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Chapter Text

"You know when I said you could come to me with questions, I didn't expect-"

"It helped to write it out." Renarin chewed his lip. Writing may not be seen as a masculine activity, but both he and Drehy were courting other men. Drehy was married now. Renarin had been at the wedding (it was beautiful, tasteful), but Drehy still had some ideas about gender roles that were unfortunately still common for the Alethi. In his hands were a list of questions he had about... that. Sexual questions.

The only sex talk he had was with an ardent when he was 13, and wouldn't you know, talking to a celibate monk about how one day he'd be with a woman and have babies was proving to be very...

Incorrect.

"Things are going well with Rlain then?" Drehy grinned. Renarin caught him just before it was time to eat Bridge Four's daily stew, figuring before eating was the perfect time to be alone since neither of them were helping with prep and both of them were going to assist with cleaning up.

"We're courting now. Officially." Renarin held his papers to his chest, unable to help smiling a little. Saying it out loud was still so exhilarating, even if he didn't have many opportunities to do so.

"Congratulations lad!" Drehy was about to hug Renarin, but then remembered Renarin wanted people to ask permission before touching. He paused, holding open his arms, and Renarin leaned forward into them slowly. He knew the older man would understand how scary it was sometimes telling new people, even people who were different in the same way.

The paper crumpled between them, Renarin pulled back before he lost his nerve.

"These questions are embarrassing, I wasn't sure how to word a lot of what I thought, there isn't really anyone else who-"

"Hey, I get it." Drehy had his hands still on Renarin's arms, giving a light squeeze before letting him withdraw fully, "I'm glad you came. Really."

"Really?"

"Really really. I had to figure out a lot on my own with partners who usually had more experience than I did. Then I was the one with more experience than most of my partners." He moved to sit down on one of the benches, a leg on either side of the stone, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "Ask your questions."

Renarin sat down, though kept both his legs on one side of the bench as he looked down at his papers. It seemed silly now, but his chest was tightening. Usually a boy, if he didn't have this sort of information, could go to his father and ask. Renarin couldn't. Even if Dalinar had had experience in this area, he knew deep down he would never have breathed a word of this to him. It was odd, having trust in a man more than he would have his own father.

"So... assume I know nothing." Renarin was blushing so deeply he could feel heat down his neck and over the top of his chest.

"Storms! Okay. Got it." Drehy took a deep breath. This was going to last at least through dinner.
---

"Here, take this." Drehy dried off his hands before reaching into his jacket, handing Renarin a small bottle. They were cleaning dishes together, Renarin not meeting the man's eyes at all for more than one reason. He was happy he had the soapy water to keep his hands busy, even if the feeling of wet food made him want to claw his skin off.

"I couldn't possibly-"

Drehy put the bottle in Renarin's hands, "Trust me. It's a rite of passage. Don't use it sparingly. The more you use, the better. Especially when you're first starting out. Just... go slow. It's not a race."

"Thank you." Renarin hid the bottle in his own jacket, not even wanting to look at it. He had an idea of what was in the bottle. He was sure the blush was never going to leave his face.

The conversation had been enlightening, but didn't answer everything. As 'expert' as the man was, he had never been with a Singer. Renarin still didn't have answers to half his questions, but he certainly had new ones.

"I can finish up here if you'd like. Dru is working late so I don't have anywhere to be." Renarin was so tempted to take the man up on the offer, but he was Bridge Four, everyone took their turn helping out, even now.

"I need to work with my hands a little." Renarin said quietly, jumping slightly when Drehy patted his shoulder.
---

Renarin knocked on Rlain's bedroom door, unsure if the man was even inside.

Rlain opened the door. He had a towel around his shoulders and Renarin's eyes focused directly on his bare, carapaced chest.

It was... a good chest.

"Renarin?" The tone Rlain attuned one sounding confused.

"Hi." Renarin was still looking directly at Rlain's chest, eyes flicking from his neck, to armored shoulders, to his stomach, to... lower.

Storms, that was interesting.

"Hi." Rlain leaned against his door frame playfully, poking a hip out. The carapace on Rlain's stomach seemed to point downwards, Renarin almost reached out and put his hand on the smooth-looking armor. He resisted, it was impolite to touch people without asking, even if you were courting.

Renarin finally let his eyes go to Rlain's face, flushing at the fact it took him so long to do so, "I just wanted to come talk with you."

"Ah." Rlain shifted to the side, gesturing to his bedroom with one hand, "Come in then."

Renarin walked into Rlain's room, trying not to note that it was smaller than his own, and somehow less lived-in. The bed was made military style, blankets tucked into the corners, nothing out of place. He had few personal furnishings, a desk and chair in a corner, a window looking over the mountains.

"Usually we spend the night in my room, you have... a better view."

"You didn't come to talk about the view." Rlain noted.

"No, I didn't."

Renarin heard the lock click on the door. He spun, and seeing the Singer's lips upturned lost him the last of his willpower. He was over by Rlain in a three quick strides, backing the malen against the door as he grabbed his face and kissed him. Rlain melted into the kiss, reaching up his own hands to Renarin's shoulders. Renarin let his hands go from Rlain's jaw to his chest, feeling the vibration as Rlain attuned Amusement. Renarin pulled back reluctantly.

"I really did come here to talk and not just kiss your face off." Renarin panted.

"I wasn't complaining." Rlain pressed a kiss into Renarin's hair, then his temple.

"It's going to be a serious conversation."

Rlain froze with his lips just off Renarin's skin, attuning Consideration. "Okay."

Renarin hummed Peace, pressing Rlain's hand against his neck so he could feel it, "Serious but not bad."

Rlain smiled, matching Renarin's tone, visibly relaxing muscles Renarin hadn't realized had tensed. "Usually I am the one who attunes Peace." He traced his thumb along the side of Renarin's neck and Renarin had to close his eyes and remember why he was here before his legs gave out. Or worse.

"I talked to Drehy about sex between men."

Rlain's hand dropped.

"Renarin..." Rlain's tone was something new. A warning sound?

"I know that you don't mate when you're not in mateform. I know we talked about it." Renarin's chest felt tight again, "And he said so many things, so much isn't even going to apply to us, but I had so many questions. I don't know what I'm doing and I don't want to mess up."

Rlain's arms were around Renarin then, squeezing him against his hard carapace. It probably wouldn't be as comforting to anyone else, but Rlain's arms were so strong and Renarin felt so safe. "I'm sorry."

Sorry?

"You don't need to be sorry, I'm the one freaking out." Renarin could laugh from shock. What did Rlain have to be sorry about? He was perfect.

"That I'm not in mateform."

Oh. Oh storms.

"I-I don't mind that. That's not why I-" This was going wrong again, "I don't care what form you're in, I just want to be intimate with you."

Rlain pulled back, attuning another Rhythm Renarin didn't know. It didn't sound good.

"Intimate?"

Renarin chewed his lip, "I think there are ways to be intimate without sex. Or ways to have sex without..." He took one of Rlain's hand in both his own, needing something to hold onto, "I don't know how to go about asking for what I want, I don't really even know what I want. Drehy was kind, but the type of stuff he was talking about isn't something I think I'm ready for yet. He seemed to assume that the only way to do proper sex with two men was with penetration, and before that there seems to be some sort of cleaning that needs to be done because-" He blushed brightly, "anyway... I-I trust you. I trust you with my body. I know you wouldn't hurt me, I know we'd talk things through if things get confusing."

Rlain turned his hand in Renarin's, taking a deep breath while Renarin seemed to have paused.

"I told you about the last time I was in mateform. I know what it's like to be... confused."

Renarin lifted up Rlain's hand slowly, pressing his lips to the sharp knuckles.

"We can be confused together." Renarin said softly, "it'll be different than the last time you were in mateform."

"How so?" Rlain didn't sound convinced.

"Because I'll be there. Fully consenting to everything."

Rlain looked up at Renarin, who's face was bright red and purposefully and pointedly only looking at their hands.

"Well... what else did Drehy say?" Rlain sighed. In for a chip, in for a broam he supposed.

"He called me a... 'bottom'." Renarin pouted.

"Bottom of what?" Rlain cocked his head, attuning Confusion.

"That I would take on the female role of sex." Renarin moved to cover his face again with his hands.

"But... you're a male." Confusion continued.

"Storms!" He'd have to have this conversation again, Rlain didn't know anymore about this than he had this morning. "Okay." He shifted on the bed, forgetting that Rlain wasn't wearing a shirt again and quickly turning back around, "Actually, I can't talk about this while you're partially clothed. Can you put on a shirt?"

The tone shifted immediately to Amusement.

"I can hear the pain in your voice from asking." Rlain teased, but stood while Renarin politely did not watch him re-dress.

"Believe me, it's very hard." Renarin readied himself to jump from the tower from the embarrassment, but it appeared Rlain missed the double entendre.

"You can look at me once more, Renarin. I will cease distracting you with my body."

Renarin turned to face him once more with a shy smile, glad the tone shifted to something a little more playful.

"Apparently even when there are two men, one takes on the role of the one who 'gets penetrated' and one who does the 'penetrating'. He called it 'bottoming' when you take it." Renarin explained.

"Take... 'it'."

This was so embarrassing.

"Uhm... human men have anal sex."

Rlain paused, attuning a curious sounding tone, "That sounds uncomfortable."

"How would you have done it in mateform?" Renarin regretted the question as soon as it left his mouth.

"I... didn't think that far ahead. I didn't even know I was interested in males until I was in the form."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"It's alright." Rlain attuned something new. It sounded sad.

"I... didn't realize I was interested in men until I started courting women." Renarin said softly, looking up at the Listener, who had been leaning against his table. "And until I met you, I didn't realize how strongly I would want you."

Rlain crossed the room again, taking Renarin's cheeks gently in his hands, leaning down and kissing him softly. It took Renarin's breath away how sweet and soft it was.

"And now we're courting." Rlain said to Love.

"And now we're courting." Renarin echoed, meeting the Singer's eyes.

"So..." Rlain traced his thumbs over Renarin's cheek, "bottoming?"

Renarin blushed, pulling his head back so he could hide his face in his hands. "Just because you're larger than I am, doesn't mean I intend to take on a specific role. I don't even know if that would feel good. Apparently it does, because people keep doing it."

"Specifically Drehy, apparently."

They both paused, imagining the older man's ass.

"He gave me lubricant. Said I should we should experiment."

"Oh?" Rlain grinned, watching as Renarin took on a new shade of red.

"I-I don't plan on doing so! Well... maybe later, b-but-" Rlain's grin got bigger and more wicked, "H-Hey, you could be just as capable of trying it as me!"

"I didn't say I wouldn't." Rlain attuned amusement, "you have been designated."

"I un-designate!"

"Is that a word?"

"It is now!" Renarin huffed, reaching into his jacket and pulling out the bottle, "This is now specifically for you only."

"I will treasure your lubricant." Rlain picked up the bottle, looking it over as Renarin felt Roshar swallow him whole from the levels of embarrassment.

"I... actually would like that back. He gave it to me."

Rlain handed him back the bottle, Renarin no longer meeting his eyes as he took it.

"There's nothing wrong with experimentation. It probably would be beneficial to learn what you like before you experience it with a partner."

"It's embarrassing that you know about it." Renarin put the bottle back into his jacket, it was hard not to notice the lump now that they both knew it was there.

"I have been under the impression that you have been satisfying yourself as often as you felt the need."

Renarin nearly choked from shock, "A-And how often do you think that has been?"

"Probably every night I don't sleep in your room, given how often I leave you flustered."

"You!" Renarin stood up, but had to sit back down to hide what the teasing and talk of sex was doing to him. "I-I'll have you know that typical Vorin sensibilities frowns on self-... self-"

"Self-pleasure?"

"Storms Rlain!"

Rlain sat down next to Renarin, this was another sort of thing he didn't understand about humans. If it were something as natural as self-soothing, especially with the given health benefits, why was it such a taboo?

"You say you want to be intimate, but swear when I tease you about it?" That was Amusement and Renarin knew it.

"It's different."

"Not especially."

Rlain took Renarin's hand, it would have been his safehand if he were a woman, lifting it to his lips.

"I do want to be intimate. Without sex. I just want... to be close to you." Renarin leaned forward into Rlain's shoulder, kissing the fabric and the carapace underneath.

"Explain how. Please."

Renarin took a deep breath, leaning back and meeting Rlain's eyes, even though it was embarrassing. Even if it felt like Damnation was immolating under his skin.

"I want to make love with you." Renarin said quietly.

Rlain paused, then attuned Love, pressing a kiss into Renarin's palm, "you'll have to explain how that's different from sex."

"Just... intimate. Touching. Kissing. I want you to know me. All of me. All of my body and all of my heart. And I want to know you."

"Renarin... how is that different than what we've been doing, then?" Rlain met Renarin's eyes again. Renarin's mouth went dry. How was it different, really? If he was serious about it not being about sex, then how was lovemaking any different?

"I think the intention needs to be there." Renarin swallowed, "Can I... sleep with you tonight? In your arms?"

Rlain smiled, leaning in and kissing Renarin again, "If you can figure out how to do so without getting hurt, I would love to sleep next to you. And... continue this conversation."

"You could never hurt me." Renarin spoke softly against Rlain's lips, "I trust you."

"And I you." Rlain continued humming Love, "but I meant physically hurting you. My spikes can be uncomfortable to human skin."

"I like how they feel." Renarin giggled, reaching up and running a finger across a spike on Rlain's shoulder, watching the taller malen shake softly as he did, "Did that... feel good?"

"It's an odd sensation being touched so lightly." Rlain admitted, "like when I touch you and you get chickenflesh, but under the carapace."

"You get chickenflesh too?" That was an interesting bit of information.

"Renarin every time you speak to me in a Rhythm gives me chickenflesh." Rlain smiled in a very small way that made Renarin blush.

"That's the sort of thing I want to know." Renarin said, "I want to know how you like being touched, what's comfortable and what's too much? I don't want to be alone in my room 'figuring myself out' when all I can think about is how good it feels when you touch me with your fingertips."

Rlain ran his nail slowly along Renarin's index finger, chickenflesh immediately popping up all over Renarin's skin. "Such a gentle touch always elicits a strong response from you."

"My skin is sensitive. That's one of the reasons I don't like people touching me. It can get to be... too much. Especially when I'm not expecting it."

"That's the sort of thing I want to know about you." Rlain whispered, echoing Renarin's words back to him.

"I like when you touch me." Renarin whispered.

"Where?"

"Everywhere."

"I haven't touched you everywhere yet."

"...Yet."

Renarin reached up, putting both hands on Rlain's chest as he kissed him once more. Rlain's hands found black and gold hair, threading through and holding on as Renarin pushed him back gently. They laid down, Renarin on top of the Singer, his hands going to Rlain's stomach, then his sides. The hard carapace protecting his ribs in ridges causing Rlain to jump slightly when touched.

"Okay?"

"Ticklish." Rlain admitted, attuning something new. Something quick and exciting. "Do not tickle me or I will kick you out of my room."

"Okay." Renarin giggled, shifting his hands to Rlain's hips instead. Renarin pulled back from Rlain's mouth, kissing along his jaw, the beard hairs tickling his bare face. "Is this okay?"

"Yes." Rlain breathed out, tilting his head back. Renarin kissed down Rlain's neck, experimentally nipping and garnering a fantastic new sound. "Renarin!" Rlain gasped, the sound unfortunately hitting Renarin's core and causing a fire to spark in his veins. Rlain pulled Renarin's lips back to his own. The kiss was gentle, trying to modulate the tone of the interaction as much as the Rhythms attuned feelings.

Renarin's fingertips found the bottom of Rlain's shirt, and he pulled back just enough to look Rlain in the eyes once more, "Can I.. take this back off?"

"You made such a big deal about me putting it back on." Rlain attuned Amusement. Renarin smiled sheepishly.

"I didn't expect this to be happening."

"Nothing is happening yet." Rlain said, releasing Renarin's hair, but he did sit up, pulling off his shirt once more. Renarin consumed his carapace hungrily with his eyes, reaching up and touching the chestplate just as gently as Rlain had run his fingers over Renarin's hand. There were several spikes that Renarin was sure would pierce his skin if he put enough pressure on them, and he remembered Rlain's words about finding a comfortable way to sleep in his bed with him.

Well Renarin would just have to be the pillow part then. He didn't mind the thought of Rlain's head on his chest, nothing a little stormlight couldn't fix if the skullplate moved around too much and impaled him. He was willing to sacrifice for love.

And he did love Rlain. He knew it from his head to his feet, there wasn't an axon in his body that didn't agree.

Rlain's fingers found the buttons of Renarin's jacket, sitting up to undo them slowly as Renarin attempted to get his heart to stop racing so fast. He kissed over Rlain's cheek and up to his ear, taking the lobe into his mouth and biting down gently.

Rlain's hips bucked.

That was fascinating.

"What on Roshar...?"

"Sorry, I... read that somewhere, I think."

"Perhaps I should find where you're reading all these salacious things and read with you."

Renarin giggled, his jacket soon hitting Rlain's bed. Rlain's hand found it's way to Renarin's hip, pulling him close to shift their positions. Rlain leaned Renarin back into the bed, Renarin yelping as he laid down on top of the bottle of oil.

"I should have never taken this." Renarin sat back up, carefully putting his jacket on the floor to not crack the bottle, flushing as he realized that it was only fair if he took off his shirt too.

Why did that seem so scary all of a sudden?

Rlain hummed to Peace, Renarin humming as well as he leaned in to kiss Rlain once more gently.

"Perhaps we could find a use for it." Rlain whispered against his mouth. Renarin squeaked.

"P-Perhaps."

"But not tonight."

Renarin breathed out, both disappointed and relieved. Rlain cocked his head, "I-I'm just still nervous."

"We don't have to do anything else." Rlain said quietly, moving his hands back up to Renarin's chest over his shirt, "If you can keep your hands to yourself, that is." He attuned Amusement.

"Me?" Renarin leaned back in, brushing their lips together, "You're the one on top of me now."

"Barely. We are both sitting up."

"Yes but I'm sitting up with you ready to be on top of me."

"Is that what I'm doing?"

"I-I don't mind if you take my shirt off. I'm just nervous."

Rlain paused, attuning Consideration.

"Nervous... good?" He asked curiously.

"Nervous great, really. Nervous, excited."

"You humans." Rlain laughed breathily, pulling up Renarin's shirt. Renarin pulled it off over his head. This was officially as far as they'd ever gotten making out. He really was nervous excited.

"Are you not.. nervous?" Renarin asked, but found he was too busy gasping with excitement as Rlain kissed along his jaw, then his neck.

"I am.. Curious." Rlain whispered, biting down as gently as he could.

Renarin cried out loudly, Rlain pulling back immediately.

"G-Good sound, I promise!" Renarin was flushed down to his shoulders, putting a hand over where Rlain's mouth had just been to try and recreate the feeling.

"You're much more vocal today than usual." Rlain was humming slow, ramping up. Was that.. Excitement? Storms Renarin hoped so.

"It's been a long day."

"Do you want to stop?"

Renarin shook his head, putting a hand over Rlain's and pulling it back to his lips. It would be his safehand.

"I-I like this. I don't know how much more I can take, but I.. really really like it."

Rlain smiled, leaning in, but instead of kissing Renarin on the mouth, pressed a kiss to his collarbone. Where Rlain's chestplate covered, Renarin's bones stuck out sharply on his frame. Renarin reached up and ran his fingers over his smooth skullplate, hoping to find something to hold onto but finding no purchase. He tried to focus on anything but the feeling of his lips, but it was so hard. Rlain looked at Renarin's nipple curiously, then flicked his tongue over the nub. Renarin yelped in surprise, Rlain pulling back.

"Sorry."

"Not a bad sound." Renarin squeaked, trying to hum Peace but finding his voice was shaking, "More exciting."

The squeak was even louder when Rlain tried with his thumbnail. A moan escaped Renarin, pulled from his very soul in a shocking way.

"Still exciting?" Rlain asked, his tone something deep and primal.

"Still exciting." Renarin whispered, breathing in and out quickly. "Your nails are very sharp."

"It doesn't hurt though, right?"

Renarin shook his head, trying to find a way to explain.

"It's intense. Like a single point. Focused there."

Rlain kissed him again, continuing to be gentle with his skin. Renarin eventually laid down, Rlain resting his elbows on either side of Renarin's head so he didn't put any weight on him. He pulled back after a few moments, looking deeply into Renarin's eyes.

"Hi." Renarin whispered, and Rlain attuned Amusement.

"Hello." he whispered back, a smile stretching across his face wider than the Shattered Plains.

"I love you." Renarin whispered. Then blinked. He hadn't mean to say it out loud. He opened his mouth to take it back, sitting back up, but somehow Rlain smiled even wider, leaning down to kiss him deeply. "R-Rlain... I-"

"I love you as well, Renarin." Rlain whispered, his hands moving to cup his face in a soft, loving embrace.

"O-oh." Renarin was smiling too, and crying. Why was he crying? Rlain wiped his tears away with his thumbs.

"You beautiful man." Was Rlain crying too? Storms. Rlain loved him? Rlain loved him!

"I love you." Renarin repeated, kissing Rlain again.

"I love you." Rlain peppered kisses all over Renarin's face, not stopping until Renarin laughed in relief.

"You're going to start leaving marks." Renarin pointed out, holding Rlain steady by his face for just a moment, then pressing his lips back to the Singer.

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't a complaint. It was an observation." Renarin moved to their noses brushed softly, whispering, "I-I wouldn't mind if there were marks. From this."

That got a very interesting hum out of Rlain.

"I hasn't even considered-"

"I think I considered enough for the both of us." Renarin admitted, blushing as he leaned into whisper, "I-I think about it. After you leave my room. I always hope you've left me kiss swollen on my lips so everyone knows I'm yours."

Renarin was pretty sure if Rlain could blush, he would be doing so.

"You'd accept a mark from me? Truly?"

Renarin cocked his head, feeling like this had more implications than he realized it would.

"I don't know. There's a difference between thinking about something in a moment of... interest and it actually happening. But I always think about the teasing. Being teased about being kiss-marked is different than being teased because you're strange."

Rlain reached up, rubbing his thumb along the hollow of Renarin's neck, leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss there.

"There are certain things I think have an overlap between our cultures. In mateform we don't have carapace like I do now. Our skin is... markable."

Oh storms.

"Would you accept a mark from me if you were in mateform?" Renarin asked before his brain could catch up with his member.

Rlain pulled back, Renarin was pretty sure that Rhythm was Surprise. Or maybe secret arouse. Asexual Arousal tone. Mental arousal for a different form.

"I... I think I would, Renarin." A small smile appeared on his lips, and his tone shifted back to something teasing and playful, "Usually it's done by the male. After his partner has been carried off."

"Are you implying something, Rlain?" Renarin attempted a reprimanding tone, but his heart wasn't in it.

"Something about bottoms." Rlain teased.

"I don't think I'm one of those."

"Next time I'm in mateform, we can both find out."

Renarin blushed to his toes. The idea of penetrative sex was still terrifying. Especially with a man.

"P-Promise?"

"Oh Renarin," Rlain laughed huskily, leaning in and almost pressing their lips together again, "I have been intending to be in mateform with you since we began courting."

Renarin squeaked.

"When why have you been pushing back so hard about it?" Renarin bit his lip, furrowing his brows.

"Because I don't think either of us are ready for learning about other species genitals."

Either of us?

"Y-You don't know about mine?" Renarin was pretty sure it would be incredibly easy to learn, given that his were trying to join the conversation every single time they spoke for more than a few minutes.

"Just because I'm around humans all the time here doesn't mean I know what's happening under your clothes." Rlain hummed to Consolation, "You're the only one I would even be halfway interested in."

Renarin swallowed, shoulders beginning to shake at the idea. He had asked Drehy with a base understanding of his own anatomy, he hadn't even considered that Rlain hadn't even had that much.

"Do you want to see me naked?"

Renarin couldn't look at Rlain, who had stopped humming all together. What sort of a sign was that? He couldn't tell tones without hearing and he couldn't see the look on his face without... looking.

He had to look up. Just look up and see what's happening on his face.

Renarin looked up, Rlain's eyes were wide. That told Renarin nothing.

"I-Is that a no?"

After a moment, Curiosity bubbled up from Rlain, then something that sounded like... Tension? He didn't recognize it.

"Do you... want to see me?" Rlain asked quietly, and Renarin bit his lip.

He nodded.

"Okay." Rlain whispered, attuning Determination. Storms, was Rlain as terrified of this as he was? This really was new territory.

Renarin stood up, figuring since he asked, he should be the first to finish disrobing. Especially since there was a piece of his anatomy that was entirely too eager to not be in the conversation anymore. He took off his socks first, figuring that would be the easier place to start. Rlain shifted on the bed, humming another tone to himself. Renarin was back to pretending it was Asexual sexual appreciation to give himself courage, but it was likely Rlain also psyching himself up for being naked for the first time. Rlain looked curiously at Renarin's feet, and Renarin tried to focus on the fact they were probably just as alien as genitals to the Singer. He was just glad he didn't have any bad smells coming from them. He was also glad he'd washed after he finished cleaning up after stew.

"You don't have to if you don't-" Rlain started, but Renarin cut him off.

"I-I want to. It's just... terrifying." He unbuttoned his pants, thinking to give a suggestive wiggle before deciding that that was dumb and letting his pants fall to his ankles. He was also glad he was wearing clean underclothes.

"Renarin-" Rlain gasped, looking down to where Little Renarin was apparently straining to get out. Anticipation. That was the Rhythm.

"I want you to see all of me." Renarin whispered, then before he could think about it to much more, dropped his underclothes. He subconsciously covered himself with his hands for a moment, trying to preserve as much dignity as he could in such a situation, but dropped his hands to his sides, kicking out of his fallen clothes. He had nothing to fiddle with, his fingertips tapping out anxiously at his side.

"Wow." Rlain whispered, tone... Awe? He wasn't sure he knew that one either. Maybe it was just different Curiosity?

"W-What do you think?"

"It's different." Rlain looked like he wanted to reach out and touch, but then thought better of it and asked, "M-May I?"

Renarin wasn't sure he'd ever heard Rlain stutter or miss a beat like that.

"Y-Yes. But... be gentle. It's sensitive." Renarin took a step forward, putting a knee on one side of Rlain's hips, then straddled him fully. Rlain ran his hand down Renarin's stomach, making the muscles there tense before he finally reached where Renarin wanted him. He gasped loudly as Rlain's fingertips ran up the underside of him, shaking so hard he was surprised he stayed up. He put his hand on Rlain's shoulders for balance, panting hard

"It's hot." Rlain whispered, wrapping his hand around the base and holding him.

Renarin felt like he was going to pass out. No one had ever touched him like that. He hardly touched himself like this. Rlain's carapace covered hand felt so cool around him.

"Y-You can move your hand a little-" Renarin started, but Rlain pulled his head back, looking Renarin straight in his eyes.

"Show me." That commanding tone made him twitch hard, but Renarin did as he was told, reaching down and putting his hand around Rlain's, tightening just a fraction before pumping up.

He would later be embarrassed about the sound he made, but he was too lost in the moment to even remember why he should be. Rlain attuned something Renarin would later learn was Praise. Renarin kept his hand over Rlain's, shifting him back up and down a few more times as he shook violently and bucked. He bit his lip, attempting to keep quiet, but Rlain's mouth was there in an instant covering Renarin's lips with his own. Rlain hummed into his mouth while Renarin moaned, already feeling like this was too much.

"S-Stop!" Renarin squeaked, though it was the last thing he wanted. Rlain's hand stilled immediately, and Renarin took in a few shaky breaths, leaning his head onto Rlain's bare shoulder.

"Was something wrong. I can-"

"You almost finished me off and you don't even have your pants off yet." Renarin hissed against his shoulder, his tone much more husky.

Rlain paused, then put both his hands on Renarin's hips.

"My genitals are internal in this form. It won't be much to look at." Rlain said, attuning Anxiety.

"I want to see anyway."

Rlain shifted Renarin so he was laying down, pressing a kiss to his shoulder and earning a drawn out whine. Rlain sat up on his knees, Renarin with half-lidded eyes appreciating the angle of Rlain's stomach carapace again. He didn't have as much fanfare as Renarin did, pressing his pants down and having nothing under. The carapace followed a V pattern all the way up his stomach and seemed to follow it all the way down. Renarin couldn't see between Rlain's legs from here, but he suspected there would be a hole somewhere to dispose of waste. Besides the carapace it was flat and smooth, just as Rlain had said it would be.

Renarin reached out anyway, pressing his fingers to the V pattern and running his fingertips up and down slowly.

"Renarin..." Rlain was attuning Anxiety again. Why?

"Beautiful." Renarin whispered, leaning in and pressing his lips gently to Rlain's in what he hoped was comforting. He hummed the Rhythm of Peace while Rlain attempted to get his pants all the way off.

"It felt good when you touched me, but not in the way you think." Rlain hummed as he pulled back from Renarin's mouth.

"It's okay." He whispered back, putting his hands on Rlain's shoulder and squeezing comfortingly. "I love you."

"I love you." Rlain echoed, pulling back and resting his skullplate on Renarin's shoulder. Renarin shifted until one of Rlain's now bare thighs was between his legs, and one of his legs was between Rlain's. The carapace was smooth on his thighs and Renarin gasped when he was close enough to rub against him. Rlain laid back down on top of Renarin, kissing him softly, then slowly pressing their hips together. Renarin moaned into Rlain's mouth, and Rlain hummed Love. Rlain's hands found their way back into Renarin's hair and Renarin's hand reached curiously to Rlain's backside, pulling him in even closer.

"I-I don't know how much longer I can-" Renarin gasped, unable to keep their lips together anymore. Rlain took the opportunity to kiss his shoulder.

"It's okay." Rlain hummed to Peace.

"I-I don't want to stop."

"Then we won't." That promise made, Renarin lasted a few more slow thrusts before his hips bucked wildly and he came with Rlain's name on his lips, holding his hips as close as they could be to his own without pain. He kept bucking and spilling out between them until he couldn't anymore and he fell back into the bed with a loud gasp. Rlain had been watching curiously, attuning the same. He reached down between them, running his fingertips over the mess Renarin made of his stomach, rubbing his secretions between his fingers curiously.

"This part is similar." He said, then pressed his lips to Renarin's forehead as the man tried to stop his shaking.

"That was... thank you." Renarin reached put, hands on either side of the man's neck to pull him back down into a gentle kiss.

"You're very welcome." He reached up with the hand that hadn't been exploring fluids and ran them through Renarin's hair, finding him sweaty and flushed, "That was... Beautiful."

"This was my first time." Renarin whispered, and Rlain nodded, pressing gentle kisses over his face.

"Mine as well." Rlain said softly to Love, "I'm glad it was with you."

Renarin made a fussy sounding hum, reaching down and running his fingertips over Rlain's hips, "You don't feel that... the orgasm?"

"Not in this form, my love." But he smiled, pressing a kiss on Renarin's nose, "But I suspect you'll like it in mateform, it's quite the sight."

"What can I expect?" His fingers traced lazily against Rlain's side carapace, careful not to tickle him.

"We hold each other down." Rlain whispered into his ear, and Renarin blushed brightly.

"A-And mark?"

"And mark." Rlain nipped at the side of Renarin's neck and the man shook hard.

"I look forward to it then."

Chapter Text

Kissing after an orgasm made Renarin feel like his whole body was tingling. Like the feeling of his limbs being asleep, but in a good way? The places where his skin touched Rlain's skin and carapace felt like breathing in Stormlight. Renarin decided not enough of their skin was touching since Rlain still wasn't resting his full weight on top of him. He arched up into Rlain, pressing their chests together, pulling him closer by his hips.

It was perfection.

"You're cute like this." Rlain hummed to Amusement and Renarin made a small noise. Neither refuting or agreeing, just a low hum. He kissed Rlain again.

"I love you." Renarin said softly against Rlain's lips.

It was too nice, Renarin forgot to be anxious. Forgot he was fully nude and just let himself be in the moment.

"I love you too." Rlain attuned Love, and Renarin attempted to echo him.

They kissed again, the feeling of the Rhythm against his chest making Renarin shudder. It wasn't quick, steady as their beating hearts, and completely in sync with their breathing. Rlain pulled back to gasp, Renarin attempting to recapture his lips, but the press of Rlain's fingertips kept him from doing so.

"Peace, Renarin. I'm not going anywhere." but letting Rlain go felt impossible. This moment was too nice. Too comfortable. Stopping meant he had to remember there was a world outside this bedroom. "I'm just getting a towel to clean you up."

Renarin's eyes flicked down to Rlain's fingers against his lips, remembering they were previously used to examine his-

He slammed back into the moment, feeling his face flush, memories of conversation with Drehy coming back embarrassingly quick.

"I'm curious to know what the first thing on your list is, since you wrote it out and all." Drehy attempted to peek at the paper, but Renarin kept it pressed into his chest, even though the man couldn't read it even if he did see it. It was one of the reasons he'd used the women's script instead of glyphs. It was embarrassing enough having to ask.

"It's stupid now that I think about it." Renarin wanted to cross it out, but he hadn't brought a pen.

"C'mon, I promise I won't laugh. No question is too stupid. We're friends here." Drehy patted his shoulder, the touch making Renarin tense up more than relax.

"It's... 'd-does it taste bad?'"

Drehy looked like he was going to make Renarin repeat himself he'd spoken so low and quiet, but thankfully he didn't.

"You never got curious and tasted your own?" Drehy teased, and Renarin nearly stood up and left the man. He would have if he'd laughed, Drehy promised he wasn't going to laugh.

"I-I-" He looked down at his papers again, trying to figure out if that was a serious question. Was that something people did? Did not doing it make him strange? He hummed a low, anxious sound, then remembered Drehy didn't know the Rhythms.

Rlain pulled his hand back, attuning Consolation, even though Renarin didn't know that one.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking-"

Renarin didn't think. He licked his lips, the taste was bitter and salty, but wasn't awful. Rlain stared at him with wide eyes. Renarin looked back with a shy smile, "I-I was curious." He admitted, "is that strange?"

"Renarin..." Another Rhythm Renarin didn't know. Surprise? Renarin was certainly surprised, and growing more anxious the longer Rlain didn't speak.

"Y-You said it was similar, so I thought; maybe if it felt the same, it might t-tast-" Rlain's eyebrows rose, "-b-but that doesn't really matter! I don't want to stain your towel, though I could wash it for you. I know how to get stains out now." Another question from Drehy answered. Washing soda and cold water. Hot water sets stains like that.

"Peace Renarin." Rlain reminded again, putting a hand on Renarin's chest, attuning Peace. Renarin took a deep breath and matched the tone, "I was surprised." Rlain stood up, and Renarin wanted to hide his face in his hands. Or cover up his lower half. And his upper half. And bury himself in the basement. Or perhaps a nice lake. A deep lake where no light got to the bottom. "Not bad surprised."

"It was just something Drehy said," Renarin chewed his lip, entirely distracted when Rlain crossed the room. His back was a work of art. His thighs were armored and thick. Powerful. The marbling in his skin and carapace making a beautiful pattern. His butt was-

Wow.

It was a good butt.

"When you're with a man, you can do most of the same things as a woman. You can use your hands, or your mouth, and when you're ready, you can move on to sex."

"Logistically, that's not the same thing as with a woman." Renarin looked down at his papers. This was not the correct order of questions. He should have started with 'how do you know you're ready' and move on from there. He was starting to feel like a sex pervert for starting off so crass.

"Anal isn't so bad once you get used to it-"

"Oh!" That actually made sense, of course it would be a that hole. Renarin regretted not having his pen, he needed something in his hands.

"Right. You probably didn't know that. Well... Now you do. When you're ready-" Drehy held up his left hand, index finger tucked into his thumb to form a closed circle.

"Isn't it uncomfortable?" Renarin tore at the corner of his paper. Maybe if he was anxious enough he could tear up the whole list and forget this conversation was necessary.

"It's a muscle, same with every other muscle. Gotta stretch it out. Practice. Look-" He held up his hand again, poking his opposite index finger into the 'hole' he'd made in his hands.

"I understand that part now, thank you!" Renarin batted at Drehy's hand to make him stop.

Rlain... had an ass.

That meant he had a hole too! Renarin was grinning when Rlain came back over with the towel.

"Enjoying the view?" Rlain hummed to Amusement.

"You have a butt!" Renarin nodded his head, Rlain cocking his head, not privy to the internal thoughts in the other man's head.

"Your level of observation never cease to amaze me." Renarin was pretty sure that was sarcasm. Was there a Rhythm for sarcasm? Rlain was still attuning Amusement.

"No, I knew you had a butt. I mean, I was not looking at it, specifically. I noticed it. In passing. Not from staring." Maybe he was a sex pervert.

"I mean we can both try 'topping'." Rlain looked into Renarin's eyes, his Rhythms stopped again.

"I suppose." Rlain got on his knees in front of Renarin, gently wiping at his stomach. Renarin blushed again as he did. He'd almost forgotten again. Rlain started at Renarin's solar plexus, wiping slowly down to the hairs of his stomach, the trail that lead lower to his softened member.

"You don't sound interested." Renarin whispered, trying to think of something other than Rlain's hand being close to him again. That tone he'd used when he asked Renarin to show him how he wanted to be touched.

His body betrayed him, twitching when Rlain went to clean him.

"I'm not not interested." Rlain said, humming Curiosity at Renarin's renewing interest, "I just hadn't considered it before now."

"Obviously not until you're in mateform." Renarin whispered, moving to cover himself shyly.

Rlain looked up into his eyes, then put his fingertips on Renarin's knee. The electric feeling was back from the soft touch and Renarin whined. He was still too sensitive.

"Can I... look at you?" Rlain asked, his hand moving to cover Renarin's, "I am curious."

"O-okay." Renarin didn't hum Anxiety, but he really wanted to. Rlain removed his hand covering Renarin's modesty slowly, the more Rlain looked at him, the more Renarin felt himself twitching, "I-I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Why?" Rlain asked, looking back up into Renarin's face, his face contorted as he hummed something concerned.

"That I keep bringing up mateform. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, I know it's not something you can just do whenever and it's-" Rlain shifted slowly, resting his cheek on Renarin's thigh. "I-I'm just sorry. In general."

"If I didn't want you talking about it, I would say something." Rlain pointed out, reaching out and tracing his fingertip over Renarin's knee. Renarin twitched again, but Rlain's eyes were focused on his tracing pattern."

"Promise?" Renarin asked quietly.

"You're being very respectful of me and my boundaries. I couldn't ask for a better Future Mate." Rlain pressed a kiss into Renarin's knee, and Renarin covered himself up once more.

"I-I asked Drehy-" Renarin started, but Rlain cut him off.

"Renarin do you want to talk about your conversation with Drehy in completion before we continue?"

Continue?

"W-Wha-"

"You asked me not to stop." Rlain reached up, tracing his nail along Renarin's wrist, then removed the hand covering his body, "Are you ready for more?"

"M-More?" Renarin squeaked.

"Surely you didn't think you were the only species that learned you could put mouths on genitals?" Rlain laughed softly, and suddenly Little Renarin was at full attention.

"O-Oh." Maybe Rlain knew more than Renarin did. Or maybe he just knew more in general?

"I haven't done this before, before you ask."

"I-I wasn't going to."

"My time in mateform was unsuccessful."

"I-I know, you said."

"Did Drehy say anything in regards to this you'd like to inform me of before I put my mouth on you?" Rlain reached up, stroking Renarin slowly, and Renarin forgot who Drehy even was.

"You ever eat too fast and find you can't swallow everything in one go? It's like that." Drehy had rolled up his flatbread into a semi-phallic shape, and Renarin was going to slap his food out of his hand if he even attempted another demonstration. Thankfully he seemed to have seen the look of shy outrage on Renarin's face and didn't attempt to do so.

"I have eaten too fast when I was talking. Choking doesn't feel great." The whole conversation was ruining Renarin's appetite, but he'd chosen this time and needed to eat something, so had to suffer the consequences.

"It actually does feel great, you just have to control how much. Too much and you're likely to get sick, and that ruins the mood for everyone."

Renarin nibbled on his flatbread, determined to chew his food fully the rest of his life.

"Anything else I need to know about it?"

"Yeah. Don't use your teeth."

"D-Don't use your teeth." Renarin gasped, trying to figure out where to put his hands.

Rlain laughed huskily, letting his thumb run up to the head of Renarin's cock slowly. The immediate pleasure almost made him lose his mind.

"Noted." Rlain pressed another kiss into Renarin's knee, then put his teeth on the same spot and nipped, earning a loud yelp.

"M-Maybe some teeth." Renarin amended, and Rlain attuned Amusement.

"I wouldn't want to refute Drehy, the only man who knows about these activities." Rlain sounded something like Amusement, but quicker. The hand not on Renarin's cock went to his thigh, spreading his legs slightly so Rlain could lean in closer.

"I-Is that sarcasm?"

"It was sarcasm, yes."

"The Rhythm was sarcasm?"

"The Rhythm is Ridicule."

Renarin felt a pit in his stomach. He didn't like that, but didn't have the words to express it when his mind was fighting to just ignore it and sink into pleasure. If he said something now, would Rlain stop? He very much didn't want Rlain to stop.

"I just want it to feel good for him." Renarin whispered, staring into his bowl of curry, "How will I know if he's having a good time? I mean, I can figure out some of his Rhythms, but there are a lot of them and not all of them are straightforward."

"Well lad," Drehy handed Renarin another piece of flatbread, "Even if his Rhythms are going wild, the most important thing is communication. Neither of you can read minds, so you gotta use your words. Biggest erogenous zone-" Drehy tapped his forehead. "Wait.. you two don't read minds, do you?"

Renarin smiled slightly, eating a scoop of curry, "We don't read minds."

"Figured I'd ask."

"I'm always happy to answer questions if I know them. Truth is kind of our thing."

"Well since you brought it up, and I'm only asking as a curious friend, you know how some chulls have 2-"

"I am no longer answering questions."

"I-I... don't like that Rhythm." Renarin whispered, looking down at Rlain, and Rlain pulled back.

"I didn't mean to offend-" Renarin grabbed his face with both hands, leaning in to kiss him before he said more.

"It's stupid, I'm sorry. Please don't stop." Renarin kissed him again, Rlain reached up and put his hands over Renarin's and didn't kiss him back.

"It isn't stupid." Rlain said to Consolation, "I won't use it anymore. I'm sorry."

"Please don't make fun of me." Renarin's shoulders were shaking, throat tight, "I-I don't like it. Not even playfully."

"Okay." Rlain kissed him gently, putting both his hands on Renarin's cheeks to wipe away the tears, "Thank you for telling me. I will remember."

"I'm sorry." Renarin whispered, pulling back and pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes, "Storms, I'm probably the only one who starts crying when my partner tries to pleasure me."

Rlain didn't speak, instead pulling Renarin back to rest his head on Rlain's shoulder. Renarin didn't stop shaking as Rlain attuned Peace. It took Renarin a few moments to echo the Rhythm, and eventually he stopped shaking.

"You're getting better at that." Rlain whispered, kissing Renarin's temple. Renarin breathed out, pressing a kiss into Rlain's shoulder.

"Thank you." Renarin blushed at the compliment, feeling like he could breathe again.

"That's interesting..." Renarin pulled back so he could look at Rlain's face, not entirely sure what he meant, "You reacted to the compliment." Rlain gestured with his chin down to Renarin's lap.

Renarin went back to wanting to hide, his face blossoming red, "T-That was-"

"Do you like when I compliment you?"

"I-I think everyone likes compliments."

Rlain ran both his hands up Renarin's thighs, the man shaking under the touch, "Not compliments then... Praise."

"S-Storms!" He squeaked. "T-that's unfair."

"Unfair?" Rlain was back to attuning Amusement.

"Y-You can't say nice things when you're down there. It's not fair."

Rlain chuckled, pressing his lips to Renarin's jaw, "Why would I stop, when you make such sweet sounds?"

Renarin couldn't stop the choked sound that came out of him. Rlain had his attention once more.

"Cheating."

"Cheating?" Rlain laughed, kissing down Renarin's chest hair, squeezing and spreading Renarin out before him, "Would you like me to stop, then?"

Renarin shook his head, putting his hands onto Rlain's spiked shoulders and finding somewhere to hold onto that wouldn't impale him.

"Out loud, Renarin." Rlain hummed another Rhythm Renarin didn't know, his lips tracing the hairs of his lower stomach.

"D-Don't stop." Renarin whispered, digging in his nails in. Rlain gasped, looking up and meeting Renarin's eyes. He looked hungry, but not for food..

For him.

Was that even possible when not in mateform?

Well yes, possible. He was doing it now.

"I like when you tell me what you want." Rlain leaned down, running his lips over the top of Renarin's thigh, up to the side of his cock, then to the tip, "Tell me if it feels good."

"I-It does." Renarin whimpered, "I-I like the way your beard feels when you- S-Stormfather!" Rlain kissed the tip, and his whole world went white with pleasure.

"So how do you keep from... finishing... Too fast?" Renarin whispered into his hands. He was still covering his face from the last bit of conversation, when he asked if touching another man was awkward since it was backwards from the way you touched yourself. And Drehy couldn't stop the guffaw before Renarin took it back.

"Well I tend to think of something not sexy. Like chull dung in my stew."

"Why would chull dung be in your stew?"

Drehy laughed then, and Renarin felt like this was some sort of inside joke he wasn't apart of. He looked at his own stew, nearly finished, worrying about someone tampering with such a sacred tradition with dung. He would never trust it again.

Chull dung. Chull dung. Chull dung.

It wasn't working, he couldn't focus on chull dung when Rlain's mouth was so very close to him. "Good." Rlain pulled back to whisper, making a pleased sound, then attuned Praise as he took Renarin into his mouth. The vibration made Renarin nearly lose his mind, he made a sound he was sure had never been made on Roshar before, being so high pitched and drawn out. Rlain laughed around him and had to pull back again, "Good sound?" He asked.

"Mean. That is a mean question." He dug his nails back into Rlain's shoulder, it being the only grasp he had left on his sanity.

"If its 'mean' does that mean I should stop?" Rlain made like he was about to stand up and Renarin whined, giving a pleading look. Rlain took pity on him and stopped moving, "I'm not going to stop."

"It felt really good." Renarin whimpered.

"It will feel better." Rlain took him back into his mouth, Renarin didn't know what Rhythm it was. He couldn't think. And Rlain kept taking more in. And humming. And taking in more-

Chull dung! Chulls mating! Sticky dried curry in the wash basin! His father being disappointed in him.

That did it.

The ever present idea of Dalinar secretly (or not so secretly) being disappointed in him was always a good mood killer. For any mood, and not just sexual ones. Was he really willing to summon up the idea of his father's disapproving gaze just to not orgasm?

He was prepared, but Rlain pulled back, nuzzling into the coarse hair around the base of him, "Stay with me." He whispered.

Had he known? Maybe Truthwatchers really could read minds? Maybe he was just easier to read than he thought he was.

"I-I don't want to finish too fast." Renarin admitted, shifting his hands from Rlain's shoulders to his chin, pulling him into a searing kiss.

"We won't stop until you ask to."

"That's not fair to you." Renarin bit his lip again, beginning to taste blood from them becoming chapped. He needed to stop. Needed something else to fiddle with.

"I love you." Rlain whispered, rubbing a thumb over his lip, breathing out and watching the small abrasion heal.

"I love you too." But it was still unfair. How come he got to have all the pleasure? He wanted Rlain to feel good too, even if it wasn't sexually.

"I want to make you feel good." Rlain pecked Renarin's mouth, smiling at him, "Would you deny me pleasing you?"

Renarin swallowed, face still furrowed with concern, "Can I make you feel good too?"

Rlain cocked his head, deepening their kiss, "You are making me feel good just by being with you."

"Are you sure?"

"I am sure." He nipped Renarin's lower lip, and the jolt of arousal that went through him at the feeling of his teeth made Renarin's toes curl.

"You'd tell me if it was unfair?" Renarin had to make sure, even if his brain was going back to being blurry with pleasure.

"I'm proud of you for setting a boundary." Rlain whispered, giving Renarin's thighs a squeeze. Renarin shook visibly.

"T-That-" That wasn't an answer. That was more cheating. Very sweet and made Renarin feel fuzzy, but still cheating. "I'm serious."

"I promise I will tell you if you are being unfair." Rlain promised, then pulled back, looking down at Renarin once more, "It really is praise, isn't it?"

Renarin smacked Rlain's chest carapace lightly, managing to avoid the spikes. Rlain laughed, standing up and pushing Renarin back into the bed, one hand on his hip while the other went through his hair. Renarin whimpered, half wanting to fight him off and half wanting to lay back and kiss him forever. In the end, the kissing won out. Rlain rested between his spread legs and even though he wasn't leaning down all the way into him, he still pressed into Rlain's armored stomach again. He ran his hands over Rlain's chest, then used his nails to claw into his pectoral carapace. Rlain moaned into his mouth, and ever so slowly Renarin let his tongue come out to meet the Singer's.

If touching was electricity, their tongues meeting was a tsunami of pleasure. They didn't battle for dominance, they didn't need to. They danced in perfect synchronicity until they both had to pull back for breath.

"Wow." Renarin gasped, smiling up at Rlain.

"Wow." Rlain echoed, nuzzling into the side of Renarin's face with his beard, "You were saying something about my beard before?"

"I like your beard." Renarin nodded, "It tickles. I thought it would be prickly, but it's just coarse."

"You'll like my hairstrands, then." Rlain pulled back, pressing kisses into Renarin's face until he giggled, "It'll give you something to hold onto that isn't my skullplate."

"Y-You noticed that?"

"I notice that you focus better when your hands are occupied." Rlain pulled back to look into Renarin's face, "Do you need something for your hands?"

Renarin thought a moment, then shook his head, "No, I want to touch you."

"Very well." Rlain ran a hand over Renarin's stomach, "This time I'm not going to stop until you're satisfied. Is that alright?"

Renarin felt his mouth go dry, but still nodded.

"Good. You can pull on my blankets easier while laying down if you need it. I'm going to hold your hips down. Is that okay?"

Renarin nodded, words failing. He swallowed, trying to contain himself.

"I love you." Rlain whispered, kissing down Renarin's chest, crawling down the bed until his head was between the man's spread legs. Renarin was dripping, but he didn't have time to be embarrassed about it before Rlain took him back into his mouth. Renarin's back arched almost all the way off the bed, but as he said he would, Rlain held his hips down so he didn't buck up.

"I-I love you too!" Renarin managed to gasp out in a moment of composure, but lost it once more when Rlain hummed the Rhythm of Praise around him. He grabbed onto the blankets with both hands, then grabbed the pillow and pulled it over his face to groan into it. He didn't know if Rlain had neighbors, if they heard anything, if they were home. He was beyond the point of caring. Everything was focused on the hot mouth around him, swallowing more and more.

"I-I can't! Rlain I-" Rlain took him into his throat.

Renarin screamed.

His body lost control. It was too hot and too much. Everything was too much. He was dying, it was the only explanation.

"Does it ever stop being scary?" They collected the bowls from everyone before washing, they'd need to scrape them before getting them wet anyway, thankfully no one attempted to make conversation with the men, seeing as they were already deep in discussion.

"Honestly Renarin?" Drehy was filling up the basin, making it nice and soapy, "Not really. But when you find the right person, it's more exciting than terrifying." He smiled fondly at the younger man, "The first time I was with my husband was right after we were freed. We didn't do much then, but I was just so happy to be alive I fell into his arms. He held me until we both stopped shaking with relief. It was the closest I think I've ever been with anyone, and I have done some things."

Renarin smiled, hoping one day he could call Rlain his husband. Sometime in the future. He wasn't even sure if inter-species marriage was something that was legal, let alone if it was something that wasn't actively frowned upon, "I'm glad you found each other."

"And I'm glad you found Rlain. You seem good for him."

"He's good for me." Renarin ran his fingers over the side of a bowl, absentmindedly tracing it.

"You just remember that and things will work out okay."

Renarin came back to himself slowly, uncovering his face from the pillow shyly. He had a feeling that was very loud.

Rlain was tracing his fingertip along Renarin's crotch, just noticing the coarse hair surrounding his softening member. "Welcome back." He hummed to Amusement.

"S-Sorry I was loud." Renarin rasped. His voice felt a little hoarse.

"I like that you felt good." Rlain crawled back up Renarin's body, moving to lay down next to him and wrap an arm around his middle, "You okay?"

Renarin scanned his body. Everything present and accounted for, "Yes. Thank you. It was just a lot. In a good way."

"I am happy you enjoyed it." Rlain was sounding a little coarse as well, Renarin reached out and touched his throat curiously.

"I didn't choke you did I? I was worried about choking in regards to me that I forgot you might do it."

Rlain tried to keep a straight face, but ended up laughing into his hand, "You forgot I might want to pleasure my partner?"

"I-I forgot that it wasn't just something I'd do to you. That things might also happen to me."

"Perhaps this is why you were designated 'bottom'." Renarin pouted at Rlain again, but he attuned Peace and Renarin couldn't be mad after that orgasm, "I think you should be designated as some sort of 'service'."

Renarin rolled onto his side, cocking his head, "I'm not charging you for this if that's what you're implying."

"Not that kind of service." Rlain traced along to Renarin's chest, "I mean it in the ways where you were so focused on trying to do things for me that you'd put your own pleasure in the background."

"Isn't that what you're doing too?"

Rlain attuned Consideration, "Perhaps." He ran his hand through Renarin's hair, and Renarin leaned into his touch, "I think we both want to focus on the other. Not a bad thing, just something to be considered."

"I still finished twice and you haven't at all." Renarin pointed out, tracing his thumb over Rlain's neck, "I want you to feel good. I don't want to just take pleasure from you."

"You're very kind." Rlain leaned in and kissed him, Renarin's body was beginning to feel very lethargic, but he wanted to stay up talking to Rlain.

"That's still cheating." Renarin whispered, leaning his head into Rlain's chest. Rlain wrapped his arm around Renarin's body, pulling him closer.

"Then I'm a cheat." Rlain attuned Resignation, Renarin pretty sure whatever it was was sarcastic.

"I love you." Renarin whispered, and Rlain pulled the blankets out from being tucked in and wrapped it around them both.

"And I love you. Rest now."