Chapter Text
The first night his daughter is home, Christofer Ibrahim never takes his eyes off of her.
He studies how Evelyn sleeps, the way her mouth moves as if suckling, even when her pacifier falls out and there is no teat near her lips.
She only wakes once for a feed, which Kate does from the comfort of the plush rocking chair within the confines of the baby’s nursery, having been settling back into her space while her husband focused on their daughter like a hawk. She finds it sweet.
“I think...I think I could watch her all night.” Christofer whispers, slowly taking a seat on the floor as he watches his wife nurse his daughter. He starts to smile, a mixture of enthusiasm and awe paint his features. “My incredible wife just...grew this whole, perfect person inside her. Gave her fingers and toes, gave her a perfect nose and ears, and...continues to provide for her.”
Kate smiles softly to herself, tired, but mostly because of her other injuries from the car accident several days previous, “Well, if you’d like to breastfeed her, by all means.”
Christofer exhales a soft chuckle to himself, “would if I could.” He just stares in awe, “both my girls. I’m...I’m the luckiest man in the world.”
“You’re also quite tired, darling.” Kate replies quietly, “and just standing here, watching her, isn’t doing either of us any favors.” She stares at her daughter’s face, the newborn looking up at her with intrigue and heavy eyelids. Kate brings her hand up, gently stroking the side of her finger against the newborn’s chubby cheek, gliding a knuckle along Evelyn’s chin as a drip dribbles from her eager mouth, “reckon we all are.”
“Gordon and Julian were insistent to keep Quinn for the night and they seemed happy to comply. I don’t think they care one way or the other.” Christofer explains, pulling his knees up comfortably, wrapping his arms around them, “I don’t think I’ve seen Quinn or Gordon smile so much.”
“The Doctor stopped by as well.” Kate gives a subtle smile, swallowing before she speaks. She didn’t want to worry her husband about what she and the Time Lord discussed. It wasn’t the time for that and, truly, Christofer didn’t really need to know. “He still calls her Apricot.”
“He could call her worse, I guess.” Christofer straightens his back a little, putting on a serious expression, “and if he did, he’d have to deal with me.”
Kate snorts a soft laugh, looking over at her husband, “not even a week old and she has you wrapped around her finger.” Taking her time, she feeds her daughter from each breast, taking her time to gas the baby in between each breast. Lifting her daughter to her shoulder, gently patting her back with her opposite hand. The second time, however, when the baby is fully finished, Kate glances over at her husband, starting to feel sore from being in the same position for too long. “Can you gas her?” She asks the question off handed, but Chris is immediately on his feet to retrieve his daughter.
Christofer simply holds the baby awkwardly in his arms, staring at her for a moment before lifting his gaze to look at his wife, “what does gassing mean?”
Smiling to herself, Kate looks over at her husband as she covers herself up. “Apologies,” She motions with her hands what he needs to do with holding the baby to his shoulder, “pat her back gently, but also firmly. You’ll hear a belch or...something from the other end. It helps with the colic.”
“Um...what’s colic?” Christofer follows her direction as best he can.
“Harder.” Kate carefully stands from the rocking chair with a groan, taking a moment to catch her breath. From both the caesarean section and the car accident, she still wasn’t feeling great despite her discharge from the hospital. When Christofer still appeared confused, Kate motions to his patting with a subtle nod of her head, “pat her harder.”
“B-but won’t that hurt her?” Chris furrows his brow, swallowing.
“Not at all.” Kate shakes her head, “you can also bounce her on your knee, but we can work on that tomorrow.” She gives his shoulder a squeeze, “the bassinet is next to our bed, just put her in there once you figure it out. I’m taking a shower. Haven’t done so in days.”
Christofer continues to pat his daughter’s back as instructed by his wife, while speaking to his wife, “Wait, what about your sutures?” He isn’t comfortable standing with the baby yet, but he knows it’s something he’s going to need to work on.
“What about them?” Kate asks softly, “no submersion, gentle soaps, pat dry. I know the drill, darling. I’ve dealt with my fair share of sutures.”
A part of him wonders if it was all from work or from past relationships. Either way, Christofer didn’t want to know. He’d worry too much about her safety if he knew. Swaying from foot to foot, Christofer watches as his wife leaves the room, only then hearing a soft belch escape his daughter’s mouth, causing him to smile to himself, proud of his completion of the task. His hand motion switches from a firm pat to a soft rub.
Christofer holds the baby with two hands, being sure to support her head with another as she was already managing to lift her head, even while they were in hospital. He slowly walks into the bedroom, wanting to keep his daughter close. Christofer considers placing her into the bassinet next to the bed and pulling it around to his side, but he’d rather let her sleep on top of him. At least for tonight.
Kate takes her time in the bathroom, though to be truthful, a part of her was worried about even turning the light on. Worried about what she would see. Face the fear. Kate swallows, reaching a hand over to the plate and flips the switch, looking at herself in the mirror. She hasn’t done that in the past week.
Disgusting.
Insecurity. She hasn’t felt that emotion in quite some time. Not like this. Not about her appearance. Kate lifts her hands to her button down shirt, the one she had packed in her maternity bag, able to be unbuttoned for easier feedings. I need to invest in more casual button-down shirts, she thinks to herself.
Kate slowly unbuttons her shirt, Looking at herself in the mirror. She remembers how long it had taken her to rid herself of her jelly belly after Gordy. Luckily, it wasn’t as long with Quinn, but long enough to bother her. However, she was much younger both times with far more time to visit the U.N.I.T training gym or just go on jogs around her neighborhood. Not that she truthfully cares at this point, maybe later, but not for the moment.
Her eyes begin to water, able to see the small nicks and cuts covering her body. She knew about the ones on her arms, and hands. Even the few near her ankles, but she was only mildly aware of the few others during her stay in the hospital. The one near her eyebrow, encroaching to the middle of her forehead. The small nicks along her cheek. Only reason she knew they existed is because of the gauze dressing covering them. Reaching up to her face, she carefully removes the gauze, feeling a mild sting, but she ignores the sensation. She leans in for a closer look, noticing another cut they seem to have only put a couple of sutures into, but didn’t cover in gauze. Probably would have made me look like the Phantom of the Opera.
Kate swallows, fully removing her shirt and maternity bra. Her cotton trousers are next. She leaves the disposable c-section underwear on until the last possible moment, don’t need a mess right now. Leaning into the shower, she turns the water on. Not too hot, she tells herself. Knowing that she normally prefers it to be near scalding. She wants it to be near scalding.
Stepping into the falling water, Kate then removes her postpartum disposable underwear. Placing them just outside the tub for disposal when she finishes. She takes a moment, closing her eyes and tilting her head back as if to look into the showerhead. Simply letting the water fall onto her face. Her body aches...with reason, of course, but knowing helps nothing. The hot water would have at least eased the stiffness of her muscles.
Later, when the sutures are removed or dissolved, she’ll soak in a hot bath then. It will be glorious.
The shower takes longer than intended. Gentle scrubbing, gentle moving, gentle...everything. Though being gentle is normally a good thing, it doesn’t seem that way in this instance. The areas that were sutured are tender and she takes her time. Truthfully, she probably could have taken a little help, but it was enough.
Kate was alone when she had Gordon. Completely alone, at least until her father became a part of her life again, but during Gordon’s birth and the few years after, it was just them. Kate did her best, taking side jobs for what she could as they lived on a houseboat, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. When her father came back into her life, it was a relief, honestly.
With Quinn, Kate had Gordy, who served as a secondary parent. She didn’t intend for him to take that role, not even slightly, but he was an amazing brother to his sibling. That was when things started looking up for her at U.N.I.T. Not that they didn’t before, she had plenty of success as their Chief Scientific Officer, but as their Commander, that added a whole other level to her abilities. She doubts she would have achieved Commander as quickly as she did if Gordon hadn’t taken care of Quinn.
Evelyn, however, Evelyn was the first of her children to have their father in their life. The only that would ever have their father in their life.
Three children, three completely different places in her life, three completely different experiences. If she were still scienc-y, she might have written a research paper about it. A self imposed study on the effects on the decreasing presence of a mother and the increasing presence of a father. She missed the scienc-y side of herself, but this wasn’t the subject to reignite that flame. No, she could do better. Science Leads
Stepping out from the shower, the most pathetic shower she believes she’s ever taken. She pulls on the cloth c-section postpartum pants she had ordered months ago, something within her told her to be prepared, even if she didn’t need to be. She could have worn them if Evelyn was delivered vaginally, but Kate had a feeling that wouldn’t come to pass. They were far more comfortable than the disposable ones. Easier to sleep in anyway, even with a large maxi-pad to help contain the lochia being expelled from her body.
Kate stares at herself in the bathroom mirror again, wet hair that she carefully runs her hand through, having found sutures along her scalp during her pitiful tender scrubbing. Better, but not great. She pulls her nursing bra on, sliding a new set of soft cotton breast pads in front of her tender nipples, gathering up the discarded dressings and disposable pants, shoving them into the small bathroom rubbish bin, she hangs her towel behind the door, taking a deep breath before turning the knob to open.
Christofer, hand securely resting on Evelyn’s diapered bum as the baby sleeps on his chest, his own eyes closed. Causes Kate to smile softly to herself. He looks good with a baby in his arms. After walking over to the bed, Kate leans in, pressing a soft kiss to her husband’s brow before carefully moving the newborn into her bedside bassinet, safer that way. She’ll explain the importance in regards to safety in the morning.
However, tonight...tonight she will properly sleep.