she'd distract the boy and save him from this conversation. But she was busy with her own doll-in-the-making and wasn't paying much attention to her surroundings, thus leaving him to his own devices.

"What, you want me to tell you that we magically became friends?" He huffed, cutting the thread he was holding and neatly tucking it out of sight. "One talk ain't gonna fix... whatever this is."

"Are you willing to talk more so you can fix it, though?"

He sighed, staring at the unfinished plush in his hands. He made the base with no particular design in mind, but even when he was picking from the box randomly, he managed to place mismatched button eyes.

Yellow and blue.

Was he willing to fix things?

"Maybe..." Shadow Milk's eyes widened, surprised by his own sincerity. He spoke before it even registered in his mind! In the corner of his eye, he noticed how White Lily tensed ever so slightly. He pointedly raised his voice. "No promises though! One side can only give so much effort, you know?"

"Great!" Custard Cookie III beamed and turned towards the other cookie. "White Lily?"

"I..." Her hands clenched onto the fabric of her cloak, wrapping them even tighter around her shoulders. "I don't—"

"White Lily Cookie!!!" A random cookie suddenly burst into the cafe, looking around frantically. "Help! There's a monster on the loose!"

She immediately sprang into action, taking this as an out. "Where are Gingerbrave and the others?"

"They're fighting back near the fountain! Hurry, hurry!"

White Lily Cookie quickly grabbed her staff and fled to the scene. Custard Cookie III was just about to chase after her when Shadow Milk grabbed his arm.

"Let me go! I have to protect my people—"

"You're a child!" Shadow Milk flicked his forehead with tsk. "You can't protect your people if you crumble in a fight. Come on."

With a wave of his hand, all their sewing materials packed themselves neatly into a bag which he then tossed into a dimensional portal along with his scepter. Holding each kid by the hand, Shadow Milk Cookie quickly led them out through the cafe's backdoor.

"Where's the nearest wizard residence?" He asked urgently, scanning the area as they pushed past panicked locals.

"Um, uh—" Custard Cookie III thought hard as he tried not to stumble. "Espresso Cookie lives just around the corner past the bakery—"

"Great. Hold on!"

"Wheeee~!" Candy Apple Cookie shrieked in delight as Shadow Milk picked them up by the waist and flew above the crowd in a flurry of darkness.

After gently setting them down on the apartment's balcony - the younger cookie slightly swaying on his feet, supported by the older girl - Shadow Milk Cookie kicked the door down and let himself in. 

"What are you—?!" sputtered the scholar that he could only assume as Espresso Cookie, but he pushed right past him and rifled through the haphazardly stacked shelf of magical items.

Coffee grounds, skill powders, star jellies- Aha! Having found what he was looking for, he entrusted the flabbergasted cookie with the care of the young ones and flew out once again. 

Floating high above the town square, he could finally see the commotion taking place.

A section of the pasture fences were under maintenance from his fight with White Lily and a passel of choco roll hogs must have broken through, currently wreaking havoc at the sculpture park as reported. He could see the three little brats fighting valiantly alongside White Lily Cookie and a few others he didn't recognize.

Making a quick estimation of the surface area, Shadow Milk Cookie took a handful of coffee grounds from the pouch he stole and scattered the fine powder in the air. Rather than getting blown away by the wind or raining down on the unfortunate cookies below, the coffee grounds merely floated around him.

He tossed the pouch into a portal and grabbed his scepter, chanting in a long-forgotten dialect as he used it to write glowing runes into the air. Soon, dark clouds began to gather in the sky, rapidly dimming the atmosphere. Below him, quite a few residents started screaming and tried to run off, only to be stopped by an invisible wall at the edge of the street.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Shadow Milk Cookie pulled out a tiny moonstone fragment and crushed it between his palms. He grinned as its power surged through his body, his eyes glowing just as bright as the giant magic circle that lit to life under his feet, looming over the entire town square.

Trust a wizard to always have magic contraband.

Whispering the last few words of enchantment, he blew the moonstone dust over the circle, activating it. The local cookies' feet gently lifted off the ground as he raised his scepter once again, and as he pointed it towards the castle in the distance, they all vanished into thin air.