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As for the unseen phenomenon for the wind to follow its path down right to the land, the water also flowed its path down right to the hills, and last the breath followed its path down right to the ground, everything that is alive is dead to him and not moving in the next.
Narke Farnese is always aware of such things, smallest things, like this.
Time flows differently for his sight, his sight would be able to predict the next land the wind follows, he would also be able to grasp where the hill the water will flow next, and also be able to know how long the breath will remain before it gets buried beneath the ground. Narke Farnese found himself running down to the town hall finding the mother of three childrens he accidentally foresees getting hit by a carriage. He stopped running before he realized he was too late to do anything to change the outcome. The carriage tilted, revealing three ounces of a month’s harvest worth. There was a mother, laying without a sign of life, exactly eternity worthy of care and love.
There Narke realized he might have been keeping a curse disguised so kindly and inviting, just about the entrance, as a blessing.
“You are blessed.” They sang in unison.
On the contrary, Narke didn’t think of it that much, it felt like yesterday he had been standing in line as one of the cardinals. Wearing the robe felt like a dream, but what was counted as a dream for him if he was never able to dream but saw? Narke didn’t dare to say anything about it so he held himself tightly with his skills he excels and stood high, because that’s what he can do.
So when they sang it in the seminary, whatever that counts as a blessing, he believed it.
Then there was Gabriel Caetani, a very much acquaintance that Narke himself found intriguing. What made them so different is that Narke didn’t dare try to challenge faith and fate. Gabriel, on the other hand, would definitely try to crush both into tiny pieces. So when Narke found Gabriel in the midst of his rage, Narke thought of the other to be just… confused. Maybe his skill to describe something would have been more expressive if only Narke wasn't able to see that many distant things, so the range of expression that Narke himself could be in charge is limited to love and indifference.
When he saw Gabriel, he thought of something closer to indifference. He didn’t hate, he just didn’t love. Though within his understanding, his emotion range doesn’t exactly make sense.
For his faith, Narke would think of it as love.
He thought Gabriel would definitely give up, but the other didn’t. That made Narke wonder how much love Gabriel lacked to the point he turned out to be so different from him.
Gabriel lacked faith. Narke assumed.
As the lamb walked past the child, it was adjacent to the nearby hut.
There the child took a couple of steps and looked ahead of him, so unsure, yet so boldly faced with the cross. Then he thought he belonged there forever because of his love. He loves everything there. Even just an inch of it, everything of it, Narke cherishes all of it. And he wouldn’t dare to hope for anything else. If faith was to be exactly so giving, then Narke couldn’t help but give.
That was, until he saw it in front of his eyes.
A very new entity that is nowhere from Rome captivated or more accurately piqued his interest. Despite his circumstances and sole mission, he didn’t hesitate to admit this individual is very, very, captivating.
Those pair of eyes that were meant to scrutinize the circumstances of a person, that wasn’t important, Narke really didn’t give a lot of thought about Lukas’s identity. From what he heard the other might have eaten a dog or drunk blood, what is so much more important to him is that Lukas Askanier felt like a blank paper to him.
He finally introduced himself, he would definitely do it genuinely this time. Maybe now that he finally has a standing in Lukas’s life he can measure Lukas as something beyond human, just as what the people said about him.
Narke didn’t pity Lukas for a bit, because he found himself drawn to his way of thought.
Everything about his logic feels enamoring. Narke can’t help but adore how blatantly raw his emotions are, ranging between every nook and cranny of his brain circuit works, Narke would like to read Lukas like a book. Narke knew this wasn’t exactly the best thing he could come up with nor polite, but for once maybe he could thank his skill to read what was it that was carved so evidently and honest in that heavy skull his favorite entity has. Because in every second there is left for him to stare at Lukas, he would love to know what this entity is thinking of.
That sounds a bit selfish, but Narke felt like it was once in a blue moon for him to be able to be selfish, so he found himself reasoning his way to get to read Lukas.
However, his thoughts were quickly dismayed by the arrival of another variable. The sole heir of the Wittelsbach, none other than Leonard Wittelsbach.
Narke was almost fully entranced by how otherworldly blunt this other entity is, with how different his honest and yet so guarded Leonard’s mind is.
Do you think I wouldn’t notice?
Narke glanced at the student in front of him.
With how much glare and suspicion he received from Leonard Wittelsbach, Narke feels like he is standing on his tiptoes. At some point during their very first meeting, Narke genuinely believed if he had dared to make a wrong step or two, Leonard wouldn’t hesitate even for a second to split his head into two. That wasn’t said in a cold-blooded murder way because Narke knew Leonard would never dirty his own hand, it was said as in a context where Leonard would do anything to pry open his head and read him bare.
And this stubbornness that Leonard knows no bounds of… Narke doesn’t like it.
What is so important about knowing what side he is on? Isn’t sitting beside Lukas, gaining his trust, and being one of the people he would confide with is enough? Why is it important for him to prove his innocence?
By this time, Narke finds himself standing in a foreign situation. First, he is sure he could love everything about Lukas Askanier. Second, it is ironically the first time he could experience what it is like to not love, not like, and not to be familiar with someone named Leonard Wittelsbach.
Third, his premonition worked way differently around another variable, everyone else.
To start it off, Narke wasn’t really sure what to make of Elias Hohenzollern. Sometimes he would find it a pity how no one else seemed to realize how bleak of a fate this entity has, pretty much viewing life in the eyes of a deadman. Elias always has that look of both thrill and mistrust, but surprisingly he is quite agile when it comes to having faith. His life so unsettlingly resembles guillotine, meaning his fight is more of executing and punishing people.
In that regard, Narke didn’t have the place to say anything about it. His childhood was spent in seminary where a wall of bricks wouldn’t be the right view to compare to how much running and rolling Elias experienced in his childhood.
Much to his surprise, most of the time Elias evoked a bit of Narke’s curiosity in the most mundane thing. Elias barged into his room and asked him to play a round of cards, told him it is way better to drink upside down, that a hare is easier to catch when he is in all foursーElias would get on all his fours and starts rapidly running to mimic a predator, Narke laughed so much to the point he almost cried, and maybe he should try to pry open Leonard’s head to annoy the shit out of him. It is the simple things.
Narke believed Elias would have scrutinized him once he found out who or what he actually is. Elias clearly hates lies and what is most ironic, if that’s something Narke has done all this time?
Despite this, Elias seemed not to care at all. Not giving Narke a suspicion, or maybe that is just his way of trusting him. While it definitely contrasts Leonard’s reaction, Narke had to dig his heart deeper to say maybe Leonard would’ve done the same. Maybe Lukas would’ve done the same too. So did the rest of Eszett too.
All Narke could do is always expect things from his friends, because that was all he could do from the start.
When he saw something using his foresight, he would always expect it. When he reads someone’s thoughts, he won’t be freed from expecting things. So now that he doesn't have the liberty to say who he is, the least he could do is throw some ambiguous remarks on where he came from and what he did. Yet, he is still expecting his friends to understand.
Narke didn’t want to lie that staying here ruined everything he had. He is happy here. Happy is an understatement from someone like him who had lived all his life defined as a duty. Inside this temptation, he could only long for forgiveness. From who? Narke isn’t exactly sure.
Clearly, the thought of everyone leaving him haunts him. Still, the thought of him telling feels like lying to everyone.
That day in Rome, the entity that he felt so miserably attached to stood in the bottom of the floorーonly a floor apart, yet it felt like worlds worth of distance between them. Narke looked at what was beneath Lukas’s feet.
Remnants. Oracle. The oracle at some point he and Gabriel named.
Narke just wondered how it broke so easily when all his memories would point at some time where Gabriel tried to break it once, but to no avail, he was never able to do it. But when it’s Lukas…
Narke gave Lukas a chance to know how his breath stopped right at that moment. A golden arrow pierced his heart. Narke thought, did everything go wrong at that moment? Where did everything go wrong? Was his faith all along so blind that he missed every regret he should have owned? But what is exactly faith if it’s not blind faith and regret?
Narke gulped. Will his life changed for the better if only someone like Lukas were there at his earliest day?
Who is Narke exactly without his faith to begin with?
So, what is it about faith that is so giving?
Why is it that the more Narke gives, he also loses more?
The sound of wind, the view of the cross, the lambs passing him played right in front of his eyes, the feeling of paper right in his hands, and the calm sobriety he felt whenever he would pass someone reciting a bible verse, to where his love could go after this if it’s now stranded? Narke could only tell Lukas he loved everything at once. Like a series of excuses, that’s what he said. What was there in his childhood, he would give everything in order to love it in peace.
But seeing his people, his favorite entity, his most cherished friend, ended up hurting because his faith slowly put him in a place where he would finally doubt everything.
So Narke started to doubt everything. That includes everyone.
When Lukas clearly hesitated to ask him questions about his childhood, Narke would just let it happen. Narke just gave Lukas the smile he had grown up with. He made it so easy because he knew it was something Lukas could only need from someone like him. Yet Lukas still pushed him from the back and wanted him to have fun, to chase down everyone and be what it means to roam free.
Elias didn’t say anything and continued to treat him the same way, though Narke is completely aware Elias would do anything to know what is exactly so wrong about Narke to the point he turned out so mute when his past was brought up on the dinner table.
Seeing Leonard’s eyes that are trying to pry his guilt open hurted Narke more than Leonard could imagine. It made him feel extremely guilty and nervous. However Leonard stayed true as someone who would still pull him aside and fix his clothes for him. Leonard whispered something but Narke didn’t hear it.
He could only stand there and let Leonard care and not give anything back.
Narke would admit this is the most cruel thing of it all.
Undated time, somewhere in the midst of chaos, Narke walks down to the pit he dug, all alone. His head ringing with premonition, maybe ahead of him is a pile of corpses. Maybe ahead of him is the body of someone he cherishes. Maybe this time God will punish him for good.
He could only hope someone will be able to save him.