Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Izzie sat watching her small daughter run around on the playground. She had made a playmate of a boy her age, and had shooed mom away so she could play on her own. Izzie checked her phone, dreading what was to come next. She was going to have to wrangle the small child and convince her to leave the playground for grocery shopping. Every week it was the same battle with the strong willed girl, and no matter how many warnings she had or how much time she had to play it was never enough. 

“Minji, your five minutes are up, it's time to say bye to your friend, ” Izzie called to the girl.

Immediately Minji dropped to the ground, her legs splayed in front of her, her arms crossed and her bottom lip stuck as far out as humanly possible. Izzie couldn’t help but laugh at her dramatics, which only made the girl pout more.

“Come on, Minji. We can get ice cream from the store,” Izzie knelt down to be at Minji’s level and attempted to bribe her, but Minji only shook her head in defiance.

“I don’t like ice cream.”

“That’s fine, I do and it’s time to go.” Izzie said, finally giving up and scooping up the girl. Minji let out a shrill scream, as if her own mother was kidnapping her. Minji kicked her feet, and pushed away from her mother’s body, as tears began to stream down her face but Izzie held tight, and kept walking towards the bench that she had left her bag and carrier at. By the time Izzie sat Minji on the bench the child had stopped screaming and only tears and deep sniffles were left.

“ Can. We. Come. Back. Again?” Minji asked as if they didn’t come to the park every week, at the same time.

“Of course. Now let's dump the wood from your shoes and go do our shopping.” Izzie gently guided her daughter as she slipped her shoes off and dumped the bits of wood from each one before putting them back on. Minji sat quietly, wiping at her face while her mom buckled the carrier around her waist. Right on cue Minji stood on the bench and latched onto her mom’s back while she slipped her arms through the padded loops and carefully bucked the chest clip, making sure Minji was securely attached to her back.

Izzie loved the neighborhood she lived in, surrounded by highrises, apartments, shops, and a mix of old and new, but it was not very child friendly. The streets were steep, and sidewalks had  lots of stairs to navigate, making even short walks on little legs tough and using a stroller nearly impossible. As a mother, Izzie adapted early on, learning to carry her little one comfortably attached to her body. 

They walked down the street, chatting about their weekly grocery list. Minji asked for her usual snacks, and once inside their usual store she asked to be let down to walk, promising to stay close. Izzie complied, knowing how her daughter felt about ‘strangers’, and grabbed a cart to begin loading with their items. Minji carefully helped pick out each fruit and veggie, giving Izzie hope that she would actually try them this time, and stuck close by her mom just as she had promised. Izzie focused on her shopping, grabbing the items she needed for their meals for the week, easily recalling most of the list until the moment hit that she was sure she was forgetting something. Izzie took her eyes off her daughter to pull out her phone, and check over her list. It was only for a moment, but by the time she looked up, the toddler had managed to wander off. Izzie turned down one aisle then another, looking frantically before she saw the small child on the cereal aisle pointing up to the top shelf and speaking to a couple of strangers. Her heart raced as she watched her daughter talk to the men, but still, for a reason even she didn’t understand, she hesitated interrupting the interaction.

“Would you please get that one for me? Mommy says I can’t have it because she’s short and can’t reach but you are taller than she is right?” 

The two men laughed from behind their masks. 

“Minji, you can’t walk off from mommy.” Izzie sternly reminded the child as she knelt down to her level. “Also remember to use your Korean.” 

“But eomma, they were speaking English,” Minji whined as she pointed at the men.

Izzie stood and took a look at them. Both men were dressed in jeans with oversized shirts, one in black the other in grey. They each had a mask over their face and a beanie pulled down low on their foreheads. One had long blonde hairs peeking out beneath the back, and the other had tufts of black curls peeking below. 

Idols. Izzie thought to herself. She wasn’t unfamiliar with running into idols thanks to the area she lived in, and out of respect for their privacy she avoided interacting with the ones she recognized and of course encouraged Minji not to talk to strangers.

“I’m sorry,” Izzie apologized to the men, with a slight bow. 

“It’s no worries,” the dark haired man answered, with a thick accent. Without hesitation Izzie quirked her eyes up at him, trying to place the unfamiliar sound. 

“Australian,” he answered before she could ask. “Do you mind if I…?” he trailed off gesturing to the cereal, not wanting to say the word if the mom said no.

Izzie nodded, not bothering to hide her slight annoyance as her eyes rolled. The blonde reached up and grabbed the colorful box that was obviously filled with sugar. Minji had asked for it every single week, and every week Izzie had told her that she was too short to reach it. It had been much easier that way than fighting the sugar battle with a toddler. But today Minji had found a way around that, and Izzie had finally lost her battle. Minji took the box from the man with a wide toothy smile spread across her face. “Thank you mister!”

Izzie scooped up Minji and placed her inside the grocery cart, corralling her urges to take off again, before thanking the men and moving down the aisles again.  Minji sat staring at the box in awe of all the colors and pictures meant to captivate small children just like her. Izzie finished her shopping, and headed to the lines to check out only to end up behind the two men. Izzie waited patiently not wanting to crowd them as they waited to check out, but it was the men that turned around and acknowledged them.

“Make sure to be a good girl for your eomma okay,” the blonde said as he looked at Minji staring at him. 

“Do you have a wife? My eomma doesn’t have a husband. Maybe you can be her husband.” Minji innocently rambled as she traced the face of the cheery character on the box. 

Izzie’s face immediately turned bright red, from her cheeks to the tips of her ears. “Minji” her mother scolded her as the men just laughed.

“I don’t have a wife, but your eomma is very pretty and I hope she finds a husband soon,” the dark haired man said with a wink towards Izzie, causing the woman to blush even more.

“I’m so sorry,” Izzie mouthed.

“I’m Chris,” the man teased with a cheeky smirk. “And this is Felix. Maybe we will see you around again.” Chris paid the cashier, and disappeared out of the shop with Felix and their bags, but not before turning to give Izzie one last look.

Even by the time Izzie and Minji had made their 10 minute walk back to their apartment, Izzie was still flustered by her grocery trip. It was rare she would get hit on, unless it was some creeper who wanted ‘something exotic’. Izzie’s dark complexion, (a result of her mother being a Black American woman, and her father Korean), long black curly hair, light green eyes, and freckles, made her stand out in Korea, and usually not in a good way. When she had first arrived she had struggled deeply with the stares, hushed comments and assumptions that she didn’t know the language but much like her daughter she had spoken both Korean and English since she was a toddler. Eventually she decided it wasn’t going to bother her and she belonged in Korea just as much as any other citizen. 

She had been born there, only living in America while she was in school, then returning when her mother had passed away just 2 months after she graduated college. She wasn’t ready to be alone. Izzie had no siblings and her parents had divorced while she was in high school. Her father landed back in Korea, but managed to keep a close relationship with her even across the ocean.  It had only made sense that she move to Korea and try life there. It was rough at first, but once she’d found her way she realized it was the best decision she could have ever made. 

Minji had settled down on the living room floor with her new treasure, while her mother put away the groceries, quickly getting lost in her own world. Izzie took her time organizing the food and began preparing their usual sunday dinner, Minji’s favorite, kimchi stew and vegetable jeon. The stew was one of the few ways that Izzie could sneak some protein into her daughter’s diet so she made sure they had it every Sunday and that it was loaded with bits of pork and whole eggs. 

By the time Minji had been fed, bathed, tucked into bed, read to, and fallen asleep Izzie was exhausted. Still she crawled into her bed and opened her laptop, scanning the inventory for her cafe. She scanned the screen scrolling, but never focusing, her thoughts running back to the men in the grocery store. Izzie was used to being around idols, it was unavoidable living and working in the heart of Seoul. The idols kept to themselves, often followed by a manager while shopping in the grocery stores, grabbing food in the convenience marts, or even enjoying drinks and snacks in the cafes that lined the crowded streets. She’d watched them, but never took note of their names or tried to identify who she saw, even when crowds gathered around. She had no interest in idols, or the celebrities, she only wanted to live her quiet life caring for her daughter and herself.

Izzie tried to focus again, noting that she needed more cocoa powder and chocolate chips, and they were low on the decaf teas they used to make drinks for kids. Her mind continued to wander, focusing back on the two men. They had been so kind and so gentle with her daughter. Other than the ajummas who were happy to see kids around, most people tended to avoid chatting or interacting with Minji, especially the young adult idols that roamed the streets of their neighborhood. Something about how they talked with Minji and even acknowledged her let her know they were different, and even behind their masks she could tell they were attractive. Izzie shook her head, wanting to ward off the thoughts. She had no time for dating or really any interest. She had a 3 year old in tow, a cat to watch,  and a cafe to run. There was no time for men. Not anymore.

That familiar loneliness settled into her chest. She was fulfilled. She had a beautiful life with her kid, and the support of her father, but still there was a small part of her who longed for someone to hold her at night, someone to help with the meltdowns or even just reassure her on the daily that she absolutely isn’t ruining her daughter. Her dad did his best, but she knew that having a partner with her daily would be different, and maybe one day she would find her person, but right now, at this phase in her life she had no time to even look. Dating apps were filled with men who just wanted to hook-up, and though that was nice sometimes, scratching that needed itch, there was more she was craving. The comfort of a person’s presence, the realization that they would need her as much as she wanted to need them. She knew she didn’t NEED a man, but she wanted to have one. Some days so desperately she would find herself considering walking the night streets of Hongdae just looking for comfort, but the thought of leaving Minji with a sitter other than her father was just too much.

Izzie finally gave up, closed her computer, sat it on her nightstand and went about arranging her pillows into the perfect nest, surrounding her body, making her feel safe and comforted, at least until Minji inevitably would end up in her bed in the wee hours of the morning. 

Like usual, sleep found Izzie easily, and she didn’t wake until her alarm went off, and a small hand poked her face. “Eomma turn it off,” Minji whined. Izzie complied, turning off the alarm before pulling her daughter into her arms to snuggle her. Minji fought the embrace pushing away, but Izzie only squeezed her tighter, laughing as Minji squealed. They both found comfort in their early morning routine of snuggles and tickles before rushing off to start their day. Warmth filling both their hearts before taking on whatever the day was going to throw at them. They crawled from bed and began their strict routine.

Right on time they were ready, and heading out the door of the apartment. Minji pushed the elevator buttons and they waited quietly, neither of them morning people and ready to have a conversation just yet. They made it out of the building, after greeting their doorman, and were then on their way to start their day. Izzie dropped Minji off at her daycare, with a quick hug and kiss to the little one, before heading to her cafe. The lights were already on, and the building filled with the smell of fresh pastries and brewed coffee. Her manager was amazing, and Izzie trusted her almost as much as she trusted her dad.

Hana had worked for Izzie for 6 months now, immediately showing the drive to help her run the place, something Izzie had desperately needed. Hana took on opening the shop every day, and baking Izzie’s recipes alongside their assistant baker. She’d help hire more employees when the cafe got so busy they couldn’t handle it alone anymore, and when Minji was sick Hana always sent Izzie home to take care of her kid, guilt free. There was no denying how invaluable Hana was to Izzie, and she swore to herself that she would properly thank Hana, but for now she paid her as much as she could even when Hana told her it was too much. Izzie was a hands-on owner, but thanks to Hana she got to start her day after Minji was at school, and go home when it was time to get Minji to bed.

Owning a cafe in Korea was a challenge, there were several on every block and if yours wasn’t unique, inspiring, and delicious it wouldn’t survive. Izzie had tried something outside the box, she knew it would be niche, but hoped with the Children’s museum around the corner that it would work, and she had been right. Her child friendly cafe was almost an instant hit, drawing families from all over Seoul to come check out her unique space. 

It was a large shop, and she had filled every corner of the space with purpose. Booths for those who wanted to work, a glass encased play area for littles with kid sized tables and even a play cafe counter that Minji loved to run when she was there after school. The open space of the cafe had tables of various sizes and heights, and above all she made sure there was accessible seating for those with disabilities. She wanted her space to work for as many people as possible but first and foremost for families. She wanted a safe space for kids to be rowdy and have fun, and enjoy the cafe experience with their families, even if she was located down the street from one of the largest entertainment businesses in Korea. It always made her and Hana laugh when a group of idols wandered in, shocked to see the colourful walls, kids, and play area. She was convinced one day she was going to have to fight some trainees to stay out of the ball pit, but a warning look from their supervising manager was enough to stop them. Hana had been so amused by the situation she eventually talked Izzie into hosting an adults only playnight, and the first one was coming up in just a couple week's time. If successful they would run them once a month. 

“You look awfully smiley this morning,” Hana teased Izzie as Izzie slipped on her apron. “Wait, did you meet someone? Did you finally meet a man?”

“No!” Izzie responded a little too loud and enthusiastically to be believable.

“Oh my god, you did.”

“I did not. I’m just in a good mood.” Izzie moved past Hana who kept staring at her as she moved through the cafe. “There were no tears at drop off, and our delivery will be on time for once ,” Izzie continued to explain her mood. Hana nodded, but still refused to believe Izzie, knowing she could trust her gut.

Not only did their Monday go well, so did the next few days. Izzie had all but forgotten about the men she’d met in the market until one evening when she was working the front counter with Minji at her side. The door to the cafe opened and in came with it a set of 3 men, loud, and energetic. Great, I’m gonna have to babysit adults.

“Are you serious that these brownies are better than Felix’s?” 

“You can’t tell him I said that, he will cry, but seriously you have to try one.” 

“If these are better than Felix’s I’m dragging him here myself.”

Their friendly banter continued as they made their way to the counter, pausing to take a look at the array of pastries in the case. The men were obviously idols, in beanies and masks, but Izzie didn’t really give them a second glance as she waited patiently for them to order.

“May I take your order?” Minji spoke up, with her notepad and pink crayon in hand. One of the men paused, staring at the child. “Minji likes to help take orders, but I’ll make sure they are correct,” Izzie assured the man.

“Oh, hi little one,” the man’s thick Australian accent came out. “Do you remember me?”

Izzie paused, frozen, as she recalled the man from the grocery store. Minji stared up at the man as she pressed the tip of her crayon to her forehead as if pulling memories from a file. “You are Chris, right? You helped me with the cereal!” Minji finally recalled. The other two men were staring at Chris with their arms crossed and what Izzie could only assume was a smirk behind their masks.

“That’s me. Can you get us 3 brownies, 2 iced americanos and pineapple juice?” Chris asked as he slipped off his mask, allowing Minji and Izzie to see his full face. Izzie had seen his eyes and knew by his aura he was attractive but now seeing his whole face, she had no choice but to acknowledge to herself that he was hot.

“And a cheesecake,” one of the other men piped up. 

Izzie was pulled from her thoughts and began tapping buttons on the ipad before presenting them with their total. Chris tapped his phone to the screen, but kept his eyes on Izzie. Both of them seemingly distracted by the other. “You are number 8,” Minji said as she handed them a wooden star table maker with the number on it.

“Jiji, it's getting late. We should head home for dinner.” 

“Eomma, I want to take Chris and his friends their order,” Minji whined with big round eyes. Izzie sighed but nodded and got to work making the drinks. She sat them carefully on a tray with the 3 brownies then gave Minji her mini tray with the cheesecake, making sure she was steady before they walked over to the booth where the 3 men had settled in, all now without their masks or beanies.

“Here’s your order,” Minji said proudly. Izzie waited until Minji had sat down the cheesecake before handing out the drinks and brownies, only to remember then that she had forgotten the forks. Minji skipped off as soon as Izzie apologized, glad to have a job and another reason to avoid going home, even if for only a moment longer.

“What’s your name?” Chris’s voice came as Izzie turned.

“Iseul. But everyone calls me Izzie.”

“Wait, is this the one you’ve been talking about?” the man with round puffy cheeks gasped.

The one he had been talking about, Izzie thought, as she gave a curious look to Chris who’s ears were now beet red. “Yah,” the third man half yelled with a smack to the chubby cheek man’s head. Izzie couldn’t help but laugh at the interaction.

“It’s not nice to hit,” Minji’s tiny voice came from behind Izzie as she approached the table with 3 forks in hand.

“Yeah, It’s not nice to hit,” the man repeated as he rubbed the back of his head.

“I’m sorry that Changbin and Han aren’t behaving,” Chris apologized to the girl. Minji turned and studied the two men who sat next to each other, one with his cheeks already full of cheesecake. “I’m Minji. Eomma said I shouldn’t tell strangers my name but I don’t think you are strangers anymore, right Eomma?” Minji asked her mother for reassurance. 

“It’s okay Minji.”

“Your Eomma is right, you shouldn’t talk to strangers. Especially these guys, they are the strangest,” the chubby cheeked man added as he gestured to the other two men. 

Chris and Changbin both glared over at Han, but Minji laughed.  “I’m Changbin,” the buff man introduced himself. 

“I’m Han,” the third man said. Minji repeated their names, committing them to memory, in a way that only she did, then climbed into the booth, taking a seat next to Chris, unashamed and comfortable. “Where is Felix?” 

“Minji, I think it’s time we go and let them enjoy their drinks and snacks. Plus you need dinner.” Izzie half whispered, slightly embarrassed at her daughter’s bold behavior. Minji stuck out her bottom lip, full pout, and Izzie knew it was about to be not only a battle but a meltdown.

“I’m not hungry,” Minji stubbornly proclaimed while crossing her arms.

“Minji.” Izzie warned.

“Hey, how about you go have dinner, and then we will come visit another day. I’ll even bring Felix. He’s def going to want to try a brownie,” Chris offered.

“Promise?” Minji asked as she stuck out her tiny pinky finger. Izzie watched hesitantly, she didn’t want her daughter to be lied to, and idols schedules were crazy. She didn’t need her daughter to have a broken promise.

“Minji, they are very busy…”

“I promise.” Chris wrapped his pinky with Minji’s, with a smirk sent towards Izzie.

“Chan hyung never breaks promises,” Han reassured them both.

Chapter Text

Broken promises from idols was something Izzie was far too familiar with and she had done her best to keep Minji guarded from that kind of heartbreak. She never made a promise she wasn’t 100% sure she could keep, and always discouraged others from doing the same. So when the days went by with no sign of Chris or Felix, she began to become angry with the idols. They hadn’t promised a day, but to a 3 year old time wasn’t something that made sense. She asked every evening if they would come by the next day, demanding to go to the cafe and wait for them, and by the 3rd day she was begging not to go to school, worried she would miss them. Minji had a lot of anxiety for such a small body, and expectations were high. Izzie cursed the men silently as she carried a crying Minji into daycare.

One of the teachers took Minji and helped her take off her shoes while the other approached Izzie. “If she’s still upset in an hour, I’ll come get her, but I hope she calms down.” Izzie sighed, trying to hide the distress on her face. Usually once one of these early in the day meltdowns start they were hard to calm down. They used to happen a lot more when Minji first started daycare, but now it was rare. Having a child on the spectrum was not easy, but Izzie was forever grateful for the amazing teachers at Minji’s school that took their time with her. In the beginning they were easily impressed by her ability to read just after she turned 3, and her memorization skills were like none they’d ever seen before but so were her meltdowns. The screaming, crying, hyperventilation, and sometimes even rage filled moments that made her a safety issue to other students. It had only happened once at school, she threw a bin of toys when she was upset, but that was all it took for her teachers to begin to approach her differently. They didn’t kick her out as Izzie assumed they would, instead they offered her an aide until they learned her triggers and once they did, they knew they had Izzie on call and close by if they needed her. Izzie was sure today was going to be one of those days, all because of an unmet promise. 

She wasn’t ready to call it broken, but she couldn’t deny that she was beginning to feel hopeless, not just for Minji but for herself. She hated that this man had weaseled his way into her thoughts. She had only seen him twice, and yet he was already consuming her. Something about him was so curious, and of course sexy. 

She had not found herself attracted to someone in so long that this feeling had really caught her off guard. He had even found a way into her dreams, innocently of course. Just images of spending time with him, as he became a comforting part of her life. But he was an idol, or at least she was sure he was. She hadn’t bothered to look him up, not sure if she really wanted to know. She didn’t want to know more about him than he was willing to share. She had been down this road before, and even with searching she knew there would be a side to him that no one but his closest friends and family would know. A side that the internet would have no idea about. This is why I shouldn’t be thinking about him. He’s just another idol and I don’t need that. Minji doesn’t need that. Izzie repeated the words in her head. Convincing herself of a new truth as she took her time wiping down tables. 

“These brownies can’t be better than mine,” Izzie heard the words and knew. She turned to see Chris and Felix standing with the chubby cheeked man, Han, at the counter. Hana was in the back taking inventory, so that meant Izzie had to help them. She finished the table she was wiping, then headed back behind the counter not bothering to greet the men, unable to hide her annoyance, but they didn’t seem to notice.

“Where’s Minji?” Chris asked, before placing his order.

“At daycare. It’s the middle of the day,” Izzie snapped in Korean despite Chris speaking in English to her, causing the men to look at each other curiously. She knew she wasn’t being fair, they hadn’t promised a day, but still seeing her kid so heartbroken had done something to her she wasn’t sure could be undone. “What can I get you?”

“Oh um… 3  brownies, an iced americano, a hot chocolate, and a pineapple juice,” Felix ordered sheepishly, making his deep voice sound small and unsure. Izzie instantly regretted her attitude, making this man feel bad for something he didn’t promise. Once again Chris tapped his phone, paying for the group, but when Felix took the number and headed to a booth with Han, Chris stayed behind lingering at the counter while Izzie plated the desserts. 

“Are you upset with me?” Chris asked as he watched the woman work. 

“No.” Her answer was simple, curt and to the point.

“You’re mad at me.” Chris couldn’t help but smirk, his dimples settling deep into his cheek.

Izzie sat the drinks on the tray, “I’m not mad. I’m disappointed and frustrated. Minj waited and asked for you every day and today she’d had enough and had a complete meltdown before daycare. I was late dropping her off, I was late to work. And now I’m going to be late taking a lunch break if I keep talking to you.” Izzie lifted the tray with ease and walked around the counter towards the booth. Chris followed her, saying nothing until the tray was safely sat on the table.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to come sooner. Maybe if I had your number, next time I could text and let Minji know exactly what day I’ll come.”

Izzie darted her eyes at him, her mouth hung open in shock. “The audacity.” She quipped in English as if the words wouldn’t land correctly in Korean. She was in shock he was being so brazen. Was he really just using Minji to get close to her? Using her daughter to get her number. Maybe he would try and sleep with her and then act like she never existed.

Felix and Han snickered, earring a glare from Chris. “What do you mean?” He asked as the shock of her response still hung in the air.

“Using a 3 year old just to try to hook up with someone,” Izzie scoffed as she headed back behind the counter. But Izzie didn’t stop her rant there even as Chris looked at her with embarrassed red cheeks and shock. “Breaking a promise to a toddler to try to get some.” The cafe was empty except for the men thankfully, as she glared at the man. It only took a second for Hana to hear Izzie’s rant and for her to pop out from the back, her laptop still in her hand, open to whatever she was working on. 

“You good?” Hana asked. 

“I’m fine, just some sleazy guy trying to get my number.” Izzie shot one more nasty look towards Chris. 

Hana stood quietly while blinking slowly as she processed the scene before her. She tried to make sense of what was happening but she was lost, and not sure it was worth the trouble. The man looked ashamed and was turning to go join his group of friends. Hana was ready to ask for details but Izzie’s phone rang ending her chance.

Izzie sighed as she accepted the call and pressed the phone to her ear as she wiped down the counter. Hana could see the tears at the back of Izzie’s eyes, the ones that never fell but always threatened to in these moments of chaos. “I have to go get Minji.”

Hana nodded and promised to handle things at the cafe, then offered to stay and close up. Izzie grabbed her purse and headed out the door, only to hear footsteps behind her. “Let me go with you. Is she sick?”

Izzie ignored Chris as she continued the walk to the daycare center, but still he followed her. She knew she should probably be worried this man was so determined to not only be in her space but Minji’s, but despite the words she had spoken to him earlier none of her warning bells were going off. The walk to the daycare was short, just 2 blocks away, and as soon as she went inside the building she saw her daughter sitting with the manager holding her as tears continued to stream down her face.

“She tried her best today, but she just kept silently crying. She’s of course not a bother to us, but we want her to be happy and feel okay.” Miss Kim explained.

“I appreciate it. Thank you.” Izzie said as she reached for her daughter. “It’s okay Jiji, Eomma is here. Let's go home and have a snack, yeah?”  Minji nodded as she tucked her head into her mother’s neck and held on to her tightly. They walked back out of the building and onto the sidewalk, only to see Chris still waiting for them.

“Is she okay?” Chris asked, he wasn’t sure himself why he was so concerned with the girl but something about her just tugged at his heart. Knowing he had let her down had done something to him he hadn’t expected.

Before Izzie could answer, Minji perked her head up at the sound of Chris’s voice. Instantly a smile appeared on her face and she tried to wiggle from her mother’s arms. “You came! Eomma, let me down.” 

Izzie had no fight left in her, emotionally exhausted from the day, and let Minji down to stand on her own feet. Instantly the child ran over to Chris as he knelt down to her level. “I promised I would. I’m sorry it wasn’t sooner.”

Izzie watched as Minji wrapped her arms around the man’s buff arm, hugging him tightly. She never hugged strangers, in fact the only people she willingly hugged were her own mother and grandfather. Occasionally her teacher would get a hug but it was rare, and usually meant she was having a rough day, like today.  Izzie wanted to be mad, she wanted to think the worst of Chris, but she could feel her facade breaking. Maybe he wasn’t the awful person she claimed he was. Izzie shook her head subtly, trying to clear the thoughts. He was an idol, he couldn’t be around consistently even if it was just for Minji, and that’s what Minji needed, even more than a neurotypical kid. She needed to know what was on the schedule, what was coming next. Changes, disruptions were hard for her. Idol life didn’t leave much free time, and Izzie knew Minji couldn’t count on him, no matter how nice of a person he was. 

Chris stood but Minji immediately reached up, asking for him to carry her. He looked at Izzie for permission and when she nodded he scooped up the small child who giggled with delight in his arms.

“Jiji, we should get home. Nabi is waiting for us.” Izzie reached out to take the child from Chris but Minji didn’t reach back. Normally their cat was Izzie’s key to get Minji home, but it clearly wasn’t going to work today with Chris there stealing her attention.

“But I want to go to the cafe, Felix is there. I want to say hi to Felix.”

“You’ve had a tough day, wouldn’t it be nice to get home, have a snack and watch a movie in our jammies?” Izzie offered, hoping the child would take the bait.

Minji contemplated the idea for a moment, “Can Chris come too?”

“Jiji, I don't think that’s a good idea.” Izzie said firmly. “Chris is a busy man, I’m sure he has to get back to work. Just like Felix.”

Minji looked to Chris for confirmation, as if she hoped he would contradict her mother, and for a second he thought about it. He really did have the rest of the day off, but he didn’t want to push his luck. He knew he would have to prove himself trustworthy if he wanted to have any chance at a date with the child’s mother. And he wanted that chance. He was absolutely smitten with her since the first time he saw her in the grocery store. He knew nothing about her other than she had a daughter, no husband, and the most beautiful green eyes he’d ever seen. He felt like every time he looked into them he could get lost, drowning in their depth that held lots of secrets. 

“It’s true Jiji, I have to get back to work.” Chris glanced at his watch, “in fact I think Felix is already there, so I should hurry back.” It was a lie, but it was necessary to make life easier for Izzie. He could see in those perfect eyes that she just needed one break and he would give her what he could today. 

“You can’t call me Jiji. Only Eomma and Harabeoji can,” Minji told him matter of factly. Chris sat her feet down on the ground then bowed respectfully. “I’m sorry Minji.”  

“I forgive you,” Minji responded proudly.

Minji then walked over to her mother, asking to be held, and as they walked away she waved one more time to Chris as he watched them. 

Chris made his way back to the office building after seeing that Felix and Han had headed home without him. It was true he had the day off but he felt like he always had work to do. He settled into his studio and opened his laptop but instead of opening his software for work he found himself on Naver searching up the cafe. He landed on their perfectly curated website and clicked on the ‘About Cafe Play Staff’ where he found photos and short biographies of each of the employees. Minji was listed first, then Iseul, followed by Hana and then the rest of the cafe employees. Chris had no idea how he had ended up in that cafe the first time. They had walked by it almost every day going to and from the JYPE building, but until that night a week ago he had not stopped in. From the outside it looked like a regular cafe, it wasn’t until you went inside you saw all the kid friendly accommodations. Though there was an indoor play area, it was contained behind a glass wall, leaving the booths available for childless guests to still enjoy the space. It was a unique and well done concept. There was also no denying that they had the best pastries he’d ever had, and it was the only place he’d found fresh pineapple juice that tasted like literal heaven. Dammit, I never got to drink my juice. He recalled as he continued to stare at the photos of Minji and Iseul.

He was so lost in thought he didn’t hear the keypad click, and when Changbin joined him he jumped. “So are we going to talk about this crush?”

“There’s nothing to talk about, ” Chris lied as he closed the web browser and opened his music software.

“Chan hyung,” Han gently pressed, “It’s okay to like a girl. It’s okay to be straight.” His serious tone turned playful, earning a smack to the shoulder from Chris.

“I don’t have time for a crush,” Chris murmured as he clicked through the music program, not really sure what he was aiming to get done. “Pretty sure she hates me now anyways.” 

“What did you do?” Changbin asked incredulously, it wasn’t like Chris to upset people, unless it was the managers from the company.

“I made a promise… and I kept it… it just didn’t work out the way it should have and I upset her kid, and now it’s a whole thing.” Chris fell back into his chair and ran his hand through his long black hair. It was longer now than it had been in years and he was damn proud of it.

“So you do like her?” Han pushed. Chris just sighed deeply and closed his eyes, not willing to talk about whatever tickle of a feeling might be happening within him.

“Let’s just get to work.” 

Izzie was beyond grateful to find her father already settled in on her couch with her cat curled up next to him, when she arrived with her daughter. It was a welcome distraction to the day’s events. Minji immediately curled up with her grandfather and began asking about his trip, as she smothered the ginger cat. Their night was the complete opposite of how their day had started and once the delivery that Izzie’s father arrived she snuck off to her bathroom to soak in her tub. 

Izzie melted into the warmth of the water, allowing the ridiculous amount of bubbles to take her over. She let her eyes close and focused on clearing her mind. She needed a clean slate, and less stress. Everything about being involved with idols on any sort of personal level always set her on edge. Especially male idols. They were just men with money, big egos, and perceived power. Power that had created sleepless nights and never ending drama. My life is good. My kid is amazing. I am capable. My cafe is successful. I am enough. Her routine of positive affirmations played like an endless record in her head. She focused on each word as she ran them through her thoughts. Not only forcing her brain to hear them but to also believe them. Some statements were easier than others. It was easy for her to see how amazing her daughter was, it was so easy to see the tangible success of her cafe, but believing in herself was something that had never come easy or simply no matter how encouraging her parents had always been for her.

Her relationship with her mother wasn’t like her friends' relationships with their mothers. Izzie and her mom were more of friends. They could talk about anything and everything for hours on end. Her mother listened to her boy problems, school worries, and friend drama all without complaint. She only guided her to make decisions that best suited her, not ones that would make her mother happy. Which only made the relationship she’d had with Minji’s father all the more confusing. She knew she wasn’t herself, she knew she wasn’t happy, but still she let herself get sucked into his chaos over and over. Chaos that eventually ended leaving Izzie broken in a way she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to put back together. Broken in a way that she was sure could never be fixed. Her hope and confidence in her ability to be in a relationship was shattered. She felt she would never trust her own judgement again.

Even above all that, her sole focus in this world was first Minji, then the cafe. Both of these kept her busier than she ever thought she would be. She was proud to be using her degree at least in some capacity. Her bachelors in business administration helped her develop an efficient and successful cafe, in a world where cafes were always competing to be the best and fighting to just break even. She had not only already broken even, she had turned a profit in the 11 months they had been open, and she hoped the extravagant 1 year celebration would be a huge success. 

Her thoughts shifted from her mantras to her special event recipes. Their adults-only play night would be the kick off to the celebration, and she and Hana had been working on boozy versions of some of their most popular drinks. She had even pulled out her mother’s rum cake recipe and planned to make mini versions for the occasion. A chef friend was supplying kimbap and bibim guksu for savory treats to round out the menu. In some ways she felt like she had planned too much, and in others she worried it wasn’t enough and the event would fail. There was just one last thing to do, and that was to curate the playlist. Izzie mostly left it to Hana, knowing that the popular k-pop songs would fit the vibe of the event, but Izzie wasn’t well versed in that genre, mostly listening to r&b, western pop, and hip hop, with splashes of emo reminding her of home.

Music from home soothed her soul, it often felt like the last real connection she’d had with her mother. Memories of them dancing in the kitchen while baking or screaming out lyrics at the concerts they would attend together. Izzie could feel tears begin to prickle behind her eyes, but instead of letting them fall she grabbed her phone and texted Hana. 

IZZIE: Did you place the alcohol order?
HANA: Yes. Are you going to tell me about this guy?

IZZIE: There is nothing to tell.
HANA: Jeon Iseul.

HANA:  A man followed you out of the cafe.

HANA:  A man that has been here more than once. 

HANA: He brought his friends. 

IZZIE: Minji is obsessed with him. He’s just being nice to her. 

HANA: 😑

HANA: You can’t be that dense. Man was checking you out so hard.
IZZIE: No he wasn’t. 

Izzie gave up, locked her phone and sat it down. She was not in the mood to dive into whatever delusions Hana was having this time. She frequently claimed some man was looking at her, but Izzie knew better. It was her dark skin and freckles that grabbed attention and nothing more. Izzie picked up her phone again and opened the internet browser, she began typing Chris’s name but stopped after the ‘h’. She locked the device once again but this time carefully tossed it away allowing it to land on the pile of laundry she’d left on the floor. She refused to let her curiosity tempt her. She didn’t need to know who he was. She didn’t need to know about him. He probably wasn’t even going to come around again. No idol would want to date anyone who had a kid, especially one with special needs. Plus of course, idols weren’t allowed to date.

Izzie shivered realizing her water had gone past the point of tepidness and dove straight into cold. She stood from the water and wrapped a towel around her body. She slowly dried herself before slipping on a pair of panties, tank top then her favorite robe. By the time she’d made it out of the bathroom her father had tucked Minji in bed. Izzie snuck into the little one’s room, and gave her a quick kiss before heading back to the kitchen for a glass of wine and a catch up session with her dad. 

“So, who’s Chris?” 

Izzie’s ears instantly burned as her eyes went wide and she nearly spit out the mouthful of red wine. She managed to swallow the tart drink before gasping through a cough. Her father waited patiently for her to clear her throat with an amused look on his face.

“Appa, he isn’t anyone.” 

“Jiji, seems pretty enthralled by him. She talked about him the whole night.”

Izzie scoffed, “She met him like 3 times. Twice were by accident.”

“The third?” Her father raised his eyebrows in curiosity. 

“He followed me to Jiji’s daycare. She was having a hard day. But it was his fault she was having a hard day. He promised to come back and visit and after about 4 days she couldn’t take anymore of the unknown and the anxiety won.”

Mr. Jeon tensed up. “He followed you? Does he know where you live? What does he look like?” 

“Appa, calm down. I don’t think he’s some sort of stalker or creep. I actually think he’s genuinely enchanted by Jiji. Something about him has her connected for sure. And you know how she is with strangers.”

Mr. Jeon relaxed back in his seat but his worries didn’t leave. He always worried about the two of them living alone, and though Korea was relatively safe, he knew men could still be dangerous. He didn’t want his daughter to be harmed or taken advantage of again. Once had been more than enough, even if it did lead to his pride and joy of a granddaughter.

He took a moment to carefully pose his next sentence. “I think you should date. It would be good for you. Jiji could use a nice man to influence her.”

“She has you,” Izzie argued. “I don’t need to date. I don’t have time to date.”

Her father let out a long sigh, knowing it wasn’t worth the battle but he knew how lonely she must be. She had always been one to keep people close and now she’d only made friends with her cafe manager, but he knew they didn’t see each other outside of work unless it was for work. Izzie made almost no time for herself, only sneaking off to soak in the tub when he visited, and he knew it wasn’t enough. He worried about her and for her. He wanted her to take care of herself. He wanted to see her be loved for the wonderful woman she was. Plus he knew he wouldn’t be around forever and wanted to know that she was taken care of.

“Mr. Oh’s son is single.” Mr. Jeon quietly proclaimed as he glanced at her without turning his head. 

“Appa.” Izzie’s word had such a sense of finality to it that he knew he needed to stop pressing, at least for now. 

Chapter Text

The night of the adult’s only event at the cafe came faster than Izzie felt ready for. The cafe had closed at its usual 9pm for Friday night, and there was surprisingly now a line outside waiting for the event to begin at 10. Izzie was glad she and Hana had required all their part-time employees to come in and help, because it was clear they were going to need it. Izzie kept glancing outside between rearranging tables. She was so lost in her anxious thoughts that she hadn’t even noticed Hana come up behind her, so when Hana grabbed her shoulder she screamed.

Hana doubled over in laughter. “Oh my god woman, calm down.”

Izzie rolled her eyes and kept working, “What did you need?”

“Just letting you know it’s time,” Hana answered with a bright smile. She was more than excited for this event, it had been her idea after all, and part of her was hoping that Izzie’s not so secret admirer would show up. 

Izzie had no time to think after that moment. The doors were opened and guests flooded in making lines at the register that went out the door. They were definitely going to hit capacity and have more waiting. She had no idea how they would manage this, but Hana and Jia were on things. Drinks were flying out in rapid speed, pastries sold quicker than she could have imagined, and the cafe was filled with a mix of laughter and the hottest k-pop music.

The rum cakes sold out in the first hour and a half, leaving her feeling both stressed and proud. The savory foods were also a huge hit as adults played board games and laughed amongst friends. The feeling was bittersweet as she watched the groups of people. Maybe dad is right, maybe I should date, or at least get out and make some friends. Izzie took a slow deep breath and went to check on all her employees. Thankfully, they were all smiling and thriving in the chaos.

She scanned the room over and over, knowing he wouldn’t come if he was any sort of ‘high level idol’, but still for some unknown reason to her she hoped he would show. Her eyes would land on a man in all black sliding down the slide, or a small group of men at a table, but there were no signs of him. She tried hard to shake off the thought but still her mind was focused on making sure IF he came, she would take the time to notice. She would say hi, offer him pineapple juice, and pull the brownie she saved for him from behind the counter. 

I saved a brownie for him. Izzie scoffed to herself as she took a peek in the playroom. She was not that kind of girl, not anymore. She had taken all her ‘clingy’ behaviors and focused them on Minji. She couldn’t make sense of why Chris had worked his way into her brain. He had taken up space, living rent free, occupying her precious thoughts. Still, as invasive as the thoughts felt, she had no urge to evict him from her mind. She let him stay and would hold on until something changed. 

Until something changed? I’ve only seen the man 3 times. We’ve never even had a real conversation. Goodness, something is wrong with me. Am I really that desperate? 

Yeah. Maybe I am.

Izzie relished in the quiet as the cafe began to clear out. It was late, just after 2am. The staff worked quickly to clean up, and by 3 she was out on the street locking the doors and ready to walk home. She knew she could take her time going home since Minji had been put to bed by her father and he would be fast asleep in the guest room bed. The cool early spring air wrapped her in comfort as she made her way through the familiar streets. She zig zagged a bit, taking the long way. She had only been walking for a couple of minutes when her senses were set off by a man dressed in all black, a hoodie pulled over his head as he leaned up against a building. He was alone and the street was empty, only lit by the soft lights from the building lettering. Izzie almost paused but kept moving her feet along, not wanting to draw attention to herself if he hadn’t noticed her. She sped up her pace, just slightly, to move past the man as quickly as possible.

Izzie focused on the ground as her steps carried her and tried to remember if she had anything that could be used as a weapon on her. I’ll just swing my purse, she decided as she began to cross directly in front of him.

“You probably shouldn’t be out alone this late at night.” The voice caught her off guard and caused her body to freeze, her feet faltering. She just barely managed to steady herself so she didn’t hit the ground. 

Izzie turned and focused on the man as he pushed himself away from the brick wall behind him. She instinctively took a step back, attempting to create distance between her and the stranger.

“Oh, shit I didn’t realize how this looked or how that sounded,” a thick Australian accent fell from the man’s lips. Izzie’s head tilted to the side as she tried to place the familiar sound on the partially lit street. “It’s Chris.” 

A breath of relief rushed from Izzie’s lungs, but she still didn’t move. “I was at the studio late and waiting for my manager when I saw you walk by.”  He easily switched between English and Korean in a way that felt comfortable to Izzie.

Izzie’s shoulders relaxed and her hands unclenched her bag. “Oh, I was just going home from work. My dad is expecting me.” Though she didn’t really feel like she was in danger, the words fell from her mouth naturally. An old trick she was taught, let people know that someone is expecting you. Let them know you’ll be missed.

“Do you want a ride?” Chris offered as a black SUV pulled up. 

Izzie contemplated for a moment. It was late and a ride would be nice, but at the end of the day the fact stood that she didn’t know this man or his intentions. What if he was actually a creep or terrible person who was just good at hiding it? Still something inside of Izzie had her moving forward. “Sure, but I’m not too far away.” 

Chris nodded and opened the door for her, allowing her to climb in. She gave the driver her address and once Chris was in and buckled they took off. The ride was quiet, filled with an awkward void, as they passed through the empty streets of Seoul. “I’m sorry for how I treated you the other day. I shouldn’t have accused you of being a creepy guy.” Izzie’s apology was quiet but sincere.

“Yah, don’t worry about it. No sweat. I get where you were coming from and how things looked. I genuinely think your kid is cool and it's kind of cool having a fan that isn’t a fan. Ya know?” Chris smiled brightly and, even under the dim streetlights that flashed through the windows of the car, Izzie could see his dimples.

Before too long the SUV approached the apartments where she lived, but when she went to hand her access card to the gate she was stopped when it opened for the SUV. Izzie's face turned analytical as she tried to understand what was happening.

“Mr. Kim, we were meant to go to Miss….” Chris paused, realizing he didn’t know her surname.

“Jeon”.

“Miss Jeon’s home.”

“Mr. Bang this IS her apartment.” The driver clarified as he grinned at Chris through the rearview mirror. 

Chris and Izzie exchanged a look, clear that they were both bewildered by the coincidence that they lived in the same apartment complex. 

“I’ll get out here. Thank you Chris and Mr. Kim.” 

Before anyone could stop her Izzie was out of the vehicle and making her way to her apartment building. She didn’t need to know if Chris was in the same building as her. She didn’t want to know if they shared a floor. There’s no way he lives on my floor. We surely would have seen him. We’ve lived here for over a year. Izzie tapped her building access keycard and pulled the door closed behind her, making sure it was secure before pressing the button for the elevator. Once inside, she tapped her keycard again before pressing the button for the 8th floor. Her heart raced when the doors opened on her floor and she kept looking over her shoulder, checking her surroundings, sure that she was going to run into him again but she made her way to her apartment and slipped inside with no surprises. 

Chris stared at his driver as Izzie took off. His face and body were frozen in time. “Don’t worry. I won't tell JYP.” The driver reassured him.

“There’s nothing to tell. She owns a cafe and we’ve had a few run-ins.” Chris defended himself. “I didn’t want her walking home alone.”

The driver nodded but there was an unmistakable smile as Chris climbed from the SUV and headed to his apartment. Thankfully his roommate, I.N, was already asleep so he was able to sneak to his room without any further questioning. He knew his members suspected something of him, but he wasn’t even sure what was going on. He stripped off his clothes from the day before showering, then climbed into his bed not bothering to dress. He settled down into his sheets, letting the softness envelope him as his mind focused back on the woman from the cafe.

There was just something about her that had wormed its way into his head. Every time he closed his eyes for the last week he saw her face and the sweet smile of her daughter. Her daughter. He had never really been one for kids. He was fine around them but he never really saw himself as the nurturing kind. He had enough responsibility being the leader of the group, feeling like he often had 7 adult kids, but having kids of his own was something he’d pushed away from his mind. He’d been technically prohibited from dating, or at least dating publicly, so how could he even consider having a family of his own anytime soon. His life now was his music and his bandmates. He’d do anything for them, and he knew one day he’d find his own way, but for now this was all about them. Who would want to be married to someone who was never home? Someone who was gone for months at a time? Someone who was constantly the eye of other women? 

Chris realized he needed to find a way to rid himself of thoughts of her. He squeezed his eyes shut but instantly she was there. Scowling at him, her eyes focused narrowly, yet still he was sure she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Chris sat up and grabbed his phone, opening instagram to scroll posts made by STAY. That always seemed to help him relax. In just a few minutes he found himself laughing and giggling at STAY edits of him and the rest of Stray Kids from their recent episode of Code. It was just what he needed, at least until he scrolled a little too long. Videos from Cafe Play’s event began popping up. He found himself watching each one, waiting to see even just a glimpse of Izzie. Then he saw her, smiling as she took orders at the counter. The same smile she’d greeted him with the first time he and the rest of 3racha had managed to stumble into that cafe. Her cheeks were pressed wide, her teeth showing. It was then when he paused the video he noticed her freckles. How had I missed them before? But he knew the answer, it was because he was so focused on her eyes.

Chris gave up and turned off his phone. He was getting in too deep. It was already 5am, and sleep seemed unreachable for him. He’d been kicked out of the studio for the weekend, ‘forced to rest’ before their upcoming trip to Japan. He turned on his sound machine, listening to the crash of waves in hopes that it would finally lull him to sleep long enough for him to wake and go to the cafe the next day.

“Are you obsessed with me or my pineapple juice?” Izzie asked cheekily as she stared at Chris. He was dressed in all black with a baseball cap and mask.

“If I said both?” He quipped back without hesitation. His lack of confidence was given away by the redness of his ears and the giggle that followed. He had gone to the cafe alone, leaving the members to rest and pack in peace, or rather give himself some peace.

“CHRIS” Minji came running over. It was Saturday, which meant she got to spend all day at the cafe with her mom. She ran full force at the man and wrapped her arms around his legs, delighted to see him. Izzie got ready to scold the child, but before she could Chris reached down to pick her up. 

Chris chatted with Minji about all the things she wanted to tell him about before adding a sandwich to his order. He sat Minji down and headed towards a booth, but she followed after him, immediately climbing into the booth seat across from him and setting her journal and crayon on the table. Chris noticed a set of numbers on the page she had open, “What are those for?” 

“5 days until my appa comes to visit. Everyday Eomma lets me cross one off.” Minji answered as she carefully colored around the numbers on the page. Chris watched her as he contemplated her father. Even though he couldn’t see himself as a father, he also couldn’t imagine not being around for his kid. He had so many questions about the circumstances surrounding his absence, but he also knew he had no place to ask. To his disappointment, one of the other employees dropped off his pineapple juice instead of Izzie. In fact, after the glass and sandwich were sat in front of him he stuck his head out of the booth to search for her only to see her in the kids play area cleaning. His eyes were locked on her as she sanitized the tables and picked up toys. He was so lost in watching the way she moved through the space cleaning and caring for each item so tenderly that when Minji called his name he had no idea what she had been saying. He pulled himself back to face her and apologized before asking her to repeat what she had said.

“Are you a singer? Eomma says she thinks you are a singer.”

“I am.”

“Can you sing for me now?” Chris chuckled at the child’s innocent question.

“How about I send your Eomma some songs and let her decide if it's okay for you to listen.” 

Minji pressed her lips together, not quite satisfied with his answer but still she nodded. 

“Minji, I’m going to Japan for a couple of weeks so I don’t know when I will be able to visit again, is that okay?” 

“Are you going to sing in Japan?”

“I am, and I have other work too.”

“Will you come visit when you get back?” 

Chris paused before answering, not sure how he should approach this. He didn’t want to make another promise that would cause issues with the small girl. “I will, but I can’t say when. It might be a few weeks. Maybe more.” Chris carefully answered. He watched the girl's expression as she processed the information. 

“But you will come back?”

Chris nodded. “I just don’t know when. Is it okay if you wait?”

Minji nodded. “I can wait. Eomma will help me.” Chris relaxed back in the booth, in an attempt to keep his own anxiety at bay. He couldn’t let himself be the cause of the child’s stress. Not just because he was infatuated with her mother, but because he felt so drawn to Minji and the need to keep her safe. There was just something about the child he was completely attached to, in a way that would definitely get him into trouble. Whether it would be trouble with the company or trouble with his heart was still to be determined, but he had a feeling it would be both. He could feel his emotions spiraling out of control and he wasn’t sure he wanted to stop it. He probably should, but he couldn’t deny it felt good. It felt so wonderful to feel something other than stress. 

Izzie finished cleaning up the play area, making sure all the surfaces were sanitized, before going to check on Minji. She wasn’t the least bit surprised to find Minji sitting in the booth across from Chris, chatting away as she colored. She took advantage of the opportunity and went back behind the counter to make herself and Minji both a snack before walking over to the booth and sliding in next to her daughter. Chris looked up at her as she handed him a fresh glass of pineapple juice. He thanked her and watched as she slid a plate in front of Minji.

The small child looked at the plate before looking at her mother, “is it the right ham?” Izzie nodded, assuring the child her sandwich had been made just as she liked it. Minji picked up the croissant stuffed with white cheese and ham and took a big bite. Izzie held her breath as she waited for Minji’s reaction. On the flip of a coin Minji would go from totally fixated on a meal to completely disgusted by it with no warning. She was so sensitive to food that Izzie couldn’t change the brand of most products without worrying that Minji would reject a previously accepted meal. After Minji took a second bite with a satisfactory look on her face, Izzie finally relaxed and took a bite of her own sandwich. She had hoped Chris didn’t mind her intruding on his space as he sat with her daughter, but she had a feeling she was more than welcome. Especially based on the way he kept staring at her.

“Yes, I know green eyes and freckles, but I am half Korean.” Izzie smiled as she watched Chris blush slightly at the fact he had been caught staring. “My father is Korean and I was born here. I lived in the U.S. until almost 5 years ago.” 

Chris nodded, committing each of her words to memory. Izzie took another bite before turning to redirect Minji to focus on her food rather than her coloring. She wasn’t quite sure why she was sharing personal info about herself with Chris, but she realized how comfortable she was feeling in his presence. Normally she just ignored the stares or responded to the questions with sarcasm, not wanting locals to think their behavior was okay. Chris took a sip of his drink, then began telling Izzie a bit about himself. Sharing that he had come to Korea alone to ‘study’ when he was 13, causing Izzie to laugh. She knew he was an idol but she had still refused to look into him, knowing she’d probably end up deep diving on learning about him, and that’s not how she wanted to get to know him. And she did want to get to know him. She hadn’t decided in what capacity but she felt it was her duty to be at least friendly with the person her daughter was so attached to. 

Minji finished her sandwich and handed the empty plate proudly to her mom. Izzie ruffled her hair and pressed a kiss to Minji’s cheek, thanking her for eating well. “Okay Minji, we should say goodbye, I bet Chris needs to get to work.” Izzie reached out for Minji hoping she’d comply easily.

“Actually I don’t. I brought my laptop to hang out here for a bit if that’s okay.” Chris patted the black leather bag that sat next to him in the booth. “She can stay, if that’s okay with you.” 

Izzie looked at her watch. It was another hour before Hana would come in and she could leave for the day. On one hand it would be nice to have Minji looked after so Izzie could get some paperwork done, but on the other hand she felt it was inappropriate for her to leave her small child with someone who was essentially a stranger. Minji looked up at Izzie with big pleading eyes. “Okay. One hour, then we have to go home when Hana gets here. You need a bath.” Minji nodded and opened her book back up to color. Izzie cleared the plates then returned with a cup of water for Minji and a fresh box of crayons. Chris was focused on his computer, leaving Izzie to go get work done while her kid quietly entertained herself in his presence. 

When Hana came into the cafe she immediately clocked Minji sitting with Chris and grabbed Izzie to pull her into their shared office. “Okay, explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain,” Izzie argued.

“But Minji doesn’t like anyone. She barely tolerates me. She’s over there SITTING STILL with that dude.” Hana’s voice was raised and excited. Izzie laughed at Hana’s jealousy. She had tried so hard to get Minji to accept her but for some reason Minji had always kept Hana at arm’s length. She figured Minji would warm up in her own time, much like she did with her daycare teachers, but clearly the way she latched onto Chris had put Hana in her feelings.

“It’s not funny.” Hana pouted as she flopped down in her office chair.

“I don’t understand it either.” Izzie wrapped her arm around Hana offering her comfort. It truly had been a bizarre situation for Minji, but Izzie was so thankful to see her gain some social skills. Minji was so articulate and had a huge vocabulary, but relationships with her peers had always been rough. In the beginning, they shied away from her because of her meltdowns and now it was because they didn’t understand her quirks. She used words most 3 year olds didn’t really understand, but despite her language skills she had a hard time with maturity. Sharing was non-existent, and she often played by herself in a corner, not wanting to give up her favorite toys. If she did engage with other students she frequently demanded they play ‘her way’, with her rules, and when they didn’t she would storm off upset and dysregulated. There was little room for change to ‘rules’ she had created for herself. Izzie had Minji enrolled in play therapy once a week, but it seemed she needed something more. Something that maybe Chris was providing her.

Hana stood and hugged Izzie back then shooed her out of the office, directing her to head home. Izzie sighed to herself after she gathered her things and headed towards the booth where Minji was sitting, remembering she’d hadn’t given Minji her usual 10 minute warning. But it was getting late, and Izzie was beyond ready to get home. She braced herself as she approached the booth. “Okay Minji. Hana is here so it’s time for us to get home.”

“Eomma, can Chris walk home with us?” Minji asked without looking up. Izzie glanced at Chris sideways and his eyes met hers as if to say, ‘I’m fine if you are.’

“Yeah, he can walk us to the door of our building.” Izzie smiled as Minji looked up at her with the biggest grin she could possibly make. Minji packed her things in her small backpack while Chris packed up his laptop, and then the 3 of them were on their way. Minji walked between Chris and her mother, refusing to hold either one’s hand unless they were crossing a street, then she demanded to hold both their hands. The walk from the cafe to the apartment complex where they lived only took about 10 minutes, and when they arrived at the pedestrian gate Chris pulled out his keycard before Izzie could. It didn’t take long for Minji to understand.

“You live here too?”

Chris nodded with a mischievous smirk. “I do, in building 10.”

Minji squealed in response. “Minji, we can’t go to his home.” Izzie immediately squashed the idea that she knew was brewing in the small child’s mind. 

Chapter Text

Izzie and Minji fell back into their routine until Minji’s father arrived. He lived in the US, and though he was a shit partner he was a good dad. Whenever he had work in Korea he prioritized spending time with Minji, even keeping an apartment there with a room ready for her. He had worked with Izzie to select a nanny who could help with Minji while she stayed at her father’s and sometimes Izzie wondered if she liked spending time with the nanny more than her dad. Either way, Minji was happy while she was with him and that’s what mattered.

With Minji at her dad’s, Izzie was left home alone for the better part of a month. She spent most of her extra time at the cafe avoiding being home alone in the absence of the noise from her daughter. Since the evening of the adult night they had been getting tons of requests for another so Izzie had thrown herself into planning not just one more but one for each month of the rest of the year. 

Just as the first week of Minji being with her dad was wrapping up, Izzie received a text from Minji’s dad.

MJ DAD: Minji wants to go to your house for dinner tonight. She says Eomma and Appa need to both eat with her. 

IZZIE: She’s always welcome to come home anytime. Was eating with both of us really her idea?

Izzie was constantly skeptical of anything that man said to her. No matter how many times she’d turned him down it seemed he was always trying to find a way back into her heart, or at least her pants. It worked for the first year after Minji was born. Izzie felt bad about her body and lonely while taking care of an infant on her own full time. An infant that cried almost nonstop for the first 6 months. So anytime he showed up and offered her the smallest bit of affection or encouragement it made it easy to fall back into bed with him. Fall back into a convenient place of comfort that made her feel okay for at least a little while. But then he was always gone again. Back to his life. The one he had lied about and hid from her for over a year. She knew what she was doing was wrong, continuing to hook up with him when he had a fiancee was wrong, but the headspace she had been trapped in hadn’t allowed her to move forward and do what was really best for herself.

It wasn’t until there was a second pregnancy scare when Minji was only 8 months old that Izzie decided to put her foot down and stop the situationship. Even now that she’d gotten an IUD placed she decided she couldn’t keep getting tangled up with a man who was committed to someone else, and completely emotionally unavailable to her. 

MJ DAD: Of course it was her idea. We are picking up chicken and heading over. 

Izzie’s stomach growled as she read the text. She hadn’t had fried chicken in ages, it was her favorite but for some reason Minji refused to eat it unless it was with her dad. She quickly picked up the collection of cups she’d let gather on the coffee table and grabbed drinks for the three of them before they arrived.

Once inside, Minji gave her mom a tight hug and began telling her mom about all the things she’d done with her dad so far. Mostly just her routine at daycare and hanging out with the nanny, but to the 3 year old it was exciting.

“Appa measured me, and said I was big enough to ride the pokemon balloon ride at Lotte world.” Minji proclaimed while she chewed on a chicken leg. “We are going to go in 4 days.”

“That sounds exciting.” Izzie forced a smile. She had wanted to be the first one to take Minji to Lotte world, but now that chance had been taken away. It wasn’t lost on Izzie that Minji’s father knew that and probably planned it with the idea that he would try and convince Izzie to join them. “Make appa take lots of pictures for me.” Izzie added, setting the boundary that she wasn’t going to go. A frown formed on Minji’s father’s face, but Izzie ignored him and took a bite of radish. 

As they chatted a little more Izzie learned that Minji’s father was extending his trip so he could add 2 more songs to his upcoming album, which meant more time with Minji for him. Izzie added the new dates, and the both of them explained to Minji that she was welcome to come back home anytime she wanted, even if it was just for a night if things felt too big. Minji nodded seriously, then ran off to find her markers because, ‘I can’t color Appa’s tattoos with his yucky markers’.

Her father had a full sleeve in mostly black and white and, when allowed, Minji would spend hours next to him filling in the blank spaces with washable marker. It was incredibly sweet to watch, and every time Izzie would feel her heart tug a little. He may not have been a good person to Izzie, but he was an amazing father and that’s what made their co-parenting situation as easy as it was.

Izzie began cleaning up the leftovers from dinner, but when she turned around in the kitchen Minji’s father was standing right behind her. His hand on the counter in a half attempt to trap her. “What?” Izzie asked, as she tried to ignore the rapid increase of her heartbeat.

“I’m getting a divorce.”

“Good for you.” Izzie was fighting all her impulses. The ones that told her to hug him, the ones that said this could finally be their time, and the ones that said now she could trust him. She hated how quickly she wanted to jump into his arms. She hated how easy it seemed for her to be able to let him be her safe space again.

“Izzie.”

“Getting a divorce and I’m divorced are two different things.” Izzie was thankful for the one brain cell that decided to pull its shit together and allow her to form words as all the others misfired under the smell of his cologne and the gaze of his dark brown eyes. Even though he was significantly older than her, he still looked so young, with a tinge of innocence left in his face that had no place being there. Izzie pushed past him, needing to keep her focus and ability to hold her ground. Even after all this time, and all the hurt, she could still feel her heart being pulled towards him. She heard him let out a deep sigh, but she didn’t turn back to see him before she disappeared into Minji’s room.

The toddler had become distracted, now sitting on the floor lining up her stuffed Pokemon toys while their cat sat curled up next to her, the markers long forgotten. Each of the animals were lined up in order of their Pokemon number. Izzie had no idea how Minji remembered each one but someone the toddler had logged away the information. Each new plush brought a new number and time set aside to rearrange them. Izzie let Minji finish up, then helped her gather up her things so that her father could drive them back to his apartment on the other side of the Han River, despite his kind offer to crash in the guest room. 

Izzie sank down in the comforting warmth of her bubble bath and, for the first time since she’d met him, she wished she had Chris’s number. She didn’t know what she wanted to say to him, but she had a feeling he’d listen to whatever ramble she spewed or would read whatever random text she sent. She needed the distraction. She couldn’t let herself be tempted by Minji’s father. No matter what he said, no matter if he did get divorced, it would never be a healthy situation for her. She knew that. They were much better as co-parents living apart than attempting to be parents in a romantic relationship. 

Chris wandered his way back into her thoughts. She knew he was an idol, and she had a rule against dating idols, but she was feeling like he might be worth breaking that rule. She loved the way she flustered him so easily, as she tiptoed on the line of flirting. Still she wasn’t sure if he was into her or just felt a connection to her kid. Izzie didn’t understand why Minji had gravitated towards him and held on but now that she had Izzie knew there was no easy way to sever the tie they had made. 

Even though Minji wasn’t with her she realized she had been keeping track of the days since she had last seen Chris, and before she knew it 2 weeks had flown by. Izzie stood behind the counter, trying to stay busy, but every time the cafe door opened and the bell chimed she found herself whipping her head in that direction in anticipation that it was him. She hoped he would come, even though he said he didn’t know when he would. It had been two weeks though, and he should be back from Japan now. She was behaving worse than Minji with her expectations. She knew she needed to reel it in but there was nothing or noone to hold her back.

“Iseul, I need you to open the business email right now,” Hana had a slight panic in her voice which was almost as alarming as her using Izzie’s government name. a

Izzie pulled out her phone and opened the email to see one titled “URGENT OFFER”. It had been opened already, clearly by Hana. Izzie clicked on the message and began reading it over and over as she tried to grasp what it meant.

To the owners of Cafe Play,

This is a representative of JYPEntertainment. We would like to inquire about using your Cafe to film a show with one of our groups. We would require you to close your shop for 2 days to allow for adequate filming time. Of course appropriate compensation would be provided upon approval by both parties. If you would like to proceed with a meeting to discuss in depth details please contact me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. 

Thank you, 

Lee Sejun 

“ You have to call him right now,” Hana was so giddy she was practically vibrating out of her skin. She LOVED k-pop and just knew whichever group they brought in would be her opportunity to meet a famous idol. “Oh my god, what if it's Twice? Or Itzy? A boy group would be fine but if NMIXX came in, I. Would. DIE.” 

“Hana, calm the fuck down.” Izzie commanded as she held her phone in her hand, the email still open with her finger hovering over the phone number. Hana huffed then looked into Izzie’s eyes. “I’m going to call them now,” Izzie conceded. She walked back into her office and sat at her desk with her laptop open and finally clicked on the number in the email.

The phone rang twice before a gruff manly voice answered, “This is Lee Sejun.” 

“Hi, this is Jeon Iseul, the owner of Cafe Play. I received your email and would like to set up a meeting for more details.”

“I can come to your cafe today at 3, if you are available.”

Izzie agreed and ended the call. Her heart was racing. How had she and her little quirky cafe ended up on the radar of one of the biggest entertainment companies in Korea? Either way none of that mattered. What mattered now is that she had a meeting in an hour. She stepped out of her office and let Hana know that she would need to get a part time employee to cover the counter so Hana could join her during the meeting. They immediately found someone to fill in and then Hana and Izzie tucked themselves into the office and began pulling data. In order to be compensated fairly for being closed for two days they needed to have proof of sales for the company. They pulled 3 months worth of data and organized it by day of the week. Izzie was impressed with how focused Hana was while they did the work they needed to. Just as they saved the document there was a knock on the office door letting them know that Mr. Lee had arrived.  

Hana and Izzie both stood then bowed to greet the man. He was shorter than Izzie had expected based on the deep voice he extruded, but his face was kind and she wondered how someone who looked so gentle worked in such a cut throat industry. The meeting went on and Mr. Lee explained to them that there were 8 members in the group, making Hana frown as that eliminated her hopes, and that they wanted to film 2 activities with the group. The plan was while 4 were ‘playing’, the other 4 would make drinks as a challenge and then on day two they would switch. He then opened up his calendar and gave them a list of dates that would work. Once Izzie and Hana confirmed that they could film in one week, he sent an email to his office so that the women could sign NDAs. Izzie also emailed her business lawyer so she could have her review the documents and the contract just to be safe. She wanted to make sure that she and her daughter were well protected during this. 

By the time Mr. Lee left, Izzie was drained. She had what seemed like a never ending list of things to do before the filming date. Her own father was out of town so she was thankful that Minji’s dad was in town to care for her daughter while she focused on this project. Also, thanks to Hana’s insane eye for detail, she wasn’t worried about the condition or cleanliness of the cafe. Hana made sure it stayed spotless and all repairs to furniture were done immediately. The cafe was more than ready and well prepared for this, she just needed to prepare herself. They were advised that they would not be on camera at all, but they would both need to be on site during the duration of filming. Each filming day was expected to last at least 6 hours, but could run into 10 hours depending on how the day went. They were also advised that the group could be a bit chaotic and if there was an exceptional mess they would pay for cleaning of the cafe.

Hana didn’t know boy groups, as she was a die hard girl group fan, but still she found herself trying to figure out who it could be. Then with a little bit of research she realized who it was and who Izzie and Minji’s visitor had been all along. She cursed herself for not recognizing him. She’d heard his stage name at least 100 times even from the girl groups she followed, but with Izzie and Minji calling him Chris she had been thrown off. Hana knew Izzie didn’t hate idols but she didn’t want to be involved with them in her personal life. Honestly, Hana was surprised when Izzie agreed to the filming so easily, she thought she was going to have to push more to get the cafe owner to agree. 

Now she was left with the decision of whether or not to let Izzie know that her ‘friend’ was not only an idol but one of the biggest names in boy groups and would be at the cafe filming with his group. Hana didn’t know exactly what was going on with Chris and Izzie, and maybe it was nothing, but there was still the possibility it was SOMETHING. She decided to keep her secret to herself and watch to see how things played out. After all there was the chance that Izzie knew that Chris was coming, that he had told her before the email. 

Hana took charge of creating the drinks the group would be making. She printed new copies of their recipes and made sure they had the ingredients, plus a few extra so they could be creative with options. Izzie handled the baking herself. She made enough brownies and cookies for 30 people, hoping that would cover all the staff that attended the production of the filming. Then she ordered kimbap from the acquaintance who provided snacks for her adult night at the cafe.
By the time the first day of shooting arrived, it had been over 3 weeks since Izzie had seen Chris. She began to wonder if he had moved on and found someone else to fawn after. That’s what men always did anyways. It was always fun and games until a new pretty little thing came along. Once upon a time she had been that pretty little thing she reminded herself as she thought about her relationship with Minji’s dad.

Izzie and Hana arrived at the cafe at 5am, far earlier than either of them wanted to be awake, let alone out and functional. They had about an hour before the production crew would arrive and then the band was supposed to arrive ‘sometime’ after that. Izzie had become so used to needing to be on a tight schedule for Minji’s sake that the idea of just waiting to see what happened put her on edge. Izzie smoothed out her dress and put on a clean apron. The green half-apron perfectly complimented her strawberry adorned dress.  Izzie stopped in front of the mirror across from her office door and took in her appearance. She looked extremely feminine and dainty, even with her high top converse topping off her look. Her hair was pulled into a sleek ponytail with the ends hanging in her natural loose curls and she’d added just a touch of makeup for professionalism's sake. It wasn’t unusual for her to wear a dress into the cafe, but it was new for her to put THIS much time into her appearance. 

She made her way back out to the front of the house just in time for the camera crew to arrive and begin setting up. After a quick introduction that included many bows, they set about hanging curtains in the windows to maintain privacy for filming. Izzie hated the dark, and the lack of sunlight was already making her feel sad, but she took a deep breath and reminded herself it was temporary. More and more people began to flow in and out of the cafe. Management, production crew, and a couple of make-up artists who set up camp at one of the counter height tables that were set up out of the way. They had minimal supplies and Izzie assumed they were just there for touch ups. There was so much going on all at once that Izzie barely had time to form a thought, let alone let anxiety of the chaos set in. In some ways she was thankful, and in others she was begging for reprieve.

The doors opened again and 8 men, dressed for what seemed to be all different occasions, came in donning face masks. They immediately began bowing and greeting every person they passed as they entered the cafe, then one man gathered the group and directed them in a synchronized group greeting, thanking the production team. Izzie watched from her station behind the counter, too anxious to focus on their faces even when they stripped off their masks. She busied herself with making sure all the drink items were set up in easy reach and the visual recipes were available for quick reference, until the group appeared in front of her. She looked up, no longer able to avoid coming face to face with a group of idols who she knew would want to be friendly and possibly flirty as their image and job often demanded. Her eyes settled on a familiar face, immediately recognising this smirk as he waited patiently for her to acknowledge him.

“Step out. We are Stray Kids,” the group chanted in perfect time with a deep polite bow. When they came back to standing, Izzie could only shake her head at Chris. “Really? Did you plan this?” She asked. 

“Not exactly. It was really Felix’s idea. I guess your brownies really changed his life.”

“I need to know what’s in them,” Felix begged, with his hands pressed together and his eyes filled with need. Izzie shook her head, “I’ll never tell.” Felix’s expression changed into a playful pout and Izzie could feel herself relaxing. She scanned the faces of the other men recognizing Changbin and Han, but realizing there were 4 more she had yet to meet. Chris quickly took charge and began introducing all the members once again. Izzie repeated each of their names, hoping she’d be able to remember them all, then introduced herself with her Korean name and nickname before calling Hana over to introduce her as well. The next thing they knew, the production crew was directing them to begin setting up for the shoot. Izzie tucked herself into a booth and watched as they began.

Hyunjin, Felix, Changbin and Jeongin were set up to make drinks first while Chris, Han, Leeknow, and Seungmin were directed to the play area with their own set of cameras and crew. There was so much happening at once that Izzie had no idea where to look. One second Felix was squealing as the blender lid threatened to pop off, another there was a scream coming from the play area as Leeknow chased around Seungmin. Izzie and Hana found themselves tucked deep into the booth with their hands over their mouths as they muffled their laughs. As the day went on, time seemed to both fly by and drag as slowly as possible. When filming for the day was finally called to an end, Mr. Lee approached Izzie and handed her an envelope. “We will give you the rest of the payment following the end of tomorrow’s shoot.” Izzie thanked him, and once everyone cleared out she opened the envelope and her jaw fell open wide. She was sure the company had made a mistake. This wasn’t enough to cover a day worth of being closed but instead an entire month.

Izzie whipped out her phone and sent a text to Mr. Lee, sure he had made a mistake, but instead he told her that no mistake was made and that this is the rate their company agreed on after seeing her data. It still made no sense to her, but she realized that there was no sense in arguing.

The next day of filming started just as early, but thankfully ended sooner as the band and the production team had a better rhythm for the day. As the camera crew began packing up, 4 of the guys approached her.

“Seriously, I’ll pay you anything you want for the brownie recipe,” Felix giggled as he begged Izzie once again. “Mine are missing something and I just need to know what it is.”

“Never. Only 4 people have it.” Izzie smirked.

“So, how do you feel about our leader?” Changbin asked, causing all of them to turn their heads in his direction.

“Your leader?” Izzie asked, trying to remain casual.

“Yeah, our Channie Hyung. He seems to…” But a hand flew over Leeknow’s mouth.

“He seems to what?” Izzie prodded as the men suddenly all had a guilty look on their faces. She was more than amused as to what was being suggested by the bunny toothed man. She wanted to know more, but when Chris approached the men dispersed, saying they would see him back at the dorms. Izzie and Chris were left alone, in their corner of the room, as a heavy silence settled between the two of them. They both began to speak at the same time only to stop and laugh together. Chris’s ears turned red as he reached up to rub the back of his neck. Izzie’s cheeks tinted with red as she played with the lace on the hem of her apron while her eyes focused on the bulge of his biceps. Damn he is toned.

“Would, you, uh… go to dinner with me? I mean Minji is gone and I know eating alone isn’t fun. I’m not really up for the chaos of the kids tonight.” Chris was rambling as he watched Izzie’s face. Her stoic expression turned into a smirk before she nodded.

“Yeah. Sounds good.” 

Chapter Text

Izzie wasn’t sure why she said ‘yes’ to Chris’s invitation, but he wasn’t wrong about not wanting to eat alone. Part of her kept secretly hoping that Minji would request to come home for dinner again, but instead she seemed to be happy and comfortable with her father which was its own win, so she kept her complaints to herself. Izzie made it back to her apartment without Hana suspecting anything, but as soon as she stripped off the dress she wore to work she began to panic. Her mind raced as she tried to figure out what kind of dinner this was. He hadn’t said it was a date, but his level of nervousness kind of made it seem like it could be a date. He didn’t say where they were going, so she struggled to figure out what to wear. The weather was warm, so a dress would be suitable, but she worried it would come off as too fancy. Especially if this wasn’t a date. Panic was setting in as she flipped through her wardrobe. 

She pulled out her favorite sweater, but tossed it to her bed. Too warm. She moved the hangers rapidly, finding the top she’d purchased a few weeks ago, and held it up to her body in front of her full length mirror. Crop top, too revealing. To the pile it went. T-shirt, too casual. Toss. Tank top, stained. Toss.

“FUCK.” She checked her phone and realized she only had 10 minutes before she was supposed to be downstairs to meet him. She gave in and dialed Hana’s number.

“Help. I’m panicking. But I need you to not freak out.”

“Is Minji okay?”

“Yeah she’s fine. I’m going to dinner with a guy and I don’t know what to wear.” Izzie rushed out the words before Hana could interrupt her. She waited patiently for Hana to respond but after a few seconds of silence she wasn’t sure if Hana was still there. “Hana? Are you still there?”

“Yeah…I’m just… staying calm…” Hana breathed out as she tried to contain her excitement. She had SO. MANY. QUESTIONS.

Izzie laughed. She knew Hana was ready to explode, but she really needed her to focus. “You can freak out later. Right now I have 8 minutes to get dressed and downstairs.”

“Okay, Okay. Wear your wide leg jeans and a tight fitting t-shirt. If you get down stairs and he’s dressed up super nice just run up and change. He can wait for you…. Whoever he is…”

Izzie rushed out a thank you and promised to fill Hana in later. She took the woman’s advice, dressing in her medium wash wide leg jeans and a black, tight fitting t-shirt. Her hair was still up, so she dabbed on a little eye make up, grabbed her purse, and took off for the elevator.

She felt like she’d made it down in record time and once outside her building she found Chris leaning against a wall, wearing jeans, a black t-shirt, baseball cap, and face mask.  After confirming Izzie liked pho, he handed her a matching mask then led the way. The walk was short and quiet. Neither of them were really sure what to say as they strolled through the neighborhood.

Once inside the tucked away eatery, a rush of relief ran over both of them. The restaurant was busy but not overly crowded and they were in a booth in the back corner, away from the other patrons, with a moderate amount of privacy. Chris took off his mask first and smiled at Izzie, causing her to relax and feel at ease. She slipped off her own mask and tucked it into her bag before picking up the menu to focus on the food offerings. She knew exactly what she wanted but she needed something to do other than stare at the handsome man sitting across from her.

Her will was waning and thoughts of her dating him, being with him, were invading her brain. The more she saw him, the closer she looked at him, the more she wanted to get to know him. The risk of putting herself out there, being vulnerable, and opening up her life for a man was still terrifying. She didn’t want to get hurt and more than anything she didn’t want Minji to get attached to someone and then be hurt. Keeping him at arm's length, at a distance, as a friend made sure that Minji would be protected as much as possible. This isn’t a date. It can’t be a date. 

It wasn’t until the waitress came by to take their order that Chris started the conversation. “Is Minji enjoying her time with her dad?

“Yeah, she really loves it when he comes to town. He’s really good to her.”

“But not so good to you?” Chris questioned, with the need to know more about Izzie’s relationship with the father of her child. 

“Honestly, he was great to me while we were together. It was his fiancee he wasn’t so good to.” Izzie took a long drink of her water as she watched Chris for a reaction. 

“Oh damn.” Chris sat shocked as he processed the information. He couldn’t imagine having time to not only have one relationship but two. He so desperately wanted to have a girlfriend, to have someone waiting for him, but his schedule was so packed and busy he wasn’t sure how he could manage it. He hated men who took advantage of women, and he silently promised to himself that if he ever met Minji’s dad, he would make sure to tell him exactly what he thought of him. 

“Okay, I can’t lie. I avoided looking up who you were even though the first day we met I clocked you as an idol. But now that I know for sure, tell me about your group.” Izzie smiled as she watched Chris’s face light up. He was clearly excited to talk about what he did.

He spent the next few minutes telling her about his first 7 years as a trainee, then handpicking his team. Izzie was in awe at his determination to debut and then she realized that Chris would have crossed paths with Minji’s dad at least more than once. He went on to talk about how the group had gained success and shared about his role as music producer and lyricist. 

“Wow, is there anything you don’t do?” Izzie was impressed by him.

“Cheat.” The word was out of his mouth before he could stop himself. He wasn’t sure if Izzie thought this was a date, part of him wanted it to be, but another part of him was terrified. The band was set to go on a tour in North America soon and would be gone for 2 months. Then they would be off to Europe. How would he manage to start and maintain a relationship with someone in the midst of that chaos? He didn’t want to ask someone to be in a long distance relationship with him, but as long as his band was active that’s what they would have to agree to. 

Izzie raised an eyebrow at him. “Well that’s good to hear.” She wasn’t sure what he meant by his statement, and she wasn’t sure she really wanted to know. Food arrived and the conversation continued to flow easily. Izzie told Chris about her life, moving to Korea after the loss of her mom, and her story of opening the cafe as a fun place for families. Chris listened attentively, adding comments when appropriate, and asking questions that showed how interested he was in her and her life. It was comforting to have someone pay attention to her and really want to hear what she had to say, as Minji was usually her only audience and she only wanted to talk about Pokemon. 

Chris’s phone rang, and he excused himself to answer the call, leaving Izzie sitting alone for a moment. She pulled out her own phone and sent a simple text to Hana with just a heart. She tucked her phone back into her bag just as Chris slid back into the booth across from her. “Should we get the check?” Izzie asked.

“Oh, um, I already paid.” Chris’s ears tinted red. It was a cute little thing that Izzie was becoming accustomed to seeing. There was no way for him to hide when he became flustered, and he seemed to become flustered so easily.

“Thank you Chris.”

He liked the way his name sounded coming from her lips. Nope, nope, nope. Don’t go there Chris. He willed his thoughts to stay pure. He could not be thinking about her like that. Not now. Not even when she smiled at him. Or when she pulled her bottom lip into her teeth and chewed on it nervously. Or when she tapped her leg when she wasn’t sure what to say. Not when her foot had brushed against his leg under the table. Or when she looked into his eyes and smirked. No, he could not think about how attracted he was to her. He couldn't think about how long it had been since he’d held a woman or been kissed. Not now anyways. He would wait until he was home, alone in his bed, to be alone with his thoughts and fantasies. 

The two of them walked out of the restaurant and headed back towards their apartments. Chris’s phone was buzzing incessantly as they walked and it was driving him bananas. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just the kids. They’ve taken over my apartment and are trying to get me to come hang out, but I’m just not in the mood for their chaos. I’ll probably head back to the studio.”

Izzie had no idea what was going on in her head, but the words were out of her mouth before her brain could understand what she was saying. “You could come hang out with me, until things calm down. At least it’s close.”

Chris stopped in his tracks, shocked at the offer. “I mean you don’t have to.” She quickly added, as she turned back to where he had stopped. She worried she was being too forward or giving off the wrong idea. But then again, she had no idea what he was thinking. They hadn’t exactly defined if this was a date or not.

“Actually that sounds nice. I could use a break from work and if I go to the studio I’ll end up working.” Chris smiled as he picked up his pace again. He couldn’t see the smile on Izzie’s face as she walked just a few steps ahead of him, but he could see the change in her posture. Her steps were lighter as if she were almost bouncing as they made their way to her apartment building. Out of habit, Chris checked over his shoulder before entering her building, making sure there was no one watching. He could not end up in a scandal. Their complex had strict security and a doorman in every building but he could never be too careful. 

He followed closely behind Izzie as she scanned into the elevator then pressed the button for her floor. He could feel his body vibrating and the impulse to reach out to touch her was so strong. He instead shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and focused on the elevator floor. Izzie quickly pressed in her keycode on the door panel, then opened the door to step inside, holding it for Chris to follow. She quickly toed off her shoes and sat them on the shelf by the door, before guiding Chris into the living space.

“Oh wow. This is bigger than ours.” Chris commented on the open layout that connected the living room, dining space and kitchen.

“It’s a 3 bedroom. I keep a room ready for my dad when he comes to stay to watch Minji.”

Chris nodded, as he glanced around the space, before setting himself awkwardly on the couch. He hadn’t expected to be in this apartment, and it almost felt like an invasion of Izzie and Minji’s space. It was an invasion. He realized the level of vulnerability that Izzie was showing him as she invited him into her home and it made him begin to question what she thought of him. He wanted to know what kind of relationship she wanted with him. He needed to know.

He knew that even though he didn’t know a lot about her he wanted to. He wanted to spend all his free time with her and Minji. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and find out what it would feel like to have her small frame pressed against his. He wanted to know if the whiff of strawberries and vanilla he smelled from her came from her hair or her skin.

“Water?” Izzie asked from the kitchen. She had no idea what to do with herself. She’d never had a man other than her father or Minji’s dad in her apartment. She felt so exposed as she glanced around the space, and even though it was well organized and clean she kept looking for something she might have missed. Any sign that something was misplaced. Any chance to give her something else to focus on other than the man who was sitting stiffly on her sectional. She could see he was just as nervous. They clearly needed to break the ice between them again, but both were stuck in their heads. Too afraid of messing up to move forward. 

Izzie walked over to the couch and sat down two glasses of water onto the table, before grabbing the remote to the TV. “So what do you like to watch? Or maybe we should watch some videos of you?” Izzie teased as she began to navigate the TV to Youtube.

“Oh no. Let’s not do that. You can watch those after I leave.” Chris’s face was beet red, causing Izzie to laugh hard. Instead Izzie changed her path and opened up her digital Studio Ghibli collection. They quickly agreed to watch ‘My Neighbor Totoro”. As the movie began to play they both were able to relax on the couch.

“What’s Minji’s dad’s name?” Chris finally let his curiosity win.

“Oh um… I shouldn’t tell you. He’s idol adjacent and rather infamous…” Izzie frowned. She was afraid he’d ask at some point and even though Minji’s dad’s name wasn’t super unique once it was said she knew Chris would know exactly who it was. She could already see the wheels in his head turning. “I can see you trying to figure it out. I won’t tell you.” Izzie reiterated. She was sure that the two of them not only knew each other but that there was a strong possibility that they had some sort of (at the very least professional) relationship. 

Chris nodded and accepted her answer. For now. Now that he knew he was close with idols, he wanted to know the man who had hurt Izzie. He wanted to make sure that man heard what he thought of him. He wanted to face the man and show him how Izzie and Minji should be taken care of. But was that something he could really do? Could he be at least emotionally available for them? 

“Izzie, I don’t want to waste your time or be unclear.” Chris began causing Izzie to freeze and her heart to race. Her thoughts were running away and she had begun to convince herself he just wanted to be friends. That was okay though. Probably for the best. She reminded herself that she didn’t have time for dating. She didn’t want to risk hurting Minji. Friends were just fine.

“I like you. I don’t know what it is about you. Actually I do. You are gorgeous. I think you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. And you are so kind and protective of your kid. Jesus, I’m rambling.” Chris finally stopped himself.

“Chris.” Izzie hesitated and Chris braced himself for the worst. Of course she wouldn’t want to date him. She already accused him once of just wanting to sleep with her.

“I think I like you too.” Izzie whispered. “I just. I haven’t dated since before Minji was born.”

“It's been a long time since I’ve properly dated someone. Plus, I’m an idol and I travel a lot. We can just take things slow. See how it goes. No pressure.” Chris reached for Izzie’s hands as she anxiously picked at her polish. “What do you say?”

“Just don’t abandon Minji.” There was a new softness in Izzie’s voice. Something Chris hadn’t heard before, and it made him feel something new.

“Of course not.” The two of them shared a gentle smile, then relaxed back on the couch, this time a little closer. Chris could feel his body relaxing and feeling a bit safer in her space. He sat deeper into the sectional and threw his arm over the back of the couch. Izzie saw him relax and the way he physically opened himself up. She could smell his scent, of vanilla and sandalwood, and wanted to be closer. She leaned into him, her head resting on his arm, but as soon as she made contact with him he dropped his arm around her and pulled her closer.

“Is this okay?” Chris asked. Izzie hummed as she nodded in response and relaxed deeper into him. He smelled so good. She knew this man was going to cause her trouble and she could feel herself falling fast, but she had no motivation to stop what was happening.

The movie played on but neither of them paid it any attention. The tension that was building between them was palpable. Izzie’s fingers absently found the hem of Chris’s shirt and began playing with it. Her eyes were focused on the TV but her mind was elsewhere. Chris’s eyes were focused on Izzie’s hand and he felt like he was forcing himself to steady his breathing.

“Iz.” Chris’s voice cracked as his hand caught hers. 

Izzie pulled back, and sat up, “Oh, I’m sorry. I was just…” she trailed off, but her thoughts and words were interrupted with the soft hold of Chan’s fingers on her cheek. His eyes were focused on hers, but Izzie didn’t miss when his eyes flickered to her lips.

“Don’t apologize for being you,” Chris whispered, his breath brushing Izzie’s lips. Izzie nodded in the slightest way, as if she were afraid to move too much, afraid to break the spell that had been cast between them. Her tongue ran across her bottom lip as she noticed the plump shape of Chris’s own lips. They were just slightly chapped, a sign that he chewed on them nervously just as she did.

Just as she sucked in a breath Chris’s lips pressed to hers. Izzie froze, shocked at the contact but not upset by the action. Her brain took a second to catch up but when it did, she kissed him back, matching his soft energy. Chris pulled back first, causing Izzie to involuntarily frown at the loss of contact.

“Don’t pout,” Chris teased her.

“Then kiss me again.” Chris didn’t wait and he wasn’t as soft this time. He kissed her with more force, his hands found her waist and held her close to him as they kissed. Izzie’s hands grabbed on to the fabric of his shirt, holding on for dear life. They were so lost in each other that neither of them heard someone pressing the buttons on the keypad, nor the door to Izzie’s apartment opening. In fact it wasn’t until they heard the gasp of Izzie’s father that they realized that someone had walked in.

Izzie jumped up from the sofa at the sound of her father’s gasp, Chris slid across the couch to create more distance between their bodies even though she had stood.

“Appa?!”

“Oh, I’m sorry Izzie. I tried to call but you didn’t answer. I didn’t realize you had company. I can come back tomorrow.”  Mr. Jeon’s ears and face were deep red as if he had been the one caught making out. He shuffled awkwardly until he was out the door, leaving Izzie and Chris to stew in their own swirl of emotions.

“Not the way I wanted to meet your father,” Chris laughed as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Izzie groaned, threw her head back, and stared at the ceiling for a long second before turning back to Chris. “I’ve literally never been caught by my dad before.” Izzie mumbled, still embarrassed.

Chris stood and walked over to where Izzie was standing and pulled her into his chest. “Hey, we are adults.” He reassured her as he began rubbing soothing circles against her back. It only took a few seconds before he could feel her begin to relax in his hold.

“Maybe we should call it a night?” Izzie hesitantly suggested. She didn’t really want to send him away, but her emotions and anxiety were on the fritz and she needed to calm down. Alone.

“Yeah, probably a good idea. But give me your phone first.”

Izzie reluctantly pulled away from Chris’s arms and grabbed her phone from the kitchen counter. Chris followed her, keeping close behind. His sudden need to stay close to her was going to be a problem, but for now he was going to live in the moment. Izzie turned around and handed him her phone.

“Unlock it please,” Chris smirked.

“Oh, you didn’t say that before.” Izzie laughed. She took the phone and scanned her face, unlocking the device before handing it back over.

“Trouble.” Chris muttered under his breath. He opened her contacts and added his number. “Text me later, okay?” 

Izzie rolled her eyes, not necessarily enjoying being bossed around, “yeah okay.” Chris pressed one more kiss to her cheek then headed out, knowing if he prolonged leaving any more he’d only find more reasons to stay.

Izzie counted to 3 and then sent a text to Chris’s phone.

IZZIE: So I’m going to bed now. Gonna watch a bunch of videos of you. 

CHRIS: I don’t know who Bang Chan is, and I’m not responsible for anything he does or says.
IZZIE: Not even this? *Inserts photo of Chris holding up his shirt at a concert*
IZZIE: Also, how is this the most popular image of you? 

CHRIS: I’ve never seen that before in my life. 😳

Izzie laughed to herself as she read his text. It wasn’t late, only around 9:30, but she was ready to crawl into bed. She changed into a comfy pair of pajamas then settled in under her blankets, making her usual nest of pillows around her as she unlocked her phone again. She had a few missed texts and 2 missed calls from her dad, but she decided to deal with those later. Instead she went back to her search and scrolled through information about the man she was now dating. She wasn’t ready to say he was her boyfriend, they hadn’t established titles of any sort, but at least she could confidently say they were in fact dating.

Izzie was in awe by the sheer amount of content about Chris available online. In just an hour of scrolling she knew his birth name, location, birthdate, blood type, siblings’ and parents’ names, and so much more. Apparently it was also a known fact that he loved pineapple juice and hated coffee and fizzy drinks. She began to feel like she almost had an unfair advantage, she now knew so much about him and he knew so little about her. Still she scrolled on, landing on tiktok where she found the band’s official page. She found herself laughing for entirely too long watching the group's antics until she ended up on fan edits. Izzie froze as images of Chris flashed before her as he rolled his body to a seductive sounding song. Nope, can’t do this. Izzie closed out of the app, and sat her phone on her nightstand. 

Chapter Text

Chris wasn’t surprised at the sight of his apartment when he walked in and normally it would drive him crazy, but tonight he was too happy to care. Felix, Changbin and Seungmin were piled on the floor in front of the TV playing video games while Han and Hyunjin were sitting at the small dining table working on something Chris assumed to be song lyrics. “Jeongin left, said he had an ‘errand’.” Changbin explained as his eyes stayed focused on the game. They all knew what that meant. Jeongin thought he was being sneaky, but they had all long ago figured out he had been dating a woman older than him. Chris had contemplated calling him out, but instead left it alone.

Now here he was with his own secret romance. He was officially dating someone for the first time in years. He was dating someone he barely knew. He laughed to himself as he made his way to his bedroom, but he heard Felix’s iconically deep voice, “someone is in a good mood.” Felix wasn’t wrong though, Chris was in a good mood. He may not know a lot about Izzie, but he planned to spend all his free time getting to know her. And getting to know Minji. He also realized he would need to properly introduce himself to her father now as well. Chris washed up and climbed into bed with his phone in hand. He saved Izzie’s number, labeling her contact as ‘Trouble’ and sent her another text.

CHRIS: When is your birthday?

TROUBLE: So you won’t believe me but it’s October 3rd, 1998. 

CHRIS: Seriously. 

TROUBLE: *picture of passport* 

CHRIS: Who looks that cute in a passport photo?
TROUBLE: Minji’s photo is cute. Mine is terrible. I’m really judging your taste right now. 

CHRIS: Sorry I think you are cute. I take it back.
TROUBLE: Appa wants to know when you plan to propose. 

Chris froze. He tried to type a response several times but ended up deleting each message only to leave Izzie staring at the infamous 3 dots for several minutes.

TROUBLE: Kidding. Did I scare you?

CHRIS: No. 

CHRIS: You are trouble. 

TROUBLE: You like it.

She wasn’t wrong. He did like it. He hadn’t expected this playful mischievous side of her, and the more of it he saw the more he liked. Maybe he had jumped into things a little too quickly, but something about Izzie just felt so right to him. 

Izzie woke the next morning, suddenly feeling sad that her little girl wasn’t there in her bed with her. It had been over a month now of not having her home overnight and it was really beginning to weigh on her. She missed her daughter so much, but she was also happy that Minji was doing so well with her dad. Usually after about a week there was a meltdown that would end up cutting her visit with her dad short. It was clear she’d matured so much in the past few months since he’d last visited. Izzie gave into her urges and called Minji’s dad, and arranged to pick up Minji after daycare, then drop her off at her dad’s after dinner. That was the motivation she needed to finally pull herself out of bed.

Just as she finished brushing her teeth her phone buzzed with a text.

CHRIS: Good morning. 

CHRIS: I hope you slept well. I’ll come see you at the cafe tonight. 

IZZIE: I’m actually taking Minji to dinner tonight. But I’ll text you after.
CHRIS: Okay. Have a good day. 

Izzie’s day dragged by. The cafe was slow and she found herself anxiously watching the clock until it was time to pick up Minji. As soon as it was 3:45, Izzie packed up and bolted out of the door to head to Minji’s daycare. When Minji’s class came to the door for pick up, Minji took off running and slammed into her mother’s arms. “Eomma, I’m so happy to see you!” Izzie hugged her daughter tightly as she picked her up from the ground. After a long hug that left tears pricking at the back of Izzie’s eyes, the two headed off to their favorite restaurant.

Minji loved being able to ride on the bus, it was a rare treat for the small child since most of the places they went were within a 10 minute walk. But today was an extra special occasion, she not only got to ride the bus to dinner, but then the subway and another bus to her dad’s house. Izzie was pleasantly surprised to hear how talkative Minji was while they ate their favorite pizza. When they were done they rounded out their meal with a stop at an ice cream shop, then they were on their way to Minji’s father’s house.

Izzie had only been to Minji’s father’s place a handful of times, and only usually for a moment, not allowing herself to feel comfortable or risk feeling wanted in his space. This time she let her guard down and when she stepped inside she took off her shoes, and made herself comfortable on the couch, but only for a moment before Minji was pulling her into her bedroom. Izzie froze in the doorway. Minji’s father had taken the time to completely recreate Minji’s bedroom at her own apartment. From the bedroom furniture to the toys, everything was exactly the same. Only the closet and windows being different. That clearly had been a reason Minji had been so comfortable with him this time. He was finally really seeing her. He had followed her schedule, made her meals, and made her space safe for her. “Eomma, come on,” Minji demanded as she tugged on her mother’s hand. 

Izzie snapped out of her trance and followed her daughter into her room. She played with Minji until Minji’s dad said that it was time for pajamas and bed. Minji asked her mom to stay, and Izzie happily obliged, enjoying the feeling of being not only needed but wanted. Izzie helped her daughter dress, brush her teeth, and then she snuggled in the twin sized bed with her as she read her a bedtime story. Just as the story ended Minji had fallen asleep, leaving Izzie to sneak out of the room to be greeted by Minji’s father. “Stay for a glass?” He held up a bottle of Izzie’s favorite wine. He still knew the way to keep her close despite all the walls she’d built.

“One glass,” Izzie agreed. The two of them sat on his couch, while they sipped the wine. Izzie focused on the sweet notes of the white wine, rather than the way she could feel his eyes on her. She suddenly felt self conscious in her tight fitting shirt and slim fitting jeans. It was a casual enough outfit for her day at the cafe and the evening spent with her daughter, but the way his eyes raked over her made her feel exposed. She had a feeling that even if she were dressed in 10 layers, he’d still make her feel that way.

“I go back to the States in a week,” he began.

“I know. I’m so ready to have Minji home.”

“To sign divorce papers. It will be final.” He added. 

Izzie looked at him, she already knew where this was going.

“I could move here permanently, we could try again. Really try. No secrets. No lies.” 

Izzie’s head was spinning, she couldn’t believe this was happening. The man who had led her on for years was BEGGING for another chance. He legitimately looked pitiful as he waited for her to respond. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. We co-parent just fine. If you are going to be here full time we can switch off each week if you’d like. You are a good dad to Minji. You are so good for her.”

“I could be good for you. I can be good to you. Come on Iseul, just give me a chance.” Izzie didn’t want to fight with him, she just wanted him to let go of the idea that they could be together. She knew there was no way she could ever trust him with her heart again. Those days were long gone. She couldn’t be the woman curled up crying and trying to figure out if he loved her, she needed to focus on Minji and her cafe. Plus now she has Chris. There was absolutely no space in her life for his chaos. Izzie’s phone chimed from her pocket and she pulled it out to see who it was.

CHRIS: Hey, I hope you had a good day. 

CHRIS: Is it too soon to say I miss you? 

“Is that Chris?” Minji’s dad scowled, his jealousy obvious. Izzie had no idea how he would know about Chris, until it dawned on her that Minji must have told him. “Who exactly is Chris? Is he your boyfriend?”

“It’s Minji’s friend who frequents the cafe.” Izzie answered before responding to Chris. She did not want to dive into this conversation, not now. Not when he was already pressuring her for so much.

IZZIE: Not at all. I like being missed. 

IZZIE: I like being cuddled more though.
CHRIS: I can be over in 5.
IZZIE: I’m not home. I’m at Minji’s dad’s house. 

“I think it’s time for me to go. Look, we can't be together. I can’t go back to those feelings. I’ll see you when you drop off Minji next Friday.” 

CHRIS: Tease. 

IZZIE: I’ll be home in 30 minutes if you want to meet me…

CHRIS: I’ll be there. 

Izzie hopped in an uber and scrolled through her phone as she made her way across Seoul. She had no idea what had gotten into her. She hadn’t felt this excited about seeing a man since she was first dating Minji’s dad. When she finally arrived at the gate to her apartment she got out at the pedestrian gate. Izzie walked to her building, only to find Chris waiting inside leaning against the wall opposite of the elevator wearing his usual beanie and mask. She didn’t acknowledge him, but instead pressed the button for the elevator and waited quietly. Once the doors opened she slipped inside and he was right behind her. 

The doors closed and as soon as the elevator started to move, Chris closed the small distance between the two of them, his arms caged her in against the cold metal wall. Izzie sucked in a breath as she stared into Chris’s dark brown eyes. She could feel her entire body respond to something as simple as his gaze and it made her feel weak. All her nerves felt like they were on fire and she needed Chris to soothe the burn.

“I missed you. I have no business missing you. But I missed you.” 

Izzie smiled hearing his sweet confession. Maybe, just maybe he was as into her as she was him. They stood still just staring at each other until the elevator stopped and Chris pulled back in case there were any other residents in the hall. But once inside Izzie’s apartment, he toed off his shoes and grabbed Izzie’s arm, pulling her to him before she could make it to her living room. His pull was a little stronger than he intended and she crashed into his chest, causing her to laugh as she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. She took a deep sniff of his cologne, memorizing his scent once again, wishing she could be bathed in it.

Finally he let her go and Izzie took his hand to lead him to the couch. She waited for him to sit and then she sat close to him. He immediately pulled her back to his chest and let out a deep sigh, as if he had something heavy on his mind.

“Are you okay?” Izzie asked him. 

“Yes. I mean…” Chris began and stopped before groaning. “I hate being this guy, but is there something to worry about with you and Minji’s dad? Mr. Mystery man.”

Izzie almost let out a laugh, at least until she looked up and saw the worried look on his face. “Chris, there is nothing between us. I promise. He’s getting a divorce and talking about moving back here, but that just means he will have more time with Minji, not me.”

Chris nodded but before he could say anything Izzie kept going. “We co-parent and that’s it. We haven’t had any sort of romance between us in 2 years.”

“I’m sorry,” Chris apologized.

“Don’t apologize for being you,” Izzie reminded him of the words he’d used on her just the night before. “If we are going to date I want you to feel comfortable talking to me about anything. We are still getting to know each other and I’m glad to answer any questions you have.” 

Chris smiled and hugged her tightly. “Thank you.” It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He’d never dated anyone with a kid and never imagined he would. He had no idea how this dynamic should work, but he had a feeling if things got serious between them he’d meet the father when Izzie felt it was right. He had spent the day letting his thoughts run wild as he tried to figure out who the man could be, but the only idols or idol adjacent men he knew that had kids were married and lived in Korea. Who could I know that is living a secret life? 

Chris shook the thoughts from his head and focused back on the gorgeous woman in his arms. They had only been officially dating for 24 hours, and it felt like he was completely obsessed with her. He was trying to keep his cool and remain in control, but everything about her made him weak. 

He leaned down, tilted her face up to him, and pressed his lips to hers. The first kiss was short, sweet, and left him wanting more. Izzie adjusted herself and kissed him again, this time deeper as he pulled her closer to him. He tested the waters, gently swiping his tongue along her bottom lip, and when she easily welcomed him in he had to slow down for a second, afraid he was going to lose control.

Their tongues tangled together and a soft moan escaped from Izzie’s lips and directly into Chris. He pulled back, giving each of them a second to catch their breath. But after only a beat Izzie was desperately pulling him back to her. She kissed him like he was giving her life and if he stopped she just might stop existing. 

Chris attempted to steady himself by grabbing her waist, but instead of making contact with her shirt, he made contact with her bare skin, not realizing her shirt had ridden up at some point. Izzie initially stiffened at the contact but then she was pressing herself closer to him and searching for the hem of his shirt. Chris held onto her soft skin, his fingers splayed as they gently explored her abdomen. Chris leaned more into her as her hands slid under his shirt and he guided her to lay back on the sectional. He hovered over her, taking in her appearance just for a second before he was back to kissing her lips. His head was spinning and he wanted more of her. His kisses shifted from her lips to her jaw. He took his time moving lower down her neck, taking mental note of each sound she made, finding her most sensitive spots as her hands held onto his back from inside his shirt.

Izzie’s head was spinning, she hadn’t felt like this in so long. So needy and wanting as she was being kissed and touched. She wanted more, she wanted to see the soft skin her hands were running over, and not just in a video she’d seen on Tiktok. She began to tug at his shirt, but the sound of his phone made them both stop in their tracks. “Fuck,” Chris groaned as he pressed his forehead to Izzie’s.

“You have to go,” she wasn’t sure if it was a question or statement.

“I do.” Chris frowned. “I have early dance practice and I promised our manager I’d have a track done as well.” He stood from his spot on the couch and helped Izzie up from where she laid. He reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, a dangerous move for a man with a Black woman, but she decided she’d teach him proper etiquette later.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” Izzie hoped she could fill more of her kid free nights with steamy makeout sessions at the very least, but Chris’s frown told her otherwise.

“I actually have a project I’m ghost writing for and we only have this week to work on it. I’ll keep you updated and promise to come over the first chance I get.” Chris stuck out his pinky finger making Izzie laugh and almost forget her disappointment. She locked her pinky with his, only for him to pull her in for one more quick kiss. 

Izzie didn’t bother to stop herself from whining when he let go of her for the last time, causing him to look back before leaving out her door. She had no idea how hard it was for him to leave her. He didn’t know when he could come back and the thought of not seeing her for the rest of the week was already pulling at his heart. 

Izzie spent the next two days throwing herself fully into work at the cafe, doing anything and everything to distract her from not only missing Minji but now also missing Chris. She felt absolutely ridiculous at the prospect of missing a man she’d only just started dating a few days ago, but here she was scrubbing the underside of the slide to distract herself.

Her father had teased her relentlessly when she finally called him back after their run in and he promised from now on to loudly announce himself if he came over unannounced. She didn’t want her dad to lose his free access to her home, but she also didn’t want to worry about being caught again, especially if things progressed further. She sure hoped they would progress further. Anytime she ran out of things to do her mind wandered back to where she was on the couch with Chris hovered over her, feeling her body, and exploring her neck with kisses. She wanted to offer more of herself to him, but maybe she should focus and go slow. She didn’t want her relationship to burn too hot too fast only for it to explode in the end. She needed something that was steady and consistent. Minji needed that too. Izzie knew their definitions of consistency would be different thanks to his idol life, but she was determined to figure out how to make it work. 

Izzie was heading back to the counter when she heard a familiar group of voices enter the cafe loudly. She turned around to see 3 of the members of Stray Kids strolling to the front counter. She was proud of her ability to recall their names as she greeted them before taking their order. Changbin, Han and Hyunjin were as giggly as a group of teenage girls as they tucked themselves into a booth with notebooks and their phones out. Clearly they were there for a snack and change of scenery as they worked. Izzie discreetly snapped a photo and sent it to Chris.

TROUBLE: It’s almost a sick kind of torture for them to be here without you.
CHRIS: I’m sorry. I’m stuck in the studio while a few guys record. Those 3 better be working.
TROUBLE: They look like they are trying. 

CHRIS: If I finish this track with a friend tonight I can see you tomorrow. 

TROUBLE: Don’t tease me. 

Chris could feel a rush of blood head south, causing him to lock his phone and put it away, even though their break wasn’t quite over. He turned back to his laptop and threw himself into work. He hoped that he and the artist could come to a quick agreement so he had the free time to see his girl. My girl. He wasn’t sure if he could really call her that just yet, but he would keep the phrase tucked inside until she let him claim her as his own. Chris hadn’t had an official girlfriend in at least 3 years and even his hookups were few and far between as he was always working. Always making a new track. Always writing a new song. Always producing a new album. Always filming. There was always work to be done.

At least now with the new contract Chris was allowed to say no occasionally and the guys were promised at least 2 nights off a week plus a free weekend every 2 weeks, and at least 3 weeks off a year for them to travel home. It might not seem like much, but it was a huge sense of control for the group. Many of them had been facing burnout, emotional struggles, and a general homesickness. It didn’t help that at their age most of them didn’t have a partner to comfort them in the hard times. A steady rock in their sea of chaos. 

Leeknow and Han had been lucky to have found love in each other, but they still had their own struggles. Leeknow was often left waiting while Han worked in the studio far past his scheduled time, determined to write the next hit for the group. Han was oblivious to how he made his partner feel, as he worked himself into depression. Then there was dealing with the company. They had kept their relationship secret given their contract, but upon renewal they made sure that each of them were protected and they were allowed to be with each other. It didn’t solve all their problems but it did put them all at ease.

With the new contact the idols could date but there were still rules. They needed to have their partner sign NDAs, have background clearance from the company, and agree to have their phones cleared in case the relationship ended. Chris understood the reasons for all the precautions but he also realized this was a lot to ask of someone he wasn’t sure was serious about him. He just needed to keep things under the radar until he was ready to have that conversation with Izzie. He knew he could do it, as long as he stayed focused and met deadlines. No one would suspect anything. They always assumed if he wasn’t in the dorm or with them he was in the studio and there was generally no one to check. Not unless Felix or Sejun came to kick him out to make sure he got some sleep before an early schedule. 

Chris finished up recording with his members just in time to go meet the other artist he was working with. He walked into the studio after Sejun dropped him off and greeted the man he’d been casual friends with since his trainee days, even though the man was 9 years older than him.

“Jay! Ready to get to work?” Chris asked as he greeted the older man. 

“Of course! Hey, I have a visitor with me. She’s small and will color quietly, but she doesn’t like new people so don’t be offended if she doesn’t talk to you,” Jay explained.

Chris nodded, entered the studio room, and began setting up his laptop not bothering to look for the ‘little visitor’ Jay had told him about. He opened up the file on his computer and began playing it for Jay to listen to, but just a few seconds in they were interrupted by a tiny voice.

“Appa, can I have a snack?” The small child held up her backpack for Jay, but before he could respond she shrieked loudly. “CHRIS!”

“Minji?” Chris turned and focused on the small girl who was launching herself into his lap. Jay and Chris locked eyes, both immensely confused at this situation.

“You know my daughter? You are THAT Chris?”

“You have a daughter? You are Minji’s dad?!” 

Minji was oblivious to the conversation as she sat in Chris’s lap happily poking at the buttons on his shirt. “I misses you so much,” Minji muttered happily as she hugged him again.

“She misses you?” Jay was trying to understand. “I need you to explain.”

Chris was torn between his excitement of seeing Minji again and wanting to go off on Jay for not treating Izzie well. He was the cheater that broke her heart. He was the man who made her feel worthless. He was the man who didn’t stick beside the woman who’d had his baby. Left her to raise a small child on her own. He was everything Chris hated about men. He perpetuated the stereotypes Chris worked so hard to prove wrong. Chris wasn’t really sure he owed the man an explanation but he did have a contract to fulfill so he chose his words carefully.

“We met by chance. Our group filmed a show at Iseul’s cafe.” Chris gave the barest of explanations, not wanting to share too many details about his relationship with Jay. “I can’t believe you, Jay Park, are a father. How have you kept this secret for so long?” Wheels were turning in Chris’s head. Could this mean he could have a full happy life and still be an idol.

Jay let out a sigh, he’d never brought Minji to the studio before and he’d hoped that her shyness would keep her out of sight. He didn’t really care if Chris knew he had a child. He knew that Chris could keep a secret, but his relationship with Minji might complicate things.

“It was tough, but it helps that my name is fairly common. Plus a few bribes kept officials' mouths closed. She’s listed on my family record, but you are now one of around 10 idols who know.” 

It was as if a race gun had gone off. Each man pulled out their phone and sent a text to Izzie, Chris attaching a photo with Minji and Jay attaching a photo of Minji sitting in Chris’ lap.

When Izzie received both texts, she sat at her office desk paralyzed. They had met each other. The man she was dating and her former lover. Panic took over her as her heart raced and her chest tightened. She had no idea how to manage this situation, it was out of her control.

Chapter Text

Izzie felt like she had blacked out, only coming to when the uber stopped outside of Jay’s studio. Luckily it wasn’t far, but every moment that ticked by felt like a lifetime. She hadn’t bothered to respond to either man, not sure what to say. She hadn’t planned on introducing them for at least a few months, but now here she was not more than a week into dating Chris and he was meeting the father of her child. Izzie’s emotions were all over the place and she had no idea how she was going to react when she saw both men in the same space.

Izzie knocked on the studio door before entering the code and going in. The code had been the same as the last time she was there, 2 years ago. Minji’s birthday. When she stepped inside both of them turned to her, but it was Minji who spoke up first.

“Eomma, look who came!” Minji yelled. It would have been comical that the normally quiet child was so loud had the tension in the room not been so thick.

“I see that.” Izzie responded as her gaze shifted between Chris and Jay. She eventually forced herself to focus and moved to where Minji was sitting on Chris’s lap and leaned down to talk to the child.  “Minji, I need to talk to Appa and Chris. Is that okay?” Minji nodded, and climbed down from Chris’s lap and picked up her backpack before going back into the second part of the studio where Jay had set up a space for her to play.

Izzie sat on the black leather couch in the small room, and waited for someone to speak before realizing it was going to have to be her to start the conversation. 

“Jay, this is Chris that comes to the cafe. Minji really likes him.” Izzie explained, intentionally leaving out how she felt about him. 

Chris’s face tinted red as he was being spoken about, almost as if he wasn’t there. “She’s a really cool kid.” He said just above a whisper, testing the waters of the environment. 

“Yeah she is,” Jay almost growled. Izzie had never seen him behave so protectively. She knew he could put on a show of being possessive, and hoped that he wouldn’t cause any issues. Especially since it was clear they were working together.

“Jay don’t make this something it’s not. How about I take Minji back to your place and put her to bed. Is Jiah available?” Izzie was trying to diffuse the situation, asking about the sitter that usually watched their daughter.

“No, that's why Minji is here,” Jay snapped at Izzie, catching her off guard and causing Chris to stand from his seat. His chest puffed, and his shoulders were taut with tension. He was ready to act if Jay continued to be disrespectful to Izzie.

“Okay, I’ll just take her to my house. Unlock your car please.” Izzie quietly commanded as she moved to go collect her daughter. Once Minji had packed up her things, Izzie scooped up the child who was set into a full pout, disappointed that her time at the studio had been cut short. Izzie ordered an uber and went outside to grab Minji’s car seat from Jay’s car. She was thankful that he hadn’t pushed further, she knew that sometimes he had a hard time with boundaries, but right now more than ever she needed him to just back off.

Just as Izzie pulled open the car door Chris caught the door and began helping Izzie get the carseat settled. “Let me help. I want to make sure you guys get home okay.” Chris’s voice was full of soft pleading and she just didn’t have the will to deny him. Izzie nodded and Chris climbed into the front passenger seat letting Izzie sit with Minji as the driver made his way across the Han river. It wasn’t nearly as late as Izzie thought it was. All the emotions from the last hour had weighed so heavily on her she felt like an entire day had flown by in that short time.

Minji was silent the whole car ride, as if the weight of all the adults' emotions sat on her shoulders as well, which only made Izzie feel guilty for the whole situation. Maybe I should have told both of them sooner. But there wasn’t much to tell. Right?  She felt like she was spiraling as she questioned her own intentions. She needed to be held. Tightly. She needed that deep pressure that would ground her, but she wasn't sure the one person she wanted it from wanted to give it to her.

The car came to a stop ending her chaotic thought process for a moment, and she began to get Minji unbuckled, but the child who was normally anxious to get out of her seat was stiff and unhelpful as Izzie worked to release the straps. When it came time for Minji to climb out, she just sat still, forcing Izzie to pick her up in the small space of the backseat. She was emotionally exhausted but she could see her daughter was too. Izzie did her best to stay calm, hoping to avoid a meltdown but when Minji flopped like dead weight against Izzie refusing to be the slightest bit helpful she became frustrated. “Park Minji. I need your help,” the mother sternly directed the daughter. It was too much. The walls had broken. Minji began crying with a loud whine.

“I’m supposed to be at Appa’s. Appa said I had 4 more nights at his house. This isn’t Appa’s house. This is Eomma’s house.”

“I know Jiji. Sometimes things change.” Izzie whispered as she felt her own dam begin to break. She needed to hold it together, at least until they were in her apartment. Izzie was so wrapped up in her head she’d almost forgotten that Chris was there, until he was holding Minji’s car seat and bag along with his own bag.

Izzie tightened her grip on the crying child as she struggled to get her key card out, but once it was free Chris somehow managed to take it from her and swing the building door open for them. “Thank you,” Izzie whispered, sure she wasn’t heard above Minji’s crying, but Chris nodded in acknowledgement. By the time they made it into the apartment Izzie felt like she was going to collapse, but there was no time for that.

Izzie sat Minji down on the couch, but she immediately threw herself to the floor, screaming that she wanted to go to appa’s, that she was meant to be at appa’s. Izzie was angry with herself, she had been so deep in her own feelings she didn’t even consider how Minji would react to the change in her schedule. Despite feeling completely out of her window of tolerance, Izzie knelt down to get Minji’s attention.

“Minji, I’m sorry that the schedule changed. You can go back to appa’s after daycare tomorrow. Okay?”

“NOT OKAY. I WANT APPA.” Minji kicked her feet with wild abandon, not stopping even when one of her feet made contact with Izzie’s arm. Izzie sucked in a breath, forcing herself to remain in control. She knew losing her temper would only make the situation worse. 

Izzie wrapped her arms around the small thrashing child and carried her off to her room. She was sure Chris would be scared off now, but she couldn’t even bring herself to look at him before she disappeared with Minji.

She sat Minji on her bed, and let the child yell and cry for as long as she needed to. Occasionally Izzie would test the waters, asking if Minji was ready for deep breaths but Minji would only respond with a scream or an attempt to throw one of the stuffed animals from her bed. Izzie looked at her watch, this meltdown had been going on for over 45 minutes, and it was rapidly approaching Minji’s bedtime, meaning the kid was now not just stressed out but exhausted. Izzie was running out of her usual tricks and now she was down to her one last resort. She made sure Minji was safe in her bed, and went to turn on the shower. The sound of the water caught Minji’s attention. Izzie knew one of two things were going to happen, either Minji would willingly go in or she’d have to force her, but she knew what would calm her down.

Izzie went back to Minji’s room to find the child sitting up on her bed, face red, eyes puffy and bloodshot, snot running down her face. “Time for a shower,” Izzie said plainly, waiting to see how Minji would respond.

“I don’t want a shower. I want to go to Appa's shower.”

“I know Minji. I’m sorry. Can we take some deep breaths then take a shower?” Minji shook her head but when Izzie sucked in a deep breath and began to count to 5 Minji followed along. As Minji did her calming breaths with Izzie, Izzie began to help the child out of her clothes. By the time Minji was ready for a shower, she was much more calm, and though she refused to agree verbally she still followed behind her mother.

“Eomma, shower with me,” the small voice requested. Izzie nodded and stripped off her own clothes and climbed into the shower with her daughter. She sat on the shower floor as she washed her daughter and let the water fall over both of them. As much as these post meltdown showers were good for Minji, they were also good for Izzie. The water relaxed them both as they healed from their emotional spiral. Izzie lost track of time as Minji played with her toys while Izzie just soaked in the falling water, but when Minji let out a yawn it was time to get out. 

Izzie grabbed her spare robe she kept in Minji’s bathroom just for these occasions and then got Minji settled into bed. It took a full body massage with lavender lotion and 3 stories but Minji was finally asleep in her bed. Izzie knew she wouldn’t stay there all night, and she was thankful for it, but she did need a little bit of a break. She crept out of the room, pulling the door closed behind her only to see Chris sitting on her couch with two mugs in front of him as he sat on the couch scrolling on his phone.

“You’re still here?” Izzie asked, completely shocked. She’d never expected him to stay. Especially while listening to her daughter have a meltdown.

“Yeah. I made you tea, but it’s cold now. I can warm it up.” Chris moved to stand but Izzie stopped him.

“No, it’s okay. Thank you.”

“I can go.”

“No, please don’t. I just need to change.”

Chris settled back into the couch as Izzie sped off to her bedroom. She stood in front of her full length mirror and took a look at her appearance. She shook her head, embarrassed. Her hair was a soaked tangled mess, her make up smeared, she was in no shape to be hanging out with a man she’d just started dating. But he had stayed. He had waited while she took care of her kid. He stayed when she hadn’t even asked him to. He helped without any questions. But most of all he stayed.

She quickly ran her brush through her hair then gathered her loose natural waves into a messy bun. She searched through her pajamas before settling on a comfy pair of sweatpants and an oversized shirt. She wasn’t quite sure she was ready for him to see her like this but if he couldn’t handle her like this maybe it was better that she knew sooner rather than later.

She crept from her bedroom, spying Chris who had settled deep into the corner of the couch. He heard her bedroom corner close with a soft click and turned to see Izzie standing with her shoulders heavily hung. She looked exhausted, and in some ways even broken. He wanted to fix it for her, but he had no idea where to start, so he did what he knew he could. Chris reached out for Izzie, beckoning her to come join him, and she did with no hesitation. Izzie sat next to Chris, but he didn’t let her keep distance between the two of them, and pulled her body close to him, even pulling her legs across his. Izzie tucked into his body, and hugged him, thankful for his comforting scent and warm presence. She’d held it together but now that she was feeling safe her emotions bubbled over uncontrollably. Tears began to pour from her eyes, and when her body shuttered with a near silent sob, Chris only held her tighter, reminding her that he was there. 

He stayed. 

“You stayed,” Izzie finally mumbled when her sobs came to a stop. Her world still felt like it was spinning out of control. She had internally convinced herself that she was a bad mom. That she knew better than to disrupt Minji’s schedule and the anger her child was feeling was her fault. She shamed herself while she sobbed against his chest, and he’d never know how deeply her heart was hurt by her own brain, but still he stayed.

“Of course I stayed.” Chris said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. When he committed to dating Izzie, he had committed to being there for her. He wanted to get to know all parts of who she was. Not just the pretty face, or teasing moments, but the messy parts, and even the angry parts. He wanted to know all of her. He felt like if he could have his way he would stay by her side forever.

“Why?” Izzie asked.

Chris let out a deep sigh. “Because I want to be with you. All of you. Not just the easy parts. You are a mom. An amazing mom, and I want to be there for you and Minji as much as you’ll allow me.” He hadn’t planned to confess so much so soon in their still blooming relationship, but he’d do anything to put her at ease. He wanted to be an easy part of her life.

Izzie hugged him a little tighter. “Please don’t fight with him.”

Chris wasn’t sure this was a promise he could keep but he would do his best. “I won’t. I do think I’ve just lost that job though.” Chris laughed trying to ease the weight of the day, but instead a fresh round of tears began falling from Izzie’s eyes and he regretted what he said. “Oh no, baby. It’s okay. It was more of a favor anyways.”

Something in Izzie froze at the sound of the pet name. She hadn’t been prepared for him to do that, and she hadn’t realized how much she’d like hearing it. “Baby?” Izzie asked while Chris wiped at the tears on her cheeks.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Chris began but Izzie cut him off. 

“It’s okay. I just didn’t expect it. I like it.” Izzie smiled with puffy eyes. Chris pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, thinking she still looked just as beautiful with her face full of emotion. They sat in the quiet for a long time. Long enough for Izzie to doze off to sleep in his arms. Chris checked the time, and decided he could stay for an hour longer, not wanting to disturb the resting mama.

Chris scrolled through his phone, answering and deleting emails he’d been neglecting for far too long, while Izzie stayed tightly curled into him. He snapped a few pictures of them cuddled together, before carefully stroking over the blooming bruise on her arm from where Minji’s feral kick had landed. 

Chris may be younger than Jay but he knew he could behave more maturely in most cases. He opened his phone to text the older man, ready to try and form a new peace with him. But not for Jay, for Izzie and Minji. He knew the kind of man Jay was. He knew how Jay liked to party, sleep around and drink until he was out of control in public. Clearly no longer caring about his public image. But maybe he never really cared what the public thought of him, and honestly it seemed to be working for him. Chris wished he could let go in the same ways, but being under JYPs name and rule meant it felt like every move, every word, every breath was constantly scrutinized and watched by the company and fans. Sure, he hadn’t been perfect, and had a past of his own, but those days of sneaking out, breaking rules and seeking comfort in all the wrong places were long gone. He loved his job, he loved being an idol despite the weight of it all being so heavy at times. 

Izzie stirred in Chris’s arms, and looked up at him with a soft smile. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been asleep, but it was the most peaceful she’d felt in a while. Sometimes the emotional crashout was worth it. Izzie wasn’t ready for what was to come next. She wished she could keep him tonight. Have him snuggle her all night, until the sun peeked through the curtains, but she couldn’t, not yet. She couldn’t add another change to Minji’s life, it would be too much. They would have to take their time and ease her into the idea if that’s where their relationship was headed. 

Chris’s phone buzzed in his hand with a message from Lee Sejun, and the spell was broken. The manager wanted to know how the song was coming along and if they’d need more time. “I’ve gotta go make a call and head to bed.” Chris regretted having to leave, but he had no choice. Izzie carefully untangled herself from his hold, and gave him a quick goodbye kiss before going to her room, unable to watch him leave. As soon as her front door clicked closed she curled up in her sheets and a new round of tears began to fall.

It was early when Izzie woke up to the sound of Jay’s voice in her apartment. Minji was tucked into Izzie’s side as she carefully got up to deal with the man in her apartment. “Jay, why are you here?” Izzie asked as she clicked her bedroom door closed.

“Is he here?”

“He who?” Izzie was still half asleep and not grasping what Jay was asking.

“Chan. I mean Chris. Whatever it is that you are calling him.  Is he here?”

“No. He left after we got settled.” It wasn’t a lie, and really Jay didn’t need to know how long Chris had hung around. It really wasn’t any of his business.

“I’d like to drop Minji off at daycare.”

“You can go with us. I’ll wake her now.” Izzie knew Jay could be demanding and combative and she wasn’t going to argue with him, not today. It had taken them a long time to get to a peaceful place and she hated that now it seemed that peace was in danger of breaking.

Izzie woke the small child and carried her to her room so she could dress, and went back to the kitchen to begin breakfast. Jay hung at the kitchen bar watching her as she moved about. “Look, Jay I don’t want this to be a thing between us.”

“Is he the reason you don’t want to give me another chance?” 

“Honestly, no.” Izzie said as she cracked the eggs into the bowl. “Jay, you broke trust with me a long time ago. I promised myself I’d never go back to you after I found out you hadn’t told your wife that you had a kid. It was the ultimate betrayal.”

Jay sighed, annoyed. “I’m not the same person. Iz…”

“No, don’t. I’m not discussing this further with you. We will be good co-parents and if you move back to Korea you can see Minji more. As long as you treat her well, I’ll never keep her from you.” Izzie served the eggs on the plate then went to check on Minji who was attempting to brush her hair. Izzie directed the child to ask her appa for help while she went to dress herself for the day. She’d already texted Hana that she needed to take a day off and decided once Minji was settled at daycare she’d go spend the day with her own father.

Jay didn’t push any further, focusing on their daughter as they worked to get her off to school. Izzie quickly said goodbye to the man and headed to go meet her father at his office.

The train was crowded but Izzie didn’t mind, it gave her something to focus on other than her own feelings. Well, it would have but it seemed every direction she looked she saw couples sitting close together. Old couples who’d shared decades together as well as young couples who were learning what love really felt like. Izzie wanted to know. She wanted to know romantic love. She wanted a man who would treasure her and have the drive to keep her safe. Every thought about love floated her to Chris, but she tried to shake it off. It was too soon she thought to be thinking that away about him. She still barely knew him. They’d only been on one ‘unofficial’ date, but now he’d seen her at one of her most vulnerable moments. Izzie subconsciously rubbed at the bruise that Minji had left on her arm. It wasn’t until she was getting ready this morning that she realized that the bruise had bloomed.

Once Izzie was inside her dad’s office she melted into his hug letting her body fall against his as he held her. “Hey Kiddo what’s wrong?”

“I’m making a mess of things. Chris. The guy that I’m dating, was supposed to work with Jay. They’ve known each other for years. They found out they were both involved with me. Jay is pissed and thinks I don’t want to get back together with him because of Chris, as if all the things he did to me didn’t matter. I like Chris a lot. Minji likes Chris. Jay is a good dad, but I can’t go back to that.”

Izzie’s dad listened as she rambled out everything in seemingly one breath. When she finally stopped he held her hands and looked into her eyes. “Iseul, you aren’t making a mess of things. You did what you thought was right, You are correct, Jay is a good dad, and you have every right to explore a new relationship with Chris. Don’t let this setback stress you out too much.” His lips pressed into a straight smile, making her feel more relaxed. Her dad always knew exactly what she needed to hear.

Her dad took the day off, and the two of them went to an early lunch, chatting for hours while they enjoyed soup, jeon, and grilled meats. By the time they left Izzie was absolutely stuffed. Next on their agenda was a bit of shopping. Mr. Jeon loved spoiling his girls and they didn’t leave the mall until both his hands and Izzie’s were overwhelmed with shopping bags. The day was exactly what Izzie needed. She didn’t have girlfriends and though she loved chatting with Hana, she was younger and just didn’t understand single mom life. Hana did her best and was always compassionate and supportive but there was just a level of understanding she just didn’t have. She definitely wasn’t ready to drag her into her baby daddy and dating drama. Hana would tease her relentlessly if she knew that she’d begun dating their new cafe regular. 

Jay had texted Izzie that he was picking up Minji from daycare, so Izzie headed home to enjoy the quiet and put away the purchases her father had made. Still not hungry after her indulgent lunch she sat on her couch with a bowl of fresh strawberries and grapes before deciding to call Chris. 

Chapter Text

Chris discreetly looked at his phone as “Trouble” popped up on his screen, and shoved it back in his pocket. Jay eyed his pocket, wondering if Izzie was the one calling Chan but this wasn’t the time to ask.

“Look Jay. I’d like to get this track done and then you can ask me anything you want.” Jay looked at the younger man, surprised. He hadn’t expected Chan to be so willing to talk about what was going on between him and Izzie, but clearly he wanted peace. Jay wasn’t sure that was what he wanted. What he really wanted was Chan out of his way so he could have his girl back. He’d made so many mistakes and treated her so poorly but he was a different man now. He knew what he wanted, and what he wanted was to have a happy family with Izzie. He wanted her to be by his side, to be holding her at night. He didn’t want to think about another man being anywhere near her. Jay smiled to himself, recalling some of the rumors he’d heard about Chan, and even some of his own run-ins with the man.  He was known as a noncommittal fuck boy. Only looking for a hookup. If he was the man Jay had heard he was, it was only going to be a short time before he’d mess up and leave Jay to pick up the pieces. That’s what he needed to remind himself of. Just wait and things will work out in his favor. They belonged together. Minji deserved to have her mom and dad living together, providing her a stable life.

Jay agreed to work peacefully with Chan and they managed to finish the track in record time. Jay hated to admit it, but this was the best track he’d heard, and he knew it would have to be the title. Chan was more than just good at what he did, he was incredibly talented. After Chan saved and transferred the file, a heavy silence settled between the two of them, before Chan spoke up.

“Go ahead. Ask me what you want.”

“Are you just hooking up with her?” Jay asked with a smug look. He was challenging Chan and wanted to see how he’d react. 

“I’m not hooking up with her.” Chan said plainly.

“Oh. Wow. I’m surprised. She alway so willing when she was with me.” Jay added emphasis on the word willing, purposefully. He was feeling very alpha and wanted to remind Chan that she had been his first.

Chan balled his hands into fists before shoving them inside his jeans. He couldn’t punch Jay, no matter how much he wanted to. His jaw clenched tight as he refrained from letting his thoughts pour out.

“That first night we met was… DAMN. Girl knew what she was doing.” Jay kept going, as he swiped his tongue across his lip at the memory.  “She’s a quiet one though.” He smirked, hoping to push Chan over the limit. He needed him to explode, get angry, and act irrational so that he could show Izzie exactly who he was.

Chan couldn’t take it anymore. Pressure was building up inside of him, and he knew he needed to leave before he said or did something he’d regret.  “Hyung,” he used the honorific to make a point. “I hope the track works out well for you. I’d appreciate it if you don’t contact me again.”

Chan turned to leave, but Jay kept talking causing Chan to freeze in his steps. “Just stay out of the way Chan. We can still be friends, but don’t mess with my girl. You could never make her feel the way I did.”

That was it. It was the final straw. Chan snapped around, his body tense as he fought back the urge to swing. Those boxing lessons really had him poised and ready to go, but his self restraint was stronger, at least for his physical urges. Unfortunately, there was nothing to tame his tongue. “You are right. I won’t. I’ll make sure she feels loved.”

Jay froze, Chan had bested him, beat him at his own game. He watched Chan leave, and once the door closed, he slammed his fist on the desk. He knew Chan was probably right. Jay had spent too many years fucking up. She’d given him too many chances and he always took her for granted. He knew he didn’t really deserve another chance, but still he wanted one. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get it, but he wasn’t going to stop trying. Jay pulled out his phone and called his manager, “I’m moving to Korea. I’ll be back in a month and then staying here permanently.” He’d made the decision. 

Chan climbed into the vehicle Sejun was sitting in waiting for him and slammed the door closed. He hadn’t been this angry in a long time. Usually his feelings turned to sadness and self loathing but today he was filled with pure rage. He didn’t understand how Jay could speak about Izzie that way. Like she was a toy to him. Something to play with and use until he was bored. She was something that should be cared for, treated like the most precious of gifts.

Sejun peered at Chan as he sat in the backseat staring up at the roof of the car. He’d been working with Chan since he debuted and knew immediately when something was wrong. “Bang Chan ssi?”

“Yes?” 

“Is everything okay back there? Need me to make any stops?”

“No. Just make sure we don’t take any more contracts at all from Jay Park. He can find a new producer.”

Sejun nodded. He was sure he’d get more details later but he knew Chan just needed some time to process for now. Once at the apartments, Chan whispered a quiet ‘thank you’ then slunk off to his apartment where Jeongin was sitting on the couch. 

Chan threw himself down on the couch dramatically before he rested his head on Jeongin’s shoulder. Jeongin may be the youngest of the group but he was wise beyond his years, often bringing a level of wisdom that surprised everyone who came across him. Jeongin didn’t shy away from his hyung’s touch, but instead relaxed back into him. “What’s up hyung?”

“How do you do it?” Chan asked, leaving Jeongin confused.

“Do what?”

“Date? Yeah, we all know about your secret relationship,” Chan’s tone normally would have been cheeky but tonight he just didn’t have the energy to summon even a teasing attitude.

Jeongin pressed his lips together, as he thought carefully about how he wanted to answer. He’d worked so hard to keep his relationship a secret, not wanting to subject his girlfriend to the company policies just yet, but hearing he wasn’t being as secretive as he thought was jarring.

“What do you know about her?” Jeongin asked, suddenly feeling on edge, as if his whole life was in danger.

“Nothing. Han thinks she’s older. Leeknow teased that she’s a he.” Chan laughed as he sat up, giving the maknae space. 

Jeongin shook his head. Of course Leeknow wants everyone to be gay. “She’s older. But only by 2 years. She’s divorced, so she’s really wanting to stay out of the spotlight. But I think I love her.” Jeongin confessed. He reached for his phone that was on the table and opened a locked folder, and for the first time he let one of his members see this side of him. He flipped through photos, showing Chan glimpses into the secret he had been holding close to his heart.

“She’s beautiful, you two look so happy.” Chan awed at the photos of the couple. They really did look absolutely perfect together.

“Are you upset I didn’t tell you? Are the other members?” Jeongin was worried. He knew he was breaking the rules, and he knew his potential consequences. He’d always wondered how dispensable he was to the group and he feared that he was about to find out just how easy it would be for them to get rid of them. Han and Leeknow were never in danger. Han wrote songs and produced so much for the group. Leeknow was their main dancer, he was too valuable. But Jeongin sat worried, as if his place was one that would be eliminated without a second thought. He knew Chan would say ‘8 is fate’, but if it came down to the group's image would he sacrifice Jeongin for the sake of their future? 

“Not at all.” Chan smiled as he rubbed the tension from Jeongin’s shoulder. “I get it. So do the others. We all want you to be happy and we have no plans to interfere with that. I won’t say anything to anyone else and you can tell them in your own time, just know that we will accept her as you have.”

Jeongin’s eyes filled with tears. He loved and trusted his hyungs with so many other parts of his life, and he was so thankful to hear they would accept this part of him too. “Remember Jeongin, 8 is fate. You are a part of us and without you we wouldn’t be the same. Who else would keep us all in line?”

Jeongin laughed as he wiped away the tears on his cheeks. He would never understand how Chan always saw through his worries and managed to be there to comfort him when he needed it, but he was thankful that the stars had brought them together.

“I’m dating someone. She has a kid.” Chan whispered so low that Jeongin thought he’d misunderstood.

“What?” 

“I don’t know if I can actually call her my girlfriend yet, but I want to. We’ve been ‘dating’ for about 2 weeks now. Pretty sure she’s perfect,” Chan laughed even as he used air quotes around the word dating.

It only took a second for the realization to hit him as he listened to his hyung. “Is it the woman from the cafe? The one you keep yapping about her pineapple juice?” 

Chan should have realized that Jeongin, and soon enough the other members, would quickly put together exactly who it was that he was dating. He nodded, unable to hide his smile as he thought about her. He missed her, already, again. He still felt like he shouldn’t be missing her, but he did, and he had a feeling he’d always miss her as long as she wasn’t with him. But right now he didn’t feel worthy of her. He had let his anger win, he snapped at his senior, and he knew that there would be repercussions. He just wasn’t sure what they would be. He did know that Jay couldn’t out their relationship for fear of his own secret being revealed, but he wondered if that was really going to be enough to stop him.

“So she has a kid. What’s the real issue? All the guys have talked about how you are with the kid, and her obsession with you.”

“The dad is an idol. He’s not happy I’m dating her. He has paid bribes to keep his kid a secret and out of the media. He wants her back, but he doesn’t deserve her. But maybe I don’t either.”

“Hyung.” Jeongin could feel Chan’s uncertainty in his soul. It was the same he’d felt when he began his relationship.

“I don’t want to make her life more complicated. But I can’t even be there for her all the time.”

“Hyung.” Jeongin called Chan’s attention again. “If she likes you, and it’s meant to be, it will work. Most of all, you deserve to be happy too. Outside of all this you can have a life too.” 

Chan nodded, but he wasn’t sure he believed it could be that easy. Maybe it was better if he got out before he got too deep. He was going to need time to process and decide what was best for him. Chan gave Jeongin a tight hug before he headed off to bed, hoping sleep would find him quickly.

The next morning Izzie got a call from the company that the episode of Stay Kids Code from her cafe would be airing that evening. She immediately set an alarm, excited to see how the show came out. She had a feeling it was going to be hilarious based on the view she’d had while filming was taking place. She checked her phone and saw no missed calls from Chris, and her heart sank for a second before she reminded herself that he was probably just busy. 

She spent her day at the cafe working, surprised it was a little slower than usual, but that just meant she had more time for paperwork. She fought her urges to check her phone for a message or call from Chris, and instead texted Jay to check on Minji. He responded immediately reassuring her that their kid was fine, and even including a selfie of the two of them together. Izzie saved the photo to her phone then immediately cropped out Jay’s face, before making it her new background on her phone. She stayed to close up the cafe, giving Hana the chance to leave early for once, and when she finally made it home she curled up in her bed, ready to watch her first episode of Stray Kids Code.

The first episode was 30 full minutes of absolute chaos. The guys competed in challenges to make drinks, some doing far better than others. Felix and Jeongin argued about ingredients while Changbin spent all his energy on flirting with Hyunjin, but when Hyunjin flirted back Changbin yelled and Felix got jealous. Am I watching a k-pop band or a gay romance? The second group wasn’t much better. Chris extra focused on following the recipe correctly while Leeknow hit him in the ass, causing Han to yell at the man, who then crouched down like a kitten in trouble. GAY. Izzie had so many questions about the group after she finished the show, and wondered what the second episode would be like. The teaser clip of them screaming in the play area sounded as accurate as she remembered. 

Chris and the kids got notifications that their episode had come out, and he instantly thought of Izzie and wondered if she had watched it, or if she would. He grabbed his phone and it was then he realized it had been days since he’d talked to her. He hadn’t reached out since she called him and a sense of guilt washed over him. He’d been so caught up in his own feelings he was already neglecting her. Was it just one more sign that he couldn’t handle dating someone? Or was it just a reminder he needed to be more intentional? He wasn’t sure which it was, or if he even had the capacity to figure it out, but for now he decided he needed to at least start with a text.

CHRIS: Did you watch the episode? Do you think Minji would like to see it?

He imagined how the toddler would react to the guys being chaotic on screen, or just seeing them on screen in general. He could visualize her squeals of joy as she watched the guys play around, and her making plans to chastise the kids for being too handsy with each other. He missed her. He missed Izzie too. There that feeling was again. The feeling he had no business having. He was the one who hadn’t called back. Hadn’t texted. And now he was the one missing them. “Pabo,” he muttered to himself. He had been foolish. Foolish in the way he handled Jay, foolish with his lack of communication, just foolish all around.

The next morning Izzie woke up to her empty bed, and thanked the stars that she only had one more night alone before her kiddo would be back where she belonged. She blindly searched for her phone so she could check the time but got distracted by a text from Chris. She opened the message then shook her head. She hadn’t heard from him in days, and now that the show was out, he was messaging her. She didn’t understand where his head was at or what he wanted in a relationship. Maybe he just wanted something more casual. He was a busy man after all and probably didn’t want or need someone who needed his constant attention. Izzie wasn’t sure she could be the causal kind of girl. She wanted someone emotionally steady in her life, unlike Jay. She didn’t need him around all day, or even every day, but she did need someone who would make the time to communicate with her. Someone who could make her feel like a priority even when they are busy. Just a ‘hey, missed you,’ would be better than the radio silence she’d received.

Izzie sat her phone back down, deciding to think carefully about what she wanted to say before getting ready to go to the cafe. The weather was getting warmer, so she pulled her hair up into a styled but messy bun, then dressed in a pair of shorts and a cute floral shirt. She took advantage of getting up before her alarm and no kid to wrangle to add some makeup. By the time she finished getting ready, she began to wonder if she had overdone it for a day meant to be spent in the cafe. Hana would for sure question her, but she honestly had no real reason for getting a little more dressed up than usual.

Izzie was not prepared for what she walked into when she got to the cafe. They hadn’t officially opened for the day, but there was a long line already along the street. Even on adult night they didn’t have a line like this. She glanced over the crowd and realized most of the line was made up of young women. Is there something I don’t know?

She headed inside the cafe where her early morning staff was setting up the baked goods in the display case and finishing up the first few brews of coffee. Once the staff finished their tasks she headed to the doors to welcome in the guests, only then realizing the line had continued to grow and was now clearly wrapped around the building. Despite the excited screams of the women as the doors opened, they filed into the cafe in a calm, orderly manner. Izzie headed behind the counter and texted Hana that she was going to need her help, and to call in more staff if the day was going to continue to be that busy. She began to take orders, and one by one, she realized each of the women had one thing in common. They all had small animal plushies. Izzie knew she had seen them before she couldn’t place them, but then she heard the next patron at the counter and it all clicked. “Oh my god, are those the brownies Felix talked about?? He said on bubble they were better than his.”

“They have to be! Can we have 6 please?”

It was 7am and these women were ordering 6 brownies, and all because of Stray Kids. This seemed like some bizarre alternate reality. Before Hana managed to make it in, every table in the cafe was taken, every chair had someone sitting, and there were even more people standing around. They had never hit max capacity, but now they were probably over it. Once one of the part timers came in, Izzie had them watch the door, only letting new people come in once others filtered out. The day never slowed, they struggled to stay in stock of brownies, and unfortunately they had long run out of cheesecake, despite having a back stock since it took 24 hours to be ready for sale. By 4 o’clock, they had made the decision to close early, needing the time to recover and prepare for another day of what probably would be the same. After the last customers cleared out, Izzie and Hana sat down and began to make a game plan to be prepared. They had no idea how long these crowds would last but there was another episode coming out in a week that they assumed would pull in the same level of chaos.  Hana suggested Izzie pull some strings with her ‘new friend’ and have the guys leave some autographs for them to display, but Izzie brushed off the idea. She didn’t feel like she was at a point where she could ask Chris for a favor. Things were still so new between them and she didn’t want him to think she was interested in him because of clout and fame. 

Izzie crashed as soon as she got home, not bothering to eat. She wasn’t sure how she was going to handle another day like the one she’d just had plus caring for Minji that next evening. Maybe it was time she took her dad’s suggestion and really looked at hiring 2 assistant managers, and let Hana really take on more responsibility. There was no one Izzie trusted more and Hana really seemed to love being there. Plus, it would mean that Izzie could finally travel. She’d worked so hard to be successful, her goals being that she could take care of Izzie if Jay decided to stop helping her financially, to be able to retire, and to spend her free time traveling with her daughter. Maybe now, thanks to their new found fame, they would be able to do that. 

Izzie felt like she was barely surviving by the time the second day of a very full cafe ended. She got home in just enough time to do a load of laundry before Jay arrived to drop off Minji. “Eomma,” Minji yelled as she ran and hugged her mother. Once Minji was satisfied with her hug she took off to her room to play, leaving Izzie and Jay to talk.

“Hey, do you think Jiah would be willing to help me out for a couple of days? The cafe has become crazy busy and we are working on hiring some new staff but that’s gonna take some time.”

“Yeah, it should be fine, I’ll text you her number.” Izzie was surprised Jay was being so agreeable. Izzie’s phone buzzed on the counter and she knew it was from Jay so she left it alone.

“How’s your boyfriend?” Jay pried just as Izzie settled on her couch.

She rolled her eyes, annoyed. He clearly wasn’t going to be as agreeable as she’d hoped. “I don’t know that I’d call him my boyfriend, but maybe you should ask him how he is. I haven’t talked to him in a few days…” Jay cut her off before she could finish.

“I guess what I said scared him off,” he had a smug look on his face, that lit something fierce and protective inside of Izzie.

“What did you say Jay?” Izzie demanded but he didn’t answer. “WHAT DID YOU SAY?” she whisper yelled, trying not to get Minji’s attention.

“I just said that it would be better if you and I were together. Minji deserves to have her parents under one roof.”

“Oh fuck off.” Izzie was losing control of her emotions. She knew Jay was a little dumb at times but this was beyond his normal level of idiocy. 

Jay laughed as if her anger and frustration were comical. Izzie was sure he was losing his mind. 

“Hey, Iz. Why did you pick this apartment? Did you know a bunch of idols lived here? I’ve got JK’s number, want to call him up next? I’m sure he can bring an even bigger crowd to your little cafe.”

“Jay, go.” Izzie seethed, as she held her eyes closed, unable to look at the man. She felt as if her blood was literally beginning to boil beneath her skin. She was a kettle ready to go off.

“I don’t know that he will be as willing as Chan to hook up with you, but maybe he will if you give him a few drinks. Man loves his beer.”

Izzie didn’t know what had gotten into him. He hadn’t been so unkind to her in years. He would find subtle ways to beat her down, just so he could pretend to build her back up and keep her close. He’d been nearly every version of toxic to her, and for too long she kept going back. But not this time.

“If you don’t leave now, we will both regret what comes next.” Izzie warned him. Jay got quiet for a moment, thinking about if he should test the water, but he could see something dangerous in her green eyes.

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you in two weeks when I get back.”

Once Jay left, Izzie quickly got Minji to bed then broke down in her own. She hated the way he got into her head. He knew how to play on her insecurities and made her feel like she couldn’t do anything without a man by her side. She knew deep down she didn’t need him, Chris, or even her father to do well in life, but she loved having her dad’s support. She wished that Jay could respect her as a business owner, but she also knew that just wasn’t going to ever happen. It was just one more reminder of why they could never be together. One more reminder of why she was so hesitant to be involved with any man. Maybe, I’m better off being alone. 

Chapter Text

Izzie woke up still feeling emotionally drained. There weren’t many days she felt like just needed a break from everything, but this was definitely one of them. She sighed and pulled Minji to her body, thankful the tiny girl just snuggled against her chest instead of waking immediately. We can be late today. It was a fleeting thought, as she closed her eyes, only to be reminded of the last time she disrupted her child’s schedule. Nope, gotta get up. Another deep sigh escaped her as she made no move to get up. 

Her alarm eventually began its annoying ritual, causing Minji to throw her hands over her ears, and their cat who was curled up at the end of the bed to glare in Izzie’s direction. Izzie silenced her alarm and threw herself into her routine. She moved about the apartment, doing her usual steps but her body felt heavy as she worked through the motions. Her shoulders hung a little lower than normal, her back ached as she completed each task, only making her thankful that Minji wanted to walk to daycare rather than be worn as usual.

Once inside the cafe, she snuck past the long line and hid in the office, thankful her staff was happy to pick up extra shifts but she knew she was going to need to hire more staff asap. She opened her computer and stared at the applications, but found herself unable to move forward. Everything felt like too much. Work, Jay, Chris… Shit. I never texted him back. Izzie began digging through her bag in search of her phone, finally unburying it from the bottom. Dead. Clearly in her mess of emotions she forgot to charge it the night before. Another deep sigh came, this time filled with annoyance at her own carelessness. She rummaged through her desk, finding her emergency charger lacking a cube, and let out a loud “FUCK”.

Hana popped into the office, “are you okay?”

“Yeah. No. Maybe. I don’t know. I got into a fight with Minji’s dad last night. I forgot to charge my phone. Everything just feels so….” Izzie stopped, forcing the tears at the back of her eyes to still. She needed to get control of the situation. One step at a time. Hana watched as Izzie’s whole demeanor changed from on the verge of a breakdown to completely stoic. “I’ll be okay. Just give me a few.” Hana hesitated but when Izzie turned and focused on her computer she decided to just leave the woman be.

Izzie plugged her phone into her computer and waited for it to power on, thankful to see she had no new missed calls or texts. She opened her chat with Chris and stared at his last message. There was so much unsaid between the two of them and she needed to put an end to all the indecisiveness in her mind. She knew she needed to either commit or quit. 

TROUBLE: I did watch it. You guys are great. 

TROUBLE: Also ever since it aired the cafe has been INSANE

TROUBLE: I hate doing this. I don’t want you to worry. But can we talk? There’s some things I need to say and in person might be better.

She’d held her finger over the send button for far too long before committing to send the last text, but she knew she had to do something. She couldn’t continue to feel the way she was and not do anything. Her mood was affecting every part of her and it was time to make a decision about what she really wanted.  Once the message showed that it was delivered, a tiny bit of the weight that sat on her shoulders lifted and she was able to focus on work as she waited for a reply. 

She spent the rest of her day making phone calls and setting up interviews. They were looking to hire an entire shift worth of employees. She knew it was risky, but in order to keep up with the pace they had they’d need more staff. If things slowed she’d figure it out, but for now she felt like she was making the right decision. After all, with no risk is no reward she reminded herself as she scheduled the 4th interview for the week.

Chris powered on his phone as soon as the flight landed. He didn’t care that there was in-air wifi; he loved to take the time on the flight to genuinely check out and just rest. He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of his lips as he saw Izzie’s nickname pop up with a notification.

CHRIS: I’d love to talk in person. But I’m in Australia for the next 2 weeks. I tried to stop by the cafe but it was insanely packed with Stays. 

TROUBLE: Australia? 

CHRIS: Yeah. We’ve got 4 shows and some work to do. I’ll call you later if that’s okay?
TROUBLE: That would be nice.

Chris initially wasn’t sure what to think when he saw the text that Izzie wanted to talk face to face. Panic began to settle in his chest but when she okayed calling her later, he felt a little more at ease. A little less like she was ready to call the whole dating thing off. He knew he should have told her he was going to Australia but she hadn’t answered him, and it felt too awkward to just send a text saying, ‘hey we haven’t talked but I’m leaving the country for 2 weeks’. He wanted to give her the space she seemed to need, or maybe he was just scared. Maybe his shame for snapping back at Jay had taken over, but it didn’t matter, this is where he was now.

As soon as they got into their hotel rooms, Chris showered then flopped down on his bed. It was only an hour later in Sydney than it was in Seoul, and he was itching to call Izzie. He checked his phone incessantly, waiting until it was late enough to call her. Waiting until he was sure that Minji was in bed. As soon as 10:00pm stuck on his phone he clicked her contact and waited.

Izzie had just gotten out of the shower as she heard her phone ringing. She quickly wrapped a towel around her body and answered the call without seeing who it was. She figured anyone calling at 9:00pm was someone she knew well. “Hello?” 

“Hey,” Chris’s voice came over the call, easily giving away how unsure he was. 

Izzie pulled the phone from her ear to check the contact, making sure she was hearing correctly.

“You there?” Chris asked as Izzie hit the speaker phone button and sat her phone on the bathroom counter. 

“Yeah, I just got out of the shower. Just doing my skin care.” Izzie explained as she applied toner to her face.

“I just showered too.” So what if it had been 2 hours since he actually got out, he was still laying in bed with a towel wrapped around his waist and hadn’t done anything since. Izzie had a fleeting thought of him freshly out of the shower, wet and dripping, before she began applying her next step in her skin care. “So, I know you wanted to talk in person, but I really didn’t want to wait 2 weeks. It’s already been almost a week since we’ve talked or I’ve seen you.”

“I’m sorry about that.” Guilt washed over Izzie. “Things just got stressful with Jay, and I was beginning to chicken out.”

“Oh?” Chris felt a pang in his chest. He tried not to overanalyze what she was saying and stay in the moment.

“I’m not. I’m not going to let him control me. I wanted to say this in person, but I guess now is as good of a time as any.” Izzie took a deep breath before continuing, hoping she sounded confident and sure. “Chris, I like you a lot. You say you have no business missing me, but I find myself missing you, often. I want to date you. I know your life and how hard it is, but I’m okay with that. I know you’ll be gone months at a time or just too tired to talk some days, but I’m okay with figuring those things out if you are. I want to figure them out. I want to give this a good honest try.” 

Chris was shocked, not expecting to hear what Izzie had to say. He’d had his own speech brewing, his own confession of how he wasn’t afraid of Jay and wanted to keep trying. That didn’t mean he didn’t still have his own worries, especially about his fans and how they would react if they saw him out with Izzie. It was bound to happen at some point or another and he wasn’t sure if she was ready for that. 

“I mean, that is if you want to. Maybe it’s too much drama for you. I can’t promise Jay will leave you alone.” Izzie added when Chris didn’t respond immediately.

“I can’t promise that I can keep you safe from fans. If they find out, it could get messy.” Chris confessed his own thoughts.

“I can handle messy. Just promise me you will do everything to keep Minji safe.” Izzie didn’t care about her reputation, she only cared that Minji wouldn’t get wrapped up in the gossip sites. She worried his fans would start hanging outside her daycare, making it unsafe for her. Her first, most important priority would always be Minji and she needed to know that Chris would do his best to keep her safe too.

“I will. I’d do anything for her.” He said, and Izzie knew he meant it. She never doubted how much he cared for her daughter.

“So, second date then?” Izzie asked.

“For my girlfriend… anything.” Chan’s cheeks were blushed as he tried out the word, not sure how she would take it. He had been so desperate to call her his girlfriend, he needed that, and now after her confession it felt so right.

“Girlfriend?” Izzie repeated the word back to him. “You’ll have to actually meet my father if you want to call me that.”

“I’ll do it.” Chris rushed out. He’d do anything she asked him to if it meant she’d be his. 

A quiet moment was shared between the two of them as Izzie applied her moisturizer then headed to settle into her bed, not bothering to get dressed yet. There was something so nice about just lounging in a towel after a shower and she wanted to take advantage of the moment. They spent the evening talking until way too late, both of them finding every giggle, flirty comment, or serious spill of lore fitting perfectly into their new relationship. Chris listened intently as Izzie talked, even opening the notes app on his phone and writing down things she mentioned she’d always wanted to do but didn’t have time for. He made himself a list of goals to make her dreams happen no matter how big or small they were.

Despite staying up far too late talking to her newly official boyfriend, Izzie was up early and ready to face the day. Minji fed off Izzie’s positive energy and was bouncing around as they prepared to go to her play therapy. Minji packed her therapy bag meticulously, filling it with her new pokemon plush and of course her notebook and favorite marker. They sat quietly on the bus as they traveled through Seoul, and once they got to their stop Minji happily pulled the cord to alert the driver. She waved and smiled to every passenger they walked by as they exited, causing Izzie to be caught off guard by the child’s sudden friendly behavior.

Izzie sat quietly in the waiting room while Minji attended her appointment. Her headphones were in as she attempted to read but somehow she found herself on Tiktok, scrolling through videos of Stray Kids. She wasn’t sure how she’d found herself in the particular genre of ‘Christopher’ videos, but she was happy she did. Watching fan edit after fan edit was an emotional roller coaster. One video would be cute, silly, dorky moments and the next video would show him being seductive and sexy on stage. Then of course there were his playfully flirty moments that had her grinning from cheek to cheek as she watched his ears blush on screen and he covered his face with his hands. She couldn't help but think about how cute he was when he was flustered and she began to wonder if she could make him feel that way. She saved a few videos with plans to tease him later.

“Miss Jeon, may I speak with you?” 

Izzie jumped at the sound of her name being called before tucking her phone inside her purse and then following the therapist back to her office.

“I think Minji would greatly benefit from music therapy. We are partnering with a new program, and I preemptively suggested her name and she was offered a spot.”

“Oh, that sounds interesting.”

“The students will do therapy with music. There will be opportunities for singing, learning instruments, or even just being surrounded by sounds. Minji has spent the last couple of months intrigued by my keyboard and has even learned to play a short song with me.”

Izzie recalled the stories Minji had told her about her therapist’s keyboard. She’d considered music lessons for her daughter, but she wasn’t sure she’d be willing to learn from a stranger. But maybe a place meant for children with autism would be a good fit for her. Izzie agreed to try the new program and then they headed to the cafe for the day.

The new staff they’d hired were settling in nicely as they had a growing stream of customers each day. Minji took her place behind the counter, donning her apron and holding her notebook, ready to help take orders. As usual, the customers gushed over Minji and gladly gave her their orders while the cashier put them into the system. The new employees were just as enthralled with Minji and let her help as much as she could. Izzie was proud to see how Minji was adjusting to the changes and busier nature of the cafe. It was a huge step forward for the small child, and Izzie made sure to let Minji know how proud she was of her every chance she got.

Izzie felt like her life was sorting itself out. She knew she was going to have to deal with whatever shit storm Jay brought back to her when he returned, but she was going to eat up every moment of peace she had while she could. Chris had been messaging her and calling her just about every chance he could, sending her pictures and videos from their shows as well as other silly photos from his free time. She matched each of his photos and videos with what she deemed as boring photos of her life and even sent a couple of pics of Minji. No matter how simple her photos were, or how boring of a clip she sent, he responded with enthusiasm.

Minji had begun to request to listen to some of Stray Kids songs after Chris had finally sent what he felt like was a perfectly curated playlist. She bounced around the apartment to the new, fast paced beats that were vastly different from the R&B tunes her mom normally played. Admittedly, Izzie wouldn’t have explored the band’s music on her own, but there was a song in particular that played in her head over and over. She’d made the mistake of watching the music video and def had questions for Chris. 8 more days. She’d had a mental countdown going. 5 days until Jay was set to return, 6 days until Minji went to stay with him. 7 days until Stray Kids returned to Korea. 8 days until her second, but first official, date with Chris.

Chris had blocked off time on his calendar, marked as time in the studio. It was an easy excuse no one would question, unless of course members of 3racha came to look for him, but he figured he’d deal with that if he needed to later. His one and only purpose was spending his evening with his girl and making the night perfect. He’d booked them a table at a sushi restaurant that could guarantee them privacy after finding out that sushi was her favorite meal, but she didn’t eat it often since Minji hated it. He’d also made sure they would have her favorite wine. The part he was struggling on was dessert. Ideally, he’d wanted to spend time after dinner walking the city but it was tourist season. He knew he couldn’t get away with strolling so easily, especially with a woman on his arm, and he had no plans to keep his hands to himself as long as Izzie didn’t mind. The anticipation was driving him crazy and he was ready to see his woman and hold her and kiss her. Oh, how he wanted to kiss her. 

Minji went to her first music therapy lesson hesitant to meet new people. She asked Izzie what felt like 100 questions, most of which Izzie couldn’t answer. Minji clung to her mother, afraid to turn and even look around the building as they entered, but when the program organizer came to greet her she smiled and gave a tiny wave with her fingers. At no point was Minji forced or even asked to do anything outside her comfort zone, allowing them plenty of time to get comfortable in the new space. Minji watched what was happening around her for a long while as she sat in her mom’s lap, with her face pressed into Izzie’s arm. 

Slow, melodic strumming of a guitar began playing and it was then that Minji eased her grip on mom and turned in her lap, her eyes focused on the doorway where the music flowed from. “Do you want to go see?” The therapist asked quietly. Minji carefully climbed from her mother’s lap without saying a word but reached for the therapist’s hand. The woman led Minji to the room where a man with long, shaggy, black hair sat strumming away. He looked up to smile at Minji but didn’t say a word, just kept strumming slowly. The song filled the room, a simple, soft beat that vibrated throughout Minji’s tiny body. Izzie watched her daughter carefully as she approached the man. Minji began to reach out, but before Izzie could stop her the therapist placed a hand on Izzie’s shoulder, signaling to her that it was okay.

The man stopped strumming and silently offered Minji his guitar pick. She took it and held it carefully in her small hand. Her eyes met the man’s and he smiled then nodded, encouraging her to try out his instrument. Minji violently raked the pick across the strings, making the guitar belt out a sound that could be heard in the other therapy rooms. Minji jumped back in surprise, hesitant to try again. The man reached out and offered his hand. Minji turned back and looked at her mom for approval, which she gave with a simple nod. So now she wants my permission to interact with strangers, Izzie thought to herself as her memory flashed to the moment she’d found Izzie talking to Chris and Felix in the grocery store.

Minji placed her hand in the man’s and he carefully guided her to the guitar and showed her how to gently strum the strings. Minji’s face immediately lit up. Her eyes were wide and her smile was so big Izzie was sure the girl’s cheeks would hurt later. “Can I do it myself?,” Minji asked, her voice tiny, just above a whisper.

“Yeah, sit here,” he said as he patted the spot next to him. Minji climbed up into the chair and the man carefully placed the guitar in her lap, letting the long strap fall behind her back. It was comical how small Minji looked behind the large instrument, but she was glowing as she held it the best she could. “You can call me Yoongi,” the man said as he supported the neck of the guitar.

Minji slowly repeated the man’s name as she carefully strummed over the guitar. It was much too big for her to handle on her own but she seemed pleased to be sitting beside Yoongi, strumming and learning to hit a rhythm. He tapped his foot as he guided her hand.  “Can you play Cheese?” 

“Cheese?”  Yoongi asked, he was sure he hadn’t heard that song before.

“It’s a song by Stray Kids.”  Izzie quickly jumped in to explain. It was Minji’s current fixation song and the one she demanded to be played over and over. Screaming ‘hana, dul, set, cheese’ had become her own personal battle cry.

“Ah okay. Let’s try.” Yoongi said as he grabbed his phone and quickly searched up the guitar tabs for the song. He placed his phone on the music stand and took the guitar from Minji’s lap so he could begin to pluck away. Minji turned to face Yoongi, carefully studying his hands as he worked to learn the song. She sat more patiently than Izzie had ever seen her sit for another person in her entire 3 years of life. Izzie was just as amazed as Minji was. What is with this kid and musicians?

It didn’t take long for Yoongi to figure out the chorus, and soon he was playing Minji’s favorite part, inspiring her to yell out, ‘hana, dul, set, cheese’ with more enthusiasm than Yoongi had ever seen from someone so tiny.  It took some time, but eventually Izzie was able to convince Minji to leave the therapy room and begin their journey home. But only with the promise that she could come back the next week and see Mr. Yoongi again. Minji talked the whole way home, chatting about the guitar and eventually coming to the conclusion that she was going to ask her appa to buy her one. 

By the time Jay had made it back to Korea, Izzie didn’t even mind the idea of seeing him. Their texts while he was gone had been peaceful, and when he facetimed with Minji, he didn’t push to have a conversation with her. It seemed like he was finally getting the message. The day he arrived to pick up Minji, he was unusually smiley and Izzie couldn’t help to think he had something up his sleeve. But as soon as Minji grabbed her bag, they were out the door and she had no time to pick at what was going on in his head. It wasn’t until she got a text from him a few hours later that she’d even remembered that he had a particular look.

MJ DAD: I’m moving next week. Can we meet up on Sunday to talk about a new schedule?

IZZIE: Of course. 

That was it. He was moving. Izzie wondered where but didn’t put too much thought into it, as she was almost immediately distracted by a photo that Chris sent. It was from their previous night’s show and he was sitting in a chair with his legs spread wide as he smirked into the mirror. Izzie gasped at the sight. The anticipation of her date night was getting to her. Chris had been so allusive about the plans he’d made only telling her to dress up. 

She’d dragged Hana along to shop, all the while dodging most of her questions as to why she needed a new ‘little black dress’. Hana eventually gave up, realizing Izzie was going to stay tight-lipped about the details. Hana had her suspicions, but no matter how she asked Izzie gave her nothing even close to a hint. She wasn’t sure Izzie was the type to set up with an online date but it also seemed too far-fetched for her to actually be dating the leader of Stray Kids.

“Come on Izzie. Just tell me who this date is with?”

“I’m not telling!” 

“So it is a date?” Hana grinned, at least part of her suspicions had been confirmed. 

“Yeah, it’s a date… I have a boyfriend.” Izzie finally confessed, maybe it would be good for her to share with someone. 

Hana’s jaw fell open, as she froze where she was standing in the middle of the mall. Finally Hana’s brain caught up and allowed her legs to speed up to catch up with Izzie. “Okay you have to tell me everything.”

“I can’t tell you everything, but I like him a lot. He’s a good person. And he’s taking me on a date, that’s a complete surprise and all he told me was to dress nice. SO, let’s get back to dress shopping.” Izzie knew that Hana was internally crashing out, and honestly part of her loved it. She knew she needed to open up more, make meaningful friendships, but it had been so hard for her. She knew Hana adored her, and she felt the same, but she’d always kept her at a distance. She didn’t want to be a burden to the woman who had made her life so much easier. Izzie felt like she already asked too much of Hana, though Hana was always ready to not only reassure her but also ask for new ways to help and take things off Izzie’s plate.

“Is he tall?” Hana prodded. 

“Not exceptionally but taller than me,” Izzie reflected back on how Minji had called him tall in the grocery store. “He has dimples, and the best smile.” Izzie offered up the info to Hana. 

“Well I hope I get to meet him soon. Has Minji met him?”

“No,” it wasn’t a total lie. Minji had not met Chris as her boyfriend. In fact, Izzie had no idea how she would introduce that idea to Minji. Of course she knew that Minji loved hanging around Chris, but would she feel differently if she knew that Chris was there for her rather than the toddler? 

Izzie and Hana spent hours wandering the mall until Izzie found the perfect dress. The black dress was a cute little backless number that hugged her curves in all the right places, with a hemline that kept the look classy but would hopefully leave Chris drooling. She also purchased a new pair of sleek black heels and a bit of new makeup to finish off her perfect look. Izzie treated Hana to dinner then she headed back home to stow her purchases and wait until it was time to see her man.