Chapter Text
Yeon Sieun is a good kid. He studies all the time, he goes to cram school, he even makes it a point not to fight (anymore, or at least he tries to. It’s kinda difficult). So you can imagine Keum Seongje’s shock when he spots Yeon Sieun sitting at a random bus stop, in the middle of the night, the light from a street lamp shining onto him slightly flickering a soft humming sound coming from it, with a vape in his hand. “Hey newbie,” Seongje calls out walking over to him with that confident lazy air he carries around him.
Of course he doesn’t get an answer out of him, only a cold stare out of those sad, downturned eyes of his, no expression showing on his face, he turns his eyes away from Seongje, staring down at the concrete in front of him, like he’s trying to ignore what’s happening right next to him. “Insomnia?” Seongje smirks, his smile not quite reaching his eyes “You have bags under your eyes that are a mile long. Ever try sleeping?” Sitting down right next to Sieun spreading out his legs like he owns the bench he’s sitting on.
No reaction. Not even a glance this time. Seongje doesn’t seem to acknowledge the fact that Sieun is blatantly ignoring him. “So…” he trails off “What flavor is that? Didn’t take you for the type to vape.” This gets Sieun to look at him again, still looking expressionless, like he would rather be anywhere else than having to deal with Seongje, and to be fair, he probably does.
“What do you want,” Sieun finally acknowledges him, his tone flat, bored, and maybe even slightly annoyed like he’s been dreading having to speak to him since Seongje appeared next to him.
“Nothing, I’m just bored,” Seongje sighs while taking out a cigarette and lighting it. The smoke hanging around them is like the tension that weighs heavy on Sieun from the thought of continuing this conversation.
“Are you going to answer my question or…?”
Sieun sighs “Mint.”
Seongje snorts “Of course, you don’t seem like the type to get sweet flavors” he pauses, then adds on “You shouldn’t vape it’s bad for your lungs y’know.” and the irony of it comes when directly after it leaves Seongje’s mouth he takes a hit of his cigarette.
“Yea you would know a lot about lung damage, wouldn’t you,” Sieun mumbles out and rolls his eyes, then abruptly stands, turning to leave. “Now leave me alone.” Sieun starts walking away, the soft thudding of his sneakers hitting the concrete as he walks to wherever he was heading, and the small cloud of vapor that trails behind him as he takes a hit of his vape.
Seongje, of course, will not leave him alone. He has no plans for it. He’s entertained, intrigued, whatever word you want to use. He stands, jogging to catch up to Sieun “Aww c'mon newbie, I know you like talking to me,” he says, slightly leaning into Sieuns space, keeping one pace behind him.
Sieun stops in his tracks, and turns his head just slightly to send a glare over to Seongje, this one sharp, with unspoken words that say “Say one more thing and I’m punching you in the face.” or maybe something close to that. “Ok, ok, I’ll leave you alone,” Seongje says, holding up his hands and backing up a few more paces behind him, and sighing.
And without another word he slips away from Sieun, out of his sight, not completely gone though. Seongje is still curious. What was Sieun doing out this late? Since when did he vape? Where is he going now? Were all thoughts that crossed through his mind as he decided to trail after him, just to see where he was going. Not creepy. Totally.
Seongje flicked out the rest of his unfinished cigarette and waited a little while before he decided to start walking again, the soft sounds of crickets chirping, and sneakers hitting the concrete filling the empty street as he follows Sieun to whatever destination he is going to. The confident smirk has melted off of his face at this point. Letting himself be small, unnoticeable, to blend in with the background as he walks behind. After walking down a few more streets, taking a couple turns here and there, he finally stops at an apartment complex. Sieun’s apartment complex. He stands there, from a distance, taking it in. The street they were on, the apartment complex, what floor Sieun lives on, what apartment number, just watching, memorizing. Not in a creepy way. Totally. Just like an information gathering way.
Another day passed, another day of routine, one he follows rigorously: get ready, go to school, interact with Juntae, Gotak, and Baku, study, go to cram school, go home, study again, and try to sleep. Sieun couldn’t sleep. Everytime he closed his eyes his mind was plagued with Suho’s face, and the constant feeling of guilt would wash over him again in a strong wave. He has given up getting a good night's sleep, why would he even try anymore when he knew what was going to happen. Sighing, Sieun gets up, throws on a random hoodie he had laying around, picks up his keys, and leaves his house. He walks with no direction in mind, just away, just to get some fresh air. At some point his feet lead him over to a convenience store. He walks in and heads straight for the back where the drinks are kept in the fridges that line the walls, and picks up a canned coffee, pays for it and leaves to sit outside.
It’s quiet, it always is. Late at night, barely anyone is awake but Sieun is, he always is now, up late with only his thoughts to bother him. No sleeping pills have ever worked for him. Tonight his thoughts are especially worse, Suho’s face clouding his mind, the multiple ways he could’ve gone about what happened to avoid this outcome, Oh Beomseok. Are all things he thinks about while he checks out with the tired cashier and goes outside to sit down at the tables in front of the store, the quiet buzzing sound of the fluorescent light above him and the slight breeze that chills his fingers. Sieun pulls out his vape. He knows that he probably shouldn’t have picked up this habit, he knows all the effects that inhaling vapor has on the body, the effect of nicotine and the consequence of addiction. But he can’t bring himself to care anymore, he already feels like his life has fallen apart, what’s one more thing that can fuck up his life. He brings it up to his lips and breathes it in, slowly exhaling the vapor.
Sieun is too busy flipping the vape around in his hands, feeling the cool, smooth plastic rubbing against his skin, and being completely consumed by his thoughts to even realize that someone had been watching him, and is now heading his way.
Seongje. Still dressed in his red blazer, black T-shirt, and red pants, Ganghak’s school uniform. He sits across from Sieun and clears his throat “Wow, you look like shit right now.” He says, his now familiar smirk falling into place on his face.
Sieun just stares, trying to send his thoughts to Seongje “Just go away” he wants to say, but he settles for just glaring at him with an expressionless look on his face. Unfortunately for Sieun, Seongje doesn’t get the hint, or is just blatantly ignoring it. He seems content to sit in the silence Sieun has set. He takes another hit of his vape, finally looking away to blow the vapor
“You stay up like this every night?” Seongje starts “Nicotine keeps you up at night y’know, maybe that’s part of the reason you stay up late,”
“I know,” Sieun replies back sharply, his tone pointed and final.
He doesn’t know why he responded to him, he didn’t want to talk to Seongje at all, ever, but he felt a pull, a want, a need, to respond, to feel less lonely.
“The main reason you can’t sleep is because you feel guilty right? You feel guilty about what happened to your little coma boyfriend.” Seongje says, and it hits.
Sieun knows he’s correct, knows that this jab was meant to get a reaction from him. Seongje watches, waits for a sign that his words hit deep, that he was correct, looks for the slight darkening of Sieun’s usually expressionless face, looks for the clenching of Sieun’s fist, looks for the added tension of Sieun’s already taut frame. And he sees it. Sieun clenches his fist and his shoulders tense even more before he stands abruptly and fastly walks towards him. Seongje thinks he's about to get punched in the face, thinks that he’s about to fight Sieun for the second time, but Sieun doesn’t stop, he continues walking right past him. “Don’t talk about him,” Sieun says walking right past Seongje, trying to leave.
Seongje catches his wrist before he can get too far away. “Do your friends know?”
“Know what?”
“That you vape,”
“Why does that matter?” Sieun rolls his eyes
Why would his friends know? Sieun knows that his friends wouldn’t agree with him picking up vaping as a habit, even if he’s been doing it since before he met them, they don’t have to know.
“Just curious,”
Sieun rips his wrist free from Seongje’s grasp on him and turns to leave again. “Stop talking to me,”
“Or what? At least let me walk you home.”
“No. Leave me alone.”
And with that Sieun leaves, he's still walking fast, wanting to get away from Seongje, the conversation they had as fast as he could. He’s running completely on autopilot as he brings his hand to his mouth, vape still in it from before he started talking to Seongje to take a hit, to calm down, to have anything to take his mind off of how Seongje brought up Suho so casually. Before he knows it Sieun is unlocking the door, taking off his shoes and going to his bed. He has to be up in a few hours for school. He gets in bed, even though he isn’t tired, he forces himself to sleep, forces his brain to rest for a little while before he has to go to school. Even when he’s trying not to think about Seongje he knows, call it a gut feeling that he will just keep appearing, that he will keep seeing Seongje.