Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warnings:
Categories:
Fandoms:
Relationships:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2025-07-08
Updated:
2025-09-25
Words:
12,508
Chapters:
19/?
Comments:
207
Kudos:
298
Bookmarks:
39
Hits:
4,693

The captain upon us

Summary:

The war has ended, Odysseus really REALLY wants to go home, but going home means no more him for them, as he'll never go back to sea with them, he's too precious to lose, they all like something of course.

OR

Everyone, even the gods obsess over Odysseus in one way or another

Chapter 1: Before they won the war

Summary:

So this is like a "before they won the war" thingy so you can understand the relationships between them, after this chapter they're going on the boat

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Odysseus woke up with a yawn, the tent wasn't as comfortable as his bed back at Ithaca.

 

But still, he'll make do since the whole hitching a donkey and an ox to his plow and sowing his fields with salt idea didn't work.

 

Whatever he has his friends, his men and—

 

"Soldiers!"

 

Ugh, Agamemnon.

 

Odysseus forcibly drags himself to go see what that tyrant wants now. Polites looks at him and smiles, he's the only guy that can make him feel good on a bad day.

 

Agamemnon was ranting about how long this war was taking as if plans could be spawned out of thin air.

 

"And I expect a plan and a tactic to be planned now, it's been 10 fucking years." Agamemnon lectures, full on giving a speech about how he needs everyone to start putting in even more effort.

 

Agamemnon was looking at him too, sure he's the greatest strategist and tactician if not the only.

 

But still, couldn't he be patient until Odysseus figured out a plan?

 

 

 


 

 

Agamemnon sure was actually frustrated about how long this war was taking and how the soldiers were slacking.

 

But he also wanted to show dominance through this.

 

To charm his precious ody of course.

 

Odysseus had to be loving being put under a firm hand, Athena... And it's clear Penelope is the dom— this has to be how he shall court him.

 

He kept looking back occasionally at Odysseus who clearly followed his gaze.

 

Gods, why is Odysseus so fucking pretty? Aphrodite must have mut alot of work into him.

 

 

 


 

Menelaus sighed as Agamemnon ended his rant, he himself also wanted the war to end— it was his wife for crying out loud.

 

But Odysseus made those 10 years bearable.

 

He made sure he didn't starve himself.

 

He talked to him.

 

He made sure he felt understood.

 

Menelaus couldn't lose him to the Trojans too, that's why he was the one always immediately interrupting any plan he didn't think was good.

 

He had to make sure Odysseus would be safe.

 

That the Trojans wouldn't take him too.

 

 


 

Polites was giving out the rations. The rations were so strict because it's being divided on thousands of men and it's important to have enough for all but it's horrible.

 

His poor ody looks so hungry all the time. Well, at least in his eyes.

 

So he started halving his own rations to give Odysseus extra. Odysseus didn't catch on.

 

But his worry for polites did.

 

Odysseus stared with intense concern holding polites' shoulders. "No, you look sick and you look tired and you're skinnier. What happened?"

 

Polites felt like he was in Elysium, well he wasn't exactly a noble hero but this must how it felt, Odysseus' care and touch. "Yes? I'm alright ody."

 

Odysseus didn't look convinced. "Please promise me you'll rest."

 

Polites nodded. "Sure thing Friend!"

 

Odysseus sighed and walked off, still uneasy.

 

Polites held composure until Odysseus left then had to thank the gods he didn't get a nosebleed.

 

 


 

 

Diomedes was just arguing with Idomeneus about something petty.

 

Odysseus being the mediator stepped in between them on the way to his tent. "My friends— why all this arguing?! We're on the same side of the war, no?"

 

Diomedes heart fluttered. But he didn't show. Why would he? "Oh tell that to Idomeneus who keeps being a bitch about everything!"

 

Odysseus sighs, oh he looks so adorable. And turns to Idomeneus. "What happened this time?"

 

With 5 words and a smile Odysseus managed to calm the argument down and stop it.

 

Of course he did, Odysseus was the one keeping the camp together, Diomedes wouldn't know how he'd survive it without him.

 

Though sadly trying to completely bed Odysseus was hard. But he was harder.

 

Odysseus walked off continuing his path to his tent.

 

 


 

 

Eurylochus opens the flap of Odysseus' tent, he has a lot of maps and paper and is writing and drawing frustratedly on them.

 

Eurylochus sat down beside him, he didn't like how Odysseus looked stressed.

 

He didn't want him to feel anything negative while he's around. "What are you doing?"

 

Odysseus blinks and looks back at him. "While since Agamemnon is being a bitch, I'm trying to figure out what we're gonna do."

 

Eurylochus chuckles a bit at Odysseus calling Agamemnon that and rubs the back of his neck.

 

 

Gods, Odysseus is so fucking hot.

 

 

"Well don't horse around then!" Eurylochus joked.

 

Odysseus paused looking staring at him with those beautiful heterochromic eyes as if he said the prophecy of Apollo himself. "Say that again."

 

Eurylochus looked confused but repeated. "... Don't horse around then?"

 

Odysseus grinned like the day he got a date with Penelope.

 

oh how he hated Penelope.

 

She didn't do anything wrong she just stole Odysseus away from him and become more important than him.

 

Odysseus spoke up again making eurylochus snap out of his train of thoughts. "Eury... You. Are. A. GENIUS!"

Notes:

Sigh, there's not enough everyone obsessed with Odysseus fics, this should be a whole tag

 

Also imagining Agamemnon punching the air as he realizes Odysseus doesn't like him for acting all strict and cold and dominant and thinks he sucks

 

So errrr, if y'all have any ideas lemme know

Chapter 2: Sailing

Summary:

They won the boat and I tried some comedy for this

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

They were sailing, it was outright entertaining as it was pure chaos.

 

Diomedes and Idomeneus are constantly at each other's throats, Agamemnon is well, Agamemnon. Eurylochus is making dumb decisions, and polites is the only alright one. And perimedes was a comic relief to Odysseus. But Elpenor actually made edible food so that's a start.

 

Diomedes was full on bickering with Idomeneus like they were old married couples. "I hope a sea monster eats you!"

 

Whilst Odysseus was sitting on top of a box of leftover supplies sighing like the single mother of all of Greece he practically was. "Respectfully."

 

Idomeneus shot back. "Yeah well I hope when you eat something it actually went bad and then you get food poisoning."

 

Odysseus rolled his eyes and added by himself again. "Respectfully!"

 

Diomedes narrowed his eyes. "Oh really? I hope we have to sacrifice someone and it ends up being you."

 

Odysseus was considering telling Athena to find a new warrior of the mind and then give himself up to hades. "Res—pect—fully!"

 

Idomeneus put a hand on his chest dramatically. "Me?! You're probably who we'll sacrifice to because you're so ugly you can pass for a sea monster!"

 

Odysseus was genuinely questioning if it would be wrong to kill then both. "I'm going to respectfully throw myself into the sea."

 

Both men immediately stopped and in unison yelled. "NO!"

 

Odysseus blinked in shock before composing himself, they only wanted him because he's good for directions, that's it.

 

Why would they need him? He's ugly, not good at physical fighting, just good at maps and making plans.

 

Athena suddenly appeared behind him. "Odysseus of Ithaca."

 

Odysseus screamed like a little girl at that and immediately turned around startled. "Athena! You can't keep doing this to me!"

 

Sometimes Odysseus questions if he's at all important to Athena or just pride that she's now a mentor, she clearly doesn't let him call her a friend.

 

 

 


 

 

Oh her sweet owlet. Her precious, sweet owlet.

 

Of course being a celibate goddess she never will have children and she doesn't want to, but he likes to think of Odysseus as her son.

 

Despite his mom being back at home.

 

Sometimes she just wants to make a nest, put him in it and make sure nothing could take him away from her.

 

But showing it, wasn't easy, she was also his mentor, she didn't want him to die. She had to parent— mentor, yes totally mentor him correctly.

 

But he knows she loves him, right? Of course he does. He definitely does.

 

As she disappeared to go back to Olympus she heard Odysseus shout something to everyone. "LOOK! AN ISLAND!"

 

 

then she was gone.

Notes:

Don't bring up the fact that 600 was only the ones under Odysseus' command and going to Ithaca and the other kings went on separate boats, for the sake of the fic they didn't (Don't ask how when they are in separate kingdoms it's just how it is)

I kinda thought because Odysseus is a warrior of the MIND that he isn't the best at physical combat, of course he still is good (because he beat up a god and 108 men in epic the musical) just not amazing, like he relies I'm strategy, tricking, and tactics, less brawn, more brain

So this won't go like epic exactly, Polyphemus is where it stops being like epic and starts into its own story

Chapter 3: To the cyclops

Summary:

So, it goes different than the og cyclops saga obvi

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Eurylochus didn't like it, there was glow but no smoke indicating a fire.

 

Odysseus stepped off the ship, no. No, he knew how Odysseus refuses to ask for help, he could go in there alone.

 

He could get hurt, and eury is nothing if he isn't protecting Odysseus.

 

Odysseus stepped off the ship and Eurylochus immediately stepped off after. "I say we strike first, we don't have time to waste. So let's raid the place—"

 

Just to get enough food to make sure Odysseus stops looking so hungry.

 

Odysseus shook his head. "No."

 

Eurylochus paused. "No? But we need food—"

 

Odysseus turned to polites. "Come on, let's go."

 

Eurylochus stared in pure unfiltered jealousy as Odysseus left into island expecting Polites to follow. Polites shot Eurylochus a shit eating grin and walked off with Odysseus.

 

 

 


 

 

As they walked through the island, polites could see how distressed and stressed Odysseus is. Tense, looking around like something could randomly pounce on him.

 

Well polites DID want to pounce on him and make out with him but that's irrelevant.

 

 

Polites didn't like it, the distress, the fear, the pure wary and worry on Odysseus' face was practically a mockery to his existence.

 

Did he have purpose if Odysseus wasn't happy?

 

Polites grabbed his hand and started leading him himself. "You can relax my friend."

 

Odysseus stared back. "What?"

 

Polites smiled back at him. "Relax, stop worrying, it'll be okay if you take it easy with mercy."

 

Odysseus blinked before sighing heavily then walked. "Let's just go, polites."

 

Polites frowned, but he DID choose him specifically, so he won't lose that trust.

 

So he followed.

 

And then they found the lotus eaters.

 

 


 

 

The lotus eaters stared up with wonder in their eyes and started waddling up to the pretty human who was holding something pointy.

 

How silly!

 

"Welcomeeeeee" one said. The pretty man pointed the pointy thing at it.

 

The other man with a headband whispers something to him. Oooo, most wonder what it is.

 

The pretty man eventually somewhat lowers the pointy thing and keeps staring at the middle one in front of him expecting it as a leader or something. "All we came for is food—"

 

The middle one nodded and gestured to the rest to get some lotus for him while he kept talking and talking and talking.

 

What a pretty voice! Should belong next to them.

 

Another speaks. "Here you go!"

 

The headband man takes some and smiles at the pretty man. "See?! I told you to relax! How amazing life can be if you greet it with open arms!"

 

But the pretty man didn't eat, did he want someone to feed him?

 

The pretty man dropped the fruit. "No, polites it's glowing. It's a lotus, it controls your mind and never lets you free."

 

The headband man blinks. "Oh." Then turns to another lotus eater. "Do you know where more food is?"

 

The lotus water in question nods. "In a cave! A scary cave, to the east."

 

The headband man nods and leads the pretty man away gently. "Let's get the rest of the crew there and eat."

 

Oh, the pretty man is leaving.

 

 


 

 

They took the crew and went to the cave, Odysseus saw so many sheep, finally enough food to feed every single man. If they ration well enough.

 

Polites walked beside him and kissed his cheek making him blush. "Relax, my friend."

 

Odysseus also felt bad, polites probably only did it to be nice because no one would want him besides Penelope really.

 

They shot a sheep, food amazing.

 

It was good alas—

 

 

"Who goes there?" A deep voice spoke, Odysseus froze and turned behind him.

 

Shit.

 

 


 

 

Polyphemus tilted his head. Are mortals always this pretty? Must be why his uncle always sleeps with them, or anything in that matter.

 

Perhaps, this was a gift from the fates?

 

A bride, just for him!

 

Wait, his favorite sheep.

 

"My- my favorite sheep." 

 

The mortal put his hands up. "We come in peace! We have a trade offering!"

 

Polyphemus nodded, he's willing to do anything just to hear that voice speak.

 

The mortal gestures to his friends to bring something. "Wine! Wine so fresh and great you'll forget your sheep."

 

Polyphemus smiled, tasting it was so good. Must've been by the mortal Infront of him. "Stranger, what's your name?"

 

The mortal looked around for a second before looking back up to him. "My name is noooooobody, noooooobody, noooooobody."

 

Polyphemus reached out before the mortal flinched and practically jumped away, Polyphemus grinned. "Sure, I'll let you live another day."

 

And then the mortals all scurried away.

 

The mortal's coming back for him right? Right?!

Notes:

I'm gonna have to rack the creative side of my brain to figure out how to continue this because after this I don't wanna follow epic's events

So if y'all have an idea lemme know

Chapter 4: Apollo

Summary:

Errrr, basically Apollo likes how Odysseus sounds and is gonna become his stalker idk, is it stalking if you're a god???? That's the real question

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Ajax the lesser was barely keeping it cool.

 

Why aren't they home?! It's been 10 years! He wished they could've kept Paris alive just to torture the living shit out of him.

 

He almost fell, wait a trap?

 

Odysseus practically pushed him out the way, he- he saved him almost falling into the ditch before Eurylochus caught him.

 

Ajax the lesser was frozen, Odysseus touched him.... ODYSSEUS TOUCHED HIM! Polites being the medic stepped up. "Are you hurt?"

 

Odysseus chuckled but it had a tint of pain. "It's okay, just a simple ankle sprain— I'm a warrior this is literally nothing compared to what we've seen!"

 

Polites frowned, kneeling to see his ankle, fussing over it and hugging him over and over, telling him it's okay to be hurt and they'll take care of him.

 

Diomedes lashed out on ajax the lesser almost trying to throw hands because he blamed Odysseus getting hurt on the fact he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings, he had to be held back by elpenor.

 

But ajax the lesser sure was brawn and all but he wasn't that dumb so he realized.

 

If there were traps there were someone or something here.

 

 


 

 

Diomedes was peacefully walking before.

 

Perimedes screamed "WATCH OUT!" He barely looked up to see an arrow flying towards him he practically jumped out the way.

 

Diomedes stared at the glowing arrow which had intended to hit him. "Is... Is it glowing or am I sleep deprived?"

 

Ajax the lesser squinted. "Either we're all sleep deprived and hallucinating the same thing or that arrow is glowing."

 

Idomeneus being impulsive immediately tried to grab it before screaming and pulling his hand back. "IT'S FUCKING FIRE! WHY DOES IT BURN?!"

 

Polites looked concerned while Menelaus snickered. "He still screams like a little girl."

 

Nestor let out a laugh before coughing slightly. "Is that normal for your age to still scream Like a little girl?"

 

Diomedes was staring at the arrow, it burned and it glowed?! What's next?! Will it talk?!

 

Actually he shouldn't jinx it.

 

Odysseus stepped up, Diomedes almost reached out and yanked him back behind him in case he gets hurt but Odysseus only surveyed and didn't touch.

 

Good, because if anything happened to Odysseus Diomedes will kill everyone then himself.

 

Odysseus gasped before stepping back. "Sun symbols— we're in Apollo's domain!"

 

Well usually they would offer something but they seem to be screwed either way since Apollo took the side of troy, the city they burned down.

 

 

 


 

 

A glowing light emerged from the trees, Apollo.

 

Apollo titled his head, blonde hair flowing slightly with him, grinning unnaturally.

 

Greeks? They have the guts to show themselves here after what they did in troy?

 

One stepped out, an owl symbol as a pin? Must be that mortal Athena gushes about. What was his name? Ody- odylean? Odyquen? Odyster? Ody something.

 

Ody spoke slowly, getting down on his knees. "O great sun god! We come in peace! We mean no harm and we only were passing to get home."

 

Oh, what a pretty voice. Maybe that's what Athena meant when she said he was silver tongued. Apollo's grin widened as he listened.

 

Ody was trying to convince him to let them go using so poetic words, he was getting convinced without lie, honestly, Apollo was considering taking him back to Olympus, if Zeus could take Ganymede why couldn't he take him?

 

Keep him next to him, make him sing songs for him, sing together, ody could use his silver tongue to do poets for him without trying to convince him and succeed at it.

 

 

 


 

 

Odysseus was barely keeping calm. The crew needed his great directions home— sure they obviously don't love him, why would they? But if Apollo tries to kill him he's screwed.

 

The god looked terrifying. Glowing to the point where if he glowed brighter he would blind him, blonde hair flowing, moving like lava lamp. Markings on his body glowed bright gold.

 

And that grin was stretched so unnatural he was cowering mentally.

 

His men who were as petrified couldn't even speak from fear.

 

Apollo only grabbed his face with those hands.

 

hot! Hot! Hot! Like literally actually temperature hot!

 

It wasn't burning, no, it was almost warm, like a blanket in a cold night.

 

Apollo leaned down and he could almost feel the heat from his face. "Until next time, little mortal, I'll always be watching you~ all day everyday no matter how hard you hide. But I'll let you go, for now."

 

Odysseus blinked as Apollo disappeared withe the arrow.

 

What the fuck happened?

 

Why would the god watch over him?! Did he just want to watch him suffer?!

 

Eurylochus tried to pick him up. He squeaked. "WHA—?!?!"

 

Eurylochus only stared down seriously. "You're injured in your leg, I can't let you walk, what if something happens and we need to run? You won't be able to. It's better I carry you."

 

Odysseus shook his head. "Seriously it's fine it's an ANKLE I've gone through worse."

 

Eurylochus ignored him and continued walking.

 

Odysseus felt guilty, he was making eurylochus feel obligated to carry him in the hot as he's just a comrade.

 

He didn't deserve them, and they shouldn't be held back by him.

 

Wait, where ARE they gonna go?

Notes:

Okay so with research I figure out Apollo doesn't like messing with mortals that much BUT he seems like he would in epic and I liked Poxin_MushroomBoi's interpretation in abandon soooooo

Did they kill anything? No, but ig trespassing is something

Everyone reading rn: "ODY BABY, THEY LOVE YOU TF YOU ON ABOUT?!"

Chapter 5: Circe

Summary:

They go to Circe's island

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Athena had came back, Apollo touched Odysseus?! Oh fuck no.

 

Sure, he hadn't hurt him but this is Apollo, if he used too much force accidentally he could've incinerated Odysseus and despite being a goddess she couldn't take him back from the underworld.

 

Athena had to make sure there's no lasting damage of being touched by the other god of the sun

 

Athena landed on the boat of her little owlet, he seemed fine.

 

"Odysseus what are you doing?"

 

And he let out a startled squeak before turning around. "Athenaaaaaaaa!"

 

That whine made Athena really really want to pick him up and cuddle him for eternity.

 

Her precious little child— oh yeah Anticlea, would he miss his actual mom if she did take him away from her?

 

That thought hurt Athena's— what do the mortals call it?— feelings. Because he would, he would probably miss his birth mom more.

 

Well— whatever, she'll adopt him after Anticlea dies.

 

Of course Athena has no issue with Anticlea and actually respects her but she can't help but feel sad the only person she ever thought of as a son thinks of another woman as his mom than her.

 

At least he knows she loves him right? That she's strict because she's worried for him right?

 

Odysseus repeated. "Um, Athena?"

 

That snapped Athena out of her trance. "Oh yes, Odysseus, I saw what happened with Apollo."

 

Odysseus rolled his eyes- did he just dare to roll his eyes at here?! "Yes Athena, give the lecture, give the scolding, tell me how wrong I am for everything blah blah blah."

 

Athena sighed, did she fail at parenting?

 

Oh yeah she didn't parent him and found him fully grown at 13.

 

Athena sighed, fighting the urge to scold him for disrespect but held her tongue. "Actually, I was gonna say if you run into a problem with one of the gods to immediately call me so I can protect you, what you did was honestly amazing that you were able to convince him to not in some way curse you but still for your safety call for me anytime you have to deal with gods."

 

Odysseus blinked. "Oh, I didn't think you'd find this an important enough matter for me to call upon you."

 

Athena felt her stomach churn, what does he mean he didn't think she'd care? That means she failed to prove she'd always protect.

 

Athena nodded slowly trying to hide her feelings— what a stupid name— and keep calm. "Very well then. But next time do call."

 

 


 

Odysseus blinked, did she actually care?

 

Of course she didn't, when she ever show that she cared?

 

It's her pride, something Odysseus noticed from day one, her pride.

 

It wouldn't allow her to know or feel like she failed as a mentor, she liked the idea of being a good mentor not himself.

 

Sighing Odysseus went back to what he was doing.

 

They were going to another other island, hopefully no cyclops or random sun god reside here.

 

And so they hopped off.

 

 


 

 

Hermes giggled seeing his favorite descendant pace through the island because his idiotic men turn into pigs, shouldn't he like animals? He has a dog after all at home.

 

It's not stalking if he IS a god, right?

 

Hermes cackled before jumping down the tree making Ody jump and turn around.

 

Hermes titled his head. "I could help you y'know?"

 

Odysseus narrowed his eyes. "... Excuse me?"

 

Hermes, being the fastest god, was almost in a second holding Odysseus in a slow dance way. "Wouldn't you like to beat her? Wouldn't you like to get your men back? Wouldn't you like to go home?"

 

Odysseus stared at him blankly. ".... Why are you so close?"

 

Hermes cackled again before spinning him around making him dizzy. "Oh trust me, I'll get closer."

 

Hermes leaned next to his neck breathing down it. before giggling and flying a few steps back.

 

 

 


 

 

Circe made sure those filthy MEN don't even think about her nymphs.

 

They don't have to do anything, they're MEN after all.

 

But then someone walked through the door.

 

A lady? Wait no, that's- apparently another man somehow.

 

"Lady of the palace." He started, wow a man with respect? Must be manipulation.

 

"I sent out some scouts to take a look around through here and they wind up at your door, through the years we seldom get a warm welcome so I must ask just to be sure.... What did you do to them?" He finished.

 

Circe hid her grin innocently. "Who me? All I did was reveal their true forms."

 

The man deadpanned. "You turned them into pigs..."

 

Circe chuckled at that before turning serious. Oh, he thinks he's all that? She'll show him.

 

But to her dismay he pulled out the moly root. "I ate this root, you can't put a spell on me, aha!"

 

Circe stared at him before groaning. "It was hermes who gave it to you wasn't it?"

 

The man sputtered for a second before admitting. "Okay yes but that's not the point!"

 

And then she unleashed a chimara, he unleashed a cyclops, strange but fine.

 

She- LOST?! TO A MAN?! 

 

a pretty one but still a man.

 

The man held a sword to her throat. "You lost."

 

Circe can't die now, she can't leave her nymphs behind. She forced a smile before standing up. "But everyone's true colors are revealed in acts of lust."

 

He titled his head at her. "What do you mean?"

 

Circe was kind done. It's a man? How does he not know what she means?

 

She was so close to seducing him and stabbing his disgusting manly— well not manly at all, but stabbing his disgusting self.

 

He suddenly pulled away. "I CAN'T!"

 

.... Then proceeded to curl up in a burrito.

 

He started ranting about wanting to see his wife but everytime he tries to rest or gather supplies suddenly another god tries to somehow sabotage it.

 

Maybe he's not like other men?

 

Circe smiles, perhaps she'll give him the supplies he needs. "What's your name?"

 

The man looks at her. "Odysseus, Odysseus of Ithaca."

 

Circe nods. "Okay, and what do you need?"

 

Odysseus sighs. "All I want is a place to get supplies for the 600 men and to rest a little before we go back to the boat."

 

Circe stands up. "Then, Odysseus, consider this Island your place of rest."

 

Circe can't let him go now! She just found a safe man, well she doesn't know about his crew but at least he is a safe man.

Notes:

I know it's poorly paced and skipping parts but I'm writing this at 4 am I really wanna sleep guys, I need sleep too I'm just a maaaaaaan 😔 (well a girl but you know what I mean)

I'm in a silly goofy mood so I wanna traumatize everyone who loves Odysseus next chapter

So this focuses on non-romantic obsession (excluding Hermes because he so is flirting rahhh 😔💔) a mother overly obsessed with her only child in a not so healthy way, except that's not her child and Circe who's so traumatized by men that she can't believe she found a safe man so now she's overly platonically obsessed with the fact a good man exists

Chapter 6: Ares

Summary:

Ares mistakes Odysseus for Aphrodite

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Penelope sighed, well it wasn't as dramatic as when her husband would do it but still she was tired.

 

Well not physically.

 

Penelope was done with random men and women showing up at their doors begging her to share, at this point all Odyssey needed to do was say hi to someone and they already love him, be it platonically or romantically.

 

Something that always just stuck with her was once Odysseus was complaining how everyone stares at him and he thinks people are judging him for being weird.

 

While actually everyone was doing double— seven checks everytime he walks by to make sure Aphrodite didn't grace them in a male form.

 

She blinked and had to try to explain that's not the reason but he wouldn't believe it so she eventually gave up.

 

Odysseus kept insisting she didn't see how they looked at him, but Penelope did, because she was who made them look away in her way.

 

 

 


 

 

Circe was so sad Odysseus had to leave, she likes the fact she had a male friend and was helping her nymphs open up to men again.

 

But alas, he had a wife to get to.

 

Circe stopped him for a second. "Wait!"

 

Odysseus looked back. "Hmm?"

 

Circe walked to him giving him a few blankets and food. "This should help you a bit."

 

Odysseus stared up at her with the grateful expression ever. "Thank you so much! I deserve none of this but you, a merciful soul has helped me so much."

 

He- he must just be grateful there's no way he actually believes he doesn't deserve it.

 

Circe shook her head. "Yes you do, ... Friend."

 

It felt nice saying that.

 

Odysseus pulled her into a hug then let go. "I'll be sure to visit, and you could meet my wife too."

 

Circe nodded with a smile. "I'd love that."

 

They waved good-bye and then Odysseus set sail.

 

Circe yawned, well it's getting late.

 

 


 

 

Diomedes had to very lovingly force Odysseus to use a blanket because he kept claiming he didn't deserve it and the others should find warmth first.

 

Honestly he was half tempted to tuck Odysseus under his arm and never let go.

 

Knowing Odysseus he'd somehow convince himself he's being hated.

 

Though, Diomedes WILL take care of him no matter if he wants to or not.

 

And he always will.

 

 


 

Ares squinted at the boat sailing, is that Aphrodite in a new form?

 

Oh Aphrodite and her need to mess with mortals using different forms.

 

Ares jumped upon the boat. "Aphrodite!"

 

The mortals all froze and turned including Aphrodite.

 

Ares walked up to Aphrodite. "Hey my little love. Haaah! Haaaah! Get it?! Because you're the goddess of love?! I'm doing the joke things that you spoke of!"

 

Aphrodite just stared at him, maybe the joke wasn't funny.

 

Ares still smiled and tried to lean in for a kiss. "I missed you so much, Aphrodite."

 

Aphrodite looked confused, shocked, and almost scared. "What are you talking about? I'm not Aphrodite?"

 

Ares blinked for a second before stepping back. "Oh."

 

Well this has to be the first time he managed to confuse a mortal for Aphrodite.

 

Then he saw it, the Diomedes guy who hit him in his jaw. They're greeks! Before he got to react that damned spear hit his fucking stomach and threw him off the ship.

 

They started sailing, oh fuck no.

 

But ares paused, actually maybe a second Aphrodite wouldn't be bad whatever this mortal's name even is, Athena's champion perhaps by the owl emblem? Overall he'll make up a plan (which he's never good at) and get his second Aphrodite ij that mortal.

 

Actually how's he gonna convince Aphrodite to spare the mortal and not curse him or something.

 

 

 


 

 

Odysseus was shaken up with the fact a god came on his boat. The god war!

 

Sure Diomedes stabbed him again but what if he comes after them? What if he curses them or something.

 

Wait how did ares call him Aphrodite?

 

Does he think he's as vengeful as Aphrodite? Does he think he's such a bad leader that forces his crew like how Aphrodite forced Helen to love Paris?!

Notes:

Ody you got mistaken for Aphrodite how else do we convince you you're pretty 😔

So, to count, Athena wants to take him to Olympus, so does Apollo and now ares um, great how lovely, I bet he'll think they're gonna take him and punish him or something

If y'all have an idea lemme know

Chapter 7: Aphrodite

Summary:

Okay, so
Aphrodite decided that the high and mighty Odysseus is gonna be hers

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Eurylochus could see Ithaca. They were so close to home, then that godsdamnned Diomedes will go back to argos and leave them the hell alone.

 

He hated it.

 

Odysseus was supposed to be his, he knew him the longest.

 

He was the one who found him under that tree crying when he was young because he was scared to rule and be bad at it and held him until he felt better.

 

He's his second in command, his trusted one.

 

Yet in the war, Odysseus picked Diomedes as his tentmate.

 

Sure, odysseus acted like it was the worst thing ever and how guilty he was for making Diomedes do that who assured him it was okay. But Odysseus was convinced they only fought in the first place because his tent was the best place ever while he stole it somehow.

 

And eurylochus fumed internally. Why him?!

 

And Diomedes knew how he felt and kept adding fuel to the fire. Anytime eurylochus would come to watch Odysseus sleep which is a VERY normal thing to do.

 

Definitely a normal thing to do to watch your best friend asleep while he's unaware.

 

Anyways, everytime he did, Diomedes would go cuddle up next to Odysseus on purpose! Just trying to make him angrier.

 

Whatever, they'll be back him and Odysseus will go back to his arms. It's fine.

 

 

 


 

 

Aphrodite smiled a sickly sweet smile, she had bribed aeolus to use the wind to careful and gently push the boat away from Ithaca.

 

The goddess of love and beauty sat, redhead locks flowing around as she watched that cute little mortal sleep. Not handsome, no, cute.

 

And she liked it.

 

The pure love this man held for his wife was so intoxicating, she needed it all for her self.

 

Aphrodite will be kind or whatever the mortals consider kind.

 

She'll dress him (even though she actually wanted all this off) she'll feed him, she'll make sure no one else's grubby fingers go on him, she'll bathe him, she'll be his everything.

 

And ares of course will get to join.

 

Her husband and malewife.

 

Oh, she wants to see him in a peplos or a more feminine chiton.

 

By now Aphrodite would've made him love her as much as he loved his wife whatever her name was.

 

But Athena's dumb mark left upon him to stop any other gods of putting spells or curses on him.

 

But there is one thing that even the mark couldn't stop.

 

 

 


 

 

Odysseus slowly stirred awake feeling something on him.

 

A woman, the most beautiful ever even more beautiful than Helen.

 

But he didn't like it, it's not his wife.

 

Wait— the divine Aura. Must be Aphrodite.

 

Shit Aphrodite, she must be mad at what happened in troy.

 

He immediately sat up before being pushed down again by her.

 

Aphrodite tilted her head and spoke. "Shhh~ rest now, mortal~ give in to your love~ I'll take care of you~"

 

She's gonna curse him, must be what's gonna happen.

 

That's when he saw some pink liquid spill from her mouth, he had no idea if that's godly spit and she's gonna spit on him?

 

No Aphrodite's leaning.

 

And leaning.

 

And leaning.

 

And wait is she trying to kiss him?

 

Odysseus gasped, Aphrodite must be trying to transmit poison into his blood.

 

Sure, Odysseus didn't wanna bother her because of how much of a bother he is but he had no other choice. "ATHENAAAAAA-!"

 

in a second Athena pushed Aphrodite, well that was fast.

 

 


 

Athena was staring down at the absolute whore of a sister she had.

 

Okay well, she isn't to judge, most gods do worse.

 

Her agapi dried from her mouth returning where it came from. 

 

Aphrodite was glaring at her while Odysseus practically ran behind her like a kid scared of shaking a new person's hand.

 

"What do you want?!" Aphrodite snapped.

 

Athena glared at Aphrodite. "Stay away from my mortal."

 

Aphrodite opened her mouth before closing it again with a grin, a bad one that Athena recognized. "Okay."

 

"What-"

 

"Okay."

 

Aphrodite flew off.

 

Athena watched, no.

 

That's not good.

 

Aphrodite never gave up on what she wanted especially so easily, she's planning something.

 

And Athena has no idea what it is.

Notes:

I keep forgetting the rest of the crew exists but I really like focusing on dio, eury, and poli more for some reason lmao

Also here's me struggling to explain how the other kings will get home after Odysseus gets home

Um, apparently everyone's watching him sleep so uh idk

Guys Odysseus is the smartest dumbass ever

Aphro: he's in love, my domain, so mine
Athena: NOT HOW THAT WORKS

Btw Odysseus doesn't know about the godly invisible mark that's why he thinks he can be cursed

Btw agapi isn't a Greek mythology thing it's something I made up

Ares: so how we gonna get him?
Aphrodite: *insert psychotic grin* dw, I got this

Chapter 8: Artemis

Summary:

Mb guys I woke up and felt silly

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Aphrodite grinned, rumors fly like wings on a bird, carried by the air of gossip.

 

Athena referring to Odysseus as 'her mortal' was enough for her to make rumors of Athena sleeping with Odysseus and breaking her celibacy oath.

 

By time it was all that's being said, Aphrodite felt proud of herself, while Athena gets her divine punishment, she'll swoop in and steal that mortal.

 

Aphrodite and ares were still planning on what they'll do.

 

Aphrodite was smiling imagining this. "We can add a little bench next to my throne for him to perch on."

 

Ares raised a brow. "How come it's your throne?"

 

Aphrodite deadpanned. "Because you're the god of war and you have weapons and all that and you could hurt him?"

 

".... Fair enough."

 

Aphrodite was still imagining it. So now he'll be in their clutches.

 

 

 


 

 

Artemis was so, so tired.

 

Odysseus Odysseus Odysseus Odysseus.

 

She's so fucking sick of hearing that name.

 

Her half-sister managed to spend eons celibate and gave it up for a man?!

 

No, there's no fucking way.

 

But it was replayed on a crystal ball, she did say 'my mortal'.

 

Artemis used to be proud to call Athena her sister, the only goddess not a whore, and now she breaks her celibate oath for a mortal.

 

No, she can't let that mortal go after defiling her sister.

 

She'll get payback.

 

 

 


 

 

Menelaus couldn't be even more grateful for a friend and wingman like Odysseus.

 

He helped him woo his wife and stayed with him through everything.

 

Menelaus smiled as they walked they finally understood where they were. Odysseus was following the stars to pinpoint where they were so they knew where to sail.

 

They had went onto the island because as good Odysseus was at directions he still needed more than sea and stars to pinpoint where to go from here.

 

Wait is that another arrow-?

 

 

 

 


 

 

Athena sensed her force of disturbance too late.

 

Artemis' arrow.

 

And Odysseus blood curdling screen before he fell.

 

Then everything erupted into chaos. (Lmao like the god)

 

Some of the crew was planning their suicide just to meet with Odysseus in the afterlife.

 

The rest were trying to hold onto him sobbing trying to ignore the reality of the fact he got shot.

 

Meanwhile Athena flew Diomedes to the moon just so they could go beat up Artemis in rage.

 

Artemis was fighting okay but she was the goddess of hunting not fighting and war, sadly it was Athena's. "Oi- I was punishing the mortal for defiling you and making you abandon your vow of celibacy."

 

Diomedes kept punching with all his might, Athena was also punching but answered. "What defilement?! He didn't touch me?!"

 

"You called him your mortal."

 

"MY MORTAL ADOPTED SON!"

 

Artemis blinked. "Oh..."

 

OH?! IS THAT WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY AFTER KILLING HER POOR OWLET?!?!

 

She just kept blindly hitting, not even strategizing anymore.

 

Artemis tried to still say anything in her defense. "Well it's still a man that you obsess over! You have no reason to! You're a goddess!!"

 

Athena was too enraged to answer.

 

What the hell does Artemis think will happen when she does this?!

 

What outcome was she expecting?!

 

 


 

Apollo came down to the mess, Artemis had fled back to Olympus while everyone was still sobbing over Odysseus and some even suiciding.

 

Apollo was mad, nor was he sad, he was amused.

 

All this was entertaining.

 

He gracefully stepped beside Athena before she could snap at him, he spoke. "I could heal him y'know?"

 

That got every single mortal and Athena's attention.

 

"YES, NOW."

 

Apollo was personally enjoying this. "Okay, hand him over."

 

The whole crew was ready to throw hands before Athena held up a hand to stop them. "Yes, but the second he's healed you bring him back to us."

 

Apollo rolled his eyes. "Athena you live on Olympus you'd see him regardless."

 

Apollo saw the gears turning in Athena's head as she realized that. "Oh yeah."

 

The other mortal men were barely holding it together.

 

Polites the usually calm yelled. "AND US?!"

 

Apollo shrugged. "That's your problem, ta ta!"

 

Apollo opened a portal and him and Athena returned to Olympus then closed it.

 

Oh this should be fun.

Notes:

is this good, I feel like it's weird— is it weird?

Btw Athena hasn't returned to Olympus yet because Odysseus requested for her to stay with them a little bit until they figured out where they are so that gives them even more suspicion on something that's not true

Next chapter will be in Olympus

If y'all have any ideas lemme know

Chapter 9: Olympus

Summary:

Ody wakey wakeys up

(He sleeps instead of me)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Athena finally cleared up the rumor about her losing her virginity and stopped it but It was a mess at the dinning table of the gods.

 

Artemis and Apollo were nowhere to be found.

 

Athena looked like she wanted to kill someone.

 

Aphrodite looked like she was guilty of something but hid it with her usual sly charismatic smile which didn't reach her eyes this time.

 

Ares's face wasn't visible under the helmet— actually he doesn't care about what happens to ares anyways.

 

Hermes was having more panicked zoomies than usual. Usual they were deranged positive zoomies, not this time.

 

The rest were normal but still looked like they knew what happened 

 

Zeus blinked staring around the room. The Tartarus did he miss? It wasn't this tense when he had another child (not with Hera again) or when those rumors spread about Athena.

 

Zeus picked hermes up by his head, holding it between his fingers bringing him kinda closer. "What on Olympus happened."

 

Hermes stared up with those pure white no iris eyes of his. Oh something's wrong, he isn't offering anyone drugs or cackling like a madman. "Artemis shot an arrow through Athena's favorite chosen one, and Apollo is in the middle of healing him—"

 

Athena throws a plate in frustration then storms away trying to refrain herself from screeching in rage. The fuck's going on with her? Can't she realize he'll die because he's mortal?

 

Or, was she going to grant him immortality and Artemis ruined that plan?

 

Too much thinking, he'll go treat himself to a nymph or two.

 

 

The second Zeus stood up hera scowled at him as if that'll stop it. Never has never will.

 

 

 


 

 

Odysseus very slowly blinked his eyes open.

 

Warm was the first thing he registered.

 

He was warm, like a blanket was wrapped around him.

 

Staring at whoever is holding him while rocking him humming a wonderful melody.

 

So entrancing, but the person was glowing so bright he barely could open his eyes oh wait, Apollo again?

 

He didn't deserve to be in a god's arms, he's not worthy.

 

But Odysseus felt weak to move, strange.

 

But he shouldn't burden Apollo with him.

 

Apollo eventually realized he was awake and smiled down at him.

 

 

Must be pity.

 

 

"Morning, songbird."

 

 

 


 

 

Apollo stared down at the pretty songbird he'll keep. To him, it is now next time. And he'll keep Odysseus by his side and keep him to sing for him forever.

 

Then the door practically threw open, Athena barged in. "Apollo give me back my owlet."

 

Apollo gave her a mocking pout. "And if I don't?"

 

Athena fumed. "I'll—"

 

Apollo cur her off, enough bullshit. "You're not stronger than me and you know it."

 

Apollo was grinning.

 

Athena was fuming.

 

Odysseus.... Was being Odysseus.

 

And Apollo needed his songbird by his side.

Notes:

I- I head cannon hermes unable (not physically or a curse just normal) to be able to sit down and calm tf down

Okay so Zeus, I got inspiration from fayt for personality because... Yes.

Hehehe I added Tartarus instead of hell see how smart I am haaaaah *gets booed*

Also Odysseus never sang so Apollo assuming he can is just-

Sorry ts is short I'm working on how I'll continue it now

Anyways if you have an idea lemme know

Chapter 10: In the nest

Summary:

Uhhhh

Mama owl

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Athena snapped at him. "Fuck off Apollo! All your lovers end up as plants anyways!"

 

Apollo immediately stood up, offended. "EXCUSE ME?!"

 

He didn't need to be reminded?!

 

What kind of sister reminds her brother that his partners died?!

 

Athena doubled down. "You heard me?! What's next you gonna turn him into a poppy?!"

 

Apollo wanted to slap her so much— "I DIDN'T TURN THEM INTO ANYTHING AND YOU KNOW IT!"

 

Athena mocked him before answering finally. "BUT YOU WERE THE REASON FOR IT AND I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN TO— wait where's Odysseus."

 

Apollo paused and turned where Athena was looking, Odysseus was gone.

 

Athena looked back at Apollo. "Is he even fully healed...?"

 

Apollo shook his head. "Not really. He's still weakened."

 

 

 


 

 

Odysseus was running.

 

Or limping while trying to run like a drunk baby.

 

Athena and Apollo might get angry at him for how wrongly he breathes and punish him can't risk it.

 

He bumped into someone or rather someone who was waiting for him.

 

Shit it's Aphrodite! Is she still trying to poison him?

 

Aphrodite tilted her head in an unnatural way grinning. "Come on ody, just join us, we'll dress you... We'll feed you... We'll warm you up... We'll keep you safe and sound."

 

They want to keep him as  a slave?!

 

Odysseus shuddered, images of them forcing him to clean until his hands were red and raw, forcing him to do labor until he dropped flashed his mind, no, he couldn't let that happen.

 

Odysseus' eyes darted for an escape as they started stepping towards him.

 

Until suddenly he was picked up like a misbehaving cat from behind.

 

Athena glared at them. "Stay away from him. You know my mark is important and I could get you in trouble for this."

 

 

Without even waiting for an answer she flew off.

 

Gasp, does she want to kill him herself?!?!!?!

 

 


 

 

Athena quite literally carried him to her room and put him in her nest next to her.

 

Okay, no more risks, ody is clearly in danger and she'd be damned if she allowed hades to take him from her.

 

Hades was chill yes— but she'd rather it be her.

 

Her owlet belongs in her arms, that's it.

 

Odysseus was staring at her with wide eyes, must be gratitude.

 

Athena was nuzzled up next to him, holding him close, like a mother bird protecting her egg.

 

Odysseus looked up at her. "Please my lady—"

 

Athena cut him off. "No."

 

She can't let his silver tongue-ness allow her to let him get hurt.

 

"Athena!"

 

"I'm trying to protect me!"

 

"I'd be safer home— you promised me you'll take me home!"

 

Athena paused. Yep, she did promise him that.

 

But that was before the rest of her siblings decided they wanna kidnap him.

 

Because she DEFINITELY wasn't kidnapping him, this was surprise adoption.

 

Athena groaned, she can't say no to his dumb puppy eyes. "Fine BUT I'll keep you for a little longer then I'll help you home— but do not get out of my sight understood!"

 

Odysseus nodded eagerly. "Yes yes of course!"

 

 

The things he's willing to do for penelope.

 

Athena still proceeded to smoother him, can't let her owlet go yet.

 

Have to protect first 

Notes:

I was gonna originally add Zeus this chapter but decided nah, because now I want him to after Hera

Apollo could punish you ody.... If you're into that- (giggles) I'm so funny trust

Sighz there's- there's no hope for ody atp

Chapter 11: Hestia

Summary:

Ody enjoying himself while still self deprecating...

Warning you might face palm

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Athena held Odysseus tight, she didn't wanna let go, but how will she get him out of Olympus?

 

All her siblings will try to steal him. And she knows he won't be in safe hands with them, none of them.

 

Aphrodite and ares barged in so she had to let go of Odysseus and get up, "DID YOU JUST STEAL HIM FROM US?!"

 

"HE WAS MINE FIRST?!"

 

"SO?! WE DEMAND HIM. YOU HAVE NO CLAIM OVER HIM!"

 

"I LITERALLY DID!"

 

Ares fumed going around the room. "YOU THINK YOU CAN HIDE HIM FROM US?! I WILL FIND HIM!"

 

Athena was gonna say what hiding before looking back at the nest.

 

"Did he just run away again....?"

 

 

 


 

 

 

Hestia was baking in her little separate kitchen.

 

It was apart of her cozy room.

 

Sure, Hestia was a powerful god who could have something more luxurious but this was warm, it was cozy.

 

She heard someone fall into her room and turned her head.

 

Odysseus was on the floor as of he failed at slip and sliding. (Yes I know that's doesn't exist yet)

 

Aw, Athena's little hatchling!

 

The poor thing looked so disoriented so tired so in need of a home.

 

Sure he had one, but it was so far away, he needed to be at home somewhere new.

 

Oh she could make him a cozy little bed here, bake stuff for him, read him stories, all that.

 

Hestia knelt to him. "Hello, Athena's hatchling."

 

The poor thing stared up at her backing away quickly before slowly recognizing the symbols on the walls. "Lady Hestia?"

 

Hestia cooed at that, oh he's so precious. "Awwww, yes it is me."

 

She could see the gears turning in his head, what a silly mortal who needs a nap.

 

Hestia smiled then tilted her head. "Cookies?"

 

 

 


 

 

Odysseus found himself tucked under her arm eating cookies instead of planning.

 

stupid!

 

Stupid!

 

Stupid!

 

He should be planning on how to escape not eating cookies as if he's home.

 

The urge to pull on his hair or bang hsi head against the table was strong but anytime he tied Hestia would hold his hand, shush him then go back to normal as if she knew what he was gonna do.

 

Odysseus didn't feel like he deserved this.

 

Cookies, bed, hugs while his crew aren't aren't with him!?

 

He promised to take everyone to their homes and now he's just sitting there?!

 

He wonders how his crew are doing, probably celebrating they won't have to deal with him anymore.

 

Then suddenly the door's hinges flew off breaking right below him barely touching him.

 

Apollo was glowing way WAY too bright. "Oh Odysseus!~"

 

Hestia frowned. "Light of my eye you broke the door again!"

 

Odysseus blinked before taking a deep breath.

 

Again????

 

AGAIN?????

 

Odysseus barely knew how to react to what's been going on in his life.

 

Maybe he deserved it, he's horrible and probably no one likes him.

 

Odysseus managed to actually speak. "AGAIN?! HE FUCKING DID THIS BEFORE?! JUST EXIST IN FRONT OF A DOOR AND IT FLEW OFF LIKE A YOUSDAMNNED BIRD?!"

 

hestia only smiled.

 

And Odysseus didn't notice the god coming closer until he was practically breathing down his neck.

 

 

well shit.

Notes:

The reason Odysseus trusts her is because hestia isn't known for curses, punishing or anything wrong so basically he knows she wouldn't hurt him

The cookies are whatever the ancient equivalent are

OKAY OKAAY OKAY, actual action will happen next Chapter

If y'all have any ideas lemme know

Chapter 12: God became

Summary:

Ody is now a god wooooo

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Before Odysseus could even think or blink he was on the ground with Apollo above him grinning maniacally.

 

Apollo was started to glow so much Odysseus closed his eyes in fear of getting blinded. "They're trying to take you from me— I won't let them."

 

What the hell is going on?!

 

He looked back at hestia hoping for him help but she only smiled.

 

Apollo held something to his mouth. Some pastry? "Come on, eat up darling!"

 

Odysseus didn't trust him, Hestia wasn't interfering, maybe she was only tricked him and actually hated him.

 

Odysseus had to find a way out. But the food smelt so good.

 

No, he shouldn't.

 

But would a small bite hurt? He's already immune to most poisons out of Athena's training.

 

But Odysseus had to remind himself that this is a god, a powerful one at that, he could have worse, something he never tried.

 

 

Hestia eventually helped him sit up. "Sunshine, you're being too rough on Athena's little hatchling you're scaring him."

 

 

Apollo blinked, Odysseus looked up at hestia, maybe she'll help?! She is the only goddess who he has yet to learn of anything wrong of.

 

 

But Apollo, oh geez Apollo.

 

 

And his poor crew who deserve a better captain than him because he's the worst.

 

 

Apollo shoves it in his face annoyed. "Eat up or I'm sending another plague towards the Greeks."

 

 

Hestia scolded Apollo foe being mean to the guest but Odysseus only cared about the food in front of him.

 

 

This would be poisoned.

 

 

But, he will save his friends.

 

 

chomp.

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

Hestia cooed as the poor thing did it and bit down eating.

 

Even liking the taste enough to keep going.

 

Hestia smiled rubbing his back. "There we go, that's good."

 

Hestia eventually pulled her hand away seeing Odysseus gasp and started squirming and coughing.

 

Hestia rolled her eyes, children are so dramatic as of they'd let him die.

 

Apollo places his hands on his chest, to heal him of the toxins of ambrosia before it could kill him.

 

Ah, that little sunshine is so kind with his healing.

 

Eventually Athena runs and falls in just in time to see her hatchling take a sweet sweet nap.

 

Hestia smiled, Athena should take him to the nest, after all hatchlings need naps in their mother's arms.

 

 

 


 

 

Athena stared in horror while Odysseus fell unconscious. Eyes who held an air of cunning but hate for himself now closed.

 

 

"What. Have. You. Done."

 

Athena managed to breathe out.

 

Hestia only smiled. "Sunshine here gave your hatchling a gift!"

 

Athena stared in horror she barely could even process this.

 

Apollo was holding him tightly almost possessively.

 

This is not how Athena wanted Odysseus to obtain his godhood. She wanted him to be a hero so when she gives it to him his name would echo throughout history.

 

Of course, godhood isn't obtained through being a hero but still being a mortal hero before becoming a god would be enough to have their name sung through generations.

 

Not only that but she would have picked what he could be a god of anyways, ambrosia just picks randomly. Well that was a lie it picked the personality.

 

But she was scared it'd pick the worst of his complex life.

 

Not only that— Apollo was ripping her mark off him, taunting her with the fact Odysseus is now not under her protection.

 

Odysseus was still unconscious as Apollo was petting his hair calling him all sorts of pet names.

 

Athena didn't even realize what she was doing until her spear was in Apollo's shoulder who retorted by throwing a sunray at her.

 

Then they were full on fighting.

 

Athena was so lost to rage she didn't even come up with a plan.

 

A goddess of wisdom with no plan, no better than ares the mindless brute.

 

Not only could Apollo have killed Odysseus if he wasn't careful enough, he ripped away Athena's mark.

 

Now she couldn't protect him, she couldn't see where he always was, she didn't have something to keep her siblings away.

 

She failed him.

 

Hestia gasped before immediately picking Odysseus up and close to her as if trying to shield him.

 

Athena couldn't even blame hestia, to hestia Apollo only gave Odysseus immortality to make sure he can't die, a gift in her eyes.

 

Being the only god/goddess who distances herself from drama she was the only one who didn't know of Athena's mark upon him— how it was now lost.

 

All she knew is Odysseus could be trampled as Athena and Apollo fight.

 

And then...

 

They were gone.

 

No, NO NO NO NO NO!

 

why is Odysseus always getting away from her?! But Athena reminded herself it wasn't his fault this time and hestia was the one who carried him away.

 

Which was probably for the best as one of them could accidentally hurt him.

 

But where's she taking him?

Notes:

I'd think Apollo would be traumatized after all his lovers dying and he hid it with being all deranged and cackles and 'idc' like the past chapters

Guys.
Guys
This chapter might get deleted and rewritten because ehhhhh idk god Odysseus?
Anyways what should he be the god of? (Actual that other gods don't exist of answers please 💔)

Yes hestia being a eons old god sees 30 something year old Odysseus as a child idk

Also I added the line "godhood isn't obtained through being a hero" to side eye Disney's Hercules

Chapter 13: ¡Hera and Zeus!

Summary:

TW ATTEMPTED SA (failed but attempted)
I think Zeus is a pretty good warning

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Hera sat there, foot tapping, did Apollo actually kill him instead of turning him into a god?

 

But no, she felt that godly aura reeking of him.

 

Hera usually didn't care for men, human men, heroes too. But this one was special.

 

This one had prayed to her so many times just fie his wife that he was fucking example at this point.

 

A man that loves his wife and never sleeps with anyone else, something that barely or in other words never happens.

 

Hera's gonna help him get back to his wife. She can't let this once an eon opportunity to to waste.

 

 

 

 


 

 

Zeus sighed heavily, this time it was hera missing. Not that he cared about her. "Okay, who's next? Ares? Aphrodite? Is- is Artemis still not back?!"

 

Zeus was currently trying to rethink if somehow they created a mortal so charismatic Olympus as a whole wanted him.

 

The whole table was tense as if everyone was in a brutal war.

 

Zeus started again. "And why is my favorite pimple death glaring doomed with homosexual relationships like he had just spat on her and killed her owl?"

 

Athena snapped. "YOU KNOW MY MORTAL RIGHT?!"

 

Zeus blinked, his favorite daughter wasn't usually this snappy. "The one that's leading you all after him like puppies on a leash?"

 

"YES! ODYSSEUS! HE ISN'T MORTAL ANYMORE BECAUSE OF APOLLO HERE!"

 

Gasps were around the table, Apollo only glared back in response.

 

Zeus sighed, why didn't he act like his father and swallow these guys. "Apollo, did you do this so he doesn't turn into a plant?

 

Apollo seethed. "STOP REMINDING ME!"

 

Okay, so Artemis is still gone, Athena looks like a mother bird who's egg was crushed Infront of her, Apollo looks like he's ready to start throwing hands with Athena. Aphrodite and ares look like they're planning something, which they suck at planning anyways, Hera is also gone, Dionysus is drunk like usual, ever since Aphrodite cheated on Hephaestus he stopped join for breakfast, and hestia was quiet, not in a "oh no!" Way in a "I'm too neutral for this" way.

 

Okay what the fuck did this mortal— well not mortal anymore do.

 

 


 

 

Zeus walked into Hera and his bedroom.

 

Oh.

 

OH.

 

Yeah okay, half his children thirsting for him makes senses now.

 

Those wide heterochromatic eyes staring between them like a cornered deer. Dark hair just waiting to be fisted, thick thighs you could practically use as a pillow— would look better wrapped around him.

 

Zeus purred. "Why hello there, gorgeous, I don't think we aquatinted."

 

The tiny thing shrunk into himself as hera immediately stood up. "Zeus I dare you to lay a finger upon him and I'll personally make sure Olympus is a memory by the time I'm done."

 

Zeus rolled his eyes, women.

 

But he stared back at the pretty thing. "You know, a guest should greet their host, it is the rules of xenia right?"

 

Hera growled at him. "Z.E.U.S."

 

But really, teleporting away has never been easier.

 

 

 


 

 

 

The eagle advanced on the snake, the snake was slippery and smart with his tongue, sure.

 

But the snake without it's lies and deceit was nothing.

 

It must be a hognose snake.

 

And after all, this was the eagle's nest.

 

The eagle tried to bite, the snake slithered, the eagle tries to grab, the snake slithered. The eagle tried to nest, the snake yet again slithered.

 

The snake was scared, who would blame it? It was out-powered.

 

The snake bit down instead. Catching the eagle off guard.

 

The snake slithered away for it's burrow, for it's mate and egg.

 

The snake was a beautiful dove, free as it needed and flew away.

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

Odysseus ran, he didn't know what he did, he didn't know how he did it, he just did.

 

What did he do?

 

He didn't know.

 

It was a rush of power.

 

Of manipulating the situation.

 

As if plans were his to command.

 

As if what he twists and wraps into a strategy is what must be followed 

 

A hand grabs his, Hera.

 

Hera looks at him determined. "I'm getting you out, Now."

Notes:

Okay two Zeus's pov is not good BUT it seemed more logical for it be in his POV

I was gonna go for a dark route where Zeus gets successful in y'know but honestly I just couldn't

I didn't wanna go in detail so I decided to use representations of them as animals, felt like this was good?

Ofc Odysseus isn't stronger than Zeus.not even a fraction, but Zeus was underestimating him so much he didn't even try to restrain him just in anyway

Chapter 14: Back down

Summary:

Odysseus leaves Olympus

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Hera and Odysseus came to a halt as ares and Aphrodite were standing in front of the gates of Olympus.

 

Aphrodite had her arms crossed, ares was standing in a defensive way, just in case.

 

Aphrodite scoffed. "I, the fairest maiden, should get him."

 

Ares looked at her, Aphrodite immediately corrected. "We Should get him."

 

Hera narrowed her eyes. "Not a chance, house wrecker.. I'm taking this one home. He has a wife to get to." 

 

Aphrodite mocked. "'A wIfE tO gEt To' yeah well he can re-fall In love, and what better than the goddess of love?!"

 

Ares added. "And war, because what's love without causing a war for it?!"

 

Odysseus was staring with wide eyes.

 

No

 

No 

 

No!

 

They wanna start another war and are using him as an excuse!

 

He just wants to go home.

 

Athena and Apollo ran in.

 

Zeus caught up.

 

Hermes was floating over to the scene nervously for once instead of maniacally.

 

Why- why can't the gods leave him alone?!

 

Everyone was arguing.

 

All gods were speaking on top of each other, Odysseus barely could understand.

 

He wants to hold Telemachus before he is too old for that

 

But what if you drop him?!

 

He wants to kiss Penelope once more

 

But what if she doesn't love you?

 

Odysseus just screamed.

 

This was too much.

 

The gods paused as if not expecting that.

 

Odysseus was so so done with all this. "I JUST WANNA GO HOME! TO MY WIFE AND SON!"

 

Aphrodite pipes up. "I can be your new wife and we can have a son."

 

Odysseus glared at her, she shut up.

 

Apollo clearly not caring just spoke up. "Oh song bird! You sound lovely screaming— I bet it would be better screaming my name."

 

Odysseus didn't even register the words, just grabbing a chair and chucking it at Apollo.

 

The chair just fell.

 

On the floor.

 

Not even a foot away from him.

 

Literally mocking him.

 

Odysseus just fell down and started sobbing.

 

Hera was still daring Zeus to even do anything.

 

Odysseus was so done.

 

Why wouldn't they leave him alone?

 

Where are his friends?

 

Are they okay?

 

And his family?

 

Are they still okay?

 

He needs them- HE NEEDS HIS FAMILY.

 

Quietly ares and Aphrodite move out the way, Odysseus literally runs out of Olympus.

 

The gods let him.

 

Probably they didn't want him, thinking he was boring now.

 

As he ran, he heard Zeus say. "Are we gonna forget about Artemis...?"

 

That's all he managed to decipher before hermes was helping him get down without falling like Hephaestus.

 

Why was he helping?

 

What did he want in return?

 

Odysseus was taken to somewhere he didn't recognize. "Wha...?"

 

"This is where your fleet and other Greek kings are." Hermes replied.

 

He set Odysseus down. 

 

Odysseus smiled. "Thanks Hermes."

 

Hermes laughed that infamous laugh again, at least he's not so not okay now. "Don't thank me Friend! That's the least I'd do!"

 

And then flew away without elaborating.

 

 

 


 

 

Polites gave up on being morale.

 

It's not the same without-

 

"PO-LI-TEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"

 

ODYSSEUS?!

 

Did polites become insane or was that Odysseus.

 

Some say the body is faster than the mind.

 

Polites' body threw itself at Odysseus before he could realize he was tackling him in a hug and sobbing.

 

a good way to lay his head on those tits finally.

 

Polites kept sobbing, he he couldn't believe it.

 

Odysseus DID survive!

 

Odysseus was trying to push him off. "Ca-n't brea-athe!"

 

Polites loosened around him slightly. 

 

Odysseus asked. "What are all these dead bodies?? How many are dead?!"

 

"Ithacans only or as a full? Because I didn't keep track on full."

 

"Ithacans."

 

Polites didn't know that either, he didn't know anything honestly. But as an estimate. "Ma-maybe 100...? I don't know! We- need you!"

 

Odysseus was staring at him wise eyed. "We- you- they-"

 

Odysseus had tears in his eyes.

 

Polites' weak spot. "NO NO MY FRIEND IT'S ALRIGHT! THEY CAN BURN FOR ALL I CARE JU-JUST DON'T CRY!"

 

Odysseus proceeded to sob. 

 

 

 


 

(A/N, subtle time skip after they all saw him and all that because I still apparently need sleep maybe one day I'll edit this and include it)

 

Eurylochus approached.

 

The tree...

 

It was so familiar.

 

Seeing him under the tree holding his bow and thinking he accidentally saw Eros.

 

Hiding away from everybody he came to celebrate him.

 

Thinking no one liked him 

 

Eurylochus never wanted to strangle and kiss someone so much at the same time before.

 

Back to reality, Eurylochus sat down next to Odysseus. "Captain?"

 

Odysseus was sitting there so- so sad. He didn't like it, at all. "I failed them..."

 

"You failed no one."

 

"They died and I didn't stop it!"

 

Eurylochus was barely understanding what the fuck he was on about. "... You were healing from a bow from Artemis herself."

 

Odysseus sighed. "I think I could've done more."

 

Eurylochus offered him a soft smile. "Well, in the words of a wise man, you can only do so much, the weaves of the fates cannot be undone. You can only do what they have woven, you are mortal, no god, it is useless to dwell on the past when you can focus on the future."

 

Odysseus nodded trying to wipe tears from his eyes. "Yeah.... Who told you that?"

 

Eurylochus deadpanned. "You."

 

Odysseus immediately sputtered in response. "Well I um- UH."

 

"Do you need a nap?"

 

"Try not to die while I have one please."

 

Eurylochus half-heartedly saluted. "Can't promise anything."

Notes:

So uh, I'm thinking Odysseus gaining some kind of godly physical attribute, like Zeus is huge, Aphrodite has like a heart shape red mark on her boob (I SAW THAT IN AN ANIMATION DON'T JUDGE ME 😔) Hera has peacock feathers, Athena has grey eyes, (these are headcannons, my hcs that like Greek gods have a physical attribute special to them) and since I headcannon that I wanna add one to Odysseus but idk what I could add to him like something new idk (he's gonna be the minor god of deception and strategy)

Also sorry for the wait I lost motivation since I use to post a chapter everyday that burned me out so I took a break

Also btw the gods let him leave because they honestly were too shocked and didn't know how to deal with this

"You are mortal" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I feel so silly (good way) writing this

Chapter 15: A god am I?

Summary:

Odysseus finds out he's a god and tells everyone else

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It was a normal night, no gods, no monsters, no fights.

 

Too normal.

 

Like too normal for them.

 

They were eating for once, normal animals that aren't sacred.

 

Normal... Is it?

 

Diomedes had the grey glint in his eyes, he was seeing it.

 

Odysseus wasn't well, mortal anymore.

 

He- he's a fucking god now.

 

Diomedes wanted to actually fucking cry, why couldn't Odysseus tell them- tell him.

 

Diomedes bled beside him, partnered up with him, fucking made out with him that one time.

 

And Odysseus couldn't be bothered to tell him that he was turned into a god on Olympus?

 

Perhaps he should confront him first.

 

Diomedes pulled Odysseus aside, standing down at him. "Well?"

 

Odysseus was confused, shifting foot to foot in a manipulative tactic to seem innocent. "Well what?"

 

Silly ody, Diomedes should fuck him right now- oh wait he's supposed to be mad at him right.

 

Well it's now or never.

 

Battling the urge to start worshipping him now freely as it wouldn't be blasphemous anymore. "Why didn't you tell me you got turned into a god?"

 

Odysseus blinked.

 

One.

 

Two.

 

Three.

 

Then shrieked. "WHAT?!"

 

Diomedes was confused. "You didn't know?!"

 

Odysseus literally backed away to a tree. "YES I DIDN'T KNOW!"

 

Okay, fucking him is back on the table.

 

Odysseus slid onto the ground. "Wha-what am I gonna do?! Eurylochus will hate me he- he hates the gods- mene-menelaus will avoid me- no one will wanna be around me anymore because they're scared n-now."

 

Diomedes just stared as Odysseus ranted.

 

There's no way he thought not everyone liked him.

 

There's no way.

 

So him putting himself down wasn't some clever way of fishing for compliments?

 

How did he not notice?!

 

Agamemnon flexing just to impress Odysseus, which wouldn't even work because Odysseus wasn't materialistic.

 

Achilles and Patroclus before they died asking him to join them while Patroclus combed through his hair.

 

Eurylochus and polites bickering on whom he belongs to more and would be content with throwing each other overboard if Odysseus was okay with it.

 

Menelaus having him as such a close friend he's ready to burn nations for him.

 

There's no way the sharpest minded kings couldn't know this.

 

And yet he didn't.

 

Diomedes sat down next to him. "Maybe you should tell them?"

 

Odysseus snapped to him. "What?! No! They'll hate me!"

 

"Would they hate a god helpful to them?"

 

"...."

 

Diomedes snapped his fingers, something Odysseus usually did when he had an idea, his habits did grow on him eventually. "exxxxxactly! Plus you're gonna eventually start looking some what different and you're gonna use powers so it's best they know now."

 

Honestly Diomedes is hoping if they know Odysseus is a god, they'll back off.

 

 

 


 

 

Odysseus was so confused when Diomedes pulled him aside like that, he thought Diomedes was gonna say he hated him or something.

 

This was way worse.

 

But he'll tell them— maybe it's for the better, they'll stop pretending they like him and they'll go live happy lives without him.

 

It's not like he's good at anything.

 

Odysseus went onto the dock. "I- I have to say something!"

 

The yell got everyone's attention. Odysseus froze at so many eyes on him.

 

Odysseus closed his eyes so he didn't have to see anyone then blurted out loudly. "APPARENTLYIGOTTURNEDINTOAGODONOLYPMUS!"

 

Silence.

 

The calm before the storm.

 

Then chaos broke out.

Notes:

I tried to add many swearwords in Diomedes' pov while keeping it natural because in TSOA Diomedes is the one who curses, gotta keep paying attention to details ‼️‼️‼️

Also i still wanna add a physical attribute to Odysseus that's like a god thing only he gets special to him and I still don't know what he's gonna get y'all have ideas?.(I explained more in the last chapter's notes btw)😔

Also yes Diomedes and Odysseus kissed, yes Odysseus was drunk and initiated, yes he self-deprecated after

Diomedes I don't think it's gonna work they're not gonna back off 😔

Chapter 16: Their reaction

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Eurylochus wasn't apart of the chaos he was just standing there quietly.

 

Odysseus is a god, he's immortal.

 

That means when Eurylochus dies he'll be torn away from him.

 

They won't be together in the underworld, only forever torn apart.

 

And Odysseus currently might not want him anymore, why would he?

 

He's a god now, he can have anyone.

 

Why would he ever want him.

 

 

 


 

 

Polites was the one trying to calm everyone down.

 

To him, nothing changed.

 

Odysseus will forever be Odysseus.

 

Polites will forever not see him as anything but his best friend.

 

And crush.

 

No matter what he is.

 

Polites doesn't care about how humans end up after getting into relationships with gods.

 

He'll want to be Odysseus' forever.

 

Until he dies.

 

But that's surely a long way to go.

 

 

 


 

 

 

Menelaus feels...

 

How does he feel?

 

Numb almost.

 

Anyone he loves will be taken away from him.

 

He may have got Helen back, but Odysseus?

 

Odysseus could be kidnapped to Olympus and he'd not be able to take him back.

 

He's just a man.

 

He can't wage wat against Olympus itself now can he?

 

All he hopes is he's important enough for Odysseus to remember.

 

 


 

 

Agamemnon was arguing with the rest in teg chaos.

 

Hah! Now he's got the eye of a god .

 

Odysseus madly in love with him and now a god, Mycenae will be filled with prosperity.

 

And gods can take different forms.

 

Odysseus dearest could just take the form of a woman so they could start their family.

 

After all why wouldn't Odysseus want him?

 

 


 

 

Odysseus was frozen in place, Diomedes looked at him with unease.

 

Maybe this wasn't a good plan if Odysseus wasn't comfy.

 

Diomedes took his hand and led Odysseus to his own cabin.

 

They sat there on the bed in silence for a while.

 

Diomedes eventually spoke up rubbing Odysseus' hand. "Hey, it's fine they'll get used to it."

 

Odysseus only broke down in sobs.

 

Diomedes held him for the rest of the evening ignoring all the yelling outside from those idiots who didn't realize Odysseus was gone anyways.

Notes:

Agamemnon stop being delulu Odysseus doesn't want you 😔✋

Odysseus is all "I swear I'm bad everyone's better than me :( *points to Agamemnon* except for him he's worse and horrible"

Also everyone forgetting Odysseus is married to Penelope like thinking he likes anyone more than her is crazy even for them

Chapter 17: PO-SEI-DON PO-SEI-DON PO-SEI-DON

Summary:

Poseidon just shows up ig

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Diomedes awoken as Odysseus was getting up. "Where are you going?"

 

Odysseus jumped slightly. "Oh- uh, so sorry for awakening you! My deepest apologies, I won't do it again."

 

Diomedes was about to pull the older but shorter man into a cuddle and just stop the rant but Odysseus continued.

 

"I'm gonna go for a walk to clear up my mind." Odysseus immediately left after that.

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

Poseidon had quite frankly had enough.

 

Polyphemus has been whining about some nobody for the last 2 years!

 

What more does Poseidon have to do?! He searched every Greek kingdom!

 

None fit the description!

 

He even came across a crew— crew? No they seemed like multiple crews mashed together missing a singular captain that they went crazy over.

 

But they clearly weren't a single crew why would that matter? 

 

Poseidon grumbled as he swam, a man he can't find because his looks weren't there, he can't get because his name was never spoken, he doubts nobody is truly his name, no exact kingdom to look for just the guess that he's Greek.

 

Then he spotted her.

 

An oceanid.

 

On the shores. 

 

What was that silly little oceanid doing out of his waters?

 

Poseidon wasn't POSSESSIVE.

 

He was just... Uh.

 

Making sure his oceanid returns to the oceans.

 

Poseidon settled a few too far feet away from her. "Get in the water."

 

The Oceanid looked like she just saw hades himself and jumped in place.

 

Poseidon repeated. "Get in the water."

 

The oceanid was backing away staring at him in poor terror, what's up with this gal.

 

Did she not understand. Poseidon raised his voice. "get in the water."

 

The oceanid got up and ran, Poseidon just grabbed her.

 

Ohh.

 

Oh this wasn't an oceanid.

 

The owel emblem made it clear.

 

"Oh you're the nobody my son spoke of."

 

Seeing him more clearly was truly glorious.

 

A chestnut colored hair and curled just above his shoulders, deep tan unblemished skin. Two heterochromic eyes, one a dark richy chocolate brown with the burst of honey in the middle just pure sweetness, the other a light blue of the inviting sky.

 

Oh he understands it now.

 

He'd whine for 2 years about this man too.

 

 

 


 

 

No..

 

That cyclops was Poseidon's SON?!

 

It's not like he did anything wrong besides kill a sheep or two (sneakily).

 

But Poseidon was a petty bitch so he would probably find a reason to be petty.

 

Could Odysseus just sweettalk himself out of this one— that's actually a good option and it wouldn't hurt to try.

 

Here goes nothing— 

Notes:

I was rereading this to see if I mentioned how Odysseus looks and I don't think I have then I realized I WAS PUTTING ACHILLES IN HERE! HE'S DEAD HE'S A-DEAD-LES HOW DID I FORGET

"But Poseidon doesn't gaf about oceanid" listen I... Just embrace the silliness of this fic okay? I know the oceanid don't belong to him but let's pretend they do

So the end was cut off because I have no idea how to end this chapter so it's gonna be a half chapter and the second chapter will be the rest and the new

Chapter 18: Other half PO-SEI-DON PO-SEI-DON PO-SEI-DON

Summary:

Uhuhuhuhuhuh, Hermes and ... Poseidon bye and... Summary stuff

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"Now speak, what is your name?" Poseidon asks nobody.

 

Nobody tries to lie. "N-nobody as I have told your son-"

 

Poseidon grinned. "Oh, pearl of mine, you know that's not true."

 

And suddenly like the fly he was, the annoying feathered thing named Hermes was suddenly Infront of Poseidon.

 

Poseidon's eyes flickered to him and he rolled his eyes, one of his brother's man many many children. "What."

 

Hermes clears his throat and speaks with that annoying voice of his. "Zeus wants to speak to you."

 

Poseidon rolled his eyes. "Tell him I'm busy." He vaguely gestures to nobody that he carefully held in his grip. "It's an oceanid under my domain I get to decide what happens."

 

Hermes laughs that annoying laugh. "He got turned into a god." 

 

Poseidon rolled his eyes. "Must be half oceanid so it counts."

 

Nobody was talking, uh, just too fast to be understood.

 

Hermes twirled fast like a melodramatic swan before finally pausing. "SIGH."

 

He... He did not just say 'sigh' that's a new level of stupidity.

 

"Zeus, son of Kronos, says it is IMPORTANT."

 

Poseidon turns nobody around to push him against his chest, he let out an adorable little squeak at that. "Well, then I'll see what is so iMpOrtAnT."

 

Hermes flew closer. "But like, are you risking my father snatch Odysseus? My father's type is having a pulse and he has one."

 

Odysseus?

 

The pretty thing's name is Odysseus?

 

Oh well, now that he knows his name tracking him shall be easier.

 

Poseidon set him down. "Remember me."

 

Nice and ominous...

 

Should be hot.

 

 


 

 

Odysseus whips his head around to his favorite trickster. "Hermes!"

 

Hermes set down, he usually floats but he now touches the ground of the island. "Hello old friend!"

 

Odysseus smiled. "Thanks for saving me."

 

"Don't thank me friend."

 

Oh why did he bother with thanks.

 

"You still have my half-sister to deal with."

 

"You have too many."

 

Hermes paused at Odysseus' true statement. "... I raised you better to be a liar..."

 

"You didn't even raise me..."

 

"That's not the point... Anyways Athena wants to talk to you."

 

Odysseus sighed, mentally preparing himself for whatever lesson he apparently forgot.

 

Odysseus was starting to hate all gods at this point.

 

 


 

 

Athena smiled immediately seeing her owlet approach.

 

Sad, sulken, fidgety. No... She can't allow this.

 

Athena cleared her throat. "I think we'll go back to training phase and I'll train you on whatever domain you got because—"

 

"WHY CAN'T I GET A MOMENT?!"

 

Was he still having a mental breakdown since Olympus?

 

"PLEASE, O GREY EYED GODDESS OF WISDOM AND WARFARE. HAVE MERCY UPON ME ANS LET ME PROCESS THINGS AT MY OWN RATE WITHOUT EVERYTHING COMING TO BOINK ME ON THE HEAD!"

 

Athena paused. "Are you okay...?"

 

Her owlet was full on sobbing. "NO I'M NOT, IT'S BEEN 14  MAYBE EVEN 15 YEARS SINCE I SAW MY WIFE!"

 

"You wanna go hangout and figure out what you can do at our pace...?"

 

Odysseus sniffled and nodded.

 

Athena pulled him into a hug and sprawled out her wings.

 

Then, they flew with a screaming Odysseus.

Notes:

Zeus doesn't wanna talk to him but Hermes is LYINGGGGGGGG APPARENTLY ODYSSEUS GOT IT FROM HIM

I'm celebrating my misery of going back to school with a chapter wooooo 😔

Chapter 19: O w l

Summary:

Guys odytheobliviousbean™ is getting some revelations

No, this doesn't mean he isn't oblivious anymore, every introduction he isn't gonna catch up in the love unless it's gonna be told to him

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

They sat in a sacred forest of Athena enjoying the weather.

 

Well, Athena enjoyed the weather.

 

Odysseus sat there even more upset.

 

Athena sensing he still wasn't happy turned to him. "Is there... Something wrong?"

 

Odysseus sighed. "It's just— hard to adapt you know? A-and the knowledge that everyone I know and love will die!"

 

Odysseus threw his hands up. Athena smiled. "I, won't die."

 

Odysseus was quiet for that. "Why did you mentor me...?"

 

huh?

 

Athena blinked owlishly purely confused. "What do you mean...? I mentored you because I saw your potential, and I was correct."

 

"No you weren't!" Odysseus snapped, tears making his eyes look glassy. "Everyone hates me! I don't know what to do! And I'm holding everyone back from going home! I'm no warrior of the mind. O grey eyed maiden, I failed you."

 

Athena felt her heart shatter. Making sure to try to not cry she held his hand. "Why... Why do you think that..."

 

Odysseus started talking...

 

Athena just kinda sat there trying to process this.

 

Sure he never saw Penelope beating people with a stick but like, this is the type of man who flirted with an apple relying on innuendoes.

 

How could he not get this.

 

This was giving Athena even more reasons to take him to a nest where nothing can breath the wrong way around him.

 

Athena allowed him to talk for as much as h needs because sighing. "Odysseus... I'm gonna hold your hand while I say this."

 

Athena held his hand and sighed with the weight of a single mother with 5 kids and started really metaphorically smacking sense into Odysseus.

 

This reminds her if Telemachus's birth.

 

How Odysseus was who had to explain to her that no, he is not the one giving birth.

 

And a very awkward birds and the bees talk.

 

Athena finished talking and finally breathed. "So, yeah."

 

Odysseus stared at her as if she spoke tye secrets of the fates before immediately looking away and blushing profusely.

 

It reminded her of when he met Penelope.

 

She didn't have the "hurt him and I'll kill you" talk, oh no. She's a goddess after all. She gave Penelope the "if you as so as make him frown I will turn you into a snail, throw you into Tartarus and make sure you spend the rest of your days being chased by birds" talk.

 

 


 

 

Odysseus felt, conflicted.

 

On one hand Athena never lies.

 

On the other it was hard to believe.

 

Everyone? Seriously? What's good in him anyways? He can't find it.

 

He was lucky for Penelope let alone literally everyone!

 

Athena's voice suddenly cut off his train of thoughts. "Wait, Odysseus what's wrong with your hands?"

 

Odysseus stared confused before looking down and screeched.

 

His arms were a gradient white, from fingertips to fading at the elbows.

 

 


 

 

Apollo twirled an arrow causally. "You know, they still see the moon being pulled, they know you're here."

 

Artemis scoffed. "Yeah, I know, dipshit."

 

Apollo's eyes flickered to her. "You aren't worries they'd show up on the moon to do something to you?"

 

Artemis sighed and sat down on the moon, staring into outer space. "I suppose, but... They aren't focused on me."

 

Apollo nodded, they infact weren't focused with her currently. "You gonna stay forever?"

 

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Not until they forget about this." 

 

Apollo grinned then started laughing. "Oh you can bet on Olympus we won't!"

Notes:

Yes I didn't write the dialogue because lazy... Pretend it's because Athena was using her mind this whole time not focusing on reality

"Wait but white hands can't be Odysseus' thing, it neither aligns with what you have him plus Hera is the white-armed goddes—" shh, she isn't here ok?/silly

Anyways I could soon edit this chapter to redo what appearance godly thing I gave Odysseus but only time will tell if it sticks

If y'all have any ideas lemme know