Chapter 1: The Official Crossman Academy Rate Your Professor Magic Book
Notes:
i was contemplating whether or not i should post this. i was thinking that i should just post this when the fic Crossman Academy is done, but it'll take a while before we get to the point where the academy is actually built
sooooooooo.... i decided to just post it cuz why the hell not. i want to show u guys my vision on Crossman Academy, a glimpse of the future let's say
anyways, hope u guys like it HAHAHHA i really had fun on it
Chapter Text
THE OFFICIAL CROSSMAN ACADEMY RATE YOUR PROFESSOR MAGIC BOOK
(CARYP)
Rate Your Professor
Worried about terror profs? Worried about profs who have shitty grade systems? Worry no further! Simply search for a name in the table of contents and see reviews from your fellow students!
Chapter 2: Eruhaben
Chapter Text
ERUHABEN
Principal
Professor in the History Department of Crossman Academy
OVERALL RATING: 4/5
Difficulty: 5/5
Pedagogy: 5/5
Helpfulness: 2.5/5
General Consensus: You’re in good hands! Just be prepared to put in the work due to the difficulty
Rating: 5/5
At first, he's a bit scary cuz… you know, the whole dragon stuff. But after you get past the initial intimidation, you kind of realize he's just an endearing old man!
If you really want to learn a lot, 100% recommend him!
Rating: 5/5
DRAGONS ARE SO COOL! WTF! If you haven't taken his class yet, GO TAKE IT! I'm serious!
He brings the class on trips! I almost lost my shit when he teleported us floating on top of the Gorge of Death
It was fucking awesome
You’ll see some crazy shit if you take his class, trust me. DO IT!
Rating: 1/5
Guys, don’t fall for what others say. It's fun at first… until you get to that monstrous final he always gives at the end of his courses
LIKE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN I NEEDED TO KNOW WHO THE ANCIENT WHITE STAR WAS?
WASNT THERE JUST ONE!? APPARENTLY THERE’S TWO!?
Rating: 3/5
PREPARE SUNGLASSES!!!
He's so gorgeous that it's blinding. I'm not joking, like he's literally emitting light. I swear I'm not making this up
Rating: 4/5
I know it might be stupid to say this about a dragon, but damn, is prof Haben okay? Why does he always look like he's in a perpetual state of disbelief
Since the start of classes, I've kept a tally of the times he's said ‘aigoo’
…It's past the hundreds now
Rating: 4/5
Have you guys ever seen the inside of a volcano?? Because I HAVE!
Rating: 3/5
Imagine my shock when I found out he was thousands years old
THAT MAN DOESN'T LOOK A DAY OLDER THAN 30!!
Rating 5/5
Is he married?
Asking for a friend.
Admin: Not the place to ask… you have better chances in the student forum
Rating: 4/5
Cool guy, but he tends to just say something and never expound. One time, while talking about ancient empires, he said
“I remember when that empire fell. Stupid, really. Aigoo… and over a damn enchanted goat. Tsk.”
EXCUSE ME WHAT!? SINCE WHEN DID GOATS TOPPLE EMPIRES?
Rating: 4/5
Great professor, but sometimes, I think he needs to realize that not all of his students have the same lifespan as dragons
Cuz tell me why he told us we could just experience the next ice age ourselves!???
Rating: 4/5
I need his hair care routine.
Rating: 5/5
Pure grandpa vibes. Called everyone kid
Rating 4/5
Should they even be called forbidden regions at this point???
I swear I've visited all of them already not once but twice each
Dragons are too op…
Rating: 5/5
Love the guy. Once gave a lecture on major conflicts and just gave us a list of the dumbest things that caused a war.
Didn’t think anyone could top the enchanted goat thing, but damn, tell me why someone in history was playing with a flaming frisbee and accidentally hit a diplomat
We didn’t even take notes, just listened in stunned silence
10/10 would go to war over an intense game of fire frisbee again
Edit: just in case Prof Haben is reading this, I DIDN’T MEAN IT! I PROMISE! I WOULD NEVER TOUCH A FLAMING FRISBEE TO HIT A DIPLOMAT!
ArticuloStrawberry on Chapter 2 Mon 30 Jun 2025 05:37PM UTC
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ThatOneGlassesNerd on Chapter 2 Fri 04 Jul 2025 08:51AM UTC
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