Archive of Our Own ^beta

TV, you know it, I know it, pretty much everyone has one in their house. We love watching it don’t we? And in Multiverse Cluster IC humans were just as obsessed with it as we are. Whether on a television set or looking at a phone or tablet, pretty much every Earth had a majority of people looking at a screen. 

That’s why it came as a shock that simultaneously all (nonessential) screens were hacked. In every earth in the Multiverse, whether regular TV, a few handheld devices or even Jumbotrons they showed static.

Any thoughts of fixing this problem suddenly went away. That grey fellow in the suit from a few days earlier sounded very…convincing.

“Hello! Hello, can you see me?” A voice spoke out through the static. “Hold on, let me clear the image.” The image cleared and a grey robot with a rubber uncanny valley face appeared.

“Yes, success! My name is Digit, only truly dedicated fans might remember me. Apologies for jamming your signal but the message we have to show you is-“ he sparked, {VITAL TO ALL D PEOPLES OF UNIVSESXES-ES-ES-ES} Digit turned a nob on his chest. “Sorry I didn’t mean to sound like an AI who gives loveable sentient robots like me a bad name.”

Digit pushed a few buttons on a remote. “What we have to show you is important to you all. Don’t worry, your regular scheduled programming will resume after our message.” The screen then changed.

It was a peace that had so long eluded him.

He looked at the planet before him. The quiet fields. The sun shining. The wind and birds about. It was just what he’d fought for. A universe at present balance, as it should be. For the first in his life…he was content. 

“Mee meep. Meep meep meep mee meep.”

Dr. Thanosdew spun around, spilling the bowl of boiling hot soup (that he totally had in the original story) all over the intruder.

“GAHHHH!” The tube-like man in a red suit screamed in pain as his partner, who had a cheap looking purple chin prosthetic, berated him. “Beaker! You startled me!”

As Beaker recovered, an orange gofor subtlety got Thanosdew’s attention. “Psst, Bunsen. You’re supposed to be in character.”

“Oh-I meant,” Thanosdew deepened his voice, “Meepfisto! To what do I owe, um *checks script* this visit?”

“Meeep meep meep! Meep meep me meep!” Meepfisto raised his arms and summoned an intimidating wall of flame! “MEEP MEEP MEEEEEEEEEEEP!”

“Yes, I see now!” Thanos got out his oversized robotic Infinity Gauntlet and attempted to clench his fist. “My work is far FROM OVER!” He pulled a cord, but nothing happened. “Um, FROM OVER!” He pulled it again, still nothing.

“Oh, Beaker, what have you done to this thing?” Bunsen fiddled with his invention while Beaker got close to see what was wrong. *WRRRRRRRRR* The machine suddenly turned on, flying off Thanosdew’s hand and punching Meepfisto in the stomach.

The impact knocked Meepfisto into the flame, in reality very impressive pyrotechnics, setting him on fire. The flaming screaming Meepfisto rolled around to stop the flames only to spread the fire further. Dr. Thanosdew only looked down at the gauntlet. “Perhaps I treated the Gauntlet Replitpcator too harshly.” *screen turns off*

Earth-924

Mansion

“And that’s how it all started….more or less.” Sitting on top of a stool was a green frog dressed in a black tuxedo. “Hi-Ho Kermit the Frog here and I’d like to take you on a journey down memory lane.”

Kermit jumped off the stool and walked through a fancy hallway. “Things have been different around here haven’t they? Walls are breaking down, superheroes are more common, people's entire lives have changed and as for us, well, we got ourselves a whole slew of new guest stars.”

Kermit stopped by a curtain and pulled it back, revealing framed pictures of various people under the plaque “Very Special Multiversal Gueststars.” Included but not limited to: Barry Allen of Earth-1, Cliffjumper, The Harley Quinns, Peter Parker of Earth-19999, Jem and the Holograms, the Fantastic Four, Jimmy Olsen, The Sisters of the Multiverse, The Guild of Detection, The Unseen Trio, Jareth the Goblin King, The Nelvana Doctor and his companions, the crew of the Flying Dutchman, Steve, Mr Game and Watch, A Pighead, Deep Cut, a tied up and gagged Deathstroke, Gwenpool, Danny Phantom, Sun Wukong, Markiplier, Charlie Morningstar and Vaggie, Captain Underpants, ALU Shoeperstar, Bugs Bunny, some weird griffin person, Wander and Sylvia, Silk, Starfire, Marceline the Vampire Queen, a basket of Hostess Fruit Pies, you, you, you, your variant, your first pet, your family, your first date, your worst enemy, Mark Gatiss, a lizard variant of Emma Stone, I should just stop here, the contents of the wall will take up the rest of the story.

He left the wall behind and continued walking. “Yep, we’ve never been busier, people all across the world want to meet us. But you know I think it’s important to step back and look at what came before, remember all the good times we had together, and besides,” Kermit stopped and looked down for a moment, almost sadly. “It’s … weird out there right now. Things are hard ya know, a lot of good folks are mad and confused and not just because of what’s happening on other Earths and it’s probably gonna get harder. I think we can use a break from… everything. It’s important to keep laughing and smiling, even when times are tough we must not lose our joy and fun.”

Kermit began to climb up a ladder. “So for today we hope that, at least for a little while, we can forget about all our troubles and remember how to have a good time,” a drumroll began to play as Kermit got on a platform, “sit back and relax as the Muppets proudly present,”

Kermit popped his head out of a cardboard O in a logo set against a red curtain.

“The Greatest Moments in Infinity Crisis featuring our friends from Sesame Street and Fraggle Rock! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”

The music played and the stars came out.

“It’s time to play the music! It's time to light the lights! It’s to meet The Muppets in The Muppet Show tonight!”

“It’s time to put on makeup! It’s time to dress up right! It’s time to raise the curtains on The Muppet Show Tonight!”

From a balcony two old men added their own verses.

“Why did we choose to come here?”

“I guess we’ll never know!”

“It’s like a kind of torture!”

“To have to watch the show!”

Back on the stage Kermit was laying under one of the arches and continued to sing.

“To introduce our guest stars, that's what it’s time to do! It really makes me happy to introduce to you…”

Kermit stopped singing and gestured to the left.

“Ladies and gentleman, our friends from Sesame Street!”

Emerging into view was a whole new cast of Muppets, singing a new song the band began to play.

“Sunny days sweeping the clouds away! On our way to where the air is sweet! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street? How to get to Sesame Street?”

Kermit then gestured to the right.

“And our friends from Fraggle Rock!”

Popping out of a hole in the wall were several colorful and playful creatures, singing their own song.

“Dance your cares away!” *clap* clap* “Worry’s for another day! Let the music play! *clap* *clap* Down at Fraggle Rock! Down at Fraggle Rock!”

“Down at Fraggle Rock.”

The music shifted back to The Muppet Show theme as all three groups joined together in song.

Elmo: “But now let’s get things started!”

Gobo: “Why don’t we get things started?!”

Kermit: “It’s time to get things started!”

All: On the most multitational! Educational! Rockatational! Mupptational! This! Is! What! We! Call! The! Muppet! Shoooooooooow!”

As the song concluded The Muppet Show logo came back down with Gonzo in the O, ready to play his bugle.

*TOOOOOO-Ack! *pit-tooie* *pit-tooie*

The bugle turned into dust in Gonzo’s hands and mouth, much to his frustration. 

“Aw, I wanted to do that!”

“Thank you! Thank you!” Kermit was back on the ground, bowing. He resumed his walk. “It’s a funny multiverse we live in, isn't it? All those worlds go on forever and no one can truly know how many there truly are. But that won’t stop some people from trying.”

Kermit opened a door, revealing a purple figure in a cape sitting in front of a computer scrolling through Earth to Earth. “163762873920172938364720264920182947560583610284659502639836, 163762873920172938364720264920182947560583610284659502639837, 163762873920172938364720264920182947560583610284659502639838, Oh just how high does this go?!”

“Hey Count, are you done yet?”

“I am not even halfway yet haha. I may never finish.” The Count von Count turned around all giddy like. “There are so many words to cover, so many numbers to get through.”

“You know you can always take a break if you want to.” Kermit attempted to reassure.

“Are you kidding?!” The Count shook his head. “I have never had so much fun! AH AH AH AH!”

*KRA-KOOM*

The Count resumed his counting. “163762873920172938364720264920182947560583610284659502639838, 163762873920172938364720264920182947560583610284659502639840, 163762873920172938364720264920182947560583610284659502639841, 1637628…”

“I’ll just leave it to you then.” Kermit closed the door. “Some people have the strangest hobbies. Back on topic, when these worlds meet the most interesting people come together, like what happened on Earth-1898.”

Kermit stopped in front of a TV and tuned in to a specific channel. “Sometime, long gone leaders of the world come back to lead again.”

An Adventure of a Multiversal Crisis by jb4280218

The trio looked at the camera feed, unsure of what to do. Hank the dog suddenly noticed something in the almost transparent center of the circle. Call him crazy but was that … a hand?

“Gee,” Gobo the cat scratched his fake cat ears, “these things sure are uncomfortable.”

“Bear with them for now. We’re almost done.” Said Hank the dog, dressed as a cowboy for unexplained reasons.

“Oh, I don’t know why I agreed to this!” Dr Q Van Neuter struggled with his completely unnecessary letter Q shaped helmet. 

“You …insisted you wear that. You didn’t agree to anything.” Said Gobo, confused.

“Shut up! This is no time for technicalities. We have experiments to run.”

“I propose we all leave the safety of our vans and approach the likely unstable vortex, putting our lives in unnecessary risks.” Hank proposed.

“Ooo, I like that. We can all use some fresh air, eh.” Gobo nodded.

“I’m doing it because the script says I have to.” And so all three got out of the van, their fellow finders already surrounding the anomaly. “Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip!”

“Por-tal?” Asked one of the blanket like Martians. “Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope!”

The “portal” was actually a metallic barrel with a fan inside that blew around cheap confetti. “Bar-rel. Bar-rel.” said the Martian with a book.

“Ohhhhhhhhh! Uh-huh, uh-huh.” The Martians kept yipping as the three approached the “portal”.

“Uh, I… don’t remember what we’re supposed to do now?” Asked Gobo awkwardly. 

“Didn’t you read the original story?” Asked Rowlf!Hank. “Somethings supposed to come out. I think it might be a alien or something.”

“Who cares. MULCH!” Dr Q called out. A blue Frankenstein’s Monster Muppet (who didn’t even bother wearing a costume) walked up to Dr Q’s side. “Urrrrg?” 

“Great you’re here. Now Mulch, I need you to do something for me.” Dr Q wrapped his arm around Mulch. “Walk over to that “portal” and stick your head in it for me. Can you do that Mulchy?”

“Ugh?! ARGG!” Mulch refused and crossed his arms. 

“Do it or you’re fired! Come on, it’s one little thing!” Dr Q convinced his assistant and Mulch sighed in resignation. He started to walk towards the barrel.

“Hey he’s not really in danger right?” Gobo asked as he watched Mulch.

“Don’t worry he’s perfectly safe.”

“Oh good.”

“And besides I can always create another Mulch. I did it before.”

“Wait what?” Gobo did a double take. Hank patted Gobo’s back. “Kid, there’s a lot you got to know about working with us.” 

As Mulch stuck his head in the barrel he at first didn’t see anything amiss. “Ugh?” Suddenly he got jumpedscared. “LINCOLN! LINCOLN!”

Mulch yelped as he jumped back and got out of the red wild creature in a blue coat and stovepipe hat pounced on Dr Q. “AH HA HA HA HA!”

“Ani-mal! Ani-mal! Yip yip yip yip yip yip!”

Animal jumped on Dr Q much to his dismay. “Stop that! Oh I’m getting flashbacks to the nunnery!”

“Hey, we should probably help him.” Said the ever good natured Gobo. “We probably should.” Said Hank, though he didn’t do anything. Let Phil suffer for a bit. “Huh, I was so sure Sam would be playing Lincoln. Seems like his type of thing.”

Mansion 

“Wasn’t that ,uh, lovely?” Said Kermit, “next up is-“

“Kermit! Kermit!” A crustacean holding a phone interrupted Kermit. “Pepe, I’m busy.”

“I’ll be quick, ok.” Pepe the King Prawn said. “I’m on the phone with this guy. He’s asking about our wolverines.”

“Our wolverines?” Kermit looked at the audience with a look. “Is he a zookeeper?”

“I think he actually might be a sailor,” Pepe said, “he keeps bringing up anchors, ok. Plus his language is not exactly safe for the sesames if you know what I mean.” Pepe chuckled.

“…Just tell whoever that is to check the local zoo or something.” Decided Kermit, they really didn’t have time for this.

“Si.” Pepe left with the phone. “So Señor Pool, I was wondering if you were in the market for a sidekick, ok.”

Kermit pulled a longbox and opened the top. “With the opening of barriers many people can find redemption and tragedies can be averted like what happened here.” He pulled out a comic, the cover depicted a version of Superman fighting a boy in a strange red mask. The title was: Superman/Brightburn.

A Darker Shade of Red by Marcus S Lazarurs

The town of Brightburn was in ruins, cars where everywhere, houses were crumbled and in the center of it all was a frog. The most dangerous frog in the world, a frog so evil…so terrible… so terrifying …so-ugh! I can’t keep this up.

“I am Frogburn! Fear my power!” (Note: Constantine escaped from the gulag two weeks before the filming of this segment so the role of Brandon Bryers will now go to Robin the frog)

A cute little frog, barely out of the tadpole stage, was flying around in a red mask and cape (actually being pulled by wires) asserting his power. “Take that and uh that.” Frogburn was shooting poorly edited in lasers from his eyes, not actually destroying or hurting anything.

“Stop it right there!” Shouted another flying frog, a Superfrog. “Hi Uncle Kermit!” Waved Frogburm cheerfully. “Wait I mean, who are you?! Someone to challenge me! Well take this!” Frogburn “punched” (lightly tapped) Superfrog. “And that!” Frogburn “punched” Superfrog again.

“Hahaha! … I’m not hurting you too hard, am I Uncle Kermit?” Robin whispered the later part.

“No no you’re fine.” Kermit signed before getting back into character. “Looks like someone needs a timeout.” Superfrog grabbed Frogburn from behind and signaled for the harnesses to be released. Landing on his feet, Superfrog unconvincingly struggled with Frogburn.

“Hahaha! Stop it Uncle Kermit! You’re tickling me! Hahaha!” The two frogs rolled away and fell through a trapdoor. Nearby the 13th Doctor Piggy watched this and rolled her eyes. “Oh brother, that’s what they call a fight?” 

“Doctor! Doctor, I got it!” The Doctor’s companion, Red Fraggle in a black wig, came running pulling a metallic craft behind her. “I found it! Now what cool scientific thing are you going to do to-“

“HIIIIIIIGH-YA!” Doctor Piggy simply karate chopped the spaceship in half, it should be noted that the prop was made of actual athletic skull metal.

“…or you can just do that.” Yazzle Fraggle scratched her head. “Wasn’t one of Brandon’s parents in this scene, should Yaz even be here?”

Meanwhile, beneath the stage, Uncle and Nephew were sitting together, eating ice cream topped with the most delectable of bugs. “Hey Uncle Kermit, why do most Supermen do what they do?”

“Why not? Sometimes someone just wants to help because they can, no tragedies or because destiny says so, they just like offering a helping hand, asking for nothing in return and often they don’t need superpowers to be good.” Kermit smiled to himself and repeated: “You don’t need Superpowers to be good.”

Mansion 

“I love a good redemption story don’t you?” Kermit put the comic back in the longbox. “Sadly some people enjoy being bad too much and when that happens it might become necessary to resist.”

Kermit briefly spoke to the side for a moment. “Are the signals extra strong on those earths? Yes? Good!”

Kermit addressed the audience again and pointed to a poster of Donald Duck throwing a tomato in a cartoon version of Adolf Hitler’s eye. “Please enjoy these pleasant tunes.”

Chronicles of Earth-X by Sentinel of Stories (Der Fuehrer’s Face by Oliver Wallace)

Paris, once thought of to be the city of love, was in ruins. Slaves were everywhere, suffering. Watching over them were a bunch of N@zi officers. Music started playing and they started singing. “When Der Fuehrer says, "We ist der master race" We Heil! (Honk) Heil! (Honk) Right in Der Fuehrer's face!” As they were distracted by their own glory several animals snuck behind and started freeing the slaves. “Not to love Der Fuehrer is a great disgrace So we Heil! (Honk) Heil! (Honk) Right in Der Fuehrer's face!”

As the animals lead the slaves to freedom, the ladybug stayed behind to set fire to the still singing unaware N@zis. “When Herr Goebbels says, "We own der world und space" We Heil! (Honk) Heil! (Honk) Right in Herr Goebbels' face” The officers began inexplicably punching each other senseless with every Heil. “When Herr Goring says they'll never bomb this place We Heil! (Honk) Heil! (Honk) Right in Herr Goring's face.” At that moment a giant bomb landed and destroyed everything.

The scene changed to show Red Velvet Skull addressing his army. “Ist we not the supermen Aryan pure supermen” Captain Americauliflower landed in the middle of the army and fought every single one. “Ja we ist der supermen! Super-duper supermen!”
He was joined by the other Aveggies, Black Bean Widow grabbed Red Velvet Skull from behind. “Ist this Nutzi land so good? Would you leave it if you could? Ja this Nutzi land is good! Vee would leave it if we could!” The Aveggies tied up all the Nasties and threw them into a rocket, launching it into the sun.

“We bring the world to order! Heil Hitler's world New Order! Everyone of foreign race will love Der Fuehrer's face When we bring to der world disorder.” Various muppets from Sesame Streets all over the world and of all ethnicities were having a bonfire, burning Hitler’s face.

“When Der Fuehrer says, "We ist der master race" We Heil! (Honk) Heil! (Honk) Right in Der Fuehrer's face.” Doozers are acting like gremlins now, taking apart various weapons and war machines. Taking away various parts to make something better. “Not to love Der Fuehrer is a great disgrace So we Heil! (Honk) Heil! (Honk) Right in Der Fuehrer's face.”

During the music break, we’re treated to various black and white footage of tanks and airplanes crashing and burning, the fascists at a complete loss of what to do.

The original group of officers are shown again, stripped down to their underwear by the resistance and still hitting each other. “When Der Fuehrer says, "We ist der master race" We Heil! (Honk) Heil! (Honk) Right in Der Fuehrer's face.” The camera zoomed out to reveal that the entire regime was literally burning all around them. “Not to love Der Fuehrer is a great disgrace So we Heil! (Honk) Heil! (Honk) Right in Der Fuehrer's faaaaaaaaaace!” At the final note a piano fell from the ceiling, crushing the N@zis.

“Here’s a Muppet News Flash!”

The Newscaster ran up to the desk. “A new hit song has just been discovered to cause panic and mass hysteria to members of the main ruling political party who hear it on a certain Earth! Thankfully the Earth in question is Earth-X, so no big loss really.” The Newscaster looked up to see a German airplane about to crash land into him. “Not agaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiinnn!” *CRASH*

Mansion 

Backstage the animal and Anything Muppets walked in. “Great job guys!” The animals and foreign Sesame street residents were all laughing and talking to each other, Rosevelt Franklin even gave Kermit a fist bump.

The one dressed as N@zis on the other hand couldn’t wait to get out of their costumes. “I know, but remember it was all for a good cause.” Kermit comforted.

“Hi Kermit.” Greeted Boober.

“Hey Boober. You kept the film reel safe like I wanted?”

“Yes I did. Here’s the film thingy.” Kermit got the film reel and began to put in in the projector. Boober looked down at the discarded N@zi uniforms. “You know, I tried to wash these with the rest of my laundry many times but no matter how hard I scrubbed they never felt clean.”

Boober picked up the uniforms. “The Silly Creatures were right, there’s only one thing you can do with them.” Boober opened a trash can and threw them away only for the uniforms to be thrown back out. “There’s some trash even I don’t love!”

Tomorrow’s Guardians by Michael Weyer

It was a universe of panic. The evil BonBon was enacting his latest plan to destroy all healthy food in the universe. The helpless citizens can only cower in fear as BonBon came for their vegetables. 

“Hahaha! Get them my Cakelon!” BonBon pointed to a nearby farm. 

“Yes Lord BonBon.” Said the Cakelon as they zapped all the plants, turning them into unhealthy junk food.

“NOT THE RADISHES!” Cried out Farmer Boober in despair. “NOOOOOOO!”

Who will save us from this nightmare?! Only three crews possibly can. The crew of the USS Orangeville, led by the brave Captain Ernward Mercer. “Kshshshshshshs!”

“Status report Lt. Rubber Ducky.” Ernward sat in the Captain’s chair and squeezed his rubber ducky. *squeak* *squeak* *squeak* *squeak*

“Captain,” addressed first officer Bertson, “the other two ships are in position and ready to play!”

“Great K. Bertson,” Captain Ernward ordered his crew, “all systems ready?”

“Elmo’s ready to sing captain.” 

“Your ever loyal and cute furry pal Grover can not wait to rock.” Said Grover with bongos in his lap.

“Captain, the other ships are hailing us.” Said Ricecakelon, the healthy Cakelon.

“Put them on.” Ernward got up from his chair. “Hello everybody! I hope you’re ready to put on a good show for our Cakelon friends! Kshshshshshshshsh!”

On another ship, called the Mellonano, was a crew of space eccentrics. Dr Teethlord and the Guardians of Electric Mayhem. “We are absolutely positively ready to bring the house down! Ain't that right fellows!”

“YEAH!” The rest of the band replied enthusiastically. “Yaaaay.” Said the band manager, token human Norah Singh who was dressed Mantis, more quietly. “Feels good to be included.”

“What about you, my fellow enthusiasts of all things music.” Teethlord said to the third ship, hailing them.

The CellaryRider was flying alongside the Mellonado, piloted by its crew. “The music will start soon and the players are willing.” Said Cantus as he and the other Minstrels-“Wait wait hold on! Stop the sketch! Stop the sketch!”

Kermit came running in a panic. “Why, whatever is the matter my froggy friend?”

“What’s the matter? None of you are in costume! After we spent all that time measuring each and all your proportions. Do you know many of us pricked our fingers sewing everything?”

“Not all of us showed up without costume.” Kermit looked behind the Minstrels to see a very surprising fellow frog in a long brown coat and red tie. “Constantine? I thought you were on the run.”

“You really think I let anyone other than Constantine play Constantine.” Constantine tugged his coat. “It wasn’t hard to assemble this, it’s like the easiest cosplay ever. Still I am liking this new disguise. I might be stealing your life next, John.” Constantine started to laugh only to slowly realize what he just said. Why did it feel like he was signing his own death warrant?

“Listen young Kermit. Those outfits didn’t truly represent who we are.” Said Cantus. “Plus some of them were itchy.” Said another Minstrel. “It’s fine that everyone else has fun in other clothing and I’m glad that they do but it’s just not for us.”

“Well, I never wanted to make anyone uncomfortable.” Said Kermit. “I guess it's too late anyways.” Kermit walked off.

“I’m glad this was resolved. Now then where were we.” Cantus raised his magic flute. “It is not our usual style but all music is not beyond our abilities. Let’s show that treats can’t last forever even though we wish they could.”

“Hooray!” Ernward cheered. “Now then-“ Suddenly, in front of the three ships, BonBon’s fleet arrived from hyperspace. From the mothership, a giant ice cream cake, BonBon taunted them. “Ahhahahahaha! Did you really think I'd let you get this far? Soon the whole universe will be too unhealthy and distracted by candy to combat the dessert machine uprising!”

BonBon got prepared to shoot the ships with a giant laser. “Looks like we have to speed things up.” Ernward contacted engineering. “How are things down in the recording studio? Kshshshshsh!”

“All the *GEARS TURNING*, *ENGINE STARTING* and *MICROPHONE STARTING* are ready to go.” Said Lieutenant Commander Simon Soundman. Cookie Monster was dressed in what some would call “drip” and getting a back massage from famous opera singer Placido Flamingo.

“Remember what we practiced.” Encouraged Placido, even though Opera was nothing like the genre of music that was about to be sung. “Me ready to sing!” Cookie Monster stepped up to the microphone and cleared his throat.

On both the Mellonano and CelearyRider the bands got ready to play with the lead singers providing back up vocals. “Oh what are you going to do? Sing us to boredom?!” BonBon laughed loudly while the other Cakelon just laughed dryly. “ha ha ha.”

“Oh you’ll see. Kshshshshsh!” Ernward gave the order and- [Film rips] [screen is all white] 

“Hey what happened? Rubber ducky, did you do this? Bert! Do you have any idea.”

“It was Cookie Monster, I tried to stop him but he just wouldn’t listen.”

“Me so sorry, film reel looked like cookie!” *om nomnomnomnom*

“Elmo’s missing his big debut.”

“All that set up and we do not get to see any of it?!”

“The guy behind this is still not finished, he’s busy with actual *CHA-CHING* jobs.”

“…People get paid for jobs?”

“Oh well, there will be other times to rock out later.”

“Am actually glad this is over. If I had to stand next to annoying fortune cookie nonsense any longer I was going to scream.”

“Hey boss, do you think that Michael will ever finish this story?” 

“He will never finish until he is.”

Mansion

“I wonder how the real thing will end.”

“Can’t be any worse than this one!”

“DO’H HOHOHOHOHO!”

Kermit stared at the screen, confused and concerned. “…You were right. We should’ve made this a Pigs in Space segment.”

“Oh you think?” Said Ms Piggy who was right next to Kermit. Kermit started pacing back and fourth. “There’s still a few minutes to go through! What should we do?”

“Don’t look at me. Moi is only meant for performing on camera. Everything that goes on behind is for other people.” Piggy said proudly.

Kermit talked into a walkie talkie. “Didgit! Please tell me you have those old commercials. Make it quick, someone blue is about to have really bad time!”

“I think so.” A few metallic noises and animal noises were heard along with some yodeling. “Aha, here they are. Should start right about-“

Commercial break, feat. concepts by lightyearpig.

Freiza’s ship

A metal panel unscrewed from the wall. ”Yes, haha I’m out!” A red lump escaped his captors and ran to a small escape vehicle.”Step on it!”

“Can’t wait to have some Wilkins Coffie,huh?” Asked the driver, a brown lizard like-muppet.

“Can’t stand the stuff.” The car drove off into the waiting arms of Freiza’s Cabal. “People who like Wilkins get shorter jail time.” Said Wilkins as a terrified Wontkins was chained up by a grinning Cabal.

Two muppet sparrows were standing against a blue backdrop. “Hey, my friend here is gonna tell you how much he loves Lightyearpig’s stories.”

“What will Lightyearpig do if I refuse?" A foxes’ foot came down and crushed the questioning bird.

*CRUNCH*

“Oh, probably put his foot down.”

In the streets of Neo Gotham a portal opened up. “Ohohoho!” The Swedish Chef stepped out and laughed “Børk! I mede-a it! I’m hur-a fur see jub øøff persuna-“

The Chef realized he stepped in the middle of a battle between the future Batman, Looney Tunes’ descendants and some villains. 

A huge chunk of the building was about to crush the Chef. “Nøøøøøø!” He braced himself and the whole scenario paused. White text appeared. “Be sure to check where and when you are going when traveling with your Multiversal Watches. This Public Service Announcement was brought to you by the Makers Of Nonregular KontraptionS.”

Mansion

Kermit was back on the stage. “Sorry about that folks but rest assured we are now back on track.”

The frog clasped his hands together. “Now then, there have been many alliances made across the worlds and the most … erm, out there might be-“

“I’ll have to stop you right there.” A weasel in a suit interrupted Kermit. 

“Oh what now Joe?”

Joe from legal began pushing Kermit off the stage. “It’s best for all parties involved that I handle this one. You’re not needed right now.”

Kermit reluctantly agreed. “Yeah… this next one is complicated.”

Joe straightened up. “The following segment involves the use of a highly illegal substance that can often lead to a life wrecking addiction ending in death. We here at Muppets Incorporated do not condone the usage of this substance nor do we encourage anyone to give it to bears.”

“If you decide to sue us anyways then you have just fallen for my evil plan. The difference between supervillains and us lawyers is that we all carry suitcases.” Joe stood there, motionless. “HA HA HA HA AH! HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA! … Please enjoy.”

Fozzie and the Council (Cocaine Bear Council created by L1701E)

It was a place of debauchery and pure unregulated chaos! The Cocaine Bear Council, undeniably the most chaotic and unpredictable bunch to ever grace the multiverse. The music was loud and white powder flooded the room while all the bears were dancing.

Some were playing poker, except their version of poker involved them eating the chips and throwing cards at each other. Others were playing darts, except the darts were live, tied up, thrashing Meth Gators and the dartboard was a picture of a pack of crackcoons. Every time some bear would throw a gator a wall was destroyed.

And throughout the whole room you could hear a badly performed karaoke version of Love Shack. Yes, you will never find a more strange sight in Multiversal Cluster IC. Suddenly the party stopped as the front doors slammed open.

“Wocka! Wocka!” Fozzie Bear rode in on a unicycle, all smiles. “Wocka! Wocka! Wocka! Hi-Ya, it's me! I’ve come to-Bobo? You’re a member?!”

“Erm,” Bobo the Bear sweated, “N-No, I’m just visiting.” He said as he swiftly wiped off the powder off his upper lip.

“Anyways, I heard you were always looking for new members so I decided to join the party!” The other bears looked at each other, silently. “Look, I brought some white powder.” Fozzie dropped a plastic ziplock bag of white powder on a table, his fellow bears still looked unsure.

“Ok, ok. How about this.” Fozzie put on a vaudeville hat and brought out a metal cane. He started doing a dance routine. “Ya dada yadadada! Ya dadada! Ya dadadadadadadadad daaaaaaaaaaaaa! DA!”

Fozzie just stood there posing, waiting for the inevitable applause. One of the bears just poked a claw in Fozzie’s bag to get a taste of his product. “Hey, you do know what cocaine actually is right?” Asked Bobo.

“Why of course I do.” Answered Fozzie, much to Bobo’s relief. “See.” Fozzie showed off his cane, Bobo realized it was made of recycled Coca~Cola cans. “Where’s yours by the way? In fact I’m starting to think I’m the only one that brought mine.”

One bear, after tasting Fozzie’s powder, stared at him furiously, this one was dressed as a priest, “FECKING SUGAR!” He threw Fozzie’s bag at his head. “OW!”

Father Jack Bear pointed to Fozzie and banged on the table. “SNORT! SNORT! SNORT! SNORT!” The other bears angrily got up and converged on Fozzie. “What did I do wrong!?”

The bears roughly grabbed Fozzie and prepared to throw him out the window. ‘Well, it was nice knowing him.’ Thought Bobo.

Fozzie cried. “Oh I can’t bear the rejection!” The other bears stopped what they were doing. Slowly one of them began to laugh, the others started laughing too. Pretty soon everyone was laughing. Fozzie was surprised, they…they like his jokes?!

The comedian bear smiled. “So you liked that eh? How about this: did you hear about the bear that worked as a carpenter? He handed wood with his bare hands! Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! Wocka! Wocka!”

The council laughed even harder and started falling out of their seats. “Did I ever tell you about the Mexican bear in the talent show? He was oso talented!” The bears laughed so hard they had trouble breathing, the music and dancing started up again. Fozzie had resurrected the party. “Thank you! Thank you! I’ll be here all night.”

Bobo looked on with surprise. Who knew that the council would actually like Fozzie’s unbearable jokes. ‘I give it three weeks.’

Standing outside the building, seeing the lights and hearing the muffled music was Baby Bear and Papa Bear. “Papa, what exactly is the white powder?”

“Um… that’s just some “special” type of flower son.” Papa sheepishly lied.

“Oh cool. Can I join the happy white power bear club?”

“NO SON!” Papa panicked. “No, not even when you’re older.”

Mansion

“I can’t believe it.”

“I can.”

“Why?”

“Because his jokes are what probably drove them to coke in the first place!”

“DO’H HOHOHOHOHOH!”

Kermit sat on a fancy chair watching an old TV. The show that was playing was Tales from the Crypt…keeper. “I love a good anthology. Of course as my friend LeVar Burton would tell you, all the best anthologies are only as good as their hosts. All anthologies need hosts.”

What about Black Mirror?

“…Ok, all the best anthologies of the past had good hosts.”

The Outer Limits?

Kermit just stared blankly. “Comic anthologies?”

Journey into Mystery.

“All of the IC anthologies?”

Counterpart Conferences.

“Alright I get it!” Kermit looked resigned. “Regardless if you have a host they have to be as good as the stories they tell otherwise they can lead to…well, just take a look.”

Storytellers with Gonzo the Beyond and Rizztu the Watcher (concepts by Movie Brat)

“Space. Time. Reality. It’s more than a linear path. it’s a prism … of endless possibility … creating alternate worlds from the ones you know. I am the Watcher. I am your guide through these vast new realities. Follow me… and ponder the question… What if?”

“Like what if I added cream cheese to this peanut butter and banana sandwich?” Rizztu spread the cheese on his sandwich. “Hmmm.” He moaned as he ate the sandwich. “Delicious. Now then-whoa!” The rat turned too quickly and fell down because of his large prosthetic head.

“I’m ok! Just give me a moment! Ah.” Rizztu got up and brushed his robe. “Ok so I’m going to tell you a story. A story about danger and action with plenty of-*BOOM* The ceiling suddenly exploded and sliding down a pole, entered a whatever, painted red, wearing large shoulder pads, and a blue wig. “I am from beyond!”

“Yes, it is I, Gonzo the Beyond! Straight from being interviewed on the Multiversal Podcast! I’ve come to show off my gallery and shamelessly rip off Twilight Zone’s less remembered brother!” Gonzo was followed by Abby Cadabby and her classmates from the flying fairy school, dressed as some “Mysticons”. “Alright, let’s hear some stories!” Shouted Abbey, the other fairies cheered.

“Now let’s see what painting we will look at-“

“What are you doing?” Asked Rizztu, confused at Gonzo’s presence.

“Rizzo? Wow, we haven’t seen you for a while.” Gonzo said.

“Yeah, it’s great to be doing….anything, really.” Rizztu had a faraway look on his face, the ghostly images of long forgotten muppets briefly surrounded him. Such faces like Johnny Fiama and Sal, Solid Foam, LaChoy Dragon, the Toms, Hilda, Colambo, Seymour, Clifford, Mildred, Bean Bunny, Waldo C. Graphic, uhhh… that guy, and many many more.  “Erm. You still haven’t answered me!”

“…I’m The Beyonder. See.” Gonzo gestured to himself. “I’ve come to tell a story.”

“No, that’s what I’m doing!” Rizztu gestured to himself. “I’m the Watcher.”

“Oh yeah? I have an actual audience,” Gonzo pointed to the waving fairies. “Where’s yours?”

“Don’t you see them? They’re over here.” Rizzo pointed to a pen. Gonzo looked and saw Red Pandas. No, not the giant superhero Red Pandas that are actually young girls but actual real life Red Pandas that you can probably find at your local Zoo. 

“Thats no audience, it’s just your pets. I’m the one that’s going to tell this story. Isn’t that right fellas?”

Abby started to look unsure. “Well, why don’t you both-“

“Um, who are you supposed to be anyways?” Rizztu asked the fairies.

“Don’t you recognize us?” Abby pouted. “We’re the Mysticons!” Abby, Blogg, and Gonnigan posed heroically. “Ok, 1, shouldn’t there be four of you? And 2, you’re all fairies (“Actually I’m half troll.”), there should be one dwarf and one elf, and 3 you’re not dressed like any of the Mysticons!”

Indeed they were not. Abby and her friends were dressed in what could be best described as a strange mix of sailor guardians and LOTR wizards. “Gonzo gave us these outfits. Don’t blame us.” Said Gonnigan.

Gonzo looked embarrassed. “Ok, I never actually played the game.”

“Game?”

“Yeah, it was a computer game. It came out in the 90s, it took place on an island with … so many puzzles. Camilla stayed up all night trying to solve them.” 

“….You’re thinking of- nevermind just go away please.” Rizztu shoved Gonzo and the fairies out of the room. “Hey, there’s no reason why we can’t both do it! It will be just like the old-*SLAM*

“Now, where were we?” Rizztu readdressed his frankly cute, but uninterested audience who had better things to do, like walking around their environment. “Believe it or not most people of the multiverse are average and none are more average then-OOF!”

“Walter!” Gonzo and the fairies returned and Gonzo dropped a renaissance style painting of Walter on top of the rat. “But even the most average of men can still have-WHOA!”

Rizztu managed to throw off Gonzo and the painting. His head prosthetic was crushed. “The most extraordinary things happened to them.” He threw away the crumpled remains of his head, it was too uncomfortable anyways.

Abby, Gonnigan, and Blogg looked at each other as Gonzo got back up. This will certainly be … something.

Earth-itdoesntmatter 

This is Walter.

In a white void Walter suddenly materialized. “What the- where am I?”

Walter was an average manly muppet.

“Average?”

He had an average life, with an average job, “we work the same job, Gonzo.” And the average wife. “I’ve never been married!”

Yes he was so average-, “ok I think they get it now.”

Until one day-|-he won an all expense paid trip to the Amazon! “Rizzo?” The white void was suddenly replaced with a clear blue sky. “WAIT A MINUTE-AHHHHHHHH!” Walter was falling from a very high altitude and the ground, *THUMP!!*, hard!

“Ohhhh, you could have at least made me land on pillows.” Groaned Walter.

Oh sorry, um a bunch of pillows were where he landed. A wooden crate full of pillows fell and landed on top of poor Walter, thank Jim for muppet durability. “Bit too late for that. Ow.” Walter pulled himself from under the crate.

Walter brushed himself off as he looked around the…. desert? Yes! The Amazon Desert! One of the most famous of all landmarks! Sponsored by a poor man’s Lex Luthor,… I think. “Uh this looks wrong.”

Yeah! Where’s all the beautiful buff women?!-|-That’s the wrong kind of Amazon Rizzo.

Anyways, Walter set off to explore the Amazon; his only company was a treacherous guide. The guide in question popped right next to Walter. “Hey, what happened to my Doozer sticks?! What is this place?! Where are my friends?!”

“Hey! You’re Wembley from Fraggle Rock.” Walter said.

“How do you know my name? Do I know you?” Wembley asked.

“Not…exactly. It’s kinda complicated really but I’m a huge fan! I never thought I’d get the chance to meet you, at least in any official capacity. I’m just-wow!”

But Walter’s admiration for Wembley was misplaced as Wembley made plans to betray him.

“…what?”

“Who said that?”

Yes Wembley the traitor, that’s what he was known for.

“I’m sorry what?” But Walter and Wembley must carry on the journey to the most dangerous places including: Quick Sand! The scenery changes to Walter and Wembly sinking in quick sand. “WHAT’S HAPPENING?!”

Dangerous Wildlife! Walter and Wembley were now covered in scorpions. “GONZO! RIZZO!” “THIS ISN’T FUN AT ALL!”

Psychotic Mercenaries! The two were tied up next to Crazy Harry. “HAHAHAHAHA!” *BOOM*

Ancient cursed tomes! Walter and Wembley ran away from being pelted by millennia old books and manuscripts. “Owowowowowowo!”

A Giant Dinosaur! Big Bird looked over the two, he had a green tale strapped on. “Roar. …I’m not scaring you too bad am I?” Walter and Wembley looked at each other, confused as the least scary thing in the Multiverse tried to scare them.

Spam Phonecalls! “No, I do not need an extended warranty for my dishwasher!” Said Walter into the phone. Wembly was not too far by. “…What is a credit card?”

Evil Podcasters-“Stop! Stop!” Walter raised his hands, his surroundings returned to the white void. “Guys,… this isn’t working. I mean, in what conceivable way would Wembley Fraggle turn Judas? Betray anyone for that matter?”

“You’re making me feel awful.” Wembley looked sad. “And Big Bird, he’s too sweet to be scary.”

“Yeah, I don’t want people to be afraid of me.” Big Bird shook his head. 

…He’s right, Rizzo. This is just bad, even for us.-|-Oh come on! This is a great story. It had action, adventure, food, and- oh who am I kidding this sucks.

Back in the…. wherever this was, the two storytellers were stumped. The red pandas and the fairies were joined by Walter, Wembley, and Big Bird. “So that’s it? No more story?”

“Hold on Abby. We’ll think of a new one.” Assured Gonzo. 

“Yeah, it will be better than the last one!” Rizzo was pumped. “Now, uh, what should it be about Gonzo?”

“Well it’s about, erm, uh, it will come to me. Hmm.” Gonzo thought for a moment. “I GOT IT. How about an epic stunt show?!”

“Nah,” shot down Rizzo, “how about an Italian Restaurant?”

“No stuntshow!”

“Restaurant!”

“Stuntshow!”

“Restaurant!”

As the audience looked on, they started to get bored. “This might take awhile.” Walter finally spoke. “Wanna see a real Storyteller?”

Cottage 

“And at last our friends came to us, and they listened to the most wonderful of tales.” And with that the story ended. “Those two weren’t good storytellers were they?” Said the dog, who was cuddling with the red pandas.

“Oh no, they’re actually fine storytellers, it's just that telling a story and coming up with one can be very different things.” The Storyteller laughed softly. “Oh, the many embarrassing stories I could tell you of my early years.”

“Wow,” Wembley was awed at The Storyteller’s skills. So great he was, Wembley forgot he had just lived the events of the tale. “That was incredible!” He did kinda feel bad for the local storyteller back home though.

“See I told you this guy was good.” Walter smiled. As the self proclaimed Jim historian he made sure to get as many connections as possible when he joined the Muppets shall we say.

“You were right Walter.” Abby agreed, she was by herself. Her fairy friends elected to go home, which Walter was happy to do. “They way he described the environments and monsters, not to mention the different voices. Oh you gotta visit Sesame Street sometime Mr Storyteller! All my friends will love you.”

The Storyteller chuckled softly. “Thank you for your compliments my dear.”

Other storytellers, amateurs I’d say. They have undeniable talent but they’re still amateurs. The Crypt Keeper, Rod Serling, The Watcher, The Beyonder, they might be storytellers but he is The Storyteller, the definitive article you might say.

“Hey, Mr Storyteller?” Asked Big Bird. “You’d you mind telling us another story, please?”

“Not at all!” The Storyteller sat back and thought of another tale or rather two more. “They’ve been spending some time listening to other people’s stories. How fitting it is that it will now be their turn to become stories.”

Wembley, Walter, Big Bird, and Abby all huddled together by the fire, listening to the most exquisite tales of how two groups of young girls used their extraordinary gifts to help those in need.

Mansion 

Sam the Eagle fidgeted with a morphing device before noticing the camera was now on him. “Oh, since the multiverse has opened up I have grown greatly concerned.”

“So many sophisticated and wholesome programming and all we can still give is *sigh* The Muppets. I fear how it’s affecting the other Americas.” Sam turned on the TV next to him showing someone packing.

“Moving Right along in search of good times and good news-“ sang the Pilot as he planned his Multiversal road-trip. Sam turned off the TV. “Send help for this young man and his family.”

“But, even in these dark times, you can always count on Wayne and Wanda to provide some fine quality entertainment. Now they’ve been experimenting with some new genres so hopefully that means they’ll actually finish something. So, without further ado, I am proud to give you Wayne and Wanda!”

Wayne and Wanda: Rebirth of Friendship by The Pighead

In a rundown old hotel called “Hashbrown Motel” a man and a woman in pig masks were dancing to the music. The woman was dressed as Zoom. “Since I was born, in this cold world,” Wanda began to sing.

“My life took so many turns” Now Wayne started to sing. “Gifted kid, student, awkward nerd, writer”

“There’s so much names you can give me!” They were now both singing. “One day, I discovered, after I got nearly offed”

“A ton of Earths below miiiiiiiiiii-AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!” Suddenly the floor beneath exploded and a million globes erupted from the floor, throwing the two into the sky. From out of the hole an orange head popped out and looked around. He was dressed as a white clothed ringmaster.

“Oh sorry, wrong room.” Lucie went back into the hole. “This is the wrong room, let’s go, Bertastor.”

Mansion

Kermit was back on. “Our next act is-“ *POW* A remaining glob fell on Kermit’s head and knocked him out. “Oh no!”

Two footsteps approached the frog. “Kermit!” Shouted Scooter. “Kermit are you ok.”

“Froggy!” Cookie Monster grabbed Kermit’s unconscious body and shook him back and forth. “Wake up Froggy! Wake up!” 

“It’s no use. You’re gonna have to take over.” Scooter scooped up Kermit.

“…What?” Cookie Monster asked confused. “Me can’t do it. Me haven’t prepared.”

“It won’t be forever, just as long until he wakes up.” Scooter walks off. Cookie Monster looks at the camera, unsure what to do. “Oh, what me going to do? What me going to do?” He looked behind him and noticed he was in a fancy library and a fancy robe and chair were waiting for him.

He snapped his fingers. “Me got it!”

Monsterpiece Theater: The Musings of Jessica Riley by Batguy01

“Good evening,” sitting in a fancy chair in an equally fancy library and wearing an even more fancy robe was Cookie Monster, “and welcome to return of Monsterpiece Theater. Me once again Alistair Cookie.”

“Tonight’s story is a thrilling tale of a superheroine who just wants to think. Please enjoy The Musings of Jessica Riley.”

In the office of a private investigator sat a muppet cow with dark hair and a leather jacket. She was at her desk. “Mooooooooo!” No, no, no, wait hold on!

“Me so sorry,” Alistair apologized, “that was not The Musings of Jessica Riley, that is The Mooing of Jessica Jones. Very dark story, at least to Alistair. Now here is right one, The Musings of Jessica Riley.”

On a pouch of a farmhouse sat two friends, a nature loving Fraggle and a talking green lantern. The green lantern sighed, feeling sad. “Aw, what’s wrong Jessica?” Asked Mokey.

“I’m tired of staying in the same place. I wish I could move by myself and see new things.” Jessica answered, feeling limited with herself. Wait! That is wrong again!

“Me must apologize once again. That is The Moving of Jessica Cruz. Very heartwarming tale about how a Lantern that is color green…moves.” Alistair starts digging under his chair. “Where is right story? Ah ha!” 

Alistair got back on the chair. “Now here it is, real one this time, The Musings of Jessica Riley.”

Deep in the TARDIS, Jessica Riley-wait. “What? What's wrong?” The purple female Anything Muppet looked down at her main universe Spider Woman costume. “Oh! Whoops!” Jessica ducked below and unzipped something.

When she got back up she was now in the original Ultimate Universe Spider Woman costume. “That’s better.” Now where were we? Deep in the TARDIS Jessica Riley sat, thinking. The last few months have been … hectic to say the least so it was nice to just have some time to yourself.

*bzzzzzzzzzzz* *bzzzzzzzzzzz* Of course that didn’t mean there couldn’t be distractions. “Hey Jess.” Young Mcfly, a muppet fly in an orange jacket, buzzed around. “Wanna play some Wild Gumen?”

“Maybe later. I’m musing right now.” Answered Jess.

“Oh cool. … What’s musing?”

“To muse is to think and often reflect. I like to look back on things.”

“Ohhh. … That sounds boring.” McFly said, he didn’t see the appeal. “Why would anyone want to do that?”

Jessica looked at Mcfly. “Because sometimes we need a break. What was it that you called these last few months?”

“Heavy.” Young Mcfly recalled. “They’ve been … heavy.”

“Yeah. I like to muse about…anything really. About my life, people I knew, my current situation or even on what the future might hold. Come, try it with me.”

“…Alright.” Young Mcfly sat with Jessica. He thought and after a while this was actually pretty nice. 

*WHAM* Suddenly the TARDIS started to shake. “Hello, this is your cute and lovable pilot 11th Doctor Grover! We are about to be crash landing soon so hold tight!” The TARDIS swung back and forth, causing the companion to slide back and forth. “Whooooaaaaaa! Whooooooaaaaa!” *bzzzzzzzzzz*

We return to Alistair on his chair with a contemplative look on his face. “Me don’t get it.” He said and addressed the viewers. “But perhaps musing is not for Alistair. This is Alistair Cookie saying: see you next time, me hope.”

Mansion

Kermit came back out, with an ice bag his aching head. “Thank you for that Cookie Monster.”

“Frog forgive me for eating reel?” Cookie Monster looked hopeful.

”…Yes, I forgive you.”

Cookie Monster was over the moon. “Oh thank you Froggy! Thank you!” Cookie Monster was hugging Kermit. The annoyed frog pushed him off. “Get out of here!”

”See ya frog.” Cookie Monster left. Kermit huffed, looked around and checked his watch. “Oh look at that. We still have a few minutes left.” Guess those commercials weren’t long enough.

He stood there, awkwardly. “Well I guess we can-“

“Hey, I got something!” Gobo joined Kermit on the stage. Red was tugging on his arm. “Gobo, please don’t bother him.”

“Hi Gobo, what’s that you’re holding?” Gobo was holding a small post card and package. “It’s something from my Uncle Traveling Matt. He’s a great explorer.” Red had to scoff. “Oh he’s very good. Yeah right.”

Gobo ignored her. “He always sends me postcards and Silly Creature artifacts from Outer Space. It’s around this time I usually read it, so I was wondering if it be ok if I read it for the show?”

Kermit thought for a moment. “Oh, be said no.” Red hurriedly started pushing Gobo away. “Oh well, we tried. Come on Gobo, better luck-“

“You know what?” Kermit smiled. “That’s not a bad idea. Yeah, let’s read it!”

“Oh no…” Red slapped her forehead, why did he have to say yes?

“Oh thank you!” Gobo looked at the card and began to read. “Dear Nephew Gobo, since what I have named the Great Vacation…”

Uncle Traveling Matt: Fathers and Daughters by Ben2Dartmouth

“…outer space has never been more amazing.” We see Uncle Traveling Matt standing on top of a prehistoric cliff, doing the King of the World pose. “I have never felt more invincible!” He was suddenly swiped into the air by a swooping pterodactyl.

“I have borne witness to the greatest of sights.” Matt was completely in awe of a new mole on his arm, completely ignoring the meeting of the omniversal cosmic beings. He didn’t even seem to realize he was being carried away by an urSkek. “This place is not meant for your eyes, young Fraggle.”

“Have joined the most exclusive clubs.” On Earth-1218, Matt was standing in the front yard of a house with a bunch of ghostly figures chanting: “Watch us! Watch us! Watch us!” Though he was not actually a spirit and had no idea what this ritual was supposed to represent, maybe he’ll understand if he helped some of his fellow club members enter the Silly Creature’s house.

“And have even dined with Royalty itself!” In Earth-19999 transforming Matt continues to eat hotdog after hotdog, growing all sorts of things like fangs, extra limbs, horns, antenna, and thoraxes. Loki, once prince of Asgard now Lord of the Hotdog vendors, looks on in bewilderment over just how this small felt thing could be so oblivious.

“However what I really wanted to talk to you about was this: I was taking a casual stroll when suddenly I ran into them again.” Matt was walking on the streets of Earth-78227 when he started hearing some loud noises.

When he arrived at the scene he saw them. His most recent and possibly his greatest discovery. A Spider person fighting a robot bear. “The Dancing Creatures. As you may recall, despite my own experience and incredible insight, I have never been able to figure out the purpose of these silly creature subspecies’ waltzing. But with this perfect opportunity in front of me I knew I had to get a closer look.”

Matt immediately turned the other way and tried to get as far away as possible. “WAHHHHHHH!” He was, unfortunately, thrown into the air by Plantgirl’s roots. “I needed focus and concentration to clear my head so I could have my full mental faculties.” Matt landed on his head and was completely delirious. “One more slice of Radish Cake Mommy?”

“Miraculously I managed to stay completely still.” The Next Avengers unknowingly kept kicking Matt around, not helping at all with his head. By the time the fight was done Matt was dizzy and disoriented, he couldn’t possibly get the full picture. “At last I got the full picture.”

“You see, the true purpose of the dancing is actually part of a metamorphosis process.” His vision was blurry as the heroes pulled the alternate Peter Parker out of the mechanized suit. “While the Silly Creatures have a different meaning of beauty to us, it was still wonderful to view how happy they all were that one of them matured.”

Peter had some very angry words for the heroes as most of the heroes looked on sadly. Peter also had some very immature things to say to the police taking him away. “Needless to say this, along with many other discoveries, is why I must continue to explore and discover many new things.”

While no one was looking Matt made off with a piece of the Grizzly armor and resumed his travels with a smile on his face. “Hope to share more discoveries like this one soon, love…”

Mansion 

“…your Uncle Traveling Matt.” Gobo dug in the box and pulled out something. “Look, he sent a piece of the cocoon.” It was actually a claw from the Grizzy armor.

“May I?” Kermit took a brief look at the claw. “I think you should give it to the Doozers, they might get some ideas.”

They were joined by the other Muppets from the theater, rock, and street. “Well, it looks like that’s all the time we have for the today. Thank you for watching and remember if you ever need a break from it all feel free to visit us on Earth-924!”

“A fantastic thank you to our freinds from Sesame Street and Fraggle Rock!”

“Thank you for inviting us!” “This was so much fun!”

Kermit wrapped it up. “Life’s like a movie, write your own ending! No matter what happens keep believing and keep pretending! We’ll see you next time on the Muppet Show!”

Gonzo and Rizzo, suddenly popped up at last minute. “Wait it’s over?! But we’ve fina-“

*que ending theme*