Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Carlos” Charles panted.

His breathing was shallow, he couldn't stop the bleeding. He can feel his life leaving his body. He pressed his hand tightly to his stomach where the sword was driven in. He looked down to see the height of the clif he's sitting on. It's so deep that he can't see the end of it. He couldn't support his body, his legs gave out. 

The sunlight made it harder for Charles to look at Carlos. Charles tried to adjust his eyesight and take in the last look of his Carlos before he lost him for good. 

Carlos stood before Charles with blood all over his body, wounds from sword but he's stable. Unlike Charles's attire, Carlos had his armour to protect him. 

There was an arrow still driven in Carlos's leg, bleedingly Carlos stood before Charles, lending his hands to touch his soulmate for one last time.

“In the name of my last breath, I'm asking you, was my love a delusion?” Charles whispered the words out. 

Carlos fell on his knees before Charles, he tried to place his hand above Charles's but he couldn't reach. Carlos held back his last breaths to say the words that Carlos wanted to say to Charles ever since he met Charles, the prince of Zovender.

“Charles,” His breathing is heavy. He tried to form the words.

“It was never a delusion. It was real”

Carlos couldn't lift his eyes to see Charles. After all the things he said and did to Charles for the past week. He just couldn't.

“Our love was real but before I could say this to you–” Carlos hitched as he lifted his head to see Charles. Charles didn't see his eyes anymore. 

Carlos tried to wrap his mind, fear, panic, anxiety roamed around his body with the pain of knowing Charles was gone without him. 

Charles, the prince of Zovender left without knowing that Carlos loved him back. Carlos tried to rush closer to Charles but the wounds and bleeding didn't make it easier. He wanted to touch Charles for one last time, to hold Charles against him and die with a smile. 

But fate played a trick in that too, Charles's body slipped down as Charles didn't hold onto anything anymore. Carlos saw Charles fall down from the clip, he saw the soulless body go down. With the wanting to hold him, the wanting to show that he loved him back, with the wanting to die with Charles, Carlos jumped from the cliff to be with Charles. 

He tries to get a brush of his hands with Charles, but gravity and Storm winds separate them. With the knowledge that Charles didn't get to hear the three words which Charles always wanted to hear from Carlos and Himself not getting to touch Charles's hand one last time, Carlos closed his eyes to end his life. 

______

Carlos woke up with his head throbbing. He should have stayed home with his family but instead went on skiing with Charles and look what happened. 

His body shivered with chillness.

“Who asked you to go skiing when you already got cold?” His father scolded him as he placed a hot soup in front of Carlos. 

“Gracias” Carlos said as he unwrapped the blankets around him. 

“¿Dónde está mamá?” Carlos asked.

“She's making you another soup,” Carlos Sr said.

“Argh. I will be fine” Carlos sighed but a cough interpreted them.

“What were you saying?” Carlos Sr asked.

“Alright. I get your point. I'm not fine but it's not a big deal”

Carlos sr patted his son's shoulder.

“Take rest, Mi Mijo” Carlos Sr said with a hint of saying ‘My poor boy, it is a big deal’

Carlos watched his dad close the door behind him on his way out. 

He drank the soup slowly and flopped back to the bed with tissue wiping away the mucous of his nose. His phone vibrated.

Carlos took his phone in his hand and saw it's from Charles.

The trip was awesome.

How are you feeling?

From Charl🤴

The trip was indeed awesome but it's not the same anymore for Carlos. The air between them shifted that night on the loft, Carlos still couldn't shake off the feeling he felt that night. 

Carlos typed out a thumbs up and flopped back.

He doesn't want to ghost Charles but constantly thinking about him is not helping.

He coughed and regretted it right away because his mother entered the room with another bowl of soup with worried eyes.

Before his mother could ask anything, Carlos answered, “I will be fine” 

“Drink this” His mother placed the bowl next to the empty one which his father brought.

“Did you have your tablets?” She asked. 

“Si” 

Carlos' mother watched his son drink the soup. Carlos knew what his mother wanted from him but he wouldn't just give it. 

“So?” Carlos' mother dragged.

“So what?”

His mother rolled her eyes and said,

“So what happened with your trip?” 

Carlos nodded and said, “It was fun. Early morning wake up, late night sleeping. Proper hangout” 

“That's good! That's- that's awesome. What about the other things?”

“What other things?” Carlos asked 

“Things you have done without your friends?”

“Charles was always there with me,” Carlos said with confidence.

Carlos' mother rolled her eyes.

“So you didn't meet anyone new?” Reyes asked.

Carlos shook his head with satisfaction.

“Why are you like this?” 

“Like what?” Carlos loves to tease his mother.

“Act like you are 30” Carlos' mother pushed him.

“Then treat me like 30” Carlos whined.

Reyes sighed. 

Carlos took pity on her.

“Ma, The answer to your unasked question is, No! I didn't find my soulmate there”

Carlos said calmly.

Reyes tried to hide her disappointment but Carlos knew what she's feeling.

“I know you hoped that I would met my soulmate but I couldn't find her” 

Yes, Soulmate. There is a myth in the Sainz’s family that every member of their family will find their soulmate and it's true. Everyone did. 

His sisters, his parents, His cousins.

Everyone except Carlos. 

Carlos didn't mind finding his soulmate. He heard Sainz soulmate stories ever since he was a child. The stories amused him. Sure he hoped to find his soulmate one day but at the rate things are going, His faith is fading.

Reyes placed her hand on Carlos's.

“It's alright. Maybe try some other time”

Carlos shook his head.

“I'm done” 

Teenager Carlos would hang himself rather than say these words aloud but WAKE UP, He's not sweet sixteen anymore. He's thirty and the real world sucks. 

He's done with finding this soulmate shit. He turned thirty but still didn't find his soulmate.

His mother asked him to visit their family astrologer. 

Carlos obeyed his mother's word. 

“By the look of the stars, you are going to meet your partner very soon”

“How soon is very soon?” Carlos asked.

“In this winter, you will find the person in the mountains who is clueless about your soulmate things”

Carlos nodded but asked,

“Mountains?”

The astrologer smiled, “Just go with the flow” 

And Carlos did exactly what he asked to do. Gone with flow. Charles invited Carlos to go skiing with him, Lando did too but Carlos knew Lando would make fun of Carlos in front of his soulmate so Carlos went with Charles, who organised everything on the trip. 

When Carlos told him about meeting his soulmate on the mountains, Charles laughed. 

“Mate, you should have gone with Lando. At Least he would understand this shit”

“It's not a shit– I know astrology is not everyone's cup of tea but trying doesn't hurt right?”

“Whatever,” Charles laughed.

Carlos regretted saying the soulmate thing to Charles. Sure Charles knew about the Sainz soulmate stories long back, he was also mesmerized by the stories but when Carlos met an astrologer to find his soulmate, things started to look ridiculous.

Charles teased him on the whole trip. Whenever he got an opportunity he cracked puns about soulmate. 

At first it was funny when it was between Carlos and Charles. As everyone started to get included, Carlos started to feel unknown rage towards Charles. 

Carlos tried not to show it. Carlos tried to act mature until the night where everyone participated in a campfire and things went southwards. 

Carlos walked away from the place. Yes, everyone was drunk and talked shit but something doesn't easily get forgotten just because they said it when they are drunk. 

Carlos ignored the talks and went to his room. He ghosted Charles and his friends for the rest of the trip. 

“What do you mean you are done?”

Reyes asked.

“You heard me. I'm done with finding my soulmate. I'm going back to dating and going to take things like normal people would do”

“Who said no to dating?” Reyes asked with shock.

Yes, there is no barricade for Dating because soulmates just won't fall from the sky in front of us. The faith is, Sainz family members will feel a spark when they touch their soulmate, a wave, a feeling of knowing that the other person is their soulmate. They would foresee the future with them. 

Carlos heard about the feeling, shock or spark whatever the couple's of his family called it. He always wanted to experience but right now, he doesn't give a shit. 

Maybe it's not as magical as it would be. It will be just like other people who get married, perhaps this sainz family is exarigating these types of things. 

“Ma, the winter is almost over. I went to the mountains as you asked, nothing happened. Maybe I don't have soulmate”

“No! Sainz family members always have” His mother tried to prove her point.

“If it's true then it will happen. You can't force me anymore*

“But–”

“Please, with the new season and new team. I have to focus on that, not waiting for that stupid spark” 

Carlos said.

His mother knew she couldn't do anything anymore. She nodded.

“I'm sorry” Both of them apologize for disappointing each other. 

After his mother left, Carlos hit his Spotify playlist. 

Until I Found You by Stephen Sanchez, started to play, Carlos listened to the soothing voice.

I would never fall in love again until I found her.

I said, "I would never fall unless it's you I fall into”

—-------------

If Carlos said it's not hurting to find Charles with Lewis, then he's lying. To be honest, it's not that bad. 

It is bad, just not that bad. He wrapped up his mind. His new team and his teammate Alex is understanding. 

“Hello” Carlos waved as he walked past the Ferrari house.

“Hola” Charles smiled and walked to him.

“So? pumped up for the race?” 

“Yeah a little bit” Carlos laughed. Charles just stared at him.

“What?” Carlos asked with raised eyebrows.

“Nothing! I just– I don't know. Maybe I just missed your laughs”

Carlos snorted. 

“What?” Charles asked.

“Mate, you said it yourself. I'm just at the end of the garage” 

“I do said that. I just– drop it” Charles shook his head and Carlos rolled his eyes.

“Also, we just spent the winter holidays together. So I don't think it's a big deal”

“Yeah! Yeah! No it's - yeah” Charles said.

“Did you had your coffee because you are blabbering” Carlos folded his arms.

Charles Chuckled, “No offence to the team but without you the coffee here is shit”

Carlos laughed and leaned to whisper,

“Suffer” and walked away.

Charles rolled his eyes as Carlos walked away from him. He don't remember much from the campfire night but he something did happen because Carlos is acting werid. The conversion right now they hand is normal but Carlos didn't seem like his usual self. Maybe he is really adjusting like Arthur said. Charles should quite worrying. Carlos is a adult. He can take care of himself.

The media day is quite stressful. Without Carlos by his side, it was getting into his nerves. Right now Charles need a break. 

“Can we take a five?” Charles asked.

His Pr team checked with others and gave him a ten.

Charles walked out the room to his room. He flopped to the bed and sighed. His back felt good as it hit the mattress.

He heard a knock. He doesn't want to stood up. 

“I'm busy” Charles said 

“Let me give you this” One of his team member said.

“Argh! Get in” Charles stood up as the person enter with papers.

“What's that?”

“Things you need to get prepared for the press”

Charles felt weak but he nodded and got it in his hand. “Also this”

“GRACIEEE” Charles thanked him.

 He smiled and left him alone.

Charles turned the cup slightly to find,

“Have a great day, My Lord” 

And just like that Charles knew whose handwriting is this. He chuckled as he sip the coffee and his neurons got fired.

Charles thanked Carlos mentally. With or without beside Charles, Carlos always got Charles's back.

Carlos’s first point for Williams coming at the expense of Ferrari is something no one would see coming. Carlos laughed at the memes but still some part in him was sad for Charles. He knew how beat up Charles would be right now. Carlos doesn't want to spike things with Charles so he didn't check on him because he's pretty sure Charles has seen all the memes about Carlos getting points. He would probably be mad but he was wrong. 

Carlos was ready to check out. When he opened the door, there was Charles standing in the corridor, speaking to someone.

“I know- Ah! I know” Charles palmed his face with frustration.

Carlos tried to sneak out but his heart couldn't. 

“Are you alright?” 

Charles rolled his eyes and continued to speak with the person on the phone.

Carlos shrugged unbelievably. When he tried to walk away, Charles held his hands.

Carlos stood abruptly. Charles holding Carlos's hand is something Carlos will never understand. It stirr something inside him, especially when he walks away. 

 He turned to Charles with annoyance. 

“I'm sorry” Charles mouthed.

And just like that Carlos accepted. 

He knew Charles. 

He knew that he didn't mean it. 

Carlos waited until Charles ended the call.

“I'm sorry, the eye roll was not directed at you. It was meant to my manager”

“What happened?” Carlos asked

“I missed my flight and this whole thing just sucks” Charles whined.

Carlos gave him a sad smile.

“I'm sorry about that,” Carlos said with empathy.

Charles reflected Carlos's sad smile.

“Hey! Congratulations on your points” Charles patted Carlos's shoulder.

“Thanks, mate” Carlos said and added,

“Hey if you want a ride, I don't mind you joining me”

Charles raised his eyebrows.

“Aren't you going with Albano?” 

“I was supposed to but Lilly planned a surprise party I guess so he bailed at the last minute,” Carlos said.

“Wow! That's great. I mean- the birthday party” 

Carlos laughed. 

“So, are you in?”

Charles nodded. 

“Not gonna turn down the chance when I can beat you in chess”

They both started to walk off with laughter.

_________

Carlos stirred in his sleep. His muscles twisted, he turned to his left without opening his eyes. Sweats are dripping down his forehead. In his dreams, he's in a palace. There was a beautiful chandelier that was being repaired. The dream was lucid and cloudy; he couldn't see anything particular. 

His dream was cut short and took him to another place where everyone was shouting his name ‘Carlos’ ‘Carlos’.

He's in a fighting arena. Carlos' heart race in real life. He tries to wake up but something pulls him deep in, he's near a mountain cliff with a sword driven in his knees and blood all over his hands and neck. 

And then he heard the voice calling his name. Even in his dreams he knew whom the voice belonged to—Charles.

“Ah” Carlos sat up straight.

He looked around to find himself in his room. Carlos cussed and took the water from the night stand. It was weird, the dream was strange. What is the meaning of this dream? Before Carlos could dwell on it, he opened his phone to find a text from his sister.

We are visiting next week.

Carlos sighed and flopped back. He has to find someone to date in one week so that his sisters won't go playing wingman games with him. Because one time they did, it went horrible.

________

“Ay, please Landoooo” Carlos asked on the phone.

“Mate, she's not even in the town” Lando whined. 

Carlos sighed.

“Why can't you find a fake girlfriend in your friends circle” Lando asked 

“Easy to get caught,” Carlos shrugged.

Lando nodded. 

“Ask your team mate,” Lando said.

“Char–I mean Alex?” 

Lando watched him with narrow eyes.

“You never slipped my name instead of his,” Lando accused him.

“I'm ending the call, Bye”

“Alright! Alright” Lando raised his hands.

“Will you help me or not?” Carlos asked.

“Fine! Promise me that you will buy her a nice present”

Carlos smiled big.

“Thank you, Landdoooo”

“Now cut your big brown eyes short and I will send my add to Cart list, buy me those”

“Those?”

“Yeah! Three or four” Lando shrugged.

Carlos groaned.

“Send it” 

Lando smiled mischievously. 

__________

Carlos looked around his house, it's tidy. The house is ready for guests. Carlos checked the half cooking pasta when he heard the doorbell. He walked out of the kitchen as he wiped his hands on wash cloth and threw it over his shoulder.

He checked the camera to see who was waiting on the other end. It's Zara, the friend Lando suggested. Carlos smiled and opened the door. She had her blond hair up in a bun and her green eyes were sparkling under Carlos's house lights.

He welcomed her with a smile on his face but as soon as he saw what she's wearing his smile was gone.

“Argh” Carlos kept his mouth parted as he crooked his head to the side. 

“Thanks” She stepped inside.

Carlos stood for a moment but soon he closed the door and walked behind her.

She wore nice boots to match the jeans she's wearing. Before Carlos stares at her losing a hanging t-shirt, she speaks,

“Nice house, man,” She said.

“Thank you. Also Thank YOU for accepting. I really appreciate this. I swear I won't make you feel uncomfortable. You can leave whenever you want”

She chuckled.

“Chill, dude”

Carlos left his breath with a chuckle.

“Zara! Welcome” Carlos shook hands with her.

“Thank you, Carlos” 

His eyes keep on moving south. He tried not to let it bother. 

“So when are they arriving?” 

“They won't be here for an hour or two. I will show you around and maybe you and me can catch up something and get ready for the dinner” 

“That sounds cool. I do know something about you so you are in good hands”

Carlos chuckled.

“You sound so cool and make it like nothing. I'm sweating here”

“I can clearly see that” She stepped closer to him and wiped drops of sweat from his forehead. Carlos gulped.

She bit her lips as she stared at him. Carlos stared into her green eyes which reminds him of—

“And see, it's simple like that” 

She stepped back with a smile.

“Huh?” 

Carlos asked.

“We have that chemistry. I can see it—”

Carlos remembered that Lando mentioned that she's a free and carefree soul. 

“----You can answer anything for me and I will manage”

Carlos has to ask this before she kicks him in the balls,

“Sorry, I want to ask this, uhm- I - your dre–I mean–” Carlos chuckled and asked,

“Have you done this before?” 

Her face changed. Wellll!!

“Do I look like a prostitute?” She asked with a hard face.

Carlos rushed, “No! God! No! I mean– it's not wrong. It's just a occupation–”

“You are unbelievable” She turned to stomp out.

“I'm sorry. I was being silly. It's just–”Carlos stood before her.

“Chill! I was just playing with you” 

“Huh?” Carlos looked unbelievably.

She laughed out loud. If Carlos was not nearly into a panicking mode he would have adored her beautiful laugh.

Moment passed,Carlos gave in and laughed with her. Carlos can see what she's trying to do. She's trying to ease him around her.

She's the kind of person who carries warmth everywhere she goes, never too bright but always enough to comfort.

She's just like Lando mentioned.

“Well, Zara, if you want to play mind games with please, don't hesitate to play with my sister and her husband. I would love to confuse them” 

She chuckled.

“You got it”

Well, still the question hangs around him. Why is she wearing this? The previous question was not his question. It's just slipped to mask his original thoughts.

They heard the microwave.

“I will wait in the couch” she said 

“Don't be silly. Let me show you the guest room” Carlos walked her down to the hall.

He checked that she didn't bring any backpacks with her. So this is her outfit for tonight? It can't happen.

“Uhm- so this is your outfit for the night?” Carlos tried to act normal.

She frowned and said, “Yeah, Why not?”

They both stood near the doorway.

“Nothing” Carlos faked his smile.

“What is it?” She asked with a sigh.

“Your shirt–” Carlos shrugged and made a face.

“OMG! Men” she rolled her eyes. 

“My sister won't be here for a hour, we can pick something from the store”

“Mate, are you serious? You can't talk like that—” she started to yell at him.

Carlos looked at her with his puppy eyes and laughed,

“What?” she asked.

“You're gonna laugh, right? Like early? Like you were kidding and I'm okay with it?"

She looked at him unbelievably.

“No?” Carlos crooked his head with self pity.

“Fuck this. These misogynist shits” she walked to the hall. 

Carlos waited for three seconds for her to say, it's chill. 

“Fuck!” Carlos cussed himself and rushed to the hall.

“Zara wait–”

Carlos stood abruptly.

Hell Nah! He bit his tongue trying not to yell. He folded his hands and looked at them. 

Yes, Them. 

There was Zara and her friend, Lando. 

Shocker!

“I bet you would ask her about the top” Lando was laughing. “Look at you face”

Carlos should change his passcode. 

She was laughing and gave a sympathetic face to Carlos.

“Haha! Funny” Carlos rolled his eyes. 

“Man, that was hilarious,” Lando said walked to Carlos.

Carlos pushed him.

“Alright! Alright! I will leave you both alone. 

“Zara, here is your dress” 

“Thank you”

“Bye” Lando wave but stopped near the doorway and asked,

“You really are msogygentic” Lando stated.

“Fuck off! What am I supposed to say to the t shirt written, ‘I like wet pussies””

Zara walked to Carlos with hands on her ears. “Sorry” 

She tried to control her smile.

Even though he's mad, she's cute. Carlos kinda likes her. 

“It's fine,” Carlos laughed.

“So can we catch up real fast this time? Without pranks?” She asked with hopeful eyes.

“Sure,” Carlos smiled.

__________________

Japan welcomed Charles with warmth. Charles smiled to himself as he looked up at the sky. He gave a kiss to the sky and continued his routines. Along the way, he bumped into Carlos.

“Hola” Carlos and Charles shook their hands. 

They talked about their weekend. While they were walking out, Charles saw Carlos constantly checking his phone. It's unlike Carlos. When Charles talks, he just stares at him. What's the change? 

Charles let it slide. They traveled to the hotel in the same car. They talked about memories of last year. Charles and Carlos were laughing just like old times. This is what Charles meant when he said he wouldn't miss Carlos. Because he knew, even if Carlos was not his teammate, Carlos will always be his best friend.

Charles started the Week with postive look, but his Weekend kinda started with red flag. Charles felt something distress in his bones. He's not the type of driver who would get anxious before the race. 

He went to bed earlier not wanting to spend the evening alone with his thoughts. 

But his circardium has other plans. He turned over to other side and sighed with no signs of sleep. 

He took his phone and watched some tik toks. Even though watching it, his mind zones him out of the phone and takes him back to the circuit. 

“Fuck” Charles got down. 

He wore his slippers and went out.

He walked down the hall. A worker spotted him. Charles tried to act cool like he didn't see how happy the man's face went. To his professional integrity, the man didn't approach him at the dead ass o’ clock. 

Charles went to him, 

“Excuse me, is the pool still open?” Charles asked.

He nodded. 

Charles left him with a smile.

Charles sat on the sunlounger. He watched the stars, it started to smooth him. A single star caught his eyes. He chuckled as it alone shined bright.

“What are you trying to say?” Charles asked. Thinking the star as Jules.

“Oh, you like the helmet,” Charles smiled again. 

“Thank you,” Charles replied. He misses Jules. 

Even when he tried, he couldn't take his eyes off the sky. He knew he should get some sleep but he let the worries pass him. It eased his mind and heart. 

It didn't take so much time for Charles to let sleep pull him in. As he started to feel his eyelid close, it felt good to sleep in the open air under the sky of stars. 

The sleep was blank. He didn't remember what time he slept or who covered him with bedsheets. 

Charles woke with a peace and confusion about who pampered him. Charles removed the sheets from him and checked the time. 

It's still early. He has time to slip past people and reach his room. When he gathered belonging and went to the door, he spotted the same man he saw last night. 

So he is the reason for the sheets huh? When he walked to the man, he also spotted the out of service board hanging outside. Charles' heart filled with gratitude.

He checked his name tag, Santer.

“Thank you so much” Charles shook his hands.

“It's alright. I didn't do much–”

Charles blabbered about how much he wanted this and hugged the person and left the pool. 

_______

To describe the whole race, Charles and Carlos both would say, it's boring Af. 

Charles wanted to fly back home as soon as he wanted but a text from Carlos stopped him.

        -Wanna go to Lando’s party?

Charles totally forgot about that. Lando arranged a birthday party for Oscar.

         -Heard they have karaoke 🎤 

Charles thought about skipping it but he couldn't skip Carlos's singing session. 

Carlos is not the worst but not that good either. Charles missed hearing his stupid thick accent singing.

         -I’m in!!!

Charles threw on a sheer shirt and a blue jean. He styled his hair and went out. 

Lando booked a party hall in the same hotel. As the time Charles went people were fully packed. 

“How many people did Lando invite?”

Charles's eyes searched for Carlos. He couldn't find him. Charles sighed and went to the bar. Max joined him. 

“Hello Charles”

“Argh! The winner of the Japanese Grand prix” Charles and Max shook their hands.

“Thought I wouldn't find you here” Max said.

“Me? Oh yeah! Carlos invited–”

“Oh, That man” Max made a face but hid it soon. 

“Yeah! That man” Charles didn't ask what it meant. 

Fifteen minutes passed as Charles and Max were chatting. Carlos has the sense to invite him but not much sense to join Charles. Charles bet to himself that Carlos must be with Lando somewhere. 

Charles is not an impatient person but tonight, he's losing it. Where the fuck is Carlos? Maybe Charles is overreacting. It's been only twenty minutes. Carlos has other friends in the paddock too. But what's bugging him more was the fact that Lando and Carlos both are missing.

When Charles stood up, his head felt dizzy. At the same time, he felt a ping on his thigh. He groaned as if someone stabbed him with a knife.

“Arghhhhh”

“What happened?” Max asked.

“I—Ahhh” Charles crunched down.

“Hey! Are you alright?” Carlos placed his hand on Charles's shoulder.

It's Charles' imagination or something but once Carlos placed his hands. The pain increased. Where did this MF come from? Charles thought to himself.

“What happened?” Carlos asked to Max

“Idk. He was fine until you arrived” Max said 

“Get a first aid box or something,” Carlos said with panic.

“No! I'm fine” Charles stood straight. His eyes are red. His face turned pink with the pain.

“I'm gonna get back to the room,” Charles said.

“I'm coming with you”

“No!” Charles said as he said, the pain jolted him.

“FUCK” Charles cussed.

“I'm taking you to the room, whether you like it or not,” Carlos said.

“You don't have to” Charles tried but failed

“But I am doing it so shut up cabron” 

Carlos guided Charles to his room. He thought about stepping inside Charles' room but he knew everything around his room so they stopped there. 

“Is it my head or you still haven't packed anything for the flight?” 

Carlos chuckled.

“I’ve afternoon flight”

 Charles nodded. Carlos made him sit on the sofa. 

“I will bring you some medicine and I will call your physician”

“No! No! They must be asleep. Maybe it's just some muscle pull”

Carlos eyed him.

“Wha-arhh-What?” 

Carlos shook his head with laugh.

“Someone worked so much on the bed heh?” Carlos asked

“Oh shut up!” Charles turned pink. 

“It's alright! I'm not judging it” 

“Fuck off, Carlos. I'm going to my room” 

Carlos pulled Charles back to the sofa.

“Alright! Alright. I will not tease you”

Charles rolled his eyes. Carlos and Charles sat close to each other. A minute of silence passed them. 

“So! Do you wanna watch something?” Carlos asked 

“Yeah! I guess. I'm not sleepy? You?"

“No! I'm thinking about watching the new 911 episode. Are you in?”

“Isn't it a firefighting show?”

“Yeah! I got hooked on about like a month ago” Carlos said and turned on the Tv.

Watching series or movies with Carlos? They are sooo back!! 

Charles missed hanging out with Carlos like this. Knowing their routine, what their current interest is and everything. 

The show was indeed interesting. Charles started to like the character Buck.

“Do you think Buck is in love with Eddie?” Charles asked.

“Why are you asking?”

“I don't know. The looks– it seems to me like that” Charles shrugged.

“Maybe. But you give me the same looks too. Are you in love with me???” Carlos raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“I hate you” Charles pushed Carlos away. When Carlos tried to push him back, Charles noticed that his pain vanished like a ghost. It's like it was never there. Huh!

They were laughing. An idea sparked Charles' head.

“Hey! You promised me a karaoke”

“You wanna go back to the party?” Carlos asked.

“No! I mean– how about we get a mechanic here??” 

“How?” Carlos asked dumbly.

“I've an inner source” Charles winked and took his phone.

“What are you doing?” Carlos asked.

Fifteen minutes later, there was a man with a karaoke machine. 

“Thank you, Santer,” Charles thanked him. 

“Oh you know Santer?” Carlos asked.

“Have a good day, Mr. Sainz” Santer left them alone.

“You know Santer?” Charles asked.

“Yeah! He was the one saved your ass last night”

“What do you mean?” Charles asked.

Does Carlos know that Charles slept in the pool?

“Its- I'm sorry, I overstepped the line” Carlos said.

“No! Tell me” Charles pushed him.

Carlos thought about a moment but said with a apologetic face, “I was there that night” 

Charles felt embarrassed. He thought he was alone. That was a vulnerable moment.

“I–I-” Charles tried but Carlos got him,

“I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I left as soon as I know you not in the mood for a chat”

Charles felt naked. He felt seen in a wrong way.

“I swear, I made sure to let nobody in. I left Santer in charge” Carlos promised. 

“He was out the whole night, I even checked in between and you were asleep already. I'm sorry–” 

“You brought me the sheets?” Charles asked out of nowhere. 

“What?”

“The bedsheets? You brought them for me?” Charles asked again with eyes staring at Carlos for an answer.

Carlos took a breath and answered,

“Yes, I did. You were out in the cold. I don't want you to get cold or something” 

Charles' eyes shifted to something domestic. The night Carlos felt a desire to protect Charles from everyone. Now from including his own embarrassment, Carlos is trying to ease the situation into something less tense. 

Charles shook his head, Carlos, that man, without thinking took Charles to his room, gave medicines and offered to sing so that they both can enjoy, also laying sheets so that Charles won't get cold. 

“If you are mad–”

“Thank you, Carlos” Charles hugged him.

Carlos jolted back. He didn't expect this. All he expected was a full blown tantrum from Charles about how Carlos should have fucking kept his mouth shut.

The hug was soft, like an exhale that Charles had been holding onto. They didn’t need to say a thing but they both know what it means. 

“You are not alone, Charles. I'm always here for you” Carlos said in between.

Charles's heart skipped a beat. Carlos was not supposed to say these things. He left, the wound is still fresh for Charles to even think about it. Even though it's not Carlos' fault that the team didn't pick him, he is the one to cut everything between them after the Skiing trip. 

Charles stopped back.

“I think I should get back to my room,” Charles said.

Carlos' face dropped but he acted like it didn't tore him.

“I thought we were going to have a karaoke time,” Carlos said.

Charles chuckled.

“Get back to the party and have fun with Lando” Charles said and left Carlos.

It's idiotic to say something like that and leave. Charles knows he's acting childish but is he? Carlos acts like a lover boy and wraps his arms around him calling mate and gives starry eyes to Lando and has the audacity to tell , I'm always here for you. Like Charles, some broken piece that needs to get fixed. A single tear fell from his eyes. 

It's for the best, Charles said to himself because facing Carlos is something he's not ready to accept himself. 

Chapter Text

“I will be right here,” Carlos said as he held his horse.

“What if you ditched me?”

Carlos tried to look into the dream. He could sense it was a dream but not enough to wake from it or understand who was talking to him. It was the voice of a man, but he heard it like the other person was talking from a well.

Carlos could only hear the voices in the distance. Everything was black and white to him. The opposite person's face was a blur. He squinted his eyes and rolled his head to either side, sweat dripping from his forehead.

“How about we race each other?”

This time, it was a female voice.

“Carlos!!” Someone shook him awake.

“What?!” Carlos sat up straight. He looked at Alex with panic.

“Are you alright?” Alex asked with concern.

“I–I–” Carlos noticed he was on a plane. They were traveling together to Bahrain.

“Yeah–I–” Carlos rubbed his forehead.

“Bad dream?” Alex asked.

“Something like that.” Carlos couldn’t tell if it was bad or good.

“Try to get back to sleep. Maybe this time you won't end up back there,” Alex said.

Carlos chuckled.

“It’s fine. I’m good,” he said and gave an appreciative smile.

It took Carlos back to the night he had a nightmare. He didn’t remember the dream exactly, but it was something related to Charles getting in an accident.

“Mate, I’m right here with you,” Charles said.

“I know, it– it felt so real,” Carlos groaned.

Charles placed his hands on Carlos’s.

A spark ran through Carlos’s veins. A sudden jolt that raced from his fingers to his chest, as if his body remembered something his mind hadn’t caught up to yet.

“I’m right here with you,” Charles said again.

Carlos smiled.

Carlos couldn’t face Charles. They had walked the red carpet at last week's race. Now they walked past each other like strangers. It sucked.

Carlos sighed.

“Hey! What happened?” Zara asked.

“Nothing,” Carlos said, trying to act normal.

People started to take photos as soon as they arrived at the paddock.

Carlos should’ve known better than to arrive with her, but he had promised to show her around. She was a friend of Lando’s but still had no clue about F1.

This was Carlos’s exchange—her pretending to be his girlfriend for dinner.

“Shit! People are gonna think we’re dating,” Zara mumbled as people crowded around Carlos.

“Don’t sweat it,” Carlos said, though his mind was focused on one thing:

What does would Charles think?

Why is he giving so much thought to what Charles thinks? Urgh! It’s exhausting. Once, they just look at each other’s eyes and knew they were okay. Now, they had to wait for stolen moments. Carlos missed having Charles as a teammate.

He couldn’t even catch a glimpse of him. Carlos’s car was on pace. It was what Carlos expected, but even still, he couldn’t wrap his mind around it. He was constantly thinking about Charles.

The way Charles hugged him felt familiar. Yes, they had hugged many times, but that one felt like déjà vu—not from this situation, not from this life.

On Saturday night, he saw headlines about him and Zara. Carlos groaned. Why did it have to be so complicated?

But maybe it didn’t have to be. Maybe if he stopped letting it into his brain, it’d be easier. So what if Charles thought Zara was his girlfriend? Who cares? Charles wasn’t his boyfriend. Why should he care what that green-eyed man thinks?

With the thought of not giving a fuck, Carlos got deep sleep.

The next day, Carlos finished the race with points! Damn straight! That’s what he needed. They went to a party with Lando and some of his race engineers.

Carlos was having fun, until he spotted Charles in the crowd. Why does the universe hate him having fun?

He ignored him. The music was erotic to his ears. When he took out his phone to check the time, he noticed a missed call from his mother.

Carlos went to the restroom to call her back.

“Hai, Ma.”

She congratulated him on the points. The conversation was sweet—until she asked about Zara.

“She’s not my soulmate,” Carlos rolled his eyes.

“Then why are you dating her?”

“Do you hear how you sound?” Carlos asked. He couldn’t say she wasn’t his girlfriend because Anna probably told their mother everything.

The conversation started to drain him. How many times had he told his mom he didn’t have a soulmate? The night in loft with Charles made Carlos to be sure of one thing, Carlos has no soulmate. 

“Fine! I’ll do it,” Carlos rolled his eyes.

“Oh-hoo! Don’t be smug. It’s only because I get to go cycling,” Carlos said.

Before he could hear what his mom replied, Charles entered the restroom.

Their eyes locked. Just like that, Carlos knew Charles wanted to talk.

“I’ll call you afterward,” Carlos said.

“Yeah, yeah. I love you too, Ma,” he said before ending the call.

Charles’s hands sank into his pockets like he was holding something back.

“Oops. Wrong time?” Charles said nervously.

“Hi,” Carlos shook his head like it was okay to talk.

“I– I wanted to congratulate you on the points.”

Carlos nodded. “Thanks.”

They stood in awkward silence.

“Uhm—”

“I–”

“How are—”

“Bye–”

“What were you saying?” Carlos asked.

“Uhm—so cycling sounds fun,” Charles said.

“What are you trying to do, Charles?” Carlos asked, clearly annoyed.

“Listen, it’s my fault that I left abruptly.”

“Finally,” Carlos said.

“Cut the sarcasm. It’s your fault too.”

“Classic Charles! What’s my fault? Enlighten me, please,” Carlos said, pretending to beg.

Carlos never failed to get on Charles’s nerves. Charles bit his tongue and said,

“Yeah, it’s not your fault you switched teams, but it’s your fault we don’t spend much time together.”

“What are we? Husbands?” Carlos smirked.

“This is why I hate talking to you,” Charles said, turning away.

“Alright! Alright,” Carlos grabbed Charles’s hand. The same spark, everytime he holds Charles, Carlos feels like he's playing with fire.

Charles turned to him with annoyance.

“What do you feel about cycling?”

“I hate it,” Charles said.

“Then it’s settled—We’re going cycling,” Carlos patted his shoulder.

“I hate you,” Charles groaned.

“No! You love me like Buck loves Eddie in 9-1-1. No wonder he’s your favorite character.”

Charles rolled his eyes as they walked out of the restroom.

“Are you not going to introduce me to your girlfriend?” Charles asked.

Carlos thought about telling the truth but decided against it. Charles had already teased him about the soulmate thing. Telling him, he was cycling to the mountains, in search for his soulmate was too high-risk.

“Maybe some other time.”

___________

"In the name of my last breath, I'm asking you—was my love a delusion?"

Carlos sat up abruptly. What was that? Was that Charles’s accent?

It had been four months since he'd had these vivid dreams. Now he was hearing Charles' voice?

Are these dreams or nightmares? Or is some greater force trying to communicate with me?

Or maybe it’s just a stupid delusion.

Maybe it’s because he talked to Charles last night about cycling. If he’d ended the day talking to Zara, maybe he’d be hearing her voice instead. It’s as simple as that.

Carlos checked the time and groaned. His alarm was about to go off. A couple of days ago, Charles had agreed to go cycling with him. Carlos hadn’t been sure if he would still be interested, but last night Charles had called to confirm their plans.

Carlos shut off his alarm and got ready. After a shower, he styled his hair back and packed everything he needed for the ride.

He met Charles on the roadside. It was early morning; no one else was around to notice them.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Carlos asked.

“I do! Come on,” Charles said.

They pedaled off together. Along the way, Charles stopped more often than necessary.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Carlos,” Charles said, rolling his eyes.

“Do you need a break?” Carlos asked again.

“I’m fine. I think it’s my bike—it’s not—” Charles stopped to catch his breath.

Carlos chuckled.

“We can take a break here.”

He got off his bike.

“You want a break? Sure!” Charles replied, pretending like he wasn’t about to pass out.

Carlos tried to hold in a laugh. “Yes, I’m tired and you are not. How are you doing it?”

Charles gave him a playful shove.

“Shut up,” he whispered, slightly embarrassed.

Carlos swore it was normal to get goosebumps when Charles Leclerc blushes.

They parked their bikes by the side and walked over to collapse near a large stone.

“It’s dirty,” Charles muttered.

“Want me to lay a carpet for you, My Lord?” Carlos teased.

A wave of nostalgia hit him. It came out of nowhere—a strange ache in his chest. A gentle pull back to a time that felt impossibly far away.

“Carlos?” Charles nudged him.

“What?” Carlos snapped back to reality.

“I’m hungry,” Charles pouted.

“Wanna head back?” Carlos asked.

“No. I’m hungry right now,” Charles groaned.

“There’s nothing to eat here except grass, Charles.”

Charles sighed.

“All I have is water, and we’ve only cycled for like 25 minutes,” Carlos added.

Charles pouted again.

Instant defeat for Carlos.

“I have biscuits.”

“Yummy.”

They both walked back to where they left their bikes—only to find them gone.

“Uhm—are you sure we parked here?” Charles asked.

“I’m sure. I had my eyes on them the whole time.”

“Then where are they?” Carlos turned to Charles.

“I—I don’t know,” Charles said, genuinely confused.

“Mate! We don’t get signal for half a mile from here!” Carlos shouted.

“Not my fault that we stopped,” Charles shrugged.

“Arghhh.” Carlos turned away, frustrated.

“Please tell me you brought your phone,” Carlos asked.

“Who goes out without their phone?” Charles chuckled.

“Good, because mine's battery is low.”

“What are we gonna do?”

“Let’s walk this way, maybe we’ll find someone.”

“It’s early morning, Carlos. We won’t find anyone,” Charles said.

“Wow, how optimistic,” Carlos muttered.

They walked in silence for a while before drifting into random conversation. They talked about nature, their favorite seasons, and how they got their first kiss.

“Why would you do that?” Charles laughed as he heard Carlos's first kiss story.

Carlos shrugged casually.

“Your sister must hate you for that.”

“That was the plan,” Carlos grinned.

“Then what happened?” Charles asked with genuine interest. The rising sun’s golden rays highlighted the perfection of Carlos’s hair.

Charles admired the man standing there, somehow shining brighter than the sun.

“Well, the kiss was mostly to get my sister off my back, so it worked. They both stopped talking to each other.”

“I still can’t believe you kissed your sister’s best friend just to prove something, even at that age,” Charles laughed.

From then to now, Carlos still do stupid things to prove something to his family. That’s how he got into the whole Zara mess. Now he was looking for soulmates in the mountains, ending up on morning walks with his ex-teammate like a married couple.

All just to prove he’s a real Sainz—by finding his soulmate.

But even thinking about it stirred nature like a warning, because it started to rain. 

“Seriously?!” Charles shouted.

“What happened?”

“Ugh, I already have a sore throat. I don’t want to get wet,” Charles said.

“You won’t get cold just like that—” But before Carlos could finish, he saw Charles shivering.

What was happening? He had seen Charles race in the rain, he never acted like this.

Carlos felt an urgent, bone-deep need to protect him. His instincts screamed:

Do your job! Protect him!

Without wasting a second, he wrapped his arms around Charles.

“Come on.”

His legs moved without knowing where they were taking them.

Charles was confused, but he didn’t resist the warmth of Carlos’s body. It scared him how much he preferred it.

“Where are we going?”

A blinding white light flashed across their faces, followed by thunder.

“Did you check the weather today?” Charles asked.

“I did. There was no sign of this,” Carlos said.

“What the fuck is happening in Monaco then?”

As the rain pelted them, Carlos could only focus on the aching in his muscles.

Do your job!

Carlos stood abruptly.

“What?” Charles asked.

“We’re here,” Carlos said.

Before them stood an abandoned house.

“Wow. There are houses in places like this?”

“Let’s get in.”

Carlos guided Charles inside.

They shut the door behind them. Dust filled the air, thick and suffocating.

“I think the rain was better than this,” Charles coughed as he inhaled the dusts. 

“Get used to it,” Carlos said, searching for towels.

“Wait—Carlos!!” Charles followed him but stopped when he saw the dust-covered windows tangled with cobwebs.

There was something familiar about the designs on the windows. His muscles tensed.

But before he could dwell on it, Carlos returned with a towel.

“This was the only one I could find without dust.”

It was a small, tan towel.

“You’re wet too,” Charles pointed out.

“It’s fine,” Carlos said, shrugging. He grabbed the white sheets that had been draped over furniture and started uncovering them.

“When was this house built?” Charles wondered aloud.

Carlos didn’t answer. He kept working, the wet fabric of his white racing suit clinging to his body—left Charles breathless.

Charles have seen Carlos shirtless before, seen every episode of Don’t Blink, but there was something feral about this. The fabric sticking to Carlos’s skin... the way his muscles flexed—

Charles just stood there, watching him like a hawk.

Water dripped from Carlos’s hair. He looked like a god sent down to kill Charles with his beauty.

“Uhm—” Charles gulped, his eyes refusing to dip lower.

“All set for you, My Lord,” Carlos said.

Charles blinked, taken aback.

“I—I—” Carlos stammered.

Charles cut him off with a grin.

“Heh! Thank you, Carlos.”

Charles sat down on the wooden chair.

It had enough space for Carlos too. 

“Come on, Carlos,” Charles called to him.

But Carlos stood near the window, as if guarding the place.

Charles waited for him to act normal. What happened to him? That’s all Charles could think about. He couldn’t even focus on how they were going to get out of this storm.

Minutes passed, and still, Charles couldn’t bring himself to ask what Carlos was doing.

It felt like Carlos had done this a thousand times before. Like it was second nature, finding shelter and protecting Charles.

As the clock ticked on, Charles started to worry. What is actually going on?

It's starting to freak him out, so he stood up slowly and walked over to Carlos, who still hadn’t taken his eyes off the window.

“Carlos,” Charles whispered, placing a hand gently on his arm.

Carlos finally turned to him.

“Are you—uhm—”

As Charles touched him, the weight of the present came crashing back into Carlos’s mind.

Charles had pulled him out of whatever he was under.

“Charl—” Carlos shook his head, confused.

What just happened to me?

“Come on, let’s sit down,” Charles said softly.

They walked back to the chair together.

Even as they sat, their eyes remained locked on the window.

“Is it just me, or is that window kind of creepy? Like we’ve seen it in some movie or something?”

“I don’t know,” Carlos shrugged.

They sat close enough to feel each other’s warmth.

“Have you ever been trapped like this before?” Charles asked.

“No. Definitely not. I always check the weather app—it doesn’t lie, you know. But today, It's strange.”

“Yeah,” Charles agreed.

He looked over at Carlos, who was still tense, and decided to lighten the mood.

“Maybe the universe just wants us to spend some time together.”

Carlos turned to him with a look.

Charles tried to hide his smug smile.

Carlos rolled his eyes and laughed.

As time passed, Charles started to sing. They turned it into a competition.

“Ayay! Give me points. I did good!” Carlos argued.

“You sang like shit.”

“Minus five points for foul language,” Carlos announced to their unseen audience.

“I’m an artist. I’m the winner.”

“You’re so full of yourself,” Carlos pushed Charles.

“You remember the time I beat you in the music competition?” Carlos asked.

“Oh, how could I forget that embarrassment?” Charles groaned.

“You were so full of yourself, that’s why you lost.” Carlos shrugged with pride.

“I had everything in me. I just couldn’t deliver it,” Charles said.

“Booooo,” Carlos laughed. They both laughed out loud, their voices echoing through the house.

“I miss this.”

“That I beat your ass in these games?” Carlos asked.

“Yes, Carlos. The way you think you're winning, but I always end up on top.” Charles smirked.

“Top?” Carlos laughed.

“Always making it as a joke”

Charles shook his head.

“Never denying it,” Carlos said. 

They both laughed again.

“Do you wanna take a picture?” Carlos asked.

“Why not?” Charles scooted closer so he'd be visible in the frame. Charles's arms brushed on Carlos's hairy arms. 

Carlos opened the camera app and took a selfie.

“It’s a good one,” Charles said.

“If it has me, then it’s always a good one,” Carlos replied.

“God! We’re both such narcissistic bitches,” Charles chuckled.

“I’m taking it as a compliment,” Carlos said.

The sky started to clear. They tried to peel their eyes off from the window, it's making his blood pump. All Carlos could think was, what if I push Charles into the window and—

*Tud*

The sound echoed as Charles's body hit the window.

“You won't stop until you get it don't you?” Carlos whispered hot against Charles's ears.

“Never” Charles wrapped his arms around Carlos’s neck. Carlos bit Charles's ear and started to pamper him with kisses. 

They both were wet but they weren't in their cycling attire. They both are wearing old age clothes. Carlos's cloth was tailored to fit him perfectly, his muscles were prominent under the wet cloth. On the other hand Charles wore a big fur coat which was removed and abandoned on the floor along with their swords.

Carlos trailed his kisses to Charles's jaw, when he leaned in to capture the lips which was calling him so long, Charles moaned as Carlos slipped his fingers under Charles's shirt. 

There was a weird symbol on the cloth. 

“Carlos–I–” Charles panted.

Carlos didn't lift his mouth from kissing Charles's neck. Charles started to sweat even though they both were dripping wet, all Charles felt was hot and fiery.

Carlos groaned as he pushed Charles against the window letting him know that he's still listening. 

“Kiss me” Charles ordered. 

Carlos lifted his head to lock eyes with the man panting before him. 

“As you wish, My Lord” Carlos said with thick accent and leaned in—-

“CARLOS” Charles shook him.

“What?” Carlos turned to him.

“Are you alright?” Charles asked with worry.

“Uh– I– we–” Carlos was confused 

“What happened?” He asked Charles.

“You were daydreaming? I don't know. You were staring that window for so long, then you started to get goosebumps and–I wake you up”

Carlos groaned. He hoped that he's not hard right now because what the hell was that. Carlos was not daydreaming if he did he would have known. It's like some memories clouded before his eyes. 

Dreams don't feel real. Memories do. 

Did he just dream about fingering Charles against the window? 

“Nothing. Sorry about that” Carlos stood up.

Charles gave him worried eyes.

He looked outside, and they could see the sun rays through dark clouds.

“Let's get back,” Carlos said. 

“Let’s wait a few more minutes. What if the rain comes back?” Charles asked.

“Yeah, yeah! Sure,” Carlos agreed. 

Carlos couldn't get down from the high he went. He prayed that he's not hard and Charles didn't notice it. 

Carlos was pacing the room, Charles took pity on him. So he asked,

“Is this the right time to tell me about your girlfriend?” 

Trying to build a normal conversation. 

Carlos groaned. He hates lying, but lying was easier than admitting the truth.

So he said, “She’s Lando’s friend. He introduced us. It’s still new.”

Charles went quiet. He just nodded.

They heard the slowly falling raindrops. 

“I broke up with Alex,” Charles said out of nowhere.

“WHAT?!” Carlos shouted, then quickly added, “Sorry, what happened?” He sat near Charles. 

“I–I don’t know. She said I’m not the same person she fell in love with.”

Carlos didn’t say anything.

“I mean, I can’t even blame her. I know I’m not the same person. Something in me shifted this year. I’m constantly second-guessing everything. And that’s not me,” Charles rambled.

“Since you left, I doubt everything. Will everyone leave us one day?”

Charles turned to Carlos with uncertainty in his eyes.

Carlos didn’t know what to say.

In truth, he agreed. With all the visions and the new team, he was trying to run alongside everyone. Sometimes he felt lost with his family, with everything.

Even now, he was literally lost in the middle of nowhere.

But at times like this, having Charles right beside him warmed his heart.

“We’re not who we used to be,” Carlos said.

Charles nodded.

“If you want to post the picture, I’m okay with it,” Charles said, trying to ease the situation. 

Carlos shook his head.

“I want this place to be our little rendezvous.”

Carlos winked.

Charles blushed.

“You mean this dirty and dusty place?”

“Yeah! Something about this makes it special,” Carlos said, patting Charles’s thigh.

The simple gesture made Charles flinch in pain.

It was just like that night in the pub. The pain traveled through his body again.

“Argh,” Charles winced.

“What?” Carlos asked.

But just as quickly, it passed like it hadn’t happened at all.

“Nothing” 

“Wanna have breakfast after this?”

Carlos asked, noticing the rain had completely stopped.

“If you cook pancakes, Yes,” Charles replied.

“Lead the way,” Carlos said.

The thought of Carlos cooking in his kitchen stirred something in Charles.

The image of Carlos in an apron, flipping pancakes, while Charles waited at the counter, it was a sight for sore eyes.

__________

“So you guys walked until you got a signal and called me?” Lando asked, as they both sat in the back seat.

“Yes,” Carlos replied.

“There’s a house out here?” Lando asked in shock.

“Just drive, please,” Carlos said, and Charles tried to hold back a laugh.

It was hot when Carlos took the upper hand to protect their thing.

Some might call it rude, especially since they had called Lando for help.

Like Lando did right now:

“Rude,” Lando muttered as he drove.

“Where to?”

“Charles’s home,” Carlos answered.

Lando dropped them off at Charles’s place.

Charles felt bad, so he invited Lando in for breakfast.

“Are you sure?” Carlos asked.

Carlos checking in like that while Lando was still there, was a big step for Charles. So, he nodded.

Lando accepted the pancakes, and the three of them ended up having fun together.

After Lando left, Carlos spent some time with Charles. He helped Charles with the kitchen work. He lingered near the door,

“So–” Charles smiled.

“So” Carlos echoed his actions.

They both wanted to talk about why Carlos acted that way. He wanted to talk about the stolen glances, the missed opportunity to do something so reckless. The way Charles’s body seeked Carlos in tough times like Carlos is the person he should run too. 

Charles wanted to ask, 

Are you about to kiss me?

And Carlos wanted to scream at Charles,

If you didn't stop looking at me like that, I would have no choice. 

Chapter Text

Something had changed between them. It felt like they had broken an unseen barrier, a vulnerable one, which they didn't knew existed before.

They had all kinds of fun, but sometimes Charles would catch Carlos staring at him, like he was about to say something—only he never did.

Charles didn’t mind. He was having the time of his life with Carlos.

“Hola,” Charles greeted, opening the door for him every weekend night. They watched 9-1-1 episodes and cooked dinner together. It might sound domestic, but it wasn’t—not if you saw the way they cooked.

“You burned them!” Charles screamed.

“I’m pretty sure this is what it’s supposed to look like,” Carlos shrugged.

“Have you ever eaten grilled chicken?” Charles folded his arms.

“I have! I bet it tastes good,” Carlos said, taking a piece and chewing it.

Charles waited patiently for Carlos's reaction.

Carlos stopped chewing. He could see Charles was waiting to say, “I told you so.” He wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction.

“It’s good,” Carlos said, trying to swallow the tough piece of chicken.

“Oh, is it? Maybe I’ll try it,” Charles said, reaching for another piece.

“No! Don’t,” Carlos grabbed Charles’s hand.

“What?” Charles asked, teasing.

“Alright! It’s shit.”

He didn’t want Charles to eat it and get an upset stomach.

Carlos threw the food into the dustbin.

Charles laughed, not knowing he was the weakness of the man in front of him.

Leo had started to sleep on top of Carlos. Charles should have known then, that things were getting serious, but he pushed it aside. He let it happen. He wanted it to happen.

One day, Carlos brought him chocolates.

“Thought you needed it,” Carlos said as Charles opened his suite’s door.

Charles sighed and motioned for Carlos to come in.

“Aren’t you packing?” Carlos asked.

“I was about to. I took a nap.”

Carlos nodded. He knew Charles well enough to know he’d be sulking and blaming himself.

“You know it’s a racing incident, right?” Carlos began.

“I know, Carlos! God! Everyone should stop saying that,” Charles snapped.

“Alright,” Carlos said, raising his hands in surrender.

Charles opened the box of chocolates.

“You picked my favourite?” he asked in disbelief.

Carlos shrugged.

“Thank you,” Charles said, eating three at once.

“Uhm—” Carlos hesitated but didn’t complain.

“So, are you ready for golf this week?” Carlos asked.

Yes, Carlos was coaching golf to his ex-teammate.

“I'm not in the mood. Can we cancel it?” Charles asked.

“Nah, nah. This is why I’m your coach. Get your ass ready for tomorrow,” Carlos said.

“For what? To get beat up again?” Charles replied.

Charles got all defeated, acting like a small kitten waiting to be patted and told, You’re doing good.

Carlos shook his head with fondness.

“Charl,” Carlos said, walking to him.

Charles looked up with a flushed face.

“I get it. It breaks you that you got a pole and then DNF’d. You did what you could do out there,” Carlos said gently.

They shared a tender glance.

“Alright.”

Carlos grabbed Charles’s neck with one hand.

“Now get ready and meet me tomorrow at the club.”

Carlos was in coach mode.

“You want me to scream ‘Yes, coach’?” Charles teased.

“Fuck off, cabrón,” Carlos laughed.

—------

“That was the best you could do?” Charles asked.

Carlos looked at him in disbelief. They were playing a virtual golf game. Carlos wasn’t familiar with it.

"I was taking pity on you,” Carlos said.

“Who asked you to, babe?” Charles said, teasingly. 

Carlos rolled his eyes.

“Fine! Let’s get over it,” he said.

They both struck the virtual golf ball. It flew high.

Carlos won.

“YAAAYYY!!” Carlos laughed out loud, doing his victory dance.

“Alright, alright! It was one-time luck,” Charles chuckled with defeat. 

“Is it??” Carlos kept dancing in front of Charles just to annoy him. 

Charles’s eyes softened, watching Carlos carefree made him go all silent. 

Leo attacked Carlos as they both fell into the carpet laughing, 

“Argh! You got bored without your mother?” Carlos asked Leo. Charles felt embarrassed remembering how close Alex and Leo used to be.

A hole opened on Charles's chest. Missing her.

“Don't worry” Carlos laughed as Leo licked his face. “Papa, got you” Carlos petted Leo.

In an instant, the hole was closed. Charles's heart fluttered with the sight he's seeing. Carlos and Leo playing Dad and son. 

They heard the doorbell.

“Are you expecting someone?” Carlos asked.

“No,” Charles replied, heading to the door.

There was Alex.

“Albano?” Charles was surprised.

“Hai, Charles” 

“What are you doing here?” Charles asked.

“Seriously? Are you not gonna let me in?” Alex asked.

“Sorry! Get in. I was surprised to see you here”

“Thanks,” Alex said as he stepped inside.

“Alex! What are you doing here?” Carlos asked.

“Wow! I thought you guys were going to golf” Alex said.

“We were supposed to, but this guy right here wanted to have a day in” Carlos complained as he took the beer can. 

“Not guilty” Charles raised his beer can.

“Oh cool! Okay guys, listen. I was here to invite you guys to the paddle match which George was conducting.”

“Wow! That's nice” Charles said.

“But you could have just texted us that,” Carlos said.

“Yeah!! About that—” 

Alex scratched the back of his neck and said, 

“I was supposed to make an invitation” 

“Invitation?” 

“Yes. Something goofy and professional”

Alex answered.

Carlos blinked twice and asked,

“Help me get this point, how do someone make an invitation goofy and professional?” 

“That’s why I am here” Lando entered the room.

“Did I leave the door open?” Charles asked with disbelief.

“You did. But don't worry. I closed it on my way in” Lando said.

“Landoooooo”

“Carlossssss” 

Charles rolled his eyes. Here we go again.

“I hope you don't mind that I invited him,” Alex asked.

Charles wants to shove the door on their faces. Today was supposed to be between Charles and Carlos alone. 

“It's fine,” Charles smiled.

He turned to see Lando and Carlos already lost in their own world. 

“Keep me busy, Please” Charles asked Alex, not wanting to see whatsoever business Carlos and Lando is doing.

Alex chuckled and asked,

“Can we start?” 

Charles thought the day was gonna ruin but someways it didn't. It was fun with Lando and Alex’s banters. 

They were half way to their invitation,

“Mate, I should really talk with Lilly about you and George,” Lando shook his head when Alex suggested that George and he came up with this idea at 3 in the morning. 

“Oh my God! Look at who is speaking” Alex clapped his head.

“What's with me?” Lando asked.

“Charles, do you wanna share something?” Alex asked, remembering Charles rolled his eyes when he spotted Lando and Carlos lost in their own world. 

“Nope! I like my view from here” Charles pulled his popcorn and smirked. He doesn't want to get into the whole Carlando situationship. 

“Leave the kid, out of it” Carlos said, defending Lando. 

“Fuck you, I'm not a kid” Lando said.

“Are you sure? I heard Kimi had to take you to the bed at Oscar’s birthday party” Carlos teased.

“I'm gonna bury that kid alive” Lando cussed.

“I'm gonna take a video and send it to Toto” Charles laughed as Lando threatened Kimi.

Everyone laughed. Lando noticed the abandoned controller on the table.

“Who hit the last shot? Damn!” Lando exclaimed as he checked the scores. 

“Uhm-Carlos,” Charles said.

“Me! Me! Me!” Carlos jumped like a puppy.

“That's awesome mate, Look at Charles' record” Lando gave his iconic mumbled laugh.

“What’s wrong with that?” Charles asked defensively.

“I have a better score than you mate,” Lando said.

“You play these for a long time” Carlos supported Charles.

“I thought you were coaching him? The golf king, Carlos Sainz” 

Carlos rolled his eyes.

“He's actually teaching me how to ride horses”

Charles said. He didn't know why he said it but once he said it he couldn't take it back.

“Horse?” Lando asked with surprise.

Carlos turned to Charles with surprise.

“Yeah– it's kinda– uhm– we both wanted to learn something new so we are doing it” Charles said. 

A nausea of old memories hit Carlos. He couldn't handle it, “Argh” Carlos clenched his forehead. 

“Is it? You didn't mention it to me” Lando said to Carlos.

“What if you ditched me?” 

He heard a lost voice.

“Uhm-” Carlos looked at Charles, hands still on forehead. He has no idea why Charles lied.

“I was waiting for the right moment,” Carlos said.

“Huh!” Lando didn't comment.

Carlos looked at Charles, who gave an apologetic face. 

Charles lied what came to his mind. He has no idea why he particularly chose horse riding. He has no interest in learning or whatsoever but it felt like a muscle memory to share it. He wanted to say something which Lando is not a master of. 

He wanted Lando to know that Carlos is in part of something with Charles that Lando could never achieve. Not even imagine. 

They changed the topic. They shared some funny banters which then turned into a full blown argument.

“They BARK all the time” Alex screamed to prove his point. 

“They are loyal and follows you everywhere” 

Charles fought back, patting Leo. 

“And poops everywhere” Lando passes comment. 

He started the Dog vs Cat fight now he's enjoying it. 

“You don't even have a pet,” Charles said with annoyance.

“Yes, that's why I called someone to make this topic more interesting” Lando placed his phone on the table. 

“Seriously?” Carlos asked.

“As a cat dad, All I'm saying is—”

“Don't even say it” Charles put Max on hold,

“Carlos is a dog’s dad, why can't you say anything?” Charles asked.

“It was a senseless argument. Dogs are the best! Duh” Carlos said. 

“Duh” Lando mimicked Carlos. He pushed him and they both laughed.

“Cats will play with you–”

Leo barked,

“Omg! You are upsetting Leo”

Charles kissed Leo's nose. 

“He acts like a cat, All clingy” Alex stated.

Gasp erupted from Charles. Carlos shook his head with disapproval.

“Take it back, Mister” Charles hissed.

Alex rolled his eyes.

The argument settled down and they finished the invitation.

 “All finished,” Charles said.

“Thank God, we have a brainy one here,” Lando said.

“Thanks” 

Alex, Charles and Carlos said in unison.

They all looked at each other with an unbelievable look.

"Come on guys! Accept it and let's all get over with this work” Lando patted Carlos's shoulder.

Charles and Alex shrugged their shoulders in defeat.

Carlos gave him a big smile.

_______

        -Today was fun! 

From Chili🌶️

Charles liked the message and didn't reply. Yes, today was unexpectedly fun. But Charles thought today would be more about Carlos and himself alone. When did he start to feel like he’s the owner of Carlos's time and life? 

When they were teammates, Carlos always made Charles his everything. 

Now being alone makes him wonder at many things. Since he got the great Lewis Hamilton as his team mate, he's rethink something Carlos and himself did as teammates. 

Are those things teammates allowed to do or are some things too domestic? If those are domestic, why did they do those things without second guessing? 

Carlos and Charles became each other's emotional support.

Later the night, Charles replied,

-Next time maybe you should take me to horse riding. 

_________

“Are we about to do it?” Carlos stared at Charles in disbelief.

“Yeah! It’ll be fun.” Charles removed his sunglasses.

They looked at the plain sight before them. The sun was shining brighter, nearly blinding their eyes.

“Maybe I’ll wait for you,” Carlos said.

“No! We’re getting on the horse. Thought you had practice with these things.”

“It was ages ago. Also, I didn’t really learn it properly.”

“Well, now you’re doing it with me.” Charles shrugged.

Their trainer walked down with two horses, one for each. A black one and a white one.

“It’s going to be epic,” Charles said out loud.

“He’s gonna kill me, isn’t he?” Carlos mumbled under his breath.

---

Carlos received an invitation, which he had made himself. He took it out of the cover and read:

F1 Paddle Tournament

Hello, my fellow competitor!

We welcome you all to the F1 Paddle Tournament 2025. I, George Russell, am single-handedly handling these—

Wait a minute, Carlos thought. They didn’t include George’s name on this.

—handling these matches. There will be both doubles and singles categories. Please register your name under either one. The schedule will be announced once we have all the participants. Brace yourselves for some paddle action!

Thank you!

Yours,

George Russell

Carlos would fly solo. He opened his phone to register his name on a website printed at the bottom of the card.

He scanned the QR code and logged in. Just then, he received a message from Lando.

          -He fucking changed so many things on the invitation. 🙄

Carlos chuckled. He knew the puns wouldn’t make it to the final draft. He opened WhatsApp to reply, but at the same time, two notifications popped up. One from Charles, another from Lando.

Both messages were the same.

Wanna team up for doubles?

—From Lord Percival🤴

Interested in doubles?

—From Lando💩

Carlos sighed. 

How the hell do I hustle both of them?

He could lie and say he wasn’t interested in doubles. Technically, he wasn’t. But that might sound like a total douche move.

He didn’t reply to either of them. Instead, he filled his name in for singles and threw the phone aside.

He couldn’t ditch Lando, he’d been hoping to play with Carlos for a while. But then there was Charles. How does one simply say no to Charles?

After giving it some thought, Carlos typed:

I invited Zara for the doubles. Sorry!

Both of them accepted the lie. Carlos called his fake girlfriend for rescue.

So you guys are like a proper couple now?

—From Lando💩

Carlos didn’t want to build more lies.

Nah. I promised her I’d take her out.

Wow! And they say romance is dead!!

—From Lando💩

Carlos rolled his eyes. Lando was clearly teasing him.

She’s not my girlfriend or a date, okay?

It’s just a proper friends hangout.

Lando replied with a simple:

Okay.

---

The tournament was indeed fun. Singles categories took place first. Doubles were scheduled two weeks later. As everyone predicted, Carlos and Fernando made it to the finals.

“This shit is really boring when the opponent actually knows how to play,” Max said.

“You gave your best, Mate,” Bearman consoled him.

Everyone sat on the sidelines, watching Carlos and Fernando warming up before the finals.

“God, I’ll hate his ass if he wins,” Charles commented, watching Carlos.

“Always keeping an eye on Carlos’s ass,” Gasly joked. Everyone laughed while Charles tried to defend himself.

“Do you guys wanna bet?” Kimi asked.

“For what?” Yuki replied.

“Bet on who wins.”

“Already lost today. Not interested in losing again, pass,” Lawson said.

Some of them chuckled.

Everyone looked at each other.

“Yeah, what the hell,” Oscar shrugged, and everyone agreed. They started choosing their winner.

Fifty grands was the winning amount. The losers would collectively pay the winner, and the winners could split the money however they liked.

Carlos scored his first game point.

“Damn. No wonder why I lost to him,” George muttered.

Everyone turned to him in disbelief.

“Seriously?” Alex asked.

“What?”

“Dude, you got washed out,” Lando said.

“Nearly! I scored one game point!” George argued.

“Carlos ate you alive on the court,” Max laughed.

George glared at him. A heated moment passed.

Charles didn’t pay attention, his focus was locked entirely on Carlos. The way his shoulders moved when he hit the ball, the power and grace combined, it was almost indecent to watch.

Sweat dripped down Carlos’s neck. His shorts clung to his thighs, shirt stretching across his chest. His body hair glistened in the sweat—girl dinner, lunch, breakfast, everything. Carlos let his hand glide through his thick hair. Strands fell perfectly into place. Still messy, still hot.

Charles forgot to breathe. Goosebumps erupted across his skin. He bit his lower lip and gripped the edge of his chair. He wanted to see if anyone else having same Carlos sainz effect, but his eyes were glued to Carlos.

Carlos’s jaw clenched as he let Fernando score another point. Charles parted his lips, desperate for air. His lungs and heart both tightening just from watching.

Carlos’s leg muscles stretched as he jumped to hit the ball. Charles didn’t dare look at his ass. A single lock of hair dropped onto Carlos’s forehead. He didn’t bother fixing it, but Charles’s hand itched to.

He licked his lips when Carlos sighed in frustration. Everyone stood, discussing the bet, but Charles didn’t take his eyes off him.

He watched as Carlos’s firm hand gripped Fernando’s in a handshake. What could those hands do to his neck—

Nope. Charles shut that thought down. He did not want to get a boner in public.

His stomach dropped as he walked over. Carlos looked even more real up close, with that tired smile tugging at his lips.

“Won some money betting on Fernando, I guess?” Carlos teased.

What if I pushed him against the wall and kissed him right now? Charles thought.

“Haha, funny,” Charles replied aloud.

If the thought get out–NO! 

“We’re all heading for a drink. Wanna join?”

“Sure, why not? Let’s manipulate Fernando and make him pay.” Carlos winked and headed to the dressing room.

Thank God Charles was Catholic, only divine strength could help him survive this.

He chuckled, trying to hide his flushed face.

__________

“You know why I always cook here?” Carlos asked Charles.

“Because you don't have to buy ingredients at your house?” Charles asked as he watched Carlos deep fry the potatoes.

“Funny” Carlos shook his head and added,

“Because I can do the cooking and you can do the dishes”

“Don't you have a dishwasher?”

“Sorry for trying to be obsessed over–” Carlos stopped mid sentence.

“Over what Carlos?” Charles asked softly.

Carlos turned to see Charles. The look is only reserved for Charles. Standing opposite to each other in a kitchen, music playing softly in the background. Charles wanted to ask, 

“What are we, Carlos?” But he didn't. Afraid if he asks, Carlos would walk away. Charles has always seen Carlos trying to live up to Sainz 'name, wanting to prove something to their family that he's one of them. 

If Carlos lets him, Charles would hold Carlos's face in his hand, smoothly brushing his skin, Charles would whisper, 

“You are more than enough for to me, to your family, to Ferrari” 

But before Charles could go deep into his fantasies, Carlos Said,

“Over Leo. I miss him”

Charles chuckled softly.

“Oh him! Alright” Charles nodded.

Both of them laughed. It's a little scary how he's willing to risk everything for Carlos. Times like these Carlos would look at Charles and give him a little smile and it will send a spark of hope to Charles that Maybe. Maybe he's not the only one wanting to risk it. 

Chapter Text

It was a double header so two weeks passed just like that. Carlos scored some point which is marvelous, he also did some overtakes so Carlos would consider it as a win win. 

The doubles category was near. Carlos remembered that Zara’s favourite hobby was Paddle.

“What makes you love paddle so much? ” Carlos tried to catch his breath. He crunched down, hands on knees as he looked up to Zara who didn't get tired, hoping to have another match.

“What can I say? I grew up with a sister who is obsessed with tennis so yeah we are into these kinda stuffs” She shrugged. She's sweating but she didn't let it bother her. She's hungry for more wins. 

“I'm glad that I took you in my team,” Carlos laughed.

“I wish they could see how I beat your ass” He winked as she wiped away her sweat.

“Darling, you are just one point ahead of me”

Carlos gave her soft eyes.

“Come on, now” She jumped a little, waiting for Carlos to hit the ball.

Carlos took a deep breath as he served the ball. Obviously he won. But that doesn't matter, he has fun with her. It's that was all about. 

________

Carlos and Zara walked to the court.

“You guys’ girlfriends are attending, right?” Zara asked, a little panicked.

“Why? I think so. I didn't check the name list,” Carlos replied.

“Shit! I hope I won’t be alone.”

Carlos chuckled and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I got you,” he promised.

Zara chuckled as everyone turned to see them arriving.

“Also, Lando will be there,” Carlos added.

“Yes, I can see that. He's coming right toward us.”

“Hola, Carlos,” Lando waved. “Hi, Zara.”

“Carlos gets the first hello? Alright,” she said, waving back. Carlos and Lando shared a fist bump as Carlos let go of Zara.

The three of them chatted for a bit and then went back to their spots.

Carlos and Zara were up against George and Alex.

“His girlfriend is better than him, but he chose Alex as his teammate,” Lando joked about George to Kimi.

“Yes! I've seen her play. Damn,” Kimi replied.

“Why didn’t he ask you?” Gasly asked from behind. Because Kimi is George’s teammate.

Before Kimi could answer, Lily and Carmen walked in, paddle kits in hand.

Someone played “Bad Blood” by Taylor Swift over the speaker.

Lilly tied her hair up high in a ponytail, while Carmen twisted hers into a bun. Both wore long-sleeved rash guards and shorts.

Cause baby, now we got bad blood

You know it used to be mad love

“Hot damn,” Zara commented.

Everyone stared at them.

Charles looked around to see who was playing the music and found Kika by the boombox. He chuckled and then noticed Alex and George gazing at their girlfriends with proud, loving expressions. Charles would die for that kind of love.

So take a look at what you’ve done

Cause baby, now we got bad blood

Lilly stylishly removed her sunglasses, and Alex walked over to her.

“You nailed it, baby,” Alex said with a dramatic bow.

Carlos noticed how sweet they were, without interrupting their girlfriends’ moment with overly romantic gestures.

______

Here come the team-ups:

Zara and Carlos

Yuki and Lawson

Gasly and Stroll

Russell and Alex

Lily and Carmen

Kimi and Ollie

Lando and Oscar

Max and Charles

Carlos’s eyebrows furrowed when he saw Max’s name next to Charles’s. He let it slide, and didn't want to stir anything unnecessarily.

From afar, Charles waved at Carlos, who didn’t miss how Carlos’s arms were around Zara when they walked in. Charles didn’t take his eyes off them. Carlos’s shorts were way too short. He watched as Carlos let go of Zara only to fist-bump Lando.

Would Carlos remove his hands if Charles walked up? Would he get that privilege?

Carlos didn’t text to ask who Charles would team up with. With the doubleheader weekends, he had spent all his time practicing with Zara.

Charles didn’t mind

or at least he told himself that. He wanted to win, and Max was a solid teammate. But still, Carlos could have checked on him. It felt like Zara had seized Carlos’s mind completely, and that smile she was sharing with him now? Charles had once thought it was his.

“Are you alright?” Max asked, standing beside him.

“Never been better,” Charles smiled.

“So, are you guys ready?” George asked as everyone chimed in with agreement.

The tournament kicked off with Kimi and Ollie facing Yuki and Lawson.

The game got intense quickly. As usual, betting started to make it more fun.

Charles watched Carlos bring water to Zara. When Carlos looked toward Charles, Charles quickly turned away. He wanted Carlos to approach him. Charles knew Carlos was seeing Zara, but didn’t realize they were this close.

After their encounter in the bathroom after the Bahrain Grand Prix, they hadn’t talked about Zara. It was like she didn’t exist. Carlos had never brought her up again.

Why did Carlos need to hide the fact he has a girlfriend? Charles wondered.

“Mate, we’re up next. Come on,” Max patted Charles’s shoulder.

They walked to the court to face—

“Please don’t let it be Lily and Carmen,” Charles muttered.

Max chuckled. “We got Stroll and Gasly.”

“That’s great,” Charles said, relieved.

“Are they that good? I mean, Carmen and Lily?”

“Yeah. I’ve played with them, uhm, not unbeatable, but I didn’t want to lose in the first match.” Charles’s eyes flicked toward Carlos, who was sitting close to Zara.

Max noticed. “Trying to impress someone?”

Charles looked Max straight in the eye.

As green met blue, Charles smirked.

“Just you, of course.” He winked and got into position.

Max had to shake his head to snap out of the Leclerc charm.

Charles served the ball, his eyes following its every movement. Stroll and Gasly were good. Charles loved a bit of a challenge. He jumped, ran, stretched to hit the ball. And finally, they won.

Max and Charles high-fived!

The rest of the tournament went by quickly, with Max yapping, watching, and betting. It was proper fun. As lunchtime neared, the top four moved into the playoffs.

Carlos and Zara were in first, followed by Charles and Max. Then came Lily and Carmen, with Stroll and Gasly just below them.

“In my opinion, Stroll is better than Gasly,” Charles heard Zara comment.

Charles ached to talk to Carlos. They hadn’t even said hello to each other. Was Charles acting like a self-centered bitch? He is. 

But what’s wrong with that? It’s his life. He’s the main character. He gets to act like this. It’s Carlos’ fault for forgetting him.

“You still not gonna talk to him?” Max asked, noticing how much Charles wanted Carlos to speak first.

“No! Why do you keep asking me that?” Charles replied. 

“Nothing. If Checo were here, I’d wish for him to acknowledge me,” Max shrugged.

Charles wanted to thank Max for understanding, but he didn’t build on the conversation. Right now, his goal was to win.

Everyone took a lunch break and some time to rest before returning to the court.

“Kika! How are you?” Charles asked.

“I’m good! How are you?” she replied.

“I’m doing fine,” Charles said with a charming smile.

They shared a quick chat while Carlos and Zara warmed up to play against Stroll and Gasly.

“I didn’t know Carlos had a girlfriend,” Kika said as they flicked through topics.

“Yeah, me too. Alex never mentioned anything,” Lilly added.

“You guys don’t remember her? She came with him to the paddock,” Carmen said.

“Hmm, I thought she was just his friend. That’s what Alex said,” Lilly replied.

“Maybe the feelings evolved,” Kika shrugged.

“Seems like those feelings have been there for a while,” Lilly commented.

Charles agreed but didn’t want to. If there was anything, Carlos would have shared it… right? But she wasn’t wrong. It seemed like they’d been more than friends longer than Charles had guessed.

“Why do you say so?” Kika asked, genuinely curious.

“Look at him. Look at how soft his eyes get when they meet hers.”

“Damn! You noticed that too? I couldn’t take my eyes off her once I noticed those green eyes,” Carmen said, placing a hand on Lilly’s shoulder.

The three of them gushed about green eyes while Charles waited for them to notice his green eyes.

“Hello!” Charles gestured to his face, frustrated.

Everyone furrowed their brows, ready to speak in defense.

“Yeah.”

“We already know.”

“Always stunning.”

“Best ones.”

“Green, yesss.”

Charles shook his head in disbelief. The match started, and he returned to his place next to Max.

The semi-finals drained him, but at least they won. If Charles had to face Carlos and Zara in the finals, so be it. He was ready to beat Carlos and his stupidly cute girlfriend.

Carlos walked up to Charles, the net is between them. He spoke.

“Good luck, mate.”

Mate, my ass, Charles wanted to say.

But instead, he just nodded and walked to Max.

Charles knew he was being unreasonable, but he didn’t know why. Yes, Carlos had ditched him, so what? He had other people in his life. 

Maybe Charles was just missing the way things used to feel. Maybe it had nothing to do with Carlos. Maybe it was all in his head. But everything fell under “Maybe.”

Charles stood in position, thinking:

I have to win this.

Will his colleagues bet on him?

Why are they playing this song?

What if I messed it up?

Why the fuck is she fixing Carlos’s wet hair?

Charles shook his head. He had to clear his mind. So he took a deep breath and turned to Max, who gave him a soft smile. Charles returned it.

“Shall we?” Max asked.

Charles nodded. The crowd cheered as Max served the ball.

The ball bounced between their rackets. A minute passed, and neither side failed to return it.

Charles could hear murmurs from the crowd, but his focus was entirely on the ball. He poured all his energy into hitting it. Charles and Max scored their first point when Zara failed to return the ball.

“COME ON!” Charles shouted as Max rushed to him with a smile.

“Good one, Charlie,” Max said, lightly tapping Charles's ass with his paddle.

Charles nodded, watching Zara crouch down to pick up the ball. He could feel Carlos's eyes on him, not on her. Yes, that's what Charles wanted.

They served again, and the match resumed, ending with Charles and Max winning the first set. They wiped them out.

“FUCK YES!”

Charles had never been this aggressive, but can you blame him?

The myth, the legend, the paddle king Carlos Sainz was losing. Wow. Charles would never forget this moment.

He knew better than to celebrate too early. They still needed to win another set to claim victory.

But he could count on Zara—she was the reason they won the first set. Carlos hadn’t failed to strike, but hey, it’s a team game. If your teammate sucks, you live with the consequences.

“Is it the adrenaline, or did something happen to you?” Max asked with a smirk.

“It feels good to win, you know?”

“Oh, believe me, I know,” Max laughed.

Charles turned to watch Carlos talking to Zara, his hands on her waist. Charles looked away.

“Maybe it’s not just the winning, I guess,” Max said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Charles replied, walking past him.

They returned to their positions.

Carlos locked eyes with Charles. A shiver ran down Charles’s spine. That look—it made him go cold. Was Carlos mad? But Carlos wasn’t a sore loser. He wouldn’t be mad at Charles for beating his girlfriend at paddle right?

Whatever. Charles couldn’t care less. It was about him winning, not about revenge on Zara—he gaslighted himself into believing.

Charles served the ball. Carlos returned it with lightning speed. So fast that Charles’s eyes couldn’t follow—and he missed the ball.

“POINT!” the referee called, raising a hand to Carlos’s side.

Charles stood stunned for a second. He had his eyes on the ball. How could he miss it? 

“What the hell happened?”

Max walked over to retrieve the ball.

“It’s alright, mate,” Max consoled him.

Charles couldn’t believe it. He looked up to see Zara hyping Carlos, and Carlos smiling back at her.

A soft smile tugged at Carlos's lips, sweat dripping from his forehead, muscles relaxed, eyes tender as he looked at her. Just moments ago, Carlos had looked at Charles like he could break him. Now, he was the complete opposite with her.

Carlos wrapped his arms around her as she hugged him in celebration.

An unknown ache spread through Charles's body. Eyes waiting for Carlos to look at him, hands itching to move, legs giving out, lungs failing to breathe, and a sharp stab of pain in his heart.

“Are you alright?” Max asked.

Charles didn’t reply.

Are you alright?

Are you alright?

Are you alright?

Before Charles could decide whether to answer, the referee asked if they were ready to continue the match.

Charles nodded in reflex.

The match resumed. Charles and Max gave it everything, but something in Charles had given up. He tried to focus, but all he could think about was how Carlos looked at her—and how he looked at him.

That wrath in Carlos’s eyes, Charles had never seen it like that. Well, he had but never directed at him.

Even during their years as teammates, Carlos was always calm with Charles. He’d analyze the situation, never lose control even when Charles did. Maybe that’s why they fit so perfectly for four years.

“If they win this set, they win the finals,” Max said.

“I know,” Charles snapped.

Max folded his arms.

“I’m sorry,” Charles said, grabbing Max’s arm. “It’s just—” he shook his head.

“It’s alright to lose, man. Don’t stress yourself.”

“No. It’s not! It’s not fair to you that I suck,” Charles said.

Max chuckled.

“There’s nothing for the winners, you know.”

“There’s a trophy,” Charles replied, looking at Max like he was dumb.

“Yeah, but I already have a house full of trophies, so I probably don’t need it,” Max shrugged.

“Show off,” Charles muttered, shaking his head.

Max patted him on the back.

“If we win, great. I love winning. But if we lose, glad we don’t have to pay for everyone’s dinner tonight.”

Charles chuckled. Max wasn’t one to back off from winning, but he was saying all this to console Charles. If Charles lost on his own, it would be fine, but something had gotten into his head. He just couldn’t place it. Why was he feeling this way?

The third set began. Charles and Max gave it their all but lost in the end. Zara was not as bad as Charles thought. 

Charles let the defeat sink in as Zara threw herself into Carlos’s arms. If Charles's heart hadn’t broken already, Carlos made sure of it by spinning her around. Charles turned away, trying to stop the knife from twisting deeper.

A wave of hurt washed over him. He felt the emptiness pull him under. He watched Carlos and Zara share a matching laugh, his arms still around her, eyes locked with hers, her feet off the ground as they embraced.

Charles bit his lip. He didn’t want people to see them tremble. He told himself it was just the loss, and has nothing to do with Zara kissing Carlos’s cheek. 

Charles walked over to them, not wanting to seem rude.

Carlos let Zara down as he saw Charles approaching. Charles extended his hand for a shake. Carlos shook it firmly.

Charles had once wondered what Carlos’s hands would feel like on him. Now, he was wondering what those same hands would do to Zara tonight. He felt ashamed for thinking that. He had no right to Carlos’s personal life.

But still—what if Charles was his personal life?

The thought came and went as Zara offered a polite smile and said,

“Nice game.”

Charles walked off the court, hearing Carlos shout about the party at his place.

Charles headed home to shower. He didn’t want to show up at Carlos’s party, but if he didn’t, people would say he was a sore loser. So he drove to his place and took a long shower.

As the water hit his body, he let the soreness wash away. He closed his eyes under the spray, hoping for darkness, but all he could see was Carlos in those shorts.

The way he stayed focused, calm and composed under pressure, speaking softly, soaked with sweat. Charles shampooed his hair, remembering how Zara had run her hands through Carlos’s wet hair.

He also remembered Carlos wiping his sweat with his forearm, making the body hair on his arms glisten even more.

Charles stepped out, dried his hair, and got dressed for the party.

Just as he expected, the party was already packed.

“Let’s show the face and get it over with,” Charles muttered to himself.

Oscar was the first to spot him.

“Mate. Good game.”

Charles chuckled. “Thanks.”

They poured whiskey and sat on the couch. The DJ changed the music.

“Is that Lando?” Charles asked without even looking.

“Obviously,” Oscar shrugged.

“I’m shocked Carlos arranged all this so soon,” Charles said.

“Maybe he already planned it, you know,” George replied, joining them.

“He knew he’d beat your ass,” George laughed.

“At least we made it to the finals.”

“No use, I guess. There’s no prize for runners,” George shrugged.

Charles couldn’t argue. Because he was right. There’s nothing more satisfying than a win even if runners did get a prize.

The three of them chatted about the upcoming Grand Prix. During the conversation, Charles spotted Carlos with Zara.

Was she really that funny? Because Carlos couldn’t stop laughing.

“HELLO GUYS!!” Lando joined them, and the conversation shifted to Max’s baby shower. Max joined in.

“So, should Charles and I give them their trophy?” Max asked.

“Yes! It’s an honor—for the runners,” George teased.

“What was the budget for this tournament?” Charles asked.

Can’t they at least get a trophy for the runners?

“Don’t worry about it. I earned it by betting against you,” George said, patting Charles’s shoulder.

Charles was observant. That’s why he kept watching Zara and Carlos. The way her body leaned into him, the way her hand brushed against his.

“Sorry to ask—but are they a couple?” Charles asked Lando out of the blue.

Everyone stopped talking.

“No! I mean– I don’t think so,” Lando shrugged, sipping his whiskey.

“What makes you ask that?” Lando followed up.

“Oh, nothing. Carlos never mentioned having a girlfriend.”

“Because he doesn’t,” Lando said.

“Yeah, they don’t look like a couple,” Oscar added. “It’s inappropriate to ask, so everyone just lets it go.”

“Isn’t she your friend?” George asked.

“Who?” Alex joined the group.

“I wasn’t talking to you—I asked Lando,” George replied.

“She is. Not close, but yeah,” Lando nodded.

“Oh! Are you guys guessing if they’re dating?”

“No,” said Oscar.

“Yes,” said Charles.

Don’t look at him. He just wants answers.

“I’ve got an idea,” Alex said.

“Whenever Lilly and I play ‘Sibling or Dating,’ we use three questions to figure it out.”

“Ooh, interesting,” George said.

“So the first question is, do they not care about personal space?”

Alex asked.

Everyone’s eyes flicked to Carlos and Zara except Charles. He stared at the carpet.

“Yes,” Oscar said.

“Okay! The next one is, are they sharing secret soft glances?”

Just like before, everyone looked back at them.

Zara and Carlos were talking about how to mix drinks, as Carlos explained what his favorite cocktail was. She asked, “Can I taste it?” Carlos welcomed her. As he started to make the mix, she stared at Carlos with eyes that said what her lips were afraid to.

“Uhm—It’s a check,” Lando shrugged.

“Okay! Now comes the main part,” Alex said.

Everyone locked their focus on Alex’s words.

“Are they making each other smile?”

Everyone turned to the pair to see Zara saying something that made Carlos laugh. Eyes closed, hand clenching his stomach, head thrown back, face flushed with happiness.

As he laughed, she stared at him like he was the one thing she needs right now.

“It’s a triple check,” George said aloud.

“Wow! All my life I thought that if you wanted to figure out if two people were siblings or dating, they just had to look alike,” Max said, sipping his bourbon.

“Wait a minute!!” Gasly said, then added,

“Now that you mention similarity, it hits me Carlos really has a type.”

“Yeah! I mean—look at Charles,” Lando laughed.

“What do you mean?” Charles asked, annoyed.

“All I mean is, I think Carlos likes green eyes staring at him because look at her. She’s practically you.”

Once they said it,

Charles started to see it.

Green eyes, dimples, brown hair, even the same height as Charles. He sees it. Charles sees it. Carlos just replaced him.

Charles stood up abruptly and walked away from them, muttering an excuse, drawing everyone’s eyes from Carlos to him as he left.

“What happened to him?” they wondered.

Charles went to the kitchen to get some air.

Was it true? Did Carlos replace him just like that? Is it over for Carlos and Charles?

Worst thoughts clouded Charles’s mind. He drank water and splashed some on his face.

“It’s alright. It’s just—”

“Charles! We have to give the trophy. Are you coming?” Max asked, his head peeking into the kitchen.

“I’ll be back,” Charles said, raising his hands.

Charles took a deep breath, panic rising as he thought about Alex’s questions.

Do they not care about personal space?

Damn right! Carlos and Charles always walked body-pressed to each other.

Are they sharing soft glances or sharing food?

Every goddamn time. Charles would catch Carlos staring at him, only to look away. And Charles found himself doing the same, thinking of the things he could do to Carlos.

Charles remembered Carlos making coffee for him even after he moved to Williams.

Are they making each other smile?

When didn’t they? Their team would complain and ask them to stop, but Carlos never failed to make Charles smile.

Maybe it’s for the best, Charles thought.

Carlos found someone who could love him the way he deserved. Charles shouldn’t confuse his feelings. He should bottle everything up and hope it fades away.

He stood straight and returned to the living room. Max was ready with the trophy. Charles joined him.

“Here we go, everybody!” George clapped.

Max and Charles gave the trophy to the couple. Everyone cheered, but Charles flinched when his hand brushed against Carlos’s.

“DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!” everyone chanted. Carlos shook his head, laughing, but Zara shrugged, took the cup, and started to bottoms up. 

Cheers erupted from the crowd. When she finished, Carlos clapped, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

The crowd erupted louder as she deepened the kiss. Carlos was frozen, eyes wide, unsure of what to do. He placed his hands on her waist and kissed her back. She leaned back with a smile, while Carlos stood there, stunned, masking it with a smile.

Everyone turned back to their conversations.

Charles stood there, very aware of the knife Carlos had just twisted in his heart.

Carlos’s eyes found Charles’s. They screamed something Charles couldn’t read.

All Charles felt was betrayal.

Unfair, maybe, but at least he was honest with himself. Carlos had treated him like he meant something, only to kiss a girl in front of everyone.

Charles was only worth to look at, to stare, all the beauty only to admire with eyes. Not to touch, love, treat or feel good.

Charles’s eyes burned with hurt. He felt it all over his body, like a stab in his heart. Voices echoed in his mind,

Run away,

Run away,

Run away.

And that’s what Charles did to save himself from the embarrassment. He knew Carlos saw the hurt on his eyes. So Charles rushed to the main door.

As he rushed, he heard Carlos calling him.

“Charles! Charles! Wait!!”

Charles ignored him. He didn’t want to deal with this. He made it to the front garden, trying to remember where he’d parked.

“For God’s sake, wait!” Carlos grabbed his hand and spun him around.

“What the fuck do you want, Carlos?” Charles screamed into the night.

“I—What happened, Charles?” Carlos asked softly.

Tone that was so soft that if he raised his voice, Charles would break. It pissed Charles off. Carlos didn’t get to treat him like this—with tenderness and care, not after what he did.

“I’m heading home,” Charles said with a shrug, as if the lipstick mark on Carlos’s lips wasn’t bothering him.

“But why? You just got here,” Carlos said.

“Oh-ho,” Charles scoffed, annoyed.

“I’ve been here for ages. You just failed to notice,” Charles said.

“I’m sorry,” Carlos stepped closer.

Do they care about personal space?

“Stop!” Charles raised a finger.

Carlos paused, looking hurt.

“Can I ask you something, Carlos?”

Charles wanted to scream, cry, hit him for acting hurt after stabbing Charles in the heart.

Carlos nodded, not trusting his voice.

“Have you ever been truthful to me?”

Carlos scoffed. “I always have.”

Charles stepped closer. Carlos took a step back.

Moonlight passed between them as Charles whispered,

“Then what’s the truth behind all your stares, the tender touches?”

Carlos swallowed hard, hesitating.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Charles laughed bitterly and stepped back.

“Of course you don’t. All you know is how to lie.”

“Lie? What do you mean I lied?”

“Remember when I met Alex and introduced her to you? You said I deserved that. That I deserved to be loved, not just seen as a pretty face to jerk off to.”

Carlos flinched at the memory. He could never forget it, even if he tried.

“I believed you. I fucking believed you. But it was all a lie, wasn’t it?”

Carlos stepped forward to console him, to reach out.

“It’s—not a lie, baby.” The nickname slipped out naturally, as if he’d been saying it forever in his head.

“Oh? Then what about all the signals you gave me, Carlos? I'm seeing visions, am I bad?

Or mad? Or wise?” Charles asked as he felt tears Falling down his face

“I’m sorry for coming out to you like this, Carlos. But the messy top-lip kiss? God, how I longed for our trysts.”

He ran a hand through his hair, trying to soothe the anxiety wrecking him.

“When Mattia found out about me, I—” Charles choked on the words.

“He said it was a sin. That loving you was a sin.”

Carlos stood still. He had no idea Charles had loved him for that long.

“But Carlos—” Charles lifted his eyes to meet him.

“Without even touching your skin, how can I be guilty of sin?”

Charles turned and walked away.

Carlos stood frozen, words broken inside him.

He hadn’t meant to hurt Charles. He only kissed Zara to avoid embarrassing her in front of everyone. He told her the truth and rushed out after Charles.

Did you find your soulmate? 

Carlos could hear his Mom's voice. 

If he does the thing he's aching to do, his family will abandon him. He remembers how Charles always tells him that he's enough. Like that Charles is enough for Carlos.

With a steady mind, Carlos called Charles again. 

Charles turned to him just in time Carlos kissed him. Caught off guard Charles stumbled backward with Carlos’s weight on him. 

Carlos cupped his neck, deepening the kiss. And Charles—he gave in.

His knees buckled, heart thudding. Eyes closed, he kissed Carlos back, arms wrapping around him.

Carlos tasted like a weird cocktail, but Charles didn’t mind. All he cared about was the feel of Carlos’s lips, the warmth of his body.

They parted for a breath.

“Ay—” Carlos still held him close.

Charles bit his lower lip, face flushed.

“I’m sorry I acted like a coward,” Carlos said.

“But I have no interest in her. That kiss meant nothing. it was just to get past the moment.”

Charles nodded, believing him.

“I guess we’ve got a lot to catch up on,” Charles said.

“Definitely. How about I take you on a date?” Carlos asked.

Charles smiled, sheepish but hopeful.

“I’d love to.”

Chapter Text

Carlos breathed out the air he was holding as they reached Charles's house. Two days ago, Carlos had promised Charles a date — today, he finally gets to take him to his favorite restaurant and talk everything out.

He started by sharing how he had always felt something for Charles, something he had always been too afraid to acknowledge.

"As I look into it, all I feel is ‘I like you.’ I can't think of any other explanation," Carlos said.

Charles smiled and confessed how he was bi and had always had eyes for Carlos.

"Unlike you, I knew I liked you from the very start," Charles said.

"That's easy because you already figured out your sexuality," Carlos replied.

Charles frowned slightly, thinking about it.

"Well, it’s always hard to admit you have feelings for your teammate. Also, I thought you were straight, so it fucked me up like a bitch."

Carlos nodded like he agreed.

It's not a competition.

"I thought I was straight too. Maybe I'm just– Charles-sexual," Carlos joked.

They both laughed. God, Carlos could listen to Charles Leclerc’s laugh for a lifetime.

Carlos apologized for the whole Zara mess.

"I get why you invited her, but ignoring me? That’s what I don't get."

"I did it so you and Lando wouldn’t kill each other. But that day—"

“You’re not that much in demand, Carlos," Charles rolled his eyes.

Carlos gave him a face.

"Really? Then why did you storm out when I kissed her?"

"Fuck off," Charles said, kicking him lightly under the table.

Carlos laughed and continued,

"I saw you and Max together and I didn't like it. Also, I promised Zara I'd be there for her. She doesn't have many friends."

"She has Lando," Charles said, not meeting Carlos’s eyes.

"Believe me, sometimes I feel like they don’t even know each other," Carlos replied.

Charles just nodded.

"I didn’t know she had feelings for me. I didn’t expect her to kiss me. I swear, I wasn’t trying to make you jealous. I just hated myself for feeling jealous that you were with Max. So I distanced myself," Carlos explained.

“For the record, I don’t blame her. Look at you,  how could someone not fall for you?" Charles said in admiration.

Carlos smiled.

 "I thought I wasn’t that much in demand."

Carlos watched Charles unlock his apartment door, punching in the passcode.

"Do you wanna come in?" Charles asked.

Carlos wanted to — he wished to — but he shook his head.

 "Sorry, I'm not fucking you on the first date."

Charles chuckled.

"Kiss?"

"Oh, I'm a gentleman," Carlos said, leaning in to peek Charles’s cheek.

"Seriously? Two days ago, you fucked my mouth with your kiss," Charles said.

Carlos laughed.

"What the fuck."

They both laughed together. Charles bid him goodnight, and Carlos drove to his apartment, feeling whole-heartedly happy.

He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about how stupid he had been. It was all in front of him the whole time.

He was still smiling to himself when he saw a text from his mother:

Saw you are in a restaurant in X. Is it a date?

Carlos replied, ‘Yes’ but didn’t mention it was with Charles.

He thought about reminding Charles of the night in the loft during the winter holidays,  but he held back. If he brought that up, he'd have to explain that the Sainz family has a soulmate belief, and Charles would just tease him about it.

Like he told his mom,  he’s going to date who he loves, fall in love with them, and if it’s Charles, then let it be Charles. Carlos was over the soulmate nonsense anyway.

—

Dating Charles feels like winning Singapore 2023 for Carlos.

Fun, happy, high, and endless joy.

Carlos tried—he really tried—to keep his mouth shut for once, but he couldn’t. His lips were always tugged upwards in a smile whenever Charles was with him.

He thought it would fade away once the early dating phase was over, but it didn’t.

Carlos still couldn’t control his body when Charles was near.

His eyes always followed Charles’s movements, his blood pumped faster, his heartbeat raced, and his face flushed, whether from a smile or a heated makeout session, like right now.

“I fucking bet men in pink shirts are your kink,” Carlos said, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

Charles fell back onto the sofa, breathing heavily. Carlos watched the way Charles’s chest rose and fell.

“Not—” Charles struggled to catch his breath, “Not all men. Only you.”

Carlos tried not to blush.

“You just say anything to make me smile.”

Carlos shook his head and walked to the kitchen.

“Is it working?” Charles teased, propping himself up on his elbows to look at Carlos.

“Cabron,” Carlos said fondly.

Carlos made himself a coffee and brought another cup for Charles.

“Thank you,” Charles smiled.

They both sat at opposite chairs, Carlos’s leg casually thrown over Charles’s lap.

Carlos sipped his coffee while scrolling through Instagram. After finishing half of his cup, he said without looking up,

“Stop staring.”

Charles chuckled but didn’t obey. His eyes stayed fixed on Carlos, smiling softly.

“What?” Carlos laughed as he finally looked at him.

Charles just shook his head, still smiling.

“Tell me,” Carlos pushed his leg gently against Charles’s stomach.

Charles threw his head back and stared at the ceiling.

“Look at you. Woke up early, took a bath, came here just to wake me up with coffee. How did I get so lucky?”

Carlos chuckled.

“Don’t get used to it.”

Charles pointed a playful look at Carlos.

“Really?”

Carlos shrugged.

“It’s been three months,” Charles said thoughtfully. “Are we still in the honeymoon phase, or... is this how dating is supposed to feel?”

Carlos pulled his leg away.

“Go take a bath. I have plans for us.”

Charles grinned.

---

“I hate you, Carlos.”

Charles said, voice filled with fear as Carlos laughed.

“Yeah?” Carlos asked while securing his parachute harness.

He walked to Charles, and they both looked down from the aircraft.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Charles turned to him, thoroughly unimpressed.

“All we have to do is jump.”

Carlos placed a reassuring hand on Charles’s shoulder.

“I’m never forgiving you,” Charles muttered.

“I’m here if you’re scared,” the instructor said from behind them.

“He’s alright,” Carlos said, patting Charles's shoulder again.

Charles had once admitted he was terrified of skydiving. Years ago, he'd backed out at the last second.

Charles gulped as he looked down again.

“Can you give us a second?” Charles asked the instructor.

The man nodded and stepped back. Carlos turned to him, giving his full attention.

Charles folded his arms, speaking softly:

“Why do you hate me?”

Carlos chuckled.

“Why would I hate you, baby?”

He placed his hand back on Charles’s arms.

“Then explain. You're clearly trying to kill me here,” Charles said dramatically.

Carlos laughed.

“Don't be dramatic. I just wanted us to have a memorable day.”

“Is my death a memorable day?” Charles deadpanned.

Carlos shook his head, amused.

“I’ll be with you. Don’t worry.”

“I need more than that to do this reckless thing,” Charles muttered.

Carlos thought for a second, then sighed.

“Fine. I’ll cut some of my slutty clips from the next Don’t Blink episode.”

Charles raised an eyebrow.

Carlos groaned.

“Okay! I won’t include any shirtless clips.”

“Okay,” Charles nodded seriously and turned to the instructor.

“I’m in. Strap me to him.”

Carlos laughed nervously. But as he looked down again, a strange wave of nausea crawled over his skin. He imagined himself falling and flinched backward. What is happening? 

His head started to hurt with a distant vision of someone falling down the Cliff, the pain followed his heart, it hurts, the feeling of loss. 

The way he felt his knees giving out as Carlos jumped to the person scared the shit out of Carlos. Carlos gasped as he held the nearest handlebar to steady himself.

“Is something wrong?” The instructor asked.

Carlos rubbed his temple. 

“I’m good. Just need sometime” 

Moments later,

“Ready?” the instructor called from behind.

Before Charles could even reply, Carlos jumped, pulling Charles along.

“AHHHHHHHH!”

“WOAHHHHHH!”

They both screamed. Charles squeezed his eyes shut tight.

As the wind ripped past their faces, Charles shouted,

“I’M BREAKING UP WITH YOU, AHHH!”

Carlos laughed through the free fall.

“Open your eyes, mi amor!”

Charles tried. He felt Carlos’s hand tightly gripping his.

“I’m here with you. Trust me.” Carlos’s voice cut through the noise.

Charles finally opened his eyes—and immediately screamed—but then…

He saw the sky, the endless horizon, Carlos smiling at him.

The fear slowly melted away, replaced by excitement.

They both screamed again—but this time with pure joy.

“Do you still regret it?” Carlos asked, his voice carried by the wind.

Charles didn’t answer. Not yet.

He was too busy loving the view: Carlos strapped to him, the sky endless, as if it was just them against the world.

Carlos pulled the parachute cord.

Suddenly, everything was calmer.

They floated down together, smiling so wide their cheeks hurt.

“I’m loving it!”

Charles yelled.

Carlos heard it—and smiled wider—but his chest was tight with a strange, overwhelming feeling. It wasn’t just happiness.

It was peaceful. Carlos never had any bucket list of doing this with Charles but right now he's feeling the world saying ‘You did it’ 

Carlos couldn't understand. Why is he feeling this? Why now? Why with Charles? Why did Carlos see himself jump for someone from the Cliff? Even in this confusion, Carlos felt good somehow. 

They landed, dragging their feet through the grass. The parachute collapsed behind them.

“Remove it! Remove it!” Carlos urged. They undid their harnesses quickly.

Charles turned to Carlos, still grinning. Carlos barely noticed—he was dragging Charles away from the landing zone when—

“Will you meet my parents?” Charles blurted out.

Carlos blinked.

“Uh—”

“You asked if I regretted it. Here’s my answer: no, Carlos. I don’t regret a single thing I get to do with you.”

Carlos stared at him, stunned.

And once he realized Charles was serious, he smiled and said:

“Yes.”

“Yes?!” Charles shouted.

“Yeah. Why not? I’m ready to impress your mother.” Carlos shrugged, trying to play it cool.

Charles laughed and threw his arms around Carlos.

Carlos had questions—so many questions—but he pushed them aside.

For now, all he wanted was to see Charles happy.

---

Carlos didn't sleep that night. He had been staring at his laptop screen for the past twenty minutes.

He groaned as he filled in the answer to the next question.

D) Which of the options below best describes how you would feel when you meet an attractive person of the opposite gender?

• I might appreciate some of their physical attributes and it would be nice to have some of those features.

• I wish to flirt with them.

• I would approach them after our vibes match.

• I don’t feel anything.

• I would like to know them better.

Carlos cussed under his breath.

What would I do?

He was currently taking the "What Is My Sexuality?" quiz.

He still hadn't labeled himself.

He was unsure about a lot of things.

All he knew was — he liked women, and he liked Charles.

“What did I do with Charles?” Carlos thought hard. He couldn't remember clearly.

“Fuck. It's been so long,” he muttered.

He had acknowledged that he liked Charles only after they had bonded closely.

So... that meant Carlos might be demisexual?

It's where individuals only experience sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional connection.

He moved on to the next question:

E) Who do you crush on the most frequently?

• The same gender.

• The opposite gender.

• Both genders.

• I rarely or never crush on anyone.

• Anyone, gender doesn't matter to me.

Carlos reread the question and clicked option 2 — The opposite gender.

F) Your best friend admits being gay. What would be your first reaction?

• Although I would not care, I would be pleased for them.

• I would be supportive regardless of their sexuality.

• Would ask them if they would ever be interested in me.

• Would be happy for them, and ask about their experiences.

• I would acknowledge and admit my sexuality too.

Carlos bit his nails.

He thought for a long time and clicked option 4 — Would be happy for them, and ask about their experiences.

G) When discussing attraction, what matters most to you?

• Physical and emotional connections with the opposite gender are crucial.

• I value a combination of physical and emotional connections, regardless of gender.

• Emotional connections with the same gender are most important to me.

• I prioritize deep emotional connections over physical attraction.

• I value both physical and emotional connections, regardless of gender identity.

This was where Carlos struggled.

He wasn’t sure if he was into physical intimacy with the same gender.

Sure, he liked kissing Charles... but sex?

Or anything more than kissing?

Charles had given him blowjobs before, and Carlos enjoyed them,

but he himself had never initiated anything deeper with Charles.

Whenever he tried, Charles would always pull away.

“Uhm–Can we—Can we maybe do this another time?”

Charles would place his hands over Carlos's when Carlos tried to undo Charles's pants.

Carlos would immediately back off, apologizing,

“I'm sorry. I didn't—”

“No! Carlos. It's not you. It's just—maybe some other time?” Charles would reassure him.

Carlos would nod and chirp,

“Sure.”

---

There were nights where Carlos was pushed against the wall as Charles wrecked him with kisses.

“I told you not to shave,” Charles would nibble at Carlos's neck.

“It'll grow back,” Carlos panted, feeling blood rush south.

“Until then, I’m off-limits,” Charles teased, backing away after taking Carlos to cloud nine.

“Wha–What??” Carlos stared at him in disbelief.

Charles made a kissy face and walked away.

Carlos wasn't going to drop it so easily.

He grabbed Charles's waist and pushed him down onto the bed.

“What the fuck?” Charles laughed as Carlos flopped on top of him.

“Let’s see who's off-limits now?” Carlos raised his eyebrows challengingly.

Charles chuckled nervously.

He let Carlos kiss him, pamper him —

but the moment Carlos’s hand traveled lower, Charles gently pushed him away again.

“I'm sorry, I—I'm not ready,” Charles said softly.

Carlos understood.

Even though it hurt... he understood.

Days passed.

Weeks passed.

Three months passed.

Still, Charles wasn’t ready.

Carlos kept telling himself it was fine — but sometimes, it gnawed at him.

Was it about trust?

Was Charles not trusting him?

---

One night, after a blow job, Charles flopped next to Carlos, still catching his breath.

“What happened to you today?” Carlos asked, handing him a tissue from the nightstand. His legs were still tingling from the pleasure.

“Your overtake with Yuki made me hard” Charles said, wiping his hands and tossing the tissue in the bin.

“You saw it?” Carlos smiled, passing him some sanitizer.

“Yeah. They showed it in the cool-down room.” Charles accepted the sanitizer and cleaned his hands.

Carlos watched him curiously.

Charles raised an eyebrow in question.

“Can I?” Carlos asked hesitantly.

Charles hesitated but didn’t say no.

“It’s okay if you don’t want me to,” Carlos quickly added.

“No! It’s—Carlos, I—” Charles struggled with the words.

“I know it’s been months since we started dating but—uh—I’m—”

“Not comfortable with me?” Carlos asked.

It killed him to say it out loud, but he needed to hear it.

The ‘I’m not ready’ excuse had passed its expiration date, especially when Charles was more than willing to pleasure Carlos  but froze whenever Carlos tried to touch him below the waist.

Carlos had never even seen Charles fully naked.

“I’ve never done anything” Charles started.

“But you—”

“Yes! I was always the one giving. Never the one receiving it.”

“Ohhh,” Carlos said, realising dawning.

Charles always topped?

Never bottomed?

But still, it didn’t fully explain the "Don't touch me" fear.

Charles continued, voice tight,

“I know it's new for you too... but I have an ugly secret. And I don’t want you to know — at least, not until I’m ready to share it.”

Carlos would be lying if he said it didn’t sting.

Yes, it had only been three months.

Charles didn’t have to spill all his secrets.

But still.

“Don't give me that betrayal look,” Charles said sharply, standing up from the bed.

“I didn’t say anything,” Carlos defended quietly.

“You didn’t have to. Your face said it.” Charles rolled his eyes.

“Are you leaving?” Carlos asked, surprised.

“Yeah. I have to feed Leo.”

Carlos let Charles leave without another word.

Charles acted like it didn’t matter but just as he twisted the doorknob, he heard Carlos's voice.

“Charles.”

Charles turned back.

“I understand. I'm not mad.”

Carlos smiled, small and sincere.

Charles gave a disbelieving laugh, letting his tongue roam around his teeth.

“You can’t be mad... because you're not the only one keeping secrets,” Charles said softly, then closed the door behind him.

Carlos blinked.

Was he talking about the whole soulmate thing?

Did Charles even remember that?

Carlos had told him about it.

Charles had laughed it off, made fun of it.

It wasn’t a secret — not really.

They both slept in their separate beds that night, knowing they were being stubborn.

They should talk it out but both chose to cling to their silent grudges instead.

---

Carlos sighed and looked back at the quiz question.

He was still unsure how to answer.He wasn’t experimenting with Charles. He wasn’t using Charles.

He genuinely liked Charles.He trusted him.

And for Carlos, that was enough.

But he had agreed to meet Charles’s family soon. What if they asked him what his sexuality was?

Argh. God!

He skipped the question and moved on.

H) Currently, what sexual orientation do you think best describes you?

• Homosexuality

• Heterosexuality

• Bisexuality

• Asexuality

• Pansexuality

Carlos stared at the screen and yelled:

“IF I KNEW, WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE TAKING THIS?”

He slammed the laptop shut and buried himself under the covers.

Because at the end of the day, all that mattered was that he liked Charles. He trusted Charles.

And that was enough.

Chapter Text

"I bought your mum's favorite," Carlos said as he adjusted his hair for the hundredth time.

"Don't tell me you called Oscar," Charles said as he pressed the doorbell.

"I called Lando, who called Oscar."

Because Oscar knew what Charles's mother's favourite pastries were. 

The door opened, and Charles's mother welcomed them.

"Hello," Charles's mother said, hugging Charles.

"Hola," Carlos waved.

"Argh! What's with the formality?" Charles's mother hugged Carlos too.

"Alright," Carlos laughed and hugged her back. They had never hugged when they were at Ferrari.

"Get in."

Carlos and Charles stepped inside. The Leclerc family greeted both of them warmly.

Carlos braced himself for a series of questions — about his intentions with Charles, whether he was dating Charles to get information from Ferrari, or if he was using Charles to figure out his sexuality. Carlos wasn't this afraid or nervous for anything in his life, his hands trembled a little. 

But all Arthur asked was,

"So, Carlos, What took you guys so long?"

Carlos was taken aback by the simple question.

"Uhm—" Before Carlos could answer, Arthur added,

"I'm not talking about your travels here. I'm talking about my brother — to date him."

What took so long to start dating Charles? Arthur was asking — or maybe mocking — him.

Carlos looked at their older brother, Lorenzo, who slapped Arthur’s arm and said,

"Don't mind him. He's just happy that he won."

"Won what?" Charles asked.

"Nothing," Lorenzo and Arthur said in unison.

"You guys had a bet?" Carlos asked.

"Don't mind them, take a seat," Charles's mom said.

"No! Wait. Is it true?" Charles insisted.

Arthur shrugged and looked at Carlos,

"For the record, I had faith in you guys."

"Oh, fuck off," Charles turned away, but Carlos grabbed his arm.

"Babe, it's fine," Carlos whispered.

"No. It's disrespectful. We both had girlfriends at that time," Charles said.

Yes, it was disrespectful, but Carlos always had a soft spot for Arthur. Maybe because he reminded him of Charles.

Charles’s mother turned the topic back to something lighter.

"Alright! Alright! We are sorry," Arthur said after Lorenzo apologized.

"So, Carlos?" Charles’s mother began.

Ah, here comes THE QUESTION, Carlos thought.

"What do you like to drink?" Charles’s mother smiled.

Carlos' heart thudded loud but he answered. So that's it? Carlos was afraid for something bigger but it's not even an issue in the first place? Carlos felt a ping of relief but he didn't let the fear go. He held onto it in the back of his mind so that when they hit, he was prepared. 

Their day flew smoothly from there. After lunch, Lorenzo took them all out on his yacht. They chatted as they watched the sunset.

They played board games. It was funny watching Charles and Arthur bicker with each other. They were playing UNO — Carlos won, followed by Lorenzo, and then the rest of Charles’s family. Charles and Arthur were still battling it out.

Carlos watched them fondly as he patted Leo.

"Stupid, both of them," Charles's mother said.

Carlos shook his head. "No. They’re so cute."

"Cute? Son, are you alright?" she teased.

Carlos laughed as he saw the drama unfold:

"I SAID UNO! NO, I SAID UNO. YOU MUST BE DEAF!" Charles yelled.

"You didn't say UNO. Now take two cards," Arthur said smugly.

Carlos smiled and pet Leo again.

"I always wanted a brother," Carlos said.

Charles’s mother smiled warmly.

"Man! Do you remember when you took 16 cards from the deck?" Charlotte said.

"16?" Carlos exclaimed.

"Yes. It was on New Year's. I was drunk so I lost," Charles said.

"You were stable enough to flirt with Luca," Arthur teased, and continued telling Carlos the story.

"He threw a +4 card at me, I added another +4, Beth — one of our friends — added +4, and Luca added +4 too. Charles had to take 16 cards from the deck."

Carlos remembered Luca from their winter holidays cabin trip.

"No one will ever beat that record," Arthur said proudly.

"Shut the fuck up," Charles said, and the bickering resumed.

"Did you change your opinion?" Charles's mother asked Carlos. He shook his head with a soft smile.

"You tried to cheat that game too, like you're doing now," Arthur teased.

"I didn't cheat."

"You did! You flirted with Luca so that he'd take all the cards," Arthur said as Charles booed.

Something inside Carlos stirred. His smile slowly faded. It's not fair to feel possessive, he told himself.

They had dinner. Before they left, Arthur pulled Carlos aside.

"I'm throwing Charles's birthday party next week. Just checking — you didn’t plan anything, right?"

"No! I— no. I was planning to take him to a restaurant. It's fine."

"Cool. Thanks, Carlos. Today was fun. Happy for you guys." Arthur shook Carlos’s hand.

Carlos gave a tight nod with a smile.

---

"Happy birthday, Charles!" everyone screamed as Charles raised his glass.

Arthur knew how to throw a party. He invited everyone on Charles's friend list. The place was packed and buzzing.

"Either people didn’t show up, or Arthur didn’t invite our colleagues," Carlos said.

Charles laughed. "I don't know. But it's a good time. I’ll introduce you to my friends."

Carlos hesitated. Was it the right time? Charles was tipsy , not drunk drunk, but tipsy.

Everyone wanted to take a shot with the birthday boy or challenge him to ping pong, and of course, so at the end Charles was tipsy or more. 

"Are you sure? Because it's okay—" Carlos started.

"I want to show you off, come on," Charles said, dragging Carlos with him.

Charles's close friends were lounging on a sofa, chatting.

"Hi, guys!" Charles chirped.

Everyone greeted them back.

"I have news," Charles started.

Everyone leaned forward. 

Carlos stood awkwardly behind Charles until Charles pulled him beside him by the hand.

Charles's friends' eyes widened with lips parted. 

"No way!" one of them screamed.

"Yes, way!" Charles giggled. Everyone started congratulating them.

"Also, uhm—we’re keeping it—" Charles started.

"We understand—" "Won't say anything—" "Zips on our mouths," his friends interrupted, understanding Charles wanted their relationship out of the media.

Charles smiled and thanked them. They all started chatting.

There were three boys and a girl, besides Charles and Carlos.

They asked how Carlos and Charles got together, and as Charles explained, everyone blamed him.

"Typical Charles,"

"LOL. Totally called” 

Carlos was confused. "Uhm, I don't get it?"

Charles looked annoyed. "Me too. Why ‘typical Charles’?"

"You’re always the possessive one," the girl — whose name Carlos forgot , said.

"I'm not!" Charles argued.

Everyone started throwing "remember whens."

Carlos was laughing his ass off. It's really funny to know more about Charles's childhood crushes. 

Charles, not so much.

Then Andy, one of Charles's friends, said something that wiped the smile off Carlos’s face.

"You kissed Luca just because he was flirting with Carlos."

Andy laughed, but Carlos froze.

"With me? When?" Carlos asked, confused.

"You’re so naive. The last night at winter camp, he was flirting with you but at that time Charles liked Luca so he got all possessive and kissed Luca." Andy said.

"I didn't kiss him," Charles protested, grabbing another beer and added,

"You guys wouldn’t even know if I did."

His friends insisted. Carlos could see why Charles was friends with these stubborn people. Just like Charles, they were trying to prove their point. 

"I heard you in his room that night," Andy said.

Carlos's heart cracked. He felt someone punched his gut. 

Did Charles spend the night with Luca?

Maybe Charles topped him? It would make sense, considering Charles always hesitated to bottom.

But still, It hurt to think Charles trusted Luca enough for that intimacy, when he struggled to trust Carlos.

"Can you guys stop this?" The girl interrupted.

But the argument continued. 

"Andy, shut the fuck up. He's with Carlos now," Ethan tried to intervene.

"You didn’t know what happened there, so just shut up!" Charles snapped.

"Good timing, because we can ask Luca!" Andy said.

Carlos looked up just in time to see Luca approaching.

"God, help me," Carlos whispered.

"Happy birthday, Charles," Luca said, giving Charles a cheek kiss.

Charles looked clearly uncomfortable.

Luca was five-foot-nine, with blue eyes and a charming voice. Carlos can see why Charles kissed Luca. 

The idea that Charles had trusted Luca, but not Carlos, made Carlos’s stomach churn. Stop being unfair, Carlos said to himself because he was not even in a relationship with Charles at that time. Carlos pulled his stupid thoughts and stood straight. 

"I got you something," Luca said.

"The gift table is that way," Charles said, guiding him politely.

Carlos ignored the rest of the conversation and wandered off.

He needed to breathe.

As he walked, he spotted a painting hidden under a white sheet , not hung on the wall, just leaning against it.

"What is this?" Carlos thought. He hadn't seen this painting before in Charles's guest room.

Maybe someone had placed it here by mistake? Carlos has to tell the caretaker to move it to the gift area. His hands itched to see what's behind the white sheets. 

As he walked to the gifting area , he heard the end of a conversation between Luca and Charles:

"—I know you’re drunk and mad, but I promise nothing about winter camp will get out."

Carlos's heart shattered.

So it was true?

Had Charles and Luca teamed up to teased Carlos and get into bed with each other later that night?

Even though Carlos thought he didn't give a fuck about that soulmate thing after dating Charles, it's still a big thing for Carlos to loose something he belived he grew up hearing. 

“CARLOS” Charles giggled.

"Charles," Carlos said tightly.

"You’re drunk," was all he managed to say. He didn’t meet Charles' eyes.

"Maybe," Charles giggled, stumbling into Carlos.

Carlos caught him easily.

"I guess I’ll leave," Luca said.

Carlos slowly walked Charles to his bedroom.

“Are you mad?” Charles asked who couldn't walk. Carlos had to drag him.

“Why would I be mad?” Carlos played safe.

“You are mad. I can see that” Charles said, worriedly.

The idea of Charles in stress made Carlos hurt more. Charles had the audacity to call Carlos the secret keeper while Charles himself was the first one to hurt Carlos?

Carlos took a deep breath as he let go of Charles's body onto the bed and removed his shoe. Charles didn't let go of Carlos.

“Even though you are not mad, I'm mad at you”

Carlos chuckled as he asked, “Why?”  in a very soft voice. Just enough to let Charles hear it. The voice only Carlos pulls when he adores Charles. Too domestic. He touched Charles' face who pushed his face against Carlos's big hands for warmth and affection. 

Charles looked like an innocent baby while sleeping or nearly asleep. Carlos wished he could wrap his arms around Charles and hold him against his chest. So that the world would fade away as they would be there for eachother. 

“You didn't wish me Happy birthday” Charles blabbered out.

Carlos shuts his eyes tightly. He took a deep breath as he sat near Charles's on the bed. He stroked Charles's hair, Charles purred softly. 

“My beautiful Charles,” Carlos wondered as he looked closely at Charles's face with admiration.

“I wish we could have cleared out the conversation that night instead of holding grudges because baby, it hurts, it fucking hurts that you are still not fully mine while I'm already headed my heels over for you. I'm sorry that I had to do this in this way, I hate to do it like this but I want to get it out. I– I'm sorry that I lied which is technically not a lie but still. 

I should have said something about the whole soulmate thing after I started dating. I should have cleared the air between us. I didn't say anything about my soulmate because I thought it didn't matter, I thought it was over but little did I know that it was just beginning? Oh Charles, You make me feel so alive and happy just by being there for me. So, Happy birthday to My Man”

Carlos stroked Charles' hair who was already asleep. He smiled and said,

“I never thought this would happen. Dating you changed my world completely. Today, I wanted you to know that, with or without you trusting me, te amo. Yes, you sleepy headed Charles, you heard it right, I love you. I'm scared of how I feel for you so easily. The homophobic family I got back home? I don't know what they will say, I feel like I committed sin by falling in love with you. Like you said, without ever touching your skin, How can I be guilty of sin?”

Carlos kissed Charles' forehead softly. Letting his lips linger for an extra moment, savouring the feeling. 

“From thinking there is no such thing as soulmate just because you said so, To Falling in love with you thinking that you are my soulmate” 

Carlos’s vision blurred as tears swell up his eyes. 

“You have always said that, I'm mister right in everything but I'm not Charles. This time, I'm wrong. With you, I'm wrong”

His heart shuttered as he spoke the words, his throat constructed as he tried to voice out the words in his head, hand shaking with fear of what is going to happen, lips trembling with sadness, Carlos said,

“You are not my soulmate, Charles. You knew that, didn't you?” Carlos asked and continued,

“That's why you fucking kept that painting to yourself. That's why you didn't want me to see it” Carlos cried, it pains Carlos to get rid of Charles.

“That’s why you always hold back every time, I try something more, don't you?” Carlos's tears fell on Charles's lips.

The lips Carlos had showered with kisses are now strained with tears. 

Carlos is feeling something more when the other person doesn't even trust him. Charles sleeping with Luca is not the problem for Carlos. 

The thought of Charles not trusting Carlos after being with him for four and half years is killing him. How can you tell the people that you like someone when you constantly keep on lying? 

“God! I want to kiss you like the first time,

Hold you like it's not goodbye.” 

Carlos took his hands away from Charles. With a heavy heart, he walked away from Charles. Tears trailing down his face, he walked out of Charles's house and Charles's life. 

That night, Carlos thought about the painting again. The century year old drawing of Carlos in a knight attire, sword placed on his left, looking stubborn and steady near– Zara.

The woman who exactly looks like Charles. His real soulmate. Just like his friends said, Charles got what he wanted and kept on lying just to keep Carlos to himself. As Carlos drifted off to sleep, his past flooded back to his memories. This time it's not distant or blurry. It was crystal clear to Carlos. 

Chapter Text

Carlos walked straight, nodding as people bowed their heads slightly to him. His armour gleamed under the chandelier. People were setting up new chandeliers for the upcoming birthday ball. The castle buzzed with work and preparation. The majesty wanted this event to be special, as it would attract many suitors for his beloved daughter.

Carlos approached the king, who was speaking with council members. Upon noticing Carlos, the king paused.

“My lord,” Carlos said, kneeling before the king, who nodded for him to rise.

“How are the preparations going?” The king asked.

Carlos explained that everything was under control and progressing well.

“Good. I want this to be the ball everyone talks about,” the king said firmly.

Carlos assured him there would be no mistakes. While they discussed the ball, the beautiful Princess of Zovender appeared.

She was giggling with her companions, wearing a gown tailored perfectly to her figure. Over it, she wore a royal fur coat that trailed behind her as she walked. She came to stand beside The king. Everyone greeted her with respectful bows and kind words.

“Carlos,” she said with a smile.

“My lady,” he replied.

“You look dull. Is my father torturing you with all the ball preparations?” she teased.

The king chuckled as Carlos responded,

“Everyone just wants the best for you, Princess Zara.”

“I appreciate it,” she said with a smile.

Carlos explained the theme and details to her. She listened carefully, occasionally glancing at his face with a gentle smile.

“That’s all, Your Majesty,” Carlos concluded.

“What do you think, Zara?” The king asked.

She hugged him and said, “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

The council members shared a smile.

After the meeting, Carlos checked in with the soldiers about border concerns and sighed.

“Long day?” Lando asked.

“Yes. Thank you, Lando.” Carlos placed his sword near Lando's leg, its polished surface gleaming.

“Keep that away,” Lando said, squinting.

“Move it yourself,” Carlos replied, sipping the water Lando handed him.

“You know I can’t touch the Commander General’s sword.”

Carlos rolled his eyes. He and Lando had grown up together, a friendship that puzzled many. Lando’s family had been exiled decades ago for a theft committed by his grandfather, while Carlos’s family had served as knight generals for generations.

The Sainz family had a long, storied history with the Kingdom of Zovender.

“I also brought you fish fry.”

“Aww,” Carlos’s mouth watered as Lando unwrapped the leaf pouch.

“It’s big,” Carlos said, tearing the skin and chewing eagerly.

“I got lucky today. Woke up early to catch these.”

“Mmm,” Carlos hummed, savoring the taste.

“It’s the best. You are the best. Thank you,” he said.

Lando chuckled. As the ball neared, days passed swiftly.

Carlos was polishing his armour when he heard a knock. It was late. He peeked through the window. The sky was dark, and no one was at the doorstep.

Opening the door, he found a box. He brought it inside and opened it carefully.

Inside, there was a fancy sandal shirt bearing the kingdom’s emblem, along with a matching coat. The fabric felt rich and luxurious on his fingertips. There was also a little 55 Embroidered with the emblem. 

A note was there beneath the clothes:

Wear this to the ball.

Carlos frowned. He wasn’t allowed to wear this. As a guard, he should be in full armour protecting the royal family. Who would send him this? It's stupid. 

---

Ball day arrived, Princess Zara’s birthday.

The gift room overflowed with offerings from various kings and princes. People celebrated like it was their own birthday, sharing sweets and joy.

Carlos immersed himself in his duties. Once everything was perfect, he bathed once again, wore his armour, and entered the ballroom.

He was taken aback by the final results. The golden, diamond dazzled the room. Royals from all over had come.

Carlos stood beside the king in a steady, observing stance. The scent of food drew guests toward the buffet , until the Princess arrived.

After the Soldier announced, she stepped from the shadows into the staircase light. Gasps filled the air. She wore a long crystal-embellished blue gown that made her green eyes appear blue. Her hair was in a messy braid that fitted the look. Her jewels were simple but notable. Her makeup was subtle with a touch of blush.

As all eyes fell on her, Carlos noticed a familiar figure slipping in quietly, trying not to draw attention. The person stood small but Carlos had spotted him.

Zara approached the king, who proudly greeted her. People surrounded her.

Carlos slipped away and approached the figure near the pillar.

“You should join them,” Carlos said from behind, making the person jump.

“Oh my god, Carlos.”

Carlos smiled. “Hi.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be with Zara?”

“I took a break,” Carlos replied.

“I noticed you sneaked in,” Carlos added.

The person scoffed. “Like anyone cares.”

“It’s not about who cares — it shows you're punctual and you—”

“Can you stop lecturing?” the person snapped.

“Alright! I won’t talk,” Carlos said, raising his hands.

They both watched Zara smiling at Prince Zayn.

“He’s handsome.”

Carlos turned with a smile. “That’s Prince Zayn of Al-Rainberry.”

“Rainberry? Seriously?”

“Al-Rainberry. I heard he’s a poet.”

“A prince who is a poet. It has a nice ring to it.”

“I know, right! By the way, how do you want people to address you?”

“Address me as what, Carlos?”

“A prince who is—?”

“A prince who is forgotten.” The answer was immediate.

Carlos’s face fell. His heart clenched at the words.

“Uh—I—”

“It’s fine. Everyone’s happy. I’m happy,” The prince said with a smile.

Carlos didn't reply, still processing the words.

They watched Zara blush as Zayn spoke to her.

“I think he won her,” the prince said.

“With his poems,” Carlos agreed.

The king called for attention. The room fell silent. He gave a heartfelt speech about family and gratitude. Everyone raised a glass for a toast.

“Cheers,” The prince said, noticing Carlos held no drink.

“Where’s your drink?”

“I’m not supposed to drink.”

“Boring,” the prince teased. Carlos laughed.

They noticed Zara looking around, clearly searching for someone.

“You should go,” Carlos said.

“Yes. Nice talking to you, General,” the prince replied. Carlos bowed slightly.

“Hai, Zara”

“Hello, Charles” 

Servants brought in the cake , a three-tier white creation, topped with a doll resembling Zara.

“It’s so cute,” Charles said.

“Let’s do it,” Zara smiled.

She cut the cake as the crowd cheered and sang Happy Birthday. The king stood beside her, but she turned left, offering a piece to Charles.

Charles smiled and accepted it.

“Happy birthday, My twin sister,” he said.

---

Charles watched the crowd with a polite smile. The air reeked of wine and laughter. Sweat trickled down his back.

Servants were busy. No one noticed him.

“Wanna get out?” Carlos asked from behind.

“If you continue to do this, I'm gonna have a heart attack one day,” Charles said.

Carlos chuckled and nodded toward the doorway. Charles smiled, and they slipped out.

The cold air brought welcome relief. The corridors were empty, as everyone was busy. The moonlight streamed through pillars, creating a path for them. 

They walked in silence until Charles spoke.

“Weren’t you supposed to be with my sister?”

“She’s occupied.”

“With Zayn?”

“No!” Carlos said.

“Her loss, because that man Zayn looked like a Greek god.”

“Then marry him,” Carlos teased.

“Oh! I would if he took me,” Charles winked at Carlos.

“So, you would leave? Just like that?”

“Yes! Without a doubt.”

Carlos stopped his trials. Charles didn’t notice until he was ahead. He turned back to see Carlos staring at him. When Charles raised his eyebrows, Carlos asked,

“Let me rephrase that. Would you leave me?”

Charles chuckled at how small Carlos’s voice had become. 

He had just heard Carlos yelling at the soldiers, voice heavy with testosterone. Now, it was so fragile in front of Charles.

“Don’t worry. I’ll sneak you out and take you with me.”

Carlos sighed. “You know I can’t do that.”

“Why? Because you have a family legacy to carry?” Charles said softly, knowing how much the name Sainz meant around here.

Carlos didn’t answer. So Charles said, “You don’t need validation from dead people.”

It was true. He couldn’t spend his life thinking about his family who were no more. His father had died on the battlefield, and his mother had died in brithfield. 

He never got to spend much time with either of them.

Carlos lifted his eyes to see Charles and said,

“Maybe that’s the difference between you and me.”

Charles nodded. They watched as clouds gathered over the moon, dimming its light.

“Is it gonna rain?” Charles wondered.

“Yes. Wanna go back in?” Carlos asked. When Charles shook his head, Carlos smiled and took him somewhere.

“Where are we going?” Charles asked, but followed Carlos’s horse.

“Why can’t we take one horse?” Charles asked again.

“Stop with the questions,” Carlos said.

They both rode silently. Charles had never seen his city in the dark. It was good to see the world outside the castle.

As Carlos halted his horse, Charles did the same. “Isn’t this—”

“My house. Come on,” Carlos welcomed him in. Charles smiled as he entered. 

The house wasn’t as majestic as the palace, but big enough to stand proud among the others nearby.

“I didn’t know your house was this high up on a mountain,” Charles said.

“Now you do,” Carlos replied.

Charles wandered around. The chair, the swing—everything was tidy and perfectly clean.

A strange feeling of warmth and happiness filled Charles’s heart. A glint of light caught his eyes. He squinted at first, then walked toward the source.

The window reflected something from outside. Charles was awestruck by the beautifully designed window. 

He placed his hands on the cold glass and smiled to himself when he could smell Carlos near it. Charles closed his eyes and imagined Carlos sitting there, watching the sunrise with a coffee mug in hand.

The lips that touched the mug's rim to take a sip of coffee, how lucky! Carlos’s tongue licking around his lips to savor the taste. 

The sun rays passing through his thick hair, the way he would notice the little specks of dust illuminated in the beam of ray.

Charles went delusional and saw himself walking down the stairs to find Carlos sitting by the window, shirtless. 

A smile crept on his face. He walked closer, Carlos opened his legs, and Charles settled in his lap. They leaned in to share a kiss. Goosebumps rose as Charles shook himself back to reality.

Blinking twice to clear his head, he noticed something outside. He opened the back door and saw a neat cloth laid out on the lawn. 

Wine, food, and sweets were placed neatly. The steel wine cups reflected the moonlight back at Carlos’s window.

“What—?” Charles whispered.

He turned to rush inside and confront Carlos about this, but before he could, Carlos emerged from the same back door. 

He wore a rich sandalwood-colored shirt with the kingdom’s emblem embroidered over the left side of the chest, along with a subtle “55.”

He carried a coat in one hand, posture straight.

The black pants suited him perfectly, making Carlos look younger.

Charles sucked in air, he couldn’t breathe. Carlos looked goddamn beautiful as he smiled and walked toward him.

Charles stood like a statue, gawking. Carlos hadn’t styled his hair; it was messy, and Charles itched to run his fingers through it and kiss his forehead.

“This is from you, I guess?” Carlos asked, referring to his attire.

Charles couldn’t take his eyes off him. The moonlight didn’t help, it only made Carlos glow. Charles wondered if the sun would be jealous that he couldn't see Carlos right now or make him shine better than the moon?

“Hello?” Carlos waved his hand in front of Charles.

“Yes! God, yes,” Charles blurted, turning to face the food and wine.

“Thank you. It suits me perfectly,” Carlos said, then whispered in awe, 

“It's so perfect that Makes me think you took all the measurements with your hands.”

Charles closed his eyes in embarrassment. He had stalked Carlos far too often. 

His eyes always scanned Carlos’s face first, hoping for a smile, then followed his gestures of how he spoke, ran his hands through that majestic hair.

The armor always made Carlos look bulkier, stronger, but Charles had seen him, really seen him. Not up close, but from afar, longingly. He noticed how Carlos’s shoulders and waist were delicately shaped beneath his clothes.

It was unfair that Charles couldn’t be the clothes that Carlos wore. He had memorized the way Carlos’s thighs stretched when he trained soldiers, the way his skin tensed with movement.

Charles knew Carlos’s body like a map he was never allowed to touch. How patheticly he knew about Carlos with every muscle fibres in him.

And Carlos's words echoed in his head—

“----Like you took all the measurements with your hands.”

Without ever touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin? Charles thought.

The night was dark and quiet, broken only by the sound of crickets. The stars watched as the two sat down on the cloth. It was the first time Charles had Carlos to himself after months of ball preparations. He had missed him deeply.

Now they were here, just the two of them. Charles felt confused, happy, scared, and excited all at once. He looked up, searching for the one star—

“There,” Carlos pointed. Charles followed his finger. “She’s there.”

Charles’s mother. He often mentioned she was up there, watching over him. Of course Carlos remembered. Carlos gave him the comfort that no one did since he comes out.

His father made sure to not acknowledge him in every aspect. Charles was cut off from every inheritance and slowly wiping off from everyone's memory.

Carlos was the only one to see him the same. When Charles said he's gay, Carlos chuckled and said, he's there for him no matter what.

Little did Carlos knew that he's the reason Charles understood that he's gay.

Charles took a quiet moment. Carlos started the conversation, it stayed on the surface, but it flowed. He cracked jokes, half weren’t funny, but Charles couldn’t stop laughing. Carlos always had his back as a friend… but do friends sit this close and make each other blush like this?

Carlos’s hand was near his. Charles was panicking inside, thoughts of brushing their hands together racing through his mind.

“You remember when you used to call me Cahlos?”

“I was ten,” Charles rolled his eyes.

“You still do—sometimes when you’re excited,” Carlos laughed fondly.

Charles got lost in Carlos’s soul. Time flew. He should’ve returned to the castle by now, but he couldn’t leave without asking. After calming his racing heart, he asked:

“So… what’s all this?”

Carlos handed him a wine glass.

“Celebration.”

Charles accepted it, smiling. “Celebration for what?”

Carlos didn’t answer right away. Charles’s eyes roamed the surroundings. When he looked back at Carlos, he replied:

“For you.”

Charles lowered his head in embarrassment. A howl echoed in the distance.

“Happy birthday, Charles,” Carlos said softly.

Blood rushed to Charles’s cheeks. He whispered a shy thank you, not lifting his head.

Carlos sat closer, cupping Charles’s face in his hands.

Charles cussed the weather because of the cold, Carlos wore gloves. Charles wondered how His rough hands would felt comforting against Charles’s soft skin. Charles wanted to lean in and melt into his touch.

“You are not the prince who is forgotten. You will always be the prince who stood up for himself. Who gave up everything just to be who you are.

You’ll always be the prince who chose peace and happiness over war and legacy. Charles Mark Hervé Percival Leclerc, you’ll always be the prince who was loved by me.”

—

“So you said ‘I love you’ to Charles?”

“I didn't exactly say that,” Carlos replied.

“Okay! Not exactly! But what does that mean?” Lando asked.

They were hanging out at Lando's house.

“So, where am I in this story?” Max asked.

It wasn’t just the two of them—there were four: Max and his daughter, Lily, were also there.

“Let me ask you again, why are you here?” Carlos asked.

“Lando’s drunk, and I had to drop him off. But Kelly had an important meeting, so she left Lily with me,” Max explained.

“Where is P?” Carlos asked.

“She’s with Kelly.”

Carlos nodded.

“Okay. If it's not exactly ‘I love you,’ what was it then?” Lando pressed.

“I don’t know... It was more like a friendly one?” Carlos said with uncertainty.

Max and Lando scoffed.

“What?” Carlos asked.

“Never mind. Did you text Zara?” Lando asked.

Carlos shook his head.

“I’m not that cruel.”

“To what? Dump your boyfriend on his birthday and get back together with another woman the next day?” Lando asked.

Carlos’s blood boiled.

“I loved him, you know.”

“Not enough to stay, I guess,” Lando said.

Carlos stood up. He couldn’t sit and listen to the accusations any longer.

“Carlos! She’s nearly asleep. If you keep reliving your flashback stories out loud, she’ll definitely fall asleep,” Max said from the sofa.

Carlos wanted to smack Max’s head, but seeing how sleepy Lily was, he changed his mind.

“That’s all I remember.”

“Don’t you think it’s suspicious that your nightmares stopped once you started dating Charles and reappeared after you dumped him?” Lando asked, genuinely curious.

“I’m going to figure it out,” Carlos said, and walked out of Lando’s house.

His heart felt heavy as he drove to the one person who might have the answers to everything.

Carlos checked his phone. No missed calls from Charles. Tears slipped down his face as he remembered the voice note he had left the night before. The words haunted him.

If Charles hadn’t called or texted, it meant he had listened to the voice note and backed off—or maybe he was still asleep?

With thoughts clouding his mind, Carlos parked his car in the driveway.

He opened his phone, Charles was still his wallpaper. His hand trembled, and he threw the ph

one onto the dashboard before sinking into his seat with a sigh.

That evening, Lando called him.

“So, did you find the answer?”

Carlos shook his head and replied, “I couldn’t.”

“Why?” Lando asked, knowing Carlos was already beating himself up. Still, he couldn’t resist twisting the knife.

“Maybe I loved him more than I let myself,” Carlos said in a defeated voice.

Chapter Text

Charles sat down on the floor near his bed, knees pulled up to his chest.

He had been in this position for hours. He couldn’t bring himself to stand, to process everything. He smelled bad. He hadn’t brushed. His phone lay near his feet. His eyes stared at the photo hanging on the wall.

It was the last picture he and Carlos took together at the Ferrari farewell.

Leo, curled into a ball beside Charles, whining softly, trying to comfort him.

“Here you are, I thought you left with Carl—Oh my god, what happened?” Pierre knelt beside him.

“Are you alright?” Pierre asked, seeing Charles’s bloodshot eyes and tear-flushed skin.

Charles hugged him. Pierre was confused, but hugged him back.

“He found out. He found out,” Charles cried onto Pierre’s shoulder.

“Shit. It’s okay! Hey—it’s okay.”

Leo joined the hug, and Charles couldn’t stop crying.

— — —

Carlos dumping Charles right before a triple-header only made things worse. Charles couldn’t ignore or ghost Carlos, he saw him everywhere.

In the first race, Charles coped, fueled by anger.

At the Grand Prix, they made headlines for giving each other the cold shoulder.

To save Charles from the attention, Lewis stepped in.

“It’s alright, kid. Don’t mind them,” Lewis said, taking Charles’s phone.

“It’s unfair that he still looks beautiful.”

“What’s that got to do with the breakup?” Lewis asked.

“He should be as miserable as me. He should cry, look lost, sad, and angry.”

Lewis checked the photo. “He does look lost or sad.”

Charles scoffed. “Fuck this man. Fuck this feeling of wanting him.”

Lewis gave a small, sad smile. He had found out about Charles and Carlos when they first started dating. Charles would smile nonstop while texting. Once, Lewis caught him sending a shirtless pic. Charles claimed it was a dare, but his face said otherwise.

Lewis is an ally so Charles accepted his defeat.

“Did you talk to him about it?” Lewis asked gently.

“No! I couldn’t—I shouldn’t,” Charles said, tears building.

Argh! Not in the middle of the paddock, Charles thought.

“Why do you believe that old man over your lover?” Lewis asked.

“Lover?” Charles scoffed, wiping his tears. “He dumped me.”

Lewis moved closer. “I’m sorry, kid.”

Charles shook his head, trying not to break down.

“I miss him. I fucking miss him and it’s scary.”

Lewis comforted him.

“He’ll come to his senses.”

They walked out to attend the national anthem. 

Lando approached Charles, even though Lewis tried to hold everyone back from Charles, Lando slipped passed and asked Charles, “Did you happen to talk to Carlos?”

“Go away,” Charles said. Carlos probably told Lando everything, that's why he's here to laugh at Charles. 

“I know it sucks, and I’m sorry. Really, I am.”

Charles looked at Lando. He was genuine. Charles nodded and stood upright.

“He doesn’t want to hurt you.”

“Back off, Lando,” Charles said, voice trembling.

Lando stopped when he realized how deeply Charles was affected.

“I just came to say—Zara is here today.”

And with that, Charles’s heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. A sob tried to escape, but he held it in.

It felt like déjà vu. Without a warning, tears swelled his eyes but didn't slip down. Charles made sure to hold everything inside him. His stomach clenched when he saw Carlos's dark circles under his eyes. Maybe She’s keeping him up all night.

“He’s going mental. I swear he’ll see what’s real soon,” Lando said. After the anthem, they walked away.

Charles rushed to the garage, ignoring fans, media, and other drivers.

“Stomach upset,” Lewis told the press.

Behind the closed door, Charles crumbled to the floor, sobbing. He leaned against it and cried silently, afraid someone might hear. His hands trembled as he wiped away the endless tears.

“I lost him again. I lost him again.”

The room spun. His head throbbed. The air felt toxic. He couldn’t breathe.

He stood up, strangling with the near table he picked up the water bottle. He undid the cap, he drank the water to grain some strength but as his hand trembled the half of the water spilled onto his racing suit. 

Even Lando came to talk to Charles but the man he loved didn't even check in. Carlos said ‘I love you’ to him that night. He also promised that he would love Charles right when they started dating which was ocean deep but never to keep.

Charles clenched his chest as his heart thudded against his chest fast. Charles took a deep breath trying to calm down himself from the anxiety. Even in the Ac room he felt hot. 

He stripped down the racing suit and flopped to the bed with sweat dripping down his skin. He curled himself to a ball and thought about it all.

All the pain and hurt he felt whenever Carlos chose someone over Charles. Charles let his hand draw patterns on his thighs as he thought about his other life.

Charles started at the ceiling cursing fate for gifting Carlos to him on his birthday and then ripping him off from Charles after a few hours, it's an irony in both of his lives.

With another coincidence of All too well by Taylor Swift playing on the speaker, Charles fell asleep. 

— — —

Charles and Carlos had run inside as rain hit them.

“Shit! It’s raining hard,” Charles said as they looked out the window.

“People are going to look for you,” Carlos said, knowing no one would care if Charles disappeared.

“We both know that’s a lie,” Charles laughed.

As Carlos turned on the fire lamps, he saw how wet Carlos was. His hair was damp to his forehead which is funny and cute. His shirt was soaking wet allowing Charles to stare at the muscles beneath them. 

Charles imagined Carlos pushing him against the window and kissing him. That very thought made him hard. He coughed as he tried to think of something else, not to make it too obvious.

“Wanna play some games?” Carlos asked, pulling out old board games.

They played, laughed, pushed eachother to their best level to win those games. 

“You should sleep. We’ll leave early so I can sneak you back in.”

Charles agreed. Carlos made the bed.

“Gonna guard all night?” Charles teased.

“Yes, my wife,” Carlos jokes, bowing.

“Wife?”

“You’re in my bed. What else am I supposed to say?” Carlos smiled. “I’ll sleep on the couch.” with that he closed the door. 

Charles stalked all the things in Carlos's bedroom. He let his hand roam around the things which had already touched my Carlos's hand. Charles longed to touch Carlos's hand. 

He smelled the sheets which smelled like Carlos and drifted off to sleep with peace and love. 

Next morning, Carlos sneaked him back in.

“Where were you?” His guard Pierre asked.

“With my lover.”

“Lover?”

“Yes! My knight in shining armor.”

Pierre laughed. “Does he know?”

“He’s the one who confessed.”

“The Sainz?”

“Yes,” Charles hummed. “Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run”

“Are you serious about this?”

“Yes! I’m twenty-one. My father is too busy finding a suitor for my sister. I’m running off.”

Charles was over the moon.

“You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess”

Charles continued to sing.

“Did Carlos agree to throw away his family name for love?”

Charles sang softly, “It’s a love story, baby, just say yes...”

Charles voice was slowly faded when he finished off the bridge with word ‘Yes’

Will Carlos says yes? But he said he loves Charles yesterday. 

“What do you mean?” Charles asked, confused. Carlos would do anything for me... right? Charles wondered.

He didn't think about the Sainz legacy, all he thought was Carlos would do anything for him but would he threw away his family legacy like Charles did? 

“Maybe I will ask him today” 

Pierre nodded. “Good! Because I don't want you to get hurt”

Charles scoffed and said without missing a beat “Carlos would never hurt me” 

Maybe he should’ve thought more. Because right now, he was standing beside Zara, staring at Carlos.

Charles was blushing to himself, he didn't listen to half of conversation until he heard the word ‘Marry Zara’

Charles was excited, he tore his eyes off from Carlos and looked at Zara who turned pink with the proposal.

“Wow! Who is the lucky one?” Charles thew his hands around his sister's shoulder and sqeauled with her.

His throat went dry and stomach clenched when he heard the name,

“My beloved Knight General, Carlos Sainz.”

Carlos stood straight. Zara turned pink.

Zara hid herself inside Charles' shoulder with joy. Charles' eyes widened with surprise, his heart raced with uncertainty and fear. His body went chill as his expressions fell. He felt– Charles doesn't know how to address it. But for the first time he felt betrayal. 

He looked at Carlos with longing and expecting him to reject the offer or be surprised as much as Charles but Carlos tied his hands back, chest stiffen and stood before the King.

No emotions, only duty. 

“I'm glad to have you in the family” The king and Carlos replied, “It's an honor”

Charles' lips trembled as everyone was congratulating Zara and Carlos and praising the king for this decision. Charles didn't take his eyes off from Carlos, he watched how Carlos reacted to everything. Carlos was in his full General mode. Charles tried to act cool but his heart was pounding and his blood was cold. 

He shook his leg to hide the panic. He was blinking constantly to stop the tears from slipping.

When King and Zara left the council, Charles asked, “Can I speak with you for a second?”

Carlos threw a lame excuse of he's having a lot of work. Charles's body gave up, he turned away when Carlos rejected him, he nodded without meeting Carlos's eyes and rushed to his room and cried. There must be an explanation right? There must be! If not then Charles can't take it. 

Ever since he was a kid, Charles remembers having a crush on Carlos. He even shared it with Zara when he was little. She was very supportive until he decided to come out. She started to maintain distance because his father asked her to. 

Charles understood because it's good for her to be own because ever since he said that he's not gonna marry a woman. His father was so hyped to find a suitor for Zara. He wants the wedding to happen soon before people could figure out why Charles is marrying anyone. 

Charles stopped sharing his fantasies with her. Maybe he shouldn't have done that. If not, right now Zara would have stopped the proposal. 

Charles spends the rest of the day crying and protesting that he's not gonna eat or sleep until he has a talk with Carlos. He can feel his spirit slowly leaving, he can see himself not breathing but slowly bleeding. 

The talk didn't happen sooner. It took seven days for Charles to find Carlos alone. Even then, Carlos tried to get away from Charles.

“I'm ordering you to stop whatever you are doing” Charles said with an authority tone. Carlos bowed a little to the prince the respect he deserved. 

“Why?” Was all Charles could ask. He cried for seven days, there was no energy left in him to argue. 

“I don't get it” Carlos acted innocent.

“No! No! Stop! Stop whatever you were doing because I'm done with it Carlos” Charles walked closer but Carlos stepped back.

Carlos twisted the knife deeper but Charles nodded. 

“Why did you say ‘Yes’?” Charles pressed.

Carlos looked around to find no one was there with them. “Why shouldn't I say ‘Yes’?” Carlos asked him back.

“You–” Charles took a deep breath. He's ready to get embarrassed in front of Carlos. Charles is ready to roll the stone away, they're gonna crucify him anyway. If long suffering propriety is what they want from Charles then fine! He's ready because they don't know how Carlos is haunting Charles's heart and soul.

“You said you love me” 

Carlos bit his lower lips before replying, “I have always love you”

Charles heart skipped a beat, but the spark of hope was faded when Carlos ended the sentence “As a friend” 

Charles shook his head in disbelief. “You are lying. I know you when you are lying” 

Carlos remained silent.

“You acted so well that day but I saw your eyes Carlos. They never lie. You were crushed when they asked you to marry Zara. You suffered just like me. We are in the same boat in this” 

Carlos gulped, afraid to speak.

“We are not same, Charles” 

“Why the hell not?” Charles screamed for an answer when Carlos snapped the answer Charles was broken completely.

“Because I can't throw away my legacy like you” 

Charles' breath hitched as Carlos raised his voice. 

“Carlos–” Charles stepped in front but a soldier interrupted them. One gasp and then

How did it end?

“The majesty wanted both of your presence”

“Tell him, I'm busy” Charles said, turning away to hide the pain flashing on his face.

“I'm sorry, My Lord but he insisted me to bring you along”

Charles nodded as Carlos excused himself and walked away.

After a few minutes, Charles joined the group of people who gathered in his Father's study room. Zara and Carlos were also there.

“Charles” His father addressed him.

“Your majesty,” Charles bowed.

“I want you to meet the artist ‘Max Verstappen’. He came from a long way to paint our lovely couples together” 

“And who are they?” Charles snapped.

The king ignored the bitterness in his son's voice and continued, 

“I know you have a great interest in painting. Why don't you learn something from him?” 

Charles turned to the king. He gave a sad smile and asked, “All this time, I asked you about hiring someone to teach me but you choose to do now” 

Carlos hung his head low but Charles ignored everyone and walked to Max.

“What makes you think you can teach me something?” Charles asked.

“I'm not gonna teach you anything, My Lord. I saw the paintings when I walked down the hallway, I saw your name underneath. I'm pretty sure you don't need any practice” 

Charles liked how Max appreciated his work genuinely, not because he's a prince.

“I will get my painting kit” Charles smiled at Max. 

King left the four of them alone. Max was painting from one side and Charles did the same. Carlos' eyes occasionally met Charles's green one, they both shared a silent pain. They are blind to the foreseen circumstances. They learned the right step to different dances. 

Max's eyes glanced at how both Charles and Carlos's face changed when Zara held Carlos's arms. She placed her head on his shoulder.

Charles broke a glass as he held it tight.

“Are you hurt?” Carlos rushed to him, ignoring Zara.

“I'm fine” Charles flinched away from Carlos.

“Do you wanna take a break?” Max asked.

“I said I'm fine”

“Charles, you are bleeding” Zara said.

“It's fine. I will wipe it off” Charles assured her. 

Everyone went back to what they were doing with a worried look.

In a few minutes, Charles wrapped it up. Everyone appreciated Max’s work. Charles didn't show his work to anyone. 

“Do you wanna show it to me?” Max asked.

Charles gave a polite smile and said, “Maybe some other time” 

Carlos followed Charles but Zara held Carlos's hand. “Wanna take a walk with me?”

Carlos' eyes were struck on Charles but he nodded and turned away to take a walk. 

Zara was sharing about her garden works. Carlos listened to her words. Later he asked, “Are they going to hang the painting?” 

“Yes, after showing it to the people”

“After the wedding?” Carlos asked 

“Yes, probably. Does it matter?” She placed her head on Carlos's shoulder. 

Carlos chuckled as he slipped out from her hands and said, “I should report to the king about wedding preparations” 

“Why is the groom working?” She asked.

“I'm always the Knight General before Your groom” 

She dismissed him with a smile. 

Carlos entered the Library to find The majesty and Charles having a fight.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do then?” Charles screamed.

“Forget him and leave everyone” The king said in a harsh tone.

Carlos gasped and made both the royal members turn to him. “Fine,” Charles said and left the room.

“Charles” Carlos tried but it didn't stop Charles from storming out. 

“Your majesty,” Carlos bowed.

“Ah! Carlos! Sorry for the inconvenience’

“It's Alright, My king. Is everything alright?” Carlos asked.

“Yes! It's fine. Just me and charles–” The king started but then said, “I'm thinking of taking my kids to the old castle, what do you think?” 

Carlos wasn't sure with this decision.

“Uhm- Can I ask you why?” 

The king sighed. “I think Charles is missing his mom. Maybe taking him there will get some good” 

Carlos strongly disagrees. Charles used to say that he gets nightmares from the old castle. 

“Did you discuss this with Charles?” Carlos asked carefully.

“No! That's why I want you to take him”

“Me? Why me?”

The king watched Carlos waiting for Carlos to accept the defeat. But at last the king sighed and said, “You know why”

Carlos didn't meet the king's eyes.

“Please, Make him understand that you are gonna get married” 

So he knew. 

“But he's–”

“I'm not asking you. I'm ordering you. Hope you won't let down your family's name for some fantasy” 

Is it a threat? 

“You can dismiss”