Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Todoroki Shouto - pro hero Shouto, as of the past three years - knew right away that a certain dreadful moment was finally drawing closer when he received an invitation to go out for lunch from his father via text.

Initially, he tried to decline the invitation by claiming he was far too busy with work that day to meet with him. But his father, Todoroki Enji, was technically his boss, pro hero Endeavor, and, hence, he was the one in charge of deciding his work schedule. Being too busy could not be used as an actual excuse now, and neither could he claim to already have plans made for that time slot when he had just tried to fool his father into thinking he didn’t have a moment to spare for leisure lunches. Todoroki also wasn’t all that good at lying. Finding some sort of excuse under duress only made coming up with a lie even harder.

In the end, Todoroki had no other choice but to notify the hero agency that he would be out on a lunch break with the big boss and then meet up with his father at an upscale restaurant located just a couple of streets away. Thanks to having gotten a private room for the two of them, he didn’t even have to change out of his hero costume. The whole thing stank of an elaborate trap, and Todoroki went in with his guard raised sky-high.

Their lunch began like every other meal they shared together, a bit awkward with some pleasantries and small talk, followed by uncomfortable silence as they decided on what to order. Once the dishes had been served and their assigned waitress had left the private room, the true objective of that last-minute lunch meeting was finally revealed.

“I have some files here I’d like you to read through whenever you have the time,” said Enji after having loudly cleared his throat. He grabbed a thick paper pocket folder that he had left on the empty chair next to him and placed it on top of the dining table before sliding it closer to his son. “There’s no rush or deadline to meet, but I think it’s about time you start looking more closely into it.”

“............” Todoroki silently dropped his expressionless gaze to the pocket folder. The cover had no words written on it or clues that indicated the type of files compiled inside, but he could tell right away what they were, taking into consideration what his father had just said. After a small sigh, Todoroki rested the cutlery he was holding on the sides of his plate and addressed Enji head-on. “I already told you I don’t want to have anything to do with Quirk marriages.”

“It’s a family tradition, both from my and your mother’s side of the family,” sighed Enji, already resigned to the fact that there would be some pushback from his son. “Generation after generation, all of our ancestors had arranged marriages organised by the corresponding heads of the family. This is simply how things have been done for centuries now, even before Quirks were a thing.”

“I don’t care about family traditions, I’m not go-” Todoroki continued to argue back, deadset in declining such an unreasonable, antiquated tradition no matter how many times his father tried to push him into it, but he was quickly cut off by him.

“And this isn’t a Quirk marriage,” reiterated Enji, his big, muscled body uncomfortably shifting in his seat. He, too, fully placed down his cutlery on his plate, his scarred face serious but also slightly contrite. “I now recognise that marrying someone just for the sake of mixing specific Quirks is a dangerous long-term mistake. I want to be the last one in our family to make such a bad choice. However, I still want to follow the family tradition of doing arranged marriages the old-fashioned way. That’s why I used our long-standing family connections and selected several spouse candidates who would be a good fit for you. Quirks were not taken into consideration when I was making that list, you can rest assured of that. There are even several young ladies there who are Quirkless.”

“That’s not the problem here,” nearly groaned Todoroki, already feeling very fed up with this conversation. “I don’t want any type of arranged marriage, period. Some family traditions are better off forgotten in the past rather than used and abused in modern times. What difference does it make whether I get married to someone of your choosing or don’t get married at all? I’m still going to continue being a pro hero and carry on with the family legacy. Isn’t that more than enough?”

“For now, sure, it’s working out just fine,” acknowledged Enji, despite already shaking his head in apparent dissatisfaction. He crossed his arms over his chest and tightened his stern gaze, his blue eyes closely observing his son. “But you are only in the beginning stages of your career and during a relatively calm period at that, now that the League of Villains has been dismantled and All for One is long gone. Things are bound to become a whole lot harder and busier as time goes on. Living alone and being the sole person responsible for your livelihood outside of working hours will be too much of a burden. All of those daily tasks will pile up on top of your duties as a pro hero and run you down more and more until it reaches a breaking point. And that’s when accidents happen and heroes are lost, sometimes forever. Having a wife would lessen some of those burdens, as well as give you one more reason to come back home alive once things get tough during a particularly dangerous fight or mission.”

“I make more than enough money to hire someone to look after household tasks and cooking if I ever need help with those things,” deadpanned Todoroki, verbally slaying those (admittedly very true and sensible) arguments in the blink of an eye. “Besides, I already have plenty of reasons to come back home alive. Adding one more wouldn’t make much difference.”

“You’re so stubborn…” sighed Enji under his breath, his shoulders dropping just a tiny little bit. By the expressionless yet decisive look on his son’s face, he could tell there was no use continuing this conversation right now. He wasn’t going to change Todoroki’s mind in the slightest at this point in time. “Why don’t we continue this conversation at a later time, once you’ve read all the information and the profiles of those young ladies? Think about it for as long as you need. If no one in that folder interests you, there are plenty of other candidates that haven’t been included in today’s list. If anything, there’s a long line of women your age who would love to marry you, Shouto. You can literally have your pick in this regard. So keep that in mind and make your decision, the sooner the better.”

I think I already made my decision more than clear…, Todoroki pointed out in the back of his mind. There was no use continuing to argue back and forth with his father, though; they were both equally as stubborn and far too unwilling to compromise on such a sensitive topic.

Their lunch meeting would and indeed did end in such an impasse, with Todoroki feeling quite peeved at his father for being such an old-fashioned, pig-headed geezer that shouldn’t be making such unreasonable demands of his children while also seeking to make amends with them, and with Enji grumbling under his breath about not expecting his youngest son to reach the peak of his teenage rebellion as a young adult.

It was needless to say that Todoroki would never say yes to an arranged marriage, regardless of it being because of Quirk affinity or just to gain a free houseworker. He was against it as a matter of principle - after all, he had seen firsthand how much misery and pain it could bring to those involved. But that wasn’t all there was to it. There were two other big factors as to why he was so against it.

The first one was that he didn’t want to burden his mother with even more guilt. While their relationship was now that of a regular mother and son, Todoroki could tell she still felt some guilt about her past actions - or the lack thereof, in this case. She probably believed that if she had somehow talked it through with her husband, maybe their parenting style and expectations wouldn’t have destroyed their oldest son. If she had been stronger, their second and third children wouldn’t have had to be raised separately from their other siblings. If she had been a better mother, she could have protected their youngest from those abusive training sessions and her own mental breakdown.

If Todoroki was strong-armed into an arranged marriage, would his mother also blame herself for it? Seeing as it was a family tradition that came from both his father’s and his mother’s family line, it was very likely she would feel guilty over it, yes. That was the last thing Todoroki wanted.

The final factor was a more personal one, something Todoroki had never shared with another soul. While he knew he was his own person and had broken free from a lot of generational trauma, a small part of him feared that he would one day start copying his father’s behaviour if he was ever put in the same position as him. It sounded completely ridiculous, given the type of person Todoroki was, but even so… That small doubt kept popping up whenever the topic of arranged marriages came up, gnawing at him and making him fear and abhor his future self.

With all that taken into consideration, Todoroki had long decided that he would never, under any circumstances, accept being involved in a Quirk or an arranged marriage. He was ready to fight tooth and nail to decline any such offers, whether they came from his own family or from someone else.

However, he also wasn’t all that interested in continuously being pestered with conversations like that one or sudden marriage proposals. He wanted to bury this matter as soon as possible so he could focus all of his energy on his job as a pro hero, rather than worry about being tricked into going on blind dates organised by his father or whatever else crazy schemes Enji might come up with after being told no one too many times.

Todoroki needed a concrete and permanent way out of all the arranged marriage discussions.

If he had a lover, like his older brother Natsuo had had at the time, he could have used that as some sort of leverage. Natsuo was obviously also aware of this family tradition, and the moment Enji started nagging him about arranged marriages, he managed to convince him to postpone any decisions until he graduated from university. However, on the very same day he received his college degree, Natsuo also announced he had gotten married to his then-girlfriend. That instantly destroyed all conversations of arranged marriages, and their father was forced to give up on pursuing that matter further. All in all, it had been a brilliant plan that Todoroki unfortunately could not copy, as he didn’t have a girlfriend.

He also couldn’t use the impressive feat his sister managed to come up with as a long-term solution to any and all conversations about arranged marriages. She had long graduated from university and had a very stable job as a teacher. Initially, she had plans to quit and work in a different field, but she soon changed her mind and started working anew at a local elementary school. Given the nature of her job, she claimed she did not want to get married and would instead spend the rest of her life raising and teaching the children of others, which would indirectly fulfil her ‘duties’ as a woman. There were a few complaints about it at first, but their father eventually gave up on it and let her pursue her life plans with his full support. Seeing as Todoroki was a pro hero and had no plans to become a teacher of any sort, he would also not be able to use a similar strategy.

But then, what else could Todoroki do to free himself from such a sticky, complicated situation?

Should I lie and say I’m already dating someone?, wondered Todoroki to his own buttons as he casually walked around downtown, as per his afternoon patrol route. Yes, he could lie and pretend he was dating someone, but again, he wasn’t very good at lying. He probably would get caught very fast. And if he didn’t, he would eventually get backed against the wall once his father started pestering him to meet his so-called girlfriend.

Such thoughts soon changed into wondering if he could get someone to pretend to be his lover temporarily, just until he found a different way to escape that cursed family tradition.

But such a plan also had several drawbacks. If he asked a woman to pretend to be his girlfriend, she would get roped into a quite dramatic family feud. Involving an innocent bystander in such a problematic situation didn’t sit all that well with Todoroki, especially since he had no way to predict how she would react to his father’s unreasonable demands and old-fashioned ways, or even what his father would force that poor woman to do to be accepted into the Todoroki family. There was also the possibility of his fake girlfriend falling in love with him for real at some point and then wanting to turn their pretend relationship into an official one, which would be just as, if not even more, problematic than an arranged marriage…

Yeah, asking or paying someone to pretend to be my girlfriend would definitely be a bad idea… I think…, concluded Todoroki in the back of his mind, trusting this gut feeling he was having and pushing that plan into his mental trash can. He sighed, “But if I can’t pretend I already have a girlfriend, then what exactly could I-”

His ongoing inner turmoil was suddenly interrupted by the violent sound of a loud explosion. A few passersby walking past him ducked down and protected their heads, thinking debris or broken glass was about to fall on them. Fortunately, whatever it was that caused that blast was somewhat contained to the detonation area only, and so that portion of the downtown ended up being relatively damage-free.

But that didn’t mean Todoroki could just leave it be. He promptly switched into serious mode and used his Quirk to rush towards the area where the explosion occurred. As luck would have it, Todoroki didn’t have to travel too far. In a matter of minutes, he was staring down at a familiar entity - who he supposed had been the instigator of the explosion - and a poor soul quaking in his boots, despite not seeming all that inclined to give up just yet.

“Baku- I mean, Dynamight,” Todoroki called out, fumbling his words a little bit out of habit of using one name over the other.

“Huh? ‘The heck are you doing here?” growled Bakugou Katsuki - aka pro hero Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight -, his face crooked with a raging frown. He was currently grabbing a shabby, dishevelled man by the collar of his scorched shirt. “I’m almost done dealing with this piece of shit. I don’t need any backup.”

“C-C’mon, don’t be like that. The least you could do is hear me out until the end!” That man tried to reason, his arms gesturing around emphatically. “All it takes is a single glance to know you’re on the wrong side! You are a natural-born villain, my guy! Even your hero name is a dead giveaway! ‘Great Explosion Murder God’? Yeah, that’s the coolest villain name I’ve heard in my whole life!!! With you as our leader, we’d conquer the whole world in record time!”

“Shut up, the adults are busy talking right now!” hissed Bakugou, stuffing his hard, pointy knee guard on the man’s lower abdomen in an attempt to silence him. Once the man was whimpering in pain, he turned his focus back to Todoroki. “Where were we? Oh, right. He’s as good as arrested. You can leave. I’ll be just fine waiting on my own for the police to come and drag his sorry ass to jail.”

“Right,” deadpanned Todoroki, briefly glancing at the whining man before he returned his gaze to Bakugou and his frowning face. “I see you’re still the same villain magnet of always.”

“Fuck off!” Bakugou yapped back in retaliation, giving a quick kick to the man’s limp leg as a way to release some stress and bottled-up anger. “It’s not my fault these morons are not only stupid but also blind and delusional to boot. The only god damned silver lining in this is that they all come to me on their own, rather than me having to hunt them down one by one.”

“W-We can’t help it, okay…?” stammered the man, his voice strained and weakened by pain. Nevertheless, his eyes remained steadfast and determined, like he was willing to sacrifice himself so long as he managed to accomplish his objective. “Y-You are like a beacon to this new age. You represent everything that the villains of the old age were lacking, from your Quirk to the way you carry yourself. Those on my side can see it. And I bet those on that side see it too. T-There’s a reason why you can’t climb higher than number 5 in the Hero Billboard, yeah? They will never give the spotlight to someone meant to be the leader of all villains, even if you are undisputably the strongest pro hero in this entire country. Don’t think having a clean record and zero scandals to speak of will give the world a better impression of you. If anything, having such a pure white reputation since you went pro only makes you look even shadier. No one knows anything about your private life, no believable rumours are being spread around, and no journalist or paparazzi has been able to dig up any sort of information on you aside from what you do during your working hours. Heh, all of that makes people stop and think… ‘Just what kind of illegal, backhanded tricks has he been using to keep himself this pristine? He definitely has to be hiding something dark behind his saintly façade.’ Hehehe, poor you, Dynamight! Being the strongest and yet ending up hated because of that strength! But don’t worry! Me and my brothers and sisters will welcome you in the underworld with arms wide-”

“I told you to shut up already, you fucking asswipe!” growled Bakugou, this time going all out with his next strike. The moment he hit the side of the man’s neck, his body went completely limp as he lost consciousness. Bakugou simply clicked his tongue and let him drop to the ground, removing a pair of handcuffs from a pocket to get this criminal restrained while he couldn’t fight back or struggle. As he did so, he kept grumbling under his breath, “These delusional assholes sure like to yap away… I’m getting sick and tired of hearing the same dumb story every single time these fucking morons want to recruit me or whatever…”

“You seem to be having it hard,” said Todoroki, sympathising quite a bit with his former classmate’s struggles. He had to agree that one of the hardest aspects of being a pro hero was public perception. Bakugou had his cards set against him when it came to captivating public attention and affection, as he did indeed look more like a villain than a hero as he raged around and exploded with stuff. His aggressive personality and tendency to cuss with very colourful terms also didn’t help much.

“I’m used to it already,” grumbled Bakugou after clicking his tongue in annoyance a second time. He dusted off his gloved hands and then got back up from his crouched position, always keeping the man he had captured under his gaze as a precaution. “What I can’t get used to is being constantly approached by these douchebags. Fucking hell, they are such a pain in the ass…! I’m starting to think maybe I should fabricate some sort of scandal or something just to look more ‘normal’, whatever that even means.”

“Fabricate a scandal…?” repeated Todoroki, one of his eyebrows arching slightly in surprised puzzlement. That sort of thing was something he had never expected to hear coming out of Bakugou’s mouth.

Despite his evil appearance and gremlin-like personality, Bakugou was actually the least ‘problematic’ of this new generation of heroes. Plenty of corrupt or half-hearted pro heroes had been arrested or quit their jobs during the bloody war against the League of Villains, and the new version of the Hero Public Safety Commission had made sure to pay very close attention to those who remained in the hero business and the new folks dipping their toes in it. It was now a whole lot harder to become a sidekick, let alone a proper pro hero. But that didn’t mean that those working in the pro hero trade didn’t mess up every now and then. They were only human, after all.

That’s why it was quite common for scandals and rumours to surface every other week, much like it happened in the celebrity universe. Todoroki himself had a few of them already, as anytime he was seen in public with a woman, whether she was a colleague or simply an acquaintance, rumours and news articles immediately started creating a whole romance novel out of it. There was no truth to it, however, so they all eventually faded away after trending online for a couple of days. Some of his former classmates had also been caught ‘red-handed’ for a myriad of other reasons, like Mineta having several accusations of sexual harassment, or Hagakure being labelled as an undercover spy for villains due to being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Todoroki didn’t remember ever having heard of any scandals related to Bakugou, and the few rumours floating around about him were all based on hasty perceptions of his outward appearance and personality or things that had happened when he was still a high school student. He also kept his private life fully under wraps, to the point that only his family and closest friends knew about what he did outside of his working hours. The paparazzi constantly following him around to ‘catch him in the act’ hadn’t even figured out where he lived yet, such was his success in separating work from leisure.

“Yeah, like coming up with a stupid but plausible story and then feeding it to the press or to one of those professional stalkers that make Izuku look like a newb,” scoffed Bakugou with a dismissive shrug of his shoulders. “Anyway, get going already before the cops show up. I don’t want people to think I needed help to deal with this weakling.”

“............” Albeit Todoroki heard every single word Bakugou had just spat out, his brain was too busy focusing on a different aspect of their conversation to actually process them and act accordingly.

Todoroki wanted to permanently get rid of all conversations and plans for an arranged marriage imposed by a family tradition. Bakugou wanted to fabricate a scandal to get a break from villain recruitment attempts once and for all.

Didn’t that mean their current goals and needs were aligned perfectly?

Todoroki would be able to get a fake lover who could deal with his father’s unreasonable demands without breaking a sweat, and Bakugou would be able to fabricate the scandal of a lifetime in a way that didn’t negatively impact his reputation or job status.

Before he even fully noticed what he was doing, Todoroki grabbed Bakugou’s arm, not too strongly but still tightly enough to hoard all of his coworker’s attention and suspicion. His thoughts, his expressionless demeanour, and his whole body had gone into autopilot as he got more and more onboard with that sudden genius idea. It all culminated in him blurting out the most shocking line of his entire life.

“Bakugou, will you marry me?” said Todoroki without missing a beat, his face fully void of expressiveness. His mismatched eyes shone bright with gravity and sincerity, however, indicating that he had meant what he had just said and was not trying to pull a silly prank on his former classmate.

Bakugou’s response was the expected, absolutely flabbergasted “Huh?” that anyone in his shoes would utter without thinking straightaway.

Chapter Text

“So? What kind of dumb Quirk were you affected by this time?” asked Bakugou at long last, after being made to wait hours on end until the conclusion of his shift. He was currently inside a private booth in a little izakaya shop he was familiar with, accompanied by Todoroki, who fortunately was working the same shift as him that day.

“Hm? I haven’t been affected by any Quirk?” pointed out Todoroki, his head slightly tilted to the left in a clear display of confusion.

“I call bullshit! Why else would you ask me to marry you!?” hissed Bakugou, hitting his fist on the low table they were sitting at before accusingly pointing with his finger right at Todoroki’s face. “If it’s not a Quirk, then you really need to go to the hospital ASAP! You must have a fuckin’ brain tumour or one nasty concussion!!”

“I’m pretty sure I don’t have either,” deadpanned Todoroki, leisurely taking a sip of his drink. Since he was provided with such a convenient opportunity, he wanted to have a proper conversation with Bakugou to discuss what had actually happened and, hence, he had simply ordered some soda rather than the more appropriate alcoholic beverage, given their current location. Once he placed his glass back down, Todoroki couldn’t help the small sigh that exited his lips. “It’s a long story, but I’d really appreciate it if you could listen to it from start to finish first.”

“I feel like leaving already…” groaned Bakugou, his sixth sense screaming at him that listening to Todoroki would get him involved in one hell of a sticky situation. However, both his pride and his curiosity wouldn’t allow him to just up and leave just like that after being the one who basically grabbed Todoroki from his hero agency and then dragged him all the way to this izakaya. He let out a long, tired sigh and then placed his elbow on the table, resting his face on his open hand. “Go on, I guess…”

“To sum it up, my family has this annoying tradition of organising arranged marriages, and my father has started pestering me about it,” explained Todoroki, his whole body straightening up to a more proper seiza sitting position on his cushion. Despite the nearly completely expressionless demeanour of his face, his voice sounded particularly fed up with the situation he was narrating. “I don’t want to do it, not now, not ever, so I figured marrying you would be a good way to turn down any arranged marriage requests from now on and, hopefully, for the rest of my life.”

“Okay, if it’s a long story, then make it long, don’t try to summarise it with your Pulitzer-worthy speaking skills!” groaned Bakugou yet again, his voice dripping with sarcasm and exasperation. “Also, what the hell do I have to do with your stupid family traditions? If you don’t wanna get married, then don’t get married!”

“You know how my father is. If saying no was enough, I wouldn’t be here having this conversation with you,” pointed out Todoroki, his gaze momentarily dropping to his glass. He wasn’t a big fan of dragging other people into his family issues, but since this could be mutually beneficial for them, he felt inclined to make an exception for this proposal. “That’s why I figured I would be better off faking some sort of relationship with someone of my choosing. But, again, you know how my father is. Asking or paying a woman to pretend to be my girlfriend would probably… no, definitely end very badly. It needs to be someone who can easily deal with my father and his unreasonable demands.”

“Right. But why me specifically?” asked Bakugou, an eyebrow arched in puzzlement. “I’m pretty sure there are several of our former classmates who would fit that role way better than I ever could. Can’t you go ask Uraraka or Yaoyorozu to pretend to be your girlfriend for a while or something?”

“I mean, weren’t you saying you wanted to fabricate a scandal to get rid of those villains constantly asking you to join their side?” explained Todoroki, earnestly looking at Bakugou with his head slightly tilted - something that strangely made him look like a large, goofy dog begging his owner for some treats or to go out for a walk, as far as Bakugou was concerned. “Well, I can be your scandal. You get to be the talk of the town in a way that doesn’t affect your reputation or puts your job at risk, and I get to avoid an arranged marriage orchestrated by my father. It’s win-win for both of us, right?”

“..................” Bakugou opened his mouth to say something, but he then found himself questioning what exactly he was trying to express in the first place. Sure, he had indeed said he wanted to fabricate a scandal, but he meant it more as a vent than a proper scheme that he was seriously considering. After all, there were several different things he could do before he was forced to play such a hit-or-miss card.

Having Todoroki phrase this give-and-take proposal in such a way was making him change his mind on it, however. A sudden marriage announcement undoubtedly was the sort of positive scandal that could make a hero seem more ‘normal’, like they were a regular person just living their life and following the exact same steps and stages as everyone else. It would also quell those pointed whispers accusing him of hiding some dark secrets just because he kept his private life far away from the public eye. Plus, seeing as homosexual relationships were fairly common and well-received in modern times, there would be hardly any issue with them publicly disclosing they had gotten married.

All in all, there were next to zero downsides to Todoroki’s crazy yet fitting proposal.

“......Do we really need to get married, though?” Bakugou asked with a certain reluctance after a long stretch of total silence to digest everything that was at stake here. Those words that had just gotten out of his mouth already felt awfully foreign to him, but the fact that he was actually considering accepting such a deal was what baffled Bakugou the most. Maybe he also needed to be checked by a doctor for any brain tumours or concussions…

“If we say we’re just dating, I’m pretty sure my father will try to find a way to break us up by deceiving me into going on blind dates or by sending me on extended missions on the opposite end of the country,” deadpanned Todoroki, feeling a bit cynic when it came to thinking up all the different methods his father could use to sabotage their so-called relationship. “Getting married makes it official in an undisputed way. Plus, it will be a pretty convenient excuse for you. You can say this relationship is why you’ve been keeping your private life a secret from the public all of these years.”

“Ugh, that’s true…” conceded Bakugou after a half-hearted, annoyed groan. If they just randomly announced they were married without showing any proof of them first dating, people would start suspecting that it was all a lie. But if they used Bakugou’s secret private life as an excuse as to why the public didn’t know about their relationship and vice versa, they might be able to fool everyone into just accepting it as is. “Going all out at the start might also be the best way to milk a scandal for all its worth…”

“Does that mean you’re going to accept my proposal?” asked Todoroki, his expressionless face gaining a bit more emotion and energy. For some reason, the possibility of Bakugou saying ‘yes’ to his plan was making him feel weirdly happy and excited. It was probably only because he felt so relieved about the prospect of escaping that cursed family tradition of arranged marriages, though…

“Don’t start getting all gung-ho about it already, Half-and-Half Bastard,” said Bakugou, his gaze tightening into a frown out of the blue. “First things first, we need to make a clear, concise plan about it that includes all details and objectives. Unlike you, I don’t half-ass anything that I do. I go for perfection and first place, always. We also need to decide how far we’re willing to go and agree on a timeline.”

“So you are going to accept my proposal,” concluded Todoroki, ignoring completely his coworker’s tsundere-ish retorts and grumbles. He did, however, agree that they needed to plan this really well or they would eventually get caught by someone who wasn’t meant to know about any of this. “So long as we get married through the official channels, I don’t have any other goals or demands. I just want my father to give up on making me do an arranged marriage. As for a timeline… I wasn’t planning on dating anyone, let alone getting married, while working as a pro hero. We can stay married for as long as you want and then get a divorce or something once you’re done with your side of the deal. By that time, I should have come up with a different way to block the arranged marriage family tradition for good.”

“Dating and marriage weren’t in my life plans in the first place either, so I couldn’t care less about being in a marriage of convenience for a few years or however long we’ll need,” declared Bakugou with a quick shrug. He lifted his head from the hand he had been resting it at and then crossed his arms over his chest. “Since both of us are in agreement about that, it’s just a matter of fine-tuning it to our regular lives. I like my daily schedule as it is, and I don’t wanna change it too much.”

“You also live on your own, right?” asked Todoroki, trying to remember if he even knew where Bakugou lived. Since nothing came to mind, he had probably never gone there, which sounded valid considering the type of relationship he had with Bakugou. They weren’t necessarily close friends, but they had known each other for long enough and worked together enough times to be far more than simple coworkers or acquaintances. “We could rent a place big enough for both of us to live together without constantly stepping on each other’s toes. Like when we lived in the school dorm, basically. That would also give the impression of us being newlyweds.”

“Agreed. Don’t think I’m gonna cook for and clean after you, though. I ain’t a live-in housekeeper,” scoffed Bakugou, despite nodding his head in assent. “With our salaries combined, we can easily find a nice place that is close to both of our hero agencies. My only requirements for it are my own bedroom and bathroom. I also want to design the kitchen personally, since I need it to be up to my high standards.”

“Deal,” Todoroki concurred with a single nod. He was currently renting an apartment, in which he had been living alone for close to two years now. Breaking the lease midway through its contract would be a bit of a pain in the ass, but it was a small headache he was willing to tolerate. The other thing that might be a bit of a headache was… “Now for the wedding itself and the announcement…”

“There’s no way in hell we’re having a wedding ceremony of any kind. It’s courthouse only or I’m out,” vehemently declared Bakugou, the stern glint in his eyes a testament to how serious he was about it. Fortunately, both of them were on the same page about that aspect of their deal, too.

“Yeah, I also prefer it that way. It would be a waste of money and time to do something big,” agreed Todoroki, feeling quite relieved about that response. Not that he actually thought Bakugou was the kind of man who wanted to go all out with his wedding or anything, mind you. “But I do think we probably should take some days off at the same time after signing the paperwork. Rather than focus on a wedding, we can make a big show out of moving in together. That would make it easier to control the narrative and show the journalists and paparazzi only what we want them to see.”

“That’s not a bad idea, actually. It would give me enough time to get my new kitchen fully operational and running exactly to my liking,” said Bakugou, giving that suggestion in particular a bit more thought. “Besides, I’m pretty sure those professional stalkers will drive me nuts with all of their questions and whatnot. I could use a break from them, too, without having to also worry about work.”

“We can always go somewhere as a ‘honeymoon’ if they start being too annoying,” added Todoroki after a small sigh. Thanks to his past scandals, he knew full well how persistent certain journalists and paparazzi could be while chasing trending news. Both of them were fairly famous pro heroes, constantly showing up in the news due to their victorious fights against villains since the time they were high school students. The entire mass media world was guaranteed to be turned upside down the moment they made the marriage announcement, not to mention the explosive impact it would have on all sorts of social media.

“Let’s keep that as a backup plan for now…” grumbled Bakugou, his body fidgeting just a little bit as he tinkered with his cold, humid glass. “The next question is the big reveal and how we should go about it. I mean, it would be a terrible idea to spring this up out of the blue on everyone, right? Ugh, my old hag would definitely skin me alive if I got married behind her back…”

“I think it’s fine to tell the truth to the people we trust,” said Todoroki, trying his best not to chuckle at Bakugou’s shuddering reaction to his mother’s possible overreaction. “You can tell your parents this is just a fake marriage or part of a special mission.”

“Oh yeah, I’m definitely gonna tell them the truth or else I would spend the rest of my life hearing snarky comments and digs from that wench,” scoffed Bakugou. He knew his mother would never let him live it down if he kept this a secret from her, even if said marriage was nothing more than a way out of certain issues they currently had. “We should also tell our morons the truth. Who knows what they might babble about to other people if they think we’ve been secretly dating this whole time… It’s best to keep them up-to-date with this whole plan than to see it being ruined by their lack of brain cells and loose lips.”

“That’s true,” said Todoroki with a quick nod. He couldn’t help but wonder how Midoriya would react once he told him he was going to marry his childhood friend and lifelong bully. His friend would probably have a heart attack if that announcement wasn’t followed by ‘everything I just told you is part of an elaborate plan for me to escape an arranged marriage and for Bakugou to stop being headhunted into villainy’. Just the thought of that brought a smile to his lips, which was his best attempt at not outright laughing all on his own. To distract himself from such amusing thoughts, Todoroki added, “I think I’ll tell my mother, sister and brother about it too. Both Fuyu-nee and Natsu-nii enacted their own plans to escape the arranged marriage tradition. I’m sure they’ll be a huge help in deceiving my father.”

“Oh yeah? What did they do?” snorted Bakugou, his lips twisting into a mischievous smirk. Creating evil little schemes to avoid arranged marriages was the sort of family tradition he was on board with, so he grabbed his drink and started sipping it while he waited for Todoroki to spill the beans.

“Natsu-nii convinced my father to pause all plans until he was done with college, and then announced he had married his girlfriend on the day he got his college degree,” explained Todoroki, which gained him a pleased and slightly smug cackle from the devilish gremlin known as Bakugou Katsuki. “Fuyu-nee said being a teacher and helping raise the children of others would be more than enough in terms of accomplishing her ‘duties’ as a woman. She doesn’t plan on getting married ever, either way, so it was that or nothing.”

“Heh, those two must have split all the smart brain cells between themselves and left you with just the dense ones,” mischievously giggled Bakugou, inwardly giving his seal of approval to those two siblings and, apparently, future in-laws. “Though I guess I can see why you couldn’t just go ahead and copy their escape methods. You don’t have a girlfriend, and you aren’t working as a teacher either.”

“Yeah. And since I’m the last one, I’m sure my father will be even more pushy and desperate to make me do it and keep that family tradition alive,” sighed Todoroki, his shoulders dropping just a little bit. His excitement died down a fraction and was replaced by annoyance as he remembered how his lunch with his father had gone. “Today he gave me this thick folder filled with detailed information on a bunch of women who are willing to get married to me…”

“I can’t tell if you’re bragging or complaining,” snorted Bakugou with a dismissive roll of his eyes. Todoroki had gone full deadpan mode as he grumbled that. Had Bakugou not had any context to go along with it, it would be a 50/50 chance which way those words should be interpreted. But seeing as he was begging Bakugou to marry him instead, the intense dissatisfaction buried deep inside that monotone voice was easy to see. “Nah, never mind. You’re picking a fake marriage with me over every single one of those chicks dying to get in your pants. Endeavor must have terrible taste in women, hehehe. No offence to your mother, by the way.”

“My grandparents were the ones who arranged for them to get married, so none taken,” deadpanned Todoroki, not even thinking twice about dismissing Bakugou’s sarcastic remarks as something not all that important. In all honesty, he hadn’t opened the pocket folder yet, so he couldn’t say whether his father had done a good job at selecting his prospective brides or not. But that was beside the point.

“Alright, I think we’ve pretty much covered all the main bases already,” said Bakugou as a way to get them to focus on the important stuff once again rather than keep on bashing good old Endeavor. “When are we doing this? I don’t have any important missions slotted for the next couple of weeks, but who knows what those morons that are trying to recruit me will do next. What’s your current schedule li-”

“Tomorrow,” declared Todoroki out of the blue, once again adjusting his sitting position so his back was as straight as an arrow and as formal as if he were truly asking for Bakugou’s hand in marriage.

“...Huh?” That was all Bakugou managed to blurt out at first, thinking he must have misheard something since they had both spoken at the same time. But nope, sadly he hadn’t.

“Let’s do it tomorrow,” repeated Todoroki once again, perhaps due to having misunderstood Bakugou’s flabbergasted expression as an indication he hadn’t understood what that ‘tomorrow’ stood for. “The courthouse is open from Monday to Friday, right? Tomorrow is Friday so let’s do it tomorrow.”

"WHAT!?"

Chapter Text

“Ugh, I’m so damn tired…” groaned Bakugou as he closed his apartment’s front door. After removing his shoes and putting on his slippers, he pretty much dragged his feet to the living room and kitchen area. He was no longer in the mood to do anything, so he simply set his belongings on the kitchen counter and went to wash up and change.

His conversation with Todoroki had been riddled with shocking bombs, most of which were dropped on him without any warning, leaving him at the very least mentally drained from the rollercoaster of emotions after talking it through with him for well over two hours.

In the end, Bakugou wasn’t able to change Todoroki’s mind about going to the courthouse tomorrow and getting their marriage officially registered the day after they made this deal. The main reason for it was that they should act as soon as possible so as to not raise any suspicions. If they took too long to make their first definitive move, Todoroki’s father would probably think they were scheming something so that his son wouldn’t have to go through with the arranged marriage.

Since Todoroki was so determined to act before his father initiated round 2 of their feud over family traditions, Bakugou couldn’t even try to reason with him that courthouse visits were done through scheduled appointments, and they couldn’t just show up there whenever they felt like. He thought such an argument would make Todoroki slow down his rushed timeline, but Todoroki then threw him a curveball by claiming he’d pull some strings and arrange an appointment at their local courthouse for tomorrow.

Bakugou remained sceptical of that until Todoroki’s smartphone rang halfway through their intense discussion. When Todoroki showed the message to Bakugou, he saw there a date and a time for tomorrow with the words ‘marriage registration’ preceding them. He still had no idea what sort of strings he had pulled in a matter of minutes, but the fact that it had worked was indisputable, much to his annoyance.

So, all in all, Bakugou and Todoroki would be going to the courthouse to officially register their fake marriage tomorrow afternoon. The rest of their deceitful master plan would be implemented afterwards and a whole lot more slowly, as it was far too complicated to rush finding a new apartment and then moving there while also juggling their busy work schedules.

Still, that leaves me only less than half a day to explain the situation to everyone who needs to be aware of the truth, tiredly sighed Bakugou in the back of his mind as he exited his bedroom, now clothed in the casual wear he wore whenever at home. Even just a few hours of advance warning would save him a lifetime of hearing his mother crack stupid jokes at him for getting married in secret. However, that didn’t mean the conversation itself would be any easier, whether it came before or after his courthouse wedding with Todoroki.

“Argh, let’s get something to eat before I get started with that freakin’ headache of a conversation…” grumbled Bakugou under his breath as he stomped to the kitchen. He still wasn’t in the mood to cook anything, so he just grabbed some leftovers from yesterday’s dinner and heated them up in the microwave after neatly plating them. To those who didn’t know better, they would have thought Bakugou had just spent a few hours painstakingly preparing a gourmet meal for himself.

He then carried the plates to the low table in front of his sofa rather than the dining table. Once everything was set to his liking, Bakugou turned on the TV, intending to catch up on the latest news while eating his dinner. That’s when he noticed what time it was.

“Crap, wasn’t I supposed to have that stupid video call meetup with those idiots tonight…?” mumbled Bakugou as he was forced to get up from the sofa and return to the kitchen counter, where he had left his smartphone. Since it was on silent mode, he hadn’t noticed the buttload of messages and notification he had been receiving the past few minutes. “Ugh, I guess one of the conversations is about to go down…”

Feeling twice as moody now, Bakugou stomped back to the sofa and dropped his tired body in the soft cushions. He quickly opened the app that he and his friends usually used for group video calls and then placed his phone on the table in front of him, perfectly angled and aligned on a stand so the front camera could catch him. As soon as his account went online, Bakugou got an invitation to join an ongoing video call.

“Bakugou! You’re finally here!” cheered Kirishima, his arms raised up in the air in celebration.

“We were starting to think you were either bailing on us or had forgotten about our long-distance meetup,” chuckled Kaminari, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“See? I told you spamming him with messages would do the trick,” proudly declared Sero, his chest slightly puffed out. “The best way to summon our beloved powder keg is to annoy him nonstop!”

“That’s also the best way to get punched in the face the next time we see each other in person…” nearly growled Bakugou, one of his eyebrows twitching with that annoyance they purposely had sent his way, by the looks of it. “And yeah, I was so busy today, I completely forgot about it until I saw what time it was on the TV. You spamming me with messages had nothing to do with it, you geniuses!”

“C’mon, don’t sweat the little details. The most important thing is that we’re all here now!” said Kaminari, dismissing his friend’s complaints with a goofy wave of his hand.

“What got you so busy, though?” asked Kirishima in an attempt to steer the conversation to less tempestuous waters. “You don’t have any big missions planned for the next couple of weeks, right?”

“Yeah, but I guess now I kinda have one last-minute mission of some sort going on…” grumbled Bakugou, the frown on his face deepening but, at the same time, also becoming visibly less angry. “I’m getting married tomorrow, it seems.”

Both Kaminari and Sero simultaneously spit the beverages they were sipping the moment those words left Bakugou’s mouth. Kirishima hadn’t been eating or drinking anything at the time, so his jaw simply dropped to the floor without a single sound. That mix of coughing and flabbergasted silence was soon replaced with something far noisier, however.

“””What!?””” The three of them yelped nearly at the same time, with Kirishima even grabbing his phone to bring the screen closer to himself.

“W-What do you mean you’re getting married tomorrow!?” sputtered Kirishima, panic and shock blending in his face, which was already getting pretty distorted in the video by the nervous shaking of his hands.

“How the heck are you getting married tomorrow!?” asked Kaminari next, so confused by that sudden announcement that he was starting to wonder if maybe he was having some sort of lucid dream or a hallucination. Everything he had been drinking was non-alcoholic due to tomorrow’s work shift so he couldn’t be drunk right now…

“Never mind that! Who are you even getting married to???” Came Sero next, his eyes as round and big as saucers as he hurriedly wiped the wet table with a napkin. “As far as we know, you’re not dating anyone right now or, like, EVER!”

“Exactly! Who the heck have you been boning behind our backs!?” demanded Kaminari, clasping and shaking his smartphone in place of grabbing Bakugou by his shoulders and shaking him around a bit so he’d tell them the truth.

“Can you guys calm down and shut up for a few minutes so I can finish what I was saying?” sighed Bakugou while rolling his eyes in exasperation. This reaction they were having was exactly why they needed to be kept updated about his fake marriage deal with Todoroki from start to finish. Once they had quietened a little bit and were nervously staring at their screens, Bakugou continued, “I just said I got roped into a last-minute mission, didn’t I? I’m not getting married for real, it’s all part of the plan. Once our goal has been accomplished, you can bet we’re getting divorced faster than you can sing the ABC.”

“What kind of crazy mission would even involve getting married to someone?” asked Kirishima, surprisingly feeling even more confused now that Bakugou was explaining whatever that was supposed to be.

“Ugh, it’s a long story, but to sum it up, Todoroki wants to escape this arranged marriage he’s being forced into, and I wanna fabricate a scandal to get rid of those pests constantly asking me to become their new villain boss, so we’re temporarily teaming up to sort out those two things once and for all,” explained Bakugou as he rubbed his temple with the pads of his fingers. These back-to-back pain in the ass conversations were starting to give him a splitting headache…

“Wait, you’re getting married to Todoroki!? As in, Todoroki, our former classmate and your eternal rival for the number one spot!?” yelped Kaminari, so shocked about this unexpected plot twist that he had no idea if he should pick up his jaw from the floor first or pinch himself to figure out once and for all if he was dreaming or not.

“Who the hell are you calling my eternal rival!? I’ve proved to the whole damn world time and time again that I’m far superior to him in pretty much every single metric!” scoffed Bakugou, beyond offended to be accused of such a farfetched thing. “Our goals are fully aligned when it comes to these two problems, so we’re gonna use each other to solve them for good. What’s wrong with that!?”

“There’s nothing wrong with it per se but…” hesitantly mumbled Kirishima, his hand awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s just that this is so out of left field, I still can’t believe this isn’t some sort of elaborate prank or a crappy joke,” said Sero, probably matching perfectly what Kirishima was trying to convey by the way he was nodding his head along. “...It’s not actually a prank or a joke, right?”

“Believe me, part of me still hopes it was,” snorted Bakugou, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “But nope, we’re getting married for real. We literally have an appointment booked at the courthouse for tomorrow afternoon.”

“Damn… Who would have thought the Top Two would also nab the two first spots in the ‘Which Student of Class A will get Married First?’ race…” marvelled Kaminari, his voice solemn as he slowly nodded his head, arms crossed over his chest. Five seconds later, he, Kirishima and Sero burst out laughing out loud, with Kaminari even bending over the table and tapping his hand on it non-stop. “Buwahahahahaha! This is freaking hilarious! Ahahahaha! Todoroki and Bakugou getting married… because of a team-up they’re organising on their own…! Ahahahahahaha!”

“Holy shit, this is funnier than those sitcoms we used to watch together at the dorm!” said Sero in between snorts and long bouts of uncontrollable laughter. “We gotta share this 'wonderful news’ with the rest of the class! Also, when’s the ‘wedding ceremony’? I need to make sure I’m free that day and that my camera is fully charged! Pfft, ahahahahaha!”

“I hope you’re having me as your ‘best man’!” giggled Kirishima, wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his fingers. “Just give us a date and I’ll be sure to travel all the way there from Osaka to help you organise everything. Will you also need some extra help while you two are away on your ‘honeymoon’? I can ask Fat Gum to temporarily transfer me over there to keep your territory safe and sound from those guys trying to recruit you while you two are living it up as ‘newlyweds’!”

“You guys are so fuckin’ childish,” groaned Bakugou with an annoyed roll of his eyes. He picked up his phone from the stand and then added, “You know what’s up already, so be sure to not blow our cover once we go public with our fake marriage. If anyone asks you about us, just pretend you knew about it this whole time or whatever. But be warned… Say the wrong thing to the journalists, and you will be the first ones I’ll take down once I join the fucking underworld!!!”

With that threat spewed with a metric tonne of repressed anger, Bakugou ended his connection to that group video call and logged out of the app altogether. He was still fuming mad when he slammed his smartphone on the table, grabbed his dinner and turned up the volume of the TV once again.

“Seriously, those guys are such walking menaces… If they weren’t such a huge liability, I wouldn’t have told them anything myself and would have left all of that work in Half-and-Half Bastard’s hands, since he’s the one rushing the whole marriage thing…” grumbled Bakugou under his breath as he shovelled food into his mouth. Not even five minutes after he had ended the video call, he noticed from the corner of his glaring eyes that his smartphone was vibrating, the screen lit up and with a certain idiot’s name on it. He was far too angry to want to waste any more of his precious free time entertaining his brainless friends, but against his better judgment, Bakugou grabbed his phone and answered the phone call. “What now!?”

“You hung up so fast, I couldn’t even finish what I was about to say next to congratulate you on this huge next step in the tall, steep ladder to adulthood,” jokingly sighed Kirishima, foregoing the usual greetings since they had been talking until a couple of minutes ago. However, when he heard Bakugou grinding his teeth out of deep-seated rage, he cleared his throat and changed his tone. “All jokes aside, are you two really going to get married?”

“I already told you this isn’t a prank,” groaned Bakugou as he loudly exhaled his frustrations and allowed his body to fall back against the sofa’s cushy backrest. “We’re getting married, moving in together, doing what we need to do to sort out our issues, and then we’re getting a clean, easygoing divorce once everything is done. The end. Also, we don’t need your help with anything. We’re not getting married for real, alright? There’s going to be no wedding ceremony or honeymoon, everything will stay the same aside from our current addresses. So sorry to burst your delusional bubble, but no best man role for you.”

“Ahahaha, I know, I know,” chuckled Kirishima, feeling a bit more relieved now that he could hear the sarcastic tone in his friend’s voice. “By the way, what was that thing about an arranged marriage?”

“It’s some sort of family tradition on both sides of his family tree or whatever,” said Bakugou with a dismissive shrug of his shoulders. “Todoroki is against it but Endeavor is being a pain in his ass and trying to convince him to do it. You know, the usual stupid Todoroki household feud.”

“I’m surprised he came to ask you for help, though,” pointed out Kirishima, feeling a bit awkward about how to react to his former classmate’s family issues. They were all aware of the problematic things that had happened in Todoroki’s childhood, courtesy of Dabi publicly exposing his father during the war against the League of Villains, but they hardly talked about it, both with Todoroki and amongst themselves. Not that that mattered all that much in regards to Todoroki’s marriage of convenience with Bakugou. “He could have asked any of the girls to pretend to be his girlfriend for a while before coming to you.”

“I told him exactly that, but he said he prefers me since I can easily tame and domesticate Endeavor any day of the week, hehehe,” snickered Bakugou, a mischievous smirk at long last popping up on his lips. “Or at least that’s how I interpreted it. The biggest reason is just that it’s more convenient like this for both of us. I get to sort out my problems, he gets to sort out his. It’s win-win for everybody involved, so there won’t be any hard feelings once it’s time to end the fake marriage with a real divorce.”

“Man, you must be really desperate to sort out things on your end if you’re willing to go to such lengths…” sighed Kirishima, feeling a tinge of sympathy towards his best friend as he heard him say the ‘I get to sort out my problems’ remark. “Are things really getting that bad with those guys trying to recruit you for the position of villain boss…?”

“......Kinda, I guess,” grumbled Bakugou after a notoriously long pause. “Did you hear about that hostage situation I dealt with last week?”

“Yeah, it was a bank robbery gone wrong, right?” said Kirishima, perking up a little bit at the mention of an incident he remembered seeing in the news recently.

“That’s just what we allowed to be publicly announced,” tiredly sighed Bakugou, his gaze dropping to his half-eaten dinner. “What actually happened is way worse than your regular bank robbery. They didn’t really care about the money, they just wanted an excuse to bait me there so they could talk with me privately. The only demand they made while threatening to kill all the hostages was for me to be the one to deal with that case. Well, the police did just that and called me over there. Once I got inside of the bank, they started with the usual spiel of me being a natural-born villain and yada yada. You get the gist. I didn’t think twice about beating the living daylights out of them on the spot. They were total weaklings, so it was a walk in the park for someone as strong as me, hah! The problem was what they said as they were being escorted outside by the police officers…”

“W-What was it they said…?” asked Kirishima, nervously gulping down the large lump that appeared in his throat due to those ominous words.

“Apparently, I passed all of their stupid tests or whatever it is they’ve been doing these past few months,” explained Bakugou, his gaze tightening as a deep frown slowly took over his whole face. “According to them, I’m now ready to take command of my new role as their boss and can start whenever I feel like. They also added one more reason as to why they think I’m the perfect guy for the job. I was the one who ended All for One so I should pick up where he left off. As in, I’ve inherited his status as the top dog in the underworld or something along those lines. It’s all a bunch of bs, that’s what it is! The thing is, every single one of those lunatics seriously believes in all of this. It’s like they received the cult member brainwashing treatment and wholeheartedly believe I’m this evil messiah that will help them conquer the whole world in a week.”

“Yeeeeeah, that’s bad. Like, really, really bad,” winced Kirishima, his body shuddering slightly just at the thought of that nightmarish situation. “Having a bunch of cult members that worship you like an evil god of some sort constantly trying to get your attention and recruit you to the dark side must suck big time… No wonder you’re willing to get married to Todoroki as an attempt to delusion them of this fake perception they have of you. I know I was goofing off earlier during the video call, but seriously, if you need any backup, just say the word. I’ll get inside the next flight or train right away and help you take down that whole group in one go.”

“Hah, if it was that easy, I’d have done that myself a long time ago,” snorted Bakugou, even though his facial expression softened a whole lot and a small smile crept into his lips. “I’ll just keep chipping away at their numbers and arrest them one by one. Then when the right time comes, I’ll raid their headquarters and destroy them completely. Not a single one of them will be walking around my streets by the time I’m done with them, hehehe.”

“Geez, this is exactly why they think you’re a perfect fit for their imaginary evil overlord,” chuckled Kirishima while half-heartedly complaining about his best friend’s villain-ish tendencies. “Anyway, I’m sure you still have plenty of things to do in preparation for tomorrow’s courthouse wedding. I’ll get in contact with the rest of our former classmates and explain to them what is going on, or else they’ll have a massive heart attack once you two publicly announce you tied the knot behind everyone’s back.”

“I’m pretty sure Todoroki is also gonna do that with a few of you but yeah, go right ahead and take that annoying task out of my hands,” Bakugou requested after letting out yet another tired sigh. “I still have to break this news to my parents and I’m definitely not looking forward to that. Between the old hag and Endeavor, I’d choose Endeavor a hundred times over…”

“I-I wish you the best of luck with that…” awkwardly mumbled Kirishima. He had met and talked with Bakugou’s mother before so he had to agree that Todoroki’s father was a whole lot less challenging when in comparison. Huh, now I kinda wonder what it would be like if Todoroki were to meet and interact with Mitsuki-san as Bakugou’s husband, fake or otherwise. Oh, to be a fly in the wall if such a meeting ever happens…

“Yeah, yeah. Bye then,” sighed Bakugou with a dismissive roll of his eyes. With that, he ended his phone call with Kirishima, hand holding his smartphone lifelessly flopping down on the sofa’s cushion. He stayed just like that for several minutes, his crimson eyes focused on the TV but not actually registering anything due to the thoughts swirling inside of his brain. After a good while, Bakugou let out a long, long sigh. “Well, better do that call now or else I’ll wake her up later on…”

………Nah, on second thought, I should finish my dinner first. I will need that extra energy to deal with my mother and those annoying comments I’m 100% sure she’ll make… Ugh, fuck those guys! I swear I’m gonna catch every single one of them for putting me in this sort of position!!!

Chapter Text

Well, that went better than I expected, concluded Todoroki in the back of his mind as he placed his smartphone down on the sofa's cushion.

Actually, several things had gone better than Todoroki was expecting, with the biggest one being Bakugou accepting his proposal for a marriage of convenience between the two of them, but in this specific moment, he was thinking about his conversation with his mother and his siblings.

Much like he had discussed with Bakugou, he decided that it would be for the better if he told the truth not only to his older sister and brother, but also to his mother. Hence, the moment he arrived at his apartment, he began with the phone calls.

The first one was to his older sister, who was initially shocked when Todoroki told her he’d be getting married the following day, but quickly calmed down once she understood it was just an intricate plan to avoid a certain bothersome family tradition of theirs. Nevertheless, Fuyumi felt a bit uncertain about whether Todoroki’s plan would really work, given their father's determination to make the arranged marriage happen. According to her, Enji had spent the last two weeks conducting his own research and meeting with several people to compile a comprehensive list of young women around the same age as the youngest Todoroki family member who would be suitable bride candidates. All in all, he meant business when he said it was time for Todoroki to start thinking about his future married status. None of it surprised Todoroki, and he was also very confident he’d be able to win this ‘battle’ against his father, all the more so now that he had Bakugou as his ‘partner’.

The next phone call was to his older brother. Given the later hour, he decided to call his home phone number. To his pleasant surprise, it was his brother’s wife who picked up. After exchanging a few pleasantries, she passed the phone to her husband. Todoroki didn’t want to ruin their dinnertime or the rest of their evening, but he had to break the news to his brother now. Just like he had expected, Natsuo was rightfully angry that their father still hadn’t learned his lesson and kept on pressing them to participate in the arranged marriage tradition. He had hardly been in contact with Enji since he graduated from college and announced his marriage, but Todoroki could tell through the sound of his voice that Natsuo was seriously considering breaking his low contact status just so he could chew out their father. With some persuasion from both Todoroki and his wife, Natsuo eventually cooled down, though not before he agreed to help Todoroki and Bakugou in any way and shape they might need to fully fool Enji.

Last but definitely not least, it was Rei’s, his mother's, turn.

That one was going to be one of the most challenging conversations - not because he feared telling the truth to his mother, but because he didn’t want her to feel guilty about this choice he was making. Fortunately, Todoroki was able to express himself properly, lacking vocabulary and exposition sense notwithstanding, and reassured Rei that none of this was her fault. His mother even became more comfortable with that whole plan when she heard a bit more about Bakugou’s side of the deal and his current struggles regarding a certain group of villains. By the looks of it, the fact that their fake marriage was a potential solution for two different sets of problems alleviated quite a lot of her guilt. From that point onwards, Rei’s biggest worry was the possible repercussions for both of them if it ever came to light that their marriage was a sham. Enji would probably lose his mind about it, which was pretty bad on its own, but the mass media and the public in general would definitely not take it kindly either.

“I guess that’s just a risk we’ll have to take,” was Todoroki’s only reply to that concern. He was dead set on seeing it through until the end, and Bakugou was also a relentless perfectionist. Maybe if Todoroki were teaming up with someone else, he’d worry about that damaging possibility a whole lot more. But with Bakugou by his side, he felt like they would be unstoppable, regardless of the circumstances. They were still known as the Top Two even as pro heroes, after all. The main meaning behind it might have been lost now that they occupied completely different places in the Hero Billboard, but the essence was still right there.

Strangely enough, his mother sounded surprisingly satisfied with such an answer. She even chuckled a little bit at it as they were approaching the end of their phone call.

I’m glad she didn’t take this the wrong way. Todoroki sighed in relief, a small smile now present in his usually expressionless face. It seemed that a marriage of convenience with Bakugou truly had been the right approach for this family feud. He now felt twice as relieved with his pick for his fake betrothed.

While Todoroki would have liked to end his day on such a positive note, he still had a few tasks he needed to accomplish before tomorrow’s deadline. The moment such a proposal popped up in his mind, he was very keen on following through with it. That’s why once he parted ways with Bakugou, which happened shortly after that man he knocked out was taken away by the police, he immediately went to work and started making arrangements, mainly by getting in contact with an acquaintance that might be able to book an appointment for them at the courthouse for the day after. He hadn’t had Bakugou’s okay yet at that time, but something told him that things would work out in his favour. Hence, Todoroki trusted his gut feeling and went for it without thinking twice.

That was why he received a text message confirming his appointment at the courthouse halfway through his meeting with Bakugou. Had his face not been as expressionless as it was, Todoroki perhaps might have seemed equal parts relieved and excited at seeing that date and time. Two of the biggest hurdles about getting married to Bakugou - getting the actual okay from his ‘partner’ and getting a last-minute appointment at the courthouse - were swiftly cleared, so of course he was over the moon about it all.

In a roundabout way, he could also think of these past three phone calls as secondary challenges that he needed to undergo to make their plan run more smoothly. However, their impact in the overall plan paled in comparison to Bakugou teaming up with him so readily and without kicking up much of a fuss.

He had heard some bits and pieces about this ‘group’ of villains bothering Bakugou for a bit over two months now, but only today did he find out the full scope of their harassment. Bakugou briefly filled him in on what had happened so far, and as expected, he could now see why he was willing to accept his fake marriage proposal. While his… well, ‘followers’, as they could call them, weren’t outright dangerous and hadn’t done much damage up until now, their attempts at gaining Bakugou’s attention were steadily escalating. The encounter Todoroki had witnessed today was considerably tame, and Bakugou had gotten him under control in a matter of seconds, but the previous one had involved a staged bank robbery and placed plenty of civilian lives at risk. From what Bakugou told him, that was the most severe incident they had caused up until now, but the villains involved in it had also been pretty clear that they would keep on trying until Bakugou finally took the mantle as their new ‘evil god’. And no, that was not a figure of speech or Bakugou exaggerating. They had indeed called Bakugou their ‘god’.

“I bet he’s starting to regret having named himself ‘Great Explosion Murder God’ alongside ‘Dynamight’,” chuckled Todoroki under his breath. This situation wasn’t exactly a laughing matter, but he still found it to be somewhat ironic. Or perhaps he was simply amused by the fact that Bakugou still attracted villains to himself like bees to honey, even as a renowned pro hero with several great accomplishments under his belt since his high school days.

Be that as it may, Todoroki would gladly become his ‘scandal’ if it helped him in any way. Perhaps the media attention would get them to think twice about approaching him, or maybe the normalcy behind the act of getting married would make his ‘followers’ realise he’s just your regular human being. He knew Bakugou was extremely eager to catch every single member of that group, either way, so he doubted those poor cult members would come out of this unscathed even if they stopped and apologised.

After hearing Bakugou moan and bitch about it for a good while, Todoroki offered to fill in the rest of their former classmates about their plan, just so they wouldn’t be caught off guard by the upcoming public announcement (date still pending).

“I’m sure he’s going to talk about this with Kirishima personally, so I can take him, Kaminari and Sero off the list,” mumbled Todoroki as he leaned forward and grabbed the notepad and pen he had left on top of the table in front of the sofa. Three names were already scratched off the list he had written in it, and now three more were getting eliminated from it too. He closely observed the remaining names and tried to recall off the top of his head who he remembered seeing around doing their rounds or spotted in the news, just so he wouldn’t call anyone that was currently working. “Hmm… I think Midoriya would be a good starting point. He’d also be able to help spread the news to those I can’t contact today.”

With that in mind, Todoroki grabbed his smartphone from the sofa and browsed through his contact list until he arrived at the right entry. After two rings, he heard that distinct clicking sound of their call connecting.

“Oh, hi, Todoroki-kun. It’s pretty unusual for you to call,” said Midoriya, his voice as chipper as always. Since they were more accustomed to talking in person or through text messages, he quickly noticed that there was a specific reason why Todoroki needed to get in contact with him right now. “Is something the matter?”

“I just want to update you on something about Bakugou and me,” calmly explained Todoroki. He initially thought he could go about it in the same way he had with his mother and siblings, but then he remembered that Midoriya was a pro hero like him. There was no need to use terms and words that civilians would understand purposefully; he could just go about it as if he were providing a verbal report to one of his coworkers.

“Are you and Kacchan going to work together on a new mission?” enthusiastically asked Midoriya, his passion towards pro heroes shining through the tone of his voice. So long as there wasn’t any classified information involved, he was dying to hear all about it.

“We’re getting married tomorrow,” announced Todoroki, his voice as calm and collected as if he were ordering an item from a menu. A second after his announcement, he heard a bunch of crashing sounds coming from the other end of the phone call, which were then followed by total silence. “Midoriya? Hello?”

Todoroki ended up having to patiently wait for a full minute for his friend to return as a whole to their conversation.

“I-I’m sorry, you’re what…!?” nearly yelped Midoriya once he had picked up his smartphone from the floor and had gotten the shaking on his hands under control. “M-Married? As in, married married? Why- How- What- I………… I had no idea you two were-”

“We’re teaming up to sort out some problems so we’re not getting married for real, Midoriya,” explained Todoroki before his friend’s mind imploded out of shock. “No, we are getting married for real, but it’s just until we finish our mission. Once that’s done, we’re getting a divorce and everything will go back to how it’s always been.”

“Y-You should have started with that, Todoroki-kun…!!!” Midoriya sobbed, the immense relief he was experiencing turning his voice into something akin to a wail. “Do you have any idea how big of a shock it is to hear that two of my friends are suddenly getting married to one another? Had you not cleared the misunderstanding so soon, I probably would have collapsed at some point during our conversation!”

“Sorry,” chuckled Todoroki - even though he did mean his apology. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to tell other people about it. Not that I can tell it to too many people in the first place. Bakugou and I agreed to share the truth with just our immediate family and everyone from Class A. My father is the only exception to this compromise. He can’t find out about it, or else my plan to decline an arranged marriage will be ruined.”

“An arranged marriage!?” yelped Midoriya, his reaction returning to the same panicked squawking of earlier. “How did that happen!?”

“It’s a family tradition in my household, I guess,” sighed Todoroki at the same time he dismissively shrugged his shoulders. “You already know that my parents got married through a Quirk marriage mostly arranged by my grandparents, right? Well, my father wants to continue that tradition, but in the old-fashioned way, as just your normal arranged marriage. You know, like it was done before Quirks existed. He tried to do it with Fuyu-nee and Natsu-nii, but they both managed to find ways to decline it. Now it’s my turn. But since I’m the last chance he’s got to keep that family tradition going, my father is extremely adamant that I get married to one of the women he has selected.”

“And you don’t want to get married to any of them…?” asked Midoriya, even though he already knew what his friend’s answer would be.

“Of course not. I’m against Quirk and arranged marriages equally, family traditions involved or not,” resolutely declared Todoroki. Midoriya had been the first person he had opened up to about his family issues. Had Midoriya not given him a good wake-up call while they were students at U.A., Todoroki had his doubts about whether he would have managed to become the pro hero he is today or not. As such, Midoriya was fully aware of what his thoughts on this topic were. “The problem is that my father isn’t willing to take my no as an answer. You know how he is. He might be on a good path to move forward from the past, but he can be annoyingly stubborn when it comes to certain issues. Family traditions are definitely one of them.”

“So you think that if you marry Kacchan, Endeavor might back off and drop this family tradition for good…” mumbled Midoriya, thinking very closely about what was at stake here. Yes, he definitely couldn’t see Todoroki relenting in this big, important subject, given his traumatic past. Making his father think he was already in a loving relationship with someone else could be a good way to cancel all plans he has for an arranged marriage for his youngest son. It would be challenging, seeing as Todoroki was terrible at lying, but if he picked his fake partner very carefully, it was a doable strate- “Wait, why did you pick Kacchan as your partner in a marriage of convenience!? No, better yet, how exactly did you manage to convince him to participate in this ‘mission’!? Kacchan is the last person I’d expect to help you with something like this!”

“That’s because he also needs some help with some of his issues,” said Todoroki, trying his best not to chuckle at Midoriya’s reaction. He probably also wouldn’t have considered Bakugou for the position of his betrothed had he not been in the right place at the right moment - or maybe he would have at some later time after agonising over this family feud for a good, good while, who knew? But now that their plan was in motion, Todoroki was 100% sure he had picked the right person for the job. “He was thinking about fabricating some sort of scandal to shoo away that group that wants to recruit him as the new ‘evil boss of the underworld’, so I offered to become that scandal. To sum it up, our goals sort of aligned, even though they are completely different, and we agreed to work together to sort out our problems once and for all.”

“I see… Yeah, that makes total sense,” acknowledged Midoriya while he lightly nodded along. “Tsukauchi-san mentioned a few days ago that a big slice of Kacchan’s latest arrests were members of a certain villain group. Curiously, he has been the only pro hero who has bumped into them, so Kacchan is the only one arresting them, too. If he’s willing to get married to you just to get a break from that, things must be getting worse…”

“Yeah, they are getting worse and more dangerous,” sighed Todoroki, yet again sympathising with the position Bakugou had been forced into. “He told me that the bank robbery and hostage situation he worked on last week was orchestrated by that group as a way to talk to him personally. He described them as ‘a bunch of lunatic followers that got brainwashed into worshipping him as their evil messiah’. I saw one of them today, and yeah, Bakugou’s description is on point. They really do see him as a saviour who will help them conquer the whole world in record time, so long as he joins their side.”

“Ugh… Yeah, that sounds bad…” groaned Midoriya, feeling quite bad for his childhood friend. He had always had a knack for getting involved with villains since they were middle school students, but Midoriya had thought that his bad luck in that regard had cooled down since he had become a pro hero. However, by the looks of it, it seemed Bakugou Katsuki was still the most sought-after villain candidate in Japan, even though he never had any intentions of becoming one… “I can’t see Kacchan being all that happy about being forced to spend his working hours catching these villains who are trying to headhunt him instead of focusing on more serious matters and missions. No matter what anyone might say about him, Kacchan is the strongest pro hero in the whole country. Putting him in charge of such trivial cases would be a fatal waste of our personnel and resources. Do you two already have a concrete plan on how to deal with that group?”

“We’re still working on it,” said Todoroki, not confirming or denying it. While he talked extensively earlier with Bakugou, they hadn’t decided anything yet. For the time being, they would be focusing on getting married and announcing it to both Enji and the rest of the country, followed by finding and moving into their new home. Once those two focal tasks had been accomplished, though, Todoroki was sure Bakugou would actively start working on getting rid of the entire group of villains going after him. “We’ll keep all of you updated about how our mission goes, though.”

“Yes, please do! And if you need any help, either with Endeavor or the villain group, let us know too!” added Midoriya, his energetic voice back in full.

Their conversation kept on going for a little while longer, mainly because they took their time splitting their former classmates into two groups - one for Todoroki to contact today and another that Midoriya would be contacting tomorrow, since he’d be off from work then. Once that was done, however, they bid their goodbyes and went on with enforcing the agreed ‘divide and conquer’ strategy.

Midoriya’s reaction was exactly what I expected it to be, chuckled Todoroki in the back of his mind as he browsed through his contact list to look for the phone number of the next name on his notepad. First, he freaked out in a total panic, but he quickly switched to full support once Todoroki explained the true objective of the marriage. He could see the rest of his former classmates having similar reactions, but Midoriya was definitely going to be the most noteworthy one. I can’t blame them, I’d probably react the same way had I been in their shoes.

“Well, let’s move on to the next one. It’s starting to get late,” sighed Todoroki as he pressed his finger on the contact info of his next ‘target’. But just as he was about to tap the call button, a notification popped up in the upper half of his smartphone. “Hm?”

[Bakugou] No matter what, you have to say no. I don’t care what you think or what excuse you’ll give, YOU WILL SAY NO.

“What?” Seeing such a sudden, cryptic text message, all Todoroki could really do was arch an eyebrow while he stared blankly at the screen. Had Bakugou maybe sent him that message by mistake? …No, that didn’t sound like something that would happen to Bakugou, given his perfectionist personality. But if so, then what exactly was he trying to tell him right now?

The answer to that question came a few seconds later, in the shape of a phone number that was trying to call him. Neither he nor his contact list recognised it.

Chapter Text

“Hello?” said Todoroki with a certain hesitation, even though his voice maintained the same expressionless inflection he used on the daily. A phone call from an unknown number right after receiving such a cryptic text message from Bakugou was giving him a slight foreboding bad feeling. But since he didn’t have any other way to confirm what exactly was going on right now, Todoroki had no choice but to dive right in completely blind.

“Todoroki, right?” asked a woman’s voice, her tone harsh and straight to the point. Todoroki was about to confirm that yes, she was indeed speaking with a Todoroki, and ask her who he was talking with, but he was cut off almost right away. “Good, that damn rascal didn’t give me a bogus phone number. I guess he lives to see another day after all.”

“............” Todoroki would be able to recognise that familiar speaking pattern and mannerisms anywhere in the world. Without even meaning to, he recalled something that Midoriya once said during their first year of high school, shortly after they all moved into the dorm…

“If you think living under the same roof as Kacchan will be a challenge, then you have no idea what it’s like living under the command of Mitsuki-san, his mother… Kacchan will be in his best behaviour for the next three years if it means he can get a small break from that… O-Oh, but not because she’s mean to him or mistreats him in any way! That’s definitely not the case! It’s just… they are too similar to one another, and as his mother… Well, she ends up winning most of the time, ahaha…”

“You’re… Mitsuki-san…?” said Todoroki, more as an uncertain question than an established fact. It had been so long since he last heard Midoriya sharing tales from his childhood with Bakugou and his family that he had his doubts about how well he remembered what he thought he knew.

“Oh, looks like we can skip the introductions,” chuckled Mitsuki, feeling a bit amused about that slow yet on-point reaction. “I’ll go straight to the point then. How’s your schedule looking for the next couple of days? I’m sure things will be pretty chaotic for a good while, what with the upcoming marriage announcement and you moving in together. But I’m sure you’ll be able to make some time for your future mother-in-law… right?”

“Um… Since you know about it already, I’m sure Baku- your son has explained to you that it’s just a temporary marriage of convenience,” cautiously explained Todoroki, his back straightening a bit more as he heard the words ‘make some time for your future mother-in-law’ reach his ear. “So it’s not like we’re going to be…”

“Yes, yes, I know it’s all just an act to help you complete some sort of mission or whatever,” sighed Mitsuki, the tone of her voice indicating that she probably had just rolled her eyes at Todoroki - much like Bakugou did whenever he heard something that he found unnecessary. “But meeting with you sounds like a good, fun way to annoy Katsuki so hey, why not? Plus, wouldn’t that make your fake relationship more believable in the eyes of everyone else? I see it as a win-win deal for all of us, if you ask me, hehehe.”

Yeah, she’s Bakugou’s mother, alright… Todoroki concluded in the back of his mind, expressionlessly staring into the distance. The apple sure did not fall far from the tree in this specific mother-son duo, it seemed. One of Bakugou’s biggest motivators was the pure, devious desire to mess with other people’s heads, a skill that he most likely inherited from his mother, if Todoroki were to base himself on this conversation alone.

“...I hope you don’t mind me asking this, but… are you sure about this?” asked Todoroki, putting aside his comparison thoughts so he could face this surprise quest with a bit more seriousness. “We’re warning certain people and telling them the truth because it’s the best way to avoid future problems in the short and long run. But we weren’t planning on involving anyone in this ‘mission’, much less our families…”

“Mission or not, a marriage is a marriage, no matter how long it might last,” said Mitsuki after briefly thinking about it for a couple of seconds. “Even if it’s nothing more than a fake marriage, our families will be officially joined through the family register from now on. Call me old-fashioned all you want, but I like to do everything the right way, especially when it comes to my son. I don’t plan on getting in the way of your mission or anything, but at least let me enjoy cosplaying as a ‘mother-in-law’ while I can. I mean, the way that rascal is, I doubt I’ll ever be a real mother-in-law. So, you know, I might as well, ahaha.”

“I see,” acknowledged Todoroki with a small nod of his head. Although they shared quite a lot of similarities personality-wise, Mitsuki seemed to be more diplomatic than Bakugou, even if it was purely for her personal gain. Todoroki sort of hoped the same also happened to Bakugou as he got older, if only so he wouldn’t get into trouble with villains and evil-coded individuals as often as he currently did. But that was beside the point. “So you just want to meet with me to talk and introduce ourselves in person?”

“Pretty much, yes,” confirmed Mitsuki in a quite leisurely fashion. “And I’m not a monster, contrary to what my son might tell you. Katsuki will obviously be there too, whether he wants to or not. He’ll throw a hissy fit either way, but it’s more interesting to see him getting all pissy with my own two eyes. So once you have a date and time, let me know. My work schedule keeps me in and out of the house all week long, but I’ll make it work somehow.”

“Okay, I’ll see what I can do,” said Todoroki, albeit still feeling indecisive about whether this was the right way to go about it or not. If he could base himself on Bakugou’s earlier text message, it was more than clear he wanted Todoroki to say no to his mother. However, that was turning out to be an impossible choice to make.

To begin with, Todoroki didn’t want to be rude to either of Bakugou’s parents. He fully agreed with Mitsuki when it came to their families being linked to one another the moment the marriage registration papers were signed and processed by the courthouse. Even if it was a fake marriage, the whole process was very much real. Since they were rushing their marriage so much and would be unable to do things the ‘old-fashioned’ way, the least Todoroki could do was show his respect to his temporary in-laws by humouring them a bit.

Besides, in all honesty, after hearing so much about Bakugou’s childhood through Midoriya, Todoroki was slightly curious about his family. He had seen Bakugou with his parents from a distance but had never personally spoken to or interacted with them. If Mitsuki wanted to meet and talk with him despite being fully aware that this was just a temporary marriage of convenience, he wouldn’t be against it in the slightest.

“Good, good. I look forward to hearing from you soon,” chuckled Mitsuki, ready to end this unexpected phone call now that she had gotten what she wanted. “Oh, one last thing. Good luck being married to my son. I think you’re going to need every little tidbit of it to come out of this unscathed.”

“I lived with him for three years at UA’s dorm. I think I’ll be just fine,” deadpanned Todoroki, his thoughts once again thrown back in time to those messy, busy days when Class 1-A was moving in and settling at the newly built dorm. Back then, too, there had been quite a lot of people who feared living under the same roof as their resident powder keg, to the point his childhood friend had to vouch for their safety.

“Hah! Living with a spouse is a completely different beast from living with a bunch of classmates, you big dolt,” snorted Mitsuki, her evil cackling very reminiscent of her son’s. “Like I said, good luck. The way you spoke just now, though, I’m starting to think you’ll need a freakin’ miracle rather than just good luck. Either way, hang in there until your mission is completed, ahahaha!”

“Right,” awkwardly replied Todoroki, not really sure what he was supposed to say to such a warning. Maybe Mitsuki was just messing with his head, much like Bakugou liked to do to his friends. Or perhaps she was sharing some tips on how to survive a marriage, as someone who had been married for several decades. Whatever might be the case, Todoroki wasn’t necessarily feeling all that nervous or reticent about getting married and living together with Bakugou. After all, their surroundings might change a little bit, but their relationship would remain the same way it had always been.

So really, how hard could it be to be married to Bakugou Katsuki?

Once they bid their goodbyes and the call ended, Todoroki returned to that text message he had received a few minutes prior. Bakugou hadn’t sent him anything else while he was talking with Mitsuki, so he was probably waiting for some news from either Todoroki or his mother. Should he let Mitsuki do all the talking, or should he tell Bakugou that they would have to meet with his mother sometime soon?

I don’t think he’s going to like the result of our phone call… Maybe I should start doing some damage control before he goes into a hissy fit? Todoroki wondered in the back of his mind as he stared fixedly at his smartphone’s screen. Yes, damage control seemed like a great idea, or else Bakugou would try to get back at him in some sort of way later on - probably by arranging a meeting with Enji as payback or something along those lines. Hence, Todoroki started typing a message back to him.

[Todoroki] Sorry

Would such a short, simple reply work? Todoroki had the impression that throwing around excuses to see if one of them stuck would only aggravate Bakugou even further, but maybe one word was also too-

[Bakugou] I hate you so much, you half-assed moron!

Yeah, fair enough, sighed Todoroki to his own buttons. He, too, was just thinking that a simple ‘sorry’ might be a bit too half-assed. But there was no need to spout hate remarks just because of something this trivial, right?

[Todoroki] It’s okay, Bakugou. I don’t mind meeting with your mother

[Bakugou] Well, I mind!

[Todoroki] It’s not like it’s just going to be me and her. She wants you there too

[Bakugou] THAT’S EXACTLY THE PROBLEM!!!

[Todoroki] How is that a problem?

[Bakugou] Do you want to go on an outing with your father and me? No, you don’t. And I don’t want either. Now apply that same logic to this and bam, there’s that problem I’m talking about!

“But isn’t that two completely different things…?” mumbled Todoroki under his breath, his head slightly tilted as he tried to figure out why something like this was a problem for Bakugou. Unlike him, Bakugou seemed to be on good terms with his parents, even though there was so much bickering and banter between him and his mother. He wasn’t too privy to their family dynamics, but even Todoroki could tell it was very different from his family. As such, their meeting up with Mitsuki wouldn’t be the same experience as meeting up with Enji. “I really don’t get it…”

And since Todoroki didn’t get it, he wanted to find a way to do so. He began typing a new text message to Bakugou, but he erased it halfway through. Texting simply wasn’t a convenient way to share a back-and-forth conversation with someone else. Hence, Todoroki decided to straight out call Bakugou. It only took one ring for Bakugou to pick up, and Todoroki got on with it right away, leaving his fellow pro hero with no time to start hissing at him.

“I don’t understand why you’re so against us meeting with your parents,” said Todoroki, his head still displaying a hint of a tilt. “It’s not like you have a bad relationship with them, right? It should be far easier to interact with them than with my father, and since they know the truth about our upcoming marriage, I think they could be a great way to solidify our fake relationship in the eyes of the public. Plus, my father can’t accuse us of faking it when we’re going around having meetings with my ‘in-laws’.”

“Don’t call me just because you can’t be bothered to type all of that!!!” retorted Bakugou as soon as Todoroki stopped babbling. “Also, my relationship with my parents has nothing to do with this! I just don’t see the point of the two of us meeting with them. Sure, it would help our marriage seem more believable but there’s several big ass downsides to it! Downside number one is THAT OLD HAG IS NEVER GONNA LET ME LIVE THIS ONE DOWN! She will spend the rest of her life taking digs at me for this, especially if I never get married after we divorce. So I don’t want to give her any more ammunition than this! Downside number two is if those lunatics staged a bank robbery filled with hostages just to talk to me, what do you think they’ll do if they learn who my parents are, huh?”

“Oh. That’s true,” gasped Todoroki, only now realising that anyone who was connected to Bakugou in any shape or form could potentially be at risk of being approached or outright attacked by the villain group pursuing him. Still, there should be a way to meet with his parents without jeopardising their safety. They were both pro heroes; they knew the ins and outs of protecting witnesses or victims being threatened. “Meeting at a public spot wouldn’t be a good idea, then.”

“A private spot wouldn’t be much better either,” scoffed Bakugou with a dismissive snigger. “So let’s forget this whole meeting thing and focus on our actual goals, yeah? Interacting with Endeavor outside of my working hours is as far as I’m willing to go for ‘family time’ throughout this mission. You deal with your side of the family, and I’ll do the same with mine. Anything more than that and I’m out. Understood?”

“Fine…” sighed Todoroki, feeling a bit peeved at being scolded like a little kid. He was actually looking forward to meeting Bakugou’s mother, but it seemed that was out of the question for the time being. Before fully giving up on it, however, he had one last card up his sleeve to play. “In that case, you should be the one turning her down, not me.”

“........................Fuck.”

I think I just won this one, concluded Todoroki in the back of his mind. That stretched silence, followed by a quick curse word, was very telling of the fact that Todoroki had just turned the tables on Bakugou. He didn’t want to risk destroying that accomplishment by rubbing it in Bakugou’s face, though. He decided to change the conversation to something else as a distraction. “What’s your schedule like tomorrow? Will you be able to make it on time to the courthouse?”

“...So long as those lunatics don’t bother me in the afternoon or some other idiot goes nuclear in my area, it should work out,” grumbled Bakugou, his voice dripping with repressed anger - aka he was sulking big time right now. “Because of the nature of this so-called ‘mission’, I’ll have to let Best Jeanist know about it too. I’m sure he’ll figure something out to make up for my absence while we’re at the courthouse doing this thing.”

“Speaking of which. I see you around a lot while I’m working, but I never actually asked you what your usual work schedule is like,” said Todoroki, perking up a bit once that thought popped up in his head. “Since we’re moving in together and helping each other out with both sides of our deal, maybe it would be a good idea to start sharing our work schedules every week, or maybe even try to match them somewhat.”

“Don’t all hero agencies have similar scheduling styles?” Bakugou pointed out with a dismissive shrug. “My schedule changes to a different random shift every two weeks, and I get a day off per week. The only exception is when I’m selected to participate in a mission or when an emergency arises. Hmph! This whole country can’t survive without me travelling all over the place, so I might as well say I’m on call 24/7, 365 days a year.”

“Same as me, then,” chuckled Todoroki as he leisurely leaned his back on the sofa.

Things were far better now compared to a few years ago. The half-destroyed wreck that most big cities had become by the end of the war against the League of Villains had been rebuilt into bustling city centres filled with laughter and peacefulness.

However, pro heroes were still as busy as ever, mostly because their numbers had been cut down so drastically - partially due to the casualties of the gruesome battles, but mostly because of the large number of quitters and ‘heroes’ with less than good intentions that were eventually arrested. The heroes that remained were eventually supplemented by newcomers, like Todoroki, Bakugou and everyone from former Class A, but managing and protecting an entire country with limited numbers meant they could be sent anywhere they were needed at any given time.

“What do you mean, same as you?” scoffed Bakugou, clearly ticked off by something even though all Todoroki had said was four harmless words. “Since you’re so busy cleaning up after your father’s bullshit and making his transition into retirement as smooth as a baby’s butt, you’re perpetually stuck to this city doing both your job and learning his directly from the source. You’re nothing more than a chained-up guard dog waiting to inherit the crown and the throne, so to speak. Heh, you sure have gotten soft, haven’t you, Half-and-Half Bastard? Good old you would have kicked up a fuss if daddy dearest even dared to suggest having you work under him. Now, you’ve fully embraced the nepotism route and are getting an entire hero agency delivered to you on a silver platter. But well, let’s give credit where credit is due. At least you still have enough balls to throw him the middle finger when he tries to force you into an arranged marriage. Could have fooled me there, I was starting to think you had been fully castrated by now, hehehe.”

“That’s not what happened and you know it,” Todoroki shot back right away, his gaze tightening even though there was no one around he could expressionlessly glare at. “I’m not doing any of this for him. I’m doing it for myself and for-”

“Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep better at night.” Bakugou wasn’t in the right mood to listen to excuses, so he cut Todoroki off right there and then. He also wasn’t in the mood to continue chit-chatting on the phone all night long. It was about time he wrapped up this conversation and went about the rest of his night in peace and quiet - a total opposite of what tomorrow would most likely be. “If you want to convince others your father doesn’t have you by the balls, prove it with your actions, not by running away or making excuses. Tsk, no wonder you look like shit some days underneath that whole expressionless thing you have going with your face. If you do what your father wants but fool yourself into thinking you’ll do it your way, then you’re still doing what your father wants, not what you want, you dense halfwit. I’m giving you fair warning already, but if I see you wandering around our house with that half-dead look on your face, I’m locking you up outside. Ain’t no way you’re ruining my time off from work with your ugly mug and daddy issues! See you tomorrow!”

“Wai-” Bakugou had already hung up by the time Todoroki opened his mouth to speak. He could try to call him again but he doubted Bakugou would pick up, pissed off as he was. All Todoroki could do was let out a big, tired sigh, the back of his head pressed flat against the cushy backrest of the sofa, and wait for tomorrow to come.

Contrary to his initial expectations, maybe living together with just Bakugou in a non-school dorm setting was going to be as challenging as others made it sound. After all, he wasn’t just the same villain magnet that he had always been.

Bakugou was also weirdly good at seeing through other people with just a single glance at their faces, whether they be a smiling young man oozing with a gallant spirit as he introduced himself or an expressionless pro hero that very few could read like an open book.

Chapter Text

Despite still having half an hour until their scheduled appointment, Todoroki was already standing in front of the courthouse building. No, ‘standing’ wasn’t the right word to describe it. Todoroki was fidgeting around in front of the courthouse, glancing in several directions every couple of seconds.

Because of how badly their phone call had ended the previous night, Todoroki was feeling particularly nervous now. He knew how obstinate and petty Bakugou could be. A small part of him feared that his former classmate’s petty side would overpower his strong sense of duty and honour, and mess up their appointment on purpose, just so he could smirk at Todoroki and tell him, ‘payback has been served’. The likelihood of it was very small, Todoroki knew that, but underestimating Bakugou was a mistake he never wanted to make.

Hence, there was Todoroki, dressed in regular clothes that would make it easy for him to blend with the crowd and hide his identity. Even though he was usually quite half-assed with disguises, he made sure to put some effort into not being recognised as pro hero Shouto by anyone this time. Todoroki couldn’t risk being caught there with Bakugou by anyone before the right time to announce their fake relationship came. He also knew that half-assing things would get Bakugou even more annoyed at him, so he wanted to take all the precautions he could think of.

Standing here waiting for him isn’t that good of an idea, but there’s nowhere else that gives me such a clear view of the courthouse’s surrounding area…, sighed Todoroki in the back of his mind, yet against glancing down at his smartphone. He had no messages or missed calls. Usually, that would be a good sign. Today, that big nothing and the time display ticking away filled him with anxiety. He’s not going to back out at the last minute… right?

During his quick lunch break, Todoroki checked the news - much like him, Bakugou was having a very normal, uneventful workday, with no big fights or emergencies to speak of. He, of course, was relieved to hear that. All pro heroes hoped to have boring days while out in the field. But that meant he had too much quiet time on his hands, which he could use to think about their small squabble.

Todoroki kept replaying their conversation again and again, trying to figure out if he had said something that had set off Bakugou or if his fellow pro hero was simply feeling more snappy than usual due to his current circumstances. Seeing as this was a matter that involved him (someone who was chronically dense) and Bakugou (someone who was chronically in a mad mood), either of those possibilities was very likely. Maybe it was even a mixture of both. Maybe for someone who was dealing with an increasingly more erratic and dangerous villain group, Todoroki’s family issues and feuds seemed so very trivial and inconsequential in comparison - so much so, this eagerness Todoroki felt about rushing their marriage of convenience ended up getting on Bakugou’s nerves.

It’s not like I can explain why I feel this need to get officially married to him as soon as possible, Todoroki sighed yet again while stuffing his smartphone into his pocket. He himself did not understand why he had this nagging gut feeling. All Todoroki knew was that every single cell in his body was telling him to do it and fast.

His father seemed to be quite serious about keeping that family tradition alive, but Todoroki knew Enji didn’t have it in him to force him to get married to someone. He’d keep pestering him to do it at every opportunity, give him list after list of potential bride candidates that were willing to marry into their family, perhaps even host some sort of party or event to personally introduce Todoroki to some of those young ladies. But Todoroki doubted that Enji would take more extreme measures to forcibly get what he wanted.

Given that there was no incoming danger to himself, Todoroki couldn’t explain that gut feeling even if someone asked him to. That alone probably rubbed Bakugou the wrong way, but what else could he do? Todoroki couldn’t justify what he couldn’t even rationalise. He could, however, try to tell him exactly this. Even if an ‘I don’t know’ confused Bakugou even further, it was better than total silence. Better yet, maybe Bakugou would help him figure it out, since he was so good at reading Todoroki’s expressionlessness and denseness.

“Yeah, I’ll talk to Bakugou about it once we’re done with the marriage registry…” mumbled Todoroki to himself, the tension and his fidgetiness making him glance at his smartphone for the millionth time. He nearly felt like groaning when he noticed that not even two minutes had passed since he last checked it.

“Talk about what now?”

The voice that came right from behind Todoroki made him snap his body straight, as if he were a little kid who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar despite having been told not to snack before mealtime.

“B-Bakugou…” When Todoroki turned around, he saw there the man whom he had been not-so-patiently waiting for. They seemed to be approaching this new phase of their ‘mission’ with the same methods, as Bakugou was also dressed in casual wear meant to disguise his appearance. It was currently the middle of the summer, so hats and sunglasses were normal accessories that no one would think about twice. When side by side, they simply looked like regular young men enjoying a day off from work. For some reason, and despite his earlier nervousness, seeing Bakugou here like this came as a big relief for Todoroki. “You made it in time…”

“I told you I’d make it so long as no moron wrecked havoc in my territory, right?” scoffed Bakugou with a dismissive shrug of his shoulders. He stuffed his hands in his pants’ pockets and started walking towards the courthouse. “Let’s get this done once and for all. It’s better to show up a few minutes early for this sort of stuff.”

“Okay,” said Todoroki, promptly following after Bakugou. So the deal they had made ended up winning over Bakugou’s begrudging pettiness. Such a thought was making Todoroki reevaluate his earlier conclusions: maybe what had happened last night wasn’t actually an argument but just Bakugou scolding him due to something he didn’t like or agree with? Yes, that was going to be the first thing he asked Bakugou as soon as he had the chance.

The street where the courthouse was located was a main artery of the city, filled with several other government-related buildings and several company headquarters, making it a very crowded area during weekdays. Since everyone who was outside had places to be and was in a hurry, no one could really afford to pay attention to the people they passed by. Inside the courthouse, however, it was a different story.

The entrance was being closely guarded by a handful of police officers, who stood there all day long for the sake of the public servants and clerks working in the building. Normally, anyone who went inside needed to go through a security screening, but they both managed to bypass it by showing their hero licenses to the officers. Todoroki was the one who arranged their appointment through his private contacts; hence, it was his name that was used to book their last-minute appointment.

Shortly after they arrived at a waiting room bustling with people from every walk of life, a clerk came to meet with them and led them to a different waiting area. The room they were taken to was much smaller and more private, located in an area that would provide all the discretion and security that individuals with a considerable public standing and popularity required. No one needed to know what two pro heroes were doing at a courthouse, something both Todoroki and Bakugou were fully onboard with, given the sensitive ‘mission’ they had on their hands.

“So? What exactly did you want to talk about?” asked Bakugou as soon as he dropped his body on one of the available armchairs. He went to check the time on his phone, and since they still had a handful of minutes until their appointment, he decided to get on with one of the entries in his mental tasks list.

“Oh. Um… It can wait until we’re done here,” said Todoroki, slightly caught by surprise by Bakugou’s straightforward question. He, too, took a seat in a nearby armchair, intending to quietly wait for them to get called to the office of the judge who would be officiating their civil marriage. The suspicious glare on Bakugou’s face told him such a thing was not an option, however. Todoroki sighed. “It’s about the argument we had yesterday on the phone.”

“What argument? I just said the truth as I see it,” scoffed Bakugou, turning his face in the opposite direction with a moody ‘hmph’. “If you’ve got a problem with that, keep it to yourself. I ain’t gonna censure myself to protect your fragile little feelings.”

“No, that’s not what I…” Todoroki’s words stopped mid-sentence, his eyebrow slightly perked up as he closely looked at Bakugou. Could it be that Bakugou didn’t even view what happened yesterday as an argument? In that case, he must not be that angry about anything that Todoroki might or might not have said. “If you’re not bothered by it, then good. I just didn’t want things to be too tense between us, especially now that we’re going to move in together.”

“Pick a side to be on, will ya?” tiredly sighed Bakugou while he rolled his eyes around. By the time his eyeballs returned to their primary position, he was looking at Todoroki yet again. “You can either be dense as fuck or stupidly hypersensitive of other people. Don’t zigzag from one to the other whenever you feel like it.”

“You’re asking for the impossible, Bakugou,” deadpaned Todoroki, despite feeling a whole lot more relaxed now that he was talking and bickering with Bakugou like usual. I guess I was overthinking it too much.

“So long as you stay in your lane and don’t disrupt my life too much, we’ll be just fine. Didn’t we coexist without any problem when we were living in the dorm?” pointed out Bakugou, dismissively waving his hand around. It was now his turn to arch an eyebrow when he spotted Todoroki blankly staring at him. “What?”

“I said the same thing yesterday to Mitsuki-san, and she gave me an earful about how living with a spouse is different from living in a dorm with multiple classmates,” calmly stated Todoroki, a big contrast to Bakugou’s crumbling disparaging attitude. “She also said we’ll get in trouble if we keep thinking of it this way… or something along those lines.”

“Huh!? What is that even supposed to mean!?” yelped Bakugou, promptly jumping up from the armchair.

“I’m not sure myself,” said Todoroki, his head tilted as he did his best to recall every single word used in his brief conversation with his ‘mother-in-law’. Even now, he felt very puzzled about that portion of their talk, be it because of its contents, be it because of Mitsuki’s unknown true intentions. “You should ask her about it the next time you talk with her. We’re going to deal with our families separately from now on, right? It’s up to you to figure that one out, then.”

“Grrr…” Bakugou sat back down on the airchair while growling and grumbling under his breath, his arms crossed over his chest. “...Is verbal warfare one of the skills you’ve been learning from Endeavor these past few years?”

“No, not really,” denied Todoroki with a small shake of his head. His blank gaze was still focused on Bakugou, but it was now slightly hardened due to the mention of his father. “If you ask me, you’re a far better example and teacher when it comes to tricking people and messing with their heads through the power of words.”

“It’s way too late to try to butter me up with compliments…” retorted Bakugou, not falling for the surface-level flattery being used to soften the sharp edges of his remarks.

“Is it working, though?” asked Todoroki, quickly catching onto the fact that Bakugou’s retaliation was far tamer than it would have been under normal circumstances.

“Hah! You mean you buttering me up with compliments or you tricking people through the power of words?” snorted Bakugou, his lips slowly twisting themselves into a knowing smirk. He placed his elbow on the armrest and leaned the side of his face on his closed fist, his expression a mixture of mocking and pleased. “I’ll give you a gold star for effort, but overall, nope. But keep on thinking you screwed me over with this ‘dealing with our families separately’ thing. It makes it easier for me to make a move behind your back, hehehe.”

“Thanks for the warning,” deadpanned Todoroki, making a mental note to keep an eye out for Bakugou’s petty acts of revenge and evil schemes for the next couple of weeks.

“Don’t thank me, the warning is part of the plan,” snickered Bakugou, his smirk only growing more conspicuous and malicious. His crimson eyes were quite literally twinkling with mischief.

“...............” What was Todoroki even supposed to say to something like that? Bakugou was truly a challenging opponent, both in physical fights and verbal battles. It made Todoroki value those rare instances where he scored a point or two against him even more. He would need to be on his toes until Bakugou cooled down and placed this conversation on the back burner. Meanwhile, all Todoroki could do was appease and distract him in hopes of being hit by just a bump in the road rather than a nuke. “Speaking of which, when should we announce our marriage and begin the preparations to move in together?”

“You’ve been steamrolling the whole marriage process because of your fussiness over it. I’m gonna do the same with our new place,” declared Bakugou, his smirk instantly turning into a serious frown. “Just like you have your contacts inside the courthouse, I know my way around real estate. I’ll find something that meets my high standards in a matter of hours, just like I did with my current apartment. All you need to do is pack your stuff and bring it to the right address once that’s done.”

“Okay,” said Todoroki with a quick nod. That sure made things easier for him, even though he still had to deal with the whole process of breaking his lease earlier than planned. He used his apartment mainly to sleep and store his clothes and other personal belongings; the packing wouldn’t take more than half a day, at best. As for his furniture, he’ll ask his landlord if they want to buy it from him and keep the apartment partially furnished for the next renter. If not, he’d sell what he could and put the rest in a rented storage unit. However, his lifestyle was very different from Bakugou’s, which led him to ask next, “Will you need help packing and moving your stuff? I know you have a lot more stuff than I do, since you have cooking as your hobby.”

“It’s not a hobby, it’s a life skill and a necessity to keep my high performance while I’m outside doing my job!” retorted Bakugou, his crimson eyes tightening into a glare. “Just because you survive on takeout doesn’t mean everyone else is dumb enough to slack on maintenance of their main work tool.”

“I eat my mother’s and sister’s home cooking more frequently than takeout,” rectified Todoroki, feeling that he needed to seriously defend himself on this particular topic. He would not allow Bakugou to place his mother’s and sister’s delicious meals on the same level as commercial food. “If you were in contact with them, I’m sure they’d share more recipes with you. You still use Fuyu-nee’s mapo tofu recipe, don’t you?”

“I’m not gonna fall for your cheap tricks, just give it a rest already, will you!?” hissed Bakugou, slamming his closed fist on the armrest.

“Tsk…” Todoroki unconsciously clicked his tongue and averted Bakugou’s all-seeing gaze. He really was good at reading between the lines. It seemed he truly had no choice but to back off for the time being. Maybe once they were peacefully living together, Todoroki would be able to revisit this topic. But for now, sadly, he would not be able to grant Mitsuki’s wish to ‘cosplay as a mother-in-law’...

“Seriously, you’re so damn stubborn…” mumbled Bakugou under his breath, cautiously studying Todoroki’s expressionless demeanour to discern whether there was still more coming or if he was ready to give up on pointless family interactions for good. While he could understand - and maybe even sympathise a tiny, tiny little bit with - Todoroki’s child-like desire to have a close-knit family, this was nothing more than a temporary sham. Why go through the trouble of keeping their fake relationship going even while behind closed doors? “Just so we’re clear, you picked me for this ‘mission’ not only because we’re both getting something out of it, but also because there won’t be any trouble afterwards once we ‘break up’ and get a divorce. Don’t you dare forget this is purely a business transaction, so to speak.”

“...? Yeah, I know that,” said Todoroki, a bit confused about why Bakugou was bringing up something they had agreed on right from the start. He was about to ask him if he had any issues or doubts about it, but was interrupted by the entrance of the same clerk who had brought them to that private waiting room.

It was time for their appointment with a judge working on the civil registry.

The clerk took them to a small but comfortable office room, decorated with just a desk, enough chairs for both the public servant members and the visitors, a few bookshelves filled with books and other knick-knacks, and two tall filing cabinets, each drawer locked by key. All in all, it was your boring, bland corporate office that would drive anyone insane after spending a lifetime stressing over paperwork and bureaucracy in it.

The judge Todoroki had booked an appointment with was a tired-looking man in his mid-30s, albeit the dark circles under his eyes made him look nearly twice that age. He greeted them very dryly but still gestured to the chairs on the opposite side of the desk to invite them to take a seat.

“What can I help you with today?” The judge asked, picking up a pen from his desk in preparation to take any notes that may be needed.

“We want to get married,” declared Todoroki, his back as straight as an arrow as he sat down very politely. Bakugou, on the other hand, was a whole lot more relaxed and uninterested in acting like a teacher’s pet while occupying the chair next to him.

“I need you to fill in this marriage registration form,” explained the judge, grabbing a small stack of papers from one of the drawers on the desk. He passed them over to Todoroki alongside a pen. “Do you want us to update your family register at the city hall for an extra fee, or do you want to do it yourselves in person?”

“Yes, we’d appreciate it if you could do the update for us,” requested Todoroki, exchanging a quick glance with Bakugou. They were both busy people, with a work schedule that changed constantly. If there was a way to make the paperwork less time-consuming, they would go for it, even if it cost them more.

“Very well. If you have any questions about that form, don’t hesitate to ask,” said the judge, returning his attention to his computer to initiate his own side of the paperwork. “Meanwhile, I’ll need both of your birth certificates and proof of address.”

Both Todoroki and Bakugou had done their ‘homework’ beforehand and came prepared with the needed documents and personal information. The previous night, as Bakugou was getting ready for the following day, right before going to bed, he wondered if he should send a text message to Todoroki to remind him to bring the required documents. But then he remembered who he was getting married to. Unlike his idiotic friends, who needed to be babied by someone with a brain to not mess up any official procedure, Todoroki was actually an honour student with a good (albeit dense) head on his shoulders. Bakugou was sure he’d know what to do without any reminders, since he was so keen on getting married as soon as possible. This moment right here proved that Bakugou’s presumption had been correct.

‘Guess I can just sit back and let him deal with the pain-in-the-ass paperwork, concluded Bakugou in the back of his mind, glancing over at Todoroki (who was currently focusing on filling in the form) with the disinterest of someone watching paint dry. The marriage side of their deal was more to Todoroki’s benefit than his own, so in all honesty, Bakugou couldn’t care less about how it was done and the little details that went into it. All he wanted was a helpful scandal that didn’t besmirch his pro hero name and reputation. That was the main and only reason why he was letting Todoroki do as he pleased - within reason, of course. So long as we’re done here within a reasonable time, I should still be able to do a couple more hours out in the field. I did all of my reports in the morning and helped some of the sidekicks after my lunch break. That means Best Jeanist can’t get on my case if I do a bit of recon work while doing my rounds in the afternoon. ‘Gotta start smoking those lunatics out in preparation to raid their stupid headquar- “W-Wai- Hold your fuckin’ horses right there!!!”

Multitasking was one of the many prized skills Bakugou had long mastered; hence, it was quite easy for him to be planning out the rest of his day in his mind while he followed along from a distance the stuff that Todoroki was writing down on the marriage registration form. The moment he saw Todoroki scribbling the wrong kanji character in the wrong spot, Bakugou immediately jumped into action and snatched that sheet of paper from the table.

“‘The hell are you doing!? I’m keeping my name as it is!” hissed Bakugou, dividing his glaring between the half-filled form and the moron who had just messed it up and would have to start it anew. “Don’t unilaterally decide to give someone else a new family name!”

“But isn’t this the easiest way?” pointed Todoroki, the look on his expressionless face so innocent you’d think Bakugou was the one being unreasonable in this instance.

“How!?” Bakugou nearly growled, his glaring eyes tightening even more into a thin slit. His body language and overall aura were pretty much daring Todoroki to find a good explanation for this personal attack on his being.

“It’s a compromise,” said Todoroki very matter-of-factly, already motioning his hand towards the paper that had been stolen away from him. “Since his family name will be carried on this way, my father will lose half of the reasons why he could be against our marriage. Which means less time arguing back and forth with him for me and less time off from work needed to be wasted on ‘family time’ for you. So, again, this is the path of least resistance for everyone involved.”

………Damn it, he got me good with this one………, grumbled Bakugou in the back of his mind, grinding his teeth with repressed anger as Todoroki took the form from him. He crossed his arms over his chest, angrily leaned back on the chair, turned his head away, and, at long last, mumbled in a very sulky manner, “Fine… But you better be ready to deal with the consequences…”

Consequences of what?, inwardly wondered Todoroki, hesitating just the slightest as he kept looking at Bakugou. The only thing he could think of was the consequences of putting Bakugou in yet another bad mood and the payback he could expect to receive for it in the near future. But that was just par for the course for them, not something Todoroki needed to be scared of. I’ll just let him do whatever he wants with our new home. That should get us on even ground and put him in a better mood later on.

With that matter (sort of) settled, Todoroki proceeded with filling in the rest of the marriage registration form, every now and then asking some questions to Bakugou whenever he bumped into a piece of information about him that he did not possess. Fortunately, the judge responsible for their case did not even blink an eye at Todoroki’s lack of knowledge on the person he was getting married to - after all, nothing made someone lose faith in love and the sanctity of marriage better than spending years on end witnessing in person the mess that certain couples were about to bring about to their own lives.

“Okay, I think that’s it,” announced Todoroki as he closed the pen he had been using. He picked up the thin stack of papers and motioned them towards Bakugou. “Do you want to double-check them?”

“I want to tear them apart and burn their remains into ashes, that’s what I want…” grumbled Bakugou with a very sour voice. He yanked the marriage registration form from Todoroki’s hand and silently skimmed through each page, making sure there was no mistake or error that they would need to correct later on. Nothing pissed him off more than seeing half of his name being butchered into something else entirely, but he held his tongue and slapped the papers on top of the desk. Both Todoroki and the judge interpreted that as a sign that there were no problems with the form.

“The last thing I need from you is to sign or stamp both the original form and this copy here,” explained the judge after making a photocopy of every single page of the marriage registration form. “The copy will be staying in our archives, while the original form will be sent to the city hall that covers the area where your main address is located.”

“Is it possible for us to also take a copy home with us?” asked Todoroki, grabbing both the original and the copy in preparation to do as requested. “We’ll definitely need one as soon as possible. Preferably today.”

“Yes, I can get an extra copy done once you’re done signing the papers,” acknowledged the judge with a slow, tired nod. “It will take a couple of business days for your family registry to be updated. You’ll receive a letter to the address you wrote down once the process is completed. Also, due to the name change, I advise you to update your personal information everywhere else once the letter arrives, including banks, health insurance, driver’s license, workplace, and so on.”

“Great, more work for me…” begrudgingly mumbled Bakugou under his breath as he also did his thing and signed both versions of the form.

“With this, you are now officially married,” announced the judge as he, too, signed both marriage registration forms. He took the original and once again put it in the printer to get that extra copy his clients had requested. “Do you have any questions or need any other service provided by the courthouse?”

“No, this is all,” said Todoroki as he got up from his seat. He took the extra copy of the marriage registration form and offered a quick bow at the judge, as a thank you for not only doing the whole process so professionally and fast, but also for accepting their last-minute appointment.

Todoroki then glanced at the handful of papers he was holding - the physical proof that he was now a married man and, hence, had successfully managed to ruin his father’s plans for an arranged marriage with who knows who.

I guess Bakugou and I are really married now . Such were Todoroki’s thoughts as he and his fake spouse left the small office room and walked the same corridor until the private waiting room, from where they were then escorted to the same entrance they had passed through upon their arrival at the courthouse once they were done paying their dues and the extra fee. Even though they had been constantly talking about it for a while now, it still felt slightly unreal that they had truly done such a crazy thing in the space of a day. Had it not been for this unofficial ‘mission’, right now I wouldn’t be walking outside of the courthouse with a copy of our signed marriage registration form… Thinking about our marriage of convenience that way makes it feel a bit weird, though. I bet Bakugou must also be feeling this strange but not necessarily bad sensation about all of this…

“Alright, now that this part is done, it’s time we focus on setting up the remaining groundwork to make this mission a complete success,” casually instructed Bakugou as he put his hat and sunglasses back on, now that they were out in public once again. He also took a glance at his smartphone, both to check the time and to see if no one had been bombarding him with phone calls and text messages. Close to an hour had gone by since he excused himself halfway through his work shift, but it seemed the pro heroes and sidekicks he worked with every day were being more than enough to cover for his and Todoroki’s absence, seeing as there were no requests for backup. Disguise on, he turned his attention to Todoroki, who was blankly staring at him rather than covering up his easily recognisable identity. “What now?”

“You’re acting surprisingly calm and rational about this,” deadpanned Todoroki, finally putting on his hat to partially hide his scarred face. Since Bakugou had been switching back and forth between normal moody and sulking moody, Todoroki was expecting to hear him ranting and complaining about their married status the moment they stepped outside of the courthouse. But instead, Bakugou was promptly getting ready to commence the next step of their mission.

“I knew what I was getting into the moment I accepted teaming up with you, okay!?” hissed Bakugou, a frown instantly appearing on his face. He gave a light kick to Todoroki’s shin and then kept on walking. “Yeah, this pisses me off immensely, but even I know this is better than either doing nothing or slowly hunting those lunatics down one by one for the rest of my pro hero career. I’d rather redirect all of my pent-up frustration and resentment into reaching our goal as soon as possible than waste my time yapping about the methods we use.”

“Makes sense,” acknowledged Todoroki with a small nod. It was a good sign that Bakugou wasn’t pissed off to the point he’d be willing to self-sabotage their deal. Plus, he seemed to be raring to continue building the needed groundwork, much like he had said. That suited Todoroki just fine, as he had long decided what was the first thing they needed to do once they had signed their marriage registration. “In that case, let’s go.”

“Huh? Let’s go where?” asked Bakugou, so confused about suddenly having his hand grabbed and then pulled along that he inadvertently allowed it to happen in the first place.

“To my hero agency,” declared Todoroki, already eyeing an empty taxi parked near the entrance of the courthouse. “Since we have this extra copy with us, we might as well strike fast and suddenly.”

“...Huh?” blurted out Bakugou, his mouth hanging wide open for a couple of seconds as his brain processed those stupefying sentences. This exact same thing had repeated itself so many times in the past 24 hours that Bakugou was compelled to screech in a half-hearted panic, “WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LIKE THIS!?”

Chapter Text

Seriously, what’s with him and this crazy pace…? Bakugou grumbled in the back of his mind, his crimson eyes staring out the window of the moving taxi. I get that laying out a good foundation right from the get-go is the best way to go about it, but isn’t his timeline ridiculously fast?

No matter how much Bakugou thought about it, he still couldn’t understand what exactly was making Todoroki this desperate. It wasn’t as if Enji would physically force him to get married to a woman of his choosing - if anything, he was being quite diplomatic by allowing Todoroki to be the one picking a wife from the big ‘bride catalogue’ he had been creating. That gave Todoroki more than enough time to stall the arranged marriage and work on an appropriate, timely solution with Bakugou.

But no, instead, Todoroki was speeding through it all as if he wanted to break the Guinness World Record for fastest marriage.

Is stress scrambling with his brain or something? Or is he doing all of this out of spite because of what I told him last night? , inwardly sighed Bakugou, turning his gaze towards Todoroki, who was sitting next to him on the backseat, right after having spotted Endeavor’s Hero Agency - a tall skyscraper with endless floors and a considerably modern build for a hardcore traditionalist like Enji. Bakugou was quite familiar with the hero agency and knew its inner structure like the back of his hand, thanks to all the time he spent there during his internships. Ugh, who would have thought I’d one day come here for the express purpose of slapping the big boss in the face with a marriage certificate binding me to his son…? Damn it, I can already tell this is gonna be a huge pain in the ass…

“Hey, Half-and-Half Bastard,” called Bakugou as the taxi came to a stop next to the sidewalk. Todoroki promptly turned his face towards him, even as he grabbed his wallet to pay for the taxi ride. “Before we go in there and cause a freakin’ ruckus, we better work out some stuff first or else you can kiss goodbye to this whole ‘mission’.”

“Work out some stuff?” repeated Todoroki, his head slightly tilted. He gave the taxi driver the money requested, accepted the leftover change and then got out of the vehicle before he dived deeper into Bakugou’s foreshadowing words. “What is it that we need to work out?”

“A proper story to back up our ‘relationship’, obviously,” groaned Bakugou while rolling his eyes at the scatterbrained idiot he was now married to. “I bet Endeavor is gonna interrogate us once we tell him we got married, so we better come up with a plausible story to explain it. He’s not dumb, even if he can be almost as dense as you at times. He will know this whole thing is a sham if we can’t immediately answer his questions about us.”

“Oh. Right. That’s true,” said Todoroki, his body language perking up a little bit at it, despite his face remaining as passive as always. That was something he hadn’t given much thought to, but he could tell that Bakugou was on to something by bringing it up. He, too, knew that his father would relentlessly ask them question after question, not only to intimidate them but also to catch them lying red-handed. “So we need to give our fake relationship a proper background, just like in an infiltration or spy mission.”

“Exactly,” acknowledged Bakugou, so very thankful that Todoroki was so quick on the uptake. Rather than cross the street to reach the hero agency, he gave a quick jerk with his chin to gesture towards a nearby sidestreet, where they could take their time coming up with a good ‘love story’ to themselves without arousing the suspicion of any heroes and sidekicks currently working inside or around the building. After making sure the coast was clear, Bakugou leaned his back against the wall, grabbed his smartphone and opened a notes app. “Alright, let’s get this shit all planned out before something or someone dooms us. I’ll also be sending this to our morons, just to make sure they don’t accidentally blow our cover by saying something contradictory to the story we’re using.”

“Oh. That’s another great idea,” acknowledged Todoroki, nodding along to Bakugou’s stellar reasoning. He also hadn’t given much thought to their former classmates and how they would surely get swarmed by curious journalists and reporters dying to hear more information on Shouto’s and Dynamight’s relationship once they went public with their marriage. “When should we say we started dating?”

“The most convenient date for me would be shortly after we graduated from UA. That would explain why I’ve been keeping my private life a total secret right from the start,” pointed out Bakugou, already typing on the notes app. “That means… April. Pick a day. Any day except April Fool’s, obviously.”

“April 10th, then,” chose Todoroki after giving it a bit of thought. April would be easy to memorise, seeing as their pick for a month had a good explanation behind it. To aid him in remembering the day, he decided to use his own birthday as a mnemonic - he was born on the 11th, so he subtracted a day from that to use as their dating anniversary.

“Alright, what more do we need to know?” wondered Bakugou out loud as he added the day to his notes. “What kind of questions do you think Endeavor will ask us?”

“Hmm… Maybe about where we’ve been going out on dates?” suggested Todoroki, once again delving deep into thought. He didn’t have any dating experience, so he was having a hard time coming up with the sort of questions someone would ask a couple to learn more about their relationship. His father, however, was a married man. Todoroki doubted he’d struggle to interrogate them like two criminals about to be sent to prison. “Also, if we know things about one another, like what we like and such.”

“I often go hiking and mountain climbing on my days off whenever my work schedule allows it. Can’t ask for a better explanation why we have never been caught outside together,” Bakugou casually said with a shrug. “I’m not the type that takes photos everywhere I go, so sorry, he’s gonna have to trust us on this one.”

“Got it,” acknowledged Todoroki with a quick nod. He had no idea Bakugou was into that sort of thing, but it somehow seemed to match him perfectly. Todoroki did remember him being the most experienced and knowledgeable when he, Bakugou, Midoriya, Iida, Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero went camping on a snow-covered mountain as a part of their UA hero training. Now he had concrete evidence as to why. “Um… Do you have a favourite food? Aside from spicy food, that is. Mine is cold soba, as you know.”

“I’m not picky, anything spicy goes,” declared Bakugou without a care. This portion wasn’t necessary to the ‘love story’ script that needed to be shared with their former classmates; as such, he didn’t write this last one down in his notes. “In case the old hag didn’t mention it when she needlessly called you, her first name is Mitsuki, and my old man’s name is Masaru… I don’t have any siblings…”

“Yeah, that I already knew, save for your father’s name,” chuckled Todoroki, a bit amused at the bitterness in Bakugou’s voice as he brought up his mother’s insistence on talking with the man he was about to marry, even if just temporarily. “Oh, where do you live?”

“If you give it a tiny little bit of thought, you’ll figure it out. And don’t worry, I know where you live, so that covers that particular base,” remarked Bakugou as he jotted down some possible questions that might also occur during the big confrontation - whether it be with Enji or when making their relationship public. “You were the one all gung-ho about getting married, so we’ll just keep you as the one who proposed. I mean, you were the one who suddenly dropped a ‘Will you marry me?’ in such a random way that I thought you were about to die on me from a brain bleed or some shit like that.”

“Okay…?” said Todoroki, more in the shape of a question than a confirmation. He was still far too preoccupied with trying to figure out the answer to Bakugou’s previous cryptic words. He had absolutely no idea where he lived; he had never been invited there or had a reason to visit on his own initiative. It went without saying that he had also never discussed Bakugou’s living arrangement with any of his friends or former classmates. So why would Bakugou tell him he could figure it out if he thought about it? The city they lived in was pretty big; there was no way he would be able to narrow it down to a specific address on his own when not even the paparazzi that had made following Bakugou and uncovering all his ‘dark secrets’ their life mission had managed to squeeze any information from him since the day they went pro.

“As for the rest… well, I guess we’ll just have to improvise on the go,” sighed Bakugou as he saved everything he had written down on the notes app and locked his smartphone. “Since we’re doing all of this so suddenly and in such a rushed way, we haven’t had the time to finalise anything aside from getting officially married. The details of where we’ll be moving in together and so on will have to wait. You better not come to me to complain if your precious father tries to sabotage our moving progress with some sort of underhanded trick or last-minute mission, you hear me?”

“Don’t worry, I already have the perfect counterattack if he tries to be against us moving in together,” reassured Todoroki with an expressionless thumbs-up, something that came off as weirdly goofy but also slightly endearing. “Just like we agreed earlier, send me the address once you find an apartment to your liking, and I’ll be ready to move in the next day.”

“...What kind of counterattack? You having some sort of plan ready to be used beforehand is giving me a really bad feeling…” grumbled Bakugou with a certain hesitation, his gaze tightening into a suspicious scowl. The last time Todoroki made plans in a unilateral manner, they ended up in an unofficial mission that could have been used as the main theme for a comedy TV show. To say Bakugou already had warning bells ringing inside of his cranium would be an understatement…

“It’s nothing too problematic,” deadpanned Todoroki, his sixth sense telling him that Bakugou had totally misunderstood the essence of his ‘counterattack plan’. “I told my mother we’d be moving in together once we got married, and she immediately brought up the possibility of my father making a stink out of it. But she told me she’d scold him if he got in our way and to just proceed as normal.”

“Pfffft…!” Not having expected that sort of ‘counterattack’ in the slightest, Bakugou sputtered into laughter almost as soon as those words were out of Todoroki’s mouth. “So you asked mommy to come to your rescue? Fuckin’ hell, you are such a spoiled little prince, ain’t you? Pathetic, ahahaha!”

“Would you rather I ask Mitsuki-san to have a conversation with him?” Todoroki retorted back, sulking just a little for being made fun of this blatantly.

“Are you trying to start World War III or maybe even the war to end all wars!?” yelped Bakugou, his facial expression making a 180 from mocking to sickly pale. “That’s such a bad idea, I don’t even know how the heck such a thing crossed your mind!”

“I’ll move forward with my initial counterattack plan if needed, then,” announced Todoroki with a quick shrug of his shoulders, his face twice as expressionless. He was starting to notice a certain trend about Bakugou - he more easily backed down whenever his mother was mentioned in some way. For the sake of his own peace of mind and safety, Todoroki made sure to neatly store that information in his brain. My only problem with it might be knowing how much I can push before Bakugou goes ballistic on me. I should keep an eye out for that before I accidentally set him off…

“Tsk! Let’s just hurry up and get this done once and for all, so I can finally return to work before my shift is over!” grumbled Bakugou, his frowning face even more rugged and sulky. He angrily stomped out of the side street and made a direct beeline to Endeavor’s hero agency.

“Since you want us to take care of our own families separately, I’ll try my best to do most of the talking with my father,” said Todoroki after a small sigh and while running after Bakugou to catch up with him. “All you need to do is play along and not start a fight if my father starts rubbing you the wrong way.”

“I’ve worked under or with him enough times to know how to deal with his abrasive personality, thank you very much,” scoffed Bakugou, not taking those pieces of advice all that kindly. He was picked for this ‘fake marriage mission’ precisely because he could easily deal with the pro hero Endeavor. As far as Bakugou was concerned, this conversation was going to be a pain in the ass but also extremely easy, so long as no one ruined it with careless remarks. “Make sure you think twice before you open your big mouth and babble about the wrong thing.”

“I know,” acknowledged Todoroki while resolutely nodding at Bakugou. He might not look like it, given his perpetual blank demeanour, but he was taking this as seriously as he took his job as a pro hero. He would not risk making a mistake that destroyed all the progress they had made these last two days.

With all of that in mind, the two of them made their way into Endeavor’s Hero Agency. The entrance/lobby area was bustling with people, from sidekicks doing their jobs to civilians who were making reports or placing requests for help from pro heroes. Todoroki worked there, so he was used to all of that, but even Bakugou recognised quite a lot of familiar faces amongst the staff members.

“Well, well, well. Look who we’ve got here?” said a woman’s voice, a perfect mix of surprised and playfully amused. When both of them looked towards the source of that voice, they saw Burnin walking straight towards them, a big smirk on her lips. “Long time no see, Dynamight. It ain’t every day you grace our HQ with your glorious presence.”

“You know it. I’m way too busy being the strongest to be paying visits to the elderly,” Bakugou shot back instantly, a mischievous smirk also blossoming on his frowning face.

“Hah, the same little shit of always, ain’t we?” snickered Burnin, her smirk only growing as she happily slapped Bakugou’s back. This sort of back-and-forth bickering was the type of relationship they had, but all in good fun. Neither of them was hostile to the other; they simply maintained the same level of friendly banter both privately and professionally. “It’s always great to see you when you’re not blowing up with those pesky villains. Anyway, what brings you here? Are you and Shouto planning a team-up or something?”

“We’re here to talk with Endeavor,” explained Todoroki, resuming their walk towards the elevator that would bring them to the floor where the boss’s office was located. “I’m done with the stuff I had to do outside, and I’m also ready to report back to work. Is he still in his office?”

“Yup, still dealing with a crap ton of paperwork,” confirmed Burnin, pressing the elevator’s button herself since she was the closest one to it. Once the metal doors slid open and the two young men boarded the elevator, she jokingly gave them a haphazard salute. “Good luck with that~ He’s still sulking at the fact you had to disappear for a couple of hours in the afternoon without first running it through him.”

“Okay,” said Todoroki while inwardly tiredly sighing at that last comment. He thought that finishing most of his work scheduled for today during the morning would make his temporary absence in the afternoon not seem like a big deal for Enji. But it seemed Todoroki had thought wrong…

Due to the massive height and size of the skyscraper, it took Todoroki and Bakugou a good handful of minutes to arrive at Endeavor’s office. They had also passed by several people on their way there, from pro heroes of other agencies to staff members working on the logistics side of the business. The short interactions that occurred with a good portion of those encounters made them even slower to get to their target location.

“Endeavor, I’m coming in,” announced Todoroki as he knocked on the large, bulky wooden door. He didn’t wait for a proper response or acknowledgement; he still opened the door and walked into the office, Bakugou standing right next to him with the ease and relaxation of someone window-shopping at the mall.

“So you’re finally back,” drily said Enji, momentarily lifting his gaze from the document he was currently going through. However, when he saw that his son had arrived with company in tow, Enji was forced to do a double-take. “What is he doing here? Shouldn’t he also be outside working rather than slacking who knows where?”

“...hello to you too…” grumbled Bakugou under his breath, loud enough to only be audible to Todoroki. Someone sure seemed to be in a bad mood right now. Pity they would have to make it even worse in a matter of seconds.

“We need to talk,” simply announced Todoroki, making sure the door was closed before moving to Enji’s desk and taking a seat on one of the chairs placed in front of it. He waited for Bakugou to also take a seat before he grabbed his wallet and started removing a folded sheet of paper from inside it. “It’s about my arranged marriage.”

“Oh…?” Hearing that, Enji’s gaze suspiciously tightened even further. He placed the document he had been reading for the past few minutes on the desk and turned all of his attention to his son. “What about it? Have you selected one of the young ladies in the pocket folder I gave you yesterday? That was fast.”

“No, I’m here to formally decline any arranged marriage offers from here on out,” declared Todoroki right away, no hesitation or dread showing on his calm but unwavering tone. He then proceeded to place the copy of their marriage certificate right on top of Enji’s documents. “I’m already married. I can’t accept any of the bride candidates you’ve selected.”

“............E-Excuse me?” Enji blurted out after a long, silent pause, his voice cracking a little bit once he finally managed to produce any sounds with his quivering vocal cords. Since he didn’t receive any clarification from his son aside from a resolute, expressionless stare, Enji scrambled to grab the paper he had been offered. The moment Enji saw what that form was and the names and signatures in it, his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. “WHAT!?”

“As you can see, we’ve gotten officially married today,” explained Todoroki, enunciating each word as peacefully as a priest holding mass. In comparison, Enji seemed to be nearing a flabbergasted heart attack, his big, bulky hand trembling all over the place as his eyes darted back and forth to read the entire document. “Our family register should be updated in a couple of days, but the deed is done and already fully processed by the courthouse. It would be impossible for me to marry any of the women you’ve picked for me, so I’d appreciate it if you could get in contact with them and tell them there will be no arranged marriage after all.”

“W-Wha- Why- How…!?” stammered Enji, too shocked to formulate a complete sentence. By the time he reached the end of the marriage certificate and saw his son’s signature right there, clear as day, he was ready to explode. He sort of did so literally, as a couple of flames burst from his face and shoulders and trembled against the air, as if they too were quaking under their creator’s rage. “What is the meaning of this!? What exactly have you done!? Is this your next attempt at rebelling against me!?”

“Not really, I simply got married to the person I’ve been dating for the past three years,” said Todoroki with a small shrug. In actuality, he had indeed gotten married to Bakugou as a rebellion against their family traditions, but he obviously could not reveal half of their plan to one of their ‘enemies’, now could he?

“Dating…!? For three years!?” yelped Endeavor, turning his flabbergasted turquoise eyes back and forth between his son and the young man leisurely sitting next to him. He had absolutely no idea what was happening or what Todoroki was talking about. “How come I, no, no one has ever heard anything about this!? Do you think I’m dumb enough to fall for such a simple trick!? This is obviously a doctored marriage certificate! There is no way you two are dating, let alone married to one another!”

“We did get married. Like I said, our family register will be updated in a couple of business days, so you can check it out yourself if you doubt that copy,” sighed Todoroki, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes at his father’s hissy fit. “Also, there are people who do know about us dating. You can ask Midoriya or any of our former classmates. They will all say the same thing and confirm our relationship.”

“N-No, there’s no way this is…” muttered Enji, the trembling grip of both his real hand and the robotic one replacing his lost limb already starting to crease the copy of the marriage certificate. Out of the blue, he redirected his sight and his anger to one specific entity inside his office. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SON!?”

“What do you mean, what have I done!?” Bakugou hissed back, finally joining in the ongoing argument. Despite the perpetual frown present on his face, he forced himself to appear extremely shocked at that accusation, which wasn’t actually that far off from the truth. He pointed with his index finger at Todoroki while also leaning his upper body closer to Enji’s desk. “He was the one who came to me, and he was the one who proposed, again, TO ME! If you want to throw blame around, make sure it hits him, not me!”

“See!? There’s no way you two are actually dating! He just threw you under the bus without thinking twice!” roared Enji, sending one more fiery glare at Bakugou before he switched back to his son. “If you two were truly in a romantic relationship, he would never sacrifice you just so he wouldn’t get yelled at! He’d take some responsibility and apologise!”

“He’s telling the truth, though,” deadpanned Todoroki, still relatively at ease despite having his father fuming mad right in front of them. He was indeed the one who approached Bakugou and then proposed they have a ‘marriage of convenience’ in order to accomplish their goals. In other words, it could be said that Todoroki was the one who first ‘confessed’ his ‘love’ for Bakugou and, later on, the one who ‘asked for his hand in marriage’. Todoroki had to yet again hail praises at the ease with which Bakugou twisted words and events around at his own convenience. If he weren’t so famous as a pro hero already, he’d be a really good infiltration agent among the villain crowd.

“Grrr… In that case, when did you start dating!?” barked Enji, still not willing to throw in the towel and admit that his youngest son had gotten married behind his back to the man he had also been dating behind his back.

“April 10th, right after we graduated from UA,” Todoroki replied instantly, giving the impression that he had memorised that specific date since it was so meaningful for his relationship with Bakugou - which, at the moment, was also very much the truth. When he saw Enji getting ready to bark the next interrogation question, he took the initiative and stole his thunder. “We’ve been meeting every now and then for a meal out and talking on the phone on the days we can’t meet in person. Most of our dates happen when Bakugou invites me to go hiking or mountain climbing with him, just the two of us. Aside from that, we meet and spend time together in our apartments whenever our schedules match. That’s how we’ve been able to keep our relationship mostly a secret from the mass media, and why Bakugou has been keeping his private life well separate from work all of these years. Do you have any more questions, or can we go back to work already?”

“Ngh… The way you are springing this up on me now, rather than when we were discussing your arranged marriage during lunch yesterday, is far too convenient and suspicious…” grumbled Endeavor, slapping the copy of the marriage certificate on his desk. “Yeah, my gut feeling is telling me something weird is going on here… I mean, you guys don’t even call each other by your first names, and you’re telling me you’ve been dating for three years and are now married? Yeah, no way! I call BS! I’m not falling for a trick so simple-minded that even a kindergartener could see through it!”

Ugh, at this rate, we’re gonna be here the rest of the day and still come out as the losing side, all due to Endeavor’s sheer stubbornness…, groaned Bakugou in the back of his mind. When he sneaked a glance at his smartphone to check the time, he felt like outwardly groaning a second time. He was a busy man, and he wasn’t supposed to be absent from his post the entire afternoon, even if Best Jeanist and a few sidekicks were currently covering for him. We need to end this ASAP before I lose my patience, before this moron says something on impulse that implodes our plans, or before Endeavor gets too pissed off to hold a proper conversation…

But what else, other than continuing to debate with Enji in an attempt to convince him they were truly dating, could he even do? The family register wasn’t updated yet, so there was no way to instantly prove that the copy of the marriage certificate they had brought with them was the real deal. Contacting the courthouse was also not an option, even if they used the personal contact that Todoroki had taken advantage of to book a last-minute appointment in the family court department. Seeing as their marriage was the only concrete proof they had at their disposal at the moment, if Enji refused to believe the evidence they brought him was real, then there was little they could do. They had their hands completely tied at the moment - something that irked and annoyed an already extremely impatient Bakugou to no end.

Argh, shit! This is why it’s always better when I’m the mastermind behind any plans, schemes and ploys! If I want a job well done, I have to be the one doing it!, inwardly screeched Bakugou, finally hitting the limit of his thinning patience. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and since words weren’t getting through Enji’s thick skull, maybe actions would do a better job at convincing him otherwise. I hate the fact I’ve been cornered to this point but fuck. This. SHIT!!!

After nearly grinding his teeth into dust, Bakugou lightened all the tension on his jaw at the same time he lunged his hand towards Todoroki. Before his ‘spouse’ had had any time to say anything, he grabbed the front of his t-shirt and gave it a yank strong enough to force Todoroki’s upper body to lurch in his direction. Now that he was at just the right distance, Bakugou used his free hand to secure Todoroki’s head in place by cupping his face and then did the unthinkable.

Yes, Bakugou kissed Todoroki. In the mouth. He might or might not have even used a bit of tongue for maximum efficacy.

Meanwhile, Bakugou made sure to use the hand cupping Todoroki’s face to strongly pinch his earlobe in a very obvious sign of ‘play along for the time being, and we’ll be out of here in a matter of seconds’. Despite the clear message, though, no one aside from Bakugou actually managed to decipher it.

Todoroki might have played along flawlessly, creating a kiss scene worthy of an Oscar award, but that was only because he was far too dumbfounded to have any reaction, leaving the entire ordeal in Bakugou’s hands… and mouth.

After what seemed like an eternity to nearly everyone concerned, both actors and audience alike, Bakugou finally pulled away, his rosy lips glossy from the remnants of the kiss.

“Happy now, or do you need to watch even more happening? ‘Cuz my balls are big enough to full-on make out right in front of my father-in-law,” declared Bakugou, a knowing smirk on his lips as he lightly wiped them with the back of his hand. “I’m saying no to anything more than first base, though. Neither of us is into that sort of voyeuristic crap, doubly so when family is involved.”

“..................”

Much like his son, Enji was completely petrified behind his desk, his mouth hanging wide open from shock, even after the kiss had ended. The only thing that gave away that he was still alive was the steady movement coming from his expanding and retracting ribcage. Apart from that, Enji was as good as a living statue.

“Yeah, sounds like we’re done here,” Bakugou remarked after obtaining silence as his answer. He got up from his seat and gave a quick tap to Todoroki’s shoulder to urge him to do the same. Bakugou started walking towards the office door, with Todoroki following him just a few steps behind, but he stopped halfway there. “Oh, right. We’ll be moving in together in a couple of days. He’s gonna need some days off from work for that and for the press conference we’re hosting to disclose our relationship and marriage to the public. You'd better start adjusting everyone’s work shifts to account for his absence, like, today. I’d say… yeah, a full week is more than enough for us to get all of that stuff sorted out and enjoy our honeymoon period to its fullest. That’s all. See you around, father-in-law, hehehe.”

The awkward silence followed them all the way to the corridor, all the more so with no one else around that area aside from the two of them. That made the return trip to the elevator a whole lot faster, even if the slightly tense mood made it feel otherwise.

“Um…” Once they reached the elevators, Todoroki took the initiative to press the call button, which, in turn, made it easier for him to finally say something. “About what-”

“An important portion of our ‘mission’ has been accomplished, so just forget about it,” sighed Bakugou while rolling his eyes around, interrupting Todoroki in the process. He knew what he was about to say, so there was no use listening to it. The moment the elevator’s door slid open, Bakugou promptly got inside and turned around to face Todoroki. He pressed the button that would take him back to the ground floor without breaking eye contact. “If forgetting is impossible for your slow, dense brain, either think of it as one heck of a once-in-a-lifetime benefit or as a bad experience akin to being bitten by a dog. Now let me go back to my god damned job, for fuck’s sake!”

“Oh.” That little gasp was the only thing Todoroki managed to say before the elevator door started closing and Bakugou vanished from his sight. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was supposed to do now, so he just stood there, right in front of the elevator, absentmindedly staring at his own distorted reflection. “...A bad experience akin to a dog bite…”

Such words weren’t the first, the last or the in-between descriptors that Todoroki would have ever used to recount this incident he had just shared with Bakugou. He couldn’t even categorise it as something bad altogether. Then, did that mean that kissing Bakugou was the former, a once-in-a-lifetime benefit?

As Todoroki began walking to the changing room to switch back to his hero costume, he caught himself thinking that putting a quantitative limitation on it from the get-go was quite unfortunate.

Abdicating such a clever method to prove their relationship when facing doubtful bystanders this early in their ‘mission’ seemed like a total waste, in his honest opinion…

Chapter Text

Ugh, this damn unofficial mission is getting me more tired than a full week of work…, groaned Bakugou on the back of his mind, having finally made it back to Genius Office, the hero agency he was currently stationed at.

To say he was itching to go back outside and go hunt down some evildoers in the name of releasing some stress would be an understatement. His cranky mood was most likely showing on his face, even with him still wearing his ‘disguise clothing’, hence why no sidekick or staff member was approaching him despite definitely needing him for something after his way-too-lengthy absence.

He had long outgrown the rank of ‘sidekick working for Best Jeanist’ and gained his current status of ‘pro hero jumping around from hero agency to hero agency depending on who needed him the most’, but perhaps out of habit or maybe even complacency, Bakugou was still a big supportive pillar in the hero agency where he started his career. As for where that complacency came from… well, it was a two-way street. Depending on someone stronger and extremely competent made everything much easier and smoother for everyone, whether there was an emergency or not. And, of course, having a place to fall back on once this or that big mission was successfully completed was the sort of safety line that brought about stability, both professionally and privately.

“With how late it already is, I’ll get a couple of hours out in the field, but I can kiss goodbye to doing some investigation on those lunatics…” sighed Bakugou as he waited for the elevator to get to the ground floor. Even if his meeting with Endeavor didn’t end up taking as long as it would have had he not taken the reins of the conversation, it was still an unplanned detour that destabilised the schedule he had crafted for the rest of his day. “Tsk, trying to do some overtime to compensate for the lost hours would mean having to listen to that jeans-obsessed freak narrate the new hero labour laws on scheduling and work hour limits all over again… A sermon is the last thing I need right now, thank you very much…”

Thinking about said laws indirectly reminded Bakugou that yet another thing he needed to do was update his personal info in all official documents and databases. It was one more annoyance he had to deal with, despite having such a busy schedule already. It wasn’t something hard to do, but it was definitely time-consuming, not to mention monotonous and aggravating.

“Ugh, might as well get a portion of it already rolling so I can use the inertia as motivation to get it done asap before I rage-quit the whole thing…” grumbled Bakugou under his breath as he walked inside the elevator after letting a couple of people unboard it. Rather than pressing the button to the floor where the changing room was located, he instead went directly to the top floor, where Best Jeanist’s office was.

Genius Office was located in a building far simpler and less showy compared to Endeavor’s Hero Agency, but that didn’t mean the time it took for Bakugou to get to his target location was any less. If anything, he was stopped for much longer whenever he crossed paths with sidekicks he was very well acquainted with due to their lengthy service under Best Jeanist’s wing or staff members scrambling around like headless chickens because the people who they needed to report to were currently out patrolling or on a mission outside the agency’s ‘territory’. Even though he was used to it by now, these interactions still mystified Bakugou a little bit.

Overall, he wasn’t all that well-liked by the general population, most likely because of his aggressive personality, habit of cussing even while out in public, and inability to take part in any sort of people-pleasing promotional activities that fostered the type of cult of personality that most pro heroes aimed for. He simply wasn’t a good fit for the ‘always smiling, life of the party’ perception that the majority of people had for how heroes should be. However, he was extremely popular with fellow pro heroes, sidekicks and those who had support roles within the hero trade. Some even said that Bakugou - or better yet, Dynamight - was the heroic epitome that all heroes should learn to run under, from his well-rounded repertoire of attacks and strategies to his managerial skills. And, of course, he was also eerily popular with villains and the underworld, but that was a conversation for another time…

Bakugou couldn’t exactly complain about any of that, as it was a direct result of the kind of society they lived in after the big war, but he still had some gripes about it. Not that he would ever say so out loud or share his thoughts with other people. He knew very well what would come out of such a conversation, and he couldn’t stand the thought of it alone.

“Hey, Best Jeanist. I’m back already,” announced Bakugou, not even bothering to knock before opening the door to the boss’s office. Since he knew the inside of that office so well, it didn’t take him more than a second to spot an inconsistency in there. “‘The heck are you doing here? Isn’t today your day off?”

“K-Kacchan!” gasped Midoriya, a happy smile promptly appearing on his face when he turned around and saw his childhood friend stomping inside. He gestured towards the handful of documents in one of his hands. “I remembered I still had these with me and since I had the time, I decided to pass by and give them back to Best Jeanist.”

“They’ve been returned, now go home, you shitty workaholic,” nearly hissed Bakugou as he yanked the documents out of Midoriya’s grasp.

“You have no right to call anyone a workaholic,” sighed Best Jeanist, slowly shaking his head in disapproval at what he just witnessed. “You didn’t even take half a day off on the day you were booked to get married.”

“If I had been given a better timeline, you can bet I would have!” Bakugou retorted instantly, glaring at Best Jeanist as he slammed the paperwork on the desk. “My patience is hanging by a measly, feeble thread so don’t test me, Shitty Nerd!”

“Why are you suddenly turning this on me!?” yelped Midoriya, raising both hands up in the air as a display of his innocence on this matter. Rather than give him a proper reply, Bakugou simply scoffed a ‘hmph’ and turned his head in the opposite direction. After a couple of seconds, Midoriya slowly lowered his arms, carefully discerning if even such a simple movement would set him off once again or not. “Err… I take it that your courthouse wedding with Todoroki-kun went according to plan…?”

“Nothing that involves that guy goes according to plan…” begrudgingly grumbled Bakugou, his frowning features darkening even further. He pulled his hand away from the desk and crossed his arms over his chest, one of his fingers impatiently tapping against his muscled upper arm. “His idea of a rushed marriage is messed up. Someone really should send him to the hospital to check if his brain is still intact or if he dropped half of it somewhere out there.”

“Yes, it’s certainly weird that he picked you for such a mission, but well, Shouto has always been an unusual rendition of denim, so to speak. I can’t say I’m overly surprised he came up with something that most people would have never thought of,” concurred Best Jeanist, elbows leaning on the desk as he entwined his fingers in front of his face. “So long as both of you manage to complete your goals with it, I can’t complain much, though. It’s not like I can dictate what you can do outside of your working hours, only advise you to not go ballistic against that villain group that ‘adores’ you so much. If you aren’t careful, your moves against them might be branded as an act of vigilantism, even with your hero license. Keep that in mind, Bakugou.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know the law and how to circumvent it to my benefit, thanks for the warning,” sighed Bakugou with a showy, exasperated roll of his eyes.

“T-That’s not as reassuring to hear as you think it is, Kacchan…” hesitantly pointed out Midoriya, inwardly cringing at the frightening words that had so easily slipped out of his childhood friend’s mouth. Good thing it was just the three of them inside the office at the moment…

“Anyway, since I’m stationed here for now, I need you to update my paperwork and hero license,” said Bakugou, pretending not to have heard that little, needless comment from Midoriya. “It’s faster to do it through you than go all the way to the Hero Public Safety Commission myself.”

“Why? Marital status doesn’t affect anything about your employment,” asked Best Jeanist, an eyebrow slightly arched behind his meticulously combed blond bangs.

“.........Different last name………” grumbled Bakugou, his face so scrunched up with a frown that he looked as if he had just been forced to swallow a particularly bitter pill.

“........................................................................”

The entire room fell into a deep, tense silence. Best Jeanist didn’t display much of a reaction aside from staring completely flabbergasted at Bakugou, but Midoriya was incapable of remaining as calm. As the weight and actual meaning of those words sank in, his face became more and more terrified, to the point his open mouth and wide eyes combo resembled that of a famous screaming painting.

“Y-Y-You changed…” stammered Midoriya, far too scared to finish that sentence. No wonder Bakugou was in such a bad mood… He doubted his childhood friend was super attached to his family name. He wasn’t even all that protective of his first name, which made it possible for someone like Midoriya to continue addressing him by such a childish nickname even as adults. If anything, ‘Bakugou Katsuki’ was simply the name he had been carrying his whole life. However, given the current circumstances, Bakugou must not be all that happy to have to make so many concessions and changes to his life, all because he was being harassed by a cult-like group of villains.

“Hmm… It’s going to be quite complicated to have three different Todorokis working as pro heroes simultaneously,” pointed out Best Jeanist, already focused on the logistics side of that matter.

“Ya think!?” barked back Bakugou, so peeved by that simple comment that he kicked the desk’s leg just like a little kid throwing a tantrum. “Just get a move on with it, will ya!?”

After that last hiss, Bakugou angrily turned around and started stomping towards the door. Midoriya and Best Jeanist simply exchanged a knowing glance with one another, both thinking they should weather the storm in silence in hopes it would make it end sooner. But just as they were about to breathe out a sigh of relief, Bakugou suddenly halted halfway through the door.

“Why are you still standing there, Izuku!? I told you to go home already!” snarled Bakugou, glancing over his shoulder at Midoriya with his furious crimson eyes. It was physically impossible for him to leave the room just like that without throwing one last shot at his childhood friend, so he did so before slamming the door shut behind himself.

“W-We might have some rough weeks ahead of us, haha…” Midoriya awkwardly laughed after the next few seconds of peaceful silence proved that Bakugou had left for good.

“I’m sure he will calm down once this initial period stops playing with his always fraying patience,” pointed out Best Jeanist with a small shrug. “Give him a couple of days, and he will redirect all of his pent-up frustration into the creation of an elaborate web of silky fine strategies that will land the remaining members of the villain group in prison. At least, that’s what I want to believe…”

“Ahaha… Unpredictability often goes hand-in-hand with Kacchan’s plans, so it might all work out in the end, I guess…” added Midoriya, his tense smiling face a mask to hide how nervous he actually felt about that whole side mission. He had felt like that since the previous night, when Todoroki told him about it, but he was choosing to be supportive of his friends’ decision rather than try to reason with the unreasonable. “My only concern is… Well…”

“How long will they be able to keep it going, and if they’ll get all things done before then?” said Best Jeanist, easily reading what was currently going through Midoriya’s mind - mostly because he was thinking about the exact same thing. He paused to consider everything for a couple of seconds and then lowered his crossed hands to the desk. “Both Bakugou and Shouto have a strong sense of duty and are extremely stubborn. They might actually be able to stay married and live together for far longer than we think possible. After all, they do get along reasonably well and work together even better.”

“Hmm… I guess that’s true…” Midoriya also gave it a good thought, his head slightly tilted to the left and arms crossed over his chest. “They can be a dream team if they put their mind to it. It’s just that since they are both under so much stress because of their individual problems, they might end up arguing more than usual. I wouldn’t put it past Kacchan to kick Todoroki-kun out of their new home because he rubbed him the wrong way with an innocent comment or for messing up with some house chore. That used to happen again and again while we were living in the dorm, minus the kicking out…”

“Being put in the doghouse is simply part of the ‘being married experience’,” chuckled Best Jeanist, smoothing out his bangs with his hand. “It’s nothing that Shouto won’t be able to deal with, I’m sure. You don’t have to worry about them so much, Deku. They’ll be just fine. Probably…”

“Haa… Looking out for the two of them from a distance might be the only thing we can do for now, I guess…” sighed Midoriya, still far from being set free from his worries. Despite his decades-long self-training in data analysis, Midoriya couldn't predict the outcome of such an unusual mission. Had it just been a battle against a villain, it would be one thing. But their ‘enemies’ were Todoroki’s father and their family traditions, and a group of unhinged cult members that viewed Bakugou as their evil god. The sheer number of variables in that alone was certainly a disaster in the making.

However, no matter how worried Midoriya might be, he was fully aware it wasn’t up to him to interfere with their decisions. If this had been an official mission, he could have provided them with proper back-up, seeing as he was also a pro hero. But this was something Bakugou and Todoroki were doing by their own initiative, mostly while outside of their working hours. They were also free to get married and move in together for whatever reasons they might have. And last but not least, Bakugou would get royally pissed off at him if he tried to butt in on his private life.

I can already consider myself lucky that they decided to tell me and the rest of our former classmates the truth. If I get too involved in it without his permission, I’m pretty sure Kacchan will axe me from the information train… All in all, deep inside, Midoriya knew that he truly could only support them from a distance, at least until the unofficial mission turned into an official one.

He was worried about them, but they were all adults with their own lives. Besides, all of them had done plenty of growing up these past few years. The disaster that Midoriya envisioned when he thought about Bakugou being married to Todoroki out of convenience might not be as bad with this present older version of themselves…

Nope, I can’t…! As things stand, I can’t help but think this is going to end up going really, really badly! Ahhhh, if only Todoroki-kun hadn’t been so dead set on marrying Kacchan in record time, I might have been able to talk him out of this and helped him pick someone more suitable to marry temporarily, while also convincing Kacchan to create a formal request for an investigation on the villain group targeting him to the HPS Commission. But they just had to go and get married 24 hours after making that mutual help deal! I know Todoroki-kun can be a bit dense and unaware when it comes to societal norms and relationships, but this is far too extreme of an overreaction to Endeavor’s unreasonable family traditions! Not to mention, I still can’t believe Kacchan was willing to consider such a plan, let alone actually follow through with it! Is it a Quirk? Were they affected by some sort of Quirk while Kacchan was arresting that member of the villain group? Ahhh, this is all so insane, I’m also about to go crazy!

“...ku. Deku!”

“Y-Yes!?” yelped Midoriya, his body flinching from head to toe and straightening upon hearing his hero name being repeatedly called while he was deep in his mumbling trance.

“If you’re worried about them to the point you think you might start losing sleep over it, just go talk with them,” suggested Best Jeanist, leisurely getting up from his desk so he could give a couple of comforting pats to the youngster’s shoulder. “Sometimes, to enjoy a good pair of jeans, you need to break into the denim by wearing it at uncomfortable times. The same goes for people and relationships. I would never tell you to go interrogate Bakugou, as that would be akin to a death sentence for you, but you’re close friends with Shouto. Go bother him with questions until your worries vanish.”

“Y-Yeah… Yeah, you’re right,” said Midoriya, first while meekly nodding, but soon his confidence ballooned into a resolute confirmation. He happily grinned at Best Jeanist and began excusing himself, as he had definitely overstayed his drop-off visit by a long shot already. “Thank you very much, Best Jeanist. Good luck with the rest of your shift!”

“Ah, to be young again…” chuckled Best Jeanist as he watched Midoriya leave his office with his batteries all recharged. Hopefully, his little piece of advice would help Midoriya not be such a worrywart while also keeping him from accidentally detonating the powder keg known as Dynamight for the millionth time. For all his weird peculiarities, Todoroki was also a very good friend, and as such, he would surely do a good job helping Midoriya accept and overcome this awkwardness he felt over his childhood friend’s sudden marriage with such an unexpected partner, even if said marriage was just a temporary, business-like exchange.

Best Jeanist was quite pleased with himself and the wonderful growth of the next generation of heroes when he came to a halt mid-sitting back down. A new realisation had just popped up in his mind, and he was at a loss about what to do about it now.

“Ah… I should have also told Deku to be careful about the type of questions he asks Shouto. He and Bakugou have such great potential when it comes to team-ups and partnerships. It would be beyond tragic if Deku accidentally made things awkward between them because of this mission…”

Chapter Text

Even as Todoroki stepped inside his apartment, fresh out of his shift, he was still busy with swirling thoughts as he mulled over a certain dilemma. Or better yet, he had two big dilemmas on his hands, but only one of them was currently keeping his brain very well entertained.

The dilemma was quite simple, maybe even stupidly so, but that didn’t matter to Todoroki. As far as he was concerned, this was a very serious matter that he needed to find an answer to as soon as possible.

So I say, but I’ve been thinking about it since we both went our separate ways, and I still have no idea where it is that Bakugou might live… Todoroki sighed in the back of his mind, making a beeline for his kitchen to warm up the food his sister had given him. Yes, Bakugou’s current address was the big dilemma that he was stuck processing. Go figure. I missed my chance to check it myself through the proof of address that he brought to the courthouse. And since we’re about to move in together, we used our respective hero agencies’ addresses as the location they can send any letters or documents to, so there’s no use in checking the copy I showed to my father either…

Before their meeting with Enji, while they were planning their ‘relationship background’, Bakugou had mentioned that he knew where Todoroki lived, and that Todoroki, too, would be able to figure it out if he thought about it.

Well, that turned out to be a complete lie.

He found absolutely no clues about it in any text message he exchanged with Bakugou or their former classmates. He didn’t remember ever talking about Bakugou’s apartment or listening to any conversation that had brought up that kind of topic. He wasn’t even sure if Bakugou had ever invited anyone over, be they friends or coworkers.

Todoroki could think of a handful of ways he could find Bakugou's address, like asking Mitsuki about it via texting or interrogating a certain someone with an innocent bad habit of stalking his childhood friend, but he felt that such strategies would be a total breach of privacy. Not to mention, if Bakugou ever found out he did such a thing behind his back, getting locked out of their new home would be the smallest of his problems.

So here he was, scavenging through his memories to find any clues that might narrow down the list of potential neighbourhoods where Bakugou might live. So far, nothing had come to mind.

“At this point, I should just give up and ask him directly…” Todoroki mumbled under his breath as he carried his dinner to the dining table. After setting the table and taking a seat there, he grabbed his smartphone from his pocket and placed it on the dining table too. Todoroki had made up his mind to either text or call Bakugou once he was done with his dinner.

To distract himself from that big mystery, he decided to turn on the TV and check the news. He was quite relieved that no big scandals were being announced that night. It meant that no one had caught them in the courthouse earlier that afternoon and that no one had accidentally leaked any information to social media or any such public place.

They hadn’t discussed yet how they should go about announcing their marriage to the world, but Todoroki was sure that Bakugou would be able to come up with a great plan to milk the entire situation for all its worth. They needed to make sure they were the talk of the town via the press conference they’d be hosting, but they also had to turn it into a wholesome, convincing act that made them look like your regular newlywed couple. Bakugou wanted to make himself appear to be a normal person who just so happened to be a genius and the strongest pro hero in Japan, rather than a god-like entity that had to be worshipped. A cute, lovey-dovey press conference would certainly ruin the perception that the group of villains harassing him had of Dynamight, maybe even make them give up on him altogether.

…No, I doubt it will be that easy…, sighed Todoroki to his own buttons, his heterochromatic eyes focused on the news segment covering the investigation being made about the bank robbery Bakugou had helped deal with the previous week. As far as the public was aware, all that was being done about it was routine searches and interrogations of both perpetrators and victims/witnesses. But those in the law enforcement and the pro hero fields knew better than that. I doubt announcing our fake relationship and marriage will have much of an impact on the villain group. I’ve only seen one of their members, but if that’s how they all act, then their convictions and beliefs are far stronger than whatever message we might publicly put out there during the press conference. They might even become more desperate and aggressive, thinking that I’m stealing Bakugou from them and corrupting the god of murder and death they worship.

If that ended up being the case, then it was a good thing that Todoroki was also a pro hero. He could easily deal with angry, jealous cult members and arrest anyone who tried to retaliate against him or any of their friends and families. Bakugou hadn’t married a defenceless nobody, but the person he shared the title of ‘Top Two’ with. He was helping Todoroki with his family feud and even making compromise after compromise just so he could have the marriage that officially freed him from an arranged marriage sponsored by his father. The least he could do for Bakugou was cooperate as much as possible with the takedown of the villain group.

“I’ll ask him about that too after-” concluded Todoroki, quite satisfied with himself for having found a compromise that benefited his ‘spouse’ above all else. He would have kept riding that wave of satisfaction until the end of his dinner had his smartphone not started ringing out of the blue. The caller ID told him that Bakugou was the one contacting him. Todoroki didn’t even need to think twice about answering. “Hello?”

“I’ve found the perfect spot for us to move in together,” announced Bakugou right away, forgoing all greetings and pleasantries. “It’s an apartment smack dab between your hero agency and the ones I usually work at. It’s also super close to a train station and all that stuff. Two bedrooms, each with its own bathroom and toilet, plus an extra room that can be used for whatever we feel like. The kitchen, dining area and living room are in the same division, but it’s big enough for two grown men to do their own stuff separately without constantly bumping into one another. Also, it has one big balcony, since it’s on the top floor of the apartment complex. Last but not least, the security in the building is just perfect to keep both lunatics and paparazzi far, far away from my private life.”

“Okay,” said Todoroki after he swallowed the food he had been eating throughout Bakugou’s lengthy sales pitch. “When can we move in? Also, what’s the rent?”

“We can move in whenever. The rent was initially 200.000 yen per month, but I managed to haggle it down to just 170.000 yen. Though we do need to also pay for the security deposit, moving in fees, and yada yada,” announced Bakugou, the tone of his voice hinting that he was quite happy with his negotiation skills.

“That’s pretty cheap for what it is,” noted Todoroki, one of his eyebrows slightly arched at hearing such a weirdly low monthly rent. A 3-bedroom apartment on the top floor of an apartment complex with pro hero-grade security, located right in the middle of a bustling city, was usually double, sometimes even triple, the cost Bakugou had just given him. “So what’s the catch?”

“Huh? There’s no catch, I’m just that good at finding good deals in the real estate market,” scoffed Bakugou, his voice dropping a couple of octaves into sulky territory.

“...............” Sometimes, complete silence said more than any words ever could, and that was doubly so when the aforementioned silence was coming from Todoroki’s disbelief, a twinge of suspicion sprinkled in.

“Ugh, you’re such a pain in the ass!” groaned Bakugou out of exasperation after a couple of seconds of waiting for anything at all. He loudly sighed and then finally grumbled, “The previous resident died in there, okay? Now no one wants to rent or buy that place, no matter how big of a steal the price might be. I couldn’t care less about crap like that, so accepting such a great deal suits me just fine. I never had any issues with where I currently live, and I bet it’s gonna be the same there too. But if you’re stupidly superstitious or scared of ghosts or whatever, I’ll look for a different apartment, I guess… Ain’t no way we’re getting a better deal than this one, though. Don’t come crying to me if my next find has double the rent of this one!”

“...............” Well, that certainly was not the kind of catch Todoroki was expecting to hear.

He was thinking something along the lines of the location being in a sketchy area of the city or it needing some serious repairs here and there, not that the property was basically the most controversial type of akiya vacant houses. Hardly anyone in Japan wanted to live in a place where someone had passed away. That reluctance automatically made the property value of those locations drop like a rock to the bottom of the real estate market.

During the big war against the League of Villains and their associates, quite a lot of people ended up dying before they could escape to the safety of one of the shelters sprinkled all over the country. The damages incurred during the merciless battles between good and evil also destroyed a good portion of the buildings in highly populated areas. The rubble and ruins left behind were later demolished and rebuilt anew, erasing most of the buildings where human lives had sadly been lost. However, although ‘haunted’ locations where someone had previously died were extremely rare as of now, they could still be spotted in areas that weren’t as intensely rebuilt.

“...I can’t tell if picking such a place to live just to get a discount on rent is on brand with your ‘great explosion murder god’ persona or not…” deadpanned Todoroki once he was done processing such surprising information. Now he was even more curious about where Bakugou lived, as he had alluded to currently renting a different akiya location. “What is it like living there?”

“What kind of question is even that!? It’s a freaking apartment, just like any other! Who cares if someone dropped dead in here before I took a step inside? It’s not like I’m living in an active murder scene, the whole apartment was professionally cleaned way before I started looking for a place to live!” Bakugou hissed, inadvertently becoming slightly defensive after being asked such a bold question. “The housing market has been hellish for years now! You gotta use all the deals and bargains you can find, or else your bank account is gonna get drained right before your eyes. So this is the last time I’m asking you, are you game or are you gonna make me look for a different apartment that is ridiculously expensive for the little hours we’ll be spending in there per day!?”

“No, I’m okay with that apartment,” said Todoroki, trying his best not to chuckle at Bakugou’s hissy fit. “If you say it’s a good location for our current needs, then I’m on board with it. Even if someone died there in the past.”

“Keep annoying me like that and there will be two deaths associated with that address…” warned Bakugou, his voice almost a cold growl. “I’m gonna go call the realtor to tell him we’re taking it, even if you change your mind after sleeping on it. By- ”

“Wait, don’t hang up!” gasped Todoroki, his back straightening instantly when he realised Bakugou was about to end their conversation. He inwardly let out a sigh of relief as Bakugou mumbled a sulky ‘What now?’ soon after. “Where do you currently live?”

“Huh? What does that matter to you?” asked Bakugou, still feeling extremely salty about this conversational topic. “We’re about to move in together, so you not knowing where I currently live won’t impact our fake marriage much, so long as you don’t babble about it to the wrong person.”

“No, I was just… We’re both taking some time off from work, right? I was wondering if you wanted some help moving your stuff… or something…” suggested Todoroki with a certain hesitation. For some reason, he was getting weirdly self-conscious about having made this offer on impulse. He could still feel a genuine interest in the mystery address dilemma; there was no changing that. But in a matter of seconds, that curiosity shifted into something more as it dawned on him that they were on the verge of living together once again. “You had mentioned before that we should make a spectacle out of moving in together so… I figured that could be a good first place to start…?”

“Oh, right. There was that too, wasn’t it?” By the sound of his voice, it looked like Bakugou had forgotten about that portion of their previous conversation. It wasn’t all that surprising, as no concrete plans had been made about anything aside from their rushed marriage so far. However, now that Todoroki had brought such a suggestion back to the table, Bakugou was carefully thinking about how beneficial that sort of scheme would be for their ‘mission’. After a couple of minutes of this, Bakugou finally sighed and announced his verdict. “Alright, go to your balcony for a bit.”

“My balcony?” repeated Todoroki, feeling a bit lost about that sudden instruction. Was Bakugou about to indicate the direction of where his apartment was located or something along these lines? Despite his incomprehension, Todoroki nevertheless did as told and got up from the dining table, quickly reaching the glass door leading to the location in question. As soon as he opened the door, his face was greeted with a sticky, warm summer wind, even as the sun set far away in the distance. Thanks to his Quirk, such muggy weather didn’t bother him much, but the difference between the outside and his air-conditioned apartment was still like day and night. “Okay, I’m outside.”

“Great, look down,” tiredly sighed Bakugou, his voice sounding so very fed up but also… weirdly echo-y?

“Oh,” gasped Todoroki, his eyes opening slightly more out of surprise. At first, when we looked down, all he saw were the balconies of his downstairs neighbours and the buzzing street he had walked by so many times in the past two years. But right afterwards, an unmistakable mass of spiky blonde hair popped up into his field of view from right below, at a distance that was an exact copy of their days living in the dorm. Once again, it took a couple of seconds for Todoroki to process what he was seeing and all the implications behind it. “...We’re neighbours? How come I had no idea about it?”

“Hah, that’s what you get for being a dense idiot with zero situational awareness,” scoffed Bakugou, his voice coming from both Todoroki’s smartphone and the balcony below. “Though well, I also made sure it stayed like that. You’ve been a great cover-up for my current address. No one would think Dynamight lives right below Shouto, hehehe. So thanks for your contribution to my peaceful private life!”

“You’re using me to hide in plain sight?” deadpanned Todoroki, his usually expressionless face becoming even blanker as he intensely stared at the smug expression on his neighbour. Thinking more closely about it, yeah, that did indeed sound like something Class A’s resident gremlin would gleefully scheme behind everyone’s backs.

“It’s called ‘misdirection’, a funny little trick that all magicians worth their salt have mastered,” explained Bakugou, the mischievous smirk on his lips widening even further. “Since you’re so bad at disguising yourself, you’re constantly being spotted by everyone, both journalists and paparazzi, and regular citizens. With all of that focus on you, no one would be paying all that much attention to the apartment right below yours, right? And before you start accusing me of taking a page out of Izuku’s bad vices, I moved here first, okay? I found this place and moved in pretty much right after we graduated! You renting the apartment above mine later on was just a convenient coincidence that I learned to use to my own benefit!”

“I see…” said Todoroki, closely listening to Bakugou’s informative clarification. Unusual methods aside, it sounded like his former classmate had simply been using the cards he had been dealt in the best way he could. In other words, it was just Bakugou being Bakugou. “You could have said something, though. It’s not like I’d ask you to stop whatever it is you’re doing, since it hasn’t bothered me at all.”

“Yeah, no, thanks. I know very well what would happen if I gave my address all willy-nilly to any of you,” scoffed Bakugou while rolling his eyes around. His job there was done, so he pulled himself away from the railing he had been leaning on and started walking back inside his apartment, far away from Todoroki’s gaze and the intense summer temperature. “I had to put up with living at the dorm with you guys for three years, I could use a good, lengthy break from the mess you invite everywhere you go. I called it ‘peaceful private life’, right? Well, let’s just say it wouldn’t be as peaceful if you guys kept barging in whenever you feel like it!”

“I highly doubt anyone would be stupid enough to come visit you unannounced,” deadpanned Todoroki yet again, likewise returning to the comfortably cool interior of his apartment. As he locked the balcony door behind himself, he thought a bit more about what he had just rashly claimed. “...No, actually, some of our former classmates would be stupid enough to come visit you unannounced…”

“See!? Now do me a favour and keep my address a secret from all of those pests, even if I’ll only be here for a few more days,” hissed Bakugou, feeling irked at just the prospect of those unannounced visits. “Also, this might be a conversation for later, but I’m just gonna go ahead and say at least this much already! We need house rules while we’re living together! And rule number one is we need two ‘yes’ before we invite someone over! Family is obviously an exception, but if you dare to bring any of those pests there out of the blue just because they begged you, I am gonna lock all of you outside until I’m done cooling down!”

“That’s a bit unreasonable, but I’ll try my best to keep that in mind,” sighed Todoroki, fully aware that caving in and allowing Bakugou to have his way with the ‘house rules’ was the best way to keep their new living arrangement as drama-free as possible. However, he had to agree they needed to have a nice, lengthy conversation about the entire moving-in process and how to use their cohabitation as a way to conclude their unofficial missions. “Actually, we should-”

Todoroki was about to suggest having that conversation right now, since they were already at it, but the invitation ended up being cut short by the sound of his doorbell. Someone had rang his apartment from down below the apartment complex’s front door.

“Sorry, it seems I have a visitor,” said Todoroki, feeling surprisingly sad that he had to put a stop to their phone call. It wasn’t every day he could have such a productive conversation with Bakugou, so he was starting to really enjoy himself. This interruption was quite unfortunate, indeed…

“I also need to call the realtor and let him know we’re taking that apartment, or else someone as smart as me will snipe it from us and get that sweet deal instead,” added Bakugou, his voice trying to mask how eager he was to get said ‘sweet deal’. By the looks of it, the prospect of living in a place where someone had died truly did not faze him in the slightest. As expected of a battle-hardened warrior who went through hell and came out of it stronger than ever, Todoroki couldn’t help but think.

“I’ll talk to you later, then,” added Todoroki at last, which was only reciprocated with a small acknowledging grunt. The next thing he heard was the clicking sound of the phone call ending. After one more disappointed sigh, Todoroki left his phone at the dining table next to his now-cold dinner and leisurely walked to the entrance area.

Much like in the majority of modern apartment complexes, Todoroki’s apartment came with an intercom by the front door, which he could use to unlock the main entrance of the building without needing to set foot outside. It also came with a built-in camera, so Todoroki was able to see with his own two eyes who this mystery visitor of his was ahead of time.

To his surprise, it was someone he knew just as well as he knew Bakugou.

“Midoriya…”

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry for dropping by so suddenly, without even a warning beforehand,” said Midoriya apologetically as he removed his shoes while in the entrance area of Todoroki’s apartment.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” reassured Todoroki, patiently waiting for his friend to be ready to come inside before guiding him to the living room area, which was just a couple of steps away from the entrance. If there was one thing he had learned about Midoriya throughout the years, it was that he never did something without a reason. It was very unusual of him to show up at someone else’s home out of the blue, all the more so when their go-to way of communication was phone calls and text messages. As such, if Midoriya came knocking on your door, there was a very high probability that an extremely serious conversation was about to go down.

“Oh, I even interrupted you while you were eating dinner…” mumbled Midoriya, feeling even more guilty about his last-minute visit when he saw the half-eaten meal neatly spread out on the dining table.

“My food went cold a long time ago. You really have nothing to apologise for, Midoriya,” deadpanned Todoroki, fully aware that the reason why his dinner had been placed on the back burner was definitely not his friend’s fault. The true culprit was actually Bakugou’s phone call and the ensuing lengthy conversation that came from it. Todoroki could easily tell Midoriya precisely that, but, for some reason, he felt it would be for the best to keep all of that to himself. “Do you mind if I continue eating while we talk?”

“Not at all,” said Midoriya, his panicky expression softening to a smile. Todoroki asked him if he wanted to eat something too, as the good host he was, but he declined, since he had already eaten before coming by.

With that, they both sat at the dining table, with Todoroki returning to his home-cooked dinner while Midoriya occupied the opposite seat.

“So, what is it that you want to talk about?” asked Todoroki right away after he finished chewing the first bite he took. Midoriya’s body flinched just a tiny bit at that direct question, which solidified that he was right on the money. “Did something happen at work, even though today was your day off?”

“No, no, everything is going just fine on that front,” denied Midoriya, shaking his head so fast that his face momentarily turned into a blur. Once the head shaking ended, he nervously fidgeted around with his hands. “It’s just, I was in the area so I decided to pay you a visit… or something… I do want to talk to you about something, but it doesn’t have anything to do with work. Or at least it doesn’t have anything to do with official work… A-Anyway! I saw Kacchan earlier today just as he returned to Best Jeanist’s agency, but since he was in such a bad mood, I couldn’t ask him anything… H-How did your courthouse marriage go…?”

“It was surprisingly easy and fast,” shortly explained Todoroki before popping a bit more food into his mouth and slowly chewing it. “We came in with all the documents needed, so I simply had to fill in the marriage registration form with both of our personal information, and then wait for the civil worker officialising our marriage to do the rest. From what he told us, our family register should be updated in a handful of business days, but as far as the courts are concerned, Bakugou and I are now officially married.”

“I-I see,” acknowledged Midoriya, nervously gulping down the hard lump in his throat while he nodded along. “I bet Kacchan was sulking throughout the whole process. All the more so after losing his original family name… Um, speaking of which… Why did you decide to change his family name to yours…?”

“It’s just one more pawn to use against my father,” said Todoroki with a quick shrug. “Since he’s so obsessed with reputation and the family name, I figured he’d more easily accept our marriage if Bakugou took on ours. Besides, he’d be one more person carrying on the family legacy. Complaining to have one of the strongest pro heroes in Japan as his son-in-law would be going against everything my father believes in.”

“T-That makes sense, yes…” acknowledged Midoriya yet again. In all honesty, such a reason made too much sense, to the point he had to wonder if such a ‘pawn’ was truly something Todoroki had only come up with a day ago, but he decided to keep quiet about it for the time being. Then again, he needed to stop dancing around the subject and get to the point that had actually brought him there, even though knowing the truth might bring about so many chaotic changes to so many people. Midoriya took a long, deep breath, calmed down his nerves as much as possible under these circumstances, and asked, “Todoroki-kun, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but do you mind if I ask you something about this unofficial mission you’re doing with Kacchan…?”

“Hm? Sure.” Todoroki was a little bit confused about the sudden shift in Midoriya’s demeanour, but he nevertheless went along with it. His friend was going to be a big help as their plan moved forward, so Todoroki thought it was only fair to discuss as many details about it as possible beforehand, if only so they wouldn’t be contradicting one another once their marriage went public.

“Why Kacchan?” asked Midoriya. His voice was a bit hesitant at first, but once those two words were out of his mouth, he found it easier and easier to add more and more to that question. “I understand what it is that both of you are trying to do, but there are so many different strategies you could try first before going forward with something so drastic. I know it can be challenging to deal with Endeavor and his unreasonable demands, but it’s not like he’d force you to marry someone of his choosing. He wouldn’t even try to back you against the wall until you had no choice but to accept the arranged marriage proposal. Before jumping into a marriage of convenience with Kacchan, you could have, I don’t know, organised a family meeting where all of you talked about your dislike of that family tradition, or hired an actress to take on the role of your girlfriend until you managed to talk Endeavor out of an arranged marriage. And the same goes for Kacchan. He should have gone to the Hero Public Safety Commission and put in a formal request for a full-fledged investigation into the villain group harassing him, rather than trying to solve that entire issue all on his own… What I’m trying to say here is that it makes no sense why you’d choose to deal with those two problems with such a crazy method rather than go through more normal and direct routes. I mean, between my suggestions and your current plan, there’s hardly any difference in how probable they are of being a success, so it’s not even a matter of which is better and more likely to get you the results you want…”

“Midoriya, I think you’re failing to see a very important detail about this mission,” sighed Todoroki as he lowered his chopsticks to his plate and left them resting there next to his half-eaten dinner. “We’re not going for the drastic plan from the get-go. We’re doing it because we’ve already exhausted all other options, one way or another. You’re right when you say my father wouldn’t physically force me to marry someone of his choosing. But that doesn’t mean he won’t keep trying until he gets what he wants. He has already failed to honour that family tradition with all of my siblings. I’m his last chance to do it. He’s fully aware he has lost the control he used to have over me, and he also knows how badly he messed up when it comes to his family, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to throw away what has defined him as him for nearly his entire life. He’ll keep pushing us so he can regain that control back, even if unconsciously, and add more strain to our family’s relationships. Things have finally gotten to a point where everyone is comfortable with their new status quo, I don’t want to be the reason why all of that gets destroyed…”

“Todoroki-kun…” mumbled Midoriya, initially having had the intention of offering some comforting, reassuring words but stopping himself almost right away. There was no use in trying to convince Todoroki of the opposite when he was the main reason why his family had been able to reach their current coexistence. Had Todoroki not rebelled against his father during his first year of high school, Midoriya couldn’t see how those strained family relationships and bonds could have been rearranged in such a transformative but beneficial way. If he were to begin another rebellion against his father, his mother and siblings would also get dragged into it, and what they had built these past couple of years could very well return to the starting line irreversibly.

“While I agree with you that there are other things I could have tried before going forward with my marriage of convenience with Bakugou, no other solution could have assured that everyone involved came out of it unharmed,” added Todoroki after letting out another tired sigh. “Besides, bringing a completely unrelated woman into my messy family feuds could very well end badly, both for her and for me. Bakugou is able to deal with my father without breaking a sweat, and he’s also aware of everything that happened in the past, so he’s one of the most compatible partners for this ‘mission’. As for Bakugou’s side of the deal… I can’t tell you how he truly feels about it and the harassment coming from that villain group, but I think the fact he accepted this plan almost right away speaks for itself, in a way.”

“True, Kacchan isn’t one to accept any plan he isn’t certain will succeed,” chuckled Midoriya, fully in agreement with that last assessment about his childhood friend.

“I doubt Bakugou hasn’t thought about going through the official channels to be able to deal with his ‘followers’ for good. He always goes for the best path of least resistance whenever formulating a plan, after all. So something must be stopping him from doing exactly that,” pointed out Todoroki, relaxing a bit more now that the topic isn’t his family. “The biggest problem I see with requesting a formal investigation through the HPS Commission is how good they are at staying hidden. Bakugou has been the only one capable of arresting some of its members, even though Best Jeanist and a few other sidekicks have been trying to help him out. In other words, they only reveal themselves when Bakugou is around or to request that Bakugou be the one to deal with them. That means that having more people involved in their investigation wouldn’t be of any help. If anything, it would remove pro heroes, sidekicks and other staff members from cases where they are needed the most. To sum it up, it would be a waste of resources and personnel.”

“Yes, if Kacchan is truly the only person who can directly interact with that villain group, involving more people in it would not only not help solve the case but would also negatively affect the safety of the country as a whole,” acknowledged Midoriya, nodding along with his own words. He had thought about both of his friends’ problems time and time again, but he hadn’t considered any of the points Todoroki had brought forward. “Still, arresting an entire group all on his own would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. It will take Kacchan ages to get them all, since he’s doing it mostly outside of his work hours, unless they cause an incident somewhere, like with the fake bank robbery.”

“That’s where I come in,” announced Todoroki with a resolute nod of his head. “If us going public with our marriage won’t disillude them of Bakugou’s ‘godhood’, then I’ll be aiding him in arresting them. With how deluded they are about their ‘murder god’, there’s a very high chance they won’t like me all that much. They might think I’m stealing their ‘god’ or tainting him or something along those lines. That might lead them to also come after me, making it a bit easier to capture them without involving innocent people in it.”

“Oh, you’re right. That might actually be a good method to force them to reveal themselves, even though it isn’t necessarily all that safe for you or Kacchan,” said Midoriya, falling into deep thought right afterwards. Such a plan would not only lessen the burden on Bakugou, but also reduce the number of potential future victims.

“I’m a pro hero, I’m used to dealing with villains,” deadpanned Todoroki in an attempt to minimise the danger he was actually signing himself up for.

“Then… does that mean you think you’ll be able to make it work?” asked Midoriya, returning to his meeker demeanour once he was satisfied with his internal analytical muttering. “I mean, even if it’s for the sake of a ‘mission’, you still got married to Kacchan. Plus, you’ll be living together once again. Both of your goals might take months… maybe even over a year to accomplish. Will you, you know, really be able to stay married to him for that long…?”

“...............”

At first, when this crazy plan had just popped up in his mind by sheer coincidence, Todoroki had asked himself the same question. Would he be able to stay married to Bakugou for the sake of his goal? For the most part, their marriage of convenience was comparable to a give-and-take business deal, in which both parties got something out of using one another. No special feelings were involved in it, and they would only have to keep that charade going while out in public or when in front of Endeavor. Although there wasn’t a concrete deadline for the termination of their deal, they had both mutually agreed to get a clean divorce once they had achieved both of their objectives.

Taking all of that into consideration, then yes, Todoroki was sure he’d be able to stay married to Bakugou until the very end of their deal. After all, this was just a ‘mission’, a part of his job as a pro hero. That was the answer he had found to that question.

And yet, Todoroki was now finding himself unable to give that very same answer to Midoriya.

“I don’t think I’ll have any problems being married to Bakugou, but…” Todoroki started, carefully picking his words before he spoke them. After a small pause to figure out how he should phrase it, he finally sighed and finished what he was saying. “But I do have a couple of concerns about it.”

“A couple of concerns?” repeated Midoriya, an eyebrow slightly arched at those stiff, overly formal words.

“You know, at times it’s really hard to figure out what exactly Bakugou is thinking,” admitted Todoroki, his gaze momentarily switching to his half-eaten dinner. “Living with him will be just like when we were at the dorm, for the most part, but that doesn’t mean he’s easy to understand. Adding that to the fact that he’s extremely independent and prideful, I can’t help but wonder all the time how far I’m actually allowed to go.”

“As in…?” Midoriya asked for further clarification, as the actual meaning of Todoroki’s words was currently eluding him.

“As in, he has been very adamant about keeping our families out of our fake marriage and dealing with them separately, so long as that doesn’t affect my side of the mission,” explained Todoroki, all while he struggled to come up with the best examples to express said concern. But ultimately, he could only truly narrow it down to a single instance as the best example for that other dilemma he was currently dealing with. “But on the other hand, he kissed me as a way to prove to my father that we’re really in a ‘relationship’.”

“I see, I se- …………Wait, Kacchan did what !?” At first, Midoriya simply listened closely to what his friend was saying, every now and then nodding at it. But then his ears caught what was probably the craziest thing he had ever heard in his entire life, maybe even surpassing that entire unofficial mission.

“It was the best, fastest way to convince him we’ve supposedly been dating for three years now and had finally gotten married,” pointed out Todoroki in a very leisurely fashion, light shrug of his shoulders included and all. “I figured that just bringing him a copy of the marriage certificate would do, but he’s being even more stubborn and pigheaded than I thought he’d be… The conversation was going nowhere, and accusations were already being thrown around, so maybe Bakugou got annoyed at it? Anyway, it worked. The kiss shut up my father, and everything that needed to be said about us moving in together and the upcoming public announcement was said. That proved that such a trick is extremely effective in proving that we are in a romantic relationship. Bakugou said it was just a once-in-a-lifetime benefit, but I think it would be too rash of us to put such a convenient trick on the sidelines when it’s just day 1 of our married life.”

“T-T-T-That might be the case, but… Huh? Wait, hold on,” said Midoriya, getting visibly more confused and panicked as Todoroki kept on adding to that baffling confession. “So you think that k-k-kissing Kacchan in front of other people would be a good way to prove you are dating? W-Would you even be okay with something like t-that in the first place?”

“We’re married, so I don’t see how that would be an issue,” declared Todoroki with the ease of someone announcing today’s weather report.

“Y-Yeah, but you aren’t married for real, right?” pointed out Midoriya, trying his best to reason out with his friend. However, it was quite hard to hold a proper conversation when they both held different standards and thoughts about the topic in question.

“Yeah, but the whole process and the marriage itself are real,” Todoroki reiterated while giving his friend yet another relaxed shrug. “The forms we filled are real, the judge who officiated our courthouse marriage was real, and the updates to our respective family registers are real. So, for all intents and purposes, we are married for real. Married couples kiss and all that, right? Then it’s fine for us to kiss too.”

“.....................”

Midoriya wanted to say something back to all of that insanity, but he was having a hard time coming up with the right words. Todoroki’s logic - or lack thereof - was weirdly solid and foolproof. Yes, they had indeed gotten married in the official sense. Yes, married couples did kiss. Yes, none of that would be considered wrong, both in the legal and societal sense. However, and this was a huge however, Todoroki was failing to take into account the fact that he and Bakugou were not a couple !

“Um… T-Todoroki-kun, I’m not really sure how… I’m supposed to explain this to a grown man, but… Err… Okay, first things first, why don’t you think about what you just said for just a little bit longer and try to spot how crazy you sound right now…?” hesitantly requested Midoriya, his attempt at making his friend wake up from whatever delusional fever he was currently falling victim to. Because yes, that was the only plausible explanation for whatever was going on here.

“...? I don’t think I’m saying anything that outlandish, but okay…” For as confused as he might be, Todoroki decided to humour Midoriya and reviewed everything he had just told him in the last couple of minutes. His conclusion was… “Yeah, I don’t see any problems with it.”

“O-Of course you don’t…” winced Midoriya, currently feeling like banging his entire face against the dining table. Before he resorted to a concussion to forget this conversation, however, he decided to give logic and common sense one last go. “Alright, let’s suppose you made this deal with someone else rather than with Kacchan. How would you feel about k-kissing that person as a way to convince others you two are in a relationship?”

“That would never happen,” promptly denied Todoroki, his head slightly tilted and eyebrows furrowed in a clear indication that he didn’t like such a supposition all that much. “It was me bumping into Bakugou yesterday that helped me come up with this precise plan. If Bakugou wasn’t involved in it, none of this would be happening right now, and I’d still be trying to figure out how to decline my father’s ridiculous arranged marriages.”

H-Huh…? I feel like… I just heard quite the life-changing revelation just now… , Midoriya squeaked in the back of his mind, drops of cold sweat already starting to run down his temples. “Um… Todoroki-kun, could it be… that you, um… l-like Kacchan…?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” Todoroki asked back without a drop of hesitation, his head promptly returning to a straight position. “He’s a friend, of course I like him.”

“T-That’s not what I meant…” nearly sobbed Midoriya, assaulted by a second wave of this intense urge to blow a hole into the dining table with his head. “I mean as, you know, like like. The r-romantic type. The ‘I want to marry you’ kind of liking someone, you could say.”

“I don’t think so,” said Todoroki after considering Midoriya’s amended question. “It’s not like I’ve ever thought about wanting to marry him.”

“No, you clearly have, since you were the one who came up with that plan…” tiredly sighed Midoriya, his way to cover up the cringing scream that wanted to break free from his vocal cords. He was forced to realise all over again how hard it was to hold a conversation with someone whose baseline was radically different from his own. Midoriya wasn’t willing to give up just yet, though. If anything, he was now more determined than ever to uncover the actual truth. “Then… if Kacchan had declined your proposal, would you have tried to find someone else to have a marriage of convenience with…?”

“No, that would be way too troublesome,” denied Todoroki, this time not having to think all that much about Midoriya’s question to know his answer to it. “This arrangement works because both of us are getting something out of it and are on the same page about the entire process. It just wouldn’t be the same thing. In fact, marrying anyone but Bakugou would be the same as holding an arranged marriage of my own volition, which you already know I’m against.”

A-Again, I feel like I just heard one hell of a confession…! , yelped Midoriya in the back of his mind, his sweat already starting to wet his clothes despite the pleasantly air-conditioned insides of Todoroki’s apartment. “So, um, what you’re trying to say is that it’s okay for you to marry Kacchan, but anyone else would be a no from you?”

“I guess you could put it that way, yes,” said Todoroki with a single nod of his head. After having answered so many questions, he was starting to wonder what exactly was this important matter that Midoriya wanted to discuss with him. Surely he hadn’t gone out of his way to visit him just because he wanted to talk about their unofficial mission, right? That was the sort of thing that they could have just discussed during a phone call.

“I-I see, ahaha…” acknowledged Midoriya, a hollow, tired laugh sneaking its way out of his lips. He had to laugh, one way or another, or he’d find himself passing out from shock. There was dense, and then there was whatever it is that Todoroki Shouto was… How exactly can someone be this blind, but also ridiculously obvious at the same time…? No wonder Kacchan was grumbling about wanting to send Todoroki-kun to the hospital so the doctors can make sure he’s a-okay in the upstairs department…

It truly was a mystery of nature, one that Midoriya had no idea how to crack at the moment. Maybe he wasn’t actually meant to figure it out until the source of said mystery had some sort of breakthrough or awakening that made him realise the reason behind why he was so eager to marry Bakugou and Bakugou alone.

“I guess all I can say is good luck, Todoroki-kun…” sighed Midoriya, a rueful smile somehow climbing all the way to his face. The clueless look on his friend’s face made him sigh all over again. “I wish good luck to Kacchan, too… Both of you are really going to need every little bit of it that you can get, at this rate…”

“Why does everyone keep wishing us good luck…?” mumbled Todoroki under his breath, feeling just a tiny little bit miffed at that friendly, supportive comment. It was as if several people around them were already thinking of their plan as a failed endeavour from the get-go. “Is it really that weird that Bakugou and I are teaming up?”

“I-I wouldn’t say it's weird per se, but even you have to admit that this mission is being done under very unusual circumstances,” pointed out Midoriya, softly scratching his cheek to try to mask his embarrassment. “You and Kacchan might be able to work wonderfully well together when it comes to pro hero matters, but such private issues are… Well, I wouldn’t say not as much, but it’s not like you’re particularly close either, especially with how busy everyone has been since we graduated from UA. Plus, um… You two do bicker quite a lot when you’re together. I guess there’s this clash of personalities and you are both equally as competitive, so… Yeah, we can’t help but worry a bit, that’s all.”

“Is that really how my relationship with Bakugou looks like to others? Because that’s not the impression I have of it,” confessed Todoroki, the sulking glint on his face melting back into his usual expressionless demeanour. “Sure, we might argue a lot, but that’s mostly because Bakugou always holds me accountable for what I say and do. He doesn’t hesitate to point it out whenever I mess up, and he also won’t think twice about calling me out whenever I start slipping back into previous bad habits, which I guess causes some friction between us at times. Most importantly of all, he never once pitied me or treated me with kid gloves just because I had a rough upbringing. You guys probably don’t do it on purpose, but all of you always avoid talking about my father or my family while I’m around, unless it’s really needed. Bakugou doesn’t do that; he just gives it to me straight, whether I want to hear it or not. While I do appreciate all of your help and support so far, sometimes it gets a bit too… stuffy, I guess. I find it much easier to discuss my family matters with Bakugou because he deals with them like any other conversation or problem. Oh, I guess that’s another reason why Bakugou is the only right fit for this mission, now that I think about it…”

……You’ve already said all of this stuff and done all of these rash things in record time, and yet you’re still finding more reasons as to why Kacchan is the one… huh… Midoriya sighed inwardly, finally raising the white flag now that he heard Todoroki’s true thoughts about Bakugou and their ‘mission’. While he still had his reservations about it, maybe it was for the best that their problems were being solved in such a weirdly roundabout fashion.

Todoroki would get an escape route out of family traditions he disagreed with without blowing up his family’s well-deserved peaceful status quo, and Bakugou would get at least one strong ally to aid him in his quest to take down the villain group that was trying to recruit him to the dark side. Unorthodox methods aside, they did seem to have a well-thought-out, solid plan. They also seemed to be taking several precautions to mitigate any future issues such a plan might cause, even if it might look like a jumbled mess to outsiders.

Continuing to press Todoroki-kun for a proper answer won’t take me anywhere as things stand right now. Maybe once he starts interacting more with Kacchan as a married couple and spending more time together with him at their new home, he’ll connect all of these extremely obvious dots and finally understand why he sees Kacchan as the only one worthy of being married to him, concluded Midoriya in the back of his mind, this time while outwardly sighing. He placed his hands down on the table, palm-side down, and got up from his seat. “Well, I won’t interrupt your dinnertime any longer.”

“Eh? Didn’t you want to discuss something important with me, Midoriya?” interjected Todoroki, his mismatched eyes opening wider just a tiny little bit.

“This was that important something,” awkwardly chucked Midoriya as he rubbed the back of his still sweaty neck. “I just wanted to confirm some things about your and Kacchan’s ‘mission’, for the sake of my own peace of mind. Well, that has been done, so it’s time I let you get your rest after working all day.”

“I had a pretty big break in the afternoon, so I’m not that tired,” deadpanned Todoroki, alluding to all the time he had spent at the courthouse with Bakugou. Midoriya simply chuckled a little bit at it.

With that exit announcement, they talked for a couple more minutes while Todoroki walked Midoriya to the front door. Midoriya used this chance to let him know that he had successfully contacted everyone on his share of the list so now the entire Class A was aware of what was going on and, likewise, Todoroki told him that they’d be sending all of them more information about their fake relationship soon so that everyone would tell the same story when asked about them. That brought Midoriya’s sudden visit to an end.

“Okay then,” mumbled Todoroki under his breath as he walked back to the living room area. He used the fiery half of his Quirk to lightly heat up the remainder of his dinner and quickly shoved it down the hatch. It was getting pretty late; he’d better get a move on or he’d run out of time.

Once his dinner was cleaned off the plates, Todoroki brought the used tableware to the kitchen and placed it inside the sink, all ready to be washed once he dealt with some more important tasks. On his way out of the kitchen, he grabbed both his smartphone and house keys before walking out of his apartment.

Since his new target location was so close by, Todoroki decided to forgo the elevator and headed straight to the stairs. It didn’t take him even five minutes to reach a different front door, one that he was seeing for the first time, even though he had been living in that apartment complex for several years now. He calmly rang the doorbell, but then followed it with a knock on the door, to hint that the visitor was already at the front door rather than downstairs at the entrance of the building. After waiting for a little bit, the door slowly opened.

“This is exactly why I’ve kept my address a secret from all of you pests…” grumbled Bakugou, a pissed off frown creasing his face. “Why the hell are you knocking on my door at this god forsaken hour!?”

“I told you I’d talk to you later, right?” pointed out Todoroki, his head innocently tilted to the left as he wondered why Bakugou was beginning to kick up a fuss about something he had warned him about beforehand. “My visitor has left already, so I’m here to continue our conversati- Oh.”

It went without saying that Bakugou slammed the door shut in his face.

Chapter Text

“You have exactly 5 minutes before I take you outside of my apartment together with the trash, even if I have to drag you by the hair…” grumbled Bakugou, loudly stomping his feet on the wooden floor of his apartment as he walked to the living room. Perhaps against his better judgment, he ended up caving in and reluctantly allowed his unwanted visitor to come inside. His excuse for that was that Todoroki was too dangerous when left unsupervised, and he didn’t want to risk complicating his life any further. That’s all.

“I don’t think 5 minutes will be enough, but I’ll try my best,” deadpanned Todoroki, obediently following after Bakugou. He curiously looked around his surroundings, this being his first time in his coworker’s private residence.

“If you’re here because you changed your mind about the other apartment, you’ve come too late. I already gave the realtor our okay,” Bakugou said while dropping his body on the sofa, a tired sigh softly slipping past his pursed lips. When he looked up in Todoroki’s direction, he saw him glancing around his apartment like he was visiting some sort of attraction for the first time. “What?”

“Oh, sorry. I was just thinking that I would have never guessed that someone died in here without you telling me about it,” explained Todoroki once he noticed the moody glare Bakugou was throwing his way. Sightseeing completed, he also sat down on the sofa, a healthy amount of space between them. “Is that apartment you’ve been talking about similar to this one?”

“I keep telling you they are just normal apartments,” groaned Bakugou with an annoyed roll of his eyes. It seemed like Todoroki was completely misunderstanding what an akiya house truly was, mistaking it for something that was just a step away from a dilapidated haunted house. Yes, some of them were in pretty bad shape, especially those located in rural areas. But in a city as affluent and populated as the one they lived and worked in, most akiya houses or apartments were put back in the real estate market in as good condition as possible to entice potential buyers or renters. Bakugou could have explained exactly that to Todoroki, but it was getting closer and closer to his usual bedtime hour. He wasn’t about to waste his time on that when he could simply show it to Todoroki. He grabbed his smartphone, and after a couple of seconds of browsing through his search history, he found the listing that had led him to such a discovery. “Here.”

“Oh.” Todoroki accepted Bakugou’s smartphone without thinking twice, his head slightly tilted as he wondered what exactly he was going to show him. He quickly concluded it was the apartment they would be renting and moving into together, based on the photos available in the listing. During their phone call conversation, Bakugou had given him a pretty good summary of the apartment, making it unnecessary for him to check the description section of the listing. All he focused on were the dozen or so photos of the interior of the apartment, each one showing a different division. A floor plan was also available with the measurements of each division and the balcony. He had been on board with them renting that place from the start, if only to make Bakugou happy and less moody, but now he was extremely pleased with his decision to leave his ‘husband’ in charge of their new home. “There’s no way this is only worth 170.000 yen per month… They could very well ask for triple that and it would still be a steal…”

“Hah, what did I tell you?” snorted Bakugou, a victorious knowing smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “That apartment has been up in the market for nearly 6 years now, with zero offers for either renting or buying. The company that owns the place has pretty much been lowering the price every other month since posting the listing, hoping to find someone who can overlook the fact that its previous occupant died there. The guy I talked on the phone with nearly burst into tears when I told him we’d take it.”

“I can’t believe such a neat, clean apartment has been available for that long without a single offer…” said Todoroki, scrolling down to the section of the listing that featured the price fluctuation of the apartment. Just like Bakugou had pointed out, the rent price had been in a downward trend for several years now. It was beyond baffling how one single incident had doomed that high-quality apartment to being vacant for years on end. As he inwardly oohed and awed at his future residence, he suddenly remembered a certain something. “Wait, you said your current apartment is also one of these akiya houses, right? How much are you paying for rent?”

“Hehehehe. 50.000 yen per month,” proudly announced Bakugou, his smirk growing more mischievous and gleeful.

“That’s way lower than my rent…” gasped Todoroki, too scared to do the math in his head and discover how badly he was being ripped off. He still remembered how his house hunting went, so he had a clear image of what the current rent prices were around that area. 50.000 yen per month was absurdly low for their city, unless it was for a rundown room in some sort of shared house setting. The only places that came to his mind that could have such a low price tag but maintain livable conditions were college dorms and other similar discounted student accommodations. “How come I’ve never seen any listings about this type of housing?”

“Heh, are you finally starting to understand why I’ve been aiming for these ‘haunted’ spots this whole time?” giggled Bakugou, his earlier bad mood completely gone. He took his smartphone from Todoroki’s hand, locked it and slipped it back into his pocket. “Since they are so unpopular, keeping ads for them on the regular real estate websites would be a waste of money. But there’s this database run by the government that lists every single akiya location currently available in the country. That’s where I found this apartment and our new place.”

“I see,” acknowledged Todoroki with a small nod of his head. He would keep that information in the back of his mind so he could utilise it after their ‘mission’ was completed. Now that he knew of the wonders of renting these highly discounted locations, he might as well use them for his financial benefit, too.

“Is this all you wanted to talk about?” asked Bakugou, the smirk disappearing from his lips as his face returned to his default relaxed expression.

“No, I think it’s about time we go through the rest of the timeline, now that we’ve gotten married and completed step 1 of our mission,” declared Todoroki, his body straightening into a more formal sitting position. “We need to decide on a concrete date for us moving into the new apartment and make arrangements for the press conference meant to publicly announce our marriage. In my opinion, we should do the press conference first.”

“Yeah, that would be the best way to make sure those annoyances that carry cameras around will be following us every single step of the moving process,” sighed Bakugou as he propped his elbow against the sofa’s armrest and then leaned the side of his face on the palm of his hand. “For the press conference itself, we can easily use the conference room of either of our hero agencies. Actually, scratch that. We should definitely use the conference room in your hero agency. It would not only annoy Endeavor, but also force him to accept that our marriage is real while in front of a big crowd. Plus, it would more easily legitimise our supposed relationship in the eyes of the public. Even if we use my preference to keep my private life completely separate from my job as the reason why we kept this a secret for so long, I bet there will be plenty of people who will still doubt whether we’re really in a relationship or not.”

“I’ll get started with the preparations for the press conference then,” acknowledged Todoroki, fully in agreement with everything Bakugou had just said about his father. There were several ‘pawns’ Todoroki still hadn’t used against Endeavor, so it wasn’t as if the press conference was that important for his side of the mission. However, it would help immensely if it went according to plan. Todoroki made a mental list of everything he needed to put in motion to get the press conference rolling, from getting in contact with several news outlets to invite them there to making sure the room would be available for them to use. “What about the date?”

“The sooner we do it, the better,” remarked Bakugou with a shrug. “Some people will complain if there’s a big gap between the day we got married and the day we announced it to the world. We might as well give them as little ammunition for criticism as possible.”

“I’ll check if the conference room is available this upcoming Monday, then,” said Todoroki, also adding that to his mental list of chores. Today was Friday, so that meant they would have two days to get all the prep work done. It wouldn’t be his first time organising a press conference, as his father had made sure to teach him the entire process as one of the lessons in his quest to inherit his hero agency. However, it would be the first time in a long, long time that a press conference was going to be about his private life. The last time the Todoroki family had been the centrepiece of any public announcements was during the aftermath of Dabi - or to be more precise, his oldest brother Toya - exposing all the nasty skeletons in their family’s closet. To push such thoughts and memories aside, Todoroki sighed and returned his focus to Bakugou. “Is that okay with you? Do you think you can make it there?”

“I’m pretty good with my scheduling and punctuality, thank you very much,” scoffed Bakugou with the indignation of someone retorting ‘Who do you think you’re talking to?’ He momentarily quieted down, almost as if he was too busy pondering about something to keep the conversation going with Todoroki. Once he was done thinking… No, correction: once he was done scheming, his crimson eyes were nearly sparkling with one more of his perfect evil plans. “You know what? I think I just came up with the perfect way to end the press conference and make sure there are as few doubts about our ‘relationship’ as possible, hehehe.”

Oh no… If there was one thing that Todoroki knew about his former classmate extremely well was that Bakugou going ‘hehehe’ was never a good sign. Not because he was about to cause utter chaos - which of course he was - or that his ideas always went wrong - which they definitely never did -, but because he was unstoppable whenever it came to plotting behind everyone’s back. The only reason Todoroki would be involved in it this time rather than kept in the dark was that his cooperation was a key factor in the success of his flawless planning.

“Remember me telling Endeavor that we would be taking a week off from work soon? Let’s make this upcoming Monday day 1 of our ‘honeymoon’,” announced Bakugou, his lips changing into a knowing smirk as he spoke. “Once we’re done saying what needs to be said about our marriage, we can just tell the reporters and journalists that we’re about to sign the paperwork for our new home. That will definitely grab the attention of those professional stalkers, which is gonna be annoying as fuck, yeah, but at least we’ll be getting all the scoops and news articles we need. It’s a pity that I’ll have to eventually reveal I’ve been living in the same apartment complex as you all along and won’t be able to rent this place a second time once our mission is over but well, that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make if it means I get every single one of those lunatics behind bars for the rest of their miserable lives.”

“Okay, that’s not as bad as I thought it would be,” said Todoroki, unconsciously breathing out a sigh of relief. He was so used to Bakugou’s outlandish but genius schemes and ploys that he was expecting the same to apply to this press conference side mission. Fortunately, it was a far classier plan than all the crazy thoughts that had started to cross Todoroki’s mind.

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean!?” Bakugou snapped back, his crimson eyes tightening into a glare.

“My father has already begrudgingly started to adjust everyone’s schedule to account for my week-long absence. I don’t think there will be any issues if we make this upcoming Monday the start of our vacation,” acknowledged Todoroki, completely ignoring Bakugou’s complaints and growls. “What about you? You’re currently helping out Best Jeanist’s hero agency, right?”

“I wouldn’t suggest a plan I wouldn’t be able to follow, now would I?” groaned Bakugou with yet another eyeroll. “Besides, they can survive just fine for a week without me there holding their hands. And even if they couldn’t, Best Jeanist was bitching at me for not taking a day off on my wedding day, so me thinks he needs to learn that even verbal actions have consequences.”

So it’s ultimately just a means for him to get some payback. Got it. By the looks of it, Bakugou’s bad mood was yet to end, and all of that pent-up frustration wasn’t being redirected to the usual punching bags only. Todoroki definitely needed to keep himself on his toes for the foreseeable future if he didn’t want to end up on the receiving end of Bakugou’s petty ‘divine retribution’.

“Speaking of which, couldn’t we use our current addresses as one more proof of our ‘relationship’?” suggested Todoroki, his best attempt at steering the conversation back into a safer topic. “It might have been just a coincidence that we ended up being neighbours, but no one aside from our friends and family needs to know that. Once the journalists and paparazzi start asking us why this is the only building both of us visit throughout the moving process, we can just tell them we became neighbours on purpose because it made it easier for us to spend time together, even with our irregular work schedules.”

“Ugh, I’m not a big fan of that one, but I guess…” grumbled Bakugou, one of his eyebrows twitching from irritation. He could already see his friends poking fun at him and creating these elaborate fantasies in their heads because of it… As he let out a half-tired, half-annoyed sigh, Bakugou grabbed his smartphone once again and opened the notes app where he had been writing down stuff related to their fake relationship. “Then Monday, we’ll get the press conference done and out of our way, which will then be followed by a visit to the realtor who will become our new landlord. Signing the paperwork shouldn’t take too long, but do you already have the funds available for half of the safety deposit and moving-in fees?”

“I’m way too busy with work to spend all of my salary every month,” deadpanned Todoroki, choosing this explanation as his way to tell Bakugou that he was financially in the clear. “Besides, with us splitting rent, utilities and all other fees 50/50, I’ll be paying less than what I’ve been paying up until now.”

“Well, I’ll be paying more than I currently am, but at least I’ll be getting a massive upgrade to my kitchen and balcony space,” snorted Bakugou as he jotted down all the info related to their new apartment and how things would be split between them. “Not that money is an issue for me. Unlike you, who is perpetually stuck here because of your daddy’s hero agency, I’ve been hopping around as needed. That plus riskier jobs come with a nice, fat paycheck every month. Heh, being the best truly is the best, isn’t it?”

“It’s not like I don’t receive and accept requests to do more dangerous missions in other areas of the country,” Todoroki replied in his own defence, slightly irked by Bakugou’s sharp, pointed remarks. “We’ve even worked together on a couple of them, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” dismissively said Bakugou with a quick shrug. “Okay, the press conference topic is dealt with, and the whole moving-in process doesn’t need detailed planning. If something out of the ordinary happens, we can deal with it right there and then. Not that I’m expecting those stupid stalkers to give us too much trouble, no matter how annoying they might be. As for the other lunatics…”

“They’re going to cause some trouble once they find out we got married, aren’t they?” asked Todoroki, even though he already knew the answer. The short interaction between Bakugou and one member of the villain group in question that he had witnessed told him everything he needed to know about their distorted expectations and delusional inclinations.

“Probably, though I have no idea what it is they’re gonna do,” sighed Bakugou, his expression growing a whole lot more serious. “I think the first few days will be relatively calm on their end. But that’s only because they are scheming something nasty out of sight. Once they are done with the prep work, I bet one of them will try to approach me with their usual ‘sales pitch’, just to test the waters. Once that fails, they will make their actual move. Or at least that’s how things went leading up to last week’s fake bank robbery.”

“Do you have any idea what sort of attack they will resort to next?” asked Todoroki right afterwards, he too switching back to his pro hero soberness. “Have they mentioned or alluded to anything in particular these past few days?”

“Nah, not really. The last one I interacted with was the moron you watched me arrest,” denied Bakugou, his crimson eyes tightening even as he lightly shook his head. “I’ve noticed a bit of a pattern with these guys. They always approach me in the same order. Man, man, woman, man, man, woman, so on… The last one was a man, and the one before was also a man, so I can expect the next member that comes to talk to me to be a woman. As for larger incidents, I can’t say much since the bank robbery was the only one so far. Taking all of that into consideration, their next move will be me being approached by a woman, followed by some sort of more showy incident.”

“Do they just randomly approach you on the street, or do they try to mask their identity at first?” Since Todoroki was about to get involved in Bakugou’s case, he wanted to get as much information on the cult members as possible. Bakugou had been their main target up until now, but that could very well change the moment they find out Todoroki is now married to him.

“It depends. Sometimes they openly ask me to join their villain group and become their official divine commander. Then at other times, they come up with some sort of excuse to lead me somewhere more private,” Bakugou explained quite leisurely, even though his eyes burned with anger. “The last one walked up to me to ask me for help finding his missing wallet. I immediately knew what was going on, but I decided to go along with that dumb charade. As soon as he got me in that side street, he dropped the pretences and started going on and on about how I made the wrong decision and should join them instead of being a pro hero. As soon as he started getting too handsy, I gave him just a tiny, little point-blank explosion. Shortly after that, you showed up, and the rest is history.”

“I see,” mumbled Todoroki, sinking his back into the sofa’s cushions as he steadily processed this additional information. All in all, the solo encounters seemed to be relatively easy to deal with and their danger level was also fairly low. On the other hand, incidents that involved multiple cult members were a whole lot more elaborate, dragged innocent people into it and could very well lead to injuries and maybe even casualties in the future if they weren’t stopped on time. “Do you have any idea how many members there are in that villain group?”

“Heck if I know. But I doubt it’s a very large group,” said Bakugou with a dismissive shrug of his shoulders. “They are too organised and quick at hiding for their numbers to be substantial. And since they are constantly popping up to say hello, their headquarters can’t be too far away from this city either. Then again, I’ve been staying around this area for a good while now. I have no idea if they’d follow me if I went somewhere else or even if there are other members posted in other areas of the country.”

“You or the police haven’t managed to get any information from the members you’ve arrested so far?” asked Todoroki, a bit surprised by how little Bakugou seemed to know about the group itself, even though they have been pestering him nonstop for several months now. “The bank robbers aside, I think you said you managed to find enough evidence for the arrest of seven other members, right?”

“Hah, that’s yet another annoying thing about those asswipes,” snorted Bakugou, his voice dripping with sarcasm and animosity. “Whenever the detectives try to interrogate them, they stay completely silent. The only sentence they speak out loud on repeat is, ‘We’ll only talk to our lord and saviour, Dynamight.’ Ugh, I get goosebumps just thinking about that crap… Because of that, I had to be present during several of the later interrogatories. But don’t think me being there gets them coughing up any useful information. They just go on and on and on about how I’m their ‘murder god’ and that I’m meant to lead them in their quest to world domination and blah blah blah. Whenever I directly asked them something about the group, they either gave us half answers that don’t make much sense or claimed I already knew the answer since I’ve been hearing their prayers or whatever.”

“What about following other members that you know about but don’t have enough evidence to justify an arrest?” followed up Todoroki, exasperation bubbling up in the pits of his stomach. If just hearing about those unproductive interrogatories irritated him, then he couldn’t imagine how much worse it must have been to witness them in person. This conversation was serving as a reminder as to why Bakugou had accepted his proposal almost right away - he was simply that desperate to end the nonstop harassment, after having endured several months of nearly no progress in the ongoing investigation.

“We tried that already, obviously,” groaned Bakugou, both that question and his answer causing a wave of fury to ripple through his mind. “We got two different sidekicks from Best Jeanist’s hero agency to follow two members on two different occasions. It led nowhere. They somehow managed to lose the sidekicks following them, both times in completely different areas of this city. We’ve also tried to have an agent from our side infiltrate the group, but that also failed. Our secret agent managed to meet with some of the lower, less influential members, but was vetoed out of the group before they could gather any information. I bet they must have someone in their midst with a Quirk that lets them read minds or something along those lines. Only people who truly believe I’m a god are allowed in there…”

“For such an unknown villain group, they are surprisingly good at what they do,” pointed out Todoroki after heaving a tired sigh. Since this was Bakugou they were talking about, he and the detectives must have already checked the backgrounds of those members who had been arrested. They must have also searched for some sort of connection between them and Bakugou. But since Bakugou never mentioned anything about it, that portion of the investigation must have led nowhere either.

“They’re good at being total pains in my ass, that’s for sure,” Bakugou scoffed sarcastically. He then turned his gaze towards Todoroki. “And you’re also being a total pain in my ass right now, knocking on my door at such a late hour!”

It’s not that late, mumbled Todoroki to his own buttons, fully aware that saying that out loud would result in him getting violently kicked out of Bakugou’s apartment. He was also aware, however, that Bakugou had the habit of going to bed fairly early compared to those in their age group. Todoroki didn’t want to impose on him too much, all the more so when he was already in a pissy mood. It would be for the best if he wrapped up their conversation here.

Despite all of that, there was one last thing Todoroki wanted to get done today, in preparation for the challenging days they had ahead of them as a fake married couple.

“Bakugou… Before I go back to my apartment, can I try something?” requested Todoroki, turning his sitting position sideways so he could get a better view of his coworker. They were sitting next to each other on the sofa already; he didn’t need to move too much to get to that perfect position he was looking for.

“Huh? What is it now?” grumbled Bakugou, feeling a bit sour that the obvious command meant to get his uninvited visitor out of his apartment had been completely ignored. Then again, this was Todoroki he was dealing with - of course his dense brain had protected him from Bakugou’s passive-aggressive comments. His moody grumbling also wasn’t having any effect on him. Todoroki simply continued looking in his direction with that annoying blank, serious demeanour of his. What other option but sighing did Bakugou have when faced with someone like him? “Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Just make it quick, I wanna sleep.”

“Okay,” said Todoroki with a quick nod of his head. Permission granted, he straightened his back a little bit more and fully pulled it away from the sofa’s cushions. Todoroki then proceeded to grab Bakugou’s hand, something that got him an arched eyebrow and a confused ‘huh?’

So far, so good. Bakugou’s hand was surprisingly warm, with a few calluses on his fingers here and there, most likely caused by the friction of his hero costume’s gloves or maybe even by the explosions themselves. Holding it didn’t cause him any consternation or other similar negative emotions. Even though he didn’t have anything backing him up on this, Todoroki concluded he’d be able to hold Bakugou’s hand for several hours in a row if the need ever arose.

This experiment confirmed that Todoroki would have no problems with doing this basic display of affection commonly used by regular married couples with Bakugou. It was now time he moved to the display of affection No. 2.

By using the hand that he was already holding, Todoroki gave a quick yank to Bakugou’s arm and pulled him closer. Once the distance between them had been reduced to less than half an inch, he let go of his hand and instead wrapped his arms around Bakugou’s torso, very carefully caging him in his embrace.

“Huh…?” gasped Bakugou yet again, steadily getting more and more confused about the meaning of all of that. Perhaps that confusion was what stopped him from gut-punching Todoroki the moment he hugged him without any warning or his permission.

Much like with the hand holding, Todoroki didn’t experience a negative response - physical or psychological - as he hugged him. All he felt was Bakugou’s warm body pressing against his, hard and muscled in some areas while also pleasantly soft and squishy in others. Thanks to being in such close proximity to him, the sweet scent coming from the nitroglycerin mixed in Bakugou’s sweat became even stronger. Todoroki couldn’t help but take a deep breath as he rested his chin on Bakugou’s shoulder, filling his lungs with as much of that wonderful fragrance as he physically could.

Yes, he could confirm that this type of display of affection would also be easy peasy for him. He could easily hug and cuddle with Bakugou whenever the opportunity presented itself, even though he wasn’t entirely sure which were the right moments to do such a thing with a lover.

With display of affection No. 1 and 2 tested and approved, all Todoroki had left to do was try out the type of intimate act that had started this whole thing.

Midoriya had asked him if he was capable of kissing Bakugou just for the express purpose of proving to other people that they were a proper newlywed couple. Todoroki already knew that, yes, he had no problems with Bakugou kissing him. But what about a kiss initiated by him? Since lives could be potentially at risk here, Todoroki didn’t want to find out whether he could kiss him or not when they needed it the most. Trying it out now, at a low-stakes moment, was the best time to find that out.

So that’s what Todoroki did.

He lifted his chin from Bakugou’s shoulder at the same time his arms slowly separated themselves from that warm, muscled but soft body. But rather than let go of him for real, Todoroki moved his hands closer to Bakugou once again and cupped both of his cheeks. From there, it was surprisingly easy to inch even closer to him and completely erase the small distance between their lips.

By the looks of it, Todoroki didn’t have anything to worry about when it came to pretending to be in a romantic relationship with Bakugou. He could kiss him just fine, and this moment right here proved that.

The moment his lips touched Bakugou’s, Todoroki felt his coworker’s body jolt from head to toes, probably out of a mix of shock and flabbergasted surprise. Or at the very least, Todoroki figured that was what Bakugou was currently feeling, basing himself on his personal experience of having also been suddenly kissed by Bakugou.

However, leaving it as just lips bumping into lips wouldn’t be enough. Such a chaste kiss hadn’t been enough when they did it in front of Endeavor, and Todoroki would bet that the same would apply in similar future instances. He didn’t have enough romantic experience to know the best ways to go about that all on his own, so he decided to copy what Bakugou had done earlier that afternoon.

Their lips were separated, but only for a very short second. Todoroki cupped Bakugou’s face more snuggly, the tight pressure eliciting a small surprised gasp from his vocal cords. That created the right opportunity for him to deepen their kiss and slip his tongue into Bakugou’s mouth.

Up until this point, Bakugou had been weirdly compliant, possibly out of immobilising confusion, but such a bold move shattered that. He grabbed Todoroki’s arms with shaky hands, and his jaw tensed alongside the rest of his body, showing some clear signs of discomfort.

However, Todoroki was a man with a mission, and he had made up his mind about seeing it through to the end. Rather than ending the kiss there, he let go of Bakugou’s face and allowed him to pull his arms down with those clumsy tugs. Once his arms fell on top of their laps, they pounced forward once again, this time caging Bakugou’s slender waist in their embrace.

How long did Bakugou’s kiss last? Todoroki had no concrete answer to that question. His perception of it told him it had gone on for a very long time. With that being the case, he also needed to make sure his kiss lasted for just as long.

When Todoroki pulled his waist closer to him, Bakugou’s arms got awkwardly squished between their chests, which put a hamper on their interference for the time being. That allowed Todoroki to pour all of his attention back on the kiss itself.

Bakugou’s lips - and also Torodoroki’s - were now more moist due to his tongue and their combined saliva, which made it much easier to carry on the kiss uninterrupted. Todoroki now also had the leeway to notice all the little details and sensations that had been blocked by shock during his first kiss with Bakugou. The heat exuding from Bakugou’s face was as warm and comforting as the heat coming from a crackling fireplace. Most of it came from his rosy cheekbones, but the most notable source was his soft lips.

Even as a teenager, Todoroki had never been all that interested in romance and relationships. His priorities had always been to become a pro hero, and perhaps due to his family background, he didn’t view such a topic as something he’d ever want to include in his adult life, either. He was quite comfortable with the idea of being single for life, working as a pro hero until his retirement or until he ran out of luck and his life was claimed in battle.

Kissing Bakugou, however, was somewhat shifting those beliefs. He found himself wondering if this giddy sensation coursing through his body was what had made the majority of his classmates and other fellow students so excited about the concept of love and romantic relationships throughout their teenage years. Doing this felt quite good, he had to admit, especially when their wet tongues rubbed and entwined against one another or whenever he felt Bakugou’s body trembling due to the tiniest of squeezes.

Since it felt this good to kiss him and hold him in his arms right now, Todoroki concluded that he also wouldn’t have any problems with kissing Bakugou in the future as needed. He had tested and confirmed what he had already told Midoriya - yes, he would definitely be okay with being married to Bakugou, no matter how long their mission might last. Not that he had had any doubts in the first place, mind you. He simply wanted to play it safe and double-check everything so he wouldn’t have any nasty surprises later on.

Now that all the testing and thinking had been neatly finished, it was also time to end the kiss. Surely Todoroki had kissed Bakugou for just as long as he had been kissed that afternoon, right? Todoroki wanted to think so, but he had gotten distracted halfway through his internal countdown and lost track of time all over again. He had no idea if it was just his personal experience or if this was a feature of the act of kissing itself, but it seemed to be quite hard to think clearly while he was doing it.

After what felt like a lifetime but also an agonisingly short period, Todoroki slowly withdrew both his mouth and body, leaving a small wall of air between them. As he took a deep breath to even out his breathing rhythm, his eyes met with Bakugou’s, who had been left equally as breathless by all of that smooching. Todoroki already had a small suspicion of it, given how hot he had felt from that short distance, but he was now visually confirming that Bakugou’s face was redder than he had ever seen it before. Even when he was fuming mad at someone had his demonic features not been this brightly colourful.

“......maybe I should do it again……” mumbled Todoroki under his breath, his eyes glued to the captivating scene unfolding before him. He swallowed down the hard lump forming in his throat like he was keeping something well locked and repressed in the pits of his stomach. Before he could gather his thoughts and bring some clarity to all of that, however, a vice-like grip captured the upper portion of his face, rendering his eyes blind.

“L-Like hell you are…!” hissed Bakugou at the same time he straightened his arm and, as a result, pushed Todoroki’s head and upper body away from him. “‘The heck is wrong with you all of a sudden!? Maybe I really should send you to the hospital for a couple of days! Something is definitely wrong with your brain!”

“No, my brain is okay and so am I,” reassured Todoroki, slowly raising his arms up in the air as a display of both surrender and innocence. So long as Bakugou didn’t squeeze his cranium with any more strength than he already had, he wouldn’t need a visit to the hospital. “I won’t do anything else, so can you let go of me? This position is pretty rough on my neck…”

“Fuck no, you’re on time out right now, deal with it!” Bakugou growled threateningly, his fingers sinking into Todoroki’s temples some more. His arm also remained as straight as an arrow, which kept Todoroki’s upper body in a backwards bent position that indeed looked very uncomfortable for his spine. Bakugou didn’t feel even a single drop of guilt or pity over it; his coworker was simply getting a little taste of the consequences his crazy actions had brought about. He sighed tiredly. “What were you even thinking, doing something like that out of the blue!? Did you get hit by some stupid Quirk or something while I wasn’t watching!?”

“No, I was just trying it out, to make sure I could do it whenever needed from now on,” calmly explained Todoroki, despite the precarious position he was in.

“That makes zero sense! Trying out what!?” angrily demanded Bakugou, moving his arm left and right again and again to see if he could shake some sense into Todoroki’s empty brain. He could tell there was something of the correct size inside his skull, since he didn’t hear any rattling sounds coming from there, but better safe than sorry.

“Kissing you,” said Todoroki yet again with the leisure of someone commenting on their lunch or any such trivial matters. “I wanted to test it out when it’s just the two of us to make sure I can do it properly when someone starts questioning our relationship. You know, like you did with my father.”

“I-I told you that was just a one-time kind of thing!!!” Bakugou hissed, nearly tripping over his own words due to the intense heat once again assaulting his whole face.

“Why? It’s an easy, quick way to prove that we truly are in a relationship, isn’t it?” pointed out Todoroki, unfortunately unable to tilt his head due to the monstrous grip keeping him immobile. “No one will be able to accuse us of lying if we kiss right in front of them. After all, neither Dynamight nor Shouto are the type to go around kissing random people for no good reason. That makes it even more believable than an official piece of paper. Besides, we’re already married. A married couple can kiss, right? Then I don’t see why we can’t do it too.”

“Yeah, that makes… zero… sense…?” sighed Bakugou at first, but his voice sounded more and more uncertain as time went on. The kiss they had shared while talking with Endeavor had indeed worked like a charm, even though the stubborn old man had been so adamant about not believing their claims or the copy of the marriage certificate they had brought with them. It was also undeniable that he wasn’t the type to kiss other people in public or in private, as his lack of salacious scandals proved. The same sort of applied to Todoroki, even though there had been a rumour or two about him being involved with this or that woman - rumours that were always quickly disproven by all parties involved. All of that combined made kissing as effective a tool as Todoroki claimed it to be. “...Huh… That might actually save us a fuckton of time that would otherwise be spent arguing back and forth with random extras…”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” said Todoroki, changing one of his raised hands into a thumbs-up. “It will also make us look like any ordinary couple, which will, in turn, make you seem more human than god. To sum it up, it helps both my side of our deal and yours.”

“I… guess that’s true,” conceded Bakugou at long last, his grip slowly softening until he finally let go of Todoroki’s face entirely. Nearly 50% of their ‘mission’ revolved around them pretending to be in a relationship, much like actors participating in a play or a TV show. If those romantic acts didn’t mean anything when actors were doing them, then the same would also apply to their case, since they were doing it purely for the sake of the deal they had made. Besides, they were both on the same page when it came to their mission. Thanks to that, kissing wouldn’t be that big of an issue if they mutually agreed they didn’t have a problem with it. Bakugou crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head just the slightest, not fully satisfied with that thought process but nevertheless unable to come up with any reasons to decline it. “Let’s keep that as a last resort, though, or else it would get overused real fast.”

“Okay,” acknowledged Todoroki, finally able to nod his head along to his heart’s content. Strangely enough, he felt as giddy now as he had felt while he was kissing Bakugou. Was he perhaps still feeling some residual effects of the kiss, since it had carried on for so long? All of those sensations and thoughts felt so weird and foreign to Todoroki, but he couldn’t bring himself to dislike them either. Well, I’m sure that will go away once I’m more used to kissing Bakugou.

“Alright, now that that’s decided and we’ve created a plan for both the press conference and the moving-in process, it’s time you get the hell out of here and let me go to sleep, damn it!” Bakugou hissed, putting on his usual menacing frown on his face as he shooed Todoroki away with his hands. Had Todoroki not obediently gotten up from the sofa right away, he would have started kicking his leg next. But since he did, Bakugou also got up, keeping his suspicious gaze perpetually on his unwelcome guest out of concern he’d come up with yet another conversational topic.

Fortunately, though, Todoroki started to silently walk towards the entrance area without any complaints, always closely followed by Bakugou. Only when he saw him putting on his shoes and opening the front door did Bakugou let out a small sigh of relief and drop his guard.

“I’ll let you know if there are any problems with doing our press conference at my father’s hero agency,” added Todoroki, holding onto the side of the door with his hand to keep it from closing. Most of his body was still inside Bakugou’s apartment, though, so it wasn’t as if he was at risk of having it slammed on his face yet again. That suited him just fine.

“Yeah, yea-” Much like earlier, Bakugou dismissively acknowledged his words while also actively trying to get him outside once and for all. But the moment he took a step closer to push Todoroki into the empty corridor, his mouth was momentarily silenced by a pair of lips. Bakugou’s moody instinct kicked in right away, and his clenched fist lunged forward at the speed of light.

Todoroki was already expecting this sort of reaction, however. He easily sidestepped and avoided that tough fist by this really tiny gap.

“I told you to save that for a last resort, didn’t I!?” hissed Bakugou, his crimson eyes tightening into a burning glare. “Don’t think I won’t gut punch you in public if you dare to cross the line!”

“Practice makes perfect, right?” pointed out Todoroki, his head innocently cocked to the side while he stared at Bakugou with the expressionless gaze of a child who had just been chastised for stealing some candies. “If we don’t seem to be used to it, people might get suspicious about us. We have supposedly been dating for three years, after all.”

“Hmph! I know that! I’m not dumb!” Bakugou barked in retaliation, his frowning face becoming even more scrunched up with a pout. He pointed his index finger at Todoroki while using his other hand to slowly close his front door. “But that doesn’t mean I will let myself be used and manipulated by a dense mutt who just learned a new trick and now keeps repeating it whenever he feels like it! You already know you can do it, so stop doing it when it’s not needed! You’re lowering its ‘last resort’ value! Idiot!”

With that last half-hearted insult, Bakugou slammed the door shut with a loud bang. He couldn’t quite tell if the muffled ‘okay’ he heard coming from the other side of the door was just his imagination or if it had been real. Whatever might be the case, he couldn’t care less about it. Bakugou stomped back inside his living room area and then made a beeline to his bedroom, mumbling and cursing under his breath the whole way there.

By the time he reached his bed, Bakugou had cooled down enough to think with a clearer mind and a peaceful heartbeat. His earlier confused thoughts resurfaced, but just like before, he was unable to find anything wrong with anything that had been said and done. He had this nagging feeling that something was missing or being overlooked, but he couldn’t figure out what that something was, no matter how much he pondered over it.

Not knowing the answer to something was extremely rare for Bakugou, who had always managed to come up with a solution or a plan for everything he was involved in. The fact that he couldn’t figure out what was the missing ‘something’ was more frustrating than having to deal with idiots all day long. But at the same time, it also led him to think that maybe he was simply over-analysing and overthinking the question. Maybe the question itself didn’t exist in the first place. Maybe he was pondering about nothing whatsoever. Who even knew? Bakugou didn’t, that’s for sure.

“Argh, whatever! I’ll just keep focusing on arresting all of those lunatics and screw everything else!” screamed Bakugou as he frantically ruffled his own hair. There was no use in stressing himself out because of an unofficial mission. It wouldn’t solve anything, and it also wouldn’t make his problems disappear as if by magic. As such, he was better off just going with the flow and using whatever might be around him to his benefit. “If kissing that idiot helps me catch those lunatics just one day faster, then that’s what I’ll do! It’s just bait, so who cares? I for sure don’t care! I don’t care at all, not even a tiny little bit! So long as it doesn’t get in my way, it’s as neutral to me as the air I freakin’ breathe! Besides, he’s right! We’re married, and married people do stuff like that! It’s nothing out of the ordinary! So from now on, I won’t give a single fuck about any of that stuff! There, done!”

Once he reached the end of his rapid-fire rant, Bakugou took a couple of deep breaths to even his breathing rhythm. As he exhaled all the air accumulated inside his lungs, silence and tranquillity returned to his dim bedroom.

“Okay, time to go to sleep,” calmly said Bakugou under his breath, ready to restart his bedtime routine after the unexpected interruption.

With that, Bakugou successfully compartmentalised that entire monologue and everything associated with it into a small box stored away in a corner deep inside of his subconscious. His first day as a married man was also his last day walking around in circles trying to figure out what exactly that nagging feeling was trying to tell him. Perhaps sensing that it was about to be silenced and ignored from now on, the nagging feeling redirected one final message to its creator.

‘Good luck, you’ll really need it.’

Chapter Text

Todoroki’s weekend ended up being, in all honesty, the most bizarre but interesting weekend of his whole life.

He was on his usual work shift both days, which he used to his benefit to set up the press conference needed for the marriage announcement. This brought about the bizarre but interesting event #1 - dealing with his father.

On his wedding day, Todoroki only interacted with him one more time after his and Bakugou’s conversation with Enji. He wanted to make sure their holiday request was being taken seriously, so before he left the hero agency, he passed by his office to check how things were going. Todoroki got a moody ‘I’m doing it as we speak’ and nothing else, which he deemed to be acceptable for the most part. Back then, Enji was probably still processing the news, hence why that interaction had been so unassuming and peaceful.

But things changed drastically on the following day. As soon as Todoroki set foot inside the lobby area of the prestigious hero agency, he was readily notified by Burnin that the big boss wanted to talk with him. It went without saying that he already knew what to expect out of that. And his suspicion was well warranted, since the first thing Enji told him once he walked into his office was that he wanted to see every single document they had gotten out of their courthouse wedding. Todoroki had already given him a copy of the marriage certificate, but Enji told him that wasn’t good enough - he wanted the entire documentation, be it the documents Todoroki had to fill in, be it those that had been written by the judge who officiated their marriage. He wasn’t entirely sure how the courthouse operated in that regard, but something told Todoroki that it would be impossible to get all of those documents, even if just as a copy.

“Heh, then I guess you aren’t actually married for real, are you?” was Enji’s smug response to Todoroki pointing that out.

Whether it was because of his competitive streak or something else, Todoroki wasn’t really sure, but hearing his father say that really annoyed him. It annoyed him like he had never felt annoyed before - so much so, he felt little sparks and flames creeping out from the left side of his body. However, losing his patience wouldn’t help him in any way. After taking a long, deep breath to cool down his mind and body, Todoroki shot right back at Enji.

“I’m not really sure how to get those papers. Why don’t you show me how it’s done by giving me a copy of all the paperwork you did when you married Mom?”

It was an instant checkmate. Enji mumbled and fumbled for a couple of minutes, saying that things were done a bit differently when he had gotten married. But since he was eventually forced to admit that even he had no idea how to request access to those documents, Todoroki ended the conversation right there and then by telling his father for the millionth time to simply wait for their family register to be updated. He’d be able to see if his son had truly gotten married or not then.

After that humiliating defeat, Enji switched to a different strategy - to keep Todoroki under constant surveillance in hopes of catching him and his lies red-handed. Wherever Todoroki went, Enji also found an excuse to be there. First, it was looking for a missing item in the changing room, then wanting to check the physical condition of their newest sidekicks in the training area, followed by asking the receptionist about the current volume of official letters and job requests the hero agency was receiving while Todoroki was going through his task list for the day with the staff member responsible for combing through the agency’s mail. Todoroki pretended not to see him in all of those instances and simply went on with his business as usual.

It got a bit more cumbersome when Enji also followed him outside, with the excuse of doing an official audit on every single field agent they currently employed at the hero agency, starting immediately with Shouto. With that, Enji spent the rest of Todoroki’s work shift shadowing him from a distance, clipboard in hand to take notes on everything of importance that he witnessed.

He was particularly vigilant when Todoroki bumped into Kaminari, who was out and about enjoying his day off. Fortunately, such an encounter ended up benefiting their mission since Kaminari suddenly pulled out a small gift bag from one of his shopping bags and gave it to Todoroki, claiming that it was his wedding gift to the two of them. Honestly, he had no idea how he should interpret such a gift or even what to do with it, but it did have a visible impact on Enji, so maybe it was fine? Plus, Kaminari probably only did it as some silly prank or to tease them, given the circumstances. That made Todoroki conclude that it would be for the best if he kept such an offering a secret from his ‘husband’ or else Bakugou would probably flip and find a way to covertly assassinate Kaminari… Yes, such a gruesome outcome would definitely make him even more popular with his villain cult following, so that wedding gift needed to stay a secret for the remainder of their marriage, no matter what…

Anyway.

The day felt long and stuffy due to the watchful gaze constantly glued to his back, but such a nightmare eventually came to a close. Just as Todoroki was about to end his shift, Burnin swooped in and dragged Enji back to his office so he could deal with all the paperwork he had been neglecting the whole day.

That was Todoroki’s Saturday. Sunday was much the same, too.

None of Enji’s schemes had much effect on him or the integrity of their mission. Most of his communication with Bakugou was done through texting, due to the nature of their work, and now that he was aware that his ‘husband’ lived quite literally a floor away from him, it was extremely easy to visit him in person if there was anything he needed to discuss in a more detailed manner.

That led to the bizarre but interesting event #2 - his relationship with Bakugou. Well, nothing much had changed between them, if Todoroki was to really think about it. They still got along as well as they did before this mission. They weren’t the type to randomly text and call other people, so, just like before, their communication could be summarised as ‘the bare minimum’. Since Todoroki was in charge of setting up the press conference at his hero agency, all he had to do was give some occasional updates to keep Bakugou aware of how that portion of the mission was going. Todoroki also didn’t have that many challenges with that, even with Enji’s constant surveillance, and as such, even his updates were short and to the point. All in all, it was the textbook ‘professional relationship’ that was so common in human society.

The one thing that made his relationship with Bakugou be included in this short lil’ list of his was the fact that, you guessed it, they were now married. The title that came alongside the marriage certificate seemed to have caused this unusual reaction in Todoroki, for some reason. He couldn’t even give it a name; he just knew it was different from his previous ‘normal’. Maybe that was simply something that every man experienced as they got used to their new marital status. He wasn’t acquainted with enough married people to go to them and ask about it, though. But since, deep down, he didn’t necessarily dislike or mind these minute changes, Todoroki wasn’t that worried about it.

The biggest change that Todoroki had taken notice of so far was his daily routine. When in his regular work shift, which kept him occupied from 9 AM until 6 PM six days a week, he usually went straight home or passed by his mother’s and sister’s new home to pick up some food for his dinner. That was about it. Occasionally, he’d meet with some of his friends or fellow UA graduates, but that was becoming more and more of a rarity as they got busier with their pro hero careers and moved to all sorts of new cities and locations.

This weekend, however, just as he was finishing his dinner, he developed the habit of texting Bakugou and then coming to knock on his door five minutes later. Obviously, he was always greeted by a furious glare and a couple of colourful cusses, but Bakugou never actually told him to go away and leave him alone. He grumbled and bitched about it, yes, but he would let him in after a couple of minutes of that. These impromptu visits weren’t anything special; they simply sat down on the sofa and discussed how things related to their mission were going.

That was how Todoroki discovered that Bakugou had already made some adjustments to his work schedule, exchanging the day off he had slotted for that Sunday for a work day to tie up any loose ends before he went on his week-long holiday. Such forethought and fastidiousness were not that unusual for a perfectionist like Bakugou. He made sure to leave his work in the most optimal condition, making everyone's lives easier as they scrambled around trying to compensate for the huge gaping hole his absence would create. And with Todoroki also taking time off at the same time, the hole was twice as big. The current peaceful era was the only reason the two of them could afford such a luxury. On the flip side, they had been vital players in the creation of said peaceful era, so perhaps this week-long break was just them reaping some of the fruits of all of their hard labour.

Their conversations also didn’t last for very long, as it was mostly a recap of what they had already talked about through messages, plus some occasional unrelated topics that naturally sprouted. Todoroki didn’t know how Bakugou felt about it, but he truly enjoyed the short half hour or so that he spent at his apartment. It was the perfect way to unwind after a busy day at work. Would these conversations remain or even expand once they moved in together? They had previously discussed the possibility of adjusting their work schedules from now on so they would match as much as possible, aiming to at least have the same day off every week that they could use to further advance their unofficial mission. If they succeeded at that, the time they could spend together would naturally increase exponentially.

Was he being too greedy for looking forward to doing precisely that? Maybe so. But Bakugou didn’t seem to mind his selfishness as much as he made it sound. Bakugou, too, was a selfish person, after all. Most people would think that made him not all that compatible with Todoroki’s own selfishness, as it meant they would clash constantly to decide whose selfish whim came out on top, but his actions and words so far proved otherwise. Bakugou was acclimating himself to Todoroki’s selfish requests and actions surprisingly fast and with minimal pushback.

The best example of that was all the effort they were putting into genuinely looking like a newlywed couple. Bakugou’s once-in-a-lifetime kiss, which was used as a last resort against Enji, had accidentally unlocked a viable manoeuvre they could use on command as needed. Todoroki had tested it out and discovered he didn’t mind kissing or being physically affectionate with Bakugou. Although he never got a clear answer from him about that, Bakugou was also on board with using such a trick if it was truly necessary. However, neither of them had any acting experience, and Todoroki wasn’t a good liar in the first place. Someone with a keen eye or loads of romantic experience would easily be able to see through their awkward couple-y interactions. Their background story said they had been dating for three years already, so they needed to look the part with every single interaction they had in front of other people.

As such, Todoroki took it upon himself to get them used to acting like a couple in as short a time as possible. For the sake of their mission, of course. No nefarious or dubious intentions were involved in it. All of it was purely part of the deal they had made. He was certain that once he was used to kissing Bakugou and holding his hand and touching his body, much like a lover would, the giddy sensation he got out of the novelty of this situation would eventually fade into normalcy. He couldn’t tell if Bakugou also experienced that giddy sensation or not, but he, too, was slowly learning to accept such acts as just another part of their mission.

On day 1 of Todoroki suddenly kissing Bakugou, he had to avoid a gut-punch. On day 2, he got his cheek pinched and pulled while being told off. On day 3, Bakugou groaned in exasperation before picking up the conversation where they had left it off. So yes, progress. Slow but constant, riddled with positive feedback and sprinkled with a healthy dose of restrained excitement.

Given the current track record, Todoroki could barely wait to find out what day 4 would be like. Fortunately, he wouldn’t have to wait too long to find out.

His weekend went by in the blink of an eye, as busy but excited as he was, and the so-awaited Monday had arrived. The day they would make their marriage public knowledge was finally here.

Even though Todoroki wasn’t a morning person and would be very sluggish in the first few moments after waking up, he quite literally jumped out of his bed the moment his alarm clock rang the first musical note. He didn’t need to be in any rush, as he was technically already on his vacation, but he still couldn’t help himself. Todoroki got all ready to go in record time, all while constantly taking peeks at his smartphone or the digital clock in his bedroom.

The press conference had been scheduled to take place at 9:30 AM, allowing Endeavor’s hero agency ample time to prepare the conference room and ensure that journalists and reporters had all their equipment set up. That meant that Todoroki also had plenty of time to get there.

“I wonder if it would be okay to pick up Bakugou from his apartment…” mumbled Todoroki under his breath after having spent a good couple of minutes absentmindedly staring at the screen of his smartphone, secretly hoping that would make time fly by faster. Bakugou was also already on his week-long vacation, and with the type of daily routine he had, he probably had been awake for far longer than Todoroki had. Plus, they were currently in the same building and would be heading to the same location, most likely around the same time. Wouldn’t it be more efficient if they left together?

That rational conclusion was all Todoroki needed to start acting on it. He grabbed his smartphone, wallet and house keys and headed straight to the entrance area after turning off the TV that had been dubbing as background noise while he impatiently waited. His heart was beating faster than usual by the time he reached Bakugou’s front door, but that was probably because he had run all the way there. He rang the doorbell and then knocked a couple of times on the door, the same ritual he had developed these past few visits. Seconds that felt like minutes went by before that door was finally open.

“You’re coming by awfully early today…” grumbled Bakugou, his face scrunched up with a suspicious frown. “You better not be here to give me bad news, ‘cuz if you are, I’m gonna make you regret having been left in charge of organising the press conference.”

“Bad news? No, I don’t have anything of the sort,” said Todoroki, his head slightly tilted in confusion. He couldn’t think of a single reason why there could be any problems regarding the press conference, and he also hadn’t received my messages or phone calls from his coworkers warning him of such. “I just figured it would be more efficient if we went to my hero agency together.”

“Oh, is that so?” Bakugou’s moody expression immediately softened into a more neutral frown. He gave a small tap to the door with his hand to open it wider and gave a quick jerk with his chin to urge Todoroki to come on in. “We'd better get going soon, then. I can already see your daddy dearest creating a stink the moment he spots me in there.”

“Yeah, he’s also not all that happy with me for taking an entire week off from work because of the wedding he still thinks didn’t really happen,” sighed Todoroki, stepping inside Bakugou’s apartment and closing the door behind himself. Both of their apartments had the same layout and size, giving it a weird deja vu feel to it the first few times Todoroki had been there. Now, he could breeze through the entire apartment like it was his own, even though he hadn’t exactly ventured to more private areas, like Bakugou’s bedroom. “I think he also doesn’t fully believe we’re about to move in together.”

“Heh! Yeah, that sounds about right,” snorted Bakugou, the corners of his lips twisting upwards just the slightest to shape a knowing smirk. “I guess the press conference is gonna be as effective with the general population as it will be with Endeavor. By the way, I’m giving you fair warning, but don’t be surprised if some of our morons text you right after we’re done with this thing to thank you for winning them a bet. I can feel it in my bones that those idiots have been having the time of their lives thanks to our mission…”

Yeah, that also sounds about right, confirmed Todoroki in the back of his mind. The fact that Kaminari had gone out of his way to get them a ‘wedding gift’ more than proved that their former classmates had been talking about their mission behind their backs. Some most likely did it out of concern for them, but a select few were definitely going to make a private spectacle out of it. So long as they kept that low key and didn’t cause them any trouble, Todoroki didn’t mind it much. They had already received the background script that Bakugou had created, so, hopefully, they already knew what to say and do if they also got swarmed by curious journalists, reporters and paparazzi.

While they still had a bit over an hour until the start of the press conference, since they both agreed that arriving early would be better for their true cause, Bakugou quickly finished what he had been doing before Todoroki’s arrival, and they then departed from his apartment together. Thanks to Bakugou always thinking three moves ahead, a taxi was already parked by the sidewalk by the time they arrived at the apartment complex’s entrance area.

The taxi trip was quick and silent. What they were about to do was an extremely risky move and could have irreversible consequences to their pro hero careers; they could use some last moments of peace and quiet before they imploded with their current lives.

Arriving at Endeavor’s hero agency this time was not the same experience they had had just the previous week. It was well past 8 AM, the time when most people were commuting to their jobs. The streets were certainly busier thanks to the increased volume of people following their usual routes to their workplaces, but it was unusual for a crowd to gather in front of the main entrance of the humongous skyscraper Todoroki worked at. Bakugou and Todoroki didn’t need to exchange a quick glance with one another to know what had created that flock of humans. And even if they didn’t know what was happening from the get-go, they would quickly reach the right answer simply by observing all the equipment that some of those people were carrying inside the hero agency.

“Ugh, I already feel like going back home…” grumbled Bakugou, his voice nearly inaudible amidst the noisy crowd. He had made sure to dress up in a way that kept his identity well protected, but with that many people there, being identified was only a matter of time. That went doubly so with Todoroki with him. While the mass media invited to the press conference weren’t aware of what would be discussed, they did know pro hero Shouto was the one who organised it. Social media was already exploding with curious questions and wild theories, thanks to someone leaking to the internet that such a press conference would be happening soon. While Bakugou had already gotten used to dealing with journalists and the like, he wasn’t a big fan of them. If he could avoid them as much as possible, he would without thinking twice. He grabbed Todoroki’s lower arm and started pulling him towards the opposite direction from the bustling crowd. “It’s too troublesome to come inside through the front door. Let’s use the side door meant for deliveries.”

“Sure,” acknowledged Todoroki, already fishing his wallet from his pants’ pocket to get the key card used to unlock said door. To get there without being spotted, they ended up needing to walk around to the opposite end of the building, where they then switched to a small side road that was connected to the side door meant to be used by staff only. Halfway down that road was a bar gate, which blocked access to the remainder of the road and, hence, the side door. A security guard stood next to it, who promptly greeted them once he spotted Todoroki there.

Compared to what would have happened had they gone inside through the main entrance, Todoroki and Bakugou made their way in very leisurely and without wasting any time deflecting questions and cameras.

“Oh-oh~ The main character is finally here!” said Burnin, quickly spotting Todoroki once they reached the lobby area. She had been there managing all of those people and making sure they were guided to the conference room and nowhere else. The last thing they needed was a rogue paparazzi exploring the tall building unsupervised. She unconsciously arched an eyebrow at the companion Todoroki had brought along for the second time in a few days. “You’re also here, Dynamight?”

“You haven’t told them yet?” asked Bakugou in response to that question, redirecting his gaze from Burnin to Todoroki.

“I figured it would be easier to inform everyone at my hero agency at the same time,” explained Todoroki, not fully understanding why Bakugou immediately rolled his eyes at him. “Should I have told them ahead of time?”

“Honestly, since this is you we’re talking about here, I have no idea which option would have been better,” sighed Bakugou, his saintly patience getting the first test of the day. He beckoned Burnin to come closer with his hand and then lowered the volume of his voice. “Try not to be too loud and just listen. We got married last week, and this press conference is meant to announce-”

“WHAT!?” loudly yelped Burnin, her eyes nearly jumping out of their sockets with how wide they had suddenly opened. Her booming voice obviously caught the attention of the majority of people inside the lobby area, including the journalists and reporters who were signing in and carrying their stuff to the conference room. The once bustling lobby was now considerably quieter, filled with strained ears trying to listen in on their conversation.

“I told you not to be too loud, didn’t I!?” hissed Bakugou, doing his best not to add any volume to his voice despite wanting nothing more than to bite Burnin’s head off as freely as he felt like. “That’s what’s up, so keep it to yourself until the press conference starts, alright?”

“‘The heck, when exactly did you two start dating?” promptly asked Burnin in a small voice, pushing the two pro heroes’ backs to guide them to a more private corner of the lobby area. “Is this why Endeavor has been in such a pissy mood lately and doing all of these unnecessary things rather than his god damned job?”

“We’ve been together for three years now,” explained Todoroki, quickly glancing at Bakugou before providing that pre-programmed reply. “As for my father… Well, you know how he is… He doesn’t believe we got married despite having brought him a copy of our marriage certificate and shown him some other pretty irrefutable evidence.”

“I don’t blame him, you’re springing this on us so suddenly…” sighed Burnin, nodding her head along in solidarity to her boss. That solidarity ended pretty fast, however, and she returned to her energetic self soon after, jabbing her elbow a handful of times on the side of Bakugou’s torso. “You really are good at keeping a low profile, huh, kid? Keeping a whole relationship secret for three whole years while having a target on your back as far as those pesky paparazzi are concerned is miracle-worthy.”

“What can I say, I’m good at everything I do,” snorted Bakugou, proudly puffing out his chest as a mischievous smirk popped up on his face.

“You smug little rascal!” barked Burnin with a laugh. She then strongly patted both of their shoulders simultaneously, not sparing in the strength department. “Either way, congrats to you two! Also… good luck dealing with Endeavor. Hit him hard all at once so you can enjoy your lil’ honeymoon period without him nagging you!”

“That’s exactly our plan,” deadpanned Todoroki, expressionlessly giving a thumbs-up at Burnin. As he lowered his hand, he glanced at the main entrance, which was still welcoming a constant stream of people. He was starting to wonder if perhaps he had invited far more people than he should have… “How are things going so far? Are there any problems with the prep work being done or the location?”

“Nope, everything is going really well, actually,” said Burnin, giving a reassuring smile to her junior. “I think since you didn’t say anything about what the press conference is for, everyone is on their best behaviour so they don’t get kicked out of here before the big reveal. The conference room is getting pretty full, but that’s mainly because of all the cameras and other equipment the cameramen are lugging around. I’m pretty sure some of them are getting ready to livestream the whole press conference if it turns out to be about some bombastic news. And since the news is truly insane, you'd better get ready to be stalked for days on end and get stopped everywhere you go, alone or together. Try not to blow up with anyone until things cool down, ‘kay, Dynamight?”

“Hmph! I know that better than anyone else, thank you very much,” scoffed Bakugou as he turned his head in the opposite direction. Thanks to that, he was able to spot a certain someone rushing towards them like a bull running straight at a red mantle. “Geh… He’s already here too…”

“SHOOOOOUUUUUTOOOOOO…!” Came Enji’s booming voice, once again causing the entire lobby area to go completely silent - in fact, it went so silent that it would be possible to hear a feather being dropped. The only sound that could still be heard was his thundering footsteps as he made a direct beeline to his youngest son. Enji stopped right in front of the three of them, his ice blue eyes initially glaring daggers at Bakugou before he scoffed and focused all of his attention on the person that mattered the most. “So you’re really doing this.”

“Of course I am. I can’t keep our marriage a secret forever, nor do I want to,” calmly retorted Todoroki, his voice steady but icy cold. “We’ll be announcing it publicly, right here, right now, and then proceed with our plans to move in together.”

“Tsk! So you’re still insisting that fake piece of paper is real,” Enji grumbled after clicking his tongue in annoyance. “I don’t know why you’re keeping this charade going when we all know it’s just a lie. I already told you I’m not falling for your cheap tricks. I know you’re not really dating, let alone married! So stop this nonsense once and for all, before you damage your reputation as a pro hero!”

“We are married for real, and the copy of the marriage certificate is also real,” sighed Todoroki, starting to get a bit tired of repeating the same words to his stubborn father again and again. Since this was one of the possibilities they had discussed during their impromptu meetings, he already knew what he had to do. Without once breaking eye contact with Enji, Todoroki took a sideways step and drew closer to Bakugou, using this new position to shield them from other onlookers as he grabbed the hand of the man he was married to. “Just because you weren’t the one who chose my partner doesn’t mean you can unilaterally decide that the official ceremony we held is not real. I keep telling you to just wait a few more days, and you can go check our updated family register yourself, whether in person or by requesting the info online.”

“I don’t need to check anything, my eyes alone can see the obvious truth!” hissed Enji, accusingly pointing at his son, but mostly at the blonde next to him. “I have no idea how Shouto convinced you to do all of this, but his plan has clearly failed already, Bakugou. If you follow through with this press conference, you’ll just be inviting more trouble into your daily life! Because I for sure won’t rest until I expose this lie you’re trying so hard to keep going, that I can guarantee you!”

“Oh yeah? Be my guest then.” Bakugou simply shrugged at Enji’s hostile words, showing no signs of being bothered or intimidated by any of it. When faced with a good, hard challenge, there was only one option to take - accept it head-on with a victorious smirk on his face. “I know very well what is true and what is a lie. Good luck proving whatever paranoid thoughts are crossing your mind. Meanwhile, I’ll be enjoying my honeymoon with a clear conscience, my dear father-in-law .”

“You…!” barked Enji, his frown getting even more creased at hearing those mocking words. He took a step towards that haughty little devil, but his son acted just as fast and protectively placed himself in front of Bakugou.

“If you can’t behave yourself and talk like an adult, I won’t let you be present during the press conference,” warned Todoroki, his expressionless features starting to show some angry undertones. “This might be your hero agency, but I was the one who organised the press conference. I have the final say on who stays and who goes.”

“Uh…” Hearing that warning was like getting doused by a large bucket of ice-cold water. It got Enji to hesitate nearly instantly, and after a couple of tense seconds, he backed away for good. Not because he wanted to, but because there was no way forward that didn’t damage his relationship with his youngest son. Enji was far from convinced about the veracity of Todoroki’s sudden romantic relationship with Bakugou, but he needed to be strategic with how to prove that it was all just a poorly thought-out plan to decline their arranged marriage family tradition. “Tsk… Have it your way…”

After grumbling those moody words, Enji turned his back on them and stomped towards the nearest elevator, much like a child throwing a tantrum would have.

“Um… Just for the record, you guys are married for real… right?” asked Burnin with a certain hesitation, her eyes shooting back and forward between Enji’s sulking back and the two young men next to her. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Todoroki’s word on it, especially after he went through all the trouble of setting up a press conference with such a high number of journalists and reporters. However, she had to agree that this announcement was extremely sudden. As far as she was aware, there hadn’t been any signs that Todoroki had been dating Bakugou this whole time, and the same could be said about Bakugou.

“Yes, we’re married for real,” confirmed Todoroki, his voice dead serious as he carefully observed his father walking away. He unconsciously squeezed Bakugou’s hand a bit more tightly, but when he noticed what he was doing, he let go right away. A sigh escaped from his lips, his tall body becoming a little bit more deflated now that things were calmer around them. “He’s just too stubborn and stuck in his old ways to accept it.”

“Hmph! We already knew it was going to be like this, and yet, we still got married, didn’t we?” said Bakugou with an unbothered shrug of his shoulders. “Just let him sulk like a baby, if that’s what makes him happy. Meanwhile, we’re double-checking everything. I don’t want to be caught off guard by any nasty ‘surprises’ that stubborn old mule might come up with. Let’s go, Todoroki.”

“Oh. Okay.” Despite him being the one who was caught off guard by Bakugou’s words, Todoroki recovered quickly and started following him after offering Burnin one last acknowledging and grateful nod.

They’re just faking it, he says… The abrupt ending to their conversation left Burnin standing all alone in that more secluded area of the lobby. That gave her plenty of time to see her boss retreat back to his office and her two juniors move towards the support room adjacent to the conference room. After a while, she sighed and went back to her role as supervisor. If you ask me, that smile Shouto immediately got on his face when he heard Dynamight’s encouraging words seemed pretty genuine, but meh, what do I know?

Chapter Text

The conference room was filled to the brim with reporters and their camera crews, with the remaining little space being overtaken by their equipment. The big unknown over what exactly was about to be publicly discussed made the mood inside the spacious area as tense as in a cabinet meeting, whispering voices sombre with anxiety and curiosity.

Once the time announced finally came, a pair of side doors was finally opened to allow passage to the tables and chairs set up on a small podium area in the front portion of the conference room. Almost as if by reflex, the room was filled with the flashing lights and clicking sounds of photos being taken in quick succession. Albeit more silent, the cameras with livestream capacity were also promptly turned on to accompany the people moving from the adjacent side room to the honour seats in the podium.

“Wait, so Dynamight really is here?” “This press conference keeps getting weirder and weirder.” “Are they about to announce a new team-up?” “Can’t they tell us what is going on already? The suspense is killing me here!” “Why aren’t they wearing their hero costumes, like they usually do?”

The whispering grew more pronounced as not only Shouto, the pro hero responsible for organising the press conference, but also Dynamight appeared from the open doors and made a direct beeline to the seats set up. Opposite to what some thought would happen, the two of them were the only people who showed up.

It took a handful of seconds for Todoroki and Bakugou to take a seat and officially begin the so-awaited press conference.

“Thank you for coming here on such short notice. I won’t take too much of your time,” started Todoroki after adjusting the mic in front of him on the table. He briefly glanced at Bakugou, who was just sitting next to him as casually as he usually did in more private settings, before he went right to the point. “We requested this press conference for just one reason - to finally announce publicly that we got married. Yeah, that’s all.”

Both the whispering and the flashing lights stopped immediately at those words. A long stretch of silence ensued as the reporters and their cameramen looked at one another, wondering if they had just heard what they thought they had. Half of the room felt like they were having a mass hallucination, while the other half was wondering if the microphone wasn’t working properly. After a good chunk of time had gone by, a reporter in his mid-30s finally destroyed the tense status quo.

“I-Is this part of some prank show?” he asked with one of his hands raised. Mass whispering broke out instantly, with people commenting back and forth about such a possibility. A few of them looked around the room, searching for cameras pointed at them, but it was impossible to tell for certain with so much video recording equipment currently inside the conference room.

“Tsk, do I look like the type to waste my time with such a stupid thing?” grumbled Bakugou, his eyebrow momentarily twitching in annoyance. That was a very fair point that the majority of the reporters and staff agreed on - Dynamight certainly wasn’t the type of pro hero who participated in that sort of publicity stunt. However, rather than reassured, everyone looked more confused than ever. It was crystal clear that they were wondering if there was some sort of hidden meaning in that straight-to-the-point declaration, or if they had missed some sort of vital clue that unveiled such a mystifying sentence.

Words alone won’t do it, huh… Todoroki deadpanned in the back of his mind, only letting out a small sigh outwardly. This press conference was going in the exact same direction as their initial conversation with Enji had. They had discussed the possibility of some people questioning and doubting their claims of being newlyweds, but they didn’t think about a scenario where everyone thought they were pulling a prank on, possibly, the entire world. I guess we’ll have to improvise and give them something no one can contest or doubt.

All of the practice Todoroki had been accumulating these past three days was about to come in clutch and save their failing press conference. If this wasn’t the moment where they deployed the ‘last resort’ tactic, then he had no idea when it should be.

Todoroki calmly got up from his seat, his hands pressed against the table as an aid. Bakugou arched an eyebrow and glanced sideways at him, but he was probably thinking he was just about to restore order inside the conference room and get all of those journalists and reports to focus back on them rather than on their wild theories. In a way, yes, Todoroki did want all eyes on them in preparation for his next move.

Once he had gotten what he wanted and the majority was expectantly waiting for his next declaration, or better yet, a proper explanation, Todoroki went for it. He leaned his upper body towards Bakugou at the same time he grabbed his chin and craned his face in his direction. From there, it was quite easy to kiss Bakugou, starting with just a chaste kiss but then going all out as the room exploded in a showy storm of surprised gasps, enthusiastic squeals and camera flashes.

Yes, that was the sort of reaction they had been aiming for. Pleased with the success of their ‘last resort’ manoeuvre, Todoroki ended up getting a bit too carried away and leaned more closely towards Bakugou. What he didn’t take into account, however, was how unstable such a position was. With him standing and Bakugou sitting, Todoroki ended up pushing quite a lot of weight on his kissing partner’s upper body. To make it worse, Todoroki doubled down on that later on, all while he meticulously tasted every nook and cranny of Bakugou’s mouth. By the time Bakugou tried to compensate for that shift in weight by grabbing and clawing at the table with one of his hands, it was already too late.

Bakugou fell from the chair mid-kiss, his back and head hitting the podium floor while his legs were left half propped up against the chair, half sprawled in the air.

Every single cameraman and photographer was having a field day with all that was unfolding. Although the tables and chairs were currently blocking their view of Bakugou, they had captured every single detail of the Hollywood-grade kiss scene. Those who were livestreaming the press conference on several websites were getting bombarded by real-time comments and reactions from the public. Social media was probably being hit by a similar titanic wave of comments and posts.

With a single move, their marriage announcement went from a prank show to a massive reveal that was on the verge of breaking the internet. Later rumours even said that this news somehow managed to reach the inside of a certain prison, where a certain villain charged with harassing and attacking two UA students with his sticky Quirk a couple of years prior was seen celebrating the announcement with screams of ‘I told you so! You said I was crazy, but I could see it coming from a million miles away!’

“Oh. Sorry,” apologised Todoroki with his usual expressionless demeanour. He moved the now-empty chair out of his way and motioned his hand towards Bakugou to help him get back up. Bakugou, as expected, was glaring daggers at him, silently mouthing, ‘I will get back at you for this humiliation,’ while he grabbed Todoroki’s hand and sat up on the podium.

They needed to wait a few minutes for everyone to calm down, and that gave them the necessary time to sit back down in their respective seats as if nothing had happened just now. Bakugou still had a massive frown on his face, but he tried to remain as focused on their mission as possible rather than on kicking the chair from under Todoroki and making him fall flat on his face, too.

“If you have any questions, this is your one and only chance ‘cuz I ain’t wasting any more of my time with these stupid formalities,” declared Bakugou, his arms crossed over his chest as he closely studied the crowd in front of them. He easily spotted pro hero Endeavor further down the room, close to one of the entrances to the conference room - he didn’t look all that happy about what had just happened, but he also didn’t seem to be preparing himself to crash the press conference. Endeavor staying in his little corner, sulking and grumbling on his own, is the best outcome we can ask for. Plus, since these easily excited morons are reacting positively, he won’t have a chance to step in and declare it’s all a sham. Hah, serves you right!

“How long have you been together, and why have you been keeping your relationship a secret this whole time?” asked a reporter right away, her hand raised high while the other was holding onto her mic. The cameraman shadowing her promptly switched the camera's focus from the reporter to the two pro heroes in response to her question.

“We started dating a bit over three years ago,” replied Todoroki without missing a beat. “As for why we kept it a secret, well…”

“Is it any of my business whether you’re dating someone or not?” Bakugou asked back, his crimson eyes pinpointing the reporter who asked that question. When she hesitantly shook her head and mumbled a ‘No, not really…’, he shrugged his shoulders. “There you have your answer. It’s none of my business who you date, so it’s also none of your business who we date. Next!”

“But you’re public figures and, in a roundabout way, public servants. The media attention and scrutiny aimed at people like you is completely different from us,” said another reporter, the smug look on his face hinting that he was trying to get a gotcha moment.

“Have you or anyone else seen me dating during my work hours?” retorted Bakugou, a knowing smirk already appearing on his lips. “The answer is obviously no. What I do or don’t do while I’m off the clock is, again, none of anyone’s business, so long as I’m not breaking the law. As far as I’m aware, no law or rule says I can’t date or marry a coworker, right? Plus, being a public figure doesn’t mean I don’t get to have any privacy. If I wanted to have cameras shoved down my throat 24/7, I’d have become a livestreamer rather than a pro hero. Any other questions that aren’t related to me apparently having to abdicate from my right to privacy outside of my work hours, too?”

“When did you get married? Oh, and how long have you been planning your wedding?” excitedly asked a journalist, a voice recorder tightly clasped in her hand. “Are there any photos or videos of the ceremony you’d be able to share with us?”

“We got married this past Friday, and it was just your regular courthouse wedding. There aren’t any photos or videos to speak of,” explained Todoroki, giving his partner a break before he got too annoyed with the intrusive questions. He was fully aware of how much Bakugou despised them, given the massive stunts he constantly pulled just so he could avoid them. This press conference was going to benefit both sides of the mission, but that didn’t mean that Todoroki couldn’t take charge as much as possible to make sure it went about smoothly - even if he wasn’t that great of a conversationalist in the first place. “We’ve talked about getting married and moving in together every now and then, but we haven’t had any concrete plans up until now. Our wedding was as sudden to you as it was to us. However, that doesn’t change the fact that we both did something we have wanted to for a long time now. Most of our friends and coworkers will tell you as much, too.”

“Oh, so the pro heroes from your generation have been aware of your relationship right from the start?” asked the same journalist, her eyes sparkling with that piece of information. It showed on her face that the moment the press conference ended, she would immediately rush to one of their known friends to ask them a gazillion more questions.

“Of course they have,” said Todoroki with a short nod of his head. “They have known us for so many years, there’s no way we’d be able to keep our relationship a secret from them. The same goes for our families… even if some of them are more stubborn than others.”

“Heh, I couldn’t have said it better,” snickered Bakugou, his gaze once again landing on Enji. It was quite unusual for Todoroki to be so verbally passive-aggressive, but it was a good way to pass the message ‘Don’t you dare try anything or I’ll drag your reputation through the mud’ without actually saying it out loud. I bet Todoroki must have also noticed him there and decided to do a preemptive attack, rather than letting Endeavor take the initiative and then placate him. Not bad, not bad.

“You’re not going to do a proper wedding ceremony, one that includes both of your families and friends?” asked a different journalist from the opposite end of the crowd.

“No, that would be too time-consuming and not a good match for our work schedules,” Todoroki explained after a small sigh. “For something like a proper wedding ceremony, we’d have to coordinate who would be attending and who would be continuing to keep our country safe from villains and other threats. Since so many of our close friends are pro heroes like us or work in the same industry, we’d be forced to make a lot of tough decisions. That’s not how we envision celebrating our happy moments with those dearest to us. That’s why we decided to simply have a courthouse wedding and then do the celebrations privately as our schedules allow it.”

“You mentioned moving in together,” asked another journalist, raising his hand up in the air as fast as lightning to make sure no one moved on from this conversational topic before he got it milked down of all pertinent questions. “Does that mean we will finally find out Dynamight’s address, after he managed to keep it a secret throughout his entire career?”

“Maybe, maybe not. Who knows?” said Bakugou with a leisurely shrug - even though on his face was a mischievous smirk that told everyone watching that he was definitely up to no good. “However, one of the main reasons why we’ll be taking a week off from work starting today is so we can take our time moving into our new home. Whether you guys find out anything from that or not is really up to your stalker skills.”

“A whole week off!” gasped the same journalist who had been talking so animatedly with them earlier. An entire week of vacation was unheard of for these two pro heroes, and it showed, the way the whole room broke out into whispering once again. “Does that mean you have something special planned for your honeymoon!? Oh, never mind… That question is probably too intrusive…”

“See? This one gets it,” snorted Bakugou, pointing at that journalist in specific while skirting his eyes across the rest of the room. “Learn from her and then come back to talk to me. I might be a bit less menacing then and not tell you to eff off straight to your face.”

I think we should end this press conference here, Todoroki concluded in the back of his mind. If Bakugou was already switching to lecturing the reporters and journalists rather than answering or ignoring their questions, then the conversation would go downhill really fast, really soon. Plus, by the way that the journalist was blushing while stealing some occasional glances their way, Bakugou might have just inadvertently gained one more diehard fan. We’ve said what needed to be said, humoured their questions according to the script we created beforehand and have made the reveals meant to end the press conference in a way that grabs the attention and piques the curiosity of mass media. Yeah, we can stop here.

“What now?” asked Bakugou, halting his next dose of admonishments and restrained cusses when Todoroki grabbed the hand that was pointing at the crowd. He was looking for a proper answer made out of words, but what he got instead was Todoroki pulling his hand down without any rhyme or reason.

“It’s getting late, and we need to go sign the papers for our new home,” said Todoroki at long last after he was sent one too many confused looks by Bakugou. It wasn’t actually that late, as it wasn’t even 10 AM yet, but that was beside the point. They had other places to be now that their objective had been accomplished. To sum it up, there was no point in wasting more time chit-chatting with overly excited journalists. Todoroki got up from his seat, still holding Bakugou’s hand, and briefly bowed his head at the crowd he had personally invited there. “That’s all from us. Thank you for coming here.”

With that, Todoroki turned around and started walking towards the adjacent room they had been in prior to the start of the press conference, yanking Bakugou along with him.

“‘The heck is wrong with you all of a sudden?” asked Bakugou as he closely watched Todoroki closing the doors behind them. The whispering and shuffling of the crowd was completely drowned out with that.

“...? We said everything we wanted to say and baited them into following us around for the next few days. I figured this was a good spot to end the press conference,” said Todoroki, his head tilted to the side as he innocently looked at Bakugou with his mismatched puppy dog eyes. “Did you still want to add anything else to it?”

“No, not really…” grumbled Bakugou, part of him indeed relieved that the press conference nightmare was now over. He pulled his smartphone half out of his pocket and glanced at it. “It’s just that we ended it way earlier than we had planned. That means more time of us sneaking around trying to do our stuff while getting chased by hungry stalkers.”

“Can’t we just use the same tactics that you usually use to avoid them, while still giving them some occasional treats?” suggested Todoroki, walking across the room to a desk filled with several monitors. In them, they could see several live feeds of the security cameras inside and outside the conference room. It seemed the journalists and reporters invited were already slowly trickling out of the room, orderly escorted by the staff members and sidekicks who were helping to manage the press conference. “You know, that misdirection thing we talked about a while ago.”

“That’s not how misdirection works, you dumbass,” groaned Bakugou with an exasperated eyeroll. “It’s not very effective when everyone is extremely keen on spotting you. They know we’re currently in here, so they’ll be paying close attention to all exits. Plus, they know where you live. You can bet we’ll be seeing a bunch of them near our apartment complex.”

“That’s still all within our expectations,” said Todoroki with a calm shrug. He pointed with his thumb at the monitors while adding, “Let’s just stay here for a little while longer and wait for most of them to leave the building. Some of them will stay to continue following us around, but I bet quite a few of them will turn their focus on interviews with people who know us well. That can be a good distraction on its own.”

“Ugh, fine,” conceded Bakugou after hearing that dose of arguments. He had had other plans in mind for how to skirt around the journalists and reporters keeping guard around Endeavor’s hero agency, but that would work out too. He walked alongside Todoroki to the sofas in the centre of the support room, meant to keep its guests comfortable as they waited in there. “The realtor knows we’ll be visiting them today to get all the paperwork done and receive the keys to the apartment. I know they won’t dare to give that apartment to someone else, even if some smartass tries to steal it from me. But the sooner we do all of this trivial stuff, the sooner we can start working on the real deal.”

“I know, I know,” sighed Todoroki, not minding all that much his coworker’s impatience. If he were to be honest, he was also really looking forward to moving in with Bakugou. Living just a floor away from one another was nice and convenient, but sharing the same living space would make everything ten times better and more advantageous for the kind of goals they had in mind. To add to that, they have come up with a bunch of ways they can capitalise on the moving-in process itself. Todoroki was feeling as excited about that as the fact that he had found himself a flatmate in the least likely person. “Are you still up for what we discussed befo- Oh.”

Just as Todoroki was about to sit down on the sofa, Bakugou pulled a fast one on him without any warning and kicked the wooden frame of the sofa. The kick was strong enough to move the sofa backwards a handful of inches, causing Todoroki to fall on the hard, cold floor rather than the soft cushions he was aiming for.

“......?” With an expression equivalent to the human version of a question mark, Todoroki looked up at Bakugou from the floor, still in the process of grasping what exactly had just happened.

“That’s payback for making me fall off the chair,” scoffed Bakugou with a moody hmph, his face turning away from the confused stare directed at him. He then crossed his arms over his chest and started walking away.

“You’re so petty…” sighed Todoroki, fully aware that there was no use arguing with Bakugou when it came to his whimsical acts of revenge. He should consider himself lucky that this silly, elementary-school-kid-grade prank was all he got as the so-called ‘payback’. Todoroki picked himself up from the floor and took a step backwards, adjusting his position to account for the new location of the sofa. However, just as he was about to sit down for the second time, the front side of the lower cushions and the wood frame of the sofa came crashing against the back of his legs and knees, tripping him up in the process. This time, Todoroki fell forward on all fours, his well-trained arms easily taking the impact without any strain or injury. Once again, Todoroki glanced up at Bakugou, twice as confused. “...???”

“That’s so you won’t do that or similar stuff ever again,” declared Bakugou without a single drop of mercy. Satisfied with the flabbergasted reaction he had gotten out of Todoroki, he leisurely walked back around the sofa and took a seat there without a care in the world.

…I don’t know if I should laugh at this or just take it without saying a single word, Todoroki mumbled to his own buttons as he got back up yet again and cleaned his hands of any dirt it had gathered from the floor. Within Bakugou’s standards, these kinds of petty acts were pretty light and childish. He wouldn’t go as far as to call them ‘half-hearted’, since Bakugou had meant them, but they were nothing compared to the other torturous acts he had inflicted on their classmates during their dorm days.

Bakugou had a pouty frown on his face as he remained seated on the sofa, arms still crossed over his chest. Perhaps suspecting such might be a bit of a stretch, but could it be that rather than being angry at Todoroki for the little chair incident, Bakugou was feeling embarrassed that it had happened while in front of so many people?

“That was my bad,” Todoroki said wholeheartedly after he took a seat next to Bakugou, just like he usually did whenever he paid a late-night visit to his apartment. Apologising earnestly might be the best way to deal with this situation and his moody ‘husband’. He wasn’t very good with words, and Bakugou could smell BS a mile away, so he tried to keep things simple. “I should have been a bit more careful. But instead, I got too carried away, and that ended up happening. I’m sorry. You didn’t get hurt anywhere, right?”

“...You think I’m so weak I’d get injured from falling from a freaking chair?” grumbled Bakugou, sideways glancing at Todoroki with a fuming glare. He truly could be the personification of ‘if looks could kill’ when needed…

“That’s not what I meant,” deadpanned Todoroki, his way to suppress the eyeroll he wanted to give to that response. Why couldn’t Bakugou just obediently accept an apology instead of turning it into a match of some sort? “I’ve taken responsibility for my actions and paid the price for what I did. Can’t we say we’re even now?”

“That’s not up to you to decide,” scoffed Bakugou, turning his head in the opposite direction. He used that as a way to take a peek at the security camera's feed on the monitors to see how the mass exodus was going. The conference room still seemed as packed as before. Those professional stalkers really were taking their sweet time leaving in hopes of seeing the ‘couple of the day’ one more time, weren’t they?

“Then who gets to decide it?” asked Todoroki, a bit disappointed that Bakugou had looked away. But he wasn’t one to wallow on such things for very long. He was more of the type that went and got what he wanted. Todoroki slid his body on the sofa and scooched closer to Bakugou, until their legs were neatly pressed against each other. He then leaned his upper body sideways until he could see Bakugou’s face once again. Sure enough, he still had that sulking frown on him. “You?”

“Isn’t that more than obvious?” grumbled Bakugou, his mood getting even more cranky. Todoroki was always so annoyingly relentless with the weirdest things. This was turning out to be one of them. He was about to uncross his arms and swat that pesky expressionless face away from him when that very same pesky expressionless face suddenly came closer. So close that the air keeping them apart momentarily disappeared throughout the light peck that was delivered to his lips. Bakugou might not have made it in time to slap his hand on Todoroki’s face, but he sure did when it came to pinching both of his cheeks simultaneously. “So this is how you want to die, huh? I told you I’m not gonna get manipulated by a dumb mutt who keeps using the same trick, didn’t I?”

We’re back to the day 2 pattern, it seems… That’s a bit of a bummer, sighed Todoroki in the back of his mind, keeping himself completely still despite his cheeks currently being stretched to their fleshy limit. This regression in Bakugou’s reactions was not what he had been hoping for day 4. He wanted the progress to be a linear crescendo, not a zigzag that went back and forth depending on the circumstances. Something needed to be done to fix this and fast!

But what could Todoroki do to help his cause? What did couples usually do when facing this type of situation? What would get a positive reaction out of Bakugou that surpassed day 3’s? Todoroki had to come up with something as soon as possible, or else Bakugou would get tired of pinching his cheeks and move on with his pouting for the rest of the day.

Wait, what if the problem is something much simpler? Todoroki halted and thought back on what Bakugou had just told him. He said he wasn’t going to be manipulated by someone who kept using the same trick, right? Todoroki also remembered him saying something similar on day 1. Could it be that the problem here was pretty much just a lack of variety? Thinking back on it, all I’ve been doing so far is kiss him out of the blue. But couples who have been together for three years, let alone those who are married, aren’t limited to just kisses, right? Now I see. No wonder Bakugou isn’t having the kind of reaction I was hoping to get. I’m not being a good husband. I should fix that now, before we regress even further.

“Showwy, Ha’uhou,” said Todoroki, placing his hands on top of Bakugou’s hands - which, by the way, were still relentlessly pinching Todoroki’s cheeks and making his words come out worse than a drunkard’s slurring. His actions were so sudden that they even caught Bakugou by surprise, whose body flinched for less than a fraction of a second. He used his hands to pry Bakugou’s fingers away from his reddish cheeks, grabbing them as they were lowered. “I’ve seen the error in my ways. That won’t happen again, I swear.”

“Hmph. If you’ve learned your lesson, then you'd better act on it properly from now on,” scoffed Bakugou, a bit confused but nevertheless satisfied that his little punishment had finally put some sense into this idiot’s brain. Or so he thought. What came next made him question more things than he felt comfortable with. Like, for example, how truly dense can a human being be?

“I’m on it,” acknowledged Todoroki with an extremely serious nod of his head. He didn’t think he’d get permission this soon, but he was more than willing to work on it according to Bakugou’s pace.

He carefully placed Bakugou’s hands on top of his lap and then straightened his upper body back to a proper sitting position. Todoroki did not want to repeat his earlier mistake of placing too much weight on something or someone while at an awkward angle. That’s why he turned his body towards Bakugou, until he was pretty much sitting on the edge of the sofa, before he leaned in closer again. For additional support, he placed his hand on the sofa’s armrest. At first, he thought just that would do the trick, but the closer he got to Bakugou, the more he questioned the structural integrity of his position. In the end, rather than staying seated, Todoroki decided to get up and then place his knee back down on the sofa, in between Bakugou’s legs.

While all of that was unfolding, Bakugou simply silently stared at Todoroki like he had just grown a second head right before his eyes.

“What the heck are you doing…?” asked Bakugou, absolutely baffled about whatever that was supposed to be. He didn’t even know what name to give it since, c’mon now, what do you even call suddenly being cornered like that while sitting on a sofa? Sofa-don? To make his confusion worse, he also had no idea how they even ended up in such a position in the first place.

“Hm? I’m doing it properly, like you told me to,” explained Todoroki without really explaining anything. Not that he would be able to even if he wanted to. He wasn’t exactly the most talkative or eloquent person out there. A picture was worth a thousand words, but since he didn’t have any at hand, a physical demonstration would have to suffice.

“What is that even supposed to mean?” was what Bakugou was about to say to that unclear jumble of words, but before he could, he was already being kissed once again. This time, though, it wasn’t like the little peck from earlier; it was a proper kiss that had some weight and substance to it. He could feel Todoroki’s warm lips pressing against his, rather than just a ticklish tap. From there, the kiss evolved into a gentle nibble on his lower lip. Something about that made Bakugou close his eyes tightly on reflex.

How cute, Todoroki thought to himself as he got a small glimpse of Bakugou’s scrunched-up face. The hand on the sofa’s armrest turned out not to be as helpful as he initially thought, so he decided to allocate it elsewhere for the time being. He cupped Bakugou’s warm face, the pad of his thumb slowly sliding down his pursed lips as if saying, ‘let me in already.’ It took Todoroki a couple more kisses and nibbles to melt the stubbornness out of Bakugou, but the wait was still worth its weight in gold.

Just like during the press conference, Todoroki didn’t think twice about deepening their kiss the moment Bakugou gave him the tiniest of opportunities. With the hand cupping his face, he could even guide him into the optimal position to keep the kiss going as comfortably as possible. Not that he had much leeway to think about anything aside from the kiss. He was too busy enjoying the tongue-on-tongue contact to consider anything else, and Bakugou was most likely the same.

Only when the kiss started becoming a bit too oppressive for their lungs did they slow down a bit - and even that was done as if it was a huge sacrifice they were making. Todoroki unhurriedly pulled their lips apart, despite keeping their faces close enough that they could feel each other’s gasping breaths tickling their skin. When his thumb once again caressed Bakugou’s lips, this time they were moist and slick with their saliva. The sight of them in such an erotic state, while framed right below Bakugou’s unyielding eyes, did things to his body that he was probably better off not dwelling on too much.

Yeah, this is much more suitable for day 4, concluded Todoroki in the back of his mind, extremely pleased with the flushed expression he was seeing on Bakugou’s face. He could have ended it there and called it a day. Maybe he should have done exactly that. But they hadn’t created any rule that said they could only do this once a day. They were also on holiday right now. They had all the time in the world to indulge themselves.

Besides, Todoroki had just told himself he would do better from now on, but, in the end, all he had done so far was kiss. He needed to break that unconscious cycle if he wanted to see any actual progress in their mission.

With that in mind and no complaints whatsoever from Bakugou, Todoroki went after those delicious lips one more time. Since they had kissed so many times by now, with most of those kisses having happened in these last couple of minutes, Todoroki figured he should be about to reach that point where he could claim to be used to kissing Bakugou. However, strangely enough, he still felt as giddy about the n-th kiss as he had on the first. The act itself was becoming familiar to him, but his reaction to it remained the same. No, if anything, it was augmented each time it happened, especially the more kisses in a row there were. Thanks to that, he now had this even stronger and more desperate urge to kiss Bakugou. It was a miscalculation that he truly had not seen coming.

“Bakugou…” Todoroki whispered during a little break, a small respite to gather the needed oxygen to do it all over again. He lowered his body some more while leaning his chest closer to Bakugou, which made it no longer needed to keep his face cupped. His hand fell from Bakugou’s rosy cheeks and promptly nestled itself on the small of his back, crammed in the little space there was still between Bakugou and the sofa’s backrest.

The heat radiating from Bakugou’s body was starting to feel so tempting, doubly so with him already being tightly held in his arms. He was directly touching the hotness of his lips, mouth and tongue, but that didn’t mean that the rest of him would share the same temperature… right? Now that Todoroki had that question stuck inside his brain, he couldn’t help but feel hyperaware of the thin layer of fabric between them. It was summer, so neither of them was overdressed or wearing several pieces of clothing on top of each other. All it took was a little slip of his hand, and Todoroki would find out how hot Bakugou’s body truly was.

The payoff of his lack of self-restraint was as phenomenal as one would expect. The moment his fingers overcame the hem of Bakugou’s t-shirt and touched his smooth skin, they were unable to stop. His hand kept moving up Bakugou’s velvety back, now and then travelling over a scar or two. Todoroki could feel every muscle contracting, every bone moving as he climbed higher alongside his arched spine.

As for Bakugou… Well, what was there even left to say when your brain is still stuck on trying to figure out how the heck they had gotten to this point? That’s exactly where he was at. With his brain so busy thinking about the senseless, he had no time to spare on his body. After all, this was just a part of their mission. The better they were at pretending to be a couple, the easier their mission would be… supposedly. And they were legally married to one another… on paper. A kiss or two wouldn’t be an issue. A touch here and there was all within reasonable expectations. As for the rest… The rest was the rest. Just some little details that didn’t matter much in the grand scheme of things.

Besides, none of this necessarily felt that bad. Had Bakugou been unwilling or uncomfortable with any of it, he wouldn’t have given Todoroki a chance to do it ever again, mission or not. But kissing him was… okay. If he went about it in greater detail, he could even say it was pretty darn great. And the more they did it, the better it felt. That made total sense in his mind, as the more you did something, the better you got at it. So, of course kissing Todoroki already felt so good that his body was turning into putty as we speak.

He wasn’t a big fan of other people being all over his body or of that annoying skinship that his friends kept badgering him with, but it would be plain unreasonable to enforce that on Todoroki, given the circumstances. Couples were known for being all touchy-feely regardless of time, place or occasion, right? So, again, it was a part of their mission. And they were married. And he didn’t necessarily hate it. That made being touched by Todoroki and vice versa… fine. To sum it up in an accurate way, he would describe it as really soothing, but in a way that made his body fidget and squirm all over. He remembered once reading about how feeling somebody else’s body heat could have a calming effect, and sure enough, that matched his experience with Todoroki. With how stressful his daily life was, him having a soft spot for Todoroki’s gentle touch and caresses due to the body heat being transmitted through his hands wasn’t that outlandish.

“Ngh… Don’t stop now…” Bakugou mumbled when Todoroki pulled back yet again. Part of him knew it was just one more of the little breaks between voracious kisses, but none of that made much sense to him, so why would his words be any different? He slipped two fingers into the collar of Todoroki’s t-shirt, took a good hold of it and then yanked him back to the same spot as before, his mouth all ready to pick up where they had left off.

Just like it had happened the first time Bakugou had kissed him, Todoroki’s body froze instantly. But unlike that time, it only lasted for half a second or less. He thought they had already been going pretty heavy with the kissing, compared to previous times, but there was just something about this last kiss that sort of made him lose it completely. Bakugou might have just pushed one of his buttons by accident, for all he knew. The only thing that was clear to him right now was that his mouth wasn’t going anywhere else anytime soon.

Todoroki already had one of his arms coiled around Bakugou’s back, his feverish skin rubbing against the warmth he was clinging to, but no close was ever close enough. Due to how he was leaning over Bakugou, one of his knees pressed against the sofa, there would always be a gap between them. No matter what he did, there was no changing that. It felt awfully frustrating, like something or someone was conspiring against them, even though Todoroki had been the one deciding everything, his ‘attack position’ included.

To compensate for yet another miscalculation, he was relentless with his kisses. They had been at it for so long, their lips and the surrounding area had become quite the sloppy mess. Little trickles of saliva overflowed from the corner of Bakugou’s lips, which Todoroki would now and then lick clean right before he slipped his tongue right in. Each gasp for air came out desperate, but they still got drowned out by the wet, lewd sounds.

They were going all out with the making out, but even that soon became too lacking. Bakugou would, on occasion, tug at the collar of Todoroki’s t-shirt with his fingers, as if he was telling him to come just a little bit closer, but there wasn’t much Todoroki could do that didn’t end up with him squashing Bakugou against the sofa’s backrest or them falling off from their little corner on the sofa. Death was the only thing that awaited him if the second scenario was the one they accidentally landed on…

On the other hand, who was he to say no to Bakugou? Todoroki leaned on him as much as he could, despite the awkward space between their upper bodies. Just like he had predicted, that got Bakugou tightly pressed against the backrest, leaving him with little to no room to move. He heard no complaints from him; only gasps, sighs, and muffled whimpers left his red, soft lips.

I had no idea he could be this docile, chuckled Todoroki in the back of his mind. No, ‘docile’ wasn’t the right word to describe him. It was more like downright ‘weak to pleasure’. A single caress on his back with his fingertip had Bakugou quivering from head to toe, his jaw tensing despite refusing to interrupt their kisses. Such alluring reactions were beyond criminal when coming from someone who was worldwide known for being a demonic menace akin to an indestructible one-man army. Having those sorts of thoughts crossing through his mind only made Todoroki hungrier for more, which was as dangerous a double-edged sword as one would expect. Crap, at this rate, I’ll-

“ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, SHOUTO!?” Out of nowhere, a booming voice barged into the room, together with the crashing sound of a door being slammed open. Enji had a furious expression on his face, the flames erupting from him sputtering around in a wild, rebellious show. He opened his mouth wide to continue admonishing his son, but nothing but a dying gasp came out of it when his gaze finally reached the sofa. “Ah………………………”

“Yup, I’d say he looks pretty happy, yeah,” said Burnin with a mischievous smirk on her face, being the only person currently inside that room who hadn’t turned into stone. Endeavor was frozen in place mid-admonishment. Onima and Kidou, who had been trying to keep their boss under control, were also standing by the door, absolutely flabbergasted and slightly embarrassed. And, of course, the two who had been caught red-handed getting frisky on that sofa also went pretty quiet due to the unexpected interruption.

Calling this situation awkward would probably be the understatement of the year - or so would the majority involved in this incident agree on.

Be that as it may, you could always count on a certain icy-hot idiot being too dense to read the room in an appropriate manner, for better or for worse.

“You’re already this old and you still don’t know how to knock first?” Todoroki snapped back once he let out a quick, disappointed sigh, the direction of his gaze hinting at who exactly those words were meant for.

“Wha-!?” yelped Enji, that needless attack startling him out of his shock. “Why should I have to knock while at my hero agency!? Plus, this is a common area available to every staff member, a place where there’s zero expectations for… for… that !”

“How about all of us take a 5-minute break outside, and then we give this another chance?” suggested Onima, already in the process of pushing his boss’s humongous body out of the room.

“See? I told you neither Shouto nor Dynamight are the type to lie about their relationships,” sighed Kidou, also helping his coworker with the pushing. “It’s clear they are telling the truth about being married, so just give that whole ‘they are faking it’ story a rest already.”

“That’s exactly what they want you to think…!!!” roared Enji, kicking up a fuss on his way back outside. “But I won’t be fooled! I refuse to be fooled!”

Enji was still loudly contesting and arguing as Burnin gave them a quick thumbs-up and then closed the door behind herself.

“I can’t believe he’s still acting like this despite everything that has happened so far…” sighed Todoroki, his shoulders dropping just the slightest. This was exactly why he needed such an elaborate plan to be able to escape those messed-up family traditions. As expected, his father was the challenging opponent that Todoroki knew he would be. “We might have to… Ah.”

The moment Todoroki looked back at Bakugou, he immediately knew he was done for.

“Ah? Ah, you say…!?” hissed Bakugou, his erotic expression long pushed aside and replaced with a demonic scowl. He added a second hand to the one already holding onto Todoroki’s t-shirt and started shaking him back and forth. “What the heck were you thinking, doing something like that at a place like this!? Are you that dumb!? No, don’t you dare answer! I already know you are that dumb! But being a horny dumbass doesn’t mean you can do whatever the hell you please, whenever the hell you want, wherever the hell you are!”

“You were the one who told me not to stop,” pointed out Todoroki, allowing himself to be shaken around like a rag doll in hopes of quelling some of Bakugou’s anger.

“No, I did not!” denied Bakugou, his scowl getting even more creased, but also redder from embarrassment. That denial was meant as an attack against Todoroki’s truthful words just as much as it was being used in retaliation for his own memories. “I would never do something so stupid in a place like this! Stop trying to shift the blame to me, you perv! You were the one who decided to jump me right after telling me you’d do better from now on! So not only are you a horny dumbass, but you’re also a liar!”

“I didn’t lie. I meant it when I said I’d do better from now on,” sighed Todoroki, a bit relieved that the shaking had finally stopped. He used this chance to adjust himself and his clothes, and then sat down on the sofa in a more appropriate fashion. “Which is exactly why I gave it my best while kissing you. Besides, you literally gave me your okay before I did it. And before you start denying that too, just take into account that we have now successfully convinced Burnin, Onima and Kidou thanks to what just happened. Having them on our side will make the battle against my father much easier.”

“Tsk…” Unable to say anything back at that, Bakugou simply clicked his tongue in annoyance and crossed his arms over his chest in preparation to sulk some more all over again.

It’s pretty vexing that we got interrupted like this by my father, but…, Todoroki muttered inwardly, unable to resist the urge to reach out to Bakugou and use the back of his fingers to wipe the wet smudge on the corner of his lips. Bakugou obviously declined his help, angrily rubbed his mouth clean with the back of his hand and then slightly turned his back on him.

The reddish tint dyeing the tips of Bakugou’s ears was still perfectly visible, though, and it got Todoroki’s heart jumping around inside his chest as fast as when he was kissing him.

Maybe it’s for the best that we got interrupted. I have no idea how I would have stopped otherwise…

Chapter Text

Not so surprisingly, Todoroki and Bakugou found themselves in yet another tense setting, this one caused solemnly by the glaring eyes of a certain overbearing parent.

The emergency 5-minute break was over, and the previous group was all crammed inside the support room connected to the conference room. Given what had just happened, the ‘married couple’ was freely occupying the entire sofa, this time with a healthy amount of space between themselves, while Enji and his sidekicks were relegated to the chairs they had pulled from the nearby desk or simply standing behind their boss.

“You two are unbelievable… To think you’d go to such lengths to keep this dumb lie going…” grumbled Enji, his ice blue gaze tightening as he closely observed the pair sitting in front of him. Burnin loudly cleared her throat and nudged her elbow on his torso in an obvious attempt at warning him. Enji just mumbled something inaudible under his breath and then let out an extremely loud sigh. “The people you invited for the press conference have all left our premises, but a bunch of them are now circling the building and, a bit further away, the entire block.”

“In other words, we’re surrounded,” cheerfully added Burnin, a knowing smirk already present on her lips. “And that’s not all. Our reception area keeps getting call after call with questions about you two. We even had to get some additional staff in our customer service division. I imagine the hero agencies you usually partner up with are going through the same thing, Dynamight.”

“Yeah, I bet,” scoffed Bakugou, not surprised at all at hearing such news. Everything that was happening was exactly the kind of positive scandal he had been looking for, and, as such, all of this was within his expectations. During Todoroki’s sudden visits to his apartment, they had discussed at length about what would come after they publicly announced their marriage and how they would use it in their favour. While plenty that was outside of their control could unfold at any given moment, they had still done their due diligence to minimise any type of repercussions or accidents. “I made sure to email every single one of them earlier this morning so they wouldn’t be caught off guard by our press conference. I’m sure they know what to do from here onwards until I’m back from our honeymoon.”

“Honeymoon, my ass…” grumbled Enji under his breath, that word alone making his eyebrow twitch relentlessly. He was yet again hit by Burnin’s elbow as a result.

“We knew this would happen, so we’ll deal with the reporters and journalists outside,” said Todoroki after shooting his father with yet another expressionless glare. “I don’t want my private life to interfere with everyone’s work here at the agency.”

“Nah, we’re more than used to having to deal with the aftermath of the Todoroki family getting exposed for this or that,” reassured Burnin, waving her hand around in a dismissive manner. Both Onima and Kidou nodded along with her, for better or for worse. “At the very least, this time it’s for the right reasons. Right, Boss?”

“What ‘right reasons’!? They are lying to everyone’s faces!” Enji roared, letting Burnin’s pointed comment pass by without saying much about it - after all, it was the truth and, for the most part, his fault too. Even though another elbow jab came his way, this time he didn’t let it quiet him down instantly. “I don’t understand why all of you are letting them deceive you this blatantly! Don’t you find it weird how they are all ‘we’ve been secretly dating this whole time and now we’re married’ right after I told Shouto to pick a bride from the folder I so painstakingly created with his bright future in mind!? This is obviously just an elaborate scheme to avoid going through with that arranged marriage, which, by the way, has been a part of our family traditions for literal centuries!”

“So you say, but they seem pretty legit, if you ask me,” pointed out Onima, grabbing the copy of the marriage certificate that Todoroki had placed on display all over again. “No matter how you look at it, this is a real marriage certificate. They are married, Boss.”

“You keep saying, ‘it’s a lie, it’s a lie’ and that we’re scheming behind everyone’s backs like you’re a broken record, but what makes you even think I’d go along with such a bullshit plan in the first place?” groaned Bakugou with an annoyed roll of his eyes. “What’s in it for me to pretend to be dating him, let alone get married for real?”

“W-Well, that’s…” mumbled Enji, unable to come up with a good explanation against those counter-arguments Bakugou had just pulled out of thin air.

As expected of Bakugou. He really is good when it comes to denying the truth, deadpanned Todoroki in the back of his mind, simply throwing a quick glance at his ‘husband’ before he returned all of his attention to his father. Even though he didn’t expect Enji to give up any time soon, he could already see some cracks forming. They were very close to a meaningful breakthrough, what with everyone around them welcoming the news and accepting the newlywed couple. Maybe with just one last push, they would be able to temporarily stave off Enji while they dealt with the current journalistic stalking.

“I don’t know why you’re being so stubborn with all of this, but if it’s more proof that you need, I can give it to you,” sighed Todoroki, feeling slightly tired at just the thought of having this conversation all over again. Seeing Bakugou fidget a bit at his words, perhaps thinking he was going to kiss him again, made him feel a bit better and restored his good mood somewhat, but, sadly, that was not what he was about to do. He placed his hand in his pants’ pocket and grabbed his smartphone. Todoroki briefly browsed his contact list, pressed a specific entry and then put the ongoing call on speaker. “Hello, Mom.”

“Oh, good morning, Shouto,” said Rei with a bright, cheerful voice. “I just saw your press conference. I’m so happy you two have finally made your relationship public. Congratulations on receiving such a warm reception from everyone you invited there today.”

“Thanks,” deadpanned Todoroki, his expressionless eyes staring straight into his father’s as his mother’s warm words spread throughout the entire room. He had let Rei know in advance that he might need to call her after the press conference for this exact reason, so they had agreed on a quick dialogue between them that helped solidify his fake relationship with Bakugou. “I’m also glad everyone is being so understanding and welcoming. Well, almost everyone…”

“It’s a big surprise and change to some people, but I’m sure everyone will give you two their blessings once the shock has faded away,” chuckled Rei. “I know you two have a pretty packed schedule ahead of you, what with you moving in together, but let me know if you’re able to come over for a quick visit. I have yet to give you two my wedding gift.”

“Sure, I’ll talk with Bakugou about that and then let you know when we’re coming by,” acknowledged Todoroki, his fixed stare momentarily faltering back to Bakugou. This sudden invitation from his mother was quite the gamble, given that Bakugou was so insistent on keeping their families separate. But given the current circumstances, Bakugou couldn’t exactly turn her down on the spot. That suited Todoroki just fine. Bakugou wasn’t one to go back on his word, so if he said ‘yes’ right now, he would follow through with it no matter how much he’d like to do otherwise. Todoroki turned a bit more towards Bakugou and tilted his head to a very soft angle. “Do you not want to go?”

This damn bastard…! Bakugou cursed in the back of his mind, fighting hard not to crease his whole face into a frightening scowl. Todoroki was keeping the same deadpan expression he always had, but Bakugou could tell that he knew very well what he was doing. He would bet his entire savings that Todoroki was doing it in retaliation for all the ‘no’s he had given him so far whenever it came to their families. The worst part was that if he relented and said ‘yes’ this one time, Todoroki would definitely use it against him later on, under the guise of keeping things fair in both directions. However, despite knowing this, turning him down now would jeopardise their entire mission. That was the last thing Bakugou wanted to happen during such an early stage. “............I’ll go. Maybe… If we have the time…”

“Okay,” said Todoroki, his expressionless demeanour lighting up just the slightest. Most wouldn’t notice it unless they were paying really close attention or if they knew the minute differences in the short range of facial expressions that Todoroki had. “You heard him, right, Mom?”

“Yes. Yes, I did,” Rei chuckled once again, as she was capable of spotting the happiness hidden within her son’s voice. “If possible, come by the end of the day or during the weekend. That way, Fuyumi will be around too. She’s also very excited to congratulate you two in person. Oh, speaking of which. We have a few more recipes that I’m sure you’d love to try out yourself, Bakugou-kun.”

“Got it,” Bakugou briefly acknowledged, shooting a quick sideways glare at his ‘husband’. Why the hell was cooking always weaponised against him like this by the Todoroki family? Did they really think he was incapable of finding new recipes on his own? Bakugou made sure to store this little nitpick away in the back burner for when it was just the two of them. He was going to make it crystal clear to Todoroki what happened when he played around with fire in such a ridiculous way!

“I need to go now. We’re about to leave the hero agency and go sign the paperwork for our new home,” declared Todoroki, a bit bummed out that this was the extent of their conversation. He wanted Bakugou to speak with his mother a bit more, in hopes of changing his mind about his strict family rules. However, a victory was a victory. He could take his time bridging the gap between both sets of families now that they were legally connected through their marriage. “I’ll let you know how it goes later.”

“Good luck with it. I hope everything goes well,” said Rei as her parting words. After a quick bye, Todoroki pressed the red button on his smartphone’s touchscreen and ended the call.

“Is this good enough for you, or are you still going to insist we’re lying?” asked Todoroki, once again turning towards his father. He could see him gritting his teeth in pure exasperation, unable to deny the fact that his wife seemed to be fairly accustomed to the fact that their youngest son was in a romantic relationship with Bakugou.

“Grrr… I… I’m still not convinced!!!” roared Enji, getting up from his seat without any warning. He pointed his index finger at the ‘couple’ sitting on the sofa, the flames around his face once again dancing wildly from the intense emotions he was going through. “My gut is telling me there’s something else going on here. Your so-called relationship is too sudden and convenient for my liking. I will do my utmost to find out what exactly you two are scheming together!”

“Ugh, you’re so damn stubborn!” groaned Bakugou, loudly exhaling a long sigh as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Just what exactly do we have to do to make you believe us, huh? Why don’t you give us an example or two of your ‘relationship requirements’? Because I’m pretty sure we can clear them easy-peasy!”

“Fine! If you truly have been together for three whole years, why was I the only one kept in the dark about it?” asked Enji, taking that defiant youngster up on his offer. “Rei seems to know about you two, I’ll give you that, but you have also been claiming that your friends have been aware of this since the start, right? Well, why don’t you go ahead and prove it?”

“Alright,” said Bakugou with a dismissive shrug. He didn’t even think twice about grabbing his smartphone and opening his contact list. He then motioned the device towards Enji. “Pick whoever you want.”

“Grrr…” Enji tightened his gaze and closely observed Bakugou’s smartphone, almost as if he was discerning whether that was a trap or not. Burnin’s comment of ‘Ohh, this is about to get good’ was all the motivation he needed to snatch the phone from Bakugou’s hand and go through the contact list in search of the perfect witness. He wasn’t sure how close Bakugou was to their former classmates, but he was certain they would come to his defence if they were pressed for an answer. If nothing, the former class A was loyal to one another. That made the boys a bad target by default. If there were someone whom he could intimidate through his voice only, it would have to be one of the girls. Fortunately, Bakugou seemed to have the phone number of at least one of them, so that was the contact that he selected. “Let’s see if you’re really telling the truth or not!”

Heh, you just gave us a victory on a silver platter, snickered Bakugou in the back of his mind when he saw the name of the person Enji had picked. Honestly, he couldn’t have asked for a better outcome if he tried.

“Hello?” came Uraraka’s voice after a couple of rings on speaker mode. “It’s pretty rare for you to call, Bakugou-kun? Is something the matter?”

“This is Endeavor speaking,” interrupted Enji, not giving either Bakugou or Todoroki the chance to intervene or warn Uraraka about what was going on. This was a serious test they needed to pass without any cheating involved. “I’m borrowing Bakugou’s phone for a while.”

“Eh? Is Bakugou-kun okay?” worriedly asked Uraraka, clearly confused about what exactly was going on. That was just perfect, Enji thought to himself, a victorious smirk already tugging at the corner of his lips. “Didn’t he and Todoroki-kun just finish their press conference?”

“They’re fine. I’m just… ascertaining some details about their relationship,” scoffed Enji, already counting the minutes to the tragic end of his son’s doomed plan to escape an arranged marriage.

“Oh, that’s a relief to hear,” Uraraka sighed, her voice less shaky and uncertain. “It would be terrible if something bad were to happen just a few days after they got married. They have been looking forward to it for the longest time now, so I want them to enjoy their honeymoon period in peace and quiet. They’ve done so much for us and our country; they deserve to have the best marriage the world can offer, at the very least. I’m sure you must also be very happy for them, Endeavor-san. After all, Todoroki-kun is at his best when he’s with Bakugou-kun!”

“.........What?” Enji somehow managed to blurt out that sole word, his jaw on the verge of slacking wide open had he not caught himself on time. Surely there must have been some sort of misunderstanding, or maybe that smartphone was being hacked by someone on their side… because this conversation seemed to be confirming everything that Todoroki and Bakugou had told him so far…

“D-Did I say something wrong?” asked Uraraka, sounding quite confused about Enji’s flabbergasted scepticism.

“No… You didn’t…” grumbled Enji, ending the phone call in a rush once he saw the mischievous smirk on Bakugou’s face. He didn’t even need to open his mouth to hit Enji with an ‘I told you so’.

“Just for the record, we never told you about us because we all knew you would do exactly what you are doing right now,” added Todoroki with the intention of dealing the finishing blow. “We were already pretty busy back then while kickstarting our official pro hero careers. The last thing we needed was to also deal with your childish power plays and unreasonable demands. That’s why everyone agreed to keep it a secret from you until it was time to announce our relationship publicly.”

“You'd better be glad we talked with you first rather than let you find out together with the rest of the world,” snickered Bakugou, twisting the knife that his ‘husband’ had so masterfully stabbed into his own father.

That last sentence was an instant KO - Todoroki Enji had undoubtedly lost.

For now.

Chapter Text

“Ugh, we’re finally done with that…” grumbled Bakugou, feeling so very glad to be out of that room at long last. After he and Todoroki tag-teamed Enji and crushed his fighting spirit, the impromptu meeting ended fairly fast and without further disturbances. “Now we just need to find a way out that doesn’t drive me insane on day 1 of my time off…”

“Yeah… This is worse than I thought it would be,” deadpanned Todoroki, his heterochromatic eyes staring fixedly at the outside of the glass front doors and walls of the humongous building hosting Endeavor’s hero agency. Never mind the manicured cityscape, or the sporadic cars and buses passing by, the only thing visible was an endless horde of people - far more people than Todoroki ever thought possible in a single sidewalk. He tilted his head just the slightest. “Maybe we went a bit too far?”

“Ya think!?” hissed Bakugou, throwing a dirty glare at his ‘husband’ and the culprit in question. “What were you even expecting to happen after you kissed me like that and literally made me fall from that freakin’ chair, huh!?”

“Well… Not this…” Todoroki admitted earnestly, looking a bit embarrassed and perhaps even regretful as Bakugou’s crimson eyes angrily persecuted him alongside his words. “I figured some of them would just, you know, go interview people we know and the like.”

“Yeah, I bet some of them did. But I also bet that everyone who wasn’t here in person has come rushing in hopes of still getting some good scoops midway through our scandal!” pointed out Bakugou, doing his best to keep his venomous voice just between the two of them. They already had plenty of eyes on them as they stood in the lobby area of the hero agency; they didn’t need ears added to the mix, either. “When Burnin’ said we were surrounded, I thought she was just exaggerating or teasing us. But nope, we are surrounded in every single sense of that word! BECAUSE OF YOU!”

“I already said I’m sorry…” sighed Todoroki, his shoulders dropping despondently some more. “I really didn’t think our ‘last resort’ manoeuvre would be this effective… Not after the bland response we got from my father or his sidekicks…”

“Of course a calm, mindful reaction would look bland in your dense eyes…” Bakugou groaned in pure exasperation. Enji aside, he was sure they got a ‘bland response’ from Burnin’ and company because they were so well acquainted with both Todoroki and Bakugou. Plus, Todoroki was to become their boss in the future. Freaking out in a very apparent way would not only be extremely rude, but it could also damage their professional relationship and reputation. Not that Bakugou thought they’d go crazy with the reactions. They dealt with pro hero Endeavor and all the skeletons he kept in the closet for several years; seeing a kiss or two was nothing in comparison. “But never mind that now! We need to find a way out of here that doesn’t get us instantly swarmed by those vultures!”

“Since we’re surrounded, they must also be keeping guard on the employee’s only entrance we used earlier,” pointed out Todoroki, doing exactly as requested and putting that portion of the conversation aside for the time being. “Maybe we could call a taxi directly here? We have security guarding the gate to that entrance. They’d let the taxi in but keep the journalists and reporters out.”

“Nah, taxi drivers aren’t used to this sort of situation,” said Bakugou, crossing his arms over his chest as he tried to figure out which one of his ‘escape plans’ could be safely deployed to solve this unexpected crisis. “We could very well end up with a driver that cracks under pressure and runs out of the car the moment those vultures surround the vehicle. Using sidekicks and staff to cordon off the road for long enough for us to get the hell out of here could work, but they also have better things to do than to babysit and keep those desperate morons under control.”

“I don’t think they’d be that opposed to giving us a hand with this, too, but yeah, I get what you mean,” agreed Todoroki while nodding his head along. They had disrupted the daily schedule of the entire hero agency plenty with the press conference; he couldn’t bother them any more than he already did. “That only leaves us with one option: using our Quirks to leave through the rooftop.”

“Hell no! We’re definitely not doing that!” Bakugou rejected Todoroki’s suggestion nearly instantly, his face creased with a moody frown. “If we had our hero costumes with us, it would be one thing. But with our civilian clothes on? Yeah, no, thanks! I’m saving that for a true emergency.”

“Oh…” Todoroki was a bit saddened by having his plan shot down this fast, but he also could see why Bakugou did so. Just because they were licensed pro heroes didn’t mean they could abuse the privilege of being allowed to use their Quirks while out in public. Plus, their hero costumes were designed to lessen any kickbacks their Quirks may cause - that applied especially to the two of them, as Bakugou needed those arm braces to not injure himself with his explosions, and Todoroki required some help keeping his body temperature not too cold and not too hot.

As for the ‘true emergency’ Bakugou was alluding to… that was obviously about the villain group that wanted to recruit him. Now that their marriage was publicly revealed, it was only a matter of time for them to make their move - whether that meant contacting Bakugou directly, going after Todoroki to eliminate him, or causing a big commotion to disturb their ‘honeymoon vacation’. They needed to be on their guard and in top shape at all times in anticipation of any eventual incidents and attacks.

“Then what should we do?” asked Todoroki, glancing back and forth between Bakugou and the crowd gathered outside the building.

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” grumbled Bakugou with a sullen hmph. “If you stop bothering me while I’m thinking, I’ll come up with something way faster.”

How am I supposed to know you want to think in silence if you keep talking with me without ever mentioning that?, Todoroki deadpanned in the back of his mind. He once again went along with Bakugou’s demands and shut up. Since they had discarded so many plans already, he, too, decided to think up a different solution. Maybe we could create some sort of diversion and use that chance to slip past-

“Great! You two are still here.” Burnin’s voice came from behind them out of the blue, much to their surprise. Since she had taken heartbroken Enji back to his office on the upper floors, they figured they wouldn’t see her anymore for the rest of the week. However, it seemed she had come back to the lobby area with them in mind specifically. “Here ya go! You can borrow it until you’re back from your honeymoon.”

“Oh.” Just as Todoroki was turning around to face Burnin, she threw something towards him. He caught it flawlessly with just one of his hands, eliciting the sound of metal bumping against metal. When Todoroki looked at what was now resting on the palm of his hand, he saw a car key connected with a small, metal keychain. He promptly recognised it as the car keys to one of the many vehicles the hero agency kept in the basement level garage, meant to be used by staff members, sidekicks and pro heroes while they were out and about in official business. “Are you sure we can take it for something that isn’t work…?”

“Yeah, go right ahead. We have plenty of them in ‘stock’. One less for just a week won’t do us any harm,” reassured Burnin while waving her hand dismissively. She winked at them and placed her index finger to her lips. “But try to keep it a secret from Endeavor, or he’ll kick up a fuss all over again.”

“Thanks. We’ll use it wisely,” said Todoroki, offering a small smile filled with a quiet dose of gratitude. He glanced at Bakugou while jingling the car keys with his fingers. “I guess we now have a whole new solution to our current problem.”

“Perfect. Anyone who gets in our way is about to get run over,” snorted Bakugou, his lips curling into a mischievous smirk. Having their own vehicle indeed solved their current problem. It would also be very convenient to use as they went about their day, organising the moving process one step at a time. Just as he was about to snatch the key from Todoroki’s hand, it was raised higher in the air, out of his grasp.

“I think it’s safer if I drive,” deadpanned Todoroki, protectively clasping the car keys with his entire hand. He doubted that Bakugou would actually run over any gutsy journalist or paparazzi that placed themselves in front of or behind the car, but he was definitely crazy enough to drive in a very dubious manner just so they could lose anyone following them. Todoroki was a good enough driver, so he’d be able to perform such a duty as well as Bakugou would have, but without the road rage.

“Hmph! Suit yourself!” Although Bakugou was dissatisfied with that outcome, he really wanted to get a move on already. The press conference might have been shorter than he had accounted for, but they had wasted a whole lot more time with the aftermath than planned, all thanks to a certain stubborn old man. He glanced at his smartphone to check the time and then started walking towards the elevator. “Let’s get going then!”

“Okay,” said Todoroki, briefly offering a small nod as his farewell to Burnin. He easily caught up with Bakugou and stepped inside the elevator at the same time as him. The humming of the rectangular box being smoothly lowered to the underground garage was the only sound that could be heard for a good while, but once the door slid open to allow their exit, Todoroki started a new conversation. “Are we going to the realtor’s office first?”

“Obviously,” sighed Bakugou with a fed-up roll of his eyes. He had no idea which car the key belonged to, so he simply followed along next to Todoroki. “Once the rental contract is signed and paid for, and we get the house keys, we can start worrying about how the heck we’re going to do the moving while being followed by those stalkers.”

“Can we go to the realtor who owns our apartment complex, too?” asked Todoroki, unlocking the car from a distance to know where it was parked. When the flashing lights made its location known, they both walked towards it and got in without much care. Todoroki kept talking as he adjusted the driver’s seat and buckled the seat belt. “I don’t know about you, but I still need to break the lease on my current apartment. We don’t know how long our mission will take. It would be a waste of money to keep renting it while I’m living elsewhere. Though I have no idea how much I’ll have to pay to break the lease earlier than planned…”

“My rental contract is on a monthly basis. Sucks to suck, huh?” snorted Bakugou, snickering like a mischievous hyena at Todoroki’s poor planning. Then again, their mission was such a rushed ordeal that it probably would be impossible for Todoroki to follow through with the rental contract he had signed upon moving to that apartment, no matter how hard he tried. He quickly pressed a button on the dashboard, and all windows of the car darkened - a convenient perk of using company equipment was that it was adapted to be used in stealth mode, providing them with additional masking from those outside. “C’mon, let’s get a move on already.”

“Yeah, yeah,” sighed Todoroki, starting the car engine on command. The moment the car moved from its parking spot, they heard the automatic mechanism of the garage door echoing in the distance. The dim inside of the underground garage steadily filled with sunlight the closer they got to the open door. The tinted windows easily blocked most of the inside of the car from the outside, but to those inside, their surroundings were still as bright as they would have been with regular windows. Huh, technology sure can be convenient. Maybe it would be okay to let Bakugou drive too at some point…

The car smoothly drove up the ramp to the outside, the bright summer sun momentarily obfuscating their eyes. Once they hit the same side road they had walked on earlier that morning, the garage door cranked itself closed once again. From there, it took them a few seconds to reach the bar gate and the security guard keeping it safe. It was the very same sight they had observed earlier… except for the bustling crowd occupying the entirety of the sidewalk from either direction. Several vans were also sporadically parked along the road that connected with that side road. They were most likely the vehicles being used by the news crews and journalists surrounding Endeavor’s hero agency and the entire neighbourhood.

When they saw the car stopping on the other side of the closed bar gate, the reporters and journalists closest to it started whispering with one another, cameras and cellphones ready to be used. However, they seemed indecisive about what to do, since they couldn’t tell who was inside the car. As far as they were aware, that vehicle belonged to the hero agency. However, any staff member or sidekick could be currently using it to do their job. At most, they only knew for sure it couldn’t be Endeavor, as he had his own well-known private chauffeur and car.

“Hah, look at all of these suckers,” snorted Bakugou, pretty satisfied with the doubtful expressions on the reporters’ faces. He placed his elbow on the door and then leaned the side of his face on the palm of his hand, taking in that sight with plenty of gusto. “They’re like confused little ducklings, unsure whether they should follow this car or not. Now I kinda feel like rolling down the window and flicking them off as we drive away.”

“Don’t, that would be like pouring gasoline on a raging fire,” sighed Todoroki, driving them out of there before Bakugou could begin taunting the journalists and reporters for real. “You’ll have plenty of time to scream at them once we get back to our apartment complex. You said they’d be there waiting for me since they know where I live, right?”

“It’s not like I know that for sure. No, actually, scratch that. I do know it for sure. If anything, those professional stalkers are predictable as hell,” grumbled Bakugou, carefully observing their surroundings. The further away from the hero agency they got, the fewer ‘stalkers’ he could spot amongst the regular citizens. Also satisfied with that, Bakugou then grabbed his smartphone from his pocket. “I’ll give you the directions to the realtor’s office.”

“Yeah, please do,” said Todoroki with a small nod of his head. Being a backseat driver might give Bakugou some control of the situation, which in turn will improve his mood even further. Heh, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve done precisely that in the past few days. Who would have thought that being married required so much compromising and tolerance?

Todoroki being a team player was a given since the day he learned to accept the entirety of his Quirk back when he was in his first year of high school. As for Bakugou… He only acted as one when it benefited him in some way. While it could be said that having a visibly peaceful marriage with Todoroki was the best way to complete their ‘mission’, he still found it surprising how many times Bakugou had swallowed his pride in favour of compromising with his ‘husband’.

Thinking about such things made Todoroki’s chest feel so warm and itchy. It also gave him a certain degree of confidence that he’d one day manage to change his mind about their families. He had already gotten one ‘yes’ out of him, for as shaky as it might have been. Bakugou would follow through with it; that, Todoroki was sure of. He was also sure that meeting with his mother and older sister would be a very nice family gathering, a completely different experience when compared to meeting with just his father. That stark difference was perhaps the needed impetus to convince Bakugou to also host a family meeting with his mother and father, much like Mitsuki had requested. And speaking of which…

“Bakugou, have you already talked with-” Before that question could fully come out of his mouth, a phone started ringing. It wasn’t Todoroki’s, since he didn’t feel any vibrations coming from his pocket, so it had to be Bakugou’s. He briefly removed his gaze from the road ahead of him and quickly glanced at his companion, who was just glaring daggers at the smartphone’s screen rather than answering the incoming call. “You’re not going to pick up?”

“Hell no. It’s Dunce Face. There’s only one reason he could be calling me right now, and I’m not falling for it,” scoffed Bakugou, promptly sliding the pad of his index finger on the touchscreen to reject the call. That rejection would be a good enough ‘Leave me alone!’ message.

Yeah, I can see Kaminari calling Bakugou just so he can laugh at the little accident that happened during the press conference, sighed Todoroki to his own buttons. Given the scowl on Bakugou’s face, he was better off saving that interrupted question for a later time. He seemed far too annoyed already to talk calmly about such things. Still, Kaminari sure knows how to rub Bakugou the wrong way. First, he gave us a wedding gift like that, now he’s calling because of the kiss and fall from the press conference. Bakugou will snap at him at this rate…

Not that Todoroki could blame Kaminari much. Even if they knew that their marriage was just a means to an end, it was still a drastic and very sudden change for everyone. Then with that kiss and the fall and all the future couple acting while in public… Yes, the two of them would be the ‘talk of the town’ among their peers for a good while.

“Oh. Did you include our ‘last resort’ manoeuvre in the guidelines you sent them?” asked Todoroki, the kiss in question popping up in his mind yet again. No matter how busy they might be, their former classmates would definitely read through the documents Bakugou had sent them, if only to amuse themselves and get a good laugh out of their new ‘relationship status’. They should be ready to answer any questions that come their way, but if they weren’t informed beforehand about the kiss strategy (like Midoriya had), Todoroki could imagine them going insane because of what happened during the press conference.

“Huh? Why would I-” Before Bakugou could finish whatever he was about to say, his phone yet again acted as an interruption, loudly ringing and buzzing while flashing a new name on the screen. “Tsk!”

It was Sero this time. Since it was coming right after Kaminari, that could only mean two things: either something bad had happened and he was seeking some serious advice from Bakugou, or they were all goofing off rather than working. Both were equally as likely, especially during a calm day where the biggest news going around was a relationship reveal.

Bakugou wasn’t one to take risky gambles where he wasn’t guaranteed a victory. After grumbling something under his breath, he finally picked up the call.

He really should not have.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-”

Bakugou slid his finger against the red endcall button and slammed his smartphone screen down on his lap. A quick glance at his demonic facial expression told Todoroki everything he needed to know about that second-long phone call.

“I guess you didn’t tell them about it,” concluded Todoroki, voicing that observation more to himself than to his travelling companion. His next words were meant for Bakugou, though. “I’m surprised my father’s quick conversation with Uraraka went so well, then, given the circumstances. I’m even more surprised that you have her phone number and have it saved with a name that my father would recognise.”

“Why wouldn’t I have the phone number of my childhood friend’s girlfriend?” grumbled Bakugou with a fed-up eyeroll. Todoroki didn’t say it out loud, but seeing it from that angle, he couldn’t help but think ‘fair enough’. “Also, compared to these clowns, Uraraka is actually useful and worthy of my respect, even if she has terrible taste in men. She also knows how to follow orders properly. I knew Endeavor would eventually get to a point where he’d interrogate our morons. I just needed him to do it in a controlled environment. So I baited him to do it now, using my phone. I also knew he’d look for the weakest ‘link’ in our friend group, which, for someone as antiquated as him, would always be the women. That’s why I added a bit more info to the stuff I sent to Uraraka, Asui, Ashido, Hagakure, Jirou and Yaoyorozu, to warn them about this beforehand. But since I only have the private phone numbers of the first three, I made sure to change their contact info to the names your daddy dearest would recognise at a glance. The first step to scam someone without their knowledge is social engineering, something that is easier than stealing candy from a baby when it’s being used against someone you know really well. All in all, this is why I should be the one making all of the plans from now on.”

“This is exactly why that villain group wants to recruit you so badly, you mean?” deadpanned Todoroki, completely baffled at what he had just heard despite remaining as expressionless as usual. By now, he had lost count of how many times he had thought that Bakugou was as well-suited for villainy as he was to being a pro hero, and that the world should be so very thankful he was so fixated on being the latter. However, it had been a while since he last had front-row seats to one of Bakugou’s genius displays of being extremely evil for the good of human society.

“Oh, shut it. It’s not like I’m breaking any laws,” scoffed Bakugou, promptly dismissing Todoroki’s comments as inaccurate, no matter how truthful they might actually be. This small intermission helped him cool down a little bit, at the very least. He grabbed his phone again and opened the app they used for their Class A group chat.

He wasn’t surprised at all to find there utter chaos. A significant number of them seemed to be currently online, and all of them were discussing one thing and one thing only: Bakugou, Todoroki, and the press conference. Some were actively sharing short clips and screenshots of what was being spread around through social media, while others simply reacted to it all. Bakugou’s sixth sense told him that, if this kept going without any grown-up supervision, these adult-sized brats would find a way to cause some serious trouble for him and Todoroki without meaning to. Hence, Bakugou typed a single message to all of them.

[Bakugou] Keep this up, and every single one of you will be added to the hit list I’ll be using once I join the villain side

The reaction to such a threatening message was instant. The bustling group chat went completely silent for a few seconds. They must have been freaking out right about now. Once the shock faded and was replaced with a primal fear, the messages resumed, but only to send Bakugou apologetic words and stickers.

“Hmph, idiots, all of them…” mumbled Bakugou under his breath as he switched from the group chat app back to the map he was using to guide Todoroki. That issue seemed to be dealt with for the time being, and he could go back to focusing full-time on acquiring his new home. “Turn left on the street here. There’s a small parking lot a few meters ahead. We can walk the rest of the way to the realtor’s office.”

“Got it,” Todoroki acknowledged, smoothly steering the car in the direction Bakugou had pointed to. Much like it had been mentioned, they quickly found a small parking lot slotted between two buildings. They couldn’t fit even a full dozen cars in such a small location, but luckily, there was one parking space still available. Their timing couldn’t have been better. Todoroki could already feel a rush of excitement blossoming in the pits of his stomach as he turned off the car engine and removed his seat belt. “Is the parking here paid or free?”

“From what it says here, the first 30 minutes are free. We should be good to go,” leisurely said Bakugou with a quick shrug. He too unbuckled his seat belt and got out of the car, exchanging its air-conditioned interior with the muggy outside. The summer sun shone down on them intensely, its sunbeams feeling uncomfortably toasty against their skin. It was truly the perfect day to start their vacation. Bakugou put his sunglasses on and then gave a small jerk with his chin in the same direction from which they had come. “Let’s go, the building in question isn’t even a 5-minute walk from here.”

“Okay.” With that simple command, Todoroki obediently followed Bakugou’s lead, walking right next to him. While the streets here were much calmer compared to the crowded mess around Endeavor’s hero agency, plenty of passersby started gawking at them the moment they were recognised. Those news seemed to be circulating just as fast as they expected them to. That means all of these people are under the impression that we’re a married couple, right?

If that was the case, then was it really okay for them to just walk side-by-side? Wouldn’t it be more couple-y if they held hands or something along those lines? There might not be any reporters or paparazzi around, as far as Todoroki could tell, but the civilians looking at them were also a good way to accumulate more recognition in all sorts of social media websites and online forums.

Yeah, holding hands should be fine, concluded Todoroki in the back of his mind after that quick evaluation of the current environment they were in. With a single, swift sideways motion, Todoroki’s hand brushed against Bakugou’s right before he grabbed it.

“What are you doing now?” asked Bakugou, halting mid-step when an unexpected source of warmth captured his hand. He glanced downwards and observed their joined hands with the same curiosity and confusion of a biologist studying an alien life form.

“I figured holding hands would be okay,” explained Todoroki, his head innocently cocked to the left in response to Bakugou’s puzzlement. “There might not be any journalists here, but plenty of people around us right now will post about it online. Is this no good?”

“...Fine,” sighed Bakugou after quickly assessing all the pros and cons of such an act. “But at least grab my other hand. I want my good arm to be free and available, just in case anything happens.”

“Oh. Okay,” said Todoroki, awkwardly letting go of Bakugou’s hand. He walked around him from behind and, after settling on the opposite side, grabbed his right hand instead. Given the extensive damage he suffered in that arm during the big war against All for One and the League of Villains, it was understandable that Bakugou favoured his left arm more now. They might be off from work right now, but his ‘husband’ still had a large target on his back, so to speak, and needed to be on his guard whenever out in the open. Todoroki decided to keep that in mind from now on and use said knowledge during future handholding moments. “Is this better?”

“Yeah… I guess…” grumbled Bakugou, feeling uncharacteristically reticent about how to respond. He wasn’t used to walking while holding hands with someone, which made this simple act feel awkward and slightly mechanical. On the other hand (no pun intended), it didn’t feel bad or uncomfortable enough to make Bakugou want to yank his hand from Todoroki’s grasp. It was something acceptable per their mission’s terms, so Bakugou willed himself to be okay with it so long as his personal preferences were respected.

They peacefully walked like that for the next couple of minutes until they arrived at a tall, multistory building. The front door was of the glass, automatic type, offering a full view of the lobby area. The room was of simple build, with a couple of potted plants here and there, two elevators and a rectangular wooden board on one of the walls with the names of every single company and enterprise with an office in that building inscribed on it. A quick inspection of that board gave them the floor they needed to visit.

Their entrance into the elevator was probably the best chance they had to stop holding hands. Still, Todoroki’s quietly fidgety excitement left him unable to notice the right timing for it. He had been looking forward to doing this for so many days that he felt he could wake up from this dream come true at any moment now and experience the disappointment of a lifetime. The hand he was carefully holding was the only thing that grounded him to reality and reassured him that this was not a dream or a hallucination. In a way, he was experiencing the same delighted nervousness that he felt on the day he got married to his spouse.

“Bakugou,” called Todoroki just as Bakugou was pressing the button to the 8th floor, and the elevator’s door was sliding shut.

“What now?” sighed Bakugou, his gut already warning him that he was about to hear something absolutely ridiculous. And yes, part of that gut feeling was correct; the format in which it ended up being expressed was a bit different, though. Rather than a coherent but unhinged sentence, he got a small peck to his lips. His free hand moved so fast, it was nothing more than a blur as it hit the top of Todoroki’s head with a chopping motion and elicited a ‘ouch’ from him. “‘The heck are you doing!? How many times have I told you not to do that unless it’s necessary!?”

“Yeah, I’m awake,” confirmed Todoroki, nodding his head a single time while ignoring Bakugou’s admonishments. Both the kiss and the pain felt real, so this was indeed happening. That got him in a very good, extremely satisfied mood, much to Bakugou’s bafflement. Once the elevator’s door opened once again with a quick ‘ding’ sound, he nearly ran into the corridor, pulling Bakugou along with him.

“You seriously make absolutely no sense…” sighed Bakugou, completely losing his will to continue scolding that dense idiot. Neither words nor actions seemed to get through his thick skull. Why waste his time and breath with it? After so many years dealing with Todoroki day in and day out, Bakugou learned the best thing he could do to deal with this was to simply ignore him and move on. And that was precisely what he did this time, too.

Just like downstairs, the front door to the realtor’s office was the stereotypical glass door, enclosed between two glass panels on the sides and one from above. The side glass panels were covered with different listings for apartments and houses in their current catalogue, both for renting and for sale. As far as they could tell, the apartment they planned on renting wasn’t one of them.

“Be sure to behave yourself while in there, or the room you’ll be moving into is the fuckin’ balcony,” whispered Bakugou between gritted teeth. The look in his blood-red eyes screamed loud and clear that this threat was not just empty words - Todoroki would truly be forced to sleep outside if he pulled any weird stunt. Interpreting Todoroki’s silence as an acknowledgement, Bakugou slipped his hand from his grasp and used it to push the glass door open.

The ‘newlywed couple’ was welcomed into the realtor’s office with open arms by a young receptionist. She had been notified that Bakugou would be coming by to sign the rental contract with one of their real estate agents, but since it was his real name that was used, she had no way to know who he was beforehand. However, with just a single glance at the two of them, she immediately recognised them as the two pro heroes that were currently trending in all sorts of corners of the internet and news channels. Just like she had been instructed, she notified the agent who was in charge of their property and then accompanied the two clients to the cushioned seats in the waiting area.

“Would you like anything to drink, like coffee or some tea?” offered the receptionist, a big smile on her lips.

“No, we’re good. Thank you,” declined Todoroki after a quick glance at Bakugou. He had been taking his sunglasses off while that exchange happened, but had shown no indication that he was interested in partaking in the offer. That concluded the receptionist’s job, and so she returned to the front desk, every now and then looking over in their direction with eyes filled with excitement and curiosity.

That got Todoroki wondering - what exactly were people saying about them on social media and the news? This wasn’t the first time he had been involved in a romantically inclined scandal, but it was the first time the truth was being shared through such means - even if said ‘truth’ was 100% fabricated for the purpose of their ‘mission’. In the past, Todoroki simply denied those rumours, and that was about it. Those scandals were solved on their own due to a lack of evidence to support them. He didn’t look more closely into them or take any special measures to correct those misguided beliefs. On the other hand, this time, they needed their scandal to blow out of proportion in a controlled manner. Their version of the ‘truth’ had to be shared everywhere until it was general public knowledge. And if possible, Todoroki wanted it to be seen as something positive rather than a shameful secret that had been exposed.

His coworkers’ reaction was good. The journalists and reporters invited to the press conference were also very accepting for the most part. But what about the rest of the world?

Both he and Bakugou were popular pro heroes, each one in their own way and for different reasons. Due to his looks, Todoroki had obviously amassed a pretty big fanbase amongst the opposite gender. He was cheered on fervently by women of all ages and in all walks of life. He was also fairly popular with men, thanks to his strong Quirk, winning streak and aloof personality - the latter being something they considered to be a breath of fresh air among so many smiling, energetic pro heroes.

As for Bakugou, well… he was a harder case to analyse. He was undoubtedly popular, but more because he was indisputably one of the strongest pro heroes the country had ever seen. Since he went pro, he had no losses or accidents to speak of. He won every fight, saved any lives at risk, and made the world a better place just by being there. No one could accuse him of being bad at his job, had those been the only requirements and metrics. However, his personality wasn’t a good match for the type of public role he had. Most people needed more than a flawless, strong hero to become a fan of theirs. Pro hero Dynamight didn’t partake in publicity stunts, had a penchant for being very loud and brusque while speaking, and overall ignored and avoided the mass media unless he was in a position where he had no other choice but to communicate with them. That translated into a lower popularity among those who weren’t hardcore pro-hero fans, those really into daily news, people in the same industry as them or… a portion of the villain population.

While that meant that Bakugou had fewer fans when compared to Todoroki, the ones he had were certainly much more passionate and vocal about it - something that was as good as it could be bad, depending on which group that fan belonged to…

These two sets of wildly different factors were why Todoroki was so curious about what others were saying about their marriage announcement… or so he was interpreting this itchy curiosity that he was experiencing for the first time in his life. He could see some of his fans being disappointed that he was no longer single, in the same sense as what happened when a famous idol started dating someone, or some of Bakugou’s more militaristically oriented fans complaining that they should focus on being heroes only, rather than entertain silly romantic bs. But, overall, he couldn’t think of many reasons why they would be against their marriage. It was a sudden announcement, yes, but their unusual timing wasn’t bad per se.

I really want to take a small peek, but… said Todoroki in the back of his mind, lifting his gaze from his pants’ pocket to the man fast walking towards them. It was most likely the same real estate agent that Bakugou had been communicating with these past few days.

“W-Welcome, and I’m sorry to keep you waiting,” stammered the real estate agent, oozing the same nervous energy of someone who wasn’t confident about the feasibility of a deal. He politely gestured to them to follow him to a partially enclosed cubicle that was used to maintain some privacy during client meetings.

Both Todoroki and Bakugou had gone through this exact same process while looking for their respective apartments, so they already knew what to expect and what to bring along with them. The only thing that was new and different for Todoroki was that, surprisingly, the real estate agent actually provided them with the summary of a police report linked to the property they were aiming to rent, calling it a full disclosure of the past of an akiya location. By how nervous and uncomfortable the real estate agent looked while going through this section of their meeting, it was obvious that this was the point where plenty of clients had changed their minds in the past. Todoroki was expecting to hear something along the lines of the apartment having been used as the headquarters of a serial killer or being the location of the grisly murder of an entire family. But it turned out that the elderly resident who was renting the apartment had died there from natural causes, which went unreported for a few weeks until the real estate agency noticed the missed rent payments and was unable to get in contact with them. Todoroki was beyond nonplussed by such an anticlimactic reveal.

It seems plenty of people are superstitious in the weirdest of ways, was Todoroki’s main takeaway from this experience. Or maybe he was the weird one, having become accustomed to the concept of death after being involved in the pro hero world since high school… or was it maybe since he was a child being trained by his pro hero father? Whatever might be the case, he wasn’t bothered by it, and Bakugou clearly didn’t think much of it either. This apartment that everyone seemed to want to avoid was apparently the perfect fit for the two of them.

The relief in the real estate agent’s eyes once he was told they’d still take the apartment was indescribable. It was as if they were taking a huge burden off his shoulders, which, in a way, was most likely true. Failing to make a deal over a specific property for years on end was probably taking its toll on his professional reputation and maybe even affecting his commission earnings. Getting rid of this ‘cursed’ apartment would become the highlight of his year, if not of his entire career.

From that point on, their meeting went on even more smoothly. All the background checks that needed to be done were successfully cleared, the rental contract was fully explained, and the initial payments that needed to be made were discussed and completed. With that, the two of them were presented with the rental contract anew, as both of their names would be in it.

Todoroki once again felt that same thrilled rush that he experienced while he was filling in the papers for their courthouse marriage. It was truly fascinating how a single sheet of paper could make someone’s heart beat so fast. That had to be the same experience that every adult went through when signing the documents to their new home, or so Todoroki concluded. This event was very pleasing indeed, and a smile would have been present on his face had he not been born with a perpetually expressionless demeanour.

I’m sure Bakugou is also quite happy with his new, bigger kitchen, happily noted Todoroki in the back of his mind, sliding the document against the table to pass it over to his new housemate. Bakugou was already holding a pen; all he had to do was sign the paper. That truly was all. However, Bakugou’s hand halted, and his face furrowed just as the nib of the pen was about to touch the empty sign line. Hm?

Todoroki’s body went stone-cold out of the blue. Could it be… Bakugou was starting to have second thoughts about moving in with him? Once that contract was signed, they would be legally bound to it. This was his last chance not to be involved in that rental with Todoroki. He could feel his heartbeat hammering against his ribcage, this time out of a frightened nervousness, but it calmed down somewhat when Bakugou’s hand resumed its initial movement and quickly signed the papers.

In total, that hesitant pause hadn’t lasted for more than a second or two, but its effects on Todoroki weren’t as fast at fading away. The seed of doubt had been planted in him, and it would keep on growing until that brief incident was properly discussed. If there was something about living together with Todoroki that was bothering Bakugou, he wanted to openly talk about it with him and fix it now, so there wouldn’t be any problems in the future. But Todoroki also knew that discussing such things while others were around would just annoy Bakugou, so he decided to wait.

He waited for the end of their meeting with the wholeheartedly thankful real estate agent. He waited for them to bid their farewells to the smiling receptionist. He waited for them to board the elevator a second time. And then…

“Was there any problem with the rental contract?” asked Todoroki the moment the door shut itself and the elevator quietly jolted into a downwards motion. That earned him an arched eyebrow and a silent ‘What?’ stare from Bakugou. “You hesitated a bit when it was time to sign it.”

Since Bakugou was staring straight at him, Todoroki got to see the precise moment his brain connected Todoroki’s question with his own memories. ‘Surprise’ wasn’t the right word to describe it; Bakugou had simply given away that there was some truth to those claims without meaning to.

“You’re overthinking it. There was nothing wrong with the contract,” grumbled Bakugou, promptly breaking eye contact with Todoroki in an obviously sulky manner.

But that wasn’t a good enough answer. He could tell as much from how intense Todoroki’s expressionless stare still was. Being inside a cramped, locked elevator that would still take a little while longer to reach the ground floor wasn’t helping him much either. Had it been anyone else in his place, the pressure alone would have made them fold instantly. But since this was Bakugou, he lasted long enough for the elevator to be right about to reach its destination.

“I’m just not used to it…” mumbled Bakugou, his face furrowing exactly like it had while they were signing the papers. “Writing my name right next to your family name feels kinda…………… Argh, never mind that! There was nothing wrong! Stop overthinking! Shut up and drop dead already!”

Almost as if he had timed it perfectly, Bakugou started stomping forward just as the elevator door was smoothly sliding open. He didn’t wait for Todoroki, and also didn’t order him to get going. Bakugou simply rushed out of the tall building and into the street without looking back a single time.

“Oh. So it was the name…” said Todoroki, his words slipping out of his mouth rather than remaining as just thoughts in his brain. He was probably experiencing the same wave of pure relief and overwhelming comfort that their real estate agent had minutes prior.

The problem wasn’t Todoroki or that they would be living together for a good while - Bakugou simply hadn’t acclimated to using the Todoroki family name instead of his original one yet, which ultimately forced him to hesitate and think about how to sign that contract first, rather than go about it the same way he had throughout his entire life. That made sense. If Todoroki had been in his shoes, the same or worse would have probably also happened to him. They had only been married for four days, and such radical changes took some time until they became the new normal.

“Right. We’re married… and Bakugou took my family name just to please and convince my father… so each time he signs something from now on, he’ll have to use my family name instead of his…” mumbled Todoroki as he slowly, almost absentmindedly stepped outside of the elevator. He wasn’t saying anything that he hadn’t already known, but for some reason, it was hitting him much harder now compared to previous times - perhaps because every single step they had taken today had undoubtedly cemented their new marital status. Still standing right in front of the elevator, Todoroki crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head in a contemplative stance. “Should I even be calling him Bakugou then…?”

“Hey, slowpoke! Our free 30 minutes are nearly ending!” Bakugou came yelling out of the blue, marching straight towards Todoroki like a furious bull chasing after a red piece of cloth. He grabbed the front of his t-shirt and unceremoniously started dragging him outside the building. “I’m not about to be ticketed because of your inconvenient daydreaming moments!”

“I wasn’t daydrea-”

“Less backtalk and more walk!” hissed Bakugou, not allowing a single excuse to be hurled at him.

What else but shut up and sigh could Todoroki have done in response to Bakugou’s latest hissy fit? At the very least, he was free to mull over this new dilemma in the recesses of his mind…

Chapter Text

“I know I’m repeating myself here, but we really should be paying triple or maybe even quadruple what we’re currently paying,” deadpanned Todoroki, taking in his surroundings with both awe and hesitation. In front of him stood the living room and kitchen area of his new apartment, the lack of furniture showcasing how truly big that room alone was. “I’m starting to feel like we’re taking advantage of someone with such a low rent to such a wonderful apartment.”

“The only thing we’re taking advantage of is other people’s stupidity,” scoffed Bakugou with a quick, dismissive shrug of his shoulders. He, too, was calmly observing the room, though for a completely different reason - he was already planning where he would put this and that, and what he would need to purchase anew to bring out the full potential of all this space. “You saw how grateful that guy at the real estate agency was, right? We’re doing him a favour by renting this place that no one wants due to its background. What’s there to feel bad about that?”

“Yeah, you’ve got a point there,” acknowledged Todoroki after quickly thinking about it from that perspective. The real estate agent responsible for that property seemed wholeheartedly glad for them having picked this apartment, even after hearing a full disclosure regarding its previous occupant. Besides, the rental contract was done and signed. It was far too late to make any changes to it for the next 12 months.

Once they were done dealing with the rental contract for their new ‘home’, they went to a different real estate agency to sort out the early cancellation of Todoroki’s previous apartment. Seeing as that contract was also a yearly one, he had no choice but to eat up a fee for each month he was surrendering. Fortunately, Todoroki had enough savings to make such an expense nothing more than an annoying inconvenience that had no real repercussions on his livelihood.

After that task was scratched off from their to-do list, they decided to pass by their new apartment before proceeding with their move-out plans. It was located in an area of their city they didn’t go to much, so navigating the streets and finding a place to park their temporary car was a challenge in its own right. Parking spots next to the sidewalk were a rarity in Japan, due to its strict laws on city planning and zoning. Actually, citizens were only able to purchase a vehicle if they could prove they had a property with the needed space to park said vehicle. Said laws were a testament to how needless car ownership was for everyone’s daily life and how well their public transportation system worked as it moved millions of people every single day. But that was beside the point!

The parking spot they finally found after looking around for a while ended up being a couple of blocks away from the apartment. It was still within walking distance, and they were currently paparazzi-free, so they decided to walk there. It didn’t take long for them to be recognised as the pro hero couple currently making headlines and trending on social media. Todoroki obviously capitalised on all those stares and excited whispers to once again hold Bakugou’s hand without any pushback from his still-sulking spouse. Bakugou threw him a couple of warning glares, his crimson eyes pretty much telling him not to take their pseudo skinship too far just because there were other people around. Much to his disappointment, Todoroki relented and truly only held his preferred hand until they reached the apartment complex.

That was their first experience with the ‘pro hero-grade security measures’ that Bakugou had previously pandered to Todoroki while they were looking for a new marital home. The entrance area of the building was divided into two sections: an initial entrance area that only gave access to the mailboxes for all apartments, and the inner section that gave access to the elevators and stairs. To get inside the first section, you either rang a doorbell and waited for someone to unlock the door remotely, or you inserted the code in the keypad underneath the doorbells. The real estate agent had provided them with the codes at the moment of signing the rental contract, so Bakugou fished that paper from his pocket and pressed the code into the keypad. The front door readily unlocked with a clicking sound. The second door was akin to that of a fortress, made out of glass as thick as a human fist. It was debatable whether ramming a car into it would shatter it or not, but a human would definitely not be able to so much as scratch it without the help of a really strong Quirk or some explosives. To unlock that door, they used one of the keycards they were provided with.

The rest of the trip to the top floor was done by elevator, making it extremely uneventful, and now here they were, getting their first official look at their new home.

“Yeah, this place definitely needs a good cleaning before we start living here,” said Bakugou after sliding his finger on the kitchen island physically signalling the end of the kitchen and the start of the living room. His finger came out coated in a layer of dark grey dust.

“That’s a given, no one has lived here for several years,” pointed out Todoroki, casually following Bakugou into the kitchen area. He already considered this part of the apartment to be solely Bakugou’s territory; that’s why he kept quiet and let him plot and plan to his heart’s content without any sort of interference.

“Well, we’re getting that done before we bring our things over,” instructed Bakugou, nodding to himself after confirming that the empty cupboards (the only furnishing in that spacious room) were all up to his standards. “It’s gonna be tomorrow’s main task. And don’t you dare think I’m the only one who’s busting ass getting it done. 50% of the cleaning will be on you, and you'd better do it well!”

“I have good cleaning standards,” declared Todoroki with an expressionless thumbs-up. When Bakugou gave him a doubtful glance, an eyebrow slightly arched, he added, “If you don’t believe me, feel free to come check my apartment today.”

“Hmph! I’ll think about it,” scoffed Bakugou, promptly turning his back on him to continue his inspection. He crossed the living room area from one end to the other and only stopped once he reached the big floor-to-ceiling glass window, which was dubbing as the wall separating the inside of the apartment and the balcony. Next to it was a sliding door with a locking mechanism on the inside. Opening it allowed the lively noise of a bustling city to leak inside the otherwise silent apartment - the building’s sound insulation also seemed to be up to snuff. Bakugou stepped down outside, his chest puffed out as he scanned his surroundings with his gaze. “Hell yeah, now we’re talking.”

“I thought the bigger kitchen was what sold this apartment for you,” pointed out Todoroki, following his delighted ‘husband’ into the balcony. The scorching summer heat and the brightness of the sun made him start to sweat instantly. Such a bodily reaction was expected, as they were getting close to midday and the sun was about to reach its highest point in the blue, cloud-free sky.

“And you’d be thinking right, if you also add that steal of a price tag to it,” snorted Bakugou, stopping right in the middle of the large balcony. It was big enough to fit at least six or seven cars in it, with a tall wall separating it from the next-door neighbours to foster everyone’s right to privacy. The edges of the balcony were fenced in by a sturdy, modern-looking railing made out of glass and silver-coloured metal, to match the floor-to-ceiling window aesthetic. Bakugou placed both hands on his hips, a satisfied smirk on his lips as he went on. “But having a big balcony is a huge plus in my book. Now I don’t need to go all the way to Best Jeanist’s agency whenever I feel like getting some solo training done. I can just do it right here, so long as I don’t use my Quirk much while I’m at it.”

“Oh. Yeah, that’s not a bad idea,” noted Todoroki, already on board with that handy training strategy. They were smack dab in the middle of summer, which gave them ample months of weather agreeable with outdoor exercising. Maybe it could even mean they’d be able to train together, if their work schedules allowed. That final thought instantly turned him into a huge fan of that balcony.

After exploring the balcony together for a couple more minutes, mainly to discuss how practical it also was in the eventuality of them being called in for an emergency and needing to depart from their apartment in a rush already all prepped up for action, they returned inside and closed the balcony door behind themselves. The final thing that needed to be checked was the rooms, two of which would be turned into their individual bedrooms.

While one of the rooms was clearly the master bedroom, as it also had a door that connected it to the balcony, there were hardly any differences between the two bedrooms. They were more or less of the same size and had similar layouts, each one featuring its own combined toilet and bathroom in a wet room style. They were as bare as the living room area, aside from the air conditioning units mounted on the walls.

“Alright, this is important, so take it seriously,” started Bakugou, a severe, no-nonsense expression on his frowning face. He gestured with his thumb to the doors of the two bedrooms, one at a time. “Who gets what?”

“I don’t really care either way. Feel free to pick whichever one you like the most, and I’ll take the other,” said Todoroki with a small shrug of his shoulders. He wanted to avoid putting his new roommate in a bad mood, and allowing Bakugou to have his way was the best way to do precisely that. Rather than start a fight over a bedroom, Todoroki preferred to take the diplomatic route and continue to let Bakugou have the first say on matters related to their apartment. After all, he had been acting pretty selfishly when it came to their fake romantic relationship. It was only fair that Bakugou could act the same way in matters not directly related to their mission.

However, by the looks of it, Bakugou was interpreting this diplomatic approach as a sign that something suspicious was going on. His gaze tightened as he closely studied Todoroki and his blank demeanour, trying to discern whether he was missing some important detail or was just overthinking it. He then looked at the two bedrooms, located right next to one another. Todoroki could almost see the cogs turning inside Bakugou’s brain.

“...I’ll sleep on it and announce my decision tomorrow,” grumbled Bakugou at long last, feeling far too suspicious to make up his mind on the spot. The sulky creases that had melted away thanks to his child-like enthusiasm over the kitchen and balcony were now back on his face.

Yeah, that’s kinda funny, chuckled Todoroki in the back of his mind, his expressionless demeanour softening a little bit as he watched Bakugou turning around and opening the door to the final room of the apartment. Bakugou was usually pretty good at making split-second decisions, but he seemed to be taking their moving in together very seriously and cautiously. Todoroki couldn’t tell whether he was doing it because technically it was part of their ‘mission’ or if there was something about that entire process that was making him keep his guard up. That was when a certain thought popped into his mind - a thought that he wasted no time in voicing out loud. “Oh, could it be you were expecting to argue with me over the bedrooms to make it fair?”

“H-Huh…!?” blurted out Bakugou, accidentally tripping over his own words out of shock. “Why… Why the heck would I be expecting something like that? If you’re fine with either bedroom, you do you. But unlike a certain dense someone, I like to think before I act or make any long-term decisions!”

“...............”

“Oh, c’mon! Don’t you give me the ‘yeah, right’ silence!” hissed Bakugou, stomping his feet on the wooden floor while he stepped inside the final room. It wasn’t as big as the previous two bedrooms, but it was still spacious enough to be turned into a nice office or whatever else they might need it for.

“If you want to argue about the bedrooms, we can argue about them,” offered Todoroki, wholeheartedly feeling like laughing even though he could feel his face becoming even more expressionless. This was something he had figured out while they were still high school students, but purposely bickering with Bakugou over random stuff felt like quite the guilty pleasure. The main reason for it was that Bakugou could turn even the most innocent of statements into an invitation for a competition. As the sore loser that he was, Bakugou always took that very seriously and gave it his best to win, even if said competition was over something hilariously mundane. Some saw it as a character flaw; Todoroki viewed it as part of being on good terms with Bakugou.

“I already said that’s not it!” Bakugou yet again stomped his foot on the floor, much like a little kid throwing a tantrum. At first, he crossed his arms over his chest while defiantly glaring straight at Todoroki, but he quickly undid that pose so he could point his index finger to the room opposite the one they were in. “Fine, you want me to make a decision right now? I’ll make a decision right fuckin’ now, then! I’ll take that one; you can take the other room. Happy now?”

“Yeah, so long as you’re also happy with that decision,” acknowledged Todoroki, nodding his head along with his words.

“Grrrr…” Instead of being satisfied with that resolution, Bakugou felt even more aggravated about it. He knew Todoroki wasn’t one to play mind games, but those words had been so annoyingly provocative (or so his brain had interpreted them) that he was made to doubt his decision all over again. However, he also couldn’t bring himself to backtrack and reverse his previous statement. All in all, this was ballooning into a royal pain in the ass, which, again, made him even more suspicious of it all. “...You’re doing that on purpose, aren’t you?”

“Just a bit,” truthfully confessed Todoroki. There was no use keeping the charade going now that he had been caught red-handed. In fact, if he pushed it any more than this, he’d be so very dead - Bakugou would make sure of it.

“Asshole…” cussed Bakugou right before he stomped out of the room, his pouting climbing up to a whole new level.

As was to be expected of someone who could throw hissy fits at random, he made sure to slam the door on his way out, shutting Todoroki inside the extra room all on his own. That allowed Todoroki to freely chuckle without running the risk of detonating a ticking time bomb. Not that he’d be staying there for very long. He quickly and easily composed himself and then calmly walked out of the room, once again closing the door to leave the room exactly as they had found it.

The apartment was considerably big, but it was still easy to find Bakugou once again. He was in the living room, lower back leaning on the kitchen island as he browsed through his smartphone with barely contained anger. There was a 50/50 chance that he was currently plotting the perfect murder, but Todoroki had great hopes to make it out of this fake marriage alive. Without uttering a single word, Todoroki walked up to Bakugou, stopped right next to him and then quietly stood there, back also facing the kitchen island.

A peaceful silence installed itself in the spacious division, despite the raging demon standing not even half a meter from him. Yes, this was exactly what it felt like being together with Bakugou, as far as Todoroki was concerned. Even if Bakugou was best described as ‘a genius evil gremlin that didn’t think twice about using someone’s weakness against them if it guaranteed him a perfect victory’, the time Todoroki spent with him was always peaceful and worry-free, but still engaging enough to never allow him to feel an iota of boredom.

They could be in an empty room, each one doing their own thing in complete silence, and Todoroki would still feel right at home.

“Shall we go back to our apartments and continue packing?” suggested Todoroki after he gave his ‘husband’ the required time for him to safely cool down without any unnecessary victims.

“Yeah…” grumbled Bakugou, locking his phone and slipping it back into his pocket. Aside from that, he didn’t make any attempts at moving. He just continued standing where he was, giving Todoroki a suspicious side-eye.

“...?” At first, Todoroki simply stared right back, patiently waiting for Bakugou to say whatever it was that he wanted to slap him with next. But the silence kept stretching longer and longer, with no clear signs of being about to end any time soon. Todoroki ended up being the one to break that status quo and speak first, even if it was just to say a single word. “What?”

“It’s nothing… I was just thinking to myself that you’ve been weirdly well-behaved since we left the first realtor's office…” commented Bakugou, quickly contradicting himself by providing a quick explanation of the ‘nothing’. It was hard to tell whether he had noticed that contradiction or not, but his raging demon expression had long softened into that of a child-like pout. When he saw Todoroki quizzically tilting his head, he felt slightly compelled to defend his claims, one way or another. “You’ve been going crazy with that ‘surprise kiss’ thing for several days now, but then you suddenly stopped. Of course that puts me on the defensive. Who knows what stupid little scheme is crossing that dense brain of yours right now… The only thing I can expect out of it is pure chaos and… Tsk, you know what? Never mind, let’s just get going and move on with our plans for today!”

“Wait,” said Todoroki, promptly straightening his position when he saw Bakugou pull his lower back away from the kitchen island and ready himself to leave. Either as a planned countermove or an unconscious reflex, Todoroki grabbed Bakugou’s lower arm and physically stopped him from departing from that spot. That obviously came alongside a moody glare from those unyielding crimson eyes, but Todoroki was so used to them that it didn’t faze him in the slightest. Even if he wasn’t used to it, he was far too preoccupied with something else to bother with that small detail. “If you want to kiss, you could have just said so.”

“.........Huh?” Bakugou blurted out, his mouth hanging wide open for several seconds as his brain processed such a ridiculous sentence. Once that processing was completed, the flabbergasted shock quickly morphed into a flustered tizzy. “W-When did I say something like that!? I was pointing out a discrepancy in your current behaviour, not giving you a clue on what I want or don’t want!”

“Uh-huh. I’ll keep that in mind, too, from now on,” deadpanned Todoroki, not really buying those flimsy excuses. Bakugou was the type who kept quiet whenever someone conveniently forgot about something he wasn’t on board with, not the type who reported on it like a goody two-shoes. Hence, even if Todoroki wasn’t that good at reading others, Bakugou was being awfully transparent at the moment.

“Argh, whatever!” groaned Bakugou, rolling his eyes around at Todoroki while he turned back around and tried to continue to move ahead. The keyword here was ‘tried to’. Todoroki was still holding his arm, which made it impossible to carry out his escape plan smoothly. This awkward situation got even more complicated when Todoroki tugged his arm in the opposite direction he wanted to go. The last nail in his coffin was when Todoroki slipped his free hand onto the front of his neck, which was followed by him forcibly tilting his chin up and, as a result, his head backwards. “Wah…!”

Arms flailing, Bakugou took a couple of unsteady half-steps in reverse until his back bumped against Todoroki’s chest. His head still remained tilted backwards, which shaved off a couple of centimetres from his usual height and facilitated Todoroki towering over him. Despite the inelegant angle, Todoroki still somewhat managed to drop a quick peck on his lips from above.

“Am I back to normal now?” asked Todoroki, separating their faces just enough to be able to see the entirety of Bakugou’s features.

“T-T-There’s nothing normal about any of this…!!!” hissed Bakugou, mechanically ripping Todoroki’s hand away from his neck and chin. That enabled him to straighten his position and then also slip his arm from Todoroki’s grasp. “Which part of the ‘don’t do this unless there’s a really good reason for it’ does your dense brain refuse to understand!?”

“There might not be a direct reason for it, but thanks to all the practice we’ve been getting when it’s just the two of us, we’ve successfully fooled everyone into thinking we’re really dating, right?” Todoroki pointed out calmly and methodically, also questioning himself on why his fake spouse couldn’t connect their current success with all of these seemingly unnecessary affectionate acts. “Well, almost everyone. My father still isn’t ready to admit his defeat, but I already see some cracks forming. If we keep going like this and improve how much of a lovey-dovey newlywed couple we seem to be while out in public, I can see us having a breakthrough on that front, too. Plus, we’re married. A couple of surprise kisses throughout the day is within reasonable expectation, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s… not…?” Bakugou began denying that claim on reflex, but, just like it had happened during prior conversations, his certain, domineering tone slowly turned into a question filled with doubt. Whenever he went over this topic from a logical point of view, he couldn’t find any faults in Todoroki’s arguments and conclusions. But, again, there was this small voice in the back of his mind telling him that he was missing a fairly important point. It was truly a pity he had banished that small voice into a remote section of his brain on day 1 of their fake marriage. Thanks to that banishment, Bakugou was able to ignore the majority of it, but the itchy impression it left behind was impossible to erase. “...There’s something about that that doesn’t feel right…”

“Yeah, I think so too,” acknowledged Todoroki with a hearty nod of his head, finally having confirmed he and Bakugou were experiencing the exact same phenomenon. “But I think it’s just because we’re not used to it. Once we’ve mastered this technique, that weird feeling will probably go away. Oh, but… If it bothers you that much, I can limit it to just once a day. I don’t know how that will affect our mission, though…”

“No, I’d rather go all out straight from the start than to take it slow and drag this on for a stupid amount of time,” said Bakugou, promptly shooting down the ‘once a day only’ concession. He quieted down and thought about this matter for a couple of seconds more, but then ultimately just sighed tiredly. “Just keep on doing what you’ve been doing this whole time. It’s clearly working, so I can’t complain too much about it. But we’re stopping this right away if it loses its effectiveness, alright? This can’t be the only method to improve our acting skills.”

“Okay,” concurred Todoroki with one more nod. He gently grabbed Bakugou’s hand, purposely picking the one his spouse had a preference for, and started guiding them towards the entrance area of the apartment. “What other methods do you have in mind?”

“I don’t know, I’d have to think about it first,” sighed Bakugou after giving a quick shrug with his shoulders. He followed along without complaint, too focused on their ongoing discussion to notice that he, too, had long started holding Todoroki’s hand back. “Acting classes are out of the question, obviously. And I ain’t about to waste my time watching videos or listening to podcasts of so-called ‘love gurus’.”

“I can’t think of anything else but what we’re already doing from the top of my head,” admitted Todoroki, doing his best to come up with an alternative plan but coming out empty-handed. “Maybe we should ask Midoriya and Uraraka. They’re a real couple, so they might be able to give us some good suggestions.”

“Hell no!” hissed Bakugou right away, throwing a dirty glare at Todoroki as he waited for him to lock the front door. “Fake relationship or not, I’m definitely not going to use that shitty nerd as inspiration! Ugh, just the thought of asking Izuku for advice on something is turning my stomach inside out…”

“That might be because you haven’t eaten anything since breakfast,” chuckled Todoroki, not feeling all that downtrodden by yet another vetoed suggestion. “Let’s go back to our apartments, eat lunch and then continue with the packing.”

“Don’t forget we still need to deal with the horde of journalists and paparazzi that will definitely be waiting for us at our doorstep,” pointed out Bakugou, his eyebrow twitching with annoyance at the thought of such a troublesome reception. “Now that I think about it, that’s also your fault. Why the heck aren’t you more careful whenever you go somewhere? I know you’re a bit slow in the head, but even the dumbest of our morons know how not to dox themselves.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose. It just somehow happened when I was being followed around by this particularly stubborn paparazzi shortly after rumours about me and a staff member of my father’s hero agency started being spread on social media,” explained Todoroki, his voice and face becoming more expressionless as he recalled that tiring story. “That eventually died down, but not before my address was exposed. I thought about moving somewhere else several times, but it was just too much of a hassle. It’s not like I’ve been constantly visited or harassed by journalists and fans alike, so I let it be until now.”

“That’s the most ‘you’ thing you’ve said this whole morning,” snorted Bakugou, a smile lingering on his lips despite the sarcastic tone of his words. “Well, thanks to you being a half-assed, lazy idiot, I got to enjoy my time at home in peace and quiet. So, again, thank you for your sacrifice.”

“I kinda think it’s a pity you didn’t tell me you were my downstairs neighbour sooner, though,” was what Todoroki wanted to say next, but it was pretty hard to speak under these circumstances. He was far too busy committing to memory one more of Bakugou’s extremely rare, wholesome smiles to do anything else.

Some people collected books, others coins, and some went for pricey anime figures. Todoroki’s one and only collection was moments like this one, where he got to see a softer side of Bakugou that very few people had the luxury of witnessing in person.

Chapter Text

“Um… We really are being successful with our mission,” deadpanned Todoroki in an attempt to quell Bakugou’s anger preemptively. The thing is, Todoroki completely disregarded the fact that anything he might or might not say would only stoke whatever negative emotions Bakugou was feeling.

“The day murder becomes legal, you will be the first one to go,” hissed Bakugou between gritted teeth. He promptly whipped his hand up and gestured his trembling (from anger) index finger at the scene unfolding further down the other side of the car’s windshield. “You call that successful!? It’s a fucking mob! I see more cameras and reporters in front of our apartment complex than there usually are in front of the freaking National Diet Building!!!”

“C’mon, there aren’t that… No, you’re right, there are more,” Todoroki started anew, giving his ‘defusing the bomb before it explodes’ strategy a second try. But a single sideways glare from Bakugou made him reverse course instantly and roll over like an obedient puppy. Arguing was definitely not going to work in this situation. Todoroki sighed. “So, what should we do about this? At this rate, we’ll get surrounded the moment we try to go inside our apartments.”

“Oh, I don’t know. You fucked up, YOU FIX IT!” sarcastically scoffed Bakugou, turning his head in the opposite direction where Todoroki was quietly sitting at the driver’s seat.

They were currently inside the vehicle Burnin had lent them, the hazard lights blinking as they remained precariously parked by the sidewalk, keeping a close lookout on the surroundings of their apartment complex so they could properly plan the next phase of their ‘mission’: getting inside their apartments without getting relentlessly interrogated by the reporters, journalists and paparazzi currently stalking them.

Their biggest issue with this ‘phase’, as we can call it, was that there was now this gigantic crowd right in front of the apartment complex. Some people were clearly just big fans who wanted to see the ‘newlywed couple’ in person, but most were pros hunting for their next big scoop, carrying cameras and other types of recording equipment in tow. The sidewalk right before the building was nearly completely clogged with that horde of salivating beasts, to the point that those simply walking by had to cross the road and use the opposite sidewalk.

Initially, Bakugou and Todoroki had agreed to drive by their street to first scout the area before making a definite move. But they were so flabbergasted by that horrifying sight that they had to turn around and then temporarily park the car to study that humongous problem from a safe distance.

“Calling the police on them for being a public nuisance wouldn’t work, would it?” suggested Todoroki with a certain hesitation. The way Bakugou’s shoulders were dismissively shrugged was answer enough. “Right, that would only make them more clever with their stalking tactics. What should we do, then? I already know you don’t want us to use our Quirks, but what else is there left for us to do?”

“Ugh, you’re useless!” groaned Bakugou, his rough voice dripping with annoyance and exasperation. “Turn on the engine! Let’s find a proper parking spot first and then move from there.”

“Okay?” acknowledged Todoroki, immediately doing as told despite having a few questions. However, years of knowing and working with Bakugou had taught him that obeying his instructions more often than not led to glorious success. As such, annoying him with questions was just a waste of time and of his fraying patience.

Since they both knew that neighbourhood of their city extremely well, it was easy for them to find a parking lot that did not belong to a private housing complex. It would maybe take them 10 to 15 minutes to walk from there to their apartments. However, rather than go straight there using the most direct path, Bakugou forced them to pick the longest route home. Todoroki was just as confused then as he had been while driving to the parking lot.

“Hm… Yeah, we’re close enough,” Bakugou mumbled to himself while sneaking a peek into the main street from the side street where they were currently taking shelter. From there, he could see the exterior ‘people wall’ of the crowd surrounding the front door of their apartment complex, even if from a considerable distance. He then withdrew back to the narrow side street while taking his smartphone from his pocket.

“...?” As far as Todoroki was concerned, there was no rhyme or reason to Bakugou’s actions, let alone now that he was calmly fiddling with his cellphone. Still, he knew not to interfere with whatever it was that he was confidently plotting.

Once Bakugou was done typing something into his smartphone, he thrust the arm holding it closer to the main street while also leaning his head in the opposite direction to put some distance between himself and the electronic device. Without any warning, a booming female voice started echoing all around them, startling Todoroki into a more guarded stance.

“What!? Dynamight and Shouto are talking with fans at the park down the street!? I wanna go, I wanna go! Save me a spot there!”

Todoroki looked around in confusion, trying to figure out who exactly was speaking, but there was no one, let alone a woman, close enough to them to hear such a line that loudly. Since he was already on his guard, he was quick to notice the slight shift happening on the main street. The bustling atmosphere momentarily quietened down following that booming line, with several passersby doing exactly as Todoroki was and inspecting their surroundings to figure out who was speaking so loudly. Seconds after that short-lived respite started, chaos erupted.

“Hehehe… Ain’t technology amazing?” gleefully giggled Bakugou, an evil smirk on his lips as he calmly observed that gigantic mob of people and all of their bulky recording equipment running down the main street towards a nearby park. Their heavy footsteps sounded more like a herd of panicked elephants than an overexcited crowd, and Bakugou enjoyed every little second of it from the safety of the strait side street. Once the metaphorical cloud of dust had settled, Bakugou stepped into the main street like normal and began walking towards their apartment complex.

“..................” Todoroki stood in place in silent awe, his heterochromatic eyes following Bakugou’s back until he disappeared from his sight. He might have just witnessed one of the many ways Bakugou used misdirection to steer clear of journalists and paparazzi. Todoroki followed after him just a moment later and, sure enough, as soon as he also stepped into the main street, he could tell right away it was much emptier and calmer. The mob that had set camp right in front of their apartment complex was gone, leaving in their wake the whispers of those who had witnessed their abrupt departure. Todoroki quickly caught up with Bakugou and asked, “Is this how you…?”

“Yup. Start taking notes, I won’t always be around to save the day,” said Bakugou with a dismissive shrug of his shoulders. He had no idea how long it would take the reporters to notice they had been bamboozled, so he made sure to walk as fast as possible without raising any suspicion.

“No wonder you’ve been hinting that my living in the same building as you has helped you these past two years,” deadpanned Todoroki, starting to connect several dots. “You’ve been using me as a distraction to sneak inside the apartment complex without being spotted, haven’t you?”

“Heh, who knows?” snickered Bakugou, his evil smirk once again back on his lips. “A magician can’t reveal how he plays his magic tricks or else they won’t work as well as they currently do, right?”

“You’re so…” sighed Todoroki, feeling quite conflicted about how he should interpret that half-confession. He really wanted to ask him how he came up with such a strategy, but he could already tell Bakugou would not be sharing that sort of convenient information with him. Maybe I should also read some books about magic tricks and misdirection…

With their fast walking speed, they reached their apartment complex in less than a minute. They unlocked the front door with the code they knew by heart after using it every day for such a long time. Just to make sure, Todoroki double-checked the front door and its locking mechanism once they were inside. It wouldn’t be fun if one of the more immoral paparazzi tried to break into the building. But from what he could tell, the front door was well secured, even if in a much simpler way compared to their new apartment complex, and there were no signs of any lockpicking attempts either.

“Tomorrow, we’re cleaning our new place. Meanwhile, make sure you continue packing your stuff. Given the circumstances, we should do the move in a single go, to avoid needing to come back and forth between our apartment buildings,” instructed Bakugou throughout the short elevator trip. When the elevator made its first stop and the door slid open, he stepped into his floor and then turned around to look at Todoroki. “Whatever you do, no matter how much they annoy and pester you, you better not directly tell those stalkers I also live here! Let them create wild theories and whatnot until they figure it out all on their own! Also, if you do end up talking with them, don’t. Make. This. Even. WORSE! Got it? Great! Bye then!”

After those barking parting words, Bakugou turned back around once again and started stomping towards his apartment, missing completely the disappointed ‘Okay…’ Todoroki mumbled as the elevator sealed itself once again.

The moment Bakugou unlocked his front door and entered his apartment, he let out a long, tired sigh. Somehow, one way or another, he managed to make it out of that insane press conference and everything that followed alive. For someone like him, these past few hours had been far more challenging than all of the risky missions he had participated in since he went pro combined. His stress levels were through the roof, but fortunately, he was good at managing that sort of pressure without cracking.

“Ugh, I can’t wait for this portion of our ‘mission’ to be done and dealt with…” Bakugou mumbled under his breath as he dived deeper into his apartment. Since he had the habit of waking up early on ‘working days’, he had already begun packing his stuff. One of the corners of his living room was filled with several boxes already storing some of his belongings. That made his surroundings seem crammed and disorganised, but he would have to tolerate it for the time being.

He wanted to vent some of the accumulated stress by being productive with his time, but a lunch break had to be prioritised before his venting session could start. It wasn’t that Bakugou was in a cranky mood because he was hungry, much like Todoroki had pointed out earlier, but he recognised that packing with an empty stomach would make him much slower and less focused, which would completely defeat the purpose.

I should try to use up as much frozen stuff as I can. There’s no way they’ll survive being moved from one apartment to the other in this stupid hot weather, and I ain’t about to risk food poisoning myself, noted Bakugou in the back of his mind as he moved around the kitchen with practised movements. After three years of living there, he could cook a quick meal for one in that kitchen with his eyes closed. He had developed the habit of freezing a portion of his leftovers rather than eating the same stuff for several days in a row - one of the downsides of the impossible-to-tackle challenge of cooking for just one - so he had an array of pre-cooked dishes he could combine with freshly cooked ones.

In a matter of 15 minutes, Bakugou was ready to finally sit down and not worry about anything. Relaxing and forgetting that morning’s chaos was the only thing occupying his mind. He even decided to turn on the TV and find something to distract him while he indulged in his Michelin-grade home-cooked lunch.

However, Bakugou’s peaceful meal time was shattered real fast when he changed the channel in search of the ideal meal companion.

He was used to seeing himself on the TV screen, as being in the news was just a part of being a pro hero. What he wasn’t as used to was seeing himself being kissed and pushed down a chair in full HD. Bakugou promptly changed the TV channel once again… only to be greeted by that exact same scene, but from a different camera angle. He changed the channel a third time and, you guessed it, kiss scene galore all over again.

“Are you fucking kidding me!?” growled Bakugou, slamming the remote control against the dining table. It was a miracle he managed to keep his anger under control and didn’t catapult the remote control against the TV screen with an explosive throw. “Do these guys seriously have nothing better to do with their time!? If they are that free, why not do something that contributes to the world and human society, instead of wasting it on stupid romance BS!? Argh, this is exactly why I hate the mass media!!!”

Fed up with that nonsense, Bakugou changed the channel once again, this time picking one that had absolutely nothing to do with news. He’d rather watch paint dry than see that catastrophic kiss scene between himself and Todoroki one more time. Fortunately, he managed to find something far more interesting and engaging than that in the form of a history documentary covering certain events that occurred before the emergence of Quirk. It wasn’t exactly something he would normally go out of his way to consume, but anything was better than that other torture.

The steady, baritone voice of the narrator distracted him enough that he could calm down and actually savour his meal. It wasn’t every day he could sit down to eat his lunch while technically on a work day (yes, he was officially on vacation, but Bakugou saw their unofficial mission as the same as a regular one), he should enjoy it while it lasted.

Besides, now that he was thinking about it with a tranquil mind, the fact that the news channels were covering their press conference so extensively was a good thing. Social media aside, it was important that their relationship was brought to light through official mediums. Even if the members of the villain group who worshipped him as a god didn’t use social media, they definitely needed to check either TV, radio or online news to keep a tab on him. Newspapers and magazines were also a good source of information on him and his movements, but they came with a delay, making them not as useful whenever speed and timing were crucial.

For as aggravating as it might be for him, Bakugou did have to admit that the kiss was the biggest highlight of the press conference, maybe only second to the announcement that they had gotten married the previous week. And if those two things had left the entire country in an uproar, then it certainly was also having a significant impact on the villain group. It was just a matter of time until they made their next move and tried to get in contact with Bakugou in some form.

Well, I know we’ll be safe and sound while we’re in here, with these many cameras and witnesses at our doorstep, pointed out Bakugou in the back of his mind, leading his chopsticks into his mouth and then chewing on his flavourful food. Tomorrow we’ll be on cleaning duty, so we won’t be too exposed to the outside world either. That will give them at least 48 hours to plan something. Wednesday will be when things might start getting serious… They might pull some crappy stunt at any moment, so I’d really like to get the moving done before the end of that day. It would also mean we could dedicate the rest of our vacation to capturing and arresting as many members as we can, while also gathering information to take them down for good.

Of course, that was all easier said than done. No amount of planning on Bakugou’s behalf could fully account for the villain group’s upcoming moves. They could do something while they were on vacation, just like they could wait for him to go back to work the following week. It was all a huge guessing game, and Bakugou was at a disadvantage due to how little he knew about the villain group and its members.

It would be easier if he knew of a way to gain some control over when and where they appeared, just like he had done earlier with the herd of journalists and paparazzi, but that was outside of the scope of his manipulation skills. Neither misdirection nor bait worked on them - he had tried doing as much a couple of times already, and the results were always painfully disappointing.

“I wish those lunatics were as dumb as their delusions make them sound, but no, they’re too smart for their own good…” grumbled Bakugou, a frown starting to show on his face once again. He was going to put one more mouthful of food into his mouth when his hand froze midway there.

The members of the villain group were smart. All of them. They sounded crazy, but they acted with purpose. They didn’t fall for undercover agents or allow themselves to be followed. They also didn’t fall for any of the traps Bakugou had set up so far.

In that case, would they truly believe he had married Todoroki after secretly dating him this whole time? When they couldn’t even make Endeavor trust that their marriage certificate was real?

“Crap… What if they don’t fall for it…?” mumbled Bakugou, the hand holding the chopsticks falling back to the dining table. Their mission revolved around their fake marriage looking like a genuine relationship to everyone else, save for their friends and immediate family. But if they managed to fool everyone except for the people they needed to fool the most, then all of it would have been for nothing…

Once that seed of doubt burrowed into his mind, Bakugou was unable to stop thinking about it. Neither of them had any proper acting experience, so it would be impossible for them to pull off a flawless performance. He had been aware of that since the very moment he accepted Todoroki’s offer. But he figured that maybe they’d be able to keep it going without being caught since they only needed to pretend whenever they were outside in public together. Which, with their usual pro hero schedule, would be nothing more than a handful of hours per week. With so few hours of exposure, it would be fairly easy to create this elaborate lie and convince other people they were truly in a romantic relationship.

Despite that, Endeavor still hadn’t fallen for it, even after kiss after kiss right before his eyes. And Endeavour could be just as dense as his son at times. Everyone else, aside from him, had just accepted it, congratulated them and moved on with their day. So if they couldn’t fool that dense, stubborn old man, fooling a group filled with smart delusional villains would be ten times harder than convincing Endeavour will turn out to be.

That meant they had no choice but to be ten times more convincing with their fake relationship while out in public…

“But how are we even supposed to do that…?” sighed Bakugou, his hand clenching his chopsticks more tightly.

It wasn’t as if he was interested in dating anyone for real when he was already so busy being a pro hero. Romance just wasn’t in the cards for him, and, as such, he completely ignored such a subject in his day-to-day life. Faking it with Todoroki was acceptable under the current terms, but all he could think of to use in their mission were the most basic of things related to being in a relationship, like holding hands, kissing, and so on.

What else did people who were actually in love do with their partners? Was there anything else about a couple that signalled they were a couple to other people? Those were all questions that Bakugou and his lack of romantic experience were unable to answer.

“I’m never going to stoop so low I’d ask the Shitty Nerd for his help, but…” grumbled Bakugou to his own buttons, a pinkish pouty expression blossoming on his face at the same time as his gaze dropped to the remote control. “If I can use technology to deploy misdirection against those professional stalkers, then I should also be able to use it to fake this fake relationship better… There’s hardly any difference between voice generator apps and crappy romance TV shows and movies… So using either is the same thing…”

Bakugou kept on intently staring at the remote control, his body as still as a stone sculpture, but his heart speeding as fast as the pneumatic hammer that had mined that stone. It was just research, he was telling himself. In the same way he was learning from the history documentary he was watching during lunch, he could also learn a few things by studying actors and how they acted to portray couples and the like, Bakugou rationalised.

“I’ll at least give it a shot, I guess…” concluded Bakugou after what felt like a lifetime of staring at the remote control. He finally picked it up and changed channel after channel, until he finally reached one that mainly aired TV shows nearly the whole day. Whatever was on at the moment would do; Bakugou was only going to watch it to study the actors, after all.

Just as he was relaxing once again and calming down his fastened heartbeat, his doorbell suddenly rang and nearly scared the bejesus out of him. His whole body jumped in his seat, and the remote control nearly slipped out of his hand. The heat of shame instantly assaulted his face, which burned into a scarlet blush at the same time he hurriedly turned off the TV with flustered movements.

Soon after, he heard a familiar knocking sound. It was clearly Todoroki who had come for yet another unannounced visit.

“Fucking Half-and-Half Bastard and his stupid bad timing…” grumbled Bakugou, getting up from the dining table in a single motion. He slammed the chopsticks on the table and then started stomping towards the front door. Bakugou ended up venting just 0.001% of his frustration with the way he yanked the door open and screamed, “WHAT NOW!?”

“They know we’re in here. They won’t stop ringing my doorbell,” said Todoroki with his usual calm, expressionless demeanour. In his hands, he was carrying two plates with his steaming lunch. “Can I finish eating my lunch here? Hearing the doorbell constantly is starting to get annoying…”

“Welcome to my life!” Bakugou snapped back before viciously slamming the door shut on Todoroki’s face.

Chapter Text

“Seriously, why is everyone around me such a pain in the ass, from the people I work with to the random extras in the street…” grumbled Bakugou, begrudgingly stabbing his chopsticks on his food again and again. “Someone needs to create a ‘patience’ category in the Hero Billboard Chart ratings… I’d be number one every single damn day… And then I’d at least receive awards and prizes for it, instead of having to do it FOR FREE… Heck, I might even become the very first saint of the Quirk era… I don’t care if it comes posthumously so long as the title is mine and mine only… What I do care about is why the fuck are you interrupting my detailed schedule just because you can’t deal with the consequences of your actions! It’s your fault that all of those professional stalkers and fans are banging at the building’s front door and raping your doorbell! If it bothers you that much, just deal with them already, not hide in my apartment! Your fault, your problem!”

“How many times will I have to apologise until you drop this blame narrative of yours?” deadpanned Todoroki after he calmly finished chewing and swallowing the food he had in his mouth.

“I am never letting you live this one down, especially while it’s still causing us trouble!” hissed Bakugou, banging his free hand on the dining table. His raging red eyes were finally lifted from his half-eaten lunch, and their gaze was redirected forward, to the expressionless pro hero sitting opposite him. “Rather than talk back to me, why don’t you do it to those annoyances outside, huh? Go ahead, call the police on them and have them arrested for disorderly conduct and harassment! It’s your hero name that will be known for being against freedom of the press, so it’s no skin off my back! You can even ask one of your sidekicks or whatever to pass by here and shoo them away! I don’t care what you do, just do it somewhere else!”

“Maybe we should have gone to a hotel or something instead of coming here,” sighed Todoroki, as cool as a cucumber as he ignored 90% of what Bakugou had just yelled at him. “They would get rid of them much more easily by accusing them of inconveniencing their business.”

“Like hell we should have,” scoffed Bakugou right away before finally putting some food in his mouth and angrily munching on it. “We need to prepare for the move, and we also need them around during the move. We already created a plan and we’re gonna follow it, no matter how big a bother it might be!”

“Yeah, but you said it yourself that the effect the press conference had was way bigger and messier than what we had accounted for,” pointed out Todoroki after another small sigh. “We might need to add some flexibility to the plans we’ve made. At least for the first few days, when our marriage announcement is still breaking news.”

“No, we’re following my plan like I created it, and that’s final,” ordered Bakugou with the seriousness and fury of someone willing to die on the hill they had stubbornly built by hand.

There’s no use arguing with him when he’s running on anger and pettiness, sighed Todoroki in the back of his mind. The only thing he could do right now was to give up on this discussion and maybe bring it up once again at a later time when Bakugou wasn’t in the mood to verbally destroy anyone who so much as breathed in his direction. He also didn’t want to get kicked out of his apartment after he somehow managed to convince Bakugou to let him in and eat lunch together. In other words, Todoroki needed to be in his best behaviour for the time being. Why don’t I give him something to distract us both while I wait for him to cool down on his own?

While Todoroki might have been quite limited on what sort of things he could say or do, he had a good source of distraction within his reach. So he nonchalantly grabbed the remote control on top of the dining table and pressed the on button.

“Wai-!” Fully aware that the TV would be turned on on the same channel it had been turned off, Bakugou tried to stop Todoroki from doing precisely that. However, he was a second too late.

The black screen of the TV exploded into a myriad of colours, portraying a high-resolution image of the show currently being aired. Since Bakugou had changed the channel to one that mainly focused on TV shows meant for the entertainment of the masses, that was exactly what they got. The lunchtime period was one of the premium time slots with the biggest number of watchers, so what was currently airing was one of the newest TV dramas from a popular producer. Their motto was ‘we’ll melt the most frivolous of hearts,’ and the first scene they coincidentally got did that motto justice. What was probably one of the couples featured in the TV show was gushing over each other in a sickly sweet, obnoxiously lovey-dovey manner. In the back of his mind, Bakugou really hoped that was an exaggeration and real couples did not behave in such an annoying way, or he’d willingly join the evil side without complaint.

“Just for the record, I was not watching that crap, alright!?” hissed Bakugou in his own defence, even though Todoroki hadn’t so much as glanced his way.

“I didn’t say you-”

“I was studying it, just that!” continued Bakugou, accidentally cutting Todoroki off before he could finish his sentence. “Actually, I wasn’t even studying ‘it’, I was studying the actors! I couldn’t care less about the sappy story or the lame characters, I just want to learn from their acting skills!”

“Okay?” said Todoroki, a bit confused as to why Bakugou was bringing up such an unusual topic completely unprompted. Also, why was he even studying the actors’ acting skills? It wasn’t as if he was aiming to become one himself or anything. Todoroki tilted his head quizzically and asked, “Why, though?”

“What do you mean, why!? It’s obviously because of our mission, you idiot!” scoffed Bakugou, rolling his eyes at Todoroki and his oblivious brain. “If we’re gonna put on a performance, we might as well do it really well and in a believable way. Endeavor might be stubborn as hell and just as dense as you, but those lunatics unfortunately have working brains. They won’t fall for it if we half-ass our fake relationship, no matter how many normies we might deceive in the process!”

“Hmm… I guess you have a point,” admitted Todoroki after thinking about it for a few seconds. He straightened his head and closely observed the lovey-dovey scene unfolding on the TV screen. Todoroki then looked back at Bakugou while pointing at the TV. “So you want to act like this while we’re in public?”

“Not even over my dead body!” yelped Bakugou, feeling queasy at the thought of acting like a silly, annoying couple out in public with someone, let alone with Todoroki. “If you want to make a fool of yourself in front of other people, go right ahead. But don’t you dare drag me into it!”

“Then what exactly do you mean by ‘studying the actors’ for the sake of our mission?” asked Todoroki, once again confused by Bakugou’s contradictory words. He wanted to study actors to improve their performance in their unofficial mission, but he didn’t want to copy what they were acting out in the TV shows he was consuming for that purpose? Yeah, Todoroki truly did not comprehend what exactly Bakugou was trying to accomplish with this.

“Well… You know… It’s that thing we were talking about before, and the like,” grumbled Bakugou, his words going around in a circle without ever giving a definite response. However, the time he wasted with that allowed him to come up with something less… weird. “It’s just the acting skills we want, right? Why would we copy stuff that doesn’t even match our personalities and usual behaviour? That would be the same as admitting we’re just pretending.”

“Oh, that’s true,” acknowledged Todoroki with a brief nod of his head. Bakugou certainly had a point there - if they were to copy one-for-one what that fictional couple was doing, everyone would probably think they either were hit by some sort of Quirk or had gone insane. In the worst-case scenario, their fake marriage would be exposed, and they would start a whole new controversy, this time a damaging one. “Then how should we go about it? Do we need to look for a couple that more or less matches us and then copy them?”

“Nah, that would take way too much time,” rejected Bakugou right away, suddenly remembering he was still in the process of eating his lunch and stuffing a bit more of food in his mouth while he tried to come up with a good strategy. Smart as he was, it didn’t take him too long to reach a conclusion about that train of thought. “I guess it’s a matter of adapting. See? There’s that flexibility you wanted. Instead of changing the plan, we can just change ourselves as we follow through with it.”

“That doesn’t actually answer my question,” Todoroki pointed out, an eyebrow slightly arched. He was starting to get the feeling that Bakugou wasn’t giving him a straight answer on purpose, either because he didn’t like it or because he didn’t want to admit he had no clue about what they should do.

“Hmph, you’re just too dumb to get it,” scoffed Bakugou with a dismissive shrug. “If you do as told, everything will go according to plan.”

“Okay, then what should I do?” deadpanned Todoroki, curious to see if Bakugou would bite into that trap question or if he would deflect.

“How about you start annoying me less?” grumbled Bakugou, his gaze tightening back into a glare as he picked some more food with his chopsticks and shoved it into his mouth.

Deflection. Of course, sighed Todoroki to his own buttons. That could only mean that the second scenario - that Bakugou had no clue about what to do or even how to implement his ‘acting skills improvement plan’ - was the correct one. Maybe it was time he took matters into his own hands, leading them into a sensible direction rather than letting Bakugou aimlessly fumble around trying to see what stuck the best. “So, in other words, you think we should keep our plan as is, but improve our married couple image, just in case the villain group isn’t buying our acting.”

“Nn…” Bakugou grumbled yet again, too busy chewing to give a proper response.

“So, more hand-holding, even though you hate it when other people invade your personal space?” double-checked Todoroki, for the sake of his own physical integrity and safety. Bakugou was the type of rambunctious person who would literally hit someone if they got even a single strand of their hair within the borders of what he classified as ‘personal space’. Funnily enough, Bakugou had no problems with desecrating his own personal space whenever it came to physically torturing those who crossed it.

“Ugh, do I really need to spell everything out with you?” groaned Bakugou while rolling his eyes at Todoroki’s unnecessary question. He didn’t even need to actually ask that question; he already knew that yes, he really did need to spell everything out whenever Todoroki was concerned. “Yeah, yeah, more hand-holding or whatever. Just make sure it doesn’t get in the way when we’re moving. I have no problem with publicly wiping the floor with your pretty little face if you make me trip and fall in front of other people again.”

“Got it,” acknowledged Todoroki with a small nod, once again ignoring completely the blatant threat. “Does that also mean I can kiss you in public, so long as I don’t make you fall off a chair again?”

“Grrrrr…” Bakugou wholeheartedly did not want to dignify such a stupid question with an answer, but, again, this was Todoroki he was dealing with. If he gave him any unsupervised leeway, he’d take the opportunity to lead them into uncharted territories. Those ‘uncharted territories’ usually revolved around public humiliation for him, and that was far worse than going along with this silly questionnaire. “So long as you don’t make me fall off anything, AND don’t make a habit out of it. You already know that overusing it will make it less effective, so save it for key moments.”

“Okay. What else can we do…?” said Todoroki, wondering about what other ‘tricks’ they could use to officialise their ‘newlywed’ status. For some additional help and inspiration, he glanced at the TV and the airing romantic comedy show. “What about hugs?”

“So long as it doesn’t get in the way whenever I’m doing something,” sighed Bakugou, inwardly counting all the different ways he could strangle his ‘husband’ with a so-called ‘hug’.

“And what about touching?” asked Todoroki, piggybacking on the hug question to expand to other types of physical contact that could not be classified as a hug or hand-holding.

“It depends,” said Bakugou with a dismissive shrug. “Touch me the wrong way, and your hand is gonna get broken. Touch me in the wrong spot, and you might end up without that limb altogether.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” deadpanned Todoroki, taking a mental note about this set of threats. Maybe he should consider himself lucky that he still had all of his limbs intact after their little makeout session on the sofa at Endeavor’s hero agency… Then again, it could also mean he hadn’t touched Bakugou in the wrong way or spot. Given how contradictory Bakugou was, both could even be true at the same time. “Is there anything else you want to add to it?”

“Nope,” Bakugou quipped, nice and quick. “If you’re done with the questions and suggestions, just keep eating your lunch and then leave.”

“Since I’m already here, why don’t I help you pack your things?” suggested Todoroki as a sincere offer to be useful to Bakugou, despite having just been bluntly told to finish what he was doing and then get the hell out of there. But this was Todoroki. He either missed or disregarded it entirely in favour of his wants. He wasn’t doing it intentionally; this was simply how he was as a human being.

None of that made it any less annoying for Bakugou, though.

Feeling like he was about to burst a vein from how fast blood was rushing to his head, Bakugou got up from the dining table with the clattering sound of the chair scratching against the floor. He slapped his chopsticks on the table and started stomping towards the balcony.

“What are you doing?” asked Todoroki, a terrifying bad feeling already creeping into every single cell on his body. The closer Bakugou got to the balcony door, the worse that bad feeling got…

“Since it bothers you so much, I’m about to get rid of every single motherfucker downstairs,” Bakugou declared without a single drop of hesitation, his voice collected but also icy cold and as deadly as a freshly sharpened knife.

“Wait, that’s a really bad idea,” said Todoroki in an expressionless panic, already running towards Bakugou to stop him before he did something he’d regret later, once his bad mood had passed. He was already unlocking and opening the sliding door, but fortunately, Todoroki made it there on time to prevent him from stepping outside. “Alright, I get it, you don’t need my help packing. So why don’t you stop and think about this for just a little while longer? Because once they see you in this balcony rather than the one above, they’ll add your apartment to the list of doorbells to be rung non-stop.”

“You already constantly ring my doorbell, what difference does that make!?” hissed Bakugou, fighting hard against the arms wrapped around his waist as he kept trying to walk towards the half-open balcony door.

“Fine, I’ll just knock from now on,” sighed Todoroki, gladly offering the best compromise he could make at the moment.

“That’s not the problem here!!!” roared Bakugou, momentarily forgetting about his goal of reaching his balcony and replacing all of his thoughts with the urge to maim and kill the dense trainwreck that he was legally married to. That provided Todoroki with a small opening, and he was able to pull Bakugou further away from the half-open door, his feet sliding and skidding against the floor. “Your constant visits are the problem!”

“Why? They have been a necessity as we plan out the mission. It’s easier to talk in person than through text messages and phone calls, right?” Todoroki pointed out, his head quizzically cocked to the side even as he dragged muscle-clad Bakugou further and further away from that dangerous balcony. Once they were at a distance he deemed to be safer, Todoroki slackened his hold on Bakugou’s waist, but didn’t fully let go, fearing he’d break into a mad dash towards the balcony once again. “Besides, I like spending time with you. It’s fun, and we do need to get used to it again, since we’re about to live together full-time. Neither of us has had housemates for a good while. Starting now will make the process easier.”

“......Don’t think reasoning with me or sweet-talking me will make me change my mind…” said Bakugou with a pouty voice, the idea of scaring away the noisy crowd gathered in front of their apartment complex already fully out of his mind.

“You don’t need to change your mind. I just want you to think it through before you do anything,” Todoroki stated, inwardly heaving a sigh of relief at Bakugou’s toned-down 180. All he got in response was a moody ‘hmph’ and surly crossed arms. That made Todoroki sigh once again, this time with a tiny chuckle mixed in. He still argues and pouts like a kid. I guess some things will never change, no matter how old he gets.

It was challenging to keep track and deal with Bakugou’s tempestuous moods, snarky comebacks and petty antics, not to mention his inclination for picking violence as the solution and twisting everyone around his little finger depending on his present whim. But that was just how Bakugou was. There was nothing that Todoroki could do to change him, and neither did he want to. Bakugou forgave him on a daily basis whenever he was a bit too dense for his liking, Todoroki could do the same whenever Bakugou was, well, Bakugou.

“Hey,” called Bakugou, a pouty frown on his face as he remained completely immobile. When he noticed that he had gotten Todoroki’s attention back, he added, “How long are you gonna continue holding me for? Let go already!”

“............” Todoroki thought about it for a while, much to Bakugou’s annoyance, and then changed the position of his arms, wrapping his hand around his wrist to make sure his hold wouldn’t be broken so easily. “No. This is a good training moment.”

“What ‘good training moment’!?” hissed Bakugou right away, placing down his crossed arms with a curt and indignant motion. It was a tight squeeze, but he managed to rotate his body only until he was nearly fully face-to-face with Todoroki. He was merciless as he pinched Todoroki’s cheeks and yanked them in opposite directions. “Are you trying to find out the hard way how much you can get away with? Well, let me tell you, no matter how patient and saintly I might be, I won’t tolerate any of that fuckin’ insolence! The only thing you’ll get out of it is abnormally saggy cheeks, at best, an early grave, at worst!”

“W’y do yuu a’waysh go foh mah shiiks…?” deadpanned Todoroki, the movement of his distorted speech augmenting the painful sensation of having his cheeks pinched and stretched. He… Well, he hadn’t exactly lost count of how many times Bakugou had done this to him since they made that deal, but it had happened enough times that it got him slightly curious as to why this was Bakugou’s preferred low-impact retaliatory attack.

“Heh, isn’t it obvious?” snorted Bakugou, an evil smirk creeping into his lips. “I’m the only person in this world who would dare to attack your face. It’s as good as saying, ‘I can go after my own husband’s best attribute, don’t even try me, bitch.’ Besides, you look awfully pathetic like this. What’s there not to like about it?”

Bakugou looked pretty content and smug about his childish but effective punishment, even giving a couple of teasing tugs at Todoroki’s cheeks, already getting all reddish from the pinching. Usually, that same evil smirk made him come off as a total menace of a gremlin, but when it was accompanied by such immature actions… Let’s just say he didn’t look nearly as scary and mean.

“Anyway, enough playing around. Hurry up and let go,” said Bakugou, releasing both of Todoroki’s cheeks at the same time. He wanted to lower his arms, but he was forced to put them in this half-raised position, reminiscent of when someone was imitating a chicken flapping its wings, because of Todoroki’s arms and how he was holding his waist. Despite his urging, Todoroki didn’t move a single inch. Bakugou was about to yell at him some more when Todoroki suddenly let out a long sigh and lowered his head until his forehead was pressed against Bakugou’s shoulder.

“...Now I really feel like finding out how much I can get away with…” Todoroki mumbled under his breath, more to himself than to Bakugou, but still loud enough to be heard by both.

“‘Sounds like someone still needs some more pinching and stret-” Irked by a comment he could only interpret as an impudent challenge, Bakugou readied himself to grab Todoroki’s cheeks a second time and squeeze them until they bruised. But soon after he lifted his forehead from his shoulder, Todoroki immediately leaned forward once again - only that rather than landing on his shoulder, he landed on his lips for some brief seconds. It was now Bakugou’s turn to have his cheeks flushed red, even though no pinching and tugging was involved. “You…!?”

“You were the one who suggested it. Don’t complain now,” pointed out Todoroki before Bakugou had the chance to argue back. He knew he’d still try to, though, so he preemptively sealed his mouth once again with a longer kiss.

Yeah, I’m so gonna kill this guy once this is over…! Bakugou snarled in the back of his mind, sadly unable to do it with his actual vocal cords. He grabbed onto Todoroki’s arms as his tongue invited itself into his mouth with the confidence only a dense idiot could muster. Had they not agreed on this beforehand, he would have either bitten his tongue clean off or snapped every single bone in his lower arms into tiny, little pieces. Or maybe he’d…

Bakugou soon got too breathless to continue with his rage-fueled inner rant, even though there shouldn’t have been any connection between his thoughts and his breathing rhythm. He merely lost track of the things he was thinking, far too consumed by that seemingly never-ending kiss. When it did end, though, Bakugou greedily took a big gasp, the air tasting cold against his heated face.

“Forget divorce… I’m gonna kill you and claim all of your possessions as mine…” Bakugou rasped in a hurry, trying to get his words out before Todoroki closed the short distance between their lips once again. “Then I’ll burn every single item right in front of your grave…”

“That sounds like a nice plan,” chuckled Todoroki, unable to take such an amusing threat all that seriously. If that was the worst thing his ‘husband’ could come up with, then it wouldn’t be that bad to go through with that rather than the planned divorce. But, as was to be expected, his bland response only aggravated Bakugou even further.

Todoroki already knew that bickering back and forth and kissing were acceptable within Bakugou’s terms. They had done both plenty of times already. Because of that, repeating them wasn’t a good way to test limits and boundaries. An escalation of that was in need, but they had already also done all of the hand-holding, kissing and hugging that had been agreed upon. That only truly left touching as the final step, even if it came with those veiled threats.

I don’t know what Bakugou considers to be the ‘wrong way’ or ‘wrong spot’, so I’ll start with the areas I’ve already cleared as safe, Todoroki methodically concluded in the back of his mind, releasing his wrist so he could have both hands available. Then, he went for it, no uncertainty or hesitation affecting his actions.

“H-Hey, watch your hands…!” yelped Bakugou, his entire body stiffening when two warm hands sneaked inside his t-shirt and touched his lower back.

“I can’t see them from this position,” pointed out Todoroki in all honesty. Whichever direction he looked, Bakugou was pretty much all he could see. Since his hands were behind Bakugou’s back, it was quite obvious he’d be unable to see them until either of them moved, and that was definitely not happening any time soon.

“Do you really have to be like this every single time!?” Bakugou hissed, his teeth gnawing and grinding against one another. Never mind watching TV shows, he should force Todoroki to read some more books to see if he could finally teach his dense brain the concept of figures of speech and how to read between the lines! “You know what? Just shut up! Stop talking! Not even a single word more out of your damned mouth!”

To see his words honoured, Bakugou tugged at Todoroki’s arms and pulled him closer while, at the same time, he craned his head forward. He couldn’t speak while kissing, but the same also went for Todoroki. Not hearing him butcher human communication with his inability to process it correctly would go a long way in helping him get out of this sticky situation, even if some sacrifices and concessions needed to be made.

But, in the end, all he got was a repeat of what had happened earlier that morning, when they were both at the support waiting area of the conference room. The ongoing kiss only motivated Todoroki to keep his hands exactly where they were, pressed flush against Bakugou’s smooth back. His ‘bad habit’ of getting a bit too excited mid-kiss even made a third appearance.

Even though they were already so close, Todoroki kept leaning his upper body forward, pushing Bakugou backwards as a consequence. Seeing as they were standing, it created this slow, clumsy, aimless walk whenever Bakugou was forced to compensate for the awkwardly positioned force clashing against him. That eventually led them to bump against the edge of the dining table they had abandoned. It also spelt the end of how far they could move while kissing.

“Ngh! Stop groping around my back…!” protested Bakugou, forced to pull his head back and rip his lips apart from Todoroki’s when his hands slid upwards towards the middle of his back.

“I thought this was a safe area?” pointed out Todoroki, alluding to having no problems or receiving any complaints when he had previously touched him there.

“I-It tickles, alright…!?” hissed Bakugou, his frowning expression gaining a sulky glint.

“Don’t people usually laugh when they’re tickled, though?” said Todoroki while exemplifying precisely what he meant. When his right hand moved higher until he was touching the hard bone of Bakugou’s shoulder blade, he heard no laughs or giggles. Instead, Bakugou’s body trembled in tandem with the movements of his hand, and his jaw tensed into silence. That was a pretty abnormal reaction to being tickled, as far as Todoroki’s knowledge on the matter went.

“Uhh…” Todoroki’s earnest conjecture only made the pinkish hue dusting Bakugou’s cheekbones even darker. He didn’t even have a comeback for it since he was kind of right… probably. ‘Ticklish’ was the only word he knew that could describe that sensation, so that was the word he used. Whether it was the right one or not was not his problem, and he wasn’t about to let Todoroki make it into one.

“Is this why you’re so ruthless about your personal space?” asked Todoroki, this time moving his hand downwards. The pads of his fingers followed along his slightly arched spine until he returned to the small of his back, each movement eliciting more fidgeting from Bakugou.

“Do you wanna die?” Bakugou barked back, his crimson eyes tightening into a glare.

“Sorry, that was a mean question,” admitted Todoroki, backing off instantly. He was in a really good position to get attacked point-blank, and he did not want to find out which one of his moves Bakugou would use against him. As an apology and a token of his goodwill, Todoroki withdrew his hands from inside his t-shirt and replaced the lost physical contact with one more kiss.

He might be in the middle of testing boundaries, but Todoroki didn’t necessarily want to do anything that Bakugou didn’t feel comfortable with, even if he was too proud to admit it. So back to the basics he went. But just because he had addressed it as ‘the basics’, it didn’t mean that kissing Bakugou wasn’t a pretty great experience in its own right. His recently gained experience with it had allowed him to learn how to make the best out of it, which included and took into account both of their preferences and likes. It was a really weird phenomenon, but making Bakugou squirm around felt even more satisfying than what he got out of the kiss personally. That was why he still couldn’t control this urge he felt to kiss him again and again once they started. To sum it up in just a handful of words, it felt too good to stop.

With that said, they couldn’t exactly spend the rest of the day making out. Even if they were technically on vacation, their schedules were packed thanks to their unofficial mission. He might not like it or want it, but Todoroki had to summon the strength and will to stop. It wasn’t easy, especially when he put enough distance between their faces to really take in the entirety of Bakugou’s blushing features, but he somehow managed to do it…

…for about less than a minute.

“...Just for the record, I told you to watch it, not that you had to stop completely…” mumbled Bakugou after taking a couple of deeper breaths to even out the accelerated inflating and deflating of his ribcage. He didn’t want Todoroki to get any silly ideas in his head or misinterpret his words, so he took it upon himself to clarify what he had truly meant earlier, even though it was ridiculously embarrassing to have to spell it all out that bluntly.

“Okay, that was my bad,” were the words Todoroki chanted in the back of his mind, too busy pouncing on Bakugou to physically enunciate them. The resulting impact got Bakugou’s hips bumping against the dining table once again, causing it to noisily slide against the floor behind them.

“Mmmh! Haa, wai- Mmngh…!” Bakugou’s voice was greedily swallowed by the nth kiss of the day, this one just as intense as the latter ones during the sofa fiasco. It was most likely done on reflex, but when he motioned his hand towards Todoroki to grab him, their positions were reversed, and it was his wrist instead that was grappled against the dining table, his upper body soon following along. At the rate things were going, Bakugou would collect enough furniture pieces in which he had been pinned down by Todoroki to furnish an entire hypothetical house before the end of the year.

His arm was being held motionless, and his head and back were pressed against the dining table by Todoroki’s body, but Bakugou still had a free arm he could use at will. It was promptly used to grab onto the back of Todoroki’s t-shirt when that ballsy moron took hold of his thigh and moved it aside to more snuggly insert himself between his legs.

Well, at least this time we won’t get interrupted, was Todoroki’s only takeaway from this whole ordeal. They were in the privacy of Bakugou’s apartment, where he could kiss and pounce on him without inconveniencing anyone. That little piece of information only stoked the out-of-control fires harder. Todoroki wanted to continue kissing him until they were both out of oxygen, but he also wanted to pick up where he had left off with the touching, despite his hands already being occupied with holding Bakugou in place. He found a way out of that conundrum when an idea one step short of genius popped into his head.

“Haa, haa, nnngh…” Bakugou thought he had finally gotten some breathing room when Todoroki pulled their faces apart after one final wet smooch, but he was forced right back into defence when Todoroki’s lips were replaced by the same tongue that had been so passionately tasting the inside of his mouth. The sensation of Todoroki licking him from his gasping lips to his clenched jaw sent shivers down his spine. It was fairly dangerous to allow his jaw to relax enough to speak, but he still had to make that risky gamble. “T-This is no longer just touching…”

“I’m just using different body parts to touch you. It’s probably fine,” pointed out Todoroki with a calmness that contrasted drastically with his rash actions. That sort of reasoning made total sense in his brain, especially when he was too busy with Bakugou’s body to pay full attention to what he was saying. Bakugou wasn’t as instantly sold on it, though.

“Oh, so now you’re suddenly an expert in semantics, huh?” grumbled Bakugou, his flushed face furrowing just the slightest with a pout. He wanted to lift his head from the table, but the way Todoroki was working his way down his neck left it feeling as heavy as lead. Even fidgeting and flailing around was hard with how tightly he was stuck between Todoroki and the table. The most he could do was yank at Todoroki’s clothes more and more the longer this went on. “Ngh, w-wait… Todoroki, ah-”

The sound of a door suddenly being slammed open echoed across the entire apartment, muffling Bakugou’s voice almost completely in the process. Both of them froze instantly, taking far longer than usual to react to a potentially dangerous unknown entity. They simply tilted their heads so they could peek at the corridor that connected the living room area with the entrance as a frantic voice grew closer and closer to them.

“Bakugou, I know you’re angry, but it was just an accident! He’s clumsy like that, but doesn’t mean any harm by it, believe me! So I’m begging you, don’t kill or beat up Todoroki because of what happened during the press conference!!” cried out the surprise intruder as he sped through the corridor with thumping footsteps. The intruder turned out to be Kirishima, sweat dripping down his panicked face as his bare feet skidded on the floor and he came to a stop by the living room entrance. The scene he walked in on nearly made him drop his jaw to the floor, but he managed to catch it halfway there to gasp, “Oh no… I’m too late… You’re already trying to kill each other…”

Seriously?, deadpanned Todoroki in the back of his mind, feeling surprisingly annoyed as he expressionlessly stared back at the flabbergasted Kirishima. Well, there went that ‘at least we can’t be interrupted here’ theory of his…

Chapter Text

“So? What the heck are you doing here?” asked Bakugou, a deep frown on his face as he stared straight at his friend’s guilty face. This went without saying, but it looked like Kirishima was already repenting, even though Bakugou’s lengthy sermon was only getting started. “Shouldn’t you be, you know, doing your fuckin’ job at who knows where in Osaka?”

“Well…” started Kirishima with a certain hesitation. His body uncomfortably shifted as he remained kneeling on the floor right in front of Bakugou, who was casually sitting on the sofa looking like the king of the castle - which, in a way, was the truth. “Today’s actually my day off… Thanks to that, I got to watch your press conference live, since I was kinda curious about how that would go. Aaaaand that’s when that, um, kiss and fall happened… I knew right away I had to do something or you’d murder Todoroki the moment you two were out of Endeavor’s hero agency. And I was right! You two were literally just brawling like you used to during training sessions at UA!”

“We weren’t-”

“You shut up and keep washing the dishes!” Bakugou intervened, cutting off Todoroki before he could complete whatever sentence that might have been. He had a long track record of saying the bluntest things ever without thinking about consequences, and that was the sort of thing Bakugou really wanted to avoid right now.

Kirishima seemed to be misunderstanding what had actually been happening a few minutes ago, probably because he only saw Todoroki pinning Bakugou against the dining table rather than kissing him. As far as Bakugou was concerned, they were all better off that way.

“............” Todoroki expressionlessly stared at Bakugou in total silence for a while. No, to be more precise, there was some expression on his handsome face - displeasure. In his own way, Todoroki was sulking at how his leisurely lunchtime with Bakugou had cascaded into a messy friend reunion. The sulking was particularly visible in the way he let out a small sigh, turned his head forward and kept on silently washing the dishes in the kitchen sink, the sound of passive-aggressive clicks and clanks echoing around him.

“Anyway!” scoffed Bakugou, enunciating every syllable of the word in a clear, loud manner. His strict gaze returned to his friend, who immediately flinched into a straighter kneeling position. “How did you even get in here?”

“Oh, I used the keys you gave me in case something happens to you,” explained Kirishima, hoping his earnestness and lack of ill intentions would soften whatever punishment was about to come his way. “I’ve never been here before, so it took me a while to track down the fastest route from the train station to the address you gave me ages ago. Fortunately, that crowd downstairs was a dead giveaway about which apartment complex you live in, ahahaha!”

“Right, I did do that…” mumbled Bakugou, searching through his memories for that particular hazy instance. It had been such a long time ago that he had completely forgotten he had provided Kirishima with a copy of his house keys, which were strictly to be used only in the case of an emergency, like, for example, if Bakugou was severely injured or, worst-case scenario, killed in action. All pro heroes had such ‘what if’ plans laid out, just in case. He could have chosen to give those copies to his parents instead, but he didn’t want to burden them with the task of sorting out his stuff right after losing their only son. That’s why Bakugou gave them to Kirishima instead, fully aware he probably would never have a reason to use them. Now, he was sort of regretting having made that choice. “Give them to me. I need to return them together with my own copies once I vacate this apartment.”

“Sure,” said Kirishima, all smiles as he searched for the set of keys in his pocket. When he finally grabbed and then motioned them towards his buddy, Bakugou pretty much slapped them out of his grasp.

“Now, care to tell me which part of this can be called an ‘emergency’?” asked Bakugou, his voice nearly growling as it dropped a pitch or two and turned deadly cold. “Did someone ask for help? Were any signals of distress somehow sent to you? And no, Kaminari and Sero complaining that I'm not picking up their dumb calls is not a freaking emergency!”

“Ugh…” groaned Kirishima, readily closing his mouth now that Bakugou had destroyed the precise argument he was about to give to defend his actions. He nervously looked around Bakugou’s apartment, doing his best to come up with something that would save him from a gruesome death. “Err… You sounded pretty angry in the group chat?”

“I always sound angry in the group chat because I’m surrounded by fucking morons!!!” hissed Bakugou, his already demonic glare tightening even further as he smacked the top of Kirishima’s head with his open hand. “What part of this mission can you not understand, huh!? We’re pretending to be married! No, actually, we are married! So why the hell are you freaking out about a kiss or two!?”

“Of course I’m going to freak out if you’re the one getting kissed live on television! You gave us zero warning you’d do something like that!” pointed out Kirishima, absolutely gobsmacked that Bakugou was even wondering why they were making such a fuss about the events of the press conference. He sought some support from Todoroki, who was now done with the dishes and was walking up to them, but by the expressionless look on his face, Kirishima could already tell he wouldn’t be getting any help out of that front either. “I know you two are just pretending when you’re out in public, but look at it from our perspective, yeah? How would you react if I suddenly kissed Sero or Kaminari or the like in the middle of a press conference?”

“I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about it,” scoffed Bakugou with a dismissive roll of his eyes. “It’s none of my business who you kiss, much less if it’s because of a mission. Do you think actors and actresses get all finicky every time they need to kiss a coworker while filming? It’s work. You just do it and then move on with your life.”

“Yeah, but you’re not actors, you’re pro heroes…” said Kirishima, starting to feel this really intense urge to smack his forehead against the floor. He knew very well how stubborn Bakugou could be once he made up his mind about something, but this seemed to be too big an overreaction to be considered normal ‘Bakugou behaviour’.

“It’s okay, Kirishima. We discussed it beforehand, while we were planning what to say during the press conference,” reassured Todoroki, even providing his former classmate with an expressionless thumbs up when he looked his way once again. “We’ve mutually agreed that it’s a handy manoeuvre to convince other people we’re really in a relationship. We’re also only doing it as a last resort. So you have nothing to worry about regarding consent and possible deadly consequences.”

‘Only doing it as a last resort,’ my ass… I’ve already lost count of how many times we kissed today, and we’ve only now reached the afternoon, grumbled Bakugou in the back of his mind, his eyebrow twitching from irritation. While Todoroki was technically telling the truth and they had only used kisses as a last resort up until now, that was only because he was simply counting the public kisses. If they were to include the ‘practice’ kisses too, Todoroki would automatically become the biggest liar and hypocrite in the country.

“Eh…? You agreed on it?” Kirishima repeated, his jaw ready to drop on the floor for the third time that day. “As in, you agreed that kissing was fair game for your mission…?”

“Like I’ve been saying this whole time, we need to make it believable,” sighed Bakugou, feeling yet again like a broken record forced to repeat the same lines again and again and again. “I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who are suspicious of our sudden marriage announcement and wondering why exactly we’ve supposedly been keeping our relationship a secret this whole time. So we’re using our reputation, or better yet, our lack of a reputation in the romance department, in our favour. It seems pretty legit and convincing when it’s us kissing, right?”

“I mean, sure… You two definitely aren’t known for constantly hooking up with new partners…” acknowledged Kirishima, even though there was still a healthy dose of scepticism in his voice. “If anything, you’re on the total opposite end of that spectrum.”

“See?” proudly snorted Bakugou, a knowing smirk already tugging at the corner of his lips as he puffed out his chest. “We’re carefully laying out all of the groundwork so we can keep this whole scandal as pristine as possible and lower the probability of being caught in this lie. Once things calm down and the novelty of our ‘relationship’ dies down, we won’t have to put on such a big show and can go about our lives as usual until we complete our mission.”

“Well, if you’re okay with it, then I guess it’s fine…” said Kirishima, unable to continue questioning his friend on it when he sounded so certain about the plan they had created. “But if you’re willing to go that far, then why don’t you-”

Kirishima abruptly halted his next question halfway through.

Ever since their high school days, Kirishima had considered Bakugou to be his best friend. They had gone through a lot together, had supported one another during challenging times and had grown side by side into the pro heroes they were today. So if you asked him, he’d tell you he knew Bakugou pretty darn well.

If there was one thing that was cemented as Bakugou’s baseline, it was his unwillingness to do anything that he did not want to do. Bakugou only ever did what he wanted or what he thought was best, no matter who he had to challenge or defy in the process. Even that ‘best’ had to fall within the grounds of what he considered to be in alignment with his inherent will, or else he’d come up with an even better ‘best’.

In other words, if Bakugou was willing to kiss Todoroki for the sake of a mission, then it meant he wasn’t opposed to doing it in itself, whether work was involved or otherwise. Kirishima was sure that if he asked Bakugou if he’d also kiss any of their former classmates or current coworkers if it helped him with the successful completion of a mission, the answer would always be a definite no.

He wasn’t as close with Todoroki as he was with Bakugou, but Kirishima had the feeling he also felt the same way about it. Todoroki’s lack of interest in love and romance, despite being so popular in that regard, was something the former Class A had been joking about since their first year in high school. There was no need for him to pretend to be in a relationship with someone when he had so many people more than willing to become his real lover. However, instead of one of those suitors, Todoroki ended up picking the least expected person as his partner for this so-called ‘mission’.

Kirishima had yet to understand what sort of rational process had led Todoroki to make such an unforeseen choice, but what mattered most was that he had made it and showed no signs of regretting it.

Both Bakugou and Todoroki were such complex and different human beings, and yet they had simultaneously reached the exact same conclusion.

“Then why don’t you just date for real?” - That was the question Kirishima had nearly asked them. He didn’t follow through with it only because he didn’t feel like it was his place to voice out such a thing, let alone influence them into adding such a possibility to their considerations when they had yet to reach it themselves.

In fact, Kirishima had only travelled all the way there from Osaka because he was under the assumption that Todoroki had one-sidedly kissed Bakugou, something that would have absolutely ended in a bloodbath had that actually been the case. The last thing he wanted was for Bakugou to truly end up on the villain side after being charged for the murder of a fellow pro hero, so of course he boarded the earliest flight and train he could get and then ran at full speed all the way to Bakugou’s apartment to prevent the inevitable from unfolding.

But now that he knew both Todoroki and Bakugou were on the same page, he had no more urgent worries to speak of. Or better yet, he did have some worries, in particular how long it would take them to realise they didn’t necessarily need to fake it to make this relationship happen, but that would be a story for another day.

“Wait, if you two agreed on the kiss thing beforehand, what exactly were you fighting about then?” asked Kirishima, that question suddenly popping up in his mind when he realised there was no longer a proper reason that explained why they were brawling on top of the dining table when he got there.

“We weren’t fighting, we-”

“It’s obviously because he’s such a nightmare to deal with!” Bakugou loudly hissed, slapping his whole hand against Todoroki’s face to shut him up yet again. He then proceeded to pinch the cheek closest to him as hard as he could, silently passing on the message that Todoroki would be killed instantly if he opened his mouth. “This man-child came to beg me to hide in here while he’s eating his lunch because those annoyances outside won’t stop ringing his doorbell. Then he had the gall to tell me he’d help me pack my stuff. How exactly did you expect me not to throw hands instantly?”

“Ahaha… Now I see…” awkwardly laughed Kirishima, sending Todoroki and his poor, squished cheek a pitying glance. Interfering with the independence Bakugou was so proud of was indeed a sure-fire way of picking a physical altercation with him… “Still, I had no idea you lived so close to one another. Where’s your apartment, Todoroki?”

“Upstairs,” deadpanned Todoroki, gesturing at the ceiling with his index finger.

“Upstairs!?” yelped Kirishima, his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets, such was the shock of receiving that extremely unexpected piece of information. “You’re literally neighbours? Like when we were at the dorm!? How come I’ve never heard anything about it!?”

“I hadn’t either until we got married,” said Todoroki, reassuring their former classmate that he hadn’t been the only one left out of the loop.

“Bakugou, dude… You really need to work on your social skills…” sighed Kirishima, slowly shaking his head in disapproval. They all knew Bakugou was living on his own in an apartment somewhere, but no amount of pestering (mostly from Kaminari) had ever led to them being invited over. While Kirishima had had his address and keys for pretty much three years now, he had never dared to show up there uninvited until now. Still, nothing was stopping Bakugou from mentioning, ‘Hey, Todoroki just moved into the same apartment complex as me, what a coincidence,’ aside from his own stubbornness…

“Yeah, right! If I told you guys, you would have definitely invited yourselves over to his apartment and then just ‘accidentally’ knocked on the wrong door!” Bakugou yapped back in retaliation. “I know very well how you guys are and how your dumb brains work, so don’t even try to deny it!”

“Ugh… Yeah, that sounds like something Kaminari would do…” groaned Kirishima, his head slumping backwards at the same time he leaned back a bit more, his hands on the floor to prevent him from fully falling down.

“You idiots might not realise it, because I’m so patient and saintly and you guys routinely share the same single brain cell and take turns on who’s currently using it, but you love to stomp my boundaries. Of course I’m going to make my life easier and not share certain information with you,” scoffed Bakugou, a bit calmer now that he had effectively hit Kirishima where it hurt the most - Kaminari’s stupid, unsuccessful and absolutely annoying prank schemes. “I don’t even want to think about how many phone calls and messages I’d receive if I had included, ‘Btw we’re gonna kiss a few times, don’t mind us’ in the guidelines I’ve sent you. It would be just as bad as those professional stalkers outside! I can only tolerate so much at the same time, so I decided to pick the least troublesome battle first. But worry not, Kirishima, I will absolutely deal with you guys once we stop being followed 24/7 by that horde of salivating vultures. It will be a lesson you will never forget for the rest of your miserable lives.”

“Aha… Ahahaha… I, um… I think I should get going…” stammered Kirishima with a nervous laugh, already picking himself up from the floor in preparation to get the hell out of there before Bakugou gave him the advanced experience of whatever it was that he was planning to ‘teach’ them. “I have work tomorrow, so, you know… I shouldn’t get back to Osaka too late and all that… Gotta get my daily 8 hours of sleep, ahaha…”

“Yeah, that sounds like a great plan,” acknowledged Bakugou, suspiciously keeping Kirishima continuously under his gaze while remaining in his seat on the sofa.

“Do you want me to drive you to the train station?” offered Todoroki, the third person greatly in favour of that plan. Not to sound rude, but he and Bakugou did sort of have a schedule to meet - a schedule that was now twice as delayed due to Kirishima’s unexpected visit. The sooner he left, the faster they could get back on track. Plus, if Todoroki personally dropped him off at the train station, he’d be making sure their surprise visitor had truly left. “We’re borrowing one of my agency’s vehicles while we’re on vacation.”

“Nah, that’s not needed. You must be super busy with the last-minute house move. I don’t want to inconvenience you any more than I already did. I appreciate the sentiment, though,” said Kirishima, declining that offer right away with a big smile on his face. “Oh, there’s no need to see me off, I know where the door is. If you guys need any help with your mission or dealing with the reporters and so on, let me know!”

“Just make sure you don’t say something stupid if you’re ever interviewed about us, that’s all the help we want,” sighed Bakugou while rolling his eyes at the energetic way in which Kirishima was waving at them as he walked towards the living room’s entrance.

“Sir, yes, sir!” acknowledged Kirishima with a quick, half-serious, half-joking salute.

“And make sure Dunce Face also doesn’t say or do anything stupid, alright?” added Bakugou a bit more loudly, wanting to make sure that Kirishima heard him as he disappeared from sight. He got a quick thumbs up in return, Kirishima’s hand the only visible part of his body.

Yeah, it’s too late for that already, deadpanned Todoroki in the back of his mind, recalling the ‘wedding gift’ he had received from Kaminari that past weekend. Given everything that had just been said, Bakugou was definitely not going to be all that happy once he found out about that. Todoroki’s only hope was that said discovery happened further down the line than right now at the beginning. Well, what Bakugou doesn’t know won’t hurt anyone, especially not Kaminari. But that’s beside the point. There’s something a whole lot more important that needs to be addressed right now…

“What?” said Bakugou, an eyebrow getting quizzically arched when he noticed Todoroki expressionlessly staring in his direction shortly after they heard his front door opening and closing.

“You said no one knows where you live,” said Todoroki, his face once again gaining that sulking expressionless demeanour he had on while washing the dishes.

“You literally heard Kirishima say this was his first time here, right?” groaned Bakugou with a fed-up roll of his eyes. “Who cares if I said that no one knows where I live or that no one has ever been invited to my apartment? The most important thing is that no one has been disturbing my peace up until now.”

“But he had your address and a copy of your keys,” pointed out Todoroki, relentless with both his words and his gaze. This time, he wasn’t going to allow Bakugou to dismiss this conversation with his usual tactic of minimising his actions and words.

“So? I bet you also gave a copy to your family and have created your own version of the directives I made in case something happens to me,” Bakugou remarked while shrugging his shoulders. The moment he saw Todoroki opening his mouth, he knew right away what he was about to say, so he beat him to it. “No, I definitely couldn’t give the keys to my parents instead. My old hag would constantly drop by at random moments and take charge of the whole place. 18 years of living under her roof were enough, thank you very much. Kirishima might be a big doofus at times, but he’s dependable for stuff like this.”

“Does that mean you’re also going to give him a copy of the keys to our new apartment?” grumbled Todoroki, feeling more and more bitter about this unplanned issue. He thought that their new apartment would be just his and Bakugou’s, a place meant for just the two of them while they were dealing with their respective problems. The thought of Kirishima also having free access to it whenever he felt like it was disrupting that perception to an aggravating degree…

“Huh? You’re gonna be there too, so why would I do that?” declared Bakugou almost instantly. He truly could not understand what exactly Todoroki was trying to get at with all of those useless questions. As far as he was concerned, there was no connection between the apartment they were going to move into together and what he had been doing while living on his own. It was like comparing apples to oranges, just pure nonsense. “Besides, we are literally married, you dumbass. You are my most direct next of kin now. So if something were to happen to me, you’re in charge of dealing with it.”

“Oh.” And just like that, all of that bitterness and irritation was expelled from Todoroki’s body and mind. Even he was slightly taken aback by how that simple explanation had radically changed his entire mood and demeanour in the span of seconds. It left him absentmindedly staring at Bakugou in total silence, slowly processing the whiplash of the clashing emotions. After a good while, he finally said, “So there won’t be a third copy of the keys?”

“If you want to give one to your family, go right ahead,” said Bakugou, using one more dismissive shrug to nestle his back more snuggly against the sofa. “Just make sure it doesn’t somehow end up in Endeavor’s hands. He would be just as bad with unannounced visits as my old hag. Nah, it would be even worse, since he’s someone who definitely can’t find out the truth about our marriage. If he goes there, he’ll notice right away we aren’t living like an actual married couple.”

“My parents don’t exactly have your stereotypical marriage, so I’m not so sure about that,” deadpanned Todoroki, forced to come back to Earth from la-la-land with the mention of his father. Due to their Quirk marriage and the events that unfolded shortly after he was born, Todoroki didn’t have many memories of his parents living together as a married couple. He was far too young when his mother’s mental breakdown happened, which was then followed by an absence that lasted for nearly a decade. Now that the Todoroki family was splintered into the optimal distance for everyone, there was little to no chance that his parents would ever live together as a through-and-through couple once again, even if they were still legally married to one another.

“Yeah, but he has this thing called ‘common sense’,” scoffed Bakugou, lightly shaking his head in disapproval of Todoroki’s naivety. “He’s already all paranoid about our very-much-real marriage certificate, seeing the apartment we’ll be sharing as simply housemates would feed that paranoia even more. And yeah, we can try to prevent him from going there, but who are we trying to kid here? He’s definitely going to come up with some excuse to go there at some point.”

“Yeah, he most likely will,” sighed Todoroki, his shoulders slumping just the slightest. He could already see his father weaponising their shared workplace as a way to come ‘inspect’ his new living quarters. “What should we do about that? It will be impossible to fake something like that at the last minute if he shows up at our doorstep out of the blue.”

“Getting him out of there before he can figure out the truth is our best bet,” Bakugou admitted, even though he didn’t like how half-assed and fallible such a plan was.

“Yeah…” Todoroki also wasn’t a big fan of that plan, but what other choice did they have? They only needed to pretend to be a real couple while out in public, and their private residence was meant to give them a break from that while keeping their deal a secret from the rest of the world. It would be impossible for them to reverse that course just so they could handle some sporadic, temporary incidents. Unless… “Do you wanna share a bed?”

“......Did the dish soap somehow travel all the way to your brain and wipe away the last few brain cells you had?” asked Bakugou, so scandalised by that absurd suggestion that he even forgot to get mad. “How the heck do you even fit two grown men in the same bed? Mine is big enough for me, but that’s about it. There’s no way cramming two people in a space meant for one is comfortable or sustainable. And just for the record, I ain’t about to sacrifice my sleep quality just because your stubborn old man might or might not show up for a surprise ‘marriage investigation’.”

“Wanna go buy a bigger one, then?” Todoroki suggested next, his sitting position straightening up out of enthusiasm. If Bakugou’s only problem with his plan was space and comfort, then there was a very easy fix for it - they just had to buy a new bed that they could claim to be marital property. “We have that extra bedroom, so we can keep whichever bed we’re replacing there until our mission is completed. Actually, we can just use that room as storage for the furniture we have extras of. You have a sofa, I have a sofa, but we only need one for the new living room, right?”

“Hmm… That’s not a bad idea, but…” mumbled Bakugou, giving that suggestion a second thought now that Todoroki had expanded it in a workable, convenient direction. It still had a fair amount of rough edges, though, so he wasn’t willing to accept it just yet. “How would we even decide what gets used and what gets stored away? That plan just sounds like something that would get us arguing back and forth over who gets to use their stuff without actually getting anything done.”

“In that case, we can just decide with a game of rock, paper, scissors,” said Todoroki, his voice and demeanour dead serious as that awfully childish solution exited his mouth. “Whoever wins gets to use that piece of furniture. The one who loses stores it away in the extra room or finds a different use for it somewhere else. Easy, right?”

“.........Pfft! Ahahaha!” Contrary to Todoroki’s very-much-serious expectations, Bakugou burst into laughter instead of providing him with a yes or no. “Doing justice to your name, are we now, you half-assed idiot? Rock, paper, scissors to decide on furniture, he says… You couldn’t have come up with a weirder solution if you tried, ahahaha!”

“You were the one who said you wanted to think things through and make everything fair in the apartment we’ll be sharing…” pointed out Todoroki, his heart doing what he could only describe as a somersault before settling into a faster rhythm. Getting Bakugou to laugh and smile twice in the same day was unprecedented, a miracle as rare as winning the lottery ten weeks in a row. Instead of sulking at the fact that his genuine suggestion was getting laughed at, Todoroki felt twice as determined to implement that fairness system for their shared home. “If our disputes and differences in opinion are solved by a game of chance, we can’t get angry at one another for losing, right? I think such a simple solution would fit us pretty well…”

“You do know I could easily cheat my way into always winning at rock, paper, scissors, right?” snickered Bakugou, the corners of his lips mischievously curling into a smirk.

“Yeah, and I could do the same, which means our interference would cancel each other out,” said Todoroki with a quick shrug.

“You really think so, don’t you?” scoffed Bakugou, his smirk widening even further. Whether Todoroki was overestimating himself or underestimating Bakugou was of no importance; what mattered most was that his ‘husband’ was under the impression they would be on equal ground. “Fine, we can use that method to plan the layout of the apartment. I’m gonna go grab something where we can write down my winning streak.”

Hehehe, he has no idea what he just signed himself up for, mischievously giggled Bakugou in the back of his mind as he got up from the sofa to go find himself some writing tools. I’m about to dominate that entire apartment after getting it delivered to me on a silver platter, hehehe…

Spoiler alert: the lengthy game of rock, paper, scissors that was about to unfold did, in fact, not go according to Bakugou’s evil machinations.

Chapter Text

Damn it, something’s not right here…

The tension in the living room could be cut with a knife, so thick it had gotten in the past 30 minutes. Bakugou’s glaring eyes tightened as he closely observed the current results of the lengthy rock, paper, scissors ‘competition’ they had started to solve any potential disagreements about furniture and the layout of their future shared apartment.

There were quite a few things they were both willing to compromise on, like in the kitchen’s case. Todoroki was fully aware he wouldn’t be giving it all that much use daily. Hence, he was more than happy to give Bakugou full control over what happened to it. He could change it and arrange it whichever way he liked, and Todoroki wouldn’t say a peep about it. All he wanted was a little corner in the cupboards, fridge and freezer for his food. That wasn’t an unreasonable demand, so Bakugou readily accepted those terms.

Todoroki was also in agreement with how Bakugou wanted to repurpose their big balcony for training purposes above all else. It was fine as it was right now, so there was hardly anything to discuss about it, but once the rainy season and the cold of winter arrived, they’d revisit the topic and figure out a way to continue training outdoors regardless of the atmospheric conditions.

That only left the common areas, such as the living room, the entrance and the extra room, and the marital bed, which was when things started getting serious - perhaps a bit too serious.

Bakugou’s initial winning streak quickly morphed into a tit-for-tat warfare, until they found themselves in the current 50/50 split. After the first couple of rounds that went in his favour - because he was doing exactly what he said he would do and was cheating his way into a perfect victory - Todoroki suddenly started winning the rock, paper, scissors matches until he was tied with Bakugou. From there onward, they constantly took turns on who won and who lost.

With that sort of weirdly fair equity and the escalating tension in the room, Bakugou could only reach one conclusion - Todoroki was likewise cheating, just like he said he could.

Shit, we’re slipping back to old habits without even meaning to…, Bakugou grumbled in the back of his mind, his jaw tensing as he realised what was happening.

He was a very competitive person, someone who hated to lose with a violent passion, and, most importantly of all, he was an irredeemable perfectionist who wanted to claim absolute victories in all facets of his life. In simpler terms, Bakugou refused to lose against anyone, even during a silly game of rock, paper, scissors.

However, Todoroki was very similar to him in this regard. He was also a naturally competitive young man and would take any challenge that came his way very seriously. He probably wasn’t going all out at the start of their ‘competition’, but the constant losses must have started to rub him the wrong way halfway through it, and so he switched to competitive mode. In other words, he was now taking these matches seriously and was actively trying his best to win against Bakugou.

This explosive competitiveness that was being fed by their cut-throat personalities and unyielding pride was what got them in countless tense matches since their very first meeting. Whether it was training matches, test scores, official matches in UA’s sports festival, or even the number of villains and criminals they arrested during internships, Bakugou and Todoroki always unconsciously turned it into their own private competition against one another. The fact that they were evenly matched in nearly everything they competed over had turned them into each other’s biggest rival.

After graduating from UA, they began working in their respective hero agencies, first as sidekicks and then as full-fledged pro heroes. That temporarily cut down on the number of opportunities they had to start these childish competitions against one another. They were far too busy to keep that going, all the more so with the reduced number of interactions they had during and outside their work hours.

But now that they had taken on this ‘mission’ and were actively working together - to not speak of the fact they would be literally living under the same roof from now on -, they didn’t waste any time returning to their private competitions over every little thing.

Such an annoying outcome felt like a really bitter pill to swallow, but Bakugou had to admit that turning their decision-making into a fair match was indeed the most fitting solution for them. Making it clear who had won or lost over a specific disagreement saved them a lot of time that would have been otherwise spent arguing back and forth. Sure, it was a bit weird and even extremely childish to decide something according to a silly game of rock, paper, scissors, but its effectiveness was undeniable.

That’s why Bakugou couldn’t really complain about what he had been writing down on that notepad, even though he was so very annoyed at the 50/50 split. According to it, they would be blending their possessions so equitably that it nearly felt like they were truly merging their past single lives into a strong partnership that transcended the piece of paper officially dubbing them as a married couple. It wasn’t even the oftentimes mismatched furniture or having to keep a portion of his belongings stored in the extra room that was bothering him; it was the silent symbolism such a perfect blend represented.

“Tsk, let’s end this once and for all…” grumbled Bakugou under his breath, moving on to the last match of the day - the so-called marital bed. I’m pretty happy with my bed as it is, so I guess I’ll let him win this one… It’s his father who is the potential problem here; it’s only fair that he’s the one making changes to fight that threat.

Todoroki gave a silent nod with his head at that mumbled instruction, already preparing his hands for the final game of rock, paper, scissors. His naturally expressionless face was unreadable, but so were Bakugou’s frowning features. The silent gap between that announcement and the start of the ‘match’ seemed to stretch on and on.

The tension reached its peak as they simultaneously moved their closed fists, once, twice, thrice, before revealing their last ‘attack’. One used ‘rock’, the other ‘scissors’.

With that, Todoroki was awarded the final victory, much like Bakugou had calculated.

Losing one more time pissed him off more than he could express with words, but it was for the greater good of their mission. If he could swallow the humiliation of being pushed from a chair mid-kiss while live on television and other news outlets, he could do the same about a bed he wouldn’t even be using unless one of their ‘enemies’ decided to pay them an unannounced visit and refused to leave until he had concrete proof to support his ‘conspiracy theory’.

“Well, now that everything has been decided, let’s go,” said Todoroki after an acknowledging nod of his head. He got up from the sofa while adjusting the position of his smartphone in his pocket. With that, he noticed a few missing items. “Ah. I need to pass by my apartment before we leave. I left my wallet and the car keys there.”

“Huh? Let’s go where?” asked Bakugou, caught completely off guard by that sudden change of plans. “Weren’t we supposed to continue packing our stuff?”

“While I might be used to sleeping on a futon, I don’t necessarily want to sleep on the floor,” deadpanned Todoroki, stopping on his tracks as he was halfway to the corridor connecting the living room area to the entrance. “If I don’t buy the bigger bed now, we won’t be able to time the delivery with our current move-in date.”

“Yeah, but what does that have to do with me? Just order a bed online or something,” pointed out Bakugou with a dismissive shrug. “There’s no reason why I need to go to a physical store with you.”

“It’s way too hard to decide on the right mattress if I buy it online,” explained Todoroki, quickly checking the time on his phone. They still have a good handful of hours until most stores close. That meant they could take their time, even if they got surrounded by the journalists and paparazzi still keeping guard outside. “Plus, there’s a big chance you’ll also have to sleep in it. Didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to be uncomfortable or sacrifice your sleep quality?”

“Tsk…” Once again, Bakugou’s previous words were coming back to bite him in the ass. There really seemed to be no way out of this one, especially with how weirdly insistent Todoroki was being. “Fine. I could use some more boxes for the packing, so I might as well grab them on our way there.”

“Oh. I should buy some too, now that I think about it,” acknowledged Todoroki, having finally realised that he didn’t actually have the basic items needed to safely move his belongings from one apartment to the other. He waited for Bakugou to grab his things and then walked alongside him to the entrance area. “ I should also get some packing tape.”

“Get something to cushion the most fragile objects too while you’re at it, or else you’ll open the boxes to broken stuff left and right,” warned Bakugou while rolling his eyes at Todoroki’s easy-going attitude. He was starting to get the feeling that a certain someone was about to half-ass his moving, and then a certain phenomenal genius would have to come to his rescue during every single step of the process. I might as well save myself the trouble of fixing problems and just micromanage the whole thing from the start…

“Oh yeah, I didn’t think of that,” gasped Todoroki, once again mindblown by Bakugou’s foresight. “Should we also rent a moving truck to help us transport both the big and small stuff? There’s no way we’d be able to fit the bigger pieces of furniture inside my agency’s vehicle.”

“I’m already working on it,” sighed Bakugou, his smartphone already in his hand even as he locked his door. He had already been thinking about renting a proper moving truck for the day of the move, so he had already done his homework and researched a few possible candidates for that role. “Since it’s your fault we have that mob setting camp in front of the apartment complex, you’re in charge of moving them somewhere else as we carry our stuff to the truck.”

“So you’re still keeping the blame game going…” mumbled Todoroki, sighing to himself in the back of his mind. He had already lost count of how many times that little incident had been weaponised against him, even though not even a full day had gone by since the press conference.

“I told you I won’t let you live that one down,” scoffed Bakugou, pressing the call button right next to the elevator. Fortunately, the elevator was already on that floor, so they boarded it right away. The elevator trip was over in a matter of seconds, as their first stop was Todoroki’s apartment, one floor away from Bakugou’s. “If I’m going to be haunted by the video recordings of that press conference for the rest of my life, I’m going to make sure you get some consequences of equal proportion.”

“Your pettiness truly knows no bounds,” deadpanned Todoroki, his face growing even more expressionless as he reached for his keys. While there was more he could say in complaint, he was aware that there was no use in doing so.

Bakugou was as vindictive as a bloodthirsty lion; he would hunt down the same victim again and again until his hunger for vengeance was finally sated. Seeing as he was still holding the results of their first sports festival at AU against him, Bakugou would probably use the kiss and fall incident against Todoroki for the rest of their lives, much like he said. But, at the end of the day, that was just how Bakugou was, and Todoroki had long accepted it as something he just had to deal with to the best of his ability. Besides, if Bakugou was truly angry at him and bothered by what had happened, he would simply cut off Todoroki from his life rather than weaponise the incident against him. As such, Todoroki was still in the clear as far as Bakugou was concerned.

“Do you want to come in for a little bit?” asked Todoroki, gesturing to the inside of his apartment with his thumb after unlocking and opening the front door.

“Just hurry up and go get your things,” groaned Bakugou with an exasperated roll of his eyes. He urged Todoroki to get moving by shooing him away with his hand, all ready to wait right there in the hallway as he organised the moving truck matter. However, unexpectedly, the hand that was meant to get Todoroki to focus on his current task ended up getting caught up in following along. As Todoroki stepped inside his apartment, he dragged Bakugou inside with him and then closed the door behind them.

“Now you’ll be able to see I know how to look after my living space,” explained Todoroki, calmly taking his shoes off with just one hand despite the begrudging glare being sent his way.

“You are so freakin’ annoying…!” Bakugou barked in retaliation, not taking such underhanded tactics all that nicely. It was okay when he was the one tricking other people into doing what he wanted; it was not okay when someone tried to force him into participating in something he had already refused. If Todoroki had already thought of him as petty and stubborn, then Bakugou was about to prove to him how truly petty and stubborn he could be when in a pissy mood. “You have five seconds to get your stuff, or else I’m gonna make you regret having forced me to come inside. You don’t wanna lose your precious security deposit, do you? Then get-”

“I’m willing to take the risk,” Todoroki had no problem with cutting off Bakugou at the same time he leisurely reached out to him and picked him up like he would a little kid. Since he mostly grabbed him by tightly securing his legs against his torso with his arms, with Bakugou’s upper body hanging over his shoulder like a piece of clothing in a drying rack, Todoroki had disabled the use of his legs and feet to nearly zero. He couldn’t do much about his arms and hands, though…

“Argh, why are you always like this!? Are you making fun of me or something!?” roared and raged Bakugou, getting smoothly transported deeper into Todoroki’s apartment despite all of his complaints. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself just because you’re just a tiny little bit taller than me, you asshole! There are some deadly consequences to anyone who dares to demean me like this! You’re about to find out why I’m always getting headhunted by villains!”

“I wouldn’t have to go through all of this trouble if you’d just cooperate with simple requests,” sighed Todoroki, calmly walking up to his kitchen counter, where he had left the car keys and wallet. Even with all of Bakugou’s thrashing and raging about, he managed to hold his legs in place with just one arm while he used his other hand to grab his things and put them in his pockets.

“I also wouldn’t have to come up with all of these threats if you’d just take my ‘no’ as an answer!” hissed Bakugou, shoving his elbow right in the middle of Todoroki’s back. That had a bit of an impact, since Todoroki staggered a bit, but only because his sharp rebuke had been so effective against him.

“No, but I was just…………” After one tired sigh, Todoroki promptly turned around and returned to the entrance area, where he carefully put Bakugou down in the exact same spot where he had picked him up. “I’m sorry, I won’t do that again…”

“Hmph!” That haughty scoff was the only thing Bakugou said, accompanied by him turning his head to the side, rather than continuing to glare at Todoroki’s expressionless sad puppy face. The usual silence between the two of them returned, only that this time it was the uncomfortable type. Bakugou wasn’t even being the unreasonable one here (or at the very least, he didn’t think he was), and yet he was being made to feel like the bad guy by Todoroki’s stupid expressionless mug. The piling up of frustration was too much for him to deal with. He didn’t have to think twice before he kicked Todoroki in the shin - a real kick, not just a light tap. “That’s the cost of picking me up like a fuckin’ kid! Don’t think our apartment is the only thing I’m going to enforce a fairness clause on! Understood!?”

“Okay,” said Todoroki, his whole demeanour lighting up instantly - even though it wasn’t all that visible due to his unmovable, stone-like facial muscles. As he put his shoes back on, he mumbled to himself, Arguments are solved with rock, paper, scissors, picking up costs a kick, and doing something that annoys him means I get my cheeks pinched and stretched… I think those are all the rules I need to remember? Yeah, this will be easy. “Let’s go?”

“...Hmph…” Bakugou ended up resorting to one more moody scoff as his reply. This goodie-two-shoes side of Todoroki had always rubbed him the wrong way, but it also sounded stupid to complain about it when he was obediently doing as told and trying to work things out with Bakugou. On the other hand, continuing to bicker with him was a total waste of time, so it was preferable when Todoroki was this quick at folding.

“I know you’re not in the best of moods today, but try to hold back a bit until we reach our car, okay?” requested Todoroki as soon as they boarded the elevator a second time, this time with the ground floor as their goal. “They might be annoying, but those reporters are just doing their job. For the most part, I guess…”

“I know that. You think I haven’t been dealing with them for years now?” grumbled Bakugou, his brows slightly creased with a frown. “Besides, they will get tired of it soon enough. No matter how thirsty they are for exclusive news and sticking their noses where they aren’t concerned, they are total weaklings. Most won’t last more than 24 hours without good results.”

“So you think they’ll start giving up on going after us and will switch to easier targets?” asked Todoroki, interpreting Bakugou’s words according to his personal experience on this topic. Yes, the journalists and reporters usually were fast at giving up after a few hours of no concrete results. The paparazzi, on the other hand, could relentlessly pursue whatever scoop they were after for weeks on end. They also didn’t shy away from jumping to conclusions without properly doing some research on it, hence Todoroki’s previous false scandals.

“Yeah, most of those pests have no patience or endurance. Today is the worst day,” said Bakugou with a quick shrug of his shoulders. “Of course, there are a couple of things we can do to make that process faster, hehehe.”

“...Who are you going to throw under the bus this time?” sighed Todoroki, already guessing what was about to come just by seeing the evil glint in Bakugou’s crimson eyes. At the very least, he knew he wasn’t going to be the sacrificial victim this time, as they needed to stick together to get their shopping done.

“I’m about to give a whole new meaning to ‘killing two birds with one stone’,” announced Bakugou, the evil glint finally reaching his lips with one awfully villainous smirk. “Nah, make that several birds with one stone. You can stop bitching at me about my bad mood, cuz I’m about to vent at least half of my frustration and get in a real good mood.”

“............” For his own safety, Todoroki deemed that now was a good time for him to shut up and let Bakugou run wild. He’d only interfere if he thought that Bakugou was about to go too far, but since he seemed to be moving according to a proper plan, he probably could just sit back and watch the terrifying show.

The elevator trip ended just like that, with Todoroki acting as a silent spectator while Bakugou concluded the warm-up phase. Once they reached the entrance hallway of the ground floor, the first thing their eyes gravitated towards was the crowd right in front of the front door. There were fewer people there compared to when they first passed by while in their car, but there were still enough of them to be a total nuisance.

“Let’s get these brainless morons out of the way,” snickered Bakugou, heading straight towards that troublesome ‘battlefield’. The moment he opened the front door, his ears were assaulted by a cacophony of questions and the clicking sounds of cameras flashing. It was nothing out of the ordinary for those working in the pro hero field for a few years now. The first thing out of his mouth made a few of them back away a couple of steps. “You’re in the way. Do your damn jobs in a way that doesn’t inconvenience the rest of us trying to go about our day as usual.”

“Would you be willing to answer a few questions?” asked a gutsy reporter who wasn’t intimidated by Bakugou’s ‘go away, leave me alone’ aura. “Everyone is dying to hear a bit more about your relationship!”

“I already said I would only answer questions during the press conference, didn’t I?” said Bakugou, his glaring eyes immediately pinpointing the idiot who dared to speak first. The frown on his face slowly changed into a knowing smirk, the intensity of which made a couple of reporters gulp down the hard lump forming in their claustrophobic throats. “I’ve fulfilled my weekly quota of humouring the masses, but aren’t there plenty of other people you can go after? If you rush now, you’ll be able to catch Endeavor just as he’s leaving his hero agency. Since he wasn’t a part of the press conference due to some… personal disagreements, I’m sure he won’t say no to using his free time in the afternoon to answer a couple of your questions. Then again, you already know how he is. Better hurry up, or you’ll miss your small chance to hear the great takes of the father of the groom.”

…I’m so glad I’m married to him instead of being his enemy, Todoroki deadpanned to his own buttons, not all that surprised at how expertly his ‘husband’ managed to screw over his father. With just a couple of sentences, he got a few reporters and paparazzi to detach from the crowd and run as fast as possible to their vehicles. Needless to say, they were doing exactly as told and rushing to Endeavor’s hero agency at full speed, hopeful to get that scoop before anyone else.

“Ah, but if you think Endeavor is too big and mean for you to deal with, why don’t you try… Hmm, Chargebolt or Cellophane, for example?” suggested Bakugou, doing his best to keep an evil cackle from escaping his vocal cords. “They’ve been a great help these past few years in keeping our relationship a secret at our request. I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to talk about it now that we’ve come out in the open. Oh, and don’t forget to pester Deku, too. Ask him about his plans for the future. I’d hate it if I were to hoard all of your attention when he and Uravity would be an even better source of news, since they’ve been publicly dating right from the start. Their wedding would be a whole lot more interesting than ours, don’t you think?”

…Yeah, we probably should avoid turning on the TV for the rest of the week, sighed Todoroki in the back of his mind, silently observing as the crowd once again split into several groups, losing more than a third of its initial size in the process. Bakugou had truly come up with a way to use up all of the pawns he had at his disposal in the most convenient but sadistic way possible. He had never thought that the mass media could be weaponised against someone like this, but of course such a tactic was just a regular occurrence whenever Bakugou was in a petty, vengeful mood. Still, he was telling Kirishima to keep Kaminari under control, but now he’s telling the reporters and paparazzi to go interview him? Isn’t that pretty counterproductive?

Since Todoroki wasn’t quite sure what exactly Bakugou was trying to accomplish by involving their former classmates in this petty payback, he simply observed their conversation from right next to him. It was easy to keep things under control when Bakugou was the only one talking, but it was clear that pretty much every single reporter and paparazzi wanted to bombard them with question after question. How would he get rid of the remaining ⅔ of the crowd? Todoroki could barely wait to find out.

“I know you said you kept it a secret because it’s none of anyone’s business, but is that really the truth?” asked a paparazzi with a bold, loud voice shortly after Bakugou was done dragging a few more of their acquaintances into the conversation (which Todoroki could only guess where the people who had been participating in the group chat’s discussion). “I wouldn’t say you’re the type of person who keeps a part of himself hidden away for this long. I mean, it must be super inconvenient to secretly date someone when you’re constantly getting followed by us, right?”

“Heck yeah, you guys are inconvenient as hell,” snorted Bakugou, facing the obnoxiously straightforward man head-on. He took a half-step to the side, until his body was bumping against Todoroki’s. “But neither of us is very fond of sharing, you see? Our time together is for us and us only. Which is why you guys are seriously starting to piss me off with all of this crap. Don’t you have better stuff to do with your time? I guess all of you must be a bunch of jealous, desperate virgins, if you’re that interested in bothering a newlywed couple during their honeymoon instead of going out on dates yourselves or spending time with your partner. How sad…”

“Bakugou, we need to go, or we won’t be able to take our time selecting the right bed,” said Todoroki, grabbing Bakugou’s hand and lightly tugging it to catch his attention. This was the right time for him to intervene and end this one-sided word massacre, or else Bakugou would gain a few more enemies in the press world.

“Are you gonna continue following us, or are you starting to get sick of us rubbing our relationship on your lonely faces?” asked Bakugou, throwing one last smirk at the speechless crowd before he started walking away together with Todoroki. While some would definitely raise the white flag and go look for a news article on this scandal somewhere else, Bakugou was sure there were still some stubborn ‘professional stalkers’ who would continue following them around. That was more than fine, so long as they kept their distance and didn’t bother them too much. Once they were at a considerable distance from the bustling crowd, the smirk on his lips immediately turned into a frown. “Ugh, I’m so sick of them. Dealing with those annoyances is truly the worst part of our job…”

“Only because you’re so antagonistic toward them,” chuckled Todoroki, adjusting his hold to his fake husband’s hand so they could more comfortably walk side-by-side. “If you treated them a bit more nicely, I’m sure the more stubborn ones wouldn’t feel like making following you around and finding all of your ‘dark secrets’ their life mission.”

“I can’t fake sympathy like you goodie-two-shoes do,” snorted Bakugou with a dismissive roll of his eyes. “I’m gonna give it to them straight, whether they like it or not. I mean, it’s their fault for being the nuisance that they are. The few who know how to behave and don’t get in the way are the ones I show the bare minimum of respect for and actually talk with when needed. Everyone else can fuck off for all I care.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly why,” said Todoroki, the shadow of a smile surfacing on his lips. It was exactly this straightforward attitude that refused to mince words or be kind for the sake of being kind that made Bakugou the perfect ‘partner-in-crime’. No one else fit the role of his fake spouse. Todoroki wouldn’t accept or even entertain the thought of being with someone else like this. It had to be Bakugou, that he was sure of. Todoroki was extremely thankful that Bakugou had accepted his proposal for this ‘mission’, so he would try his best to make it the kind of perfect success that his partner always aimed for. “By the way, are you sure it’s okay to send them Kaminari’s and everyone else’s way? Weren’t you worried about them accidentally saying the wrong thing?”

“Yeah, which is why I’m going to give them a little helping hand with it,” Bakugou declared, already grabbing his smartphone with his free hand. He smoothly unlocked the screen, opened the group chat app and quickly typed a message with just one hand. He then turned the screen to Todoroki, a devilish smirk on his face. “This should be good enough of a ‘lesson’, don’t you think?”

“............” Once Todoroki read the message Bakugou had sent to their group chat, a shudder crawled up his spine. His heterochromatic eyes quickly returned to the haughty look of satisfaction on Bakugou’s face, not a single drop of hesitation or leniency in sight. “You’re frightening…”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” chuckled Bakugou, locking the smartphone’s screen and putting it back in his pocket.

“I’m so lucky I’m the one who married you. I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes…” sighed Todoroki, sending a few silent prayers to their former classmates. If Bakugou was truly a god, like that villain group said he is, then the world was doomed to fall into chaos or rise into a utopia according to the ever-changing whims of this man alone.

“Yeah, yeah. Keep those compliments coming. It won’t score you any brownie points, but at least it will feed my current good mood,” snorted Bakugou, gladly accepting Todoroki’s expressionless voice as a tribute being offered to his good name.

“I’m just telling it as it is,” said Todoroki, squeezing Bakugou’s hand a bit more tightly. “I really am grateful that you accepted my proposal, even though this is such a crazy plan. Thank you, Bakugou. If I do something wrong, feel free to also give it to me straight. I’m not used to being married, so I’m sure I’ll make some mistakes now and then. Despite that, I hope you can forgive me like you did just now and continue working together with me right until the end.”

“H-Hmph, as if I’m used to it either…” grumbled Bakugou, promptly turning his head in the opposite direction.

“I guess we’ll just have to learn as we go,” chuckled Todoroki, that same soft smile back for round number two. He really felt like giving a little pinch to Bakugou’s bright red earlobes, but he would behave himself while they were out in public and make sure to keep his hands to himself, or else they’d end up swarmed by overenthusiastic reporters and paparazzi once again.