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Chapter Text

chenles "obsession" as some would call it started two days ago all because of some stupid drinking game his friends decided to play one night in their shared dorm. they were all sitting around the lounge, rambling on about nonsense with drinks in their hand when jaemin suggested it.

"guys!" jaemin shouted, gaining everyone's attention. "i got this new game we should play!" he said, smiling widely and jumping up from his seat. everyone agreed happily, and suddenly, they were in a circle, a bottle of vodka sitting in the centre with a singular shot glass next to it.

"so," jaemin said, clearing his throat and opening up the way-too-big rule book. "it's pretty simple, i think." he added, squinting his eyes as he reads over a section. "you roll the dice, and whatever colour it lands on, you pick up that colour card and answer the question." he says, "green is relationships, yellow is general, red is sexual," he says, then looks around with a smirk, "and blue is trivial." he says, everyone nods in understanding.

"if you don't want to answer, or can't answer, then you have to take a shot." jaemin says, chenle clears his throat, readying himself- there's no way he'll be taking a shot, there's absolutely nothing in this world that would embarrass him enough not to say it.

"sweet, who starts?" donghyuck asks, and jaemin mutters an "uhh," as he flicks through the rule book. "oh, here. it says that the oldest starts." he says, and they all look over at mark, who rolls his eyes and picks up the dice.

it lands on green, "green is relationships," jaemin reiterates as mark picks up a card from that pile, reading the question silently to himself before saying it out loud. "who in this room would you want to be in a relationship with most, jesus." he says, laughing lightly at it.

"are you gonna answer or take the shot?" jaemin teases, mark runs his hand through his hair with an awkward laugh. "this game is going to get me fucked up," he says, picking up the shot glass and swallowing it in one go, cringing at the taste. everyone boos.

renjun is next, he picks up the dice worryingly, then rolls it. "yellow," he says, looking at jaemin because he can't remember what that colour means. "yellow is general." jaemin says, renjun smiles. "thank god," he says confidently, leaning forward and picking up the card.

"what is your latest guilty pleasure?" he says, then leans back with a hum to think. "cheese," he then says, smiling, and everyone laughs because they all live with him and are well aware that the fridge has been stocked with more cheese than usual lately. "i love cheese too much these days." he adds, putting the card back down. "that one was too easy." mark huffs, and renjun pokes a tongue out at him.

then it's jaemins turn, he gets a green card as well. "do you have a crush, if so who? if you don't or refuse to say, take a shot and clarify." he reads, chenle watches the tips of his ears go red- he remembers when jaemin confided in him about the fact that he has a crush on jeno.

jaemin clears his throat, picking up the shot glass. "i do," he says, taking the shot, coughing lightly afterwards. "but i'm not telling." he wheezes, putting the glass back down and filling it up for the next person. a chorus of "oooo's" goes around the circle.

then jeno picks up the dice, blue. "what is the only planet in the solar system that rotates clockwise? if you don't know, take a shot." he says, shaking his head. "who fucking knows," he says, downing the shot like it's nothing. everyone laughs.

then donghyuck, green. "who is your inspiration?" he says, shrugging lightly. "mark," he says, looking over at mark. "he's a good leader, i aspire to be like him." he says, and everyone scoffs- what a basic answer.

then it's jisungs turn, and this is where everything went wrong for chenle, this is when the "obsession" started. "my turn!" jisung says happily, picking up the dice and blowing it in his hands before rolling. chenle watches his face match the colour the dice lands on. red.

"first sexual card!" jaemin squeals excitedly, jisung dreads his life as he reaches over to pick up the card. he reads over it carefully, before cringing at the question. "i'm not answering this." he says, shaking his head. "read it out loud!" renjun teases from across the room, jisung pouts.

"tell everyone in the room a sexual fact about yourself." he says, and everyone bursts into laughter. "no way, that's so funny." mark says, and jaemin nods. "come on, jisung. you have to!" jaemin adds, jisung covers his face with his hands.

everyone knows jisung hates drinking, especially straight shots like this. he sighs, biting his lip as he thinks. "okay, fine." he says, clearing his throat and leaning back on his hands. "i have hyperspermia." he says, the faces in the room turn from excited to confused.

"what the hell is hyperspermia?" jeno asks, jisung presses his eyes closed. "it's a condition which means that i produce more, uh, semen than the average male." he says, and this is the exact pinpoint chenle would say it happened, the obsession. "w-what does that mean, then?" he asks, jisung looks over at him.

"when i ejaculate," he says, then cringes, "jesus this is embarrassing, but like, an excessive amount of cum.. comes out, i guess?" he says, and chenle has to look away. the room erupts in both teasing and questions that jisung doesn't answer, he shuts them down by saying "that's not the rules, you can't keep asking me questions!"

then, with a red face and too many running thoughts, chenle rolls the dice, red. "no way! two reds in a row." jaemin laughs, and now everyone is extra intrigued as chenle picks up the card. "what is your biggest fetish?" he mutters, then sighs and closes his eyes.

now, chenle doesn't have a problem with this question. he would happily tell his friends what turns him on the most, if only jisung hadn't just revealed the route cause of chenles number one kink. that's right, chenle has a cum fetish, and only seconds ago his best friend had just told everyone that he cums in excessive amounts.

"i'm not saying," chenle says, moving forward to pick up the shot glass but jaemin practically lunges forward to grab it from his hand. "no way, out of everyone in this whole room, i'd expect you to tell us that!" he says, chenle scrunches up his face.

"it must be something really bad." donghyuck teases, and chenle shakes his head. "it's not bad, it's just-" he says, but renjun cuts him off. "then tell us!" he says, chenle rolls his eyes. "you guys are too nosy." he says, huffing and throwing the card to the floor.

"fine." he says, taking a breath and avoiding eye contact from jisung. "i have a cum fetish." he admits, and the room practically loses their heads. jaemin jumps to his feet, mark doubles over laughing, jeno smacks his leg repeatedly, renjuns mouth drops, and donghyuck has the dignity to say, "no way! you and jisung are perfect for each other!"

"this is why i didn't want to say it." chenle says, his face going red and looking away embarrassed. he doesn't see it, but jisungs face is just as red as his own. "alright, that's enough, let's just move on." chenle says, waving everyone off.

now, chenle can't stop thinking about it. he'd never even heard of hyperspermia before jisung, but now it's stuck in his head like a virus. chenle knew he liked cum, he found that out through his first boyfriend.

his boyfriend came on his stomach, and it was like something unlocked inside chenle. embarrassingly enough, he loved cum. he loved everything about it, the texture, the taste, the sight, the mess. the emotional connection and intimacy involved in sharing bodily fluids with someone. he even loved the idea of the power dynamics, and the sexual degradation. chenle was obsessed.

obsessed, that's the word floating around in chenles head. it's what led him to searching hyperspermia, and getting dizzy as he learns and watches just how much the people with this condition really do cum. in one video he watched, a guy filled up a 15ml cup just by cumming once.

then, it led to jisung and his hyperspermia specifically. call chenle crazy, but it's not his fault. he ached to watch it happen in real life, and he knew a man just down the hall who could do exactly that. then he started to wonder how much jisung himself could cum, whether he'd be able to fill up a 15ml cup too.

it started to drive chenle crazy, to say the least.

so, when he was eating breakfast the next morning with jisung, staring down at the milk floating around in his bowl- he couldn't help himself. "does it hurt?" was the first question he asked, he watched jisung look up from his phone and furrow his eyebrows as he shoved his cornflakes into his mouth.

"does what hurt?" he asks, chenle clears his throat. "hyperspermia," chenle says, "i'm just curious about it." he says, and jisung laughs, looking back down at his phone. "sometimes, i guess." he says, shrugging lightly, and chenle should just leave it at that, but he wants to know- and who better to learn from than the source?

"why only sometimes?" chenle asks, jisung sighs, putting his phone down. "are you asking because you have a cum kink?" he teases, and chenle wonders where the confidence jisung gets when him and chenle are alone comes from.

"i'm just curious." chenle repeats, and jisung laughs lightly. "i'm just teasing you." he mocks, "it's different for everyone, but for me it's more discomfort than pain. it just depends on the amount that i cum." he says simply, chenles face goes red at the mention of once again, jisung cumming excessively.

"how much do you cum, then?" he asks without much thought, and jisung tsks, "chenle." he warns, chenle bites the inside of his cheek. "sorry," he says, letting out a breath- that was probably a bit too far. "it's just interesting.. i've never heard of it before." he adds, and jisung nods, leaning back on his chair.

"i mean, i don't mind you asking general questions about it.." jisung says, shrugging. "oh," chenle says accidentally, looking back up at jisung. "but i'm not answering personal questions." he says with a stupid smirk, chenle nods.

that's exactly what he wants to know, though. how much does jisung cum? does he indulge in it? has any of his previous partners been into it? does he like to cum on people, or maybe even in people? would he cum down chenles throat if chenle asked him nicely enough? okay, too far.

"what causes it?" chenle asks instead, jisung thinks. "medications, infections, steroids, uh, exercise and diet.." he says, "the doctors said mine is just genetics," jisung says then laughs, "which was weird to think about." he says, and chenle laughs lightly too.

"so it's temporary, then?" he asks, and jisung nods. "for most, for me it'll probably be permanent. i mean, i've had it since i learned to masturbate, so.." he says, chenle swallows lightly. jesus christ.

"is that all your questions, pervert?" jisung asks when chenle doesn't speak on it further, chenle pouts. "i'm not a pervert.." he mutters, looking away and crossing his arms. jisung chuckles to himself, picking up another spoonful of cereal and chenle watches the way the milk falls from his spoon. "just eat your cornflakes." jisungs says, so chenle huffs and picks up his spoon.

chenle wishes that their one conversation was enough to get the topic out of his mind, but it wasn't. there was a burning desire in him to know just how much jisung can cum, and there was nothing he could do to put it out.

repressing emotions was bad, he knew that- so that was his excuse when he placed a 20ml measuring cup on the coffee table in front of jisung a few days later. "what the hell," jisung said when the cup landed in front of him, chenle gave him a serious expression.

"can you fill this?" he asks, he watches jisung face drop. "are you fucking serious?" he asks, taken aback and so chenle huffs, crossing his arms. "i'm not asking you to actually fill it, jisung." he rolls his eyes, "i just want to know if you can," he says, jisung gives him a look.

"you're actually obsessed." jisung taunts the word that chenle can't forget, and chenle chokes lightly on his spit. "can you or can you not?" he asks again, jisung sighs, leaning back on his hands. "i have no idea. i don't go around measuring my cum, chenle." he says, and chenle frowns.

"you would've had to when you went to the doctors." he says, like it's a fact and it actually makes jisung laugh amusedly. "have you seriously been researching hyperspermia?" jisung says, and chenle freezes because he realizes he's been caught.

"no, it's just an assumption." he lies, jisung gives him an unamused look. "while i'm flattered that you appreciate my medical condition, i'm not about to go fill this with my cum for you, chenle." jisung says, looking back at whatever show he was originally watching on the tv before chenle came and interrupted.

"i didn't ask you to do that." chenle says again, "i'm just wondering." he says, and jisung sighs. "i'm just wondering, i'm just curious, i just want to know." he says, mocking chenles tone. "it sounds to me like you just want wank material and are exploiting me for it." he says, and chenle sighs, rolling his eyes and standing.

"whatever." he says, turning and walking away- purposefully leaving the measuring cup behind, but hoping jisung thinks he just forgot about it in the heat of the moment. jisung eyes the cup, before pushing it off the table and going back to his show.

jisung needs to stop indulging chenle so much, he knows that- but this isn't for chenle. the way he's currently jerking himself off over that stupid measuring cup isn't for chenle, god forbid a man be curious about his own semen levels.

still, chenle and his stupid kink is on his mind as he levels himself in front of the measuring cup that he's pretty sure chenle only brought for this exact reason. he feels his stomach tense and a feeling rushes to his cock, so he tugs harder and then he's cuming into the cup.

he clutches onto the sheet next to the cup as he watches with heavy eyes and a gaped mouth as he cums repeatedly, watching the levels rise until suddenly it starts to overflow. finally, cup full and semen dripping down the sides, he heaves as his orgasm comes to an end and he falls back onto his knees.

"damn," he says through a breath, looking at the cup- he didn't realize he came this much. he's pretty sure if chenle knew about this, the boy would lose his fucking mind. so, he pours his own semen down the toilet (which feels weirdly humiliating) and throws his sheets into the washing machine.

he knows for sure he should have never indulged chenle when the boys walks into the kitchen as jisung is scrubbing the shit out of that stupid measuring cup. "whatcha doing?" chenle asks, sitting himself on a barstool. jisung submerges the cup into the hot water as a reflex when he hears chenles voice, and turns around with a suspiciously red face.

"nothing." he says, even though he should've just said "the dishes" or something along those lines. "bullshit, you're washing something." chenle says, trying to pair behind jisung even though he's well aware that he won't be able to see in the sink from where he's sitting.

"aren't you supposed to be at dance practice?" jisung asks, his voice awfully high pitched for an innocent man. "yeah, in an hour." chenle says, placing his chin on his palm. jisung nods, unsure what to do from here.

"what're you washing?" chenle asks again, jisung clears his throat. "why's it your business?" jisung retorts, and chenle furrows his eyebrows. "just tell me, weirdo." chenle says, getting up from his seat and slowly walking towards jisung.

"go away," jisung says, reaching his foot out to try and kick chenle but chenle just laughs and moves closer. "i wanna see." he says, trying to look over jisungs shoulders but jisung just barricades the damn sink for his life.

his barricades don't seem to work very well, though, because chenle sees the measuring cup floating on the water surface. "no way!" he says, pushing jisung out of the way with some recently gained superhuman strength and grabbing the cup out of the sink like he doesn't care what's been done with it.

"you used this, didn't you?" chenle says, his eyes are wide and full of too much excitement. jisung groans, covering his face. "no." he lies, and chenle can't help but squeal, jisung thinks he's insane. "did you fill it?" chenle asks, full of hope.

"you're literally disgusting, did you know that?" jisung says, snatching the cup from chenles hand. chenle just smiles and shrugs, "you're the one who came in a measuring cup." chenle replies, jisung groans. "you told me to!" he says, putting the cup back in the water and using a scrubbing brush to clean it- it's not like there's anything to hide anymore.

"answer me. did you fill it?" chenle asks, jisung closes his eyes. what is he even supposed to say, is he supposed to confess to his best friend that he just came more than 20ml worth of semen? "yes." he says quietly, he listens to chenle gasp like he couldn't help it.

it's silent for a second, chenles thoughts are running wild and his dick is hardening in his pants. he wishes nothing more than he could've seen it, that jisung would've just given him the cup full of cum, or left it somewhere for chenle to find. instead, he accidentally mutters "that's so fucking hot.".

"asshole." jisung says back, his face blazing hot. he ignores chenle and puts the cup on the drying rack. he should've just thrown it out.

chenle did lose his fucking mind. he went to dance practice with the topic heavy on his mind, and his instructure scolded him too many times for losing focus. in the end, chenle called it off early saying he "didn't feel well."

when he made it back to the dorm, jisung was nowhere to be seen. the measuring cup, though, still rested innocently on the drying rack and chenle found himself snatching the damn thing and locking himself in his room with a throbbing boner.

he sits down on his bed, staring at the cup. he's not sure what he wants to do with it, and he wonders if it's wrong to even be doing this. jisung is his bandmate, his best friend. he shouldn't let his stupid sexual fetishes get in the way of that.

but, he does. the longer he stares at the cup, the more the thoughts consume him. he snatches his lotion off his dresser, and presses a singular pump into the cup. it hardly fills it, so he pumps more, and more and more until the cup is full.

then, he pours it all out into his hand. it's so much, so much that it leaks down the side of his palm and through his fingers. it makes chenles head spin widely. he spreads the lotion over his stomach, and in that moment, he realizes he'll stop for nothing to get jisungs cum.

his course of action is retrying the measuring cup. it's freshly cleaned from his lotion and is clutched in his hand as he approaches jisung at the dining table. casually, he places the cup in front of jisung, just like he did once before and moves to walk away.

"no, absolutely not!" jisung shouts after him, but chenle just presses his lips together and moves quickly, running around the corner before jisung can even think of getting up to tell him off. he hears jisung sigh as he rounds the corner, and it makes him hold back a giggle.

he knows this is childish, but chenle never was one to be shy or give up on what he wants. jisung is well aware of this, still, chenle knows his limits, and if jisung is genuinely uncomfortable or isn't okay with this, he'll pull back- right now, he's just simply letting jisung know that he's a fan of the mans work.

it's not until a rather uncomfortable practice that night when he hears about the topic again, and it comes with jisung slamming him into a locker in the changing rooms after the other members have already left.

"what are you expecting me to do with this, chenle?" jisung asks, emphasizing the word "this", shoving the measuring cup in chenles face. "i already fucking measured my cum for you, and even that was fucking weird." he adds, furrowing his eyebrows, and chenle just smirks at the words, which he knows enrages jisung even more.

"you know you can literally just buy fake cum on the internet, chenle." he says, shaking his head and huffing. chenle shrugs, "why would i want to do that when i have the real thing right in front of me?" he mumbles, eyes locked with jisungs, tone playing innocent. "plus, i'm not really the type of boy who buys dupes." he adds, jisung pokes his tongue in his cheek.

"so what? you want me to be your personal cum supplier?" jisung asks, and the words actually make chenle want to laugh, because this situation is so ridiculous, but he's chenle, and so he just shrugs like it's nothing. jisung drops his arm from where it was pushing chenle into the lockers, and he moves to run it over his face.

"this is so weird, i mean, we're band mates, le." jisung says, "not to mention best friends." he adds, shaking his head. chenle frowns at the words, dropping his head. "i'm not forcing you, jisung.. i just wanna know what it would be like." chenle says, he watches jisung look at him with confusion.

"what what would be like?" jisung asks, chenle bites his lip. "for someone to cum that much on me." he admits, he watches jisung close his eyes and sigh, tilting his head like he's thinking. "you and your ridiculous kink, god." jisung mutters, and chenle feels hope rise in his stomach.

"so?" chenle asks quietly, hopeful and stupid. jisung looks back at him, his expression unreadable. "fine." he says, and chenles eyes widen so much that jisung thinks they're about to pop out of his damn head. "but only one time, and don't do anything weird with it!" jisung says, and chenle laughs at the words.

"what do you consider not weird to do with your cum?" chenle teases, trying to hide his excitement. "don't like, drink it or anything." jisung says, tone clearly embarrassed and chenle laughs, "don't worry, i'm not planning on drinking your cum." chenle teases, and jisung rolls his eyes, face red.

"you're gonna need to get me a bigger container, too." jisung mumbles, and chenle feels his legs go weak at the words. "i'm so hard right now." chenle teases in response, but he's honestly not joking, jisung gives him a disgusted look and shoves his head into the lockers behind him lightly.

"fuck off." he says, turning to grab his bag with a sigh and walking out of the changing room, leaving a very imaginative chenle alone to get way too excited over the fact jisung just agreed to give him a container full of his cum.

more days pass without a container of cum in chenles possession, and he's growing impatient. he did consider just buying fake cum online like jisung said, but when he searched it up, he scrolled through what felt like hundreds of pages and nothing caught his eye.

it wasn't real, and chenle knows he would never be able to fool himself pretending that it is. he just couldn't picture himself actually enjoying squeezing some shitty lube from a bottle on himself, and enjoying it like the real experience.

it's funny, honestly, because even if jisung does end up giving him his cum, it's not like it's going to come from a man in front of him, it'll come from a cheap plastic container, but it'll be real. chenle will know that it's real cum, and that's what gets him.

that's what makes his head spin, that's what makes his dick throb with anticipation.

chenle wants to say something, but right now, he's in a room with all six of his friends, and it doesn't exactly feel like the right time to ask jisung when he's going to willingly give his cum to chenle.

he leans his head back on the couch with a sigh, the movie they're watching is not particularly interesting to him anymore. jisung, who is next to him, notices. "what's wrong?" he whispers, leaning over to ensure nobody else hears. chenle sighs again, because of course it would be jisung to notice, it's not like they know each other like the back of their hands or anything.

chenle pokes his tongue into the side of his cheek, he could be annoying and mutter "nothing" or something like that, but then that would probably just end up delaying things further and he'd never get that damn cum, so he mutters "i'm getting impatient."

he listens to jisung scoff at his words as he falls to lean his head on the back of the couch next to chenles. "about what?" he asks, chenle rolls his eyes. does he really not know or is he just pretending not to? "are you joking?" chenle asks, and jisung gives him an amused look.

"you never gave me a bigger container, chenle." he says, chenle feels his brain fizzle like it's about to explode of annoyance. "seriously?" he whisper yells, "there's like a million containers in this stupid dorm, get one yourself." chenle says, and jisung stifles a laugh.

"i'm kidding," he says, "i just haven't really been in the mood lately." he says, and chenle sighs, crossing his arms and pouting. "yeah, well, i have." he mutters, looking back over at the movie, jisung scoffs again.

"my terms, chenle." he says, and chenle rolls his eyes, he guesses he can't really fight that. "whatever." chenle replies, having had enough of jisung and his mean antics. it's silent for a moment longer, and chenle thinks jisung has just gone back to watching the movie, but then he leans over again.

"i'll give it to you tonight." he says, and when chenle looks over at him with wide, sparkly eyes, jisungs face goes red. "shut up, watch the movie." he adds quickly before chenle can express his excitement, chenle nods frantically, wiggling lightly on his seat, turning to watch the movie that he definitely doesn't find interesting anymore.

he's so excited that he's practically shaking when he's back in his room, he wonders how long he's going to have to wait before he hears a knock on his door and he gets given a the damn cum like it's a drug deal.

anyway, he's already hard, and the second he gets that cum, he's not going to wait before putting it to use- he even hopes that it'll still be warm. he's pretty sure he'll be snatching it from jisungs hands and slamming the door on the mans face before jisung even gets the chance to speak.

meanwhile, jisung in a room only a few doors down, is stuck contemplating on what the hell he's doing. he really truly needs to stop indulging chenle, because this is just ridiculous. he's got a container in front of him like he did only days ago, only this one is bigger and has a lid that he can do up.

his dick rests heavily in his hand, and the worst part is that he actually is hard. it was easier before to do this, because it wasn't like chenle was actually going to see, but now he had agreed to give it to the damn boy- he's sure he's reaching insanity.

well, he'd better just embrace it. that's how he finds himself kneeled over a stupid container for the second time in his life, gasping and sweating as he watches himself cum over and over, the liquid rising like it's never going to stop.

when it does, he falls back on his knees again, looking at the container. it's only half full this time, presumably because it's larger than the measuring cup, and he's not sure why he feels a sense of disappointment, or maybe even shame.

maybe it's just his post orgasm brain acting out of sorts, but he worries that chenle will be upset with it. he closes his eyes, trying to get rid of the thought- it's still a lot of cum, and it's not like he promised chenle a full container, but his dick is hard again and if he's going to jerk off a second time, he may as well fill the container further.

now he's walking down the hallway, a nearly full container in his hand, lid tightly screwed on, feeling like he's doing the damn walk of shame. he's sweaty, shirtless, his hair is messy and his face is red. if any of his band mates walked out right now, jisungs sure he'd die of embarrassment.

then he's outside the door he knows chenle is behind, probably being impatient like he always is. so, jisung swallows and pushes aside his pride, and knocks gently on the door. chenle jumps out of bed when he hears the knock, running to the door faster than he ever has before.

he's met with a very embarrassed looking jisung, but his eyes move to the container in his hand rather than jisungs face. "holy shit." he says in a disbelieving whisper, he hadn't quite expected this much. "there's no fucking way that's real." he adds, jisung turns his head away in embarrassment.

"are you going to take it or not?" jisung mumbles, and chenle nods, reaching out to take the container from jisung, it's warm in his hand and he finds himself swallowing lightly. "is this all just from cumming one time?" chenle finds himself asking, jisung runs a hand through his sweaty hair and lets out a shaky breath.

"no, uh.. i came twice." he admits, he's not even sure why he does, and chenle nods like he's in pure awe. "t-thank you.." chenle says, because he's not sure what else to say, eyes still attached to the container like magnets.

"you're welcome.." jisung replies, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "just, don't be weird." jisung says and chenle just scoffs at the repeated words, because how is anything he'd do with this not weird. "i'm gonna be weird, jisung." he admits because there's no point in lying about it, and jisung bites his lip, coughing awkwardly.

"i guess i can't really stop you.." he laughs a little, like he's not sure what exactly to do now, and chenle finally looks up at him. chenle nods, moving to hide the container behind his back like it's some secret, and jisung takes the hint.

"well, goodnight, i guess." jisung says, pursing his lips and stepping away from the door. "night, sungie." chenle replies, jisung breathes in, spinning on his foot and walking back towards his room, eyes pressed shut and cursing himself under his breath.

the second chenles door is shut and locked, he doesn't find himself rushing into it like he'd expected. he places the container on his desk and kind of just stands there staring at it, suddenly finding himself embarrassed about the situation now that it's actually real.

he finds himself not having the courage to do anything, but he also can't bring himself to just let it go to waste. the whole damn point of this was so he could indulge in his fantasies, and he wants to, god he wants to.

but, still. he thinks about what jisung said, to not do anything weird with it- and it makes him wonder if jisung is actually uncomfortable about the whole thing, still, he's sure he wouldn't have done this if he was, right?

he realizes he needs the extra closure, that jisung is actually genuinely okay with this, and so, his phone is pressed against his ear and it makes him kind of sad because he knows the liquid will be going cold. when jisung picks up the phone, he sounds confused.

"are you actually okay with this?" chenle immediately asks, his arm that isn't holding his phone to his ear folds against his chest. "i wouldn't have done it if i wasn't, chenle." jisung replies quietly, and chenle nods. "okay, uh, good." he says, he listens to jisungs breathing, he sounds nervous.

"i just.. i don't want things to be weird between us.." chenle says, he listens to jisung sigh. "le, seriously, it's fine. if i wasn't okay with it i would've shut you down the first time you talked to me about it. i do know how to say no." he says, and chenle nods, eyes transfixed on the cum.

"what can't i do.. with it?" chenle asks, thinking again about jisung telling him not to do anything weird with it. jisung scoffs, "don't post it online," he teases, "don't give it to anyone else," he adds, and chenle tsks, "i'm being serious!" chenle says, and jisung finds himself laughing.

"so am i!" jisung replies, chenle sighs. "do whatever you want, le." he says, and chenle nods, darting his tongue out to wet his lips, suddenly feeling himself craving it again. "so you're okay with me pouring it on myself?" he asks, "i expected that much." jisung replies, and chenle swallows.

"what if i put it in my mouth?" he asks, he listens to jisung clear his throat. "then do that." he replies, his voice quieter than before, chenle nods. "what if i use it as lube, and fuck myself with it?" he mutters, holding his breath, and he thinks jisung holds his breath too.

"why're you telling me this?" jisung asks, and chenle shrugs, "dunno, just want to make sure you're okay with it." chenle says back, jisung is silent for a moment, then clears his throat, "yeah, i'm okay with it." jisung replies, chenle feels his knees go weak with the consent, and he nods.

"okay." chenle says, "okay." jisung repeats, "i'm gonna, uh, go now.." chenle says, jisung lets out a breath. "okay.." he says again, "have fun." he adds, chenles face goes redder than it ever has before. "thanks." he says, dropping his phone from his ear and hanging up.

he looks back up, his face red and his dick hard. he finally has the courage to step towards the container, and picks it up, walking it over to his bed. he sits down, placing the container next to him for a second as he pulls his hoodie over his head, leaving his shorts on.

he leans back against his headboard, and slowly, unscrews the lid. he feels his mouth part on its own as he looks down at the excessive amount of cum, and he finds his pointer and middle finger moving towards the container. when his fingers finally touch the cum, his head genuinely spins in a way that shouldn't even be okay- it's still warm, it's thick, and when he lifts his fingers, a string connecting follows up, causing chenle to let out a shiver.

he dips his fingers back in again, scooping out a little bit, watching the string follow until it breaks apart, and he brings his fingers up to his mouth. slowly, his pushes his fingers into his mouth, letting his tongue run over them, the cum seeping into his taste buds.

chenles eyes roll back at the taste, and he subtly thrusts up in a desperate attempt for some friction against his throbbing dick. jisungs cum is a perfect mix of salty yet sweet, and chenle thinks it's the best thing he's ever tasted in his entire life.

he sucks his fingers as his other hand moves down to his shorts, lightly rubbing himself over the clothing, he almost can't believe he still has a whole fucking container left of this. his head spins with pleasure, and he only lets his fingers leave his mouth to collect more cum before bringing them back to his tongue, the taste flooding his senses again.

when the taste starts to fade again, chenle pulls his fingers out of his mouth and to the waistband of his shorts, pulling them down quickly, removing them from around his ankles and throwing them carelessly across the room.

he watches his dick spring up, precum leaking at his tip, but it's nothing compared to jisungs. he picks some more up on his fingers and rubs it into his tip, mixing his cum with jisungs, letting out shaky gasps as he watches.

he genuinely believes this to be the best sexual experience he's ever had, sure, his ex partners have let him play with their cum before, but god, nothing has ever been like this. complete free rein and what seems like endless cum to play with, chenle probably couldn't have even dreamed of something this fucking good.

his hand dips back into the container, but instead of just collecting it on his fingers, he lets his hand scoop some up, then, he positions it above his stomach, and lets it seep from between his fingers like he did with the lotion, watching as the cum falls. when the first drop lands on him, his back arches and he lets out an embarrassing moan, jerking himself off faster as more and more lands against his tummy.

he lets his hand fall against his stomach, spreading the cum around, running it up and around his nipples, up his neck, and eventually back to his mouth where he sucks at his fingers and licks his palm, wanting to savour every last drop.

iwhen he feels himself coming close to orgasming, he stops jerking himself with a whine, instead turning around to rest on his arms and knees, he closes his eyes as he presses his head against his pillow, slightly embarrassed of what he's about to do, but jisung himself said it was okay, so..

he dips his fingers back in the container, coating them nicely, then brings them around behind himself. he drags a coated finger over his hole, whining slightly, and allowing himself to push it in. he gasps immediately, eyes rolling back into his head.

as he slowly fucks himself, he thinks about how he's never done this before- sure, men have cum inside of him, but he's never used someones cum as lube, and he wishes he'd done it sooner because it feels so much better- granted that's probably just a placebo, but it doesn't make it any less enjoyable.

then, he pushes in another finger, moaning quietly into his pillow. it feels so good, actually unreal, and he even decides to collect more cum on his free hand to suck on again because there's enough that he can just do that.

his pace quickens, running his fingers over his prostate, which makes his head spin at the idea of the cum touching him like that, and his dick leaks onto the mattress below him. "fuck," he mutters, quickening his pace, letting his hand drop from his mouth to hold himself up better, he feels his orgasm quickly approaching.

he feels pressure quickly building in his stomach, and he places his free hand back on his cock, jerking himself off until finally he's cumming into his hand, and stupidly, he moans a name he definitely did not expect to come out his mouth. "fuck, jisung.."

sitting on the shower floor only 10 or so minutes later, chenle comes to another realization. it's not just about the cum anymore, it's about jisung. he'd excused his reasonings as the fact that jisung had hyperspermia, which was the only reason the source of the cum was coming from jisung- he'd only wanted his cum, not him.

now, he wants jisung. he wants jisung above him, cumming inside him, on him, in his mouth, everywhere. he lets his head fallback against the glass wall of the shower, sighing. god, he's really fucked up this time. it only gets worse when he's showered and dressed, and walks back into his room to find the container still on his bed, lid pressed tightly back on.

there's still cum left in the container, and he wants to keep it. it feels like a waste to throw it out, especially when jisung so kindly gifted it to him- plus, if he could preserve it, he could use it again. that's how he finds himself searching up how to preserve cum, like the idiot he is.

he finds out that he can put it in the freezer, and it will last 3-5 days before going bad, which he thinks is perfect because he's pretty sure he'll definitely be using it again in less than 24 hours, so, he shoves the container in a sock, and staples a note on it that says "do not touch!! i will find you and kill you." before tiptoeing to the kitchen and shoving it right to the back of the freezer where he's sure nobody will see it.

he doesn't realize that he is gravely mistaken.

the next morning, when he's still fast asleep in bed, jisung is in the kitchen, digging through the freezer to find the hashbrowns that he's sure is in there. he specifically remembers buying them only a couple days ago, and there's no way they've all been eaten already.

that's when he finds the frozen sock, and with confusion, he pulls it out of the freezer. he sees the note, and immediately recognizes it as chenles handwriting due to the messy, broken hangul (he knows it's not renjuns, because renjuns handwriting is a lot neater than chenles).

"do not touch!! i will find you and kill you." jisung reads aloud quietly, and scoffs at the words. at this point, he's okay with chenle killing him over being a bit nosy. if chenle is allowed to fuck himself with jisungs cum, then jisung is allowed to look at whatever chenle's hiding in this sock.

he finds himself actually laughing out loud when he pulls the stupid container out of his sock, significantly more empty than it was the night before. he can't believe chenle is trying to preserve it, he thinks the boy is actually insane.

he finds himself outside chenles door again, feeling a sense of deja vu. at least this time, the container full of his cum is hidden in a sock. he knocks on chenles door, but doesn't get an immediate response.

so instead, he tries to open it on his own, but the door is locked. jisung sighs, knocking on the door louder, "chenle!" he calls out, and finally, a groggy looking boy opens the door with an annoyed expression.

"what?" he asks, rubbing a hand over a tired eye. jisung smirks, pulling the sock from behind his back, holding in up in front of chenle, who's eyes suddenly widen and he lunges forward to try and snatch it from jisung but jisung dodges it, moving to hide it back behind his back again.

"did you not read the note?!" chenle shouts, and jisung chuckles. "you're actually so disgusting, did you know that?" jisung replies, and chenle groans, stomping his feet like a child. "you weren't supposed to know about it." he says, embarrassed.

jisung gives him an amused expression. "the freezer isn't cold enough to preserve this, chenle. it'll go bad." jisung tells him, chenle frowns. "yeah, in five days." he replies, jisung stifles a laugh. "gross." jisung tells him, and chenle is well aware of that fact.

"give it back, it's not yours." chenle huffs, jisung raises an eyebrow. "i mean, technically, it is mine." jisung says, "plus, what if i want it back?" he teases, chenle feels himself swallow. "then you'd owe me more." chenle replies, jisung lets out a huff.

"would i?" he asks, chenle nods slowly. "yeah, you would. asshole." chenle says, crossing his arms. "if you want more, chenle, just ask. but i wouldn't keep this in the freezer, the others won't listen to your note either if they find it." jisung says, pulling the sock back from behind his back, and chenle frowns, snatching it from his hand.

"traitors." chenle mumbles, his face going red, putting the sock behind his own back so that jisung can't take it away from him again. he listens to jisung laugh quietly, and he's glad it's not awkward between them like he worried it might be.

"get dressed, i'm making breakfast." jisung says, and chenle nods, watching jisung smile lightly before leaving him alone. chenle shuts the door and sighs, he's so embarrassed. he learns that jisung was also right, when the cum defrosted, it was just a sludgy mess that disappointed chenle, and so, with the jisungs words of "if you want more, chenle, just ask", he sadly drains it down the sink.

"what the fuck is going on between you and jisung?" chenle hears later that night as he's curled up in the living room alone, half way through his binge watch of some random show he found on netflix. he looks over at jaemin with furrowed eyebrows as the boy joins him on the couch.

"what'd you mean?" chenle asks, his heart racing at the words- what does that mean? does jaemin know? did jisung say something? "don't freak out, but last night i was leaving the bathroom and saw jisung at your door.." jaemin says, and chenles eyes widens, he pauses the show and turns to face jaemin.

"what did you see?" chenle asks, his heart pounding out of his chest. "i mean, i didn't really see anything, but i may have been eavesdropping.." jaemin says, chenle curls up into himself, covering his reddening face with his hands. "oh my god." he mutters, embarrassed to the ends of the earth.

"don't tell anyone else." chenle mumbles, jaemin scoffs, "i don't even know what i'd say if i did." jaemin says, shaking his head. "i wasn't even going to say anything to you, but jesus chenle, you gotta explain this one to me." jaemin says, chenle groans loudly.

"fuck off, i'm not explaining it to you." he replies, jaemin chuckles lightly. "i'm not judging you, i'm just a bit shocked. i didn't know you and jisung had something going on." he says, and chenle shakes his head, dropping his hands from his face.

"we don't have anything going on, we're just friends.." chenle says, swallowing, the look jaemin gives him tells chenle that he doesn't believe him. "he gave you his cum, chenle." jaemin says, like chenle doesn't already know that.

"can you be quiet! jesus christ." chenle complains, "no, i'm not dropping this! you know that i like jeno, i want to know too." jaemin says, finally whispering when he mentions jeno, chenle pouts, trying to persuade jaemin to just stop talking with puppy eyes, but it doesn't work.

chenle sighs, turning away embarrassed. "you remember when we did that drinking game?" chenle asks, and jaemin nods. "well, it's stupid, but jisungs hyperspermia got like, stuck in my head?" he says, sounding unsure, and jaemin nods again. "we kinda talked about it, or well, i taunted him about it, and i asked him to... cum in a fucking measuring cup for me, and he did."

when chenle stops talking, jaemin bursts out laughing, his head falling back and he has to clutch onto the couch to control himself. chenle leans over and smacks him, muttering for him to shut up. "that's quite literally crazy." jaemin says once he's calmed down, and chenle nods because he knows.

"so what? there's nothing else going on?" jaemin then asks, and chenle shrugs, "nope," he says simply, jaemin scoffs. "he'd literally do anything for you." jaemin adds, shaking his head, and chenle nods along; he'd learned that when they first debuted and jisung would follow him around like a lost puppy, speaking in terrible mandarin just to try be friends.

"can i admit something to you?" chenle says after a minute, and jaemin nods. chenle swallows, closing his eyes. "i want to have sex with him," chenle says, he watches jaemins eyes widen. "but i don't have feelings for him, it's just because of the hyperspermia." he adds, jaemin simply blinks at him.

"that's horrible." jaemin says, and chenle sighs, "yeah." he agrees, "that's why i'm not going to, but i really want to." he says, pouting lightly. "i mean, you could try to talk to him about it? he might be okay with it." jaemin suggests, but chenle shakes his head.

"i don't want to ruin things between us. he's my best friend, i don't want to lose him over some stupid fetish i have." chenle says, he watches jaemin curl his lips like he's thinking. "were things weird today? after last night?" jaemin asks, chenle shakes his head.

"no, he was really normal about it all." chenle replies, and jaemin shrugs. "then maybe it'll be normal if you have sex, too." jaemin says, chenle sighs lightly. "but it's kind of different, i mean, sure it's weird to give your friend a container full of your cum, but it'll be weirder to actually have sex.. like, it means more." chenle says, and jaemin nods in understanding.

"yeah, i get that. it's up to you, le." jaemin says, and chenle sighs. "how would i even bring it up to him?" chenle says, and jaemin shrugs. "how did you ask him to cum for you?" he replies, chenle pokes his tongue in the side of his cheek, "i didn't really, i just put the cup in front of him one day and then he pulled me aside and was like "are you serious?" and i was like "yes please"." chenle says, it makes jaemin giggle.

"i was going to say maybe you should just place a condom in front of him, but that kind of defeats the whole point, doesn't it?" he says with a laugh, and chenle cringes, hitting his arm. "you're so annoying." he complains.

jisung and chenle were already close, but in some strange way, this whole situation has just made them even closer. during another movie night days later, jisungs arms are around chenles waist as chenle finds himself situated between jisungs legs, leaning back to rest against his chest.

chenle finds it somewhat hard to focus, though, not only because of that fact he's been craving the man behind him to cum all over him, but because jisungs fingers are crept under his shirt, dragging along the skin just above his waistband.

"i'm surprised you haven't asked me again," jisung then whispers in chenles ear as if he was reading the boys mind, it makes chenle jump slightly. "what?" chenle whispers back, looking around the room to see if anyone can hear them talking- they really need to stop talking about this during movie nights.

"i just expected you to be asking me, like, every night." jisung says, his voice somewhat teasing, and chenle clears his throat, leaning further back into jisung. "i'm not that horny." he mutters, but he also didn't think jisung was being serious when he said it the other day. jisung laughs lightly at the words.

"you can ask whenever you want, though." jisung says, chenle thinks jisung has actually lost his mind for willingly allowing chenle to do that. "why? are you some sort of paypig but for cum?" chenle taunts, and jisung snorts at him.

"i'm just saying," he replies, and chenle nods, swallowing lightly. "i kind of want something else," chenle confesses, he feels jisung shift behind him, "what do you mean?" he asks, and chenle shrugs, shaking his head. "this isn't really the place to be talking about it, jisung." chenle whispers, he listens to jisung clear this throat and take a deep breath.

"then let's go talk about it somewhere else." he says, chenle turns his head to look at jisung with furrowed eyebrows. "seriously?" he asks, and jisung nods his head, so with some hesitance, chenle clears his throat and shifts forward to stand up.

nobody looks at him when he stands, probably assuming he's just going to use the bathroom, but when jisung stands up after him, at least jaemin gives him a suspicious look. "come on," jisung says, taking a step around mark and donghyuck next to them, and with a breath, chenle follows.

they're in jisungs room, hidden behind a closed door when chenle speaks again. "that probably looked a bit strange," he says, jisung laughs lightly. "maybe we were just bored." he replies, joining chenle and sitting next to him on the bed.

"you said you want something else." jisung reminds, and chenle feels his face heat up. he hadn't expected himself to actually be in this situation- he wasn't even going to mention anything to the damn man, curse his tongue for always speaking without his consent.

"yeah," chenle replies, pulling his knees to his chest. jisung gives him a look like he's expecting chenle to speak further, chenle sighs with a shrug. "i want to like, actually see you cumming." he whispers, jisung scoffs lightly.

"what, do you want me to like, record it?" he asks, chenle swallows lightly, pressing his eyes closed- he could just say yes, it would be less awkward than what he actually wants, but again, he's not that person. "no, i mean in person.." he says, refusing to look over at jisung after he speaks.

"oh," jisung replies, and chenle can agree with that word. "you want to watch me cum? in person?" jisung asks like he's trying to wrap his head around it, and again, chenle should just say yes and leave it at that, but, "i want you to cum on me." he says instead, jisung takes in a very deep breath

"on you." he repeats slowly, and chenle nods, looking over to the boy- his face is red and he has his lips pursed. "and this is all just because of your kink?" he adds, and chenle nods again, feeling embarrassed. "yeah, i guess." he says, jisung nods- chenle can tell he's trying to process all of this.

"jesus, i should've just taken that shot." jisung mutters, running his hand over his eyes and it makes chenle giggle a little. "you should've realized i'm insane." chenle teases back, and jisung nods, smiling a little. "you can say that again." he says with a sigh.

it's silent for a moment, and chenle allows it to be- he lets jisung process his thoughts, because he's well aware that this is something that needs to be processed. "do you want to do it now?" jisung asks, chenle swears his stomach drops.

"what?" he says, because he didn't expect jisung to accept it so easily, he expected a few days of thinking, like what happened before. "what?" jisung repeats, and chenle shrugs. "i- i didn't expect you to agree so easily.." chenle admits, and jisung shrugs.

"i wasn't agreeing, i was just asking." he replies, and chenles stomach floats right back up into place as he pouts in disappointment. "oh," he says, "we can do it when you're comfortable." chenle clarifies, and jisung nods lightly.

"this is just-" jisung then says, standing up from the bed and pacing in front of chenle. "i never expected something like this to happen with us." he says, laughing like he can't believe it. "i'm sorry." chenle then says, because he thinks jisung is starting to freak out a little.

jisung waves a dismissing hand, shaking his head. "no, don't be sorry- just.. i'm in shock." he says, "like, i don't want things to become weird between us, chenle." jisung says, and chenle nods, somewhat wishing he'd never said anything.

"i know, i don't want that either." chenle says, "we can just forget i ever said anything, if you want." he adds, picking at the skin on his fingernails. he watches jisung shake his head, "no, i didn't mean that.." he says quickly, and chenle feels that stupid hope rise in his stomach again.

"just, give me some time to think about it, okay?" he asks, and chenle nods quickly, "of course." he replies, and jisung nods again, letting out a breath. "do you want to go back out and watch the movie?" chenle asks, unsure what to do now, it makes jisung let out a laugh as he nods, "sure."

they don't sit how they were before again when they rejoin the group for the movie, instead, they sit on the couch next to each other with a considerable amount of distance, and chenle wonders if he's already ruined everything.

then, that same night after jisung and chenle parted ways with nothing more than a tightly pressed smile towards each other, chenle finds himself knocking on the door of jaemin and jenos shared room, a pout present on his mouth.

jeno is the one to open the door, and chenle barges past him and stalks towards jaemin. "i fucked up." he whines, collapsing into the bed next to jaemin, who jumps lightly at the unexpected action. jaemin coos lightly with a laugh, ruffling chenles hair.

"what's wrong?" he teases, chenle looks up at him with his ever so present frown and mutters "jisung." the look jaemin gives him is one of amusement, but before he can speak, another voice jumps in. "what happened with jisung?" jeno asks, and chenle had completely forgotten the other man was here.

"oh, jeno." he says, as if it's weird that he's in the room even though it's his room. "forgot you were here." he adds, and jeno lets out a scoff at the words. "you're in my room." he states, chenle scrunches up his face and rolls over to his back, staring at the roof.

"i talked to him about it, you know, the thing i said to you the other day." chenle tells jaemin, trying to be as brief as possible because he's not really in the mood to also tell jeno that he's currently obsessing over jisungs cum. "okay, what'd he say?" jaemin asks, and chenle shrugs lightly.

"he kind of freaked out, and told me he needs to think about it." chenle says, he listens to jaemin sigh. "is that why you both left during the movie?" he asks, and chenle nods solemnly. "is anyone going to explain to me what is going on?" jeno butts in, and chenle furrows his eyebrows at him.

"nope," he says, "and don't ask jisung, either." he says, he watches jeno sigh and roll his eyes, "alright then, i'll give you some space." he says, standing up from his bed and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him.

jaemin smacks chenle when jeno is gone, telling him off for being so blunt, but chenle just shrugs lightly. "explain it to me again," jaemin says now that they're alone, chenle nods, moving to sit up properly.

"during the movie he said he was surprised i hadn't asked him for more 'cus he said he'd do it again if i wanted," chenle says, he watches jaemin hold back a laugh, "and i told him that i wanted something else." chenle adds, jaemin nods slowly. "okay," he says, waiting for chenle to speak further.

"and so he wanted to know what i meant, so we went to his room and i kind of explained it." chenle says, jaemin still gives him a look like he's waiting for more. "did you say you wanted to have sex?" jaemin asks, chenle shakes his head.

"no, i said i wanted to see him cum.. then it was a whole thing of whether i wanted him to video it or in person or blah blah, and i just told him flat out that i wanted him to cum on me." chenle says, throwing his arms around at some points to exaggerate the story.

jaemin laughs out loud at the words, putting a hand over his mouth to try and stifle the noise. "stop laughing," chenle says with a frown, but it causes jaemin to giggle more. "sorry, sorry, it's just kind of funny." he says, chenle rolls his eyes.

"it's just, i want to see it happen so badly. surely you've got something that you want to happen, too." chenle says, jaemin shrugs. "i want jeno to fuck me until i can't walk." jaemin says, and chenle throws his hand out like his point has been proven.

"exactly!" he says, jaemin smiles. "but i'm not just gonna ask him, le. that's why it's funny to me, you've got balls." he says, and chenle groans again. "i can't help it, it's literally all that's on my mind every time i see him. like, what if i never met someone with hyperspermia again and i've missed my only chance to see it in person!" chenle explains, jaemin lets out a scoff.

"well, he didn't say no, right?" jaemin says, chenle nods. "maybe he just needs time to think about it, and if he does say no, it's not like things have to be ruined. just pretend nothing happened and he'll get over it eventually." jaemin says with a shrug, and chenle nods sadly.

"yeah, i guess." chenle says with a sigh, jaemin smiles, pulling him closer, chenle lets himself fall sadly into jaemins arms.

the next few days are spent with chenle and jisung hardly speaking to each other, they have some public appearances and videos to film, and they act normal on camera, only speaking to each other when they have to- chenle only wishes further that he never said anything.

it's almost six entire days later when chenle is alone in bed, scrolling through tiktok, that he gets a knock on his door. he yells out for them to come in, thinking it's probably jaemin or renjun, but instead he watches the door swing open and a familiar raven-head leans against the doorframe, clearing his throat.

"jisung?" chenle asks, sitting up in his bed properly to look over at him. "hey, can we talk?" he asks, and chenle nods, swallowing. jisung gives a tight pressed smile, shutting the door behind himself and twisting the lock, making chenle furrow his eyebrows.

jisung sits himself on the edge of chenles bed, sniffling a little as he sits. "what's up?" chenle finds himself asking when jisung doesn't speak first, the man clears his throat. "i've thought about it." he says, not looking over at chenle.

chenle sits up more, he's expecting a no. after being ignored for almost an entire week and jisungs first reaction when chenle brought it up, there's just no way he's okay with it. "okay.." chenle says, and jisung nods, like he's trying to clear his mind.

"i'm sorry for being weird this week, just-" he says, "i just kind of freaked out, cause i was worried it would ruin things between us.." he adds, chenle nods along to the words. "but then i started to think about when i gave you my, uh, you know.. and it wasn't weird after that, so why should it be weird if we do other things, right?" he says, chenle feels himself getting confused, he can't tell what jisungs trying to say.

"yeah, it doesn't have to be.." chenle agrees, "and we both don't have feelings for each other, so it's not like it'll mess things up that way either." jisung adds, clearing his throat again. "anyway, i'm okay with it. i think." he finally says, chenle feels his eyes widen as he moves forward.

"you're okay with it?" he asks, jisung nods, looking over at him. "yeah." jisung says, and chenle doesn't reply, he doesn't know how to. his mind is spinning, and he suddenly starts to wonder why he's okay with it.

it's not like he's getting anything out of it, he can jerk off whenever he wants, so it's not like it's going to be anything new or special, it's literally only for chenles pleasure. "i have a condition, though." he then says, and chenle squints his eyes, because this makes more sense then jisung just giving in.

"go for it," chenle says, trying to act as casual as possible. "i feel like it's going to be awkward if i'm just jerking off and you're just like laying there or whatever, so i want you to do it." he says, chenles head spins at the words- he wants him to do it? how is that not weirder?

"what- what do you mean?" chenle asks, jisung finds himself shrugging. "i want you to jerk me off." he clarifies, chenle feels his jaw drop subconsciously, "oh." he says, but for some stupid reason, he's not opposed to the idea.

"just, we'd both get something out of it that way." jisung adds, and chenle nods faster than he should. "yeah," he says, taking in a shaky breath. "i'm fine with that." he says, the look jisung gives him is one as if he wasn't expecting chenle to agree so easily.

"really?" he asks, and chenle nods, swallowing lightly. "should we, uh, do it now?" jisung then asks, and chenle wants to shout out yes and jump on top of jisung, but instead, he nods carefully and says a quiet "yeah.."

that's how they both end up only in their underwear, jisung laying on chenles bed as chenle sits on his thighs, staring at each other like they don't know what the fuck they're doing. "this is so weird." jisung says with a quiet chuckle, and chenle nods lightly.

"just pretend it's not me," he says, jisung raises an eyebrow, placing his hands against chenles thighs. "are you going to pretend it's not me, too?" jisung asks, chenle shrugs. "probably not," he confesses, and jisung laughs a little. "wow, double standards." he says, causing chenle to let out a scoff. he can tell jisungs trying to not make it as awkward, which he's thankful for.

"shut up," chenle mumbles, his eyes moving away from jisungs face and down to the bulge in his underwear. he takes a deep breath, he can't believe he's about to touch his best friends penis (which kind of feels like nothing compared to fucking himself with the same mans cum, but still).

jisung clearly follows chenles eyesite, because he shifts a little below chenle, and chenle can hear the shaky breath the takes in. "i'm gonna-" chenle says, moving his hand to hover above jisungs clothed dick, "'kay.." jisung replies, nodding a little.

chenle bites his lip, and lets his hand drop to rest against the cloth, he listens to jisung take in a breath, and slowly, chenle folds his hand around the shape of jisungs bulge, massaging it lightly. he feels the dick twitch lightly in curiosity, and when he looks up at jisungs face, the mans eyes are pressed closed and his face is red with embarrassment.

one of jisungs hands move up to cover his own face, and the other one squeezes lightly against chenles thigh, chenle takes it as a sign to apply a little more pleasure, he feels jisung start to harden under his hand.

it's so strange, there has never been a day since he met jisung where he ever thought about being in this situation with him, but now he's here, and despite it being a bit odd, it's not completely weird. he can't imagine himself being here with any of his other band mates, even the thought of it makes him shudder, but it's not like that right now.

jisung is below him, breathing heavily with a red face and hand gripped onto chenles thigh, and chenle finds himself not minding it in the slightest. "is it okay?" chenle asks quietly, palm running over the bulge.

jisung nods, "yeah," he says back a bit breathless, and stupidly, chenle feels his own dick start to harden in reaction, he hopes jisung can't feel it against his thighs. chenle nods in response, and when he thinks jisung is hard enough that his dick wont just sit there flaccidly when exposed, chenle lets his fingers curl under the waistband of jisungs boxers.

"can i?" he asks, even though they're going to have to come off anyway if chenle wants jisungs cum anywhere near him, jisung just nods silently, still as embarrassed as ever. so, slowly, chenle pulls them down, watching as jisungs half hard dick flies up, not yet pressed against his stomach, but definitely getting there.

chenle sits up a little, allowing room to pull the boxers down further until they're completely off jisungs legs and left discarded on chenles bed. jisungs dick is above average, and it's not like chenle had thought about it before, but the size doesn't really surprise him. still, it makes his own dick twitch again as he thinks about all kinds of places he wants this length to go.

"can you get my lube out of the drawer?" chenle asks awkwardly, because he doesn't really feel like leaning all the way over jisung just to reach his bedside table, but jisung doesn't go to move. "just use your spit." he replies, and chenle groans in response, but still, he spits into his own hand, then moves to wrap it around the base of jisungs length.

he doesn't expect jisung to be as sensitive as he's coming across, but his back arches a little when chenle strokes up and a shallow moan leaves his lips, chenle wonders how he ever would've coped if he had to do this himself like chenle had originally anticipated.

he strokes jisung lightly, the hand in his thigh digging in harder, but he doesn't mind. chenle finds himself having to shift quite a bit, because he's only getting harder as every second passes, and he worries that it'll weird jisung out.

"faster," jisung mutters, and chenle scoffs at the word, but he listens, speeding up his pace, watching jisungs mouth widen and face turn redder, he listens to the little noises escaping jisungs throat, and he watches jisungs body react- chenle is stupid to say this, but jisung is extremely hot.

"fuck, i'm gonna cum soon, le." he then says, and chenle can't help the smile that spreads across his face or the excitement building up inside him, and he nods. "get on top of me," chenle practically begs, and jisung nods, sitting up and pushing chenle to lay his back, actively swapping their places like he's worried the feeling will go away if he takes too long.

now, jisung is sat on top of chenles thighs instead, and his own hand covers chenles on his dick, practically forcing chenles hand to speed up. chenle wants to watch jisungs face, the gorgeous expression of lust displayed across it, but instead his eyes focus on jisungs dick, more specifically the tip of his dick, and he feels pleasure rise in his own body as he watches an excessive amount of precum leak from jisungs dick as he gets closer and closer to his orgasm.

"fuck," jisung breathes, his grip on chenles hand tightening as he thrusts harder, and he falls forward, his other hand lands next to chenles head to hold himself up. then, the best thing chenles ever sees in his life happens as jisung moans and his body shudders; he starts to cum.

chenle watches with genuine admiration, the sheer amount of it is astonishing. chenles stomach tenses when he feels the liquid land on it, he thinks (and hopes) it'll never end. jisung just keeps cumming, and cumming, the liquid seeps into his belly button and falls down his sides, until almost his entire stomach is covered.

then, unexpectedly, he orgasms himself. his own body shudders and he lets out a moan, pressing his eyes closed as he cums into his underwear, completely untouched just from watching jisung cum. "shit," chenle says, by the time his orgasm is over, jisungs is too, and he's sat back against chenles thighs, looking at him bewildered.

"did you just-" he asks, chenle feels his face heat up as he swallows. "fuck, yeah.. sorry." chenle says, but he doesn't dwell on it for too long, instead he looks down at his stomach which is covered in jisungs warm, thick cum and he swears he nearly orgasms again.

his hand moves without even thinking, pressing down into his stomach, letting his fingers get covered in the substance for the second time in his life. "stop, that's gross." jisung complains, grabbing chenles wrist to try stop the boy from playing with the cum.

"have you ever tasted it?" chenle asks, watching it seep off his fingers and back down to land in the puddles on his stomach. "w-what?" jisung asks, his face red and eyes wide. "this, have you ever tasted it?" he asks, showing jisung the cum covering his hand.

jisung gives him a look like he's crazy and shakes his head, and because chenle's not thinking properly, he brings his fingers up to his mouth, licking the cum off of them. "oh my god-" jisung says, breath hitched in his throat. "you taste so good," chenle hums, sucking lightly on his fingers and looking up at jisung.

shock is written all over jisungs face as he watches, chenle feels him starting to get hard again at the sight, but chenle was already hard again the second he tasted jisungs cum. "try it," chenle says, he watches jisungs eyes widen and eyebrows raise. "fuck off," he says, but chenle just shakes his head, coating his fingers again and bringing them up to jisungs face.

"seriously, try it!" he says, jisung shakes his head, grabbing chenles wrist again to stop the boy from moving his hand any closer towards jisungs mouth. "i'm not licking my own cum off your fingers, chenle." he states, his tone serious, chenle just pouts.

he wants jisung to taste it, because it's the best thing he's ever tasted in his entire life. better than anyone else's, better than his own. "your loss." he says, shrugging, letting his hand fall against the bed next to him.

jisung stares at him silently like he doesn't know what to do or say now, and chenles coming down from his own high, so he finds himself in the same situation of not knowing exactly how to move on from here.

"are you happy now?" jisung asks, gesturing to the mess he's made, and chenle nods. "i'm probably going to crave this everyday for the rest of my life." he says, which makes jisung scoff lightly, "you're the strangest person i've ever met." he says, sighing, slinging his leg around chenles body to get off of him.

he sits down on the bed next to chenle, finding his boxers and pulling them back up his legs. "thanks, by the way." chenle says, and jisung nods at him. "you're welcome." he says back, letting out a breath. "you should go shower.." he then says. chenle sighs, "i really don't want to." he complains, jisung lets out a chuckle. "weirdo." chenle nods along to the word, because he's absolutely obsessed.

Chapter Text

things between jisung and chenle didn't change after what happened like they both worried it would, kind of. chenle only found himself more obsessed with jisung and his hyperspermia now that he'd seen in happen in person.

it’s kind of ridiculous- he thought seeing it once would make the feeling fade, but instead, it only made him want it more. he hadn't told jaemin about the newfound secret between him and jisung yet, though he knew jaemin was itching to find out.

anyway, by "kind of," he meant how close he and jisung had become again. chenle found himself wanting to be near jisung all the time: trailing him around the dorm, chatting nonstop about anything and everything, hanging out in his room, or curling up beside him on the couch.

and it wasn’t like jisung minded. in fact, jisung was glad their bond hadn’t changed for the worse. though deep down, he secretly worried this closeness might awaken something more in chenle, a fear he would soon realize was true.

with both jisung and jeno out of the dorm, chenle figures it’s the perfect time to update jaemin. a few days have passed since that moment with jisung when chenle knocks on jaemins door, hearing jaemin call out for him to come in. as jaemins eyes land on chenle, a knowing smirk spreads across his face, full of excitement.

"are you here to tell me good news?" jaemin asks, causing chenle to scoff as he shuts the door behind him. "you mean if jisung came on me?" chenle replies, walking over to join jaemin on his bed, and jaemin nods aggressively.

"yeah, i jerked him off and he came on my stomach." chenle confesses bluntly, he listens to jaemin dramatically gasp. "okay, you can't tell me that nothing is going on between you guys now." he says, but chenle just shrugs lightly. "there's nothing," he says, pursing his lips as jaemin gives him a disbelieving look. "seriously! nothing's changed, we're still just friends." he adds, he watches jaemin raise an disbelieving eyebrow at him.

"okay, okay. i’m just glad it’s not weird like you were worried it would be,” jaemin says, and chenle nods in agreement. "me too. i honestly thought it would be. i mean, everyone saw how he ignored me for almost a whole week after i told him," chenle admits with a sigh.

"god, i'm so jealous," jaemin says, and chenle tilts his head, curious. "i wish i could just ask jeno things like that and have it not be weird," jaemin adds. chenle shrugs lightly. "well, if it worked for me, maybe it could work for you," he suggests. but jaemin just shakes his head.

"jeno's different from jisung. plus, i could never get the courage to ask him," jaemin replies with a sigh. chenle pokes his tongue against the side of his cheek. "i want it again," he blurts out, hearing jaemin scoff at the sudden change of topic.

"then ask him?" jaemin says like it's that simple, and chenle pouts. "i dunno, i feel like he's not going to want to do it again." chenle says, sighing, and jaemin shrugs. "i hate to sound like a broken record here, chenle, but just ask him. it's not like it's going to be anything new for him to hear." he says, and chenle knows he's right.

but still, it's not like they agreed for this to be a regular thing. when chenle finally got up to shower, he came back to his room to find jisung had already disappeared, and they never talked about it again. in his own defense, he did tell jisung that he'd probably crave it everyday for the rest of his life- if jisung took that as a joke, then that's his own fault.

"i don’t even know why i’m so scared to ask," chenle admits. "when this all started, i'd just walk up to him and say what i wanted. but now that it’s actually happened, it feels different." jaemin nods, understanding. "it’s one thing to say things, but another to actually do them, i guess." chenle pouts, feeling the weight of that truth.

he sits there for a moment thinking; maybe jaemin is right. jisung agreed once before, so what harm would it do in asking for it again? it's not like it'll come as a shock, if anything jisung will just tell him to go away and stop asking him, or he'll agree; chenle is sure he can handle both possibilities.

"i'm gonna ask him when he gets home," chenle says, nodding with determination. it’s not the end of the world to just ask, right? "proud of you," jaemin jokes, and chenle stands up, smiling with hands on his hips.

"hey, while we're at it," chenle adds, making jaemin raise a curious eyebrow. "i really think jeno would say yes if you just asked," chenle says with a shrug. jaemin tsks, waving a hand dismissively. "not interested," he lies. chenle laughs softly, nods, and leaves jaemin to himself. then chenle finds himself nearly drifting off under jisung's covers, waiting for the raven to get home. by the time jisung opens his door, chenle's eyes are closed, mouth slightly open, soft snores escaping.

"chenle?" jisung calls, sighing softly as he walks over to his bed which is now claimed by the smaller boy. chenle jolts awake at the sound of his name, blinking up at jisungs disapproving gaze. "you do have your own bed, you know," jisung says, but chenle just whines, pulling jisungs black duvet tighter around himself.

"i wanted to talk to you, but you took too long," chenle mumbles with a yawn. jisung shakes his head, gently nudging chenle to the other side of the bed so he can sit on the edge.

jisungs wearing a black singlet with grey sweatpants, his hair is messy and damp, and his skin is glistening with sweat- chenle realizes that he's been at the gym. "what do you want? i need to shower." jisung says, running his hand through his hair, chenle bites his lip. maybe he's obsessed with just more than cum, because the sweat on jisungs skin is literally begging to be licked.

"um," chenle says, slightly distracted from his previous mission, even though what's clouding his mind is exactly what his mission entails. "would you ever want to, like, do it again?" chenle says, he watches jisungs body freeze.

it takes a moment for jisungs brain to catch up, then he glances over at chenle, still curled comfortably in his bed. "are you serious?" he asks, and chenle shrugs, bracing himself for a no.

"if you want," he mutters, pulling the blanket over his face. "i thought it was just going to be a one time thing, le." jisung tells him, and chenle sighs, rolling over to face away from jisung. "i did too, but... i don't know, sorry." chenle says, feeling disappointment cloud through him.

if jisung says no, then he'll leave it alone. for real this time, he'll drop the topic and go back to living how they used to before he found out about jisungs hyperspermia; he was fine before this, he'll be fine again.

"i just want to understand what this is going to look like, chenle." jisung says, chenle furrows his eyebrows, pulling himself up to sit up and look over at him. "what do you mean?" he asks, jisung sighs, turning around to properly face chenle.

"just, this is because of your kink, right? i mean, you don't have feelings for me or anything?" he asks, chenle picks at the skin around his nails. "yeah," he says simply, because he's not really sure what else to say- he doesn't want jisung to think he's just using him for it, either.

"and would this be a reoccurring thing?" he then asks, and chenle shrugs. "if you were okay with that." he says, because honestly, he already knows that he's just going to keep wanting this. maybe there's something laced in jisungs cum, because chenles starting to feel like it's some drug he's becoming addicted to.

"would it just be like it was the other night? just shit like handjobs or whatever?" jisung then asks, and chenle finds himself shrugging again, clearing his throat before he speaks. "depends.." he says, jisung tilts his head and furrows his eyebrows. "depends on what?" he replies, chenle swallows as he looks up at him.

"depends on what you're okay with, i guess," chenle replies softly. jisung scoffs, and chenle looks over at him. "what about what you’re okay with?" jisung asks. chenle closes his eyes briefly, then says, "well, i kind of want everything, so..." jisung shakes his head, takes a deep breath like he can't quite believe it.

"what do i get out of this?" he asks, and chenle shrugs. "you get to give your right hand a break." he jokes, jisung lets out an amused sound. "that's stupid." he argues, chenle frowns, "it's not. if you're horny then just come to me, that's what you get out of it." he argues back, jisung sighs quietly.

"so you want to be fuck buddies?" jisung asks, raising an eyebrow. chenle shakes his head, not liking how that sounds. "friends with benefits," he corrects quietly, jisung chuckles softly. "that’s literally the same thing," he says with a playful tsks.

"it's not, fuck buddies have nothing to do with each other except sex. friends with benefits are friends who have sex." chenle clarifies, he watches as jisung turns away from him, running a hand through his hair again. "you're insane." he mutters.

chenle sits quietly, letting jisung mull over the idea. he hears jisung inhale deeply, then shifts slightly before meeting chenles gaze again. "okay," jisung says finally, "let’s be friends with benefits." chenle nearly jumps out of bed, his excitement barely contained.

he has jisungs cum in the damn palm of his hands, ready for him whenever he wants- he's not sure there's anything better in this entire world. "good, let me suck your dick." chenle says, going to move around jisung but the man blocks chenle with his arm.

"jesus, chenle." he says, shock present in his voice like he wasn't expecting chenle to just get right into it. "what? you agreed, didn't you?" chenle fights back, jisung laughs in his face. "yeah, but i just got back from the gym, i need to shower." he says, chenle just shakes his head.

"no, i want it now." he complains, but jisung shakes his head again. "i'm all sweaty and gross," he says back, but chenle shrugs with a smile on his face. "even better." he tells jisung, who's expression forms into one of disgust.

"wait," jisung says, shaking his hand in front of chenle, "i've never cum in someones mouth before," he says like it's a valid argument, but chenle just gives him a look that says "are you serious?", because he literally watched chenle willingly eat his cum in front of him only a few nights ago.

"there’s a first time for everything, jisung," chenle counters, fighting back a smile. jisung sighs softly, shifting his arm away from blocking chenle’s movement. chenle seizes the moment, sliding off the bed to kneel in front of jisung.

"it's gonna go all over your face," jisung adds, chenles not sure if he's trying to warn him, but it's not like he cares. "good." chenle says, and jisung groans at him. "this is disgusting." jisung says, and chenle shrugs innocently, "i like disgusting." he says back, he watches jisung nod. "i'm aware," he mutters, shifting slightly on the bed.

"you really want this? i can just shower quickly and you can do it after," jisung says, but chenle shakes his head lightly. "please?" he whispers, hands finding their way to rest on jisungs thighs, he watches jisung close his eyes and take a breath, before clearing his throat and nodding. "yeah, go for it." he says, watching chenle smirk happily.

chenle doesn't waste a second before his hands are on jisung waistband, looking up at him for any displeasure, he only sees a look that's either just complete bewilderment or disgust about chenle wanting this, so he gently tugs.

jisung lifts his hips, letting chenle slide the fabric out from underneath him, sliding it down his legs and off from his ankles. when he looks down at the bulge in jisungs boxers, there's wet patches that chenle can only assume is sweat from working out, and it makes his mouth genuinely salivate.

he considers palming jisung through his boxers again like he did the other night, but truthfully, he just wants the damn thing in his mouth, so he goes to pull down the boxers too, jisungs hand stops him. "wait-" he says, shifting against the bed again. "i'm not hard," he says, and chenle lets out a small wine.

"don't care," he replies, he listens to jisungs shock of disbelief, and chenle wonders why jisung even cares about him seeing his dick when it's not hard- it's not like it makes much of a difference. "oh my god," jisung whispers, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back. "do what you want, then." he says, chenle smiles in accomplishment.

he goes to pull down the boxers again, and this time, jisung lifts his hips, allowing chenle to pull them off. chenle pushes jisungs legs further apart, sliding himself in closer, licking his lips as he eyes up jisungs dick.

he lets his fingers wrap around it, tugging lightly, watching intently as it begins to twitch in his hand. he listens to jisungs breathing start to speed up, and just because he's curious how jisung would react, he leans down, letting the tip of his tongue gently lick jisungs tip.

the man responds by gripping chenles shoulder and taking a deep breath; chenle finds it fun to tease him. he's said it before, but he never would've expected jisung to be this sensitive, it's somewhat funny to him.

he continues teasing jisung with small kitten licks and soft stroking, simply allowing jisung to get more in the mood, and when he's half hard and already leaking precum, chenle looks up at jisung. his face flushes again, and when chenle pauses his hand, jisung opens his eyes, looking down at him.

with eyes met, chenle leans down, mouth wide as he allows jisungs tip to enter his mouth, resting lightly against his tongue- jisung lets out a shaky breath, his hand moving from chenles shoulder around to the back of his neck.

chenle smirks a little before closing his mouth around jisungs tip, sucking lightly and humming against it as the salty taste of jisungs precum seeps into his tongue, he hears jisung let out a breath above him.

then, he sinks his head down, allowing jisung to fill his mouth, until he feels the tip hit the back of his throat. the taste of not only precum, but sweat fills his mouth and it causes him to stupidly moan around jisungs dick. it's weird just how good jisung tastes to him, like, it shouldn't be like this.

jisung shudders slightly at the vibrations of chenles moan, his hand sinking into chenles hair, but chenle moves back, coming up and pulling away completely with a pop sound, a small amount of saliva following behind. he looks up at jisung when he pulls away, who's already looking down at him with raised eyebrows.

"you taste really good," chenle confesses, jisung lets out a shaky breath. "shut up," he mumbles back, clearly embarrassed by chenles words. "no, seriously," chenle says, "like really good." he says, looking back down at jisungs dick- he already wants it back in his mouth.

"stop being weird," jisung tells him, and chenle swallows, ignoring the man and instead wrapping his hand around the base of jisung dick, leaning down to lick up the underside of jisungs dick until he reaches the tip, which he wraps his mouth around and pushes his head forward until it hits the back of his throat again, then pulls back- this time he doesn't let jisung leave his mouth, instead, he thrusts his head right back down.

"fuck," he hears jisung moan above him as he continues to suck him off, and eventually, jisungs hand tightens in chenles hair, using it as leverage to control the speed. chenle lets him, because he finds it hot to let jisung use his mouth to fuck as he wants.

it's insane the amount of precum that's leaking from jisung, so much that it starts to flow out of his mouth and down his chin as he continues to suck jisung off, and it only gets him more excited for the real thing.

"i'm getting close," jisung mutters after a while, and chenle has to hold back a squeal, so instead, he hums around jisungs dick, only working his mouth harder, licking and sucking him in all the places that make jisung shudder and let out breathy sounds.

then, he feels jisung tense, his hand grips chenles hair harder and his other hand flies to grab chenles shoulder again, and chenle pulls back so his mouth is around his tip. hot cum starts to fill his mouth, everything inside him buzzes, electric and warm, like his soul had just taken its first breath. chenle shifts on his knees and lets out a pleased noise, sucking onto jisungs tip harder in an attempt to not let any of it leave his mouth, but it keeps coming.

so quick in a way that shouldn't be possible, his entire mouth is full and it's starting to seep out the sides, so he pulls back before he starts to choke, but jisungs is still cumming. jisungs body is quivering and his breathing is unsteady, the cum lands all over chenles face.

chenle, sadly to nobody but him, has to close his eyes so it doesn't get in them, and he feels a tensing feeling in his own stomach as he holds jisungs cum in his mouth and feels the warmth spread all over his face. he finds it somewhat ridiculous, but he's orgasming untouched for the second time in his life just from being came on.

"shit," jisung says after the entire minute of his cumming, chenle opens an eye to look up at him when he hears the word and the shocked expression on jisungs face would make him laugh if his entire mouth wasn't full of cum.

"spit that out, chenle, i swear to god," he says in a panic, moving forward and holding his hand out like a parent would when they want their child to spit something into their hand, and chenle considers it for a second, but instead he shakes his head and swallows some of it. it feels so good going down his throat that he lets out a little moan, then he opens his mouth and pushes out his tongue, showing jisung the rest of the cum that's still in his mouth.

he watches jisungs face deepen to a darker shade of red at the provocative move, and jisung clears his throat before murmuring, “god, it’s all over your face..” jisung leans forward, trying to wipe it away, unaware that this only fuels chenle’s excitement even more.

"i want you to try it," chenle says again, swallowing more of the cum that's still in his mouth. jisung shakes his head immediately, pushing chenle away by the shoulder when he tries to move closer. "stop, i'm not trying it." he complains, and chenle pouts sadly.

the man doesn't even know just how good his own cum tastes, and that genuinely upsets chenle. he wants him to try it, so he smears some that was on his cheek down to his lips, spreading it like it's some sort of lip balm, and looks back up at jisung with a smile.

"kiss me," chenle says, he watches jisungs eyes widen and his face heats up again. jisung doesn't reply immediately, he just stares at chenle like he's absolutely crazy. "really?" he asks, and chenle nods sweetly, hoping that jisung does (only because he wants jisung to taste his own cum).

then, jisung leans down to him, and chenle pushes up so he's standing on his knees properly, and jisungs lips are on his- and if this was all that it takes to get jisung to taste his cum, he would've done it sooner.

jisungs tongue swipes lightly over his lips, eager to push past, and chenle welcomes him by parting his mouth. jisungs tongue presses messily against chenles, their lips moving unevenly, but chenles just glad jisung finally gave in to his ridiculous request.

he feels jisung hum softly against his lips, and just as jisung tries to pull him closer, chenle panics, pulling away and breaking their kiss before things get too intense. jisung clears his throat afterward, wiping at his lips.

there's some cum on his face now from where it clearly transferred from chenle to him, and it makes chenle snort a little. "good, right?" chenle asks cheekily, trying to play casual; he can't read the expression on jisungs face. "if you say so," he agrees, grimacing slightly before turning his face away and running a hand through his hair.

chenle giggles like he’s just won the lottery, and jisung shakes his head with a smile. “go away now,” jisung says. chenle scrunches his face. “get me some wet wipes first,” he fires back. jisung just nods, pulling his boxers back up before heading out to grab the wipes from the bathroom quicker than chenle expected. left alone, chenle lets out a deep, shaky breath, trying to process whatever the hell just happened.

when jisung is in the bathroom, he finds his hands clutched against the basin, trying to even out his breathing. he should've never agreed to this, it's not like he doesn't want it, but he knows it's only going to make things worse for him. he looks up at his reflection, his hair still messy from the gym, his face is flushed red, and there's a bit of cum on his cheek and chin.

he sighs at himself, flicking on the tap and letting the water run into his hands, splashing it on his face, not only to wipe his own stupid cum off, but to try and clear his mind before he has to go back and face chenle again.

after a much-needed shower, chenle heads to the kitchen to update jaemin again, his second check in of the day. he finds jaemin and jeno cooking dinner together. "hey, chenle," jaemin says, glancing up with a smile. chenle returns it.

"wanna help make dinner?" jaemin asks. chenle shakes his head and settles onto a barstool instead. "is it nearly ready?" he asks, resting his chin on his hand as he watches jeno pass by jaemin with a casual hand resting on his waist.

"uh- like ten more minutes," jaemin replies, distracted by jeno's move. chenle scoffs quietly at the scene. "let’s talk after dinner,” chenle says, and jaemin hums softly in agreement. chenle decides to leave the two oblivious lovebirds to their cooking and heads to the couch, scrolling through twitter as he waits.

"you wanted to talk?" jaemin asks about twenty minutes later, sitting down beside chenle and handing him a plate piled with food. chenle accepts it gratefully, settling it on his lap as he nods. "i just wanted to give you an update," he says, picking up his chopsticks and shoveling some food into his mouth.

jaemin nods, curling up excitedly on the other side of the couch. "you talked to him?" he asks, and chenle bites his lip lightly, recalling the conversation with jisung. "we agreed to be friends with benefits," chenle says, watching jaemins eyes widen, clearly not what he expected.

"seriously?!" he says, chenle nods. "something kinda weird happened though.." he says, he watches jaemin furrow his eyebrows, waiting for chenle to continue speaking. "i sucked his dick just before, right?" chenle says like it's casual, and jaemin lets out a breathy scoff as he nods.

"but then i asked him to kiss me, and it was really weird," chenle admits, making jaemin raise an eyebrow in surprise. "why was it weird?" jaemin asks, curious. chenle shrugs lightly, taking another bite. "i said it kind of as a joke, but then he started pulling me in and trying to kiss me harder. ugh, i don’t know how to explain it, but it just felt off," he says, and jaemin can’t help but laugh.

"how is kissing weird but sucking him off isn't?" jaemin asks, chenle sighs, frowning as he nudges the food around on his plate with his chopsticks. "'cause i feel like there's no point in kissing, right? i thought he’d just give me a quick peck, but he actually took it seriously," he says, catching jaemins unimpressed look.

"i’m pretty sure kissing is kind of something friends with benefits do," jaemin argues, making chenle groan in annoyance. "you don’t get it,” chenle snaps. jaemin just laughs softly, shaking his head. "yeah, i really don’t." chenle frowns, then exhales quietly. "i’m probably just overthinking it."

he reaches for more food while jaemin nods thoughtfully. "god," jaemin sighs, leaning back into the couch with a gentle laugh, "this is so crazy." chenle swallows, feeling the weight of it all.

chenle knows for sure that he's obsessed when later that same night, he wants it again. he was wrong when he said he'd crave this every day for the rest of his life, because it turns out he wants it every second of his life.

it’s bad. really bad. it consumes his thoughts. how good it felt, the taste, the way it slipped down his throat, dripping from his chin. he just needs it. maybe he’s got a problem. he shouldn’t be wanting it this badly, especially after only getting it a few hours ago. but the craving won’t let him forget.

he wants it again like the first time, to have a container full of it that he can use however he wants, and it makes him think back to when jisung said he can ask if he wants more. but then he wonders, will jisung even want to cum a second time in one day?

chenle rolls over in bed with a low groan, the craving gnawing at him no matter how hard he tries to shake it. he turns on a show, hoping to distract himself, but boredom settles in fast, dulling every scene. then he picks up a book, eyes scanning the words, but none of it sticks. his mind keeps slipping back to jisung.

even scrolling through their own videos, when jisung pops up laughing or smiling with the group, it only makes the ache worse. it just reminds reminder of how much he wants his cum, which in retrospect feels awful, because the jisung on screen is just carefree and happy, while chenle's stuck drowning in desire over him.

with a sigh, he pulls out his phone again, going to open his and jisungs chat.

chenle: are you still awake?

he sends, feeling stupid for even saying it. he should really just leave the poor kid alone.

jisung: i'm gaming

is what jisung responds with, and chenle knows he's insane when he feels a sense of excitement when he realizes jisung is in fact still awake.

chenle: with who?

jisung: dunno just randoms online

even better, chenle thinks.

chenle: u feel like cumming again?

his fingers type and send the message before his brain can even catch up, and just as he tries to delete it in a panic, jisung's already typing back.

jisung: psychopath

he sends and chenle sighs, closing his phone and letting it fall against his chest. he's going to take that as a no, but then his phone vibrates again.

jisung: it starts to hurt if i do it too much

the text reads, and chenle finds himself smirking because jisung's not saying no because he doesn't want to, he's only saying no because his body can't handle it. chenle can deal with that, he's sure he can survive one night without jisungs cum, and when jisung is regenerated tomorrow, he'll bother him again about it.

that doesn't mean he's happy about it though, he'll probably end up jerking himself off with an unsatisfying edge in his stomach, probably doing some shit like sucking on his fingers and imagining they're covered in jisungs cum.

jisung: i can send u an old vid if u want tho

okay, scratch that, he's happy again. still, it makes him somewhat disappointed that he doesn't physically have jisungs cum, but he's a-okay with this compromise.

chenle: that works :3

he sends, feeling giddy in his stomach at the thought of watching jisung cum again. he pushes another thought that suddenly arises in his mind; what's the difference between watching porn videos of hyperspermia versus watching jisungs hyperspermia?

sure, when it's in person, it's different. but this is just a video, any other video is exactly the same and should bring him the same pleasure. so why does the thought of watching a stranger cum sound so much worse in comparison?

again, he pushes it to the back of his head, because that's not for him to worry about right now, right now he's excited.

jisung: i'll send it on snap

chenle doesn't waste a second before switching to snap, and he's there before jisung is because he doesn't see jisungs bitmoji in their chat yet; his enthusiasm is kind of embarrassing. in only a couple of seconds though, jisung joins the chat, and in only a few more seconds, a video gets sent.

the thumbnail doesn't show anything provocative, just a shot of the shorts jisung was wearing on the day it was filmed and his knees that are folded up as, chenle presumes, he lays on his bed. he looks at the time stamp in the bottom corner, the video is around a five minute mark- his head spins in anticipation.

chenle: thanks :p

he watches as jisung reacts to his message with the thumbs up bitmoji reaction before disappearing from the chat and it makes him scoff lightly. he has so many questions about the video, like, when did jisung record this? did he record it for someone? has he ever sent it to anyone else?

but then chenle also realizes it's absolutely none of his business, so, he clears his mind and presses onto the video.

the video starts with the camera shifting a little, clearly jisung just trying to get comfortable and adjust the angle. then, his hand moves to his shorts, palming himself lightly through the fabric, chenle feels his mouth go dry as he watches.

this is different. it feels weird to be watching like this, like it's overstepping a boundary. both times he'd done things with jisung, he'd be the one to get him off, he'd never watched jisung get himself off; now, he's watching through a screen, behind a closed door and he feels like a complete pervert.

chenle then realizes that the video isn't muted either when he hears the quiet noise of a shaky breath, he immediately turns up his volume before he can think too much about it. the on screen version of jisung continues to palm himself for a little longer, his hips shifting like he's impatient, his breathing getting louder as he continues.

chenle recognizes the background as jisungs room in the dorm, the same furniture, the same setup. that means the video is pretty recent. he remembers a few months ago when jisung had completely rearranged his room on a whim out of boredom.

when the video hits the 40 second mark, chenle watches as jisungs hand moves to his waistband, tugging at the fabric. he watches jisungs dick spring out and hit his stomach as the shorts pass down to his thighs, and his tip is already leaking profoundly, chenle wonders if he was already masturbating prior to when he started recording.

chenle swallows as he watches, he feels himself start to grow harder in his own pants. then, jisungs hand wraps around his cock, and he immediately goes to tugging himself faster than chenle has ever done to him, maybe impatient, or maybe that's just how he likes it.

it makes chenle think about if they ever have sex one day and just how hard and fast jisung would thrust into him, he pulls his own knees closer towards himself as his eyes fix onto the video.

jisung pants heavily through his phones speakers, his hips bucking up into his hand, the movements getting sloppier and sloppier as more precum spills out, making his dick more slippery, but he watches as jisung just grips onto himself harder in response.

chenle doesn’t know when or how it happened, but his hand is resting on his own stomach, fingers tracing lightly over the fabric where his dick presses through his sweatpants. he swallows, a sudden, aching urge rising in him of wanting to touch himself just like jisung is in the video.

gaspy moans start to slip out of jisungs mouth, and the camera starts to shake a little like he's having trouble keeping the phone up; chenle can't help it, he slips his hand down his sweatpants and past his underwear, gripping onto his own dick.

he tugs himself lightly, completely out of pace compared to how jisung is in the video, he feels his face start to go red as he continues watching. "fuck, fuck-" jisung mutters through his phone, his hips bucking up again to fuck into his hand, chenle wishes he could see his face.

he also wishes jisung would act like this with him, seemingly completely driven by pleasure, giving it his all like he'd die if he didn't. chenle's own hand speeds up as he watches, he tries to match jisungs pace, but it just makes him whine uncomfortably- he doesn't know how jisungs doing it, it's too fast for him, it makes his head cloud and his eyes roll back, but that's not what he wants right now.

he wants to continue watching jisung, he wants to watch him cum, so, he slows his hand back down, and settles his eyes back on the video.

the video is starting to approach the end, jisungs thrusts are only getting sloppier and sloppier, his hand slipping here and there, until his body lifts from the bed, he lets out an indescribable noise, and he's cumming everywhere.

by everywhere, chenle literally means everywhere. his entire hand that continues to stroke himself through his orgasm gets absolutely covered in the white substance, it goes all over his stomach, some even reaching up to the shirt that he pulled up, and even going on the bed sheets around him.

what gets chenle, though, is when some of it lands on the camera of jisungs phone. jisung mutters a quick shit through his speakers, clearly worried about his phone, but chenle ignores it and drops his own phone as he strokes himself harder.

his head hits his pillow behind him, his eyes roll back, letting what he'd just seen replay in his head over and over until his stomach twists and he's cumming into his own hand. he huffs when his orgasm finishes, his hand stills where it is around his cock and he blinks up at his ceiling.

"holy shit," he mutters, the video still replays in his mind. honestly, he gets it now. jisung is better than anything he could ever find on the internet, all those hyperspermia videos he has booked marked on his private twitter account could never compare; not even in the slightest.

he pulls his hand out of his pants, scrambling to pick back up his phone, watching as jisung palms himself through his shorts again; the video's replayed, but chenle doesn't care. he exits the video and saves it in the chat, swallowing as he turns his phone off, dropping it back onto the bed again.

chenle genuinely wants to hang out with jisung when he wakes up the next day. it's the weekend so they don't have any schedules planned, and at the end of the day, jisung is still his best friend. when he knocks on the door to jisungs room though, he doesn't get a response.

hesitating for a moment, chenle opens the door himself, half-expecting jisung to be asleep. but it’s past midday, and jisung is never usually asleep this late. the room is empty. he searches the dorm next, calling out softly, but the raven is nowhere to be found.

he pulls out his phone and sends a quick "where are you?" text to jisung, then finds himself walking back toward jisungs room. he decides he’ll just wait there until jisung gets home. his phone buzzes almost immediately with a reply: "at the gym." chenle groans, irritation bubbling up.

that’s something jisungs been doing a lot more than usual lately, chenle thinks with a sigh. he sets his phone down and curls back under jisungs sheets, the familiar warmth spreading over him, coaxing his eyes to close.

this time, when jisung gets home and finds chenle sleeping in his bed, he doesn’t rush to wake him. jisung sighs softly, peeling his shirt off over his head- he knows he should shower, but chenle looks so cozy, so peaceful, and it’s not like it’s a crime to get into his own bed sweaty. so, quietly, jisung slips over to where chenle lies and slides under the covers beside him, careful not to wake him.

he must wake chenle when he gets into the bed, because he hears chenle whine quietly. "you're back," chenle states in a tired voice, curling up to jisungs side. "yeah," jisung replies in an equally quiet voice, throwing his arm around chenles waist, pulling the boy closer to him.

chenles face is pressed against jisungs chest now, their legs tangled together, and jisung goes to close his eyes and relax until he hears, or more feels, chenle push his nose further into his chest, sniffing lightly.

"why're you smelling me?" jisung teases, looking down at chenle but he meets with the brunette tuff of the top of chenles head. "have you showered yet?" chenle asks, his voice still clearly laced with sleep. jisung clears his throat, "uh, no.. do you want me to?" he asks, but chenle just shakes his head, pushing his nose further into jisung.

"no, i like you like this." chenle says, pushing his leg further between jisungs in a way that should be innocent, if not for the fact that chenle is literally hard against his thigh. "what're you doing?" jisung asks, his hand moving down to grip against chenles hip.

"sorry, i can't help it.." chenle mumbles, shifting slightly against jisungs thigh and letting out a quiet breath. jisungs face heats up, he shouldn't have gotten into bed next to chenle like this. he forgot that the kid is literally insane.

"no, it's fine.." jisung finds himself replying anyway, swallowing lightly as chenle shifts his hips again, presumably wanting to get himself off against jisungs thigh. the thought of it makes jisung start to get hard himself, because this would be the first time he's seen chenle actually getting himself off without just cumming randomly in his pants.

"you can do it if you want," jisung says, maybe just because he's selfish, but chenle lets out a whine in response, shifting slightly against jisungs thigh again. "really?" he asks, even though he's literally in the process of lightly grinding against jisung anyway, and jisung nods, muttering a quiet "yeah."

with the confirmation, chenle shifts himself even closer to jisung, and starts to grind down against jisungs thigh with more pressure. his eyes are still closed from being tired, and his brain hasn't fully woken up yet, but jisung smells so so good and he can't help himself.

jisung knows his face, neck and ears are all red as he holds chenles hip, listening to the boys breathing become heavier and heavier as he continues to grind against jisungs thigh, it only makes him harder too.

he can't hold it back anymore, and finds his hand moving to the waistband of chenle shorts, the boys movements don't still, so he whispers "can i do something?" to which chenle whines, grinding harder and muttering a breathy "yeah,".

without any further word, jisung moves his leg back slightly so he can pull chenles shorts down, then, quickly so he's not leaving chenle displeased for too long, he tugs at his own sweatpants, pulling them down too.

then, he shifts forward again, pressing their dicks flushed together. chenle opens his eyes finally and lets out a gasp like he hadn't expected it, but he doesn't even have time to say a word before jisung wraps his hand around both of their dicks, jerking them off together.

"oh," chenle gasps, thrusting lightly against jisungs dick, he hears jisung choke back a small noise. "is this okay?" he asks, chenle immediately nods, pressing even closer to jisung, he feels the man wrap his hand tighter around them.

he feels jisung start to leak, his own dick starting to get wet from the other mans precum, but somehow, it's not about that right now. he doesn't focus on jisungs precum or the way it's getting both their dicks wet, causing jisungs hand to get sloppier in it's movements.

it's feels different as he presses his head further into jisungs chest, letting out matching gasps and whines with the raven as his pace speeds up- not quite like how it was in the video, but still faster than chenle's used to, he swears his head spins.

maybe it's different because there's a blanket covering them both and he can't exactly see what's going on, but his brain is just more focused on being close to jisung, more focused on the fact that jisung is jerking them off together, and how fucking good it feels.

jisung starts to thrust lightly against chenles cock as he continues to jerk them off in a way that chenle thinks is simply because he can't help it, he feels that all too familiar feeling start to swell in his stomach.

"i'm gonna cum, jisung." chenle says through a gasp, his hand gripping at jisungs waist, the man seemingly moans at the words before muttering a "wait,", speeding his hand up in a way that doesn't help chenles case, but he tries to listen to what jisung said and hold off.

then, after a few more seconds of quick, overwhelming thrusting, jisung takes in a breath and whispers "fuck, okay." and chenle grinds up quickly, letting the feeling take over as he rolls his eyes back, cumming into jisungs hand.

jisung follows suit pretty much right after, pressing his face into chenles hair as his hips thrust, once again, cumming everywhere, moaning into chenles hair. both of their clothes are completely ruined, as well as the bedsheets, and they puff into each other as they come down.

jisungs free hand finds its way into chenles hair, combing his fingers gently through it as he breathes heavily, chenles stomach twists in a way that's not from pleasure, but instead a feeling he can't quite explain.

"i actually just wanted to hang out with you, you know," chenle mumbles into jisungs chest through a breathe, and jisung chuckles above him. chenle feels the way his chest moves when he laughs, and he presses his face closer because he feels his cheeks turn a tinge of red.

"i don't believe you." jisung teases back, letting his head fall slack against the pillow as he continues to comb chenles hair. "i'm serious! it's your fault getting in bed next to me like that." chenle says with a sigh, relaxing closer into jisung.

jisung scoffs at the words, but he doesn't fight it. "stop getting closer to me, we need to shower." jisung complains, moving his hand that's still under the bedsheets, seemingly trying to wipe the cum off but it doesn't really work. "too lazy," chenle replies, eyes closed like he's about to fall asleep again.

"go shower, we can cuddle again after." jisung tells him, in response, chenle moves away from jisung, kicking his legs in complaint with a groan. "you suck balls." chenle says, jisung finds the insult amusing. he watches chenle crawl out from under the sheets, complaining again when he sees how he's absolutely covered in cum, and drags his feet out of the room to shower (not without one of jisungs hoodies & a pair of his boxers to change into).

jisung showers too, and while chenle’s still in the shower, jisung finds himself stripping the bed completely, shamefully stuffing the sheets into the washer. he changes the sheets, then gets greeted by a grumpy chenle wearing his clothes, as he slips back under the freshly made bed.

that night, another presence appears at jaemins door, this time, it's not chenle.

"i'm so fucked," jisung mutters as he pushes through the slightly open door to jaemin and jenos room. both boys look up, surprised by his sudden entrance, but jisung just drops down on the floor in the middle of the room, a deep frown on his face.

"hello?" jaemin says, shocked. he and jeno exchange glances. "jaemin, i need to talk to you,” jisung says, locking eyes with him. jaemin raises a suspicious eyebrow. "do i need to leave again?" jeno asks, already rising from his bed. jaemin gives a sympathetic look.

"probably,” he replies, and jeno sighs, slipping out and closing the door behind him. "what's wrong?" jaemin asks, sitting up. jisung exhales heavily. "i know chenle's been telling you everything,” jisung says quietly. jaemins face shifts to surprise.

"oh,” he murmurs. jisung tilts his head slightly. "i overheard you guys talking about it the other night," he adds, giving context. jaemin nods, feeling awkward but not judgmental- he did the same thing once, too.

"that’s awkward," jaemin says with a small laugh, making jisung scoff softly. "he said something about how i kissed him, right?" jisung asks. jaemin nods again, feeling a bit bad for the kid overhearing such personal things. jisung exhales deeply.

"jaemin, i’m in love with him," he admits, the frown deepening. jaemin gasps dramatically. "no fucking way," he says, disbelief clear in his voice. jisung shrugs lightly. "that’s why i keep giving in to him. god, i'm so selfish."

jaemin holds up a hand, needing to go back a few steps. "wait, i'm still processing this," he says, moving closer. "you’re in love with chenle?" jisung nods, pouting slightly. "very much." jaemins jaw drops again. "for how long?"

"since i met him, pretty much,” jisung confesses, biting his cheek nervously. jaemin scoffs loudly. "i’m in shock," jaemin declares. "just help me," jisung pleads. "i don’t know what to do. i don't want to ruin things."

jaemin swallows, thinking carefully. "i honestly don’t know what to suggest, jisung. i don't know how chenle feels about you.” jisung nods, looking down. "can you try to ask him? he seems to trust you enough to talk about this stuff,” jisung asks quietly.

jaemin nods, thinking about it. "i mean, i did mention it once to him, but he said you were just friends. so i don’t really know.” jisung exhales. “i should’ve never agreed to this,” he admits with a sigh.

jisung tries to avoid chenle after that, he really does try. but chenle doesn’t make it easy; he’s always been stubborn, relentless even. jisung knows chenle isn’t stupid, he’s certain the boy felt it too. that sudden, unspoken shift from something purely physical to something much more complicated, something neither of them wants to name.

still, jisung tries to keep some distance, needing it more for himself than anything else. but no matter what, chenle always ends up right where he is, pressed close by his side, ignoring the elephant in every room they walk into.

it’s kind of ridiculous, really. because when they’re apart, something inside jisung feels off, like a puzzle piece missing. he wonders if this whole thing is just some cruel, twisted joke played on him. it's even worse when days pass and chenle doesn't bother him even once about his insane need for jisungs cum.

jisung wonders if it's his own fault, if he ruined it because of what he did, but then again, chenle didn't seem opposed to it, even coming back after his shower to cuddle right back in jisungs side, it makes jisung wonder what's changed.

either way, he can’t handle it anymore.

one night, when most of the members were out of the dorm picking up takeout on the other side of town, jisung found himself standing outside chenles door, focusing on steadying his breathing. truthfully, his mission was simple, to see what chenle would say, whether he’d agree or push jisung away; either way, it might help clear his mind... or so he thought.

not even bothering to knock, jisung twisted the handle and let himself in, quietly shutting and locking the door behind him. chenle had only his dim lamp on, lying on his stomach, wearing nothing but a pair of booty shorts, scrolling aimlessly through tiktok.

jisung swallows lightly as chenle turns curiously at whoever entered, "jisung?" he asks, not bothering to move or cover himself. jisung has to take a deep breath, forcing himself to ignore the warm flush creeping up his cheeks.

"i’m going to fuck you," jisung declares, staying rooted by the door. chenle drops his phone at the words, pushing himself up to face jisung properly. "what-" he starts, but jisung shakes his head, cutting him off. "right now." he hears chenle’s breath hitch.

"okay," chenle replies softly after a brief hesitation, shifting back on his bed. jisung nods, stepping forward with quiet authority. "i’m not going to be gentle," he adds, closing the distance further. chenle's eyes widen, his legs parting almost on their own as he swallows hard. when jisung reaches the bed, he presses chenle back against the headrest and settles between his legs.

"is that okay?" jisung asks, watching as chenle’s eyelids flutter and his tongue darts out to wet his lips. "yeah," chenle confirms, nodding slightly. "do that." jisung lets out a slow smirk. "good." he moves forward, sliding his hands beneath the waistband of chenles shorts and underwear, pulling them down and off around his ankles before chenle can even react.

jisung watches as chenle’s mouth parts slightly, breath catching. then, in one fluid motion, jisung grips chenle’s waist and flips him over, so he’s on his hands and knees in front of him. chenle gasps at the sudden movement, pressing his forehead into the pillow below.

jisung swallows at the sight in front of him, his hand grabs at one of chenles cheeks, spreading it lightly. he hears chenle whine below him, probably in the embarrassment of jisung looking at him like that, but jisung watches as chenle subconsciously clenches his hole, so clearly he's not complaining much.

"you said your lube was in your drawer?" jisung asks, his hand pulling away from chenles ass as he shifts off the bed, leaving chenle in that vulnerable, provocative position. the scene must look insane from the outside; a fully dressed jisung standing casually next to the bed while chenles bare ass is raised in doggy style, completely exposed.

"yeah," chenle says through a breath, and jisung nods, moving to open and glance through every drawer until his finds it. he also finds other things in that drawer, but his attention gets grabbed by a singular silver buttplug, and it makes him scoff lightly.

"hey," jisung says, pulling it out along with the lube, "let's use this, yeah?" he asks, twirling it between his fingers, he watches chenle turn his head to look at him, before nodding quickly with a whine and cloudy eyes. jisung tsks, closing the drawer with his foot before going to move back behind chenle again.

he throws the buttplug down next to them, and pops open the lid to the half used lube. he takes his time pouring it on his fingers, watching as chenle starts to get impatient in front of him, wiggling his ass as a silent way of telling jisung to hurry up.

so, he does. he spreads one of chenles cheeks again with his free hand, and lets a lube covered finger run teasingly over chenles hole. chenle lets out a shaky breath at the feeling, he feels his neck heat up, so he presses his face further into the pillow below him.

"jisung," chenle whines, jisung ignores him, deciding to tease the boy further by just pressing the tip of his finger in, he hears chenle gasp lightly, before he pulls it right back out, running his finger back up over the hole.

if this is jisungs first and only chance to fuck chenle, he's not putting it to waste. he wants the boy below him to be screaming his name, the only thing in his mind being the need to be fucked. "yeah?" jisung asks in response, circling his finger around chenles hole.

"stop teasing me," he mumbles into the pillow, trying to push back against jisungs finger, but jisung stills his movements with the hand holding his ass. he hums lightly like he's considering it, and without warning, decides to push his finger inside chenle.

the boy below him gasps again, hand clutching at the sheet below him, then goes to hold his breath as jisung teasingly pulls his finger back out. chenle whines as the finger leaves him, but he doesn't get much of a chance to complain before it's pushed right back into him, and he feels his eyes roll back.

it's not even much, a simple finger fucking him way too gently for a man who stated that he wasn't going to be gentle, but chenle already feels absolutely wrecked and he doesn't understand why. either way, he knows he's going to be a mess.

jisungs hand that was gripping his ass moves to his hip, and he gets pulled closer towards jisung, finger still inside of him, and he gasps as jisung twists his finger, unknowingly running it right over his prostate in the process.

"do that again," chenle pleads, jisung raises his eyebrow at the request, twisting his finger slightly and hearing chenle let out another gasp. "oh?" he says, twisting his finger slowly until he hears another noise, then presses hard right into that spot.

chenle lets out a loud moan as jisung presses down, and the raven chuckles lightly at the reaction. "right here?" he asks, dragging his finger lightly over the spot; chenle feels his head spin as he lets out another uncontrollable noise. "mhm," chenle tries to say, but he can't really focus as jisung decides he's going to abuse that exact spot, chenle feels his dick start to leak onto his sheets.

then, right in the heat of it, jisung pulls his finger back out; chenles body collapses slightly in response, but it gets replaced immediately by another finger thrusting into him, he feels his body shake lightly as the two fingers run over his prostate again.

the fingers inside him spread lightly, twisting as they do before they're thrusted further into him, chenle chokes back a moan. "feels good," he finds himself whimper, hands gripping tighter into the sheets, and he wants it to keep going forever and ever, but after a minute or two, jisungs fingers get pulled out of him again.

chenle sobs lightly against his pillow in dissatisfaction, he hears jisung chuckle slightly above him. "shh," jisung tells him, undoing the buckle on his belt, chenle swallows lightly in anticipation, stopping his complaining. jisung doesn't move to take his pants off properly, instead he lets them sit around his thighs, and throws his shirt over his head.

his dick is already hard, dripping and ready to go. he pops open the lube again, pouring some more onto his hand before rubbing it onto his cock, thrusting a few times in his hand as chenle impatiently tries to move towards him again.

"tell me to stop," he says, running his fingers over chenles hole again, spreading some lube onto it before lining himself up. chenle nods with a broken noise, and then, jisung pushes his tip in just a little, letting his own gasp escape at the same time as chenles does, but instead of thrusting forward, he grabs chenles hips, quickly pulling the boy back onto his dick.

chenle lets out a loud, gaspy moan, lifting his head from the pillow as his hands flex open against the sheets, fingers digging in before gripping harshly again. jisung doesn’t give him a moment to catch his breath, he pulls back and thrusts right back into chenle, relentless and urgent.

now chenle really understands what jisung meant by not being gentle. the pace jisung sets is intense, something chenle's definitely not used to. but he’s not complaining. jisung knows exactly what he’s doing, and he's doing it damn well.

he thrusts harder, hands gripping chenles waist tightly enough to leave bruises if he pushed any harder, but jisung doesn't seem to care. he keeps building the rhythm, each thrust harder, deeper, rougher than the last. chenles body jolts with every movement, a soft whimper escaping him as his head spins, lost in the overwhelming rush of pleasure.

chenle rolls his hips back against jisung a few times, almost instinctively, but jisung stills him every time, determined to control the pace of his thrusts. the sounds spilling from chenle are helpless and raw, moans and gasps mingling with saliva that slips from his mouth, pooling on the pillow beneath him.

he tilts his head to the side, eyes fluttering closed and rolling back as jisung drives into him with force. then jisung shifts his grip from chenles waist to his shoulders, pushing down until chenles upper body collapses fully against the bed, completely under his control.

he feels jisung lean over his back, his hot breath against his back as he continues to thrust, rolling over that spot that he quickly learned makes chenles body convulse lightly, and chenle feels his legs shake in a way that makes him unsure if he can hold himself up any longer, but jisung has a sturdy hand holding his waist, and he's not sure jisung would let him fall even if he wanted to.

then, chenle feels a wetness against his back as jisung leans down to kiss him, he gasps as he feels jisung start to suck, leaving behind a hickey on his back. then, he moves to another spot, sucking again, chenle arches his back up to follow jisungs mouth.

"sungie," chenle moans lightly as jisung rolls his hips forward, deliberately beginning to focus solely on chenles prostate as he continues to suck marks in his skin, jisung hums against his back in response. "feels so good," chenle mumbles, voice broken as he speaks.

he feels jisung chuckle lightly against his back, the feeling sending shivers up chenles spine in away that makes him moan again, "yeah?" he asks back, and chenle tries to mumble something like "mhm" but he just lets out another whine.

then, jisungs hand slides around chenles waist, and in one smooth motion, he pulls him upright- back pressed firmly against jisungs chest. the shift makes chenle gasp, his head tilting slightly as jisung continues moving inside him, every thrust sending a shiver down his spine.

jisungs hand moves up to chenles neck, where it grabs at his jaw, tilting his head back to lean against his shoulder. chenles jaw drops in reaction, feeling his body go weak against jisung, closing his eyes and letting more broken moans fall from his lips.

the sheet below him is wet from where he's been leaking, and his dick is so hot and red that he's sure he's going to cum any minute. he feels jisung nestle into the crook of his neck, breath warm against his skin, and then soft, heated kisses begin trailing along his throat, each one sending a spark down his spine.

"don't-" chenle goes to say, but he's interrupted by a moan as jisung rolls his hips a certain way and bites the skin against his neck, "don't leave marks.." he manages to say, because at the end of the day, they're still idols and having hickeys on his neck wouldn't be a very good look- even if they are from one of his members.

"i know," jisung replies, pressing one last kiss to his neck. jisung pulls back, the warmth of his lips lingering on chenles skin. then, with a firm grip, he pushes chenle roughly back down, guiding him until he’s once again pressed into the mattress, right where jisung wants him.

chenle feels a warmth start to spread to his stomach and he drops his head against the pillow again, swallowing the saliva that's building in his mouth. "fuck, i'm close," he whines, but jisung just quickly moves to grab his dick, squeezing lightly at the base as he mutter a "don't."

chenle whines and tries to thrust into jisungs hand, but the grip around him is too tight, so he whines again, feeling his body convulse as he gets closer to his orgasm. "wait for me," jisung says, and chenle tries to nod in response but he can't really focus on anything except the pleasure radiating through his body.

jisungs thrusts speed up even more, chenle feels overstimulation start to build up but he doesn't complain about it, instead, his moans start to get more intense, he genuinely shakes and moans with every thrust, drooling onto his pillow and moving a hand to press against his headboard in attempt to keep himself steady.

"good boy, keep holding," jisung says through a gasp, fucking into chenle like a rabbit, and chenle swears he would've cum there and then if it wasn't for jisungs hand stopping it; the denial rips a scream from his throat, muffled only slightly by the pillow beneath him. it’s raw, desperate, and intense enough to send a shudder through his entire body, every nerve lit with frustrated need. he feels like he's going to die if he doesn't cum soon.

he feels tears start to build up in his eyes, his entire body shaking violently as jisung continues to fuck him, hand still tightly gripped around chenles base. he hears jisung breathing start to get jagged, his thrusts losing it's pace, and finally, his hand lets go from around chenles cock.

chenle cums immediately, his body shakes violently as he does, he feels a warmth spread inside of him at the same time, burying deeper and deeper inside, filling him so nicely. then, jisung pulls out and chenle feels the cum start to escape his hole, rolling down his legs, and in a panic, he moves his hand behind him, pushing his fingers inside himself in a desperate attempt to not let anymore of jisungs cum escape.

he hears jisung scoff softly, a hint of amusement in his tone, it’s almost funny, really, how hard chenle is trying to hold the cum inside him, to keep it all in, when it’s painfully clear that he's seconds away from giving in and collapsing against the bed, completely undone. so, he picks up the buttplug. "move your fingers," jisung says, grabbing onto chenles wrist, and chenle whines as he allows jisung to pull his fingers out.

then, he feels something else push inside him, causing him to moan deeply, and it rests inside him with a pop. he wants to lay down, but jisung holds him up by his waist, and chenle feels his fingers running from around his asshole down the side of his legs, collecting the cum that had escaped.

jisung pulls chenle back up against his body, moving his cum covered hand in front of chenles face. "here," he says, and chenle moans happily at the sight, gladly taking the fingers into his mouth. chenle chokes a little as jisung pushes his fingers down his throat, but he suckles them happily, letting the taste of jisungs cum seep into his taste buds.

his head falls against jisungs shoulder again as he relies on the man to hold him up with his arm around his torso, sucking and licking jisungs fingers until they're completely clean of cum. "that was like a well earned reward," chenle jokes, a little breathless, and jisung lets out a little tsk in response.

gently, jisung lowers chenle onto the mattress, letting him finally melt into the sheets, chest rising and falling as he catches his breath. after a few seconds, jisung collapses beside him, the silence between them heavy but not uncomfortable. “i didn’t know you had that in you,” chenle murmurs eventually, voice low and a little dazed, breathless smile tugs at his lips.

jisung smiles softly, the corners of his mouth tugging up as he rolls onto his side to face chenle who’s already looking at him. "you didn’t ask," jisung replies, voice low and a little smug. his hand drifts up, fingers gently finding the back of chenles neck, brushing through the soft hair at the nape.

"my bad." chenle says with a scoff, closing his eyes. jisung sighs a little, he has no idea how he thought this would help. in fact, it's only made things worse. he leans over to press a gentle kiss against chenles cheek, way too close to his mouth.

he closes his eyes before he lets his head fall back down next to chenles, refusing to even glance at the look in chenles eyes. it’s safer not to look. looking might make it real, and he's not sure if chenle is okay with that.

not even twenty minutes later, the two found themselves reluctantly pulled to the dinner table with the rest of the group, a deep heat burning in both their cheeks. when they heard mark yelling across the dorm for everyone to join, jisung decided to take a quick shower, but chenle chose to do the exact opposite.

which now he kind of regrets, because he's sitting at the dinner table with messy hair, red cheeks, probably smelling like sex and a buttplug holding cum deep in his ass. he shifts awkwardly against his seat, rolling up the sleeves of jisungs oversized black hoodie that he may or may not have stolen from him a while back, moving to pick up his chopsticks.

he barely registers the conversation happening around the table as he digs into his food, and he really eats, considering how drained he feels after everything that just happened. it isn't until renjun calls his name that he blinks back into focus.

"chenle, you okay?" he looks up, suddenly aware that everyone at the table is staring at him.

he shifts again in his seat, the plug uncomfortably pushing deeper inside him against the hardwood, and he nods. "yeah," he says, even though his voice comes out more broken than he'd like. "sorry, i'm just hungry." he says, which is not a lie in the slightest.

jaemin gives him an unconvinced look, and chenle shoots him a warning glare that effectively shuts it down for now. but the moment of peace doesn't last, of course it doesn't. "chenle, what’s that on your neck?” another voice pipes up. he doesn’t even register who it is at first, his hand shoots up instinctively to cover the side of his neck where jisung had been kissing.

"what do you mean?" he asks, eyes wide. "it looks like a rash or something,” donghyuck adds, and now chenle knows exactly who to blame. "oh," chenle lets out a forced laugh, brushing it off. "it’s nothing, don’t worry about it." he drops his hand and chuckles again, trying to steer the conversation in literally any other direction.

he can feel both jisung and jaemin mentally stabbing him with their eyes, and chenle shifts uncomfortably under the weight of it. he clears his throat, trying to focus on his food, but jisung's gaze is glued to him, watching his every movement like he’s waiting for something.

chenle takes a deep breath, willing himself to act normal, whatever that even means anymore. then, jisung leans in just slightly. "you okay?" he murmurs. chenle blinks. why is everyone asking him that? sure, it makes sense for jisung, it might even be mandatory after the way he'd just railed the shit out of him, but he really thought he was pulling off some resemblance of normalcy.

"i’m fine," chenle whispers back, side eyeing him. jisung doesn’t look convinced. his eyes drop down for a second, and chenle watches in horror as the man subtly gestures toward his lower half. "do you still have it in?" jisung asks under his breath, his voice low enough that no one else can hear.

chenle chokes on air, loudly clearing his throat as he sets his chopsticks down. "just eat your food," he mutters, pushing jisungs bowl of rice closer to him in a very not-subtle attempt to shut him up. jisung just laughs softly, clearly entertained, and finally picks up his chopsticks, thankfully giving chenle a moment of peace.

it's not a hickey, chenle confirms when he's in the bathroom after dinner, but there's a red mark from where jisung bit him. he lets out a sigh, it should fade by tomorrow. "what's up your ass?" another voice speaks again and chenle finds himself jumping because, god, why won't these men leave him alone in his time of need?

"what the hell is that supposed to mean?" chenle asks, feeling somewhat caught, glancing at jaemin in the mirror as he walks into the bathroom. chenle shifts the hood of his hoodie to cover the red mark on his neck as jaemin shrugs, sitting himself down on the lid of the toilet.

"i'm asking literally, you were sitting at the dinner table shifting around like you have something stuck up your ass." he teases, chenle takes in a deep breathe as his cheeks go red. of course it would be jaemin to point out something like that.

"you're imagining things." he replies with a shrug, wetting his toothbrush under the tap. jaemin lets out a laugh, shaking his head slightly. he sits silently, watching chenle brush his teeth like a creep, until he finally speaks again.

"you like jisung, don’t you?" jaemin asks, his voice casual but eyes gleaming with mischief. chenle chokes on his toothpaste, coughing and sputtering as he spits into the sink, quickly rinsing the foam from around his mouth. "what?" chenle manages, blinking at jaemin in disbelief.

jaemin just grins wider, clearly enjoying himself. "what, what?" he presses, a teasing edge in his voice. "where'd you get that idea from?" chenle asks, glancing over at jaemin. "it's pretty obvious," he says with a shrug, chenle gulps, looking up at himself in the mirror. he stays silent, gripping the edge of the basin as he feels his legs shake.

"i-" he says, breaking eye contact with himself. "i don't know how i feel." chenle confesses, clearing his throat as jaemin laughs loudly. "i knew it!" he exclaims, chenle lets out a shaky breath. "it doesn't matter right now, i need to go to bed." he says, shaking his head and turning around.

"yeah, go take that dildo out of your ass," jaemin teases instead, and chenle groans. "it's not a dildo!" he shouts in annoyance, leaving the bathroom and slamming the door behind him, leaving jaemin to laugh with nobody but himself.

chenle's finally in the shower, sighing contentedly as the warm water washes away his sweat and stickiness on his legs. he reaches behind him, bending over slightly as he grabs onto the end of the plug still inside him, tugging it out of him with a small wince and pop.

he watches the cum run down his legs, and a realization hits him. it's not about jisungs cum anymore. sure, it's an amazing addition to the man that chenle will definitely keep abusing if he continues to get the chance, but he's not craving it like he was before. now, he's just craving jisung.

he doesn't even know when it started, he hadn’t realized it himself until that quiet confession to jaemin in the bathroom. he thinks he likes jisung, maybe more than thinks. he's not even sure what to call it, not really. all he knows is that he wants to be near him all the time.

he aches for his presence, adores every little thing about him. the way he talks, the way he laughs, even the way he frowns when he's concentrating. it's something he can’t quite explain, and he’s not sure he wants to. not yet.

"fuck," chenle mutters, voice barely audible over the sound of the water hitting tile. he slides down the glass wall of the shower, legs folding beneath him as he sinks to the floor. steam curls around him, warm and suffocating, but it’s nothing compared to the weight pressing on his chest.

he lets his head fall into his hands, water trailing down his face like it’s trying to hide the way he’s falling apart. he likes jisung. and now that he's said it, admitted it, even if only to himself, there’s no pretending it’s not true.

when he steps back into his room, he lets out a tired sigh, eyes landing on the stained sheets he’d completely forgotten about. the last thing he wants to do right now is strip the bed and deal with laundry. so, using that as his excuse, and only that, he turns around and quietly makes his way down the hall to jisungs room.

jisung is already half-asleep when chenle slips inside, but he still shifts to make room, arms opening without question, a soft smile tugging at his lips when he looks up at the boy. chenle doesn't say a word, he just melts into the warmth of him, listening to the steady rhythm of jisungs breathing, and falls asleep wrapped in his arms.

chenle lets out a quiet sigh the next morning as he stretches his legs out across the cool floor of the dance studio, trying not to wince. the others are scattered around, half-awake and waiting for their choreographer to show up, but all chenle can focus on is the dull ache in his lower back and thighs.

of all the nights jisung could've chosen to absolutely wreck him, why did it have to be right before a 9 a.m. rehearsal? he shifts in place, and bites back a groan. all he wants is to crawl back into bed.

he watches jisung on the other side of the room, smiling shyly as he talks to renjun and mark, stretching his arms above his head. chenles eyes lingered a little too long, at first out of habit, then out of something softer, something terrifyingly real. he watched the way the other boy laughed, completely unaware of the storm brewing inside chenle just a few feet away.

chenles heart stuttered as he traced the curve of jisung smile, the crinkle at the edge of his eyes, and the easy confidence in the way he moved. it wasn't supposed to feel like this. it wasn't supposed to feel so much. but in that quiet moment, watching him like he was something worth watching, he realized with a slow, aching clarity that there was no going back anymore.

he likes jisung, and that was that. truthfully, he can't blame anyone but himself. he's the one who started all this, he's the one who let himself get too close, too personal, too interested in everything about the man.

and now, he thinks he's ruined everything.

chenle clears his throat and looks away from jisung, heat creeping up the back of his neck despite the chill spreading down his arms. he stands, stretching out the lingering soreness in his back, muscles protesting with every movement. he makes his way to the cubbies in the corner of the room. jaemin's already there, digging through his bag, and chenle hesitates. he's not sure he has it in him to handle the older boy's knowing looks or casual questions, not this morning

"hey," jaemin says, flashing a small smile as chenle steps up beside him, rifling through his own bag. "hey," chenle echoes, keeping his voice even as he pulls out his hoodie. jaemin turns slightly, unscrewing the lid of his water bottle as he leans casually against the cubbies. he takes a long sip, eyes flicking to look over at chenle.

chenle rolls his neck, preparing to pull his shirt off, when a sudden gasp makes him freeze. before he can move, jaemins hand shoots out, grabbing the back of his shirt and tugging it firmly back down. "what?" chenle asks, puzzled by the unexpected interruption, but jaemin just shakes his head, eyes wide and unreadable.

"your entire back is covered in hickeys," jaemin whispers, voice low enough so that none of the other members will hear him. chenle groans, pressing his forehead against the edge of the cubby in front of him, heat rushing to his cheeks. "i forgot about that," he mumbles, eyes closing as frustration and embarrassment wash over him.

he's not mad about the hickeys, he really couldn't care less. it's not that they're going to be visible to the public or anything, chenles frustration is more dedicated towards his recent realization. "can you cover me?" chenle asks quietly, craving the comfort of his hoodie.

jaemin nods without hesitation and steps in front of him, standing tall and blocking the view in case any of the other members glance their way. taking the chance, chenle pulls his shirt off quickly and tosses it aside, slipping his hoodie over his head. he pulls it down low, just past his hips, hiding the marks beneath the fabric. "thanks," chenle says, clearing his throat and shoving his shirt back into his bag.

"you seem kind of down today." jaemin notes, moving back away from chenle to rest against the cubbies again. chenle nods, turning around and leaning next to jaemin, he finds his eyes subconsciously float over to jisung again, who is showing donghyuck the correct footing of some random dance move. "yeah, i don't really feel that great." chenle says, watching jisung trip over himself slightly- it makes chenle smile.

jaemins eyes follow chenles toward jisung, and he tsks quietly. "because of him?" he asks. chenle looks away, like he's been caught. "i guess so," he says, licking his lips without thinking. jaemin nods, crossing his arms. "you should tell him." chenle scoffs immediately.

"yeah, right." he shakes his head like the suggestion is ridiculous. "no, i'm serious. i have a feeling he likes you back," jaemin says, calm and matter-of-fact. chenle chews at the inside of his cheek. "i don’t even know if it would work, anyway," he mutters, shrugging.

jaemin opens his mouth to respond, but before he can say anything, their choreographer walks into the room, clapping loudly to get the groups attention.

chenle can barely concentrate, thoughts tangled and loud. he meant what he said, he really isn't sure it would work. what if jisung did like him back, and they actually got together? they're constantly in the spotlight, cameras and fans tracking their every move. how long could it stay hidden? would it be worth the risk?

he can't help but spiral- what would the company say? what about the other members? would they be supportive, or would everything start to shift in ways they couldn't take back. headlines, speculations, it would be chaos. but the scariest part wasn't their idol image, it was what might happen if they tried. if it went wrong, if it ruined them. or worse; if it didn’t, and he finally had something real to lose. he couldn't lose jisung.

"i need a break," chenle blurts out suddenly, the words cutting through the room. every pair of eyes snaps to look at him, but he can't bring himself to meet any of them. his mind's spinning too fast, too loud, there's no way he can focus right now.

"you okay, chenle?" the choreographer asks gently. chenle nods quickly, offering a weak smile as he shakes his head, trying to shoo away the attention but it's no use. everyone's still watching, their concern hanging heavy in the air, and chenle feels more exposed than ever.

"yeah, sorry. just give me five minutes." he says, taking a small step back that he gently trips over, before slipping out of the studio without another word, the stares burning behind him as he moves out the door.

the cool air outside hits his skin like a shock, but it's a relief compared to the heat suffocating him inside. he leans against the wall, arms wrapped around himself, trying to steady his racing heart. he hears footsteps behind him before he realizes jisung is there, his presence quiet but steady.

"hey," jisung says quietly, chenle smiles up at him in a way that he tries to pretend is casual. "are you okay?" he then asks, and chenle nods quickly, even though it's not the truth in the slightest. "yeah, of course. why wouldn't i be?" he asks, jisung shrugs, shoving his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants.

"you just seem kind of off today," jisung says, his tone awkward, searching for the right words. chenle glances away, wrapping his arms tighter around himself. "i’m fine," chenle repeats, but jisung isn't convinced. he tilts his head, swallowing slowly, clearly still worried.

"is it because of last night? i'm sorry if i hurt you or did something wrong, i-” jisung starts to ramble, but chenle shakes his head, cutting him off gently. "you did nothing wrong, don't worry," chenle says, offering a soft smile. jisung just furrows his eyebrows and presses his lips together, clearly still caught in his own thoughts.

"is it because of the kiss?" jisung asks, swallowing lightly as he watches chenle furrow his eyebrows and glance over at him. "what kiss?" chenle replies, genuinely confused. "when we were lying down after, and i kissed your cheek." jisung explains, a sad expression clouding his eyes, one chenle can't quite read or understand.

"why would it be because of that?" chenle asks, shaking his head slightly, swallowing hard. "i didn't think you liked it when i kissed you," jisung admits quietly, eyes darting away. "no, i- i don’t care,” chenle says, confused. “where did you get that idea from?” he looks at jisung, completely lost in the sudden shift between them.

"i don’t know.. sorry," jisung says with a quiet sigh, running a hand through his hair, frustration and uncertainty flickering in his expression. chenle presses his lips into a thin line, looking away. the silence that follows is heavy, uncomfortable in a way that makes the air feel too thick, like even breathing takes effort. then, another voice cuts through it, sharp and sudden, slicing straight through the tension.

"the instructor is asking you guys to come back in," jaemin says, gesturing over his shoulder with a thumb. both boys glance at him and nod. jisung clears his throat, muttering a quiet "okay" before stepping forward, brushing past jaemin as he heads back into the room without looking back.

jaemin lingers behind, watching him go. "what was that about?" he asks in a hushed whisper, falling in beside chenle. chenle shrugs, letting out a soft sigh. "i have no idea," he mutters, shaking his head. "come on, let's go back in." his voice is low, tired, and he steps ahead of jaemin, not wanting to say more.

jaemin watches him for a moment, his expression tinged with quiet understanding and a trace of sadness. he wonders if either of them will finally just admit what's going on between them, or if they'll keep dragging each other through this quiet, aching kind of loneliness.

it seems they decide the latter, because they spend the next few days with an uncomfortable weariness around their heads. at an interview, chenle chooses a seat on the complete opposite side away from jisung, at home, he tries to avoid spaces that jisung is in.

it's the same kind of ignorance that chenle once faced when he first asked jisung if he could have his cum, it happens in the same way; only this time, he's not sure jisung is going to be the one knocking on his door and asking him to talk.

chenle knows that jisung thinks it's his fault, but it's not. it's really not. he doesn't want jisung to feel guilt, either about the sex or about the kiss, but he can't find it in himself to face jisung. he knows he's being selfish, he's well aware of that fact.

he knows it even more after jaemin pulled him aside another night, asking him why he's ignoring jisung. he recalls jaemin saying something to him about how jisung talked to him about it, and how it's been eating him alive.

chenle doesn't know what to do. he tried to explain to jaemin his thoughts, the reason why he's been ignoring jisung, but jaemin just called him stupid and told him to knock some sense into his head. he tries to remind him that at the end of the day they're still best friends, and it's not fair at all to ignore jisung like this without an explanation.

still, chenle just can't bear to face him. he doesn't know what to do.

“movie night!” jenos voice rips him out of his thoughts, followed by a series of loud, enthusiastic knocks against chenles door. each thud sends a pulse straight through his already pounding headache, making him wince.

chenle groans quietly, pressing the heel of his palm to his temple. he really can't be bothered with a movie night right now- not with the way his head is throbbing, and definitely not with all the emotional weight lingering inside him.

still, he pulls himself out of bed, wiping the sleep from his eyes as he shuffles to the door. it creaks open with a soft groan, and he drags his feet down the hallway toward the lounge, where three of the seven members are already sprawled out on the couches and floor, laughing softly and picking through a pile of snacks.

the room is warm and dimly lit, familiar, but chenle feels oddly out of place as he steps inside. he falls down in his usual spot on the couch, curling his legs into himself. he glances up at the screen to see what movie was chosen, call me by your name.

renjun strolls into the lounge in a cheerful singsong, plopping down onto the couch across the room beside mark and jeno. he throws a casual glance chenles way as he settles in, and chenle furrows his brows, it feels... off. like something unspoken just passed between them.

then jaemin enters, kicking at chenles feet lightly as he passes, a teasing smirk on his face. instead of squeezing onto the couch next to chenle, he drops down onto the beanbag- the only other unoccupied spot in the room.

chenle blinks.

all eyes are casually back on the screen, or focused towards the other members, but something about the way renjun smiled, and the way jaemin didn’t even hesitate to take the beanbag instead of sitting next to him like chenle assumed he would, makes chenle feel like maybe this wasn't as spontaneous of a movie night as it seemed.

chenle knows the members see the tension simmering between him and jisung- they're not stupid. and now, a flicker of doubt creeps in: did jaemin say something to them about it?

chenle glances around at the others; mark, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, and renjun, all settled into their usual spots, relaxed and chatting as they usually would. the only person missing now is jisung and the only space left in the room is right next to him.

it’s a small couch, just big enough for two people to sit if they don't mind being pressed up against each other. and until recently, that was never a problem. jisung and chenle never minded before.

the thought makes chenle suck in a quiet breath, his body tensing before he can stop it. without thinking, he subtly shifts closer to the edge of the couch, putting a bit more space between him and the empty cushion beside him. he should've just taken the beanbag, he realizes. at least then he wouldn't be stuck in this uncertain limbo, waiting, hoping, dreading, wondering if jisung would sit next to him or not.

but now he just sits there, silent, eyes glazed over as he stares up at the title screen still paused on the tv. the conversation around him turns to muffled static, laughter and chatter bleeding into the background, none of it reaching him.

he starts to wonder if jisung decided not to come at all. maybe he bailed. but then, just as that thought starts to settle uncomfortably in his chest, he hears the soft shuffle of footsteps behind him, hesitant, familiar. and just like that, chenles pulse jumps.

he almost turns to look at jisung when he hears him enter, but stops himself at the last second, forcing his attention to stay fixed on the screen instead. "sorry i took forever," jisung says, his voice cutting straight through chenle like a wire pulled too tight.

chenle hears his footsteps round the corner of the couch and braces for him to sit beside him like he always does. but instead, jisung drops to the floor, settling in against the empty space just below, his back resting against the couch.

jisung clears his throat lightly, not glancing back to look at chenle once. chenles eyes follow him as jisung leans forward to grab a random snack from the pile in front of him, the pop of the bag opening is quiet but to chenle it feels awfully loud.

"alright," jeno says with a smile, scanning the room. "let's get this movie going!" he settles deeper into the couch and presses play. the soft hum of the intro music fills the room, drawing everyones attention to the screen, but chenle doesn’t look up.

instead, his eyes are fixed on jisung- the back of his head, the way his hair still glistens slightly damp. chenle guesses jisung must've just stepped out of the shower. a pang of guilt twists in chenles chest. he never wanted jisung to feel like this, to feel like he can’t even sit beside him anymore.

in chenles most selfish moment, he wants jisung right next to him. it's a sharp contrast to only minutes ago, when the very thought of jisung sitting beside him twisted his stomach with unease, but now, that feeling has shifted.

his eyes catch on a stray piece of jisungs hair, sticking out just a little. chenle swallows, a quiet idea forming in his mind. he probably shouldn't do it, he knows that, but he’s unsure how else to show jisung that he's still okay with him being close.

so, chenle glances around, making sure no one else is watching. when he's certain, he leans over just slightly, fingers reaching into jisungs hair to gently smooth the rebellious strand down, silent and tentative.

jisungs entire body stiffens at the touch. chenle catches the way jisungs hand tightens on the chip bag, subtle but unmistakable. chenle clears his throat softly right after, pulling himself back into the cushion. his hand rises to cover his mouth, a quiet attempt to hide the sudden nervousness fluttering through him.

jisung swallows lightly from where he's sitting, and finally, he glances back to look at chenle. chenle catches the movement in the corner of his eye as jisung looks at him, but he stills in his position, eyes focused on the movie as if nothing happened.

jisungs eyes flicker downward, confusion clouding his expression after that small, unexpected interaction. what did it mean? why now, after so long of barely acknowledging him? he bites his bottom lip thoughtfully, then reluctantly looks away from chenle.

but despite the hesitation, jisung shifts a little closer, letting his side press gently against chenles leg dangling off the couch. it’s a quiet, tentative move. an unspoken question hanging between them in the dim light of the room. chenle lets him.

there's an uncomfortable cloud hanging over them, thick and heavy, aching for release, and less than ten minutes into the movie, it finally breaks.

jisung suddenly stands, eyes locking onto chenles alone, ignoring everyone else. without a word, his brows knit together as he reaches out and grabs chenles hand, tugging him off the couch. chenle gasps, a flicker of nervousness tightening in his chest as jisung pulls him down the hallway.

"jisung-" chenle tries to speak, but jisung doesn’t listen. he keeps pulling until they reach his room, then shuts and locks the door behind them. "we're talking,” jisung asserts, crossing his arms and giving chenle a look so serious chenle knows that there's no way of getting out of this.

chenle stays silent, staring up at jisungs upset eyes, a flush creeping across his cheeks. "why are you ignoring me?" jisung asks first, his voice cracking under the weight of his frustration. chenle bites the inside of his cheek, searching for words he can’t find.

"is it because of what happened? the sex, i mean," jisung presses. chenle shakes his head quickly. "because if that's it, chenle, you consented. it's not fair to just shut me out without telling me what i did wrong," jisung adds, his hand sweeping through the air like it's pleading for a reason.

chenle swallows, shaking his head again. "it's not that-" he begins, but jisung sighs and rubs a hand over his face. "so it was the kiss, then?" jisung says, eyes narrowing. chenle just stares back, baffled. what was with this kiss? why did jisung think it upset him so much?

honestly, when it happened, chenle barely registered it. they'd just had sex, a quick kiss on the cheek wasn't something to freak out over. "you really think a fucking kiss bothered me that much?" chenle snaps, irritation rising. is jisung really that clueless?

"yeah, i do, chenle!" jisung shouts, the sudden volume making chenle flinch. "i heard you talking to jaemin the first time we kissed, how you said it was weird." jisung admits, and chenle scoffs. so that explains it.

"firstly, you shouldn’t be eavesdropping on my private conversations!" chenle retorts, knowing it’s petty but not caring. "and secondly, i didn't mean it like that, god," he says, closing his eyes and taking a frustrated breath.

"how did you mean it then? because to me, it felt like you weren't okay with it." jisung counters, shrugging. chenle swallows down his anger, gritting his teeth before exhaling. "i said it was weird because it felt like more than just a kiss to me," chenle says quietly, watching jisungs brow furrow deeper.

"what the hell does that mean?" jisung asks sharply. chenle wants to scream. "i just wondered if it meant more to you," he admits. jisung laughs, a sound that could be either amusement or pure rage, or both. "so that's what this is about, huh? you think this means more than just hooking up?" jisung asks, voice low but intense. chenle clenches his fists tightly.

"no," chenle replies, unwilling to tell the full truth. "then tell me!" jisung demands, voice rising again. chenle feels his heart race. "i'm trying to figure out if it means more to me than just hooking up," chenle admits, closing his eyes to avoid jisungs reaction.

the silence that follows is thick, almost suffocating, before jisung finally breathes out, "what?".

"i think i'm starting to actually like you," chenle confesses, knowing there's no going back now. if he doesn't say it now, the resentment will only grow heavier inside him and he'll never end up saying it.

jisung just breathes, eyes locked on chenle after he speaks, and a wave of regret rises inside chenle. he's sure he's messed everything up, that jisung's going to hate him forever now.

"you like me?” jisung asks, swallowing hard. chenle looks down, wiping the sweat-soaked sleeve of his hoodie across his face. "yeah." chenle presses his lips together, feeling tears sting the edges of his eyes. "sorry." he adds with a shrug.

jisung lets out a shaky sigh. "you could've just told me that instead of ignoring me," he says softly. chenle looks up, confusion clouding his features. "i thought you'd hate me," chenle confesses quietly.

jisung shakes his head with a scoff, a small smile tugging at his lips. chenle doesn't know that jisung feels the exact opposite. "i'd never hate you, idiot," jisung says, pulling chenle into a tight hug, arms wrapping around him like a shield.

"i like you, chenle," jisung admits back, and chenle stills against his chest. "sorry." jisung repeats, breath shaky. "since when?" chenle asks quietly, not fully believing the words as they come. jisung shrugs, fingers tightening gently around chenles waist. "forever."

chenle closes his eyes, feeling foolish. he shouldn't have ignored jisung. of course jisung wouldn't hate him. and of course jisung likes him, chenle's just an idiot for not seeing it sooner. after all, why else would he put up with all the insane requests chenle's been throwing at him for the past month?

"i'm so sorry," chenle whispers, pressing his head deeper into jisungs chest. jisungs soft laughter ripples through him. "it's okay. i get why you were scared," jisung murmurs, resting his chin gently atop chenles hair.

chenle tilts his head up, their faces just centimeters apart. his eyes meet jisungs, and jisungs gaze softens as it meets his own. with a pounding heart and cheeks flushed red, chenle rises on his tiptoes, their lips meeting in a kiss, one that neither of them will regret this time.

Chapter Text

chenle and jisung weren't official. not yet, anyway. things were okay again though, and that was all that mattered to them. after their conversation that night, they rejoined the movie with their friends, hands held and eyes pointedly ignoring all the stares sent their way.

they hadn't talked about it again, not even to jaemin, neither of them was exactly sure why. things just carried on the same way they always had, maybe with a little more lingering, a little more touching (not like they didn't do that before, anyway).

but nothing sexual. chenle hadn't had the guts to ask, not after everything. he worried that jisung would think he only wanted him for his hyperspermia. that was, until a slow afternoon in the dorm kitchen only a week later, with all the other members out, except for him and jisung.

chenle is zoned out, hands in the soapy water, eyes lost in the swirls like they hold the answer to something he can't name. then he feels jisung press into him, chest to his back, a hand sliding onto his hip as jisung mutters casually, "sorry, just getting a glass." chenle swallows, watching him extend his arm past, except he doesn't quite reach.

"ugh," jisung mutters, stretching further, and, chenle's more than sure, on purpose, rolls his hips just slightly into him. chenle scoffs quietly, moving a plate to the drying rack.

"ah," jisung says, finally grabbing the glass. "got it." he sets it down on the bench in front of chenle... then walks away without a word, without even using it. it's intentional, chenle knows for sure. but still, he doesn't say anything.

instead, he shakes his head and fills the glass with water himself. when he takes a sip, jisung brushes past again, knocking into him just enough to make chenle splutter, water dribbling down his chin.

"oops," jisung says, all wide eyed innocence. chenle furrows his brows. "you made me spill some," he mutters, wiping at his face, deliberately in the wrong spot just because. "the other side, chenle," jisung says with a scoff. "oh," chenle replies, and wipes at the wrong spot again. 

jisung sighs and steps closer, swiping his thumb gently over chenles bottom lip. "got it." chenle gives him a look, knowing, amused. "thanks," he says, turning back to the dishes like nothing just happened.

chenle's halfway through rinsing a bowl when jisung slides in beside him again, not even pretending to be subtle this time. his hand rests against the edge of the counter, brushing against chenles.

"you know you don't actually have to do the dishes," jisung says, leaning in, voice warm against chenles ear. "you're not on cleaning duty."

"i needed to keep busy," chenle says, not looking at him. "too much thinking otherwise." jisung hums, like he understands exactly what that means. his arm curls loosely around chenles waist. "about me?" he asks.

chenle flicks water at him in response, but there's no real bite to it. jisung grins, stepping in closer, his hips just barely grazing chenles. neither of them moves away.

"you're clingy today," chenle mutters, though he doesn't pull back. "you like it," jisung says easily. chenle finally looks at him, there's a flush crawling up his neck, a spark of something unsettled in his eyes. "maybe," he admits.

jisung studies him for a second, like he's trying to read all the things chenle isn't saying. "do you want me to back off?" he asks gently, "no," chenle says, faster than intended. "just... don't look at me like that."

"like what?" jisung asks, raising an eyebrow. "like you're gonna fuck me in the middle of the kitchen." jisung tilts his head. "would you let me?" chenles throat tightens, of course he would, but he doesn't answer.

they stay like that for a moment, wrapped up in something fragile but real, until chenle clears his throat and mutters, "just dry the dishes if you're gonna hover." jisung just laughs, reaching for a towel.

he doesn't fuck chenle in the kitchen, whether that's unfortunate or not is no ones business, but chenle learns something important that day: jisung is craving him; maybe more than ever.

it's not just the way he keeps brushing past him for no reason, or how he keeps looking at chenle like he's already undressing him in his mind. it's later, when they're on the couch, pretending to watch a series they've both already seen.

jisungs hand is resting on chenles thigh, not in a casual, boyfriend way either. it's deliberate. his fingers are curled around the soft inner part, rubbing slow, rhythmic circles into the skin just a little too high to be innocent. his eyes stay trained on the screen, completely unfazed, like he doesn't even realize what he's doing.

chenle shifts slightly, but the hand doesn't move. if anything, it squeezes tighter, thumb pressing in just a little deeper. "you're not watching," chenle says, voice low. "i am," jisung replies without hesitation, still looking at the screen, not at him. "it's just boring."

"your hand isn't bored." jisung shrugs. "i like how warm you are." chenle presses his lips together to hold back a laugh, or a maybe even a quiet noise of satisfaction, he's not sure which. "you're doing it on purpose."

"doing what?" jisung asks, finally turning his head to look at him, all wide eyed and innocent. it would be convincing if his fingers weren't currently skimming dangerously close to the edge of chenles shorts.

chenle breathes in through his nose, gripping the edge of the couch cushion. he's not sure if jisung is trying to make him break first, but if he is, he's almost winning. chenle turns his head away, trying to focus on the television, but all he can feel is jisungs hand, the press of his fingertips getting slower, firmer, like he's testing just how far chenle will let this go.

and god, chenle wants to let it go further. he wants jisung to push his hand up just a little higher, to stop pretending, to take him apart right here on the couch. but they're still figuring this out, the dating thing, the not-just-fucking thing, and chenle isn't sure who they're allowed to be yet.

"you're impossible," chenle mutters under his breath, but he doesn't push the hand away. if anything, he shifts a little, spreading his legs just enough that jisungs fingers slip closer to where he really wants them. it's subtle, barely a movement, but jisung notices, chenle can tell by the way his hand pauses for just a second.

the pressure changes. fingers that were once idly circling are now teasing, slipping beneath the hem of chenles shorts, brushing the edge of his boxers. chenles breath catches, it's soft, almost silent, but jisung hears it.

"you're such an asshole," he whispers, but his hips twitch up slightly, trying to push jisungs fingers further. he can't help it; jisung has him wrapped around his finger, literally and figuratively. jisung laughs, quiet and smug, lips brushing against chenles jaw. "you keep saying that," he says, pressing a kiss right below his ear, "but you're the one letting me get away with it."

"not letting," chenle manages to say, though it's strained. "just too tired to fight you." jisung scoffs gently, his fingers slipping back from chenles waistband with a teasing slowness. "sure. let's go with that," he says, a smile curling at his lips as he casually moves his hand away and crosses his arms, turning back to the show like nothing just happened.

chenle should've never said anything to him. not about the feelings, not about the wanting, because now jisung knows. now he knows chenle likes him, knows he has more access, more power than just a fuck buddy. and jisungs clearly going to milk that for everything it's worth.

chenle lets out a shaky breath, fists clenched in his lap. he's not giving in, he's definitely not doing it, sure he's not.

jisung knows exactly what he's doing. chenle can see it in the way he smugly reclines against the couch cushion like he didn't just nearly get him off with one hand and a couple soft words. the air between them feels heavy now, like jisungs fingers are still there, ghosting over his skin.

and chenles entire body is betraying him. every nerve in him is screaming for attention, strung tight with frustration, his pulse hammering in his throat. he shifts slightly, pulling a cushion into his lap like that might save his dignity.

"asshole," he mutters, voice low, mostly to himself. jisung doesn't look at him. "you started it," he says simply, eyes still on the screen. chenle scoffs and throws his head back against the couch with a soft thud. "you're unbelievable."

"mm," jisung hums, finally glancing at him with a smirk that doesn't even try to hide how pleased he is. "but you like me, remember?" and that's the thing. chenle does. he really, really does, which is exactly why he's not going to cave. not yet. he has to prove that jisung is not just some cum toy for him whenever he's bored.

so chenle forces himself to sit up, smooth out his expression, and turn toward the tv like he's totally unfazed, even though he's anything but. "cool," he says flatly. "i'm watching now." jisung chuckles under his breath. "sure you are."

they don't talk after that. not really. they just sit there, side by side, pretending to be invested in the show while chenles skin is still buzzing and jisung is clearly counting the minutes until chenle snaps again.

and he will snap, they both know it. but not yet, not tonight... probably.

probably not, truthfully, because now that jisung's got it in his head, it won't leave. that's the thing with chenle, once he wants something, it clings like static, like an idea that wraps around every thought until it's all consuming.

just like the measuring cup, the container, wanting more, liking him. jisung gets in his head more than he'd ever like to admit, and worse, he stays there like a feeling he can't shake, a need he's never known before, a problem he doesn't want solved.

 an urge for jisung to bend him over and fuck him til he can't even think.

chenle snaps. the second jisung shuts the door to his bedroom for the night, chenle's on him, shoving him back against the wood, breath hot and lips even hotter as they crash into jisungs. it's fast, desperate, a week of restraint dissolving in the quiet click of that door.

jisung lets out a surprised hum, hands instinctively flying up to chenles shoulders like he doesn't know whether to push him away or pull him closer, but it only takes a second, just one, for him to give in.

his hands slide behind chenles neck, fingers threading into the hair at his nape as he leans down just enough to deepen the kiss. his lips press harder, hungrier, and chenle melts like he always does, boneless under jisungs touch, head dizzy with want.

jisung tastes like everything chenle's been craving. like the curve of his throat after dance practice, the salt of his skin, the sharp sweetness he leaves behind in every kiss. his sweat, his breath, his cum; chenle's obsessed. utterly, embarrassingly obsessed.

he feels jisung breathe heavier into his mouth, his fingers tightening in chenles hair like he's been holding back for far too long. jisungs tongue presses insistently at chenles lips until they part for him, and he wastes no time, pushing in, tasting him, claiming him. chenle lets out a quiet, desperate moan right into jisungs open mouth.

then jisungs hands slide down, curling around chenles waist. in one swift motion, he spins them, pressing chenle firmly against the door instead. chenle gasps at the impact, the wood cold against his back, and when he looks up, jisung is already smirking.

"what're you doing?" jisung asks teasingly, voice low and dripping with amusement- like he hadn't just kissed chenle back just as eagerly, like he hadn't spent the entire day orchestrating this exact situation.

chenle pants lightly, chest rising and falling as his eyes flick down to jisungs lips, then back up to meet his gaze. his throat feels dry. chenle doesn't answer, not with words. instead, he closes the distance again, his fingers tugging jisung down by the collar of his hoodie. 

he feels jisung laugh softly against his lips, the vibration making chenle shiver, before jisungs mouth begins to trail down, kissing the edge of his jaw, then down to his neck. the kisses are frustratingly gentle, like jisung knows exactly how to make chenle squirm. chenle lets out a breathy whine, desperate for more, but before he can even begin to complain, jisung pulls back completely.

"seriously?" chenle breathes out, dizzy with want as jisung sighs like he's completely unaffected, stretching his arms above his head with a casual yawn. "it's probably time we go to bed, isn't it?" jisung says, all calm and unbothered, as if chenle isn't still pressed up against the door looking like a mess. like jisung didn't just wind him up only to leave him hanging.

chenle stares at him in disbelief, panting softly, lips still tingling. "hey," he calls out, tone sharp. jisung glances back over his shoulder, eyebrow raised. "are you intentionally blue balling me, or?" jisung smirks, scoffing lightly. "i don't know what you're talking about," he says, way too innocent for someone who just left a trail of heat down chenles neck.

he drops onto the bed with a satisfied little sigh, pulling the covers over himself without so much as a glance. chenle glares from the door, still catching his breath, fists clenched at his sides. he doesn't get jisungs game.

why he's suddenly withholding, why he won't just give in like he used to. chenle always got what he wanted. he can only assume it's because of whatever it is they are now; undefined, unspoken, stuck in limbo.

"am i not allowed to want my boyfriend anymore?" chenle asks, tone sharp, mostly to see how jisung will react to the word. jisung scoffs, pulling his phone from his pocket, screen lighting up his smirking face.

"boyfriend?" he echoes, glancing over. "didn't know you had one." he adds, turning back to his phone like it's nothing. chenle furrows his brows. "you're right," he says after a beat, pushing off the door with a little sigh. "guess i should go ask someone else to fuck me, then."

he barely takes a step before jisung clears his throat. "come here." chenle turns, feigning innocence as he walks slowly toward him. when he's close enough, jisung grabs the collar of his hoodie and tugs him down so their faces meet.

"you wanna get fucked, huh?" jisung murmurs, eyebrow raised. chenle nods, wide eyed, lips parted like he's never wanted anything more. jisung gives a small smile, one corner of his mouth curling smugly. "go ahead then," he says, patting his lap. "fuck yourself on my cock." chenles breath stutters in his throat.

he definitely hadn't expected that.

chenle stares, lips parting slightly, the confidence he'd been clinging to unraveling just a little under jisungs gaze. jisung leans back against the pillows, one arm tucked casually behind his head, the other lazily gesturing toward his lap like it's a goddamn throne. like he knows chenle won't say no... because he won't.

"what?" chenle breathes out, throat dry, heart slamming against his ribs. jisung tilts his head, eyes flicking down over chenles body and then slowly back up, gaze infuriatingly calm. "you heard me," he says, voice soft, almost amused. "you wanted it so bad. go ahead."

chenle hesitates for a second, standing stiff in front of him. this wasn't how he thought the night would go. maybe they'd kiss, maybe jisung would continue to tease him, but not this. not him being told to take. 

he only said it to rile jisung up, but the way jisung looks at him; half-lidded eyes, the slow curl of a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth, like he's daring him to say no, pulls something dangerous out of chenle; so he moves. slow at first, crawling into jisungs lap, straddling him. 

jisung doesn't help, doesn't even move, just watches, letting chenle figure it out like he's curious how far he'll go. chenle settles his hands on jisungs chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath his hoodie. "fine," he mutters, trying to sound confident. "don't help me, then." jisung raises his eyebrows like he's impressed, and that's all the encouragement chenle needs.

he rolls his hips once, slow and deliberate, watching as jisungs composure flickers, just barely, but enough. chenle scoffs. "thought so," he mutters under his breath, catching the way jisung takes in a deep breath like he's not quite as unaffected as he wants to be.

still, jisung swallows it down, picking up his phone like he's bored. chenle grits his teeth. "what're you doing?" chenle asks, eyes narrowing at the glowing screen like it just insulted him.

jisung glances up briefly, unimpressed. "you're the one who wants to fuck, not me." his voice is too calm, too dismissive. he laughs lightly at something on his phone, thumb scrolling like chenle isn't even on top of him. "go ahead, i'm just gonna sit here."

chenle raises an eyebrow. oh, it's a challenge.

the idea lights something dangerous in him. fine, jisung wants to play hard to get? then chenle will make him lose it. he's seen how sensitive jisung is, how easily he crumbles when it's good. it won't take long, not if chenle really tries.

he'll make him break, make him shake, make that phone slip right out of his smug little hand. and then, he'll watch jisung fuck up into him like he was the one begging for it all along.

so, slowly as ever, chenle rolls his hips down against jisung again. but this time, like jisung was expecting it, he doesn't even flinch. chenle raises an eyebrow. fine.

he leans back, settling his hands against jisungs thighs behind him, angling himself just a bit more. then he rolls down again, slow, controlled, deliberate. this time, he catches it: the way jisungs tongue flicks out to wet his lips, the slight shift in his jaw.

it's small, but it's enough. chenle smirks, satisfied. he's getting to him.

he keeps going, rolling his hips in slow, steady motions, letting his head fall back for dramatic effect- like he's giving a performance just for jisung. he can feel him getting harder under the thin fabric of his sweatpants, proof that he's winning. but still, jisung stares at his phone, head tilted slightly like the dumb video he's watching is somehow more interesting.

chenle narrows his eyes as he swings a leg off jisungs lap, shifting slightly before grabbing at the mans sweatpants and boxers, yanking them down in one swift motion. he glances up at jisungs face, nothing, not even a flinch. the audacity is baffling.

so chenle goes further. he slides a hand up jisungs inner thigh, slow and deliberate, one teasing finger tracing over the sensitive skin, stopping just shy of where he knows jisung wants it most, still no reaction.

chenles jaw tightens as he looks down, eyes locked on the way his finger drags up the underside of jisungs balls- slow and taunting. he hears it, the soft catch in jisungs throat, barely audible but there. still, jisung plays it cool, like chenle's not unraveling him piece by piece.

chenle smirks.

he taps his fingers lightly against them, almost absentmindedly, and hears the subtle shift in jisungs breathing. faster now, shallower. it's working.

then, he runs a single finger up the seam, slow and deliberate. jisung shifts slightly, and chenle leans down, pressing the lightest kiss to the left one, lips soft and careful like he's worshipping him.

he doesn't break eye contact.

and that's what does it, jisungs hand twitches, halfway to reaching out before he stops himself, fingers curling against the sheets instead. chenle watches it all unfold, sees the restraint in the way jisungs jaw tenses, how his body wants to give in so badly but his pride won't let him yet.

if he wasn't trying so hard to act unbothered, chenle knows jisung would already be breathless, maybe even whispering his name, asking what the hell he thinks he's doing, right before giving up and letting him do whatever he wants.

chenle presses another kiss, then another, and then takes the ball into his mouth. still, jisung doesn't stop him, doesn't say a word, just breathes. he's breaking; chenle can feel it in the way his body tightens, in the silence that suddenly feels too loud.

chenles tongue swirls around the ball slowly, deliberately, tracing soft circles around it. jisung squeezes his eyes shut, face still angled toward the phone, though he's clearly not watching it anymore. he swallows hard, takes in a breath that shudders faintly at the end, and opens his eyes again like nothing's changed.

chenle moves his hand to jisungs now hard and leaking cock, letting his palm swirl against the tip before spreading the precum down the side. he lets the ball fall gently from his mouth, pressing a light kiss again before shifting to straddle jisung once more.

jisung lets out a sigh, one chenle assumes is relief, but chenle is far from finished. his hand strokes jisung with a gentleness that he knows the man hates, like he's testing him, like he's waiting for him to snap and thrust up into his hand. but jisung doesn't. he stays still, infuriatingly still.

chenle raises an eyebrow, unimpressed, before pulling his hand away entirely. no more teasing, no more reward. jisung doesn't even flinch, not like chenle would've if their roles were reversed.

sucking at his teeth, chenle sits up, dragging his shorts and boxers down his legs with one hand while the other stays pressed against jisungs chest to keep him in place. an idea sparks, and a smirk curls on chenles lips.

he tosses his shorts aside, but takes a moment to place his boxers carefully on jisungs chest like they mean something. jisung glances down at them, one brow lifting in quiet curiosity, but he doesn't say a word. chenle just smiles at him, finally breaking jisung away from his phone. he shrugs gently, watching jisung scoff as the man eyes him intently, curious about what he'll do next. 

chenle shifts, settling himself so he's straddling just above jisungs cock, then takes the base in his hand, lowering himself to line up- but jisung finally reacts, shifting forward to grab chenles wrist.

"stop," jisung says, eyebrows furrowed, setting his phone down on his chest. chenle swallows lightly. "i thought you weren't going to do anything?" he teases, lifting his hand to stroke jisungs length anyway, making jisung let out a strangled breath.

"i'm not," jisung says firmly, "but you're not fucking me without prepping yourself or any lube." chenle scoffs, poking his tongue into the side of his cheek. "i'm fine," he says, eyes flickering back to jisungs serious ones.

"no, chenle," jisung says more firmly. chenle swallows again and pushes himself back, settling against jisungs thighs, frustration simmering just beneath the surface. "you're so boring," chenle mutters, rolling his eyes.

"and you're a fucking brat," jisung tsks, picking his phone back up like he's won this round. chenle bites his tongue, already plotting his next move. he'll see just how much jisung can hold back when he's fingering himself right in front of jisungs face.

so, chenle moves off jisung again, sliding completely off the bed to the bedside table. he squats down, fishing through the drawer until he spots a nearly full bottle of lube- no surprise there. jisung has so much precum, he probably doesn't even need it.

chenle grabs the bottle and tosses it onto the bed beside jisung. when he looks up, jisungs already shifted, the boxers gone from his chest, and chenles temper flares. he must've moved them while chenle was distracted.

jisungs smirks down at his phone, clearly enjoying how much that little move got under chenles skin. chenle swallows the irritation, pushing it down like it's nothing, even though it's everything; it means he's losing.

chenle gets back on jisungs lap, swinging his leg over again, but this time he's facing away from jisung, his back to the man. he sighs in a fake nonchalant way as he bends forward, and he hears a small gasp behind him- jisung hadn't expected that.

chenle hides his smirk as he reaches over to grab the bottle of lube, pouring some onto his fingers before pushing his ass further into the air. he reaches behind him, stroking a light finger up his hole and lets out a shaky breath, he hopes jisung is watching, though from here he can't really tell.

slowly, he sinks a finger into himself, letting out a quiet noise as he presses his head into the sheets between jisungs legs, using his spare hand to grab onto jisungs shin to keep himself steady. truthfully, he can't be bothered with this.

he just wants to be on jisungs cock already, but instead, he pushes his finger in deeper, twisting it in a way he knows will make him react. he grips jisungs leg harder as he drags his finger along his prostate, moaning gently, pressing harder, making his body squirm.

he hears jisungs breathing pick up behind him, and it only makes him more desperate, dragging his finger back out to push two in, spreading them immediately as they push up into him. he continues to spread his fingers as they work inside him, moaning and shaking lightly as he lets himself stretch, he feels his cock leak against jisungs thighs.

then he pulls his fingers out, panting as his body instinctively tries to chase them, but he's over it. he straightens up, shifting on jisungs lap until he's facing him again. when he glances back, jisung might still have his phone in hand, but his cheeks are flushed and his eyes are blown wide.

chenle scoffs quietly. so he was watching, after all.

"am i allowed to fuck you now?" chenle asks, shifting forward until he's hovering above jisung again. he watches as jisung bites his tongue, drawing in a slow breath before shrugging. "do what you want," he says, voice cool, like he's still pretending he doesn't care, like he hasn't been flustered this whole time.

but chenle sees right through him. "don't touch me," chenle says, lining himself up again. jisung smiles, cocky but breathless. "wasn't planning on it," he replies. chenle smirks, sinking down slowly, and he hears jisung let out a shaky breath- barely controlled, just like chenle wanted.

chenle puts on the whole show, letting his head fall back, a moan slipping past his lips, hands bunching up in jisungs hoodie. it only earns him a quiet scoff from the man beneath him. 

he sinks down all the way, until his ass is pressed flush against jisungs hips, settling there for a moment. he stays like that, breathing through it, adjusting around him. he swears jisung feels bigger than last time, but that might just be the position they're in.

then, he pulls his hips back up, rolling his body gently before sinking down again- a real gasp slipping from his lips this time, shuddering lightly. he's moving slow on purpose, even slower than he normally would, dragging desperate moans and breathy sighs from himself. 

he's only doing it because he knows jisung hates it. jisung likes it fast, intense, the kind of fucking where every thought disappears, replaced by pure sensation. chenle can see it in jisungs expression: impatience growing, barely concealed.

but for chenle, fast or slow both feel good, so he keeps grinding down on him relentlessly slow. the way jisungs cock drags inside him makes his eyes roll back, his stomach twist, and endless needy sounds slip from his lips.

jisung finally puts his phone down, leans back on the bed, eyes closing with a sigh. chenles mouth twitches into a smirk as he rolls his hips again. "you finally giving in?" chenle asks, jisung just shakes his head.

"i'm bored," he replies, and in any other situation chenle might've pushed himself off and told him the guy to go fuck himself. but this is jisung, and even though the words piss him off, he knows it's all just to get on chenles nerves.

still, in punishment, chenle stops moving, dissatisfaction bubbling up that he ignores as he crosses his arms. jisung cracks one eye open, eyebrow raised. "i'm just saying, you're not gonna get me cumming anytime soon."

chenle scoffs. "yeah? feel free to take over then, asshole." jisung shakes his head, leans back again, eyes closing. "nah, not into it." chenle huffs, hitting jisungs chest lightly with no real intention to hurt him.

he looks down at jisung lying there, still not moving. finally, he mutters, "fine," and pulls up and off jisung completely, settling back down on his thighs with arms still crossed tight against his chest.

jisungs head snaps up, eyes wide. "what're you doing?" he asks, chenle shrugs. "you weren't into it." he says softly, though he knows jisungs words were a lie; jisung didn't really want him to stop. chenle's just playing for a reaction, trying to win.

jisung scoffs, raising his eyebrows like he knows chenle isn't that easily offended. "just do what you want, le. i don't care." he says again, his silent way of telling chenle to keep going without actually saying it.

but chenle shakes his head, stubborn. "nah," he mocks, "not into it." using a deep, teasing voice to mimic jisung, which earns an amused laugh. "is this another attempt to get me to give in?" jisung asks. chenle swallows, blinking at him with a look that says maybe.

jisung rolls his eyes. "get back on, i'll help," he says. chenle smiles, feeling like he's won. so, he moves again, grabbing the base of jisungs cock and sinking down onto him again. he waits, expecting jisung to do something, but the man just smirks, nods, and says, "go on."

chenle shoots him a suspicious look, rolling his hips down again. jisung still doesn't move, just keeps smiling. chenles grin falters as he realizes he's been played; jisung isn't going to help him at all. chenle groans, throwing his head back, not in pleasure but in frustration.

"my thighs hurt," he tries, still grinding down, but jisung just shoots him a look straight out of jim halperts playbook. "you'll be alright," jisung says, moving his hands to massage chenles thighs lightly. chenle lets his head roll back, rubbing at his temples.

"i don't know how to do this," chenle tries again, voice strained. jisung laughs, low and teasing. "you've been doing it fine the entire time." chenle purses his lips, opening his mouth to protest, but jisung cuts him off with a soft, "come on, baby."

the nickname hits chenle like a punch to the chest. his eyes widen, cheeks flush deep red. a breathy moan slips out, and his hips roll involuntarily against jisung, hitting exactly the right spot. jisungs own quiet sound of pleasure follows immediately, and the air thickens between them.

"w-what did you call me?" chenle gasps, breath hitching as he thrusts down harder onto jisung. jisung chokes back a noise, fingers digging into chenles thighs. "it just slipped out-" he starts, but chenle cuts him off, speeding up.

"say it again," chenle demands, eyes rolling back as he picks up the pace, matching jisungs favorite rhythm. jisung laughs breathlessly, finally, finally, meets chenles movements with his own, thrusting up into him.

"you're doing so good, baby..." jisung murmurs low, and chenle shudders, a broken moan escaping as he surrenders the control he's had all night, letting jisung fuck up into him. his moaning gets more uncontrollable and loud as jisung continues to fuck relentlessly into him. 

jisung bends up, a hand pressing over chenles mouth. "shh," he whispers, still fucking up into him, keeping his position with an arm extended out behind him. chenles mouth opens against jisungs hand, letting muffled sounds escape against it, until he feels his stomach start to twist.

"i'm-" he mumbles, getting cut off by a moan, "...gonna cum," his head falls back, eyes roll. jisung continues to thrust into him, "go for it," he says, leaning back further and steadying the hand that was covering chenles mouth down to grip his hip, pressing him down further.

chenles eyes roll back as his breath hitches, and, with jisung still fucking him through it, cums all over his hoodie. he pants heavily, jisungs movements finally slowing to a halt. when chenle glances over at him, he catches the tight pull of a restrained smile- like jisungs trying to hold himself from thrusting right back up into chenle. 

chenle stays where he is for a moment, chest rising and falling as he catches his breath, before slowly lifting off with a quiet pop sound that makes both of them flinch.

he drops down beside jisung, eyes flicking over just in time to see the other boys hand moves to grip himself, thrusting into it faster than anything he'd given chenle, faster than the first time he and jisung had sex, and even chenle thought that was insanely fast. 

chenles jaw tightens at the sight; so he had been holding back, slightly. chenle wonders, not for the first time, if jisung will ever lose it completely with him, if he'll ever let go the way he clearly wants to. chenle really wants him to.

he watches as jisungs hips stutter, his breath catches, and cums bucket loads all over himself. chenles mouth waters as he watches, watching it pool on jisungs hoodie, he thinks about how he'll never move on from jisungs cum, that truth is undeniable.

jisung cums more, until finally, it stops and his hand stills. he closes his eyes and breathes heavily. chenle smiles, he thinks jisung looks gorgeous like this; absolutely fucked out.

finally, jisung looks over at him and smiles when he sees chenle already looking. "so much for not giving in," chenle teases through a breath. jisung snorts, rolling his eyes. "shut up," he mutters, exhaling like he's too tired to argue.

they don't talk about it. not when they strip off their messy hoodies, not when they crawl into bed, warm and tangled in each other, still flushed from everything that just happened.

they don't mention the word "boyfriend," or how easily it slipped from chenles mouth, don't acknowledge the way jisung had called him "baby" like it was second nature. it hangs there, soft and unspoken; something real, but not yet confirmed out loud.

finally, chenle goes to speak to jaemin.

"jaemi?" chenle calls out, knocking on the door to the boys room early the next morning. he hears immediate light giggling from inside, and then, "ah, ah, jisung! it feels so good! " jaemins voice rings out in a dramatic, ridiculous impression, clearly mocking him.

chenle swings the door open, eyes wide. "fuck off," he snaps, eyes darting between the two boys, who are now shaking with barely suppressed laughter. his heart is pounding, face flushed deep red, eyes still wide with horror.

"were you freaks listening?" he asks, already shaking his head in disbelief. "not intentionally," jaemin snorts, throwing a look at jeno, who's already doubled over laughing. "pretty sure the whole house heard, chenle," jeno adds.

chenle groans, pressing his palms to his face. "oh my god," he whines, dragging his hands down slowly like he might melt into the floor. "i'm gonna die." the two just keep laughing like it's the funniest thing they've ever witnessed.

"i'm not that loud, am i?" chenle asks, voice frantic. neither of them answers, just exchange a look and burst into fresh giggles; that tells chenle everything he needs to know. "this is so humiliating."

chenle drops onto the floor, landing right where jisung had once sat in his own despair, sighing dramatically. "so," jaemin says, finally coming down from his laughing fit, "you guys are official, then?"

chenle looks up at him with a pout, eyes big and miserable. "no," he says, shaking his head. jaemin and jeno exchange a look. "i mean, we confessed to each other like a week ago," chenle starts, fidgeting with his fingers, "and i called him my boyfriend, he called me baby, and we obviously had sex again, but-"

"again?" jeno blurts out, eyes wide. jaemin sighs and rolls his eyes at him. "get with the times," he mutters before turning back to chenle. "go on." chenle lets out a breath, a little smile tugging at his lips despite everything.

"but we're not dating. officially, i mean." jaemin scoffs. "why does nothing ever make sense with you and jisung?" chenle groans, his shoulders sinking as he flops fully onto the floor. "tell me about it."

"you could just ask him if he wants to date." jeno suggests with all the comfort of a brick. "that's the whole problem," chenle mutters into the floorboards. jaemin hums thoughtfully, swinging his legs down off the bed like he's about to deliver something profound.

"you should post a thirst trap. let him feel fear." chenle lifts his head, squinting at him. "what?" he replies blandly, the fans would love that. "you know," jaemin shrugs. "get all hot and pouty, wear something low cut, caption it like, 'could've been you.' make him spiral." chenle raises an eyebrow. "i already have him."

"do you?" jaemin asks with a knowing raise of his brow. jeno snorts. "this is the worst advice i've ever heard." he laughs. "thank you," jaemin says, beaming. "i try." chenle flops back down. "i'm so screwed."

"i was serious, chenle." jenos voice cuts through the spiral chenles been flopping around in, sharp and simple. chenle turns his head from where he's laying dramatically on the floor, cheek squished against the hardwood.

"ask him on a date," jeno says again, this time with a shrug, like it's the easiest thing in the world. "walk up to him, go 'hey jisung, do you want to go on a date with me?', and then take him to a movie and dinner." chenle scoffs, poking his tongue into the side of his cheek.

"what is this, a 2005 teen rom-com?" he bites, "maybe," jeno says, "but it works." jaemin leans over from the bed, propping his chin up with both hands. "and don't be weird about it," he adds. "no pretending it's casual. no 'this doesn't mean anything.' just, a date. like a normal person."

"that way," jeno says, nodding along, "he knows you're serious about the idea of being with him." chenle groans, rolling over onto his back like he's just been told to propose instead. "you guys make it sound so easy."

"because it is," jaemin and jeno say, nearly in unison. chenle sighs, eyes on the ceiling, lips twitching into something that almost looks like hope, not before flashing a knowing look over at jaemin for his hypocrisy. "fine. i'll do it." pause. "...eventually."

"god, you're insufferable," jaemin mutters.

they have a packed schedule that day, which makes it easy for chenle to dodge both older boys with a laugh, and a hand rubbing at the back of his neck. "i haven't seen him yet today!" he says every time, like it's some big coincidence.

but that only lasts until now.

the staff calls for him and jisung to film a dance challenge, just a quick snippet of back to the future for promo. normally, it's easy. something they've done a million times. but standing next to jisung now, chenle feels that awkward churn in his stomach.

they've already been asked to redo it a few times, staff wondering why the energys off. jisung keeps glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, clearly picking up on chenles weirdness; chenle pretends not to notice.

on their next take, they finally get it down, no weird fumbles, no mistimed moves, and chenle exhales as soon as they hit the final pose, ready to walk off. but then jisung steps in behind him, arms sliding around his waist and picking him up off the ground in one smooth motion.

"ah!" chenle squeals, caught off guard, but he's scoffing with a light laugh by the time jisung sets him down again. he turns, wide eyed and amused, staring at jisung like really? now?

"cute!" a voice calls, and chenle freezes, eyes flicking toward the staff, he kind of forgot they were still there. "i'm keeping that in." she giggles from behind the camera. chenle swallows, suddenly hyperaware.

"thanks boys, you're all good to go now," someone else adds with a smile. chenle doesn't say anything, just shoots jisung a side eye as they walk off. and jisung? jisung just grins like he knows exactly what he's doing, following behind chenle like a lost puppy.

chenle lets him follow a step behind all the way to the rest area, stopping briefly to grab a mug before heading to the coffee machine. as he waits, tapping a finger against the counter, jisung moves in again, arms slipping around chenles waist, chin settling on his shoulder like it's second nature.

"what's up with you?" chenle asks, leaning forward slightly to press the creamer button. jisung just shrugs. "just wanted to make sure you're okay." chenle turns his head, meeting his eyes, and gives a small nod. "i'm okay," he says, smiling gently.

 jisung isn't buying it. he pouts, like it physically pains him not to push further. "you're overthinking something," he says, certain. and he's right. chenle's been spinning over it for hours; how to ask him, when to do it, if jisung even wants a date. it's all there, knotted in his chest like string.

"yeah," he admits softly, letting his head fall back against jisungs shoulder. "i'll tell you soon." jisung nods, lifting his chin. maybe he thinks chenle means a conversation, something quiet and serious. chenle will tell him soon, sure, but not in the way jisung is expecting.

jisung leans in, pressing a soft kiss to chenles lips. it's warm, grounding, like he's saying i'm here whenever you're ready. chenle smiles into it, then leans forward to grab his coffee.

"everyone heard us last night, by the way," chenle says quietly, taking a small sip of his coffee. jisung chokes on air, coughing. "what?!" chenle stifles a laugh, reaching down to run his fingers along jisungs arm still wrapped around his waist.

"well, more me, i guess. jaemin and jeno were making fun of me this morning." jisung groans, smacking chenle lightly in the stomach. "i told you to shh."

"yeah, well, that clearly worked," chenle mutters, grinning. he opens his mouth to argue more, but the door swings open suddenly, making them both flinch. jisung steps away quickly, shifting to lean casually against the bench, just in time to see renjun walk in, throwing them both a disgusted look as he beelines to a nearby table.

jisung scoffs under his breath. chenle lets out an embarrassed sigh, voice dropping to a whisper. "i told you," he hiss-whispers, and jisung chuckles, entirely unrepentant.

chenle walks off toward the door renjun just came through, casting a glance back before he passes him. as he slips by, he reaches out to gently squeeze renjuns shoulder, leaning in just enough to mumble, "sorry, junie."

renjun doesn't say a word in response, but his suffering is loud, and if chenle was a tad bit meaner, it probably would've made him laugh a little.

"have you asked him yet?" jaemin asks, collapsing onto the couch next to chenle when they're finally back at the dorm.

chenle massages at his thighs. he may be a dancer, but he's not used to bouncing on them like he did the night before, and the muscles ache. "no," chenle mutters, pressing his thumb into a particularly painful spot.

jaemin gives him a look, one of exaggerated disappointment, and chenle scoffs. "what about you, hypocrite? when are you going to ask jeno out?" his voice stays quiet enough that no one passing by would hear.

jaemin looks away, tongue pressing into the inside of his cheek. "you know what," he says, crossing his arms, "i'll ask him when you ask jisung." chenles eyes widen. he jumps up off the couch, excitement lighting up his face.

"really?" he asks, already halfway turned around. jaemin nods, trying to look serious, even though there's obvious panic creeping in at the edges. "okay! i'm gonna go ask jisung now, then!" chenle announces, spinning on the ball of his foot as he starts toward the hallway.

jaemin gasps, scrambling up from the couch. "no! no, i was just joking!" he shouts after him. but chenle just smirks over his shoulder, ignoring him completely. if jaemin's going to say it, he better mean it.

he finds himself outside jisungs door, jaemin trailing nervously behind him. chenle knocks gently, even though he doesn't really need to- he knows jisung wouldn't care if he just walked in.

"who is it?" jisung calls from inside. "just me," chenle replies, casting a quick glance at jaemin. he hears a quiet "oh," followed by a delayed, "come in."

chenle swings the door open and finds jisung at his gaming chair, one side of his headset pulled off as he looks over, curious. "what's up?" jisung asks, eyes flicking back to the screen, making sure his character is tucked safely away from any threat.

"uh," chenle starts, noticing the game overlay with an open voice chat. he hesitates for only a second before stepping forward. "do you want to go on a date with me?" he watches as jisungs eyes widen, face turning bright red. jisung glances toward the screen, like realizing the others can hear, before turning back.

"a date?" he repeats, clearly flustered. chenle nods, biting his bottom lip to keep calm. "yeah." a smile spreads slowly over jisungs face, shy and genuine. he nods, still a little red. "of course."

chenle beams, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to jisungs lips, then pulls back and whispers, "i'll leave you alone now..." but when he turns to go, jisung grabs his wrist. chenle blinks back at him, confused, until jisung leans up slightly and puckers his lips.

chenle scoffs quietly, but leans back down, kissing him again, longer this time, before finally pulling away. he watches jisung fight a smile, cheeks flushed. "bye," chenle whispers. "bye," jisung echoes, just as softly.

he closes the door behind him with a soft click, the smile on his face a lot more genuine than the teasing one he wore earlier. across the hall, jaemin frowns at him dramatically, arms crossed like a sulking child.

"your turn," chenle says, voice light with triumph. jaemin shakes his head instantly, dread smeared across every inch of his expression. "i was bluffing," he says, already backing away. "i didn't think you were actually going to do it yet."

chenle just grins wider. "well, i did. so..." he pauses, eyes twinkling. "go on, romeo. jeno awaits." he says, giving jaemin a shove. jaemin immediately resists, grabbing onto the nearest door frame like his life depends on it. "i hate you," he hisses, dragging his feet while chenle pushes from behind, cackling the whole way.

they stop outside jaemins room, and jaemin turns to him with the look of a man walking to his doom. "what if he says no? or gets weirded out? or-" he shakes his head in horror. "we share a room, chenle. that would be so awkward."

"just sleep in my room, then. it's not like i'm ever in there anyway," chenle shrugs. jaemin pouts, shoulders tense with nerves, and chenles smile softens. "i'm not forcing you, jaem. but i just know you'll regret it if you never say anything."

jaemin stares at the door, then back at chenle. "if this ruins my life, i'm blaming you," he mutters, lips pressed into a thin line. "deal," chenle grins.

he watches as jaemin takes a deep, grounding breath, then turns the handle and slips inside like he hasn't just been panicking for the last ten minutes. the door stays cracked, probably to allow chenle to eavesdrop.

inside, jeno looks up from his phone, relaxing in bed with a soft laugh. "what're you doing?" he asks, amused, raising an eyebrow at jaemin, who's standing frozen a step into the room like it's unfamiliar territory.

jaemin glances down at the floor, fists clenched at his sides. "i need to ask you something," he says, voice tight. the sudden seriousness has jeno straightening, his expression shifting into something more concerned.

"sure, what's up?" jaemin keeps his eyes locked on the floor, steadying his breath like he's about to confess to a crime. then finally, he lifts his head. "do you want to go out with me?" he asks, voice trembling but clear.

jeno stares. his eyes widen just slightly, like his brain is running diagnostics. "like... on a date?" he asks, cautious. jaemin nods, cheeks already flushed. "yeah.. on a date or something."

the silence that follows feels endless. jaemin swears he hears a clock ticking somewhere even though there isn't one. he's already preparing excuses, "just a dare from chenle", "was helping him practice" something, anything to crawl out of this if he has to.

but then, "really?" jeno asks, voice softer. jaemin swallows the lump in his throat and nods again. "yeah." jeno chokes on air. he blinks rapidly before a crooked little smile tugs at his mouth.

"i mean, yeah," he says, nodding back, almost sheepish. "i'd be down." jaemin exhales for what feels like the first time in minutes, a stunned smile creeping onto his face. from the hallway, chenle pumps a victorious fist into the air in total silence.

"okay.." jaemin says, nodding quickly, already stepping backward toward the door like he might bolt. "i'm just, uh-" he gestures vaguely over his shoulder, "...gonna shower." jeno chuckles, watching him with an amused smile. "don't forget your pjs."

jaemin snaps his fingers like he definitely would've forgotten, rushes to his bed to grab them, then turns and practically sprints out the door like the room is on fire. outside, chenle's waiting, barely holding in a giggle. 

when jaemin looks at him, wide eyed and pale like he just escaped a near death experience, chenle beams. "you fucking did it, jaem!" he whispers excitedly. jaemin just nods, stunned. "i'm gonna faint," he says, clutching his clothes to his chest like they're the only things grounding him to reality.

chenle thinks it's the funniest thing in the world.

about an hour or two later, chenle finds himself creeping down the hallway back to jisungs room, slipping through the door silently and pressing it closed with exaggerated care. "hey," jisung mumbles from where he's curled under his blanket, voice thick with sleep.

"hi," chenle whispers back, tiptoeing to the bed like he's sneaking into somewhere he shouldn't be, which earns him a soft laugh from jisung. he climbs under the covers, settling close, and jisungs arm naturally wraps around his waist, holding him there.

"so... a date, huh?" jisung asks after a moment, voice quieter, teasing but warm. chenle swallows, nestling closer into the curve of his body. "that's what people who like each other do, right?" he murmurs.

"yeah, they do," jisung agrees, exhaling gently through his nose. there's a small pause before he adds, "some of 127 know now. and mark." he says it carefully, like he's not sure how chenle will take it.

"what did they say?" chenle asks, not moving from his place against jisungs chest. jisung shrugs, his fingers idly tracing lines along chenles back. "that it was about time." chenle lets out a soft laugh, muffled against jisungs hoodie. "silly," he whispers.

"yeah," jisung says, pressing a light kiss into chenles hair. "but they're not wrong." chenle hums at the kiss, eyes fluttering shut for a second as he soaks in the moment.

the warmth of the room, the softness of jisungs shirt against his cheek, the gentle rise and fall of jisungs chest beneath his head. he feels safe here, like everything outside this tiny bubble of soft sheets and hushed voices doesn't really matter.

"so... when is this date?" jisung asks after a beat, his voice low and curious. chenle pulls back slightly to look at him, their faces just inches apart in the dark. "we're scheduling now?" he teases, one brow raised.

"i just want to be prepared. maybe get you flowers, dress like a gentleman," jisung says, clearly joking, but his eyes have that unmistakable shine, soft and sincere under the humor. chenle laughs, nudging their noses together before whispering, "you don't need to do anything special."

"i want to," jisung replies, like it's obvious. chenle blinks, stunned for a second by how easy it is with jisung. how natural. "okay," he says, voice quieter now. "friday? after schedules?" jisung nods without hesitation. "friday," he repeats, and then, with a smirk, "don't be late. i might fall in love." 

"don't pretend like you haven't already," chenle shoots back, mainly joking, smirking into the kiss he leans in to steal. it's soft, short, but full of something unspoken that makes both their chests ache. 

they lie like that for a while, tangled up, heartbeats steadying. chenle plays with the hem of jisungs sleeve, thumb brushing back and forth as the silence settles into something comforting. "hey," jisung murmurs, half asleep already. "mm?"

"i'm glad you asked." chenles lips curve against jisungs collarbone. "me too." they don't say anything after that. they just stay close, until the room is quiet, save for the soft rhythm of breath and the steady thrum of something a little more confirmed between them.

"i need date ideas," chenle whispers during what's meant to be a vocal lesson, but somehow, the group has ended up in the music room instead, messing around on instruments and producing what might be the most terrible sounds a band has ever made.

jaemin nods, glancing toward jeno and jisung, who are strumming wildly out of tune guitars and singing a song that barely matches the melody. "same," he sighs, then turns back to chenle.

"when's yours?" he asks. chenle presses a random piano key between them, the note loud and slightly dissonant. "friday," he answers. jaemin scoffs and presses the next key beside it. "same here," he says, finding it funny that they both picked the same day.

"what about that one restaurant hyuck keeps talking about?" chenle suggests, his eyebrows raising as he presses another piano key, this one louder and more off-key than the last. both of them flinch at the noise. "the one with the rooftop view and the little lanterns?"

jaemin tilts his head, considering. "true," he says thoughtfully, glancing over just in time to catch jeno trying, and failing, to hit a high note. "jeno likes pretty lights," he adds with a smile, already pulling out his phone to check for reservations.

for a while, they fall into a comfortable silence, tapping at the piano in an unspoken, clunky rhythm- neither of them caring enough to make it sound good. "i still don't know what to do with jisung, though," chenle mutters eventually, brows pulled together. "everything i think of just feels... off," he sighs, fingers slipping off the keys and resting in his lap.

jaemin sets his phone down and glances over. "it's not like we've ever been all that romantic," he admits, looking over at the smiling boy that he likes too much. "but then doing something like going to the movies just feels too casual." he frowns.

"you two have done, like, fifty chenji this and that episodes," jaemin teases. "what did he enjoy the most? maybe start there." chenle hums, thinking, then slouches. "he genuinely likes everything."

"then don't overthink it. he'll like anything you choose." jaemin reassures, "whatever. as long as i get my shit rocked afterwards." chenle mutters, pressing a random key. jaemin laughs so loud in response that it startles the others, jeno and jisung both pause to joking glare at them. 

"some of us are trying to make art here," jeno says, holding his guitar upside down. "good luck with that," chenle snorts, nudging jaemin in the ribs. "god, i want him," jaemin sighs, nearly drooling. "be so fucking serious." chenle replies with a glare.

then it's friday, schedules are finally over, and chenle finds himself staring himself down in the mirror like he's trying to win an argument with his own reflection. his foot taps restlessly against the tile, nerves crawling under his skin like they've been waiting for this exact moment to pounce.

his mind is a mess of every thought he's already cycled through a dozen times before even confessing to jisung. what if it doesn't work? what if they're only good at kissing and touching and falling asleep in the same bed, but not good at being in love? what if it fizzles out the moment they try to be something real?

he knows it's more than that. it's more than the cum, the sex, more than late night giggles and tangled limbs. he likes jisung, loves him, maybe, and he knows jisung feels the same. that should be enough. it should.

but then there's the rest of it. the online presence, the public; what if fans see them together and start speculating? would they even care? it's not strange to be seen with another member, especially jisung. they've been joined at the hip for years. but still- what if?

the questions don't stop. they churn, rise in his throat, dizzy him with their weight. what if it's awkward? what if he messes it up? what if jisung changes his mind?

that stupid, overwhelming fear, that it'll all fall apart the second they try to take this seriously, settles deep into chenles chest again, a familiar ache that makes him grip the edge of the sink and breathe through his nose until his head stops spinning.

he just hopes that when he sees jisung, some of that noise quiets. even if it's just a little.

it does.

he's dressed in sleek black pants and a maroon top that fits too well for how nervous he feels when he finally knocks on jisungs door. the reservation time for the restaurant he booked is creeping up, and he's already played out at least five worst case scenarios in his head. but then the door swings open, and everything stills.

jisung stands there, leaning casually against the frame, a half smile on his lips and a bouquet of dark red roses dangling loosely from his hand. he looks gorgeous, too gorgeous. almost unfair.

he's in all black, no surprise there, but the way his dress pants cling just right, the way his button down is tucked and just low enough at the chest, the way his hair is styled back instead of falling into his face like usual- it all makes chenles stomach flip. 

jisungs eyes, sharp and dark under the hallway light, rake down the length of him like they've never seen each other before, like this is new. "these are for you," jisung says, holding the roses out between them like it's no big deal, like he doesn't look that good.

chenle has to look away to hide the grin that overtakes him. he takes the bouquet gently. "i told you you didn't have to go all out," he says, scoffing softly as he brings the flowers up to his nose. jisungs smile grows, crooked and smug. "you look too good for me not to."

chenle has to physically stop himself from pouncing on jisung right then and there.

he takes in a shaky breath, nerves fluttering beneath his skin for reasons he can't quite explain. jisungs voice is quiet when he speaks. "you ready to go?" chenle nods, holding up the bouquet. "just let me put these away first..."

jisung nods, and their hands find each other naturally as they move down the hall, fingers threading together like they've done it a hundred times before. jisung walks just a step behind, casual as ever, one hand in his pocket while the other stays locked in chenles.

they step into chenles room, and as he places the flowers gently onto his bed, jisungs hand slips from his to find his waist, drawing in close behind him. he presses his face into the crook of chenles neck like he belongs there.

"you smell good," jisung mumbles. chenle glances at the expensive perfume bottle on his nightstand, the one he only ever uses for big moments, and scoffs.

"save it," chenle says, turning to face him with a smirk as he gives a light push to jisungs chest. "we have dinner to get to, not a bed to fall into." jisung raises his brows, smirking back with a shrug that feigns innocence, like he hadn't just tried to make chenle melt. 

he watches as chenle turns on his heel and walks out the door without so much as a glance back, leaving only the faintest scent of cologne in his wake. jisung lets out a quiet laugh, shaking his head as he trails after him. figures- chenle always gets the last word.

jaemin and jeno had already left earlier, both dressed to the nines, looking like a couple ripped from a romance movie. their car had been waiting at the curb, and now, the same sleek black van sits quietly behind the building, engine running low and soft. chenle and jisung slip inside without a word, the tinted windows offering privacy from the world outside.

they settle into the leather seats, and the van pulls away, gliding smoothly onto the main road as the city unfolds before them in golden hues and neon signs. it's beautiful- busier than usual, alive in a way that makes everything feel electric. or maybe it's not the city at all, maybe it's jisung.

chenle's not really watching the buildings blur past or the blinking streetlights. instead, his eyes drift to where jisungs hand rests quietly on his thigh, thumb brushing lightly through the fabric in a way that doesn't feel flirtatious or teasing, it's just... there. simple, casual, and warm.

and yet, it lights something under chenles skin.

this time, it isn't charged or possessive. it's something softer, something that feels more like this is mine than i want this. like the kind of touch you'd give someone you've been with for years, like he's not just with the chenle he's been friends with for years but with someone he truly loves.

and that, more than anything, makes chenles chest ache in the best way possible. the entire ride, he can't stop smiling, can't stop the flutter in his stomach that refuses to settle. he glances out the window again, just to have somewhere to look, but nothing in the city is half as distracting as the boy beside him.

"what restaurant did you choose?" jisung asks gently, his voice low and warm as he looks over at chenle. chenle turns to meet his gaze and feels his heart skip for what must be the fifth time tonight. 

it's funny, he's seen jisung dressed up countless times before, for stages and interviews and dance showcases. but this time is different, jisung is dressed up for him.

"that's a secret," chenle replies with a teasing smile, giving a light shrug of his shoulder. jisung scoffs but squeezes chenles thigh gently before looking out the window again. the casual touch makes warmth spread through chenles chest like honey.

they're nearly there, chenle can tell by the scenery, and when the van finally pulls up outside the restaurant, it looks even more elegant than it did in the photos- like something out of a dream. 

warm lighting glows from tall windows, golden against the dark city night. a pair of sharply dressed waiters stand at the entrance, ready to greet guests. the van door slides open, and jisung groans softly at the formality. chenle just smirks, slipping out first.

"name for the reservation, sir?" one of the waiters asks, a sleek tablet in hand, his tone poised and professional. chenle steps to jisungs side, sliding in close enough to feel the warmth of him as he says, "it should be under park jisung."

he hears the huff of air jisung lets out, half laugh, half complaint, and resists the urge to grin wider. he doesn't look at him. he doesn't have to, he can feel the glare. "of course," the waiter says, tapping the screen before stepping to the side with a graceful hand gesture. "right this way, please."

the two follow, stepping into a restaurant that looks like it belongs in a film set in a different tax bracket entirely. velvet red tones, dark wooden panels, and tall ceilings make it feel both intimate and endless. there's quiet music humming in the background, and the guests scattered around the room look like they own offshore accounts and black cards.

chenle catches the way jisung subtly raises an eyebrow, like he's wondering if they've stumbled into the wrong place. he leans in close and whispers, "act rich.", even though their own bank balances reach well into 6 figures, and chenle has spent his entire life with more money than he's ever needed, jisung smirks.

they're led through the velvet haze to a private booth tucked near a large window, soft candlelight flickering gently on the table. two menus are placed in front of them with a bow before the waiter disappears as smoothly as he arrived.

jisung picks up the menu and lets out a low laugh, scanning the items. "this place is insane, le," jisung says, his eyes scanning over the prices like they just personally offended him.

chenle leans back slightly in the plush booth seat, propping an elbow on the table and watching jisung with a crooked smile. "only the best for my not-boyfriend," he teases, punctuating it with a dramatic flutter of his eyelashes.

jisung snorts, setting the menu down with a quiet thud. "you're lucky you're cute. if you weren't, i'd be making you split this bill." chenle scoffs, "please," chenle says, lifting his water glass to his lips, "you wish you could afford me."

jisung grins, shaking his head as he leans forward, resting his forearms on the table. the candlelight flickers between them, casting soft shadows across his face. "no, you're right," he says softly, "you're kind of priceless."

chenle freezes for just a second, caught off guard by the unexpected sincerity. it's subtle, but it's there. the way jisungs expression softens, the way his fingers play idly with the corner of his napkin, the way he's suddenly looking at chenle like he's the only person in the room.

maybe he is.

after they place their orders, there's a lull, not awkward but instead easy, filled with quiet glances and the occasional shared smile. the waiter pours their drinks and leaves, and jisung watches the bubbles rise in his glass for a second before speaking.

"you know," he says, swirling the drink lightly, "i wasn't sure how this was gonna feel. like... being on a date with you." chenle blinks at him, so jisung felt the same way. "and?" jisung looks up, eyes steady and calm. "it feels right."

chenle doesn't say anything at first. he just nods slowly, because he doesn't trust his voice not to shake. instead, he reaches across the table, palm up, and jisung places his hand in it without hesitation.

under the golden candlelight, fingers entwined, all chenle can think is: please let this work. and something about the way jisung squeezes his hand, just once, firm and grounding, tells him it will.

the dinner goes how things have always gone between the two, fancy or not. talking with mouth fulls, chenle teasing jisung, loud laughter. it doesn't feel any different than it usually does, which is exactly what both boys hoped for.

it's not awkward. it's not weird, or uncomfortable, or forced. it's just... normal. it's them, sharing a way too expensive meal, talking about the most random things that pop into their heads. like which animal they would win in a fight against, or if fruits have politics, or if aliens would enjoy kpop (chenle says they would, because if jisung does, it only makes sense for them to as well).

and it's easy, dangerously easy. like they've always been doing this. chenle is still judging jisung about his theory that pigeons are just government drones with really good improv skills when the waiter comes by to collect their plates.

"anything else for you two?" he asks politely, a towel folded neatly over one arm. chenle is mid sentence, already shaking his head. "no, i think we're-"

"actually," jisung interrupts, sitting up a little straighter, "can we get another glass of champagne?" the waiter nods with a professional smile. "of course." he's already turning to leave before chenle can recover from his surprise.

chenle leans back in his chair, eyeing jisung with amused suspicion. "are you trying to get me drunk?" he asks, lips quirking into a smirk. jisung rolls his eyes, but the corners of his mouth tug upward. "you're not gonna get drunk off two champagnes," he says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world, but his voice shakes a little.

chenle shrugs, eyes still on jisung. the waiter returns swiftly, placing two fresh glasses of champagne in front of them with a quiet, "enjoy," before stepping away.

chenle reaches for his glass, but jisung gently catches his wrist. "wait, uh-" jisung says, voice a little unsure, like he's still deciding whether or not to speak. chenle pauses, fingers still curled around the stem, then slowly lowers the glass back to the table.

he looks at jisung with quiet patience, eyebrows raised just enough to say, go on.

jisung takes a breath. "i wanted to say something," he starts, awkwardly laughing at himself. "i probably should've said it when you first told me you liked me." he swallows hard, his fingers twitching slightly on the table. "but... i was scared. i didn't know if you really meant it."

chenles chest tightens, the air around them suddenly too still. he doesn't speak, he just nods once, letting jisung continue. "but now i do," jisung says. his voice steadies as he continues, looking directly into chenles eyes.

"i think i started liking you the day you joined nct in 2016. you didn't speak a word of korean, and you just wandered around saying 'hello' to literally everyone like it was the only thing you knew how to do." chenle lets out a scoff, the memory flaring in his chest; warm and a little embarrassing. 

jisung smiles at the reaction, but it falters a little as he continues. "i never told you how i felt because i was scared of losing you," he says, more quietly now. "but now? i don't care if it's selfish. i don't want to let you go."

his hand reaches out across the table, brushing against chenles like he's still not sure he's allowed to hold it. chenle lets him. jisung swallows again, like the words are caught in his throat.

"zhong chenle, will you be my boyfriend?"

the question hangs in the air between them, loud despite the hushed tone. chenle lets out a soft scoff, trying, failing, to play it cool as his lips twitch and his eyes glisten. he looks away, presses his tongue to the inside of his cheek to keep it together. "obviously," he whispers, voice cracking slightly at the edges.

when he turns back, there's no point pretending anymore. his expression gives everything away; relief, joy, disbelief, all tangled up with the beginnings of tears. jisung smiles so wide it looks like it might hurt. he gives chenles hand a squeeze. "good," he says, softly. "because i was actually gonna cry if you said no."

chenle laughs, shaking his head and wiping at his eyes quickly with the back of his free hand. "i can't believe this all started because of fucking cum," he mutters, and they both laugh, maybe a little too loud.

but neither of them cares. because this, right now, is everything they've been building toward, and now it's real.

the meal is paid for- by jisung, of course, despite chenle smacking his arm and insisting that he's perfectly capable of covering his share. jisung had only grinned, brushing off the protest with a kiss to chenles cheek and a mumbled, "let me spoil you, just this once."

now, they're stepping out into the cool seoul night, the soft glow of streetlights flickering along the sidewalk. jisungs hand rests gently at the small of chenles back, guiding him toward the waiting black van.

"hey," chenle says quietly, leaning in close so his words don't drift past jisungs ear. jisung glances down at him, one eyebrow raised in curiosity. "wanna get a hotel?" chenle asks, voice low and playful, lips quirking into a smirk.

jisung lets out a breathy chuckle, the kind that says i knew this was coming. "scared of being heard again?" he teases, offering a polite thank you to the restaurant staffer holding the van door open.

chenle slides into the car smoothly, eyes glinting with mischief. "i think you should be the one who's scared, park jisung," he shoots back, adjusting his shirt like he's preparing for battle. jisung scoffs with a grin, climbing in beside him. he leans forward toward the driver. "can you take us to the grand hyatt, please?"

chenle watches the driver nod and pull smoothly into traffic, then turns toward jisung with a playful snort. "fancy," he teases. jisung doesn't miss a beat; he leans in close, voice low against chenles ear, "only the best for my boyfriend."

his words come with a smirk that sends heat crawling up chenles neck. and for a moment, chenle just stares at him, because this night, this boy, this feeling, it's all a little too much and just right all at once.

"you're ridiculous," chenle mutters, shaking his head. "you're into it," jisung replies, fingers brushing along chenles thigh. yeah, he is. he really, really is.

the hotel is even more luxurious than the restaurant. polished marble floors, glimmering chandeliers, and the kind of quiet that feels expensive. chenle takes it all in with wide eyes, a strange warmth blooming in his chest despite the sleek coldness of the lobby.

he feels spoiled, ridiculously so. even though this whole night was his idea, even though he's the one who chose the restaurant and suggested the hotel in the first place, it still feels like jisung is the one sweeping him off his feet.

he trails just behind as jisung steps up to the front desk, speaking politely to the receptionist. chenle watches him, every little thing: the calm cadence of his voice, the slight furrow of his brow when she assumes they need two beds, the sheepish laugh he lets out when he gently corrects her.

"just one's fine," jisung says, eyes flicking briefly to chenle, lips twitching into a shy smile.

chenle can't help it, he grins, gaze raking over jisung from head to toe. from the way his black dress shirt clings to his frame, to the way his fingers move smoothly as he pulls out his card, casually covering the bill like it's nothing, like he hasn't spend nearly five hundred dollars tonight just on chenle.

he watches jisung collect the keycard, thank the woman with a nod, and turn back toward him with a grin that's all boyish pride and gentle nerves. and in that moment, chenle realizes: jisung has no idea what he's in for.

chenle starts off tame.

as soon as the elevator doors slide shut behind them, he backs jisung against the mirrored wall with a confident ease, fingers already toying with the top button of jisungs shirt. his hands drift up, fingertips grazing bare skin with featherlight touches, lips brushing slowly against the curve of jisungs neck.

jisung exhales, fingers curling around chenles waist like a reflex. "chenle," he warns softly, "wait until we're in the room." but chenle just hums against his skin, pulling back to meet jisungs eyes with a look that's nothing short of sinful, mouth parted, tongue lazily rolling over his top teeth.

"how's your stamina?" he murmurs, pressing his palms flat against jisungs chest, trailing them slowly down the hard lines of his torso. jisung takes a breath, trying to play it cool. "decent," he says, voice a little lower now.

chenles eyes flick to where his hands hover over jisungs abs, then back up again, dark and deliberate. "good," he whispers, smile curling at the edges of his lips. "you're gonna need it."

when the hotel door finally clicks shut behind them, chenle doesn't pounce like jisung half expects him to.

instead, he stands just inside the doorway, watching as jisung walks deeper into the room, elegant and slow, like he owns the place. jisung drops down onto the edge of the massive bed, legs spread in a way that's definitely intentional, bracing himself with his hands behind him. 

he looks up through his lashes, inviting without saying a word. chenle rolls his neck, unhurried, fingers finding the buttons of his shirt and undoing the first one deliberately slow. jisungs gaze tracks every movement, lips parting just slightly.

"mm," chenle hums, eyes dropping to his own hands, pausing on the next button. "i'm gonna take a shower." his eyes lift just in time to catch the flash of disappointment that crosses jisungs face before it's quickly masked by something cooler, more unreadable.

"are you?" jisung asks, cocking his head as he leans further back, the lines of his body draped across the bed like temptation itself. "i am," chenle confirms, voice light, calm. he lets his hands still on his shirt, smirking as he looks jisung over. 

"don't fall asleep on me." jisung scoffs, sucking his teeth with a click, one brow raising like a dare. "depends how long your shower is." chenle laughs under his breath, stepping back toward the bathroom. 

"you'll want to stay awake for this one," he calls over his shoulder, disappearing behind the door with one final glance, sharp and promising.

the first thing chenle does when he steps into the bathroom, after turning on the water and letting the steam begin to curl around the space, is shoot jaemin a quick text.

chenle: just letting u know me and jisung aren't coming home tonight so don't panic lol
chenle: also if ur not busy can u pls put the flowers on my bed into a vase <3 ty

he sets his phone down on the counter and looks at himself in the mirror, the soft light and foggy edges of steam starting to blur his reflection. it reminds him a little of how he felt before the date- standing in front of a different mirror, head full of nerves and what-ifs.

except now, the thoughts running through him aren't anxious. they're filthy. disgustingly filthy. he thinks about jisungs hands, jisungs mouth, jisungs voice in his ear, low and rough. the way he'll look when chenle finally gets to pull him apart.

he grins at himself, biting back a laugh. his phone buzzes on the counter, screen lighting up with a reply.

jaemin: okay girl get ur dick!! unfortunately i cannot relate
jaemin: and yup i'll do that now :p

chenle snorts, shaking his head fondly as he replies with a bunch of heart emojis before finally stepping into the shower. his body still buzzing with excitement, skin already aching for jisungs touch.

the real reason chenle steps into the shower isn't to wash his hair or scrub off the night; it's to prep himself. he has a plan, a very specific one, for how he wants tonight to go, and having to pause halfway through to bend over and stretch himself out definitely isn't part of it.

he wants it to be seamless and uninterrupted. he wants to surprise jisung, to take control before begging jisung to fuck him with no mercy, to leave no room for hesitation. the heat of the water helps him relax, both physically and mentally, and as the steam fogs up the glass, he smiles to himself.

yeah, he knows exactly what he's doing. he's going to ruin his boyfriend.

it takes only ten minutes before chenle is out of the shower again, hole stretched out perfectly, skin still damp and warm, a robe hanging loosely from his shoulders- untied, framing him more than it hides him. his hair is wet and messy, his eyes are already dark with anticipation and his his head is clouded with horniness.

when he steps into the room, jisung is still fully dressed, lounging casually on the bed, scrolling through his phone with a hand palming gently against his clothed cock. chenle doesn't say anything. he just climbs onto the bed slowly, one knee sinking into the mattress, eyes locked on jisungs. 

he perks up the moment he sees chenle, lips twitching into something fond, interested. he moves between jisungs legs with deliberate ease, the silk of his robe parting slightly with each movement.

jisung watches him with a quiet kind of hunger, setting his phone aside, like he's been waiting for this- like he's been waiting for chenle. when chenle leans in to kiss him, jisung immediately responds, lips parting, but chenle only smirks and ghosts past them, trailing an open mouthed kiss along his jaw. 

jisungs breath stutters, his hands finding chenles waist beneath the robe, fingers pressing against his warm skin. "missed me?" chenle whispers, teasing and light. jisung just nods, hands tightening around him.

jisungs breath hitches, but he doesn't move. his hands stay on chenles waist, warm and steady, thumbs brushing faint circles into his skin. chenle doesn't pull away either, hovering close enough for their breaths to mingle, for the moment to stretch long and thin.

"you're doing this on purpose," jisung mutters, voice low, rough around the edges. "doing what?" chenle murmurs, tilting his head like he's innocent, though the smirk tugging at his lips says otherwise. jisung huffs, "you know exactly what."

chenle leans in again, brushing his lips lightly against jisungs cheek, then his temple, slow and maddening. he presses his waist further against jisungs, deliberately gentle, and feels the way jisungs fingers tighten around his hips in response.

"i wanna," he says, a hand finds its way to jisungs clothed cock, gripping lightly, "make you cum over," he says, pressing a kiss right next to jisungs ear, "and over again." he whispers seductively, pressing his palm harder against jisung.

jisungs breath hitches, he swallows, "and then i want you to fuck me like you've never needed anything more in your entire life." jisung exhales hard, head falling back against the headboard for a moment. "you're evil."

"if you want me to stop," chenle whispers against his ear, "just say so." he says, biting jisungs earlobe. "but i don't plan on giving up until i'm satisfied." he mutters, letting his fingers trail down the buttons of jisungs shirt without undoing a single one.

he sits back slightly, hands pressed against jisungs chest, just enough distance between them now to feel the tension like a live wire. jisung looks up at him, eyes darker than before, jaw clenched like he's trying to keep himself from doing something stupid.

"you're playing a dangerous game," jisung says quietly. chenle just smiles, slow and satisfied. 

he leans down again, finally pressing his lips to jisungs. the kiss is soft at first, a gentle meeting of mouths that deepens slowly as jisung sighs into it. chenles fingers work at the buttons of jisungs shirt, deliberate and slow, as if savoring every moment.

each button gives way to more of jisungs skin, warm under chenles fingertips, and by the time the last one is undone, he's pulling back just enough to catch his breath; his eyes locked on jisungs as his hands untuck the shirt, brushing knuckles against bare skin.

he leans down again, not to kiss, but to suck gently against jisungs lower stomach, just above the waistband of his pants. jisungs breath catches, and his hand tightens slightly against chenles shoulder.

chenle lingers there, smiling against jisungs skin, letting the tension grow between them like a slow burn. his hands drift to the belt at jisungs waist, fingers toying with the buckle- not rushing, just holding the moment. the room is quiet except for the sound of their breathing, heavy with anticipation.

"you're really something, you know that?" jisung murmurs, voice low and warm. chenle looks up at him through his lashes, eyes sparkling with mischief and affection. "yeah?" he whispers, voice teasing, soft. "you haven't even seen anything yet."

chenles fingers make quick work of the belt, his gaze never straying from jisungs, face gleaming with playfulness, his grin nothing short of devilish. he lets the moment linger, hand slipping down to the waistband of jisungs pants, thumb tracing along the seam in slow, teasing strokes.

then, without breaking eye contact, he leans in.

instead of reaching for the zipper with his hand, he takes it gently between his teeth, the metal cold against his lips. his smirk deepens, eyes still locked on jisungs as he slowly pulls the zipper down, the sound sharp in the quiet room. 

there's a silent challenge in his expression, one that says he knows exactly what he's doing. jisungs breath catches, his fingers twitching at his sides, and chenle just hums like he's pleased with the reaction.

jisungs eyebrow quirks, his hand rising to chenles neck, fingers brushing through his hair like he's grounding himself. chenle leans forward, pressing another kiss just above jisungs waistband, slow and deliberate. he doesn't rush, instead, he lets the moment stretch, each movement deliberate as he slides the fabric down his hips.

once they're off, chenle leans in again, lips brushing against jisungs ankle, then trailing soft kisses upward, calf, knee, thigh. jisung watches him, head tilted back against the pillow, his chest rising with anticipation.

by the time chenle reaches jisungs inner thigh, he pauses, hovering there, he lifts his head slowly, eyes meeting jisungs again with a smirk. "comfortable?" he teases, voice low. jisung swallows, fingers tightening in chenles hair. "getting there," he murmurs, and his voice is already breathless.

he takes jisung half hard dick in his hand, stroking lightly, before moving his head up to it, letting spit fall from his mouth right onto the tip, jisung lets out a shuddered breath. chenle brings his hand up, thumb smearing the spit in, then drags it slowly down the side, deliberate and teasing.

he starts jisung off slow at first, his grip firm, hand twisting and stroking just the way jisung likes it. he watches the mans face twist, eyes dropping to chenles hand, jaw slack with pleasure, and chenle smiles, picking up the pace with a steady rhythm.

"fuck," jisung whispers, voice wrecked, "you're so good at this." he sounds breathless, almost in awe. chenle hums against the praise, leaning up to press his mouth against jisungs. jisung kisses him back immediately, mouth open, tongue pushing in to taste him, all while chenle keeps stroking him fast, hot, relentlessly.

his pace doesn't slow, just like how jisungs wouldn't if he were doing this to himself, and jisung moans softly into his mouth, breath hot and uneven. chenle smiles against his lips. "good?" he murmurs, voice low, lips brushing against jisungs as he speaks.

jisung hums, almost a whimper, nodding faintly like he can't form real words. it makes something stir deep in chenles chest, satisfaction mixing with something softer, warmer. he keeps going, stroking him and kissing him, letting the rhythm take over. 

every small reaction from jisung is like fuel, every gasp, every twitch of his hips, every shaky breath against chenles cheek. it drives him forward. he doesn't even think about himself, doesn't care about his own need. this, jisungs body under his hands, the way he trembles, the way he falls apart, this is more than enough.

jisungs arms wrap weakly around his shoulders, fingers digging in as if to anchor himself. chenle can feel how close he is, how his muscles tighten, how his breathing gets quicker, higher, more erratic.

finally, jisung gasps, voice broken and shaking. his body thrusts up into chenles touch, tension curling through every limb. "i'm gonna cum," he whispers into chenles mouth, barely audible, almost desperate. 

chenle pulls back just slightly, just enough to watch it happen. his eyes drop down to jisungs dick, still working him through it with practiced fingers. his hand doesn't falter, not even a little. he wants to see every second of it.

chenle watches jisung cum, it shoots out all over his torso- some even hitting his face. his eyes are rolled back, body jerking uncontrollably, and chenle smiles. he keeps stroking through it, slow and steady, and even when jisung finally stops cumming, a minute or two later, chenles hand doesn't let up.

his wrist starts to cramp, but he ignores it, eyes fixed on jisung. jisungs eyes snap open, "chenle," he moans, grabbing at chenles wrist, but chenle doesn't stop. "fuck, le," he breathes, voice sharp with sensitivity, but chenle just keeps going, fingers slick, determined. he wants to make him cum again.

jisungs body jerks against the sheets, head thrown back, and he thrusts up into chenles hand, moans pouring out of his mouth, raw and breathless. "faster," he gasps. chenle swallows hard, he's not sure he can go faster, but he pushes his wrist as fast as it'll move, watching as jisung thrusts up again, dick twitching, red and angry, his fist clenched tight in the sheets.

"shit, i'm gonna cum again," jisung chokes out, and chenle scoffs, almost laughing at how quick that was. but he doesn't stop, keeps stroking him through it. jisungs eyes roll back and again, he's cumming- more than last time, spilling up over his own chest, even reaching chenles face. his body convulses hard with it.

chenle finally slows his hand, and jisung lets out a shaky breath, probably thinking it's over. but chenle still needs more. jisungs whole torso is a mess, cum running down his chest, his sides, his neck, his face, and it's still not enough. so chenle keeps moving his hand, slower now, but still firm.

jisung whines, breath stuttering, body twisting restlessly. "chenle, i can't-" he gasps, body thruting up again on its own. chenle leans closer, eyes burning, hand still moving slowly. "please?" he whispers, almost desperate, and jisung nods.

he strokes faster again, listening to the broken noises spilling from jisungs throat like he can't even stop them, like his body's acting on its own. jisungs eyes are pressed shut, face flushed deep red, his hand braced against the headboard, shaking with every wave of sensation as chenle keeps stroking him, relentless.

then, without warning, like even jisung doesn't know it's coming, he cums again. it lands hot across his stomach, and the sheer amount of it pushes some of the existing cum off his sides, like his body physically can't hold any more. chenle smiles, satisfied, finally slowing his hand as the last of the cum pulses out.

jisungs chest rises and falls, breath ragged. and at last, chenles hand stills, finally letting his poor dick rest.

"jesus," jisung mutters, voice hoarse as he stares down at the mess on his torso. he's still panting. chenle just grins, practically giddy as he takes it all in- the mess, the volume, the way it's everywhere. it's unreal, like there's no way that much could come from just one person.

and it's all from his boyfriend.

chenle leans down, tongue dipping into the puddle, licking through the mess like it's the sweetest thing he's ever tasted. the flavor hits his tongue, salty, familiar, and overwhelming, and it soaks into his senses like it's meant to live there.

god, he hadn't tasted this in so long, but it's just as good as he remembered. maybe better. it still makes his head spin, still makes his own cock twitch with want, the heat in his body lighting up all over again. there's something so intimate about it; so indulgent, so filthy, and yet he feels so close to jisung in it.

and jisung, jisung just watches him. he sinks his hand into chenles hair, fingers curling there, gentle but possessive. he doesn't try to stop him, doesn't pull him away. he just lets chenle have it, lets him drink it in as much as he wants.

and chenle wants all of it, wants every drop, like he's been starved for this exact moment. he moans quietly against jisungs skin, and it vibrates through him, low and needy. he looks up, lips slick, pupils blown wide.

"you taste so fucking good," he murmurs, voice hoarse and thick with need. jisung hums, cheeks flushed a deep red, eyes darting away like he's too shy to hold chenles gaze. "so you say," he mumbles back, still catching his breath.

chenle bites his bottom lip, eyes never leaving jisung. slowly, deliberately, he lets his tongue fall out again, licking into the mess once more before pulling it back into his mouth. his lips close around it with a soft, wet sound, and he knows exactly what he's doing.

his gaze stays locked on jisung as he swallows, slow and intentional. he watches the way jisungs adams apple bobs, the way his breath stutters just slightly, how his fingers curl tighter into the sheets like he's trying not to react.. but he is reacting. chenle can see it all.

chenle smirks, leaning in closer, voice low. "don't act like you don't love it," chenle whispers. he hears jisung scoff, breath still uneven. "i love you. that's why you keep getting away with this," he mutters, eyes narrowing even as the corners of his mouth twitch up. chenle grins.

"you wanna kiss?" he asks sweetly, then immediately lowers his head again, slurping more into his mouth with an exaggerated noise. jisungs face contorts instantly. "not with that in your mouth," he groans, but chenle just shrugs, the liquid still warm in his mouth as he leans up toward jisungs face.

jisung gives him a full look of disbelief. but he knows chenle- knows that he loves this for some godforsaken reason, loves making jisung taste himself. so jisung sighs, scrunches his nose, and reluctantly puckers his lips.

chenle lights up, beaming, and presses their mouths together.

he opens his mouth, and jisung instinctively follows, the liquid slipping from chenles tongue into his own. it's warm and salty and terrible, and jisungs face scrunches tighter as the taste spreads. not pleasant at all.

but chenle's giggling against his lips, so pleased, so proud, and jisung can't help but let him have it. he swishes it around once as a joke, before pushing it back into chenles mouth with a quiet huff and immediately turning his head away so chenle can't return the favor.

chenle swallows it down, laughing against jisungs cheek, and jisung groans dramatically into the pillow. "you're disgusting," jisung mutters. "and you love me," chenle grins. jisung scoffs, but there's no heat behind it, because he does. "lucky you," he mutters, teasing, voice still rough around the edges.

chenle beams, clearly unfazed, leaning back just enough to stretch and glance down with a pointed look. "now you have to fuck me," he sings, all syrupy and smug, his tone just barely on the right side of annoying.

jisung follows his gaze, and sure enough, chenle's still hard, red and flushed, clearly more than ready, while jisung is definitely not anymore. he groans dramatically, tossing an arm over his eyes. "you're gonna have to give me a minute," he whines, voice dragging like he's on the edge of death.

chenle just laughs, soft and knowing, nodding like he's being generous. "mm, okay. one minute. sixty seconds. i'll count."

"don't count."

"too late. one... two..."

jisung grumbles something incoherent and reaches out blindly, smacking chenles thigh with no real force. chenle just giggles again and wiggles closer, resting his head on jisungs chest like he's perfectly content to wait forever... or just long enough to wear jisung down again.

chenle rests against jisungs chest for all of maybe ten seconds before he starts shifting, squirming just enough to be annoying. jisung sighs, already knowing what's coming. 

"you said a minute," jisung mutters, arm still draped over his eyes. "and it's been at least thirty seconds," chenle counters, voice sweet but obviously pushing. "plus, you said you love me."

"not right now i don't."

chenle gasps, offended in the most dramatic way, and then he's sliding down jisungs body, planting kisses along his stomach, still sticky and a messy, ignoring the way jisung twitches when his lips pass over sensitive skin.

"you're mean," chenle pouts, licking softly into the corner of jisungs hip. "i'm desperate and hard and suffering and you're just laying here." jisung lifts his arm to glare weakly down at him. "you're insane."

"i'm needy," chenle corrects, and then he shifts his hips forward just enough to brush his cock against jisungs thigh. it drags sticky across his skin, leaving a faint line behind. jisung groans, but this time it's different, lower, heavier.

"fuck, i can't believe you're still hard." chenle nods enthusiastically. "you did this to me. now fix it." jisung doesn't answer right away, just stares at him for a long second, then sits up slowly, letting his hands slide down chenles sides. "you really don't know how to shut up, huh?"

"nope," chenle grins, eyes sparkling. jisung shakes his head once, then leans in and kisses him, deep and a little messy. and while their mouths are still tangled, jisung reaches between them, wraps his hand around chenles cock, and starts to stroke him with slow, steady strokes.

chenle gasps against his lips, hips stuttering forward. "oh fuck- yes."

"mm," jisung hums, mouth dragging down to chenles jaw, then lower. "you asked for it." jisungs hand moves faster now, fingers gripping chenles cock tighter, each stroke deliberate and firm. chenles breath hitches, body arching instinctively into the pressure, hips pushing back without thinking.

"fuck, jisung," chenle gasps, voice thick with need, eyes dark and wide. jisung bites his lip, eyes burning with something fierce as he doesn't let up. "you're mine," he growls low, voice rough and possessive. "i'm gonna make you cum harder than you ever have."

chenle shivers under him, the heat building fast and wild. his dick twitches violently in jisungs grip, muscles clenching tight. "faster," chenle begs, voice ragged. jisung obeys without hesitation, speeding up, pulling chenle closer with his other hand pressed flat against chenles chest. their bodies flush, skin slick with sweat and the remnants of their earlier mess.

the sound of chenles breathing, broken and desperate, fills the room, mixing with jisungs low groans and curses. chenles head falls back, lips parted, eyes fluttering shut as the pressure coils tighter and tighter inside him.

"cum for me," jisung commands, voice rough, a fierce hunger behind it. chenles body tenses, everything going taut as his cock pulses wildly in jisungs hand, his hips thrusting upward one last time.

"fuck-" chenle chokes out, voice breaking as he shudders, spilling over jisungs fingers. jisung doesn't stop, maybe as karma. he keeps stroking through chenles release, holding him steady, lips brushing over chenles temple as he whispers, "that's it, baby. cum all over me."

when chenle finally collapses against jisung, chest heaving, jisungs grip softens but doesn't let go. his hand lingers possessively, fingers tracing lazy circles over chenles tip, like he can't quite let go yet.

"you still wanna fuck?" jisung mumbles against chenles skin, voice thick and low, rough with desire. chenle barely breathes before nodding eagerly, eyes dark and desperate. "yes," he mutters, voice barely more than a whisper, but so full of need it makes jisungs pulse quicken.

jisungs lips curve into a slow, knowing smile. "god, you're insatiable." he shifts his body, rolling so that chenle is beneath him now, their skin slick with sweat and covered in their cum, still dripping down their skin. 

jisungs hands slide down chenles sides, fingertips burning as they explore every inch he can reach. "you're mine," jisung repeats, voice husky and certain as he leans down to kiss chenle again- deep, demanding, like staking a claim.

chenle wraps his arms around jisungs neck, pulling him closer, desperate for more of that heat, more of the connection, more of everything jisung can give. jisungs hips grind against chenles, slow and teasing, the ache building between them grows sharper, more urgent.

"let me make you feel good," jisung breathes, voice low, "let me fuck you until you forget your own name." chenle shudders, lips parting, eyes locked on jisungs as the promise settles between them; raw, hungry, and endless.

"hey, park jisung," chenle says, gripping his hair and pulling him close until their foreheads nearly touch. his voice is low, serious. jisung blinks at him, smirking at the sudden intensity in chenles eyes.

"hm?" he hums, amusement lacing his tone. "i know you've been holding out on me," chenle says, tone firm. jisung raises a brow, curious. "if you hold back again tonight..." chenle leans in closer, his voice barely above a whisper. "i'll kill you."

jisung chuckles softly, pushing chenles thighs up further with rough hands. "i don't want to hurt you." chenle rolls his eyes, defiant. "do i look like i'm scared?" jisung scans his expression, then his body, smirking. "not at all."

"good," chenle breathes, lips brushing jisungs. "then fuck me like you mean it." he whispers, and jisung tsks, tongue swiping slow across his bottom lip as he leans back, eyes dropping to chenles parted legs, already flushed open and waiting.

"we're gonna need a safe word," he mutters, voice low. chenle scoffs, jaw tense. "a safe word?" he repeats, like it's ridiculous. jisung looks back at him, his gaze steady. "green means continue, yellow means slow down, red means stop. you know how that works, right?" chenle huffs, biting the inside of his cheek. "can't i just say stop?"

"sure," jisung shrugs, casual but controlled. "but if you're whining, crying, begging- how am i supposed to know when you mean it and when you don't?" the words hit harder than chenle expects. he swallows, heart kicking up a little.

"that's dumb," he mutters, voice quieter now. "it's not," jisung says, not breaking eye contact. "you told me to fuck you like i mean it, so i will. and if i go too far, you need to tell me. otherwise, i'm not holding back."

the air feels different after that. heavier, hotter. chenle shifts slightly under jisungs gaze, chest rising with his breath. he wants this, all of it. especially like this. "fine," he says, eyes flicking up. "i'll use the safe words."

jisung leans down again, one hand gripping chenles jaw. his voice is low, dangerous, and just a little too calm. "good. don't say red unless you fucking mean it." chenle nods quickly, a gasp breath escaping his throat.

jisung smirks, but there's a flicker of something sharper in his eyes now- focus, intention. not just amusement anymore. "hands above your head," he says simply.

chenle obeys without thinking, letting his arms stretch out along the mattress, wrists crossing above him. jisung watches him like he's memorizing every second, every twitch of movement. his hands slide down chenles thighs again, gripping hard enough to leave marks.

"keep them there," he says, voice low. "don't move them unless i tell you to." chenle nods quickly, breath catching in his throat. jisungs dominance isn't loud, it's not yelling, not screaming, but it commands him. he loves it.

"colour?" jisung asks, raising a brow like he's testing chenle. "green, obviously." chenle whispers. jisung hums, satisfied, and then he's shifting lower, licking a slow, wet stripe up the inside of chenles thigh, biting gently at the soft skin there. 

chenle twitches, but keeps his hands where they are, already trembling with anticipation. "you sure want it rough?" jisung asks, voice muffled slightly, mouth still pressed to his skin. "yes," chenle breathes. "please."

jisung chuckles again, but this time there's no humor, just heat. he rises up, one hand sliding between chenles legs, fingers teasing along the edge of his cock, not touching where chenle wants it most. chenle gasps, hips jerking up, chasing the contact.

"needy already," jisung murmurs. "thought you said you could take it." he scoffs, "i can," chenle snaps, frustrated, but it comes out breathless. jisung grins. "prove it." and then he moves.

he grips chenles cock tight, stroking once, slow and firm, just to make him gasp, and then shifts his weight, spreading chenle open wider. his fingers slide lower, teasing at his entrance, his finger already slick with his own cum, and he pushes in with no more warning than a low, "breathe."

chenle chokes on a sound, back arching hard, but his hands stay where they are, knuckles white against the sheets. "i already-" he gasps, but jisung shakes his head, cutting him off. "don't care," chenle moans in response.

jisung watches him the whole time, breathing heavier, eyes dark. "good boy," he mutters. "don't move." he starts moving his fingers, deep and rough, curling them just right, making chenle whimper and writhe and still hold himself together by sheer force of will.

"look at you," jisung murmurs. "already falling apart." he whispers, "fuck, jisung-" chenle gasps, blinking up at him, eyes wide and glassy. "you're gonna take everything i give you," jisung says, voice low and sharp. "and you're gonna thank me for it."

"yes," chenle breathes. "yes, i will." 

"green?"

"green."

jisung grins, wicked. "good."

jisung shifts, grabbing chenles thighs and pushing them higher, folding him open with no hesitation. chenle lets him, completely pliant, arms still stretched out above his head just like he was told. his wrists tremble where they're pressed into the mattress, fingers twitching with the urge to grab something, anything, but he doesn't move them.

jisung lines himself up and spits, the sound wet and obscene in the thick silence between them. chenle shudders when he feels it, when jisung drags the tip slowly through the mess already between his legs. "you still good?" jisung asks, voice calm, too calm.

"yeah," chenle pants. "please-" he doesn't even get the rest out before jisung's pushing in, slow but forceful, splitting him open in one steady drive that knocks the air right out of chenles lungs. 

his back arches, legs shaking, mouth dropping open in a silent moan as jisung sinks all the way in. he feels full, already at his limit, and jisung hasn't even moved yet. "fuck," chenle gasps, barely able to breathe. "fuck, you-"

"i told you," jisung growls low, hand gripping chenles thigh tight enough to bruise, "you asked for it." then he pulls out halfway and slams back in. chenle cries out, hands fisting uselessly into the sheets above his head. he's not even trying to be quiet, he can't. the stretch, the pressure, the pace- it's so much already.

jisung sets a brutal rhythm, hips snapping forward, sweat dripping from his temples as he drives into chenle again and again. the bed creaks underneath them, the slap of skin on skin filling the room with every sharp thrust.

"you're taking it so well," jisung says, a little breathless now, but still in control. "such a good fucking boy for me." chenle whimpers, whole body trembling. he can feel himself unraveling, every nerve lit up, already hovering close to the edge.

"can't-" he gasps, tears stinging his eyes, "can't hold it-" he whines. "you can," jisung snaps, gripping his jaw, forcing him to look up. "you will."

"please-" chenles voice breaks, his legs twitching violently with every thrust. "i- i'm gonna-" his voice comes out breathless, "green or red?" jisung growls. "fuck you, green!" chenle sobs, and jisung slams into him so hard his vision whites out for a second.

he cums without warning, legs spasming around jisungs waist, arms finally breaking position as he grabs onto anything he can reach, jisungs shoulders, his back, clawing at him as he shakes through it.

but jisung doesn't stop.

he fucks him through it, deep and rough, even as chenle gasps and writhes, overstimulated and twitching. he's completely undone, tears slipping down his temples, mouth open in a silent scream.

"you said don't hold back," jisung growls. "you fucking meant it." chenle nods helplessly, too gone to speak, still gripping jisung like he'll fall apart completely if he lets go. 

jisung groans deep in his chest, fucking him through the aftershocks until he breaks, thrusts stuttering, fingers bruising as he finally spills inside him, hips still jerking with each wave of release.

they stay tangled like that, breathless and shaking, sweat cooling on their skin. chenles clinging to him, legs still trembling, fingers still fisted in jisungs hair. for a long second, no one says anything.

then chenle breathes, voice wrecked and barely audible: "yellow." jisung freezes immediately, pulling back just enough to look down at him. "too much?" he whispers, brushing damp hair away from chenles face, hand soft now.

"just- need a second," chenle says, eyes fluttering shut. "you were right.. about the safe word thing." jisung smiles, gentle now. "i know." he leans down, kisses chenles cheek, and holds him close, heart still racing under his ribs.

jisung holds still, chest heaving, hand gently stroking down chenles side as he watches him breathe. "you wanna stop?" he asks, voice quieter now, but still edged with heat. chenle shakes his head slowly, eyes still shut, face flushed and damp. 

"no. just- slower. i wanna keep going." jisung exhales, relief and desire curling into one. "you sure?" chenle blinks up at him, dazed but steady. "green." and that's all jisung needs.

he leans in and kisses him slow and messy, tongues dragging lazily together as their bodies stay pressed close. chenle whines softly against his mouth, legs twitching as jisung starts to move again, slower this time, grinding deep instead of thrusting.

each roll of his hips is heavy and deliberate, making chenle gasp every time jisung brushes that spot inside him, over and over, until he's shaking again, overstimulation slowly turning back into heat, into want, into need.

"feels good?" jisung whispers into his ear, hand sliding under chenles thigh, pushing it up to fold him even tighter. "yes," chenle breathes, voice strained. "it's- fuck, it's so much." he moans, "i know, baby. let me take care of you."

his rhythm builds again, not as brutal as before, but still rough, still thick with control. chenles hands roam jisungs back now, no longer pinned, nails dragging red lines down to his waist as he moans and cries out softly with every thrust.

"you gonna cum again for me?" jisung grits out, sweat dripping down his neck. "i don't- i don't know if i can," chenle whines, head tipping back, mouth open. "you can," jisung growls, biting at his throat. "you will. i'm gonna keep fucking you until you do."

chenles body jolts with the words, his cock twitching against his stomach, already leaking again despite the ache. "god- jisung- " he whines, "say you're mine," jisung demands, breath harsh. "say it." chenle opens his eyes, "i'm yours," chenle cries, eyes wet and unfocused. "i'm fucking yours- fuck- "

then suddenly, something inside him shifts, like a switch being flicked deep in his chest. the world narrows to just this moment. just the stretch of his body, the heat of jisung over him, the words still echoing between them.

chenle doesn't even realize it's happening until it already is.

his hands, once clawing into jisungs back like they were the only thing anchoring him to the earth, fall slack. his legs, shaking with overstimulation and adrenaline, give out completely, splayed and loose beneath jisungs weight. and the sounds, his gasping, moaning, and begging, disappear like someone turned the volume down on the entire world.

everything around him softens.

the room fades. his own body feels distant, like he's sunken too far into something warm and golden and can't quite find the surface. but it's not scary. it's the opposite, calm, safe, peaceful. like floating, like pure bliss.

he doesn't notice when jisung slows, doesn't register the sudden stillness or the hand tapping gently at his cheek. he only returns to himself when jisungs voice, louder, closer, pierces the haze. "chenle?" he blinks. jisungs face is right above his, brow furrowed, panic just barely held back behind his steady voice.

"you with me?" jisung asks, voice low but firm. chenle swallows, his throat dry. "yeah," he breathes, dazed. "yeah, i'm good." jisung lets out a shaky exhale, brushing damp hair off chenles forehead. "you scared me," he says, a nervous laugh breaking through. "you zoned out. like, completely."

chenle presses a trembling hand to his chest, feeling his heartbeat. fast, steady, still there. "it didn't feel bad," he murmurs, brows drawing in. "it was just... like i left my body for a second. but in a good way." jisung nods slowly, knowingly. "subspace," he says gently. chenles brow furrows. "sub what?"

"subspace," jisung repeats. "it happens sometimes to bottoms, when things get intense. your body kind of shuts down all the outside noise. it's like... surrendering completely. you give in."

chenle scoffs softly, half in disbelief, half in awe. he turns his face to the side, a flush of embarrassment rising hot under his skin. jisung sees it immediately, fingers tilting chenles chin back toward him. "hey," he says, voice soft, smiling. "don't get embarrassed. that was... fuck, that was beautiful."

chenle bites the inside of his cheek, avoiding jisungs eyes, but the warmth in his chest swells at the words, at the softness. "i'm yours now, remember?" jisung adds, teasing, leaning in to press a slow, gentle kiss to chenles cheek. 

the motion pulls him closer, hips shifting accidentally, and the soft press of jisung still inside makes chenle let out a tiny, involuntary whine. he clings tighter to jisungs waist, the contact grounding him, soothing and intense all at once.

"if it happens again..." chenle starts, voice so quiet it's almost lost against jisungs neck, "don't stop. it felt good." jisung stills, hand stroking along chenles side. he pulls back enough to look him in the eye.

"you sure?" chenle nods, eyes heavy lidded and soft, lips parting around the smallest whisper. "please?" jisung bites his lip, just watching him for a second, like he's trying to memorize everything about him right now.

"then i won't stop," he breathes, kissing him again, slower this time. "not until you say red."

and with that promise, jisung starts to move again- careful, but deep. each motion dragging sweet, slow pleasure through chenles already sensitive body. the kind of rhythm that says i'm not done with you yet.

and chenle... he doesn't want him to be.

jisung moves with care now, every thrust slow but unrelenting, hips rolling deep instead of fast. his hands stroke over chenles body like he's trying to soothe and undo him at the same time. and chenle- he melts under it.

his eyes flutter open, then closed again, the afterglow mixing with the overstimulation until it's hard to tell where one feeling ends and the next begins. it's too much, but he doesn't want it to stop.

"you're still so tight," jisung murmurs, almost to himself, voice low and reverent. "still gripping me like you need me there." he adds. "i do," chenle whispers.

and it's the truth. not just the physical ache of it, not just the heat in his stomach or the pressure building again, but something deeper. something thick in his chest that only eases when jisung touches him like this, fills him like this, loves him like this.

jisung leans in, lips brushing across his throat, and murmurs, "i've got you, you don't have to do anything. just let go." and so he does. it creeps up quieter this time. not sharp, not shocking. like warm water rising slowly in a tub, like heat soaking into muscle and bone and breath.

the edges of the world blur again. he stops keeping track of jisungs movements, stops trying to hold onto the rhythm or the sound of his own moans. he doesn't cry out this time, he just sinks.

his body goes pliant beneath jisung, arms loose around his neck, mouth slack and open. his thighs twitch, his head tips back, and a soft, broken noise leaves his throat, but his eyes are far away now.

gone. and jisung feels it happen. "chenle," he says, a little breathless. "baby. green?" chenle blinks slowly, not quite focused, but he nods, barely. his lips move like they're trying to say it, but it comes out as a soft whimper of  "gr'n" instead.

jisung smiles, gentle and full of awe. he pulls chenle closer, chest to chest, never pulling out. he slows down again, even further, rocking into him with care, whispering soft things into his ear.

"you're perfect," he says. "doing so good for me. i've got you, i won't let you go." and chenle clings, soft and pliant and far, far away. his breath stutters in his throat, but he doesn't fight it, he gives in completely.

jisung cums again like that, quietly, body pressed tight to chenles, hips deep and still as he buries himself one last time, his whole body trembling through the release, and still, he doesn't move, doesn't pull out. doesn't break the moment.

he holds chenle, hands stroking his back slowly, rhythmically, and grounding. "you're safe," he whispers. "i'm here. just breathe." it takes minutes. long, quiet ones, but eventually, chenle shifts. blinks, blinks again, and the haze starts to lift.

he looks up at jisung, eyes glassy, face flushed, and the first thing he says is: "thank you." jisungs breath catches. "always," he whispers back, kissing his forehead. "you were perfect." chenle hums softly, curling into him, letting himself be held.

they stay like that for a while, skin to skin, tangled in sweat and breath and warmth. chenle doesn't talk, doesn't have the words yet. he just lets his body exist in the quiet, lets the haze settle before it fades, lets jisung hold him like nothing else matters.

and jisung does hold him. arms wrapped firmly around his waist, nose pressed to the side of chenles neck, chest rising and falling in sync with his. one hand rubs slow circles into his lower back. the other stays laced in his hair, fingertips combing gently through the strands.

"you back?" jisung murmurs after a while, voice soft enough to disappear into the air if chenle hadn't been listening for it. chenle shifts, legs still a little shaky, eyes blinking open with effort, he nods. "yeah. i'm back."

jisung kisses his cheek. "how do you feel?" chenle hums, letting his eyes drift shut again. "floaty, tired, like i'm gonna be able to dance for a week.." jisung chuckles. "i'll carry you everywhere. you won't even need legs."

chenle snorts a laugh, weak and hoarse. "romantic." there's a pause. chenles fingers curl slightly at jisungs side, still grounding himself with touch. his voice is quieter when he speaks again.

"that was... different." jisung nods slowly, "in a good way?" he asks "yeah," he whispers. "in a really good way." jisung pulls back just enough to look at him, eyes searching. "was it too much?"

"no," chenle says, firm, honest. "you were perfect." a flicker of something vulnerable passes over jisungs face before he nods. "okay. good."

he kisses chenles forehead again, then untangles carefully, slipping out and pulling off the blanket at the edge of the bed. chenle whines when he leaves, but jisung is back a second later, gently cleaning between his legs with a warm cloth and soft touches.

"i can do that-" chenle starts to mumble, but jisung shushes him. "shut up, let me take care of you." chenle grins weakly. jisung tosses the cloth aside and pulls chenle into his arms again. this time under the covers, wrapped up tight, chest to chest.

"thank you," chenle whispers, fingers curling against jisungs chest. "you don't have to thank me," jisung murmurs, voice low against chenles ear. chenle nods, small and slow, eyes half-lidded with sleep. 

"yeah," he breathes. then after a beat, quieter, more fragile, "you know i love you too, right?" jisungs smile is soft, his eyes still closed as he leans in and presses a kiss to chenles hair, slow and full of warmth. "i know," he whispers back, just as fragile.

Chapter Text

being with jisung was the best decision chenle had ever made. all his fears turned out to be irrelevant, everything just worked out. perfectly.

when they told the members they were together, everyone gave them the same look and said, "yeah, we know." no one judged, no one was against it. they were accepted without question, and life went on as usual- just with a bit more friendly teasing than before.

even the fans, though they hadn't made anything official (for obvious reasons), seemed to sense it. chenle saw the comments: how happy people were to see him and jisung together more often. more chenji episodes, more live streams together, always next to each other at interviews and talk shows, and the fans loved every second of it.

they disclosed it to the company, since policy required it. the only reaction they got was a short list of public conduct rules, and a quiet congratulations with a smile. and just like that, chenle realized... he'd never needed to worry at all.

the other aspects of their relationship were just as good. chenle and jisung genuinely loved being around each other- it was effortless. going out was easy, staying in was even easier. 

they'd hang out for hours doing absolutely nothing and still have the best time. chenle started spending more nights in jisungs room than his own, until eventually, most of his things just stayed there.

and then there was the sex.

it wasn't just good, it was better than good. intense, sometimes rough, sometimes slow, always honest. it wasn't just about physical pleasure; it was about trust, about knowing each other deeply enough to give and take without fear. chenle never knew it could feel like that, but with jisung, it did. every time.

plus, they had sex a lot.

chenle doesn't bother knocking anymore- jisungs room is his now anyway. when he walks into the bedroom, his eyes fall on his boyfriend, who's locked in on some video game, shouting through a headset for someone to cover him.

chenle walks up slowly, resting his hands on the back of jisungs gaming chair, leaning his head on the mans shoulder to watch the screen. when jisungs character is finally safe, he pulls one headphone off, turning slightly toward chenle.

"are you going to bed?" he asks casually, picking up a gun someone must've dropped. "hm. you can keep playing," chenle mutters back, watching jisung nod as he lines up a sniper shot, the other player drops with one hit, and chenle smiles, listening to the faint voices cheering jisung on through his headset.

he stays there for a while, leaning back to massage jisungs shoulders as the game continues. as jisung barks out quick orders, calm and focused, chenle can't help but find him hot like this. it's not his fault, really- everything jisung does is hot to him.

"hey," chenle says, nudging jisungs shoulder gently, the man hums in response. "who're you playing with?" chenle asks, and jisung shrugs lightly. "uh," he says, opening the player log. chenle scans the list as jisung reads off the names. "jaehyun, mark, yuta, and johnny."

chenle nods, fingers drifting past jisungs shoulders and down his chest. jisung turns his head slightly to glance at him, then back to the game. "why?" he asks curiously, and chenle just smiles, stepping around the chair.

he ducks under jisungs arm quickly, the man leaning back a bit as chenle briefly blocks the monitor before settling into his lap, legs tucked neatly under the armrests of the gaming chair.

"what're you doing?" jisung asks, though his hands are already pulling chenle in closer before reaching back to the mouse and keyboard. "just wanna hug," chenle whispers, resting his head against jisungs.

"you're in the way," jisung grumbles, shifting slightly and resting his chin over chenles shoulder to still see the screen. chenle hums in response, clearly not planning to move. jisung laughs at something someone says through his headset. "yeah, he's being annoying," he says into the mic, and chenle pouts at him with a small glare.

chenle stays like that for a while, leaning his body into jisungs chest as he plays. jisung complains now and then, mumbling about chenle being annoying or in the way, but he never actually asks him to move, so chenle doesn't.

he just wants to be close to jisung, and he's not about to be the kind of boyfriend who tells him to stop playing, so this is his compromise. "just tell me when you want to go to bed," jisung whispers eventually, sensing chenle starting to doze off against him.

chenle hums in agreement, turning his head to press a soft kiss to jisungs neck. "i'm happy here," chenle murmurs. jisung scoffs under his breath, shifting slightly to get more comfortable. "of course you are," he mutters, shaking his head with a quiet smile as his hand settles briefly on chenles back.

he means to pull away after a second, but his hand lingers- sliding slowly up chenles spine, fingers brushing beneath the hem of his shirt. chenle exhales softly at the touch, barely more than a breath, but jisung catches it.

"you're distracting me," jisung murmurs, voice low now, his head still leaning close. "hm," chenle hums instead of a response, tilting his face slightly, brushing his nose against the line of jisungs jaw.

jisungs hands twitch on the keyboard, but he doesn't pause the game, instead he mutes his mic. his free arm slips further around chenles waist, holding him in place. "you're going to get me killed."

"not my fault you're hot when you're focused," chenle mutters, leaning in to kiss behind jisungs ear. jisung groans quietly under his breath. "you're doing this on purpose."

"maybe," chenle admits, shifting slightly in jisungs lap, his thighs tightening around the sides of the chair.  "maybe i just like being here." jisung finally turns his head, meeting chenles eyes fully now. their faces are close, breath shared. "at least let me finish this match, hm?"

chenle shrugs, trying to look innocent, though the small smile tugging at his lips betrays him. "i said you could keep playing," he whispers, fingers ghosting over jisungs collarbone.  jisung exhales through his nose, sharp and amused, eyes flicking to chenles mouth before glancing back at the screen, like he's trying to stay composed. 

his hand curls tighter around chenles side, grip firm, possessive. "five more minutes," jisung mutters, chenle smirks, voice soft against his skin. "i'll be good." chenle hums, settling against him again like he didn't just say the most obvious lie in the world. jisung shakes his head, a small, helpless smile on his lips as he turns back to his screen, trying to focus.

chenle doesn't move much- just shifts every now and then, innocent enough that jisung can't accuse him of anything, but deliberate enough to make him feel it. the weight of chenle in his lap, the warm press of his thighs snug around him, the soft trail of his fingers along jisungs chest like he's bored and playing with his favorite toy.

"you said five minutes," chenle whispers after a while, voice low and teasing near his ear. "it hasn't been five," jisung mutters back, though his voice is already fraying at the edges. "you want me to wait?" chenle asks, lips brushing jisungs jaw with each word. "or do you want me to keep distracting you?"

jisung doesn't answer, he doesn't need to. he mutes his mic again before his hand leaves the mouse, slides fully around chenles waist, dragging him closer. their hips align, and chenle gasps, soft and surprised.

"you said you'd be good," jisung murmurs, mouth ghosting over chenles neck now, "i lied," chenle breathes, gripping jisungs shirt tighter. "obviously." his hand slips under chenles shirt again, warmer now, fingers dragging slowly up his spine. chenle arches into the touch, head tilting to give him more room.

"you sure you wanna do this here?" jisung asks, a final thread of restraint in his tone. chenle leans in, lips brushing jisungs cheek. "i said i was happy here, didn't i?" chenle hums, voice low against jisungs skin as his hands drift down to the mans lower stomach.

"are you muted?" he asks next, soft and casual, but there's nothing casual about the way his fingers dip lower, brushing just above the waistband of jisungs pants. "yeah," jisung mutters, eyes flicking down to watch those hands, distracted already.

"let me ride you," chenle says, almost like he's asking for a sip of water, hips rolling forward against jisungs lap with practiced ease. jisung scoffs, dragging his gaze up to the screen again, clearly trying to focus.

"hang on, let me leave the game," he says, reaching for the unmute button, only for chenle to catch his arm, stopping him. "no," chenle says firmly. "you can keep playing." jisung looks at him, eyebrows raised, mouth twitching in amusement. he searches chenles face for any sign of hesitation and finds none. 

"stay quiet then," jisung warns, eyes narrowing just slightly. his tone is playful, but there's an edge to it- like a dare. chenle doesn't say anything, only sits back a little straighter in his lap, thighs snug against jisungs, waiting. jisung shakes his head, smirking as he un-mutes. 

"sorry guys," he says through the mic, the sound of the game still loud in his ears. "yeah, yeah- i won't mute again, don't worry." as he speaks, his free hand slides under chenles shirt, tracing over the smooth line of his back- almost like a taunt. 

chenle swallows hard, his breathing quiet but unsteady, eyes locked on jisungs face.

he shifts in jisungs lap, just barely, but it's enough. jisung bites back a groan, pretending to adjust in his seat, voice steady through the mic as he gives vague orders to his teammates. chenles eyes finally drop from jisungs face, drifting down to where their bodies press together.

he shifts back slightly, fingers curling around the waistband of jisungs pajama pants. when he gives them a tug, jisung lifts his hips just enough to help, laughing at something one of his teammates says- like none of this is even happening.

chenle's seen him do this before, carry on with what he's doing like it's nothing. like he's not already hard and letting chenle straddle him mid-match. chenle's not sure if it impresses him or pisses him off, maybe both.

chenle slides the pants down just far enough, just enough to free his cock, his own breath catching as he feels jisung twitch beneath him. jisung barely reacts, only murmurs a quiet "left side, two behind the crate," to his teammates, fingers still moving across the keyboard like he's not sitting there with chenle in his lap, thighs warm and spread.

chenle grits his teeth, reaching between them to run a hand slowly along the length of him, eyes fixed on jisungs face for any flicker of distraction. jisungs jaw tightens slightly, just for a second, and chenle smiles.

"focus," chenle mutters, smirking, then leaning forward, pressing a kiss just under his ear. "i am," jisung whispers, exhaling through his nose like he's trying not to laugh, hands still confidently on the controls. 

chenle scoffs quietly, tugging down his own pants with some difficulty. jisung complains under his breath that chenle's blocking the screen again, but doesn't push him off, even when chenle finally settles back into his lap, thighs snug on either side of his hips.

chenle leans in close, hand covering the mic and lips brushing against the shell of jisungs ear as he whispers, "can you finger me?" jisung tsks softly, his eyes darting between the screen and chenle. "i need both hands to play," he mutters, amused but focused. chenle pouts dramatically, pulling back just enough to give jisung a look- all frustration and teasing want.

"fine," he mutters mostly to himself, shifting slightly in jisungs lap. he spits on his fingers, then presses closer, breath catching as his hand grips jisungs shoulder for balance. his head drops forward, lips brushing jisungs neck, trying to stay quiet even as his fingers press inside him and his body starts to move with more urgency.

his pace builds quickly, like he doesn't want to wait. his other hand clenched at his boyfriends shoulder, eyes fluttering shut as he presses in closer, muffling the soft noises that threaten to escape.

jisung shifts underneath him, just slightly, barely reacting. he's still talking to their friends through the mic, voice steady and casual- laughing, giving directions, calling out game positions like nothing's happening.

then, after a good minute or two, chenle shifts again, pulling his fingers out with a sigh and roll of his head. he drags his hips forward until they align, then, slow and deliberate, sinks himself down onto jisung. 

he rolls his hips once, slow enough that jisungs breath catches, his hand stuttering over the mouse for a fraction of a second. "fuck," jisung mutters under his breath, barely audible beneath the chatter in his headset. chenle grins against his neck.

"you okay over there?" one of the guys, maybe johnny, asks through the mic, voice tinny through jisungs headset. "yeah," jisung coughs, clearing his throat, "just- lag." chenle nearly laughs, biting his lip instead. he grinds down again, slower this time, and watches jisungs fingers tighten around the mouse.

"mm. big lag," chenle teases under his breath. jisung gives him a warning glance, but his free hand slides up chenles back anyway, holding him tighter. 

chenle rocks his hips again, slower this time, testing how much he can get away with. jisung doesn't say anything, just reaches up to adjust his mic like chenle isn't pressed against him, moving quietly, breathing harder with each shift.

he can feel the heat building low in his stomach, and can feel the way jisungs thigh flexes beneath him every time he rolls his hips just right. chenles mouth finds jisungs neck again, barely brushing his skin before he lets his teeth graze there- soft, not enough to leave a mark, just enough to make jisung pause for a second mid-sentence.

chenle smirks.

he presses in a little closer, curling his fingers into the hem of jisungs shirt, holding on like he's grounding himself. jisung says something into the mic, but his voice has dipped, lower now, more strained. like he's trying not to react.

"you're doing good," chenle whispers, not even sure why he says it, except it makes jisung glance at him, quick and sharp. "you're so annoying," jisung mutters under his breath, but his hand settles at chenles waist again, fingers pressing into his side. not stopping him, just holding.

so he keeps grinding down, a steady rhythm now, pressing his mouth into jisungs shoulder to muffle the shaky breath he lets out. it's getting too much, for both of them. he can feel it in the way jisungs fingers twitch, the way his voice falters mid-callout, the way he misses a shot that should've been easy.

chenle hears their friends complain through jisungs headset. "sorry guys- just, tired," jisung says, laughing it off, dragging a hand over his face like it'll help him focus, even as his chest rises too quick and his hips start to rut up into chenle without thinking.

it only takes a few more desperate, clumsy thrusts before something in jisung snaps. his hands leave the keyboard in a blur- one flying up to cover his mouth, trying to hold something in, the other grabbing onto chenles hip like he's grounding himself.

chenle leans back just enough to see it, the way jisungs face scrunches up, flushed and trembling, that twisted noise muffled behind his palm. his eyes flutter shut, hips stuttering. chenle watches, heart thudding in his chest, proud and a little smug.

he shifts slightly in jisungs lap as he fills with jisungs cum, and the movement is enough to make his boyfriend whimper into his hand. "i'm gonna log off," jisung mutters, pulling his hand from his mouth and exiting the game before anyone even has time to complain.

the call ends with a quick click, and the headset is ripped from his head and tossed onto the desk in front of them with a dull thump. chenle smirks when their eyes meet, but before he can say anything, jisung thrusts up into him- sharp, deep, without warning.

chenle gasps, eyes fluttering shut, head falling back. he barely gets a breath in before he's cumming, body trembling as he clutches at jisungs shoulders. "spoiled," jisung tsks under his breath, hands steady on chenles hips as he finally slows.

chenle laughs, breath hitching through it, the sound soft and loose. he nods lazily, cheek resting against jisungs shoulder. "i'm tired," chenle murmurs after a moment, voice small. jisung scoffs, running a hand over chenles back. "no wonder."

anyway, chenle's happy. he really is happy... but it's always like that. chenle asking and receiving, whenever and whatever he wants. and it's not like he's complaining- he isn't. it's just... it's always him initiating.

ever since they started dating, not once has jisung been the one to ask for anything like that; the only time he ever had was the very first time they had sex. chenle knows jisung is shy, maybe he asks enough that jisung doesn't have to. but still.

it's not a crime for chenle to want his boyfriend to beg for him. to get on his knees, look up at him with those pretty eyes, and whisper please? like he means it, like he needs it.

he doesn't think that makes him selfish. he gives jisung everything- his time, his body, his patience. he's soft where jisung needs softness, rough where jisung craves it. he never asks for much in return.

but sometimes, chenle wants to feel wanted. really wanted. not just needed in the way he always is, where jisung gives into him and treats him how he wants. he wants to be craved, chased, without the aspect of sex already existing. he wants jisung to ache for him, to admit it out loud.

it doesn't even have to be dramatic. just a whisper, a kiss to his thigh, a hand tugging on his waistband. just enough to make chenle feel like he's not the only one always reaching.

so, that's how his plan starts.

it's ridiculous, really. he knows he can just talk to his boyfriend about it- knows he could sit jisung down and say, "i feel like you never reach for me," and jisung would probably listen, probably even try to fix it. but that's not what chenle wants.

because if he asks for it, and jisung gives it to him, then it'll feel fake. like jisung's only doing it because he was told to, not because he wants to. not because he aches for it the way chenle aches to be wanted.

he wants jisung desperate. impatient. he wants him to need chenle enough to lose control, to get frustrated, to reach a breaking point and finally, finally, grab chenle and ask for something for once. maybe even beg.

he wants to see it in jisungs eyes, hear it in his voice. wants jisung to look at him like he can't stand another second without touching him. and until that happens, chenle's not giving in. not first. not this time.

he starts his plan immediately the next day, waking up and jumping out of bed without hesitation. he hears jisung groan from where he's still tangled in the sheets beside him, voice low and hoarse as he mutters, "where're you going?"

chenle scoffs quietly to himself, stretching his arms over his head with an exaggerated yawn. "we have to head to the studio today," he replies, already pulling one of his hoodies from the closet.

jisung peeks toward the bedside table, then matches chenles scoff. "we don't have to be there till 12," he says, voice muffled as he drops back into the pillows. chenle glances at the clock, sees it's just past 9am.

on a normal day, there's no way he'd be up this early. chenle lives in those morning hours pressed into jisungs chest, stealing extra warmth and kisses and dragging his boyfriend back under the blankets when he tries to move.

but today isn't a normal day. today, he peels himself away, even when jisung reaches out lazily for his hand. chenle just smiles, slipping out of reach. "i want coffee," he says simply, tugging the hoodie over his head. "you can sleep more if you want."

and he leaves the room without another glance.

he finds jaemin in the kitchen with his boyfriend wrapped around his waist, both of them giggling over a frying pan full of sizzling eggs. "get a room," chenle mutters, pushing a coffee pod into the machine with a yawn.

"you're up early," jaemin says, brow raised as jeno slips away from him to grab plates. "yeah," chenle agrees, watching the coffee pour into his cup. "i'm scheming."

jaemin scoffs immediately, turning with crossed arms. "do i even want to know?" chenle just smiles, lifting the coffee to his lips. "probably not," he replies, already turning to leave. he slips out of the kitchen as the sound of their laughter follows him down the hall.

he drinks his coffee slowly, leaning against the hallway wall for a second as he sips. he hears the stove click off, jenos soft voice, jaemin laughing again. chenle takes another longer sip.

he knows jisung will be wandering out of bed soon, sleep-rumpled and squinty-eyed, looking for him. that's how it always goes when chenle actually does wake up first. and right on time, he hears the door creak open and bare feet padding across the floor.

"baby?" jisung calls out groggily. chenle sets his cup down just as jisung rounds the corner, hoodie sleeves pulled over his hands, hair a mess, eyes still heavy with sleep. he looks so soft it almost makes chenle give up the whole thing right then and there.

"morning," chenle says, brushing past him casually. "i made coffee." jisung blinks after him, confused. "you didn't bring me any?" he pouts. "you were asleep," chenle says simply, grabbing his phone from his pocket. "figured you'd get it yourself."

he doesn't miss the way jisung frowns a little, the subtle shift in his expression. normally, chenle would've brought it straight to bed. he would've curled up next to him, kissed his neck, coaxed him awake with soft little hums.

but not today. today, he has a plan.

"i'm gonna shower," he adds, not waiting for a response. jisung watches him walk away again, like he doesn't understand what's going on. perfect, chenle thinks. let him feel it, just a little. he shuts the bathroom door gently behind him and lets himself smile into the steam. it starts now.

"does anyone know what's wrong with my boyfriend?" jisung asks as he steps into the kitchen, sliding into the spot chenle had just left to fill his own mug with coffee. he rubs a hand over his tired eye, catching jaemins laugh from across the room.

"he said he was scheming," jaemin supplies. "scheming?" jisung repeats quietly with a frown. "what'd you do, ji?" jeno teases, leaning against the counter with a grin.

jisung shrugs helplessly. "not a clue," he mutters, taking a sip from his mug and staring down the hallway- half expecting chenle to reappear and start scolding him for something he hasn't figured out yet.

jisung notices it, whatever it is, continuing.

not as loud as it was in the morning, when chenle bolted from bed like something had bit him, but it's there. chenle's still clingy throughout the day; still holding jisungs hand on the walk to the studio, still pressing a kiss to his jaw during breaks, still curling into his side on the couch like always. it's the same, almost.

but then they're heading to bed, and that's where the shift becomes clear. because chenle doesn't climb on top of him like usual, doesn't start with a kiss or mumble out some half-lazy request that jisung would never actually say no to.

instead, he slides under the covers, hoodie still on, tugging his teddy into his arms and opening twitter like sex hadn't even occurred to him. jisung watches him for a second, blinking, thrown by the lack of routine. 

it's not like he expects it every night, but it's weird, off, in a way that makes him glance at the clock like maybe they're just early. he finds it a little funny, honestly. he's not sure what chenles definition of a "scheme" is, but this feels like a prank more than a plot. 

he climbs into bed like normal, doesn't say anything, just shifts close enough for their arms to brush. maybe he's just not feeling it tonight, jisung tells himself. it's not a big deal, not at all. except- except chenle scoffs when jisung lays beside him.

it's quiet, barely audible, but it's there. jisung turns slightly to look at him, and chenle doesn't meet his eyes. just shuts his phone off, turns on his side with a dramatic little exhale, and mutters, "goodnight."

and that's when jisung knows, definitely knows, something's up.

he wakes up the next morning alone.

he notices it first in the way his hand reaches out instinctively, searching for warm skin and soft hoodie fabric, but touches nothing but the cool dip of an empty mattress. his eyes blink open, slow and confused, gaze flicking across the bed like maybe chenle's just rolled too far away.

but no, he's gone. again.

the clock on the nightstand blinks back at him: 10:04am. not early by normal standards, but for them? this is unnatural. chenle hates mornings, he rarely willingly gets up before jisung, doesn't move before jisung without whining about it first. this is the second time now, and the second time jisung's waking up to a missing boyfriend.

he drags himself out of bed and pads over to the bathroom, knocking lightly before poking his head in. empty. he moves through the dorm next, asking around, ignoring the sleepy looks and teasing remarks from the other members.

"haven't seen him," renjun says, biting into a piece of toast. "he left early?" jaemin frowns. "weird." none of it helps.

he checks every usual spot twice, frustration simmering just beneath his skin, until he finally makes his way down the hall to the last place he expects him to be. chenles old room- the one that's mostly empty now, cleared out since they started sharing a bed months ago.

and there he is.

fast asleep on the bare mattress, limbs sprawled messily, hoodie riding up just a little, hair sticking in all directions. no blankets, no pillow, even. just chenle, dead to the world, curled like a sulking cat.

jisung leans against the doorframe, arms crossed and one brow raised in silent disbelief. he doesn't get it; they went to bed like normal the other night, curled into each other like always. chenle had been soft, a little tired, maybe, but still himself. jisung had kissed his temple, felt him smile.

and then this.

he racks his brain for something he might've done wrong- some moment, some word, something- but there's nothing. unless he somehow wronged chenle in a dream, it doesn't make any sense. and honestly? that feels like the only explanation that does make sense right now.

"chenle," jisung calls from the doorway, voice low but firm. no response.

he sighs, stepping into the cold, mostly-empty room, and crouches beside the mattress. the sight is pitiful; chenle's curled in on himself like he didn't bother trying to get comfortable, like he just laid down and gave up.

he leans down and gives his shoulder a shake. chenle groans, swatting at him without opening his eyes. "hey," jisung says again, softer now, sitting on the edge of the bed. "are you upset with me?"

chenle blinks slowly, eyes heavy with sleep, confusion clear in the scrunch of his nose. "what?" he mutters, dragging himself closer and pressing his face against jisungs hip. "no? why would i be upset with you?"

his voice is so sincere, warm and heavy with sleep, and it only makes jisung more confused. "uh, you ran away to sleep in your old room?" jisung gestures vaguely around them, like it should be obvious. chenle just yawns, unbothered.

"oh, sorry," he says lazily, looking up with a soft pout, like he's apologizing for forgetting to brush his teeth- not for disappearing in the middle of the night. and then... silence. he doesn't explain, doesn't even try.

"that's it?" jisung asks, blinking down at him in disbelief. "yeah," chenle says, casual as ever, still half-tucked into jisungs side like he hadn't just broken every single one of their unspoken routines.

jisung scoffs, pulling back abruptly. chenles arms slip off his waist as jisung stands up.

"talk to me if something's wrong," jisung says, tone sharper than before, the confusion starting to curdle into something else; hurt, frustration, whatever. he doesn't wait for a response. just walks out, leaving chenle alone in the weird silence of his old room.

jisung doesn't think anything is wrong. chenle isn't exactly acting like something is- especially not when, only ten minutes later, he quietly curls into jisungs side on the couch with closed eyes and a soft, mumbled "sorry."

it's the silence that's killing him. the scheme, whatever it is. because they're together now; they're supposed to talk about what's bothering them, not tiptoe around whatever game chenle's playing.

while jisung is at the gym later that day, chenle finds himself wandering down the hallway to the only other couples bedroom in the dorm. the door is already cracked open, so he pushes it wider, revealing jeno and jaemin sitting cross-legged on the floor, completely absorbed in some mobile game.

"my scheme is failing," he announces, flopping down beside them. they both look up at him. "why?" jeno asks, pausing the game. "because i'm doing it wrong. he thinks i'm mad at him," chenle grumbles, crossing his legs and hugging his feet like he's trying to comfort himself.

"are you... mad at him?" jaemin asks. chenle frowns, shaking his head. "no." the couple shares a look. "am i allowed to ask for context?" jaemin asks gently. chenle sighs and closes his eyes for a second. "i want him to initiate sex. so i've been kind of... avoiding him, hoping he'll miss it enough to beg me."

both jaemin and jeno laugh, because by now, they're far too familiar with the overly complex mechanics of chenle and jisungs sex life. "i don't think avoiding him is gonna make him beg you for sex, le," jaemin says, still laughing.

chenle furrows his eyebrows. "just act normal," jeno suggests, like it's obvious. "be your usual cuddly self, but minus the sex. that way he won't think something's wrong, but he'll start noticing what's missing."

"exactly," jaemin says, nudging jeno. "right now, jisung probably thinks you're withholding because you're mad at him, not because you're trying to tease a reaction out of him. you could just, you know, talk to him about it." jaemin suggests, chenle groans.

this was not how seduction was supposed to go. this was supposed to be a plan- jisung missing his touch, his usual eagerness, missing the way chenle always reached first. instead, jisung thinks he's in trouble. thinks chenle's pulling away, emotionally, not just physically. and that wasn't the goal at all.

now chenle sits cross-legged on the floor, tugging at his toes like a frustrated child, and watches jeno and jaemin give each other that stupid couple look like they're already reading his mind.

"okay, but think about it," chenle says, sitting up straighter. "if i tell him i want him to initiate, then he does, i'll know it's because i told him to, not because he wanted to. and then it won't feel real."

"so you'd rather he doesn't know what's going on and thinks you're mad at him?" jeno raises an eyebrow. "you know that sounds psychotic, right?" jaemin adds helpfully. chenle groans, letting his head fall back against the bed frame behind him. "i'm not trying to avoid him. i'm just... wanting to remove his access to sex."

"that's called a dry spell," jeno says. "it's called manipulation," jaemin mutters. "no! it's strategy." chenle argues, frustrated. 

"so you're saying that if i keep acting normal, like, we cuddle and stuff, but i stop initiating sex, then eventually he'll notice something's missing without thinking i'm mad. right?" jeno pauses like he's giving it thought. 

"yeah, that's what makes sense, but the silent treatment won't work. if you're still affectionate, he won't think you're mad- he'll just get confused why you're not, you know, climbing him every night." jaemin nods. "yeah, and he'll start thinking about it. that's when he might make a move."

"i've been doing it wrong," chenle concludes, frowning. "so wrong it's painful to watch," jaemin replies, tossing a pillow at his face. "just go cuddle your boyfriend and don't start a fight. we're begging you."

chenle pouts, but he files the advice away. he's not ready to give up just yet- just ready to course correct. operation: make jisung beg is still underway.

his new plan is simple: make jisung think he's about to initiate something, only to pull away at the very last second. a fake-out, a tease. chenle knows how much jisung anticipates it when he's back from the gym, all flushed and tired and warm. 

he always comes home to chenle waiting, touching, climbing into his lap like he's starving. so this time, chenle waits like usual, except he won't give in. not until jisung does first.

when jisung walks into their room, gym bag slung over one shoulder, damp hair clinging to his forehead, chenle practically short circuits. it takes every ounce of willpower not to cave, his fingers curl into the blanket instead.

"hey, handsome," chenle says, sitting up in bed, voice soft and full of sugar, eyes dragging down jisungs body like he's deciding what part to bite first. "hey, freak," jisung grins, smirking as he toes off his shoes. "you feeling better?" he asks, probably thinking about the morning.

"yeah, i'm sorry," chenle says, his voice lighter than before, smile sweet. "i was just in a weird mood. not because of you." he adds quickly, and jisung gives a small nod, that gentle concern still lingering in his eyes.

"okay," jisung murmurs, placing his bag down with a soft thud. "just... talk to me next time, alright?" he adds, and chenle nods again, watching the way jisung turns toward the dresser, scratching at the back of his neck like he's unsure.

"jisungie," chenle calls, all sing-song and dripping with intent. jisung turns, "hm?" he says, a little smile pulling at his lips. "come here," chenle says, patting his lap.

jisung steps forward without hesitation, like always. and chenle meets him, arms winding around jisungs waist, his face pressing into his boyfriends neck. he can smell the sweat, the shampoo, the skin. he's seconds away from losing.

don't smell him. don't fucking smell him.

jisungs hands move under chenles shirt, fingers brushing up his sides- like instinct, like muscle memory. chenle lets it happen for one perfect, anticipatory second- then pulls back, nose scrunching like jisung just handed him a dirty sock.

"go shower," he says, voice still all sugar. "so we can watch our show." he watches jisungs expression flicker, confusion, disappointment, something that almost looks like a pout, before he nods, backing away with a stretch and a grunt.

chenle hides his grin behind the blanket. stage one: complete.

watching the show goes as normal. their legs are tangled under the duvet, the light from the tv painting their faces in soft flashes. chenles head eventually drops to jisungs shoulder, his hair brushing lightly against jisungs jaw. 

their hands find each other somewhere beneath the blanket, fingers lacing together like it's second nature. they don't talk much, they never really need to during moments like this. the warmth of the bed, the quiet hum of the tv, the rise and fall of each other's breathing- it's enough.

eventually, jisung shifts. his head drops down to chenles chest, cheek pressing over his heart like he's trying to sync his rhythm to it. chenles fingers are already there, carding gently through jisungs hair, a lazy, loving motion that slows as he gets sleepier. he doesn't even notice when the episode ends.

by the time jisung is fully asleep, chenle's barely holding on himself. he presses a soft kiss to jisungs head and lets the sound of the credits lull them both under.

the next morning, sunlight filters through the curtains, and for the first time in what feels like forever, when jisung reaches over, chenle is there. warm, soft, tangled in the sheets and entirely his.

he groans when jisung touches him, just like always, rolling lazily into his arms like it's the hardest thing he's ever had to do. "too early," chenle mumbles, pressing his cold toes against jisungs shin.  "why is it always morning?" 

jisung laughs, "because time is linear," he jokes, burying his face in chenles hair. "you're linear, loser." chenle mutters, curling into his chest, complaining in soft little grumbles until jisung wraps him up completely and kisses the top of his head.

it's so normal, so them. it makes jisung think maybe he'd been worried over nothing, maybe chenle was just having an off couple of days. just like everyone does. and maybe now, whatever it was, it's over.

he kisses chenle again and doesn't think twice about it. he doesn't notice the way chenles eyes blink open just briefly, focused on nothing, unreadable, before fluttering shut again.

more days pass like this.

everything is normal. almost too normal. schedules, dances, tiktoks, youtube videos, dumb reels they film on jisungs phone and delete before anyone sees. practice is tiring, long and repetitive. the kind of exhausting that makes your bones ache.

and chenle?

chenle is perfectly fine again; no weird moods, no sudden silences. he doesn't pull away, doesn't dodge his touch, doesn't act like something's wrong. if anything, he's back to being clingy, affectionate, and sweet. he falls asleep next to jisung like nothing's changed.

except something has, and it's driving jisung insane.

it's been nearly four days. four days since they've had sex. to some people, that wouldn't mean anything- totally normal, understandable even. but for them? for chenle and jisung, who've been all over each other since the moment they could be?

this is unheard of.

it's not that jisung's desperate (okay, he is, but he's trying to be cool about it.), it's just- chenle used to be the one begging. crawling into his lap, kissing down his neck, whining into his mouth like he couldn't breathe unless jisung gave in.

now he kisses him goodnight with a sweet little smile and rolls over like it's nothing, like he isn't ruining jisungs entire life. and the worst part? he's so normal about it, so composed. like the past four days haven't been celibate hell, like jisung isn't losing his mind.

jisung tries, he really does. he kisses chenle a little longer than usual before practice, lets his hands wander a bit more in the dressing room, lays it on thick when they're curled up together watching something dumb.

but chenle never takes the bait. he just smiles, kisses him back, and keeps watching the screen like jisung isn't ready to throw himself out the window. at one point, jisung even checks his breath, brushes his teeth again. sprays a little cologne behind his ears just to be sure; chenle compliments him, then goes right back to editing a tiktok.

jisung has had enough, he's one more ignored signal away from snapping. and maybe that's exactly what chenle's waiting for.

"jisung's been giving you looks all evening," jaemin whispers, barely moving his lips, and chenle flicks his gaze to the mirror across the dance studio, where jisung is very obviously not paying attention to the choreography.

instead, he's watching them. "good," chenle says with a quiet snort. "hopefully he breaks soon." jaemins expression shifts into amused surprise. "gosh, more than a day without you guys fucking? unheard of."

chenle grins, unbothered. "it's been four. i'm impressed he's lasted this long, honestly." jaemin stares at him. not judging, but definitely confused. "you're the one that used to whine when he was gone for, like, a night."

"i know," chenle says, stretching his arms above his head with the kind of smug calm that only comes with total control. "but i can feel it- he's getting close to losing it." jaemin follows chenles gaze back to the mirror. 

jisung hasn't moved. he's still watching, his head tilted slightly like he's trying to figure something out. when their eyes meet in the reflection, jisung gives a slow, crooked smile. chenle smiles back.

"you're so ridiculous," jaemin mutters, wiping sweat from his forehead with the edge of his sleeve. "i just want him to give in," chenle bites back, still watching jisung through the mirror like he's waiting for him to combust on the spot.

jaemin lets out a soft laugh. "so glad i can just communicate with my boyfriend." chenle snorts, finally dragging his eyes away. "that's not fun."

"yeah, well, neither is being edged for four days straight," jaemin says under his breath, and chenle elbows him with a grin. "i'm building tension," chenle says, smug as ever. "oh my god," jaemin sighs, half-laughing. "get a grip. and get dancing."

"yes, capt'," chenle mumbles, finally refocusing as the music starts up again. but as he moves into position, he catches jisungs eyes one last time in the mirror- dark, hungry, and so clearly hanging by a thread.

he grins. oh yeah, he's so close.

he was right.

that night, as they curl into bed together, chenle's already nestled under the blanket, back turned, phone in hand, light from the screen casting a glow across his cheek. jisung doesn't lay down right away.

he sits up instead, legs crossed under the duvet, fiddling with his fingers, eyes flicking between chenle and the wall like he's trying to decide how to say something he's already said in his head ten different ways.

a minute passes, then two. then- sigh.

chenle feels the shift in the mattress first. and then, finally, jisung leans in, presses his nose into the curve of chenles neck, warm breath ghosting across his skin. "baby," he whines, voice soft and pitiful, and chenle has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing out loud.

he also has to will down the electric thrill shooting straight through his spine. "yeah?" chenle mutters, pretending to stay focused on his instagram reels, thumb still lazily scrolling.

"we haven't had sex in a while..." jisung whispers, lips brushing the shell of chenles ear as he talks. he presses the gentlest kiss to his earlobe, and chenle ducks his head automatically at the feeling, a tiny gasp escaping before he can stop it.

he clears his throat, regains control. "really?" he says, casual as ever, biting his lip to keep the grin off his face. he feels jisung press closer, warm and desperate against his back. "i hadn't noticed."

"hm," jisung whines again, so close now chenle can feel his chest rising against him with every breath. jisungs hands sneak around his waist, sliding under his shirt like they belong there- which they do.

he noses against chenles neck again, voice lower now. needier. "i miss you," jisung mumbles, like it's physically painful to admit. his fingers trace slow, pleading shapes over chenles stomach, and he's holding him like he's afraid he'll slip through his arms if he doesn't hold tight enough.

chenle doesn't respond. he keeps his eyes on the phone screen, thumb still scrolling like nothing's happening, like jisungs arms around his waist and breath against his skin aren't melting him from the inside out.

he doesn't want to be the one to turn around and give in, not yet. if jisung wants it that bad, he's going to have to ask. chenle feels a knee slip between his thighs, then the softest kiss pressed right beneath his jaw.

"please?" jisung whispers, barely audible, like he's afraid of the word but can't help saying it.

chenle quite literally feels butterflies explode in his stomach. his breath catches, and he has to clear his throat just to steady himself. one hand lifts, moving down to rest over jisungs where it's spread across his stomach.

"what was that?" he murmurs, voice teasing, thick with amusement as he tilts his head back just enough to glance at jisung over his shoulder. jisungs cheeks are flushed, his brows are drawn together, frustration and embarrassment mixing in his expression. 

"are you really gonna make me beg?" he asks, like it's the worst possible thing chenle could do to him. and god, chenle loves him like this. loves him needy, embarrassed, unraveling. he's not sure he's ever seen jisung like this before.

"yeah," chenle says simply, like it's the easiest answer in the world. his tone is pure cockiness, laced with pride. like he planned for this exact moment; because he did. "chenle," jisung whines, hips pressing forward, grinding subtly against chenles backside in a way that makes chenles breath hitch all over again.

"jisung," chenle mocks back, flipping his phone screen off, tossing it to the side without looking. "you're so dramatic." he hears jisung let out a soft, desperate sound, something between a sigh and a moan, and then, again: "please?"

chenle swallows thickly, heat building low in his stomach. his breathing getting heavier, he knows it, but he still doesn't move. doesn't turn around, not yet. then jisung says it again, softer this time.

"please, le... i need you." and just like that, chenle snaps. he feels the shift in himself- the way his whole body reacts to that one word, that soft, broken le in jisungs mouth. like it's a secret, like it means something heavier than it sounds.

his fingers twitch against jisungs hand, his body burns with restraint. "you need me?" chenle echoes finally, voice lower now, the cockiness thinning just slightly beneath the weight of want. "say it again." jisung hides his face against the back of chenles neck, breath hot, voice tighter this time. "i need you."

"what do you need me for, sungie?" chenle teases, shifting a little in jisungs arms just to feel the effect he's having. "you haven't touched me in four days, maybe you don't want me like you used to."

jisung groans, frustrated. it rumbles from his throat and pushes against chenles skin like a warning. "you started it." chenle turns his head just enough that their noses almost brush. "did i?" chenle replies, almost a whisper now, 

"yes," jisung says immediately. "and now i'm- i'm going crazy, chenle. i can't stop thinking about it, about you." chenle closes his eyes. god.

he turns fully in jisungs arms, finally, and the look on jisungs face nearly wrecks him- flushed, pupils blown wide, lips parted like he's starving. his hands grip chenle tighter now that he's facing him, like he's afraid he might disappear again.

"you really can't go without me, huh?" chenle says softly, almost fondly, like he's teasing but also kind of impressed. jisung nods, shamefully eager. "i don't want to." that does it.

chenle leans in, finally, and kisses him- slow and deep and full of every ounce of restraint he's held onto these last four days. jisung makes a sound into his mouth, something grateful and desperate, and pulls him in impossibly closer.

and chenle, breathless against his lips, mutters, "good boy, now you can have me." with that, chenle's suddenly on his back, head hitting the pillow with a soft thump. a gasp slips out before he can stop it, his eyes wide as jisung moves easily between his thighs, pressing him into the mattress.

a slow smirk ghosts across jisungs lips, dangerous and sweet all at once. "you did this on purpose, didn't you?" he asks, already tugging chenles pants down with practiced ease, not even giving him time to protest. his fingers are rough with want, but still careful, reverent.

chenle lets him, obviously.

he grins up at jisung like he hasn't just broken him down into something desperate and aching. "i dunno what you're talking about," he replies, tone sugar-sweet, hips lifting just enough to help. "you think i'd do that to you?"

"yes," jisung says immediately, matching chenles smile with one of his own- teasing, mocking, like he knows every little lie that lives in chenles mouth. chenle shrugs, legs parting easily under jisungs hands, his skin warm and flushed and buzzing. "guess we'll never know."

jisung leans down, breath hot against chenles ear, hands sliding up his thighs like a promise. "if you wanted to be ruined so badly, baby... you should've just said so." he mummers, chenle shivers, swallowing.

"i didn't want to ask," chenle admits, he watches jisung give him a look like he doesn't quite get what chenle means, but chenle doesn't expand further, not really. just bites down on his bottom lip, eyes dark and glittering, chest rising with every shallow breath.

he could say something cocky. could push further, keep teasing, keep pretending he's not completely falling apart under jisungs hands. but the truth is- he's never wanted anything more than he wants this.

jisung drags his hands slowly up chenles thighs, thumbs pressing into the soft skin as he spreads him open, settles deeper between his legs like he owns him, he does. he leans down again, brushing their lips together but not quite kissing him.

"you were so fucking patient," jisung breathes, almost in disbelief. "four days?" chenle swallows, barely nodding. "you're gonna let me make it up to you, right?" he teases. "yeah," chenle breathes out, finally, voice wrecked and quiet. "yeah, pease."

jisung kisses him then- slow at first, deep and overwhelming, and chenle melts into it, hands threading into jisungs hair like he's scared he might float away if he lets go. he pulls him closer, thighs wrapping around his waist without a second thought.

jisung takes it in, every noise, every sigh, every tremble of chenles hands. "you wanted to be in control so bad," jisung mumbles against his lips, rolling his hips down just enough to make chenle gasp. "but now you're mine."

chenle nods, eyes fluttering shut. "say it," jisung whispers, hand slipping lower, teasing. "say you're mine." and chenle, shameless, breathless, whispers it back like a prayer: "i'm yours." jisungs fingers sink into chenle, so gentle that chenle almost doesn't register it at first.

but then his eyes roll back at the feeling, mouth pulling away from jisungs to let out a soft, satisfied sigh. he opens his eyes briefly, just enough to glance at jisung, who's watching him closely, studying his every reaction like it's the only thing he knows how to do.

he continues to finger chenle slowly, deliberately, twisting and pressing at all the right places to make him unravel. when he pushes another in, just as gently, chenles whole body tenses, his thoughts going hazy. everything feels cloudy, and jisung hasn't even properly fucked him yet.

and then, finally, the fingers pull out of him, drawing a high whine from his throat. jisung laughs softly at the sound, like he always does, like chenles frustration is the funniest thing in the world- but chenle doesn't mind. he knows it's only a pause, he knows exactly what's coming next, so he lets jisung laugh. 

lets himself be ruined in the exact way he's been waiting for. jisung lines himself up, and then, like they've both been waiting for this moment for far too long, presses himself inside.

he pushes as deep as he can go, settling there for a second while chenle catches his breath, blinking up at him with glassy eyes and parted lips. then jisung pulls back out, slow and steady, setting a pace that's way gentler than either of them are used to.

but it feels good, it feels right. different, maybe, but still them. just softer.

chenle just about loses himself in it. his mind goes fuzzy around the edges, cloudy in the way he only gets when he feels completely safe, completely his. his hands settle beside his head, fingers twitching with every movement, and all he can do is let the sounds fall out of him, soft moans and sighs with every thrust jisung gives him.

each one melts into the next. everything feels slow, but full. chenles body trembling with every touch, his eyes fluttering open just to see jisung looking down at him like he's something sacred.

jisung freezes for a second, just taking it in. the way chenle looks beneath him- flushed and glowing, pupils blown wide, lips swollen from kissing, legs still wrapped around his waist like he doesn't ever want to let go.

he's seen chenle a hundred different ways, in every kind of light, but this? this is new. he kisses him again, slower this time. no teasing, no smirk. just mouths moving together like they've done this forever. like they'll do it again tomorrow, like there's nowhere else they could be.

chenles hands are in his hair again, tugging gently, nails dragging lightly across his scalp. jisung lets it guide him, lets it ground him as his hand slides further down, finally touching chenle the way he's been dying to all week.

chenle gasps into his mouth, back arching a little off the bed, and jisung groans softly at the way he moves- like he's starved for it, like he's been waiting every second for this moment. "you really missed me, huh?" jisung says quietly, teasing, but his voice breaks a little at the end.

"shut up," chenle breathes out, but there's no bite to it. he's trembling slightly now, eyes fluttering, fingers gripping jisungs shoulder. jisung thrusts in him slow, steady, with just enough pressure to make chenle gasp again.

it's all so close, so quiet, the only sounds in the room are the rustle of sheets and chenles soft, breathy whines "you're so sensitive," jisung whispers, kissing down chenles jaw, then his throat, taking his time. "is this what happens when you wait for me?"

"fuck," chenle gasps, head tipping back, chest rising. "don't stop. please don't stop." jisung presses his forehead to chenles collarbone, still moving just as slow, breath catching with every sound chenle makes.

and when chenle finally cums, shuddering, flushed, one hand clutching the sheets, the other tight in jisungs hair, he says jisungs name like it's the only thing he knows. jisung holds him through it, lets him fall apart in his arms.

"i got you," jisung murmurs, kissing the corner of his mouth. "i always got you." chenle blinks up at him, dazed and glowing, lips parted. "i missed you," he breathes out, quiet and honest now, no teasing left.

jisung kisses him again, soft and slow. he pulls out gently, moving over chenle to keep pleasuring himself, smiling down at the boy like he's the only thing that matters. "i missed you too, my love," jisung whispers, mouth parting with a soft gasp as he finally releases himself on chenles stomach.

chenle giggles lightly, the sound full of warmth, and when jisung meets his eyes, his vision drifts down to the cum settling on chenles skin. "that's excessive," chenle says, like it's not always excessive when jisung cums.

"that's what happens when i don't cum for days," jisung jokes, and chenle smiles right back. "gonna have to do this more often, then," chenle teases, voice playful. jisung rolls his eyes, silently hoping that's not true.

"seriously though, ji," chenle says, tone soft but serious now, eyes locked on jisungs. "i want you to fuck me whenever you want. i don't wanna be the one always asking."

"you'll regret that if i do," jisung jokes with a snort, pulling away and sitting back. chenle frowns up at him. "no i won't," he fights back, but jisung just shrugs. "i'm serious. there's times i want to fuck you when you're asleep, but i'm obviously not going to."

maybe chenle is just super horny, or maybe he's actually insane, but the idea of that makes his head spin. "you can do that if you want," he says, quiet, like it's embarrassing to admit. he watches jisung furrow his eyebrows at him.

"what?" jisung asks, like he hadn't expected that kind of response. "i'm serious. whenever, wherever. even when i'm asleep, i want you to. i give you permission." chenle says with a shrug, looking everywhere but jisung. jisung raises an eyebrow. "i'm not gonna fuck you when you're asleep, chenle."

"whatever. i'm serious though," chenle insists. "i want to wake up to you already inside me." he says, looking up at jisung with a smile, like he's trying to show just how serious he is. the room is too dark to catch the flush rising on jisungs cheeks, but chenle can feel it in the shift of his silence.

"whatever," jisung mutters, rolling his eyes. "let's just shower and go to sleep." chenle giggles, letting jisung pull him up. "oh, you want me to go to sleep?" he teases, voice all sugary and knowing.

jisung lightly slaps his thigh in response, a silent little warning, and chenle just laughs harder.

jisung wasn't going to do it. he'd already decided that in his head- he wasn't. he only really said it as a joke, something stupid that slipped out without much thought, without expecting chenle to take it seriously.

but of course he had. of course chenle had looked him dead in the eye and said, "you can do that if you want." like it was the most normal thing in the world. like jisung hadn't just said something borderline insane.

it doesn't exactly surprise him. chenle's always been like that; blunt, shameless, reckless in the way he wants things. no matter how irrational, no matter how intense. but still, it was just a joke. right?

okay, fine. maybe it wasn't just a joke. maybe jisung had thought about it, maybe more than once. maybe he's spent too many nights lying beside chenle, watching his chest rise and fall while the boy slept soundly, completely unaware.

maybe there's something about that- something about how soft chenle looks when he's like that. something about how trusting he is, how vulnerable, how powerless. something that makes jisungs stomach twist with a want he doesn't fully understand.

something heavy, something quiet. something that makes him wonder if chenle knew what he was saying when he gave that permission.

either way, it was driving jisung insane. especially now- late, quiet, the room barely lit by the glow from the hallway, and he's hard, achingly so, with chenle curled up beside him, fast asleep. peaceful. and all jisung can think about is how badly he wants to fuck him. it makes his head spin, makes his whole body tense with restraint.

he knows chenle would let him, if he were awake. he'd probably smile, whisper something filthy, tell jisung to take what he wants, he always does. pliant and obedient in all the ways that make jisung weak. but this? 

the idea of chenle like this, completely still, completely unaware of jisung moving over him, pressing into him, taking his time without a word? that's what gets him. the power of it, the trust of it.

it's late. the sheets are warm, the room is dark. chenle is asleep on his stomach, his cheek smushed against the pillow, breathing slow and even. his back rising with every inhale, bare under the blanket. jisung's hard, aching, and the ache has only gotten worse with every minute of listening to chenles soft breathing beside him.

he should turn over and go to sleep, be good. but then he thinks about what chenle said "even when i'm asleep, i want you to. i give you permission." he's been trying to ignore it for weeks. the idea of chenle warm and loose beneath him, completely out of it, pliant. unable to talk back, unable to tease. just his to take.

jisung swallows, fingers flexing at his side.

they talked about this more that night in the shower together. safe words, signals, rules. chenle had been annoyingly specific and refusing to let jisung push the idea to the back of his head. "you stop the second i tell you," he'd said. "but you won't have to. i want this."

and now, lying here in the dark, watching his boyfriend sleep like he'd asked for this very moment, jisung finally gives in. he shifts under the blanket, slow and careful, moving closer to chenles body.

the boy shifts slightly in his sleep as jisung presses closer to his back, and jisung finds himself holding his breath, hoping he won't wake chenle just yet. his hands slip under the waistband of chenles shorts, dragging them down off his hips.

he pushes chenles leg up, finding it somewhat hard to position himself when chenle's not as plaint and his limbs are weak, but he figures this will do- he wants chenle too badly right now to even worry about positioning anyway.

he coats his finger in his own spit, pushing chenles leg further as he moves his hand down to his boyfriends rim. chenle stirs very slightly as jisung pushes his finger in his boyfriend, and something swells in jisungs stomach.

about how wrong this feels, but also how very right it feels.

how blissfully unaware chenle is to what jisung is doing to him, even if it's just as simple as pushing a single finger into him. jisung continues to finger him, mouth pressed against chenles back as he moves closer, listening to the breathing of his sleeping boyfriend start to get ragged.

he wonders what chenle is dreaming about- whether his subconscious can feel it, if he's dreaming of the same thing that's happening to him in real life. the idea makes jisungs head spin, and he pulls his fingers out, not wanting to wait any longer.

so, he lines himself up as best he can, then, as slow as ever, pushes into chenle. his boyfriend shifts again, twisting his body slightly like he's trying to move away from whatever the feeling is- but jisung just grabs onto him, pulling chenles body back toward him.

when he's fully inside chenle, he stills, shaking slightly. he looks over at chenles face; the boy is still asleep, peaceful and unaware. his eyes pressed shut, mouth slightly open, letting out soft breaths.

jisung smiles at him, pressing a small kiss to chenles cheek as he pulls back out slowly, a shaky breath of his own escaping his lips. aside from what's happening right now, jisung's not sure he'll ever get over the feeling of making love to chenle.

maybe it's just because he's truly in love with the boy, but he's never felt anything like it. never experienced such good pleasure, never craved anyone the way he craves chenle, never felt so deeply attached to someone.

he really loves chenle, even with their weird kinks.

so, he thrusts deeper into chenle, eyes closed, focusing solely on the pleasure. his arms stay wrapped around chenles waist, trying not to let the sleeping boy slip away. he tries to be gentle, hoping chenle won't wake up- but he can't help himself.

his pace speeds up like it has a mind of its own, fucking chenle relentlessly the way he always does.

a sudden feeling pulls chenle out of his sleep, and the first thing he feels is intense pleasure. it rips a loud, almost blood-curdling moan out of his mouth as his eyes fly open. jisungs hand presses harshly against his mouth, and his pace slows down.

"it's just me," jisung says, breath heavy and full of want. it takes chenle a good minute to figure out what's going on, his brain cloudy from sleep, wondering why he feels so good. "wait," chenle stutters, eyes flickering down.

jisung slows even more, arms still wrapped tight around chenle. "i can stop if you want," jisung says, though it sounds like he really doesn't want to. chenle doesn't reply immediately, his mind still racing to process what's going on.

he's completely okay with this, wanted it, in fact, but that doesn't make it any less strange, being woken up with someones dick in your ass. still, he wants it to continue. so he reaches behind him, tugging jisung closer.

"keep going," he breathes, and that's all it takes for jisung to fuck back into him relentlessly. chenles eyes roll back, another loud moan escaping his mouth, prompting jisungs hand to cover it again.

it's intense, being taken from zero to a hundred in a second. chenle missed the slow build-up, the part where he could prepare himself, adjust to the feeling, and instead, he's thrown straight into the deep end. it overwhelms him in a way that almost feels like falling, but somehow still safe.

but it also means his body shakes violently, his head spins, and he can't hold back any of the noises slipping past his lips. every sound feels too loud in the quiet room, every breath sharp and fast.

"shh," jisung whispers against his ear, and chenle swallows hard, pressing his eyes shut. he nods, trying to quiet himself, trying to focus on jisungs warmth, the way his arms are still wrapped tight around him.

but it doesn't work- all he can think about is the feeling of jisung fucking into him, the way jisungs fingers press into his hips in a way he knows will leave bruises, and how his brain is still cloudy from sleep, his tired closed eyes, the way he just wants to fall back asleep and let jisung take care of him.

"feels good," chenle whines against jisungs hand, voice breathy, shuddering as jisung grinds over his prostate in a way chenle knows is purposeful. he can't tell if he's fully awake or still in that space between- not quite asleep, not fully present. jisungs touch grounds him, even as it makes him float.

his fingers find jisungs without thinking, lacing through them, needing to hold onto something real. "i think i'm gonna pass out," he says, body shaking. his skin feels too hot and too cold at the same time.

jisung pauses, "you okay?" he asks, voice low with concern. "yeah," chenle breathes. "just feels good..." he buries his face into the pillow, holding tighter to jisungs hand. "keep going, even if i pass out."

jisung exhales, a soft, broken sound. "you sure?" chenle nods, eyes closed. "please."  jisung presses his forehead against the back of chenles neck for a moment, grounding himself. 

he doesn't say anything right away- just breathes, trying to hold onto the way chenle feels beneath him, the way their hands are linked, the way chenle trusts him this much.

then he starts again, slowly, deliberately. careful not to shake him too much, not to break the fragile spell that's settled over both of them like a blanket. his hands stay firm on chenles hips, but his grip softens, fingertips brushing circles into his skin like he's trying to soothe him through every second.

chenle is quiet now, not because he's holding back, but because he's drifting. his body stays pliant beneath jisungs, occasionally tensing when the feeling grows too intense, then relaxing again. 

it's like watching him fall deeper into something safe- like he's slipping further away and closer at the same time. a feeling he's become familiar with around jisung. "you're okay," jisung murmurs, not even sure if chenle's awake enough to hear it. "i've got you."

he adjusts slightly, leans down to kiss chenles shoulder, then the nape of his neck. he lingers there for a moment, lips barely touching skin, listening to the way chenle breathes- soft and shaky. "i love you," jisung whispers, not needing a reply.

chenles fingers twitch around his, just once, and that's enough to make him cum deep inside his boyfriend.

when chenle wakes up again, it's morning and jisung is sleeping soundly next to him. the bed is clean, his pants are back on, and he'd almost think he'd imagined it if it weren't for the slight sting below him.

it's also slightly disappointing. he kind of wanted to be woken with jisungs cum inside him, just as proof that jisung did actually continue, that he came in chenle even when the boy was unconscious and left it there for him to find.

but he pushes that thought aside, curling into his warm boyfriends chest, breathing in the scent of him and the warm linen of his shirt. jisung stirs lightly, arms instinctively wrapping around chenle.

"you okay?" jisung hums quietly, and chenle nods. "more than okay," he replies, then listens to jisungs small hum. "did you finish?" chenle asks after a minute, and jisung lets out a chuckle, threading his fingers through chenles fringe.

"yeah, right after you fell asleep." he says. chenle nods, content. "good."

"hey baby," jisungs voice hums from behind chenle a couple days later at practice, warm and teasing, accompanied by his hands sliding around chenles waist and his chin settling on his shoulder. 

chenle catches their reflection in the mirror, his own smile tugging at his lips before his hands move to rest over jisungs arms. "hi," he answers softly, leaning back into the hold for just a moment, letting himself feel how easily jisung fits against him.

"wanna go on a date tonight?" jisung asks, voice casual. chenle arches a brow, pretending to think, though they both know he'd never say no. "sure, where?" he murmurs, tilting his head slightly so he can catch a glimpse of jisungs face instead of just their reflections.

"dinner," jisung says simply. then one hand slips from chenles waist, disappearing into his pocket. "wear this, and make sure you look extra pretty," he adds, pressing a small box into chenles hand and sealing the instruction with a quick kiss against his temple before pulling away like nothing happened, heading back toward the other members to resume practice.

chenle looks down at the box, heart thudding, fingers tightening around it. he gives it a little shake, frowning when it rattles faintly, curiosity clawing at him. wear this? his first thought is jewelry, maybe a bracelet, or a necklace, and the idea alone makes a faint blush creep up his neck.

but when he finally pries the lid open, peeking inside, his face burns so hot he can feel it in his ears.

he snaps the lid shut instantly, almost dropping it in his rush, eyes darting around the room to check if anyone saw. no one's looking, except jisung, who isn't even meeting his gaze directly, just stretching casually while the corner of his mouth pulls into the most insufferable, knowing smirk.

a bullet vibrator. jisung wants him to wear a bullet vibrator out to dinner.

chenle exhales hard, dragging a hand down his face before shoving the little box deep into his bag, like burying it could erase the thought. his first thought is just to forget it, pretend it never existed. jisung wouldn't be upset if he didn't go through with it.

but then, as practice drags on and jisung keeps catching his eye in the mirror, chin tipped with that quiet challenge, the idea starts to fester. his stomach twists, pulse skipping each time he imagines the idea. it's reckless. humiliating. kind of insane.

and the worst part? it's hot. hotter than it should be.

by the time practice ends, chenle's already decided. he owes jisung back, anyway. and maybe he just wants to see how far jisung will take it. either way, he tucks the box deeper into his bag, cheeks still warm, and silently commits to wearing it.

then, he's standing in front of the mirror, studying his reflection like it might give him an answer. this will be their second proper date, after the first one where jisung had asked him to be his boyfriend, and chenle almost can't believe jisung actually wants him to do this.

almost, because honestly, there isn't much left that could shock him when it comes to their sex life. jisung has already ruined him in ways he never imagined possible. still... public? 

chenle exhales, lips twitching in a humorless smile. maybe this is karma for riding jisung that one time while jisung was on call with their members.

anyway, he thinks he looks pretty enough. whatever that's supposed to mean. his hair is styled neatly, parted perfectly on the side. light makeup dusted on his face, enhancing his eyes, the cut of his jaw. 

black dress pants, a crisp white shirt tucked in just right, silver jewelry catching the light. he stares, tilts his head, smooths down a wrinkle in his sleeve. pretty. he's pretty.

still, he asks jaemin what he thinks, which only earns him a laugh and an unhelpful, "you look normal, idiot." not extra pretty. not the way jisung had said it.

so chenle keeps staring. ten minutes pass, maybe more, his own reflection taunting him. and then it finally clicks. extra pretty. he feels his stomach flip.

there's one thing missing. one thing he had almost, stupidly, forgotten about after all this fuss. the fucking bullet vibrator. jisung hadn't been talking about his hair or his outfit or his jewelry at all. he meant that.

chenle sighs loudly, dragging a hand through his styled hair until it musses a little, frustrated with himself. he stares at the strands falling out of place, his own reflection staring back. and suddenly the thought hits him: maybe that's exactly the point. 

maybe jisung wants to see all of this effort undone piece by piece. his makeup smudged from a palm pressed hard over his mouth, his hair ruined from restless hands running through it, his clothes wrinkled and shifted as he squirms in his seat trying to keep control.

the image makes his chest tight, makes his thighs press together before he can stop himself. he swallows hard, cursing under his breath.

shaking the thoughts off, chenle finally turns from the mirror, moving toward his bag where he'd shoved the little box deep out of sight. his fingers hover over the zipper for a long moment, nerves buzzing under his skin. and then, with a sharp inhale, he drags it open.

he pulls the box out, small and harmless in his hand, though it feels anything but. the idea of it is enough to make his pulse trip over itself, his chest tight as he flicks the lid open again. the vibrator stares back at him, sleek, silver, and innocent enough, like it isn't about to ruin his entire night.

he sighs again, softer this time, more resigned than frustrated. jisung, of course it's him. only jisung could make something like this sound like a casual accessory, like cufflinks or a necklace. wear this.

he runs his thumb over it slowly, hesitating. it would be easy not to. jisung wouldn't be mad- he might tease, but he'd let it go. but there's a heavy, unspoken challenge tucked between those words, one chenle can't shake. jisung wants to see if he'll do it, if he'll obey.

and god help him, chenle wants to prove he can.

with a shaky breath, he sets the box on the dresser and grabs his lube, then starts unbuttoning his pants. his reflection catches his movements in the mirror, and for a second, he has to look away.

his face is already too red, too telling. he shoves the fabric down just enough, sliding his underwear lower, fingers fumbling more than they should as he pours the lube over the small thing.

the first press of the vibrator against his rim makes him flinch, his breath stuttering out in a quiet gasp. he squeezes his eyes shut, steadying himself, before carefully easing it inside. it's smaller than he expected, but the stretch still makes him tense, a shiver running through him as it settles in place- right up against his prostate.

his hands grip the dresser to ground himself, chest rising and falling quickly. it feels... wrong, almost. wrong to be standing in front of his mirror, fully dressed except for the mess he's made of his pants, a vibrator snug inside him. wrong, and so intoxicating.

he fixes himself back up with clumsy hands, tugging his pants into place, re-tucking his shirt. when he finally looks up, the mirror shows him a boy who looks nearly perfect. hair styled, makeup neat, outfit pristine. no one would ever guess.

but he knows, jisung will know.

his lips part, just barely, as he reaches for the box again and slips it back into his bag, hiding the evidence. then, one last glance at the mirror. he straightens his collar, wipes at the corner of his eye, forces his expression neutral.

still, the faintest tremor runs through him when he whispers to his reflection, almost like a confession: "extra pretty."

his ears are flushed when jisung walks back into their room a little later, the heat creeping all the way down his neck. chenle shifts on his feet, subtle, like maybe that will ease the pressure inside him- but it doesn't. every step, every breath, reminds him.

it feels a little silly, in a way. jisung has put a butt plug in him before, and chenle had worn it out to eat dinner with their members. he'd even chosen it himself that time, smug in his own daring. but this... this is different.

this isn't about filling him. this is about control- pleasure jisung can spark at any time, anywhere, in front of anyone, just because he feels like it. the thought makes chenles stomach twist, his thighs press a little too close together before he forces them apart again.

"you look gorgeous," jisung says, voice smooth as he steps further into the room. his gaze drags down chenles body, slow and deliberate, like he knows exactly what's beneath the clothes. 

chenle feels pinned to the spot, skin prickling under that look, like jisung could see the vibrator through the fabric if he wanted to.

chenle hums softly in reply, his eyes tracing over jisung as he moves to his desk. he looks unfairly good. black dress pants that sit just right on his hips, a matching shirt buttoned neatly, his hair styled back in a way that makes him look sharper, older. undeniably confident.

"thank you," chenle whispers, then clears his throat, embarrassed at how quiet he sounds. jisung doesn't tease him for it. instead, he picks something up from his desk, something small, something chenle can't quite see, and slips it casually into his pocket. chenles stomach sinks, knowing exactly what it must be.

"ready to go? the driver's downstairs," jisung asks, his tone light, like he isn't carrying a remote that could unravel chenles entire night.

chenle nods, quick, obedient, and moves to follow behind him. his feet feel strange, unsteady, and the humiliation of knowing it's not because of his dress shoes makes him want to cover his face with his hands. instead, he trails after jisung quietly, like a lost puppy, keeping his eyes low.

the elevator ride feels too short. then they're stepping into the evening air, city lights spilling across the pavement, the sleek black car waiting for them. jisung opens the door with an easy flourish, letting chenle slip in first.

the leather seat is cold against his thighs, a contrast to the heat building in his chest. he tries to sit casually, tries to cross one leg over the other like he isn't already fighting the awareness of what's inside him. jisung climbs in beside him, close enough that their shoulders brush, and the door clicks shut.

the car hums to life, pulling away from the curb. chenle stares out the window, heart in his throat, waiting for it, that first cruel buzz.

but it doesn't come, not yet. jisung he sits back, one leg crossed over the other, scrolling lazily through his phone as if they're just two boyfriends going out to dinner. he looks unfairly relaxed, like nothing's out of the ordinary. which, of course, is worse.

the city slips past in streaks of neon and blurred headlights, but chenle barely sees any of it. he's too busy trying to steady his breathing, his hands folded neatly in his lap like that'll make him look normal. 

he can feel every bump of the road, every shift of the car beneath him, the toy resting quiet inside him like a secret waiting to explode.

and then, without warning, it happens.

a low buzz hums to life inside him, sudden and sharp, and chenles entire body jerks. he grabs the edge of the seat with both hands, knuckles white, a strangled sound caught in his throat. the vibration is steady, insistent, his thighs clenching immediately around the sensation.

"fuck-" he hisses under his breath, turning his face toward the window to hide the heat flooding his cheeks.

jisung finally looks up from his phone, expression cool, but there's a glint in his eye that betrays how much he's enjoying this. "something wrong, baby?" he asks, his tone dripping with feigned innocence.

chenle shoots him a look, wide-eyed and desperate, but jisung only smirks, thumb rolling the dial higher. the vibrator kicks up a notch, and chenle gasps, clapping a hand over his mouth before the driver can hear.

his body twists subtly in the seat, trying to find some position that dulls the stimulation, but there isn't one. it's everywhere, pulsing through him, forcing his muscles tight. his eyes squeeze shut, chest heaving as he bites down on the inside of his cheek to keep quiet.

"you do look extra pretty tonight," jisung murmurs low, just for him, leaning close enough that his breath brushes chenles ear. "especially like this."

chenle whimpers, muffled against his palm, his reflection flashing in the window- eyes glassy, lips parted, just about as every bit as wrecked as jisung wanted. and the worst part? they aren't even at the restaurant yet.

the car pulls to a smooth stop, and chenle is already buzzing- not just inside, but all over, his skin hot, his chest tight from holding himself together.

 jisung had let the vibrations fade halfway through the ride, only to flick them back on once, briefly, just to watch chenles legs press tight together like he couldn't help it. by the time the driver opens the door for them, chenle feels unsteady on his feet, his knees threatening to give.

"after you," jisung says easily, stepping out first and holding a hand out for him. his smile is polite, calm, the smile of a man taking his boyfriend out to dinner. nothing more.

chenle takes his hand, forcing his face neutral, and steps out into the warm night. he's too aware of the fact that the remote is still in jisungs pocket, and that jisung hasn't even begun to really use it yet.

the restaurant is high-end, elegant, just like the one chenle picked out for them. a host greets them immediately, leading them through the dimly lit space. chandeliers glow soft gold overhead, crystal glasses catching the light on every table. chenle keeps his head slightly down, praying no one notices the faint tremor in his steps.

jisung walks beside him, a hand resting casually on chenles lower back as if guiding him. his touch feels like a brand- steady, protective, but also a reminder. i'm right here. i'm the one in control.

they're seated in a quiet corner booth, half-shielded by tall plants. chenle slides into his seat across from jisung, adjusting his shirt as if that will help ground him. his heart is still pounding, his thighs pressed together under the table.

"you okay?" jisung asks smoothly once the waiter has stepped away, his tone perfectly innocent as he reaches for the wine list. chenle swallows hard. "yeah," he manages, his voice embarrassingly thin.

jisung hums, flipping a page, not even looking up. "good. because we've got the whole night ahead of us." and then, just as the waiter returns with menus, jisungs thumb presses the button in his pocket.

the vibrator roars back to life inside him, stronger than before. chenles fingers curl tight around the edges of his menu, his lips parting in a silent gasp as he forces his expression blank, praying the waiter doesn't notice.

jisung doesn't even look at him. he thanks the waiter politely, his smile calm, his voice steady, as if his boyfriend isn't falling apart across the table. 

the first real buzz hits when the waiter sets down the wine. chenle almost drops his glass, fingers tightening around the stem as his whole body jerks once, subtle but noticeable. he hides it behind a quick cough into his napkin, eyes darting to jisung.

jisung doesn't even glance up. he thanks the waiter smoothly, swirls his wine like he's at ease, like nothing is happening under the table.

chenle swallows the burn of alcohol, trying to relax into his seat. the vibrations are steady, low, not unbearable, yet. enough to make his thighs tense, enough to steal his focus.

"how was practice earlier?" jisung asks, tone casual.

chenle blinks, forcing his thoughts into order. "uh- it was fine," he says quickly, voice a little too high. he clears his throat, shifts in his seat, and tries again. "jaemin kept messing up that turn, but... mark finally drilled it into him."

jisung hums, nodding along, sipping his wine. and then, right in the middle of chenles exhale, he clicks the remote. the strength doubles.

chenle gasps quietly, one hand sliding down to grip his thigh under the table. he stares at his plate like it's suddenly the most fascinating thing in the world, willing himself to stay still.

"you okay?" jisung asks smoothly, finally looking at him now, eyes sharp with amusement though his voice stays innocent.

"i'm- yeah," chenle mutters, words catching. he takes another sip of wine, letting it fill the silence, praying his ears aren't as red as they feel.

their food arrives, and the toy goes mercifully quiet. chenle nearly collapses in relief, stabbing at his food a little too eagerly. he almost forgets it's there, chatting more freely about an upcoming schedule, laughing when jisung teases him about sleeping in too much.

and then jisung hits the button again.

the sudden pulse makes chenles fork clatter against the plate, his laugh dying into a sharp inhale. he ducks his head quickly, pretending to wipe his mouth with his napkin, but his eyes snap to jisungs across the table.

jisung doesn't break character. he cuts neatly into his steak, lifts a bite to his mouth, chews slowly. "what were you saying?" he prompts, like nothing happened.

chenle glares at him, lips parting, but no words come out. the vibrations are steady, not intense but constant, curling heat low in his stomach. his body betrays him, shifting in his chair, thighs pressing together for relief.

he finally manages a whisper, leaning forward over the table. "you're- fucking evil." jisung only smirks, sipping his wine. "you're so pretty like this, though."

the vibrations cut off again, sudden silence inside him making his body twitch from the loss. chenle exhales shakily, hands fisting in his napkin as he tries to eat normally.

their conversation drifts again- jisung talks about a song idea, asks what chenle thinks about layering vocals differently. chenle tries to focus, nodding along, throwing in small comments here and there. the normalcy almost soothes him.

and then, mid-sentence, jisung turns it back on. higher this time.

chenles words break into a startled gasp, his knife slipping on the plate. the sound is sharp enough to make the couple at the next table glance over. chenle freezes, cheeks burning, mumbling an apology under his breath as he steadies himself.

jisung watches, eyes gleaming, but his voice stays steady. "careful, baby. don't want you to hurt yourself." chenle wants to kick him under the table, but his legs are trembling too much.

the waiter returns to check on them, asking politely if they'd like dessert. chenle shakes his head instantly, desperate for escape, but jisung beats him to it, smiling politely.

"yes. we'll have a look at the menu." the toy hums harder for just a second, pulsing so deep chenle almost bites his lip bloody to keep quiet.

the waiter walks away, and jisung leans forward, resting his chin on his palm, eyes fixed on chenle. "see? you're doing so well," he murmurs, voice soft like praise. "don't you want to show me how pretty you can be for the rest of the night?"

chenle grips the tables edge, chest heaving, and swears his heart might explode before dessert even arrives. "what do you want?" jisung asks, tone perfectly light as he flips his own menu open.

"i-" chenle swallows, his fingers curling into the tablecloth. "don't know." jisung hums, like he's thinking. then his thumb flicks the dial higher.

the toy throbs deep inside him, sudden and relentless, and chenles leg knocks the table hard enough to rattle the silverware. his breath stutters, a shaky whimper slipping out before he can catch it.

jisung glances up, calm as ever, one eyebrow raising slightly. "you okay, le?" chenle nods frantically, even though his eyes are glassy, his lips parted. his chest is rising and falling too fast, his throat tight around the sounds he's trying to swallow down.

the waiter reappears, and chenle nearly panics, his nails dig into his thigh under the table, face burning as he forces a tight smile. jisung orders for both of them smoothly, like nothing is wrong, and the second the waiter leaves again, chenles composure shatters.

he leans forward across the table, hands trembling as he grips the edge, his voice breaking into a whisper. "please." jisung tilts his head. "please what?"

chenles eyes squeeze shut, humiliation flooding him. "please turn it down," he begs quietly, barely audible, his voice strained. "i can't- jisung, i can't-"

jisungs lips curl into the faintest smile. he doesn't answer right away, just watches him, soaking in the desperation written all over his face. then, with deliberate slowness, jisung lowers the setting until the vibrations soften into a quiet hum.

chenle gasps in relief, slumping back in his chair. his whole body feels weak, his chest trembling with the effort it took to hold himself together.

jisung leans forward now, resting his elbows on the table, voice low and sweet. "see? all you had to do was ask nicely." chenle hides his face in his hands, muffling a whine, because jisung knows exactly how ruined he looks right now.

the waiter returns with their dessert- delicate plates of chocolate and fruit, drizzled with sugar and sauce. chenle can barely look at his, his hands tight in his lap, shoulders tense as if that alone could hold him together.

jisung thanks the waiter politely, even compliments the presentation, before the man leaves them alone again. the second he's gone, jisung flicks the remote.

the vibrator roars back to life, higher than before. chenle chokes on a gasp, his eyes snap shut, teeth sinking into his lower lip as his thighs clamp together beneath the table.

"eat," jisung says softly, as if it's the easiest thing in the world. chenle shakes his head once, frantic, his lips forming a broken whisper. "i, i can't-"

"yes, you can." jisungs voice is calm, firm, like he's coaxing a child. he leans back in his seat, watching, eyes glinting. "be good for me. take a bite."

with trembling hands, chenle fumbles for his fork again. his fingers are unsteady, clumsy, but he manages to cut off a small piece of cake and lift it to his lips. the second the fork touches his mouth, jisung presses the button again.

a sharp jolt tears through him, and chenle nearly drops the bite. his jaw tightens, lips parting around a muffled whimper as he chews desperately, his eyes wide and wet as they lock on jisung.

"that's it," jisung murmurs, satisfaction dripping from his tone. "pretty boy."

the toy keeps buzzing, steady and merciless. chenle shifts in his seat, his knees knocking against the table, making the glasses rattle. his hand presses into his thigh, nails biting through the fabric of his pants, the only thing keeping him from crying out.

"jisung-" he finally breathes, barely audible. "please, please stop-"

"no one's stopping you from leaving," jisung says easily, reaching for his wine. he sips slowly, eyes fixed on chenle over the rim of his glass. "but if you stay, you'll do as i say. understood?"

chenle nods quickly, desperate, his voice cracking as he whispers again, "please-"

the vibrations dip suddenly to a lower hum, and chenle shudders in relief, sagging back against the booth. his fork clinks against the plate, forgotten, his hands trembling where they rest on his thighs.

he knows he looks ruined, red-faced, lips bitten, eyes glassy, and jisung looks at him like it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. and then, just when chenle finally starts to catch his breath, jisung presses the button again.

higher.

chenles back arches off the seat, a choked sound breaking past his bitten lip as his thighs slam together under the table. his fork shakes in his hand, useless, as the vibrator hums deep inside him, every pulse winding him tighter. he swallows hard, a pitiful whine catching in his throat as he tries to keep quiet.

jisung doesn't look in a rush. he eats at a steady pace, sipping wine, cutting into his own dessert with precise, calm motions. every so often, his thumb twitches the dial, just enough to jolt chenles body, just enough to make him flinch or gasp or choke on air.

"you're trembling," jisung notes quietly, almost clinically, as if he isn't the one causing it. chenles hand curls into the edge of the table, his knuckles white. "p-please," he whispers again, his voice desperate and low, barely audible over the soft clink of silverware around them.

jisung only leans in a little, his words brushing like silk across the table. "don't stop begging now, it looks good on you."

the pressure in chenles chest is unbearable. he wants to hide, to cry, to give in all at once. his thighs press so tightly together under the table they ache, his body squirming in the booth despite every attempt to stay still.

a small, broken sound slips out when jisung raises the intensity higher, sudden and sharp. it's too loud, too risky, and chenle slaps a hand over his mouth, his wide eyes darting around the restaurant to see if anyone heard.

no one seems to notice, but jisung does. his lips curl into that insufferable smirk, satisfaction clear in every line of his face. "so pretty," jisung murmurs again, softer this time, like praise. chenles chest heaves, his pulse hammering in his ears. he's falling apart, and dessert is still untouched.

mercifully, jisung finally clicks the toy off. the silence inside chenles body is deafening, the absence of vibration leaving him shaky, like he's been hollowed out. "come on," jisung says smoothly, tossing a few hundred bills on the table before the waiter can even return. "let's go."

chenle stumbles out of the booth, his legs weak, his balance shaky. jisungs hand slides easily to his lower back as they walk through the restaurant, guiding him out like everything is perfectly normal.

but the second they step outside, into the cool night air, chenle breaks. he grabs jisungs sleeve, tugging him close, his eyes wide and wet, his voice breaking in a cracked whisper. "jisung, please, i can't- i can't hold it anymore."

jisung looks down at him, expression calm, collected, though his eyes burn with heat. "then don't." and before chenle can even process what that means, jisungs thumb presses the button again.

the vibrator roars back to life, stronger than it's been all night. chenles knees buckle, his entire body collapsing forward into jisungs chest, a muffled cry tearing from his throat as the last of his composure shatters completely.

the car door shuts behind them with a heavy click, sealing the two of them in a private little world. chenle's still clinging to jisungs arm, his whole body trembling like he can barely hold himself upright. the vibrator hasn't stopped since outside the restaurant, thrumming mercilessly inside him with every breath he takes.

jisung slides in next to him, smooth and unhurried, like he hasn't just destroyed his boyfriend in public. "seatbelt," he says simply, a low command, and chenle fumbles desperately with the buckle. 

his hands are shaking too much, the metal slipping, and jisung has to lean over to click it in place for him. "good boy," jisung murmurs, close to his ear, before sitting back and pulling out the remote again.

the car lurches forward, city lights flashing past the tinted windows, and chenle bites hard into his lip to keep from crying out. he curls one hand into the leather seat, the other gripping jisungs thigh like an anchor. his breath comes out shallow, broken little gasps he can't contain no matter how hard he tries.

"so quiet," jisung teases softly, eyes sliding to him in the dim glow. "where's that begging now, hm?" chenle shakes his head quickly, throat bobbing as a choked whimper escapes. "c-can't," he breathes out, "too much, it's too much-"

jisung only hums, like he's considering, then casually presses the button again. the toy kicks higher, sharper, and chenles whole body jerks against the seat. "jisung!" he yelps, voice cracking, before he slaps a hand over his own mouth, horrified at how loud he was.

the driver doesn't react, eyes fixed straight on the road, but that almost makes it worse; knowing someone could hear, could see, but is pretending not to.

jisung chuckles low, his hand reaching over to gently tug chenles wrist away from his mouth. "don't hide from me," he whispers, leaning close enough that his words ghost along chenles jaw. "i want to hear you."

tears prick chenles eyes. his thighs squeeze together helplessly, his whole body a live wire of need. "please, please, i need-" he stammers, his voice raw and breaking, "i can't-"

jisungs gaze lingers on him, unreadable except for the flicker of something sharp and hungry in his eyes. then, finally, mercifully, he dials the toy back down, letting chenle sag against the seat.

the rest of the ride passes in shaky silence, chenle curled small in the corner, clutching jisungs hand like a lifeline, every hum of the vibrator still pushing him closer to breaking even though it's low now.

when the car finally stops in front of their building, chenle can't even move at first. his legs feel like water, his chest rising and falling in shallow bursts. jisung has to slide out first, then reach back in to pull chenle out by the wrist.

the night air hits, cool and sharp, but it does nothing to settle him. jisungs hand finds the small of his back again, steady, guiding.

"home," jisung says simply, voice calm but promising, "and then i'll let you fall apart for me." chenle swallows hard, his face burning, his body already crumbling as they walk inside.

their bedroom door clicks shut behind them, muffling the world outside. chenle stumbles in first, breath ragged, nearly collapsing against the wall as jisung locks it. the vibrator is still humming, relentless, and it's like every second stretches him thinner, closer to snapping.

"jisung-" his voice cracks, high and broken, "please, i can't, i can't hold it anymore..."

jisung doesn't answer right away. he takes his time slipping his shoes off, hanging his jacket by the door. calm, composed, like nothing is out of place. the contrast makes chenles chest twist, because he feels like he's about to shatter.

finally, jisung turns. his eyes catch chenles, and something in that gaze makes his knees nearly buckle. "come here," jisung says, low and steady.

chenle staggers forward, almost falling into jisungs chest, and immediately fists his hands into jisungs shirt like it's the only thing keeping him upright. his whole body shakes.

"you did so well," jisung murmurs against his temple, one hand sliding down to the small of his back. "sitting through dinner, dessert... everyone watching you trying not to fall apart. you looked so beautiful, baby."

a choked sob breaks from chenles throat, his forehead pressing against jisungs shoulder. "i c-can't, please, i can't take it anymore, just- please..."

jisung clicks the button once more, just to hear chenle gasp and arch into him, and then, finally, he turns the toy off. the sudden silence inside his body makes chenles knees give out, his weight sagging heavy against jisung.

"shhh," jisung catches him easily, holding him upright, brushing a thumb along his damp cheek. "i've got you. it's over." but it's not really over, and chenle knows it. because jisung is leaning in, lips brushing his ear, whispering, "now i get to ruin you properly."

and chenle, already trembling, already undone, can only nod helplessly as he's pushed to the bed, clinging tighter, because he knows he's about to collapse for real.

"look at you," jisung murmurs, voice low and sharp, pressing a hand to the curve of chenles back. "all worked up, whining for me, begging like a little slut. is that what you are, huh?"

chenle gasps, shaking, his voice cracking as he chokes out, "y-yes, fuck.. please, jisung-"

jisung hums, dragging a finger slowly down chenles spine, making him arch helplessly. "such a desperate boy," he teases, smirking as he watches chenle tremble. "all dressed up, trying to be pretty for everyone... and it only takes a little push for you to melt like this."

the vibrator pulses again, and chenle cries out, hips pressing forward instinctively. jisung laughs low, pleased at the sound. "there it is. my pretty boy, ruined for me. you like it, don't you? sitting there at dinner, pretending, and now look at you. can't even keep your legs still."

chenle whimpers, muffling a moan into jisungs chest. "jisung, fuck, i'm yours-"

"yes, you are," jisung interrupts, pressing a thumb to the back of chenles neck, holding him flush against him. "and you're a little slut too. all of this, just for me. every gasp, every tremble... you're mine, and everyone else? they'll never know."

chenles hands clench at jisungs shirt, nails digging in as he shakes. "please, more... jus-"

jisung chuckles darkly, leaning down to whisper against his ear. "you're so cute when you beg. such a desperate little thing, wearing what i told you to, letting me watch you squirm, you love it, don't you?"

chenle shudders violently, hips pressing instinctively, moans breaking free despite himself. he's lost completely, trembling, whining, utterly undone under jisungs control.

jisung presses the remote again, just a pulse, and chenles back arches off the bed, arms wrapping around jisung like he's the only thing keeping him from falling apart entirely.

"that's it," jisung murmurs, voice low, teasing, and just out of reach. "look at you, so pretty, begging, quivering. my little fucktoy, made to be ruined."

chenle can't speak, he can't even think. every shudder, every soft whine is an answer in itself, and jisung knows it, grinning down at him as he watches him crumble completely into a heap of trembling need.

-

extra: nomin first time

jaemin never really thought about it too deeply, but when chenle came storming into his room, collapsing onto the floor and complaining about how jisung never initiates sex, he’d started to ponder. 

him and jeno have been together for a while now, nearly a month, and still, they haven’t had sex. sure, they’ve kissed, they cuddle just about every night, and they’ve done other things that leave his head spinning, but they haven’t gone all the way yet.

"i’ve been doing it wrong," chenle concludes, frowning. jaemin swallows down his own unsteady thoughts, and nods like he’s sure of himself. "so wrong it’s painful to watch," he shoots back, tossing a pillow at chenles face to deflect the weight of the conversation. "just go cuddle your boyfriend and don’t start a fight. we’re begging you."

chenle groans louder at that, hugging the pillow to his chest and muttering something about how unfair jisung is, how he just wants him to take control for once. jaemin laughs it off, but the sound doesn’t reach his eyes.

it’s ironic, really- sitting here giving chenle advice he doesn’t even know how to follow himself. telling him to talk to jisung, to tell him what he wants, when deep down, jaemin’s not sure he’d ever have the courage to tell jeno what he wants.

because wanting feels dangerous. it feels like exposing too much, like giving jeno the chance to reject him, and jaemin doesn’t think he could take that. so instead, he hides it. behind sarcastic comments, behind teasing advice to chenle, behind pretending it doesn’t matter.

but it does. it always does.

"they’re so ridiculous, all they have to do is talk," jeno says with a chuckle once chenle finally leaves their room, slamming the door behind him in his usual dramatic way. jeno flops back in his bed across the room, unlocking his phone casually, like this isn’t something worth thinking about at all. like it’s the simplest thing in the world.

jaemin laughs too, trying to match his tone, trying to act like his head isn’t spinning. "have they ever talked about anything?" he jokes, leaning back on his own bed and forcing a smirk.

jeno scoffs softly, glancing over at him once, before returning his attention to the glow of his screen. like it’s nothing, like it’s not a conversation worth having.

and jaemin is stumped. he stares up at the ceiling, listening to the faint clicking of jenos phone, wishing he could be like his friends. wishing he could just laugh it off, too. wishing he could turn his head and say, hey, let’s have sex, the way chenle says things without thinking, blunt and honest, even when it gets him into trouble.

but jaemin isn’t chenle. and jaemin doesn’t have that kind of confidence.

his throat feels tight just imagining the words leaving his mouth, his stomach knotting at the thought of jeno looking at him with confusion or, worse, disappointment. he doesn’t know how to initiate, doesn’t know if he even should.

what if jeno doesn’t want that? what if jeno’s fine with the way things are now; kisses, cuddles, slow touches that make jaemin dizzy but stop before they go too far? what if bringing it up ruins everything?

jeno lets out a soft laugh at something on his phone, the sound easy and unbothered, and jaemin can’t help but turn his head to look. he looks so calm, stretched out on his bed like he doesn’t have a single doubt in his mind.

and jaemin thinks, maybe it’ll just happen naturally. maybe one night things will go further and he won’t have to say anything at all. maybe that’s safer, less humiliating, less terrifying.

so he keeps his mouth shut. he swallows down the ache in his chest, the restless energy in his hands, and pretends to laugh at whatever dumb meme jeno shows him a minute later.

like his whole body isn’t screaming with want. like he isn’t crumbling under the weight of silence.

then four days pass, and jaemin finds himself watching jisung across the dance practice room. he’s supposed to be stretching, supposed to be cooling down after hours of running through choreography, but instead his eyes keep drifting.

watching the way jisung looks at chenle like he’s about to devour him. like there’s nothing holding him back, no hesitation, no shame. like sex isn’t even something he’s afraid of initiating. jisung looks at chenle like he’d take him right there in the middle of the room if the others weren’t around.

and chenle, of course, looks right back at him like he’d let him.

jaemin swallows, trying to ignore the twisting in his chest. he shifts his gaze toward his own boyfriend, and jeno isn’t even looking at him. jeno’s busy tying his shoelaces, hair falling into his eyes, lips pressed together in that calm little way of his.

he knows it’s not jeno’s fault. jeno isn’t like jisung. he’s more reserved, quieter, more content. happy with his life the way it is right now. he doesn’t need to devour anyone.

but still.

jaemin clears his throat and turns away, looking over at chenle instead, who’s wiping sweat off his neck with a towel. “jisung’s been giving you looks all evening,” jaemin says, trying to sound casual, like it’s just an observation.

chenle bites back without missing a beat, and then, for whatever reason, a lie slips out of jaemins mouth before he even knows it’s coming. “so glad i can just communicate with my boyfriend.”

the second it leaves his lips, his stomach sinks.

chenle snorts, shooting him a look, and jaemin wants to bury himself into the floor beneath him. he wants to take it back, swallow it down, anything but leave it hanging in the air between them.

because sure, it’s not entirely untrue, him and jeno do communicate. about schedules, about practice, about what snacks to buy when they’re out. about things that matter in the easy, daily way.

but this? this isn’t about that, this is about sex. and he and jeno haven’t talked about it at all. he hasn’t even been brave enough to try. he can feel his own lie pressing against him like a weight, heavy and suffocating.

“that’s not fun,” chenle mumbles back, and jaemin silently agrees. no. it’s not fun at all. it’s awful, actually. it’s like watching everyone else move forward while he’s stuck exactly where he started, afraid of opening his mouth.

and for the first time, the thought creeps in- maybe jeno just doesn’t want to. maybe that’s why nothing’s happened yet. the idea stings enough that jaemin has to look away again, pretending to retie his shoes so no one sees the way his ears have gone pink.

later that night, jaemin is stretched out on his bed, staring at the ceiling while jeno scrolls through his phone across the room. the lie he told chenle keeps echoing in his head, like an itch under his skin he can’t scratch. so glad i can just communicate with my boyfriend.

he winces just thinking about it.

jeno laughs suddenly at something on his screen, soft and low, and jaemins stomach does a flip. he wants to say something, anything, but his throat feels tight. instead, he rolls onto his side and blurts, “do you ever... think about, like, us?”

jeno glances up, eyebrows raised. “what do you mean?” jaemins mouth goes dry. he could say it. he could say sex, he could say i want you, he could say i’ve been thinking about it for weeks now.

instead he forces a laugh, shaking his head. “nothing, nevermind. i meant, like, the future. us, in the future.” jeno smiles, soft and easy, and sets his phone down. “of course i do.”

it should make jaemin feel better. it should ease the tension curling up inside him, but it doesn’t. it just makes the ache worse, because this isn’t about the future, this is about right now.

he tries again, more careful this time. “you ever... wanna try new things? like, with me?” jeno tilts his head, thinking, and then grins. “sure, like what? we could learn to cook something together. or go hiking, you’ve been wanting to go to that one mountain, right?”

jaemins face burns. that’s not what he meant, not at all. but he forces another laugh, nodding like that’s exactly what he was talking about. “yeah. hiking. sounds good.” jeno nods, satisfied, and picks his phone back up, already half lost in whatever he was looking at before.

and jaemin just lies there, staring at him, wanting to scream. he wants to reach across the room and shake him, wants to say no, i mean i want you to touch me, i want to touch you, i want to know what it’s like to finally have you that close.

but the words don’t come.

so he just turns back onto his back, staring at the ceiling again, swallowing down the frustration that tastes bitter in his throat. jenos laugh drifts across the room again a few minutes later, easy and unbothered, and jaemin feels like he might actually burst.

then, like the universe is playing some cruel joke on him, or maybe just jisung and chenle actually hate him, he hears them. chenles quiet moans drift down the hallway, muffled but unmistakable, followed by the rhythmic hit of jisungs bed against the wall.

“sounds like jisung finally gave in,” jeno scoffs, glancing up at the door where the sounds are slipping through the cracks. his voice is light, amused, like it’s just another background noise to their dorm life.

jaemin feels his stomach knot. it’s not like this is unusual, everyone in the dorm hears them sometimes, and no one’s ever really minded. but right now, tonight, with his head already a mess? it’s unbearable.

jaemin wants to scream. wants to storm down the hallway, rip their door open, and drag them apart because how dare they? how dare they love like this, so openly, so loudly, when he can’t even get a single word past his lips?

instead, he lets out a sharp huff and rolls onto his side, shoving his hands over his ears. “jesus, can they just shut up for once?” jeno chuckles, unfazed. “don’t be dramatic. they’ll tire themselves out eventually.”

jaemin squeezes his eyes shut, heat crawling up the back of his neck. it’s not really anger- it’s jealousy, bitterness, the aching kind that sits heavy in his chest. he knows he’s just being salty. 

but still, every creak of the bedframe down the hall feels like another reminder of everything he doesn’t have, everything he’s too much of a coward to ask for.

jeno is still smiling at his phone, unbothered, and jaemin almost hates him for it. how can he sit there so calm, so casual, when all jaemin can hear is proof of what he’s missing out on?

he curls tighter into himself, biting back the urge to snap something mean, something that would give him away. he swallows hard instead, jaw tight, and tells himself it doesn’t matter. it doesn’t matter.

but with every soft moan that filters in from the hall, it feels like it matters more than anything.

jeno doesn’t even look up from his phone, thumb scrolling lazily, while the noises down the hall grow louder- higher, quicker, unmistakable. jaemin can see the way jisung must be touching chenle, can practically picture it, and it makes his stomach twist until he feels sick.

“god,” jaemin mutters under his breath, but jeno catches it. “what?” jeno asks absently, still not looking up.

“nothing,” jaemin snaps too quickly, too harsh, and instantly hates how sharp it sounds in the quiet room. but the sounds from chenles throat echo down the hall again, thin and breathless, and something in him just snaps.

he sits up abruptly, throwing his pillow across the bed. “how are you just sitting there? doesn’t this drive you insane?” jeno blinks at him, startled, finally looking up from his phone. “huh?”

“them!” jaemin hisses, gesturing wildly toward the door like it’s obvious. “they’re-” his throat tightens, “they’re literally having sex right there, like, ten steps away, and you’re just... you’re just fine with it?”

jeno stares at him, confused, brows furrowed. “jaem, it’s not that deep. they’ve done this before. it’s just noise.”

just noise. jaemin wants to laugh, wants to scream, because to him it’s not just noise. it’s proof, a reminder, a knife twisting in his gut that he doesn’t even know how to ask for what they have.

he lets out a humorless laugh, standing so quickly his chair nearly tips. “yeah. right. just noise.” jeno calls his name, but jaemin is already storming toward the door, the pressure in his chest too much to sit still any longer. 

he doesn’t even know where he’s going, anywhere but here, anywhere but sitting next to jeno pretending it’s not eating him alive. he slams the door behind him and stalks down the hallway, every moan seeping through jisungs walls only pushing him faster.

the night air is cooler than he expects, sharp against his skin, but it’s better than the suffocating heat of the dorm. jaemin leans against the railing just outside, gripping it so tight his knuckles ache. 

he tries to steady his breathing, tries to drown out the phantom sounds still ringing in his ears, but it’s useless. it’s already under his skin. the door creaks open behind him. “jaem?” jenos voice is soft and cautious. “what’s going on with you?”

jaemin squeezes his eyes shut, wishing jeno hadn’t followed him, wishing and praying for once he could just swallow it all down and act normal. but then he feels jenos presence at his side, warm, grounding, and something in him unravels.

“i can’t do this,” he whispers, shaking his head. jeno frowns. “can’t do what?” jaemin laughs, but it comes out broken, his throat tight. 

“pretend i don’t care. pretend it doesn’t kill me every time i hear them, every time i see them. jisung looks at chenle like he wants to ruin him and... and i don’t even know if you’ve ever thought about me like that.” his voice cracks on the last words, quiet, almost ashamed.

jenos lips part like he wants to say something, but jaemin doesn’t stop.

“i want it too,” jaemin admits, eyes burning. “i want you. i want to stop being scared all the time, to just... ask for it, but i don’t know how. and when i hear them, or see them, it just-” he cuts himself off with a shaky breath, shoulders curling inward. 

“it just reminds me that i don’t know how to give you what i want to give you, and i’m terrified that means you’ll never want it from me.”

the silence that follows is unbearable. jaemin stares down at his hands gripping the railing, too scared to look at jenos face, convinced he’ll find nothing but confusion or pity staring back.

but then he feels jenos hand, gentle against his wrist, sliding down to lace their fingers together. “jaem,” jeno murmurs, voice steady, “you don’t ever have to feel that way with me.”

jaemin looks up at him, lips parting, but nothing more comes out. he frowns at jenos words, unsure how to take them, the doubt still clawing up his chest. “i’m sorry, i know it’s kind of pathetic,” he finally blurts, forcing out a small laugh before looking away, cheeks burning.

jeno doesn’t let him. he shakes his head firmly, tugging gently at jaemins hand until their eyes meet again. “it’s not pathetic, baby,” he says, voice low and steady, each word deliberate, like he wants them carved into jaemins skin. 

“we’re a couple. it’s normal to feel this way, to want each other. you don’t have to be ashamed of that.” jaemin swallows hard, blinking too fast. his instinct is to shrink back, to hide, but jeno squeezes his hand tighter, grounding him.

“i do want you,” jeno continues, softer now, his thumb brushing circles against jaemins knuckles. “i’ve wanted you for a long time. but i don’t want it to just be... something we do because we think we should, or something messy that everyone overhears in the dorm.” his lips twitch like he’s trying not to smile, but his gaze stays steady, serious. 

“i want it to be ours. i want it to mean more.” jaemins breath stutters. “you do?” he whispers, the words barely audible, disbelief etched in every line of his face.

jeno nods without hesitation. “of course i do, i’ve just been waiting. waiting for you to be ready, for you to want it too. i didn’t want to push you, jaem. i never want to push you.”

the tension that’s been choking jaemin for weeks loosens, if only a little. his shoulders sag as he exhales shakily, heart aching at the sincerity in jeno’s voice.

jeno tilts his head, searching his face, and adds even quieter, “we don’t need to be like them. you don’t need to prove anything, princess. i already love you, i already want you. that’s never been in question.”

jaemins throat works around a lump he can’t seem to swallow. he looks down at their hands, jenos thumb still drawing lazy circles into his skin, grounding him, steadying him. he doesn’t feel steady, though. he feels like he’s coming apart- like if he says the wrong thing, everything will shatter.

“jeno...” his voice cracks, and he bites down on his lip, embarrassed, but he forces himself to keep going. “i- i do want it. with you. not because i think we should, or because chenle and jisung are so-” his words falter, bitter, before he shakes his head. “i just, i want you. i’ve been so scared to say it.”

jenos eyes soften instantly, like they always do when jaemin gets vulnerable, like the whole world could fall apart and he’d still be steady. “thank you for saying it,” he whispers, leaning closer, foreheads nearly touching now. 

jaemin exhales shakily, shoulders trembling as he admits the thing that’s been clawing at his chest for days. “i was scared you didn’t want me. that maybe i was... too much, or not enough, i don’t even know.” his voice breaks again, and he laughs through it, watery and fragile.

jeno doesn’t let him keep spiraling. he cups jaemins jaw in his free hand, tilting his head gently so he has no choice but to meet his eyes. “hey. listen to me,” he says firmly but tenderly, the kind of tone that makes jaemins chest ache. “you are more than enough, you’re everything. i never want you to doubt that.”

jaemin swallows hard, his lips parting, and before he can think twice he whispers, “then... can we? not here, not now, but, like, soon? when it’s just us?” the words tumble out awkward and shy, but it’s the first time he’s ever asked, the first time he’s put voice to the wanting that’s been eating him alive.

jeno smiles then, soft but full of something deeper, something that makes jaemin’s stomach flip. he nods, pressing a fleeting kiss to his forehead. “of course, whenever you’re ready. just us.”

and for the first time in weeks, maybe months, jaemin feels the knot in his chest finally loosen.

the dorm feels too alive most nights, too many footsteps, too much laughter, too many doors creaking open and closed, but tonight it’s still. everyone’s gone out, and for once, jaemin and jeno are left completely alone.

jeno had suggested a movie. popcorn in a bowl, a blanket across their laps, the kind of simple night that always feels safe. but jaemin hasn’t really been paying attention to the screen. 

he’s been leaning into jeno, his head resting on his shoulder, heartbeat loud in his ears because he knows. knows tonight could be it, knows he doesn’t want to run anymore.

jeno notices too. the way jaemins fingers keep twitching against his thigh, the way he’s far too quiet, his breaths uneven. “you okay?” jeno whispers, his voice soft in the dim glow of the tv.

jaemin turns his head, cheek brushing against jeno’s shoulder, and then, before he can lose his courage, he says it: “jeno... can we?” his voice is barely there, shaky but deliberate. “tonight, i want to.”

jeno stills, blinking at him, like he wants to be absolutely sure he’s heard right. “are you sure?” he asks gently, hand moving to cup jaemins knee. “you don’t have to rush just because-”

“i’m sure.” jaemin interrupts, firm this time, though his cheeks flush hot. “i’ve never been more sure.” and that’s all jeno needs. his hand slides up, fingers threading through jaemins, and he presses a kiss to the top of his head. “okay,” he whispers. “then let’s go slow.”

they shift from the couch to jaemins bed, both of them nervous, both of them laughing quietly to hide it, but once they’re lying there, face to face, knees bumping under the blanket, something steadier settles between them.

with nothing more than a shaky breath and a small smile, jeno kisses him first, slow and unhurried, like they have all the time in the world. jaemin melts into it, a shaky sigh leaving him as he presses closer, desperate but still clinging to patience.

the first moments are tentative. jaemins hands shake as they trace over jenos chest, and jeno notices, smiling softly, letting his fingers curl around jaemins trembling ones. “we don’t have to rush.” he whispers, voice low and steady, pressing a lingering kiss to jaemins temple. 

jaemin swallows hard, heart hammering. he nods, but the nod is shaky, like he can’t quite believe he’s finally here, finally letting himself want something this badly. he leans forward, brushing their lips together again, slower this time, tasting the warmth of jeno, letting the kiss ground him as nervous trembles ripple through his body.

jeno murmurs encouragements against his mouth, his hands sliding over jaemins sides, gentle but firm. “you’re so perfect.”

clothes come off gradually, each layer falling away with soft laughter and quiet gasps. jaemin shivers at the cold air against his bare skin, the unfamiliar vulnerability making his stomach twist, but jenos hands and lips chase the nerves away, warm and grounding.

“i’ve wanted this for so long,” jaemin whispers, voice shaking. “i didn’t think i could ever.. ask.” jeno shakes his head, brushing strands of hair from his forehead. “you don’t have to ask anymore, baby.”

jaemin trembles, pressing closer, letting jeno guide him gently, slowly, making sure each movement is steady, careful. there’s heat, shyness, soft gasps, and whispered encouragements, but it’s perfect because it’s theirs.

when jeno finally moves over him, spreading jaemins legs and pressing their bodies together fully, jaemin can’t help the small cry that escapes, soft and shaky, tears threatening at the edges of his eyes from the intensity of it all. the sensation is overwhelming- new, intense, and consuming in a way he’s never felt before.

jeno is cautious, deliberate, like he’s afraid of breaking him. every movement is slow, measured, fingers stretching him carefully before every push, every angle, every slide. he watches jaemins face constantly, reading every flinch, every gasp, every tiny tremor, adjusting without a word, murmuring soft “you okay?”s and “so good”s in between.

and then, when he finally pushes fully inside, jaemins back arches and his head falls back, eyes rolling, lips parting in a quiet gasp. it’s like the tension he’s been holding in his chest, the nerves, the fear, the longing, all dissolves into this one, perfect, overwhelming moment.

jeno doesn’t rush. he keeps his pace measured, steady, but he fucks jaemin. every movement is precise but full of warmth, of care. it’s different from anything jaemin has imagined, nothing like the exaggerated, careless stories chenle has told. 

this is intimate, entirely theirs, and exactly what jaemin has been needing- tender, consuming, grounding all at once.

their hands roam freely, over arms, back, chest, thighs, anchoring each other in the moment. fingers entwine, brushing, gripping, memorizing every curve, every tremble, every shiver. 

jaemins hips shift instinctively, responding to jenos slow thrusts, rolling, pressing, matching the rhythm without even thinking, learning every subtle flick, every push, every angle of jenos movements.

soft gasps and broken whispers fill the space between them. “so good... so good, princess....” jeno murmurs, lips brushing jaemins temple, forehead resting against his. jaemin cries out, soft and shaky, every sound betraying the mix of pleasure, relief, and release he’s finally allowed himself to feel.

jeno leans closer, every careful movement, every slight adjustment meant to bring jaemin higher, not just for the act itself but for the trust, the connection, the surrender between them. jaemins nails dig into jenos back, his body arching instinctively, following every push, responding to every whisper, every touch, letting himself fall completely into it.

and in that slow, perfect rhythm, every small gasp, every trembling moan, every brush of skin against skin becomes a language of its own a quiet, desperate, tender conversation they’ve been needing to have for weeks.

“you’re doing so well,” jeno murmurs, voice husky. “so good for me... so good for us.”

jaemin shudders violently at the words, biting his lip to stifle a moan, but jeno tilts his head, kissing him through it, letting him cry out softly. every gasp, every tremble, every hesitant push forward is met with soft words, lingering touches, and reassurance, until jaemin finally lets himself go completely.

and jeno holds him through it all, never rushing, never letting go.