Work Text:
Thorne's Perspective:
Walking around the fancy corridors of the New Beijing Palace felt odd, something Thorne hadn't imagined he would ever do again. He glimpsed at the paintings of former Emperors donning the wall, with Kai and his wife at the end of the hallway—something Thorne wasn't fond of looking at.
"Cadet Carswell Thorne," a voice announced, making the couple turn around, only to face the Emperor's advisor, "- one would have thought you would have learned your lessons of wandering around!"
"It isn't wandering if I know my way, Torin-Daren," he pointed, a polite chuckle trying to diffuse the awkwardness around them. Being the ever-professional, Torin didn't appreciate his attempt at humour, giving the two an intense stare—until a smile broke on his face.
"It's been a while, Cadet Thorne. You look beautiful, Miss Darnel. I'm quite glad to see the family man transformation of you," Torin comments, his hand reaching for a shake.
"It's Mrs. Thorne now," Cress said, shaking Torin's frailed with age hand "-Carswell had to at some point. You're looking at the finished product of this transformation."
"I'm delighted with this change, Carswell," Torin says, a warm smile supporting his words. In between those frown and smile lines on his face, Thorne notices the relief, even some gratitude, that is loosely hidden in his polite smile and stiff posture. Quick to realize that it wasn't just Kai who was anticipating their response, but even Torin to some extent. Funny, how the man who once thought his presence was a nuisance, had come to long for it, even when it was a consequence of Kai.
"Here's the door to the dazzle," Torin states, coming to stand before a mahogany door, carved with little Chinese relics, and a fully-bloomed Peony in the centre of it.
"Do we have to wait for our announcements to enter?" Cress asks, and Thorne knows how much she would hate being in the spotlight for everyone to stare at.
"Fortunately, we didn't want a fuss about your presence. The media loves milking content, and it's better to keep it away," Torin explained. Thorne heard the 'no nonsense about Cinder, with you being here' remark that was well-hidden in his reply. It wasn't surprising; this was a New Year's Party, and it wouldn't make sense to announce his revolutionary status for attention's sake.
Thorne offers Torin a lopsided salute, "AY AY, Shall we make an entrance?"
His two companion roll their eyes at him, Cress looping her arm through his, waiting for the doors to open.
Inside, it's gold and crimson, the Commonwealth colours. There are tall windows, showing the glowing city lights against the night sky. There are sculptures carved on the ceiling, something Thorne hadn't noticed before. It looked like they had made renovations to this room; his absence from the Palace had been long, and the realisation of it struck him at that moment.
A few nobles, government officials, and foreign guests milled around with crystal glasses in hand. It wasn’t a ball, just a gathering, but there was still something quietly grand about it—like everything in Kai’s life now.
"Are we supposed to search for Kai?" Cress whispered, taking in the changes like he had been doing.
"I don't know what to say to him."
"He won't know what to say to us, as well. We will figure it out." Cress assures him. He finds her fingers, pressing their palms against each other, as they enter this room of important people and a friend they had lost some time ago, and perhaps could find again tonight.
It didn't take a long time to spot the Emperor. He stood amid the largest crowd, nodding, shaking hands, sipping champagne with every other person. He wore some modernly styled ceremonial robes, button-down that encompassed his entire upper frame. The dark burgundy collar made him look sharp, unlike all the times Thorne had seen him, and only seen a young boy. He didn't look that anymore. Tired, was what Thorne thought at his sight.
They finally caught his eye, waiting against some doorway, a smile crossing his face at the sight of Cress and Thorne. Kai waved in their direction, and with it, a few people looked, one of them the Empress. He could feel Cress wave back, mouthing to 'take his time' against him. Thorne didn't have anything in him to offer , he expected this to be easier in his head.
"Welcome," Kai said, joining the two in their corner.
"We had to come, it isn't every day the Emperor sends you an invite," Thorne chuckles, throwing his arms around Kai, the action surprises everyone. But Kai doesn't fumble, finding himself being pressed against the Cadet's arms.
"We almost got tackled by palace security, but Torin vouched for us. That man’s really mellowed out in his old age," Thorne says, as Cress and Kai embrace.
"He's probably relieved you didn't crash the Rampion through the southern wing again."
Cress laughs at his expense, mock hurt on his face, Thorne shoves Kai half-heartedly. Kai smiles. Warm and genuine, but the dismay soon catches up to him, as he starts talking about the weather. Luna. Policies. Anything to overlook the years of absence they've had.
"Dada."
They turn around to find a six-year-old, in a red dress, that pools at her feet, hair in intricate braids, that would probably hurt to take out. This must be his daughter, Tara. The kid that's been all over the Commonwealth Press since her birth.
"You must be Da's friends," She says, pointing at Cress and him, startling them.
"Tara," Kai berates her, "-we don't talk like that."
"Not being rude. I just pointed it," She says, and thinking better of it adds, "I'm sorry."
"You must be the young princess, I've heard so much about," Cress says, going down on her knees to meet the little girl's eyes.
"From Da?" Tara quirks, and there's the truth in between them, but this girl doesn't need to know about the hardships of life yet, so Cress lies, saving everyone the trouble.
"Yes, Kai- he loves talking about you. Just a few minutes ago, he told us how proud he was of his baby."
"I'm not a baby," Tara says, looking in Kai's direction, and Thorne chuckles, "That's exactly what I told him, but your Da, he never listens to us."
"I like your friends Dada. They're funny," she whispers to Kai but is too loud that they hear her, and Kai grins.
"We like you too, Tara," Thorne beams, and having caught in her secret, she blushes, hiding behind Kai's feet. For a while, talking with this kid, they forget, how everything around them is strange. Instead, they laugh at old jokes and share antics with Tara, who can't stop laughing at the stories about her father. As revenge, Kai tells her how Thorne forgot Cress in the Rampion once, and about the chicken that seemed to be in love with him, and so many tales, that it felt like old times again.
But then it was Tara's bedtime, and once Daiyu joined them, the awkwardness was evident. She welcomed him and Cress, wishing them a good stay, but her presence was enough reminder for Thorne. Even Cress who had shared snippets and weird facts to make the young princess laugh, chose to remain silent.
"I think we should call it a night too," Cress suggests, as the silence stretches on. Thorne is eager to agree, but Kai asks to have a word with him. Puzzled, he agrees.
"I'll find the way back. It was great meeting you, Kai." Cress says, hugging Kai, the two stay like that for a while, and Thorne wonders if they'll ever see him again.
"Maybe this conversation, somewhere else?" Kai asks, and he leads Thorne out to the balcony. Thorne watches the dark garden, illuminated with sun glow lights, that look enchanting.
"I didn't think you'd come," Kai finally admits, and it's for the two to acknowledge the facts they have been avoiding the whole night.
"Honestly, I didn't think I'd come either. I just didn't want to wait years for another opportunity to come around, to make amends."
"I'm glad you took this opportunity," Kai whispers, so small as if Thorne would vanish if he said it any louder.
It's too much to keep his curiosity hidden, so Thorne questions the one thing that had eaten him up since receiving the letter, "Why send the invite now, Kai? After so many years?"
"It's like you said, I didn't want to regret not making amends sooner-"
"Don't be diplomatic about this, Kai. The least we deserve is the truth," Thorne hurls the words, he hasn't come all the way to hear him say a buttered version of emotions.
"Do you want me to say 'I missed you', cause that's not-"
"No, Kai! Because if you missed me, it won't take 10 years to hear from you!" Thorne yells, his temper finding the escape it had been looking for years.
Kai huffs, and for a moment he realizes, that Kai can throw him out for his words. He's no longer the boy, Thorne called 'Your Kai-ness', that boy's vanished, and in his place is a man, married, a father, all things he wanted to be. Just not to the person , anyone had imagined.
"At least I tried making amends, what did you do, Thorne? You left, nothing to show for years of friendship, not even a 'happy birthday', you don't come in here and tell me not to be noble!" Kai yells back, and the honesty is brutal, but it's better than the illuded version of them laughing over alcohol.
Thorne doesn't have any right to reprimand Kai, he hadn't been any better for 10 years. They were at fault, and for all, Kai might have been responsible for breaking his best friend's heart, Thorne was at fault for picking a side, and never caring about the other.
"I haven't been any better, yes. And I can't apologize for it. I'm sorry, Kai. For leaving you alone, stars, I hope we find some contact." Thorne speaks, shifting to face him, and notices the shoulders hunched , relax a bit , as he turns to punch Thorne in his side. He sits against the railing, moving to look at the ongoing party, that would go on till everyone was too drunk to have any more fun.
"This isn't forgiveness-"
"But it's something," Thorne whispers, joining next to his friend.
"Tara, my daughter, asked why none of my friends ever visited, and I'd to change it," Kai answers, his fingers running to the gelled hairdo of the Party.
"That's funny. I thought you were dying, and wanted to name me your successor," Thorne jokes, getting Kai to join in on his laughter.
"Torin would have a field day just over the thought of it!"
"Imagine the headlines, "Ex-Lunar Queen's Revolutionary Friend Made
-" Thorne says, failing to keep his words in check, that would damage all the progress they made, "- I didn't mean to bring her up, I'm used to joking about it. It's her cop-" Thorne shuts up, how could he be stupid to mention Cinder. That was the only rule he'd to follow, not to mention her at all. Like At All!
He sits idle, too afraid to make a wrong move again, but then Kai finds his voice, as he asks, "You talk about me?"
"We joked for a while, it was her coping mechanism. No longer." Thorne confesses, what more can this information result in, he thinks.
"I don't know what to say," Kai reveals, and Thorne understands, it's an honest reaction.
"Do you not think about it?"
"What?"
" Her ."
"I don't like to ponder, it's all things of the past now."
"Kai," Thorne whispers, he isn't here to help make old wounds worse, but he has to ask, to be a good friend, you have to be a worse person, "- are you happy?"
He doesn't answer right away. His hands clasped together, as he throws a glance behind, "I have a loving wife and, a beautiful daughter that I love to the ends of the world. I think that pretty much says it."
"That's wonderful, but it doesn't answer my question."
"What do you want me to say, Thorne?"
"Whatever, you have been keeping yourself from admitting for all these years," Thorne replies.
They sit in the silence, and Thorne knows better than to push. He's waited 10 years, this seems easier. He notices some of the lights turning off, as the clock reaches midnight. As the noises of crickets become evident, Kai breaks the silence.
"I'm stuck at this possibility that would never happen. It's been 10 years, and I still can't stop thinking about it."
Thorne doesn't interrupt, he knows how there's always more.
"I have tried to erase anything associated with her. That's one of the reasons, why I let you push me away, no mention of this doomed love story, and I love my wife, and this life I have carved with Daiyu. But I keep coming back to thinking about her, and no matter what I do, it haunts me. It's stupid how it hasn't gone away, I have been away from her for far longer than I have been with her, so why isn't this torment over?" Kai gushes, heartbreak leaking in his words. It pains Thorne to see him in this state, but there isn't much for him to do. Kai made his choices that night, he needs to live with them now.
"You still love her."
Kai closed his eyes. And then said, almost inaudibly: “I still love her. After all these years.”
The admission shouldn't surprise Thorne, but it still does.
Kai leaned back, the pale moon shining above, as he continued.
“I thought it would fade. The ache, the weight of her memory. I thought if I kept going long enough—maybe I could let her go.”
"You did let her go," Thorne points, harsh words, but honest.
"It wasn't meant to be, that's what I tell myself, it's better than thinking about how I failed," Kai admits, voice low, to not break this illusion he'd made.
Thorne wants to say something, to tell him that he's not failed. That Cinder was his right person, right time, but the time was too short, wasn't forever. And once it was over, she became the wrong person.
Kai exhales, "How's she?"
“She’s happy,” Thorne said after a moment. “We saw her a few days ago. She laughs more than I remember.”
Kai’s throat worked as he swallowed.
“That’s good,” he said.
“You sure? Because you don’t look like a guy who’s glad to hear that.”
Kai offered a faint, painful smile. “It’s not like I want her to be unhappy. I just... I think a part of me thought she’d regret leaving too.”
“She didn’t leave you,” Thorne said, he knows Kai won't appreciate, hearing 'You let her leave', “-She left everything . The throne, the court, the attention.”
Kai nodded. “It's like she got her old life back, the quiet without the agony, away from the always-watching eyes. It hadn't been that easy here, they remember our past. It hasn't been any kinder looking back, that it had been living through it."
Thorne keeps silent , it won't be a lie , to know that Cinder left this life behind, but this life she had shared with Kai , hadn't left her.
"She asks about you, sometimes.”
Kai looked at him sharply.
“She never says your name. Vague things, about ‘how things are on Earth,’ or ‘how’s the palace.’ It’s stupid, really. She pretends it’s curiosity.”
Kai’s voice cracked slightly. “And you?”
“I tell her what she already knows,” Thorne said. “That you’re married. That you’re doing fine.”
Kai looked down at his hands. Thorne leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. He isn’t good at deep conversations. He’d rather be charming, deflecting. But this—this was real.
“You don’t always stop loving someone just because it ends,” he said. “Some people settle in your bones.”
Kai closed his eyes. “That explains why mine always hurt,” he attempts at humour. A silence fell over them again, heavier now.
“I keep thinking,” Kai said eventually, “that if I could go back, I’d try harder. I wouldn’t be noble about it. I’d beg them.”
Thorne tilted his head. “Do you think that would’ve changed anything?”
Kai looked out at the garden. “No. I had already begged, it didn't make any difference.”
Thorne nodded. He didn’t say he understood—because this wasn’t his love story. But he’d seen the way Cinder looked at Kai. And the way Kai never quite looked at anyone else the same.
They sat in silence a little longer, until the wind grew colder and the lights in the room all shut off, one by one.
Kai stood. “Thanks for coming,” he said.
Thorne stood too. “You're always welcome to visit us.”
Kai didn’t answer. But the thought hung there, fragile and full of maybe.
As they reentered the palace, the laughter of the crowd echoed down the hallway. The sound of a life still going. A life Kai had chosen. But behind him, in a garden laced with memory, something softer lingered.
Not regret. Not quite.
Just the ache of a love that time had made quiet.
But never gone.
__