Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1

For years you’ve been training alongside of other warriors candidates like yourself; Annie, Pieck, Reiner, Marcel and the others, although you failed to be selected for a titan shifter that didn't stop you from continuing to fight alongside those that did get selected.

You still remember your youth, you where competing against Annie for the female titan but she beat you by a longshot, her fighting skills were better than yours and her instincts where sharper. At least you weren't the only one who failed to be selected, Porco didn't receive a titan, and alongside you, he also continued to fight.

When the warriors were sent on their mission to Paradise it was only you and Porco for a while. Reiner Marcel, Annie, and Bertold had their mission to infiltrate Paradis while Pieck had been sent to get used to her titan form and get to know those she would be working with. Just you and Porco, Zeke was around but he kept his distance doing other stuff, the two of you continued to fight and protect your country through battle victories while the others did who knows what on that wretched Island full of Eldian devils.

The years passed and you got closer to those who stayed, Pieck was pleasant to be around on the rare occasions she was out of her Titan and you hardly talked to Zeke though he wasn’t an unpleasant guy, he was a smoker and you didn’t really care for it. The only person you really formed any sort of bond was with Porco. It was natural that you two got close, you spent a majority of your time together from fighting wars to training, even to eating you two would be found in similar areas, sometimes even talking. It was actually when you two were eating that you both got ahold of huge news, the warriors were coming back.

After 5 long years they came back home… Eventually you found out that only one warrior who was sent to the island came back. Reiner.
Out of all the warriors it was Reiner that managed to come back… the others viewed him as a hero for managing to come back partially unscathed from that filthy island but you held a distaste, he was a pathetic guy who failed to protect the others.

Porco took the news hard, his brother Marcel was on that mission, when he got the news of what happened he blamed Reiner. The only thing Reiner brought back was a woman called Ymir, she held the titan ability that once belonged to Porco’s brother, naturally being a trained warrior and Marcels brother, he was set to inherit the jaw titan that was stolen.

As children, Reiner was picked on by Porco for lacking behind, you would simply observe all this happen. You didn’t particularly like Reiner either but you kept those emotions hidden and only went up to him after Marcel would drag Porco away in an attempt to comfort the boy, but he would hardly talk to you. Now you watch Reiner taking the same abuse he went through as a child as an adult.

Porco left Reiner standing alone after his berating, out of habit you went up to him, not because you cared about how Reiner feels but because it's a decent thing to check up on people and because you've gotten used to helping others out.

“Hello Braun.” You watch as he looks up to look at you, his eyes showing a pathetically sad expression that turns into confusion quickly before he looks away.

“Don’t tell me you have forgotten who I am?” He turned his face to look at you again, this time you watch as he stared, the gears turning in his mind, his eyes narrowing before finally he remembered.

“L/N?” he finally said quietly, “L/N is that you?” You watched as his expression relaxed, his face looking softer but sadder at the same time “I didn’t think you were ali- I- I didn’t recognize you” he finally said.

“Yeah well here I am, alive and well” Wish I could say the same about the others, you wanted to spit out but controlled yourself. Here stood someone that you started to despise since his arrival but he didn't know that. To him you were someone that always tried talking to him as a kid and even now doing it after he's finally home.

“You look so different” he said “older and more mature then when I left”

“Yeah that's what years of military training will do to you,” You shrugged. “I could say the same about you.” He definitely didn't look like the little kid from all those years ago.

You continued to talk to Reiner without knowing that from a distance Porco was watching, wondering why you were talking to someone he thought you both mutually disliked, but he remembered even as children you talked to Reiner out of what he believed to be pity. He scoffed before turning his back on you two and walked away.

Chapter Text

Porco finally received the Jaw Titan a few weeks after the arrival of Reiner and the others, you were left the only one without a Titan, the new wave of recruits were starting to be picked for training, leaving you all alone.

Reiner kept his distance from you and Porco for a while. Porco didn’t mind that he kept his distance and it didn’t really bother you, he was a grown man and could make his own decisions. After he received the jaw Titan Porco went straight to you to discuss what had happened and what the Ymir woman looked like. He described her to be a dirty eldian who held such a strong name for such a weak looking woman, he also said that she looked miserable. Truth be told, you wish you could’ve gotten the chance to see her yourself before she was eaten but Porco’s description wasn’t bad to hear.

“What’s wrong with you?” You turn to Porco as he spoke “you look so out of it”

“I’m just- I don’t know” you shrugged your shoulders, you and Porco were heading over to go eat lunch after some training. Ever since getting his Titan powers the time you two would spend had been cut in half and this was now one of the rare occasions you got to see him. “I’m just feeling left out,” you said half jokingly.

“Nah don’t worry about it, you’re just a late bloomer” he joked, trying to make lightheartedness of the situation, you both realized you were the last one without a Titan and won’t ever get to have one. “It’s not just that, ever since Reiner got back you’ve been sort of unfocused”

You looked at him confused “I have?”

“Yeah, I don’t how to describe it Y/N but you just seem like you’re distracted”

“I guess I might be distracted but I don’t know why, I guess it’s just the fact that I’m getting left behind is getting to me, everyone else has been useful and I’m still here” you sighed as you two continued walking towards the canteen area.

As you entered the room you immediately made eye contact with Reiner who was sitting at a table alone, he broke eye contact first and before you were able to get your lunch and turn around he had left.

“If it means anything, I don’t think your useless,” Porco walked up to you after he grabbed his tray of food and you two both walked up to an empty table “you're a badass warrior even without a Titan and you have the skills to prove it, they way you spared in training today, I think you could’ve finally beat Annie and damn was she strong”

“Thanks Pock” you said as you chuckled out a nickname of his that Pieck had started. His words made you feel a little better but you were still feeling like you were distracted by something.

The years went by and you and Porco’s friendship didn’t falter even after he got his Titan form, in fact your friendships with Pieck and Zeke grew as you started to train with them more, you were offered a position to work with Pieck on the cart Titan but you declined it. Being on the ground during war with other soldiers is where you belong, not in a metal container working heavy artillery. General Magath took this into consideration and offered to take you in his wing to study to become a general like him, you still have a while to go but the offer is there when you're ready.

An opportunity like this would never be something in reach for someone of the likes of you, an eldian, a holder of the devil's blood. Your armband is proof of what you are, yet to get this kind of opportunity to train directly under a general in due time is a huge thing. You remember first being called in to talk with general Magath.

“L/N Your performance and strategy in and out of combat is top notch... I hear that you recently turned down the opportunity I had offered to work with Finger’s Platoon in favor of sticking close to battle” He said in a commanding tone, you feared that he was going to get upset.  

“Yes sir.”

“I need to know why you turned down this opportunity, an opportunity offered so graciously to you.”

“Well,” you quickly hesitated before gaining composure “Sir! I prefer to be where the action is. Working the cart titan artillery is a respectable job and Pieck Finger is an honorable Warrior but I'm not meant to be in a metal box keeping a distance, I’m meant to be where the immediate action is, where I can help those around me in times of stress.” You waited for his response but he just looked at you and then at some papers he had on his desk.

“I see,” You worried if you had stepped out of line denying an opportunity given to you. His tone stayed level and you couldn't figure out if you were in the safe or if you'd be one of Zeke's new titan bombs. “Now, I don’t make this offer often and surely not to one of eldian blood,” he paused as he looked up at you “But you have guts and an exceptional track record, given a year or two I hope to train you under my wing personally.”

“Wait, Sir, What are you saying?” You said in confusion.

“I'm saying that if you keep up the good work and if you don't die within the next year then I’m offering you the opportunity to climb the ranks, somewhere where a person of your status wouldn't dream of reaching regularly.”

Your thoughts were everywhere that you almost missed the next words that came out of General Magath’s mouth.

“I expect you to continue to keep up your performance and I hope to see you at my side within a year's time.”

“Y-Yes Sir! I will continue to train and continue to work my hardest out there to bring victories to Marley”

“Good, You're excused.” With those final words you had left his office. 

Chapter Text

“Excuse me- He said what!” Porco said as he slammed his drink onto the bar you two stood at.

You and Porco had gone out for drinks. It was a Friday and neither of you had any plans or anything, no wars that needed you two’s immediate attendance, and no scheduled early morning training that would require you two to wake up early so you the two of you decided to go for drinks at a local bar that the both of you got acquainted with via Zeke. Originally you hadn’t thought about bringing it up at all. It was still a shock in your mind, but after downing a drink you decided you couldn't keep it hidden and decided to tell him what went down.

“Yeah, he said in a year's time he’d consider taking me under his wing and train me to be a general,” you said while shakely bringing up the second glass of your drink to your mouth. You take a long gulp before looking back at Porco whose mouth was hanging open in shock. “Why do you look like that?”

“Y/N-” he picked up his drink again taking a big swig of it “this is… a HUGE DEAL” he placed his drink down and placed his arm around your shoulder “Order as much as you want! On me! God this is amazing, see I told you that you weren't useless, imagine.. General L/N” His smile was huge and he held you close to him while he ordered one of your favorite drinks.

“Woah, calm down Pock!” you chuckled as you released yourself from his grip “I have to survive another year of war first and then I'd be an Assistant General in training first”

“That still calls for some sort of celebration, no? Come on loosen up, here” he hands you your favorite drink that he ordered for you, you take a sip and enjoy his company. 

Afterwards you two leave the bar sometime close to midnight, you both had a decent amount of drinks, yet he seemed to be alright. You were stuttering a bit with your words but your mind wasn’t that clouded. You remember the conversations you two had while you walked and after a while he took you back to your place. 

“Thanks Pock,” you said as you got close to your door, you grabbed the keys to your house out of your bag and struggled a bit to slide them in, Porco had to help stabilize your hand in order for you to finally slide the keys in, and then afterwards you did something you wouldn’t normally do, you gave him a hug. “Thanks Porco, I love you so much, I’m so glad we’re friends” your words started to slur together as you felt him hug you back, you felt yourself melt into the hug as you started to lose consciousness your eyelids growing heavy and your legs wanting to give out, the drinks and long walk made you tired. 

You don’t remember what happened but you woke up the next day on your bed, only remembering a fogged memory of the hug you gave Porco, he must’ve helped walk you to your bed and lay you down before leaving. You told yourself you’d buy him drinks next time to say thank you for him putting up with you in your intoxicated state. 

After sitting up you realized your head was starting to hurt from all the drinking you did the previous night. It was Saturday, you had nothing planned for today. As you thought about the day ahead of you, you noticed that your head was still hurting, you got up from your bed and gave a big stretch, you were still wearing last night's clothes. You had no idea what time it was but you knew the morning was wasting away. You grabbed a set of fresh clothes and just before you were going to change you heard a knock on the door, you quickly walked over and opened the door.

“Morning Y/N,” You opened the door to find Porco standing there “woah did you just wake up?”

“That obvious?” you sighed as you looked down at your unchanged clothes. Your headache clearing up slightly.

“Yeah,” he said with a small smile “I-uh was wondering if you had any plans for today?”

“Um, not that I know of, come in, I was just about to clean myself up,” you opened the door and walked away towards your bedroom, “mind closing the front door” you said whilst closing your bedroom door behind you. “I won't take long,” you told Porco through the door.

You quickly changed your clothes in your room and then headed towards your bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth before going back to the living room where you found Porco sitting at your dinner table. 

“So what did you have planned?” you finally spoke as you walked towards your kitchen, “I should know whether to make myself breakfast or not” you grabbed a glass and filled it with water to help your headache go away, and started taking sips. 

“Well, nothing much, I was thinking we could go on a walk together to town” you looked at him as he spoke “maybe meet up with the others, I mean it has been awhile since we all saw each other and I spoke to Pieck on monday, she said her and Zeke where free this weekend”

“Yeah that works for me,” you looked through your cabinets with your glass of water still in hand “if we are going to go on a walk then maybe I should eat something real quick then.”

“You could or we could go grab something to eat, I haven't eaten breakfast either so we could go grab something together, my treat”

You looked at Porco with a raised eyebrow and placed your now empty glass of water down on the table “I mean if you're paying…” You playfully spun around to look at him “then yeah we can go get breakfast together, let me get my shoes on and a jacket and then we can head out” 

You walked towards your closet and picked out a nice pair of shoes before heading into your bedroom to grab a jacket and your yellow armband that you accidentally slept with and placing it over your new clothes. Afterwards you and Porco had left together to go to a bakery a few buildings down from where you lived. 

After Porco inherited the jaw titan and received a red armband you noticed that he was treated with much more respect than others, you were treated well with your yellow military band but the red one held much more respect. This isn't a new observation, the colors are there to show people who're risking everything to protect Marley but it felt strange to see Porco have this new found respect from everyone while you stayed the same.

You two eventually ran into the others, Pieck, Zeke, Colt… and Reiner. Neither you nor Porco expected Reiner to be there, but he didn’t talk to either of you so there was no reason to care, but you couldn't stop thinking about him for some reason.

You had heard later while you were hanging out that Pieck had invited Reiner to join you all, which is why he was there. 

You had gotten to know Colt recently and it already feels like you’ve known more about him than you knew about Reiner. Colt was Zeke's successor so when time comes he will be the beast Titan holder, though you believe it should’ve been yours you didn’t hold it against him, it wasn’t his fault. 

While in thought you get a hug from Pieck and a Pat on the back from Zeke. 

“Good job Y/N! Porco told us the news, assistant general is a really high honor” you heard Pieck tell you as she stood behind you unreleasing you from the hug. 

“You’re making us Eldian’s proud” Zeke said, patting you back even harder.  

You glanced at Porco who was smiling until he got caught then he quickly looked away, but you saw that grin he had. To the side of him you also spotted Reiner who was smiling in your direction. He gave you a simple thumbs up, you gave him a small awkward smile and nodded as a thank you. You then looked away to look at Pieck who was no longer holding onto you.

“We should all go grab a drink to celebrate,” you hear Pieck say. 

“I second that,” Porco said. You two celebrated the night before but you understand that everyone deserves a drink tonight.

“I don’t mind grabbing something to drink,” Zeke finally said, which was the deciding factor.

It was already late in the day, the sun was starting to set, you had spent the day with the others. It was starting to feel like how it was when you were children but now you were closer with each other.

Chapter Text

You sat at a table while the others had gotten up to talk to others, it was just you at the table, sitting awkwardly. Oh and Reiner was there too.

The group decided on going to a restaurant not far from where you guys were walking, you had managed to get a table for the group but they were focused on the bar, you ordered something to eat and the rest got appetizers to share, Colt and Pieck had sat with you for while before also heading towards the bar and Porco ended up buying you a drink, stopping by to hand you it and talk while snacking on appetizers before heading back to the bar. Though you told yourself that you had planned on paying him back for the drinks last night, it seems you'll have to buy him drinks another time. 

After a while it was just you at the table, you had drank two full drinks that Porco had bought you and you could feel yourself start to get intoxicated, you didn't much feel like getting up. You'd often spot Porco catching a glance at you but after seeing your third drink still half full he started to understand that you were done drinking for tonight.

Eventually you noticed Reiner had also sat at the table with you, you don’t know when he sat down, you were pretty sure he stood at the bar for a while but you guess he got tired standing. 

“Hey Braun” you said while glancing at him.

“Hey L/N…” You laid your eyes on him, staring for a few seconds, he looked back at you, an awkward tension growing between the two of you. You watched as he would dart his eyes between you and the table not knowing what to do with them. You finally broke the tension.

“Why have you been so distant with me?” The drinks made you very blunt with your words. You've always asked yourself why Reiner tended to keep his space from you, it's not like you did anything for him to hate you, if anything it should be Porco that he dislikes and keeps at a distance but recently you notice that they don’t seem to have the same awkward tension that you two have.

“Sorry?” He sounded taken aback by your bluntness. 

“Ever Since we were younger I tried to talk to you but you would never talk back, instead leaving me standing alone.” You took a heavy swig of your drink “And then when you got back from that devil island you felt somehow even more distant even though you talked more, I don't understand”

“I- I don't know what you mea-” Reiners sentence was cut off by Pieck placing down a drink in front of Reiner.

“Here you go Reiner, this ones on me, but you owe me later” Shocked, you both don't know what happened, Pieck handing Reiner a drink was out of the ordinary. Reiner glanced at the drink in front of him and hesitated for a split second before grabbing the cup and taking a long sip. He separated himself from the cup and looked at you before going back for another sip, finishing the drink. 

Before you knew it you both sat there each with two empty cups, working on your third. He started to open up more and talk, the conversations weren't the best and he never answered your original question, but to be fair you had forgotten what you even asked him. You two talked about family and the recent missions you were on but nothing too graphic got brought up. You think at one point you two discussed the promotion that was offered to you but you don’t really remember.

At the end of the night Pieck and Zeke were the ones least intoxicated and had to help everyone make it to their places safely. Zeke had to deal with Porco and presumably Reiner, and Pieck had done the honors in taking you home along with Colt. Colt was the first to be dropped off, leaving you and Pieck walking together. You think you mumbled words to her on the way home but you weren't exactly sure what you had told her. 

When you finally got home Pieck helped walk you in to make sure you got into your bed safely. She helped you take off the more heavy articles of clothing, like your jacket and shoes, to help you sleep better. She told you goodnight but by that point you were already dozing off. This better not become a habit . You thought to yourself before you passed out.

Chapter Text

The following week was spent training with the others, you trained especially hard in order to stand out. The idea of a promotion lingered in your mind, it motivated you whenever you felt like taking unnecessary breaks, or when you started to slack off, you remembered what General Magath told you.

You started seeing Reiner around more often, he wouldn't really talk to you but at least he waved at you instead of shielding his gaze, and walking away from you in a hurry, you believed that maybe after all these years you were finally getting close to him, not that it was ever a goal you had. Porco noticed this too, it didn't bother him , he would tell himself, but it did, it bothered him so much yet he had no idea why.

One day you had stayed out late doing some extra training, nothing too difficult, you had just finished a simple mile run as a cooldown and were readying yourself to leave when you saw someone waiting by the gate door, you walked a bit closer to see if you could make out the figure. As you neared the figure you finally realized it was Pieck standing at the gate.

“Hey Y/N” You heard her say in a sultry voice.

“Hey there Pieck” you said as you walked up to her “It's kinda late out. What are you doing here?”

“Nothing much… I could say the same for you.”

“Me? I’m just training” You were right next to her now, face to face in fact “I gotta stay focused and fit if I plan to get selected to train under General Magath.”

“That's good to hear” she smiled as she said that “I just wanted to check up on you, remember that you also have to give yourself a break now and then.”

“Yeah I know, so… what other reason are you here?” The two of you were now walking in the direction of your house.

“No other reason, I just wanted to check up on you, you've been pushing yourself harder recently and that's a good thing but you also need to let yourself relax”

As the two of you continued to walk towards your place you talked about your lives and what's been happening, but as you were about to pass the corner of a building you bumped into someone. It took you a second to adjust your vision as it was getting really dark but when you finally looked up you saw it was none other than Reiner who you accidentally bumped into.

“Oh Braun, I'm so sorry I wasn't paying attention.”

“Don’t worry about it, I wasn’t paying attention either” Reiner looked at you and then at Pieck “Hey there Pieck.”

“Hi Reiner, Hey do you mind walking Y/N home?” Pieck said almost out of nowhere pointing in the direction you two were walking. “I'm sorry Y/N my legs are starting to hurt and I live around the corner, but I don’t want you to walk alone in the dark.”

“Oh? No it's alright, I don't mind walking home alone, don’t worry about it Pieck” you turned to look at Reiner “You don't have to walk me home, I’m fine.”

“It’s alright” Reiner said “I don’t mind walking, I mean I live in that direction anyways.”

“Perfect! Okay goodnight you too I hope you each make it home safe” With that Pieck left the two of you standing alone together. Without hesitating you both started walking towards your house. The walk started off quiet, unknowing of what to say to each other after Pieck randomly paired you two off. 

“So, you live over here?” Reiner said as he broke the silence.

“Yeah, Um, I live about two streets down and then to the left there's a street that goes down for a bit, it leads to an apartment complex that I live in” 

“Oh I live a bit further away.” The conversation was dry and for the most part the two of you walked in silence, it wasn’t uncomfortable, you didn’t really mind the silence. You started to realize that you no longer hated him as much as when he first arrived home. You’ve mostly been indifferent to him recently, maybe that's why the walk was bearable.   

As the two of you were nearing the road that turned leading to your place you heard Reiner speak up.

“I'm sorry for always avoiding you” he didn’t look at you when he said this.

“Where did that come from?” you asked.

“Last saturday when we all went for drinks you asked why I always avoided you, I didn’t know what to say so I drank to get the courage to tell you but I unintentionally avoided answering” You look up at him confused.

“Oh I think I remember that.” To be honest you forgot about asking him that question. “So, what? Did you finally get the courage to answer?”

He didn’t answer you. You got to the corner where you were about to turn and you stopped walking, Reiner noticed and stopped a few spaces up before he turned so that you two were now looking at each other.

“Hey, just forget about it,” you caught up with him and gave him a nudge. “I don’t really care much anymore.” You did care , you wanted an answer but for some reason you also didn't want to hear it. Before he could respond to you you wished him a good night and started heading home. The conversation was starting to get too serious and you weren't ready to hear what he had to say, because for some reason you still slightly hated him.

Unknowingly a couple stories up Porco was watching from his balcony, he had figured out that the route you use to walk home was right next to his place so he would watch you walk home late at night, not in a creepy way, it wasn’t like he was going out of his way to go to a place just to watch you, your walk just happened to be by his place. Tonight he wasn’t expecting to see you walking with Reiner. He stood and watched as you two talked to each other nearing the turn to your place. He watched as the two of you paused and then stood to face each other in conversation and he especially watched as you gave Reiner a nudge. 

The whole time it felt like he was holding his breath, it wasn’t until he watched as you left Reiner at the corner that he felt a small sigh of relief. He continued to stand on his balcony and watched as Reiner walked in the direction ya’ll were originally walking towards. 

Once neither you or Reiner were in sight he stood on his balcony a few minutes longer, lost in thought. He wished he was the one walking you home instead of that good for nothing Reiner, he thought about last saturday night when you and Reiner were talking to each other at the table, he wished that you had gotten up to stand with him at the bar or wished that you had asked him to sit down with you, but you didn’t. 

He finally let out a sigh. What am I thinking? He asked himself. With that he walked back into his house.

Chapter Text

“Hey Porco!” you called out to Gilliard. It's been awhile since you’ve seen him, he and Zeke had been stationed to go fight in a war and after almost 3 months he was finally back, you had been sent to help unload the supplies and you wanted to check up on those wounded afterwards. The minute he spotted you, Gilliard started heading in your direction, almost crashing into someone unloading supplies, it made you smile as he stumbled back a bit.

“Y/N! it's been so long,” he said pulling you into a side hug, he started doing that more often, at first you were thrown off guard but you realized Pieck hugs you whenever you see each other after a long time spent away, so maybe it wasn’t weird that Porco did the same. You gave him a pat on the back, and he let you go.

“How was the damage?” you asked as you faced the air crafts unloading the wounded.

“Better than last time, not as many casualties but still casualties none the less” he turned to where you were looking “it was a war after all.”

“Yeah, I know,” you turned to look at him “I’m glad your back safe Pock” He didn’t look at you but you could see a smile form on his lips, You didn’t notice that someone was talking up from behind.

“What about me? Did you miss me?” You turned to see Zeke standing behind you with a cigarette in his hand, about to blow out the smoke. 

“As much as I missed your smoking” you said sarcastically.

“Aw you don’t really mean that,” he said as he took another pass from the cigarette.

“I’m glad you're back to Yeager.” You rolled your eyes as you said this, you looked back at Porco, “Well, I guess I’ll see you guys later, I was assigned with helping unload the aircraft and then I plan to check up on the casualties afterwards”

“Alright then, uh- maybe when you're done we can go get something to eat later?” Porco shrugged, stuttering a bit on his words but not enough for you to notice.

“I would love to but I promised Colt I was going to help him with some training techniques, later today” you looked back “Maybe tomorrow afternoon?”

“Ye-Yeah, I think I'm free tomorrow.”

“Alright then I'll see you tomorrow, feel free to stop by my place whenever you're ready.” You waved at Porco and Zeke and before turning back towards the direction of the aircraft.

“You suck at this.”

“Shut up” Porco spat at Zeke’s comment.

Chapter Text

You woke up a little sore from last night's training. Colt had asked you for some strategy training along with physical training so you spent a lot of time demonstrating training techniques and having to repeat them more than you're used to but you pushed through. 

As you got out of bed you remembered that Porco had asked you to go out with him later that day. It would be nice to spend time with him after being gone so long, you'd been lonely these past few months. You had Pieck and Reiner but you weren't as close to them as you were with Porco. Though during the time you spent training alone you've had time to think about things, and you think you've come to a daunting realization.

As you got up you thought about what you’d do first. Leaving your room you decided to make some breakfast. After you finished eating you cleaned up a bit. The mess around your house has been stacking up recently, not that it was on purpose, you just had not had the time to clean, recently the house has been empty as you spent more time training. You washed the dishes, cleaned the trash lying around, picked up the clothes off the floor of your room and swept the place. You didn’t know how much time you spent cleaning but you immediately jumped into the shower afterwards to wash up before Porco arrived. 

Once you stepped out you heard a knock at your door, you quickly put on some clothes to cover your nude body, your undergarments, a tanktop and a pair of shorts; barefoot you made your way to the door to see who was there. You hoped it wasn’t Porco, you didn’t want to make him wait as you finished getting ready. As you opened the door you saw none other than Gilliard standing there.

“You just have a bad habit of catching me about to get ready, don’t you Gilliard,” You chuckled as you ran your fingers across your soaking wet hair that you didn't get a chance to dry with a towel.

“Ah, sorry Y/N” Porco said, looking a little flushed. You didn’t notice as his gaze wandered over you, your freshly cleaned body that was still wet from the rinse you took. He glanced at the clothes you were wearing, he wasn’t used to seeing you without properly covering garments, it was strange. “Should I come back later?”

“Yeah, that would be great,” you paused slightly. “Unless you don't mind waiting here. I mean, not here like outside, but if you want to sit inside while I finish getting ready I promise I won't take too long.”

“Yeah, that's… that's fine with me” 

“Okay perfect!” You stepped aside to let Porco enter your place, “have a seat wherever, I'm going to head to my room to finish getting ready.” You closed the front door behind you as you watched Porco take a seat at your dining table. “I'll be out in a few minutes.”

Porco watched as you walked to your room, he watched as you didn’t close the door behind you, instead he let his eyes follow as you walked back and forth trying to choose an outfit. He saw as you finally chose what you were going to wear and then headed to your bathroom to change into it. He felt nervous and anxious and his body was starting to heat up throughout all this. It was an awkward feeling that he was experiencing. 

When you finally left the bathroom, Porco noticed that you had changed into the clothes you had picked and also had fixed your hair. 

“I’m ready to go,” you told Porco as you fixed your armband and put some shoes on.

“Yeah I’m ready to head out as well.”

The two of you headed to a semi-popular lunch spot that was located closer near the port, a bit far away but a nice walk. On the way there the two of you were deep in conversation about the dumbest of things.

“Seriously?! Bertolt?” Porco chuckled out as he laughed a bit.

“What, you asked me about my childhood crush” you lightly shoved him.

“Yeah but I thought you were going to name a warrior or someone else, not fucking Hoover” He was taunting you. “Wow, can’t believe you liked him.”

“We were kids, he was nice, and tall. It's not like there were many options, I mean, who else was I supposed to dream about, It was only the seven of us.” You stopped smiling “I was really sad the day they all departed but over the years the feelings really just left, y’know, it was just a stupid childhood crush. Still hurt when they never return though.”

“I understand what you meant, I was proud of my brother when he was picked, hurt when he left, but I believed in him, that he would return,” he sighed “but then he didn’t.”

You gave him a pat on the shoulder as the walk continued. “So… who did you have a crush on?” He didn’t answer for a few seconds.

“It was a female soldier, though I only saw her a few times in passing.” That was a lie and he knew it was, but he was scared to tell the truth.

“What did she look like?” 

“She was beautiful, strong and powerful too, and never gave up on the tasks she was set to do.” He was looking at you but you didn’t notice as you paid attention to the street ahead. “I never got her name though.”

“That's a shame.” 

“Yeah, a damn shame.” The two of you now looking at each other in silence, a small smile formed on your lips. You enjoy spending time with Porco, having the casual dumb conversations you never got to experience as children. He smiled in return, a bittersweet smile because the crush he had in childhood was standing right in front of him. Afraid to say anything because unlike you his years were being numbered.

-

The two of you eventually made it to the lunch spot, after eating you and Porco debated on who would pay. Porco wanted to pay for the entire meal to treat you, but you debated that you should pay in order to pay him back for the drinks he bought you so long ago. In the end he payed for the entire meal and you felt defeated, but he asked if you wanted to go get drinks together and he told you he'd be willing to let you buy the first few rounds if you were dead set on paying him back, which you were.

The night ended with you and Porco downing 7 rounds each, you thought you could hold your liquor but you still ended up tipsy, Porco was also known to hold his liquor but if the two of you competed on who could drink more it's no doubt that he would win. 

“ Hic ~ I had fun today Pock” You told him as the two of you walked down the dark streets which were illuminated by the street lights. “I really missed you while you were away.”

“I missed you too Y/N,” his body flinched as he felt your hand grasp his “wh- What are you doing?!”

“Please don’t leave me.” you whispered “I'm always so sca- hic -ared when everyone leaves me, scared I’ll be alone for good”. You were revealing things in your drunken state, you had no way to stop it. 

Porco was petrified, he had no way to respond as he felt the warmth of your hand envelope his. “Y/N…”

The two of you were now silently walking back to your place, hand in hand, the silence being only disturbed by your hiccups. 

“You’re such a good friend Pock” You told him as your body leaned into his.

“Friend… yeah, I guess I am.” The two of you made it to your apartment, you wished him a good night, watching as he walked away. you closed your door when he was decently far away. Heading back home he was sure you were going to forget everything that just happened but Porco would never forget. He stared at his hand, the one that you held, he still felt the warmth of yours on his. 

He still had feelings for you but he knew you didn’t feel the same. 

Once he got home he immediately went to his bed and collapsed on it, wishing to fall asleep and enter a dream where his life wasn’t on a timer and he could be with you without restraint.

Chapter Text

You woke up to a knock at your door, annoyed you checked your window and saw the sun still rising, tempted to see who woke you up so early you grudgingly walked to the front door. Once you opened the front door you found your neighbor from next door asking if you had an ingredient that she seemed to be missing for her breakfast, she apologized if she had woken you up and said it was no worries if you didn’t have it and that she would be fine asking another neighbor but you told her that it was alright and that you would go check. Luckily you did have the ingredient so you handed it to her and waved her goodbye as she walked back into her apartment.

You spent the morning lazing around your place, not knowing what to do, eventually when the sun had started to set you figured you'd go out for a walk. You walked all the way to the ocean admiring the view. You had spent today mostly in thought, for the most part your mind was occupied with the thought of working under General Magath, but a small portion of your mind was caught up on something else, something you didn’t want to acknowledge. But while you were walking you managed to bump into someone, apparently you had been too busy to focus on where you were walking. 

“Hey! Watch where you- Oh Y/N!” you glanced down to see a little brunette girl practically yelling your name. 

“Ah- Gabi, I'm sorry, I guess I wasn’t paying attention” You gave her a soft smile. Gabi was a warrior candidate that was picked along with Colt and others her age to one day possess the powers of the titan, Gabi was the most head strong of the batch and was determined to gain a titan. You’d seen her a few times in passing along with the other candidates but you never got the chance to properly spend time with them. Gabi wasn’t alone, you had glanced to the side and spotted Reiner.

“Ah, good evening Braun,” You also gave him a small smile.

“Good evening… L/N” The air grew awkward and uncomfortable. 

“”Y/N! I heard that you got offered the position to work directly under General Magath, is that true, if so that's so cool! You're like the only eldian who's been offered that! It's never been done before.” Gabi was speaking so fast that you almost couldn't pay attention.

“Yeah, I did get offered that, who told you?”  You glanced at Reiner who quickly turned away.

“Almost all the warriors are talking about it, I first heard it from Reiner, but Zofi and the others overheard Galliard and the others talking about it.” she gave you a small nudge on your arm “everyone is excited and proud of you.”

“Really… everyone” You wanted to keep this a secret from others, especially the kids because you didn't want to let them down later down the road just in case, but what did you expect telling Porco, he's not really known for being quiet, and Reiner… you didn't expect to hear that he was also talking about you, if gave you a weird feeling in your stomach.

Before you could say anything else you got interrupted by a cough.

“Alright Gabi,” Reiner said while clearing his throat, “I think we should start heading back.”

“Aw, I want to keep talking to Y/N about the promotion”

“Aha, it's not a done deal yet so don't get too excited” you replied with a  nervous laugh.

“Y/N do you want to walk with us?” Gabi asked excitedly. 

“Oh. Um,” you glanced at Reiner for help but he didn’t give any guidance, “Yeah sure, where are we heading?”

“Oh I was just planning to take her home, you don’t have to if you don't want to.” Reiner said. You reassured him that it was fine, and so the three of you started heading towards where Gabi lived. 

The walk was fine, Gabi talked to you most of the walk, asking about the promotion and what exactly went down when you were conversing with General Magath. At one point she asked you about how you felt about the other warriors, you gave them all decent ratings based on how they perform in the battlefield and your overall relationship with them but when you got to Reiner you saw as his eyes as they looked at you, watching, waiting for what you had to say, you felt a lump in your throat start to form. In the end you said something basic about him and ended up also saying how he needs to work harder because he tends to lack in certain areas.

Gabi felt pleased with your evaluations and even poked at Reiner for seemingly falling behind. Finally Gabi had been dropped off and it was just you and Reiner. He offered to buy you something to eat to make it up to you to walk all the way to drop off Gabi. At first you denied it stating you weren't hungry but your stomach betrayed you, rumbling just as you were denying the offer.

“So… my evaluation” Reiner said in the middle of eating a bite of his food.

You almost choked on your own food as he said this, wishing he didn't bring it up. “Ahem-” You cleared your throat. “What about it?”

“Is that what you really think of me?”

“It was a professional evaluation, you got a problem with it?” you unintentionally snapped at him.

“Uh, no” he looked apologetic, “I was just curious”

“I meant no harm by it if that's how you interpreted it” you took a sip of your drink.

“Ah, no,” he paused. “I didn't interpret it in a rude way.” The rest of the dinner was silent. The whole time you sat with Reiner you felt strange, it wasn't hate, or anger, not even disgust, you didn't know what you were feeling, everytime you glanced at him you got a feeling of nervousness before you quickly looked away. 

When the dinner was over it was starting to get dark, you both decided it was safe to start heading back home.

“How do you know Gabi?” you asked to break the silence “you two seem close.”

“She’s family.”

“Oh? Ohh” the realization hit you “Gabi Braun, and your last name is also Braun, god I feel so stupid for never putting two and two together.”

“Haha, seriously?” he said as he gave a light chuckle. “Let me tell you something, did you also not know Colt and Falco are brothers?”

“Shut up,” you punched his shoulder. “I knew that, they look so similar it's hard not to notice.” There was a pause before you spoke again, “This is nice.”

Reiner looked a bit confused. “What is?” 

“Being able to talk to you,” you clarified “God, do you know how hard I tried talking to you as a kid, it was insufferable every time you walked away from me”

He looked shocked by your words, “really?” 

“Yeah, it was like you thought you were better than me or something”

“That's not what I meant at all!” he blurted out louder than he intended.

“Then why?” you asked your tone sounding a bit assertive without intending to. He didn’t say anything, you started getting déjà vu like you've had this conversation before. “You know what, you don’t have to answer.” 

He paused in his tracks.

“It's because I used to have a crush on you,” he quickly stated, not as a whisper but loud enough for only you to hear it. You stopped in your tack just a few steps ahead of him.

“What-”

Chapter Text

“What-” You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Reiner Braun, the weak kid who couldn't look you in the eyes, used to have a crush on you when you were kids, you were at a loss for words

He avoided your gaze “That night when you asked me why I was always so distant with you, it was because I was too nervous to talk to you so I would run away to try and save myself from the embarrassment of making a fool of myself any further than I already did in training.”

“Oh, wow” is all that could come out of your mouth for a few seconds. “So this whole time, while I believed you were a stuck up ass, you instead were a shy kid with a crush?”

“Yeah…” He looked caught off guard and a bit hurt by what you first called him but it washed away and was replaced with a neutral expression.

“That’s… that's something.” You didn't know what to say, you hadn’t expected to uncover such information from your candidate days.

The rest of the walk towards the street where the two of you split was silent, neither of you talked about what was just said or changed the topic, so silence it was. When the split in the road finally happened a casual goodbye took place, nothing to acknowledge the information you were told, nothing, just silence and a wave.

Lost in thought you almost walked past your place, having to do a small u turn to walk back to your door.

It was already late, but you sat at the dining room table, a glass of water in hand, pondering what Reiner had told you earlier. You started to think back on the times he ignored you as a kid, every time he refused to talk to you, or even make eye contact… You hated him because you thought he hated you first, or was to stuck up to even give you attention but now knowing it was because he had a crush on you, you found it… cute. 

A thought lingered in your mind… did he still have those feelings he held for you when the two of you were children? When he spoke today he didn't seem shy or embarrassed to tell you his past feelings, maybe it was all in the past. 

“Alright, ill just leave that be then” you spoke to yourself as you finished the glass of water in your hand. Afterward you went to your bedroom and got ready for bed but as you laid down trying to go to sleep you noticed your mind was preoccupied with so many racing thoughts… some rather… intrusive, it really made you uncomfortable. 

“Just ignore it…”, and “I just want to sleep” were some of the things you told yourself during your restless night.

Chapter Text

The next morning you found it particularly hard to focus, when you woke up you were reluctant to get out of bed, thoughts of the restless night mixed in with some of the unusual dreams you had was not a good start to the day. 

It was difficult but you made it out of bed, you had morning training so you didn't waste too long moping around. Getting dressed, you get yourself ready and out the door within the span of minutes, forgetting to eat, but luckily you found an open bakery so you grabbed something to eat on your walk.

It was still dark outside as you made your way to the training grounds, and not many people were out on the roads. As you walked you caught yourself thinking about Reiner and the conversation last night. He just seemed to flood your thoughts as you trained, even when you greeted the others your mind would wander.

“Y/N?” Porco was standing in front of you as he called out your name, you noticed him when you arrived but you accidentally ignored him. “You alright?”

“Huh? Oh- yeah I’m fine” 

“Don’t look like it” He commented.

“What?” You asked.

“You look like you’re thinking about something” he paused “thinking about it really hard”

“Oh, I'm fine, just thinking about something, don't worry about me.” Porco knew something was bothering you but he didn’t ask any further questions, he could tell you wanted time to think about it alone. 

Almost as if the tides shifted, you found it hard to be in the same space as Reiner, you unintentionally found yourself avoiding him whenever you spotted him near.  You didn't even realise you were doing it till you caught yourself wanting to leave the mess hall the moment Reiner walked in but it would be rude to leave Porco eating all alone, especially since he was in the middle of telling you a story about a mission he was on recently. 

“Pieck really saved my ass there” Porco seemed to be wrapping up his story just as Reiner neared the table.

“You guys mind if I sit here” Reiner asked as he stood in front of your table. 

“Huh, uh sure” Porco paid no mind to Reiner, he seemed even annoyed that he was asking. You on the other hand were somewhat, anxious?? You didn't even understand the emotions that were starting to bubble up. 

You glanced at Reiner who seemed to be waiting for your response.

All you could muster was a simple thumbs up. You glanced at your plate which was still kind of full so you couldn’t excuse yourself with the reason that you finished lunch, plus you were still kind of hungry. 

The three of you sat there, luckily Reiner seemed to gear his attention to Porco, asking him for more information on an upcoming mission, occasionally they would pull you into the conversation to ask for your input but you mainly stayed silent, focusing on trying to finish your food.

All of a sudden Porco raised his voice which brought you back into the conversation but you didn't get to hear much before he stormed out of the mess hall.

Stunned, you sat there, what was going on while you zoned out?

Now that Porco left it was just you and Reiner left at the table, you uttered your first words to Reiner since last night. “What happened??”

Reiner sat there across from you, casually taking a bite of his food, he didn’t even look up while he responded “I brought up the mission to Paradise.”

It wasn't a full explanation but you could assume what happened. Paradise was a sore subject for everyone.

 Once you finished your lunch you stood up, hoping to leave the awkward silence, but just as you stood up Reiner finished eating as well. Throughout the rest of training you kept bumping into him, though you kept the interactions to a minimum.

Even at the end of the day when you started walking home he was there, walking next to you, not too fast but also not slow enough that you could pass him, just the awkward pace where neither of you could pass the other.

In the end you decided to say something, anything to get rid of the awkwardness, but before you could speak you were interrupted.

“Did I make you uncomfortable?” Reiner asked you. Startled, you didn’t know what to say. “Im sorry if I did, that wasn't my intention.”

“What, no you didn't make me uncomfortable, ah I’m sorry, what made you think you did” you asked as if the answer wasn't obvious, you'd been avoiding him all day.

“You looked uncomfortable when I sat down next to you and Porco during lunch in the mess hall”

“Oh, I was just hungry, I had skipped breakfast this morning.”
“Okay, well that's an obvious lie” his tone had the hint of a smirk.

“How would you know that? Are you stalking me?”

“No, I just saw you this morning heading into the bakery near the post office on the way to training.”

“You got me…” defeated that your lie got called out “I wasn't necessarily uncomfortable, I've just been… lost in thought,” that wasn't a lie, but there was no other way that you could rationalize all your thoughts without bombarding Reiner. 

“Lost in thought huh, about what?” you didn't say anything for a bit “is it safe to assume you're thinking about what I told you last night?”

A small blush flushed across your face, he was right. 

You sighed, you have been thinking about it all day but what else was there to talk about, it was a childhood crush, you had your fair share of them and just like your old crushes, Reiner’s crush on you probably went away. 

Your hand found itself rubbing your neck as you spoke “you would be right…”

Chapter Text

The words “You would be right…” uttered out of your mouth. But before anything else could be said between the two of you you heard someone call your name.

You turned around to see Porco lightly jogging up to where you stood. He was coming from a direction that wasn’t the training grounds.

“Hey Y/N” he said as he stopped a few feet away from you, “saw you walking and wanted to ask if you wanted to talk for a bit.”

Placed in an awkward position that you wanted to get out of, this request was a godsend “yeah I would… uh” you turned to face Reiner “do you think we can save this conversation for another time?”

“Sure Y/N,” he gave an understanding nod before giving a small wave as he turned around, he paused and looked back “I’ll see you later.” 

He walked away leaving you and Porco standing there. With the sky slowly turning dark the two of you decided to head over to your place which wasn't far.

“So what was up with you and Reiner?”

“Huh?” 

“What were the two of you talking about before I stole you from him?” Porco clarified his previous question. You didn't know if you wanted to tell him everything, what Reiner had told you was told to only you, it wasn't just gossip, it was his feelings, his feelings towards you that you aren't even sure still exist or not.

You decided to give him a simple answer, “Stuff.”

“Sounded more than just stuff, if my guess is right then it's the same thing you've been thinking about all day.” It was scary how his prediction was close to finding out the truth. 

“I ain’t gonna deny or accept the accusations.” you raised your hands in a joking manner.

“Alright so it does have something to do with it,” for a split second you thought you saw his gaze darken. “Now just what were you thinking about that had to concern itself with Braun…”

“Hey dont just assume you were right.” as you said that you grabbed your keys to open the front door.

“Okay.. Let's say I'm wrong then. What were you thinking about earlier, if it doesn't have anything to do with Reiner then I’ll back down.” With the door open now you motioned for Porco to step inside, once both of you were inside you closed the door making sure to lock it.

“What did you want to talk about?” you said to deflect the question. 

“Ahh, don't think I don't see you trying to get out of this,” his voice laced with light harmless taunting. 

“Well you did disturb my previous conversation so I'm entitled to an explanation.” There was silence after you said that. Within the silence you had time to place your keys down and get comfortable at the dining table.

“I uh… well…” Porco looked kinda embarrassed. “Im going to be leaving soon on a mission and I just wanted to hang out.”

“That's all? Come on Pock, if you wanted a fun little going away party we should've gone drinking with Pieck and Zeke,” you paused “Though it is the start of the week and your deployment is in a couple days, guess we can’t drink to much, hey how about tomorrow night we go out all of us to the bar and get us a couple of drinks, I've been meaning to pay you back for-”

“I just want it to be us” Porco cut you off.

“Oh, yeah that's fine too.” a bit shocked at his request. “I might have something we could drink if you want,” you get up and walk to your kitchen.

“Whatever you got is fine with me,” you looked around to see what you had laying around and found a half empty bottle of wine, you opened it but that's when you realized you hadn't cleaned the dishes in awhile, so there were no clean cups.

“Hope you're alright with drinking straight out of the bottle” you walked back to the dining area and motioned for Porco to follow you to the couch. “It's comfier here.”

Porco followed you to the couch and grabbed the bottle of wine you held. He swirled the bottle around before taking a drink. “I just wanted to hang out with you, there wasn't really anything I wanted to talk about.”

“Yeah? Alright-” you grabbed the bottle out of Porco's hands and took a swig, you then started talking about stuff other than Peiner, stuff you'd normally talk to Porco about. As you were talking about how in the last deployment you were in there had been some drama between a couple of the warriors, you failed to realize that Porco was staring at your lips. He unintentionally hadn't been paying attention to what you were saying, caught up in his own mind as the two of you had just shared an indirect kiss using the bottle of wine.  

When you finally did realize that Porco wasn't listening you had assumed he just wanted the bottle back so you offered it to him, but now internally he was debating whether to place his lips where yours had been or use the waterfall method.

Noticing he was taking a long time to take a sip you playfully placed your hand under the bottle and pushed it up towards his face, the suddenness of the moment shocked Porco and he coughed slightly, causing some of the wine to dribble down the sides of his lips and onto his shirt.

“Ah- Sorry didn't mean to-”

“It's fine,” Porco said as he used his long sleeve to wipe the wine off his face. The way his voice was soft when he said it had you looking at Porco, really looking at him, the way he was sitting, how his hair was slightly undone, the way the shirt was slightly soaked and see-through because of it. 

“Al-alright” you grabbed the wine bottle out of his grip and took a sip. What was happening. 

The two of you sat there in silence for a bit, occasionally passing the bottle between the two of you as it slowly began to empty. Sip by sip eventually there was only enough for one sip left, you had it in your hands, contemplating whether to finish the bottle or hand it to Porco. 

“Here, you can have the last sip.” You held out the bottle towards Porco, waiting for him to take it.

“Nah, it's your bottle, you take the last sip,” he pushed the bottle back in your direction but you weren't going to just drink it.

“No, you have it.”

“I assure you it's fine, you take the last sip,” he waved his hand in order to show that he didn't want to take it.

“I said, you can have it.” You leaned out of your spot and towards Porco as you started moving the bottle closer to his face.

“And I'm letting you finish it,” his hand was now on the bottle but he was starting to push against it.

There was a bit more playful banter between the two of you as you both continued to offer the bottle to each other. You hadn't even realized how the space between the two of you closed until your legs were touching his but you were still in the middle of debating who should have the last sip.

“Fine…” Porco admitted, “I’ll take the last sip, but only if you hold the bottle while I drink it.”

“Fine.”

Chapter Text

When you said fine you weren't expecting to find yourself standing so close to Porco with the bottle in your hand, carefully aiming the tip of the bottle right above his mouth, but… this was what he asked.

“Fine”

“Are you sure?” he asked with a smirk.

“Yeah, I'm sure, I really want you to have the last sip” you started to lift the bottle to his face but he stopped you.

“Alright, you have to hold the bottle while you also pour the wine into my mouth.” he leaned back into the couch.

“Wait- hold on, I thought I just had to hold the bottle to your mouth,”

“Nah, if you want me to drink it then you have to pour it.” he pointed to his mouth which he promptly opened.

“Ugh, fine.”

You had to reposition yourself a few times to make sure you had the best position to get the liquid in his mouth. He had his head tilted back on the sofa, with his body relaxed as you stood between his spread legs, your knees bending softly helping you carefully lean forward and relaxing on the edge of the sofa as you slowly began to pour the wine into his mouth.

Too focused on the wine you didn't notice Porco eyeing you, looking at you as you stood in front of him. His legs daring to close, keeping you right where you stood, but he didn't. Just as you finished pouring the last drop you lost balance, falling towards Porco but your hands caught you, resting on either side Porco, his hands reaching to grab your waist in case you didn't catch yourself. He glanced up at you again, this time his face grew red as you were so close to him now.

He gulped down the remaining liquid in his mouth, he tried to say something but no words came out. You were in a similar predicament, you grew slightly flustered at the closeness between the both of you.

Quickly you composed yourself and tried to stand up to make some distance between the two of you but you felt a pair of hands at your waist, but before you could say anything you felt them release you.

“I should probably go…” Porco said as he shuffled a bit, you moved to the side slightly, allowing room for Porco to stand up.

“Uh- if you wan-…” he was already approaching the door before you could finish your sentence. “Bye…” you told him as he opened the door.

“Bye… see you later.” He closed the door and now you were alone in your living room left to contemplate what just happened. 

PORCO'S POV

Shit, shit, shit, shit, what just happened, what did you just do Porco. 

The walk home was just filled with Porco criticizing himself and the way he acted at your place.

“You stupid idiot, why did you have to ask her to do that” he kicked a rock as he walked, it rolled a few feet ahead of him, as he neared it again he kicked it harder sending it flying. He was internally crashing out.   

His thoughts were filled with you, the way your body was positioned over his, the way you were concentrating so hard as you poured the wine into his mouth, and the way your bodies were so close to each other… your faces being only inches apart. 

Why did you have to grab her! He yelled for no one else but himself to hear. 

When he finally got home he collapsed on his bed, his mind still thinking about what went down at your place. How your body felt under his hands.

“Oh crap,” was all that he said and he looked down at his body, a long stretch of silence as he moved his hand, tempted to palm his crotch. “Shit, shit, shit, nononono, don’t.”

He felt horrible about it but the thought of being so close to you fueled something in him. He palmed his crotch, a gasp escaped from him as he applied pressure on his clothed erection. 

“You- you fucking pervert.” He undid his pants and lifted his back, enough room to allow his pants to slide off from under him, left in his underwear he reached down between the fabric and his waist and pulled out his cock.

BACK TO Y/N's POV

After Porco left you it took you a bit to bring yourself back to reality.

“What the fuck just happened,” you said to yourself as you walked to the kitchen and threw away the now empty bottle of wine. You washed your hands at the sink and then promptly headed to your bedroom. 

As you got changed for sleep you realized that not only was your mind plagued with Reiner, it was now that you were also starting to think about Porco. The way he looked at you, how he looked, the way his adams apple bobbed as he drank the wine. 

It was… very hot.

No.

He's your friend, one of the only ones you have, you can't be thinking such thoughts, especially when you're also thinking… about… someone else… NO, you already told yourself that Reiner's crush on you was a silly childhood crush so you shouldn't continue thinking about it.

You pushed the thoughts about both men aside as you finished getting ready for sleep, once ready you laid on your bed, weakly attempting to go to sleep.