Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Half the night shift will sometimes get together for some drinks on their day off. Victoria discovers it's not a usual thing but it's also not uncommon. She also discovers that most people on the night shift are loners with workaholic tendencies. They are all used to waking up at three pm and going to bed at eight am at best. 

She and Trinity have been working night shifts for two weeks when Ellis invites Trinity to one of their rare but not so rare night outs, which on this occasion includes Ellis—obviously—, Abbot, Mohan—she doesn't really do night shifts as much as doubles, which Victoria can not understand—, and Shen. Trinity accepts the invitation promptly and forces Victoria to go with her, of course.

And forced she is. Although Trinity makes the big effort of not letting her alone or out her sight, she feels a little out of place. It's the second time she's been into a bar, the first time being two weeks ago on her 21st birthday, also with Trinity, always at the crime scene. 

Shen and Abbot are sitting on the table, talking over the loud music, with beers on their hands. Ellis is somewhere getting them drinks and Trinity, Samira and her are on the improvised dance floor, just jumping around. And she's actually having an okay time, though she's jumped enough to want to go sit down. But she doesn't. She takes the fruity drink Ellis offers her after making a joke, double checking she's actually of age. Victoria doesn't find it funny but understands Ellis means no offense. 

She drowns her drink while moving around, following Trinity's lead. She spills some of it on her blouse but she doesn't really care, and she feels dizzy, but in a very good way. 

At some point, Samira slips away with Abbot, or so Ellis says, and Trinity and her are just talking to each other, very closely. So Victoria takes the hint. 

"I'm gonna get another drink!" she screams above the music and Trinity waves at her, barely glancing her way. 

She walks to the bar, where she's surprised to find Shen sitting alone in a stool. Victoria climbs one of the chairs next to him. "Hey," she says, leaning. "What happened to our table?" 

Shen turns and smiles, slightly surprised to see her, like he had forgotten she was there. 

"Oh, Abbot and Mohan are having a moment," he replies, wiggling his eyebrows.

"A moment?" Victoria questions.

"Yeah, you know how they are," Shen shrugs.

She turns around to try to localize them through the distance but there's already enough people in the bar to make it difficult. 

"You wanted to order another drink?" he asks, interrupting her search. Victoria turns. 

"Oh yeah... Uh, can you order for me? I left my ID on my work backpack," she explains. She has to lean and basically talk into his ear for him to listen and she can smell his cologne and even his deodorant. 

Shen glances at her with an incredulous smile. "Doesn't sound very believable," he comments. 

Victoria frowns. "Why would I lie? I'm 21, I can drink."

"Okay, rockstar. What are you having?" 

"Oh, um... I don't know what it was that Ellis got me. Whatever is fruity". 

Shen laughs and shakes his head slightly, which makes her a little defensive, but she doesn't say anything. He orders her drink and another beer for himself. Victoria stammers to grab some money from her purse on time but he pays. 

"Oh, you really don't have to," she says, a little embarrassed, she has the idea she made it seem like she was expecting him to pay. 

"It's not a problem, really. Us third wheelers gotta take care of each other," he jokes, nudging her with his elbow and she chuckles. "Plus, you deserved it for that cricothyrotomy you pulled up last night". 

"Oh... Yeah, that," Victoria mumbles, playing with the straw on her glass. "I feel like I screw up more than pulling anything up". 

Shen clicks his tongue. She can't hear it but she recognizes the gesture. "Nah, it was a tough one, but you did great, Javadi! I mean, hard not to when you have an awesome attending". 

"Oh, yeah, Abbot is great," she nods, sipping on her fruity drink and Shen laughs again.

"I was talking about myself. Way to turn a guy down." 

Victoria widens her eyes. "No, yeah! I was joking!" 

He pats her shoulder. "You're a funny girl". 

Victoria chuckles nervously. She doesn't understand Shen that much. Half the conversations they have are her just guessing what he's trying to say. 

"Uh, thanks?" 

"So how are you liking the night shift?" Shen asks.

"What?" she screams above the music.

Shen leans, his hand on her back for stability. "How are you liking the night shift?" 

"Oh, it's nice!" she replies, and her face is much closer to his than it should be. She looks down and sips her drink. "You are all more... Uh, less professional in a way". 

"More chill," Shen jokes. 

"Yeah, that," she giggles. "Chill". 

She feels her eyes heavy and everything just kinda slow and she recognizes she's drunk. Shen keeps talking to her, saying funny and nonsensical things that make her laugh. He keeps his hand on her back and she enjoys the feeling. Somewhere in her brain, a little voice screams “ Oh my god, he's flirting with me ?" as he moves closer to talk into her ear and looks straight into her eyes when she replies. 

Still, the bigger, louder voice on her head reminds her she's drunk and probably embarrassing herself.

When she's half into her third drink, Trinity appears from somewhere and informs her their Uber is two blocks away. She stumbles down the stool, Shen catching her by the waist, and waves him and Ellis goodbye before following Trinity out. 

So, yes, Victoria develops a small, innocent crush on him after that. She thinks it's only fair: she needs a night shift crush since she hasn't really seen Mateo for weeks. It had been boring working without having someone to glance at longingly.

But she's very mature about it. She doesn't stammer in his presence, she doesn't blush furiously when he talks to her, she doesn't look for excuses to work with him, and she doesn't glance awkwardly at his lips. She mostly just stares at his hands and thinks of them on her waist. She also enjoys watching him arrive with ridiculously coffee orders and makes a game out of asking him what he's having, with a jokingly and fake grossed out look. 

"You wish you had this coffee, Javadi," he jokes back, slurping from the straw loudly and she cringes, crinkling her nose. 

"Just make sure there's no family history of diabetes," she replies. This earns her a deep laugh from him. She thinks it's an exaggeration, the way he always laughs at the stupid attempts at jokes she does, but she appreciates how he makes an effort to not make her feel dumb. He's also a competent doctor and a good teacher. Grounded and composed, but not overly attached. 

Still, the night shift has its difficulties. They tend to get a lot of drunk, rude, old white guys. And Victoria is no stranger to hearing insults, catcalls and slurs, though the three of them together, being screamed at her face, do throw her off. 

Abbot steps up quick enough, shushing her out of the room as security ties the guy up. And Victoria really tries to keep it together, but she's already crying and feeling incompetent. She decides to take Abbot on the suggestion of taking a break and sits on the ambulance bay, breathing in and out. 

She holds her head in her hands and cries a little, silently. She wants to get it done and go back inside. 

"Hey," Shen's voice startled her, making her gasp a little. "Shit, sorry". 

"Oh, hey, Dr. Shen. Sorry," she mumbles, rubbing her face. 

He sits next to her. "I heard what happened. You okay?" 

"I'm sure the whole hospital heard," she winced, recalling the loud screams echoing in the place. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm mostly used to it. Just... One of those nights I guess".

He nods. "I understand, believe me. I've got a few years of experience with white assholes. Though I'm not a woman, so I'm guessing you have it worse". 

Victoria breaths out and winces again. 

"I mean, like, you have two factors against you," he hurries to add then chuckles at himself. "God, okay. Forget I said anything". 

Victoria chuckles a little and shakes her head. "No, you're right". 

Shen hums and takes out a protein bar out of his pocket before handing it to her. "You're looking a little pale, I don't want you fainting". 

"Thanks," she mumbles. She absentmindedly opens it and takes a bite. "Tastes awful," she says, mouth full. 

Shen laughs. "Yeah, I know. It was the only thing the bending machine had".

"They restock on Mondays," she replies. She swallows then takes another bite. 

Shen watches her. And she would feel nervous if she wasn't feeling so upset. After a while, she just stares down at the protein bar. "It really tastes awful," she comments. 

Shen laughs and grabs the bar. He throws it to the garage bin on the other side. "Fuck that protein bar". 

Victoria laughs and sniffs a little bit. Shen pats his shoulder and then rubs her back. "You sure you're okay?" 

"I'm fine. I should probably go back". 

He nods and pulls his hand away and she shivers at the loss of contact. Shen stands up and offers his hand. She takes it. 

"Okay, let's get back to work, Javadi". 

After that day, Shen starts bringing her different sweet treats, KitKats, Snickers, M&Ms. Sometimes he hands them to her, if they are together in the break room, or waiting for an ambulance in the bay. But if they are occupied or around other people, he just lets them on her work station, or slips them in her pockets. 

One day, just a few hours before her shift starts, she gets a text from an unknown number. 

Do you like sour patches?

This is john btw 

Shen

:)

She swallows, her heart beating faster, like if it does every time he talks to her now, every time he hands her some treat. It makes her feel a little bit childish, or it did the first few times, but now it just makes her throb all over.

She lets six minutes pass before replying. 

Hi, Dr. Shen! Yes I do 

But you really don't have to get me anything haha

He doesn't respond, and Victoria rereads the six messages a hundred times the rest of the hours previous to her shift. 

Shen doesn't give her the sour patches. Doesn't sneak them into her pockets or desk. They don't get to chat because it's a busy shift, and she spends it running around covered in blood, wondering if she did something wrong. 

Finally, at the very end of her shift, he catches her about to leave. 

"Javadi! Hey," he says, coming up to her. 

She smiles, throwing her backpack over her shoulder. "Hi, Dr. Shen," she says, awkwardly balancing on her heels. 

He takes out a KitKat and a small bag of sour patches and hands them to her. 

"Sorry, today was crazy," he says, with a big smile. 

"Oh, you don't have to bring me candies. I mean, I really appreciate it!"

"Well, hope there's no family history of diabetes," he jokes and she giggles, her cheeks warm.

"Funny," she says. "But really".

"Right, yeah. So, listen. You're off tomorrow right?"

"Um, yeah". 

"Wanna grab some drinks?" Shen asks, smiling. 

Victoria really doesn't wanna spend a night drinking with Abbot, Ellis, Mohan and Shen—Trinity is back on day shift so no chance of that—, but she does like the idea of possibly spending more time with Shen. So she nods immediately.

"Of course! I mean, yeah, sure," she replies. Shen chuckles and nods.

"Great. See you at the bar? Around eight?" he asks, already starting to walk out. 

"Sure! See you!"

She puts on a skirt. It's short but not too short to be completely out of place. She also wears some sheer black tights, so she doesn't think it's inappropriate and also as to not to freeze herself to death. She completes the look with a white sweater and leather boots and jacket. 

She enters the bar at eight fifteen, spots Shen on the same booth they all had sat the last time and walks to him. 

"Hi," she says lightly, sitting down.

He smiles at her. "Hey, hi!" 

Victoria takes him in. He looks more put together than usual, with a black crewneck and jeans, as well as a big jacket that's on the booth next to him. "I'm gonna order myself a drink," she says after a few seconds of silence.

"You brought your ID this time?" he teases. 

She chuckles and nods. She grabs her wallet and pulls out her ID, showing it on his face playfully. 

"I opened a tab under my name, just add your drink there," he says when she stands up. 

"Oh... Okay!" she replies. She complies, a little unsure of how tabs work, and comes back to the table with her fruity drink. 

She sits down and looks around, already sipping on her straw.

"Where are the rest?" she asks. 

"The rest?" 

"Like, Abbot, and Ellis, or whoever," she shrugs. 

"Oh, it's just us".

"Huh?"

"Yeah... I'm sorry, I thought it was clear," Shen laughs nervously, scratching the back of his neck. 

"What was?" Victoria asks, confused. 

"That I was asking you out?"

Her eyes widen and she chokes slightly on her drink. 

"You were?" 

"Yeah. Shit, sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I thought you knew—"

"Oh, no it's okay! I'm not uncomfortable. I just didn't realize," she assures him. 

Shen laughs again and looks down at his drink. 

"So, this is awkward," he mumbles, smiling. 

"No, it's not! I totally wanna date you—I mean, like, go out. Like hang out. Like, yes, drinks. This is cool," she stammers. 

He glances up at her and seems to relax a little bit. 

"Cool, cool," he nods with a smile. 

They have a few more drinks, screaming to talk to each other, before Victoria shyly suggests they go for a walk outside. Shen agrees, closing their tab and guiding her out the door with his hand on her waist. 

"Sorry, I just couldn't stand the music anymore," she says once they are outside. 

"Yeah, it gets old pretty quickly". 

They start walking, picking up the conversation they were trying to have inside. Victoria is not sure what to do with her hands, and it's cold, so she just hugs herself, shivering slightly. Shen rubs her back gently, generating some heat instantly.

"Too cold?" 

"Oh, I'm fine! Just, yeah, a little cold," she says, glancing up at him. He smiles, pushing her into his side, as his hand settles on her shoulder, his arm around her. 

She's nervous, sure, but she also feels really good, walking pressed next to his side. They are both wearing jackets so there's not really much contact, but she can smell his cologne and hear his breathing and his voice—finally!—, as he makes a casual comment about how pretty she looks tonight. 

"Thanks," she mumbles, her cheeks red as apples from the cold and his proximity. "You look really handsome, too". 

"I tried," he jokes. 

"I'd say you've succeeded," she replies, feeling a little proud of her quick wording. Shen chuckles and rubs her shoulder. 

"So where do you wanna go? There's a diner a few blocks over. We could have some coffee," he suggests.

"That sounds good," she nods. 

She has half the mind to check her phone for any messages from her mom, and feels blessed when it's just a quick "Take care, let me know when you get to Trinity's place" —she might have lied about Trinity going, but it's only because her mom knows her and trusts her to look after her, for some weird reason. 

"That's your mom?" Shen asks, sneaking a glance over her shoulder as they walk. 

"Yeah," she replies, sliding her phone back into her pocket.

"All good?" 

"Yep! Yes. Told her I was gonna spend the night with Trinity," Victoria chuckles. 

Shen hums. "And what are you gonna tell her when you show up at home again?" 

"Oh, that there was a change of plans or something. She's not gonna like it but I know she'd rather have me there anyway," she shrugs. 

Shen nods, contemplating. After a while of silence, Victoria looks up at him.

"Mom talk is not really, like, great for a first date?" she smiles nervously. 

Shen shakes his head. "Oh, no, it's okay, I asked. So she doesn't know you're out?" 

"She thinks we went for dinner with Trinity".

"What happens if you just tell her you're going out to get some drinks? Okay, maybe not with me. But in general". 

Victoria huffs a laugh. "She wouldn't like that".

"Figures. But what's the worst that could happen?" 

"I... Well, she could get mad".

"And?" 

"And she can be mean when she's mad?" Victoria squeals.

"Is she gonna hit you or something? Ground you?" Shen questions, jokingly. 

"No! God, no! I mean, maybe ground me?"

"You're 21, Victoria".

"Last time I made her mad I was like ten and she threw away my favorite doll as a punishment".

"Jesus".

"I mean, like, I haven't made her mad since then. Not looking forward to that," she shrugs simply. 

"Well, I think you should make her mad. See what happens. If they can send you to college at 13, you can rebel a little for a few drinks at the ripe age of 21, huh?" 

Victoria stays quiet for a few seconds, scanning her brain for a counterpoint. Instead, she just nods. 

"I guess so?" 

They arrive at the diner. It's around ten pm and the place is fairly empty. Victoria slides into a booth and to her surprise, Shen slides next to her instead of sitting in the chair in front of her. 

"Did that work for you? Getting your parents mad or whatever?" she asks after they order coffee and a waffle with ice cream to share.

"It wasn't exactly the same," he shrugs. He moves his arm around her shoulders, just like when they were walking, and Victoria leans a little against his chest. Just slightly. "I sneaked out a lot, in my teens, then I just went out to college and didn't tell them stuff. It was more organic. Maybe I'm a bit of a hypocrite, I still have trouble going against them," he chuckles at the last part. 

Victoria smiles, looking up at him. "I guess when you have a normal adolescence it's easier". 

"Probably. I do think your thing it's fucked up, though," he says. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Making you go to college at 13? You should've been drinking from a juice box and sticking buggers on your walls". 

Victoria laughs. "It's that what the average 13 year old does?"

"In my times, at least. Now they buy Bitcoin." 

She laughs again and Shen glances down to watch her.

"I mean it though," he says with a smile.

"I don't know. I'm very lucky to have had the opportunities I did," she whispers. 

"I don't know if someone has ever told you this, but being average is pretty cool, you shouldn't be scared of it". 

"Well, you're not average. Didn't you graduate early too?" 

"Still, not as early as you. And I'm talking from experience. I became average pretty quickly and it was awesome. I hope you get to be average some day."

She hums and turns to look ahead. She takes one of her hands to intertwine it with Shen's over her shoulder. He complies to the gesture and rubs his thumb over her skin softly. 

"Thank you for saying that," she says after a few moments of silence. 

The waitress brings their order and they make lighter conversation about favorite ice cream flavors and TV shows they loved as kids. Shen is just slightly mortified when she tells them she didn't really watch TV growing up, but she makes the point that even if she did, they probably didn't watch the same things, being from different generations. He chuckles at that and nods in agreement. 

At some point, she takes her phone up to text her mom that she's arrived safely at Trinity's apartment but that she's going back home in a little while, and also to take a picture of Shen devouring half a waffle in one bite.

"I'm sure that's not very charming," he jokes after swallowing. 

"I think it showed real chivalry on your part," she teases back. It thrills her how easy she can make him laugh. And he laughs with his whole body, chest shaking and head thrown back. 

She ends up sitting with her legs crossed on the booth, telling him about how she fainted on her first shift—he had already heard about it, but never knew the full story—, and her leg is pretty much half way into his lap without even realizing. 

"I would've been grossed out too, honestly," he says, rubbing a hand on the inside of her thigh. And she's aware she should be nervous about that, but it feels good, and so normal, like what else would he do with his hand? 

"No, you wouldn't have," she replies, nudging him.

"On my first shift? Hell yes!"

She rolls her eyes playfully, huffing. 

"I mean it."

"It was so embarrassing, Shen, you have no idea". 

"You can call me John," he corrects.

"Right, sorry. John". 

"No problem, Victoria," he teases. 

She giggles and takes a sip from her coffee. She looks up to find his eyes on her. 

"You are really fucking pretty. And smart. And funny. You know that?" he whispers.

"That's—Thank you," she mumbles out. 

He nods and pushes a strand of hair behind her ear. He then leans down and places a soft kiss on her lips. A quick peck, before going back to his coffee. 

He drives her back home, after she asks a hundred times if he's sober enough to do so, to which he replies a hundred times that two beers don't get him drunk and that they have since talked for hours, walked, and drank coffee. 

When he pulls up in front of her house, she turns to him.

"I had a really fun time," she says. 

"Me too," John smiles. "Maybe we could do that again sometime?"

"Yes! Yes, I'd love to. Soon?" 

John smiles and leans to kiss her, this time for real. He cups her face and brings her close. Victoria moves along, opening her lips for him and whimpering slightly when he uses tongue.

"Soon. Yeah," he whispers. 

They go on dates once a week for the next three weeks before Victoria starts her neurology rotation and is pulled again on the day shift. Which is good for her brain and sleep schedule, but she misses seeing John, glancing at him, finding candies on her scrubs, joking around with him... and stealing a few kisses on the ambulance bay. Just quick pecks! 

They text, almost everyday, and he sometimes leaves candies on her locker, but it's not the same.

Still, they manage to see each other on Shen's day off. He picks her up after she quickly changes off her scrubs and they drive to the movies for a rerun of Grease on a small theater he's a regular in. 

He keeps his hand intertwined with her and sporadically brings it up to his mouth and kisses it. Victoria rests her head on his shoulder in return and cracks her neck to kiss his jaw a couple times. 

He pulls her into the back seat after, and kisses her senseless, moving her into his lap. Victoria throws her arms around his neck as she settles. Her lips are swollen and pink, as she can feel herself getting wet. 

It is a common thing, as embarrassing as it would be to admit, but just a few kisses and a hand on her waist have her needing a minute to compose and a change of underwear. John slides his hands under her shirt, feeling her back, and she shivers and whimpers against his lips. 

“So responsive,” he whispers with a smirk. 

“I'm sorry,” she mumbles, as a reflex. She knows it's a good thing, she can guess it is, but since she's always saying and doing the wrong thing, she just has this habit of apologizing. 

John chuckles and shakes his head before leaning to kiss her jaw. “You're good”. 

Victoria hums, tilting her head back to give him more room. John nibbles at her skin, he always does, almost leaving hickeys every time, but never quite. She kinda wishes he did, at least once, so she could go back to work and show off to everyone that someone finds her hot, and sexy, and desirable! Though she knows it’s one of those fantasies that work better as that, a fantasy. 

She traces her hand down his chest, tugging his shift to slide her hands under as well. He hisses at first, because her hands are a bit cold and his skin is really warm. She finds the little noise and his face cute, so she giggles. 

“Mean,” he whispers. 

“Nah,” she whispers back, in that joking tone she’s picking up from him. She trails her hands up until they are laying flat on his chest and she feels him tense a little. 

“Where does your mom think you are?” he asks, mumbling against the skin of her neck. 

“Uh, at Trin’s,” she manages out, too distracted by his hands playing with the hook of her bra. She swallows. “Do you wanna go to your place?”

“Do you?”

“Yes. If you want.”

He hums and kisses her neck softly, teasingly, pushing her down even more, which makes Victoria moan, louder than intended. She grinds down instinctively in response. 

“Please?” she whispers.

“Fuck, Jesus. Yeah, let's go,” he mumbles. He pushes her off gently and they get out the backseat to go to the front of the car. He sits down and she can see him slightly adjusting himself before turning the car on and pulling out the parking lot. 

His place is only ten minutes away. It's a building complex that looks old but well kept. He parks a block away and they walk in silence, his hand on her lower back. 

He kisses her face on the elevator and she laughs, pushing him away. “Aren't there cameras here?” 

John huffs. “Baby, where do you think I live?” he jokes. 

They get inside his apartment. It's cozy and full of stuff, but not dirty or disorganized, just saturated. As soon as he closes the door, a black cat comes into view, meowing desperately. 

“And this is Darth Vader, I'm assuming?” Victoria smiles, kneeling on the floor to pet the cat. 

“The one and only,” John replies with a smile. 

“He's so friendly,” Victoria chuckles as the cat jumps on her lap, purring loudly. 

“Yeah, he's a bit of an attention whore. You want something to drink?” 

She gets up, holding the cat in her arms and looks around the place. It's a small place, the living connects with the kitchen and she can see two doors down the hall, his bedroom and bathroom probably. 

“I could have a beer,” she shrugs, walking to his library. 

“You hate beer,” he laughs from the kitchen.

“Whatever you have is fine,” she waves off, concentrating on reading the titles of his medicine books, while Darth Vader brushes his face against hers, searching for friction. 

John comes back with a beer for him and a White Claw for her. She grabs her, accommodating the cat on one arm.

“Snooping around, are we?” he teases before taking a sip of his beer. 

“Not snooping, just curious about what you read,” she replies, a little defensive.

John hums and grabs the cat to place it on the floor, much to his dismay. Victoria chuckles.

“Who's the attention whore after all?” she jokes when John puts an arm around her waist to push her closer to him. He laughs, throwing his head back.

“Yeah, maybe he learned it from me”. 

She kisses him, cupping his face with her free hand. She bites his lower lip and pushes her tongue inside his mouth. 

“You look super hot today, did I tell you that?” he mumbles.

“I look like I worked a twelve hour shift,” she breathes out. 

“And looked hot doing it,” he replies. This time, she laughs.

She pulls away to take a sip of her drink before resting her forehead against his chest.

“You tired?” 

“A little bit, yeah. Sorry,” she whispers.

“It's okay,” he replies, rubbing her back soothingly. 

“You smell so good. It, like, turns me on. Is that weird?” 

“No, it's pretty normal. I turn a lot of people on with how good I smell. That's how I keep a high patient satisfaction score”. 

Victoria laughs again. “Oh, I'm jealous,” she jokes. 

“Nah, you're the only one who gets to have me,” he replies, moving the hand on her waist to run his fingers through her hair. 

“I feel special, then”.

“You are very special for very different reasons,” he nods. He stares at her for a few seconds more before pushing her head towards him and meeting her halfway for another kiss. 

Victoria melts right into him, and he takes a moment to pull away both their drinks before holding her against his body again. 

“Can we go to your bedroom?” she whispers.

John hums in response and leads her down the hall. He makes sure the cat stays outside before closing the door. 

Victoria looks around before sitting down in the bed. She kicks off her shoes and he does the same. He drops into the bed dramatically and she chuckles before crawling to him. 

“I miss you,” she says softly, resting on top of him. John's hands go under her shirt and lay flat on her back.

“Yeah?” 

“I don't like not seeing you everyday,” she murmurs then laughs nervously. “Oh, that sounded needy”. 

He huffs a chuckle. “I don't like it either”.

He kisses her long and slowly, one of his hands grabbing her ass while the other one keeps her head steady, until she's grinding down on his leg, whimpering into his mouth. 

“Definitely like you needy, though,” he mumbles. 

She hides her face on the crook of his neck and groans. “You—god, you don't understand,” she mumbles. 

“Believe me, I do,” he mutters, squeezing the skin of her waist.

“I've been so… riled up,” she continues. “It's like, like… like I'm itching all the time. Like my body is just one big mosquito bite that itches”. 

“You should be a poet,” he teases. 

Victoria huffs and nudges him. “I'm serious”.

“Yeah, you make me horny too,” he teases again and she goes back to hiding her face. “Oh, come on! Let me see you, it's okay”. 

She groans and pulls her head up. Her cheeks are warm and bright red and her eyes are glassy. 

“Don’t make fun of me,” she whispers.

“I promise you I'm not”. 

“Do you wanna have sex with me?” 

“Yes, very much. I'm not in a hurry, though”. 

“Well, I am,” she complains.

“Cause you're itching,” he teases. 

“Yes!” 

“Okay, we can have sex”.

“I'm gonna be, like, really bad, and super awkward,” she warns him.

He laughs again. “And sexy, and hot. I can live with that”. 

“I might not,” she huffs.

“Not be able to live with that?” 

“Not be sexy and hot,” she clarifies. 

“Impossible, you already are. You always are”. 

She rolls her eyes and it's about to respond when John rolls them over to lay on top of her. 

“Oh, this is fun,” she giggles, her hands going to cup his face above her.

“My god, you're beautiful,” he mumbles before kissing her neck.

Victoria moans in response. John's hands are suddenly everywhere, but he moves slowly, giving her time to adjust, time to move him off, but she doesn't. It feels weird for a moment, how he presses her down on bed, but then it just feels so good, and so normal. He whispers words of encouragement in her ear, and she would like to say something, about how hot he is, how much he wants to feel him, how crazy he's driving her too, but she just can't do anything but to whimper and moan and whine a little. 

She manages to tug his shirt until he gets the hint and takes it off himself. Victoria swallows and traces her hands down his skin, and John just glances down at her, watching her stare at his naked torso with a small smile.

“Are you still having fun?” he checks after a few seconds. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah. A lot of fun,” she nods, then clears her throat. “You're, like, really hot, John”. 

“Thank you, Victoria,” he teases. 

“You can take my shirt off,” she informs him, moving to sit down. “And my pants too”. 

He gives her a small nod and kisses her cheek before tugging her shirt off. 

“I didn't get to shower after my shift,” she remembers once the shirt is off, feeling her cheeks warm up again.

“Gross,” he jokes, pushing his head on her neck and then on her chest, sniffing jokingly. She laughs and pushes him. “You smell good”. 

“I doubt that,” she grimaces.

“You also doubt yourself looking hot, so forgive me but your opinion it's just wrong sometimes”. 

Victoria giggles at that and brings him down to kiss him again. She clumsily unbuckles his belt. John hums and helps her tug down his pants. With only his underwear, she can see how hard he is, and also how big. She stares nervously. 

“You wanna stop?” 

“No! No,” she shakes her head and then slides off her own jeans. 

“Oh, matching set?” John teases, hooking his finger on her underwear. It's indeed a matching purple lace set she got two years ago and never used. 

She bites her lower lip and looks down at herself. “Do you like it?” 

“I love it. You're really beautiful. I mean that,” he reassures her, pushing her down again. 

Victoria lays back and lets him kiss her neck, cleavage and ribcage, giggling a little. His hands roam her hips and one of them presses above her underwear. She moans loudly, bucking her hips up to add more pressure. 

John smiles and his other hand squeezes one of her tits gently, before pushing her bra up. Once they are out, he leans to kiss them softly before sucking a nipple in.

“Oh, wow,” she breathes out. “Fuck—”. 

“That feels good?” he asks against her skin. Victoria nods immediately. He continues while he moves her panties to the side with his other hand, and slips one finger between her folds. “Fuck, you're wet”. 

“I told you,” she whimpers. 

He groans and rests his forehead on her chest, right between her breasts, before glancing up at her. “You finger yourself?” 

“Uh, yeah. I have a dildo,” she replies shyly, voice low and deep. 

“Oh, that's good,” he manages to say. He kisses her lips as he dips one finger inside, and then another. 

Victoria moans. It already feels so good she could cry, but then John presses the heel of his hand right into her clit and she feels like she could die. She grinds onto it, desperate, moaning loudly. 

“Shh, shh, baby, I have neighbors,” he mumbles, placing soft kisses on her cheek. 

“God, I'm sorry. It just feels so good,” she whispers. 

“Yeah? Does it?”

She nods, moving her head until she finds his lips. She comes after a few more thrusts of her hips, pulsing around his fingers. He doesn't pull out immediately, instead leaves his hand there while he kisses her gently. 

“Please,” she mumbles.

“What?” 

“I want you inside. Please?” 

John whimpers, he actually whimpers, before pulling his fingers out. He turns around and grabs a condom from his bedside table. Victoria incorporates slightly to take off her bra and slides off her panties, while he takes off his boxers and puts the condom on. 

“You're bigger than the dildo I use,” she blurts out. 

“Good, that's probably good for my ego at least,” he laughs as he positions himself between her legs. John glances down at her. “You still wanna keep going?”.

“Yes. Just go slow,” she whispers. 

He nods and starts pushing inside her. “Relax, baby,” he says, rubbing her thighs soothingly. And she tries. “You’re doing great—Fuck, you're tight”. 

“John,” she whimpers, closing her eyes. 

“You're good, you're so good. I should go to hell, you know? Should've gone to hell the first time I saw you”. 

Victoria moans. She opens her eyes to see John looking between their bodies in concentration. She follows his gaze and watches as his cock pushes in. 

“You're taking me so well. So well,” he says, looking back at her. “Just a little more. Can you take a little more, Victoria?” 

She nods. John reaches out and pinches one of her nipples which makes her pulse around him. He moans and takes his fingers to his clit, which makes her jump a little. 

“That's it,” he coaxes her. “There you go”. 

Once he's in, he stays still for a moment, kissing her instead. Then, he gives a tentative thrust and Victoria loses her mind completely. This is what it feels like , she thinks, over and over, while John picks up a pace. 

She moans, clinging to him desperately. His hips snap into her and grind against her clit and it takes her just a few minutes before coming again, with her legs around him. He stays put while she does, just slightly rocking. 

“Fuck, you feel so good. Better than anything, Victoria. Just perfect,” he mumbles against her collarbone. Just the pressure it's enough to make him come, the pulses of her around him, the way her muscles milk him. He grunts into her skin and whimpers for a few times before gently sliding out of her and dropping into the bed. 

She wishes he would've stayed inside. That's her only complaint, and she tells him that much, to which he chuckles. 

“I'm serious, I feel kinda empty,” she nuzzles into his chest and John hugs her and presses closer to her. 

“Yeah? You want my fingers?” he asks after placing a soft kiss on her temple. 

Victoria thinks about it for a second before nodding. “But just leave them there, don't… move ‘em”. 

He chuckles softly again and complies, burying two fingers inside her. She whimpers happily and closes her eyes. John watches her face, just staring at her.

After a while, she showers and he orders them sushi. They eat in bed, with some random reality show in the background. 

“You know, I think I really like neurology,” she comments between bites. 

“Yeah?” he asks with a smile. 

“Yeah… Less bloody in a way, but still urgent, obviously. Less talking with the patients, sometimes, which is great because I'm terrible with people…” she trails off, popping another piece of sushi into her mouth. 

“You're not terrible with people. You're a little awkward at most”. 

“Big understatement,” she mumbles, mouth half full. 

“You're a great doctor and a great yapper, Javadi,” he teases. 

She huffs. “Doesn't mean I'm good with people”.

“Considering how sheltered you grew up, I think you're pretty good,” he shrugs. 

“You always manage to turn everything into a compliment,” she points out, smiling despite herself. 

“It's easy to say the truth,” he says casually, and Victoria feels her heart squeezing on her chest. She swallows. 

John glances up at her. “What?” 

“Nothing. You're, like, really sweet?” 

He smiles and leans to kiss her forehead. 

“So, neurology?” 

“Yes. Maybe. What do you think?” 

“I think it's great for you. Big brain specialty for a big brained girl”. 

She chuckles. “Yeah. And Pittsburgh has a great neurology team. Imagine if I get a match there”. 

“Oh, I think you totally will. I’ll write you one stunnishing recommendation letter.”

“Yeah, that's not happening”. 

He huffs playfully. “Rude”.

Movie dates have become a common thing. John has Wednesdays off, so they go watch whatever the small, independent theater is airing, usually reruns of classic movies from the 30 and 40s, which Victoria comes to love. 

The best part is that it's mostly just the two of them and some other couple or artsy film students in the room, so if they get too bored they can just make out a little. Just a little. 

She giggles, shushing him for the third time when he speaks a little too loudly in her ear. 

“I was never a big fan of Orson Welles,” he whispers teasingly before kissing her jaw. She pushes him away playfully. 

“Oh, you don't like one of the most infamous film directors to which historians attribute contemporary films? You're so different ”, she teases back, rolling her eyes. 

“Look at that, she does her research,” he mumbles between kisses.

“I took a few elective classes in college,” she shrugs. 

John pulls away and gives her an incredulous look. “Really?” 

“Yeah. Just two, I dropped from the third because Eileen said I was wasting my time,” she replies, popping popcorn into her mouth. 

“Of course she said that,” John mumbles, annoyed. 

“What's your deal with Welles anyway?” she asks once they are out of the theater.

John shrugs, moving to hold her hand. “I just find him egocentric. Very douchebaggy”.

“I would be too if I made Citizen Kane at 24,” she replies, tugging his arm playfully.

“You're just saying that because you'll be an attending by 25,” he huffs with a smile. 

“God,” she whines. “Don't say that”. 

He chuckles and pushes her into a hug. “My poor prodigy baby, scared of the future,” he jokes, squishing her in his arms. 

Victoria huffs and then chuckles, hugging him back. “I'm not scared”. 

“My poor prodigy lying baby,” he corrects, placing a kiss on her forehead. “You've gotten good”.

She huffs again, pretending to be offended. They walk to the ladies bathroom and John waits outside for her. When she comes back, he's just done talking with one of the theater employees, Harry, who always puts extra butter on their popcorns and makes light conversion when they get half an hour early there—Victoria is very particular with her schedule and rathers wait than stressing out about possibly being late. 

She walks up to him with a curious look as she glances at the pamphlet John's holding. 

“Harry was just telling me about this club they have going on. They get together Friday nights and discuss whatever movie they agree on,” he comments, handing her the paper. 

“Oh, that's cool!” she says as they start walking out. 

“You know, I think you should go,” John says, nudging her arm. 

“What?” 

“It might be fun. You like movies,” he shrugs. He pulls the keys of his car from his pocket and opens it.

Victoria gets inside, still eying at the pamphlet. “Not enough to be in a study group”.

“Why not?”

“What would I even say?” she replies, with a slightly defensive tone John recognizes immediately.

He turns to her and smiles. “You're very smart, you have a lot to say”. 

Victoria looks down. She places the paper on the side of the door and buckles her seatbelt.

“I would go if I could, but I work Friday nights. You could go after work,” he continues. 

She hums, taking the paper again. “Maybe”. 

She DMs the Instagram account for details and gets the whole program for the year. She watches all the movies they had already watched in preparation, just to be on with the schedule, and shows up, still on her scrubs, the next Friday.

There are about fifteen people, counting her and Harry, who organizes. He introduces her very amicably, and of course makes a remark about how she's a doctor and only 21, wow! She has to correct him and explain she's a student doctor, but she's not sure anyone cares. 

Everyone's really nice. They are mostly her age, except for an old married couple who she guesses are well into their 70s. There's also Harry's college film teacher, a kind and enthusiastic 50-something year old woman, who provides a bit of a theoretical background. 

She fidgets on her seat while they all catch up about their life, like it's one big friend group, and feels slightly out of place. She texts John this much: 

Everyone knows each other :( 

I feel dumb haha

I didn't even change from my scrubs lol I probably look crazy 

To which he replies, almost right away: 

Ure fine 

I believe in you!! 

Ure sexy 

Even after a 12 hr shift 

She bits down a smile and puts her phone away. Eventually, they start talking about the movie of the week, 35 Rhums , and Harry makes a big effort to get her to talk, to which she complies. The whole time she thinks nothing can be worse your first shift in the ER, you're fine .  

An hour later, she calls John from her car, still parked in the parking lot.

“Hey! How was it?” he asks. She can hear some background noise at first and then quiet, so she guesses he went out into the ambulance bay. 

“I was so smart! I, like, talked about what I thought, and they agreed, John,” she says, excitedly. “Like not just an answer to a text book question, I mean, I gave opinions!”

He chuckles on the other side of the line. “Yeah?” 

“And, like, Patricia—Harry's uni professor— said that I was right about something that I pointed out and that she hadn't thought about it before,” she continues. 

“See? Told you you'd have a nice time!” 

“They laughed at my jokes too. Well, I made three, they laughed at two, which is pretty good”. 

“66% success rate,” he chuckles. 

She giggles and breathes out. “I’m sorry, you're probably busy”.

“It's okay, I'm glad you called,” he replies simply. “Are you heading home?”

“Oh, yeah, I'm exhausted. I need to shower. And food”. 

“You ate the KitKat I left you?” 

“Yes, I did. At 8am. Not very healthy”. 

They talk for a few more minutes before John gets pulled into work again and Victoria finally drives home. 

Her mom is sitting on the table, reading some essays, when she gets there, and she does her best to go unnoticed. 

“Victoria, honey, you missed dinner,” she frowns. 

“Oh, sorry mom. I thought I'd make it in time,” she says, walking mindlessly to the kitchen to reheat some food. 

“Where were you?” 

“Uh, I went to this club—like, a film study group,” she breathes out. 

“Film? Movies?” 

“Yeah”. 

“Where did you get that?” 

“I got an ad for it on Instagram,” she lies. John is right, she's getting good at it. 

Her mom nods, watching her with attention. 

“And what? You talk about movies?” 

“Basically”.

Victoria grabs a fork from the drawer and her food from the microwave before starting to walk upstairs.

“You read the papers I sent you via email?” 

She stops on the stairs and turns around. “No, I didn't”.

“I wanted to discuss them tonight, I told you. There are very interesting neurology advances that—”.

“I'm sorry, maybe tomorrow?”

“Maybe?” her mother asks incredulously. Victoria swallows. 

“Mom, I really just want to eat and go to sleep now”.

“Well, you have time to spare if you spent an hour and a half talking about movies,” she points out. 

Victoria clears her throat. She looks down at the plate of food on her hands and then up at her mom. 

“Yeah, I had two hours to spare on a Friday night and I spent them doing something fun, what's wrong with that?” 

“Nothing—if it were just that. But you’re also going out every Wednesday. And don’t think I’m stupid enough to believe you’re staying at Trinity’s. I haven’t said anything, but I know you deactivated your location”. 

Victoria swallows, her face turning red. She feels like crying already. 

“And I didn’t say anything because it was not jeopardizing your career and education, but now it is…”

“Mom—”.

“...So put yourself together, Victoria. We worked too damn hard for you to throw it all away over the first boyfriend who comes along”. 

Victoria clears her throat again and nods. “Right. Okay”. 

She goes up to her bedroom, cries, eats and takes a shower before crying herself some more until she falls asleep. 

John rubs her back, the way he always does when she's stressed. She sniffs against his shoulder, straddling his lap. 

“I'm sorry, it's not even like—”. 

“It's okay,” he assures her.

“I didn't fall behind. Dr. Mehta says I'm one of the best students he’s seen in a long time,” she complains, her voice strained and weak.

“You’re doing great,” John nods. “Abbot told me about how you handled a stroke consult all by yourself. He was impressed”.

“Then why isn't she ?” she whines. “Why is everyone so… but not her?” 

John breathes out, a deep sigh that seems to never end. “I don't know”. 

She huffs and pulls away to dry off her tears, glancing down at him. John cups her face, strokes her cheeks with his thumbs, gently.

“I’m so tired,” she whispers.

“I know,” he nods, his eyebrows frowned and lips tight. She's never seen him so serious before and it makes her stomach drop. She goes back to hiding her face on the crook of his neck and he lets her, hugging her. 

“You're not doing anything wrong. You're smart, and talented, and even if you were to drop or get behind a few years, you'd still be all that,” he whispers. 

She hums against his skin and places a soft peck there. “I'm sorry I'm crying on your day off”. 

He chuckles at that, shaking his head. “It's okay. I love you”.

She doesn't register the words for a few seconds, or she does, but it takes her a little while to realize them. When she does, her head snaps up at him.

“Huh?” 

“I love you,” he repeats, simply.

“Oh. Really?” 

He chuckles again and nods. “Yeah, sure”.

“‘Sure’?”

“Yes, I love you”.

She stares at him for a few seconds until his smile drops a little. “You don't have to say it or feel it too—”.

“No, I do! I love you, too,” she hurries to say. “Sorry, I just wasn't expecting that”.

“It was kind of a dick move saying it right now. It's just slipped,” he grimaces. 

She smiles at him and sniffs before leaning for a kiss. 

“I'm sorry, you're dating who?” Trinity basically screams. 

They are sitting on her and Dennis’ couch. Victoria pacing anxiously around the living room.

“John. Shen. Dr. Shen,” she mumbles out again. They both stare at her like she's crazy. “Don't say anything, okay? Not to Mel. If you tell Mel, Mel is gonna tell Samira, and if Samira knows, then Abbot knows, and—”.

“You're dating Dr. Shen?” Trinity peeps. “How? Since when?” 

“Uh… about eight months?” 

“Eight months?” Whitaker yells. 

“He’s like, old, Victoria!” Trinity mumbles out. 

“Garcia is old too, and that doesn't stop you,” she replies and Trinity huffs. 

The bell rings and Dennis stands up to open the door for Mel and Samira to come in, holding a bottle of wine each. 

“Hey, guys, sorry we are late—What’s with that face, Trinity?” Samira questions. 

“Victoria is dating Dr. Shen,” Dennis blurts out.

“Dennis!” 

“What?” Samira says, eyes wide. 

“Our attending, Dr. Shen?” Mel asks, mouth slightly open in surprise. 

Victoria thinks she's showing a lot of self control by not killing Dennis right there on the spot. 

She panics ten minutes into the conversation and Samira is quickly next to her, rubbing her arm gently.

“Hey, it's okay!” 

“He wants to come clean but I'm scared my mom is gonna get him fired or something,” she mumbles out. 

“I mean, it is a little unprofessional—,” Mel starts, earning a wide-eyed look from Samira. 

“I'm pretty sure Robby and Collins had a thing when she was a med student,” Samira offers. 

“What?” Dennis mumbles. 

Trinity scoots over on the couch. “Really?” 

“They do have a particular vibe to them,” Mel nods. 

“Langdon told me once. I don't know,” Samira trails off. 

“Whatever. It's whatever! You're dating Shen. Samira has a weird thing with Abbot. Robby with Collins. I've sex with half the women on the surgical team and Ellis. It's not a big deal,” Trinity decides, clapping her hands after a few seconds of awkward silence. 

“None of that sounds very professional,” Mel mumbles out before taking a sip of the wine Dennis opened at some point. Victoria glances up at her, her eyes glassy and Mel hurries to add: “But I totally support you! All of you! Shen looks like a good guy. Abbot scares me a little. So does Garcia… Ellis is nice, though”.

Trinity breathes out a laugh and pats her back. “Thank you for your blessing, Mel”. 

John doesn't come even close to getting fired. They get a call from HR that's just a fifteen minute talk about being professional, and since Victoria is just about to start her residency in the Neurology department, covering mostly day shifts, they don't really see each other much at work anyways.

Her mom and her do get into a big fight about it, but ends up with Shamsi just asking her to invite John for dinner to properly introduce them, which she does. And it's the worst night of her life—arguably John's too—, but she survives it, and any fuss about their relationship at work gets completely overlooked when Langdon rejoins the ER department after rehab. Victoria doesn't want to sound mean, but she's really glad this is the case.

“Like, I'm not glad he's an addict! Just… glad he's coming back at a convenient time for us,” she clarifies to John over the phone, walking into the theater for another meeting with the club. 

She hears him laugh and imagines him throwing his head back. “Right”. 

“I mean it! Okay, I gotta go. We are talking about Stella Dallas tonight, it's very important,” she says, voice slightly agitated. 

“God, now you're a movie nerd too”.

“You love it,” she jokes.

“I do, I love you”.

“Love you too, bye!”

Chapter Text

Victoria hurries out of the elevator, passing through the people without glancing at them twice.

"Hey, Dana. Where's Shen?" she asks, a bit breathless. 

"Think he's in the break room with Robby," Dana replies, busy enough to not even look up at her.

"Thanks," Victoria mumbles while turning around.

"You have a pending neuro consult with King on Trauma 2!" Dana reminds her.

"Yes, I'll get right to it!" she waves off, picking up her pace to get to the break room. 

John is there, leaning against the counter, chatting with Robby casually. 

"I will kill you," Victoria says as she sees him, then turns to Robby. "Hi, Dr. Robby, sorry about this, but I have to kill him". 

Robby breathes out a chuckle and nods. "I see".

"Hi, baby, princess, sweetheart," John chimes with a charming crooked smile.

"John," she mutters. "Why did you buy two cat beds?" 

"I didn't—how did you know? It was supposed to be a surprise!" 

"I have your email account on my phone, I get all your emails, we talked about this!" Victoria squeals.

"Okay, I think I'm gonna get back out there and... Yeah. Nice to see, Dr. Javadi," Robby quickly says while slipping out of the room. 

"We are not getting another cat," Victoria says decisively. John just takes a step closer and puts his hands on her arms, rubbing them soothingly.

"Both beds are for Darth Vader, he's a picky boy," he tries. 

"John".

"You look beautiful today," he tries again. 

"We are not getting another cat!"

"Why not? They can be friends! A patient came in with a cat bite after rescuing a few kittens and I just couldn't say no," John explains.

"Oh my god, I hate you," Victoria mutters rubbing her eyes. 

"You wanna see our child? I'm picking her up after the shift," he says, taking out his phone. 

"John, I swear to god—Oh my god, she's beautiful," Victoria chimed, looking at the picture of the kitten. "Okay, I'm naming her Susan Alexander. You will change her litter, no exceptions, and if we ever break up she's coming with me".

"I'm... not sure about all of those conditions, but I feel like I'm also in no position to argue about it, so..." John trails off, putting his phone back into his pocket.

"Glad we came to an understanding," Victoria smiles and reaches up to place a soft kiss on his lips.

"You look hot when you get pissed off," John comments, holding her close for another kiss. 

"You're weird, I gotta go. Consult with Mel," she pulls away. "I love you, don't get any more pets without telling me".

"I make no promises, love you!" John speaks while she leaves.