Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Your TegaSword-sama Omurice, sir,” Ryuugi was saying as Hoeru came into the cafe.

“Sweet, thanks!” replied the customer, who was probably around Ryuugi’s age.

Ryuugi gave a dignified nod and went back behind the counter, not noticing that the customer was bringing out a bottle of mayo. Since he was spinning it, the movement caught Hoeru’s eye, and he noticed a big, flashy ring on his finger—not unlike those of the Gozyugers.

“Do we have a new member or something?” he asked Rikuo, plucking a flower to suck as he sat down next to the idol, who was accepting a tea from Ryuugi while at the counter. “Cause I don’t wanna deal with another ‘Godness’.”

“The high-class and luxurious detective has already proven he is not a Sentai Ring Holder, nor Gozyuger,” Sumino declared as she spun to face the other two from the other end of the counter.

“He’s a hip, cool thing called a Kamen Hider! Sumi-pyo tried to win a Number One Battle with him!” Kinjiro added, in the middle of peeling an egg. “His belt has...what was it called... swag!”

“You guys are way crazy, even for a Sentai,” the customer said cheerfully around a mouthful of omurice, which Hoeru only knew because Ryuugi had mentioned it, for it was now covered in mayonnaise. “But it’s cool you have rings! Just like me and Haruto!”

Out of the corner of his eye, Hoeru could see Ryuugi clench his fists while taking deep breaths and staring at the ceiling.

“Hello~ Godness Kumade Mashiro is here~”

“Order something or leave, please,” Ryuugi said brusquely, pushing his glasses up before grabbing a cup to wash or put away or whatever he was doing.

“Oh, whatever this customer had is fine.” He waved his hand vaguely over the ringed man’s plate, sitting at the next table over.

The cup in Ryuugi’s hands shattered, but he managed a smile through clenched teeth and bowed.

“I’ll take another one, too, please! Chimera is hungry after that battle! Do you guys do that every time?”

“You don’t even have the proper ring, how did you get pulled in?” Rikuo asked, frowning.

“Uh, tbh, I’ve given up questioning it, y’know?”

(“TBH?” Kinjiro asked Sumino.

“To be honest,” Sumino explained.

“Ah! I like that.”)

Hoeru shrugged. “Kamen Hider, was it?”

“Kamen Rider, but yeah! We fought Phantoms, but our...well, he’s our senpai but he’s younger than us—he fought...shoot. Some Z thing. And after us were those fruit samurai guys. Def met some Sentais, and those Metal guys too!”

“Def?” Kinjiro asked, looking delighted that he was learning more slang.

“You know, definitely. The Kyoryugers!”

“Ah, yes,” everyone nodded, satisfied.

“Your omurices,” Ryuugi said, placing one in front of the Kamen Rider and one in front of Mashiro.

“Nice! Fast! Thanks!”

“Slow, by my standards,” Mashiro murmured. (Although only Rikuo heard.)

“Enjoy.” Ryuugi bowed and made to leave.

“Are you about to put honey on omurice?” Sumino’s voice rang out, full of disgust.

“Honey?” asked the customer, his mayo bottle from earlier already open but not yet squeezed.

“Yes, honey, for it is the most exquisite food of this Earth, fit for the Gods,” Mashiro declared. “Here, see?” He reached over and poured some on the customer’s omurice.

“I don’t think that Kouta thinks that, but you do you, man. But I prefer mayo. That’s the good shit.” He squeezed a good amount onto Mashiro’s omurice.

“Good sirs, please do not do that to each other’s food~” Ryuugi sang out, although Hoeru could hear—even without Rikuo’s super hearing—the annoyance in his(?) Yellow’s voice. And he didn’t need Sumino’s ability to hear thoughts to know this was “disrespect against TegaSword-sama” either.

“No, honey is most certainly the superior choice,” Mashiro insisted, ignoring Ryuugi to add more honey to the customer’s plate before pouring some over his own omurice, not bothering to scrape off the mayonnaise.

“Nah, nah, it’s mayo,” the customer said, squeezing more mayonnaise over where Mashiro was pouring honey and getting it on Mashiro’s hand before squeezing an ungodly amount over his own omurice, also not bothering to remove the honey.

“My grandson and his friends enjoy making ‘concoctions’ out of all the condiments at a family restaurant, is that what this is?” Kinjiro asked, frown evident in his voice, the question presumably directed mostly at Sumino.

“We’d sometimes have to do videos where we’d have to eat things like this,” Rikuo provided, leaning forward to watch the two increasingly get more honey and mayonnaise on each other in their attempts to cover the other’s plate. “International fans especially loved those challenges.”

“Oh, challenges? Like the cinnamon one?” Kinjiro asked. “My grandson said that one was popular before his—I mean our—time.”

“Yes, but not as dangerous,” Rikuo replied dryly. “Putting idols in the hospital is not a good look for the agencies.”

“I don’t know what this is, other than NOT high-class and luxurious,” Sumino said, standing up to leave. “Come on, Kin-jii, this isn’t beneficial to being a party people.”

“Huh? Oh! Okay!” The two left.

“Can’t be that bad,” Hoeru said absentmindedly, remembering times he had eaten (drank?) free condiments over having an actual meal.

“Good sirs! While I recognize that it is your food and you are free to...season it however you like, PLEASE stop disrespecting Tega—each other’s food and eat what is in front of you!” Ryuugi’s voice nearly rose into a shriek as he slammed his hands into the counter, the whole thing shaking but not breaking, somehow.

Hoeru, who had been plucking a flower before turning to watch Sumino and Kijino leave, turned to find piles of honey and mayo on the plates, omurice no longer visible, with multiple bottles of both crowding the plates.

“Sorry, sorry!” The mayo customer said, sitting back down and picking up his spoon. “Itadakimasu!”

“Itadakimasu,” Mashiro echoed, digging in as well, much to the clearly disgusted and yet definitely fascinated Rikuo.

Ryuugi took a deep breath and turned to more fully to Hoeru and Rikuo. “Did you require anything?”

“I’ll take another tea,” Rikuo answered, flashing a dazzling idol smile, probably in hopes of calming Ryuugi down.

“Nah,” Hoeru replied, only to receive another slam on the counter. Right, Ryuugi wasn’t in a good mood. “Uh,”

“THERE you are,” announced a man who had come into the cafe, a giant ring on his finger as well, a belt shaped like a hand around his waist.

“Babe!”

“Don’t ‘babe’ me, I was looking everywhere for you, since you apparently left Ian while on your dig to come here!”

“I got hungry!”

The new man looked at the table and visibly gagged, marching over and grabbing the mayo man by the ear.

“Nitou Kousuke, I am telling Shunpei what you did,” the man scolded, throwing some money on a clear table.

“Haruto! Come on!” mayo man—Nitou—protested, trying to get out of Haruto’s grip.

“These are the consequences, Mayo!”

They left, Nitou’s protests going unnoticed by Haruto.

“Well, that certainly happened,” Rikuo remarked in the now silent cafe.

“Thank you for the meal. Next time, don’t put mayo on it,” Mashiro advised, wiping his mouth delicately. Hoeru noticed he had eaten the entire thing. “It’s not fitting for a god to have customers mess with other’s food.”

Hoeru and Rikuo had to dive out of the way from Ryuugi on the war path.

Chapter Text

They were on a date, something that still felt novel and new, despite Yuma being all moved in by now. It was at a coffee shop, of course, although they had more planned for later — there was a movie that looked interesting, and the book shop.

But for right now, it was the cafe. Shu with his coffee and an egg sandwich, while Yuma had a matcha latte and a Danish. They were outside, as the weather was currently cooperating for a date, and in pretty much the center of the patio.

A new set of people, three men in their 30s or so, sat down behind Ishido. Yuma vaguely registered that two of them had belts and rings, mostly noticing that those two were the ones arguing good-naturedly.

“What books were you going to look for, Yuma-kun?” Shu asked.

“Oh, there was this book on kai—” Yuma stopped, for the man that happened to be facing Yuma was pouring mayonnaise into his coffee.

“Yuma-kun?”

Yuma tried to school his expression, knowing Shu could not see what he was currently witnessing. “Kaiju! A book about the life cycle of kaiju on Planet Juran, written by Haruno Musashi!”

Clearly, he was failing to not look panicked, for Shu frowned, clearly about to turn around when something behind Yuma caught his eye.

Instantly knowing by Shu’s expression that someone was “defiling coffee”, Yuma mentally took a deep breath before turning around.

Honey. The guy in a...boxer’s? outfit was pouring honey into his coffee.

Yuma tugged at Shu’s sleeve, figuring they had better leave, and fast.

“Hey, it’s that honey guy!” the mayo man said as they were leaving, Yuma thankfully getting Shu out before whatever the heck was going to go down actually went down.