Archive of Our Own ^beta

Loki reintegrated into life at the TVA much  quicker than anyone expected. After all, it was assumed that spending eternity weaving together all of Time had rather earned him his retirement. Yet, almost immediately, he insisted on being included in missions, prepping new hunters for fieldwork, and even assisting with the most tedious research. In fact, he’d made himself damn near indispensable. 

Ordinarily, he attached himself to Mobius but if for any reason he couldn’t, he was guaranteed to be found either trailing B-15 or tinkering with O.B. and Casey down in R&A. Everyone was so happy to see him that no one questioned his insistent proximity, nor his recent proclivity to keep in, or near, physical contact with someone at all times.

On the very rare occasions he wound up separated from all of them, he was known to chat up the first soul he came across and stick close until they tracked down one of his friends. (In these instances, he was always found to be trembling slightly but he remained in high spirits, so no one ever mentioned it.)

Even while they were safe at home Loki followed Mobius from room to room, like a puppy with separation anxiety. He filled the silence with endless chatter, almost as though he might suffocate otherwise. Mobius didn’t mind; after spending so long alone, it felt like making up for lost time.

And if Loki chose to never let him out of his sight, it was all the better for Mobius. Actually, he thought it was kind of cute.

Until the day they all lost track of him.

Mobius had left him with B early that day. She’d needed Loki’s advice on some complex new anomalies that had cropped up and Mobius had been called away to assist with the extraction of a particularly sensitive Kang variant. B had, later, split up with Loki at the elevator, after giving very clear instructions to a wide-eyed analyst to accompany him down to Repairs and Advancements.

They did not get that far. They had passed him off to a hunter who’d stepped into the lift, whose designation they could not for the life of them recall, but who had assured them he was going down to R&A anyway.

But neither Casey nor O.B. had seen anyone else since the previous day. 

Mobius wasn’t sure whose anger was more palpable, his or B’s, but the failed escort cowered before them both, regardless.

It may not have been fair but it felt justified, at the time. It wasn't as though the wider TVA was responsible for the mental well-being of their very own Lord and Savior. But Mobius thought they should at least be eager to spend a little time with the being who gave them literally all of his (so that they might even have a desk to scurry back to, the ingrates.)

At last, Mobius made his way to Lodgings, hoping beyond hope that maybe he would return to the apartment and find Loki sitting on the sofa with a cup of tea and an easy smile.

… There was no smile. Or tea.

But he did indeed find Loki perched on the loveseat, hands bunched into fists atop the armrests. The room was dark, but there was enough ambient light to see that his eyes were glassy and vacant and, though he was sitting ramrod straight, he was shivering so hard that Mobius worried, for a second, that he might have a fever. He gently called out, then cautiously drew nearer. Loki took no notice of him.

Mobius didn’t want to startle him, but he also wished to free him from his apparently torturous reverie. So, he very delicately took the quaking god in his arms… and he waited. At some point, his own body took up a pendulous motion, subconsciously rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. He brought one hand up to the crown of Loki’s head and carefully combed his fingers through the tousled curls there.

That, at last, earned him a strangled gasp.

Arms snaked around him with all the strength of a python and Mobius clutched Loki tight against his chest as he keened. It was heart wrenching. 

It was also wonderous; Mobius marveled, now, at this being Loki’s first real breakdown after… well, everything - despite being arguably the most in need. He, himself, had already had three so far (and was currently fighting off a fourth.)

The God of All Time wept so fiercely that he seemed unable to even catch his breath. Mobius found himself, in response, breathing deliberately slow and deep, as if he could make up for the lack of oxygen somehow. Or else that Loki might, perhaps, follow his lead. Meanwhile, he continued to stroke his hair and whisper soothing nonsense.

Loki was inconsolable. He shook to absolute pieces in Mobius’ arms and when Mobius lowered himself to sit and drew Loki down to rest against him, his God complied with very little of the dignity and grace befitting the title. But that was okay with Mobius. It wasn’t the God he’d been missing all this time, it was the man. It was his friend. And he would hold his friend together for as long as he needed.

It was a very long time before he calmed. Mobius continued to diligently keep watch until well after he was sure Loki was no longer awake; until, at last, his own eyelids began to grow heavy.

Then, suddenly, Loki said:

“Mobius.”

Mobius jolted. Loki had to clear the roughness from his throat before he spoke again, asking lightly:

“Did I wake you?”

“No,” Mobius assured him quickly, with a squeeze. “But I thought you were asleep.” He gazed down at him with a frown and brushed away a few errant locks. “What is it?”

Loki pulled himself upright with a deep inhale. He scrubbed his face, then took both of Mobius’ hands in his own and finally met his eyes, mournfully.

“I never had the chance to apologize.” 

Mobius very nearly laughed in surprise. “Loki… you never have to apologize to me about anything.”

“I abandoned you when you needed me...”

It occurred to Mobius that he could have been talking about any number of moments long forgotten in the distant past. But none of them mattered. They were both here now.

“Loki-“

“That day I followed after Sylvie.”

Oh. Mobius wasn’t sure he was ready for that conversation. He swallowed and tried again.

“Loki, I don’t care about what happened at the Roxxcart, you did what you had to do-”

“Not that one.” Loki took in another lungful of air, held it a beat, then he let it back out. “That last day, when we left Timely and O.B. working on the loom enhancements.” 

And then Mobius wished he could pretend he didn’t know what was coming, but the flush rising up the back of his neck probably gave him away. “You suggested pie and Sylvie… said some very cruel things. And for just a moment…” Loki closed his eyes against fresh tears, his breaths growing harsh, “… for just a single second… I felt like maybe she was right.”

Once more he lifted his lacrimal gaze and Mobius also found his own face wet, yet again. He didn’t really want to be reliving any of this, but he decided to allow Loki to finish. 

“I knew immediately that was wrong,” he went on miserably, “and I told her as much when I caught up to her. But after that… everything else just happened so fast. I never got the chance to-…”

Mobius stopped him then. He took Loki’s face in his hands and swiped both cheeks with his thumbs. He brought their lips together, briefly, tenderly. Then he said: “I know.”

Loki’s brow furrowed in confusion but Mobius didn’t give him the chance to ask.

“Sylvie told me. She said you really chewed her out. Said you were pretty upset on my behalf,” he couldn’t help the smirk creeping into his voice there. Loki’s ears turned adorably pink. “I thought it was sweet.” But the tears hadn’t stopped and it was Mobius’ turn to be puzzled. “Has that been bothering you all this time?”

Loki turned a little in Mobius’ palm, as if to hide. “I regretted it for all of eternity,” he murmured. “It was such a-a brief moment, but I couldn't do anything to erase that one instant of doubt. I kn- I know that I hurt you. I had to see it on your face every time I relived it, over and over and over. And I n-never got to tell you how sorry I am that I didn’t stay with you, that day.”

Mobius laid his forehead against Loki’s. He was quiet for a while, before he finally sighed. “… I wish I could take away everything bad that’s ever happened to you... But, Loki, you’re a hero. You’re the Savior of the Multiverse.” Mobius poured all of his awe into that sentiment, but Loki’s breath hitched and sobbed. When he spoke, it was with anguish:

“I only ever wanted to save you.”

“But you did, Loki,” Mobius replied fervently. ”You did.”

“You literally slipped right through my fingers, Mobius. Because of my selfishness in wanting so badly to keep you, I lost you over and over and over again.” He dissolved into tears once more. “The o-only way for me to save you w-was to let you go.”

Mobius pulled him close again and they gripped each other tight, weeping softly and whispering assurances.

“I’m here now. I’ve got you.”

“Mobius. I love you. I love you.” 

Loki said it again and again, like he couldn’t help himself. And Mobius peppered his face with kisses and replied “I love you,” each and every time.

“I don’t want to be alone any more,” his God admitted, tremulously.

“You’re not,” he answered gently. “You’re here now. We’re both here now.”

“Stay with me.”

“I will,” Mobius promised, and nothing could prevent him from keeping his word. “For all of Time.”

Loki shifted a little to peer up at him, eyes puffy and cheeks red. Mobius had never seen anything more beautiful. His heart swelled with the miracle of having him so close in that moment.

“… always?”

“Always.”