Archive of Our Own ^beta

Melissa Gold doesn’t get sick.

Well that was a lie, she did get sick, she just…powered through it. That’s it. Suck it up, get on with it. She’d learnt that lesson the hard way, when her mom went to prison and her father took to the bottle to cope, that's all she could do. She remembered throwing up in the night and crying out for her father who never came to help. The one time she went to him complaining her head hurt, he’d made sure it hurt a lot worse. She had to cover up the bruises with makeup that day; didn’t want the school asking questions. Bad enough the kids at school knew her as the “one with the mom in prison” she didn’t need, that too.

So she learned: Power through, only rely on yourself. No one was coming to save you. 

So when she woke up this morning with a pounding headache, scratchy voice and raging temperature, she got dressed, albeit more slowly than usual, not even caring to put makeup on, skipped breakfast as the idea of food made her want to hurl and decided to splurge on a cab to work instead of risking the subway. She tottered into work, glad she had decided to forgo heels for today, and basically collapsed at her desk. Resting her head against the cool wood, she moaned at the slight relief it gave her burning body. Of course her brief reprieve wouldn't last long as she heard the familiar voice of her boss call out from her adjoining office, “Mel? I need my morning coffee,”

Valentina.

The relationship between Mel and her boss had been…alright since the whole Sentry/Void incident, not great but not terrible either. Val hadn’t seemed to hold anything against her but then again she did save her life so she guessed that kind of balanced out the whole “ratting you out to The Winter Soldier” thing. Mel shuddered as she remembered the scene she’d walked into in the tower. She’d been ready to stand her ground and call Val out for her bullshit but she walked in and saw Bob or Sentry or whoever the heck he was strangling Val. 

And so she pulled the trigger. 

She killed a man.

For her. 

Luckily or unluckily she hadn’t killed the guy but still ever since it all happened it was like there was an invisible gulf between her and Val and for the life of her she couldn't figure out how to cross it. Val was present but she was always at a distance. Conversations were always kept to professional matters, there were no more late night meetings, no more drives to work at her place, Mel couldn’t remember the last time Val had even touched her.

And she hated it.

She should be glad. She could come to work, get on with her job and go home. But…it felt like something was missing, like something vital had been ripped out of her and she had no idea what it was. Well that was a lie…she did know what it was, she just didn’t want to admit it. 

“Mel, as much as I appreciate your creative mind I don’t pay you to sit at your desk all day,” Val sniped. Mel sighed. Only several more hours and she could retreat to the safety and comfy security of her bed. Removing her head from the desk and dragging herself to her feet. She managed to put together a half decent cup of coffee before staggering into Val’s office. She was behind her desk, looking at some reports. She did a double take when Mel placed the coffee on her desk. 

“You look like hell.” that Mel knew. The white blouse she’d pressed to perfection was rumpled and tight with sweat, her navy skirt was crimped, her sweaty hair had matted to her scalp and her cheeks had a very unflattering reddish undertone like she’d been sunburned. But still, Val didn't need to mention it, especially looking the way she did. Her black suit ironed to perfection, makeup perfect, hair washed and combed into position. 

Mel scoffed, “I feel like hell, thanks.” Val raised her perfectly plucked eyebrow at her apparent lack of filter. Mel mentally cursed. She did not need to get fired today, or have a report filed against her to HR. 

“I see. Are you well enough to be here today?”Mel stiffened. She looked at Val’s face which was as unreadable as ever.  Was she actually being genuine or was this a trick?

“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t,” Mel uttered before speeding out of the office, her head spinning. She collapsed in her chair, panting. Just a few more hours, she could do this.

***

Mel could not do this.

By hour one she had started shaking, her body temperature bungee jumping between boiling hot and unbearably freezing. By hour two everything hurt whenever she moved, even gripping her mouse made her hand cramp in pain. By hour three her vision had begun to swim wildly in and out of focus so the documents on her computer turned into alphabet soup that she couldn’t hope to read even if she tried. To top it all off she just felt miserable. 

Her only saving grace had been that Val hadn’t asked her to get up that much today, content to leave her sat at her desk.

“Mel, can you come in here please?” Val asked, her soft voice sending booming currents through Mel’s head. Of course even that small solace had to be ripped away.

“C-coming Val,” Mel hissed through gritted teeth. On shaking legs, she inched into Val’s office, panting due to the effort. As she looked at Val the colours of her hair began to blur slightly, the white standing stark against the dark brown. She blinked, hard. Everything came into focus again.

“I’m looking over the financial-” Val began but Mel could barely hear her, her words died on her lips which was good because every word she’d heard had sent an ice pick through Mel’s brain. Black spots swirled in the corner of her eyes. Mel blinked but if anything that just made them multiply. Her shaking intensified, her whole body vibrating. The world flipped on its side as she hit the ground, the last thing she saw was Val springing up from her desk.

Then blackness.

***

Mel was laying on something soft when she awoke. Something plush and warm and a thousand times more comfortable than her bed back home. Something was working its way through her hair, stroking the sweaty strands. Someone’s fingers, slow and oh so gentle. It had been so long since someone had done that. It felt amazing. Mel moaned. The fingers halted, retreating. Mel whimpered, her eyes fluttering open. The office was still on its side, but it was darker, how long had she’d been out?

Then she realised that the blinds had been drawn, blocking out the light. Also that whatever she was resting her head on was moving . 

Oh no.

Mel’s eyes shot up to see Valentina Allegra De Fontaine looking down at her, brown eyes full of…fear? No that couldn’t be right, Val wasn’t scared of anything, even staring Sentry down as he choked the breath out of her she hadn’t even flinched. And yet here she was, Mel’s head in her lap, looking at her like she was a grenade with the pin pulled. 

Mel wasn’t sure how long their self imposed staring contest went on but it was broken by Val stating, “103 degrees.”

“What?” 

Val cleared her throat, “103 degrees, that was what your temperature was when I called my doctor up here to check on you,” her eyes grew cold, sharp flinty rocks embedded in her face, “after you fainted .”

Mel slowly sat up, biting down a wave of nausea as she did. The room pitched and she screwed her eyes shut, heaving, only to feel a reassuring hand on her arm. Peeling them open she glanced down and saw Val, her shaking hand holding her steady. Mel swallowed, her tongue fuzzy and heavy. This was the most Val had touched her in months. Val retracted her arm, her face growing cold, “Do you have any idea how dangerous that is Mel? It’s only a miracle you didn’t pass out earlier,” she pinched her nose, breathing out heavily, “Why the hell didn’t you call in sick? You have more than enough sick days saved up,” she waved her hand at her, “Look at you, you obviously shouldn’t be here!” she yelled, her voice shrill. 

Mel’s vision blurred but not for the reason you’d expect. Tears gathered in her dark eyes. Val didn’t want her here. She didn’t power through like she’d taught herself to do. She’d screwed up. Fat, stupid tears rolled down her face, her lip quivered as she stammered out, “I’m sorry” before traitorous sobs burst from her mouth. She clasped her hand over her mouth in an effort to contain her pained cries but they bubbled over, running like water over her hands. She shut her eyes, not wanting to see the disgust on her boss’s face as the sobs just kept on coming. 

This was officially the lowest point in her professional career. Mel never cried at work. She never cried in public, period. Crying got you nothing but cold stares and black eyes. She held it all in until it was safe to let it out into her pillow at home like she should. But yet here she was, having a bloody breakdown in her boss’ office, in front of her boss no less. 

Mel could practically hear the lecture coming, the “this is so unprofessional at work” talk, along with a referral to HR, when she was surprised by feeling herself being drawn into a hug. She was even more surprised when she heard Val’s voice by her ear, “Shhh darling, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled when you're feeling so bad.” 

What. The. Fuck.

Val didn’t do this, she didn't comfort people, didn’t call them pet names, didn’t try and make them feel better. She certainly wouldn’t do that for Mel, someone who had royally fucked her over. Mel wriggled, trying to fight it. She couldn’t have this. She didn’t deserve this, didn’t need-

“It’s alright Melissa, I’ve got you,” Mel whispered. 

That opened the floodgates. Mel’s hand fisted into Val's suit as she began to cry in earnest, poor attempts at English trying to make their way out of her mouth. Val just held her tighter as she came apart in her arms, shaking and sputtering. Eventually, her sobs quietened but Val kept a hold of her, almost as if she was scared she would collapse again if she let her go. 

Mel didn’t feel any better for crying, she felt hot and tired and achy and her headache was back in full force. Every breath sent a hammer through her skull. She whimpered, hiding her face in Val’s suit hoping the dark would help disperse it, it didn’t. 

She felt something cool, rest against her head, opening her eyes she realised it was a bottle of water, “Drink, all that crying would have left you dehydrated,” Val unscrewed the cap and handed it to Mel who drank with grateful gulps. Almost immediately she began to cough it back up, water spilling all over herself. She cringed. She must look a state.

“Little sips darling, take it slow,” Val commanded and Mel listened, slowly drinking the water this time, grateful when it ran down her throat, providing a soothing balm to the fire that lay there. She handed the finished bottle to Val and sat back, her eyes shut, breathing heavily. The water had helped a bit but she still felt awful.

“I’ll have the driver take you home Mel, you need to rest,” Mel’s eyes shot open as she saw Val with her phone in hand ready to call up her driver to take her back to her apartment. Manicured nails ready to hand her fate over to the stark four walls of her cold, lonely place where the only company she would have would be the sound of her own voice and crappy daytime television. 

“Wait!” Val fingers hover over the buttons, her face perplexed, “please don’t make me go home,” Mel begs, hating how small her voice was.

Val's expression hardened, “You need to rest Mel, you can’t-” she freezes. Her eyes widen as the realization sets in, “Is there any reason why you don’t want to go home?” she asks. Mel knows what she’s expecting her to say: shitty boyfriend, bad parents, noisy neighbours even, her excuse is just pathetic. 

“I don’t want to be alone,” she admits, bringing her legs up to hug her knees, even though the gesture makes her want to hurl her non-existent breakfast up. 

“There’s no one at home, no parents, no..partner?”

Mel shook her head.

Val pulled her lip between her teeth, “Still you shouldn’t be working, you need to give your body time to fight off whatever it is you’ve got,” she sighed, “I guess you could always stay at my place until you feel better?”

Mel stared at her, she had to be joking right? The last time she went to one of Val’s places was the night everything went to hell. Val shrugged, “If you don’t want to-”

“No!” Mel winced at her throat did not appreciate that shout, she tried again, quieter this time, “No, I-I want to, thank you Val, that’s very kind of you,”

Val swallowed, “You're my assistant. I have a duty of care to ensure that you're fit for work,” she replied. It was clipped, precise.

Mel deflated. Of course it was about that. Val was her boss. She was just fulfilling her duty of care. She didn’t care about Mel like that.

But why did she hold her like that earlier? 

Before Mel could ponder on that thought Val got up from the sofa, straightening her suit, “You can sleep there until we’re ready to go,” she jerked her head towards the sofa, her tone left no room for arguing. Mel nodded, stretching out on the sofa again, burrowing into the warm spot Val left behind. She was suddenly freezing, her whole body erupting into shivers. 

As her eyes drifted closed and she felt herself fall into an uneasy sleep. she felt something drape across her. She wanted to open her eyes to see what it was but she was being swiftly pulled into unconsciousness. 

***

Someone was shaking her, pulling her from the sweet abyss of sleep.

Mel groans, throwing her arm over her head. Just five more minutes.

She hears a very familiar chuckle, “C’mon Mel, we’ve gotta go.” Mel slowly opened her eyes, a little worried that she might have said that last part out loud, to see Val looking down at her. Behind her the blinds are open, it's dark. Had she slept all day? 

Val’s eyes follow hers, “You slept for around seven hours. Seems you really needed the rest,” she added, her tone triumphant. Of course she had to rub in being right, even when it came to Mel’s health. 

Mel sat up, her legs tangling in something. She looked down and realized it was Val’s shawl, the blue one she had put on to try and appear “maternal” for Bob. Val must have laid it on her as she slept. But why? Surely she’d fulfilled her duty of care by letting her sleep on her sofa, hell letting her stay over was above and beyond what most bosses would do.

She was startled out of her internal thoughts by Val waving her hand in front of her face, “Come on Mel, the building needs to be locked up,” Val held out a hand for Mel to take which she did, allowing herself to be pulled to her feet. She immediately regretted that as she swayed forward on unsteady legs, a raging fever and no food would do that to her, Mel threw her arms around the nearest thing which just so happened to be Val’s shoulders. Val’s arms wrapped around her waist. Their faces so close Mel could feel her boss’s breath on her lips. 

“S-sorry,” Mel breathed.

Val shook her head, “I..its alright,” she said, stepping back but keeping her arms on Mel, holding her steady. If Mel was only a little bit more lucid she would have seen her boss’s pinkening cheeks. She held onto her as they slowly made their way downstairs, Mel walking with all the grace of a newborn giraffe. As they passed her office Mel made to stop so that she could go and get her things but Val said, “I’ve already had the driver collect your belongings, they’re in the car,” Mel nodded, glad she only had to focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Luckily they didn’t have to traverse many flights of stairs as the elevators were still in operation, that didn’t make trying to stand up in a moving metal box any easier. Mel just lent awkwardly against a wall and prayed the whole way down.  

After what felt like an age, they made it to the limo, Mel practically collapsing onto the seats, panting with the effort it took to get there. How the hell she’d been going to get the subway home in this state originally was her guess. 

“Have you eaten today?” Val asked. Mel shook her head, even talking felt like too much right now. 

“Okay, we’ll get home, get some food and medicine in you, then sleep, is that okay?” Val asked. Mel nodded again, her head already lolling as he rested it against the cool leather.  

The journey back to Val’s place passed by in a metaphorical and literal blur. Luckily it seemed they were going to one of Val’s places outside the city so less noise and more importantly no long walks. Val was silent next to her but Mel could feel her eyes on her the whole way. She couldn’t tell if they were concerned or judging her. Probably both. 

“I’m not going to die Val,” Mel mumbled. Val gave a breathy laugh beside her, “I’d hope so, it would be really hard to hide your body,” Mel laughed but it soon turned into a hacking cough. She felt Val’s hand awkwardly rub her back. Mel sat up, wiping away spit with the back of her hand. Gross.

They pull up outside Val’s house, well more so mansion but Val would never consider it a mansion. It was a fairly modern build, one of Val’s newer properties since she made the move to New York full time to be closer to the New Avengers. It was square with dark grey bricks, large bay windows and a massive driveway. At least five bedrooms and three bathrooms. Mel had no idea why Val had such huge houses when she lived alone. Guess she had to use that money somehow. Val grabbed a hold of Mel’s hand and guided her up the driveway, the driver, their things in hand, behind them. Val led her to the kitchen, a sleek and modern design complete with inbuilt lighting and all the fancy appliances that Mel couldn’t even name, much less use and had her sit down at the island. After checking that she wasn’t going to keel over she busied herself by getting out pots and pans, settling them gently on the side.

“I’ll fix you up some soup. My mother’s recipe, it always fixed me up when I was ill,” Now that Mel didn’t know. Val never talked about her family, like ever. Mel was sure she’d sooner admit to her crimes in front of a jury than mention her past. Mel waited for Val to elaborate, she didn’t. She decided to take a chance, she already felt like dying, if Val killed her for this then it wouldn’t really matter, “What was she like?” she asked.

Val froze, knife held aloft above the tomatoes she had procured from the fridge. She chopped down with a little more force than necessary, “She was a good woman. Kind, generous, she died when I was eight,”

Mel winced, “I’m so-”

“Don’t be,” Val cut in, her voice strained, “You didn’t know and I make it a point to not let people know,”

Now Mel felt bad for prying, well there was one way she could even the score. “My mom’s in prison,” she muttered. At Val’s silence she continued, “She had a shitty habit of stealing from places, it was little things to start,” Mel remembered the year she got the scientist barbie she had been asking for for her birthday, she’d held it tight and thanked her mother profusely so sure they couldn’t afford it. Her mom had smiled, so happy she’d been able to get it for her. Turns out she’d shoplifted it from the local toy store, along with several other presents over the years. 

Mel scoffed, “Then she stole money from her job at the bank, they didn’t take kindly to that,” that was an understatement. Grand larceny was not something the state of Wyoming took kindly too. Mel had been fourteen at the time watching her mother getting shoved into a police car screaming that it was all a big mistake. It wasn’t, the evidence was overwhelming and she was found guilty pretty damn quick. She got twenty years for that. Mel still hadn’t spoken to her since she was arrested. Her mom had tried to send letters over the years but her dad hadn’t let her read them. After she moved out she just didn’t see much point in talking to her about it, in asking her why she did what she did. She didn’t even think her mom knew why. She clearly had a problem but she had to fix it by herself and Mel did not want to get hurt in the process. 

“I’m sorry,” she heard Val say, her voice a whisper. Mel shrugged, “It's alright, you didn’t know,” she parroted Val’s words back at her and the older women scoffed. She walked over, placing a bowl of soup in front of Mel, it looked amazing, probably smelled amazing too if her nose wasn’t so clogged up. Mel uttered a quiet thank you before picking up a spoon and having a taste. She immediately made a noise not unlike the porn videos she sometimes looked up for “relaxation purposes.”

Val smirked, “That good?” 

Mel nodded, already on her second mouthful.

Val smiled wistfully, "It's been a while since I’ve been able to make that for someone,” Her husband Mel guessed but then again their marriage had never really seemed to be one of true love, at least from the brief glimpses she’d been able to gather through her time with Val. Had she ever made this for him? Did she feel comfortable sharing that part of her life with him? Why did she with Mel? All these questions made her head spin so she stopped thinking about it.

Mel was able to finish half a bowl of soup on her own before popping two Tylenol. It was the night-time variant so it should help her sleep. Val led her through the corridors (only up a short flight of stairs, thank God) to one of the many spare rooms. It was moderately sized with sky blue walls, large windows that looked out over the garden beyond, a small desk perched in the corner and a queen sized bed with cream sheets that almost certainly cost more than anything Mel owned. A pair of black sleep shorts and a vest lay already folded neatly on the spotless sheets, Mel’s bag lay beside them. Mel moaned at the thought of sleep, collapsing face first onto the bed. She heard Val chuckle behind her. 

“Teeth and pyjamas first Mel, then bed,” Mel groaned, lifting herself up. Val left the room while she peeled her sticky clothes from her body, grimacing at the sweat stains on her blouse. Folding them and leaving them on a pile on the nearby desk Mel quickly shucked on the borrowed sleep vest and shorts, sighing at the relief the cool fabric gave her burning skin. They were by far the softest thing she’d ever put on. She spotted a door that led to a guest bathroom. White marble was spread across every surface so clean she could see her reflection in it. The bathroom had a shower and a bath along with a massive vanity that spread from wall to wall with two sinks. The taps had birds engraved into the metal. After brushing her teeth with a borrowed toothbrush, Mel splashed some water on her face, grateful for the cool droplets on her skin.

Emerging from the bathroom feeling a little more human she’s greeted with Val in her sleep robe holding a cold compress, “Hop in,” she gestures to the bed. Mel slips in, moaning at the feel of the sheets. The water soaked cloth is applied to her forehead which immediately helps her temperature drop. Mel moans, her eyes fluttering shut.

“If you need anything, just shout, my bedroom’s just up the hall,” she hears Val say. Mel nods, already slipping into unconsciousness. She feels Val’s fingers lightly tuck her hair behind her ear, Val voice so soft it was like she was speaking a prayer, “Goodnight Melissa,”

“Night Val…” Mel muttered before she slipped off into sleep. 

***

Of course Mel didn’t sleep through the night. 

She was awoken by a tell-tale sign of her stomach roiling, her mouth filling with saliva. Oh no , she thinks as she dashes out of bed determined not to throw up on her boss’s floor. She luckily makes it to the toilet, heaving as the red remnants of her dinner come hurtling up.  Tears fill her eyes as her throat burns. More comes up and Mel has to choke down a sob. She has to be quiet. She can’t wake Val. 

More and more of the soup comes up, surely she couldn’t have eaten that much? with every hurl her throat burns and her eyes sting. Tears come rolling down her cheeks as she gasps for air. She flinches when she feels a hand on her shoulder.

“Oh Mel,” fuck its Val.

“I’m so-” A burst of red bile erupts out of her mouth, spatting into the toilet. 

Val sweeps her hair away from her face, “Shhhh it's alright uccellina, just get it out,” 

Mel nods, breathing heavily before retching again, Val’s fingers dipping into the divots of her back, trying to massage out some of the stress. Mel breathed out, feeling her body succumb to Val’s surprisingly gentle touch. Her stomach was willing to let her rest for a moment so she let her head rest on the porcelain rim, the coolness doing wonders for her flushed face. 

No one had ever stayed with her before. Having Val rub her back and comfort her felt…nice, really nice. 

“Think it's all up?” Val asked.

“Yeah,” Mel mumbled, wincing at how sore her throat was, “Val I’m sorry,”

“What on earth are you apologizing for?” Val asked.

Mel shrugged, “For throwing up?”

Val sighed, exasperated, “Yes Mel, I expect you to not throw up when you literally can’t help it,” she scoffed, “I’m not going to get mad at you over something you can’t control,” her face softened when she caught Mel’s gaze, “Has someone done that to you before?”

Mel looked away but Valentina caught her chin, forcing her to look at her, “Mel, I expect an answer please,” 

Mel worried her lip between her teeth, staying silent for a long time but Val stayed firm, her eyes expectant. Eventually Mel mumbled, “My dad, he would get pissed if I was too loud or made a mess,”

The look in Val’s eyes could have frozen over hell, it was that icy, “He what ?” 

Mel shook her head out of Val’s hold, “It’s okay Val-”

“It is not okay!” Val shouted, Mel wincing as it sent a ricochet of sound through her tender head. Val halted, immediately bringing her volume down, she scooted closer to Mel, gingerly resting her hands on Mel’s arms causing goosebumps to shoot up the younger woman’s body, “Mel, you need to listen to me-” she took a deep breath, “What he did was the furthest thing from okay, do you understand me?” 

Mel didn’t know why this was so important to Val but she found herself nodding, Val breathed out, physically relaxing at her compliance, “Good,” she breathed.

Val stood up, Mel already found herself missing her presence, “You alright to brush your teeth while I grab you a glass of water?” Val asked. Mel nodded, shakily getting to her feet, Val helping her. 

One glass of water and her teeth being brushed later Mel was safely tucked back in bed. As Val turned her back, Mel felt something tug within herself, she didn’t want Val to leave. Snagging Val’s hand Mel whispered, “Stay, please,” before letting go already expecting Val to scoff at the idea or just ignore it. She eyed Val’s back, unable to read her expression, pleasantly surprised when Val walked to the other end of the bed and got in. She turned on her side, facing Mel but keeping some distance between them. Mel, unsure of what to do, as she didn’t foresee her actually getting in the bed with her, turned on her side with a rushed, “Thank you,”

She lay there as still as a statue for a long time until she heard Val’s breaths become even and slow, why was she so nervous? She asked her to stay. But Mel did admit, she felt a lot safer having Val in her bed, safer than she’d felt in years.

Once she was sure Val was asleep, Mel closed her eyes, allowing herself to drift off, the sound of Val’s breathing the sweetest lullaby she’d heard. 

***

It's warm when Mel wakes up. Not the flushed uncomfortable warmth of being ill but a safe, cozy kind of warmth. She snuggled into the pillow beneath her but was mildly concerned when she felt it breathing.

Nonononono.

Her eyes shoot open, Mel realized that she must have shifted in the night because she was currently cuddling her boss. Mel’s face was nestled into her neck and her leg was thrown over her hip. The weirdest thing was that Val had her hand protectively gripping her waist. A reflex while she was sleeping surely right?

Val stirred beneath her and Mel shut her eyes, hoping her boss won’t overreact too much at the sight of her assistant cuddling up to her like a koala. Mel swore she stopped breathing when she felt Val tense up. But then she relaxed, her hand coming up to softly stroke Mel’s hair, “I know you’re awake uccellina,” she whispered. 

Mel sheepishly opened one eye, then the other, “S-”

“If you’re about to apologize for something unnecessary again I am docking your pay,” Val chastised. Mel shut her mouth, her cheeks puffed in annoyance. 

Val chuckled lightly at her before tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, “How are you feeling today darling?” 

Mel felt herself flush at the pet name, “A little better, not all the way there but better,” that was true, just having a bit of sleep did her wonders. Her nose was still blocked, her temperature was all over the place and she felt achy but overall she felt a lot better than she was yesterday. Another day and she’d be alright to go back to-

“Work!” Mel shot up, already looking for her handbag. What time was it? She could see light under the blinds so it had to be past her usual clock in time. She went to scrabble out of bed. Oh fuck she had to call in- a hand on her hers stopped her, gently pulling her back down, “Its alright Mel, I called ahead about an hour ago,” at Mel’s dumbfounded look she said “What? I’m the boss, I said you weren’t feeling well and I was taking some personal days. God only knows I do enough right now,” she rolled her eyes. 

At Mel’s incredulous look she said, “What?”  

“You never take time off,” Mel declared, her voice quiet. It was true, even during the whole potential impeachment saga Val had never been out of the office…or getting rid of evidence but she was still working. Val would sooner die than take voluntary time off.

Val shrugged but she wouldn’t look Mel in the eyes, “Well I couldn’t leave you here on your own, you might burn the house down, "she sniped, although there was none of her usual bite in her tone. 

Mel smiled, “Thank you Val,” she uttered.

Now it was Val’s turn to look sheepish, “It’s alright. Just don’t go making a whole song and dance about it,” 

Mel giggled, then something occurred to her, “So, they had no problem with you calling in on my behalf?”

Val scoffed, “You’re my assistant Mel, of course they didn’t mind,”

“Are you sure they didn’t assume, since you called for both of us, that we were…” at Val’s widening eyes as she slowly began to understand her implications Mel felt herself flush, sputtering, “You’re right they probably just know because I’m with you all the time, not with you with you, just in a completely platonic sense, not in the way that we see each other naked or anything, not that I think you’d look terrible naked but-” with that little excerpt Mel dove under the covers, pulling them over her head as if that would save her from the embarrassment. 

She braced herself for Val kicking her out with a chorus of screaming in Italian but Val just laughed. She felt Val’s hand lightly gripped the covers above her, “It’s alright uccellina, I get what you were trying to say,” with that Mel allowed the covers to be slowly pulled down, Val’s amused face her whole worldview. 

Mel felt her breath catch.

Val was so beautiful.

Even with sleep in her eyes, hair sticking up and clothes rumbled, she looked absolutely gorgeous. And the look she was giving Mel as she stared down at her…Mel had never been to church growing up but it was the closest thing she’d ever seen to reverence. Mel’s eyes flicked down to her lips, as her eyes dashed back to her face she could have swore she caught Val doing the same thing. Mel swallowed, titling her chin upwards. Val dipped her head, her lips were so close, if Mel pushed herself upwards a little more they’d be brushing. Should she-

Rinnnnnggggggg! Rinnnnnnngggg!

Val growled, turning over and grabbing her own phone from where she’d stashed it on the nightstand, “What?” she snapped. 

Mel smiled, slowly sitting up, disappointed but she remembered how fun it was to watch someone else be on the receiving end of Val’s ire. 

“I really don’t give a fuck if they want a pool at the watchtower we don’t have the budget-” Val pinched the bridge of her nose, no doubt imagining some of the New Avengers heads on pikes. Mel giggled, Yelena had been asking for a pool for weeks now, claiming it would build “team morale” when really she just wanted to take advantage of Val’s money. Not that Mel could blame her, it was endearing to watch her fuck with Val. She did sometimes need to be humbled. 

“I don’t care, Josh, just tell them no!” Val hummed, hanging up. Her head fell back against the headboard, “Those fuckers are so not worth the headaches,” 

“Aw, I think they deserve a pool,” Mel jibed, giggling at the glare Val shot her.

“And here I was going to offer to make you breakfast,” Val pouted, swinging her legs off the bed, Mel trying really hard not to look at all the smooth skin on display, she stalked for the door, her movements deliberately slow. 

“Wait breakfast?” Mel asked, her stomach already beginning to rumble.

Val turned, a self-satisfied grin on her face, “Yes breakfast Mel, unless you expect me to let you starve,” Val turned on her heel, opening the door, “are you coming?” she asks.

Mel nods, scrabbling out of bed on thankfully less shaky legs than yesterday and following Val.

Breakfast made for her? She could get used to this.

***

It’s been three days since Mel stumbled through Valentina’s door and she really could get used to this.  

She woke up every morning in satin sheets on the comfiest mattress she’d ever slept on in her life. But the best part of it was being wrapped up in Val’s arms. She’d elected to staying in the same bed as her, no conversation needed, she just did. Mel would never admit this but she loved the feeling of waking up in her arms. She felt…safe, cared for, loved. Things she hadn't really felt in years. 

Val…she was an enigma these past few days. She’d changed Mel’s cold compress for her, made her meals that she made sure Mel ate (Mel had a bad habit of skipping meals), she put up with daytime TV for her, hell she read to her last night when Mel couldn't sleep as the sound of her own snotty breathing kept her awake…Val had been wonderful. In all the time Mel had been her assistant she had never seen this side of her, she knew it must have existed but it had never been shown to her, or anyone really. Val had high walls around herself but it seemed she was comfortable letting Mel in, at least here. Mel swallowed at the looming thought of going back to work soon, she was feeling so much better now it wasn’t like she could hide here in Val’s home forever. But…would things go back to the way they were? Would Val shut her out again in favour of cold professional distance? Mel didn’t really want to think about it. 

So instead, she wandered back to Val’s seemingly favourite place in the house, the kitchen where Val was currently in front of the stove cooking something that smelled amazing. Her back was to Mel. Mel bit her lip as indecision racked through her before finally deciding that if this was going to end she was going to make the most of it. She padded over and enveloped Val in a hug from behind, “Whatcha making?” she asked, perching her head on Val’s shoulder, sleep coating her voice.

Val stilled, Mel, went to pull her arms away but she quickly placed a hand over hers, "pancakes uccellina, seeing as your appetite has come back and I know they’re a particular favourite of yours,” 

Mel blushed, hiding her face in Val’s shoulder. It wasn’t her fault the woman could cook like a God, honestly if they just gave the Void some of Val’s cooking Mel was sure he would have stopped his rampage without the New Avengers help. 

“Go sit down darling, it’ll be done in a minute,” 

Mel shook her head, “Wanna stay up here with you,” she muttered.

Val laughed, Mel was sure she'd never tire of the sound, “Go on, I’ll be over in a minute," she attempted to shrug her off but Mel held firm. She didn’t want to let go. What if this was the last time Val let her touch her? Hold her? Called her stupidly sweet pet names? She couldn’t leave this. She buried her face in Val’s shoulder, holding her even tighter, hot tears swam beneath her eyelids. 

“Mel?” Val asked, worry in her voice. Mel stayed silent. 

Val whirled around, jostling Mel’s head off her shoulder. She kept her eyes shut, knowing if she opened them she’d be crying again and that was the last thing she needed. 

Gentle fingers, lift up her chin. She opens her eyes, staring into Val’s concerned ones, “What’s wrong?”

“I have to go back to work,” Mel mumbled, tears spilling down her cheeks. 

Val stared at her like she had just discovered that the sky was blue, “Yeah, we both have to do that at some point Mel,” her voice was firm but her eyes were kind as she wiped away her tears with her thumbs but they just kept coming. 

“But..” Mel began looking away, already hating how stupid and whiny she sounded. 

Val gently grabbed her chin, turning her to face her, “C’mon, uccellina, you can tell me,”

The kindness, the genuineness in Val’s eyes gave Mel the strength to be open with her, “B-but things will just go back to normal and after all this, I can’t do that Val,”

“Mel..” Val sighed, her face drooping. 

“Don’t.” Mel stepped back, Val’s hands falling away from her face, “I get it, all just a duty of care right?” she spat. 

Val grimaced, almost as if Mel’s words had physically hurt her, “That’s not fair Mel,”

“And this is bullshit!” Mel was a little shocked at herself, Val too from the look of it. In all her years of working under Val she’d never raised her voice to her once.

Val blinked then seemed to reset herself, “Then what do you suggest we do Mel? I’m open to suggestions!” Val argued back.

That stumped Mel for a moment. What could they do? It took her a moment but Mel came to a decision: To be brave and do the one thing she’d wanted to do for ages now, since she had first been hired actually, but had never had the courage to do so, “You finally kiss me,”she declared. 

Val gaze flicked to her lips before her face hardened, “Mel I can’t,”

Mel brows furrowed in annoyance, “Why not? It's clear you want to. What am I not good enough for you?” she added, hearing the hurt bleed into her voice. It was true though. She wasn’t good enough for Val. Val was rich and educated and beautiful and she was just…Mel. Average in every way. She glanced down, shame creeping through her body.

“Mel, look at me,” Valentina commanded. Mel looked up. Val spoke again, her voice deadly serious, like when she told Mel to “torch it all” those months ago, “That is nowhere near close to being true,” there was something in Val’s voice, something desperate. She needed Mel to believe her. 

“Then what is it then?” Mel pleaded. 

Val strode over to one of the cabinets, grabbed a bottle of scotch and poured herself a glass. Mel didn’t think it fair to point out that it was only 9am on a Thursday morning. Val took a hearty shot before topping herself off, “Do you remember our conversation about bad guys and worse guys,” Mel nodded, she remembered that conversation well. It was the conversation where she was sure she was going to get fired, or thrown out a window but Val had just…let her leave, she didn’t shout, didn’t fire her or really blame her. Was she expecting Mel to turn? Or had she just become so used to it from everyone else that one more person didn’t matter. 

Val sipped at her drink, “Well I’m the worst guy. There is no line for me, I will lie, cheat, steal and kill to get what I want and you know that, "Mel opened her mouth to argue that there was more to her than that but Val held up her hand for silence, “Everyone I have ever lov-cared about has either died or left me and whose fault was that? "she pointed to herself, “Mine. I refuse to ruin you, especially after I’ve already hurt you enough,” There was a noticeable tremble in Val’s voice when she finished. 

“I’m still here,” Mel uttered, her voice quiet but by no means less desperate. 

“Yeah, and I have no idea why after everything I’ve done to you,” Val scoffed. 

There was a long pause. Even Mel wasn’t sure why she stayed with Val sometimes, the pay was great but not worth staying over, the hours were long and tiring, she was constantly doing PR control-but despite everything Val had done, Mel couldn’t find it in herself to be away from her. The mere thought of not getting her coffee every day felt wrong . The thought of not hearing her voice or simply being in her presence made Mel ache.  

Val swallowed, placing her drink down, “You know when Robert had me by the neck I wasn’t afraid. I’d long accepted death as part of the game I play and it just so happened that my time was up,” she smiled sardonically, shaking her head,  “Then I saw you behind him, kill switch in hand shaking like a fucking baby deer,” She swallowed and Mel was shocked to see tears in her eyes, “I knew if it didn’t work he would go for you and that terrified me Mel. I don’t-I don’t want to lose you,”

Mel stepped towards her, “You won’t Val,”

Val stepped back, “And what happens when I lash out, hurt you, ruin you because I don’t know how to do this,”

“This?” Mel asked. 

“Do I really need to spell it out for you Mel?” At Mel’s incredulous look she sighed, “being with someone I like,”

“What about your ex-husband?”

Val rolled her eyes, “Mel, that was strictly a marriage of convenience brought on by years of repression and wanting to make a dead man proud. I didn’t like the man as much as I tolerated his presence,”

She gestured towards herself and Mel, “ This is real and I don’t know how to navigate it and I always know how to navigate things,” 

“Then I’ll teach you,” Mel said, stepping towards her, “Val, you’re already pretty good at it, I mean your the first person to take care of me, no one has ever cared for me like that-,”

Val stepped back again, her back hitting the counter, “So you shouldn’t be with the first person who does, you deserve so much better Mel, better than I can give-”

“Let me finish please,” Mel stepped forward, effectively pinning Val, Val grasped the counter behind her, “If you're so irredeemable, so evil, why look after me in the first place? Why not just let me suffer on my own?”

Val swallowed, "Because you needed me,”

“And?” Mel asks. She needed to hear it, needed to know that this wasn’t some perfect, hopeful dream. 

“And I care about you…more than I should,” Val raised her hand, it hovered above Mel’s cheek, trembling, almost as if Val was afraid that by touching her she’d spoil something within her. 

“I care for you too Val,” Mel whispered, feeling an enormous weight lifting off her shoulders at her admission. Her tears suddenly returned in full force when she remembered the confrontation with Bob, “I was scared too you know? When I saw Bob with his hand around your neck I thought-”

Val hand was on immediately on her cheek, rubbing soothing circles into her skin. She learnt forward, their foreheads meeting,  “Shhh, sweet girl, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere,”

Mel nuzzled into her hand, “Neither am I,”  

There was silence for a moment. It was a quiet, fragile thing, born of uncertainty and fear but the devotion the two women had for each other was enough to keep it peaceful. For a while they were both content to bask in each other's presence. To finally allow themselves to relax fully at each other's touch.  

“Can I kiss you?” Mel finally asked, her breath ghosting Val’s lips.

Val chuckled, her other hand coming to rest on Mel’s face, “Uccellina, I was hoping you’d ask,”

With permission granted, Mel pressed her lips to Val’s. It was a little rushed and desperate on her end as she worried that if she left it long enough Val would change her mind. Val smiled into the kiss, her hands reaching behind Mel to lightly claw along her back. Mel moaned at the delicious sensation of Val’s nails leaving marks on her. Before she could think Val had turned them around so she could gently press her into the counter. Mel gripped her shoulders, pulling her in. No matter how close she got it didn’t feel enough, she needed to feel every inch of her. Mel whined as she felt Val’s knee press between her legs. God she was sorely tempted to just grind down on it. She felt Val smirk against her mouth, almost as if she could tell what kind of predicament she was in as pressed her knee just a bit harder into her pyjama shorts. 

Just as Mel was about to say fuck it and grind her hips down they were interrupted by the smell of something burning and the high pitched whine of the smoke alarm going off. 

Breakfast was burning. 

***

Both Val and Mel did turn up for work the next day, Mel a lot better than she had been a few days ago. It wasn’t unusual that they arrived in the same car but what was was that Val and Mel were holding hands, and that Mel was sporting some fresh hickeys on her neck.

What was even more unusual was that both of them were smiling as they came into work. Mel smiling wasn’t new, the girl was the equivalent of a cartoon character sometimes. Val never smiled at work, of anything a lot of people were convinced she simply was incapable of smiling at all. 

But everyone knew not to mention it. 

They valued their lives.