Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1- A Random Meeting

It is a small city, with wonderful people living wonderful lives. But then everything changed when the fire nation attacked… Wait, this is the wrong script. Here we go, found it.

The city is so small, that there couldn’t be more than 5 buildings. There is an old man who lives in this “city” that has an important job. His is a job that determines between life and death. Without him, the entire universe would be doomed. He… teaches kids how to catch Pokemon.

He sips from his cup of coffee and scratches his balding head. He stands at the edge of the city, waiting. He stretches and cracks his back before slightly slouching again. He paces, waiting for his moment. As a young man approaches, the old man moves to talk with him.

“Are you in a hurry?” As the old man tries to talk to him, the boy pushes past the old man, ignoring the inquiry. The old man does not have time to react before he freezes. His form fuzzes for a moment, before blinking out of existence. He is no more, and the young man continues on, unphased.

Off the eastern coast of an island south of the city, a crack appears.

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Cassandra is finally starting her journey. Before her, the tall grass of Route 1 billows in the breeze. She grips the strap of her large shoulder bag to stop the trembling. Many kids from Pallet Town start their journeys at a much younger age, but her mother wanted her to wait until she turned 16. And today is that day. She thinks back on the past 24 hours that led up to this moment.

She had begun yesterday by receiving a Bulbasaur from Professor Oak. Her mom took some time to give her advice, even though she wouldn’t leave until the next day. She spent the rest of the day wandering the grassy areas, leveling up Bulby. Dozens of Pidgeys and Rattatas later, she returned home. She enjoyed a final dinner with her parents, and headed to bed.

This morning, she woke up much later than she expected to. The weather was just starting to warm up, so she put on shorts and a green t-shirt. She braided her hair and ran downstairs for one last goodbye. Her mother kept thinking of new (and sometimes repeated) advice to give, while her father just gave her a thumbs up. She gave them both a hug, grabbed her bag, put on her sneakers, and officially left home for the first time.

She takes a deep breath and lets it out again. She enters the tall grass that she spent so much time in the day before. But unlike yesterday, her goal is not the first couple of feet. Beyond the field is her first opponent. She beats him with ease. She moves on from her first victory, determined to keep it up. Nothing will stop her on her journey to become the best.

Unfortunately for Cassandra, she has no clue what lies ahead. No, seriously. NOOOOOOO idea!

Her eyes meet with another young boy and the fight begins. Cassandra throws her pokeball, “Go, Bulby!” Her Bulbasaur enters an attack stance, ready to fight as soon as his opponent is chosen.

Youngster #*&$$^ sends out a Ratatatatata!!!!!!!! It has pieces floating around, and hisses out of both heads.

...Cassandra and Bulby do not react. Not that they weren’t ready, but they had no response to such a predicament. Ratatatatata!!!!!!!!, on the other hand, rushes Bulby. He tackles Bulby and scratches with a non-existent claw.

Cassandra finally shakes it off. “Bulby, use Leech Seed!”

“Ratatatatata!!!!!!!!, use super special awesome chocolatey fudge coated super breath!”

A green mist erupts from both mouths, covering Bulby. Bulby cries out as he starts to glitch, his form shifting in places. Cassandra, still unable to comprehend what is happening, can only reach for her pokemon.

A glowing man flies past her and attacks feet first into Ratatatatata!!!!!!!!. His kick sends it flying into the trainer. They fall to the ground, and lie limp.

And then explode.

The man stands up and wipes the sweat off his brow. “Wow, using Mega Punch is really hard.” He looks at Cassandra and waits. She just stands there, arm still outstretched. “The joke’s not as fun if you don’t react.” He pouts.

“Who? What? ...Who?” Cassandra holds her head.

“Don’t worry, you have many questions, and I have none of the answers. So ask away!” He turns and watches her run away.

She is freaking out. Nothing's making sense anymore. ‘It must be a dream. It has to be a dream. If it isn’t, then what is going to happen next?’

“Next, you let me explain.” Keeping up alongside her is the man, riding a moped. He gives her a big grin and a thumbs up.

And she runs away again. Taking off to the left, she attempts to out-maneuver him, but he catches up, now in a wheelchair. She runs at a small cliff, reversing direction at the last moment. Just as she planned, the wheelchair falls off the edge, but the man isn’t in it. Instead, he is alongside Cassandra… On a vacuum.

Cassandra stops. “Who ARE you?”

The man smiles. “I’m Missingno.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 2- A Random Missingno

“What kind of name is Missingno?” Cassandra raises an eyebrow.

“Not a random one, I can tell you that. Or is it? What were the programmers thinking? Doesn’t matter. It’s nice to meet you, Cassandra.”

“How do you know my name?” Cassandra backs away.

“I just read it in the narrations.” Missingno looks at the empty space next to him and talks to the narrator. “Thanks, bro.”

You’re welcome.

“What?”

“Nothing. Right now, I need a small favor.”

“What do you want?”

“I need you to drop your entire life and travel with me on my MUCH more important mission.”

“Um… No.” Cassandra walks away, but doesn’t go more than 5 feet when a giant Lapras appears on the horizon. She turns back to Missingno. “Do you know what is going on?”

“Glitches.”

“... I’m going to need a little more than that.”

“Alright, are you ready for the entire world building backstory? In the beginning, there was a pokemon named…”

Missingno, you probably shouldn’t reveal everything at once. Readers like to learn a little at a time.

“That’s true. Alright, smaller story.” Cassandra raises an eyebrow again as Missingno finishes talking to thin air. “I am a glitch. And all across Kanto, glitches are appearing left and right. But the only thing that can kill a glitch is another glitch. So, I must go on an epic heroic journey to right the many wrongs!”

“Good luck with that.”

“Wait, don’t leave!” Missingno rides up on his vacuum.

Cassandra knits her eyebrows. “You can do that whole hero thing yourself, right?”

“Yeah, but it’s not as much fun without a foil character.”

Cassandra walks faster.

She looks to her left to see Missingno still following on the vacuum, but he is now riding upside down, floating in the air.

“How are you doing that?”

Missingno shrugs. “I do what I want.”

“And when those two blew up, was that you too?”

“You bet!”

She points at the giant Lapras.

Missingno’s gaze shifts to the right. “Maybe.”

Cassandra sighs, and Missingno gets off the vacuum. “Cassandra, this isn’t a simple matter. I’m the only glitch left who can fight off these others. You’ve seen what they are like. And… Uh… oh, I’m both a glitch and a pokemon, so I can’t do anything without a trainer.”

“Then find someone else.”

“Every moment I waste is another person in danger of death, or worse.” His face scrunches up and ruffles his short hair. “I’ll tell you what, when I find someone else, you can leave. But until then, I need your help. Also, I need you to hold this chicken.” He holds up a Pidgey.

Cassandra relaxes. “Fine. I give up.”

“So you’ll hold the alligator?”

“No, I will not hold the Pidgey. What even is an alligator?”

“Sorry Joe, she said no.”

“That’s okay.” The Pidgey takes off.

“Now then, ONWARD.”

Cassandra shakes her head, feeling like she will regret this decision.

“She probably will.”

And she hasn’t even figured out all the things that will happen next chapter.

“Yeah, but that won’t be posted for a whole week, so it can wait until then.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 3 - A Random Glitch

As Cassandra watches Missingno skip wildly, she tries to figure him out. ‘He said he was a Pokemon, but he looks like a normal human. He is around his late teens, his hair is a normal shade of light brown and he doesn’t have a crazy hairstyle. He doesn’t have claws, a tail, or extra limbs. The only thing abnormal would probably be his fashion sense. And even then, the colors are just a mash of blacks and whites that aren’t unappealing.’ She sighs as she understands that she can’t understand.

“We’re almost to Viridian City! But I don’t understand why they call it ‘city’. It was only designed with like, 5 buildings.”

That’s what I said in chapter 1.

“True, but that was like, 2 whole chapters ago. And I wasn’t even introduced at that point.”

“What are you talking about?” Cassandra raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t worry about it. Before we get there, I wanted to give you something.”

Cassandra backs up, her face frozen.

“It’s nothing dangerous. Just a hat.” Missingno holds up a red baseball hat with a brim and a white front. It looks completely normal.

So Cassandra backs up even more. She has seen enough of Missingno to know that nothing is ever normal.

“Look, I don’t do Pokeballs, so this is what will connect me to you. That’s it.”

Cassandra hesitates, but eventually takes the hat. It fits perfectly.

And then her bag erupts into flames.

Cassandra screams and throws her bag on the ground. “MISSINGNO!”

“Technically, that is not the hat’s fault. When I connect to people, glitchy side effects happen. In this case, all empty Pokeballs you have will instantly light on fire.”

Sure enough, Cassandra dumps the Pokeballs out of her bag, and the fire goes with them. “So, I can’t have empty Pokeballs?”

“Yes.”

“How will I catch Pokemon?”

“Yes.”

“I hate you.”

“Yes.”

“Well, at least I have Bulby… Why is he a Weedle?” Inside of the Pokeball, even the Weedle is surprised.

“Not me. That is from the Ratatatatatasomethingoranother.”

“Whatever. Let’s just go.”

She is already starting to just accept anything you do. Better step up your game, Missingno.

“Hey Missingno, do you think there will be a glitch in Viridian City?”

“Oh, definitely. But don’t worry, whatever it is, I will take it down with this!” Missingno holds up a rocket launcher.

Cassandra keeps walking.

Wow, she really is accepting anything. This looks like it will be a challenge.

“I accept this challenge!”

“You coming or what?”

They arrive at Viridian City, where all seems normal. A few people are wandering, going about their lives. A breeze sweeps across the short grass, and the sun reflects majestically across the pond.

“Don’t forget about how the Pokemon Academy is in pieces.” Missingno points to one of the five buildings, which has collapsed into a pile of splinters. In front of what used to be the door, a man stands laughing. His head is shaved, and a blue semi-circle is tattooed along his forehead and around the sides.

“Who is that?” Cassandra looks at Missingno and jabs a thumb at the man.

“I don’t know, I just got here. What, do you think that all glitches know each other?” Missingno crosses his arms and tosses his head defiantly.

“That’s racist. Or, glitchist?” The man interjects.

“Exactly. Who are you, by the way?” Missingno turns to the man and rests his rocket launcher on his shoulder.

“Me? I am the avatar, the last of the statusbenders! I was trapped in a prison of ice-type pokemon, but I have been released. Now I will fight against the fire-type nation to once again bring peace to the world!” The man raises a hand above his head and poses.

Missingno raises an eyebrow. “Wow. First Yugioh abridged, now The Last Airbender, does this writer have NO original ideas?”

Be careful Missingno. Never anger the writers.

“What is the writer going to do, take away my rocket launcherohmyhelixfossilhetookawaymyrocketlauncher.” Missingno’s smirk gives way as he looks at his empty hands. He points at the man. “You! You did this to me!”

“What did I do?”

Cassandra pushes her way into the conversation. “Well for one thing, you destroyed that building.” Missingno and the man stare at her. “What?”

“We totally forgot you were here too.” They state in unison.

Cassandra clenches her fists and jaw.

The man enters a fighting stance. “I’m gonna guess that you are here to kill me.”

“Actually, I was thinking of sharing some tea, maybe playing some b-ball, but if you want to…” Missingno prepares himself.

There is an intense moment of friction that passes between the two before Missingno breaks it. “By the way, is that a croissant on your head?”

“No, it is obviously a bow.”

“... Looks like a tattoo from here.”

“Not that kind of bow.”

Cassandra tilts her head. “So, like the bo staff?”

Missingno laughs. “No, he is spelling bow with a w. I think that he got it, assuming everyone would think first of a bow and arrow. But it just looks ridiculous.”

And then the man falls over, asleep.

“... Did you do that?”

“Missingno, do I look like I can do something like that?”

“Maybe you already taught your Bulbasaur Sleep Powder.”

Cassandra holds up her Pokeball, and her Weedle wiggles happily.

“Right.”

The man speaks between snores. “I did this... myself…. This is... one of… my best… statusbending… techniques,… sleepbending.”

“Wow, this is annoying. Shorten your explanation.”

“As I… sleep,... so will… you.” From where he lay, purple rings of mist creep outwards. As it passes through a nearby Pidgey, it falls asleep. The mist continues toward Missingno unhindered.

Missingno stoops down and picks up a rock. He winds up and throws it at the man’s head, who jolts awake. The waves dissipate as soon as the man is conscious.

“Earthbending!”

Chapter Text

Chapter 4- A Random Fight

“I don’t know how you managed to defeat my sleepbending, but don’t think that I’m out of options yet.”

“This would be a short chapter if you were.”

Sparks fly as the two stare each other down. Cassandra decides to skip the fight, and heads to the Pokemart.

“Face my burnbending!” Flames erupt from the man’s hands.

“... So, firebending?”

The man hesitates. “What? No, it’s… different… I think. Whatever, can you stop it?”

“Man, fire is hard to deal with. If only I could do… this!” Missingno whips out a bottle of bubbles and removes the wand.

Missingno used Bubblebeam!

...But, it failed!

His face turns red as he struggles to blow a bubble. After many failed attempts, he throws it aside and spits on the fire.

“I’M MELTING!!!!!!” The fire screams out as it shrinks. Once it disappears, Missingno gives two thumbs up.

“Waterbending!”

“Ha, burnbending is one of my weaker attacks. Tremble in fear of the terror that is poisonbending!” A black gas forms around the man, floating forward.

Missingno pulls out a leaf blower. He begins speaking in monotone. “Oh no. Whatever shall I-” He turns it on, blasting the cloud away and distorting the man’s face with the wind.

Missingno turns it off. “If only I had AIRBENDING!”

“I see that you have many complex techniques based on the ancient arts.”

Cassandra looks at him quizzingly. “Are you sure about that?” She had finished stocking up at the Pokemart, and came back to check on the fight.

“But… does the cold bother you anyways?” The ground ices over at his feet. The ice crawls along the ground, freezing everything in its path. The now burned and poisoned Pidgey finally wakes up only to be frozen.

“Freezebending, huh? Let me show you what real firebending looks like!” Missingno lifts up two flamethrowers and lets loose. After a few minutes of maniacal laughter, Cassandra points something out to him.

“You do know that the ice is the other way, right?”

Missingno turns around to look at the man. He walks to the massive fire he created, picks it up, and throws it at the ice.

The man jumps through the flames, landing heroically. “You can’t defeat a master statusbender! Especially after I pull out my secret weapon!”

“A gun?”

The man looks at him confused. “What? No, logically speaking, next would be…”

“Chocolatebending?”

Cassandra shakes her head. “Asking Missingno to be logical is not the best idea.”

“Well, there is no way you can stop my paralysisbending. With this technique, I have defeated armies, massacred nations, conquered planets! ALL WILL DIE!” Jolts of electricity run up and down his arm as he laughs uncontrollably.

“You should really check your left.”

The man stops and looks to the side, where a second Missingno is winding up a punch. With a loud ‘pow’, he sends the man flying.

The new Missingno just says one word in a calm, deep voice. “Fistbending.”

“WHAT THE HECK?!” Cassandra looks back and forth between the two Missingnos, beyond confused.

“Yes! I finally got her to react!” The old Missingno raises his hands above his head, a ridiculous grin on his face.

“So did I!” The new Missingno runs up and gives him a high five, which sends him flying into the distance.

“And then there was one.” Cassandra gives up again. “The glitch is gone, right?”

“Probably.”

“Cool, time to move on to the next city.”

“Wait! There’s something I’m missing here.” He rubs his chin. “What could it be?” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a building. He slams it down on the splinters of the old Pokemon Academy, and it gleams with a new coat of wax.

“I swear, there was something I was going to do. I can’t put my finger on it, but…” He uses one finger to lean against the building, while continuing to rub his chin.

Cassandra shakes her head again, but this time there is a small smile. “Come on.”

Missingno hums as they leave. At the city limits, Missingno stops and views a spot of grass that is illuminated by the scarlet light of the setting sun. The wind rustles the trees of the nearby grove and tickles. He stoops down and lightly brushes the grass. In a soft voice, he whispers “Thank you, Old Man. Goodbye.”

“You coming, Missingno?” Cassandra waits for him, hands on hips.

“You bet!” With this, he officially leaves behind his old life and heads out for a new adventure.

Full of randomness.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5- A Random Conversation

“Missingno, explain something to me.”

Cassandra stares sharply at Missingno across the fire she started. The glow from the fire reflects the fire in her eyes as she questions him.

“Today, I went to the Pokemart to stock up. While there, I decided to ask around if anyone wanted to replace me as your trainer.”

Missingno clutches his heart and places the other one against his forehead. “You wanted to get rid of me?”

“Yes.”

Missingno sobs, pulls out a handkerchief to wipe away the tears, and then uses a bottle of eyedrops to replace them before wailing some more.

She throws a stick at him before continuing. “But there was one problem. No one understood what I was talking about. Even when I asked them when the glitch first appeared, they didn’t seem to comprehend.”

“They acted as if he was always there, right?”

“Yeah! What was with that?”

Missingno sat down on a log by the fire. “Trust me, these glitches are new. But the power of a glitch causes everyone around it to believe that it is something that has always existed. It creates memories for them. That is what makes it so dangerous- the fact that no one will try and stop it.”

“Then why don’t I think that?”

“Because you have me!” Missingno says in a high pitched voice and smiles. After a long, piercing stare from Cassandra, he continues. “Because you are connected to me, you enter the domain of glitches. Now you can see them for what they are.”

“Hm.” She stares into the fire, her mind in her own world.

Her Weedle crawls forward and adds some sticks to the fire. Although a fraction of its original size, he still is able to carry sticks as big as he is.

“Alright! Top shelf, bro!” Missingno holds out his fist and the Weedle jumps up and headbutts it. Missingno screams and runs around the camp, clutching his pierced, bloody fist.

“Thanks… guess I can’t call you Bulby anymore, huh?” She chuckles. “I think I’ll call you Weedy. What do you think?”

Being a Weedle, he has no mouth, but he moves his head back and forth like a pendulum to show his excitement.

“Bulby? Weedy? Nice naming sense you have there.” Missingno’s comment prompts another stick to be thrown, this one on fire. He opens up his mouth wider than humanly possible and swallows the stick whole.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m tired. I’m going to… Missingno?” Cassandra stops as she looks through her bag.

“Hmm?” Missingno looks up, chewing on another aflame stick.

“Where is my tent?”

“Your what?”

“My tent. It is a portable sized shelter, blue and green, barely weighs a thing, was in my bag this morning…”

“Oh, that… Oh. That.” The stick drops from his mouth as his eyes go wide. “I got rid of it.”

“You. WHAT?”

“Well, your bag isn’t that big, and I needed more room for snacks.”

Cassandra pulls out handfuls of chips and glares at Missingno.

“N-now, now. Let’s not get too hasty. Just put down the knife, and we’ll talk it over.”

“Knife? I don’t have a…” Her head jerks back as she sees the knife now in her hand.

Missingno falls to his knees. “Please. Please don’t hurt me.”

“Missingno, are you trying to be so random, that I will give up and move on?”

His gaze shifts to the right. “No.”

She lifts the knife above her head. “Cause it’s not working.”

“Waitwaitwaitwait.” His eyes search the ground vigorously. “Here, you can use this.” He hands her a stick.

She glares at him. “Use a stick… as a tent?”

“What? No. As a tent. Ha. You use it to get your tent.”

“By doing what, throwing it at the past you before you switched it out?”

“That… is a good idea, but no. It’s for this.” He throws the stick at a nearby tree, and out of the tree falls Cassandra’s tent.

“... Did you put it there?”

Missingno shrugs, and Cassandra sighs. She pitches the tent and puts out the fire. “Come on, Weedy. Let’s let the weird man have fun out here by himself.”

“Wait. You can’t leave me. It’s cold outside.” Instantly the temperature drops and icicles form on his nose as his teeth chatter.

“Well then, ask your chips to keep you warm.”

She zips up the tent, and Missingno looks down at his chips.

“...Will you keep me warm?”

Chapter Text

Chapter 6- A Random Morning

Cassandra wakes up, and half hopes that the lunatic from yesterday never existed, or at least was no longer outside. She zipped open the tent and pops her head out to look. Missingno is lying on the ground, wrapped in a quilt made of patched together potato chip bags.

“... What are you doing?”

He speaks in a high pitched voice. “I sleep in these wrappers and I wrap myself up like a little old homeless lady.”

“I… have no idea what you are saying.”

He flings it off, ready for the day. “That’s okay! Let’s go!”

“... No.” She returns to her tent.

She reappears again after a while, this time dressed and ready. Missingno is still standing in the exact same place and pose as before. She sighs and shakes her head. “Come on, Weedy.”

After eating breakfast, taking care of the coals from last night, braiding her hair, and packing up, Cassandra picks up her bag and motions to Weedy. “Let’s go.”

Missingno finally moves from the frozen position. “Alright!”

Cassandra sighs as they continue on Route 2. Missingno cartwheels alongside, laughing hysterically. They walk by a certain scraggy looking tree that has plenty of space to pass by on either side.

“And yet, they say you can’t pass by without Cut.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow, but her attention quickly changes as she notices the giant figure in the background. To the east, a massive Diglett stares back at her.

“... DIGLETT!”

She shakes her head and quickens her step.

Pretty soon they reach the entrance to Viridian Forest. There, they find a massive amount of people running and screaming.

Cassandra stops a woman running with her baby. “What is happening?”

“A monster! A monster is destroying the forest!”

Cassandra glares at Missingno.

“Not me. This time.”

The woman screams and points at the entrance to Viridian Forest, where a tree flies through the air. Her hand is trembling, and her eyes are almost open too wide.

“Should I try less, then?” The woman asks.

“What?” Cassandra raises an eyebrow at her.

“Nothing Cassandra.” The woman turns to leave, and does a double take. “I mean, young random girl I have never met before...”

The woman screams again and runs away, her black and white checkered dress billowing with each panicked step. Cassandra, on the other hand, turns to the entrance and takes a deep breath. Inside could be anything imaginable. And with Missingno, the unimaginable is viable as well.

She prepares herself, and opens the doors. What she sees is… almost unreasonable? It is hard to tell after a few hours with Missingno.

The monster resides in the shade as it rips out a tree and uses it to beat another tree. It roars with the fierceness that comes from a lifetime of pain. It locks eyes with Cassandra, and walks into the light. Its tough, purple skin accented the multiple long spikes along its body. It is a Nidoking.

… A level 1 Nidoking.

Cassandra scrunches her face, trying to both comprehend and ignore it. She turns to Missingno.

“Hey! I said it wasn’t me!”

“Okay, but are you going to do something about it?”

“Oh, right. Go Weedy!”

“Why are you using MY pokemon?!”

“... Because my pokemon are all at 1 health.”

“What pokemon?”

“Weedy, use Poison Sting!”

Weedy poured power into the tip of his horn. He felt the power shift into a poison element and form into a cone. He arches back and takes aim at his opponent’s heart.

Wild Nidoking used Thrash!

Weedy fainted!

Chapter Text

Chapter 7- A Random Smash

The Nidoking lay on the ground, convulsing wildly.

Cassandra and Missingno watch in silence. Missingno finally breaks it. “... I think he is having a seizure.”

“So, what do we do?”

“... Wait for him to stop, I guess.”

After a couple minutes, the Nidoking stops and gets up. Underneath it, crushed into the dirt, is Weedy.

“NO! STEVEN!”

“Weedy.”

“WEEDY! Don’t worry, I will fix you!” Missingno reaches into Cassandra’s bag and pulls out a yellow crystal.

“What is that?”

“This is called a Revive. It can be used to-”

Cassandra cuts him off. “I know what it is, but what was it doing in my bag?” Her stare stabs at him.

“I put it there.” He countered with a blank stare.

Still staring at Cassandra, he throws the Revive at Weedy.

Weedy was revived!

“Ha, joke’s on you. Now he has TWO horns.” Missingno lifted his chin and smiled.

Wild Nidoking used Thrash!

Weedy fainted!

When the Nidoking stops convulsing and gets up, Missingno throws another Revive.

Weedy was revived!

“Time to put my ultimate plan into action. Weedy, use String-”

Wild Nidoking used Thrash!

Weedy fainted!

Missingno purses his lips till they are blue. He shakes violently, raises his fists and clenches them, and some massive veins pop out of his head. Let’s just say he is not happy.

“No, I am not.” Missingno prepares to throw another revive, but Cassandra grabs his arm.

“Will you stop torturing my pokemon?” Although it was phrased as a question, the fire in her eyes spoke otherwise.

“... Sorry.” He picks up Weedy and uses the Revive on him. He then hands him to Cassandra.

“Thanks. So what will you do now?” Cassandra watches Weedy crawl up her arm and rest on her shoulder.

“The only thing I can do in this instance… Grovel to the writer.” Missingno kneels down and speaks to an empty space. “I’m really sorry about what I said yesterday. I am really enjoying this story, it’s funny and adventurous, and it’s a pokemon fanfic, so that just makes it amazing to begin with.” After many such praises, a rocket launcher appears in his hands. “Hurray! It worked!”

“Should I even ask what it is you did?”

“Nah.” He lifts the rocket launcher and fires at the Nidoking.

The Nidoking crosses its arms in front of its face, blocking the explosion. Missingno lifts up a second rocket launcher and fires both again. The Nidoking slides back a few inches, but is unhurt.

“Good thing I brought my homemade custom rocket launcher.”

He says ‘custom’, but it really is just a dozen different rocket launchers stuck together with duct tape and chewing gum.

“Whatever!” Missingno pulls the trigger, and the rockets fire one by one in quick succession. When the dust settles, Missingno drops both his rocket launcher and his jaw.

The Nidoking is unaffected. Even worse, it is now bigger with more spikes. Its eyes flicker, and charges. It rams Missingno, sending him flying into the foliage of a tree. It rages towards Cassandra, who is frozen.

She grips her bag as the hairs on her arms stand on end. She feels her hands get clammy, and notices that she has stopped breathing. The bulking monster of a pokemon is practically on top of her, and her mind still is not working. She can’t even seem to scream. With mere seconds to react, her fight or flight instinct kicks in.

She chooses fight.

She clenches her bag tighter, and spins. With a perfectly timed swing, she smashes the Nidoking with her bag, sending it flying into the distance.

Missingno blows a whistle and lifts his arms straight up. “It’s good!”

His comment shakes Cassandra out of her confusion. “W-what?”

“You beat it! Don’t even know your own strength, huh? I guess this was a… smashing success.” He laughs at his own horrible pun.

“Weren’t you just in a tree?”

“Oh, right.” He walks up to the same tree and jumps into the same place, feet sticking straight out.

Next to him in the tree, a Weedle is sticking out as well. Cassandra checks out her shoulder, and finds out that Weedy is gone. She figures that he flew off when she spun. She picks up a stick and throws it at the tree. Missingno falls out, landing face down. He sits up, and Cassandra’s tent falls out as well, landing in his lap.

She tilts her head and points at it. “Wait, when did my tent get in the tree?”

Missingno shrugs. She tries to glare at him, but Weedy falls, landing spikefirst onto Missingno’s head. Missingno screams and runs around the forest, blood splurting from his skull.

Cassandra shakes her head and walks toward Missingno to retrieve her pokemon.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8- A Random Bullet

“I heard that Viridian Forest can be long, with lots of grass and lots of pokemon.” Cassandra stares daggers into Missingno’s head.

“Y-yeah. That is true.”

“So when I spent all my money stocking up on Potions and Antidotes so that I wouldn’t have to return to Viridian City, that was all for nothing?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do I mean? I’m talking about the path you just blew through the trees.”

The tree trunks have been pushed aside, creating a tunnel straight to the exit. The trees still billow in the wind, as if they were always this way. The pokemon pay no attention, and pass by as normal.

“Look at it this way…”

“... I’m waiting.” Cassandra starts tapping her foot.

“Give me a second. I’m trying to make up some sort of believable excuse.”

Cassandra shakes her head. “Won’t people be mad at us for this?”

“That’s the best part! I’m a glitch, so no one questions anything. Remember?” He starts walking down his homemade path.

“You did say that.” As she follows him, she watches the sky, deep in thought. Suddenly, she perks up. “Wait, then what about the people out front? They were running away. Why were they scared?”

“Oh, those were me.”

“... What do you mean, those were you?”

“Well, I’m trying out for a position in the musical, Random People Running and Screaming. It is sure to be a hit, so I’m practicing.”

“So that woman and her baby?”

“That was me.”

“Which one?”

“Both of them. I’m pretty good, right?”

Cassandra sighs again, smiling when they see the exit.

Pewter City, while it has more buildings, still is better described as a type of town with winding roads and several gardens. The people go about their business, unaware of the danger before them.

“... Thank goodness, there’s nothing here.” Cassandra lets out the breath she was holding.

“What do you mean?”

“I thought that there would be a glitch here too. I’m just glad that everything is normal.”

“Normal? You call hoards of Aerodactyls circling the city normal?”

High above the city, it seemed as if dozens of blurs of grey and purple were twirling around in the sky, circling for prey.

“... Crap.” Her shoulders slump. “So… are you going to use the rocket launcher?”

“Cassandra, please.” He shoulders a sniper rifle. “This is WAY more fun.”

He aims down the barrel, ready to take them down one by one. “Let’s see. According to my stats, I have a 99% chance of hitting the head, a 99.99% chance of shooting the body, a 99.9999999% chance of clipping a wing, and 0.0000000000000000000001% chance if I aim for the tail.”

“... So, you ARE going to shoot at the head, right?”

Missingno fires off a shot, and all of them explode. A charred lump falls out of the fire into the horizon, and when the smoke clears nothing else is left.

“Dang.” Missingno shoulders the gun again. “Don’t you hate it when you try to shoot one person in the tail, and instead your bullet splits and ends up shooting everyone in the head.… And then they explode.”

“What’s with you and blowing things up?”

“I’m a guy. We like explosions.”

Yes we do.

“See. Someone agrees with me.”

“What?” Cassandra raises an eyebrow.

“Nothing. Didn’t we come here to fight a gym leader or something?”

“What about that thing that fell from the explosion? Don’t you have to finish that off?”

Missingno shrugs. He runs off, laughing and switching directions sporadically.

She sighs and walks after him.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9- A Random Realization

“Hey-yo~!” Missingno yells as he bursts through the wall.

Cassandra stands outside, her eyes getting wide.

“Come on. This is the point where you say, ‘Missingno, you do know there is a door, right?’ or something like that.”

“Missingno, I just realized something.”

“What’s that?” His grin grows as he bounces slightly. 

“I haven’t had a pokemon battle since I met you.” 

Missingno’s expression and body freezes mid-bounce. 

“Which means Weedy is seriously under-leveled, and I don’t even know how to fight with him.” 

“Oh, in that case, there’s no problem.” 

“No, there is most definitely a problem. How do you expect me to even beat one of the simple trainers, let alone the gym leader?” 

“Pshah. Weedy is a glitch now. Just tell him to do whatever. I can guarantee that he’ll beat any ordinary pokemon in unordinary ways. AND no one will care.” 

“But isn’t that kinda unfair?” 

“Says the person who can’t have more than one pokemon.” 

“And whose fault is that?” 

“Says the person who didn’t take any time to train in Viridian Forest.” 

“Again, whose fault is that?” 

“... So, we ARE going to fight the gym leader immediately… right?” 

Cassandra sighs. “Fine.” 

“YAY!” More sporadic running.

She walks over to the door and enters the gym. Rough, jagged rocks line the walls in a pattern meant to intimidate new trainers.  As a rock-type gym, Weedy will be at a disadvantage, but it is true that the fact that he is a glitch helps. But Cassandra wonders if it will be enough to beat Brock.

“Wait, how do you know that the gym leader is Brock?” Missingno quickly turns around to look at her. 

She jerks back at his sudden outburst, but regains herself. “Um… who would go on a pokemon journey without at least knowing what to expect from the gym leaders?”

“Apparently 10 year olds.” 

“Well, might as well get the first battle out of the way.”

“Oh, this one is easy.” Missingno walks up to the kid and spins him to face the wall. “There, no more eye contact. Problem solved.”

“So you want me to face Brock without even fighting this guy?” 

“Yes.” 

“I still hate you.” 

“Yes.” He has a blank stare, but walks after her.

Standing at the back of the gym is Brock, eyes closed and arms crossed.

“... I don’t know what to ask first. Are his eyes closed? Why is he shirtless?”

“Obviously , because he is the rock-type gym leader.”

“... That doesn’t answer anything.”

“Yeah, but that’s the best answer I got.”

"I'm Brock! I'm Pewter’s Gym Leader! I believe in rock hard defense and determination! That's why my pokemon are all the Rock-type! Do you still want to challenge me? Fine then! Show me your best!"

“... Ok.” They both have blank stares as they answer in unison.

And thus starts a battle, that before it ends will put them all in terrible danger. And it will end up deeply changing both them and their views. Forever.

Missingno eyes widen as his smiles disappears and he shouts. “Wait, what was that?”

Chapter Text

Chapter 10- A Random Change

“Go, Geodude!”

“Get’em, Weedy!”

“... Wait, a Weedle? That’s what you are fighting with? Against me?” Brock raises an eyebrow.

“Your eyes aren’t even open, so whatever.” She crosses her arms with a ‘humph’.

Brock laughs. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you one free attack. Come at me!”

She looks at Missingno, who winks back at her. She slowly turns back to Weedy, who winks at her as well.

“Uh, Weedy… punch him.”

Weedy’s eyes narrow and he nods. He turns toward the foe before him and steels his resolve. He scrunches up, and moves forward. He then scrunches up with all his might, and moves forward.

“You probably should have sent Weedy out a little closer.” Missingno lip quivers as he tries to suppress a laugh.

“My original plan was to have his Pokemon close in and counter from there…. But yes, I should have.”

He gasps. “Who are you? Cassandra would never admit to being at fault! She usually blames all her problems on me!”

“Cause it usually IS!”

“Ha. You’ve got 99 problems, and I’m all of them.” Missingno smirks.

“What?”

“Nothing. Look!”

Across the room, Weedy had almost made it. He scrunches up, and moves. And scrunches up, and moves. And FINALLY is there. His eyes have become weary, but have in no way lost their light. From his front ball-like limbs, two buff arms emerge and grip the Geodude’s body/head. He raises it above his head, and throws it with all his might. It crashes against the back wall, cracking the rock.

Weedy used punch!

“That wasn’t a punch!”

Weedy jerks back at his trainer’s reaction. Without looking, his arm lengthens out and punches the Geodude, crushing it further into the rock wall.

Weedy used punch… again!

Enemy Geodude fainted!

“Well, that happened.”

“You told him to do it.” Missingno gives Weedy two thumbs up, and Weedy returns with his own.

Cassandra sighs. “Let’s get this over with.”

Brock smirks. “Go, Onix!”

The giant rock snake roars as it emerges from the pokeball. It peers down on the Weedle that is almost 1/30th it’s size. Weedy tears up and runs back at a blinding rate. He trembles behind Cassandra’s leg.

Got away safely!

“Great to know that you can run away well enough.” She turns to Missingno.

“Alright, alright. Guess that means I’m up.” He cracks his knuckles.

What? Onix is evolving!

“Wait, Onix doesn’t evolve.” Cassandra tilts her head.

“Not in this generation, at least.” Missingno prepares himself.

The Onix transitions back and forth between two different forms. It finally ends with the form of a…

Missingno’s eyes open wide. Wider than humanly possible. Before him is a skeleton of an Aerodactyl. It’s eyes are white, but he can feel its gaze on him, and his breathing stops. It feels like an eternity before the tension breaks.

“What is this?” Cassandra raises an eyebrow at it.

The Aerodactyl(?) looks at her, and points its tail in her direction. Missingno jumps in front of her as chains shoot out and wrap around him. With a flick of the tail, Missingno flies against the wall, hitting the Geodude still embedded in the rock.

Missingno lays there, and finally begins breathing again. He tries to break out of the chains, and his breathing becomes rapid as he finds that he can’t. He flips over and…

Time slows down again as he takes in the scene before him. Clutched in a hind claw, up against the wall, the Aerodactyl(?) holds an unmoving Sandshrew. Its jaws hover over the Jr. Trainer.

Missingno’s breathing becomes shallow, then speeds up to a rapid pace. He stares at the scene before him and his face twists. “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!”

Chapter Text

Chapter 11- A Random Chapter Where Missingno Is Not Actually Random

Let’s move back just a few moments.

In the same movement that sends Missingno flying, the Aerodactyl(?) rushes at Cassandra. She and Weedy jump out of the way, and turn around to figure out the next move. But it keeps moving, rushing toward the Jr. Trainer still facing the wall. As it approaches, his Sandshrew sees this as a pokemon battle and pops out of its pokeball. It is grabbed in mid-air and slammed into the wall, where it stops moving. The Aerodactyl(?) moves its jaws to take a bite out of the kid when Missingno’s scream stops it.

He is on his feet, glaring at his opponent. He sends out a burst of power that shatters the chains, and steps forward. As he walks, he drags a wooden bat riddled with nails. He huffs with each step, and sneers as he approaches the Aerodactyl(?). It turns toward him as he swings. The bat connects, pushing it halfway across the gym. He then jumps through the air, yelling. He swings the bat down on its skull with a loud crack.

It looks up, unphased. Missingno screams even louder as he sends a barrage of wild blows, hitting everywhere on its body.

Amid the barrage, a bony hand reaches out. Its fingers lengthen, gripping around Missingno’s throat. It holds him in the air, gasping for breath.

“Missingno! What are you doing?” Cassandra has watched with confusion. She has never seen him act like this before.

He answers in a raspy breath. “This… THING needs to die! I will avenge that Sandshrew.”

“What are you talking about?” She looks over to the limp Sandshrew. “It just fainted, right?”

“No. It didn’t use a pokemon move, just attacked. And now someone is dead. I will kill it. Kill it. Kill it! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL HIM!” He scratches at the fingers to no avail.

Cassandra watches Missingno’s crazed struggles. His labored breathing, bared teeth, the look in his eyes.

That was it. She figures out what is confusing her. Missingno’s eyes are missing its normal, crazy light. He wasn’t laughing.

“Missingno!” She yells his name, and as he looks, his facial expression becomes blank. She holds up the bat. “What is with this? You trying to crack some… skulls?” She points to the Aerodactyl skeleton.

“...” Missingno stares at her quietly.

“M-Missingno?”

“Ah. haha. Hahahaha. HAHAHAHA! What was that?! HAHAHAHAHA.”

The Aerodactyl(?) tilts its head.

“Oh, sorry about that. This time it’s gonna be fun.” Missingno melts, passing through its fingers. He falls into a puddle on the floor.

“Bro, that’s nasty.” Missingno leans against its side. It looks at him, and he winks.

He picks up his bat and smiles. The Aerodactyl(?) jumps back, putting up a defensive stance.

Cassandra looks at what she is holding. It changed into a taco.

Missingno looks at his bat. “What is with these nails?” He pulls out a hammer and removes them. He then pulls out a series of foot long spikes and glues them on. “There, much better.”

He walks over to a wall and moves a rock out of the way. Behind it is a round hole with some points removed around it. The new bat fits in perfectly and he turns it, opening a new panel.

The panel scans his eye and opens a new panel.

He quickly enters a 27 digit password to open a new panel.

He pulls a book from the bookcase in the panel to open a new one.

And emits an ultrasonic sound to open the last panel.

Which holds a wooden bat with nails stuck in it.

He brandishes the weapon and smiles. He keeps it pointed at the Aerodactyl(?), but turns to Cassandra. “Better?”

She smiles back. “Unfortunately, yes.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 12- A Random Chapter After The Random Chapter Where Missingno Is Not Actually Random 

“Now… How do I kill him?” Missingno asks with a blank stare. 

“Don’t ask me! Don’t you have some sort of plan?” Cassandra raises an eyebrow.

“Me? A plan? HA! I laugh at your insolence.”

“Whatever, just get him.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Missingno salutes in a soldier’s uniform. He takes his bat and cocks it like a shotgun.

The Aerodactyl(?) rushes at Missingno. He points the bat and pulls a trigger. A boxing glove on a spring erupts from the end. It hits the Aerodactyl(?) straight in the face. He pulls the trigger again and again, hitting it in the face repeatedly. It finally grabs the end and roars at Missingno.

He smiles and pushes a button. The glove pulls back into the bat, pulling the Aerodactyl(?) in with it. Missingno walks over to a metal barrel and throws the bat in. He pulls out a match and throws it in too. The flames rise high as the Aerodactyl(?) tries to escape.

Missingno smiles and laughs. “Silly glitch.” His face becomes sullen. “Trixs are for kids.” He raises a sword above his head. He expertly swings it down, cutting clean through it.

He sighs as he finally relaxes. The sight of the last of the bones melting away is comforting. He turns to Cassandra and smiles. “And that’s that.”

She gave a small smile back. “Okay, let me just get Weedy…” She reaches down to let him crawl up her arm. He looks at his limbs which returned to normal and his head droops.

She snickers. “We can go now.” She turns back, but Missingno is no longer there.

She starts to leave, but stops by the Jr Trainer first. He is kneeling with his Sandshrew. She puts a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

He looks at her, then glances to each side before answering. “For… what?”

“For… your Sandshrew of course.” She looked at him puzzlingly.

“Oh, yeah. Well, you know.” He shrugs.

“... You don’t care? Wasn’t he a special friend?”

“Of course. He was my first Pokemon. My dad gave me him.” He stared at her as if everything was normal.

She notices that Brock is currently speaking to her. 

“-gifted as a Pokémon trainer! Go to the Gym in Cerulean and test your abilities!"

“Huh?” She looks at the badge in his hand. “Oh, right. Forgot about that. Guess we technically beat ‘Onix’.” She grabs the badge and heads out.

Outside the Gym, she finds Missingno sitting against a fence. He watches the trees rustle softly. She has seen him with many crazy expressions, but this one is a first. It almost seems like he is… contemplating.

“Strange for me, I know.” Missingno smiles at her.

She sits down along the fence. “So, what was with everything in there?”

“I’ve lived through that kind of scene before, I got… emotional… It’s… extremely complicated. More than I can really explain.”

“What CAN you explain?” They sit in silence. “If I’m gonna stick with you, I at least need to know that.”

“... It is… was a type of… shadow I once had. Which made this glitch very powerful.”

“I see it gained your humbleness.”

Missingno smirks. “For a glitch, what form you take affects your strength. Simply by taking that old form of mine, a new glitch like that could gain enough power to…”

“That kid, he acted so indifferent, so uncaring.”

“As I said, glitches are extremely dangerous.”

“And you are the only one who can defeat them. So, we move on. New city, new glitches, and knowing you, more craziness.”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “But maybe not right now. Today has been plenty… random enough.” He stands up. “You know my favorite part of this not being a game?”

“What?” She raises an eyebrow.

He jumps the fence. “You don’t have to go all the way around the back of the gym."

Cassandra smiles. Many things still confuse her, but Missingno is back again. For now, that’s good enough.

Chapter Text

Chapter 13- A Random Morning… Again

Missingno yawns as the morning light warms the rock he is laying face down on. “Man, I’m tired.”

Where did you guys sleep last night?

“Weren’t you there?”

No, I was off-duty. And because of that, the readers don’t know anything either.

“Oh. Well, my first plan was to sneak into the gym and sleep there. But Brock somehow saw through my perfect rock costume and kicked me out.”

What did Cassandra say about that?

“Something about ‘That’s a potato costume’.” Missingno rolled his eyes. “So I showed her the costume packaging.”

What did she do then?

“She threw it at my face and said ‘It says right here- Giant Potato Costume. Warning: does not look like a rock.’ So I ate it. Without moving. It was pretty skillful.”

Sounds rough.

“I know, right? She really hurt my feelings.”

I meant for her.

“Et tu, narrator?”

Et me, Missingno. But I’m more surprised that you fought Brock instead of using the glitch to skip him.

“There’s a glitch like that?!”

Yeah, it’s not too hard. All you have to do is-

Missingno jumps up. “Be quiet, here she comes.”

She can’t hear me anyways.

“True.” He waves at Cassandra as she approaches. “HEEEEEEEY!!!! DID YOU BRING BREAKFAST?!”

A bag of chips hits him in the face.

“I’m right in front of you.” Cassandra glares at him.

He eats the chips, bag and all, without moving. “I see you got someone to fix your braid. Man, that thing looked horrible.”

“Yeah, you were the one who snuck up behind me to braid it.”

“You were busy packing up, so I decided to help you.”

“Trust me, that terror was not ‘helping’.”

“So, did you do what I said?”

“Missingno, you say a lot of things that I ignore. You have to be more specific.”

“Did you use Weedy to threaten someone to help you?” His eyes shine as he expects the answer.

Cassandra looks at Weedy on her shoulder. They look pitifully at Missingno.

“Speaking of leaves,”

“No one mentioned leaves.”

“How does Weedy eat?”

Cassandra glares at him and slaps a leaf on Weedy’s face. It slowly absorbs into his skin.

Missingno points at him. “That’s cool.” His eyes sparkle.

“THAT is physically impossible.”

“... That’s cool.” He points again at Weedy.

Cassandra sighs and walks off.

Chapter Text

Chapter 14- A Random Pokemon Battle With Actual Pokemon

“Hey! Let’s have a battle!” The Lass sends out a Pidgey.

“Alright. Finally, a real pokemon battle.” Cassandra smiles.

“Whoa. What is that supposed to mean?” Missingno crosses his arms. “I’m somewhat of a pokemon, and I’ve been battling this entire time.”

While that may be true, this is the 14th chapter, and there still hasn’t been a real pokemon battle.

“What about against that Geodude? Weedy did a real pokemon battle.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Uh… That was barely a battle, and an exception, since it was a rock gym.”

“And while we have been arguing, Weedy already won.”

“What?” She quickly turns around. Weedy is wagging his head back and forth in excitement. He is standing on top of two poisoned, fainted Pidgeys.

Missingno smirks. “Remind me what trainers are for again?”

She takes a swing at him, but he ducks. He laughs as he backs out of her reach. In doing so, he stumbles backwards off a cliff. His face twists in surprise. “Cassandra. Cassandra! We have a problem!”

“What is it?”

“I’m stuck! I can’t get back! The cliff is too tall!

“... It’s like, a foot high.”

“Yeah, WAY too tall.” He walked forward until he kicked the ledge and jumped back. “I can’t just… jump up or anything like that. Don’t be crazy.”

She shakes her head and turns to leave.

“No, wait! Don’t leave me!”

His voice fades away as she keeps walking. She meets another trainer, this time a young Bug Catcher. He exclaims as he points his net, “Hey! I met you in Viridian Forest!”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “What are you talking about? I didn’t meet ANYONE in there.”

While that is true, his speech patterns are already set. Plus, it’s not like we could tell or not. They don’t even have names set yet. This could be some random kid for all we know. And even if it weren’t there is the fact that… wait… she can’t hear me… I miss Missingno.

“Go, Weedy!” Her Weedle faces down the Caterpie her opponent sent out. The two basic worm-like pokemon act big and mighty, but the sight of them trying to intimidate one another is sad.

Both trainers shout simultaneously. “Use String Shot!” Their pokemon blast each other with a stream of sticky webbing at each other, which holds their lower halves to the ground. Weedy struggles, but can’t get free.

“Unlike your Caterpie, my Weedy can still attack! Poison Sting!”

Weedy nods at his trainer’s command. He feels the attack form, and launches a poisonous point at the Caterpie.... Wait, isn’t Poison Sting just where he stabs with his stinger? I guess the animation in the game shows otherwise, but that is not until later versions. What do you think Missing... aw.

Back in the fight, the stinger closes in but the Caterpie dodges at the last second. It uses the momentum to roll and free itself. “Go! Use Tackle!” The Caterpie charges the best it can in crawling format.

“Hey Weedy, is that a leaf in front of you?” Cassandra points out.

Weedy’s eyes sparkle, and he smacks his face on the ground to catch it. The Caterpie “runs” headfirst into his spike.

Enemy Caterpie fainted.

Weedy raises his head as the leaf finishes absorbing into his skin and wags his head back and forth. The Bug Catcher looks distraught, but sends out his next pokemon. It is a hard battle, but Cassandra and Weedy finally take them down. Cassandra fist pumps.

“And I did it all without that stupid, ridiculous, talented Missingno.” Cassandra turns around to figure out why her voice was coming from behind her. Missingno smiles and gives a small wave. “That’s what you were going to say, right?”

“Please stop using my voice.” She glares at him.

Missingno coughs into his hand, returning to his voice. “So, did you miss me?”

“That depends. How long have you been standing there?”

“Umm... About the time you used sent out Weedy?”

“So the entire time.”

“No, I missed like, 110 words at the start. Although half of them was the narrator.”

Weird, I didn’t notice you either.

“Says the person who was too lazy to finish describing the battle.”

Touche.

“What are you even talking about?”

“Don’t worry about it. The main thing is that you have proven yourself a worthy trainer. You have shown that you can work with what you got. Which in Weedy’s case means Poison Sting-ing until everyone dies.”

Weedy puffs out his chest. “Yes, yes we’re proud of you.” Cassandra pats the back of his head to avoid his spike.

She turns back to Missingno. “Does this mean you will let me finish fighting trainers without you interfering?”

“No promises.”

She gives him a look, and pushes him back. He stumbles over another edge. “Uh oh. Cassandra, you accidentally pushed me over a large cliff. Cassandra! Wait! Why are you leaving? WAA AA AA AIII IIT TTT!!”

Chapter Text

Chapter 15- A Random Dorr

“Oh no.”

What is it?

“It seems like the backspace key is broken.”

So, we have no way to fix mistakes?

“I guess. I just hope that this chapter will go exactly- I mean perfectly, so that we don’t have any strange things- I mean places- I mean... ARRRGGG! CURSE YOU BACKSPACE!!!”

Well, misspelling the chapter heading wasn’t a very good start.

“True.”

Cassandra stumbles to catch up. She props herself against her knees, trying to catch her breath. She looks up and glares at Missingno.

He tries to look innocent. “What?”

She steps aside and motions to the scene behind her. There are spears, places on fire, an army of Weedles stabbing a log, trainers knocked out everywhere. It is mayhem.

Missingno looks at her. “You think I have anything to do with this?”

“I watched you do it!”

“... And that SOOOO means that I did it.” He smiles smugly.

“Yes. It does!”

“I’m pretty sure you need at least two witnesses.”

“Weedy saw it too.” The pokemon riding on her shoulder nods.

Missingno puts a hand up to block her from hearing. “Pst. Weedy. I’ll give you 3 leaves if you say you didn’t see anything.” He slips a handful of leaves towards him.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’m trying to secretly bribe your pokemon without you noticing. So stop noticing. It’s very rude.” She rolls her eyes, and he looks back at Weedy. “So, how about it?”

Weedy looks back and forth between the two. He shakes his head at Missingno.

“Ha! Weedy likes his trainer better! What do you think of-”

“4 leaves?” He holds up another.

Weedy vigorously nods. Missingno gives him the leaves and he starts “eating” them. Cassandra turns her glare on her pokemon.

“Traitor.” She sighs. “Come on, let’s fo- I mean go. What was that?”

“Aw man! We went so long without a mistake!”

Two hundred and fifty five words.

“Oh whell... NO! AGAIN!”

Twenty one words.

“Let’s just go.” Missingno droops his head and walks off. Cassandra raises an eyebrow and follows.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey-yo!” Missingno energetically opens the door. “I told you that we could make it to the next Pokemon Center.”

“And I told you that I wanted to go back to Pewter City so that I could continue to level up Weedy.”

“And I was RIGHT!”

“... Are you even listening to me?”

“Now let’s heal up that Weedle!”

“That would be a ‘no’.”

The nurse at the counter takes Cassandra’s pokemon, and tells her it will take about 15 minutes. She sits on the couch to wait it out. Next to her is a boy, so she tries to make small talk. “Hello, are you waiting for your pokemon?”

“If you have too many pokemon, you should store them via PC.”

“Ok… That isn’t an answer.”

“If you have too many pokemon, you should store them via PC.”

“Uhh…” She turns to Missingno with slanted eyes.

“Don’t look at me. I’m not doing anything.”

Is he like that because of the game?

“No, I think he is just not very social.”

The boy stammers as his eyes look in opposite directions. “I-i-if you have too many pokemon, you should store them via PC.” He falls off the couch, foaming at the mouth.

“Make that A LOT not very social.”

Cassandra carefully gets up and walks away. Her attention is caught when a man calls out to her.

“Psst!” A middle-aged balding man peeks out from some potted trees. He motions for them to come to him. When they get closer, he checks around before talking. “Hello, there! Have I got a deal just for you! I’ll let you have a swell Magikarp for just 500 Pokedollars! What do you say?”

Cassandra turns to Missingno, who folds his arms. “I can’t believe you. Always accusing me whenever something weird happens. All these things were here long before I was.”

One of the trees in the corner roars and breathes fire.

“... Ok, that was me.”

Cassandra rolls her eyes before returning to the counter to retrieve her Weedle. Outside, Missingno skips along with a huge grin on his face. She looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “You seem very happy.”

“377 words and counting.”

She tries to say something, but is interrupted by Missingno shouting.

“WHAT IS THAT?!” He points to the entrance to Mt. Moon, which is blocked by a large brass door. Above the door is a sign that says-

‘ The Dorr: Property of Team Rocket Launcher.’

“Did we misspell something again?!”

No, I actually think that is how they wrote it.

“So the chapter heading isn’t a typo?”

I guess not. Also, I just figured out that if you use spaces and the arrow keys, you can move mistakes to use in words later.

“Great, and we learn this right at the end of the chapter. Just my puck- I mean luck… crap.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 16- A Random Door That Really Is Called The Dorr

“What is with this?” Cassandra looks back and forth between the door and the sign.

“I don’t know. Let’s go find out.” Missingno runs at the door, crashing into it. He stumbles around before falling to the ground. “Apparently, that’s a door.”

“Well, THAT I could tell.” She approaches and knocks loudly.

A slot opens, just big enough to see the eyes of the man on the other side. “What’s the password?”

Cassandra stumbles back. She reaches up to support the Weedle on her shoulder. “...What? I don’t kn-”

“Password!” Missingno pops up off the floor.

Cassandra looks at him and raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“The password. It’s ‘password’.”

“It is not-”

“Hey Bob, they got the password right.”

“Oh my gosh, that is the password.” Cassandra’s eyes widen.

Another voice comes from behind the door. “Wow, I think that is the first time it has happened since we got Dorr duty.”

“I know, right? What do we do?”

“What about the second password?”

“Right, right.” He clears his throat and turns to the two outside. “What’s the second password?”

“2 nd password.” Missingno immediately replies.

“Joe! He got the second password!”

Cassandra stares at them. “Really? The second password is ‘second password’?”

Missingno smiles and shakes his head. “No, no, no. The second password is ‘2 nd password’. There is a difference.”

The man stammers. “U-uh… what about the third password?”

Cassandra throws her hands in the air. “What is it, THIRD PASSWORD?”

“Nope.” The opening shuts.

Missingno scoffs. “Obviously, the third password would be ‘eighth password’. Try and keep up.”

She pushes his face out of the way and knocks again on the door.

The slot opens again. “What do you want?”

“We just want to enter Mt. Moon. Can you let us pass?”

“You don’t know the passwords, and you aren’t wearing the Official Team Rocket Launcher Uniform ® . I can’t allow you in.” He shuts the slot.

Cassandra turns to Missingno. “What now?”

He rubs his chin. “Well, I could use Fly to take us over, but what is the fun of that?”

“Wait, you could use what?”

“I want to try picking the lock!” He holds a lock picking set underneath his huge puppy dog eyes. “Please.”

She sighs. “Whatever.”

Missingno giddily walks up to the door. He leans down to the lock, and motions to Weedy. “Come, my trusty steed. WE RIDE!”

Weedy leaps off Cassandra’s shoulder in a dramatic fashion. He lands, turns to Missingno, and nods. Missingno nods back, and they get to work.

MIssingno winds up a punch. Weedy taps on the door, and when the slot opens up, the man on the other side is punched straight in the face.

“What was that?” The man’s friend shows up, and Missingno knocks him out too.

A voice comes from inside. “Hey, I think someone is attacking people at the Dorr.” Another person shows up, and is knocked out too.

One last person shows up. “Punching people isn’t nice, you know.” Missingno stares at him for a second… and then punches him too.

“... Alright. Lock picked.” He turns around and gives a thumbs up.

“Do you know what ‘lock-picking’ means?!”

“It means to punch people through the door until they stop showing up, right?”

“No. Not at all. You have lock picking tools. Aren’t those for forcing the lock to open? And what did you need Weedy for?”

“So that’s what these small tools were for. I was wondering how these things would help me punch people. And Weedy is here for moral support. Just one smile from him lights up my world.”

“He has no smile!”

“I meant the smile in his heart. Duh.”

Cassandra facepalms. “Whatever. Can you open the door or not.”

“First, it is pronounced Dorr. And third, I can try.”

“What happened to number two?”

“It’s on the other side of the Dorr.” He kneels down. “Alright. Let’s get to work.”

And then everything explodes.

Chapter Text

Chapter 17- A Random Cave

“Ok, what is with that whole ‘everything explodes’ thing at the end of the last chapter?”

Well, the end of the chapter needed something… flashy.

“So you lied to the readers?”

‘Lied’ is a strong word. Knowing you, something will blow up eventually. I’m just… a little early.

“Missingno, stop talking to yourself and get back to work.” Cassandra crosses her arms as she glares down his back.

“Weedy, double round pick.” Weedy hands him a small tool from the kit. He puts it into the lock and jiggles it around.

“Snake pick.” Another one goes in.

“Half diamond.”

“Scalpel.” The lock is starting to get crowded.

“Spear.” He jabs a seven foot weapon at the lock a couple of times.

“Mace.” Weedy hands him a small spray bottle. “No, the other mace.”

He holds up a missile. Missingno laughs. “You can’t confuse me by holding up a MGM-13 Mace missile.”

He holds up a model of a store. Missingno tilts his head. “Ok, that one I don’t know.”

Mace is the name of a convenience store chain in England and Ireland.

He turns to Cassandra. “Wow. You learn something new everyday.”

She is not pleased.

“Okay, Weedy. I need the mace.”

Weedy hands him a giant, 9 foot mace. Missingno picks it up, and with a ‘umph’, he smashes the Dorr in.

“There, I picked the lock.”

“Sure, ‘picked’.”

“Hey-yo!” Missingno leads the way as they walk through the Dorr, past a large number 2, and over the four knocked out people. They are wearing matching uniforms with a big RL labeled on them. “Man, who would knock out all these guys.”

“That was you.”

“No… pretty sure I would remember something like that.”

Wow, Missingno. Is your attention span so short you can’t even remember last chapter.

“Ooh, look, an item.” Missingno runs over to a pokeball-looking object, about the height of a human. He pops it open and pulls out a disk.

Cassandra perks up. “Is that a TM? Cause I have wanted one for a whi-”

Missingno eats the disk and looks at her. “What was that?”

“H-how? Why?”

“I was wondering if I could gain a third copy of the move, but no go.” His posture droops.

Cassandra has moved on and is now fighting with another Bug Catcher.

“Hey! No having fun without me!”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour later, Missingno drops down a hole on his face. Cassandra drops down after him, bouncing on his back safely. Weedy follows after, and lands on Cassandra’s shoulder.

“OH, that really hurt.”

“Says the person with a javelin through his hand.”

He looks at his hand. Sticking through it is a 2 foot weapon. “Huh, that’s weird. Kinda hurts, too.”

“Then next time, don’t aggravate the large Hiker with a backpack full of assorted sharp objects.”

“He looked big and fluffy at the time.”

“That’s what you told him, and that is why he stabbed you.”  She kicks a rock out of her way. “What is with all these rocks?” Piles of rocks are littered all across the floor, making it hard to move. She stoops down to pick one up. She turns it over, and finds a swirl pattern on the other side.

“SHE FOUND THE HELIX FOSSIL!!!!!!” A Super Nerd pops up over a pile of stones. He points at Cassandra as he shouts.

“What?” Cassandra backs up a step. Behind her, Missingno picks up some other rocks.

“Seems that all the others are Dome Fossils. That’s the only Helix one.”

“AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGG----!!!!!” The Super Nerd tries to run down the pile, but is stopped by a swift throw from Missingno. He goes facedown into the stones and doesn’t get up.

“Was that the glitch?”

A jarring tremor nearly knocks them over. With the shaking comes a rasping cry. It causes the stalactites to waver, the walls to suggest they would collapse. Cassandra, Missingno and Weedy clutch their heads in pain. And in a moment, it was over.

Missingno stumbles with shaking legs. “I’m gonna go with… no.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 18- A Random Evil Organization… Obsessed With Rocket Launchers

Missingno pushes a pile of fossils out of the archway. They clatter over the floor and down a large hole. From below, cries of anger rise.

A man walks around some heavy machinery that travels up and down the hole. He checks the situation and gives a heavy sigh. “Not more Dome Fossils.” He walks up and puffs out the chest of a black uniform with large RL printed on the front. “Who are you?”

Missingno fixes the suit he is now wearing. “We are Official Fossil Inspectors.” He pushes up his sunglasses before continuing. “We have reports that you are searching for fossils, and came to… what is the word I’m looking for?”

“Inspect.” Cassandra finds herself and Weedy in suits as well.

“Actually, I was going to say make sandwiches, but I guess since we are already here…”

The man scratches his head. “I’m not sure what you heard, but you can obviously see that we do not care about fossils.”

Missingno raises an eyebrow. “You can?”

Cassandra yanks the sunglasses off his face.

“Wow, that is SO much better.” He peers down the hole. Deep down at the bottom is a set of drills that pull dirt and fossils out and load them onto a conveyer belt to bring it all up. “Then what ARE you doing?”

“There is a story about a treasure buried here by a pirate, and we want it.”

“So you are after gold.”

“What? Gold? What kind of person would put gold in a box and bury it?” The man scoffs. “Obviously, it must be full of rocket launchers.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Rocket launchers?”

Missingno smiles at her. “Duh. RL. Team Rocket Launcher. I really hope readers were able to get that last chapter, if not from the hint in the chapter heading.”

“... I have no idea what you are saying. But are you sure you aren’t part of Team Rocket Launcher? You have your “custom rocket launcher” after all.”

The man perks up. “Custom rocket launcher? I am going to have to take that from you.”

Missingno laughs suspiciously. “What? Custom rocket launcher? I have no clue what you are talking about.” His special rocket launcher appears duct taped across his chest.

“Are you sure you don’t have anything like that?” The man eyes him carefully.

Missingno slaps on another strip of duct tape to secure it. “Yeah. Nothing of the sort.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry for the confusion.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m immune to psychic type attacks.”

The two laugh for a bit before being interrupted by another piercing cry. After it stops, Cassandra looks around. “What IS that?”

The man shrugs. “Legends say that the treasure is guarded by a Geodude, but we figure, what can a foot and a half tall pokemon do?”

Missingno scoffs. “You don’t know the concept of this story, do you?”

The rumbling returns, and this time it comes with a cracking sound from the hole. The three of them peer down to see large cracks form halfway down, along the side.

The man yells down. “Jerry, I thought you said to walk 22 steps west and start digging. This is where the treasure is, right?”

“Did I say 22, or 36? Cause one is the treasure, and the other just gives an obscene amount of Dome Fossils. I never remember which is which.”

The side bursts, and a humongous Geodude emerges. It is many times bigger than normal, and its arms are ridiculous- almost as big around as its body. It gives a deafening roar and glares at the Rocket Launcher members.

The man gives a shaky laugh. “O- obviously , this is all an optical illusion. Because it is so far away, it only looks like a 50 foot tall, ridiculously beefed Geodude.”

The Geodude grabs a Rocket Launcher member and eats him. The rest of them sit silently before screaming hysterically. The man next to them runs at full force for the exit. The ones at the bottom of the hole can only run in circles. Some try to ride up the conveyer belt, but the Geodude smashes it with a simple sweep of its hand. The rest huddle together in fear.

Cassandra yells after the man who ran away. “That’s not how optical illusions work!”

“Wow, Cassandra. A little late, don’t you think?”

She puts her hands on her hips. “Fine, next time a giant Geodude eats someone, you can make sure to tell them about how optical illusions work before anything else happens.”

“Deal! Also, has anyone else noticed how many italicized words are in this chapter? I mean, it’s not a lot, but more than usual. Weird... “

Missingno, are you going to fight the Geodude, or what?

Everything around him stops as he talks to the air next to him. “Woah, narrator. Been awhile since you showed up.”

Yeah, the plot was trying to move forward.

“Rude. The plot needs to calm down and learn that it can’t interrupt me whenever it feels like it.”

The plot says it’s sorry.

“That’s okay. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a non-plot related fight to get to.”

Except that the chapter is pretty much over.

“You’re right, so I am going to go out and grab a bite to eat before the next chapter starts up.”

Have fun.

Chapter Text

Chapter 19- A Random Geodude

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAND, we’re back.” Time resumes right where it left off last chapter.

“Missingno, we should really help those guys, and isn’t that Geodude is a glitch, and where did you get a hot dog?”

He looks at the steaming food in his hand. “Are we going to talk about that?” In a few swift bites, he consumes the hot dog. “Or are we going to do this thing?” He pulls on a pair of swimming goggles and steps out onto the diving board in a Missingno-colored speedo.

“When did-”

“Cassandra.” He puts a finger to his lips. “I’m trying to sing.”

He gracefully leaps off the springboard and performed a reverse 4 and a half somersault. He spins as he floats down in a majestic manner… and belly flops on the Geodude’s head. The Geodude picks him off and throws him at the ground, burying him into the dirt. A nearby group of costumed Missingnos raise scores. 10, 10 and -12. The Simon Cowell Missingno speaks in a British accent. “That had to be the worst singing. Ever. Of all time.”

Missingno pops out of the ground, gasping. “Okay, now to figure out how to get Cassandra down.”

Behind him, elevator doors open and Cassandra and Weedy get off.

“Since when was that there?”

“Since we walked into this room. There was a big blinking sign that said ‘The ElevaTorr: Runs to operation level, so don’t try to jump and/or dive down’.”

“Oh…”

The Rocket Launcher members rush on and take it back up.

“So what now? Are you going to use your rocket launcher to blow it up?”

“No, Geodudes are impervious to rocket launchers. Why do you think Team Rocket Launcher ran away instead of fighting?”

Cassandra looks at Missingno. “Is your rocket launcher ever going to be of any use? Because so far it has not done a single thing.”

He caresses his custom launcher. “It’s okay, girl. She didn’t mean it.”

“So what random thing will you use to defeat this?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You’re expecting some random thing to happen?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Great, that ruins the surprise. What if I used a banana?” He holds up an apple.

“Sure, go ahead.”

He crushes the fruit in his grip. “No good, no good.” He scratches his chin. “What to do?”

“Whatever you do, do it quick. I’m surprised the Geodude hasn’t attacked us yet.”

Missingno huffs. “Oh, so the giant Geodude with beefy arms surprises you, but my wielding a fork made out of spoons doesn’t?” He holds up a strange fork/spoon mesh.

“No.”

“I will have you know that the Geodude is just following the rules. He can’t attack while we have an important conversation.” He winks at the Pokemon, and it winks back. “In order to defeat a Geodude, we have to use the weakness wheel. Geodude beats rocket launcher, and what beats Geodude is…”

Missingno reaches into the front pocket of Cassandra’s large bag and pulls something out. “THIS!” It is a small sledgehammer with a short handle.

“A hammer?”

“A hammer.”

“And it will work?”

“And it will work.”

“How?”

“How… I mean, like this!” Missingno smiles back at her scowl. He grips the hammer with both hands, holds it at arm’s length, and proceeds to spin in place. Faster and faster, he whips around, creating a small whirlwind. Cassandra places a hand on Weedy to keep him in place and steps back.

Now at a blinding speed, Missingno begins to yell. At the same time, the Geodude winds up a punch. The two attacks close in to collide.

“Hammer… BEAAAAAAAM!” From the end of the hammer, a ray of lights shoots out, connecting with the Geodude’s face.  It is pushed back into the wall before bursting into a generous flow of coins… and a Team Rocket Launcher member.

Cassandra’s eyes widen as she holds out her hands. But before she can catch any coins, they are pulled to the side. She turns to see Missingno sucking them all in.

“Missingno!”

“What?”

“Do you know how much we needed that money? It’s expensive enough to feed you, let alone that fact that you stop me from fighting like, half the people we see. And now you EAT the money?”

“Don’t worry. It was all just those chocolates wrapped to look like money. I was just too lazy to unwrap them. Here, I saved you one.” He pulls out a single coin and hands it to her.

“Missingno.”

“What?”

“This is a real coin.”

Missingno’s stomach makes a gurgling sound. “Oh no.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 20- A Random Flame

Cassandra stumbles out of the cave door, holding Weedy safely against her shoulder. She looks around quickly before turning back to examine the opening.

Missingno walks out while humming. He looks at Cassandra, at the exit, and back to her. “What are you doing?”

“I swear, I was just climbing a ladder. And then I found myself walking out of here. What happened in between?”

“I… don’t understand.”

She sighs. “You never do.” She looks at the direction of Cerulean City. “I think we have a few hours before the sun sets. We should try and make it by then.”

“You think? Why don’t we just turn around and determine the exact meteorological time based on the current position of the sun?” He turns around and freezes.

“What time does the mountain blocking our way say it is?”

“92 and a half.”

Cassandra shakes her head and walks off. The sun is behind Mt. Moon, so a gentle shadow envelops the slight hills that follow Route 4. There are some stairs, but for some reason they are spaced in different areas, so she just jumps up the short ledges. As she passes one small field, a small shine pulls her attention.

She bends down to find a disk lying in the grass. “What is this?”

Missingno peers over her shoulder. “That is probably the WORST TM… ever... of all time.”

“Wait, what is it?”

“Whirlwind, the Repel/escape button of pokemon moves.”

“Aren’t Repels extremely useful?”

“Yeah, as an item. Who would waste a move on a useless, worthless, wasteful, crazy, random, explosion obsessed, stick-eating, ridiculous-”

“Don’t you have a mountain to look at?”

He smiles widely. “You’re right!” He turns back towards the mountain and stares deeply at it.

She picks up the TM to flip it over and back. “Waste not, want not.” She zips open the front pocket of her bag but freezes. “Missingno, when did that hammer come from?”

“The one from last chapter? I put it there sometime around Viridian Forest.”

She leers at him. “When exactly?”

“I don’t quite remember, but about 3.28849438493028484923012 seconds before you smashed the Nidoking.”

He tries to give the biggest smile, but she just rolls her eyes.

When they finally make it to Cerulean, Cassandra falls to her knees.

“It’s late, the sun is setting, you’ve been ridiculous all day, and now this?!”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic. The ‘city’ is just on fire, that’s all.”

“I don’t know about wherever you come from, but towns being on fire is not normal here.”

“Don’t worry. It wasn’t normal there either… Usually.” He smiles brightly.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“No, but this might.” He holds up a Great Ball.

“Where did you find that?”

“It was buried deep into one of the cliffsides. Why and how someone did that, I have no clue.”

“Will it light on fire like other Pokeballs?”

“... Yes.”

She sighs heavily. “Then it’s worthless to me.”

Missingno shrugs and throws it far over his shoulder. It flies into a patch of tall grass and hits a Sandshrew. It rolls a few times before clicking.

Missingno caught a Sandshrew!

Cassandra glares at him. “Even you can catch Pokemon!”

“I’ll tell you what, you can have this one.”

“Wait, really?! I can’t throw empty Pokeballs, but if there is already a Pokemon inside, it works, right?”

“Yup. So, do do you have a Link Cable?”

“A what?” She raises an eyebrow.

“You don’t have one? Too bad…”

“Can’t you just give it to me?” She reaches out to take the Pokeball, but Missingno pulls it away. She tries several times to take it from him, but he continues to keep it just out of reach. “Just. Give. It. To. ME!” Each word comes with another failed attempt.

“Sorry. No can do. And I only have a Zelda Cable, so…” He shrugs.

“I still have no clue what you are talking about! Weedy, now!”

During the struggle, Weedy had crept up Missingno’s back undetected. At the signal, he leaps for the Great Ball.

At the last second, Missingno tosses it into his mouth. After he swallows, he gives a hearty laugh.

Cassandra slumps to her knees, shoulders limp. The sigh that escapes her is the heaviest so far.

Wow, this is my 2nd favorite story, right after Twilight.

“We can’t be friends anymore.”

WHAT?!

Chapter Text

Chapter 21- A Random Narrator

Um… Hello. This is another chapter of Random Encounters with-

“They already know all that.”

Right… um, I’m the new narrator.

“Cause the last one was a horrible person with a corrupted mind and a desire to destroy our friendship.”

He just said that he liked Twilight.

“That’s what I just said. What, do you like it too?”

No!... please let me keep my job.

Cassandra walks past him. “Stop talking to yourself, and let’s go.”

Phew. Saved by the MC...

“You know whispering doesn’t help when I can read it, right?”

… Right…

Missingno catches up with Cassandra and points forward. “TO CERULEAN!”

Cassandra points forward as well. “TO PUTTING OUT THE FLAMES!”

“WE CAN DO THAT TOO!”

Weedy can’t talk, but from Cassandra’s shoulder he points forward with his head spike as well.

Cassandra walks into town, completely unaware of what has already transpired. They walk around, viewing the uncaring citizens. Not only do they not notice that their buildings are on fire, but they are as well. The sun has already set, and the flames give the town a bath of warm light.

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Something is wrong here.”

“Yeah, we already went over this. The town is on fire.”

“Yeah, but nothing is burning.”

“Wait, you didn’t know that, but you still took your time getting here?”

She turns towards him. “You still confuse me, but if there is one thing I have learned about you, it’s that you will never fool around when others are in danger.”

Missingno is watching the fire, eating a roasted potato. He turns back toward her. “What did you say?”

She sighs and walks up to a sign that is on fire. She moves her hand up to it and her brow furrows. She takes a deep breath and plunges her hand in.

“I didn’t know you had a desire to burn yourself.” She jumps as Missingno appears over her shoulder.

“The fire didn’t have any heat, and just as I thought, it doesn’t hurt or spread.” She holds up her arm, completely uneffected.

“So… They stole my idea!?” He turns to the fire, nostrils flaring. “How dare you! I made that up first! Way back when I purposefully made it happen to Cassandra’s Pokeballs!” He looks back at her. “Accidentally, of course.”

She rolls her eyes and walks off. “Let’s find this glitch so we can get some sleep.”

“I don’t know, that Lawyer over there is pretty suspicious.”

The Lawyer in question waves at them.

“Come on.” She grabs his shirt by the back of the collar and drags him off.

He glares at the Lawyer. “I’m watching you.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Missingno looks up with half open eyes. “... So, why are we in front of the gym?”

Cassandra shrugs. “Last time, the glitch was at the Pewter gym, so I thought we should start searching here.” She enters the gym.

Missingno slumps in behind her and calls out in a casual manner. “Hey-yo.” He gives a half-hearted wave.

Inside, Misty and the assistant are cleaning the water. Misty looks up, blinking rapidly. She turns to her assistant. “How many times do I have to tell you! When we close, you need to put up the sign and lock the door.”

Instead of looking up, the assistant breaks into a cold sweat.

“Are you listening to me?”

“I-I’m sorry! I’ll go do that now!” He stands up, but he still keeps his eyes on the floor.

“Too late now. They are already inside.”

“I’m really sorry!”

As they are arguing, Cassandra notices Missingno being strange.

“Which is normal for me. Come on, man. Perfect chance for a joke.”

“What are you doing?” Cassandra raises an eyebrow at him.

Missingno has his face pressed up against the Rhydon statue. “I’m watching the Pokemon that live in here.”

“In where?”

“The statue.”

“There are pokemon in there?” She tries to look into the statue, but it is just rock. “I don’t get it.”

“Well, you can fish in any statue in any gym, but only here is there Pokemon in the water.”

“Uh…”

“Don’t you have to deal with them?” Missingno points to Misty and her assistant, who are still arguing.

Cassandra loudly clears her throat. “Excuse me?”

Misty turns to Cassandra. “I’m sorry, I already sent the other trainers home. We are just about done cleaning too.”

“I know, but we really need to do this today.”

Misty puts her hands on her hips. “Alright, I can give you a battle today. Give me a second to get ready. How many badges do you have so far?”

Missingno perks up. “Hey, why are you only talking to her?!”

Misty pulls out a set of two Pokeballs. “She seems like the more mature one.”

Cassandra smiles. “She’s got you there.”

“Whatever. Just do your Pokemon battle already.” He sits down and pouts.

The trainers move into place on opposite sides of the boardwalk. As they do, Misty pulls out a Pokeball and smiles. “I always ask this of new trainers, but what is your approach when you catch Pokemon? My policy is an all-out offensive with water-type Pokemon! Go, Staryu!”

Cassandra fixes her hat before she points at the opponent. “Weedy, let’s get’em!”

Weedy runs along her extended arm and leaps at the opponent.

Water bubbles up from Staryu’s top limb, and Weedy builds power into his horn. Their resolve ready, they attack.

Chapter Text

Chapter 22- A Random Webbing

Enemy Staryu used Water Gun!

Weedy used Poison Sting!

Water shoots from the top of Staryu’s limb. Although it hurts him a little, Weedy splits right through it. Before he can hit his target, it shoots more water from a side limb, moving out of the way. Weedy pierces into the wood.

“You’ll have to do better than that!”

“We plan to. Weedy, use String Shot on the ceiling!” The sticky webbing hits the roof, but he doesn’t disconnect it. “Ha, now you can’t hit us!”

“Oh, really? Staryu, Tackle!”

Staryu used Tackle!

The Staryu rushes Weedy while spinning. The attack hits and sends Weedy flying. The webbing pulls and sends him upwards. He spins, wrapping himself up until he is swinging in the air.

Cassandra smiles. “Now, String Shot!”

Weedy shoots webbing down at the Staryu, trying to slow it down. It moves around, but Weedy is persistent enough to hit it a few times.

“Staryu, forget defence, just use Water Gun!”

The Staryu stops, and is hit a couple times, but it shoots Weedy with a stream of water. Weedy rocks a bit, but is strong enough to continue.

“Cut the thread!”

Weedy nods, reaches up, and uses his spike to release himself. He falls quickly toward his opponent.

Weedy used Poison Sting!

Critical hit!

Weedy hits the Staryu’s core and sends it back at its trainer. It hits the ground and falls limp.

Enemy Staryu Fainted!

Misty returns her Pokemon, and Weedy returns to his trainer. It takes a while with the sticky webbing still wrapped around his body, but he finally makes it. Cassandra pulls out two Potions and heals him. She smiles and gives him a thumbs up. He wags his head estatically.

He is hit by a stream of water, and is pushed into the water. Cassandra looks up to see Misty’s Starmie.

Misty smirks. “Sorry, this is a battle.”

Cassandra looks around. “Where is Weedy?”

She finds him swimming around in the water by squirming back and forth like a snake.

Missingno jumps a little. “Or a centipede! Did you know those things can swim like that?! It is extremely creepy!”

“What? More importantly, what is going on with the webbing?”

As he swims, the webbing around his body just melts away.

“... You know that a mixture of water and chlorine will melt sticky spider webs, right?”

Cassandra smiles. “Luck is with us now. Weedy, let’s finish this!”

Weedy swims to a wooden post, and swings his back spike into the wood. He then launches himself up and out of the water. The two Pokemon stare each other down… as much as a Weedle and Starmie can…

“Finally, a joke!”

They rush into action. Weedy tries to attack with Poison Sting, but Starmie backs off and counterattacks with Bubblebeam. This goes on for a while, neither getting the upper hand, until Starmie moves to a wrong spot.

Starmie feels pressure under itself, and looks to see a patch of sticky webbing. Weedy had placed lots of it around during the last battle, and Starmie is now caught.

“Weedy, full out offensive!”

Starmie prepares itself, but he has already moved to its back. There is no escape now.

Weedy used Poison Sting!

Starmie used Harden!

Weedy used Poison Sting!

Starmie used Harden!

Weedy used Poison Sting!

Barrage after barrage is sent, and although Starmie hardens its defence, it finally falls to the floor.

Enemy Starmie Fainted!

You beat Misty!

Chapter Text

Chapter 23- A Random Reconciliation

“YEAH!” Cassandra and Weedy jump in the air.

“Wow! You’re too much! You can have the Cascadebadge to show you beat me!” Misty hands her the badge and TM 11. “Not sure if you can use this, but Bubblebeam is a great mid-ranged move.”

Cassandra hands it over her shoulder, where Missingno grabs it with his teeth and eats it whole.

Cassandra bows. “Thank you for the opportunity.”

They leave, but the town is still on fire.

“I thought for sure that it would work.”

“Why? Because Misty was acting like a human and not a machine? This isn’t completely the game.”

Near the Poke Mart, a Rhydon, on fire, turns to them and cries out. “Slowbro!”

“... Okay, so it is still kind of the game. But the glitch wasn’t with Misty.”

“So, where is it?”

“My money's still on the Lawyer.” He stares at the Lawyer standing by the Pokecenter. “Why don’t I go stab him to make sure.”

“Woah, woah, woah. That is NOT a good idea.” She holds him back as much as possible.

“Excuse me.” An old lady walks up to them. In one hand she holds a handpurse, and in the other is a bag of groceries. She smiles softly. “Is everything okay?”

Cassandra returns her smile. “Um, I know you don’t understand, but the town is on fire, and we are trying to fix it.”

“Yeah, I’m going to try and kill that Lawyer.”

“NO, you are NOT!”

The old woman looks at them. “Why?”

Cassandra sighs. “Please, don’t encourage him. Killing someone that we don’t-”

The woman shakes her head and looks at Missingno. “Why would you do that?”

Missingno’s eyebrows raise. “Oh. Well, he is a lawyer, so something like lighting everything on fire seems right up his alley.”

The old woman hits him with her purse.

“What was that for?!”

“Don’t be stereotypical. You think that just because the Lawyer is a lawyer, that he is a horrible person?”

“What if he is?”

“Then he is both a bad person and a lawyer.” As the old woman talks, Missingno looks down and bites his lip . “You need to understand that not everyone is the same, so to put a label on someone you don’t know is unacceptable.”

Or putting one on someone you do know.

“Old Narrator, is that you?! Hey, I’m sorry for what I said earlier.” Missingno hangs his head. “If you like Twilight, that’s fine with me.”

Oh my helix fossil, does that mean that you will read it? And New Moon? I have all the movies, we can have an epic marathon and-

Missingno puts up a hand. “Don’t push it.”

Sorry.

“That’s ok. It’s just good to have you back. Your replacement was so boring, that I had to be the smart one, and I didn’t even feel like messing around with Cassandra’s battle.”

Yeah, that was very unlike you.

Cassandra calls out to Missingno. “Hey, this nice lady said we can stay the night at her place.”

“Perfect. Let me just take care of this.” He turns to the side. “Hey, remember how you talked about explosions, like, 8 chapters ago? And you said it would happen, eventually?”

Yeah, why do you… ooooh.

The Lawyer explodes. When the smoke clears, he is gone along with all the fire. Missingno smirks and puffs out his chest.

Cassandra punches him in his puffed out chest. “I thought we said to leave him alone!” She surveys the town. “Wait, was he the glitch?”

“Of course.” He cringes at her glare. “But not because he was a lawyer, but because he was a Lawyer.”

“... What am I missing?”

“If you could see the capitalization, it would be easier.” He smiles. “There isn’t any Lawyer trainer class, duh.” He skips up to the old woman, takes her outstretched hand, and waits for Cassandra to shake off the confusion and follow.

Chapter Text

Chapter 24- A Random Home

The trio pass by the Pokecenter and head to the long house next door. They enter the front door into the front room. The main pieces of the room are a couple of bookcases along the back wall and a large table centered in the middle. An old man stands in front of one of the bookcases, looking over all the Pokemon books. Plants adorned the front corners to finish the feel of the room.

The old woman places the groceries bag on the table and slowly eases into a chair. She releases a long sigh as she relaxes.

“Uh, honey?” The old man turns away from the bookcase and rubs his chin. “Did we have more kids? How did you hide the pregnant weight?... And the births?... And over 15 years?... Wait… No, I still don’t know how you did that, you little ninja bunny.”

The old woman puts her head in her hand. “I’m sorry for my husband’s insanity. He likes to trade Pokemon, but he doesn’t really know what he is doing.”

“What are you talking about? I traded a Jinx for a Poliwhirl, then traded my Poliwhirl for a Dragonite. I then traded that for a Vaporeon, then a Butterfree, an Ekans, a Vulpix, a Magneton, a Zapdos, a Nidoking, an Omastar, a Venomoth, a Lapras, a Pidgeot, and just recently I traded that for a Jinx. Do you have a Poliwhirl you want to trade?”

“No, all I have is my Weedle. Do you have a Poliwhirl, Missingno?”

“Well, yes. But I don’t want to trade for a Jinx. That thing is weird.”

Cassandra looks around the room. “Do you have a kitchen? Or somewhere to sleep?”

The old woman smiles. She pulls herself to her feet and walks to the east wall. With a push of a button, the wall opens up, revealing a hallway. “Secret passageway.”

Missingno laughs. “Come on, Cassandra. This house is way too long for it to be just one room.”

“Right. Silly me.”

The old woman beacons. “Let me show you around. Don’t forget the groceries.”

Weedy lifts the bag and follows Missingno and the old woman. Cassandra groans, but still decides to check around.

She looks into the kitchen. “Um, is there someplace I can place my bag?”

“Why do you carry around such a big bag? A small messanger bag would be better, my dear.”

“Yeah, Cassandra. It would be so much lighter.”

Cassandra rolls her eyes. “Okay, Missingno. I should just get a bag that won’t fit everything we need in it.”

“Good to know you agree with me. Is there anything I can do to help, Grandma?”

“Is she your grandmother?”

The old woman laughs. “I told him to call me that. It makes me feel good to be called ‘Grandma’ again. You can call me that too.”

“Okay… Grandma.” Grandma smiles.

The old man pops in. “Ooh, can I be ‘Grandpa’?”

Missingno glares at him. “No. You are now Steve.”

Steve sighs. “Okay.” He slips back into the other room.

“Umm… not to interrupt this great moment, but…” Cassandra holds up the bag.

“Sorry dear. You can put it on the last bedroom on the right. Or was it left? If it is full of Pokemon books, that’s the wrong room”

Cassandra leaves to drop off her stuff, and Missingno smiles at Grandma. “Look, I cut up the carrots into my face.”

Grandma smiles and dumps the bowl of face-carrots in the garbage. “Thanks. Can you finish stirring the pancake batter.”

He salutes. “Yes, ma’am.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Missingno flops down on one of the beds in the guest room. “I ate SOOOOO many waffles.”

Cassandra sits on the other. “Yeah, I still don’t know how you did that with a plate of only pancakes.” She moves to allow Weedy to crawl off her shoulder, and onto a Weedle-sized bed.

Missingno smiles. “Glitch power.”

“Speaking of which, is Grandma a glitch?”

“No, she is just a person.”

“But she called you out on all your nonsense.”

“That’s because she is an awesome person. So I obviously had no other choice but to name her ‘Grandma.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m tired. Let’s just go to bed.”

“Alright, I’ll get the lights.” He claps twice.

“... Nothing happened.”

“What are you talking about? It totally worked.”

“... Your eyes are closed.”

“So they are. Let me try again. They say that third time’s the charm.” He fires a slingshot at the lights, knocking them all out…. He then fires again for good measure.

“I don’t even know where to begin.” She shakes her head and lays down. She watches the crescent moon outside her window as she drifts off.

Chapter Text

Chapter 25- A Random Officer

After a wonderful breakfast prepared by Grandma, the gang gets ready to head out again. Missingno, Cassandra and Weedy stand outside the house as they say a last goodbye.

“I will miss you.” Grandma struggles to keep her smile from breaking.

Cassandra gives her a final hug… again. “We’ll miss you too.”

Grandma hands her a large, spiky crystal. “Don’t tell Steve, but I stole this from his stash. It’s a going away present.”

“Can I hold onto it?” Missingno pulls out sparkling eye stickers and slaps them on as he looks at them beggingly.

“Sure.” Grandma smiles and turns back to Cassandra. “Make sure he doesn’t eat it, okay?” 

“Unfortunately, I’m not sure I can guarantee that.” 

Missingno doesn’t hear her as he stares at his new crystal. “Come on, Cassandra. We need to start moving.”

“If you try to rush us, we will stab you.” She glares at him. 

“That would hurt!”

Grandma laughs. “Oh, you’ll be fine.”

Cassandra smiles at her. “I wish we could stay.”

Grandma shakes her head. “You have an extremely important job to do, right? Go, before I change my mind.”

“What are you gonna do? Lock us up in your basement until we are brainwashed?” He laughs.

“Don’t tempt me.” 

“... Right, tell Steve we say goodbye, and good luck with the Pokemon trading.”

They wave as they walk away, Weedy struggling to keep up with his short crawl span. Grandma wipes away a tear and waves back. “Goodbye. Take care. Listen to your older sister.” 

Cassandra raises an eyebrow, but they are heading up some stairs and out of her sight. She thinks about what Grandma just said. Missingno may act like a toddler, but physically he looks maybe 1 or 2 years older than her. To be mistaken as the older one seems weird.

Missingno stops by the river to wave at the man on the other bank. “Hello Super Afro Guy!” The man has a ridiculously tall afro, and waves back at them.

“Who is that?”

“He looks cool, right? Too bad once you beat the Elite Four, he cuts it all off. Oh, and a cave appears with no connection to the last thing.”

“Sure.” With all the talk of hair, she looks at Missingno’s grey hair. As a breeze passes through, she notices that both lighter and darker shades spackle throughout… it…

“WAIT!” Her outburst startles him. “What happened to your hair?!”

“What do you mean?” 

“It used to be… light brown?” She scrunches up her face, struggling to remember.

“Yeah, but in Pewter City, I decided to be more myself. So after I melted, I changed my hair.”

“I never noticed.” She scrunches up even more. “Why didn’t I notice? Are you affecting my memories too?”

Missingno shrugs. “Have we really not mentioned that anytime in the last 13 chapters?”

Yeah, I just looked over them, and she didn’t notice, so there was no good place we could slip it in.

She glares at him. “What else have you made me think?”

He chuckles and holds up a pokedollar. “I don’t know, do you believe this is real money?”

“Yes…. No?... I don’t know anymore.” She throws her hands and walks away. “Where are we going, anyway?”

“Well, the people of this town let a tree grow in the only exit, and the plot won’t let us jump over the fence, so we have to find another way.”

“What other way?”

“Well, we utilize a ruined house.” He breaks into a full on sprint. Straight ahead is a police officer standing in front of a door. Missingno runs into him without moving him an inch.

Missingno used Strength!

After some struggled grunting from Missingno, the officer notices him.

“What are you doing?”

“I need to get in. You are in the way.”

“Excuse me?!” 

“I’m not afraid of you! I have no reason to be. I never break any laws, EVER.… because I am deathly afraid of the 5 total cops in Kanto.” He ends up squirming at the end. “The others aren’t here, are they?”

Cassandra pulls him back by his collar. “I’m really sorry about him.” She drags him away a few steps. “What do you think you are doing?”

“I’m fighting THE MAN, man. 

Are you talking about the government, or just this particular guy?

“Yes.”

Respect.

Cassandra shakes her head. “Let’s just go. Look, there is a fence we can jump over. Simple, easy, and we’ll be on our way.”

“You’re right.”

A man walks up to them. “You should buy a bike.”

“You’re right.”

“No. No you shouldn’t. We should leave.”

“You’re right.”

Missingno, the plot says you can’t do that yet.

“You’re right.” He picks up Weedy, who had finally caught up, and walks away. “To Nugget Bridge!”

“Wait. Missingno! It’s right here. We can move on. MISSINGNO!” She runs after them.

Chapter Text

Chapter 26- A Random Bridge

“This is Nugget Bridge! Beat us 5 trainers and win a fabulous prize! Think you got what it takes? Go, Caterpie!” The Bug Catcher yells for effect.

Missingno scratches his chin. “What kind of prize do you think it will be? Since this is Nugget Bridge, I’m hoping for a chicken nugget.”

Cassandra rolls her eyes. “Go, Weedy.” She begins another Pokemon battle.

Weedy used Poison Sting!

Critical Hit!

It’s super-effective!

Enemy Caterpie fainted!

“... That was easy.”

That was overkill.

“And he is still only level 15.” Missingno fistbumps/headbutts Weedy as they trade places. He points at the opponent’s Weedle with his bloody hand. “Let’s do this before I realize that this is painful.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Wait, did he say level 15?”

What? Weedy is evolving!

He flashes back and forth, overlapping each other. It ends as his new form takes hold.

Weedy evolved into Kakuna!

Weedy giddily rocks back and forth.

“Aw, man. I’m gonna miss his old form.” Missingno is lying on the ground, his head in his arms.

“I’m just confused on how it took this long. I heard that Bug type Pokemon evolve quickly, so I just assumed Weedy would just stay like that because of the glitch.”

“No, I’ve just been spamming the B button for a while. I forgot to do that while I was fighting, though.”

Cassandra looks at the aftermath of the battle. A large circle of the bridge in front of the Bug Catcher is destroyed, water and pieces of wood are scattered everywhere, and his Weedle is floating in the water, fainted. “What did you do?”

“I couldn’t be outdone by Weedy. I needed to OHKO it… so I used Splash.”

“... I’m not even going to start.” She looks at her Pokemon. “I need to change your name again.”

Too bad she can’t do that until Lavender Town.

“That hasn’t stopped her before.”

Cassandra scrunches her face. “What about… Koons?”

“Seriously. What is with your naming sense? Did you forget it at home?”

She rolls her eyes. As she tries to walk away, Missingno drags her back towards town. “What are you doing?”

“There was something I forgot to show you.” He turns around and stands straight before taking a step farther back up the bridge. Halfway through his step, he reaches forward and yells. “Start!”

“... What was supposed to happen?”

“That.” He points to the opposite bank upstream. Standing there is the kid they had just defeated. He is standing half on land, and half in the water. Yet he seems unfazed about any of it. “Start!”

After Missingno yells again, the kid disappears and returns to his previous placement.

“How?...”

“Pretty cool, right?”

Cassandra shakes her head. “Come on, Koons.”

Missingno watches as she walks off to fight the other trainers. As she fights a Lass, he stoops down.

He places his hand on the bridge. It feels cool and rough.

“Which is not what it is supposed to feel like.” He stands up and looks around. “This is not good. Not good at all.”

He runs to catch up with Cassandra. She has just finished with her battle, and both she and Koons are out of breath.

He snaps, and her bag glows brightly. When the light diminishes, her bag is now a small messenger bag with a large ‘M’ on the flap.

She looks at her bag, then at Missingno, back to the bag, then glares at him. “Missingno!”

“What? I said a smaller bag would be better.”

“And how are we supposed to carry all the stuff we need?”

“I just turned it into the magical kind of bag like in the game. It can mysteriously hold enormous amounts of stuff, despite it’s size. Check it out.”

Inside the flap, a bright yellow hue glows. She reaches through it, and sure enough, she can pull out anything she previously had in her bag. It even has her tent, which is physically too big for the bag’s new size.

“Wow, thanks.” She smiles at him. “Sorry that I doubted you.”

“Don’t worry about it. I thought I should give you something to make it easier to let you know that I fought the other three trainers.”

“What?” Her smile drops as she looks behind her. Pokemon and evidence of fighting was all along the bridge.

“MISSINGNO!”

Chapter Text

Chapter 27- A Random Recruitment

The Rocket Launcher grunt pokes Cassandra’s arm. “Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on come on come on comeoncomeoncomeoncomeon.”

“No! I am not joining Team Rocket Launcher.” She puts the Nugget he gave her into her bag.

Missingno smirks. “But you’re keeping the prize.”

“That is for beating the trainers, not for joining.”

“Technically, I beat most of them.”

She glares at him.

“R-right, sorry.”

The Rocket Launcher grunt interrupts them. “I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse!” 

He pulls out a card. “I’ll give you a gift card for the RL Store. Redeemable when you upgrade from grunt to member.”

Missingno inspects it. “What is the difference?”

“When you become a member, you get Pokemon that are actually leveled, you get 3 extra rocket launchers, and you don’t get sent on impossible missions.”

“Like getting random trainers to join AFTER you give them gold.”

“Yeah, like that…. So?”

“Still no.”

“Fine, I’ll make you an offer you REALLY can’t refuse! Go, Ekans!” He and his Pokemon poise dramatically.

“That’s not an offer!” Cassandra fumes. “Missingno, are you sure you aren’t already part of them? You both never make any sense.”

“That is hurtful.”

“... Then why did you take the gift card?”

“He seems to have forgotten about it, so I might as well use it. By the way, shouldn’t you be helping your Pokemon?”

Koons is trapped in the Ekans’ Wrap. Cassandra runs over to help him.

I feel like you are forgetting something, though.

“I don’t think I am. I’ll check the strategy guide just in case.” He pulls out a book and flips it open. “Hey, Cassandra. Whatever you do, DON’T…”

Koons is standing on top of a beaten Ekans and Zubat.

“... beat him.”

“Why not?”

“Because if you had lost to him, we could come back again and get another Nugget. A couple of hours, and we could have been infinitely rich.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”

The Rocket Launcher grunt smiles. “With your ability, you could become a top leader in Team Rocket Launcher!”

“Still not joining!” Cassandra waves as she walks away.

They turn the corner and head into Route 25. After a couple steps, Missingno reaches forward.

“Start!”

“... What is it this time? More teleporting people?” She looks around.

“No…”

Cassandra shakes her head. “Come on, Koons. Let’s go fight these other trainers, try to level you up.”

Koons uses Harden 6 times before they move on.

“That’s cheating!” Missingno watches them as they leave. He kneels to the ground and feels the grass. “Seriously, what is this.”

That is grass.

“That’s Cassandra’s bit. Plus, that’s the problem.”

So, are you going to go beat the trainers before she can?

“Nah, I’ll let her have this one. Plus, I’m still spamming B.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cassandra surveys the area around the house. There is wreckage scattered in various places, and signs of damage are all over the walls.

Cassandra picks up a sign. “It says ‘Sea Cottage: Bill Alakazam lives here!”

“And this sign says ‘Appil Macoontoosh’.”

“What is that? A PC?”

“Yes… and no. It is a computer, but you can’t store large items or Pokemon in it… How does that work? This isn’t Digimon.”

“Let’s go see what’s inside.”

“Ooo, I want to go first.” He jumps up with the computer and spartan kicks the door down. “Hey-yo!”

“Why did you break the door?” She looks around the room. “Is anyone here?”

Inside the cottage, papers and pieces of machinery are scattered everywhere, and a desk is lying on its side. No one is inside except for a strange Pokemon huddled in the corner, stroking its long mustache.

Cassandra shrugs. “Guess not. Let’s go.”

“NO! WAIT!”

She turns to leave, but stops as she is called out to by… the Alakazam?

“Wait, are we really surprised by this?”

Well, if there is anyone reading who has not played the game, they don’t know what is going on.

“I’m more surprised that they are reading this without having played. But, I’m glad that they are reading, and now they can figure out what is happening with this Pokemon…” He smiles wickedly. “NEXT TIME!”

Missingno, that will only affect people until the story is updated again.

“Worth.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 28- A Random Machine

“I’m a Pokemon.- No I’m not! I’m Bill- AN ALAKAZAM” The spikes on the Alakazam’s head swing dangerously as he talks back and forth in two different voices.

… Alakazam?

“Well, it never specifies what Pokemon he turned into exactly, so we’re taking some… creative liberties.”

“... Is this another one of your games?” Cassandra leers at Missingno.

“No, I wish.”

“You wish this was your doing?”

“Uh, teleporters, combining with Pokemon, Cell Separation Systems; I wish I had come up with this all.”

Cassandra and the Alakazam stare at him.

“Oh, sorry.” He clears his throat and speaks in monotone. “Bill, what happened here?”

“Well, I was running experiments on my teleporters, and I accidentally got combined with a Pokemon, and now I need you guys to run the Cell Separation System.”

Cassandra glares at Missingno again.

“Wait, it gets better.” He turns back to Bill. “... No.”

“No!?- YES!- Come on, you gotta help a guy in- I’m perfectly fine.- What do you say,- SUCKA?- Please? Ok? All right! When I’m in the Teleporter, go to my PC and run- AWAY!” He walks into the Teleporter and waits.

“... Ok, that was pretty different, but he still refused to let us say no.” Missingno beams. “Ooo, if we walk out and back again, he will forget this whole thing, and we can start all over.”

Cassandra grabs his collar as he tries to leave. “How about, no.”

“Fine.” He kicks up the overturned desk and places the computer on top. “What is this PC called?”

“It is the ‘Appil Macoontoosh’. And there was no way to do this myself. It’s not like I could have set a timer for the program… unless…” Bill starts mumbling to himself about complex computer codes, including some that relate to the theory of reality.

Missingno scrolls through the computer, searching for the program. “You know, Bill. An Alakazam supposedly has an IQ of over 5000. Wouldn’t your work go infinitely faster if you stayed like this?”

Bill’s eyes widen as he looks at him. “You’re right. Ok, whatever you do, don’t-”

Missingno hits a key on the computer, and the Teleporter doors shut. “... I think I found it.”

The machine emits strange lights as whirring sounds start. Soon after, screams of pain echo through the cottage.

Cassandra turns to him. “Did you really have to do that?”

“The plot forces us to, so yes. Plus his psychic powers were running wild, so he couldn’t touch the computer….” He smiles. “Oh, and it’s fun.”

She shakes her head and turns back to the machine, where the lights and screaming are finally dying down. The doors on the left half of the machine open with a ‘ding’, and smoke billows from within. Bill, now a normal human, coughs as he stumbles out.

“Thank you guys. Now I can finish my experiments.”

Missingno sighs. “Well, you seem normal… ish. Which means we have to deal with this guy.”

From the other doors, a deep cackle emanates. The Alakazam slowly walks out clapping. His spoons float around, giving off a pink hue. “Thank you. Truly, thanks to you all, I have gained sentience, and now I have my power all to myself!” It laughs maniacally.

“Technically, your power came from something else, but whatever floats your boat.” Missingno shrugs.

The Alakazam squints his already pointed eyes and jabs a finger at him. “You! You seem the most dangerous…”

He points at Cassandra. “Ha!”

“... and also the least mature.”

“Why does everyone say that?” His shoulders slump as Cassandra snickers.

“Prepare to meet your doom!” The Alakazam grabs its spoons out of the air, and the pink hue grows brighter.

Enemy Alakazam used Psychic!

… It doesn’t affect Missingno.

“What? You should have burst into many small, little pieces.”

“Woah. First, that is way too gruesome of a scene for this story. Try and keep it rated E for Everyone, please. And second, I’ve already canonized my immunity to psychic type attacks back in Mt. Moon, so too bad.” He sticks out his tongue.

“Fine, but this should work.” It uses its psychic powers to pick up the debris lying around, and sends them flying at Missingno’s head.

“Ow. Ooh. Ouch. Cassandra, help me!”

“No, I’m fine like this.” The debris flies around her, and only hits him.

He tries to swat away as much as he can, but it all just curves back at him. “Narrator, can’t you write that it suddenly loses its power?”

Yeah, but watching this is a lot more fun.

“Fine, then I’ll do it myself.” He reaches over to the computer and presses ‘CTRL’, ‘ALT’, and ‘DEL’.

The debris all falls to the floor. The Alakazam tries to do something, but his power no longer works.

“And now to finish it.” He presses ‘SHIFT’, ‘C’, and ‘4’.

And the Teleporter explodes…. I see what you did there.

Technically, only the half by the Alakazam explodes, and it sends that half and the Alakazam flying through the wall and towards the ocean.

Missingno walks up to the unconscious Alakazam, and uses a 3 foot stick to gently push it into the water. He then picks up the half of the machine and brings it back in.

“Wow, Missingno. Way to push back the progress of science.”

“Please. Several gens later, and there is still no real teleportation.” He grumbles under his breath. “Still have to walk everywhere.”

Bill shakes their hands. “Thanks again for all your help. Too bad, though. I was super close to figuring out trans-dimensional travel.”

Missingno hands him a Link Cable. “Here you go. Problem solved. Let’s go, Cassandra.”

“Wait, what was that?” She leaves the confused Bill and catches up to him.

“... Nothing.”

“Whatever. Have you seen Koons?”

He looks at Koons, who has been clinging to the back of her shoulder since the beginning.

“... No.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 29- A Random Shovel

“Missingno!” Cassandra cups her hands over her mouth. “Missingno! Where did you go?!”

She walks alongside the bridge, searching both sides of the rock walls that line the water. She spots him halfway down, sitting along the coast with a fishing pole. She catches up and leans against the wall next to him.

“What are you doing?”

He groans in despair. “I hate this Old Rod. I’ve been at this for three hours already, and so far I’ve found 4 Kinglers, 7 Seakings, 19 Arboks, 22 Golems, 6 golems, 113 Scythers, 5 Dragonites, and 3 Mewtwos. BUT NO MAGIKARPS!” He gestures to the giant pile of Pokemon and a few magical clay figures that are flopping around like fish. He pushes the pile back into the water and returns to his fishing pole. “I am not  leaving this spot until I catch a Magikarp!”

“Missingno.”

“Coming!” He throws his Old Rod over his shoulder and follows behind her.

They make it back to Cerulean, and as soon as they jump down a ledge, Missingno heads east. He ducks between some trees, and into a backyard, where he counts three steps, turns south, and rips up the bricks there. He holds up a Rare Candy for Cassandra to see.

“What are you doing back there?!” She looks around. “Get back here before you get arrested for trespassing.”

“Don’t worry. It is the privilege of the protagonist to be provided with the possibility to pilfer the small plunders that are positioned around a pied-à-terre.”

Cassandra raises her eyebrow.

“Yeah, I know most people don’t know French, but that was the only word for a home that fit the alliteration.”

She shakes her head and continues towards the Pokecenter to heal Koons. She thought of stopping by Grandma’s again, but decided against it. She knew she would waste a lot of time there, and she would end up not wanting to leave. She heads the other way around the Pokecenter, over the ledge, and walks to the robbed house.

The officer has finally moved, and Missingno is glaring at his apathetic expression. She smacks him upside the head and enters the house. Inside is plenty of evidence of a robbery; the bookshelves have been tossed, a plant is knocked over, strange footprints and pools of water litter the floor. The chairs have been moved, the corner of the table is broken, and the wall is cracked in many places with one large hole gaping to the backyard.

“Um, I don’t think those last things specifically relate to a robbery.”

Cassandra walks up to the woman pacing the floor. Despite her situation, she is smiling.

“Team Rocket Launcher must be trying to DIG their way into no good!”

Missingno stares at her. “Wow, that is… a pun.”

“Team Rocket Launcher must be trying to DIG their way into no good!”

“... I know that NPC’s have specific lines, but you need to know when a joke is used too much.”

Cassandra walks up to the man huddled in the corner by the hole in the wall. “Can you tell us what happened here?”

The man tilts his hat down. “They don’t believe me. The thief is standing right there in the backyard. They stole my very valuable TM!”

“Honey!” The woman glares at him.

“Oh, and they wrecked our house.”

“What did the TM do?”

“It is for teaching a Pokemon how to dig a hole.”

Missingno pops over her shoulder. “... That’s it? Give me a shovel and I can do that, easy.”

Cassandra shakes her head. “We’ll go get it back for you.”

“You will? Thank you, I need to teach Dig to my Pokemon at all costs.”

“All right, we’ll be right back!” She grips her bag and storms out the hole.

“I’m just saying. If you have a shovel…”

“Missingno!”

“Coming!”

Missingno jumps outside, where Cassandra and Koons have already defeated the Rocket Launcher grunt. Laying at his feet are a small, grey humanoid Pokemon, and a yellow and brown tapir-esque Pokemon.

The grunt holds up a CD. “Stop! I give up! I’ll return the TM I sto-”

Missingno knocks him out.

“What was that for?”

“He tried to pull a weapon.”

“That was the Dig TM!”

He stoops down beside the grunt and picks up a shovel. “That’s what I said.”

“... Did you just change the TM into that?”

He puts a hand on his heart. “You understand me so well. Besides, did you see those footprints. Those were not Machop or Drowzee footprints. The only Pokemon they fit is a Golduck. To try and frame an innocent Pokemon like that, he had it coming.”

Cassandra shakes her head. She looks back in the hole. “We got your… TM… back.”

The man shrugs. “I figure what’s lost is lost. I decided to teach Diglett how to Dig without a TM!”

Missingno crashes through the wall, creating a new hole. “Wait, this was all about a DIGLETT!? It learns Dig naturally! And at level 19!!!” He flips the table. “We nearly died getting that back!”

“No we didn’t.”

“It took us over 3 hours!”

“It was about a minute.”

“And then after all that hiking-”

“It was right outside.”

“You wanted it for a Pokemon that cannot be caught under level 15?!”

“Team Rocket Launcher must be trying to-”

“YOU BE QUIET!”

Chapter Text

Chapter 30- A Random Flight

“That was nice of you to fix their house.”

“Says the person who hit me until I did.”

They walk down a path along Route 5. Cassandra looks around, but there are only stone walls on either side.

“Are there no Pokemon along this route?”

"There are, but only between the paths.”

“Then let’s go.”

“What?! You want to walk all the way back to the top, just to fight some Pokemon? We are so close to the Underground Tunnel.”

“You mean Saffron City.”

He puts his hand on her shoulder. “It’s cute that you don’t know about the guards yet.”

She glares at him as she pushes his arm away. “Sometimes, you make no sense.” She jumps the wall and heads into the grass.

Missingno pouts. “Just sometimes?”

Are you not going to follow her?

He yawns. “Nah, I really need a nap. Cassandra is leveling up, can you spam B for me?”

You still on that?

He falls on his face. “Yup…. It’s kinda… my thing…”

Missingno used Rest!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cassandra nudges Missingno with her shoe. “Come on. Wake up.”

He jolts awake. Overhead, the sun is starting to set. “How long was I sleeping?”

“A few hours.”

“Oh no! Did the Narrator do his job?”

Koons pops over her shoulder.

He sighs in relief. “Thank goodness.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “I tried to enter Saffron City, but the guard wouldn’t let me.”

“Told you.”

“So, we go through the Tunnel?”

Missingno scoffs. “Unless you can fly over.”

Cassandra scrunches her face. “Didn’t you say you know Fly?”

“When was that?”

Middle of Chapter 16.

“Oh. Well, if I canonized it…”

Feathery, Missingno-colored wings spring from his back. He shoots into the air before looping back to grab Cassandra and Koons. With a flap of the wings, they Fly off.

After some high speed flying, a few somersaults, and a barrel roll (first Fox’s, then into a real one), they land in a forest.

Cassandra looks around. “Where are we?”

Missingno brushes some twigs and leaves out of his wings. “Not a clue.”

“... Well, can you fly us out of here?”

“Sorry, the moment has passed.” His wings disappear back into his back.

“Great.” She pushes through some bushes, and her jaw drops.

Before her is Vermilion City. On her left is a house, with the Pokecenter just beyond that. She tries to turn around, but the only thing left of the forest is the bushes she just came out of, and behind those is the ocean.

Missingno exits the nearest house, the Old Rod in hand. He hums a fast tune as his eyes sparkle.

No… I mean they literally sparkle.

“You look happy.”

“Of course. I now have the Old Rod.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t you have it earlier today?”

“No, that was AN Old Rod I made. This is THE original. Even when little to no Pokemon are around while surfing, this wonderful tool can magically make Pokemon appear. So mysterious.” He caresses it. “I want to see if I can use its magic in other ways. Then I can become a magician and get out of your crazy adventure to destroy glitches.”

Cassandra crosses her arms. “What was that?!”

“My bad. ‘Exciting’, not ‘crazy’.”

“That was not the part you got wrong.”

“Enough of your talk of magic. Let’s go heal Koons.”

Cassandra shakes her head as he skips off. After a quick trip to the Pokecenter, they walk around Vermilion City. Everything seems normal, but Cassandra keeps a sharp eye out for anything strange. It is getting late, so most people are heading home. Even the construction on the edge of town is packing up to end the day. The crescent moon gives some light as the Machop looks over the land it has finished stomping out.

“What should we do now?”

I would suggest the Pokemon Fan Club.

“Do you know something about the plot?”

… Maybe.

Missingno shrugs. “Good enough for me.”

They head to a building in the southeast part of the city, where a group of Pokemon fans are talking about their favorite Pokemon. The old man in the large chair in the back greets them. “Welcome to the PFC!”

“Excuse me, do any of you know anything plot worthy?”

The man tips his hat. “My Rapidash is worthy of a plot, I can tell you that.” The others in the room laugh with him. “My favorite Rapidash… It… cute… lovely… smart... plus... amazing... you think so?... oh yes... it... stunning... kindly... love it! Hug it... when... sleeping... warm and cuddly... spectacular... ravishing…”

Missingno groans as the man keeps talking. “Did you send us here just to have us listen to this guy?”

*Snicker*.... No…. Maybe…. SO?

“...Oops! Look at the time! I kept you too long! Thanks for hearing me out! I want yo-"

Missingno waves him off. “Yeah, yeah. There is nothing of worth here. We out!”

Cassandra addresses the other three in the room. “Thank you for your time.” She follows after him as he heads back towards the Pokecenter. “Well, that was a waste.”

Missingno looks up at the full moon. “Man, this makes me think of a legend of monsters that only come out at night.” He chuckles. “But there is no such thing as-”

“JOHN CENA!!!!!!!” Bun-dunadaaaa!

A voice echoes across the ‘city’, along with G-funk music.

Missingno gasps. “Werechamps.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 31- A Random Were...champ?

Bun-dunadaaaa!

Cassandra cups her hands over her ears as she yells. “What is that music?!”

Missingno yells back. “What was that?! It’s hard to hear you over the awesome John Cena theme song!”

“THE WHAT?!”

Missingno pulls out a remote control and presses mute. The John Cena background music immediately stops.

“... Okay. So what was that?”

“That was the theme of the Werechamp.”

“... Do I even want to know?”

“Of course you do. During the full moon, they trade reason for strength as they act on their basic desires. They don’t even look like themselves anymore, instead they look like-”

She holds up a hand. “Do you hear that?”

There is a soft, rhythmic thump pulsing at regular intervals. They turn towards the construction site, where a… Machamp is breaking up the ground.

“Like that.”

They try to get closer, sneaking as quietly as possible.

“Don’t be afraid. It can taste the smell of sudden moves.”

“What? And be quiet.”

On closer inspection, it is not quite a Machamp. Along with its four muscular arms, it has two small arms lying worthless by its side. It also does not have the usual yellow mouth, and is instead just gray. And its feet are square, missing its normal split toes.

Cassandra gasps. “It is the Machop from earlier! It stomps out the site by day, and by night it breaks it up again!”

“That’s cool and all, but you do know that it heard you, right?”

The Werechamp yells and rushes towards them.

Missingno pulls out the Old Rod. “I will defeat him by pulling a rabbit out of a hat!”

It dives into a tackle, but at the last moment, Missingno steps out of the way and winds up the Old Rod. He bats the Werechamp past them and into the bushes from before.

“Wait. Did I say ‘pull a rabbit out of a hat’, or ‘toss it through some bushes into a dark void of no return’? I always get those two mixed up.”

From the bushes, an old man walks out and tips his hat.

Cassandra gasps again. “It’s the PFC guy?”

“Uh-oh”

“What is it?”

“There was more than just this guy in the Fan Club.”

From the southeast, more cries echo again. Three Werechamps jump over the houses towards them. Even worse, they are even bigger than the last one.

“Don’t worry, I’ll just toss them into the bushes again.”

While he is speaking, one of Werechamps walks over to the bushes, tears them out, and throws them into the water.

“... Aaaand NOW we’re doomed.”

“What? Don’t you have a backup plan?”

Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop! Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop!

“Let me think…” He scratches his chin with one hand, while batting away the barrage of hits with the other. “I might have an idea.”

He reaches out his hand. “Hi, my name is Missingno.”

Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop!

Enemy Werechamp used Low Kick!

Missingno ducks under the chop and jumps over the kick.

“Any other bright ideas?”

“Let me try that one more time.” He reaches out his hand again. “Hi, my name is Missingno.”

Cassandra swats his hand away. “I know who you are!”

“I know. I was just distracting you while I got this.” He holds up a Nugget.

“Wait, is that mine?”

“ Was yours.” He turns back to the Werechamps. “Here, take THIS!”

He pitches it at the head of the closest Werechamp. It bounces harmlessly off and falls into its hand. It then pitches it away, far over the horizon.

Missingno stares in the direction it flew. “Wow, they really can throw things that far. I thought that was just one of the exaggerations that the Pokedex has. Like Alakazam’s IQ or Pidgeot’s and Rapidash’s speed.”

Enemy Werechamp used Submission!

One of the Werechamps grabs Missingno and spins into the air and towards the ground.

“This might be a good time to mention that I can use Counter.”

The Werechamp smashes him into the ground, while a second Missingno punches it in the face. It flies into the water, and a second later, a large man washes onto the shore.

As the first Missingno struggles to stand, the two Missingnos bump fists .

Enemy Werechamp used Karate Chop!

One of the remaining Werechamps sneaks up behind Missingno and attacks, but he swats it away.

“Never try a sneak attack on someone who can read the text.” Missingno sighs. “But at least you aren’t using Focus Energy, because then I would be in real-”

Enemy Werechamp used Focus Energy!

Missingno used Counter!

A third Missingno hits that Werechamp in the face with Koons, knocking it out.

“Missingno!” Cassandra rips Koons out of his hands.

Wait, I’m still confused on what happened.

“Apparently, some moves don’t reset the data from the last attack.”

Oh.

“Besides, in this gen, Focus Energy accidentally lowers critical hit ratio.”

Double oh.

“Now.” All three Missingnos turn to the remaining Werechamp. “Looks like the tables have turned.”

Uh, Missingno? You do know that they aren’t the main glitch, right?

“Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh………… Of course. But just to make sure you know what the main glitch is… what is it?”

Look up into the sky. What do you see?

“The full moon.”

And a little to the right?

“The crescent moonooooooh, now I get it.”

The two other Missingnos grab the first one, and chuck him into the sky. He crashes into the full moon, and both shatter into pieces.

The Werechamps fade away, leaving the two other Fan Club members in their place.

“And that takes care of that.” One Missingno waves as the other walks around the Pokemart and heads east.

Cassandra glares at him. “I’m still mad about the Nugget.”

“You mean this one?” He reaches into her bag, and pulls out a Nugget. He waves the Old Rod in the air. “Tada! Magic!”

She snatches it back and puts it in her bag. She gives one last glare before leaving to find a place to sleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter 32- A Random Ship

“Hurray! We are going to check out the S.S. Anne this morning!”

Cassandra jumps back. “What? Says who?”

“Says the chapter heading.”

“Once again, what?”

“Besides, even if it is easy to slip between the trees to get to the Gym, the S.S. Anne is important to the plot, so there is probably a glitch there.”

“Now that is a good reason.”

“And that is where we get the Cut HM.”

“Another good reason.”

“And I can sift through the trash to look for Great Balls.”

She shakes her head and walks back into Vermilion City. They went back to Route 6 the night before in order to camp out. Set up and take down was easy with Cassandra’s new magic bag.

As they enter the ‘city’, they notice a large figure hovering above the water just south of the Harbor. It looks like a Voltron robot, but with unicorns instead of lions.

“... How did we not notice that last night?” They both say at the same time.

Cassandra looks at Missingno. “... So, is that a glitch?”

“Oh, that is most definitely a glitch.”

They head down the pier, but are stopped by a sailor.

“Excuse me, do you have a ticket? You need a ticket. You don’t look like the type to have a ticket. Only really important people have a-”

“Ticket?” Missingno flashes a piece of paper.

“Great! Welcome to the S.S. Anne!”

Cassandra follows Missingno towards the robot. “Where did you get that?”

“At Bill’s place. Inside his desk.”

“You stole it?”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say ‘steal’. Just… ‘took with asking and not really caring’.”

“That pretty much is the definition of ‘steal’.”

“Not when he was going to give it to us anyways.”

“You don’t know that!”

He holds up a strategy guide. “Yes I do. More importantly, we have to get inside this robot.”

“And how are we going to do that?”

Missingno cracks his fingers and pulls out a keyboard. “Let’s see if I can’t hack it.”

He throws the keyboard at the mouth of one of the feet. It opens just enough for them to slip through. “There we go.”

Cassandra shakes her head again.

Once inside, the mouth closes, trapping them in darkness. Missingno finds a row of flashlights, and turns them all on. He grabs one and swallows it, light still emitting from his mouth.

“Uh, Missingno?”

“Yeah?”

“Where is Koons? He usually is hanging on my back, but he isn’t there.”

“Yeah, he went to get a pedicure. He really needed one, and I figured we didn’t really need him, and- Oh my helix fossil, what is that?” He points his light at a door.

Cassandra glares at him but still opens the door, flooding the room with light. Missingno’s shoulders slump. “Of course the hallways are lit. Not like I really wanted to be the Human TORCH or anything.” He snickers for a second before slumping again.

As they travel the hallways, they find them lined with statues of unicorns running, jumping, stomping flowers, stabbing birds.

“Wow, this is pretty morbid. Good thing they are just statues.”

As Missingno speaks, all the statues turn to look at him.

“... Missingno, did the statues just move?”

The statues get off their pedestals and slowly walk towards them.

“Cassandra.”

“Yes?”

“We have two choices here. We can either stay and fight, possibly be stabbed by really creepy statues and maybe die. Plus, there is no guarantee that more statues won’t show up, causing us infinite despair and making us just give up…. Or we could run.”

“I like running.”

Missingno dodges a jab from one, and backhands another out of the way. “Are you sure, because I happen to know the move Splash, so-” He turns around, but Cassandra is gone. Halfway down the hallway, she is dodging between statues. “Cassandraaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He reaches out as the statues pile on top of him.

Chapter Text

Chapter 33- A Random Horse

Cassandra keeps running. At the end of the hallway is a stairway facing the other way and after a quick turn, she bolts up it, two stairs at a time. Once she reaches the top, she slows down but still keeps a nice pace, just to be safe. At the end of a small hallway, she came to a choice. She could either turn down the hallway on her left, or head up more stairs. The last stairs had been a better experience than the hallways, so she heads up the stairs again.

It is only a small flight of stairs, and when she reaches the top, she sees a door at the end of another hallway. She walks to the door, and finds herself on a balcony outside.

“Missingno!”

“Yes?” He pops his head out of her bag.

She grabs his collar and pulls him out. She gives him a glare. “Is this your doing?”

“What?”

“I went up two short flight of stairs, but somehow, we are on the shoulder of this thing!”

Missingno looks over the side and down the arm. “Hm, so we are.” He walks back to the door. “You should know by now that glitches can change reality. We should actually be glad for this one.” As they walk back inside and down the hall, he continues. “Instead of walking up 197 feet of stairs, the S.S. Anne’s map allows us to get all the way up here with just two flights.”

Suddenly, the grind of gears comes from all sides. As the sound grows louder, the walls start to move in.

“What now?!”

Apparently, the map is trying to change fully into Voltron’s.

“That’s not so bad.”

Um… Voltron is just a robot… with no hallways… just solid metal…

“Ooooooh. Cassandra, we need to act fast.” He pulls out a long metal pole and sets it between the closing walls. The walls stop, but the grind only grows more strained. “This should hold it. They did it in Star Wars, and it totally worked.”

No it didn’t.

The grinding sound grows louder and the pole starts to bend.

Missingno quickly places several more poles to secure it. “New plan, I’ll hold these in order to keep the map steady. You need to go down these stairs, across the hallway you didn’t pass through earlier, around the corner and up those stairs. The main glitch should be there.”

“You want me to take care of the glitch myself?”

“Don’t worry, I left you a present along the way to help. Now, go!”

Cassandra hesitates, but she follows his instructions. As she runs down the hall, the walls slowly inch closer. As she turns the corner, she sees Missingno’s gift. It is a small sledgehammer with a green handle.

She picks it up with all her might… and almost falls backwards. It looks heavy, but she finds that she can swing it with ease. The closing walls bring her back, and she bolts up the stairs.

She enters the room moments before the walls close shut. Apparently this room is not closing. She looks around to find what looks like an office being taken over by machinery. On the back wall is two eye shaped windows, and in the middle of the room is a giant glowing sphere... and a Rapidash.

The Rapidash shakes its fire mane and calls to her in a deep, gruff voice. “Yo.”

“Oh, you’re a guy.”

His pointed ears twitch. “Of course I am. Why would you think otherwise?”

The Rapidash is covered in accessories. Blue bows, blue beads, blue eyeliner. “... No reason.”

“Just to let you know, this was all my trainer. Ever since he became the chairman of the PFC, he has gone crazy in dressing me up. And it’s not like I can take them off myself, even if I didn’t have these on.” He holds up a foot to show the boot on it. It ties at the top to keep it on, and of course, it is blue. “Seriously, what is wrong with him?”

“I’m really sorry about that, but I do need to stop you.”

“Really? I’ve been working at this for a couple days now…” He nudges at a keyboard right at his feet. “and I’m just getting it to do what I want.” He tries to tap some keys with the edge of his foot.

A robotic voice comes from above. “Opening Netflix.”

He shakes his head, tossing the red flames that make up his mane. “Stop doing that! What even is ‘Netflix’?” He stomps on the keys some more.

“Firing lasers.”

“There we go.” The Rapidash grins.

Small guns emerge from the walls and shoot at Cassandra. She dodges with all her might to not be hit by any. She steps back, spins around and throws the hammer at him.

He raises up on his back legs and brings his front legs down on it.

Rapidash used Stomp!

“Ha! You thought that I would dodge, and then your hammer would fly past me and hit the energy core, but I planned for that!” 

She points at his feet, where he destroyed the keyboard by stomping the hammer into it.

“So your plan was to force me to destroy the robot myself!”

“No, knowing Missingno, I just needed to distract you while he would probably head out through the balcony, make his way to the head, break through the eye and smash the core with a giant mace."

… At this point, I WAS planning to tell you how Missingno had escaped and made a surprise attack, but SOMEONE beat me to it. So yeah. Missingno smashes it.

Missingno fist pumps. “Ha! Hacked it!”

Chapter Text

Chapter 34- A Random Fall

The broken core makes a high pitched squeal, and explosions can be heard coming up from inside.

“We’ll talk about what ‘hacking’ means later.” Cassandra grabs Missingno’s collar and jumps out the broken window. They fall as the Voltron head blows up. Long pieces of metal fall past, just barely missing them.

“Please tell me you have a plan to save us!”

Missingno smiles. “As long as you have the hammer, we’ll be fine. It has a parachute in it, just in case of situations like this.

Cassandra points up to the hammer flipping distantly into the air, propelled by the explosions. “There was no time.”

“... We’re dead.”

Technically, you would have been dead in 3.5 seconds if you fell from 200 feet up, but this is a humor fanfic, so we do what we want.

They both scream as the ground rushes towards them.

… And then they stop. They bounce back up and down a few times before coming to a rest. Cassandra looks around to find that a giant web stopped their fall.

“Missingno, stop screaming.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHhey look, it’s Koons.”

Koons is standing on top of one of the pieces that fell past them. Several others are also sticking out of the ground, so Koons shot some webbing between them to make a net.

“Wait, is he a spider? I always thought he was a cocoon, but I guess that shows what I know.”

“Um, how do we get down?”

Cassandra’s hammer falls out of the sky and through the poles, shattering them. They fall again, this time Missingno landing on his face and Cassandra and Koons landing on top of him.

“Ow.”

Cassandra checks out the harbor to find everything back to normal. The S.S. Anne is docked, and no remnants of the robot or explosion could be seen. Standing on the pier is a normal Rapidash, still covered in accessories, being cuddled by the Chairman.

“Oh, my precious Rappi! I’m so glad you had fun at the cruise party. Let’s go home.”

There’s probably going to be people mad that we gave a Pokemon a gender even though there were none in gen 1.

“Yeah, but the way I see it, it’s not like they just suddenly gained a gender. They had to have had genders all along, but it didn’t really matter for a while.”

Cassandra picks up her hammer and puts it in her bag. “So, what do we do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“We can’t get to the next gym without learning Cut, right? So that means we have to go back through the S.S. Anne to get it.”

Missingno’s shoulders go limp. “But that sounds like wo~~~~~rk.”

“Do you have any other way around it?”

Missingno slumps over to the tree, rips it out of the ground and chucks it into the ocean. “There. Are you happy?”

“Yes, but she isn’t.” Cassandra points to the officer, who is writing him a ticket.

“Oh, come on. Littering? You only ⅓ exist anyways.”

The officer glares while handing him the ticket.

He grabs it and runs up to Cassandra. “Do we even have to fight Lt. Surge?”

“Of course. He is the next gym leader.”

“But couldn’t we move on first? Fight other people first, travel around, make a bunch of jokes, and come back to him after beating some other Gyms first.”

“NO! THIS ONE HAS TO BE NOW!”

“...” Missingno and Koons stare at her.

“Uh… sorry. That was weird.” She rubs her temples. “But can we fight him now? Please…”

“Yeah, sure. But can I do my ‘thing’?”

She sighs. “Whatever.”

Missingno slams the door open. “Hey-yo!”

Cassandra walks in after him. “Why do you always say that?”

He smiles. “Every good protagonist has a catchphrase.”

Cassandra looks around the room. Lines of trash cans cover the entire room, with just enough space to squeeze by. Several trainers stand at the ready.  

“... What is this?”

Missingno hands her a pamphlet titled ‘So You Want To Figure Out What The Crap Lt. Surge Was Thinking When He Made His Gym?’.

She looks it over. “Wait, so we have to look through all these trash cans to find hidden switches to get to Surge, and if we don’t find the 2nd one immediately after the first, we have to begin the search all over again?!”

“Strange how many puzzles you have to go through just to have your paranormal creatures fight other magical beasts.”

Koons used Poison Sting!

Enemy Pikachu fainted!

“Wait, why are you fighting the other trainers?!”

“Why? Am I not supposed to.”

“Of course not. Koons might accidentally level up.”

Cassandra shakes her head before turning back to the fight.

“Fine. I’ll just find the switch on my own.” As he rummages through the trash cans, he pulls out handfuls of empty chip bags. “Who put their trash in the very important gym trash cans!”

“That was you!” Cassandra yells from across the room.

“Oh. I suck.” He throws the bags to the side.

The officer taps her foot as she writes another ticket.

“Come on!”

He snatches the ticket, crumples it up and throws it in one of the trash cans.

“Alright, back to finding those switches.”

“Already done.” Cassandra stands at the back, in front of the open doors to the gym leader room.

Missingno grumbles as he follows her into the back room. There, they are met with a large blond man covered in camouflage combat gear. He leans against a trash can as he greets them.

“Hey kids! What are you’re doing here?”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“You won’t live long in combat! That’s for sure!”

Missingno puts a hand on his heart as he gasps. “What?”

“I tell you kids, electric Pokemon saved me during the war! They zapped my enemies into paralysis! The same as I’ll do to you!” He jabs a finger at Koons.

Koons looks back at him. “What?”

Chapter Text

Chapter 35- A Random American

Lt. Surge grins. “They call me the Lightning American.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “What is an ‘American’?”

“There’s no way he is actually American.” Missingno holds out a bowl of greens towards Lt. Surge. “Want a salad?”

Lt. Surge shrinks back. “Ew, nasty. Got something better, like a cheeseburger… or like, 200 cheeseburgers?”

“... He is American!” Missingno tosses the salad over his shoulder. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but we must leave.”

Cassandra grabs his collar. “ After a gym battle, of course.”

“R-right. That’s what I meant.”

Lt. Surge laughs. “How many badges do you have?”

“Two.”

Missingno looks back at him. “Why do you guys keep asking that?”

“We are gym leaders. I have plenty of Pokemon, but it would be unfair if I used all my strong ones on any new trainers. Since you have two badges already…” He pulls out a set of three Pokeballs. “I’ll use these guys.”

“Oh. That makes a lot of sense. Not every trainer would start their journey in Pallet town.”

And how do you explain the ever increasing levels of wild and trainer’s Pokemon?

“Shhhh. It’s starting.”

Against Koons, Lt. Surge sends out a round Pokemon. It is exactly half red and half white, like a Pokeball.

Cassandra’s eyes grow wide. “Oh, no. Voltorb. Please don’t go boom.”

“Don’t worry, it is only level 21. It doesn’t learn Selfdestruct until level 22.”

“In that case, we can do this!”

Koons used Harden!

Lt. Surge watches as Koons uses Harden several times to max out his defense.

“Return, Voltorb. Go, Pikachu.” He switches out to a small yellow Pokemon. It waddles around on stubby legs.

“Ha. Cute, little, fat, gen 1 Pikachu.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Why did he switch out?”

Lt. Surge smiles. “Electric type moves are special attacks.” He shrugs. “A high defense makes no difference.”

Enemy Pikachu used Thundershock!

… A lot.

Koons fainted!

Missingno throws his hands in the air. “And it’s over. I guess you’ll just have to try again later.”

Cassandra shoves Missingno forward. “ I guess you’re up next.”

“What?!”

“You said you’re a Pokemon… ish, right? Then you can fight.”

“That’s not quite what I mea-” He is cut off by her stare. “Fine.”

His eyes are barely open as he looks down at the yellow mouse. Sparks emanate from the small red patches on its cheeks. “Piiiiiiikkkkkkaaaaa. CH-”

Missingno used Double Kick!

Missingno punts the small mouse against the wall. It ricochets off the walls, floor and ceiling a bunch of times before landing at Lt. Surge’s feet.

Enemy Pikachu fainted!

Missingno scoffs. “Go slim up for future gens.”

Lt. Surge smiles. “I see you have what it takes. But can you deal with this?!” He sends back out his level 22 Voltorb.

“Ha! This will be easywaitdidyoujustsaylevel22?”

Yeah, it helped beat Koons, so it gained enough exp to level up.

“But…”

Yep.

“Then that means…”

Yep.

“Since it leveled up…”

Yep.

“... Crap.”

As the Voltorb chases him around the room, Missingno screams at the top of his lungs. “DON’TGOBOOMDON’TGOBOOMDON’TGOBOOMDON’TGOBOOM!!!!!!!!!”

“Missingno, do something already!”

“What do you expect me to do?! It has me cornered.” He shudders in the corner.

“If you lose, I will kill you!”

“If it explodes, we should all technically be dead!”

The Voltorb edges closer.

Missingno used Hyper Beam!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AAAAAAHHHHH. AAAAAAHHHHH………. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.”

With each scream, he releases another beam of power.

…

Enemy Voltorb fainted!

A little overkill, don’t you think?

Missingno falls on his face. “I really didn’t want it to use Selfdestruct. So no, I don’t think.”

That’s for sure.

Lt. Surge returns his Voltorb. “You brought me down to my last Pokemon, but you still need to recharge after your last attack!”

“Actually, in this gen, if you defeat a Pokemon then you don’t need to recharge. I’m just lazy.”

“Go, Raichu!” This time it is the evolution of Pikachu. Besides being bigger, its ears and tail are drastically different. It is now orange with yellow dots on its cheeks. And it no longer has fingers, just stubs for hands.

“I don’t see how they are from the same evolution chain!” Missingno yells from floor.

A lot of Pokemon are like that.

“True. Bring it on!” Missingno jumps up, ready for action. But he immediately slumps over. “I’m tired. I don’t want to do another battle.”

You know, you never finished Double Kick.

“Oh yeah.” Missingno punts the Raichu.

Hit the enemies 2 times!

It ricochets off the walls, floor and ceiling a bunch of times before landing at Lt. Surge’s feet.

“Now I see how they are the in the same chain.”

Missingno, just because you use the same bit on two Pokemon, does not mean they are related to each other.

“Oh, well then, I still don’t understand it.”

You defeated Lt. Surge!

“Whoa! You guys are the real deal! Fine then, take the Thunderbadge!”

“Cool, thanks, bye!” Missingno grabs the badge, picks up Koons, and drags Cassandra out of the gym.

“... I also have this TM for you…”

Missingno’s arm stretches in to grab the disk before zipping back out.

Chapter Text

Chapter 36- A Random Kidnapping… For A Good Reason, Of Course

Missingno.

“Fine!” Missingno turns around to face Koons. “Would you like some candy?” He holds up a hard candy in a blue wrapper.

Koons wiggles estatically as he… ‘eats’ it by absorbing it through his skin.

Missingno quickly turns back around just as they reach the turn for Route 9. “Sorry about that. What were we talking about before the Narrator so rudely interrupted.”

Cassandra raises her eyebrow. “Uuh, I was asking you why we didn’t just head this way in the beginning? We had to come all the way back to Cerulean.”

On their left, Misty waves from her gym.

They wave back as they turn right. A short ways down the path, a scraggly tree blocks their way.

“That’s why. We had to go get the Cut HM first.”

“... Uh, Missingno?”

“Yes?”

“We never did get that HM.”

“... Right.” He rips the tree out and throws it over the stone wall, into a flower bed. “HA! Take THAT Officer Jenny!”

“Who?”

“That officer… in Vermilion… she doesn’t technically have that name in Yellow... but from the anime… nevermind.” Cassandra stares at him blankly, so he waves her off. “Look, a trainer.”

“Where?!” She looks around, locks onto the Jr. Trainer Girl, and runs to battle her.

Do we now have to distinguish the male and female Jr. Trainers?

“Yeah, we fought a couple of them back on Route 6, but Pokemon battles aren’t the main focus of this story, so we skipped the boring parts.”

Is this one of those parts?

“No, this will be great.” He smiles and runs up to the battle about to start.

“You’re just in time.” Cassandra smiles and points at her opponent. “Go! KOONS!”

“BEEDRILL!”

Cassandra looks over her shoulder at the large bee Pokemon hovering behind her. It flies up and down in small circles, jabbing with the large spears attached to its arms.

“Um… when?”

“I don’t remember. How long ago did I give him that Rare Candy?”

However long it took to write 328 words.

“... Yeah, that long ago.”

“So I missed my one and only Pokemon’s final evolution?!”

“Don’t worry. He brought you a souvenir.”

The Beedrill holds up a broken Kakuna shell.

“... Driller, hit him with the shell.”

Driller salutes before facing Missingno. He holds the shell above his head and chases after the crazy glitch.

“Come on! I know I’ve mentioned this more than enough, but seriously?! Driller?!” Despite running from Driller, he still makes quips.

“Do you really have time to be talking about that?”

Driller smacks Missingno over the head with the shell. He falls flat on his face.

He weakly raises a hand to point at her. “T-there is always time to talk about your poor naming sense.”

“Um…” The young trainer and her Oddish smiles at them.

“Sorry about her being distracted.” Missingno appears at Cassandra’s side.

“Yeah, whose fault is that even?” She looks at Driller. “Now that you’ve evolved, I should start thinking about what moves to teach you.”

“He now knows Twineedle. Which is pronounced like Twin Needle, but looks like Twi Needle.”

“Wait, how?”

“Well, there is only one ‘n’ in the name, so-”

“No, I mean when did he learn it?”

“Oh. He evolved at level 20, so he just barely made the cut off.”

“That makes sens- HE’S LEVEL 20?!!!!!!”

“Yup.”

“No way! He has to be way past that by now!”

“Not when I have been stealing a lot of the exp he has been gaining.”

“Stealing? Why?”

“... Secret.”

“You had better tell me a really good reason for doing that. Otherwise, so help me, I will take your head and-”

Cassandra is cut off as she finds herself suddenly in the air. She looks at the large claw that is clamped around her shoulders and midsection. As the wind bellows past, she places a hand on her hat and the other on her braid. On her left, Missingno is being carried in a similar fashion, although he is upside down. He looks at her and shrugs.

‘He isn’t smiling, so I don’t think this is his doing. So who, or what…?’ Her thought trails off as she looks up. The legs belong to a humongous yellow bird Pokemon. As it flaps its wings, she can see the black that hides on the back.

“ZAPDOS!?”

Zapdos notices her and looks back. The black around its eyes makes it look even scarier. It lets out a loud screech before looking away.

Missingno sighs in relief. “Man, am I glad that it wasn’t me.”

“What?!” She can’t hear well with the wind drowning out the sound, so Cassandra takes her hand off her braid and cups it over her ear.

Missingno speaks a little louder. “I know the title said that it is for a good reason, but I was still worried about kidnapping someone.”

“What?!” This time is not because she can’t hear.

“Seems like Zapdos needs us for one reason or- Heads up!”

Zapdos dives at a building below, close to the river. Cassandra covers her face as it crashes through the roof. It opens its wings in a large, destroyed space, and drops the two off safely… ish.

Cassandra lands on her feet, while Missingno lands on his face.

“Any idea why he needs us?”

Missingno struggles up. “Nope. It could be because of anyone or anythi-” He stops as he looks at Cassandra.

No, not at her. Behind? She suddenly feels a chill go up her back. She slowly turns around despite thinking that it is not a good idea. At all. She finally comes all the way around, and finds herself facing a giant grey creature with heavy armor plates and a horn.

It lets out a cry even louder that Zapdos’s.

“RHYHORN!”

Chapter Text

Chapter 37- A Random Power In The Power Plant

“Glitch! Definitely a glitch!”

Cassandra screams. She grabs Missingno’s collar as she runs past and drags him with her. She runs around a large piece of machinery and quickly ducks behind it. From the other side, screeches and crashing can be heard.

“What is going on?” She pops her head out of her hiding place to get a better look.

Not that it helped. She sees a large Zapdos zapping the giant Pokemon, while the Pokemon seems to be spinning on its back.

She ducks back in. “I’m so confused! What is that?”

Missingno smiles. “That is a Rhyhorn.”

“Are you sure? Cause I’m pretty sure that Rhyhorns are not ten feet tall.”

“Zapdos is also about triple its normal size.”

“Really?” They watch a ten foot tall Electabuzz walk by.

“Yeah, did you really think that Zapdos is that big?” He scoffs. “He is actually only about 5 foot.”

“I’m sorry that I haven’t seen a LEGENDARY Pokemon before.”

“Apology accepted. Now, as for what they are doing, it seems that Zapdos needs help breaking their stalemate.”

“Stalemate?”

“Zapdos seems to only have Electric type moves, which don’t affect Ground types. And the Rhyhorn only has Ground type attacks, which do nothing to Flying types.”

And since this isn’t Pokemon Go or Pokken, neither can really fight each other.

Missingno pops out from hiding. “Don’t worry, Zapdos! You picked the right people to ask for help! I can do anything! So long as it is random and funny!”

Cassandra pulls him back in. “What moves do they have?”

“Zapdos has Thunder, Thunder Shock, Thunder Wave, and Thunderbolt.”

“... Wow, I thought they would be a lot stranger.”

“And the Rhyhorn has Earthquake, Earthshake, Earthbake, and Earthbreakdance.”

“There we go.” She raises an eyebrow. “Earthbake? That sounds more like a Fire type attack.”

“Naw, but it makes some really great cupcakes.” He holds one up. Before he can take a bite, the ground rumbles from the fight. He loses grip, and the pastry falls to the floor.

“... Ya’ll gonna die!” He tries to jump over the machinery, but Cassandra pulls him back.

“How about we try a better strategy than just randomly jumping in”

“I think it has been working pretty well.”

“Does Driller have anything that will work?”

Driller flies up and down in small circles while jabbing.

“Not really.”

Driller slumps over.

Cassandra folds her arms. “Well, he is our best option.”

Driller flies energetically again.

“Actually, I was going to use this Power Transformer.” He places a hand on a large metal box.

Driller falls to the floor, tears in his eyes.

“What?”

“It has a base attack stat of 400, which even Dragonite starts at 134. So if it used an attack like Explosion, this would be a piece of…” He wipes a tear away. “cupcake.”

You know that if you want it to explode, it still needs to be plugged in.

“... Of course.” He pulls up some cord that runs through the floor. He pulls and pulls, but it still doesn’t run out. Feet becomes meters, which easily becomes yards. Soon, there is a large pile of cord, still plugged in.

“There, now we are almost ready.” He pulls out a pink marker.

Cassandra rips the marker out of his hand. “Missingno! You need to stop this.”

“... Uh, stop what?”

“Being so random!” She sighs. “You have been able to defeat everything so far, but what if the glitches get stronger in the future? Do you plan on beating them by being random?”

“Yup.”

“No!”

“You’re right! I also need to be funny.”

“Don’t you get it? It’s great to have some fun, but you need to have some sort of plan.”

Missingno's smile fades as he sighs. “I thought we already went through this a while ago.” He looks around. “I guess I can explain it this way. Do you know about current and voltage?”

“Uh, kind of.”

He punches into the machinery they are hiding behind. From it, he pulls out a D battery. “Voltage is the potential power that exists in something like a battery. My power has rules, and one rule says that the funnier I act, the more power I can draw from.”

He punches a new hole, and pulls out some wires. “And then there is current. It is the rate at which power moves through a wire. In the same way, when I am random, the rate I can use my power goes up. The only difference is that as I use my power, it starts to deteriorate the ‘wires’. So I have to continually be random to use the power I have. That is why sometimes I have to do something completely random that is not really funny, or vice versa. To balance out my power.” He throws the electrical pieces over his shoulders. “Otherwise I end up having none to fight with. Like in Pewter City.”

“Uuuuuuuuuhhhhh.” Cassandra’s eyes spin as she clutches her temples. “So you are saying that everything is in a sense a plan?”

“Less of a plan, and more like everything will work out.” He shakes his head. “No, I will work everything out myself. Just sometimes in a roundabout way.”

Cassandra slowly nods. “Then what do you need from me?”

He smiles. “Just act like you have always. That gives me exactly what I need.” He perks up. “Oh, and I do need something from your bag.”

She holds it open. “Go ahead.”

From his pocket, Missingno pulls out the Max Revive they got from Grandma, and holds it near the glowing opening. His hands shake as he prepares his next move.

In one swift movement, he pulls out a disk and puts the crystal in at the same time. “BOOM! Indiana Jones status!”

She smiles. “I thought you said that was a worthless TM.”

“It is. Not like I’m gonna teach it to one of my friends.” He stands up. “Better get rid of Earthshake. It can ‘shake it like a polaroid picture’.” He says the last part in an accent.

“What?”

He winks at her. “Exactly, just like that.”

She smiles back. “No, but seriously. I have no clue what you are talking about.”

“............ Alright, let’s do this. LEEEEERRRRROOOYYYYY JEEENKINS!” He runs into the open space and towards the break dancing Pokemon.

Chapter Text

Chapter 38- A Random TM

The giant Pokemon watches as Missingno runs across the floor at it, tightly holding the disk. 

Wild Rhyhorn used Earthbreakdance!

As the large, armored Pokemon starts dancing, rocks fly in all directions. Instead of dodging the ones that come at him, Missingno just eats them. When he gets too close, the Rhyhorn stops to face him. It lowers its head in anticipation.

And Missingno breaks the disk over the Rhyhorn’s head.

1, 2, and… Poof!

Wild Rhyhorn forgot Earthshake! And…

Wild Rhyhorn learned Whirlwind!

The Rhyhorn stumbles back, but decides to try out the new move.

Wild Rhyhorn used Whirlwind.

From its mouth a small tornado emerges. As it floats across the floor, it grows bigger. It reaches a great size by the time it reaches Missingno.

And then it bounces off and heads back at the Rhyhorn. As the winds grow stronger, the Rhyhorn starts to lift up. It flails its stubby legs to no avail. It rises higher and higher, flying through the hole in the roof.

Cassandra runs up to Missingno and watches the Rhyhorn float off. “... What?”

“Whether you or a wild Pokemon uses Whirlwind, you always stay in the same place. So the whirlwind must send themselves away.”

“...So, is that it?”

“Not quite.” He turns around and whistles. “Here, boy!”

From around the corner, the Power Transformer seems to run towards them. On the side, a derp face is drawn on with pink marker, and the power cord trails behind as it approaches them.

“Good boy!” He pets it before picking it up and throwing it in the air. It flies toward the struggling Pokemon.

Power Transformer used Explosion!

Missingno throws his hands in the air. “And that’s it!”

Cassandra feels a small tap on her shoulder. She turns around to see Zapdos, now about her height. It gives a small squawk and flaps its wings.

Missingno smiles. “You’re welcome.”

“Wait, you understand Zapdos?"

“No. I just figured that since we fixed its whole, ‘giant Pokemon destroying everything and I can’t stop it’ problem, it would be relieved.”

“Uh, yeah. True.” She looks around the wide open space. “Do you think we should help Zapdos fix the place? That Rhyhorn really smashed this place up.”

“Look left.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. She looks to her left, where there is now a wall. “... What?”

She looks back to her right, a few walls and an opening create a doorway to this now small room. She looks behind, and there are some machine pieces and a Pokemon that looks closely like a Pokeball. Unlike Voltorb, though, its coloring is reversed, even though it is sitting upside down.

“Uuuh…”

“Just an Electrode pretending to be a Pokeball. Totally normal.”

“We seriously need to have a talk about the word ‘normal’.”

Zapdos nods to them and walks through the doorway, heading left.

Missingno yells after it. “You owe me one! Don’t forget!” He sighs. “Who am I kidding. You’ll forget. Chickens aren’t all that bright.”

Pretty sure Zapdos wouldn’t like being compared to a chicken. And I’m not sure if I believe that myth.

“But myths are legends, and it is a legendary Pokemon.”

… True. By the way, Cassandra left a while ago. 

“Oh no! She might accidentally pick up an item! Why didn’t you warn me earlier!” Missingno jumps over the Electrode and crashes through the newly fixed wall to run after her.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I can’t believe you.” Cassandra crosses her arms.

Missingno looks at her. “ You can’t believe me? That’s my line.”

“What, because I got to a HP UP before you could finish taking all the items before me?”

“Exactly!” He grumbles. “Guess we can deal with losing that one.”

“Lose? I’m going to use it.” She hands the small jar to Driller, who looks at it before splashing it on his face.

“Perfect. That’s one problem solved. Why don’t you hold onto this Escape Rope that I kept from you in Mt. Moon. That should solve everything.”

Cassandra glares at him, but takes the rope anyway and puts it in her bag. “So, how do we get back to Rock Tunnel?” She looks at the cliff that separates them.

“Ha! Time to Surf!” He runs to the river and dives in. When he emerges, he has changed into a Seel-like creature. Without a neck, and more round, he splashes around. “Let’s go!”

As Cassandra walks toward him, she notices a slim figure hiding around the corner of the cliff. “Uh, who is that?”

“That’s the Pokemaniac where the Rhyhorn came from. He seems to have come to train it, but never goes inside. Then again, none of his Pokemon seem to have Surf, so how he got here is beyond me.”

She feels another tap on her shoulder. She turns to see Zapdos again. “Do you need something?”

It turns around, spreads its wings, and looks back at her.

“Oh, you’ll fly us over? Thanks, this is much safer.” She climbs onto its back.

“What is that supposed to mean?!” He flails his fins.

“It means that you would drop us in the water if it could make a joke.”

“... True.”

Zapdos beats its wings to lift off the ground. It grabs Missingno in its claws and with a strong push, lifts into the air.

“See, Zapdos isn’t mad. You were worried for nothing.”

As they approach Rock Tunnel, it dives, pulling up at the last moment, but throwing Missingno against a wall.

… Yup. Not mad at all.

Cassandra jumps off Zapdos’s back and waves as it flies back. She heads into the Pokecenter by the tunnel to heal Driller before preparing to enter. She looks at Missingno. “You planning to just lay there all day?”

He jumps up, now back to normal. “Can you believe everything we have done today? The S.S. Anne, Lt. Surge, the Power Plant…”

“And there is still plenty of time before the sun sets.”

Missingno shrugs. “So why don’t we  go train for a bit and then stop here for the day?”

“Come on, we can make it through the tunnel. We’ll set up camp on the other side.”

“I guess. At least I have a place to put my knife collection.” He holds up a set of kitchen knives.

“What?”

“I always leave my knives lying around in caves. Makes everything a lot more fun.”

She shakes her head. “In we go.”

“Ooo, you need Flash to get through Rock Tunnel. I can be the Human Torch now!” He clicks a button on his forehead, and a light emits from his mouth.

“That’s good. Driller can’t learn Flash, so that will really help.”

They duck into the entrance, and find themselves at the bottom of a ladder.

Cassandra raises an eyebrow at it. “Again?” She looks around. “... Oh no."

Missingno clicks the button again. “Yeah, unfortunately the tunnel is already lit. Makes sense for it to be this way since so many people use it. Which means no Human Torch… again.”

Cassandra motions to the massive amount of super buff humanoid Zubats.

“Oh. Yeah. That too. That’s pretty bad.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 39- A Random Buffness

Standing in front of them are creatures that are almost completely human-like. And even though they are ridiculously buff, they wear blue tuxedos with long, thin coat tails. On their backs are small blue wings with purple insides, but even those can be written off. The weird part is the head. Blue skin and void of hair or features beyond similar blue and purple ears and a giant mouth that covers the whole face and has four pointed teeth.

Cassandra stares at them. “Is it bad that I find this that disturbing?”

“Trust me, combine Zubat’s face with anything, human or another Pokemon, and it turns out weird. I tried them all.”

The ‘Zubats’ fill the entire cave, practically back to back.

Missingno perks up. “I was wondering where all the Zubats were in Mt. Moon. Usually there are massive amounts, but I guess they all came here.”

“Whatever. If they want a fight, then we can TWINEEDLE!”

“...” Driller tilts his head at her.

“Uh, Missingno?”

“Oh, he no longer knows Twineedle. He does know Twi Needle, though.”

“... Alright, then use Twi Needle.”

“Wait!” He pulls Driller back. “Can’t you see the crazed, hypnotized look in their eyes?”

“... I’m not even going to respond.”

“But you just did.” He winks at her, and she rolls her eyes.

“So, what do you suggest?”

He hops up on a soap box. “My fellow brothers! Look to me!”

The Zubats all face toward him and emit a high pitched screech.

Missingno holds his ears. “Stop looking! Stop looking!”

The Zubats quiet down, and Missingno continues on. “Alright, just listen. You don’t have to let the MAN bring you down. You are your own selves. I mean, look at you. You’re all ridiculously buff. The only one that has the Strength to stop you is yourself. Break off the Haze that covers your eyes! Use the Rage that exists within you! Continue to Stomp out your future! There is no Substitute for the Swift movement to Take Down those who oppress! Never Rest!” He looks to Cassandra. “Do you have anymore Pokemon move puns?"

“No.”

“Then that’s good enough! Rise up! Vive La Résistance! Tell me your desires!”

The Zubats give an assortment of grunts and cries. They turn and charge farther into the tunnel.

“... Close enough.”

“What now?”

“Now, we see if Driller can Dig it!”

“...”

“...”

Missingno and Cassandra stare at each other for a while before Missingno breaks the silence. “I’m serious.” He holds up a shovel.

After he demonstrates to Driller how to dig up some dirt, he hands the shovel over. Driller holds it awkwardly in his spear-hands, and slowly moves towards the floor. He stabs it in and proceeds to Dig at a blinding speed. In a few short moments, he has dug through the floor and into the level below.

Cassandra glares at him. “Great. You officially taught my Pokemon a move it physically can’t learn. What move did you get rid of?”

Missingno grins. “None. I said I could teach anyone how to Dig a hole. I never said that they would forget something else.”

Cassandra’s eyes widen. “So…”

He poses. “I have broken the four move limit! Who needs just four moves when you can have them all!”

“Too bad he can’t re-learn any of the moves from the levels before he evolved.”

“There’s just Fury Attack and Focus Energy. And I already talked about the problem with the second one.”

“And Fury Attack?”

He places a hand on her shoulder. “A worthy sacrifice.”

She pushes him back and down the hole. She then jumps down after him.

Below, Missingno finishes inflating a bouncy castle. He wipes the sweat off his forehead. “There. I’m done with the joke that has everyone use me to land safely.”

Cassandra falls down, bounces off the castle, and lands on Missingno.

Missingno flails for a bit before lying limp. “You know you could have written it that she falls safely thanks to my ingenious plan, right?”

Yup.

After Cassandra gets off him, Missingno stands up. Driller flies up to him and flails his spear-hands up and down.

“Aw, are you worried about me? Don’t worry, I’m fine.” He holds out a fist. “Thanks for not falling on me this time.”

Driller fist bumps him… or in his case, fist stabs him. Missingno clutches his bloody hand and breathes deeply.

“Are you okay?”

Missingno laughs and holds up his perfectly fine hand. “Of course.”

Cassandra shakes her head and walks farther into the cave. She checks out the lights that line the walls, all the way up the tall sides and over the ceiling, way overhead. As she walks, the lights along the walls grow dimmer. “What are we looking for?”

She nearly trips over something. She looks down to see a small creature only about a foot high. It’s hard to see in the little light, but she can make out the round figure with stubby arms, legs and ears.

“Oh, it’s a Jigglypuff. I didn’t know there were wild ones in this cave.” She reaches down to pet it.

The lights suddenly grow brighter, revealing the creature’s appearance. Cassandra jumps back. “What is that?!”

Missingno runs up with Driller in tow. “Hey, I fixed the light problem!” He looks at the creature. It looks like a Jigglypuff, but is blue, and instead of a face it has a giant mouth with four large teeth. “Oh, a Zupuff. Remember how I said that a lot of things look weird with Zubat’s face/mouth? Well, one of the strangest is this. And don’t get me started on Golpuff or Fearpuff.”

“You seem really calm.”

“Of course. Now if it would be really bad if it was a Zubuffpuff.”

The Zupuff flexes its small arms, which change into large buff ones.

“... RETREAT!” Missingno runs back to the bouncy castle and jumps on.

Chapter Text

Chapter 40- A Random Pokemon Fusion

Cassandra jumps onto the bouncy castle with Driller right behind her.

“So, now that the… whatever you called it has muscles, you run scared.”

Tears form at the edge of Missingno’s eyes as he looks at her. “Can you blame me? Did you see the size of those arms?”

“Yeah, this reminds me of the Geodude in Mt. Moon.”

“Seems to be a reoccurring theme with caves. I shiver thinking what will be waiting for us at Victory Road.”

They hear a cry from outside the castle. They look over the edge to see the Zubuffpuff repeatedly punching the side. Each swing bounces off harmlessly.

Missingno wipes away the tears and laughs. “Take that! Nothing can penetrate the sturdy walls of the great castle-”

“It has a knife.”

It picks up a large kitchen knife and smiles. Or, at least I think it smiles. Hard to tell when its entire face is a mouth.

Missingno half smiles. “... I told you leaving them around would make things more interesting.”

“I was hoping that your ‘interesting’ would cause less problems, but that was too much to ask for, huh?”

“Fire the main cannon!” He throws a beach ball harmlessly at the Zubuffpuff’s head. “No good, attack with everything we got!” He begins throwing an assortment of inflatable pool toys to no avail.

The Zubuffpuff ignores the useless toys and tries to stab the castle. Before it can, it is hit by a cannonball. It stumbles back, but quickly regains itself.

Missingno jumps down. “So, that’s how it’s gonna go? You have forced me to pull out the real weapons.” He brandishes a long pink balloon. “Come at me, bro!”

The Zubuffpuff stabs at Missingno, but he parries the attack with his own ‘weapon’. When the two make contact, it sounds like metal clashing. It tries to continually strike, but each attack, lunge, and even the feints are deflected.

Cassandra watches from on the castle. “I’m really going to regret this, but… what is that?”

He looks at her while still deflecting the enemy’s attacks. “I wanted a balloon to fight with the Balloon Pokemon. The party clown said that it is the hardest balloon animal he can create, but he said I was worth the effort to make this ‘snake’.”

“... What party clown?”

“The one behind you.”

She looks over to see a group of the humanoid Zubats hanging around, eating cake, chatting(?), and having a good time. Close by, a Missingno in a clown getup is juggling.

“So that’s why this castle thing is here.”

“No, it’s not part of the party. I just like bouncy castles.”

She turns back and glares at him. “You do know that a balloon animal can’t block a sharp edge, right?”

Missingno’s eyes widen. “... What?” His balloon pops.

The Zubuffpuff stabs at Missingno, but he sidesteps and back kicks the knife out of its hand. It then charges in for a close fight.

Enemy Zubuffpuff used Pound!

Enemy Zubuffpuff used Double Slap!

Enemy Zubuffpuff used Body Slam!

The Pokemon(?) hits Missingno’s face in a rage of attacks. It then lunges at his midsection, arms open wide.

Missingno used Substitute!

Enemy Zubuffpuff used Disable!

Missingno disappears and leaves a green stuffed animal doll behind. The Zubuffpuff proceeds to wrap its muscular arms around and crush the doll in half.

“That is the craziest spin on ‘Disable’ I have ever seen!” Missingno pops up back by the castle, sweating bullets.

Literal bullets.

The Zubuffpuff lunges at him again, but this time Missingno steps out of the way. It flies into the castle and bounces off, heading back towards Missingno. It grabs onto him and throws him over its shoulder.

Enemy Zubuffpuff used Seismic Toss!

Missingno flips around a couple of times before falling on and shattering his Substitute doll. He weakly gives a thumbs up. “Ha. Substitute was still up, so I didn’t get hurt.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Does it know that move because of its arms?”

“No, Jigglypuff can learn that TM.”

“Really? What else can it learn?”

Enemy Zubuffpuff used Blizzard!

Enemy Zubuffpuff used Ice Beam!

Enemy Zubuffpuff used Psychic!

It didn’t affect Missingno.

Enemy Zubuffpuff used Bubblebeam!

Enemy Zubuffpuff used Fire Blast!

Enemy Zubuffpuff used Solarbeam!

Enemy Zubuffpuff used Thunder!

Enemy Zubuffpuff used Thunderbolt!

After the barrage ends and the dust starts to clear, Missingno slowly pulls himself along the ground. “Why? Why, gen 1 Jigglypuff? WHY?!”

Also, how?

“ Obviously , because it is the Balloon Pokemon.”

… That doesn’t answer anything.

“Yeah, but that’s the best answer I got.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 41- A Random Roar

Missingno rolls onto his back, breathing heavily. “The battle’s not over until the fat lady sings!” The Zubuffpuff walks towards him. “Crap, I forgot that this fat lady can Sing.”

Missingno used Substitute!

Wild Enemy Zubuffpuff used Toxic!

Missingno holds up a green stuffed animal doll in time as his opponent spits out some nasty purple liquid.

“Well, I thought it was going to put me to Sleep, but I guess either way it worked out.”

You do know that Substitute doesn’t block Sleep yet, right?

“What? Really?” Still holding the doll, he dodges around as the Zubuffpuff continues to attack. “So it completely blocks poison, burns, and freezing-”

And flinching.

“-but not sleep?”

It also stops paralysis side effects on attacks that deal damage, and blocks all attacks that only cause confusion with no additional damage.

“What is with these complicated rules?!” He flips a table, which flies at the Zubuffpuff until it is punched in half.

Don’t worry, it is fixed by gen 2.

“That’s a relief, BUT THAT DOESN’T HELP ME HERE!” He flips another table.

Cassandra calls out to him. “Missingno, are you talking to yourself again?”

“No, I am talking to… I just had a thought. Did we have any typos so far?”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“I’m talking to myself.”

… You are asking me though, right?

“Yeah. So?”

None so far.

He grins. “Perfect.”

Missingno used Double Team!

Enemy Zubuffpuff used Mega Punch!

The Pokemon(?) punches through an after-image. It turns around to face Missingno, who is standing in front of the bouncy castle. He tosses the doll to the side.

“The only time it said both ‘wild’ and ‘enemy’ is when it used Toxic, which both Zubat and Jigglypuff can learn.” He places a foot back to brace himself. “Time for the the fat lady to sing.”

Missingno used Roar!

As Missingno roars, the Zubuffpuff’s form shifts. The blue seems to melt off and fly away. It turns into a giant Zubat and flies in place, screeching.

Missingno watches calmly while holding his hands over his ears. “Now!”

A group of the humanoid Zubats jump in and grab a hold of the giant Zubat’s wings. It ignores them and prepares an attack.

Wild Zubat used Swift!

Stars erupt from its mouth, but before they hit Missingno, they turn to the side and break the doll lying on the floor.

“Sorry, the Substitute was still up.”

The giant Zubat shakes off the others and heads into a dive.

“Tossing Pokemon moves aside and just going for a straight attack, huh? Two can play at that game.”

As the Zubat gets close, it opens its mouth to swallow Missingno whole. Inches before he becomes lunch, the clown Missingno appears and smashes the giant Zubat with an even bigger balloon poodle. At the same time that it shatters, the humanoid Zubats glitch out before returning to normal Pokemon.

Cassandra slides off the castle. “Cutting that a little close, don’t you think?”

The clown Missingno laughs. “Don’t worry. He was sure that I would pull through for him, right?”

They look at the other Missingno, who is white-eyed, foaming at the mouth, and falls on his face, weeping.

“... He’s fine.” The clown Missingno throws off his costume, wearing his usual black and white get-up. He walks up to a Jr. Trainer Girl- “I believe this is yours.” -and hands her a Jigglypuff, still with huge arms.

“Wait, I thought that when you beat the glitch, everything turns back to normal.”

“It does. I was the one who turned it into a Buffpuff.”

“... Why?!”

He shrugs. “Cause can.”

Cassandra shakes her head as she and Driller follow Missingno farther into the cave. She looks down to the dead end. “Is this the right way to the ladder?”

“No, this tunnel is a little strange. It is actually box levels, and the ladders don’t match at all. So we are just gonna head to the bottom and Dig our way up.”

Driller pulls the shovel out and flies up to the ceiling. Dirt falls down at them as he makes a hole to the top.

“Cool, but how are we supposed to get up?”

Missingno pulls out a piece of equipment. “GRAPPLING HOOK!!!” A hook launches up and through the ceiling. He hands the gun to Cassandra. “Ladies first.”

She takes the piece, and it automatically starts to reel the cord in. She is pulled up quickly through the hole, and after she passes through the hole, it suddenly seals up. She lets go and drops to the floor. Missingno yanks the grappling hook free and rolls it up.

“Wait! When did you get here?!”

Missingno looks back at her. “Well, it took a few times, but Quick Attack is very handy. I have to hit something, but caves provide plenty of fodder- I mean, Zubats.” Back through the tunnel, dozens of fainted Zubats are lying around at long intervals.

“... Right.” Cassandra claps her hands together. “I say we exit, find a nice place to set up camp, and finally get to sleep.”

Missingno yawns and rubs his eyes. “I like that plan.” He walks to the bottom of the ladder, then flips 90 degrees and walks straight up it.

Cassandra sighs, knowing what is coming next. Sure enough, climbing the ladder leads to walking out the tunnel opening. Never anything in between. She shakes her head as she looks around for Missingno. The sun has already gone down, but she thinks she sees him.

Right in front of the exit is a small plateau that sits on a hill. As she strains her eyes in the dark, she sees Missingno is standing on top of it, staring at the tower nearby while eating a bag of chips.

Cassandra calls out to him. “What are you doing? There’s some open space by a tree nearby. We can set up camp there and eat some dinner.” Despite her yelling at him, he doesn’t even flinch. “Is anything wrong?”

“Yeah. Very wrong.” He runs off towards the next town.

She raises her eyebrow as she looks around. She eventually follows after him to the town, and when she finally gets there…

She is met by a bunch of zombies…

Pokemon zombies.

Chapter Text

Chapter 42- A Random Zombie

As the crescent moon yields a faint light, about a dozen Pokemon zombies shamble around the few buildings of Lavender Town. The few townsfolk still out pass by the creatures, and although they walk around any zombies in their way, they don’t even give them the slightest glance.

Cassandra gasps. “A glitch.”

“Well, duh.” Missingno appears next to her. “But I’m surprised that no one has been hurt yet.”

A yellow, duck-like zombie Pokemon… ‘lunges’ at a passerby. The person simply keeps the same speed, and the Psyduck zombie just grabs air.

Missingno rubs his chin. “I guess the real problem in a zombie apocalypse is the humans.”

“So, it’s a good thing that no one pays attention to them?”

“More or less. For now. But we should take care of this soon.”

“Is it really that serious?”

Missingno stares up at the tower, his smile gone. “I have a feeling that it is.”

“...” Cassandra stares at his expression, but he soon turns to smile at her.

“Now, then!” He points at the tower’s entrance. “It has been a long day, and the time to sleep is near, but are you two ready for one more fight today?!”

Cassandra cheers as she and Driller raise a fist/spike at Missingno’s statement.

They approach the entrance carved into the rock under the tower, but a zombie Squirtle drags its partially curled tail as it lumbers towards them. The shell that cover the back of this turtle-like Pokemon is damaged in places, and a good portion of its blue skin is peeling off, especially around its face.

“Don’t worry, it may be really creepy, but it is also incredibly slow. If we walk swiftly around it, we should be fine.” He looks at the foot tall creature, slowly making its way the last couple of feet.

And he punts it in the face.

“What happened to ‘just walk around it’?”

“That was the plan, but did you see how creepy it used to be?”

“Used to?”

The zombie, laying on its stomach, looks up at them with a normal Squirtle face. It doesn’t have the strength to get up, so it reaches out with its decaying arm and opens its still decaying mouth….

Missingno jumps back. “I thought that would make it less creepy! I was wrong! I was horribly wrong!” He cries as he runs away.

Cassandra takes one last look at it, shudders, and follows him. They walk inside the tower, where five human skeletons are standing at the back of a large room. They grab their heads and turn them towards the entrance.

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Did they have to do that themselves, or are they just being creepy?”

“Technically, they don’t have muscles or tendons, so it would make sense for it to be hard to-”

The skeletons turn around, their heads staying in place, and run at them.

Missingno glares at them. “... Yeah, they’re just being creepy.” He looks to his left. “Cassandra!”

She looks to her left. “Driller!”

He looks to his left… and then back at the other two. “...” He tilts his head.

Cassandra sighs and jabs a thumb at the incoming enemies. “Twineedle.”

“Twi Needle."

“Yeah, whatever.”

Driller salutes with one spear, and points the other at the skeletons. From it erupts many green stingers that fly at the enemy. After a few seconds of continual fire, the skeletons fall over. They glitch out for a second and change into humans.

Missingno puffs out his chest. “This tower will be easier than I-”

Before he can finish his thought, purple orbs of light fall from above. They land on the humans, and they turn into skeletons again.

“... You were saying.”

“There is no time to talk about that!”

Cassandra smiles and points at him. “There is always time to talk about your rash assumptions.”

He points back. “Ooo, payback for the naming thing earlier? Nice.”

“Yeah.” Her face becomes sullen. “But seriously, we should go.”

The skeletons stand up and resume running.

“Right.” They head for the stairs along the wall. The skeletons follow after them, but stop at the first step.

Cassandra wipes her brow as they climb. “I’m glad that’s over with, but are all the levels going to be like that?”

“Nah. The first level just had random people, and they weren’t supposed to be possessed like on the other levels. From here on, the problem is the maze of gravestones. It can be annoying at times.”

“Alright, but will you hurry up?” Cassandra struggles to pull Missingno up the stairs with her.

Missingno takes each step with a groan. “Stairs. Why’d it have to be stairs?”

Cassandra gives up, and runs to the top of the staircase and into a large room like the first. The only thing around is a single skeleton standing by the opposite stairs.

“Uuuh, what maze?”

Missingno trudges up. “Weird, I could have sworn there were-Oh my gosh, there’s a skeleton!”

“Uh, yeah. Did you already forget the five we met on the first level?”

“We’re already on the second level?!”

Cassandra sighs. “Try and keep up, please.”

Missingno used Quick Attack!

In a split second, he flies at the skeleton in a small rotating ball. He hits it and flies back to Cassandra.

“Did I keep up enough?”

Chapter Text

Chapter 43- A Random Tower

Cassandra looks at what she thinks is just a guy with abnormally long hair and sighs again. “I would like to be glad that you defeated the skeleton, but he is still by the stairs.”

“Don’t worry. First the orb thing will fall-”

A purple orb of light falls through the ceiling.

“-then it will turn back-”

As the orb enters the long haired man, it changes into a skeleton again.

“-and as it runs at us-”

It scrambles to get up and run forward at the same time.

“-it runs into my trap.”

As it approaches, it trips over a wire. Before it hits the ground, a ball of yarn wraps around it and sends it flying at a patch of super glue along the wall.

“... When did you set that up?”

Missingno shrugs. “I don’t even remember the first floor. You think I remember setting up an overly complex trap like that?”

Cassandra rolls her eyes and walks towards the stairs. As they pass by, the skeleton struggles to get free. Cassandra ignores it, and pulls out a trail mix bar as they start to climb again.

“Hey, Cassandra. You don’t seem to be phased by any of this.”

“Yeah, because I live with a nightmare even worse than anything here.”

“Really? What is that?”

She looks back at Missingno, lying down and trying to pull himself up the stairs.

When they finally reach the stairs, they find another large room with three skeletons wandering around.

Missingno used Quick Attack!

Missingno used Quick Attack!

Missingno used Quick Attack!

Missingno used Quick Attack!

With each movement, he arks through the air.

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Wait, did I just see you move four times? What was the other one for?”

“...” He slowly slips an Escape Rope behind his back. “... No reason.”

She rolls her eyes as she walks past the regenerating skeletons.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Man, what a haul!” Missingno holds up a collection of bottles, candy, and a Nugget.

“You are going to share those this time, right?”

Missingno stares at her as he splashes the contents of one of the bottles onto Driller.

“That was the HP UP, right?”

Missingno stares at her as he splashes the contents of another bottle onto Driller.

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Wait, what was that first thing?”

“An Elixer to recharge his PP. Driller has been using a lot of attacks on the last few levels.”

“That’s because you keep complaining about how tired you are.”

“That’s true. I’m just surprised how long it took us to figure this out.” Missingno points back at the skeletons wrapped up in sticky string.

It’s weird to think that String Shot can actually be this useful in real life. And even weirder that a bee can still create it.

“Well, he does have spears for hands. Common sense is different here.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “What now? Should we head back for the night? We don’t even know how many more levels there are.”

Missingno walks over to the windows.

“Wait! When did those show up?!”

“It is hard to tell from the inside, but you can see they exist from the outside. More importantly, the zombies are still loose.” He looks back at her and smiles. “Besides, this is the second to last level.”

“Really? Then let’s go!” She rushes for the stairs.

Before she reaches them, a semi-transparent creature appears in her way. It glares at her through the bone mask it wears, and she backs off as it swings a bone club at her with one hand. The club continues on and breaks one of the steps.

Missingno stares at the broken step. “Wow, not only is this mother Marowak one of the only Pokemon to be given an actual gender, and is the only Pokemon to come back as a ghost, but she also can affect physical things even in this state. That is some serious anger right there.”

And that’s not even us messing with anything. 100% game canon right there.

He looks back at the Marowak spirit, which glares at him.

“At least it is only half as tall as us. Any bigger, and it would be-”

The Marowak spirit starts to grow. She reaches 15 feet before it stops, but even then, her club continues to grow.

… Ok, that isn’t canon. That’s our creativity.

“Uh, Missingno. I know you like to play around, but can you not make the enemy ridiculously huge this time?”

“First, I want it stated that the huge enemies is a bit that is done only (for the most part) in caves. Also, that wasn’t me. She is a spirit, so she has no physical body to determine her size.”

“Okay, then you can take care of this.” Cassandra steps out of the way as the spirit brings the gigantic club down on Missingno.

The Marowak spirit’s eyes widen as her attack is repelled. Missingno grins, wielding a large green leek.

“These won’t become Bone Club and Stick until next gen, but I figured that to fight this craziness-”

Please don’t say it.

“-I would need something just as Farfetch’d. ”

You are horrible.

Chapter Text

Chapter 44- A Random Eye

As the giant Marowak spirit and Missingno cross… ‘weapons’, Cassandra and Driller sneak around to the stairs. She jumps the broken one as they head for the top floor.

On the top level is a long, dark hallway. Traveling along the floor, she sees a purple gas that dissipates just before the stairs. She hesitates, but walks through it anyways. The passageway becomes wider, and as she grows used to the low light, a terrible scene is ready to open before her eyes.

The first thing she sees is a sign. ‘Warning: Flammable Gas- No Smoking!... Actually, you shouldn’t smoke anyways. It’s bad for you.’

She raises an eyebrow at the sign, but doesn’t spend too much time on it. Movement beyond it catches her eye. She can now see pretty well, and the three skeletons standing around in the gas makes her flinch.

“Twi Needle!!!”

Driller shoots the creatures, which turns them into two guys with a large R on their shirts, and an old man. They start to fall backwards, but purple orbs enter their backs, and they turn into skeletons.

Cassandra calms herself. “String Shot!” She smiles as Driller ties them up and dangles them from the ceiling.

Her smile fades as she hears a cackle from the other end of the hall.

“Kakakakaka! Consider me impressed!”

Still hard to see, she looks towards the sound. Sitting at the end of the hallway is a skeleton, although this one is very different from the rest. It wears a crown, and only has one large eye with a slightly deformed pupil. The purple gas covering the floor seems to build up in its rib cage, and fall out of its mouth. It is sitting on a huge throne that looks like a mass of gravestones mashed together in a bulking, asymmetrical mass. Small purple orbs of light fly around the throne, and especially around the skeleton’s hands.

“Twi Needle!”

Driller tries to raise his spear hands, but they stay at his side. His wings also stop working, and he falls into the gas, struggling to move.

Cassandra quickly pulls out her hammer and throws it at the new skeleton. It flies directly at the creature, but bounces off harmlessly. “W-Who...?” She manages to force out a word before she falls to her knees. She looks at her trembling arm and tries to say something, but finds it even hard to breath.

“Kakakaka! You can call me the Tower King.” It stands from the throne and walks towards Cassandra, its teeth chattering with each laugh. It stoops down to her and stares at her with its one large eye. “I always thought that the purple gas was too obvious, but to think that someone would be stupid enough to enter.”

Now that it is closer, she notices two things. The first is that this skeleton is completely blue. The other is the pupil, which looks like a round ghost with a tail and small hands. Similar to a Haunter but very different, the image seems to look at her with blank eyes of its own.

The skeleton’s cackle echoes through the empty hall. “I don’t know how, but I combined with my Koffing, so I can emit all the poisonous gas I want. I also can do this.” It reaches to grab her face.

As it gets mere inches away, time seems to slow down for Cassandra. The cackling grows faint as her heartbeat drums in her ear. Every instinct yells to run, but her body can’t even respond enough to turn her head away. As the hand gets even closer, she notices every small groove and nick in the bones, and she wonders if this will be the last thing she will ever see.

“HEEEEEEEY~YOOOOO!!!!!!!”

Cassandra hears Missingno’s sporadic yell behind her, which causes the Tower King to jump up. It leans back, and the cloud of gas within the rib cage expands, ready to burst out.

And then it flies back. Cassandra looks at the throne, where the Tower King is stuck to the throne of gravestones, a javelin piercing through both. The gas stops spewing from its mouth, and the gas on the floor completely dissipates.

“It hurt when I was stabbed with it, but I’m glad I kept that javelin I got from that Hiker.” Missingno walks into Cassandra field of view, breathing heavily. “We don’t have much time, so we need to leave fast.” He holds up a small spray bottle and sprays her with it.

Her limbs suddenly feel lighter, and she stands up slowly.

“That was the only Antidote I have. You think more people would leave them lying around, but…” He shrugs and points to Driller.

She removes an Antidote from her bag and heals her Pokemon. “You said leave. Don’t we need to finish that thing?” She points to the cackling blue skeleton, still stuck to the throne.

Missingno is breathing even harder. “I don’t have the power right now.”

“But I thought you said-”

“You think you can leave so easily?” The Tower King laughs as purple orbs, one after another, drop out of its hand and through the floor.

“Escape now, explain later.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow, but follows him.

As they pass the strung up skeletons, he turns back to her. “One of them should have been an old man. Which one was it?”

Cassandra points to the middle one.

“Driller, fix him and drop him at the same time.”

Driller stabs the skeleton and cuts the string at the same time. Missingno catches the bald, old man and turns to leave.

On the floor below, the tied up skeletons struggle against the threads as they their forms and colors shift as more purple orbs fall into and around them. When they see the escaping group, they scream and struggle harder.

“Running all the way down is not safe.”

“Then what do you suggest we do?” She glares at him.

Missingno points to the wall near the stairs. A large circle is missing from it. Next to the hole is the Marowak spirit, back to normal size and shaking in fetal position.

“I needed to move on, so I was forced to use Splash.” He straps an umbrella to the unconscious old man and throws him out. He slowly floats down into town.

Cassandra shakes her head. “And do we have a way down?”

He hands her the hammer she left upstairs. “I’ve got you this time.”

She hesitates, but the screams of the skeletons and the orbs falling to lower levels convince her to make a decision. She grabs the hammer and jumps out the hole.

The hammer opens up, and a parachute pops out. Her descent is slowed, and she looks at Driller, who is struggling to not drop Missingno on their flight down.

‘He had better have a VERY good explanation.’

Chapter Text

Chapter 45- A Random Rest

Floating down after the old man, Cassandra lands safely in Lavender Town. After the parachute returns into the hammer, she heads over to check on the old man. He is still unconscious, so she sits him up against the Pokecenter. She turns around, and almost runs into a zombie. She jumps back, but it doesn’t move at all. She looks around at the zombies standing completely still, slumped over. When she is sure that the zombies aren’t noticing them, she heads to where Missingno has landed.

When Driller got close enough, he dropped Missingno a foot or two. Missingno landed, creating a shallow crater in the ground. He fell to one knee, and remained in that position until Cassandra approaches.

Cassandra walks up to him as he struggles to his feet. “Are you okay?”

“Fine… ish. How is Mr. Fuji doing?”

“The old man? He is fine, but still knocked out.”

He holds up another small spray bottle. “Also my only Awakening. People need to drop more medicines in random places. Please wake him up.”

She takes the spray and uses it on Mr. Fuji. He slowly wakes up and scratches at his whiting eyebrow, the only hair on his head.

“What is happening? Is the Cubone’s mother all right?”

Missingno places his hand on Mr. Fuji’s shoulder. “... Sure.”

Cassandra glares at him. “Liar.”

Missingno waves her off. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll take care of it sooner or later, though.”

Mr. Fuji smiles warmly. “I must thank you for your kind concern. Follow me to my home, Pokemon House, at the foot of the tower.”

“Thank you.” Missingno helps him to his feet. They follow the old man to his house just a small ways south of the Pokecenter. Inside is a room extremely similar to Grandma’s. Mr. Fuji nods to a young man and pats the head of a little girl as he moves to the Town Map hanging on the back wall. He pulls it back to reveal a hidden storage. From the items inside, he removes a large flute with a Pokeball shape in the middle.

Mr. Fuji turns toward Cassandra and presents the flute to her. “I think this might help your quest.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “How do you know about what we are doing?”

Missingno takes the flute. “He doesn’t. That is just part of what he is supposed to say.”

“Upon hearing Poke Flute, sleeping Pokemon will spring awake. It works on all sleeping Pokemon.”

“That too.” He rubs his eye as he turns back to Mr. Fuji. “Do you mind if I use your room so I can sleep?”

“Go ahead.”

Missingno moves to the east wall. With a push of a button, a secret door reveals another small room. “This house isn’t as big as Grandma’s, but the size is still wrong. Fortunately, the ceiling is about 10 and a half feet up, which is perfect.”

Inside is a bedroom with a tall ceiling, and 151 different Pokemon dolls lining shelves all along the walls.

“Man, and I thought the PFC Chairman was bad. I’m sure he won’t miss just one.” Missingno reaches for a stuffed Pokemon doll.

“Missingno!” Cassandra glares at him.

He pauses to look back at her. He then resumes to slowly reach for it without breaking eye contact.

“Missingno!”

“Fine. I need to sleep anyways.” He tries to close the door, but Cassandra stops it.

“Explain. Now.”

“Right. I did say I would.” He opens the door again and looks straight at her. “I explained how my power works, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that's not the whole explanation. You have to put a charge in a battery from someplace else. By being funny, I can convert my internal energy into usable glitching energy. I slowly recharge that internal energy through the day, and even more when I sleep. But never enough to make up for what I lose. And especially not after today.”

Yeah. 13 chapters, 3 glitches taken down, and a LOT of random.

“Not only that, but the Tower King’s pupil apparently combined with an old shadow of mine. The invincible ghosts were all over the place, and he must have absorbed those. So he has a lot of strength, but I’m running on empty.”

“So you need to sleep.”

“Actually, I need more than that. While sleeping, I am going to do something to fully recharge.” He starts to push the door closed. “For the next six hours, the glitches won’t be able to do anything. During that time, you CANNOT enter this room. Do you understand? Not even once.”

“Okay, okay. I got it.”

Missingno yawns again. “Alright. I’ll see you later. Remember, no entering.”

“I got it!”

“Oh, and get some sleep yourself. We finish this tomorrow.” He closes the door, and the wall seals up as if the room was never there to begin with.

Cassandra looks around the room. Now that Mr. Fuji sent the other two home, there is plenty of space. Mr. Fuji moves some bookcases to reveal a hidden kitchen. While he makes up a late dinner for them, and she notices that the adrenaline from the escape is wearing off, and a wave of fatigue starts to hit her. Once the dishes are cleaned and put away, she unrolls a sleeping bag on the floor. She calls Driller to her side, takes one last look at the wall, and falls asleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter 46- A Random MISSINGNO

Several loud thumps echo through the house. Cassandra and Driller jolt up and scramble to figure out the origin.

They find the culprits outside the window. A bunch of Pokemon zombies are banging against the house in long, slow arcs. Cassandra smiles as she approaches to look outside. That smile drops as she sees the rest of the zombies.

There are now hundreds of them. They slowly shove at each other as they strive to swarm Mr. Fuji’s house. They haven’t broken through yet, but who knows how long that will take.

Cassandra looks at the button along the east wall. She remembers Missingno’s warning, but the banging continues.

She presses the button to the secret room. “Missingno! You have to-” She runs into the room, but doesn’t get very far before she freezes…

And looks up.

In front of her is… she is not even sure what to call it. It kind of looks like a giant backwards ‘L’ with a strange blocky coloring. It sits on the ground, but it’s only a couple inches short of the tall ceiling.

As a strange cactus throwing mud floats through her vision, she finally notices the events happening in the room. Some things are fuzzing between all sorts of random items, while other item’s shapes are shifting. From mini cows to giant plastic dinosaurs, everything is going crazy.

She notices the floating object, now a mud throwing cactus, heading back in her direction. She holds up a hand to stop it, but notices that it has become solid rock. She lifts her other hand to grab it, but it fuzzes and turns into a duck. It gives a small quack before she-

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”

Yeah, that.

As she screams, everything in the room stops. All the glitched things slowly return to normal, and the large creature shrinks and changes into a humanoid shape. In a flash of light, it becomes Missingno.

“I told you not to come in here! Are you okay?!” Missingno runs up to check on her.

She grips at her arms. “What was that?”

“I told you, a glitch’s form can hold a lot of power. That… is my real form. But when I’m in that form, I have a hard time controlling what I do and don’t glitch.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow and looks at him. “Then the ‘you’ right now is…”

“A form that holds my glitch powers back, in exchange for draining a lot of my power.” Missingno stretches his arms. “Anyways, why did you run in?”

Cassandra points out the window at the hoard of zombies.

“Right, let’s take care of that.”

“Are you going to fight all of them?”

“Ha! There’s no way you could call it a fight.” He reaches down to pick up the Poke Flute. “I was holding back a lot, but I still worked a bunch on this baby.”

“Worked? Did you change what it does?”

“Yeah, but it was worthless anyways. They say that it can wake up any Pokemon, but you can’t use it in battle.”

“Oh.”

“So as I said, let’s take care of this.” Missingno throws open the door. Every zombie looks right at him and starts to attack.

As Missingno blows hard into the Poke Flute, the hundreds of Pokemon zombies burst into dust. As the ashes blow away, the spirits of the Pokemon rise away with smiling faces.

“Much better this time.” Missingno waves to a departing Squirtle spirit.

Cassandra walks after him as they head towards the tower. “And no more zombies are going to show up, right?”

“Yeah, the Granite Throne used everything it had to make all those zombies at once, so it is out of power for now.”

“The what?”

“You know… the throne… cause it’s a bunch of gravestones welded together… maybe welded together by Aegon’s Dragonite… a play on Game of… nevermind.” Missingno waves off her confused gaze. “The main point is that glitch won’t be anymore trouble, unlike the other one.”

“Are they two glitches?”

“Yeah, Lavender Town and the Pokemon Tower are two separate points on the Town Map, so they have two different glitches. Although the Tower King somehow dragged it up to be his seat.”

“So the Tower King is still going to be a problem?”

“Just a little.” He points into the tower, where skeletons swarm the first floor. There are many times more now, just like the zombies, and many screams can be heard from the levels above. They bang against an invisible barrier that keeps them from entering the town.

“Can we fight all of them?” She looks at Driller, who just shrugs.

Missingno walks up to the barrier. “I was thinking of using the energy to give you something, but I guess I’ll have to use it instead. Return Driller for me, will you?”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow, but she does it as he starts his plan. He throws the Poke Flute into the tower. As the skeletons follow and swarm it, Missingno picks Cassandra up by supporting under her knees and back. Before she can say anything, he steps inside the Pokemon Tower and a blast of force causes her to close her eyes.

Missingno used ExtremeSpeed!!!!!!!!!

Missingno begins to run faster than the human eye can see. So fast, that a blue sphere of air pressure surrounds them, shattering the skeletons as he runs through them. And not just some of them, Missingno crisscrosses until he has destroyed every single one. Finally, after 0.1 seconds, he moves up the stairs to the next level. He repeats the process with every level, making sure not a single one is left. 0.57 seconds after starting, Missingno destroys the skeletons on the sixth floor and stops near the stairs, where Cassandra is finally able to open her eyes again.

“W-what was that?”

Missingno lets her down. “You’ll… understand when we get to gen 2.” He ignores her confused gaze and moves on. “Sorry it took so long. I wanted to make sure I took care of them all.” Behind him, shards of bone are piled all across the floor. “The possession is much stronger this time, so I guess we’ll just have to take care of the King.” Missingno steps forward dramatically towards the stairs.

And is whacked by the Marowak spirit.

Chapter Text

Chapter 47- A Random BEAT DOWN!!!!!

“I think we have to take care of this first.” Cassandra takes a step back as the Marowak spirit brandishes her weapon for another fight.

“No problem. There is actually a glitch that allows you to move on by using a Poke Doll. You run from the fight, but the game can’t tell the difference between that and winning.” Missingno lobs an object at the spirit.

She catches it while glaring at him. She looks at what she caught, and her gaze softens. It is a Cubone doll, smiling at her. She drops her bone club and hugs it tightly. Tears flow down her face as she cries out.

Missingno kneels down and places a hand on her head. “I know that losing someone can be painful, but your son does not want you to beat yourself up for this. Take it from me.” He smiles. “He wants you to be happy.”

The Marowak spirit floats up, fading away even more. It gives a small wave as it moves on to the afterlife.

Missingno jumps up. “Wait! I never got that Poke Doll back! Mr. Fuji is going to be so mad…”

“Did you steal that from Mr. Fuji?”

“No… I just procured it through sneaky and unseen movements.”

“Still a definition of ‘steal’.”

“Onward!” Missingno points as he heads up the stairs.

Cassandra shakes her head as she follows a few steps behind him. “What was that back there, anyways?”

“Made a lot more sense than attacking her until she moved on for some reason. Plus, she deserved to leave happily.”

“No, not that. Even though that was really nice, I’m talking about before that.”

“Oh, ExtremeSpeed?... You’ll understand it next gen.” He waves her off as they continue to climb. They soon reach the top of the stairs, where the gas is covering the floor again.

Cassandra grabs Missingno’s arm. “Th… that’s poisonous gas, right?”

He puts a hand on her shaking shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of this.” He laughs. “And he combined with his Koffing, remember? Despite being completely filled with the stuff, it can’t learn the move Poison Gas. Even though Drowzee and Hypno can.”

He turns toward the dark hallway and walks a small ways through the gas. “Time to put a little more light on this situation.” He sets up a rigid Missingno nearby. He presses the button on the new Missingno’s forehead, flooding the area with light.

At the end of the hallway, the Tower King sits on his throne, although the seat has cracks all over it. The King cackles as it twirls the javelin between its blue, bone fingers. “Interesting way to counteract my troops.”

Missingno glares at him. “You accidentally said ‘troops’ instead of ‘slaves’.”

The Tower King throws the javelin into the ground, a small ways off. It gets up and meets his glare with its large eye. The ghost pupil grows larger as its jawbone shifts to the side. “You want to fight!? Fine! I’ll destroy you!” It walks quickly across the floor, gas still spilling from his mouth.

Missingno scoffs. “The word ‘fight’ would imply that you have some sort of chance.” He slowly approaches to meet the Tower King. The two stare at each other for a short while, Missingno smiling and the King grinding its teeth back and forth.

Enemy Tower King used Smog!

The Tower King leans back, and its ribs expand. A cloud of gas forms within the rib cage, ready to burst out. It rocks forward, a massive amount of gas erupting from its mouth. The stream completely covers Missingno, dividing him from the others.

Cassandra jumps back, but the gas hits against another invisible barrier right by the stairs. “Missingno! You can’t lose this fight!”

“Why does everyone keep considering this a fight?” From inside the poison stream, a fist emerges and hits the Tower King in the chest. It slides back a couple feet, but is generally unharmed.

As the gas falls to the floor, Missingno emerges completely fine. “As I said, you don’t have a chance.”

The Tower King cackles. “Very impressive. But just because you can be fine after that, doesn’t mean you have anything you can do against me!”

Missingno smirks. “Wanna bet?”

Missingno used Light Screen!

Cassandra raises an eyebrow as a shining purple barrier appears right in front of her.

The skeleton continues its raspy laughter. “Light Screen is usually most effective when between the two of us. Why did you separate your friend from us? My attacks can’t seem to reach her there, and you don’t have weapons like her.”

“Both of those are true, but my attacks aren’t friendly fire proof. Besides, you are misunderstanding something.” He smiles. “In normal stories, you have to previously talk about something in order to use it. People get confused when someone pulls a gun off a mantle that they didn’t know was there. I find it fun to use that type of writing,-” He leans forward against the nearby sign. “-but with my ability to glitch reality, I can create whatever I want. ” He pulls out a box of matches in one hand, and a single match in the other. In one fluid motion, he lights the match and drops it.

The Tower King’s pupil grows as the match reaches the gas all along the floor. The moment it touches, the flame lights the gas, causing a chain reaction. The compacted gas in the King’s chest explodes, throwing it back through the Granite Throne, shattering the chair. The skeleton hits the back wall, and struggles to get up with its heavily damaged bones.

Missingno steps over the remains of the broken throne as they glitch out of existence. He chuckles stiffly as he approaches his foe. “Why is it that whenever we find another old shadow of mine, it ends up scaring Cassandra?”

The Tower King cackles sporadically. “You were right. This was no ‘fight’.”

Missingno raises a sword and glares at the ghost pupil of its eye. “Yeah.” He slashes it down the middle, and after a bout of fuzzing, it disappears. “It was a beat down.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 48- A Random Timeskip

Missingno sits along a rock wall. “Just to let the readers know, after everything returned to normal in the Pokemon Tower, we checked in on Mr. Fuji. He made us some breakfast with his secret kitchen, and let us sleep at his place again. Sometime around noon, we finally parted with him and made our way into Route 8.”

What is with the recap?

“The chapters have been a little too long recently, and the plan for future chapters means that we need to cut back a little on the travel coverage.”

Isn’t this being written a couple weeks before other chapters are posted? Can’t you just edit previous chapters to cut some things?

“Noooooooo! I like the way it is! I don’t want to change anything!”

You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Missingno pulls out a cake. He takes a huge bite out of it, and it proceeds to grow back to its original shape. “Ha!”

Cassandra walks up. “I checked, but this guard to Saffron City won’t let us through either.”

Missingno throws the cake over his shoulder and shrugs. “That’s the plot.” He tucks Driller under his arm and heads north, towards the small shack.

Cassandra snatches her Pokemon back. “I don’t think so.”

“We have to go through the Underground Tunnel to get to Celadon City.”

“ That is fine. You don’t need to drag my Pokemon through whatever craziness you have planned in that place.”

“Fine. No craziness. I’ll just take us there.”

Cassandra backs up. “If you want to fly there, you can do that yourself. I’ll catch up.”

Missingno scoffs. “I wouldn’t use that again. We just have to wait for him to get back.” He holds out his arms and steps toward them.

Cassandra takes a few steps back. “I said, don’t-”

As she steps back again, she bumps into another Missingno. This one wraps his arms around her and Driller.

“SUPER AWESOME TELEPORT POWERS, ACTIVATE!”

Missingno used Teleport.

The three of them spin as they shoot straight up. When they reach a height well above the Saffron City skyscrapers, they float to the city just past it. They then spin as they fall straight down to land right in front of the Pokecenter.

When Missingno lets go of them, they stumble around.

“Wha- what was that?” She grabs her head to try to stabilize her vision. “How was that a ‘teleport’?”

“That is a good question. The answer to that is- Hey, look! The theatre!” He points to a large building in the middle of the street. The sign above it displays the upcoming musical.

‘ Random People Running and Screaming ’.

“Didn’t you talk about that a couple of days ag-” She turns back to Missingno, who is now in a suit and top hat. He holds a cane as he puts a monocle in his eye.

He speaks in a fancy accent. “Hello, my good chap. Great weather we have here. Then again, Kanto never has any real weather anyways. Here, son.” He places a Nugget in a nearby man’s shirt pocket. “Buy yourself something nice.”

“Wait, is that my Nugget?”

He looks to the right. “... No…. Hello, my name is Missingno.”

Cassandra smacks away his outstretched hand. “I know who you are.”

Missingno fixes his suit. “Come, chaps. Onto the-”

The theatre’s doors burst open as a crowd of random people run out, screaming.

“Whoa, chaps. Save it for the pref-”

The theatre blows up.

“What in chaps is-”

A couple of Team Rocket Launcher grunts run from the scene.

“... Ya’ll gonna die!” Missingno runs south and into the Game Corner.

Cassandra stands back near the Pokecenter, confused on everything. She looks at Driller, but he just shrugs.

She makes her way into the gambling center, where several machines in the back have been ripped out. A hole in the wall reveals a stairway down. A nearby Team Rocket Launcher grunt stands at a poster nearby.

“I could have opened it if he asked…”

Cassandra heads down the stairs and into the hideout. Waiting for her is half a dozen Team Rocket Launcher members.

One smirks. “Where do you think you’re going?”

Another gives a hearty laugh. “Boss was right to place guards at the front entrance.”

Another pulls out some Pokeballs. “And to tell us to not let intruders pass by even if we don’t have eye contact.”

They each send out a full set of Raticates and Golbats.

Cassandra and Driller raise their hands.

The gang members lead the duo down the elevator, and into a large room. There are machines along the back, and a large desk in the middle.

“Uh, is your boss supposed to be here?” She turns around, but the members are gone. Instead, she sees Missingno briefly as he slips out of the room. She walks out of the room to see him head up an emergency staircase. She looks at the staircase, then at Driller, then back at the staircase.

Then she takes the elevator.

When she reaches the top level of the underground hideout, she sees Missingno again, rounding another corner. She walks quickly to catch up to him, but only catches a glimpse of him as he heads back up to the Game Corner. They keep doing this, as Cassandra and Driller follow him outside and around corners, until they see him slip into a hotel in the southeast corner of the city.

Cassandra opens the door to a hotel full of Team Rocket Launcher members. They turn to face them.

“Um… I’m gonna go.” She steps back into a couple of Rocket Launcher guards. “You guys aren’t going to fly me through the air and take me on a ridiculous journey, are you?”

“... No?”

She sighs. “Thank goodness.” She follows the guards into the hotel.

Missingno waves. “Hi Cassandra!”

“... Missingno. Why are you wearing a Team Rocket Launcher uniform?”

He shrugs. “Cause can. They're starting me out as a grunt, but if I prove myself, it won’t be long before I’m a full-fledged member!”

A Team Rocket Launcher member approaches him. “Boss will see you now.”

Missingno pushes past him as he kneels before a computer. “Boss, I have something for you.”

A Porygon shows up on the monitor and looks down at him. A mechanical voice comes from the speakers. “Thank you, new recruit.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 49- A Random Betrayal

The Porygon on the screen looks down at Missingno. “Present your offering.”

Missingno holds up Cassandra’s side bag. “Look, it’s… pretty cool. It’s got… some Antidotes.” He pulls out some spray bottles. “There’s uh… like, 7 more in here. Wait! I want to see which one Cassandra is going to comment on first.”

Cassandra looks at her bag, then to where her bag used to be, then at the computer screen. She leers at Missingno. “I’m still on the fact that you joined these guys.”

The Porygon scoffs. “I gave him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”

“It sent out an Ekans.”

Cassandra continues to leer. “Still not an offer.”

Missingno grins. “And it used Conversion. So I became converted.”

I don’t think that is how that move works.

The Porygon coughs. “New recruit, do you think this is enough to rise in rank?”

“Oh, come on! I stole Cassandra’s bag.”

“I don’t care about it.”

“Well, I robbed that one place.”

“You robbed the Game Corner.”

“I even tied up Driller.”

Cassandra looks over at her Pokemon, who is tied up in a yarn ball.

“Now all we need is a cat. Or, like… actually, I don’t think there is a joke to play off of that. Maybe a strange dog that grew up around a bunch of cats?”

You’re slipping.

“Hey! You try doing this for 49 whole chapters!”

“Despite the weird talking to yourself, you have shown some real promise. Fine, by the power vested in me, by me and this voice program that allows me to talk, I make you a Rocket Launcher member. Now you can enjoy the perks that come with it. Besides being able to visit the beach resort we have, we also have the RL store, where I have decreed any Pokemon can be bought if you have enough money. Even other member’s Pokemon. Although, most of these idiots still choose Rattatas and Zubats for some reason.”

Missingno runs past the computer and up to the counter. He smiles at the woman in charge of the list as he scrolls through the available targets. “Cool, you have every single Pokemon here for sale.”

The Porygon shrugs. “Yeah, the legendaries aren’t the real ones. I found some cheat codes online.”

“I know exactly which Pokemon I want to buy.” He points at the computer. “I want to buy that Porygon.”

The Porygon looks around the room. “WHAT?! You can’t buy me!”

The woman behind the desk addresses him. “Boss, you did say any Pokemon.”

“Well, in that case, I cost 2,550,000 Pokedollars. Do you have the money for that?!”

Missingno pulls out a handful of Antidotes from Cassandra’s bag. “We don’t really need these. I’ll just toss them.” He throws them over his shoulder. He then turns it over and shakes it. From the sparkling portal, 510 Nuggets tumble out. “Do you take payment in Nuggets?”

The woman looks at the pile. “How many is this?”

“Didn’t you just see what it said… right, you can’t read descriptions. Five hundred and ten.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Where did you get all those?!”

“Well, it plays off an old trick that starts when you meet me. Your sixth Item is increased by 128 duplicates. You bought those Potions and Antidotes, I put in some Revives, and then you picked up that Helix Fossil. You had that TM, which I replaced with the Max Revive, and then the Nugget made six. The glitch only works if you have 127 copies or less, so I had to get rid of two. I threw one to the Werechamps, then I took another one out and tricked you into thinking it was one that was tossed. And after I gave another to some guy, I could introduce myself again and add another 128.”

The Porygon laughs dryly. “That’s only 255.”

“And that is where it got dangerous. When you toss all the copies of an Item before the set of 255, the game gets confused, and creates a second copy of 255. But then the last Item in your bag becomes the new Cancel button. So I had to make sure the last item was something insignificant. Like an Escape Rope.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Wait, I’m still confused. I’m still stuck on some part about adding 128 copies, is that what you said?”

He sighs. “Nevermind.”

The woman behind the counter smiles at him. “I’m sorry. Nuggets are only transferable if you have a RL store gift card to transfer the points to.”

The Porygon does a flip on the screen. “HA! Take that!”

Missingno holds up the card he got on the Nugget Bridge.

“Alright, sir. The Porygon is all yours.” The woman hands him a Pokeball.

Missingno looks at the Pokemon. “I’m going to name you Bye. Return! Bye!”

A red beam shoots into the computer, pulling the Porygon into the ball prison. Despite being separated, the computer still talks for it.

“Really? Bye? That’s my nickname?! I am a creature that found its way through cyberspace to the Team Rocket homepage. I changed the name of this organization, and switched the leader to myself. I set up better defences for our base here and our operation in Mt. Moon. I couldn’t contact our people in the Pokemon Tower, but I have changed the rest of this organization into a wonder. Unlike the last leader, I stay in this hotel in order to not be associated with it in case of a police raid. I have done all that, and you think you can control me?!”

“Nah, I’m just gonna put you into the PC and release you.”

“Ha! By the time you take me all the way to the Pokecenter, I’ll have hacked this Pokeball and gained my freedom!”

Missingno walks over to the east wall of the hotel. Halfway down the wall, he stands facing towards the counter. He pushes the air like he would a button.

Missingno turned on the PC.

“What?!” At the small ding of the PC turning on, both the Porygon and Cassandra jump.

“Yeah, this hotel uses the Pokecenter map. And while they took the sprite out, they forgot to unprogram the PC feature here, so there is an invisible one you can activate.”

Missingno enters Bill’s PC and deposits Bye. He then moves to the release feature and selects the glitched Pokemon.

Bye was released outside. Bye, Bye!

“It was a good Bye.”

Enough with the puns.

Chapter Text

Chapter 50- A Random Plot Piece

Cassandra looks around the hotel. The Team Rocket Launcher members seem confused as they leave. As they pass by, she notices that their shirts only have a large R on them now. After they have all gone, she walks up to Missingno.

And smacks him upside the head.

“What was that for?”

“For tricking us into thinking that you joined the bad guys.”

Missingno laughs. “There is no way I would actually do that. It’s a lot more fun to mess around alongside you guys.”

“You mean it’s more fun to mess with us.”

“That too. Let’s grab Driller and go.” He spins, switching out of the gang uniform and back to his normal get-up. He looks at where they left Driller.

He is still stuck in the yarn ball, and a cream colored cat Pokemon is swatting it around.

Missingno smacks the Meowth with a broom. “Bad kitty! Get out of here!”

It hisses, but runs as he smack the broom down again.

Cassandra looks at the complex weaves that trap him. “How are we going to do this?”

He shrugs. “Just have him use Twi Needle.”

A set of large, green spears tear through the yarn ball. A few more times, and the yarn is loose enough to unwrap him.

After he is free, he flies up and down, jabbing with his spears.

Missingno smiles. “Looks like you are raring to fight someone. Too bad we have to move on.” He grabs Driller and Cassandra and starts dragging them toward the western edge of the city. “Lots of places to go, lots of cheese to eat.”

Cassandra gets out of his grip. “Missingno! Me and Driller are still pretty exhausted from last night!” She crosses her arms. “Besides, I thought after then, we would take things a little slower. Maybe only a few glitches each day.”

“I would love to, but we are already really behind the glitch that is effecting everything, so we need to pick up the pace before anything bad happens.” He holds up a large wheel of provolone. “Man, I really like cheese.”

“WAIT A SECOND!” Cassandra holds up a hand. “WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?!?!”

“I was just saying how much I like cheese, no need to-”

“Before that!”

“Uh… I said ‘lots of places to go, lots of cheese to’-”

“Between the cheese statements.”

“Uhhhhhh… The part about catching up to the glitch behind everything?”

“YES!”

“Did I not tell you about that?”

“NO! Are you saying that there is another big glitch out there?!”

“Of course. Glitches can appear from time to time, but there is no way this many randomly popped up. Especially with how strong they are. There has to be something else that is traveling around, glitching everything in it’s path.”

“Wow. What is it? This big glitch?”

Missingno shrugs. “Not a clue.”

“Do you know where it is?”

“Nope. Unfortunately, someone forgot to give me the ability to track down glitches.”

The writer says that the plot works better like this, so suck it up.

“The only reason I figured out where the Pokemon Tower glitch was because I could feel the presence of the form of my old shadow.”

Cassandra rubs her temples. “Ok, I understand the situation better now, but we can’t just rush this. We can’t just fight one glitch after another. You need to relax more.”

“HOW CAN I RELAX WHEN PEOPLE COULD BE IN DANGER?!” Missingno breathes heavily.

Cassandra waits for him to calm down. “Look, I get it. And I was fine with you running around at full speed, but the incident at the Pokemon Tower showed me something. You aren’t invincible.”

He throws his hands in the air. “But I’m giving it 110 percent!”

“Which isn’t good all the time.” She folds her arms. “I was once part of a sports team. I wanted to give it my all, just like you are now. I thought that the intense practices wasn’t enough for me, and I began to do my own practice all the time. I pushed myself beyond my limits, and ended up wrecking my ankle. I couldn’t participate in games, and had to just sit on the sidelines. It was there that I realized that I couldn’t be of any help if I couldn’t keep myself in good condition. 110 percent is great in the heat of the battle, but you need to learn to slow down and relax at times.”

Missingno scratches the back of his neck. “I… I think I see what you are saying. But still!”

She sighs. “Let’s just take it one step at a time. We’re going to the Department Store if you want to join us. At the end of the day, if you still feel the same way, we can talk it out again.”

Missingno looks away in a huff. He looks around at the clouds, the buildings, the pond. He tries to ignore them, but their stares eventually bring his focus back. Cassandra’s and Driller’s gazes pierce through him, causing him to look away again. He shifts his weight back and forth, but his expressions softens. “... Fine. But I doubt my mind will be changed!”

“That’s fine.” Cassandra and Driller head off towards the towering building in the northeast part of the city.

Do you want me to do another timeskip?

“No. I rushed a lot of things recently, I think I’m gonna just go with it for now. I’ll let you know if I change my mind.”

He runs to catch up with the others. As they walk, Missingno takes a good look around. The store isn’t very far away, but there is plenty to see in that short time.

Celadon City truly is worthy of being called a ‘city’. The large buildings that lumber over everything, the many people that wander the streets. Pidgeys roost overhead, while Meowths slink around in alleys.

As they get close to the giant store, a breeze blows through the city. Many people, Cassandra included, grab at their hats to keep them in place. Missingno shivers, and is about to yell at the wind, but stops himself. Instead, he closes his eyes and just lets the wind flow through him.

“Missingno, are you coming or what?” Cassandra calls to him as she enters the store.

Missingno gives a half smile as he follows suit.

Chapter Text

Chapter 51- A Random Store

Cassandra looks over the board by the receptionist. “I think I want to visit all the floors. Where are you going, Missingno?”

She turns to find a crowd of Missingnos standing in the lobby.

“Ha! You are going to visit each floor, but we are going to invade each floor! Onward, men!” The crowd cheers as they storm up the stairs.

“Sounds like you are in a much better mood than earlier.”

“That’s because I put all my grumpiness in that guy.” He points to the corner, where a Missingno with a furrowed brow is muttering to himself.

“Whatever, I’m going to head up.” Cassandra heads up the stairs to the second floor.

When she gets there, a bunch of Missingnos are scouring the racks of Items.

“They have plenty of Great Balls, but no Pokeballs!”

“How can that be?”

“I say we start a riot!”

“YEAH!!!!!”

“Hey, guys. Look at this shiny disk.”

The other Missingnos drop everything as they become entranced by the TM. “What attack is it?”

“I don’t know, it just says ‘TM 02’.” One of them closely examines it. Emerging from the disk, strips of wind scratch his face. “... I think it’s Double Team.”

Cassandra watches in silence before heading up to the next floor. There, she sees a Missingno talk to a man over the counter.

The man holds up a disk. “Oh, hi! I just finished Pokemon! Not done yet? This might be useful!”

“Thanks!” The Missingno grabs and rips up a piece of the counter. He turns to the others. “Look! I got TM 18!”

Another one walks up to him. “Let’s see what it does.” He lightly punches the first Missingno in the arm.

And the Missingno hits him across the face with the Counter. He looks at the Missingno, laying motionless on the floor. “... I think it’s Double Team.”

Cassandra shakes her head and decides to head up again.

“Wait! I haven’t even mentioned how everyone is playing Pokemon IN the Pokemon world! What is with that?!”

Cassandra ignores the wailing Missingno as she heads up. She reaches the top of the stairs as another Missingno is listening to someone brag about their relationship with their girlfriend.

“And then I decided to get a Poke Doll for her!”

The Missingno raises an eyebrow. “Poke Dolls are distractions so that you can run away. Is that what you are trying to do?!”

Cassandra pushes past several other Missingnos as she heads for the stairs.

She looks back at them. “You’re not going to try and stop me?”

One shrugs. “That was the only joke for this floor. You should go to the next floor, though. We have this awesome joke about steroids.”

The one next to him smacks him upside the head. “Don’t spoil the jokes!”

“At least I didn’t talk about how we would ask for steroids, and the guy would say that he only has medicines to make Pokemon stronger and faster, and then we would say ‘Yeah, that’s what I said’.”

The Missingno smacks him again. “Shut up already!”

Cassandra sighs as she pushes past them and heads for the elevator.

She pushes through the Missingnos crowded in the elevator. She looks for the button to go up. “Um, can I get to the rooftop from here?”

A Missingno laughs. “Technically, no. But when haven’t I been able to do something?” He punches through the buttons. The elevator lurches upwards.

When it reaches the rooftop, she walks out to find everything around the building is pitch black. “Is it already that late?”

“Not quite, but the map just can’t extend beyond that.” A Missingno rubs his chin. “Although, you can’t Fly off this roof… Could this actually still be part of the inside?!”

As that Missingno examines the black sides, another one runs up to her. He smiles as he holds some disks in her face.

“...” Cassandra glares at him and speaks in monotone. “Gee, Missingno. Whatever could those be?”

“I’m glad you asked. These are three TMs I got from a little girl. I don’t know how much it cost her parents, but that was the best 850 Pokedollars I ever spent. Sucker.”

Another Missingno runs up. “Apparently, she’s a trainer!”

“No way! She’s, like, 6!”

“We are talking about the world where 10 year olds gain all-powerful Pokemon with control over nature, emotions, and the physical world.”

“True.”

Cassandra walks up to one of the Missingnos, who has a broom resting on his shoulder. “Can I borrow that?”

“My broom? If I were to give this to you, you could use this to drive us all away.”

“... I promise I won’t.”

“Oh, in that case.” He hands her the broom.

She takes it and starts hitting the Missingnos with it.

“Run! She tricked us! I totally didn’t see this coming!”

The crowd of Missingnos flail as they run from Cassandra’s swipes.

-----------------------------------------------------

Cassandra flops down on one the beds in the hotel. “I ate SOOOOO many waffles.”

Missingno crosses his arms. “That was MY thing. And you actually DID eat waffles.”

“I’m sorry that I can’t change pancakes into other things.”

“That’s okay. I forgive you.” He squats in the corner. “Good night.”

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “There is a whole other bed, you know.”

“For me?!” He flops onto the bed on the other side of the nightstand, beaming. “Wow, they even have a Beedrill shaped bed for Driller.”

Did you mean a Beedrill sized bed?

“Nah, that wouldn’t be as cool.”

Cassandra sits up and stretches. “So, have you made a decision?”

He shrugs. “I decided that I like waffles.”

“... I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.”

Cassandra turns off the lamp on the nightstand and settles into bed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 52- A Random Broom

Missingno and Cassandra sit in a diner, waiting for their food in the soft morning light.

Missingno waves his fork in the air. “Wa~ffles! Wa~ffles! Wa~ffles!”

Is that going to be a thing now?

“Ma~ybe! Ma~ybe! Ma-”

“Missingno!” Cassandra slams a hand on the table. “Our waffles are here already, so cut it out. You aren’t going to make that a thing, are you?”

He opens his mouth, but her stare makes him reconsider. He turns to Driller, who is sitting in a high chair. “You’re with me, right?”

Driller looks at him, shrugs, and goes back to eating waffles. Which still consists of him putting his face on it and letting it absorb into his skin.

“Still cool.” He turns back to Cassandra. “So what are we doing today?”

“We still need to beat Eri-”

Missingno jabs a finger at her. “THE SAME THING WE DO EVERY NIGHT! TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!”

“... What?”

“Nevermind. We should really finish eating so we can fight Erika.”

“Driller and I are already done. You still have your giant pile left.” She looks up to the top of the tower of waffles. “How many is that? 30?”

“Ha! More like 50!”

Cassandra stands up. “We’re gonna go. Catch up when you are done.”

“Wait!” Missingno starts stuffing waffles in his pockets. “You didn’t leave a tip!”

“Why would I leave a tip? This place is just something you made.”

He puts his hand on his heart. “Why would you say that?”

She gestures to the workers rushing around. “Probably because you are the waiter, the cook, the bus boy, the dishes guy, even that ‘broom holder’.” A Missingno near the door waves at them as he balances several customer’s brooms.

“Fine. Let’s go.” The original Missingno grabs a broom and pushes Cassandra out the door, into the streets of Celadon City. The building they just left sits next to the hotel. They walk beside a line of trees that travels along the street towards the gym.

Driller flies up and down in small circles

Missingno laughs. “Looks like you are anxious to fight something.” He turns to Cassandra. “I know you don’t want to, but we should go fight Erika.”

She glares at him. “Whatever. Are you just going to leave that thing as is?” She jabs her thumb at the diner.

“Yeah. The diner down the street never seems to be open, and I’m broke after buying all these TMs.” Missingno holds up a large collection of disks. He eats them, swings the broom over his shoulder and points. “Onward!”

Cassandra rolls her eyes as she follows behind Missingno, who is marching down the street. They don’t go far before they reach a scraggly tree blocking the trail towards the gym. Missingno takes a step back and winds up the broom like a golf club. With a powerful swing, a gust of wind lifts the tree out of the ground, roots and all. Missingno whistles as he walks through his opened path.

They make it to the Celadon Gym, where an old man is looking through the window.

Missingno stares at him. “... You are a creepy old man.”

“Thank you.”

“Normal people would run if they were caught doing this.”

“I am not ‘normal people’.”

“That’s for sure! Don’t you think so, Cassan-” He turns around, but she is nowhere to be seen. “Hey, old man. Have you seen my friend?”

“Yeah, she went inside a while ago.”

Missingno bolts into the gym. He spots her along the wall, finishing a battle with a Jr. Trainer Girl.

“MAN! I didn’t get to do my thing…” Missingno’s shoulders slump as he looks at the floor. “It’s been a while, and I was hoping to do it again…”

Cassandra brushes some vines off of Driller. “Is it really that important?”

“To create something that readers will immediately associate with my character? This is even more important than Driller not being hit by Toxic right now!”

She raises an eyebrow. “I got none of that.”

In regards to the second part, if a Pokemon in gen 1 is both badly poisoned and hit with Leech Seed, the Leech Seed increases damage every turn, like with Toxic.

“Hey! I wanted to say that!” He crosses his arms. “Today is not my day.”

Cassandra sighs. “If you really want to, I can’t get past these trees to Erika. You can say it while cutting it down.”

Missingno weakly swings the broom. “Hey-yo…” The wall of trees surrounding the gym leader are cut down with large blades of wind.

“What was that?”

He shrugs weakly. “Peck, maybe? That’s a Flying type attack, right? I needed one of those to beat their Grass type Pokemon.”

“What was that!?” She looks at the line of trainers, and the group of fainted Pokemon at their feet. “Why!?”

“Don’t worry. I left Erika for you.”

“... Thanks.” Cassandra glares as she shoves past him. “Erika! I am Cassandra, possessor of three Gym Badges. I’m here to claim my fourth!”

The elegant woman before them remains kneeling as she greets her guests. “Hello. Lovely weather isn’t it?” She smoothes out the wrinkles of her simple kimono.  

Missingno sighs. “We’re here to fight you.”

“It’s so pleasant.” She fixes a strand of hair that is slightly out of place.

“We’re here to fight you.”

“...Oh dear… I must have dozed off.”

“We’re here to fight you.”

“Welcome. My name is Erika. I am the leader of Celadon Gym.”

“We already know that. Also, we’re here to fight you.”

“I teach the art of flower arranging. My Pokemon are of the grass-type.”

“We’re here to fight you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I had no idea that you wished to challenge me.”

“Really?! Even if I hadn’t said anything, you think that would have been obvious. What do you think we are doing here? Not to mention, we have been fighting the other trainers for a while now. I’m not sure how you didn’t piece that together!”

Cassandra rubs her temples. “Can I ask why she has a Pokeball floating in front of her?”

Erika holds out her hands, cupped to catch the Pokeball that just hangs there.

“Best you don’t. All the Gym Leaders in this gen have really weird poses. I thought you got over it by Lt. Surge. He was squatting strangely.”

“I think I was distracted by the crazy things he was saying.”

“Yeah, that was weird…”

Chapter Text

Chapter 53- A Random Twi Needle

A Beauty kneels down next to Erika and slides forward a board with several Pokeballs on it.

“Thank you very much.” She looks back to her challengers. “I will be using these three Pokemon. Shall we begin?”

“Finally! Go, Driller!” She has her Pokemon Harden six times before it starts, so he is ready to go.

“Fight, Victreebel.” Erika calmly throws a Pokeball around the one floating in the air. From it, a yellow and green spotted Pokemon emerges.

The large, upside down bell shaped Pokemon before them gives out… some sort of… rolling pitch cry… how do I describe it?

“Trying to give an onomatopoeia for Pokemon cries is ridiculously hard. I find it easier to just go with the anime and have them say their name.”

Good idea. So the Pokemon screams its name out as it flaps the long leaves it uses as arms near the base. The mouth at the top of its head salivates as it stares down Driller, and a long vine twitches as it readies the spike at the end of it.

Missingno throws his hands in the air. “Too many descriptions! Move the fight along already!”

The Victreebel strikes at Driller with its spiked vine. He narrowly avoids it, and points a spear at his foe.

Driller used Twi Needle!

One large, green projectile pierces the large Pokemon, sending it to the floor.

It’s super effective!

Enemy Victreebel fainted!

Cassandra stares at the defeated Pokemon. “Wow, that was fast.”

“Well, it is a Grass/Poison type. Bug type moves do four times the damage.”

She turns to face Missingno. “It doubles against Poison types? You would think that Poison would deal double against Bug.”

“It does that too.” He rubs his chin. “The strange happenings of Gen 1. Is there no end? By the way, her Tangela is already attacking.”

Cassandra looks back to the battle, where a ball of blue vines is striking out with one vine after another. Somewhere in the middle of it all, two eyes glare out of the creeping plant. Driller is still managing to dodge each attack, but before he can aim an attack of his own, he has to dodge again.

Cassandra clenches her fists. “This is bad! If it grabs him, we’ll be in a tight spot.”

“Especially since in Gen 1, attacks like Wrap and Bind don’t allow the opponent to attack back while in effect.” Missingno perks up. “Right, Driller just leveled up to 25 and learned Rage.”

“As a sixth attack?”

“Yup.”

“Driller, do it!”

Driller used Rage!

He bursts through a tangle of vines and screeches… buzzes… forget it, it screams its name.

“BEEDRILL!” He flies in to strike at the eyes.

And is captured in a mass of blue vines.

Enemy Tangela used Bind!

“Hey Driller! That Tangela thinks you’re a wimp!”

Driller’s Rage is building!

Enemy’s attack continues!

Driller’s Rage is building!

He isn’t hurt very much each time, but his howling becomes louder and louder. After a few more times, he stabs his way out of the attack. He plows through some more vines, and stabs the foe’s body. It flies back and hits a tree, where it becomes stuck in the dent it made.

It’s super effective!

Enemy Tangela fainted !

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “I know he was really powerful by now, but that seems a little too much.”

“That’s because it was a super effective attack.”

“How is that? Rage is Normal type.”

“Maybe, but Twineedle is Bug type, and that move’s description is that it stabs with a spear. So wouldn’t anything that uses the spears also be Bug type?”

“That… sort of makes sense.”

Erika sends out her last Pokemon. The Flower Pokemon shakes the large red petals on its head, preparing to use-

Driller used Rage!

It’s super effective.

At his attack, the foe flies back and crashes into the Tangela, completely breaking through the tree and into the wall in the back.

Enemy Vileplume fainted!

You crushed Erika!

Cassandra fist pumps as Driller flies up and down in little circles.

Erika remains kneeling, the floating Pokeball still in the same place. “Oh! I concede defeat.You are remarkab-”

“Boring part! Narrator, use that long bar thing that symbolizes a timeskip.”

-----------------------------------------------------

So, are we back to doing this?

Missingno shrugs as he wanders around the outside of the Pokecenter. “Just sometimes. With boring parts like how we get the RainbowBadge and leave to heal up Driller. I mean, there was that part in between where we fought with a bunch of Pinsirs to avoid a nuclear disaster… but no one wants to hear about that.”

I want to hear about that!

“Well, what happened was- Hey! Cassandra’s done.”

Jerk.

Cassandra exits the Pokecenter with Driller in tow. “So, I guess we can move onto the next gym now.” She glares at Missingno. “Are we going to take the normal route, where I can train Beedrill, who is apparently still only level 25, or are you going to do something crazy that will take us directly there?”

Missingno laughs. “I guess we’ll leave our fate to chance.” He pulls out a round, golden Pokedollar coin. “Heads, I use a Rocket Punch. Tails, I gain the power to control all black holes.” He flips the coin into the air.

As it falls, Cassandra snatches it in midair. She pockets the money and walks towards the western exit.

“Wait! That’s cheating!”

Chapter Text

Chapter 54- A Random Lazy Pokemon… And A Snorlax

Missingno crosses his arms. “Wow! Not cool, man!”

Don’t look at me, I didn’t make the chapter title. Plus, can you really say that when you are laying on a kid’s wagon, with Driller pulling you along.

The wagon squeaks along as Driller struggles to pull him down the small path. Cassandra walks up to him, grabbing her Pokemon back.

“Don’t harass Driller.”

“But I’m la~zy.”

“Then make one of those clones of yourself, and have that pull you.”

Missingno snaps, and a clone pops up.

The clone then fall on its face, rigid. “I’m la~zy.”

Cassandra shrugs. “Guess you’ll just have to put in some effort yourself.”

Missingno struggles to get up. He eventually gets to a kneeling position in the wagon. He grabs the handle, and a motor starts up. He grabs and throws the clone to the side. Pushing the handle, the motor revs as the wagon lurches forward.

He zooms past Cassandra and Driller and farther into Route 16. Cassandra rolls her eyes, and takes her time as she strolls after him. She looks at the vast sky, dotted sparingly with white clouds. She stops momentarily as a family of Rattatas run by, led by a Raticate into the forest.

She smiles as she continues down the path again. It isn’t long before they catch up.

Missingno is still riding around in the wagon, but a large mass is blocking the way. He drives into it, bounces back, and tries again. After watching him repeat the action several times, she smacks him upside the head.

“If it hasn’t worked yet, I don’t think another 40 tries will do much good.” She looks at the large blue mass, and then to the tan that topped it. “What is this?”

“It’s Snorlax. Can’t you tell by the cute look on his face?”

Cassandra looks around the mass. She notices the limbs that lie around lazily. His head is leaned against a tree, breathing peacefully.

“Um… is it asleep?”

“Yes, and the only way to wake it up is to use the Poke Flute.”

“Didn’t you alter that awhile ago?”

“Yes, but the real question is why can’t you fight it like any other wild Pokemon?”

Cassandra looks at the Snorlax, then at Driller. “... Twi Needle?”

Driller continuously shoots green projectiles into the Snorlax’s side.

Wild Snorlax fainted!

After a few seconds, Snorlax is knocked unconscious… which is hard to tell, since his eyes are always closed and his limbs were already limp.

Cassandra looks to Missingno. “So… what now?”

Missingno sits up in the wagon. “I don’t know. The game usually takes care of fainted Pokemon.”

With a big yawn, Snorlax returned to the mountains!

A large mechanical claw descends from above and grabs the Snorlax like in a crane game. It lifts the Pokemon up and out of sight.

Cassandra watches as it leaves, but soon finds that Missingno has already moved on.

And is now trying to drive his wagon through the door. Unsuccessfully.

Cassandra walks up and opens the door for him.

He drives alongside the counter, pausing abruptly when the man behind the counter yells.

“Excuse me! Wait up please!” The uniformed man at the counter holds up his hand.

Missingno returns his glare with a blank stare of his own. Keeping eye contact, he whispers to Cassandra. “He can only focus on one person at a time. Slip by while he’s distracted.”

“Are you sure that’s okay? Don’t we need a bike for this road?”

“Don’t worry about it, what is he gonna do?”

He could arrest you.

“Please. No real officer would be assigned to guard a biking route. He is probably just a mall cop.”

Cassandra coughs loudly. “I did it, what now?”

Missingno pushes the handle forward. As the tires spin wildly in place, he yells, “B!”

He jolts forward before pausing in the air again.

The officer-

“Mall cop.”

… The mall cop yells again. “No pedestrians are allowed on Cycling Road!”

“B!” Missingno’s wheels spin forward again. The wagon moves back toward the mall cop before shooting forward…

And ramming through the wall.

Cassandra sighs, and opens the door to leave. The view outside breathes as the afternoon begins to creep in. Cycling Road is a protected area, and is kept clean throughout the year. The many bikers that hang out on the roadway chat away aimlessly as they wait for trainers to battle. She thinks back to the guard and his determination to keep those without bikes out. She looks down…

And finds herself on a bike.

“What is this?!”

Missingno drives back up to her. “That is what we normal people like to call, ‘a bike’.”

Cassandra glares at him.

“Oh, you mean what is it doing here? If you do the glitch to pass by without a bike, you still get on a bike when you leave the building.”

“So this bike came out of nowhere?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Another Missingno slumps over the nearby fence. “I got you this HM. It took a lot of effort to obtain… I had to Cut down, like, one tree.” He limply tosses a jet pack at Driller.

1, 2, and… Poof! Driller forgot Don’tFly! And…

Driller learned ActuallyUseTheWingsItHas!

“... That is way too long.”

Fine.

Driller learned FlyAroundReallyFast!

“Better.”

Cool, now you can go catch Cassandra.

He looks over at Cassandra, who is trying to sneak away towards the trainers on her bike.

“Oh, no you don’t!” He pushes the handle forward, racing after her.

Chapter Text

Chapter 55- A Random Return

As the purple slime monster begins to raise its giant hand, the protagonists and the spear bee ready themselves to take the blow head on.

But the young man with the grey, spotted hair suddenly dives to the side, and he runs into an invisible wall. “Hey!” He rubs his nose as he complains. “Who led us to complete doom in this dead end?!”

The girl and her pet leer at their traveling companion. “That would be you.”

“Ouch! My Defense definitely lowered from that!” The young man grasps at his heart as he comedically writhes in pain.

She sighs, but the monster’s roar attracts their attention again. It raised the large purple hand above its head, and the attack begins to descend towards them.

The young man shrugs at the other two. “Sorry.”

They prepare for the descending doom, but at the last moment a ninja appears above them. He cries out as the poison sears through his clothes and into his back.

The girl's eyes widen as she yells out his name. “Ko-!”

Waaaaaaaaaait just one second.

Missingno sighs and jumps out of the setting. “What is it this time?”

Don't give me that ‘What's wrong?’ look. What is this?

“Intrigue. Suspense. Climax. I thought you of all disembodied voices would know that.”

Yeah, but the problem is when you are doing it. We start up again after so long, but this part is a lot farther in the future. Can you imagine how many people went to the last chapter, wondering what they were missing?

“No.” He smiles. “Get it? Cause you said missing, and then i finished the word for you.” Missingno tries to contain his laughter.

First, that was horrible. Second, that was horrible.

“Ha.”

And third, stop skipping parts. Nobody likes stuff out of order!

“What?!” Missing throws down a copy of Into the Wild. “Last time I ever read online book reviews.” He huffs. “Fine, back to the beginning!”

--------------------

Earlier that day, Missingno and Cassandra reach the end of Route 17. Cassandra breathes heavily as she props up herself and her bike. Missingno just laughs.

“Too slow, little girl. I have come out victorious, and you weren't able to fight a single person! Now don't you feel silly!” He laughs from the little red wagon he is sitting in.

His laughter is quickly cut short as she kicks the wagon over.

Cassandra bikes into the building at the end of the Route, and finds herself without a bike anymore. She ignores the guard, who tries to tell her that she can't enter the Route without a bike, and into the city. Waiting for her, leaning against a sign, is Missingno.

He smirks at her, waiting.

She glares at him, and speaks in monotone. “Wow. However did you get here before me?”

“Ha! Joke’s on you! I've been in Pewter City this whole time!”

“This is Fuscia City.” Cassandra points out the sign behind him.

“... Wait, what are we doing here, then?”

She shakes her head, and enters the city.

The city, sitting by the ocean, gives a rural feel that is slowly being clutched by modernization. The zoo seems be creeping further and further into the lives of the villagers. In fact, Cassandra notices very few actual residents, and a lot more visitors wandering about.

After surveying the city, Cassandra notices Driller, who is still flying around the sky with a jetpack. She calls him down, and as he approaches, the jetpack disappears.

“I’ll be honest, I wasn’t the biggest fan at first, but I am loving the jetpack idea. Who came up with that?” Missingno appears at her side in a ninja costume, trying to look intimidating. His head is exposed except for a metal headband, pulling back his grey, speckled hair. His face is twisted into an expression that looks more like he is constipated than angry.

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “What's with the costume?”

“.............”

She sighs. “It was your idea.”

He throws his fists in the air. “Yeah! I'm awesome!”

Cassandra leers at him.

“Ouch! I think you just lowered my Defense!”

She rolls her eyes, and turns to leave. She jumps back as she almost runs into another ninja. This time it is much more intimidating.

“Really, Missingno? Don't scare me like that.” Out of the corner of her eye, she notices that Missingno is standing off to the side, violently shaking his head.

Realizing what is happening, she slowly turns back. The ninja is completely covered except for his eyes, and the outfit is very simplistic. The only interesting part is the long scarf that hangs around his neck.  

His voice is low and gruff, and he takes a fighting stance as he pulls out a short blade. “You guys smell like that thing. I don't know what you are, but die!”

The ninja lunges forward, and swings his blade. Cassandra raises her arms to guard herself, but nothing happens. She looks up, and finds the ninja looking at a rock in his hand.

“... Did you just turn my tanto into a rock?”

“Yup!” Missingno smiles as he gives Cassandra a thumbs up.

The ninja jumps back and pulls out throwing knives… Or, at least he tried to, but all he pulls out is a handful of rocks.

This time, his voice is higher and squeaky. “What?! What kind of ninjutsu is this?!”

Wait, is he actually a she?

“Maybe.” The ninja Missingno appears behind the enemy and pulls their mask off.

The ninja immediately sets off a smoke bomb. As he jumps out of the cloud cover, he has already wrapped a scarf into a makeshift mask. “What was that for?!”

As the smoke starts to clear, Missingno coughs and waves the rest away. “That’s my line! All I wanted was to know if you are a girl cleverly disguised as a dude in order to pass off as a strong ninja.”

“I’m not a girl! Why would you think that?!”

Missingno shrugs. “Just a random, anime cliche that seemed highly probable in this situation. It happens a lot. Like, A LOT!”

Right?!

Chapter Text

Chapter 56- A Random Circus

Missingno flips through a script. “So, if you aren’t a girl, than who are you? And why are you hiding your face? And why isn’t this giving me any answers?!” He throws the script on the ground.

Cause spoilers.

Missingno jabs a finger at the ninja. “Who are you?!”

The ninja puts up his arms to ready a battle stance. “Why do I have to tell you? Shouldn’t you introduce yourself first?”

He starts to fume. “I’m Missingno! That’s Cassandra! Now, WHO ARE YOU?!”

The ninja doesn’t back down. “My name is Koja. That’s all you’re getting.”

Missingno’s breath finally starts to calm down, although his face still wrinkles in irritation. “What? Why? Everyone else has easily given up their whole life story so far.”

Koja’s eyes narrow. “That makes no sense. Why would they?”

“Because we are the protagonists. Because that’s how the rules go…. And I glitched them to do so.”

Cassandra glares at him. “What do you mean? You force everyone to tell you what you want to know?”

“Yes… and no…. More yes than no.”

Then why won’t Koja?

“Wait, even you don’t know? What is going on?”

Maybe he is important to the plot?

“We have one of those!?”

As Missingno continues to converse with the Narrator, Koja slowly lowers his arms. He looks over at Cassandra.

“What is going on?”

“Good question. He often talks into space like that. I’ve never understood.”

“And yet, you still are together?”

“Yeah, he may be crazy, but he can do anything and fix any and all problems, so it is worth listening to him speak nonsense.”

Missingno twists back towards them. “SPEAK nonsense? I AM nonsense!” With a snap, a circus tent materializes around them. As circus music plays, many Missingnos in varying costumes act and dance the stereotypical circus activities.

Koja jumps back into his battle stance. “What is this?!” His gaze darts around.

Cassandra shrugs. “As I said, he can do anything. He has a real habit of showing off, though.” She leers at a Missingno lion tamer, who has a lion chewing on his head.

“Ouch! This is terrible!” He rubs his heart as he whispers. “I think my Defence lowered…”

Koja watches as Missingno sucks the entire circus into his palm, transforming it into a small, red rubber ball.

Koja places his thumb and forefinger on his eyes for a bit, then looks up at Missingno. “Fine. I still don’t trust you all that much, but if you can do anything, then you might be able to help with my problem.” He hesitates, but continues. “I… Koja… son of… Koga... ask for your help. Please.” Koja bows to them.

Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Problem? What problem?”

“Obviously, whatever glitch turned Koja into Koga’s son.”

“Wait! Koga doesn’t have a son?!”

“A son? No. I worry about you, sometimes.” He laughs.

She glares at him. “Yeah, I’m the one who we need to worry about.”

Koja clears his throat as he tightens the scarf around his head. “So, will you help me?”

Missingno smiles at him. “Of course. Lead the way!”

-------------------------------------------

Koja leads the protagonists to the beautiful gym, built with a back to a rock wall. The shine of the well-kept gym is almost glaring.

...Or, that is how the gym used to be. Now, the front wall has a huge hole in it, and pieces of wood lie all around outside. From the hole, you can see invisible walls twisting around inside from the dirt and debris clinging to them. Purple goop plasters parts of the gym, and stains cover most of the rest. Fortunately, the houses alongside the gym are mostly untouched.

Cassandra stands there, not even blinking. “What happened?!”

Koja shrugs. “When I woke up, I saw a huge purple form moving away before disappearing. I’m guessing that it did this.”

Missingno looks at him. “So, you weren’t Koja when it happened?”

“No, I have memories of being raised as Koga’s son, but that is not who I really am. All I know is that Koga is missing, and no one understands that the gym is destroyed.”

Cassandra perks up. “Then that must be part of the glitch!”

Missingno thinks for a second. “You said that the glitch disappeared suddenly?”

Koja shrugs. “Maybe. My head was hurting from all these sudden memories. It could have just ran away while I was distracted.”

“No.” Missingno grins. “I know exactly where the glitch is.”

“...”

Missingno waits, but Cassandra just leers at him.

“Ouch.”

Koja narrows his eyes. “So… where is it?”

Missingno chuckles. “As I said, I know EXACTLY where it is.” He puts on a pair of sunglasses.

Cassandra sighs. “Wherever is it, Missingno?” She speaks in monotone.

“We are going to the city.” He whips off his glasses.

“Glitch City.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 57- A Random City

The landscape all around the characters is distorted. Not in the typical, strange way. No, before them, pieces of houses lay next to patches of grass, which is settled between rocks and random waves of sudden water. There are even places that have numbers instead of ground. The landscape is literally twisted together.

This is Glitch City.

Cassandra threw up her hands. “Where are we?! How did we get here?!”

Missingno gave a smile and a soft chuckle. “Dear, Cassandra. I told you that we are going to Glitch City. And do you really not remember what we were just doing to get here?”

“Of course I remember everything, I was being-Oh no.” She slowly turns to him. “You aren’t going to explain it all again, are you?”

“Of course not!”

She lets out a sigh.

Uh, Missingno? You were to lazy to describe how to do in story style, so no one else knows.

“That’s right! I guess I will explain it!”

Cassandra cries out, but he turns away.

“First, we entered the Safari Zone. We then turned right back out. When asked if we wanted to leave, we said no. After saving, we restarted the game, and left again. This time, the people thought that we were entering. We told them we didn’t want to enter, so they let us out. BUT! The step counter was still working. So we left the city, and went out to Route 14, where we walked the remaining steps until the counter pinged us back. It teleported us as if leaving the Safari Zone, but because we were originally in Route 14, we came here instead!”

Koja narrows his eyes. “Again, who are you talking to?”

Missingno jumps back. “Holy ninja, Batman! When did you show up?”

“I’ve been here the whole time.”

Did you not notice him because he is a ninja?

“Nah, it’s probably because he hasn’t been specifically mentioned yet, so I forgot he existed.”

But you remember that Driller is still around, right?

He turns to the other side, where Driller is floating around.

“Holy Beedrill!” This time he jumps far to the side…

And into an invisible wall.

Cassandra touches the barrier. It is definitely there, but the only thing around is a bit of grass. “Um, is there any point to ever coming here?”

“None whatsoever!” Missingno jumps up. “The one and only thing you can do here is to brag that you have been here! Well, that and…” He runs up to a piece of a building. He jumps into the side, and starts to swim through it like water. “This!”

“So, are we really going to find the glitch in this… mess?”

Koja nods. “This place looks completely unstable.” He walks up to another area, and knocks on another invisible wall. “I’m not even sure how to walk around this place, let alone track something.”

Missingno rubs his chin. “We’ll need some sort of tracking device.” He pulls out a small contraption with dishes and antenna. “Based on my readings, the glitch is that way!”

As he points into the horizon, a screech is heard from the other direction.

“... I mean that way!” He turns around and smiles. “Although I’m pretty sure that my Defense lowered twice just now. I’m getting pretty low.”

Cassandra shakes her head. “Whatever, let’s just make sure we stick together and-”

“Koja left.”

“What?!”

Missingno points to a set of trees. “He found a path and ninja’d his way through.”

I don’t think that is a word.

“You’re not a word!”

… That doesn’t make sense.

“You don’t make sense!”

… I’m gonna move on.

“You’re gonna move on!”

Cassandra smacks him upside the head. “Come on, we have to catch up.” She tries to find a path through the invisible walls.

Missingno crosses his arms and pouts. “Fine.” He walks through a tree. Not breaking it, he just walks though it.

Cassandra hesitates, but finds that she can do the same thing, so it must be the path. She pulls Driller to the other side, where they see Missingno smashed up against part of a roof.

Missingno mumbles against the wall. “This isn’t the path…”

Cassandra rolls her eyes and looks for more breaks in the barrier. She finally finds one, but it is through a patch of water. She tries to see if she can walk around it.

Missingno chuckles. “Cassandra, Cassandra, Cassandra.” He walks out onto the water. “When are you going to learn that nothing here is as it seems. The buildings, that tree, this water, those numbers, that charging Muk monster, the gra…” He turns around towards the huge Muk that is rushing at them. He looks back at her, eyes wide open. “Run!”

The three of them rush back through the tree, past the swimmable building, and down another path. As they run, Missingno pulls ahead to get away…

And smashes into another invisible wall. He tries to go left or right, but the building pieces act as real walls this time.

The giant purple monster catches roars as it closes in. It is obviously a Muk, made of flowing, poisonous goop. It lurches forward, then quickly pulls the rest of its body with it.

As the monster raises its one giant hand, Cassandra and Driller ready themselves to take the blow head on.

Missingno suddenly dives to the other side, and he runs into another invisible wall. “Hey!” He rubs his nose as he complains. “Who led us to complete doom in this dead end?!”

The other two leer at him. “That would be you.”

“Ouch! My Defense definitely lowered from that!” Missingno grasps at his heart as he comedically writhes in pain.

She sighs, but the monster’s roar attacks their attention again. It has raised the hand over its head, and the attack begins to descend towards them.

Missingno shrugs at Cassandra. “Sorry.”

They prepare for the descending doom, but at the last moment a ninja appears above them. He cries out as the poison sears through his clothes and into his back.

The girl's eyes widen as she yells out his name. “Koja!”

Missingno throws down a rubber ball, the circus and its music appears all around them.

When the different Missingnos notice the monster in the tent, everything stops.

And they all panic.

Chapter Text

Chapter 58- A Random Defense

As the Muk is distracted with the screaming circus members, Missingno, Cassandra, and Driller use the opportunity to pull Koja out the front.

“Whether it is a musical or a circus, those guys sure do a good job.” Missingno gives a small chuckle, but Cassandra’s trembling lips stop him.

They pull Koja into a field and lay him on his front. His clothes are in tatters, and purple veins are pulsing all along his back. His makeshift mask has fallen off, revealing his pale, sunken face. His thick eyebrows and sharp nose are scrunched up as he desperately tries to breathe. Driller hovers over him, circling excitedly.

Cassandra looks at Missingno. “Will he be ok?”

Missingno shakes his head. “This glitch is now both Pokemon and human. His poison can OHKO any Pokemon and instantly kill any human. The fact that he is even alive means…”

“I'm a Pokemon.” Koja struggles to talk, to breath, to turn his head; but he still glares at Missingno. “I need a favor.”

He tries to push himself up, but can't even get off the ground. “I'm pathetic. I threw every... weapon I had at that thing... and they all melted before even hitting it.” He weakly pounds his fist. “This city needs Koga. He is their real leader! Not some impostor like me…”

Koja’s eyes gleam. “Please, Missingno! You can do anything! I've seen that! So please! Help me!” Each sentence is broken by a raspy breath.

“...” Missingno slowly stands, raises his fists and screams. “Nooooooo! My theory was wrong!”

“... What?” Cassandra and Koja stare blankly at him.

Missingno paces back and forth. “I thought for sure that you were Koga, made young through the glitch. I had thought of another girl, but she doesn't exist until next gen, but you are some Pokemon? This is horrible!”

Cassandra smacks him with her bag, sending him flying against an invisible wall. “That's what you're angry at?! There is a giant monster about to attack us!” She gestures to the tent, which is still in commotion and starting to melt.

“Hey! To me, this is just-” He gets cut off by Cassandra’s leer.

“Fine! Koja! What is it that you want?”

“I want you to beat the-”

“Ha! Who are you fooling? I am a fourth wall breaking glitch. I can read your thoughts, your desires!” Missingno stares directly at him and holds out an open hand. “I can give you the power to help fight it yourself. Or I can turn you back to your original form. It is up to you to decide, but there are a lot worse things out there than that monster. Trust me, you can fight them. Will you help us?”

Koja lays there for a second before slamming his fist on the ground. He struggles, and manages to lift himself up a few inches. He stares back at Missingno and declares, “Please! Give me strength!”

“That’s more like it! I can do that, but there is no going back. Once I do this, you have to join me on my quest, or cease to exist. Are you prepared for that?”

“Yes!”

Missingno laughs. “I like you! Fine! Let’s do this!”

Koja prepares himself for a surge of power… but nothing like that happens.

“Hey! I thought you were going to give me power!” Koja barks at him.

“Well, you look better.” Missingno grins.

Koja notices that it no longer hurts. He sits up, and feels that the scars are completely gone. Driller hovers up and down in a circle as Koja gets up.

He grins back at Missingno. “Thank you.”

Cassandra smiles, but raises an eyebrow. “Wait, Missingno. Why would you change him if you were just going to take down the glitch yourself?”

The now two protagonists look at Missingno, who starts to sweat.

“Um… I actually can’t do this one by myself.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, my Defense has been completely lowered from all the leers and screeches that have happened recently. Even your leer earlier couldn’t do anything anymore. And, for some strange reason, Poison is a Physical move right now.”

Well, that makes sense. Poison is a physical object, right?

“Yeah, and drops of water and blades of grass aren’t.” He scoffs before turning back to the two. “Anyways, the situation is that I can’t take a hit from that thing right now.” He jabs a thumb at the inflated circus tent, ready to burst. “And it looks like they can’t hold it off much longer. Which means we need to make a battle plan.”

Missingno starts to draw in the numbers by his feet as if it were dirt. Koja and Driller head over to look, but Cassandra just stares at them.

“Battle plan? You never make one of those. Don’t you need to be random in order to fight?”

“Yes, but by being always random, it is now even more random to make a plan! I am a random genius!”

Cassandra rolls her eyes to his laughter. She walks over to the see the plan, and finds an detailed drawing of Koja, Cassandra, Driller, and the grinning Muk monster. “So, what is the plan?”

Missingno grins. “Step 1: you two distract it. Step 2: I shoot it.”

A miniature Missingno walks up with a mini rocket launcher and blows up the Muk drawing.

“... That’s it?!” A unison cry shakes Missingno.

Cassandra throws her hands in the air. “Why don’t you just take him out yourself?”

“Wait, is that really all it’ll take?”

Cassandra looks at Koja and sighs. “Trust me, this is what he does. Pretty much all he does.”

“Hey! It is called a running gag, and it is awesome! Besides, the first part is just to separate the two glitches.”

“Two glitches?!” They cried out together again.

“You know, if you both keep doing that, it is going to get really hard to write. And yes, there are two glitches. Koja, what is different about this Muk?”

“Uhhh, you mean the teeth?”

“Exactly! The Muk’s Golden Teeth, originally owned by the gangster game warden, causes the Pokemon poison to affect non-Pokemon objects.”

“Wait.” Cassandra raises an eyebrow. “Muks’ teeth aren’t golden?”

Missingno sighs. “We are going to have a talk after this. Now, the plan is to have you guys distract it while I take it out.”

“With what?”

“Please don’t-” Cassandra tries to stop him.

“With THIS!” Missingno lifts a weapon that appears out of nowhere.

It is his “custom” rocket launcher… you know, that pointless one with, like, a dozen rocket launchers strapped together with duct tape.

“Pointless this!” He aims it at the tent just as it bursts.

Chapter Text

Chapter 59- A Random Relatability

Bits of purple goop go flying everywhere as the Muk breaks away from the confinement of the circus.

And then a dozen rockets sink into its body. They are easily absorbed, and the Muk turns towards the shooter.

“Oh, no!” Missingno starts to scramble away. “Looks like the plot won’t let us have any more delays. Your turn!” He gives a thumbs up to the others.

Koja tilts his head. “Wait, I’m all out of weapons. How am I supposed to help?” His thick eyebrows push together.

Missingno lobs a rock to him. As he catches it, it turns into a small throwing knife.

“Any rock you touch turns into a weapon. After a bit, however-”

The kunai in his hand turns back into a rock.

“Yeah, that.”

As the rock turns into a large throwing star, Koja flings it at the Muk. It stops moving towards them for a second as it absorbs the weapon and then begin moving again.

Koja grins. “Much better.” He gets ready to run. “I’ll keep it in one place. You figure out what to do.”

He takes off, circling just out of the monster’s reach. As he runs, he reaches down to grab a handful of rocks. As they become weapons, he throws them before they have time to turn back. Still, they just absorb into its skin. It falls forward, lengthening its reach just enough. As the hand heads down for Koja, needles stab into it. Although they instantly melt, it distracts the Muk long enough for him to escape.

Driller distracts it from the air while Koja keeps it in place.

“That should be enough for now.” Missingno turns to Cassandra. “Aren’t you going to help?”

“Uhhh, I am?” She jabs a thumb at Driller.

“No, I mean you.”

“I can’t really do anything, or have you glitched me to have some sort of superpower?” She laughs.

“Yeah.”

She stares at him as she feels her stomach churn.

“Come on, don’t you remember?” He snaps, and her hammer jumps out of her bag.

As it lands in her hands, she shakes her head. “This thing? It has been worthless since I first got it.”

“What are you talking about? With this hammer in hand, your strength is immeasurable, your foes tremble, everything has-”

She hasn’t had anything like that.

“... What?”

She has used it twice, with the Rapidash and then the skeleton. Other than that, you used it.

“Wait.” He turns back to Cassandra. “What about all those times you hit me with your bag and sent me flying?”

“I thought that was you being over dramatic.” She gasps and puts a fist to her lips as she ponders. ‘There was that time in the Veridian Forest. My bag had already been changed, so the hammer might have already been in there. Does that mean…’

“That’s right! It’s true!”

“Don’t read my thoughts.” She shook her head. ‘Why am I just accepting that he can?’

Missingno opens his mouth, but Cassandra’s glare stops him.

Cassandra shakes her head again and asks, “Why didn’t it work in the past?”

“Because hammers have no effect against blue.”

She thinks of the Rapidash glitch and it’s blue decorations, as well as the blue skeleton of the Tower King. She looks at Missingno and swings the hammer, sending him flying against an invisible wall.

“W-why?”

“Just checking if it really works.” She shakes her head one last time before heading off to join the fight.

… Are you ok?

Missingno pushes himself to sit up. “Yeah, I’m just worried about them.” He watches as the others keep the Muk busy. “Am I making the best decision?”

I thought that you wanted to get them involved in the fights?

“Yeah, but not until at least season 2.” He pulls his knees in. “I wanted to give them as much time to stay out of my fight.”

But you need their help. You need to conserve power, and let’s be honest, it would improve the story.

“Of course I know that!... It’s just, I spent the last year of hiatus thinking about it, and now that this moment is here, how can I just ask them to fight my battles?!”

… Sigh. Look at them.

Missingno looks at his three companions. They are fighting hard, and although they are not able to do a whole lot against the monster, they don’t let up.

Koja uses the skills forced upon him by the glitch. He hates the glitches that force such unnatural changes, but joined a group he had barely met in order to help others. To do so, he throws not only weapons, but his entire life away to help those in danger. To help Missingno.

Cassandra swings her hammer, and large chunks of purple goo are flung aside. Her attack doesn’t do much but move it around, but she grips and attacks again. No matter what has happened so far, she still has kept with Missingno. She has seen all the terror and danger that the glitches contain, but still throws her hand in with him. She believes in Missingno, and that he will always end up on top. So she clenches her teeth, and swings again as she waits for him.

Driller is very simple. Unlike Cassandra, he understands exactly what Missingno has done for them, and is forever grateful for it. He will accept anything asked of him, and even more when Missingno alters his attacks to be more plentiful and effective than the true Pokemon counterparts. He will attack with everything he has been given to give Missingno some more time.

… This may be your fight, but they do what they can to help you; it is their privilege. Now, didn’t you still need to work on that relatability of yours?

Missingno grins, and that grin widens as he look up with strained eyes. “Relatability? Who cares about that? I have ultimate power!” He jumps up, spreading his arms. “I am surrounded by danger that only I can defeat. And I can do so easily. Haven’t you ever dreamt about being so OP that saving the world is a piece of cake, and anyone with stupid ideas can be effortlessly taken care of?”

I-I guess so.

“I’m living that dream! I have power! I have morals! I don’t care what others think.” He lowers his arms as he looks at the ground. “I have avoided this fight for 20 years. But you know what? I’m not going to just sit around while others die because I can’t get off my butt and do what needs to be done!”

A unison cry comes from across the glitched field. “Missingno, you coming or what?!’

Missingno grins. He rips a single rocket launcher off of his custom weapon, loads a rocket, and leans it against his shoulder.

“YOU BET!”

Chapter Text