Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Truly… it always starts with a glace which goes on a little too long. That’s how most good queer romances start. If it wasn’t forbidden you wouldn’t be ashamed to come right out and say it. Instead, you stare, longing for the forbidden, thinking you’re the only one, hoping you’re not— hoping they don’t punch you. 

Min Yoongi knew about all of this when he was younger, he let it simmer in the far back of his mind because he was popular. He was cool and funny; he played basketball well, and piano even better. Yoongi knew he was popular because girls would come to watch him play and cheer his name from the bleachers. It was strange, he never really tried to be popular, it just happened. He made little songs and successful rhymes, and most people ate it all up. The jealousy which roared from his friends would scream out in an echo from the change room as Yoongi was pressed against the wall by his new girlfriend’s lips. Girlfriends came and went, friends came and went and Yoongi felt life flutter by like a glissando, or a run away ball, bouncing faster and faster to a roll. He never really understood jealousy, but he did understand longing. A teammate on the basketball team started to return Yoongi’s stares. Yoongi called him out in the middle of the night and kissed him until he couldn’t anymore. They shot hoops, read manga, studied, and dated in the most official of ways without the title. Yoongi called him his best friend until he was sleeping over and they were exploring the depths of sex. It wasn’t a rush, not really, not until the guy got his diagnosis. Yoongi auditioned for the rest of his life and the guy died. He wasn’t sure how to feel about all that. At the very least, he was sure to have been done feeling— loving.

Surely there are things more important than love. Jung Hoseok spent his childhood dancing until his body hurt, and then more. This was what he wanted to do for the rest of his life and he hadn’t made a backup plan. He needed it, and when he got it, he expected all of the hard work. Blood, sweat and tears; plus a whole lot of long long nights. That was how it was for everyone. If you weren’t dying from exhaustion then you weren’t working hard enough. It was all busy, endlessly busy, yet… Hoseok found time to do something extra.

Yoongi wasn’t an approachable guy, not anymore. He was sleep deprived, food deprived and relationship-deprived. All the worst kinds of deprivation, and it did not make him an easy person to live or work with. Yoongi’s coworkers, or at least the people which made it to debut, were surprisingly flexible. Namjoon was a genius. He had a great voice, real talent, and there was a reason why the group almost debuted as one. It's just that he was only book smart, every second living with him was genuinely scary to witness how such a clumsy guy had lived for so long. Seokjin, the only member older than Yoongi, was trying too hard; with the jokes, comments about his looks, and his worried motherly nagging. When Yoongi found out he didn't grow up in a household of women, or as an older sibling, he was genuinely shocked. Hoseok was loud, very loud, and extremely loud. It was... familiar. Yoongi avoided him the same way he did grief. Jimin screamed compensation. He was short, probably gay. Taehyung was a child and acted like it. Yoongi wasn't about to touch that with a ten foot pole. Jungkook was a baby, and in a constant state of either gay panic or anxiety. That gave him a bit more leniency from Yoongi. What a group . 

Around two years later BTS was on a stage, debuting. Most went from being the exhausted they had ever been to being even more exhausted than that. Hoseok was no different, not really. It was only that some members, like Yoongi, slept for hour increments to get more work done, but when Hoseok woke up it was to admire. He was at the end of the reserves of his energy, yet Yoongi always had more to give, just one more hour. Hoseok was hopelessly struck by his work ethic. Sometimes Yoongi would pinch the bridge of his nose, take a beer can out to the balcony and drink alone in the cold. Before he even knew it, Hoseok had joined him. No shoes, no coat, just him and his eyes which he had a hard time pulling away from Yoongi’s back, even as he poured out some of the beer off the railing. Hoseok was going to say something, about why he was wasting the drink, or that he shouldn’t pour something in case it lands on someone. The words were stuck in his throat. He was quiet. Yoongi turned around, resting his elbows over the edge of the railing and returning the gaze. He was also quiet. It was a long time to be so quiet with such endless eye contact. As if he were in a trance, Hoseok’s body moved on its own. He’d never kissed anyone before, but he was kissing Yoongi. He didn’t move away, how could he, his body was no longer his to control. Instead he waited for Yoongi to shove him away or hit him, but Yoongi didn’t move either. His elbows still resting on the back of the railing, and he watched for a moment before his eyelids drooped and closed. Yoongi had been stoic, grumpy, hard-working, but this was something else. It looked like relief, like satisfaction finally, or some sort of contentment. How is a kiss supposed to make you feel? For Hoseok, it made him feel like kissing Yoongi again, and forever, and that was mortifying.

Hoseok ripped away "I’m sorry–I–" 

He stumbled backwards and Yoongi’s eyes opened and that emotion, whatever it was, was gone. If he wasn’t a coward, maybe Hoseok wouldn’t have run away. 

Yoongi watched Hoseok leave beneath heavy lids and his knuckle brushed against his lip, not to wipe away the kiss, but to press it into his lips. 

***

The kiss made it hard to focus. Yoongi grappled with the possibility of a relationship and how it would work under contract–and under surveillance, and under the same roof with five other guys–without being caught. Maybe if they were roommates? Either way the manager was constantly in and out of the tiny apartment and all seven of them were practically living on top of each other.

"You seem lost in thought." Seokjin looked at him over his book, one which must have been a gift from Namjoon because it didn’t strike Yoongi as something Jin would normally read. "Maybe you should be the one reading this."

Jin snapped the book closed and tossed it on Yoongi’s lap. They had been sitting quietly in the living room together, but it seemed like the book was the only thing anchoring Jin to the room. He sighed and walked a few steps to the kitchen, stating something about making lunch. Yoongi set down his phone and gave the book a once over. Centering the Mind , was the title, and Yoongi’s suspicions about the book belonging to Namjoon was confirmed.

Yoongi pushed the book off his lap and Jin sighed again. Clearly something was on his mind, and clearly he wanted Yoongi to ask about it. "Not big on reading."

The fridge slammed closed and Jin moved on to the pantry, then back to the fridge again, and decided to come back empty handed. He picked up the book once more and flipped to the first few pages. He’d been reading for at least an hour and had not gotten very far. He sighed again.

"Namjoon is the most frustrating…–" He was searching for a word and as if he read it from the book, came up with, " enigma ." He set the book down on the floor and crossed his knees and his arms. "Do you… like…weird things?"

"Weird things?"

"Yeah. Weird things."

Jin gave him a look which spoke a hundred words.

"I guess." Yoongi said, and a familiar smile crossed his face. "Although it doesn’t get much weirder than your enigma."

"Don’t even get me started."

Yoongi did like weird things, just not the same type as Jin. He had a type, maybe, but it wasn’t about looks. There was a certain type of personality he liked a lot. Maybe it was because he had a hard time smiling, but people like Hoseok who could smile so naturally, and have so much unending energy— Yoongi liked it a bit too much. That energy could fill him up and make him smile the kind of smile that didn't take so much energy to make.

Hoseok was a mess. He couldn’t even look at Yoongi without red crawling over his cheeks and up to his ears. He wanted to talk about the kiss. He wanted to talk about how they probably should talk about it— but he couldn’t open his mouth without still feeling Yoongi’s lips against his. When Yoongi asked for a solo dance lesson, Hoseok didn’t know what to do, but he needed to face the music. It was his fault after all, he’d done the kissing, and he needed to do the talking too. 

The further they got into the lesson, the less Hoseok wanted to have ‘the talk.’ Yoongi had a hat on which pulled his bangs up and exposed his forehead, every time he needed to adjust it he ran his fingers through his slicked back hair. His forehead was sweat-slicked, and he used his shirt to wipe it, everytime Hoseok got to witness a flash of his torso. And his hips, his navel and happy trail— god his hips .

"Is this right?" Yoongi rolled his hips, watching himself in the mirror and frowning. "This still doesn’t look right. Show me again."

It was hard to judge his movements, it was hard to do anything. Hoseok walked up to him and set his hands on his hips, moving them manually to an eight count.

"Like this…" Hoseok hovered, and they watched each other from the mirror wall. Hoseok pinched Yoongi’s waist and he tried the dance move again. Before it had been a bit too weak, but that time Yoongi’s hips were loose and they rolled in the fluid motion Hoseok needed. "Yeah… better."

Hoseok pulled away and they both seemed disappointed.

"…Good." Yoongi said, he sat down and fixed his hat again. "It’s getting late."

"I guess we should head back to the dorm."

Yoongi laid back and spread his arms out, Hoseok watched his chest rise and fall a few times before forcing his vision back to the mirror wall. He looked haggard and unlike himself. It wasn’t that he was upset, but dancing usually didn’t make him feel this way. Caught in a limbo between coworkers, friends and more, neither knew what to say. Yoongi didn’t know what he wanted, but he did know he used to have dreams about a dead guy and now his sleep was littered with Hoseok. How much different could it be than when he was sneaking around during school. He had to watch out for cameras and teachers and other students. And when they went to his house if his parents caught a whiff of what he was up to— it was almost like he had trained for this sort of relationship. Now it was just fans and staff instead of students and teachers, and the manager and other members instead of his parents. Even then, if they did find out their reactions would pale in comparison to his parents.

"Help me up?"

Yoongi held out his arms and Hoseok was quick to grab his hands, eager to help. When they came nose to nose, as Yoongi wanted, he gave Hoseok a brief moment. Some deniability. If he moved away, then Yoongi wouldn’t go through with it. He gave him an extra moment, just to be sure, but Hoseok was lost in staring at Yoongi’s lips so he obliged him. Pulling Hoseok in by the collar, Yoongi molded their lips together. Their relationship was sealed by a virgin-esque kiss and set in sweat on the floor.

***

In the beginning, Yoongi was sure that Hoseok was only anxious of getting caught, or just self-conscious, but it became glaringly obvious that those feelings were rooted in inexperience. Hoseok had never dated before, not even a girl, their kiss had been his first and he sure as hell hadn’t done any more. It felt elementary when Hoseok asked to hold hands, and how such an action made him so giddy. When they were alone together, and it was the perfect time to fool around, they would kiss maybe, but mostly Hoseok wanted to cuddle, or sit together, or talk, or laugh, or watch a movie. It was so innocent. Yoongi felt his fast paced life slow, and for the first time he relished in that slowness. He never pushed, he wanted to dwell in those early moments which he had skipped before. This was… happiness . When they were alone it was like they were the only people in the world. Hoseok could make him act like there was nothing holding him back, and they spent an entire year that way.

"Are you happy?" Yoongi asked, Hoseok was using his lap as a pillow and Yoongi had been scribbling in his lyric book. "With us."

It was their anniversary, sort of, Yoongi didn’t know if you should celebrate when you weren’t really dating. Hoseok seemed pleased enough with a quiet night in. The others were home, but Jin and Namjoon were doing laundry, and the kids were playing video games in one of the bedrooms. 

Hoseok hummed a tired yes and Yoongi set down his phone.

"Do you like girls?"

"I guess."

"And guys?"

"Mostly just you."

Yoongi felt his lips pull down into a frown.

"Would you be happier if I was a girl?"

Hoseok hummed. "I don’t know, I guess. I’ve never tried dating one before." Hoseok nuzzled into Yoongi’s lap. "Doesn’t matter… I like you."

"You could like someone else better."

"But I like you."

Yoongi wished that Hoseok had dated, that he’d kissed or lost his virginity. The difference in experience put him in a weird dynamic of superiority. The closer he got to Hoseok the more he felt like he either needed to protect him and not corrupt that innocence. 

Hoseok wished that Yoongi wouldn’t talk about ‘what ifs;’ they didn’t really matter. Yoongi made him happy the same way dancing made him happy, and that was all Hoseok needed. He was more than his innocent inexperience.

***

Yoongi was stuck. He was in the middle of composing a piece, sitting in the living room with a keyboard on his lap plugged into a set of headphones. He was trying to be quiet since it was well past one in the morning, but the headphones couldn’t quiet the way he hammered the wrong keys. Wrong wasn’t quite the right word, but off. He would flutter through the intro, fingers dancing across the board in a fluid motion, and then the bridge, but as soon as he got to the chorus he struck a chord which didn’t fit. He held a pencil between his teeth and glared at his composition book hoping that it had the answer. Yoongi hated getting stuck while composing, something which usually came easy to him could get so mercilessly hard. He played the song from the beginning once again, fluttering over the keys and when he got to the chorus once more he hammered the off chord over and over hoping that the sound could fix itself.

The bedroom door creaked open and Hoseok came out with a yawn, scratching his stomach. Yoongi pushed the pencil behind his ear and apologized for waking him, but he was waved off. Hoseok went to the kitchen and Yoongi started to play the intro again, but stopped halfway through when Hoseok handed him a glass of water. 

He took off his headphones. "Hey."

"You're up late." Hoseok’s tired smile was filled with concern. 

"I can’t sleep." Yoongi took a sip and set the glass down. "Have to figure out this stupid chorus—"

Hoseok sat down behind him, putting Yoongi between his legs. His arms circled around his stomach, and he pressed his chest to Yoongi’s back. Hoseok was still tired, but this was what a good boyfriend was meant to do.

"Can I listen?"

"I…" Yoongi looked down at their knees together and then back to his keyboard. "I guess."

Hoseok took the headphones and rested his chin against Yoongi’s shoulder. Yoongi hesitated, not because he was embarrassed, but for some reason this felt more intimate than anything he had ever done. This was vulnerability, maybe the most vulnerable than he had ever been. He started playing, listening to the soft clicking of the keys, knowing the sounds they were making in Hoseok’s ears. His finger’s drifted over the keys, and he stumbled into that damn chord as he did all other times. Instead of hammering the chord in Hoseok’s ears he sighed. Maybe the song just wasn’t meant to be. That happened sometimes, when Yoongi tried to force a song, it revolted against him. The hands at his torso snuck downwards to the keyboard. Hoseok’s fingers settled over the chord, but instead of playing all the notes, he only played one. For some reason it was the most genius change. Yoongi snatched the headphones back and played the song through with the change, switching almost obsessively to his composition book to note it down, plus a slew of extra notes which naturally followed. The stress drained from Yoongi’s shoulders, and from his back he felt Hoseok’s positivity penetrate through. He was unstuck, and for some reason the most natural next move was to shove the keyboard from his lap and shove Hoseok back into the couch. He straddled Hoseok’s hips, holding his chest down with one hand and holding his chin with the other. Hoseok made a noise as their lips met, surprise maybe, Yoongi had never been so aggressive with him before. The moment their lips touched Yoongi realized how much he had been holding back. How much he was craving more. He kissed Hoseok until he was pushing at his chest to catch a breath between kisses, and even then Yoongi kept going. He wanted Hoseok more than he wanted to breathe, he wanted to inhale him and hold him in his lungs. What was he waiting for? For Hoseok to change his mind? Fuck that . Yoongi’s hips rolled down against Hoseok’s hips and he ate up every noise. Dry humping was also elementary, but he needed it.

"Yoongi—"

Hoseok shoved harder and Yoongi pulled away looking down at Hoseok–to his wide eyes drawn in eyebrows–with a sense of shame.

"Sorry… ‘m sorry." Their laboured breaths mixed, and Yoongi forced his hips upwards. "I’m trying to go slow— we should stop" Yoongi needed the coldest shower he could tolerate. This relationship was meant to be innocent. Hoseok breathed and Yoongi took in the breath and couldn’t help but mouth at Hoseok’s lips again. His body wasn’t listening. He needed Hoseok so badly, yet he knew he couldn’t push this. "I’m sorry."

He was apologizing for his nature, maybe.

"D…don’t stop."

Yoongi’s mind left him. He didn’t care where they were, he didn’t care if anyone heard or saw. The only thing he cared about was how quickly he could remove enough clothes off their bodies that they could have sex right there. He’d started with his shorts, pulling them down to his thighs. His heart was racing and his body moved on its own. It had been years since he last had sex, and his body had almost forgotten how much it liked it. Yoongi pushed a finger into his ass and pulled on Hoseok’s lip with his teeth. Then he kissed down his jaw and his neck, and Yoongi hated himself for not savouring it, but he needed it as fast as he could get it.

"What are you—" A hand came over Yoongi’s wrist and pulled.

Yoongi tried to pacify him with his lips, struggling to press in a second finger dry.

"Yoongi." Hoseok ripped Yoongi’s hand away and almost looked scared. "Stop that."

"What?" Yoongi bit his lip and pulled at the hem of Hoseok’s shirt, but his hands were pushed away. "What’s wrong?" 

"It’s gross."

Chapter Text

It’s gross .

The words repeated over and over in Hoseok’s mind and he still couldn’t figure out why he said them. Yoongi wasn’t gross— he was the least gross! He said as much to try and patch things up, but Yoongi wasn't buying it. Gross wasn't the right word but it was the only thing his stupid mouth could say. Was strange better? Surprising? Or maybe weird? Why couldn't Hoseok keep his stupid brain to himself! If he wasn't such a panicked virgin he could be a panicked non-virgin by now.

Hoseok groaned and pressed his chin against the kitchen table. If he were lucky, he would melt there and merge with the wood. Tables didn't have problems like this, he should be a table instead.

"What's up with you?" Jimin stopped in his tracks, doubling back to slide into the chair next to him. "Didn't sleep well? I heard you get up at some point and not come back for a longgg time. Get stuck in the toilet or what?"

He snickered and Hoseok groaned again. Jimin poked him once, then again, before leaning deeper into the table to try and meet Hoseok's eyes.

"I… said something stupid to Yoongi." Hoseok finally admitted, the words freed another wave of social anguish through his brain. He pinched his eyes as tight as he could and knocked his forehead against the table. "Am I an idiot or what!"

"Ohh I get it. You're getting the cold shoulder from him, right? Eh, I wouldn't worry much. After I annoy him all I have to do is lay low for a day or so, at least until his Jimin-tolerance goes back up."

"But I don't want to leave it! I need to fix it ASAP, like yesterday ASAP, I need to fix it so well he forgets what I said. Better yet, I need to go back in time and tape my dumb mouth shut." Hoseok sighed and knocked his head into the table once more. "I ruined everything! You should have seen the face he made— he hates me!"

"Oh come on, he doesn't hate you, probably— I mean definitely." Jimin came closer and patted Hoseok's head. "How about I talk to him? Leave this to me, Roomie. Once I tell him how upset you are, everything should be all smoothed over."

Jimin stood and Hoseok lunged for him.

"Nono, you can't!" Hoseok wrapped his arms around Jimin's torso and tried to use all of his strength to keep him from moving. "He really really really can't know I said anything— if he knew I was pouting over what I said— it can't happen!"

Jimin took a final step before stopping.

"Hmm… then, I'm sorry, Hyung, I don't know what else I can do to help? Why don't you go apologize?"

"I tried!" Hoseok let go and slunk to the floor, rubbing his hands in his face to try and scrub away the pathetic look on his face. "But I don't just want Yoongi to think I'm sorry, I need him to know that what I said isn't what I meant, and he doesn't believe me!"

Jimin squatted down and poked at Hoseok's hands until he moved them out of the way.

"I say you keep trying to convince him until he has no choice but to believe you!" He held out his fist and gave Hoseok a determined smile. "Fighting."

Yoongi wasn't sure what was worse, Hoseok calling him gross mid heated make-out session, or Hoseok following him around like a toddler. Instead of "are we there yet" Hoseok gave Yoongi a string of "you aren't gross I swear! I'm just an idiot!" Sometimes it varied to, "you're so cool and great" or "how could you be gross?" Yoongi had to escape into the bathroom just to get some peace. Instead, peace is not what he found when Hoseok began to blow up his phone. He turned it off and threw it on the sink counter. The mirror glared back the disgusting thing Yoongi tried not to meet in the eye. Hoseok was right, he was gross . What exactly was the plan, to shove Hoseok's dick in just as without warning as Yoongi shoved his tongue down his throat? What the hell was his problem! Yoongi would have been more concerned if Hoseok hadn't stopped him— although a simple "please stop" would have sufficed. That night made two things abundantly clear. One: Hoseok may have been happy to kiss a guy, but anything anal was off the table. Two: he wanted more as well, at least a little bit. More than just hand-holding and chaste kisses. Appeasing both of those things at once was possible, but possible wasn't close enough to easy. In theory, he could just not be a selfish asshole and take things slow, a few months of deep kisses, another few for making out, after a year maybe they could try out handjobs. No handjobs might be too quick, maybe dry humping? In two years or so they could be frotting or maybe some oral? It would be nearly impossible to hold back, but if there was that much time, that much distance, Yoongi could force anal out of his wheelhouse. He just had to not think about how nice it would be… Hoseok hesitant and bright red, fists clenched in the sheets. Yoongi's stomach burned and his eyebrows curved upwards. Possible swayed closer to impossible. He bit his lip and glared down at the growing bulge in his pants. This is your fault.

He pulled off his shirt and switched on the shower, sighing reluctantly as he set the temperature to as cold as he could handle. He was resigning himself to a life chalked full of cold showers because of his stupid heart. He loved Hoseok too much, but he would try.

***

Yoongi half expected to find Hoseok standing outside of the door ready to resume his spiel. Instead the hall was empty. He turned back on his phone to find a brigade of messages, the latest of all being from Jin. He had typed: "Namjoon and I are taking the kids out for dinner, be back later tonight!" with a small winky face and a kiss emoji. Yoongi sighed and walked back to their shared room. Jin must have noticed the sour mood and thought it would be best to run away with the kids for a few hours, fair. From the silence in the air, he took Hoseok too. That would at least allow Yoongi some time to mentally prepare himself. What was he supposed to say? He had already accepted Hoseok's apology a few times over and that didn't change a thing. He had to fix it, somehow. It was his own fault for pushing things in the first place.

The floorboards near the door groaned, as did the door. Yoongi stepped in and deadpanned, finding Hoseok kneeling on the ground holding up a taped-together poster. Before Yoongi could read what was written in colourful marker, Hoseok said it out-loud.

"I'm a stupid idiot! You're the least-gross and best boyfriend ever!"

Yoongi felt a sigh roll off the tip of his tongue. Hoseok didn't move, his forehead pressed into the floorboards. Yoongi stepped past him towards the closet, dumping his dirty clothes.

"Hoseok, listen." He grabbed the knot of his towel to keep it from unraveling. "It's alright already. I don't know how many times you need me to say it." There was nothing comfortable, all of the favourites were at the bottom of the laundry mountain. "It was my fault anyways. It won't happen again."

"What, no that's not better at all!" Hoseok wined, eyes lost in the sign he had spent the last ten minutes speedily throwing together. He had broken out his good markers for this! He didn't understand how Yoongi still couldn't see how much of a sorry idiot he was. "You aren't gross, it wasn't gross— I just, it was new and I don't know what I'm doing, I keep panicking and I don't know how to make this better, but I just want you to forget I ever said it!"

Yoongi finally found a comfy enough shirt and plucked it from the hanger. The hanger swung and hit the top shelf before landing in the mountain of laundry. The noise was loud enough to bring Hoseok's eyes up, finally to see the nakedness of Yoongi's bare back. His hair slicked back and dripping, droplets in lines down his shoulders and down the small of his back.

Through a sigh Yoongi turned. "Look, you gave me a boundary, I get that. I'm not angry, if that's what you're panicking over. I'll figure out a better way to do things so that last night doesn't happen again. We'll take things at your pace and only do things we're both comfortable with. Okay?"

Hoseok didn't respond, his mind was lost somewhere and his eyes were blown wide and stuck somewhere between Yoongi's chest and his navel. He gulped and it was loud enough to draw Yoongi's attention away from his own anxieties. He looked down at himself, then behind him briefly as if the thing which had completely stolen Hoseok's attention was behind him. Yoongi stepped forwards. It would have been so easy to have him right there. Those wide doe eyes and slack jaw. He was completely silent, looking at Yoongi like he was something to behold. He stepped further, walking around Hoseok and setting the shirt and pair of boxers he grabbed on his bed. He took a breath, a deep one and forcibly slow, anything to calm the pounding in his heart. It was that kind of atmosphere which made the barely possible impossible. The quietness, stillness, those raging hormones— the complete contrast of Hoseok's normal loud laughter. Yoongi could barely breathe.

"Hoseok."

Hoseok jolted, springing up from his position, too ashamed to turn around. Hoseok walked jello legs towards the door. How could he be so lame! It was his fault that things stopped the other night, yet there Hoseok was, boner and all, ready to beg. Anything , just to get back to what they started. He had to leave before he really did make a fool of himself.

"Ah, sorry what were you saying? Actually, maybe tell me next time—funny story, but I forgot pull my laundry out of the machine and if I don't then Jungkook will sulk, so don't mind me, I'm just going to—"

"Argh fuck it, I really can't."

Yoongi caught Hoseok's arm before he could leave. He took the towel around his shoulders and hooked it around the back of Hoseok's neck. He pulled to get them nose to nose, breath to breath, eyes to Hoseok's which were everywhere else.

"If you want me to stop, or slow down, say that instead this time." Yoongi was still barely breathing, despite how hard his lungs burned for breath. "Okay?"

Hoseok set trembling fingers on Yoongi's arms, tracing up towards his shoulders. Yoongi had to close his eyes, it was the only way to stop himself from pressing that final centimeter closer. He set his jaw and waited.

"Y…your skin is so soft." Hoseok stuttered out finally, and his palms slid over Yoongi's shoulders down his back. "Here too." His hands bounced against the towel as he traced towards hips. Rebutted, Hoseok let go and brought his hands to Yoongi's cheeks instead. "I… really don't know what I'm doing."

"It's okay…" 

Yoongi felt strangled, his entire chest heaved with every touch. This was impossible, absolutely impossible— yet he managed to keep his tongue out of Hoseok's mouth and his hands to himself.

"Tell… tell me what to do… please ." Yoongi's eyelids fluttered open to find Hoseok chewing through his bottom lip, tears brimming in his eyes. "I want to do this… tell me how to do this… please , I'll keep my mouth shut this time, I won't say anything dumb, I'll be good. Please Yoongi ."

His sanity was shattered, Yoongi yanked Hoseok the last centimeter and caught those beautiful lips in his. He tried, but it wasn't slow, although it wasn't rushed either. Yoongi kissed him as deep as his feelings ran, boundless and with an outpouring of his soul. He kissed Hoseok like he would never kiss anyone else again, this was it, and he loved the idea of that. 

The floor beneath Hoseok opened up, but instead of being swallowed whole, it was as if gravity no longer affected him at all. His mind shattered into millions of tiny pieces and all of them could only think about Yoongi. He didn't just want this anymore, he needed it. He needed to get closer, to be closer, to have more than what they've had. He wanted to step closer, or to pull Yoongi in closer to pretend that this wasn't as realm-altering as it felt. Yet, his legs were melting and numb, pooling in the space he stood and his fingers were locked in each joint. The only thing he could move was his mouth, gapping at Yoongi's, trying to keep up. It was better than last time, but Hoseok had no more of an idea of what he was doing than before. He wanted astral knowledge, someone from high above to beam information into his brain. Instead of mopping around all day he should have been researching—

"Hold on…" 

Yoongi faltered, his hands leaving the towel around Hoseok's neck and instead gripping tightly into the towel around his waist. It was loosened, enough to dip lower than before. Hoseok dared to look down, where the towel rounded at the top of Yoongi's pelvis. His hips were out and exposed, if Hoseok dared to look over Yoongi's shoulder might've been able to see even more.

"I should put on some clothes before we continue, give me a second."

Hoseok felt a lump the size of a golf ball form in his throat. His lips were buzzing, his blood was pumping— everything was hot. Sweat poured down his spine from anxiety and he didn't know what came over him when he said it.

"Or… or, I… I could… take off my…" Yoongi froze before Hoseok could stutter out the rest of his sentence, whether that was a good or bad thing, Hoseok didn't know. Either way, he continued. "Take off my… clothes… too."

If his face could burn any brighter, it was, but he wasn't the only one. The tips of Yoongi's ears were just as red, if he squinted.

"It really is impossible, what the hell was I thinking?" 

Before Hoseok's heart could drop, Yoongi came back just to once again grab Hoseok by the towel around his neck. Hoseok made a few strangled noses as Yoongi guided him to sit on the bed.

"What are we—" 

Yoongi held the knot of his towel harder as he lifted his knee through the edges of the fabric. A bare, beautiful, knee set beside Hoseok's hip, then another. Yoongi looked down at Hoseok with black intense eyes. For moments, he looked angry, then he lowered his weight into Hoseok's lap. The knot of the towel became lose once more as Yoongi set both of his hands on Hoseok's shoulders.

"Is… that okay?"

Hoseok laughed way too loud and long. He didn't know where to put his hands, or where he should look, or what to say either. He wanted to adjust to make sure that Yoongi didn't notice the obvious, and nearly agonizing, bulge in his pants. Yoongi was naked, on his lap. Naked. On. His. Lap. Well, mostly anyways, in a towel— but that didn't stop Hoseok's mind from running for a second.

"I can get off if you want." Yoongi said.

"Nono!" Hoseok cursed his own hands for having a mind of their own, grasping at Yoongi's waist— naked waist—to keep him in place. "Stay… it's okay. It's more than okay. Stay there forever or do it more often— I mean what? That was weird. I'm weird. But it's cool— so cool, very cool even!"

"Hoseok?"

"Yeah?"

Yoongi's eyebrows pressed together. Hoseok really was weird, but that wasn't the frustrating part. All Yoongi wanted was a simple answer, but what was simple about that? Was it really okay or not? Hoseok bumbled when he was nervous, but was he nervous because he was lying or just because of the situation? If Yoongi leaned in to kiss him, would that be okay? If he asked for permission to do that would he get another tangent of a questionable answer?

"Kiss me." He did ask Yoongi to tell him what to do.

Hoseok blinked, then once more. His mouth parted open ready to stutter out something, or just to let out another loud laugh, yet he didn't do either. He just stopped, eyes wide, lips open and ready. Yoongi didn't lean in despite the way his body protested. If he didn't have to wait two years for a tiny bit of friction, he could at least wait a few moments for a kiss.

"...kiss you?"

"Yeah." Yoongi leaned in a little bit closer, to meet Hoseok half way. "Kiss me. Then take off your shirt."

The kind of kiss they shared was the kind you couldn't get used to. Earnest and vulnerable, the complete unraveling and outpouring of one soul into another. Lips crashing like waves lapping on a beach, saliva mixing as salt and water.

Hoseok pulled his shirt up to his neck, too afraid that a single interruption would be the end of it again. Yoongi caught the fabric and separated for just a moment to pull Hoseok free of the shirt and towel. He wanted to touch him, to grab at his bare skin and pull him in tighter. Yoongi wanted to be closer, impossibly so. That's what he wanted, but instead he forced his hands to stay on Hoseok's shoulders, thumbs rubbing circles in the divots of his collarbones. Gently and slow, that was the only way.

"Lay back." 

Yoongi said once he really couldn't take it another second longer. Hoseok did, with a giggle and his hands held over his face.

It had to be special, something for Hoseok to remember. To bolster his confidence. Yet it also felt rushed? Shouldn't there be a bit more foreplay? Should he test the water by touching his cock or just by undoing his pants— or was that just as bad as if he started fingering himself again. He didn't want to stop, he would if Hoseok wanted that, but he really didn't want to. He wanted to feel good, to be held again, for the warmth to push past his walls and heat his insides. Most of all, he wanted Hoseok inside of him.

Instead of all of that, Yoongi leaned down and pressed his lips to Hoseok's hands.

"Relax." He pulled them free from Hoseok's face and intertwined their fingers, pressing the backs of Hoseok's hands into the mattress. "I'll make you feel good."

Those words rolled into Hoseok's ears and tingled down his body. I'll make you feel good branded his mind, echoing around in the cavernous space like a record on loop. It was embarrassing, horrifyingly vulnerable, but still Hoseok hoped that was a promise.

"What….what do you want me to do?" Hoseok said, hesitantly tightening his grip on Yoongi's hands.

"Well…" Yoongi's lips curled upwards in a small smile. "What do you want to do?"

"I— I don't know!" Yoongi raised an eyebrow at Hoseok's sudden outburst, which only ended in another bout of long and too loud laughter. "I want to, well I mean of course I would want to, who doesn't? It would be nice— I am a guy after all—I want to… do… it ."

Yoongi hummed flatly, disapproving.

"No…?" Hoseok felt his lip quiver.

"There's no need to rush. Let's start smaller, okay?"

"Smaller?"

Spelling out the words was even more embarrassing than Yoongi feared. He felt his cheeks redden as he took one of his hands back to make a slight gesture.

"Handjob." He said, trying to hold back the frustration building impossible pressure beneath his towel. "If… that's okay?"

Hoseok's heart rate spiked once more, a flutter in his chest harsh enough to feel like a heart attack. Maybe Yoongi was right, starting smaller was a good idea. If they went straight to it, he might just die.

"Can I…touch?"

" Please ."

Hoseok was begging again, his breathing hitching at the slightest movement. Tugging at the drawstring, no matter how gently Yoongi did it, it had Hoseok's bottom lip back between his teeth. Even just this much was better than anything he had done alone. He wanted more— needed more. Yoongi backed up slightly on his lap, just enough to give him better access. He pressed his fingertips above the waistband of Hoseok's shorts, pressing in just enough to tickle Hoseok's pelvis, just enough to cause his hips to buck upwards.

"Woah— sorry!" Hoseok sat up, with an awkward laugh and his hands pressed over his face. "That was, I, I didn't mean to—"

"It's fine." Yoongi fixed his position on Hoseok's lap, fiddling with his towel to try and keep it tight around his hips. He nearly lost it with all the shuffling. "Just… relax, Hoseok. Breathe." Hoseok breathed in a deep lung-full of air and waited. Yoongi smoothed over his shoulders, then his chest, but before he went further he had to remind Hoseok to breathe out as well. "And keep breathing, slowly."

"Right…" Hoseok watched Yoongi's hands, trailing lower and lower still. "Should I—"

He was moments too late, Yoongi's palm was already pressed against his bulge. The only sound which came out of his mouth was a noise of surprise.

"Sorry, is that okay? You were saying—"

"No it was nothing! Don't stop."

Yoongi's hand was warm, and pressed against him just right. He didn't need to move at all, that much was enough to have his jaw slacked and toes curled.

"Hoseok?"

"Just… should I… take them off too?"

Yoongi smiled again, not to tease him, but to encourage.

"Sure, if you want to."

"Yeah… but!" Before Yoongi could move his hand away Hoseok held his wrist in place. "Just… this for a bit longer? I… it feels good."

Yoongi nodded, keeping his palm pressed against Hoseok's crotch. Hands strayed from Yoongi's hesitating at his torso before falling back to the edge of the mattress. Yoongi pressed a bit harder, enough to feel what was there beneath the fabric. Hoseok's cock, rock hard and curved slightly to the left. He trailed his hand up, along the curve, then back down— ready that time for the way Hoseok's hips bucked at him. What he wasn't ready for, was the moan which slipped off Hoseok's tongue, a noise which dripped down and splashed against the head of Yoongi's sanity, whatever was left of it anyways. What he would do to hear that noise again, and louder.

"Woah… that's… god that's really good…" Hoseok trailed out, his fingers hesitating once more over Yoongi's hips before grasping the sheets. " Woah ." It was cute, how he hesitated to touch back as if he wasn't allowed. "Can I… can I take them off now?"

Yoongi hummed again, this time lighter as he stepped off. Hoseok had pulled his boxers to his thighs when Yoongi said, "You can touch me too, if you wanted." 

With an enthusiasm-less laugh, Hoseok nodded. So maybe that wasn't on the table yet… although if Hoseok really wanted to go all the way he had to face the noise at some point. When Yoongi would eventually take off his towel, there definitely wouldn't be a vag. If Hoseok expected anything less than cock, balls and an ass for a fuck-hole, he was going to be disapointed.

Hoseok was completely naked, and a sight to take in. 

"Can we…" He had to look away, fingers balled in the sheets. "...continue?"

"Yeah." Yoongi came closer. "But scootch back a bit." He did, eager to listen. "Perfect."

Yoongi climbed onto the bed, one hand keeping his balance and the other keeping the towel from scaring Hoseok away. They were nearer to the center of the bed now, with Hoseok's feet dangling off the edge.

"How do you usually like it?" Hoseok stared at him blankly in response. Yoongi waited and only received a long 'uhhh.' He breathed and shuffled closer. "When you… jerk off, is it slow or fast, loose or tight? That kind of thing."

"Uhhh…  I don't know? I guess tight— but not too tight, fast but not so fast? It's not like I have anything to compare it to— normally, I jerk off… normally ."

Very helpful, what the hell does that mean?

Even with barely anything to go on, Yoongi reached down and grasped Hoseok's cock in his hand, keeping his grip loose on purpose.

"Woah." Yoongi stayed there for a few moments, watching the way pre drooled out of Hoseok's slit and dribbled over the edge of this head. "You're touching my dick."

"Mhm."

Hoseok watched even closer, hands once more hesitating to touch Yoongi. He wanted to say it again, that he was allowed to touch, but that felt too insistent. If Hoseok didn't want to touch him, then he wouldn't.

He did a test stroke, pulling his fist up towards the head, and staying there for a moment. The pre dribbled into his hand and Hoseok nearly bucked again when Yoongi brought his fist back down, this time tighter.

" Woah ."

Your hands are so soft. You're handsome. It feels good. I love you. So many sentiments were stuck in Hoseok's throat. Pleasure pooled in his body, deep within his stomach, while heat boiled his blood. I want to make you feel good too . How was he meant to say any of it when the only words that would leave his mouth were stupid. 'Woah you're touching my dick' was he a child? Way to state the freaking obvious! He was so uncool, so so so uncool. He needed to say something— do something. Not just lay there like a lame virgin and take it. He wanted to kiss again, kissing made the embarrassment less present, he was too busy worrying about Yoongi's lips to think about anything else. I want to touch you, I want to kiss you. I want you.

"Stay there for a second."

Yoongi pulled away and it felt like Hoseok's universe died. He sat up again, knees coming out to the side as he held back a few pathetic complaints. Yoongi walked towards the closet and pulled out a bag from the back. From the side compartment he pulled out a clear tube with no label. It was half full of… soap? Hoseok's heart dropped. Did he smell? Was he dirty?

When Yoongi came back Hoseok apologised for moving.

"No, this is fine." Yoongi crawled back onto his lap, this time sitting between Hoseok's crossed legs, and letting his legs hang over Hoseok's hips. "My knees were starting to ache anyways."

Their crotches were closer this way, a thought which both of them took stock off. Hoseok did his damndest not to look down, Yoongi's towel was practically useless now. It covered his crotch and ass, but that was about it. His thighs were on full display now, both of them… bare skin against bare skin. His thighs, the skin there was snow white and silk soft. The sun didn't even have the privilege to see this part of Yoongi, yet somehow he did.

Yoongi clicked the cap open and tilted the bottle of lube over, letting a few runs of liquid slide down Hoseok's cock. 

"It's cold…" 

Yoongi was surprised that he didn't flinch. He clicked the bottle shut again, running his fingers up the run and massaging the lube into his palm. He set his palm against Hoseok's head and slid down, grasping with the same tightness as earlier.

"It'll warm up, just takes a second." He pumped a bit faster and set the bottle aside. "Tighter? Faster? Or is this okay?"

"It's…" Hoseok adjusted himself and let his head hang back. "Yeah… Kiss me?"

He couldn't help the laughter which broached his lips, Hoseok really was cute like this.

"Come here."

Hoseok jumped forwards, cupping either of Yoongi's cheeks to pull him in. He kissed him like Yoongi did last night, impatient and with a need which wouldn't be satisfied until he was cumming. Yoongi sped up, coaxing Hoseok's tongue into his mouth as he drank down a string of moans. He was so honest, his body and his words. If Yoongi paid enough attention, he could gauge exactly what Hoseok liked best.

" Oh my god ." Hoseok pushed them over and bucked into Yoongi's fist, hands on either side of his head. "Don't stop, that's… oh god… Can I touch you?"

Hoseok's lips fell back into Yoongi's, he didn't want to end the kiss so he hummed a positive note instead. Blood sloshed in Hoseok's ears, along with the pounding of his pulse. He didn't want to be the only one feeling this good. One of his hands slid down Yoongi's side, towards his hips, then lower. He reached into the unknown of Yoongi's towel and grasped around for his cock.

"Oh."

" Oh ?" Hoseok halted his hand as he began to tug the towel out of his way. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, I just thought… no, nevermind." Yoongi pulled the knot loose from his towel for Hoseok. "Go ahead."

"Oh." 

Yoongi paused his movement for a moment to look at Hoseok. " Oh? " It was his turn to repeat.

"It's cute."

His eyes slowly narrowed as he glanced down at his dick next to Hoseok's. In comparison of his ex, Yoongi really wasn't that small. He was average, at the lower end maybe, but still average. It was just that Hoseok was on the higher end of average, maybe by an inch… or maybe two. Yoongi hadn't really noticed until they were together like that, Hoseok was bigger than he was used to. It was definitely a good thing Hoseok had stopped him, because five seconds and two fingers wasn't nearly enough prep. Regardless of all that, Hoseok called his dick cute ! What the hell is that?  

"Did you just call my—"

Hoseok paled, sitting up and flailing his arms around.

"No! I mean yes, but I wasn't making fun, I mean it is smaller than I thought— I mean no it's perfect! It's exactly what it should be! I meant that it's pretty— you're pretty! So it makes sense." Hoseok took a deep breath and when Yoongi's face didn't lighten he paled even further. "I mean handsome! You're handsome—so is your penis—that's what I meant!" His head dropped into Yoongi's chest and he sobbed out as if he was actually crying. "Please don't listen to me… I really am an idiot."

Yoongi ran his clean fingers through Hoseok's dyed auburn hair. He twisted two sections until the air stuck up on Hoseok's head like puppy ears. He was pouting like one anyways. It was cute, not that Yoongi would say as much out loud.

"Can we keep going or did I ruin it?"

Yoongi patted his head a few times and said, "Whatever you want is fine."

"Then…" Hoseok lifted his head, looking down at their cocks resting together. "I'm going to touch you now."

"Here." 

Yoongi handed over that clear bottle and wiped his hand off on his towel. Hoseok twisted it over and hesitantly smelt the cap. Scentless soap? Regardless, he really doubted Yoongi needed any. He had just gotten out of the shower, and even then, he really couldn't imagine such a cu— prett— handsome cock could be dirty. He set it aside and reached down, curling his fingers around Yoongi's softening dick, that wasn't a good sign.

"It's shrinking— did I do something wrong?"

"No, it happens sometimes."

"Do you… not want…" His voice was so broken he couldn't end the sentence.

"No, god no, just, here." Yoongi pumped Hoseok's dick a couple times, then his own. "It feels better with lube, go ahead."

"Ohhh. Lube." Hoseok laughed so hard he snorted. "I thought— oh nevermind, okay. To make it slippery."

"That's…" Yoongi made a strange face. "Usually what lube does?"

"Right. Right." He tried to move his hand but it wouldn't budge. How do you jerk someone else off? Was there some sort of protocol? Yoongi asked how Hoseok usually did it himself, was that what he was supposed to do? "How do…" His voice trailed off again. " Woah. "

Yoongi wasn't red, he was pink. From his cheeks to his chest, and Hoseok couldn't help but imagining it for himself. His face twisted in pleasure, toes curled, knees shaking— how did Yoongi like it? Slow and loose, drawing out every breath of pleasure, or maybe he did it fast, struggling to keep noises to himself. Hoseok froze, and his blood flowed so aggressively he felt like he might pass out.

"Don't leave me hanging." Yoongi poked his cheek. "Just… do it like you usually do, that's fine for now."

Like how he usually did? Hoseok was lucky with his roommate situation. Jimin did a lot of gaming in Jungkook's room, some nights he would even sleep there. That opened a lot of opportunities for… alone time. He was a horny young adult and Yoongi was so cool. Nothing affected him. They could be watching a show together with a sex scene and Yoongi wasn't even phased. The amount of times Hoseok had to excuse himself to the bathroom just to jack off quickly again was beyond embarrassing. What else could he do? He didn't even know what being in a relationship meant let alone a gay relationship. Didn't that change things? He was mortified Yoongi would find out how often he was hard, he was sure Yoongi would be disgusted. Then, last night happened. That changed everything. He was literally holding Yoongi's cock in his hand. How did Hoseok usually jack off? As quickly as possible, but did Yoongi want that? He was getting softer by the seconds Hoseok kept hesitating.

"You… you know you don't have— ow!" 

Yoongi jolted away, his fingers tearing Hoseok's vice grip off of his cock. 

"Oh my god. I'm sorry!"

"Jeez. How hard do you—" Yoongi tried to suck the tears back into his tear ducts. "It's fine. I'm fine." He tried to smile at Hoseok's panic, grabbing one of his hands and setting it back on his dick. "Just… a bit more gentle." He guided Hoseok's hand up, then down, and used his own hand around Hoseok's to guide how tight to hold. "Like that… yeah… there is good… yeah ."

He couldn't help the low noises which tickled the back of his throat. He had been so patient, and now finally someone was touching him again. God he needed more.

"Can… can I put it in now…please?" Another moan left Hoseok's mouth, he was jacking himself off as well. "I really… I really can't… I'm so hard it hurts. Yoongi please ."

He bit back his own moan and whispered out an airy, "Yes."

Hoseok adjusted himself and let go, instead pointed his cock down and gulped.

"I… uh… I guess I'm going in?"

"Yeah…— I mean wait wait!" Yoongi nearly lost his senses, jolting up and patting Hoseok's chest a few times. "Sorry I… uh… why don't you go get a condom first. I have to go to the bathroom first anyways."

"Oh… right… okay." Hoseok bit his lip but stood up, making room for Yoongi to get up. "Do you have some?" He had to look away. "I don't…"

"Right— uh, don't worry, I'll grab one in a second." He walked towards the door but doubled back for the lube. "Just, give me a minute or two." He looked back down at Hoseok's hard cock. It was red and leaking, pressed against the base of Hoseok's stomach. "Or… maybe three."

He shook his head and stepped out, as nude as the day he was born and armed only with the small tube of lube. If the others came back he really would have to kill them. He sighed and closed the bathroom door, and slid down against it. You're crazy . He slid a bit deeper and poured a small handful of lube out. You're seriously crazy . He pressed a finger in, which was easy enough. During the slim amount of times he was able to masterbate it usually included at least one finger. What could he say, he liked what he liked. That didn't mean that Hoseok would as well. He pressed a second finger in with enough ease, scissoring gradually. What if Hoseok got part way through putting it in and realized he didn't like it, would Yoongi be able to take the hit? So maybe he could accept that Hoseok was at least bi, no straight guy called someone else's dick pretty while jacking it off. Still, that didn't mean he would like anal, not everyone liked anal. They could thigh fuck? Frotting was definitely on the table. If only Yoongi wasn't some freaky gross weirdo who basically needed a finger up his ass to cum. His jaw fell open when he twisted a third finger in. Needing to sit still for a moment, bucking into the feeling of being stretched. It was tight, tighter than he remembered it feeling. Yet that wasn't all… it was so… so much better than he remembered. He had to clasp his second hand over his mouth to keep from moaning out. Gross . He really was gross. Yoongi had to pry his hand away to stop. He wondered how quickly Hoseok began to panic after he left. He sighed and forced himself to stand, clicking shut the small bottle of lube and taking it with him.

"Okay." He said to himself as he walked back into his room and shut the door. Hoseok was sitting on the edge of the bed, twisting his thumbs. As soon as Yoongi walked in he sparked up.

"You're ready!"

"Yep." Yoongi went back to his closet and pulled out a singular condom. Hopefully condoms didn't expire after… two years? Three? Yoongi shrugged and ripped the package open. "Here, put this on."

"Oh..kay."

Yoongi rolled out his shoulders, then his neck. What was the best position, missionary? Eh, no. On the slim chance he made a gross expression, that was a no, he really couldn't live that down. Doggy maybe, but that didn't seem very romantic or anything. Even then, those positions sort of depended on Hoseok not panicking. Even after prepping, if that thing was thrusted all the way inside of him without warning, he really didn't want to have to deal with any of those kinds of issues. If he bled Hoseok would probably have a heart attack, and he really didn't want to have to do the walk of shame to the pharmacy. So, cowboy then. Reverse cowboy? Yeah… that's probably for the best.

"Lay down?" He stepped closer to Hoseok who was holding the condom in shaky hands. Right, he probably had never put one on before. "Here." Yoongi grabbed the towel and wiped off any residual lube from Hoseok's dick. "Don't want it to slip off." He pinched the tip and set it on Hoseok's head, rolling it down with his fist until it was sat against the base of his cock. "It might be a bit tight, but it's all I have right now."

Hoseok hummed a broken noise.

"Can you lay down, use my pillow if you want." Hoseok looked behind him and nodded once, crawling his way back. "And Hoseok."

"...yeah?"

"If you want me to stop—"

"I don't."

"But just in case—"

"God please… please please… I really can't wait anymore."

His eyebrows were pinched together, tears brimming in his eyes. Yeah, Yoongi felt the exact same.

"Okay."

He joined Hoseok on the bed, throwing a knee over Hoseok's thighs. Yoongi felt more than naked, but excited. It really had been a long time since he had done this.

"You're facing that way?" 

Hoseok's fingers came to Yoongi's hips, hesitating for only a second this time before touching. Yoongi couldn't answer, so he only nodded. Peering over his shoulder at Hoseok, he was a bit sad to miss the view, but this was for the best. He didn't used to worry what others thought of him, but Hoseok was different. Hoseok looked up to him, hell Hoseok thought he was cool. Why was beyond him, but that would all be ruined if Hoseok saw.

"The lube, put some on."

"Oh, right. Cool." Yoongi heard the bottle click. "Is that… good?"

He reached back and spread the lube over Hoseok's cock, pumping it a few times.

"A bit more."

"Oh, sorry, here."

He poured more, probably too much, but Yoongi really didn't want to put more lube on his ass, especially with the view Hoseok had. He lifted his hips, reaching between his legs to find Hoseok's cock.

"Wait wait—"

Yoongi's eyes pinched closed in pain, he leaned forwards and looked back at Hoseok over his shoulder.

"What?"

"Just…is it really going in there?" Yoongi felt a hand come to his ass, Hoseok pulled at one of his cheeks, widening his hole for a second before ripping away. "Sorry! I mean just…will it… hurt?"

Yoongi sighed and sat back, still on Hoseok's upper thighs.

"It's not going to hurt you, it'll feel great." 

"No, I mean you, will it hurt?"

He scrunched his nose, what was he supposed to say? He hoped it wouldn't, but it had been a while. It'll hurt for a second then be uncomfortable probably. Cause that would do his confidence any good. It will feel amazing, don't worry. Even that wasn't great, he didn't want to make himself sound like a slut, but at least Hoseok wouldn't worry. 

"I know what I'm doing." That wasn't much better. "Don't worry."

"Right…" Hoseok tried to chuckle but it was airy and filled with concern. "Go… slow?"

"Of course."

He lifted his hips again, reaching for Hoseok's cock. Hoseok tried to help, by holding his cock, and by holding Yoongi's ass. Whether he was in the way or actually helpful was debatable, but Yoongi didn't say anything. The head pressed against him, slightly opening his asshole. Hoseok bucked up, and his cock slid up Yoongi's crack.

"Sorry sorry!"

"It's fine." 

Yoongi held him a bit tighter, but Hoseok was like a slippery fish. Jolting around and shivering, and the additional lube gave Yoongi no grip. He reached back with his other hand, holding Hoseok's hip bone down as he lowered. 

"Oh…oh… oh ." Hoseok pinched Yoongi's waist tighter. Yoongi clenched his jaw and pressed Hoseok's head the rest of the way in. " Oh my god! Stop— I mean don't stop, please please don't stop, I mean stop stopping? God I don't know my brain isn't working. I'm melting— it feels so good!" 

Hoseok moaned out, and his fingers trembled, hands pushing down on Yoongi's waist. Yoongi tried to gasp for breath as quietly as he could, the lower he sat back the wider his jaw opened. There was something about being connected to someone, it really didn't matter how it felt— Yoongi felt connected. Warmth beyond compare. If there was a word for the opposite of lonely, it was this feeling. Yoongi mouthed out a few swears and lowered further. Hoseok pulled and pushed at him, not sure whether to run away from the intense pleasure or pull it closer— either way, Yoongi sat back fully. Fully flush with Hoseok, fully connected.

"Wow, that's… wow. It really went in." Hoseok let out a single chuckle which ended as a moan. "It's really tight. And really hot— hot-hot not hot— not that it's not hot too! I mean, I just, it's warm. You're warm and hot… and tight… and it feels so good I might die."

He laughed another moan as Yoongi tried to find his voice.

"Y…yeah." He managed to say, hoping his voice didn't sound as shaky as it felt.

"Should I… uh, well actually that might be a bit hard like this— should I start… uh… doing it ?"

"What?"

"It's just, I can't really move my hips like this, you know?"

How long had he been sitting there doing nothing? Fucks sake get a hold of yourself! Yoongi wiped his nose and adjusted his legs.

"Just stay there." 

He started lifting his hips again. He started shallow, which was more than fine by the way Hoseok's fingers dug into his hips. The curve of Hoseok's cock felt like it was rubbing into his stomach. It was deep, and his insides twisted to make room.

"Does that feel good?"

Hoseok let out a strangled moan as an answer. 

Heat began pooling in Yoongi's stomach, he was finally past the uncomfortable phase of things. He looked down and his cock was starting to harden again, wiggling up and down at his movements. He was finally doing it, he was having sex with Hoseok. Although, they would have to change positions soon because his knees were burning.

"Hoseok—"

Nails gripped like iron into Yoongi's hips, forcing him down all the way as Hoseok groaned out and bucked into him.

"Oh my god…" He arched up, hips pressing up even deeper. "Oh… my god… fuck … fuck fuck…. Fuck ."

Yoongi glanced over his shoulder to watch. Hoseok's jaw was slack against his chest, eyes looking only at the place where they were connected. He was trembling, jolting— cumming. Yoongi waited until his knees were screaming, then he rolled over, laying next to Hoseok.

"Wow." Hoseok whispered.

"Mhm." 

Yoongi stretched out his knees, pinching his eyes at the strain. Right, that was the reason he didn't like that position. Noted.

"Yoongi…" Hoseok rolled over, hiding his face in Yoongi's upper stomach. "That… felt really good."

"Yeah."

Hoseok peered up at him.

"Yeah? For you too?"

Yoongi swallowed the flat hum before it could leave his voice box. It wasn't good, not really. But it really wasn't bound to be, most first times were trainwrecks. In terms of all the sex Yoongi had before, it wasn't the worst. The first time he bottomed was a disastrous day which would remain between him, and his dead ex, Hoseok really couldn't do worse than that. 

Regardless of how long it lasted, or the fact that he didn't get to finish, he couldn't help himself but to pat Hoseok's head.

"You did well." He said, smiling to himself when he realized Hoseok's hair was still standing up like puppy ears. He smoothed them down. "But go shower and change before the others get home." Hoseok whined like a child who was denied a treat. Yoongi set his arms beneath his head as a pillow, crossing his knees over. "Hoseok, you smell like sex. Go shower."

"I smell like… sex ?"

"Mhm."

His cheeks burned as he got up.

"That's… that's…" He stepped backwards and nearly tripped over his clothes. Picking them up to cover his crotch. " Cool . Yeah… okay, I'll go wash off… the smell of sex… then."

"Mhm." Hoseok smacked his elbow on the doorframe on his way out. "And throw out the condom too."

He didn't really smell, not that much anyways, but Yoongi needed to finish himself off without Hoseok staring at him. That really was impossible.

Chapter Text

There they were again, all sitting around the living room on the first quiet weekend in weeks. This wasn't the first time Namjoon called for a group meeting, although the first time was a cringe-fest Yoongi decidedly dissociated through. Why everyone needed to be present while Namjoon told Jungkook what happened when two guys liked each other a lot, Yoongi really didn't get it. It wasn't his fault, actually it was most likely Jin's. He probably started something without making sure the door was locked, either way, don't do that shit unless you're alone. Of course someone was bound to see, bad luck it was Jungkook though. Poor kid nearly exploded from embarrassment. This time the meeting probably had a similar undertone by how flustered Jin was. I had come out of my room to meet Hoseok and found Jin scrubbing his couch—his pride and joy for some reason—clean. When Hoseok asked he only got snipped at, and when I gave him a look, Jin only offered a court "Don't ask."

"Where is Taehyung?" Namjoon's knee shook, he checked his watch. "I did say what time to meet."

"Wasn't he visiting home for the weekend?" Hoseok called out from the kitchen. 

He was pouring himself and Yoongi a glass of wine, determined that this meeting wouldn't completely take over their plans. He was determined to have a wine and movie night, which was sweet, he was sweet. Sweeter than usual, but Yoongi chalked that up to his recent poor mood. They had been extremely busy; schedule this, schedule that. If Yoongi had to spend another hour on that one stupid dance, he was going to scream.

"Well that's too bad, why don't we reschedule?" Jungkook laughed a nervous laugh, staring off into a far wall instead of looking Namjoon in the eye. 

"No, this is important," Jin said, "Let's start."

"It really isn't!" Jungkook was all but begging. "We really don't have to!"

"We do."

Jin was upset, that much was clear, but Jungkook was so embarrassed that he was trying to escape his way into the floorboards. At what point was it considered torturous to do this in front of everyone?

"It's embarrassing!"

"How do you think I feel! Walking in a seeing… that ."

Jungkook groaned and threw his face into his knees.

"Well." Jimin scratched the back of his neck, too far from Jungkook to comfort him, too close not too. "I guess this is the part where I'm supposed to say we're dating? Yay…!" He was hesitant to be positive, especially with the way Jungkook sobbed on himself. "Please support us?"

Hoseok watched the display with a degree of curiosity. They were dating? Jin walked in on them doing what, kissing? If they had just started dating, how bad could it really have been, Jungkook was still practically a baby. A seventeen year old baby, but still. Yoongi would probably kill him for it, but Hoseok had to do something to help his youngest brother out. Seokjin's wrath was a scary thing to behold alone.

"Wow, what a… small world!" He reached for Yoongi's hand and held it up, intertwined with his. "Us too."

"I knew it!" Jimin aha-ed.

"Wait what?" Namjoon laughed in disbelief. " Really ?"

"Wow really! With… Yoongi-hyung though?" Jungkook said.

Jin was going to say something as well, but went quiet by the slow turning of Yoongi's head. He slipped his hand out of Hoseoks and took a deep sip of wine.

"Yeah yeah. We're dating." He said with less than zero enthusiasm. "We're all dating. Yay ."

Hoseok tried to laugh like he wasn't scared Yoongi was about to break up with him.

"Well—"

Jin cut Namjoon off. 

"Yep we're all dating! All of us." He let out a high-pitched laugh. "Just a bunch of fruity date-ers. But let's make one new house rule abundantly clear. No one, and I mean no one." He glared very pointedly at Jimin and Jungkook. "Is allowed to have sex on my couch."

Jungkook sobbed out again, flipping his hood over his head. Jimin sighed and crossed his knee. Yoongi knew he had some audacity, but if what Jin said was true, Jimin really was something to be sitting on that couch still.

"Well fine," he said, "but that doesn't really give us a lot of options. I mean, I'm sure you also want a place to—"

"Just not on my couch, Jimin ."

"Whatever. Fine."

You could choke on the tension in the room, all of them were, minus Hoseok. If it was privacy to be cute together that they wanted, Hoseok understood that well. He wanted a kiss, badly.

"Well, I mean, why don't we just switch rooms?" He cleared his throat and smiled. "I can move in with Yoongi, Seokjin-hyung can move in with Namjoon. Jungkook can move into Jimin's room, and Tae can have the spare."

"That… Hoseok, you're a genius." Jin clapped. "Why didn't I think of that? Seriously. Okay, let's get started."

"Wait, wait. We can't just move?" Namjoon was more quiet than he usually was during these. Finally he spoke up, hunched over his lap. "First of all, the manager would wonder why, and what would we tell him? Plus the fans know the roommate situation as well. If the manager isn't suspicious, they certainly will be. Besides, we all agreed that the current roommate situation was the best for everyone, didn't we?"

"Well, things change, and obviously we don't tell anyone that we're switching? We lie, but is it really a lie when Jungkook sleeps all over the place anyways? And Yoongi falls asleep working on the couch. Who's really going to notice?" Jimin stood, with an innocent smile, despite his words. "If anyone notices, we can just say we're playing a game or something. Strong emphasis on if."

Living with… Hoseok? No that's not right, why did that make his heart flutter. Yoongi already lived with Hoseok. For years now. Even sharing a room, that wasn't something new either. They'd shared hotel rooms before. It was just… there was something different about this which echoed in a corner of his heart. He couldn't place it, but it made him nervous.

"Then it's decided! Wow!" Hoseok clinked his glass against Yoongi's. "I'm moving in."

"Okay!" Jimin jumped up and pushed at Jungkook with a foot until he toppled over. "Let's go, Kookie!"

Jungkook groaned and Jimin bounded off. 

Hoseok smiled, "Aw, they're sweet. I should go get packed up as well. Shouldn't take too long."

Hoseok got up, as did Jin who set a hand on Namjoon's shoulder.

"I'll start moving my things." He said, and Namjoon pinched the bridge of his nose. "Relax already. It's going to be fine."

"You say that now." He sighed, and Jin walked off. "He's going to kill me in my sleep when I snore."

"I heard that!"

Namjoon lowered his tone even more and said, "He's seriously going to kill me."

"I still heard that!"

"How!" Namjoon groaned out, then stood as well. "You coming?"

Yoongi let out a grunt in response and finished his glass.

"I need a stiffer drink."

Jimin came out of his room, calling for Jungkook who was still a puddle on the ground. "Jungkook come on! I seriously can't do it alone. I'm going to need your strong handsome bunny boy strength!"

Yoongi made a face that Namjoon shared. Jungkook wined out a sentiment that landed on deaf ears as he sulked towards Jimin.

"I think… you're right. A stiffer drink is required." Namjoon watched after Jungkook and looked away quickly when Jimin wrapped his arms around his neck and yanked him into Jungkook's bedroom. "They aren't going to be like that all the time, right?" Yoongi's feet dragged across the floor as he got up to help. "No but seriously, Yoongi. This is just a… a honeymoon phase! Right?"

God…. god Yoongi hoped so. 

So many things could change in a friend group when a pair of friends start dating. Yoongi knew it first hand. He and his ex were very careful, but the entire dynamic of the basketball team shifted. It was awkward for everyone everytime they talked and this was even more extreme. Three relationships in one group? Were they crazy? At the very least nothing too drastically changed between Hoseok and him, although that must have been due to the length they had already been dating. What really changed in their friendship? Kisses here and there, a secret title? Even having sex, for the first time—and since, only time—hadn't changed much. Yoongi had expected a few different things. Maybe Hoseok would be embarrassed and unable to look at him straight for a few days. Maybe his head would grow a few sizes with pride. Or maybe he would be so horny he would want a  repeat immediately. Hoseok turned out to be none of those things, he went straight back to being Yoongi's innocent boyfriend, handholding, small kisses, and long glaces included. It made Yoongi uneasy, something so big in their relationship should have changed at least some things. Still, at least some of the group seemed completely unaware of their relationship, which was what Yoongi hoped would last longer. The more everyone else knew, the more inconvenient it would be for him. He could already smell trouble coming from miles away.

***

Yoongi ordered two of his normal drink order to bring back to the booth he had Hoseok had taken. Hoseok wasn't a big drinker and left Yoongi to choose. Although, having set the glass of soju in front of Hoseok, he wondered if he shouldn't have chosen something a little lighter. He shrugged to himself, if Hoseok didn't want it, he would finish his and order something else for Hoseok. Something sweeter maybe?

"So…" Yoongi tried to start small talk, but got lost somewhere in Hoseok's too normal smile.

"So?"

"No, nothing."

He drank, and so did Hoseok. Yoongi felt like they had so much to talk about, but nothing came to mind. Should he talk about them sharing a room? No. How should he explain his unease? Maybe he should have commented on Jimin and Jungkook's relationship, but he didn't really want to talk about other people. Instead he made small talk, about weather and other things no one really cared about. No one except Hoseok, who bantered happily until his drink was emptied. It had been said that their personalities tended to switch after a few drinks. Yoongi wouldn't say it went that far. He liked drinking, and it made his anxiety fizzle to the background, that didn't mean he turned into a full blown happy-Hobi. However, he had no choice but to watch Hoseok's happy-Hobi energy leave the room. It was almost concerning, or at least concerning enough that Yoongi decided they should call it an early night.

"What, are you two leaving already?" Jimin slammed back another shot and Jin looked at him like he had lost some pride. "We just got here!"

Yoongi only offered a wave before calling a taxi for them both.

Hoseok wasn't sure what was wrong with him. He was excited, he was. His mind was swarming with thoughts as dark as storm clouds. All of these things were in Yoongi's room. His clothes, his sheets— but it wasn't really Yoongi's room anymore, it was their room. A shared room, where they were completely alone and would be most nights. He was excited… but this was a lot of change. He loved Yoongi, but that didn't mean he loved all of Yoongi's habits. He left his dirty laundry rot until it was the size of a mountain. Most times when he dropped things, they stayed dropped. Crumbs, nicknacks, papers, pencils— Hoseok had a hard time walking in without tripping most days. It smelt. Not badly, but it smelt strongly of Yoongi, or maybe that was just his bed. Yet, that wasn't even half of it! Were they even compatible as roommates? It wasn't like Hoseok didn't have his own habits. He was a bit of a clean freak, which was annoying and he knew it. Plus he was loud, and annoying. And he was a restless sleeper, which is annoying. He was annoying! Yoongi was going to get tired of him immediately! He was barely on board with the idea in the first place. But that… that really wasn't the worst of it. Hoseok couldn't see straight. He tucked in on himself on the ride back to the dorm, his temple pressed against the cool glass. He needed to cool down, but Yoongi wasn't giving him the chance. He was adorable drunk, laughing, nudging him and trying to tease him. He was having fun, lips pulled into a cute smile, tone light and airy, and the pink which dusted his cheeks… it all… really tested Hoseok's sanity. He needed… he yearned… for it .

Yoongi slammed the front door closed behind Hoseok and hummed to himself. He was so happy that he even flicked off his hat and mask on beat. Hoseok was gone.

"Yoongi."

"Mh~m!" He answered in the same melody as his humming. "What can I do you for, Hobi?"

He was in too good of a mood.

"We're sharing a room now."

"Yep yep." He pulled out his phone and sent a quick text. "Jin's old bed is all yours."

Hoseok's jaw clenched.

"I don't want to sleep on his bed."

Yoongi finally looked at him, his bright smile fading.

"Oh… okay?" He fixed his hair and tried to find his smile again. "You want to move back in with Jimin? I mean, I guess we could, but it might be a bit hard, it is a bit late. You can sleep in Taehyung's room for tonight, he probably won't be home—"

"I want to sleep in the same room." Hoseok clenched his fists— he yearned .

"Oh, then, sorry what's wrong?"

"I want… I really want to sleep in the same room." He let go of the breath he was holded and relaxed. "No, that's not what I wanted to say at all." He took a deep breath and looked Yoongi in the eye. "Yoongi, what I really want is to have sex… with you." Yoongi blinked a few times, and Hoseok took the silent moment to step closer. "We're alone, and have a room all to ourselves."

"Hoseok—"

He closed the distance between them, holding Yoongi's neck and waist. He pulled him in tight, like he wanted to all night— or all week. Hoseok pressed even further, walking them backwards against a wall. 

He yearned for Yoongi.

Yoongi moaned into the kiss when his back hit the wall. Hoseok's knee came between his and Yooongi felt his eyes roll back in his skull beneath his closed lashes. There it was, he knew something was brewing beneath Hoseok's bubbly surface. Something in their dynamic had changed. Yoongi cared more about things like that when he was less buzzed, instead of dwelling, he untucked Hoseok's shirt and tugged at the buttons until they came loose one way or another. Hoseok was up the back of Yoongi's shirt, exploring the skin. Yoongi flipped them over, when Hoseok hit the wall he took the chance to rip off his own shirt and chuckle out an excited laugh. Hoseok tried to jump in for another kiss but Yoongi pressed his chest back into the wall.

"Yoongi, I need…" Yoongi opened the bedroom door next to them. "...you."

"Oh~h really? I hadn't noticed." He was teasing Hoseok, there wasn't anything that could make him happier. "Let's take this into our bedroom, yeah? Unless you intend on fucking me in the middle of the hall?"

Yoongi watched Hoseok's Adam's Apple bob, and drank in the sight of him losing his cool. He couldn't talk, he could only dip his head and stumble into the room. Yoongi cackled while following, kicking in their discarded shirts in before shutting the door.

"Now where were we?"

Hoseok was already back in his mouth, fingers tugging at the waist of his pants. Yoongi shoved them further into the room, spending a shameless amount of time feeling all over Hoseok's chest and torso. 

"I could touch you forever."

"I don't see anyone stopping you."

Hoseok groaned, and pressed Hoseok the rest of the way towards the bed. He expected Hoseok would go down with a light touch and he would be riding reverse cowboy again until he found a better position for his knees. Instead, Hoseok hit the edge of the bed and shoved forwards instead. Yoongi yelped, nearly losing his footing, but Hoseok had him. His knees hit the edge of Hoseok's bed and he tumbled backwards. He didn't have time to breathe, Hoseok crawled over him and kissed down his neck, stealing his breath the lower he went. At his navel, Hoseok twisted his fingers into Yoongi's belt and he had to sit up to keep himself from moaning. He wasn't drunk enough to be making those kinds of noises. Hoseok whipped off his pants and Yoongi's voice betrayed him.

"Hold on, we need lube." He coughed to make his voice go deeper. "It's in the closet, same as before."

"No need." Hoseok yanked off his sweats and pulled open the nightstand drawer. "I bought some. And condoms."

"You… bought…" Yoongi reached into the drawer and picked up the substantial bottle of lube. Beneath it were two unopened packs of condoms. "...all this?" Something about that made Yoongi shiver. He couldn't imagine his innocent flustered Hoseok standing in the sex-asile to pick all this out. His stomach fluttered. "Sit tight… I've gotta use the bathroom for a second."

"No time."

He turned and found Hoseok ready for round three of their makeout session. Hoseok's tongue was in his mouth, his fingers were pushing down his boxers, Yoongi into the kiss and flicked open the cap of the lube. No time , his ass. Yet, by the rushed pace Hoseok set, Yoongi couldn't help but be dragged along. He threw a condom at Hoseok and drenched his fingers in lube. He distracted Hoseok the best he could with his mouth to keep him from looking down as he scissored open his asshole as quickly as he could. Hoseok stole the bottle of lube out of his hands and squirted it over his cock, giving it a few sturdy pumps. Yoongi needed more prep time, but he couldn't wait either. Hoseok ripped away for a rasp of air, leaving Yoongi bright red, lips swollen and wet, and breathing so hard it moved his entire body with each breath. Or maybe he was just so horny that his hips were bucking at every breath.

"You going to put it in?" Yoongi pulled away his fingers and laid back. "Or what?"

"Yeah." Hoseok rasped with a hand pressing Yoongi's thighs wider. He lined his cock up, and moaned into Yoongi's open jaw. "I'll make you feel good."

Hoseok split him open and pressed in until Yoongi's eyes were watering. His head flew back, eyes screwed tight when Hoseok drew back like a wave ready to crash back into him. He did, his balls lapping against Yoongi's ass. The sound jolted through Yoongi's entire body. The lube squelched, Hoseok drew back again, hands digging into Yoongi's thighs to press them wider. Another slap and Yoongi's legs trembled, his hands came up to Hoseok's chest to push away with no strength. His arms dropped across his face like a curtain, he needed to cover his gross shame. 

"Wait… wait—" 

His voice was high and unpredictable, so he clamped his lips shut and held his arms around his face tighter. Wait wasn't right either. If Hoseok stopped, he really would cry.

"Yoongi…" Hoseok's groan was filled with gravel. "Your hips, can you lift them?"

Yoongi tried to hum a 'fuck no' but all that came out was a moan. He pinched his eyes tighter, clenching his knuckles until they were white. He was at the edge of his mind, forcing his sanity to hold firm. He couldn't moan, he just couldn't, not in front of Hoseok. Yet, as Hoseok slowed, his hips raised against his will.

White hot pleasure exploded through Yoongi's nervous system. Hoseok nailed his cock against Yoongi's prostate, and it was too good. There was a very good reason why Yoongi liked anal so much, that little golden buzzer of nerves— a bittersweet pleasure. To be sent to nirvana, but suffer the embarrassment of the noises you could no longer control. Yoongi cried out, a noise loud enough to echo through the room. Hoseok halted and Yoongi cried out again, that time out of desperation rather than pleasure.

"Nono don't stop!" He bucked his hips against Hoseok's. "It feels good, don't stop!"

He was no better than a cringe fanfiction, but it was enough to get Hoseok to start thrusting again. 

"Yoongi—"

"Shut up!" 

Yoongi's teeth strained under the intensity of his clenched jaw. It had been so long— too long. He moaned out again and arched his back up. Hoseok's skin rubbed against his ribs, his balls slapped against his ass, the bedframe knocked into the wall. It was all so loud, but none of it was loud enough to muffle the sounds of his voice. It echoed around Yoongi's mind, crashing into the walls of his nirvana, leaving cracks wide enough that his anxiety could slip through. How could Hoseok fuck him like he wasn't repulsive. It was gross, he was really fucking gross, but if Hoseok did stop, he would break.

" Yoongi ."

"Don't… just don't stop." He heard his voice whimper out, and that was not helping his self-esteem. 

"I won't." Hoseok slowed for just a moment, only to push Yoongi's crossed arms over his head. One hand pinned them there, as another was fisted into the sheets. "I just wanted to watch."

He was drunk, or maybe just crazy, but that didn't stop heat from pooling in the pit of his stomach. Tingling fired through his nerves, lighting across his entire body. Pressure built within him, a pressure that was bound to release and soon. God he didn't want to cum, not yet! Yoongi shoved at Hoseok's hand, but it wasn't enough. He needed to think about something else—like sad cat videos or something—but everything was so present. The noises, his noises, and Hoseok's breathing. White blanched his view. Yoongi came with every swear on his tongue, the same tongue which Hoseok kissed into his mouth. Yoongi twisted, shook, and swore, but Hoseok continued. The overstimulation lit his nerves on fire once more.

"Cum goddamnit! Cum!" He cried out and Hoseok stuttered out a moan, finally releasing his grasp on Yoongi's arms. Yoongi lurched forwards, fingers clawing down Hoseok's back, coming back up to tug at his hair. "You fucking asshole, just cum already!"

That was enough to send him over the edge. Hoseok let out his own rasped cry, falling forwards on Yoongi's shoulder. Everything was fire, white and hot, burning him inside and out. Hoseok mumbled something and his arms came up to hug Yoongi's torso.

"...fuck." Yoongi's legs wouldn't stop shaking. Hoseok adjusted, but he was still inside and Yoongi jolted. "Oi! At least pull out. Seriously, you're crazy." Yoongi pushed at Hoseok, but he didn't move. "Hey. Did you hear me? Pull out."

Hoseok made a small noise, but didn't even attempt to move. Yoongi took a sharp breath and pushed, but he still didn't have any strength. He needed to escape, to run, to crawl into a hole and die.

" Hoseok ." Still no movement. "Did you fall asleep— augh this bastard." Yoongi shoved at Hoseok until he could manage to wiggle free. "You must be crazy! Seriously crazy!" 

Yoongi squatted down at on the floor and tried to scratch his thoughts out of his skull. He needed to run, or stop, drop and roll, anything to douse the heat beneath his skin. Yet, his mind caught up to him as he angrily wiped the jizz off his chest with Hoseok's sock. Crazy…or… really drunk…? Yoongi pursed his lips and threw the sock at Hoseok's exposed ass, he didn't even budge. Huh. Drunk . Whether he was just drunk, or too drunk to remember drunk, Yoongi didn't know, but it was enough to keep his anxiety at bay. Good thing too, he didn't want to have to murder Hoseok out of pure embarrassment. He stood and kicked at Hoseok's feet which were hanging freely off the mattress, he really was fast asleep. You can live for now .

"You're seriously…" He stood up, decidingly ignoring the way his knees wobbled for a moment. "Frustrating."

He walked over to his own bed and stole the quilt, throwing it over Hoseok's body before finding pyjamas. Not that he thought he would be able to sleep. Energy coursed through his body, static and tingly. Instead of laying down just to stare at the ceiling and listen to Hoseok snore, he left the room.

There wasn't much to drink in the dorm, in terms of options, he had water, banana milk, or the half-finished bottle of wine Hoseok bought. He grabbed the bottle by the neck, and a glass, just to lie to himself as if he wasn't going to finish off the bottle. Yoongi did what they were meant to do that night, he sat down with some fucking wine and watched a goddamn movie.

***

Ngh… no wait, Hoseok wait. Nono, shit, fuck— ahn, no! Please please—shit, ah, no fuck, mmmhmmmn! Ugh… god… fuck— Cum goddamnit! Cum! Eyes pinched tight, blurry with tears. Face twisted in agony. Agony? No that wasn't right. It feels good, don't stop!

Hoseok twisted in his sleep, deliriously stumbling into lucidity. 

"...Yoongi?"

His eyebrows furrowed as he found his limbs. He stretched in a bed which felt unfamiliar, in a room which didn't smell like it usually did. He rolled to his back and felt the sheets ruffle across his nudity. He lifted the quilt just to double check, but his brow only further stitched together. Hoseok was wearing a condom. A used condom, hopefully used by him. He reached down and let himself free, glancing around the unfamiliar room once more. Yoongi's room— well no, their room now. Only, it was missing something.

"Yoongi?"

Hoseok shoved himself up and put on something decent enough to search for Yoongi in. He walked past a pile of clothes in the middle of the floor. Come on, in the middle? He reached down and picked up the clothes, but one of the shirts was familiar. It was his. A new button down he had just bought for their date, and it was missing a few buttons? What the hell happened—

Tongues dancing. Let's take this into our bedroom, yeah? Unless you intend on fucking me in the middle of the hall?

Last—

Skin meeting skin. You going to put it in or what?

Night.

Hoseok froze in place as his mind repeated the scene over behind his eyes. Every detail. Every sound . Yoongi… moaning. He moaned for Hoseok— he came. He. Came. Hoseok felt over himself and pinched his skin a few times to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He wanted to scream— what the hell did he do! If he could scrub his mouth out with soap just to take back half the outrageous things he said. The things he did! Was he insane! Yoongi was going to kill him. How the fuck was he still alive? He sat back on his new bed and felt fire burn under his cheeks. Those noises echoed, and they were too much louder than his embarrassment. 

Yoongi woke up to whistling and closing cabinets. He shifted, catching the empty bottle of wine as it slipped from his lap. He didn't mean to fall asleep there, or maybe he did. Even then he couldn't work up the courage to walk back to his bedroom to avoid Jin.

"My my, someone's up early." From Jin's tone, there was no point in trying to lie about where he slept. "Rough night?"

He looked up at Jin, eyes scrunching at the apparent dark circles under his eyes. Then he looked down at the counter, Jin had emptied the entire kitchen on the island.

"Uh?"

"Don't ask." He looked more than tired, much worse than Yoongi felt. His hair was out of place, his face was puffy— this was not the princely hyung Yoongi knew and tolerated. "Jeez, stop looking at me like that… it's just, Namjoon."

"Mm."

"He snores…like godzilla."

"Mh."

"I almost strangled him."

"Mhm."

Yoongi rolled up his sleeves and dove into the mess. He wasn't sure whether they were organizing or making breakfast, but both needed to be done either way.

"I'll never sleep again. Ever. It's impossible. And… and, he told me he jacked off while I was in the shower— who does that? And why tell me? What the hell am I supposed to do with that? What am I doing!" Jin strangled a green onion and threw it on the cutting board, slaughtering it with a knife. "Don't even get me started with this morning. He scratched his ass in front of me then asked me to make him breakfast— I nearly throttled him. Why should I do anything for him!"

Yoongi tried not to make a disgusted face, Jin was gesturing angrily with a knife and he did not intend to be the next stabbing victim.

"So." He looked back down at the spread across the island. "Who… is this for?"

Jin followed his glance then cleared his throat.

"Obviously I'm… just a really good person of course. Were you not home the last time Namjoon nearly set the dorm on fire while making a salad? It would be more trouble if I didn't make him breakfast." If Jin was trying to convince Yoongi of something, he wasn't sure what. "I mean… he also asked really nicely… and apologized for his snoring…and he said he was going to the gym in a bit, so he has to have something nutritious."

"Hm."

"Stop judging me, that's more than normal!"

It absolutely wasn't. Jin was whipped, and Yoongi was disgusted by it. 

"What's more than normal?"

Yoongi felt stress stockpile pressure in his skull. Hoseok turned the corner into the kitchen, wearing nothing more than boxers and a pair of shorts. Yoongi felt his hand go behind his back, his fingers crossing. Please don't remember. Please don't remember. If he remembered, Yoongi would be able to tell by his expression the moment their eyes met. He looked up, black irises bridged an invisible thread, tied together. It wasn't like it was after their first, this time Yoongi not only felt the dynamic shift, he could see it in Hoseok's eyes. 

"You're not hungover, are you?"

"Nope." Hoseok walked closer, brushing his hair away from his glowing skin. "Are you?"

"No."

They had a hundred silent conversations in that single glance. A good morning, a what's up, a notion of longing, then they deviated. Hoseok's eyes said, I need you; Yoongi's said, listen here motherfucker, if you say a word about this out loud I'm going to make a broth from your bones and cook your ass in a soup.

Hoseok let out his toothy smile and leaned over the island.

"How can I help?"

Yoongi tried to repeat the sentiment with his eyes, but Hoseok was either purposefully ignoring him or didn't understand. 

"Perfect! Here." Jin started listing off all the things he wanted to make and Yoongi held in his groan. 

One glaring issued presented itself. Hoseok's head was too big now. All that self consciousness was out the window to make room for this new ego . Yoongi felt a shiver run up his spine and found Hoseok watching him. I just wanted to watch . He bristled, throwing an elbow into Hoseok's side. He never should have coddled Hoseok like he did. Cute and innocent boyfriend his ass. Hoseok lost his virginity and now he was suddenly Big Balls Bang Bang Fuck Man. That needed to change immediately . Hoseok needed to be knocked down ten pegs, at least. Goddamn his feelings, Yoongi spared this asshole from the death penalty. 

Boney ass soup , he said again with his eyes.

Hoseok smiled even wider and Yoongi was lost in his positive energy.

"Woah, a feast! It smells devine!" Namjoon rushed down the hall with a bag draped over his shoulder. His phone started ringing and he groaned. "God my ride's already here— thank you again for making breakfast for everyone Hyung! See you later!"

He rushed out the door before anyone could say anything. The three of them stood there for a moment, Hoseok looking back and forth between the two of them.

"Where the heck is he going?" He chucked to himself for a second. "You know what he looked like? He looked like he was late! For a very important date!"

Jin dropped the knife which was in his hand. It fell straight down and landed tip down into the hardwood. He took a very deep breath and Yoongi held his own, pulling Hoseok out of the way by the elbow as Jin walked away.

"What? Did I say something wrong? What happened?"

Chapter Text

It wasn't because Yoongi didn't want to have sex with Hoseok, that's not why the sex drought happened. What he really wanted, was to deny until Hoseok was desperate, or at least until that night was a distant memory. Yoongi was determined to get Hoseok to beg, like he had the first time they had sex. The first week went by, and Yoongi wasn't surprised when Hoseok didn't bring up sex at all. He had been throwing Hoseok murder eyes every time the conversation drifted that way. Another week went by, then two months. Yoongi got his embarrassment out of his system enough to stop with the murder eyes, Hoseok could have asked for sex anytime, but he didn't. Yoongi couldn't initiate anymore, not after everything. Hey baby, I've been glaring at you everytime you kiss me too long, but now that it's been two months I'm finally horny, so let's fuck. He would sooner murder himself. Instead, they went back to the sweet relationship once more. They made meals together and sat close enough while watching movies to be on the cusp of the definition of cuddling. Although, there really wasn't time to do much more. Yoongi and Namjoon pulled extra hours in the office, even Hoseok joined to help here and there. Two months turned into three, then four. Extra hours in the office turned into all-nighters upon all-nighters. Everyone discovered a whole new definition of busy, a new definition of stress. Song writing and composing like we were running out of time; producing during hours no one should be awake; dance practice, singing lessons— Yoongi was so tired by the end of the day, whatever the fuck "tired" and "end of the day" meant anymore. BTS's popularity was soaring, and before Yoongi knew it, it had been half a year since that night.

Hoseook was in deep shit. The last time he had been in this much trouble was when he blew bubblegum in class and accidentally got it caught in one of his classmate's hair. She had to get her long hair cut down to shoulder length and every girl in the class hated him for months, even though it was an accident! That's how he felt after that night with Yoongi. Not that he accidentally had sex with Yoongi! That definitely was on purpose! He just… accidentally said a whole bunch of outrageous things and accidentally made Yoongi moan really well . He was sure that Yoongi was angry, or embarrassed, or both? Maybe he wasn't actually too sure. He was hated, but only when he was in that mood. Every other mood he had his Yoongi back, quiet, impressive, but most of all cool. Everyone was burnt out and exhausted, but Yoongi went back to getting up at ungodly hours to work. Hoseok wanted to help, like he did last time, but Yoongi wasn't stuck. If he got up to peer out their bedroom door, Yoongi would be scribbling in his composition book without halting. Really, every time Hoseok spoke up, he was in Yoongi's way. That was the last thing he wanted. 

So, every time Hoseok stumbled into his own hormones, he pulled his smile tighter and pushed the feeling deep down, as deep as he could reach.

"...I know we're really busy and all, but it's like he's not very enthusiastic about our relationship. He said he was too tired to do it last night. Jungkook, too tired? Since when ?" Jimin said, and Hoseok blinked a few times, having just registered that they were having a conversation. "Seriously. Since when were we some straight married couple! Sex is like desert! You always have a tiny bit of room left for some! Even then, he had enough energy to hang out with Taehyung, which he didn't even invite me to, I might add." Jimin groaned, kicking one of Jin's couch cushions to the floor. "That's where he is right now. Hanging out with Tae."

"I'm sure he doesn't mean to be un-enthusiastic. Jungkook is just a little awkward, right?" Hoseok tried to smile, setting down his phone. "You should go join them."

Jimin grumbled something and kicked another of Jin's cushions.

"You should pick those up before Jin-hyung kills you."

"Getting murdered is way better than this!" Jimin sat up and reached for the cushion, stopping short to set his face in his hands. "I don't even know what this feeling is. I'm jealous? Or maybe I'm just horny and sad. I feel so pathetic— gah this is so frustrating!"

He got up and stormed towards the front door.

"Where are you going?" Hoseok fixed the cushions for Jimin.

"I'm going to go jump him!"

The door slammed shut.

"Jump him?" 

How was attacking him supposed to make him more enthusiastic about sex? Still, that was one way of putting it— enthusiasm. Hoseok took Yoongi's distance as his fault, not because Yoongi wasn't enthusiastic. Yet, after so long, maybe Hoseok had fallen out of Yoongi's interest? At least sexually? Was it possible to fall out of someone's sexual interest? Hoseok pursed his lips and pulled up google. He typed out, 'How do I keep my boyfriend's sexual interest?" The first thing which popped up was an article that read, 'Popular Ways to Keep Intimacy Interesting: Sex Ideas.' He clicked on it and found a list of sorts. 'One: change things up, most people settle into routines. Try a new position.' A position? Hoseok opened another tab to search up different sex positions, most of which seemed… impossible, or at least impractical. Was sex supposed to be like yoga? Was he meant to stretch first? He scrolled further. 'Two: Vulnerability, it's sexy to be confident. Find something sexy to wear, then strip!' An uncertain noise bubbled out of Hoseok's throat. Maybe he was a bit more confident in his looks since they debuted, but not nearly enough for that. 'Three: surprise acts of service. Help your partner out, surprise them with something nice on stressful days.' That sounded promising! He continued reading the explanation underneath and found a small collaborative forum linked. He clicked on that and found a few examples. Buying something meaningful; that was a good idea, but Hoseok was a little too nervous to go out alone and buying something online would take too long. Giving a massage; a great idea, but did Yoongi even like massages, and how would that help with sex? Either way, the most popular example is what caught Hoseok's attention. 'My husband works from home at the computer all day long, his job is pretty stressful and keeps him up at odd hours of the night. Intimacy is hard to uphold on that kind of schedule, but I found a way! Trust me when I say it works. And all I had to do was sneak under his desk and blow him!' Blow him? Hoseok opened another tab, but when he found the definition he was after, his face went red. Blow… him.  

Scrolling through the rest of the list was useless, the further it went along the more wild the ideas grew. Was doing this really the best way to make sure Yoongi was still interested in him? Su…suck…sucking— doing that with his mouth. Hoseok shivered.

***

Yoongi was pulling another long night/all-night/how many days had he been awake-night. He yawned, needing to rub his eyelids to force them back open. He shifted his leg and kicked a take-out bag, one of Namjoon's. Apparently he forgot to grab it before leaving. Yoongi sighed, he had his own office but was it really his when he was barely alone there? If it wasn't Namjoon, it was one of the producers, or the manager, or Hoseok, or it was one of the guys just to annoy him. Yoongi had enough time to yawn and complain to himself when someone was walking in. At the very least, he hoped it wasn't Taehyung and Jungkook again. They had spent the better part of an hour having a singing competition, trot verse opera. Why it had to be held in Yoongi's office, he seriously didn't know.

He didn't look up or take off his headphones, Yoongi only turned up the volume and looped the audio clip Namjoon had tweaked. He knew that this wasn't solo work, even though technically he started working on the song alone. Either way it was bitter to hear that Namjoon cut out a part that he liked. What made Yoongi more bitter was the fact that it sounded better that way. He groaned and pulled away from the screen, moving towards the keyboard. He stopped in his tracks, glancing slightly to the left where he found Hoseok crouched at the edge of his desk. His eyes narrowed for a moment, watching as Hoseok crawled, his ass sticking up as he maneuvered his way around the cables and mess. Instead of asking what the hell he was doing, Yoongi only slipped off his headphones and watched. Hoseok's knee hit the take out bag and he swore under his breath, trying his best to crawl around it. Yoongi pulled his chair back further to give him more space. Usually when Hoseok came in, it was to offer help, but Yoongi was struggling to think of how crawling under his desk was helpful. Hoseok finally found a spot, turning to face Yoongi's direction; he was starting to straighten when Yoongi couldn't help his curiosity any longer.

"Hoseok what are you—"

He jolted up, slamming the back of his head against Yoongi's desk, falling back down with a moan of pain and holding his head.

"Are you… okay?"

"Mmh!" He squeeked, tears building in his eyes as he sat back up again, this time mindful of the desk. "You weren't supposed to see yet."

Yoongi raised an eyebrow, but Hoseok pulled his chair back in. Yoongi had to pull his legs further apart to keep from hitting Hoseok.

"What… are you doing?"

"Nothing."

Hoseok was still rubbing the back of his head so Yoongi gave up. Apparently Hoseok was no better than the kids that day, just showing up to distract him. He pulled his headphones back on and stopped the loop, going back to listen to the old version one last time. He played the new one a second time, and resigned to Namjoon's talent. Still, even if Namjoon's kick drum sounded better than his keyboard run, it didn't mean it was perfect. He tweaked the backing sounds, picking up the pace Namjoon left. The beat was running, yet didn't sound like it had enough energy. Yoongi shifted over to the keyboard and fixed the sound to a more complimentary one, playing a complementary beat behind the drum. It needed more energy, almost like it needed a heartbeat. Yoongi pushed the beat, negating the happier vibe the unfinished song had to a more… well not more, but different vibe. Instead of running towards something, it sounded now like running away from something. Yoongi hummed and recorded the sound as he played it back a second time. He pulled back towards Hoseok and nearly kneed him, forgetting that he was there.

"Sorry… sorry— uh, actually, do you want to hear?"

Yoongi unplugged his headphones.

"Oh, yeah, okay." Hoseok said, not moving an inch from his spot under the desk.

"Do you… want to sit on the couch?"

"Nono." He laughed a highpitch laugh. "I'm good here."

"Oh…kay?"

Yoongi connected his speaker and hit play on the clip he had just recorded. He watched, with tense shoulders as Hoseok nodded his head to the beat. Before the clip could end Yoongi paused it and went back to the keyboard, it wasn't that something was wrong, but he could do better than that.

"One sec." He recorded the section a second time, that time changing the tone to a more muffled sound. Muteing the pounding, but keeping the energy.

"There, here, is that better?"

He played it one more time.

"It's… different?"

"A better different, or a worse different?"

Hoseok hummed. "I'm not sure… but I think I like the second one better. Although I couldn't tell you why."

"Then I'll send Namjoon the second one." Yoongi slid down in his chair, holding his hands to his face. "If we keep changing it, it's never going to get done."

He yawned once more, seriously needing to sleep soon. Yet, that one audio clip wasn't the only one he needed to check before leaving. Namjoon had sent him five more things, each with an essay long explanation for the sound he was going for. 

Warmth settled on his knees, Hoseok held them for a second before shifting upwards.

"Hoseok." His hands faltered and Yoongi sighed. "What are you really doing down there? And don't say 'nothing.'"

"I…" He gripped tighter, rubbing into Yoongi's thighs. "Massage."

"Massage?"

"Yeah."

Yoongi pulled his face out of his hands. Whatever Hoseok was doing, it seemed innocent enough. If anything it looked worse, far worse, than he must have known. Either way, it wasn't like Hoseok was going to try anything in the office. Despite the time of night, Yoongi knew he wasn't the only one burning the midnight oil.

Hoseok massaged deeper into his thighs. If he wanted to give Yoongi the wrong idea, he was doing a very good job. Finger tips pressed into his inner thighs, rotating to his outer thigh to reach higher, then he roasted back in. Yoongi felt heat shift under his skin, but he swallowed down the feeling to focus. If he didn't finish that night, he would just be adding more things on his already busy schedule for the next day. There seriously wasn't enough hours in a day. 

He froze, Hoseok's hands moved to the waistband of his jeans. He opened the button, then the zipper. Yoongi caught his hands when Hoseok pulled open the fabric.

"Hoseok."

Hoseok's bottom lip was between his teeth.

"Take off your pants." He took a sharp breath, as if surprised by the words that came out of his own mouth. "For the massage… I mean."

Yoongi looked over his shoulder at the door. Through the fogged over glass he could tell that most of the lights had been turned off for the night, which meant the manager had driven Namjoon home, hopefully that meant he drove Jungkook and Taehyung as well. Those were the last people in the building who knew the code to his office. 

A massage… actually sounded really nice. Although, he would have preferred Hoseok to start with his shoulders, not his legs.

"Fine…" 

He lifted his hips for a second and Hoseok helped him pull the fabric down to his ankles. Hoseok didn't waste much time, starting once again to massage his thighs.

The second audio clip Namjoon had sent was a much slower beat, jazzy almost, or R&B. Yoongi couldn't tell if it was meant to be sensual, or that feeling was just coming from Hoseok's hot breath on his inner thighs.

"Hey Yoongi."

"One sec." Yoongi nodded his head to the beat, thinking of a complimentary chorus. It had to match the mood, something slow, but deep. He tried to push off to go back to the keyboard, but Hoseok held his legs in place. "I said one sec, I just need to—"

"Take off your boxers too."

Hoseok looked up at him, still on his knees, cheeks red, but eyes set with determination. Yoongi was waiting for Hoseok to beg, but this wasn't that. This wasn't a question, it was demand. Just like that night, Yoongi felt the gears in his mind come to a grinding halt.

"For the massage?"

"No." Hoseok pushed Yoongi's knees further apart. "It's just… they're in my way."

Yoongi bit down hard, holding back a moan, holding down his hormones. He really wanted to, he did, but he was too busy. He sucked in a sharp breath and forced a small chuckle out.

"You must be joking." He tried to push towards the keyboard again, but Hoseok kept him still. "Hoseok, I need to get this done."

"Yeah, I'll let you work." His grip softened and Yoongi pulled towards the keyboard. Yoongi hit one chord before Hoseok pushed another of his buttons. "But I'll make you feel good while you're at it."

"Hoseok." His resolve wasn't shaking, no matter the intensity of Yoongi's disapproving stare. He pressed the same chord, then a different one, neither were right. He had lost the tune. "Fine." He rolled back to Hoseok. "Do whatever you want, but I have to get this done."

"If you want my input let me know." He smiled wide. "I'll be down here!"

"Yeah yeah."

He clicked play on the audio file again, it was still that same sensual beat, especially when Hoseok's motives were no longer secret. He didn't hesitate, hands instantly pulling at the waistband of Yoongi's boxers until he lifted his hips. For Hoseok's sake—or his own—Yoongi wrote down the chord progression instead of moving back to the keyboard.

Hoseok felt his heart rate in his throat. He spent five odd minutes in the parking lot googling how to do this , not wanting to completely humiliate himself. 'Keep your mouth wet, tell him his dick is big and tastes good, watch out for your teeth and be enthusiastic'— or at least that was what the website said. Although the website did say a few other things that Hoseok wasn't prepared for. 'Reach some other endogenous zones. Lick his balls, reach up and play with his nipples, or, if you're more adventurous, trail your tongue down south to the back.' Did it make Hoseok non-adventurous to not want pubs on his tongue? Or was he the weird one, was everyone doing this? Was he the only one so inexperienced? Jimin seemed so open when he talked about his sex life earlier and Yoongi seemed to know everything. 'Everyone is different, so cater to his preferences.' Hoseok didn't even know his own preferences, how was he meant to know Yoongi's! Hoseok collected saliva in his cheeks and stared down Yoongi's soft dick. He had hoped Yoongi would at least be in the mood while he was doing this, but that didn't sway his mind. He drove over to suck Min Yoongi's cock, so he was going to suck his boyfriend's cock.

The speakers kept dragging along that sombre tune, Hoseok pulled Yoongi in closer, just so that he couldn't see— Hoseok wasn't there to be a distraction. All he had to do was suck and lick, and mind his teeth; all quietly enough that Yoongi could keep working at the same time. That way both of their issues were solved. Yoongi, with finishing his work, and Hoseok, with… finish -ing.

He reached into Yoongi's lap and grabbed a hold of his cock. That much he knew how to do already. It feels better with lube . He paused, like he had before he had left the dorm. Was he supposed to bring lube if he was just doing a blow job? Was lube safe to ingest— not that he was drinking it, but still. What if it tasted gross! He did a single pump, it was dry, but soft. Hoseok was sure it would be fine, but still, Yoongi said he liked lube for handjobs. Instead Hoseok leaned in, swirling around the saliva he had collected in his mouth before aiming Yoongi's cock towards his lips.

"Hoseok." Yoongi sighed as he leaned back just enough to catch the sight. "If it's too much, you don't have to. I can always put my pants back on."

Hoseok's eyebrows drew in— was he really taking that long that Yoongi noticed? Why was he so hesitant? He could do this. It was just a tiny blow job—  nothing to panic over. He swallowed hard before speaking, to make sure the saliva didn't slip out of his mouth as he said, "I've got things handled down here, go back to work!"

Out of spite, Hoseok pumped Yoongi's cock again, a task made easier when Yoongi's cock began to harden.

Yoongi felt dizzy. He was sleep deprived, had been staring at a screen to long, and now he was horny. That was a cocktail to make anyone groan, it wasn't just because Hoseok pressed the flat of his tongue to the underside of his head. It didn't help that he was listening to the same thing over and over again. You can only loop something a certain amount of times before your mind becomes a turn table itself. He sighed again, this time with hot air as his lip quivered. Hoseok got the whole head in his mouth, letting him soak in hot saliva. He really didn't know what he was doing down there, but that was for the best. Yoongi wouldn't be able to get a thing done if he could. Hoseok pressed in further, capturing most of Yoongi's dick in his mouth with all that saliva, then he swallowed. Yoongi felt his toes clench, and the screen went dark with inactivity. 

Hoseok pulled off, tapping his tongue to the roof of his mouth for a moment. Yoongi had grown inside his mouth, he had felt it. That meant he was doing well? Right? He went back in for more, using his tongue to guide Yoongi's head back towards his throat. Once he was in all the way, Hoseok pulled back again, sucking a little harder— how hard was he meant to suck? Yoongi seemed to like things more gentle, but reacted when things were harder. What was Hoseok supposed to do with that? He wanted to hear Yoongi moan like that night, but not if he only got to hear it so little often. Or was that something like Halloween, it only came around once per year. His mind couldn't stop thinking about useless things. Still… if this was feeling good for Yoongi, he was not very receptive. He didn't say a word, and Hoseok couldn't see his face. The only thing he had to go on was Yoongi's legs, and they seemed pretty cool and collected.

"You… it's…" Hoseok cleared his throat. "Your… dick… is really big." He pinched his eyes closed from embarrassment. How was that supposed to make a blowjob feel better! "And it tastes good— well, it is a bit salty though."

Yoongi tugged on his hair, trying to pull his sanity back to his work, but Hoseok had him. He kept the sound playing, but leaned back, parting his legs wider to give Hoseok more room.

"You're… seriously crazy…"

Hoseok pulled off again, the salty flavour had doubled. He watched as a bead of precum bubbled out of the tip of Yoongi's dick, running over the edge, then slowly down the shaft.

"I wanted to do this for so long…" The example statements from the website felt foreign on his tongue, but regardless, Yoongi reacted. "You feel good in my mouth."

Yoongi's ears buzzed red, along with his face. Pressure built in his torso, but it wasn't enough. He wanted to cum. Yoongi kicked off one of his shoes and slid his ankle out of his pants and boxers. He brought it over Hoseok's shoulder and let his head lull back. 

"Does that feel good?" Yoongi gripped the arms of his chair harder, only humming in response. "Yoongi?"

"It's fine."

"Only fine?" He said, "should I do it tighter and faster?"

Yoongi hummed again, not exactly sure what his own noise meant. It was high, but not for a yes, but it wasn't a no either. Maybe it was a noise of frustration, or it was a moan. 

Hoseok took it as a moan, sucking Yoongi cock into his mouth harder, forcing his head to bob up and down.

Yoongi couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to cum— needed to cum. He reached down and tugged at Hoseok's hair until he came free from his crotch.

"Too hard?"

Yoongi dropped his leg on the arm and pushed away from the desk.

"Come here."

"But your work—"

"Come here."

"Okay okay."

As soon as Hoseok was in kissing distance, Yoongi held his face and forced him in. Hoseok caught the armrests and Yoongi kissed him senseless. Teeth clashing, lips smashing— the taste of his cock on both of their tongues intertwining. Yoongi reached down and yanked at Hoseok's sweatpants, digging his hands in the waistband of his underwear before Hoseok caught his hands.

"Wait wait! What are you doing?"

"What do you mean what ?" Yoongi tried to tug the boxer-briefs off again, but Hoseok held firm. "You started it."

"Started— what? Just." Hoseok pulled away, going back on his knees. "Just let me finish you off like this."

Yoongi's nails clawed into the edge of his chair. He wanted to hiss, or kick, something to stop the drawn out torment of frustrating pleasure. Hoseok slurped in his cock, bobbing his head once again, hands still massaging up Yoongi's thighs. He set his leg over Hoseok's shoulder again, tugging at his hair as a low long moan rasped from his open mouth. He wanted to cum so badly he couldn't think straight.

"God just put a finger in at least." 

In? Hoseok looked at his fingers, then back up at Yoongi. He wanted something, but Hoseok didn't understand what his fingers had to do with a blow job. Yoongi shuffled further on the chair, his second leg coming around Hoseok's back. Yoongi tugged him in, pulling on him like this wasn't enough— how it wasn't, Hoseok didn't understand. If Yoongi was… if Yoongi did… that… to him— fuck . Hoseok felt pressure build within himself. The fantasy of Yoongi between his legs had his hips moving. He wanted to go all the way as well, to have his dick inside of Yoongi. Inside . Hoseok felt his eyes bulge, that's what Yoongi was asking. 

"Oh… I… uh…I don't, I can't just—"

"Then put your cock in!"

Yoongi looked like he was on the verge of tears, Hoseok didn't know what to do. This had been a bad idea. Yoongi was going to murder him later.

"I can't… I didn't bring lube."

"You came here for sex and didn't bring lube!"

"I came here to blow you!"

Yoongi groaned and kicked a heel into Hoseok's back. 

"Fine… just, don't look."

Hoseok watched with wide eyes as Yoongi pressed his middle finger into his mouth. It came out of his mouth with a pop, sheen with saliva. Yoongi shuffled again, moving one of his legs to the armrest, and his arm reached below his hip. He could see it in perfect view, Yoongi pressed his finger into his asshole. Hoseok still hadn't continued sucking, so the noise which came out of Yoongi's mouth, he hadn't caused it. His finger pressed in the rest of the way, past the second knuckle and Hoseok felt his hips buck. He wanted to have sex.

"Keep… keep going." 

Yoongi reached down with his free hand and brushed through Hoseok's deep brown hair. He didn't think he needed to, it looked like Yoongi could make himself cum. Was that because he didn't know what Yoongi's preferences were? Or was it because he was inexperienced? Or was it because Yoongi was more enthusiastic about sex when Hoseok wasn't a factor. He swallowed the lump in his throat, then took Yoongi's cock back in his mouth.

He was melting. Yoongi's blood was on fire, building an impossible pressure in his lower stomach. He flexed his finger up, trying to reach, but his bundle of nerves was just out of reach. That must have been for the best, but either way it was frustrating. One finger wasn't nearly enough, just the blowjob wasn't enough either. He wanted to have sex.

"There… just…" He sucked in a deep breath and tried to force his body to take this as enough. He had cum with less, so he could cum like that. "Just like that…" He threw his head back and tangled his fingers into Hoseok's hair. He wanted more, he wanted so much more. "I'm… going to cum, take it out of your mouth."

Hoseok hummed flatly.

"Hoseok, trust me you don't want—"

He hummed another flat note, clutching tighter on Yoongi's thighs.

"H…Hoseok… wait…" Yoongi's breathing hitched in his throat, and instead of a moan his vocal cords vibrated out a whimper. Then another, as his hips pressed up into Hoseok's chin.  "Wait…waitwait!" 

The pressure snapped and he slapped a hand over his mouth to keep his voice in. It wasn't perfect, a frustrating little orgasm, but an orgasm nonetheless. He caught his breath, still holding a hand over his mouth as he watched Hoseok pull off of his dick with his eyebrows furrowed. A silent moan parted Yoongi's lips before clarity hit.

"God… sorry, hold on." He pulled his finger out and pushed his chair backwards. "I'll get you the trash so you can spit it out. It's…" He searched around the room quickly, but it was nowhere to be found. "Hold on— don't swallow it either." The face Hoseok gave him, cheeks full, features twisted in disgust. Yoongi couldn't help the laugh which started as just a puff of air, until he felt his smile part wide. "Sorry it's just… that was…" He laughed harder. "What are we doing— are we crazy?"

He dropped off of his chair and caught Hoseok's cheeks. Hoseok pulled away for a second, his face twisting even further in disgust, but Yoongi pushed forwards until their lips were touching. He licked the tight line of Hoseok's lips, pressing in until finally Hoseok opened his mouth. He licked in, sucking in the jizz-saliva concoction into his mouth and swallowing. He licked in further, making sure he got the rest out of Hoseok's mouth. It wasn't really a kiss, not really, more so a mouth cleaning. Yoongi had never done that before.

"Okay! Okay!" Hoseok shoved at his chest until Yoongi finally pulled away. "Enough already." He stuck out his tongue and made a face, scrapping his tongue off with his jacket sleeve. "Did you seriously swallow that! It was so gross!" Yoongi laughed even harder. "I'm serious! That was the most disgusting thing I've ever had in my mouth! It tasted like a biohazard! Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Yoongi pulled on his boxers, his jeans had gotten tangled in the wheels of his office chair. "God… let's go home."

Hoseok continued to wipe at his mouth.

"But what about your work? Did you finish?"

"No." Yoongi stood up. He had to unlock his computer to stop the song from playing. "But… maybe I've been working too hard. I'm… sorry, I've been a bit distant."

Hoseok stood up as well, his boner long deflated.

"Well… we've been busy, it's not your fault." Yoongi leaned against the edge of his desk, watching as Hoseok untangled his jeans from the chair and handed them over. "I'm sorry for this… crazy idea. Maybe I was a bit too horny to think straight."

"Just…" Yoongi moved closer, hands sliding around Hoseok's hips. "Next time bring lube?"

"...Yeah."

Yoongi tipped his nose up and leaned it further, but Hoseok made another face and pushed his hands away.

"We both have to brush our teeth and wash our mouths at least three times before kissing." Yoongi couldn't help the giggle from falling out of his lips. "And you're so giggly! What's up with that? Are you drunk or something!"

"Just… so… so sleep deprived." Yoongi dropped his face into the crevice of Hoseok's neck. "Drive me home?"

"Yeah…" Hoseok kissed the top of Yoongi's head and hugged him tight. "I thought you'd never ask."

Chapter Text

He was… crazy happy. The internet stranger Hoseok had trusted was right. One blow job, and their intimacy issues were solved. Anytime they were home alone, Hoseok and Yoongi would have sex, plus once a week, they always set one day aside to go on a date of sorts. It was like actual dating. Yoongi cooked for him and he drew cat faces with sauce. Hoseok could lift his sheets up and Yoongi would join him for a nap. It was so domestic. It felt nicer than home, nicer than heaven. It really was love. 

He was crazy happy, but a part of Hoseok felt like he wasn't doing enough. He wanted to parade around the streets hand-in-hand screaming his love from the rooftops. He wanted to kiss his boyfriend every time he wanted, not just behind closed doors. Most of all, he wanted to be on the same page as Yoongi without having to ask. Hoseok was always asking; for permission, for guidance, for support. He had done all this growing up, all this maturing, but still was so unsure all the time. Yoongi was patient with him, sure, but for how long? Wouldn't he get annoyed eventually? Moreso, shouldn't he? Hoseok must have been a nuisance. Can I do that? Does it feel good like this? Hoseok pinched his eyes closed and pressed his face into the steering wheel. Tell…tell me what to do…please. I want to do this…tell me how to do this . His own pathetic begging echoed in his skull. Why was he so pathetic? Hoseok wanted to tell the world how much he loved Yoongi, yet he couldn't even look his sister in the eye when she asked why he had been so happy lately.

"What are you two even fighting about?"

"Tae, not now, let's just go." Namjoon ushered Jungkook and Taehyung into the back of the manager's car. "You wanted to hear the rap verse I was working on, didn't you?"

"Yeah!" He bounded for the front seat. "Do I get a verse on the next mixtape?"

" Maybe ."

Namjoon shoved a sunken-in Jungkook into the backseat and clipped the seatbelt for him as if he were a toddler. Hoseok stepped out of the car, unable to catch Namjoon's eye as he walked to the other side of the car and got in. 

Who was fighting? Hoseok walked towards the dorm, giving a light wave to Taehyung as the manager pulled out. If Namjoon and Seokjin were fighting, then why did Jungkook seem so upset? He tentatively pulled open the door, sure to be quiet in case he was about to stumble straight into Seokjin's wrath.

"Why are you treating me like I'm in the wrong! I already told you what happened!" Jimin screamed across the kitchen and Seokjin groaned.

"Jimin-ah if you yell at me one more time about this I won't take you for dinner."

"Fine fine. I just, ugh I'm so angry. My ass hurts enough from bottoming, then he went and dropped me. I can barely even sit right now!" 

"Jimin."

Hoseok tried to take a step back, but it was already too late. 

"Hobi-hyung! Thank god, please tell me you're on my side. Am I crazy for being upset? You know Jungkook didn't even apologize just ' oops ' then he walked away!"

"I—"

"Come on Jimin." Seokjin tapped his watch and held open the door. "Dinner. Let's go."

"Yeah yeah." Jimin whined all the way to the coatrack and then out the door. "But if you seriously wanted to apologize on Jungkook's behalf you would pay using his card—"

The door shut behind Hoseok and he was left in a suddenly silent kitchen with encroaching panic. A horrifying revelation made itself known in Hoseok's brain as his skin drained of colour. He snacked his phone out of his pocket, and his fears were confirmed and answered ten-fold. He had to sit, shift through information, take it all in— how horrible of a person was he! All that time he had been hurting Yoongi. Sex hurt, but only in the position Yoongi was in. Hoseok shook his head, no that can't be right. Yoongi had said he felt good— and Hoseok had asked him once! He had asked him if sex hurt him and what did Yoongi say? He said it didn't… right? Tumbling thoughts rolled into others and gained weight in Hoseok's mind. A headache singed his temple forcing his head to rock forwards into his hands. He was such an idiot. Why did he think Yoongi had been so angry with him, because he was embarrassed? No! Because he hurt him. And he had just acted like a complete idiot, complaining about being horny and not getting enough attention. He thought it was nice to be intimate so often now, but this was the reason they weren't before. God he was a selfish horrible person! How awful can one person get! Hoseok shrank further in on himself. 

Yet… something still wasn't right. Yoongi might have been the kind of person to keep things hidden, especially if it was about his health, but he wasn't a masochist or anything like that. The night he blew Yoongi in his office, Yoongi had almost begged for sex. He wanted it, so it couldn't have been that painful, right? If that was the case, then Hoseok decided there must be a technique to make it painfree. Hoseok looked back down at his phone and tried to recall the website he used last time. It helped then, so maybe it could help again.

***

At some point during Hoseok's research, he had heard Yoongi arrive home from the office. He exchanged a panicked "Welcome home!" and Yoongi returned it with a "I haven't slept in days, good night." He looked too tired to care about why Hoseok had a notepad on his lap and a laptop pulled open with the most instructional pornhub video he'd ever seen. The name of the 'painfree game' was being slow, having a shit ton of lube— and most importantly preparations! Hoseok restarted the video for what seemed like the hundredth time and looked back on the notes he had taken from scrolling in a Q&A forum. Again and again he stumbled into that line about preferences. That everyone is different and liked different things— well how was that helpful! If everyone liked different things then what was the point, he could study for years and still fumble like a virgin because he didn't know that one person's preference. 

Hoseok slammed the pen down and raked a hand through his hair. Screw everyone else's preferences, he didn't know Yoongi's preference. What kind of boyfriend was he? Seriously. Hoseok tucked his tail between his legs and stumbled towards their shared bedroom. He didn't want to have to rely on Yoongi even more, but he didn't have any other options. If he wanted to understand Yoongi's preferences, he was going to have to ask. He knocked first, and earned a gravel bellow in response. That was not a good sign. Still, he pushed through the door. In the end he was doing this for Yoongi. To not only make sex feel better, but to make it painfree!

 "Yoongi…"

He had been dreaming… Yoongi was just at the three pointer line, he had just thrown the winning shot, it was rolling around the rim, ready to dip into the net— the dream ripped away. Yoongi pinched an eye open, practically growling at the disturbance. He had finally fallen asleep. Finally . So maybe it was his own fault. He had gotten into the swing of making music after the second part of HYYH was released. When the dust finally settled he wanted to make more. More punishment apparently, creativity hit in the AMs after long working days and didn't quit despite the way Yoongi's body was deteriorating from lack of sleep. He needed sleep.

"Yoongi, I need to—"

"Fuck off."

He rolled over. It didn't matter who it was. Yoongi didn't even care if the dorm was on fire, he was going to fucking sleep.

"But Yoongi I really need to—"

"Hoseok." He tried desperately to hold back his homicidal thoughts. "I need an hour. Fuck off for—"

"Teach me how to finger you!"

There was… absolutely no type of mental state Yoongi could have been in to properly digest Hoseok's words.

" What. "

It wasn't a question, it was a demand for some sort of elaboration, or explanation, or maybe he was waiting for Hoseok to laugh and point out the punchline. 

"I just…" Hoseok sighed and took a seat on the edge of Yoongi's bed. "I… want to be good enough for you."

He wasn't looking at Yoongi, and from the way his voice shook it was because he was going to cry. Yoongi's sleep deprivation fought tooth and nail against his consciousness, but eventually he sat up and abandoned the idea of sleep.

"You're… more than enough." Yoongi pressed a hand against Hoseok's back. 

"Am I really though? I'm an idiot who can't do anything right— I don't know anything, and I didn't even know I'd been hurting you all this time."

"Whoa… whoa . Hurting me?" Yoongi kicked his legs out of the sheets and joined Hoseok on the edge of the bed. "What are you talking about? Where is this coming from?"

Yoongi was wrong, Hoseok wasn't crying, instead his eyebrows were set.

"Answer me honestly. Have I ever… hurt you? During sex."

Yoongi felt concern break through his body. What the hell did he do to make Hoseok so self-conscious? The last he thought was that Hoseok was too confident about sex— was he being too abrasive? Yoongi wanted to throw himself through the nearest wall. If only he was more patient, or more nurturing, or god, if Hoseok had a girlfriend before they started dating, then he wouldn't be so… sad .

"Listen, I know I can be… difficult. But that's on me, that's not on you. I'm sorry that I made you feel bad, that's not what I want." Yoongi sighed and leaned over, dropping his head on Hoseok's shoulder. "I need you to know that you're more than enough. You're actually too good,  I definitely don't deserve you."

"Then… I haven't hurt you during sex?"

"You're way too sweet." Yoongi ruffled Hoseok's hair. "Worrying about me that much, you might actually make me blush." 

He shuffled back under the sheets and left a corner open for Hoseok to come cuddle— crisis averted. He was worried about Hoseok's confidence, but more so what would happen if he completely lost it. Yoongi was not ready to admit just how much he liked their new sex arrangement. It wasn't regulated, so it was always interesting and exciting. It was flexible, and natural, and he didn't feel any pressure to initiate, or anxiety if he initiated too often or not enough. Yoongi needed sex to stay evenkeel. All the stress and anxiety from work, all the pressure, he needed a space to just be him and Hoseok.

"Yoongi… did you just… dodge the question?" The smile he had turned downwards. Hoseok looked at him as if he had just unveiled a scandal. "So I did hurt you!" Hoseok jumped up and began to pace, yanking at his hair. "Oh my god, I'm the worst scum of the earth. Worse than pondscum. Complete garbage."

"Hoseok, come on." He sat back up. "It's not like that. It's not your fault!"

"Who's fault is it then? My penis!"

Yoongi groaned.

"Well if you want to be technical about it, it's my asshole's fault." He muttered, racking his brain for some way to fix it. "Listen, it doesn't hurt-hurt, it just, it's bareable, okay?"

"Bareable! So every time we have sex, I get to feel great and you're just bearing through the pain!"

"No! That's not it either, it does feel good! It just…" Yoongi scratched harder at the back of his neck. "It just takes a while."

That seemed to calm Hoseok, enough that he stopped pacing.

"I… want to make you feel good." He sat back down on the edge of the bed. "I meant what I said earlier… about you teaching me. I was actually looking up techniques and ways to make it less painful, so I'm not completely unsure of what I'm doing…anymore. But…teach me how you like it?"

"Of course." Yoongi tried not to think too hard on what Hoseok said, more so what it meant. He really was just concerned about him. Yoongi knew it already, but he didn't deserve Hoseok, not at all. "You're seriously way too sweet…" Yoongi lifted Hoseok's Chin with his finger. "Hey… I love you."

Hoseok pressed forwards and captured their lips together. Enough or not, and even as an idiot, Yoongi still loved him. Hoseok kissed Yoongi until he was between his legs, Yoongi tried to slow down the kiss, but Hosoek wanted faster, deeper. His hand traveled down, over Yoongi's hip, then up and around to cup his ass cheek.

"Oh uh…" Yoongi tilted his chin up and Hoseok peppered kisses down his neck. "You meant right now?"

"Yeah." He squeezed Yoongi's ass and nearly made himself moan. "No one's home." He pressed a thumb into the waistband of Yoongi's boxers, pressing the fabric down as far as he dared before Yoongi finally gave the go ahead. "So let's take advantage."

It hit Yoongi like a train, only far… far too late. He had so willingly agreed to it, he didn't even think twice. Teaching Hoseok how to finger him. What the hell was he thinking! He could barely finger himself in front of Hoseok. He still left to prep in the bathroom most of the time. Yoongi couldn’t think of a bigger turn off when the mood was right. I want to fuck you so bad, but give me a few minutes to scissor open my asshole. Hoseok got up to grab lube from his bedside table and Yoongi felt his heart pound in his throat.

“Hoseok, are you sure you want to do this?”

“I’m sure.”

He sat back down and pulled at Yoongi’s Boxers. Yoongi lifted his hips and helped push them the rest of the way down. 

“Listen it’s—“ Hoseok set his hands on Yoongi’s knees and attempted to part them but Yoongi clutched onto his wrists. “ Listen . Hoseok… you might think it’s gross.”

The look Hoseok gave Yoongi was pure offence.

"You are not gross!"

"Maybe you don't think I am." Yoongi put emphasis on 'I' outloud, but he meant it on the 'maybe.' Yoongi was more than self-conscious, he was worried. A very large part of him was scared of being seen, that Hoseok would glance at his vulnerability and run scared. "But… you might not have the same feelings for my asshole." He tried, he really tried to push away the fear, to be understanding of Hoseok wanting to experiment and further experience. He tried to force a smile on his lips. "You thought my jizz was pretty revolting."

"But that was because it tasted gross, not because of what it was! If it tasted like strawberries I'd blow you all the time!"

"Don't…" Yoongi's stomach fluttered. "Don't say that."

"But I mean it!" Hoseok tightened his grasp on Yoong's knees, pouring every ounce of care into his tone. "I love you, all of you. No matter what."

Care poured over the fires of Yoongi's anxiety, leaving only smoldering coals of embarrassment. He sighed, and let his knees open a few inches, staring into Hoseok's eyes as he did. There was no fight left in Yoongi, not against this. Hoseok was waiting for him to say something, but Yoongi's lips only parted open to allow for his heavier breathing.

Hoseok felt his heart leap into his throat, then fall into his balls. His fingers shook for a second, when he realized that Yoongi wasn't stopping him anymore. He could part Yoongi's legs wide open, because he would let him.

"Can… can I?" 

He hated himself for needing further permission. It was already clear enough that he was allowed, yet he still hesitated.

"...y..yeah."

Hoseok pressed Yoongi's knees wider and it didn't escape him how Yoongi's cock hardened. Despite how hesitant he was to let Hoseok do this, he at least seemed to be turned on. Go slow, be patient, check in with Yoongi— that's all that was repeating throughout Hoseok's brain as Yoongi shuffled. He took the pillow out from under his head and set it under his hips. It lifted him up by only an inch or so, but the view change was drastic. Hoseok couldn't look away. Yoongi's milky asscheeks, soft and pillowy in his hands. Yoongi's pubes were sparse and short, pointing towards Yoongi's pinched asshole. He used to think Yoongi didn't grow hair there, but he shaved it, often. Hoseok noticed the night he'd given Yoongi the blowjob, they were there, and longer then. Yoongi didn't shave there when he was busy, that's what it logically meant. Regardless, Hoseok felt like Yoongi was doing it for him. Like it was Yoongi's way of saying he prepared that far in advance for sex, that he thought about sex outside of when they were having it— that he thought about Hoseok when he wasn't around… and when he was naked in the shower. Hoseok flicked open the bottle of lube and swallowed hard. He dribbled some lube over his finger, gulping once more as he hovered the bottle over Yoongi. A single droplet of lube dropped down, landing on Yoongi's inner thigh as a clear droplet. It drew a sheen line towards Yoongi's asshole and Hoseok felt his breath catch in his throat. He poured more, the pinched in skin opened at him, then shut again, like it was calling to him. Hoseok extended a tentative pointer finger, pointing at the hole as if he'd made a discovery. The research hadn't completely shaken his hesitance, but it did help. He pressed forwards, the tip of his finger set ever so gently. The hole winked at him again, opening just a touch, and closing around his fingertip. He couldn't stop the "woah" from leaving his mouth as he pulled away. It was stronger than he thought, greedily wanting to pull him in. Hoseok wouldn't let it, he needed to go slow. No matter how strong it was, he was going to make this slow and painfree.

"Just… push it in, when you're ready." 

Yoongi had sat up on his forearms, watching from behind his bright blue bangs. Hoseok nodded at him, taking a deep breath before forcing his finger to steady.

"Okay, I'm going to put a finger in now. Please tell me if it hurts."

"Mhm…"

He pressed in, bracing himself with his other hand grasped onto Yoongi's inner thigh. He was slow, slower than he thought he needed to. He pressed slow enough to probably slip his finger into a bubble without it popping. He got to his first knuckle and looked up, half expecting Yoongi's face to be pinched, or for his breathing to be laboured, but he only looked back.

"Does… that hurt?"

"No." Yoongi's cheeks were a bit pink, and he couldn't quite look Hoseok in the eye, but his voice was steady enough to convince Hoseok. "It's fine."

Hoseok nodded and looked back down as he started moving again, just as slow as before. He got halfway towards his second knuckle when he started to feel the pressure build around his finger. It was strong before, but that strength had doubled. It pulled him not only in, but in every direction. It grabbed at his nail and pulled at it enough that he stopped early to check on Yoongi again.

"Does that hurt?"

"No."

"Okay…" Yoongi was still convincing, but Hoseok was unsure how so much pressure wasn't hurting him. "It's… tight."

"I'll try to relax more."

"No, it's not your fault! I'll go slower."

"You really don't…" Yoongi laid back. "Yeah… okay."

Instead of pushing to the second knuckle, Hoseok began to pull out, just as slowly as he pushed in, and added more lube to his finger. He pressed in again, slowly making his way back to the same point. Yet, the pressure was still the same.

"You can… go faster than that."

From the tightness, Hoseok felt like he was going too fast.

"It's still tight."

He tried to press in more, until he reached the second knuckle. Hoseok looked down at his crotch, then back up at Yoongi. How the hell did he manage to fit in there! It didn't feel right. It felt like magic, or a trick. Was there something he was doing wrong? Everytime they had sex it felt like Yoongi was deceivingly small. Like a house which looked smaller on the outside. Every time Hoseok pressed his dick in, Yoongi parted open and took him in so smoothly. Sure it was tight on his dick and there was some pressure, but not that much. The further Hoseok pressed in his finger, the more he felt like his nail was going to be wrenched off.

"You can go…deeper." Yoongi scratched his chest. Hoseok looked up and found his eyes closed, facial features relaxed. Did it really not hurt him? "And faster… too." Hoseok pulled back, just to his first knuckle, then back in, and again. "Hoseok… faster."

"Just, just wait a little more." Hoseok said, his face twisting in with frustration. This was supposed to be hard on Yoongi, not him, so why the hell was it so hard? It felt like he was playing a game in impossible mode with the controls inverted. "I don't want it to hurt."

"It doesn't hurt."

"Doesn't it? You said earlier that the pain was bearable, but that still means it hurts!"

"Well not—" Yoongi sat up on his forearms again, sighing as if disappointed when Hoseok completely removed his finger again. "Not with just one finger."

"Then when!"

Yoongi's cheeks went even pinker. His eyes went far off to the side, and his arms came up to block his face when he answered.

"...maybe… three fingers."

It was muffled and whispered, but Hoseok heard it nonetheless.

Three fingers . He looked back down at his finger. Just one had been squished in there so tight, how the hell was it possible to get three in. He was at a loss. There was no way he was doing it right.

" Yoongi… " 

He sounded like he wanted to cry. Yoongi felt his sanity waver. He was supposed to be teaching, or giving him advice or something, but he could barely keep his anxiety at bay. He needed to calm down, to stay relaxed so that things down there were relaxed, but every time Hoseok moved, or looked at him, or breathed— Yoongi was waiting for him to call him gross again and trample over his heart while running away.

“Just… here.” Yoongi held both of his hands up. One in the shape of a ‘o,’ the other with his pointer finger pointed at the ‘o.’ “Do… what I do.” He pressed the finger in, just as far as Hoseok had dared to go before. He waited for a moment, for Hoseok to slowly copy as he did. "Don't… think about it too hard." He wasn't sure who he was saying that for. "Just copy exactly what I do, I know how to make it feel good."

"...Okay."

Hoseok took a deep breath, copying as Yoongi did that as well. It was sort of cute. To have Hoseok at his fingertips, fully trusting his movements. Like a puppeteer, Yoongi puppeted Hoseok to pull nearly all the way out, just to finally press all the way in. He needed it deeper and faster, he needed to fulfill that desire like an itch begging to be scratched. The moment he pressed the base of his finger against the 'o,' he was worried Hoseok would hesitate again. He was wrong. A jolt of energy bursted to life in his stomach, lurching at the feeling of finally being opened deep enough to matter. Yoongi couldn't help his lips from upturning, especially at Hoseok's distant expression. He was lost in the hormones. Yoongi pulled back again, that time pressing the finger not only faster, but with more conviction. It was… almost too nice. Yoongi was sure that if he had less shame this is how he would want to masturbate all the time. That way it would be exactly how he wanted it and without having to stretch to an awkward angle to reach. Hoseok had nice fingers, close enough in size to his that the feeling wasn't too different either. If he closed his eyes, it was almost like he was fingering himself… just… a bit deeper than he could usually reach. Yoongi looked down at the hand pressing into his inner thigh, Hoseok's hands were nearly the same size as his. Was it just the advantage from the angle or was his finger longer? Yoongi felt the energy jolt again, like lightning extending through his nerve endings. If Hoseok's fingers were longer, did that mean he could reach? Yoongi's prostate usually went untouched, it was always just out of reach for himself, and he steered Hoseok away from it during sex. Yoongi should have hesitated longer, but he wanted to feel good, and he wanted to feel it as fast as possible.

He pulled his pointer finger out of the 'o' and switched to the middle finger instead, the finger he usually used himself. Yoongi waited for a moment as Hoseok added a generous amount of lube to his middle finger before copying Yoongi again. Yoongi pressed the finger in and just at the first knuckle, he twisted his hand over until his palm was face-up. Hoseok watched him with lust-coated curiosity, following as he did. Hoseok finger twisted within him, brushing against the sensitive nerves at the entrance just enough to melt Yoongi's smile. He pressed the finger in, Hoseok following still. Except, he didn't do it right. Yoongi looked back down at his hands to find three of his fingers blocking the view. Yoongi watched Hoseok through his desperation, through his need, as he lifted his fingers to reveal what exactly Hoseok had missed. His finger, curled up and pressed into his skin. Hoseok hesitated, eyes wide as he ever so slowly contracted his finger up. He pressed directly into Yoongi's prostate, slow enough that it didn't make him scream, only slam his eyes shut and hips buck.

"Did… did that… hurt?"

Yoongi took a deep breath and peeked his eyes open.

"...I think you know it didn't." Hoseok opened his mouth to say something else, but no words came out, only a quiet moan. "So… keep going." Yoongi put his arm down, letting them fall over his face again. "And… put another finger in."

His own lack of shame surprised him. Yoongi had so much anxiety built up about this situation, he felt silly for being so scared. This was Hoseok afterall, his sweet boyfriend who loved him despite all his flaws. 

Hoseok reared back, still with one finger as he rocked it in and curled it up. Yoongi kept his hips still that time, letting the pleasure wash over him. He bit down on his bottom lip, forcing his voice to only hum out a quiet moan. He didn't want to be too quiet, he wanted to show Hoseok that there was no reason to be discouraged, it didn't only not hurt, it felt good.

"Then… I'll put in another finger."

"Mhm."

He pulled out completely again and Yoongi felt liquid drizzle down his ass again. Even more lube, so much so that he could feel it begin to pool at the base of his spine. If he was less horny, he would've cared more about how much lube was on his pillow.

"I'm… putting them in."

"Mhm."

"Just like… before right?"

"Yep."

"Mm…" Hoseok set his fingers against Yoongi's ass once more. "Please tell me if it hurts."

"It won't hurt." 

Yoongi was relaxed, no longer stressing over the anxiety of Hoseok running away scared. Besides, what was there to be scared about? Pain? Hoseok was going above and beyond to mitigate most of it. Yoongi was more afraid of looking gross in front of Hoseok than being in pain. This wasn't his first time, by far. Yoongi knew well what to expect in the pain/discomfort department. All he had to do was relax and that painful minute of adjusting was bearable. No matter how Hoseok stretched him, or fucked him, the pain paled in comparison to his first time. How Yoongi survived getting split open like that and was still willing to try again… he really did use to be a different person when he was younger. Though, Yoongi loved his ex. Enough to try again. He loved Hoseok too, enough that he didn't really mind what kind of pain he had to go through to make them both feel good. 

Hoseok pressed into him again, with two fingers, rocking directly into Yoongi's prostate still. He moved slower again, now that Yoongi wasn't guiding him, but no longer painfully so. He pressed in again and Yoongi felt the electricity flowing through his nerves turn to fire. Heat building pressure in his stomach.

"It got tighter again." Hoseok looked up at Yoongi with panic on his face. "Did it hurt!"

"Your fingers… straighten them again."

Hoseok looked mortified.

"Then it did hurt!" He pulled out. "I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have gone so fast— it was just that you said it wouldn't hurt until three fingers and it looked like it was feeling good, and I, god I'm so sorry—"

"It didn't hurt."

"Yoongi… you don't have to lie to save my feelings… if it hurt, then—"

"It didn't." Yoongi sighed, feeling the sudden pressure he felt in his stomach fade away. He pulled his arms away from his face and tried to reach for Hoseok's hand. When he fell short, he rubbed at the skin of his thigh a few times. "It didn't hurt. It's just…" He sighed again, holding a hand over his face as his shame crawled back. "I don't… want to cum… yet ."

"Oh… wow…"

"What?"

"No it's just…" Hoseok brought a hand up to his own face, placing a knuckle against his cheek as it turned red. "That was… cute." Yoongi dropped his hand, his facial expression fell even faster. "I mean! Not cute, uh— uh sexy! Yeah, sexy! I'm… really turned on right now, it's making it hard to think I guess." He laughed a nervous laugh. "Can we keep going please? I don't know how much longer I can do this for."

Yoongi gave him a warning look; a 'call me cute one more time and there'll be consequences' look. Hoseok swallowed loud enough to douse Yoongi's anger.

"Fine, go ahead. You're almost done anyways."

"What do you mean almost done?"

"Just add a third finger, thrust for a minute or so, then you can put it in."

"But…" Hoseok chewed at his bottom lip. "It was so tight, and you said three fingers would hurt."

"I also said a little bit of pain was unavoidable." Hoseok continued to bite at his lip instead of listening. "Hoseok."

"I don't want to hurt you."

Yoongi sighed another time. "You're really…" Frustrating , but he couldn't say that part outloud. "Fine. I'll do the rest, just go get a condom on."

"But I…" Hoseok was barely whispering until Yoongi reached around to press his middle and ring finger in. Hoseok caught his wrist and kept him from continuing. "I'll do it. I want to do it."

Extremely frustrating.  

"Then do it."

Yoongi laid back, setting his hands behind his head. Being patient, staying relaxed, moaning an adequate amount, teaching, keeping from looking gross; all of it at the same time was asking for a hell of a lot from someone who was sleep deprived and grumpy about it.

Hoseok pressed his fingers to Yoongi's ass, but pulled away. He came back again, and left just as quickly. Hoseok was biting his lip so hard it looked like it might bleed. He seemed unsure or scared, completely absent of the conviction his voice had. Yoongi closed his eyes and took his arms out from under his head, holding them up once more.

"Like this."

He pressed his middle and ring fingers into the 'o,' straight that time, all the way to the base of his fingers. Hoseok's lip came out of his mouth, his lips twisting into a pout.

"Promise… to tell me if it hurts."

"I already said it won't hurt yet—"

"Just promise. Please." Hoseok cried out, "For my sanity!"

Yoongi looked down at his fingers, then down at Hoseok's. How did he really want to go about this? The last thing he wanted was to further break down Hoseok's confidence. He should have hid the truth better before, the last thing Hoseok needed to know about was the pain. If Yoongi was smarter, he would have said he was too cool for it to hurt, or he was too good at this, anything which would have avoided this . Still, they were already here, and there wasn't much he could do to avoid it. He couldn't lie, Hoseok was going to pull out at the slightest hit of discomfort. There really wasn't much of a choice.

"Fine." He said finally, jaw clenched together as he mumbled out an, "I promise."

Hoseok nodded, pout upturning, not into a smile, but a flat expression as he pressed his fingers against Yoongi's ass. Yoongi pulled out his fingers and mimed again, clenched jaw prying open as Hoseok pressed in synchronously to Yoongi's fingers. The frustration had de-relaxed him enough to make him tighten up again. Before Hoseok could ask, Yoongi blurted out a panicked "don't pull out."

"What! What happened! Did it—"

"No."

"Yoong—"

"It didn't hurt!" He groaned and brought his hand down to pump his cock a few times. "Just let me… relax." He took another deep breath. "It's… intense."

"Intense?"

"That's what I said isn't it."

Hoseok didn't know what to do. Yoongi seemed adamant that he wasn't hurt, but wouldn't that be where the anger was coming from? He promised to say something, Hoseok wanted to trust that promise. Yet, he still wanted to pull out and add some more lube to the situation. 

Let me relax . Hoseok remembered reading something about that during his research. Under the patience category, there was a subsection meant for the receiver. Hoseok only skimmed over it, but he remembered reading something about how the receiver also needed to be patient, to stay relaxed in order to keep things loose, to make fingering easier. That… that was the reason he was struggling so much at the beginning with the tightness despite the lube. Yoongi was having a hard time relaxing, did he even want to be fingered by Hoseok? Was he being beyond selfish for asking? If Yoongi was doing it himself, would that mean he would be more relaxed? Hoseok couldn't help his rampaging thoughts. Did Yoongi feel pain because he couldn't relax around Hoseok, or because he didn't actually want this and was only reluctantly allowing Hoseok to live out his desires. Either way, Hoseok knew he had to stop this. He began pulling his fingers out, yelping out as Yoongi scrambled to catch his wrist with a near hiss on his tongue.

"I told you not to pull out!"

"But you—it's, I—" The more they argued the tighter Yoongi got. "Tell me the truth. Does it hurt right now?"

"I already said—"

"Yoongi."

"I said— ugh you're seriously not helping!"

Yoongi yanked on the collar of Hoseok's shirt, not letting go of the vice grip he held on his wrist, not even when he forced their mouths together. Hoseok let out a surprised noise as Yoongi kissed against his pinched lips. It was a kiss out of anger, demanding and aggressive.

"Yoo—"

Yoongi didn't let him talk, forcing his mouth open instead and pulling Hoseok to follow as he laid down again. Hoseok tried to pull out of Yoongi's grasp, but Yoongi kept him there, fingers pressed into Yoongi to the root. Instead he caught his weight on his other hand, breathing sharp for the brief second their lips separated.

"I—"

Yoongi lifted his head the centimeters they were separated. He kissed in, tongue licking up against his teeth. Yoongi's hand at Hoseok's collar loosened, it came up and around Hoseok's neck, into his hair, then to his chin. The kiss slowed, still as deep, but slower. It took Hoseok long to realize, but as soon as Yoongi's hand caressed his cheek he felt it. The tightness which pinched Hoseok's fingers impossibly tight together was softer. Yoongi was relaxing. He was kissing him to relax. Hoseok moaned into the kiss, fingers twisting into the sheets as he felt his boner grow painfully in the confines of his pants.

"Yoongi…" 

He moaned again, pulling away from the kiss. Yoongi was melted; eyes glazed over, lips parted and swollen, chest heaving with laboured breaths. He moaned back, a high tone which sounded even more like a whine than Hoseok's.

"...Ho..Hoseok."

Hoseok looked destroyed; eyes pinched, hair a mess, lips swollen, cheeks glowing bright red. To Yoongi, he looked like he needed to cum just as bad as he did.

"Can I…" He paused to swallow, tongue flicking over his bottom lip. "Continue now?"

"Yeah." Yoongi took his hand back, setting his arms back over his face. "Still need me to guide you?"

"No." Hoseok pulled his fingers back and pressed in once more. "No… I can do it from here."

Hoseok felt like he finally understood. He had been looking at sex wrong this whole time. It wasn't some magical activity to send him to cloud nine, and it wasn't just something that was hurting Yoongi either. It was something more like bonding. It was a time for them to connect, not just literally, but emotionally as well. Like how when they kissed, and everything else faded away. Hoseok would never have discovered half the things he now knew about Yoongi without sex. How he liked to be touched, how he sounded and how he looked when he felt good. When they had sex, Yoongi kissed him like Hoseok was desirable, like he was overlooking all his mistakes and stupid things he said. This was intimacy, time for them to be intimate with each other, or in other words, being vulnerable. All this time Hoseok didn't realize that he wasn't the only one feeling vulnerable. To let him do this, Yoongi really must have loved him. 

Moving a little faster, Hoseok began to rotate his fingers in a circular motion every time he pulled back out to the first knuckles. It was one of the techniques he had researched. Yoongi's knees jolted at the first time, nearly slamming shut. Hoseok took one of Yoongi's legs and guided it over his shoulder, using his free hand to once again hold Yoongi's thigh open.

"Does… that feel good?" Yoongi's knees kept jolting, and beneath his crossed arms Hoseok heard a muffled moan. "Good… And this?" He slowed down again and instead of a circular motion, he pulled open his fingers right at the entrance. Drawing out a low groan as Yoongi's back arched. "...good."

He alternated between the two, studying the way Yoongi reacted. He liked the circling more, squeezing Hoseok's fingers almost as if to say come back in and do it again. Although the scissoring motion made him looser, he could actually tell that he was making progress.

"Put the third finger in already!" Yoongi kicked at his back. "If this goes on much longer I'm going to lose my mind."

The cursed third finger. Hoseok was dreading this step ever since Yoongi mentioned the idea of a third finger hurting. Still, a little bit of pain was apparently unavoidable. He could at least take solace in knowing Yoongi trusted him enough to do this. He mentally prepared himself to see it.

He pulled out completely and looked at his lubed fingers, decided to add another generous glob of lube before continuing.

"Okay… take a deep breath, I'm… I'm going to put in the third finger now."

Yoongi did, mouth opening as he sucked in a breath. Hoseok watched as his asshole plused, closing tightly again as if he hadn't done any stretching at all. He pressed his fingers together, crossing them over each other to keep the shape of them as small as possible, hoping that would at least mitigate some of the pain. He pressed against Yoongi's hole, palm up, but decided to rotate his wrist at the last minute. When he had researched, the figure in the diagram's hand was facing palm down, not up. Why, he didn't really know, but it felt right. He pressed in slowly, easily reaching his first knuckles. That's when it began to feel a bit tight, but Yoongi still pulled him in regardless. He reached the second knuckle looking up to see Yoongi's reaction. His breaths were more shallow, still pushing up his chest and coming out from his parted lips. Whatever he was feeling, it didn't seem like pain yet. He pressed in further.

"Is that… slow enough?"

Yoongi didn't answer, but it didn't feel like he was tensing up, which was what Hoseok expected. He was waiting to see Yoongi's mouth twist with pain, for him to pull away or kick. Yet, there he laid, lips still parted, arms draped loosely over his face to hide his eyes. Hoseok really hated it when he did that.

He pressed in further, nearly to the base of his fingers when it happened. Yoongi jolted, knees slamming shut in front of Hoseok's face so hard he could hear the bones meet. That wasn't the only thing he heard. Yoongi didn't moan, it was more than that. Hoseok had heard that noise before, that night he was drunk. Yoongi had whined, or cried seemed more accurate. A noise Hoseok could barely believe came out of Yoongi's throat. He peeked over Yoongi's trembling knees, over Yoongi's arched-up torso, to see his lips wide and shaking.

"I'm so sorry…" 

He kissed Yoongi's knee and held his fingers as still as he made them. With his free hand, he tried to rub circles into Yoongi's thigh, but his hand was trapped tightly between his clenched legs. Still… that hand was being crushed more than his other. Actually, he had expected the tightness to hurt his fingers, but it didn't. Hoseok peeked over at Yoongi again, watching as his torso came down. One of Yoongi's arms wasn't covering his face anymore, it was instead set over his hip. Hoseok followed his arm with his eyes, but couldn't figure out what he was doing. He coaxed Yoongi's legs apart, leaning forwards to catch one of Yoongi's knees on his shoulder, he pressed open the other with his free hand.

"What are you…" He looked down at Yoongi's hand as if his entire reality had been altered. Yoongi's fist was choking his cock, clenched hard enough to turn the head an angry shade of purple-red. His thumb was pressed deeply against the slit, holding it closed like he was trying to keep himself from… coming . "Did you—"

"Shut up." Yoongi breathed harder, teeth clenching. "Put your cock in."

"What?"

Hoseok felt a shiver run down his spine. Yoongi took his arm away from his face, allowing him to see. He was flushed red, eyes pinched, eyebrows twisted with pleasure. He didn't look like he was in pain, he looked angry about the fact that he wasn't. There was no denying it. It was clear enough that Hoseok didn't even feel the need to ask. It felt good.

"Let me…" He couldn't help the way he was looking down at Yoongi. He was so horny he couldn't think, he could barely get himself to talk. "...let me do it… again."

He didn't wait for Yoongi, he only pulled out halfway and pressed back in. Yoongi bristled, twisting in his pleasure to try and run away from it. He couldn't help the cry which escaped his clenched jaw. He held his cock harder, the pressure in his stomach was so tight he felt like he might explode. He needed to cum, he needed release more than he wanted to breathe, but not like this. He didn't want Hoseok's fingers anymore. He kicked at Hoseok's ribs and sat up to grab his wrist, yanking at it to pull out.

"I'll seriously kill you."

"But it feels good! Let me make you feel good!"

"So you do want to die then." Yoongi dug his nails into Hoseok's wrist. "If you don't end this foreplay and stick your cock in right now, I'll seriously kill you. Then I'll die and find you in the afterlife just to kill you again!"

Hoseok needed to hear that noise again. He just had to make it happen with his cock instead, and that was a tall order. Yoongi seemed more than serious about killing him, and he was having a hard time denying his own need for pleasure.

"Okay…" He pulled his fingers out slowly. "I'll go get a condom—"

Yoongi lurched forward, shoving Hoseok onto his back.

"No time."

He crawled over Hoseok, knees on either side of his lap.

"Wait wait! I'm not wearing a condom!"

Yoongi grasped Hoseok's dick, nearly yanking him out of his sweats.

"I don't care."

Yoongi was looking at him like he was hungry and Hoseok was a delicacy. He pressed the head against his hole and Hoseok dug his fingers into Yoongi's ass, trying to force him to stay up.

"At least add more lube—"

Yoongi's hips slammed down, Hoseok was sucked up into him. He kicked his legs and threw his head back, with a cry of his own. It was so tight, but that wasn't it. Without the condom he could feel all of it. The ridges and bumps of Yoongi's insides, how they parted open for him and squeezed around him— and the intense heat. He was melting, or dying, was this Yoongi's way of killing him? Hoseok rasped for air, clutching at Yoongi's hips and the sheets, anything just to hold on for dear life.

"Trust me…" Yoongi leaned over, catching Hoseok's lips for a brisk kiss. "You put more than enough lube."

Maybe too much lube. Yoongi took an embarrassed breath and waited for Hoseok to settle. They had spent so much time talking about pain this, pain that, and there he was, feeling anything but. It was so strange, Hoseok just glided straight in. Every time he had sex, every single time, he always felt the initial stretch. Except maybe during the last couple weeks of fairly regular sex, he still felt it but it was less and shorter. Yoongi chalked that up to how often they were having sex, but to not feel the stretch at all. Was that because of the painfully drawn out foreplay, or just the excessive amount of lube?

"Yoongi…"

"What?" He leaned forwards, dropping an elbow on Hoseok's chest and resting his chin on his fist. He watched as Hoseok's jaw strained, his back molars grinding together. "You going to cum already?"

"Don't even joke about that." Hoseok groaned, eyes clenched tight, eyebrows furrowed. "I'm trying really hard not to."

"You can cum. Just… not yet."

Hoseok's hips bucked and a giggle flew out of Yoongi's mouth.

"You did that on purpose!" He cried out, jaw straining even tighter. "That's not nice, I'm seriously trying not to— and don't laugh!"

"I'm just saying, it's not like you can't. I can't exactly get pregnant."

"Jeez I know that much!" Hoseok puffed his cheeks out. "It's just the website said it was safer."

Yoongi couldn't help his smile, he grasped Hoseok's cheeks and forced them to deflate.

"What, you have a STI I don't know about?"

"Of course I don't!" His voice came out weird as Yoongi continued to pinch his cheeks. Hoseok brushed his hand away and finally opened his eyes. "You're seriously crazy… I hope it didn't hurt too badly."

Yoongi hummed, not exactly wanting to concede that Hoseok's painfully slow fingering and a mountain of lube completely negated the pain. He was not about to go through that hour long— or however long it really was— shit every time they wanted to have sex.

"Yoongi… can we do a different position than this? I want to… do it ."

"It?"

He went quiet for a moment, biting his lip into his mouth and downing once over Yoongi's body.

"I want to… do the… thrust— I want to do the work." He slid his hands over Yoongi's knees. "I can't do it like this."

Despite Yoongi's usual aversion to exercise or labour, he did do most of the heavy lifting when it came to sex. Yoongi was a bottom, that wasn't about to change, but when it came to Hoseok he really did not want to relinquish control. He was more than happy with grinding down on Hoseok's cock, guiding him to an orgasm and eventually finding his own. It worked for them like that. It wasn't 'rock your socks off' kind of sex, but there was nothing wrong with that if they were both feeling good. Besides, Hoseok should have been happy with the arrangement, it made things easy for him.

"What, this isn't enough?" Yoongi rocked his hips drinking down the way Hoseok's eyed closed, lips tightened to unsuccessfully hold back the rasped moan which rattled Yoongi's ears. He wasn't exactly prepared to do missionary again after that drunk night. "Just lay back and—"

"No it's not enough." 

Yoongi was taken aback. Not enough? But you cum everytime, what do you mean not enough?

"Why are you being so frustrating today?"

"Me?" Hoseok sat up, and crossed his legs behind Yoongi's back. "You're the one who's frustrating."

"Me!" Yoongi crossed his arms. "How am I frustrating?"

"You! Well you… you're always so reluctant when I want to make you feel good. I know I'm inexperienced… and maybe I'm not the greatest at any of this, but I'm trying really hard to get better… so… it's really frustrating when you fight back. It's even more frustrating that you hide when it feels good too, so I never really know if I'm doing something good. I didn't even know I was doing something to cause you pain until today!" Hoseok sighed and dropped his face into Yoongi's chest. "All I want to do is make you feel as good as I do. So… please let me."

Yoongi felt his chest flutter, then his stomach. So maybe, just maybe, he wasn't the only frustrating one. He sighed, and pulled off of Hoseok's lap.

"Okay… I'll let you— but I really need you to listen to me. I know it's not easy too, especially when you start to feel really good, but I might actually kill you if you don't slow down or stop if I ask."

"Of course I will…"

Yoongi took a deeper breath.

"You say that now, but when you're on the verge of coming you're not going to want to."

"Yoongi." Hoseok came forward and pressed a kiss against his lips. "I promise ." He stood up and crossed the room to get a condom. He held it up with a gentle smile. "And, better safe than sorry."

Yoongi felt another laugh bubble out of his throat.

"You're the only guy who would turn down bareback."

"God forbid I care about my boyfriend's health and safety." 

"Mhm, how dare you."

Hoseok bent over and connected their lips. Yoongi took the condom from his hands and ripped it open while Hoseok caught his cheeks and pulled him into a deeper kiss. Yoongi pulled away and held up the unwrapped condom.

"You don't want me riding you, so what position do you want?"

Hoseok took off his shirt before plucking the condom up. He used the fabric of his shirt to wipe the lube off his cock before rolling the condom down.

"Missionary… I guess? I read that you can't go wrong with that one."

"Mhm. Choose something else."

"What why!" Yoongi's eyes narrowed and Hoseok held up his hands. "Fine, uh… well it's not like I know a whole lot of options. The only other one I know is doggy."

Yoongi's eyes narrowed even further. He had to decide which was a lesser evil, missionary or doggy. Missionary sucked for one massive reason, the last time they did it, Hoseok simply had to move Yoongi's arms to be able to see his gross expressions. Although he did promise to listen, and Yoongi could always tell him not to, it was something Hoseok pointed out as being frustrating. Fine, he wouldn't hide his face because in doggy he wouldn't have to.

"Fine. Doggy it is. But you seriously have to listen to me!"

"I meant what I said, I promise."

Yoongi made a face, but still rolled over to his hands and knees. The bed dipped behind him, Hoseok rearing up his knees around Yoongi's. Hoseok had just spent what felt like an hour with his fingers and face near his ass, but somehow Yoongi still felt anxious about him seeing it. He looked over his shoulder and found Hoseok pouring a liberal amount of lube over his cock. Yoongi turned back to the headboard and it was his turn to bite his lip. Was it so bad that he was nervous? Letting Hoseok finger him was an entirely different monster than sex. This was more… more . More pleasure, more pressure, more everything. He hated how quickly he trusted Hoseok, that made him even more nervous. Normally he executed the highest levels of caution to cushion his trust issues. Except when it came to Hoseok… He just wanted Hoseok to be happy, to love him, to feel good. 

Hoseok adjusted himself again, hesitantly placing a hand on Yoongi's ass as he poured some more lube there as well. His thumb strayed down, gliding through the stream of lube and pressing some into his ass. Yoongi bit his lip harder, as Hoseok pressed his thumb all the way in, it just… just missed his prostate. Yoongi gripped the sheets tighter. He just had to choose Yoongi's favourite position. As if there weren't dozens of other positions to choose from, Hoseok chose too well. Yoongi pressed his knees together, jolting when Hoseok pressed a hand between his thighs, guiding them further apart.

"Sorry, I just… You have to be a bit lower or I can't reach."

Yoongi tried to hum back in response, something non-chalant, but it sounded strikingly similar to a moan.

"You can take your thumb out already." Yoongi cleared his throat to save face.

"It's… a bit tight again. Should we stop and stretch it more?"

"It's fine."

"Is it?" Hoseok pulled at Yoongi's asshole to open it wider.

"It's fine!" Yoongi reached back and slapped his hand. "I said it's fine so it's fine. You said you would listen."

"But I'm just—" Hoseok sighed. "Fine… you're right." He pulled his thumb out and adjusted even closer, grasping a hand on Yoongi's hip and pulling his ass closer. "Then, I'm putting it in."

Yoongi couldn't answer. He bit his lip tight, breaking open the skin. Hoseok pressed the head of his cock to Yoongi's asshole, pressing in with only a slight amount of pressure. It slipped downwards against Yoongi's balls when Hoseok tried to hump in.

"Sorry… I… let me try again." He tried again, pulling Yoongi's hips back tighter as he pressed up. Before he could thrust the head slipped upwards. "Shit— are you sure we shouldn't stretch it more?"

Yoongi sighed and dropped to his chest, reaching around with a hand to hold his asscheeks open.

"Try again."

Hoseok took a shaky breath, but listened. He pressed in, slowly, the head pushing at his hole until finally popping through.

"There…" Hoseok's air left his lungs from the pleasure. He set both of his hands on Yoongi's lower back, smoothing over his skin until he was back holding his hips. "Is that… okay?"

"Mhm…" 

Yoongi pressed up again, twisting his fingers into the sheets preemptively. The stretch wasn't as smooth as last time, but it still wasn't painful. Just intense again. He could feel his insides parting open, and the ridge of Hoseok's head pressed into the sensitive nerves at his entrance.

"Okay. I'll go deeper then…"

He pressed in, and Yoongi's face twisted from the discomfort. It was only brief, but as Hoseok's pelvis met his ass, he felt like Hoseok had pressed into his stomach. He was deeper than he'd ever been, deeper than anyone had ever been. Yoongi bit his tongue to distract from the feeling until Hoseok pulled back to thrust in again. Yoongi felt like he could reach up and press a hand against his stomach to feel the outline of his cock there. Hoseok thrusted again, that time a bit faster. He was exploring, but the sound of their skin slapping together made him jolt.

"Oh my god sorry, was that too hard?"

"Of course not." Yoongi kept himself from looking back, he didn't know what face he was making. "This position doesn't tend to be… quiet."

Hoseok moaned again. "I see…" He cleared his throat. "It's noisy in there too."

"You did put a shit ton of lube."

"Right… right."

Hoseok continued to explore, thrusting from different angles. More from the bottom, from the sides. The curve of his dick hooked into the side of Yoongi's stomach and tugged against his walls. It was so much, all of his nerves burned, not from pain or discomfort, now it was pleasure. The more Hoseok moved around, the more Yoongi tried to adjust to keep him from his prostate. That was a recipe for disaster. He groaned out to each thrust, trying to keep his tone low and even. Just enough to say 'it feels good' without saying 'oh my fucking god it feels so good my insides are on fire!' Maybe he should have sucked it up and let Hoseok do missionary.

"Hey…" Hoseok gripped tighter on Yoongi's hips. "Stop moving around so much… I'm trying to find it."

"What?" God please no . He should have never shown Hoseok where it was with his fingers. "Find what?"

 "You know what, the part in there. The one you like?" Hoseok lowered his hips and thrusted upwards. "I didn't think it would be this hard to find it with my dick… I really am trying though, I promise."

"It's fine. Stop looking." Yoongi said, squeezing his eyes shut. "It feels good enough like this." Hoseok thrusted in again, that time rocking while all the way in, still searching. "Hey. I said it was fine."

"Is that it? Or no, it would be lower right?"

"Hoseok."

"Maybe here?"

"Ho—" 

Yoongi shrieked out a moan. A noise which he didn't know he could make. He clutched a hand over his mouth, trying to move his hips away, but Hoseok had him.

"There it is!"

"No it's not!"

Hoseok thrusted in again, stabbing directly into Yoongi's prostate, cock dragging back along his inner walls. He could cry, or maybe he already was, it felt so good. It felt so much .

"Are you…lying?"

He didn't stop. Yoongi had to let go of his mouth to keep his balance, letting out a slew of moans and cries. He couldn't think straight, or breathe straight— the pleasure went straight to his brain after wrecking his body. 

"Y..yes." Yoongi whimpered out. "Ah fuck… shit… a~ah."

Hoseok drank down all of it. The sight, the sound… Yoongi's shirt crept up, bulging at his upper back. He was trembling, jolting, but most of all, completely unraveling. Hoseok was so glad he was sober this time. During that night it had been like his head was underwater and everything was muffled. Now everything was crystal clear, ringing through his ears. He took in Yoongi's body, his pleasure, he needed more. He rocked faster into Yoongi, praying that his hips wouldn't give out anytime soon. 

Yoongi got louder, shrieking out at every thrust. He couldn't hold back, he couldn't stop himself or muffle the noise. He was so dangerously close.

"Are you…?"

"Shut up!"

Yoongi dropped to one of his forearms, reaching a hand down to grasp his cock again. He couldn't cum, not yet.

"No it's okay… I'm close too."

"I told you to shut up!"

Hoseok reached down, pulling Yoongi's hand away from his cock.

"It's okay."

Hoseok grasped Yoongi's hips again, thrusting deep and hard. Yoongi dropped his face into the mattress, screaming out into the mattress to muffle the sound. He whimpered out, finally coming. Hoseok watched Yoongi twitch, jizz splurting down onto the sheets. He let out his own groan, nearly from pain at how tightly Yoongi gripped him. He tried to thrust again, but he was done. He dropped Yoongi's hips, practically lying on top of him as he finally came. 

The world, no the entire universe didn't exist for moments, brief moments which lasted years. 

Yoongi finally breathed, face down in the sheets and with a jizz spot pressed into his thigh. Hoseok pressed into his back, full weight on his body. Even still… that was the best damn sex he had ever had.

"Oh… my god." Hoseok whispered, rolling over to the side. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked over at Yoongi, still face down and heavy breathing into the sheets. He was bright red, his back, his neck, his ears… even his ass. "That was… that was really… really good."

Yoongi hummed back at him, it was low and gravely, as if he was starting to lose his voice. Hoseok chuckled and stood up, wobbling for a second until his knees caught. It was really really good. He turned back to Yoongi and poked his ass cheek.

"Come on, don't fall asleep here."

He groaned flatly.

Hoseok reached his hand around Yoongi's hip and his shoulder and rolled him to his back. 

"Stop…" Yoongi whined, his arms coming around his face. Hoseok reached under Yoongi's knees, and under his armpit. "Stoppp." 

Hoseok hoisted him up, glad that his legs held. He walked over to the other side of the room and set him down on his bed instead. Yoongi rolled over to his side, into the fetal position to hide from Hoseok.

"There's no need to be shy." Hoseok leaned over and kissed Yoongi's shoulder.

"Shut… up." Yoongi pushed Hoseok's face away, finally rolling over to look at him. "And we can't just switch beds to cuddle just because there's jizz and lube on mine."

Hoseok leaned down again and kissed his lips. He wanted to cuddle too, but that wasn't completely fair. That was a lot that he had asked for, so much so he was starting to feel guilty. Still, Hoseok was glad he did wake Yoongi up. He was glad he had listened to what Jimin had said. He was glad that Yoongi trusted him.

"I'll wash your sheets." He kissed him again and that time Yoongi reached up to cup his cheeks, holding him there for a longer kiss. "Just rest, okay?"

"Mm." He pulled Hoseok in for a final kiss. "If you make my bed too, maybe I'll let you do it again sometime."

Hoseok laughed as he stood up.

"Maybe I will then."

"Andddd, maybe you could throw in some of my other laundry too?"

"Don't~ push it, Honey." He sang out.

"So you don't want to do it again?"

He puffed out his cheeks.

"That's blackmail!"

Chapter Text

Hoseok was… insanely happy. This was better than the spirit of Christmas, and all things holy, and… more things that Hoseok couldn't think of. He was so in love it was painful. He loved Yoongi more than he loved anything ever, and that thought made his heart flutter like… well, like a heart fluttering. If Hoseok didn't take such good care of his health for his job, he would have been worried he was having some sort of cardiac event. He was beyond happy, but there was something distant in the back of his mind that he was sure he was forgetting.

The beep of the washing machine took him out of his thoughts. What more could he do than shrug, if it was anything important, it would come back to him. He bent over to switch the load of sheets over to the dryer. He would make Yoongi's bed with nice warm sheets, and Yoongi would wake up just to switch beds. Hoseok could already picture how cute it would be. He started up the machine and leaned back against the machine. He was about to pull up a video to watch on his phone when the door slammed open.

"There you are!" Jimin sighed, closing the door behind him to lean on. He was clutching a laptop to his chest, and Hoseok felt even stronger that he was forgetting something important. "I think Yoongi might murder me for waking him up."

"Aw, why'd you wake him?"

"To find you!" He knocked the back of his head against the door. "Hobi-hyung, we need to talk."

Jimin looked up at him with his lips pressed into a tight line.

"Oh…kay?" Hoseok put away his phone. "Oh, I get it! This is about your fight earlier, right?"

"What? No." 

Jimin shook his head, taking a quick breath before holding up the laptop more obviously. On top of it was resting a closed notebook. Hoseok tilted his head, still not getting it.

"I'm confused, what's wrong? Did I do something wrong?"

"Nono, I just." He groaned. "I know I told you I don't mind you borrowing my things here and there, but doing… that with my things." 

That? Hoseok thought even harder, pushing the gushy thoughts of Yoongi out of the way. Did he borrow Jimin's things? Hoseok thought harder, scrutinizing the laptop and notebook. His heart dropped. He had borrowed them, but only because he was in a rush. His research… his notes… the video— he'd left it all out on the kitchen table when he went to Yoongi. Hoseok felt all the colour drain out of his face. He put many… many things on Jimin's search history, un-deleted.

"Yeah…" Jimin seemed relieved when Hoseok finally understood what they were talking about. "Listen… Hobi-hyung, I'm really sorry for seeing, but you left it out! So it's not my fault that I know… that you might be… I don't know, having some issues with certain things." He sighed. "I guess what I want to say is, if you're having any problems with stuff like that, I'm here if you need advice. Bottom to bottom advice, you know?"

Hoseok felt embarrassment drag his soul out of his body. What the hell was he supposed to say to any of that. Jimin knew that he was having problems! How embarrassing could he be! Hoseok kicked himself for leaving all that stuff out. He knew he was forgetting something.

"Thank… you?"

"No worries! I really don't mind." Jimin opened the door. "Anything for my roomie! Oh! And by the way." He opened the notebook and ripped out the pages Hoseok had written and handed them over. "You have some pretty comprehensive notes in here, but honestly, over research, I think you should be going more by feeling instead. Don't overcomplicate things, that'll just stress you out. All you have to do is what feels good for you."

 As soon as the door closed, Hoseok withered away, crumbling to the ground. Was there anything more humiliating? He really didn't think so. Besides, what was he even talking about, 'bottom to bottom' advice? Why would they stick their butts together for advice? He really didn't get it, though, he did get one thing Jimin said. Don't overcomplicate things . That was good advice.

***

Hoseok followed that advice as well as he could. It was hard to be so forward, but instead of pussy-footing around things, he told Yoongi how he was feeling. I love you. You make me really happy. I'll do the work and make us both feel good. He wanted to be direct, he wanted all his thoughts, all his feelings, to be shared. Except, he wasn't really sure if he was getting the same back. Yoongi was a private person. He didn't talk too much about himself when he didn't have to, and if there was one thing he did not like to talk too much about, it was feelings. Hoseok wanted to know if Yoongi thought about him. And if he did, what did he think? Did he like that he was being more direct, or did he hate it? Did he hate him! Or was he bored? He seemed so unbothered all the time, except when they had sex. Did that just mean they had to have more sex? No, that was… well he wanted to, but he also didn't want to be some sort of sex fiend. He didn't want to push it… yet that was all he wanted to do. How did not overcomplicating things complicated them even more! Hoseok could drown in his endless thoughts of Yoongi.

Yoongi, well, he was floating. Laying on his back and floating down a stream, except that stream had rapids pretty often and he was sure there was a waterfall downstream. Yet, he didn't want to get out. Yoongi wanted to ride the ride out, or really he just wanted to rest. He was so unbelievably tired. A large bit of solace came to Yoongi when Hoseok asked if they could rearrange the room and shove the beds together. Yoongi was half asleep when he agreed, and when he woke up Hoseok had shoved his entire bed over to his side of the room. Damn all his insecurities, he slept much better with Hoseok next to him. Even though 'next to him' sometimes meant barely touching or arms and legs tangled around him so tightly he couldn't even think of moving. It was soothing to listen to his heartbeat, to feel the pull of his chest in every tired breath. 

It also gave them more room for sex, that was also nice.

Hoseok was bouncing off the walls. Yoongi was getting bored of him. When they talked he yawned. Every time Hoseok suggested an activity for them to do, Yoongi always counter-offered a cuddle nap, which of course Hoseok agreed to. Who would turn down a cuddle session? Still, Hoseok needed to come up with something. Something to deter his anxieties, something to really excite Yoongi. Something sexy? There was still a whole list of ideas Hoseok had in a google tab on his phone. Most of which were still pretty daring , but he was not as unsure about sex as he was the year previous. Yet… was he 'sure' enough to suggest bondage? No . No, that was definitely too much. The next step in the list from fingering was supposed to be asshole licking, and Hoseok wasn't even ready to do that. He needed a middle step, something inbetween. He needed advice… real life advice…from Jimin…about sex. Was there anything more humiliating than asking your little brother for sex advice?

With his head down, Hoseok knocked on Jimin's door.

"O-one second!"

"What, no! Hobi-hyung come back later!"

"No. It's fine."

"It's not fine."

The door swung open and Jungkook rushed out while buckling his belt,

"Oh uh, sorry— I didn't mean—" Jungkook rushed past him without looking him in the eyes. He went from whatever he was doing with Jimin straight to leaving the dorm, like a whirlwind. "...to interrupt?" 

He peeked his head further in the room and found Jimin kneeling at the side of Jungkook's bed with his face deep in the mattress. He groaned, loudly .

"Hobi…" Jimin fell backwards, crumpling to the ground with his face in his hands. "Give me a second… or a year… or just let me die here."

"Aw come on." Hoseok scratched the back of his neck and came over, going to sit on the bed and switching to the floor at the last minute. He didn't know what was happening on that bed just now, but he didn't want to sit on whatever it was. "It's no day to die."

"Has to one day."

"But not today!"

Jimin groaned twice as loud and let his arms fall to the ground in complete defeat. They stayed like that for a while. Jimin didn't seem to want to talk, and Hoseok couldn't get the words to leave his throat. 

"So… Jimin."

"Mh."

"Say I wanted to, I don't know…"

"Hm."

He struggled over the right word, realizing just how perfect this opportunity was. Jimin was in a bad mood, which meant he wouldn't get all excited over the idea of giving advice. It also meant he wouldn't tease either, probably, which meant most of the humility was cut in half! Hoseok cleared his throat and tried again.

"Say I wanted to switch things up, with Yoongi, maybe with a different position? Or something? Which one would you recommend?" He leaned in closer. "And nothing too crazy, I might be flexible, but I'm not that flexible."

Jimin's lips trilled, that was better than a flat hum. He didn't sit up, or get excited at all, still laying there defeated on the floor.

"Well, I guess that depends on why you want to switch it up?"

"Oh…" Hoseok hadn't thought of the possibility that Jimin's bad mood meant no advice— or worse, bad advice. He would have preferred the humility, as long as it was served with good advice. "I guess it's mostly just to do something exciting for Yoongi? You know?"

"Oh." Jimin made a face, then sat up. "Oh!"

"Oh?"

"I get it! Hobi-hyung, I had no idea we were going through the same thing, I'm so sorry, it is rough . Lately, Jungkook would rather do literally anything other than me. I always have to concoct some new exciting way to seduce him just to get a pathetic quickie. I mean come on! There are only so many ways to get him to do what I want without getting out some rope and tying him… actually that’s not a bad idea."

"I don’t know if that’s—"

Jimin let out a forced laugh, smacking Hosoek’s knee a few times. 

"I mean this must be totally normal since you’re having the exact same problem!

"Maybe not 'same' but—"

"Anyways!" Jimin smacked his leg a few more times as if telling him to shut up and let him have this. Hoseok resigned himself with a silent chuckle. "Riding Jungkook’s thigh used to get him going, but I honestly can’t see Yoongi enjoying anyone sitting on him. Not even you, Hyung. If you want an exciting position, ask him to sixty-nine with you. I bet Motionless Min would like being able to just lie around.” Numbers? Math? How is math supposed to excite Yoongi? Yoongi hates math. “After a while hit him with some reverse cowgirl action and ride that rock into the sunset!”

Hoseok blinked, his face had gone so blank he felt like his facial features had fallen off. Jimin was just saying any words in any order without any sense. Maybe asking for advice while he was in a bad mood really wasn’t a good idea.

"Rock? Bounce?" His head fell to the side. " Reverse ?"

Jimin laughed again, less forced as he laid back down, letting his arms fold behind his neck.

"Oh man, you really don't know anything, do you Hyung?"

"I know…" All the confidence he thought he had drifted out his ears and out the window. "Some… things."

" Right ." Jimin didn't believe him. He didn't believe himself. "Okay okay. Let the expert explain." He crossed his knee. "To sixy-nine… Uh, actually it's a bit hard to explain without a diagram, but basically one person lays on another— well, not lay-lay, but crouch, sure let's go with crouch. One person crouches on another, facing opposite directions, of course."

Hoseok tried to force an image to his mind. Yoongi laying down on the bed, him crouched over him, facing the opposite way? So his face at Yoongi's feet? What was he supposed to do there, tickle him? That really would get him murdered.

"And…?"

"And? Oh come one, you really need me to— okay okay. You suck each other's cocks, or he could— oh come on don't look at me so scandalized. You wanted something exciting! This is a classic!"

Hoseok doctored the image he had in his head. Him crouched over Yoongi, his face at his crotch, and Yoongi's face… between his… knees— fire exploded across his skin.

"And for reverse cowgirl, or boy, whatever you want." Jimin said, "Let Yoongi stay laying down, and straddle him— with your back facing him, because it's reverse and all— and then bounce on that cock!"

Hoseok was lost, all he could see was Yoongi's face set between his thighs.

"Usually I would suggest having a backup position in mind though." Jimin kicked his foot into Hoseok's ribs. "It's murder on the knees after a while, but after sixty-nine-ing, I don't think it should be a problem. I mean, unless Yoongi's been hiding some secret supply of stamina that he only uses for sex— which I highly doubt." 

"Yeah yeah… okay."

Jimin tried to rub Hoseok's shoulder with his foot, but Hoseok shoved it away. 

"Not to yuck your yum, but I seriously don't get you two. Well, no, I get it, I just don't… aren't you, like, unsatisfied ever? Is Yoongi ever just… not enough? Don't you get sad sometimes, when it's just… not enough ." He threw his arms up and let them fall over his face. "Are we…the weird ones?"

Hoseok sighed and patted Jimin's shin. Jimin was only projecting, he could see that. Instead of going on the defensive over his relationship, he changed gears.

"It's going to be okay." He stood up and held out his hand. "He'll come around." Jimin looked at his hand distantly, but didn't move to take it. "Come on, let's go out. My treat."

His face lit up.

"Hell yeah! I can not tell you how much I need a drink."

"Well, I was thinking more like, mini golf? Or bowling? Dinner?"

"Shots shots shots!"

Hoseok groaned.

"Fine. But I'm driving." He scraped a hand down his face. Yoongi would also murder him if there was a repeat of the last time he got drunk.

***

It was a long, very long, too long day at work. Hoseok was everywhere all day, from the early ams all the way past dinner. He had no business to still be at the office, especially since Yoongi had already gone home. Yet, the day wasn't long because of how busy it was, actually Hoseok was going through a lull of sorts. Well, okay, maybe he was following in Yoongi's footsteps and working on a private side project, but that wasn't the only reason he had spent most of his long day glancing over his shoulder. He didn't want to catch anyone looking at his notebook, but he really wanted to catch Yoongi looking at his ass. 

Hoseok had made one very lucky discovery. Yoongi, barely awake, staring at a photo of Hoseok. A photo of Hoseok's ass. Yoongi possessed a photo of Hoseok's ass and stared at it.  Hoseok had caught him red handed, but instead of being embarrassed Yoongi only asked him why he didn't wear skinny jeans more often. He was too cool about it. Hoseok was left short circuiting, what was he supposed to respond to that with? Well, why don't you… take your beautiful smile and put it on my face, please. Hoseok was inept when it came to witty comebacks. Though, he wasn't about to give in. No, he took his ass to the store and purchased a new set of skinny jeans, then took his ass to work, and took his ass all over the building. Bending over, dropping things just to pick them up, he desperately wanted to catch Yoongi staring in real life. Why look at a photo when he and his ass were right there!

Although, there was one fatal flaw in his plan. The jeans were stiff, and maybe a size too small. He could barely sit, or bend, and he wore them for the entire day. After an hour he wanted out. After twelve hours, he was ready to burn them. Why did Yoongi have to like him in them, skinny jeans were some sort of modern torture devices. He wanted to breathe! Apparently he wanted Yoongi to ogle him more, but that was besides the point.

Hoseok dropped himself into his car and pulled open the button. Relief, but only slight. He had expected the zipper to fall open, but it stayed put. At least it was enough relief for the car ride. Hoseok spent the time after parking and stealing something from the kitchen quickly and strolling into the bedroom, all tugging at the zipper every so often. It's not like it was stuck, but it was stiff. As much as he wanted to interrupt Yoongi's movie by dropping his keys and bending over, the need to get out was louder now. He pulled harder behind closed doors, pinching the zipper tab at a different angle. It's not stuck, that's stupid . He yanked, ripping at the fabric to force the zipper down. You aren't stuck . He winced, pulling his fingers away with a deep indent from the zipper. Please don't be stuck . He yanked with more desperation, hard enough that he pulled himself backwards into a wall. He kept yanking, switching fingers, and falling over onto the bed. He rolled over to his side and rolled off the bed, still yanking and ripping and twisting. He was stuck. He was so stuck it was as if someone had superglued the zipper while he wasn't looking. He cried out, heaving, and completely stuck.

"Okay, seriously, what the hell are you doing in here!" 

Yoongi ripped open the door, narrowly missing Hoseok's head. 

"Uh…"

Yoongi pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I was watching Tazza. Tazza. I relinquished control over the tv, for this. Why the hell are you on the floor?"

"I…" Hoseok puffed out his cheeks. "No reason… in particular?" He took his fingers away from the zipper to try and play it off. "Just, testing out the floor, you know?"

"I really don't." Yoongi grumbled something else under his breath and stepped over Hoseok, shutting the door behind him. He crawled his way into bed and left the corner open for Hoseok. "Come here when you're done testing the floor or whatever."

Hoseok let a high note leave his throat as he started yanking at the zipper again. Don't do this to me now! Don't ruin cuddle time you monster! He twisted and heaved and eventually looked over to find Yoongi watching him.

"I…'m just working out." 

He tried to smile but it came out more as a grimmice.

"You look stuck."

"I'm not stuck!"

"Then you don't want my help?"

Hoseok pursed his lips. He didn't want Yoongi to have to help him most days, but helping him out of his pants was a completely different story.

"I'm stuck. Please help."

"Yeah yeah." Yoongi sat at the edge of the bed. "Come here."

Hoseok could only muster a high pitched "mhm" as he scurried his way over. Yoongi reached up, his hand dangerously close to Hoseok's crotch. He had to look up and think about anything else to stop from getting hard. Sad puppies and kittens . Yoongi pinched the zipper tab in his fingers and pulled, then again. He shifted closer to the edge and pulled harder.

"What the hell, it really is stuck."

"I know!" 

Hoseok pulled away and tried again for himself. The zipper wasn't budging an atom. 

"Well, what can you do." He laid back. "Go get the scissors and I'll cut you out."

"What! No!" Hoseok just bought them and he hadn't even gotten the chance to catch Yoongi staring! He wasn't going to ruin them until he at least succeeded once. "No scissors. Just help me!"

"I'm trying."

"Try harder!"

Hoseok cried out again. He was more than desperate, he was going crazy. He needed freedom. This was denim jail— denim hell. He needed at least five business days pantless to recover, preferably spent with Yoongi on a similar pant-strike.

"Sit down for a second." 

Yoongi leaned down and tried at that angle, but the only thing that did was hurt his back. He crouched down and eventually used Hoseok's knee as a seat while continuing to pull. Sad dead puppies and kittens.

"This isn't working!" 

Yoongi stood up and stuck the tip of his thumb in his mouth.

"How does this even happen?"

Hoseok groaned and laid back, it was his turn to try again. He twisted and turned, eventually landing with his feet on the headboard and his desire to live on completely zapped. Being stuck forever meant no more cuddle time, no more comfort, no more work either because how the fuck could he work like this? Every comeback, every stage wearing the same pants? He wouldn't even get that far, because if he couldn't get out, then how the hell was he meant to use the bathroom. Hoseok yanked even harder.

"Calm down, I'll get you out." Yoongi pushed his arms away and sat on his stomach, using that angle to get him free. "It'll work."

Hoseok looked up at Yoongi's shoulders, down his back, to his… The saddest and deadest puppiest and kittens.

"Is it working?"

Yoongi grunted in response and shifted backwards. Hoseok couldn't look away. Yoongi's ass was inches from his face. His plush, soft…Very sad and very dead puppies— God and his shorts had pressed up in all the chaos far enough that Hoseok could see the line of his ass cheek. He could see that pasty skin that was only meant for his eyes.

"Uh… Hobi?"

Hoseok hid his face in his hands, peeking between his fingers to keep the rare view in sight.

"I know…I'm sorry."

Yoongi sighed, sitting up again. It didn't ruin the view, only changed it. All Hoseok could think about was Jimin's advice from the week previous. He wanted to do something exciting for Yoongi. He wanted to try… the… what was it? Sixty-six? Seven? The name didn't matter, he just had to get Yoongi to lie down and crouch on top of him, that was simple enough.

"You're fine, it's just that I can't really help you with that . We're not the only ones home, and even if we were, apparently I can't get in your pants." He chuckled to himself. "Are you sure I can't just cut them off? At this rate you're going to be stuck in there forever."

Hoseok couldn't help the frown which pulled at his lips. Yoongi was right. He knew that, but a large part of him—larger than he wanted to admit—wanted to have sex. He wanted to say screw it to their rule, screw it to whoever heard, he wanted to screw his boyfriend. Screw it .

"Wait! I… I have an idea." Hoseok said, sitting up too fast. "One last try."

Yoongi couldn't lift his weight in time. He slid down Hoseok's torso, landing at his crotch, dragging his junk along Hoseok the entire way. Yoongi jumped up, doing his best to pretend it hadn't happened. He adjusted his shorts and mentally scolded himself. He couldn't get hard. He wouldn't. On a fundamental level, he despised PDA. He didn't need anyone seeing him being soft. On an even deeper level, he could not fathom the thought of being perceived while having sex by anyone other than the person he was having sex with. Even that was touch and go, if he could just not be perceived at all while he was going through mind numbing pleasure, that would have been preferable. He would not have any of the guys hearing him, or walking in. He just couldn't!

Hoseok stood up and pointed at the bed. "Lay down."

"Uh…" Yoongi looked at the bed for a moment, considering. He had his guard up, but who would turn down the chance to lay down? Sue him, he was tired. "Okay." He laid down, settling his pillow under his head. "How is this supposed to help exactly?"

"Uh, scooch down a bit." Yoongi's eyes narrowed, but he followed what Hoseok wanted regardless, dragging the pillow with him. "A bit further. Yeah, perfect." Hoseok set a knee at the edge of the bed and swung his other over Yoongi's head. Yoongi stared up at Hoseok's still growing bulge pressing at the impossible zipper. He blinked. "Now try again!"

Yoongi's eyes narrowed into slits. He was sensing alternative motivations.

"We can't have sex." He said, keeping his tone even and blunt as he reached up to start pulling again.

"I know!"

"Then… how is this position any better than what I did before? That didn't work either."

Hoseok took a sharp breath and Yoongi watched his thighs shiver. For someone who knew they couldn't have sex, he was raring to go. 

"Because… uh…" He was so gone he couldn't even think. Yoongi had to shut this down… eventually. He couldn't help but be a little entertained. Who got stuck in pants this badly? If he couldn't watch his movie, he could at least watch this. "Because… it feels like this might work?"

" Right. Very believable."

Hoseok whined. "Just do it please! I want out."

That much was believable.

"Okay."

Yoongi continued to work at the zipper, yanking at it from all possible angles. Up, sideways, straight, downwards— none of them budged the zipper. He felt a hand land between his knees, which he didn't think much of until Hoseok used his other hand to push Yoongi's knees further apart.

"What are you doing?"

"Just… trying to give you better leverage."

Yoongi watched as Hoseok not so subtly lowered his hips. 

" Uh-huh ."

He had been like that all day. Trying to get Yoongi's attention. He didn't really get it, Hoseok already had his attention. He didn't need to bend over in front of him. If Yoongi wasn't sleeping or working, he was most likely indulging in Hoseok in some shape or form.

Hoseok leaned down, pressing his forearm between Yoongi's knees to keep them apart. Yoongi tried to ignore him, tugging at the zipper as if he wasn't going to shove Hoseok off in the next few minutes to finally get the scissors. He heard it before he felt it; a kiss. Hoseok pressed his lips into the side of his knee, then again, higher. So the act was apparently over.

"Hobi." Hoseok pushed his legs even further apart, kissing higher. "We can't." Hoseok kissed his inner thigh, dragging up Yoongi's shorts to allow him more skin. "Hoseok." He kissed even higher, and higher still. Heat filtered beneath Yoongi's skin. He couldn't, they couldn't… but fuck did he want to. "H…hoseok…we shouldn't."

"I know." Hoseok found Yoongi's growing bulge with his palm, forcibly keeping Yoongi's knees from twisting in, even as he started to rub. "But I really want to."

"I know, but—"

Yoongi jumped, letting out a noise as something dropped down and flicked his cheek. Both of them paused as the sound of the zipper ripping open registered. It had been so long since any of this was about Hoseok's pants that Yoongi had almost forgotten what he was pulling. The something which dropped down and flicked him was Hoseok's cock, which continued to rest on his face until Yoongi moved it off. He looked at Hoseok's wide eyes and open mouth and gave the most dramatic sigh he could muster. Seriously, what was he going to do with him.

He pumped Hoseok's cock, tightening his grasp until Hoseok bucked at him.

"Why do I feel like you planned this?"

Hoseok yanked at Yoongi's shorts until they came down just enough for him to grasp Yoongi's cock as well.

"Of course I didn't!" 

Yoongi would have rathered his fingers down lower— but we can't all be winners.

"Feels pretty intentional."

"It wasn't. It just… happened to work out well."

Yoongi, hormones stronger than his will to stop this, shoved at Hoseok's jeans.

"And you just happened to not put on any underwear this morning?"

"What no! It's just that I only had boxers clean, and they bunch up weird in these type of pants. That's all."

"Mhm."

He couldn't bring himself to care, not when Hoseok lowered his hot mouth over his cock. Yoongi's jaw tightened, this again . Although, it was a bit different than before. In that position, practically—more than practically—sixty-nine-ing, he at least had something to do. He curled an arm up and around Hoseok's hips, catching his nails in the waistband of the jeans and pulling Hoseok's crotch lower.

Oh. My. God. Hoseok didn't know how to be when he felt wet heat close over the head of his cock. A tongue swept down the slit, swirling around before he heard a tight pop of Yoongi's lips coming off of his dick. Oh my god . Yoongi pulled his hips even lower, and his tongue swept just beneath the head, curling up and flicking at the ridge. Hoseok's jaw opened wide and the only thing that came out was hot air. It felt too good. Too good to moan, too good to anything. Oh…oh my….. God.

Yoongi tried to pull Hoseok lower, but he didn't budge. He was still, and Yoongi distantly realized that this was the first time he was giving Hoseok head. He used Hoseok's hips to pull himself up, taking Hoseok to the back of his throat. 

" Oh my god! " He moaned out.

Yoongi gagged, falling back onto the mattress. He smacked Hoseok's hip while sputtering out a cough.

"Are you crazy! Shh!"

Hoseok jolted and clasped a hand over his mouth.

"Sorry! I'm sorry. I just… I had no idea it was that… god… that good." He lowered his hips, but Yoongi pushed the cock out of his face as he coughed again. "How the hell did you stay so quiet in the office?"

"Eh." Yoongi pumped Hoseok's cock a few more times before setting it to his lips. "Some people like it better than others I guess."

"How could you anyone not like that?" Hoseok shivered. "God, please do it again, I'll weld my mouth shut if I have to."

"Yeah…yeah." 

Despite the volcanic pleasure erupting through his system, Hoseok caught something in Yoongi's tone. Hoseok was still pumping his cock, but Yoongi's voice wasn't just steady, it was monotonous. Hoseok felt his brain scramble as Yoongi took him in all the way again, sucking him deep, when he came back up his tongue swished around him more. The noise, the noise was enough to drive him insane. Slurping, sucking, pops, gasps for air, and the one time Yoongi spat in his hand to make it more slippery. He couldn't think, but he had to. He needed to not be a selfish boyfriend. He had to do something that would make Yoongi feel just as good, or even better. Hoseok looked around him, then over his shoulder, his nightstand was right there, right in reach. Hoseok sat up, sitting backwards slightly to reach. Yoongi took him in all the way to the base of his cock. A low hiss left his tongue as he grabbed what he needed.

Yoongi gasped for air. He felt pride swell over his chest— he had deep throated Hoseok. That felt like an accomplishment of sorts. He took Hoseok back in his mouth, attempting to reach the same point again.

"Yoongi hold on." Hoseok pressed at Yoongi's knees which had squeezed together when Hoseok had sat on his face. If Hoseok realized that was what he did, he wasn't acting like it. "Open your legs."

Yoongi did, pressing deeper into his throat and needing to pull back before gagging. It was possible, just not easy.

Hoseok spread Yoongi's legs even wider, looking down between his legs. He could barely see Yoongi's asshole from that angle, let alone get a finger in. Maybe this was just a bad position for fingering? Although Hoseok was convinced that he would kill to stay as they were. His lips flattened into a straight line as he considered Yoongi's ass. How was he meant to get a better angle? He couldn't really get himself lower, but he could probably get Yoongi's hips higher? Still, there was a second step to all this that Hoseok hadn't really thought through. The reverse cow thing. He was supposed to straddle and bounce in reverse? That sounded wrong. The only thing he was sure about was that Yoongi was meant to stay on his back and it was going to be hard on Hoseok's knees. 

One hurdle at a time. Hoseok wrapped an arm around Yoongi's leg and his waist and pulled up until he could see Yoongi's hole. Like that, he had a great angle. Yet, he felt Yoongi claw and shove at his thighs. He set him down, looking down at Yoongi between his thighs. He was breathing heavy, saliva drooling down his chin, eyes glassy.

"Can I finger you?" Hoseok choked out.

Yoongi took several more deep breaths before responding.

"God… Hoseok." He looked completely out of it. "If…you want. But, let's switch positions, it'll be easier."

"Nono, it's perfect like this! I have a plan."

A plan? Yoongi couldn't breathe straight.

"Fine… but at least put a pillow under my hips." He reached back and grabbed one for Hoseok.

"Oh! Great idea!" Hoseok grabbed it and lifted Yoongi again, shoving the pillow under his lower back. "Pass me another."

"You need another?"

"Come on, come on."

Yoongi grabbed another pillow and Hoseok did the same again. He somehow managed to stack them folded in such a way that Yoongi felt like he was vertical. His lungs couldn't expand all the way, but most importantly, it was like he was being folded in half. Hoseok held his legs and tried to guide them to rest on his shoulders.

"I don't know how flexible you think I am, but—"

"Does that hurt?" 

Yoongi felt his face scrunch.

"It doesn't hurt." It didn't, but it was in no sense comfortable. "I just can't do this for long." 

Duh, of course . Yoongi's stamina.

"Oh! No worries, it shouldn't be too long I promise!" 

At the angle Yoongi was at, he couldn't reach Hoseok's cock anymore. He was just as disappointed as he was glad. He was getting dangerously close for Yoongi to not have been prepped yet. 

Hoseok pulled Yoongi's shorts further out of the way as he dribbled lube over his asshole. He poured some over his fingers as well before clicking the bottle shut. This was one thing he was way more confident about. Hoseok insisted that he do the prep, for practice. He knew what Yoongi liked the most, but he also knew what was practical to get to the better part. He pressed two fingers in, his pointer and middle, because Yoongi insisted they had sex often enough that one finger was meaningless. Hoseok pressed in and out twice before scissoring his fingers. That part he could do rather quickly, it was the third finger which slowed things down. He pressed his ring finger in, all of them only to the first knuckle, He had learned a tell of Yoongi's which was more reliable than his words or the facial expressions he hid. Yoongi always flexed his feet when he was trying to relax, or when it was beginning to hurt, but when his toes would start to curl, that meant he was feeling good. Hoseok watched them, not yet flexed, but not curled either. He pressed deeper, and deeper, all the way to the root of his finger. He watched as Yoongi's toes circled in like a flower pedal. He stayed there, just to make sure, but Yoongi's toes only clenched tighter. Jimin must have been some kind of genius, this position was even better than he was hoping for.

Hoseok pulled out his fingers and considered Yoongi's ass again, and his cock. Even though Yoongi's hips were so high, couldn't really stick his cock in very easily. He tore open a condom and rolled it down his shaft as he considered. Jimin said Yoongi was supposed to rest in this position, but he didn't look very rested. All he could do was shrug to himself and try. After pouring some extra lube he stood up and let his body arch over Yoongi's, like he was doing an awkward downward dog position in a beginners yoga class. He pressed more forwards and tried to get his cock in, but he couldn't reach unless Yoongi was more vertical or if his arms were shorter maybe?

"Hoseok. What the fuck is this?" 

He tried to go on his tippy toes, but that still wasn’t working. He really didn’t understand how this reverse cow position was meant to work. 

"It's, well you know I thought it would be more comfortable."

He shoved himself back up, and took the chance to rid himself completely of his skinny jeans. 

"How the fuck is this supposed to be comfortable!" 

Yoongi crossed his arms and huffed out a breath. There really wasn’t any reason he couldn’t have put a stop to this. Yet, Hoseok seemed more than determined, so he decided to let him have free reign. 

"Hold on." Hoseok scratched his head. "I'll fix it."

He tried to approach from the other side like it was really high missionary, but that couldn't have been right either. He wasn't supposed to be facing Yoongi, Hoseok remembered that much from Jimin's instructions. Straddle and bounce… straddle and bounce? Straddle and bounce! The genius of it hit like lightning. It was reversed because it was meant to be upside-down!

All Yoongi could do was watch as Hoseok stood up, placing a foot on either side of his head as he grabbed a hold of Yoongi’s thighs, pulling him even more vertical. 

“Hey hey!” He made a strangled noise as Hoseok really did fold him in half. “Hoseok!”

“Hold on.”

Hoseok stepped over Yoongi, between his legs. Yoongi grasped onto his one ankle to try and hold himself as one of his feet fell down the mattress and the other was caught in Hoseok’s armpit.

“Perfect.”

 Hoseok was beaming. Yoongi bent his knee to kick him, but there really wasn’t anything he could do from that position. 

“Not a single part of this is perfect.”

Hoseok adjusted himself again, tiptoes pushing craters into the mattress. Yoongi half expected to be stepped on, maybe the world was putting him out of his misery. 

“What’d you say?”

Yoongi groaned at him instead of answering. Whatever noises which came out of him were muffled and straggled, but even louder as Hoseok pushed his cock in. He sputtered, clawing into Hoseok's calf. He was split open and plunged into. Hoseok didn't stop until his balls were resting against Yoongi's. He gasped out as the curve of Hoseok's cock aimed directly into his prostate. The stretch hadn't even hurt, it was only so intense that he felt like he was dying, maybe from that angle he really was. Hoseok straightened his knees, pulling back all the way out and shoving back in without giving him a chance to adjust. Yoongi couldn't get out any words, only noises which sounded like was trying to pronounce a keyboard smash. Hoseok wasn't just deep enough to be in his stomach, he actually was. From that angle Yoongi could see his lower belly bulge and retreat along with Hoseok's plunging thrusts. It finally hit Yoongi, they were scissoring. They were literally scissoring. So it was only after Hoseok got free that they could have scissors, great . Yoongi groaned out at the heat burning in his stomach. He did not understand how his body was enjoying this. He wasn't going to be able to stand straight for weeks, let alone walk, and that was just from the position, not the sex. When did Hoseok's sex ideas go from 'teach me please' to 'I'm going to manually pose you for one of the stupidest sex positions, just so I can mount you and bounce until you're crippled.' He bit down on his hand to shut himself up. He was so close, so unbelievably close. He really couldn't believe it. If Hoseok wasn't so fucking deep, or if his cock didn't perfectly angle into his prostate… or… His mind began to go blank as he fought tooth and nail to keep every cry and scream as only small squeaks or low grunts. 

Hoseok on the other hand, had no problem moaning outright as if he didn't have a reason to be quiet.

"Ho…ah….Ho..seo…k—shh!"

"But it— ah~h — feels… nhgg —so good…"'

Hoseok speed up even further with short deep thrusts and Yoongi was losing it.

"Gonna… hmmnnahgnn — kill… Ha hnnshhmg — fuck… shit, fuck— ah ."

He came, he fucking came. He seriously couldn't believe it. Yoongi pinched his face tight, feeling a droplet of cum drool over his eyelid. There wasn't a worse sex position Hoseok could have picked.

The intensity of the pleasure was stalkpiling, only growing the more Hoseok pumped into him. Yoongi whined out, kicking at Hoseok's back to either get him off, or to get him to hurry up. Pressure was building in his skull from being upside-down too long, it was throbbing, same as his lower back. He needed to roll over and lay flat on his stomach to reset the direction of his spine.

Hoseok felt his knees burn, but it wasn't loud enough as the building pressure of his orgasm. He thrusted a final time, nearly sitting down on Yoongi as he rode out the height of his pleasure. Yet, something felt like it was missing. He tried to look down at Yoongi, but he couldn't see him, he could barely hear him either. Was that what was missing? Hearing Yoongi melt, to see him completely lose his cool at Hoseok's touch. Was he being spoiled? Hoseok had spent their last many times basking in Yoongi's pleasure. This time was weird. Yoongi wasn't that loud, even though by the clenching of his toes it must have felt good. An empty feeling withered its way into Hoseok's stomach. He didn't understand, but when he pulled out, he still wanted more, despite the fact that he had come. There was always a feeling that accompanied coming, something akin to satisfaction. This time… it wasn't enough.

Yoongi yanked his leg back and Hoseok dodged out of the way as he fell to his side. Yoongi groaned out and coughed, sucking in a sharp breath as he got onto his hands and knees and crawled toward his side of the bed. Hoseok considered his ass again, this time like it was a sirens call. He gulped down the lump in his throat and took a step towards Yoongi and dropped one knee.

"Woah wait wait— Hoseok what—" Yoongi swatted at the hand Hoseok set on his hip, but Hoseok didn't wait to thrust his cock back in. He wanted more. "Hey!" Yoongi dropped down to his forearms and glared daggers at Hoseok. "What are you doing?"

Hoseok winced, his cock screamed at him to stop. It felt good for a brief second, but then it was like he flew too close to the sun. The pleasure burned him, singing his sensitive dick. He couldn't, no matter how much he wanted to, he just couldn't do more. 

"I… I don't know." He said, scratching his head as if he could scratch to some sort of clarity. Why was this happening now? He just wanted to keep going. "I just… I wanted to do it longer, I guess."

Yoongi's eyebrows stitched together, and the glare only darkened.

"We both came. Sex is over. Pull out."

"B… but Yoongi."

"Hoseok. I could kill you right now. Pull out." He pushed at Hoseok's hips. "I'm tired and I can't feel my back. I…" His whole body trembled. "I can't…"

Hoseok yanked out, falling back on his ass. He watched helplessly as Yoongi pulled up his shorts, and his hoodie down. He glared a final time at Hoseok as if he had done something really bad this time. Like a scolded dog, Hoseok's tail fell between his legs as he stared up at Yoongi with wide watering eyes. Yet, Yoongi didn't kill him, but he didn't say anything else, he only laid down and rolled away from Hoseok. Somehow that was worse.

Hoseok withered. He wanted to apologize, or explain himself, but he couldn't force his mouth to open. All he wanted to do was cry. He got up and changed into some sleeping shorts before leaving Yoongi alone. After closing the door, he rested against the wall for a second. He reached down and adjusted his cock, jolting away as if it hurt. It didn't hurt, it was just sensitive, painfully sensitive. Yet, that wasn't the only thing which was sore. His knees and thighs were burning. 

He let out a long sigh, glancing up to catch Jimin peeking his head out of his bedroom door. They made eye contact for a second, and Jimin gave him an assertive thumbs up before retreating back into his room. Hoseok tilted his head. Jimin was weird sometimes, but not that weird. He shrugged it off and made his way towards the kitchen. He resigned himself to whipping up an apology dessert. He was about to open Google for recommendations before he heard the muffled voices. People were in the kitchen. He got closer. People were arguing in the kitchen. He glanced across the dorm and found Seokjin making exaggerated gestures with his arms and Namjoon fidgeting awkwardly, looking more exasperated opposed to Seokjin's anger.

"This isn't even about them, any of them. Why don't we talk about the elephant in the room huh!"

"Uh… which elephant?"

"Are you kidding me! Which elephant — You moved the beds apart!"

"Ohhh, that."

"Yeah that," Seokjin said, "You could have just told me you didn't like it! Moving them apart behind my back is so— so— ugh !"

Namjoon scratched his side and settled his arms across his chest.

"I only did that because you barely slept last night, you looked miserable all day. I just thought it would be better like this."

"You're unbelievable." Jin yanked his keys off the hook. "Well sor-ry for wanting to be closer!"

 "Why would you want to be closer?" Seokjin slammed the door and Namjoon groaned, grumbling a low, "I seriously can't do anything right…"

Hoseok pursed his lips and took a hesitant step back. He really hadn't meant to stumble into their argument, he just needed dessert for Yoongi. 

Namjoon crossed the room and opened the door, pausing for a second to point directly at Hoseok.

"And you." He pressed his forehead into the door as if what he wanted to say was physically painful. Hoseok was stuck, frozen in place mid step. "I don't have time to talk about it, but did you and Yoongi really have to do it with everyone home? I'm already having a hard enough time getting Jimin and Jungkook to cut it out, but now they're going to think it's okay to do it whenever because you two did." 

"Oh my god." He paled. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry, it just got— well, it was— I was— he was— god please don't tell Yoongi."

Namjoon looked out the door, then back at him.

"Fine. And don't say sorry, just don't do it again."

In a single word, Hoseok was mortified.

Chapter Text

Yoongi finally had control over the TV again, determined to re-attempt to watch Tazza uninterrupted, but that plan was going wrong fast. Namjoon had sat down to watch with him, which, fine , Namjoon sat on the other couch quiet enough to not ruin the atmosphere. Then Jin walked in and started popping popcorn. Yoongi had to turn up the volume when he and Namjoon started up a conversation, then he had to pause it when the sound of the popping began to overwhelm. Days ago Jin couldn't even look at Namjoon, but once that popcorn popped, Jin sat himself down and swung his knees over Namjoon's lap, and Namjoon stroked his legs. It was… gross. Yoongi made several disgusted faces, all of which were ignored as they whispered to each other.

"Your legs are cold."

"Are they? Get me a blanket and maybe I'll share my popcorn."

"You weren't going to share?"

Yoongi turned the volume up even louder. He was already in a foul mood without the added aggravation. He had planned a date weekend for him and Hoseok. They were going to do a roadtrip to Incheon for a day of fishing. He already booked a hotel room for them, because it had been a while since they had the house to themselves. And on the second day they were going to sleep in and go out for lunch, then a movie, and then maybe dinner too. Just, time for them to be alone, and away from work and everyone else. Yet, Hoseok had forgotten and double booked himself. Instead of driving down to Incheon, Yoongi was stuck in the dorm living room— forced to witness Jin and Namjoon cuddling — while Hoseok spent the weekend home with his mom and sister. 

"If you were a tuna would you bite my fishing rod?"

"Uhhhh… depends? I… think?"

"Then I guess it depends on whether you grab that blanket or not."

Yoongi grumbled out an "ew" and put a hand to his temple to block them out. All he wanted was to watch his movie, was that too hard to ask for!

"Hey, Yoongiiii." Yoongi's frown pulled lower as he felt Taehyung lean over the back of the couch and poke at the crown of his head. "Yoongiiii." He poked more at Yoongi's head until he finally looked up. Taehyung smiled a boxy smile at him before poking him a final time on the nose. "I need your help with something."

Yoongi let out a long exasperated sigh. He looked back at his movie, one of his favourite parts, then he looked over at Namjoon and Jin. Jin threw a piece of popcorn into Namjoon's mouth and they both giggled in celebration as he caught it. Yoongi dropped the remote and stood, whatever Taehyung wanted couldn't have been worse than that torment.

Taehyung led him towards his bedroom, and Yoongi reluctantly followed. All he wanted was a cute get away weekend with his boyfriend. Just him and Hoseok and nothing else. He couldn't help but drag his feet. 

"Okay, what do you want?" Yoongi yawned. "You and Jimin have another dumpling war or something?"

What was he kidding, Taehyung only bothered him when he wanted something, usually free food. Jimin and Taehyung would tag team him just to take advantage of his wallet. Why, Yoongi didn't know. They both had more than enough of their own money. Although, a small part of him contested that food did taste better when Jin treated him.

"No, nothing like that." Taehyung waved him off and shut the door. He took a deep breath and dramatically moved to the center of the room, psyching himself up as if he was doing an acting gig. "Hyung. I need you to do something for me."

"You already said." Yoongi was withering. He had no energy without Hoseok around. 

Taehyung took a step closer to Yoongi. Normally Yoongi only had to glare to get Taehyung to see the invisible boundaries surrounding him. The 'no one except sometimes Hoseok' space. When Taehyung took another step forward, Yoongi felt something shift in the air, something which made his hair stand on end and walls come up in full force.

"Well actually, what I really need is to confirm something… and I can't do it with anyone else."

Yoongi knew it, he always knew it, but now he knew it for sure. Taehyung was a crazy bastard. 

"Yeah, I'm out." Yoongi turned to the door but Taehyung lunged after him. He got the door open a few inches before Taehyung slammed it shut. Yoongi glared up at the arm over his shoulder, he was well into the 'no one except sometimes Hoseok' space.

"Tae. What are you doing."

Yoongi turned around and gave Taehyung a look that would have killed anyone less crazy.

"You can't leave! I really need your help! Just, stand still for a second— it'll only take a second."

Taehyung leaned closer, slowly, letting his mouth fall open and eyes roll back.

"Over my dead body." 

Yoongi shoved at Taehyung's face, usually that was all it took. Except, Taehyung didn't shove off. He pushed harder, and a hand ripped Yoongi's out of the way. Yoongi backed into the door, but Taehyung kept coming.

"Taehyung." He changed his tone as if he was scolding Min Holly. "Don't you dare." He twisted his head to the side, but Taehyung grasped his jaw to hold him in place. "Taehyung no ." He tried to kick but he couldn't do anything but twist his lips inwards in disgust. "No. no. No!"

Moist lips met his adjacent mouth area. Yoongi continued to push and twist away, but Taehyung held him there for seconds which lasted hours. Finally, he stepped away and caught a swap across the back of the head from Yoongi.

"Hey! Ow!" Taehyung rubbed the back of his head, then prodded at his lips. "Can I try again?"

"I will kill you to death and burn your corpse."

He whined out like a child who hadn't gotten his way as Yoongi wiped his mouth.

"But that didn't help at all! You didn't even do it properly!"

Try as he might, Taehyung had infected him with his cooties and Yoongi needed to purge the Tae-germs along with the memory. 

"Do what?" Yoongi said, exasperation making his voice go high. "What do you even want?" 

Taehyung sighed and sat back on his bed. His lips twisted into a pout as he fidgeted. So now you're nervous . Great . Yoongi scratched the frustration out of his head and waited. He could at least hear Taehyung out before killing him, everyone deserved a final word.

"What I need to confirm is…” He dropped backwards with a distant expression. He was miles away from where they were, yet in Yoongi’s mind he couldn’t get far enough. “If I’m gay or not.”

Yoongi blinked, then again. And his own mind drifted away to planet 51-What, where all the aliens all collectively said “Whatttt” in harmony for hours. Yoongi shook his head, five minutes with Taehyung and the crazy was infecting him.

“Ew.” He wiped his mouth harder. “You have a crush on me or something?”

“No.” Taehyung huffed a sad breath. “Someone confessed to me. A friend— a guy friend— and I don’t know… I was going to turn him down right then and there, but you know, a part of me was like ‘how can you turn him down? You like him? He’s attractive? If he was a girl you’d probably think about it longer.’ So here I am thinking about it longer, I guess? I had to confirm whether or not I could, you know… swing that way?”

There was so much to break down and digest from that monologue, Yoongi didn’t know where to start. So maybe Taehyung was gay, or bi, or something on the spectrum, sure, Yoongi could see that. And maybe Taehyung was dumb enough to overcomplicate something that easy, but the whole needing to confirm through him, that part Yoongi could not wrap his mind around.

“If you needed to confirm then go kiss him, not me.” He wiped his mouth again. “That shit was nasty.”

“Don’t be mean! And I wouldn’t do that— leading a friend on without knowing I can reciprocate his feelings, that’s also mean! It had to be you.”

“Why me?”

Taehyung crossed his arms and sat up.

“Well I wouldn’t kiss Namjoon-hyung, that’s disrespectful. And Hobi-hyung said that once was enough for him. And no offence, Hyung, but if Jin and you were both angrily chasing me, I could outrun you.”

Yoongi’s eyes pinched together. Just because it was true didn’t make him like it anymore.

“And why isn’t Jimin or Jungkook on that list?”

“Well… Jimin’s my platonic soulmate, and bestie— and honestly some drunk nights we’re one bottle away from bromance becoming a really weird night, and I really don’t want to push that.”

Yoongi’s face sank into even further disgusted annoyance. He didn’t want to hear any of this. All he wanted was for Hoseok to apparate in front of him and for the rest of the world and all its problems to disappear. 

“And JK? Worried he might like it ‘too much’ as well?”

Taehyung pursed his lips and fidgeted. His cheeks were starting to go red as his thoughts took him away again. 

“Well…” He got even redder and Yoongi further cringed. How had his strength failed him so catastrophically, how had he let this kiss him? “Wellllllll…” The longer Taehyung hesitated the deeper into despair Yoongi sank. He needed out. He needed Hoseok and he needed out. “Welllllllllllllll—”

“If you don’t shut the fuck—” Yoongi hesitated over his own tongue. Realization hit him like a train, then a boat, then a plane. “Oh my god, Jungkook’s the friend.”

Taehyung shot up.

“SHhshhsh!” He tried to place a finger over Yoongi’s mouth but he slapped the hand away. “Ow… Look. You can’t say anything.”

It didn’t make any sense at all. Yoongi was getting overstimulated from it all, the thoughts, the feelings, the frustration.

“I don’t get it.”

“Well.” Taehyung let out a stained noise. “Listen. I know it’s really risky… and the manager already was on me and JK for being too close , but it’s been years now. But we could figure it out… right? And it’s not like anyone here seems prejudice, so I don’t think they’d mind… if we… you know… dated.” Yoongi took a deep, very deep, unsettled breath— Taehyung winced. “Don’t sound that disappointed in me… that’s mean.”

“I’m not… Okay, listen. I’m not prejudice. I don’t get it, because I don’t understand why Jungkook would confess to you . Are you sure you heard him right?”

“Jeez… you don’t have to be shocked that he likes me. That’s also mean.”

“Tae.”

“Yeah yeah.” He scratched his neck. “I heard him right… I definitely heard him right.”

Idiots. All three of them. How was it possible that Taehyung didn’t know Jimin and Jungkook were dating? He was extremely close to both of them, but he also shared a wall with them. Yoongi and Hoseok had to push the beds to the other side of the room in order to get further away from the shared wall. Jimin wasn’t quiet, and he simply didn’t care. Not only that, but he was talking as if he didn’t know that the dorm was filled with a bunch of queer couples. So maybe he wasn’t present at the group meetings when they talked about it, but it wasn’t a secret. Yet he wasn’t the only idiot. How was it possible that Jungkook was confessing to someone else while in a—allbeit rocky— relationship. Or he was a big enough idiot to confuse Taehyung and Jimin, which seemed unlikely. And Jimin was an idiot because… well, just because. He was loud and Yoongi was losing sleep over it. Knowingly disturbing Yoongi’s sleep had to qualify him.

“You need to confirm with Jungkook— by talking to him. And I mean that, Taehyung, don’t kiss him. I might not have a problem with you two, but I think Jungkook’s boyfriend might.”

Taehyung blinked.

“His what?”

Yoongi seriously didn’t get it.

“His boyfriend, the one he’s been dating for years.”

“What!” Taehyung shot up and gripped Yoongi’s shoulders, yanking at him wildly to shake the information out of him. “Who! What? Please be joking! That isn’t funny at all! Why would he confess to me if he was dating, that doesn’t make sense. A-and I would have known if he had been dating! Especially for that long! Even if it isn’t a joke, then, I mean, who would Jungkook choose over me? Come on, who? I need their name and how they look and—”

“I’m not joking.” Yoongi shoved Taehyung off. “Taehyung. I don’t know how you didn’t know, but it’s not like they’ve been hiding it. At all . But if I were you I would think twice about trying to date your best friend’s boyfriend.”

“What?”

Yoongi waited for the answer to click, but Taehyung was blank. Yoongi reached up and flicked Taehyung’s forehead.

“It’s Jimin.”

He reeled, rubbing his forehead.

“Huh?” He rubbed harder. “Would you stop attacking me already, this is serious.”

Instead of knocking his brain cells into gear, he only further scrambled them. Yoongi sighed, Taehyung really was going to make him spell the whole thing out.

“Jimin is Jungkook’s boyfriend.” He said.

“That’s not funny. No he isn’t.”

“Taehyung.”

“No he isn’t!”

“Tae—”

“You're lying and it’s not funny!” 

He stuck his fingers in his ears and started singing to tune out Yoongi’s voice.

“Oh come on, really?” He tried to pull Taehyung’s fingers out of his ears, but he only started backtrecking out of the room. “Oh great. Very mature. I was trying to help– oh you’re so dead!” Yoongi stomped after him, and Taehyung broke into a run, snatching his keys off the hook before slamming the front door closed. “Run as fast as you like, I know where you live!”

Yoongi slammed the door behind Taehyung and groaned loud enough to knock the old married couple out of their lovey-dovey mood. Jin sighed as Namjoon pushed his legs off to stand.

“Gentle reminder.” Namjoon let out a nervous chuckle. “Murder is illegal.” Yoongi slowly turned his neck, letting it creak like an old door in a thriller flick. “Oh boy— You know, I think I left the computer on at the office.”

Yoongi watched as he retreated— he needed Hoseok to hurry back before he burned the dorm down.

“Eh? Wait Namjoon!” Jin let out a loud whine as the door shut. “Oh come on!” He slammed the back of his head against the couch and launched a handful of popcorn at Yoongi’s back. “You suck. Like the worst kind of vampire. What does fun taste like, Old Man?”

He threw another handful of popcorn as Yoongi sat across from him. 

“You…” Yoongi groaned and dropped his head in his hands. “…Seriously need to get your kids in order.”

Jin threw a final kernel which bounced off of Yoongi’s forehead. A perfect bullseye.

“And you need to stop calling them my kids.”

“Fine. You and your husband’s kids—”

“Not their parents. Either of us.” Jin set the popcorn bowl down on the table and crossed his knee. “Just tell me the damage, what did Taehyung do this time?”

Yoongi had to keep himself from dry heaving.

“Nevermind… that .” The last thing Yoongi needed was anyone knowing about that. He would rather die before that hit Hoseok’s ears. Yoongi scraped a hand down his face and sat up. “Taehyung’s just a menace, like usual, and the Jimin-JK situation is gaining enough traction to go nuclear. We really need to make a decision.”

Jin crossed his arms and said, “decide what?”

This was the last thing Yoongi wanted to do, let alone talk about. However, the further he ignored all the issues, the greater they would snowball.

“Jimin and Jungkook are a ticking time bomb, and now with Taehyung too— they are heading towards a breakup so spectacular we’re all going to get caught in the blow out. So… let’s decide when it’s time for us to step in.”

***

What Yoongi would do to anyone who told him he needed to break up with Hoseok. There wasn’t a single thing too gruesome to be taken off the table, but this was different. Yoongi and Hoseok’s relationship wasn’t a sinking ship, they were sailing steady— they were fine . He was fine. Everything was fine.

Yoongi downed the rest of his drink with a groan on his tongue as it burned the perfect way down his throat. He regarded the glass for an extra moment then set it down between him and Jungkook. Yoongi was supposed to pull him aside to have some sort of one-on-one talk. A mature talk about what the hell was going through this kid’s head. Really, it was meant to be an assessment. Jin was talking to Taehyung while Yoongi talked to Jungkook. They had agreed to assess first before making a final decision on whether or not they needed to intervene. Hence why Yoongi had taken Jungkook out for Lamb skewers instead of waiting at the door for the moment Hoseok arrived back home. 

There were a lot of things Yoongi could force himself to do when he didn’t want to, but this was a hard one. Jungkook was his youngest brother, he used to pick him up from school. What was he even supposed to say anyways… Are you crazy? Confessing to Taehyung while dating Jimin? What are you doing! Two best friends, and you want to date them both? Yoongi groaned and ordered another drink. He hadn’t found the words when they were eating, and he still couldn’t find them after a good douse of liquid courage. They used to joke about Jungkook being an international playboy, but maybe that wasn’t as far from the truth as he thought. 

“You’re a mess.” 

Yoongi withered against the face of the bar. Jungkook followed him, his eyes pressed wide with a thousand things he didn’t say. Yoongi decided that he knew, that he must have known exactly what they were meant to talk about.

“I know.” Jungkook said. He withered further, lost in his thoughts. At the very least, he was thinking. “I know…”

Jungkook paid for their drinks, which was a nice change. He was already Twenty-two, and Yoongi was still treating him to lamb skewers, and most of the meals they ate alone together. Or maybe this was a bribe, something to buy Yoongi’s peace of mind. Bribe or not, Yoongi decided it was no longer his business. Jungkook was an adult now, he could get himself out of his own mess.

Yoongi followed Jungkook back into the dorm, needing an extra minute to get his shoes off without toppling over. He wasn’t drunk, but he was on the way there. So maybe he had assumed Jungkook was more of a lightweight then he was. Yoongi kicked off his runners and stumbled over Jungkook’s docs, then another set of runners. They had too many damn shoes, hundreds or more between the seven of them. At least Yoongi was decent enough to only keep one set out at once. Jimin and Jungkook were both shoe tyrants, having six sets out at once on an organized day. Although, one set in the amalgamate pile up stood out to Yoongi. Chunky colourful sneakers set neatly to the side. They screamed Hoseok the same way they did on the shelf before Yoongi had bought them. Hoseok…

Yoongi set his eyebrows and stormed towards the bedroom. His mouth was tingling still, even after he had washed his face twice the previous night. He needed it overwritten. Yoongi swung open his bedroom door, ready to jump Hoseok for a kiss. He stopped short, finding Hoseok and Jimin sat against his bed, talking in hushed serious tones. They both jolted at Yoongi’s interruption, as if they were doing something wrong. Yoongi narrowed his eyes, but his suspicions faded when Jimin took a deflated breath.

“I guess that means Kookie’s back too huh?” He pushed himself up. “Already…”

Hoseok stood as well and gave him a sturdy pat.

“You’ve got this!” Hoseok dropped his arm around Jimin’s neck and pat his chest. “But if you need a bit longer, Yoongi and I don’t mind if—”

“We mind.” 

Yoongi held the door open and glared at Jimin. Get out. Get out. Get out. Jimin must have heard his inner thoughts, quick stepping out of the door. Despite how desperately he needed alone time with Hoseok, he still had a heart. Yoongi held the door open for a few extra moments.

“If you two love each other enough, it’ll work itself out.”

He slammed the door shut before Jimin could get another word in. Yoongi wanted things to work out, whatever that looked like, as much as the next person. It was just that his skin was crawling against the pounding of his heart. Drinking usually made him happy, that wasn’t how he felt. He needed to scream, he needed to claw at the skin around his mouth, but most of all, he needed everything to be fine. Yoongi told Jimin that everything would work itself out, but he didn’t know what he would do if Hoseok confessed to someone else. A deep, ice cold shiver ran up his spine.

Hoseok tilted his head. There was something in the air, something thick and stuffy. He didn’t understand— Yoongi wasn’t mad at him. At least, he didn’t think that was right. The tension in the air didn’t feel any specific type of emotion, it was only as it was. Tense.  

“That… wasn’t very nice.” Hoseok hesitated over the words, plopping down at the foot of the bed. “I’m worried about him, about both—” Yoongi pivoted. “Of…” He didn’t hesitate for a second as he kneeled on either side of Hoseok’s hips, wrapping his arms around his neck. “Them… Uhh, Yoongi?”

“Worry about them later.” 

He dropped his face into the crook of Hoseok’s neck. He was hugging him tight enough to make Hoseok shift his worry. Hoseok brought his arms around Yoongi’s back and held him. Yoongi smelt like liquor, sharp and strong, just like he was. Yet, there was something soft which dwelled beneath the surface. Something which radiated warmth into Hoseok’s chest. It felt like Yoongi was saying that he missed him, without the words.

It wasn’t that Hoseok needed the words, but he would have preferred them outloud.

“Yoongi?”

Yoongi breathed him in, air tickling Hoseok’s bare neck as his scent was ushered away into Yoongi’s lungs. On an exhale, the air came out sharp, but warmed, drifting against Hoseok’s cheek. As quick as a single breath, Hoseok didn’t care so much about anyone else’s problems.

“I need a kiss.” Yoongi breathed, stealing the air from Hoseok’s lungs. “Right now.”

He was so… so, “...cute.” Hoseok hadn’t meant for his mouth to open. “I mean! Uh— shit, Uh…” It wasn’t his fault, Yoongi was ridiculously cute. Climbing on his lap for a hug and then demanding a kiss? He couldn’t get cuter. “I mean sexy!”

He waited for Yoongi to get angry at him, as per usual when his tongue slipped and he let out the c-word. Instead, Yoongi gripped his chin and pressed in. The skin of their lips met as clashing feathers— light, airy, and tangled while drifting downwards. Hoseok’s back met the mattress, and his tongue reintroduced itself to Yoongi’s. It had only been a day and a half, and Hoseok hadn’t realized how much he missed Yoongi until he was in his arms. Had Yoongi been lonely without him? If this tension had a name, was it called loneliness?

Yoongi drifted his fingers down Hoseok’s chest to his waist, fingers teasing at the hem of his shirt. He pressed in deeper, matching Hoseok’s need before Yoongi snatched himself up. Hoseok blinked, mouth parted open and wet with their saliva.

“Uh?”

Yoongi blinked back at him, eyebrows drawn in. Hoseok felt his stomach knot.

“What?” 

Yoongi took another step away, turning away from Hoseok. His hand got the doorknot by the chance Hoseok found his words.

“That’s it?” 

He winced— of all the words he found those ones. Hoseok waited for Yoongi to get angry at him, because that was normal between them. Hoseok would bumble, Yoongi would get angry, and like opposing magnets they somehow always clicked together. 

Yoongi held open the door, spinning back around with his lip caught between his teeth.

“Mm~m.” He hummed out, tone sultry. “Well isn’t someone needy… I only said I needed a kiss.”

The door closed behind him and the knot in Hoseok’s throat bubbled up into his throat. 

Hoseok had no idea what any of it meant. Was he lonely or not— angry or what? I don’t get it! For some reason or other, to Hoseok, there was nothing more unsettling Yoongi could have done.

Chapter Text

Hoseok was more than mortified, he was freaking out— he was losing it! For years he had felt that Yoongi and him were a joint force. Two spectral forces with fingers intertwined, no matter what he messed up or did, he always felt connected. Yet, Yoongi started looking at him with something distant hidden behind his eyes. Something fundamental had shifted, and Hoseok couldn't figure out why. What had he done to mess things up so catastrophically that he could call Yoongi cute and he would smile. No glare, no grumbling— just a smile. Hoseok couldn't just feel them unraveling, he could taste it. He needed to do something and do it quickly.

"Oh perfect! Just the man I wanted to see!" 

Hoseok made finger guns at Jimin. He was wearing a large baggy sweater, being swallowed alive by the couch with a small pint of ice cream held up to his noise. I looked completely melted, and uneaten, like he was just smelling it not eating it. Jimin didn't look up at Hoseok, he only gave a low grumble of acknowledgement.

Hoseok plopped himself down next to Jimin. Usually he preferred to have these kinds of conversations privately in one of their rooms, but the dorm was pretty empty. Namjoon and Yoongi were in the office and Seokjin and Taehyung were doing a photoshoot. Jungkook was home, at least Hoseok was pretty certain he was still playing video games.

"Sooooooo," He said, dragging on the word as long as he could. How was he supposed to put the problem into words? Please help, I called Yoongi a 'cutie-pie' this morning and I'm still breathing . Instead, Hoseok started elsewhere. "How'd it go? You talked with JK right?"

Jimin hummed flatly.

"You didn't?"

He hummed again.

"You did?" Jimin sighed. "Oh good! I was worried that you wouldn't."

They had a long conversation when Hoseok had arrived back at the dorm— Jimin needed to vent. Hoseok had been on roller coasters with fewer ups and downs, he had no idea what their relationship was really like until Jimin opened up. Well, not that he wasn't open, but about the stuff that wasn't sex, Jimin never really talked about that. When they were really mad at each other, Jimin would break up with him. Hoseok didn't really think it counted though, since Jimin said they had only ever been broken up for a few hours every time. When he forgave Jungkook, that's when they were 'back together again.' Hoseok didn't really understand, but he did understand that breaking up wasn't what Jimin wanted. Hoseok wasn't confident in the advice he had given Jimin then, and in seeing the after effect, that feeling was doubled. He really wasn't cut out for advice. 'Just sit him down and be honest, no matter how awkward or stupid you feel, tell him how you really feel.' Apparently honesty isn't always the best policy if Jimin's mood was any indication.

"Sorry—"

"Don't be." Jimin's mood sank even deeper. "We talked, but not really." He took a deep huff of ice cream and deflated before Hoseok's eyes. "I tried to be honest, but that didn't work, so I got angry and sarcastic, which made him cry— I don't even know where we are now. Are we broke up, are we together? I don't fucking know because we can't even fucking talk to each other like normal people!"

"Oh…" Hoseok's voice trailed off. 

"I mean obviously I didn't want him to cry, or well, maybe just a little, but that's just because he was going on and on about maybe not getting back together— how could even say that! Every other time he gives me puppy dog eyes and I come crawling back. It doesn't make sense!" Jimin started yelling, intentionally loud enough that Jungkook would be able to hear through his headphones. "Every year you get older yet you become more of a baby!" He sat up and slammed the ice cream on the coffee table, turning around to yell at his bedroom door. "First you become a hardass about sex, now you're a hardass about our whole relationship!"

There was silence from the bedroom.

"Maybe… we should calm down?" Jimin's face distorted into a deep set frown as he sank back into the couch. "How about a distraction!" Hoseok poked at his arm and put on a silly voice. "I need some advice. Where's my little cupid, huh? I require a consultation ."

Jimin's face further distorted.

"Dr. Cupid has stepped out of his office. Call back later."

Yeah… Hoseok really wasn't getting that advice. He sighed and hooked an arm around Jimin's shoulders.

"Then how about we go out, huh? Something to cheer you up and take your mind off of Jungkook for a bit. That'll do you some…" Jimin stood up. "good— Jimin?"

He started storming towards his bedroom.

"And another thing!" He screamed, slamming the door open and shut behind him. Hoseok could hear the argument clear as day through the wall. "You're lucky I even considered giving you another chance, Jeon Jungkook. I could have anyone on the planet instead of your ungrateful crybaby ass! Maybe I should go date someone else! Someone else who might actually put out every once in a fucking— Oh come on, don't cry. Mm.. God don't… okay okay, don't cry… I didn't mean it… I'm sorry for yelling."

Hoseok smiled, that was a good sign. All they needed was a good honest heart to heart. Like in the movies, that always worked. Hoseok looked down at his hands. Is that what he needed to do as well? To sit Yoongi down and tell him about this feeling… that was a thought. It really was easier said than done. Hoseok was… mortified. He couldn't imagine a world without Yoongi and him together. His greatest fear was Yoongi echoing the notion of breaking up as easily as Jimin did. Hoseok could bear a lot of things… but not that.

The bedroom door slammed open again, and Hoseok jolted out of his thoughts. He looked back to see Jungkook storming towards the front, Jimin hot on his heels while yanking back on his pants.

"What do you mean you don't feel like it? Who doesn't want makeup sex!"

"Why is everything sex!" Jungkook yelled back, turning at Jimin. "It's like you don't even—" He stopped mid-scream and groaned, cheeks bright red as he caught Hoseok's eyes. "Just— just leave me alone."

Jungkook left, leaving the door wide open.

"Oh yeah, real mature!" Jimin hung out of the door to yell his last few words. "Don't think I'm going to chase after you! It's not like I'm desperate!" He slammed the door closed, then opened it again. "And don't expect me to fall for your stupid crying act again! You can fuck right off with that." The door closed and opened again. "And come back once you've checked your attitude! Maybe if you beg you'll get lucky enough for me to take your ass back!"

Hoseok pushed himself up and walked to Jimin, setting a hand on his shoulder. So much for heart to hearts. This wasn't a movie.

"Jimin…"

"Just wait." He held the door open, letting out a nervous cackle. "He's going to be back here in five minutes on his knees and sobbing. He will. Just wait." A tear ran down his cheek, and another, falling like rain droplets at the doorway. "He loves me, so he's going to come back. Just wait…"

"Okay." Hoseok rubbed Jimin's shoulder. "We'll wait."

***

So having a heart to heart was out, and bothering Jimin about anything relationship-wise was strictly forbidden. Asking for relationship advice from someone who just got out of one, Hoseok wasn't that dumb. Yet Hoseok still desperately needed to fix whatever wasn't working in his relationship with Yoongi. All other options were out, so Hoseok turned back to the internet.

What exactly wasn't working in the relationship— Hoseok didn't have a clue. Yoongi adamantly refused to get mad at him, not even the slightest bit frustrated. Hoseok could call him his cutie-pewdie-smoo and pinch his cheeks, and Yoongi would brush Hoseok's bangs and tell him he was creative. Creative . It was so hollow and distant— but most importantly it wasn't Yoongi. Hoseok knew for a fact that it wasn't just Yoongi giving up on getting Hoseok to stop seeing him as cute— no, if that were the case, then that would be the only thing that was different. Yoongi had been distant before when things were weird between them, but only sexually. If Hoseok leant in for a kiss, Yoongi would kiss him— that was a fundamental rule that had never been broken. Until… well, that night. Hoseok was ready for bed, and noticed that Yoongi still had some toothpaste on the corner of his mouth. Like a good boyfriend, Hoseok brushed it away with his thumb then leant in for a goodnight kiss. Yoongi looked him in the eye, with that distant expression, and moved away. It dawned on Hoseok just how long it had been since they last kissed. It was that kiss, the night Yoongi started acting strange, and no more. Weeks without a single kiss— not even a peck!  With Jimin and Jungkook's breakup in the background, Hoseok had to act quickly before there was a second breakup in the dorm.

He scrolled and scrolled until his thumbs ached. Panickedly scanning through thousands of words. Blogs, posts, journals, and forums. Anything he could get his greedy fingers on. At least one person had to have the solution to his problem. Or maybe not just one, but all. Hoseok took a few different answers and crushed them between his palms, molding them into one perfect amalgamate solution. If Yoongi wasn't letting Hoseok go to him, then he just had to get Yoongi to come to him instead. He also needed to find a way to excite him, to draw him in and refresh. Something not too embarrassing, and something Yoongi wouldn't immediately shoot down. Hoseok grabbed a marker and began to jot down his amalgamate plan. 

***

Yoongi was being dumb, he knew that much. Jungkook and Jimin breaking up had nothing to do with him. Well, maybe just a little. Maybe he'd pushed Jungkook into a decision after the night he took him out. Maybe because he went to Jin, Jin pushed Jimin as well. It wasn't his fault— probably —but that didn't stop him from feeling uncertainty crawl beneath his skin. Like ants, the uncertainty dug tunnels in his muscles and made a home in his insides. Yoongi got what he wanted, Jungkook and Jimin broke up without breaking up the group. 

He watched from the living room as Jimin sobbed into Jin's shoulder. Namjoon looked back at him, giving him a tight-lipped nod before closing the door. It… wasn't his fault, but Yoongi was waiting for karma. He should have stayed out of it. He shouldn't have blown up at Taehyung for kissing him, he shouldn't have gone to Jin— he should have kept his fat mouth shut. 

It was his fault and Yoongi wasn't going to step a hair out of line. He needed his relationship with Hoseok to be perfect. If karma was coming for him, he needed it to come for literally anything other than his relationships. He didn't care about anything else.

Yoongi's phone buzzed, a familiar ringtone he had set after the release of Hoseok's first mixtape. 'Wishing on a sky~y, wishing on a scar.' Hoseok had an early morning interview that morning, leaving Yoongi to wake up alone.

He accepted the call and pulled one of his knees up to his chest.

"Hobi…hey."

He closed his eyes waiting to take in Hoseok's normal energetic greeting. He needed him.

The other line cracked and a horse deep tone came out.

" Do you want to play a game! "

Yoongi's jolted.

"Who… is this?"

A thousand thoughts ran through Yoongi's head. Did something happen while Hoseok was out? Did someone steal his phone? Did someone kidnap him? Again ?

"Maybe that's the wrong tone for this hold on." Hoseok's voice came out along with a nervous laugh. "Play a game with me!"

"A game?"

He relaxed into the couch, pulling his second knee up and leaning into the call. 

"Yeah. Come on… play with me?" His tone changed, instead of energetic and playful, his voice deepened, twisting with rasp. "I'll make it worth your while… promise ."

"Mmm… okay."

Yoongi needed Hoseok to be happy, and he would do anything to keep him that way. Hoseok could do anything, call him any stupid nickname— anything. Yoongi needed them to be okay.

"Great! Okay! I'll text you the rules." He giggled and Yoongi's phone buzzed in his hand. "Bye! Love you! Oh! And good luck. Bye~bye."

"Okay? Love you too—" 

The call ended before Yoongi could say goodbye. He dropped his phone from his ear and stared at a new notification from Hoseok. A long one from the ellipsis. He sighed, resigned to his fate as he read the rules to this 'game.'

'Time to play Picture Wear! This is a picture based hide and seek game. I am hiding somewhere in the dorm, and it's up to you to find me. Here's how to win: simple, just find me. If you win I'll give you a worthwhile reward, promise! I'm going to send you a photo of me every three minutes, the photos I send should help you find where I am. But here's the catch, every photo I send, you gotta recreate (the angle, the pose, everything!). If you don't send me back a photo before I send you the next one, you lose! No prize for you andddd well, I guess your poor loving boyfriend will be lost foreverrr'

Yoongi read the last part over again. ' Lost forever,' as in, you'll… break up with me…?

'I trust you to find me! So, let's get started!'

He sent a quick selfie of himself with a mischievous smile and a thumbs-up. He was handsome like that, certain of himself and excited. Yoongi rolled his thumb over the image. It was scary how certain he was that he would do anything for Hoseok. Yoongi turned on his phone's camera and snapped a selfie of him with a mirrored thumbs-up, hitting send before he had even pushed himself off the couch. Hoseok said this was hide-and-seek, that he was somewhere in the dorm, yet Yoongi hadn't heard him come home. It wasn't like he could have missed him either, Yoongi was sitting in the living room for the last few hours. Yoongi looked over Hoseok's photo again. It was shot from his shoulders up, and all there was in the way of a background was a blank white wall. He pushed himself up and walked towards the front door. There wasn't anyone in the driveway, and the manager usually popped in to say hi. Yoongi made a face and walked to the garage door, but Hosoek's car was still where he left it that morning.

Yoongi started typing out an 'are you really home? When did you get home?' However, Hoseok sent him a new photo before he could hit send. The new photo was a closeup of his eye, his face taking up the whole image except a tiny corner. Yoongi zoomed in and closed the garage door. He could absolutely make out where that photo was taken. Yoongi wasn't sure how Hoseok had slipped into the dorm without him seeing, but somehow he made it into their bedroom. He threw open the door and peered behind it to make sure Hoseok wasn't hiding that easily. No such luck. He opened his camera and took the photo of his eye, sending it before he started searching. In the corner of the last image, Yoongi could make out the bedsheets they used. He glanced down at their bed, groaning as he bent over and lifted up the sheets. 

"Hoseok come on—"

But he wasn't down there. Yoongi sat back on his heels and pulled out his phone again as it buzzed. A new photo. Yoongi glared down at a photo of Hoseok attempting a sexy pose. He was lying on the floor, one knee up, one arm behind his head and the other holding his chin. Beneath the picture Hoseok had typed out a reminder of the rules: 'You gotta recreate the pose and everything or else it doesn't count!' Yoongi squinted at the image, looking back up at their bed. Hoseok was cheating. Yoongi rolled his eyes and dialed Hoseok. His call went straight to the voicemail.

'Hey! That's cheating!'

'I thought the photos were supposed to help me find you?' Yoongi sent a photo of their bed. 'You took these ahead of time didn't you?'

Yoongi waited for Hoseok to text back, watching the ellipsis blink at him.

'Oops, caught red handed.' Hoseok sent an embarrassed emoji. 'Can't hide anything from you, can I? Maybe I took some photos ahead of time to make the game last longer… But I am somewhere hiding in the dorm I promise!'

Yoongi sighed and laid down on his side, propping his phone up against the leg of the nightstand as he assumed Hoseok did. He let his phone count down for the photo as he forced his body into the same pose. His lips quirked up into half smile, that was all he could force.

'You still have to send the pose though! Or else you lose!'

Yoongi didn't answer, just sent the photo instead. He wasn't going to lose. He couldn't.

Hoseok sent a few different gifs in response, cartoons with large eyeballs, and some with menacing giggles. 

"Yeah yeah…" Yoongi said to no one as he pushed himself up.

Even if Hoseok had taken the photos beforehand, even if he wasn't even in the dorm, Yoongi would still play his game. He stood, scanning the rest of the room and inside the closet. As he thought, Hoseok wasn't there. Yoongi stepped out of the room and looked at the empty open space of the dorm common area. If Hoseok really was home, there were tons of different places he could hide. In their current dorm, there were six bedrooms, two of which were more for show than actually used. Hoseok could have been hiding in one of them, he also could have been in one of the bathrooms, or hiding in the pantry for all he knew. Or maybe he really was in the garage, which was why Yoongi hadn't seen him come home.

Yoongi squinted and walked to the garage door, opening it just in time to receive the next photo. He flicked on the lights of the garage, staring down blankly at his phone as the content of the photo registered. He had lifted up his shirt, holding it between his teeth with the camera capturing most of his chest. There was a hint of mischief in his eyes, but also something else. A shining hint of desperation behind those dark pupils. Yoongi's feet welded to the floor as a deep shiver rolled up his body. How long had it been? Yoongi had no idea, but his body reacted to the image as if he hadn't seen Hoseok naked in years. He was lost, stuck there, wishing he could teleport through the screen.

'30 second warning, Yoongi.' Hoseok sent an emoji with a tongue out. 'If you don't send your picture soon, you'll lose.'

Lose? Time was flying by faster than Yoongi could think. He yanked up his shirt and took the photo, hitting send in a panic and without looking at the image first. He watched it send, the hem of his shirt still between his teeth. An image of him with drawn in brows and flushed cheeks, looking up at the camera as if begging Hoseok from the other side. He was a mess.

"Uh. What are you doing?"

The shirt fell from Yoongi's lips. He jolted, looking back with frantic eyes. The panic in his eyes met Jimin's puffy red from crying.

"Nothing!" 

He felt his phone buzz with another message. He shoved it in his pocket before Jimin had any chance of seeing. Jimin's sad dissolved into confusion. 

"Are you… blushing?" He took a step closer and Yoongi shoved away. "You totally are!" 

Jimin lit out an airy laugh, one he sounded like he needed. It ended with a sigh.

"A laugh! I heard that!" Jin opened the door of his bedroom and hurried out. "Let's stay positive, yeah?"

"Mm."

"Good." Jin pat Jimin's head and gave Yoongi a weird look. "Joon, let's go."

"I'm coming." Namjoon joined while patting his pockets. "Anyone seen my wallet? I swear I just had it."

"On the nightstand." 

Jin sighed, grabbing his keys from the hook and holding open the garage door for Jimin.

"I checked the nightstand." 

Namjoon lifted a few things off the kitchen table and set them back down.

"Did you check twice?"

"No."

Jin followed Jimin into the garage and Namjoon grumbled as he jogged back into his room.

Yoongi managed to walk his way across the room, setting a hand on the wall next to his bedroom door as he checked another message Hoseok sent. It was another timing warning, the problem was what it sat beneath. Yoongi's knees wobbled. He would have melted to the ground if Namjoon hadn't cheered out about finding his wallet.

"Do you want to come, Yoongi? We're doing drinks and dinner— then probably more drinks."

"No. I'm…good."

"Fair enough." There was a honk from the garage and Namjoon hurried out the door. "Bye!"

Yoongi couldn't take his eyes off his phone. Off Hoseok. A photo of his crotch, pants bulging out and undone. The image was send with the text, 'Oops, I was a bit late, but I ran into an issue after your last photo.' He didn't know the half of it.

Yoongi wrenched open the door and managed to make it to the bed just as his legs gave out. All the blood had rushed so quickly south he was dizzy. Yoongi's phone buzzed again as he unzipped his jeans. His hand shook as he looked down at a new photo of Hoseok. He was on his knees, pants and boxers shoved down so that Yoongi could see how Hoseok gripped his hard leaking cock.

'You lose.'

Yoongi couldn't think anymore.

Hoseok watched, waiting for something, anything. Nerves jumped down his throat. He knew it was too much as soon as he hit send— damnit . He was supposed to drag this on longer, to build up to some desire. At least enough that Yoongi would come to him. Instead, Hoseok was rock hard, shoved into his pants with his shirt pulled down— waiting in the garage. Thank god he had taken all the photos in advance. It was a gamble, but he knew they weren't home alone, and he didn't want any of the others walking in on him like that. Still, explaining away to Jin and Jimin why he was hiding behind Jin's car—and hiding his painful boner—was already too much. He just wanted Yoongi— needed Yoongi.

'Maybe I should give you another chance?' He typed out and sent. It had been five minutes already. He had hoped Yoongi would give up far earlier. Hoseok scrolled back up and looked at the last photo Yoongi sent again. He could have came then, right when the photo filled his screen. Yoongi looked as desperate as he was, but vulnerable too, in a way he hadn't been in so long. Hoseok couldn't see that distant thing behind Yoongi's eyes, just his need. He brushed his thumb along Yoongi's flushed red cheeks and ears. The picture wasn't enough anymore, he needed the real thing.

He started typing again, but Yoongi beat him.

'I can't anymore.' Hoseok's heart didn't have a chance to fall before an image loaded in along with a second text. It was a blurry image, taken without much care or just too quickly. Yoongi's knees, just where the fabric of his pants and boxers had bunched. The fabric was in the way, completely blocking the view of what Yoongi was doing with his hands, although Hoseok made an educated guess based on the second text. 'Hurry up.'

Hoseok jumped up the few stairs to the main level, nearly taking down the door as he bodychecked his way into the main area. He didn't run, he sprinted. He couldn't catch a breath, he could barely see from the way his face scrunched against his own need.

"Yoongi I—"

He threw open the door and tripped over his own feet. He tumbled into the room, just catching himself before he landed on his face. He looked up, a thousand words stuck in his throat as his mouth opened and nothing came out. He wanted say something, to express how thankful he was or something. But Yoongi was there, three fingers buried in his asshole, and a whine broke through his throat.

"... Yoongi ." He managed out, sinking to his knees and crawling closer. It felt so good, even just to watch.

" Fuck ." Yoongi moaned.

Hoseok shook, grasping onto the frame of the bed to help him stand. He yanked off his shirt, then pulled at Yoongi's pants until the legs came loose from his ankles. He could hear his own breath, loud and laboured, asynchronous to Yoongi's. He pulled off both of Yoongi's socks, fingers smoothing up Yoongi's legs. Anyway he could touch him was heaven.

"I need you…" Yoongi said, his face was melted in pleasure already. "Hoseok…"

Hoseok couldn't look away, reaching into the nightstand drawer and scrambling to find a condom without looking. Any second he wasn't taking in this view had to be a crime punishable by execution.

It wasn't fast enough, not for Yoongi. He shoved his way to the edge of the bed and rolled off. Turning so that his hips were pressed into the edge, and his ass was at Hoseok's crotch. He pressed at Hoseok and they both moaned. If it was fast enough then Hoseok would have already been inside. Yoongi tugged at his pants, Hoseok followed him with the same urgency. 

Hoseok didn't have time to think or hesitate, all he could do was shove on the condom and press his dick into Yoongi's tight hole. Tight was an understatement. Yoongi death gripped him, pulsating at the base of his cock. Hoseok's jaw opened as a shaky breath slipped out of his mouth. It was everything to be inside of Yoongi. Absolute pleasure which brushed against a thin line of pain. Was it possible to feel so good it hurt, or was that just from how tight Yoongi was.

"Shit sorry— did that hurt, I should have gone slower." Yoongi trembled beneath him, the tips of his ears and the back of his neck bright red. "Should I pull out?" Hoseok started to pull back, looking down at the ground as he did. He watched a single droplet fall, landing next to a small pile of white on the floor. "Wait… d-did you—"

"Shut up." Yoongi hissed at him, knees still trembling.

"But… doesn't that mean I have to pull out?"

"Don't— just—" Yoongi groaned out a complaint and reached a hand around. Hoseok felt Yoongi's hand pull at his hand, pulling him in closer. "Shut up and hurry up."

Hoseok bucked in, giving a second pump before his confidence wavered. Maybe they didn't always cum at the same time, but it was usually close enough. Hoseok wasn't nearly ready for this to be over yet.

"But I—"

"Hoseok! Fuck me!" Yoongi pressed his ass back further. Hoseok watched his back arch and the material of his shirt slide up.  He wanted it off, he wanted all of Yoongi's bare skin against his own— but not just for a minute or so. He wanted more. He wanted so much more. "Stop fucking thinking and fuck me!"

His hips moved on their own. This felt like it was against the rules, for him to be so far away from climax while Yoongi's jizz dried on the hardwood. Yet, Yoongi yelled at him. For the first time in so long.

"Okay." He grunted, thrusting himself in and out of Yoongi. His palms landed on Yoongi's hips, one strayed upwards lifting the fabric to see more of his skin. "No more thinking. Thank you for letting me fuck you."

He wasn't slow. He couldn't slow if he tried. Yoongi yanked at his ass, forcing his pace— this was what he wanted, what both of them needed. Hoseok groaned out, as heat bellowed in his gut.

Yoongi's stomach churned, his insides stirring as Hoseok plunged in and out of him. His body screamed at him, overstimulation burning. His knuckles twisted against his teeth, a desperate attempt to muffle his cries. He needed more of Hoseok. He needed him deeper, and faster, and harder and longer. Even if he couldn't stand up straight, if his legs gave out— he needed more.

"God." Hoseok ripped away and tugged at Yoongi's hip. "I need to kiss you."

Yoongi was turned over, the mess of his state unveiled. If Hoseok noticed how much of a mess he was, he didn't care. He only dove between Yoongi's legs, lips crashing against his as his hands pulled at Yoongi's thighs. Yoongi wrapped his arms around Hoseok's neck and pulled him in tighter. He could kiss Hoseok forever, as if their lips were made to be pressed against each other. Yoongi's lips widened as Hoseok pressed back in, Hoseok mouthed at his bottom lip, hot air twisted between them, shared breaths dancing in each other's lungs. It felt so much Yoongi was on fire, but he would have killed if it were to stop.

"I'm almost there, just hold on." Hoseok thrusted harder, pushing Yoongi's thighs wider. He wanted to yell at him, don't stop, don't ever stop , but he felt the fire build pressure within the pit of his stomach again. "I'm sorry."

He thrusted faster, more erratic and out of pace.

Yoongi's cries formed words as the pressure threatened to spill over— words which he couldn't control.

"Ahn—fuck, I'm gonna die— I'm gonna die— please, fuck , please please please ."

Hoseok came— but more importantly he stopped short. Yoongi cried out, tears running over his cheeks. He needed to cum, he needed to cum so bad it hurt.

"Yoongi— oh my god— did I hurt you! I'm so—"

Yoongi reached down and grasped at his cock, tugging at it desperately to shove himself over the edge. He wanted more, he wanted so much more. He didn't just want to have sex for hours, he wanted it for years— for forever and to never stop.White blanched behind his eyes as he forced himself into climax. 

Hoseok pulled out and watched, drinking in the sight as if to study. Yoongi came. Again. He didn't even know that was possible. Hoseok's hands held Yoongi's trembling thighs, thumbs massaging into the spasming muscles. Yoongi's head had been thrown back into the mattress, navel pressed up. Hoseok leaned down, dragging his nose up Yoongi's happy trail, drawing a line of kisses up his stomach, then his chest, up his neck and to his lips. 

"I love you." His lips spilled out. "I love you so much."

Hoseok dwelled in that feeling, allowing it to fill up the empty space that his parted anxiety had left. This was safe. This was something that didn't need him to fix anymore. He cuddled into Yoongi and breathed him in, dropping kisses along his face or anywhere he could reach, every few minutes. Hoseok was so unforgivingly in love.

Yoongi watched, sheets tucked around him as Hoseok cleaned. He dropped the used condom into their small bedroom trash, and grabbed some cleaning product to clean the floor. He was quiet, but not in a bad way. Hoseok looked content, and Yoongi was happy to bask in that feeling with him. Hoseok had pulled his pants back up, but left them unbuttoned, Yoongi watched as he kneeled down at their bedside. His eyes narrowed for a moment as he mind caught up to him.

"I just noticed… you're wearing different pants than in the photos." Yoongi kicked Hoseok's pillow off the edge of the bed. "Cheater."

Hoseok laughed.

"Caught red handed again! Oops." He scratched the back of his neck. "I had to, I really wouldn't have been able to go through with the game otherwise. I barely made it as it was!" He giggled and joined Yoongi back on the bed. "Thank you very much for the great photos."

Yoongi groaned.

"Delete them."

Hoseok wrapped around Yoongi, snuggling into him.

"You were so cute."

Yoongi groaned out even louder.

"At least call me hot or something!" Yoongi kicked at him. "Who the fuck calls a nude cute!"

"The pictures were hot. But you were adorable ."

Yoongi kicked at him harder.

"Go fuck yourself."

Hoseok kissed at the sheets Yoongi was covering himself in. It felt so normal and all Hoseok could feel was relief. Whatever had been wrong, that feeling of the fundamental grounds of their relationship shifting, was fixed.

"I have an adorable boyfriend! The world's most adorable boyfriend ever!"

"God you're the fucking worst!"

Chapter Text

Hoseok wasn't just a different person when he was dancing, it was like he became an entirely different entity. His body was fluid with motion. Half of the things he did Yoongi didn't think possible until he was there, watching his boyfriend through the dance mirror doing the impossible. Yoongi's legs trembled, giving out from under him from hours of practice. Hoseok was a dancing tyrant, and Yoongi had been tired and too sore an hour ago.

"I give up." Yoongi dropped to his back, feeling sweat drip into his ears. "Have mercy."

Hoseok didn't speak up until the song he was dancing to ended. 

"Come on, you have five minutes left in you, right? Let's do it from the top perfectly, then we can call it."

"You said that the last two times." Yoongi cried, rolling over to his side into the fetal position. 

One might think that Hoseok went easier on Yoongi because of their relationship, but Yoongi begged to differ. The others could make excuses. Like Namjoon, getting out of the dance practice claiming that Jin had some sort of emergency. Yeah right . They were covering for each other. Even if they weren't, Hoseok didn't know their schedules, he didn't know when they were actually busy or not. On the other hand, Hoseok knew exactly when Yoongi was free. He couldn't get his boyfriend to give him an excuse because Hoseok was his boyfriend. Yoongi would also argue that due to their relationship, Hoseok's eyes would watch him the most in the mirror, and would catch his mistakes more than anyone else's. It was hardly fair.

"But we go on tour next week, we have to have this down."

Hoseok felt crunch time catch his mind. They were going on a worldwide tour, perhaps their largest one yet. He just wanted everything to be perfect, and Yoongi still wasn't getting enough airtime on the Idol jump. Even milliseconds of an imperfection was still an imperfection. He looked down at Yoongi, curled up as a sweaty ball on the ground. He would have preferred to finish up quickly and gone home, but breaks weren't necessarily a bad thing.

Instead of pulling Yoongi to his feet, Hoseok laid down next to him. He used his hands as a pillow and watched Yoongi's laboured breathing from his back. The floor was cold, or he was sweaty enough that it just felt that way. One thing about breaks, as soon as you take one, it's hard to stop one. Yoongi rolled over, nuzzling his temple into Hoseok's bicep. Yoongi being so cute and cuddly was not helping him keep the break short. 

"It's too hot." Yoongi complained as if he wasn't the one who started the cuddle. "And we reek."

"And we should get back to it so that we can get home at a reasonable hour." Yoongi groaned and threw his knee over Hoseok's thigh, tangling his leg between Hoseok's. His arm draped around his waist, fingers twisting the fabric into his fist. " Maybe I'll reconsider if you do aegyo for me." 

Yoongi, although absolutely wrecked, was not tired enough to stoop to those kinds of measures. He needed at least two drinks in his system, then maybe. Alas, he was far from a drink, but still desperate for the torture to end.

"You'd like that wouldn't you? A little too much." 

He reached over and grasped his hand around Hoseok's bulge. Hoseok let out a choked guttural yelp hand grasping at Yoongi's wrist.

"M..maybe"

Yoongi still didn't let go, and Hoseok didn't make him.

Hoseok breathed unevenly, feeling as if the shock realigned his spine. He wanted to— despite how tired he was, Hoseok would never say no to Yoongi for that— but still, it was his job to make sure every member was prepared for the tour. He didn't have to say no, per se, just postpone till later. He was about to open his mouth and propose as much, but Yoongi pulled his hand away, clearing his throat to speak before Hoseok had the chance.

"How many years have we been doing this? You don't need to worry. We can do it, just like we always have."

The years felt like they had been trickling by, and Yoongi wasn't getting any younger. He was sore, his joints were aching, and he was done. Centuries ago, or however long it had been since he was young, Yoongi could have survived Hoseok's grueling dance lessons. He was not that guy anymore. He was twenty-five, practically eligible for a senior citizen pass.

Hoseok watched Yoongi's face twist in thought. He rolled over, pressing his lips to Yoongi's sweaty forehead. A chaste but salty kiss. Yoongi dropped his knee, rolling with Hoseok as he came over Yoongi's body, knees on either side of his hips, arm still under his neck while the other slid beneath Yoongi's ear. He dropped lower, lips ghosting over Yoongi's, closer with every heated breath. The bright lights from the ceiling reflected up in the hardwood, blinding out the world around them. Hoseok could be anywhere, do anything, as long as he could have Yoongi that close forever.

Yoongi pushed his face away. 

"It's too hot to make out." 

It really was too hot, but not in the same way Yoongi meant. Hoseok felt his lip twitch beneath Yoongi's palm. He faltered for only a few moments before he upturned his mouth.

"Maybe you're right…" He licked Yoongi's hand until he pulled it away. "Or maybe, that makes it better."

He lunged in, pressing all of his sweaty weight down on Yoongi's body. He purposefully aimed his armpit to Yoongi's nose and held him there as long as possible, chanting "is that better? Wanna finish up now?" as Yoongi shoved and kicked at him. Finally throwing him off with a sputter of swears and a few coughs.

"God…" Yoongi rolled away, falling back into a fetal position, facing away from Hoseok. "I'm too old for this."

"Come on." Hoseok sat up and kicked at Yoongi's ass. "Only one more run through, I promise. Then we can go shower." He crawled towards Yoongi, dropping an arm over his waist and wiggling his brows when Yoongi glared at him. "Come on come on. A tiny bit more torture, then we can find the perfect temperature to make out to!"

Yoongi groaned and shoved at Hoseok's arm. How long had they been doing this? Since twenty-thirteen. Around six years. Six years. Not just BTS, but that was how long Yoongi and Hoseok had been together. The longest relationship in Yoongi's life by, well, probably five years. Fling after fling, and a long term boyfriend, yet none of them held a candle to what this had become. He was blinded by happiness, at least long enough that he hadn't been consciously counting. In the back of his mind, Yoongi was picturing a sundial going round and round. It was counting down how long someone's first relationship usually lasted. Weeks, months, a couple years— but six? Was he on borrowed time? Was the universe shining down on his little corner of happiness because his last boyfriend had died prematurely? How long could they stand on borrowed time? Anxiety snaked into his chest and coiled around his heart, squeezing as he forced the words out of his throat.

"We've… been together for a lot of years now."

He needed to know he wasn't the only one thinking about it— worried about it. If only he wasn't Hoseok's first.

Hoseok sighed, resigned to the fate of the dance lesson ending short. He laid back down next to Yoongi and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

"Six years." He answered, keeping the knowledge of the exact amount of months and days to himself in case Yoongi might be put off.

"Six years." Yoongi echoed, bringing his knees up tighter to his chest. "That's pretty good for a first relationship."

Hoseok shrugged, not fully understanding Yoongi's tonal shift. Shouldn't that fact be something to celebrate? Yet, Yoongi was drawn in on himself, purposefully looking away. Was he reminiscing? Hoseok really didn't think they were that old. He was a teen at heart and had been campaigning the slogan "young forever" too often to feel the years.

"I'm just saying… that's pretty rare." Yoongi tried to laugh, but it didn't come out sincere, dying in his throat. "Really rare."

"So…?"

Yoongi's chest squeezed tight, pain throbbing in his heart. So eventually you're going to want to leave me to test the waters. That thought shattered through Yoongi's soul. If Hoseok left him now, he wouldn't survive.

"So…" He bit his lip, hard, forcing his voice to stay steady. "Aren't you… getting bored?"

Hoseok felt his face sink at the same rate as his heart. He could hear it fall to the ground as a pen in a too quiet room.

"What? Bored? Why would I be bored?" He shot up, looking over to Yoongi's shoulder to try and catch the face he was making. "Are you bored?"

Yoongi's face was still twisted in thought, yet his eyes screamed a panic his tone didn't match. Had Hoseok guessed right? He was bored. His worst fear realized, like a nightmare made true. 

"You're taking this the wrong way." Yoongi scooted backwards and rubbed his nose on his knuckle. Hoseok couldn't think up a different way to take it. "What I'm trying to say is that… god… I'm…" His face twisted even more. He was upset, or scared, and something else that Hoseok recognized. That far off look, like he was years away. "I'm giving you… a free pass. To… test the waters."

"What?" He couldn't move. He didn't understand. Why now? Why at all?

Yoongi wiped his nose again, then pulled at the hair at the back of his neck. Hoseok didn't know how to breathe properly in that kind of tension.

"Hoseok… I'm giving you a chance to explore, without you having to feel guilty or… other things— I just want you to try other things to make sure that you're sure that… that this is… what you want." Yoongi couldn't stop fidgeting, he also couldn't look Hoseok in the eye. "So… you know, go… date a girl."

" What. "

"And… kiss a girl." Hoseok set his hands on Yoongi's shoulders to get him to stop, but he wouldn't. "And fuck a girl too… just so that you're sure… that you're sure… about me." Hoseok didn't just feel like he had been slapped across the face, he felt like he'd been impaled straight through the heart. By Yoongi's face, they'd been impaled together. "Just… try some things out, then come back to me. That's… pretty reasonable, right?"

"Reasonable…?" Hoseok gripped Yoongi tighter. "Why would I— I won't. I don't need to. I love you. I love you ."

Yoongi reached up and set his hands over Hoseok's squeezing for a moment before pulling them off.

"I want you to be happy."

"I am happy." Hoseok set his eyebrows. "I've been happy for all six years and I'll keep being happy for more."

What had he done to ruin this little pocket of love? Hoseok must have done something. Stumbled into an invisible prompt to make Yoongi question his love. Was it because he was being too hard on Yoongi's dancing?

"Maybe… but maybe with some more… experiences, you would know for sure. Just try? For me?" Not a chance. Not a chance in hell . He didn't need to say it outloud, Yoongi read his eyes. "Even if you don't want it, you still have it. A free pass to do anything, to try out all your options before settling. And if you… don't choose me, in the end… I'll let you go. I just… want you to be happy."

"Yoongi."

"I mean it."

" Yoongi ." If he could express his heartbreak, his resolve, all at once, it was in the emotion he put behind Yoongi's name.

Yoongi clenched his jaw a few times, then stood up.

Maybe bringing up something like that just before the chaos of a world tour was bad timing on Yoongi's part. Filming, jet lag, exhaustion so heavy you feel like you're dying— and never one second to be alone. At the very least, him and Hoseok weren't the only awkward ones. Jungkook and Taehyung were officially together, or at least it sounded that way when Yoongi walked by their bedroom door before they left for the airport. How long had they been together, Yoongi didn't know, or care really. They didn't wake him up at night with sex noises, so they earned a pass in his book. They would hold hands and walk shoulder to shoulder— cute and innocent enough, like how he and Hoseok started out. Yoongi would catch them staring at each other, endlessly, like he and Hoseok would. It was real, tangible, but distracting. Namjoon spent a lot of time forcing them to pay attention during interviews, and to not get too close on stage. Jimin was drinking, a lot, maybe just to make seeing all of that bearable, and Jin spent his time making sure he didn't drink too much.

"You're not going. End of story." 

Yoongi looked back and forth at either ends of the table. Namjoon on one end, who had suggested a little too loudly that he and Jimin should hit up a strip club. Jin, on the other end, who was clutching a glass of wine hard enough for it to crack, or maybe what actually snapped was just his sanity.

"Oh come on, it'll do us some good to unwind. We'll bring the manager and some security."

Yoongi rolled his wine around the large bowl-esque glass and met Hoseok's eyes over the table. A strip club— any type of club, that was a better place than any for Hoseok to use his free pass. Something non-comital, no stakes, and completely exploratory. On the very slim chance Hoseok fell in love, it would be with a stripper and be completely impossible to pursue. Hoseok gets some more experience, sexual, and maybe heartbreak. Then he would come back, everything would be fine, and Yoongi's ceaseless anxiety would cease.

"You just want an excuse to look at someone's tits."

Yoongi looked up from his food, finally brought out of his mind. He had agreed to get dinner with Namjoon, Jin, Jimin and Hoseok— just to give Jungkook and Taehyung some 'alone time.' 

"Psh. No." Namjoon sat back in his chair and draped an arm around Jimin's shoulder. "I'm only thinking about helping out my little bro. I have the purest of intentions, promise."

Yoongi glanced behind Jimin's back and found Namjoon's fingers crossed, as were Jimin's, just beneath the glass table top.

"Boobs definitely have curative properties, hyung." Jimin said earning a look from Jin which was equal parts death glare and scrutinizing concern.

Hoseok forced a chuckle. Surely that was some kind of joke that had gone over his head. How could a chest have curative properties? Hoseok made a face, mind wandering to an image of Yoongi, nude beneath him, the soft skin of his chest at his fingers. Hoseok adjusted his position and crossed a knee under the table. Yoongi's chest couldn't have been curative if it was causing him problems. 

He bit his lip and searched for Yoongi's eyes. He wanted to go back to their hotel room, leave Jin and Namjoon to work out their problem while he and Yoongi worked on something else. He was just about to signal what he wanted to Yoongi when his thoughts were cut off by Yoongi's voice.

"Sounds like a good idea to me." He set down his glass, speaking again and over Seokjin's sputtered disagreement. "Hoseok and I will go too, to make sure no one gets into any trouble."

Hoseok felt his chest squeeze, the same way it had weeks ago in the practice room. Yoongi's face screamed that it was about that nonsense again. ' We're going ' Yoongi's eyes said. 'I don't want to! I don't need a pass and I don't need to look at strippers! ' Hoseok was arguing— screaming with his eyes. He didn't want to go. He didn't even want to think about it. Going at all was one thing, but going with your boyfriend? Seeing Yoongi ogling strippers? He didn't want to see or know or exist on the same world which that happened. 'I'm not going.' Yoongi picked up his glass of wine again, rolling it around before bringing it up to his lips. His tongue caught the edge of the glass before his lips kissed the rim. Hoseok shivered and adjusted himself again. The only pass Hoseok wanted was a pass which got those lips against his own.

"You guys are ridiculous." 

Yoongi watched, almost with a degree of guilt, as Jin shoved himself away from the table. So maybe his plan had the unfortunate side effect of perpetuating another dispute between the resident old married couple, but they were due for another. Any other time, Yoongi wouldn't take the side he did, but what could he say, love made him crazy.

"Thanks for covering!" Namjoon clapped Yoongi's shoulder. "I'll talk to the manager, you guys wait here for a moment."

'We're not going'

'We're going.'

'No we're not.'

'We are.'

Jimin sighed, folding himself over the table.

"Jungkook has great tits…" He sunk deeper into the table. "Where did they go? They ran away straight into Taehyung's mouth." 

'Can we do literally anything else instead?'

'Why are you fighting me on this?'

'Who wouldn't!?'

Hoseok felt a glare burn through his ear. He turned to look at Jimin, who had learned very well how to emulate Seokjin when he was angry enough.

"Do you two really have to? At least be decent enough to not be so cute and coupley right in front of me." He smacked his forehead into the glass. "Being single is the worst."

"Being single is the best!" Jimin screamed, he had a wad of foreign bills in his hand, part of which had been slyly tucked into a blonde girl's g-string. "Let me die here. Please. It would be so nice."

"Not a chance." 

Namjoon grabbed Jimin's shoulder and pulled him back into their shared VIP booth. It was private, or at least as private as a strip club could get. The surrounding tables had been pushed away and two security guards kept most prying eyes away. Not far enough that any of them took off their hats and face masks, but enough that they could relax. Well, sort of. Hoseok was at the edge of the booth, careful not to look at, well, anything. The place was crawling with asses and boobs. The waitresses, the dancers, other patrons, and in signs all over the walls and hanging from the ceiling. Even their table was cut out to look vaguely boob-ish, with two flickering candles meant to be nipples. There was nowhere to look. He couldn't even look at Yoongi, he didn't want to see where he was looking, or what kind of face he was making.

The lights dimmed, laser lights crawling around the floor before striking the main stage with red light. A crowd of men in single seats close to the sage cheered as a silhouette slunk onto stage. She was blinking in the light, chains hanging from her bare breasts and across her shoulders. Twinking lights to catch Hoseok's eyes and force them lower. Like her top, it was sheer, only single lines of chains and a poor excuse of a thong kept her most sensitive parts covered. She was petite, thin, and almost frail looking in the red lights. Her skin was pale, like milk clashing against the gold of the pole she twirled around… and around. It wasn't like the other acts Hoseok had tried to avoid seeing. This act didn't feel vulgar. It didn't make him feel like a pervert to watch. The dangling of chains twisted to her movement, jangling to the song, and catching the lights in an intentional way. Unlike the other dances, it didn't feel like she was selling sex appeal, it felt like she was making art. It was, truly, beautiful.

Yoongi was pushed as deep into the booth as he could sit. A drink was nestled between his palms, rippling to the sultry music. He had spent time looking. Browsing Hoseok's options. What did he even like in a girl? He struck Yoongi as an ass guy, but watching his facial expressions as the different girls would walk by didn't help at all. Hoseok looked at all of them equally mortified and bright red with embarrassment. At the rate they were going, the free pass wasn't going to get used at all. He looked up again, finding Hoseok in a trance, eyes on the main stage. Huh . Not what he expected Hoseok to go for. The dancer was… well, she wasn't as well endowed as the other girls around the bar. She was petite and thin, but she did seem to be one hell of a dancer. Maybe that's what he was attracted to, the dance. Either way, it was something.

"Wow." Namjoon whistled. "I feel bad for whoever's going after her… stunning."

"Absolutely stunning." Jimin agreed. "I think my heart stopped for a second."

Yoongi cleared his throat and leaned into Hoseok's ear.

"Should I buy you lapdance?"

Hoseok jolted, sputtering out as he spun around.

"No! It's not— I wasn't— I don't—" He sank into his hands, dropping his head into Yoongi's shoulder. "Please pretend you didn't see that. And when can we go back to the hotel?"

"You shouldn't be so close." Yoongi leaned in as a waitress walked by. "The girls might think we're gay."

"But we are gay!" Hoseok whined, sinking his face into the table instead.

"Not today you're not." Yoongi kicked his shin under the table and pointed with his chin as the girl from the stage stepped off into the crowd. "Nows your chance."

"Take your dumb pass back, I don't want it! And I don't want a lapdance either!"

"Ooo, don't tempt me with a good time!" Jimin flashed his teeth and stepped out of the booth with his cash still in hand.

Namjoon whistled again. "Best idea you've had all day—"

"Not you." Yoongi grabbed Namjoon by the back of his shirt and forced him back down.

"Oh come on! I've never had one before. It's fine—"

"Don't think I won't call Jin."

Namjoon groaned and joined Hoseok in melting on the tits table.

"So mean."

"So mean!" Hoseok echoed.

Yoongi rolled his eyes. "If you want one so badly, then ask Jin."

"There is no way he'd let me get one. Even if I begged."

"No I meant— ugh whatever." Yoongi grabbed the sleeve of Hoseok's button-up. "Come on, let's go to the bathroom. I'm sure we can find a glory hole for you or something."

He cried out the whole walk to the bathroom, dragging his feet like a toddler having a tantrum.

"Why are you doing this? You don't have to do this— I might actually cry, you're being too mean."

Too mean? Giving him a free hallpass, taking him to a strip club, offering him to get a lapdance— literally trying to get him laid— and he was 'mean' for it.

"Yep. I'm so bad. Just the worst." He dragged Hoseok the rest of the way. "Punish me later or whatever. Now help me find a hole that doesn't look too gay."

If Hoseok could erase that night from his mind forever, he would. Crying into a wall as his soft cock was sucked on by some unseen stranger, while Yoongi leaned next to him on his phone. ON HIS PHONE. Hoseok showered twice that night and still felt like that stranger's cooties on his dick. Why the hell did he do that? Why the hell did Yoongi want him to do that?

"...the absolute worst."

Hoseok flopped into Yoongi's hotel bed and rolled around until the sheets were a mess.

"Who?" Jimin asked, picking out a drink from the minibar. "Yoongi? The man took you to a strip club, how bad can he be."

Hoseok huffed out a breath. He was so beyond embarrassment, beyond shame.

"He's bad. Really bad."

"Oh yeah?" Jimin was humouring him, but even that much was enough. "What'd he do, huh? Step into Dr. Cupid's office and tell him what's wrong."

"I'm so horny I might combust." Jimin plopped down next to him and crossed a knee. He let out a very doctor-esque affirming hum. "And it hasn't even been that long— but the problem is that he wants me to have sex. Just not with him!"

"Huh?" Jimin made a face.

"He wants me to gain more experience from other people." Hoseok put his fingers up in air quotes.

"Wait really? Like really really?"

"And he's treating me like he's my wingman? But he's my boyfriend! My boyfriend whom I love and would like to have exclusive sex with like we've done for the last six fucking years!" Hoseok groaned out and kicked his legs to throw out all of his frustration, but none of it was enough. "And every time he does it, all I get is a 'punish me later or whatever' like it means nothing! Why is he like thissss. What did I do to deserve thissss."

"Man." Jimin dropped down to his back, leaning his head on Hoseok's shoulder. "Never knew Yoongi was such a brat."

"What do I do!" Hoseok cried out, with very real tears leaking from his eyes. "Jimin, I'm dead serious. I need to make it stop."

"Well, I mean, he is literally asking for it. You should totally punish him. Like full BDSM him. If we were home I'd let you borrow some props, but I'm sure you can make do."

"Huh?"

"Oh come on, don't tell me you two have never done anything freaky? I bet Yoongi has a whole list of kinks you could exploit. Try calling him daddy, or master once."

"Why would I… do that?"

"Too much? Hmm how about using your belt to tie him to the headboard, that's pretty vanilla. Although, when I'm being intentionally bratty, being spanked is normally my go to, but I don't think that'll work for you. Try tying him down, and if he's still being naughty then edge him. You can do that, can't you?"

Hoseok was about to ask what that meant before the door beeped and swung open. Hoseok jolted, turning to see Yoongi over his shoulder.

"Good you're here." He tossed a few brochures on the desk and picked a hat out of his suitcase. "We have five hours and a lot of places to try. Let's go."

Hoseok groaned, but started to stand before Jimin stopped him. He bent into his ear before getting up.

"Remember, punish the brat. Tie him up, and don't let him cum."

Jimin picked himself off and skipped towards the door.

"The fuck did you just say?"

"Nothing!"

Yoongi crossed his arms. "Didn't sound like nothing."

"It's fine, have fun!"

He closed the door behind him.

"God whatever. Come on, let's go. Did you put on sunscreen? I'll bring it just in case. Want a hat? It's sunny."

"Uh… yeah." Hoseok sat up, tentatively looking at Yoongi's backside as he bent over the luggage. He looked down at his belt, then at Yoongi again, and gulped. "Can you… actually come here for a second?"

He fiddled with the latch of his belt before pulling it free from the loops of his baggy jeans. If he stood, they would fall, but he was fine with that. 

"Yeah what?" 

Yoongi stepped towards him and set a bucket hat over Hoseok's hair. 

"And… hold your arms out for a second— and close your eyes!"

"Uh… why?"

Hoseok pinched his eyes. He had no idea how to shift them into what he wanted to do. What was he supposed to do, ask? Hey Yoongi, can I punish you now? He was sure this was supposed to be something that he just did. Just, get up and do it. Go. Get up. Hoseok gulped again.

"Be…cause… why not?"

Yoongi looked down at the belt in Hoseok's hand and tilted his head. 

"Oh come on Hobi, you're going to have to come up with something a bit more clever to get out of going out." He bent over and pulled Hoseok's hat over his eyes. "Come on, let's go."

"Uh!" He stood, catching his pants as they began to fall. "But! I just— It's um… well." Come on, come on. Just throw him on the bed. Pick him up and just do it. Go. Come on! "Hold… that, please?"

Hoseok shoved the belt into Yoongi's hands and threw his hat back at his luggage.

"Is there a reason you're so frazzled? And don't say it's because you don't want to go. You're going." Yoongi took a step back and shifted his weight, holding Hoseok's belt in a fist against his waist. "We just need to find someone who definitely doesn't recognize us to kiss you."

"I really! God I really really—" Hoseok reached up to pull at his hair, the split second he let go of his waistband, his jean shorts slipped down to his ankles. "God." He sat back on the bed with his hands over his face. "This is seriously the worst. Worse than the worst. The worstest." 

He groaned even louder. Why the hell couldn't he make himself just do things. When it came to Yoongi he was such a ridiculous mess.

"I'm… not taking you out without pants on."

That was it. Hoseok seriously had enough with this free pass business. He didn't want to kiss anyone else, fuck anyone else, do anything with anyone else— he wanted Yoongi, needed Yoongi.

"No." Hoseok put down his foot. "We're not going. And I'm 'giving' the pass back." Yoongi tried to say something but Hoseok interrupted. "That's it. I'm not hearing anything else about it. Not a single word."

"You know it's for—"

"Uhp. Nope. Not another word about it." Hoseok got up, grabbing at his belt and stepping into Yoongi. He stepped them all the way to the wall before Yoongi gave up the belt and his breath into Hoseok's lungs. It was hot, intoxicatingly hot. Hoseok breathing him in, noses inches away, mouths yearning for each other. He didn't need anyone else, just Yoongi. "Now stop being a brat and let me punish you."

Yoongi shivered through his entire body. The hair on his arms and the back of his neck rose as his mind filled with a rolling fog. Clouds to cover all thoughts which weren't Hoseok and whatever he was demanding.

"H…Hoseo—"

Hoseok pressed in like he couldn't handle another second of being detached. He pressed the back of Yoongi's head into the wall, twisting to the side to kiss deeper. Yoongi wanted him closer, impossibly and selfishly closer, but Hoseok left enough space between them to loop the belt around his wrists. Hoseok pulled away, dragging Yoongi closer by the belt. He kissed harder, more aggressive, and Yoongi was lost.

Hoseok sat back on the bed, pushing at Yoongi to keep him from following and straddling his lap. His eyes were dark, maybe as dark as Yoongi's. 

"I'm going to spank you now… so bend over my lap."

Yoongi froze, those words breaking through him. He shivered again and a breath whistled a moan through his throat. His body moved before he could think, knees wobbling as he stepped and bent across Hoseok's lap. A hand cupped his ass cheek, then smoothed over the material of his shorts.

"You can… pull them down." Yoongi bit down hard on his lip. What was he even saying? 

Hoseok rubbed over the fabric more, cupping again at one of his ass cheeks, that time firmer.

"No they're going to… uh… stay on." The momentum of his confidence faltered for a moment before he picked it back up again. "For now."

"Mmm..mhm." 

Yoongi tried to hum in agreement, but it mostly came out as a moan. He was a mess. What was he even doing, trying to make Hoseok hate him? He didn't want Hoseok to leave him, or fuck some stripper, or kiss anyone else. He just wanted security. To know that Hoseok wouldn't break up with him, despite the statistics. Yoongi wanted Hoseok to love him forever.

He was waiting, knees twisting together in anticipation of the first strike. He had been a bit of a brat, and maybe he wanted this a little more than he thought. Less so the pain over the excitement of seeing Hoseok be more assertive. He could have demanded that Yoongi cum right then and there and he probably could. Yet, that wasn't what Hoseok said. There was nothing. Yoongi kept anticipating nothing.

"Uh… Hoseok?" Yoongi looked over his shoulder and found Hoseok's face twisted in uncertainty. "You can… start, you know?"

"M..mhm." Hoseok nodded, cheeks an even brighter shade of red and he brought his hand up. Yoongi watched, but it stayed there, hovering in the air as Hoseok began to glow even brighter. "Yoongi… we might have to do a different punishment… I just realized how close spanking is to hiting… and I really don't want to…"

Yeah… Yoongi should have seen that coming from miles away. Something was bound to go wrong soon.

"Okay." He took a deep grounding breath before sliding off of Hoseok's lap. He could salvage this, despite finding himself a small bit—a large bit—considerned with his readiness to be punished. "Okay… how about, this." He slid his wrists out of the belt and pulled of his shirt before sticking his arms back in the loose loops. "You could probably get this looped around this headboard if you tried hard enough. Although it might be easier if we use fabric… got a tie? Or I could just pretend I guess."

"Nono… I have a tie. It's supposed to be a real punishment." Hoseok scurried over to his luggage and pulled out two ties. "You were very bad. Black or red?"

"Mm. But you like that black one and I bought you the red one for your birthday. Look in my luggage, I'm sure I brought one I don't care about."

"Why does that matter?" 

Hoseok squatted next to Yoongi's suitcases as Yoongi tried to figure out a way to tie himself up 'well enough' to make it seem like a real punishment. 

"It might get… a bit ruined , is all." He looped the rope around a small decal in the bed frame, looping the end back through the buckle and pulling taut. "Oh, no need anymore. I've got it. But while you're there, there's lube and condoms in the side zipper."

The belt wasn't tight enough that he couldn't slip if he pulled hard, but it was tight enough that he suddenly realized what it meant. They were going to have sex, and he wouldn't be able to hide any of his gross expressions. They were going to have sex and he let Hoseok tie his hands before he was prepped.

The mattress dipped behind him, and shivers broke through Yoongi's spine. He felt Hoseok's voice in the back of his skull before it reverberated through his entire body.

"You seriously…" He chuckled darkly, fingers rolling over Yoongi's sides, around his hips, up his chest. Hoseok clutched onto him, fingers grasping at his flesh, forcing them flush together. The only thing in the way was the clothing they were wearing. Too thick, not close enough, but thin enough that Yoongi could feel Hoseok's hardened cock grind against his ass. "...have been so bad."

Yoongi hummed out a whine, feeling his ears burn red. His eyes burned through the wall. Yoongi was only glad there wasn't a mirror or a window behind the headboard, that way neither of them had to see what kind of face he was making.

Hoseok pulled his hips away, his hands rolling over Yoongi's hips and settling at his ass cheeks. He groped, pulling at Yoongi's flesh and squeezing until he was practically drooling down the back of Yoongi's neck.

"I'm…" Hoseok cleared his throat, forcing his hushed voice to come out stronger. "I'm yours." He dropped his chin into the crevice of Yoongi's neck and wrapped his arms around Yoongi's stomach. "I'm yours… and you're mine… Right?"

"Yeah…" Yoongi's voice wavered as Hoseok pulled at the string bow holding up his shorts. He needed to be undone. "You're mine." Hoseok pulled the bow free, thumb tucking into the waistband. "And fuck I'm all yours."

Undo me… please.

Hoseok ripped at the fabric, forcing Yoongi's shorts and boxers to his knees. Yoongi bristled, feeling his hand come against his bare ass cheek and another dribbled cold lube down his ass crack. He leaned forwards, forearms dropped against the wood of the headboard as Hoseok pressed a hand between Yoongi's inner thighs to get him to spread wider. He did, a single step with his knee, and Hoseok's hand slid up his thigh, into the drooling line of lube before a single finger pressed into his ass. Yoongi groaned and dropped his mouth against his arm. He was all open mouth and teeth, hot air and moans as Hoseok fingered into him. As Hoseok kissed his neck and his shoulder, Yoongi decided that he wouldn't think too hard about the fact that this was Hoseok's first relationship anymore. His mind twisted, instead, it could be his only relationship. It wasn't a conscious epiphany, but an epiphany none the less, one that made him moan, and loud.

"God… I seriously can't hold back anymore."

Hoseok pulled away and shifted behind Yoongi again. His fingers pulled at his ass cheeks, spreading them just wide enough that his cock could spill through his rim. Yoongi straightened, mouth opening wider as Hoseok groaned into his neck. He tried to reach back, to pull Hoseok in deeper, but the belt pulled at him, forcing him to keep his hands to himself.

"I love you…" Hoseok babbled into his skin between kisses. "I love you so much."

Yoongi bit down hard on his lip again, and pressed his ass back. It was the only way he would be able to get Hoseok deeper. Hoseok followed him, hips lowering as if he was running away. Yoongi wined, pulling at the belt as far as he could to reach. He sat back fully, all his weight in Hoseok's lap, while leaning far forwards, still attached to the headboard. Yoongi was arched, heavy breathing, head hanging between his bound arms— with Hoseok's cock stuffed deep inside.

"God… turn around… I need to see you."

Yoongi breathed a broken airy breath and trembled. He was so lost. So incredibly lost. His legs shook, arms shook, belt dragging against the wood of the headboard as he dropped a hip. Whatever shame he had left was gone. Yoongi rolled to his back, looking at Hoseok with all his melted need, and hooked a leg around his back.

"Go on then…" He whispered, tightening his leg. "This is a punishment isn't it? Give me your worst."

Hoseok blinked. Heat rose around them like the room had become a sauna. He tried to breathe but the air was too thick, he tried to speak but he could only moan. There was nothing he could do, nothing except bury himself so deep in Yoongi that they were both screaming. He was chasing something, pounding into Yoongi's ass as if this was the only way to prove his resolve. No one else, not a single person on the planet, could he love as deeply. Hoseok wanted to etch himself permanently into Yoongi's being. He wanted undeniable proof of his love that Yoongi couldn't ignore. He kissed hard into Yoongi's shoulder before biting down.

Yoongi was a mess, an undone mess that was about to completely undo himself. It wasn't his fault that Hoseok was pounding into his prostate faster and harder than he ever had before. He moaned out a warning, surprised that he still had enough sense to do as much.

"Not yet." 

Hoseok sat up and thrusted into him harder. 

"Ahn— No I can…an..n't— fuck— ahmmmhgm" Yoongi yanked at the belt and screwed his eyes shut. "I can't— I—"

"Wait for me." Hoseok begged, fingers digging into his hips. "A little longer."

Yoongi yanked ever harder at the belt. Red hot heat built in his gut, boiling and rolling just as deep as Hoseok's thrusts. He held his breath, tensed his abs, and prayed behind his squeals of pleasure.

"God… ah..god." Hoseok was at his wits end. His voice cracked despite himself, jumping up an octave as he continued to babble. He whimpered, breath burning in his throat as his body ached for climax. His voice crackled again, dropping into rasp as he teetered on the edge. "Okay… now you can cum" He reached forwards for Yoongi's cock. "Cum with me."

Yoongi arched as far as he could, toes clutched harder than his eyes as he attempted not to pass away from the intense pleasure. His orgasm wrecked through him, in waves of jolts which rocked his entire body against Hoseok's as they rode out their climaxes together.

"Oh… my god…" Hoseok gasped, rocking into Yoongi a final time, his hips bucking as he attempted to pull out. " Oh my god ."

Yoongi tried to force open his eyes, or untangle his legs from Hoseok's back, but he was stuck. It was too good, way too good.

" Fucking… hell. " 

Hoseok dropped down, barely able to hold his own weight anymore. He kissed Yoongi's chest, just above his heart.

"I love you." He said, then kissed higher until their lips met again. "I love you so much."

Hoseok, completely exhausted, was barely able to react as the door beeped and swung open.

"Sorry Hyung, I think I grabbed your card by—" Jimin froze, all of them did. Yoongi felt panic burst through his spent mind. "By… accident… Oh my god— Oh my god! "

"Jimin!" Hoseok groaned and searched for a blanket to throw over them. Too bad they decided to fuck on top of the made, very well made, bed. Instead Hoseok grabbed one of the pillows and threw it at him before pulling up his boxers. "Stop looking! And giggling! And get out!"

Yoongi yanked at the belt, trying to get free to pull up his shorts and boxers as well, but it was useless. What he had left loose enough to pull free before had been long tightened by his thrashing. 

"I'm sorry I'm sorry!" Hoseok chased Jimin with the pillow after slamming the door closed. "I just can't believe you did it already! I was only gone for ten minutes!" 

Jimin squawked as Hoseok got him with the pillow square across his head. 

"Sh..shut up!" 

Hoseok mercilessly attacked while Yoongi continued yanking at the belt. He was literally caught red handed, pants around his ankle.  He wanted to scream, to swear, but instead he just did his best to sit up in a way that most of his junk was concealed from view.

"Oh come on, don't be embarrassed, it's me." Hoseok groaned out again and hit him a final time before sinking into the floor with defeat. "Actually, I feel like I should give you some props." Jimin patted his back. "You know, this whole time I had no idea you topped."

Jimin sat up, just to look at Yoongi who was still very much restrained. If looks could kill. Jimin fell back into another fit of giggles.

"Oh my god I'm dying— I can't believe it!" He suddenly kicked himself up and skipped towards the side of the bed. "You have to let me take a photo—"

"Jimin." Yoongi was so angry he struggled to get proper words out. "You wanna die?"

"Oh my god wait, this is actually the best day of my life." Jimin sat back on the second bed and bounced a few times with more giggles. "Do you even know how to moan? Man I really can't imagine it— or maybe just a little, but I really didn't expect it at all. Oh damn it! Now I owe Tae— tell me you guys switch, I don't wanna owe him anything right now."

"Get out." 

"Aw come on, not even once?"

"Jimin." Yoongi was practically hissing. "Out."

Jimin blew out a raspberry.

"You're no fun." He reached for the keycard on the nightstand and switched it with the one in his hand. "Fine fine, but we have shit to talk about later, Hobi-hyung."

Jimin stepped over Hoseok and left them. Hoseok with his conflicting shame, and Yoongi with his arms dead asleep from being held up for so long. 

Jimin needed to die. That was the only option. He had seen too much, knew too much, and he wasn't the kind of person to keep information like that too himself. Yoongi was going to kill him… just… when his legs stopped trembling.

It took him a lot longer than he expected to find steadiness in his legs. Jimin was right, it wasn't particularly long, but that didn't mean it was any less a lot . Yoongi scratched his shoulder, peering down at the arm Hoseok had wrapped around his waist. He wasn't snoring, but his deep breaths made Yoongi fairly sure he was asleep enough to have plausible deniability. Yoongi slid his legs up, untangling them from Hoseok's. Getting out of the bed was never made easy by Hoseok's cuddling habits. Yoongi strained, pushing himself upright despite the deadweight holding him down. He looked one more time at Hoseok, sleeping peacefully, with a small wet spot of droll on his pillow. Even if he tried, Yoongi was sure that he wouldn't be able to let Hoseok go. His insides were still buzzing.

Yoongi started to slide out of the hotel bed when the arm around his waist tightened. He stopped, sitting back as Hoseok groaned at him.

"It's alright…" Yoongi ruffled his hair. "I'll be right back."

"Mm-mm."

"Mhm."

Yoongi let his hand stray, tracing up Hoseok's arm, to his hand, letting his fingers settle between Hoseok's. Hoseok pulled at him even tighter, letting out a childish whine.  Fine… Jimin can live to see another day. Yoongi laid back, shuffling with Hoseok until they were spooning. He kept Hoseok's hand intertwined with his, holding their hands close to his chest. It was absolutely perfect… well, mostly. Hoseok was there, his body heat pressed against Yoongi in the best way. Yoongi was there, warming his cold feet on Hoseok's shins. The only problem was Hoseok happened to be sporting a semi hard on, and Yoongi was still tingling. He separated his hand from Hoseok's, tongue slipping over his lips as he let his hand stray again. That time, behind his back, down Hoseok's stomach, and his bottoms. His hand smoothed over his cock, then around, he held him first, for just a moment. Hoseok let out another groggy groan, nuzzling his nose deeper into the back of Yoongi's neck. He pumped slowly, with a loose grip, not enough to startle Hoseok awake, but enough to rouse him.

"...Yoongi…" His groan rattled through Yoongi, sending all of his nerves alight.

"Mh?"

He was acting coy, humming as if he wasn't stroking Hoseok's cock, pressing the tip of it purposefully against his ass.

Hoseok moaned, his hand came down stopping short at Yoongi's hip instead of stopping him.

"What are you doing?" His voice came out too steady for Yoongi's liking, so he sped up. Hoseok's jaw opened, hot air forced out of his throat and into Yoongi's ear. "...Mmmn…mm. God — you really want to go again?" Yoongi reached up and scooped saliva out of his mouth. When he reached back down again, Hoseok moaned louder. That time Hoseok did grab his wrist. "You're… sure?"

Yoongi pulled away, instead pulling his boxers over the roundness of his ass, he pressed two fingers into himself. 

"M..mmmh." He hummed out a moan in response. With his free hand, Yoongi held onto Hoseok's arm, the one beneath his neck, and smoothed his thumb over his soft skin.

"Yoongi?"He reached back again, tugging down at the fabric of Hoseok's bottoms and pressing his ass back. "You… god, you really…" Hoseok let out a shuttered breath as Yoongi lined him up with his hole. "... Fuck. "

Hoseok pressed in, sinking his hips against Yoongi's ass. It was slow, but deep enough that it itched the tingling. Yoongi bit down on a moan, manually pulling Hoseok's hand onto his hip and he continued to thumb over Hoseok's arm.

He needed closeness. He needed this— he needed more . Hoseok rolled over him, finding a better angle. His hand found Yoongi's fisted into the sheets. He brought his hand over Yoongi's, twisting his fingers between his, and holding himself there. Hand in hand, and plunging deep enough into Yoongi to make fog crawl over his mind. He didn't care what noises he made, he didn't even care if any passerby could hear. 

"God, come here."

Hoseok pulled at Yoongi's cheek, twisting him just enough that he could kiss the side of his mouth. Yoongi twisted further, adjusting himself so that he could yank at Hoseok's hair, to make him kiss deeper— make love to him deeper. He needed everything Hoseok had and more— all of it deeper.

Hoseok tried to pull away, but Yoongi forced him into another kiss.

"You're seriously asking for it!" Hoseok groaned and pulled Yoongi's hip against him. He held Yoongi there for a moment, leaning down into his ear. "Are you being bad on purpose… just so that I'll punish you again?"

Maybe. Or maybe I just want to marry you.

"...Mmm." 

Yoongi tugged at Hoseok's hair again, not enough to hurt, just enough to get him to crane his neck. Yoongi licked his lips and leaned up, but Hoseok pulled himself out of reach.

"If this is a punishment… then don't get ahead of yourself." Hoseok chuckled and dropped his head. "Let me show you what happens when you wake me up in the middle of the night before a long flight."

Hoseok was loving every second of this. It was so easy and fun. A well deserved pallet cleanser off the back of their more recent arguments. Although he was a little too ashamed to admit he was too sore from the previous round to go as rough again. Instead, he kissed Yoongi's chest again, but instead of lingering there, he let his kisses stray. He grinded into Yoongi and let his tongue swirl around Yoongi's nipple. For a moment, just a moment, he was worried that Yoongi wouldn't like it. Hell, he didn't even know if he would like it, but as soon as Hoseok sucked Yoongi's nipple into his mouth, Yoongi's hole fluttered around him. Hoseok grinded into him more, shifting his hips just enough for friction. Yoongi whined at him, fingers tangling into Hoseok's loose waves. It was everything to hear Yoongi unwind for him, second only to the tingling feeling he got in his chest when they kissed or Yoongi mumbled an "I love you." Hoseok brought a hand up to Yoongi's chest and grazed his knuckles against his free nipple, then again, until it hardened for him. Yoongi shivered, catching Hoseok's wrist as he twisted and pulled at one while kissing, licking and sucking on the other. 

"Wait…wait wait… Hoseok—" Yoongi tightened around him when Hoseok pinched just a little tighter, sucked just a little harder.  "Wait I'm—"

"You can cum." Hoseok mused, only letting his nipple go to say as much. "I'm not wearing a condom, so I was going to finish on your pretty chest anyway."

Like a rock through a window, that was far more than enough to break whatever fragile sanity Yoongi had left. He jolted, hard, white plastering across his vision as he came.

Hoseok drank up every second. He wanted to watch, to witness every moment as Yoongi completely unwound. There was something about seeing such a normally stoic guy melt beneath you, screaming your name. Hoseok couldn't place the satisfaction, but felt it nonetheless, like it was some sort of accomplishment. He kissed Yoongi's cheek, then his mouth as he pulled out. Hoseok moved out from under Yoongi, instead straddling his chest and holding his cock just above the nipple he had sucked red. Yoongi glared at him for a moment, but the broken breath told Hoseok everything he needed to know. He liked every second just as much as he did.

"You just going to stare?" Yoongi's rising and sinking chest pressed at Hoseok. Everything was said with a the strain of exhaustion. Neither of them knew or cared what time it was. "Put your money where your mouth is… or I guess… put your jizz where your mouth was."

"Don't… don't say that." 

Hoseok cringed but began to chase his own high regardless. He stroked fast and hard, to get it over with. It had probably been an hour or two since the last time, but he couldn't even sense his climax.

Yoongi sighed, and licked his lips.

"Can't be helped I guess." 

He parted his glistening lips and used his hands to nudge Hoseok closer.

"Yoongi… I…"

"Just… come here." Yoongi wrapped his hand over Hoseok's, guiding his hand over his cock. Slow, but tight. "It… can't be helped."

"Mm…" Hoseok shifted higher and let out a shaken breath as Yoongi pressed forward with his tongue first, just to lick the slit. "Can't…" Yoongi opened his mouth wider and let out a puff of hot air. Hoseok's hips bucked and let out a shuttered moan. "Can't… oh god… can't be helped."

Hoseok couldn't see, or breath, or think. It was mind-numbing pleasure. Yoongi tongued his veins and sucked him in— he was a goner and Yoongi didn't stop until there was saliva dripping down his neck and jizz spattered over the right side of his chest.

"That…was…" Hoseok nearly passed out when he tried to stand, instead he dropped down on his side of the bed. " Wow ."

Hoseok's greatest fantasy was realized, a blowjob from Yoongi, and it was better than he could ever imagine.

Yoongi's question was answered, apparently Hoseok was a chest guy, which in hindsight, made sense.

"I love you… but if I wake up to you groping me again in an hour, I might not be able to make the walk to the lobby tomorrow morning."

"Mm." Yoongi wiped his chin. "Sounds like a challenge."

"I promise you it's not."

Hoseok couldn't emphasize that enough.

"Fine…" Yoongi sat up and pushed himself off the bed. How steady he was able to walk was like a direct hit to Hoseok's pride. Yoongi walked towards the bathroom, but stopped part way. "We should shower."

"Yeah…" Hoseok groaned, face down in his pillow. He wasn't confident he could get his legs to move. "You can go first."

"I could." Yoongi raked his hair back, staring down at Hoseok under the tip of his nose. "Or you could join me."

There was nothing Hoseok wanted to do more than have a cute joint shower with the love of his life.

"C…coming." He tried to make his voice sound as excited as he was.

"Okay…" Yoongi said. "I'll let you know when the water's hot."

Yoongi didn't wait long before jumping into the glass shower. It was cold, but he had to scrape cum out of places in ways he preferred Hoseok didn't see. Once he was clean enough, and the water was well hot, he pressed his forehead into the wall instead of calling for Hoseok. Why was he being like this? It really wasn't like him. Yet, there he was, half hard, rearing for round three. He was usually a one and done kind of guy, or, well, a one and 'if you touch me again you're dead' kind of guy. Usually he was so sensitive it was almost painful, but there he was, still horny, and still wanting Hoseok. He turned the water colder and tried to straighten his mind.

"Hoseok." He called out. "It's hot. Are you coming?"

There was no response, instead there was only the noise of the door opening. Yoongi watched, water freefalling down his body, as Hoseok stumbled in, completely nude. 

"I'm… here."

He coughed to clear his throat, and stepped towards the door. Before he could ask, Yoongi pushed it open for him.

"Get in here." Yoongi squirted some body wash in his hand and rubbed circles into Hoseok's shoulders and arms, then over his chest. Hoseok leaned in and dropped his face into Yoongi's shoulder. "Tired?"

"Mhm…"

Yoongi couldn't help the small giggle which left his throat. Hoseok was cute like that, so tired his eyes were squinted closed and he could barely stand up. 

"What time is it?"

"...Donno."

What was he supposed to talk about? Or was it too late to talk, Hoseok did seem tired.

"Is the water hot enough?"

"M..hm."

Well, with Hoseok barely lucid and most likely without the ability for memory, Yoongi couldn't think of a better time to say it out loud.

"Hey Hoseok."

"Mmmmhm."

"I'll take it back… the pass I mean. But… if you ever leave me… I really will kill you."

Yoongi's body froze as Hoseok lifted his head. Of course lucidity had to come back at him right then and there.

"Mmm…" With eyes squinted open, Hoseok kissed Yoongi's forehead. He breathed in, and pulled back with eyes finally open. "Good. But I would only leave you if I was dead anyways."

Yoongi really wasn't sure why he was like that, but those words filled his insides with buzzing energy. He bit down on his lip.

"My… legs are tired." He said. Hoseok tilted his head. "We should lay down."

"Uh… we? Okay?"

"Yeah." The fog crawled back into Yoongi's mind. "Lay down."