Chapter 1: The Beginning of Time
Chapter Text
Monomoko didn’t want to do this anymore. It had given a hint in the last trial. It ruled out Tamba. It wasn’t allowed to do that, for the purpose of the game. Because the blackened deserved a fair trial, because they were testing…what?
The point of the game seemed beyond it in the first place, but now with the biggest rule broken, the pointlessness of the game overwhelmed it.
The students had gone quiet.
They were staring at it from their podiums. Yanagi tentatively began to approach it.
“Monomoko? Are you alright?”
It stared. Yanagi seemed concerned. Genuinely concerned. The girl he was in love with was dead and he was concerned for it.
A horrid feeling began to lap at its throat. It felt like acid. It couldn’t speak. It had done this.
If it could just go back -
—
Hitomi woke up slowly, which was unusual for her. Her head pulsed as she sat up.
“Mmh, my head,” she muttered. Her words echoed, just a little. The room she was in was pitch black. To her right, something moved. A shoe scuffed the floor.
“Who’s there?”
The light came on. Immediately, she squeezed her eyes shut. Her head felt heavier, the pain nearer.
“Hitomi?”
Hitomi froze. Ojima was staring at her, wide eyed, like she was a ghost. He took a step forward and she scrambled away. The killing game.
Her head, the sleep, the rice that went everywhere in the kitchen. Sticky blood in Isono’s orange hair.
Her fingernail snapping on the podium during the trial, desperate for Yanagi to do something. She didn’t know what at that point. Condemn her to death? Save her, and have her live with what she did?
Her own signature, over and over again. Sasaki Hitomi. How could she have even lived after that? She wouldn’t even be Sasaki Hitomi after that. There’s no way to shed her uniform and be done with that. Be done with being a murderer.
She remembered the panic, blinding panic, locking up her muscles as the pike inched closer. When it touched her stomach. Everything blurry with her tears, her panic, her hand that wouldn’t move fast enough.
She remembered -
“Hitomi,” Hiroaki whispered, staring at her.
“Excuse me?”
What kind of hell is she in where Hiroaki feels the need to first name her?
“Nagawa, is this real?” Ojima said quietly.
“Let's find out. RABBIT!”
Hitomi felt far too out of it. She hadn’t even noticed other people talking. Tsuno was talking to…
Isono.
“Is this some kind of punishment?” she muttered to herself. Maybe her punishment hadn’t ended. Maybe she wasn’t dead, and they gave her a hallucinogen or something.
She had felt Isono’s blood. It had been warm, sticky, too sticky. She had needed it off her body immediately. It felt like it was crusted onto her, in all the crevices she couldn’t reach.
Isono was dead. But she was there, being held by Tsuno and Wada.
“Rabbit!”
“It’s not gonna answer, Nagawa,” Watari snapped. She had her eyes on Okazaki as she said it.
“Hold on,” Hitomi got up slowly, slapping away Ojima’s hand when he offered it. “I feel like I’m missing something here. What happened? Everyone, tell me what you last remember.”
To her surprise, Hiroaki actually smiled.
“Second chance at life and you get right back to bossing people around. How very you Hitomi.”
“Okay, stop that right there. I barely know you, stop calling me that. Also, what do you mean?”
“Well, if I had to guess, nearly everyone here will remember what they last remembered before dying. Am I right?”
The students all agreed.
“Then there you go. We’ve gone back in time, or I’ve gone insane. One of the two.”
“Of all people to go insane, it would be you,” Kamimura muttered.
“Says you! You’re like a walking talking representation of mental illness!"
Hitomi sighed.
“Everyone!” she yelled.
“Don’t talk to him like that!” Hasegawa said, his cheeks flushed.
“OH I am NOT taking anything from you right now you psycho!”
“EVERYONE! Please listen! Right. Thank you for your attention. Can we please go over what we know right now?”
“We’re back at the start of the game?” Tsuno suggested.
“We don’t necessarily know if we’re still in the game though,” Wada said. “Monomoko hasn’t said anything.”
“Monomoko?” Hitomi asked.
“The rabbit’s name.”
“Ah.”
An oddly cute name for such a being.
“Okay. That’s a good point Wada. If the rabbit isn’t here to tell us, there’s no way to know if we are in the game or not.”
“Cool. Gonna go break a wall then,” Hayashi said. Yanagi and Tamba started protesting, following her like a set of terrified ducklings. Weird. Tamba was usually scared of everything that moved, but not for Hayashi. Yanagi was never this openly scared, always becoming angry first.
A lot of things about the group didn’t make sense. Watari wasn’t clinging to Okazaki, for starters. Watari wasn’t doing anything, actually. Hitomi distinctly remembered her being full of energy. But she was just sitting on the floor, curled up. Hama wouldn’t take his eyes off her.
Kamimura was trembling, and Hasegawa was shielding him from the rest of the group. Hasegawa himself seemed…different. She couldn’t put her finger on it.
Tsuno herself was also trembling, being half supported by Isono and half supported by Hiroaki. He wasn’t looking her in the eye.
“Ojima,” Hitomi began. “Can you please tell me what happened after I…left? I don’t understand the way the group is operating right now.”
“It will have to be somewhere private,” Ojima said slowly. “If I start talking about it in the open people are going to fight. A lot.”
She scanned the room. She didn’t like the idea of the group splitting off, but if it was going to happen anyway, she at least could use the information.
There was a bang in the distance -
Hitomi woke up slowly, which was unusual for her.
–
“Mai, if you send us back to when my head hurts most ONE more time I’m gonna lose it,” Kazutoshi said.
She crossed her arms.
“What do you want me to do, just give up?”
Kazutoshi sat down slowly. Ken was there at his back, hovering very close. Ordinarily, he’d say something about it. But Okazaki was in the room. Okazaki’s mask concealed where she was looking. He didn’t want her to look at him.
“We’re up against literal time travel, Mai, what do you think busting down a wall is gonna do?”
She groaned.
“I hate not knowing what’s happening,” Tamba whined.
“Wow, your whole life must suck then,” he muttered.
“I can hear you!”
“So,” Sasaki interrupted. “We know that breaking the school rules sends us back to when we first wake up. Or just sends us unconscious and back to this room…I’m not sure which yet.”
“It is the former,” Monomoko said.
“Fuck!” Hasegawa flinched.
“Jesus!”
“What took you so long?” Sasaki demanded. Kazutoshi hadn’t missed her bossing him around, but he hadn’t realised how much he had actually missed Sasaki’s order. Commanding it out of everyone, no matter how much stronger than her they were. The audacity to boss Mai the first time was enough to impress him. But now, a time controlling creature? Damn Sasaki.
“I was giving you time to get adjusted. I didn’t think my presence would be welcome while you were figuring this out.”
“This being whatever you’ve done with time,” she responded.
“Yes.”
“Rabbit,” Watari spat. “What’s happening? Why are we going through this again? Was the first time not enough?”
“Allow me to explain. I am trying to help you.”
“Bullshit!” Hama yelled.
“I am. You can choose to believe me or not. I do not want to see any of you die. This is why I have brought you back to now. I have not yet allowed time to begin moving again. I am figuring out how to get you out of here. But I need your cooperation.”
“How?” Chiba asked.
“I am not running this experiment alone. I am not in a position to stop it currently, though I will be working on that. In the meantime, everything needs to play out like normal.”
“We’re not killing anyone!” Isono said, clinging tighter to Tsuno.
“I am aware. That is not what I’m asking of you.”
“Then what are you asking of us?” Ojima asked. “Be specific.”
“I am asking you to play through the first motive of the killing game. The first chapter, as my colleagues have called it.”
“Chapter?” Tamba cried. “Thats so!-”
“Shut up,” Kazutoshi said. He turned to the rabbit. “How exactly are we gonna do that when the motive is something like sleep? Eventually someone is gonna snap again.” He purposefully didn’t look in Sasaki’s direction. He didn’t need her yelling at him right now.
“I will periodically pause time to allow you to sleep. Understand that I cannot do this for long.”
“How long are we talking?” Hayashi asked.
“I am currently struggling to maintain this pause. It has been three hours.”
“Okay, so we’ll be tired, but it won’t be unmanageable,” Hayashi said.
“Yes. My colleagues cannot know about my time abilities. This means that you must not reveal any information about your previous killing game experiences.”
“Won’t that be…a little difficult?” Hasegawa asked. His voice was much louder than Kazutoshi remembered.
“Yes. But it must be done. If my colleagues find out about my time abilities, I will be nullified, and you will remain trapped.”
“Okay,” Sasaki began, arms stiff at her sides. “But if we do make a mistake, then what?”
“Then I will have to pause time while we discuss how to fix it. Understand that this will take away from my ability to allow motive reprieve.”
“Miss Monomoko, if I may ask?” Yanagi began. He did not continue until the rabbit nodded. “Why are you doing this?”
“Disclosing such information would be unwise. I am unable to keep the pause for much longer. Prepare yourselves.”
-
Kazutoshi opened his eyes. The room was pitch black.
“Ugh, my head,” Sasaki groaned.
His own head pounded. He tried to keep his eyes open. The lights were about to come on, so he should pull his hoodie up. But then, wouldn’t that be suspicious?
Someone was at his back. Someone who smelled like floral laundry detergent. Hasegawa.
Ken was clinging to him, hand shaking as he gripped Kazutoshi’s black hoodie. Fuck. Fuck. Shit. He was totally gonna give them away.
“What’re you do-”
“Ah! Sorry!” Ken said. His hand remained on the hoodie. “I just don’t like the dark very much.”
–
Wada could barely keep up with what was happening. Another chance. He had another chance to keep people safe. To do something. Anything.
To make sure people wouldn’t lose their lives because of him.
The rabbit kept talking about a motive. He heard something about sleep. He heard something about dorms. Sasaki had sent them to explore again. To report back, like last time.
Mai and Nagawa seemed less resistant to her leadership this time. They argued less. He wondered if that seemed suspicious to Monomoko's mysterious colleagues.
Tsuno seemed withdrawn, and Isono was clearly lost. She had no idea what happened to them after she died. Maybe it was better that way, that they had to keep it quiet.
The gym came up again. Chiba stared up at the vent with tears in her eyes. Harada had retreated to the dorms, and came out again without Sawa. Chiba clung to Hamas' leg. Hama, at the very least, seemed too out of it to give them away.
“Harada,” Okazaki called. Wada tried not to jump. “Where’s Sawa?”
Tsuno finally seemed to stand up on her own, ready to tell off Okazaki. Wada couldn’t help how his breathing began to pick up. The way Okazaki had spoken about her during the trial…if they were trapped together again, Okazaki wanted to make her suffer. She enjoyed making her suffer.
“S-Sawa’s a tiger, Okazaki. She can’t be out,” he said. He surprised himself as he said it. Both the fact that he could get the words out, and that he had the audacity to try and put Okazaki’s attention on him.
He tried to comfort himself with the fact that he didn’t matter to her, Tsuno did. Everything she did to him was to get to Tsuno. Really, it wasn’t personal. Not to him, anyway. So it shouldn’t matter.
“I suppose she could take anyone out quite easily. Especially someone small,” Okazaki said.
Wada met Watari’s eyes. Her guilty expression. He hated that he couldn’t say anything. That he couldn’t tell her that Okazaki wasn’t her responsibility.
Chiba whimpered, sobbing into Hamas leg.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Hama seemed to whisper, over and over again.
Harada was frozen. This was getting too suspicious.
“Everyone calm down!” he yelled in Sasaki’s voice.
It had an extraordinary effect. Everyone turned to stare at him.
“Right. Sorry. Um, I know this is stressful but I think we should probably try to…keep as calm as we can, right? If we want to um…escape…I mean.”
“How would we do that?” Mai asked.
“Well,” Nakamigawa began, “we just need to get someone up into that vent, right? Someone petite who can fit, like Kamimura over there.”
“Have you got a problem with me or something?”
It was almost like reading lines. Almost.
–
Kazutoshi lingered in the doorway. Ken was sitting in the dining room, just like last time. He seemed anxious, tapping his fingers on the table. He was mouthing something.
“Well well well,” he said. Ken chuckled, anticipating his next line.
“You’re not the only one who couldn’t get any sleep,” Ken said.
“Clearly.”
“You should probably be a little more freaked out,” Ken suggested with a self conscious smile.
Kazutoshi snorted.
“What, because of you?”
Ken raised his eyebrows a little.
“We’re in a killing game,” he said softly.
“You’re different,” he shot back. “You’re….you’re fine.”
“You don’t know that,” Ken said. “You don’t know me at all.”
Kazutoshi frowned. Even if it was just to avoid suspicion, he couldn’t help but be offended.
“Fine then. Tell me about you.”
Chapter 2: Confession Game
Summary:
The motive is announced and the confession game begins. The group dynamics are different than what Isono remembers.
Chapter Text
Ken hadn’t expected the motive to be so immediate. He thought he had more time with a relatively healthy Kazutoshi. The motives were never good for him.
Kazutoshi had been drawing something, and jerked when Monomoko announced that they needed to come to the auditorium.
“Great,” he muttered, pushing his bangs back into place. Hasegawa watched as he smoothed out his hair, and wondered how frequently he needed to dye it to keep it such a vibrant blue.
As they walked there, Ken crossed his fingers the entire time. He hoped the motive wouldn’t be something that would destroy his friend's health. Not the cold. Not the adrenaline. Not a lack of sleep.
He’d rather take the pitch blackness, the memories of luminol, sweat, and a metallic stench that made him shake.
He wanted to believe that Monomoko was telling the truth. He wasn’t sure he could do this again.
His heart sank when it announced the motive.
Adrenaline. Again.
–
Takeshi wasn’t sure he was feeling much of anything when he woke up. Monomoko was calling them to the auditorium for their first game. The confession game.
Hitomi had taken note that Monomoko had specifically said the game's intent differently this time. It was not to wake them up. With the adrenaline, they didn’t need that anyway. This time, it was to bring them closer as a student body.
Or, for the purpose of the killing game, to force them closer to each other than they would like to be. To provoke frustration. Infighting.
She warned them all to be kind to each other, which started a fight between her and Nagawa. Like usual.
“OJIMA!” Watari yelled, practically throwing her whole body weight against the door. He blinked. Right. He had to get up, there was no way out of the game.
“Jesus Watari, chill out will you?” Nagawa said. “You’re gonna break the door at this point.”
Takeshi opened the door. Nagawa grabbed his hand and immediately began to drag him to the auditorium, with Watari two steps behind.
“C’mon, I wanna be the first one there.”
Watari muffled a laugh behind them. Takeshi raised an eyebrow and she looked away, almost cartoonishly suspicious.
Nagawa pushed both doors open dramatically. They squealed as they opened, seemingly resisting his push. Takeshi sometimes wondered at the school's makeup. Some of it astonishingly modern, as if all the money in the world had gone into it. And then, some of it was weirdly ugly and old.
Nagawa opened his mouth to yell. Takeshi instinctually leaned away. Getting an earful of him first thing in the morning is the last thing anyone wants.
“FIRS-”
“First!” Kazutoshi yelled.
“Did you get up early just to do that?” Takeshi asked. He looked around for Hasegawa. He couldn’t be the only mediator with those two.
“Who says I slept?” He said it like it was a great comeback, but the bags under his eyes said something else. His bangs were out of place in a way he knew was driving Nagawa crazy. He wondered if Kazutoshi knew that and kept his hair messy on purpose. He’d definitely be petty enough.
Hasegawa came back to the auditorium with coffee in hand, and some kind of tea for Kazutoshi. Seeing Kazutoshi take the mug, sitting happily in Hasegawa’s jacket, Takeshi remembered what Hasegawa had said during his trial.
He only cared about Kazutoshi’s forgiveness. Hasegawa burned his tongue on the coffee and Kazutoshi laughed. They’d pulled their desks together. If Kazutoshi knew the truth about what Hasegawa had become, would he forgive him? Could he? He and Mai were close, after all.
Watari was also seated, staring down at her buzzer. Maybe she was thinking about the same thing. About forgiveness.
Okazaki walked through the door.
“Good morning everyone,” she said. Her voice was so calming, rhythmic. It’s funny the things you forget after not seeing someone for a while. She sat next to Watari, who greeted her like normal.
Everyone else began to trickle in, with Isono and Wada being last like usual.
Monomoko began to explain the game. The confession game, as predicted. Takeshi thought that most of their classmates would probably be relieved. This is all information they already know about each other, at least. There won’t be any curveballs there.
The red buttons on the desk seemed somewhat cheap. He supposed they didn’t have to be expensive. The more he thought about the resources that went into making this ‘killing game’ the more confused he got.
“The game is very simple. During each turn, I’ll share a fact about one student. I’ll refrain from sharing any names. When a fact about you is stated, please press your button and share a fact related to the information revealed. If you refuse to do this, the round will be lost, and you will not receive your reward.”
Takeshi froze.
“What? But that wasn’t…”
“Takeshi!”
Nagawa was in front of him. Nagawa was all he could see. Takeshi’s face reflected on his red sunglasses, his necklace clinking on the desk as he moved closer.
“Takeshi, it’s okay. Trust me, okay? It’s okay.”
“But it's not…that’s not fair!”
He resented the fact that he sounded like a kid, but no other words could make it out. His throat locked up, every part of him tense. It felt like he could hear his uncle's footsteps approaching. He could feel the weight of his uncle pushing him down onto the floor and-
“Takeshi!”
Nagawa was shaking him.
“We think…we think it’s you.”
Takeshi looked around. No one’s button was glowing red. No one’s. And he’d missed the statement. He doubted it would be a different one, but he could hope. But he didn’t know how to ask.
“Right.”
Hitomi looked angry.
“Rabbit, he wasn’t here. Please repeat the statement.”
“This student suffers from post traumatic stress disorder as a result of childhood sexual abuse.”
He inhaled, like the first time. His heart was going too fast, and it felt like someone was touching him. Just barely, just a slight caress, all over his body. It made him want to peel off his own skin. He exhaled.
And pressed the button.
“Ojima Takeshi has claimed this statement. That answer was correct.”
He was shaking. His shoulders were shaking. His breaths came too quick.
“Takeshi,” Mai called. He shot up. “Say something you already told someone. It doesn’t have to be in depth.”
“I don’t-” Nothing was coming. The words weren’t coming. He could feel the desk, the chair, but he was seeing everything in third person. “I can’t think-”
Nagawa made a protesting noise, and footsteps got closer. Footsteps. Takeshi could feel himself pulling away.
“How old were you when it began?” she asked. Her voice was so close. Like she was right there. He could see her hands. They were scarred.
“You can’t just ask him that!” Nagawa yelled.
“Three,” he said quietly. “I was…I was three.”
She turned around, away from him. She had her back to him. How? How, when she had felt the same pain? How could she be so sure all the time?
“Boom. There you go. Additional fact.”
Nagawa leaned on his desk. Takeshi wished they were both drawing something, safe in his room.
“Takeshi,” he whispered. “You can go now. I know you need to.”
Ordinarily, he’d argue. Nagawa’s fact would come up, he would need comfort too. But slipping away, this time, didn’t seem like a choice. He was already half gone.
–
Miki looked down at her nails again. Double checked. Triple checked. They were filed down.
Even if she began to scratch, she wouldn’t cause any harm. At the very least, digging her nails into her forearm made her feel safer. Monomoko stood completely still as usual. Totally rigid. The first time around, Miki had spent half the time convinced that the rabbit was some kind of Miku-esque hologram.
“This student put their own older sister in the hospital.”
She squeezed her eyes shut as she pushed the button. Her clammy hand made the button feel sweaty. Like she’d already pressed it before. In a way, she supposed she had.
“Isono Miki has claimed this statement. That answer was correct.”
Everyone was staring at her.
She quickly turned her gaze down to the desk. They had never found out about her confession. She had died too early last time. Too quick.
Being around Sasaki made her feel nauseous, like she should still be crawling away.
“It happened when we were…um…arguing.”
She wondered how vague she could keep it. What exactly the rabbit constituted as a fact.
“Please complete your fact.”
“We were…arguing about my…health.”
She held her breath for a couple of seconds. She hoped Monomoko could hear her thoughts, hear her mentally begging to move on.
Wada had turned backwards in his seat to give her a supportive smile. Guilt made her throat close up. Wada of all people couldn’t find out. Not him. Not Tsuno. Not people that she had promised to see when they got out.
Because when they did get out, they would find out the truth. That she can’t even leave her front door.
Hasegawa wouldn’t stop fidgeting. His suit was rustling a lot. Kamimura was muttering something and Okazaki’s stupid coat button things were making so much noise. The room smelled like coffee and sweat, and the smell was curling up inside her every pore. It was too much. It was all too much.
“This student witnessed the death of a close family member at age six.”
The button sound was so loud.
“Hasegawa Ken has claimed this statement. That answer was correct.”
“She…she was my sister.”
If Miki had killed her sister, what would she do? When she was just trying to help, just trying to replicate the bond they used to have. Back when Miki actually lived like a normal person. When she had friends. Activities. The ability to be on a street and breathe like a normal goddamn person.
“This student has purposely, physically harmed a colleague in order to get further in their field.”
“Tamba Ruiko has claimed this statement. That answer was correct.”
Yanagai’s chair screeched. He angled himself so that no one could see Tamba’s face.
“It happened when I was sixteen.”
She said it so quietly, in a way so unlike Tamba that Miki watched Kamimura snap his mouth shut. He leaned his head on his hand, brow furrowed.
“On several occasions, this student has been hospitalised for malnutrition.”
This time, everyone turned to Chiba. Chiba seemed unbothered as she pushed the button, delighting in the sound it made.
“Chiba Airi has claimed this statement. That answer was correct.”
“I’m on a very strict diet!” she said with a smile. She said it in a familiar way, a tone that Miki had rarely heard her use.
Her TV voice.
“That’s…that’s not okay Chiba,” Hama said gently. Miki frowned, wondering why they were having this conversation now. It’s not like it was new information.
She thought back to how it happened last time. Everyone was saying how obvious it must be, because the person would be so small…
Miki’s eyes widened.
After pressing the button, Chiba had started whining about climbing the rope. She had put Hama on the spot, and completely deflected.
“I don’t think now is the time, Hama,” Miki said. Chiba stared at her, wide eyed. For once, the tiny actress was silent. It was unnerving, having her and Hama stare her down like that.
“Right,” Sasaki said awkwardly. She was very pointedly not looking at Miki. “Let’s get this game over as quickly as possible.”
Miki pushed down her resentment. They were in a killing game. She knew she was going to die first anyway. She felt it. It wasn’t just paranoia that time, keeping her confined and helpless.
The killing game wasn’t Sasaki’s fault.
But the pain? The blinding panic as she crawled, mouth open to yell for help? Her jaw being smashed into the floor, grieving her life, her future, as she was losing it?
That was Sasaki.
And Sasaki still wouldn’t look her in the eye.
“This student has killed before.”
Hayashi wasted no time pressing the button. It was the same last time too.
“Hayashi Mai has claimed this statement. That answer was correct.”
“He was a bad guy,” she said, looking at Chiba as she said it. The small smile on her face stayed as Chiba grinned. Miki thought they were probably being too obvious, but it was cute anyway.
The rabbit was silent for a moment longer than usual. Like it was debating whether to accept the answer. She hoped for Hayashi’s sake it would.
“This student lied about taking a vacation to cover for-”
Tsuno pressed the button.
“Tsuno Manami has claimed this statement. That answer was correct.”
Tsuno leaned forward on her desk.
“So we can just interrupt the statement, then?” She had a polite smile on her face. It didn’t reach her eyes.
“I’d prefer it if you didn’t. I was hoping to let the game play out naturally, and not have to make a rule against that.”
“So are you going to make a rule against that?” she asked.
“Yes.”
Tsuno nodded, her smile still a little forced. She leaned back in her chair, and turned to face Okazaki of all people.
“I decided to go into rehab because I was getting too violent.”
Okazaki twitched. She began to tap the thumb of her right hand against each finger. Miki had no idea what that meant.
Or what any of that was about. The dynamics of the group aren’t anything like she remembered. She was totally out of place.
With a sinking heart, she realised the only person who could probably understand that feeling was looking at her.
Sasaki Hitomi.
Chapter 3: Confession Game Aftermath
Summary:
The confession game continues!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“This student has been in an intimate relationship with a teacher.”
Miki watched Sasaki’s eyes widen. Just a little. Her jaw clenched, but otherwise, she seemed to maintain perfect composure.
She wondered if that’s how she seemed whenever it happened. Gritting her teeth and waiting for the teacher to be satisfied. Waiting for it to be over.
Sasaki frowned as she pressed the button.
“Sasaki Hitomi has claimed this statement. That answer was correct.”
The room was too big. Every sound seemed to echo. And Sasaki was just staring down at her sleeve. Miki couldn’t see her face anymore, but she was completely still.
“Hitomi,” Nakamigawa prompted.
“Don’t call me that!” she yelled. She didn’t look up from her sleeve. But her hand, the one down at her side, began to shake.
“Hitomi, what were you wearing when it happened?”
“What? I-”
Sasaki’s breath hitched.
“My…my old school uniform. I threw it out when I got this one,” she said slowly.
“Good,” Hayashi said. “If you have anything else from then, burn it when you get home.”
Hitomi nodded, still staring down at her desk.
“This student has performed unlicensed surgery.”
Okazaki remained still. Miki had no idea what was going on under that mask. She tried to catch Watari’s eye, to see what was happening, but Watari was staring straight ahead.
“We know it's you,” Nakamigawa said.
She pressed the button, her movement unusually stilted.
“Okazaki Hanano has claimed this statement. That answer was correct.”
“My friend asked me to,” she said softly.
Miki gave her a hesitant smile. She wasn’t sure how it was received, but she understood that stilted movement. The anxiety behind it. And if Okazaki was willing to go so far for her friends then who was she to judge? She wasn’t sure she had any friends who would rely on her that much.
–
Hanano never planned to reveal anything about herself in this game. A warm feeling left her feeling lighter than she could begin to describe. Tsuno Manami. An excellent rival.
A rival that was interested in hearing about her! The giddiness bubbled over every defence she had, spilling over the lies she told people and up onto her tongue. The truth.
She bit down hard on her tongue to stop more from coming out. Not even euphoria should bring that out.
Watari was still ignoring her where possible. Tsuno hadn’t so much as glanced back her way since. Isono had smiled at her, which was fairly amusing, all things considered.
Hanano was thankful for her mask. She could stare in both Watari and Tsuno’s general direction without getting told off. It’s not like they could confirm she was doing it.
She zoned out, thinking about Tsuno.
Tsuno’s body, mangled by Hanano’s trap. Wada’s screams, his face red and covered with tears. Not exactly unusual for him though. He was always crying about something.
Harada’s turn came and went. She considered bringing up Sawa again, but Watari had been very upset the last time she did it. She missed Watari.
Hama’s turn. It was pretty obvious just looking at him that he had been in a juvenile detention centre. The way he talked was too careful, like he had been forbidden from doing so for too long to talk normally anymore. He moved weirdly too, his limbs straight and stiff. The caution with which he approached daily activities, movement, socialisation, all pointed to one institution.
Strangely enough, Tamba was hugging him. Huh. Hanano supposed Tamba did latch onto whoever she deemed strongest. Hayashi’s face was unreadable like usual. Hanano would be devastated if she were in that position.
Yanagi somehow related his family history to how he discovered his passion for ice skating. Watari was turned away from her still. It was frustrating. She wanted to see her face, wanted to see the small open mouthed smile she got whenever something was interesting to her.
She wanted to see if that story about dance connected with Nishi.
Nakamigawa kept his brief. That his parents knew and didn’t care about his addiction.
She wasn’t surprised.
The final three students, she realised, would require her full attention.
“This student had made, and failed, multiple attempts on their own life.”
Kamimura already has his hand on his button. He pressed it, turned to Hasegawa, and nodded.
“Kamimura Kazutoshi has claimed this statement. That answer was correct.”
“The first time I lied and told my aunt that I just made a mistake with my medication.”
“She believed that?” Tamba asked.
“I think she wanted to believe it.”
Hanano tuned them out, her eyes darting back and forth between Nishi and Wada.
“This student purposely drove their parents to a messy divorce.”
Nishi groaned and leaned back in her chair, throwing her arm over her eyes. She pressed the button.
“Watari Nishino has claimed this statement. That answer was correct.”
“This is so dumb,” Nishi muttered. “I did it because I wanted to go live with my dad.”
Hanano couldn’t really understand how domestic Nishi’s life was. It was almost enchanting, the drudgery of it.
No vans to steal, no freedom to travel, no nights away from everyone and everything. Nishi had always talked about how trapped and guilty she felt, wishing that she didn’t have to take care of her siblings.
Hanano wondered, if she had a sibling, would she have had to do the same? Would those family bonds and obligations really even hold up on the streets?
“This student spent their childhood in and out of foster care. They now live alone.”
Wada pressed the button without hesitation. It must be easy being the last one to go, she thought.
“Wada Masanari has claimed this statement. That answer was correct.”
“I um, went into care when I was eleven,” he muttered.
Tsuno placed her hand on his and gave him a comforting smile. Hanano hated that smile.
–
Takeshi didn’t remember getting to this room. He had only ever been in it a handful of times. There were notebooks piled up on her desk, her bedsheets pulled tight at every corner. It was strange to see the mattress actually on the bed. Hitomi’s.
He stayed still for another couple of seconds. Hitomi was at her desk, flipping through a notebook. She sat with her head resting on her hands, her expression blank.
“Hitomi?”
She glanced over at him.
“Oh. You’re back.” She shut the notebook gently, as if afraid to break it.
“Where’s-”
Hayashi opened the bathroom door, pulling her hair up into a ponytail. She removed the hair tie from her mouth and began pulling it through.
“Nagawa’s gone to ‘deal with something’ and told me to babysit,” she said gruffly, walking over to Hitomi’s desk. Hitomi shook her head at her, and pointed at the bed.
“Sit.” Mai tightened the ponytail as she sat. “He’s acting…strange,” Hitomi murmured.
Takeshi hadn’t exactly forgotten that Hitomi hadn’t seen Hiroaki improve, but it was still bizarre to hear. They had all been talking to ghosts so much that he, perhaps subconsciously, had expected them to listen. To know exactly what happened after they died. His gaze slid over to Mai, and wondered if she felt the same.
“Hard not to after that game,” Mai flapped her hand, physically dismissing Hitomi’s concerns. Even she, in all her toughness, seemed more open now. More physically expressive.
Or, she had, until she had been punished. Maybe now she was just getting it back. He wondered when that happened. He wondered how he hadn’t noticed.
“It doesn’t get any easier,” he said.
“Talking about it?” Hitomi prompted, her eyes sharp.
Oh. Right. He sat up straight again and tried not to seem too on edge. He nodded.
“Yeah…”
Mai fiddled with her earrings, seemingly having trouble taking them out.
“I found it easier,” she said, finally undoing one of the clasps. “I mean, I had my parents there to support me and found it much easier.”
“To talk about killing someone?” Hitomi said, somewhat breathless. She sat with perfect posture, the only imperfection being the cardigan that was crumpled over the back of her desk chair. Even still, she felt less guarded.
Maybe it was the relative safety of her room. Or just having Mai there.
Mai looked at Hitomi for permission before placing the earrings on her desk. Hitomi nodded.
“No,” she said. “I mean talking about getting raped.”
Hitomi went stiff. Takeshi couldn’t help but stare. If there was one thing he and Hitomi had in common, it was this. This adamant refusal to look what happened to them in the eye.
Nagawa had read her journals. Sometimes aloud. Takeshi always left the room. He couldn’t imagine having his experiences aired out like that and being okay with it.
“You were raped?” Hitomi asked. She was leaning forward a little now, towards Mai. Mai looked at Takeshi. He couldn’t understand what she was asking for, but he nodded anyway and hoped that was enough reassurance.
“Yeah,” she said quietly. “By the guy I killed. He kidnapped me when I was younger. I was there for a year. I escaped.”
“Hayashi,” Hitomi whispered, hand reaching out like she wanted to offer comfort. She pulled back when Mai didn’t move. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
Mai sighed.
“I’m sorry it happened to all of us.”
Hitomi stiffened again. Her cheeks were flushed. Takeshi watched her open her mouth, and thought she and Nagawa were so similar. She was going to say something scorching, something to push the attention off herself and onto something else.
“Me too,” Takeshi interrupted, staring down at the bedsheets. He wondered how Hitomi had the patience to pull them so tight every morning.
Hitomi’s mouth snapped shut. She turned away. And nodded.
–
Kazutoshi found Isono in the supply room, sifting through face masks. He was glad this was where he found her. If he didn’t have the courage to ask, then at least he could just pretend he was here for something else.
“Oh, Kamimura, hey.”
“Hey.”
He tried not to think about the last time. Isono was so kind, but so scared. He had been amazed that she just gave up her protection like that.
They were all so kind in the beginning.
He began plucking things off shelves and into a bin bag he had brought from his room.
“Are you hoarding?” she asked with a laugh.
“Better than having to leave my room every time I need something.”
“I get that,” she said.
“Do you?”
“Um…yes?”
Kazutoshi wanted to bang his head into the wall. The first time around he got all jealous around her, not knowing Ken was gay, and now this?
She must think that he’s a freak. She scooped up the facemasks she wanted and placed the others back in the box. In order. Neatly. He nodded in approval, and then realised she was looking at him.
“Are you…okay?” she asked. Her voice was laced with hesitation that he didn’t associate with her. That he did associate with pity.
“I’m fine,” he snapped. She put her hands up in a surrendering motion, apologising with a small smile on her face. It didn’t reach her eyes.
“Okay, I’ll be going now then. Masa and Manami are waiting for me.”
“Isono, wait.”
She turned quickly, eyes quickly scanning Kazutoshi’s empty hands. He opened them for her to see properly. He couldn’t blame her for the paranoia.
“Your confession. It was about your health.”
Her expression changed, just a little. Kazutoshi couldn’t pick out what it was.
“It was. I don’t really wanna talk about it,” she said lightly.
He couldn’t help but feel disappointed. It was nice, the last time when Hama shared about his sister. It had helped in a way, to see himself as one of many.
But she had no reason to trust him. Her eyes swept over his hands again. He steeled himself.
“I have cataplexy,” he blurted out.
She stared at him. Her gaze caught his. She seemed to understand that this moment was important, but not why.
“I don’t know what that is,” she finally admitted. He once again wanted to bash his head into the wall. Where was Ken when you needed him?
“It basically just means that if my heart rate spikes, I faint. It’s inconvenient.”
He put it simply, understated like usual. Strangely, he hoped she’d see through that.
“It sounds inconvenient,” she responded. “I…”
She paused, staring down at the ground. She opened her mouth, and then closed it again, brow furrowed in frustration.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he said quickly, before he even thought about it. He wanted to know, desperately. He wanted to feel less alone. But couldn’t stomach the idea of forcing it out of her. Not when he knew how dangerous that could be.
“No,” she shook her head, making eye contact. “I want to say it. I just-” she took a breath, digging her nails into her forearms. “You can’t tell anyone. At all. Please.”
He nodded solemnly.
“I won’t. I promise, I won’t. I wouldn’t do that to anyone.”
She sighed, digging her nails further in. He felt like he should probably say something, but he’d be a hypocrite. It’s not like she was seriously injuring herself.
“I have agoraphobia,” she admitted. “It’s bad. I can’t leave the house without a full on panic attack. I can’t go to school, I can’t go to the doctors, I can’t go see friends, I can’t do anything. It’s like my life isn’t even mine anymore.”
She had tears in her eyes that she quickly wiped away. He could see the marks her nails had left on her arm.
“Sounds inconvenient,” he said. She laughed and smiled at him.
“Yeah. It is.”
They were quiet for a few moments.
“I really should-” she began, lifting up the face masks.
“They don’t know?” he asked. She paused, pushing one of her ponytails back over her shoulder.
“No. They want us to all go out and get a meal together when this is all over. I want to go out and get a meal together when this is all over. I just…I don’t know if I can.”
Kazutoshi thought about it. Going back to a life that was entirely out of his control, restricted by his own body. That’s how he felt before the killing game began. It felt like nothing he did mattered at all, not when his body took over.
At least he had work.
He thought about what Tsuno might say. Or Hama. Or anyone who was good at handling these kinds of things.
“I don’t know how to help with that,” he said awkwardly. “But I can try.”
Her face went slack from surprise for a moment. Then she smiled again. This smile was gentle, simple, and made a dimple on her left cheek stand out.
“Thanks, Kamimura.”
“Call me Kazutoshi,” he said.
“Call me Miki.”
Notes:
I'm SO excited to be talking about the connection between Isono and Kamimura! Kamimura seems to naturally gravitate towards kind-hearted people so I can definitely imagine them as friends.
Also Sasaki and Ojima refusing to think about what happened to them is very important to me. I'd love to be able to further explore the similarities between Sasaki and Nakamigawa, their relationship is so interesting to me!
Chapter 4: Night-time Intermission
Summary:
Students hang out after the confession game.
Chapter Text
It was more than a relief for Tamba to have her legs working again. It felt like freedom settling over her bones. With every stretch, with every flip, that freedom lingered just a second longer.
Hama had appeared in the gym with red eyes. Tamba spotted him while upside down. She walked on her hands towards him, circling him when he laughed.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey.”
“Did you just come from Chiba's room?” she asked. He nodded.
“How’d you know?”
“You’ve got glitter on your butt.”
He made a surprised sound and began to dust it off. She wasn’t sure how to ask about Harada. About Chiba. Not without alerting Monomoko’s colleagues that something was wrong.
She went back to practicing, feeling her body burn through the stretches and jumps she had missed so much. She was excited to tell Yanagi about it. That she did actually, genuinely, like her sport.
It wasn’t just her parents. It was her, finding love for it on her own.
Hamas breath hitched. She wouldn’t have noticed if the sound didn’t echo on the walls. She turned to face him. He was crying.
She couldn’t help but think of the trial. How he had begged for God’s forgiveness, how he had cried out for his Mum.
She had thought that the restraints were exceptionally cruel, during his execution. When he had snapped one of them, she couldn’t help the surge of pride that rippled through her distress.
She ran over to him, a little more clumsily than she would like. He looked like Ojima usually did. Checked out. But Ojima had never cried when he left.
“Hama,” she said, reaching out to touch his arm.
He scrambled back, hitting the gym wall.
“Stop,” he said. “I’ll hurt you.”
Tamba shook her head, trying to approach more slowly this time.
“Hama,” she said, watching his eyes dart around the gym. “Hama, you aren’t going to hurt anyone.”
He stayed still. Too still. Like his limbs were locked in place.
Tamba felt hot anger flush through her body in one huge wave. It was unfair. So unfair.
She had literally ruined a girl's career, had disabled her, and not gotten this treatment. Hama didn’t deserve this.
“Hama,” she repeated, reaching out for his wrist. He didn’t react, still staring straight ahead. “Hama, look,” she pulled his arm out towards her, and then straight up. “Look, you aren’t tied up or anything. Look. You can move Hama.”
He finally looked at her. He finally looked her in the eye.
“Tamba?”
She let go of his arm and stepped back a little.
“Move your arms in a circular motion, Hama. Like this.”
She inhaled as she moved her arms forward. Exhaled as she moved them back. It felt silly to be audibly breathing, but Hama seemed to understand the pattern. He stepped forward from the wall and began to copy her. His breathing wasn’t as slow as she would have liked, but as the minutes went by, he seemed to get calmer.
Eventually, he stopped. Tamba stopped also, feeling silly again now that things were calm. Whatever that was, she had no idea how to handle it. She felt like she did it wrong.
“Tamba,” Hama began. “How did you know it was about restraints?”
Tamba blanched. She had totally forgotten she was meant to be acting like last time didn’t happen.
“Um,” she began. She felt sweat roll down the back of her neck. She couldn’t think of anything. She was drawing a total blank.
“Is it because of the prison thing?”
She latched onto his words like they were her saving grace. Which, to be fair, they probably were.
“Yeah,” she said quickly. “I just, assumed, that, like, I don’t know, I would hate being restrained like that and prisoners probably get restrained because they’re criminals and stuff.”
She pushed a few strands out from her face. She hadn’t done her ponytail as tightly as she should have. Her hand twitched as she opened her mouth again.
“I mean, I did hurt someone,” she said, just as quickly. “I thought maybe…if I got caught…”
Hama nodded.
“You’d be in the same situation.” He was quiet for a second, sinking down to sit on the gym floor. She couldn’t help but imagine Kazutoshi’s grimace. She sat down also. She didn’t mind a dirty floor. “Why didn’t you get caught, anyway?” he asked. “It’s not like you could’ve masterminded it.”
Tamba huffed. This is what she gets for being nice.
“That’s rude!” She smacked his arm. He barely seemed to notice it. “Honestly? I don’t know. I think it was just dumb luck.”
Hama hummed.
“So that’s all that separates us. Dumb luck.”
–
When Isono and Manami decide they want to have a sleepover, Masanari immediately volunteers his bedroom. Manami looks guilty as she agrees.
She knows how much time Masanari spent in Isono’s room after she died. He wonders if she knows how much time he spent in her room.
He was sitting on the floor when Isono got back from the storage room. She immediately flopped onto his bed and started humming.
“You seem happy.”
She nodded, grinning a little.
“Kazutoshi’s really nice,” she said, rolling over so she was just above his head. She leaned on his hair and he couldn’t help but relax a little.
He’d missed her.
“Toshi? Nice? Are you sure?”
She laughed, her hair sweeping down and hanging off the bed as she moved.
“I was surprised too. I thought he was gonna like, murder me or something for a second there.”
“I don’t think he could even if he wanted to,” Masanari said, leaning back onto the bed.
“He is pretty small,” she agreed. “Where’s Manami anyway?”
Masanari shrugged.
“She said,” he took a second to put on Manami’s voice. “You have to stay out of the kitchen, Masa! I have a surprise for you and Miki!”
Isono laughed, slipping down to sit on the floor with him.
“I always forget you can do that! It’s seriously impressive!” He flushed under the praise. “Have you ever got any weird requests impersonating for a living? Like…like blackmail?”
Masanari thought back to the filter he had to put on his emails.
“Yeah. A lot, actually. Most of it wasn’t blackmail though it was um…more inappropriate stuff.”
“Like of celebrities and stuff?”
“Actually, there was a surprising amount of requests for news anchors.”
“...Do you think there’s requests for Hasegawa?”
Masanari groaned, scrunching up his face.
“God I hope not. I have them filtered out anyway.”
Isono grinned.
“When we get outta here, I wanna read them.”
–
Kazutoshi’s body wasn’t good at a lot of things. Not basic functions, anyway. But his sense of smell? That was immaculate.
The smell of freshly cooked food slithered down the hallway, closer and closer to his room. Ken seemed undisturbed, scribbling in his workbook. He felt his stomach growl.
“O-oh, are you hungry?” Ken asked, finally looking up from his work.
“Obviously.”
“Hang on, I-I’ll just finish this up quickly.”
“I can go by myself, you know.”
“I know! I-I just prefer to go with you,” Ken said quietly, avoiding eye contact. Kazutoshi smiled. It was so easy to get a reaction out of Ken. He offered up affection like it was nothing, like there was no risk involved.
Kazutoshi sometimes envied that bravery. But mostly, he basked in the affection like it was about to run out.
There was a knock on the door. Ken squeaked in surprise. Kazutoshi grinned as he passed him.
“What?” he asked, opening the door.
Manami was there, smiling sweetly with a box in her hand. It looked like a takeout box.
“Hi Toshi, just delivering this before I go see Miki and Masa!”
“Don’t call me that,” he grumbled, reaching out to take the box. In it was food. Delicious food. He could tell by smell alone. “And you don’t need to be getting food for me, Manami.”
“Food?” Ken asked, getting up from his chair.
“Oh hell no, this isn’t for you!” he said, angling his body away.
“I know I don’t need to. I want to! Consider me your deliveryman!” she said, putting her hands on her hips and pushing her chest out. He snorted. She was ridiculous in a way that was almost endearing.
“Aren’t you a superhero?” Hasegawa asked, still eyeing up the food.
“AND a deliveryman! Anyway, I’ve gotta go,” she said, already turning away. “Enjoy the food Toshi!” she called as she walked down the hall.
“Don’t call me that!” he yelled. She turned around and grinned.
“Oh, it’s noodles,” Ken said. Kazutoshi looked down at his hands. When had Ken snatched the box?
“Hey!”
Ken smiled down at him. His eyes were always so expressive. So loving.
“Can’t I have just one bite?”
Kazutoshi grumbled.
“Maybe one.”
Chapter 5: Decision Game
Summary:
In the morning, the decision game begins
Notes:
Since the last chapter was so short, you get two chapters today! :D I hope you enjoy!
Chapter Text
Mai hadn’t expected Tamba at her door. Shigeki, maybe, but not Tamba. She was mid yawn as Mai opened the door, stretching her arms up towards the ceiling.
“Tamba?”
“The game's about to start soon,” she said sleepily.
“And you’re here, why?”
She blinked up at Mai, eyes bleary.
“Um.”
Mai raised her brows. She had expected Shigeki to be clinging to her. Had expected it when he hesitantly knocked at her door last night, eyes sweeping up and down her body, checking for injuries.
She’d even expected his stutter to come out in full force when she picked him up and dumped him on her bed.
But Tamba’s behaviour was strange. Out of place in a way that made her feel uneasy. She had no idea what the girl was thinking.
“Um, why not?” she said with a wobbly smile.
“Right,” Mai said, arms crossed. She gave Tamba her best unimpressed stare. Usually it would make the blonde crack in under twenty seconds, would make her confess to whatever was going on.
But she was quiet.
“Um, Mai, I think-” Shigeki paused in the bathroom doorway.
Tamba’s uncertain smile grew into a huge grin.
“Shigeki! Spending the night?” she asked, stepping into the room.
“Yeah, sure, everyone get in my room, why not,” she mumbled, turning away to put on her jewellery.
“U-um, I, noth-nothing happened I was j-just-” he looked to Mai for help, his face burning.
She remembered his confession, how he had yelled it mid argument. She had expected him to take it back, then. For him to say something about his feelings overwhelming him in the heat of the moment. That he didn’t mean it.
But then, he doubled down. He talked about going on a museum date, talked about her going to see him perform. She couldn’t push down a smile at the thought. The way he described performing made it sound enchanting. She was sure it was enchanting to see.
“He was checking on me,” Mai said succinctly.
“Sure,” Tamba replied, drawing the word out with mischief in her eyes. Shigeki’s face somehow got even redder. She clipped her earrings in and allowed the warm feeling in her chest to stay. He was adorable.
She had only just finished brushing her teeth when Monomoko called them to the auditorium. Tamba was sat on her desk, telling Yanagi a story about some gymnast as he made the bed.
“So then, she got back from Scotland, and found out that he hadn’t separated the dogs and there was peanut butter-”
Monomoko repeated its announcement.
Tamba pouted and pushed herself off the desk.
“Fine, fine, we get it, jeez,” she mumbled.
“You’ll have to tell me the rest later, princess Tamba,” Shigeki said as he fluffed up a pillow. Mai watched him fondly. Of course he was the type to fluff up pillows every morning.
“You’re gonna love it,” she said with a grin.
“C’mon,” Mai said, holding the door open for them both. Shigeki looked like he was about to protest, but as he looked up at her he flushed under her gaze. She grinned.
He was really cute.
When they reached the auditorium, Nakamigawa was already fighting with someone.
“Jesus Christ you always have be talking, why are you always talking?” Toshi snapped, trying to get in Nagawa’s face. Privately, Mai thought he was a little too short to do it effectively, but she wasn’t about to say that.
“At least I have something useful to say instead of whining all the time!”
“Oh yeah, that’s what you’re known for. Everyone loves Nakamigawa because he’s so useful.”
Mai rolled her eyes. Hasegawa and Ojima were both sitting next to each other, both with a cup of coffee. They didn’t seem phased, so Mai opted to stay out of it.
“Do you two have to start that this early?” Tamba whined, sinking down on one of the benches that littered the edges of the room.
“Shut up Tamba!” both of them yelled.
“Oh my God I was literally just saying!” she yelled back.
Mai stared at the coffee Ojima and Hasegawa had with envy.
“Coffees in the kitchen,” Ojima said, catching her longing glance.
“Let me get it,” Shigeki said. He moved in a way that was so graceful, so regal, that she forgot she was going to protest. He left the auditorium with a smile.
The door had almost shut when Mai caught a flash of red. Watari swung them open and swept her eyes over the room.
“Morning everyone!” she yelled, drowning out the argument those three were still having. Mai spotted the equipment table in the middle of the room. Great. It was the decision game again, like she predicted.
She hoped there was no twist this time, the game was bad enough as it was.
Shigeki took a while getting the coffee. She began to get nervous, glancing at the door every few seconds when she heard his voice down the hall.
“I had no idea antihistamines were so effective for that,” she heard him say.
“Right?” Manami responded, her voice as perky as ever. “Hasegawa has been teaching me a lot!”
Shigeki held the door open for Manami and then scanned the room, eyes finally settling on Mai.
She smiled as he handed her the coffee, holding the hot bit so she could grab the handle.
“You’ll burn yourself,” she said bluntly, taking the mug.
“Nonsense, I’m fine,” he replied, turning to examine the room. She watched his face fall when he spotted the equipment table. She wouldn’t let the same thing happen again. Not to him.
Wada and Isono were, predictably, the last ones to arrive. Wada looked like he was sleeping on her as they shuffled to the middle of the room.
“Morning guys!” Manami said, her voice loud and cheery.
“Mmh,” Isono groaned. Wada just nodded.
“Okay,” Sasaki said. She was much quieter than usual this morning. She had been since last night, when Mai was in her room. “Rabbit, explain the game.”
“Today’s game is the Decision Game. It’s very simple in concept. During each round, a student will be selected and assigned a punishment. You may choose to accept this punishment, or you may choose to inflict this punishment on another student.”
“And by inflicting it you mean that we ourselves will inflict it?” Sasaki asked.
“Yes. Let’s begin round one.”
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
The jingle from the speakers sounded like it came from a slot machine. Mai thought it was a little tacky.
“Wada Masanari. Please step forward.”
So it was a different order, like the last game. She wondered if the punishments would be out of order too, since they tended to escalate in difficulty as time went on. Wada seemed nervous, snapped out of his sleepiness as his hands clenched around the edges of his hoodie.
“For your punishment, you may choose to take a blow to the stomach, or inflict a blow to the stomach on one of your peers. Please make your decision now.”
Wada froze. Mai couldn’t help but stare at the bat on the table. The first time around, they really thought it would just be a punch.
“I-”
“Wada,” Okazaki called out, her voice sing songy. He jerked, and didn’t face her as he answered.
“Yeah?”
Mai tried to push down her anger. They couldn’t be obvious. They couldn’t. It was better for Wada to suffer now than for them all to be given away. She tried to breathe through it.
She knew why it got to her so much. Seeing Wada so scared, imagining how he must have tried to scramble away from Okazaki in the computer lab, begging her to stop.
She remembered how it felt to be in that position. She remembered struggling to breathe, her skin feeling tight and so, so fragile. She remembered coughing, trying to get enough oxygen while he laughed. While he told her that no one was coming.
She was completely on her own.
“Give it to me,” Okazaki said, her voice pleasant. Nagawa opened his mouth to say something, but Ojima stepped on his foot. Right. They had to be quiet. It was better for Wada if they were quiet.
Wada finally turned to stare at her.
“Why?” he asked, his voice cracking.
“Because I can take it.”
Her voice was so serene, Mai was almost impressed. She was copying exactly what Tsuno had done last time.
Mai didn’t think she could look at Tsuno’s face and say nothing. Wada stared for a second, mouth open in shock.
“Please make your decision now,” Monomoko repeated. Mai saw the second his resolve hardened.
“I-I’m giving it to Okazaki,” he said firmly.
“Very well. Hanano Okazaki, please step forward. Wada Masanari, please approach the equipment table.”
“Please take item six.”
He hesitated again. She loomed over him. He didn’t take his eyes off her as he picked up the bat.
Mai had felt a sick kind of pleasure in the knowledge that he had stabbed her.
He swung, his face scrunched up in an expression Mai couldn’t name. She gasped as it made contact, instinctively curling up a little. She remained standing.
“I-I’m,” Wada began. He sounded like he was crying. “I’m sorry.”
“Masa, come here,” Isono said, opening her arms up. Wada ran into them, chest heaving as he hugged her tight.
At least he didn't have to hurt Manami this time.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
That stupid jingle played. Mai was gonna hear it in her dreams at this point.
“Tamba Ruiko. Please step forward.”
“Me?” Tamba asked. “O-okay.” She looked to Shigeki for reassurance. He nodded, and she jerkily walked to the middle of the room. She stood stiffly, her hands clenched at her sides.
“For your punishment, you may choose to receive a slash across your leg, or inflict the slash across the leg of a peer.”
Mai’s heart sank. Tamba had only just gotten use of her legs back. She knew how important it was to her that she could use them. She saw how happy she was when she was in the middle of one of her routines. That glowing happiness reminded her of Shigeki.
“Tamba, give it to me,” Mai called out. Shigeki frowned, and Tamba didn’t even look her way.
“I’ll…I’ll take it,” Tamba said.
“Tamba!” Mai yelled. “I said I can take it!”
Shigeki put his hand on her arm, turning her attention to him. He shook his head softly. Mai gritted her teeth. She couldn’t understand how the dynamic between the three of them had changed.
“A student aggressor is being selected.”
“Kamimura Kazutoshi. Please step forward.”
Mai had her eyes trained on Tamba, so it took her a second to realise that Kazutoshi wasn’t moving. In fact, he was completely leaning on Hasegawa.
Hasegawa was gently shaking him.
“Kazutoshi,” he said quietly. “We need you awake, just for a minute, okay?”
“Mmh?” Kazutoshi’s eyes slowly opened. Mai had forgotten how much the adrenaline had affected him.
“Kamimura Kazutoshi. Please step forward.”
Slowly, he peeled himself off Hasegawa.
“‘S it my turn?” he mumbled. His throat sounded scratchy. Mai wished she’d brought some water.
“You have to slash Tamba’s leg,” Watari said.
He wrinkled his nose.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah,” Tamba said. “He’s probably gonna pass out halfway through and like, kill me by accident. Can’t you pick someone else?”
“Oh, fuck you!” he hobbled to the middle of the room.
“What? I’m not getting punished just because you pass out all the time,” she said with an eye roll.
“Tamba,” Mai warned. Tamba, again, didn't look at her. At least that stayed the same, Mai supposed. Tamba never listened when it came to arguing with people.
“Jesus, do you want me to stab you?”
“I want you to stop stalling - who are you, Nagawa?”
“I’m not even a part of this!” Nagawa yelled.
“Kamimura Kazutoshi. Please take item two from the equipment table.”
“Urgh, this is so unsanitary,” Kazutoshi complained.
“Well, at least he’s at the height where he doesn’t need to bend down to do it,” Nakamigawa said with a giggle.
“Shut up,” Kazutoshi said.
“Yes, please shut up,” Ojima repeated.
Kazutoshi went quiet.
“I’ll make it quick,” he said quietly.
“Thanks,” she muttered.
Mai wondered if the two of them would ever admit that they were friends. Mai kept her eyes on Tamba's face as the knife slashed through. She could trust that Kazutoshi wouldn’t hit anything vital. Tears were rolling down Tamba’s cheeks, her face pale as she looked up to the ceiling.
“Aah! Owowowowowow that hurts!”
Luckily, Manami had the foresight to bring a first aid kit. She had explained to Mai that she had asked the rabbit about the games, and if they were all confession based. It gave her an excuse to bring the kit when the rabbit implied that physical harm would be involved.
“I-I,” Kazutoshi said, frozen with the knife still in his hand. Mai watched his knees buckle and raced forward.
“Tamba, take the knife!”
The last thing they needed was an accident. Tamba swung forward and snatched it out of his hands as he fell. Mai caught him just because his head hit the ground.
Hasegawa was hovering over her shoulder. She brought him back to his spot by Hasegawa, and sat him on the floor. Hasegawa acted as a physical support, holding the man up.
“Shigeki. Come keep an eye on him,” she said.
“Right!”
Tamba was still standing there, knife in hand. Blood was dripping onto the floor. Shit. Mai marched back over and slowly scooped her up.
“M-mai?” she asked, her face flushed and sweaty.
“Toshi’s okay, let's get you to Manami.”
Slowly, Tamba nodded.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
The jingle played again as she placed Tamba down next to Manami.
“I’ve got you, it’s okay, I’ve got you,” Manami said gently, unzipping the kit.
“Hayashi Mai, please step forward.”
She groaned. She wanted to stay with Tamba, to make sure nothing was wrong. She trusted Kazutoshi, but he wasn’t exactly in his right mind. Maybe he did hit something. Maybe Tamba needed her.
“Okay, let’s make this quick,” she said, stepping into the middle of the room.
“You may choose to relinquish drinking water privileges for 24 hours, or-”
“I’ll take it,” Mai interrupted. She seethed. Of course she got off easy. Of course. While Tamba was bleeding, she stood unharmed. She breathed in deeply, remembering how her parents had taught her to do it.
She had to remain calm.
“Please do not interrupt,” Monomoko said.
“I said I’ll take it. Are we done now?”
“I suppose.”
“Great.” Mai rushed back to Tamba in a way she hoped didn’t look too desperate. By the look on Manami’s face, she failed.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“Sasaki Hitomi. Please step forward.”
Sasaki had that look on her face again. It was like she was completely shut down, exempt from any emotion.
“For your punishment, you may choose to receive a slash across the back, or inflict the slash across the back of a peer.”
She inhaled, staring down at the floor.
“I’ll take it,” she mumbled. Mai blinked. She’d never, not once, heard Sasaki mumble. She’d heard her yell, scream, berate and cry, but never mumble.
“A student aggressor is being selected.”
“Okazaki Hanano. Please step forward.”
Chapter 6: Decision Game Part Two
Summary:
The decision game continues. Tensions rise in the group.
Chapter Text
“You should probably sit down for this,” Okazaki said, her voice as breathy as ever. Mai hated how relaxing her voice was. It felt wrong, on someone she knew could and had done so much damage.
“Right,” Sasaki said, sinking down to the floor.
“Kazutoshi?”
Mai turned to see Kazutoshi with his eyes half open, still leaning entirely on Hasegawa.
“Kazutoshi, are you okay?” Hasegawa asked quickly, panic lacing his voice.
“M’fine.”
Mai frowned. He was slurring his words too much. She had no idea how to help.
“Okazaki Hanano. Please take item two from the equipment table.” Okazaki picked up the knife and crouched, grabbing the bottom of Sasaki’s shirt.
“Ew,” Kazutoshi said. “You need to clean it, dumbass.”
Okazaki turned to slowly look at him. Kazutoshi’s breath hitched, and he collapsed again. Frustration bubbled up in her. Okazaki was going to be a huge problem.
“Okay, I’ll clean it,” Okazaki mumbled. She pulled Sasaki’s shirt up higher, to the point where she felt Tamba turn away, face flushed. Okazaki wiped the knife on her shirt.
“Hana-Okazaki!” Watari chided. “Why are you using her shirt? You have like, a billion layers on!”
Mai paused. Something was wrong.
Sasaki wasn’t complaining.
Sasaki was barely breathing. Okazaki turned to answer Watari, and the movement made Sasaki gasp.
She kept breathing in like that, gasp after gasp. A panic attack. She was crying, her hands shaking in her lap.
“I don’t want my clothes to get dirty,” Okazaki said simply. She made a curious noise when she noticed Sasaki’s condition, and tugged her shirt again.
“Stop,” Sasaki whispered. She sobbed as she hunched over, grabbing her shirt and trying to pull it down. “Stop, please. Stop it!”
Okazaki leaned closer, and whispered something in Sasaki’s ear. Sasaki shook violently, her face red and blotchy with tears.
“No - I didn’t - no,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “Please, I’m- I’m sorry. Please.”
“Okazaki,” Manami snapped, stepping towards the middle. Mai put out her arm, stopping the superhero in her tracks. The last thing they needed was Okazaki getting the attention she so desperately wanted.
“Okazaki, that’s enough,” Ojima yelled. Okazaki’s posture remained casual.
“I didn’t do anything, though,” she said, as if genuinely confused. “She’s just like this.”
“Just get the punishment over with,” Mai demanded.
Sasaki was still begging, her mouth moving even though the words weren’t audible. Ojima looked shaken, his face pale as he stared at her.
“Aah!” Sasaki yelled out briefly, but stayed hunched on the floor. Okazaki went to lift her shift again to dry the knife. Sasaki flinched away from the movement.
Mai had been so focused on Sasaki that she hadn’t noticed Hiroaki step into the front of the room. He got in between Sasaki and Okazaki.
“Your turn is done now,” he said, his voice unusually flat.
“Hm.” Okazaki turned back to her spot, neatly placing the knife back where it originally was. Hiroaki circled around to Sasaki’s front, kneeling down in front of her.
“Hitomi,” he called quietly.
She stared ahead for a second, uncomprehending. Mai saw the moment she came back to herself.
She frowned, her expression firm again. She tugged her shirt down, and turned away from Hiroaki's gaze.
“Don’t call me that,” she said. Her tone had none of its usual bite.
“You’re as bad as Toshi,” he teased.
She huffed.
“Oh no, other people can call me Hitomi. Just not you.”
He chuckled and held out his hand for her to take.
She stared for a second, and then took it, hauling herself up with a groan.
“That stings,” she hissed, her eyes watery.
“Let me help,” Manami said.
Mai watched in amusement as Hiroaki tried to walk Sasaki over to Manami without looking at her back. When he finally made it over, he allowed himself to gag.
“God, it's so gross.”
“Oh, get over it,” Sasaki snipped.
Mai watched Manami cautiously bandage Sasaki up, taking great pains to not touch her more than necessary.
Hama was called forward. His punishment was to forego food until the next killing takes place. Mai wondered if Monomoko’s motive reprieve would allow him to eat.
“...I can take it,” Wada piped up.
“Oh no you don’t!” Hiroaki said, taking his attention off Sasaki for a moment. “There’s absolutely no way in hell I’m letting that slide!”
“Mmh, my head,” Kazutoshi mumbled. “The fucks he yelling about now?”
“Hama’s punishment,” Hasegawa supplied quickly, eyes flicking between the two. Hama smiled at Wada.
“Thanks, but you’re so tiny I don’t think you can handle it. I’ve got the power of demons coursing through my body, I won’t even feel it,” he said with full bravado.
“Hm, that does seem like a good idea actually,” Manami said.
“The demon thing?” Watari asked.
“No, no,” Manami replied with a laugh. “I mean, maybe we should do this fairly. We could all vote on who would receive a punishment to make sure it’s something that person could handle.”
“But there are gonna be some punishments that no one will be willing to take,” Tamba said quietly. “I mean, I bet there will be.”
Tamba glanced up at Mai to confirm that her correction had been approved. Mai nodded, a small smile climbing up her face. God, her friends were so dumb. So endearing and so, so dumb.
This is what she gets for hanging around athletes.
“That’s true, but shouldn’t we try? I mean, Nagawa doesn’t like blood anyway, right? So if his punishment is anything to do with blood, he might not be able to do it, and then we’d all get punished.”
“That’s…actually a good point,” Shigeki conceded.
“Does anyone else have a problem with blood?” she asked, eyes landing on Kamimura. He bristled, teeth clenched even as Ken nudged him. “Or any other problems we should all know about?”
“Kazutoshi,” Hasegawa scolded. He looked like a kicked puppy. Kazutoshi resolutely didn’t look at the man, but must have still felt the power of his sad eyes.
“I-” he sighed. “My blood doesn’t clot.” He said sulkily, without looking anyone in the eye.
“Good to know,” said Manami, smiling politely. “Anyone else? No?”
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
Shigeki jumped at the sound. She smiled. She can’t believe he forgot that the rabbit was there. She was definitely gonna tease him about that later.
–
Kazutoshi was not having a good time. At the very least, the thing he was leaning against was warm. It felt pleasant against his back.
“Ew, I’m on the floor,” he murmured.
“Y-you’re awake!” Ken replied. “S-sorry, it was the best way to keep you upright. I didn’t want you to hit your head.”
He felt shame surge through him. He was missing so much about what was happening. Chiba was crying, holding her hand tight to her chest. Yanagi and Harada looked vaguely nauseous. Fuck, he didn’t even know if Ken had went yet.
As if he’d read his mind, Ken leaned close to fill him in on what happened.
“Yanagi and Harada had to drink that paint thing, Chiba had to burn her hand, and Okazaki revealed Hiroaki's student profile to the class. We agreed that after the game, he should be the first to pick up the profile so he can incinerate it.”
“You haven’t gone yet?”
“No.”
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“Hasegawa Ken. Please step forward.”
“You jinxed it,” Ken whined. Kazutoshi blew air out of his nose in place of laughter. Anxiety sloshed in his stomach, creeping upwards towards his throat. It tasted like bile.
“Yeah, sure.”
Hearing Ken scream last time, sobbing into the floor as the game ended, was agony.
Ken seemed unconcerned, standing in the middle of the room politely, hands clasped in front of him.
Kazutoshi held his breath.
“Please take the third unmarked box from the equipment table.”
He exhaled.
“Thank. God.” He tried not to lean back, feeling woozy, but relief made him deflate a little. Yanagi was at his back, holding him up. “Get off me,” he snapped.
“My apologies,” Yanagi said. He looked clammier than usual. Ken would probably look the same in a few minutes.
Kazutoshi waved him off. Ken's face scrunched up, like he’d just eaten a lemon.
“Urgh, that’s so gross,” he complained, rushing back to where Kazutoshi was sitting. Kazutoshi would be flattered if Ken’s eyes weren’t on his leftover coffee. He swished the coffee around his mouth before swallowing. “That’s…that’s better.”
Harada grimaced.
“Urgh, why didn’t I think of that? I’m gonna be tasting that for years.”
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
The stupid jingle played. Kazutoshi hated that jingle. He didn’t feel as woozy now that Ken’s turn had been and gone. Still, he leaned into Ken's side a little. It’s not like the man would comment on it.
“Hiroaki Nakamigawa. Please step forward.”
“But I- I’ve already had a punishment!”
“Hiroaki Nakamigawa. Please step forward.”
He grumbled as he moved to the middle of the room.
“For your punishment, you may choose to take a slash across the cheek, or you may choose to inflict the slash on the cheek of a peer. Please make your decision now.”
“What?” he yelled, scandalised. Kazutoshi rolled his eyes.
“Don’t you roll your eyes at me!” Hiroaki yelled. “You wouldn’t take it either!”
Kazutoshi raised his eyebrows, sitting up properly for an argument.
“My. Blood. Doesn’t. Clot!”
“Well you - I - it’s-” Hiroaki scrambled, turning his gaze to the bloody knife on the table.
“Nakamigawa,” Ojima interrupted. “Relax, I’ll take it.”
“What? No, I’m not going to do that to you!”
Ojima walked to the middle of the room like it was already decided. It reminded him of Ken last time. So sure that it was the only way, so sure that Kazutoshi would do it. It made him feel a little nauseous to think about.
“It’s literally just a slash,” Ojima said bluntly. “Just don’t close your eyes when you do it.”
“I wasn’t gonna!”
“Please take item two from the equipment table.”
Hiroaki picked up the knife with trembling hands, and angled it towards Ojima’s cheek.
“Oh my God!” Kazutoshi cried. Hiroaki jumped. “Clean the fucking knife before you use it!”
“Don’t yell when I’m holding a knife!”
“I wouldn’t have to if you had common sense!”
“Toshi’s right, Nagawa,” Manami interrupted.
“Not my name,” Kazutoshi and Nakamigawa said at the same time. Kazutoshi glared at him. Manami laughed.
“Give it here.”
She cleaned the knife quickly and efficiently, holding it up for Kazutoshi’s inspection.
“Yeah, you’re good,” he said.
“Takeshi, I don’t know about this,” Hiroaki said nervously, fidgeting with the knife in his hand.
“Just do it,” Ojima said.
Hiroaki inhaled deeply, and clumsily slashed Ojima’s cheek. It was a very shallow cut. So shallow Kazutoshi worried that Monomoko might make them do it again.
“I’m so sorry, oh my God I can’t look I can’t look.”
“Is that deep enough?” Watari asked.
“Oh my god don’t give it ideas!” Tamba hissed.
“That is sufficient,” Monomoko said.
“Let me have a look,” Manami said.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“Ojima Takeshi. Please step forward.”
Manami’s face twitched in what Kazutoshi was sure was frustration. It was odd to see her mad.
“Okay, I’ll look at it after this,” Manami said pleasantly.
“I’ll try to be quick,” Ojima assured her, walking to the middle of the room.
“For your punishment, you may choose to receive a stab to the hand. Or, you may choose to inflict a stab to the hand of a peer. Please make your decision now.”
“What.”
“For your punishment-”
“No, I heard you,” Ojima sighed.
“This is probably where we should discuss who should receive the punishment,” Okazaki said. Kazutoshi refused to look up at her.
“...Right,” Manami said reluctantly.
“Maybe it should be someone who doesn’t use their hands as much,” Okazaki continued. “It can’t be Yanagi or Tamba, because they’re athletes. They need those hands. Harada,” she paused. “Needs his hands for Sawa. We don’t want a loose tiger in the halls.”
Harada inhaled sharply. Chiba stepped in front of him, as if to protect him from Okazaki’s words.
“Public figures like Chiba and creatives like Hiroaki and Ojima need their hands too.”
“I don’t know if this is how we should be deciding it,” Isono said hesitantly.
“How else?” Okazaki questioned. “We should be doing it by who will be the least negatively affected, correct?”
No one responded.
“I can take it,” Manami said.
“No,” Mai said sternly. “You’re our main medic. That’s not happening. Besides, I can take it.”
“No, you’re needed in a similar way,” Yanagi insisted.
“I have three other extremities to fight with,” she said bluntly.
“It’s not happening Mai, just drop it!” Tamba cried.
Okazaki hummed.
“Perhaps it should be…Wada.”
Wada jumped. He looked sickly.
“Me?”
“You mainly use your voice for your livelihood,” Okazaki said. “Don't you?”
Slowly, he nodded. Kazutoshi stared. Wada was usually scared of everything that moved, but he hadn’t seen fear this intense before. It made him want to look away.
“I’m not giving it to Wada,” Ojima said. He said it with his jaw clenched, glaring directly at Okazaki.
“I’m giving it to you.”
Chapter 7: Decision Game Part Three
Summary:
The decision game comes to an end.
Chapter Text
“Why?” she asked, her voice calm. “I’ve done nothing to you.”
“You’ve pissed me off, that’s why.”
Ojima was shaking. Kazutoshi had never seen him like this. It reminded him of when Yanagi snapped.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” she said. Her tone was so sincere. Kazutoshi shivered. She’d sounded similarly sincere when she’d fucking tortured him to death.
‘Does it hurt?’ she had asked him. He was choking on his own blood, his mouth was in agony and when he opened his mouth to say something, he realised he couldn’t. The panic was blinding, his heart rate spiked.
He watched as she put his tongue in her pocket. He gagged and cried.
Ken was leaning on him more than usual.
“You okay?” he whispered.
Ken nodded.
“Just sick.”
Ojima picked up the knife before Monomoko could tell him to.
“Hand,” he said, gesturing for her to put it on the table.
Kazutoshi squeezed his eyes shut.
“Ken, I don’t want to watch this,” he said quickly, before he could lose his courage.
He felt arms embrace him, his face was pushed into Ken’s chest.
“Then don’t.”
Okazaki screamed. The sound got quieter. Everything got quieter.
—
Manami was aware that there were only a few punishments left. She was also aware that as time went by, they got worse.
She thought about a brand settling below her cape. She thought about how much it would sting, throbbing for weeks on end. Fear fizzled through her. It made her feel cold and hungry. It made her fingers shake.
She watched Yanagi pull the final bandage tight around Okazaki’s hand. He’d insisted on being the one to patch her up. Maybe to distract himself from throwing up.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“Watari Nishino. Please step forward.”
“Finally,” she said, a touch too jovially. She approached the equipment table, nervously glancing at the tools laid out there.
“You may choose to accept a brand on your back, or inflict a brand on the back of a peer. Please make your decision now.”
Manami thought it was somewhat lucky that the fire dancer got the burning punishment. At least she would have more resistance to it than someone like Masanari would.
“...Right.”
“Nishino, this isn’t-” Hama began, his voice shaking. She took a second, not facing him. Manami watched her face transform from terrified to happy in a second.
“Re-lax!” she said, turning to face him with a smile on her face. “Fire is my bitch, I’ve totally got this!”
“Nishino,” he responded, his eyes watering. “Nishino, this isn’t a joke.”
She turned away.
“No,” she said, her voice flat. “No, it isn’t.”
She examined the branding iron on the table.
“...I’ll take it.”
“Understood. A student aggressor is being selected. Please stand by.”
“Sasaki Hitomi. Please step forward.”
Sasaki remained still.
“Sasaki Hitomi. Please step forward.”
“Hitomi?” Ojima asked, approaching her slowly.
“I…I’ve got blood on my shirt,” she said. She was staring vacantly. Manami understood that she wasn’t entirely present.
“Nakamigawa, give me your jacket,” Nishino demanded.
“You wanna get blood on my jacket?” he yelled.
“No,” Nishino said impatiently. “I wanna make sure no one sees her while she gets changed. She can have my jacket.”
Manami softened. Nishino may have been forced into a caregiver role, but she still loved fiercely, far beyond what duty called for.
“Do we have someone else who has a problem with blood?” Hama asked.
“I’m sure she didn’t used to,” Miki said bitterly.
Manami cringed at the statement.
“Well, she does now, so let's fix it,” Mai said.
Mai held up Nakamigawa's jacket. Manami heard shuffling as Sasaki pulled off her shirt.
“Here,” Nishino said.
Sasaki shrugged the jacket on. Mai gave Nakamigawa's back.
“Red looks good on you!” Nishi said, leaning close to Sasaki. Like she wasn’t about to get literally branded.
“...Thanks. It’s my favourite colour,” she said, her voice still oddly flat. Nishino and Sasaki made their way to the equipment table. Sasaki stared at the table for a minute. “...What am I meant to be doing again?”
“Branding me,” Nishino said casually.
“Oh.”
“Sasaki Hitomi. Please take item five from the equipment table.”
“I don’t,” Sasaki paused, staring at the table. “I don’t want to do this.”
“Yeah, well. You have to,” Nishino said, taking her shirt off.
“Jesus, warn a girl will you!” Tamba said, turning away quickly. Nishino chuckled.
“Nervous, Tamba?”
“Shut up!”
Nishino sank down to her knees, placing herself right by the table legs. She held onto them.
“Okay. Ready.”
Sasaki didn’t move.
“Sasaki,” Nishino pushed, turning her head to face her. “The longer it takes, the more freaked out I’m gonna be. Do it now. Please.”
“I-” Sasaki stared at her.
“Please. Just do it.”
Manami watched as Nishino’s flesh burned. The smell was horrible. Nishino was screaming, her hands shaking as they clung to the table leg.
Okazaki stumbled forward, unusually clumsy. Nishino stopped her with a glare.
“I’ve got this, I’ve got this,” Manami muttered. “Shigeki, help me move her!”
–
Airi’s turn had been and gone. She should feel better. She should feel more relaxed. But Watari’s screams had been so disturbing she couldn’t help but cry.
None of this was fair. None of it.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
It was going too fast. Airi wanted to tell Monomoko to slow down, to let them have a minute. But she could only cry, clinging to Hamas leg.
“Isono Miki. Please step forward.”
Airi lifted her head to watch. Isono had been strange before, telling Hama exactly what Airi had wanted to say during the confession game. She hadn’t gotten to know Isono before. She knew she was a performer, just like Airi. But not much else.
The motive had been too intense the first time around.
“For your punishment, you may choose to receive a slash across the arm, or inflict a slash across the arm of a peer.”
Isono didn’t hesitate.
“I’ll take it.”
“A student aggressor is being selected.”
“Yanagi Shigeki. Please step forward.”
“I’m a little busy!” he protested, gesturing at Watari’s back. Airi still couldn’t look.
“Yanagi Shigeki. Please step forward.”
“Be quick,” Manami ordered.
“Please take item two from the equipment table.”
Hesitantly, he walked over to the equipment table, holding a damp cloth. He wiped the knife clean.
Isono seemed calm, holding her arm out patiently.
“Miss Isono, I’m so sorry-”
“Eh, don’t worry about it,” she said, waving his concerns away with her other hand. “At this point in the game, I’m kind of glad I got this one. Be quick, though, I’m worried about Watari.”
“R-right!”
He slashed her quickly. She winced, stepping over to the first aid station Manami had set up.
“I can handle this myself, don’t worry,” she said, settling near Watari.
“I’ll check it later, just in case,” Manami said absentmindedly.
Airi admired her strength. She couldn’t even look at Watari’s back.
She cried, frustrated with herself.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“We’re nearly through, Chiba,” Keizou said, kneeling down next to her. “We’re nearly there.”
He had, at first, tried avoiding her this time around. Until she had wailed at his door, begging to be let in. They had cried together, and he told her about Yukino. About Sawa. When they got out, she was going to visit the couple. She’d bring Hama with her, and they’d all go out and get soba together.
She didn’t see Sawa anywhere in his room.
“Tsuno Manami, please step forward.”
“I won't be long, I promise, Nishino, I won’t,” Manami said gently. Watari was still crying and groaning from the pain. Okazaki knelt down in front of her, shielding her face from everyone. Watari was clinging to Okazaki, crying on the girl's jacket.
“For your punishment, you may choose to relinquish your access to the school dorms until the next killing takes place, or you may inflict this punishment on another student.”
Manami sighed.
“I’ll-”
“No!” Watari yelled. “Please, no, no.”
“Nishi?” Okazaki said, pulling back a little to look at her face properly.
“Tsuno, give it to me, please. I’m begging you, just do it.”
“Nishino, there’s really no-”
“Please!”
Manami looked conflicted.
“Give it to her,” Mai said firmly. Manami seemed at a loss for words.
“I…okay. I’m giving my punishment to Nishino,” she said quietly.
“Thankyou,” Watari said, all but collapsing in Okazaki’s arms.
“Last one,” Keizou reminded her. “We’re almost done.”
His voice was gentle, but she couldn’t relax. It was Toshi’s turn. Panic clawed its way up her throat. She couldn’t remember what the missing punishment was.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
Toshi hauled himself up with Hasegawa’s help.
“Yeah, yeah. We already know who it is.”
“Kamimura Kazutoshi. Please step forward.”
“Already done,” he said, crossing his arms.
“Kazutoshi,” Hasegawa said, his voice filled with desperation. “Kazutoshi, I can take it.”
“Not happening,” he said with gritted teeth.
“For your punishment, you can choose to be strangled for thirty seconds, or choose to inflict this punishment on a peer.”
“I’ll take it,” he said quickly.
“Are you sure that’s wise?” Yanagi asked, his tone a little timid.
“Would you ask literally anyone else that?” Toshi said. “It’s not a blood thing. I can take it.”
“Understood. A student aggressor is being selected.”
“Isono Miki. Please step forward.”
“O-oh. I’m the one doing it,” she said slowly. Toshi seemed to relax a little. She whispered something to Toshi, who flushed.
“I-”
“It doesn’t have to be him!” Isono said, a little louder this time.
“No, I-okay. Yeah. Hasegawa, can you support my weight? I’m almost definitely gonna pass out during this.”
“Yeah, I don’t wanna have to start it again,” Isono said awkwardly.
Hasegawa blinked.
“U-um, yeah! Yeah, I can do that.”
Hasegawa slipped his arms under Toshi’s, not looking Isono in the eye.
“Um, I don’t…I don’t really know how to strangle someone?” Isono admitted, her hands loose around Toshi’s neck. Toshi adjusted her grip.
“Put the pressure here, okay? I don’t want this to last longer than it has to, so be efficient.”
Isono nodded, her expression determined.
“I’m sorry about this in advance,” she said softly.
“Eh, I’ll be knocked out for most of it,” Toshi said.
Airi reached for Keizou’s hand. She couldn’t imagine being in Isono’s position. Just thinking about it made her tense up.
Toshi began to gasp, jerking a little as he instinctively tried to get away from her grip. Airi’s vision got blurry again. She was still crying.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Keizou said softly, pulling her into a hug. “It’s okay, I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
Airi tried to focus on his words instead of the sounds Toshi was making. Isono was crying too. Airi could hear it.
“I’ve got you, you’re okay. We’re all okay, I’ve got you,” he kept repeating. “After this, we’ll get you a warm drink. A warm drink and we’ll do some crafts in your room, okay? We’ll get out the glitter and make something pretty. I promise, we’re all okay.”
Airi nodded, clinging tighter to his shirt.
Finally, finally, the sounds stopped. Toshi began to cough, spluttering as Hasegawa held him.
Finally, the game was over.
Chapter 8: Medical Attention
Summary:
The students tend to their injuries
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Shigeki didn’t know how Manami handled this on her own the first time. There were bottles and bandages laid out everywhere in the med-bay, and more students kept trickling in.
She was laser focused, impatiently pushing back her hair every time it fell forward. She had Watari lying on her front, and had sat Kazutoshi down in a nearby chair. He kept insisting that he was ‘fine’, but knowing him that didn’t mean much.
Hasegawa was throwing up into a bucket, his body trembling.
Shigeki felt a little envious, he kept tensing as his stomach roiled. He had to keep it down for now. There were people to help.
Kazutoshi was rubbing Hasegawa’s back, fussing over him. It was strange and almost heart-warming to see them switch up their behaviours like that.
Almost, being the keyword. The stench of vomit only incensed Shigeki’s stomach.
Tamba appeared in the doorway, being held by Mai. Mai was saying something to her, placing her down gently on a seat and propping up her leg with such care that Shigeki had to push down a scowl. He recognised the ugly feeling for what it was. Jealousy.
He knelt down by Tamba’s leg and examined the wound. The skin was raised and puckered. There was some dried blood crusted onto the bottom of her leg and ankle.
“...Shigeki,” Mai said, her voice muted. He blinked. “Shigeki, can you hear me?”
“Huh?” he looked up at Mai. A warm hand touched his forehead. The warmth felt nice. He leaned into it.
“Shit, okay,” someone said. It sounded like Mai. She seemed worried. “I’m taking Shigeki to the bathroom. Kazutoshi, can you handle this?”
“Yeah, I got it.”
Warmth enveloped him. It felt nice, like he was wrapped up in his sheets. He snuggled into the comfort with a sigh, whining when he felt something sharp at the back of his neck.
“Oh, right,” the voice said. There was some jingling, and then the sharp thing was gone.
“Mmn,” he complained when his butt connected with a cold surface.
“You gotta throw up,” the voice said. The voice was so assured that he just nodded.
“Okay,” he said simply.
“Um, sorry,” a polite voice said. “Have you seen Yanagi?”
“Urgh, don’t apologise,” Nakamigawa said.
Shigeki put a hand to his temple. He winced. His stomach was really making a statement right now.
“Med-bay, go,” Mai ordered.
“Urgh, the med-bay is so gross,” Nakamigawa whined.
“You don’t have to come,” Harada said, his voice getting quieter.
–
Kazutoshi tried not to bask in being one of the only lucid people in the room right now. It was just so rare.
Ken was out of it even after throwing up. He’d pushed his head against the wall, and when Kazutoshi asked why he just said ‘S’cold.’
“Rui, stop messing with it,” Kazutoshi said, slapping her hands away.
“It hurts though,” she said with a pout.
“Well, if you wanna go back to being a feral little gymnastics goblin then you need to let it heal.”
“Hey!” she pouted more. It was honestly kind of charming. “I don’t think you can call me little anyway Kazutoshi.”
“Yeah, sure, insult the guy who’s patching you up, see how that ends for you.”
Ruiko huffed, closing her eyes and smiling.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
Kazutoshi grinned.
“Try me.”
As he turned to check on Ken, he heard the world's most annoying voice approaching.
“Does your girlfriend also wear one of those stupid hats?”
Kazutoshi groaned. Why was Nakamigawa even coming to the med-bay? It’s not like he was injured. If he had to guess, the guy was literally just turning up to make his day worse.
Ken grimaced.
“You making that expression because of the pain or our incoming arrival?”
Ken chuckled, lifting up his sleeve to wipe sweat from his face.
“Can’t it be both?”
Nakamigawa swung the doors open and walked in first, even though Kazutoshi was sure that Harada was the one who needed help. Sure enough, Harada looked around, seemingly lost until his eyes landed on Manami. Who was still helping Watari.
Harada quickly looked away, his face getting paler.
Kazutoshi passed a damp cloth to Ken before standing.
“Harada, you good?”
“I-um,” Harada began. “I need medical attention.”
“I just need attention,” Nakamigawa said, settling next to Ruiko.
“We know,” both he and Ruiko groaned.
–
Nagawa wouldn’t look at him without his face spasming. Takeshi lifted his hand up to check that the plaster was still there.
Hitomi was in the shower. He and Nakamigawa told her that they were going to walk her back to her room. In case she fell or something from her injury. Hitomi had flushed, insisting that she was fine.
When Nagawa left, he looked at Takeshi with meaning. The problem was, Takeshi had no idea what that meaning was.
He hoped he didn’t intend for Takeshi to try and comfort Hitomi through whatever had happened before. He didn’t exactly handle it well when it happened to himself. He had no idea what to say to her.
“Argh!” she cried, her voice rising over the sound of water hitting the floor.
“Hitomi?” he called.
She didn’t answer.
“Hitomi?” Gently he nudged the door open, just a tad. “Hitomi, can you hear me?”
“Yes,” she said, clearly crying.
“...Do you want help?”
“I’m not incapable!” she snapped. Something banged on the floor. It sounded like a bottle.
He braced himself. She and Nagawa were too similar, sometimes. He just had to approach this like he approached Nagawa.
“I didn’t say you were. I’m coming in to help.”
“But I-”
“Can you clean and bandage your back by yourself without aggravating the wound?” he asked, stepping into the room. His glasses steamed up for a second. He wiped them on his shirt.
“Well, I - no, but-”
“Then let me help. Please, Hitomi.”
Hitomi sighed.
“Fine,” she muttered.
He stepped behind the shower curtain. She was sitting on the floor, goosebumps covering her skin as she sat right out of the water's reach. Bloody water swirled around the drain. Her hair had been pushed forward, over her shoulders. A few strands remained on her back, sticking to the skin. He couldn’t imagine it was very comfortable.
“We should get you a hair tie," he said. She told him there should be some near the sink. After rooting around for a few seconds, he found them. Some of them were strangely cute for Hitomi. Hello kitty character charms were attached to the colourful hair-ties, while others were scrunchies with cutesy patterns and designs on them.
He returned with a few on his wrist.
“They’re cute,” he commented. She smiled a little, her cheeks pink.
“I like to wear them when I study at home,” she said.
He hummed. “I’m going to gather your hair and tie it up now, okay?”
He waited until she nodded. Luckily, her hair wasn’t dripping wet. He would’ve hated having to wring it out.
“This is just temporary,” he said quietly. “I’ll brush it out properly after.”
“I can brush my own hair!” she complained.
“Just-” he took a breath. He tried to remember what Manami said to unwilling patients. Everyone let Manami help them, no matter what. It was strange, how everyone seemed to trust her so much. He supposed it was the superhero thing. “It’s for my own peace of mind, okay? Please.”
“I-,” she hesitated. “Fine. Just this once. Whatever makes you feel better, I guess.”
He wrapped the tie around her hair a second time. Her hair was so thick - he was glad he brought so many ties with him. The little chibi character smiled at him.
“So, you like cute things?” he asked.
“Um,” she paused. “Yeah, I guess.”
“I’m not going to judge you,” he said simply, wrapping the hair around into a vague bun shape. “I read children's books for fun. When I go away, that entire world is filled with cute things.”
“It is?”
“Yeah. I like it that way.”
Hitomi slouched a little as he finished the bun. She reached out for the soap.
“Wait, wait, let me get it,” he said quickly. “The blue one, right?”
When he got confirmation, he reached over and grabbed it.
“I’m going to clean your back now. Is that okay?”
“Make it quick,” Hitomi said, her voice cracking.
“I don’t have to-”
“I want it clean, Takeshi. I’m not getting an infection just because…” she trailed off.
“It’s okay,” he replied. “I understand.”
She stiffened when the soap made contact. She didn’t inhale. She didn’t exhale.
“Hitomi, I can’t do this if it’s going-”
“Just talk to me,” she demanded, her words falling out in a hurry.
“Okay, okay, I’ll talk. Sometimes, when my brothers aren’t home, I like to watch baking shows,” he said, wiping down her back as efficiently as possible. She winced as the soap made contact with her wound. He didn’t want to be harsh, but he had a feeling that being too gentle would make her panic more. “I can’t watch them when they’re home, because they find it too boring. They always speak over the contestants and especially the judges, which drives me crazy because I want to know how they did it.”
Hitomi laughed.
“It’s so annoying when people talk over stuff,” she agreed. “My dad likes watching documentaries, but he talks over them the entire time. I don’t really get the point of it if you’re not learning anything.”
He put the soap back in its dish.
“I’m going to rinse it now, okay?”
She grimaced and nodded. He didn’t envy her as he lifted the shower head. The water hit her back harder than he would’ve liked, and she sucked in a sharp breath. He made it as quick as possible before putting the shower head to one side.
“That - damn that hurts,” she hissed. She hunched forward.
“At least it’s done now,” he said, turning off the shower.
“Yeah,” she said quietly. “The faster it begins, the faster it ends.”
He paused as he went to pick up a dry cloth. She had said that last time, too. He wondered, briefly, if that thought was how she made it through what had happened to her. Maybe that’s what she thought during her execution, too.
He swallowed, shaking the thoughts away as he returned with the cloth. She was already drying the rest of her body with a towel.
“For your back,” he said, holding it up.
“Mhm,” she turned, wrapping the towel around her butt for the time being. He was glad she wasn’t making a big deal out of this. He liked it, being around a practical person like Hitomi. Seeing her like that earlier had shaken him more than he thought.
It had shaken others too. Watari in particular seemed unnerved by the sight of their former leader trembling on the floor.
“I’m gonna pat it dry now, is that okay?”
She nodded.
“I- can you not tell Nakamigawa about the hair-ties? He’s insufferable enough as is.”
Takeshi chuckled, throwing the cloth into the laundry basket as he stood.
“I won’t.”
“You’ll probably want plaits for sleeping in, right?”
She pulled a face.
“Yeah, it's comfier than a bun or a ponytail. My hair gets all messy looking the next day though.”
It was funny seeing her sulk. He picked up two scrunchies and held them up for her approval. He must’ve picked right, because she smiled a little and nodded.
“My friend got me those when we were out shopping,” she said fondly.
“She sounds like a good friend.”
“She is,” Hitomi agreed. “Her grades are…lacklustre, but she tries so hard. It just makes me want to help her more. She’s admirable.”
“Even though her grades are bad?”
Hitomi turned, her brow furrowed.
“Grades aren’t everything!” she said quickly. “It’s…it’s trying that’s important. I have no interest in people who don’t try.”
Takeshi helped her wrap the bandage around her body. She seemed calmer. He laughed guiltily.
“I’m not sure why I’m here then,” he said lightly. “I’m not exactly focused.”
“That’s different. You have a condition. Besides, I can see you trying. I mean, that’s what you’re doing right now, isn’t it? You’re trying to make me feel better.”
He couldn’t help but smile.
“Right. I am.”
–
No one had commented on the disappearance of Sawa. Ken wasn’t going to, that’s for sure.
Kazutoshi had replaced Yanagi in the med-bay for the time being. His lack of squeamishness definitely helped him out there. He got close to Watari without grimacing, his face focused as he passed Tsuno another bandage.
He savoured the sight of him snapping at Tamba for moving again. The way he squeezed some hand sanitizer into Tsuno’s grateful hands. His nails were kept immaculately short, probably to prevent dirt from getting the opportunity to gather in the first place.
He felt someone else's eyes on him.
Tamba. Nakamigawa.
They looked at him with the disgust he deserved. At least Watari had tried to give Hama freedom with her suicide, even if it was ill fated. Ken hadn’t explicitly said it during the trial, but he knew that they knew - he was going to get them all executed, and then kill himself. He had intended to end the game with no survivors.
He didn’t know if the runners of the games would truly hate that or not. He hoped that they would.
The resentment he had harboured towards the other students seems ridiculous now that Kazutoshi is back. He can still remember the feeling, simmering in his chest as they went about their days like normal. Like Ken’s entire world hadn’t just fallen apart.
He had done to Yanagi what had been done to him, killing Mai like that.
“You good, Hasegawa?” Kazutoshi called over. He nodded, slowly. Kazutoshi frowned at the response and approached him.
The back of his hand was on Ken’s forehead. His hands were unusually cold. If he said so, Kazutoshi would probably make some joke about bad circulation.
His eyes were piercing as they ran over Ken.
Ken flushed, and then hated himself for it. Kazutoshi may have had feelings for Ken then, but that Ken had long since died. He was someone different now, a killer. He had followed the example of the woman who tortured him to death. He had killed a friend of Kazutoshi’s.
Kazutoshi had feelings for a stranger. Not for Ken as he existed now.
–
Nakamigawa was seriously getting sick of keeping things quiet. It sickened him, seeing Kamimura fuss over Hasegawa.
Hasegawa looked all innocent with his wide, adoring eyes and his hesitant smile. His eyes always followed Kamimura if they were in the same room together. They were always tangled up in each other, always whispering something.
It was cruel, what Hasegawa was doing. During the motive reprieve, he would tell Kamimura.
Yanagi returned in Mai’s arms, like usual. Nakamigawa was glad his face wasn’t all fucked up like last time. He hoped it’d stay that way.
He didn’t entirely trust what the rabbit was saying. Monomoko had its own interests at heart, that was for sure. Hoping that interest was to relieve guilt seemed blindly optimistic to him, but he wasn’t sure he could actually do anything if that wasn’t the case. If Monomoko just decided to have them all kill each other again, that’s what would happen.
Harada looked less sick now. He was thanking Manami profusely for her help, even as she laughed and waved the gratitude off.
Privately, he wondered when Manami was going to crack. He hoped she’d come to him.
Sawa wasn’t around, and Harada seemed lost without her. When Nakamigawa spotted him in the dining room, staring blankly at the table as sweat dripped from his jaw, he couldn’t stop himself. He had practically dragged the man here.
He wasn’t expecting to see Kamimura play nurse, but it was funny seeing him be rude to his patients.
“Rui, stop trying to stand up!”
“But I’m bored!” she whined. She had been incessantly fidgeting. She would fidget, hurt herself while fidgeting, and then fidget again. It was like watching a dog chase and bite its own tail.
“Not my problem,” he said, rolling his eyes even as he put her leg back up into position.
“What terrible bedside manner,” Nakamigawa drawled. “You should really work on that.”
“Why’re you even here?” Kamimura snapped, his eyes narrowed. God, he was so easy to rile up.
“Same reason as Tamba,” Nakamigawa shrugged. “I’m bored!” He copied her whine, dragging out the last word.
“Oh my God,” the man muttered, running a hand down his face. Nakamigawa sat up a little straighter. Maybe Kamimura would let him paint his nails! Probably only black though. He supposed it would suit the whole emo boy thing the smaller man had going on. “That is not. My. Problem. Just annoy each other,” he said before walking back to Manami.
Nakamigawa sighed. He supposed he should be getting back to Hitomi’s room. He left her and Takeshi together with the hopes that they could maybe comfort each other. Maybe they’d even talk about what happened to them.
He huffed at the thought. Fat chance. Knowing them? They probably just danced around it and pretended that everything was fine. He really did choose the most difficult people to hang around.
–
Whatever painkillers Manami had put her on were working like a charm. Nishino felt floaty and relaxed as she lay on the med-bay bed.
The mattress was uncomfortable and thin, but sleepiness had her eyes feeling heavy. She wished Hanano or Hama were here. They hadn’t checked up on her after the game ended.
Hama had been avoiding her full stop. She didn’t want to think about why. About what she had done to him. It had been a selfish attempt to feel like she was leaving the world having done something good. That she had done something productive for someone.
She knew that Hanano didn’t care. She knew it, when Hanano tortured their friends. She knew it, when Hanano wouldn’t stop talking despite how much Nishino begged.
But, still. It hurt that she wasn’t here.
“Thankyou for your help today Toshi,” Manami said. “You made things so much easier for me.”
“It’s fine,” he replied. “I know it’s bad to say, but dude, I feel so good not being the physically most worse off for once. No offence, Watari.”
Nishino snorted. Kazutoshi was always so funny.
“Mmh-” was all she could get out in response.
“You’re still awake?” Manami asked.
“Not fr much longer-” she mumbled. She wasn’t sure if she was coherent at all. She drifted off, thinking about buying a mattress with Hanano. They needed it for fishing.
Notes:
Ojima and Sasaki's friendship is PERFECT to me. I'm absolutely loving exploring relationships between characters that didn't get to know each other that well.
If you have any suggestions for that, PLEASE let me know, I'm having so much fun!
Chapter 9: In All Fairness
Summary:
Kamimura and Tsuno bond as they clean up the med-bay for the night.
Hayashi makes Kamimura some food and they hang out.
Tamba and Yanagi wake everyone up in the morning, and Harada grapples with self-hatred
Notes:
Love love love how so many seemingly unrelated characters all have something in common in that they hate how they used to be. Harada and Tsuno my precious'!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Kazutoshi muffled his laughter. Ken and Watari were both asleep, and both of them were snoring. It almost sounded like they were responding to each other.
It was relaxing, helping out in the med-bay. It felt like a way less intense version of his workplace. Manami didn’t mind when he sat down for a couple of minutes. She encouraged it, pointing him to a chair he could sit on while he passed her the equipment she needed.
It was even easier now that Ken was out cold.
When they were around the others, Ken became guarded in a way that disturbed him. He had always been anxious, sure, but this felt like something else. He was actively avoiding prodding at that feeling, just like he was avoiding delving into the feeling of terror that shot through him whenever Okazaki so much as glanced at him.
He’d deal with those feelings after they escape.
Manami looked dead on her feet.
“Dude, I think you should sit down,” he said. Her eyes were unfocused as she turned.
It reminded him of how Chiba was last time. He still struggled to look Chiba in the eye after what had happened to her. It was hard to recognise her as alive all of a sudden - back as if nothing had happened at all. Maybe that’s why Ken was acting weird. Maybe.
“Hm?” she paused for a second longer. “Oh, no, I’m okay! This place won’t clean itself!”
“Tsuno. I’m literally a cleaner,” he pointed out. She seemed sheepish as she sat, perched on the edge of a chair.
She smiled at him. It didn’t reach her eyes.
“Oh, right, I forgot.”
“...I’m gonna go get some cleaning supplies.”
She nodded. It freaked him out when she got all quiet and gloomy like this. He hoped he’d catch Isono or Wada or someone on the way to his room. He knew she was comfortable with them, at least.
“Hey,” Mai called out, sticking her head out the dining room doorway. “I’m making some soup. You want some?”
He shrugged.
“Sure. I have to clean the med-bay first though.”
“Cool. It’ll take a while anyway. I’m trying something new.”
“Can’t wait,” he said with a grin. He didn’t have many plans for when they got out of here, but one of them was to devour Mai’s cooking as frequently as possible. She snorted.
“Don’t look so excited about it, it’s just soup.”
“I would literally eat your soup for every meal every day of my life.”
She waved him off with a grin.
“Sure, sure. I’ll come tell you when it’s done.”
Kazutoshi hesitated before opening his door. He hadn’t been in his room alone much, not since the first time around. Ken had practically moved in. In fact, Ken always clung to him extra hard when they were in Kazutoshi’s room.
He’d be lying if he said he didn’t appreciate the extra comfort. It was always worth the mess. Since he’d put his cleaning supplies away in the cupboard, he knew he at least didn’t have to worry about finding notebooks amongst his sprays.
He hadn’t realised how freaked out he would be in his own room. He hurried, snatching up what he needed and then locking his door. Not that the lock had done him much good last time around.
It freaked him out that he didn’t know why. Monomoko had said they were unpickable. Then again, Monomoko wasn’t exactly a reliable source.
When he returned to the med-bay, he was surprised to see Manami in the exact same position he had left her in. Putting it down to exhaustion, he got started at the end of the room, wiping down the surfaces.
It was satisfying, getting blood out of the floor. He had a keen eye for it, and scrubbed away an odd blood stain that sat right below one of the chairs. Anyone else might’ve missed it.
It was a strange thing to take pride in, but he felt it nonetheless.
Manami hadn’t moved. He thought she was probably asleep until he started to clean the area in front of her. He paused, taking off his gloves and laying them on the side.
“Manami?” he called. He didn’t want to spook her, she looked so far away. Kind of like Ojima did.
“O-oh! Sorry Toshi,” she said, smiling in that same dishonest way. He huffed.
“Tsuno, seriously, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” she put her hands up in defence. “Nothing, sorry I’m just tire-”
“Bullshit,” Kazutoshi crossed his arms. “Tell me. I won’t tell anyone.”
She looked at him properly. Her eyes seemed almost purple. They were pretty, framed nicely with lashes that made them seem wider than they were. The colour of her eyes and her tanned skin just made her eyebags all the more prominent.
She sighed.
“Toshi, do you ever feel like you’re just predisposed to failure?”
He raised his eyebrows.
“Look who you’re talking to, Tsuno.”
She stared at the wall, a vacant look clouding her eyes again.
“...Aren’t you a superhero anyway? Isn’t that your whole thing? It doesn’t sound like you’re failing anything to me.”
She hummed.
“You’re starting to freak me out. You’re never this quiet.” She squeezed her eyes shut, fiddling with her cape. “...Manami?”
“There’s nothing I can do now,” she said quietly. “Nothing.”
Kazutoshi swallowed down his own dread. Going back in time after literally dying was overwhelming to think about. He was so powerless in this whole thing. If Monomoko changed its mind, would he just die again? Would he relive it?
“I mean,” he began. “Yeah, that’s kinda the case for all of us-”
“Toshi,” her eyes flew open. “Toshi, I can’t do nothing. I can’t.”
Seeing her like this panicked him. He heard his heart beat pound. Slowly, just as a precaution, he sat down next to her.
“I’m not saying that-”
“Toshi, something bad is going to happen. I can just feel it”
“You’re a bit slow on the uptake there Manami, we’re in a killing game, remember?” he said, trying to lighten the mood.
“Not that. I just - I know it. Something is going to happen, and I’m not gonna be able to stop it.” She put her head in her hands.
The first time around, when Kazutoshi had found out about Ken’s panic disorder, he’d scoured the bookshelves for answers. He didn’t know how to deal with anxiety, despite feeling a lot of it himself.
“I-Tsuno, listen,” he started. “I can’t say that nothing will happen, because I don’t know. But not every feeling is correct. Sometimes when you’re in a stressful situation like this-”
Tsuno laughed. He hadn’t heard that sound from her before. It was bitter. It felt wrong to hear it, like it was something private and intimate.
“You don’t need to explain paranoia to me, Toshi,” she snapped.
He took a second. Since when would she know anything about that stuff anyway? He barely knew about it and he suffered from it -
She gave him a stern look.
Oh, he thought. Right. Rehab.
“Sorry,” he muttered. “I forgot about that.”
She leaned back in her chair, staring up at the ceiling.
“People always do.”
“It feels like you want to talk about it,” he ventured.
She kept staring up at the ceiling.
“It’s heavy,” she said briskly.
“So is literally my entire life. I can handle it.”
She huffed.
“Fine, sure. I just - it feels like no one thinks that who I was then was me, if that makes sense. Like, every time I’m angry and upset people just look at me like I’m someone else. And it’s just,” she hunched forward in her chair, clasping her hands together. “I know I hurt people. On purpose. It felt…it felt exciting, to get away with it. That’s not who I want to be, Toshi. But it is part of me. It feels like no one at home gets that. Sometimes it feels like no one here gets that.”
She didn’t look at him as she spoke.
“And, and - I’m so ashamed that I enjoyed it. I felt so powerful, but I was so out of control. Being stuck in here I just, I just feel like I’m not myself again. I’m trying so hard but I keep getting so angry all the time. This just isn’t fair. This situation isn’t fair.”
“Life rarely is,” he said.
“That’s just the thing!” she exclaimed, finally looking at him. “It’s so frustrating, seeing the world treat kids like this! There’s just not enough people trying!”
“Trying to do what?”
“To do something! Anything! Masa is traumatised from his shitty childhood, Hiroaki is in a crazy amount of drug debt, Chiba is so malnourished it’s not even funny and you-”
She gasped.
“Sorry,” she said quickly. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
Kazutoshi squirmed. He hated talking about it. But he hated seeing Manami like this too. Her hands were shaking. They had been steady all day, treating everyone's wounds.
“No, you’re right,” he said quietly. “It’s not fair. You’re allowed to be mad and upset about that. To be honest, I don’t know why people don’t see that as part of you. Superheroes aren’t known to be motivated by rainbows and unicorns. What do they expect?”
“Hm. You’re right, like of course I’m mad. I don’t understand people who aren’t mad.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “The only times I didn’t feel mad was when I was trying to end things. It felt like a relief. I didn’t need to be mad at the world anymore, because I was escaping it. “
“I’m so sorry, Toshi,” she said, teary eyed. “There should’ve been someone looking out for you. There should’ve been someone who made you want to stay in this world.”
He shook his head.
“It’s fine. The last time was actually the last thing I remember before waking up here.”
“You did it right before?...”
He nodded.
“I actually didn’t give a fuck if I died, at first. I was trying to go out anyway. I wanted it to be on my own terms, though. I - I want to live now though.”
“With Hasegawa?”
He jerked. How the fuck did she know that?
She giggled.
“You guys are pretty obvious. I want you to be happy, Toshi. I’m so glad you have someone you can rely on.”
Kazutoshi tried to squash down his embarrassment.
“Whatever,” he murmured, turning away from her. He paused for a second. “What about you?”
“Huh?”
“What about you? Who do you have to rely on?”
Manami blinked, her brain seemingly stalling for a few seconds. She laughed, the sound once again shockingly ingenuine. She could never be an actor.
“I don’t need anyone to rely on,” she said hastily.
“And I do?” he said, eyebrows raised again.
“That’s not what I meant! I just - I’m a superhero, remember? People rely on me, not the other way around.”
“Doesn’t seem healthy,” he said bluntly. She dusted off her knees and stood up, hands on her hips.
“We can worry about healthy when we’re out of here,” she said politely. A tad too politely. Kazutoshi rolled his eyes fondly. He wasn’t exactly in a place to call her out on that.
“Sure.”
–
With Manami’s help, they had the med-bay completely clean before Mai had finished with the soup. Manami had stopped by Isono’s room to check on her arm, even though it wasn’t exactly necessary.
“Hey,” he said, entering the kitchen. Mai was throwing something in the sink. It looked like vegetable peels.
“No smart ass comment?” she asked, turning back to the soup. He groaned.
“No, m’too tired,” he grumbled. “Remind me to never go into healthcare literally ever.” She grinned and agreed with a salute.
“Aye aye captain.”
He huffed.
“Whats with the sink? Shouldn’t you just put them in the bin?”
“It’s for compost-” she cut herself off. “Oh. Right. Killing game. Basement.”
He snickered.
“You forgot?”
The back of her neck turned pink.
“Oh shut up,” she said with a laugh, turning the heat down low. She began to scoop the vegetable bits out of the sink. “Shigeki actually forgot the rabbit was there during the game earlier, y’know. Saw him jump and everything.”
Kazutoshi chuckled. He propped his elbows up on the table and rested his head on them.
“God that’s hilarious. Wish I was awake to see it.”
“Speaking of, are you doing okay? You seem a little…off.”
“You can just say I look like shit.”
“Fine then. You look like shit.”
He grinned. Hanging out with Mai never felt forced. She never looked down on him other than literally.
“Yeah, just - this motive kind of fucks me up.”
“How so?” she asked, eyebrows raised. He wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. He was lucky she was a good actor.
“Cataplexy,” he answered quickly. “I have it. If my heart rate spikes, I faint. So adrenaline isn’t ideal.”
“Jesus,” she said, snapping the bin lid shut. “If there is a God, you’re not His favourite.”
“No shit. Where is Yanagi anyway? He’s usually glued to your hip.”
“He’s in my bed,” Mai said casually.
“TMI dude.”
She laughed.
“Not like that,” she said, grabbing a ladle. “He just can’t sleep on his own. Tamba’s in my room too.”
“How’re you even gonna fit on the bed?” he asked. The ladle clanged against the pot.
“I’m not. I’ll take the floor or something.”
Kazutoshi hesitated. She poured the soup into the bowls in a way that seemed oddly graceful for her. She did it with a certain amount of flair. It’s how he’d expect Yanagi to do it.
“You can sleep in my room, if you want.”
She put the ladle back in the pot and carried over the bowls, her expression carefully calm. The caution didn’t suit her.
“You’re…fine with that?” she asked.
“I wouldn’t say it if I wasn’t,” he responded. “Consider it payment for the soup,” he continued, doing grabby hands as the bowl approached. He could feel himself nearly drooling. God that would be so embarrassing.
She laughed.
“Sure.”
As she placed down the soup, Kazutoshi watched it slosh around in his bowl. He blinked.
“Hang on,” he said, making Mai pause with the spoon half way to her mouth. “Does the soup count as drinking water? It doesn’t, right?”
“Shit,” Mai hissed. “Rabbit!”
Monomoko appeared. It didn’t say anything for a few seconds.
“It does,” the rabbit said.
Kazutoshi wondered what the fuck it was playing at. He hadn’t been blind to the fact that the confession game got harder this time around, or that the turn order kept changing. And now, this? It seemed like the restriction was being blown out of proportion. Like it intended to punish them for something.
“The fuck? It’s soup,” he said, gesturing to it.
“I’m aware.”
Mai groaned.
“Urgh, it’s fine,” she conceded. “I’ll just get something else to eat.”
Kazutoshi frowned. It seemed wrong that she made this for him and wasn’t eating with him. He felt like a leech.
Monomoko disappeared.
“Do you think Manami will mind if I have her leftovers?”
“It’s Manami, so probably not,” he shrugged. Mai stared at his food, and then at him, eyebrows raised. He flushed and began to eat. “God this is so fucking good.”
“It’s literally just soup.”
“It’s that good. I’d risk getting punished for this.”
Mai remained silent. There was a strange tension in the air. If he had to guess, something had happened after he died that he had absolutely no clue about. Great. Fantastic. Thanks, Okazaki. He frowned.
“Manami was being weird today,” he blurted out.
Mai brought a different bowl to the table. It was just basic rice and eggs with a shit ton of soy sauce on it. Just the smell of soy sauce made his stomach ache by association alone. He had been such an idiot when he was younger, eating whatever he wanted regardless of how it would affect him.
“How?”
“Um,” he took a second. He had told her he wouldn’t tell anyone, so he thought carefully about what to say. “She kept saying that she didn’t need to rely on anyone because she’s a superhero,” he said succinctly.
Mai tightened her grip on her chopsticks.
“I swear to god,” she complained. “That girl wouldn’t know self-care if I whacked her on the back of the head with it.”
“Are you gonna do that?” he asked with a grin. She looked thoughtful for a second, before a smile climbed up her face. Her expression was devious.
“Y’know what, maybe I will.”
–
Nearly every last one of the students woke up the next day to Yanagi and Tamba yelling Hayashi’s name.
Ken groaned.
Damn athletes and their crazy circadian rhythm. Kazutoshi was already up and poking his head out the door.
“Rui, what the fuck?”
“We can’t find Mai!” Tamba said, her voice wobbly. “She wasn’t there when we woke up!”
How many people is she gonna have in her bed? Ken thought, yawning as he sat up.
“She’s in my room, idiots. Now go back to sleep.”
“Wha-!” Tamba tried to respond, but Kazutoshi shut the door in her face.
“Kazutoshi! Why’s she in your room?” He locked the door with a loud click.
“Go back to bed,” he yelled, before making his way over to Ken.
“You’re such an ass!” Tamba whined.
Ken smiled as Kazutoshi practically stomped his way over to the bathroom. His blue hair was out of place and his bangs were all wonky. He had sleep in his eye, though Ken was sure he didn’t need to tell him that. For once, he wasn’t wearing his hoodie or a T-shirt. He was in a tank top and shorts.
It was nice seeing him like this. It was different from seeing his skinny wrists peek out of his hoodie whenever the sleeves came up. He could see the freckles on the back of Kazutoshi’s thigh, he could see where his skin was paler around his shoulders, a clear sign that he always wore T-shirts in the sun.
He had a mole on the back of his ankle, and a freckle on the back of his left ear.
He felt terrible for thinking of Kazutoshi in this way, knowing that he could never have him. But in a way, that disconnect helped. It allowed Ken to be selfish, drinking in everything he loved about Kazutoshi while he was still okay with being close to him.
“Ken? You good?” Kazutoshi asked, his expression concerned.
“I-uh-yeah, sorry! Just zoned out.”
“You’ve been doing that a lot lately.”
“I guess so,” he agreed, his smile sheepish. Kazutoshi was going to catch on eventually. It’s not like he was dumb. “I think I’m just tired.”
“Then let's go back to sleep,” Kazutoshi said, carefully wriggling his way into the sheets. “Also, we’re staying in my room tomorrow. Yours sucks,” he said softly, clearly drifting off.
“Okay.”
Ken watched Kazutoshi’s chest rise and fall as he slept. All that matters is that Kazutoshi survives. That was the last thought he had before he himself fell asleep.
–
Keizou woke up without Sawa at his side. He tried not to think about it as he got dressed, but her stuff was everywhere. As he shuffled into the bathroom, he accidentally kicked one of her toys. It jingled as it rolled away from his foot, coming to a stop at the wall.
He looked at himself in the mirror and cringed. He could find nothing to like there. He felt like he did before, pummelling some kid just for looking at him wrong. He didn’t even remember their name.
He only remembered looking back for approval, his eyes darting from friend to friend. They had grinned and cheered him on, like it was an actual fight.
Like it was fair.
Sawa hadn’t expected it. She kept looking up at Keizou the same way she did when she injured herself by playing too rough. Like she expected him to fix it.
It felt like it had been a choice. Chiba or Sawa. That kid or himself. And every time, he would take the easy way out.
At least Sawa’s death didn’t result in the horror that was his execution.
Even now, on the second go around, he made cowardly choices. Chiba had been the one to seek him out. She offered him comfort when it was his fault that she’d died in the first place. Worse than that, he literally hanged her. He manipulated her corpse like it was nothing.
He had hanged her.
He gagged, gripping the sink so hard his knuckles went white. It felt like his stomach was trying out one of Tamba’s gymnastics routines. Or Chiba’s climbing technique.
Wrap, tuck, push. Wrap, tuck, push.
The bedsheets had wiggled with the ferocity of prey trying to escape a hunt.
He swallowed. What would Yukino think of him now?
Chiba knocked on his door, telling him that if he wanted breakfast he’d have to get up now. He tore his eyes away from the mirror and opened the door.
“Sorry, Chiba, I still feel a little sick after yesterday,” he said with a strained smile.
“I told you to call me Airi,” she pouted, her arms crossed as she looked up at him. Like he had any right to address her with any sort of familiarity.
“Um, right, sorry.”
She frowned, her eyes flicked up and down.
“You should go to the med-bay,” she said, unusually serious. “I’m gonna go wake Hama.”
He laughed a little.
“Good luck with that.”
He found Hasegawa and Yanagi already in the med-bay.
“O-oh, morning guys!”
“Morning,” Hasegawa said quietly.
“Mmh,” Yanagi groaned. Keizou had to stifle his laughter. Seeing him drop the prince act every time he got a little tired was pretty funny. “I take it we're all here for anti-nausea tablets?”
“And a few other things, yeah,” Hasegawa said.
“Are you picking some stuff up for Kamimura?” he asked.
“Um, yeah, also for me though.”
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” the words left his mouth before he could stop them. Hasegawa’s anxious personality really reminded him of Yukino. The reminder unfurled itself into unexpected care for the guy, he supposed.
Hasegawa lifted up his hands, as if in defence.
“No I’m fine it’s just,” he looked away. “It’s just for anxiety,” he finished quietly.
“Oh, is it sertraline?”
Hasegawa looked surprised.
“...Yeah.”
“Oh my girlfriends on that, she said it’s good for depression and stuff too, right?”
Hasegawa nodded.
“It’s also used for panic disorders, obsessive compulsive disorder and can be used for PTSD, though it has been found to only moderately reduce symptoms of PTSD.”
“Huh. That’s really interesting Hasegawa.”
Yukino had said that she suspected he had depression. He wondered if he could talk to Hasegawa about it.
Yanagi passed him a tablet and returned to the medicine cabinet, rooting through it and putting down a few bottles on the counter. Keizou hoped they weren’t all for Kamimura. It would suck to be in that much pain.
“I told him to go to the med-bay,” Chiba said, her muffled voice getting louder as she approached. “He better be there, or I’ll be mad at him!”
Keizou honestly would have welcomed the anger. Chiba’s kindness only increased his disgust for himself.
“I’m sure he’s there,” Hama said casually. Keizou swallowed. Of course he was here. Chiba could tell him to kill himself right now and he would honest to god be tempted.
He’d do anything to absolve himself of what he had done. But that just wasn’t possible.
Notes:
Yanagi, Hayashi and Tsuno all being hypocrites when it comes to self-care advice is so important to me - look at them go with their utter lack of self awareness!
Chapter 10: The Cage Game
Summary:
The cage game begins, this time with a twist.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Bringing Kazutoshi a cup of herbal tea every morning before the game began had started to feel like routine. Ojima was always there at the coffee machine, not quite looking him in the eye as he gestured at a mug on the counter.
Last time around, he remembered Ken’s coffee preferences and made him one every morning.
He didn’t understand why Ojima was still doing it now. It wouldn’t be suspicious if he didn’t. In fact, it was probably more suspicious that he did. He didn’t have any reason to be making him coffee, after all.
“Hey,” Hayashi greeted, reaching over for the pot of coffee. Ken hadn’t even noticed her enter the room.
“M-morning,” he said quietly.
“You’re allowed to look at me, y’know,” she said, her voice tinged with amusement. Ken let out a weak laugh.
He barely looked her in the eye before he had killed her. He wasn’t about to now. He looked up at her face and kept his eyes on her nose. There. That was close enough.
“So,” she continued. “What do you think the game will be today?”
“Our options seem to be torture or humiliation,” Ojima said with a groan, putting milk back in the fridge. “It’s one or the other, so,” he took a sip of his coffee. “Who cares?”
“You’re in a great mood this morning,” Hayashi countered.
“I couldn’t get back to sleep after Tamba and Yanagi woke everyone up.”
“Huh? They didn’t wake me up,” she said, spoon clinking in her mug as she stirred it.
Ojima groaned again.
“Of course not. Why would they? It’s not like they were looking for you or anything.”
They kept chatting as Ken left to go to the auditorium. He found that his heart would start beating out of his chest if he spent too long away from Kazutoshi. Last time, all it took was the time to get a shower.
That’s all it took to lose him.
He’s surprised to see a cage planted in the middle of the room. He hadn’t expected the cage game to take place now.
“What’s with this thing?” Kazutoshi said, pointing at it.
“It doesn’t seem…that bad if we’re just getting in a cage,” he responded. Kazutoshi relaxed a little, letting the steam from his drink rise up to caress his face.
Nakamigawa was oddly silent. He looked sleepy, only mumbling a quick thank you to Ojima as he reached out for his coffee.
“Good morning,” Sasaki said, entering the room with all her usual bolster.
Nakamigawa looked up from his coffee and full on guffawed.
“Nice hair, Hitomi. Trying out something new?”
Her hair was puffy and frizzy in a way she had clearly tried to tamp down with a bit of water. It hadn’t worked. It looked all uneven, laying flat at some parts and rising up in others.
“I-” she sighed. “I don’t have to talk to you.”
“It’s a freeing realisation, isn’t it?” Kazutoshi asked. Ah, Ken thought. So it’s one of those mornings.
“Excuse you! I am a delight!” Nakamigawa cried. “Tell them, Takeshi!”
“He is a delight,” Ojima repeated with a flat voice, his expression unimpressed. Ken sniggered and Kazutoshi caught his eye. He seemed pleased.
Before an argument could break out, Monomoko appeared. Ken jumped a little as it spoke. He’d never get used to the way it just turned up out of nowhere.
“Today, you will be playing the Cage Game. It’s as simple as it sounds. All students will enter the cage. You may exit the cage at any time. However, if you do exit the cage, you will be instantly eliminated from the game. The last student remaining in the cage will be rewarded.”
“What happens if we leave the cage? Will we be punished?” Isono asked, digging her nails into her forearm. Ken frowned. Maybe he was just too distracted to notice the first time around, but he didn’t remember her doing that.
“There is no punishment for leaving the cage. You will simply be eliminated from the game. Please enter the cage.”
Ken nearly lost his footing on the way in, only held up by Isono who had caught his arm.
“Th-thanks,” he said with a lopsided smile. Isono brightened.
“It’s no problem!”
It was nice, being around Isono. He had truly failed her the first time around.
Once everyone was in the cage, Yanagi reached out to shut it.
“Before the game starts, I have two more announcements,” Monomoko said flatly. “Firstly, you cannot sleep while in the cage. In the event of a student falling asleep, they will be instantly eliminated.”
‘Great,” Isono muttered, propping her elbow on Wada’s head. Wada seemed somehow both offended and pleased.
“Secondly, I will tell you all what the reward is.”
Ken’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected this. Maybe he should’ve. It was a pretty good way to make them feel uneasy, actually having to consider what would happen in the event of a murder.
“The rewarded student will have the only vote in the event of a class trial. To be clear, no other vote will matter.”
“That’s…quite the reward,” Sasaki said.
“Indeed.”
–
“Masa, are you gonna be okay?” Manami asked.
Miki frowned. She looked down at her armrest and saw that he was pale. Like, really pale. Paler than usual.
“Masa?” she asked. She felt like she was missing so much context, seeing him like this. Had he won the reward last time?
Okazaki stepped forward, and Masanari threw himself back against the cage bars.
“I think he’s claustrophobic. Is that right, Masa-a-nar-i?” she asked, her voice as melodic as ever.
“Don’t call me that,” he snapped, staring down at the floor. He was shaking really badly.
“Masa, you can leave if you need to,” Miki said, stepping in front of him. She understood how little people staring helped when you were having a panic attack. She wasn’t big like Hayashi or anything, but she could at least block some stares for him.
“I-but,” he inhaled sharply. She leaned down to squeeze his hands.
“It’s okay, Masa, I’ve got you,” she said quietly.
“Nothing bad will happen if you leave,” Manami assured him. “I promise, Masa.”
He was crying, his eyes and cheeks red as he tried to catch his breath. He nodded, his jaw clenched as he squeezed Miki’s hands back. Quickly, he ran for the cage door.
Okazaki quickly pulled the door open for him. He hesitated, jerking back before he passed her. He held himself with a tension Miki didn’t recognise.
“Wada Masanari has exited the cage. Fifteen students remain.”
“Wait. Before anything else, we should probably establish a rule. If you leave the cage, you must stay in sight of the remaining students. It’s both dangerous and suspicious to be out on your own while the rest of us are in here. I don’t think it would do anyone any good,” Sasaki said.
Miki’s eye twitched. Yeah, because Sasaki’s rules did them so much good last time around. Especially for her.
Masanari nodded.
“I agree,” he said weakly. He sounded like he was about to pass out. Miki stared, trying to get him to make eye contact with her.
“Airi, what-”
The door squeaked as it opened.
“Chiba Airi has exited the cage. Fourteen students remain.”
“Why would you do that?” Harada asked. Chiba stood with her hands on her hips.
“Because we aren’t going to need the reward,” she said boldly. “I know we won’t. So this is pointless.”
Miki nearly laughed, she was so shocked. She had witnessed Chiba’s steadfast faith last time around with the rope. Chiba trusted everyone around her wholeheartedly, not questioning Tamba’s knowledge of aerial silks, not picking at Sasaki’s plan to ensure her own safety.
Miki had thought it was pure naivety, that she had never even thought to do those things.
But maybe, that trust had been a conscious choice.
Her expression was at once steely and earnest as she had said it.
“Chiba, you can’t know that-” Sasaki began. But Chiba just walked away.
She settled next to Masanari and insisted that they play while the rest of them ‘wasted their time’.
The audacity of it made Miki grin. Chiba really was interesting.
Staring at Sasaki, it gave her an idea.
“Sasaki,” Isono said. Sasaki paled, stiffening as she turned to face Miki. She couldn’t stand the thought of her killer having the sole vote. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair.
Even if the class trial would never happen like Chiba claimed, it still felt wrong.
“Yes?”
Manami gave her a curious look. Miki had avoided being in the same room as Sasaki previously. She never mentioned her, let alone talked to her.
“Leave the cage,” she said sweetly, her face stretching up into a forced smile. Sasaki fidgeted. She pushed her glasses up, and stared at Miki for a second. Her jaw clenched.
“Okay.”
“Sasaki Hitomi has exited the cage. Thirteen students remain.”
“Damn, Isono,” Hiroaki said. “That’s cold.”
“Not now, Nagawa,” Manami said, her voice laced with something resembling anger.
Sometimes, Miki felt like she didn’t know Manami at all. Manami had concern etched all over her face. Her eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, her lips thinned and her entire face seemed tight with tension. She leaned in closer, cupping her mouth as she got close to Miki’s ear.
“Miki, are you okay?” she whispered.
“I’m fine,” she said casually. Chiba cheered. Apparently she had won rock paper scissors again. “I agree with Chiba.”
She said it airily, as if it was obvious. She knew it wasn’t true - if it was, then she wouldn’t have bothered with Sasaki.
“Isono Miki had exited the cage. Twelve students remain.”
But more than anything, she wanted to believe it.
–
Kazutoshi desperately wanted to high five Miki as she left the cage. He held himself back purely because it would look suspicious.
He didn’t hate Sasaki by any means. Maybe he should, but he was almost thankful that someone else snapped before he did.
But he understood how it felt to stand in a cage with your killer. Okazaki was across the cage, lounging near the door with a casualness she did not deserve. He was desperately trying not to focus on her.
He shivered at the thought of her turning her creepy face to look at him.
“Harada Keizou has exited the cage. Eleven students remain.”
“Why’d you do that?” Hama asked, his eyebrows raised.
“I-um,” he stammered, tugging on his backpack straps. “I wouldn’t trust myself with a sole vote anyway. It’s way too much pressure.”
Airi patted the space on the floor next to her and Wada enthusiastically.
At this point, it was common knowledge that Keizou had killed Sawa. Kazutoshi hoped he’d cleaned her up properly. Last time, he and Ken had made an urn for her. He wondered if they should do it again.
“Shouldn’t Ojima be out the cage?” Tamba asked.
“Huh?”
“Why? So you can get your grubby little hands on the reward?” Nakamigawa sneered.
“K-Kazutoshi,” Ken whispered, taking off his jacket. “You’re shivering.” Ken placed it on his shoulders. The thing was way too big for him. It was a comforting weight though, and the high-quality fabric felt nice on his skin.
“No! I just mean, well, he’s not even here half the time, right? He’s not exactly gonna be reliable in a trial. He’d miss something!”
“Thanks,” he muttered, so quietly he wasn’t even sure Ken heard it. The man smiled though.
He always had this cute, uncertain smile on. It would wobble at any provocation, and Kazutoshi loved to make it expand into a grin. Hesitantly, Ken leaned down to whisper something in his ear.
Kazutoshi stiffened, his face flushed. He tried to keep himself calm, breathing deeply. If he passed out simply because of a crush he was going to kill everyone in this room and then himself.
“I’m going to leave the cage,” he whispered. “When I can, I’ll tell you why.”
Kazutoshi nodded. He felt cold inside, a sense of foreboding swimming up his throat. He couldn’t get any words out, but he looked up into Ken’s eyes instead. He seemed earnest.
“If that’s your argument, then maybe you should leave the cage, Tamba! You’re definitely gonna miss something!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means he’s calling you an idiot, because you’re an idiot,” Kazutoshi butted in.
“Hasegawa Ken had exited the cage. Ten students remain.”
“Wait, Hasegawa, why? Aren’t you like, super smart?” Isono asked.
“I-I wouldn’t say that,” he responded. “Besides, I don’t think I could handle the pressure either.”
“Fair enough,” she said with a shrug.
Kazutoshi wondered if he could handle the pressure himself. But then, he couldn’t leave the cage just yet. Not while Okazaki was still in here. If she got it, she’d probably murder a bunch of people just for the shits and giggles.
“What about you, Kamimura?” Okazaki said. Kazutoshi snapped out of his daze.
“What?”
His voice sounded weak even to him. He tried taking deep breaths again, focusing on the jacket on his shoulders. He ran his hands over the inner lining. It was silky and soft, and smelled like it had been freshly washed.
“You pass out all the time, right~?” she asked. She wasn’t getting closer, still leaning on the cage bars. Sweat rolled down the back of his neck. “Who’s to say you wouldn’t miss something vital?”
“Okazaki,” Watari snapped. Kazutoshi blinked. He’d never heard her so angry. Her cheeks were flushed as she glared up at Okazaki.
He opened his mouth to answer. Nothing came out.
“Shut up, Okazaki,” Nakamigawa said. “It’s not like he passes out for long, anyway.”
“Yeah!” Tamba agreed.
Their voices felt somewhat muted. His back hit the wall of the cage. He clung to its bars.
“He can speak for himself, can’t he?” Okazaki continued. She took a step forward and he gasped. The sound surprised him. Tears welled up in his eyes. The blurry white figure was getting closer and there’s nothing he could do-
“Okazaki, stop it!” Watari cried. Red intermingled with the white, pushing the white backwards.
“What’s wrong, Kamimura? Cat got your tongue?”
Kazutoshi sobbed, letting out an anguished cry as the world began to darken.
“Kazutoshi!” someone cried.
–
Watari shoved Okazaki into the side of the cage.
Takeshi caught Kazutoshi, trembling with a scorching anger he struggled to shove down.
“Kazutoshi!”
Ken seemed really upset as he ran towards the cage. His face was wet with tears, and the way he was breathing was too shallow.
“I’m leaving anyway,” Takeshi called back to Nakamigawa. Nagawa nodded, his expression grim. “Don’t start anything,” Takeshi warned.
He didn’t look back to see if the man agreed. Most likely, his words would go unheeded. Not that he could blame him.
“Ojima Takeshi and Kamimura Kazutoshi have exited the cage. Eight students remain.”
Watari had a fistful of Okazaki’s collar and had her pinned to the side of the cage.
“I told you to stop!” Watari yelled. “Why do you never listen to me! You want to be friends, Hanano? You want to be friends?”
“Of course,” she responded.
Masanari had pulled Hasegawa into a hug. Isono was sat cross legged.
“Can I leave him with you?” Takeshi asked, keeping his eyes focused on the conflict in the cage. He couldn’t let Nagawa get injured again. Not like last time.
“Of course,” Isono said, adjusting the boy's head so it was in her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair absentmindedly, her worried gaze sliding over to Hasegawa, who still wasn’t breathing properly.
“Then you can’t do this anymore, Hanano, you can’t!” Watari yelled.
“It’s okay,” Airi said. “Toshi’s okay, look,” she pointed at him. Hasegawa nodded again.
“I was just talking to him,” Okazaki said pleasantly.
Sasaki looked vaguely unsettled by the whole ordeal, her eyes flicking between everyone in the group. Takeshi wondered if she’d figured out what happened. If anyone could, it would be her.
“You and I both know-”
“Watari,” Hama interrupted. She loosened her grip on the girl's coat, stepping back to look at him. “Watari, stop. Just ignore her, okay? She wants the attention.”
Watari threw her head back and let out a frustrated yell.
“Argh, I hate this place!” she dug her nails into her arms as tears spilled over. “Whatever. I can’t do this right now.”
“Watari Nishino has exited the cage. Seven students remain.”
“Maybe,” Tsuno began, pushing her mouth to the side as she thought. “Maybe we should do this democratically.”
“Yeah?” Tamba asked.
Tsuno stood up straighter.
“Yeah! I mean, the worst case scenario is someone getting it who doesn’t have everyone’s best interests at heart, right? So, why don’t we vote on who should have it?”
“You’re just saying that because people will vote for you,” Nagawa said flatly.
Tsuno held her hands up in defence, her eyes wider than usual.
“No, I don’t think that will happen,” she said lightly. “I’m good at first aid but I don’t think that makes me a good candidate for trial stuff. Maybe Hasegawa if he was still in the cage, but I don’t think there’s any clear winners here, right?”
“There’s definitely a clear loser here,” Nakamigawa said smugly. “Can we all agree that Okazaki has absolutely no one’s best interest at heart?”
Everyone began talking over each other. Hitomi stood with a sigh.
“Hey!” she commanded their attention. “Everyone, hands up if you think Okazaki should leave the cage.”
“Aren’t we meant to be voting on who should stay in the cage?” Okazaki questioned.
“You’re an exception,” Hitomi said icily. Takeshi hadn’t forgotten yesterday either. Whatever Okazaki had whispered, it had massively freaked out Hitomi. As curious as he was, he wasn’t sure he could handle learning about anything else Okazaki had done without actually killing her.
Everyone’s hands shot up. Watari was still crying.
“Great. So it’s decided.”
“Kamimura hasn’t voted,” Okazaki said.
“I think we can guess his vote,” Takeshi snapped.
As if he heard his name, his face twitched. He groaned.
“Wha? Ken?” he said, his voice gravelly.
“I’m here, I’m here,” the man said quickly, rushing over to grab Kazutoshi’s hand.
“Wha’s going on?” he murmured.
“We’re voting Okazaki out of the cage. We’re just waiting on your vote.”
Kazutoshi huffed.
“Yeah, get her out,” he said weakly.
Mai stood behind Okazaki, looming over her with every step the woman took. Nakamigawa held the door open for her.
“Okazaki Hanano has exited the cage. Six students remain.”
Takeshi heard her coat ruffle as she sat on the floor. He didn’t turn to look at her.
–
Ran hadn’t expected to still be in the cage. It was only him, Tsuno and Hayashi now.
Hiroaki and Tamba were still bickering as they left the cage.
“Of course Mai deserves it, she’s always looking out for everyone, unlike you!”
“You would say that, wouldn’t you? You, her and Yanagi are a team!”
“It’s called being friends, Nagawa! You should try it!”
“That’s not my name, Rui.”
“Only Toshi can call me that!”
Yanagi had left quietly, giving Hayashi a soft smile as he did. Ran wondered what had happened between them the last time around. He hoped that they had been honest about their feelings, at least. That would be badass.
“Okay, fantastic, so we have three candidates left.”
Hayashi crossed her arms and straightened up. Ran raised his eyebrows. She usually got all stiff like that when she was about to do something reckless.
“Sasaki.”
Sasaki turned to face her, an impatient look on her face.
“Yes?”
“Just to let you know, I’m not leaving the cage, even if I don’t get the votes.”
“You can’t do that!” Nakamigawa yelled. “You can’t just follow the rules only when they suit you!”
Hayashi shrugged.
“Says who? Who’s gonna stop me? You?”
Predictably, Nakamigawa fell back, grumbling and sulking as he clung to Ojima like usual.
“Mai, I really don’t think that’s a good idea-” Tsuno began. She kept talking, but Ran was distracted. Airi was whispering something in Tamba’s ear. The girl nodded enthusiastically and grinned, gesturing for Yanagi to come over. She whispered something to him. They exchanged a mischievous glance.
“I just don’t think it’s very fair,” Tsuno finished.
“Meh, I’m leaving,” Tamba said, getting up to walk to the door.
“Tamba, the rule!” Sasaki yelled. “What if something happens? We won’t know where you are!”
Hayashi froze, her eyes laser focused on Tamba.
“Eh, this place is tiny anyway. You’ll find me. Besides, what could happen?”
“Murder! That’s what!” Sasaki yelled.
“I suppose the rule isn’t a real rule,” Yanagi agreed, sidling over to Tamba’s side.
“Stop it,” Hayashi demanded through gritted teeth. “You aren’t clever.”
Tamba grinned.
“I never said we were.”
Tamba grabbed Yanagi’s arm and hurried out of the room. Her laughter echoed as it got quieter.
“I’m not following them,” Hayashi said resolutely.
“...I didn’t ask,” Ran responded.
“I’m not,” she repeated.
“Well,” Okazaki said. “If they’re going, so am I.”
Sasaki groaned, clutching her head in her hands.
“Isn’t working together fun?” Nakamigawa said lightly. She glared at him.
“Be quiet,” she hissed.
Okazaki closed the door with a neat click.
The auditorium was quiet for a few seconds. Isono and Hasegawa were whispering about something, and Masanari was falling asleep on her shoulder. The poor guy looked completely wiped out after his panic earlier.
Keizou gave him a dorky thumbs up. Ran smiled a little.
“Fuck it,” Hayashi said, yanking the door open.
“Hayashi Mai has exited the cage. Two students remain.”
She stormed out of the room. Ran winced. He wouldn’t want to be Yanagi or Tamba right now. He couldn’t figure out why they did it. At least he could ask Airi what she told Tamba later.
“Shall we do another vote?” Sasaki asked.
“But not everyone’s here,” Masanari pointed out.
“Well, it was their choice to leave and give up their vote,” Sasaki responded with a shrug.
Ran swallowed, his body coiled tight. The last time he was voted for, it was terrifying.
Desperation and helplessness clawed at his stomach, making him feel queasy and on edge. A deep, frosty chill had swallowed his entire being as his classmates had voted, some of them sobbing as they did so.
Betrayal pulsed with every heartbeat as he had clasped his hands together. Nishino had done this to him. She had sentenced him to death, and for what? So only he could go home?
He alone didn’t deserve to go home.
He had killed someone. Just like everyone always said he would. Violent. Out of control. Made to lap up food from the door like a starving dog.
At least back there, there was no possibility of improvement. He could never fail like he did with Nishino.
“Ran, I’m giving it to you regardless,” Tsuno announced.
Her statement was so shocking he was pulled back to himself too suddenly. He felt dizzy and weak in a way that was foreign to him. Kazutoshi narrowed his eyes at the sight of him stumbling a little.
“Why?”
Tsuno looked him in the eye. Her eyes really were pretty. He could tell she would have smile lines there when she was older. It would suit her, he thought.
“You always quietly look after people. You don’t make a show of it, you don’t do it for approval. I can trust you with this vote because of that.”
“And the rest of us don’t get a say?” Sasaki asked, eyebrows raised.
“Yeah, what about democracy?” Nakamigawa said.
Tsuno shrugged, her grin bright.
“Democracy has crumbled,” she said lightly.
“Tsuno Manami has exited the cage. Hama Ran has received the reward. In the event of a class trial, only Hama Ran’s vote will matter.”
Airi ran into the cage and launched herself at him. He scooped her up as they laughed and held her tight.
“You did it! You did it!” she yelled, kicking out her legs in joy. He grinned. Keizou was standing by the cage door. Hama gestured for him to come closer. Timidly, he walked over as Ran positioned Airi on his shoulders.
“Agh!” Keizou yelled in surprise as Ran scooped him up.
“Did you hear I did it?” Ran said, his grin huge. Keizou laughed, open and off guard in a way Ran hadn’t heard from him in a long time.
“I might’ve heard, yeah.”
Notes:
I am SO excited for the next couple of chapters! I hope you're all ready for the motive reprieve!
Chapter 11: Motive Reprieve
Summary:
The students discuss how sensitive information regarding their experiences in the previous killing game. This becomes especially pertinent after Hiroaki reveals a secret to Kamimura.
Notes:
OMG ITS MOTIVE REPRIEVE TIME I'M SO EXCITED YOU'VE NO IDEA.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Woah!” Tamba said, only just keeping herself upright. “Did you just-”
Kazutoshi blinked. She wasn’t here a second ago.
“I teleported you back here, yes,” Monomoko confirmed. “May I have everyone's attention?”
The students fell quiet.
“I have started your motive reprieve. I will inform you when it is about to end. Please take this time to relax and discuss anything that ordinarily cannot be discussed.”
Kazutoshi walked up to Hama, who still had Chiba on his shoulders.
“Hama,” he said by way of greeting. He placed a granola bar in his hands. “Eat.”
“That would be wise,” Monomoko said.
“How is the escape plan coming along?” Sasaki asked. The way she said it made it sound like more of a demand than a question, but Kazutoshi supposed that was par for the course with her.
“It is coming along nicely. My co-workers have different objectives, and aren’t especially fond of each other.”
“So you’re making them fight?” Kazutoshi smiled. He hoped that the psychos running this game were tearing each other apart.
“Yes. I apologise that the games are harder as a result. There is a point of contention within the team concerning the games. Some think they’re pointless, while others obsess over them with a fanaticism that is…strange.”
“Interesting,” Sasaki said quietly.
“We should get you some proper food, Ran,” Harada insisted. “Um, are we allowed to leave?”
“Yes.”
“Wait!” Sasaki called. “I feel like I’m not the only one missing a lot of context here. I understand that a lot happened, and everyone has a lot of feelings about it. I’m uncertain about how to proceed when it comes to sharing information.”
“Why? Shouldn’t we just tell each other everything?” Chiba asked.
Ojima shook his head.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. A lot of what happened…it wasn’t great. I think it will just make us fight more.”
Sasaki hummed.
“That’s an excellent point, Takeshi. If we all suddenly have different dynamics between us or seem to be arguing about something that ‘never happened’, then we’ll be caught. We need to be smart about this.”
Nakamigawa looked like he’d just swallowed a lemon.
“Oh hell no, some stuff has to be said!”
“We should share information on a need-to-know basis then,” Sasaki conceded.
“Good,” Nakamigawa said smugly. “Because I’m literally gonna explode if I can’t get this out.”
“I assure you, you will not,” Monomoko said. Watari snickered. The rabbit has jokes now. Cool.
He didn’t expect Nakamigawa to turn to look at him. He raised his eyebrows. The man seemed to be struggling with something. He looked like he was constipated.
“What?”
“Hasegawa killed Mai!” he blurted out.
Kazutoshi’s first instinct was to laugh. It was absurd to think about. He couldn’t summon up a reaction. He couldn’t even turn to face Ken.
Ken had always been so open with his expressions. If he faced Ken, then he would know for sure whether or not it was true.
“He plotted it for ages, just like Okazaki did with you! He set up a trap for her, tons of traps actually, but this one was-”
“Why the fuck are you telling me this?” Kazutoshi demanded, hot anger flushing through him.
“I-”
“No, Nagawa, what do you expect me to do? It’s obvious that we’re close, I can’t be distant with him now without looking suspicious! Did you tell me this just so I’d feel like shit? What the fuck is your problem?”
“My problem? Your boyfriend is literally a murderer and you’re asking me what my problem is?”
“In case you haven’t noticed, we’re in a killing game!”
“Don’t defend him!” Shigeki interrupted. Mai stepped forward.
“Shige, stop it.”
Shigeki’s face went blank for a second.
“You knew?”
“I mean, I figured,” Mai said. “You never let me be in the same room as him for more than like, two minutes.”
“See, this is the kind of thing we need to avoid!” Sasaki said sternly. “Everyone’s lives are at stake here!”
Without looking up, Kazutoshi grabbed Ken’s shirt sleeve.
“Come with me,” he said quietly.
“You’re just gonna leave with him?” Shigeki shouted. Kazutoshi scowled. He hated the growl that sometimes entered Shigeki’s voice. It was grating.
“Yeah, I am. Fuck off.”
“Wait!” Mai yelled out. “I just want to know. Ken, why?”
Kazutoshi didn’t want to do this here in front of everyone. But slowly, slowly, he looked up. Ken seemed twitchy, holding himself a little too stiffly.
“I-I didn’t feel like any of us deserved to live,” he admitted.
“What.” Sasaki said flatly.
“We-I-we all failed everyone who died. I couldn’t, I just couldn’t do it anymore.”
Ken was crying, his voice was cracking. Kazutoshi felt sick. Turning his gaze down to the floor, he reminded himself to stay calm. He couldn’t faint here.
“Woah woah woah woah,” Nakamigawa interrupted. “What do you mean you couldn’t do it anymore?”
“Oh,” Mai said softly. “You were going to end the game with no survivors, weren’t you?”
Kazutoshi shot up.
“I was going to kill myself after you all died,” he said simply.
“You fucking what?” Kazutoshi yelled.
“What is it with people killing themselves in ways that specifically fuck us all over?” Nakamigawa complained.
He grabbed onto Ken’s shirt sleeve again and pulled. He glanced at Mai, who nodded.
“Right. We’re leaving.”
–
Ken was sitting on Kazutoshi’s bed. He wasn’t sitting all prim and proper like he usually did. Usually he had his legs closed, his hands clasped on his lap. It was adorable.
Now, he sat like his limbs didn’t belong to him. His arms lay haphazardly at his sides. His legs were carelessly splayed open.
Kazutoshi couldn’t stop pacing. Fucking Nagawa. What the fuck was he supposed to do now?
“I-I’m sorry,” Ken said suddenly. His voice sounded thick and guttural. Kazutoshi stopped.
“Just…what the fuck, Ken? You planned that shit?”
“...I did.”
“Why would you do that? How could you be so fucking stupid?”
Ken was usually so animated. He was always squirming as he spoke, as if socialising produced a physical reaction in him. He sat on Kazutoshi’s bed, motionless, seemingly struggling to find the words.
“Ken,” he said, approaching the bed. “Why?”
Ken sobbed.
“Because no one was grieving you, Kazutoshi!” he yelled. “I felt like no one cared, my whole world fell apart and no one gave a fuck!”
Kazutoshi took a step back.
“Ken, I didn’t expect anyone to grieve for me, I don’t care! That’s not good enough!”
“I expect it!” Ken cried. “I expect it, and I care that it didn’t happen! I care!”
“You care so much you fucking killed someone?”
“Yes!” Ken shrieked. “You were tortured to death, Kazutoshi! You think I can just move on from that?”
“I’d think you wouldn’t murder our friend over it!”
“You don’t understand! You were rotting, Kazutoshi!”
He gasped like he’d been punched.
“They left me there?” he said quietly.
“No!” Ken said quickly. “It just…it was part of the game. No power in the med-bay.”
Kazutoshi sank down to the bed. His stomach flipped at the thought. He’d seen how bad bodies can get. How unrecognisable they become.
Could Ken even tell which one was him by the end?
“That’s…holy shit,” he hunched forward. “That’s sick…why would they do that?”
“That’s not even mentioning how I found you,” Ken continued.
Bile climbed up his throat.
“...You were the one to find me?”
Ken nodded, his face pale.
“I-I…Toshi,” he started crying, shoving his head into his hands. Kazutoshi hesitated, hands hovering just above the man's back. “Toshi, she beheaded you. She slashed you open and pulled out your guts. I couldn’t…I can’t stop thinking about it, I just can’t!”
He stared straight ahead at the white wall. To imagine himself in Ken's shoes, walking in and seeing the man he loved headless. He wouldn’t even be able to shut his eyes without seeing the neck, indecent and horrifying in its lifelessness.
“That’s seriously…holy fuck Ken, that’s…”
Ken was shaking, seriously shaking. His breath kept hitching as he inhaled, sobbing openly into his palms.
Kazutoshi wondered who found his head. If it was hidden at all. He wondered who found his tongue. He wondered who cleaned it all up. Looking at Ken, he already knew the answer.
If it had been Ken, would he have done the same? Would the game keep pushing and pushing him until there was nothing left?
Would the resentment grow, cleaning up the blood of the man he loved, picking up his head and retching as he came to accept that he was truly, undeniably gone?
“Ken,” he said sternly, grabbing both of the man’s wrists. Slowly, he pulled Ken’s hands away from his face. He slid onto Ken's lap and hugged him. Ken cried on Kazutoshi’s chest. They clung to each other so tightly it was almost uncomfortable.
“Ken, it’s okay. I don’t know everything that happened, sure. But I know what this game does to people.”
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, it’s not forgivable, it’s not-”
“Ken,” Kazutoshi interrupted. Isono had run her hands through Kazutoshi’s hair earlier. It had felt relaxing, and it reminded him of every time he had playfully ruffled Ken’s hair. Ken had always, always leaned into it with a soft smile on his face. He ran his fingers through Ken’s hair as he shushed him. “We’re okay, I promise. We’re okay. We can talk about it properly when we’re out of here, but I promise, we’re okay.”
“But why?”
“Because if it had been you, I don’t know what I would’ve done,” Kazutoshi confessed.
“I need to apologise to Mai,” Ken said quietly. He sounded exhausted. He slowly leaned back to lay down on the bed, taking Kazutoshi with him.
Usually, he’d complain about being manhandled. But the closeness, right now, was welcome.
“Later,” he said firmly. “Besides, I don’t think she’s that mad. She gave us permission to leave, remember?”
“She did?” Ken asked, his eyes wide with surprise.
“Yeah, didn’t you see her nod?”
Ken huffed.
“I couldn’t look her in the eyes before I killed her, I’m not about to start now.”
Kazutoshi laughed.
“Fair.”
“Want to know something good?” Ken asked. He wriggled closer.
“Sure.”
“During the trial, I hit Okazaki with your chair.”
Kazutoshi snorted.
“Hasegawa!” he said, scandalised, a grin on his face.
“Oh! And Wada stabbed her.”
“...Wada?”
“Yep.”
“You’re so full of shit.”
“I’m not!”
–
Ran lounged in his chair, trying to peek into the kitchen. Keizou insisted on getting some food for him, telling Ran to sit down and ‘rest up’. He didn’t really need to rest, but Airi kept her watchful gaze fixed on him.
“I made some Katsu curry the other night,” Keizou said, poking his head back through the door. “Are you okay with leftovers?”
“Yeah,” Ran said. “But I really could just get up and make food myself.”
“No you can’t!” Airi said with a pout. She looked so adorable sitting there all cross.
“What Chiba says goes,” Keizou added, ducking back into the kitchen.
“He never calls me Airi,” she muttered.
“I think he feels too guilty to call you that,” Ran said.
“Why? It’s not like he killed me.”
She paused for a second.
“...Ran,” she leaned forward, running the side of her pinkie back and forth on the table. “You guys didn’t have to do a trial for me, right?”
God he wished Keizou wasn’t in the other room right now.
“We did,” he said. He inhaled. Sometimes being blunt is better. When there’s nothing to soften the blow, you can take it all in at once. “Keizou was executed, because the rabbit said he was responsible for Sawa.”
She looked faintly sick. Her brows were furrowed and she kept moving her mouth like she was trying not to cry.
“Was it painful?” she asked, her voice cracking.
“...Yes. He was blindfolded, and disorientated. They told him that he would survive if he made it across the room. There were traps everywhere. He got caught in a few of them and well…he ended up hanged.”
Her expression was furious as tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Why?” she yelled. “How is that fair? He didn’t kill me!”
Keizou stood in the doorway with a steaming bowl in his hands. He placed it down in front of Ran with a neat clink.
“I did hang you though,” Keizou said sheepishly.
“What?”
“I-I tried to cover it up. What happened, I mean. I-I hanged you, to hide where Sawa had…”
“Keizou,” Airi said impatiently. Keizou looked up quickly, eyes darting all over her face.
“Why aren’t you angry with me?” he said, his voice hollow with disbelief.
“Do you think I’d ever want you to die like that?”
Keizou looked away.
“...No.”
“Keizou, look at me and say it,” Airi demanded.
He timidly returned her gaze.
“You wouldn’t want that,” he said quietly, as if ashamed.
“I wouldn’t,” she agreed. “And I don’t. You were trying to get through something horrible. I don’t hate you for that.”
“I-okay,” Keizou relented. “I’ll-I’ll try to take that on board.”
“At least Ran survived,” Airi said cheerfully. Ran froze. Then so did Airi. “I-you survived, right?”
Ran slowly shook his head. It took everything, all of his power, to not think about it.
“I-. I killed someone.”
Notes:
I've noticed that both Chiba and Hama have foot in mouth disease. I adore them more for it
Chapter 12: Fallout
Summary:
Despite the groups best efforts, interpersonal dynamics are affected by the events of the first killing game.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Nishino stood just out of sight at the dining room door.
“On purpose?” Harada questioned, his voice tentative.
“No. I didn’t even know I killed her,” he confessed. It sounded like he was crying. Nishino stayed perfectly still. “Watari she- she wanted to kill herself. She-she made me start the fire with this door-trap thing. She made me kill her!”
“Why would she do that?” Chiba asked, her voice thick with emotion.
“She wanted me to go home. Because I’m a good brother or something? I don’t know. I-I just-” he inhaled. “Did she really think that I’d be okay with that? Is that the kind of person she thinks I am? I-I thought she knew me!” A chair screeched as someone got up. “I thought that I knew her!”
Nishino swallowed down bile. She didn’t know what she’d been thinking. It was nothing logical, and it had nothing to do with Hama. To think, she’d done it all without even stopping to consider the impact it would have on him.
She just wanted to go out doing something good for someone. She wanted to absolve her guilt. Every time someone had died, Nishino had messed up somehow. Whether it be not taking the investigations seriously, trampling over others feelings or being stupid enough to trust that Hanano wouldn’t hurt anyone - she was to blame.
She squeezed her eyes shut. Everything felt like too much.
“I don’t think it’s necessarily about what you’d want, to be honest,” Harada said, his voice somewhat muffled. Nishino guessed they were all in one big group hug right now. “I think she wanted you to go free, and didn’t think about how you’d feel.”
“Which isn’t fair!” Chiba exclaimed.
Hama began to sob. Nishino jerked like she’d been hit. She couldn’t stay here, not now. But where did she even begin to go for comfort? She couldn’t go crawling back into Hanano’s coat now, soaking up her warmth and her soothing words.
But maybe she could tug some answers out of her.
She ended up outside of Hanano’s room before she even realised where she was going. The light was on.
“Hanano,” she yelled, pounding on the door with every syllable. “Hanano, you don’t get to hide from me!”
The door clicked as it opened. It was a neat, succinct sound.
“I wasn’t hiding,” she said simply.
“Let me in,” Nishino demanded. Hanano lifted her arm in a welcoming gesture, and locked the door behind Nishino.
Nishino kept her eyes on the floor. Looking at Hanano felt painful. She wondered briefly why she’d even chosen to come here.
“Are you sure you should be here?” she asked. Nishino risked a glance. Hanano was leaning against the door, arms crossed. She looked far too casual for what she had done.
“What?”
“Well, with all you know about me, I’d think you’d be a little more cautious,” Hanano said, like it was a joke.
Nishino reared back, wincing as her back throbbed.
“I thought I could trust you,” she confessed. “I thought - you always did whatever you wanted, so you weren’t a liar. I thought you were genuine, Hanano. I didn’t always agree, but you were always so blunt and upfront about everything.” She took a few steps forward. Hanano’s hand twitched. Nishino used to think that meant she was excited. That she was happy. Fuck knows if she knows anything about Hanano anymore. “But then you-you!”
She had her hands in Hanano’s collar. She didn’t remember grabbing it. The suit quality was smooth, soft and comforting to the touch. Nishino thought that Hanano was the same.
“Nishi-”
“No!” she yelled, tears falling freely. “No. Don’t call me that. When you died, I tried to think of why you did what you did. I tried so hard to think the best of you. I’m still trying.” Her voice cracked as she continued. Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking as they held onto her old friend. “But Kazutoshi, Manami, they’re right here! How do you expect me to look them in the eye and be okay with it? How do you expect me to be okay with any of this?”
She couldn’t stop shaking. She loved the mischief in Hanano, how she moved with flair, how she never apologised for her strange behaviours. She loved that. But her twisted mischief as she showed off Kazutoshi’s tongue, music blaring from Yanagi’s stereo? Her chest physically burned at the sight. Now it was burning again.
“Nishi, I would never hurt you,” Hanano said softly, gently lifting Nishino’s wrists from her collar. She rubbed soothing circles into her hands.
“That’s not enough, Hanano.”
Hanano had revealed her face only once, during the trial. For her stupid supervillain bullshit.
Nishino had always thought that the reveal would happen differently. She had Hanano would be in the staff room, tidying up after a meeting. They’d be the only two there. Hanano would say something funny, and Nishino would double over with laughter.
‘I like your laugh,’ Hanano would say in that straightforward way she always did.
‘I’d love to see yours, someday,’ Nishino would reply. Hanano would lift up her mask, and look her dead in the eye.
‘Tell me something funny.’
No matter what Nishino said, Hanano would laugh. Because it wasn’t about the jokes, or the laughter, or the fun.
It was about them.
Hanano was still moving her thumbs up and down the back of Nishino’s hands. Nishino shivered.
“I don’t understand,” Hanano said.
“I should be the one saying that! I thought you were safe.”
“I am!” she responded, her voice unusually panicked. “I wouldn’t hurt you-”
“But you hurt them!” Nishino cried. “And you enjoyed hurting them, didn’t you? You enjoyed it! Even when I…I didn’t enjoy it. I’m not-”
The grip on her wrists tightened.
“Nishi, what did you do?” her voice was quicker, breathier, less melodic.
Nishino hesitated. She wanted Hanano to know how much she had hurt her, sure. But the words stayed trapped.
“Nishi,” Hanano repeated, releasing her wrists. Nishino was frozen, her wrists staying where they were. She cupped Nishino’s face, using her thumbs to wipe the tears away.
Nishino thought of the refuge she’d found in Hanano’s coat during the cold motive. How she’d relished in that closeness. Hanano sometimes wrapped an arm around her waist to stop her from tripping as they travelled. She’d been so excited, then.
She thought of Kazutoshi’s unconscious body trapped in that coat. She felt sick.
“I killed myself, Hanano.”
Hanano froze. She took a step backwards, her fingers twitching.
“How?”
Nishino missed the warmth of her hands fiercely. An overwhelming chill settled over her. Wrapping her arms around her body, she grit her teeth. She could handle this. She could.
“Fire.”
“Why?” her voice was unusually flat.
“I couldn’t do this anymore, Hanano. After you left…after what you did. I just - I couldn’t cope, okay? Is that what you wanna hear? I care so much about you, but you don’t give a shit about me! If you did, you never would’ve killed them!”
Nishino’s breathing was getting shallower. Frantically, she tried to push Hanano aside. She needed to leave, now.
“Nishi!”
Hanano grabbed hold of her shoulders and pushed her against the door. Nishino gasped at the impact, arching her back away. White hot pain clawed up her spine.
“Argh! Fuck!” she cried, shaking once more. Her back throbbed in time with her rapidly increasing heart rate. “Hanano, I can’t do this, please! Let me leave!”
“You came here,” Hanano said calmly. She lifted up her mask. Her grey eyes met Nishino’s. She wished this was the first time she saw them. She wished that this was the first time she noticed the way Hanano’s lashes looked like they elongated her eyes. Even under the mask, she wore eyeliner at all times.
It was so stupid and dorky and so Hanano that Nishino wanted to cry. Her chest hurt. Hanano leaned in closer, examining Nishino’s face.
“Nishi~” she said, her mischievous tone back like usual. Nishino’s jaw dropped in surprise. She got even closer. Nishino could see the peach fuzz on the girls cheeks.
“What?”
Hanano kissed her. Gently, softly, as if she was something precious. Her lips tasted like the strawberry chapstick Chiba had lent her once. Nishino told her how much she liked it, and that she was going to buy some when they got out of here. Hanano probably stole it.
It lasted barely a second. Hanano pulled away.
“Goodbye, Nishino,” she said softly.
Nishino couldn't help how her eyes welled up. The last go around, this would be everything she ever wanted. Hanano was someone who was always honest and upfront with her, someone who despite that was caring and loving and made her feel safe.
Hanano, who never explicitly offered her protection, would always search the room for Nishino before she relaxed. She would always loom over Nishino’s shoulder whenever she got into arguments with people. Every night, she’d walk Nishino back to her room. Every morning, she’d knock and wish her good morning.
For the first time in her life, Nishino felt cared for.
“Goodbye,” she said, and left the room.
–
“Hi-to-mi!” Nakamigawa called. Hitomi barely held back a sigh. She tried to keep herself calm. Attention is all he wants, she reminded herself. “You’re avoiding me,” he announced, saying it like it was some grand discovery.
“I’m avoiding everyone.”
“Why?~”
“None of your business.”
It really wasn’t a huge reason. She just figured that the less information she knows about people, the better. She wasn’t the best actor, and she wasn’t sure she could keep things quiet if something especially outrageous got revealed.
She already knew she was going to be more hesitant around Hasegawa.
But Nakamigawa didn’t really need to know that. If the information wasn’t needed, there’s no point in giving it, she reminded herself.
“How's your back?” he pivoted. She clenched her jaw. It made her mad that she had an injury that she couldn’t realistically handle on her own. She didn’t want to risk infection for no reason. “Let me guess, you’ve no idea?”
“Be quiet,” she hissed.
“Y’know, I could check for you.”
She glared at him, hard. She walked up to him and jabbed a finger on his chest.
“If you think you can try to-”
He put his hands up with a pathetic squeak.
“Relax! I’m gay, okay? I’m not gonna be weird about it.”
Hitomi huffed.
“Good, because if you did-”
“You’d what? Hit me over the head with a pan?”
“That’s!-” she took a breath. “That’s not your thing to joke about. Joke about your own death.”
“You think I died?” he yelled, outraged.
She paused for a second, looking at him with raised eyebrows.
“You’re telling me no one snapped and killed you for always talking like you do?”
His face turned red.
“People love me!”
“Wow, I'm genuinely surprised,” she said, a sly smile climbing up her face. It was kind of nice not being the only one getting insulted in his attempts at conversation.
“Well,” he began, his voice a little meek. “Yanagi did beat the shit out of me, but that was totally your fault.”
She gave him a blank look.
“I was dead. How is it my fault?”
“He got mad at me for reading YOUR diary!”
She sighed loudly.
“Then it sounds like it was YOUR fault, Hiroaki.”
“Seriously, you’re last naming me right now?”
“Sorry. I didn’t realise we were familiar with each other. I definitely didn’t realise we were familiar enough for you to be reading my diary,” she said coldly.
What motivation could he possibly have for reading it? She tried to keep her shoulders from tensing at the thought. If she acted like it didn’t affect her, then maybe he’d leave her alone.
“You wanted it published!”
She froze. She ran her eyes up and down his face. He seemed oddly genuine.
“And you aren’t a publisher,” she said airily, turning away from him. She tried to stop her heart from beating so fast. Being known like this was terrifying in a way she couldn’t articulate. “Well,” she said briskly. “I’m glad I didn’t turn him down, then. It sounds like he got you pretty bad if you’re this mad about it.”
“I don’t think he would’ve hurt you,” he said, placing emphasis on the last word. “You were his ‘fair dahlia’, right?”
She laughed. It came out more bitter than she would’ve liked. She squeezed the fabric of her skirt.
“Yeah, I’ve heard enough of that to know it’s fake.”
“You thought he’d hurt you?” Hiroaki asked, his voice softer than usual. She sighed, struggling with her words for a second. She turned around to face him again.
“Listen. You might think you know people, but you don’t. People don’t even know themselves. Even if you think you wouldn’t do something, you have no idea what you’d do when you’re pushed.”
She thinks about the classroom floor, frigid and unforgiving on her knees. He didn’t like it when she cried because it made him feel like he was in the wrong.
It didn’t matter that he was. She’d always tried to focus on the classroom floor.
Sometimes it was dirty, when lazy students had been given cleanup duty. She should really have told them off, but looking at the tiny lumps of dust gathered in the corners of the room gave her some comfort. She’d count them, near obsessively, until it was over.
“I don’t know what you’re getting at,” he said.
“What I’m saying,” Hitomi continued, “is that you can’t trust people. People always want something. That’s just a fact.”
Hell, the only reason she’d even talked to a counsellor about what happened is that the counsellor was contractually obligated to not use the information against her.
“What do you think I want?”
“Entertainment, probably. You’re bored, and you like attention.”
“Maybe,” he said gently. “But maybe I just want to know you better.”
She crossed her arms and laughed. Yeah, right.
“You expect me to believe that?”
Nakamigawa seemed sad as he stared at her.
“What?” she snapped.
“Do you really not trust anyone?”
“I-,” she paused. “No. No I don’t.”
“What about when you have to rely on people? What then?”
She thought about Takeshi gently pulling her hair away from her back. How he’d asked each and every time before touching her. He hadn’t asked and then done it anyway.
He waited for an answer.
Was that trust? Or purely something done by necessity?
“I don’t usually need to,” she said slowly.
“Mm. Sounds miserable.”
“Okay, what is with you?” she cried. It came out harsher than she meant it to. She tried to soften her voice as she continued. “You’re different this time around. Why?”
He grinned.
“Why should I tell you, Miss ‘None of your Business?’”
Hitomi caught herself just before a fond smile lifted her cheeks. Fond? With Nakamigawa?
This killing game was messing with her head.
“You don’t. But you’re bored and you love talking about yourself, so I think you will anyway.”
“Fine,” he drawled. “I just - I don’t like how I was last time. Leading is…difficult. This whole thing is difficult. I didn’t make it easier on anyone, and I don’t like that. After you died, I realised I didn’t really know you like I thought I did. I made a lot of assumptions about you. When I read your diary it cleared some things up for me. We’re more alike than I thought.”
“Please, how are we in any way alike?”
“I-I can’t get the words out right now,” he admitted.
She softened in spite of herself.
“That’s fine,” she said primly. He lit up.
“You like me!” he exclaimed, like it had just dawned on him.
She flushed.
“No I don’t!”
Dang, her voice came out higher than usual. He laughed boisterously.
“Yes you do!~” he looked so smug she almost considered calling Yanagi over to finish the job. “We’re friends now, Hitomi.”
“How many times am I gonna have to tell you to stop-”
“Calling you that, yeah yeah. Not gonna happen.”
His grin showed off his pearly white teeth. Not a tooth was out of place, all lined up next to each other perfectly. She rolled her eyes fondly.
She knew rich kids were weird, but this one takes the cake.
Notes:
What's worse than a breakup? A homoerotic friendship breakup! I saw someone say their ship name is firefox which is such an adorable name for such a heart-breaking relationship.
Also Hitomi and Nakamigawa my loves, every scene I write with them in it practically writes itself.
Chapter 13: No Peripherals
Summary:
The students attempt to comfort each other.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Kazutoshi and Ken found Nishino sobbing in the hallway. She had sunk down to the floor, her knees pulled up against her chest and her hands were clamped tightly over her mouth.
“W-Watari?” Ken called hesitantly. Their slow approach felt almost comical, like they were trying to pet a timid cat.
“Go away!” she yelled, sobbing even harder. “I don’t wanna see you right now!”
Kazutoshi glared at the floor before he slid down next to her. Couldn’t anyone have a breakdown on furniture anymore? Why was it always the floor? They could at least have some decorum.
Pushing his feelings of disgust aside, he watched as Ken sat in front of Watari. He handed her a tissue.
She blew her nose loudly and then cried even harder.
“Watari, what’s wrong?” Ken asked, his voice hushed.
“Hanan-Okazaki, I-” she clammed up, squeezing her hands tighter around her face.
“You tried to reach out to me last time,” Ken said. Watari nodded frantically. “I-I was really mad at you then.”
She flinched.
“I’m really sorry for that, Watari. You were right. We both lost someone. I’m sure there were reasons that you two were always together. I’m sure she was good to you. Somewhere back there, I forgot that. I could only picture what she had done to Kazutoshi.”
Ken quickly glanced at him. Kazutoshi nodded in approval. Nishino needed this. He felt useless, unable to say anything. He had no idea what happened after he died. He had no idea what happened to Nishino.
By the state of her, he wasn’t sure if she had survived.
“I-,” she began. Her voice was raspy in a way that reminded Kazutoshi of when he came to after passing out. She sounded wrecked. “I don’t know who she is anymore, Ken. She’s so gentle one second and then the next-”
Kazutoshi frowned.
“Did she hurt you?” Ken asked quickly, his eyes remaining locked on hers. Kazutoshi flicked his eyes up and down her body, his brows furrowed as he tried to find an injury of some kind. He could faintly smell blood.
“No-I,” Watari sighed. “She would never hurt me.”
“Don’t say that,” Kazutoshi snapped. “Nishino, you can’t trust her when she says that.”
“Right,” she said lightly. “Yeah.”
“How about we go get something warm to drink?” Ken proposed, reaching out his hand for her. Her smile was watery as she took it. She seemed to mostly haul herself up, not quite trusting in Ken’s strength.
It almost made Kazutoshi snicker.
She hissed as she straightened, her hands making an aborted movement towards her back.
“Watari,” Kazutoshi warned.
“‘Toshi,” she said pleasantly.
“She hurt you,” he said simply.
“I-no!” she seemed to forcibly lower her arms down to her sides, trying to seem casual about the painful movement.
“I-I’m sorry, but if she hurt you then maybe we should get Manami?” Ken suggested, not looking her in the eye.
“She didn’t!” she protested, pouting a little. Her eyes were still watering.
“Then take off your coat,” Kazutoshi said casually. “You’ve got nothing to hide, right?”
“I-” she hesitated. “It wasn’t on purpose.”
“I’m sure,” Kazutoshi seethed. For some reason, he hadn’t actually considered that Okazaki would hurt her dearest friend until now. Nishino was just…so likable. It made the possibility of people hurting her seem far away, the thought only ringing out like a brief echo in a long hallway.
“It wasn’t! She shoved me against the wall and we uhhhh…we talked.”
Kazutoshi raised his eyebrows.
“Talked. Uh huh. Very convincing.”
Ken had his concentrated face on. His eyes were focused, his eyebrows furrowing for just a second as he found the answer he was looking for.
“Oh,” he said softly.
“What is it?” Kazutoshi asked.
“Um,” Ken turned red, the flush on his cheeks spreading to cross his nose. Kazutoshi tried not to get distracted by how cute that was.
“Ken, don’t,” Watari warned.
“How long have you two?...” he trailed off.
“It’s not like that!”
“What, are they fucking or something?” Kazutoshi said bluntly.
“Kazutoshi!” Ken complained, his face somehow getting even more red.
“No!” Watari exclaimed. “Listen, when time stops being paused my back will probably be fixed anyway, or it’d be suspicious. It’s fine. I’m fine. Let’s move on, please.”
–
Masanari was surprised to see Manami holding up a folded piece of paper between her fingers. Not because of the paper itself, but because he recognised the handwriting.
Hasegawa’s handwriting.
“You stole it?” Miki asked, her eyes wide.
“Stealing is…a strong word,” Manami said lightly. “When the reprieve ends I’m sure it’ll end up back in his pocket.” She shrugged. “I just wanted to see what he’s been writing about.”
Miki draped her arms over Masanari’s shoulders as Manami unfolded the paper. Masanari relaxed into the touch. It was so nice, having Miki back, even if she seemed a little different this time around.
She seemed more anxious, freezing every time she entered a new room for just a second. He’d watched her eyes climb all over whatever room they stepped in during that second. If he asked if she was alright, she would immediately say yes, without even thinking about it.
A moment later, she’d come back to herself. He couldn’t really blame her for being scared, he supposed.
Not when he was still actively avoiding Okazaki.
He was thankful Manami didn’t know who killed her. Imagining the terror she would feel, trapped in here with her, always scanning Okazaki for some indication that it would happen again?
No. It was better that she didn’t know.
Masanari blinked. He hadn’t realised he’d zoned out.
His name was the first on the list.
“Are you kidding?” he seethed. “I’m ‘basically a goner’?”
Manami sucked in a breath.
“Ouch. First Sasaki and now this? I feel like you should stop reading stuff with your name on it, Masa.”
Miki’s arms tightened around his shoulders.
“Sasaki did something?” she asked, her tone a touch too pleasant.
“Oh, during the investigation, after you um…”
“After I died,” she interrupted, waving her hand impatiently.
“Right! Well, we found Sasaki’s notes on us all. Mine was nice actually but uhm…”
“She called me wallpaper,” Masanari said through gritted teeth.
“Huh?! What’s that supposed to mean?” Miki demanded.
“That I’m boring and irrelevant,” he summarised.
Miki winced.
“Ouch. She’s never one to mince her words, huh. Even when she’s wrong.”
Masanari smiled. She’d said it so casually, like it was just a universal truth. Sasaki was wrong about him, the sky is blue, water is wet. The faith she had in him made him nauseatingly giddy. He hoped that faith wasn’t blind.
“Huh. Hasegawa put himself as a victim,” Manami muttered.
Masanari hummed. He wasn’t sure how he felt about Ken anymore. On one hand, he tried to murder them all, yes. He had murdered Mai, someone who held the group together when no one else could.
But on the other hand, Masanari saw his own hopelessness in Ken’s gaze after Kazutoshi had died. If Masanari had the bravery and the wits to pull off the same thing, he couldn’t say he wouldn’t have.
He remembered desperately shaking the flashlight, his arm aching as he did it. He had felt worse than he did on adrenaline.
He had made Ken lose an eye, and said nothing about it.
At the start of this game, he never thought he would do something like that. He was cowardly, sure, but he wasn’t that bad.
This game had pushed everyone to their limits. The proof was right in front of him.
Ken had firmly believed that he wasn’t a killer. Masanari believed that about himself, too. Somewhere, there was the subconscious assumption that he was above that.
But, if he was being honest, saying he was above that with anything close to certainty felt heartbreakingly naive.
–
“Alright, what the hell were you two doing during Cage Game?” Mai demanded.
“I thought it was fairly obvious, no?” Shigeki said. He had that look on his face that made Mai want to fluster him beyond belief. She wanted to see that smug smile turn into flushed surprise as she scooped him up. She closed her eyes for a long second and exhaled. Focus.
“Yeah, you weren’t exactly subtle but why did you do that?”
Ruiko placed a hand on her hip and grinned. Mai mourned the fact that she had nothing to shut up Ruiko. That would’ve been incredibly handy last time. The girl sometimes reminded her of one of those small yappy dogs that got into fights with exclusively huge dogs.
She made protecting her one hell of a challenge.
“Making enemies in a killing game is a bad idea, remember?” Ruiko said, her grin growing even bigger.
“You’re enjoying this way too much,” Mai said flatly.
“She does have a point, Mai,” Shigeki chimed in.
“I miss when you were too scared to argue with me.”
“Ugh, don’t flirt right in front of me,” Ruiko whined.
“I-I’m not!-” Mai felt her face heat up.
“Uh huh,” Ruiko nodded. “Anyway, me and Shigeki have already decided. This time around, we’re protecting you.”
Mai laughed.
“You? Protect me?” she said, looming over them.
“Uh huh,” she confirmed, crossing her arms.
“We didn’t do enough for you last time,” Shigeki confessed, his voice breathy. It sounded like he was about to cry.
“I don’t want to think or talk about my death right now,” she said brusquely. “When we get out, sure, but not while we’re in here. I just…”
She looked at both of them, really looked at them. Shigeki had his whole attention kept solely on her, watching her with an adoration she couldn’t understand. Ruiko had a steely look in her eye, but she couldn’t hide how she was feeling. The girl was an open book. She had her lips pushed out a little, a surefire sign that she was trying not to cry.
“I just want to spend some time with you both where I don’t have to watch my words for once.”
–
Nishino was nursing her drink when the rabbit teleported them back to the auditorium without warning. Nishino yelped, and clung onto the nearest support.
Which happened to be Hanano’s coat. She jerked away.
“The motive reprieve is coming to an end. I will be ensuring that everything looks like it is back to normal when I end this reprieve. I would appreciate it if you all proceeded with your daily activities like usual.”
“Monomoko, wait-!” Sasaki started.
“I cannot.”
Notes:
I adore Watari and yet I put her through so much - both me and Okazaki, probably
Also writing Hayashi or Yanagi's POV without them flirting with each other? Impossible challenge, it cannot be done.
Chapter 14: Offering up Twigs to Replace a Tree
Summary:
The students receive their rewards, and they start thinking about home.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Keizou was starting to get sick of the sight of Monomoko. They’d been around it practically all day.
And yet, it called them back into the auditorium. Again.
It freaked him out a little that the huge cage was already gone. He had no idea how they moved it.
At the very least, the boxes laid out on the table were familiar. Their rewards. Keizou raced to pick up his own box. It was the box the necklace came in, thin, black and cushioned on the inside. Every night, he placed it back as though it was brand new. Yukino, whenever she stayed over, got a soft look on her face in the morning when she saw him carefully lift it out of the box.
It suited her, that striking gentleness. Borne of a deep understanding of the people around her and what they were going through, borne of her own developing confidence in her own identity as a person, it was breathtakingly enchanting.
He opened the locket with a click, and couldn’t help it. Last time, it had only been a few days away from her, albeit stressful ones. This time, he felt like he had lived a lifetime without her. In a technical way, he supposed he had. He wasn’t the same person he was when he came here. He cried silently.
A large hand reached over his shoulder. Keizou yelped.
“Oh, sorry,” Ran apologised. Keizou had to look straight up at him. Ran and Hayashi were truly, ridiculously tall.
“Sorry, I didn’t notice you,” Keizou said sheepishly.
“Yeah, you’ve been standing there all zoned out like Ojima. You alright?”
“Yeah,” Keizou looked down at the necklace and held it tighter. “Just thinking about Yukino.”
“She’s pretty.”
Keizou smiled and put the chain around his neck. The cool metal soothed his skin.
“She’s more than that. She’s everything I want to be.”
“Yeah?”
He nodded. He opened his mouth, and then faltered. It was hard to think about himself, sometimes.
“She…in the same year as me, did so much good. I spent a year being awful. Really awful, Ran. I really messed with people.”
“You were a bully or something?”
“Yeah. Or something.” he sighed. “I thought if I joined the people who bullied me, it would stop. But being on the other side, it…it’s something I’ll always regret. The point is, in that same year when I was doing all of that, she was finding herself. She figured out that she’s a woman, that she struggles with anxiety and that she wants to help animals. She came out, got on medication and started volunteering at a shelter. Immediately. Just like that. She knows herself, Ran.”
“That’s pretty cool,” Ran said.
“It is. She didn’t just know herself, but she did something with that knowledge. I just…she’s so brave, so smart, she’s so, so admirable.”
“It’s good to have a partner you can admire.”
Keizou’s smile drooped a little.
“Yeah. I don’t know what I’m gonna tell her when we get out of here, though,” he said, giving Ran a meaningful look. He couldn’t lie to her. Not her.
But explaining time travel? That he killed Sawa? That he hanged a girl, but she’s totally fine now?
Approaching all that left him at a complete loss. Ran reached out slowly and squeezed his shoulder. Keizou leaned into the warm touch. It contrasted nicely with the cool metal around his neck.
“Me and Airi will be there to help you.”
–
When Nakamigawa saw the boxes on the table, he nearly ran out of the room. It was so unfair that everyone's rewards brought them comfort when his made him feel like shit.
Someone running the game didn’t like him, that much was obvious. Hitomi snatched up her notebook from the table, giving him a quick glare before turning away. He hadn’t missed how her lips had twitched upwards.
Yeah, they were definitely friends.
He stopped by the stairs. The gate at the top was firmly shut. He wishes he could lock his reward behind it, out of his view and reach.
Harada rounded the corner with a dreamy look on his face. Nakamigawa shot up. He needed something to take his mind off the tin that weighed down his pocket.
“Hey,” Nakamigawa greeted. “Animal guy.”
“I know you know my name,” Harada said lightly.
“Yeah, yeah,” he waved him off. “I have questions.”
He thought about Sasaki’s fish. She had gone into great detail about them. Her description entranced him as much as the fish entranced her.
‘The tetras zip back and forth, and I wonder if they are as dazzled with each other as we are with them. Their shimmering blue scales glisten as they wiggle around the tank. The patch of neon red scales always catch the eye, drawing you into the way they move in solid, fluid motions.
Maybe that enchanting appearance is their recompense, a consolation prize as they circle the same perimeter indefinitely.’
“Um, what about?” the man shifted uncomfortably, his right hand coming to rest at the back of his neck.
“Animals, what else?”
“Right, but, uhm…what about them?”
“I-” Nakamigawa paused. “Is it something you want to do, like, forever?”
“Well, yeah,” he said earnestly. “One day, I’d like to open up my own rescue centre with my girlfriend. It’s pretty ambitious but it’s something I like to think about sometimes.”
It was strange. He’d seen Harada at his lowest, sobbing at his podium, crying out for Hama in a way that was so vulnerable and intimate his chest ached to remember it.
And yet, he hadn’t known about his dream, about his girlfriend, or his life. It felt almost superficial to take those steps backwards, to establish such basic facts about a person.
“Do you feel that way about designing? You’re well known for it,” Harada replied.
“I’m well known for a reason,” he said smugly. “Fashion design is something I always want to do. I feel…I feel most like myself when I’m designing.”
Harada pushed a strand of hair out of his face. His smile was wistful.
“Yeah, I get that. I feel most like, I don’t know, the person I want to be? When I’m working with animals I mean.”
“Its nice being talented.”
Harada flushed, and waved away his statement.
“I wouldn’t say I’m talented, just-”
“Dude. You're seventeen and got trusted with a tiger. A tiger.”
“I guess,” he said meekly, looking away. Nakamigawa groaned. Sometimes it felt like no one in this building had any confidence.
“It feels so weird to not be able to really work on anything.”
“Yeah,” Harada agreed.
“When we get out of here, the first thing I’m doing is making you a better outfit. No, wait, actually it’s probably the fifth thing I’m doing. Wada needs a better outfit way more than you, so he’s gotta be the first.”
Harada chuckled, hiding his mouth with his hand.
“His clothes are a little…old looking.”
“They’re hideous is what they are! They say nothing about him!”
–
Kazutoshi had picked up his reward, looked ill and then told Ken he was going to the med-bay.
‘Don’t follow me,’ he’d said.
Ken felt a little silly, standing in the hallway to their rooms. He didn’t want to move.
His vision blurred as he stared down at the clip. It was so fragile. He could bend and snap it in an instant.
Last time around, he was going to forsake everything. His Mum, Mao, Reina's memory. Would he have felt the same during his execution? Or would he have been too blinded by pain and grief, hyper focused on it until the very last second?
“That doesn’t seem like your style,” Isono said lightly, gesturing to the clip. He hummed, his lips twitching upwards into a flash of a smile.
“No,” he agreed. “It’s my sisters.”
“The one who died?”
He nodded. They were silent for a second.
“I’m not a very good sister,” Isono said suddenly. “I regret that.”
“Your confession,” he murmured. “It…it was about her.”
“Yeah,” she said, clutching her hoodie as she spoke. “I’ve already told Kazutoshi this. I uhm…I have agoraphobia.”
“O-oh. I’m sorry.”
She grinned and put her hands up, waving off the apology. Her expression seemed taut.
“It’s fine. It’s just…my sister is a little, well, pushy.”
He laughed a little.
“Tell me about it. I have an older sister, Mao. She’s pushy too.”
“Maybe it’s an older sister thing.”
“Maybe,” he said thoughtfully. “I think with Mao it’s different though. She feels responsible for what happened.”
“With your little sister?”
He nodded, and fiddled with the clip.
“She was supposed to be watching us. We were all just playing outside and it just…it was all so fast. A car hit her.”
“I’m sorry, Ken. That’s horrifying.”
“Yeah.” He shook his head, as if to chase the melancholy away. “My point is, I think Mao is pushy because she wants to make up for it somehow. She cares about me.”
“I think my sister is the same. I know she’s just trying to help because she cares. She cares so much. I just - I’m just not fixable like that though. If it was that easy, wouldn’t I have already done it?”
“She tried to force you outside?”
Isono nodded, digging her nails into her forearms again.
“I just,” she began. She took a deep breath. “I just reacted.”
“I’m sorry, Isono,” he said, as genuinely as he could. He couldn’t imagine how he’d cope if his Mum and Mao just tried to force him to face the crowd awaiting him after every show. If they had insisted on him completing personal interviews, saying how much it would help.
Forced proximity to phobias and exposure therapy were distinctly different in how one of them possessed a startling lack of agency. He firmly believed that the person with the phobia must be willing before the phobia can be tackled.
He couldn’t blame Isono’s sister for not knowing all of that, but he could understand Isono’s frustration. Sometimes, it felt like something was horribly wrong with him. Everyone else functioned just fine, but he couldn’t.
There were no physical ailments holding him back, just himself. It was frustrating that no one else understood how hopeless that made him feel.
“We’re both very sorry today, aren’t we?” she said with a small smile. He supposed Kazutoshi and Isono both knew how that felt.
“I’m always sorry,” he replied. She giggled.
“Yeah, that seems about right.”
–
Hitomi locked her journal away in her room before coming to the kitchen. She couldn’t look at it right now. It would feel strange to read her works and know that Nakamigawa had also read them. She wondered what he thought of it.
Tamba was vigorously scrubbing a glass when she came in. Hitomi shuffled over to the cupboards and rooted through them until she found her favourite tea.
“We don’t talk much, do we?” Tamba asked, holding a glass under the soapy water. Hitomi looked over. Tamba was looking down with an expression that was too intense for just doing dishes.
“No. I suppose we have something in common though.”
“Yeah?” she looked up.
“We’re both pretty disciplined, right? You don’t end up at the Olympics without discipline, at least.”
Tamba ran the sponge around the edges of the glass absentmindedly.
“I don’t know. My parents were the ones with all the discipline. I didn’t really…I didn’t really make any decisions.”
Sasaki frowned.
“There must’ve been a lot of pressure.”
Tamba shoved the glass back under the water with more force than was necessary.
“There is! It was like, every single second of the day. What I ate, how much I slept, how much free time I was allowed…it was all so…” she trailed off. “Yeah. It was a lot.”
“Do you enjoy it at least?”
“I didn’t know,” Tamba admitted. “I mean, not until recently.” She wiped her hands dry and lifted herself up onto the counter. Ordinarily, Hitomi would reprimand her. “It’s weird. It’s like, my whole life, and I didn’t even know how I felt about it until a couple of days ago.”
“I think it’s normal to not know yourself, at our age,” Hitomi replied.
“But like, not at all?”
“Did you think you were going to hurt that girl?” Hitomi cringed the second it came out of her mouth. She was trying to be less blunt. Tamba’s mouth fell open.
“I-No!” she snapped. “Obviously not, I’m not some kind of psycho!”
Hitomi kept her face carefully blank. She sat primly in one of the chairs left next to the counter.
“We don’t know what we’ll do until we’re pushed, Tamba.”
Tamba went quiet for a second. She swung her legs out and then kept them straight in the air, staring at her trainers. They were pretty scruffy looking.
“Is that what you tell yourself?”
Hitomi froze. Sometimes, when she’s falling asleep, she sees Isono’s face. She had been a little shy in the kitchen, hesitantly smiling when Hitomi said she could stay while she cooked.
She had brightened when Hitomi got closer. Her thoughts were obvious as they flashed across her face. She was pleased that Hitomi wanted to be friends.
She had been confused, looking at the pan with wide eyes. When Hitomi raised her arm, Isono’s jaw dropped in dawning horror. She had been pale, shrinking in on herself with hands that were just beginning to rise in her own defence.
She didn’t get them up in time to protect her head. Hitomi had permanently beaten away any expression that Isono could ever have.
She slowly, slowly, inhaled.
“Yes,” she murmured. “Yes, I guess that is what I tell myself.”
Tamba stared at her. Hitomi couldn’t return her gaze, not now. She squeezed the edges of the chair she was sitting in until her knuckles went white. Then, she loosened her grip. Then, she repeated the process.
Tamba kicked her legs out and jumped down with grace. Slinking over to Hitomi, she came to a stop right in front of her.
“Sasaki.”
Hitomi looked up. Tamba also wore her every expression openly. Remorse tugged down her eyebrows. It made her movements desperate, closed off as she wrapped an arm around her chest.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
Hitomi exhaled.
“It’s fine if you did, Tamba.”
“No, it’s!-” she sighed, and took the seat next to her. “I can’t keep lashing out at every little thing. I just hate what I did to her.”
“The gymnast?”
“Yeah. Without your legs you’re just, so trapped,” she said forlornly. “I mean, career wise!” she blabbed.
Hitomi took a second to process the new information. Last time around, Tamba ended up without working legs in some way.
She hoped it wasn’t a part of one of the games. It was worrying, seeing as the games this time around were only going to get worse.
“From what you’ve told me, you’ve always felt trapped, Tamba.”
Tamba pulled her top away from her skin, once, twice, as if she were fanning herself with it.
“Can I tell you something?” she asked, finally letting go of her top. It was too tight to do any good fanning her anyway. Hitomi nodded. “I just need to tell someone else this. I mentioned it to a friend, once, and it really freaked them out. I don’t really know what I want out of saying it again.”
“That’s fine,” Hitomi said simply. “Sometimes just sounding things out is helpful.”
That’s what the counsellor had said, anyway.
“I tried to quit, once,” Tamba said quickly. It was so quick all the words melded into each other. Hitomi had to take a second to sort between them. “My parents got mad. Like, really, really mad. I get why, they’ve done so much to get me where I am. But my dad, I…my neck hurts just thinking about it.”
“He strangled you?” Hitomi cried. “Tamba, that’s not okay.”
“I-I mean yeah, it wasn’t great. But it only happened once.”
“You disobeyed them once. He strangled you once.” Tamba’s jaw clenched as she turned away.
If she had to guess, Tamba injured that girl after she had been strangled. She kept her jaw squeezed shut. As much as she wanted to confirm that timeline, she knew that pushing this further wasn’t going to be helpful.
She should always be focused on the results, if she wants to be helpful.
“Maybe you should focus on the decisions you have made,” Hitomi suggested. “It could help you feel more in control.”
“Ummm,” Tamba took a second, tilting her head to the side. “The only thing I can think of is that I named my guinea pigs. My dad got me them, I think as an apology? I named them both Jugemu to make him mad, I guess. Does it count if I made a decision just to make someone mad?”
Hitomi took a second.
“I think it does. I stayed on the student council even after what happened out of spite. I was so angry, I wanted to make him unable to ignore me and what he did to me. He never liked feeling like he’d done something wrong.”
It was the most Hitomi had ever said about it to someone who wasn’t the counsellor.
“He did, though!” Tamba insisted, her frown deepening. “I don’t get how he could do that and not think he’s doing something wrong.”
“Yeah. I don’t understand him either. It’s…frustrating to not understand. I don’t know why he did what he did.”
“Sasaki,” Tamba said softly. She reached out, her hand hovering just over Hitomi’s. Hitomi stared at it. After a second, Tamba pulled her hand back, resting it next to Hitomi’s on the countertop. “It’s not your fault.”
“I-”
“I promise.”
She said it so earnestly, with such intense honesty on her face that Hitomi wanted to look away. She opened her mouth before she could think better of it.
“I’d have to report to him during council meetings. He’d insist on me being the one to tell him everything. It felt so,” she shivered. “So demeaning.”
“Couldn’t your council friends help you with that?”
“Why would they?”
Tamba pushed her lips out into a pout.
“Why wouldn’t they? They’re pretty bad friends if they don’t.”
“I-oh,” Hitomi inhaled. “Tamba, I haven’t told them.”
“Why? They could help you, couldn’t they?”
She tried to imagine it. Yoshimi would lose her mind - she’d probably jump over the table at a meeting and get herself expelled. Tomoko was already poking her nose into Hitomi’s business. She’d find the odd bruise or flinch from Hitomi and narrow her eyes, watching the girl for the rest of the day.
Tomoko’s anger was slow, dripping in tiny, controlled amounts. But it didn’t make her any less volatile.
Anri was an open book. When she knew, the rest would know. It’s not something Hitomi could risk.
“Well, if they know, then they still have to see him everyday. They’re…passionate. I don’t know if they could handle keeping it under wraps.”
“Why should they?” Tamba cried. “Shouldn’t he be fired?”
Hitomi sighed.
“If that was possible, do you not think I would have ensured that already?”
She remembered how he had made a show of typing in his password every time he logged in. It had felt like another power play, inviting her to access restricted information since she couldn’t do anything with it anyway.
It had been as she had predicted. The mouse scroller occasionally clicked as she scrolled through the student records, resisting her touch.
She found it. Every student he had previously had ‘meetings’ with were bookmarked. He wanted her to find their profiles.
They were no longer in school. Not a single one of them.
She didn’t know why he hadn’t gotten her expelled yet. She didn’t know why he started, or why he stopped, or why he was immune to getting fired. If she thought about it for too long, it felt like she was going to lose her mind.
“That’s messed up.”
“Yeah.”
All she could do is not make him mad. If she didn’t understand what he would do, then she had to develop a routine to keep his behaviour patterns regular. The last thing she was going to do is compromise her future for him.
She wasn’t going to be like the others. She was going to get out of this with an education.
Before entering the killing game, that was her one goal; the end result she desperately needed to attain. Not even this game would stop her.
Notes:
Sasaki and Tamba I LOVE them omg. They're both assholes AND they're both trying so hard to be better people I ADORE them.
Also my uploads may be a bit less regular as things get busier for me. Hopefully I can get back to daily uploads soon because this is SO much fun!
Chapter 15: Trust Fall
Summary:
Students continue to open up about their lives prior to the killing game
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The photo was so delicate he couldn’t put it in his pocket. It was frayed at the edges, and a little dull in colour after being carried around for so long. He carefully laid it on his desk.
The little boy in the picture felt like an entirely different person to him. He grimaced as he turned away. The only thing he could recognise in himself is that deep black hair that both his parents had passed on to him.
He tugged at some of his blue strands. His roots were probably coming in, now. He hadn’t dyed it before the killing game, because there was no point. He wasn’t about to dress up to kill himself.
Manami’s dye also seemed to be fading. She did run herself ragged in the killing game - he couldn’t imagine how busy she’d been before, when she had other responsibilities. He guessed that hair dye wasn’t exactly high on her priority list.
She had also snatched up an old photo. The thing nearly looked worse than his. She had folded hers into fourths, and now the picture itself seemed to fray around each fold.
Manami had been strange when they were cleaning up the med-bay.
Ken gave him a questioning glance.
“I-” he paused. “I’m going to the med-bay. Don’t follow me.”
“Okay,” Ken said softly.
Manami and Shigeki greeted him as he entered. She was sat down for once, lounging in her chair. It was a pleasant surprise, even if it was probably only because Shigeki insisted.
“Ah, Kamimura,” Shigeki smiled at him politely. He was probably still mad at him for going off alone with Ken. Kazutoshi pushed it to the back of his mind. “Are you feeling well?”
“I’m here for Tsuno,” he said, crossing his arms.
Manami shot up.
“Oh, me?” she asked. She had her hands clasped on her knees. He wondered if they were sore.
“Yeah. I-” he took a breath. It was easier to get it out quickly, but he wanted to be careful about how he phrased this. Manami was worse than him when it came to accepting help. “I wanted to check on you.”
She laughed nervously, her gaze tilting slightly to the left. She was no longer looking him in the eye.
“Oh! I’m fine, don’t worry, Shigeki’s been very helpful so I’ve been taking lots of breaks and-”
“The reward, Tsuno,” he interrupted.
“Oh!” she giggled again, and then wilted under his unimpressed glare. He wouldn’t allow her to play it off. Not when he knew how much it hurt.
“You both received a photo, didn’t you?” Shigeki said tentatively. Kazutoshi nodded, keeping his eyes on Manami. When the silence continued, he hesitated again before speaking. “It’s…a personal reward, isn’t it?”
“So’s yours,” Kazutoshi responded.
“Yes,” he admitted. He ran his thumb over the necklace fondly. “It makes me miss home even more. If I were to see their faces…”
Kazutoshi grimaced. He wished it was that simple. That he’d go home and see their faces looking back at him. Wonderfully alive and animated as they rushed to embrace him. Mum would offer to sleep in the same room as him to make him feel safe. Dad would make him some soup to comfort him.
He would feel safe.
His heart ached as he mourned for a life he could never have.
“I-I want to go home,” Manami said quietly. She was crying, her knees pulled up to her chest. She rested her chin on her knees. Kazutoshi stared.
He couldn’t imagine willingly facing people as he cried instead of tucking his face away.
Her tears fell slowly, and a small smile wobbled on her face.
“The picture, it has my brothers and my parents in it. It’s old - really old. From before I went into rehab.”
“You’re not in it?” Kazutoshi asked.
She shook her head.
“I wasn’t around much, then. I was always out. I think about the day that photo was taken a lot. I would’ve enjoyed it, if I had just stayed with them.”
“You didn’t enjoy it, then?” Shigeki ventured.
“No.” Manami stared down at the floor. “I didn’t.”
Kazutoshi felt the strongest urge to get her to smile again. It was like an itch under his skin. Seeing her like this made him feel uneasy.
“Old photos are weird,” he said. “I don’t really recognise myself in them.”
Shigeki laughed.
“Yes, I feel the same way. I look different with black hair.”
“I can't imagine you without it,” Manami commented.
Shigeki adjusted his gloves.
“I can’t either,” he sounded far away, his eyes a little blank as he said it. Kazutoshi narrowed his eyes. “Truthfully, I don’t like old photos.”
Kazutoshi scoffed.
“Please, I’m sure you look fine. Probably still look all princely and shit even with boring black hair.”
Shigeki startled.
“No, no, it’s nothing like that,” Shigeki said, frantically waving away Kazutoshi’s response. “I…it’s not me I don’t like seeing.”
“Your dad, then?” Manami asked.
Kazutoshi tried to give her an incredulous stare. That’s not something you could just ask! She dutifully ignored him, keeping her focus on Shigeki.
“No, actually,” Shigeki continued, nervously adjusting his gloves yet again. “It’s…it’s my mother. I don’t like to see her like that.”
“I’m sorry that happened, Shigeki,” Manami said soothingly. “Your dad must’ve been awful.”
Shigeki swallowed, his back perfectly straight. Kazutoshi frowned.
“He…he was. My mother has to wear her hair in a particular style now. He injured her so badly that she had to get a lot…a lot of stitches on her head. The bald spot won’t go away.” His hands curled into fists as he talked. “She’s ashamed, because of something he did. He nearly killed her, and she’s ashamed!”
He remembers his parents hushed whispers over his hospital bed. He had been pretending to be asleep, delighting in tension that wasn’t caused by his illness. Finally, he wasn’t their only problem.
They’d made plans to get his Mum firmly away from the creep that wouldn’t take no for an answer.
Those plans never came to fruition.
A painful thought flashed across his mind.
Was his Mum ashamed too, when she died? Did she wonder what she did to make that man feel so comfortable? Did she, even for a second, shoulder the blame for an unspeakably evil man?
“That’s pretty common for victims of domestic abuse, unfortunately,” Manami sighed.
Kazutoshi hummed. Where he saw the physical aftermath of violence - the blood, the flesh, the vomit caked into rugs and carpets, Manami saw the emotional aftermath. Somehow, he preferred the blood.
“Your community work must be difficult,” Shigeki said. “It’s commendable that you keep up with it.”
Manami shrugged, wrapping her arms around her calves.
“I just don’t want anyone to feel how I did, is all. People deserve to know that someone will help them. Someone will care. It might just be a stranger, but they will care. I think that’s important.”
Kazutoshi thinks most people fundamentally suck. They’re only out for themselves and can’t be trusted.
But Manami? Manami is different.
“That’s really cool, Manami,” he blabbed, before he could stop himself. He flushed, and hoped he didn’t come across as strange. She grinned, and then restrained herself, nodding politely.
“Thanks, ‘Toshi.”
He left the med-bay feeling overwhelmed with kindness. He hadn’t expected to run into so much of it during a killing game. He was still reeling from Ken’s devotion to him, especially after he died.
He hadn’t expected that. He had always expected to pass quietly. His funeral would be a truly tiny get together, and the mourning period would hopefully pass quickly for everyone.
He’d only known Ken for a couple of weeks. Granted, the circumstances were exceptional, but he couldn’t understand how Ken had gotten so attached.
He couldn’t understand how he had gotten so attached.
When he got back to his room, Ken had attempted to make the bed. Keyword being attempted. Kazutoshi’s lips twitched in amusement. He’d watched Ken watching him yesterday, eyes eagerly memorising how Kazutoshi liked his sheets. He always tugged them tight around the corners, with the pillows resting underneath.
It was endearing, how eager he was to learn. Even if he failed.
Ken sat up properly when Kazutoshi entered.
“Kazutoshi!” Ken greeted him with an earnest smile.
Kazutoshi felt so overwhelmed by affection that he didn’t know what to do with it.
“Ken, come here,” he ordered, before he could think better of it. The man didn’t hesitate, practically bounding up to him like a loyal dog. They were very close, and Ken was expressive as ever, silently staring at him with concern and love.
His brown eyes travelled up and down Kazutoshi’s face, lingering on his lips for just a second longer than was necessary.
Kazutoshi tried to listen to his pulse in order to keep it steady. Memories accompanied each heart beat. Ken’s interview, when he implied that he’d help Kazutoshi with bills. Ken’s face lighting up when Kazutoshi told him about his aunt, and his renewed interest in university. The sensation of Ken’s jacket wrapped securely around his shoulders. Ken wailing about Kazutoshi’s death like it was his own. Ken loudly cheering for Kazutoshi during the salvation game - his smile wide, open, and fierce in a way it rarely was.
“When we’re out of here, go to the same uni as me,” he said quickly, trying and probably failing to not trip over his words.
“O-Okay,” Ken said simply. His eyes flitted away from Kazutoshi, but he watched a pleased smile clamber up his face. It lifted his rosy cheeks higher in a way that was truly adorable.
Finally, Kazutoshi had something to go home to.
–
Ruiko hadn’t expected to talk with Sasaki. This time around, she was trying to be more reliable. When Monomoko had interrupted during Mai's trial, and Yanagi had started yelling at Hasegawa, Ruiko came to a terrifying realisation.
She was going to live. Her steadfast determination to survive had secured her future. But she looked, really looked, at how she had secured that future.
Hasegawa was right about at least one of them. She didn’t deserve to live. And yet, she still didn’t want to die.
Maybe, if she could do things right this time, she could earn that right again.
Keizou entered the kitchen with red eyes. The rewards seemed to make everyone feel emotional. She waved at him, but kept her distance. He seemed exhausted.
He rifled through the drinks cupboard, pulling out some coffee bags from the back. Ruiko spotted Kazutoshi’s teas.
Hasegawa made him them every morning. The earthy, floral scent made the auditorium feel a little less daunting. She always tried to arrive after them, so she'd be greeted by the comforting smell.
She couldn’t imagine how Kazutoshi feels knowing what Ken did. She couldn’t understand why Hiroaki had decided to tell him. Even she knew that it was a bad idea - if only because she was already struggling to not blurt everything out all the time anyway.
It was difficult, seeing Okazaki in the hallway and not shrinking away from her. It was grating, to not be able to sob into Mai’s arms every time she saw her. She was overly cautious around the stairs and absolutely terrified of doing anything to upset Watari.
Navigating her problems silently wasn’t like her.
She remembers what they all asked each other the first time around. ‘What’s the first thing you’ll do when we get home?’
They were so sure then. So certain that Ruiko was pretty sure she’d asked and been asked that question by everyone.
It made her uncomfortable that Kazutoshi had nothing to look forward to when they got out. It upset her, and she couldn’t explain why. The most he mentioned was dyeing his hair again.
“Harada!” she yelled suddenly. He yelped and honest to god jumped into the air. He was like a cat. “Where’s Chiba?”
–
Airi pouted, impatiently tapping her foot on the floor. That few inches of floorspace were the only visible bits in her whole room. Clothes, makeup and paper was strewn everywhere.
Nakamigawa had stopped by to hang out with her and was surprised when he went to knock on an ajar door. When he asked her about leaving it unlocked she just shrugged, clinging to the mug in her hands like it was a lifeline.
“Jesus, isn’t that like, your fourth cup?” Nakamigawa said. She held the mug tighter.
“I’ve been on caffeine pills since I was nine, I need more than normal.” She nodded at his own mug meaningfully. “Besides, aren’t you an insomniac?”
“Only most of the time! Also if you think I’m not gonna comment on that being fucked up you’re very wrong.”
It came out more smug than he intended, but her expression remained fond anyway.
“They just helped me stay focused,” she said airily.
Nakamigawa scowled. His dad had squeezed his shoulder and promised they’d eat out when his grades went up. His mum had been delighted, her eyes twinkling as she had nodded in approval. His own pinched smile went unnoticed.
He thought they didn’t know, then. Not until that night when he overheard them discussing it. They settled on it being good for him. He was better high than he ever was sober.
“Focused, huh?” he spat out. “Yeah, I’m sure your parents loved that.”
“Leave them out of it,” she said quickly, glaring down at the remains of her drink. He fidgeted, suddenly uncomfortable.
“Sorry,” he offered her his drink, and was surprised by how genuine his apology was. “I just…I have my own issues, I guess.”
Airi squeezed his hand as she took the mug.
“It’s fine,” she said. “I get it, we all do.”
He softened. She was endlessly understanding, Airi. She trusted people with an ease that felt instinctual, but he could see it. He could recognise that it was a conscious decision for her, made every second of every day. To him, it made her incredibly brave.
She took a sip of his drink and screwed her face up tight. She shoved it back at him.
“That’s not coffee,” she whined, sticking her tongue out in disgust.
“Yes it is!”
“That’s more of a slushie than a coffee!”
He only settled when she offered to practice her makeup skills on him. She stumbled around the room, checking each pile of stuff until she found a big glittery box.
“Aha!” she exclaimed, lugging it over. The thing was half her size. She began rooting through the contents of the box, treating each item with extreme care. It was a funny juxtaposition to the rest of her room.
She held up an eyeshadow palette that had truly beautiful packaging. It looked like a cutesy compact mirror, with gold and silver slithering up and around the design. In the middle was a shiny heart, with adorable floral patterns nestled into the background.
“I found this one myself,” she said fondly. “It’s a small business, and I bought a lot of their stock. I don’t know if they know it was me. I like that.”
“You could’ve just gotten it for free,” he replied. “I mean, like doing a brand deal with them or something.”
She shook her head.
“I wouldn’t like that. People always want something from me when they find out who I am. I like there being no expectations.”
“I get that,” he said lightly. “The price of not being common, right?”
She frowned again, and turned away. Nakamigawa sat up properly.
“Don’t say that,” she muttered. “That’s…people are important. We don’t need to divide people like that.”
“I-that’s not what I meant.”
She looked at him properly.
“It is, though. I mean, we’re both self-made, right? You must know how it felt before.”
Nakamigawa shifted uncomfortably, his knee bouncing as he grappled with his ever-present feeling of guilt.
“No, we weren’t poor Airi. We weren’t rich either but we were…we were fine.”
“Oh.”
She placed the palette back in the box.
“You…you were?” he asked timidly.
She nodded. It was strange to see her with her hair down. Her makeup was still on; Nakamigawa hadn’t quite earned that trust yet. But still. Seeing her with her hair down made her look older, in a way. More real. He wondered how often Harada and Hama had seen this side of her last time around.
“I was like, really young. I don’t remember much, but I do remember feeling hungry. I was so hungry.” She pulled one knee up to her chest, and reached out for his mug. He gave it to her, surprised when she didn’t drink it, but squeezed it. It looked like she was trying to squeeze all of the warmth out of the thing. “I thought that once I got famous, I’d stop being hungry.”
Nakamigawa took a few seconds to process that information.
“Airi that’s…that’s fucked up. Your parents didn’t let you eat?”
She huffed in a way that was unusually snarky for her.
“It’s not like that! Everyone gets these ideas about child stars and their parents but, like, my situation is different. I needed to keep getting jobs, and I wasn’t gonna get them if I looked older.”
“That’s easy for them to say when you’re the one making that sacrifice.”
“You don’t understand what it was like,” she said hollowly. “I-I couldn’t send them back to that. Not when they’re the ones who helped me succeed in the first place.”
Nakamigawa let out a frustrated groan, tugging at his hair a little.
“But you’re the one doing all the work!” he exclaimed.
This time she groaned, throwing her head back in exasperation.
“You don’t get it Nagawa!” she cried. “You don’t know what it’s like!”
“But why are you the one carrying all the burden?” he asked softly, switching up his tactic. “That’s not fair, Airi.”
She deflated, staring down into his now lukewarm drink.
“The world isn’t fair. I can’t blame my parents for that. If it was fair, I could have stayed in school. If it was fair, I could eat and still get jobs. If it was fair, not one of us would have to go hungry. Nagawa, I have to work harder than everyone else because the world isn’t fair. I won’t blame my parents for that, because it’s not their fault.”
He hesitated. It was clear there was no getting through to her, not now.
“Okay. I don’t agree, but I can accept that you think that.”
Chiba laughed quietly.
“Sure.”
“Just, Airi, when we get out of here, you should do what you want for a change. You have more than enough money now, right?”
She nodded slowly.
“What would I even do? Outside of acting, I mean. It’s been my whole life. I enjoy makeup, I guess, but…”
He thought about last time around, when she had made his injured face go from ‘grape’ to normal looking. More than normal looking. He looked hot. It had allowed him to walk around without checking every reflective surface, without ducking away from social interactions. During a killing game, that was important.
“I felt-” he paused, reminding himself to not give them away. “I felt so much better when my makeup artists sorted out my face. I was hurt then, and they helped. Their work is important.”
She nodded, and then quickly glanced up at him. She shied away from his returning gaze.
“You think I could do it?” she asked quickly, her knuckles white around the mug.
“Definitley,” he said easily. “If no one else will hire you, then I will.”
Her eyes widened. They dotted all around his face, searching for a lie.
“That’s a big promise.”
“It’s one I’m going to keep, Airi.”
She smiled, her eyes watering. Gently, she put down the mug, and launched herself at him. He yelped, but quickly returned the hug. It’s not something you could refuse from Airi.
She was crying, genuine, happy tears and it made him tear up too. He should tell Takeshi, later, that he’d done something good in here. If nothing else, he’d made Airi happy.
Harada ran into the room, mugs in hand.
“Airi, are you okay?” he exclaimed, setting the mugs down on her desk before rushing over to her.
She grinned at him, tear streaks visible on her cheeks.
“Yeah!” she replied. “I’ve just got some good news, Keizou.”
Harada’s eyes flickered between the two, before he settled into a small smile.
“Good. You deserve it,” he said softly.
Nakamigawa violently pushed back the memories of Harada sobbing during the trial. How he screamed when caught in one of the traps, pleading for the pain to stop. Now wasn’t the time. It wasn’t.
“Can I come in now?” Tamba called. Wait. Tamba?
–
Nishino had expected this. After the decision game, Hayashi had helped her clear off one of the shelves in the storage room to turn into her bed. It felt weirdly secure, being a little high up off the ground.
But not secure enough to block Hanano. She knew that at some point, Hanano would appear.
“Go away, Ha-Okazaki,” Nishino called out.
Normally, she enjoyed when people stopped by the storage room. Most people forgot about her punishment, so they jumped and screamed super loud when she leaned down and whispered ‘boo!’
Hasegawa had practically jumped three feet into the air. It was impressive. She hadn’t heard Manami curse until that point.
“I’m allowed to be here,” Okazaki replied. Nishino gritted her teeth. Right. Sure. There were so many rules to this game and she wished just one of them would allow her to be honest with her former friend.
Nishino sat up only when she felt the shelf move a little. Hanano was climbing up.
“Did you not hear me?” Nishino snarked. “Leave.”
“Why? I haven’t done anything to you.”
Nishino scowled.
“You keep saying that like it means anything. I care about the other people here, Hanano! If you don’t care about them, then you don’t care about me. I mean, what did you even say to Sasaki?”
Hanano settled on Nishino’s shelf. Nishino backed away a little, hitting the wall. Her back stung at the contact and she hissed in pain.
“I do care about you,” Hanano stated. “I do. I don’t know how to prove that to you, Nishi.”
“Don’t call me that,” she said through gritted teeth. “What did you say to Sasaki?”
“I don’t think that's especially relevant right now.”
Nishino groaned, running her hands down her face.
“That. That’s the problem,” she said, pointing at her. “Or, part of the problem. You’re never honest, you never tell me anything. Not anything important, anyway.”
“You want me to tell you something, Nishino?”
Nishino swallowed. Her hands felt clammy as she leaned forward.
“Yes.”
“So that you can trust me?”
Nishino hesitated. She sometimes wished Hanano wouldn’t wear that mask. It made it so hard to know when she was being genuine.
“So I can try to trust you,” she said slowly. Hanano seemed to consider something, her hand rising to her chest for a second. She always did that when lost in thought. Nishino used to think it was cute. Used to.
“Okay. Lay down.”
Nishino blinked.
“Huh?”
“Lay down, Nishino. And I’ll tell you something.”
Nishino hesitated, glancing quickly at the doorway. She couldn’t figure out what Hanano was up to. Slowly, so she didn’t hurt her back, she manoeuvred herself so she was laying on her side. Hanano was sitting at her feet.
She swallowed.
“Close your eyes,” Hanano commanded.
Nishino stared.
“Why should I?”
“You want me to tell you something, don’t you?”
Nishino was sweating now. She closed her eyes and felt her whole body tense up in anticipation. For what, she didn’t know. Her breathing became shallow as she heard rustling. There was a feeling of warmth hovering over her.
Like Hanano was hovering over her.
She went to crack an eye open when a hand covered them.
“Keep them closed,” Hanano whispered.
Nishino frowned, clutching at the bedsheets Hayashi had retrieved for her. She was trembling.
“Nishino,” she flinched as hot air blew into her ear. “Do you want to know something? I think you already trust me. You know I wouldn’t hurt you. That’s why you took the room punishment.”
Nishino grimaced and opened her eyes. She was sure Hanano would feel her lashes move. Hanano’s palm was warm, so warm it reminded her of the cold motive. How comforted she had felt then.
“I took it because I know you’d try to hurt Tsuno. I don’t care if you hurt me.”
The hand on her face froze.
“Oh?”
Nishino tensed again. Something was coming. She just knew it. She held her breath for a few seconds, and when nothing came, she exhaled.
Hanano lifted Nishino closer to her. She let go of the bedsheets and clung to Hanano’s wrists. She tried to move the hand from her eyes, but it wouldn't budge. She didn’t understand. Being a dancer, an athlete, she always thought she was stronger than Hanano.
She shoved Nishino down onto the shelf.
“Argh!” Nishino cried, reflexive tears streaming down her cheeks. Her back stung, throbbing incessantly as she whined. It felt like she could feel her skin peeling off. She tried to arch away from the surface, but Hanano kept her hand firmly on her chest. “Hanano! Stop!”
She squirmed under the pressure, her breaths becoming shallow as she tried to find a way out.
“You shouldn’t be so careless with your life, Nishi.” Hanano said sternly, finally relenting. Nishino cried, turning on her side and gasping out breaths.
“Why would you-”
“Hm?” Hanano was still looming over her. “Feeling betrayed? Maybe you did trust me, then.”
Nishino could only stare at her, wide eyed. Her breaths were still coming up short, and Hanano was getting blurrier as the tears kept coming.
“I’ll tell you something, like we agreed.” Hanano leaned in close again, and Nishino’s heartbeat accelerated. She tensed again, and her breath hitched as a sharp pain made her back throb. “I’ve been homeless since I was thirteen.”
“You-” Nishino gasped. “What?”
Hanano seemed pleased as she leaned back, finally allowing Nishino some space.
“There. You trusted me, and I trusted you.”
Nishino scowled, feeling a touch too vulnerable as she just laid there. But getting up felt impossible as her back pulsed. She was in agony.
“That doesn’t make us friends again!” she ground out. Hanano adjusted her position so she was hovering over Nishino again. She tried to jerk away and winced. She felt so small.
Hanano’s face was getting closer. Nishino turned her face away resolutely. She wasn’t having a repeat of what happened during the motive reprieve.
Hanano lifted her mask, just a little. Her lips smelled fruity. She was probably wearing that same Chapstick again. Nishino didn’t want to buy it anymore.
Hanano’s hand reached out for Nishino’s chin. Nishino’s eyes watered for an entirely different reason.
“Hanano, don’t-”
Hanano paused. She gripped Nishino’s jaw, keeping her head in place. Nishino squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself.
She felt warm lips on her forehead. Gently, more gently than she could have anticipated, Hanano pushed Nishino’s hair away from her face. She carefully ran her fingers through the black strands.
“I didn’t say it made us friends again,” Hanano said softly.
A loud clang made Nishino jerk again. She groaned at the pain. It sounded like it came from the hallway. Right outside the storage room.
Hanano took the opportunity to retreat, looking back at Nishino one last time before she slipped down the shelves and out of the room.
The door closed with a neat click.
Nishino closed her eyes and tried to imagine that she was at the pool with her siblings.
She’d style her sister's hair, force her brothers to wear sunscreen, and when they were preoccupied she would finally, finally, feel the cool water on her skin. In this scenario, her back was fine, completely healed, and her brothers would think it looks cool. Her sister, being so little, might cry seeing it, but Nishino would play up how brave she was, how it didn’t even bother her.
She reimagined the pool day six or seven times, and eventually, she managed to fall asleep.
Notes:
Okazaki being unable to trust without being weird about it makes her SO fun to write.
Yanagi's mother blames herself and he hates that and yet blames himself for what happened with his ex God the generational trauma of it all.
Little does Kamimura know, Hasegawa was always planning to attend the same university as him.
Chapter 16: Loyalty Game
Summary:
The students participate in the Loyalty Game.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Manami was typically up before anyone else was. Still, she waited down the hallway so Hiroaki could enter the auditorium and loudly shout ‘first!’
She giggled to herself and then slipped into the room.
“Good morning!” she called out cheerily. Ojima wasn’t here yet, she guessed he was probably getting Hiroaki a coffee.
“Morning, Tsuno,” Hiroaki greeted. He was nicer this time around, especially to her. She didn’t understand why, but she wasn’t about to complain.
Ojima struggled with the door for a second, both of his hands clearly occupied. Manami held it open for him, and her smile brightened when he gave her a soft look.
“Thanks,” he said quietly, before handing Hiroaki his cup. “We’re out of the caramel syrup, you’ll have to deal with the hazelnut one.”
“But the caramel’s the best one!” he whined. Ojima rolled his eyes.
“Maybe next time don’t use so much of it,” Ojima replied. “It would last longer.” He turned to the middle of the room. “Oh, great. The desks are back.”
“It could be worse,” Hiroaki said darkly. Manami frowned. It was frustrating her that she had no idea what happened after she died. How much worse could the games get?
“No kidding,” Ojima muttered.
“She was insistent on it!” Manami perked up at the sound of Tamba’s voice.
“That doesn’t seem…wise,” she heard Shigeki say.
“No shit,” Kazutoshi snarked.
She opened the door for them and greeted them with a grin. Even Kazutoshi’s mouth twitched up into a small smile.
Hasegawa nearly tripped on the doorway and dropped the mugs he was holding, only held up by Manami. Manami beamed at him as he flushed, stammering out an apology as Kazutoshi cackled.
She found it hard to think of him as a killer.
When the room began to fill up, Manami started to get concerned. Masa and Miki were always the last to arrive, but this morning she just had a bad feeling.
Just when she was about to step out to go and find them, she heard their voices down the hall.
“Are you sure you’re, um, okay?” Masanari asked. He seemed nervous. Manami poked her head out into the hallway.
“I’m fine, don’t worry,” Miki said with a strained smile. She had bags under her eyes and she was walking in a way that was unusually closed off.
Quickly, Manami glanced at Okazaki. She frowned. Not understanding the dynamics of the group was really beginning to frustrate her. During the next motive reprieve, she wondered if they should review their strategy when it came to sharing information.
“Thank you all for coming,” Monomoko said suddenly. Harada jumped at the voice. It was kind of adorable how at least one of them forgot it was there every time. “The game will begin shortly. First, allow me to explain the rules. Today, you will all be playing the Loyalty Game. The rules are exceedingly simple.”
“Hear that, Tamba?” Hiroaki called. “Even you’ll get it.”
“Hey! That’s not-”
“Shut up,” Kazutoshi interrupted.
“Each student will have an opportunity to play. When your turn arises, you will be asked to select one of two options - truth, or dare. If you select truth, you will be asked a question. You must answer this question truthfully. If you select dare, you must complete an assigned task without fail. You may not switch your selection once it’s already been made.”
“What if we don’t tell the truth?” Hama asked. “How would you know?”
“You will be punished for not telling the truth,” Monomoko said simply, like that explained it.
“Guys,” Hiroaki said, sounding unusually serious. “You have to pick truth, okay? The dares are going to be bad, like really bad. Trust me.”
“The truths will also suck though,” Mai responded, her arms crossed.
“Sure,” Hiroaki said lightly. “But our medic is already losing sleep over just the injuries we already have. You want to make that worse?”
Manami flushed a little. It was smart, bringing her into this, but it didn’t mean she appreciated it.
“I’m fine,” she said jovially, putting on her best and brightest smile. Mai seemed unimpressed. She groaned.
“Yeah, yeah, fine. Good point. Guys, pick truth.”
“Just,” Tamba interrupted. “Let’s not fight about it.”
“Says the one starting all the fights,” Kazutoshi mumbled. Manami was standing close enough to elbow him. He glared up at her, but she kept her innocent smile plastered on.
“The player order is being decided now.”
“Ojima Takeshi, please step forward.”
Ojima sighed, handing his mug to Hiroaki. He seemed tired as he pushed his hair out of his eyes.
“Please make your selection.”
“Truth,” he said, his voice flat.
“Ojima Takeshi, what did Sasaki Hitomi ask you to keep a secret from Hiroaki Nakamigawa?”
Manami startled when Ojima chortled, hunching over a little as he laughed. Sasaki flushed, but her lips quivered upwards in recognisable amusement.
“Seriously?” Sasaki said.
“Please answer the question truthfully,” Monomoko ordered. Takeshi finished laughing, but he was still grinning as he answered.
“She just had these cutesy hair ties. They have little cartoon characters on them, they’re adorable.”
“Why would you not want me to know that?” Hiroaki sulked, crossing his arms and pouting. Manami had to stifle a giggle at the sight. He really was the youngest one.
“You’re insufferable enough as is, that’s why,” Sasaki said sharply.
“Ah! I am not!” Hiroaki whined.
“Do you want to test that via votes?” Sasaki asked, her brows raised. She looked polite as she said it, and Manami again had to stifle laughter. “That’s something I know for sure that we could all be united on.”
“You!-”
“So this game is like Confession Game but the confessions are about each other?” Manami guessed. Hayashi nodded.
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“Isono Miki, please step forward.”
“Right,” Miki said nervously. She was trembling as she stepped forward, clutching her own arms like they were the only thing keeping her together. Manami frowned, worry sending bile up her throat that she had to swallow down. Miki was fine. Miki was alive.
“Please make your selection.”
“I-,” she sought out Manami’s gaze. Manami nodded.
“Pick truth, Miki,” she said gently.
“Okay. Truth.”
“Isono Miki, how did Hasegawa Reina die?”
Miki’s trembling got worse.
“I-”
Hasegawa stepped forward.
“Where are you going,” Monomoko said, turning its piercing gaze on him. Hasegawa stilled.
“Isono, it’s okay. It’s okay. Just keep it succinct, and then it’ll be over.”
Miki hesitated, digging her nails into her forearms. She seemed to be on the verge of tears.
“Seriously, Miki,” Kazutoshi called out. “It’s okay, Hasegawa wouldn’t say so if it wasn’t.”
“I-,” Miki took a deep breath. “She was…she was hit by a car.”
She swallowed, nodding absentmindedly as Monomoko said she could return to her desk. Masanari gripped her hand tightly, whispering what Manami hoped was encouragement.
Manami had chosen to stay by the door, near Okazaki, to keep an eye on her. When Masa and Miki had arrived, they’d taken up the final free desks, seeing as they were so late. Manami wished she had had the foresight to keep them closer to her.
“Yanagi Shigeki, please step forward.”
Shigeki gave Mai a tight smile as he stepped forward. Manami braced herself. They were both close, and knew a lot about each other.
“Pick truth,” Mai said sternly. “I can handle it. Just pick truth.”
“Please make your selection.”
Shigeki swallowed nervously, fiddling with his gloves.
“Tr-truth.”
“Yanagi Shigeki, what did Tamba Ruiko’s dad do when she asked to quit gymnastics?”
“T-that!”
Manami frowned, glancing over at Tamba. Tamba has gone ashen, staring down at the floor with a vacant expression. Sasaki reached out to grab her hand, her hand hovering over Tamba’s on the desk. Tamba turned her palm face up and gripped it hard.
“He’s the friend you mentioned?” Sasaki said quietly. Tamba nodded.
“We talked about it the other night, after Confession Game,” she murmured.
Shigeki turned to look at Tamba.
“That’s not-that’s not my secret to tell.”
“Well duh, that’s the point of the game,” Hiroaki said crassly. Manami levelled him with a blank look.
“I-” he hesitated. “Tamba, will you be alright?”
Tamba’s grip on Sasaki’s hand got tighter. Sasaki whispered something in her ear.
Tamba nodded.
“O-okay,” he turned back around slowly. “Whe-when she asked to quit gymnastics, he strangled her.”
“Jesus!” Watari yelled. “Tamba, that’s not okay-”
“I know!” Tamba yelled. “Just, I can’t deal with this right now.”
“Right,” Sasaki said, her voice severe. “Let’s move on.”
She glared at them all, as if daring them to argue.
“Hasegawa Ken, please step forward.”
Faintly, Manami could hear Tamba thanking Sasaki fervently. She grimaced. The adrenaline made her jittery, and she desperately wanted to punch something. She nudged the thought away with deep breaths. It was fine. Everything was fine.
Hasegawa had selected truth.
“Hasegawa Ken, what does Isono Miki suffer from?”
He stiffened. She raised her eyebrows. Miki seemed pale. Really pale. Manami didn’t understand. If something was wrong with her, then why wouldn’t she come to see Manami? She was well established as not just the medic of the group, but also her friend.
Hasegawa caught her confused glance.
“Oh,” he said, seemingly realising something. “Can we all agree to cover our ears when I answer this?”
“That is forbidden,” Monomoko told them.
“Y-You didn’t say that was in the rules,” Hasegawa protested.
“You think you have more power than you actually do, Hasegawa Ken,” Monomoko warned. Hasegawa deflated. Manami thought it was strange that Kazutoshi wasn’t coming to his defence, but when she looked at him she realised he was out cold on his desk. Right. The adrenaline.
“Okay,” he turned around. “I’m sorry Isono,” he said earnestly. Miki just nodded, staring blankly at her desk, even as Masa reached for her hands.
“She suffers from agoraphobia,” he said simply.
“What’s that?” Chiba asked.
“It’s when you’re scared of being outside,” Hama replied.
“Oh, that’s good then. We’re not outside.”
Miki laughed bitterly.
“I’m scared of being outside my house,” she cried. “My hearts been going so fast I think I’m gonna pass out and I just- I just-”
Manami watched helplessly as Miki worked herself up. Surprisingly, Hasegawa leaned over Kazutoshi’s desk to comfort her, timidly placing a hand on her shoulder.
“I…I have something that can help, okay?” he said quickly. “Just-just hold on until the end of the game. You’ll feel better, I promise.”
She nodded, sniffling and avoiding Masanari’s gaze.
“O-okay.”
Masanari silently pulled her hand away from her forearm and held it.
“We don’t have to talk about it,” he reminded her. Manami smiled. It had been exactly how Miki had reassured them during the first confession game. She melted, thinking about how close and fantastically alive they both were.
“Sasaki Hitomi, please step forward.”
“Please make your selection.”
Sasaki rolled her eyes.
“Truth.”
“Sasaki Hitomi, after the confession game, what did Hayashi Mai say had happened to her?”
Sasaki grimaced, but otherwise didn’t hesitate.
“She was raped. Is that enough?” she snapped.
“You what?” Shigeki exclaimed.
“Yes. You may return-”
“I know.” Sasaki interrupted.
She stomped back to her desk without looking at Mai. Kazutoshi lifted his head eyes bleary as he looked around the room.
Mai looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her up.
“Not answering questions about it,” she said gruffly.
“But-”
“Shigeki,” Tamba rebuked. He fell silent.
“Chiba Airi, please step forward.”
Nervously, Chiba detached herself from Hama’s arm and stumbled to the front of the room.
“Please make your selection.”
“Truth,” she said confidently, her expression determined.
“Chiba Airi, what did you find in Harada Keizou’s wardrobe?”
“You went into my wardrobe?” Harada cried, his voice much higher than usual.
She nodded.
“I…your door was unlocked.”
“May I remind everyone that you are in a killing game,” Monomoko pointed out.
“Yeah, seriously guys, lock your doors,” Kazutoshi added.
“I um…I was coming to come get you. You weren’t there, and it smelled bad.”
Manami figured it out before Chiba said it.
“I found Sawa.”
“Oh god,” Hiroaki said, gagging at the thought.
Harada had gone white, his eyes welling up with tears. The group was silent for a moment, and he cracked. He pressed his hands to his face and started sobbing.
Chiba rushed back to her seat. It was right in front of Harada’s.
“Keizou!” she yelled, trying to tug his arms away from his face. “It’s okay, it’s okay!”
She was so frantic Manami was unsure if she was really helping to calm him.
“Harada,” Kazutoshi said sharply. “Let me take care of the body.”
“I-” Harada cried harder, sobbing open mouthed into his palms. When he realised, he clapped his hands over his mouth to muffle the sounds.
“You should’ve said something,” Kazutoshi continued. “It’s literally my job. I can handle that for you.”
Harada nodded, mumbling something that sounded like an apology, but Manami couldn’t be sure.
“Hama Ren, please step forward.”
Hama seemed hesitant, his hands twitching towards his friend even as he stood up. Silently, he ambled forward and stared at Monomoko expectantly.
“Please make-”
“Truth.”
Monomoko was silent for a second. Manami imagined it was feeling irritated at being interrupted. She couldn’t help but relish in it, just for a second. Even if the rabbit was now helping them escape, she hadn’t forgotten how cruel it had been the last time around.
“Hama Ren, what did Harada Keizou admit to doing when you received your rewards?”
“Wait, why does Keizou get two?” Hama questioned, frowning as he shoved his hands in his pockets.
“I am not in charge of the questions,” Monomoko asserted.
Hama sighed.
“It’s not a big deal. He was a bully for a year, that’s all.”
“Only a year?” Hasegawa asked curiously.
“What, was there a quota or something?” Tamba followed up.
“He just realised what he was doing was wrong, ‘cos he’s badass,” Hama said casually. He shrugged and returned to his seat, tugging Harada into a hug. Manami smiled at the sight, even as envy pinched her chest.
It had only taken him a year to figure that out. Only a year. Someone like Harada, who was always so considerate and kind, probably never once thought about how good it felt. He probably only felt regret for how he had been back then.
Never yearning. Never like her.
She swallowed down the bitterness before she could linger on it for too long. She didn’t want it to show on her face.
Mai's turn was next. This time it was as Manami had thought. Her truth was Shigeki’s. It was exactly what he had told her and Kazutoshi in the med-bay, about his Mum’s hair. She was glad Shigeki had people to talk to about what he’d been through. Mai fussed over him when she sat back down under the pretence of him looking pale.
Manami grinned when Shigeki caught her eye. She gave him a thumbs up and he flushed. They’d be an adorable couple.
“Tsuno Manami, please step forward.”
Manami felt a bead of sweat slide down the back of her neck. She was generally trusted by everyone, being both kind and their medic. It made her nervous, not knowing which friend she was about to betray.
“Please make your selection.”
She hesitated. If she asked for dare, then she could set a precedent in place. But still, she had a sinking feeling in her chest as she answered.
“Truth.”
“Tsuno Manami, when was Kamimura Kazutoshi’s last suicide attempt?”
She gasped. Of course. She should’ve seen this coming. She should’ve picked dare.
“Wait! Can I switch to dare?”
“No. You have already made your selection.”
“But I don’t- I can’t, he trusted me!” she blurted. Her hands were shaking. She registered it only because she looked down. She felt oddly disconnected from her body in a way that was horrifyingly familiar.
She looked back at Kazutoshi’s table. He had passed out again. Panicked, her eyes darted all over the group.
“What do I-what do I do?” she wailed, in a voice so unlike her own she surprised herself.
Sasaki stood. Immediately, she had everyone’s attention.
“If you do not answer, we all get punished, correct?”
“Correct,” Monomoko answered.
Sasaki hummed. She seemed to be deep in thought for a second.
“You must answer. Preferably, before he wakes up.”
“What!” Hasegawa yelled.
“The punishments and motives seem to disproportionally affect him, don’t they?” Sasaki retorted.
“I-Yeah. They do,” the man admitted, fidgeting slightly from where he was blocking Kazutoshi from view.
“Then you have to say it,” Sasaki said firmly, giving Manami an encouraging nod. “For his sake.”
“But he-he’ll never trust me again,” Manami said, devastated.
“What’s more important?” Sasaki countered. “You having his trust, or his health?”
Manami sighed. She had a blunt way of saying it, but she wasn’t wrong. This wasn’t about her.
“Okay,” she said quietly. “It was…It was right before we were taken here.”
Tamba startled.
“Seriously?” she asked, her voice a little higher than usual. “That’s…Toshi,” she keened, tears welling up in her eyes.
“I don’t think he’d want us to talk about it any more than we already have,” Hasegawa said lightly.
Tamba nodded, and messily wiped her face with her sleeve.
“Hiroaki Nakamigawa, please step forward.”
“Great,” he muttered as he passed Manami. “This is gonna be loads of fun. I’m picking truth, rabbit,” he called out.
Monomoko was silent again. Manami wondered if they should be annoying it so often, since it was trying to get them out and all.
“Hiroaki Nakamigawa, what did Chiba Airi tell you she’s been consuming since she was nine?”
“Caffeine pills,” he said quickly. “Which is still fucked up, by the way.” He turned to point at Chiba as he said it. She had somehow stolen Keizou’s hat. It was way too big on her and flopped backwards as she leaned back to pout.
“I already told you-”
“Okay,” Sasaki interrupted. “Let’s talk about this later. The faster we get through this, the better.”
Kazutoshi’s fingers twitched. He groaned.
“Did I hit my head?” he mumbled, rubbing his temple.
“Yeah, sorry,” Ken confessed, turning away with a guilty look on his face. “I didn’t catch you in time."
Kazutoshi groaned.
“It’s fine,” he waved him away. “I’m fine”. Hasegawa seemed unconvinced. “You have to get me painkillers to apologise though.”
“R-right!” Ken said, lighting up immediately. Kazutoshi flushed at his expression. Manami hummed. Maybe Shigeki and Mai weren’t the only lovebirds here.
Tamba was called forward. She gave Kazutoshi a concerned look as she passed, and he turned away. Kazutoshi resumed whispering with Ken. He seemed displeased by the conversation, staring at Manami with wide eyes.
Manami tried to make her expression as apologetic as possible. She needed him to know that she didn’t want to betray him. After a second of hesitation, Tamba chose truth.
“Tamba Ruiko, why is Hama afraid of being restrained?”
Manami was surprised. She didn’t know anything about him being afraid of restraints. She was glad she’d never had to restrain him for any injuries. That would’ve been a horrible way to learn about that phobia.
“It's fine,” Hama said hurriedly. “Just get it over with.”
“Right!” Tamba said, making her expression steely. “He faced mistreatment in prison.”
She said it like she’d thought about every word before she said it. It was strange to hear her talk at such a slow pace.
“That is not the whole truth,” Monomoko insisted.
Tamba inhaled loudly through her nose. Her hands were in fists at her side.
“They would tie him up in specific ways to hurt and humiliate him. Is that enough?”
“Yes.”
Manami, being so involved in community support work, knew how corrupt prisons were. She delivered food to a woman who was severely traumatised by a guard that still worked at their local prison. She flinched from sudden movements and could barely leave the house without a panic attack.
Her eyes slid over to Miki. She shook the thought away. Miki would talk about it when she was ready.
Even though she knew about it, it was another thing to see someone she admired so much be left with scars because of it. She frowned, and shoved down her frustration.
The world was enragingly unfair.
“Okazaki Hanano, please step forward.”
Speaking of unfair. She couldn’t help but glare as the girl passed her. The hatred bubbling up in her chest made her feel invigorated. Shame made her flush.
That’s not who she is anymore.
The group collectively held their breath before she made her selection. Okazaki was always a wild card.
“Truth.”
“Okazaki Hanano, why did Watari Nishino take Tsuno Manami’s punishment during the Decision Game?”
“Because she thought I’d hurt Tsuno, but not her.”
The answer left her reeling. She looked at Watari with wide eyes. Why on earth would Okazaki target her? If anything, she was targeting Masa, ‘Toshi and Sasaki.
She frowned. Maybe there was a pattern she wasn’t getting.
Weaknesses, maybe?
She had honed in on Masa’s phobia, and whatever Kazutoshi was afraid of. She had targeted Sasaki specifically when she was in the middle of a panic attack.
She could feel Okazaki’s eyes on her as she returned to her seat.
Had she found a weakness in Manami?
Harada was next. Manami tried to push Okazaki out of her head. She needed to focus. Any and all information was important, that’s what Hasegawa always said. And he was smart.
She needed to be more useful this time around.
Timidly, Harada selected truth.
“Harada Keizou, how did you kill Sawa?”
Harada started crying again, doubled over as he clung to his backpack straps. He seemed smaller without his hat.
“I-I slit her throat,” he confessed, his voice cracking.
Okazaki huffed behind her. The huff sounded amused. Manami’s shoulders tensed. It took all of her willpower to not turn around and show Okazaki what being hurt felt like, if she thought it was so funny.
“Watari Nishino, please step forward.”
Nishino seemed wobbly, unsure on her feet as she stood. Manami narrowed her eyes, and spotted Kazutoshi and Hasegawa doing the same.
Nishino was infamous for her excellent balance. It rivalled Tamba and Shigeki’s.
“Truth, I select truth,” she said, before Monomoko could ask.
Manami frowned. She wasn’t moving right. She knew that Mai had set up a bed of sorts for her in the storage room, but it was on a higher shelf. Maybe she had hurt her back getting up there.
“Watari Nishino, what did Okazaki Hanano tell you in the storage room?”
Nishino froze.
“In the storage room?” Mai asked, her tone taking on a dark twinge.
“I-yeah.” Nishino confirmed. Her fingers were trembling. She was off balance. She was sweaty and bleary eyed and Okazaki had been in what was effectively her room last night.
Manami scanned her again for injuries.
“See me after this, Watari,” Manami ordered, trying to keep her tone light.
“I-right,” she agreed. She seemed too resigned. Forlorn in a way that didn’t suit her.
“She…told me she’d been homeless since the age of thirteen.”
She practically mumbled it. If Manami wasn’t on the front row, she wouldn’t have heard it.
“The whole group must hear your answer for it to count,” Monomoko said sternly.
Nishino let out a shaky exhale.
“She’s been homeless since the age of thirteen,” she said, projecting her voice this time.
The girl behind her seemed strangely still. Unnaturally so.
Manami had never realised this before, but Okazaki never offered up information about herself. Not once. The only facts she knew for sure came from the games. Maybe that right there was Okazaki’s weakness.
She filed it away for later use. She didn’t want to think this way, but if it meant that she could protect her friends later on, then it was worth the shame she felt.
“Kamimura Kazutoshi, please step forward.”
The man grumbled as he stood, complaining bitterly under his breath as he slowly made his way over.
“Please make your selection.”
“Truth, obviously.”
“Kamimura Kazutoshi, what did Tsuno Manami used to enjoy?
“Uhm-” he spun around to face her, his face lax with surprise. She hadn’t expected this either. She thought it would be about Hasegawa. Although she couldn’t quite squash the instinct to hide away, she smiled.
By the look on Kazutoshi’s face, it wasn’t believable.
“I-” she was sweating now. The cape felt too tight around her neck. “It’s fine, ‘Toshi,” she said quickly, her voice uneven. “We’ll be even, then, right?”
He blinked at her, his face blank.
“Um. Sure. Still,” he ran his hand through his hair. “Sorry.”
“She used to enjoy hurting others,” he said concisely. She was thankful it was someone who wouldn’t drag this out. He seemed massively uncomfortable, hovering at her desk for a second longer before returning to his seat.
Okazaki leaned forward.
“I already knew that,” she whispered. Manami flinched. How could she know that? Was she just saying it to rile her up?
It was working, if she was.
“Wada Masanari, please step forward.”
He gave her a reassuring look as he made his way over, and she swallowed nervously. It was fine, she was fine. She needed to focus. She barely held back a sigh of relief when he picked truth.
“Wada Masanari, what did you walk in on in the storage room?”
“Okazaki and Watari,” he said quickly, his voice a touch too breathy to not come across as panicked. “She was leaning over Watari, I don’t know why. It looked like…” he frowned. “It looked like they were about to kiss.”
Notes:
The most out of character thing I've ever written is the entire group working together and all choosing truth. I love these characters but if they had to build a raft together, they would all drown.
I love writing Sasaki subtly trying to protect people my God she's such a fun character to write.
Chapter 17: Self-Care
Summary:
The students care for each other in the aftermath of the Loyalty Game
Notes:
This is the first time in this fic that I've done things in non-chronological order, I hope it's not too confusing!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“I’m sorry,” Kazutoshi began. “What?” he yelled. “Watari!”
Watari jerked in her seat. Ken kept his eyes on her shoulders. When in pain, she hiked them up towards her ears.
She swallowed, her shoulders high up. Ken frowned.
“No, we didn’t! We didn’t! Hana-Okazaki was just being weird!”
Okazaki said nothing in her own defence. Ken wasn’t especially close to Watari. It was hard to be, after the last time around. Watari had offered him comfort as he grieved, and he plotted her death. Only for her to kill herself.
It resonated with him, that yearning for nothingness. To inflict pain upon yourself and hope that it would lessen everything else. He knew what he was going to do if he won the trial.
At least with Kazutoshi, he could take comfort in him coming back from the dead. He couldn’t imagine how Watari felt, dancing around the truth of what Okazaki did.
“Oh, sorry,” Wada said shyly, hurrying back to his own seat.
“It doesn’t matter if they did or didn’t,” Sasaki announced. “The game’s over, let's go.”
Monomoko thanked them for playing and promptly disappeared. Ken tried not to think about it too hard.
Kazutoshi remained in his seat, barely awake.
“Is he okay?” Miki asked quietly. Ken startled. He’d forgotten she had stayed behind, waving off a concerned Wada and instructing him to go help Tsuno in the med-bay.
“It’s the adrenaline,” Ken summarised.
“Right.” She sighed. “The motives really do seem to affect him more. It’s not fair.”
“I can hr-hear you,” Kazutoshi mumbled, his words slurring together. His gaze bounced all over the room. He frowned and tried to sit up straight, breathing in slowly.
“Harada is sitting in the kitchen with Chiba and Hama,” Ken informed him. “I don’t think they’re going to let him back in his room for a while.”
Kazutoshi nodded, his shoulders dropping in relief. He could take his time then, getting up and cleaning up Sawa.
Something crashed into the auditorium door.
“Ow!” Chiba cried.
He exchanged a glance with Miki. There was another bang.
“It’s pull, not push!” Harada cried. Shoes squeaked and shuffled on the floor outside. Harada wrenched the door open and Ken gaped at what entered the auditorium. Hama brought a wheelchair.
Chiba was sitting in it, rubbing her foot and pouting up at Hama as he guiltily avoided her eyes.
Harada trailed behind them, sheepishly closing the door as gently as he could.
“‘Toshi!” Chiba called. Kazutoshi lifted his head, squinting as he tried to piece together what was happening. Ken could see the exact moment he figured it out.
Kazutoshi grimaced, teeth bared in disgust as he glared at Hama.
“Fuck no,” he hissed.
“Do you want to be independent?” Hama asked. His face was inscrutable as ever, but Ken could pick out something resembling affection there.
“That’s not the poi-”
“Do you want to be independent?”
“Hama, I can’t-”
Chiba looked between Hama and Kazutoshi and hummed. She jumped out of the wheelchair and bounced over to Kazutoshi with a grace that Ken envied.
Leaning forward, she spoke so quietly that Ken barely heard her.
‘Keizou needs your help, ‘Toshi.’ She said it urgently and quickly, as if she was scared of the man hearing her. ‘Sawa is rotting, and he’s super stressed about it. I know you think this is embarrassing, but, we really, really need your help.’
Kazutoshi swallowed, quickly glancing at Harada before turning back to Chiba.
“Is he okay?”
Chiba’s mouth thinned. It was odd to see her with such a grim expression.
“He won’t eat. He said something about the smell making him unable to keep anything down. We’ve only just got him talking again,” she seemed to be on the verge of tears, her voice thickening as she implored him. “Please, ‘Toshi.”
“I-” Kazutoshi looked again at Harada who was resting most of his weight on Hama, his eyes vacant. He had a hand clasped around his necklace so tightly his knuckles were white. “Okay,” he relented.
Chiba gave Hama some sort of signal and he brought the chair over, nodding politely at Kazutoshi.
He wobbled as he lifted himself up. Ken caught his arm instinctually. For once, Kazutoshi didn’t try to throw him off.
“I’m gonna go clean up Sawa,” he told Ken, his expression determined. Ken melted at the sight of it. He stayed a steady support for the smaller man as he lowered his trembling body onto the chair.
Kazutoshi really did care for the group, no matter what he said. Ken remembered the panic in his voice the first time around when Wada had fallen ill. When they made Chiba soba, he kept looking back at the girl as if she would disappear without his attention.
Chiba was smart to use that care. His eyes sidled over to hers. She beamed at him.
Ken could admit to himself that he had underestimated Chiba, just like the rest of them. After all, it was her who figured out that Kazutoshi was lying during the first trial. It was her who learned an aerial silk technique despite being entirely new to it. It was her who eliminated Hayashi from the cage game.
Now, it was her who managed to get Kazutoshi to inadvertently accept help, even if it wasn’t for his own sake.
“Do you want me to come with?” he asked. He’d been trying to give Kazutoshi more space after they had had a heated argument last night. He’d accused Ken of babying him again, and all but demanded that he have some alone time.
Ken didn’t mention that he had mostly waited in the hallway, his eyes pinned to Kazutoshi’s door.
Never again.
“Nah,” Kazutoshi waved him off. Ken swallowed down his panic, but barely. His protest almost made it out his mouth, and his throat felt swollen with worry.
“Don’t worry,” Chiba said breezily. “Ran will be with him!”
“I will?”
“You will,” she responded with a grin.
“I don’t need a babysitter,” Kazutoshi complained.
“Too bad,” Hama said. “You’ve got one anyway.”
“You hang out with Miki for a bit,” Kazutoshi said, waving Ken off and ignoring Hama entirely.
“R-right!” Ken lingered, hovering over the chair with an unspoken question. Kazutoshi swallowed.
“It should only take me two hours,” he answered. Ken could feel a wobbly smile tugging at his cheeks in response. Kazutoshi knew him so well.
“Okay.”
When the door closed, Ken took in a shuddering breath. Miki laid her hand out, palm up, on the table in offering. Ken clung to it and took in breath after breath. She watched him patiently, sometimes mimicking long breaths, and sometimes looking away so he could have some semblance of privacy.
When he had calmed down, she reached up to tighten her ponytails. As she was smoothing out her bangs, Ken finally looked her in the eye. Her amber eyes seemed to be almost the exact same shade as her hair. It was a lively orange that wasn’t too vibrant to be overwhelming, but wasn’t too pale to be disappointing.
“Are your eyes natural?” he asked, before he could stop himself.
“Yeah,” she said with a giggle. “It’s my hair that isn’t. I wanted to have them matching.”
Ken nodded.
“I wondered if it was intentional. I-it looks cool.”
“Thanks.” She opened her mouth, and then shut it, her eyes roaming over the doors. “I, um…can I ask you something?”
Ken nodded. He didn’t trust his voice not to break right now, not when he’d just got his mounting panic back under control.
“What was it you mentioned that could help me? I-I,” she cut herself off, her eyes watery again. It looked like she hadn’t slept much. “I’m struggling.”
Ken swallowed. He’d almost forgotten about that. In his hurry to comfort her, he hadn’t considered if his plan would actually work.
“Um, hold on,” Ken said. “Monomoko?”
“Yes?”
Ken held himself still for once. It was strange, seeing the rabbit so white again. He knew it wasn’t logical, but he hated that thing. He hated it more than he could say. Even if it was trying to save them now, Kazutoshi still died in agony and blinding fear because of that thing.
Slowly, methodically, he tucked his hatred away.
“My medication. Does it get restocked?”
“Yes.”
Ken hummed. There was another change, then. He didn’t understand why it wasn’t restocked last time. It’s not like it was hard to get a hold of. It must’ve just been sadism.
“How often?”
“Whenever you run out.”
He nodded, and appreciated its wording. He turned back to Miki without thanking the thing, though. Miki paled when it disappeared. Seeing it just go like that was always freaky.
“I can give you some of my medication,” he said decisively.
“Wait, you offered that before you knew it could be restocked?” she asked, disbelief heavy in her voice. He flushed.
“I-I wasn’t thinking!” he stammered. “I know it-it was presumptuous, but-”
She held her hands up in surrender and giggled.
“You’re fine, you’re fine,” she said lightly. “I’m just teasing you. Seriously, Ken. Thank you.”
“It-it won’t do much at first,” he told her. He began to list off the possible side-effects and she paled. “M-most only feel a bit nauseous though!”
“Well, I already feel nauseous with the adrenaline,” she shrugged. “I- thankyou Ken.”
“Y-you don’t have to keep thanking me,” he said with a teasing smile.
“I do!” Miki exclaimed. “Seriously, if my sister could see me now, she’d be so happy. She’s been trying to get me on medication for years.”
“All she had to do was put you in a killing game,” he said quietly. Miki snorted and then laughed at the sound. He couldn’t help but laugh with her.
“You’re so funny Ken,” she said in between giggles. “She’s gonna go nuts when she hears about this. The one time something bad does happen and I’m not even out of the house. I’m never gonna hear the end of it.”
He huffed, and explained that Mao would probably be the same.
Miki smoothed out her bangs again. It seemed to be a habit whenever she was thinking about something.
“People change quickly, don’t they?”
It was such a sudden statement that Ken sat up straight, turning his full body to face hers.
“You think so?”
She nodded.
“I feel like I’ve changed a lot just while we’ve been here. It’s overwhelming. What if everyone else has too? If I come home and my sister is completely different I don’t - I don’t know. It’s scary to think about.”
Ken nodded along as she spoke.
“I think I understand,” he said hesitantly. “It’s…change can be a lot. I think it’s good though. Or, mostly good?” He began to fiddle with his jacket sleeve, the soft cloth soothing him. “I sometimes think about how I remember Reina. She’ll never change, now. I’ll always think of her as she was then. I sometimes wonder if that’s fair. I don’t know who she’d be today, or what she would want or what she would think of me. It’s unfair that she doesn’t get to change anymore. I used to have all these ideas about us in high school. How close we’d be, how we’d spend lunches together and what her favourite lessons would be. Then one day it was all just…gone.”
Miki had a faraway look on her face when Ken finished.
“Yeah,” she said quietly. “It was all just gone.”
Ken fumbled as he leaned closer to her, guilt making him frantic. Talking about death to someone who had just come back from the dead was probably not a good idea. Right.
“Sorry!” Ken exclaimed quickly. “I didn’t mean to bring the mood down!”
He hoped his expression would convey his true apology, about all the things they couldn’t say.
There were loud footsteps in the hallway, rapidly approaching. Both of them glanced at each other before standing up straight. Ken stepped in front of her, though he wasn’t confident in his abilities to do anything should they be attacked.
Yanagi ripped the doors open, heaving a little as he looked around. He furrowed his brow in confusion.
“Kamimura?”
“Is he okay?” Ken said quickly, racing over to the man still standing in the doorway.
“Yes - I mean, I think so. I was told that he was brought a wheelchair.”
“Yeah, he’s in it. In Harada’s room,” Miki informed him.
“Ah,” Yanagi relaxed. “I was told to argue him into it. I’m sorry for worrying you, Hasegawa.”
The way he said it hid something icy underneath. Ken tried his best to keep a polite smile on his face as he waved the apology away. He couldn’t help how his jaw tightened around the smile though. Not when Yanagi brought Kazutoshi into this.
“Um,” Miki interrupted. “I don’t know if you’re allowed to tell me because of confidentiality and everything, but is Watari alright? She was walking weirdly earlier.”
“Don’t worry,” Ken assured her. “The confidentiality clause only applies to real doctors, so we’re fine.”
Yanagi’s hand jerked, and Ken tried to not take satisfaction in it.
“Miss Watari’s back is aggravated,” Yanagi explained. “We are unsure of the cause.”
Ken frowned. He couldn’t help but think of Watari in the hallway. She’d looked so defeated, clutching at her knees and sobbing, hands clapped over her mouth as if she had something to be ashamed of.
Fury flickered in his gut. Okazaki was a huge problem.
–
“Nishino’s back seems…aggravated,” Manami told Shigeki, her eye twitching. Mai could recognise when someone was about to lose it. She had seen the look on the faces of too many targets. When they realised they couldn’t escape her grip, when they realised that they were in fact about to face justice, they would start babbling.
Whether it be a confession, threats or begging, they would lose all their composure.
“You don’t think Okazaki would…” Shigeki trailed off, raising a shaky hand to brush hair from out of his face. Mai grimaced. The adrenaline was getting to them all. Which brought her back to her main concern.
Manami’s eyes widened, and then she turned away, flushed and trembling.
“Shigeki,” Mai called. She was lingering in the doorway, only now crossing into the med-bay. The space felt sacred for a reason she couldn’t name. Maybe because she associated it so closely with Tsuno. This was her room.
He peered up at her, seemingly trying to school his expression into something casual. Mai could see his adoration in the tilt of his eyebrows, and the way his lips inched upwards, though.
“Go check on Kamimura,” she ordered, pleased when he sprang up like an eager puppy.
“Hama is bringing him a wheelchair,” Manami said absentmindedly. Before Shigeki could falter, Mai interrupted.
“Exactly. Argue him into it, will you?” She said it with a wry smile that Shigeki returned, albeit with less subtlety.
“I’ll do my best,” he replied earnestly, keeping eye contact with her as he spoke. God, he was adorable. Once he had been successfully shooed away, she closed the med-bay door and settled in front of Manami.
It was just the two of them.
Manami quickly glanced at the door, and then back at Mai with alarm. Mai couldn’t begrudge her for it. If she wanted to, she could kill the girl in a second.
“Mai?” she asked tentatively. Mai gave her a quick once over.
Tsuno’s eyebags were ever-present, and her face was gaunt. The brightness of her outfit, once stark against her tanned skin, seemed less so as she paled. The paleness didn’t suit her. She had taken her gloves off, and the skin underneath was dry and cracking. When Tsuno spotted her looking, she covered one hand with the other. It didn’t help, because they both looked awful.
“Are you usually this shit at taking care of yourself?”
It came out more bluntly than she had meant it to, and Manami laughed nervously.
“These are…difficult circumstances,” she said lightly. Mai groaned. This isn’t even what she was here for, but just looking at Tsuno pissed her off.
She reminded her of Shigeki in the worst way. Always giving and giving in the hopes of a redemption that they would never achieve - precisely because redemption was the point at which they would forgive themselves.
And they would never forgive themselves. Mai knew that much.
“Listen,” Mai began, and then stopped herself. She needed to word this correctly. “You used to enjoy hurting people-”
Manami flinched. Honest to God, flinched away like Mai had just hit her. Her pupils dilated as she took a step back, her eyes on the door.
“Manami, it’s okay,” she finished lamely, staring with wide eyes as Manami frantically shook her head.
“It’s not!” Her voice was guttural as she responded, twisting her hands in her cape. “It’s not okay! I was horrible, Mai, really, really horrible! I was everything I hate!”
“You were just a kid,” Mai said softly. She took a step forward, but halted when Manami seemed to shrink in on herself.
“It doesn’t matter!” she cried, sniffling as tears streaked her cheeks.
“I killed someone,” Mai said suddenly. “You already knew that. I’d probably do it again too.”
“That’s different,” she turned her gaze down to the ground. “You know that’s different. The people I hurt - they didn’t do anything to me.”
“And you enjoyed it?”
She nodded, her knees buckling as she fell to the floor. She hit the ground with a thud and began to sob into her hands.
“I loved it,” she confessed. “I- what sort of person am I? I miss it, Mai. Sometimes, I really do.” She took in a few shaky breaths, hands trembling as she brought her knees closer to her chest.
“You were a kid,” Mai repeated. “A kid who enjoyed having power for the first time. That’s what you really enjoyed, wasn’t it?”
Manami sucked in a big breath, seemingly gaining the courage to look at her.
“I-I don’t know. I definitely loved having it, yeah.”
Mai sighed, sinking down next to her. She sat cross-legged, resting her chin on her hand. Tsuno was still curled up, but at least Mai could now see her face.
“I’m guessing you usually miss it when you’re feeling powerless?”
“Yeah.”
Mai tilted her head to the side. Manami’s watchful eyes followed the movement.
“Then that’s normal,” she said. She tried to keep her tone flat, brisk and unthinking. Like it was a fact. Manami might not believe Mai’s opinion on the matter, but if she said it like it was a fact then maybe, just maybe, the girl could give herself a damn break.
“What?”
“Do you think I do the bounty hunting thing solely for justice?” Mai asked with raised brows. “You think I won’t admit that it’s satisfying to punch someone who’s really pissed me off? Whether they deserve it or not, I’m the one seeking out that violence. I’m the one who wants to punch someone.”
Manami looked at her like her whole world was tumbling down.
“You-but you-”
Mai didn’t wait for her to finish.
“We’re pretty alike, Manami. Both of us crave justice - and violence, apparently. If you’re bad, then so am I.”
“But you’re not!” Manami exclaimed, more tears spilling over. They clung onto her jaw for a second before falling to her lap. “I don’t get it - you’re not a bad person, so-”
“There you go then.”
–
Kazutoshi fondly reviewed his work. The wardrobe was spotless and empty. Every last hanger had been polished and the whole room smelled of fresh laundry. Sawa’s toys were bundled up in a corner for Harada to do what he wanted with.
Hopefully, Harada would be able to sleep here tonight.
Hama whistled as he came back in with a bottle of water for him.
“This looks better than when we arrived.”
Kazutoshi flushed at the compliment, smiling as he took a few gulps.
“Thanks. Is she in there?” he nodded at the bowl Hama was holding. Hama nodded in return. They didn’t have access to any of the art rooms this time, so they couldn’t make an urn. The bowl would have to do, for now. Kazutoshi placed it carefully on Harada’s desk.
While he was wondering how he should thank Hama for helping with the body (and, admittedly, the chair) Hama had all but flopped onto Harada’s freshly made bed.
“Yeah, sure, get all your sweat on there,” Kazutoshi grumbled. “Not like I just changed it or anything.”
“The guy slept with a tiger in his bed,” Hama retorted. “I think he can handle a bit of sweat.”
Kazutoshi shuddered. People here were so unhygienic. Someone hesitantly knocked twice. Kazutoshi sat up properly. Only Ken knocked like that, like he was sorry to do it in the first place.
He wheeled himself over and opened the door.
Ken was tall enough as is. He resented the extra height the man gained.
“H-hey, just wanted to che-check in on you,” he said nervously, fiddling with his sleeve like usual. Kazutoshi fought a smile back down. He didn’t need to be any more obvious than he already was with Ken.
“I’m just about finished up anyway,” he shrugged.
“You’re not gonna stay to see Keizou?” Hama asked, propping himself up on his elbows.
“And listen to him cry for half an hour? Fuck no.”
He waved goodbye to Hama without turning to face him and wheeled himself out into the hallway.
“Y-you did a good job in there,” Ken commented. “It smelled really good.”
“If this is a ploy to get me to clean your shit-hole of a room, it isn’t working.”
Kazutoshi grinned when Ken laughed and lifted his hands in surrender, stuttering through a playful protest as Kazutoshi stared.
They paused when they passed Watari’s empty room. It was weird for it to be so silent.
“Do you want to go check on her?” Ken asked quietly.
“Yeah.”
Notes:
I feel like we just take the characters word on Chiba's smarts when the story itself says something different, like that girl is CLEVER. She knows exactly how to play on people's emotions and I think that's SO interesting!
I've rewatched a lot of tetro in preparation for future chapters and something I've noticed is that Tsuno is SO certain that she could hurt Okazaki. I don't know how I missed her tone change the first time around but I'm very glad I caught it now.
I think Tsuno has such a massive complex about anger and control - I keep seeing similarities between her and Yanagi in that way. These characters are SO interesting.
Let me know if there's any characters you want to see more of! Writing from different perspectives is half the fun for me!
Chapter 18: Spa Day
Summary:
Chiba, Hiroaki, Ojima and Tamba set up a salon to help some students relax. Kamimura and Watari bond.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Masanari gasped when he saw what they had set up. Takeshi had draped some cloth artistically over the ceiling light, and it made the whole room look warmer. Cosier. Chiba had three mirrors set up, one of which has lights all around the edge. It was in a cutesy heart shape that made him smile.
All of Chiba’s clothes that were usually on the floor had been piled onto her bed to deal with ‘later’. There were glittery boxes lined up at the desk and three chairs stood in front of each mirror. They had clearly been taken from other people’s rooms, as one of them had fire damage from it.
“Welcome to the opening of our salon!” Nakamigawa preened, extending his arm dramatically to gesture around the room. Masanari followed the implicit instruction to drink it all in. He smiled, eyes bouncing from one detail to the next.
“Wow, this looks really nice,” he said.
“I know, right?” Nakamigawa exclaimed, excitement making his voice rise. “Takeshi really nailed the atmosphere. Airi is going to do makeup and I-” he pointed at himself and snipped the scissors in his hands. “Am going to do hair!”
“What’s Tamba doing?” Masanari asked. Tamba was leaning on one of the three chairs with a bottle in her hands. She was reading something on the bottle over and over. Her eyebrows were furrowed.
“She’s dyeing hair! Unless she fucks it up, in which case I will be dyeing hair!”
“Not gonna!” Tamba yelled, not taking her eyes off the bottle.
Chiba vaulted into the room, a restless ball of energy as she shifted her weight from one leg to the other.
“Masa, you’re up first!” she announced, pointing at him triumphantly.
“H-huh?” he looked around, bewildered.
“Nakamigawa wants to cut your hair,” Takeshi said simply. Masanari jumped. He hadn’t even noticed the man there. Granted, he was sitting at the bottom of the open wooden wardrobe, so he supposed it was natural that he would miss him.
“That’s right!” Nakamigawa said. “Now gogogogogogogogo,” he continued, ushering Masanari into the chair. Someone had snagged Watari’s stereo, and Chiba pressed play. The music was soothing as Nakamigawa brushed his hair.
He was so gentle with it. Like last time, Masanari didn’t know what to do with that gentleness. When he was younger, his parents didn’t really brush his hair. When his teachers noticed and mentioned something to them, they got really mad.
Whenever they did brush his hair, it was quickly. Efficiently. Unfortunately for him, that meant he would often end up crying out as they did it.
That also made them really mad.
Nakamigawa was talking to Takeshi about something. Their words mushed together as Masanari relaxed. His scalp complained when Nakamigawa brushed through a knot that wasn’t coming out. He inhaled shakily, and then stiffened.
He tried to remind himself that he didn’t have to brace for anything. Nakamigawa paused, and those silent few seconds felt like agony.
Fingers returned to his hair rather than the brush. Nakamigawa separated the strands until he reached the knot. Slowly, gently, he began to loosen it.
Masanari only just stopped himself from crying. To be torn up over something so normal felt humiliating, but he couldn’t help it.
His eyes widened when he saw Manami being manhandled into the room by Hayashi. Quickly, he scanned her for any sign of injuries. She mostly just seemed annoyed.
“But the med-bay-”
“I told you,” Mai admonished. “Shigeki’s got it handled. Relax for once.”
Manami pouted, turning her eyes down to the floor.
“Oh. Hey Ojima,” she greeted with a giggle. “Why’re you in the wardrobe?”
“It’s nice,” Ojima said simply.
Masanari watched her gaze slide over the room like his did.
“Wow,” she whispered. “What’s going on?”
“Welcome,” Chiba began. “To our salon!”
She began to give the whole spiel about the different stations. Masanari barely noticed when Manami slid into the chair next to him. Nakamigawa’s fingers kept lightly brushing his neck and under his ears in a way that made his eyes droop. Manami reached out to hold his hand.
He took it without thinking, and practically sank into his seat when she began to rub circles into his palm. This was probably the most relaxed he’d ever felt.
“Would you rather I carry you in then?” Mai said, her voice distant.
A voice that sounded like Kazutoshi’s said something back, his tone angry. Nakamigawa paused when the door opened, so Masanari opened his eyes. He blinked.
Kazutoshi was in a wheelchair, and resolutely avoiding everyone's eyes. Hasegawa was hovering behind him.
“What is this,” Kazutoshi questioned flatly.
“A salon!” Chiba exclaimed.
“Okay,” Kazutoshi pinched his nose. “But why am I here?”
“Tamba told us that the first thing you’d do when you get home is dye your hair,” Chiba responded cheerfully.
“And it looks like it needs it,” Nakamigawa chimed in. Kazutoshi gave him the middle finger and ignored his subsequent spluttering.
“That’s weirdly nice of you, Rui. What’re you planning?”
Hasegawa smiled like he always did when Kazutoshi started teasing people. Under that exasperated expression was real amusement. Ojima gestured at the spot next to him in the wardrobe, and Hasegawa timidly took it.
“I didn’t poison it or anything!” she retorted.
“I…how would that even work?” Hasegawa asked.
“Don’t think about it,” Kazutoshi warned. Masanari zoned out as Chiba started explaining the salon again, relaxing into Nakamigawa’s gentle touches. He could’ve sworn it was much quicker the first time, but if Nakamigawa wanted to be a perfectionist that he wasn’t about to stop him.
“Where are your gloves?” Kazutoshi protested, scandalised as he sat in the dyeing chair. Masanari chuckled softly as he watched a panicked Tamba rifle through her pockets for the missing gloves. She and Kazutoshi kept arguing, but it faded into the background.
When his hair was finally done, Manami had to poke him to wake him up. Masanari slowly came to, blinking away the blurriness from his vision. Manami looked…beautiful. Truly, honestly, breathtakingly beautiful. His jaw dropped open.
“Wow,” he said.
Airi laughed.
“Right? I keep saying she could model!”
Manami flushed, pleased with the praise even as she denied it. She giggled. Masanari smiled. He had such wonderful people around him. They were alive, and at least for now, they were happy.
“Hey, what about my work?” Nakamigawa exclaimed.
“Oh!” Masanari said, turning to look in the mirror. He had to blink back tears as he examined himself. It was the same haircut as last time. It suited him, from the layers to the length to the way it framed his eyes.
It was the exact same as last time, but everything else wasn’t. He could hold his confidence and the people he loved, both here, both grasped with tight desperation.
He couldn’t help that his ‘thankyou’ came out a little reverent.
—
Kazutoshi and Ken had found her just outside the storage room. She couldn’t tell them that she had been there for an hour already, gathering up the courage to go inside, but she thought they somehow knew anyway.
They wouldn’t stop with the concerned glances and prodding, no matter how many times she told them she was fine. She was thankful when Mai showed up, summoning Kazutoshi to Chiba’s room.
She decided to hide out in the dining room. She could sit at an angle where she could see both doors, and there were knives just next door if she needed them.
She didn’t know how much time had gone by when Kazutoshi showed up, alone.
“Watari?” he called. She turned her glazed over look on him and blinked rapidly. Right. Trying to not look concerning, here, she thought quickly.
“Hi ‘Toshi!” she greeted him with a grin. He frowned and wheeled next to her.
“You’re up late,” he commented. He smelled like hair dye. His hair was now a vibrant blue. It looked almost professional.
“Eh, couldn’t sleep,” she said airily. He stayed quiet for a few seconds, fiddling with one of the holes on his jeans.
“We argued yesterday,” he said suddenly.
She gave him a questioning look. She knew he had to be referring to Hasegawa.
“Ken, I mean. He won’t leave me alone,” he talked slowly, like he was meticulously picking out his words before he said them. She tried to pay extra close attention. “It’s like I get no reprieve.”
Nishino caught onto the word, giving him a sharp look.
“No reprieve?” she repeated. It was odd, looking up at him from the floor.
“Yeah. You must know what that’s like, with Okazaki.”
Nishino stiffened. Slowly, she nodded.
“I do.”
Both of them, she realised, had trusted a killer. She wondered how Kazutoshi really felt about Ken. If he allowed himself to think about it at all. She herself could hardly stop thinking about Hanano. Not just what she did, but everything about her. Her laugh, her voice, her mischief and the precious floundering uncertainty that was shown around only Nishino.
“I didn’t kiss her, by the way,” she blurted. He gave her a considering look.
“Listen, it’s-” he took a breath. “It’s fine if you like to kiss girls. It’s just-”
Nishino laughed. Like the entire group didn’t hear her gushing over Hayashi. She supposed that girls joked like that a lot though. She herself had flirted with girls for months only to find out that it was a ‘joke’.
“It’s H-Okazaki,” she concluded. “Yeah, I know.”
They fell into silence for a few moments.
“Have you been out for long?” Kazutoshi asked quietly.
Nishino nodded.
“To friends. Not to my family. I don’t know how they’d react and honestly?~ I don’t wanna know.”
“That’s fair,” Kazutoshi said with a sigh.
“How about you?” she asked.
Kazutoshi froze. His eyes were wide and he swallowed, wrapping his arms around himself.
“Sorry,” she said quickly. “Sore subject?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, if you’re worried about anyone in here, don’t be. I’m pretty sure we’re all gay. Tamba is at least.”
“Rui is gay?”
Nishino snickered.
“Yeah. She’s my fellow lesbian,” she said with a sage nod. Kazutoshi paused, and then doubled over laughing.
“Wait, wait, wait,” he said in between giggles. “Shigeki’s been doing that prince thing for a bunch of lesbians?”
Nishino couldn’t hold back her own laughter.
“Pretty much yeah!”
“Does he know?”
“Pfft, no!” Nishino exclaimed.
“But you always acted so into it!”
“Ha,” Nishino said, throwing her head back. “I’m into being served and being lazy, not men.”
Kazutoshi laughed.
“Yeah, I get that.”
“It’s just so nice to have a meal you haven’t cooked yourself,” Nishino said dreamily.
“Right?”
Nishino sometimes forgot that Kazutoshi lives on his own. It's a wonder how, considering how he’s always shouting it at anyone who tries to care for him.
“‘Toshi?”
“Hm?”
“We should go to a pride parade, when we’re out of here.”
She wondered how accessible they were for him after she said it. Thankfully, he didn’t seem opposed to it. His lips twitched upwards in a tell-tale sign of happiness. Hell, that was borderline giddiness from him.
“Sure,” he agreed. He stayed with her, huddled in the corner of the dining room, as she fell asleep.
–
After Masanari emerged from Chiba’s shower, he had already decided on his plan. He inhaled deeply and then exited the bathroom.
He yawned and rubbed his eye. Tamba and Manami cooed at the sight. Even Takeshi smiled.
“You better not fall asleep while it’s wet,” Nakamigawa warned, gesturing at his hair.
“Mhm,” Masanari said through another yawn. He ambled over to Manami and whispered in her ear. ‘I’m gonna go fall asleep on it.’
She giggled and gave him a quick hug, much to the displeasure of Tamba who was in the middle of touching up her hair.
When Masanari got to the middle of the hallway, he dropped the act. Fully alert, he marched over to the storage room.
–
Hanano stared herself down in the mirror. Her bloodshot eyes opened and closed at her command. The grey in her eyes was the same as ever. The pupils were a normal size.
Her hand throbbed. She finished wrapping it up and put the disinfectant to one side.
Hanano had opened her door shortly after the decision game to find a box filled with medical supplies. The hurried, messy way everything was laid out told her that it must’ve been Nishi who left it.
There had been a warm feeling in her chest, then. She had allowed herself to sit with it for a moment as she transferred the box to her desk.
She turned away from the mirror, placing the bandages back in their spot.
On the back of one of the bottles was a flammable symbol. Hanano turned it around, and tried to squash her nausea.
It was just the adrenaline, she reasoned.
Still. Hanano knew about fires.
She was familiar enough with them to feel intimately how they could swallow a person. The flames lapping at skin, melting it away as you cough and cough until it feels like you have no lungs left.
She had started enough fires to know that.
Hanano had believed what she had said.
‘In the next life, we’ll be foxes.’
She never believed in an afterlife, or reincarnation, or anything like that. But the feeling she got when she and Nishino talked about being foxes was so strong, so all-encompassing that she thought it must be true.
But now they were in their next lives, and they were something much worse than not-foxes. They were distant. Strangers, almost.
She had watched, earlier, as Nishino stood outside the storage room. She was avoiding it. It really made her a prime target, disassociating out in the hallway like that. Hanano had to keep an eye on her.
Monomoko could claim to be freeing them all it wanted, but the simple fact was that it had no reason to do so.
No one did anything without sufficient reason. Especially not something hard.
Hanano made her way to the storage room without a second thought. Nishino needed to be more careful with her life. She needed to.
If necessary, Hanano would wait her out, as if she were a spooked cat. Let Nishino come to her.
The problem was that the door creaked when it opened, and Hanano heard a familiar yelp.
Notes:
Writing from Okazaki's POV is so difficult because at any moment MORE lore could come out about her like PLS.
Tamba is rereading the bottle over and over again so she doesn't fuck up Kamimura's hair - she's giddy when he smiles after she's finished.
Chapter 19: Descent
Summary:
Okazaki confronts Wada in the storage room. The students wake up to a motive reprieve and the possibility of a new motive.
Notes:
Hiii everyone! Sorry I've been away camping for a little while, no signal there but now I'm back :D
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Wada was rifling through Nishi’s belongings. She wasn’t going to be like Yanagi, all white-hot rage, but she couldn’t pretend it didn’t annoy her.
“Okazaki!” Wada exclaimed. He retreated, scrambling back like she’d already hurt him. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Always so dramatic, this one.
“Wada~” she responded, walking over to the shelf. “What’re you doing?”
He hesitated, mouth agape. That’s all she needed, tugging him from the shelf and holding him up by his jacket. Immediately, he started to wriggle in her grip.
“I-I’m looking for something,” he confessed, his voice high pitched and tight with tension. Carefully, she placed him on the ground.
“What is it?”
He shuddered and inhaled, only for the breath to get caught.
“Wada,” she repeated, taking a step forward so she was looming over him. “What are you looking for?”
He swallowed.
“I-I wanted to make sure that there was no-nothing that could hurt Watari,” he confessed, his voice cracking mid-way through.
Okazaki tensed, glancing at the makeshift bed quickly, before it clicked.
“You think I would hurt Nishi,” she said softly, swivelling her head back around to stare at him. He cowered, actually cowered, under her gaze.
“I-it would just make sense,” he murmured.
Hanano thinks of Nishi screaming as the brand sizzled on her skin. She wonders how long it took for her screams to be blocked by smoke as she died. For the anguish to be trapped in her throat, suffocating and extreme in how it slowly took her apart.
She thinks of Nishi, unmoving and unrecognisable. She thinks of Nishi.
Nishino did that because of her.
“Why would I hurt her?” Hanano said. “There are plenty of other people to target.”
“All-all of us have our rooms though.”
Wada wasn’t looking her in the eye. Her jaw clenched and she barely stopped herself from grinding her teeth.
“I wouldn’t hurt her,” Hanano said. “But even if I was going to…what could you do about it?”
“I-agh!”
She grabbed him by his jacket again, hoisting him up into the air. He swung back, as if to use the leverage to kick her. She let go, and he fell onto his back with a loud thump.
“Argh!” he arched away from the floor, his head thrown back. He stayed stiff with the pain for a few moments before gaining the ability to move again. “Urgh,” he groaned, finally sitting up.
Hanano crouched.
“See? There’s nothing you could do about it.”
Wada swallowed, his breaths getting more shallow by the second.
“Okazaki, don’t,” he begged. He sucked in one desperate breath after another as she watched. He was really so easy to get a reaction out of.
Nishino was always mad when she did this.
She shoved the thought aside. If Nishino wasn’t strong enough to survive the game, then that was on her. It had nothing to do with Hanano.
If Wada wasn’t strong enough to survive their encounters, then that was on him.
Admittedly, she had hoped that Nishino would’ve been stronger than that.
Slowly, she reached out to grab at Wada’s hair. Wada watched the movement and whimpered, trying to duck away from her reach.
He didn’t try hard enough. She tugged at it experimentally. He went completely still. As if he stopped breathing.
“I’m not even doing anything to you,” she said gleefully. “And yet, here you are. Completely frozen. You aren’t especially impressive as a person, are you Wada?”
He was still frozen, his eyes watering as he made no move to escape her grip.
She tugged. He winced, his face scrunching up as he braced himself for more pain.
“Answer the question, Wada,” she commanded, her voice a little deeper than usual.
Quickly, Wada shook his head, blubbering as the movement made the pain worse. Okazaki huffed, and let go. She sat back, watching him shake.
As if she were bored, she rested her head on her hand.
“You couldn’t protect Tsuno if you tried, right Wada? She’d do anything for you.”
Wada glared. It didn’t have much of an effect, with him still crying and all.
“At least I have people who want to protect me, even if I can’t do it back,” he snapped. Hanano raised her eyebrows. Interesting. “You can’t say the same, can you?”
“I don’t need to be protected,” she said simply. Silently, he stared at her hand. It was ridiculously sore.
“No, not when you’re busy scaring the only friend you have left,” Wada snarled.
“Nishi is not scared of me.”
“She’s hiding out in the dining room with Kamimura because she’s so scared of you!” he blurted, before smacking his hands over his mouth.
–
His hands were clammy on his face. He barely registered it, panic slithering through his veins, clogging up his throat. Okazaki was holding herself still.
She was too casual in her stance, just like she had been the last time.
Every part of him was so tense he felt like he was going to seize up.
“You’re jumping to a lot of conclusions, Wada~.”
He hates the way she says his name. It’s playful. It’s unnerving. She leaned forward before getting up from her crouch.
He was on the floor. She was standing. Like last time.
“You really should have brought someone with you,” she said idly. Shakily, he pushed himself up onto his hands and knees. He didn’t have to stay on the floor for this. There was no rule that said he had to. He wasn’t doing anything wrong. He kept repeating it in his head, an evergreen mantra. It hadn’t protected him last time.
She shifted her weight onto her left side. His eyes darted to her foot and then back to her face.
“Okazaki,” his voice was scratchy and high pitched. He despised it. “Please.”
“I’m not doing anything,” she said simply.
Finally, finally, he was on his feet. He had to lean on the shelf a little for support.
“But I could.”
The words froze him over. Every muscle in his body locked up as he stared at her.
“Wada?~” She stamped on his foot. He whimpered, but didn’t dare take his eyes away from her face. “Don’t tell anyone about this. You can behave, can’t you?”
Sweat slid down his neck. His hoodie clung to his back as he nodded frantically. The world around him was blurry, simultaneously too distant and too near as panic choked him. He was a good kid. He was a good kid. He was a good kid.
–
Harada walked in on their little kitchen sleepover. Kazutoshi waved casually, placing a finger over his mouth and pointing to Watari. Harada smiled back, but it was wobbly, the muscles in his face spasming.
“Hey,” Harada squeezed the straps of his backpack. Kamimura wondered if he ever took the thing off. “Um, I want to thank you I-”
He held up a hand, shaking his head silently.
“No, really, I don’t-”
“You’re fine,” Kazutoshi interrupted, his tone harsher than he meant it to be. “Consider us even as long as she stays asleep.” He jerked his thumb at Watari. She was snoring softly, leaning almost entirely on his wheelchair.
Harada smiled and nodded.
“Do you want some tea?”
“Sure. I can only do bottled water though.”
It was cosy, sitting in the kitchen with them both. The warm drink made him feel sleepy, and he was glad for the cushioning on the wheelchair. Harada gazed at them both fondly as he sipped his own tea. He squeezed his mug every now and then, a habit he must’ve picked up off Chiba.
“Give me a second,” he whispered when he finished, slipping out of the kitchen. As Kazutoshi watched him leave, he noticed that Harada was a little wobbly on his feet. He seemed to stray to the left more often than he should’ve.
When he returned, he held up two blankets for Kazutoshi to inspect. They were soft, and he didn’t have it in him to protest when he was so sleepy.
Harada placed one on his lap, and draped the other over Nishino’s shoulders. She stirred a little, and he froze, only relaxing when she began to snore again.
Kazutoshi smiled a little, amused. Leave it to Harada to take him so literally.
He took the cooling mug from Kazutoshi’s hands and gently placed it in the sink, careful not to make too much noise. He waved at them, whispering ‘goodnight’ as he carefully shut the door.
Kazutoshi must’ve nodded off before the door completely closed, because he didn’t hear the click.
–
Mai watched Shigeki’s chest rise and fall. He was in Mai’s bed yet again, hands resting underneath her pillow. His shirt had hiked up to his collarbones in his sleep. Perhaps he had done it subconsciously. She knew he liked to sleep shirtless, but was too shy to do so around her.
His skin was paler than she thought it would be. Gently, she tugged the shirt down so it would at least cover his nipples. As much as she loved to embarrass him, she didn’t want him to wake up mortified. Her knuckle grazed his skin as she gripped the shirt. Goosebumps spread evenly over the spots she had touched. She smiled to herself.
He was so sensitive.
The air was cold, the floor was frigid under her feet. She straightened up when she heard Tamba yelp, and caught Kazutoshi before he could fall flat onto his face.
“Thanks,” he murmured. She nodded, and with her other hand pulled Yanagi’s shirt completely down to stop Hiroaki from staring. The designer flushed when she caught his gaze.
They were in the auditorium.
If she had to guess, it was time for the motive reprieve.
“May I have your attention,” the rabbit said flatly. “This is the beginning of your motive reprieve. I have some information regarding your escape.”
Mai nodded, and shoved aside thoughts of her life. Her real life. Not whatever mockery of life this was.
Without permission, images flashed across her mind.
The spot in her local art gallery where she liked to sit, just under the stairs, with modern photographs of local families. A group of single mothers, all gathered in one photo, smiled at the camera with something like relief in their eyes.
Her dad excitedly pointing at the sky and yelling ‘Look! A red kite!’ as they watched the bird glide over the hills.
Her biology teacher pulling her aside after class to congratulate her on her answer to an especially difficult question. There was pride in his eyes as he grinned at her, offering her a higher-level textbook.
Taking her shoes off at her local stream, splashing her dogs as they barked and lapped up the water happily, nuzzling against her legs whenever they came close to her.
She swallowed.
There was a life waiting for her. She shook those images away and focused. She had a vibrant, happy life waiting for her to take it - she just had to get through this.
“My colleagues are fighting more. The games are still a point of contention, but now so is the motive.”
Sasaki frowned.
“Why? Because we aren’t killing each other?”
“I believe so. I cannot confirm what the next motive will be, but one option has me concerned.”
“Spit it out,” Hiroaki called.
“Hunger.”
Mai froze, eyes instantly darting to Wada. She felt a little bad when she realised that everyone else had done the same thing.
Isono and Manami exchanged a glance. Isono nodded and looped her arm around Wada’s shoulders.
“Let's get something to eat then,” she said lightly, turning towards the kitchen. Wada had gone pale. He was stiff and looked like he was on the verge of tears. He nodded as they walked, moments too late.
Mai frowned.
When the door swung shut behind them, the group turned their attention back to the rabbit.
“So we’re not gonna have food then?” Manami asked.
“I believe the food will remain stocked, but you will not have permission to eat. If you do eat, you will all be punished.”
“So the same system as the sleep motive, then,” Sasaki concluded.
“I believe so.”
Kazutoshi groaned.
“Great. Wonderful. Fantastic,” he snarked, scowling at the floor. She knew he’d hate it, but Mai did feel bad for him. It was hard not to when every single motive seemed to affect him more than the rest of them. It just wasn’t fair.
“Okay,” Sasaki said quietly, as if to herself, before clapping her hands loudly. “Right, is there any information that the group should know? Get it all out now and then everyone make sure to eat something.”
Ojima glanced at Shigeki, who seemed confused. Shigeki nodded anyway. Mai raised her eyebrows.
“Yeah, actually,” Ojima responded. “I think there’s something everyone should know about Okazaki.”
—
Masanari didn’t know how Miki knew. Maybe it had been the way that everyone had immediately turned their eyes on him, worry creasing their faces.
Maybe he had given it away, somehow, or maybe he just looked worse than the thought.
Thinking about that last option made his chest hurt. He was still sore from where Okazaki had been pushing him around yesterday.
Still, Miki had her head in the fridge, rustling around until she finally stood back and looked at him, hands on her hips.
“Wow, I suck in the kitchen,” she said with a giggle. “Ive got no idea what to do with like…any of this.”
“Ran’s coming soon to eat, isn’t he? Maybe we could ask him for help.”
“Great idea!” She said cheerfully. He had the distinct feeling that she was trying desperately to cheer him up. It at once made him feel happy and so frustrated he wanted to cry.
He was so useless he couldn’t even feed himself. Maybe Miki did know how bad it had gotten. Maybe she had actually heard everything he had said in her empty room.
“I wish I knew how to make ramen,” she said petulantly.
“I um…know how to boil an egg now,” he volunteered.
She raised her eyebrows and he felt like he’d said something stupid.
“That’s great Masa! How’d you learn?”
“Manami taught me. It’s…actually pretty easy.”
Miki grinned. A dimple nestled into her skin.
“Really? This is pretty embarrassing but…I always overcook them. I just get so worried about them being raw!”
Masa smiled.
“I…I did that at the start too. Manami said I had to trust in the method.”
Miki hummed, tilting her head to the right as she thought about something.
“Maybe I should get Manami to teach me too. We could have cooking lessons together!”
Masanari eagerly agreed. It would be so comforting, all three of them in the kitchen, the sound of chopping and offers to help with specific tasks. He hated cooking on his own, but with Manami it always felt like bonding. Like favours done out of affection.
It felt like love.
—
Okazaki was terrible for Mai’s temper. She could still remember Wada, voice shaking, blood still smudged onto his hands, as he told her what happened.
‘I have to tell you something,’ he’d begun, and she just knew she would end up trembling with rage.
It was all too familiar. How she’d mocked him, kicking his ribs in on the floor. Kicking.
Something you typically do to someone much, much smaller than you.
She would know.
As Ojima explained it to the group, Mai had to try and quiet her ringing ears. She had to still her shaking hands.
She wasn’t there anymore. That house or the place Monomoko had taken her. She was here.
She wasn’t helpless.
“WHAT?” Manami yelled, her voice scratchy and hoarse with rage. Mai did a double take. She never got to hear Manami get angry like this. Last time around, Mai knew that she had fought with Okazaki. But she never got to see it first-hand.
If it wasn’t for Okazaki’s weird obsession, she’d let her go all out on the masked weirdo. But she could see Okazaki’s fingers twitch. Oh, hell no.
“Okazaki! Do you remember what I told you?” Manami hissed, taking a few steps forward. The movements were jerky, as if she was consciously holding herself back.
“No,” Okazaki said lightly. “You’ll have to repeat it for the group to hear.”
Manami flushed, scowling as she took another step forward. Mai couldn’t see it, but she just knew Okazaki was grinning under that mask.
“Let’s talk. Alone.”
Mai got in between the two of them.
“Hell no. I’m coming with you.”
“I can handle myself, Hayashi,” Manami said through gritted teeth. Mai tried to keep the surprise from showing on her face. Hayashi, huh.
“Didn’t ask,” she said simply.
Frustration rolled over Manami in waves. Mai could see it in her tense shoulders, her shuttered expression, her stiff movements as she finally acquiesced.
She gave Shigeki a firm nod and flicked her eyes to the doorway. He nodded back and seemed to understand exactly what she meant.
‘Go make sure the med-bay is ready.’
-
Kazutoshi slipped away to the med-bay. Ken, as always, gave him privacy, stopping just down the hall and around the corner.
It was one of the small compromises they’d come up with during the last reprieve. Ken could play guard dog all he wanted, but Kazutoshi needed privacy in the med-bay.
“Kamimura,” Yanagi greeted. “Are you looking for anything in particular?”
Damn, he thought. If Yanagi is already stationed in the med-bay, then they must be anticipating Manami beating the shit out of Okazaki or something. He hoped she did.
He hoped she made it hurt.
He didn’t like Wada or anything. In fact, he found him to be a bit pathetic, always trailing around after Manami and Miki like some sad puppy. But hurting him like that, just for fun?
It was disturbing.
“Yeah,” was all he said, starting towards the medicine cabinet. He rifled through the bottles, hating the rattling sound they made.
Finally, he found what he was looking for.
“Anti-nausea meds? That’s not a bad idea, Kamimura,” Yanagi said thoughtfully, his brow furrowed as he leaned over the smaller man’s shoulder.
Kazutoshi scowled so he wouldn’t flush at the compliment. Too many people here were just too earnest. It knocked him sideways, half the time.
“Whatever,” he muttered. He began to shove a bottle into his hoodie pocket when a gloved hand stopped him. “Get the fuck off me,” he snarled.
Something close to frustration flashed across Yanagi’s face before he released him.
“I apologise,” he said sincerely, his face polite and welcoming again. “It’s just better to do that when it’s not the reprieve, right? It will just come back here afterwards.”
“Who says I don’t need them now?”
“…all of them?” Yanagi recoiled, seemingly disturbed by something. Anger lapped up his throat.
“I-I’m not about to kill myself with them! I don’t think I even could!”
“I wasn’t-“
“You were,” he said severely. He wished none of them knew anything about him again. Maybe Ken, maybe Rui. No one else.
“I-you’re right. I’m sorry, Kazutoshi.”
“Ew, don’t call me that!”
Yanagi’s lips twitched upwards.
“Okay, Toshi.”
In spite of himself, Kazutoshi huffed in a way he was sure the blonde would recognise as laughter.
“Are…are we good?” He asked before he could stop himself. Yanagi’s fury as he walked away with Ken last reprieve had stuck with him. Really stuck with him.
“Of course, Kamimura. You are not who I have a problem with.”
Right. Ken. Ken and his insane, absolutely psychotic decisions. Right.
“You…seem weirdly chilled out about that whole thing,” he put forward, his voice a little hesitant. He didn’t exactly want to kick the ants' nest, but he sure wanted to understand why the man wasn’t losing his shit 24/7.
“I’m learning self restraint.”
Kazutoshi snickered. Nothing about Yanagi Shigeki said ‘restraint.’
“Yeah, how’s that going for you?”
“Imagining murdering your boyfriend is pretty therapeutic, it turns out.”
“Jesus dude,” he responded, and resolved to put that statement at the back of his mind like everything else he had to deal with later. That pile was starting to feel like a mountain.
Yanagi shrugged, for once not apologising.
“You’re telling me you don’t think about it with Okazaki?”
“Fuck no,” Kazutoshi said quickly. The simple fact was he was too scared of her to even think about it. It made him cringe at himself, that fear. “What, do you?”
Yanagi nodded, his face grim.
“Why? She didn’t do anything to you. Or Mai.”
Yanagi bristled.
“I care about more people than that! Besides, she stole my stereo.”
Kazutoshi's brows furrowed. Ah. Right. Manami. Ken had told him all about the trial. Yanagi and Manami were always together. He felt bad, so he changed the subject.
“She stole your stereo? Why?”
“She played it during the trial, while she was confessing to everything. It was…strange.”
“Jesus,” Kazutoshi said. “She’s such a freak. What’s even the point of that?”
Yanagi frowned as he nodded.
“I don’t know, if I’m honest. Can you imagine if she had my stereo permanently?”
“Oh fuck no, she’d probably murder me to party rock or something.”
“...I can see that being a distinct possibility, yes.”
Notes:
Hama hearing about the new motive: Oh nooo, so much will change for me - my life is forever altered
Writing Okazaki's POV is so funny because she's so surprised that people think she'd hurt Watari like girl PLS.
Chapter 20: Rock Bottom
Summary:
Two killers are confronted with the weight of their actions. Everyone struggles.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
They ended up in Manami’s room. Mai’s eyes swept over the workout equipment on the floor. There were a lot of potential weapons here.
If Monomoko could teleport them, maybe it could read minds too.
‘Monomoko, if we kill each other during the motive reprieve, does that reset too?’
She thought it as loudly as she could. No response. Of course. Okazaki stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. She too seemed to be examining it, taking in every detail.
Last time around, she had trashed it, just for fun. Maybe she didn’t remember it being this clean.
“Since you don’t remember, let me remind you, Okazaki.” Manami hissed. “I told you that if you keep messing with Masa, I will hurt you.”
“Frankly, I don’t think you could.”
Manami shoved her against the wall and started to advance on her, fingers twitching with barely restrained rage.
“Oh really?” Manami pulled her fist back, aimed at Okazaki’s face. Mai caught Manami’s wrist.
“She’s baiting you,” she explained when Manami gave her a betrayed look.
“I. Don’t. Care.” She tried to wrench her wrist out of Mai’s grip, but she didn’t relent. Couldn’t. Not when she could picture the fucked up hunger in Okazaki’s eyes. She had been a fanatic during the trial. It was deeply disturbing.
Only when Manami loosened her hand, allowing it to droop in Mai’s grip, did she release her.
“Fine,” Manami said. “Let’s talk, Okazaki.”
Mai could see how hard Manami was trying. Goodness isn’t inherent, in the same way that evilness isn’t. Manami reminded her of that every time she saw her.
“I feel like you’re not going to let me do much of the talking,” Okazaki said cheerfully. Mai scowled.
It felt so good to lift the woman up last time. She had relished in Okazaki’s hasty, weak defence of herself. How she had stuttered when faced with someone who could actually fight back.
She glared at her, and only one word came to mind. Coward.
“Lets talk about Watari,” Manami said, her voice a touch too polite. Just like how it had been during the confession game. Okazaki stilled. “She told you about what happened last time, didn’t she? She told me too.”
“Why would sh-”
“I’m kind, that’s why,” Manami said lightly. “People like me. Let me tell you something, Okazaki.” She leaned forward, her face serious. “Watari doesn’t like you.”
Okazaki stayed quiet. Mai watched Manami’s eyes widen. She was honing in on a weakness. It felt strangely intimate, like Mai was intruding on something deeply personal. She supposed she was.
“She killed herself because of you.”
Mai opened her mouth to say something, to correct her, because she was horrified by it all. Not just Manami’s statement, but what happened. Watari’s final confession was seared into her mind. The anonymity of Watari’s body lingered. How Watari as she was, alive and compassionate, flaked away into vagueness as time went on.
‘I told her I wouldn’t go home without her,’ Ruiko had confessed to her one night. Mai swallowed.
She wanted to gag. Did that happen with her too? When Shigeki and Ruiko pictured Mai, was it just her corpse? Desperation, pure and undistilled, bubbled in her chest.
She closed her mouth.
“Because of this game. I’m only going to say this once, Okazaki. If you want her to live, then you have to get her out of this game. That means cooperating. That means you don’t cause problems. Mai won’t always be here to stop me.”
Mai didn’t remember when she left the room. She didn’t remember getting to this hallway. Shoes that weren’t hers clacked lightly on the floor. Uncertain, unsure. As if the person was aimlessly wandering around.
Hasegawa.
–
Ken felt a bit aimless during this reprieve. Kazutoshi had trailed after Tamba, a worried expression plastered across his face. Tamba still glared at him with everything she had, so he opted to stay behind. He couldn’t blame her, really.
Miki had slipped away to the kitchen with Wada.
The last thing he expected was for Hayashi Mai to corner him.
He stared up at her, unwilling to be the first to talk. It was cowardly, but so was he, faintly trembling as his heart beat pounded so hard against his chest he swore he could hear it louder than anything else.
“Finally looking me in the eye,” she said sternly.
He remained silent.
“I hate you,” she spat, scowling at him.
“T-that’s fair.”
“I had people to protect, Hasegawa! I…” she trailed off. “I - I had a life to go back to.”
He straightened, guilt making his throat swell up.
“Did you know that I have dogs? I love to take them on walks. There’s a lake in my neighbourhood that’s filled with trout. Because my parents did it with me when I was little, I always stop and watch them flip just on the water’s surface until I see one of their faces. Then I keep going again.”
Even as he knew what she was doing, he couldn’t help the way shame swallowed him. He was barely okay with who he was pre-killing game. He was cowardly and slow to action and everything that he hated about himself seemed to grow over time.
Now? He was worse than who he had been.
Tsuno and Isono were always looking out for others. Hama had been firm, yet empathetic as he talked to Kazutoshi about independence. Even Hiroaki had given his coat to Kazutoshi during the cold motive and looked after Wada when things got bad.
How many people could say that they came out definitively worse after this game? Was it just him?
“I have a lot of friends, and I love them a lot. They understand why I’m angry and defensive - they make an effort with me anyway. When I’m older, I want to travel with my parents. They took me to a lot of galleries when I was little. I want to show them the landscapes that were painted there, even if they’re completely different now.”
He tried not to imagine it, turning his head away, his jaw tensed. Everything felt like too much.
She paused, her breath shaky.
“Look at me, Hasegawa.”
Slowly, his gaze returned to her. It was painful, so incredibly torturous to see and consider the life he erased. A life like his own. Like Kazutoshi’s. He swallowed.
“I lost a whole year of my life.”
Silence made the air in the room thick, difficult to breathe through. Her fists clenched and unclenched, arms held stiffly at her sides.
“A whole year, Hasegawa. I was locked in a house with a piece of shit man who tortured me for a year. He told me that no one was coming. My life…it was over. Do you know what that feels like?”
Her voice cracked as it lilted up in question. He flinched and shook his head.
“I-” his voice was too raspy. He coughed, and tried to clear his throat. “I don’t.”
“Then you have no idea what you did to me,” she said, her voice scratchy. “I fought hard for that life, Hasegawa. I claimed every little thing life gave me. I enjoyed everything I could just because I could. I worked so hard for that life. I got myself tortured again by the shitheads who run this game just to keep that life. I was desperate, and you - you took advantage of that. And still you-”
She paused and yelled, wordless, pressing her hands into her face.
His voice was shaky when it came out.
“...I took it away from you.”
She took a step forward and instinctively, he backed away. She froze. Her face morphed through several expressions he couldn’t identify before it went carefully blank.
“You’re lucky you’re half my size.”
He thought back to her outrage over Wada. Ah.
“If it would help, go ahead. No injuries would remain after the reprieve, so…” he trailed off.
She blinked, but her expression remained the same.
“Don’t tempt me.”
She turned around, as if to walk away.
“R-really I-,” he started, his volume far too small. Frustration simmered in his chest. Couldn’t he just be normal for once?
Instead, he took two steps forward, lightly brushing her wrist to get her attention.
“If-argh!”
He blinked and ended up on the ground, his arm tingling with pain where it was strained away from his back, his front thumping just a little from the impact of meeting the floor. He tried to get away from the pressure before he could think about it.
He remembered who was holding him there.
He tried to see her face, but the angle wasn’t good enough. He stilled.
“Sorry,” he said breathily. “I didn’t know how else to get your attention so-”
She tightened her grip on his arm.
“Talking usually works,” she said severely.
“I…I couldn’t get myself to be loud enough,” he confessed, hoping the vulnerability would make her let him up.
She paused.
“What did you want to say.”
He swallowed, trying to adjust himself so he was more comfortable in her grip. Her body was warm against his; a reminder that she was alive. She was alive. He had killed her, and yet-
“Hasegawa,” she warned, tightening the pressure again. She had a knee pressed into his back, and it made his breaths come quickly.
“Sorry!” he said automatically. “I just…I can’t…I can’t undo it. I can’t. I hate that. I hate what I’ve become. I’m sorry that I…you’re right. I took everything from you because I was hurting and-”
She tightened her grip again and pulled. He cried out, tears gathering in his eyes. He clenched his teeth, trying to keep any other noises from escaping.
“We were all hurting.”
“I know,” he responded, his voice thin with pain. “I know that. That’s why I-I’m ashamed. I’m sorry. But that won’t ever be enough.”’
She laughed, moving above him just slightly. If it were anyone else, he’d try and take the opportunity to free himself. But he knew better than to try that with Hayashi.
“Enough for what? Forgiveness? Because you’re never getting that.”
He grimaced.
“No. Enough to undo what I’ve done. I…God.”
He cried into the floor, gritting his teeth and feeling a numbness climb from his feet to his calves. He hoped that the numbness was only physical.
Finally, she let go, standing up to loom over him.
“You’re pathetic,” she spat, turning away again. She stomped out of the room, her face flushed red with anger and grief.
Ken stayed where he was, crying into the tiles.
Notes:
'I sure hope Tsuno gets to release some anger on Okazaki,' I say as I write her getting blocked from punching Okazaki for the 1000th time.
Hayashi after 20 chapters of emotional repression in a super high stress situation: Wow I sure hope I don't have an outburst of any kind.
Hayashi's adoration of life is so fun to write about, especially when thinking about what she has lost and how she has suffered. Learning to love life in spite of everything and then having it snatched away from you like she and Kamimura have so much in common its PAINFUL.
Chapter 21: Future Plans
Summary:
What Kamimura and Isono were up to during the events of chapter 20
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Rui had been very eager to please the night before. She’d spent so long on his hair, making odd little noises whenever she thought she had messed something up, and had endlessly consulted Chiba on the colour.
It was sweet, in a way, even if it seemed to test Chiba’s boundless patience. It was weird though, the way she had vaulted away from him after the loyalty game. After Yanagi’s confession.
He wanted to ask Yanagi about it, but it felt like a breach of privacy. He felt sick just thinking about his business being aired out like that.
When he left the med-bay, Ken greeted him with a smile. Kazutoshi bumped his shoulder against the taller man's arm. It was warm - comforting in a way he didn’t realise he had been desperate for.
As they walked through the halls, Ken kept giving him questioning looks.
“I can’t stop thinking about Rui. She was being weird yesterday,” he said finally.
“She-she was being very attentive,” he agreed. Kazutoshi met his gaze and had to forcibly stop himself from smiling. Ken’s big, stupid, goopy brown eyes were so inviting. His expression was so soft. Kazutoshi cleared his throat, ignoring the warm feeling of his cheeks beginning to flush.
“Yeah…I think I want to go check on her.”
Ken smiled sardonically.
“I hope that’s not an invitation for me to come.”
Kazutoshi snickered.
“Yeah, no, she’ll kill you with those laser beam eyes of hers.”
He split off from Ken with a nod and found himself hesitating outside of her door. The last thing he wanted to be was overbearing.
He knocked twice. Succinct. Simple. If she didn’t answer, he would leave.
“It’s unlocked!” she called. Rolling his eyes, he turned the handle.
“You’re in a killing game, y’know,” he said lightly, stepping into the room.
Ruiko was laying on her back on the floor. He wondered why she wasn’t on her bed for a second until he saw she had dumped nearly all of her stuff there. She was running her fingers over the inscription of her trophy. She shrugged.
“It’s the reprieve, it doesn’t count,” she said airily.
“It’s the motive reprieve, not the killing reprieve, dumbass.”
She groaned and placed the trophy down next to her head.
“What do you want?” she whined.
Kazutoshi shifted his weight from one leg to the other. He was stalling. He knew that.
The trophy was shiny, like she actually took care of it. Or, someone did. It was smaller than he expected, but it probably weighed a lot regardless. It looked valuable.
Ruiko caught him staring and looked back up at the award.
“You’re just gonna go back home after that?” Kazutoshi scowled and hoped it came across as concern rather than annoyance.
“Where else am I gonna go?”
He huffed, raising his eyebrows at her.
“You’re telling me Hayashi and Yanagi haven’t already offered their homes to you?”
She hesitated, her lips pushed out. It always freaked him out when she paused like this. The Ruiko he knew was unthinkingly vibrant, always saying the first thing that comes to mind. It was annoying, but it was her.
This? This withdrawn cautiousness? Not Ruiko.
“They’ve kept me alive during this game. I owe them my life, Kazutoshi. Last time, Mai died and I had halved the investigation time for my own sake. I…I,” she paused again, her eyes darting all over his face. “Kazutoshi, I didn’t deserve to survive last time.”
“Shut up,” he said quickly, far meaner than he meant to. She didn’t bolster. “It’s not about that-”
“But it should be!” she cried, sitting up to look him in the eye. Her eyes glistened with tears. “You died, Kazutoshi. Tsuno died. Hama died. Watari died. And I didn’t. All of you…”
She paused. He opened his mouth, and then closed it, at a loss for words. He knew, objectively, that more people had died after him. For some reason, he hadn’t expected Hama or Watari. He could barely wrap his mind around Tsuno.
“You all helped people in here. When I pushed Chiba too hard, you were there to make sure she was okay. Tsuno was there for everyone! She looked after all of us! Watari and Hama…they were so…they always tried to make people feel better. I just - Kazutoshi, I know it’s not about who deserves to live, but I just…I can’t stop thinking about the fact that I should’ve died instead of one of you.”
He frowned, uncertain how to approach a mindset so similar to his own.
“What, so you think you deserve to go back there?”
She tensed for a second, and that was all he needed to see.
“Rui, you don’t deserve that. You don’t.”
He didn’t know how to say it, fumbling for something that sounded as earnest as he felt. Ken had always done these proclamations, stating things about Kazutoshi as if they were simply facts. It helped, but he didn’t know if that’s what Ruiko needed right now.
She sighed, shaking her head.
“Right,” she said lamely. “I can’t be around Mai and Shigeki all the time after everything, though. I can’t. So there’s no point thinking about it.”
He swallowed and tried to shove the shame away. It tasted familiar, like the guilt that settled deep in his gut when he met his Aunt’s eye.
She’d never wanted kids. She’d been loud about it since she was young, despite the fact that as a woman, and she was constantly criticised for it. ‘Selfish, that’s what they called me,’ she had told a young Kazutoshi, who had stared up at her with stars in his eyes.
She worked hard, escaping a difficult situation with an abusive partner, getting her own flat - only to find out that Kazutoshi's parents had been murdered. On top of her grief, she found out that her new found freedom was actually nothing of the sort.
She had been saddled with a huge responsibility that she had never wanted. Not just a child, but a sick child.
Every day in that flat felt suffocating. He was hyperaware of the space he took up, of the money he drained from her, of the opportunities that dwindled away for her as she looked after him.
She had never said it, but he felt it, and that was enough to propel him into early independence.
He recognised that feeling in Ruiko’s eyes.
“How about me?” he said impulsively. She caught onto his surprise and smirked.
"You don't mean that."
Kazutoshi paused, furrowing his brows.
“I think I do,” he said slowly. “At least for visits.”
He didn’t have a way to support them both financially. He was fucked enough as is supporting just himself.
If he had to guess, Ruiko’s earnings were locked away by her parents, probably until she turned eighteen.
Ken flashed in his mind, telling him that he wouldn’t have to worry like it was something obvious. He shoved it aside. It wasn’t smart to rely on someone when you haven’t even worked out what you feel about them.
Ken’s actions lingered in the back of his mind, creeping to the front with a subtlety that made him flinch whenever he had too much time to himself. He needed to work that out when they escaped first and foremost.
Ruiko pushed her lips out again. She always did that when trying to push back a feeling. He could admit to himself that it was somewhat endearing. Not enough to make up for the rest of her, but still.
“You’re…serious?”
Ruiko was the first person to express real, earnest horror at his suicidal tendencies. It had sent shockwaves down to his stomach, dislodging something heavy there, to hear it expressed with no ulterior motive.
She had been so straightforward with him. It knocked him completely off balance. He had been a little giddy, last time around, when he made plans for the future. He had wanted to tell her.
He hadn’t got the chance.
“I am. I’ll get you a key when we’re out.”
“How will we find each other?”
Kazutoshi’s brain stalled.
“Oh.”
—
Automatically, they’d gathered in Hitomi’s room. She hadn’t even complained that much this time, just rolling her eyes when Nakamigawa fell onto her bed with a sigh.
“This is gonna suck,” he complained. He always got so angry when he was hungry. Takeshi always got a little whiny in an adorable way. He was so open, so straightforward in how he felt about those little sensations.
It made Nakamigawa smile.
“We don’t know for certain if that’s the motive,” Hitomi gently reminded him.
“It sounds awful, so it probably will be,” Takeshi said definitively.
“Yeah, probably,” he agreed. “I don’t wanna think about it.”
Hitomi gave him a flat look.
“We should think about it though. It’s important to strategize while we can still talk openly.”
Nakamigawa huffed, resting his head on his hand.
“What could we even do about it though?”
Hitomi’s brow twitched as she thought about it.
“I…I don’t want to think about it either,” Takeshi volunteered. “To be honest…I don’t wanna think about the future at all.”
He nearly flinched. They were the same kind of thoughts he had when he had picked up the cyanide. If he thought about his future, all he could feel then was dread. Pure, unadulterated dread.
He had desperately needed to get away from himself, and he was the one person he couldn’t avoid.
He swallowed.
“I…I understand that,” Hitomi said sternly. “I find it helpful to fixate on a point in the future, a happy point, and think about nothing else.”
“What even is that for you?” Nakamigawa asked. “Exam season?”
She huffed, but her lips twitched upwards. She pulled on a cardigan. He didn’t know how she wasn’t sweating, wearing a shirt, jumper and then another layer on top.
“Just after, actually,” she said lightly.
“Because you get to party?” he teased.
“The reason is irrelevant,” she shot back with a withering look. He grinned. “Have you got anything in mind, Takeshi?”
Takeshi seemed to close in on himself, hunched over as he clutched his arms close to his chest.
“I…no.”
“Not even getting out of here?” she ventured, her voice a little lighter than usual.
“No,” he said quickly.
Nakamigawa frowned.
“Your brothers,” he said slowly. “Takeshi.”
He sat up properly and positioned himself so that Takeshi could only see him.
“Takeshi, are they hurting you?”
His eyes widened as he shook his head, mouth falling open.
“No, no! No, they - they’re good. They’re good to me.”
Nakamigawa frowned. Takeshi didn’t lie. He told him that last time. He hated lying. But still…something was off.
“Oh,” Hitomi said quietly. Takeshi sat up straight, looking over Nakamigawa’s shoulder and at Hitomi. “You…I get it,” she continued, her voice still hushed.
Nakamigawa looked between the two of them. Hitomi seemed cautious, looking at Takeshi with a question in her eye. Takeshi inhaled slowly, and then exhaled. He nodded at her.
“He thinks his rapist is gonna come back,” she said bluntly. Nakamigawa grimaced.
“But isn’t he?...”
Hitomi shrugged.
“I don’t know the details. I just know the fear.”
The bed sank as Hitomi shuffled onto it. The sheets rustled as she approached the two. Takeshi kept his eyes on her the whole time, until she stilled. His expression was sympathetic - the same kind of sympathy he hated to see directed at himself.
“I don’t even know why it stopped,” Takeshi confessed. “I just - I don’t know. I kept thinking that he was gonna come back. I…I still think he’s gonna come back, if I’m being honest.”
Hitomi nodded, wrapping her cardigan closer around herself. Outrage lapped up at Nakamigawa’s throat. Hitomi, always so certain, always so steadfast, seemed fragile, curled up like this. Takeshi’s eyes were so wide that he could appreciate the slightly different shades of blue in each. He was so trusting, so genuine and so kind to the people around him, even after everything.
He couldn’t imagine shattering her confidence. His trust. Especially when they were younger. Hell, Hitomi was probably getting her first few pimples. Takeshi was just…he was just so young.
“I won’t let that happen,” Nakamigawa said fiercely. Takeshi smiled, but it was tired,strained - the motion stopping just before it could really showcase his dimples.
“You can’t promise me that.”
Hitomi squirmed, tugging her shirt down. And then her jumper. And then her cardigan. She smoothed them out.
“You’re right,” she agreed. “He can’t. But, Takeshi, we’ll do our best. I promise. Living in fear like that…I don’t want that for you.”
Takeshi seemed so small as he nodded, tears gathering in his eyes. His breathing was coming a little faster in a way that made him concerned, but for now, it looked manageable.
Hitomi’s arm jerked, the aborted movement catching the attention of the two men. Slowly, she placed her hand down on the sheets, palm up. She looked down at it, and then up at Takeshi.
Takeshi seemed taken aback, but gently placed his hand on top of hers. Nakamigawa could see him struggling to stay present. His face kept going slack, like he was thinking about something really hard. He would squeeze his eyes shut, and then his expression would be attentive again.
He had to change the subject.
“What about your teacher, anyway?”
“I’m out of his age range now,” she said bitterly. “I see him in meetings, sometimes. It’s humiliating, reporting to him like nothing happened. I…I think he knows that.”
Nakamigawa couldn’t imagine it. The silent tension, mocking him when all he wanted to do was run.
It reminded him of his parents. Their quiet support of the substance that ruined his life.
All of his fights were loud, brash - explosive. Aside from his parents, he aired out all his grievances then and there. Maybe that quiet tension was just a sore subject for him, because he couldn’t stop his next statement.
“I’m gonna find a way to ruin his life.”
Hitomi cackled for a moment, leaning back as she pushed her glasses up. She cut herself off, seemingly surprised at her own reaction.
“How? By annoying him to death?” Takeshi teased. Nakamigawa flushed, but delighted in the amused smile that remained on Hitomi's face.
“I-I’d find a way!”
Hitomi hummed thoughtfully.
“He does actually have quite a short temper, so you probably could do that.”
“He went into teaching with a short temper?” Takeshi asked, eyebrows raised.
She laughed again, her expression faraway.
“Yeah. He was so mad all the time I honestly used to think he was going to go into cardiac arrest.”
“Did no one think that was weird?” Takeshi asked, frowning. Oh, sweet, sweet, naive rich Takeshi, Nakamigawa thought. He hadn’t thought about his old teachers in a long time but their grumpy, eye-bag riddled faces stuck in his brain.
Hitomi yawned and leaned back onto her headboard.
“No, he was fine with his superiors. He just hated kids, I guess.”
“And loved them apparently,” Nakamigawa muttered.
–
“Nakamigawa!” Takeshi reprimanded, sending a concerned look over to Hitomi. Hitomi felt the laughter fizzle in her chest before it left her. She chuckled, covering her mouth with her hand. It felt wrong to laugh about it, like she was breaking some kind of sacred rule.
But, still. It was nice to have it laid out so openly. It was a crass way to put it, but she supposed the whole situation was crass.
“See! She thinks it’s funny!” Nakamigawa said smugly.
Hitomi and Takeshi both jumped when someone started banging on the door. The noise was loud and layered, as if it wasn’t one person knocking but two.
Nakamigawa got up and sauntered over to the door.
“Where else would they - oh, you’re here,” Kamimura said in lieu of a greeting.
“You’re so rude!” Nakamigawa snapped. Hitomi walked over to the doorway before they started to actually fight.
“Hi,” she said, looking down at Kamimura and Tamba. They really were small. “Is something wrong?”
“We figured out something!” Tamba said excitedly. It was Tamba, so Hitomi doubted it, but still, she crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe.
“What is it?”
“After we escape,” Kamimura began, his face focused, like it had been in the trial last time around. She blinked. Now wasn’t the time, she reminded herself. “We should have a means of communication. So we can all find each other.”
“Like hell do I want to find Okazaki,” Nakamigawa grumbled.
“No, he’s right,” she said thoughtfully. “If something were to happen to one of us, it’s important that we all know, just in case it’s related to…well, this.”
She gestured at their general surroundings. She turned her eyes onto Tamba, and then swept them across everyone else.
“Please tell me at least some of you have your phone number memorised.”
“Um…” Tamba gave her a sheepish smile. Hitomi sighed and pressed her hand against her forehead. Tamba was lucky she was cute. “I know my email!”
Kamimura frowned, shaking his head slightly at the thought.
“We could do email instead,” Hitomi said absentmindedly. “But it’s not so immediate. I would prefer phone numbers.”
She turned her eyes onto Kamimura and Tamba. Tamba especially seemed eager to do something. Energy was rolling off her tense shoulders in waves. Hitomi could sympathise.
“The rest of you know your phone numbers, right?” Hitomi asked. Nakamigawa and Kamimura nodded. “Okay,” she said, turning to grab a notebook. Takeshi appeared at her shoulder, handing her one of her blank ones. She smiled at him as she took it. It was nice to be on the same wavelength as someone else. “Both of you write them down, Tamba and I will go quickly grab other peoples numbers.”
“I know Chiba’s too,” Nakamigawa chirped.
“Good, write that down then too. Please make sure you have them all memorised.”
Tamba gawked.
“All of them?”
Hitomi sighed.
“As many as you can. I especially want those of us who only know our emails to memorise at least two phone numbers. That way, if something does happen, you’ll have another way to contact us all.”
Takeshi nodded, his face firm.
“What are we going to do about Okazaki?” he asked, his glasses sliding down his nose as he looked down at the paper.
“Hopefully, she’ll cooperate...or Watari will know her number,” Hitomi responded, grabbing an extra pen from her drawers. She paused. “Do you think Tsuno talked some sense into her?”
Nakamigawa’s laugh sounded more like a bark.
“More like beat some sense into her, did you see how mad she was?”
—
Airi hadn’t really gotten to see Isono’s room last time. It was much tidier than hers, and still cute. She clearly spent a lot of time here - it felt lived in. Loved.
She spotted the packaging of a face mask laid out on her desk. It had been cut out, as if Isono intended to keep it.
It was pretty, orange flowers spreading from the corners around the sides, approaching the middle but not quite reaching it.
“It’s pretty,” Airi said, pointing at it.
“Yeah,” Miki agreed, her face softening. “Masa cut it out for me. He said it reminded him of me. I want to put it up on the wall maybe, but decorating feels…wrong, considering our situation.”
Airi nodded, her eyes sweeping across the room once more.
“There’s nothing wrong with making a place feel homely, even if it’s not home,” Airi recited absentmindedly. “Some intern told me that once when she saw my dressing room.”
“She seems cool,” Isono responded.
Airi agreed. She never knew what happened to that intern. She couldn’t even remember her name, really.
There were too many people in Airi’s life, most of them distant and fuzzy. It was painful, sometimes, to think about who actually knew her as a person.
“Still,” Isono continued. “I don’t want to get too comfortable here.”
Airi bounced over to her bed and sighed as she laid back.
“I bet your home is really cosy,” Airi said softly.
Isono swallowed, avoiding eye contact.
“…It is.”
Airi closed her eyes and tried to imagine she was on a bed somewhere else. A hotel maybe, or at her cast mates place for another party. Anywhere but here. She only realised she had started to hum when Isono stared.
“…why did you want to talk to me?” Isono asked, a polite smile stretched across her face.
“Oh!” Airi sat up with a giggle. “I forgot! I wanted to talk to you because we’re both performers, and I think that’s cool!”
“So is Yanagi,” Isono replied, her head tilted a little as she thought about it.
“That’s sports stuff, it’s different,” Airi continued, shuffling on her butt to the edge of the bed. “We’re like, performer performers.”
Isono giggled shyly, her cheeks turning pink. Airi took in her amber eyes, her smooth pale skin, the way her socks squeezed her legs just slightly. Isono really was gorgeous.
“I don’t think what I do is really comparable to what you do, Chiba,” she said lightly.
“Call me Airi,” she all but demanded.
Isono blinked, and then softened, her smile opening up into a grin.
“Okay, call me Miki then.”
“And it’s totally comparable!” Airi continued before she could think better of it. “You don’t have any of the backup I do, but you’re still a professional!”
Isono laughed, finally lowering her arms from where they’d been bent close to her chest. Nervously, she sat on the desk chair opposite Airi.
“Probably because what I do isn’t as hard. Besides, I have mods and stuff.”
Airi frowned. She reminded her of Keizou, never willing to accept that maybe they just simply were talented.
“You’re too hard on yourself, Miki,” she said gently, in the same cadence she sometimes heard directors use with tired actors.
She just shrugged and replied “maybe”. Airi knew that she wouldn’t be able to change her mind about this. Fine, she thought, I like having friends like this anyway. That way, she could make them believe that they were talented. She’d break down that self doubt if it was the last thing she’d do.
She startled, a thought flashing across her mind.
“Miki, will I see you when we get out of here?”
Miki paled and tensed up, crossing her arms over her chest. Her hands tensed. Her nails were digging into her forearms.
She’d said the wrong thing. Again. Airi scrambled to correct it, leaning forward and opening her mouth when Miki finally spoke.
“…I don’t know, Airi.”
She relaxed a little when she heard her first name. She hadn’t ruined their fragile bond.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Airi said quickly, tears welling up in her eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt her new friend.
Miki sat up properly, reaching forward to grasp Airi’s hands.
“No, no you’re okay, I promise!” She exclaimed. Airi searched her for any sign of a lie.
“You promise?” She asked quietly.
“I promise,” Miki said earnestly. “It’s difficult…for me to talk about. But I know I should. I can’t avoid my life forever.”
Something about that last sentence resonated deeply with Airi. She said as much, and Miki’s eyes widened. Her pink lips parted just slightly.
“You do?”
“I…yeah,” Airi admitted. “I know everyone thinks it’s weird, how I act. But I just…I’m doing what people want…” she took a breath, feeling the words on her lips before they came out. “I’ve always done that.”
Airi knew she was difficult sometimes. But she could control the perception of her volatility if she just turned it into an act. People preferred her volatile in a childish, controllable way. She felt guilty for thinking it, but she couldn’t take thoughts back.
“You feel like you’ve avoided your life because of that?” Miki asked.
“Yeah. I think.” She hesitated. “I don’t know what to think about it. I don’t want to think, most of the time.”
Miki hummed in sympathy, her face contemplative.
“I get that. I…I had a life. I was living properly, going out and,” she gesticulated, the hand movements not making much sense. “Y’know, living. But…going out now that people know me? I-“ her voice cracked. “Airi, it’s terrifying.”
Airi nodded. Her mother used to show her fan mail every time it arrived, placing it gently on the kitchen counter. At some point, she had stopped. Airi felt hurt, at first, seeing the flames curl up the paper. Countless letters had been dumped in the fireplace. Her mother had left to go bathe, and Airi peered closer at the words she was about to lose.
She recoiled, eyes wide as nausea clawed at her throat. The words were scribbled haphazardly, as if the writer was in a rush. Someone, a real person, who woke up sleepy every day just like her, who got cranky when hungry just like her, wanted to do that to her.
She mentioned it to other actresses, who just nodded dismally.
‘It comes with being a woman in the public eye,’ one of them had said, resignation making her voice unusually flat.
“I know,” Airi said eagerly. “Trust me, Miki, I know.”
Miki swallowed, staring intently into Airi’s eyes.
“You do, don’t you?”
Airi nodded, not breaking eye contact.
“If…” Airi trailed off. She hated thinking about her future. It was painfully void, an unpredictable tide that brought her nothing but anxiety. But Miki looked so sad - and she didn’t have a mother who was in the industry. She didn’t have a manger. Isono Miki was a young woman, famous and completely on her own.
It unsettled Airi. She’d read enough news articles to know how badly it could end for her.
“If you do want to go out, you can have my security team!” Airi said cheerfully, like it wasn’t a big deal. She didn’t want the girl to feel like she was a burden.
“But you need them!” Miki protested. Airi smirked.
“Fine then, half my team. I have other staff with me too, usually.”
“But that’s not- that’s too much Airi!”
Airi watched her eyes well up, digging her nails back into her arms.
Gently, very gently, Airi took her hands away from her arms, placing them in her lap.
“It’s not. Miki…I want both of us to stop avoiding life, together, okay?”
Miki laughed through her tears, wiping them away from her face. The red crescents on her arm were bright right now, but Airi took solace in the fact that they would soon fade.
“Yeah,” Miki agreed. “I want that too,” she reached out and took Airi’s hand, squeezing it firmly as she spoke. “Together.”
Notes:
CHIBA MY BELOVED SHE MEANS THE WORLD TO ME
Something I've noticed with Tamba and Chiba is that their choices in life aren't really theirs, making them both seem much younger than they are, though obviously more so for Chiba. GOD I love these characters.
Chapter 22: Whoever Serves Us
Summary:
Yanagi talks to Monomoko about their escape. Hasegawa struggles, and the students gather for food.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Shigeki waited a couple of minutes before calling Monomoko. He pressed his ear to the door, making sure that no one was going to come barging in during his talk with it.
“Monomoko,” he called out.
It appeared, making that scuffling sound with its feet. It was otherwise completely still.
“What can I help you with?”
It was endearing, the way it kept its voice entirely flat for questions.
“Um…I was actually,” he took a breath. “Monomoko, I wanted to make sure that you are alright.”
“What.”
“You are trapped here just as much as we are, aren’t you?” he ventured.
“I cannot leave, yes.”
It was the same thing it had said last time. His jaw tensed.
“I’m concerned for you,” he explained gently. “Does your escape plan include you too? Are you going to be safe?”
The rabbit was silent, craning its neck up at him. Slowly, he sank down to the floor. His knees creaked as he got into position, crossing his legs over each other.
“It would be much easier for you to think of me solely as your captor.”
Shigeki frowned.
“But that wouldn’t be right,” he said slowly. He had seen Monomoko waver last time. He’d watched and listened carefully at the allusions to the other people in charge of this game. One thing was for certain.
Monomoko wasn’t the one in charge.
“Your classmates seem to think otherwise.”
Shigeki leaned forward.
“That’s their decision,” he said lightly. “Monomoko, I-”
“Yanagi Shigeki.”
He stilled.
“It would be best if you adopted the same mindset as your classmates.”
Monomoko was easy to hurt. Takeshi had proven that last time around. Bile leapt up his throat.
He swallowed it down.
“Why? Monomoko, are you going to die?”
It stared at him. Those pink eyes didn’t hold much depth to them, but Shigeki knew there was conflict there. Monomoko wanted help, just like they all did. It was part of living, existing. Everyone wanted help.
“Goodbye, Yanagi Shigeki.”
It disappeared. He let out a frustrated groan, digging his hands into his hair.
How many people would he fail? Must someone suffer every time to ensure his survival? First Mai, and now this?
He had heard too much screaming on his behalf. His Mother, shielding him from huge, calloused hands.
His sister, screaming louder than him to get their fathers attention. To make sure those hands wrapped around her throat, not his.
Mai, desperate for them all to escape, stumbling into trap after trap. Her hazy, dazed eyes as she stared up at him in the med-bay. Those eyes sharpened into pure horror when she properly came to. He approached her and she had whimpered.
Was Monomoko to be added to the list too? Forced to enact violence upon them all, and then die just to free them?
Monomoko’s position was his worst nightmare. Having to dole out punishments, motives, executions, just to survive? He stumbled as he got up, his hip hitting the corner of the medicine cabinet.
Quickly, he swiped the anti-nausea pills and swallowed them dry. He couldn’t stay here and think about this.
He couldn’t. Not now.
–
Mai was content to sit back and let other people take over the cooking for once. Ran, Harada, Manami and Wada were all already here, mid-way through prepping something, after all. They followed Manami’s direction, pleased whenever she gave them a sharp nod of approval.
“I’m so glad we’re not actually paying for all these ingredients,” Wada said, carefully placing the eighth egg into boiling water. Manami nodded and continued chopping.
“Right? This stuff is fresh, too!”
Manami only just seemed to notice that Mai was there. Mai nearly chuckled - it wasn’t often that people forgot about her presence. Manami was funny like that, though.
“Oh! Mai, do you want some tea?” she offered, still chopping as she turned away from the board.
Mai rolled her eyes and jerked her head at Manami’s hands.
“Slow down there, princess,” she said lightly, raising her eyebrows. Manami flushed bright red and turned back around. She’d pulled her hair up into a ponytail, so Mai could spot that her neck was flushed pink too.
Pretty, she thought. Pretty enough to kiss.
She blinked the thought away.
Manami giggled.
“Right, sorry,” she continued chopping with her eyes on the board this time. “Seriously though, do you want some tea?”
She shook her head, and then remembered that Manami couldn’t see her.
“Nah,” she said simply.
She relaxed, leaning back in her chair and watching Wada fumble through Manami’s instructions. It was kind of cute, really.
Faintly, she could hear the distinct clack of shoes on the hallway floor. They were quiet, almost muffled. She knew the gait immediately.
Shigeki.
She perked up and nodded at him as he entered. He smiled politely at her, but it fell off his face too quickly.
He looked ashen. Withdrawn, even. He scuttled over to the kettle and flicked it on, fiddling with his gloves again.
Mai stood and made her way over to him. She stood so she blocked him from the others' view. They were far enough away that hopefully no one could eavesdrop.
“Shige?” she asked, running her eyes over him for injuries. He looked up at her like a lost puppy. His eyes were red and puffy. His cheeks too. “Shige, did something happen?”
His eyes began to water. His grip on the counter got tighter.
“Mai,” he cried, loud enough for Wada to turn to face them. Distinctly aware of the eyes on her back, she turned around and glared. Wada squeaked and looked away. Manami raised her eyebrows at her.
Mai wrapped an arm around his waist and slithered one under the back of his knees. She hauled him up and he flushed even more, bright red for a completely different reason as she carried him out of the kitchen.
Manami said something in a teasing tone when the door slammed shut, but Mai couldn’t care less.
She stomped over to her room. With shaking hands, Shigeki locked the door, still held tightly in her grip. Quickly, she deposited him on the bed, hovering over him.
“Injuries?” she asked, running her eyes down his body again. Slowly, he shook his head.
“I-I’m fine,” he said quietly, tears still rolling down his cheeks.
“Clearly.”
He swallowed, trying to blink the tears away as he violently rubbed his eyes. She reached out and held his wrists as gently as she could.
“You need to be kinder to yourself,” she said softly.
“I…” he trailed off. She moved him over so there was room for her to lay next to him. He went willingly, completely malleable in her grip. It was enticing.
“I’m serious, Shigeki,” she assured him, looking him in the eye. He tried to turn his head away, but she caught his chin and kept it in place. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
He swallowed again.
“Monomoko…I think it’s going to die.”
Goddamn Shigeki and his compassion. He had too much of it, honestly. Most people weren’t worth worrying over, Monomoko included.
“This concerns you,” she offered in place of her opinion.
“I - it’s just as trapped as we are! I just…it’s not fair that it’s freeing us and it just dies…it’s not fair!”
His voice had a growl to it as he scowled. She nodded along, even if she couldn’t understand. This was clearly important to him.
“Do you know for certain that it will die?”
“No, but it wouldn’t answer any of my questions about its safety.”
Mai hummed.
“Maybe it’s got a different reason for keeping it from you. It’s pretty cryptic, half the time.”
Shigeki seemed hurt.
“You think I’m overthinking it?” he asked.
“Probably,” she pressed on. She couldn’t stand to see him worrying over people like this. Like he did the first time around. He fucked up his hand forever, his whole career, just for some girl he just met. He was going to let them all die for a girl he just met.
He’d throw himself away for anyone. It infuriated her.
He went pale again. Nothing like the flushed skin she so often wanted to kiss. She frowned. “Maybe you’re right.”
His eyes were glazed over. She’d fucked this up.
Back in the kitchen, she poured him some tea. He waited in her room.
He wanted to serve and protect everyone. It perplexed her, partly because it was so familiar to her. Her ex had seen her in a similar light. A protector. Someone sensual and supportive and so entirely his that he couldn’t comprehend her being her own person.
She remembered his disinterest when she began to call off dates, unable to get the image of her tormentor's body out of her mind.
I didn’t mean to, she kept thinking, over and over again. She’d see flashing lights and flinch away, thinking they were meant for her. Her dogs would whine and cuddle up to her and she’d wonder if she was just meant to be like this. Violent. Out of control. Volatile.
She’d called him one night, desperate for comfort. She thought she was getting understanding silence from him as she cried.
She heard a level up sound from his computer and humiliation burned her hot. He didn’t give a fuck about her. Not a vulnerable version of her, anyway.
She didn’t want to be that for Shigeki. She cared about him, even if she didn’t give a fuck about Monomoko. Right then and there, she thought about doing something special to show him that.
—
Kazutoshi had written down Hasegawa’s number before he left. He memorised the rest of them in record time.
Nakamigawa didn’t have much trouble either. Memorisation wasn't difficult for him. For Takeshi, it took a little longer. He seemed fixated on Hasegawa’s number right now.
Nakamigawa had told him that he ‘shouldn’t be contacting that psychopath anyway’, but Takeshi didn’t seem to listen, staring intently at the paper, and then up at the ceiling with his eyes closed, mouthing the numbers.
“I don’t get it,” Nakamigawa said finally. Takeshi seemed irritated as he opened his eyes, clearly mid-number.
“Don’t get what?”
“You!” Takeshi blinked, taken aback as he leaned away. “You still get him coffee every morning, you’re super nice to him, you sit with him. He murdered Hayashi, Takeshi. I thought you liked Hayashi.”
“I do!” he said instantly. “I just…”
Takeshi frowned, tapping his pencil against the paper non stop as he thought about it.
“I…I don’t know,” he finally admitted. “Maybe I want things to be good between us all again?”
“You don’t think that about Okazaki,” he pointed out.
“I-” he scowled at the mere mention of her. “That’s different. She enjoyed hurting people. Hasegawa isn’t like that.”
Maybe he wasn’t at the start. But Nakamigawa could only see violence in him now. Cold, calculated hatred that made the guy crack. It disturbed him.
“His plan sure made it seem like he’s like that.”
Takeshi huffed. His eye twitched. It was clear he was getting frustrated, but Nakamigawa couldn’t stop. Not until he had answers.
“That was necessity though. It’s not like he enjoyed it.” Takeshi fidgeted, a sure-fire sign that he was trying not to go away.
“Takeshi,” he began sternly. “He systematically picked at our weaknesses to target us all individually. You can’t pretend that that’s not personal.”
“I’m not! -”
“You are,” he said flatly. They were both silent for a few moments. “I don’t know how you can just…move on, like that.”
“If I don’t, I’m not…I’ll give us away.”
He said it slowly, so slowly that Nakamigawa thought for sure that he was finished several times.
“I hate this stupid secret thing!” Nakamigawa complained, groaning as he pinched his nose.
Takeshi has serious problems, he knew that. Takeshi knew that. Their problems were just so totally and completely opposite that sometimes Nakamigawa struggled to understand him.
But what he did understand was the way Takeshi had trembled during Confession Game, his breath catching every couple of seconds. How he’d gone from twitchy and tense to relaxed the second he’d gone away.
Nakamigawa remembered something Hitomi had written in her journal. It resonated with him.
‘As people, we don’t have much in common. But one thing does unite us, thick and cloying as it sends us crashing into each other. Fear.’
Even if he couldn’t understand Takeshi, he could understand that.
Takeshi had closed his eyes, facing the ceiling again as he mouthed the numbers.
Nakamigawa was pleased that he hadn’t gone away this time. He tried to focus, to really understand. Takeshi had survived abuse for many years, but he hadn’t moved on from it. That was for certain. He stashed the memories away like they were something to be hoarded. Maybe he did that with Hasegawa’s betrayal, too.
That could make sense, he reasoned. Takeshi turned back to the paper and grimaced. He’d missed a number, then.
But that would mean avoidance, just like he avoided the topic of his family entirely. He didn’t avoid Hasegawa. He sought him out.
An eerie idea struck him. Maybe he attached himself to the old version of people, the version that hadn’t hurt him. With his uncle, his dad. It would help him shrink away less in public, if he just pictured them as who they were before they hurt him.
Was it like that with Hasegawa too?
–
Reina was so little when she died. He didn’t know coffins came that small. The lilies from the funeral stained his white shirt. It’s nearly impossible to get lily pollen out of your clothes once it stains them.
As a child, he would sit and stare at that stain. Amber, fuzzy, just like the pollen itself.
He had nearly cried when it faded.
Reina was soon relegated to a memory. Not a real person, with evolving hopes and dreams, wants and dislikes, pet peeves and favourite foods.
No. She remained as she was. He’d done that to Hayashi.
Her parents would’ve remembered her every time they took the dogs for a walk. They might’ve stopped at the trout lake and tried to remember the exact way her eyes crinkled when she smiled. Maybe they’d go to an art gallery and sob, mourning their daughter for a second time.
He clung to the toilet and retched.
He flinched when the cubicle door slammed open. Okazaki stood there, hands casually in her pockets. One of them looked stiff, locked into position. Like Yanagi’s had been.
He gagged again. He couldn’t think about Yanagi right now.
“You should probably keep food down, considering the next motive,” she said.
He heaved. Anger, confusion, exhaustion and guilt all stirred up in his mouth. He felt oddly disconnected to himself, despite the acidic taste of vomit that lingered on his tongue.
“Fuck off,” he said half-heartedly, leaning almost entirely onto the toilet bowl.
“Why? I’ve agreed with Tsuno to play nice.”
Ken groaned. His head pulsed. He wanted to pass out here on the toilet seat. Anything outside that felt like an irritant, prickling his skin for a moment before retreating away.
“Don’t care.”
“Are you hungover?”
“Mmh,” he groaned again, trying to pull himself up. If Okazaki was trying to have a conversation with him, he had to be somewhat alert. Unfortunately. “No.”
He squinted against the bright lights. Okazaki closed the door. The lock sounded very, very loud.
She crouched down in front of him.
“I admired your work, Hasegawa. With Hayashi, I mean. Did you take inspiration?”
He scowled.
“Okazaki. Stop.”
She giggled.
“What? Are you not proud? Well,” she gestured to the toilet. “I guess not.”
Ken wracked his brain for something that could get her to shut up. Oh. Thank god for the student files.
“Ninomiya Youhei.”
She stilled.
“What?”
He relished in the way her voice came out slightly higher.
“He’s gonna be in the next killing game, if there is still going to be one. You better hope this escape plan works out,” he spat.
He knew he’d said the wrong thing when Okazaki began to laugh.
“You always surprise me, Hasegawa,” she said cheerfully. She leaned forward. “You should be more careful about what you say when you’re alone in this state though.”
He knew a veiled threat when he heard one. He leaned back against the toilet and closed his eyes.
“If you’re going to hit me, then do it.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” he said with a snarl. It was so uncharacteristic of him that he almost took it back, almost apologised. Until he remembered who he was talking to.
“You’ll stay still?”
“Y-yeah.”
She stood up. He remained on the floor, looking up at her. The mask didn’t cover her chin from below. It was odd to see that part of her. It was so freakishly human. She shifted her weight onto one leg. He braced himself.
“I won’t,” she told him. He could tell she was smiling under that mask. “Because you think you deserve it. I disagree.”
She left him there, in that cubicle. The vomit smelled worse by the second. He heaved again as her footsteps got quieter.
–
“Hasegawa is in the bathroom,” Okazaki told him. “He doesn’t seem well.”
“Okazaki, I swear to god, if you’ve-”
She laughed.
“I'm playing nice, Kamimura. Not that you could do anything to me anyway.”
She pranced away, her coat billowing out behind her. He fucking hated her.
Still, he got to the bathrooms as quickly as he could, keeping his heart rate in mind. Someone heaved, gagging over the toilet.
“Ken?” he called. He heard a whimper. Definitely Kens. Rushing into the cubicle, he spotted his jacket discarded on the ground. The man was shakily holding himself up for a second as his entire body tensed. He heaved again. “Ken,” he repeated, softer this time.
He made a confused noise, turning around to face Kazutoshi.
Kazutoshi hovered over the man, unsure of what to do. Slowly, he put his hand on Ken’s head, running his fingers through the strands.
Ken sighed, making a pleased noise. Kazutoshi leaned over a little to check Ken’s face. His face was marked pink from where he’d been laying on the toilet seat. His eyes were glassy, unfocused.
“Ken?” he said again, relaxing when Ken finally looked up at him. “Ken, are you sick?”
It came out more frantic than he would’ve liked it to.
“No,” Ken replied, his voice hoarse.
“Did Okazaki do anything to you?”
“No,” he said again, closing his eyes when Kazutoshi tugged on his hair a little too hard.
“Sorry,” he apologised quickly, loosening his grip. “What...what happened?”
“Hayashi told me about her life,” Ken told him, tears rolling down his cheeks again. He curled up, sobbing into his knees.
Automatically, Kazutoshi sank to his knees, wrapping his arms around the other man. Ken moved his face and Kazutoshi’s shoulder began to dampen.
Horrible cries came out of Ken’s throat, his breath catching whenever they slipped out, as if he was trying to force them back in. It made him sound choked. It made Kazutoshi uneasy, squeezing Ken tighter.
“You wouldn’t have done it if you weren’t here,” Kazutoshi said firmly. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it all. He couldn’t begin to imagine it. The blood, the grief, the smell of rotting bodies.
The only thing he was certain about was that. Ken never would’ve done it if he wasn’t pushed. For now, at least, he would direct his outrage there. At the game itself.
–
When Kazutoshi entered the kitchen at Manami’s behest, he seemed exhausted. His movements were sluggish, as if something heavy was physically restraining him. He picked up two plates and waved off Manami’s concern.
Mai doesn’t doubt that he’d found Hasegawa. Hasegawa’s distress, she couldn’t care less about. But Kazutoshi’s was different.
He was like her. He’d seen horrifying shit and been unable to slot back into society afterwards. As kids, they probably would’ve gotten along.
She’d spent far too long after coming back thinking that no one could be trusted. Simple jokes were seen as too dark. She was fucked up for telling them. But they were true. They were her life.
She’d been isolated, and it had a severe effect on how she viewed the world.
She recognised that in Kazutoshi too. Trying to end his life just to end up kidnapped in a killing game? Then getting brutally murdered? Fuck. Without her parents, she wouldn’t have fared much better.
She felt the drive to do something for him curl around her gut. He and Shigeki. Both too similar to herself.
Pans clattered as they hit the sink. Mai sank down into her seat alongside Shigeki and Ruiko. Chiba gave her a grin before she began to eat.
“This feels like the restaurant thing we did last time, doesn’t it?” Manami said cheerfully, putting more food on Isono and Wada’s plates.
“Restaurant thing?” Harada asked. Isono seemed equally confused.
“Is this another thing I wasn’t alive for?” Sasaki asked. Hiroaki snickered and ignored the glare he received from half the table.
“Yeah,” he confirmed. “A good thing, this time. Hayashi and Yanagi set up this restaurant thing, all food from our hometowns. It was fun.”
“And time consuming,” Mai warned, pointing her chopsticks at him.
When they finished, she had her mind stuck on one person. Watari had been quiet all dinner. Unusually so.
Mai pulled her aside and asked for help with the dishes. She never thought she’d see the day when Watari perked up at the mention of dishes.
She handed Watari a tea towel after a quick glance at her skin. It was obvious that she’d accidentally burned her hands again. As much as Mai wanted to admonish her for not being careful, it was nice to know that she was picking up her favourite hobby once more.
“Here, you dry.”
Watari nodded, finishing her conversation with Wada who trailed after Manami. When they were alone, Mai spoke up.
“Last time around, you were pretty good at giving people something to do.”
Watari’s expression shifted for a second before she brought it back to bubbly.
“Yeah! It’s better to not be bored, right? Especially in a high-stress place like this. Why, are you bored? I could think of ways to entertain you.”
She said it with her eyebrows waggling. Mai laughed and felt lighter for it.
“I was thinking about doing another restaurant thing. With everyone here this time.”
“Awww Hayashi you big softie!” Watari cooed. “That’s a great idea!”
“You think?” she asked. Watari’s eyes widened and she nodded, a grin spreading across her face.
“Yeah!”
“It will be less themed this time, last time was fun but it took a lot out of me. I want to make sure that -”
“Oh Hayashi,” Watari interrupted. “It’s not the food that’s the problem, it’s the servers!”
Hayashi raised her eyebrows.
“Don’t you go nuts for the prince shit Yanagi does though?”
Watari huffed.
“Being served is always good, but there’s nothing for us lesbians to admire!”
“Us?”
“Me and Ruiko, duh.”
She held back laughter. Of course the two that go the most nuts over Shigeki are lesbians. Of course. Why not?
“So, who did you have in mind?”
Watari flushed, smirking at Mai.
“You, obviously!”
Mai felt warm just thinking about it. Embarrassing. She wasn’t like Shigeki, seemingly immune to shame.
“Not happening,” she said briskly.
“Argh,” Watari groaned, throwing her head back in exaggerated disappointment. “You know who would love it though?”
Her smile turned mischievous.
“Ya-na-gi~”
Mai laughed, but carefully turned the thought over in her mind. Shigeki stuttering at the table, putting his weight into his legs as he goes to get up to help. Mai pushing him back down into his seat with a smile. He’d implode, probably. It would be adorable.
And his reaction would be far more embarrassing than anything she could ever do.
“I can see you thinking about it!” Watari teased. “Seriously though, it’d be like Hasegawa serving ‘Toshi. It’d be so-”
“Hold on,” Mai interrupted. “Hasegawa serving ‘Toshi?”
Watari’s eyes widened. She paled.
“Oh my god, forget I said that, I didn’t say that!”
Mai in fact, did not forget that she said that. Instead, she rifled through her memories. Hasegawa’s jacket on his shoulders. Hasegawa’s weight supporting his. Hasegawa handing him a tea.
He’d been bright red, his eyebrows drawn tight as he tried to stamp down some kind of expression from showing up on his face.
The realisation made her grin.
Kazutoshi liked being served.
And, to be frank, Hasegawa owed her one.
Notes:
The fun thing about writing from Ojima's POV or about Ojima's feelings is that this man has no idea wtf he's feeling at any given time. For that, I love him more.
I cannot and will not stop slipping in little gay tidbits in there like is Hayashi gonna get with Tsuno? No. Can she gay panic a little, as a treat? HELL YEAH.
Also I am compiling a LOT of notes from staffside and terminals currently to make sure that the ending chapters of this fic make sense, so please excuse the fact that there may not be daily uploads for a while until I get everything in order.
Chapter 23: The Human Condition
Summary:
The students adjust to the new motive. Okazaki tells Tsuno that their contact will not be limited to the Killing Game.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Ken came back to the kitchen on wobbly feet, dirty plates in hand. He supposed he didn’t need to wash them, seeing as the end of the reprieve would just send them back to normal, but it felt nice. Like routine.
The water was warm. That warmth clambered up his hands, enveloping arms in a way that made him sigh with relief. His core felt far too sore, like he’d been freezing for a long time.
Kazutoshi was nervous, watching him leave the room, but gave him a sharp nod instead of voicing his concern. Ken appreciated it. He couldn’t handle any more heartfelt conversations today.
“Hasegawa.”
Fuck.
“Hayashi,” he replied meekly.
“Relax,” she said lazily. “I need a favour, that’s it.”
Despite himself, Ken went lax. Just a favour. That was it. She probably just wanted to know something.
He could do that.
“Do you remember the restaurant thing we did last time?”
Ken nodded. Kazutoshi had been smiling, open mouthed, the whole time. It was probably the happiest Ken had ever seen him.
“You’re serving this time. With me.”
He shivered at the thought. Eyes on him, cringing away when he forgot what he was meant to say. Laughing at his jitteriness.
“I’m really not comfortable-”
“You know what I wasn’t comfortable doing?” Hayashi interjected.
Ken knew the answer immediately. Dying. Right.
He hadn’t expected this to be how he tried to make it up to her. He considered her words. With her. He suspected that something about this was for Yanagi’s sake. He didn’t like the guy, but fine. It would keep the peace. Kazutoshi would at least be nice to him if he messed up, and he owed Hayashi a lot more than this.
“R-right. Oh…okay. I’ll do it.”
—
“Attention, all students,” Monomoko called.
Mai thought it was strange that the rabbit hadn’t shown up for once, instead opting to only verbally call to them. Maybe Shigeki wasn’t that far off in his assumptions.
“The motive reprieve is now coming to an end. Please prepare yourselves.”
She braced herself for the strange swooping motion that sizzled through her whenever they were teleported anywhere. It reminded her of how she felt when she was looking down at a big drop on a rollercoaster, waiting for the carriage to lurch forward.
The sheets of her bed were comforting at least. Shigeki squeezed his eyes shut, slowly opening them when they settled back into her bed.
She placed her chin on top of his head. His hair was so fluffy. So soft.
“Go back to sleep,” she said languidly.
“Attention, all students. Please report to the auditorium.”
“Oh for fucks sake-”
The motive announcement. Right. Stroppily, she stomped over to the auditorium, still in her pyjamas. She thought she’d have more time before the motive dropped.
Hunger.
It was hunger.
Her restaurant would have to wait until the motive reprieve.
–
Masanari flipped back and forth through his manga and groaned. He’d read it too many times now.
“I know right,” Miki said with a small laugh. “Even I want to read.”
“You’re not a big reader?” Masanari asked. She shook her head.
“Nah. The closest I get is these gardening magazines I have a subscription to. They’re really cool - I did a charity stream for conservation once and they reached out to me.”
“Oh! I was there for that one,” Masanari replied.
“You were? It was SO fun, I loved it!” she smoothed out her bangs. “It’s nice seeing the magazines, it reminds me of that stream.” She sat up straight, excited by something, bringing her hands to her chest. “And, if I could, I could, like, grow my own food! It teaches me how!”
“Really?” Manami asked, her mouth hanging open in a full smile. Masanari smiled himself. It was obvious with Manami whenever she thought something was admirable. It was like she had stars in her eyes, her face got all lit up.
She clearly thought that this was endlessly cool.
“Yeah!” she paused, hesitating about something. Slowly, she lowered her arms down to her lap. “Me and Airi were talking the other day - about setting little goals for ourselves. I…I want to garden, I think.”
“Aaah!” Manami squealed. “Miki that’s so cool!”
“It really is,” Masanari added. Miki’s grin somehow grew bigger, lifting up her rosy cheeks.
“I’d - I’d have to get a garden first,” she admitted, a little bashful as she turned away from the praise.
“If I get one wherever I’m moving you can use it,” Masanari volunteered.
“You’re moving?” Manami asked.
He shrugged.
“My landlord isn’t going to just let me stay. I haven’t paid rent in…well, a long time. I was already late on it before I got brought here.”
Manami frowned. At the same time, Miki gasped, pushing herself up onto her knees to clutch Masanari’s hands.
“We should move in together!”
“But…your house,” he said hollowly, not quite believing his own protest. She shrugged.
“My problem is the public,” she said lightly. “Doesn’t matter what house I’m in and…to be honest, it’s kind of ummm,” she paused. “Suffocating, living with my family, I guess.”
Masanari’s mouth fell open. She was serious.
“Not that I don’t love them!” she continued, squeezing his hands tighter. “I do! It’s just they don’t really understand…”
Manami placed a hand on Miki’s shoulder and squeezed.
“It’s okay, Miki, we get it.”
“Oh!” Miki exclaimed. “Manami, you should come too! If - if you want to…I mean,” she finished, all of a sudden shy. She was endlessly charming, Masanari thought.
Manami waved her off with a laugh.
“Sorry, but I’ve got a community to serve!” she said proudly.
“Then…then we’ll have a room for you,” Masanari replied. “Just for you, for when you come visit.”
Miki swirled back around, her attention fully on him.
“Is that a yes? Do you want to live together?”
Masanari laughed and nodded eagerly.
“Yeah! Yeah, I do.”
–
Loneliness gnawed at Nishino. She wasn’t used to it. Usually, she was barraged with siblings, responsibilities, teachers that wouldn’t get off her back, and then her friends.
Everything had always gone so fast for her.
Now? It had slowed to a stop. A literal stop when she died. She supposed now her life was meant to be starting up again, ready to chug along.
But when she got out of here, what did she have?
Those fleeting moments of fun, excitement and laughter didn’t give her much comfort in here. Genuine connection? Maybe, with her siblings, but she couldn’t pretend that resentment didn’t singe the corners of that affection.
She groaned and curled up more, pulling the blanket over her head. Darkness enveloped her. What a shitty motive.
At least she was used to a lack of privacy. She could camp out in the storage room just fine.
She hated being alone. Getting in her head like this was bad for her. She knew that.
The stupid shelf reminded her of Hanano, now.
‘Thinking that I can’t love you anymore is haunting,’ she had said. Hanano had definitely haunted her. Not her love, lingering around Nishino’s skin, chilling her to the bone. No.
Nishino’s love for Hanano. It remained, pumping through her bloodstream until she took her final breath.
Nishino’s own love for the girl had tormented her. How she had trusted her implicitly, foolishly, recklessly.
The others talked about going home, and she couldn’t see it. Her future was blank. Void. Her sister would grow up having to look after them all, because Nishino was done.
It had hardly felt like her own choice. She felt her body moving, detached from her own mind. Only when the fire began did she feel present, shrieking and spasming, the pain consuming her whole.
She didn’t have any coherent last thoughts, but she remembered relief swooping through her body. Finally, she didn’t have to think.
Someone coughed politely.
“Come in,” she called out. Her voice was a little hoarse. She hadn’t spoken in a while. Yanagi tentatively stepped into the room, his hands behind his back.
“Miss Watari, are you alright?”
She popped her head out of her blanket and gave him a flat look.
“Fantastic,” she snarked.
“Right, I thought so,” he said smoothly, bringing his arms to his front. He was holding something up. She squinted. “Which is why I brought this.”
His cassette player.
She gaped.
“We are the only two dancers here, after all,” he finished, placing it on the floor. She softened, laughing as she untangled herself from her sheets. Jumping down, she raced over to the player and giggled.
“Only if I can lead,” she replied, pulling her hair out of her face.
“Of course, my lady.”
She blew air out of her nose in place of laughter. Yanagi was endlessly funny.
Like last time, Nishino couldn’t help but notice that the music was more her speed. A little slower, relaxed, to contrast with the vitality of her fire. She took Yanagi’s hand in hers and grinned at the differences between their movements.
He was all fleeting hand gestures, core tense but willing to be spun away at a moment's notice. His upper and lower body didn’t quite move in tandem - he was clearly used to the ice below him.
For her, fire was always her partner to lead. It blinded her when it passed her face, the heat pleasant and tingling her skin. She’d pull it closer and push it away, mesmerised by the way it flickered, dimming and brightening, alive in her hands.
Now, it was Yanagi. He had his performance face on, gleeful but concentrated as he spun away from her, holding his pose as they dipped.
She giggled as she tugged him back up. Sometimes, with fire as her only partner, she forgot how good it felt to dance with someone else. Someone who could laugh, who could direct and independently compliment your movements.
Only when they almost hit the shelf mid-spin did they stop, sweating as they sank to the floor.
The soft music replayed, muffled by distance as the speaker sat at the other end of the room.
“Thanks for that, Yanagi,” she said quietly.
“Of course.”
–
Keizou sighed in contentment. The laundry room was always a relaxing place for him. The washing machine thudded against the wall as it spun, as if it was trying to get away. Maybe that panicked movement shouldn’t bring him comfort, but it did.
Fabric softener tickled his nose and he rubbed it, settling next to the warm machine. He wrapped his arms around his knees and closed his eyes.
Sawa didn’t like the sound of washing machines. She would never have come in here.
This was the one place that her ghost wouldn’t haunt.
He cracked an eye open when he heard a bang and a groan. Hasegawa’s face was tied up in a grimace, instinctively leaning away from the doorframe. He must’ve flinched into it.
“Sorry!” Keizou called. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It-it’s okay.”
Slowly, very slowly, Hasegawa carried the laundry basket to the front of a machine and placed it down. He seemed wholly concentrated on the task in a way that was unlike him. No cautious, stilted movements. No darting eyes.
Keizou frowned. Yukino used to get like this, sometimes. When she was really sad about something.
“Um…are you okay?”
Hasegawa nodded without looking at him. Keizou squeezed his backpack straps, brow furrowing.
“Do you never get freaked out by animals?”
“Not really…I don’t work with scary animals all that much, to be honest. I mean, even scary animals are usually pretty alright. Like a shoebill!”
It was almost like watching Hasegawa boot up. Like a little computer.
“Young shoebills actually make a sound that is eerily similar to human hiccups,” he recited, hands clasped at his front. Like he was on a quiz show. Keizou grinned.
“Yeah! That’s cute, right?”
Hasegawa mumbled something under his breath. Keizou decided to ignore it.
“Well, their beak clattering sounds like machine guns so I guess that does turn people off,” Keizou continued sheepishly. “But, they aren’t even aggressive! They don’t really like humans all that much, they tend to avoid us.”
Hasegawa nodded.
“I think the only reason people are scared of them is that they’re so tall. I mean, for a bird,” Keizou knew he was rambling, but Hasegawa’s shoulders were lowering. He was relaxing. Slowly. “I don’t really get the logic. The same thing has to apply to, well, all tall birds then, right? Like ostriches. Emus.”
“Flamingos,” Hasegawa volunteered, his lips twitching upwards.
“Yeah!” Keizou shuffled so his body was facing Hasegawas. “To be honest, I was a little freaked out by ostriches. Something about their legs being so…familiar, I guess? Don’t tell anyone I said that, though! It’s a bit embarrassing.”
Hasegawa laughed. It was a polite laugh, but still. It’s better than nothing.
“Sorry, I’m rambling,” Keizou hastily apologised, shaking his head at himself. “You just remind me of my girlfriend.”
Hasegawa froze.
“Girl?- Girlfriend?...”
Keizou flushed, eyes wide as he nervously laughed.
“Not like that!” he exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his hands. “Not like that at all! Just…you have similar personalities? Sorry, that came out completely wrong!”
“O-oh! I-I- I’m sorry for assuming!”
He was pale, avoiding eye contact once more. Keizou felt so, so bad.
“No, I worded it wrong, it's fine,” he responded, a little more frantically than he meant to. “I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”
Hasegawa swallowed.
“I-its fine. I’ll, um…take it as a compliment?”
“You should!” Keizou said eagerly. He couldn’t wait to see her again. His Yukino. Forever wearing floral patterns, her hands gliding smoothly along paper, excitedly showing him her new project. “She’s someone I admire a lot.”
It was selfish, but sometimes he wished she was here with him. It felt like he had lost a limb.
–
Manami was not a doctor. She was the most qualified out of all of them, sure, but she wasn’t even close. First aid training didn’t cover brands, or long term care of stab wounds.
She was always inevitably meant to pass the patient onto someone else. Someone more capable.
That wasn’t an option here, though. Leaving Okazaki to take care of her own stab wound was inadvisable.
Her hands were shaking. Okazaki’s door loomed over her. In the back of her mind, she knew she didn’t want to do this. Just seeing Okazaki made Manami feel twitchy, on the edge of something violent and unstable. The feeling brought back too many memories.
She knocked, and the door creaked open. Immediately.
Okazaki hadn’t locked it.
Gently, she pushed at the door, cringing as the wood groaned. The air was still. Completely still. As if no one had been here in a long time. Tentatively, she took a step into the room, sparing a glance at the open bathroom door.
Nothing.
The bed wasn’t made, but the sheets were cold when she touched them. Manami frowned. Turning back to the bathroom, she could see a bundle of medical supplies on the countertop. They were probably from Watari.
She swallowed down her guilt. It wasn’t fair that Watari had to bring her supplies. It was Manami’s job.
A shadow spread across the carpet.
“It’s rude to enter someone's room without permission.”
Okazaki stood in the hallway, hands in her pockets. So casual. So unrepentant.
“Sorry,” she responded, stretching out a strained smile. “I wanted to check on your hand and your door was open. I was worried.”
Her left hand twitched in its pocket.
“You’re worried about me?”
Her voice was high and breathy in a way that was unlike her. Manami gestured to the desk chair, motioning for her to sit.
“It’s a stab wound, Okazaki,” Manami said firmly. “Of course I’m worried.”
Her eyes darted to the first aid kit Manami had placed on the desk. There wasn’t exactly enough to help, really. The most she could do is ease the pain.
Okazaki seemed to hesitate before sitting.
‘I already knew that.’ The words swirled around in Manami’s head. Her mind had snagged on the thought. She hadn’t been able to let it go. Once or twice, she had opened her mouth, the question on her tongue during the motive reprieve. Caution held her back.
“I’m going to undo your bandages now, okay?”
Kneeling was easier for this, but she felt uneasy as she lowered herself to the ground. Already, Okazaki seemed much taller. How did Masa feel with Okazaki towering over him in the computer lab?
Okazaki didn’t grace her with an answer, watching Manami’s face intently. Most people watched her hands. She hummed when the bandages finally came off.
“Tell me if this hurts, okay? I just want to look a little closer at it to make sure it’s not going to get infected.”
Gently, she held Okazaki’s hand up. If she was squeamish at all, she’d be like Nagawa right now. Ojima had been hasty, and the wound reflected that. Dried blood crusted onto the skin surrounding it, as if Okazaki had somehow irritated the wound.
“Currently it looks fine,” Manami said brightly. “It looks like you’ve strained it, but as long as you keep up with whatever you’re doing, you won’t have to worry about infection!”
“Careful, Tsuno. You told little Izu that and his wound got infected.”
Izu. A little boy who lived two streets away from her. He was prone to roughhousing and was on his bike more than he was on his own two feet. Scrapes, bumps and bruises were always what he came to her for. One day she had been flustered and busy and didn’t look properly at his injury. She’d felt so guilty when he’d returned from the doctors, and had bought him some shiny bike stickers as an apology.
Being a kid, he was all too eager to accept them.
“How do you know that?”
Her voice came out smaller than she would’ve liked.
“We live in the same city.”
Manami swallowed. Right. She had a flashy superhero gimmick. Even in a city, she’d be pretty easy to identify, and she’d been pretty loud about her guilt in that particular instance.
“Right,” she said with an awkward laugh, positioning a fresh bandage on her hand. “Can you hold that there?”
It unnerved her that Okazaki didn’t respond, just holding the bandage as instructed. She was still looking at Manami’s face. Maybe she had a thing about hands?
She wrapped it around once before the air swelled, as if Okazaki was about to speak. She tensed.
Someone was walking down the hallway. Strangely, she didn’t want anyone to see them like this. It felt strangely intimate.
“I wonder how Miss Suzuki is doing without your deliveries,” Okazaki said suddenly. Manami jerked, tugging the bandage tighter than she meant to. Okazaki winced.
“Sorry! I just…I’m surprised. You know her too? Do you live close by?”
Okazaki stilled. Manami looked up at her, but she didn’t react. Fine then, she thought, wrapping the bandage around again. If she wants to be weird and creepy and not explain anything, that’s fine.
The jitteriness was back. As if she’d had too much coffee. Was this how Hasegawa felt all the time?
“Tsuno~”
Manami kept wrapping the bandage, flicking her eyes up at the woman. She paused when she saw it. Okazaki’s mouth.
She had lifted the mask up just a little. The shadow from said mask hung in an oval shape across her jaw. Her lips were stretched into a grin.
“It’s funny when you pretend not to know me.”
Manami reached for scissors to cut the bandage with. She had wrapped it enough now. She didn’t want to restrict movement.
“I don’t know you,” she said calmly, cutting the bandage with a quiet snip. The scissors clinked as she placed them back on the desk. Okazaki giggled. Her teeth were white. Straight. Not what Manami had expected.
None of this was what she had expected. With a slow, calming breath, she reminded herself it didn’t matter. Not right now, with a wound in front of her. Finish up, leave, she thought. Finish up, leave.
Okazaki reached out, gently running her fingers through Manami’s hair. Sweat slid down her neck. She just had to finish up. Then she could leave.
“I know you, Tsuno Manami.”
Secure the bandage. Leave. Her knees were sore from kneeling for so long. Why had this taken so long?
“I know Mr Kobayashi makes you nervous, but you help him anyway. I know Miss Sato reminds you of your auntie. Little Ito? I’ve seen how you look at her. You,” she leaned forward. Manami could only see her smile. “Are fascinating, Manami.”
She flinched like she’d been struck, unable to stop herself. Okazaki’s breath was on her face. First names had never felt like an attack before. It was always a pleasant surprise, being called by her first name by someone she didn’t even know she was close to.
This? She shivered. It unnerved her.
“How do you know all that?”
Her voice was sharp, a little scratchy in the way it always was when she got emotional. Okazaki’s breath was hot on her earlobe.
“I know a lot more,” she whispered. “Your sweet little family walk on eggshells around you, don’t they? Maybe it’s because you’re never vulnerable around them. Not anymore.”
“Don’t talk about my family.”
She huffed, as if Manami was being unreasonable. Bushes rustling, doors locking and unlocking without her knowledge, the ever-present feeling of eyes on her back. The paranoia that consumed her some nights, hiding under her quilt, was unfounded. She’d messed up her brain somehow. It was unfounded.
“I’ll behave in here,” Okazaki continued, as if Manami hadn’t even spoken. Fury slithered up her throat. She bit her tongue. “But when we get out? I’ll be seeing a lot of you, Manami. Even if you don’t see me.”
Finish up, leave. Finish up, leave.
Okazaki leaned back in her chair and secured her own bandage. Manami was frozen to the spot, recontextualising her anxiety, reshaping memories that had apprehensively tugged at her subconscious.
Her knees were sore. She was going to be wobbly getting up. She had been right. She hadn’t been sleepwalking, making herself a coffee for the morning.
It wasn’t some dumb prank being played on her - she was genuinely being followed.
Breathing became harder. It felt like the stillness of the room had forced itself down her throat. It ballooned there, bruising the insides. She felt bruised all over.
Okazaki hummed. She’d pulled her mask back down. She was looking down at Manami, enraptured. Manami stumbled to her feet, using the desk as a support.
Quickly, she scooped up her supplies. Her heart pounded as she scrambled, her limbs feeling somewhat detached. She had been right, and that was so much worse.
She had to leave.
Notes:
Fr I am actually scared of ostriches their legs are FREAKY
also you all were right about Okazaki scheming last chapter but YOU DONT NEED TO CALL IT OUT she was being GOOD for once
Also yes Hayashi is using her 'you murdered me' privileges for the stupidest shit its funnier that way
Chapter 24: Ignoring the Human Condition
Summary:
Some students ask for help. Others receive it regardless of whether or not they asked.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Manami clung to her bathroom countertop.
“Monomoko?” she called.
She expected the scuffling sound behind her, and yet she still jumped. Her face was blotchy and red. Monomoko was unusually silent.
“Monomoko, the bedroom doors are unlockable, aren’t they? They’re unlockable, right?”
She cringed at her own voice, thin and unsteady with panic.
“That is correct.”
“Okay.” She squeezed the edge of her sink, the porcelain cooling her sweaty fingers. “Okay. Thank you.”
Its ear twitched.
“It is no problem. I have another matter to attend to.”
It disappeared, as quickly as it came. The cape felt like it was strangling her. Too tight. Everything was too tight. Too much.
Getting changed felt perverse, somehow. When someone could be watching her, it was a different experience. She swallowed.
She’d never had this problem before.
She had been right. Delirious, violent and angry, but right. What else was she right about when she was out of her mind?
Maybe Kobayashi was getting too close, lingering where he shouldn’t, always asking about her sewing. Maybe her family did resent her, quietly hoping she would stay at rehab forever. Ito was selfish, Sato was weak.
Everyone wants something.
Maybe she wasn’t seeing the worst in people, then. Maybe she was just seeing the truth.
Tugging at her hair, she tried to remain present. Time had a tendency to run away from her, here. She opened her bedroom door quickly, and then looked both ways. The hallway was empty.
She walked towards the kitchen, trying to keep herself from going too fast. She didn’t want to look desperate. Weak.
“Tsuno?”
She jerked away from the sound. Mai.
“Hey,” she said lightly. She stood up a little straighter when her voice didn’t wobble. Nice.
“You’re up late,” Mai responded. She was lounging in one of the chairs, sipping a cup of tea. She was in her pyjamas. They were looser than her usual clothing. It made her look softer. She raised an eyebrow when Manami didn’t respond.
“Um, yeah. I couldn’t sleep well, I guess,” she said it sheepishly, the way she usually would, but Mai kept staring directly at Manami’s mouth. She enlarged her smile, but it felt stiff. Unnatural.
Her face twinged, and she knew she had given herself away. Mai sat up properly.
“What’s wrong?”
“Noth-”
“Don’t lie to me, I’m not Tamba. What’s wrong?”
Manami opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Frustrated, she closed it again.
“Sit,” Mai commanded. Manami sank down into the chair opposite her. “For real though, what’s wrong? Is it something I need to handle?”
“It’s really not-”
Mai groaned.
“I’ll be more specific. Is it Okazaki?”
Manami froze.
“...No?”
Mai put all her weight forward, as if she was about to get up, her drink abandoned. Manami pulled at her wrist and desperately shook her head.
“No, no, I promise. It’s about her but it’s not…she didn’t do anything!”
Tentatively, she adjusted back into the comfortable position she was previously in, her eyes narrowed.
Manami pushed aside her own disbelief. Why would she lie about this? Was she really so desperate for peace within the group that she’d actively sabotage her own life? Why? What was the point? Frustration made her hands shake. Firmly, she tried to grab one with the other, willing it to still.
“Do you ever think that maybe you were right to see the worst in people?”
She looked away. She didn’t want to see Mai’s reaction to such an out of character question. Not really.
“Yeah. People suck, Tsuno. You know this.”
“Not all-”
She cut herself off when she realised her response was automatic. Unfeeling. Hayashi didn’t deserve a careless response.
Pushing her red hair back over her shoulders, Hayashi sighed.
“Listen, I’m gonna level with you. I’m not the person to talk to about seeing the best in people, yeah? I don’t. I don’t think I ever will. I think that mostly, people suck. We all want something, and we’re selfish enough to ignore each other to get it.”
Manami huffed.
“That’s comforting.”
Hayashi grimaced.
“I…I’m not good at this, okay? People do suck, but…sometimes they don’t. That’s worth something.”
Manami nodded, still cradling one hand in the other.
“Thanks, Mai. I’m really glad you’re here.”
Mai blushed, turning away to scowl into her mug.
“Yeah, whatever.”
Manami stood up and gestured to the kettle. When Mai nodded, she swiped her mug and pulled out one for herself. They were all so painfully plain here. When she was out of here, she wanted-
She blinked. She couldn’t think about that right now. Not with Okazaki’s grin fresh in her mind.
Mai’s herbal tea smelled calming, but Manami knew that if she slept, the dreams wouldn’t be pleasant.
Mai perked up at the smell of coffee, though.
“Tsuno,” she warned, staring at the coffee bag held between her forefinger and thumb. Manami dropped it into the mug. “Tsuno, if I have to tie you to the bed to make you sleep I will do it.”
—
Hitomi passed the kitchen on the way to Takeshi’s room. How many people is Hayashi going to have in her bed? The thought almost made her smile as she continued on.
The hallway seemed stagnant, filled with stale air. She felt like she was trapped beneath a pond so covered in algae that even pondskaters avoided it. No life breathed beneath that vibrant green.
Maybe that’s how it was here. She’d heard Hasegawa whispering about them being underground.
Maybe, just above them, there was vibrant green. Evergreen trees, huge elderflower stalks that hovered just by her chin. Birds hopping on the ground, unaware of the fact that 16 human children were trapped beneath its tiny, fragile feet.
She felt like Takeshi, fantasising like this. She knocked at the door.
Hiroaki groaned and shuffled over.
“Oh, it’s just you,” he said quietly, before retreating back to his seat. He was so…mellow. Maybe he was always like this with Takeshi around. In all fairness, Takeshi had that kind of effect on her too. “He’s gone, by the way. I don’t know when he’ll be back.”
He nodded at the bed as he said it. She frowned when she saw him. Slumped on the bed with a pillow neatly placed behind his back, was Takeshi. His eyes were blank. He was completely checked out.
“Right,” she said quietly. “I’ll come back later then.”
Hiroaki gave her a strange look, but must have noticed something in her expression, because he dropped it. Briskly, she walked out of the room and down the hallway.
She couldn’t just return to her room. It wouldn’t work, not on her own. But Takeshi was away and Hiroaki sure as hell couldn’t do it with his fear of blood. Her shoes clacked on the kitchen tiles. Dipping her head a little, she began to pace. Back and forth, back and forth. The repetition was comforting.
Who else could she even trust? Someone else touching her like that, even medically…she shuddered.
“Sasaki?”
Hitomi gasped, flinching away from the noise.
“Sorry,” they both said. Watari laughed. She was in her pyjamas. Her hair was messy, and she smelled a little. Hitomi thought she seemed a little less listless than usual though.
“Are you okay?” Watari asked tentatively.
Hitomi hesitated. Watari was impulsive, and tended to not take things seriously. At least, that’s what she remembered from the last time around.
But during Decision Game, she had been so careful with Hitomi. She’d taken charge, getting obedience out of Hiroaki. She’d given Hitomi her coat without making it a big deal.
“I…”
“Sasaki, you’re crying!”
Hitomi slowly reached up to touch her face. It was wet. She hadn’t realised how far away she’d felt from her body. Now that she had noticed though, it was hard to stop. Her legs ached, like she had been tense for too long. Her fingers were stiff and took a second longer than they should’ve to move like she wanted them to.
“Oh.”
Watari stumbled over to her with less grace than Hitomi had expected. Her amber eyes were wide as she surveyed Hitomi’s face.
“Sasaki…did something happen?”
Guilt flashed across Watari’s face for long enough for Hitomi to recognise what ‘something’ was code for. Okazaki.
‘You enjoyed it, right?’
Hitomi’s face spasmed at the memory. The cold air on her back, Okazaki’s breath on her ear. He hadn’t been occupied with her pleasure. And still. Her body had reacted.
He had commented on it. Often.
“I need help,” she blurted out. It came out quicker than she meant it to.
“Okay - with what?”
Hitomi hesitated again. Watari was an athlete. If she wanted to overpower Hitomi, she could.
“I…I need help cleaning my back.”
Watari deflated, not allowing Hitomi any time to wonder why before she spoke.
“Oh thank God, I thought you were gonna ask me something difficult. I can totally do that! I mean, we’ve both got back injuries, right?”
Hitomi frowned.
“...That’s right. How have you been cleaning yours?”
“Manami helps me out,” Watari said with a shrug. “She’s super professional about it, if you did wanna ask her.”
No. The thought wrapped itself around her mind before she could stop it. She didn’t trust Tsuno. She hadn’t spoken to her enough, and, to be frank, Tsuno had every reason to hate her. She had killed Tsuno’s friend.
“I don’t,” she said quickly. Watari opened her mouth, so Hitomi kept speaking. “Do you have time now?”
“Uh, yeah,” she replied, giving Hitomi an odd look. That’s fine, Hitomi thought. People often thought that she was weird. Uptight, confusing and emotional. She understood that. Every time Watari lagged behind, lingering two steps behind her, she wanted to snap.
The door locked behind them. Hitomi tried to keep her face neutral. Her heart pounded. This wasn’t fair. Nothing about this was fair.
“Sasaki…how have you been cleaning your back?”
Hitomi froze. Slowly, she turned to face her. Watari was leaning forward slightly, an inquisitive look on her face. Her head was tilted a little to the left.
“Ojima helped me,” she said flatly. “He’s away now, though.”
“Takeshi, huh…” Watari mumbled, looking at the ground. She perked back up a second later. “Right, how are we doing this? Do you want a full shower or just a wipedown?”
Hitomi blinked. Watari seemed completely casual, running her eyes over Hitomi’s room as she spoke. Hitomi could feel her holding back questions and comments about how she had organised it.
“A full shower would be best,” she said firmly.
“Okay,” Watari agreed. “You get undressed and I’ll get the towels. They’re in the wardrobe right?”
“Yeah.”
Hitomi stepped into the bathroom and took her socks off. The floor was frigid beneath her feet. It reminded her of rain. She wished she could hear it, tapping on her window at home. She wished she was there to feed her fish. She wished Tomoko was there to call her at six o’clock like usual, telling her to take a study break.
Usually, her study break consisted of her opening a window and having a piece of fruit. She’d stay on call with Tomoko for around fifteen minutes. Any less than that and she’d end up with endless missed calls and a very angry friend.
She loved it when it rained. The sound of the rain hitting the ground, the smell of it as she leaned against her window, was enchanting. Watching her fish swim back and forth, their scales occasionally catching the light, she’d sigh happily into the speaker. Tomoko would then also get very happy.
She’s a good friend, Hitomi thought. She wondered how she was doing without her.
Hitomi looked in the mirror and took a breath. Now was the hard part. Her shirt. It was easier with Takeshi because he’d found her without it on in the first place. She hadn’t had to think about him finding her. It was a surprise.
“Got it,” Watari called. “Can I come in?”
Hitomi paused. With a shaky breath, she quickly lifted the fabric over her head. She wanted to cry. Fear clogged up her throat. She forced her expression into something neutral.
“Yes.”
Watari opened the door and nodded at her, keeping her eyes firmly on Hitomi’s face. Hitomi’s mouth wobbled. She clenched her jaw. Get through this, she thought. You can cry when she’s gone.
“You aren’t one of those cold shower grindset weirdos, right?” she asked, placing the towels on the countertop.
“I don’t even know what that is,” Hitomi said simply.
“Thank god for that,” Watari said with a laugh. “Stay innocent!”
Hitomi didn’t know how to respond to that.
“Um…okay.”
“How comfortable are you with me taking off some clothes?” Watari asked, looking at her seriously. “I don’t wanna be totally soaked going back to my room.”
Hitomi paused. That’s something she hadn’t thought about with Takeshi. He could’ve gotten sick. She fumbled with her own guilt. She needed to be more considerate. How on earth was she supposed to be a leader when-
“Sasaki? It’s okay, I don’t have to take anything off.”
“No!” Hitomi interrupted. “I’m sorry, I was thinking about something else. I’m fine with it. Take off whatever you want.”
“Okay,” Watari said slowly. “I’ll just keep my underwear on, then. Is that alright?”
“You don’t have to keep checking with me, I said it’s fine!” Hitomi snapped. Her fingers began to shake. She balled her hands into fists and hoped it was less noticeable.
“I-I’m just trying to-” Watari took a breath. “Sorry. I don’t really know how to deal with this. I’m used to cleaning kids who always change their minds about everything. You aren’t a kid. I shouldn’t treat you like one.”
Hitomi swallowed. She couldn’t look Watari in the eye.
“Sorry,” she said, nausea making the word come out shaky. Shakily, she inhaled slowly. Then exhaled. “I just need this done quickly.”
“Okay.”
She heard shuffling behind her, the sound of clothes hitting a surface. The showerhead holes were slightly darker than the metal bit of the shower. She began to count them. Six per row. Six rows. Thirty-six holes. Count them again. No one was he- Watari was here. It was just her and Watari. Watari wouldn’t do anything.
“Okay, ready,” Watari called. Hitomi stuck her hand in the stream of water and nodded. It was warm enough. She stepped into it and tried not to shake. Watari stepped in behind her, adjusting her position when Hitomi tensed. She stood to the side of her instead.
“Your shoulders are shaking,” Watari said, her voice thick with worry.
“I’m fine.”
“You aren’t washing your hair.”
“Just…” the world got blurrier. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She wanted to scratch her skin off. This was unbearable. “Give me…give me a minute.”
“I can do it for you,” Watari offered. Hitomi swallowed, and finally looked her in the eye. In response, she gave Hitomi a small smile. Hopeful. Watari was always hopeful. “My siblings still ask for help with it sometimes. They know how to do it themselves, to be honest I think they just like the attention.”
“Oh…okay,” Hitomi said, her voice thinner and shakier than she thought it would be.
A bottle cap clicked as it opened. The sound echoed a little. Watari’s body had goosebumps all over it. She wasn’t standing in the water at all.
“Your siblings seem pretty attached to you,” Hitomi said quietly.
“Yeah,” Watari said. “I’m going to rub the shampoo into your scalp now, okay?” Hitomi hummed in response. “My parents don’t really look after them, and my older brother doesn’t want to, so…I kind of have to.”
Hitomi frowned.
“That’s a lot of responsibility.”
“Yeah,” Watari agreed, her movements becoming more forceful. “My Mum’s pregnant again too. I told her to stop. She isn’t gonna look after the baby anyway. I’m just…it makes me mad. I don’t get to do anything I want to.”
“I can imagine. How do you handle that alongside school?”
Watari paused, just for a second. She began to move her fingers again.
“My grades…could be better. I barely have enough time for dance, to be honest.”
Hitomi’s frustration bubbled. Watari could be great academically, she thought. She was incredibly well rounded, and clearly had enough smarts to be able to pull herself through difficult problems.
And yet, it was an undeniable reality that she would only get average grades. It would be impossible to expect her to raise children and get top grades at her age. Hitomi mourned for her potential future, and wondered if Watari had done the same.
How many opportunities would be shut down for her because of that? Opportunities that she more than deserved?
“That’s unfair. I’m sorry you have to go through that, Watari.”
Watari sighed. Her hands slipped away from Hitomi’s scalp.
“Put your head back under the water.” Hitomi followed her instruction. “Yeah, it’s annoying. Grades aren’t everything, but…still.”
Grades aren’t everything, Hitomi thought. Sure. But when a ‘slip’ in her grades resulted in the most tortuous moments of her life, she couldn’t help but cling to them like a lifeline.
“I could help you,” Hitomi said impulsively. “I tutor people often enough to have a solid syllabus.”
Watari laughed and shook her head.
“Nah, it’s okay. I’m not that smart, anyway.”
Hitomi frowned.
“I don’t believe that.”
Watari stared at her, wide eyed, her face going slack for a second.
“You’re just being nice.”
“I’m not nice.”
That was something she was painfully aware of. Frequently, Anri had to tell her to tone it down in meetings. She was too blunt. Straightforward in a way that made people uncomfortable.
At least it was useful for moments like this.
“Um,” Watari laughed nervously. “Thanks. I…uh. Your body needs washing now. I understand you probably won’t be comfortable with me doing that, I can just do your back if you want.”
The emphasis she put on ‘me’ weirded her out. Hitomi furrowed her brows.
“Uncomfortable with you specifically? Why?” Hitomi turned around fully to face her, taking a step forward. Irritation scraped at her throat. Her voice turned scratchy. “What did you do?”
Watari put her hands up in a defensive way. It reminded Hitomi of Isono.
“Nothing! I just…I, you know…”
She trailed off, raising her eyebrows at Hitomi meaningfully.
“No, I don’t know.”
“I’m a lesbian,” Watari said simply.
“Okay?”
“So you might be uncomfortable with me washing you,” Watari said, like it was obvious.
“Why would I be? Takeshi washed my back and it was fine.”
“I-but,” Watari stuttered. She glanced down at the floor, eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t know! It’s just something people get weird about, I guess.”
“I’m not homophobic, Watari,” Hitomi said bluntly.
“I-I wouldn’t call it homophobia.”
“How is it not homophobia?” Watari didn’t answer. “What is it then?”
“I - y’know…it’s…understandable caution with someone who could be attracted to you. Especially after what you’ve been thro-”
“We aren’t talking about me right now,” Hitomi interjected. “We’re talking about you. Ojima could also be attracted to me. He didn’t do anything.”
“I’m just saying I’d understand if-”
“Watari,” Hitomi interrupted. She was reaching the end of her patience. “What happened to me wasn’t about attraction.”
Watari looked humbled, shrinking in on herself and avoiding Hitomi’s gaze. Hitomi sighed. She’d hurt her feelings, somehow.
“Listen, I-” she took a second. “I’m stressed right now. I’m still…trying to heal. I’m trusting you, okay? I don’t need you doubting that trust right now.”
Watari straightened up. “Okay,” she said firmly. “Okay. I’ll be quick.”
The tension in the room lightened considerably when the soap made contact with her skin.
“Talk to me when you’re cleaning my back. Please.”
Watari nodded and continued. She was quick, clinical in a way that demonstrated practice. Hitomi wondered what she could possibly do to help Watari in return.
“Any preference on what I talk about?”
“Anything but Hayashi, please.”
“Now THAT’S homophobic!”
Hitomi laughed, surprised at the sound as it left her mouth. The soap had reached her shoulder blades.
Takeshi and Watari. She could trust them. For now.
–
Ken had been weird all day. Kazutoshi had watched him stare at the same page for way, way too long. He reminded him of Ojima. Completely checked out.
“Ken?” Takeshi had asked, confused when he hadn’t responded. He had looked to Kazutoshi for an answer, but he’d just shrugged. This was Ken’s business. He wasn’t about to air it out without permission.
Still, though. When Ken had gathered up the laundry in a basket, Kazutoshi was really worried. Ken never remembered to do this kinda thing.
He’d waited anxiously in Ken’s room. The desk had coffee rings littered all over it. The textbook mountain, as Kazutoshi called it, was shaking as he wiped the desk down. At that point, he decided that the whole room needed to be cleaned.
Ken came back to the room a little while later, an empty basket in hand.
“O-Oh, you’ve cleaned,” he said in lieu of a greeting.
“This place was a shithole. I had to.”
“N-No you don’t! I was gonna get around to it eventually!” he protested sheepishly. It was cute. Kazutoshi breathed a sigh of relief.
“You’re back to normal again,” he said with raised eyebrows.
“I…um,” Ken hesitated. “Yeah.” Kazutoshi dropped it. He could recognise when someone didn’t wanna talk about something, unlike half the people in this fucking building.
He shivered.
“I feel cold all the time now.”
He said it like a statement, but looked at Ken inquisitively. Ken always knew what was actually a question and what wasn’t with him. It made him feel understood.
“Probably because you’re hungry,” he said quietly, settling into bed. He often got into bed without changing into pyjamas. Kazutoshi thought it was super weird, but Ken hadn’t stopped even with Kazutoshi's teasing.
“That’s a thing?”
Ken hummed in response, and Kazutoshi noted the lack of an explanation for what it was. Exhaustion. He settled under the covers and looked at Kazutoshi hesitantly. Then looked away. Then looked back at him again.
“What do you want?”
Ken flushed.
“Can you stay here?”
“I need to sleep, Ken.”
“I know.”
Oh. OH. Kazutoshi’s brain stalled, but his body moved. He got under the covers. WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE DOING. Ken sighed contentedly, a small smile pushing his cheeks up just a little. They were still flushed. Still adorable.
Kazutoshi stayed silent. Until he realized Ken wouldn’t break the silence. The air was thick with tension. Fuck. He kicked Ken with his foot.
“Ah!” Ken giggled. “Your feet are so cold!”
Kazutoshi kicked him again.
“Ah, stop it!”
His laugh was sweet. Breathy and thin, as if he was always surprised at the sensation. Kazutoshi softened.
“Kazutoshi?”
“Hm?”
“I’m sorry for making you worry today.”
“Shut up.”
“I am, though!”
“God, I believe you, just shut up.”
Ken huffed, a smile still on his face. He seemed impossibly small like this. He always placed his head lower down on the bed than Kazutoshi did. It was cute.
Kazutoshi had snooped through some of Ken’s textbooks earlier. He, at first, wasn’t able to understand Ken’s handwriting. To put it politely, it was dogshit.
Then, he couldn’t understand any of what the man wrote.
“Hey, Ken,” he said absentmindedly. Ken looked up at him. “When we get out of here, don’t go to a uni with a ridiculously hard entrance exam, yeah? I can’t keep up with that shit.”
Ken narrows his eyes.
“Yes you can,” he said firmly, as if it was a fact. His face was blank, as if he was reciting something he had read. As if there was no room for an alternate opinion. Kazutoshi’s mouth fell open. Ken closed his eyes, breath evening out like he hadn’t just said something that Kazutoshi would play on repeat probably forever.
He had such steadfast faith in Kazutoshi. If they got out of here, his future looked bright. Normal. Domestic.
Lectures, study sessions, people laughing and joking with each other. With him. He didn’t know what to make of that.
It felt like a far off fantasy, something he was fooling himself about. But, as sleep came for him, he decided that if that fantasy is delusion, then he’ll be delusional. Just for that moment, at least.
Notes:
I hope you're all ready for Bartering Game! I've had this one in the works for a while so I'm super excited to post it!
Okazaki's fascination with the way trauma is experienced KILLS me. Her insistence about the fact that she never hurt Wada up until the computer lab instance just demonstrates so much to me about what she does and does not consider traumatic. Like girl I hate to break this to you but you are SO traumatised.
Chapter 25: Bartering Game
Summary:
The Bartering Game begins. A surprise rule makes the students stumble.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Monomoko waited in the auditorium. Soon, it would hear the students sleepily shuffle into the room. Tsuno Manami was already awake, waiting patiently at the end of the hallway so Hiroaki could yell out ‘FIRST!’ like always.
Tsuno Manami was good like that. Kind. She had seemed unbearably vulnerable the day before, shaking and crying as she held onto the bathroom countertop.
Fear. Monomoko knew it intimately.
So did the interns it didn’t want to think about. A lot of them were very young. Suga had died very young, out in the mountains. Still, just before he died, when he knew he was going to die, he spoke about his potential future.
Humans were hopeful like that.
It had always thought that pain had killed it. Kan, beating it for the simple pleasure of inflicting pain. It had died there, it thought.
Regret brought it back. It had created an idea of the students it had killed. They spoke of forgiveness. It was worse than if they were silent. Monomoko knew it wasn’t deserving of forgiveness.
After it had saved these students, maybe it should die. One of the scientists they had put on trial had said something similar. But then, death was not enough to become innocent. The ultimate loss, of every future that you could have had, was not enough.
Nothing was. Monomoko would always be guilty.
—
“Thankyou for arriving so quickly,” Monomoko said. Ran crossed his arms. This was gonna suck. “The rules of this game are more complicated than usual, so I would like your full attention please.”
“Everyone be quiet!” Sasaki yelled, giving a severe look to Kamimura when he kept talking.
“Thank you. Today you will be playing the Bartering Game. During each round, a student will be randomly assigned a punishment. If you choose to pass this punishment onto another student, you will receive food privileges for twenty-four hours. If you choose to take the punishment yourself, you will not receive food privileges. These privileges cannot be given away to other students.”
“I see. So this is how they plan to keep us alive with a hunger motive in place,” Sasaki said.
Hama thought about it. He would need to eat something, or Monomoko’s colleagues may notice that he wasn’t exactly starving to death. He locked eyes with Sasaki, who seemed to have reached the same conclusion.
“We all need to eat something,” she said firmly. Tamba gave her a confused look. Hitomi sighed, pinching the top of her nose. “The people running this game probably want us to wither away until we get frustrated enough to kill someone, right?”
“Right,” Tamba agreed. She seemed nervous, pushing her mouth out and biting on her lip incessantly. “But giving punishments away is gonna make people mad.” She glanced at Kamimura in a way that was not subtle at all.
“Maybe we should all decide on who gets the punishment, then,” Tsuno suggested. “If everyone carries equal blame for the decision, the punished will have no one in particular to target.”
Hama nodded. Tsuno was always full of good ideas. When she died, the place had felt dimmer. More horrific. It felt like justice had died with her.
Hiroaki stared at Tamba meaningfully.
“We don’t know when we’ll next have the opportunity to get food, Tamba,” he said slowly, spitting her name like it was an insult.
“Oh!” she said, realisation finally blanketing her features. “You’re right.”
“Well, I know who I’m giving mine to,” Hiroaki said smugly, smiling as he looked Okazaki in the eye.
“Okay, no,” Sasaki said. “That’s not happening. We are not doing that.”
“Oh fuck off,” Hiroaki cried. “Why shouldn’t we? She’s done nothing but fuck with us since we got here!”
“I know that!” Sasaki yelled back. “You think I’m not mad at her? I’m furious with her! But that doesn’t mean I’m willing to torture her over it!”
“You might not be,” Hasegawa said, hatred lacing his tone. She whirled around to face the man.
“I’m not. I have morals, thanks. You should too,” she pointed at him, jabbing her finger into his chest. Kamimura stepped forward, slapping her hand away.
“Don’t touch him! Besides, aren’t you pissed about what she said to you during Decision Game?”
“I just said that I AM pissed,” Sasaki gritted out. “But I’m mature enough to put my feelings aside. I mean it, no one should be taking more than one punishment.”
Kamimura laughed, stepping into her space.
“What’re you gonna do if we don’t stick to that?” he asked, with an angry smile. “Not like you can make us.”
“Sure,” Sasaki said lightly. “But Hayashi can.”
“Huh - what?” Mai reeled back. “Who said I’m taking orders from you?”
“I did,” Sasaki said simply. “Aren’t you all about justice? I imagine you’d be doing it anyway.”
Mai bristled, tensing and untensing as she loomed over Sasaki.
“I’m not just going to intimidate people-”
“You weren’t above it during the Cage Game,” Sasaki said smoothly, completely undeterred by the much, much stronger girl. Hama admired her bravery.
“You-!”
“Guys!” Isono interjected, her voice a little higher than usual. When the group turned to face her, she flushed, avoiding eye contact. “Remember, they want us to fight. We’re all on the same side here.”
“Okazaki is definitely not on our side,” Hiroaki said with a laugh.
“Still,” she continued, running her fingers through one of her ponytails. “Sasaki has a point. I want to be okay looking at myself in the mirror after this game ends.”
Her last sentence had a significant effect on the rest of the group. Ran had a hard time pushing back his own guilt. After Isono died, guilt descended on the group, chewing at their insides until all that was left was desperation. Desperation to escape it, to dodge responsibility towards each other. It had devolved so fast.
Keizou in particular jumped back like he’d been shot. Ran closed his eyes, and mentally asked God for forgiveness.
Isono seemed unsettled by the tense silence that had draped itself over them all. She was digging her nails into her arms again, repeatedly running her eyes over the room, as if she could pinpoint where the problem was by simply looking.
“I…I think we’re ready to start,” she said quietly.
“Very well. A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“Isono Miki. Please step forward.”
Isono nervously raked her eyes over the group again. Tsuno squeezed her shoulder and whispered something in her ear. Isono nodded, giving her a watery smile in return.
“For your punishment, you may choose to receive a stab to the hand. Or, you may choose to inflict a stab to the hand of a peer. Please make your decision now.”
“...It’s the same as the Decision Game,” she whispered, her eyes wide. She seemed frozen, shoulders hiked up to her ears as she stood, curling in on herself. Ran couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.
“You have to pass it off to someone,” Sasaki said firmly.
Isono frowned.
“I know that!” she snapped. Her voice was thick, like she was about to cry. “I…I want to take it myself, though. I don’t know if I can handle this.”
“Don’t!” Masanari yelled, his face pale. “Miki, you can’t!”
“It’s obvious who you should give it to, right?” Hiroaki said languidly. “Okazaki’s hand is already fucked up. Isn’t it better to have one persons hand be fucked up rather than two?”
Isono looked faint. She stumbled forward, leaning almost entirely on Wada’s desk.
“I…that feels wrong, though.”
She looked at Okazaki as she said it. Ran didn’t understand Isono’s empathy. It was fucked, but picturing Masanari begging her to stop as she beat the shit out of him made him want to hurt her. His fingers twitched at the thought. He wanted to hurt her. Badly.
“I stand by my reasoning from Decision Game. It should be Wada. It will impact his life the least. I need my hands for my livelihood, Isono. Ojima only picked me because he doesn’t like me. That’s not fair.”
Ojima had his jaw clenched, like he was struggling to keep his mouth shut. Silence reigned over the group. Okazaki inhaled, like she was about to speak again, when Isono finally spoke.
“I can’t stab Wada,” Isono said. “I can’t.”
She was crying, tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Okazaki. I’m giving it to Okazaki. I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”
She was wailing now, hands pressed to her face. Ran swallowed. Isono hadn’t had to withstand this kind of guilt before. It was cruel, like watching a child be struck for the first time, unsure of how to proceed in light of a new betrayal. Except, this was a betrayal of herself. Her own morals.
He was glad he was on the front row, next to Wada.
“Isono,” he said, reaching over. She took a few teetering steps towards him and he grabbed her hand. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”
She cried into his chest, heaving as she clung to his jacket. He tightened his arms around her, glaring when the rabbit spoke.
“Isono Miki. Please take item two from the equipment table.”
Stumbling, she walked over to it, her breaths getting more uneven with each step. Okazaki had already taken a seat, her mangled hand on the table. When Isono picked up the knife, she was shaking violently.
Okazaki pointed to a place on her hand. Lower, away from her fingers that were curled beneath her palm indefinitely.
“Here,” she said. Isono tried to lower the knife, but paused the movement, sobbing again.
“I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t-”
“Isono,” Hasegawa called out. She flinched and looked up. “You have to.”
She inhaled, and raised the knife. Keeping her eyes firmly on the spot Okazaki had pointed to, she drove the knife through.
“Argh!” Okazaki screamed, lurching away from the table in her chair. Tears dripped out from under her mask, landing on her lap. She breathed shakily, gasping in breaths as she tried to get herself under control.
Ran wanted to gag. Seeing someone get stabbed never got easier. Not ever.
Not even when it happened to someone like Okazaki.
Isono had frozen, weeping over the wound.
“Pull it out!” Okazaki cried, her voice deeper than usual. There was none of the usual lilt to it. It was raw, strained with desperation.
“I-sorry!” Isono gripped the knife again, pulling it out quickly. It clattered to the floor.
“Hanano!” Nishino called, trembling at her own desk.
Okazaki cradled her hand to her chest and walked back to her own desk without responding. She sat straight, posture frozen. Her breaths stuttered. It was the only sign that she was here.
Isono slowly, slowly, made her way back to her desk. She had a haunted look on her face. She would go quiet for a few seconds before glancing at Okazaki. Then she would start crying again. Tsuno hugged her tight when she returned.
“I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” Ran heard her whisper.
He wanted to be home with his sister. Safe. Reading manga in the garden, laughing together at some ridiculous plot choice. He wanted to be reviewing university options. He wanted his Mum to give him a hug. He wanted to cry into her shoulder.
He wanted it all so badly he felt himself tear up.
–
Hanano remained as quiet as she could. Arm on the table. Clinical. Her voice was raw, unfiltered.
Dr Kan’s condescending smile. She was lucky, he had said. Lucky.
The scientist he had shown her had gurgled on his own last breaths. His death was ugly. Undignified.
He had been stripped of everything.
Harada had been selected. Okazaki dimly registered him walking past her. He gave her an awkward look before reaching the front of the room.
It was the arm slash.
Harada seemed pained, glancing around the room before shrinking in on himself. Like Isono had. Hanano didn’t understand them.
“I still don’t see why we can’t give them all to Okazaki,” Hiroaki said lazily.
“Maybe because that was fucking awful?” Hama piped up.
“I’ll take it,” Isono said quietly.
“It’s gonna be awful either way, why shouldn’t it be her?”
“Because that’s torture!” Manami interrupted. Hanano looked up. Manami’s expression was passionate, her brows drawn in, her bright white teeth clenched as she fumed. Mesmerising.
“You have triggered the surprise rule in this game,” Monomoko said suddenly. Hanano leaned forward. Interesting. “As a result, the following students must please step forward: Isono Miki. Tsuno Manami. Yanagi Shigeki. Hasegawa Ken. Hayashi Mai.”
“What?” she heard Nishi say, somewhat breathlessly.
“Okay, what the fuck is that? You can’t just put in rules whenever the fuck you want!” Kamimura protested, scowling.
“I can.”
“Hayashi Mai. You have been randomly selected to take this punishment.”
“And if I take it I won’t get food?”
“You will receive food, as will Harada Keizou.”
Hayashi frowned.
“Interesting.”
“Harada Keizou, please take item two from the equipment table.”
“Make it quick,” Hayashi said gruffly. She inhaled sharply when he cut her, a groan slipping out between her gritted teeth. They both took their seats.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“Wait, hang on, shouldn’t we try to figure out what triggered the rule?” Sasaki said quickly.
“You must continue with the game,” Monomoko insisted. “Chiba Airi, please step forward.”
Hanano turned to look at the girl when no one moved.
“Chiba Airi, please step forward.”
—
Nakamigawa grimaced when Airi’s name was called. At the front, she stood straight, her arms held loosely at her sides. She was nervous. He just knew it.
“For your punishment, you may choose to receive a slash across the leg, or inflict a slash across the leg of a peer.”
“I could just take it,” Airi said quietly.
“No you can’t!” Harada protested.
“Yeah, you’re tiny! You have to eat!” Hama added.
“They’re right, Chiba,” Nakamigawa said.
She trembled, her eyes darting frantically between the three of them.
“But I don’t want to give it to anyone!”
“It’s fine, Airi,” Harada said gently. “I’ll take it.”
“You have triggered the surprise rule in this game,” Monomoko interrupted. “As a result, the following students must please step forward: Hayashi Mai. Yanagi Shigeki. Sasaki Hitomi. Hiroaki Nakamigawa.”
“The fuck?” Hayashi said.
Oh. OH! Nakamigawa swept his eyes over the room to see if anyone else had figured it out. Surprisingly, it was Isono who caught his eye, understanding dawning in her own.
“It’s volunteering that triggers it,” he announced.
“What!”
“What’s even the point of that?” Watari asked, frustration making her fidget.
“So then we have to fight about it,” Manami said slowly. “We can’t make sure the person receiving the punishment is actually okay with it.”
“I don’t understand,” Shigeki said, gracefully coming to a stop at the front of the room. “Why did the number change? First it was five of us, and now it’s four.”
“Unless Chiba counts,” Sasaki posited. “I’m assuming the selection is random. I doubt they’d exclude anyone from the selection.”
“Sasaki Hitomi, please take a seat near the equipment table. Chiba Airi, please select item two from the equipment table.”
Airi swallowed, her hands trembling at her sides.
“I don’t want to do this,” she cried, rubbing her eyes furiously.
“It’s okay,” Hitomi replied, handing Airi the knife. She pulled her sock down. “Make it quick, okay? I’ll be fine.”
Airi inhaled and yelled as she pulled the knife across Hitomi’s skin. Hitomi’s jaw was clenched. A vein stuck out on her neck as she lifted her head up to the ceiling, trying desperately to keep any sounds in.
After a few seconds, she opened her mouth, allowing herself to breathe, even if that breathing was irregular.
She squeezed her eyes shut, and then opened them again. Nakamigawa didn’t realise that he was looking to her for further instruction now that they’d figured out the new rule. With a quick glance, he realised everyone else was too.
“Okay,” she said quietly, waving off Airi as the smaller girl hovered over her. “I’m fine, Chiba.”
She stood up and hissed, clinging to the table.
“Let’s recount what we know before we continue. Volunteering to take a punishment triggers a ‘surprise rule’. This ‘surprise rule’ randomly selects five of us to take the punishment. One student from that five is selected to actually take the punishment. This ensures that the volunteer may potentially hurt someone they are trying to protect. It makes us unable to make sure that a person receiving a punishment is okay with it.”
“Maybe a randomised vote is easier,” Tamba said. “I mean, then we won’t be fighting about it.”
“But then if Kamimura gets a slash punishment he’s basically dead,” Nakamigawa said airily.
“Oh, you’re right,” Tamba said, more to herself than anything. Nakamigawa relished the words anyway. Of course he was right. He often was.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“Kamimura Kazutoshi. Please step forward.”
Kamimura laughed at something Hasegawa said before ambling over to the front of the room.
“For your punishment, you may choose to forego food until the next killing takes place, or inflict this punishment onto a peer.”
“What does that even mean? The hunger motive is still in place, isn’t it? What’s the point?”
“The student who receives this punishment will not receive food privileges, regardless of if they’ve already passed off their punishment.”
“Cool. So they miss one meal.”
“That may not sound like a big deal, but we don’t know when our next meal will be,” Hitomi reminded him. He gave her an annoyed look.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”
“How are we meant to do this without someone volunteering?” Manami complained, anxiously biting her lip.
“By picking someone you don’t like, I guess. It’ll fracture the group nicely.”
“Are we sure the randomized votes aren’t worth it?” Chiba asked.
“Yes,” Kazutoshi said between gritted teeth. “I like not bleeding to death.”
Nakamigawa had an idea. He smiled, leaning back in his chair as he opened his mouth.
“I wouldn’t have known that with your track record.”
Kamimura set his red eyes on him, glaring.
“Do you want me to starve you?”
Nakamigawa took a breath. Fuck it.
“I can’t answer that without a randomized vote,” he said, raising his eyebrows a little.
“You have triggered the surprise rule in this game,” Monomoko said. Everyone collectively groaned.
“You couldn’t have made it less obvious?” Kamimura complained.
“I was testing what we could get away with!” he defended, his words jumbling together a little in his panic.
“Obviously we wouldn’t get away with something that obvious!” Tamba yelled.
Hayashi groaned.
“Ohmygod will you-”
“As a result, the following students must please step forward: Hayashi Mai. Tsuno Manami. Isono Miki. Wada Masanari. Chiba Airi.”
Hayashi groaned again.
“At this point, should I just stay up here? Your randomiser,” she said with air-quotes. “Clearly has a favourite.”
“I can assure you, the selection is completely random.”
“Whatever.”
“Chiba Airi, you must forgo food until the next killing takes place.”
Nakamigawa swallowed down his guilt. Great. He was starving Airi. After he’d criticised her parents for it, too. Airi shrugged, her body language casual.
“Well, at least I’m used to it,” she said lightly.
“Jesus,” Nakamigawa replied.
“That’s…not great, Chiba,” Takeshi said.
She shrugged again.
“At least it’s helpful now!”
She seemed chipper as she went back to her seat. Nakamigawa didn’t believe it.
Notes:
I'm so excited to be finally posting this! Fun fact - when I was asking family members for a name for this game, my brother legitimately suggested 'The Hunger Games'
Chapter 26: Bartering Game Part Two
Summary:
The Bartering Game continues. One student takes it too far.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Masanari watched Hayashi be called to the front.
“For your punishment, you may choose to take a blow to the stomach, or inflict a blow to the stomach on one of your peers. Please make your decision now.”
He tensed as she considered each of them. Luckily, her eyes swept over him without lingering.
“Hiroaki,” she said pleasantly. “Come on up here.”
“What?” he shrieked. Kamimura snickered.
Hayashi rolled her eyes.
“I’ll be gentle, relax.”
“Why can’t you do it to Yanagi? He’d probably be into it anyway!”
Yanagi began to splutter, beet red as he denied Hiroaki’s claim.
“Pftt, stop stalling,” Hayashi insisted, already standing with the bat in her hand.
Nakamigawa cried out when the bat hit him, reflexive tears streaming down his face as he desperately shoved his glasses firmly back up his nose.
“Ow! You said you were gonna be gentle!”
“I was,” she said with a shrug, placing the bat back on the table. “Think of it this way, now you won’t get a bloody one.”
“Do NOT act like you just did me a favour by hitting me with a fucking bat.”
Hayashi was clearly trying to push back a smile.
“You’re so dramatic,” she said, ambling back over to her seat.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“Wada Masanari. Please step forward.”
With a shaky breath, he walked to the front. Manami caught his wrist for a minute and squeezed it.
“Good luck!” she whispered.
“Thanks,” he whispered back, a small smile on his face. He still had them both at his side, at least. His family.
He tried to picture the garden he and Miki would have. Miki would probably grow food. Strawberries, pears, plums. Maybe he’d grow flowers. It'd been kind of Monomoko to save the lily last time, but he wanted to try his hand at it when it was possible.
“For your punishment, you may choose to relinquish drinking water privileges for 24 hours, or inflict this punishment onto another student.”
Masanari swallowed. He didn’t want to give it to his friends, no matter how small of a punishment it was. The thought of them being mad at him made him tremble.
He swallowed. Ojima was staring at him.
Ojima wouldn’t hurt him. Last time, he’d been so mad at Okazaki. But still, he’d been…discrete. Considerate.
“Ojima,” he said finally.
Ojima nodded and smiled at him. Relief flooded his body as he went to sit back down. He could relax. He was done. His turn was over.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“Sasaki Hitomi. Please step forward.”
“You did good, Masa,” Manami assured him. He smiled back at her briefly, and kept thinking about flowers. He didn’t know that many, admittedly. It wasn’t something that he had ever thought about before.
Sasaki got the student profile punishment. He perked up, slowly shaking his head when her eyes travelled over him.
“Harada’s confession in Confession Game was the least serious, so I’m choosing him. I’m sorry if there turns out to be something serious. Regardless, I won’t be reading it.”
“N-no you’re probably right,” he said sheepishly. “My life isn’t really that interesting.”
Masanari seriously doubts that, with the guy having Sawa and all. Last time around, Sawa had been so trusting. She slept in his, a complete stranger's, arms. She trusted that he would hold her up.
He missed her.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“Ojima Takeshi, please step forward.”
It’s endearing, Masanari thinks, how Ojima always seems surprised to be spoken to. Even in a game like this, he straightens up and takes a second longer than he should take to respond. Since he’s sitting near the front, it doesn’t take him long to get to the designated spot.
Masanari grimaced at Ojima’s punishment. Box three. He knew he ate a lot of inedible stuff, but at least it wasn’t paint, or cologne or something. He drew the line at inedible liquids.
“Um…I should probably give it to someone whose body can handle it. I’d suggest Mai but she’s already had a punishment. Maybe…no, Ran’s on an empty stomach. Um…Watari, maybe?”
“Please confirm your decision.”
“Um…Watari. Sorry!”
“Watari Nishin-”
“Yeah yeah, step forward, I get it,” she said lightly. “Don’t worry Ojima, I got this. She lifted the cup up high. “Bottoms up!”
She swallowed three times, gulping down the liquid as quickly as possible. Smart.
“Urgh!” she said, her face crinkling up as she stuck out her tongue. “So gross!”
Hasegawa shifted a little.
“I brought coffee if you want to replace the taste.”
“You are the smartest man alive,” Watari said, her eyes shining. “Gimme!”
Masanari smiled as she chugged the whole thing, oblivious to Hasegawa’s obvious distress. He clearly wasn’t quite done with it.
–
Manami watched Nishino fondly. She sighed loudly, content as she slammed the mug back on his desk. “Great, you drank the whole thing,” Kazutoshi snarked.
“...Was I not supposed to?”
“There’s two other people who have to take the boxes, dumbass.”
“...Oh. Sorry in advance guys!” she said meekly, grinning guiltily as she sidled back into her own seat.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“Okazaki Hanano. Please step forward.”
“For your punishment, you may choose to accept a brand on your back, or inflict a brand on the back of a peer. Please make your decision now.”
Okazaki considered the brand on the equipment table, humming as she inspected it.
“I choose Tsuno,” she said lightly.
Manami inhaled. As she breathed out, the breath turned wobbly.
“What?” Masa yelled.
“NO!” Nishino shouted. “Hanano, I can take it!”
“Shut up! Do you want to trigger another surprise vote?” Kamimura snapped.
“Okazaki Hanano has already made her decision,” Monomoko said. “Tsuno Manami, please step forward.”
“I-” she cut herself off, not quite trusting in her voice. “I…no.”
“This isn’t right…you can’t do this!” Ojima cried.
“Tsuno Manami, you must step forward.”
“Wait,” Miki said. “Before you do, give me just a second.”
Quickly, she unlooped a hair tie from her left ponytail. The hair fell awkwardly, a clear kink in it from where the ponytail had been.
“You should tie your hair up for this,” she continued quietly. “We have you, okay? You’re going to be okay.”
Manami remained silent as Miki’s fingers grazed her scalp. Okazaki was waiting at the front. She shivered.
“You’re right,” she said, smiling again. It was trembling, every part of her felt like it was trembling, but she stiffly began to stand up. “I just have to endure this. I’ll be okay.”
“I’ll make sure of it,” Shigeki said to her as she passed him. There was blood on the table. Okazaki’s blood, probably.
She was sweating. It made her shudder. Everything felt cold.
“You should sit for this, and take your top off,” Okazaki said clinically.
Manami froze.
“I-I don’t want people to see me,” she replied, her voice wavering.
“Then turn around. They’ll only see your back. I’ll stand in the way.”
“Right,” she said, reaching for the chair.
“You should really be on your knees,” Okazaki said casually. “The chair is going to tip over when you try to get away from it. Trust me.”
“Can you stop being creepy for five fucking seconds?” Nakamigawa yelled.
“I’m just stating a fact.”
Right. Her knees. They were still sore from yesterday. Slowly, she lowered herself to the floor. Taking another deep breath, she began to peel her top off. It was fine. It was fine. Shigeki would put her on painkillers. She’d be out of it, but she’d be fine.
Her only concern was Okazaki.
Something loud moved behind her. The branding iron. It sizzled as Okazaki warmed it up.
“Brace yourself. I’ll do it on the count of three.”
“Wait!”
“One~”
Manami heaved, her jaw trembling as she tried to shuffle away from the heat. It was too close. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t-
“Two~”
“Argh!! Hrngh!” she screamed, trying desperately to move away. A hand on her shoulder kept her firmly in place. Her skin felt like it was bubbling. Peeling off. The iron stayed. “AArgh! Plea-” She gagged. Gasping in breath after breath, she tried to wriggle away again. Her ankles were trapped under Okazaki’s feet. It had been too long. Watari's brand wasn't like this. Was Okazaki trying to kill her? A choked sound left her throat. She could feel her skin cooking. The hand on her shoulder tightened. “Sto…ARGH! PLE-”
Someone else yelped.
“Oh my,” Monomoko said.
Manami heaved, gagging and sobbing into the floor. Bile came up, dripping onto the floor like drool. Every breath was small, shallow, a gasp rather than an inhale.
“Please,” she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. “Please.”
“Shige, stop!”
Miki was at her side. She could see her orange hair.
“But she!-”
“Tsuno needs your help right now! Let me handle her.”
Shigeki yelled out, frustrated.
“Fine!”
Manami flinched when she heard loud footsteps getting closer.
“Hhng,” she groaned as the movement sent ripples of pain down her back.
“That’s…it’s worse than Watari’s,” Shigeki said quietly.
“No kidding,” Watari agreed.
The world was getting blurrier.
“Miki…” Manami whined. “Miki…”
“What do you need?” she asked frantically, her hands hovering above Manami’s shoulders. Manami cried out as she fell onto the girl, her lightheadedness getting the best of her.
The world went dark.
—
The world came back to her in muffled bits and pieces. Her back stung. Someone put pills in front of her face. She swallowed. A big silhouette passed her. Someone gagged.
Red eyes were filled with tears, staring down at her.
“Masa?”
Her voice sounded hoarse.
“Manami!” he cried, clinging tighter to Miki’s arm. Miki herself was wrapped around Masa, the two of them staring at Manami like she was on death's door. Hang on. Was she on death's door?
“You’ll be alright,” Shigeki said quickly, clearly sensing her panic. “It won't be pleasant, but you’re not in danger of anything…like that.”
“It’s um…it’s your turn, by the way,” Masa informed her.
Oh. Right. That wasn’t even the end of the game.
“Did I miss anything?”
“I gave box two to Tamba,” Ran said succinctly. She went to nod before she remembered how painful movement was.
“Right. Okay. What’s my punishment?”
“Choking someone for thirty seconds,” Kamimura said. Worry was scrawled all over his face. Manami couldn’t absorb that right now. She couldn’t absorb anything. Fear circled her throat, holding it tight.
Silence went on.
“You have to choose someone, Manami,” Miki said.
Manami chose to ignore that hint. She wasn’t about to choke Miki. Shigeki raised an eyebrow at her.
“...I’ll give it to Shigeki,” she said finally.
“Um…can’t someone else do it?” Shigeki asked, gesturing at Manami’s general state. “I don’t think Manami will be able to do this properly.”
“You just want Hayashi to do it,” Nakamigawa teased.
“I do not!” Shigeki shot back, his voice higher than usual.
“Sure you don’t~.”
She had the distinct feeling that they were all trying to cheer her up. The jokes didn’t make her feel elated like usual. Her back stung. It throbbed. The skin seemed to wriggle away from her. She knew how it looked after seeing it on Nishino’s back. Every movement aggravated it and she wanted to scream.
Okazaki Hanano had branded her. For the rest of her life, she'd see her back and think of Okazaki Hanano. This was something she would never be able to remove. Bile crawled up her throat.
“Very well. A student aggressor is being selected.”
“Tamba Ruiko. Please step forward.”
“Oh boy,” she said lightly, quickly making her way to the front.
Manami’s world faded again. It felt like she was on the edge of consciousness. She registered everything; the worried looks she got, the tension in the room, the quiet, choked sounds Shigeki was making. But nothing stirred up any emotion in her.
When she next came to, Miki was gone. Manami’s eyes darted over the room, but she could only see desks.
“Masa, where’s Miki?” The question was breathless, panicked.
“She’s at the front, with Hasegawa,” he responded. “It-it’s okay, it’s just a cheek slash.”
“Right,” Manami wondered how on earth she was supposed to treat anyone like this. Still, she couldn’t just opt out. If their wounds got infected, they could die. “What did I miss?”
Masa blinked at her matter-of-fact tone. Manami gave him a pleading look. She couldn’t do anything else right now.
“Hiroaki gave Hama the back slash. Tamba got the no dorm punishment - she was going to give it to Hasegawa but then Kamimura would feel unsafe. She didn’t want to give it to Miki because of her agoraphobia, so she gave it to me.”
Manami opened her mouth, instinctively about to volunteer. She snapped her mouth shut. Her room was the only safe place, now.
Miki giggled at something Hasegawa said and came back. Manami could hear her shoes gently tapping on the ground.
“Manami! You’re back!” she exclaimed, lowering herself to the floor.
“Yeah,” she said slowly, avoiding her gaze. She couldn’t take sympathy right now. She couldn’t.
Watari was called up next. The hand burn punishment - Manami always forgot about that one.
“Who’s left?” Watari asked. “Is it just you two?” she nodded at Kazutoshi and Hasegawa.
“Yeah,” Kazutoshi confirmed. “There’s only this and the final box left.”
Watari turned to look at the box with a reproachful expression on her face.
“Yeesh, wouldn’t that, like, kill you?”
Kazutoshi raised his eyebrows.
“Probably, yeah.”
“Then I’m giving the burn to you!”
Kazutoshi huffed.
“Wow, thanks so much, Watari. How kind of you.”
“You’re welcome!~”
She skipped back over to her seat and gave him a thumbs up. The flame licked the back of his hand and he winced, gritting his teeth as he yanked it away.
“That could’ve been worse, I guess,” he grumbled, placing himself back next to Hasegawa. “Sucks that you don’t have your coffee, though.”
Watari grimaced.
“Sorry,” she said again. “I’ll make you another one when the game's done, I promise!”
“Do you even know how he likes his coffee?”
“Well…no, but Ojima does!”
“Or you could just ask me?” Hasegawa said, an amused lilt in his tone.
“A student and punishment are being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“Wow,” Hiroaki said flatly, leaning back in his chair. “I wonder who and what it’ll be.”
“Hilarious,” Shigeki replied.
“Yanagi Shigeki, please step forward.”
“I’m giving it to Hasegawa.”
“You do not know what it is yet.”
“Is the punishment to drink the contents of that box?” he clarified, pointing at the thing.
“...yes.”
“Then I’m giving it to Hasegawa.”
Hasegawa cringed.
“You better make that coffee quick, Nishino,” Kazutoshi teased. “Or he’s gonna be in a mood alllll day.”
“I won’t!”
“You will.”
He gagged after the first gulp, having to stop for a second. Manami wished people would stop gagging. It reminded her of how much she wanted to vomit. She wanted to go back to how she was a second before. Floating. Somewhat listless, disconnected from her body and mind.
When he finished it, Watari cheered.
It felt like her stomach was pushing up past her other organs, trying to escape through her throat. She wanted to groan, but she was sure that if she opened her mouth, vomit would come out.
Everything was too cold. She shivered.
Her back tingled. She tensed, and tumbled her body onto its side, heaving as she threw up on the floor. It got on her hands.
“Manami!”
Masanari’s voice sounded desperate. He had sounded like that when she died, last time. She always did manage to fail him.
Notes:
Hasegawa and Watari I WILL make you be friends
Okazaki behaving challenge FAILED
Chapter 27: Decompress
Summary:
The students treat their wounds and start cooking.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Hasegawa’s voice echoed in her head. The syllables fell out his mouth perfectly, as if they were practiced. Ninomiya Youhei.
This place felt too familiar.
She never understood Kan’s fascination with the human body. His disgust when it reached the point of no return.
Tsuno, with her torso mangled in the spikes, was not repulsive to Hanano. That body may have never functioned again, but it still belonged to Tsuno.
Hanano’s body never felt like it belonged to her. Not really. So many of the people here were interesting, in that regard.
Kamimura’s body gave out on him all the time. He had been alert, awake for half a second, terror in his eyes as the pain made him spasm. Then he passed out.
Maybe it wasn’t giving up. Maybe it was mercy.
Hanano had seen bodies that didn’t grant mercy before. Failed experiments, her mother had called them. Kan named them. He repeated their names, again and again. It was if he was obsessed with their personhood even as he stripped it away from them.
Like Manami, they had panted, breaths getting thinner and thinner. And yet, they kept trying. Heaving, slick with sweat, their body would try to push through.
But no body can survive Dr Kan. That body becomes irrevocably his.
She had felt the question burn on her tongue, the words tumbling out into Sasaki’s ear. It was fascinating, how the body responded to stimuli, regardless of what the mind thought of it.
Alone in the auditorium, she looked down at her hand. She felt like a child again, unable to leave the car without her mothers permission. She felt Kan smiling down at her.
Hanano closed her eyes. It wasn’t often she got like this. Something heavy was making her throat swell up. Her arm resting on the table, waiting for pain. Bracing for it. Sweat. Blood. Heaving. Panting.
Still, her body craved for guidance. She craved guidance. Alone in the auditorium, with her hand sending spikes of white-hot pain through her body, she wished there was someone who could make it feel better.
–
Kazutoshi demanded that Ken stay in the med-bay, for a change. The man looked queasy again, stumbling away to the bathrooms until Kazutoshi dragged him back. He shoved a bucket at him.
“If you’re gonna throw up, do it in here.”
“I can just go to-”
“No,” he said firmly. Not with Okazaki just out and about. Not after…
He glanced at Manami. Her face was slack, mouth open just a little bit as Mai placed her down in a sitting position.
Shigeki’s jaw was clenched as he ran his eyes over her back again. She was still topless. Kazutoshi remembered her hesitance before taking her shirt off. He looked around for a cloth, a covering of some kind, until he realised Mai had already found one, neatly positioning it to give her some privacy.
Miki and Wada were hovering near Manami’s bed, horror plain on their faces. Kazutoshi couldn’t blame them.
He’d never heard Manami cry out like that. Not once. He’d probably hear it in his nightmares forever.
Shigeki was solely focused on Manami, but the other beds were also filled. Kazutoshi frowned, and looked up at Mai.
“Are you first aid trained?”
“No, but I got the gist of it last time around,” he responded.
He called Miki over. Blood was still dripping down her face. She was clearly aggravating it, being so expressive. He wasn’t dumb enough to expect her to stop when Manami was basically catatonic, though.
“Ken…will she…she won’t talk, I don’t know what to do,” Miki said quietly, crying as Kazutoshi rifled through their supplies.
“I-it’s just shock, Miki,” Ken explained gently. Hesitantly, he offered her his hand. “It’s okay. She’ll be okay.”
She put her hand in his. He ran soothing circles over the back of it.
“It’s just…she’s never…I’ve never seen her like that. That was…”
“It was fucked up,” Kazutoshi interrupted. “Fucking demented. That’s what it was.” He took a breath. “Okay, this is going to sting a bit.”
She winced, but otherwise didn’t move.
“I want to go home,” she cried. Her shoulders shook, and Kazutoshi felt his own heart clench.
“Soon,” he said, giving Ken a significant look.
There was jostling in the hallway.
“You need to get it looked at,” he heard Sasaki insist. Kazutoshi glanced up. Mai was having Hama look at her injury. She had already treated his.
He raised his eyebrows. Impressive. He supposed she did have fairly steady hands.
“Ohmygod I’m literally fine, there’s gonna be blood everywhere anyway it’s gonna be GROSS,” Hiroaki complained.
Kazutoshi inhaled, rolling his eyes and bracing himself. Great.
“Great. You’re here. Again.”
“Ew, you’re gonna be my doctor? Can’t I get someone else?”
Mai grinned.
“I’m the other option, if you want me to prod at it so badly.”
“Hell no!”
Hitomi rolled her eyes, remaining in the doorway even as Hiroaki made his way over to Kazutoshi.
She was bleeding still. Some of the blood had already dried on her socks.
“Hang on, you have to come in too,” he said sternly.
Hitomi glanced down and shrugged.
“It’s not deep.”
Mai stood up, opting to loom over Sasaki in place of saying anything.
“It’s not!” she insisted.
“I’m not giving you an option. Sit.”
Sasaki rolled her eyes.
“Fine.”
Kazutoshi let his eyes roam over the bruising on Hiroaki’s stomach. He nudged Ken, nodding at it when the man still averted his eyes.
“I’m not an expert or anything, but it looks fine.”
Ken nodded and mumbled something about the colouring and the space it took up, his eyebrows furrowed.
“It looks normal, I-I don’t think you have anything to um…worry about.”
“Cool, then I’m leaving. Bye, losers!”
“Thank fuck for that,” Kazutoshi said lightly.
“Um, ‘Toshi?” Miki asked. He almost snapped at her for using the nickname, but it felt wrong. She seemed pretty fragile, her hair still half down, small red crescents littered across her forearms, and red, blotchy skin on her face. “Can I? Your, um, your burn.”
“Oh, I’ve already treated it,” he said simply. “You should put your hair back up. It looks stupid like that.”
She huffed, a small smile flashing across her face.
“R-right.”
“Can I do it?” Ken asked. “I need to distract myself so I don’t throw up.”
The words came out quickly, all jumbled together. Kazutoshi had to take a second to dissect them. Miki nodded immediately, though.
“Done!” he heard Mai announce. “You were right, not that deep.”
“I told you,” Sasaki said. If he didn’t know better, Kazutoshi would say she was pouting. He watched Sasaki scan the room. “Have you treated everyone?”
“Nope,” Kazutoshi said, popping the ‘p’. “It’ll be a while before we can with one of our medics down.”
Mai nodded.
“It’s why me and Toshi are here helping out.”
“I can also help!” Miki volunteered from where she was sitting, criss-crossed on the floor. Hasegawa was silently braiding her hair. Kazutoshi was glad to see the man so relaxed.
“Okay, it’s why me, Toshi and Isono are helping out.”
Sasaki frowned.
“To be honest, I think you’d be of better use in the kitchen. We only have twenty-four hours to feed fifteen people something filling and nutritious, and three of those fifteen are going to be nauseous for a while,” she gestured at Hasegawa. “Not to mention those who are indisposed due to injuries.”
Mai hummed.
“You’re right, I guess. I don’t want to leave the med-bay with just two people and Shige, though.”
She glanced over at Shigeki, who seemed entirely engrossed in his work. He was frowning, his jaw clenched as he adjusted Manami’s position slightly.
“I’ll step in,” Sasaki said. “I know enough to help, and if I don’t I can defer to those two.” She nodded at Kazutoshi and Miki.
Kazutoshi blinked. Sasaki deferring to anyone felt incredibly weird. He brushed it aside.
“Oh god,” Ken said, his voice high as he turned to the left and retched. Luckily, the bucket was there. Miki adjusted it slightly so it was just below his mouth.
“Sounds like a plan.”
–
Nakamigawa held his breath for a few seconds before he knocked on Airi’s door. There was rustling inside the room, as though she was moving things around. Probably not to clean them up.
He’d watched her do it before. It felt like watching a massive migration of fabric, endlessly circling her floor, daring to go anywhere but the wardrobe. He didn’t really understand why she liked her wardrobe empty. Maybe to sit in it? She was small enough.
“Nagawa, are you gonna come in or not?” she called.
“You’re still leaving it unlocked?” he said, incredulous. Lightly, he pushed the door open.
“What? It’s not like anyone’s gonna actually kill someone,” she replied. She may have shrugged, but he couldn’t see the movement behind the huge fabric bundle in her arms. He was right, then. It was migration time.
Nakamigawa took a breath, balling his hands into fists.
“Listen…Airi,” he began.
She groaned, dropping the pile into a corner.
“You better not have come here to say you’re sorry,” she spun around, hands on her hips as she glared up at him.
He blinked.
“I-why wouldn’t I?” he cried.
“Because I’m fine?” she yelled back, her nose scrunching up.
He scoffed.
“Yeah, clearly.” He pictured Takeshi’s gentle admonishment. If he were here, he’d give him a short, almost imperceptible nod, and stare at him with those big understanding eyes. Nakamigawa inhaled. He could do this. “Listen. I shouldn’t have done that. It meant you slashed Hitomi for no reason, and now you’ll be going hungry. I shouldn’t have tried to get around it knowing that you could have to deal with the consequences, I guess. I was just…I was being impatient. Sorry.”
Her face had twitched when he mentioned Hitomi, and she looked away.
“...I didn’t want to hurt her,” she said quietly.
“I know,” he replied, his tone gentle. “I know.”
She sat atop the pile of clothes she’d gathered and sighed, resting her head on her hands.
“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” she continued. “Not even Okazaki.”
“Well,” he replied, sitting down in her desk chair. “That makes one of us.”
“She’s a person,” Airi said bitterly. “I don’t like her, but…I just can’t see past that fact. She…she’s a bad person but…”
“Don’t think about it,” he responded.
Airi closed her eyes and leaned back, her head lightly thumping against the wall. She looked far older than she ever had.
“If I could, I would,” she whispered.
–
“Ojima.”
The voice was muffled. But it was distinct. Recognisable. Mai’s. He felt the unique sensation of being brought back to the world before he was ready. It left him unstable. If he turned his head too fast, he felt dizzy.
“Ojima.”
“Mai?” he said slowly, pressing a hand against his head.
“Great, you’re back. C’mon, I need your help.”
She said it briskly, and turned without looking back at him. Like usual, he was left scrambling to catch up.
“Huh?”
He looked around the room he was in. The dining room. He didn’t remember getting here. Nakamigawa must’ve brought him here.
He was always so pliable when he was away. Sometimes, that terrified him. That terror felt like hands prying his legs apart. It felt like someone panting on his neck. It felt like silence, only the sounds of a body moving.
It felt like the acceptance that no amount of begging, nothing he could say, would stop what was happening to him.
“Ojima?”
He had fallen behind.
“Sorry,” he said with a grimace. “Just…got lost in my head a bit there.” He frowned, trying to remember why he was here in the first place. “Oh. You needed my help with something?”
Mai kept her gaze and stance casual. He appreciated it.
“Yeah. I have fifteen people to cook for, and no one to help.”
“Oh,” he relaxed a little and smiled. “I can do that. I like cooking.”
“Yeah?”
He nodded, and walked alongside her.
“Yeah. Only one of my brothers can actually cook, and he works so sometimes I get the kitchen to myself. It’s…nice.”
“Rich kids not knowing how to cook - figures.” She hummed when she stuck her head in the fridge. Takeshi stayed quiet while she muttered to herself, instead getting a chopping board and knife ready. “Hmm…I think I know what to make. Ojima, get the-” she turned to face him. “Oh, good, you’ve already got it.”
She began to pass him vegetables and pointed at them individually.
“Cubed. Diced. Keep these ones bigger, Tsuno likes them that way.”
“It’s impressive that you know people’s preferences,” he commented as he started chopping.
“Not really,” she shrugged. “I only know Tsuno’s because she’s obvious about, like, everything. She’s an open book.”
“An open book? I find her a little hard to read, to be honest.”
Mai laughed.
“I mean this in the nicest way possible, Takeshi. When it comes to people, you cannot read.”
He huffed and let the comment slide off him. It wasn’t untrue. He was just missing too many context clues. It was like reading three sentences per page, or looking at a drawing in its beginning stages. Any guesses he could have as to what the story was, what the drawing would be, were just that - guesses.
He didn’t bother to make those guesses. Usually, when he asked people, he just took their word for it. It was the best thing he could do, really. Nakamigawa seemed to appreciate it.
“Yeah, I guess so,” he agreed. “Who else is an open book, then?”
She turned her amused gaze onto him.
“Who do you think is an open book? That’s what I wanna know.”
He took a second to think about the question.
“Um…I think Isono is pretty straightforward,” he began. “Maybe Hama? Chiba?”
Mai laughed and shook her head.
“Definitely not Chiba. I don’t know what’s going on in her head, but she sure as hell isn’t letting that slip to us.”
“Really? I thought she was pretty, well…simple?”
Mai shook her head again and sighed.
“Nah. She’s always acting. I don’t know if she even knows when she is and isn’t acting.”
“Yeah, that seems pretty complicated,” he replied absentmindedly.
“Yeah, Chiba’s definitely one of those diaries with locks on 'em, if she was a book.”
Takeshi laughed at the image.
“The one that plays a little song when you press a button?”
“Yeah!” she said, gesticulating with the knife in her hand. Fondness warmed his chest. He was so, so glad that she was still here this time. Her presence was always grounding. It made him alert, present - but not paranoid.
“What about Hitomi?”
“Hmm…she’s difficult. Uptight. She doesn’t give a lot away unless she’s under a lot of pressure. She’s probably a crime anthology or something.”
“The ones that come with fancy covers?”
He’d seen them in bookstores before. He loved the art on the front of a particular series that stood in the window, but couldn’t justify buying it just for that. He knew he’d never actually read them. Maybe he could ask Nakamigawa about them later.
“Yeah, she’s a hardback for sure.”
“Watari?”
“Hmm…a short story anthology. She seems to separate her life into different spheres. Even here. I feel like that’s appropriate for her. Okazaki…I don’t really know enough about her. Probably a stage play or something. She’s dramatic like that.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “Maybe one of those stage plays Hitomi goes on about, the ones where we don’t know who wrote it?”
“That sounds like her. I don’t know him that well, but Hama feels like an adventure book.”
“Hmm, I can see that,” she considered. “But it’d also have to be a fantasy romance, I think. You should see the way he flips out about that romance manga he and Wada read.” She said it with a snicker as she opened up the fridge door again. She shut it closed with her hip and dumped more vegetables in front of him. “Need more,” she said by way of explanation.
He nodded and got to work. The sound of the knife on wood was relaxing. Whatever Mai was mixing smelled good. The vegetables he had already chopped sizzled in a pan.
“Toshi would be a crime novel, one of those ones where the detective is the same guy across multiple books.”
“Like Hitomi?”
“Yeah, but uh,” she said the next part quietly, as if it were a secret. “Less high brow.”
“Oh! Like the ones where the detective ends up with the forensics assistant or something?”
His brothers had often complained about a series they had been reading together where that happened. Takeshi himself didn’t bother trying to start it, no matter how much they pleaded. They had spoiled everything for him anyway, knocking down his bedroom door to whine about a new love interest that had entered the fold.
“Exactly like that,” she affirmed. “Have you read those?” she raised an eyebrow in judgement.
“No, my brothers have though. I don’t remember what the series was called, but they spoiled the whole thing so I didn’t bother starting it.”
“Smart. It’s good to be an only child,” she said smugly. He laughed.
“Ugh, you’ve no idea.”
“Harada is one of those feel-good romance novels for sure. Tsuno…she’s like one of those superhero comics that start out super goofy and feel-good, but then get really dark and gritty after a few issues.”
“Tsuno? Dark and gritty?” he said sceptically.
“Trust me on this one,” Mai said lightly.
“What about Nagawa?”
Mai barked out a laugh.
“Ha! That man wishes he was a book. He’s more like…a walking, talking apology tweet.”
Takeshi snickered.
“That seems about right,” he admitted. “What about Tamba? I don’t have any ideas for her.”
“She’s…a bildungsroman,” Mai said slowly. Takeshi blinked and gave her a confused look. “It’s a novel type that deals with your formative years. It’s about who you are trying to be, who you are, how you got there. I think it suits her.”
“Sounds complicated.”
“Tamba…she is complicated. More than people give her credit for.”
“That doesn’t leave many people left, does it?”
“No,” she reached over for the next batch of chopped vegetables. “Wada, you, me, Shige, Isono…Hasegawa.”
“Can we do ourselves?”
“We could do each others,” she suggested, nodding when he agreed, “Hasegawa is a tragedy. Plain and simple.”
“Like…Shakespeare?”
“Sure. Isono…she feels like a comic too, like Tsuno. A different genre though. An introspective one.”
“Hmm…yeah. Maybe she and Tsuno get a crossover.”
Mai laughed.
“Yeah, that’d be cute. I feel like Wada should also be a comic too, then.”
“A superhero one?” Takeshi asked with raised eyebrows, a faint smile on his lips.
“I mean, he already has a tragic backstory.”
“And a makeover!”
“...I don’t know if that’s part of the superhero genre, Takeshi.”
He flushed and smiled sheepishly.
“It’s not? Oh. Whoops,” he paused for a second. “Yanagi would be a fantasy, right?”
“A fantasy…I can see that. He wants to be playing prince all the time. That just leaves us, right?”
“Yeah,” Takeshi responded. He pushed his glasses up and thought about it. “Honestly, I don’t know what you’d be. Personally, I’d want to be in an illustrated book. Words are…they’re hard for me, I think.”
“Yeah, I think that fits with your whole,” she gestured at him. “Thing. Don’t be offended but…probably a kids book.”
“Huh?”
“You’re very chilled, I guess? You tend to bring out the best in people. I mean, it’s like you’re teaching Nagawa morals or something.”
“He’s not-”
“Hey, I didn’t say anything was wrong,” she interrupted, putting her hands up in a defensive position. “You just have a moralising effect, I guess. Like a kids book.”
“I guess that’s not so bad, then,” he replied. “You…you like travelling, right? Maybe you’d be a travelling journal.”
She smiled at him.
“I like the idea of travelling, I haven’t actually travelled much. But thanks, I appreciate it. I was half expecting you to say a ‘how-to-fight’ instruction book or something basic like that.”
Takeshi frowned.
“I think basing it all on our ‘talents’,” he said with air quotes. “Would be pretty boring all around.”
“Yeah, that’s true. Just for that though, you get an extra serving.”
Takeshi grinned. Little did she know, he was probably going to give half of it to Nakamigawa.
Notes:
A bit of a lighter chapter after Bartering Game! I hope you enjoyed it! :D
Chapter 28: Crime and Punishment
Summary:
The students continue with their day. Monomoko is called into the lab.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The med-bay was slowly getting emptier. It was a good thing too, because Kazutoshi was starting to feel faint. His head pounded, and he wanted nothing more than to collapse in his bed. Maybe Ken would join him, and Kazutoshi could soak up the body warmth he provides.
He glanced at Manami. She was nodding along to something Wada was excitedly explaining to her, but her eyes kept darting to the doorway. Then back to Wada. The doorway. Then Wada.
She couldn’t be more obvious if she tried.
“Tsuno,” he called. She sat up properly at the sound and then winced. He wondered how long it would take for her to stop doing that. “You should have someone stay with you. Wada can’t go back to the dorms, anyway.”
“I’ll stay too,” Miki volunteered.
“But…Miki, your room.”
“Manami I’ve been on the verge of a panic attack since I got here,” she said brightly. “It doesn’t matter where I am.”
“That…doesn’t sound healthy,” Wada replied.
Right. Kazutoshi thought. That’s done.
“Kazutoshi?” Ken asked, tilting his head a little as he examined him.
“I know, I know. I’m going back to my room now.”
Ken hesitated, glancing back at Miki.
“Will you be okay here?” he asked, his voice soft and gentle in a way he reserved usually solely for Kazutoshi.
“We’ll be fine,” Miki affirmed with a nod.
“Hasegawa, c’mon,” Kazutoshi insisted. The cadence made it sound like he was calling a dog over on a walk. Ken bounded over to him just like one. Kazutoshi pushed down his smile. Adorable.
“R-right!” he said, walking directly by Kazutoshi’s side. God, he couldn’t wait to get to his room.
–
The students were always extra gentle with each other after a game. It seemed to be instinctual. Even the prickly ones got softer, eyes roaming over whoever they came into contact with, searching for something. Monomoko didn’t understand what they were looking for.
Okazaki remained stationary in the auditorium. She wasn’t breathing properly, clutching her hand tight. She was hunched over, and Monomoko wondered if she was crying.
It had never seen her like this.
She didn’t look up when Monomoko made its usual entrance noise. She remained still, seemingly braced for something. It reminded Monomoko of the interns back at the lab.
“You don’t seem to be doing particularly well.”
She exhaled, just slightly louder than usual.
“Neither do you,” she said gently. Her voice was as soft as ever. Monomoko couldn’t understand her. Something hot and sudden settled inside it. Frustration, maybe. That’s what Yanagi had described in the student café.
“I am curious. Why do you isolate yourself like this? You are aware that you are in a killing game, are you not?”
She remained silent.
Okazaki’s plans never made much sense. Even before the killing game, she had set her place of residence on fire for seemingly no reason. Perhaps she never thought about sense. Perhaps she never thought at all - acting only on instinct.
Like Seki, in a way. For all his scheming, his barbs, his duplicity in Kan’s plans, he ran on instinct.
It just so happened that his instincts were largely apathetic.
It felt like everything that came into contact with that lab would rid itself of actionable empathy just to survive. Monomoko had seen the pictures of Okazaki when she was small. Pliable under Kan’s cruel hands.
Maybe it was better to burn the whole thing down. But then…there was potential. Real, human, potential that it would be snuffing out.
Tamemichi began to blossom during his time at home, under the care of Kitamuro. They wanted to travel together. Poemu had the potential to heal, to feel safe and whole in her body again.
It wasn’t just the interns. Higashigaki staunchly defended vulnerable scientists from abuse where she could. Consistently, she stuck her neck out, even after seeing what harm could befall her.
Maybe its solution wasn’t that at all. Maybe it just felt that way. If it killed everyone, if it destroyed everything, then externally, it could start anew.
But that infection, that resistance to actionable empathy, rested deep within Monomoko. It had allowed children to die under its watch. Worse. Children it had cared for. For that, it deserved to die.
An idea struck it.
“You are unable to protect yourself against the majority of the student body, if your file is correct. You are not very strong. Do you want to be hurt?”
Monomoko’s ear caught her sharp inhale, strangled half-way through, as if she could take it back. Watching her freeze up, her body tensing all over, it wondered if any of this was salvageable.
Someone was calling it.
“I am being called to attend to a matter of importance. Please excuse me.”
-
The lab was as uninviting as ever. The harsh white light only really lit up the centre of the room. The corners being dim made the whole room feel smaller. More compressed.
Dr Yonekura looked down at Monomoko through her glasses.
“You haven’t punished Fifteen. Why?”
Monomoko suddenly understood why humans curse.
“I was unsure whether the motive changed nullified the previous rules. The games and the motive are to coincide with each other, after all.”
Yonekura sighed and reached in her pocket for something. Her phone. Monomoko hoped she wouldn’t hand it over to Kan.
“Monomoko. I need your assurance that you are still dedicated to this project.”
Her words were sharp with knowledge that Monomoko did not possess. There was doubt, somewhere. Someone may have dredged it up, or Monomoko had failed, somehow. Perhaps its attachment to the students was too obvious.
“I am dedicated to this project, Dr Yonekura. I apologise for my mistake. Would you like me to rectify this mistake?”
“No. It’s too late now. Monomoko, Dr Kan is concerned that you are getting…emotionally invested in the subjects. Convince me that you’re not.”
“I do not know how you would like me to prove this. I have followed every order as closely as I can, and have used my own discretion when problems have arisen. Is there something more that you want me to be doing?”
She sighed again. Her phone pinged and she groaned. She waved Monomoko away.
“No, no. You can leave.” She turned to face it. Her expression was cold, every muscle carefully held in a neutral position. “Do not make me call you back here again, Monomoko.”
“Yes, Dr Yonekura.”
–
Kazutoshi groaned when the corner of one of Ken’s books nudged his leg. His eyes scrunched tightly for a few more seconds before he slowly opened them.
“Hardbacks on the bed? Really Ken?”
“S-sorry!” he said sheepishly. “I just got, um, caught up in something.”
Kazutoshi groaned again. His head was thumping. He squinted at the book in Ken's hands.
“Birdwatching? Since when are you into that?”
“Um…Harada mentioned it. I admittedly don’t know enough about it, if I’m honest.”
Kazutoshi huffed. What he probably meant is that he didn’t have an encyclopaedic knowledge of birds. He probably knew enough to write an essay or something.
More than Kazutoshi knew. He leaned forward and spotted a picture.
“Red Kite,” he read aloud.
“They’re actually pretty interesting in regards to conservation,” Ken said lightly.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah! Way back in Shakespeare’s time, they were pretty good at cleaning up waste, so you’d find them everywhere.”
“They’re pretty big for city birds,” Kazutoshi murmured, eyebrows furrowed. He couldn’t imagine how they’d navigate cities now.
“Unfortunately, they were soon considered pests. There were rewards available to those who killed red kites. As a result, they became heavily endangered. They actually had to fly in some foreign red kites just to restore them to a stable population in England.”
Kazutoshi raised his eyebrows.
“Damn, that’s weird. Why’d they think of them as pests though? Weren’t they like, cleaning up or whatever?”
Ken shrugged.
“I don’t know. I’ve only just started reading about them. It’s…it’s sad, though.”
Kazutoshi lingered on that feeling for only half a second. It resonated with him. Maybe because he had experience cleaning up the waste people carelessly left behind. Maybe because everyone had disregarded his existence too, hardly noticing when he quietly stepped away from life.
Ken would go as far as bringing in another country’s resources to bring him back. The unbidden thought almost made him laugh. The brunette's eyes were focused again, scurrying back and forth across the page in front of him. He was biting lightly on the knuckle on his forefinger as he read, completely enraptured.
Ken cared a lot. About everything. That’s precisely why he was so good at learning. He cared.
If Kazutoshi messed up, if he squandered that care, what would be left of Ken?
He willed the thought to leave him, silently massaging his head. God it hurt.
“So, what, are you reading about birds so you can talk to Harada more?”
Ken ripped his eyes away from the page, landing them squarely on Kazutoshi. At the sight of Kazutoshi’s grimace, he swiftly leaned to the side and passed him a water bottle. Unopened. Just waiting there, entirely within his reach.
He cared…so much.
“W-well, they’re pretty interesting is all! I-it would be nice to talk to Harada about it, actually,” he said thoughtfully, his eyes sliding off to the side as he spoke.
“So you two are friends now?”
Harada wasn’t a bad friend to have, in this place at least. He was kind, but could still stand up for himself. He needed Hasegawa to have more friends - ones that could protect him if the worst happened.
“I…I don’t know. We talk, I guess?”
He was bright red. His fingers were curled up in his sleeves. Fidgeting. He was beyond nervous. Anxious. Kazutoshi frowned.
“What happened? Did he do something?”
Harada seemed harmless, but so did Ken. And he knew exactly what Ken did last time.
Ken's eyes widened as he frantically shook his head. His hands came out his sleeves as he held them up in what was meant to be a comforting gesture.
“N-no! It was just…a little awkward.” Kazutoshi kept staring, eyebrows raised. It was almost funny how quick Ken folded. “He um…said I reminded him of his girlfriend? He-”
“What?”
It came out harsher than he meant to, sharpened by surprise.
“He was hitting on you?”
“I-no?” Ken was fidgeting again. “He apologised after, it’s just…embarrassing.”
“Jesus Ken, how many people are gonna hit on you in here?”
The brunette laughed, not looking him in the eye as he flushed.
“Well, Mikki doesn’t even like people like that, and Harada didn’t mean it so…none?”
“Pftt, as long as Ojima doesn’t stick a love note on your coffee, that is.”
“Kazutoshi!” Ken whined, getting even more red. “He wouldn’t! Besides, you know I already…”
Kazutoshi froze. So did Ken.
-
Nishino was on her back, under the dining room table. Lazily, she ran her eyes over the exposed nails. If she zoned out and stared for long enough, it felt like the table was getting closer. Then further away. Then closer again.
A short story anthology, huh? It didn’t connect with her, really. Short stories were complete. Final. Easy to digest. They all held up on their own, and yet they came together as one big piece.
She wasn’t like that. Inconsistent. Unreliable. If she separated her life into spheres, then she shoved the wrong contents into the wrong container. She had chosen to have fun in a killing game, and her carelessness had cost lives.
Even her death was careless. Unthinking, really, even as she doomed her friend to a horrific end.
The tiles were cool on her back. She shivered, and winced at the pain. No matter how much she wanted to escape it, she was trapped within her body.
When she got out of here, maybe then she could shove this experience away into another container. She’d go back to her life before.
Making breakfast for everyone - doing the dishes. Making sure her brothers actually kept their uniform on right so she wouldn’t have to wait for them in detention. Giving her Mum some food, since she never ate anything proper despite the fact that she was pregnant.
Lessons. Lessons. None of them stuck in her brain, because her brother was sick the night before, and she was the one who had to look after him. Resentment tore her apart in maths class. Guilt at lunch. Resignation at three, when she would pick up her siblings and direct them to one of their clubs. That way, she could have time for her dance.
The day one of them quit their club, she would lose that. The only time she had for herself.
She didn’t want to be here. But, the first time around, she had grappled with a sickening sensation. She didn’t want to be at home, either.
Every sphere of her life was tainted, precisely because she was present in all of them.
–
Manamai whimpered. Shigeki startled, stumbling over to her. He’d almost fallen asleep.
“Manami?” he asked, his voice soft.
“Get…get Nagawa,” she replied. She was tense all over, trembling violently as she said it. Her tone was tight, clearly because of the pain.
“Hiroaki?”
“Yanagi,” she whined, heaving a little after she spoke. “Please.”
“O-okay, I’ll be right back.”
Hiroaki groaned when Shigeki banged on his door.
“What do you want?” he snapped, his voice petulant.
“Tsuno is calling for you,” he said simply. His jaw clenched, and he nodded.
“Let’s go.”
When they arrived, Manami zeroed in on Hiroaki like there was no one else in the room.
“Nagawa,” she said. She sounded croaky.
“Not my name,” he responded. He paused. “You look like shit.”
Her hair was slowly but surely escaping Isono’s hair-tie. It wasn’t voluminous like it usually was. It remained stuck flat to her scalp, damp from sweat. Her face had an oily sheen on it, and her lips were cracked. Shigeki frowned.
He was blunt, but Hiroaki wasn’t wrong.
“Nagawa,” she repeated. “I…you can’t let me take them.”
“You’ve literally been branded. Badly. She kept that thing on you for way too long.” He folded his arms across his chest. “You’re gonna want them.”
“I know that!” she snapped. “Sorry…I just…I know that. I just…I can’t lose control in here, okay? I can’t.”
“Who says you will?”
“I can’t risk it, you know that! Nagawa, please!”
He sighed.
“What do you want me to do?” he said it evenly, his tone flat in a way that was unlike him.
“Just…just don’t let me.”
He considered her for a second, before settling into the chair beside her bed.
“Fine. Yanagi, you go.”
When he hesitated for a second, Hiroaki began to shoo him away.
“Go! Bed! Sleep!”
Manami exhaled in place of laughter, and Shigeki fondly rolled his eyes. He could trust Hiroaki with her, at least.
Notes:
Good job nyxiedoodlyy for catching onto the Watari thing!
Also if you're wondering what happened after the scene with Kamimura and Hasegawa I can sum it up for you: they both stared at each other longingly, hated themselves, and then kept talking about birds. I love them but they are HOPELESS.
Next up is the Penalty Game! I hope you're all ready for it!
Chapter 29: Penalty Game
Summary:
The Penalty Game begins.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The students gathered slowly this morning. Tsuno was not the first there, waiting at the end of the hallway for Hiroaki to arrive. Hiroaki, Ojima and Tsuno arrived together, all clinging to each other. Monomoko let guilt lap at it like a flame. Tsuno was suffering.
A place like this was engineered to make her suffer. Anyone who wanted to do good would suffer especially badly here. And yet, Monomoko hadn’t protected her.
Kamimura was in a wheelchair again, wheeling himself sluggishly into the auditorium. Hama was there already, anxiously tapping his foot on the ground with his arms crossed, clearly not taking in whatever Harada and Hasegawa were talking about.
Hasegawa brought Ojima coffee this time. He offered it tentatively, twitching slightly when Ojima reached out to take it.
Sasaki hesitated when she entered the room, only calming down when Ojima called her over.
They were all so young. So unsure. So cautious.
Watari was surprisingly the last one to arrive. She seemed directionless. Unfocused in a way that was unusual for her.
“Thankyou for gathering this morning. Today you will be playing the Penalty Game. It is rather simple.”
“Great,” Ojima muttered, glaring at the equipment table. “Another game. Just what we need.”
“During each round, a student will be presented with two punishments. They must choose one.”
“What, are they recycling Decision Game again?” Tamba asked.
“Let us begin.”
–
Keizou hadn’t expected Hasegawa to want to talk to him again this morning after the disaster that was yesterday. But the man glanced at him three times, opening his mouth and then snapping it shut before Keizou finally put him out of his misery.
When he had, Hasegawa had been enthusiastic, rattling off bird facts with an excitement Keizou had rarely seen from him. It was endearing, he could admit.
He tried to focus on that rather than the game starting. He’d take his little wins where he could get them.
“I’m so glad you’re making friends, Keizou!” Airi said cheerfully, ignoring the randomizer sound entirely.
He laughed nervously. Talking during this bit always felt like talking in class. Like he was worried about being caught, somehow.
“Thanks, Airi,” he replied. “It’s nice to have something good to tell Yukino.”
She grinned at him and agreed, mischief in her eyes. He was so excited for them to meet.
“Isono Miki. Please step forward.”
Isono swallowed, gripping her forearms tightly as she walked towards the equipment table.
“Your punishments are: no access to the dormitories until the next killing, or you must concuss Wada Masanari. Please select one.”
“What?” she replied, her voice breathy as she recoiled. “I’m not doing that!”
“Please select a punishment.”
“I-Masa doesn’t have dorm access anyway, so I’ll just stay with him.”
“Understood. You may now return to your seat.”
Keizou’s eyes wandered over to Wada. The man was relaxed in his seat, as if he’d never had any doubt at all.
Maybe Airi and Ran were like that the first time around. Unable to comprehend that he’d ever hurt them. He swallowed, and strained his ear to listen to Isono and Wada’s conversation. They were too quiet.
“Harada Keizou. Please step forward.”
On shaky legs, he walked to the front, relying entirely on the weight of his backpack to keep him from straying into a desk. After Kamimura cleaned his room, he’d broken down to Ran, confessing that it was only the weight in his backpack that kept him walking straight. And that weight, Sawa…she was gone.
Ran had poured in some protective salt and a demonology book that had come with his workstation. The thing was heavy, and kept Keizou firmly grounded. According to Ran, it also left him spiritually protected, though considering the place they were in, he wasn’t sure how relevant that was.
“Your punishments are: no contact with Chiba Airi or Hama Ran for three days following the games closure or, you must make them both kneel and kick them both five times in the stomach.”
Keizou gasped, unsteady on his feet. He knew what they were doing. Isolation, or violence. The two things he hated most.
The people he had made kneel, the people he had made bleed, were nameless to him. Their faces were foreign. He remembered the elation, the power, the panicked glances to his friends. Was it enough? Enough cruelty for approval?
The people begging on their knees for him to stop hadn’t mattered to him. Their pleas, their cries - it had meant nothing.
He had done that to people. All for the sake of, what? Not being the one on his knees? The ache in his chest that screamed out for company, shaking every time someone got close?
“...the first one.”
He didn’t look at Ran or Airi. Whether they were relaxed or anxious, both would strike him. Both would make him feel hollow.
He took a breath. Don’t think about it.
–
Airi hated this kind of game.
“So one punishment hurts you, and the other makes you hurt others?” she asked. She said it like it was a guess, but she knew she was right. Whoever made these games loved to do that.
“Seems like it,” Hasegawa agreed. Keizou wouldn’t look at her. He wouldn’t look at Ran, either.
She and Ran exchanged a glance. She opened her mouth-
“Chiba Airi. Please step forward.”
“Right,” she whispered. As she passed, she tugged on one of Keizou’s backpack straps. He glanced up briefly, and she smiled at him. He seemed stunned.
Nagawa kept glancing at Manami, his mouth pressed into a thin line.
“Your punishments are: slash the back of an unwilling friend, or slash the back of Okazaki Hanano.”
Airi froze.
“What? I - no. Neither.”
“You must select a punishment.”
She scowled. Her heart thumped in her chest. This wasn’t right. None of this was-
“Just give it to Okazaki,” Ojima said firmly.
“I-” she turned wild eyes onto Nagawa, who was bouncing his leg up and down.
“How would you know that a friend is unwilling?” he finally asked. The light caught his glasses, the red glass glinting as his head turned slightly to the right.
“I will know.”
“Right,” Takeshi grumbled. “Super helpful.”
Keizou grimaced, before pushing his chair back. The scrape made her turn.
“I could-”
“It has to be unwilling, dumbass,” Kazutoshi spat.
“I don’t feel that willing,” he said with a skewed smile.
“Then why would you?-”
“Harada Keizou is an acceptable choice. He is not willing.”
“He’s literally volunteering!” Tamba countered.
“He does not wish to.”
Airi stared, stunned.
“Then why?” she asked, trying to get her fingers to stop shaking.
Keizou walked to the front as if she had already chosen. She hadn’t. She hadn’t.
“Yeah, great point - why?” Nagawa said. “When we could just give it to Okazaki.”
“Because there’s no ‘we’ in this,” Keizou said, his tone a little sharp as he addressed him. “It’s Airi’s choice, and she shouldn’t have to go back on her principles just for this game. That’s not fair.”
“So then, what? Her principles involve hurting a friend?”
“Just-” Keizou took a deep breath, hands squeezing his backpack straps for a second. He closed his eyes, and then opened them, resuming his path to Airi. He sank down onto one knee to address her. His voice was so quiet she was sure no one else could hear him. “Once you go back on your principles, it’s hard to forgive yourself. You’re a good person, Airi. I don’t want you to have to forgive yourself for anything.”
“But-but I’d be hurting you!” she whispered. Tears were threatening to fall. Her face felt warm in an uncomfortable way.
“I volunteered.”
“But you don't want to.”
“Somewhere, I must want to,” he replied. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have. Please trust me, Airi.”
She took a deep breath, and extended her pinkie finger.
“Promise?”
He grinned and hooked his finger around hers.
“Promise.”
Slowly he took off his backpack, leaning a little too far to the left mid-way through taking it off. She tried to stand in front of him, in the way of him and the rest of the group. She was small, but it was something. He brought his other knee to the floor and turned away from the group, so his back was facing them. Finally, he took his hat off.
“Look after this for a minute?” he said with a small smile. It expanded when she excitedly placed it on her own head. It was too big, but he always got happy when she wore it. Slowly, he shrugged off his shirt and gave it to Airi to place on the table.
He and Ran would match now, at least. Maybe in the next game she’d get one too. The thoughts were distant, automatic as she picked up the knife at Monomoko’s behest.
She was shaking. She could hear her own breathing, uneven and ragged. All other sounds were muffled.
“I’ll be quick,” she whispered. She was sure Keizou didn’t hear her. Pulling back her arm, she resisted the urge to squeeze her eyes shut.
He cried out, his voice hoarse as the knife made contact with skin. Like with Sasaki, Airi felt sick watching the skin split apart. She never knew the human body was so fragile, before this.
She gagged, and stepped back. Blood from the knife dripped onto the floor. She remained still. Listless. Keizou looked back at her and then at his shirt. He could lean to get it, but his balance was really bad.
Mechanically, she placed the knife down, and passed him his shirt back.
“I-”
The tears came quick and fast. A downpour that forced out choked sobs as she wiped her face.
“It’s okay, Airi, it’s okay! I volunteered, remember?”
He leaned down to hug her, but winced. She offered her hand to help him up. He took it, but put no weight on it, practically getting up by himself. He teetered getting the backpack on, but she knew he needed it.
“Dude, seriously? Just go without the bag,” Kazutoshi snarked.
Keizou ignored him and stumbled back to his seat. Airi remained close to him. Blood would soon soak through his shirt. His backpack.
“You should take it off now that you’re sat,” Ran mumbled, nodding at the bag.
“O-okay,” he whispered back, following the direction seemingly without thought.
“Kamimura Kazutoshi. Please step forward.”
“Step, seriously?” he retorted, gesturing at his wheelchair. “Jesus fucking Christ I hate this place.”
“G-good luck,” Ken said quietly. Slowly, he wheeled himself to the front. He looked really pale today. Airi had heard he was helping out in the med-bay yesterday. It must’ve wiped him out.
She wondered what she could be doing to help.
“Your punishments are: every student will be made to read your student profile, or you must dip Hasegawa’s hands in item three.”
“What the fuck is item three?”
“You may inspect it.”
With a quick glare at the rabbit, he turned to the table, lifting the blanket for a moment before dropping it like it burned him.
“I’m not!-” he paused, his voice slurring as he leaned back in the chair.
“Ka-Kazutoshi?” Ken called. “What is it?”
“It’s bleach,” he replied. “I’m not doing that.”
“But y-your file!”
“I mean, we can just choose to not read it, right?” Tamba asked.
“No. You must all read it,” Monomoko responded.
“R-really Kazutoshi, I’ll be fine. Chemical burns aren’t-”
“Hasegawa,” he snapped, sitting up in his chair again. “I said I’m not doing it.”
“R-right.”
“The file will be distributed tomorrow morning. You may return to your seat.”
“Already in it,” he spat, posture tense as he fumed.
Notes:
This game is going to be fairly brutal I won't lie, Kan and Tatematsu are both incredibly frustrated at this point in the story due to Monomoko's meddling and they're more than willing to release that frustration in their game designs :D
You'll be seeing more of Monomoko as this fic goes on!
Chapter 30: Penalty Game Part Two
Summary:
The Penalty Game continues. Some students find loopholes. Others do not.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Hayashi Mai. Please step forward.”
Mai inhaled, and tried not to kick the rabbit. Even if it was saving them, she could be mad at it right now. This was torture. Actual fucking torture.
“For your punishment, you must take five blows to the stomach with a bat from someone you trust, and following the end of this game, you must be locked in an enclosed space for three days. Or, you must slap Yanagi Shigeki five times. He must be standing for each strike.”
“What the fuck?” she snarled. “That's two punishments in one! How is that fair?”
“I did not make the punishments.”
Mai grimaced. How could the rabbit be asking for mercy, for freedom to escape judgment when it was right in the middle of torturing them? The audacity alone made her shake.
“Why an enclosed space? You’re not claustrophobic like Wada, are you?” Hiroaki drawled.
“Ohmygod can you stay out of people’s business for literally five minutes?” Kazutoshi snapped. He was sweating, clearly from exertion. This game, this environment…it was too much. And yet he had spoken up for her.
She swallowed the feeling down. All feelings down.
She wasn’t a little girl anymore, locked in a tiny closet in some shitty house. He was dead and buried under a pseudonym no one remembered. He was pathetic - the life he had most impacted was Mai’s.
No one remembered him, not even under his real name. Not really.
She had won.
She was shaking.
“Mai,” Shige said, his tone tight. When the fuck had he gotten to the front? “Mai, breathe, it’s okay.”
“I’m fine, Yanagi,” her response came out like a gasp. She tugged at her hair. She never got like this. What the fuck was happening to her?
Distantly, she recognised it as an anxiety attack. Frustration curled up her spine as she hunched over. Of course. She had to have it in front of everyone.
At least they had the decency to look away.
“Mai, I would much rather you slap me.”
“I-! I’m not doing that.”
“No one here wants to hit you with a bat, Mai,” he shot back, putting an emphasis on ‘bat’. “A few slaps is nothing. We need you around, too. Please, Mai. We need all the hands we can get.”
“Sasaki,” she called. The girl was staring at her, laser focused. “Is this true?”
“...Yes. A lot of us are indisposed due to injuries or ill health. If something were to happen, it wouldn’t be ideal. But it is your decision, Hayashi.”
“You can just make the slaps light, can’t you?” Chiba spoke up.
“They must make him fall,” Monomoko instructed. She could see the cogs turning in Shigeki’s head. His eyebrows furrowed, as though the rabbit had revealed some significant hint.
His brilliant blue eyes returned to meet hers.
“Be gentle. Trust me.”
“I haven’t decided yet!”
“Mai,” he groaned. “Please.”
“Fine. Fine!”
Shigeki’s stance suddenly turned casual. Knees unlocked, not a single muscle tensed. Ah. She understood. He was going to fall no matter what.
She raised her arm, and examined him for panic. His eyes followed the movement, and then moved over to her face. She found no panic there. Only resignation.
Pushing through the movement with as little force as possible, she let out a surprised sound when she made contact with the skin. The sound of it was loud as the group stared on, silent. Shigeki went straight to the floor.
“Oh,” Ojima said, like he had just figured out what they were doing. Of course he would figure it out late.
She held out a hand and he took it with a breathy laugh.
“Four more,” he whispered.
“Four more,” she agreed.
He remained unsteady as she pulled back again, his eyes glinting with mischief. The sound of skin meeting skin was loud again. He hit the floor with a soft groan, but took her hand without complaint.
He nodded at her when he stood again, a small smile inching up his face.
She suppressed her own smile. God, he was dumb. His cheeks were flushed, not just from her hands. His breath came quickly, and his eyes were sparkling. She clearly wasn’t the only one who was exhilarated by skating around the rules.
“What the fuck?” Hiroaki muttered. She lowered her arm and he went down again, folding easily.
His hand twitched upwards, like he wanted to hold his cheek.
“Same cheek or a different one?” she asked quietly.
“S-same,” he answered, putting his weight in her hand as she pulled him up.
“Gotcha. Two more, yeah?”
“Yes.”
He kept himself loose, uncoordinated as she pulled back her arm again. She wasn’t about to drag this out.
“I can’t believe he fucking likes this,” Hiroaki complained.
“Nakamigawa!” Takeshi admonished.
Something shifted in Shigeki’s expression. For the first time since he got up here, he seemed uncertain. She followed through with the movement, and watched him tumble to the ground.
This time, she knelt in front of him, offering her hand. He cradled his face in his hand for a second as he got his bearings.
“You okay?”
She reached out to take his hand in hers. He flinched back, eyes wide and panicked.
“O-oh, I apologize, I’m perfectly-”
“Yanagi,” she warned, her tone sharp. “Don’t lie to me right now.”
“I…I just had a moment of panic, is all.”
Slowly, she helped him up.
“One more, okay?”
“O-okay.”
He tensed and untensed. She nodded at him, and he took a deep breath. He held himself loosely again. She raised her arm back, and he followed the movement, his eyes darting to her hand.
It made contact with his skin, and he fell for the final time. Horror dawned on her.
His ex.
His hurt.
She swallowed, crouching down by his side in a way she hoped didn’t come across as too hurried.
He looked up at her with glazed eyes.
“Shige?”
“I’m perfectly alright, Miss-”
She put her hand over his mouth.
“No prince shit. Shige, what’s wrong?”
His jaw tightened, and he turned away. He didn’t answer.
“We’re talking about this later,” she finally said, hoping there was some authority left in her tone. He still allowed her to take some of his weight as she helped him up. There was that.
–
“Wada Masanari. Please step forward.”
Hitomi’s eyes swept over the boy as he inched closer to the front. Small. Thin. Fragile. The words came to mind before she could stop them. It was cruel to have him here.
“For your punishment, you may choose to be locked in a cage for three days, or you may choose to slash Tsuno Manami’s back.”
Tsuno inhaled sharply. Hitomi knew the girl had been to rehab before. From Tsuno’s jerky, slow movements, she assumed it must be for opioids. There was no other reason to endure that pain.
Wada’s breathing immediately got shaky.
“Masa,” Tsuno called. “It’s-”
Hiroaki opened his mouth, face crinkled in outrage, when Isono spoke up.
“It’s not okay, Manami!” she snapped. “Don’t lie!”
Manami curled inward, physically shrinking under the other girl's rage.
“M-miki!” Hasegawa tried to interject.
“Don’t yell at her!” Hiroaki shouted. She was digging her nails into her forearms again.
“I-I…” a strangled noise left Wada. His face went lax from surprise. He ran his wide eyes over the room, and tried to push sound out again. When nothing came, his hands scrambled at his throat, as if he could push it out.
Hasegawa looked at Yanagi, who still seemed somewhat unresponsive. He was moving on autopilot.
The brunette caught eyes with her, and then quickly turned away. He sat up straighter for a moment, and then sighed.
“Monomoko,” he finally said. “He’s mute, right now. He physically cannot speak.”
“He must still select a punishment.”
“Wada,” Sasaki called. His hands were frozen on his throat as his eyes landed on her. “Hold up one finger for option one, and two fingers for option two. Do you need to hear them again?”
Slowly, he shook his head and detached his hands from his neck. His hand was violently shaking as he held up one finger.
The cage.
“Masa,” Miki whispered, something unknown on the edge of her voice.
He stumbled back to the tables, and collapsed into Miki’s arms. Her voice was calming as she soothed him. They clung to each other, and Miki’s eyes kept darting over to Manami’s back.
“Sasaki Hitomi. Please step forward.”
Great. Takeshi gave her a firm nod. She wondered how he hadn’t checked out yet. If she had the ability to, she would.
“For your punishment, you may choose to have someone touching you at all times for three days, or you may choose to waterboard Ojima Takeshi.”
“The first one,” she said quickly. She didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want to even consider it. Takeshi thrashing in the water, completely unresponsive. Coughing, spluttering, with betrayal in his eyes. No. She couldn’t do that. No.
“Does she get to choose the student?” Nakamigawa questioned. His tone and body language was casual, but she could see the tension there. Well, fine. She didn’t wanna be stuck with him anyway.
“This student will be randomly selected.”
Hitomi tensed, squeezing her eyes shut. Anyone but Okazaki, anyone but Okazaki. The mantra repeated in her head.
“Tsuno Manami.”
She sighed.
“Following the end of this game, Sasaki Hitomi and Tsuno Manami must be touching at all times for three days.”
Tsuno gave her a strained smile. Isono’s bloodied face flashed in Hitomi’s mind.
At least it wasn’t Okazaki, she thought.
“Ojima Takeshi, please step forward.”
She returned the nod he gave her earlier. His mouth twitched upwards.
“For your punishment, you may choose to recount a traumatic event, or read out Hiroaki Nakamigawa’s student profile.”
“That’s not fair!” Hitomi cried. The words left her before she could stop herself. “You know that’s not-”
“Hitomi,” Nakamigawa said calmly. When she caught his gaze, he turned to Takeshi. Takeshi was frozen, his mouth opening and closing without any sound coming out. Terror. Pure, unadulterated terror. She recognised it as it seeped into the room. “Takehsi. Read my file.”
“B-but you - that’s, that’s not…it’s private!” He turned to the rabbit, trembling as his breaths came faster. They were getting more shallow by the second. “Monomoko, please. You can’t do this. Please.”
“Takeshi, it’s fine, just read my file.”
“I-I can’t! I can’t!”
“Wait,” Tsuno said, her voice ragged. “Physical traumas count as traumatic, don’t they?”
“...I don’t see why they wouldn’t,” Monomoko replied.
“How many bones have you broken again, Ojima?”
Takeshi straightened.
“Manami, you’re a genius!”
She giggled and pushed away the praise. Hitomi raised her eyebrows. One rule had already been danced around this game. Was two too obvious?
She clenched her hands in the fabric of her skirt. That, she’d have to leave up to Monomoko. Even if she hated it.
“I broke my collarbone by falling on a table during a family event,” he said lightly. “I uh…I broke the table, too.”
When Monomoko didn’t say anything, he continued.
“It was because I was checked out, and some family friends were talking. One of my cousins was trying to shoulder barge me, I think? That’s what my brother said, anyway. I don’t think my cousins really like me all that much. But, um…yeah. That’s it, I think.”
Hitomi let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding when Monomoko said he could go back to his seat.
-
“Okazaki Hanano. Please step forward.”
Ran tensed instinctively. Okazaki had haunted the place even after she had died, the first time around. She had certainly left something permanent on Nishino. It was like her ghost clung to the girl's back, wrapping itself around her so that Nishino could never forget her.
He glanced at Wada, keeping his eyes firmly on him as Okazaki passed. Hearing Wada wheeze, sobbing at his podium as he clutched his torso the last time around gave him a sinking, heavy feeling. This time, he wouldn’t miss anything. He couldn’t.
“For your punishment, you may choose to have your student profile read by everyone, or you may choose to slash Watari Nishino’s back.”
Nishino inhaled shakily, the skin on her knuckles going lighter as she gripped the edges of her desk.
Okazaki remained still. Her fingers twitched, but there was no other sign she had heard what the rabbit said.
The silence stretched.
“Seriously?” he finally said. “She’s literally your only-”
“Hama,” Nishino interrupted, her voice sharp. “Don’t.”
No one else spoke. Okazaki was still up there, perfectly still. It was too quiet. Manami winced as she adjusted her position. No one spoke.
Silence reigned over the auditorium for another three minutes.
“My…my student profile,” she said finally.
Nishino didn’t untense. Her eyes narrowed as she followed Okazaki’s movements. Ran didn’t know what she found there. He didn’t know why she inhaled, her eyes going wide as she stared at Okazaki like she’d never seen her before.
He never knew what to make of their relationship.
“Hama Ran. Please step forward.”
Keizou gave him a wobbly smile. It collapsed in on itself, vanishing when Ran didn’t immediately return it. He squeezed the smaller man's shoulder and smiled back.
“You’ve got this!” Airi cheered.
“Yeah, yeah,” he replied, making his way to the front.
“For your punishment, you may choose to be restrained for three days following the closing of this game, or kick Wada Masanari seven times.”
“That’s easy,” he replied. Memories slithered in. Those blank, white walls stared back at him. His limbs were screaming for release, he was screaming for release. He didn’t know when he’d started that. It was too much, and they’d left him.
It wasn’t out of malice. They’d genuinely forgotten that he existed.
When they returned, they laughed about it, teasing him for his drama. A sick, heavy feeling kept him grounded in a body that he desperately needed to escape.
He had never felt less human in his life.
“The first one. I’m not gonna beat up Masanari for no reason.”
“T-thanks,” Masanari responded, his tone hushed. Ran rolled his eyes.
“Don’t thank me. It was a stupid punishment, I was never going to pick that.”
He was surprised when a hand caught his sleeve on the way back to his seat. Tamba.
“I’ll be there,” she said firmly.
Ran swallowed. He couldn’t be vulnerable, not right now.
“Yeah,” he replied lamely.
“Tsuno Manami.”
Ran’s punishment was forgotten just by her name being called. Everyone sat up straighter, more alert, when she sluggishly pushed herself up, and then cried out at the movement. He could see tears rolling down her cheeks.
“Please step forward.”
“You can’t be serious!” Ojima yelled.
Hayashi rushed to her side, whispering something in an urgent tone. Manami nodded, and Hayashi lifted her up, taking care to avoid her back. Manami clung to her arms, face crinkled in pain as she cried.
“For your punishment, you may choose to ingest item seven, or brand another student.”
Manami seemed lost, her eyes glazed over as she slowly set her gaze onto the table.
“What?-”
Hayashi lifted the cloth.
“Fuck,” she said softly. “It’s…it’s painkillers. The kind you don’t want.”
“I…this isn’t fair.”
Her shoulders shook as she began to sob, leaning almost entirely on Hayashi.
“No…I worked so hard! Please,” she shuddered, and it made her breath hitch. “I…it was so hard. I can’t…I can’t do this again.”
“You can,” Hayashi said firmly. “And you still have another choice. No one would blame you if you chose to brand Okazaki back.”
“No,” she recoiled like the suggestion itself hurt her. “No. I’m not - no.”
Ran squirmed in his seat. Seeing someone he admired so much in this much pain made him feel restless. Frustrated.
“I…I’ll take them.”
Hayashi sighed, but picked them up. Manami held her hand out for them, but it was shaking too heavily. Too much. Hayashi reached out and held her wrist still.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly as she placed the pills in her palm.
“There’s nothing…I…Hayashi, don’t let me…”
“I’ll keep an eye on you. You’ll be okay. I promise.”
Manami cried more, her breaths catching as she nodded. She tipped her head back and inhaled.
Ran looked away. This wasn’t fair. The phrase, as childish as it was, hammered in his chest. It felt faster than his heartbeat, endlessly volumizing until it was all he could think about.
Manami always tried so hard, every single day. Ran had seen how hard that was, had watched friends, family members, hell even the people he was locked up with, struggle with addiction.
Some of them never made it.
Manami…Manami had. She had achieved every recovery centre's dream. She had reached the end of that story, firmly out of recovery. To send her back to the start…his breath hitched.
He wanted to be home. He needed to be home. Not here, watching people suffer. Not here, watching his friends be pushed to their limits. Ran felt himself tear up. He wanted his Mum.
“Hiroaki Nakamigawa. Please step forward.”
Notes:
I've seen comments with SO many accurate punishment predictions you guys are BRILLAINT at this!
Hayashi and Yanagi giggling like little shits when breaking rules I love them SO much
Tsuno my BELOVED why do I torture you so
Chapter 31: Penalty Game Part Three
Summary:
The Penalty Game continues and Monomoko clarifies some rules.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“I-Takeshi?” his voice sounded small. Wobbly.
“It’s okay,” Ojima said gently. “Whatever it is, we…we’ll get through it.”
Ruiko felt like she should look away. Nakamigawa was never meant to sound that small. Not ever.
Fear crept up her throat. Her turn was probably going to be soon. There were only so many people left.
“For your punishment, you may choose to cut and squeeze out a student's blood into item eight, or you may choose to undress Ojima Takeshi.”
“What?”
It sounded like the air was punched out of him. Ruiko understood the feeling, her eyes wide. That…that was too much. Way too much.
“No, that’s-” Ojima began, his blue eyes racing back and forth across the room. Like he was being hunted.
“That’s way too much!” she yelled. “What kind of creeps run this game, anyway? We’re like, kids!”
“The word you’re looking for is minors, Rui,” Toshi interjected. “But, yeah, she has a point. What the fuck?”
“Hiroaki Nakamigawa. Please select a punishment.”
Sometimes, it felt like Monomoko wasn’t even trying to help them.
“I-I’m not doing the second one, hell no!”
Ojima swallowed, his jaw clenched tight. Nakamigawa’s voice was pitched up, tight and brittle as he answered.
“The-I’m doing the blood one. That’s…” he trailed off, glancing briefly at Ojima. He was checked out. Completely.
“A student is being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“Ojima Takeshi. Please step forward.”
“You’re kidding,” Nakamigawa snapped. “He’s completely out of it! What do you expect me to do?”
“You may complete the punishment with Ojima Takeshi in his seat.”
“How generous of you,” he snarked, his jaw clenched as he lifted the blanket on the equipment table. Silently, he grabbed the knife and a small vial. “This is the right one?”
“Yes.”
His footsteps were loud, echoing as he walked over to his friend. Ruiko held her breath.
Nakamigawa inhaled shakily.
“Okay, Takeshi,” he muttered, placing the vial and knife down with a clink. He held his hands up to his chest, firmly within Ojima’s view as he began to explain. “I’m gonna…ugh…gonna cut your arm, okay? Then I’m gonna,” he gagged, and Manami’s eye twitched. “I’m gonna…urgh…squeeze it out into this thing.”
He got no response. Ojima remained in his chair, completely lax.
He didn’t resist the movement when Nakamigawa placed his arm on the table. His breath didn’t stutter. There was no recognition in his eyes. Ruiko recoiled and averted her eyes.
Staring down at her desk, she heard movement. Gagging. Nakamigawa complaining. Ojima’s breath shook, but he remained as he was. Completely gone.
It was too much. Far too much.
Blankly, she stared at her shoes. They squeezed a little around her toes. Shoes always did that to her feet. Desperately, she tried to focus on that stifling feeling.
“Tamba Ruiko. Please step forward.”
–
Nishino kept her eyes forward. She didn’t want to look at Hanano. Every twitch, every turn of her head, made her want to turn.
Why?
It’s all she wanted to ask her. Why refuse to hurt her now, when she’d already done so before? Why pretend to care about her, when she clearly didn’t?
Yesterday, she had cradled her mangled hand close to her chest as Nishino left the auditorium.
She reacted to the pain as though she was welcoming it home. As if it was entirely usual.
Tamba reached the front of the room.
“For your punishment, you may choose to have your leg broken, or stab either Yanagi Shigeki or Hayashi Mai in the foot.”
Tamba didn’t respond. Like Hanano, she remained motionless, as if the question circled the perimeter of her ears but didn’t quite breach its borders.
“Shige, sit down,” Mai yelled.
Nishino kept her eyes forward.
But then she was looking at Tamba Ruiko. Motionless, arms held carelessly at her sides. Her shoulder blades protruded from her back. Her hair had been hastily shoved back, and yet it didn’t move an inch.
“Tamba,” Sasaki called out. Tamba whirled around. Nishino spotted panic in her eye and wondered if maybe Tamba also sometimes thought of Sasaki still as a ghost.
When they had tried to summon her, they couldn’t think too hard about who she had been. Only what she had symbolised. Order. Leadership. Rules.
Hanano, forever clueless about personal space, had placed her chin on top of Nishino’s head when she sat criss-crossed on the med-bay floor. Tamba's knee had bumped against hers.
“Tamba, a broken leg can be fixed. A stab wound is much harder to handle.”
Sasaki glanced at Tsuno, and snapped her mouth shut. Usually, she’d ask for Tsuno to back her up.
But their medic was face down on the desk, arms wrapped around herself.
“That is correct,” Yanagi added.
“I…the leg, then,” she said quietly. Her voice sounded frail, wobbling as she spoke. It seemed like she had finally registered her environment. Her situation.
What exactly was about to happen to her.
“A student is being randomly selected. Please stand by.”
“Isono Miki. Please step forward.”
“I...but I don’t know how to break a leg!”
“You will be instructed,” Monomoko said calmly.
Isono took a shaky breath. Her chair screeched as she stood up. Nishino couldn’t help but think that it was exceptionally cruel to choose her for this. She wasn’t used to this - she was Isono. Bubbly, light, airy in a way that made everyone feel refreshed and grounded.
“I-I really don’t think I’m the best person for this,” she added when she got to the front.
Monomoko instructed her to tie a cinder block to Tamba’s leg.
“Like this?”
Tamba whimpered. Skin slapped on skin. Nishino’s eyes darted up for a second. Tamba had both her hands clapped over her mouth, her eyes wide and wet as she stared down in horror.
“Yeah, you’ve got it right,” ‘Toshi assured her. “It’s to prevent her joints from buckling before…before anything breaks.”
Isono was instructed to pick up a hammer. Nishino shut her eyes and tried to pretend that she was under the table again. There was nothing to focus on. It was just her and the wood.
Tamba wailed. Something loud thudded on the floor. For a few seconds, she panted, crying out with every exhale. Nishino heard scrambling. People were moving. Desks were scraping on the ground.
Tamba was sobbing, and Nishino couldn’t imagine the table anymore.
Only a friend that she had left behind, screaming in pain, saliva escaping the corners of her mouth as she heaved. They locked eyes, but Tamba’s held no recognition.
Her pale eyes were glazed over with agony.
–
Kazutoshi tried to keep himself calm. He counted his breaths. Now wasn’t the time to pass out. Rui’s breaths had turned into haggard gasps. Mai and Yanagi were crouched next to her whispering something he couldn’t hear.
Miki came back to her seat in a daze. Wada reached out for her, his arms open. Manami looked like Ojima, completely lax, her upper body curled over her desk.
Not once did Miki look up from Wada’s shoulder. She remained there, shaking violently.
Chiba looked like she was in a similar state. She was still being soothed by Hama and Harada. Okazaki and Nishino were both stock still. For the former, he wasn’t surprised and he frankly, didn’t give a shit. But Nishino?
He frowned.
Half the group was crying, or in shock, or desperately trying to yank someone out of those two states. Ojima was out, Hiroaki was poking Manami, worry making his mouth thin and straight.
Only Sasaki Hitomi remained calm. She sat up straight, as if they were in a lecture. Her eyes bounced around each group, and then settled back on the rabbit.
He was self-aware enough to admit he envied her.
Especially because Ken’s turn would be soon. There were only three left.
He knew, whatever Ken’s turn would be, it would rattle him. Something or other would make him feel sick and fuzzy, on the edge of vomiting, passing out, or both.
“Hasegawa Ken.” He grimaced. Fuck. It was too soon. He wasn’t prepared yet! “Please step forward.”
“For your punishment, you may choose to remain separated from Kamimura Kazutoshi for three days, or make him ingest item ten.”
Rui, despite the fact that she was still sobbing, looked up and opened her mouth.
“Is item ten poison?”
“Ohmygod Rui can you stop with the poison for literally two fucking seconds,” he snapped.
“It could be!” she said, and then cried out when Yanagi prodded her leg to examine it. He said something to Mai, his voice hushed and urgent.
“C-can I ask a few clarifying questions?” Ken asked.
“Your questions are often unwelcome.”
“That's…not a no.”
“It is not.”
Ken fidgeted, and Kazutoshi didn’t know whether it was pride or dread making his chest constrict. Probably both.
“What do you mean by separated?”
“You cannot intentionally be within the same room.”
“Right,” Ken nodded. “And item ten, can I ask what it is?”
“You may.”
There was a pause as Ken waited expectedly. Kazutoshi groaned.
“It wants you to actually ask it,” he prompted. Ken flushed, and clasped his hands tighter together.
“O-oh! Um…What is item ten?”
“I am not at liberty to share that information with you.”
Anger pulsed through him. Ken was up there, trying his hardest to protect him, and the rabbit had the audacity to play with him like this? For what, a power trip?
“Are you fucking serious?” he yelled. It came out louder than he meant it to. His lungs took a second to catch up with him. He fell back into his chair, winded.
“I am.”
“Then…the first one.”
“You would give him it if you knew what it was?” Hiroaki said, scandalised.
“N-no!” Ken defended, holding his hands up to his chest. “I just - if it was something harmless then I could at least consider it but…”
Normally, Kazutoshi would tease him about it. The teasing would send Ken into a spiral of apologies and explanations that were far too long and full of information he already knew. It was normally entertaining.
But not here. It was too tense here.
“Of course you would,” Hiroaki shot back. “You’re such a fucking creep, that’d be right up your alley.”
Kazutoshi sat up properly, his mouth already open to form a defence, his heart beating rapidly in his chest -
Ken was hovering over him, a hand on his shoulders. His eyes raked over Kazutoshi. His face was scrunched a little. He was worried.
His voice was muffled though. Kazutoshi felt like everything was a little slow as he came back to himself.
“For your punishment, you may choose to remain isolated with Okazaki Hanano for three days or take off her mask and bandages in front of the class.”
“It's Nishino’s turn?” he said quietly. His words slurred together, but Ken kept his eyes focused on Kazutoshi’s mouth.
“Yes. You were only out for a few seconds.”
“Hiroaki, he-”
“I’m okay,” Ken said quickly. “Really, you don’t need to get involved in things like that. I…don’t really care much about his opinion anyway.”
“Pfft, who’s opinion do you care about then?”
“Yours.”
Kazutoshi’s chest felt lighter. Looser. Affection, with Ken, was always so easy. It was veiled by a thin, almost translucent veil of embarrassment. That veil only amplified the sincerity of his feelings. His care.
“I…Ken, you can’t just-”
“I’m not doing the second one,” Nishino said sharply.
Kazutoshi frowned.
“Again, I don’t get why we’re avoiding hurting her. It’s not like she’d ever give us the same grace," Hiroaki complained.
Nishino bared her teeth as she turned to face him, her jaw clenched.
“Except she did.”
“What, for you? You think your weird little homoerotic fling means that she won’t hurt you? She’s just trying to-”
Kazutoshi cringed. As much as he agreed, Hiroaki always phrased things in a way that made him impossible to agree with. He was the embodiment of whatever the reverse of charisma is. Maybe he’d ask Ken about it later -
Maybe he’d ask Ken about it in three days.
“You don’t know anything about what’s happened,” Nishino retorted, her voice slowing and thickening with anger. “You’re too busy hanging around with some guy who isn’t even here half the time, because no one else likes you!”
“Oh, and who likes you, Watari? Some weirdo freak who-”
“Stop!” Sasaki shouted. “Both of you. Stop it. Watari has made her choice, and there’s nothing either of you can do about it. It’s done now.”
Kazutoshi watched Hiroaki’s mouth open, turning his head towards Sasaki, but then he did something Kazutoshi hadn’t seen before. He halted the movement half-way through, and then closed his mouth.
“What the fuck?” he mumbled.
Did Sasaki’s ghost come back and actually haunt Hiroaki into behaving?
“Watari,” Ken said as she sat back down, leaning forward in his seat.
“I…not right now, Hasegawa.”
He and Ken exchanged a look. Three days with Okazaki. Hiroaki was an ass, but again, he was right. Okazaki had hurt her. She would again.
“Yanagi Shigeki. Please step forward.”
“For your punishment, you may choose to have images captured of you during your affair shared with the class, or you may choose to punch Sasaki Hitomi in the stomach three times.”
Unflappable Sasaki seemed to, for the first time since the game began, crack. Her hands were clasped on her desk. Her posture remained straight. But her shoulders had inched upwards, and now they were shaking.
Kazutoshi didn’t get it. It’s not like Yanagi was seriously going to hurt her - he’d probably rather kill himself than hurt any of the women here. He’d more than proven that during Isono’s trial.
Yanagi was super pale, his mouth hanging open as he stared at the rabbit.
“Shige. You aren’t doing the first one,” Mai said it like an order, her eyes sharp as they watched him for any protest.
“Well he’s sure as hell not choosing the second one,” Hiroaki butted in. Kazutoshi frowned, watching Hiroaki’s jaw clench and unclench.
“What the fuck? It’s not even that bad of a punishment,” Mai retorted.
“Oh, you would say that, wouldn’t you?”
“I was gentle,” she said, placing emphasis on the last word. “It’s not my fault that you’re such a baby.”
Hiroaki glanced at Sasaki, who remained silent.
Sasaki didn’t speak amongst the chaos. She didn’t utter a word as Mai and Hiroaki began to fight. She didn’t tell them to focus when Chiba got involved, telling Mai to be kinder.
She just sat there.
“She’s not taking it,” Hiroaki insisted, his hands balled into fists at his side. “End of story.”
“That’s not your decision to make.”
“It’s not yours, either.”
“...Hitomi?” Nishino whispered her name, leaning forward a little to hover over the girl's shoulder.
Sasaki suddenly seemed to come back to herself, turning quickly enough to gather everyone’s attention. Her face was kept carefully neutral.
“Yanagi,” she had her hands neatly clasped in her lap. “I can take it. It’s fine.”
“No…Sasaki I-”
“Those pictures were not taken with your consent, correct?”
He recoiled like he’d been struck.
“I - well-”
“Who cares?” Hiroaki interrupted. “He was cheating wasn’t he? It’s not like-”
“Hiroaki,” Sasaki admonished. “Stop. Yanagi, I do not want to see those pictures. I’d much rather take the first punishment. This does not make you the kind of man you claim to hate. I am volunteering.”
Hiroaki scowled.
“But you!-”
“Hiroaki,” she repeated. “I do not need your input right now.”
She said it all so smoothly, her breathing even, her words never rushed. And yet, Kazutoshi could feel something wrong. Something incoming.
“Shige, she’s volunteering.”
“I-but…I…I can’t.”
“You want everyone to see you like that?” Mai pressed.
“N-no, obviously not, but I can’t…my oath.”
“She wants you to do it, Yanagi,” Nishino said. “Sasaki wouldn’t say it if she didn’t mean it.”
“I…”
“Seriously, Yanagi,” Kazutoshi finally called out. “No one wants to see that shit. Just do it. She’s not weak or anything, she’ll be fine.”
“Yeah,” Chiba added. “Plus, you can just make the punches super light!”
“I…I can’t.”
“Yanagi Shigeki. Please select a punishment.”
“W-wait. Hang on,” Ken said, his words coming out quickly. “T-there’s something I want to ask.”
“What?” Mai snarled.
“The images, they will be shared with the class, right? We aren’t being made to look at them.”
Mai blinked, her face going blank for a second.
“Shit. You’re right.”
“Viewing is not compulsory,” Monomoko confirmed.
“T-then the first one,” Shigeki said quietly, leaning some of his weight on Mai. Kazutoshi grinned at Ken and gave him a firm nod.
“Nice catch,” he told him. Ken averted his eyes, but a small smile clambered up his face.
“Thanks,” he said softly.
–
Hitomi remained still. If she had just caught onto Monomoko’s phrasing like Hasegawa did, she wouldn’t have needed to volunteer herself. Her heart was still pounding in her chest. She felt nauseous. All for nothing.
Frustration made her jaw clench. Monomoko was wrapping things up, at least.
“Allow me to explain how some of the punishments will work.”
“Watari Nishino. You are to be isolated within your room for three days. You can interact only with Okazaki Hanano, who can come and go as she pleases. You will be excluded from games and announcements for the duration of this punishment.”
Nishino sank in her seat.
“I’m gonna be so bored,” she grumbled, pouting a little as she folded her arms across her chest.
“At least you won’t have to deal with the games,” Tamba said.
“Hmm…that’s true.”
“Hama Ran. You are to be restrained using item nine. You may not remove these restraints until your punishment has passed.”
“Three days, yeah, I get it, I get it.”
“Wada Masanari. You will be spending your time in the cage at the back of the auditorium. You may not leave.”
“Others can go in with him though, right?” Isono questioned.
“...Yes.”
Isono nodded, her eyes sliding over to Wada who seemed to be having trouble breathing again.
“In place of a game, tomorrow you will all be reading Okazaki Hanano and Kamimura Kazutoshi’s student profiles. Attendance is compulsory for all but Watari Nishino.”
When the silence extended, Hitomi stood. Marching over to Tsuno, she grabbed her hand firmly and faced the rest of the group.
“Before we disperse, we should organise.”
They looked at her expectantly. A tiny feeling of euphoria blossomed in her chest. This time, she was listened to. Respected. Acknowledged as a capable leader. Finally.
“Harada, Ojima, Tamba and Okazaki all need medical attention. You should all go to the med-bay as soon as possible.”
“Hayashi, Kamimura and Yanagi should all help out in the med-bay.”
“I could help, too,” Hama said sullenly.
“You will be restrained. But, if you think you can help, then feel free. Just don’t talk to Harada.”
“I’m not going to the med-bay yet,” Tamba protested, pushing out her lips a bit as she stared at Hama. He was looking at the table like it was going to bite him.
“Tamba, no. You need to have that looked at,” Hayashi said sternly.
“No. I’m staying.”
Chiba’s fingers hovered just above the handcuffs on the table. Slowly, she picked them up. They made a clinking sound.
Hama’s eye twitched.
“Chiba, give them to me,” Tamba said gently.
“Why?”
“Just trust me.”
Chiba held them delicately, as if she was scared of them making a sound again. Once she’d passed the cuffs off, she held her hand out silently. Hama took it and squeezed it.
“Remember, this...this is just for now,” Tamba assured him, reaching up to click them shut around his wrists. He remained still. Completely still. He didn’t say a word, but his hands started to tremble at the final click. He swallowed, and shakily took a breath.
“Come with us to the med-bay,” Mai offered, her gaze kind. “Tamba will complain the whole time if you don’t.”
“...Right,” he agreed, his expression unfocused. Harada seemed to be on the verge of imploding, staring at the door as he tensed all over.
“Everyone who should be in the med-bay, go to the med-bay,” Sasaki ordered.
They shambled out of the room. The whole group was a pretty sorry sight at this point.
“Watari…I think you shouldn’t push it by staying here,” Sasaki added gently.
Nishino frowned.
“I-I can walk you to your room,” Hasegawa offered. She perked up and grinned, teasing him about being a gentleman.
Right. That was handled.
She turned her gaze onto the back of the room. Isono was in the cage already, her arms open and inviting as Wada hesitated in the doorway.
Chiba was also staring at them. She and Hitomi made eye contact.
Silently, Hitomi jerked her head at the back of the room. Chiba nodded, and walked over to them.
Notes:
Item ten was Rohypnol.
Kan and Tatematsu continue to be the creepiest people known to man. This game was so brutal to write but its finally done!
Chapter 32: Reading Time
Summary:
The students deal with the aftermath of Penalty Game. In the morning, they gather for the Profile Reading.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Hitomi looked down at Tsuno, whose face was completely lax. She seemed to be almost asleep, and her posture was completely loose. If Hitomi released her grip on Tsuno’s hand, it would drop. She was barely here.
“This isn’t going to work,” she mumbled to herself. Hasegawa’s shoes clicked on the floor softly as he approached. Good, Watari was secured in her room then.
“Miki?” he called out, his eyes widening when they landed on the cage. “Why’re you also in there?”
Miki flashed him a wobbly smile and opened her mouth to explain.
“Wait, hang on,” Hitomi interrupted. “Hasegawa, can you help me lift Tsuno? You can come back here afterwards, I just need help and I want to pick your brain about something.”
She said it swiftly, and watched him carefully for signs of irritation. He wasn’t an intimidating person, but she knew that that didn’t mean anything. Not really.
“R-right, okay.”
Slowly, they hauled her up. She seemed dazed but smiled sweetly when she spotted Hasegawa. It was awkward, trying to shuffle into the hall. Luckily Hasegawa was stronger than he looked.
When the door closed behind them, Hitomi’s brow furrowed.
“I don’t have much knowledge around opioids or medication in general,” she admitted.
“O-oh.”
Silence settled over them. Hasegawa was bent over a little to accommodate Hitomi's height. She appreciated it.
“I’m asking what I should expect, and what I should be wary of,” she clarified, raising an eyebrow when he gave her a quizzical look. When she locked her eyes onto his he quickly turned away. The movement was jerky. Nervous.
“Right…well, that depends on whether she chooses to keep taking them or not. I expect the symptoms will last for one to two days and um…you can expect to see reduced anxiety, bouts of euphoria, pain relief obviously and um, she may seem very lethargic.”
He paused and adjusted Tsuno, who seemed to be dozing on his shoulder.
“Y-you should look out for signs of hypoxia. I-its what happens when there’s not enough-”
“Oxygen in the tissue, I’ve heard of it,” she said quickly.
“Yeah, um, do you know the symptoms?”
“I know you can get headaches and get confused but I don’t know anything else.”
“Other symptoms of hypoxia are,” he took a breath. “Restlessness, anxiety, rapid heartrate, rapid breathing and um, difficulty breathing.”
“Thank you, that’s very helpful Hasegawa.” Hitomi watched him run his eyes over Tsuno, frowning as his expression morphed into something she couldn’t identify. It somewhat resembled sympathy.
“I…feel bad for her,” he said softly, like it was a secret.
Hitomi nodded.
“It’s a cruel punishment. What withdrawal effects will she be looking at?”
“She’ll be pretty violently ill,” he said in that same quiet tone. “She may experience chills, cramping, a rapid heart rate and increased sweating among other things. She…she’ll struggle.”
Hitomi clenched her jaw and kept her eyes straight ahead. The unfairness of it struck a nerve in her.
They finally reached Hitomi’s door.
“Thankyou for your help, Hasegawa,” she told him. He kept his response polite and swift before scurrying away. She opened the door and dragged Tsuno in.
“I have tape here somewhere,” she mumbled to herself, digging around in one of her drawers. When she found it, she hooked her ankle around Tsuno’s and released her hand. “I’m gonna tape our forearms together, okay? Your right forearm and my left forearm. Then we have no chance of breaking the rule.”
“Mmkay,” Tsuno said slowly.
She didn’t react or rush to help like she usually did when she saw a task being completed. She just stayed there. Hitomi didn’t realise how much she had gotten used to Tsuno always moving about, always so eager to help.
–
Airi had watched Keizou and Ran leave for the med-bay with something heavy settling in her stomach. Seeing Ran so subdued made her nervous.
The cage at the back of the room looked huge with just Miki in it. Wada gripped the door like it was the only thing holding him up. It probably was.
“I’ll be in here with you, so it’s okay,” she assured him, hovering with her hand just above his head.
“I can bring you some stuff,” Airi told her. “You probably won’t want to sleep right on the bars.”
“Oh, I didn’t even think about that!”
“Trust me, it's super uncomfy,” she said airily. “I had a scene featuring a cage that took forever to shoot.”
“Really? I don’t remember seeing anything like that.”
Airi shrugged.
“It was some movie - not very popular, and I was only a background character.”
Miki held out her room card for Airi to take, just like that.
“Masa?” she nudged him, and he jerked.
“O-oh,” he fished his own key out of his pocket and handed it over, watching keenly as Airi placed them both in her pocket.
“I’ll be right back!”
–
When Ken returned to the auditorium, he couldn’t help but laugh. Airi had glued some drawings that were originally in Miki’s room onto the bars of the cage.
“Cosy,” he commented as he approached the bars.
Miki giggled.
“Right? Airi thought it’d help Masa feel less stressed.”
“Does it?”
Wada seemed to consider him carefully before responding.
“Kind of. It’s nice to see, at least.”
Ken hummed. His eyes roamed over the cage. It was firmly locked. Inside were two mattresses that had been pushed together, and a lot of blankets. Some of them looked suspiciously like Chiba’s.
“Honestly, I think the biggest obstacle in here will be boredom,” Miki said, settling onto her mattress.
“I can lend you a textbook, if you’d like.”
“A textbook?” Wada asked, his face scrunched up.
“Aren’t your textbooks like, super hard?”
“N-not really. Especially the ones about more niche topics. I can bring them to you?”
“Hmmm…okay!” Miki agreed, and brushed the hair out of her face.
Chiba had also set them up with a bowl of water and a lot of water bottles. She’d placed fabric on the inner corners of the cage. He imagined Miki would probably have to help tie them, seeing as Chiba was so small. If they wanted, they could pull the fabric across the middle and tie it there, like curtains.
A bucket sat ominously in the corner. When Miki caught him looking at it, she flushed.
“I-I’ll be back, then,” he said softly. It was kind of her to stay with Wada, but it did make him worry. Last time she made a sacrifice for Wada, it hadn’t gone well for her.
He swallowed. It was just a coincidence.
–
Ruiko was used to pushing her body past its limits. Exhaustion was a regular thing for her. Time itself was always cut up into neat chunks for her to digest. In all of those chunks, she was strained. Controlled. Chewing around an unpleasant texture.
Her leg? She couldn’t ignore that.
“It’s over,” she whispered. The med-bay lights were too bright. People were talking, but then went silent.
For as long as she could remember, she had woken up with gold on her mind. That imaginary medal lodged itself in her stomach when it felt hollow and empty. It pushed her down into her first splits.
It tasted like frosty morning air, biting at her cheeks as she walked to practice. It felt like dew on the grass, blinking up at her, barely awake as she stumbled to classes after practice. It sounded like her mother’s car horn, impatiently calling for Ruiko to hurry up.
It was her whole life. And it was over.
“Rui?” Kazutoshi said it urgently, like it wasn’t his first time calling her name.
“Huh?”
“Rui, what does that mean?” she blinked at him, but otherwise didn’t react. The world felt slower. Farther away, somehow. “You said ‘it’s over’, what does that mean?”
She huffed.
“My career. It’s…it’s over.”
“It’s just a broken leg, Rui.”
“You don’t get it,” she closed her eyes. “The competition…I don’t stand a chance.”
“Yanagi, what the fuck is she talking about?”
The hammer had clattered to the floor. Miki had been horrified, her mouth hanging open in shock.
But the alternative was too much to bear. The first time around, she didn't deserve to make it. No matter what Kazutoshi said, it was true. The feeling made her feel slimy, disgusting and low. Like she should have dissolved into the floor already. Or been neatly wiped away.
Her words, her actions, they never seemed to matter much before. She could say whatever she needed to, lash out as much as she wanted, because not a single person would budge. Her days continued in those pre-determined chunks no matter what she did.
But in here? They matter so much. It’s enough to make her miss being controlled.
–
Nakamigawa wanted to scream. Manami was completely out of it, he had blood on his sleeve, and if he thought about his other punishment option for more than five seconds he would break out into a cold sweat.
He hated sweating.
Takeshi had bandages wrapped tightly around his arm, and was sitting listlessly on his bed again. He was all sprawled out, his face completely lax.
He outlined a drawing of Tamba and grimaced. He still remembered the immediate shock, the guilt swelling in his throat as she wailed last time around, her eyes wild and unfocused.
He flipped over to another page.
Hitomi. No.
Mai felt too fresh, too. Not her, either.
Takeshi stirred, and looked down at his torso. He nearly always did that when he came back. Like he was checking for something.
“Takeshi,” he said softly. “You’re back.”
“Yeah,” his voice was clipped as he sat up properly. He seemed too stiff now, his face panicked as he looked at Nakamigawa, and then back at himself.
“I didn’t - I cut you,” he said before Takeshi could ask.
“...You didn’t un-”
“No.”
His breath stuttered as he exhaled and then leaned back onto the headboard.
“It was real, then,” he said, his eyes darting all over Nakamigawa’s face.
“...Yeah. It was real.”
“You don’t think…I mean, why would they want to…why would they want to see that?”
“Hm?”
“Whoever sets up the game, whoever sets up,” he gestured at the room. “All this! I don’t understand why…”
Nakamigawa’s throat constricted. Thoughts kept flashing across his mind. If Monomoko’s colleagues wanted it to happen, could he really protect Takeshi?
Takeshi couldn’t protect himself. He’d be gone the entire time, unable to push back or yell as they hurt him.
He shuddered. His helplessness here was killing him.
“Don’t think about it,” he said firmly. “I mean it, Takeshi. Don’t.”
“I just - I can’t do this again,” Takeshi confessed, his breath thinning. Nakamigawa could recognise an oncoming panic attack when he saw one.
“You - you don’t have to,” he said gently. “Not right now.”
That was all the protection he could offer without lying. And Takeshi hated lying.
–
Ken rushed into the laundry room with a notebook in his hands and a flushed, smiling face.
Keizou opened his eyes. His stomach was growling. He had so little energy. Everyone here was so hyperactive.
“I-I’ve figured something out!” Ken blabbed, settling down next to Keizou. “We can still write to them, and they can write to us.”
Keizou shot up.
“Wait. You mean Airi and Ran?”
Ken nodded excitedly.
“Oh, oh! You’re right, you’re right!” Keizou grinned, reaching out for the paper Ken offered him. He slid a pen out of his pocket and handed it over. “It’ll actually be kind of nice, like writing letters to each other!”
“Y-yeah,” Ken agreed, suddenly bashful again as he stared down at his page. “We can deliver each other's letters. Let’s just agree not to look.”
He bumped his shoulder against Kens.
“Sure.”
–
Miki rolled onto her stomach and winced. Airi wasn’t kidding, these bars were making her feel super stiff.
Masa had cried a lot last night. She’d drift off to sleep, and wake up to him sobbing, heaving a little as he curled up tighter.
At some point, he’d been so out of it that he’d begged her to let him out. The words swirled around in her mind. They devastated her.
Keenly, she was reminded that he was so hurt. So outrageously hurt.
Luckily, he was still asleep, and probably would be for a while.
Lifting the fabric to peek out of it, she spotted the desks in place like they were yesterday. On each desk were three pieces of paper.
She wasn’t looking forward to this at all.
Letting the fabric fall back down, she glanced over at Masa. He was snoring lightly, her hoodie yanked up over his head. It was way too big for him, the sleeves covering his hands completely. She smiled.
When the door opened with a quiet creak, she lifted the fabric again. Yanagi had entered the room looking vaguely nauseous. Hayashi followed him, turning to immediately give Miki a firm nod. Miki returned it.
“Let’s make this quick,” Hayashi said quietly. Slowly, they upturned the piles on each desk and pulled out the bottom one. It was an image that looked vaguely visible through the back of the paper, so Miki dropped the fabric. She didn’t want to see that.
When Sasaki had pointed out that the pictures were non-consensual, her stomach dropped. For far too long, she’d received message after message from men who had wanted those kinds of pictures from her. Some of them would even tell her that they’d share them for a price. Like she was a porn star rather than a streamer.
The assumption that she must be a sex worker, with no discernible reason why, made her feel nauseous. She wasn’t interested in sex. Ever.
And yet it was still continually, horrifically, pushed in her face. Their desires. Their fantasies. The porn categories she fulfilled.
Once, someone had sent her an AI generated nude of herself.
The thing was completely inaccurate, but still. It had greatly disturbed her. She sighed, shoving her face into her hands.
The world was terrifying. And even here, she had volunteered to be locked in a cage.
She didn’t miss the irony.
–
Mai settled into a seat and resolutely ignored the documents laying out on her desk. She didn’t have to acknowledge them yet, so she wouldn’t. Tamba had wheeled herself in, and caught Kazutoshi’s bemused look with a grin.
“We’re matching!”
“What a treat,” he snarked. She laughed and wheeled over to stay next to him. She seemed chipper this morning, at least. According to ‘Toshi, she’d been super depressed the day before. Mai had been too busy monitoring Okazaki while her hand was getting treated, but when she returned, Tamba was out of it again.
‘Toshi, on the other hand, seemed tense. Hasegawa sat at the back of the room, raking his hands over his face. Isono seemed to be talking to him in an effort to distract him. She marched over to the cage and examined Wada.
“You good?” she asked briskly.
“Y-yeah…”
“Cool. Do they expect you to do the reading in there?”
“Well, it’s not like we can’t,” Miki chimed in. “We just need someone to get the paper for us.”
Mai nodded and grabbed the nearest two, folding them a little so they could slide through the bars.
“T-thanks,” Wada said. Miki placed them face down on the mattress, and then turned back to Hasegawa. Wada looked down briefly, and then did the same.
Mai returned to the front where he found Tamba chatting with Shige about something.
The files glared up at her. She didn’t want to know. It was too invasive. Too personal. Okazaki walked in without a preamble, without any sign of nerves. Neatly, she took her seat. In front of Hasegawa.
Mai mentally cursed them both out. Seriously, how many times was she going to have to break up a fight here?
“Thankyou for gathering so quickly,” the rabbit said. She hadn’t even noticed it appearing. She settled slowly back into her seat. Tamba kept glancing quickly at ‘Toshi as if he was going to disappear. He probably wanted to.
Mai tried to tune the thing out. Without Watari here, the atmosphere was different. Heavier, somehow. Shigeki gave her a hopeful smile, but it seemed too tense to be real.
There was a reason no one had read Hiroaki’s last time around. They all knew how it felt to have that privacy, that autonomy, invaded.
No one wanted that.
“You must turn over the papers on your desk and read them fully. A quiz will be given out afterwards. Those who do not get all the questions right will be punished.”
Toshi looked like he was about to throw up.
“Alright,” Mai said to herself. “Hey,” she called out. “If you bring up anything you read here to either of them, I will personally make you regret it.”
“Great news everyone! Musclehead has muscles,” Hiroaki said loudly.
“What crawled up your ass and died this morning?”
He groaned and raked his hands over his face. He deflated.
“No sleep.”
Now that she was really looking, he didn’t seem to be the only one. Sasaki looked rough, her eyes half shut even with Ojima’s coffee steaming up her face. Manami sat at her side, their arms taped together. She had her eyes squeezed shut and had her jaw clenched. She stared down at the desk like it was going to kill her.
“No kidding,” she mumbled.
“You may now start your reading time. You will have fifteen minutes total.”
“This is so fucking dumb,” Kamimura muttered. Mai held her breath and turned over the paper. It was typed out, double spaced with arial font. She gritted her teeth. It was frustratingly normal, with absolutely nothing to give their captors away.
She didn’t know what she was hoping for.
“We’re allowed to speak during this, right?” Chiba asked hesitantly.
“Yes.”
“Okay…um, I don’t…what do you think the questions-”
“It’ll be the most brutal parts,” Ojima said curtly. “It’s meant to suck.”
Mai turned back to her page. She only had so long.
She would start with Kamimura. Get the hard one out of the way. At least with Okazaki she didn’t care all that much about her.
He has always been sick. She hummed. That tracks.
Parents murdered by a close family friend. He came home, and stayed in his room for two days. She swallowed.
It was such a painfully childish response. Pitiful, almost, in its subconscious hope that if he waited long enough, things would return to normal. She recognised it in herself. In that shitty house, she had spent hours at a time pretending she was somewhere else.
Like Ojima.
Two days. She kept it in her mind. He was put with his aunt. She didn’t want a kid. She hesitated, but didn’t file it away.
“‘Toshi,” Tamba whined, her voice thin with sympathy. It seemed involuntary. She clapped her hands over her mouth. “Sorry….I just….”
“Shut up,” he muttered. His voice was hoarse again, and he was hunched over his desk like he was about to collapse. She glanced back at Okazaki who was holding the paper close to her face. Behind her, Hasegawa’s hands were shaking violently. He was crying.
He was gay. Came out to some guy who rejected and outed him. She mentally noted it. The files weren’t that big, and didn’t delve into as much detail as she feared. Just broad strokes. Though, she imagined even that would be too much for such private people.
She sighed and picked up Okazaki’s.
“There’ll be two questions per profile,” Sasaki said suddenly. Mai gave her a sidelong glance. “I’ve read them both already, I’m confident of that. Takeshi is right, it’s the most brutal parts.”
Mai turned her attention back to the words laid out in front of her. Okazaki Hanano. Formally known as Yonekura Yume. Subject to human experimentation -
Mai’s brain stalled.
She stilled. Now wasn’t the time to think.
Subject to human experimentation. Watched former subjects perish.
Mai frowned. There was then a big jump in years. As if from the ages of 10-13, she was untraceable.
Thirteen, homeless. The information became scant. A few altercations, partners and friends that she stayed in contact with. A lot of minor and major crimes.
And yet, it was the most personal thing she had ever and probably would ever know about Okazaki. She wondered if this was all old news to Watari.
Probably not.
“You’re confident about the questions, Sasaki?” Okazaki asked pleasantly.
“Yes,” she responded, her expression held carefully neutral. Still, Mai could spot a layer of satisfaction in there from figuring out such a puzzle.
“Can you tell us what the questions will be, then?”
Sasaki’s expression softened, just a tad. Mai could understand why. If they knew the questions, no one would have to scrutinise Okazaki’s past too much. It made sense. And she had chosen to place her trust in Sasaki.
“I can,” she glanced quickly at ‘Toshi, but when she found no protest, she continued. “For Kamimura, it will be the two day thing and the name of the friend who outed him. For Okazaki, it will be the name of the first doctor she saw die and this last one is just a guess but…your legal name.”
“It is not my name,” she said calmly.
“Your old name, then?” Sasaki offered.
‘Toshi had shrunk in on himself, his whole body tensed. Mai kept her eyes firmly off him. He didn’t need the scrutiny right now.
“I don’t think it’s fair to probe for more information from me and not Kamimura,” Okazaki replied.
“I wasn’t trying to!-”
“You were.” She leaned her head on her hand. “You really should go for Kamimura, though. He’s much more interesting.”
“Fuck off,” he croaked, his knuckles going white from how tightly he was clutching the edges of his desk.
“Okazaki,” Hasegawa warned.
“I mean, isn’t it a bit ironic that he’s a crime scene cleaner now?” she said, placing emphasis on the last word. “I mean, considering his initial instincts-”
Mai got up the second she heard Hasegawa’s breath hitch.
“You-!” the brunette yelled as he lunged at her. She caught his right arm and used it to haul him back. He tripped as he fell onto her.
Sasaki stood.
“Guys, she’s just trying to distract us so we’ll get - hey!” Sasaki yelped, and Mai heard footsteps click on the floor.
Hasegawa struggled in her grip and Okazaki laughed. He kept lunging forward, jostling against her chest as she yanked him back, his breath catching as he made contact with her.
“What? It’s true, isn’t it? What did he expect to happen, just sitting there with them? With corpses, two days is a long enough time to - argh!”
Hasegawa stilled. Mai finally looked up. Sasaki was doing a truly horrible job of holding Manami back, and Manami had swung with her free arm. Okazaki hit the floor, and Manami followed, straddling her as she pulled back her arm for another punch. Sasaki tried desperately to tug her back up, but Manami didn’t budge for even a second.
“Do you ever,” she yelled as skin met skin. The impact was loud as Okazaki cried out. “Shut the fuck up?”
“M-Manami!” Wada called from the cage.
Okazaki’s mask had been knocked off her face. She was grinning.
“Manami! Manami, stop!” Isono shouted. Mai grimaced. Of course the only two people who could quickly ground her were locked in a fucking cage. Of course.
Okazaki cackled. Her nose was bleeding.
“Oh Manami,” she said airily. “You’re so beautiful when you’re angry.”
Manami’s breath hitched, her face going lax for a second. Then, her eyebrows furrowed.
“You better leave me the fuck alone, Okazaki. I mean it.”
“Or what? You’ll hit me again?” her grin widened.
“I’ll make you regret it,” Manami replied through gritted teeth. “I’ll hurt you, Okazaki. I’ll really hurt you.”
Okazaki preened, like she’d just been given a compliment.
“Tsuno,” Mai interrupted, offering a hand to help her up. “Stop it. It’s what she wants. You know that.”
“But!-”
“Tsuno,” Hiroaki said, his tone reproachful. It was odd to hear him doing the reproaching. “You told me to keep an eye on you. You wouldn’t want to be doing this - trust me.”
Mai watched in real time as Manami bit back something that was probably scathing. Silently, she got up.
“Your reading time has ended. Please complete the quiz.”
–
It was exactly as Sasaki had predicted. Ruiko wished she was that smart. She filled out the boxes and tried not to think about it.
Okazaki…it was strange to think of her as suffering too. During her execution, Ruiko had recoiled, determined not to watch. Her strangled streaming had been enough. When they stopped, when the molten gold had stuffed her throat shut, Ruiko had felt sick.
It was all way, way too much.
She remained in her seat when everyone got up to leave. ‘Toshi had been giving her worried looks all day. Hasegawa pulled Chiba aside for something. They left together.
Harada hurried out of the room silently. Sasaki practically dragged Tsuno out of the room, quickly followed by Nakamigawa and Takeshi. Shigeki and Mai were talking about something, their voices hushed and tense.
They left too.
Eventually, it was just her, Hama and ‘Toshi left.
Hama sniffled behind them. Ruiko immediately wheeled herself over.
Tears rolled down his cheeks, his jaw trembling as he remained still. His pen had fallen to the floor, completely out of reach for him. The handcuffs were snug on his wrists, and were already leaving behind pink indents.
“Hama?” she kept her voice gentle.
He was silent when his eyes met hers. She thought of last time, how she had circled her arms back and forth, instructing him to do the same. It wouldn’t work here.
She raised her hand to scratch at her head, fumbling for an idea of what to do. He shrunk away from her, as if he expected violence.
She swallowed down the bitter taste of outrage. It wasn’t fair. Nothing about this was fair. Slowly, she lowered her arm. He watched the movement carefully.
She felt eyes on the back of her head. Kazutoshi.
He probably thought he was back there, somehow. That she was a guard.
“Hama,” she repeated. “You can talk, okay? You can talk.”
“I-” he croaked. He coughed lightly, and his eyes darted to her hand. “I know that,” he finished lamely.
She frowned.
“Can I hold your hands?” she asked quietly. Slowly, he nodded, keeping his eyes on her slowly approaching hands the entire time. Her palms met his. They were clammy and rough, the skin cracked despite the distinct smell of the storage room's coconut moisturiser.
In all fairness, her own weren’t much better. She had been drenched in sweat the day before, clutching her leg and mourning her future, and she hadn’t exactly managed a shower since then.
“Masa?” she heard Miki ask. He tapped his throat twice, and she still seemed confused.
“He can’t talk,” Ruiko said simply.
“Oh.”
“Toshi?” Ruiko called, turning her head to face him. He was already staring at her, but quickly looked down when she returned the stare. “You…wanna come over here?”
“Why would I?”
“Kazutoshi,” Miki reprimanded, her voice petulant. He rolled his eyes.
“Fine, fine, if it’ll get you to stop whining about it,” he huffed. He slowly wheeled himself over his eyes flicking to Hama every now and then as he approached. “I’m…are you good?”
Hama opened his mouth, and then closed it.
“I’m fine,” he said airily. “It’s not like this shit actually affects me.”
“Pftt, sure, man. Whatever suits you.”
“Are you okay though?” Ruiko asked, her eyes running over 'Toshi. “It’s…we don’t have to talk about it, I just-”
“I’m fine,” he seethed, glaring at her.
“Don’t bite her head off man, she’s just worried about you,” Hama said sternly.
“Well she shouldn’t be. I’m. Fine.”
“Um…I hate to interrupt but…could you guys leave soon? I need to pee,” Miki said sheepishly.
Ruiko grimaced.
“Where are you even gonna go?”
“Um…we have a bucket.”
“Gross.”
“I-I know that!” Miki replied, her face flushing red. She really was pretty, Ruiko thought. She chased the thought away. Now was definitely not the time. “There’s not really much I can do about it, though.”
“Who’s gonna empty it?” Kazutoshi asked.
Miki’s face fell.
“I, um…I don’t know.”
“I’ll do it,” he volunteered. “I’ll be discreet.”
She softened, a small smile inching up her face.
“Thanks, ‘Toshi.”
“Not-” he sighed and cut himself off. Ruiko grinned. It seemed he was especially weak to Isono’s particular brand of vulnerability. It was cute, in a way. Even if it was blatant favouritism.
“Wanna go hang out in my room for a bit?” she asked.
“Not your room,” Kazutoshi scowled. “I’ll take literally anyone else's room.”
“Hasegawa’s?”
“Ew. No. Anyone else but you or Hasegawa.”
“My room’s free,” Hama said lightly, holding the auditorium door open for them both so they could wheel through. “I need help unlocking it anyway.”
“At least you’re actually locking it now,” Kazutoshi snarked. Ruiko glanced back at the desks one last time. Everyone had gotten the questions right. The papers lay haphazardly on all but two desks, one incomplete where Watari usually sat. It almost resembled an exam setup.
Ruiko never thought she would miss school. Not ever.
–
Nakamigawa raced over to Hitomi’s room and caught her door right before it closed.
“I need to talk to Tsuno,” he said quickly. Hitomi frowned and looked at Manami, who was hidden by the half closed door. After a second, she let it open.
Manami looked wrecked. She was coming down hard. He could see where her costume was sticking to her back with sweat. How she moved stiffly, the pain clearly coming back to her in sickening waves.
Worst of all, she looked at him like he was a threat.
He opened his mouth, and then closed it.
Hitomi looked between the two of them before sighing. She gently tugged Manami over to her desk and opened up a drawer. In it were earplugs.
“I’m going to put these in,” she told them both. “I won’t be able to hear you. I’ll close my eyes. Tap my shoulder when you’re done.”
Before either of them could thank her, she popped them in her ears and closed her eyes, leaning back on the bed. Manami sat next to her, her leg bouncing non stop.
Nakamigawa took the desk chair.
“You…probably feel like shit right now,” he began.
“Obviously,” she shot back, her tone irritated and scratchy. Her hair was up in a bun, probably due to Hitomi. It was a good thing too. It looked greasy as hell. “Did you come here just to tell me that?”
“I…listen, I’m just,” he groaned and rubbed his eyes, his glasses lifting just a bit as he did so. This was so dumb. “I’m….worried,” he paused. “About you.”
She remained silent, her jaw clenched. She seemed tense all over, her free hand resting just above her stomach. Cramps. Right.
“You haven’t gone for Okazaki-”
“No.” The response was swift and final. “I’m not talking about her right now. I’m not.”
“What about Wada and Isono? You haven’t even checked on them. It’s not like you, Manami.”
“And what the fuck would you know about me?” she snapped, her eyes watering. “I’m serious, Hiroaki. Back off.”
“I literally just want to help you!”
“There’s a reason no one comes to you for help, Nakamigawa!” she yelled. She froze for a second, and then let out a choked whine, straightening up completely. Her back. The brand.
He grimaced. People did come to him for help. They might regret it, but they do. The mantra circled around in his mind. She was just lashing out. He bit his tongue.
He tapped Hitomi’s shoulder and left without looking back.
Notes:
Everyone say good job Hiroaki for not lashing out!
I've been thinking about Tamba and Isono a LOT recently, if you couldn't tell.
Chapter 33: Letters
Summary:
Some students write letters to each other.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Kazutoshi,
I hope you’re okay after this morning. It makes me so mad that you had everything aired out like that. It’s not fair. I kind of wish you’d taken the other punishment instead. Sorry, I know you probably don’t want to talk about it. I just can’t stop thinking about how unfair it is.
Something else…I’m delivering Harada’s letters to Chiba and Hama. If Chiba makes me check on his back one more time I’m gonna lose it. She’s obsessive about it. I won’t even have a letter and she’ll come find me and demand I check it for her. But, I mean, Harada is surprisingly clean. I doubt it’ll get infected. Telling her that is pointless though.
Miki told me earlier that maybe she should be locked in a cage whenever an exam comes up. Apparently, she’s studying. I did lend her some textbooks. Did you know she’s missed basically an entire year of school? I don’t know how her Mum let that happen. I’d offer to tutor her, but I’m worried about messing it up.
I miss you Kazutoshi. I made some tea for you earlier when I was making my coffee, and then realised I couldn’t actually give it to you.
Now that I’m not allowed near you, Chiba is determined to hang out with me. I keep telling her that I’m pretty boring so she won’t enjoy it, but she keeps trying anyway. To be honest, it makes me a little anxious.
Sorry, I can’t stop thinking about it. I know it might be messed up to say, because she’ll hate herself for it later, but Tsuno punching Okazaki might be the single most cathartic experience of my life.
You probably really don’t want to talk about it. But I need to know if you’re okay. I’ve put two checkboxes below with yes or no on them. Could you tick one of them, just so I know? Sorry, I just can’t stop worrying about it.
Ken
—
Ken,
Seriously, chill out. I ticked your box thing. I’m fine. I also added another one, because you’re a giant fucking nerd.
I’m with Rui right now anyway, so I physically can’t feel anything but irritation. We’re hanging out with Hama. It’s kind of nice. He’s been telling me a lot about folklore. Rui wants to know about cats, so he’s been going on about them for about half an hour now.
Europeans are nuts about cats. They love them one second, and then kill them all the next. It’s weird. Like that bird you were on about.
Chiba’s harassing me, too. I don’t know how she has the time for it, to be honest. According to her, you look ‘lonely’ without me. Worse than that though, guess who else came to hang out? Fucking Hiroaki.
He painted my nails with this cool shiny thing though. It’s black, but it looks kind of like a marble, I guess? He used a magnet for it. I don’t get it, but it looks sick as hell.
Yeah Miki’s having a rough time in the cage. I think the toilet situation is stressing her out. I empty it for them, but still I think she’s super embarrassed about it. I get it, I guess.
Rui’s interesting, sometimes. She seemed almost wise the other day. Hama was freaking out and she calmed him down super easily. I didn’t think they were close at all, to be honest.
Chiba’s come to join the cat thing. Hama’s been showing us these medieval cat drawings. They’re pretty freaky looking.
Chiba’s having us all draw one. Freakiest wins, I guess. You can have the drawing.
Hama’s won. His is based on this cat that pissed all over this monk's manuscript and ruined it. The monk went on this tirade about his cat in later pages, completely unrelated to the manuscript he was originally writing.
Remember to give Miki her meds.
Kazutoshi
–
Kazutoshi,
I remembered, I remembered! I’m not that bad with time.
Hama won an art competition with his hands literally tied? That’s pretty funny.
I don’t know much about European history, so it’s pretty interesting to hear about. I had no idea that cats were so important to them. I know they were important to Ancient Egyptian society, but that’s about it. If your cat died you had to shave your eyebrows, back then. They had their own sacred burial site, too, if I remember correctly.
Chiba told me the same thing about you. Maybe she’s lonely?
I’m really worried about Watari. I see Okazaki coming and going, but she’s in Watari’s room a lot. I’ve been wondering if we could implement this letter system with her, too. I guess it depends on what Monomoko deems as ‘isolation’.
I like the lemon shark drawing you did in the corner, it’s very cute. The cat you did is weirdly cute as well, in a dead-eyed kind of way. Miki loves it. She wants to make it this emoji thing on her stream? I don’t really get it, even after she and Wada explained it. Online stuff is kind of a mystery to me. I’m lucky it doesn’t come up that often in quiz shows.
Thank you for ticking the box. I won’t bug you about it. I just care about you, Kazutoshi. I hope you know that.
Did you know Keizou can replicate any bird sound? Specific calls and everything? Well, except shoebills, but that would be kind of hard considering they make machine gun-like noises. But nearly every bird! It’s so cool! I worry that I kept him for way too long, though. Yanagi came looking for him for some reason. Do you know why?
I asked Monomoko about the letter idea. It said we’re not allowed. It’s frustrating that I can’t do anything to help. I really worry about her.
Ken
–
Ken,
Seriously, we can’t even send a note? That’s so fucking stupid. I’d be going insane if I was stuck in a room with Okazaki of all people.
Also, you are that bad, don’t pretend she didn’t get her dose later in the day than usual.
Ha, ha, very funny. Seriously though, he’s good at drawing. I’m surprised Ojima hasn’t nabbed him for a drawing session yet.
Like fuck am I shaving my eyebrows off for a cat.
I doubt Chiba is ever lonely. Seriously, she’s always hanging out with someone. I guess she does willingly hang out with Hiroaki though, so y’know what, maybe you’re right.
It’s an emote, not an emoji. Think of it like a customised emoji/gif thing. Hey, maybe you could tutor her in school stuff and she could tutor you in online stuff.
Tell me you didn’t corner him and make him go through every single species in that book you have. Tell me you didn’t. Also what the fuck do you mean it makes a machine-gun noise?
I don’t know why Yanagi does anything, don’t ask me.
I’m really tired right now. I’m gonna go to sleep. Also, Miki said that you keep worrying about me. Stop that. I’m fine.
Kazutoshi
–
Kazutoshi,
You won’t believe it. Yanagi called Keizou over because Chiba asked for his back to be checked. AGAIN. Keizou looks like he’s about to lose it.
If you did shave your eyebrows off, at least your bangs would cover it. It’s not like you’d have to worry about people seeing it. Also, you willingly hung out with Hiroaki.
Okay, a customised emoji. I think I can pretty confidently say that online stuff probably won’t come up on any shows I’ll be in.
It might have been longer than half an hour. I feel really bad. I just got so excited. Do you think I should apologise to him?? Oh yeah, they clatter their beaks and the noise sounds like a machine gun going off. They’re pretty skittish around humans though, so they’re harmless.
The babies actually make sounds that resemble a human hiccup.
Have a good sleep. I’ll try, it’s not like I try to worry about you! I just care about you. A lot. Sorry if that’s weird.
Ken
–
Airi,
MY BACK IS FINE. IT IS HEALING. PLEASE STOP MAKING ME LIFT MY SHIRT UP FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Keizou
–
Keizou,
I’m sorry! I just want to know that you’re okay. I’m so sorry about slashing your back, I can’t stop thinking about it, it was horrible. Ran has to keep calming me down. I feel bad about that, too. I wish you were here.
We had a competition before to draw the freakiest medieval cat. Wanna see mine? Ran’s already attached his to the letter. His won, by the way. ‘Toshi’s looked so cute, I think Hasegawa will have it, so you should take a look. I’m glad you guys are hanging out. Hasegawa always looks so lonely without ‘Toshi there.
Could Hasegawa check your back just one more time? Please?
Airi
–
Keizou,
Is your back actually doing okay or are you just saying it is to comfort Airi? Yes, she made me write this. I heard Hasegawa cornered you and made you do bird sounds for an hour. I want to feel bad for you, but that shits hilarious.
I thought you specialised in big cats? Where’d the bird thing come from? Yukino?
Also there’s tea brewing in the kitchen if you want some.
Ran
–
Airi,
STOP GETTING PEOPLE TO CHECK MY BACK. Seriously, Ken looks like he’s about to explode. Listen, I meant what I said. I’m glad I took the slash. Please don’t feel bad about it. It is genuinely healing fine, and no I’m not just saying that to comfort you.
That sounds like a lot of fun. Ken is fun too, but I miss you guys. I see why Ran’s won. Is it peeing? Why? Also why does it have snail features on it? Ken showed me Kamimura’s, it’s easily the cutest one. I like its eyes. It reminds me of Sawa, somehow. Sorry if you don’t want me talking about her. I just miss her.
I just heard a massive bang down the hallway. Was that you?
Keizou
–
Ran,
Please tell Airi THAT I’M TELLING THE TRUTH. Dude my throat hurts so much. I think he feels bad though, he appeared ominously in my doorway and started bowing non stop. It was kind of endearing?
Yeah when we were a bit younger me and Yukino used to have this membership with this bird charity. We didn’t have much money then so we split it between us. It meant we got access to a bunch of bird-watching sites, so we went to them all the time. We’re pretty lucky that so many of them are local.
Thanks for the tea, it’s really nice.
Keizou
–
Keizou,
I can’t stop feeling sorry. You’re my friend. I never want to hurt you, not ever. I’ll stop asking though. At least until tomorrow. You’d have to ask Ran, I wasn’t really there when he was talking about them. I just saw the pictures and thought it’d be fun.
I like when you talk about Sawa. She was precious to you. Like when you talk about Yukino. I like to hear it. I promise.
No, not me or Ran for once. Maybe Mai? She and Manami sometimes spar.
Airi
–
Ken,
If there’s a God, he fucking hates Miki. Dude, she’s in the cage AND just started her period what the fuck. Could she borrow your jacket? She’s bled through some of her clothes and feels super shitty about it. I don’t blame her.
I hate this place. She looks so sad. She keeps giving me those sad eyes and I can’t do shit to help her. I gave her pads and new clothes and shit but she’s just like, super upset. At least she has Wada, I guess. He’s not being weird about it.
I don’t really know what else to do. You live with women, right? What helps with this shit? Other than not being in an actual cage.
I’m so frustrated. I hate it here.
Kazutoshi
–
Kazutoshi,
I’ve given her my jacket and some extra blankets. I’ve done what Tamba did last time and heated up some pans and stuff and wrapped them up in blankets. It was actually pretty smart of her.
Unfortunately, an empty stomach tends to make things worse. Warmth typically helps with cramps, so hot drinks could be a good idea. Painkillers that she can have without food are useful. It’s frustrating, but I don’t think she’ll be comfortable no matter what we do.
Mao typically gets super into her work to try and distract herself, which works for her. My Mum has them pretty bad though, so she tends to nap a lot. I saw that she and Wada like to cuddle anyway, so hopefully that’ll bring her some level of comfort.
I understand. I’m also frustrated. It’s not fair. None of this is.
I want to be home so badly.
Ken
Notes:
Just a lil clarification here: You do not have to be a woman to have a period, I'm trying to keep it within Kamimura's knowledge as I don't think he has many people in his life who have a menstrual cycle but by no means do I believe that only women have periods.
Also I just think its SO funny for Harada to keep having random people coming to see him and asking him to lift his shirt like give this man a BREAK
Kamimura drew another box in between Kens 'yes' or 'no' boxes and wrote 'Hasegawa Ken is a giant fucking nerd'. He ticked that and the 'yes' box.
Chapter 34: The Last Supper
Summary:
Watari's internal conflict worsens. The Motive Reprieve begins.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
In Nishino’s school, isolation was one of the punishments used. They’d put her in a tiny room with a chair, a desk, and not much else. She’d have her schoolwork assigned to her, her lunch given to her by a teacher, and was physically guided to the bathroom next door.
Usually, she’d have to knock on the door from the inside to be let out so she could go pee.
It was always a slog to get through. A whole six hours with nothing to do but schoolwork. Sometimes, she could enjoy it. Everyone got a thrill when they finally worked out some problem, or when they had something interesting to read for her literature class.
Other times, exhaustion blackened the corners of her vision, and she woke up to a teacher yelling at her.
Here, she supposed she at least had all of her belongings. Not that it was much. And Hanano was here. It wasn’t exactly complete isolation.
On the first night, Hanano was kind. Sympathetic, even, as she brought Nishino some art supplies to paint with. Nishino supposed it was some kind of peace offering. Hanano would be nice, and Nishino wouldn’t bring up any of the weird shit she had done.
Nishino dragged the blanket closer to her face. Hanano stopped by, opening the door just slightly. Nishino nodded at her, and the door closed again.
It locked.
Hanano had the key, seeing as she was the only one allowed to leave anyway.
Nishino stood, her muscles stiff with tension. Her back only stung every now and then, twinging with her movements. She swallowed some painkillers and rolled out a yoga mat she had taken from the storage room.
Today was the reading. That’s where Hanano had gone.
The rhythm of stretching made her feel steadier, unable to think about what was happening to the rest of the group. She counted to eight, and adjusted her leg so she wouldn’t strain it. Next position. Downward dog, one leg up. Hold it. One, two…
The door clicked open as she brought the leg up to her chest.
She held it. One, two, three -
“You should really look up when someone comes into your room.”
Nishino held the position.
“You’re the only one with the key,” she replied, her voice tight.
“Someone could’ve stolen it.”
“You wouldn’t let them.”
She said it with a finality as she finally placed the leg held up to her chest firmly on the floor. She stretched her arms above her head and leaned backwards. She was flexible enough to see Hanano behind her. Without her mask.
Bruised. Bleeding.
“H-Hanano!” She cried, straightening up. “What happened to you?”
“Manami punched me.”
“Ma-Manami? Why would she - Hanano, what did you say to her?”
“I said nothing to her.”
“Then what did you say to someone?”
Hanano’s face went blank for a second before she smiled sweetly.
“Nothing that wasn’t true.”
She waltzed over to Nishino’s bed and fell down with a happy sigh.
“Oh, you should’ve seen her, Nishi. She was enchanting!”
Nishino felt her expression shutter. Jealousy flushed through her, and she remained silent.
She swallowed down her disgust for herself. She didn’t want Hanano to love her like she loved Tsuno. The way she loved Tsuno was demented. Obsessive and violent.
But it was love.
Hanano sat up, watching Nishino’s face carefully when she didn’t respond. Finally, she grinned.
“Nishi, you don’t have to be jealous,” she stood, her uninjured hand reaching out for Nishino’s cheek. Nishino didn’t dare move. “I can love you.”
There was dried blood on her face. Her thumb swiped over Nishino’s lip. Nishino’s breath stuttered, her eyes on Hanano’s hand.
Hanano pushed her thumb between Nishino’s lips and grinned when she didn’t move away.
She looked like she just figured something out, her eyes twinkling with something unknown. Adrenaline coursed through Nishino as she tried to find the moment she had lost control of the situation.
Hanano pushed her thumb further in, and Nishino’s mouth opened to accommodate it.
“I can love you,” she repeated, her voice holding an emotion that Nishino couldn’t grasp. It felt like it echoed in the room. She felt heated, heard, unable to pull away.
Nishino nodded slowly, her mouth still around Hanano’s thumb.
For now, maybe she could have this.
–
Nishi had clung to her after, burying her face in Hanano’s neck. Hanano had never seen anyone as lonely as Nishino. Not even Youhei needed this much attention. She was crying into Hanano’s neck.
“Nishi, why’re you crying?”
“I don’t…I don’t know,” she whined, squeezing her arms tighter around Hanano.
“Is it about your home?” Hanano posited, watching Nishino’s shoulders shake. She cried with her mouth open, drool gathering at the corners.
“I don’t know!”
“If you wanted to, you could run away. You could stay with me.”
Nishino laughed even though Hanano wasn’t kidding.
“You don’t live anywhere.”
“I live everywhere,” she corrected.
“That’s dumb. You’re dumb.”
–
Miki groaned and clutched her stomach, a swooping feeling making her nauseous. When she looked up, she didn’t see any bars. She wasn’t in the cage.
“Huh?”
Looking around, she found that everyone else was here too.
Thank God. It was the motive reprieve.
“Rabbit!” Sasaki yelled. Monomoko sat at the front, perfectly still. It seemed almost tense, silent and for once, not the first to speak. “What’s going on? Why’re you-”
“What the fuck are you doing with these games?” Hiroaki shouted.
“Seriously,” Hama added, glancing at Manami. She was trembling, leaning almost all of her weight on Sasaki, who clearly was struggling to keep the girl upright. Miki marched over and wrapped her arm around Manami’s waist. She was clammy, cold to the touch. “The punishments were fucked.”
“A particularly sadistic co-worker suspects me,” it said curtly. “He has raised the issue with the person who organised the killing game. I have tried to allow leniency where possible.”
“Oh yeah,” Hiroaki snapped. “I’m sure Manami is loving your leniency right now, good job!”
“Thankyou,” it said flatly. “You will also notice that Watari Nishino has not been punished for entering the dormitories.”
Watari inhaled sharply.
“...What?”
Sasaki turned to her slowly, her eyes wide and guilty. Miki looked away.
“Watari, I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think-”
“No,” Watari said quietly. “No, it’s…it’s fine. I…thank you, rabbit.”
“You're welcome. I am close to completing my plan. This may be the last reprieve. Do what you will with it.”
“...The last?” Airi said, her voice trembling.
“Yes.”
Airi sprinted over to Harada and tackled him. She was lucky she was small enough to not knock him over, Miki thought.
“We’re going home!” she cried. “We’re going home!”
“We are,” he said, sobbing into her shoulder. The unspoken words drifted over to Miki. Everyone but Sawa. Masa was watching the pair fondly, and smiled softly at Miki. She smiled back.
“We should get you something to eat,” he said quietly. “And detach those two,” he pointed at Sasaki and Manami.
“Good idea,” Sasaki nodded.
–
Ken practically sprinted to his side. He tried to not soak up the attention too much, but it was difficult to push it away.
“Kazutoshi,” he said softly, looking at him like he was something precious. “I can talk to you again.”
“You can,” he agreed, smirking when Ken flushed. “Did you miss me that much?”
“Yes.”
The answer was immediate and, as always, it floored him. He swallowed.
“Shut up,” he grumbled, even as his chest felt lighter than it had in days.
“But we just got our talking privileges back,” Ken whined.
“Hasegawa,” Mai called, her voice firm. Kazutoshi did a double take. “Come with me.”
“Woah, you’re not gonna-”
He couldn’t finish the sentence, guilt forming a lump in his throat.
“Relax, I won’t hurt him,” she said gruffly. “I just need his help with something.”
Ken gave him a reassuring smile as he walked away. Kazutoshi frowned, only turning away from the door when Ruiko enthusiastically began to ruffle his hair.
–
Hayashi wasn’t just content letting him humiliate himself in his normal clothes. No, instead she had him in an outfit that he would truly never, ever pick out for himself.
She had him dressed in what he would call ‘Yanagi clothes’. Not even a basic black and white, either. The shirt was a deep green that he felt simply did not suit him. The pants were at least black but they were way too tight. He was stuffed into a black and gold waistcoat that was just…too flashy for him. The jacket was a similar green to his shirt, with black and gold cuffs that thankfully sat nicely on his wrists.
The jacket flared out dramatically behind him, accentuating every movement.
“Jesus, you look like you’re being tortured,” Hayashi said with a laugh. “Be right back, getting changed.”
The second the door shut behind her, Monomoko appeared.
“That is some interesting apparel you have on,” it commented.
He winced, looking down at himself and grimaced.
“It is,” he reluctantly agreed. “Why are you here anyway?”
“I am curious,” it said simply. “Do you believe you can be redeemed by doing what she wants?”
Ken flinched. He sometimes wished the rabbit would be less direct.
“I-honestly, not really. I don’t think I can be redeemed.”
“Many people seem to think that,” Monomoko replied.
“What? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It is irrelevant to you,” it said lightly. “You must be angry with me.”
Ken gritted his teeth.
“I don’t understand the games,” he confessed. “There’s no point to them. Are they just to make us suffer? To punish us for caring about each other?”
“They are to incentivise killing,” it said blandly. “Terror is usually a sufficient motive. But you already know that.”
It disappeared. Ken let out a shaky breath and Mai emerged from her room.
“Let’s go.”
–
Shigeki kept his eyes on Nishino. She was walking stiffly, shoulders hiked up to her ears. She was in pain.
“Watari,” he called, and watched her face go blank for a second before she smiled.
“Ya-na-gi~” she called back, leaning on the wall as he arrived.
“You seem unwell,” he said lightly.
“What? I’m fine!” she laughed, waving him off.
“Watari,” he warned. “I’m serious, if Okazaki did anything to you-”
“She wouldn’t! It’s fine, she wouldn’t!”
“Kamimura doesn’t believe that. Why should I?”
She huffed and crossed her arms.
“Because I want you to,” she lowered her arms. They hung limply at her side as she turned away from him. “Please.”
Shigeki’s jaw clenched. He wanted to cry. It was too much like home, like pretending when he was away at work. Pretending not to smell beer soaked into the carpet. Pretending that they were happy to receive a goodnight hug from him. Pretending that no one watched his hands for signs of violence.
He breathed out slowly. He had learned since he was a kid. He knew he couldn’t force it.
“I’ll agree to that, for now,” he promised. “I just…worry about you.”
“Ah, you’re so sweet Yanagi,” she teased. “But I’m afraid I’m just not interested.”
“N-not like that!” he flushed despite himself, and she giggled.
“I know, I’m just messing with you. Why aren’t you with Hayashi anyway?”
“Oh, she’s planning a big dinner that I’m not meant to know about,” Shigeki said smugly. Her first mistake was telling Masanari, who always struggled to keep secrets that made him happy. Shigeki barely had to prod at all for the boy to tell him everything. “I don’t know why she didn’t just ask me to serve, but I’m more than prepared to take it on at any time.”
“Pftt, that’s probably because I complained that there were no girl servers,” she said with a laugh.
“You mean no Mai servers?” he said with a raised brow.
“Caught me,” she replied, grinning as she shrugged. “What can I do to help? That’s not cooking, I mean. I don’t wanna cook.”
“Hm,” Shigeki tapped his chin as he thought. “Perhaps we could be entertainment? We are the dancers of the group, after all.”
“You’re SO right!” Watari exclaimed, lighting up at just the thought of it. “Ohmygod, we have to start practicing, like, NOW!”
–
Nakamigawa hovered over Takeshi’s shoulder as the man chopped some carrots. Manami inspected the size and asked for them to be a little smaller. Miki was banned from chopping, instead mixing some kind of batter. Wada was mostly clutching Manami like she was about to fall over, eagerly following her every word.
In all fairness, she did look like she was about to topple over. Slowly, she opened the fridge and pulled out some fresh ginger.
She turned to show it to Wada, who had never seen ginger before. Isono also looked over curiously, watching Manami peel it carefully. Nakamigawa was sure that the caution in her movements was to stop her from looking totally out of it to her friends.
She caught his eye and flashed him a quick smile. He didn’t buy it for a second. She instructed them to keep the garlic firmly away from Kamimura’s pot and kept talking about different herbs that Isono could grow when they got out of here.
The chatter trailed off as they settled into the monotony of their tasks. Every now and then Takeshi asked how she wanted something chopped, but no one else spoke.
Her knife clattered to the floor. She heaved, clutching at the edges of the countertop. Quickly, she brought one hand to her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut, shaking.
“Manami!” Wada cried, rushing over to her side. “Manami, what’s wrong?”
Nakamigawa brushed him aside and crouched next to Manami. He remembered how it felt. Talking would make her vomit. Chills would cover her body. Irritation would spike and settle before she could even get a hold of the feeling. Cramps would make her whole body tense with pain, which would make her want to vomit even more. Even when there was nothing left.
“Don’t talk,” he said gently. “Just stand up, okay? I can help you sit down.”
Her knees had buckled under the strain and she leaned on him heavily. Jesus, he thought, he was not an athlete.
Slowly, he deposited her onto a chair where she continued to tremble, shaking her head when people kept offering assistance.
“You’re making the thing on page 72, right?” he asked, squinting at the old-timey cookbook.
She nodded slowly.
“She’s adding alterations for Kamimura, though,” Wada said quietly.
“Okay, I’ll tell them what to do. You stay sat. Do not try to get up.”
She frowned, but hunched over as a new wave of nausea and cramps hit her hard. She wasn’t in a condition to argue with him.
–
Mai tried to pretend that she took no pleasure in Hasegawa’s embarrassment. And failed. Chiba squealed when she spotted them both, bouncing back and forth on her heels.
“You look so cool!” she yelled with stars in her eyes. Mai softened. Chiba lit up every room she was in. She was their hope, last time around. Their empathy. “You have to let me do makeup! Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease-”
“Fine, fine, okay, okay,” Mai agreed with a laugh. Hasegawa fidgeted and hesitated before he began to follow. He was probably stressing about being too ‘flashy’. She rolled her eyes.
–
Takeshi hovered near the doorway of the dining room. He was done with his tasks and unfortunately was big enough to take up a lot of counterspace. He didn’t mind standing there, though.
It meant he could listen to Kazutoshi and Hitomi.
“Honestly, I saw the twist coming from a mile away,” Kazutoshi said with a shrug.
“Yeah, I just couldn’t figure out how,” Hitomi replied. “How would he have had the time to rig up the trap on his fifteen minute break? Especially seeing as that break got interrupted by the detectives.”
“Huh,” Kazutoshi hummed, leaning back in his seat. “That’s a good question, actually.”
“Exactly!” Hitomi leaned in a little as she got excited. “I feel like the mysteries in this particular series are always put together a little haphazardly. It sometimes feels like it was focused more on romance than the actual detective part.”
“Yeah, I found that too. I mean, the characters are interesting, but it doesn’t advertise itself as a romance so it was a bit…surprising.”
“I actually got pretty mad at it,” Hitomi admitted with a chuckle. “I can’t remember the forensic guy’s name, but he annoyed me SO much, and then he ends up being the main love interest? Why?”
“Really? I heard people like him. I thought he wasn’t that bad.”
“Urgh, he’s so toothless,” Hitomi complained. “Honestly I much prefer older mysteries. There’s some western writers that I had been getting into before ending up here.”
“Yeah?”
Kazutoshi got up with his empty mug in hand, reaching for Hitomi’s silently. She handed it over and nodded.
“Agatha Christie is pretty good. She’s funny, too.”
“I should-” Kazutoshi turned around. Takeshi could hear people approaching. That was probably why. Shigeki and Nishino were both stretching in the corner of the dining room, muttering excitedly among themselves. Not them, then.
He poked his head out.
His jaw dropped.
Ken and Mai both looked exceptionally pretty. Ethereal, even. Ken was flushed, one side of his brown hair held back by a golden clip. His lips looked redder than usual, and slightly glossy. His eyelids had the slightest bit of glitter on them, and mascara made his already long eyelashes longer than usual.
He fiddled with his green sleeves and fidgeted, putting his weight on one leg and then to the other. His trousers were very tight. Takeshi blinked.
Mai’s ponytail was held back by a similar gold headpiece. Her eyeliner was sharp and pointed, and her lashes curled upwards. Her lips, like Ken’s, were redder than they usually were. Plumper, too. Her red waistcoat paired with the blue jacket suited her very well. Even the gold detailing on her shoulders and cuffs screamed beauty. Power.
Kazutoshi dropped the mugs and fell back into his seat, eyes roaming over Ken. They stayed on his legs for a long time before climbing back up to his lips. Takeshi had never seen his eyes so wide before. They were filled with something that Takeshi didn’t know how to identify.
"K-Kazutoshi!" he called, rushing over to the seat where Kazutoshi was now laying, still wide eyed. "A-are you okay?"
“What…what the fuck?” Kazutoshi’s voice was scratchy as he belatedly tried to sit up again. Ken reached out to steady his arm, and strangely, Kazutoshi didn't complain. Hitomi was sitting up straight.
“You both look lovely,” she said politely. Takeshi grinned. She met his gaze and flushed.
Shigeki and Nishino, on the other hand, were not holding it together so well. Shigeki was staring at Mai’s shoes with a flushed face. They were ordinary, black with gold plating on the top.
Nishino had gone silent, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. Her eyes were darting all over Mai.
“I love my life,” Takeshi heard her mutter.
Mai raised an eyebrow at Kazutoshi, who bristled, flushing a deep red even as he bared his teeth.
“Hasegawa, take ‘Toshi to his room and do what I told you.”
“R-right!”
Takeshi watched as Kazutoshi got up, seemingly in a trance as he approached Ken. Mai started towards the kitchen, and stopped in front of Shigeki.
“You’re in the way, Shige,” she said, her voice smooth and lower and usual. He was definitely not in the way in any way shape or form. Shigeki shivered and stepped neatly out of the way, his back hitting the wall.
“S-sorry, Mai,” he stuttered out. She leaned close and whispered something in his ear. Takeshi was close enough to catch it. ‘You’re adorable, prince.’
Shigeki went bright red, his blue eyes red and dilated. This dinner was going to be fun, he decided.
–
“Ken, what’s with…all this?” Kazutoshi asked when they were safely back in his room. Mai was never gonna let him hear the end of this. He had fallen. Actually fallen, just because Ken put on a bit of makeup and a fancy outfit. In Kazutoshi’s room was food that he could eat waiting at his desk. A water bottle, unopened, as he liked it.
Ken pulled back Kazutoshi’s chair for him and averted his gaze, his cheeks darkening as he spoke.
“For y-you, Pr-Prince Kazutoshi,” he said quietly.
Kazutoshi couldn’t help it. He snickered, raising his hand to cover his mouth. Ken frowned, his mouth wobbling in a way that indicated that he was about to cry.
“Don’t laugh!” he complained, his voice cracking halfway through.
“S-Sorry, sorry,” Kazutoshi comforted. “I-it’s just unexpected.” He took the seat and looked up at him. Chiba must’ve done his makeup. He looked good. Really good. “Don’t you hate Yanagi’s prince schtick?”
Ken grimaced.
“Hayashi’s demanded that I do it,” Ken confessed.
“You don’t have to do everything she says, you know.”
“I kind of do,” he said awkwardly. “Besides, she said you like it.”
“I!-” Kazutoshi’s brain stalled. “What? How did she know-”
“You do like it then,” Ken confirmed. He seemed dejected, somehow.
“I-why’re you sad about it?”
“B-because…” Ken trailed off. “You…y’know…I don’t want you to like it when Yanagi does it.”
He said the words like he had to scrape them out of his throat. Kazutoshi blinked. He hadn’t expected this.
“...You’re…You’re jealous?”
He could hear the disbelief in his own voice.
“Yeah…I guess so.”
“Well, maybe you should do it then,” Kazutoshi said boldly. “See who’s better.”
He shouldn’t have said that. Ken’s expression morphed into the same one he’d worn in Salvation Game. He was firmly in competition mode.
Notes:
I put off posting this cos I'm not a huge fan of this chapter but I hope you all enjoyed it anyway.
Watari is a messTM right now but hey at least she got to see Hayashi dolled up!
Chapter 35: The Trolley Problem
Summary:
Monomoko comes to Ojima with a moral problem. A plan is formed.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Ken’s hands ran up and down Kazutoshi’s sides. He wriggled in Ken’s lap in an attempt to get closer. The lipgloss he was wearing tasted fruity. He had one hand in Ken’s hair, and the other curled in his collar, trying to pull him closer again.
Someone knocked at the door. Ken jerked back with a squeak, and winced as Kazutoshi’s grip in his hair tightened.
Kazutoshi was going to kill whoever it was.
“Ignore it,” he demanded.
“But what if-”
Kazutoshi leaned closer to kiss him again when the knocking got louder. More insistent.
“I know you’re in there!” Watari called.
“I’m going to kill her,” Kazutoshi said flatly.
“D-don’t joke about that.”
“Who said I’m joking?”
With great reluctance, he hauled himself off Ken’s lap and stomped over to the door. Great. Fucking great. If she wasn’t literally dying, he was going to lose his shit.
He wrenched the door open.
“What.”
Watari’s eyebags were fucking huge. It was the first thing he noticed, running his eyes over her. She was standing awkwardly, her weight tilted to the left. It was unlike her.
“Ohohoho,” She said in lieu of a greeting, a grin pushing up her cheeks. “What do we have here?”
“Don’t.”
She stepped into the room and ran her eyes over Ken.
“Have you two finally got together now?”
Kazutoshi cringed.
“I - we’re not -” he cut himself off and inhaled shakily.
“It’s complicated,” Ken said swiftly, giving him a concerned look.
She groaned and flopped back on the bed next to Ken. She winced when she landed.
“Ugh, tell me about it.”
“You do not have a chance with Mai,” Kazutoshi said bluntly, crossing his arms across his chest.
Watari seemed surprised for a second before laughing awkwardly.
“Yeah, I-”
“H-Hold on!” Ken interrupted, his eyes wide. “You weren’t talking about Hayashi, were you?”
“Um…”
It was Kazutoshi’s turn to groan. Locked in a room with Okazaki for three days. Right. Of fucking course.
“Nishino, tell me you didn’t.”
She remained silent.
“Nishino,” Ken reprimanded. “She’s dangerous! You know that! What she did to-”
“Don’t bring my death into this,” Kazutoshi snapped.
“R-Right. Sorry.”
Watari cringed, her mouth wobbling as her eyes darted around the ceiling.
“I,” she took a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about it. I just need a minute. With someone that’s…not her.”
Kazutoshi frowned and sat next to Ken. Their legs were touching. He cherished the warmth while he had it, and wondered if that’s what Watari was doing.
“Nishino,” he said quickly. “She’s hurting you, isn’t she?”
“No!” she refuted, her eyes wide. “No. I - listen, I have two more days anyway. Even if she was, I…I just…” she trailed off for a few seconds. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I don’t want to talk about her right now.”
“Wa-ta-ri!” Rui called. Watari jerked and sat up slowly. Ruiko pushed the door open gently. Kazutoshi had forgotten to lock it. Fuck. She wasn’t gonna let him hear the end of that. “Shigeki wants to talk to you about the dance thingy you’re doing! Oh and…Hasegawa? Mai wants you back in the dining room. ‘Toshi, you ate your thingy, right?”
Kazutoshi rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, I ate it.”
“Good!” she said with a grin. “I helped make it, y’know!”
“Wow, I’m surprised.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she snapped.
“It tasted good.”
“Thank you - hey! That’s rude!”
Rui dragged Nishino out of the room. He and Ken glanced at each other. Ken sighed.
“Let’s go,” Kazutoshi finally said. He held Ken’s hand to pull him along. Not for any other reason.
He dropped it just before they reached the kitchen. Miki was there, leaning against the doorway and grinning at them. Kazutoshi was about to pass her when she put up a hand to stop him and tapped her lips.
“Huh?”
She tapped them again with a raised brow. Fuck, the lip gloss. Hastily, he wiped it off and looked back at her for her approval. She nodded and gave him a thumbs up.
“I’m happy for you both,” she said pleasantly.
Kazutoshi nodded curtly at her while Ken spluttered behind him. Right. Time to deal with this shitshow.
–
Shigeki would be annoyed that Hasegawa was such a bad host if Mai wasn’t consuming his every waking thought right now.
She kept hovering near him, looming over his shoulder as she poured him some more water. Her fingers would graze his sides as she passed, a smug smile etched into her face.
He shivered when she touched him, and flushed when Nakamigawa retched at their interaction.
“You two are so gross,” he complained.
“W-we are not!” he stammered, glaring as he felt his face get warmer. He truly wasn’t used to sitting down during mealtimes. He and Watari had already performed their dance for everyone. He had caught Mai’s eye afterwards.
She was smiling. At him. Her eyes shone with affection, and he grinned back at her.
No, he couldn’t ignore it. Hasegawa was the worst host he had ever seen. He doted solely on Kazutoshi and neglected the rest of the table, rushing over to take orders that he repeated under his breath five times over before practically sprinting to the kitchen.
Isono emerged from the kitchen and sat down with a groan.
“I’m so not used to cooking,” she complained.
“Ah, if I remember right you and Masanari don’t have much experience in the kitchen?”
“Nope,” she said, popping the ‘p’. “Manami’s teaching us though, which is pretty helpful. If we’re living together I guess one of us should know how to do it at least.”
“Living together?” he asked. Masanari hadn’t mentioned it to him yet. Strange.
“Yeah! It’s gonna be a lot of fun!”
“Truly, I am happy that you two have found each other. It’s terrible that you met under such circumstances, but I am so glad that you have each other to lean on.”
Isono’s face went lax for a second before she smiled.
“I-thankyou, Yanagi.”
Someone whacked him on the head with something.
“Ow!” he looked up to see Hiroaki brandishing a wooden spoon, his arms crossed across his chest.
“Stop making people sad Yanagi!”
He furrowed his brow and turned around fully to face him.
“I am not!”
–
Shigeki returned to the incinerator room. Ojima had asked him to take the trash out, and he had. But every time he nearly made it back to the kitchen, he returned. What if the pictures of him weren’t completely burned? What if one had slipped away?
He had checked it, again and again. Isono was there this time, looking up at him like she was expecting him.
He remained in the doorway.
“You’re back again,” she said simply.
“I…yes.”
“Shouldn’t you be with Hayashi right now?”
“Mai is um…lecturing Hasegawa about his hosting skills.”
It was funny to hear his own spiel leave Mai’s mouth. ‘You have to make them feel wanted, Hasegawa. You can’t just speed through their order and run away.’
“Well, at least we know he wants ‘Toshi,” Watari had snickered. Kazutoshi had elbowed her and told her to shut up.
“He is pretty bad,” Isono giggled. “He forgot my order like, three times.”
“Truly, he is not attuned to the wants of others.”
Isono brushed her bangs back and hummed.
“I wouldn’t say that. He’s just flustered, is all.”
It was phrased politely, but it seemed like a reprimand. Thinking about it, Shigeki supposed they were close.
“Um…Yanagi?”
She seemed shy all of a sudden, averting her eyes. Her hands twitched upwards like she was about to grab her forearms. She kept them at her sides.
“I wanted to tell you that um…I kind of get it, with the pictures. I don’t want to get into it, but if you ever need anything…”
Shigeki blinked.
“Miss Isono, I am sorry that you have had to deal with that. It’s utterly reprehensible behaviour.”
As he said it, he felt himself locking up. He could easily cast judgement on those who had hurt her. Not for a second would he think of her behaviour as a factor. It bothered him, then, how Lilah and Katayama stood out to him as beacons of innocence. Benevolence, even.
“Shige,” Mai called. He turned quickly, and found her waiting with her arms crossed, one finger tapping her left forearm repeatedly. “Something's wrong.”
“I-” his eyes flicked over to Isono, who was looking at him with concern, and then back to Mai.
“Isono. Out.”
“O-okay!”
Mai shut the door behind her and approached him slowly. He looked up at her in wonder. She had highlighter on her cheeks. They were shimmering. He hadn’t noticed until she had gotten so close.
“Shige, what’s wrong?” He opened his mouth. She covered it with her hands, raising her eyebrows. “Before you say anything, I need to establish one rule, Shige. Do not lie to me. Got it?"
Slowly, he nodded. Her hand was warm. She removed it.
“I…Miss Isono was telling me that she could relate to my problem with those um…images,” he gestured at the incinerator. “So she could be here for me. I-” he shuddered. “I told her that it was reprehensible, whoever did that to her and I just-”
His jaw felt stuck together. Sound clawed up his throat, fleeting and desperate, but didn’t make the journey out of his mouth. Maybe this was how Masanari felt.
“This is about Lilah and her friend, isn’t it?”
He nodded.
“I just…” he began, surprised when the words formed so neatly, like that brief vocal breakdown hadn’t even happened. “I keep thinking that well…I did cheat. I did deserve it.” Mai opened her mouth, surely about to say something sharp. He quickly continued. “But if Isono had cheated I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t say she deserved…that. I suppose it’s different for girls but-”
“Shige,” Mai interrupted, her expression fierce. “There was a reason I was so pissed off when you told me. It’s because you didn’t deserve that. You didn’t. It’s not-”
She took a breath, and paused, rubbing her temples. He watched and understood that she needed time for the words to form. He stayed silent.
“Listen, Shige. The-” she paused again. “The scary thing is that when people do that…it’s not even about you. It’s about them. There’s literally nothing you can do about it because, to them, you were never a factor in the first place.”
He shook his head without realising, squeezing his eyes shut. He felt like a little kid again.
Never a factor? How can you love someone and have them not be a factor in your actions?
He inhaled slowly, his breath hitching when he opened his eyes and saw Mai. She was looking at him with such softness. Like he was something precious. It was so different from her usual stoic expression. He couldn’t help but stare.
“I…Mai, she loved me.”
It was all he could say. It had been an indisputable fact for him, for years. To offer his devotion to someone who hadn’t would be devastating.
“She didn't," Mai said firmly. “Shige, she didn’t.”
–
“Ojima,” Monomoko called. Takeshi was washing dishes, and seemed startled by its presence. “I have a problem to discuss with you.”
“About our escape?”
“Yes. It is a moral problem.”
“...Okay. Explain.”
“As you know, I have numerous colleagues who work on this game. I must prioritise this game having no future. I must prioritise your safety. To do that, they must be eliminated.”
Takeshi frowned as he dried his hands.
“You’re going to kill them?”
“Yes. I am unsure of who I can even save.”
“You want to save them?” his eyebrows were furrowed, his mouth drawn in a thin line. He seemed to be uncomfortable with the idea of killing. Monomoko supposed he always was.
“I want to save some of them. Those who did not know what they had signed up for. Those who are too young to perish. Those who have been tortured during their time at the facility.”
“Hold on,” he interrupted, his eyes wide. “Tortured?”
“Indeed. Particularly those in entry level positions suffer under the hands of their team leads. There is one victim who is just two years older than yourself.”
Takeshi exhaled slowly.
“...How?”
“A colleague of mine subjected him to unnecessary open heart surgery and intentionally made mistakes to make this young man dependent on his care.”
“That's…holy shit.”
“Indeed.”
Its ears twitched.
“I know you’re listening. You may enter.”
Yanagi, Hayashi and Watari entered the room. The sight of Watari made something heavy settle in Monomoko. Last time, it had severely failed her. She had died painfully, flailing and shrieking in pain until her throat closed up. Previously, she had sobbed and begged Monomoko to let them go.
The memory of her face, scrunched up in grief and desperation would stay with Monomoko forever. Monomoko had driven her to that end.
“So, what, the people running the game are being tortured too?” Hayashi asked.
“Some of them, yes. They are often subjected to physical, psychological and sexual abuse under the guise of experimentation.”
Hayashi's eye twitched, and she crossed her arms. Monomoko wondered briefly if she thought it looked tough when she did that. To Monomoko, it looked like a self soothing gesture. A reminder of her physical strength. That she could protect herself.
“Like human experimentation?” Watari clarified.
“Yes.”
Something sharp flashed in Hayashi’s eyes. Her jaw dropped.
“It’s not…Okazaki’s file, it’s not the same people, right?”
“It is.”
“What?” Watari turned quickly, her voice wobbly. “What’s wrong with Hanano? Is she-”
“She wouldn’t want you to know,” Hayashi said firmly. “She didn’t want us to know.”
Hayashi leaned back against the countertop and raised an eyebrow.
“So,” she began. “You want to save some of them, and kill the rest. What’s the plan for that?”
“I did not come to plan.”
“No,” Hayashi shot back. “You came to ask if you had our permission to save the assholes who kidnapped and tortured us.”
Monomoko remained silent. Their forgiveness was always at the forefront of its mind. How could it not be?
“Last time around,” it finally said. “The fire Watari set destroyed a lot of the facility. So much so that those in charge were sure that we would need a different location for the next game.”
“At least I died doing something, I guess,” she mumbled, eyes downcast. Yanagi gave her a concerned look, bumping his shoulder with hers. She straightened, and flashed him a quick smile.
Monomoko couldn’t get distracted by their interactions. Not now.
“The plan was to hold the next killing game in the lab facilities. The staff would exist in my plane of existence for the duration of the game.”
“Your WHAT?” Watari yelled.
“It is as I said. I can trap them in this plane.”
“And you didn’t do this in the first place why?” Hayashi grumbled.
“They are clever people,” Monomoko said slowly. “I have no way to coerce them into entering the plane. They must enter willingly. Additionally, those I want to save are unlikely to cooperate with this plan as they have been made reliant on Dr Kan’s care.”
“The guy who did the open heart surgery?” Takeshi asked.
“That is Dr Kan, yes. Hayashi, you are familiar."
Hayashi huffed and tightened her grip on her upper arms. Yanagi inched closer to her, his face fixed with sympathy.
“Then they’ll die either way, won’t they?" she said. "If he’s psychotic enough to do that then they’ll probably die in one of his experiments if they live and you do nothing. If he dies, they die of their conditions. Or, you kill them in the plane. Honestly, that one sounds the most painless anyway.”
Monomoko had previously considered this. But it had seen these lives. It had seen Erita tapping her finger along to the music playing at her desk, looking relaxed in a way she never had before. It had seen Zenjaku and Poemu celebrate together, laughing and inebriated. Flickers of Galahad’s confidence had returned, and Anna was always willing to entertain Monomoko. These were people.
Monomoko could not ignore their suffering. Not if it wanted to change.
“I don’t think Monomoko will do that,” Takeshi said slowly.
“Monomoko,” Yanagi said. “I do not know how you got mixed up in all this. I do not even remember how we got mixed up in all this, admittedly.” He laughed a little. “But we are going to help you just as you are helping us. It is only fair.”
Monomoko let the words, passionate as they were, slither into its worldview. It had not listened to the students last time. It had regarded their suffering, their thoughts, somewhat distantly.
“You do not remember,” it said slowly. The amnesia room. Of course they didn’t remember. Even now, launched back in time and reliving everything again, they didn’t remember their time at the facility pre-amnesia room. It was perfect.
“Uh, yeah,” Watari teased. “That’s what he just said.”
“You were all placed in the amnesia room before entering the killing game,” it informed them. Their faces were lax and pale with horror. It continued on. “It is reasonable to assume that those I want to save may be able to continue with their memories erased.”
“But what about their medical conditions? It’s not like they’ll just go away,” Hayashi shot back.
“They will not. But they will not know to specifically seek out Dr Kan. If another doctor can care for them, then I will be pleased. But they will not try to save Dr Kan.”
“So they just get off scott free?” Hayashi questioned, her voice getting tight with tension.
“If you saw their conditions, you would understand that this is not true. They are unable to escape just as you are. The ones in control of this project will be within my plane. If you would like to enact revenge, do it there.”
“How do I know you won’t just trap me there?”
“I suppose you won’t know that. I assure you, I do not plan to. Your assistance may be useful. There are a lot of them, and they have physically beaten me before. If I were to perish, the plane would perish also.”
“Right. Fine, then. Okazaki can come with me, she’s got her gun. Hopefully that’ll be enough.”
“Mai, I’m not sure!-”
“Not now, Shige. We’ll talk about it later.”
Monomoko hesitates. There is a part of its plan that it knows is upsetting.
“I need them to see that there is no future for this project here.”
It stared at Watari.
“You need my fire?” she asked, a devilish grin on her face. She dug her nails into her hands. They were shaking violently. Monomoko struggled to understand her, sometimes.
“I do. However, it must not be deemed destruction to school property. You have already avoided one punishment, Watari.”
“But the only reason it wasn’t destruction last time is because I was…y’know…”
Silence spread through the room.
“Hell no!” Yanagi growled. “You can’t seriously be suggesting that she sacrifice herself! That’s barbaric!”
“I am not suggesting that,” it said simply. “I am suggesting that she makes it look like she’s going to perish.”
—
What didn’t he remember? The same group of people who wanted to see him undressed, the same group of people who had used games to prod at his trauma, had him trapped for an unknown amount of time. And he remembered nothing.
“F-fuck,” he cried out. “N-Nakamigawa!”
He wasn’t here. Everyone had cleared out - the dinner was over. There were footsteps approaching. Ken looked up at him with wide eyes.
“T-Takeshi,” he greeted, his voice quiet and wobbly. “W-what’s wrong? Do you want me to go get Hiroaki?”
“Don’t leave.”
The words came out fast, less like a demand and more like pleading.
“I don’t remember,” he confessed. “When you made me drink last time…I don’t remember. I wasn’t there.”
“I…I know.”
“It scares me,” he said hollowly. “I-I’m so scared, Ken. I’m so…I’m so angry with you! I thought…I thought I could trust you.”
“I thought you might be,” Ken replied quietly, hands clasped in front of him. “I hurt you. I knew you trusted me and I took advantage of that.” He looked Takeshi in the eyes. “That…it wasn’t fair. None of what I did was fair.”
“Ken,” Takeshi cried. “What else don’t I remember? What else? I-”
It didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel real. He couldn’t stand the thought that none of this was real-
“If you like,” Ken began. “I can walk you through what happened when I made you drink. I don’t know if that would um…help, but if it does, I can.”
“Please.”
His voice cracked, and he tried to keep his breathing even. His world was calling to him again. If here wasn’t even real, then it wouldn’t matter, right?
Except, he felt so hurt. Ken had betrayed him. That was real, even if nothing else was.
“I waited until you were spaced out, obviously. During Chiba’s trial you and Hiroaki talked about what you did and didn’t remember during the investigation. He also always pulls you around everywhere, and said that you don’t respond to being shaken or hit when you were spaced out in one of the morning games. So, if you didn’t respond to physical stimuli, then I was fine to go ahead. Every time I approached you I prodded you to see if you would respond. You didn’t. I tested to see if you would react to the smell of rubbing alcohol before I administered it. You didn’t. From there it was um…fairly straightforward.”
“I didn’t respond…at all?”
Ken’s eyes strayed over to the right.
“You um…you gagged. I thought that meant I had been caught, but you didn’t come back. You didn’t even really react to the taste either even though it's…pretty notoriously unpleasant.”
Takeshi inhaled a shaky breath. It felt like he was cornered, trembling in his room as familiar footsteps approached. It felt like his door being unlocked. He swallowed.
“I…what’s wrong with me?”
Ken frowned, his expression sympathetic as he fidgeted.
“Um…I don’t want to overstep, but you have PTSD, right?”
“I…that’s what Monomoko said.”
“I, um, I’m pretty sure that’s part of it.”
“I-” he could feel himself pulling away. His world was right there, beckoning him upwards and away from his horrifically unfamiliar body. Bright, colourful melodies and patterns would comfort him if he just went away. If he just-
“Takeshi?” Ken asked.
“Huh?”
“I um…I want you to know I’m…I shouldn’t have…” he paused and tugged on his hair, his mouth thinning into a straight line.
“You hurt me, Ken. It hurts.”
His voice was ragged and high in a way he didn't recognise.
“I-I know," Ken said gently, his eyes downcast.
“You…you regret it, though?”
He opened his mouth, but only a strangled noise left him. He closed it, and nodded when the words failed to come.
“O-Okay," Takeshi whispered. "Okay."
Notes:
I'm both moving house and starting a full time course this week so uploads may be slower for a bit, sorry!
Next up: The Behaviour Game! This one is much lighter than the previous two games, I hope you enjoy it!