Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

On August 23rd, Laura woke up before her dad. Logan was always up before sunrise, either shaking off a nightmare or years of military habits forcing him awake. He also enjoyed making breakfast for everyone. So when she found Wade in the kitchen instead of her dad, she knew something was off. 

“Where’s Dad?”

“In bed.” Wade took a sip of his coffee and grimaced. “He makes coffee better than I do.”

Laura tapped her fingers on the counter. “Is he okay?”

Wade sighed and set his cup down. “I keep a track of all my bad pain days, and I started keeping one of your dad's when he first moved in. He was like this the same day last year.”

“It can’t be the pain though, can it?”

The merc shrugged. “Don’t know. Since he started the shots, the bad days have been more like ‘I feel like crap but I can still do shit’ days. This makes me think it’s someone’s birthday. Charles, maybe?”

“Does he not like remembering their birthdays?”

Wade thought for a moment, taking another sip of his coffee before realizing it sucked ass. “When he first moved in he had lots of days like this- wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t move. He wouldn’t talk. I’ve learned the best thing I can do is give him space until he’s ready.”

Laura considered this before shaking her head. “I’m going to go talk to him. Try not to burn the house down when you make breakfast.”

“Duly noted, little Peanut.”

Laura turned and headed to Logan and Wade’s room, which was only a few feet from the kitchen. She didn’t bother knocking, instead opened the door and saw a mass under the covers. Laura closed the door behind her and climbed into bed, pulling the blanket over her. 

“‘M not hungry Wade.”

“Well it’s a good thing I’m not Wade.” 

Her dad rolled over, his eyes wide in surprise. “Hey Laur. What are you doing here?”

She snuggled in close and he naturally draped his arm over her. “Worried about you.”

Logan sighed through his nose and rested his chin on her head. “Don’t gotta be worried about me, Bub.”

“You’re sad.”

“I am.”

“Can you tell me why?”

He shifted and forced his eyes away from her. “I haven’t even told Wade.”

“I won’t tell.”

Logan smiled at her and began to talk.

Chapter Text

Logan had lost track of his birthdays. When you were over two hundred years old, birthdays lost their meaning around fifty. Wade, on the other hand, loved birthdays. He was in his late forties and had to have a birthday cake every year. Wade tried to celebrate Logan’s birthday and that went…less than great. 

“Surprise!” Wade had exclaimed, popping a confetti popper. Logan’s claws came out at lightning speed and he promptly stabbed Wade in his fear. 

They hadn’t really brought up birthdays since. 

Birthdays were also something Logan didn’t want to remember. Sometimes the date of a dead X-Man’s birthday would creep up on him and Logan would spend the day in bed, trying to keep his depression from making him drink or kill himself. They weren’t as bad as pain days and Wade understood, having those dark days of his own. 

But this was different. When they adopted Nellie they got all the information that was available about her. She had regenerative abilities, her mother was of Afghan descent, her real name is Penelope, and her birthday landed in the middle of September. Precisely September 15th. 

When Wade woke up on September 15th, he knew it was Nellie’s birthday, and thought that it would be another day with the four of them- breakfast, time in the park, lunch from a kiosk, nap time, dinner and a movie. But he woke up to the smell of something sweet. Logan often woke up early, so it wasn’t strange for him to make the family pancakes. 

Wade stumbled out in his Hello Kitty slippers and saw Logan in the kitchen with Nellie in one of those baby carriers on his back. The older man was mixing frosting in a bowl, his arms looking so obscenely delicious that Wade almost asked him to put them away. 

“What are you and Bean up to?” Wade leaned on the counter, peering into the mixing bowl. The icing was pink. 

“Making a cake.” There was flour on Logan’s forehead and his fingernails were stained bright red. The image was jarring, yet comforting. Nearly two years ago, Logan was covered in grime and blood. Now it’s cake batter. ‘

“For Bean?”

“And Laur.”

“Laura? Is it her birthday too? What a coincidence.”

Logan put down his spoon and wiped his hands on his pants. “Laura doesn’t know her birthday. Growing up as an experiment didn’t really lend itself to birthday parties.” His face soured and Wade could see the anger about Laura’s past building behind his eyes. “As far as she knows, she’s probably eighteen.”

“Are we designating today as Laura’s birthday?”

Logan took his finger and swiped the bowl, presenting it to Wade. “Why not?”

Wade gladly licked the icing off of his finger. “That’s good. When did you learn how to make frosting?”

“You live two centuries and you pick up stuff.”

“I can’t wait to be smart like you, grandpa.”

Logan rolled his eyes, smiling. He opened the oven and took out a circular cake. He let it sit on the stovetop. “Let this chill for a bit. Do not eat it.”

“Why would you assume I would eat it?”

“Laura made cookies and you ate all of them.”

“In my defense, I saw free cookies.”

Nellie peered around Logan’s wide shoulders and grinned. She reached out her hands. “Pa! Pa!” 

Wade lifted her from the baby carrier and spun her around, reveling in her joyous giggles. It was times like these that he couldn’t believe it was real. At one point he thought he’d never have a family and now he had a step-daughter and a baby who called him “Pa”. All the “what ifs” that haunted him during his breakup from Vanessa no longer kept him up. He used to imagine a kid that had his eyes and her nose. Now his vision has changed to a baby girl with olive skin and dark brown eyes.

He once asked Logan, before Laura moved in and they were sneaking around, if he ever wanted kids. Logan had this faraway look in his eyes. It was a rare moment of vulnerability that occurred around their second time ever having sex. 

“ If I found someone, Victor made sure they didn’t stick around,” he said, avoiding Wade’s gaze. “When I got away and found Kayla…I wanted to. She wanted to. I wanted a family. But I already hurt Kayla with my nightmares. What would happen if I heard a baby in the middle of the night and didn’t know where I was? Besides, I’m practically immortal. I’d be subject to watching my whole family die.”

“...Did Kayla ever bring it up?”

Logan went quiet for a moment before speaking again. “She was pregnant, about four years in. Lost the baby.” His voice was shaking and shame burned his cheeks. “Think it was my fault. Baby had some mutant shit that wasn’t working with her body.”

Wade sat up in the bed, the blanket falling away from his chest. “Do you really believe that?”

“Believe what?”

“That is was your fault?”

Logan remained laying down, staring at the ceiling. “I’m too dangerous for a baby, Wade. I’m too dangerous for most people.”

Wade could see the man blinking back tears. They were just starting to share these types of things to each other- the air felt thick for both of them. The merc laid back down and moved over Logan, kissing his lips tenderly. “You’re not too dangerous for me.” 

Nellie hung from Wade’s arms, ever delighted to be with her dads. “What else needs to be done?” Wade asked, trying to keep the baby from crawling out of his arms. “Is Laura up yet?”
Logan shook his head. “She should be up in a few. I told her that the two of you were going out today.”

“We are?”

Nellie’s eyes went wide and she reached for the icing bowl. Logan picked her up and settled her on his hip. “Yes. You’re going to go shopping and have some fun while Nel and I get everything set up here. Plan to be back around five.” 

“Woah! When did you plan all this, Mr-I-Don’t-Do-Birthdays?”

“A few days ago. I know you can’t keep a secret.”

“What?!”

“You told Laura that we were engaged as soon as she woke up the next morning.”

“Touche.” Wade pulled himself up on the counter next to the mixing bowl. Nellie was tugging gently on Logan’s long hair as he went back to work, pulling out sprinkles from the closet. Wade couldn’t tear his eyes away from him. 

Logan finally noticed him and looked up. “What?” 

“You’re so irresistible.”

“I’m covered in cake batter.”

“Your hair’s so long. You should keep growing it so you can pull it in a man bun.” Wade practically salivated at the thought. Logan would look even sexier with a man bun. 

Logan smirked and opened his mouth to respond with something obscene when Laura bounded down the stairs. “Where’s the birthday girl?” She asked. Nellie brightened at the sight of her sister and reached for her. Laura planted a wet kiss on her cheek and turned to Wade. “Ready to go?”

“Apparently. Your dad has the whole day planned.”

Logan kissed the top of Laura’s head and pecked Wade’s lips. “You two have a fun day, be back by five.”

“Wait, I have to get ready!” Wade looked down at his Hello Kitty slippers. “These bad boys weren’t made for the streets!” 

“You have five minutes.” Laura crossed her arms and showed Wade her watch. “I’ll be counting. And no weapons.”

“Fuck you mean, no weapons? I’m always carrying a weapon.”

Laura furrowed her brows. “Where?”

Wade’s eyes found the imaginary camera behind her. “You don’t wanna know.”

Chapter Text

The city was still warm, trapping all the summer heat for a few more weeks. In his hurry, the dagger strapped to Wade’s thigh shifted dangerously towards cutting his leg open. This wasn’t a huge concern, but he was wearing Logan’s tight ass jeans and didn’t want to slave away over laundry. 

Laura stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and turned to Wade. “I have to stop somewhere,” she said. It was the first thing she had said since they left the house. “I got something for Dad.”

Wade shrugged. “Alright. Where are we going?”

“It’s a jewelry store.”

“Did you get your dad a necklace? Believe me, I tried it with the whole necklace and earrings thing. He doesn’t prefer wearing that sort of stuff. Now skirts-”

“We aren’t talking about what my dad doesn’t or doesn’t like. You know, as Nellie gets older, you’re going to need a better filter.”

“Believe me, little Peanut, this is my filter. If I removed it, I would be talking about how I mastur-”

“LA LA LA!” Laura clapped her hands over her ears. “Shut the fuck up! Why do you always have to make everything gross?”

Wade giggled, not responding. They arrived at the jewelry shop. Laura turned her head sharply to Wade. “Stay here. I’ll be back.”

She went in and Wade was left alone on the sidewalk. This wasn’t an issue. ADHD was like having three friends in your brain. By the time Laura came out, there was a sidewalk band going on- three homeless men joining Wade in a cacophony of trash can banging and off key whistling. Laura paused with a little bag in hand, unable to comprehend the chaos occurring. 

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Jamming!” Wade kicked a trash can and mimicked holding a guitar. “Wanna join in?”

“No.” She grabbed him by the arm and dragged him away. “I’m hungry. Let’s go eat.”

“Let me say bye to my friends!” 

“No!” 

There was only so long Wade could wait before curiosity got the best of him. Curiosity killed the cat but this cat was fucking immortal, so haha bitch. He finished his chimichanga with astonishing speed and waited not so patiently for Laura to finish as well. 

She was just like her father- quiet, calculated, observant. None of her actions were ever random, even her movements were plotted carefully. Laura wiped her mouth with her napkin and folded it. 

“Logan does the same thing.” Wade motioned to her plate. “He always folds his napkin onto the plate.”

Laura propped her head on her fist. “You’ve been looking at the bag the entire time.”

“I have not.”

“Have to.”

“Okay, I have. Can you blame a girl for being curious? What did you get your dad? This can’t be a birthday gift, his birthday is in October. Unless it’s an early gift. But you know that he doesn’t care about his birthday, so maybe it’s for Christmas.”

Laura shook her head, her dark hair falling from her ponytail. “It’s something I wanted to get for Dad.” She opened the bag and pulled out a dog tag- similar to the ones Logan and Wade had collected over the years. Instead of a soldier’s information, on it were three names: Sarah, Laura, and Nellie.

Wade frowned. “Sarah…who’s…? Who’s Sarah?” He turned it over and found his name beside Logan’s. The merc looked up from the necklace, puzzled. “Who’s Sarah?”

She opened her mouth before closing it again. “Dad hasn’t told you yet.”

He ran his thumb over the name. It came before Laura’s. If there was to be any other name on the tag, he would’ve expected Marie’s. “Someone he lost?”

Laura nodded solemnly. “August 23rd.”

Wade felt his heart stop for a moment. “August 23rd…it wasn’t a bad pain day then. Is that when she died?”

She hesitated before nodding again. He handed the dog tag back to her. “I’m going to give it to him tonight,” Laura said, tucking it back into the bag. “Tonight seemed appropriate.” She reached across the table and held Wade’s hand. “Make sure you talk to him tonight. I think he’s ready to tell you.”

Wade squeezed her hand. 

Chapter Text

Laura burst into tears at the sight of her name on the cake. The cake was pink and the writing was a little wonky, but legible. Happy Birthday Nel and Laur. She hugged Logan and didn’t let him go for five minutes. She’d never had a birthday, much less a cake. They all sat around the table and watched as Nellie smeared icing all over her face and played with her food. The cake was good and Laura tried to savor every bite. She had to enjoy her first birthday, after all. 

“Does this make me nineteen or twenty?” She asked as they cleaned up, wiping Nellie’s mess off the table. 

Logan just smiled. “Whatever you want, Bub. How old do you feel?” 

She thought for a moment, and then grinned. “Nineteen. I think I’ll wait another year to be twenty.” From her jean pocket, she removed the dog tag. “This is for you. I didn’t want to wait until Christmas.”

Logan gently took the dog tag and read the names. He blinked a couple of times and cleared his throat. He raised it above his head and put it on, the tag falling below his collarbone. Logan took a step forward and engulfed Laura in a hug. They remained like that for a moment or two before letting go and returning to their work. Emotions were coming easier for both of them, but when words failed the silence was just as comforting.

Wade sat with Nellie in the living room, holding her in his arms. She crashed out from her first sugar high. There were a few presents; some books and stuffed animals for Nel. Laura had recently expressed interest in knitting, so they got her some needles and yarn. Finding Nemo, the movie that helped Nel calm down, was playing on the TV. 

Laura walked over to the pair and yawned. “I’m going up. Want me to take her?”

“Sure.” Wade handed the baby over to his step daughter. “Happy birthday, little Peanut. We love you.”

She settled Nellie against her chest. “Thanks Wade. Goodnight, Dad.”

“‘Night honey. Sleep well.” 

Laura carefully made her way up the stairs, leaving the two older men downstairs.  Logan sat down on the couch next to Wade, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. 

“I love you,” Logan mumbled, shifting so he could get closer. He trailed kisses from Wade’s mouth to his jaw.

Wade ran his hands over Logan’s chest, his fingers slipping under his shirt. They touched something cold and Wade immediately stopped. He needed to know. 

Logan sensed his hesitation and moved away. His face was etched with worry and it broke Wade’s heart. “Did I do something wrong? Are you okay?”

In a rare moment of self control, the merc took a moment to choose his words carefully. After running through five scenarios, he settled on the easiest: “Who’s Sarah?”

His husband’s face fell and Logan’s hands went to the dog tag. “I should’ve told you sooner.” 

“Probably, but I won't judge.” He reached out and placed his hand reassuringly on Logan’s cheek. “I don’t need to know everything. I just want to know. She’s obviously important enough to include her name with our girls.” 

Logan swallowed and nodded his head. “I need a smoke.”

Chapter Text

Wade liked smoking with Logan. It was relaxing and required no effort from either of them. He was grateful for it now, when the subject at hand was obviously making Logan nervous. They sat in silence for about thirty minutes before the mutant blew out a puff of smoke and put the cigar out on his hand. Wade didn’t feel that it was the right time to tell Logan he didn’t need to do that anymore. They were sitting on the stairs of their duplex, headlights blinding them as cars drove by. 

“I told you that Kayla was pregnant.” Logan’s low voice broke through the silence. He let the sentence linger before continuing and dread filled Wade’s stomach. 

When he found out, he picked her up and spun her around like she weighed nothing. He was fucking terrified. His own father was a monster. His brother was a nightmare. But maybe, just maybe this would be okay. No, it had to be okay. 

Everything was going to work out because he had her and their future together. She wanted a future with him. That was the craziest bit of all. 

He tried not to be too excited in the first month. He was itching to be useful and take care of her. They had talked about it for a year now and the first few times didn’t make it to the second month. When the second month rolled around the air was lighter. He started building a crib. It was going to be the best thing he’d ever build, he just knew it. He didn’t tell her, he wanted it to be a surprise. 

Month three came and went, the first signs of something out of the ordinary appearing. He barely got any sleep and slept with his arms tight against his chest. He wasn’t going to ruin this. He wouldn’t ruin this. She showed him every time her bump got slightly bigger and tried to explain all the feelings she was having. He wanted to hear all of it. 

He started the nursery in the fourth month, painting the walls a light green and moving in his secret project. She wasn’t allowed in. While painting flowers he heard her yelp and he raced to her aid. She had a hand on her stomach. She quickly guided his hand and he could feel them. He could feel them moving. Tears sprung to his eyes- something that never happened before he met her. After that, they were both obsessed with watching their little life. 

It was becoming all too real in month five. They started talking about names. His mother was brought up for a second, but he told her that his mother’s name wasn’t the one she went by. She said she liked his mother’s real name. He liked her dad’s name. When she suggested his last name, he had to take a moment to himself- this was real and there was going to be a little person that was half her and half him. His loyal nature and protectiveness became sharper and he wasn’t going to let anything ever happen to them. 

She became convinced their baby was a girl. 

At the end of month six, he came home early from work and immediately sensed something was wrong. He hurried inside and heard her panicked breaths from the bathroom. She was on the floor, face scrunched in pain. Something was wrong. Something was hurting. He picked her up and broke every traffic law to get her to the nearest hospital. Her groans of pain felt like knives in his heart. 

They rushed her inside. She gripped his hand. They determined it was pre-term labor and she needed a c-section. They wasted no second in opening her up. They dressed him in scrubs and hid their work behind a curtain. She was crying. He was trying not to. It was all his fault and he knew it. Something in his fucked up genes ruined everything. He was hurting her. 

He held both of her hands like they were his lifeline. From the corner of his eye, he saw them lift a tiny being. He watched as they struggled to take a breath, blinded by medical lighting. 

“She’s having trouble breathing,” someone said, and they nearly ripped the baby from their mother. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 

She wanted to sit up, to see her baby, but she couldn’t move her legs. She grabbed his hand and with the fiercest look he had ever seen, she said, “go with her.”

As the doctors hurried out with his daughter, he ran to catch up, trailing behind a sea of white coats. Every few seconds, he caught a glimpse; a mask over her mouth, brown fuzz for hair, pink skin, and fluttering eyes that revealed the warm brown eyes of his lover. She was perfect. They rolled her down halls when he saw her little hands flex and then-

He nearly tripped, so stunned by what he saw. Between her knuckles, he could see the very thing he loathed about himself; claws. They were trying to break through. He started to try and speak to the doctors. They wouldn’t know what to do. But the baby could barely breathe and they weren’t paying attention. 

They arrived to a room and promptly slammed the door in his face. He pounded on the door, begging them to let him in. They would see her claws and panic. People like him were monsters, but she couldn’t be a monster. There was nothing wrong with her. She was just different. 

He could hear everything that happened in that room. They were panicking and the beeps of medical devices grew louder. His claws wouldn’t cut through metal, so there was no way to open the door. He rammed his body against it twice but nothing happened. The panic inside the room increased and a sharp drone filled the room. The sound made his heart stop and he ran against the door again. He could hear them counting, applying small amounts of pressure. 

He hit the door again. Everything went quiet. Everything except for the fucking drone. They had five minutes. They had five minutes and they stopped after one. They weren’t even trying. 

The door finally opened and he was met with white coats who appeared impassive. They couldn’t save her. She was too little. Too early. Underlying conditions. The mother had cuts on the inside of her uterus. Something was wrong. 

It was his fault. It was all his fucking fault. Him and his stupid genetics. They had removed her mask. They wrapped her up and wheeled her back to the room where she was born. His eyes never left her. She was so small. She never did anything wrong except be his daughter. 

When they were all reunited, he let his lover cry into his chest. She held their baby in her arms, stroking her cheek. They thought they would have a baby to take home. And they would, but under different circumstances. She thought it was her fault that their baby didn’t make it. He ended that immediately. It was his fault. His genes. His blood. He traced the little nose that was his and sobbed for the first time since he was a boy. He found her little hands and felt the jagged bones of her claws and wept. What ruined his life had killed her, he was sure. He didn’t want them to take her again. 

They were kept another day. They wanted to treat the lesions in her womb, but she refused. It wasn’t killing her. 

He drove them home. 

She opened the door to the nursery he had built and cried even more. The crib was almost finished- it only needed paint. They were so close. She sat down on the floor, the bundle in her arms and cried quietly. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. He went outside and started digging. It was right under a tree, the prettiest tree on their property. He kept digging until he realized he had dug too deep and he had to fill it. 

They buried her under that tree, wrapped in baby blankets they had acquired. All things they wouldn’t need. He went to his shed and made a sign. He tried to make it nice. When he put it in the ground, he saw that she had fallen asleep next to the disturbed dirt. He carried her inside and tucked her into bed. In her hands she clutched a bear he had bought. 

He returned outside, the chill of Canadian nights making him shiver. Alone, he grieved. His body hurt with each tear that fell. He should’ve known this would happen. He should’ve known that something would go wrong. This was payback for the lives he’d taken. For all the damage he’d done. He pulled his knees to his chest, sitting under the tree, next to the wooden sign that read;

Sarah Howlett. 

Logan took Wade’s cigar and inhaled. He had tears running down his cheeks. He blew smoke and sniffed, trying to hide his face. Things began to click in Wade’s head. 

“So… August 23rd is…?”

The mutant coughed and sniffed again. “Sarah’s day.”

Sarah’s day. Not her birthday, not the day she died. Sarah’s day. Wade ran a hand over his face and found that his hands were shaking. He didn’t want to say sorry; it may have happened fifty years ago, but Logan never processed his pain before coming to Wade’s universe. His grief was like his metal bones- sometimes it flared up and he couldn’t move. What else could he say? He’d made peace with his journey with Kayla, but this… “What was she like?”

The question caught Logan off guard. He closed his eyes. “She had brown eyes. Like Kayla’s. Like yours. Like Nel’s.” He opened his eyes. Tears were forming again. “She had a tuft of brown hair.” He let out a shaky breath and curled in on himself even more. “Fuck, she…She was barely alive for five minutes.”

“She’s a fighter,” Wade tried. “Like both your girls.” 

That got a small smile. “I just…I just wish I could’ve held her before she was gone. I wish they had given us that chance…They just took her.”

Wade pursed his lips and cleared his throat. “Do you think…Do you think they-”

“Killed her? Let her die? I do. She had claws from day one. They didn’t stop mutant infantcide until ‘90. Kids born with visible mutations are rare, but…” He sighed. “She was my kid, all right.” 

“They really did that? They killed babies with mutations?”

“Can’t have them polluting the gene pool.” Logan took another drag. He was crying freely now. “I saw her eyes in Nel. When Laura took us to meet her. For a moment, I thought it was my girl.” His fingers shook. Wade took the cigar and put it out on the stairs. “Fuck, Wade, I can’t mess this up. I can’t ruin this.”

Wade scooted closer and rested his hand on the top of Logan’s back. “You’re not going to ruin anything, Lo.”

“You don’t know that. I ruined Sarah before she was even born. It’s my fault she was born early and it’s my fault they didn’t try and save her like actual fucking doctors.” He shook his head and wiped at his eyes. “What if I hurt Nellie? What if I can’t be…All I wanted was the chance to watch Sarah grow up and I have it and I’m terrified. I want to do everything right.”

Wade rested his chin on Logan’s shoulder and twisted his fingers in his hair. “You threw her a birthday party that she won’t even remember. You rescued her from her first kidnapping. You work two days a week so you can take care of her and watch her grow up. You’re doing everything right. We’ve seen some crazy shit go down in the multiverse. Maybe Nellie is Sarah telling you that…that she’s okay.”

Logan squeezed his eyes shut and hiccuped through a broken sob. He forced himself to swallow it and steady his breath. Sometimes it didn’t feel real, this life they had. It felt too fragile for someone like him. He needed to be good enough. He felt it when Nellie looked at him with all the love in her eyes. Logan couldn’t let her down, not like he let down Sarah. Like he let down Laura. Her life of pain was because of him. She was created to be a weapon because of him. 

“I love Bean, and Bean loves me. But damnit, Lo, when Nel sees you, she fucking loves you. You’re her daddy. That’s her whole world. Laura loves you. They both need you, and as long as you try your best, you’ll never do wrong by them.” Wade rubbed his back and kissed his neck. “I’m not telling you to let go of this fear and guilt right now, but focus on all the good that’s happening. Nel’s five seconds away from walking! Laura just turned nineteen. We can’t control everything, no matter how much we want to.” He paused. “And I know, somehow, Sarah felt your love.”

Logan wiped his nose and smiled. “When’d you wise up?”

“I met an asshole about two years ago who was drinking himself to death in a bar. I’ve cleaned up my act since then.”

The older man snorted and leaned into Wade. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Sarah. Laura’s the only person I ever told. I only got that memory back twenty years ago.”

“Pain doesn’t have to be new for it to hurt. Besides, I know you have a hard time talking about the hard things.”

“That’s what she said?”

Wade threw his head back and cackled. “Close! I’m rubbing off on you.”

“That’s okay, I like it.” Logan wriggled his eyebrows.

“Who is this man? Making dirty jokes?” Wade wiped the residue of Logan’s tears on his cheeks. “I love you.”

Logan took a moment to breathe. “I love you, too.” 

Chapter Text

Wade took a deep breath in, smelling the smoke from his guns. It gave him a brief high, like the cheap weed Althea used to buy. He kicked lightly at the man beneath him. 

“I gotta give it up to you, Derek , it was awfully hard to find you. And that’s in Canadian terms.” He adjusted his Deadpool mask and pulled out Baby Knife. “Let me repeat my question: Were you or were you not a baby killer in the seventies? I already know the answer, but if you lie, I might let my little blade here face fuck you until you tell the truth.”

Derek groaned as Wade turned him on his back. The bullet wound in his thigh was gushing blood. 

“Gross,” Wade giggled, pressing his foot down on the wound. “Coming out in little spurts, fucking disgusting. See, you could tell me the truth and anything else I want to know and I’ll let you peacefully bleed out, or, I’ll show my katana so far up your asshole it’ll come out your throat.” Wade paused. “Unless you’re into that. I might be into that. I’ve never tried it.”

“You sick fuck!” Derek rasped. He was an old man with a face full of lines. Wade found him in a cabin all by his lonesome in the Rockies, a little ways from Logan’s house in the seventies. “I never hurt a normal baby!” 

Wade crouched down and cocked his head. The eyes of his mask narrowed. “ Normal baby. That’s interesting. When you say normal, you don’t mean a pre-term baby girl with claws in her hands? She wasn’t normal, was she?” Derek went quiet. Wade sighed loudly and shoved Baby Knife in his bullet wound. The old man screeched and Wade groaned. “Such a drama queen. You think a baby killer wouldn’t be able to feel anything.” 

“We were under government regulations! Any child born with signs of mutations were to be eliminated!” 

“Do you happen to have the name of the dickhead that told you that? I’m sort of on this killing spree where I avenge my husband’s daughter, and it would be so nice to kill the person truly in charge.”

“That baby was killing her mother. She would’ve killed others if she lived.”

“News flash, fucko, her father also has claws. It’s kind of something that people can’t control.”

“Mutant shit!” 

Wade cocked his gun and aimed it between his eyes before Derek could even blink. His voice was low and steady. “Okay, no more playtime. My daughters are mutants. I’m a mutant. My husband is a mutant. The baby you killed was a mutant. So here’s the plan you motherfucker: you’re going to give me any and all information you have. Who was the government regulation from? Where are your medical records? How fucking old are you, you have to be ancient !” 

Derek swallowed. “In my office. The hospital shut down years ago and I kept the files from my time. I don’t know who made the rules, it might be in the paperwork, I don’t know!” 

Wade holstered his gun. “Wait here.”

He picked his way through the house- “a fucking horder lives in here”- and eventually found the office. He pried open the filing cabinet and began sifting through the endless files. He thumbed through them until he found the 1970’s. He finally found ‘74 and threw all the files on the floor. Wade plopped down and sat criss-cross applesauce. He lifted his mask and unwrapped a sucker he’d bought at the Calgary airport. He shuffled through the blank folders until landing on two that were stamped with bright red letters: MUTANT. 

The first one he opened was for a baby boy. He was delivered at forty weeks and born with lungs and gills. The official protocol was to euthanize the child and diagnose them with a heart abnormality or lung problems or blood disease. Essentially, anything that could kill a baby is what they would tell the parents. There was a small photo of the baby. The gills were on the side of his neck. Looking at him made Wade feel ill. He tentatively pushed the folder aside and opened the last one. 

Like the boy with gills, there was a photo of Sarah inside. She was definitely a preemie newborn- face a little pudgy and undefined. They must’ve gotten the photo when Logan lost sight of her and they were “trying to save her”, because her eyes and mouth were open. But as Wade studied the photo, there was no doubt that she was Logan’s. Her nose showed signs that it would grow into one similar to her father’s. Actually seeing her little face made Wade’s heart clench and he was able to understand a miniscule amount of Logan’s grief. 

Her notes were simple; a preterm baby that needed to get under oxygen. Then they realized she had little claws in her hands. Suddenly, her life wasn’t worth saving and they let her suffocate. 

The sucker fell from Wade’s mouth. His hands shook with rage. He plucked the photo from the file and carefully tucked it in his suit pocket. Logan only had her memory, no photos or art. He scanned the document for other names and found the request came from the Canadian Department of Health. Wade folded up the file and stored it away. Derek’s moans of pain had died off, which most likely meant that he had, you know, died off. Wade found that he didn’t care all that much. 

A few days later Wade found a small house that was on a secluded ridge of the Rockies. He found that the door was unlocked. Some animals had obviously made it their new home. The merc made his way to the back and found two bedrooms. One led to a moth-eaten queen bed. The other was a light green room with an unfinished crib. Wade ran his fingers over the wood and tried to steady his beating heart. 

He was deliriously happy in this life he had with Logan, but he couldn’t help but wish that his husband hadn’t experienced such pain in his life. But didn’t Logan feel the same way?

Logan came home unable to breathe. He found himself in Wade’s arms, shaking. The raging monster in him wanted out.

“I found the ruins of the lab,” he gasped. “Where they hurt you.” He wanted to kill every last bastard that hurt Wade. He was going to kill them all. 

That was a month into their official relationship. Logan found one little fucker that had gotten away from Wade’s revenge trip and killed him. 

Wade wouldn’t change anything about his life if it led to where he was now. The torture and cancer sucked ass, but he’s finally happy. Still, there were some things he wished he could change. He wouldn’t have left Vanessa behind, wouldn’t have let her get killed, wouldn’t have kept her in a relationship with him…those things still filled him with guilt. 

Under the tree outside was Sarah’s sign. Wade removed his mask and kneeled. He felt that he had to say something. He took out her photo and stared at it. 

“Hey Sarah. I’m your daddy’s husband. So, you’re technically my spirit step daughter…” Wade sighed and kept going. “Your dad told me about you, and I couldn’t let it go. I’m so sorry you were born into a fucked up world, but I want you to know that your daddy loves you so much. I’m also sorry that you haven’t had any visitors. Now that we know where you are, I’m sure we’ll be up more often.” He put away the photo and admired the woodwork of the sign. Logan did a great job. “I’m not going to let those bastards hurt anymore kids, okay? I promise, Sarah.” 

Wade stood up and put his mask back on, not before wiping his eyes. He had some bad guys to kill. But first, he needed to see his family. 

....

“So how was your trip?” Logan had been waiting at the door. It was the middle of the night. He held a sleeping Nellie. “Did you get the killer?” His voice was quiet so as to not wake her up.

Wade removed his mask and tossed it on the floor. He dug around his suit and found what he was looking for. He held out the photograph to Logan, who took it with his free hand. The mutant’s face fell slightly as he studied the photograph. His eyes flitted between Wade and the baby in the photo. “Wade…how did you-”

“Apparently there are multiple killers,” Wade replied softly. He kissed Logan’s cheek and then Nellie’s head. “I’m heading back out next week to find the rest. I wanted to come home first. Bring you Sarah.” 

Logan blinked back tears- when did he become so emotional? A stable lifestyle with a lack of death and killing will do that to you. He kissed Wade on the lips. “Thank you,” he whispered. 

The merc smiled lightly and nodded towards their room. “I’m going to go shower. Once I’m out, I can take the night shift.”

“Wade, you’ve been traveling-”

“And I can tell you’ve been up all night.” 

Logan adjusted his grip on his baby and the photo and smiled back. “I’m glad you’re home.”