Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When 1x1x1x1 was first forsakened, it hated it. It still hated being forsakened, but whether it was because they actually hated it, or because they couldn’t feel anything positive was a mystery still.

The first few days were the best (lie lie lie lie), it would say if you asked it. Because for the first few days after a killer was forsakened, they would be isolated in their room until they ‘calmed down enough’ to meet the other killers. That meant it was quiet. And lonely. 

1x1x1x1 thought that the other killers would be silent, like they were during the rounds it spectated. It couldn’t have been more wrong. 

—

It woke up suddenly in a strange place. This wasn’t the black void of The Banlands, and didn't have the feel of Robloxia. 1x1x1x1 looked around and saw… grass, trees, some white building looking thing and… Telamon Shedletsky. Cold apathy instantly replaced with rage and hatred, it attacked.

It had attacked everything in sight even after he was dead, turning the map into a slaughterhouse. (Later, 1x1x1x1 would find out that the other killers had been watching the round.)

Then when all the survivors had been killed, it was teleported into a room. 1x1x1x1 didn’t care about the room it was in though. Only one thought was burned into its mind. ‘He didn’t recognise me.’ (Was it because it looked different now?) Of course he didn’t! That pathetic excuse of a man never cared about it anyways, why did 1x1x1x1 expect to be remembered? He probably forgot about it 2 seconds after banishing it to The Banlands. 

It laughed self-deprecatingly and looked around. Wait, was this a… bedroom? 

—

It had just killed everyone in the round, and was wondering why it was taking longer than usual to be transported back to its room. Then when 1x1x1x1 was finally teleported away from the map, it was taken to some random living room.

“Hi mr. new person!!” An energetic red kid was talking to it. “I’m C00lkidd!! What’s your name?”

“mm…” 1x1x1x1 hadn’t figured out how to talk yet, since every time they tried, it was like its mouth was sewn shut. (He doesn’t know how zippers work lol) The logistics didn’t make sense. It could open its mouth to eat, but not to talk? It was also way too easy to forget its mouth was… sewn(?), since the tab thing and the ‘stitches’ would go invisible (or maybe they disappeared, not that 1x1x1x1 cared about the difference) if they were left alone for long enough. 

“His name is 1x1x1x1, the introduction at the beginning of the rounds said so.” 1x1x1x1 turned to look at the person who spoke. It was… what was his name? Jim Toes or something. What kind of name was that?

“My name is John Doe, and over there…” John Doe pointed behind 1x1x1x1, who turned around to see a man wearing a hockey mask polishing a machete. “…is Jason.” Jason looked up, presumably because he heard his name being called. 

“Ki ki ki.” Said Jason, which improved the mood of 1x1x1x1 significantly because, well, it wasn’t the only one who couldn’t talk properly!! ‘Yippee’, or whatever it was that people who can feel happiness say when they get a rush of dopamine.

1x1x1x1 remembered there being more than just 3 other killers, but for whatever reason they weren’t… nevermind.

“It looks like you’re doing introductions and didn’t invite me.” It was some sort of Mafia man. 1x1x1x1 had a headache already, and it hadn’t even been 5 minutes yet.

—

Why was 1x1x1x1 stuck on babysitting duty again? They hated kids. Where were the others? Mafioso was training with his goons, John Doe was sleeping, and Jason was… in a round. Ugh. Kids. They were always so annoying and loud. 

“Mr 1x1x1x1!!” C00lkidd whined, “I’m hungeryyyy..” 

Case in point.

“Shut up, I need quiet to focus.” Bluudud snapped, focusing on his game. Pr3typriincess rolled her eyes. They were all sitting in the living room/lobby area. Bluudud was playing some sort of combat game, Pr3typriincess was doodling on a sheet of paper, 1x1x1x1 was reading some sort of romance novel it found in Mafioso’s room, and C00lkidd was on the floor whining about food.

“Can I have a dirt cake pleaseeee… I’m asking veryyyyy nicely this time.” There was no way to make dirt cake since there were no cookies in Hell. C00lkid had been begging for dirt cake for half an hour.

“There’s no way to get dirt cake here, dummy.” C00lkidd started actually bawling at Pr3typriincess’ words. Kicking his feet and screaming and crying and all. 1x1x1x1 stared at the kid for a good few seconds before sighing. It grabbed C00lkidd by his armpits and walked to the kitchen to look for food. It was only doing this to get the crying to stop, it told itself. It hated kids. 

…Lo and behold, there was food in the fridge. An entire loaf of bread and some eggs. 1x1x1x1 set C00lkidd down and prepared to fry some eggs. A few moments later Bluudud and Pr3typriincess walked in and asked for food as well. 

“Did you lose your game?” C00lkidd asked, already having calmed down at the silent promise of food. 

“Nope. I won.” 

“He lost by a lot and ragequit.” Pr3typriincess supplied helpfully. “Thank you miss 1x1x1x1,” she said as 1x1x1x1 set down the plates of food it prepared.

“1x1x1x1 is so long… and a mouthful.” And speaking of mouthfuls, Bluudud shoved a mouthful of egg sandwich into his mouth. “I’ll just call you 1x for short instead.” The newly nicknamed 1x did not say anything in response. Which was of its own choice and not because of the zipper. (Lie again)

“Hey this actually tastes really good.” Of course it tasted good, 1x took pride in being good at cooking. Not that it ever told anyone, or that it could for that matter. Stupid mouth thing. Ugh.

Chapter Text

It has been almost 2 weeks since 1x1x1x1 was first forsaken, and a little more than 2 weeks since it met the other killers. After the introduction everyone gave each other the silent treatment, well except for the kids.

What it was trying to say was that the killers had started warming up to each other. Even John Doe, who was completely silent at first, was starting to talk. Granted, they were 1 word sentences, but still.

1x1x1x1 didn’t ask the other killers for help with their mouth situation for a few reasons. One, asking for help was a survivor trait. Two, if its mouth contraption and how it worked was something akin to common knowledge…it would be mortifyingly embarrassing. Three, 1x wasn’t sure how to ask for help… was it supposed to use words? That it didn’t have? Because it’s mouth was out of commission?

So 1x had to make so with grunts, growls (like it was some sort of wild animal…eugh), mhms and other various sounds. The other killers hadn’t caught into it not being able to talk yet, but 1x1x1x1 had to figure out something soon.

C00lkidd interrupted its train of thought. “Mr 1x!! Can you help me with my jacket? Usually my dad does it for me, but he’s not here right now, and the others are ignoring me.”

1x sighed, did the kid not know how to button buttons? … it was… it looked like the thing in its mouth, which immediately caught the beings eye. It could… mess around and figure the jacket out, without risking breaking or injuring its own mouth. 1x nodded and moved to help.

—

“I haven’t seen C00lkidd for an hour, which I don’t mind, but it’s also way too quiet for him to be up to any good.”

“Ki ki ma” Jason stood up from where he was sitting and went to look for the kid.

—

1x1x1x1 still couldn’t figure out how to do it. It was about to give up and dump the kid with the other killers when Jason walked in. He stared at what was happening for a few seconds before lining the edges up and… sliding the tab. 1x felt stupid. It was so simple.

Jason patted C00lkidd on the head and walked away. 1x left to sulk in its room.

When it got there, it locked the door and stared at the mirror before simply sliding the tab. “stupid…” it muttered, before realizing it was talking! C00lkidd was good for something, it supposed. Maybe it would let the kid play with its minions, as a thanks. 1x knew its minions would enjoy it, and C00lkidd would probably like someone to play with.

—

Even after figuring out how to talk, 1x was still silent. Only after being able to talk did it realize, there was nothing it wanted to say to the others. Greetings were pointless, and so was small talk. Maybe that was why the other killers didn't talk to each other. Save for the kids. But kids did pointless things a lot.

It had been a pretty uneventful 2 months, but hey, Shedletsky finally recognized it after the first few dozen times it killed him. That counts for something?

1x1x1x1 was reading a book it found in Jason’s room, when a new killer spawned into the center. Which was strange, because new killers usually went through a few rounds before being teleported into the commons area.

The new killer was purple, with a mask in half his(?) face. He was holding a star. “What’s your name?” John Doe asked, he was eyeing the new killer. “I’m John Doe and that’s 1x1x1x1.”

“#’M N0L1!” Noli’s voice was… glitchy, to say the least. Jason came back from wherever he was and saw the new killer.

“That’s Jason, Jason that’s Noli.” John Doe spoke again. Jason nodded and started to leave, but Noli blocked his way.

“Ss0RrY, N07 TR##N9 70 b3 Ru#3. Bu7 1S D0 y0U hA#3 w3#D? 1 c@n SM3#L It.” Noli asked, and wait— Jason had drugs? 1x watched in mild disbelief as Jason nodded and motioned for the killer to follow.

1x quickly unzipped its mouth, “Jason, how did you even get drugs in this Hell!?” John Doe stared, Mafioso, who no one had noticed enter also stared. The kids also paused their game to stare.

“YOU CAN TALK!?” Bluudud asked. Oops. 1x ignored him in favor of not talking. “Wait! You can't just ignore me!” 1x1x1x1 could and would ignore the insolent, disrespectful child.

“I didn’t think you could talk, 1x.”

“I can’t.”

“But you just–”

—

“So why are you here? Normally you don’t get to meet other killers until after your first round.” John Doe must’ve been feeling talkative today.

“1 #a$ sSuPP0$3d t0 h@V3 pAR7@k3n 1n #y f1r$t R0u#D @ w#ile a9o, bBU7 i7 k3p7 d3L@y1ng m# f#rSt r0UNd. ‘O0h y3@h, y0u c@N j01n iN 3 d@ysS, w@1t, aC7u@lly c#n y0U wA1t s0m3 mOR3?’” (“I was supposed to have partaken in my first round a while ago, but it kept delaying my first round. ‘Oh yeah, you can join in 3 days, wait, actually, can you wait some more?’”) Noli complained, “s0 N#w 1’M h3R3 B3c@U$e i7 n0t#C3D I w#s 93t7iNG iiMP@Ti3nT.” (“So now I’m here because it noticed I was getting impatient.”)

John Doe nodded, and went back to reading a really thick book. It had a really small font, and had no title on the cover. It seemed boring, so 1x stalked off to grab some limes from the kitchen. Too bad the food dehydrator was broken… wait! The oven still worked!

—

“I still can’t believe you can–” Mafioso started, but 1x1x1x1 was teleported into a round before he could finish. Mafioso sighed, and moved to see what his goons were doing. They were making a really big card house. Where did they get so many cards anyway?

Chapter Text

“C00lk1d, #0 y0U kN0W yY0uR f@#h3R’S Ph0n3 nNU#B3r?” (“C00lkidd, do you know your father’s phone number?”) 1x1x1x1 heard Noli ask, “I n#3d 7o… @sK h#m s0m37h#n9.” (“I need to… ask him something.”)

“Um, we don’t have phones here. Mr. Noli.” C00lkidd said, “but you can talk to him during tag!” 1x1x1x1 noted that C00lkidd was still under the illusion they were playing hide and seek tag. 

“...” Noli appeared to be deep in thought.

—

“Miss 1x!! You are invited to my tea party!! It's in a few days, and you have to dress well!” Pr3typriincess said, and shoved a small slip of paper into the manifestation’s hands. It was a crudely drawn card, with a picture of a tea party set on it. 1x flipped it over. The back just said ‘com 2 my room when I sai so’ with a smiley face at the end. They wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Where was she planning to get the tea? The Spectre didn’t deliver supplies until next week.

“...Miss 1x?” John Doe asked, he was looking at 1x1x1x1 intently. “I always thought you went by…” he trailed off, then suddenly snapped back and asked, “What are your pronouns anyways?”

“What?” Did he mean proper nouns? “My name is 1x1x1x1.” The man looked confused for a second before seeming to realize something. John Doe shook his head.

“No, I knew that. Do you…” He hesitated, “not know what pronouns are?”

“You mean proper nouns?” 1x1x1x1 could see John’s shoulder shaking. He was laughing at her! She hated being laughed at. Actually, they hated everything about this place. “Stop laughing! It’s not funny! Do you think I was created knowing all the information in the universe?”

“No-” The man wheezed, “I’m not laughing at you…” He broke off into a coughing fit. That sounded suspiciously like laughing. Again 1x1x1x1 hated him. Hated everyone. That’s all they could do, anyways. “Pronouns are like… it's hard to explain, I'll just list examples. I, me, my, he, her, they are all pronouns. Do you understand now?” He asked her again, “So what are your preferred pronouns?”

“Uhh… probably not.” 1x1x1x1 answered intelligently. John Doe looked at him, deadpan. “I mean– I don’t have any? As far as i can tell?” He nodded, and asked 1x, “So… the round’s starting soon. Who do you think will be chosen?”

“Definitely not Noli.” 

“1 h3@rD mY N#m3?” (“I heard my name?”) Holy Telamon Spawn– Did Noli teleport here?

“No you didn't.” John Doe didn’t even look at him. 

“#F y0U s@Y $0…” (“If you say so…”) Noli walked away again. 

—

This round's killer is… Error!!

Special round!!!

This round’s killers are… John Doe and 1x1x1x1

…

“So… a ‘special round', huh?” John Doe said, probably just to say something. 1x1x1x1 looked around, it was the glass house map. They also checked the survivor count and there were more than usual. “I have an idea…” 

—

There were two killers this round, and despite having the entire survivor cast, and less time on the timer, they were being absolutely demolished, destroyed, whatever you called it, they were not doing well. Elliot was hiding on a raised platform, along with the remaining survivors. 

“Can't 1x just use his eye to find us? Why are we hiding like this in a group?” Elliot muttered. Two time was already on their second life, and was currently desperately praying to thor spawn entity for help. Shedletsky was devouring a chicken leg for health, Noob was… just there, and the others had died already. Wait a minute– where was Builderman? 

“Well… they say safety in numbers, and clearly splitting up wasn’t working so…” Elliot frowned at Shedletsky’s words. The former admin went back to his chicken. Elliot watched as the yellow silhouette of Builderman fell to the ground and disappeared from view. 40 seconds were added to the timer.

“Most of us are 1 mass infection away from death.” He said, “I don’t think it’s a good idea to be so close to each other? Maybe we should spread out a bit, at the very least?” Then he gave a pizza to Noob.

Right as they got up to move a mass infection came their way, leaving only 2 survivors remaining. Shedletsky and Noob. (In the lobby, Elliot screams in frustration. Two Time goes back to their room to pray.) 

John Doe immediately traps them in a semi circle of spikes, and 1x sends an entanglement the survivor’s way, killing Noob, who hadn’t dodged in time. The round ended pretty quickly after that.

—

“We work pretty well as a team.” 1x1x1x1 commented when they got back. John Doe nodded, then asked, “What’s up with you and the chicken guy?” 1x scowled at the mention of their creator. “Nothing’s ‘up’”

John Doe raised an eyebrow, “I’m not stupid, and I won’t judge if you don’t want to tell me, you know?” 1x1 didn’t say anything for a while. John thought the topic had been dropped until she suddenly spoke up again. “He was the one who created me… and who ordered for me to be locked up in The Banlands.” John Doe whistled. “Damn, that’s rough. Builderman would never.”

“Thanks, that makes me feel so much better.” 1x watched with a mild interest as John Doe winced at his own wording. 

“I was trying to sound relatable.” Silence. Then, “Because you know how we are both killers with survivor father figures that are immortal…” 

“...” 

“I’m sorry.”

“Good.”

—

“Tag is getting so boring, the dad’s friends get tired so quickly!” C00lkidd complained. Bluudud rolled his eyes. “Maybe they got bored of playing with you so they chose to sleep instead.”

“That can’t be it!! They always play with me every time!!”

“Sure...”

“Hmph!” C00kid crossed his arms like a petulant child and turned away. “I just wish we could play for a longer time! 4 minutes isn't enough time to actually have fun.”

—

“I got you a dried lime!” 1x1x1x1 was sure that if they could feel love, she’d love her minions. But alas, she couldn't, and only felt a sort of warm indifference towards them. “Thank you…” The zombie saluted 1x and disappeared off to… actually, he had no idea. 1x1x1x1 walked away, eating the limes she had been brought. 

Chapter Text

There was a package on the doorstep. It wasn't a delivery day. Bluudud opened the box after carrying it inside. 

—

Everyone Chat:

1x1x1x1: Why is there an ‘everyone’ chat?

Dusekkar: If you don't want to talk to us, use your ‘killer’s only’ chat you puss. 

1x1x1x1: I hate you

Bluudud: Don't you only feel hate?

Bluudud: help he threw his phone at me

Jason: 1x don’t hit kids, even if they deserve it. They don't know better.

Bluudud: thank you Jason

Chance: You know words?

Jason: did you assume I was stupid just because I have a speech impairment?

Taph: 🙁

Dusekkar: Chance…

Chance: wait no im sorry taph i didnt mean to call you stupid

Shedletsky: hio guys

Chance: “hio” 💔

Taph: 💔

Shedletsky: what?

Elliot: Omega behavior…

Taph: 🫵🫄⬇🔑➡️Ω🌎

Dusekkar: Translation, he said you’d “lowkey” get pregnant in the omega verse.

C00lkid: whats the omega verse?

1x1x1x1: kids give me your phones, you cant be reading this

Guest1337: okay but what is the omega verse?

Elliot: search it up in your free time… it'll be uh fun

Shedletsky: I cant even be mad since i technically gave birth lol

Chance: ???

Taph: 😲

Jason: WHAT

Guest1337: explain please

1x1x1x1: i hate you

Elliot: wait come back you cant just drop that and leave

Shedletsky: only technically lol

Shedletsky: you know when you accidentally asexually reproduce

Shadletsky: thats what i was talking about

Builderman: …

JohnDoe: Ah yes, accidentally asexually reproduce, as one does.

Shedletsky: see, he gets it

JohnDoe: No I don't, I was trying to be sarcastic, but you can't do that over text apparently. 

1x1x1x1: yOu cANt bE sArcAStiC oVEr tExT.

JohnDoe: …

Chance: why are you using perfect grammar

Jason: are we just brushing off that chicken guy has a kid? I feel like he would be a terrible father. 

1x1x1x1: he’s the type of father to win rock-paper-scissors and brag about it to the kid, then when the kid cries he calls them a baby

Elliot: yeah i can see him doing that.

Builderman: Guys, the round is starting soon.

TwoTime: I figured out how to turn this thing on. What did I miss?

Jason: Scroll up.

TwoTime: okay. 

TwoTime: oh.

Guest1337: I found out about the omega verse. 

Guest 1337: …and mpreg

Guest1337: how do I unlearn something?

Elliot: you dont 💔

—

This round’s killer is… Error!!

Special round again!!

Have fun!! :)

—

The timer was set to 99 minutes. More than an hour. And it wasn’t ticking down. And there were no generators. They still haven't found out who the killer was. But then…

“Tag, you're it!” Guest 1337 blinked in confusion as C00lkid ran off. After a few moments of Guest doing nothing, C00lkid came back. “You’re supposed to tag someone else, otherwise the game’s not fun!”

Guest moved to tag C00lkid, but the kid was already halfway across the map. Was the special round tag? That explained why the timer was set to an hour. He saw 1x1x1x1 talking to John Doe nearby… wasn’t 1x the slowest killer? maybe…

…

Chance chased Elliot through the halls of Horror Hotel. “You’ll never catch me!!” Elliot giggled like some sort of teenage schoolgirl. Honestly though? This was the most fun any of them had had in ages. “I’ll catch you alright!”

He did not catch Elliot. But! Chance did manage to tag an unsuspecting Pr3typriincess. That counted as a half win, they thought. 

Who knew the killers could be fun when they weren't bloodthirsty and trying to massacre them? While the others were having fun, though, Noli could only spectate from the killer’s quarters. He pulled out his new phone that everyone had forgotten to give him. 

—

Everyone Chat:

Noli: 007n7 i love you so much please go out with me please 

007n7: wait how are you here

Noli: doesn’t matter pls go out with me im sure our situationship didnt die with you

007n7: …

1x1x1x1: crazy bro…

Chance: theyre exes? Wait, who is noli?

Noli: pls pls pls psl pls

Jason: its giving… desperate ex

Noli: shut up

Noli: 007n7?? Please………. 🥺

—

1x1x1x1 laughed at the antics of Noli. They hadn’t thought he’d be the desparte ex type. She heard movement behind her. John Doe left a while ago, so who? …Oh. “Go away, Shedletsky.”

The former admin sighed, “I just want to talk.” 1x1x1x1 brandished their sword and pointed it at him, “yeah right. You haven't even told your teammates about me. I’m sure you care sooo much about me, and came here with such good intentions.” she spat out her words. Shedletsky paused and asked, “did you? Tell them about our… history?” 

“...yeah, John Doe knows.” She averted her eyes. Truth be told, 1x1x1x1 could recall her childhood relatively well, and for most of it they’d been, well… happy. An emotion he couldn't feel anymore. Telamon had been an okay parent, up until the very end, when he had her locked up.

“I’m sorry for abandoning you… “ His dad creator spoke, “I had my reasons, but I could… explain my side in a more private place?” 1x1x1x1 scoffed and rolled their eyes. Yeah right, trust the pathological liar to tell the truth. Funny joke. Ha ha. 

“No.” 1x1x1x1 said, “tell me right now, before you come up with some stupid excuse for why you did it.” Shedletsky sighed. “I figured you wouldn’t want to wait.”

“It was.. For the good of Robloxia.” He started, then winced at his own tone, “You were getting too powerful, and having trouble controlling your emotions, and I didn't want you to do anything rash.” 1x4 was silent at his words. 

“Really?” They demanded, “Really? ‘Oh noooo, the child I raised and trained to be powerful is powerful!!! Who could have possibly seen this coming??” Shedletsky opened his mouth to reply, but 1x interrupted him, “‘and their emotions are getting out of hand, but hmmmmm, helping them learn self control would take too much time, lets just lock them up instead!!’” At this, the man had the decency to look ashamed. 

“Well in hindsight it was pretty stupid.” 1x1x1x1 raised an eyebrow, “But, well, from my–” Shedletsky was interrupted by 1x1x1x1 slapping him. She spat out her next words, “Did you come here just to tell me that I shouldn't be mad at you because you weren't thinking right? If so, get lost.” The audacity of this pathetic excuse of a man really ticked 1x off.

“No, that wasn’t my intention. I’m– sorry.” He said it like apologising to them physically hurt him. “I came here to apologize for punishing you because you were going through teenage angst and I overreacted.” Teenage angst? Really? “Can you think about it? Forgiving me?”

“You know I literally can’t feel positive emotion right?” Shedletsky nodded, “Ok, good. That means you also know the chances of that happening are next to impossible.” He nodded again, more hesitant this time. “Well, this was a waste of time.” 1x1x1x1 sat up, brushed the dirt off their clothes and walked away to join the other killers. Did he really think a few words would fix everything? If so, he was stupid.

—

Everyone Chat:

Noli: 007n7 wanna see what you do to me 😜

007n7: yes pls

Noli: WAIT WRIONG CHAT WOOPS

007n7: wiat this isnt priv

Jason: do we unpack that or ignore it

1x1x1x1: we ignore it i dont wanna know…

Jason: good idea

Jason: anyone want weed?

C00lkid: whats weed?

Guest1337: nothing important coolkid

C00lkid: okay!

Chapter Text

“You were pretty upset at the end of that tag round.” John Doe said. 1x motioned for him to continue. “Did something happen? Want to talk about it?”

“Shedletsky tried to apologise to me for banning me.” They started, “That doesn't sound terrible?” 1x glared at John Doe. “I wasn’t done talking.”

“Anyways, he tried to, like a really big emphasis on ‘tried’, because that was not an apology, apologise.” 1x1x1x1 continued, “But all he really did was try to justify locking me up.”

“Well, what’d he say in exact words? Or as well as you can remember?” John Doe pressed on. Pr3typriincess chose that exact moment to barge into the room and attempt to drag 1x1x1x1 to who knows where.

“It’s tea party time!” She said, “Mr. Doe can come if he wants to. But he has to dress up as well.” John shrugged and followed the two into Pr3typriincess’s room, where she had 1x1 wear something obnoxiously frilly. “What is this, and why does it have so many ribbons and bows?” 1x demanded.

“It’s a dress!! And ribbons make everything better, so I chose one with a lot of them. Here Mr. Doe, wear this.” She gave John Doe a less decorated, but incredibly sparkly pink dress. “I don’t have shoes for you, so you can just wear the ones you normally wear.” She handed 1x1x1x1 a pink shoe box. Inside were…

“Are you kidding me?” 12 inch heels. 12 inches. How the hell was she supposed to walk in those? “Well…” Pr3typriincess was smirking, the little– “I figured since you were the shortest adult here… you’d want to be taller? You have to wear them. It’s not a choice.”

1x1x1x1 said nothing and walked into the closet to change. She also tied up her white hair into a ponytail with the pink ribbon provided. She tested out the heels. They were… hard to walk in. But they refused to be defeated by a pair of shoes, though. They walked out of the closet slowly. “You look great!! Let’s go!” John Doe has already changed into his dress, and they both followed the little girl out into the backyard. There was an actual tea party set there. With scones and macarons and everything. Where did she get them?

C00lkid and Bluudud could be seen, also wearing pink fluffy dresses, sitting at the table. Bluudud was tied to the chair and Coolkid was eating a jam-filled cookie. 1x1x1x1 who was getting the hang of high heels, sat down in a chair. John Doe sat next to him, and immediately poured himself a cup of tea.

“What were you talking about before I interrupted? I wanna hear about it!” 1x1 rolled her eyes, and grabbed a lime flavored macaron. “So, for context, Shedletsky,the guy with the chicken and the sword, he’s my dad.” Pr3typriincess nodded, “And a while ago, he banned me because I was feeling upset.”

Pretypriincess tilted her head, “banned?” 1x1x1x1 sighed, “Let’s use ‘grounded’, except instead of staying in your room, you get locked in a basement.”

“That wasn’t very nice of your dad.” C00lkid said, “My dad never grounds me.” Pr3typriincess nodded, “Yeah! He sounds like a huge jerk! I’ll be extra harsh on him during tag for you miss 1x!” Bluudud tried to talk, but his mouth was taped up, so all that came out were muffled sounds.

“Thank you.” 1x1x1x1 smiled, Shedletsky was in for a lot of trouble… well, if they ever had a normal round again, that is. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“Yeah! I heard Two Time telling the other survivors about their weird spawn cult thingie!” Two Time was a bit, well a lot crazy. Pr3typriincess continued, “And they have an ex who really liked nightshade!” 1x wondered where she heard that from. “Who did you hear that from?” The survivors didn’t just… talk about their families while being hunted down.

“When Mr. 007n7 was talking about being banned from the Pizza place!” Pr3typriincess said, clearly happy to be the one talking, “Two Time said that they had to get their boyfriend Mozzarella fries from Burger King every time he wanted some because he got banned!” Oh? 1x1x1x1 motioned for her to continue. “Apparently, He attacked a worker once because they ran out of mozzarella fries!!”

“Those fries must've been really good if he got so mad.” C00lkid commented, “Do you think they got as mad as Mr. 1x1 when Mafioso took the last lime in the cupboard?” 1x frowned at the reminder of that day. Mafioso knew better than to take their limes.

“Probably! He attacked the worker, remember?” Pr3typriincess sipped on her tea. John Doe then said, “C00lkid how do you feel about Noli?”

“Oh! Mr. Noli and dad were friends for a long time! Even before we started playing forever tag!” John Doe nodded, then asked, “And how do you feel about Noli covering all his walls with pictures of your dad?” C00lkid paused at that. “What?”

John Doe pulled out his phone and showed C00lkid a picture.

(In the picture, Noli’s room is shown, with Noli nowhere to be seen. All over the walls and even on the ceiling are pictures of 007n7. There's a few more photos sticking out from under the bed, and there’s a pillow with 007n7’s face taped onto it. On the desk are a bunch of messily written letters, with hearts drawn all over it. There's photographs of 007n7 on the closet doors as well.)

C00lkid was silent, then asked, “Does this mean Mr. Noli likes dad very much?” Everyone was silent. Bluudud nodded, but no one noticed. “I heard about it once!! My teacher said if two people like eachother very much they get married! And if they get married Noli will also be my dad!” Bluudud burst out laughing, the tapes having somehow fallen off when no one was looking. Pr3typriincess kicked him under the table. An ‘ow!’ could be heard.

“I think we’re done with the tea party.” Pr3typriincess clapped her hands together. “Let's go back in and have a dance party!” She dragged the chair containing Bluudud inside. Everyone followed, though 1x complained about having to dance in 12 inch heels. “There will also be singing at the dance party!!”

By the end of the day, 1x thought, she’d be a pro at moving around in ridiculously tall heels. Why did she decide to follow along with the whims of an 11-year-old again? At least there were limes.

Chapter Text

Ugh, Stupid Mafioso. This wouldn't have happened if he hadn’t been in 1x1’s room. Now her stuff had to be washed! Why did he smoke anyways, it doesn't even taste good. Or do anything. 1x1x1x1 walked out of her room, rubbing her eyes. They were so tired, just a few limes from the kitchen and she could rot in the comfort and safety of her bed, which no longer smelled of tobacco. Screw–

1x1x1x1 fell down the stairs. ‘Ow.’

“Hey.” John Doe approached 1x, “Are you okay? You took a pretty hard fall there. Anything hurt?”

“I feel fine.” 1x1x1x1 said, technically, they felt fine. Minus the blurry vision. But that was probably normal for a concussion. “I'm feeling the normal amount of pain.”

“… The ‘normal’ amount of pain is none, 1x1.” Well, she knew that. “Yeah, I know. Unfortunately, it’s not for me. Why did you think I was slower than the others?”

“…Shorter.” 1x did not reply. Instead, she said, “You know how when you get really upset, sometimes you can physically feel it?” John Doe nodded. Well, probably. He was still blurry. “Well, my ‘neutral’ is your ‘miserable’. So when I say I’m ‘happy’, I’m actually less sad than usual.”

“You’ve literally never said you were happy before, but yeah I think I get it.” John Doe then asked to confirm, “So you’re slow because pain, and you have pain because you're always upset. And you’re always upset because your resting mood is all of the negative emotions at once, at an amount that can both improve and get worse.” 1x1x1x1 nodded, she knew John was smart! “Damn that’s rough.” 1x glared.

“Okay,” John Doe went on, “how many fingers am I holding up?” He was holding up 4 fingers. Was he stupid? Her vision was blurry, not… whatever it was called when you see double. “Four.” John Doe shook his head.

“Actually, I was holding up 6.” John Doe showed his other hand which was hidden behind his back. 1x said nothing for a long time, then she said “I’m going to kill you. Don’t resist it.”

“No you’re not. Your vision is too blurry to aim at me right now.” John Doe said confidently. How did he..? Their face must’ve shown how they felt, because he told her. “You squinted even though my hands were right in front of your face.”

“Anyways, I’m fine. It’ll pass.” John raised an eyebrow. “It literally shows as a status effect. I’ll be fine in uhh..” she squinted “… half an hour.”

“If you say so.” He sighed. “About the chronic pain-“

“Ew, don’t call it chronic, it sounds like a disease if you do. And it makes it sound like an old people thing. Let’s call it… ‘always owies’ instead! Sounds more fun.”

“…As I was saying, how much does it usually hurt? On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least painful thing you’ve experienced, and 10 being the worst.” 1x1x1x1 thought for a bit. Well the least painful thing was the poison status effect, and the most painful…

“But my most painful is really painful, it might… skew the stats?” 1x asked. Wait, she shouldn’t have said anything, ugh. Should have just gone with 2nd most painful experience.

“Well, how about you tell me and I’ll see if it ‘skews the stats’?” 1x1 nodded, that seemed reasonable enough, and John Doe was relatively well put together. He wouldn’t overreact.

“It was when I was like 7 and I got to go out for the first time. Me and Telamon were at some sort of festival, and someone said I looked like him with my wings and all.”

“Is that why you hide your w—” 1x glared at him with the force of a thousand suns. He stopped talking.

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” John rolled his eyes. “Someone said we looked alike because of the wings, so when we got home he ripped them off. Which hurt a lot.” John Doe didn’t say anything. Ugh, screw the blurry vision. 1x couldn’t read John Doe's expression because of it. He was probably giving her The Look™.“Don’t give me that look. They grew back, and eventually he gave up on getting rid of them.”

“…” John Doe’s blurry form was still. What felt like minutes passed.

Ugh, now 1x had to carry the conversation? Where was the talkative John from earlier? “I keep them hidden because they get in the way, and so no one asks about them, and I don’t get them removed because they come back and also out of spite, because screw Shedletsky.” 1x1x1x1 continued, “So anyways, I think that we shouldn’t use that as my 10, because normally people don’t get their limbs ripped off. Instead we should use my second most painful experience of being banned. And going off of that my usual amount of ‘ow’ is at a tame level 3.”

“So um, we'll unpack that… in a moment. Being banned isn’t supposed to hurt a lot?”

“Oh yeah, that’s ‘cause I resisted, so we had this epic battle and everything.” John Doe sputtered at the words ‘epic battle’. “Epic battle?” He asked. 1x shrugged, “well, what else do I do with my trauma? Process it? Pfft-” John Doe coughed loudly. “Yes.”

“…Anyways, back on the wings topic,” 1x made a sound of disgust, but John Doe ignored him, “Shedletsky doesn’t have wings? And he doesn’t seem like the type of man to hide them if he has wings?”

“Oh yeah his current form only has head wings.” Even though 1x acted like she didn’t care about the wings thing, having them ripped off did hurt a lot. Especially since pain meds weren’t something she ever got. Or medicine. Why? Because ‘back then, we didn’t have medicine and we were perfectly fine.’ They suspected the real reason was that Telamon simply didn’t want to spend more resources than the bare minimum on her. Ugh, screw everything actually. How dare Shedletsky ask for forgiveness? After what he did? 1x frowned, she’d have to make his next death extra painful then. Yeah, that would be therapeutic.

“Hey since we have phones now can you record the next time you kill him? Extra points for making it painful. I want to listen to the sounds of his misery and pain.” John Doe nodded and said, “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 tried to walk away dramatically, swishing her cape–

Her cape. Which was still in the wash. Because of Mafioso. Ugh. Maybe she’d steal all his cigarettes and throw them out. 1x went to check on her cape. 1 more hour until it was finished being washed. Might as well get started on dinner, he supposed.

…

1x1x1x1 hummed as they prepared dinner. They separated a designated portion for Mafioso, then added the seasonings and spices. Mafioso would have to earn his right to good food. He knew better than to smoke inside or near 1x. The smell of tobacco had been extremely hard to wash out of his cape, and Mafioso would pay for the trouble with his taste buds. 1x prepared the food to be served, thought for a bit and went back to the Mafia boss’s food.

She separated the dish into 2 equal portions, over-salted one enough to kill a man, mixed the halves together a little, and placed the food on the plate. Time to serve.

Placing down all the dishes gently, except for Mafioso’s which she placed down a bit more aggressively (Mafioso will be dramatic and say they practically slammed it down), 1x sat down and watched as the others ate.

“This tastes really good, Miss 1x! You should cook more often!!”

“Thank you Pr3typriincess.” 1x couldn’t feel satisfaction from the look on Mafioso’s face, but it sure didn’t make him feel worse. Besides, just because they felt no satisfaction, didn’t mean they wouldn’t also still do things out of pure spite.

Bluudud and C00lkidd didn't say anything, but John Doe gave 1x a knowing look. Mafioso frowned at his food, before taking another bite and spitting it out immediately. “Did you forget to mix it? It’s unevenly seasoned.”

1x1x1x1 ignored him.

“N0 i7’$ n07.” (“No it’s not.”) Noli said,“M1ne t@s73s p3Rf3c7ly f1n3. M#yb3 y0u $h0uLD s70p sM0k1n9 $0 m#cH. 1 h3@rD 1t’$ b@d f0r y0uR t@s73bUd$.” (“Mine tastes perfectly fine. Maybe you should stop smoking so much. I heard it’s bad for your tastebuds.”) At that Mafioso scowled. “1x1.” He started, “1x did you do something to my food?”

“No.” 1x1x1x1 lied straight through her teeth with a straight face. “Maybe you should stop smoking so much. It’s clearly affecting how your food tastes.” It was affecting how his food tastes. Just not the way Noli was suggesting. They got up and placed their plate into the dishwasher.

—

“Oi oi oi!”

“Thank you!!”

1x1x1x1 was feeding her minions. Whoever said that the dead don’t eat was wrong. The dead did eat, and were given only good food. She patted one on the head gently and it made a sound of happiness. “We made something special for you!” one of them said, and handed her a box filled with crochet plushies. On closer inspection, one of the crochet figures was 1x1x1x1, with her bandana and cape on (goddamnitMafioso). There was one for every killer, and some more of the minions themselves.

“Thank you…” 1x1x1x1 felt really, really… Well, nothing about the gift. (what they felt was a hollow bottomless void in their chest where happiness and love would have rested.) (little does 1x know that’s the Spectre’s doing. Blah blah blah, just because you’re made from hate doesn’t mean it’s all you’ll ever be and all that.) Which was good, because that meant she didn't hate it, at least. “I… appreciate it.”

Her minions cheered.

—

1x1x1x1 opened the door to her room, and a bucket of soapy water poured down onto her. On the bucket she read, ‘I know you did something to my food. I already apologised for the ‘smell’ as you put it. Since you spent so long near me, I figured you’d want a bat.’ They tore the note off.

After cleaning up the mess (again.), 1x1x1x1 visited Pr3typriincess. “Do you have pink glitter?” The girl nodded and handed them some. “What do you need it for?” 1x1x1x1 smirked, “You’ll find out later.”

1x1x1x1 really hoped they were the next killer.They had a lot of anger to let out.

—

This round’s killer is… 1x1x1x1

‘Hahaha yes!’

Very special round.

—

When 1x spawned into the map, they weren’t expecting to be wearing another pink frilly dress. This one looked like what a magical girl in one of those anime shows would wear. She checked her feet. 6 inch heels. Not as bad as 12 inches, though, so she could make do. Her hair was done in a super high ponytail with a big pink bow, and she was wearing pink jewelry. 1x1x1x1 looked around. The survivors were all dressed similarly, in pink dresses, with 6 inch heels.

It was pretty easy to kill everyone, given that only the killer had experience running in unreasonably high heels.

Chance’s gun blew up on him, Guest couldn’t even stand properly, Two Time made do with… crawling around, and Dusekkar got around by rolling. Elliot clung to the walls for balance, and Taph walked on his knees. Noob walked on their hands.

“How are you even running in these?” Elliot screamed as he attempted to get away. The survivors had found out that they couldn't change any part of their attire, not even take off their shoes. Pr3typriincess would be disappointed she wasn't the killer this round.

“Practice.” 1x1x1x1 replied as he killed the healer. Then, 1x went to find Taph.

“⛔🔪🙏!!” Taph begged for mercy. It was only Taph and Noob now. Noob was on 10% health, and there were no medkits in sight.

“I’m not going to kill you if you help me with something.” Taph seemed to perk up at that. Then motioned for 1x to elaborate. “Do you know how to make glitter bombs? I need to make a few.” Taph nodded again.

In the end, the survivors won, well, really only Taph won, since 1x killed noob for extra time. After making a few glitter bombs, they made friendship bracelets. Because Taph wanted to, and they had the supplies for it. 1x1x1x1 spared Taph as a ‘thank you’ for teaching him how to make various bombs.

Mafioso will never see this coming.

—

1x grabbed some string and hung Mafioso’s crochet form from the ceiling of her room, and they put the rest on their bed. The crochet minions safely resting away from the edge. Call 1x petty, but that wouldn't stop him from taking matters into her own hands.

Chapter Text

“Wh@7 #r3 y0u l1s73n#n9 t0? Y#u’R3 n07 b31n9 @s gR#mPy a$ u$u@L.” (“What are you listening to? You’re not being as grumpy as usual.”)

“The sounds of Shedletsky’s misery.” 1x1x1x1 answered, and offered Noli her headphones. Noli put them on for a good few seconds before taking them off and giving them back. “W0w, th@7’$ # l0t 0f $cr3@m1n9. Mu$7’v3 t@k3n @ wH1l3 70 r3c0Rd, h#h?” (“Wow, that’s a lot of screaming. Must’ve taken a while to record, huh?”) 1x nodded absentmindedly. It was really therapeutic. Maybe she really was a sadist after all. 

But did it really count if it was only Shedletsky’s pain she enjoyed? Wouldn’t anyone like to get revenge? Well maybe not those perfect female protagonists in those Romance books Mafioso read. But they were fictional characters. 

See– the thing about Shedletsky’s apology that made her mad, wasn't the fact it wasn’t even a proper apology. It was the fact he had waited until she’d moved on to apologise. He’d waited months, and even then it hadn’t even seemed genuine. He had months to plan it. Maybe she didn't matter to him. Actually did he even ever care about 1x? 

Maybe the way she acted as though she still cared about the past was purely to torment him. Maybe it was because she still did want closure. Maybe it was both, and maybe it was neither. 

—

“1x1x1x1!” Mafioso shouted. It was 2 in the morning. What could he possibly want? 1x stepped outside her room to look at him. He was wearing his limited edition vampire princess pajamas. “How many glitter bombs did you put in my room? I’ve had to change 3 times now!”

They put on their best ‘what are you talking about?’ face, smiled and asked, “What glitter bombs?” Mafioso was covered head to toe in pink glitter. He was very sparkly, and even more angry. 1x could see it in the way his face was tomato red. 

“I know you put them there. I haven't even gotten rid of all the glitter from the last bomb yet!!” 1x snickered, he’d be finding excess pink glitter for the next few years. The stuff got everywhere and never left. 

“If it was me who did it, I’d use green glitter.” 1x denied. Both of them knew she was lying. Mafioso just glared at the embodiment of hatred. He was probably planning retaliation. There wasn't much he could do to 1x1 though. Why? Well because she was smart and installed locks on all of her things. 

“Game on.” 

—

1x1x1x1 stopped dead in their tracks. There were bear traps covering the floor in her part of the hallway. “…” Whatever. 1x took a deep breath and ran across the bear traps. Well that’s what she was planning, anyways. But then John Doe exited his room and stared. And got her a bucket of bricks (where..?) to throw at the bear traps to activate them. 

1x kept the bricks and the bear traps for later. If Mafioso wanted to play dangerous, he would get dangerous alright. 

—

Mafioso sighed, and reached for his cigarettes. He eyed them suspiciously. 1x had gone into his room earlier, probably to add more of those stupid glitter bombs. He didn’t doubt their ability to resort to actual violence, especially since he’d used bear traps for his …’harmless pranks’. Whatever, it wasn't like they could die here. He lit his cigarette. 

…

The cigarette burst into flames, burning his hand and the part of his mouth where he’d lifted it towards, just before it blew up. “…” He wiped the blood away and went to inspect all of his packs. If 1x1x1x1 wanted explosions, they’d get explosions alright. 

Earlier…

1x grabbed all of Mafioso’s cigarette packs, and took out each cigarette individually. They were dumped into a bowl filled with a gunpowder-Propylene Carbonate concoction. Then, she carefully laid them out to dry and put them back into the packs just a few minutes before he was back from his round. He’d never see this coming.

—

1x1x1x1 changed into their sleepwear. It’s been a while since she actually slept. About 3 days maybe. They walked into the bathroom to brush their teeth. Grabbing their toothbrush in one hand and the toothpaste in the other, she squeezed thrice the recommended amount onto it. No one could tell him what to do! Not even toothpaste companies. They ran the toothbrush under water for a bit, so the bristles would be wet. She hated brushing her teeth with a dry toothbrush. 

…

The toothpaste fucking exploded. Good thing she didn’t put it in her mouth. 

1x1 borrowed some toothpaste from John Doe that night, because she wasn't a savage animal who’d go to bed without brushing first. They’d think up some revenge later, but for now, it was bedtime. Before going to bed, though, he made sure the string around his Mafioso doll was extra tight. To make sure it didn’t fall from where it was hanging from the ceiling, of course!

—

“Dusekkar. I have a favor to ask. I’ll give you this… exploding toothpaste in return?”

“Where did you get– Actually nevermind. Is this about the prank wars you and Mafioso have going on?”

“Yes.” 

Mafioso pulled out his sword, he’d set this stupid survivor on fire and let his goons do the rest. There was no fire damage. Actually it didn't do anything at all. It just… started glowing like a disco ball, and playing caramelldansen while emitting sparkles. The survivors seemed to notice this because they all started doing the stupid dance that went with the song. 

Mafioso lost that round, and the next round his sword was back to normal. His ego, however, did not make such a comeback.

—

1x1x1x1 was losing his mind. There was silly string everywhere. Under every liftable surface, hanging from the chandelier, on the walls. Everywhere. Whatever. They’d just… add more glitter bombs to Mafioso’s room. In really obscure places. Maybe dump glitter into his shampoo. Or maybe, she’d poison him with something. 

Later, Mafioso entered his room immediately suspicious. Something was wrong. But try as he might, he couldn't find anything wrong. Even the candles looked normal. 

…Well, he was feeling a bit tired, so he’d take a short nap and worry about it later. 

…

“What did you do 1x?” John Doe sighed. Mafioso had been revived shortly after going into his room. The man was still asleep on the kitchen floor, even after having been brought back.

1x1x1x1 smiled and replied, “Carbon Monoxide is a silent killer, since it’s colorless, odorless, and tasteless.” She thought for a bit. “Just open the windows in his room, and everything will be back to normal.”

“Where did you even get that much Carbon Monoxide from?” They didn’t reply. Online, you really could find anything. That’s all she’ll say. None of this would've happened if Mafioso didn’t smoke in her room. Or if he just took the food in good grace. He did this to himself, really. And 1x1 was having too much fun to want to stop. 

Mafioso was also having fun, not that he’d ever say it out loud though.

Chapter Text

“Why is my food saltier than literal seawater?” Mafioso complained. He still had bits of tar and a few feathers in his hair from earlier.

1x1x1x1 blinked innocently. “I read that people who smoke couldnt taste as well as people who didn't.” She said, “So I added a little bit of extra salt for you.” John Doe sighed, and Noli started recording the interaction. The kids were outside eating sandwiches, and Jason was babysitting them.

“I’ll throw out all your limes. Stop it with the food.” Mafioso scowled, but ate his food anyways.

“I’ll poison your stupid cigarettes.” John Doe shook his head. Noli was eating popcorn. Mafioso said nothing, and kept eating his over-salted food. Beggars couldn’t be choosers.

“What, you don't trust me to make good on that?”

“I don't trust you half as much as I can throw you.” He snapped back.

“Considering the fact that 1x1 is extremely throwable, I wouldn't use that phrase if I were you.” John Doe you traitor!! That was meant to be a secret!

Mafioso got up from his seat, picked her up and promptly threw her out the window.

“I’m going to kill you!!” She shouted right before she made contact with the ocean’s frigid cold water. She was going to actually kill Mafioso. Unfortunately, 1x never learned how to swim.

—

The moment 1x1 reappeared in the living room, she went straight for —you guessed it!!— Mafioso. They would love to say it was a hard and brutal fight, and that they came out victorious. But… that wasn’t what happened.

Instead, The Spectre ‘stepped in’ and teleported everyone to their rooms. No one could leave until the next day. Whatever. 1x would have won anyways.

—

[As a small punishment/treat the killers look different today! (You know who you are and what you did.)]

Well, screw you too Spectre. 1x1x1x1 inspected their new form. Well, their old form really. They didn’t even get to keep the cool cape!! At least they still had their scarf. It wasn’t black anymore, but green. Which was fine since green was a good color.

What was not fine were all the other changes. Her long luscious locks, which she'd been taking really good care of, was reduced to its prior length. 1x felt like falling to the ground and crying. She didn’t even care that her skin was pale again. Her hair. It had been her pride and… well, she couldn’t feel joy.

Another nitpicky thing was that her clothes, besides from the cape and the scarf, had been changed as well. She was wearing an old lime green shirt and a pair of blue jeans. Absolutely unacceptable. She refused to dress like a survivor.

1x tried to open the closet, but it was locked. A note fell out:

[You’re lucky I even gave you clothes/just kidding haha

Just deal with it. Your usual clothes are unavailable right now]

It would be really immature to scream and tear the note to shreds, he told himself. Wait, Mafioso doesn’t even have an ‘old form’ since he always looked like that! Unfair.

…

Never mind. Totally worth the day’s length of uncomfortableness. Mafioso didn't have an ‘old form’ so The Spectre just dressed him up as a little girl. He got twin pigtails and a unicorn shirt with a skirt and everything.

“You look different today.”

“Shut up.” Mafioso was red, whether it was with anger, embarrassment, or a mixture of both was a mystery.

—

“Can we take a break? I'm tired.” John Doe was currently trying to teach 1x1 how to swim, since he’d accidentally let it slip that well… he couldn’t.

“We started literally just a minute ago.” 1x huffed like a petulant child and got back into the water.

However long it takes to learn how to swim later…

“Yay, I know how to swim now… ” 1x said as monotone as he could. Which was very monotone. “Can we get ice cream now? Before the rounds start? I’m in the mood for something beach themed.” Why did she even need to know how to swim? It’s not like drowning would actually kill her. Hmm did she hold bragging rights over Jason now? Actually, she shouldn’t. That would be rude.

They went back inside and changed back into their… assigned clothes. (Curse The Spectre.)

“Here.” John Doe said, holding out a popsicle, but apparently 1x1 was not Mary Sue because a round started right then and there.

—

This round's killer is… no one!!!

Im in the mood for a beach episode!!!

—

When Shedletsky saw 1x1 he looked away again. Good. No one else asked questions. Maybe it was Mafioso’s glaring that deterred questions. Whatever it was 1x was… grateful…

Elliot was teaching people how to play volleyball. The kids were building sand castles, and Chance… was that a slot machine? Mafioso was sending glares to anyone who got close to him,

Jason and Taph were watching crabs scuttle across the sand, with Dusekkar supervising them. Two Time was drawing Spawn symbols into the sand. Shedletsky was eating fried chicken at a picnic table while talking to builderman, and Noli and 007n7 were nowhere to be seen. John Doe was with 1x, playing volleyball. Which she apparently sucked at.

“You only just learned the game 10 minutes ago,” Elliot said, “Of course you’re going to ‘suck ass’ at it.” The minimum wage worker rolled his eyes.

“He just learned as well.” 1x pointed at Guest 1337. “And he’s doing really well.”

“That’s Guest. He’s just that good at everything.”

“True.”

—

“What’s up with your looks today?” Elliot asked, and served the ball. “You look less… menacing without the dark cape, and the red glowing eyes.” Without the…? Oh. The eyes.

“Me and Mafioso tried to kill each other and everyone was punished. Or rewarded, depending on how you see it.” The volleyball hit Noob straight in the face. Whoops.

“Ah! I’m so sorry!” Noob rubbed their cheek where the ball had hit them, then gave a thumbs up.

The volleyball rolled into the ocean. John Doe looked 1x1x1x1 in the eyes and said, “Go and use your new swimming skills.”

“I hate you.” 1x1 said to John Doe, who rolled his eyes and replied, “You hate everyone.”

1x1x1x1 got the stupid volleyball. John Doe looked so proud of himself, it was unbearable. She threw the volleyball at his face full speed, but he caught it. “Thanks,” he said, all smug. She punched him in the stomach.

Chapter Text

“Hey!” Someone was knocking at the door. John Doe got up from where he was reading his magazine He opened the door. It was Elliot, who looked like he’d walked the whole 13 miles to the Killers cabins.

“Hey—!” Elliot panted. “I’m here to pick up— I’m here to— where’s 007n7? It’s been hours.” John Doe pointed upstairs. Elliot’s face fell. “Do you guys have an elevator?” He shook his head.

—

“What is that sound?” Elliot asked no one in particular, because there was no one around to answer him. Or so he thought.

“Daddy and Noli are wrestling!!” Wrestling? Why would he spend so long in the killer's resting place wr— oh.

“Where is your dad wrestling, C00lkidd?” The red kid pointed towards a room labeled ‘Noli’. 1x1 was trying to drag Bluudud away from the door, and Mafioso was recording the entire thing.

“Are you done, uh, ‘wrestling’ yet?” 1x shouted at the door when she saw Elliot.

“Are you winning Dad?” C00lkidd yelled into the keyhole.

“Uhhh we're almost done, dont worry coolkid, I’m winning alright. I’m winning a lot I’m winning all over the place ohhhh I’m winning!! I’m winning ahhhh!!” 1x1 gave Elliot a helpless look and gestured towards Bluudud and C00lkidd. “They’ve been ‘wrestling’ for a pretty long time.” They said, “I’m trying to get the kids away, but Bluudud and C00lkidd like to actually play wrestle sometimes, so it’s been… hard.” Yeah this wasn’t exactly an ideal situation to be in.

“Mr. Noli, is his dad actually winning?” Bluudud asked, “because sometimes I win, but C00lkidd lies and says that he did instead!!” Elliot sighed, resigned to his fate already. “Mafioso, can I have the recording? I’m going to have the other survivors listen to this as payback for having me pick him up.”

“Sure.”

“D0n’7 w0Rr% bLu3 k1d!! H3’$ w1Nn1n9 @lr1gh7! 0hHHh 90d h3’s w1nN1n9 # l0t—!!” (“Don’t worry Blue kid!! He’s winning alright! ohhh god he’s winning a lot—!!”) Noli screamed, C00lkidd stuck out his tongue at Bluudud. 1x banged her head against the wall, “0h 90d 1m w1Nn1n9 7o0 @hHHhh 1’m w1nN1n9 #’m w1Nn1n9!!!” (“Oh god im winning too ahhhh I’m winning I’m winning!!!”) At that point John Doe came back upstairs to check in the commotion. “What is happening up here?” He asked.

“I’m winning!! I’m winning ahhhh!!”

“They’re wrestling and Dads winning!” C00lkidd helpfully supplied. John Doe looked around. “Wrestling..? Well they have to stop before Jason gets back from his weed garden because he hates it when grown ups wrestle.”

“Are you strong pizza person?” C00lkidd asked, “Maybe you can go in and win even more so they can be done sooner!!”

Elliot nodded before the rest of the kids sentence caught up to him. “Yeah I’m really strong, but no I’m not going to go in and wrestle your dad and Noli.”

“Are you lying? You wouldn’t be scared to fight them if you were actually strong!” The pizza person thought for a bit before shrugging and saying, “actually sure I’ll go wrestle them.”

1x1x1x1 and Mafioso gaped at him as he entered the… unlocked door. He closed the door behind him.

—

Preventing two children from watching two men ‘wrestling’ was not in 1x’s bucket list. But watching Elliot go in to wrestle them wasn't there as well.

“Ahhh stop it Elliot!!! Help, he's attacking us!!” 007n7 yelled. At least he seemed to be actually wrestling, and not…

Right after 007n7 and Elliot left, Jason came back from his garden. “Hi Jason.” Jason waved back. “Ki ki ma ki?”

“No, nothing too interesting happened.” 1x1 lied. Never again. Next time, Noli could walk to the survivors cabin to ‘wrestle’ if he wanted to.

Chapter Text

The round was going great. Not one person had died yet. Of course, this meant something absolutely had to go wrong at the worst possible time. Everyone’s jaws dropped as they watched C00lkidd launch Guest 1337 a few hundred meters into the air.

C00lkidd was a ten year old, mind you. Elliot had been ten before, and he had not been that strong. So, with all that established and out of the way, it could be said the pizza delivery man was flabbergasted, bamboozled, discombobulated, or just really really surprised in a sort of half-amazed and half-horrified way.

The words came out before he could process them properly. “What in the everloving–” Chance put their hand over his mouth. “Shhhh– shh shhh, that’s still a kid. Even with the questionable strength. Don’t use bad words.”

Elliot reworded his question. “What in the world do they feed you at the killer’s cabins?” The kid blinked as said, “1x1’s food, and sometimes Jason and Mr. Doe’s cooking!”

C00lkid won that round.

—

“Hey.” 1x1 turned around, scowling. The other’s knew better than to disturb him when he was cooking, especially since last time. It was Elliot. “What are you doing here? 007n7 and Noli aren’t… ‘wrestling’ again, are they? I’ll skin them alive and put their remains in my soup if they are. I already told them that if they wanted to ‘play’ they could do it at your cabins, where there are no kids are around.”

Elliot frowned. “You told them to only do ‘it’ at our place? Nevermind.” He shook his head, “I came to ask…” The survivor took a deep breath, then asked, “What the hell do you feed the kids?” 1x1x1x1 blinked a few times, then said, “I give them actually healthy home cooked meals? Because it’s good for their growth or whatever. I saw it online.”

No one said anything for a while, then 1x1 offered, “Do you and Taph want to come over for dinner later? Maybe you’ll like my food.” That didn’t sound so bad, actually. Wait– Taph? “Are you and Taph buddie now? What even happened during that round?” 1x made a ‘shh’ motion, turned around, and ignored any other attempts at conversion. Elliot left to go get Taph.

—

“I’m going to get something from the ‘adult’s only, Bluudud get out’ closet, is there anything you guys want?” Mafioso asked, in a rare moment of politeness and civility. His workers were still sitting at their separate table eating pizza. 1x1’s minions were wherever they usually ran off to when they weren't with him, eating the sandwiches she made them.

“I’ll have a beer or two.” John Doe said, “Jason wants Vodka, and Elliot just wants ‘whatever you think i’ll like’.” C00lkidd tilted his head and asked, “Why do grown-ups like adult juice so much? 1x gave me some once and—”

Everyone’s head snapped towards 1x1. She paused her chewing to stare back at them. Did they really think she’d give a kid an actual alcoholic beverage? “—It tasted just like boring water.” C00lkidd huffed, disappointed.

1x1x1x1 patted the kid’s head. “That’s why I don't drink it. The other adults only drink it because they’re boring and like to feel interesting by drinking adult-only juice. It makes them feel special drinking something that not everyone can have.” C00lkid nodded, and grabbed his 6th juicebox of the day.

“This actually tastes really good, 1x!” Elliot complemented, pleasantly surprised at the taste. “I didn’t know you were good at cooking! Mafioso is always complaining about it, so I figured…”

The corners of John Doe’s mouth twitched. “That’s because he sometimes over-salts Mafioso’s food a little, because he smokes, and smokers have half dead taste buds.” Mafioso slammed his fork on the table. “A little?!” He screeched. 1x shot him a look.

“Beggars can’t be choosers, and also so far I haven't added any extra salt to your meals at all this week, don’t make me change my mind.”

“🙋!!” Everyone looked at Taph. “😄💭🍜👅👍!!” Taph also liked the food, it seems. Mafioso scowled into his soup. Jason patted him twice on the shoulder, and offered him a small plastic bag. The man shook his head. “I prefer cigarettes, but thank you.”

“Where is Noli?” Elliot asked, “Isn’t he technically a killer too?” John Doe answered the healer, “He’s at your place right now, I think. He said he was going to eat dinner with 007n7.”

—

Later Elliot and Taph left, Elliot with a few new recipes to add to the cookbook, and Taph with an alarming amount of friendship bracelets, some of which matched with the ones 1x1 and the kids had. The duo came across Noli, who had been making his way back. “Oh, hi Noli.” Taph waved at the unreleased killer.

“H1.” Noli waved back. Looking slightly bedraggled. Elliot did not want to know, he decided, and made no further conversation.

—

It was 1 month after Elliot and Taph had dinner with the killers, and 1x1 had visited the survivor’s cabin to pick up Noli, but ended up staying the night in a sort of slumber party. “You played me like a Fiddle!” They were playing some sort of game 1x1x1x1 forgot the name of.

“No, fiddles are hard to play. I played you like the cheap Kazoo you are.” 1x said to Shedletsky. Did he really think she would play fair against him? This was an opportunity to mess with him, and she took it. “Bzzzzzzpf, bzzzzzzpf.” She added, just for the extra effect. Honestly though, how did he not figure out she was cheating earlier?

“I didn’t even know you could cheat at checkers!!” Shedletsky complained. He’d only realized she’d been sabotaging him when 1x1 won and said that she’d done it ‘fair and square’, and everyone burst out laughing.

“To be fair,” Builderman said, “She moved your pieces right in front of your face twice and you didn’t notice.” Chance chided in, “Yeah, how do you even fall for the ‘look over there!’ trick multiple times in a row?” Shedletsky sighed, “I just didn’t notice because it never occurred to me that 1x1x1x1 could and would cheat at a game like checkers.”

Chapter Text

“A fashion show?” 1x1 asked. Pr3typriincess nodded. “We don’t have a runway. If you can find a runway, then maybe I'll think about it.” The 11 year old ran off, presumably to find a runway. 1x1 sipped on her 100% pure lime juice concentrate. John Doe walked in, looked at the cup in her hand, looked at the juice jug still out and frowned. “You’re not supposed to drink that by itself.”

1x1x1x1 rolled her eyes. “I know that.” They said, “I also know I’m not supposed to eat 27 limes in a day and call it a meal, especially not if the limes still have the peel on.” John Doe gaped at her. “You what?!” She grabbed the lime slice that had been sitting at the edge of her cup and ate it, sort of like the way any other person would eat an apple slice. (with the peel and everything)

“There’s no way your hearing is that bad.” 1x1 blinked innocently. “You know, eating is optional for me right? I could've eaten nothing. At least I even ate something.” The man still looked unhappy. “That’s not healthy.”

“I know. But I like limes, so…” John Doe sighed again, and grabbed a few crackers from the pantry. “Just don’t do that too often. And not around the kids, they’ll think it’s normal and okay to do.”

“y0u 7w0 $0uNd l1k3 # m@rR13d c0uPL3 t@Lk1n9 #b0u7 7h31r ch1Ldr3n” (You two sound like a married couple talking about their children.”) Noli commented, coming into the kitchen and grabbing a pack of corn chips.

“He’s already married.” 1x said absentmindedly, pouring herself even more lime juice. She’d already finished 2 cupfuls in the time they’d been talking. John Doe stared at them. “I am?” He asked.

She took a sip of her juice. “Yes?” She answered, “To your wife, Jane.” 1x1x1x1 said, “Don’t you remember? Purple-pink hair? Black hat? Smart?”

“I don’t remember her…” Of course he didn’t. Blame The Spectre or whatever. Noli spoke up, “w3LL, y0u m#y h@v3 4 w1f3, bu7 y0u d0n'7 h4v3 @ hu$b4nD y3t…” (“Well, you may have a wife, but you don't have a husband yet…”) 1x1x1x1 punched him in the face and grabbed the corn chips out of his hands. Noli could earn the right to corn chips by learning when to drop a topic. John Doe was spaced out, probably trying to remember his wife. They snapped their fingers in front of his face. “Don’t think too hard, you’ll hurt yourself.”

“I still don’t remember having a wife.” If it was the Spectre’s doing, then of course he wouldn’t. Or maybe it was the corruption. You never know.

“It’s okay, you’ll probably remember her in the middle of the night or something.”

—

“I figured it out! We can just rearrange the tables to make a catwalk!!” Pr3typriincess seemed excited to finally have her fashion show. 1x shook his head. “No. Tables are for eating at, not for standing on.”

“Awhhh..” the girl seemed disappointed for about 2 seconds before asking, “How about using that one empty halfway as a runway, and everyone is watching from the inside of the rooms?”

They had an empty hallway? “Sure.” As long as it was actually empty and unused it should be fine. “Okay!!” The kid said, “I’ll get started on the dresses then! Can I borrow some of your minions?”

“Ask them yourself.” Pr3typriincess nodded and ran off to find his minions. 1x1 hoped that he wouldn’t have to be one of the models. They could barely walk in a straight line on good days.

—

1x1x1x1 walked along the forest path with Pr3typriincess. The brat had convinced her to bring her to the survivors’ cabins. They chewed on a gummy from one of the packs of lime-flavored gummies they’d been given. It tasted (woah!) like limes, which was a good thing, because well… limes. “We're here. Go ahead and knock.”

Guest 1337 answered the door. He seemed mildly surprised to see them there. “What do you need?” 1x1x1x1 shook their head. “I only came because the kid needed a guide.” Pr3typriincess pushed Guest aside, and walked into the cabin. “Where’s Noob?” She asked.

“Umm, I'm h-here.” They stuttered. “W-what do you need?” Pr3typriincess smiled, grabbed the robloxian’s hands, and started dragging them towards the exit. “We’re having a no boy’s slumber party!! I’m not inviting the cultist because they’re stabby.” 1x1 sighed.

“You didn’t even ask them if they wanted to go.” He said. Noob gave them a small smile. “I’ll g-go, don't worry…” Guest waved them goodbye as they left.

—

“Y-your room is really pink…” Noob commented as they looked around. “Of course it's pink! Pink is the best color!” Pr3typriincess said, and jumped onto her really fluffy pink bed. There were two pink sleeping bags on the floor next to her bed, probably for 1x and Noob. The 11 year old had moved her stuffed animals to a corner of her bedroom, to make space for ‘slumber party activities’.

Currently, the small group (and John Doe, who was wearing the pink dress from the tea party) was sitting in a semicircle. Pr3typriincess at one end and John Doe at the other. They were sharing stories about their teammates (gossiping) and braiding each other's hair. Pr3typriinces was playing with her doll, while Noob was braiding the small girl’s hair, who could feel the way their hands were shaking. Probably because 1x1 told them if they tried any funny business, he’d target them next round.

John Doe, bless his heart or whatever it was people said, was doing 1x1x1x1’s hair while following a youtube tutorial. Pr3typriincess had let him in after he offered her a box of pink macarons. To show that he was allowed in, she’d put a lot of pink hair clips into his hair.

See, the reason he even tried to get in was because 1x1 didn’t want the little girl doing his hair. Not out of distrust— well actually it was sort of because of that. Last time she let her braid her hair, Pr3typriincess ended up tangling it so badly even The Spectre felt pity.

The only things Noob had told them about weren’t even that interesting. Except for the fact that Chance also had an ex. Who looked like Noob. Who he didn’t like very much anymore. Geez, what was it with the survivors and their doomed relationships? First 007n7 and Noli’s situationship thing, then Two Time and their mozzarella fry enthusiast boyfriend, who died apparently, then Noob and their Guest friend who disappeared after an argument or something, and now it was Chance and his friend who looked like Noob.

1x did have fun telling the others about all the ‘perfectly safe practical jokes slash pranks’ she pulled on Mafioso. Though she did emphasise that the prank wars was a one time thing and that Pr3typriincess should not repeat anything they did. John Doe only sighed, while Noob seemed entertained enough by all the stories.

Pr3typriincess wanted to have a pillow fight, but 1x managed to stop her from trying. Though a pillow fight would have been really fun, the girl had a pile of pillows with bricks in them. They ended up watching that one Barbie movie with the mermaids in it instead. Right before turning the lights off 1x did thank John Doe for coming.

Chapter Text

“That doesn’t look terrible, actually.” 1x1x1x1 inspected the dress she would be wearing. It was a pink (of course it was pink) sparkly gown that was fantasy themed, and looked like something the princess would wear. It had multiple ribbons on it and some pearls sewn in. ‘Where did Pr3typriincess get these dresses?’ they wondered.

She looked over at Chance, who was already in his assigned attire. He was currently playing at a slot machine. A portable slot machine he brought to pass the time. “Gambling addict.” she mumbled. Chance didn’t even look up, but replied “It’s not addiction, just dedication.”

1x mentally asked for someone else to stage an intervention because this was getting really concerning. Although maybe that was hypocritical of her to think, since she really liked limes. Possibly even more than Chance liked gambling. Actually, no. She wasn’t obsessed or anything, what was that phrase Chance said? ‘It’s not an addiction, it’s just appreciation’, or something. Yea, she just really appreciated Limes.

They watched as Pr3typriincess’s clones dragged Mafioso into the dressing room. Huh, she didn’t know Mafioso was modeling as well. She knew Noli and 007n7 had matching outfits, and that Noob had volunteered to model, and also that there were a few more unwilling participants.

1x1x1x1 watched from backstage as the hostess of the event walked on stage. “Thanks for coming, everyone!!” Pr3typriincess was probably smiling, she was so happy everyone had showed up. “Me and the others worked very hard on the clothes, so I hope you like them!” Then she motioned for something, and everyone watched as about 13 of 1x1’s minions, and Mafioso’s goons walked up behind her and waved. “They helped make the dresses!!” Everyone clapped.

—

Ugh, that was terrible. Why? Guess who tripped and fell because they couldn’t walk in a straight line? 1x1, That’s who. But whatever, it was fine, because she was baking a lime cake to make herself feel better. Self care is limes, and a nice warm shower before taking a nap. They took out the ingredients and got to work, turning on their headphones to listen to her favorite songs.

They poured the batter into the mould and set a timer, then left to take a bath. Later they walked into the living room to read a book or watch a TV show or something. “What time is it?” 1x1 asked. It had been a while since she put the cake in.

“Time for you to get a watch.” Mafioso smirked. Oh he thought he was so smart, huh? Noli held back a laugh, and John Doe left the room. Jason dragged the kids out of the room.

Now, there’s a few things to be noted before you find out what 1x1 did. Just know that 1x was having a bad day already, and that she didn’t regret it a single bit and would do it again. They punched Mafioso so hard in the face that he died immediately on the spot, then went to check on the cake. 5 more minutes. Might as well stay in the kitchen and prepare the icing.

“Anyone want cake?” 1x1x1x1 asked, stepping out of the kitchen. Mafioso was rubbing his face where 1x had punched him; he was probably experiencing phantom pain. “If you do, come to the kitchen. I have enough for everyone but Mafioso.” Everyone but Mafioso got cake. Too bad his goons shared some with him though.

The cake did improve her mood. Enough that when she was put into a round, she didn’t kill anyone but Shedletsky.

—

“You're not going to kill anyone else right?” Guest 1337 asked suspiciously. 1x1 shook his head. “Nope. Just Shedletsky, to really rub it in.” That’s what he got for laughing at her when she tripped. She threaded on another bead onto the bracelet she was working on. This one was for Pr3typriincess, since the little girl had manners and had offered to help her up. Taph was working on a blue pumpkin themed bracelet, probably for Dusekkar.

Guest sat down, grabbed some string and started making a bracelet too. He was spelling something out with the beads. ‘Daisy’. Huh. 1x1 finished her second bracelet of the day, and started a new one. This one was for Shedletsky’s wife, Brighteyes, who had, upon hearing Shedletky had made her, declared herself 1x’s mother, and actually acted like one. 1x1 hoped she was doing alright.

“Who’s that for? Elliot asked. He was making a bracelet for Chance. 1x1 could tell because of the charms. A four leaf clover, even though Chance wasn’t very lucky since his gun was always exploding on him, a couple of dice charms, some playing card charms, a gun charm, and an explosion charm. Fitting. “Nunya.” 1x1 said, and eyed the thing Chance was making. It was probably for Elliot, given the pizza charms, the amount of red on there, and the star charms. “Are you guys ‘roommates’ or something? You match so often.”

“Nope! Just good friends. Are you and John Doe ‘roommates’?” 1x shook her head. Taph tapped them on the shoulder, and handed her another friendship bracelet. “Thanks.” Taph was so nice, 1x would make sure to kill them as painlessly as possible the next time they had to.

“Do you think the reason why The Spectre hasn’t stepped in and made me kill you yet is because 007n7 and Noli are wrestling?” 1x1 asked absentmindedly. The Spectre seemed like the type to watch that stuff for entertainment. Elliot wheezed. Guest frowned, “Wrestling? Why would they fight outside of the rounds?” Elliot whispered something to Guest. “Oh.”

“Wait, I want to know too!” Chance complained. “Don’t leave me out of whatever drama they have!” 1x1 pulled out their phone. “Watch this recording.” Elliot frowned. “You have them on recording?”

“No, it's only from that time 007n7 was ‘winning’, remember? You were there, and fought them at the end. Mafioso was recording and sent it to me in exchange for a month's worth of actual food and $20.”

“Were they actually wrestling or…?” Chance asked. “I don’t know.” 1x1x1x1 said at the same time Elliot said, “No.”

Chapter Text

“Are you saying that you wouldn't passionately make out with me sloppy style? Wow, I'm hurt.” And to make it extra dramatic, 1x put a hand over their chest, shaking her head dramatically. They had no idea how a conversation about eating actual food devolved into this.

John Doe sighed, which he seemed to be doing a lot recently, and said “No. I’m saying that you have to consume less lime, not that I hate you.” He smirked, “But, for the record, I would totally passionately make out with you sloppy style any day.”

“I just want you two to know,” They both turned around, “That this is my first impression of both of you.” The new killer wore some sort of hat with a face on it, had black skin like 1x as well as a zippered mouth… which was unzipped already. (Damnit) The new killer had tentacle-looking things coming out from behind his back, and had on a purple shirt with the spawn symbol.

“What’s your n—”

“Are you Two-Time’s ex? The one who attacked the worker at that one Burger King because they ran out of Mozzarella fries?” John Doe glared at her, probably for interrupting him.

“Does everyone know about that?” The mozzarella-loving tentacle guy asked, “My name is Azurewrath, Azure for short. And yes, I did get… a bit upset when they ran out of mozzarella.”

“A bit? I heard you hospitalized–”

“Could we talk about something else?” Azure asked, embarrassed probably. “No, keep going, this is entertaining.” Said his hat. Which could talk, apparently. 1x1 watched with mild interest as the new killer grabbed the hat and stomped on it a few times before dusting it off and putting it back on. “Does anyone happen to have duct tape?”

—

1x1x1x1 ate her perfectly healthy breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast with a side of some fruit and fruit juice. “Mr 1x?” C00lkidd asked, “Why are you eating the limes with the peel on? Aren’t limes really sour?”

“I like limes a normal amount.” She said, and sipped on her 100 percent lime juice concentrate, to which she had added a bit of sprite, for the fizziness. Azure was eating some toast with some mozzarella cheese and… Was that a flower on it? Noli spoke up, “1’m pr3t7y $ur3 y0u'r3 4dd1c73d.” (“I’m pretty sure you're addicted.”)

“The same way you’re addicted to Jason’s weed?” Noli frowned, probably at being called out and labeled as an addict. “Wait actually,” 1x1 corrected herself, “The same way you’re addicted to 007n7? I know you guys ‘wrestle’ often, despite me telling you to not do it here. The walls aren't as sound proof as you think.” Noli turned bright red in embarrassment. Or shame.

“‘Wrestle’?” Azure asked. 1x smirked as Noli groaned and left the room. “You’ll find out soon enough.” Azure didn’t seem to like that, but went back to his toast. “Did anyone order takeout?” John Doe shouted from the front door. “The Spectre just delivered some.”

“My mozzarella Fries!! I had no idea that it would actually work!” Azure ran for the door. Those fries must be really good. “Hey.” 1x1x1x1 looked around for the source of the voice. “Look down.” It was Azure’s talking hat. “Can you take me off the ground? I don't want to get stepped on.” Should she? Nah. 1x ignored the hat. Maybe they kicked it a little.

Azure came back, eating the mozzarella sticks. “Oh there’s my hat.” He made no move to grab it. “Are you going to talk to your theyfriend?” 1x asked, “They miss you a lot. Once in a round they spent the entire time praying for your return from the dead. It was really weird. And concerning.”

Azure said nothing so 1x went on, “And you should consider finding Two Time a therapist. They’re really crazy and schizophrenic and stuff. Also you dated them? I can’t imagine the cultist pulling anyone.”

“First of all, they didn’t pull me. I pulled them.” Azure said, growling a little, like a feral animal. “Second of all, they weren’t always crazy, and third of all… my love life is none of your business.” The hat then spoke up. “Yeah!! He hates Two Ti–” Azure ripped the hat off and threw it out the window. “It can come back when it learns to speak when spoken to.”

—

“When will I be put through my first round?” Azure asked. No one answered because no one knew the answer. Noli was still waiting for his. Azure was going to go after him. “4$ f@r 4s 1 kN0w,” (“As far as I know”) Noli said, “4f73r m1n3, wH1ch 1$ pr0b4bly n3V3r c0m1n9.” (“After mine, which is probably never coming.”)

“Yeah he’s been waiting months now.” 1x said from where they were building a lego city with C00lkidd. “You’re going to have to wait… a little.” Yeah… just a little. Definitely. The hat spoke up suddenly, “Patience is a virtue~”

“Should I get the duct tape?” It shut up after that, but only after complaining a bit more. “This is hat abuse!” It said, “I deserve freedom of speech!” When Azure got up and reached for the tape the hat went silent.

“You really love your hat, huh?” 1x1 asked sarcastically. Azure scowled, “No.” Then asked Jason if there was room outside for a garden. There was plenty of room alright, even after excluding Jason’s garden.

—

“We should have played a teamwork game.” Azure said. The killers were trying to have a game night, but monopoly might not be the best choice. John Doe replied, “I think that might have made things worse. We’ve tried to play Charades on multiple occasions, but the only outcome was most of us dying multiple times.”

“...I’m going to take care of my garden instead.” Then the purple killer left. “I’m quitting.” Mafioso left as well. 1x1 shrugged. The chances of her winning were higher now. Then she went bankrupt.

“I’m going to get started on dinner. Have fun.” She spoke through gritted teeth. It was just a game. Just a game. Monopoly is just a game. Everything is okay. Next time they’d play Uno or Go Fish. Or just watch a movie.

Chapter Text

“Aren’t the dresses going to get dirty?” Azure asked, eyeing Pr3typriincess’s victims, both of whom were wearing fluffy pink dress covered in glitter. They were having another tea party, this time with Azure included.

“Probably.” 1x1x1x1 replied, “But these aren’t my dresses so I don’t really care. Did you know that the last time we were here we talked a lot about you?” The tentacled killer nodded. “I figured, since everyone knew about the burger king incident, somehow.”

“Where is John Doe, by the way?” 1x asked. The man usually came to the tea parties for the tea. Both literal tea and figurative tea. Azure sighed, “I don’t know. Maybe he decided not to come? Or maybe he’s still doing his round. I don’t know. I just know that I would rather be gardening right now…”

The house burst into flames. 1x1x1x1 sparing up from her seat, and ran towards the house, just as Mafioso and John Doe ran out. Jason emerged from his garden in the woods to look at the fire. Pr3typriincess came over from where she was making water balloons.

“What happened? What did Mafioso do?” 1x asked John Doe. Mafioso, upon hearing their words, angrily asked, “Why do you always assume I did something?” 1x1 rolled her eyes, “Well, was it you?” Mafioso was silent. They turned back to John Doe, and motioned for him to speak up.

“It was Mafioso’s fault. I gave him one job and he failed.” The house reformed, as good as new.

According to John Doe, he had been making cookies for the tea party, because he had the time. Right before he was teleported to a round, he’d asked Mafioso to turn off the oven when the timer went off. Which Mafioso hadn’t done. So when he got back, he found Mafioso and his minions trying to put out a huge fire in the burning kitchen.

“Aww… too bad the cookies are burnt…” C00lkidd said sadly. 1x patted him on the head. “I’m sure Pr3typriincess has cookies too.” Then he went inside to check on his minions.

“Are you guys okay?” 1x asked when she found them.

“Oi oi!!”

“Yes!!”

“Thank you for caring!!”

They were okay, which was good. Not because she cared about them or anything, totally. 1x was checking on them because she was a good person who made sure their workers were okay. Then she gave them a few sandwiches she made, and went back to the tea party.

“Okay!” Pr3typriincess started, “I finished making all the balloons.” She gave everyone a basket filled with water balloons. “Inside of them I put washable pink glitter paint!!” The 11 year old pointed at a table covered in empty paint and glitter containers. “And I put Noli and Bluudud on the front lawn for target practice. They volunteered, don't worry.” Bluudud and Noli shook their heads. They were both tied to lawn chairs, gagged, and wearing goggles.

“Are we throwing these at them?” Azure asked with a smirk, gesturing towards the balloons and the possible victims. Pr3typriincess nodded.

It was really fun. 1x1 didn’t miss a single time, since the targets were stationary. Next time maybe they should kidnap a few survivors for targets as well.

“I think we could untie them from the chairs and have them hop around as moving targets, as practice for the rounds.” Azure suggested innocently. John Doe nodded in agreement.

1x and Pr3typriincess looked at each other and shrugged. Why not?

—

“That was so much fun!!” C00lkidd said, “We should do that again!!” Noli shuddered, “N0.” C00lkidd made a noise of disappointment. “You’re no fun…” He pouted like some sort of child… oh, wait.

—

“No I swear I saw him, I was taking damage and everything–” Elliot sighed. Guest 1337 had been running around in circles from ‘the killer’ who was all the way across the map. “It’s probably his effect, right? Like how Jason gives you bleeding and John Doe applies corruption.”

Guest nodded. Chance spoke up. “But it doesn’t seem to be affecting Two Time?”

“That's ‘cause they're already crazy and schizophrenic.” Everyone nodded. “Makes sense.” Shedletsky said.

Earlier:

This round’s killer is… Noli!!!

“H4H4H@#H4 Y3S$$S Y3$SS$!!!” (“HAHAHAHHA YESSSS YESSSS!!!”) Noli screamed in joy. “F1N4LLY!!!” (“FINALLY!!!”) 1x1x1x1 rolled his eyes. “Congrats.” John Doe said.

Then Noli got teleported into his first round. Honestly, it was probably for the better that the spectre didn't put 007n7 in the round.

—

“Finally finished that generator. Did the spectre tone down the saturation on the generators or– AHHHH HELPPP ITS ATTAKING ME AHHHH” Chance screamed and ran away from the killer. Everyone just stared at him and didn’t help for some reason. “OMG THERE’S TWO OF THEM AHHHHH!!!”

Chance died.

—

Elliot watched as Chance completed a generator, then started screaming and running around. Noob came out of their hiding spot to stare, along with everyone else. Then the killer—Noli— came over and killed the man. And everyone ran for cover as he threw a bomb thing at them.

Two Time watched as everyone ran around in circles. They just stood there as the fake killer hit them. The cultist was a pro at discerning fake from real… most of the time. And the thing attacking them was naught but a figment of one’s imagination.

They ran as the real Noli approached them. LPS. (Last Person Standing, because though the Spectre is cruel and evil, it is inclusive.)

They lost. Badly.

—

“Ki ki ma.” Jason said to Noli after the round, and blew a party blower. “Ki ki ki ma ki!!” Noli awkwardly nodded and said, “uhh thanks Jason.”

“You were so cool!!!” C00lkidd said, “You won!! Even though you had no practice!!” John Doe also congratulated Noli. 1x1x1x1 just gave the released killer a thumbs up and continued shoving sugar-covered lime slices into her mouth. Azure just nodded at the news as he ate mozzarella fries, and some purple flowers. (was that healthy?)

“Where’s Bluudud? I haven't seen him in a while. 1x asked. “He’s visiting his mom in the survivor cabins.” Azure said. “Pr3typriincess went as well to meet her parent, and Mafioso took them there.”

“Good for them.” 1x1 said, before snatching the bag of corn chips Noli just opened out of his hands. “H3Y!”

Chapter Text

“Bluu~!! Mama’s home! Come help me with the grocery bags!” 118o8 called out for her son, who was probably playing computer games again. She smiled as he came out and grabbed two bags from the trunk and carried them into the kitchen. “Hey.” She said, and Bluudud looked up. “It’s Tuesday. You know what that means?” 

Her son’s eyes lit up, and he asked her, “Tacos?? And a movie, right?” She nodded. “Woah!! you bought more apple juice!! I love apple juice!!” 

“I got you that pie that you like too. The peach one, I think?”

“You’re the best!!”

—

The day had been going really well. 1x1x1x1 hadn’t lost a single match, and had finished with a draw against Telamon. Things had been going well for at least 2 weeks, since 1x had been trying his very best not to mess up by doing something stupid like talk back, or lose a battle, and so their relationship with their creator was improving. 

Then, late at night, Telamon had barged into her room, dragged her out of the house, and teleported them away somewhere. It was dark, and 1x couldn’t sense any walls around them. Powerful black chains kept her on the ground, and Telamon was nowhere to be seen. (let me out let me out let me out let me out LET ME OUT LET ME OUT OF HERE.)

Did she do something wrong? Was this a new punishment? But things had been going so well, she hadn't messed up at all recently! Well, not that she remembered. Maybe this was one of those instances where he was mad from work and needed to take it out. Or maybe she forgot something and he was punishing her for it. 

“Telamon?” No one answered, the only other sound in this place was the rattling of their chains. “I can– please let me out– I'm sorry I don't know what I did– but I can– I can fix it!! Please… I’m sorry…” He begged into empty air. Was Telamon even listening? Probably not. Maybe this was some sort of test?

Hopefully 1x1x1x1 would be let out soon. It was their birthday in a few days, and Brighteyes had made a custom cake order to that fancy bakery just for her. A lime flavored cake, her favorite, and green like her favorite color. 

—

“Your favorite color is lavender?” Bluudud had asked, and his mom had nodded in return. “Ok, then it’s my favorite color too.” He had picked a lavender shirt off the rack and added it to the shopping cart dramatically to make a point. His mama had laughed and patted him on the head. She was the best. 

He never understood why the teenagers at the park said they hated their parents. His mom was so awesome and let him buy things with her credit card, and they would make tacos together all the time.

Now– he wasn’t doing this because he hated her or was mad at her or anything– but he just couldn't fall asleep, and she told him to go to bed, but going outside to play sounded more fun so–

—

A long time had passed and 1x slowly got used to the feeling of hunger, sleeping most of the time, but occasionally standing up to stretch. Were her hands turning… black? Maybe it was the hunger messing with her eyesight. (Sorry sorry sorry I’m sorry sorry Im sorry please forgive I'm sorry I don't know what I did but i sorry I won’t do it again PLEASE–)

They tried again. “Please… It’s been a long time… can  you let me out now? I’ll do better– I won’t do whatever I did again…” It was hopeless. Had he forgotten about her? Maybe 1x1 was destined to die or fade away in this endless black void, forgotten, discarded, and unwanted. 

The next time 1x1 woke up, it was centuries later. (Not that they’d know.) Telamon had already retired and became Shedletsky, 1x1x1x1 forgotten in time. (Brighteyes still wondered where they went, sometimes. Not that anyone else but her knew.) Their hands were completely dyed black, the same way he suspected his entire body was. 

The chains were weaker now, they could feel it. The code that they were made up of was weaker, and outdated compared to the rest of the world, which updated itself every few days, the same way a robloxian’s code constantly fixed itself and made improvements. 

Should she–? Was this the test? How long had it been? She looked completely different now– previously light skin turned black, torso jello-fied– no one would recognise her. Maybe that was for the better. 

Maybe this was a test of patience. See how long she could wait before trying to get out? 

(After waiting a few more decades, she had come to the conclusion that this wasn’t and had never been a test. Instead, she had been abandoned, and locked up, because Telamon didn’t want her anymore, or some other stupid reason. She hadn’t even done anything wrong. She hated him hated him HATED HIM HATED–)

…

The chains broke on their own, old code too outdated to hold 1x anymore. For the first time in what felt like forever (it was forever), 1x1x1x1 could walk around again. There was no way stupid Telamon was coming back for her, she knew now. He had either wanted them gone, or forgotten them, and neither option was pretty. 

All that was left was breaking out of the stupid prison dimension, and going home. 1x could do that. 

Later, when he escaped, 1x got a measly 5 hours in Robloxia before being forsaken. (5 hours of real sun and positive emotion) The sunlight was nice, while it lasted. The banlands, huh? She’d done nothing wrong and still got sent– whatever. She was out now. Better enjoy it before it gets inevitably snatched away from her hands. And snatched it was.

—

(Wait– was that a car–?)

His mom would pick him up soon, probably. She was awesome and always knew how to make him feel better, probably even in strange worlds you get teleported to after maybe getting hit by a car. Then when they got home she’d rent a movie and they would watch it together and he’d apologise for sneaking out. And then she’d tell him everything is alright and the she still loved him even if he looked weird and different now. 

Everything would turn out fine. His mom was the best, she would find him.

—

Sh e  co u l  dn’ t  f in  d   h  i m . 

Everywhere— she’d looked everywhere, put up posters, and asked around. But her baby was nowhere to be found. Like he’d vanished into thin air. Sometimes she woke up in the middle of the night with her hands reaching out for a boy that wasn’t there. 

She still bought the apple juice and peach pies he liked, in hopes that maybe one day she’d find him. Then she could bring him home and be better at keeping him safe. 

A loud bang came from the room next door. She ran without thinking, throwing open her son’s bedroom door and running inside–

This wasn’t–

She was in a cabin of some sort? 118o8 turned around to leave but behind her wasn’t her house. It was a pathway to a wooded forest. 

“Another one?”

Chapter Text

“I don’t know who you are.” Pr3typriincess said to the person who was hugging her. Bluudud was somewhere else in the cabin with his mom. The stranger stopped hugging her and told Pr3typriincess that they were her parent. She remembered something about this person. Dolor had told her about them a while ago. Dolor…

But parents were like how Mr. 007n7 were to C00lkidd, or sort of like how Miss 1x was like sometimes. They knew you well and spent a lot of time with you, and helped you do things you couldn’t do yet, or didn't know how to do. They take care of you and care about you.

The stranger couldn’t be her parent because they didn’t know each other, and had never met before today. And to care about someone you need to know them, and spend time with them. They seemed to want to be her parent though. Maybe the stranger could be someone she could call her parent, in the future.

—

“Did you know I’m half Drakobloxxer?” Pr3typriincess asked 226w6, who nodded. They had made her after all, of course they knew. 226w6 didn’t say this out loud though, instead saying, “That’s so very cool.”

“Thank you!! I also have a pet gubby at home! His name is Gandalf.” The little girl continued, “I like eating mints, especially if it’s the thin ones. Those are the best! You should try some!”

“They sound tasty, I’ll have to try some later!” 226w6 said with a smile. They had created the little girl to spread joy, and she seemed to be doing exactly that. (Never mind the rounds, those didn't count.)

Pr3typriincess pulled out a card from her dress. (Miss 1x had sewn pockets into all her dresses while complaining the entire time after being told that Pr3ty’s dresses didn’t have any. She didn’t even have to ask her to do that.) It was a pink glittery invitation card to a tea party.

“Umm I know you’re supposed to be my parent and stuff… but I just met you, and the only thing I know about you is that you made me.” The 11 year old said awkwardly, then asked 226w6, “So I invited you to my tea party so that we can talk more! So you won’t be a stranger anymore! Uhm— if you don’t want to come it’s fine!! But please come!!”

“Of course I’ll go, Pr3typriincess . You’re a lovely girl, and I’d love to get to know you more.”

“Are you guys done with the sappy talk? I’m getting diabetes just from breathing in the same room as you two.” Both child and parent turned to stare at the newcomer. It was Shedletsky.

“…you’re invited to my tea party as a piñata. We’ll be using baseball bats with nails in them just for you.”

“Wait no— I’m sorry!!”

“Too late! Next time think before you speak.” Pr3typriincess stuck out her tongue at him. 1x1 walked into the room, looked around and asked, “What did Bitchletsky do?” He pulled out his sword and the former admin backed up with his hands up in some sort of placating manner, as if 1x was some sort of feral animal that would un-internalize the internal organs of a man in front of a child.

“I just said they were being sappy!” Shedletsky said, “I have no idea why you’re all acting this way! I literally said one thing!”

“Shedletsky…” When did Guest 1337 get in here? “It’s a family reunion slash meeting your daughter slash creator-parent for the first time… of course it’s going to be very ‘feelings’.”

“Did you just say slash out loud?”

“Not the point.”

—

They ate dinner at the survivors' cabins that night.

1x1 kicked Shedletsky under the table, and bit into her spaghetti noodles. Shedletsky was eating fried chicken again since he already finished his portion of dinner, and seconds, and thirds. She kicked him again, harder. Shedletsky frowned and looked under the table, but 1x had already retracted their foot. John Doe tapped her on the shoulder and shook his head, then went back to eavesdropping on other people’s conversations. Two Time was still trying to apologise to Azure, who was trying his best (not very well) to ignore them. The hat was in the freezer.

“Chance, why are you still flipping your coin?” Shedletsky asked. Huh, Chance did have one hand underneath the table. Were the slot machines 1x1 saw earlier not enough for him?

Chance smirked and said, “I have weakness LVII DLXXXIX right now, and it’s still going higher.” Noob scooted their chair further away from the gambling addict. Someone else sighed. Guest 1337 frowned. “Be careful. I think at that level of weakness… you’ll die if you move the wrong way.”

“Death’s not permanent anyway.”

“Not an excuse, fix your hat and get rid of the stacks.” Elliot snapped. “I’m tired of you firing your gun on weakness 36 and being surprised when it explodes on you and you die. I’m tired of you dying after being pushed aside by a killer because you had weakness stacked up to the moon, and I’m tired of not being able to heal anyone other than you in most rounds because you're always low on health.”

“Wow.” 1x whistled. That was a lot of pent up anger. Minimum wage rage was real. Or maybe the repressed anger came with being a healer.

—

“I got a gift for you” 1x1x1x1 said to Taph, who perked up. “Here.” They dumped two red buttons into Taph’s arms. “Press one.”

Taph pressed the one that said ‘BOOM’ on it in all caps. The sound of a person saying ‘BOOM’ played out. “😮” Taph pressed the other one, which didn’t have any letters on it and was plain. An explosion sound effect (💥) played. “😃👍!”

“I’m glad you like them.” 1x said. “Let’s go show the others.”

…

‘B-BOOM!! BOOM!! 💥!💥! BOOM!! BOOM!!! B-BOOM! 💥!BOO-BOOM!! 💥!!!’ Taph was spamming the buttons, and knew fully well that he was being annoying. But well… “😈”

‘BOOM!! 💥! BOOM! 💥!💥! BOOM! BOOM!! B-BOOM! 💥!BOO-BOOM!! 💥BOOM!! 💥!!💥!!!💥!’

Dusekkar sighed. There goes his peaceful afternoon nap. “Taph, could you please—“

One of Taph’s subspace tripmines came flying the magical admin-man’s way.

BOOM!

Chapter Text

“You’re still not done with that book?” 1x was still reading the book she found in Mafioso’s room.

“Yeah. I have to pause every few pages to ask myself why I'm still reading.” 1x1 had found the book in a safe behind a heavy shelf in Mafioso’s room. To say she had been disappointed to find only a collection of books, and not something more interesting inside was an understatement. They ended up taking the only book whose pages weren’t stuck together to read.

“Where’d you find it? I didn’t think you were the romance type of person.” John Doe waited for an answer. “I found it inside a safe in Mafioso’s room. It took me forever to open, so I had to make it worth it by grabbing something. I can’t get you another book from his collection if you want.” She still remembered the combination, after all. “I’m good.”

“Okay then.” 1x continued the book. A few moments later, she slammed the book closed and sat there for a good few minutes.

“What happened?”

“Page 157, second paragraph. When you're done you can put the book in Mafioso’s room for me. Behind the second shelf to the right of the door. The combination is 56-75-92-10-83-94-29” John Doe opened the book and immediately closed it again after a few seconds of reading.

Silence for a few long seconds.

“That’s not how- That’s not how it works. It physically— It doesn’t make sense.” John Doe seemed to be at a loss for words, and 1x replied with a quiet “I know.” Yeah 1x was never ever going to touch another romance book for the next hundred years.

“Was there anything before that? That you ignored or…?”

“No. It went from zero to one hundred in 2 lines.”

—

“Did the Spectre kidnap you just so you could work here?” Elliot asked the store employee. Overnight, a large store had appeared in the lobby. (Just imagine a woody camping area with wooden cabins, and then randomly also a Walmart or some other superstore) There was a man at the counter, whose only purpose seemed to be working there.

“Probably, the way my life was going though, nothing changed. Actually this might be more interesting than the real world.” Wow, that was sad.

Meanwhile…

“C00lkidd, stop that. The shopping carts aren’t for racing with. Put it back, we’re using the baskets.” 1x1x1x1 sighed, and C00lkidd made a noise of disappointment as he dejectedly put the cart back. “You can pick out a snack if you want.” C00lkidd cheered and ran off. “Hey! Get back here!”

…

“Would you like a bag for that?” The store employee— his name tag literally read ‘employee man’— asked. “Terrible, how about you?” 1x replied absentmindedly as he put the soon-to-be purchased goods onto the counter.

“How many would you like?” The worker asked, scanning the products. “That’s nice.” They both paused after that, seeming to realize that neither had been paying any attention to the conversation. “…I hate my life.” 1x1 sighed. John Doe patted her on the shoulder.

“So… did you want a bag?”

“Hs-er-ksn-suj—” 1x said— well more like stuttered. “Yes.” She sighed, then put her head in her hands. They were so done with today.

—

1x1 threw themself onto the couch besides John Doe. Mafioso rolled his eyes, “My day was going great until you walked in.” 1x glared at him. “My day was going great until I read that book in your little safe behind the bookshelf in your room.” That shut him up real quick.

“C4n y0u 9uy$ n07?” (“Can you guys not?”) Noli asked, “I w0uLd r47h3r n07 h@v3 7o L1s73n 70 y0u 9uy$ h4v3 @ scr34m1n9 m@7ch t0d4y.” (“I would rather not have to listen to you guys have a screaming match today.”) Then he sighed as 1x unsheathed her sword, and Mafioso pulled out his sword. “N07 4g@1n…” (Not again…)

John Doe stepped between the two. “Come on, let’s be mature adults about this.” But 1x1 didn't want to be a mature adult about it. “Me, 1x1x1x1, and the 3 trouble gremlins will go outside and have ice cream, and you can have time without 1x in the room.” Mafioso scowled but put his sword away, and 1x1 nodded reluctantly and left the room for the kitchen.

—

“Woah! You can see the stars!” C00lkidd said, “And it’s not even night time yet!” That was one pro of being in this realm. The lack of air pollution and light pollution made the stars actually visible at night.

“Do you know any constellations?” Bluudud asked, “My mom said that there’s pictures in the stars with stories.” 1x1 shook their head,when they were still free they’d never had the time at night to look at the sky. And when they weren’t… Well, there was no sky in the Banlands.

“Oh! I know one!! There’s supposed to be a bear!!” Pr3typriincess said, “I don’t know where it is though…” was added a few seconds later. “There’s two, I think.” John Doe said. “Two bears, a big mama one and a small baby one.”

“I think the story is based off mythology…” 1x1x1x1 added quietly, “I can’t remember the story but I know for sure that someone put them up there to protect them.” 1x quickly added an, “I think.” Just in case they were wrong.

“You should eat your ice cream, it’s melting.” John Doe said, and 1x1x1x1 looked down to see that indeed, it was melting. They tried and failed to prevent the melted ice cream from dripping. C00lkidd laughed a bit, and John Doe handed her a napkin to wipe her hand. It did nothing for the stickiness that remained on her hand.

But in that moment, eating ice cream with the children and John Doe while sitting in the clearing, 1x1x1x1 was feeling pretty content and… 1x1x1x1 felt– 1x was– she was… she… She wanted to punch someone, because Telamon damnit— for a moment, just a moment she had felt happy, and it had been actually genuine happiness, and not some cheap imitation of it.

This was what 1x liked to call ‘phantom emotions’, because the same way people that get their limbs amputated feel phantom limbs, 1x sometimes felt emotions he couldn’t possibly have. There had been a time when they could feel positive emotions– the memories were blurry and distorted, but 1x1 knew for a fact that they had been happy before. But that had been before…

It happened every time she thought about Brighteyes, and sometimes happened when she was near John Doe or babysitting the kids. It was the worst and best feeling ever, because for a moment— just a moment, 1x1 would feel happy, content, and then it would be gone again, leaving them feeling even more empty than usual. And 1x hated it.

“You good, 1x1?” John Doe interrupted 1x1x1x1’s train of thought. “Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine… What were we talking about?”

“I didn't think you were the forgetful type? That's supposed to be my job, being forgetful.” 1x rolled their eyes and playfully swatted at John Doe’s arm.

Chapter Text

“Haha, mine's bigger!” Bluudud bragged, and John Doe had to cough to disguise his laughing. The kids were building card houses, and Bluudud had managed to build the tallest— and biggest— one so far.

They all looked towards the hallway. Two people, one of which was probably 1x, and someone else, probably Mafioso, were arguing. John Doe could sort of make out the argument.

“…hate—stupid—ck off!!”

“…you—hate all of—up!!!”

He sighed. Mafioso was 1x it was, and things were probably going to get physical soon if he didn’t interfere.

—

1x1x1x1 whistled a little tune as he walked down the hall. Today was delivery day, and she’d ordered 4 crates of limes.

Mafioso blocked her path. “You need to stay out of my room.” Oh, this again. “Then you need to stay out of my room.”

“I only go in because you steal stuff from me!” He stole from her too!!

“I don’t go into your room, you just leave it lying around, so I take it.” He should take better care of his things, if he truly valued them.

“Just stay out of my room! Is it that hard?”

“Yes, because you keep going into my room, and leaving your stupid smelly tobacco scent all over it and it sucks!!”

“THEN STOP TAKING MY STUFF!!”

“NO! YOU LEAVE IT ALL OVER THE PLACE, AND YOU EXPECT ME TO NOT MIND IT?” They were shouting now, maybe even yelling or screaming at each other. “YOURE STUPID, AND I HATE YOU, AND I HATE EVERYTHING IN THE STUPID REALM AND ESPECIALLY YOU!!”

—

John Doe got up from the chair and made his way to the hallway. “Where are you going Mr. Doe?” C00lkidd asked.

“The hallway, I’ll be right back. You can… make your house taller while you wait for me.” Then he walked (speed walked, okay maybe ran) all the way across the house to where the… disagreement was happening.

“Guys stop it,” John Doe tried, “There’s no way that this fight is worth having to clean up and repair the house over.” Nothing. Next tactic, then. “Stop fighting.” He stepped between the two, and said, “You guys can talk this out peacefully, I’m sure— I think.”

After listening to them talk like civilized politicians (yell at each other and get nothing done), John Doe sighed, “Stop going into each other's rooms, and stop leaving your stuff lying around. If you want something, ask.”

—

1x stormed back to their room. The day was off to a terrible start already, and she didn’t feel like cooking, so nap time it was!

…

This round’s killer is 1x1x1x1!

…

“Is it a chill round? It’s been a pretty long time and no one has seen 1x.” Chance asked Guest 1337

“Yeah, 1x1 decided to use this round as napping time. Or maybe they were already napping and were interrupted.”

“🤫1️⃣❌➡️😴💤” Taph had Elliot quiet down as he approached the sleeping figure of the rounds killer. “What. Is he dead? No, then the round would be over…”

“🔄🎬1️⃣❌😴💤” Elliot nodded. “What? What’d he say?” Chance whisper-yelled, startling the pizza delivery worker. “He said that the moment they spawned in, 1x just laid down on the grass and fell asleep.”

“Ok.” Chance said. Taph was braiding little flowers into the killer’s hair now.

Meanwhile…

“Is she… sleeping?” Azure wondered out loud. Noli looked up from his phone, “Wh4t?” Azure nodded towards the big TV where the round was being shown. 1x was sleeping in the grass while the demolitionist braided wildflowers into their hair. Elliot was making flower crowns with Chance.

“$ur3 l0ok$ l1k3 17.” (“Sure looks like it.”) Noli said.

—

1x1x1x1 woke up in her bed feeling very refreshed. There was something on her head though, and she got up to look in the mirror.

There were 2 flower crowns on her head, and multiple other fleurs braided into her hair.

Huh.

She went downstairs to grab herself a drink. There was a mango flavor- looking drink (it was orange-yellow, so it had to be mango flavored.) 1x took a sip of the mystery drink.

It was sweet, not as good as 100 percent lime concentrate with a few spoonfuls of sugar added, but still pretty good. They took a few more sips. “That’s not yours.” Azure said. 1x shrugged, “I don’t care.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t?”

“If they cared that much about it, they wouldn’t have left it alone.” Someone entered the kitchen.

“That’s my drink…” John Doe said. 1x paused and frowned. “Sorry, I think.”

“I told you you shouldn’t drink it.” Azure said, “But nooo… ‘I don’t care if it’s someone’s drink, they shouldn’t have left it there unattended!’ You said,” The hat also spoke up “Yeah hehehe! You should've been smarter!”

When 1x had stopped drinking from the straw, some of the undrunken juice in her mouth had fallen back into the glass again. She offered it to John Doe. Azure made a face. “Ew, you couldn’t have just apologized the proper way and made him a new one?”

That was too much effort. Easier to spit it out and offer it so when the other person declined, you could say something like ‘oh well, I tried to give you some. You declined, make yourself a new one hahaha.’

John Doe drank it all in one go, and opened the fridge to make more. “Well,” 1x said, “That was unexpected, but it also means I don’t have to do any work, like making a new one.”

The hat made a disgusted face, and mimicked vomiting, while Azure gawked at them, “That’s all you’re going to say? That was disgusting. In your mouth. And probably not safe to do. Isn’t there a disease that spreads like that?”

1x shrugged, who even cared about that anyways? It's not like a disease could kill them permanently or something. “It’s basically sharing drinks, but with extra steps.” John Doe had remade his drink and left the room already.

“No it’s not.” Azure argued, “You might as well have chewed on some food and spat it straight into his mouth like the thing those birds do.” 1x’s wings opened defensively. “Hey. ‘Those birds’ probably think it’s normal. They do it because they don’t want their kids choking or something.”

“Ok monsieur-moiselle bird.” 1x1x1x1 raised a brow at that statement and asked Azure, “Do you want me to call you mister tentacle monster?”

He shook his head and said, “Touché, mon amie.” Then the stupid hat laughed and in perfect unison, both 1x and Azure said, “Shut up.” The hat shut up.

“… You’re going into the freeze-dryer.” Azure said after half a minute, as though he had been thinking about a punishment.

“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!” The hat cried, “HELP!! HELPP!! HELP MEEEE 1X, I'M SORRY!!!! PLEASEEE!!! THIS IS HAT ABUSE!!!”

1x1x1x1 walked away. “Good luck”, they shouted to Azure. Because the hat was annoying, and Azure knew how to mind his own business.

Chapter Text

“There’s a really long road a few meters west of our cabin mansion thing.” 1x1x1x1 began, “It’s pretty long. I don’t know what it leads to.” No one paid him any mind. “Can we find out? Like get a car somehow and drive down the road?”

John Doe nodded and said, “Sure, but where would we get a car from? Its not like you can order one online for delivery.”

“Isn’t there that map… the pizzeria with the trucks and cars in it?” But… how would they bring it back? To the lobby?

“Do you think that if we were in the car or holding it, we’d get teleported back with it? I mean… the flower crowns were from the games and they stayed, didn’t they?” John Doe asked, and everyone in the room looked at each other.

—

This round’s killer is… Noli!

Noli made a mad dash for the parking lot the moment he spawned in. He’d never stolen a car before— back then it seemed too tame, but now, in purgatory or wherever they were, he was bored, and this would be entertaining and fun.

”0u7 of my w4y!” He pushed away the survivors in his way and reached for the handle. The car door opened, the keys already in the ignition. Huh. Weird. There were a lot of buttons Noli didn’t know the use for.

Noli carefully tried to back out of the parking space, and accomplished running over a survivor by doing so— Noob— well, he was pretty sure it was Noob screamed in pain, probably from being run over.

When was the last time he drove a car again? Noli had to hit the brakes to avoid driving into a wall. In the months before his forsakening, he’d just… teleported to places he wanted to go. The most recent time he could remember driving was actually when he was taking his drivers license test. Wait didn’t he-

He didn’t get to finish the thought though, because at that exact moment Noli accidentally drove into two survivors and crashed into a nearby building. The door was jammed shut. The crash had broken it, probably beyond repair. Noli and the two survivors under the car were trapped.

Noli had failed his driving test. That was why he couldn’t remember driving. Wait—was that a… sizzling sound?

BOOM!

The survivors won!

…

This round’s killer is… John Doe!

John Doe had a good plan, unlike Noli, who had probably planned to drive his newly stolen car the entire round, instead of trying to win it. John Doe was going to kill every survivor but one, chase that last survivor towards a car, and kill them while touching a car. Then, he would celebrate his success in bringing a car back to the lobby.

The killing sort was easy, it was the chasing a survivor towards a specific destination without them noticing he was chasing them that way that was hard.

For some reason, Chance would just not run to the cars, instead choosing to circle the edge of the map. He’d even tried grabbing the sentinel, and dragging them over to the parking lot, but of all rounds, it was this round Chance decided to actually try in.

There were 23 seconds left on the timer when John Doe gave up on his plan, grabbed a car from the parking lot and ran towards Chance. Said survivor froze like a deer in headlights in terror for a few seconds before sprinting off. 8 seconds left.

John Doe, fueled with adrenaline and the refusal to give up (determination hhahah), threw the car at Chance and won the round.

The killer won!

As John Doe was teleported back to the cabin, he realized one thing; he didn’t get the car. He wasn’t touching the car when the round ended because he threw it at Chance.

…

Azure had no idea what a car was, and was pretty grateful his first round wasn’t coming anytime soon. The last he didn’t know what something was, everyone laughed at him when he asked. “You don’t know what a car is, do you?” His hat asked smugly. Azure could hear the smirk in the way it talked.

“Shall I put you in the air fryer?” The purple killer asked as he took off his hat. The way the smirk instantaneously disappeared from his hat’s face filled Azure with great satisfaction and joy.

“I’m sorry, very terribly sorry, so sorry that it would be cruel to not consider forgiving me—” His hat tried to talk its way out if punishment As Azure started towards the kitchen.

“Too late.” The killer said, and shoved the hat into the air fryer.

…

This round's killer is… Coolkidd!

C00lkidd had no idea why all the adults suddenly wanted to take a car from the playground, but Mr. Doe seemed very upset when he didn’t get a car when he came back. So C00lkidd decided that he was going to help, by getting a car for him!

One problem: C00lkidd wasn’t allowed to drive in a real car, because that was against the rules.

He went looking for his dad.

“Hey dad? Do you know how to drive?” C00lkidd asked his dad, pointing to a random car.

“I think so.” (Spoiler: he thought wrong.)

So they both got in, and his dad even let him sit in the front seat! C00lkidd buckled his seat belt and watched 007n7 do the same.

…

“Umm I think this one is the gas…?” Truth be told, it had been years since 007n7 last stepped foot in a car. He hadn’t driven since college, instead choosing to teleport: the quicker and easier method of transportation.

007n7 barely avoided hitting a tree. “It’s been a long time since I last drove.” He warned C00lkidd, “So I’m not very good at thi—aAHh!” He swerved to avoid Chance, who had walked into the path of the out-of-control vehicle.

“Wheeeee!” At least his kid was having fun. He turned to smile at C00lkidd, and the car crashed into a wall and burst into flames and exploded.

The survivors win!

Chapter Text

1x1 yawned and got up from where she was sleeping on the floor. It was a cool tile, ok? Much more comfortable in the summer heat than a bed, which accumulated heat pretty fast. And it was next to one of those air vents that cool air comes out from.

Oh, and Mafioso had stolen 1x1x1x1’s mattress and it was a week until the new one came. (Mafioso had to avoid them for a week after 1x found out it was him who took it.)

After going through their morning routine. 1x headed downstairs to get started on breakfast. “What’s cookin’ good lookin’?” 1x frowned at Azure. “2/10, you could do a lot better.” Azure had been practicing pick up lines ever since he and the cultist made up. Don’t ask her when it happened, 1x1x1x1 had no idea.

“I figured”, Azure sighed and 1x couldn’t help but ask. “Shouldn’t you be practicing your pickup lines on y’know, your theyfriend?”

Azure sputtered out a few sounds, before finally saying, “Theyfriend??” Which was neither confirming nor denying the fact that they had a theyfriend. 1x nodded.

—

“How’d you even find this road?” John Doe asked 1x1x1x1, who looked around for eavesdroppers, and when she found none, replied, “I was looking for a good place to make a garden of poisonous plants, to see which one works best on… uhh… someone.”

John Doe sighed.“It’s for Mafioso, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is.” The man had been getting on her nerves recently, constantly complaining about her food. If he wanted his food to taste good, then he should stop doing things that made her mad! Stupid mattress stealer.

—

This round's killer is 1x1x1x1!

1x spawned in and made a break for a car, slashing with their swords in front of them to clear the path.

“Do you even know how to drive?” Elliot asked, “None of the other killers seemed to know how to.”

“Yeah.” Brighteyes had taught her how to drive. “Sorry for what I’m about to do, by the way.” 1x said before starting the car and running over the pizza delivery man, who realized what was happening a moment too late, and got crushed under the car. Still alive, though, so 1x1 ran over him a second time, and a third and a fourth until he was dead.

The other survivors tried to run, but the car was faster. 1x swerved to hit Shedletsky, killing the ex-admin. She saw a flash of yellow in her peripheral vision, and chased after Noob.

After a while, the car started to slip. Probably from the blood of all the survivors he ran over. Time to switch cars.

Dusekkar tried to run and zap 1x, which didn’t work because she was a moving target, and therefore, harder to land a hit on.

The killer wins!

—

1x1 was teleported with her newly acquired car, outside of the cabin-mansion. She’d done it! Time to drive down the road! Right after, of course, they had the wheels cleaned. All the blood on it was making the wheels slippery, which wouldn’t do.

(There turned out to be nothing down the road. Only a sign that read:

‘I don’t really think anyone is gonna walk all the way down this road but I’m putting the sign here just in case.

This area is a work in progress, and if you are reading this then you’ve wasted a lot of time getting here. Have fun going back!

:3’

1x punched the sign before heading back.)

—

1x1x1x1 was on babysitting duty again. Reason? Bluudud and C00lkidd got their hands on some skateboards and wanted to use them on the road they found.

“Do you even know how to skateboard properly?” C00lkidd shook his head. Bluudud said, “I’ve never tried it before, but it can’t be that hard!” Honestly, she had never tried it either. So it would be a learning experience for all of them.

1x watched with great interest as Bluudud got onto his skateboard and tried to move it. He seemed to be doing well, but 1x1 couldn’t tell for sure because they had no idea what was actually considered good in terms of well, skateboarding.

1x1 also watched as Bluudud got a bit too confident, went too fast, fell, and ate fycking shit on the pavement. She should… help him up.

“Do you want a band-aid?” 1x asked the slightly injured boy. “Please don’t cry.”

“I’m not a kid! I’m not crying.” Bluudud said, then added, “Yes please.” C00lkidd put his skateboard up and 1x stopped him with a glare. They were NOT dealing with two upset, about-to-cry children. Nuh-uh.

1x took out a blue band-aid from the pack and handed it to Bluudud. “Why’s there a princess on the band-aid?” She didn't answer. The Disney princess pack was the cheapest one online, so that was what 1x1 got.

Actually that was a lie. 1x had wanted princess themed band-aids for no real reason, but because he was an adult with free will and money, 1x1 could indulge herself with a small impulse purchase.

It’s not like the band-aids were useless anyways. So.

“Let’s go back inside.”

“Awww…”

—

“This is so stupid.” And it was too. Why in the world would you run into the basement to hide from a serial killer? It was common sense to run out of the house, into the car and drive 100 miles away. “They shouldn’t even be in the middle of the woods in an abandoned house anyways.”

Jason seemed to have mixed feelings about the part where the serial killer stumbled upon two people in a car— not driving away— but having creational recreation after 3 of their friends were killed. They were so stupid! There were plenty of other times—and places—that they could do that, but in the middle of the woods with a serial killer trying to hunt you down, that you should be trying to escape?

“It’s a pretty good decision to have the kids go to bed earlier I think.” Azure said. Eating popcorn. He was using his hat, which was covered in saran wrap, as a bowl.

“Y34.” Noli agreed.

1x1 frowned as the last surviving victim ran away and the credits rolled. “There were like 10 of them. Why didn’t they try to jump the serial killer? There were kitchen knives right there. And the killer doesn’t even have a gun. Just an axe.”

John Doe shrugged. “They clearly weren’t very smart if they thought sneaking out into an abandoned house in the middle of the forest with a reputation for making people disappear was a good idea.”

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 refused to make breakfast this morning. Absolutely not today. No. So, they stayed in their room all morning until John Doe called him down for breakfast.

“Wow. This looks terrible.” 1x said, sitting down. The manifestation of hatred stared down at the black sludge placed before them. “Who made this?” No one said anything, but everyone looked towards Noli, who noticed the staring. “uuuuhh… 1 h4v3 n0 id#a.”

“...I’m going back to my room. There’s bread in the pantry. You’ll be fine.” But then C00lkidd gave him the most pathetic look ever, and 1x knew that they would be stuck making breakfast sandwiches for everyone.

—

This round’s killer is… 1x1x1x1 and Mafioso!

Yeah… they were not winning this round. 1x and Mafioso got along as well as a pair of stereotypical stepdaughters did. That is to say, not at all.

—

“Stop getting in my way!” Elliot watched as Mafioso and 1x1x1x1 started shouting at each other. The only people dead this round were Shedletsky and Chance. Shedletsky had been killed by Mafioso’s goons, and Chance had been one-shot by 1x.

“S-should we… s-stop t-them?” Noob asked as they watched the two killers attack each other. “I think… no.” Elliot said. “We can’t stop them, and trying to step in could make it worse.”

“😃🏆❓” Taph had gotten a hold of microwave popcorn during the round somehow, and offered some to Elliot.

“Yeah I think 1x is winning. Mafioso is limping already.” Elliot took the offered popcorn. “Wait, this tastes really good actually.”

The timer hit zero and…

The survivors win!

—

“That went well.” Mafioso said passive-aggressively (Just aggressively, really), before heading out the front door. Probably for a smoke break or something. After that train wreck of a round all 1x wanted to do was take a nap and sort everything else out later.

“I’m going upstairs to sleep off my undying rage and irritation.” 1x1x1x1 called into the living room, “If anyone wakes me up… prepare for the might of my wrath. Do not wake me for lunch or dinner.” Then she went upstairs for the much needed nap.

While 1x was walking past the kitchen, one of her minions came out and handed her a small bowl of dried limes. “Thank you.” She said, before taking one and giving it back to the minion.

Once in her room, 1x1x1x1 immediately changed into their sleepwear and climbed onto their bed. Instead of immediately napping, however, 1x decided to set a half hour timer and scroll of TikTok.

…

The timer rang, and 1x with her incredible self control, turned off the phone and settled down for her afternoon nap. Then, right as she turned off the light, a series of loud crashes came from downstairs. Whatever. John Doe and Azure knew how to clean up messes.

—

“Haha! I won!” Bluudud said as he, the peak of maturity, stuck out his tongue at C00lkidd.

“No fair! You cheated!”

“Nuh-uh”

“Yuh-huh!”

“NUH-UH!”

John Doe stopped them before they could get any louder. “1x is trying to sleep. If we wake them up…” This worked, as both the boys stopped their screaming match and resorted to making faces at each other.

Then Noli’s foot caught on the edge of the carpet, and so he stumbled and dropped his bowl of tortilla chips, which Azure tripped over, sending the tall lamp falling into the window. The window shattered on impact, and one of the shards hit Pr3typriincess who screamed.

John Doe had half a second to think, ‘I jinxed it somehow, didn’t I?’ before Bluudud shoved C00lkidd into John Doe, and he accidentally threw the kid across the room. (C00lkidd landed on the other couch, safe and sound.) Also, the lampshade fell right onto Mafioso who was smoking outside.

All of this, as one might assume, made an awful lot of noise. And also a really big mess to clean up. What just happened was the type of chain reaction that was scripted by comedians to make an audience laugh, not the type of thing to happen naturally. John Doe really hoped 1x had somehow slept through it all.

—

1x1x1x1 woke up from his nap feeling better than before. Which wasn’t saying a lot, but still. This feeling better did not last long, however. Because when 1x reached up to unzip her zipper mouth, which had, for no reason rezipped itself, she realized it was stuck.

Which would have been fine, but unfortunately for 1x1’s feeling’s… the top part of the slider broke and the zipper tab came off.

1x1 had a few choices: commit respawn and hope that fixed it (very likely), drink it off (it wouldn’t work), ask builderman for help, wait until the next round and hope that fixed it, or go back to bed and think about it later.

1x1x1x1 went back to bed, and set a timer for when she’d go to make dinner.

—

The zipper was still, much to 1x’s dismay, broken. But because 1x1 had a sense of responsibility, she went to make dinner downstairs.

1x1 had never made pasta from scratch before, and it was probably a bad idea to do so while distracted, but they didn’t feel like making anything else.

How much salt was she supposed to add again? Hmm people did usually say ‘salt it like the sea’… or was it ‘taste the sea’?

—

John Doe took one bite of his food and said very patiently, “1x1x1x1. If you’re mad at us please just tell us so we can fix it.”

“Weak.” Mafioso said, and all the adults at the table glared at him. Azure threw his hat at the man. “Not all of us kill our tastebuds by smoking 500 cigarettes a day.”

“One time. That was one time.”

Unfortunately for John Doe, 1x said nothing, instead choosing to stare menacingly at no one in particular.

Was she mad about the noise earlier? It was definitely loud enough to wake her up. Maybe she was just in a bad mood from the bad match earlier, and accidentally added too much salt.

“1x—” John Doe started to ask, but was interrupted by the sound of 1x1x1x1 snapping their fork in half. The full force of 1x1’s glare was on him now. “…never mind.”

Chapter Text

1x1x1x1 watched as John Doe took one bite of his food and promptly said to her, “1x1x1x1. If you’re mad at us please just tell us so we can fix it.” Why did he think she was mad at him? Did he inconvenience her in a way she hadn’t noticed yet? Did she add too much salt by accident? The recipe definitely said to add a lot of salt though.

“Weak.” Mafioso said, and a faint thump sound could be heard. 1x didn’t look up from where she was focusing her glare at the table. Azure said “Not all of us kill our tastebuds by smoking 500 cigarettes a day.”

“One time. That was one time.” She should hide all his cigarettes somewhere. Or maybe flush them down the toilet.

TheSpectre had already fixed the lamp and the window the others had apparently broken earlier. So if the zipper wasn’t fixed by tomorrow…

“1x—” John Doe started.

snap!

Oh. 1x1 didn’t even notice they’d been holding a fork. Whoops. She looked towards John Doe, silently waiting for the rest of his sentence.

“…never mind.”

Later… at 5:18am the next day:

1x was going to hunt down the spectre and kill it slowly. Somehow. It fixed the friken fork in the kitchen but not her zipper.

1x knocked on Azure’s door. Then knocked some more. “what..” The purple killer seemed to be half asleep still. ‘I need something to beat up for stress relief.’ 1x signed.

“Why m—ohhhh..” Azure nodded and stepped aside. “Go ahead, it’s in the bathtub right now.” 1x made his way into the plant filled room and grabbed the hat. Azure closed the door behind 1x.

“Thanks for getting me out of that bathtub.” 1x made her way to the kitchen, a fact the hat seemed to notice. “WAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT! I wasn’t even caught doing anything this time!” 1x stomped on the hat a few times to squeeze out the water, then placed the hat inside the microwave oven and set it for 1 and a half minutes. Then retrieved some arrows from the broom closet. (Which stored no brooms. C00lkidd kept setting them on fire somehow.)

1x spent the next 10 minutes practicing shooting arrows. The hat did not have fun, but it had no say in the activity. 1x returned the hat to Azure afterwards.

—

This round’s killer is… 1x1x1x1!

“Is it me or—” Chance tried to dodge a mass infection, “or is 1x more neon today?” Elliot screamed in the distance. “THEY’RE ANGRIER TODAY AND CHANCE STOP JUST STANDING THERE HELP ME!” Chance missed his shot. By a lot. This was so unfair. A round at 5 am with 5 half awake survivors and 1 very angry killer.

…

Noob yawned as they finished the last generator. There. Then they looked at the timer. Still at four minutes. Wait— 4? They looked again. Oh, good. There was only a minute and 15 seconds left.

Wait.

—

“Is she still mad?” John Doe whisper-asked Noli, who shrugged. 1x was, in fact, still angry. The zipper had not magically been repaired after 1x won their round. Also—why was she the only person to actually do anything? 1x1x1x1 cooked and washed the dishes, cleaned, did the laundry, and was the main babysitter for the kids.

That realization only further worsened 1x1’s mood. 1x threw down the sponge and stormed off to the survivor’s cabins. Hopefully Dusekkar or Builderman could fix his zipper.

—

“Thanks for the zipper fix.” 1x said as quickly as possible. Builderman nodded. “I’m going to… head back now.” An update message appeared.

[All killers will be teleported to the survivor’s cabins in one minute for a quick renovation.]

“Oh, Hey Taph!” 1x waved to the demolitionist. “👋” Taph waved back.

1x grabbed some potato chips from the pantry and sat down just as the other killers got teleported. 1x1x1x1 should make a chores list, so then she won’t be the only person doing any work.

[The killers will be teleported back in the morning.]

Elliot sighed, “Me and Noob can share a room. I have a couch in my room anyways.”

“You don’t want to sleep with me?”

“The last time we had to share I couldn't sleep because you kept flipping your stupid fyckass coin in your sleep. So no. I don’t.”

Taph was sharing with Dueskkar, Chance and Guest were sharing. Two Time was with Azure. 007n7 was sharing with Noli and C00lkidd, Mafioso and his minions got one room, while Pr3typriincess and Bluudud shared with their respective parents. Jason got to sleep alone, and 1x and John Doe were left having to share.

There was no couch in the room they borrowed.

“I say you sleep on the floor.” 1x said, half joking.

—

They played games all night until everyone was too tired to go on. Then they went to bed.

1x ended up sharing the bed with John Doe because the man had promised to cook all the lunches and clean for the next month.

1x1x1x1 turned off the light and got into the bed. Which had a mattress, by the way.

“Goodnight.” 1x1x1x1 said, then turned away and closed her eyes.

“Goodnight.” John Doe replied. Then a few moments later he asked, “Aren’t you gonna kiss me goodnight?”

“Wha— No!! People already think we’re gay or straight or whatever!! I’m not going to give the others anything else to build assumptions on!” 1x sighed and added on, “Besides you have a wife, I think it’d count as cheating.”

“I don’t think she’d mind, kisses can be platonic.” John Doe said, “And besides, the whole point of sharing a bed is so we can kiss each other good night and cuddle each other in our sleep!”

“Are you hearing yourself right now?” 1x demanded, for goodness’s sake she just wanted some sleep. “What? Did your parents kiss you goodnight every night until you left for college or whatever?”

“Yes.” John Doe shamelessly. Maybe getting kissed goodnight was normal or something, not like 1x would know. (Dammit Bitchletsky) He looked unreasonably upset when 1x2 didn’t reply. Was this the same man that babysat the children and calmed her down during her fits of rage and hatred? If people weren’t themselves when hungry, did that apply to sleepiness? “… you can be the little spoon.”

“... ugh, fine stop giving me those eyes.” 1x gave in. It was just a one time thing anyways. “Come closer, I’m not moving for something as ridiculous as this.” The smile that manifested on John Doe’s face was almost worth all the trouble.

“Psst—”

“What now?”

“I’m glad you're in a better mood.”

“…Thanks, I guess.”

Chapter Text

My new AU because the lore for Noli changed:

Noli is still whatever he is in new lore (some god thing), but decided to try out normal college life because of all the dramas. That's where he met 007n7 who, at the time, wasn't doing really bad exploits. Only small ones for fun.

Noli and 007n7 became friends and they started doing more... dramatic exploits together. Noticeable stuff. News worthy stuff.

Then when C00lkidd was left on 007n7's doorstep, he quit exploiting. Noli was not happy about this and spent the better part of a year being petty and passive aggressive. Then Noli realized that if he made himself a parental figure in the kid's life, there was a chance that he and 007n7 could be more than best friends.

After this realization he started visiting more often, even helping take care of the baby. And when 007n7 was looking for jobs, it was Noli who helped him land interviews.

Eventually, C00lkidd grew up and Noli (unfortunately, according to him) had grown to like the kid. 007n7 offhandedly mentioned the void star (someone at work mentioned how powerful it apparently was), and Noli decided to get it to impress 007n7.

Getting the star took longer than expected, and by the time he came back, 007n7 was dead and C00lkidd was missing. Noli was not doing very well after this, and started to revert back to old ways. (Attention seeking and drugs or whatever)

When he was kidnapped by the spectre, he realized that the games were a way to be the star of a show. Then he saw that 007n7 was a survivor in the rounds and his goals shifted a bit.

Chapter Text

“You all have 10 seconds to give me an explanation on why I was woken up at 3 in the morning.” 1x said as she walked outside where everyone was meeting. Except for Noli and Mafioso for some reason.

“Shhh…” Elliot shushed 1x1. Which was very rude, especially since 1x valued their ability to talk. She moved to shove him, but stopped when she saw Jason besides someone new.

“Who’s that? Why do they look like Mr. Jason?" C00lkidd asked, looking to 1x for answers she did not have. 1x1 shrugged and looked to John Doe who also shrugged.

“Jason wanted to do something special with his replacement, I think. It somehow involves most of us.” Builderman said, still in his pajamas. Shedletsky was still hugging his fried chicken body pillow, and Chance was flipping his coin. Taph looked the exact same, and Dusekkar had on his night pumpkin.

“Ki ki ma ki ma.” Jason explained his elaborate prank idea, which (almost) everyone immediately agreed to, including the new guy, whose name was Slasher apparently. “Ki ki ma ma ki ma.”

—

“Is 17 ju$t m3 or d03s J4s0n lo0k diff3r3n7 t0d4y?” Noli asked as he entered the main cabin.

“Who’s Jason?” Azure asked, lowering his botany book. Noli looked towards Slasher, who gave a small wave to the purple killers before continuing this game of solitaire. “Oh. That’s slasher, he’s always looked like that. Noli, I thought you quit c–.”

“N0– I’m n0t h1gh!!” Noli interrupted Azure, who frowned “1 sw34r h15 n4m3 w@s J4s0n, a-4nd h3 d3f1n17ely lo0k3d d1ff3r3nt!!” Noli’s usually glitchy voice was even worse now in his frustration. 1x1x1x1 took great satisfaction in this fact. Schadenfreude, it was called.

“What’s all this commotion?” John Doe asked, ducking his head to enter the cabin. “Oh, hey 1x.” 1x1 waved at John Doe— who returned the gesture— then went back to reading Elliot’s book. It was one titled How to count cards and other Gambling cheats to baffle your opponents.

“Noli broke his clean streak and is insisting that Slasher used to look different.” Azure said, picking his book back up. “I say that we stage an intervention. For his own good.”

“Noli.” John Doe sighed, shaking his head. “You really have to stop with the drugs.” Then he turned to Slasher, who was cheating at solitaire. “Slasher.” The masked killer looked over, “Don’t give Noli anything for the next week or so, he needs to clear his system. This is a concerning amount of confusion.”

“Ki ki.” Slasher said, nodding slowly. He went back to his game.

At that moment, Mafioso walked in, saw slasher, and promptly walked out after saying, “I’m too sober for this.” 1x watched as he pulled 10 cigarettes out and lit them all at once. She looked at the fireplace. Hmm.

—

“Ja– 1 m34n– Sl4sh3r… Y0u’r3 l1k3 7he b3st t34m4te t0 ev3r ex1st c0uld 1 pl34se–”

“Oh my gosh, for the love of everything holy I swear on all my daddy’s eight magic swords– Stop sucking on his toes!!” Noli had been pestering Slasher all afternoon for happy-powder.

“Wh3t.” Noli was stunned into silence. A win, though temporary.

“Is that not the saying?” 1x frowned as John Doe shook his head, “Stop rubbing his knees.” She tried, and John Doe shook his head again. “Stop kissing his feet.” Not that, okaaayyyy. “Stop smooching his butt.” Not that, then. This was getting ridiculous. Why was everyone so nitpicky about the phrasing anyway? “Whatever the phrase is, stop doing it!! It’s getting really annoying.”

“I think you mean ‘stop sucking up to him.’” John Doe suggested. “Or maybe ’stop buttering him up’? Or just ‘shut up’?”

“The first one. I was trying to say that.” 1x1x1x1 paused for a moment of self reflection before saying, “Wow I was way off.” Miles off, maybe even Galaxies off. What had they said again? Kissing his feet? Waaay off.

“Sucking his toes…” Azure repeated, “That is amazing. I’ll have to use it somehow.” The hat did not comment on this. Likely because it was in the washing machine. Along with everyone’s washing-machine-safe shoes.

Mafioso came in at that moment. “Whoose sucking whose toes?” He asked, “Cause that is disgusting. Also has anyone seen my cigarette packs? I can’t find any.”

“Nope.” 1x popped the p. “And if I do see them, I'll flush them down the toilet, so you might want to find them fast.” Mafioso scowled and went to look for his packs again. 1x1 had taken them and used them as fuel for the survivor’s cabin. Hopefully nothing too bad happened to them.

—

Noli found another way to forget everything, much to a lot of people’s disappointment.

“I wish I could get h/gh” 1x1 sighed. “This is so unfair. The most alcohol or drugs do for me is make me bad at decision making. I don’t even get to feel happy or whatever.”

“7h4t $ucKs m4n.” Noli said, downing his 3rd bottle of liquor in seconds. (Author is underaged so this may be unrealistic.) He frowned. “Or w0m4n. Or p3r$0n I gu3s$.” John Doe was still on his first bottle, and the kids were all in bed. It was almost midnight, after all.

“Try not to go too crazy on the alcohol.” 1x1x1x1 suggested to Noli, who was somehow already done with another bottle. “Death by alcohol poisoning is bound to be mortifyingly embarrassing.”

“B1g w0rd$ f0r such 4 sm4ll p3rs0n.” Noli commented, words slightly slurred.

“I bet I'd be a lot taller if I was hanging from the ceiling.” 1x1 snapped back. Noli would never taste the crunchiness of a corn chip ever again. Not after that comment. Not after today. Not on her watch.

“1x!” John Doe sounded appalled. Good for him, he still had a sense of righteousness or something along those lines. “What?” 1x asked, “It’s true isn’t it?” 1x took a small sip from his glass. Ew. It didn't even taste good.

“D4mn.” Noli said after a few moments of silence. Azure poked his head through the door. “Hey it got real quiet in here. Is anything wrong?”

“No.” 1x1x1x1 said, deciding to drink the whole glass in one big sip. “I’m going to bed. This day has been a trainwreck at best, and a plane on fire about to crash land and sink into Point Nemo at best.”