Archive of Our Own ^beta

Something red, moving so fast that she couldn't get a good look at it and discern what exactly it was, yet it seemed so familiar to her…

Rachel opened her eyes, immediately hit with another splitting headache. Her mouth was dry, begging for water. Still, she stayed in bed for a little while longer to gather herself, waiting for her heart to stop racing so much. She raised her hands and put them on her face in a hopeless gesture. Like every other night, the dream came back, and like every night, she woke up in pain, not knowing why she kept seeing that weird, speeding red blur, nor whether it was supposed to mean anything. Maybe she should take Caitlin up on her offer and get herself tested just in case, though the very thought of it terrified her.

She glanced to the side where Harrison was still sleeping, and then she slipped out of bed and left the bedroom as quietly as she could. Most of the nights now she spent with him at his house, and she guessed they were slowly reaching a point at which she would officially move in. She considered it lucky that he never woke up when she had those dreams—she couldn't really call them nightmares, since she wasn't scared, only frustrated.

What was scary, however, was the migraines that followed.

As Rachel left the room, it escaped her attention that Wells wasn't sleeping; that he was just pretending, lying still and listening for any noise she made, any clue to what was happening within her mind.

She closed the door as gently as she could, then went down the stairs and straight to the kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with water. She was so thirsty that she immediately poured herself another one.

Sometimes Rachel had trouble believing she'd ended up right here—in this fancy house and dating such an influential, rich man, who was Dr. Harrison Wells. Only, of course, this wasn't her reason for being with him. She simply loved him. When they'd met, she hadn't expected it would lead to this, but she was happy nevertheless. She'd found him attractive from the very first moment his eyes had lain upon her, as Caitlin, out of all people, had introduced them. Rachel wished they hadn't drifted apart and had still been friends. It was really a pity. She could only hope that now, once fate had brought them all together, they could try it again, since she seriously lacked in the friendship department. Spending all her time with her nose in a book or writing could easily do that to a girl, though she absolutely adored her inner world and the imagination she had, never wishing it to be gone. It was a part of her no one would ever be able to take away, even if it came with a price. But everything in life did, didn't it?

Recently, her only problems were the migraines, and she so hoped she didn't have a tumor. Her worst fear was losing her mind or having something wrong with it, since it was the very source of her work and what she loved about herself the most. She just couldn't imagine not having it. What did a person truly have without a healthy head…?

To push those disturbing thoughts away, Rachel checked her phone, idly scrolling through social media until… She couldn't believe it, but the news kept on reporting about some mysterious metahuman called the Streak, who was saving people all over Central City. Streak— red streak— itsounded exactly like what she'd been dreaming about and what had been giving her such headaches...

She bit her lip, thinking hard about whether she should really visit S.T.A.R. Labs. If a place, where she could get both the answers to who this metahuman was and what was happening with her health, existed, it was there.

When Rachel had met Dr. Harrison Wells, never in her wildest dreams had she thought this man would seek her out afterward and ask her to have dinner with him. A few weeks later, love-struck and settling into a relationship that had happened very fast, she'd still had trouble believing it. Harrison Wells was not only attractive—a typical tall, dark, and handsome—but also incredibly intelligent, and it'd shocked her that despite the fact that they were so different—she was a beginning writer of fiction, he was a scientist with a clear vision of what he'd wanted to accomplish—he'd fallen for her. She wasn't stupid, as she'd finished college and was quite eloquent, but that wasn't enough to understand his complicated physical equations and the blueprints of the particle accelerator itself. However, he hadn't cared, being in love with her and who she was. He was also supporting her in her career, never treating it as something that had any less meaning than his own. Yes, added to that, he was significantly older, but it'd never really become an issue either. She wasn't scared of an age difference as long as there was love and connection. And they worked well together. She felt as though her life had taken a turn for an incredibly happy ending, almost like a fairy tale, up until… the particle accelerator exploded, of course.

Rachel was thinking about that fateful day again, and the horror that followed, as she was preparing her morning coffee and waiting for Harrison to get ready to go to the Labs.

He'd insisted she should be by his side at all times, even despite her lack of a technical degree and clear knowledge of the whole enterprise. She'd done it gladly, too, honored to show up for him while he'd been achieving his biggest career dream, only to… hear a distant explosion and watch it all crumble to ruins.

Caitlin's fiancé had died that night—all of her and Ronnie's wedding plans destroyed. Rachel had also briefly lost Harrison in the crowd and then received a phone call that he'd been crushed by some falling rubble. Her entire world had stopped, her breath suddenly becoming so loud to her ears, not to mention the thumping of her own heart. She'd actually been dangerously close to fainting, but she needed to hold on because she had to get to the hospital to see him, to make sure he would pull through.

No one had been there for her, and she'd so, so deeply wished she'd had a friend to talk to, to comfort her. Her lonely career hadn't been doing her any favors at the time, and her only family was fighting for his life.

At first, she had been told that Harrison's spinal cord had been crushed, and he was paralyzed. She couldn't see him just yet, as additional tests had still been being conducted.

Rachel had spent most of that night in a cold waiting room, shaken up and with tears streaming down her face. And all of that while she'd been forced to listen to the horrible news about the tragedy and realize that the ship the S.T.A.R. Labs had once been, had slowly been sinking with its captain and his reputation. It'd even occurred to her that if she'd mentioned to any of the people around—who looked at her with sympathy now—for whom she'd been waiting, they would've probably cursed her instead of feeling sorry for her. The great doctor Harrison Wells had become a pariah, having truly fallen from grace and being blamed for the explosion that had already taken so many lives... But she couldn't care at the moment. She could only pray not to lose him.

Once hours later, the doctor had finally updated her again, she felt better, and relief washed over her. She had stood up to meet him, her body resembling ice due to the cold she'd stopped noticing a long time ago. She'd heard that Harrison would live, that his spine had been badly injured, yes, but he wasn't completely paralyzed. His ability to walk wouldn't return, but he could still feel below the waist. It had been very awkward to receive that reassurance, but the man had been aware that she was Harrison's girlfriend, so he'd wanted to give her as much good news as possible.

Afterward, she'd gone straight to his room and lain down by his side, sobbing into his neck while clinging to his body. His eyes were open, directed at the window, from which he could see the smoke over the Labs, and from which he could see his dreams evaporating into thin air.

He'd never talked to her about the accident and the implications of it, never asked her whether she would stay or leave. The wheelchair had appeared in their life, and that had been it.

And Rachel was still there, for better and for worse, because she simply loved him, because he was all she had, and she didn't want to lose him and wind up all alone. Because they needed each other.

Harrison had never let her help him in any way. He'd handled all of his pains and struggles completely alone and in silence, taking lots and lots of time to himself, and she'd let him. She'd only made sure he knew she would always be there for him, and if he needed anything, it was enough to say a word, but besides that, she hadn't pushed. During the time right after the accident, she'd actually found herself typing all of her emotions, all her love, all the loneliness, and fear into her laptop, creating her very first novel and getting it published almost immediately. She'd never asked him whether he'd helped with that, having an inkling that he indeed had, but she'd just let it go. Her work received positive reviews, and people loved it; therefore, she didn't feel like a fraud.

Now she had to come up with the idea for the next one. Or maybe make some friends, and finally get a life. Or both. Rachel needed inspiration, and she knew exactly where she could find it. She also knew what she had to do regarding her headaches.

Rachel intended to go straight to S.T.A.R. Labs to see Caitlin, she really did.

Only then, she watched Harrison leave the house in favor of work after kissing her goodbye, and she didn't say anything. She just stood there, biting her lip and letting fear win over her one more time, choosing blissful ignorance over possibly difficult knowledge.

She sat with her laptop instead, trying to pick up writing again, but ended up staring at a blank page and the flickering cursor. She could come up with absolutelynothing, and deep down inside, she knew exactly why. Eventually, she sighed, seeming to have no choice but to dress up, grab her purse, and go.

Rachel's destination was S.T.A.R. Labs, of course, but she couldn't resist a little detour involving the Jitters, tempted by the sudden urge to order her favorite cappuccino—no one made it as good as the famous coffee shop.

The moment she crossed the threshold, she noticed Barry Allen talking to a pretty barista.

He also immediately saw her, as though he was bound to glance at the door the second she walked in, and their eyes met, a smile forming on his face.

"Rachel!" He waved at her, somehow relieved by her presence, which made her think that the conversation he'd been having was not a pleasant one.

"Hi, Barry." She came over and now had the chance to take a closer look at the other woman.

"This is Iris, Joe's daughter. You know, Joe is my adoptive father," Barry introduced her.

"Oh, hi! It's so nice to meet you." Rachel reached out her hand to shake Iris's, smiling at her in a friendly manner. Suddenly, something rang a bell… "Wait a second… I think I was just reading your blog last night! You're reporting on the Streak, aren't you?" she asked.

"Yes, I am! Thank you for the recognition!" Iris lit up instantly, shooting Barry a meaningful look that Rachel couldn't really decipher. "I'm studying journalism," she then proudly informed.

"That's great! I actually studied English Literature, and not so long ago, I've published my first book. I'm currently doing research to find inspiration for my second, and I'd love to read more of your blog. Who knows, maybe the right idea will pop into my mind!"

On hearing that, Iris's whole attitude changed, and it completely took Rachel aback.

"You know what, Rachel? Some of us are writing about facts, not fiction," the younger woman pointed out sharply, shot Barry one last poignant look, and then walked away.

"Um… What did I say?" Rachel turned to him, feeling perplexed by the way she had just now been treated. "I didn't mean that I'd steal what she wrote and make it into a…"

Barry only sadly shook his head, dismissing her concerns.

"Don't worry about it. It wasn't anything you said. It's Iris who should be ashamed. That was so not okay." He sighed. "The thing is that ever since she created that blog and then signed her name to it… we've kind of been afraid, with Joe, that it might lead her into trouble. By this constant writing about the Streak, she'll be the first person the enemies of this guy will go after."

Rachel nodded, indeed seeing his point.

"Wait... Did you just say you wrote a book? That's so cool! I didn't know that. Can you tell me more about it?" Barry immediately followed with, showing genuine interest. "Do you maybe want to get a table? Or are you in a hurry?"

She smiled, actually welcoming the distraction that would postpone her inevitable visit to the Labs.

"I also just said that I'm on the lookout for some inspiration, so no, Barry, I am absolutely not busy. Only, I'm not sure if I should go to the counter and place an order now. Iris won't be happy to see me again."

"Well, then, that's going to be an extremely bad customer service," he commented. "But let me get you something instead, and you just find a free table for us. What would you like to drink?"

"Cappuccino, please."

Rachel did as he suggested, not feeling very good about procrastinating. Then again, she hadn't anticipated meeting Barry here. Why wouldn't she take this chance to get to know him better? Her social calendar was dreadfully empty, save for book events.

He quickly returned with two steaming cups and, after thanking him, Rachel asked, just to start the conversation somehow, "Has she cooled down yet?"

"Don't worry about Iris," he said, when taking a seat across the small table. "She's been having a really rough time recently. She and I both, actually. And it doesn't help that we don't exactly see eye to eye at the moment. She's usually supernice, but she's also very sensitive and protective about her blog. Anyways, what brings you to Jitters? Just the coffee? Can't blame you, it's the best."

Rachel smiled, taking an instant liking to him. Barry seemed easy to talk to and was making her feel absolutely comfortable, which was hard. Only a handful of people, next to none, had achieved it so fast with her, and even Harrison hadn't when they'd first met. In fact, she'd felt intimidated by him and hyperventilated when he'd reached out later to ask her out. Of course, she was happy, but it'd taken some serious ice warming for her all the same.

"Um…" She cleared her throat and avoided his eyes, playing with her cup. "I was on my way to S.T.A.R. Labs, and I made a detour," she finally admitted.

"You wanted to see Dr. Wells?"

"Actually… I wanted to see Caitlin."

"And you're nervous because you, guys, used to be friends and then grew out of touch?" he hinted. "Sorry if I'm overstepping here. It's just that... Cait told us. She also mentioned that it's very awkward for her to start again now."

"That was ages ago. And I was never really mad. Life just happened." Rachel dismissed it quickly. "I met Harrison, and she met Ronnie, and was then busy with her career, too... God, I feel so sorry that Ronnie…" Rachel couldn't even say it out loud, since the very thought of losing a loved one that way… She'd come so close to it herself.

"Yes. I know how horrible losing someone is," Barry agreed.

"Have you…?" Rachel started, but wasn't sure she should pry.

"My mother," he confessed, immediately awakening her sympathy toward him as well. "When I was eleven, I saw this…" he hesitated. "I can only describe it as a huge ball of lightning in our living room… Then I was suddenly on the street far away from our house, whereas… whereas that… thing… killed my mother, and my father was falsely accused of the murder because no one believed me. I was just a kid, spinning an impossible tale."

For a moment, Rachel was speechless. Then she finally said, "My god, Barry, I am so, so sorry."

"Thank you. You know… there are so many metahumans in the city now… It makes me think that whatever I saw… it must've had something to do with it. That maybe I can exonerate my dad."

"I really, really hope you can." There was nothing but honesty in her voice.

Barry was studying her face now, and she felt a bit uncomfortable under the scrutiny of his gaze.

"What is it?" she eventually asked him.

"Oh, sorry... It's just… you so easily believed I was telling you the truth. That means a lot to me, Rachel."

"We've already seen our own share of crazy in this town, haven't we? If both you and your dad say it happened, then it happened." There was no reason for her not to believe him. It was in his eyes, she supposed. They looked at her with such honesty, and his expression was genuine, too. She didn't think he could ever lie like this, or even hurt anyone. One thing seemed to be certain—Barry Allen was one of a kind, and at that realization, warmth spread all over her chest. She was truly happy she had met him.

Then she thought about her weird dreams and flashes about a… well, a flash. Could it all somehow be related...?

"So, why did you hope to see Caitlin if you don't hold a grudge?" Barry followed up, reminding her why they were talking about this in the first place.

"I… I was going to take her up on her offer of running some tests on me," Rachel confessed after taking a deep breath.

"Are you still having those headaches?" There was true care in his voice, as though he was really worried about her.

"I just…" her voice trailed off, and then she shook her head. "I don't want to talk about this right now. I need to see her first."

"Sure. We can walk there together if you want. I was on my way anyway."

"Why are you spending so much time in the Labs? Are you helping them after everything they've done for you?" Her curiosity was suddenly piqued.

Barry hesitated before answering the question, "Something like that. I'm a CSI. They need my consult from time to time."

"Okaaay... Well, let's go, then!"

The short walk from the Jitters to S.T.A.R. Labs alongside Barry was very pleasant, and Rachel almost forgot about the upcoming conversation she would have to have with Caitlin. There were only two ways this could go, and she wasn't sure she liked either. Still, one alternative was definitely better than the other.

"Do you want to say hi to Dr. Wells first?" Barry asked her when they exited the elevator on the right floor, him clearly heading toward the cortex.

It felt so weird for Rachel to hear them all refer to Harrison as 'Dr. Wells', and by that, making him feel older than he actually was. Then again, he did carry an air of authority around himself, and was not so easy-going as to tell everyone to be on the first-name basis with him. The scientific environment required a lot of respect, as the title was so hard to achieve, with the major being extremely difficult.

Rachel hadn't even talked to him in the morning about her possible visit, and wasn't going to now either. She didn't need more worry or uncomfortable questions. She'd rather just meet Caitlin.

"Later. I'll go straight to Cait's lab," she answered. "Do me a favor, and if you see her in the cortex, send her after me, okay?"

"You got it!" Barry waved her temporary goodbye and was already leaving, but then he turned to her again. "Rachel?"

"Yes?"

"I hope everything's going to be all right, and that you'll hear the answer you want to hear in there."

She smiled, really touched by the way he cared.

"Thanks, Barry."

Caitlin actually was in her lab, currently looking at something under a microscope. Rachel announced her presence as gently as she could by knocking and then simply speaking a word of greeting, but somehow, the other woman still seemed startled.

"Are you okay? Are… we okay?" Rachel asked, as awkwardness between them was the last thing she wanted. "I swear there is no grudge here or any resentment. People drift apart sometimes, and I know how busy your work made you once you started..."

"Yes, of course… It's just…" Cait hesitated, avoiding Rachel's eyes. "Um... ah, nothing. You're right. We're okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, absolutely. In fact, I would like us to be friends again," she confessed. "What do you say?"

"I'd love to."

"Great." Finally, the smile was reciprocated, and their eyes met. "I read your book, by the way, and I found it very good. Looking forward to what you're going to write next."

"Really? You did? Thank you. It truly means a lot. To be honest, I'm searching for some inspiration," Rachel admitted.

"And that brings you to S.T.A.R. Labs?" Caitlin asked in surprise.

"No. It's more like… I would like to take you up on your offer. My headaches... they aren't getting any better, and…" she didn't even know how to articulate herself, since she was plainscared.

"You really are afraid, aren't you?" Caitlin's voice showed concern.

Rachel took a deep breath and she said, for the first time aloud, "I think I might be a meta."

There was a short pause while the doctor was digesting that information, and then she queried, "What kind of a meta?"

"Aren't you afraid?" Rachel asked instead, a bit taken aback. "So far, there's been so many of them… and all of them bad. All of them had to be stopped. I don't… I don't want to end up like that, Cait. And it's either this or having a tumor in my brain, which…" She had to look aside as tears glistened in her eyes.

"Have you talked to Dr. Wells about it?"

Rachel only shook her head in response.

"He's hunting metas, trying to fix his mistakes," she finally explained. "How can I tell him that the woman he's in a relationship with may be one of them? I mean, sure, it was bound to happen. I was here when the accelerator exploded..."

"Rachel." Caitlin came closer and carefully placed her hands on her friend's shoulders. "He will not see you any differently. Metahumans aren't all bad. We also know some pretty good ones who do a lot for this city. True, we lost one recently too, but it was only because her powers quite literally made her into a ticking bomb."

"I... I experience… flashes... like… visions," Rachel slowly began, "but they're over too fast for me to tell what they really are. I don't know whether they'll stay this way or… or I'll maybe be able to eventually hold them for longer to discern what they mean… So far," she met Caitlin's eyes evenly, "I saw a blur. A red blur speeding so much that I felt dizzy, and... when it happens, it's always followed by a headache. Then last night, I read the news articles about the Streak... I think that's what it is, Cait. That's what—or rather whom—I'm seeing."

The doctor's mind whirled as she thought hard—and right back to the day in which she'd faced Rachel again, to the day Barry had met her, and just when the redhead had shaken his hand, she'd gotten a terrible migraine. It was also then that Caitlin noticed something was wrong and offered help.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do," she said, a plan already formed. "I will test you for the metahuman gene, and I will take a look at your brain scan. What I'll do after is talk to someone, while you'll have to wait. But you have to promise me that you will, Rachel. You have to trust me, because… because I think I know exactly what's going on with you."

Rachel was confused, but did agree to Caitlin's terms. After all, the woman would test her immediately and give her the news she so desperately needed, even if she also dreaded it.

Rachel had already been waiting in Caitlin's lab for a good portion of half an hour. The tests had been done, but she still hadn't heard anything, and was by now getting a little impatient. She wondered why her doctor friend needed to talk to someone first, and what the big secret was all about.

Finally, as the writer's anxiety seemed to have reached a sky-high level, Cait came back just to lead her straight to the cortex where Harrison, Barry, and Cisco were waiting.

"Um… hi, everyone." Rachel waved at them awkwardly, unsure of what was happening. She had heard Caitlin mentioning the good metahumans, but somehow, she still dreaded that they would feel threatened if she turned out to be one.

"I'm sorry you had to wait so long," Cait said, when standing somewhere in the middle, separating Rachel from the rest, "but before I could tell you what I really wanted to, I had to ask someone's permission first, since it wasn't my secret to reveal. So, to start… yes, Rachel, you have the metahuman gene. We also think your powers will manifest more with time. How do we know that? From experience."

Rachel risked a glance at Harrison, but his expression told her absolutely nothing. He was merely an observer, not shocked, nor worried about the news. Maybe he wasn't used to showing any kind of emotions among other people, or maybe he'd already suspected something since she'd been by his side that fateful and horrible night.

To her surprise, it was Barry who spoke next, "That secret is mine."

"Wait… are you…?" Rachel pointed at him, realization slowly dawning on her. "You're a meta?"

"Not just any meta… Um… It may be better if I show you…." In one moment, he was there, and then he was gone to… to speed back, but… in a suit.

Rachel's mouth flew open as the pieces of the puzzle finally fit together. "You're the Streak?!" she gasped.

"I don't really like that name." He winced through his mask.

"Oh, wow!" She was still in awe, trying to process everything. "That's… that is... Au!" She immediately had to press her hands to her head, hit with particularly nasty pain. "Oh, god! There's this flash again…"

Barry was by her side in no time, holding her up and leading her to a chair, and then Cisco was offering her a glass of water.

She accepted it with gratitude and drank a lot, hoping for her migraine to subside at least a little.

"We've got to do something about those headaches," Caitlin said. "I'm gonna hit the lab right away. Maybe I can come up with some kind of a serum…"

"Flash…" Barry murmured under his breath at the same time, clearly thinking about something, both him and the rest of the team oblivious to the way Dr. Wells was watching them.

"Has it been just Barry so far, or have you seen any other metas?" Harrison finally asked a question, driving his wheelchair over to his girlfriend.

"Only Barry. Though when we started hearing about them on the news, I had all kinds of crazy dreams I could never remember afterward… weird shapes…" Rachel shook her head and frowned, trying to recall something, but was not able to make any sense of it. "And headaches. Lots of headaches. Is this… is this dangerous? What I have?" She then turned to Caitlin, doing her best not to panic. "Is my brain going to be okay?"

"Yes. I wouldn't worry. The scan came out clean."

"At least that's a relief."

"Well, it's certainly going to be interesting," Harrison commented.

It was normal for Harrison to lose track of time while working; however, it was getting extremely late, and so far, Rachel hadn't heard from him. The team couldn't exactly keep fixed hours due to the unpredictability of metahumans, but at least he had a habit of texting her if he was going to be significantly delayed.

Except tonight.

She refused to be a controlling partner, as she believed in trust given freely until it was broken, and in the fact that happy relationships depended on absolute acceptance of the other person's character.

Still, it was way too late, and so far, he'd always,always let her know that he wouldn't be returning home on time.

Worried sick, Rachel dialed his number, but there was no response.

She tried again a few minutes later, by then unable to focus on anything anymore and feeling terrified that something might've really happened.

On her third try, she called Barry instead.

"Hi, Rachel," he answered immediately, as though he'd just had his phone in his hand or had hung up on his previous conversation. "Is everything okay?"

"I… I actually wanted to ask you about Harrison," she began slowly, her voice shaky. "I haven't heard from him yet, and every time you guys have to deal with a metahuman after hours, he tells me. You know, like last Thursday when he said it would take longer…"

"We didn't have any metas to deal with last…" Barry started, very confused and clearly thinking hard, but Rachel was too rattled to pay much attention to it, dismissing it as a misunderstanding. "Maybe you meant another… Anyway, he's okay, don't worry. We had a little crisis in the Labs… I mean, a little bigger than a little… There was this energy-feeding meta, and he almost killed me. He did take my powers for a while, too… He was actually after Dr. Wells, but it's all good now. We're all safe, and he should be on his way home as we speak."

As Barry predicted, Rachel heard the front door open; therefore, she was forced to cut the call short.

"He's here now. Thank you, Barry. See you." She quickly disconnected. "Harrison?!"

She ran to the hall, spotting him there in his wheelchair.

"Are you okay?!" She was by his side in no time. "I just talked to Barry. Why didn't you tell me what happened?!"

"I didn't want to worry you," he answered simply, apparently not making a big deal out of it. "There was absolutely nothing you could've done. You would've only sat here, going out of your mind. And once the meta was taken care of, I might've as well gone home. There was no need for a phone call if I was already on my way."

Sometimes, she really hated his cold logic.

"So you consider no messages less worrying than a message saying you were actually in danger?" She folded her arms across her chest.

"Yes." He directed his wheelchair to the kitchen. "At least you didn't know that I was, indeed, in mortal danger, and you didn't drive all the way to S.T.A.R. Labs to put yourself in that position as well. I know you. You would've done it. And the meta would've taken you and hurt you the moment he'd realized you were mine."

"Yours?" Rachel's eyebrows rose. She wasn't sure if she liked this possessive side of his—whether she found it sexy or plain disturbing.

"I made a decision, and it was the right one," he insisted.

She pressed her lips tightly together, wondering what to say to that, but eventually, she didn't say anything at all. She would need to call herself a hypocrite if, after getting to know him and the man he was deep down inside, she tried to force him to become someone else for her own convenience. She either accepted him or didn't, and if she didn't, there was no room for a healthy relationship, because she didn't believe one could truly change a person. Harrison could be charming, and he was passionate where it counted. Sometimes, though, he was also very reserved.

In the end, it was just who he was.

"What kind of meta was it?" Rachel asked then.

"He was feeding himself off electricity. For a moment there, he even stole Barry's powers."

"Wait a second…" Her hand went up to her head.

"Are you okay? Is it another headache?"

She liked that he hadn't been put off when he'd found out about her being a meta. She actually suspected he'd known for a while, or at least had an inkling, but had given her the time to come to terms with it on her own and tell him whenever she was ready. That was something she truly appreciated about him. He'd taken it all well, and it had not, in any way, affected their relationship.

"I had a very vivid dream about electricity flowing last night," she explained. "Should've known it was about metahumans."

"You can't beat yourself up over that. It's still all new to you. Just take it slow, and feel your way around those powers," he advised.

She nodded, biting her lip.

"You're right, but... I think I should start writing down every dream I have from now on… on the off-chance that it may tell us something useful about a new meta. I just can't understand why the flashes I get of Barry happen even during the day, while I'm wide awake."

"Maybe your connection to him is stronger," Harrison suggested, watching her closely from behind his glasses.

"Yeah. It's probably because I know him personally." She shrugged, missing the suspicious expression he was currently wearing. "Anyway, do you need anything? How about a nice bath?"

"I'll just take a shower, but you should lose the clothes and wait for me," he hinted, and she liked that idea very much.

Moments later, after he drove into the bedroom and got in bed, she climbed onto him, capturing his mouth with hers while grazing herself against his well-shaped body. His hands immediately found themselves, first on her face as he deepened the kiss, and then slid lower to her shoulders, and finally, to her breasts, massaging them skillfully. She gasped, enjoying the way he teased her. It didn't take long for her to begin to moan under his touch and to notice his obvious response. She didn't want to wait, so she reached down to grasp his shaft and guide it inside her, slowly starting to move up and down.

While she was lost in the sensations, too immersed in the sounds he was making, in how he felt buried in her, and how he made her feel—she had a brief flash of someone speeding, but this time the color was yellow. Interesting, she only thought, not paying much attention to it.

Over the next couple of days, and especially after her talk with the team at S.T.A.R. Labs, Rachel couldn't help but worry about Harrison. For that reason alone, she kept on popping in with regular visits. She pretended that it was all due to her own growing powers and the fact that those people were just about her only friends at the moment—and technically, yes, it was all true—but, at the same time, she found it very odd that Harrison didn't seem to be affected by what had happened.

And again, he'd almost sacrificed himself to save his team, his only bet on Barry's powers returning a very thin one. He was lucky—nothing more and nothing less—simply lucky that Barry cared enough about him to somehow jumpstart his lost speed and save him. And he refused to talk about it, just like he refused to talk about what had happened nine months prior.

Rachel was all about waiting for the right moment—the moment when he would finally feel ready to confide in her—but she slowly realized that it might actually never come, that Harrison's way of dealing with things was either ignoring them or burying them deep, where they couldn't affect even himself. It had to be, since the explanation that it hadn't affected him at all just couldn't be true. It would affect just about anyone, even the grand Dr. Harrison Wells.

Didn't he have feelings? Rachel wondered, troubled. Or normal human emotions? Then again, if that were true, and he really was emotionally impaired, he wouldn't have fallen for her, would he…?

Worry brought her to the Labs every single day now. It was actually good for her, as she could spend more time with Caitlin, Barry, and Cisco. They'd integrated her as part of the team and considered her one of their own.

"My identity is a closely guarded secret, known only to a few, and if it were to get out…"

"Oops…" slipped from Rachel's mouth, as she clearly walked in on something in the cortex, and it was way too late to simply back out and pretend she wasn't even there.

Two people she didn't recognize at first turned to her—one of them a blonde woman, and the other…

"Oliver Queen?" she asked, a frown marring her face, until moments later, sudden understanding dawned on her.

She'd heard about the Flash going against Arrow the night before. Also, Oliver Queen was just now in S.T.A.R. Labs, talking about his secret identity…

"I'm… so sorry," she apologized, visibly paling and feeling incredibly awkward as she met the man's surprised and annoyed gaze. His eyes lingered on her a little bit longer before they turned back to team Flash, eyebrows elevated.

"Anything I should be worried about?" he asked, sighing heavily and rubbing his forehead, which betrayed his own exhaustion. "Like I said, if anyone were to find out…"

"Don't worry, she's part of the team. She won't say a thing," Barry assured his friend, while Rachel quickly made her way to Harrison and placed her hand on the man's shoulder.

Oliver eyed her again.

"Rachel here is my partner, and I trust her with my life," Harrison assured the Star City billionaire, meeting his eyes in a way that nearly posed a challenge. "So does the team." He then covered her hand with his own and gave it a little squeeze.

It was a few minutes later, once both Oliver and the woman, Felicity, were gone, that Rachel finally faced Harrison.

"Were you just jealous?" she teased him, the corners of her mouth twitching.

"Me? I don't get jealous."

She placed her hands on her hips and followed with, "Then what was that all about? You were eyeing Oliver Queen like you were warning him not to come near me."

"That was simply showing him who held the power here. It's still my roof."

Rachel raised her eyebrows, as though not quite buying it, and then she leaned forward, giving Harrison an excellent view of her cleavage. "Just for your information, Oliver Queen isn't my type."

"Really?" she heard Caitlin ask her in surprise from the other side of the room.

She straightened up, turning to her friend, "Really. Too bulky. I'm not really into that. I'm far more interested in brain, and… nicely toned, slim male bodies." She winked back at Harrison. "You know, filled-out arms," she then continued, "but not too extreme…"

"Okay… can we just, please, stop talking about muscles?" Cisco clearly felt uncomfortable.

"Well, dude, all Iris has been talking about ever since Oliver arrived in town, is how hot he is," Barry provided the information, sighing. "So, yes, I second that. Can we just stop now, please?"

"I'm surprised, though." Caitlin came closer to Rachel. "I thought I knew you better, but apparently, I don't. Like, really? If you were single right now… even then, you wouldn't say that Oliver Queen's hot?"

"Nope." Rachel shook her head, spreading her arms. "Sorry to disappoint, but yes, even if I were single today, and lonely, I still wouldn't go out with him. I'm a special snowflake that way." She winked at Caitlin, happy about her pun.

"I suggest everyone gets back to work," Harrison said, effectively bringing an end to the conversation and directing himself straight to his office.

As he passed Rachel, unbeknownst to him, her hand went up to her head—a vision of two flashes—red and yellow—clashing in her mind.

"Are you okay?" Barry was the one who noticed the sudden change, and came closer, concerned. "Did you see something again? Is your headache bad?" he followed with.

For a moment, Rachel only stared at him blankly, remembering exactly what he'd told her once about the man who'd killed his mother.

"Barry…" she started, but hesitated, not sure how to even relay the information to him. "I actually saw something that might be of interest to you…" she then said slowly, because the truth was, if she were him, she wouldn't want people to spare her either. She would like to know everything. And right away.

"What is it?" he asked in surprise.

"I no longer just see you running when a vision hits me…"

"Okay…?"

"I saw him once already, but I didn't connect the dots back then. Just now, I realized what it really means... Barry, I saw a yellow blur. I think the Man in Yellow—the one you mentioned killed your mother… I think he might be back."

Harrison seemed to hate Christmas time—giving Rachel yet another thing to worry about.

Nevertheless, she still tried her best to change his mind and hopefully bring him into a more festive mood. In the end, however, it was all for nothing, and, in turn, he started negatively affecting her own holiday mood as well. She understood that this time of year might bring a lot of unwanted memories to the surface, regarding the explosion which had happened right before Christmas, but she still hoped to help somehow. Rachel truly went out of her way to make him happy, but he wasn't amused, not even seduced by the Christmas-themed lingerie she'd bought. At least no more than usual. He was simply impatient to get it out of the way so he could pull her down onto him and sink deeply inside her.

Maybe she was going about it the wrong way, or maybe she would never succeed in making all those bad memories and regrets go away… She wished she could, though. If every time during Christmas he retreated until the festivities were over, she wasn't sure how she would be able to handle it in the long haul. She was absolutely okay with him not being okay—if only he actually let her in. But he refused to. He never wanted to talk about what had happened—ignoring it instead, and not paying any attention to it. If Harrison was this depressed during the holidays, then it clearly meant he'd only buried all the pain deep inside, and it wasn't healthy. In fact, it had started affecting their very relationship.

Rachel tried talking to him and received the cold shoulder in response every single damn time. In the end, she gave up, leaving the house and feeling beyond frustrated while thinking about where she could go. She would love a nice dinner in a restaurant, surrounded by Christmas decorations, or just a simple coffee at Jitters… but she would have to settle for being alone instead. Or maybe not, she then thought. Just because nothing she did could convince Harrison to go out and have at least a little bit of fun with her, to try to forget, to give this a chance—it didn't mean she had to stay home and mope as well.

Barely had she made the decision to text the team, when she was surprised to see a message coming from Barry, telling her that she was right—the Man in Yellow had, indeed, been seen, breaking into Mercury Labs.

She turned around right on the spot and made her way straight to the precinct, where Detective Joe West kindly directed her to the right floor and lab.

That was how Rachel found Barry sitting in a chair, staring at a huge board. After taking a few steps in his direction, she realized it contained all the details of his mother's case.

"Hi, Barry…" she said slowly, careful not to scare him. She hoped she wasn't intruding.

"Oh, Rachel… Hi… Did you come because of my message? You didn't have to… I mean…" He seemed quite surprised to see her suddenly appear at his workplace, and quite embarrassed.

"Don't worry. I had nothing better to do anyway…" She nearly sighed. "I can't seem to do anything to cheer Harrison up, so I could either sit at home alone, or go out and see some friends. That was when you texted me. Are you all right?"

"I'm sorry," Barry said softly. "This time is tough on all of us. And right now we have to deal with the Man in Yellow…" He stood up and stretched, taking one last look at the board. "You know, I've been staring at this so much over the last couple of years that I have it all memorized. Yet, I still can't find a way out. I know my dad's innocent, but I just can't prove it. The Man in Yellow is my only chance."

"What if we do catch him?" Rachel asked. "What then? How will we even prove that he's the one who murdered your mother? We can't just assume he's going to confess, can we?" No, she supposed she would not manage to get into the Christmas spirit this year, after all. Not with so much going on.

"Well, no, I don't think it's going to be easy, but I hope that once we have him and his DNA, we can reopen the case. He's a metahuman, and placing him in my house that night, together with the testimony of me and my dad… Hopefully, it will bring enough doubt that my father did it, and they will have to release him…"

"But there were no metahumans back then, were there?" Rachel pointed out the obvious, and then her eyes suddenly widened. "Barry!" She pointed at something outside the window.

The Flash looked that way, and his heart immediately started to beat faster. There, on the roof of the opposite building, stood the Man in Yellow—the man he wanted to find and catch so desperately.

"Stay here!" he told her, and before she managed to scream at him to wait, he was gone… in a flash.

Rachel did the only thing she could think of in this situation—she grabbed her phone and dialed Harrison, but he wasn't picking up.

"Damn it!" she cursed under her breath, and after a moment of thought, she ran out of the lab.

Ignoring all the surprised looks she got from the people in the building as she was rushing outside, Rachel headed to S.T.A.R. Labs, choosing to dial Caitlin on her way, when suddenly… she was quite literally swept off her feet and carried with such speed that her hair whipped backward. Her stomach immediately reeled, hating the foreign sensation, as she didn't even know which direction was up or down anymore. All she could do was hold on tight to the person who had her in their hold, hoping it wasn't the Man in Yellow. Then again, what interest would he actually have in taking her? Well… other than her being in Barry's lab very late in the evening, that was—came the thought, and panic washed all over her.

Luckily, she could calm down the next second, finding herself standing—though wobbly—in the middle of the cortex, facing Barry in his Flash suit.

"I told you to stay put!" he raised his voice in anger. "If something happened to you…" His hands flung to his head in a desperate gesture as he turned around and started pacing.

"Well, I'm sorry, Barry, but I'm not gonna do that when you just decide to run headfirst into danger yourself! Besides, do you really think that walls, or even a police station, could stop this monster?! He broke into your childhood home with no problems!" she yelled right back, still shaken up.

"What the hell is going on here?!" they heard Harrison's irritated voice as he just drove into the cortex, Caitlin and Cisco approaching from the opposite side.

"The Man in Yellow. He's back," Barry informed, facing the doctor. "And Rachel saw him and me together in her vision. He came after me just now!"

The following day at the Labs was very busy as team Flash, in collaboration with the police, was setting a trap for the Man in Yellow. Joe had successfully managed to reopen Nora Allen's case—there was just one problem.

"There is no way I'm letting you two anywhere near this building while we try to lure this man in," Harrison informed both Barry and Rachel, with West backing him up.

"What?! This man killed my mother!" Barry immediately protested in anger.

"And that is exactly why!" Joe told him. "Barry, I am sorry, son, but you're too close to this, and too emotional right now. It's clouding your judgment, and it will impact the way you'll act. We can handle it. Dr. Wells has a perfect trap in mind."

"Yes, but it's still a very powerful and elusive meta! What if this isn't going to be enough?!"

"He's got a point!" Rachel turned to her partner, "I also don't want to leave your side! Not after the last time, when you almost got killed in here!"

"Why would I be in any danger? I'm not the one he's after." Harrison turned to her slowly, killing her arguments with pure logic and remaining perfectly calm while doing so. "And even if I were, I am also not having you here. It's too dangerous."

"But…"

"I'm sorry, Rachel, but you aren't trained. You'll only stand in the way," Joe informed her. "Both you and Barry will, because you are both too emotionally involved. Off you go—now."

Barry shot the men a very disappointed and slightly angry look before he listened and left, clearly having no choice in the matter. Rachel, on the other hand, crouched by Harrison and took his hands in hers.

"Please, please be careful," she found herself begging.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I've already used up all the bad luck I could get," he assured her.

Still, she didn't like that answer—or the way he didn't even kiss her back when she leaned forward. He'd been distant recently, and she had no idea what to do about it anymore.

She also had no idea where to go or what to occupy herself with at the moment, as she couldn't possibly get down to work. Her mind was too distracted and far too worried about what could happen this afternoon—too much was at stake, and too many innocent lives were involved. And with Barry also not being present… Rachel wasn't sure whether she agreed with Detective West on that one. On one hand, yes, he was right about Barry's emotional involvement, but on the other, they didn't exactly have any metas at their disposal who could help them if something really went wrong.

Rachel came to a sudden stop as she saw a flash in her mind, her head already throbbing, but she made the effort to push through the pain and focus on the blurry image instead, afraid it might have something to do with the Man in Yellow and what he was going to do.

Only, it didn't. Instead, she could have sworn she briefly saw Barry talking to an older man in a prison suit, sitting behind plexiglass… That instant, she knew where her friend had disappeared to.

Once the prison exit door opened for Barry, he was stunned to see Rachel waiting for him with two cups of coffee.

"Here," she handed him one, though quite sheepishly. "I remembered your favorite. I thought you could use it after this visit."

"How…?" Barry gasped, shaking his head. "How did you even know I was here?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spy on you. A vision just happened, and I saw you visiting your dad," she explained quickly, hoping she wasn't overstepping any boundaries. "Also, I had nothing else to do, since I can't focus on anything today… I thought maybe you could use some company. I hope it's okay that I…"

"Oh, of course," Barry assured her quickly, noticing her embarrassment. "Don't worry. I'm actually happy to see you. And thank you for the coffee."

"Are you okay?" she asked gently.

"Um… yeah, it's just… it's tough. My dad wants me to stay out of danger as well, and I just…" Barry sighed before confessing, "I need to see this through. I need to see the Man in Yellow captured."

Rachel didn't say anything to that, but she did turn to face her friend, and then she simply put her arms around him, hugging him. She had a feeling he needed it, and there wasn't much else she could do to make him feel better at the moment. A friendly, supportive hug was all she could think of.

Thankfully, it didn't turn out to be awkward, as Barry hugged her back, and they continued their walk.

"I'm very sorry about what happened to you, but I know that you're never going to be alone, Barry," she felt the need to say.

He nodded, and they walked a bit in silence before he spoke again, determination in his voice, "I need to be there. It's the man who murdered my mother. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm a grown-up and I can actually be the difference between those cops, and Joe, and Dr. Wells dying out there. I still don't think they realize what they're really up against."

"Take me with you," was all Rachel said. She didn't have the right to tell him what to do. She could only decide for herself, and she wanted to be where Harrison was at the moment, and make sure he was okay.

"Hold on tight," Barry told her as he led her behind some building, so they would avoid being seen.

There, she tentatively put her arms around his neck—a gesture suddenly a bit too intimate, but it was the only way to hold onto him tightly. He took hold of her as well, and before she knew it, there was this unpleasant rush again, and then they were standing in the middle of the cortex.

"Oh, thank god!" Caitlin exclaimed in relief upon seeing them.

"He's going to kill Dr. Wells!" Cisco shouted in panic, immediately causing Rachel to pale, whereas Barry had already disappeared.

A lot happened in the next few minutes. On the monitors, they could see the two speedsters taking the fight outside, so Rachel didn't waste any time and ran straight to the pipeline, where Harrison was, beaten up by the Man in Yellow.

"Oh my god! Are you okay?!" she screamed while getting to her knees and placing her hands on Harrison's motionless form.

He grunted, and she released a breath of relief that he was at least alive.

"I told… you… to stay put," he still felt the need to point out, but she didn't have it in her to be angry with him. She was just happy he was more or less okay.

The Man in Yellow was gone, driven away by the surprising appearance of Ronnie, Caitlin's supposedly dead fiancé. His state was still not confirmed, though, since he seemed not to remember who he really was—but he did somehow remember Caitlin, and that was at least a start.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you," Rachel said to her friend. "I didn't even realize something so big was happening."

"It's okay," Caitlin brushed it off while taking care of Harrison's injuries. "You all had a lot on your plates with the Man in Yellow…"

"Reverse Flash," Cisco provided, cutting in, and Caitlin rolled her eyes at her best friend.

"…and your visions and all," she then made a point to continue. "Cisco was by my side, and it was enough."

Rachel supposed it was. She knew she couldn't immediately earn herself the right to be called Cait's best friend. A lot had happened since they'd both been in college, but at the same time, she hoped that they would only get closer in the future.

"I promise you, Caitlin, that we will find Ronnie and bring him home," Harrison assured her, briefly touching her hand.

"For now, you need to rest, Dr. Wells."

"She's right, you know," Rachel pointed out. "I'm really sick of you getting hurt. And what was that about the Man in Yellow not having an interest in you?" she teased, folding her arms across her chest.

Harrison left that without comment until the door actually closed behind both Caitlin and Cisco, leaving the pair alone.

"I can't really do anything about it, can I?" he then said to Rachel in a gruff tone. "I made a mistake a year ago, and it cost me a lot, okay? I lost my legs, I lost my career… Now I need to fight against those metahumans, and I need to train Barry. That's my only chance at redemption." He reached for his shirt.

"You still have me," Rachel quietly reminded him, feeling like she was about to cry. "You haven't lost me. All I'm asking, Harrison, is… just please, give it a chance. Give some joy a chance. Let's go to Joe West's house together. He invited us over for Christmas."

"You go. I have work to do," Wells responded in the same unpleasant voice, not even casting her a glance as he got himself back into his wheelchair and left the room.

Rachel wiped away a stray tear and also left, no longer able to take this.

In the end, she did go to Joe's house. She chose people who were celebrating—people who were laughing, and talking, and having a good time—over being alone on this day. She had no idea anymore what would happen with her and Harrison, and she was tired of worrying, just tired of constantly getting hurt.

Everyone was there: Joe with his daughter Iris, her boyfriend Eddie, Barry, Caitlin, and Cisco.

"Are you all right?" Barry asked Rachel, walking over to her as soon as he spotted her, and offering her a cup of eggnog.

"I… I'm trying to be," she responded, carefully but honestly. "I just lately feel like… like everything's falling apart…"

"Yeah, I know this feeling well. But remember… you're never going to be alone as well, Rachel."

She couldn't help it, and she finally cracked a smile. "Merry Christmas, Barry."

"Merry Christmas, Rachel."

While the team was celebrating at Joe's house, Harrison Wells—or maybe rather the Reverse Flash—was busy in his hidden room at S.T.A.R. Labs, finally having obtained the device he needed.

"Merry Christmas." He smiled.

It felt like someone was slamming a hammer down on her head. Repeatedly.

Over and over and over again, as if splitting her skull open.

It couldn't be the appearance of the Weather Wizard. He was powerful, yes, but he was just another new meta in town—nothing more, nothing less. Besides, Rachel could somehow tell that it was more than that. She just had no idea what, exactly.

Soon enough, the pain started driving her crazy and, despite the still-early hour, she buried herself in bed. She'd taken a strong painkiller, but it wasn't helping at all, so she contemplated a visit to the Labs. Only, she didn't look forward to the journey there either. Maybe she could call Barry for a lift…

Suddenly, something flashed in front of her eyes, and she was looking at both Harrison and Cisco, a sense of dread washing over her. They did have the theory that the closer she was to a person, the stronger the vision of them could be. The question was—what did this have to do with the two of them, as they clearly weren't metas. In the end, it could only mean one thing—they were in danger.

Before Rachel knew it, she was getting to her feet, grabbing her coat, and leaving the house—the pain pushed away, replaced by genuine fear. At the same time, she tried dialing Barry, but to no avail. He must've been busy with the Weather Wizard.

Halfway to her destination, she was hit with a full-blown panic and wasn't sure anymore whether it was just her own anxiety or maybe something more—something brought on by her vision and how close she was to the two people it concerned.

Finally, with a tremendous effort due to the hammering in her head, she reached the cortex at S.T.A.R. Labs, and a brief glance at the main computer screen told her that Cisco was busy downstairs with the construction they'd used before to ineffectively trap the Reverse Flash. Could the meta be about to make an appearance once more? Rachel wondered, immediately heading in that direction.

Nothing, absolutely nothing—not even her visions—could prepare her for what she witnessed. In fact, she wasn't sure she would ever be able to recover from it. It was a miracle she managed to swallow the terror-filled scream already forming on her lips.

She saw Harrison and Cisco facing each other. Standing.

If that wasn't enough of a shock to her—to see Harrison actually standing as though it cost him no effort at all… he was vibrating his hand, and before Rachel knew it, he drove it straight into Cisco's chest, killing the young man on the spot.

She stifled a scream and turned around, desperately trying to locate a hiding spot, shaking all over, her headache long forgotten as she suddenly found herself fighting for her own survival. A good place to hide seemed to be standing between her life and death at the moment.

Cisco… Cisco… Cisco was dead. What was more, Harrison Wells—the man Rachel was in a relationship with, the man she loved, the man she shared a bed with… he was the killer. He possessed some unnatural gifts, and it didn't take much to figure out that he was apparently a meta and… She almost froze, nearly going into a catatonic state as she realized the horrible truth, the biggest secret, the most vile play, the horrendous betrayal… Her hand flew up to cover her mouth, to stop herself from screaming.

#*#*#

It felt like someone was slamming a hammer down on her head. Repeatedly.

Over and over and over again. Splitting her skull open.

It couldn't be the appearance of the Weather Wizard. He was powerful, yes, but he was just another new meta in town—nothing more, nothing less. Besides, Rachel could somehow tell that it was more than that. She just had no idea what, exactly.

There were some weird flashes in her mind, but she couldn't make out any of them—and somehow, they all felt wrong. She had the worst feeling that something big was fundamentally wrong, yet she wasn't able to figure out what it was. And it was quite literally driving her insane.

She'd felt like this ever since she'd woken up that day, and after the dream she'd had… She couldn't recall much of it, but it'd been such a nightmare that Rachel started to tremble every time she dared to think about it. Eventually, she gave up trying to remember, deciding that letting go was for the best. It was just a dream, after all—nothing important.

Then, the next thing she knew, Cisco popped into her mind, and her headache stopped altogether.

She frowned, not understanding this vision and wondering whether it was possible that Cisco was a meta and didn't know about it yet. Then again, why would the pain stop so suddenly, so smoothly? That had never happened before.

Rachel had an inexplicable urge to see her friend and make sure that he was all right.

She was in a rush; therefore, it hadn't taken her long to arrive at her destination.

Every single member of team Flash was present in the cortex, including the man she needed to make sure was safe.

"Is everything all right?!" Rachel asked in an urgent tone, the gathering rousing her suspicions. "Are you okay?!" She then ran over to Cisco and looked at him closely, checking up on him.

"Um… yeah?" he answered, a little taken aback and clearly unsure of what to make of this situation. "Why?"

"You're not hurt, and you haven't suddenly discovered you're… a meta, maybe?" she hinted, squinting her eyes at him.

"Um… no…? I think I'd know if I was a meta. Am I a meta?" He immediately turned to the rest of the team.

In response, they only returned his flabbergasted stare.

"Well… I... I had a horrible, horrible headache this morning," Rachel followed with an explanation, "and it suddenly stopped when Cisco popped into my mind... just like a vision, and… I don't know." She shrugged helplessly. "It was very unusual, so I thought maybe he was, or would soon be, attacked by someone, or… maybe he even developed powers."

"…Or was going to develop them?" guessed Harrison, narrowing his eyes while looking at Cisco as though this could help him somehow see right into the man's future.

"But that doesn't make any sense. He would've already had them," Caitlin disagreed. "We haven't heard of a meta that developed powers this late yet, so I would say it's easy to assume it happens instantaneously. The change at the molecular level was prompted by the particle accelerator explosion. And it happened over a year ago."

"I don't know. I'm not a scientist. I'm just telling you what I've seen." Rachel was truly at a loss.

"Man, I wish a pretty girl would rush to make sure I'm all right every day," Cisco said dreamily, and they all laughed—except Harrison, who voiced a threat instead, "Careful there, Ramon." That prompted another burst of laughter. Right up until Rachel put her hands to her head and shut her eyes, her face contorting in pain.

"What is it?" Wells immediately asked in concern.

"Weather Wizard… Barry, better hurry."

Who would think that Cisco's wish would actually come true when he was, later that day, picked up at a bar by a pretty girl way out of his league and… lured straight right into Leonard Snart's trap?

"Are you okay?" a concerned Rachel asked him once more when he was safely back at S.T.A.R. Labs. It turned out that he'd revealed Barry's secret identity to the criminal because the man had tortured his brother, Dante. "You do know that you didn't do anything wrong, don't you?"

Only a few of the lights were still burning in the cortex, as everyone except them and Harrison—who'd promised he would just take a moment and be right back—had already gone home.

"And no one is mad at me. Yeah, I know, I know, but it still feels like…"

She nodded, understanding him perfectly.

"If someone tortured Harrison, or… any of you, really… I'd tell them everything they wanted to know on the spot. There would be no other way, because I care for you, guys. There would also be no shame in it, too. I'd feel exactly like you do right now. I'm sure of it, but still… I wouldn't do anything differently. So, please, do me a favor and just let it go, okay?"

He nodded, sending her a small smile.

"Thank you, Rachel."

"Of course."

"You're a very good friend. And... thank you for earlier… you did warn me there."

She frowned at the reminder. "I'm not sure that whatever I saw had anything to do with your kidnapping, Cisco," she admitted. "Leonard, his sister… they're not metas. And I can only see metas."

"Or maybe your powers are growing, and we just don't understand them," Cisco offered as a possible explanation.

"Maybe. We will have to wait and see, I guess."

"Ready?" Harrison appeared in the doorway at that very moment.

"Please, go home as well." Rachel still turned to Cisco on her way out. "Get some rest."

Sometime later...

"Barry…" Caitlin started, though still in shock. She thought of the one person who deserved to know the truth more than anyone else—or at least as much as her speedster friend did. "Barry, we should talk to…"

"What if…?" he started, hesitating. "What if she's in on it?" he eventually asked the perfect question—and quite shakily at that—as he whirled on both Caitlin and Cisco, causing them to come to a startled stop to avoid colliding with him.

They'd just seen the secret room in the Labs and discovered the Reverse Flash suit hiding there.

"What?! No! No way!" Caitlin immediately protested, shaking her head. "Barry, Rachel is just as clueless as we all were! There's no way she's in league with the Reverse Flash… Oh god…" she then groaned, placing her hands on her head. "This is going to be devastating to her! This will be the worst news she's ever gotten! It will ruin her life!"

"No. It ruined my father's life," Barry protested angrily.

"Yes, it did," Cait agreed. "And Rachel's in love with… with a person she doesn't even know. Don't you realize...? She's sharing a life with someone who isn't who she thinks he is! It will absolutely destroy her...! Should I talk to her first, maybe?" she suddenly suggested.

"No." Barry shook his head. "She's been trying to get a hold of me recently, and I… I've kind of been avoiding her, because I had no idea what I should even say to her, and how… God, you're right. This is going to be a tough one."

"But we can't just keep her in the dark. Right now she's the closest person to Dr. Wells. She's quite literally sleeping with the enemy," Cisco made a good argument.

"I'll give her a call," Barry promised. "We're gonna need her on board with this anyway. Maybe she can even help us. You're right—she is the closest person to Wells."

"Just be careful, please," Caitlin warned before he dialed Rachel's number. "The last thing I want is to see her get hurt, and by hurt now—I mean physically. We have to be extremely cautious about how we proceed. We cannot trust Dr. Wells that he even truly cares about her, since he seemed to care about all of us, and look where it got us…"

Rachel was a bit intrigued, but also a little taken aback when Barry called her and asked her to meet him at his lab at the precinct. Out of all the places he might want to see her in, this was the strangest pick, since it wasn't as though she could actually use her powers to help him with a case. Then again, even if she could, she wasn't sure he deserved anything from her at the moment, as he'd been ditching her calls and messages for days. She'd liked to believe they'd been closer than this, that they'd been becoming good friends; therefore, she really couldn't understand why he'd started acting like this so suddenly. Then, there were also Caitlin and Cisco—both with a lot on their plates when working at the Labs—but at the same time, it was absolutely out of character for them to keep ignoring her.

She received her surprise when she showed up at the appointed time and place, and found not only Barry there, but also the other two.

"Um… hi," she said, a little unsure of what was happening. "What's with the gathering? Why couldn't we just meet at S.T.A.R. Labs?"

"Hi, Rachel, listen…" Barry started heavily, getting up from his perched position on the edge of his desk and immediately running his hands through his hair in a nervous gesture.

"What's wrong?" She could already feel it coming, though she had no way of guessing what it was just yet—for now, having a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach, a foreboding of something absolutely catastrophic happening, throwing her off her axis and causing her entire world to spin. What could possibly be so difficult to say? What could possibly be the reason why the three of them had been avoiding her recently? What did they all have in common...? "You're scaring me... What is it?" Rachel tried again, her body starting to tremble.

"There's something we have to tell you, and it's not going to be easy. It's been extremely hard on all of us, and… and you also deserve to know."

"Is Harrison okay? But then, if there was an emergency, the hospital would call me… or… or you'd say that right away, right? Is he okay?!" she started to panic.

"He's more than okay," Barry responded slowly, causing Rachel to frown for a change.

"Barry, please, just tell me what's going on…"

"You might want to sit down first." Caitlin offered her a chair, but the other woman ignored her.

"Guys, you'd better tell me right now, or I swear…" she threatened, growing pale.

"Harrison Wells is the Reverse Flash, Rachel," Barry finally did, done sugarcoating, done stalling. There was never going to be an easy way to say this anyway.

A long silence followed his reveal during which Rachel was left speechless, her mind going completely blank, until…

"You're kidding me, right? Guys?! Right?!" She looked around in desperation, but no one was laughing. "Guys, don't you think that if this was true, I'd notice?! I basically live with the man!"

"And he never seemed distant to you, or lied to you, saying that he was at work when we were all already done with it? Long hours in the office? Sometimes even nights? Strange disappearances?" Barry prompted. "In fact, I recall you telling me once that he was working late the other night, and I was surprised, because that day we actually finished pretty early, with no crisis in sight."

Rachel went silent again, not capable of thinking anymore. The shock refused to leave her body—quite the contrary, actually—it was only getting worse.

"But… but he's in a wheelchair," she stated the obvious. "He can't possibly be a speedster."

"That's something we still need to figure out," Cisco agreed gently. "Whether his wheelchair's just for show, or there's more to it, but…"

"What are you talking about?!" This time, she raised her voice, not able to take it anymore. "Guys! You're talking to Harrison's actual girlfriend! We sleep together! Don't you think I'd fucking notice if his legs actually moved?!"

"Like I said… there's probably more to it…" Cisco repeated, his voice very cautious and growing silent.

"Rachel…" Barry took a step forward, his hands reaching out to her, but she moved back, tears filling her eyes.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "No. This isn't possible."

"We found his secret room at the Labs and the Reverse Flash suit in it," he provided the information slowly. "I can even take you there if you want me to. You can see it with your own eyes. And… there's more..."

"More?! What more could you possibly have?! You caught him on tape?!"

She was shaking, tears had started to flood her face, her heart was beating way too fast, and she felt like she was also hyperventilating. Yet, her brain still denied everything she'd heard. It denied that her friends wouldn't joke about something like this. Not to her. If they were so sure, they had to have solid proof…

"Detective West and I... we took a trip to Star City," Cisco was the one who continued now. "It's where D. Wells originally came from. We found a body exactly where an accident happened many years ago. The very accident that killed the woman he loved back then. And this body was Harrison Wells's."

"What… what are you saying?" Rachel kept shaking her head, not really wanting to hear more, every next word assaulting her, slashing a new wound open.

"It means that the man we think is Dr. Wells is in fact someone else—probably pretending to be him. He must've killed him and Tess Morgan, the girlfriend; and then taken over his identity," Caitlin explained and Rachel felt as though the ground had just disappeared from underneath her feet. Like she'd just lost everything. The man she loved, the man she shared her life with… all the signs… their recent troubles… all of that…

"Whoa!" Barry gasped, spotting her losing her balance and nearly tumbling to the floor before he caught her, helping her over to the chair Caitlin had previously offered. "Easy there, easy… Guys, we need some water over here."

Rachel was crying.

She hadn't noticed her hands clenching over Barry's arms when he helped her, so she let go of him.

"I… I… I can't… I…" She couldn't even form a coherent sentence; stress and grief and fear and all kinds of feelings no one ever wanted to feel, overwhelmed her.

The water she'd been offered was quickly drained, but it didn't make her feel better.

To be honest, she wasn't sure anything could.

"Rachel… when you had that weird feeling I was in danger…" Cisco started slowly, "was Dr. Wells involved as well?"

"No… I mean…" She frowned, her hand going up to her head. "I don't think so… but I'm very confused about that. It felt so… so out of whack."

"I'm asking because I've been having crazy dreams ever since. Only they don't really seem like dreams… they're more real than that. Dr. Wells… he… he killed me… but it couldn't have happened, because obviously, I'm not dead."

"Actually…" Barry started carefully, "I accidentally ran back to the past and definitely changed something about the future. Caitlin…" he then realized with a gasp, "right before I did… you… you called me, saying something about Dr. Wells. You seemed very panicked, but I told you I was too busy. Central City was about to be destroyed…"

"Wait, are you saying what I think you're saying?!" Cisco's eyes opened wide. "Are you saying that Dr. Wells actually did… kill me?!"

"I… I had the vision of the Reverse Flash when he was actually near me," Rachel realized, still sobbing. "I never… I never connected… Oh!" She put both of her hands to her head, clearly struck with a horrible headache, her eyes shutting.

"Rachel?" Barry asked slowly, quietly, concern clear in his voice.

"You… you were right... I saw him. I saw him in the suit, but without the mask. Harrison… Harrison is the Reverse Flash," she barely managed to utter. "Why… Why didn't he do anything to me, then?" she followed with another thought. "He knew about my powers. He must've realized that, sooner or later, I'd see him. Yet, he never hurt me. That doesn't make any sense, does it?"

"Don't be fooled. I think you were too emotionally involved to truly see him for who he was. You simply didn't want to. Besides, your powers haven't fully developed yet. He must've known that he still had time," Caitlin tried to come up with a plausible enough explanation.

"But… but what do I do now?" Rachel asked in such a devastatingly sad and helpless voice that something deep inside Barry stirred, and he wanted nothing more than to go over to her and take her into his arms. Only, he knew it wouldn't make her feel any better.

"What we all do," he said instead. "We find out what memory Cisco repressed, what happened in that timeline, and we take it from there. We need to set a trap."

"Keep Rachel out of it," Caitlin spoke loud and clear when moving to her friend, who was still sitting in the chair. She put her hands on Rachel's shoulders from behind, offering some modicum of comfort and protection. "She's too vulnerable right now. We can't ask her for help. We don't even know whether Dr. Wells truly cares for her. We thought he cared about all of us, and look at the mess we're in now."

"That's… that's not comforting at all... The one man I was serious about, the one man I actually imagined my future with… Oh god…" Rachel hid her face in her hands. "I stood by him all this time… paralyzed… defamed… I was there through it all, and… and he…"

She couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, and had, in fact, been crying for hours to no end, and everything hurt—by now, even her physical body, not just her heart.

Rachel hadn't actually left Barry's lab yet, in fear for her own safety, in fear that she would never be a good enough actress to pretend in front of Harrison after finding out his secret. Even if she were a born liar—which she wasn't, with her skills only extending to good storytelling—she was currently in a whirlwind of emotions and not capable of calming down.

And that should be okay. After all, it wasn't as though a person found out every day that the man they loved and with whom they shared a life with was a cold-blooded killer who'd been pretending for god knew how long to be their friend, mentor, and—in her case—lover. No one would be fine after something like that. She wasn't even sure if she would ever be okay again. Would she, from now on, always see betrayal? Would she always be wary of men? The only people she could trust one hundred percent were the members of team Flash, and that was it.

Would she even be able to lead a normal life after this? Ever since Harrison had appeared in the picture, she'd gained powers she'd rather not have and found out so many secrets she needed to keep that having a normal relationship with a normal human being seemed less and less possible with every passing day. Even if she could tell him… she would never have the guarantee that she could actually trust him.

All because she had fully believed she could trust Harrison Wells. She'd thought she knew him. Well—apparently not.

Rachel's frantic thoughts and constant sobbing were interrupted by her phone ringing.

She quite literally choked on her tears once she saw the caller ID—fear immediately taking the reigns over her body, as she was experiencing too many borderline emotions all at once.

"What's wrong?" Barry asked, clearly noticing her distress, while Cisco and Caitlin were discussing something scientific. If Rachel understood it correctly, they wanted to find a way to regain the memories Cisco had lost when Barry had traveled back in time, accidentally saving his life in the process.

"It's…" was all she managed to utter, but she didn't have to add anything else, as Barry spotted Harrison Wells's name on the screen. "I can't… I just can't…" She kept watching the phone ring until it finally stopped. "What if he's suspicious?" she then asked her friend, looking up at him with big, red eyes from crying.

"Not so fast. Do you always immediately pick up?"

"Actually, no. Sometimes I don't even realize someone's calling me."

"Then it should be fine for the time being. We can worry about it later. He won't get suspicious right away. Would you… would you maybe want to stay at Joe's?" Barry suddenly offered. "I'm living with him again now that Iris has moved in with Eddie. Her room is empty. You'll be safe there."

Rachel nodded, grateful for the offer, since she had absolutely no idea what to do or where to go next. She still did have her own apartment, but Harrison could easily find her there. It wasn't as though he couldn't at Detective West's house, but it wasn't such a close call and, after all, the Flash lived there as well now.

She couldn't help but go back in her mind to how they'd met... Harrison had always been reserved and distanced. Maybe that alone made her want him even more—and yet, somehow, he wanted her back, being the one to call her, the one to offer her a date. In fact, he pursued her relentlessly until she stopped feeling so intimidated in his company, their very first kiss demanding and intense. He was a man who took what he wanted, and it wasn't as though she wasn't willing. She wanted him back, and just as much. She thought it was simply who he was and how he carried himself. Besides, no one had ever made her feel like this before. No one had awakened such a desire in her that literally caused her to tremble, to need him close and inside her and all over her—he did. And it consumed her whole. It didn't take long for them to succumb to those urges, for him to seduce her. It felt like everything she'd been waiting for—a man who knew exactly how to touch her and how to make her crazy. She could still remember how it felt—the taste of his lips, the feel of his body pressing against hers, his hardness teasing and teasing until he found his way inside, filling her in a delicious stroke and only making it better and better until they were both spent, yet wanted to do it all over again…

Now, however, she felt sick. He'd never told her he loved her, and again—she'd thought he was a man of actions rather than words, and those actions had spoken loud and clear. He'd given her so much attention and passion that she'd been sure he'd loved her; he just couldn't say it or had found it unnecessary...

"Are you…?" Barry's question stopped her from further reminiscing. He shook his head instead of finishing, and followed with, "I'm sorry. I guess asking you whether you're okay is pointless. Because of course you're not. I just… Rachel, I… I'm so, so sorry that you have to go through this, and I want you to know that I'm here for you. Whatever you need, whenever… I'm there, okay? Same goes for Caitlin and Cisco, and even Joe and Iris."

She would actually laugh at the mention of Iris, if only she had it in her.

"I don't think Iris likes me very much," she pointed out.

"Of course she does, or… would, if she got to know you better. You're an amazing person."

"And yet…" Rachel started, spreading her hands hopelessly while pursing her lips, her eyes still horribly red and swollen, her voice hoarse from crying, "I've been duped. By a man. How typical."

"People in this world have a habit of taking advantage of good hearts," Barry told her. "And don't forget that he's the very same man who killed my mother and put my father in prison. He deceived us all."

In response, Rachel hid her face in her hands.

"I'm sorry… probably shouldn't have reminded you of that."

"No, no… it's fine. Remind away. I need it to sink in. The man I thought loved me, in fact, probably never did and just used us all—me and you worst of all…" (Oh, if they only knew how much that was true, someone thought. Someone watching).

"Well, whatever happened... whatever is still going to happen… I can promise you that you'll never face it alone," Barry assured her, and all she could do was nod at him, her voice caught in her throat.

"Okay, we have a great idea for how to restore Cisco's lost memories from the other timeline," Caitlin came over with the news. She was shaken up and felt horribly betrayed as well, but she was also excited about what they'd come up with. "We can finally get one step ahead of him. We just need to grab a few things from the Labs first."

"Do you need a ride?" Barry offered.

"That would be good, maybe... or you could just bring what we need after I describe it to you. We shouldn't risk him finding out. If you see him or he calls any one of us, we'll just say we're taking some time off. It would be well-deserved, after all. We set up shop here, and we get to the bottom of this."

Eobard Thawne… Eobard Thawne…

He wasn't even really Harrison Wells—something Rachel had already known, but somehow hearing his true name from Cisco, while he was immersed in his terrifying memories, made it all that much more real. She'd spent over a year in an intimate relationship with a… stranger. A man who'd somehow traveled to their timeline from the future, killed Barry's mother, killed the real Harrison Wells and his girlfriend, stolen his identity, and… made sure Barry became the Flash.

What was his ultimate goal? Why was he even helping Barry and the team? Did he want to infiltrate the Flash's life and destroy everything he loved? Was death not enough for him? And if that was not the case, then what was?

For now, they had poor and traumatized Cisco to take care of. Cisco who almost suffered a stroke—the memories he'd regained so horrendous and traumatic for him that his body had almost given up. How many more people would Harrison—or rather Eobard—kill? Cisco's life—a trusted friend's and employee's—apparently meant nothing to him. Did that mean Rachel could be next? Was she just a meaningless toy for Thawne's pastime? Or did he need her powers for something?

In the end, it was Cisco who actually came up with a good trap idea, and they could only hope to succeed in getting the Reverse Flash to confess to murdering Nora Allen and in apprehending him. Barry didn't want Rachel to be present, but she wouldn't just stay put. She was terrified and heartbroken, yes, but she'd rather be with the rest of the team and hear everything this murderer had to say. She had to.

And yet, all this time, he truly was…

"…one step ahead," Wells was just saying, having convinced a shapeshifter they'd kept in prison to morph into him, dangling a carrot of freedom in front of him, if only everything went well.

The betrayal stung even more once they realized he'd been watching them, that they'd never really had the advantage, and that he'd always been in control and could've hurt them at any time he wished. Yet, so far, he hadn't, clearly needing them for something.

Rachel was there with Barry, Caitlin, Cisco, Joe, and Eddie, finally hearing the truth coming from Harrison's mouth—or at least a part of it—and yet, she couldn't speak up. She found herself unable to say a word, just standing there frozen in place, her emotions in such an overdrive that a strange numbness began washing over her.

"You ruined our lives!" Barry screamed in anger, and she couldn't blame him for it. It was all true, and the Reverse Flash escaped yet again.

"Quite the contrary! I made you!" Eobard Thawne argued. "I made you more than you were and more than you were ever going to be! I found you and hired you, gave you the tools necessary for your development. I shaped your minds! I created the Flash! Even you, Rachel…" he addressed her all of a sudden, and a cold shiver ran down her back. Her body must've trembled as well, because Barry made a gesture to shield her as though from an invisible enemy. "How are you enjoying your career as a writer?"

She didn't speak a word to him. He was long gone before she even managed to take a breath and find her tongue. Truth be told, she wouldn't even know what to say. He'd used to be the first number on her list of people to call. She'd been prepared to spend her entire life with him. What did one even do when someone they'd always associated with love had turned out to be a fraud, when what had used to awaken tenderness and affection now only attracted fear? How terrifyingly fast things could change, proving that one could never truly be sure whether they could trust someone—that it was, indeed, always going to be a huge leap of faith.

At least now that Harrison disappeared, it was safe for Rachel to be in the Labs again, as Cisco tightened the security. Yes, if Thawne really wanted to get to them, he would, but it seemed like he either needed them alive, or their deaths wouldn't benefit him at the moment—both of which were not very comforting ideas.

In the end, they couldn't hide, anyway, since he knew all their secrets. They could only find a way to fight him, and they would gladly work on that if it wasn't for the shooting that had just happened in the city, forcing Barry to speed over there and save lives.

However, they didn't expect him somehow getting mentally whammied and—what was strange—right after they heard him scream over the comms, Rachel screamed as well.

A sudden wave of pain came out of nowhere and hit her head—hundreds of needles stabbing and stabbing and stabbing, sending her mental images that made absolutely no sense.

And then, she saw Barry.

By now, he was screaming both over the comms and in her head, the only difference being that once the real one stopped, the other one continued, being literally ripped to shreds. It was pure agony, and for a moment, Rachel could feel it, too.

"What's happening to her?!" she heard the real Barry yell in the cortex now, clearly having come back. "What's wrong with her?! Is she having a vision?!"

"I have no idea! She started the moment you did," Caitlin explained, baffled and concerned. "Only she never stopped," she added.

Rachel shook her head, trying to rid herself of the terrifying mental images of Barry being ripped to shreds, his scream never ceasing. She pressed her hands to her temples, starting to panic. This vision didn't want to let go. In fact, it didn't seem like a normal one, either.

"Caitlin, do something!" Both Cisco and Barry seemed to call out to the doctor at the same time, and eventually, Rachel felt the stab of a needle, and then everything went black…

Once she opened her eyes, she felt a little woozy, as though she'd been under for quite some time, and it hadn't exactly been normal sleep.

The lab cot she was lying on and the surroundings pointed to S.T.A.R. Labs, and... it all came rushing back to her. Caitlin must've sedated her due to the enormous pain she'd been in. Was it because of her powers? If so, she was in for quite a miserable future, she thought morosely, unprepared to deal with any of it.

"Rachel!" she heard Cisco calling her name and then saw both him and Caitlin through a glass wall of the small lab adjacent to the cortex.

She carefully got to her feet, making sure she was steady enough, and then, she finally made her way to her friends.

"What happened? Where's Barry?" she asked, clearly noticing the other man's absence.

"First, don't worry. That pain you felt back there—that was a psychic attack from a supergorilla called Grodd," Cisco quickly provided the information.

"Come again?" She raised her eyebrows high upon hearing that. "The what now?" Still, it was indeed a much better explanation than her powers growing stronger.

"We will explain everything later... It seems that the connection you had with him was extra strong—maybe because you're both so psychically tuned… But I still can't figure out why you were even affected in the first place… It has to have something to do with Barry… He was, after all, the first meta you saw in your vision, so maybe you guys are somehow linked… We gotta check up on that. Anyways, Barry's in trouble now. He's fighting that gorilla, and everything went to hell as…"

"I swear, Cisco, if you mention another movie, I'll hit you!" Caitlin threatened, focused on one of the screens. "Barry needs help! We're losing him! Grodd's in his head!"

Rachel had no idea what actually prompted her to do it, but she marched straight toward the computer station and got to the microphone, speaking directly to the speedster, "Barry? Do you hear me? Barry? It's Rachel. I just woke up, and I'm okay. But I'm afraid you won't be if you don't focus. Don't let him take over your mind. You're stronger than this, Barry. You can do this! Fight him! Fight him and come home! I need you, Barry. We need you!" She winced at the memory of the horrible images Grodd had managed to put in her head before, still not understanding how it'd happened at such a distance. Could it somehow be that the Reverse Flash had told him to? Were those two connected? There had once been a gorilla in the Labs...

Anyway, there were more pressing matters at hand—they couldn't let Barry die. She couldn't lose him after she'd already lost Harrison—or rather, the man she'd thought she knew. Either way, he was dead to her.

Luckily, Barry seemed to have listened to her, and he'd snapped out of the attack, immediately coming back to the Labs but without the gorilla in tow.

"Are you really okay?" was the first thing leaving his mouth as he purposefully moved toward her, his hands resting on her shoulders, his eyes examining her closely. "Is it over?" he made sure.

"Yes, I'm fine," she confirmed, a little taken aback by the care.

"I wish I'd caught him. I can't let him do this to you again. As long as he's out there…"

"He was a distraction sent by Thawne, so I think we're safe for now. We will eventually catch him," Cisco tried to comfort them both.

Barry glanced at Rachel one more time before he turned away, and she felt a bit uncomfortable under that careful scrutiny. Or maybe it was something else—something in his eyes that she either couldn't or didn't want to decipher. Not now. Not yet. The vision—however fake it might've been—of him dying, wasn't helping. It was just all too much—too many emotions in the span of the past twenty-four plus hours, and she was in desperate need of some rest.

Rachel needed some time for herself to recuperate; therefore, she went home to her own apartment, by now so exhausted that even fear and heartbreak couldn't keep her awake, as she simply collapsed into bed, immediately falling asleep.

It was good for her—both her mind and body clearly decided to shut down, since it was way too much at once. Deep down inside, she knew that the way to healing would be long and painful, and she couldn't even be sure if there would ever come a day when she would not be wary of trusting someone again.

She woke up a whole thirteen hours later, shocked that she'd slept so long, but it wasn't as though she hadn't needed it. When checking her phone, she spotted many messages from the team at the Labs. The first few were from Caitlin, who wanted to talk to her about something important, and from Cisco, informing her about the mystery of the wheelchair he'd solved. Apparently, it wasn't just for show, as there was a complicated futuristic device hidden in it, on which Eobard Thawne could charge himself. At least Rachel didn't need to think that she'd been stupid and he so in control of his body while they'd been together—he really had been running out of his speed, and the theory was that he'd kept on losing the feeling in his lower body due to using too much of it and constantly depleting.

The next few messages came from Barry, telling her that Thawne had been hiding in the pipeline this entire time and had also kept Eddie there after kidnapping the man. Currently, the first had disappeared, and the second, now being rescued, was safely back home with Iris. It wasn't the end of the news, though, as apparently the Reverse Flash had activated the particle accelerator, and it was going to explode again. During the time Rachel had been sleeping, the team had been trying to find a way to transport the metas they'd kept in the pipeline. At one point, Caitlin and Barry had gotten worried that she hadn't been responding, and she gathered from the rest of the messages that Barry had popped in very shortly to check up on her, but found her dead asleep, so he'd left her be. She didn't even feel like her privacy had been invaded. Quite the contrary—she understood perfectly why they would be worried, and actually felt a little bit warmer in her chest knowing that they'd come to such great lengths to make sure she was okay. She texted them that she would take the day for herself, since they were busy with the metas anyway, and that if anything came up, they should just let her know.

As hours kept passing by, Rachel found that she couldn't really focus on anything or do anything productive. Many times, she caught herself drifting off in her mind and staring far ahead with unseeing eyes, some kind of fog clouding her vision. Time flew so fast, she didn't even notice when it suddenly became evening, and she grew tired again, yet couldn't go to sleep, since her rumbling belly reminded her that she hadn't exactly eaten anything. She also had no idea where to go from here or what to do with herself. Hopefully, Barry would soon deal with his enemy, and they would all cease to live in fear, but then—what? She couldn't imagine her future anymore—it was a blank, dark canvas of the unknown…

The next time Rachel opened her eyes, she suddenly gasped, having just had a nightmare about the Reverse Flash lurking outside her window. Her heart was pounding like crazy when she shakily got to her feet and ran there to check for herself, but she saw no one. Still, she couldn't be sure whether she'd really dreamt it or somehow felt his presence, as he—while being a speedster—could easily disappear before she even managed to spot him.

She hugged herself as she glanced at the sleepy city, and then she closed the curtains as if they could shield her somehow. She knew they couldn't, and that the only way to even begin feeling a little bit of peace was to get rid of her… what? Ex-boyfriend? They'd never officially broken up, but surely the relationship was over the moment she'd found out who he really was—or rather, who he wasn't.

After deciding that she probably wouldn't be able to get more sleep that night anyway, she dressed before going to the Labs. Then, suddenly, her head felt as if it were lit on fire, the pain striking hard, bringing a vision along—one so terrifying that she had the urge to scream, but in the end, all she managed to do was shed a few tears.

Not for herself.

Not even for Eobard.

For Barry.

The vision she'd had while he'd been attacked by Grodd wasn't just an imposed nightmare—it was a real one. Rachel still couldn't explain why it hadn't stopped the moment Barry had been released from Grodd's influence, but it was real all the same—sometime in the future, Barry was going to die.

After everything she'd been through so far, after everything she'd already lost—she couldn't, wouldn't, handle losing him as well. Not him. She refused to even dwell on it and the feelings it brought, because she knew she would never be able to handle them properly.

Just then, she saw a new text message from Caitlin, again asking whether Rachel had time to meet up and talk.

The Jitters barely opened when they met up there, the staff a bit groggy from getting up early. The lack of any other guests and the view of the city still covered in a dreamy overnight mist made for a cozy and intimate atmosphere.

For some reason, Caitlin acted very nervously around Rachel, and it absolutely baffled the writer, as she couldn't really decipher why that was. She had half a mind to advise her to get a decaf coffee, since Cait already seemed so wide awake and bothered.

"Are you okay?" Rachel asked the moment they took a faraway table by the window to ensure privacy, a few early birds now finally spilling into the shop through the open door, letting some of the chilly air in.

"I… I'm not really sure," came the quite shaky response as her friend began warming her hands over the cup of coffee she was holding. "There's…" she hesitated. "Listen, there's something I should've told you a while ago, but…" the doctor came to a stop once again, now biting her lip. "I didn't tell you because maybe it wasn't the best idea back then," she continued carefully. "It didn't mean anything, and it would only bring on trouble or… or pain…"

"Caitlin, you're starting to scare me," Rachel admitted, feeling that she couldn't possibly handle any more bad news. Eobard Thawne… Barry's fate… it was all way too much and ready to send her over the edge. And quite frankly—she wasn't sure she could ever recover if the dominoes finally began to fall.

"When you and Harrison started dating…" Cait went on, "um... there was more to my… um... weird behavior around you than you might think."

"What do you mean?" Rachel frowned, not following at all.

"I wasn't just busy... It wasn't just that I had a lot on my plate... I was actually deliberately avoiding you, and I let our friendship die... And then, when you started coming to the Labs, I always made sure to be busy enough not to see you... And... and I never told you the real reason... I... I wouldn't dare."

"Wait... Do you... Do you not like me or something? Have I ever done anything to offend you, or...?" the other woman paled, feeling like the ground was disappearing out from under her feet yet once again.

"No!" Caitlin quickly denied, her eyes opening wide. "God, no! Please, don't ever think that! I love you like my own sister!"

"Well, then what is it? I just don't understand."

Here, Caitlin took a deep breath before blurting out, "I've been sleeping with him before you guys met."

Sudden silence fell while Rachel was processing what she'd just heard. And she couldn't. It didn't seem to fully register in her brain, because her mouth opened and nothing but a shocked, "What?!" came out.

"He never cheated on you," Cait went on quickly, clearly avoiding her friend's eyes. "I would never, ever, do something like that to you. I need you to know that. It's just that... that he recruited me and… and he was all tall and dark and handsome and eloquent and so, so smart. Of course, I had a huge crush on him... He was the Harrison Wells... at least I thought he was…" She sighed heavily, briefly squeezing her eyes shut. "I used to come to his office in the evenings when everyone else had gone home and let him… um…" her voice trailed off significantly.

"...Take you on his desk? Or against it?" Rachel felt like she was about to throw up when she guessed that, the coffee tasting sour in her mouth. She set her cup back on the table, her hands shaking.

"Rachel, I am so, so sorry. The thing is… I was young, just having fun after I got the job of my dreams, and I was... ah, who am I kidding?! It was absolutely reckless and completely unethical to sleep with my boss…" Caitlin hid her face in her hands as memories of Dr. Wells—who wasn't even the real Dr. Wells!—holding her breasts and taking her hard and fast from behind assaulted her already tortured brain. "Then I met Ronnie, and my entire world shifted, and I found myself falling for him so easily and so fast… So I stopped coming to Dr. Wells's office, and… well, shortly after that, he met you and pursued you so relentlessly… I actually never saw him like this. I never thought he could… care so much about someone… That alone was the reason I never wanted you to know. I just didn't want to destroy what you two had. You… you made him happy, Rachel. And I know... I know how horrible and weird this sound now that we know the whole truth about him, but…"

"I… I don't really know what to say or how to even react to all of this," Rachel finally admitted, feeling her eyes tearing up. "I guess none of this matters now, does it?"

"I guess not. I don't know. I'm just…"

"Please, stop saying you're sorry. I already know that. And yes, I know there was never any cheating involved. It's just..." Rachel sighed. "It's all fucked up, is what it is."

At that very moment, both of their phones beeped—it was a message from Cisco.

They had Wells. They had the Reverse Flash.

It was their move now.

He was right there, kept in the pipeline, ready to have a conversation face to face, ready to maybe give her all the answers she wanted or might need from him. Still, she couldn't possibly do it. She couldn't bring herself to go there and talk to him. It was all too much. Whenever she imagined herself standing in front of him, her mind went blank, and she started hyperventilating. And if she really went to talk to him, there would be no room for any kind of weakness. She would have to hold her ground, as she couldn't break. And she knew that, right now, she just wasn't strong enough. Therefore, she chose to avoid him instead, gladly letting Barry in first, since he was the one who deserved the answers to all the whys—he needed to get his father out of prison.

"Come on, Barry, ask it," Eobard Thawne—in the body of the late Harrison Wells—encouraged, standing face to face with the younger man, with only a glass wall of the pipeline prison separating them.

"Why did you kill my mother?"

The Reverse Flash was right. There was no time for platitudes. They'd been doing this dance long enough.

"Because I hate you," came the simple and emotionless answer. "Not you now. You years from now."

"In the future."

"In the future. Yes," Thawne confirmed with a nod. "We're enemies, rivals, opposites, reverses of one another…" He proceeded to explain how he'd killed Nora Allen out of revenge when he couldn't kill little Barry, and then how he'd gotten stuck in the past and—oh, the irony!—needed to create the Flash and mentor him so he would get faster and faster, eventually making it possible for Eobard to get back home. The more words flew from his mouth, the more disgusted Barry felt, the more hatred coursed straight through him, especially once Thawne got to the part in which he voiced how proud he was of the younger man and how he understood Joe and Henry now—that was too much; that was psychotic.

"What about Rachel?" the Flash finally asked, already done listening, yet still pushing.

Rachel was so traumatized that she couldn't even face the man, and Barry didn't know which crime was worse—or maybe they were both just as bad, only in different ways. Thawne had killed his mother and ruined his life, and he'd also seduced Rachel while lying to her and using her this entire time. In fact, he'd used them all.

"What about her?" the Reverse Flash had the audacity to query.

"Why her? You can't honestly tell me that you truly love her. A man like you cannot possibly be capable of love."

Thawne chuckled, and Barry wasn't sure whether it was only to spite him or provoke him some more.

"You know very well why," came the ambiguous answer. "Deep down inside, you know. I hate you, Barry," he emphasized, stepping closer to his side of the glass wall. "All I do, all I have ever done, is hurt you… Still, I can give you a chance to actually save your mother. All I need in return is your help getting me back home."

"No! That's absolutely out of the question! We cannot aid and abet a criminal like Thawne! He needs to pay for what he's done, and going back in time, opening this whole…" Joe came to a startled stop, desperately looking for the right word in all his anger.

"Wormhole," Cisco provided helpfully.

"Yes—that! Doing all of this just to send him back to the future… that's… that's…" He stammered again, taking a deep breath. "What if something—or everything—goes wrong?"

"And what if I get to save my mom, Joe?" Barry asked the perfect question, looking at everyone present in the cortex. "We have the Reverse Flash, yes, but how are we going to prove that he really killed her? How are we going to get my dad out of prison? And what prison can even hold Thawne? We tried to save the metahumans we locked in the pipeline, and now they're out there, wreaking havoc yet again! Yes, he killed my mother, but I can actually undo it. Let him go back to where he belongs, to the future. It would make all of our lives better. It would be like it never happened. Caitlin… Ronnie… you'll get to have your happy ending without any tragedies. Rachel…" Barry turned to address her now, "you would never have to get hurt by him, because he wouldn't be there to hurt you in the first place."

The Flash's last sentence hung in the air between them, and quite frankly, Rachel had no idea what to think of that or how she even felt about it. At this point, it was difficult for her to imagine going on—not to mention the impossible idea of undoing the past. It was something taken straight from books or movies—a pure fantasy, not something that actually happened. Then again, she'd just had a horrible vision of Barry dying sometime in the future—worse, of being ripped to shreds while screaming in agony. Maybe this way he could live. Maybe this way he would get to survive as well.

Yet, despite it all, she still felt like it was a crazy idea in a pile of things she already needed to deal with, and she had to retreat for a moment and think.

She didn't foresee Barry following shortly after she closed the door to the small adjacent lab she'd disappeared to.

He didn't say anything. He just walked over to her and sat in a chair next to her.

"Isn't it crazy…" she was the one who eventually spoke, "that I really do want to rid myself of this betrayal, of… of him, but at the same time, I am terrified of the change? I have no idea, no way of knowing who I am going to be and how my life will go if you change things… I mean, I don't have it now either, after everything that happened, but at least I have you, guys."

"Who knows," Barry started in a soft voice, "maybe you'll get to meet the real Harrison Wells."

"Do you think I'm still going to meet you?" she suddenly asked, finally looking up at him and into his eyes.

"Maybe," he answered, his voice a bit hoarse, almost revealing what he really wanted to say.

However, something was reflected in his eyes, though Rachel still couldn't decipher it—or she didn't want to—and she needed to look away, closing her own briefly, as she was being immediately tortured by the vision she'd had. This must be the way to save him, she told herself. It could also save her, as she wouldn't need to worry about getting powers she'd never asked for; powers that were more of a curse than a blessing.

"Do it, Barry," she encouraged confidently before rising from her seat.

"Would you like to…" he stopped, hesitating, but then he finished anyway, "talk to him? Before…?" he hinted.

"No. I can't do this. I just can't face him."

Was there even anything left to say? And, just maybe, her absence would actually speak more than her presence.

In the end, nothing happened as planned.

Barry went into the wormhole, and Rachel watched from the safety of the cortex as Eobard Thawne, in his Reverse Flash suit, prepared himself for the journey when… the Flash was suddenly back, clearly having changed his mind and deciding to defeat his enemy instead.

That started a series of events that only led to more tragedy…

Caitlin and Ronnie barely managed to shut the particle accelerator down while the Flash and Reverse Flash battled each other. At the sight of the clear advantage the Man in Yellow had, Rachel forgot about her own safety and ran straight to the pipeline, desperate to help, even though she had no idea how.

She would have been too late anyway if it hadn't been for Eddie, who… turned his own gun against himself, taking his life and causing the Reverse Flash to let Barry go just before the younger speedster was killed.

At the moment, all Rachel could do was stand still and stare as the face she had loved, touched, and kissed transformed right in front of her eyes, until she was looking at the real Eobard Thawne—a man so different from Harrison Wells that it was shocking. Terrifying. Disturbing. It was a stranger—a stranger who had lived with her, who had made her believe he loved her.

She felt sick.

The worst part was that nothing was fixed. In the end, Barry hadn't really changed anything—they were all still there with the horrible memories of everything that had happened, and they'd lost Eddie, a good man and Iris's fiancé.

Yet, it still wasn't over, as the wormhole opened up again and Rachel barely managed to scream Barry's name when he rushed straight into danger without thinking it through. At that very moment, it hit her. It hit her why exactly she'd seen him dying in her vision, why it would happen sooner or later—because of this. He rushed into danger to save people simply because he could, because he had the powers to do so—powers he hadn't asked for—and that was who he was always going to be.

Sometime later

There was urgent knocking on Rachel's door, and once she opened it, she saw a tear-stricken Caitlin—Caitlin, her dear friend who'd lost Ronnie twice now. Only this time, he really was dead—killed while helping to close the wormhole.

"Rachel, I… I can't… I don't know how to… I…" the grieving woman was bawling, shaking all over, clearly in deep distress. "I see him everywhere!" she confessed as she stepped inside the apartment. "I see how he died! I see the life we could've had… Rachel, I can't do this! I can't take this pain anymore! I… I really do not know how to go on," she whispered through the tears streaming down her face.

"I don't either," Rachel admitted helplessly, remembering the Harrison Wells she'd lost and then the vision that was still haunting her dreams—Barry was going to be next. He was still alive, having survived the wormhole, but there was always going to be another crisis, and after Eddie and Ronnie, she couldn't bring herself to face more tragedies. She couldn't even bring herself to show up at the Labs anymore—it was all too much.

"I… I just… Please, take it away!" Caitlin begged, and she suddenly cupped her friend's face and… kissed her.

Rachel froze in shock, completely taken aback by the feel of the other woman's lips on hers. Then, she firmly placed her hands on Caitlin's wrists, moving her away and taking a step back herself. "Cait… you aren't thinking clearly. We're friends. And ruining this friendship will only make you feel worse." She was quite stunned, but she wouldn't call it a surprise—she'd wondered once or twice back in college whether her friend might've been bisexual.

"God... I'm so sorry," Caitlin apologized immediately, her eyes opening wide. She then walked over to Rachel's couch and sat down, hiding her face in her hands, her body shaking. "Don't you feel like you're going crazy, too? Like you don't know how to go on anymore? The man I loved, the one I was ready to marry… he's… he's dead. And for good this time. And the man you loved turned out to be a murderer and a liar."

Rachel had no good answer to that, except that yes, she could definitely relate, and yes, she had no idea how to go on either…

Caitlin screamed, opening her mouth wide as the stranger kept plunging into her in a dark alley behind the bar she used to frequent, driving her absolutely insane and making her come fast and hard.

In those days, it didn't matter who or where. All that mattered was reaching a temporary reprieve from the never-ending pain that was overwhelming her whole being. Countless nameless faces, nameless bodies... all meant to make her forget.

She felt comfortable, happy, and safe—and why wouldn't she, when she was lying in bed in the arms of the man she loved, her head placed right above his heart as she listened to its steady and strong beat.

On feeling his kiss, she looked up at him, meeting the radiant blue of his eyes…

Rachel woke up with a gasp and immediately put her hands on her face, because she'd had yet another dream of her being in a happy relationship with Harrison. It'd actually felt more like a memory than a dream, but then again, had he truly ever been so loving toward her, or was it just her wishful thinking…?

Not wasting any time in bed, she got up. Truth be told, in those days, she never slept for long, too eager to shed the haunting dreams in favor of welcoming the day, pushing the morose thoughts of betrayal and a broken heart away. She chose to bury herself in work instead, finally having the inspiration to write her next book. Rachel wasn't sure whether its topic was a good idea, but at the same time, it was what her heart wanted her to write—a way for her to cope with everything that had happened and would still have to happen—her own catharsis, her own outlet for the pain that would follow.

She hadn't been to the Labs for a while now, needing this time for herself, needing to stay away, and quite frankly, she might not return at all. Barry had tried. He'd really tried calling and texting, once even showing up to make sure everything was okay, but she'd honestly told him that she had to be alone, that he shouldn't come looking for her. What she hadn't told him was his fate, because she'd thought it would be rather cruel.

The only person she saw regularly was Caitlin, her best friend. One could say they kept each other sane, that they kept one another whole. Otherwise, they would both shatter after everything that had happened. Rachel couldn't stand being around anyone else in this dark period of her life, and most definitely not Barry, since that would only bring her more pain.

There were also two secrets she kept—even from Cait. Her visions—currently a bit less painful thanks to the doctor—very often showed her Cisco, which confirmed her suspicions that he was, indeed, a meta. Still, she ignored it. She couldn't come back to the Labs now—both she and Caitlin needed a long break, because things were just too painful for them.

Time flew, and the next few weeks brought interesting developments with a rally for the Flash and the mayor offering him the keys to the city. They weren't supposed to go, yet Cait confessed that she couldn't resist and went to see it during her lunch break. She had also been visited by Cisco, and a device he'd shown her had piqued her interest. Rachel teased her friend that she would be back at the Labs in no time if that was truly her calling, but she also assured her that it was all right. As long as Caitlin was happy, she was happy as well, though she kept postponing her own trip there further and further away—probably indefinitely.

The following afternoon, Caitlin called to inform Rachel that there was a tape Harrison Wells—or rather Eobard Thawne—had sent Barry with a message in case of his death. It turned out that he'd confessed to the murder of Nora Allen—all of it just proving how twisted the man had truly been. On one hand, he was a cold-blooded killer who hadn't hesitated to push his vibrating fist through Cisco's chest, and, on the other, he'd spent enough time with them all to form some kind of attachment.

"No matter what his motives were, Rachel, Henry can go free now. I thought maybe… that you maybe wanted to be there with us. And… um… if you would like to see the tape…" Caitlin offered hesitantly.

"No. I'm sorry, but I'm not ready," Rachel immediately refused, and shortly after that, she hung up, discovering that she'd started to shake.

There was one more thing she hadn't told Cait—it was regarding her vision about Barry himself. At the moment, she wasn't able to handle seeing Harrison's face on tape, just as much as she couldn't face Barry, knowing what would eventually have to happen.

As predicted, Caitlin was officially back working at S.T.A.R. Labs and, for the next few days—that easily stretched into entire weeks—she kept bringing news of what was happening. Yet, Rachel still refused to show up herself. The more time passed, the easier it actually was for her to stay away, finish her book, and send it to her editor.

That very same evening, Caitlin informed Rachel about the existence of the multiverse and the visitors from Earth they started calling Earth Two, which was a little too much for the young writer's mind at the moment, so the visit was postponed indefinitely, yet again. It caused Cait to seriously worry and ask what was wrong and whether Rachel needed anything, but there was truly no answer to give. The last thing she wanted was to lie, and telling the truth was out of the question as well. She didn't want her friend relaying to the team the real reason behind all of this—that Rachel simply couldn't, andwouldn't, handle the fact that Barry was apparently going to die, that she had no more tears to shed, and not enough whole pieces of her heart to shatter.

However, fate—as it always did—had slightly different plans. She refused to go see her friends, so she was made to.

It happened one evening when she was coming back from a dinner meeting with her agent, talking about her new book and where they would go from there.

At first, she wasn't sure what made her pay attention to the lonely, tall, and lean hooded figure—maybe it was her mind and the way it remembered so many details without her even consciously realizing it. Yes, following a man in the dark while being a woman—and alone at that—might not have been such a good idea, but she didn't think about safety at all, as her heart unwillingly fastened—her brain not able to recognize the emotions she was feeling as either curious excitement or plain fear.

And then, there was a sudden beeping sound coming from the stranger. He came to a stop, reaching for his wrist and turning the alarm—or whatever it was—off, while facing her and looking straight into her eyes.

He might be wearing a hoodie and it might be dark, but Rachel would recognize this pair of radiant blues just about anywhere.

"Harrison?" she gasped, her mouth opening wide at the sight of him.

He looked exactly the same—same body, same face, same eyes.

He didn't respond, but he also didn't leave. Then, he slowly reached for his hoodie and pulled it back, revealing the one thing that was different—his hairstyle—and, at the same time, making it possible for her to discern who he really was and what was happening.

"You're from Earth Two, aren't you?" she guessed.

He seemed intrigued upon hearing that.

"Earth… Two, you say?" Wells finally spoke in the very same voice she knew, yet its tone was gruff—he seemed irritated.

"The theory of the multi…"

"I am very familiar with that theory, thank you, and I dare say it's no longer just a theory, given that I'm here." He spread his arms wide to make a point. "I'm more intrigued by the fact that you seem to both know me and somehow… fear me? And yet, you followed me. Do you perhaps hold some deeper feelings somewhere in there regarding my person?"

Rachel was plain shocked by his highly insightful remark, but then again, he didn't seem like a man who would sugarcoat anything.

"I take it you're not a wanted murderer in your world?" she retorted, and, by the surprised look on his face, she realized that this time she was the one who had the upper hand. "Better be careful around here. Everyone knows who Harrison Wells was, and everyone hates him. A cop sees you, and you're a dead man," she warned.

He opened his mouth and then closed it.

"I know a place where we can help you, if only you're willing to trust me on this," she added, making an offer.

Yes, she would so be forced back into S.T.A.R. Labs just like Caitlin had been—Rachel guessed one couldn't really escape fate.

There was truly no bigger shock Rachel could bring to the team.

She approached the cortex, immediately seeing Barry, Caitlin, and Cisco there—the first man actually made her heart clench painfully in her chest, and the vision she'd had flashed back in her mind like a short movie she was unable to unsee, no matter how hard she tried.

Barry also happened to be the first to spot her, and she couldn't decipher the look on his face. Caitlin and Cisco, though, both smiled at her broadly.

"Hi, guys, um…" she started, unsure how to break the news.

"What are you doing here?" the Flash interrupted, and she flinched, sensing a wave of resentment coming from him.

"Um… I... I actually…" She clearly hadn't thought about how awkward it would be to just show up, and yet, not for the reason they had even expected.

"She brought me," a voice from behind her spoke, and Harrison Wells came into view.

Rachel wanted to curse under her breath. Revealing himself to them, especially with a speedster in the room and while looking exactly like the man who'd murdered said speedster's mother=bad idea.

"Wait!" she yelled to Barry, reacting as fast as she could and shifting directly in front of Harrison.

She was lucky she had the element of surprise and managed to move before Barry got over his shock and sped toward the man, ready to grab him. He did spot her trying to protect him with her own body, so he stopped.

"Who are you?!" he screamed at the newcomer from closer proximity now.

"I'm Doctor Harrison Wells," the older man slowly supplied, not at all fazed by the show Barry had just given him, "from Earth Two. And you're Barry Allen, the Flash of this world."

"How… how do you know who I am?!"

"I've been watching you ever since I came to this Earth. Needed to be sure."

"Sure of what?!"

"That you're nothing like the Flash from my Earth."

"You know Jay?" Caitlin asked.

"Great, Caitlin, great job there revealing the man's identity…"

"It's not a reveal. I've known who Jay Garrick is for quite some time."

"Let me guess, you're the villain to his hero?" Barry retorted.

"Not exactly."

Can I talk to you alone for a moment? never sounded so ominous.

Having listened to Harrison Wells from Earth Two—his manners leaving much to be desired and only making things more difficult for him—Barry wanted to have a word with Rachel.

She had no idea what to even tell him or how to make sense of all the emotions she was experiencing upon seeing him again after such a long time.

"We don't see you for… formonths, and when you finally show up, you bring him in here?!" The last few words he basically screamed, startling her.

"Barry, I'm sorry, but I had some things to deal with. I needed this time apart. I told you that."

"Oh, really?! And would you have come here tonight if you hadn't encountered Harrison Wells, the doppelganger of your dead boyfriend?!"

"That's just cruel." She folded her arms across her chest, feeling very uncomfortable, as though she needed to protect herself from Barry, of all people.

"You know, I tried everything. I gave you time. I tried being there for you. I tried honoring your wishes and keeping my distance…" he started, shaking his head while saying all of that, his expression betraying deep anguish, "and yet, you decided to just forget about us, your friends! And now you bring Harrison Wells here?! And he wants us to help him?!"

"Barry, I…" Rachel was truly at a loss for words, panicking now. She couldn't even comprehend what was happening, let alone respond properly.

"I needed you!" he screamed even louder, completely startling her, as distress deepened on his face. "I really needed you, but you weren't there! And now…" He came to a sudden stop and shook his head again, pretty much devastated, pain visible in his eyes. She'd hurt him. She'd really hurt him, and she didn't even know how much.

"Barry…" she started with a soft voice, absolutely surprised by what she witnessed.

"No. Forget it." He waved his hand at her and turned to the door on the other side of the room.

"Barry!" she called out after him and made to follow, but her powers chose the worst moment to strike.

There it was again—her seeing him die. Painfully. Horribly.

Rachel had to brace herself against the nearest wall and close her eyes, her face screwed up in pain as she waited for it all to stop. That right there was the very reason she hadn't visited yet. And she couldn't even tell him that.

"You want to tell me something?" she heard a voice she didn't expect just then.

The vision was luckily over, leaving a dull headache in its wake, when she turned around to see Harrison Wells, version 2.0, standing in the doorway.

Was he listening? She wondered, starting to panic once more.

"This," he showed her a very interesting watch he was wearing, "is a metahuman detector. It beeped when we met earlier tonight. You're a meta," he easily concluded.

"Hi. Patty?" Barry had just dialed the number of Officer Spivot, who was clearly into him. "I was thinking… Do you maybe want to go out with me?"

Rachel didn't have the slightest urge to talk to Harry—as Cisco had christened him in order to distinguish the man from the previous evil version of Harrison—about her powers. He was very curious, but she just shared the absolute basics and was ready to leave. This day had already been too much, and she craved retreating to the privacy of her apartment and letting everything settle in her mind. She was also happy she wasn't leaving the man homeless, since S.T.A.R. Labs had more than its fair share of rooms for one to stay in.

"For what it's worth," she suddenly heard Cisco say, as he came over to her, "I'm really glad you're back." He placed his hand briefly on her shoulder.

She smiled at him, somehow feeling happy about the fact as well. She hadn't truly realized how much she'd missed her friends until she actually saw them again. Then she instantly remembered the vision she'd had about the guy and wondered for a moment. In the end, she decided to stay quiet. Clearly, no one knew yet about Cisco's powers, and she would respect that.

Caitlin joined her on the way out, after shooting one last glance at the Wells addition to the team and frowning slightly.

"Yeah… I'm not sure how I feel about that either," Rachel admitted. "It's so surreal and… weird."

"Isn't it hard? To see the face of the man who broke your heart and betrayed us all? I'd think, for you and Barry, that would be the hardest part," Cait showed her concern.

"Maybe… I'm not really sure… The thing is…" Rachel started, slightly shaking her head while biting her lip. "The man I was with wasn't the Reverse Flash… Sometimes I wonder if he could truly act so well the entire time… The answer is probably yes, but for what? Why would he be with me? What could he possibly gain from it? Harrison Wells would never have had problems getting laid. That's too simple, too crude—that just can't be it," she said with conviction, her eyes narrowing as she thought.

"Something tells me you've already put a lot of thought into it with that writer brain of yours and… nothing."

"And nothing," she agreed with a nod and a shrug of her shoulders. "Still, this Wells… he looks the same, but somehow…"

"…doesn't exactly feel the same, does he? Like he's a twin brother and not the same person."

"Yeah… Besides, I have a bigger problem at the moment—Barry. I don't even know why my absence hit him so hard."

"Well…" Caitlin hesitated before finally settling for, "he really missed you and was doing his best to give you exactly what you needed, regardless of how he felt himself. That's just Barry. And then you only showed up because of Harrison Wells… Just give him time. I'm sure it'll all be all right in the end."

The next time Rachel walked into the cortex, still trying to get used to all the recent changes and surprises, she witnessed Jay Garrick and Harry Wells fighting—and they weren't only sparring with each other, but truly going for painful hits. Eventually, it was Barry who separated them, everyone present just as shocked as Rachel was now. Clearly, those two didn't like each other—or was that an understatement?

She didn't even have the chance to be introduced to the man—she could only assume it was, indeed, Jay Garrick, as Caitlin had described him well—since he stormed out in anger, yelling on his way out that he would not work with Wells.

Not seconds had passed when Rachel was hit with a vision, grasping her head and hissing in pain.

Oddly enough, the only person who seemed to notice was Harry Wells.

"Must suck, huh?" he threw her way without much empathy in his voice.

Rachel had just seen a very tall and very huge speedster in a black suit—it must've been the infamous Zoom.

"Barry, can I talk to you for…?" she started, moving in the man's direction, when he waved her off, murmuring that he had a date with Patty—whoever that was—and simply disappeared on her.

She was left standing there, quite surprised by the two men leaving in what seemed like a span of barely a few seconds, and… Who the hell was Patty?!

"And what did you do to him?" Harry wanted to know, clearly curious again and sticking his nose where it didn't belong.

At this point, she found him and his obnoxious rudeness bothersome.

"I guess you're not Jay's fan?" she asked anyway.

"An understatement," he responded. "I'd also like to know the why."

"The why of what?"

"Why were you so nice to me the other night? What do you want from me? And what's your story? You did follow me on an empty road in the dark. Why? What if I attacked you?"

The last one was actually a very good question, but she guessed she'd been so intrigued that she hadn't thought about the danger at the time—or it simply hadn't mattered, with how depressed she'd been.

Luckily for her, she was saved from answering, since another meta from Earth Two had appeared in town—Doctor Light. Barry had gotten his hands on the woman's helmet and wanted to somehow use it to find her.

"That's easy. Just let him do it." Harry pointed at Cisco, starting a stream of questions and shocked responses, which ended with him outing the younger man as a meta while presenting his watch.

Rachel flinched when he swung the object toward her side in order to prove that it was, indeed, reacting. Still, by now, she just felt sorry for poor Cisco, and while he was struggling to explain everything to the team, she only scratched her head and looked away.

"You knew about this," Barry suddenly said, clearly having watched her closely.

Great, now every pair of eyes was on her for a change.

"I… did have a vision about it already, yes," she eventually admitted, "but some of us prefer to be delicate about such things and simply wait for the right moment, when the person this actually concerns feels comfortable enough to share the news himself."

She looked at Cisco with sympathy, but Harry only rolled his eyes at the obvious jab.

"We have no time for platitudes. We need to fight Doctor Light."

"I… I was actually wondering if our powers could maybe be similar—mine and Rachel's," Cisco spoke up.

"No," was Wells's typical curt and exasperated reply. Then he sighed at the questioning looks on everyone's faces. "Your powers have a lot to do with the multiverse and multidimensionality," he deigned to explain, "and yours…" he turned to Rachel, "well, you get something like a meta notification. Then again, you didn't get a chance to look under Zoom's hood, did you? Useless."

And there it was—the very moment Rachel finally got angry enough with him to let it show, fury clear in her expression. He was nothing like the Harrison Wells she'd known. Harry was only impatient, unempathetic, uncaring, and infuriating. In the end, both men had turned out to be absolute assholes.

In the end, the team managed to apprehend the infamous Doctor Light from Earth Two, and Rachel hesitated when Caitlin invited her to join her, Cisco, and Barry for a celebratory coffee.

"I… I'm not sure…"

"Just come with us," said the latter and she finally let go of a breath she wasn't even aware she'd been holding.

"Barry, I really am sorry," Rachel confessed. "I've been so caught up in everything… I… I should've just come by earlier, I know. And it's not that I came because of Harry. I guess I needed a push so I wouldn't postpone it any longer."

"It's okay. I was a bit out of line. Let's just all have a fresh start," he suggested, offering a small smile.

She reciprocated that, doing her best to avoid thinking about the horrendous vision she'd had and trying not to let it dim what they had now.

"Talking about a new start!" they heard Cisco exclaiming happily. "Check out what I got! A pretty girl's phone number!"

They didn't notice Harrison Wells from Earth Two lurking outside, watching them all carefully.

A new day only brought a new tragedy...

If Rachel hadn't returned to S.T.A.R. Labs, it wouldn't have happened.

If Rachel hadn't been a meta, it wouldn't have happened.

If Rachel hadn't dated Harrison Wells—the impostor—in the first place, it wouldn't have happened.

If she hadn't been in the picture at all…

It was quite a few ifs, but then again, if she'd really never been a part of the team, they would've found out later, and that definitely would have taken a turn for the worse. It would have hit harder. Maybe it would've led to even more horrible events taking place...

She was actually in a good mood as she appeared in the cortex, bringing Caitlin her favorite, as she'd also made a stop at Jitters on her way.

It just so happened that Jay was present, and it was about time Rachel introduced herself.

Jay Garrick had no idea she was a meta.

He smiled at her, reaching his hand out in greeting, but when she shook it, her face instantly paled, until it became pure white.

"Rachel?" Caitlin asked with a frown, on seeing her friend's terrified expression. "Rachel, is everything all right?"

A lot happened almost simultaneously.

Harry entered the cortex, seeing what was going on and, contrary to Caitlin, immediately putting two and two together, he pressed the panic button on his phone, signaling the Flash.

In that very moment, Rachel screamed, suddenly being grabbed and moved with such speed that her insides squirmed and her head started to spin violently.

"Barry, that's Zoom!" Wells yelled once the Flash appeared, having just missed Jay and Rachel, though he'd seen them disappear and didn't think twice before following.

Caitlin covered her mouth with her hands, looking at Harry in horror when Cisco entered the cortex.

"Are you guys, okay?" the younger man asked in confusion.

He was so fast. So, so damn fast. And Rachel wasn't an idiot—she'd just had a vision of Zoom, indicating that it was Jay Garrick. What a brilliant deception, once more orchestrated by someone the team thought they could trust. Her guts, however, had told her to trust Harry Wells from the beginning. It might already be too late for her, but at least the team knew Jay's real identity now. It was crazy to think that he was both the Flash and Zoom on Earth Two. Then again, he was probably a psychopath, creating his own hero to fight, taking away hope from the people of the other Central City, just to bring it back. He would surely kill her or use her as leverage to get to Barry—both awful, unthinkable options.

To Rachel's shock, something collided with Zoom, and he released the hold he had on her... She braced herself for the impact with the ground that would surely break her bones, if it didn't kill her on the spot; however, it never came. Instead, she found herself screaming when she was grabbed right back, but she quickly realized that this person felt different—it must've been Barry.

In no time, they returned to the cortex, and she staggered, being put back onto her shaky legs, someone's arms holding her up and preventing her from falling. She recognized Harry Wells, now helping her into a chair as the Flash disappeared.

From her current spot, she had an excellent view of the feed from the cameras outside, watching in absolute and utter distress as Barry tried to battle Zoom—tried, since the other speedster seemed to have an unprecedented advantage.

"He cannot do this alone," Caitlin pointed out, wearing a similar horrified expression.

"He's not alone," Harry contradicted, reaching for his gun and already heading to the exit himself before anyone could stop him.

In the end, he did manage to shoot Zoom, but it didn't help much, so he was forced to retreat back inside when...

"Barry!" Rachel screamed, seeing the horrible blow Zoom dealt Barry—straight into the spine.

The Flash fell to the ground like a rag doll.

"NOOO!" It was too much. Was it already happening? Was this it? Was this the end of Barry, and also of them all, as without the Flash, they were just sitting ducks?

Zoom then grabbed his opponent and sped off, leaving them flabbergasted until there was a whoosh of air once again, and he was suddenly standing in the middle of the cortex, holding the Flash up by his neck. Defeated and helpless—Rachel could not possibly stand this, feeling such an overwhelming pain deeply in her chest that it began to suffocate her.

"Barry!" This time it was Caitlin alone who screamed, Rachel not having the voice for it anymore. They were all horrified by what they were seeing, tears streaming down their faces, their fear as palpable as ice in their veins.

Just before Barry was dealt the final and fatal blow, Cisco managed to shoot Zoom, and the speedster fell to his knees, but unfortunately disappeared mere seconds later.

"Barry!" Caitlin rushed toward her friend, doing her best to help him, whereas Rachel sat there, stunned, not able to make any sense of her emotions—and, quite frankly, flat-out refusing to.

Once again, Rachel's shock was so great that she felt like someone had hit her over the head with a hammer; her senses were dampened, her ears ringing as she watched Caitlin, with the help of Cisco and Joe, get Barry onto a lab cot and then do everything she could to save him.

He would live—probably only thanks to his superhealing powers—but… his spine was broken, and Cait wasn't able to tell how long it would take for him to heal, or… None of them really wanted to think of a what-if scenario, so they pretended there was no other alternative.

Rachel had already dealt with a speedster in a wheelchair, with no ability to walk, once before—or so he'd said. Back then, she hadn't even been aware of who he truly was. Seeing Barry like this brought up all the memories she'd tried so hard to bury—the memories of the particle accelerator explosion, of Harrison landing in a hospital… Added to all of that, there was also the vision that never stopped haunting her…

She couldn't take this anymore...

Harry was pissed, reacting with nothing but pure rage at Zoom escaping, and Joe nearly attacked him for it, since he didn't seem to be concerned about Barry at all.

"Who's Jesse?" Cisco chose that moment to ask, and suddenly, silence fell.

As it turned out, this Wells, indeed, had a hidden agenda—though not as horrible as his predecessor's. Harry's daughter—the only family he had left—had been kidnapped by Zoom, and the man had tried to set her free ever since, eventually taking a trip to Earth Two in order to seek the Flash's help.

Soon after the truth was revealed, Wells retreated, immediately leaving the cortex, and Rachel followed, needing to get away from the awful sight of Barry. It was too much, and she refused to deal with it right now.

For lack of a better option, she went after Harry.

"Are you okay?" She was only able to imagine how awful he must've been feeling, knowing his daughter was somewhere out there at the mercy of a monster. "Ah, sorry… it was ridiculous of me to ask that," she amended, painfully aware that Barry had once addressed her exactly like this, and feeling sick that even when she physically distanced herself, he seemed to follow anyway. "Of course you're not okay. Your daughter is still missing."

He didn't say anything to that. Instead, he turned around and looked at her.

Suddenly, to her great astonishment, he grabbed her and pressed his lips hard against hers.

She could tell this wasn't about feelings and care, but rather about filling up a hole and experiencing something other than despair—something she'd been very familiar with recently. And she actually kissed him back, because she felt just as lost and powerless about everything that had already happened and everything that would still happen.

"Who was he to you, really?" Harry asked as he stopped the kiss, his face barely millimeters from hers.

"Who?"

"The other Wells."

"I think you know. You're not stupid."

He almost chuckled at that remark.

"I'm a genius," he quickly supplied, but then a frown marred his face, followed by distress, as he clearly remembered why he was even there, on Earth One.

In response, Rachel wound her arms around his neck and brought him closer, meeting his lips and kissing him. The body that now pressed against her, the mouth that returned the kiss rather bruisingly, and the hands that moved down her spine—it all felt strangely familiar, like remembering a long-forgotten dream, yet it was still different somehow, like attempting to fit pieces of a puzzle that, in reality, didn't match at all.

However, she still wished to try… allowing him to pull her toward his room and, as the door closed behind them, pull her shirt up and over her head, then discard his black sweater. He crashed his lips against hers immediately after, while undoing her bra and replacing the cups with his hands, squeezing nearly bruisingly, and pushing her toward the bed. Rachel's jeans were soon pulled down her legs along with her underwear, and Harry fumbled with his belt, in no time fitting himself between her legs, not sparing her as he entered her fast and possessively, as if pushing all of his fear and grief into her along with his sudden desire, while letting her use him for that, too.

They were both hurting, both terrified, and tonight they sought comfort in each other. What was wrong with that? Rachel asked herself. Yes, it still didn't feel like the Harrison she remembered, despite the physical resemblance. This man was simply not Eobard Thawne; he was not the one she'd been in love with, either, but she didn't want him to be. She wouldn't be able to explain why she wanted him, even if she tried. All that mattered at the moment was making the pain, the ache, all the troubles, and all the stress go away. All that mattered was the sweet oblivion, promised by her climax.

They said mornings after were awkward, but they didn't need to be if one didn't stay the night. Rachel might've had sex with Harrison Wells of Earth Two, but she hadn't stayed—she'd left the Labs instead and gone home…

…only to come back around noon the next day and witness the man arguing with the rest of the team. Soon after, he stormed off.

"What just happened?" she asked, perplexed.

"He refuses to listen to reason," Caitlin informed, quite ruffled as she folded her arms across her chest. "He needs to stay. We need him. We can only defeat Zoom and find Harry's daughter if we work together, but he doesn't seem to get that."

"Because he's stubborn! And frankly, we don't really need him!" Cisco retorted. "We're better off without him."

"Actually, I think Caitlin's right," Barry agreed with the doctor. "We do need him, and we should definitely help his daughter. We cannot let innocent people get hurt by Zoom, or worse."

"Speaking of… how are you?" Rachel hesitated, but eventually braved it out and asked, not able to help looking at him with care in her eyes, yet at the same time trying to keep her distance, to shield herself. Somehow, it was all too much whenever the man was concerned. He was currently in a wheelchair—another detail that only made things harder for her.

"Healing, but slowly. Thanks," he responded, and nodded at her. "We really need to get Wells back. Do you think you could talk to him, Rachel?" he then asked her.

"What? Me? Why me?!" she reacted way too strongly—the memories of their bodies moving together in an urgent rhythm the night before were still fresh in her mind. Her cheeks nearly flushed, and she was so grateful that no one but the two of them knew what had happened.

"You were the one who convinced him to come here and trust us in the first place," Barry reminded her, a slight frown appearing on his face.

"Um… yeah… yes. I guess that is true, indeed…"

"If this is about last night, it didn't mean anything," Harry Wells informed in a gruff voice when she barely approached him.

In normal circumstances, something like this would hurt her, but in this case, she really couldn't care less.

"Don't worry. I don't expect anything, nor do I want it. It didn't exactly mean anything to me, either," Rachel assured him in exasperation, nearly rolling her eyes.

"Then why are you here?" he sighed impatiently, annoyed that he was interrupted.

"I'm here because we need you. And whether you—or we—like it or not—we need one another. We can't defeat Zoom alone. Together, we are stronger. With your mind and Barry's powers…"

"The same Barry who almost died last night? Who I almost got killed?!"

"You? And why is that? Because you helped us tease Zoom with Doctor Light as bait and it didn't work out? Or because you kept pushing Barry to the limit, to try and defeat him as soon as possible? But then again, you forget that it was me who was kidnapped and me seeing Zoom's real identity that did the trick. I could just as well say it's my fault."

"That's just ridiculous…" Harry finally deigned to look at her and came to a stop, seeing her point along with her expression. "I need to get home, okay?" he reminded her. "I have to find a way to figure out which of the breaches will take me there, and I'll try to fight Zoom from my own city."

"With what?" Rachel asked the perfect question he hadn't, yet, found the answer to himself. "Unless… wait a second... Harry, what if we close the breaches? Make it harder for Zoom to travel between worlds?"

"I'm listening…"

One doctor kidnapped and saved, and one telepathic gorilla caught and sent to Earth Two later, the team gathered in the cortex, Barry back at his full speed and on his legs, ready to come up with a plan to both stop Zoom and get Harry's daughter back.

It was actually Rachel's idea to put Harry in the Reverse Flash's suit and try to dupe Grodd—and one that she'd quickly regretted, since seeing him dressed like that had brought up way too many memories, and not just for her. Barry had basically run out of his wheelchair and almost attacked him, led by impulse rather than reason.

However, it'd worked in the end, and the team seemed to like Harry more now—to be more welcome and more accepting toward him in general.

They finally had a plan. They finally worked together. It was time to act.

Barry was currently watching both Harry and Rachel with a bothered expression on his face, clearly noticing that they were more comfortable with each other now than before, and unsure how he felt about it. He decided to go and see Patty instead of wondering, and once he did, he didn't waste any time, pulling her into a dark corner and kissing her.

"What are you doing?" she gasped, smiling once they broke apart.

"Taking a leap," he simply answered.

Rachel was just on her way out of the building when a hand caught her arm and pulled her into an empty room. Before she realized what was happening, Harry was kissing her again in his usual demanding manner, his hands already roaming all over her body, then grasping her hips to ram them straight into his, making her feel him.

"We shouldn't be doing this. This is a bad idea," she eventually pointed out, yet her hands were already working on his belt and grasping his hardness, while he removed her bra.

"Who cares?" he asked before hissing when he felt her warm touch over him. "Turn around," he requested, and she did as asked, feeling him push her over a chair before he entered her without wasting any time, plain fucking her. At that moment, it was exactly what she needed.

Barry and Patty arrived at her apartment, kissing and losing clothes on their way. She was beautiful, and they had so much in common, he thought. They could make a great couple; it should work, he kept convincing himself as he exposed her naked flesh to his eyes and hands. Yes, there was this small detail of him lying to her, but he couldn't just tell her he was the Flash… he decided, taking the reigns over her body, and making all his problems and the world around him disappear for a moment...

Rachel wished that, for once, she could get to the Labs and not be faced with some kind of emergency—although this one was not metahuman-related, since her head remained blissfully pain-free. However, she quickly realized that it didn't really matter, considering what she was witnessing was just as bad—if notworse. At first, she froze, her brain needing time to deal with what she saw play out in front of her eyes, and then…

"Oh my god, what happened?! Is he all right?!" She got to Caitlin immediately, seeing that her friend was working on an unconscious and half-naked Harry, who was lying on a lab cot, hooked up to a heart-monitoring machine.

"Um… Patty shot him," the doctor informed.

"WHAT?!" Rachel exclaimed, panicking even more. Then she noticed a woman pacing back and forth while nervously biting her nails—it must've been the infamous Patty Spivot, Barry's new girlfriend. She certainly was pretty, but clearly not so bright. "Why would you do that?!" she directed at her without preamble.

"Patty, this is Rachel," Caitlin handled the brief introductions.

"I'm sorry! I recognized him as Harrison Wells, and he was holding something that resembled a gun, and… and I had no idea about the multiverse! I swear!"

"Just… spare me." Rachel sighed, raising her hand and then turning away from the woman, not at all interested in getting to know her, especially not now, after she'd shot the man Rachel… what, exactly? The man she'd slept with a couple of times? It didn't take a genius to figure out that there was nothing romantic between her and Wells from Earth Two. She couldn't even explain what it really was. Closure? Denial? Grief…? And for him? Probably a few moments of pleasure to forget about how dire things really were. "Can you save him?" she asked Caitlin instead.

"I hope so… I need the Flash… Joe!" she yelled, relieved to see the detective walking in, clearly just as distressed as they all were, and shooting Patty not-so-friendly looks.

After Joe took Patty out of the building, Barry came running immediately, and the bullet was vibrated out of Wells's body at once, thus saving his life. Caitlin's idea had clearly worked, and they could all breathe a sigh of relief as Harry would pull through and they would continue to work together in order to stop Zoom and save Jesse. Patty wouldn't go to jail for homicide, either. Well, technically, she wouldn't anyway, since Harrison Wells was already dead on this Earth, but Rachel was still beyond angry with the woman, and she couldn't care less about the circumstances. It was fucking idiotic to shoot a man like this, almost in the heart, out of all places! Didn't they teach them anything in the police academy?!

"I just called Patty to let her know. She's relieved. She was really worried," she then heard Barry inform Caitlin on his way back into the cortex.

"I'm sorry… worried?! Worried?!" Rachel erupted, looking at him in fury. "She could've killed him! She bloody would have if it hadn't been for your superpowers! What the hell was she thinking, anyway?! Aiming straight at the heart?!"

"Whoa, whoa, Rachel, it's okay," Barry said slowly, raising his hands. "She knew about Harrison Wells of this world, and she thought she was facing a murderer," he began explaining.

"That shouldn't have mattered! She should've aimed somewhere else!"

"Why are you suddenly so rattled by all of this?" the Flash frowned, narrowing his eyes. "Everything ended well."

"Tell that to Harry, who's basically recovering from a fucking gunshot wound!" She refused to let it go, her voice still elevated to a scream.

Barry didn't answer. Instead, he kept staring at her with narrowed eyes, deep in his thoughts, when suddenly, they opened wide in shock.

"No," he still said out loud, shaking his head in denial. "No, it can't be… Are you two…?" A gasp escaped his lips.

Rachel had no idea how he even guessed it. It wasn't as though she was in love with the man, but at the same time, they'd indeed had something happen between them, so of course she wouldn't be happy if Harry Wells died.

In the end, she could've lied. She could've kept the truth to herself, come up with all kinds of possible explanations, but her own body betrayed her as she blushed.

Barry was left speechless, his mouth hanging open. Caitlin's was as well, so it seemed.

"You and Wells? Again?!" the speedster raised his voice, absolutely stupefied by the news.

"No, it's not like that," Rachel immediately protested, as though in her defense.

"Then how is it?!" Barry prompted, anger simmering just beneath the surface. "Please, explain."

"It didn't really mean anything."

"It didn't… Oh, it didn't mean anything?!" he was absolutely flabbergasted, erupting in pure shock, his face contorted with disbelief. "Rachel, have you gone insane?!"

Cisco chose that very moment to walk into the cortex, and he stopped at once, not sure whether to retreat or stay, a lollipop suspended halfway to his mouth.

"He's a doppelganger of the man you were in a relationship with!" the speedster yelled in pure fury, completely out of control.

Rachel had never seen him like this, so at first she was stunned, just like the rest of the team, and unsure how to even react.

"He's not the Harrison Wells from this Earth, who died before you even got to know him! He's from another Earth—a completely different person! You never knew, nor can you know, the real one!"

"I know that!" she screamed right back, finally finding her voice again. She also hated that she had tears in her eyes. "But whatever the hell I'm doing is my choice! You're not the boss of me, so stop fucking around like this!"

The silence that followed was deafening, before Barry added, this time in a tone of voice that resembled his normal one, "You need help, Rachel. Maybe even therapy. What happened, what Eobard Thawne did to us, to you… it was awful and traumatic, and we all need to find ways to deal with that, but… but sleeping with his literal copy is not it. If so, that's not normal, that's justinsane," he repeated himself.

"Don't talk to me," she warned him in response, pointing a finger at him, clearly deeply offended, and then she walked away, missing the sudden flinch that passed through his face and the pain marring his features.

Caitlin shot Barry a knowing look and was just opening her mouth, but he ignored her, also choosing to leave, but through a different door.

Rachel was forced to finally admit it to herself—Barry wasn't entirely in the wrong, and deep down, she knew it. She'd known from the very moment Harrison Wells from Earth Two had made a move on her that she shouldn't have said yes, that she should've said no, and pushed him away. Nothing about it was healthy, and nothing made it easier for her to deal with what had happened. If anything, she'd only invited more chaos into her life by sleeping with the doppelganger of the man she'd once loved, the fact that he'd been a traitor and an impostor only making it all that much worse.

First, she needed some time away in order to calm down, and once she actually managed to do so, she felt awful about the fight with Barry. For now, they seemed to keep avoiding each other, which wasn't all that hard, considering he was busy getting faster and stronger in his preparation to fight Zoom, as well as juggling his time between work and his new girlfriend. At the moment, even Harry was distant, always somewhere in the Labs, but never really engaging in any discussion or being social with the rest of the team. Whatever had happened between Rachel and him was over now, and she had no hard feelings whatsoever—she was even glad about it, since distancing herself from him only made her see more clearly how wrong it'd truly been. She hoped to just forget about the whole thing, like Harry had already seemed to.

Before she realized, Christmas was around the corner, and everyone was heading to Joe West's house again, which had become their tradition. Rachel only had two options—to follow, or to celebrate alone. The last time, Harrison—or maybe rather Eobard—had abandoned her, and now it all finally made perfect sense, since it'd been around Christmas that he'd baited Barry by running around the city as the Reverse Flash.

Upon knocking, Iris opened the door, smiling brightly and accepting the bottle of wine Rachel had brought. As she was invited inside, she instantly spotted Barry, talking to Patty in the far corner of the living room. Strangely enough, his eyes met hers at the same time, as if he'd been searching for her, and he quickly excused himself, heading straight over to her.

"Um… Rachel… hi…" he started, feeling absolutely awkward, but he couldn't just leave things like this around Christmas.

"Listen, Barry, I'm sorry," she sincerely apologized to him. "I'm sorry for a lot of things, actually. I am truly sorry I didn't immediately come back to the team. And I'm sorry that it happened just when I brought Harrison there. You were right. About everything. Nothing about it was healthy, and…" She shook her head briefly, looking away for a moment. "It was just about the lowest point I've ever reached… Well, it's over now, and I truly wish it had never happened... And it shouldn't have taken you to tell me that. I see it clearly now, too. I should've been smarter and realized it myself before…" She was shaking a little now, tears filling her eyes against her own will as she met his soft gaze.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Come here," he encouraged her, and she suddenly found herself pulled right into his arms.

As they enveloped her and the warmth of his body reached her, Rachel started to cry for real, holding onto him for the time being. She couldn't even comprehend what she was feeling at the moment—it was just all too much at once, and very confusing, too. "The truth is that I still haven't been able to fully deal with what happened, and I'm not sure I ever will," she suddenly confessed. "I don't even know how to." Somehow, her grip on Barry tightened, and she could swear she felt his heartbeat against her chest.

"That's okay," he whispered straight into her ear, still holding her, his hands tracing soothing circles on her back. "It's not a race. And I'm going to be there to help you. I promise."

Rachel didn't know why or how, but whatever she seemed to be doing—every path always led to him. And Barry was destined to die. So, yes, she couldn't even begin to deal with all of that, and, worst of all, she couldn't even tell him.

They didn't notice Patty watching them closely from the other side of the room.

Just when Barry finally let Rachel go and she wiped her tears, she was struck with a vision that left her absolutely horrified.

"What's wrong? What did you see?" he immediately asked, his hands resting on her arms.

She only looked at him with her eyes wide.

She saw Eobard Thawne.

And not the Eobard wearing the body of the Harrison Wells she'd dated. She actually saw the man with his original face and blond hair, landing in their current timeline—a time remnant, as Harry Wells explained. And they found him—starting from Rachel's vision, which informed them about his arrival from the future in the first place, and ending with Cisco, who tapped into his own powers with the help and genius of—though not so nice—Harry.

They currently had the Reverse Flash locked in their pipeline—the one from before he'd taken over the body of Harrison Wells from Earth One.

While they were discussing what they should do with the speedster, Barry and Caitlin seemed to be casting small glances at Rachel, as if waiting for her to either break or demand to finally talk to the man.

"I don't want to," she eventually informed them, annoyed by the attention.

"What do you mean?" Cait asked in an innocent tone.

"I don't want to talk to him," Rachel clarified. "I never knew him wearing this face, and, clearly, he doesn't know me, either. Yet." The last word came out a little bitter, and she quickly excused herself, needing a breather.

"Rachel." Barry went after her immediately, as if it were as natural to him as breathing, his hand already reaching for her arm.

"I'll be okay," she assured him when she turned to him. "It's just… seeing this man… what he really looks like, how he is…" She took a deep breath, fighting tears that threatened to flood her eyes again. "All that happened between me and… and the other Wells… it was all a lie. Nothing more. So, I'm just… I feel like throwing up... I just need some air." After that, she fastened up, desperate to be away for the moment.

However, fate had different plans, since now it was Harry who stood in her way.

"You all right?" Still, the tone of his voice betrayed that he wasn't really comfortable asking her that. "Listen, Rachel…" he started, and she had to stop him for a change.

"Harry… just…" she lifted her hand, "it's okay. This isn't about you. We're good."

Before he managed to say—or not to say—something to that, Cisco came from around the corner, pale as death and bleeding profusely from his nose.

Both Rachel and Harry called his name in concern, rushing to him and helping him up before taking him to see Caitlin.

It had turned out to be an incredibly long and emotional day for everyone.

Barry faced a horribly difficult choice, but in the end, it was a no-brainer, really—the very presence of the original Thawne was killing Cisco, quite literally wiping him out of existence, so the Flash didn't have any other choice but to help his enemy get back home to the future. Thankfully, it reversed whatever had been happening to their friend. Just then, Barry suggested he could walk Rachel home, since they all started to slowly leave the Labs, and she agreed, feeling like they both needed each other at the moment.

"I'm sorry you had to do this," she said as they walked through the already dark streets of Central City.

"Cisco's life was more important. I would never let any of you, guys, suffer or die because of me or my desire to catch Thawne."

"My mind is still spinning… It makes you think that you cannot truly erase something. Eddie sacrificed himself, and yet, whatever happened, happened, and somehow, we got to see… him again." She felt very troubled.

"Time travel and altering time have its consequences," Barry agreed with a nod. "I'm sorry you had to live through those awful memories again as well."

"Strangely enough, seeing that man didn't bring up the Harrison I knew… It's…" She came to a stop and sighed. "I know that technically it's the same person, but it doesn't feel like it. Maybe it's because I knew him years after he made the trip to see us today…"

"Maybe… then again…" Barry started slowly, his voice trailing off.

"I know. I know what you want to say. That it's Eobard Thawne, set on his goal, a perfect actor. Just, still… I can't quite figure out how being with me benefited him in the end. I understand you, and Caitlin, and Cisco, the Labs… but me?"

"Maybe it had something to do with your powers, and it was too early to tell what he was really waiting for." There was also something else on Barry's mind, something that he'd been thinking about a lot ever since his last talk with Wells-Thawne, but he didn't dare to say it aloud. It didn't matter, anyway.

"Well… still, he was always different around you, guys, and at work than he was with me," Rachel pointed out.

"Who knows… maybe even villains like Thawne want to get home at the end of the day. Maybe that was what you were for him," Barry said slowly, carefully, trying not to think too much about it, since it brought him an unfamiliar and nearly unbearable kind of pain.

"I guess we will never know… And we should look into the future. God knows we've spent too much time hating this man. Maybe it's finally time to let him go. The Thawne we all knew is never coming back."

"Amen to that," Barry agreed, and then they came to a stop in front of the building where she lived.

"How's Patty, by the way?" Rachel asked before saying goodnight.

"Um… That… that's over, actually," he admitted, avoiding his friend's eyes and looking down at the ground instead.

"Oh no! I'm so sorry. What happened?"

"Couldn't put her in danger. And… I guess it wasn't really meant to be, anyway," Barry cut his answer short.

"Still, I'm sorry. You deserve someone really amazing. And maybe this time, also someone who isn't blindly shooting members of our team," Rachel added her signature jab at Patty.

"You're not going to let that one go, are you?" Barry chuckled, amused.

"Not anytime soon. Nope." She was glad, though, that they could joke about this now, as she so did not wish to go back to that awful fight they'd had. "I do hope that someday you'll find the person who's just right for you," she said, before following with, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he responded, watching her as she disappeared inside. Then he sighed heavily and headed home himself.

The moment Rachel entered her building, her phone rang—it was her publisher, informing her of a date set for her new book release. As she walked into her apartment and closed the door behind her, she went straight to the window and still managed to catch a glimpse of Barry disappearing around the corner, clearly not feeling like using his speed and needing a slow walk tonight. She released a heavy sigh, since it seemed like the cat would be out of the bag soon.

After sending Eobard Thawne back to the future, Rachel had a vision of a metahuman who could turn himself into living tar. The team immediately started working on locating and catching him, and soon after, they realized that Barry was running slower than usual. At first, it was dismissed as a glitch in his suit or simply a bad day, but then Iris got hurt while working on a story, because he wasn't fast enough to save her. Luckily for her, she would be all right and soon discharged from the hospital, but it still left team Flash baffled about what was happening.

"Your speed is down by 2%, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say that Zoom stole it," Caitlin informed after conducting her tests.

"Only that makes no sense," Rachel argued, a frown appearing on her face. "How even? If it'd happened weeks ago—fine—but now?"

"Harry, maybe you have an idea?" Barry turned to the Wells of Earth Two addition to the team, but the man quickly dismissed the question, speculating that it could be hundreds of different factors causing it. Rachel narrowed her eyes while looking at him, though, because he acted very weird—or at least stranger than usual.

Just when she was about to ask something, he suddenly changed his mind and confessed that it was his fault, after all,"I did that. I stole your speed. And I gave it to Zoom."

Sudden silence fell in the cortex as everyone stared at him, just standing there, arms already up in a gesture of surrender.

However, before they managed to react, Joe, who just happened to walk in, ran straight at Harry and punched him.

"Joe, stop!" Rachel screamed, but he refused to listen. "JOE!" She wanted to go over to the man and put an end to this herself, but Barry held her back, probably afraid she would get hurt in the process. She shook him off angrily, but by then Joe was done, lifting Harry to his feet and brutally shoving him out of the cortex and down into the pipeline.

Wells didn't even struggle, and that should tell them something, Rachel thought when they all followed the men. In fact, he'd confessed all on his own, probably led by remorse.

"Why are you putting him in the pipeline?" Barry asked, voicing the perfect question.

"Because if I don't, I'll kill him."

Sadly, they were all forced to leave the makeshift prison for now, prompted by a new metahuman alert. In the end, Rachel alone stayed behind.

"Just leave me here like everyone else. Why do you even care? I duped you, too, didn't I?" Harry threw her way, his voice resigned and devoid of any hope.

"No, I don't recall anything of the sort," she disagreed, folding her arms across her chest and standing right in front of the glass wall separating her from him. "Whatever happened, happened because of a mutual agreement, and even if I do admit it was a mistake, it wasn't your fault. I was there as well. I agreed to it. And it's over because we never had any real feelings for each other. Now, with that out of the way—why did you do it? Did Zoom threaten Jesse's life?"

Harry didn't respond right away, but Rachel could tell she was onto something. After all, it was the only explanation that made sense to her.

Eventually, after a long pause, he stood face to face with her and clarified, "It didn't mean anything because it couldn't. It wouldn't, even if I wanted it to. I don't have feelings anymore—at least not that kind of feelings. All that has been inside of me ever since Zoom took my daughter is rage and revenge. I am made of that and nothing else. And ever since my wife, Tess…" he came to a brief stop, clearly needing to pull himself back under control, "died, Jesse has been all I could think of. She is all I'm living for. I don't have room for anyone else. I just can't."

It was the first time Rachel had ever heard him talk about his dead wife, and she truly appreciated the honesty. She also understood.

"Harry…" she started, then changed her mind. "Listen," she began again, "we all lost someone. Every single one of us, every single member of this team, lost someone important, and it left us hollowed out and hurting as well. But we found each other, and we give each other strength, and we go on because of that. And I think that's exactly what's happening to you now—you can't help being sucked into this team, you can't help but care. And it's okay. You did come clean. You didn't take all of Barry's speed."

"I beg to differ," he disagreed. "It's absolutely not okay. Detective West's daughter almost lost her life today because of what I did—because of what I did to protect mine. Just tell Barry to at least send me home." After that, he turned around, letting her know, not so subtly, that the conversation was over.

Once Barry dealt with the meta, Rachel tried to make a case on Harry's behalf.

"Why do you even bother defending him?" the speedster asked in a tired voice while rubbing his eyes. "What is it with you and Wellses, really? It's like… No…" he corrected himself and sighed, looking aside. "Rachel, I don't want to fight you anymore. I don't want us to be on bad terms. It's just…" He felt hopeless, drained, and hurt, and he couldn't even tell her why. He wasn't able to make sense of it all himself, if he were honest.

"Barry, this isn't about some romantic feelings I may harbor. Because I don't," she assured him carefully. "I had them for the other Wells when he was with me, and that's it. I am not in love, nor will I fall in love with Harry. This is simply me, objectively and with compassion, telling you that he was just trying to get his daughter back. And he did come clean. He could've gone through with his plan, stolen your entire speed, and that would've been it. But he didn't," Rachel emphasized.

Barry sighed, briefly covering his face with his hands, and then paced around the room a bit. Eventually, he came to a stop.

"We should just send him back to his Earth, close the breaches, and be done with it," Joe suggested, but to his astonishment, his adoptive son answered with a resounding, "No."

Every eye in the cortex was on him now.

"We can't do this. We need to help him. Rachel's right… What if that was any one of us? Joe, what if it were Iris? Cisco, you told Snart everything he wanted to know to protect your brother, and we all understood. We can't punish Wells for doing the same. Jesse is all he has, and she was taken from him, and is kept by a monster who's doing god knows what to her. It would drive anyone crazy, break them with ease. He heard his daughter would be released if he stole my speed, and he couldn't really rely on me, because the last time I faced Zoom…" his voice trailed off, and Rachel flinched at the unwelcome memory. "We're team Flash. We have to help him," Barry finished.

"What are we going to do, then?" Cisco asked.

"We're going to go to Earth Two and get Harry his daughter back. Maybe we should've done it a long time ago."

A trip to Earth Two—Harry's home planet and the place where Zoom kept Jesse.

Rachel had trouble wrapping her mind around it, and even more so once she found out that only Barry and Cisco were going with. She suggested that her powers might be useful as well, but none of the guys wanted to take her along, fearing for her safety. They were probably right, as she couldn't protect herself. She had no experience in the field, so she would stay behind with Caitlin. Still, it was hard on her—especially when she might not see the three men who were leaving ever again...

She really didn't know what to say to Barry, or how to even feel. She was also scared for Cisco and Harry, but somehow, her fear for Barry felt different. She told herself it was because of the vision she'd had.

"Rachel." Wells turned to her just before they were all about to go through the only remaining breach in the Labs' basement.

"Take care of yourself, Harry," she told him, hugging him briefly, glad that it didn't feel awkward. Maybe, with enough time passing, they could manage to become good friends. "I really hope you get to save Jesse. I'm looking forward to meeting her."

"Thanks."

"Come here, girl!" Cisco got to her and hugged her as well. "Take care of this place while we're gone, will ya?"

"Take care of yourself and the other two."

"You got it!"

That left only Barry, and again, Rachel had no idea what to say, how to react, or what to do.

"Barry…"

"Rachel…" they said at the exact same time, and they both smiled awkwardly at one another.

"Just be safe, okay? And please, come back in one piece," she told him in a changed voice, already feeling tears prickling at her eyes. She always worked so hard to push the vision of him dying in agony from her mind, but not always with success.

"I'll be back in a flash," he joked, and then spread his arms, and she walked into them, allowing him to hug her. It felt so much more different than hugging any other member of the team...

"Bye." She let go of him, shaky.

Next thing she knew, the three men disappeared inside the breach.

Rachel and Caitlin couldn't possibly sit around, worried sick, and wait for the rest of the team to come back—preferably with Jesse—so they decided to go to one of their apartments, order some food, and open a bottle of wine. They needed it to take their minds off the potential danger their friends were facing, as well as to have a break from work.

"It's been a while since we did this," Cait commented, pouring wine and handing Rachel a glass.

"We always had time for it before you came back to work at S.T.A.R. Labs—just saying," Rachel pointed out, winking at her friend. "I guess that's just where we belong—you as a doctor, helping the team, and me as an occasional metahuman detector."

"I actually think you're much more than that, so don't sell yourself too short. The team wouldn't be the same without you," Caitlin voiced her thoughts, and the redhead smiled.

"I'm only part of the team because I happened to date Har… well, Eobard," she corrected herself.

"That makes at least one thing to be grateful to him for." Cait raised her glass to that. "How's your book going, by the way? Do you have a premiere date set already?" She was curious to know.

"Actually, yes, I do, but…" Rachel hesitated and bit her lower lip, not really sure how to proceed. "I guess this one is special. It's a bit… different. Sadder."

"Oh no! Am I going to cry while reading it? Maybe I shouldn't, then. Right now, all I need is a happy ending."

"Don't we all?" the writer asked, staring off into the distance with a morose expression on her face.

For a moment, they both sat in a companionable silence, sipping their wine, but then, Caitlin suddenly blurted out, "I slept with a woman."

"What?!" Rachel exclaimed in surprise, her eyes opening wide. "Wow! When?! Did you like it?! Do tell!" She was excited, already having suspected that her friend was confused about her sexuality, though she figured the other woman was simply bi.

"A few nights back. I went to this place… and before I knew it, this beautiful woman was asking me if I wanted to go home with her, and… and I guess I really wanted to."

"Will you see her again?"

"No. It was a one-night stand, and I'm okay with that. I just needed this experience. And yes, it was pretty amazing, and I think once the right person comes along, I will be ready to put myself out there and start dating for real."

"I'm happy for you. I really am," Rachel assured her friend.

"Why did you sleep with Harry?" Caitlin then followed with, and the redhead almost choked on her drink. "I'm sorry if I'm being too straightforward, but I kind of did tell you something intimate… I'm only asking because I'm worried about you. It's just… it's Dr. Wells's doppelganger… Are you doing okay? I mean, I agree that Barry had no right to scream at you the way he did, but I can't deny that…"

"…that he was kinda right? Yeah, I know." Rachel sighed. She needed to think for a moment before she came up with the right answer, "I guess… I… I guess I just wanted that body again," she confessed, "the familiarity of it, the comfort it used to bring me… You know, before everything went to shit and I found out who Harrison really was… But, it didn't work. The body might've looked exactly the same, but the touch was different, the energy all wrong… and I… then I just thought that I had to hate myself for missing that touch after everything he did…"

"Rachel, no, you shouldn't blame yourself," Caitlin assured her in a soft voice. "For you, that relationship lasted for over a year, and it was real. Of course, you're going to be conflicted about it. Of course you're bound to wonder how much of it was an act and how much was real. You felt loved. He was your partner, and you started to see a future with him. I understand that it's never going to be as easy as to just see him in black and white."

"I guess I will never really know the answers to my questions… And I could've asked them. It's not like I didn't have a chance, but… I guess I wouldn't have trusted him anyway. And I couldn't face him."

"Eobard was full of conflicts. He killed Cisco in the other timeline, and yet, he told him he loved him like a son. He hated the Flash, yet he felt fond of Barry… It's not that far-fetched that he might've cared about you, too, but in the end, something else was more important to him."

"That's just the thing, isn't it? He could've decided to stay in our timeline and never go through with his plan. He would've had it all, then. He would've had this team, and me, and…"

"But in the end, his hatred was bigger than his love," Cait reminded her.

"Yeah." Rachel bit her lip, nodding, and then staring into the empty glass she was holding.

"More?" Caitlin offered, filling it up again. "Is that…?" she started and stopped immediately, as though not sure whether she should even ask this, but eventually, she did anyway. "Is that why you refuse to get closer to Barry?"

"Barry?" Rachel raised her eyebrows in surprise. "What do you mean?" Her heart, however, started beating faster.

"Well…" the doctor began slowly, clearly knowing she was treading on thin ice, "you two seem to have this… special… connection."

"I don't want to talk about it," Rachel said so fast that her friend was taken aback. "I don't even want to think about it."

"But why? I just don't understand. Your relationship with Eobard is in the past. We were all deceived and used by him. And I can't imagine Barry would mind."

"It's not that."

"Then what is it, Rachel?" Caitlin prompted, seeing how disturbed the woman was. "Come on, you can tell me anything. I'm your best friend," she encouraged.

She truly expected everything, but not Rachel actually looking at her with tears in her eyes.

"Did… something happen?"

"No, but it will," came the mysterious answer, and then Cait finally understood.

"Did you have a vision about Barry? Was it a bad one?"

"You… you can't tell him. You have to promise me you won't say a word to him."

"Okay. You have it. You have my word," Caitlin assured, now even more disturbed.

"I saw this pretty early on, and… since then, I cannot unsee it. It's not that I remember this vision. It actually comes back from time to time, always followed by a splitting headache, so I know it's real. Barry…" Rachel came to a stop, because the right words—the truth—were so difficult to articulate. "I saw him quite literally melting away… disappearing… dispersing… I can't explain it. He just evaporated, and it was agonizing. I can still hear his screams when I even think about it."

Caitlin remained speechless for a while.

"I… I can't let myself go there," Rachel added almost in a whisper. "I can't get hurt like this. It would kill me. I'm barely strong enough after everything that's already happened to me. So, this is why I haven't allowed myself even a thought."

"Maybe… maybe the future can change. It's the future, right?" Caitlin finally spoke, hope in her voice.

"No. I don't think so. Otherwise, I wouldn't have this vision over and over again." Rachel gulped down the whole glass of wine she was holding, and then reached for more. "And with that, we are done talking about Barry. Ever. Okay?"

Caitlin only nodded, helplessly watching her friend fight tears.

Rachel wasn't sure how much relaxation and taking their minds off things they'd actually had with Caitlin, but it didn't matter, because the time came when they were supposed to expect their team back.

At first, nothing happened, the breach remaining untouched, which started to seriously worry them. Eventually, however, there was some movement, finally marking the appearance of Cisco in the company of a young woman, who could only be Jesse.

"Where's the rest?" Caitlin asked, as they were still missing two people.

For a moment, Rachel really thought that thiswas it—it must have been the day they lost Barry forever, her vision coming true, bringing him death. She didn't even know how to feel about this, her heart closed off, a brick wall rising around it—all to avoid pain. She couldn't possibly get hurt again. Never again.

Only then did the breach flash once more, and Barry was back, helping Harry out, and that was it—they sealed the last passage, effectively trapping Zoom on the other side.

"Guys, you made it!" Rachel exclaimed, feeling incredibly relieved that everyone was back safe and sound—especially Barry. Barry was alive.

She could see something was off, though.

Caitlin reached Jesse and Harry, offering to check on the man's daughter in order to make sure she was all right and healthy. Cisco and Barry, however… they both looked off somehow, like whatever they'd seen on the other side hadn't been easy on them.

"Guys, is everything okay?" Rachel asked, taking a step toward them, but they only murmured that, yes, it was, and they needed some well-deserved rest.

The team was back and growing bigger in members. They'd also managed to effectively seal themselves off from Zoom. Was it the end, though? Rachel wondered, as it did feel a bit anticlimactic—no defeat, no victory, just hiding behind a wall between two worlds. And it was exactly what she was doing with her own heart, too.

The next vision Rachel had was one of a man-shark, so the team immediately knew they would have to deal with King Shark, a metahuman who had mutated into an animal.

"Oh, snap!" Cisco exclaimed, suddenly pointing at Rachel before the team dispersed to handle their tasks. "You have no meta name! How come this happened?!" he asked her in an accusing tone, as though it were her fault.

"Um… I don't need one," she said with a shrug. "I don't really care for a name. It's not like I can go out there in a superhero costume and fight the metas. All I do is… see them and experience bad headaches. I could do without it entirely, to be honest."

"Seer!" Cisco came up with on the spot, totally unaffected by what he'd just heard, while everyone else seemed to be silently judging him. "No? How about Psychic, then?" He wasn't giving up.

"You're actually closer to being a psychic yourself with your visions of the future. I'm merely seeing something, and then I'm struck with a headache. It's nothing worth naming." She shrugged again.

"How about Struck, then? Huh? What do you say? Great one, isn't it?!" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

In response, Rachel only sighed. "If you, guys, are in the field and somehow need my help, and you absolutely need a codename, then fine... you can call me that, but…" she frowned, thinking about it some more, "since my visions don't come simply because I wish them to, I guess it won't happen. End of discussion," she added, as she already saw Cisco opening his mouth.

"Just let it go," Barry warned his friend, backing her up before heading for the exit.

"Barry, wait! Can I talk to you for a second?" Rachel ran after him, earning herself a curious look from Caitlin, but she ignored it. "Barry?" She finally caught up with him outside of the cortex.

He turned to her slowly, wearing the same expressionless face he'd been showing for the last couple of days—ever since he'd returned from Earth Two, to be precise.

"Barry, what's wrong?" she asked with care in her voice, and somehow, that seemed to have caused him to close off even more. "You know you can talk to me if you feel the need to, don't you?" she made sure.

"Everything's fine," he dismissed her worries, but she could tell that he was lying to her. Something clearly bothered him—something he refused to tell her.

"Barry, please… If this has something to do with Zoom… maybe I can try and look into where he is now, and…"

"No!" he denied quickly and sharply. "Rachel, I don't need you to meddle here, okay? Zoom's extremely dangerous, and he almost kidnapped you once before. Don't ever try to check on him. Besides, your visions don't come because you wish them to, right? You said it yourself. Let's keep it that way."

"But then..."

"I'm fine." He wouldn't let her say anything more. "I just… I need to go and deal with King Shark." And he was, indeed, gone.

Rachel watched him leave with a sad expression on her face, her heart aching. She couldn't really explain why she felt this way. Her goal was to keep him at a distance, so technically, she should be happy when he wasn't around her. Then again, she missed him. The problem was that when he was close, it got even worse. And she couldn't—nor wanted to—try and understand this. All she knew was that something had happened on Earth Two that he wasn't telling them about.

When the team dealt with King Shark, there was a significant change in mood. Barry still looked as if something huge troubled him, but at least he decided to act again. He wanted to find a way to defeat Zoom once and for all, and they all supported him in this decision, because they couldn't just leave the other Earth at the mercy of a monster.

It all began a long week of the Flash vigorously training under the watchful eye of Harry, and with the help of Cisco and Caitlin, the latter having also recently spent a lot of time with Jesse. The girl, already holding five majors at the age of 19, one of which was biochemistry—Caitlin's area of expertise—was very curious about the doctor's work.

Rachel wasn't spending so much time at the Labs these days, busy going over the last details regarding her newest book release, and now finally having chosen a cover. She only showed up again on Friday afternoon, finding the entire team exhausted and in serious need of a break. Cisco suggested they go clubbing, and Jesse grew very excited at the idea, ready to fight her father over it if she had to. Rachel, however, actually contemplated returning home and watching Netflix or reading a good book while sipping red wine.

"Whaaat?! No! No! No! You are going with us!" Cisco insisted once she mentioned she would maybe simply pass.

"But… it's not really my style. I'm not a person who goes clubbing and has fun while doing so…" she began protesting, not sure what to do.

Only then, Barry chipped in, encouraging, "You don't need to dance. No one will force you. Just… come along. Spend some quality time with us."

He'd been going through a pretty rough patch, and the training had also started taking a toll on him, so she yielded, but made sure she wouldn't have to dance all the same. She didn't mind dancing with the right partner, but moving along to some awful techno club music was a no-go for her.

While in the club—which, in the end, wasn't as bad, since Rachel could actually hear a conversation at the bar end of it—she ended up hanging out with Barry by one of the tables, chatting while sipping drinks as they were watching the dance floor. They laughed a bit about how enthusiastic a dancer Cisco had turned out to be, and then, Rachel spotted Caitlin dancing so close to Jesse that they could actually appear to be dancing together.

"Hmm…" she murmured under her breath.

"Something wrong?" Barry asked, picking up on her tone and frowning.

"Nothing, really… It's just… Look at Cait and Jesse. Do they seem very cozy together to you?"

Barry followed the direction Rachel pointed out for him—the two women were dancing even closer now, their eyes locked together.

"I'd be damned... It kind of looks like Jesse's into girls," he commented. "I mean… is Caitlin only into men, or...? Because if so, this could be good for both of them."

"They're both certainly extremely smart and interested in the same topics. There's just one problem… or maybe two," Rachel listed, and Barry shifted his eyes back to her in curiosity. "First—Harry. Second—Jesse is a bit younger than Caitlin."

"And how much of a difference was there between you and Eobard?"

"Well, point taken, but I was twenty-three when I started dating him. Jesse is still nineteen."

"Almost twenty, from what I heard, and she's very mature for her age."

"Just because she's so smart and already years ahead of her peers, doesn't necessarily need to go hand in hand with emotional maturity," Rachel still argued. "I really want Caitlin to be happy. She deserves it. But I don't want her to deal with Harry's wrath or Jesse just having her experiences."

"I think you're worrying too much. Just let whatever is meant to happen, happen," Barry advised.

"Okay, fine, let's talk about something else then. How are you? I heard this week's been tough on you."

For a moment, he didn't say anything, but then he finally admitted it, "I'm doing my best to become at least as fast as Zoom is, so I can take him this time, but… I don't know. I'm a bit disappointed with the progress I'm making."

"Maybe you're simply overworked. That was the whole point of going out today, wasn't it?"

"Yes and no. I mean… I think… Rachel, this will probably sound strange, but… um…" He seemed to really want to say something, but wasn't sure whether he even should.

"What is it?" She frowned, trying to figure out where he was going with this, and hoping it wasn't too personal, since she really couldn't know how she would react to that.

"I'm sorry if this sounds off, but… I think what I need in order to get faster is… well… you."

"What?!" She gasped, not understanding what he meant at all—or grossly misunderstanding, as her mind was already bombarded with dozens of scenarios about what he could possibly mean, all ending like always—with him dying in the end.

"I mean… you… you give me strength," he confessed, looking her in the eye and then shifting his gaze immediately after. "You make me believe I can really do all of this… It's awkward to say, but it's true." His eyes met hers again, and she suddenly felt way too warm. "You did help me when I faced Grodd, remember? You were there, you talked to me, and it really helped me. It was thanks to you that I could fight him off. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that you belong at S.T.A.R. Labs. Whether you have a vision or not, you are a vital member of the team now, and there are many things I wouldn't be able to do without you."

"Barry…" She had no idea what to actually say to that. She didn't know where this was going—or didn't want to. And just then, her eyes wandered to Caitlin and Jesse once more. "Oh my god!" she nearly exclaimed, seeing that they looked like they were about to kiss.

In that very moment, her head exploded in pain, showing her a meta who was running just as fast as the Flash could.

"Rachel? Rachel, what is it?! What do you see?! Are you okay?!" Barry's voice was full of concern, and she could feel his hands on her arms now… People screamed as they all felt a rush of air, and then Barry was gone as well. She could only assume that the meta had already attacked this very club and that the Flash had chased after them.

A lot happened following the meta club attack, and Rachel was relieved and happy that Barry didn't have the time to get back to their conversation. She was even happier when he described the way Trajectory—the new evil speedster in town—disintegrated into nothing from a speed drug overdose. It was the very same drug Caitlin and Harry had been working on, trying to find the right formula to help Barry himself.

"Listen, if you want me to be there for you—done," Rachel informed the Flash right after she heard what had happened. "I'm going to be there and give you the strength you need to become faster, to defeat Zoom. I do have one condition, though. You saw what happened to Trajectory. You have to promise me you will never,ever, reach for any kind of speed drug. Promise me," she emphasized, as the memory of the multiple visions she'd already had—each one the same—constantly haunted her whenever she saw Barry, whenever she let herself get closer to him. She still had no way of knowing what would eventually cause his death, but she could at least rule outthis.

"Okay, yeah, I promise," he assured her, a strange and confused expression on his face. "I won't ever take the drug, Rachel, you have my word."

Caitlin was finally free to go home after a long night, which had actually turned into the next day, and relax. It had been absolutely horrible not to be able to help her old colleague and then to find out that she'd died. Her head was also clouded by what had been happening lately and how it made her feel. She had a lot to figure out. Like a lot.

Barely had she entered her apartment and taken off her coat when someone knocked.

She was surprised, not really expecting anyone, and her only guess was that maybe it was Rachel wanting to talk.

However, when the doctor opened the door, she didn't see her friend. She saw Jesse Wells with a backpack instead.

"Jesse," Caitlin gasped, her eyes opening wide, her heart thumping wildly in her chest as heat hit her cheeks.

"I… I can't stay with my dad any longer. I found out… I found out a lot about him that I don't really like. The things he was willing to do… the things he did do to get me back…"

"Jesse, everyone would have done the same in his shoes. He was just trying to save the only person he had left."

"But he has more people he cares about now. He has team Flash. And I need a break. I need… I need to figure out who I am and where my place in this world is."

"And you're sure here is best for that?" Caitlin asked. "Jesse, I… What's been recently happening… I'm not sure…" she hesitated.

"Cait, I'm almost twenty years old. Don't treat me like a child, okay?"

"I just…"

"Can I please stay here with you?" the younger woman interrupted.

"Well, of course you can, but…"

"Good." After that, Jesse walked inside and closed the door before she faced Caitlin again. "Now, I think we were interrupted somewhere. Oh, yes, it was right here." The last words she nearly whispered as she cupped Caitlin's face and then pressed her lips against hers.

At first, Cait was so taken aback that she didn't have the time to think or react, so the moment the other girl's mouth rested upon hers, she was lost. She could be lying to herself and to everyone else, but the truth was that she did have a thing for Jesse, and it was both terrifying and thrilling to her.

Jesse pushed forward, forcing Caitlin to walk backward until her back hit the wall, then began kissing the pulse on her neck, while her hands slid down to cup…

"Jesse!" Caitlin finally woke up and grabbed the younger woman by the wrists, preventing her from fully resting them on her breasts. And that was something she wasn't sure she could ever come back from... "We can't just…"

"Why not? We're both interested."

"For starters, your father… Oh my god, your father…" Cait closed her eyes hard, remembering her own affair with Harrison Wells from this Earth—no, wait—Eobard Thawne. No one except Rachel knew about it, but it was beyond disturbing that a doppelganger of his had a daughter that was now standing right in front of her…

"That's so not what I want to hear right now," Jesse protested, folding her arms across her chest. "We have feelings for each other. I'm an adult. What's the problem?"

"Have you… dated anyone before?"

"Yes."

"How about sex?" Caitlin asked bravely, and with that, she seemed to have hit the bull's-eye. "We can't just jump straight into bed, Jesse."

"What should I wait for? Marriage?"

"No, but you should take it easy." It did cross Cait's mind that she herself hadn't exactly taken it easy in college—or lately—but that was another story. "Please, feel at home, but this…" she pointed to herself and then to Wells's daughter, "whatever this is, we can talk about it later."

The door to Caitlin's bedroom opened and then closed, the sound of bare feet hitting the ground.

She was already asleep, so she was very confused when she was awakened by an intruder, but...

"Oh my god! Jesse!" she exclaimed, shocked to see the girl getting into her bed completely naked. Then she swallowed. Hard. Because she'd already caught a glimpse of the younger woman's perky breasts…

"Just let go for once," Jesse shushed her, straddling her and pressing her lips against hers, kissing her gently, softly, before her tongue prodded at Caitlin's lips and her hands finally cupped and massaged the offered breasts.

In the end, there seemed to be no other alternative but to give in.

Cait flipped them around and kissed Jesse properly, the way she really wanted to. Her hands were already on the breasts again, massaging, running the tips of her fingers over the hardened nipples before her mouth descended and she devoured them, sucking hard, causing the girl to arch her back and moan in sudden pleasure.

"Yes… yes, Caitlin…" Jesse called her name softly, her voice full of ecstasy.

No further invitation was needed, as Cait abandoned all her caution. She kissed Jesse again and again, her hand on one of the breasts while the other went down, down to the girl's crotch, and she dipped a finger, making her moan and writhe underneath her, and causing her own self to tremble with desire so strong…

"Can you…" Jesse suddenly started, now playing with Caitlin's breasts, her lips tasting the buds, tongue flickering, driving the older woman absolutely mad. "Can you… take it, Cait? It doesn't need to be a man, right?"

Snow realized what she meant, and her stomach fluttered even more.

"Are you sure…?"

Jesse nodded silently, panting hard.

"Okay…"

It wasn't something Caitlin had ever done, but it shouldn't be that hard, should it? She began gently fingering Jesse, inserting a second finger and already feeling her small channel tight around her. She didn't want it to be particularly painful, and she wasn't sure how deep she should push, but she would figure it out as she went.

"It may hurt a bit. I might need to stretch you a bit more, go deeper," she warned, lowering herself so she could take a good look.

"Do it," Jesse panted, her body quivering in need, and then Caitlin pushed deeper and harder, adding yet another finger, almost feeling it, eventually pushing more and more in until… Jesse moaned, not particularly in pleasure, or pain—it was more of a surprise, and Caitlin's hand came out bloody.

She quickly pressed her lips to Jesse's clit and sucked gently before licking a bit and then sucking again, until Jesse exploded in pleasure, screaming Caitlin's name as she came.

After a few days of trying to figure out how to open a breach to get to Zoom and how to set a trap for him, they'd already achieved two small successes. Barry and Harry suspected that, since Cisco's doppelganger on Earth Two had possessed the same powers and had been able to tap into the multidimensional vibrations, Cisco should be able to open a breach to any Earth he wanted—Rachel did ask whether they'd met her doppelganger as well, but she was met with a resounding no. Next, they found out that Zoom's real identity was Hunter Zolomon, which helped them search for just the right triggers for him.

And it worked. It really worked there for a while.

Right until Zoom broke free—the device holding him in place proving insufficient—and he was gone in a flash…

…running straight to Rachel's apartment and snatching her, Barry not there to help her this time.

All the Earth One speedster could do in the end was come back to the cortex, scream in frustration, and kick a chair so hard that he sent it flying into the wall.

"Allen!" Harry raised his voice, trying to bring the younger man back to his senses. "What happened? Did he escape?"

"No, not just escaped," Cisco said slowly, recognizing the look in his friend's eyes. "He did much more than that."

"He took her!" Barry yelled, placing his hands on his head in a hopeless gesture as he turned around. "He took Rachel!"

Jesse and Caitlin both opened their eyes wide, sharing a look.

"I thought I could stop him…" the Flash murmured, now pacing around the room, "and I was wrong, and he took the one thing I…" he abruptly cut off, his hands forming fists before falling to his sides. "He left a message in her apartment. He wants my speed for Rachel."

"Barry, you can't give him your speed," Harry immediately protested. "Then we will be truly powerless against him."

"We already are! I already am!" the speedster screamed again, anguish clear on his face. "If something happens to her… I… No, I can't let him hurt her! My speed isn't worth it! And then, who's going to be next?! Jesse again?! You?! Cisco?! Caitlin?!" Barry turned to Wells, and that effectively shut the man up. "Let's not forget how desperate you were when he had your daughter! You almost stole my speed for him yourself!"

"Can we at least think about all of this?" Cisco gently suggested. "Maybe we can find a solution… a way to track them… to get Rachel back."

"He's probably already taken her to Earth Two to his lair. And there are probably other metas at his every beck and call. I will never be able to help her with him constantly on my ass. Not before he kills her. This is the only way. Cisco, you need to deliver the message. Please, use your powers and tell him I'm gonna do it."

Rachel was terrified, having been kidnapped by a monster that filled her with nothing but pure terror and then dropped in a dark cell that she could only assume was the same place Jesse had been kept on Earth Two.

She didn't seem to be there for long, though, as after only a few minutes, he grabbed her again, and she was suddenly standing in… the cortex.

"Barry!" she screamed the man's name when she saw him and then spotted the rest of the team. Something didn't add up. Something was seriously wrong. How came Zoom had just brought her back? Unless… "No!" she protested as Barry faced their enemy, while Harry grabbed her arm and pulled her aside, away from the line of fire. "Barry, you can't make a deal with him!" she cried out.

"I have to. It's the only way to keep you and every member of this team safe," he responded in a strangely calm voice—or maybe a defeated one—his decision already made.

For the next few minutes, Rachel was forced to watch him hit the treadmill in order to transfer his speed to Zoom, growing slower and slower with every passing second, while the percentage level climbed higher and higher until it reached 100%.

That was the moment the Flash collapsed in exhaustion, unable to run at all anymore, and Rachel couldn't stand being kept in the back any longer. She managed to yank herself free from the hold Harry still had on her.

"Barry, are you okay?! Barry!"

He was lying on the floor, breathing heavily—maybe even barely alive—and with sweat covering his face, while Zoom charged himself with the speed and immediately disappeared.

"It's gone," was all Rachel heard from the former speedster, his voice low and hoarse, and all she could do in response was put her arms around him, giving him whatever comfort she could, even though she knew it wasn't much.

*struck can have many meanings. Can be a metahuman name. Can be struck by lightning. Can be struck by love.

The team didn't seem able to catch a break, as, again, the following days were hard on everyone—especially on Barry, who suddenly found himself without his speed. He didn't really talk to anyone at the moment, needing time to adjust, and his friends did their best to give it to him. They were all still living in fear—now maybe even greater—as they'd lost the Flash. Zoom might've been currently quiet, but they were sure he would eventually return. Yes, the monster had indeed promised not to harm them in exchange for Barry's speed, but even if they chose to believe the word of a psychopath, there were still so many other people just in Central City alone—not to mention on both Earths. Zoom had to be stopped—they just didn't know how to achieve that yet.

"Your dad is so going to kill me," Caitlin said one morning, waking up next to Jesse. While taking some time off from the Labs, she spent more of it with the other woman, and she enjoyed it immensely, actually growing real feelings. There was only one problem—or maybe two: the obvious being Harrison Wells, and the latter Jesse being from another Earth—one that she'd really wanted to go back to not so long ago.

"Can we please not bring my dad into this? That's such a turn-off," she complained before reaching for Caitlin and kissing her, while her hand went under the cover and played with her nipple. "What's the big deal anyway? I'm a grown-up," she asked before getting up.

"To a person like Harrison Wells? It is a big deal if his daughter starts to date a female scientist who's much older than she is and, on top of that, from another Earth." Also—though Caitlin didn't even dare to say that aloud—she was thankful that none of the Wellses had so far figured out her past dalliances. And was that even relevant, since it'd happened such a long time ago and meant nothing? She'd simply been young, stupid, and irresponsible once.

"Is that really a thing on your Earth? On mine, no one cares if you date a man or a woman."

"No one's supposed to care here anymore either, but… there's still the fact that you're so young," Cait argued.

"Like eight years makes such a big difference?" Jesse shot her a look, sitting down and then reaching for her clothes.

"It all does when it comes to your father. You didn't see him when you were gone. He was beyond himself, doing all kinds of crazy things and being absolutely insufferable."

"What crazy things?" The young Wells grew curious as she stood up on her side of the bed and then circled it in order to get to Caitlin's. "Is there something I don't know about? Well, obviously, except for him actually willing to kill in order to save me," she pointed out.

"I think everyone would be capable of that if the only person they had left was taken by a psycho meta killer, but… I'm not sure if I should even tell you this… Well… he had a little… thing... with Rachel."

"Whaat?!" Jesse's eyes grew wide. "But that's awesome! She's much younger than he is! That's so much more of an age difference than between you and me…"

"No, Jesse." Caitlin shook her head. "It was a mess, and it didn't mean anything. They were both trying to cope in their own ways with the horrible things that happened to them. All they'll ever be is friends."

"Well, I'm just trying to be happy here, and right now, you are what makes me happy," Jesse told Caitlin as she reached for her hands. "And I'm not afraid of my father finding out."

"But I am…" Cait sighed.

If Jesse and Caitlin thought they would eventually have to have a talk with Harry—and not a very pleasant one—that day, thankfully, hadn't arrived yet.

The first thing they heard upon arriving at the Labs that day was that Wells knew how to recreate the particle accelerator explosion in order to give Barry his speed back. He claimed to have read through his predecessor's research and figured out exactly what kind of chemical compounds they needed, how much power, and even how to contain the explosion itself.

"You cannot possibly promise that it won't affect the city!" Cisco exclaimed in horror. "Again!" he then added pointedly. "Man, you already tried it on your Earth, and you failed!"

"Exactly," Harrison agreed with a nod. "So now I know what not to do. I promise you, Ramon… Barry," he turned to the former speedster once more, "I can do this. You can have your speed back, and then you can fight Zoom. There is no other way, and we all know it."

"No," came the loud and clear reply from Rachel, who was standing a little further back, listening with a frown on her face and her arms folded across her chest. "No, you're not doing this. It's too risky!"

"Rachel, this might really be the only way…" Barry started, turning to her.

"No. I refuse to believe that. And even if, why do you need it back so badly? Can't you just be… normal again?" Her voice suddenly took on a pleading tone, which caused the man to frown.

"Rachel…" he repeated her name, this time in a softer tone, "why are you really against this idea? It can help me. It can save the whole city—even both of our Earths."

"But what about you? You're going to risk everything, like you always do."

"Because it's what heroes do." It was as if the answer were obvious to him, as if there were no other alternative. And there wasn't—at least not for Barry, because, yes, he was a hero, not a villain. And he couldn't help but risk everything to help, even at the expense of his own life—or especially then.

She shook her head and then she suddenly turned around, heading straight for the exit.

"I… what…?" Barry was left confused, scratching his head, unable to decide whether he should go after her or stay and talk things over with Wells.

"She'll be okay. I'll take care of this," Caitlin offered, seeing how torn up he was, and she followed her friend out of the cortex. "Rachel?" She caught up with her by the elevators.

"Are you happy with Jesse?" her friend asked, suddenly shocking Caitlin. "I'm not blind, Cait, as all of those men in there seem to be. I know she's been staying with you, and I added two and two together. Are you happy?" she repeated her initial question.

"Um… so far, yes, yes, I am."

"You know very well that if Barry gets his speed back, we open the breaches, and defeat Zoom… nothing will stand in the way of Jesse and Harry going back to their own Earth."

"Even if, that is not my choice to make. Besides, who says we can't make things work anyway? Why don't you just be honest with yourself and Barry and tell him the real reason you're so upset? The real reason you don't want him to get his powers back?"

"I can't," Rachel barely uttered, choking on her own words. "If I tell him this… if I say it out loud… he'll know."

"Know what? That you care? Trust me, I think he already does."

"No. He'll know that I care too much. And if he sees this window open, I might not be strong enough to close it again, and then, one day, I will wake up to a world without the Flash. Without Barry. Just like every single morning I need to wake up to a world without the Harrison Wells I fell for. And that isn't even the worst, Cait—the memory of his betrayal is." After that, Rachel left, leaving her friend watching her with a sad expression on her face.

In the end, it turned out that Barry wasn't actually sure himself whether to go through with what Wells had planned or not. He even brought his father, Henry Allen, to the Labs in search of support. Rachel decided not to tell him what to do anymore, but was still silently hoping he would do nothing, at the moment simply honored to finally meet the man whose welcome-home (and out-of-prison) party she'd missed before.

"Oh, so you are the famous Rachel!" Henry exclaimed, shaking her hand and looking at her with a huge smile.

"Barry talked about me?" she gasped in surprise.

"Of course he did! You're a big part of his life… Are you okay, dear?" Dr. Allen immediately grew concerned upon seeing the worried look on her face.

"I'm just afraid something could go wrong when it comes to Barry getting his powers back, is all," she explained. "This whole process… it seems too risky." It wasn't her place to scare Henry with her vision, since she hadn't even told his son.

"Me, too," he immediately admitted. "Only, as Barry wisely said—it's not our decision to make."

"I know he might seem like he's hesitating, but he's a hero at heart. I don't really believe he will choose any differently in the end."

"Ah, yes, there you are probably right. Still, we will need to wait and see, won't we? In the meantime, I also did hear you are a writer!"

"Oh, Mr. Allen…" Rachel felt a bit intimidated, wondering how much this man already knew about her. It seemed like Barry had really shared a lot, and she didn't know what to think or—worse, even—what his dad did.

Luckily or unluckily for her, they were interrupted by an alarm sounding in the cortex, as the news reported a sighting of Zoom—and the murder of a dozen cops.

There was no stopping Barry now, that much Rachel was sure of.

The procedure itself seemed very complicated, though Harry assured them all that he had everything under control. Cisco headed to the roof with a conductor, as they needed a lightning, whereas Wells was ready with his machinery and various chemicals that had entered Barry's system the night of the particle accelerator explosion. The man in question was already inside, strapped tight.

"Barry…" Rachel started, not really knowing what to say, or how she should even feel, as she met his eyes, wishing for numbness to devour her, shielding her.

"I'll be all right. I promise," he told her, but none of them could truly be sure of that.

Aside from them, only Joe and Henry were present, Caitlin and Jesse working on something in the doctor's lab.

"Ready?" Wells asked, and Barry nodded, his jaw clenched tight. He seemed to be putting on a brave face, but Rachel knew him better than that. He was scared. Everyone would be in his shoes.

Harry pushed a button, and the chemicals started being injected into the younger man's body with a sickening sound, each new one causing him to flinch, and before Rachel herself managed to open her mouth in protest, it was Allen senior who asked whether that was really necessary.

Everything had to be exactly as it had been the night of the explosion—Harry had to repeat, and with the last chemical injected, he called out to Cisco on the roof to hurry up with the lightning, since Barry's body had started reacting to the substances.

The next thing they knew, there was an explosion as the lightning hit and was conducted down through Barry. This time, he couldn't stop himself, and he did scream in pain.

All of that began bringing up images that Rachel so did not need, and… and then her eyes opened wide, as she was now watching the same thing happening to Barry in the present. It was no longer a vision—his body… his body...

"BARRY!" she screamed, reacting without thinking of the danger ahead, and she threw herself forward, stopped just in time by Harry, who caught her and held on to her, preventing her from unforeseen injuries—most likely death—had she been hit by both the dark matter and the lightning.

There was a lot of smoke after it all stopped, a burnt smell filling the air, and...

"Where is he?!" Henry screamed in desperation. "Where is my son?!"

All that was left was a part of Barry's singed suit.

They could all only stand there and stare, not believing their own eyes. Rachel would've collapsed, not feeling her legs anymore, if it hadn't been for Harry, who was still supporting her.

"Did it work?!" Cisco called out to them as he came back. "What happened?" he quickly followed upon seeing their faces.

"I'm sorry…" Wells murmured, finally letting go of Rachel, who slid down to the floor, her nervous system overrun with emotions she didn't want or need, wondering how on earth it could still hurt so much. She hadn't allowed herself to get close enough to Barry, yet… here she was—her vision coming true. The worst thought of all was that she might've maybe prevented it from happening if only she'd told him the truth in time, if only she'd warned him.

Suddenly, they heard Caitlin screaming Jesse's name, which prompted Wells to immediately run in that direction. Then Zoom showed up, laughing at them for killing the Flash instead of giving him his speed back, and disappearing shortly after.

"No!" Cisco screamed in disbelief. "No, he isn't gone! He can't be!"

"Cisco…" Joe's feeble voice sounded, but the younger man only shook his head and went over to what was left of the Flash's suit. The moment he touched it, his eyes opened wide, and there was something on his face that brought Rachel back to the present moment and helped her get on her feet again. "He's alive. I can see him!"

This day was already too much for everyone present. Rachel was barely holding on, putting all of her efforts into shutting down the emotions threatening to force their violent way out—starting with thinking that Barry had died and that her vision had come true, then blaming herself, thinking that she could've been stronger, faced it head-on, and maybe prevented it from happening altogether, to grieving, and then finally hearing the wonderful news that hope was not yet lost, that Barry was indeed alive, only trapped in the Speedforce. Could it be that her vision didn't mean actual death? That it wasn't really final? Still, even if it made her very happy for a brief moment, she quickly remembered all the threats still out there: Zoom, and all the other villains that would surely come after, if he didn't end Barry himself.

At the moment, she struggled to pay attention to what Cisco was saying, as he was thinking out loud, trying to find a way to get Barry back using his powers. The yelling that came from the corridor didn't make it any easier—Harry was clearly furious with Caitlin, and Rachel could only assume the young doctor was too worried about her new girlfriend and had accidentally exposed herself.

"YOU AND MY DAUGHTER?!" Wells's scream carried, and Cisco stopped talking for a moment, shocked to finally figure that one out.

In the end, they all gathered in the lab where they'd put unconscious Jesse and decided who and what would go next—Caitlin and Dr. Allen would work on getting the girl to wake up, whereas Harry and Cisco were supposed to figure out a way to help Barry.

At first, Wells sent Ramon to the same spot where Barry had been standing when the dark matter had hit him, but even though the younger man could still see his friend, he could not get him back.

"It's not enough. We're missing something… we…" Harry gasped, suddenly focusing his gaze on Rachel. "You." He pointed at her.

"Um… What do you mean?" she frowned. "How canI possibly help?"

"Yours and Cisco's powers are far from being the same; however, they are quite similar. I'm pretty sure we can do this as long as you two join forces and work together."

"But how?" Rachel was even more baffled by the idea. "I don't have magic goggles. I can't just summon my powers at will, and even if, how would it help us now? We know where Barry is."

"What I mean is that you should hold on to Cisco and let him take you to the Speed Force. And then you can get Barry back yourself. He will return with you. I'm sure of it."

Rachel didn't ask why exactly Wells was so sure, as she'd rather avoid that particular topic at all costs. She simply listened instead, going over to Cisco and taking his offered hand.

It happened in an instant, and she was absolutely unprepared for it—once their powers combined, it somehow propelled her forward so fast, that even though it was only happening in her head, she had the impression she was moving with speed matching Barry's.

Suddenly, she was in the Speed Force, seeing nothing but particles swirling around, and standing on nothing yet somehow remaining upright and still.

Barry was there in his Flash suit, which seemed weird to her, since it'd nearly burnt to a crisp.

"Barry!" she called out to him, forgetting her own distress and simply being happy to see him alive and well. "Barry! Come home with me!" she encouraged, reaching out her hand to him.

She quickly discovered she couldn't really move; therefore, she was unable to take a step in his direction, but her hand seemed to be enough. He grasped it, looking at her in awe, shocked that she'd found a way there. The moment she felt his touch, it became electrifying, and the ground was instantly back underneath their feet—they were back at the Labs.

Yet, the burnt suit, the danger, Zoom—it all reminded her why Barry had gone through with the dangerous procedure in the first place—because he was a hero. He would always be one.

Rachel was in desperate need of a break and fresh air, feeling as though she was suffocating. The Flash was currently busy waking Jesse up, so she sneaked out of the Labs, somehow ending up running.

Heroes died.

How much of a fool had he been… What had he done…

Barry still had trouble wrapping his mind around it.

He'd truly thought he could have it all, that running back in time and saving his mother would fix everything, that he deserved it after losing his father, but he'd only screwed up more… He hadn't really had much in the way of expectations in the first place, as he could never have a guarantee that the people he wanted to keep in his life would still be there, but... upon coming back to the future after letting Reverse Flash kill his mother yet again just to fix things, he found himself in an even bigger mess.

Who's the villain now, Flash?! Who's the villain?! Thawne's words kept echoing in his head. Yes, he'd made the wrong choice and destroyed so much—he'd done things he didn't even want to think about and wasn't sure he could tell anyone, since he was simply afraid they would hate him for it. He was afraid everyone he cared about would turn their back on him. He'd played god and gotten screwed. And if only it were about his own life...

The memories of the other timeline he'd created were haunting him, burnt into his mind—memories ofFlashpoint. He didn't want them, as they were too painful, but he was cursed with them all the same. To see them together again…

He knew he would eventually have to come clean with the team. No matter how much he loved to just pretend that nothing had happened and everything was all right, he knew he couldn't lie to them, or hide this—for the sheer reason that this wasn't who he was. They deserved to know, and he would go down a path he didn't want to take if he kept quiet—he would become someone else.

That was exactly why Barry Allen was facing his friends, sharing the awful news. It was the least he owed them. He also offered to tell them what their lives had been like in the other timeline, but warned that it wouldn't help or change anything, since they were not real. Not that this helpedhim shake it all off.

When he'd left to save his mother, Rachel had been fine. She'd actually been more open toward him than ever before, and even though he'd noticed, he'd been too overwhelmed with his grief and the pain it carried to take a moment and realize what had been happening. He'd thought he would get to meet her again in the other timeline, with no powers, no visions, no fear, no… no Wells. How wrong he had been…

She entered the cortex together with Caitlin, looking dreadfully pale and feeling very self-conscious once Barry's eyes grew wide and he asked what had happened.

"Is this supposed to be funny, Barry?" she retorted.

"You know well that her visions have been getting worse, and she needs constant treatments here," Cait defended her friend, shooting Barry the absolute opposite of a nice look.

"Where's Jesse?" he asked next—another clearly idiotic question, as he wanted to wait for the younger woman before he told them the truth.

Apparently, Jesse had left for Earth Two, as something bad had happened there between the women.

It all gave Barry a headache, and for a moment, he truly considered not saying anything, out of fear. He was afraid they would hate him. He was afraid they would tell him the awful truth, something he suspected had already happened—that he'd destroyed their lives. Then again, things hadn't looked so promising in the other timeline, either…

Still, if he kept quiet, he would become someone he wouldn't like, someone he could never be proud of. So, he took a deep breath and, with his heart beating wildly in his chest, he finally told them, but he couldn't go into details—he wasn't even sure it would help anything. In the end, he simply left them with a choice: to know, or not.

It seemed like the team needed a moment to come to terms with what they'd heard, all of them more or less angry, and Barry couldn't really blame them. All he could do was continue being the hero he was—or become one again, considering his actions. He could only work on becoming a better man and a better Flash from now on, and hope—just hope—that with time, his friends could actually forgive him.

It was Rachel whom he spotted turning to leave first, her hand pressed against her temple as she walked slowly.

"Wait… I just wanted… I… Rachel, if there's something you need…" He was at a loss for words once he made his way toward her. Seeing her in this state was too much for him, and he was hit with a tremendous amount of guilt yet again. Somehow, he'd managed to hurt the one person he would die for, the one he would do anything for. And he truly would. He would've let her be in Flashpoint so she could be happy, regardless of whether it was with him or not, but… His chest painfully tightened at the thought of the other timeline. He had to help her now. He just had no idea how, especially if even Caitlin, being a doctor, was struggling at this point.

"Well, I hope my life in that… Flashpoint... was better than the one I'm having here right now," she said, her voice a bit bitter, but also very tired. "Tell me, Barry, was I at least happy there?"

He opened his mouth, not really knowing what—or even how—to say it.

"What? You did say we could ask, and you'd be honest with us. What are you waiting for, then?" she prompted, growing angry.

"Rachel…" he started, and came to another helpless stop, followed by a heavy sigh.

"I bet it was better than me having excruciating migraines one after the other, while being constantly bombarded with images of metahumans. That ain't fun, and it's been going on ever since I joined my powers with Cisco's and rescued you from the Speedforce, by the way. Barry, I'm not able to sit still and write anymore. I can't even do my absolute favorite thing in the world. But you know what the worst part is? I seeyou all the time. Dying in agony. Over and over again."

She didn't look angry anymore. It seemed she was beyond exhausted, not having the energy to hold a particularly strong emotion for long. His insides quite literally twisted when he noticed the horribly dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was also not freshly dyed, the dark roots showing, betraying her inability to function normally.

"I have better days and worse days, and today is not so good. I needed to immediately come here for Caitlin's treatment, which, by the way, isn't working so well anymore. So, I think you at least owe me the answer to my question."

"You…" he started slowly, nearly choking on the words. However, he knew that she was right, a pained expression clear on his face as he looked aside for a moment. "You were engaged to Harrison Wells—what else?" The last bit just slipped out; he was so exasperated with the person of Wells—of any Earth, really—by now, by the connection they shared, and the visions Rachel had been having of himself—of the Flash dying.

"Oh," she gasped, her mouth parting in clear surprise. "Was it…?"

"The real Harrison Wells? Yes. But here's the kicker—his wife died, and he found love again with you. And then I came into the picture and suddenly you were confused about everything, yet I knew you would never leave him. He'd been through so much that you'd never dare to break his heart. I mean... you did have feelings for him… I... I'm sorry… I just…" Barry shook his head, blinking a bit faster now.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have screwed with our lives," Rachel hinted, her voice growing bitter. "Or maybe… you should've just stayed in Flashpoint." There it was—the painful jab he'd anticipated. It didn't hurt any less, though. That one last thing, the very reason for it all… that he couldn't bring himself to tell her.

"You don't mean that…" he tried in desperation.

"I don't know what I mean anymore… but right now, a life without betrayal and without excruciating pain every single day sounds good to me. You aren't god, Barry. You never were. What did you think would happen? That you'd get to keep your parents, deal with the Reverse Flash, get the girl, and be on your merry way to a happily-ever-after?! It clearly doesn't work like that, and it's also not fair for one person gifted with such extraordinary abilities to manipulate time however he sees fit! You can't do that to people! You can't just play with human lives like this!" she yelled at him, her anger returning, as tears filled her eyes, breaking his heart, which was already shattered to pieces anyway.

"I didn't know… Rachel…" he began to plead.

"We all have to deal with the consequences and learn from our mistakes!" she went on, unhindered, not hearing him, or not caring anymore about his excuses and how sorry he was. "You can't just erase them and create even more!"

"Yeah… yes…" he agreed, hanging his head low. "Jay told me as much."

"Well, he was damn right! And once you did what you did, you really should've stayed! For me, it looks like everyone had a better life over there!"

"No, they…" Barry closed his eyes, barely fighting tears, forcing himself to take a ragged breath before continuing, "Yes, maybe you're right. Maybe I should've stayed, but then, you wouldn't have been alive." There it was—there was the truth he'd tried to hide from her in order to spare her.

Silence fell over them as Rachel processed what he'd said.

"What…? I… Did I…?" she eventually stammered.

"You want the whole truth? You want to know why I came back to this timeline?! It's because you were the Flash in Flashpoint! You were always the one running straight into danger! How's that for bitter irony!?" he finally revealed the biggest secret of them all.

The team, still present in the cortex, fell silent, but now seemed somehow forgotten behind them.

"You were the Flash, and you got hurt, and you…" Barry shook his head, looking aside. His eyes were glassy. "There was no way to save you, Rachel. He tried. Harrison Wells tried. And I couldn't… I couldn't let you pay for my mistakes like this. I couldn't let you die so my parents could live, because… because that didn't seem like a fair trade. That was…"

"…a cruel twist of fate, indeed?" she finished for him. "Barry…" Suddenly, things did start to look a little bit different for her, and she needed to come to terms with what he'd just told her.

"And he was so devastated… to lose another woman he fell for…" the Flash continued. "It makes you think that all the Wellses are cursed when it comes to love. And I needed to watch it all happen."

"Barry…"

"I can't do this right now. I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry I really am. None of you do… Jesse leaving… your powers getting worse… Cis… ah, no, I can't." He sped off, unable to take it anymore and wishing to be somewhere far away in the mountains, so he could scream in frustration, so he could finally let it all out.

Rachel needed a few days away, welcoming the temporary lack of pain with huge relief. She even managed to finally visit her hairdresser, and now she showed up at the Labs, looking like the old, healthier version of herself, with pretty hair and makeup. She didn't believe it would last, though, so she knew she had to enjoy it.

If someone asked her, she wouldn't be able to say what her plan for the day truly was. She definitely wanted to talk to Barry, maybe spend some quality time with him, but she had no idea where that would lead them.

…And she would never know, because the alarm sounded almost immediately upon her arrival, and a breach opened up, from which… Harry and Jesse emerged, the latter clearly a speedster now.

Everyone fell silent, watching Caitlin, and then glancing back at Jesse, wondering what would come of it all…

However, as it quickly turned out, Jesse was against seeking help from team Flash of Earth One due to Caitlin pushing her away—so it was all her father's idea. Also, no one really knew what had happened between the women, with even Rachel being kept in the dark.

When she woke up, she was highly confused, since she didn't seem to be lying in her own bed. What was more, opening her eyes to the dawn of the day placed her directly at the Labs, with the anxious face of Harrison immediately hovering above her, a deep expression of relief washing all over it, his bright blue eyes full of hope, looking into her own as if…

Rachel woke up with a gasp, and then winced at the throbbing pain in her skull. Somehow, the dream she'd just had felt so different, so… real. It was almost like… No, she flatly refused to think of that—of how Barry had told her who she'd been in the other timeline, and what kind of a life she'd led there. Waking up at S.T.A.R. Labs to a very worried Harrison—Harrison so real and, at the same time, carrying an energy she hadn't encountered before, as he wasn't the Eobard she knew, nor the Harry from Earth Two...

For the first time in weeks, she was actually happy to receive a call from the Labs, asking for her presence. She hoped it wouldn't be something disturbing, though. She'd already accidentally overheard a heated conversation between Jesse and Caitlin earlier, the first accusing the latter of pushing her away for no reason whatsoever.

She was prepared for everything, obediently showing up in the cortex. After all, they'd heard the story of Barry coming back in time and creating Flashpoint not so long ago. Then again, she expected to hear anything, really—except this.

"I have powers," Caitlin revealed, presenting the ice stream flowing from the palms of her hands. Clearly, she'd been trying to hide it this entire time. It was also why she'd pushed Jesse away—she knew who Killer Frost on Earth Two was.

"But you aren't her," Rachel pointed out. "You're not Killer Frost. Just because you have these powers, it doesn't mean you're going to turn into her."

"That's what I told her," the young Wells backed her up. "And I also told her how incredibly stupid it was to push me away. I'm not afraid. I'm sticking by your side, Cait, and I promise you that we'll figure this out."

"I think I actually might turn into Killer Frost," Caitlin admitted her biggest fear, terrified of what she could do now, "but I'm willing to trust you, guys, and get the help I need. First thing we'll do," she turned to look at Jesse, "is go see my mother. She's been studying kryomedicine, and I think if anyone can help me, if anyone can figure out what's happening to me—it's going to be her."

"Let's do this. I'm not going back to Earth Two this time. I'm staying here," Jesse decided.

"What about you, Harry?" Cisco inquired the girl's father, who was present as well.

"I'm gonna head back to my Earth. There's still a lot I need to take care of. I did abandon my own S.T.A.R. Labs for far too long."

"But it would be so much fun for you to help us deal with our mess," Cisco argued, and they both laughed.

"Rachel…" Barry caught up with her right after the meeting. "Are you doing okay?"

"Well, as okay as I can be at the moment... which reminds me that I should probably catch Caitlin before she leaves. You know, because of my treatment."

"I just wanted to ask you... Have you been having… any weird dreams recently?"

Rachel came to a stop, frowning slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"Dreams where… you might have powers? Like speed?" he hinted.

"Um… you mean like in Flashpoint?"

"Exactly like that."

Barry did seem concerned, and she immediately thought of the one dream she'd had of waking up to Harrison after she'd been in a coma, but technically, she didn't have speed in it.

"Not really. Why?"

"You must've heard us talking about Dr. Alchemy?"

"Another ridiculously named by Cisco meta." She confirmed with a nod as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Though so far, I haven't had any visions of him."

"Maybe that's a good thing. People who had powers in Flashpoint and don't in this reality… they… they seem to have vivid dreams about it, and eventually are found by this Dr. Alchemy. Somehow, he can make it happen for them—give them powers, I mean. I just hope if you do dream about being a speedster…"

"Barry, honestly, even if I did, I don't want to have any more powers. I'm literally being driven crazy by sensing metas at the moment, so I cannot really see myself finding Alchemy and accepting whatever he has to offer. Don't worry, okay? Now, I really have to go and find Caitlin."

Rachel was lying in bed, hands covering her face.

She'd just had another dream—or maybe, rather, a memory of a life she'd had in Flashpoint. She could remember it clearly. Even more—she couldfeel it.

One moment, she'd been kissing Harrison—apparently the real one, as Barry had mentioned before—and the next, she'd had speed and been facing the Rival with Barry himself. The feeling it brought… it was truly indescribable. She felt free and electrified, as though nothing could ever touch her. Only, that was exactly her doom, because something did, and she ended up getting seriously hurt. Still, being out there with Barry, speeding with him—it was so…

No. Rachel refused to have speed on top of the powers that were already a burden to her, with a mild headache always lingering at the back of her head. On top of that, she didn't need to feel so good in Barry's presence, as she was absolutely not in the right state of mind for anything—visions of his death and of metas in general, and the constant pain that prevented her even from writing her next book, were all poor foundations. She needed to get better first. She only wished she knewhow.

She didn't want the Flash's powers. She didn't want to go see Dr. Alchemy.

Speaking of… she received a text message from the Labs about something that had happened the night before, so she quickly used the bathroom, grabbed her stuff, and was on her way.

The previous night, when Rachel had already fallen asleep, Barry had followed up on a lead on Alchemy and found another speedster instead—Savitar, as he called himself, the god of speed. They didn't have any way to verify the claim, nor the time, as Caitlin had helped by temporarily freezing the new big bad, but...

…now the doctor was MIA somewhere as Killer Frost.

"Can you maybe see her?" Cisco asked Rachel after she'd been filled in.

Normally, she would refrain from trying to actually call on her powers to see a meta, but for Caitlin, she would make an exception.

"I'm sorry, I can't," she eventually gave up, only giving herself a bigger headache. She was also starting to worry that her next treatment would be heavily delayed… "I can't see or sense her at all. It's almost as if she's not a meta or… maybe I'm just too personally involved."

In the end, the team did locate the woman in question, but it wasn't pretty—Caitlin didn't seem to be herself anymore, hurting Barry so she could get away, and then giving Jesse a taste of her icy kiss. It was Cisco who managed to knock her out, yet the team's spirit was already broken, since she revealed in revenge that his brother, Dante, had been alive and well before Barry created Flashpoint.

The ever-increasing pain in Rachel's head didn't help, but she still decided to ignore it and go search for Barry, locating him in one of the empty labs.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her, immediately concerned for her well-being. "Rachel, please, go back to bed."

"Resting won't help me. Only Caitlin can—with her treatment, and…" Rachel sighed before sitting down next to him. "Are you okay?"

"I don't deserve this," he said suddenly. "I've really messed up this time. It's almost like Thawne was right—I did become the villain. I don't deserve to be comforted when what's happening to you now… it's probably my fault, too." Barry hid his face in his hands.

"You're human, and humans make mistakes," Rachel told him, before reaching out and placing her hand on his shoulder. "I'm not saying that what you did was right, but I do understand. I've had plenty of time to think about it. You finally made peace with your mother's death, you were ready to move on, and then your world fell apart again. So, yeah, I am not happy you ran to the past and tried to save her—none of us are—but, at the same time, I don't blame you. I can't. I know how much you've suffered."

He didn't say anything for a while. Eventually, though, he turned to her, but before he could speak…

…Cisco called everyone back to the cortex.

"What happened?!" Barry asked upon his arrival. Rachel followed, pressing both of her hands to her head, the pain ever increasing. She needed Caitlin, and she was growing both desperate and scared.

"It's Jesse. She went to get Cait."

"No, that's too dangerous!"

However, it was already too late, so all they could do was watch Jesse let the other woman out of her pipeline prison and ask her to kill her in exchange for her freedom.

Barry was about to speed in there, but he decided to give the younger Flash a chance, thinking that maybe this bold move would help.

In that moment, Rachel's migraine turned into full-blown agony.

"Rachel!" she heard Barry scream before she staggered and passed out.

She opened her eyes to the worried team, including Caitlin.

"Thank god, you're back," she gasped, seeing a very concerned face of her best friend.

"Rachel, it's getting worse. We need to find an alternative way to help you," Cait informed, her voice not sharing the enthusiasm.

"Right now, I'm just glad you're you again." Rachel ignored the remark. "Can I go home?"

Barry and Cisco simultaneously called her name in protest.

"Guys, stop it! This isn't the day I survived. This is the day we rescued Caitlin from going full-on Killer Frost, okay?" She tried to get up, but she immediately felt dizzy.

"I don't think you realize how serious this is becoming," the doctor warned, gently placing her hand on her patient's shoulder to keep her down. "I recommend you stay the night here. I want to monitor you."

"No, you need to grab Jesse, and take her home, and just be together," Rachel protested once more, though she did obediently fall back onto the pillows. "I'll rest here. If it gets worse… I'll call."

"Then I'll stay," Barry offered. "I got nothing better to do anyway."

"And you're gonna watch me sleep like it's some creepy book for teenagers? No. Just let me be. I'm exhausted!"

"But…"

"Out!"

Eventually, they all listened to her and, as they slowly made their way out of the Labs, Caitlin caught up with Barry.

"Yes?" He turned to her.

"It's bad. Barry, it's getting really bad, and I will do everything I can to help her, but… I just hope I can."

He swallowed hard as anxiety took over, yet he refused to believe it wouldn't work.

"Caitlin, if anyone can help her, I know it's you."

Time continued to speed mercilessly, yet they still hadn't come up with any good idea of how to prevent the future from happening, how to save both Caitlin from becoming Killer Frost and Rachel from dying. The first task might've been easy—they should just keep her from changing and make sure she wore her meta necklace, an upgrade from the cuffs that made her feel like a criminal. Then again, they should also know better than to rely on that alone, as anything could happen—as anything, absolutely anything, could cause her to change.

During those days, S.T.A.R. Labs had become Rachel's home, since she didn't even leave the building's walls anymore, constantly undergoing treatments, checks up, or tests conducted by both Caitlin and Julian. She did her best to be hopeful around her teammates, especially when they went to such great lengths to keep her company while still being so busy. The one person she didn't see much of now was Barry, but she understood perfectly why and was actually relieved to be spared any awkwardness.

The man in question happened to be on his way to finally see her, gathering his strength as he slowly approached her room, trying to rid himself of the constant fear and worry that kept him in their cold vise.

However, he didn't make it far, hearing the sound of crying coming from Rachel's room, and eventually, he stood right by the slightly cracked-open door, catching a glimpse of her sobbing and being hugged by Caitlin.

"I… I don't want to die," her voice broke. "I'm trying to be strong... I'm really trying to believe, but… with every passing day… the fear escalates… and I'm slowly losing hope, Cait. I don't… I don't want to go like this. Not because of some powers I got... not because Eobard Thawne insisted I was by his side when the particle accelerator exploded…"

Barry knew he should probably turn around and leave, that this was too private a scene. Yet, he couldn't seem to move, frozen in place.

In the end, Rachel calmed down enough to say she would try to get some sleep. A few seconds later, Caitlin left the room, closing the door behind her and not commenting on his presence there.

"This… this can't be my fault," she told him, looking up at him. "Rachel dying cannot be my fault, Barry. If there's a cure, if we can really come up with a cure for metas, I'm immediately taking it as well. I won't be the reason she dies. She's my best friend."

The man only nodded, his hands fisted at his sides. He could barely handle the situation himself—the stress being too much. He'd even started to lose weight, which wasn't good, since he was already skinny, his face thinning.

"I… I can't lose her, Cait," was all he managed to utter. "I… she's… No, I just can't," he finished, turning around, and leaving.

Caitlin's heart broke at seeing him like this, but at the same time, she knew that no amount of consolation would ever be enough. They could try to make each other feel better to no end, but that wouldn't help. Actions would. Continuous actions.

They were all standing in the cortex, speechless after bearing witness to what had just happened, and yet, despite seeing it on camera footage, they still found it hard to believe.

It'd all started with Jesse suddenly having a vision of Savitar, which she told Caitlin about, and from there—the domino tumbled down.

Caitlin confessed that she'd kept a part of the stone Barry had thrown into the Speedforce to prevent the creation of new Flashpoint metas and to stop Savitar from ever laying his hands on it.

One shall betray you…

Needless to say, she'd had a huge fallout with Jesse, after which the younger woman grabbed the piece and sped off. The team learned about the last part only when Caitlin came running to them, worried out of her mind.

And Barry was too late.

He reached Jesse too late, the stone already in the Speedforce—ironically, Savitar's very prison—with her following, literally forced inside by the god of speed, as he made his way out toward freedom, explaining that it was all he needed, since Future Barry had trapped him there for all eternity, and the only way out was for another speedster to replace him.

One shall suffer a fate worse than death…

The last part of the prophecy was left to be fulfilled, and Barry refused to acknowledge it. He refused to accept that he couldn't change anything.

Instead, he attacked Savitar with everything he had but made a huge mistake while doing so—his actions were too influenced by his emotions.

He was beaten, and he would've been easily killed, but his opponent told him that his death would not come yet, so that he could suffer even more later on.

Rachel had no idea what to do, how to help, or where to even begin.

Caitlin's panicked voice and crying got her out of bed despite her not being fit enough. Then, she witnessed not only Jesse being violently dragged into the Speedforce so Savitar could be free, but also Savitar nearly killing Barry.

The Flash was back now, but there was a piece of Savitar's armor protruding from his shoulder.

They didn't waste any time putting him in Cait's medical lab to remove it.

He screamed so loud, in such pain, that Rachel couldn't take it anymore. She felt her entire body reacting to the emotions hanging in the air—all the despair, pain, loss, and—worst of all—the lack of hope they could all feel. Her head exploded in pain, and before she managed to even say a word or scream for help herself, everything went black as she collapsed.

When Barry woke up, the physical pain was gone, but it didn't really make him feel any better, since his eyes immediately met Caitlin's. She was standing over him, making sure he'd come to and that his vitals were all normal, but her face betrayed too much. She was on the verge of breaking herself, having just lost Jesse—though the girl was not dead, so at least there was some hope. That alone was what needed to keep Caitlin together, because the last thing they should allow was for Killer Frost to take control—that would be their ultimate doom.

"Rachel?" Barry asked, vaguely remembering her standing somewhere in the back before, concerned about him.

The doctor closed her eyes with a heavy sigh, causing Barry to panic.

"Where is she?!" He tried to push himself up, but sharp pain shot through his shoulder, reminding him that his clavicle was still shattered and it would take a little more time to heal, even for a speedster.

"She's alive," came the answer from Cisco, who was standing a bit further in the back, "but she passed out. It's bad, Barry."

"Cait…" Barry turned to the only doctor in the room, but her eyes just filled with tears, as her hands started to shake.

"Barry, I can't… I can't do this anymore… Jesse…"

"I'll get Jesse back. You need to take care of Rachel," he insisted.

"Julian's with her now," Cisco added. "He's the… well... second-best qualified medical professional around here. But she hasn't woken up, Barry."

"I don't know how to help her," Caitlin confessed, still crying. "I'm too distraught. What happened… I can't even… I don't know what to do anymore—what other things to try."

"We need Harry," Cisco more told them than merely suggested. "Caitlin is not fit to make any kind of metahuman cure right now, and Julian cannot handle this alone."

"He's so going to kill us for what happened to Jesse," Barry pointed out, covering his face with his hands in a hopeless gesture.

"It wasn't your fault, Barry."

"It was mine," Caitlin admitted her own guilt.

"Actually, no. By keeping a part of the stone, you were keeping Savitar from getting stronger."

"Well, in the end, he got his way anyway, didn't he?! And we failed to protect Jesse!" Caitlin snapped. "Cisco, what are we even going to tell Harry? He left, trusting us to keep her safe."

"He needs to know either way, because it's his daughter. And while we focus on getting Jesse back, he can help create the cure. It's our last hope."

"Do whatever you have to, whatever you can," Barry encouraged, feeling more helpless now than ever, despite the sudden idea Cisco had.

She heard screaming in the distance, her lids feeling heavy as if they were made of lead.

It was the voice, she realized a moment later, lying still for a while, listening. It was that voice that had brought up a well-known echo of the past, and somehow, despite the killer migraine making her feel like her entire head was a massacre field, she left the bed and wobbly made her way to the cortex.

Harrison Wells of Earth Two was standing in the middle of it, yelling at the team that they should've called him sooner, that he would've immediately come and helped despite his workload back in his world. He was furious about the danger his daughter had been exposed to, though it did reach him that they couldn't stop her, that she'd sneaked out all on her own and done the most foolish thing ever.

"Rachel," Barry spoke her name once he spotted her entering, being the one facing that direction. "What are you doing out of bed? Are you all right?"

She didn't respond or even manage to register the question, ridden with the strongest headache she'd ever felt in her entire life.

When Barry noticed her, Harry turned around, and once she caught a glimpse of him, she staggered and would've collapsed if he hadn't caught her in time, being the person closest to her.

"You also should've told me it was this bad," Wells murmured angrily, but he did stop screaming, mindful of the pain she was in.

"Harrison?" The name suddenly escaped her mouth. "I think I need to lie down… I…"

She didn't seem able to walk on her own anymore, so Harry heaved her up and carried her back to her room, where he put her in bed.

"It doesn't look like she has much time left," he said to the team that had followed them, judgment evident in his tone. "We have to do something, and we have to do it now." He made a move to leave when Rachel grabbed his arm and pulled him toward herself. He was now perching on the edge of the bed, with her attempting to get closer to him, pulling on his arm so she could snuggle up to it. "What…?" he asked, clearly perplexed.

"Harrison…" she whispered his name again.

Barry, witnessing this, clenched his jaw so hard that it hurt. That was when he realized what she really meant.

"She thinks you're Thawne," he explained in a strained voice, working way too hard to hide his true emotions that threatened to find an outlet. "It's not about you, Harry. It's about the man she loved, who looked exactly like you. From before he betrayed us all."

"Barry, that doesn't mean…" Caitlin started, trying to comfort him despite her own pain over losing Jesse. "It only means that her brain…"

"It doesn't matter now, does it?" he silenced her in the same detached tone, avoiding looking at Rachel, who was still trying to get closer to the Wells present. "I'll go to the Speedforce and save Jesse. You," he turned to Caitlin and Julian, and then looked at Harry, who finally managed to stand up, "you make sure you can help her. She…" Barry's voice caught in his throat, so he stopped talking. Eventually, though, he composed himself enough to address Harry alone, "I need you to do this. I am going to save your daughter, Harry, but you need to save her."

The older man nodded. "I'll do everything I can. You have my word on that, Allen."

"Good."

It was intimidating to meet him, to have such an eloquent, powerful, and, yes, such a handsome man look directly at her as if he truly saw her, as if she mattered a great deal. It was strange to answer her phone the next day and hear him on the other side, telling her she'd made an impression, and that he couldn't stop thinking about her ever since. She asked how he'd gotten her number, and he answered that he had his ways…

And just like that, she was standing face-to-face with him, feeling so silly, and so young, and yet, her heart fluttered in her chest, butterflies dancing in her stomach. She couldn't deny his absolute hotness, nor the way she reacted to it, or, even more so, to him being so attracted to her, to him wanting to hear what she had to say despite her young age—something she'd been sadly, and painfully, denied by publishers she'd tried to interest with her work so far.

He was interested. And he wanted to know everything.

The way he looked at her that night, when he walked her back home, was scorching and enchanting. And the way he kissed her without asking for permission, instantly ignited a fire within her…

"Harrison…"

"Yes and no," came the answer, as he was suddenly standing right in front of her in a yellow suit—The Reverse Flash.

Panic rose up inside of her when she realized who he truly was, that he hadn't even been Harrison Wells to begin with.

She retreated, tried to run, with fear swallowing her whole, but there he was again—cutting off her way out.

All at once, pain hit her—pain in her head, an unimaginable agony that was too much to handle, making her want to be dead just so she wouldn't have to feel it anymore…

…A stab in her arm…

Rachel opened her eyes to Harrison Wells.

She blinked a few times, trying to figure out what had happened and where she was. The fact that he was there, holding her as she lay in her bed… Wait, no… wrong—it was the bed in one of the S.T.A.R. Labs' rooms, which meant…

"Harry," she finally recognized him, letting go of his arm. "What happened?"

"You almost died—that's what happened," he answered gruffly. "This…" he raised his hand with a small syringe in it, "was the cure to save you."

"Was?"

"Yes, since you're alive and well, it's in your veins now—courtesy of my, Albert's, and Snow's mother's work."

"What…?" Rachel frowned, looking around and realizing that they weren't alone, that Harry was the person who'd administered the cure to her, but that Barry, Cisco, and, somehow, a very sad-looking Jesse were present.

"Congratulations," Wells said, standing up, "you're no longer a meta."

"Really?!" To hear that coming from his mouth, and in such a simple way, truly caused her world to spin. Could it be that easy…? Then again—it hadn't been at all, as they must've been battling time, helping her in the last possible moment, while she'd been unconscious. "Where's Caitlin?" she asked, but received no answer. She quickly started to panic, seeing Jesse leave the room in tears. "Oh my god, is she…?" Rachel gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.

"No," Barry told her. "She isn't dead, but… we don't know how bad it actually is… There's so much we need to tell you…"

"I'll check up on my daughter," Harry informed and left as well.

Rachel found herself alone with Barry and Cisco, her sudden joy squashed by the terrible news. However, she was grateful that she didn't have to worry about horrible visions or headaches, being blissfully pain-free—something she still had to come to terms with. She also made a mental note to thank Harry.

"We had a very gorgeous visitor—a woman named Gypsy from Earth 19," Cisco began, and Barry immediately shut him down.

"Dude, this isn't the time… Yes, you're hot for her—we got it! Leave that for later, please... What happened," he turned back to Rachel, "is that she was following a dangerous criminal. He called himself Abra Kedabra and caused an explosion right here in the Labs. Caitlin… she… she got caught in the crossfire. Julian operated on her, trying to remove all the shrapnel pieces from her body, but… she coded. And Jesse ripped the necklace off her neck to trigger the ice healing—the only thing that could help her…"

"Oh, no… She's Killer Frost now, isn't she?" Rachel realized in shock.

"Yes," Barry admitted with a nod. "But we are not giving up. We're looking for her as we speak. Harry and Julian are doing their best to come up with a cure for her as well, since we can't use the same one we did on you. There's just something different about Cait's powers. Jesse tried to study them properly, but she's not fit for it anymore… It's a mess, and I need to… Rachel, I'm so sorry, but I need to go and search some more."

"Of course," she assured him, though she still wondered why he seemed to be so detached, so… distant. What it only because of what was happening…?

It felt like a paradise to Rachel to be able to get back on her feet and move completely pain-free, to feel her brain being hers again, and not ruled by any migraine or visions. Still, she couldn't even let herself enjoy it, as it wasn't the end of their problems. Her life was no longer in danger, but Caitlin's entire humanity was, and they needed to bring her back.

She did manage to find Harry after she'd taken a shower, changed her clothes, and finally felt like a human being, following a long time spent unconscious and in agony on bedrest.

"I just wanted to say thank you," she addressed the man simply, knowing that she was interrupting his work on the cure for Caitlin. "I owe you my life. I don't think Savitar saw you coming from another Earth."

"I wouldn't have done it without Snow's mother's expertise," he informed blandly. "And we were almost too late."

"Doesn't matter. What does matter is that you've won this one."

"You must've really loved him," Harrison suddenly pointed out once she was already at the door.

"What?" Rachel frowned, turning back to face him again. "Who? What do you mean?"

"Thawne. You mistook me for him."

In that moment, everything finally clicked in her head, and she understood perfectly why Barry had been acting so weird.

"The man I loved didn't exist to begin with," she told Harry.

"Maybe." He shrugged. "However, the man, who actually does love you, very much exists. Don't lose sight of that. And… obviously, as you may easily guess, I don't mean myself."

"I know," she only said and then left.

She knew it all too well...

She should've known it wouldn't be that easy. She'd been naïve to think that a simple statement that she wanted Barry back, and the power behind S.T.A.R. Labs, would be enough…

…It wasn't. And she was drowning.

First of all, they weren't even at their full strength, with two essential team members gone—both Caitlin and the Flash. Secondly, the city was still recovering from the strange storms that had wrecked it due to the Speed Force nearly collapsing and a portal opening—a portal that had eventually taken Barry, who was her entire future, doomed from the start. All that was left was her—Rachel, the writer without the meta powers—therefore, rendered useless. Not that she wanted her powers back, since they'd almost killed her, but she couldn't contribute to the team like this. Then, there were Cisco, Harry, and Julian—three geniuses, but still not enough to solve the mystery, not enough to trick the Speed Force into giving them their Flash back. The only way to have him would be to offer another in his place, but they didn't know any speedster villains. Reverse Flash would be perfect for the task, but, in the end, he might've been too familiar with how the Speed Force operated to allow them to keep him in there. There was also the small detail that he was dead—at least in their timeline. Jesse couldn't run back in time yet, and even if she could, her father would never allow such a risk as attempting to drag Eobard Thawne to the present. Asking Thawne for a solution wouldn't be an option, either, as all he'd ever wanted was for Barry to suffer, and right now, exactly that was happening.

All of the above were crazy ideas from both Cisco and Rachel, and all of them met with point blank no from the current Wells—and for a good reason.

Long weeks had passed, and they still couldn't get Barry out. Rachel's own enthusiasm had died out, as she'd begun falling into depression. Worst of all, the other men couldn't hide their own thoughts from her anymore, as she could see them clearly written all over their faces—they didn't know what else to try.

She'd gotten into the habit of spending her entire days at the Labs, and it wasn't even because she could somehow contribute. It was simply because the team was all she had. Outside of those three people, she had no one, and she felt horribly alone. It was so bad that it hurt her each time she saw Cisco happily preparing himself for his dates with Gypsy. She just couldn't take anyone's happiness at the moment—not after being duped and broken by Eobard Thawne, tricked into having powers that showed her the death of the man she was sure was actually meant for her, only to finally risk her heart, open it up, and… have him disappear from her life completely. In a way, it was worse than death, since death was final—death meant pain and loss, yes, but also moving on, as the dead couldn't be brought back. And this? She was suspended, unable to move forward, because Barry might or might not return. How was she supposed to live with that? How was anyone supposed to live with something like that? Yes, he had told her to live her life, but how could she? How could she after the most perfect kiss they'd shared, and the sweet promise of a future that had been brutally shattered, leaving her in the cold again?!

Therefore, what Rachel did every single day was get up, drag herself to the Labs, sit at Caitlin's desk, and just write. Writing was all that still kept her sane—or maybe she'd already gone insane, burying herself in an imaginary world where everything was possible, even resurrection.

Currently, the only person whose company she enjoyed most was Harry, since he didn't go out of his way to comfort her, as both Cisco and Julian tried. He didn't sugarcoat, either. He was simply there, being himself, and she appreciated that. He didn't give her false hope, which seemed to hurt more these days than stating facts as they were.

The problem was that it was also risky, and Rachel had started to notice.

Could she, or could she not, get closer to Harry? They always played a dangerous game, having already had something between them once. Yes, he had told her he was damaged goods and unable to love after losing his wife, but the main reason they'd stopped whatever had been going on between them was Barry. And Barry was gone, and she could never have any guarantee that she would see him again. It broke her heart to million pieces, over and over.

It hurt so badly that, at some point, she stopped hoping. It was too much, and it was killing her. She showed up purely for the company because she didn't want to be alone.

Occasionally, they had to deal with metahumans, as, obviously, the lack of the Flash didn't mean there was a lack of danger lurking around the corner. Quite the contrary, actually, since there was no one powerful enough to stop those criminals. S.T.A.R. Labs cooperated with the police, lending their resources, and Cisco even started working with them officially, now dividing his time among his new job, trying to get Barry back, and dating his girlfriend. Julian continued to be a CSI, so his life looked similar. Rachel could tell that the only reason Harry was still there was because he'd promised Barry, and it'd all become possible, since his daughter had taken the reigns over his company while also serving as the Flash on Earth Two.

Just this moment, Rachel found herself standing way too close to Wells, accidentally colliding with him after she'd walked without paying attention, buried in her thoughts, as she usually was nowadays.

Suddenly, his hands were on her shoulders, steadying her.

And then, those familiar blue eyes were looking straight into hers, until she shifted her gaze to Harry's lips, and she didn't even know what would've happened, if Cisco hadn't chosen that exact moment to show up.

Needless to say, everyone felt awkward. Harrison dropped his hands from her shoulders and left the cortex in haste, throwing some excuse over his shoulder, and Rachel stood there staring ahead, her heart beating way too hard as she asked herself what had just happened.

"Okay, what the hell is the matter with you?!" Cisco raised his voice at her in anger.

She looked at him, completely taken aback.

"What?"

"Is this how it's gonna be now, Rachel?! Harrison Wells?!"

All she managed to do was open her eyes wide, feeling absolutely speechless.

Eventually, though, she found her tongue, and said, "That wasn't on purpose. That just… happened. I didn't watch where I was going."

"Sure, but what about what would've happened next?" her friend retorted, folding his arms over his chest, as he looked at her. "What the hell was that, Rachel?!"

"Cisco, I'm literally falling apart here!" she yelled back, unable to take it anymore. "I am done, do you hear me?! I risked everything, and it hurts like hell because of how unexpectedly it all ended! I can't deal with it! I finally decided to give my heart again—for the second time—and I got hurt again! It hurts more than I even thought it would, and this… this uncertainty, these endless trials, and… and nothing! I can't do this anymore! It's literally destroying me!"

"So, you're just giving up and ending up with Harry? I can't believe you!"

"Don't make things up! Nothing happened!"

"But it could have!" Cisco argued. "Who knows what would've happened if I hadn't come in! Barry doesn't deserve that!"

"Barry is gone!"

"You don't know that! We will get him back!"

"HOW?!" Rachel screamed, tears streaming down her face. "How are you planning on doing that, Cisco?! We've tried for such a long time and… nothing!" She spread her arms in frustration, still crying and shaking. "Maybe he's gone for good this time."

"No. I don't believe that." Cisco shook his head, his voice returning to normal.

"We're out of options."

"No, we aren't. I've found Caitlin. We can ask her for help."

"And you really think she can do that?"

"I've got an idea, but… but if this is how it's gonna be—if you're gonna run to Harry Wells for comfort every time something goes wrong with you and Barry—then, Rachel, I'm sorry, but you're not the woman I thought you were. And Barry doesn't deserve this. You know that."

What Cisco said hung in the air between them, striking her hard. He had not just said that to her… Then again—what if he was right? What would have happened if he hadn't come in? Would she have let Harry kiss her? Would she have kissed him herself? And then…?

"I actually came here to ask you to join me in going to see Caitlin," Cisco informed before turning to the exit. "If you still want to save Barry, meet me outside. I'll wait five minutes."

"You are going with Ramon," Rachel suddenly heard Harry's voice coming from the door after the younger man had disappeared.

"Whaat…? Were you… were you just listening?!" Anger hit her all over again, as she realized it.

"I happened to hear it, yes, but it wasn't on purpose," he admitted, stepping closer to her. "I've made a decision to leave, Rachel. I do not wish to destroy your future."

"What? You're not. And you can't just leave," she protested. "If Cisco's right—if we might have found a way—we're going to need you."

"Just… go with Ramon. We'll see afterward, won't we?"

"Whatever happened, whatever is still happening," Cisco began, "you can always count on us. You know that. You could've…"

"Will you stop it? Please, just… stop. What do you need me to do?" Caitlin seemed rather exasperated to see them, so Rachel definitely did not feel any better about tagging along.

"Helping Barry is one reason, yes," Cisco didn't seem fazed at all by her cold shoulder given, "but that's not why we've been looking for you. We have been looking for you because we care about you, because we love you, and we want you back. We want everyone back. The team isn't complete without Caitlin Snow and Barry Allen."

"I think I told you that I'm not just Caitlin Snow anymore, didn't I?" She sighed. "Tell me what you've got so far… My shift is over in an hour."

It was surreal to have her back at the Labs once she was free to leave with them. But it was Caitlin, Rachel thought, noticing that her hair and clothes were back to normal—at least, more or less. In the end, she most definitely was not Killer Frost. What a woman with multiple PhDs and a doctorate was doing working in a bar, however, was beyond Rachel's understanding.

Soon enough, it was as though Cait was never really gone. They jumped right back into doing their best to save Barry, and suddenly—after so many weeks of their work leading absolutely nowhere, after all the time Rachel had just been doing her best to survive—they finally made progress. And she feltterrified.

It had been so long, and now she was one step closer to seeing him again—allafter the life-altering, earth-shattering perfect kiss they'd shared. Maybe she was so used to losing by now that her mind couldn't comprehend that her life could start for a change—not end.

Here she was—standing in the middle of the cortex, feeling completely disoriented, her heart beating way too fast in her chest as she listened to Cisco, Caitlin, and Harry discussing getting the Flash back. Cait had come up with a brilliant idea for a DNA orb that would fool the Speed Force into thinking Barry never left…

"Hey, are you okay?" Julian was suddenly by her side, his hand gently touching her shoulder. Rachel hadn't even registered him coming closer. "It must be rather overwhelming, right? To be so close to getting him back."

She was only able to nod in response, relieved that he understood what she was going through.

A few hours later—hours filled with nervous pacing and a hammering heart—they arrived at Ferris Air's old airstrip. Rachel jumped out of the S.T.A.R. Labs truck on soft legs that almost gave way, fear hitting her with renewed force. She was afraid of what would come next. She wanted Barry back more than anything, but at the same time, she was paralyzed because she had no idea how to act. It'd been so long, the memory of their parting so vivid in her mind—especially thefeeling of his lips finally, finally kissing hers—yet he himself was blurry. She didn't know what to expect, and it was driving her crazy. She also didn't know how to act; their briefly discovered, budding intimacy had been stopped so abruptly, after all.

She was nervously watching the four members of team Flash set everything up, none of them having the time to take care of her—and good. Harry was present, and Rachel felt terrible about what she'd almost let happen. Cisco was so, so right. She'd been losing herself, and... she needed Barry. She just needed him back, since without him, she felt lost and fragmented.

The problem was that… nothing happened.

"I… I really thought this would work," Cisco said, his voice full of disappointment.

They all looked absolutely defeated and flustered, baffled as to why Barry wasn't already standing there with them.

Rachel froze completely, suddenly realizing what that fear she'd been feeling was really all about—it wasn't that she was scared of seeing him again; that was only what she'd decided to focus on. No, she was actually terrified she wouldn't… that he was truly lost to them forever.

"Rachel…" Harry took a step in her direction, but she would never find out what he wanted to say to her, since Julian's phone rang, and he seemed quite shocked.

"What?! Really?! Okay… No, no… don't call a doctor! I'll be right there! Please, let me handle this first… It's Barry," he informed the team when he hung up. "A police patrol just picked him up and called me straight away, since they remembered that I worked with him. Apparently, a truck almost ran him over. He was also… um… naked." They all stared at him, eyes wide in shock, at the revelation.

"Just be careful…" Julian warned as he led Rachel, Cisco, and Caitlin through the halls of the police station—Harry not being present for obvious reasons, given that he had the face of a murderer. "They say he's in shock, probably caused by the accident he was in, but... something tells me it may be a bit more than that. I managed to convince them not to call a doctor. I told them we're close friends and that I knew he was coming back, but the accident… anyway… here." He pushed a door at the end of a long corridor open and let them in.

Rachel's heart was pounding so hard in her chest, and she was taking in so much air that she felt dizzy. She still couldn't believe this—she couldn't believe that they actually had Barry, that whatever they'd done—it'd worked. He was back with them, and he was there to stay. All at once, such happiness overwhelmed her that all her previous worries were gone. She didn't care about any awkwardness—it was Barry, the same man who'd been in love with her for a very long time now, and who had eventually spoken his feelings aloud, and she... she...

...She gasped when she saw him.

He hadn't changed much. The police must've given him a station t-shirt and sweatpants, considering his naked predicament—something that caused heat to rise in quite troubling areas all over Rachel's body whenever she thought of it—but he looked like himself. He'd managed to grow a beard during his time away that actually suited him well, but his face—even with the novelty of facial hair—and his eyes were just as handsome as they always had been.

"Barry?" Rachel couldn't help it. She had to say his name and wanted to come closer, nearly devouring the sight of him. Her heart was calling out to him, and she smiled brightly, with tears still fresh in her eyes, still feeling his kiss on her lips and seeing him disappear in the Speed Force afterward.

Now he was finally here again. He was back. Her mind might not want to believe it just yet, but she could see it with her own eyes.

But the moment she moved toward him, she immediately stopped dead in her tracks. There was something in his face that seemed foreign, and soon she found out why.

"Who's Barry?" he asked, causing them all to pale. "Stars are melting… Nora shouldn't be here... Your Honor, I didn't do this, I didn't kill anyone…" he was mumbling incoherently before he started screaming, and that was when Caitlin approached him to inject him with a sedative.

Rachel should've known it wouldn't be that easy—that nothing in their lives ever was—and when it came to her own personal relationship with him, well… it had been a disaster from the start—the memory of seeing him die in agony in her vision was forever painful. She couldn't even be sure whether this was something yet to come, or if it'd already happened, once he'd given his powers to Zoom. She didn't know anything anymore, because her own powers were gone—and it was a blessing, but also an invitation to the huge unknown. Then again, if she were still haunted by that vision, she would never be able to tell if it was real or not anyway, as Cisco suspected it might've been put there by Thawne himself to keep her and Barry apart. She would simply never know. All she and Barry ever had was the present—and currently, even that seemed to be taken away from them.

In the end, Rachel just stood there, shaking, while listening to Caitlin's possible diagnosis. She really did not like the idea of Barry having already spent so many years in the Speed Force that his mind had become senile. She much preferred the other theory that, at the moment, his synapses were moving way too fast for a human brain to register.

There was only one way to find out.

"We have to try and wake him up," Caitlin agreed once they'd transported Barry to the Labs and were discussing their next step.

Rachel silently lingered in the corner, too busy trying not to completely fall apart.

"And I might just have the perfect song for that," Cisco volunteered.

"No," came the reply, loud and clear, from Harry, who had so far only been listening carefully.

Now, they all looked at him in surprise.

"She should do it." He pointed at Rachel. "And she alone. She can have the biggest impact on him, whereas seeing all of you will overwhelm him again. Not her, though—because he loves her. And if this were me, seeing my daughter would do the trick. You should let her go alone and stop with those ridiculous music ideas, Ramon."

Silence fell as they were all processing what Wells had just said.

The whole thing was absolutely awkward for Rachel, since Harry had taken the liberty to simply state that Barry was in love with her, and despite it not being a secret to anyone present, it still seemed too private.

"All right. I'll prepare everything," Caitlin easily agreed. "Rachel, come with me."

Rachel had no idea what to do.

Caitlin had left her alone in the lab room with Barry, who was sleeping off the sedation on a medical cot. She felt absolutely ridiculous sitting there in a chair next to him, waiting, and, at the moment it was too much. He was so close, yet so far away it drove her mad, and she couldn't even tell anymore whether she was frustrated or terrified. Cait had mentioned he should wake up within a few minutes, but those minutes slowly started to turn into what seemed like hours. The clock seemed to stand still while she watched Barry's peaceful face, studying his features, and getting used to the beard. It also occurred to her that it was truly the first time she could look at him so closely, so shamelessly.

Should she maybe take his hand? Or should she just wait? Would he prefer her to keep her distance? Would he even know who she was? Would this work…? She kept racking her brain with all those questions, second-guessing everything by now. Eventually, she forced herself to take a deep breath and try to calm down. She thought of him looking into her eyes before they'd said goodbye, of her cupping his face and abandoning all her fears. She thought of the kiss, which had felt so right. It hadn't been fair having to watch him leave afterward, but she also knew there had been no other choice to make at the time. Besides, he was and would always be the hero that Central City needed, and she had to accept that—she fucking wrote a book about it, after all. The problem was that she needed him as well—so, so much, and maybe even more than she'd ever needed anyone…

He suddenly stirred, and she froze, her hand suspended in the air just a few centimeters above his, as she still wasn't sure if she should touch him. He opened his eyes and looked around in confusion until his gaze fell upon her, and she waited there with bated breath, her heart hammering, as she was praying that he would remember everything—that he would remember her.

To her great relief, his eyes shone with recognition, and he whispered, "Rachel."

"Oh my god, yes! Barry! You're back!" She reacted purely on instinct, shooting up from her chair and throwing herself right into his arms as he sat up, holding them open for her and burying his face in her neck and hair as they embraced.

"I'm back," he assured her, laughing and tightening his hold on her.

It felt like... coming home.

"Barry… I… It's been so hard without you… I thought I'd lost you…" she confessed shakily into his ear, hugging him even tighter, completely overwhelmed as her senses seemed to be on overdrive. To feel him next to her, to be able to hold him like this, to have his warm body pressed against hers… it was nearly too much.

"You'll never lose me," he promised in a whisper.

In that moment, the door to the lab opened, and their friends came running, each and every one of them eager to hug him and tell him how happy they were to have him back.

"Cait, it's so good to see you back to yourself," Barry commented when it was her turn.

By now, Rachel had moved away, giving them all space to say hello, and knowing that she and Barry would finally be able to talk in private later.

"I hate to break this happy bubble, but…" Cisco started, "we just got an alert about some crazy samurai wrecking the city… Are you up for it, buddy?"

"Never been better!" Barry assured him, speeding off to get his suit.

Right after a samurai android defeat, Julian announced that he was ready to go back to England due to some unfinished business—and he finally could, since Barry was back.

"Will you come back to us?" Rachel asked as she hugged him goodbye. "You're part of team Flash now, Julian."

"I wish I could say yes, but… truth be told, I've been putting off facing my family for too long, and… there's actually someone special I left behind. I owe it to both myself and her to tell her how I feel. Maybe it's worth the risk, if she still…"

"If she truly cared for you before, then I'm sure she still does," Caitlin said with a smile.

"You, guys, really showed me that escape is never the answer, and if you have something real," Julian glanced at Barry and then at Rachel, "you should fight for it no matter what. And that's exactly what I'm going to do."

"Well, the door is always open if you want to come back or just visit, remember that. Thank you for everything, Julian. Also, thank you for covering for me with Captain Singh." Barry gave him a hug as well.

"It was the least I could do for you, mate. Take care of yourself."

After Julian left, the rest of the team started dispersing, patting Barry on the back on their way out of the cortex, Caitlin also promising Rachel they would talk later.

"Well…" Barry slowly approached her, as they were the only two people left now. And damn him—Rachel's heart was doing some crazy acrobatics in her chest, not to mention the butterflies swarming in her stomach. "I think we have unfinished business," he hinted, smiling at her brightly, and then taking a deep breath, which told her he was just as nervous. "What do you say we grab coffee—or better yet—dinner later on? Are you free tonight?"

"Yes," she responded with a nod and a jittery smile, feeling like a whole new world had opened up to her. "Yes, I am most definitely free. You can pick me up at six."

"Six it is, then."

However, before Rachel headed home for both a well-deserved break and a quick look through her closet, she spotted Harry still working in his lab.

"Are you all right?" she asked carefully, approaching him.

He raised his head from the device he was working on in surprise.

"Yes, why?"

"I just…" she stammered nervously. "I guess I'm a bit worried about you, Harry. I know things have been tough with Jesse… and you did tell me you were leaving, but... if you're uncomfortable going back to your Earth, you can stay here. It's okay."

"Stop," he immediately cut her off in a rough tone. "Stop worrying about me. Be happy to have Barry back."

"Harry…"

"I mean it, Rachel. Don't even look at me. I am not your concern. You should go out there and finally start living your life the way you were always meant to. Leave Harrison Wells and everything he ever did to you and to Allen behind. And remember, I'm not him."

"I know that."

"Then what are you still doing here? Go!"

She did as he said, but she decided not to give up on making him go see his daughter. She would also need to work a little bit on convincing Caitlin to do the same. First things first, though—she had one more stop to make before she went on her long-overdue date.

"Cisco?"

Rachel was lucky to catch up with him, since he was already on his way out, but he waited for her, and they resumed their walk outside together.

"Cisco, I don't even know how to say it, but…" she began, then hesitated. There was so much gratitude in her—so much excitement—but also fear and anxiety about what the next few days would bring, or—scratch that!—what the next hours might bring. She had a hard time sorting through her emotions. "Thank you. For everything."

"I actually might've been too hard on you back there, with… with Harry," he admitted. "I didn't even mean everything I said."

"You don't need to explain," she assured him. "I needed it. I needed you to be tough on me, and I'm absolutely grateful for it. And you were right, too—I could never be that person. I was just terrified and lost."

Cisco came to a stop and looked at her.

"Girl, you know you're awesome, don't you? I really did go a bit overboard. You weren't the only one freaking out about Barry, okay? And I have to admit that I've always rooted for you two."

"Really?" Rachel smiled when she heard that.

"Oh, yes. To be honest, I couldn't figure out why you weren't together. It clicked for me when Barry finally told us about your vision. But even then, I still rooted for you, guys. So... when I saw you standing so close to Harry…" Cisco shook his head, then grinned and added, "I couldn't let my ship sink." He winked at her as she laughed.

"Thank you for being an awesome friend." She gave him a well-deserved hug.

"Thank you, too. Now, go catch your date! Don't you dare be late! And put something nice on! Knowing Barry, he will wear a suit."

Rachel smiled brightly at Cisco one more time, the magnitude of all that had happened that day suddenly hitting her full-on—but in the most positive of ways.

Her date awaited.