Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There are times within one’s life when opportunities to overcome personal fears present themselves. Whether they be demons from the past, debilitating fears, or even mistakes that were buried, there’s scarcely ever a right time to confront them. Some moments appear abruptly and without warning. Those are the moments that define many as an individual and can even define their trajectory in life. For some rise as heroes, triumphant over the darkness while others run and live a life of avoidance. In her moment, she felt the fear so potently, gripping her throat and squeezing every breath from her lungs. Every hair on her body stood and the need to run grew with every thunderous beat of her heart. She should have known that nothing for her would be peaceful, when she’d caused so much pain and destruction. But she believed this was her punishment, her atonement . Running for most of her life she lived in seclusion and fear. She wasn’t brave, and she didn’t consider herself strong, but she loved deeply. Loved deeply enough that she felt she had no choice but to do something, be something. Being one of the few that could do something, she could not forgive herself if she didn’t. Even though it went directly against who she was and what she’d always done. Doing nothing and staying away meant everyone would be safe. This time she couldn’t, and knew it’d be her last. There couldn’t be a better testament to the change inside her that had come from finding companionship, loyalty, and love. Never could she have imagined herself fighting valiantly against the dread that was rooted in her bones. When she thought of them, thought of him, she felt strong. Strong enough to do what she needed to. They could fight against her as much as they wanted but her love for them was stronger. She may not be a hero, but she was a friend, a sister, and a lover. And it was more than enough for her to face anything that stood before her. Even if it was her own death. 

— Several months prior —   

When she arrived, there was a harsh chill in the air. Springtime was around the corner, but the Winter cold still lingered in the mornings. There must have been endless days of rain for such a dense fog to settle over the expansive hidden landscape. It was startlingly quiet and apparently even too early for the birds to sing. Her burning dry eyes were a statement to the time, and she refrained from rubbing them for the nth time. The only source of light was being generated from the beginnings of the rising sun. It cast an eerie filter over the land, muting the color of what she could only describe as an estate. She would have whistled if not for a deepening anxiety of being alone so deep in the forest. She tried not to think too deeply about what creatures could be lying deep within.  

The property sat far beyond the gates she stood outside of, and it was a daunting sight. If the walls that connected to the iron gates surrounded the entire property, she couldn’t tell as they faded into the dense brush on either side. She could only guess how long it took the groundskeepers to maintain it. Carefully curated trees lined the long-paved road that led up to the front of the building. It circled at the end and was further complimented by strategically placed shrubbery. Matching the identity of the school as one for gifted children. A too-big-to-miss bronze plaque on the wall displayed ‘Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters’ and she felt the stiff brush of cynicism. Gifted, was a kind way to put it. She’d sooner call it a curse , but that wouldn’t be a welcoming tag for the school. 

Feelings of doubt arose, and she thought maybe she hadn’t thought things through fully before accepting the invitation. That it would be better if she turned back now. Her reaction would make it seem as if she hadn’t spent her early morning mulling over what she’d gotten herself into, for hours, in a silent car with a taxi driver that didn’t want to be awake either. It still didn’t feel real to her, and she felt it’d be more believable if it turned out to be a scam. But when presented with the opportunity, she couldn’t let it pass her by. When two powerful mutants showed up on her doorstep, whilst no one should’ve been able to find her, invaded her mind and made her promises that caused her eyes to burn, she booked a one-way trip before the doorway cooled. She was a grown woman chasing a dream that she believed died inside her a long time ago. Now that she was here, she felt foolish and desperate. 

Her hand felt stiff from the tight grip she had on the handle of her bag and she suddenly turned to leave. 

“Please see the children, at least, before you leave.” A familiar voice pierced her thoughts.  

Her knees shook, and she immediately turned into herself as the words resounded inside her head. 

“I give you my word that no harm shall come to you inside these walls. Just as you are welcome to pass these gates, as you please.”  

Before the promise finished echoing in her mind the gates in front of her opened, causing her to jump. Thankful that there was no one around to witness her reaction, she stood stiffly before the open gates, as if waiting for something else to happen. Nothing came but the running of her nose. As she scrambled for a tissue, she didn’t miss the fact that the speaker's telepathy could not only sense her presence the moment she arrived but also reach her. It wasn’t surprising, as she’d gone to great lengths to hide and the owner of this school could still find her. She was only surprised they hadn’t located her sooner and even a small part of her felt disappointed.  

A chilled breeze passed by her causing her to shiver but the wind brought something more than the cold. Her hearing was sensitive to the fresh sounds that emerged from the direction of the main building. Soft giggles, quiet conversations, and sleepy good mornings filled her senses. Children, she could only assume from the distance, exited the front and sides of the building. Enough time had passed that the sun had risen and showered the scenery in the golden light of dawn. Curiosity had encouraged her steps towards the estate. She’d forgotten her earlier fears of crossing the threshold, in favor of finding out what lied beyond. The sounds of joy were inviting her in. Rubbing her eyes, the light from the sun hitting the dew left by the previous night’s rain made everything sparkle. 

The school was coming alive, and the noise increased. So did the number of children she saw, and even some adults. There were dozens of things happening at once she didn’t know what to focus on. She slowed her pace as she felt overwhelmed by the number of people that were outside. Zeroing in on a voice that rose above the rest, she heard the strong yet soothing voice of a woman. When she spotted her, she saw someone that was just as beautiful as her voice. Dark rich skin and stark white hair shimmered in the sunlight. Her presence was magnetic, and the children that gathered around her hung on to her every word. The woman was familiar, and she recognized her as the other half of the pair that showed up at her doorstep. At the time the cover of darkness mostly hid her but now that she could take her in her entirety, she was clearly someone special. It was as if she was a student then, engrossed and listening in on the lesson of the day. 

Unfortunately, not too long after she tuned in, the sound of a not-so-distant explosion interrupted the tranquility of the morning’s lesson. Adrenaline flooded her system as she scanned the area for a threat, an action reminiscent of a startled deer. On the opposite end of the main building, there was a group of children loudly blaming one another for who or what caused the blast. From the side of the building, an adult male rounded the corner to come chastise the children and remind them of safe practices. He didn’t come down on them too harshly and by the attitude of the children she could tell they got into mischief often. She didn’t recognize him but assumed he was another teacher. A large visor obscured half of his face but she could tell that he was handsome, and his smile was kind when he spoke to the rowdy teens. Some of the pressure that weighed on her was relieved because there seemed to be warm relationships between the children and their guardians. That this wasn’t a militaristic stronghold for these gifted students. She sent a last prayer to whatever gods may be listening, that this wasn’t too good to be true. Smiling faintly, she made her way inside as children breezed past her, dropping hurried excuses, and entered a beautiful traditional foyer.  

“Take your time.” The voice resonated in her head once more. 

The disembodied voice that took residence in her mind startled her and images of what she believed was the route to his office projected into her mind; she was dumbfounded. As if she’d made the walk a dozen times, she now knew the way. Those who were moving around her, in the high traffic area, threw her concerned looks. Apparently, she was the only one who’d heard him. Ducking her head, she hurried quickly down the next hall to save herself from further humiliation.  

As she passed through busy corridors, she could examine a handful of different classrooms. There was no lack of diversity among the student's classrooms and it looked like they didn’t hide away the children whose mutations were visible. Some children could make the elements dance on their fingertips, objects move, and even themselves bend the laws of physics. It was an understatement to say that she was awed. That the building still stood, despite housing so many mutations, left her impressed. They explained what they were building here, when they’d met, but the reality was much more powerful. It moved her but also scared her. There were many more children than guardians and from what she was told the school experienced many times of inactivity. Only recently has the school celebrated a few years of stability. They invited her for this reason.

The school was a campus, with a variety of amenities. Rooms, kitchens, recreational areas, and even a library . Nerves of excitement fluttered within her as she made her way to Professor Xavier’s office. He’d come to her home not too long ago and now she was in his. This was his domain, and she was at a great disadvantage. He was difficult to read, and that was unnerving for someone like her who’d spent years observing others. He was a powerful mutant, and that made her wary of him, but she didn’t fully distrust him. Like the woman she’d spotted on the grounds, his presence also drew you in. He was persuasive, knew all the right things to say and read her like a book. She didn’t have a hard time believing that those with similar backgrounds congregated here and she briefly wondered how many people had heard the same pitch. 

The closer she got to her destination the more devoid of people it became. She was alone in the hall, so it wasn’t difficult for her to catch the back and forth between the two individuals on the other side of the shut office door, further down the corridor. 

“Don’t do this to me Professor. I have better things to do than have some pup nipping at my heels.” A rough male voice said.  

The first speaker was unfamiliar. The deep, accented voice sounded exasperated.   

“Logan, I wouldn’t ask you to do something if there was someone better suited to the task.” She recognized The Professor's voice.  

It didn’t sound like there was much room for argument with his tone, but Logan did not share her belief.  

“I’m not the nurturing type! Ask Ro, she’s great at this. Hell, call Scott! He can finally make himself useful.” Logan exclaimed. 

Neither name rang a bell in her head, but while there was respect for ‘Ro’ there was, apparently, no love lost between Logan and Scott.  

“My goodness Logan you would think I was asking you to be the chaperone to two love struck teenagers.” The Professor’s voice rose with incredulity.  

“Never again, Professor!” Logan quickly met him with an objection. 

There was a moment of pause before the sound of soft chuckles from both men floated through the door. Once the moment had passed, The Professor’s serious tone returned.  

“In all seriousness Logan, she’s… special.” 

By this point, she’d already figured they were likely discussing her arrival and who would fill the position of being her guide. It wasn’t unrealistic for her to assume The Professor knew that she had arrived outside the door. But it was clear he’d called Logan ahead of time to appoint him to the duty as well as to introduce them. She was more surprised that The Professor believed that the man she now knew as Logan would readily accept his request. Enough of his personality had shown that he wasn’t a simple person. But the professor’s frankness took her aback. Unabashed in calling her special as she stood by. It was kind of him to say even though she may not have viewed it as a positive. There may have been a time she thought she was, but it’d been quite some time since she thought of herself in favorable measure.  

 “We’re all pretty special Professor.” Logan’s sardonic tone cut through. 

 Her eyes rolled at the comment. She swore she could hear his smirk and figured Logan thought himself a funny man, but she couldn't bring herself to share the sentiment. As far as first impressions went, this one wasn’t shaping up to be the best, and she hadn’t even technically met him. Evidently, she hadn’t learned her lesson after years of eavesdropping on conversations she should have never heard. But here, she didn’t see the threat of death or punishment being a likely outcome if they caught her, so she continued to observe.

Logan may not have been easy, but the professor clearly wasn’t one to back down either. The weight of the silence was heavy within the office, and her anticipation grew. 

An exasperated sigh finally broke the drawn silence.  

“You know better than anyone that those who walk through these doors has a story, and they all need something different. What she needs is something you can provide best. You have a way about you Logan that even I don’t have.” The Professor said. 

The high praise caused her to raise an eyebrow, and she’d imagine Logan himself was likely stunned at the statement. From a man who seemed to do anything, that was a hell of a compliment.

“It helps that you have luck with the quiet ones.”  

The Professor's voice had taken on a light, teasing tone and she could hear a smile through his words. He clearly cared for Logan, and she was extremely curious to hear that story. Just the thought of the professor showing up to his door on a random night giving him the same pitch he’d given her made her silently snicker. She couldn’t imagine Logan being the type to be welcoming, or give in as easily as she had, but then again, she’d only known about him for less than a few minutes.  

She mentally had scoffed at the idea of being quiet, but understood as she kept her silent sentry outside the office doors. Wondering when she would be called in to introduce herself. She wondered, if in the silence that followed, the professor was giving Logan the same knowing look he’d given her when he’d found her. The one that convinced her, in a moment’s time, to make this the last place she disappeared to. 

The deeper sigh that broke the silence told her who the clear winner was, and she no longer felt so bad about being on the losing end of The Professor's persuasion.  

“Thank you, Logan, I promise you’ll find this more beneficial than you think.”  

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say Professor. Now will the rat hiding outside come in, already! The entire neighborhood could hear you breathing over the door handles!” Logan shouted through the doors. 

She jumped at being addressed. She couldn’t believe he’d called her a heavy breathing rat! Despite, indeed, hovering outside the office. She ignored the heat that rose to her cheeks and took hold of the ornate handles, entering the room.  

The office matched the rest of the mansion. With engraved wood furnishings, earth toned fabrics, and large paned windows that let in copious amounts of light. The energy in the room was comfortable and gave off a sense of security. It didn’t match the idea she had in her head when she thought of being called to ‘the principal's office’. But it helped calm her nerves, even if the feeling of wariness lingered, as she now stood inside the den of dozens of superpowered mutants, facing the one who led them.  

Professor Charles Xavier looked the same as when he approached her outside of her beat-up van. It was her home, her life for over a decade and the first time someone like him made their way to it. Despite his disability, when he first appeared she could sense there was something dangerous about him. Also, because no one approached suspicious isolated vans at night wearing a suit for no reason. And he didn’t come alone. The woman she’d spotted outside had been with him that night, watching them from afar in a similar garb. Her paranoia being at an all-time high, she thought they’d caught her.

Well, they had caught her, but it wasn’t by those who haunted her dreams. He’d shared with her they’d been searching for her for years but that her moving footprint made it difficult to track her. It wasn’t the most tactful thing to say to someone who’d avoided detection purposely, but she also shamelessly took pride because it seemed her tireless efforts were not in vain. But he’d quickly caught her attention after sharing the fact that he knew she was in danger and from what or who it was that she was running from. She had appreciated his forthrightness as he explained who he was, why he’d approached her, and what he could provide her.  

At the point she was in her life, she’d felt as if she’d lived multiple lifetimes. She was exhausted, tired of running, and many nights she’d asked herself why she even bothered. So, when the professor appeared with the promise of everything when she had nothing, it was the greatest risk she’d ever take or her last. Best-case scenario, it was both.  

Here they met for the second time. The easy setting made him appear less daunting and more approachable than the harsh light of a parking lot lamp post. He was a dapper older man, clean shaven with a youthful look. His face naturally creased from the effects of time but he didn’t have prominent worry lines. She thought his appearance supported an even and collected nature. While his overall appearance was welcoming, his eyes were unnerving. His serene smile did nothing to damper the intensity of his gaze. All-knowing, she thought. He intimidated her and rightfully so.  

“Alright kid, hurry and say your piece, The Professor and I have some business to discuss.” Logan spoke up. 

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes in front of her host, she turned to take in Logan and finally put a face to the name. From behind, his visage matched the bass in his voice. He was tall, regardless of the hunch he sported as his hands were dug into his pockets and he had a well-trained body. The stained white tank he sported wasn’t modest and left little to the imagination. His well-worn jeans and boots were an extreme contrast to The Professor’s suit. His hair was wild, almost as dark as hers, and shooting off in every direction. To her, his hair tufts resembled horns or even cat ears.  

An awfully fake cough concealing a short bark of laughter came from the professor’s direction. Surprised, she’d forgotten that he could be privy to her thoughts at will and became uncomfortable. Even so far as to take a physical step back towards the office doors. 

“Forgive me, my dear. Knowing your thoughts allows me to better quell your fears. I promise you I will not be looking for anything beyond what is necessary to ensure your comfort and safety. As well as those of the children.” Once more, his voice rang in her head. 

Just because she understood the reasoning didn’t mean it made her feel any better about it.  

“C’mon kid, we don’t have—” Logan began. 

As he turned to chastise her, he stopped himself after seeing her. She watched him as he processed she wasn’t a student, let alone anyone he’d seen before. She could see through his surprised expression that the gears in his head were turning. He eyed her warily, and she swore she’d seen his nostrils flare once or twice. She wondered if he’d thought of her as a threat that encroached on his territory. It seemed he was just as wary of her as she was of him and The Professor. She wasn’t one for confrontation but she’d learned that in the first few seconds of silence when meeting someone, there was more said than whatever followed. Furrowing her brow in response she returned the look. 

The sound of a clearing throat took them away from their silent standoff and she gave The Professor her full attention, stealing glances at Logan as he spoke.  

“Logan, this is Serena, the recent addition to our teaching staff I mentioned to you earlier.” Charles said, introducing her. 

 Serena faced Logan fully, extending her hand in introduction, tipping her head in acknowledgement as the professor introduced her. Logan eyed her hand briefly then her face with a guarded look before replacing it with a smirk and raised brow. Removing a hand from his pocket he wiped what she thought looked like motor oil or grease on his faded jeans before returning her greeting. The smug look on his face irked her, and she braced herself. Assuming he’d crush her hand in a brutish show of dominance.  

There weren’t many times in Serena’s life where she was glad to be wrong, but this was one of them. He took her hand in his gently and lightly shook it once before releasing it with a softness that surprised her. He held her sharp gaze all the while and when her expression shifted, his smirk deepened. Annoyed, she dropped her hand with less care. Still feeling the warmth from his hand and roughness of his palms as he slid his hand from hers, she crossed her arms to quell the feeling. Averting her gaze, she turned back towards the seated gentleman.  

“Well, Professor, you weren’t lying about the quiet part.” Logan mocked. 

He mirrored her stance and crossed his arms. Leaning back into his full height. The move made Serena feel as if he was sizing her up and stood taller in response. Logan noticed and showed her a toothy smile. Not even had she known him a day, and she wanted to throttle him. The professor must’ve seen something in her face or read her violent thoughts and took the chance to continue his earlier introduction.  

“Logan, behave yourself. She’s going to be our new Music instructor. You know how long the children have been asking for one.”  

In response, she’d knelt to retrieve her favorite new gift the professor had given her when they’d first met. It was a life-changing tool that had heavily influenced her decision to come to the school. A bribe at its core but still a gift. It was more advanced than anything she’d seen before and imagined it’d cost a fortune.  

While she rummaged in her bag, the two men were silent. A brief glance showed her the two men intensely focused on one another. She figured they were holding a mental conversation she was not a part of. After pulling out a square tablet and tinkering with it for a few moments an unfamiliar voice joined the conversation.  

“I promise to teach the children to the best of my abilities and only ask for patience in return.” A disembodied voice flooded the room.  

She’d dubbed it her ‘talking assistant’ and it meant everything to her. She treasured it. Even if it may have sounded like something unholy was being blended. The sound broke whatever silent conversation was being had between the two men and for as quickly as Logan snapped his head in her direction she’d hoped he pulled something. The incredulous look he gave her brought a devilish smile to her face.  

If Logan hadn’t clearly expressed his annoyance before, he hoped his irritation was now apparent to everyone in the room. He wasn’t the type to be shy about expressing how he felt. The new kid or Serena as The Professor had introduced, was clearly a brat regardless of her age. Not only did he have better things to do but now he was being asked to babysit a haunted fucking Speak and Spell.  

“Logan.” The Professor said his name with such censure; he figured the professor heard his crude thoughts but didn’t find the connection as funny as he did. 

“Not at all.” Charles followed up. 

“Professor!”  

“Logan, please.” Charles took their conversation telepathically as his voice rang in Logan’s head.  

He knew The Professor wouldn’t back off easily. Not that he ever did. 

“Don’t ‘Logan, please.’ Me!” Logan answered mentally. 

There was a brief, tense silence before The Professor continued.

“I need you to watch over her, Logan.”   

If Charles would’ve requested that from anyone other than him he wouldn’t have batted an eye but because he was almost desperately requesting Logan’s guardianship, it didn’t sit well with him. The Professor rarely needed anything from anyone, let alone him, unless… It was something big. If he was involving Logan, it meant that there was a serious threat. His mind fell silent in anticipation except for the thrumming of his heartbeat, which sounded off like an alarm.

“Professor...” Logan let his address trail off. 

Luckily, The Professor was quick to address him.

“They’re after her Logan... They have been for a long time and so have we. It was by chance and opportunity that we could finally catch her when we did. Luckily. Not only for us but for her as well.” Charles gave him a heavy look. 

Logan understood what the professor was trying to convey to him. He was very familiar with how this story went. It hadn’t been too long since the same happened to Rogue. Her screams still haunted him even years past the ordeal, and even she hadn’t been the same since. He still carries the guilt with him even if Rogue already made it clear to him that there was nothing to forgive. But Logan knew he was still responsible; he promised her, and he couldn’t even hold that promise for more than a few seconds. Magneto or not. He still punished himself for it, punishes himself for the things he’s done, hasn’t done, and the people he’s lost …  

“Logan.”  

A pitying voice was the last thing he wanted to hear. That would only ignite the anger in him and it wouldn’t be fair to unleash that on some girl that had no clue about the shit show she just stepped into.  

“C’mon, kid. I’ll take you around.” He said aloud. 

He was already turning away and towards the door. Signaling the end to the conversation between him and Charles. The Professor wouldn’t press him and understood that this was his way of agreeing. Logan felt his eyes on his back as he headed out the office, and didn’t bother to check if the girl was following him. He didn’t need to see her to know that she was grabbing her bag and excusing herself from the professor’s office.  

“We’ll speak about the details tomorrow morning, Serena. You’ve had quite the day already. Take the rest of the day to settle into your space.” The Professor said kindly.  

Logan heard no response after and was thankful he didn’t have to hear her device go off again. But unfortunately for him the peace was short-lived. They were making their way down the corridor and out of the secluded hall when he heard the clicking of her nails against that demonic toy of hers.  

“I’m not a kid.” She stated through her device. 

“Everyone’s a kid to me, kid .” He said with a grin.  

He would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy grating other’s nerves with that. There was no one here who could contest his seniority and if he didn’t relish that fact, he wouldn’t be himself. It was the least life could do for him when he couldn’t even remember most of it. That blank part of his mind frustrated him to no end and even if a part of him felt he’d forgotten for a reason, the rest of him felt the constant feeling of missing something. He’d been able to access parts but Logan didn’t believe it’d ever be enough. But for as much as he’d searched it was difficult for him to make peace with the fact that it most likely would have to. And Logan had no problem, making it everyone's problem.

The kid may not say a word, but she didn’t have to with that sorry excuse of a poker face. All it took was one look at her and he knew she wanted to strangle him. That had to be a record for him. Usually, he had to break people down over time before they lost their patience with him and started wishing him physical harm. He quietly chuckled to himself. He may have been everyone’s senior, but he sure as hell didn’t act like it. She was all pouts, furrowed brows, and sharp eyes. It made him want to push her buttons until they jammed, so he picked up his pace. She was shorter than him but an average height for a woman, so she’d have to put in extra effort to keep pace with him. 

The sound of clicking nails elicited an eye roll from him, but not before he noticed the increased speed in her tapping.  

“My name is Serena, not Kid.” She messaged. 

“Got it, bub”  

“Serena.”  

“Heard, little lady.”  

“Serena.”

Logan didn’t respond.

“Serena. Serena. Serena”

The awful toy repeated her name multiple times causing Logan to fold over and fall into a fit of laughter. Between the huffing, puffing, and furious tapping of her fingers he found he couldn’t hold character. She was such a brat! All she needed to do was accept that she wouldn’t win against him and let him have his way. Just like everyone else did. He was stubborn with having his way so others rarely tried to go against him or what he wanted. Except for Charles of course, and someone else that was much more stubborn than him... 

It didn’t miss Logan that it'd been a while since he’d laughed that freely. He rarely went beyond the periodic chuckle or snort. But it was just the two of them in this hallway, and she didn’t know a thing about who he was or how he was supposed to act. Between his breaks for air, he heard her as she came around to confront him, sneakers tapping lightly against the wood-stained floors. 

Lucky, or perhaps unluckily, for her, confronting Logan was one of the many ways to get him fired up and his favorite thing. He even took the time to wipe at fake tears as he stood up to be addressed, knowing it would agitate her further and after watching her reaction he knew he’d succeeded. Logan loved it. Her face glowed with the heat of her anger and her dark eyes shined with fury. It didn’t help that her scowl made her lower lip swell charmingly. Resting his hands on his waist, he cocked his head to the side, waiting for the sound reminiscent of that of a drowning weasel. When no sound came and she made no move other than to bore holes into his face with her glaring look, he spoke up.  

“Thanks for the laugh, sweetheart.”  

With an offended gasp and admonishing look she bowed her head to deliver another message. Before she could, Logan quickly stopped her by catching her hand. It’d happened too quickly for her to avoid him, and he felt her flinch in his grasp. He knew he hadn’t hurt her, but he’d clearly offended her by the scandalized look she gave him.  

“Serena. I got it.” Logan held her gently and lowered his face to her level as he addressed her genuinely. 

He watched as her eyebrows almost took flight. Eyes wide like saucers, she openly stared into his own. Taken aback by her surprising reaction he mirrored her stare. The silence was deafening, and the air was still between them. Her long curled lashes framed almost black irises. He struggled to find her pupils and found himself lost in his search. Large, upturned eyes investigated him, and he wondered what they looked for. His senses heightened as he focused in on the scent that came from her, the same one that’d he’d picked up the moment she’d entered the office earlier. She smelled of sunshine and warmth. The scent of comfort, and it reminded him of sweeter things. But she also smelled of fear and pain. It wasn’t fresh or something he’d caused, this was something that had established itself deep under her skin, something that festered. The aroma sometimes hung around the children that freshly entered this school and thankfully dissipated with time but it was a scent Logan never liked to pick up. Nothing good ever came from that fragrance and it never failed to worsen his feeling of something important being forgotten. 

The erratic fluttering of her lashes broke the spell between them, and she snatched her hand from his slack grip. Cradling the hand he’d just held to her chest, she stepped back and turned from him. Logan didn’t like that. He scowled and wondered what she’d seen that’d elicit such a negative reaction. What did she see? A man with an insufferable ego or one that didn’t even know who he was? It bothered something deep inside him. She’d acted as if he’d hurt her and he now felt as if he was being shunned. She said and did nothing as she hid herself from him. Her inaction made him feel insecure and guilty that somehow maybe he had hurt her. Insecurity, guilt, or fear were emotions that never sat well with Logan. In that moment, his discomfort pressed him to create a problem with her, and with her back turned to him, the instinctual part of him wanted to show her why she should never turn away from a predator, especially if injured.

 A shake of her tight curls accompanied by a grating familiar voice, interrupted his reach for her.  

“Continue the tour.” 

She made no other acknowledgement besides throwing a coy look at him over her shoulder. She gave him a brief but pointed look before turning from him once again and he shook off the influence of his inner nature. The underlying smell of fear still lingered on her but there were no emerging scents revealing she wasn’t okay. Logan was more than willing to move on from whatever had just happened after she broke the uncomfortable tension that hung in the air. She was an odd one, that was for sure, and Logan was getting the feeling that he was in for it now, but he found he didn’t mind. It'd been a while since something, or someone had come around this place and brought some life back into it. Lord knows this place had been too somber, and that meant something coming from him. They’d lost enough, and it’d clearly been affecting the children. Even if half the time he wanted nothing to do with this place, too many memories, he knew that change didn’t take well here. The Professor was the headteacher for a reason, because what better way to lift spirits than with music and a fresh addition. Not that he was looking forward to the screeching of badly played instruments and off-key notes. The thought made him wince. He would need to make it a point to learn Serena’s teaching schedule and avoid those days.  

“As you wish, princess.” He said as he strode past her with a halfhearted bow.  

He stole a quick glance up at her from under his dark lashes; she was scowling again. Smirking with satisfaction, he quickly straightened back up and turned on his heel, continuing forward at a speedy pace. He heard a disgruntled sound come from behind before he heard the padding of sneakered feet. A devious grin graced his face as he led her to where her quarters would be. 

They’d made their way to their first stop without incident and Logan broke the silence with the announcement of their arrival.

“I’m assuming this will be your classroom, since it’s the only room with a piano in it and all that.”  

He’d brought them to another room that had carved wooden walls and large windows that let the sunshine in, with a view of the back of the mansion. The room routinely hosted a beautiful view of the sunset; she was lucky to call it hers.  

“No one really uses this room. Well, not that I know of, but you can probably tell by all the shit that’s lying around in here. I’m sure the professor will somehow rope me into getting this room cleared out for you.” As he spoke it didn’t seem as if she was hearing him.  

As soon as he opened the door to the room, her eyes began to scan and drink in the room. She had slowly made her way to the windows against the wall that overlooked the recreational areas where the children played. The land stretched on into the distance and into the surrounding forest. He knew how she felt, he’d felt the same when he had first arrived. Logan watched as she went flush against the window, placing a hand on the glass. He bit back a snarky comment about leaving fingerprints and opted to let her have her moment. Logan came up beside her quietly but far enough as to not disturb her. Everyone who entered this school had their moment. How could they not? There were children outside playing, laughing, and simply loving life. Not only that, but they were also mutants. Mutants were free in this space, it wasn’t perfect, but it was a far cry from what awaited them beyond these walls. From what he could remember he couldn’t think of ever seeing or even hearing about anything similar in his lifetime. He took it in just as she did and closed his eyes, letting the sun soak into his skin. He inhaled deeply and found her comforting scent again. The feeling of peace and tranquility settled over him. Quiet, the professor called her but just because she couldn’t speak didn’t mean everything else about her was. She was a spitfire.  

He wondered what her mutation was. Did it affect her ability to speak? He had little more time to theorize as the smell of salt cut through the air. His attention snapped to the woman beside him. She was as still as a statue except for the tears that rolled slowly down her cheeks and her quickened breath. Logan felt damned and panicked. Crying, especially crying women was not his forte, he isn’t proud of it but he’s usually the one causing it, not stopping it. He felt extremely awkward. Exchanging his weight between his legs, he was unsure whether to leave or stay. 

Logan reminded himself that she was his responsibility and went with a firm hold on the shoulder, a classic. Not wanting to make her uncomfortable he turned his attention back out to the fields as the sun set. It really was a bonus of living here, being able to watch the sky burst into a rainbow of color before the day ended. He heard the fabric of her clothes rustle but refused to look at her until her shoulder shook. Logan cursed the gods believing he’d made it worse. He threw ‘Plan A’ out the window and went in with his ‘Plan B’, the double shoulder grab, another classic, and brought her to face him. She covered her face with her hands, a crown of curls shielding her.  

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. C’mon now I thought you said you weren’t a kid.” He said with a light shake to her shoulders.  

Logan was regretting staying and trying to be supportive. Cursing himself for not minding his own business. He wondered if staying at the school so often had made him softer. Until he realized the muffled noises he was hearing weren’t sobs but muffled laughter. Now, it was his turn to be embarrassed, and he was usually shameless. 

He reacted with a light shove of annoyance, causing her to shake with even more suppressed laughter.  

“Alright, alright! Really little girl, aren’t you supposed to be a teacher?”  

Her giggling stopped as she gave him a judgmental look. 

“Point made.” Logan said with a toothy grin.  

“Now let’s get you to where you’ll be staying, you crybaby.” 

Logan couldn’t believe she’d gotten him with something so simple. The last thing he’d imagined was that she’d mess with him when she’d barely known him. But it wasn’t unwelcomed when so many here walked eggshells around him like he'd slice them in half if they looked in his direction. Logan knew he had a temper, but he wasn’t some wild animal. Yes, he annoyed easily and preferred to be left alone but he didn’t bite unless provoked. The kids, outside of Rogue, didn’t really approach him even if she did so freely. And with his teammates sometimes it felt as if they just tolerated him because the professor wanted him there. Logan couldn’t confidently say what others thought of him because he ultimately did not care. He did as he pleased and however others felt about it was their problem.

He made to flee the scene as she enjoyed herself at his expense. But wanted to ensure that he could at least get the last laugh.

“Oh, and before I forget. Your nose is running.” He said over his shoulder, as he passed her on the way out the door.

With the sound of an alarmed gasp and the furious rustling of fabric behind him, Logan left the room with a laugh of triumph. The girl was fun all right, and he no longer found the idea of watching over her as bothersome as he initially believed it would be. 

Midnight had long since passed but Serena’s mind was active despite her exhaustion. She’d made herself thoroughly comfortable since being shown to her room. As soon as she was alone, she’d locked her door and checked the entire room for anything that looked off. Recently dusted surfaces, fresh linens, and miniature toiletries were all she found. But she had almost cried when she found a personal bathroom waiting for her. Living out of her van had gotten her used to truck stops and gas station showers. When money was right, a couple days in a motel. They got the job done, and she was thankful for them, but it wasn’t a personal bathroom. She finally had a little space she could make her own. Her own space to feel clean and to keep clean. To fill with anything her heart desired, now that she’d have a steady stream of income. Whether it would last, Serena decided she’d make the most of it while it was hers.

She’d stayed in the bath long after her fingers pruned. Then spent the rest of her evening watching the sunset through the bay window in her room. Watched until the sherbet colors faded and made way for the sparkling midnight sky. She’d even gotten into bed wearing the soft cotton pajamas they’d left out on the bed for her and waited for sleep to come but it never did. Her mind was active with her new reality and all that she’d seen. She wondered when the last time she slept in an actual bed and not a shoddy cot in the back of her van was. It was a question she knew the answer to but didn’t want to think too hard about. At least not for tonight. It was supposed to be a happy day for her. The answer to unspoken prayers that had gone unanswered throughout the years. The most proper job she’d ever had, and for as much as she knew, it was safe. No seedy characters or shady jobs that had no problem hiring someone who didn’t speak and had no traceable background for dangerous jobs. No longer having to risk her life just to live another day. She felt she should celebrate, but she wanted to curl up into a ball and cry instead. 

The feeling of anxiety had made itself comfortable under her skin. She could only continue to question and ask herself if she truly was safe. Dozens of unknown mutants surrounded her, and she questioned if she was living with a false sense of security. Serena wondered if she should have felt a sense of camaraderie now that she was around on her own but the familiar feeling of loneliness persisted. It gnawed at her, deep within her bones. Fear and loneliness had been constant companions to her over the years. She’d kept to herself and didn’t get close to anyone. She didn’t ask questions and minded her business. Took her pay and never spoke of it to anyone. The position she found herself in didn’t allow her to get close to anyone for long before she was gone again. Off to find the next town where no one knew or cared to know her. Anyone who had, most likely thought she was dead or was dead. The hope she felt in her heart this evening was a stark contrast to what she'd felt at the front gates of the academy this morning. And yet, a deep dark part of her felt that a monster like her didn't deserve any of it. She’d suffered for a reason. That she was a killer, a murderer, and one that didn’t deserve to live. 

It was more than she could have asked for and the last thing she expected the night Charles Xavier appeared outside her van, hidden in the corner of an abandoned parking lot. He offered her an opportunity and a future. A chance to lie down roots without the threat of having to leave after a few months. Told her they had room for her and even a job. She initially became angry and thought him one of those religious posing scammers. The ones that promised help to the homeless then spirited them away never to be seen again. She’d been on the streets long enough to know all the tricks and was thankful for those who pitied the young girl she was. Enough to warn her of the dangers. But they hadn’t warned her about people who could show you what dreams looked like. He was a mutant like she was and there were more just like them living here. Told her how they routinely found others just like her. Showed her the things he could do, and she believed maybe he could protect her from what chased her. Then he’d looked into her and told her what he knew. She thought that her time had come, and the reaper wore a well-tailored suit. But he wasn't her reaper, nor did he pass judgement on her. He even tried to comfort her, but it didn’t matter to her because no matter what he said, she’d damned herself and there was nothing he could do to convince her otherwise. Eventually, she'd realized he had no need for her past except for one of her buried passions, and that was music. By that point in their conversation, she knew that there was nothing she could hide from him, and she would be a fool to turn down his offer. Serena, a teacher. She couldn’t have ever planned this for herself and a music teacher at that! She’d ask herself what she’d done to deserve this but maybe it was just a reprieve from her suffering, and she prayed to anyone that’d listen that she hoped she’d paid the price for her mistakes. That this was forgiveness from something bigger than her when she couldn’t forgive herself. Next thing she’d known she’d booked the first flight out of the town she was in, courtesy of Charles Xavier. 

Though the negative emotions plagued her, a small seed of hope grew. Maybe this time she could find some peace and community. There were times she felt childish that she still craved connection at her age. Even when she’d seen the hurt and pain it could bring, she still craved it. When she saw the children, she felt a part of her that was envious. The ones that were found soon enough, unlike her, but she didn’t want those feelings to feed into something unhealthy. She knew the what ifs would haunt her and did her best not to let her mind wander down that road since there was nothing waiting for her there. But what she could do was be thankful that she was here now. Serena didn’t want to sour this for herself more than she already had, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d cried so much. It felt as if she’d been living in a perpetual state of limbo for years and had finally broken free. As if she’d held her breath for so long and now that she exhaled, she couldn’t stop gasping for air. She was tired of shedding tears so she racked her brain for something else to distract her and the something that invaded her thoughts was Logan. Now that was certainly a distraction. 

Irritating. Is what she would call him. Serena saw him as a headstrong bully. Where she craved peace, he craved chaos, and she believed a part of him knew it too. She knew his type and usually avoided them but here she didn’t have to tolerate the bullying. Logan seemed to be mostly tame, otherwise she couldn’t imagine Professor Xavier allowing him to be here. So, she felt a little bolder when defending herself. His tactics were childish and harmless, mostly. Between his name calling and attempts to embarrass her she felt confident enough to push back, believing that no actual harm would come to her. If she’d met him in the back alleys, she used to scurry around, she would have never even crossed his path. But this was a new life and a new opportunity, why couldn’t she be more than what she was. Maybe even what she once was... and it felt a bit liberating. Despite his image and crude mannerisms, he had shown her he could be gentle even if unpolished. Any time he’d touched her or grabbed her she’d expected rough carelessness, but it was quite the opposite. His holds and touches were mindful. As if he was always aware of how much pressure he applied. And when she’d break contact, she didn’t have to provide much resistance. Serena was used to rough treatment and carelessness of her person but usually there wasn’t much she could do but accept it. She even appreciated his gentleness when he tried to comfort her earlier. From the moment she’d entered the classroom, reality hit her like a train. She hadn’t seen let alone touched an instrument in years, yet it would now be her job. A classroom that she has ownership and responsibility over. And the children that lived as freely as they could in this pocket of what seemed like heaven to her, would be her students. She hadn’t noticed the tears that fell from her eyes until she felt a hand on her shoulder. That one was heavy with intent and when she’d looked at him, he’d avoided her gaze, discomfort plain on his face. She'd given him an appreciative smile, but he’d kept his gaze averted. As he kept vigil, his strong features stood out in his profile and were enticing, but he was trouble if Serena ever saw it. And though she’d fallen asleep that night vowing to stay away from it, trouble always had a way of finding its way back into her life.

Chapter Text

Relief washed over Serena as she completed another successful school day. It’d been several weeks since she’d first arrived, and her orientation began soon after her first day. She prepared to lead her own classroom by spending most of her time shadowing the other professors, trying to learn as much as she could from them. Because she knew that without a degree, she wouldn’t have been able to teach elsewhere, and the amount of trust they’d had in her was unnerving. She was a teacher here solely because Charles Xavier willed it, and those that followed him only needed his word to trust her. Though one might consider his ability to scour someone’s brain enough to influence their trust. Despite his approval, she couldn’t help but battle against a sense of inferiority and inadequacy compared to her colleagues. They were like no one she’d met before, and their presence was extraordinary. When she shadowed them, it sometimes felt literal, but it allowed her to see the admiration the children had for their leaders, and it wasn’t difficult to understand why. It wasn’t until she’d become more familiar with them that her sense of inadequacy lessened as she realized they were human just as she was.

She’d often found herself under Ororo’s tutelage and admired her as someone who didn’t have a formal education since, despite that being the case, no one could deny her intelligence. Although quieter than the others and sharing few details of her past, Ororo said she spent most of her life at The Professor’s side. It’d explain why she was well-versed in a variety of topics. Impressed, Serena wanted to emulate Ororo and her teachings, an innate motivation to prove herself worthy of the opportunity growing inside her. When paired with her, Serena paid rapt attention and grew a similar sense of admiration towards the woman as the students she taught. She even found Ororo to be a kindred spirit, serene and steady, but despite being similar in age, Serena hesitated to start a relationship outside of their professional one. She was a busy woman who helped Charles with the school’s management, and Serena was too timid to ask for more of her time. 

Over the past several weeks, Serena often frustrated herself as she struggled to make meaningful connections. She was a grown woman, yet realized that over the years, her social skills had declined, and she couldn’t recall how she’d connected in her past. These days, it was becoming common for her to feel uncomfortable in her skin. She’d gone from living a life of obscurity to now having to present herself to others on a day-to-day basis. While it was now second nature for her to isolate herself, as natural to change as one grows, it saddened her to have changed so much, and she still spent nights mourning the loss of herself. Recent years hadn’t allowed her the luxury of exploring her hopes or aspirations. Who or what she wanted to be, but she knew her childhood dreams were gone, and it was time she moved in a new direction. Yet, putting it into action was proving to be more challenging than she originally expected, but she found comfort in how everyone she’d met so far had taken their time with her. 

Serena enjoyed socializing at school; it fed into a sense of normalcy she sought, and Ororo wasn’t the only teacher she’d become familiar with. She’d even met the infamous trickster, Kurt, which she wouldn’t have believed since upon their introduction, he was quite gentlemanly. Serena would even say he was the politest person she’d met so far. She’d be none the wiser if she hadn’t witnessed his pranks firsthand. Luckily, his tricks never targeted her, and she wondered if his strong faith might have called him to pity her. Whatever his reasons, she was thankful since she’d never been a fan of pranks, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t a fan of him. No one could deny that he kept the place lively and generated more laughter than anger. She had also met Scott, since she’d first seen him on the school grounds. Like Ororo, he’d been one of the longest-tenured individuals at the school, and he’d kindly welcomed her. He was nice, if not reserved. There weren’t many times she’d interacted with him, but from the whispers she’d picked up around the school, his behavior wasn’t typical. She’d heard he’d become somewhat of a recluse in the past several years, only appearing periodically to lead some classes. 

But Serena read between the lines and picked up on some unspoken things lingering within the school. Things like who Jean was. She hadn’t seen traces of her, but heard her name come up in conversation. Though when it did, the topic changed. Serena assumed she was no longer with them and that it may not have been too long since she’d gone. She found it sad that there were so many who knew her yet didn’t speak of her. Serena’s curiosity gnawed at her, but she held back, unwilling to overstep. If Serena knew anything, it was that the truth would always come out, especially when given room. 

Beyond the teachers, Serena learned a lot over the last several weeks regarding her new employer and his charges. She couldn’t have imagined what lay beneath the mansion and what they had access to. The Professor had mentioned a certain team he had put together to empower and protect mutants when they’d met, but there was too much to discuss without enough time. The idea of an association between a school for mutants and a lethal mutant team didn’t sit well with her. Serena’s past wasn’t perfect; however, she would never take part in grooming children for war. Though reassured by Charles, a sense of unease lingered, making her determined to remain watchful. It was much easier to be shown what he meant once she arrived, and, more believable. The facilities and technologies that lay beneath the school left her astonished. The sight of the jet alone left her amazed. Her tablet seemed like child’s play compared to what they had access to, and she had endless questions but stuck with what she knew, asking none. The Professor even showed her his ability to locate her. Cerebro was the stuff of dreams and nightmares. Like The Professor himself, Serena found it made her uneasy despite the praise it received. That so much unbridled power was only being reigned in by his conscious decision to use his gifts for good. She’d prayed every day that her instincts hadn’t failed her. Until now, nobody had expressed regret about coming. At least, those remaining thought so.  

It hadn’t been until recently that she had hosted private lessons to students who signed up. Since it’d be her first time teaching, both she and The Professor agreed that it’d make the most sense for her to take things one step at a time. While she may have lost many skills, playing was not one, and she found solace in that. The actual teaching was an ongoing journey, and as they say, experience is the best teacher. She already had a fine-tuned piano that she could teach lessons on, courtesy of a Dr. Hank McCoy, the Secretary of Mutant Affairs. Another member of this team she had not yet met, but another surprise she wasn’t expecting. After learning about their acquaintance, what she found most surprising was learning how they’d known each other rather than the fact that they did. Given all the surprises, Serena questioned what other connections this school and its people had access to.

“I’ll catch you later, Miss Mar! Let me know if you have questions!” Shaken from her thoughts, one of Serena’s students rushed out of the classroom, phasing through the door with a smile and a wave over her shoulder. 

Gone before Serena thanked her, Kitty had been helping her use her tablet in a variety of practical ways. She’d helped Serena with short recordings and even some visuals for Serena’s lessons. Serena was grateful since these were skills you hired professionals for, and Kitty just offered by saying it was “her thing”. Serena was indebted to her, regardless of how many times the younger girl brushed it off. Not only did she tinker with her tablet during lessons, Kitty would also stay a while after, going on about anything and everything, but Serena didn’t mind. She enjoyed listening to Kitty’s frivolous teenage complaints, welcoming the idea that she was experiencing a typical teenage-hood. Serena suspected Kitty’s signup stemmed from curiosity, and assumed she had heard the whisperings about the new teacher that didn’t speak. Serena herself couldn’t deny that it’d pique her interest too, and it wasn’t surprising when she’d become a hot topic at an academy full of teens. 

In reality, she spent her first session being interrogated by Kitty until the young girl took her tablet and started fiddling with it. Kitty offered various ideas and feedback regarding what she could do or options she could explore in her teaching. At some point, Kitty self-proclaimed herself Serena’s teacher’s assistant. Serena even considered requesting The Professor endorse it as an official duty, offering part of her pay to create an allowance for Kitty. In her heart of hearts, Serena knew Kitty’s companionship rekindled the simple joys of her childhood. That life was predictable and typical. There weren’t any dangers lurking beyond these walls, and all that she needed to worry about was how she was going to explain Kitty’s nonexistent piano skills to The Professor.  

“Miss Mar, huh?” Serena jumped, hearing a chuckle from across the room.

As she whirled around to identify who it was, she saw the devil himself leaning against the doorway to her classroom. 

He looked all the bit satisfied at giving her a scare with what she was labeling his trademark smirk and raised eyebrow. “My goodness, Miss Mar, it seems you’ve seen a ghost.” 

It came as no surprise that Logan was already starting his antics. Serena tried not to be baited by the way he was referring to her by her “teacher name”. She turned from him, but hesitated when the view he brought with him dampened her irritation. Serena figured Logan must have just ridden in on his motorcycle because he still wore his leather jacket. He sported a flannel, unbuttoned at the top, that clung to him, damp from the settled fog. The sight of his windswept hair called for her touch, but she feigned disinterest and looked away. She was mute, not blind, so she opted to ignore him as she began shuffling scores that went untouched during her and Kitty’s session.  

“Oh, don’t be like that sweetheart, you’re breaking my heart. After I came all this way to check on you.” His accent was thick, and the sound made her neck prickle. 

She chanced a glance at him over her shoulder and regretted it in an instant. He was waiting for her attention to clutch at his chest and stumble over to catch himself on one of her tables. She scoffed noisily as she rolled her eyes at him and focused on making herself look busy. He hadn’t taken the hint as she listened to him approach and settle into the seat that was nearest her desk. She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he made himself comfortable.  

He seemed to be in a playful mood as he settled into the seat. “Come on, I know you missed me.” 

Now that Serena thought about it, she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Logan during the last several weeks. While still chilly in the mornings, spring was now in full swing, and she was now realizing he hadn’t been present for any springtime activities. She sometimes wondered about him, yet her preparations for the start of her classes consumed her thoughts. 

Her face gave her away, causing him to give a gloomy response. “Ouch.” 

She felt guilty, so she looked away, distracting herself with a different stack of papers, silently asking him to leave. Unfortunately for her, he lingered, and she speculated about what he wanted. She wondered if he held the same curiosity for her she held for him. The thought of interacting further with Logan left her conflicted, as he had when they’d first met. His annoying and brash yet attentive nature had left her with conflicting emotions, as her curiosity got the better of her, despite her better judgment.

He observed her intently before speaking again. “Well, it looks like Kitty at least has been enjoying her lessons. How has everything been going?” 

She was pleased he’d asked with, surprisingly, genuine curiosity, and gave him a warm smile as a response. 

He looked after her for a moment before returning a smile of his own, no longer brooding. “That’s good. I’m glad it’s going well.”  

She watched as he cast his attention out the window, contemplating something she couldn’t guess. She followed his line of sight and thought that he must’ve had a great internal clock, as the sun began setting. A display of color had spread across the dimming sky, and she’d turned back to Logan expecting additional peppering of questions, but he was still observing. In the times she’s interacted with him, he hadn’t been without a furrowed brow often, and so seeing his softened features was a treat. His eyes were the first thing she’d noticed about him, since they were deep and familiar. Logan’s eyes held shadows and sorrow like the ones she faced in the mirror every day. Like his personality, his features sat proudly on his face. His strong nose and chin, always raised when teasing her, were framed by loose hairs that had fallen from his unruly cut, brushing his brow. She noticed the thickness of his hair and how it was everywhere. Down his neck, down his chest, and knew it had to be down his—. “God Damn, I might need to file a complaint with The Professor with the level of eye-fucking you’re doing right now!” 

His expression showed satisfaction and mirth when her gaze met his. Frozen, she resembled a deer caught in headlights. Serena couldn’t remember the last time she’d been caught red-handed. She wanted to die on the spot! She abandoned her papers as she tried using her hands and impassioned gasps to explain it away as if it were a misunderstanding, when it clearly wasn’t. Logan caught her, and the fact he wasn’t buying anything she threw his way made her even more flustered. He exploded in barks of laughter following her enthusiastic game of charades, and she wondered if she could break the glass if she were to jump out the window. He would never let her live this down, and his obnoxious laughter confirmed that thought. Whether it be because of her overwhelming discomfort or the outright silliness of the situation, she found herself affected by his laughter. It was infectious, so she followed suit. Between her muffled mirth and his boisterous barks, there was a warmth kindling in the room. A spirit of levity and freedom existed between them. And of all outcomes, she liked this one best. 

As his laughter calmed, he raised himself and approached her as he clutched his stomach. “Damn, I can count on you for a good laugh or two.” 

It made her eyes crinkle, and he extended a hand out to reach her. “C’mon, let me hear it. You ain’t got the words, but you’ve got the giggles. Promise I won’t make fun of you if you’ve got an ugly laugh. Well, maybe just a little.” 

His boyish smile didn’t stop her from having a visceral reaction to his request. She recalled unpleasant memories, and a feeling of dread washed over her as she immediately withdrew at the thought of activating her mutation. The joy in the room died along with her reaction. His face registered surprise, then a hurt that mirrored the ache sprouting in her chest. She hated that the warmth that had blossomed in the room had dissipated. It was times like these that caused her the most frustration. When she found herself voiceless at crucial times. That even when she wanted to, fear gripped her throat tighter, and stopped her from expressing herself. Regardless of what she wanted. The frustration made her eyes burn, and she watched his nose flare, reminiscent of the first time they had met. 

She watched as panic filled his eyes. “Whoa, hey Serena. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have gone and reached for you like that.” 

He went to reach for her again but hesitated, and she assumed he’d misunderstood her reaction. Aware of his relationship with Rogue, she suspected he believed her touch-averse, or worse. 

He tried excusing himself as he moved to leave. “I just stopped by to check on things, but it looks like you’ve got things handled. I’ll go on and get out of your hair.”

Logan may be a bit of a pain in her back end, but he wasn’t bad-natured. Despite their initial friction, she found a sense of ease and belonging in their playful bickering, especially given her loneliness. She wasn’t sure if she could count Kitty as a friend since she was almost twice her age. She thought it’d be odd if she assumed Kitty thought of her that way when she had just been nice to her. Everyone was nice, but she was new to a place with long-established relationships and history. Scott was going through something and kept to himself. Ororo was so busy and devoted to helping The Professor run the school that their paths rarely crossed. And Kurt… Well, Kurt was Kurt. While Logan was hardly ever at the school, he was still someone who was a part of the sense of community she was hoping to build here. She cherished its growth. It was still in the early stages, and she wasn’t making as much progress as she had hoped, but the bridge to Logan wasn’t one she wanted to risk burning. Especially when he was the one in charge of watching over her. Just because she had spent so long alone didn’t mean she enjoyed it, and Serena had every intention of going against the habits she’d formed while living a detached lifestyle.  

Her hand shot out, gripping his wrist as he turned to leave. Her long nails digging into his skin. There was a strange sensation in her grip, but dismissed it as she tried to convey as much emotion as she could solely through expression. He turned back to her, surprise on his face, as she silently begged him to stay. They faced one another as she willed him to receive her intention. His expression was neutral, a stark contrast to her desperate one, and as if Logan remembered something, his focus turned to the hold she had on him. He tried to tug her off delicately, but she tightened her grasp. 

He didn’t meet her eyes as he muttered. “I got the message, darling. I’m going anywhere. But you’re going to hurt yourself.” 

Compelled to trust him, she relaxed her grip, allowing him to pull free. He continued to hold her hand in his even after she’d released him. She watched as he flipped her hand palm up, taking it into both his hands. The contrast between their hands was apparent, and it was surprising to note that his larger hands were softer than hers. Where she had scars and raised skin, his were clear, yet he still cradled it between his own as if she’d never experienced so much as a broken nail. A wave of tenderness washed over her, causing her throat to tighten and her breath to catch. He looked at her hand with an expression she couldn’t describe and began pressing into it with his thumbs, working the muscle. Serena had not expected it and jerked in his grasp. It felt like lightning had burst from her palm and hit every part of her body, making her squirm. He seemed indifferent to her predicament and continued kneading.  

He released a sigh before addressing her once more. “There’s a lot of hardware under there. You could’ve hurt yourself.”  

As he spoke, she was aware of growing stiffness as she tried to move her hand while he held it. But hardware? She wasn’t sure she understood as she looked between him and his wrist in confusion.

“Well, I guess it’s not like you would’ve known. I’m surprised you didn’t already hear about it.” 

He raised a fist toward the ceiling, flexing, causing what looked like three foot-long blades to unsheathe from his knuckles. She gasped as he released them. 

She’d been curious about his mutation, but it wasn’t correct etiquette to go around asking people about their mutations. It was unlike anything else, and she admired his claws as fascination overtook her. Raising her hand to touch, she paused beforehand, looking to him for permission.  

“Knock yourself out. Just be careful. They’re sharp.” He snickered.  

He brought his hand down to rest in hers, roles now reversed. Her unbridled interest turned his offered hand every which way. He didn’t seem offended by her machinations; he seemed to find them amusing. Serena appreciated his vulnerability with her as mutations weren’t something that were normally a source of pride and in many situations were more a source of pain. She wasn’t one to waste an opportunity and even encouraged him to repeat his motions, watching the claws retract, then eject again. When she noticed the beading of blood at the base of the claws, and looked at him with concern. 

He gave her a somber look as he shared with her. “Hurts every time.”  

Serena grimaced, running her fingers softly around his knuckles, mimicking his earlier actions. She wanted to return the kind gesture and rubbed at the base of his claws. She heard him take a sharp breath, watching his fist relax as he withdrew his blades, taking his hand back. Disappointed, she looked to him to complain until she saw him looking away from her with a look of mild embarrassment on his face. He cleared his throat, and she put her hands behind her back trying to give him an apologetic look, as she stored his reaction in the back of her mind.

“It’s alright. Now you know, and don’t worry too much. I’ll be fine.” His words came in a rush.  

When he wiped his knuckles on his jeans, she could see that not even scars remained. He was clearly understating what fine meant and figured it somehow must connect to his mutation. He was definitely interesting, and she wanted to learn more about him. Every turn revealed something unique, and she continued to add notes to the mental file she had compiled on Logan. As someone who mostly observed others, she enjoyed figuring people out. Yet this time she’d let herself get carried away as her actions caused an awkward silence to settle in the room. They looked everywhere but at each other until Logan broke the tension. 

“Well, I don’t think you almost broke your hand to get me to show and tell now, did you? Since I showed you mine, now it’s your turn to show me yours.” He said, with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows.

It sounded like he’d recovered, and Serena was thankful he broke the tension with humor, but Logan had a knack for stepping on landmines. The topic of her mutation wasn’t easy for her, as she assumed it was for him. It wasn’t something as simple as show and tell for her. However, she noticed Logan had a knack for understanding. Like The Professor mentioned the day Logan called her a rat for listening in on their conversation. She hadn’t sensed the need to reach for her tablet since Logan had arrived and attributed it to him having great instincts, similar to the beast everyone likened him to. He could read her like a book, and Serena valued his understanding; it was a welcome change from her usual experience. Even though he had so far used it against her in a teasing fashion. He was skilled at annoying people, but beneath it all, she sensed his goodness. Serena had heard he had a temper, which wasn’t surprising, but was by the way he hadn’t lost his temper with her. If anything, he’d been patient, which, according to information she’d gathered, was out of character. It flattered her that he was asking, intending to want to know her. For Serena, to be known after being unknown for so many years was what she craved. It’s why she didn’t mind Kitty’s curiosity about her. But she struggled to explain the full extent of her nature because she knew its lethality and her own potential for harm, which led her to suppress that aspect of herself. 

Serena looked back into his eyes and found that he’d already been studying her. She had wondered what he saw as she’d contemplated how to explain herself. Similar to her previous attempt, she hoped to convey her message to him through nonexistent telepathy. His face was pensive as she wrung her hands. She then subconsciously passed a hand across her throat, and he caught the action, speaking for her. 

“Your voice is your mutation.” He looked at her with accomplishment.  

It was an endearing start. She released a breath she didn’t realize she was holding and took his hands in hers. Nodding and humming in response, she felt grateful relief that he understood, like she believed he could.    

“We have a little siren of our own here, but…” Logan trailed off in thought. 

Serena squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back. She knew who he was talking about — little Theresa Cassidy. She understood his hesitation, as Theresa was vocal, unlike Serena. Mutations were unique, but it wasn’t uncommon for some mutants to have similar if not the same powers, especially if related. He continued to look at her in deep thought. The attention was making her nervous, and she hoped the heat that simmered under her skin wouldn’t reach her face. The conversation’s personal nature, and its progression, left her anxious. She lowered her head and broke eye contact with Logan, wanting to withdraw again. She wanted to turn away from him as he had earlier. He noticed her hesitation and held her firmly, just as she had done to him. Serena smiled at the irony. He brought a hand up gently, guiding her chin to meet his gaze once more. The touch was light and brief, but the feeling lingered as he searched her eyes once more. By this point, Serena didn’t know what expression she wore. It was uncomfortably intimate, but her intuition told her it was important to trust him. The thumping of her heart was loud in her ears, and she could no longer hear anything beyond the surrounding walls. His facial expression changed, caught somewhere between understanding and frustration.  

“It’s there, isn’t it? It’s just locked up, and your brain won’t let you have it.” He stated with finality. 

The unabashed surprise on her face was his answer, and he laughed breathlessly. She felt his breath fan over her, but even the proximity did not register because of the surprise of his guess summing up her situation. When his laughter became chaotic, he released her hands. He put his face in his hands and stepped back from her. Logan reeled back as he let out a loud and sudden groan of frustration. The volume alone caused her to recoil. He gripped his hair as a string of expletives fell from his mouth, cursing The Professor as she stood by. Puzzled, she didn’t understand what was happening as his reaction offset her own. What she thought was supposed to have been a gratifying moment was becoming something she wasn’t expecting.

Logan didn’t know whether to kill The Professor or just maim him. He couldn’t confront him about this because he would only prove Charles right. Then he would give Logan that knowing smile of his that sets him off. He scoffed at the thought. His being able to understand Serena in more ways than one made him uncomfortable. It didn’t take a genius to know what game The Professor was playing. He’d been trying to crack Logan open for years and purposely presented him with this opportunity. He felt like an idiot for how easily he had walked into this one. Yes, he empathized with her, and if she was someone he finally let in, she might understand him better than anyone. Unfortunately for her, he was a stubborn coward. He would deny their connection, even after she’d borne herself to him and he’d accepted it, encouraged it even. 

Logan wasn’t without guilt then, knowing how similar their struggles were, and how he was refusing to share that with her. He was choosing not to disclose his capacity to empathize with her loneliness and frustration, as he preferred not to risk meaning anything to her. He didn’t want to be anything to anyone, at least not anymore. It wasn’t necessary to know him, and no one needed to. It was better that way, as his life held many disappointments. At least those he recalled. It’s why he never stayed, why he always left and isolated himself. The only reason he stayed was now gone, and he wasn’t trying to find someone else to replace her. Logan didn’t need or want to add someone else to his list of people he could lose. 

Bringing himself to catch her eye, he saw her patiently waiting for him, and he no longer wanted to see her. He couldn’t deny she was beautiful, but Logan knew beautiful things weren’t for him. The Wolverine could only admire them but never possess them. So, he admired her, awash in the pinks and golds of the setting sun. Her mane of dark curls framed her like a halo as the sun set behind her. She was an angel. Her eyes bright with expectation, they glittered and reminded him of the night sky. He’d done nothing but pick on her and make her angry, but he knew she was as sweet as candy. No matter the number of nasty looks she tried to give him or how tough she tried to act. Kitty’s cheerfulness was a testament to that as she surprised Logan since she usually was glum, and while there weren’t many who knew her, those familiar with Serena spoke of her fondly. Storm and even Rogue had nothing but kind words for her even though she’d just arrived. He saw her as someone who was easy to love as he was to hate and knew what he had to do. 

He’d only come to check on her. No more, no less. Do as The Professor asked him to. Ensure no one suspicious who wasn’t a part of their group attempted to approach her, and if all was well, he would stay nearby in case they needed him, but would keep his distance to not get involved. It’s what he should still do. He collected himself as he faced her‌. Logan fought the urge to take her hands in his as she looked up at him, her yearning inviting him in. He felt a metaphorical knife in his gut as the feeling of regret weighed ‌on him. He rested his hands on his waist, setting a clear boundary not only to himself but to her as well. To show her that whatever moment of intimacy that’d passed between them changed nothing and meant even less. She ‌mirrored his energy and changed her stance, closing herself off to him. The action bothered him, but he ignored it, like his instinct that cried out from inside him.  

“Look, sweetheart—” He started. 

Logan let out a surprised sound as a gentle press of a hand against his lips interrupted him. He was effectively silenced. Karma came ‌for Logan, as it punished him by forcing him to watch fresh heartbreak paint her lovely features. He then regretted not even giving her the decency of addressing her by her given name. Her disappointed smile and sad eyes laid him to rest as the knife twisted in his gut. Logan wanted to grab her hands and kiss them. Thank her for sharing a part of herself with him before they parted, but he knew it’d just make it more painful. So he simply gave her one last pointed look, taking her in one last time before he stepped out of her reach. The tips of her fingers trailed from his lips and off his chin as he turned from her without a parting word. He believed it best for them both. Hands in his pockets, he didn’t walk as confidently out of her classroom as he did when he’d entered it. He felt her eyes boring into his back as his heavy boots hit the wooden floor. The sound was deafening inside the mostly empty room, and he likened each step to a hammer securing the last nails to his coffin. Unlike before, she let him go, and only as the door shut behind him did he catch the faint smell of the sea.

Chapter Text

It’d been several days since Serena had last been back in her classroom. The way the previous evening had taken a turn was unexpected. Logan was the last person she expected to see, and what had happened between them still confused her. She would claim she was fine, but Serena’s idea of fine was remaining secluded in her room ever since. She’d canceled her lessons, feigning sickness to stay in, and avoided everyone. Only well past midnight, while everyone slept, did she slip out for food. In her seclusion, she concluded Logan had no intention of nurturing any type of kinship between them. She respected his boundaries but also saw the sadness in his face when he spoke to her. Regardless of his feelings, the rejection hurt her. The way she was handling it embarrassed her, and she wondered if this was how everyone she’d turned away had suffered. It was as if she were looking in a mirror, rejecting herself. 

That interaction struck a very sensitive nerve. Serena understood very well the risk and fear of letting someone in. She wondered if this was why The Professor had paired them together and if it was beyond the need of additional protection. It appeared Logan’s distance from everyone was avoidant on purpose, even though he struggled with fully separating himself. She was familiar with his attempt and struggle to separate himself from others. Understood, it was a life that guaranteed unending sorrow, affecting everyone involved. She was curious how long Charles had attempted to get Logan to settle down with them and become a stable member of his X-Men. She puzzled over The Professor’s intentions and what he had in store for her. 

Once more, she counted her blessings to have a room where she could observe the beautiful view outside her window for countless hours. As she hid, listening to the activity and laughter of the children outside brought her a sense of joy. The energy outdoors was a stark contrast to the melancholic and nostalgic energy that resonated inside the room. She found solace and comfort in losing herself in her memories, as the sound helped her remember. When she stayed out in the forests, parking lots, or empty homes, she was alone, and the sound of others meant danger. Now that she was here, she had no excuse for her loneliness, but pitied herself for being an outsider, even among her own. During her pity party, Professor Xavier attempted a telepathic connection with her, but she wished he’d mind his own business and after a try, he took the hint. Serena partially blamed him for the gamble that ended with both her and Logan being hurt.  

As she hid beneath her blankets, the sound of cautious steps belonging to another potential visitor coming from down the hall reached her ears. While she didn’t recognize the steps, she recognized the twang in the voice that called out to her once they’d reached her door. 

“Miss Mar? Miss Mar, if you’re up, I brought you a recipe from back home for a tea that’d knock out any bug. I’ll slide it under your door for when you’re up.” Rogue said.

While she hadn’t planned to open the door for her, Rogue hadn’t given her the chance to consider it before she took off. The sound of hurried footsteps faded down the hall. She found it a beautiful gesture and found the heart to rise from the bed to check out what she’d delivered. Kitty, and even Kurt, had stopped by to see her, but she’d also stayed silent when they’d knocked and called out to her. Serena was also aware of the lover’s quarrel that somehow Kitty had found herself in the middle of. Kitty told her how it soured her relationship with Rogue, which upset Kitty. Serena hadn’t had personal lessons with Rogue, but she’d often see her around the school and had received her help as she was one of the older students at the school. To her understanding, both she and Kitty were part of the X-Men team, alongside Bobby. She sent out a quick prayer for Ororo for having to deal with training that group. But she was sure Kitty had shared, if not with Rogue, with those around her she took piano lessons with her. Knowing that, she thought Rogue wouldn’t have wanted to reach out to someone Kitty interacted with. There was a moment of shame she felt for thinking her that petty. Seeing as she came to check on her, Serena considered that she herself might not be as invisible as she thought she was. 

She bent down to grab the ripped page of notebook paper. The curly writing brought a smile to her face.

“Hi Miss Mar,

I heard you were sick these past couple of days with a nasty bug and no one’s been able to see you. So, I wanted to share a recipe that my Mamaw used to swear by. I never made the stuff myself since I’ll warn ya’, it doesn’t taste that good. Hope it helps, and get well soon! 

Sincerely, Marie:)” 

Serena noticed she’d signed the letter with her given name. Now she was feeling awful for lying about being sick when all she was doing was feeling bad for herself. From what she understood, Marie didn’t speak to her family. For Marie to remember something like this to help her, made Serena feel cared for but also apologetic. The ingredients on the list were questionable, but she now had a duty to make and drink it. Serena was an awful liar, and if asked she’d give herself away. 

She made her way back to her bed, hoping she’d soon dream about happier times and loved ones she missed, but just as she settled back into bed, she picked up the sound of speedy light steps coming down the hall. She’d asked for a room down a corridor for moments like these where she could learn the footsteps of others and recognize them coming with enough time to plan. The steps she heard were from an unfamiliar child, not another teen’s. They skidded to a clumsy halt right in front of her door, then knocked on her door in quick succession.

A child’s voice boomed through the door. “Miss Mar, Miss Mar, are you there? It’s Theresa! Are you there?” 

Theresa was the last student she’d imagine at her door. She hadn’t met her, but the frantic calling made her spring up out of bed. She pulled on the trousers she’d taken off days prior with urgency as she sprinted to the door. Her oversized night tee would be fine in an emergency regardless of how wild the combination looked. She yanked open the door, catching sight of a little girl with fiery red hair and dozens of freckles. The girl reached Serena’s chest. With a raised fist poised to knock, the look of surprise on her face twisted into a wide grin. She changed her stance and offered out a hand to shake.  

“Oh, hi Miss Mar. My name is Theresa Cassidy. I’ve been wanting to meet you!” 

After the initial shock of Theresa’s introduction, she’d scanned and checked over the girl, which only elicited a myriad of giggles. She had no injuries, and there were no suspicious noises coming from inside or outside of the building. To the best of her knowledge, Theresa had come unaccompanied. The turn of events left Serena bewildered as she watched the little girl poke and prod everything, from her desk. Serena wondered why Theresa had a sudden interest in coming to see her. Unlike the older teens, the younger children showed little interest in her, if they even knew about her. She resolved to find out how she had ended up here and grabbed her speaking assistant to question the girl.  

“Hi Theresa, I’m Serena. It’s nice to meet you too.” Her tablet spoke. 

The sound caught the girl’s attention, and she rushed over to see what she’d used.

“Wow, so it’s true you use a robot to talk!” 

Theresa’s cuteness and curiosity made her impoliteness easy to forgive.  

“That’s right. It’s a gift from Professor Xavier, it’s helps me talk with others.” 

“The Professor is very nice. He helped me too!”  

Serena could read between the lines. Even though she knew that many children here weren’t here by choice, it still saddened her to see such a young girl who needed saving.  

“Oh, I didn’t mean to make you sad! It’s okay. I have a lot of friends, and I’m much happier now. What about you?” 

She couldn’t deny that Theresa was right; she was much happier here than she'd been in a long time, so she returned her smile with a nod. It made the girl shine brighter. 

“And now I have someone who’s just like me! You wouldn’t believe how excited I was when I found out.” 

The little girl was vibrating, and Serena stiffened. She sensed her anger escalating and knew she was justified in suspecting someone had sent her to Serena. They had used the little girl to get Serena out of her cave instead of coming to fetch her themselves. The troubles Serena was dealing with were for her, and her alone, to settle. It was not only unnecessary to involve the young girl, but using her emotions to achieve a goal was upsetting and cruel. Only Logan and The Professor were aware of her sonic mutation. By now, she had figured out who had the audacity to send Theresa her way. If he thought this was some type of apology, it was a terrible one. 

She must’ve made a face because Theresa’s face had fallen, and she’d withdrawn from Serena.  

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to bother you, Miss Mar. I just thought…” 

Her eyes were shining, and Serena started typing with urgency.  

“I’m just upset that I can’t teach you anything. I don’t use my powers.”  

Hopefully, that was enough to stop her from shedding tears. Luckily, it worked, and Theresa blinked away the impending tears.  

“That’s okay. I already know how to use mine! I just wanted to be friends!”  

Even The Professor wouldn’t stoop to brainwashing a child. Theresa just wanted to be close to her. Her heart ached when she saw how excited she was at the thought that Serena could understand her. Her emotional response struck a chord with Serena, evoking a sense of shared understanding and similar feelings within her. Theresa appeared to be a young preteen. She likely thought herself lucky that someone with similar powers could be a potential mentor and someone she could confide in. Maybe she and Theresa weren’t so different. Although she never considered herself a crybaby, it was as if her eyes would never stop shedding tears as her vision blurred.  

Tears welled in her eyes, and she saw the concern on Theresa’s face. 

She was quick to type another message. “They’re happy tears, I promise.”  

That seemed to calm the little girl even as Serena stifled several cries, trying her best to muffle the sound. Hot tears streamed down her face, muddying her vision. Theresa gave her an odd look as Serena used her already tear-stained shirt to wipe her face.  

The girl had lowered her tone until it was almost a whisper. “Miss Mar… Are you scared of making noise?” 

Serena stopped, her face covered by her shirt. In that instant, she had the urge to hide under the bed to escape the embarrassment of being called out by a child. It was backwards. Theresa should have confided in Serena, not vice versa. A light touch on her shoulder prompted her to look up. Theresa’s face was full of softness as she comforted her. 

“It’s okay. I’ve broken stuff and done bad things before that I didn’t want to do. I was scared for a long time, but The Professor taught me to always remember that I’m a good person and I’m the one in control of my choices!”  

Theresa’s knowing eyes saw right through Serena’s pretense, leaving her exposed, a silent plea trapped within her.  

She was bashful when she spoke again. “It’s okay to cry, Miss Mar. Accidents happen! I haven’t hurt anyone from crying, unless I wanted to, and I’ve cried a lot.” 

What Theresa said was true. To listen to the words coming from the mouth of a child, rang truer than anything she’d ever told herself. It was an accident. The costliest mistake she had ever made, and she couldn’t get past it no matter what. It ruined her life and changed everything. It was the reason she ran for over a decade. She couldn’t forgive herself and couldn’t see beyond it. It plagued her every waking moment. But here was a baby, compared to Serena, bestowing forgiveness on her she hadn’t given herself for something the girl knew nothing about. When she looked into Theresa’s innocent eyes, she found something there she’d needed to give herself years ago. There was a sense of release growing in her chest that frightened her, but she held onto it with desperation. 

She hadn’t meant to hurt her mother. Serena hadn’t meant to hurt anyone. Never. She never intended to do what she did, not in a million years. Serena was a singer; she always had been since she was a child. She’d always loved music and loved to sing for her mother even more. According to her mother, Serena was always the performer, always the little star, she called her. Her mother raised her by herself. Unaware of her father’s identity, she had no desire to know, her mother’s love being enough. Since her mother couldn’t carry a tune for the life of her, she always wondered if her talents came from some singer her mother admired. Despite being a single struggling mother, her mother never talked ill of her father even when he came up in conversation, so she didn’t bother her about it. Her mother was more than happy with just Serena, and Serena shared the sentiment. She also never let her forget how much she adored her. Any song her mother wanted to hear she’d sing, especially after the long shifts her mother worked. Some nights she’d even sing her to sleep.  

Her memory of that day was clear, as it had begun as a typical and uneventful one. When her mother came home later than usual, she sank into her favorite chair. Exhausted, she asked Serena for her favorite song, and as always Serena wanted to sing a perfect rendition for her mother. It infuriated her to this day that something as simple as a want could trigger such devastation. That something so simple could influence something so complex as a powerful mutation. She wanted to hit the complex notes so she could sing the perfect version for her mother. It was her wish. Although her mother always said Serena sang it to perfection, Serena remained unsatisfied. For all the times her mother had requested the song, she felt it was important to her mother, so it was important to her as well. She was great, seventeen with the goal of being a Broadway star. She wanted to be the best, to enter the best schools. 

The recollection of her childhood dreams made her want to laugh and scream. 

She wanted the heavens to hear her melody, so she pushed until she was not only heard above but also below. That night she sang the song she sang to her mother a million times, but this one time it was different. A restless energy thrummed within her, a buzzing sensation that vibrated through her very being, signaling that her moment had arrived. With reckless abandon, she seized it and expressed with all she had. She still remembered the sound she had made. The sound, like a homecoming, resonated deep within her, a beautiful, resonant harmony that transcended anything she had experienced. To this day, nothing could compare. Her hearing was always exceptional, and she’d known that the angels received her that night, but was blind to the demons she’d invited to listen in. 

When her voice rang clear, so did the shattering of glass and the howl of destruction. Shattered car windows set off alarms, street lamps had gone dark, and darkness not only enveloped her home but the entire neighborhood as well. Fear had gripped her heart then as her hands shook while she called out to her mother if everything was okay. In the veil of darkness, she couldn’t find her mother as she received no response. The hysterics from the neighborhood made it difficult to focus on finding a light source. When she’d found a stray flashlight, she’d wished she never had, regretting she’d found anything, after witnessing the state her mother was in. The ingrained sight tormented her until this day. She couldn’t fathom in that moment that she was what caused the blood that streamed from multiple parts of her mother. It was when she’d unleashed endless wails of suffering into the night, and onto the unsuspecting neighborhood, that she knew. Her inner world fractured, matching the ruin outside, leaving her stranded in a storm of despair. 

She howled into the darkness that night as the ground quaked, and screams flooded the night air. An icy dread snaked through her, whispering warnings, yet a burning need to express her suffering consumed her. She didn’t stop until the world was silent except for the raw, desperate sound of her own weeping. When all that remained were her soft, pitiful cries echoing through the silence and her mother’s lifeless body. Only when the mournful sound of distant sirens echoed in her ears, did the devastation she’d caused hit her with brutal force. The unending silence and the leveled landscape, stretching as far as she could see in the dim moonlight, had caused her to empty her stomach. Her fear of herself and her situation overwhelmed her. So she’d made the panicked decision to flee. She laid her mother down, took her jewelry as keepsakes, and kissed her goodnight forever, before running with all her might. She ran for over ten years, never once looking back.

The city excused it as a case of a freak sinkhole appearing, the largest one recorded in years. It was in the news for weeks. So many missing, injured, or presumed dead, including her. She would see it on the TV and hear it on the radio as she fled for days. The repeated cries of families who lost their loved ones were all that she heard during the first weeks that followed, as she existed in a state of dissociation. Serena believed now as she did then that she had died that night.

Her recollection ending, she hadn’t registered that at some point Theresa was trying to comfort her and had been patting her shoulder. Uncontrolled shaking wracked her body, and a cold sweat slicked her skin. It was a memory she hated recalling but one that lived with her as a constant companion. A consistent punishment of remembrance. It always brought out the worst in her as it was crippling and almost always guaranteed to set off a panic attack. 

Her chest constricted, a vise squeezing the air from her lungs, and though she tried to stifle them, whimpers escaped as a rattling, strangled sound, each breath a desperate gasp. Her fear was a tangible thing, a monster clawing at her insides, threatening to consume her. A soft cry broke free of its hold, and she clamped a hand over her mouth. In a frantic panic, Serena checked on Theresa, but there was no blood, no death, only Theresa’s encouraging eyes, bright and unwavering. Serena clutched at the fragile reassurance, a lifeline in the storm of despair threatening to engulf her. 

“I promise I’m okay, Miss Mar. Remember, you won’t hurt me unless you want to. That’s how it works! Plus, I have good ears, you know.”  

She flared her ears at Serena, smiling. Of course, she did. Serena’s soft laugh came out as watery woos, which thereafter turned to sorrowful wails. She folded in on herself, and cried into her lap as the little girl with flaming hair draped herself over her, a heavy weight of warming comfort over her. As Serena wept beneath her, she listened to Theresa’s steady heartbeat. She grieved, both for herself and the girl’s unforgivable suffering. Theresa, who comforted her in a way that she may have had to do for herself for years, as Serena listened to her steady mantra of, “I’m okay.” Dampness soaked into the back of her shirt. Serena didn’t know if it was for her sake or Theresa’s own that the young child repeated those words, but the tears flowed from Serena’s eyes, a long-awaited release, and for the first time in a long time, no one was hurt by her grief. 

Serena held Theresa in her lap as the afternoon had become evening, and the sun sat low in the sky. Kids were indeed able to fall asleep anywhere. Despite her slight frame, Theresa was heavy; one of Serena’s arms was already numb. She didn’t care for children, but she also didn’t mind them either. Serena knew it was taboo to say that now that she was a teacher to many children, but she had never been around them. She was just unfamiliar with them, but if most children were like Theresa, Kitty, or even Marie, then she would say that she liked them now. Theresa slept against her; worn out after the rollercoaster of emotions they went on together, as was Serena. She needed to get Theresa back to her room, but Serena had no clue who her roommates were or where her room was. Wandering the halls in her sorry state was the last thing she wanted to do, so she settled on calling in reinforcements regardless of her earlier feelings.  

She mentally called out into the intangible space, hoping for a response. “Professor?”

It worked, and she received a response. “Serena, is everything all right?” 

“Everything is fine, I just need help to get Theresa back to her quarters.” 

“Theresa? Theresa Cassidy?”

It was genuine confusion, and she was now sure she knew who sent Theresa, but she was too tired to be angry.  

“Yes, she came to visit and ended up falling asleep. Could you call someone to come take her to bed? I’m still under the weather.” 

“Of course. I’ll send someone right away. Thank you for watching over her. She can be a tad mischievous.” 

“It’s what makes her charming, Professor.” 

“Mm-hmm, get well soon. We’ll speak again.” 

Heavy rasps at her door awoke Serena. Her heart was in her throat as she hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep with Theresa still in her lap. In placing the sun, she hadn’t slept for too long, but she had to wiggle to get some sensitivity back into her legs and arms. She underestimated her exhaustion, for the sound of footsteps not to have alerted her out of her usual light sleep. She hurried to avoid another set of knocks that might wake the small girl in her arms. With care, she maneuvered her body enough to open the door. She was relieved she got it open to greet the student on the other side, but the person who’d arrived wasn’t a student and, in actuality, was the last person she wanted to see. 

Serena was over this night and wasn’t ready to face anything more, let alone Logan. She was going to kill Charles. 

“Holy hell, they weren’t lying. You look terrible!”

Logan had an acute case of foot-in-mouth. Serena showed her displeasure by giving him an emotionless expression and thrusting the girl into his arms.  

“Whoa there, be careful.”

Of course, she was being careful, but he wasn’t being quiet. Raising a finger to her lips, she shushed him.  

“Did you just shush me?”  

Why did he have to be so loud? She covered his mouth once again with a similar move she had gotten him with days before. Logan was silenced, but not before the little girl squirmed in his arms.  

Theresa called out for her, drowsiness apparent. “Miss Mar?”   

The girl looked through her tousled locks and reached for Serena. Serena took her hand and held it softly as she leaned in close.  

“Can I come see you again?”

She gave the girl a loving smile and nodded. 

Theresa wiggled her hand loose and presented her with her pinky. “Promise?”  

Serena grinned and locked Theresa’s pinky with her own. She hummed in agreement. Theresa seemed content accepting her pinky promise and curled back into Logan’s arms to sleep. She gave the girl one last glance, ignoring Logan, before turning to retire for the evening.  

“Serena, wait.”

A part of her knew he wouldn’t let her leave as easily as she wanted. Serena paused in her doorway, hand still on the handle. She kept her back to him, tilting her head slightly to offer him her ear.  

“Serena…”  

It seemed he had no problem remembering her name now and clearly wanted something, but he needed to tell her or she couldn’t help him. Irritated by the silence, she waved him away and closed the door. Before the door fully closed, he stopped it with his hand. She was stubborn, but despite her efforts to close the door, it wouldn’t budge.

“Please.”

Frustration clear in her huff, Serena gave up and turned to face him. Logan effortlessly held Theresa close with one arm, the weight of the heavy oak door in the other. His presence loomed over her, but she remained stubborn and unimpressed, refusing to acknowledge how he looked in his undershirt. Serena crossed her arms and leaned against the frame of the doorway as she pointed a disinterested look at him. 

It seemed Logan was taking a page from her book as he gave one of the most pleading and pitiful looks she’d ever seen. She wanted to laugh in his face as he’d done to her multiple times. There was nothing to say to him, and she was too emotionally drained to confront him about his underhanded use of Theresa. Serena wasn’t simple. She understood Theresa was supposed to have been a peace offering, but if he thought it was an appropriate way to apologize to someone, then he was the simple one. 

Logan didn’t need to apologize to her in the first place, but he obviously was feeling guilty for having gone this far. Her inability to process rejection properly wasn’t his responsibility, and it wasn’t hers that his choices backfired, resulting in his own discomfort. Then he’d gone and angered her by trying ultimately to make himself feel better. Unless he understood that the forgiveness he needed wasn’t from her, he was wasting both their time. 

His ignorance of his own feelings and actions was annoying her, so she raised an eyebrow at his attempt to resemble a kicked puppy. It was cute but unnecessary. 

Her unenthusiastic gesture left him at a loss, and he released the door to rub his face in discomfort, letting out a frustrated breath. She watched him silently stress, trying to find the words he wanted to say to her. His arm fidgeted as his mouth worked silently as he struggled. There was a small part of her that found satisfaction as even he, who had the ability to speak, failed to explain himself. Even reaching for her and halting himself several times, as he tried to convey his intentions. 

To keep distance, she took a step back, and out of his reach. He stepped forward to follow, but to Logan’s dismay and Serena’s delight, Theresa became restless in his arms, vocalizing her discontent at being jostled. She sent a little mental thank you to the girl, if intentional, and watched as Logan repositioned her into a more secure hold. 

He took a long pause, giving Theresa a pensive look before addressing Serena. “I’m…”

Not meeting her eyes, he sighed once more before continuing. “I’m going to take her to bed. I hope you feel better soon.”

He made a quick escape, holding Theresa close as he started down the hall without awaiting a response. Surprised, she nodded her farewell to him but didn’t watch him leave as she retreated into her room. His frustration was apparent, whether directed at her or himself Serena couldn’t tell, but she didn’t care at that moment. Leaning against the closed door, she listened to the sound of his heavy retreating steps until they faded. She was beyond exasperated. 

Her eyes throbbed, lids heavy and swollen, as a dull ache began blooming behind her eyes. With a groan, she rubbed her temples, pressing her palms into her eyes, the throbbing pain a dull pulse behind her eyelids as she made her way to the bed. With a shuddering sigh, she threw herself onto the bed; her face sinking into the cool, smooth pillow before letting out a silent scream.

There was already enough she had to process this evening without the addition of having to decipher Logan’s taciturn nature. She should’ve trusted her instincts and kept him at arm’s length as she had originally intended. Now they’d somehow found themselves entangled in a confusing twist of fate. Their struggles may be similar, but clearly they were at different points in their journey, and Serena would let no one, including herself, hold her back. 

Tonight was a revelation, and she owed Theresa more than words could convey for helping her heal a part of her she hadn’t believed was salvageable. It signaled a new beginning. The silence of her self-imposed confinement pressed down on her, but she was ready to move on. So consumed by her self-doubt, she failed to notice the warmth of the community that had quietly begun embracing her. She’d chosen a life of solitude and a quiet existence. However, many people, including some she hardly knew, touched her by expressing their concern. She was the one who was sabotaging her own destiny and who believed she didn’t belong here. They’d reached out and held out their hands to her. Now it was her turn to reach out and take their hands; to embrace the commitment to both herself and her newfound family.

Chapter Text

Spring had come and gone as the rainy days made way for the start of sunny summer days. The weather was perfect according to Logan. The sun’s warmth was a pleasant contrast to the cool air, hinting at the sweltering days to come. It’d also been quite some time since he’d last appeared at the academy. The flowers were in full bloom, and the landscape was bright. After things became complicated during his last visit, he’d isolated himself. He stayed away until he could get himself back under a familiar sense of detachment, but had continued his duty from a distance, consistent in scanning the surrounding area. It was easy, as his charge had never left the estate, and simple enough to keep himself away from her. He’d concluded it was about time to call his job done, so he’d returned to close out his business with Charles. It’d been several months since Serena had arrived, and no one had come for her or poked around where they shouldn’t have. If anyone had wanted her, Logan figured they would’ve made a move by now, so he was ready to move on and go about his own business again.

He took a long drag of his cigar as he made his way around the grounds. He’d come during the weekend, and almost everyone was outside. It was a beautiful day, so it made sense to take advantage of the dry ground after a long, wet spring. Making his way through, he received many friendly greetings, the smells of food and drink swirling around him. Logan responded with a brief nod or a mumbled greeting. 

He’d figured he could check on Rogue before meeting with The Professor and see how she was. He knew things had been rocky between her and Bobby, and it hadn’t helped that they hadn’t left off on the best foot last he’d seen her. The last time they spoke, his words were sharp and cutting. The interaction remains a cringe-worthy memory that still causes him physical discomfort. He’d been in an irritable state when he’d questioned her regarding whether she had other friends she could talk to death. Her mouth had snapped shut, her eyes welling with tears as she gave him an expression of such hurt that he regretted his words in an instant and began a hasty apology. She cursed him, then left him to deal with the repercussions of what he had said. 

Logan was everything she accused him of being and more. He hadn’t been fair to her; she was just in the wrong place at the right time. After multiple uncomfortable interactions with Serena, his emotions were already unstable. He’d been itching for a confrontation, and no matter how many drinks he had, he was still brimming with restless energy. His usual outlet for his irritation, Scott, had been missing in action and unavailable to throw vicious barbs at. It was like he was a ticking time bomb and knew then he had to leave lest he hurt anyone else. 

It appeared that his only talent was stirring up anger or evoking tears, but he had a deep sense of duty and obligation towards Marie, as he was the one who brought her here. Logan was aware of how Marie felt about him and understood she thought of him as a source of stability, but it didn’t help that he was always running off on her. She and everyone else. 

He could hear Jean now. “The good guy sticks around, Logan.”

He puffed his cigar and watched the smoke dissipate, blowing away as a gentle breeze swept by. He didn’t know whether to laugh or break something. The statement’s continued truth made his knuckles itch. He was always chasing after something and missing what was in front of him. 

“What’re you looking for, Logan?” Jean had asked him.

He was just going to upset himself at this point. He was craving a frosty beer, but before that, he had an apology to deliver and made a concentrated effort to pick up Marie’s scent amongst the dozens of others. Marie’s scent drifted to him across the open field as he approached from the rear of the building. She stood against the brick wall amidst dozens of discarded, sun-bleached outdoor toys. He noticed her jotting things down on a clipboard, a small smile playing on her lips as she worked, and the surrounding air was light. 

He put out his cigar since he couldn’t help messing with her as he crept up from behind her. “Hey kid.” 

A startled yelp escaped her lips, and she surged into the air, whirling around to yell at him before realizing who it was. “Logan!” 

She embraced him with caution, as she always had, but surprised him with her enthusiastic welcome, which he didn’t mind. He could see the sunshine was doing her good. 

“You’re right on time! We need the extra help.” 

He had some confusion and reluctance at being volunteered. “What’s going on?”  

“The Professor set off with Storm to meet with some parents out of state, so we’ve been setting up some activities for the kids. Everyone’s been itchin’ to get outside now that the rain’s taken a break, but we might’ve underestimated how many grown-ups we’d need to watch everyone.” 

He smiled, glad to hear the soft laughter that accompanied her explanation. 

“Those of us who are older are helping wrangle the little ankle-biters. You might have seen Bobby or even Piotr chasing them around!” 

He’d noticed there had been more kids than usual outside at once and, in typical Logan fashion, he couldn’t help but poke fun at her. 

“Oho! So you’re Santa’s Little Helper, are you?” 

With his arms folded, he gave her a playful, anticipating expression. She became bashful and started whining. The familiar sound brought a chuckle out of him.

“Logan, c’mon, I have to be responsible at some point. I can’t depend on you guys to take care of me forever!” 

She was being lighthearted, but it wasn’t an answer he expected from her, and it touched a sore spot he didn’t know he had. Even with the childish stomp that accompanied her statement, Marie was getting older. The kids were getting older. They were X-Men in their own right and even had their own suits. Logan tried pinpointing how long it’d been since they had arrived together, and a familiar melancholy crept into his psyche. To avoid ruining the mood, he covered his lapse in conversation with a cough and changed the topic. 

“So, Teacher’s Pet. Who’re you helping today?” 

Something akin to the sound of a stampede answered his question. The many squeals of children reached his ears before he’d seen the group round the side of the building. They were loud enough for even Marie to hear them coming.

“I was wondering what they’d gotten up to!”. 

Then, as the thunderous stampede drew nearer, a sound cut through the roar—high, clear, like wind chimes in a lively breeze. He’d heard nothing like it—lush, vibrant laughter, ringing with joyous abandon. The sound washed over him, a warm sensation flooding his chest with unexpected euphoria. A profound sense of peace settled over him, soft and calming. 

“I swear, she has the prettiest laugh. It just makes you feel all warm and cozy inside.” 

He listened to Marie release a content sigh before continuing.

“You never want it to stop.” 

Her comment made him turn to her with a sudden sharp intensity. She’d taken the words right out of his head. Out of the corner of her eye, Marie caught Logan’s confused gaze, his eyes wide with questioning. The realization clicked for her, and she made a face. 

“Jeez, Logan, you’re just so… ugh, I just can’t with you sometimes.” 

Logan didn't understand the language of teenage girls, but he thought he should be offended. 

Then he saw her and understood some of Marie’s frustration. He knew who it was but hadn’t expected it as he’d heard nothing close to the sound that was coming from her now. Surprised would be an understatement. It was the last person he wanted to see and the one he wanted to avoid most. He hadn’t expected her to be out, let alone amongst others, and was hoping he’d be able to make a clean escape after sorting out his loose ends. He wasn’t planning to see her ever again, but there Serena was, leading a stampeding group of children.

As if she were born from the sun itself, she was a vision. The sun favoured her bronze skin that glistened under its kisses, rich with colour. Radiant and captivating, with eyes that sparkled like stars. Her loose, wild coils framed a dazzling smile, their dark spirals catching the rays of the sun. The air vibrated with shouts of “Miss Mar!”, a cacophony of excited voices, sharp and ecstatic. A troop of children of various ages chased after her. As they gained on her, she released an unexpected joyful squeal that sent a thrilling shiver down his spine. The hairs on his neck prickled with delightful, anticipatory excitement; a physical manifestation of his reaction to her elation. 

She ran like her life depended on it, her hair tossing back and forth as she checked on her “pursuers”. Her scent was a sweet wave on the wind as it came over him, a vivid promise of happiness he hadn’t known he craved. Entranced, his eyes fluttered as he breathed in the intoxicating fragrance. Throat dry. A simple fitted tee, damp with sweat, and loose-fitting jeans hung low on her waist as she ran barefoot. The pounding of her strides against the grassy field matched the frantic rhythm of his racing heart. 

He watched from afar, jaw tight, as her rapid, ragged breaths and heaving chest spurred a chase within him. With every muscle screaming for him to catch her, the sensation of his clenched fists was a burning pressure against his palms. Logan longed to hear her squeal in delight against his ear, just like she had before, as he pinned her to the ground with the weight of his body and—

“Logan!” Marie shrieked. 

The spell that had held him captive shattered, leaving him disoriented. He blinked, trying to clear his head, as he caught a pointed stare from Marie. His annoyance at her outburst turned to confusion as her stern, disapproving glare hit him like an icy wave. He was thankful that she couldn’t read his mind.

“Don’t.” She said.

A frown etched itself onto his face; he didn’t understand. He wanted to respond, but his mouth was like cotton, and no words formed. 

Her face morphed into something resembling concern, and she sounded dejected. “Just don’t, Logan.” 

She thrust the pen and clipboard into his chest as he scrambled to grab hold. She’d turned, giving him one last unreadable glance over her shoulder before bounding off after Serena and the kids. He hadn’t noticed, but at some point Serena must’ve fallen because she was poking her head out from under a mound of children. As endless giggles erupted from the children, Marie worked to untangle everyone. Some children were refusing to let Serena go. He watched as Serena collected herself, all smiles, as Marie discussed with her what activities she thought would be great to put together. He dropped the supplies in favor of reigniting his cigar to deal with his mounting irritation. 

Despite a twinge of resentment, Logan wanted to wish Serena happiness. His reaction brought him to wonder why he had expected her to continue keeping to herself. As if she were a secret garden, hidden and lovely, known only to him. Doubts clouded his mind as he questioned how similar they truly were, the differences becoming increasingly apparent. He knew he had no right to question what was a good life that she’d built here at the school, but in a deep dark part of his mind he expected her to wallow in self-pity for the rest of her days. Develop vices, become bitter, and resign herself to growing old alone. 

Logan expected her to be just like him. She was supposed to have burdens so heavy that she buckled under the weight. Have endless excuses when people tried to engage her, stayed away, and continued running away. Make the same choices he had, because it’d justify that he had no other choice but to be the way he was. Seeing her joy and the life she was building made him angry with himself. It weakened him, and if Logan disliked anything, it was being helpless. The weight he carried made him feel trapped; demons he could barely remember haunted and crippled him. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t just accept this life, make the most of his circumstances, and appreciate his blessings. Thus, in his endless search for more, he’d resigned himself to a life of howling at the moon.

Serena was thankful for the extra set of hands today. Marie had been invaluable in keeping her as well as the children on track. She was powerless against their innocent gazes when they asked her for favors. She should’ve switched with Kurt or Scott and stuck with the bigger kids. The older teens enjoyed having an outlet for their powers, and both men could wear them down, incorporating team events that fed their competitive natures. Meanwhile, they assigned her the youngsters and Marie as a teacher’s aide. Yet, they had underestimated the chaotic energy of the youngest mutants. Somehow, she had ended up in several games of tag, and it had become her versus all of them. If it wore them out to chase her, she didn’t mind paying the cost of breaking a light sweat. It was what she originally thought, but they were intent on nipping at her heels and triggering her flight response. It seemed her shrieks spurred the children on to keep chasing her; they were the cutest tormentors she’d ever known.  

The past several weeks had been a whirlwind of exhausting efforts to change and become a better version of herself. Now that she had so many that were depending on her. After her personal declaration to rise above her slump and make a change, she pushed herself outside her comfort zone. She left her classroom for once and met with all the children that were a part of the school. During that time, Theresa had become her buffer and impromptu translator. Serena was never without her speech device, but Theresa enjoyed speaking up for her and introducing her to everyone they came across. It hadn’t bothered her; in fact, it eased her interactions with others and calmed her nerves. She admired the young girl and was humbled to admit she was the one being taught lessons. 

Theresa did a wonderful job of providing Serena with constant reminders that everyone was safe in her presence, including the children. That her sadness or joy would not hurt them if vocalized. It was difficult. More than a decade of suppression had imprinted itself on her heart and mind. But being around others and taking small steps towards some form of freedom from her deep-rooted fears helped her progress. It helped that everyone was so easy to love and seemed as if they were waiting for her to come in her own time. Maybe every person experienced this on arrival, recognizing it in her.

To further build relationships, she reached out to Ororo and Scott, leaving aside any previous assumptions. It was the best decision she’d made. Confident, strong, and intelligent, Ororo was everything she aspired to be; The Professor’s trust made perfect sense. She was more than happy to connect on a more consistent basis with Serena and apologized for not being able to be with her more because of her responsibilities. Serena was proud to announce their shared commitment to spending more time together, which also included collaboratively creating lesson plans. 

Her lack of power usage limited her interactions with Scott, yet she still found learning from him fascinating. Despite his somber disposition, she found peace in sharing his company. During his teaching, his charisma sometimes shone through, allowing her to see glimpses of the man others described him to be. The pain of his lost love had consumed him, leaving him a shell of his former self, and she understood his despair. 

It’d taken months, but she’d learned more about the legacy of Jean Grey. Since becoming close with Theresa, the girl was safe enough to confide in Serena with details others wouldn’t even whisper. Smart, beautiful, and kind, courageous and brave, it seemed her accolades went on and on. Serena saw the shine in Theresa’s eyes, bright with admiration, before they welled with tears, and she asked no more. 

More details emerged from Kurt. His words flowed freely, a stark contrast to the more cautious members, possibly because of his recent arrival. He expressed his profound admiration, his words laced with a quiet sorrow, detailing the many prayers he’d said for her soul, and that he hoped Scott would find a measure of peace after losing his fiancée. He recounted the tale of her bravery, the refusal of help and her self-sacrifice. It helped her understand everyone just a little better, especially the X-Men that risked their lives alongside her. The school mourned the loss of an admirable woman, a genuine part of their heart. 

However, that wasn’t all she learned; Marie had confided some interesting information to her. Whether it was because of her quiet nature or a need for unburdening, people were at ease when sharing their personal secrets with her. Marie’s confession about her old childish crush on Logan, while dating Bobby, had sent Serena’s eyebrows skyrocketing, and both of them into a fit of giggles. Serena had no room to judge but believed it was her duty as her elder to give her a disapproving look, before waggling her brows and reigniting their chorus of giggles. 

What was most interesting was the wistful expression and admission Marie had given her that, in Logan’s eyes, none could compare to Jean. Now that was a revelation she hadn’t been expecting. Marie was frantic and apologetic after realizing she’d let it slip, swearing Serena to secrecy, also to never bring it up to Logan. The dots began connecting. It would also explain the tense, almost hostile relationship between Logan and Scott, as well as Logan’s agonizing indecision about whether to stay or leave. She mused that only someone as captivating and unforgettable as Jean could stir Logan’s heart. A thought that made her regret never having met her.  

In the present, she found herself distracted as Marie relayed instructions to her. The scent of Logan’s cigar, a rich blend of tobacco and spice, wafted towards her as she caught sight of him in the distance. He’d get an earful from The Professor if he were here. With time, she’d let go of any resentment, especially since so many close companions now surrounded her. There was no reason to be bitter when she was no longer alone. 

She raised her hand in greeting, offering a friendly smile. He caught her gaze and then, to her astonishment, ignored her, crushing his cigar under his heel. He turned and walked toward the school entrance, disregarding her. A stinging hurt filled Serena as Marie’s temper erupted, a whirlwind of furious words and gestures directed at his boorish behavior.

“What the hell is his problem?! Stay here with the kids. I’ll go handle him.” 

Not giving Serena any time to react or object, she rushed after him, leaving Serena with no option but to watch her go. While he'd been rude to her, it wasn’t worth bothering with him when he was in a mood. That Marie was just as feisty didn’t make things easier, but she thought Marie could offer him a good dose of Southern hospitality and didn’t chase after her. She did as Marie had asked and monitored the children until she had returned to take on the next activity. 

Sometimes Logan wondered if a part of him still lived within Marie when she’d taken his power. Especially his attitude, because, damned if she didn’t follow him into the school hot like hell on wheels. He heard her before she even called out to him as he made his way into the academy. 

“Logan! Logan! What the hell was that?! Logan! STOP!” 

He did as she said, stopping on a dime, knowing what would come next. 

There was a light pressure on his back as he heard the girl exclaim with a pained shout as she slammed face first into him. A sardonic smirk graced his lips as he turned to her. She muttered curses under her breath as she rubbed her face with a gloved hand. 

“This isn’t a joke, Logan! Why are you such an asshole!” 

She shouted at him, turning red with anger he hadn’t seen from her in a while. 

“Why would you treat her like that? Serena’s a good person, Logan! She ain’t done anything to you, I know that!”

Logan wanted to interrupt and correct her, but knew it’d sound like a lame excuse in the face of her anger.

“Serena cares! She tries to be with every one of us and see us, Logan! Don’t you get it?” 

Her eyes looked sad, though her anger burned hot and her rage filled his senses. Logan didn’t ‘get it’ and sensed that this conversation was taking a turn he wasn’t following.

“Why? Why do you have to make other people miserable like you!?” 

Now that one hurt him, and he saw in her eyes she wanted it to hurt. He couldn’t grasp her intense support of Serena. To his knowledge, they barely knew each other, when he'd known Marie longer and had been the one who found her.

Bitter resentment boiled within him, fueled by what he took as her betrayal of loyalty, and he became defensive.

“Jesus’ kid, you don’t have to be a damn harpy about it. I just did what you told me. Don’t even bother with her, right?”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it!” 

“Clearly I don’t, so tell me!” 

Her anger fueled his aggression as he got in her face and shouted. She’d responded by shrinking back, and shielding herself from him. The heat of his anger dissipated the moment he witnessed her reaction, a sick feeling settling in his stomach. 

In all their time, he’d never raised his voice at her outside the heat of battle, and not in this way. Whether he was a protector or aggressor, Logan was a terrifying figure, but he would rather die than hurt Marie. He still felt guilt and had the occasional nightmare over the time he speared her with his claws, regardless of it being accidental. 

He hoped to reassure her as he approached her with open arms.

“Marie…” 

“You gave her that look…” 

“I… a ‘look’? I—I don’t understand.” 

She looked afraid as she tried to will him to understand without saying more, but his intuition failed him. It was like he was forcing her to say something she didn’t want to share. He couldn’t determine what caused her fear, and he was at a loss, hoping she’d take pity on him as he waited as patiently as his nature would allow. 

“Logan… It was the look you used to give Jean.” 

The sound of Jean’s name said aloud was like a bullet through his chest, and to be used in the way it was, felt even worse.

He withdrew not only his arms but also his invitation to connect. The source of her fear, and the intent behind her words, were now crystal clear to him. The acidic anger and sadness that ate at him from the inside for years spilled out, burning everything in its path, as he hissed at her.

“Don’t you dare compare that woman to Jean! She’s nothing like her. No one is!” 

His voice broke as he as worked himself into a frenzy.

“Jean! Jean is—!” 

“Jean is dead, Logan.” 

Marie ended his tirade with only a sentence. It was as if someone had sucked the air from the room, producing complete silence and stillness between them. Her expression — so cold and detached — showed no pity, just exhaustion.

His reignited rage fizzled out, and he could only stare at her slack-jawed. Logan couldn’t believe she could be so cruel to him. To say that to him, of all people, with such carelessness. Marie knew… she knew how he felt. Everyone did, and he wasn’t even the one Jean chose. His love stayed unrequited and now always will be. 

Marie showed him no mercy as she went on.

“Jean is dead, Logan… But we’re not… I’m not.” 

Tears broke free and ran down her ruddy cheeks.

“She isn’t here, Logan, but I am.” 

The brave face she was putting on collapsed, contorted in grief. With her words heavy on her tongue, she made sure he saw her pain as she looked into his eyes.

“You promised.” 

Logan could be cold, but not enough for his heart not to break as she threw his promise back in his face. He’d be a fool not to know what she meant and to know that, for as much as he claimed responsibility for her, he’d already failed her long ago. Beyond protecting her, he was supposed to be caring for her, just be there, and he hadn’t even done that. Logan had dropped her off and said good luck, only coming when called. Worse than a dog, he was a wolverine. 

He wasn’t blind and knew Marie cared for him. She’d chosen him as her guardian, her protector.

“The good guy sticks around, Logan.” 

On multiple occasions, he’d told not only himself but also others that there was nothing here to stay for. He was ashamed, as it was probable that she’d heard it too. He cared for her, felt a great sense of responsibility for her, but when Jean was involved, nothing else in the world mattered. They didn’t matter; none of it mattered. It was like an obsession; it blinded him, and he didn’t care. He seemed doomed to repeat the same mistakes. 

After Jean left, his carelessness was only further shown, and he still didn’t consider Marie. So, he left, he stayed away, and he left her here, with nothing more than a raggedy pair of dog tags to cry over when he was gone for months on end. It was too much for him to bear, and he could only imagine how she had borne it for so long. 

Once more he reached out, inviting her into his embrace, calling out to her with tender eyes. 

“Marie…” 

This time she did not hesitate to let a moment pass before releasing her cries and running into his arms. All bundled up, his sweet Marie was, so as not to hurt anyone. 

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” 

Logan tucked her tight under his chin and in his arms. He whispered apologies and spoke reassurances into her hair, white strands sticking to his lips, reminding him of his failure. He held her as she shook with sobs that were muffled by his chest. She squeezed him tight, and he held her tighter, rubbing her back, petting her hair as he comforted her. 

Not much time had passed as the children chased and wrestled one another. Serena enjoyed her respite under a weeping willow watching the kids play. The weather was lovely as she relaxed against the trunk of the tree, taking in the soft breeze that rustled her hair. It was peaceful until faint, frantic calls broke her reverie. 

“Miss Mar!”

She was alert as she tried to locate which child had called her with such desperation. The children she watched were oblivious as they played. There were no distressed children among them, and none had reacted to the calls. Only she could hear the cries.

“Miss Mar, I need you!” 

Her stomach dropped, and she sprang to her feet, facing the direction it came from. She recognized it as Theresa, but after scanning the field she could see that she wasn’t in the immediate vicinity. The calls emanated from deep in the forest. As if possessed, Serena made no second guesses as she propelled her body deep into the forest. 

“Help me!” 

That wasn’t the cry of a child who’d fallen and scraped her knee—it was a desperate, ragged sound, filled with a terror that went beyond a simple scrape. Her adrenaline surged, muscles screaming, as she pushed herself to run faster and harder than ever before, the wind whipping past her face. A strangled gasp hitched in her throat, icy dread seizing her breath, as she couldn’t respond to the calls. She felt the rough, uneven surface of the rocks digging into the soles of her feet, causing a burning sensation. Low-hanging branches whipped and cut at her exposed skin as she pushed through the undergrowth, her focus on reaching Theresa. She had tunnel vision and saw only what was in front of her. 

Serena had no recollection of when she last saw the girl in the field, and couldn’t understand why she was in the thicket. Knowing the risks, the children stayed close, Theresa in particular, who always obeyed. Above all, she dreaded the thought that she was not out there voluntarily. Propelled by a blend of haunting whispers and unanswered questions, she drove toward the source of the cries, a sense of foreboding heavy in the air. She could only pray the calls that came from her heart reached Theresa somehow. 

A searing, white-hot pain shot through her face as an unyielding force slammed her onto her back, her head hitting the unforgiving ground with a sickening thud. Her racing thoughts ceased as agonizing pain consumed her senses. Groans and moans filled the air, a chilling sound she realized was coming from her own throat. All she registered was the metallic taste of blood spreading in her mouth. 

“Goodness, could you have been a bit more tactful? You could’ve killed her.” A woman said.

Serena heard a serpentine, disapproving voice that stirred a distant familiarity. Her head lolled and rolled, her vision blurry as she scanned the surroundings for a flash of red hair she was still intent on finding. 

“You did a number on her, didn’t you?” The woman said.

A mixture of growls and chuckles filled her ears. As her eyes focused, Theresa appeared, bringing a sense of relief that made her reach out. A bright smile lit up Theresa’s face as she grasped Serena’s hand, their fingers interlacing. Then Theresa gave her hand a painful squeeze. Serena flinched and attempted to pull away, her eyes wide with confusion as she questioned the girl. Theresa’s face seemed to melt, scales shifting and reforming, revealing something or someone that filled her with a sickening dread, a vision that burned itself into her memory.

 “What’s wrong? You were so happy to see me.” 

Blue scales shimmered like the surface of the deepest lakes, hair the wrong shade of red and eyes that burned a frightening shade of yellow stared into her own brown. A sharp, agonizing squeeze followed by a sickening pop in her hand caused her to gasp, a scream threatening to be unleashed. A cold, blue hand clamped over her mouth in an instant, silencing her sobs as tears streamed down her face. Her eyes shivered, frantic with fear and panic. 

“Ah, ah, none of that. I remember what you can do. Sabretooth?” 

The blue woman held out her hand to the large, beast-like man. Serena felt the ground shake beneath her with each step he took as he handed the woman a rag. Panic exploded in her heart, a frantic drumbeat against her ribs. A crushing weight settled on her chest as her long-dreaded nightmare was now being realized. Incoherent and barely conscious, she wouldn’t be able to escape either of them. Hot tears streamed down her face as the weight of the X-Men’s broken promise crashed down on her. 

“Scream, make a sound and we’ll kill every child in that field you left unsupervised. Starting with your little Theresa.” The blue woman said.

The blue witch spoke with the venom of a snake and bit like a viper. An icy dread filled her, seeping into her bones as Serena stared into those luminous, golden eyes. Regardless of its truth, the threat worked. Serena froze for a second, and that was all the woman needed to apply the gag without a struggle. Any hope she had of saving herself fizzled out. Serena felt sick as her stomach flipped and her vision faded, seeing double. She searched frantically for sight of Theresa before she lost consciousness. Dizziness and lethargy swallowed her, and she couldn’t tell from what direction she’d come. 

“I’d think twice before making a run for it.” The woman said.

She pointed to the monstrous man next to her, someone she recognized as well, spotting the familiar shock of red that hung off his shoulder like a sack. The limp way the girl hung made Serena’s blood run cold, and she surged to her feet. The rag muffled her cries as she slammed against a tree in a desperate attempt to reach the girl. A vicious attack of vertigo struck her, and she thought she might have a concussion. Echoes of sinister laughter bounced around her head as she squeezed her head between her hands trying to steady herself and push out the pain. As she held her head, she remembered one last man who haunted her and completed the scene that played out before her. Her eyes wildly searched for him. 

The woman’s tone was sly and infuriating as she addressed her. “Don’t worry about him. You’ll see him soon enough. Sabretooth?”

The beast approached, the thunderous sounds of its steps splitting her skull as she held it, propping herself against the tree that supported her. They’d captured Theresa, incapacitated Serena, and she could do nothing to stop them. Stop them from taking them both and threatening the other children. She was supposed to be their guardian and protector, but she’d failed them. Failed herself and her dream. She tasted the familiar bitterness of defeat on her tongue. 

Serena felt powerless, foolish, and betrayed. She blamed herself. Believing she should never have stopped running and should’ve known better than to trust anyone. The Professor wasn’t here, and the one assigned to protect her wanted nothing to do with her. Her vulnerability was laid bare before their knowing eyes, and she was alone. 

Her heart ached in tandem with her head as fear spiked her heart rate to dangerous levels. She tried to fight the coming darkness in her vision by telling herself that they’ll hurt the children; they’ll kill everyone if her eyes close. A silent, desperate plea filled Serena’s mind and heart; a fervent prayer that her children would remain safe and unharmed, that no ill fate would befall them. Frantic prayers filled her last conscious moments as she watched, defenseless, Sabretooth cock his fist back before unleashing the devastating blow. She cried for Logan.   

Logan had held Marie in his embrace for some time, as he wanted her to take as much of him as she needed. Until Logan felt her squirm as she spoke against him, but their embrace muffled her sound. 

“What was that, kid?” 

She wiggled her face out of his chest, face flushed and damp.

“I said, I can’t breathe!”

Loosening his hold on her, she stepped out from under his arms, trying her best to wipe at her hair and face. She looked like a swollen tomato. The visual made him chuckle, and she reared up at him.

“Are you laughin’ at me!?” 

The crying had plugged up her nose and intensified her accent. The sound of her voice set him off into a fit of laughter. She tried to appear indignant but couldn’t help but join him with her own laughter. She portrayed false anger as she attempted to wipe her nose. 

“Ugh, I can’t breathe now! This is all your fault!” 

“I’m not the crybaby, kid.” 

The empty foyer continued to echo with his laughter and Marie’s curses as he protected himself from her mighty fists of fury.  

“Logan.”

He stilled. Sensing something, with his posture erect, he cocked his head trying to pick up any abnormalities in and around the compound with his heightened senses. Marie did not notice the change and continued pummeling him. He tried to call her attention.

“Marie. Marie! Rogue!” 

The sudden name change halted her, alerting her to the change in the air. She stilled, unmoving, and looked at him with bated breath. Watching as he tried to find what he was looking for and waiting for his direction. Rogue had known him long enough to give him space and let him do his thing; they’d been fighting alongside one another for years now.

He picked up nothing but knew something had gone awry.

“Something’s wrong.” Logan said.

Rogue took a sharp breath. Then he heard it — the quick footsteps of a child as they came up the entrance steps. Logan turned his attention to the door, awaiting who he believed would be their messenger. The door swung open to reveal the boy he recognized as Jones, who never slept, his glasses askew, and fear on his face.

“Rogue!”

Logan assumed he came looking for her but saw Wolverine and a bit of relief settled over his face, tears welling in his eyes. 

“Wolverine! It’s Theresa! We can’t find her! And—and we can’t find Miss Mar!”  

Before he’d known what he was doing, he was running past the academy doors, past the frantic searching children, past the fields and into the woods. It was her he had sensed. Whatever the call was, it was from Serena. As he ran, the air that filled his lungs carried an array of scents, and as his senses flooded, he sought hers. He picked it up at once, the fragrance of rich, sun-kissed sweetness from her morning still clinging to it. He inhaled deeply. Smelling her sweat, rich with pheromones, almost tangible, caused his jaw to tick with an involuntary response. 

The scent alone spurred him on, driving him to run ever faster. Her scent was all over the place, winding this way and that. He couldn’t understand what had driven her so deep into the woods, then he smelled it. The scent of blood and a babe. His claws released of their own accord, and his blood ran cold. He kicked up various debris from the forest floor as he skidded to a halt. The area looked no different from any other part of the wood, but beyond the sweetness of her perfume, the acrid smells of his enemies mixed with the familiar scent of tears and now blood, provoking a guttural snarl to erupt from him. With a furious roar that echoed through the woods, he slashed at the surrounding trees, the scent of pine and sap filling the air as his claws ripped through the wood in a fit of rage. 

His chest rose and fell with the power of the breaths he took. His failure consumed him as the scent of fear, tears, and their enemies surrounded him, fueling his rage. He was supposed to be watching her, and he’d played right into their hands. They had them both, taken them from right under his nose. Took them from the school with the X-Men there, and they’d served them up on a silver platter. A fool is what he was for letting his own pettiness and fear override his sense. Digging his nails into scalp, he wanted to tear at himself as he howled into the canopy of the trees. 

He worked to steady himself and refocus his anger on tracking Serena and Theresa. Find them. Find her. Like a mantra, he repeated it to himself. When a puff of smoke and a sudden figure appeared. Logan lashed out on instinct and gripped a throat. Kurt’s choking face met Logan’s as his scratching claws bit into Logan’s throat-gripping hand.

“Logan! Drop him!” Scott said.

Great. He hadn’t meant to grab the kid like that anyway, so he dropped him, but not because Scott told him to. Kurt hit the ground hard, working to catch his breath, hacking. He snarled at the two and turned to leave to track down the girls. 

“Logan, wait!” 

“There’s no time to wait! The Brotherhood has Theresa and Serena. We have to find them before they get to Magneto!” 

Logan ignored Scott as he walked away when a sudden beam blew past him and erupted the tree nearest to him. He didn’t flinch as the exploding shards cut into him as they exploded.

“I said, wait.” 

He whirled with fury, claws out at his side. He wanted to tear everything apart and go on a path of destruction. 

“What don’t you get?! Am I going to have to make you understand, bub?” 

“Logan think! How stupid do you have to be to think you can rush headlong into a fight with Magneto? You know what happened last time!” 

The last time he couldn’t stop Marie from being taken, Magneto threw him like a rag doll, and he could do nothing about it as her screams echoed inside the train car. 

“We need everyone here. We need to wait for The Professor and Storm!” 

“And you call me stupid! You think Magneto is going to wait to do something to her? He’s been hunting her for years!” 

“And that’s why you were supposed to be watching her!” 

He thanked whatever god cursed Scott with the mutation that wouldn’t allow people to see his eyes because Logan knew if he’d seen the complete expression Scott gave him, he would’ve run him through in an instant. The last thing he’d take from Scott was a look of disappointment. 

“And because you couldn’t.” 

Logan saw the corner of Scott's mouth twitch and his jaw clench. Everyone knew the amazing Scott Summers, leader of the X-Men, hadn’t been the same man he used to be since Jean died. Not that Logan blamed him, but to act so high and mighty as if he was someone who could deliver those lines with weight and not some ghost of his former self, pissed him off. Logan felt a sick sense of satisfaction that he could get under Scott’s skin and hurt his ego. 

“Show me you know how to learn a lesson, Logan.”  

“Girls flirt with the dangerous guy, Logan.”

He launched himself at Scott with a roar, but before he reached him, he went up in smoke, appearing several paces back. The sudden tackle from the elf had Scott reappearing on the ground. At Scott’s side, he tripped over his words, holding up his hands in a surrendering motion, as he tried to pacify Logan.

“Mr. Logan, uh, Mr. Wolverine, please—” 

He ignored the kid’s pleading, crouching and taking his infamous wide stance. Claws on display as he roared at Scott. His anger burned, a fierce and uncontrolled blaze. He didn’t care whether he was in the wrong or if Scott was right. That if he ran straight to Magneto and The Brotherhood, they’d install him like wall décor inside their base. 

“How about you show me you're a man!” 

Scott's face was unreadable. 

At the core of their relationship, he and Scott, respected one another. They weren’t what some would call close, but they weren’t enemies. They were just two men who loved the same woman. Two men who held onto each other when she died, but like night and day, they could not be more different. He had asked Jean to choose between the sun and the moon, when he had no business doing so, but he wanted her. Wanted her bad enough to take her from Scott, but she didn’t want Logan, not in the way he wanted her. 

“Okay.” Scott said.

He then picked himself up and dusted himself off.

Somewhere beyond the blood Logan heard rushing in his ears, he could hear the fuzzy elf begging Scott not to do whatever he was going to do. Logan felt the rush of triumph, and wanted to beat his chest, as he prepared for an ensuing fight he would relish. Once prepared, Scott gave him a long hard look through his visor. Logan stiffened as he prepared for battle and trained his eyes on him. Then Scott turned his back on him and walked away. Leaving a howling, defeated Wolverine in his wake.  

“They marry the good guy.”

Chapter Text

The sound of gentle weeping roused Serena from her slumber. As she came to, a heaviness enveloped her body, each muscle aching with a dull throb. Accompanied by a thick mental fog that made it nearly impossible to think. She lay pressed against a damp stone floor that chilled her to the bone, the warmth of the sun from that morning long gone. Her mouth met resistance against a makeshift gag that chafed against her lips, tasting foul on her tongue. Pain drummed through her body as she fought through exhaustion, following her instinct to find the source of the soft cries.

As fragmented memories clawed their way out of her mind, each one provided a fresh shot of adrenaline, fueling her with the strength to move. Her body shook as she worked to lift herself from the cold floor. When an intense pain shot through her hand, she crashed back onto the floor. The dim lighting of her new environment made it difficult to see anything as she tried to inspect the source of her pain.

From what she could make out, the hand that Logan had caressed not so long ago was now discolored and swelling. It was the hand that was twisted and broken during her initial capture. When an itch brought the hand to her face, there was crusted blood on her nose and chin. Noticing that while her face felt the pain from being punched in, her nose wasn’t bent at an odd angle. Almost laughing at the vanity of her revelation, she was quick to sober at the feel of swelling that came from her eyes.

Through the swelling, her vision began adapting to the dull lighting in the room, allowing her to observe her surroundings. It was a horror movie, complete with flickering lights and eerie shadows. She was in a cell in what seemed like an abandoned medical ward. Reminiscent of the unethical mental institutions of the past. Dark, spreading stains of black mold crept down the ruined wallpaper, smelling faintly of mildew and decay. There was a prickling unease that settled under her skin as the shadows deepened and lengthened, a feeling that something dreadful was in store.

Renewed whimpers broke through her reverie, clearing her thoughts and reminding her she was not alone. Theresa. With the girl on her mind, Serena gained renewed vigor as she pulled her body into a kneeling crawl. The motion caused rattling sounds to set off behind her. Looking over her shoulder, she failed to notice the heaviness of the chain on one of her ankles. They’d beaten, gagged, and chained her.

The echo of similar chains rattling and muffled sounds from across the room helped halt the growing panic she felt rising inside her. Squinting across the room, she saw her little girl. Theresa pressed against the bars of the cell she was in as she tried to call for Serena’s attention. Fury rose in Serena when she saw the girl in a similar gagged and chained state. Serena crawled to the bars of her cell, straining against them, broken hand and sore body forgotten.

All Serena could do what shout inside her mind and against her gag, that she would save her. She made awful sounds against her restraints. Looking into the young girl’s eyes, Serena tried to convey her messages as she reached through the bars. Serena’s efforts caused fresh tears to stream down the girl’s already tear-stained cheeks as she reached back for her. The sight of the child and the sound of her broken cries touched a primal part of her, sending her into a feverish state.

She rose to her feet with a strength she didn’t feel and banged against the bars. When they didn’t budge, she began throwing her body into them with pitiful but determined strength. She grunted and groaned, set on breaking her body against her prison. With every collision against the iron wall, Theresa’s muffled screams grew louder, feeding her increasing hysteria. Either she was going to break first or the cell would.

A sudden yank pulled her feet out from under her, and her head struck the ground in a burst of lights as something pulled her up to hang upside down. She couldn’t tell if the muffled scream came from her or Theresa as she hung limp, her body swinging from side to side. With colors bursting in her eyes, she felt moisture forming at the side of her head. Then she heard the smacking of lips and a haughty chuckle.

“Goodness, my dear, you would think we had captured a wild animal with the sort of fuss you were making.” A man with an accented voice said.

There were no more cries as the only sounds echoing in the room were those of booted steps and droplets hitting the stone floor.

“We can’t have you killing yourself now, can we? Please calm yourself.”

She knew who had entered the room, even before he brought her to the front of the cell.

“I apologize for my underling’s rude behavior. I have properly reprimanded him, I assure you.”

As her vision cleared, she saw the inverted visage of an older man with a shock of white hair, and piercing eyes that looked straight through her. It felt as if all the blood in her body was draining from the wound in her head, and she trembled as she hung before him. She watched his proud face morph into false pity.

“Oh, my dear, there’s nothing to fear. As I had told you the first time we met, I’m here to save you.”

The smile that graced his face was nauseating and didn’t help the vertigo she was currently experiencing. He took pity on her as he lowered her to the ground with more care than he’d had when he’d stopped her. From under her matted hair, she watched as he looked down on her, shadowed by the overhead light. His gaze was menacing as his eyes shone, triggering the memory of their first meeting.

She’d been fresh on the run when he’d found her. Under the cover of darkness, she hid and stuck to small, dark corners as she hopped from city to city. Curled next to a dumpster in a dark alleyway, he emerged from the darkness, accompanied by a striking blue woman and a beastly man. It was clear they were mutants, but until this point in her life, she had known nothing about mutants. The only inclination she had that time was to fear them as she feared herself.

He’d been one of the first people who’d spoken to her since the incident, as she spent weeks avoiding human interaction. He’d introduced himself as Magneto, savior of mutants, as well as his companions Mystique and Sabretooth. Although an inner voice cautioned her about the danger they posed, her animal instincts might have recognized them as predators and her as prey.

Magneto was aware of her actions, though he hadn’t revealed how he’d located her. He showered her destruction with praise, using every beautiful word imaginable. He waxed poetry about what she had done, and to a young girl who wanted to be everything he said she was… it had felt good. She wanted to be the person he said she was — everything and more. As his companions looked on from either side of him with uncanny smiles and unreadable eyes, all she saw was his vision. His words touched parts inside of her she thought didn’t exist. His passion bled through his eyes, and she knew he believed every word he spoke to her; she believed it too. Maybe he could save her and make her into something beautiful, like the woman at his side, something powerful, but the sensation of wrongness nagged at her.

Her mother’s necklace burned against her chest as an unknown force urged her to run to avoid being lost forever. Before Magneto could capture her or her mind, she bolted. Scrambled deeper into the alley as fast as she could. Behind her, she heard his icy voice instruct someone to capture her, followed by the snarling of an animal. Unable to scream for help, she felt the world crash down on her as the beast secured her and drug her back to its master. As she struggled against him, she’d caught Sabretooth’s dark eyes, and when they locked onto one another, a sudden calm replaced her panic. Her gaze intensified as a surreal sensation overcame her, like peering into his soul and searching its depths. Just as Magneto had said, she felt powerful. His heartbeat was clear, as were the sounds in the alley’s shadows, and no sound escaped her. It was a euphoric sensation similar to when she reached for the rapture that had leveled her neighborhood.

Then he was hers, and she could do anything she wanted with him. So she commanded him to let her go, and he did. Setting her down with care, she looked past him towards Magneto and Mystique. Ignoring his look of awe and obsession. Ignoring his compliments, she commanded them to leave. Like the beast man had done moments before, they listened, and they left. When she’d broken from the trancelike state, she felt only disgust for what she’d done.

Alone and in fear of herself, she’d gotten sick in the alley that night. Struggling against the reality of what she was capable of, she’d stripped them of their autonomy. But what sickened her most was the dark part of her that enjoyed it. Reveled in the control she had over another being, especially the strength to influence powerful mutants. She’d tasted overwhelming power for the first time and found that she was the worst kind of monster. The burden of her power was too much for her, crushing her spirit and intensifying her self-loathing.

Her reckless use of power left her feeling like she was on the verge of death then. She subsequently passed out for several hours, and upon waking, resumed fleeing. Not knowing how long her command would last, nor did she want to find out, she knew she never wanted to see them again. Never again did she want to unleash the creature slumbering within her, so she suppressed it. Buried it so deep within herself that she guaranteed its voice would remain unheard.

As she broke from the memory, his gaze was no different. For how long it’d been, it still haunted her. She knew he would find her again, driven by his dark obsession and insatiable possessiveness.

His smile did not reach his eyes when he addressed her again. “It looks like I was right to come and save you.”

She threw him a nasty look, curling her lip at him.

“My, my, how scary. Too bad it seems you’ve lost your beautiful song.”

He sucked his teeth, and she guessed he didn’t just mean the gag. He knew she couldn’t sing anymore. Serena’s face betrayed her as he smiled at her.

“Did you think that when we finally tracked you down, we wouldn’t do some reconnaissance?”

Mystique entered the room and then, sliding up to his side, shifted into dozens of faces. Faces of children, of the X-Men, of her friends. Serena couldn’t fathom when she had entered the academy or how long she had been inside. The thought that she had potentially sat and laughed with her without noticing filled her with terror. The horror on her face elicited a sinister laugh from Mystique.

“We know something has crippled you, but we don’t know what.” Magneto continued as he knelt at her level, observing her. “We saw no trace of physical harm on your body. Intact tongue and no scarring. So, the only other conclusion we can make is that something must’ve gotten into your little mind.”

She froze.

“Don’t worry, my dear girl, we’ll get it out of you yet. You see, a siren would be an extremely helpful addition to our plans. Especially one as powerful as you, strong enough to make even me turn away.”

She believed he would do anything it took to get her to sing again, and only for him. Commit any injustice to get what he wanted and say it was for the greater good of mutant-kind, just as he’d told her before. Her reluctance would not stop him.

Fear and helplessness riddled her. She wanted to give up and give him what he wanted, but if she did, she could only imagine the horror he’d force her to inflict. If she were truly alone, she might have faltered, but she wasn’t. There was an innocent child here that needed her. She tried to get a glimpse of the girl once more, but Magneto effectively blocked her off from view.

He followed the direction of her gaze, turning to look over his shoulder. “Ah, yes, the girl. Well, she’s here for a bit of insurance.”

Her blood ran colder than the chill of the stone that bit into her bones. She scrambled painfully over to grasp onto the bars once more, injuring her hand further, searching his eyes for an answer regarding what he meant.

He gave her a condescending look as if what he’d do was obvious, but Serena didn’t want to accept it. “Well, how else are we going to set your voice free? You clearly will have to want to. Because if you don’t…”

She followed his line of sight as he looked back at Theresa from the corner of his eye. What he’d done to Marie proved he did not bluff. The heavy implication of harm coming to Theresa brought out a wildness from Serena. The threat of harm to the child, while she was still alive, ignited a maternal rage within her.

She searched for something, anything, or a way out of her cell but found nothing. She screamed against her gag as she raged against her cell. Raking her nails against the floor and walls of the prison they’d locked her in. When she found no crevice, she clawed at herself as her captors watched her, unimpressed and wearing masks of apathy. Throwing herself at the bars, she reached for them and howled like a caged animal.

“That’s quite enough out of you; it’s unsightly.” Magneto said.

Mystique moved quicker than she could react, and grabbed the injured hand she’d waved recklessly out of her cell. She bent Serena’s hand back with sick satisfaction and brought her to her knees as she cried out. This time she released her, sending Serena reeling back into her cage, cradling her arm. Through fresh tears, she watched Mystique look down at her with sick delight.

“Get your rest. We have quite a lot of work to do.” He said.

Magneto threw one last sharp glance at her before he turned to leave, Mystique at his back tossing a twisted smile at her. Just before exiting fully, he addressed the redheaded girl.

“Pray for your own sake that she sings sooner rather than later.”

The threat hung in the air as the metal door screeched and slammed behind them. When she could see Theresa again, the girl’s eyes were wide with shock and fear. It broke Serena’s heart, and she tried calling to her against her restraint. But got no response as the girl shut down and crawled to the back corner of her cell. Serena could barely see even the red shine of her hair as she curled in on herself while listening to the sound of the child’s renewed whimpers.

It was hell. This was hell. Unable to prevent them from being in this situation, she couldn’t even get them out. Theresa was here because of her, and she may never recover from this terror. The weight of the guilt pushed Serena down as she crumpled to the ground, turning in on herself like she’d wanted to since she’d awakened. Silent tears spilled onto the ground as soft cries echoed inside what was now their prison. One of the many cries that would inhabit the room in the coming days.

——

Sometimes the pain made Serena feel like weeks had passed since they began strapping her to the table in the center of their prison. When it had most likely just been a few days, if that. They called it training, but they treated her more like a prisoner of war—she wasn’t a soldier, and hadn’t received training for anything close to similar. She had a gentle soul, clear in her love of animals and bright blossoms, a tenderness that now extended to children. The agonizing, brutal treatment and relentless degradation did not suit her body and spirit.

It was those beautiful things that she thought of as every inch of her body ached. Serena thought of them and the beloved little girl trapped with her in this hell as she repeatedly reached the brink of her limits. Theresa, who had to cover her eyes and ears every time they approached Serena’s cell when her lessons would begin.

When she’d first been free’d from her shackles, she’d run towards Theresa’s cell, slamming herself against it with reckless abandon. She’d grabbed and held the young girl tight through the bars to the point she’d squeezed the air from her lungs. With tenderness, she cupped the girl’s face and showered her with affectionate kisses. Seeing the little girl’s cheeks, red and raw from her frantic attempts to tear away her gag, laced Serena’s heart with fresh sorrow.

Her hand was frantic as it moved through Theresa’s matted hair as she tried to mouth messages to her. Words like “hope,” “love,” and “safety” — she prayed to any god that would listen to help soothe Theresa’s soul. Since their abduction, Serena’s fear that the girl despised her after the incident consumed her, yet Theresa’s tight embrace through the bars brought her comfort. But the absence of judgment in Theresa’s eyes brought Serena a profound sense of peace.

She hoped Theresa understood at least one of her promises before the abrupt arrival of her escort, who led her from her cell to a table. It then became routine; they brought her out, then tied her to the table in the room’s center. Before each session, she’d signal the girl to avert her gaze and muffle her ears; Theresa, initially hesitant, always obeyed, but Serena hated knowing that her screams would be the ones that would haunt the child and that if she’d lost her life, it’d be the last memory Theresa had of her.

Their goal was to break her open and expose what lay hidden within. To possess her mutation and twist her mind in their favor, so that she would be their weapon. She’d try to hold out for as long as she could before she’d cry out, but even then what they wanted wouldn’t come. The destruction they craved never came. All the abuse affirmed was that her power was still there just as it always had been, but that pain or fear wouldn’t coax it. It remained inactive, like a sleeping giant, present yet waiting.

The feeling of freedom had liberated her mutation, yet she was being caged and contained. With every punishment, her connection would wane. There were times she could no longer feel it and thought they’d beaten it out of her, but then she would feel an old familiar sensation inside. Just out of reach, it taunted Serena, who felt it was a deserved punishment for her sins. There were times during her delirium were she hoped they could rip it out of her so everything would stop, but then the fear would return. Thoughts of what consequences would occur if they accomplished her goal.

Of what could happen to this world if they took her mind as they tried to take her strength. Serena knew what had happened when they’d taken Charles’ mind. While it hadn’t been Magneto’s team, he was no fool and knew that she wouldn’t do his bidding even if able. From what Xavier had shared with her, this was a resourceful man, and she didn’t want to find out if she could make someone as strong as The Professor do as she asked. Do as Magneto wanted. Though her fears may be irrational, they isolated her, creating a gulf between her and that part of herself. She determined the risk to be too high, so she’d be as uncooperative as possible until she had no other choice.

Theresa being the choice. She had to hold out long enough not to give them anything and to keep Theresa from being rendered useless. Not knowing Magneto or his team well, she hoped she understood him enough that he wouldn’t hurt a mutant child unless he was out of options. What she didn’t know was what his options were, but Serena wanted to exhaust them all before then. So, she took it all, and unfortunately for Serena, Mystique was inventive and would forever haunt her dreams no matter how long she lived.

Mind games, drugs, pain, sometimes all three. She was in an almost constant state of disillusionment. They didn’t push her too far for fear of ending her life, but she found it to be more maddening. To be pushed so far, wanting it to end forever only to be pulled back for it to start all over again. But after every end, her anxiety would continue to build, as she couldn’t guess when they’d decide they’d had enough of her games and pull their trump card.

In recent sessions, there had been moments where it felt so close, until they broke her spirit once more. Times when it felt so close and she recognized it would take just one turn of a key to release it from its irons, but she hesitated. More than a decade had passed since Serena’s last experience of such unburdened freedom. Since she had poured her heart and soul into her song, touching lives with its beauty, it had become her entire world.

For every tear of pain that fell, one of sorrow accompanied it, but she forced herself to wait. She didn’t know what it was she waited for, but it wasn’t time. Yet she knew when the time came, she’d be ready, so she resisted the seductive sensation of wanting to be freed.

A part of Serena believed that those she now considered family were what she had been waiting for, but she worried. The question of finding them soon hung over her like a heavy cloud of doubt. In her darkest moments, she'd fantasize that when they reunited, she would overcome her own trauma and use her own voice to tell everyone how thankful she was to them. Tell them how much she loved them and how they’ve made her life worth living.

The sensation of hot tears falling from her eyes brought her back to the reality of her lying face down on the floor of her cell. The now-familiar chill of the stone permeated her bones as she contemplated her reality during a period of unexpected rest. She made quick work of her tears before turning to her opposite side, to face Theresa’s cell. Calling the girls’ attention with a shake of her chains.

When they both lay in their cells, they’d often find one another, gazing at each other through the unforgiving bars of their cells. The sight of one another was their only solace, and they would often attempt to convey love and silent promises through their mutual gaze. There were times Serena would try to make funny faces at Theresa or move her body to make the girl smile through her restraints. It’s all she could do for her. Though Serena had often kept her back to the girl, as she just had when trying to hide her tears, though the sounds of her weeping were impossible to ignore since they echoed in the small space. She’d act as if nothing had happened, and when she felt better, she tried to make Theresa feel better too.

This time they just looked at each other, too tired to do more, when Serena picked up a distant sound she hadn’t heard before. The confused look on Theresa’s face as they looked at one another in confusion from opposite ends of the room confirmed she’d heard it too. More distant noises sounded, but none she could make out. Then she heard the now very familiar sound of heavy footsteps coming towards the door.

Into the room burst Sabretooth, in a rush and looking worse for wear. The coat he wore looked torn. Frayed and even burnt in some parts. Stained with dirt and blood that was running down from his brow. Fury filled his blackened eyes while rage contorted his face. Through the door he’d let swing open, she could hear distant cries and yells that were followed by sounds of destruction. But his direct look towards her distracted her as he barreled over to her cell, ripping the doors of her cage open. He roared at her as she watched in astonishment.

“It’s time to shine, girly! We have to cut the fun short!”

He grabbed hold of the chain that anchored her to the ground and tore it free with ease. He cut off her gag with his claws, tearing into her cheek as it came loose. They removed it only during her torture, but this time, a session didn’t seem likely. She stared in awe as he hauled her up and out, realizing he’d gone easy on her when he’d beaten her.

He brought her face to his as he snarled and spat. “You’re coming with me! But first you need to hurry and bring this whole place down so we can get out, you useless bitch!”

Extreme confusion threw her off, making her mouth move like a fish, yet her ears filled with the sounds of what she could only speculate were the sounds of battle. Her heart leapt into her throat at the hope that someone had come and that they had made it in time. That their suffering was over and the nightmare had ended. Ororo, Kitty, Marie, Scott, and maybe even Logan had come! His name tasted sour regarding her predicament, but it vanished as soon as it came as she’d be overjoyed if that grouch were to come bursting through that door.

Sabretooth shook her by her collar.

“Don’t worry about what’s going on out there! You need to be worried about what’s about to happen in here if you don’t get to screamin’.”

She cried out in pain as he threw her across the ground of her personal jail. Another explosion of destruction caught her attention. Sabretooth tore open the bars of the cage Theresa was in. He grabbed the little girl by her neck and swung her, presenting her to Serena as if she were some trophy or won game. His giant hand enveloped the girl’s throat as she dangled in his hand; terror seized Serena.

He held Theresa’s face parallel to his own, making sure Serena would have to look between the sheer look of terror on the little girl’s face and his look of promise.

“Tear this place down now or I’ll snap her neck.”

Serena didn’t know what to do. Since the beginning, the members of The Brotherhood have taken precautions when dealing with them. Whenever around them, they wore auditory protectors in their ears. In case there was a breakthrough, they at least would suffer only minimal damage. But this room, while made of stone and sturdy materials, was crumbling. It was apparent that someone had found and reinforced the room for its intended purpose, but the room’s ability to withstand her destruction was untested.

Serena doubted not only the building’s infrastructure but also the possibility of being trapped with Sabretooth, a bad idea for many reasons. There was no doubt in her mind that his body could withstand a collapse while protecting them, but she couldn’t risk him escaping with them, restarting the cycle elsewhere, and losing their only chance to be free; that was the worst-case scenario.

Her gaze had shifted between Theresa and Sabretooth as she was desperate to find a favorable solution. Then Theresa had caught her eye, as the look of terror on the girl’s face had changed to one of determination. The girl made a scene of clawing at the beast’s hand enclosed around her throat yet made several pointed passes at her ear while throwing several looks at Sabretooth, looking to him sideways. He hadn’t noticed as he just snapped at the girl, shaking her into compliance, but Serena did.

“Alright then, I guess you need a countdown before her head pops off. We’ll start at three!”

Adrenaline flooded her system; she knew what Theresa meant.

“Two!”

They were sonic mutants; they had similar compositions and resistances.

“One!”

But Sabretooth didn’t.

At the moment, everything seemed to play out in just a matter of seconds. Serena watched as Theresa pooled all the strength she had left in her little body into one attack. Since he’d held her so close to him, she could reach out and gouge the side of Sabretooth’s face with her tiny nails. He dropped the girl in favor of clutching his injured ear.

“Argh! You little bitch!”

The moment Theresa had hit the ground, though she crumbled onto her hands and knees, wasted no time launching herself off the ground, flying into Serena’s awaiting arms. She enveloped the little girl’s body with her own and pressed their bodies against the bars of her cell that had held against Sabretooth’s earlier attack. Sabretooth was quick to recover and advanced, but it was too late as Serena’s time had come.

As if someone had released thousands of butterflies inside her, she was sure this was the moment she had longed for. What had slept inside her had awakened as it reverberated inside her. The song was alive as it rushed through her veins, and she knew it would be strong. Reconnecting felt like a warm embrace, a sense of wholeness that eased her mind and soul. Although fear was present, her determination and acceptance conquered it. If death was imminent, then she would rather have a choice and do what she could to save the child.

It was unfortunate for Sabretooth that he hadn’t realized the reason Theresa had attacked him was not only to be released but also to dislodge at least one of his sound blockers. She wouldn’t lie; his face, contorted in an expression of stark terror as she opened her mouth, was a beautiful sight to her. Right before, with a silent breath, she offered a fleeting prayer, a whispered hope to any listening god for the child’s protection and the fighters’ success. Then gave voice to her song.

—Serena woke to the sound of soft cries. Déjà vu. She couldn’t tell how long she had been unconscious, and it took her a moment to collect herself as she surveyed herself as well as her surroundings. Everything was pitch black as she came to, and she could tell she was lying on her back, a heavy weight on her chest. If she hadn’t felt like hell before, she felt like it now. There was fresh pain everywhere, but it felt as if she was floating and lightheaded. Her entire body pulsed along with each beat of her heart, and she attempted to tune in to the situation she was in.

Her throat and chest were sore as she recalled the moment before waking. Her worries proved justified as the foundation had failed. She had put their lives in grave danger, but her reckless plan to hold them by the reinforced cell gates succeeded since the stone did not crush them. As she could hear by the girl’s cries above her, clearer than they’d ever been as she cried into Serena’s chest. She was sluggish but successful as he lifted a lead arm to lie over what she believed to be the crying child.

A gasping rasp answered her. “M-Miss Mar, you’re alive!”

Pitiful sobs followed the exclamation, and Serena smiled. She had the sudden urge to laugh, but the tickle in her chest turned to painful hacking coughs. The taste of blood on her tongue was alarming.

“Miss Mar! Don’t move, you’re… you’re hurt. I—I tried to stop the bleeding as much as I could, but I-I-I don’t know.”

Theresa collapsed into a fit of sobs on top of her. She was glad to hear the little girl’s wails at full volume and was thankful she’d found her way out of her restraints. Though Serena struggled to breathe, the girl’s weight on her chest was comforting. If Theresa was mentioning blood loss, it would explain why parts of her body felt tight and numb, others wet. She noticed that the smell of blood was indeed heavy in the air, thicker than usual. But Serena didn’t know which part of her was worse off as everywhere felt varying degrees of pain or numbness, so she listened to the young girl’s instructions.

Theresa was a smart girl; she was serious about her lessons, and Serena knew the instructors had taught the children some type of first aid. Learning about the school raid, she was furious and terrified for the children’s safety. Storm had reassured her they were strong, and they were teaching them all the skills they needed to help prevent and adapt. Yet, Serena felt terrible that she was the reason the girl would have to scramble for her knowledge now, and the possibility of Theresa being trapped in a caved-in hole, witnessing her death, would forever haunt her. It’d never allow her to rest in peace.

To her sweet and kind Theresa, she expressed deep remorse and sorrow. The girl who helped her find her voice and her love. She felt palpable guilt and regret, convinced she had trapped the girl in this predicament. Serena wished Theresa didn’t have to share the burden of this terrible experience, meant to be her hell alone.

She could tell the blood loss was significant as her processing power was waning and she was having difficulty completing full thoughts. Serena battled to stay awake, her eyelids heavy, terrified that sleep would claim her this time and she wouldn’t awaken. With the threat of death looming, Serena thought of the things that were most important to her. Remembering the things that she had wished for and wanted as the ground soaked up her tears.

There wasn’t enough energy for fear or regret as her brain didn’t have enough power to stop her from doing what she’s wanted to do for so long. She tried to hold the girl as tightly as she could with her last working limb as she flexed her throat. She coughed several times before she made a first successful attempt.

“T… Theresa…”

She spoke in a faint whisper, but for Theresa it was more than clear enough. It felt and sounded like she was listening to someone else speak her words. The ringing in her ears made it difficult for her to focus on how she sounded.

She felt the girl tense and then scramble to sit upright. “Miss Mar… did you just call me?” She did. “Did you just call my name?”

The girl was on the verge of tears again, and Serena smiled in the darkness at the sound of the girl’s incredulous tone. She had several more coughing fits as she tried to deliver the words she wanted to say to her and wanted to cry, realizing that it was only moments from death that she would even attempt to.

“Theresa… love… I love you.”

Her declaration threw the child into hysterics. Theresa blubbered back that she loved her too, begged her to stay with her, and assured her that someone would come for them. The young girl continued making promises to Serena about rescue, but Serena had already fallen silent. She couldn’t hear far beyond her and the girl. Deathly still, she couldn’t tell if the vibrations running through her frame were from the sobs raking the little girl’s body as she cried atop her or the ground they lay on.

Then, as if to answer her question, the surrounding earth rattled, catching Theresa’s attention. She screamed, trying to burrow deeper into Serena’s body. Serena felt perhaps the last vestiges of adrenaline that remained in her body, for the fear that their hole was caving in. Until a small stream of light seemed to burst through near them. They both went silent as the rocks that were shaking moved unnaturally and several more streams of light began bursting between the seams. In her delirium, Serena wanted to laugh and cry.

The incoming light was blinding in contrast to the previous state of total darkness they had been in. The light of the sun was overwhelming as they hadn’t seen it in God only knew how long, but Theresa’s brilliant red hair was visible to her again and she’d missed it. Theresa blocked the sun from not only her eyes but Serena as well as she lay in the shadow she cast. They could now see that the rocks and boulders above their hovel were levitating above and away from them.

As the adrenaline drained from her body, the relief that flooded her system made her want to rest. She had only the strength to look upwards towards the beautiful blue sky above them. As pretty as a painting it was, she considered learning if she had the chance again. If she had the chance.

Serena couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so peaceful as she watched the sky and felt the sun shine down on her. There was no fear, no anxiety, nothing holding her back. She hadn’t even noticed when someone took Theresa from her side. She’d been staring unblinking into the sky above until a shaking hand came across her view. Annoyed by the interruption, someone cupped her cheek, but she forgave them as the blazing heat calmed her. She closed her eyes in contentment as they tilted her face.

“Serena… Serena, I’m right here. Stay with me now. I’m gonna’ to get you out of here, darling.” A familiar voice said.

There was only one man she knew who routinely sweet-talked women like that. Her eyes were heavy, but she forced them open to see who she thought it was. Seeing Logan, she felt overwhelming joy, forgetting any slight she’d ever thrown his way. Either it was how handsome he looked as he whispered sweet nothings to her she couldn’t hear or the blood loss that made her stomach somersault. She loved the way he treated her. So gentle, she believed every word he said to her now, even though she struggled to process them. His eyes told her everything she needed to know, and she offered him a serene smile, but he didn’t return it.

She didn’t understand the devastation that marred his lovely face and wanted to hold it, to bring him the same comfort he brought her. Her arm was lead, and the sensation in it faint as she tried her best to fire every receptor that told her arm to raise itself. Her hand shook to an embarrassing degree as she tried reaching across herself to reach him. He understood her intention and met her halfway, lowering and pressing his face into her dirty palm. His face was scorching against her touch, and she shivered against the contrast to the chilling cold she felt.

Dirt and blood smeared his face. It bothered her to find that something had even singed the ends of his hair. He must have been fighting with everyone before reaching them. Warmth blossomed in her slow-rising chest when she thought of her friends putting their lives on the line as she had. It helped combat the never-ending chill she felt in her body. Even though Logan was victorious and had found them, he looked at her with a level of anxiousness that confused her.

He looked exhausted; he looked as ragged as she felt. It was serious as he took a deep breath and looked at her, following his gaze when it shifted.

“Serena… we’ll get you out of here, I promise.”

She followed his gaze, and the last remnants of her brainpower pieced together what had been so concerning. It looked to be a metal rod from the gate that had been the entrance to her cell, and she saw where Logan had gripped the base of the rod. Realizing it was protruding from the side of her abdomen, she understood the severity of the situation. Theresa hadn’t been overreacting.

“—ena, look at me!”

Serena did what she could to refocus, on the verge of passing out from the shock. Watching as he began shouting things at her, and even though they were so close, she couldn’t hear all of what he was saying, but she could see the desperation in his burning eyes. She hated that so many cried for her today, but she felt so loved in this moment. She wanted to tell him how grateful she was and how everything was going to be okay, but nothing more than a few quiet whispers escaped.

“Logan…”

Serena gave him a lovely smile. Expecting a look of surprise but not the pained expression he wore. His red-rimmed eyes watered as he turned from her. With Theresa out of harm’s way and the horror behind them, there were no more tears that needed to be shed. The sounds of desperate cries and screams no longer sounded around her. Saved at last, before giving in to the darkness, she asked the Wolverine for one last favor.

“Take me home.”

And succumbed to the dark.

Chapter Text

As Serena came to, a searing light burned through her eyelids, and the rhythmic sounds of beeping monitors greeted her. It was a drastic difference from what she’d become accustomed to waking to. The sterilized smell of a hospital had replaced the familiar smell of mildew, and her once sharp, shooting pains had lessened to sore aches.

When she opened her eyes, she had to adjust to the well-lit room. Propped in a bed, she lay attached to various tubes. Her neck was stiff because someone had braced it, and her throat flexed around an obstruction. She wondered if her captors had moved her during sleep and if they’d experimented on her. As she was alone in the room, with no bright head of flame in sight. Panic rose within her, and a monitor sounded off somewhere near her. When a familiar figure ran into the room.

“Serena! Thank the heavens you’re awake!”

Ororo. She was the most beautiful sight she’d seen in days, and Serena’s heart was heavy when she saw her. A threat of tears blurred her vision before she remembered Ororo shouldn’t be here. The only one who could be here was Mystique, and she refused to be tricked again.

Serena ignored the look of relief on the doppelgänger’s face as she took stock that no one had restrained her. She made a quick decision that she would make a break for it. Once she escaped, she’d search for Theresa. The spike of adrenaline that coursed through her body silenced any doubts concerning how she would accomplish that as she took action.

The beeping monitors were deafening as she scrambled to tear at the tubes that stuck out from every part of her. It stung, and fluids spilled from the needles she pulled from her body.

“Serena, stop! Stop! You’re hurting yourself!”

She didn’t listen, couldn’t listen as the imposter called out to her in concern with her friend’s voice. Her hatred for Mystique burned in that time, wishing she were strong enough to punish her for using Storm’s visage.

Her left arm was in a cast, and it slowed her down as the imitator moved to restrain her. Serena struggled against her and raised hell as she fought against the woman, knocking over several surrounding stands. Tools scattered across the floor, and the sight of unidentifiable tools intensified her resistance.

“You’re safe now, Serena! It’s Ororo! I promise you everything is well!” The woman said.

But Serena refused to believe her, though the woman’s desperate cries made her doubt herself. Then she heard a hastened apology before a slight shock ran through her body. It was the tiniest surge of electricity, but it had stilled her, making her hair stand on end. She knew this energy and this gesture.

Ororo was pragmatic, but she had a quiet sense of playfulness. She’d accidentally shocked her once when Serena had surprised her, causing her many curls to stand on end, eliciting laughter not only from her but her students as well. Coming to know that Ororo also had held similar fears of hurting those she loved with her powers and the need for her stoicism. The silly action seemed to bring Ororo some peace, and while childish, it made them laugh, so she’d sometimes tease her in that manner.

Serena gazed into the woman’s watery eyes. This was her Storm; it was Ororo. While the urge to laugh rose at the silly gesture, tears of relief flowed instead. All but throwing herself into her friend’s arms, they shared a moment of reprieve as they comforted one another. Relishing the fact that she’d made it home.

It took some time, but Ororo hooked her back up to the tubes she needed to remain connected to. She passed all the tests she needed to get the dreaded things off of her face and out of her throat.

They cried and laughed as Ororo caught her up to speed. Helping her clear any of the remaining confusion and memory loss she suffered from the ordeal. Before all else, she let her know Theresa was safe and had only suffered superficial injuries, but she was honest with her in not knowing the extent of her psychological injuries. Yet, she reassured Serena that they were already working with the girl and getting her the help she needed.

As soon as Scott had alerted Storm and The Professor of their kidnapping, they’d dropped everything to return to the mansion. As Ororo recounted the moment she had heard of Serena’s abduction and the emotions that had flowed through her, Serena clasped her hand. She couldn’t imagine how the woman felt hearing the news after all she’d been through with the academy. It was one more thing she hoped Ororo wouldn’t let weigh on her conscience.

It’d taken several days to find them, and Ororo’s explanation of their exhaustive search to find them left Serena with conflicting emotions. The proof of their bond brought her warmth, but it wasn’t without guilt.

She continued recounting the tale of their battle with The Brotherhood once they’d found the location they were being housed. Serena made a mental note to sit in on more of the tactical sessions the teachers held as Storm described formations and techniques they’d used to catch their enemies unawares. She was in her element, and Serena simply enjoyed the tale as if she hadn’t been a part of it.

The near-death experience had her seeking closeness as she asked her friend to lie with her as she went on. Storm complied without breaking her oration, not in the least uncomfortable about lying with her, and Serena appreciated her lack of judgment.

Then there was a turning point in the heat of battle where there’d been a call that had interrupted the skirmish. Ororo’s shift in tone drew her in as she recounted it.

She likened it to the call of the valkyries descending and rallying them to strength in battle. As if the blades of Odin stood at their back while they waged war. The X-Men rallied, while their enemies faltered, injured and in pain, clutching at themselves as the call rang clear. Then the building they had fought to enter suddenly began to crumble and collapse.

Ororo paused and looked at her. Her gaze was intense as they lay next to one another. Serena refused to breathe lest she break the moment.

“You called for us. You gave us strength. Not only did you save us but saved Theresa and yourself.” The look on Ororo’s face was one of pride and gratitude.

She reached up to dab the bridge of Serena’s nose and the corner of her eye, catching a rogue tear. She tried to blink the rest away as Ororo helped her.

After the building had collapsed, the professor had helped lead rescue efforts to dig anyone they could out of the rubble. Ororo clarified that although The Professor had lifted thousands of pounds of rubble to find everyone, it wasn’t his specialty, and exhausted himself to the point of fainting. She was shocked, as she had thought him invincible. Ororo assured her Charles was fine and that he had just overdone it.

“Please try to find it in your heart to forgive him. We are not gods; we are only human, and even he makes mistakes.”

Serena understood the weight of that statement as it came from Storm. She may not have known everything, but she knew some things, and if there was someone who could attest to that statement, it was the woman who lay next to her and wiped at her tears as they fell.

It was a blessing few injuries resulted from the building collapse. Those who emerged from the rubble had heard her song, and rose unscathed. She tried convincing Serena that it’d protected them as well, but Serena couldn’t confirm nor deny it. Her abilities were just as unfamiliar to her as they were to everyone else.

When explaining that she was the worst injured among them, fury raged in Storm’s eyes. The list seemed unending as she named the various injuries she’d sustained. As the list ended, Ororo hesitated to share the most dire of the conditions she’d sustained, but did so as it was her right to know. That her level of blood loss had been so severe she had gone into cardiac arrest.

She’d died on the battlefield.

The same heart now skipped a beat as she processed her mortality. Hyperaware of the pounding inside her chest and the blood that rushed in her ears. Her hand came to rest on her chest as she felt it thrum beneath her fingers.

Between Theresa’s first aid and Logan’s CPR, they’d been able to get her onto the X-Jet to defibrillate her heart. They kept it beating long enough to begin blood transfusions and had to induce a coma for several days afterwards to stabilize her. It’d been a week since they’d stopped the sedatives, but Serena hadn’t awakened. They could monitor her brain activity, but they still worried as she slept longer than expected.

The time that passed while she was unconscious shocked her, and she felt terrible about the anxieties she’d caused them during the time she was comatose. It’d explain why the once excruciating pains had turned into dull aches in her body. Time and painkillers, most likely.

“I regret the mercy I showed them.” Her eyes were sad as they roved over Serena’s face. “And angry at the harm they did to your lovely face.”

Serena could guess what she looked like after everything that had happened. Covered in bandages, she was bound tight, and everything was uncomfortable.

“But never fear, you shall soon have skin that’ll rival even mine. I have an extensive skincare collection that I am more than willing to share.”

She was serious, and her triumphant tone brought mirth to the otherwise dark situation. Serena erupted into laughter that soon turned into a fit of coughs that shook her body. Ororo rubbed her back as she helped her lean forward to soothe her. There was pain in her gut every time she coughed, causing her to grunt. The woman was apologetic but also lighthearted as she warned her.

“I apologize. I hadn’t meant to make you laugh, but you must be careful not to tear the stitches.”

She made a shift to leave, and Serena grabbed her hand without thinking. She released her with an apologetic look, and Ororo laughed.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. I’m only going to grab you some water as I’m sure your thirst is severe. I’ll return soon enough.”

As promised, she didn’t take long to return with a glass. When she drained it, Ororo helped lay her back against the bed.

“You won’t be leaving this bed unassisted anytime soon, but worry not; you have a village here that has been waiting for you to wake.” She turned her gaze to a corner of the room that Serena could not see. She moved a monitor over, revealing a small table that held gifts, stuffed teddies, and get well soon gifts.

Emotion overcame her, and she clutched her chest, looking to Ororo with tears in her eyes. Although Ororo’s tone was admonishing, her laughter softened it.

“You’re going to cause a flood with your tears! No more crying! This is supposed to be a joyous time.” She patted Serena’s cheeks once more with the sleeve of her soft cotton sweater.

While some may consider Storm cold, she was quite the opposite once you took the time to speak with her beyond the day to day. Even though they were similar in age, she was more the nurturing type.

Then, she zapped her, causing several machines to blare as they both erupted into gleeful cackles. That turned into raucous coughs and hurried apologies.

Despite Ororo’s rule, more tears flowed in her recovery room after they alerted everyone to her state of consciousness. Beforehand, Serena had asked Ororo to help her with covering up at least some of the facial bruising. While she had no qualms about facing her fellow teachers, she didn’t want to frighten the children. She had also gotten permission to remove her neck brace, at least during visitation hours. Having already lost a family member, she wanted to shield the children from further stress.

She swore she experienced the room shake as the announcement came, and Ororo told her to brace herself. As is typical of the youngest mutants, they had a hive mind, and she’d heard the echoes of their shouts as they packed into the elevator like sardines, but the first to see her was the slyest kitten of them all.

Serena’s face lit up when her piano protégé ignored Storm’s shouts to be gentle and buried herself in her arms. Kitty couldn’t speak a word to her as she muffled her tears against her chest.

They’d only had a few moments together before she heard cries coming down the corridor and knew who led the charge before she made it into the doorway.

Theresa was just as lively as she had always been; tears already running down the healing scars of her cheeks. Her cries were the loudest among the children, and she was the first to launch herself onto the bed. Storm’s warnings continued to go unheard.

She was incoherent as she climbed onto Serena’s lap, and soon the rest of the children flooded her room. Like a chain reaction, the children set one another off. All she could hear was the wailing of children as they climbed over one another and onto her. They were snotty as they begged her for hugs and kisses; her stitches and cast hit more than once. She was confident that by the next day she would be sick as they shouted their grievances and coughed in her face, but she couldn’t be happier than she was in that moment.

It wasn’t long after that the older teens and X-Men entered the room, wrangling the unruly children who had disobeyed and run off on them. They plucked them each from her like ticks, and the thought made her chuckle. Unfortunately, this set her off into a hoarse fit of coughs that had an instant effect on the energy in the room.

The children witnessed her pain and settled down out of guilt as their handlers took advantage of the moment to steer them out of the room with promises of later visits.

She couldn’t believe how much it’d taken out of her, but she refused to tire when she looked into the concerned and teary eyes of their eldest. With Kitty on one side and Marie on the other, she’d reassured them with smiles. Reunited with her tablet, she shared messages of gratitude, but they wouldn’t accept them.

When The Professor appeared, they considered everyone present, though one obvious member was missing. She brushed the thought from her mind as Charles stationed himself at the foot of her bed, shoulders slumped.

“Serena,” he began, his voice deep with remorse, “I am so incredibly sorry. I gave you my word that you would be safe here, under my protection, and I failed you. While I was gone, horrors that no one should ever face were inflicted upon you, and I bear the full responsibility for that.”

Voices rose in objection, but he silenced them with a raise of his hand. He maintained eye contact with her, his expression serious as he continued.

“There’s no excuse for what happened. You nearly died, and the state you’re in now… is a reminder of my broken promise. All I can do now is dedicate myself without reservation to ensuring your absolute security going forward. You have my unconditional pledge.” He gestured to everyone present. “And this goes for all of you as well.”

She was the only one surprised by the intensity of Xavier's apology, as everyone nodded in agreement. A testament to Charles’ strength of character and leadership.

“You needn’t say anything as you’ve given more than enough over the past several days. Whatever you may need or request, it shall be yours. I hope you can find some semblance of peace within these walls as we work to regain your trust and forgiveness.”

Everyone gave a humming approval, but it was overwhelming, and beyond what Serena had expected. She appreciated the apology more than words could convey, but this level of debasement wasn’t what she wanted.

They had risked their lives to save her. Exhausted their resources to find and then heal her. Given her a home and stability. Saved her from hunger and homelessness. Helped her find joy she hadn’t experienced since she’d lost her mother. They’d given her everything she could have asked for.

With only one working hand to type on her tablet, she hoped to convey her emotions with only a handful of words.

“We’re family, aren’t we?”

It only made sense for her to forgive as freely as they’d given her their love.

A brief, surprised silence overtook the room before it erupted with cries of her name, laughter, and confirmation from multiple members that what she said was true. The sudden burst of energy had startled her, and she figured she must’ve said the right thing as felicity overtook the room.

Kitty and Marie cried on either side of her as they openly shared their favoritism of her. Amid her own laughter, Serena watched the other members of their patchwork family teasing one another. Watched as Scott roughly shook Xavier’s shoulders, giving him a hard time as Charles pinched and rubbed his eyes. Roughhousing had ensued between Piotr and Bobby, egged on by Kurt. While Ororo looked on with an open expression of affection.

Only she had heard the distinct heavy steps that had lingered outside the room.

Excitement she’d never admit built in her chest as she waited for their owner to enter the room. She expected he’d make a snarky comment about what she’d said as he entered and prepared for his usual teasing. Despite it all, she wanted to thank him for helping save her life and explore the chance to start anew. With the thought that maybe what’d happened had changed things, and despite knowing better, she couldn’t help but want to tend to the small blossom that’d begun blooming in the corner of her heart. And whether it was the lingering drugs in her system or the near-death experience, she felt like taking a risk.

But she was right; she should’ve known better.

He never came.

The sounds of beeping and sterilized smells grated on Logan’s nerves. He found the cold, impersonal feel of hospital rooms unsettling and believed there might be a relationship between the nightmares and flashbacks that periodically came from his subconscious. These places rarely yielded positive news, and that held true as he watched the woman before him.

Logan sat by Serena’s bedside, watching her chest rise and fall at a steady rhythm. As he had done for several nights since they’d found her. The sound of her heart stopping was still fresh in his mind, and the fear of it going silent fed his nighttime visits. He’d thought her dead when he’d lifted the inconsolable Theresa out and found Serena staring unblinking into the sky. It was a sickening sensation and a punch to the gut until he’d heard her struggling heart. The only comfort he could give her was warmth as he called out for help while she bled.

Then she’d called his name and asked her to take her home as she died in his arms. He hadn’t expected it, and even with his hearing, struggled to catch it with the amount of noise that had surrounded them. It was faint, but he heard it and would never forget how she whispered his name light enough to be swept away by a soft breeze. He couldn’t discern the emotion that came with knowing his name was one of the last words she’d spoken on this earth. Yet he had told no one, and didn’t plan to. It was a private moment as she lay bleeding, her skin an unnatural pallid color, yet his name sounded colorful as it passed her lips. All he wanted in that moment was to hear his name said to him, asked of him, yelled at him, sung to him again and again.

He leaned over to brush his knuckles under her eyes and over her cheekbones. The awful bruising made it clear someone had struck her in the face.

A familiar rage boiled under the surface of his skin, and he withdrew his hand, looking away. The last thing she or anyone needed was an enraged Wolverine in the medical ward. His only regret was that he’d spent more time tearing apart his enemies, and while he’d lost sight of him, he wished he’d been able to catch Sabretooth. His scent had been the heaviest on the girls.

It took every fiber of Logan’s being not to leave the school and hunt him down to make sure that not being able to use his arms would be the least of Sabretooth’s problems. But he’d calmed himself enough to remember that leaving and being absent was what attributed to an innocent woman being bedridden. Bad things happened when he was gone, especially to the people he cared about. He’d believed that he made things worse by hanging around, but after several tough lessons he was coming around to the idea that he might be wrong.

The rapid change in breathing and scent of fear that came from the patient in front of him alerted him to her distress before the heart monitor did. Serena’s body was shaking as she struggled against invisible restraints. She choked back several whimpers as her face contorted in pain. It was no longer a surprise to Logan as every night he had been here was a night she suffered night terrors.

He slid his hand into hers so that she could grip it as hard as she wanted to. Claw, dig, and scratch at his arm as to avoid having her do it to herself. Like a ritual, he brought himself close to her to whisper reassurances, coaxing her from the terror as he’d done for every one of her nightmares.

“I’ve got you, darling. You’re safe with me… I promise.”

Some nights what he whispered to her seemed like lies as he made her promises he hadn’t been able to keep to anyone. On others, he would just whisper endless apologies and pleas for forgiveness. It didn’t matter if he believed in what he said as he held her night after night; it would calm her enough to return to sleep. This night was no different as she relaxed.

Though he withdrew, he left his hand in hers. Studied her small, bandaged hand as he held it within his own. The stained bandages on her fingertips held his focus. He knew what lay beneath those bandages or what didn’t . It was a small thing, but anytime he’d seen her, her nails were always long, and painted. The image of the crude daisies he’d seen painted on her fingertips just that morning being violently torn from their beds consumed him with rage.

Logan watched every night as she fought an invisible enemy and struggled to scream. He wasn’t a stranger to violence or the nightmares that accompanied it, but she didn’t deserve to experience that.

A humbling feeling grew in Logan’s chest, knowing his presence seemed to calm her. That despite his inability to protect her, at least while she slept, he was a source of safety for her. It brought him a lightness that was unfamiliar but not unwelcome. Maybe something akin to what everyone had experienced the morning she had woken from her extended sleep.

They cried, laughed, and showered her with affection. Yet he saw no place among them as they celebrated, and though she’d forgiven them, he found he couldn’t accept it nor forgive himself. The ease with which she forgave them frustrated him. He wished she had been angry, spiteful, or at least blamed him, as he wanted to be angry with her, call her reckless and project the blame he felt towards himself onto her.

Logan wondered if he’d been a better man, would she have called for him first before taking things on herself. As he learned more about her, he knew she would’ve rushed headfirst into danger the moment she heard any of them call for help. He wanted to call her an idiot, yet he’d be a hypocrite as he had done the same in the past, if not almost immediately after they’d gone missing. They were both fools for the people they cared for. And here he was, hiding night after night under the cover of darkness.

Though he had every opportunity to see her now that she had opened her eyes, he still couldn’t face her. Logan knew that what he would see in her eyes would be something he believed he didn’t deserve. He understood why so many loved her and could understand why Marie had told him to stay away. Not to hurt Serena, and lose himself again. He agreed with her entirely; it was the smart thing to do. But Logan never claimed to be the smartest man.

There was an instinctive part of him that spurred him to just do as he pleased and take what or whom he wanted. Be reckless and use anyone or anything to fill the void that he couldn’t seem to close, but it wouldn’t be fair, especially to Serena. He cared for her, wouldn’t have raged against himself or his teammates if he didn’t, but he wasn’t a simple man. Logan wasn’t Scott, nor Bobby, nor even Kurt; he was who he was. He was… the dangerous guy. A label that still haunted him and one he couldn’t forget.

He’d believed himself when he told Jean he could be better, that he could be the good guy , but with every passing year he continued to prove her right. He wasn’t someone you built a life with, so he worked to separate himself. From everyone, and especially from her.

The blinking time on the monitor signaled to Logan that he’d overstayed his welcome and that it was time to go. Letting her lax hand go, he left her to rest as he left her room. With a deep sigh and a last look, he made his way out and down the empty, dark corridor to the elevators. As he called for it, he stilled.

“Can I help you?” Logan said.

He knew who it was. The scent of fresh rain and lingering ozone was one that he’d never confuse.

“What are you doing, Logan?” Ororo said as she stood behind him.

“Heading to bed.”

“You should know better than to play that game with me.”

“What do you mean?” he said, turning to face her.

Storm stood before him in her sleep attire. She’d stationed herself down here as she watched over their patient. Taking it upon herself to be Serena’s primary caretaker, the women’s closeness was something else that’d surprised him. Storm wasn’t an easy one to get on with, but then again, it was Serena, and now she was deeming his presence unwelcome. Arms crossed, she looked at him with a severe expression.

“Logan.”

“Ro.”

His nickname for her softened her edges, but he knew it wouldn’t be enough to disarm her fully. He knew what she meant, but he didn’t want to talk about it. Not right now, not with her, not with anyone.

“You’ve come every night since she’s arrived, but she still hasn’t seen you.” When he didn’t give her a response, she continued. “She’s asked for you.”

He gave away nothing as he watched her in silence. Her eyes were sharp, but he refused to bend.

She gave in first, sighing heavily into her hand as she rubbed her eyes. She looked at him once more with a pleading expression.

“I won’t press. I know it doesn’t work with you, but please promise me… you’ll be careful.”

They respected each other, and while they may not have been as close as he was with Marie, there was still affection between them. She had a knack for understanding where Scott didn’t, and he appreciated her sense of the unsaid. Never one to pry, she wasn’t shy about sharing her thoughts, but he’d expected her to warn him off like Marie did. He thawed, knowing there was someone who didn’t think of him as just a beast.

The elevator arrived behind him as he gave her a slow nod in response. She said nothing to him as the doors closed between them, but he caught a sighing whisper as they did.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Logan hoped he knew too.

No matter how many times Serena walked through the manor’s garden, it never lost its splendor. The Professor had invited her for a walk to encourage the progression of her recovery, and the weather was perfect as she strolled alongside him. Although her deepest wounds still pained her, the movement was necessary to prevent complications.

The tenants of the manor had thoroughly cared for her, just as they had promised, and after what’d felt like endless days in the medical room, she could finally return to the comfort of her own room after being discharged. She welcomed the morning walk, but the turn their conversation took surprised her.

Confused, she stood rooted between Charles and a wall of fragrant roses. Nothing but the sound of buzzing insects and distant chatter sounded around them. His tone had been indifferent, and when she didn’t respond, he repeated himself.

“Theresa told me you spoke to her.”

There was no deeper meaning to his words, but she was curious as to why it warranted an abrupt change of topic. They had just been discussing her health plan and her upcoming checkups. Yes, she had seen Theresa again after she first woke, but their interactions had been brief. Though she had been more reserved, which disheartened Serena, she attributed it to the recent events they’d gone through.

Silence lingered, so he filled it.

“According to her account, you uttered her name when you were both caught in the rubble.” His statement caught her off guard, and she stumbled over her own feet. He caught her by the elbow, not breaking the cadence of the conversation. “You even told her you loved her… Do you truly not remember?”

Shocked, she shook her head. Her memories of that time were still hazy, and outside of what Ororo had filled her in on, she’d remembered nothing else.

A sadness came over her at the thought of not remembering such a significant moment.

“Hmm… We didn’t want to add additional stress as you were healing, but I’m sure you’ve noticed a change in the girl.” She nodded. “During one of her most recent health assessments, she expressed harboring feelings of blame for what’d happened to you. Believing, since you haven’t said a word to her since, let alone called her name, that you may be upset with her. While we both know that isn’t so, she’s at a tender age where doubts can run wild.”

Her thoughts were loud in response to what he’d shared with her.

“ I would never blame her! I was the one who couldn’t protect anyone. ”

He gave her a pointed look. “Don’t lose yourself in blame, Serena. We’ve already settled this. I didn’t share this information with you to make you feel guilty...”

He trailed off, and her nerves gnawed at the edges of her consciousness as she waited for his next words. Not one to mince words, she prepared herself to defend against him.

“Why do you fear yourself, Serena?”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“Were you a mindless beast before your mutation manifested, or do you consider yourself one now that you’re a mutant?”

“Charles, that’s not—”

“Do you believe we are immoral evils who deserve to be caged and denied humanity?”

“No, I don’t—!”

“Then why do you do it yourself every day?”

“It’s different! I’ve killed people!”

“There are children here who’ve killed their friends and even family. Not because they wanted to. Do you see them as irredeemable monsters? Do you believe you’re the only mutant who manifested their powers at importune times and lost loved ones because of it?” He gave her no time to respond as his voice rose. “There are millions of mutants on this planet, Serena, millions that lived before us and millions that will be born after us. Many were the children who cried for days when you disappeared. Many have done terrible things without meaning to. Should we forsake them?!”

She paled in the face of his righteous anger, feeling like a chastised child. “N-no.”

“Then why do you continue to punish yourself when your self-inflicted pain has done nothing for anyone, not even yourself? Were you not a child who didn’t know what they were doing? Was it not an accident, or did you want to hurt them?”

It was a lance through the heart as he threw it back in her face. His words were a bitter pill to swallow, as her throat tightened and eyes burned with shame. Yet she pressed on.

“The power… it was intoxicating… and I enjoyed it.” Squeezing her eyes shut as the admission sickened her.

“Serena, I do not intend to offend, but have you been heeding the lessons taught at this school?”

She reeled back as she took offense.

“From the moment you walked through these gates, you’ve seen countless students freely use their powers out of enjoyment. We never taught suppression, only the understanding of the responsibility that comes with that power. Our mutations make us who we are; they are part of us. And every time we deny who we are, we give others the power to decide it for us.”

Hiding her face in her hands, she took deep breaths as she worked to calm herself. She couldn’t help but wonder how different things would be if Charles had found her first. If the door he knocked on had been that of her childhood home and the one who’d answered the door had been her mother.

Sympathy now replaced the anger that had laced his tone. “What matters is that you’re with us now and you have the choice to decide where you go from here as well as how you use your gifts. No matter what they are. So what do you want to do?”

He looked at her without judgement or hurry and waited for her to process what he’d asked her. It was a small, yet heavy question. What would she do? What could she do? She didn’t know, but there was only one way to find out.

Her gaze was unwavering as she responded. “ I… I want to try.”

She believed it was the right answer as a kind smile graced his face.

The sound of distant familiar shouts interrupted the intensity of the moment. She hadn’t realized they’d made it to the grounds where the children played. Spotting a familiar red head amongst them, there was a thought that neither the path nor the conversation they’d had was a coincidence.

The sound of a throat clearing brought her attention back to her partner.

“Have courage, Serena. We believe in you. She believes in you,” he said, with a soft smile and a tilt of his head in the children’s direction.

Serena knew it too. Like sunlight, warmth spread through her chest, and she took off running towards the playground. Ignoring The Professor’s lighthearted chastising calls to be careful. Her heart pounded in her chest, but she refused to let fear stop her from doing something so important. When Theresa spotted her, unbridled joy bloomed across her face, and it encouraged Serena to continue forth.

Her mouth worked to form words, but only silence followed. She tried again, but only air passed between her lips. Her heart was in her throat as the little girl ran towards her, calling her name. Serena was aware most people didn’t get a second chance, and she was determined not to waste it.

She slowed, coming to a stop in the middle of the field as she forced herself to speak.

“T-Theresa…” she said, a quiet whisper amongst the noise. The words felt foreign on her tongue, and she’d surprised herself as she heard them reverberate in her head. A blurred memory shimmered in the back of her consciousness. One where an ocean-blue sky watched over the tears of a child and listened to desperate promises.

The girl stopped a few feet away, stunned, and Serena knew she’d heard her. Kneeling down on the grass, she invited the child into her arms before repeating herself. Just enough for her to hear, something just between them. “Theresa.”

The girl cried out and started running again. Her face matched the shade of her hair as she launched herself at Serena, and she could only laugh. In this moment, free of worry and fear, there was nothing that mattered more, and she held the girl tight. The sky, reminiscent of the day they first spoke, their connection was unwavering as it was before her heart had stopped. All she missed were the sad eyes and warm hands of a man who held her tightly and begged her to stay.