Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A week had passed. One whole week. Back in Madrid. And Xabi was still with his wife. Well, of course he was. Breakups of that scale won’t happen within one day. They would have to talk it over. The kids. Everything. And Xabi would have to try to make everything as amicable as possible. So they wouldn’t get hurt. His kids. Well at least so their hurt –with everything going on– would be minimized as best as possible. Rationally Kylian knew all of this. One week is not that much. But to Kylian. Every passing day made him more and more anxious.

Xabi at his house with his wife.

What could they even be doing? The thought was unsettling to Kylian. Xabi talking with his wife. About their relationship. Xabi having dinner with his wife and kids at home. Xabi tugging his kids into bed and then? After? Did he and his wife still sleep in the same bed? TOGETHER? Kylian didn’t know. He hoped not. And he felt fucking stupid about wanting to ask Xabi, paranoid and clingy. He must be on the couch. Kylian thought. Or a guest room, most likely. Suddenly he felt very unsettled about not knowing the exact layout of Xabi’s House. How many rooms, how many floors, how many beds?

And it didn’t help.

That he and Xabi couldn’t really see each other right now –IN PERSON– without raising heads. Really Kylian had not thought enough about how hard it would be. Compared to Miami. Especially now, while the team was on break. No training. No games. No team meetings or dinners. No Xabi. No nothing. Not even calls, because Xabi was understandably paranoid his wife would overhear him somehow. A little ridiculous, Kylian had thought. But whatever.

So texts. That was all he got right now.

He couldn’t just invite Xabi to his house either. Nobody even knew how close they were. Well except maybe Aurelien. Vaguely. But that was it.

And Kylian. His house. Was always busy.

With staff. Security staff, his personal assistant, who was very close with his mom. Gardeners. Cleaners once a week. Yeah. If Xabi came over to his house, people would know. His staff would know, which means his assistant would know, which means his mom would know. And his mom, well she was one of the VERY few people WHO KNEW. Not about Xabi, but about Kylian’s tendencies to LIKE men exactly like Xabi. A little TOO MUCH. They had never really spoken about it, his sexuality, but somehow Kylian knew that she knew. So yeah, if Kylian would suddenly invite Xabi over to his house. That would raise an eyebrow or two. For sure. It could NOT happen. At least not right now.

Kylian was anxiously wiggling his leg sitting on his big living room couch. He had tried to play fifa, but he couldn’t even concentrate on that. So now he had returned to scrolling. Scrolling instagram. Closing the app. Scrolling youtube without clicking on any videos. They all seemed to be the wrong things right now to distract him. But then –inevitably– he opened it again. Like he had been doing all day. His new app. Signal. Xabi had made him download it before they flew back to Madrid. Paranoid.

“It’s probably safer. It’s well encrypted.”

Kylian had scoffed at that. This old man is a little too scared of surveillance and technology. He had thought. Smiling to himself. But of course he had obliged. To calm him down, calm Xabi’s mind. Because Xabi was willing to put everything on the line for him, so he might as well download some stupid messaging app.
So there it was now on his phone, his app. His and Xabi’s chat –lonely– sitting at the top. The only chat inside that app as of now.

And still.

There weren’t any new messages from today. Nothing. Kylian groaned. Usually Xabi would have texted by now. It was 2pm. AND NOTHING. No good morning. Just nothing. Kylian’s leg started wiggling again. Anxious. And he scrolled up going through their messages, like he had done probably a million times by now. Trying to find something. A reason.

For his silence.

— I miss you so much you don’t even know baby. Can’t wait to see that funny face of yours again. ❤️

* yeah? how much? 😏😏😏😏😏
* enough to get this divorce done by tomorrow?
* just kidding, no pressure (a little pressure)
* 😆😆😆
* how is it? with your kids?
* is it going well?

* I’m bored
* my house is all big and lonely without you 🥺
* maybe I should put on some old games and watch you on TV 😆😆😆
* anyways
* I hope it’s all going well ❤️
* love you old man 🤪
* going to try and do something now
* sorry for all the notifications 😆
* your wife is probably wondering who is texting you all day 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫
* sorry
* I‘ll calm down
* love you
* ❤️

Honestly the more he had read through the messages today. The more he had started to feel embarrassed. God he was being so clingy. EMBARRASSING. So many fucking messages. Why couldn’t he just be a little normal.
But Xabi –when he found time during the day– between fights with his wife and attempts to come to an agreement on divorce. Always patiently answered him. One by one.

Almost every message.

* yeah? how much? 😏😏😏😏😏
— So much I want to die!! It’s all exhausting Kylian. She is not being very cooperative… I wish I could just hold you a little at night at least after dealing with her staring daggers at me all day. She hates me now. It’s sad.

* enough to get this divorce done by tomorrow?
— I wish!!!

* how is it? with your kids?
— They’re fine. We haven’t told them yet. But they obviously know something is going on. The mood is not great… We’re fighting a lot. She keeps insisting on breakfast together with everyone and then just keeps staring me down like I‘m a dead man walking.

* love you old man 🤪
— You’re so annoying…

* love you
— I love you too Kylian. ❤️

And then a little later.

* maybe I should put on some old games and watch you on TV 😆😆😆
— Also please go outside Kylian and do something fun. This will all take a while, but I‘m working on it. You cannot rot away in your house all summer because of me.
— Go on vacation or something. You barely get any weeks off as it is. Please, okay? Im starting to feel bad over here.

But Kylian didn’t want to. It felt wrong. To not stay in Madrid knowing Xabi was here. He needed the proximity, even though they couldn’t even go see each other. Just knowing that Xabi was in the same City –he didn’t even live that far away– somehow soothed his mind a little. Kylian kept scrolling and scrolling through their chat. Revisiting. Overthinking. Re-reading everything. Over and over.

He had arrived back at at the last few messages now.

* sleep well old man 👴👴👴👴👴
* don’t dream of me too much 😘😏

— Good night Kylian ❤️
— I‘ll dream of you as much as I can!

* hey
* no good morning today? 😆😆😆

* okay.
* well good morning to you too 😒😒😒
* 😂😂😂😂😂

* is something wrong?

* okay, i don’t know what’s going on, but please just text me back when you have time
* I‘m getting a little worried

* i love you ❤️❤️❤️
* just text me back yeah? 😔

Kylian let out a deep sigh, letting himself fall back against the couch in frustration. He had sent the last two texts about 45 minutes ago and he already had the urge to text again. He was starting to get REALLY worried. What if something happened? Something. BAD. What if he was hurt? Or his kids? One of them? Shit. Kylian was starting to feel a bit sick. Worry in his gut.

No message since last night.

This was not like him at all. And Xabi usually sent the morning texts. Kylian sent the good night one and Xabi the good morning one. That’s just how it went. Because usually Xabi went to bed later and got up earlier than Kylian.

Kylian dragged his hands against his face. Frustrated. Worried. I NEED TO CALL HIM. He thought. The worst that can happen is him not picking up, right? Even though they had agreed on texting. Fuck this. Could be a work call, right? Just a player checking in with his coach. Who is going to say anything about that.

Kylian sat. At the edge of the couch now. Worried. Knee bouncing up and down again. Fuck this. He thought. He can’t leave me hanging like this. It’s been over 12 hours. Fuck it. And Kylian decided now.

I‘m going to call him.

Xabi had not picked up. Three times.

Kylian had called. The first two had rang through. But the third one. It had been denied. DENIED? Fucking denied. Kylian could feel himself get angry now. He cannot be for real. I’m sitting here all day like fucking Rapunzel in her tower waiting for one fucking text and he can’t even pick up the phone once.

But then he pulled himself back. Pulled himself out of it a little. Maybe something happened. Maybe he is at the hospital. Maybe someone got hurt. Maybe one of his kids. Maybe he is reconsidering. Maybe he already has. Maybe he is cutting me off. Maybe this is it.

PING!

The message notification rang loudly in his ear. The notification sound unambiguous. Xabi. The sound only one app made. Their app. Their chat.

Frightening now.

Because Kylian was already dreading to look at the message. Already dreading the reason for the 12 hours of silence. What if this was it. What if he changed his mind. Maybe reality is finally starting to set in for him. What if he doesn’t want me anymore.

Kylian winced at the thought.

Then he slowly picked the phone up from where it lay on the couch, face down. He quietly opened the app and then.

PING!

Another text had gone in. Kylian looked at the phone in dread.

Reading the open chat.

* i love you ❤️❤️❤️
* just text me back yeah? 😔

— stop messaging my husband!!! stop calling!!
— do you even know what you’re doing? you must think you can just take everything???? you’re trying to destroy a marriage of over ten years you must be fucking insane!!!!!

PING!

— if people knew!!! you can be glad I‘m not a terrible person!!! I could have fucking outed you by now if I wanted!! disgusting!!! going after married men and to think my son looks up to you

PING!

— you should be ashamed

PING!

— leave me and my family alone!!!!

Kylian looked at the phone screen in terror. Mind reeling. Spiraling. Crashing.

She took his phone.

SHE TOOK HIS FUCKING PHONE.

Chapter Text

Xabi‘s mind was a blur.

The only thing still prominent was exhaustion. Complete and utter exhaustion. He couldn’t take it anymore. He had tried to escape her. Now having settled into his office. Sitting face sank in his hands at his desk. And she was still going. Talking at him. He couldn’t even make out the words at this point in time. His brain had progressed to tuning it out. He just couldn’t anymore. Her voice still shrill and agitated in his ear. It had been going for hours now.

He knew things were seriously wrong the minute he woke up this morning and couldn’t find his phone. He had slept in the guest room, like every night since he had returned from Miami. And when he woke up.

His nightstand was empty.

So after freaking out for several minutes. He slowly, dreadfully had made his way down the stairs. Bracing himself for what was about to happen. He had to. For Kylian. He had to get his phone back. Send him a text. He was probably already waiting, wondering what’s going on.

And when he arrived in the dining area of the living room. There she sat. Staring daggers. At him. His phone in front of her. On the long dining table. Face down.

„I sent the kids over to my parents.“ She said. Tone cold.

„We need to talk.“

And Xabi. Helpless. Because he needed his phone back. For Kylian. Had made his way over sitting down on the chair to her right, letting out a deep sigh as he did.

„Look–„ He started.

Tone impossibly calm. He had to be careful about this. Very careful.

„Don’t fucking ‚Look‘ me Xabi!“ She cut in, interrupting, sharp, cutting.

Silence.

Xabi’s head sank. And she was staring him down in disbelief. Shaking her head, incredulous. Like she couldn’t believe this was actually her husband sitting in front of her right now. And then after a while.

„I really cannot fucking believe you! Are you fucking stupid or what?“

Xabi looked up at her, eyebrows raising as if to ask: What do you want me to say? He couldn’t say anything.

She laughed. Bitterly. Scoffing. Shaking her head, before she looked at him again.

„I fucking knew it, you know! That this was about something else. Someone else! I fucking knew it.“

She deepened her voice, mockingly. Imitating Xabi now.

„Honey, I just feel like we have grown apart. We don’t even have anything in common anymore…“
She looked at him again.

„Un –fucking– believable!!!“

And then she laughed again, louder this time, shrill, like acid was burning her from the inside.

„But him??? REALLY? You are so fucking dumb Xabi I almost feel bad for you!“

„Got yourself a little boytoy and all of a sudden you want to lay down everything???“

„Don’t call him tha–„ Xabi cut in. Useless.

„I‘ll call him whatever the fuck I want!!! What makes you think I have to respect that little cunt??? HUH???“

Xabi lightly shook his head. Holding back. He couldn‘t say anything.

„I approached him okay? Just don’t–„ He started.

„Oh of course!“

She scoffed.

„You know when other people used to talk about mid-life-crisis I always thought it was a fucking joke!!! But this????? THIS? This really takes the fucking cake Xabi.“

„You know he will probably become tired of you. Sooner or later. It’s inevitable! People like that, they don’t think!!! They just walz in destroying any and everything and then after a while they move on to the next thing to destroy.“

She paused. Now looking directly. At Xabi. Almost sympathetic. Pleading. Her eyes begging him to see. To see clear.

„Wake up Xabi!!! This kid is going to drop you the minute he sees something more shiny!!!“

„You don’t know him!“ He said, shaking his head now.

„He is not AT ALL how you think!“ He added. Tone frustrated.

She settled back against her chair. Shaking her head again.

„Can you give me my phone back?“ Xabi muttered now, trying, already exhausted.

Another scoff. Then she looked at him with a pout. In fake sympathy.

Mocking him.

„What? So you can text your little boy again? Tell him how much you miss him? How horrible your wife is being?“

„How did you even get into my phone, huh?“ Xabi asked now, cutting her off.

„Fingerprint authentication. While you were sleeping.“ She said. Matter-of-factly.

„You’re fucking crazy!“ Xabi muttered. Shaking his head now.

„OH? I‘M CRAZY, HUH???“

She laughed again. Bitter. Heartless.

„I knew there was a reason you were holding onto that phone like it was your last lifeline for the past few days!!!“

„Can you please give me phone back?“ Xabi asked again. Tone cold now. Bitter.

Not entertaining any of what she was saying.

„Sure. Xabi. Here you go. Here is your phone!“

She handed it to him. Tone mocking. Xabi tried to open it. And tried again. It didn’t work. She must have reset it and changed his passcode. Even his fingerprint didn’t work anymore. He looked up at her, face exhausted.

„You can’t be fucking serious.“

„Oh but I am Xabi. I am.“

„We‘re settling this TODAY. You are not texting that boy again!“

„He is a grown man–„

„Please Xabi… You‘re almost old enough to be his fucking father… Reflect a little!“

„You know. If this ever comes out. You will get all the blame. You know that right.“

She paused.

„He is one of your fucking players Xabi! REALLY? What were you even thinking. What do you even plan on doing with him? Huh? Walk around holding hands??? Going on little dates with Kylian fucking Mbappé???“

„I‘m not that stupid.“ Xabi said now. Tone defeated. Trying to stand up for himself a little.

„You know if you really were that fucking unhappy with our sex life you could have just told me. But you never make any effort either, do you? Well not for your family at least.“

„Hell, you couldn’t have just watched a little bit of fucking gay porn if you wanted to experiment so badly all of a sudden???“

„We have not slept with each other.“ Xabi said now. Like a statement.

It was a lie.

But it didn’t feel like a lie to him. Because they had. They had stopped themselves. The last few weeks. So many times. Had restrained themselves. Out of respect, for her. Xabi felt resentment and regret growing inside of himself. So we stopped ourselves for weeks only to have it still come to this? How fucking unnecessary.

This was it. The worst of it. The worst way all of this could have gone. The exact thing he had not wanted to happen.

„Sure. Sure Xabi. You’re leaving your family and kids for a guy you haven’t even slept with. Be fucking serious. Don’t act like I‘m stupid.“

„Well you can believe whatever the fuck you want, but I‘m telling the truth here.“

Another lie.

„Well I‘m glad you could enjoy yourself a little and get it out of your system Xabi. Because THIS–„

She pointed at his phone.

„STOPS NOW!“

„You cannot force me to be married to you, you know that right?“ Xabi said now. Slow. Quiet.

„You‘ll see Xabi. You will see. A few days of no contact with him. And you will understand. This thing. Whatever you think it is. It does NOT have a future. It makes NO sense. You will see.“

„You‘re insane.“ He said. Final. Getting up now. Trying to escape her. Walk away.

„Don’t fucking walk away from me now Xabi!!!“

She got up. Following him.

„Where are you even going right now? Hmmm?“

„I don’t know.“ He raised his arms. Exhausted.

„Away from you!!!“ He said.

Walking up the stairs now. Her still behind him, still breathing down his neck.

„Yeah? That’s what you always do, huh Xabi?“

They had arrived at the upper floor now. Xabi walking down the hallway. Aimless. Just AWAY.

„You always walk away from your fucking problems. Your kids barely get to see you anymore. But you don’t even fucking care about any of that, huh?“

That one stung. A lot.

Xabi didn’t say anything. Just kept walking. Into his office now. At the end of the hallway. Moving cartons still standing around. Still unpacked.

„Got nothing to say? Huh? Xabi? It’s because you know I‘m right. You know it.“

Xabi settled down. At his desk. Burying his face inside his hands. She kept going.

„You know I have always been so fucking patient with you!!! Always! But I guess it’s time to reveal some fucking truths now. Because apparently that’s what you fucking need!“

And it kept going. And going. Xabi‘s ear rang. Trying to tune her voice out now. Trying to think of the only thing that could make him feel at peace.

Kylian.

Trying to think of his laugh, his dimples. The little creases around his eyes when he laughed, how his eyes tuned into two squinty lines. Cute. He thought of everything. His little frowns when he was thinking too hard. His big eyes when he was confused. How stupid his laugh sounded when he was cackling. Annoying. Obnoxious. Loud. In everything. His Kylian. Loving loudly. Fearlessly. Going through life. Determined. A presence so loud, you couldn’t help but look at. Be drawn in. And want to give him everything. Everything he desired, everything he wanted. Everything he deserved. Xabi smiled a faint, exhausted smile to himself. Face still buried inside his hands, while she kept going.

This would be a very long few days. But he would make it. He could take it. For him. For Kylian.

His Kylian.

Chapter Text

After the last of Xabi’s wife’s messages had gone in Kylian stayed frozen on his couch for about half an hour. Empty. Like he’d lose balance and would fall if he got up too suddenly. This was bad. This was REALLY bad. And he couldn’t even contact Xabi right now. He couldn’t talk to ANYONE. He couldn’t do anything. Because nobody. NOBODY was supposed to know. And yet. SHE KNEW. She knows.

She knows.

His mind was stuck. She knows about me and Xabi. She knows I like men. She knows that we cheated. She knows why Xabi is leaving her.

She knows.

Kylian felt sick. He needed a glass of water. So he got up. Wobbly. Walking towards his kitchen island slowly, like in a trance, to pour himself a glass of still water. And then he took a sip. Another. And another. Before he stood. Rooted. Staring at the surface of the water in his hand. Like the answer was swimming in there. Just beneath the surface. Waiting to be found.

They’re going to kill me.

She is going to kill me. Xabi. He might want to kill me as well. My mom. She will definitely kill me. My dad. He doesn’t even know. About. Yeah– he will kill me. Fuck. THE CLUB. Oh they will send people to kill me for sure. The press. They will EAT ME.

Alive.

Kylian took a deep breath. Trying desperately to regain some composure. She didn’t tell anyone. NOT YET. She probably wants to protect Xabi as well. I HOPE SO. Really. Telling people –the public– would not reflect well on her either. She wouldn’t. At least for her kids. Their kids. She wouldn’t tell anyone. Would she?

Couldn’t blame her if she did though.

He sighed.

Maybe I deserve this. For being so fucking stupid. SELFISH. I shouldn’t have. We shouldn’t have. It’s my fault. Maybe it’s time. This is it. The great Kylian Mbappé no more. Everyone! Get ready for the most disastrous downfall of a footballer. EVER. It would suit me honestly, to go out like this. So fucking stupid. Unnecessary.

Kylian dragged a hand across his face.

He let out another breath.

Something like regret and relief sinking into his body at the same time. Everything flashing before his eyes. All those years of hard work –snap– gone. Just like that.

But maybe that would mean that it would END.

End just a little bit. Finally. A little less pressure. A little less attention. A little less people praying on his downfall. Just a little bit of relief.

Kylian snorted in a bit of disgust.

Like he couldn’t believe himself. Can’t even be serious in this type of situation, huh? With everything on the line. He shook his head a little. I’m so SELFISH. I really can’t be looking at ways to take advantage of this? Right fucking now? This can’t be what I’m doing right now.

SELFISH.

Kylian’s mind suddenly rang. Alarmed.

XABI.

Fuck. What was he doing? What was he thinking. What is even happening to him right now? She might not kill me, but she might kill him. Kylian’s fingers tingled. Itching to grab something. His phone. Do something. But what. Their only current line of communication had been CUT. He was swimming all by himself. Not knowing where to go. What to do. Not seeing any land. He couldn’t help him. He couldn’t reach him. He didn’t even know where he was right now.

He had to get out of the kitchen.

Before someone noticed.

Before one of his staff came walking around the corner seeing him paler than a ghost. Face sunken with fear. He took another sip. Putting the half-full glass back on the counter. Before he carefully made his way upstairs.

Still feeling off balance.

And after a while he had made it to his bedroom. He crawled his way onto the bed. Face down. Just breathing. In. Out. In Out. Before he slowly crawled over to his nightstand. Opening the top drawer. And he pulled out the bucket hat. The one Xabi had bought him in Miami. The only thing he had left of him right now. He had broken the glasses –the ones Xabi also bought– accidentally. Stupid.
And the book. The horror thriller. He had given it back to Xabi a while ago. I should have kept it. He thought.

And then he sat up a little leaning against the headboard now. Pulling the hat over his head. Like it would somehow save him. Protect him. Shield him from everything that was not him and Xabi. And he just sat. Hat pulled deeply over his head. Still. And after a little while, he let out a silent tear. Wiping it away just as quickly. Angry now. At himself.

Why do I always destroy everything?

Mess everything up. At some point it has to be my fault right? Everywhere I go. People eventually start to hate me, everything I touch just seems to crumble, all I ever seem to produce is hate and resentment. And now. Another tear fell. He wiped it away. Xabi. The tears started rolling down his cheeks. Silently. I’m such a moron. I made him think this could work. I made him want this.

And now?

A quiet sob broke out of him now. And he let it happen. Let himself cry for a bit.

For them. For their thing. Him and Xabi. The only thing that ever made him feel safe. Despite it all. At least for a moment, when he was in Xabi’s arms. He felt safe. Like nothing could touch him.

And after a while. He calmed down a little.

I need to pull it together. I can’t be sitting here. DOING NOTHING. I need to do something. But what?

WHAT?

Kylian grabbed his phone from his pocket. Quickly closing the opened chat. From earlier. Like he’d turn blind if he looked at it for another second.

Aurelien.

He knows. I think he does.

I can tell him. Ask him what to do? He pulled up his contact. Thumb hovering over it for a moment. Debating. Worried. Fuck it. He is my friend. He will help me. He thought.

And then he hit dial.

Chapter Text

“Kylian, what’s up?”

Aurelien picked up, light, relaxed as ever. Like everything was normal. Like Kylian’s entire world wasn’t crashing right now. Crumbling in front of his eyes.

“Kylian?”

“Uhm. Yeah?”

He cleared his voice a little. Still coated over with unspoken truths and silent cries.

“Kylian, I’m on vacation with my girlfriend, this better be good man…” Aurelien joked.

“I just– where are you right now?” Kylian asked. Rushed.

Aurelien chuckled a little confused now.

“I just told you I’m on vacation–“

“No! No, I mean… Is there? Is there like people around where you are right now?”

“Kylian…” Aurelien said now.

It sounded like a warning. Like a question. Like ‘You better haven’t done anything stupid.’

“Just. Just answer me okay? Aurel?”

Kylian could hear himself sound panicked. And Aurelien reacted instantly.

“No, no people. I’m at the house. Our vacation spot, I mean. She is outside, tanning. It was getting too hot for me. Outside. What’s going on Kylian?”

Worry had crept into Aurelien’s voice during that last question.

“Uhm.” Kylian started.

“Just tell me.”

Aurelien sounded like dread was taking a hold of him. Fearful anticipation.

“You– uhm. You remember the hallway right? The Dortmund game? When you were looking for Cama’s glasses?” He asked. Carefully.

“Yeah.” A pause “Yeah Kylian I remember.”

Aurelien sounded really worried now.

But Kylian kept pushing. Kept going. Because he just needed– he needed to tell someone. He needed someone to talk to. Talk with. Right now.

“Well uhm. I think you kind of figured. That– I mean. Me. And Xabi.”

Kylian stopped. Waiting for confirmation. Aurelien let out a breath on the other end of the line.

“I mean. Yeah. But– Is that? I mean is that still going on? It’s nothing serious right?”

It sounded like Aurelien hoped so.

That it was nothing serious. Because well, who could blame him. The implications of what a real relationship between Kylian and Xabi would entail were way too daunting. Because that would imply? Well pretty much exactly what was going on right now. Divorce. Wife. Kids. Cheating. Anger. Danger. Collapse.

“Uhm.”

“Kylian, please tell me you’re not being serious right now?”

“We– I– you don’t. You don’t understand okay? He gets me. More than like–“

He shook himself a little trying to get his mind straight.

“I really love him. Aurel. I do. More than like ever– Someone. Before.”

There was a little bit of silence on the other end of the line.

“Aurel?” A pause. “Can you please say something?”

“Yeah. Yeah. I– You know he has kids right Kylian? And a wife? I mean surely you know that. What that means?”

Aurelien asked. Careful now. Sympathetic. Because he could tell Kylian was being honest. Honest about how deeply he felt and he also knew. How hard it was for Kylian –specifically. To find something like that.

Something real.

“Yeah. Yeah I–“ And then Kylian kept going.

“He was– He is planning on leaving her. His wife. Divorce and all that, you know–“

Kylian tried to make it sound lighter than what it was. Like he wasn’t breaking up a family.

“You’re– you’re being serious?” Aurel asked again. Shocked.

“Yup.” Kylian said. “Dead serious. We decided on it, together.”

Silence.

“Aurel?”

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m still here. I just need to wrap my head around all this right now.”

“Xabi wants to divorce his wife? For you?”

“Well technically they have been having issues since before I even came into the picture, so–“ Kylian said.

Excusing. Trying to wash himself clean of guilt.

“Yeah… right.”

Kylian took a beat. And then he just decided to put it all out there, no pulling back or retreating now.

“That’s not all. Actually. I called because of– Something happend. Today.”

“Yeah and what is that, Kylian?”

Aurel said now, sounding even more exhausted. Still processing all the information he had just received, already bracing himself for the next truth bomb about to drop on him.

“She kind of– Well. Uhm. She– His wife. She– Found out. Today. About. You know.”

A beat of silence.

“Kylian… What the actual fuck?”

“What does that even mean? ‘She found out.’ Do you know what she is doing? I mean– is she like telling anyone? This is really fucked. LIKE RUIN YOUR CAREER FUCKED. You know that. RIGHT?”

“OF COURSE.” Kylian’s voice raised a little, before he caught himself.

“I know okay? You think I fucking planned on her finding out. It was never supposed to happen!”

“Well it happened Kylian.”

“YEAH. I KNOW.”

Silence.

“You’re not being really helpful right now Aurel. I was doing the panicking fine all by myself.”

Aurelien laughed at that, in a bit of disbelief, but warm still, sympathetic. Like a friend.

“Kylian. You just dropped so much on me, let me get my head straight for a moment at least.”

He let out a breath.

“She took his phone and found our texts. And now. I– I don’t know what to do. I can’t reach him right now. I don’t know what is going on over there. What she is doing. You know?”

“Okay.”

“I don’t know what I should do now.”

Another beat. A bit of silence. Contemplation.

“Maybe, uhh, she still has his phone right? Kylian? Probably?”

“Yeah, pretty sure she does.”

“Maybe I can call. Some stupid question or something. About workout. Training. You know something about my personal workout routine not interfering with the coaches plan?”

“Okay?”

“What I mean is– I could call Xabi’s phone under some pretense. To check the situation. See what’s going on. Maybe I’ll catch Xabi himself –I could...”

Aurelien stopped himself, like he was innerly wincing.

“I could send him a message. From you. Or something. What do you think?”

“You’d do that?”

“Yeah. Kylian. I’m kind of offering, don’t make me reconsider now.”

Aurel let out a nervous chuckle.

“That would be– that would be really great. Thank you Aurel.” Kylian said now, sincere. Thankful.

Another short silence.

“Kylian.”

Aurel started again. Sounding preachy, yet earnest.

“Just tell me this is really worth it for you, okay? This cannot be some stupid thing, if you actually go through with it. Like. THIS. Divorce and that. That’s serious.”

“I know. Aurel. Believe me, I know. Trust me, when I tell you I have thought about it.”

Kylian took a breath.

“I almost broke it off with him. Back in Miami. But I–“

His voice was turning a little wobbly.

“I just can’t, okay? He– he makes me feel safe. I– Just thinking about not being with him again. It makes me physically sick– REALLY. And we really fit. Like REALLY. FIT. Romantically, the humor, even the sex, the chemist–“

Aurelien interrupted him now. Frantic.

“Alright! ALRIGHT. I get it. I got the gist, no need to continue.”

Kylian chuckled a little, relieved. Some sense of safety and orientation returning into his body and mind.

“I’ll call him Kylian. Just tell me, yeah? What you need him to hear? What I should tell him?”

Chapter Text

Xabi‘s phone started vibrating. Ringing. In front of him. On his desk. Interrupting the lack of silence.

And it made her stop.

Finally.

The ranting, the lecturing. The grievances that had waited years and years to be aired. For a moment at least. She stopped.

„Don’t tell me that’s him again?“ She said now.

Drained. Dissatisfied. Exhausted from her own anger that had made itself known. For hours at this point.

„What do you mean AGAIN?“

„I told him to stop call–„

„You WHAT?“

Xabi rushed to grab his phone now. Kylian had called. KYLIAN CALLED HIM. Which meant Kylian was worried.

HE WAS WORRIED.

„Well. Who is it?“ She asked. Worn out. Tired.

„It‘s– it’s not him.“

Xabi‘s shoulders sank in disappointment. He would recognize his number. Kylian’s. He memorized it on the flight back from Miami. Just in case.

„Actually, I cannot tell who this is, because you reset my fucking phone.“

He looked up now. Accusatory. But without much malice behind his voice. He was too tired, too tired to be mad right now.

„Sorry.“ She apologized. Simple. Small.

The first apology she had uttered since this morning. Xabi could tell. She was also growing tired of whatever their day had become. The constant yelling. Until exhaustion.

„Pick up, Xabi. Maybe it’s important.“

Xabi looked back at her now. Up from his desk. She seemed earnest enough. Still a little worried for him. In all this. She still had care for him. It broke Xabi a little, on the inside.

What had they become? Turned into?

She deserved none of this.

„Go on!“ She added now, urging him to finally pick up.

Xabi cleared his voice. Bracing himself. To act normal. Pick up a phone. Like usual.

„Hi, hello. This is Xabi Alonso. Who is speaking?“

His voice sounded a little foreign to Xabi‘s own ears.

„Uhh. Hi Coach. It’s– It’s Aurelien.“

„Who is it?“ His wife was whisper shouting now. Gesturing wildly. She wanted to know.

„AURELIEN, hi. This is surprising. What’s going on?“

It was a response to both Aurelien and his wife.

She was nodding now. Pointing. Gesturing, that she‘d leave the room. To let Xabi do his work. Speak to his player. Understanding. Letting him do his job. Alone. In peace. Like always.

No. REALLY.

She didn’t deserve all this. She really didn’t.

„Uhhh. I was wondering? Uhm. About my workout plan. Routine. I–„ Aurelien continued now.

This was weird. Why would Aurelien call him for that. On holiday. That would be something to ask the fitness coaches if anything. Still Aurelien went on.

„I met with my doctor and. It’s a bit private, actually. Is– uhm. Is anyone else with you? Uh. Listening in? Cause I really don’t want this to be, you know– It’s not bad or anything. Just don’t need everyone to know.“

Oh. Wait. Xabi was sensing something. Could this. Could this be?

„I‘m alone right now, Aurel. What’s up?“ He rushed out.

Xabi could hear Aurelien let out a breath on the other side of the line. Like he had been holding it in this entire time.

„Good.“ He said. And then.

„Well, I really don’t know how else to go about this– So I‘m just going to put everything out there. And you better bear with me, because this all makes me insanely uncomfortable, but I‘m willing to– Kylian asked me to do this.“

Kylian.

Kylian was behind this. Xabi had sensed it immediately. His heart skipped a beat. He was reaching out to him. Even in this. Despite it all. Despite the locked phone and being told off by his wife. Kylian had managed it. To reach out. Determined as ever.

„Okay.“ Is all Xabi managed to answer. Dumbly.

„So. Uh– Kylian kind of. Told me everything. About. Well I think you already know. I mean I also knew, already. Well kind of. Uh. Not the full scope.“

Aurel cleared his voice to continue. To stop rambling. To stop himself from beating around the bush.

„He wanted to know. Whether everything was alright. With you. Right now. Since your wife took your phone. And he also wants me to tell you that –uhh– he loves you. And he really misses you and he wants to see you again. Soon.“

Another pause.

„Also. He hopes your wife won’t tell anyone. Not that you can do anything about that if it happens. But he‘d just like to know. Whether that is. Uhhh. A possibility. Well whether you think it’s a possibility. That she would go around. Telling people.“

„She won’t!“ Xabi answered. Quickly. Honest.

Because he knew.

For all their mess, for all her grievances. They still cared about each other. On some level. Him and his wife. They had shared too much, too many years, too many moments. And they still shared a lot. Most of all both of their kids. She would never. Not in a million years. Hurt him like this. Hurt herself like this, or their children. On purpose. She would never.

„Good.“ Aurel answered. Simply.

Though he seemed really relieved about that one. On the other end of the line. Who could blame him really.

„Where? And how?“ Xabi asked now. Rushed.

Before catching himself.

„How can I meet him?“

He whispered that one a little. Still scared she might be listening in.

„So– Yeah. Uhm. There is this luxury hotel. Downtown. The big one. Kylian, he goes there sometimes to eat. Swears they have the best french cuisine in the city. Uh. So he thought. You might be able. To go there. Book a room. And he‘d tell his staff to drive him there like usual. To eat. And then you can meet up or whatever?“

„Okay? Okay.“ Xabi was nodding. Though Aurelien couldn’t see.

Wow. Kylian was really good at organizing, if he wanted something. Determined as ever. Xabi smiled to himself. His Kylian. Still full of surprises.

„The room. Should be number 408. It’s usually available on the day. They keep it free. For spontaneous bookings. Kylian thought maybe friday night? If that’s doable, for you?“

„I‘ll manage it.“ Xabi answered, simply.

Because he would. That was in two days. He would manage it. For Kylian.

„So. Cool? I guess. That’s all?“

Aurelien asked now. A little unsure.

He really was a godsend. Kylian is incredibly lucky to have a friend like him. Xabi thought. So he said it.

„You’re a great friend Aurel. Really! Please tell him. That I love him too. And I miss him. And I can’t wait to see him. On Friday. I‘ll be there. Room 408.“

The number had already burned itself into Xabi’s retinas. Visible when he closed his eyes. He‘d never forget it. It had already become a part of them now. Their thing, number 408. Intertwined.

„Uh. Thank you.“

Aurelien chuckled a little.

„You two better never put me through something like this again though!“

And after a short pause.

„I‘ll tell him. Kylian. What you said.“

Another pause.

„So. Bye then? I guess?“

„Yeah, Aurel. Thanks again, really. Bye!“

Aurelien was first to hang up. Immediately after the conversation had ended. Xabi let out a breath.

He would be meeting Kylian.

In two days. And that made him hopeful. Determined. He would fix things until then. With her. A little at least. Apologize. She deserved that.

A proper apology.

Xabi hoped that it would work. Genuinely. She deserved to move on. Properly. Deserved something better. Maybe it would do her good. The divorce. Maybe she‘d finally find someone that shared her values. Her lifestyle. Someone less absent. Someone willing to spend time on her.

That‘s what she deserved. Xabi had never been that for her. And at this point. It was too late to fix. For both of them. They‘d been broken long ago. They had just both been to prideful to admit it.

Yes.

This would do them good. Both of them.

Maybe the breakup had not gone how it should. Ugly. Messy. But maybe finally having something solid –Cheating– to blame it on –their breakup– would also help her. A clean cut. To move on. Not keep on trying to make something work, that had long stopped working.

Yes. Xabi was sure now. This would be good.

For everyone.

Chapter Text

Room 408. A door. In a hotel hallway.

Kylian couldn’t help but smile to himself as he knocked. This was so much like their beginning. And just like the first time that he had knocked on Xabi‘s door. He was nervous. Because they hadn’t really spoken. Because maybe Xabi wasn’t actually there. Behind that door. Nervous because he had not seen Xabi in over a week now. Which wasn’t that long if you thought about it. But after what their thing had been in Miami –closeness everyday– it had felt like ages to him.

But then. Eventually. The door opened. Quietly, carefully. And there he was. Xabi. And Kylian’s nervousness faltered immediately –vanished– because there was nothing on Xabi‘s face right now except adoration and fondness. Kylian’s face grew into a smile, dimples creased deep now. It was almost too much, so much that his cheeks started to hurt. And Xabi’s smile started to grow wider too. Grinning now.

„Come here, Kylian.“ Xabi said.

Welcoming him.

Waving him over a little, breaking him out of his daze. And Kylian did. Immediately. Stumbling into Xabi as he closed the door. And they fell into a hug. Kylian hugging him tightly, while Xabi carefully closed his arms around him.

„I missed you old man.“ Kylian said now. Quietly. Before adding.

„SO MUCH!“ A little louder.

And Xabi chuckled around him. Warm, welcoming and safe.

„I missed you more Kylian! You have no idea how much!“ Fond. Tender.

Before he placed a small kiss against Kylian’s temple. And then they stood like that for a while. Just breathing. Just existing in each other’s presence, in each other’s space. In each other’s arms. And Xabi‘s thumb found the back of Kylian’s neck, like it always would. Circling. It made Kylian turn his face into Xabi‘s neck a little more. Breathing him in. And then after a while. Kylian decided to pull back a bit. Looking at Xabi now. Big-eyed.

Earnest.

„I‘m sorry Xabi. About what happened.“

Xabi shook his head. Immediately.

„It’s not your fault, Kylian.“

„Yeah but, I–„ Kylian started again.

„No! I chose you, I cheated, I made these decisions all by myself. I don’t want you to blame yourself Kylian. It happened. She found out. That’s how it is now. We settled it. Please don’t beat yourself up over it, not for me at least!“

It was final.

Xabi didn’t want to speak about her, his –still– wife and Kylian knew that it would be pointless to try if he didn’t want to right now.

„Okay.“ Kylian said with a frown, pouty, voice small.

He had wanted, planned on taking some accountability onto himself at least, but Xabi would never let him.

Xabi shook him a little now. By his shoulders. Like he tended to do, whenever Kylian got mopey or pouty.

„Come on, I don’t want to waste my time with you on talking about this of all things!“ Xabi added now.

Determined to draw a definitive finish line beneath this part of the conversation. Steering it away from gloominess, towards something more fun.

Kylian caught the vibe immediately.

„Oh, yeah?“

„And what do you want to waste your time on then, huh? Old man?“

„Oh, this and that. You know. Stuff.“ Xabi shot him a wink.

„I have some ideas.“ Xabi smiled at him, knowing. A glint in his eye.

And Kylian –of course– could already feel it stirring in his gut. Want. Like clockwork. It never took long for it to appear whenever he was around Xabi. Especially now. After all those weeks of holding back. Waiting. But he knew Xabi wouldn’t make it that easy for him. He never did. Kylian liked the challenge, he did, but it could get. Frustrating. At times. Having to wait.

ALL THE TIME.

Xabi let go of him now and walked towards his suitcase, still unpacked on a table further back inside the room. He opened a little side pocket, before he halted.

„I got you a little gift Kylian.“ He said now. Looking somehow. Very amused.

It made Kylian shift a little in his place. Where he currently stood. That look from Xabi could only mean one thing. That was his very specific ‚I‘m making fun of you Kylian’ smile.

„Yeah? What is it?“ Kylian answered now.

Trying to sound a tinge annoyed. Like he didn’t love it whenever Xabi teased him. And then Xabi, still grinning, pulled a BOOK out of the side pocket of his suitcase.

A book.

Of fucking course.

„Here you go.“

Xabi had walked over and handed it to Kylian –the book– in a big gesture, like he was handing him a fucking Rolex or keys to an expensive car. Kylian took the book into his hands. It was bright pink.

It looked –VERY– cheap.

„Wow. Thanks.“ Kylian said.

Unimpressed. But he couldn’t help but smile. This was so stupid.

„What you don’t like my big romantic gesture Kylian? It really reminded me of us, you know?“

Xabi said, still grinning widely.

„This looks even worse than the last one. How much did you pay for this?“

Kylian said, looking up now, also grinning, raising his eyebrows.

„Like 6$, I think.“

Xabi started to laugh and Kylian joined in. This felt nice. Laughing together. Again. Being with Xabi. It just felt so good all the time. Made Kylian feel all warm and giddy. Cherished. Safe. Xabi made a wavy hand gesture now, prompting Kylian to turn the book around.

„It’s a romance novel this time, no more Swedish woods and ax-murderers. Read up!“

Kylian turned the book around. Looking at the short summary on the back cover.

„Against All Odds – A story of love and betrayal.“

Kylian looked up now, shaking his head a little.

„When Marlene starts her year as an au-pair in Australia she doesn’t expect anything. She just wants to get out of her small town and see the world.“

He looked up again. At Xabi. Eyebrows raised even higher now.

„Come on Kylian, keep reading!“ Xabi urged him. Still grinning.

„What she never expected was that she would fall in love. With a man she should have never fallen for. The father of the kids she was supposed to take care of. Things get messy. Everything is complicated. Everything seems against them. But will their love prevail? AGAINST ALL ODDS?“

Kylian finished reading.

Xabi chuckled now. Amused. He really thinks this joke is VERY funny. Old man humor. Kylian couldn’t help but feel fond.

„This is so stupid.“ Kylian chuckled, disbelieving.

„What you don’t think it’s romantic? Forbidden love, against all odds. Marlene is just like you!“

Xabi smiled now. Mischievous.

„Please don’t ever compare me to Marlene. I‘m a big-city-boy not a small-town-girl!“ Kylian paused. Contemplating. Before adding.

„Honestly this seems kind of problematic. Aren‘t au-pairs usually like 18 years old?“

„I don’t know. Just think of her as 26 Kylian. It will work just fine!“

Xabi was still smiling. He was enjoying this way too much.

„You must be crazy if you think I will actually read this.“ Kylian chuckled again.

„What? You decided to rot away in your house all summer, I thought I might as well give you some entertainment to enjoy.“

Xabi said now, fake-accusatory.

„So unappreciative, Kylian.“

Xabi shook his head. Feigning disapproval.

„Yeah?“ Kylian said now.

Sensing something. Trying. Testing the waters again.

„And what will you do if I don’t read your little romance novel old man?“

Something like challenge was sparkling in Kylian‘s eyes now.

„You can’t force me, you know.“ He added.

Eyes drawing big. Like a question. Pretend innocence. Because Kylian knew. Knew how much Xabi loved whenever he did that.

Xabi was drawing closer now. Smooth. Suave. Hands starting to rest against Kylian’s hipbones. Lightly.

„Oh, but I think I can, Kylian. Force you, I mean.“ Relaxed. Self-assured.

Kylian’s knees were starting to turn a little wobbly. He would never admit that though.

„Yeah? How?“

It came out a little breathy, he had meant for it to sound sexy, but it just sounded genuinely desperate.

„Because–„ Xabi started.

He was looking deep into Kylian’s eyes now. Boring into them. Staring. Confident as always. Assertive. Knowing.

„I always get what I want Kylian. And you. You won’t get what you want, unless you do –exactly– what I want.“

Fuck. Kylian felt himself melt. Like jelly. All over. This was so not fair. Xabi knowing exactly how to get to him. Fuck. Kylian wanted to– do whatever. Right now. Fall down to his knees. Whatever he had to do, to impress him, to please him, whatever he wanted, so that he would just–

His mind was reeling now. On how to get there. Quickly. As fast as possible.

„Yeah? Is that so?“ Kylian started.

Before adding shortly, the only thing his mind had been able to supply.

„And how many pages do I have to read?“

Kylian leaned in a little. Close to his ear. Whispering now.

„For you to fuck me again?“

And then to provoke Xabi a little more. To prompt him into action.

„Coach?“

Xabi pulled back. Drawing his hands back from Kylian’s hips. Crossing his arms in front of his chest. Breaking the contact. Entirely. Completely.

Seeming –VERY– satisfied.

Enjoying it. Relishing in it. His power. God. Kylian would kill him one day. The menace. Him and his little power-plays. He was so MEAN. UNFAIR. Kylian could feel himself harden a little inside his pants. And Xabi. He kept poking at him. Teasing him. Using only his words.

Having Kylian take it. The verbal humiliation.

„You’re always so eager, Kylian.“

„Always eager to IMPRESS me, huh?“

„So desperate for it.“

„My love, my approval, my attention.“

„You always need something from me.“

„Needy little thing aren’t you?“

„You‘d do absolutely anything. Wouldn’t you?“

Kylian could feel his own cheeks painting themselves redder with each word.

„You‘d read through a whole library, if that was the only way I‘d give it to you.“

„Despite hating every second of it. You‘d do it for me.“

„Wouldn’t you?“

„Kylian?“

Xabi paused. Deliberate. Expecting. Anticipating. An answer – from Kylian.

„Come on, Kylian. Answer me.“

He added after a while.

Xabi was staring him down now. Waiting. On his answer. Because it would come eventually. Because he would always get what he wanted. From Kylian at least. He would.

Yeah, Kylian was definitely going to kill him some day.

But not right now. Because right now, he needed–

„Yes.“

He got it out. His answer. Mortified. Desperate.

Because, yeah. Maybe he‘d go even that far. For him. But right now. He just needed him. XABI. And he would say anything. To get to it. As fast as possible. Preferably, right now.

„That’s what I like to hear, Kylian.“

Xabi rested his hands back on Kylian’s hips now. And Kylian. He melted under his touch. Red-faced. Waiting. Hard inside his pants. Desperate. Already rendered useless.

„Maybe you can prepare a little book report for me each week, huh? Kylian? And then I can decide whether it was adequate enough for my liking.“

This was torture. Xabi was a fucking tormentor. Kylian let his head fall against Xabi‘s chest now. Needy. Whiny. Waiting. Wanting.

„Please–„ Is all he got out.

„Please what? Kylian?“

Xabi drew one of his hands up to rest it against Kylian’s nape.

„Please just–„ A whine.

„I want to hear you say it, Kylian.“

A beat of silence followed. Kylian bracing himself. To let go of his last sense of pride.

„Please just fuck me Xabi. Right now. Please.“ He rushed out.

And then he added. Desperate. Whiny.

„I really need it.“

Xabi took a moment. Because of course he fucking did. Evil old man.

„Hmmm.“

„I think I can do that.“

Kylian’s head shot up. Looking at Xabi now. Still red faced and big eyed. Anticipating. While Xabi faked a bit more contemplation. Drawing it out –his decision– just a tiny bit longer.

„How could I ever deny a face as cute as this, huh?“

And then he gave Kylian’s nose a little boop, before he took the bright pink book out of Kylian’s hands. To be honest Kylian had forgotten he was still holding on to it. And now Xabi was turning him around, moving him, pushing him. With purpose.

Towards the hotel bed.

Chapter Text

They were at the edge of the bed now and Xabi left Kylian there. Standing. Waiting. As he made his way over to one of the nightstands to neatly place their new book on top of it and pull off his watch. Also putting it there. Kylian watched him. Impossibly still. Observing. Anticipating. Ready for instruction. God. Xabi loved it. Loved having him like this. All pliant and ready for him.

And Xabi. He decided to place himself onto the bed now, leaning against the headboard. Sitting himself on top of the fresh, untouched bedsheets still fully clothed. Except for his shoes. He‘d gotten rid of them earlier. He leaned back. Relaxed. And looked at Kylian. Still rooted. At the edge of the bed. Kylian was watching him, closely, like he was calibrating on what to do next. Because Kylian knew –and Xabi had made sure of that– that he couldn’t just take whatever he wanted from Xabi. He would get it only on Xabi‘s terms, always.

„Why don’t you strip for me Kylian?“

Kylian‘s eyebrows shot up now. Face still red from earlier. A little hesitant.

„Do you mean like? Strip? Like a show? Or just take my clothes of?“

Xabi smirked to himself. Kylian was really so eager to do everything right for him. Understand all of his instructions correctly. Very GOOD. Very considerate. Just how Xabi liked it. Kylian’s hands had wandered to the hem of his own shirt now. Waiting again. For further instruction.

„I don’t need a big show Kylian. Just seeing you naked is enough show for me!“

Simple, honest. He meant it. Kylian’s body was a fucking work of art. And Kylian got to work quick, following Xabi’s instructions. Pulling himself out of his clothes. His shirt. Kicking off his shoes. Pulling off his socks. Before he quickly started pulling down his pants as well. And Xabi could see. From his place on the bed. How hard Kylian already was inside his briefs. So easy to rile up, my Kylian. He thought, smiling to himself, Xabi was loving every second of this.

„Already so hard Kylian…“ He said now.

Because he wanted to.

„Is it because I called you a needy, desperate little thing?“

He was smiling at Kylian. Amused, eyes dark and knowing. Kylian’s hand halted a little at the edge of his briefs now. And he looked up. Something like surrender swimming in his eyes. God. Xabi wanted to fucking devour him. Every single part. Destroy him. Put him back together. Love him. Cherish him. Adore him. Forever.

„It‘s because you want me like this.“ Kylian said quietly, truthfully.

„Yeah? And how do I want you, Kylian?“

„Desperate.“ Kylian answered. „And needy.“ He added after a little pause.

A bit embarrassed. Eyes drawn big. Looking at Xabi. His long slender fingers still resting against his briefs, ready to pull them down, while his cock, hard and aching, was still straining against them. Xabi could feel his own cock twitch a little in his dress-pants, just at the sight of him. Kylian. Desperate and needy. Hard.

For him.

And then Kylian pulled down his briefs, hard cock finally springing free. Resting now, proudly. Between Kylian’s soft and strong thighs. Xabi pulled his own legs a little further apart. Patting the space between them on the bed. Like an instruction.

„Come on Kylian, get over here!“

And Kylian did. Crawled towards him on top of the sheets. Between Xabi‘s legs. Naked. Bare for him. And when he had arrived where Xabi had wanted him. Between his legs. He waited again. Good and patient. His Kylian. Like always.

Xabi decided to pull him on top of himself.
Onto his lap. Kylian’s soft skin resting now against the scratchy fabric of Xabi‘s pants. Xabi could feel the shape of his own cock against Kylian’s soft cheeks, heavy against him, through several layers of fabric. While Kylian’s cock lay on top of him. In his lap, Xabi‘s. Big, hard and curved, its head close to Xabi‘s belt buckle. Xabi decided to take his right pointer finger and push Kylian a little towards it. So they would meet, a brush of the cold metal against the head of Kylian’s cock. He could feel a little jolt go through Kylian’s body when it touched him. Xabi looked up, seeing Kylian looking down, down to where Xabi‘s finger was pressing him against his own belt buckle. Eyes drawn impossibly wide. Transfixed. And Xabi let his finger trace along Kylian’s slit now. Just a little. Touch light and ghostly. Still looking up so he could see every little twitch on Kylian’s face.

„You know I like this.“ Xabi said now.

„We could stay like this. You could read me a few pages, from your new book.“

Kylian wiggled a bit on top of him. Tense, heavy against Xabi through his pants. He was growing impatient. Xabi could tell. His own finger still ghosting along Kylian’s slit, turning a little wet now. Wet with Kylian’s precum. Xabi kept going.

„Hmmm? Kylian?“

„What do you think?“

Kylian started shaking his head. Wordless. Cock twitching against Xabi’s finger, against the cold metal. Leaking more and more now.

„No?“ Xabi chuckled.

„What do you want to do then Kylian?“

„I‘m just feeling a little lazy, the last few days have been exhausting.“

Kylian refocused his eyes. Staring at Xabi now, with a frown, a little angry.

„I already told you.“ Kylian said now. Whiny.

Wanting Xabi make good on his earlier promise.

„What? Fuck you? I don’t know Kylian, I‘m old, I don’t know if I have the stamina for that right now.“

Kylian’s face fell. He looked genuinely horrified at the possibility, that actually they weren’t going to fuck tonight. Xabi almost felt bad, Kylian tended to be a little more oblivious like this. When his mind had zeroed in on pleasure. Fell victim a bit easier to Xabi‘s little lies.

Xabi laughed now. Fond.

And Kylian, immediately understanding that Xabi was making fun of him, shoved him a bit. A small shove against his shoulder.

„You’re so mean. You‘re evil really.“ He said now.

„What else do I have to do?“ Kylian asked, a little exhausted, yet still desperate. Whiny.

„Nothing Kylian. You don’t have to do anything.“ Xabi said. Earnest, fond.

Pulling Kylian’s face down now, by his neck, with both of his hands. Finally drawing him into a kiss. Soft. Tender. Openmouthed. Searching and Slow. Just like their first ever kiss had been. Tentative. Relishing in the moment. God. He loved kissing Kylian like this, soft, pink lips against his. Xabi let one of his hands wander down. Ghost along Kylian’s side while they kept kissing. Before he let it rest against Kylian’s ass. Touch turning possessive now, grabbing a handful of it. Kylian’s right ass cheek, before he let it go again, let it bounce back into place. Once. Twice. He couldn’t stop doing it. Kylian whined into the kiss. SO NEEDY. Desperate. Just how Xabi liked him. His cock still hard between them. On top of Xabi‘s clothes, against the scratchy fabric. Leaky, twitchy. Against his belt buckle.

His belt.

Xabi‘s mind suddenly provided an idea, so he pulled Kylian back by his neck. Out of their trance, their kiss. Kylian‘s pupils were blown wide, this close to his face you could actually make them out inside the dark of Kylian‘s eyes. He looked like he was high. Floating. Eyes unfocused.

„Kylian.“ Xabi said now, quietly, carefully.

To pull him back into reality for a bit.

„Hmmmm?“ Was all the answer Kylian got out.

„I want you to take off my belt, can you do that for me?“

Kylian’s face shifted a little, a mix of surprise, confusion, excitement and intrigue taking over his features. He nodded now. Quiet. Before he sat up a little on Xabi‘s lap and let his pretty hands get to work. Opening the belt buckle, silver metal. Pulling the belt out of its confines, it caught itself a little within the belt loops as he did, so he had to apply a little more pressure. Beautiful black leather, the belt, Xabi had it custom made. And now Kylian was holding it inside his hands. Looking at Xabi again, in question. Xabi made a wavy hand gesture.

„Hand it to me Kylian.“

Kylian did.

„And now turn around for me, please.“

Kylian was ready to get up now. But Xabi stopped him.

„No, not entirely Kylian. Just– just turn you back a little towards me, okay? And put your hands behind your back.“

And Kylian did it. Again. No questions asked. Still sitting on top of Xabi, body twisted, his back turned a little to the side. Arms and hands drawn together behind his back.

Waiting. Again. It had to be uncomfortable.

And Xabi leaned up a little and quickly pulled his belt around Kylian’s lower arms. Tying them together. Neatly. He had to loop it around several times. So he could close it properly at the end. He let go now. Leaning back again. Looking at Kylian. In his lap. Still hard. Hands tied behind his back now. More vulnerable. More at Xabi‘s mercy.

„You look so beautiful like this, Kylian.“ He said.

And before Kylian could react, he patted the side of his thigh a little.

„Up. Up!“ He said.

And of course. Kylian followed it. His instruction. Kneeling now. Above Xabi. Hard cock dangling a bit in the air between his open legs. Xabi‘s started opening his own pants. Opening the button, the zipper. Pulling them down now. Measured. Careful. Before he also pulled down his briefs. Kicking his legs now a little. Pants at this knees. Still careful. To get rid of them and his briefs entirely.

„Sit back down.“ He said now.

And Kylian did. Back on top of him. Skin against skin now. No more fabric separating them. And Xabi‘s hard cock nestled itself neatly between Kylian’s cheeks, all by itself, hot and warm against him.

„Can you feel how hard I am for you Kylian?“

Silence followed. Kylian looked at him. But Xabi wasn’t letting up. He actually wanted an answer this time. Staring at Kylian now.

A small „Yes.“ followed after a while.

„Do you want that inside you Kylian? Hmm?“

And for good measure, Xabi rocked up his hips a little. Just once. Just so Kylian could feel him a little better. Before he waited again. On his next answer.

„Yes.“ Again.

Breathy. Small. Desperate. Needy.

Just how Xabi liked it.

„Yes what? Kylian?“

„Yes, Please?“ Kylian replied. Trying.

But Xabi was still waiting. Waiting for more. And Kylian started rambling now. No pride left. Hoping to give Xabi what he needed to hear, so that he‘d finally just do it. FUCK HIM.

„Please Xabi. I– I want you. Inside of me. To– fuck me. I really need it. I NEED you. Please. I– want you. I– I love you. Please just–„

Kylian’s hips were wiggling a bit against Xabi now, just to feel some friction. To get SOMETHING.

„I have been thinking about it. Non-stop Xabi. Please. It‘s been weeks now. I– I‘m still young. You know my libido– I– PLEASE.“

Kylian didn’t know what to say anymore. So his eyes were looking at Xabi now. BEGGING. PLEADING. Desperate.

„You’re so polite Kylian. Such a good boy, huh?“

„Or is that only for me?

He didn’t want an answer this time. He was already spitting inside his palm. Once. Twice. Getting it wet. His hand. Trailing downwards now. To Kylian’s ass.

„Just for you of course.“ Kylian answered anyways.

A bit teasing. A tiny bit confident now. With the knowledge that he would finally get what he wanted. That he had been successful in his mission. In finally acquiring it. Xabi. INSIDE HIM. Soon.

Xabi let his pointer finger poke a little. At Kylian’s rim now. Rubbing against it. Circling. Getting Kylian wet a little. With his spit. And then he let the tip of his finger sink down a bit. Inside. Kylian felt–

„You feel a little loose Kylian?“

Kylian whined. Wiggling a little. Trying to get more friction. More pressure from Xabi‘s finger. Against his rim.

„Did you do something? Without me?“

Kylian halted now. Looking a little worried. That he might have done something wrong. That this. This might make Xabi stop. AGAIN. Denying him. Again.

„Just– just a little. At home. I just– I wanted to be ready for you Xabi. So it wouldn’t take that long.“

Kylian said now. Excusing. Letting his head fall down a little. Embarrassed. Cute.

Xabi let his left hand wander up now. Towards Kylian‘s face. Pushing it up by his chin. So that Kylian would look at him.

„You did great Kylian.“

Xabi let his finger sink into Kylian, slowly.

„So considerate. Always so good. Such a good boy for me, hmmm?“

Xabi was building a slow rhythm now, with his finger. In. Out. In out.

Kylian started nodding now. Shifting a little in Xabi‘s lap. Hands still bound behind his back. Cock STILL hard. The head resting against the hem of Xabi‘s shirt now, instead of his belt. Xabi decided to add a second finger. Moving slow. Deliberate. Inside of Kylian now. It was much easier than the last time they had done this.
Kylian really had prepared himself well for him. Xabi‘s cock twitched a little at the idea.

Kylian. Alone. At home. His pretty, long and slender fingers inside of himself. Working, preparing himself. Thinking about it. Thinking about him. Xabi. Thinking about having Xabi inside of himself. Xabi pulled his fingers out.

„This enough?“

Kylian nodded. Frantically.

„Up!“ Xabi said now. Simple.

Kylian kneeled up a little. Xabi holding him steady, his left hand against Kylian’s shoulder now. So Kylian wouldn’t lose his balance –hands still tied behind his back. And with his right hand Xabi adjusted his own cock. Aiming it. The head catching at Kylian’s rim now. Pressure light.

„Down, Kylian.“

And Kylian sank down. Slowly. Fully. Until all of Xabi was inside of him. They both groaned. Xabi moved his his hips just a little. Adjusting. Kylian jumped immediately. He was pushing up against it. Xabi. Directly, against Kylian‘s prostate. But Xabi held him down. By his hips. So he would feel it.

All of it.

Enjoying the moment now. A beat too long.

Kylian seemed to grow a little restless. Twitchy. Needy. He started shifting a bit, like he wanted to ride him. Ride Xabi. Xabi tightened his grip on Kylian’s hips. Holding him still. In place. And Kylian whined. Desperate.

„I told you Kylian. You don’t have to do anything.“ He said.

Letting go of Kylian’s hips now. To lift himself. Push himself up from the bed. To flip them over. Still inside of Kylian, folding him in half now. Kylian’s hands resting awkwardly behind his back now against the fresh hotel bedsheets. And then Xabi pulled out a little. Just to push back in immediately. HARD. Kylian’s eyes shot open. Body jumping up a bit against the bedsheets. From the pressure. The force of it. And Xabi did it again. And again. Building a rhythm now. Slow. HARD.

Because that’s what Kylian liked.

And Kylian took it. Head having fallen to the side. Eyes closed tightly. Wincing a little every time Xabi pushed in. Hitting that spot. Dead on. Again. And again. Shudders going through Kylian’s entire body. Muscles flexing. Cock hard and leaking, bouncing against his own stomach. With every thrust. Hands still bound. Completely helpless. Pliant. Beautiful. For Xabi. Just for him. Entirely at his mercy.

„You‘re so beautiful Kylian.“

And Xabi decided to fuck even harder into him. FASTER now. Building towards something. This wouldn’t take long. Xabi could feel that he was already close. They both were.

„Do– do you think you can do it– Kylian?“ Xabi asked now.

Between breaths.

Kylian’s eyes shot open. Big. Glassy. Coated over with pleasure and confusion. Unfocused. Looking at Xabi now. In question.

„Come– just like this? Without– without me touching you?“

Kylian looked like he was about to cry. Staring at Xabi now. Helpless. While his face kept moving up and down, the back of his head scratching against the bedsheets, from the force of Xabi’s thrusts. He looked desperate. Needy. Pleading. Pathetic. Adorable.

„Come on– Kylian. Don’t look at me– Like that.“

„You want to be good for me– don’t you?“

„I think you can– Can do it. IMPRESS me, huh?“

And Kylian nodded now. Frantic. Tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Determination taking over his features. Concentrating. Trying. To give it to Xabi. Give him –EXACTLY– what he wanted. Just like he always did. And Xabi could feel it. Kylian‘s walls. Tight and hot around him. Constricting a little now. Trying. Working with the only thing he still had at his disposal. Still had control over. Kylian. Trying to make himself come. For Xabi.

Xabi could feel himself grow close. Thrusts turning erratic now. And luckily. Luckily. It was still enough. Because now. With another hard thrust, directly against his prostate. Kylian came.

Hot white liquid, spilling everywhere.

Kylian’s cock still jumping against his stomach, with each thrust. Xabi still pushing into him. Drop by drop. Spilling out of Kylian now. Falling against Kylian’s skin. Painting himself white. Until every last drop was gone. Until Xabi had taken everything out of him. Kylian’s walls constricting a little with overstimulation around him now, as Xabi kept going. And feeling Kylian struggle around him, painted white beneath him, still bound, still helpless, that’s what made Xabi come as well. Letting out a long breath. Still deep inside of Kylian. Buried. Like he would never let him go. Spilling inside him. Painting him white as well. From the inside.

And then they stayed like that for a moment. Xabi still deep inside him. Both exhausted. Catching their breaths.

Before Xabi let go a little and pulled out. Letting Kylian’s legs fall down. Turning him around now. Onto his stomach. Undoing the belt buckle. Carefully loosening the belt. Undoing the loops, freeing Kylian’s arms. A pretty pattern drawn into his skin now, from where the leather had dug into him. Kylian let his arms fall to the side now. Useless. Spent.

Xabi got up. Walking towards the bathroom, to get a towel. To take care of him. Clean him up. Kylian. And when he got back to the bed, that’s what he did. Slowly. Carefully. Patting the soft terry cloth towel against Kylian’s skin. Turning him over. Continuing until he had brushed away ever last drop. Meticulous. Like a ritual. And when he was finished, he quickly cleaned himself a little, his cock. Rushed, Careless. Before he threw the towel away and pulled Kylian into a half-hug, placing him, laying him down, carefully against the bed now. Beside him. And Kylian. Kylian just let him do as he pleased. Let himself be taken care of.

Resting back against the pillows and headboard now, where Xabi had placed him. Smiling, a little dopey. Xabi laid back down beside him.

And there they were now.

Laying still. On their backs. Close. Next to each other. The afterglow of sex still floating around them. Xabi leaned over to the side of the bed. Loosened the bedsheets a little. To pull them over them. Around them. Close. Intimate. Beneath the heavy bedsheets now. Silent. Both of them. Content.

It was Kylian who broke the silence.

„You know what I think?“ He said now.

Contemplative. Like he had thought really hard on this for the last few minutes.

„What?“ Xabi asked, easily.

„I think you like foreplay almost more than sex itself.“

Xabi chuckled a little at Kylian’s analysis.

„Hmmm. Maybe.“ Xabi started.

He had never really thought about this too deeply. Then after a beat he added.

„I just love torturing you a little Kylian, you make it so easy for me.“

Kylian scoffed a bit. Smiling now. Amused. Kicking Xabi under the covers.

„You‘re really filthy, you know that?“ He said, turning his face towards Xabi, a little teasing.

„You’re a filthy old man.“

Xabi chuckled again. Also amused.

„Well, Kylian, I think every good boy like you needs a filthy old man like me.“

He gave Kylian a little wink.

„You disgust me.“ Kylian said.

Frowning at him now. Shaking his head a little. Like he was actually appalled. He wasn’t. Xabi could tell by the small smile that was threatening to spill over from the corner of his mouth.

„No Kylian. I don’t disgust you.“

Xabi was also turning towards Kylian now.

„Actually.“ He looked at Kylian. Open, honest.

„You kind of love me.“

And he was pulling Kylian close. To face him. Resting his own forehead against his. Looking deep into his eyes. Kylian was smiling now, dimples creasing. Eyes twinkling. With the knowledge that Xabi was right. Kylian did love him. Filthy, evil, mean as he could be. Kylian loved him.

„And you know what’s even more disgusting Kylian?“

„What?“ Kylian asked. Curious, anticipating, giddy.

„That it’s not only you who loves me. It’s that I love you too.“

Xabi drew up his eyebrows like this was really devastating news.

„Ewwwwwww.“ Kylian drew it out.

„LOVE. Ugh.“ Kylian scrunched his face up.

„That’s so old-school. Really outdated. You know Xabi. Old just like you.“

Xabi chuckled again. Drawing Kylian’s face even closer with his hands. Placing a tiny kiss against his forehead now. Smiling.

„Don’t worry Kylian. I‘ll try. Try to make it a little more modern for you. A real modern romance.“

Xabi emphasized the last part.

Kylian giggled now. It was the prettiest sound in the world to Xabi. Light. Careless.

„Yeah? Like that book you gave me? Such a modern trope. Forbidden love has been around for ages now, you know. Really! You have to try harder than that.“

Xabi chuckled. Warm against Kylian. Having drawn him into a hug now. Close to his chest.

„No. No, Kylian. Like you said. You’re not a small-town-girl like Marlene, you’re a big-city-boy. So I‘ll treat you like one. It‘ll be totally different, you know.“

„What does that even mean?“

„Oh you know.“

„Actually, I don’t.“ Kylian laughed.

And they kept going. Giggling. Bantering. Joking. Teasing each other. They could do it for hours. Forever really, if they wanted.

But sadly. Forever wasn’t an option. At least not right now. In about an hour or so. Kylian would have to get back. To not raise suspicions too much. With his staff. He was already overstaying his welcome a little. But it was worth it.

And Xabi.

Tomorrow morning. He would also have to get back. Home. Well –not his home for long anymore. Finalize the divorce with his wife.

The pressure. The responsibilities of life. Waiting. For both of them.

Xabi looked down at Kylian in his arms. Maybe no one would ever understand it. This. Their thing. Aurelien or his wife and whoever else might find out. Why. Why their thing. Him and Kylian. Why it was so important. Why it mattered. Why it HAD to happen. Though it might look reckless and stupid from the outside.

Because like this. He could almost forget. Xabi. Forget all of it. Everything that was weighing him down. It made him feel capable. Powerful. Like he could handle it all. Handle everything. Take on the entire world. Whenever he held Kylian like this. Warm.

Safe in his arms.

Chapter Text

On the ride back from the hotel Kylian still felt floaty. High. Being with Xabi. It was almost surreal. They just fit so well, everything slotted right into place when they were together. Nothing felt forced. Out of place. Everything was just RIGHT. Honestly Kylian never really had any issue being more dominant in bed before, but with Xabi it just felt right. Submission. It felt good. Not having to think that much. Letting go of it. Control. Something Kylian usually held close to his chest. It was easy. Surrendering to Xabi’s little schemes, letting Xabi do whatever Xabi did. What he wanted to do in the moment. And being rewarded at the end, for his patience. It felt nice. SO NICE. To just be taken care of for once. Not having so many expectations placed on him. All Kylian needed to do with Xabi was be a little needy, a bit whiny and reserve a little patience. Be himself. Be GOOD. That was enough for Xabi. And honestly it relaxed Kylian immensely. Not having to think. Going into what he had with Xabi. He just had to be there and something good would come of it. It felt comforting to Kylian. Assuring.

Safe.

The car had arrived at Kylian’s place now.
His house already illuminated, the dark of the summer night slowly creeping into the end of the day. He sighed a little as he got up. Thanking his driver.

“Sorry for the late night my man!”

“It’s no problem!” The driver replied simply.

Before Kylian got out and the car pulled away. Out of Kylian’s driveway.

Kylian made his way up to the door. Skipping up the stairs a bit. Mind still occupied. Thinking about him. Xabi. Still high on sex, on love, on Xabi. Their thing. He had arrived at the entrance now. Typing the passcode for his door onto the small touchpad at the entrance. Letting out a little yawn. Tired. He couldn’t wait to get to sleep. The door lock clicked open. He made his way inside and–

A loud laugh was echoing through the long hallway of his house. It was coming from the direction of the living room. The laugh. Similar to his own. Immediately recognizable. His mom. His mom was here?

Oh.

Oh no.

Kylian stopped in his tracks for a moment. Before he decided to make his way to the living room. Towards her. Slowly. Contemplating. Dreading it a little. Seeing her. She didn’t know. She didn’t know about Xabi. Honestly he would rather just go straight to bed, rather than facing her right now. Her and her knowing eyes. But he knew she’d fucking kill him in the morning if he didn’t say hello at least. So he went, slowly down the hallway.

And then he arrived.

His mom and his assistant sitting at the big dinner table connecting the kitchen and the living room. Talking, chatting. Kylian could feel more dread well up inside himself. They had been talking. Probably about him. He stood a little silent at the edge of the hallway leading into the living room.

His mom laughed again. Kylian hadn’t even registered what his assistant had said that she was laughing so hard at. And when she opened her eyes – his mom. They landed on him. Eyebrows raising, happily surprised at the sight of him. Shouting now a little. Overjoyed.

“Kylian! Mon bébé! What are you doing standing over there, get over here, huh?”

She waved him over. Relaxed, warm, welcoming. And Kylian made his way over there. A little hesitant, eyes flickering over to his assistant now. What had she told her?

He got out a tiny. “Hi, mom.” While embracing her.

Standing up again now.

“What– What are you doing here?” He scratched the back of his head a little.

“What? I can’t go and check up on my son a little?” She laughed. Light as ever.

“I just wanted to see you Kylian.”

She shot Kylian’s assistant a small knowing look.

“We are all a bit worried about you.” She said now.

Eyes sympathetic. A little worried. But not too much.

“What? Why?” Kylian got out quickly. Rushed.

He could feel his eyebrows drawing up now.

This was bad. Really bad. His mom knew him too well. It was like she had laser-beam eyes that could scan the inside of his skull, look directly at his brain, see how all his synapses connected and how they worked.

Fayza looked at him now. A little concerned, yet still warm.

“Well first of all. You were sick. In Miami. You’re skin and bones now Kylian. Look at you!”

She said a little overbearing, exaggerated. Kylian had already gained some of the weight back.

“It’s really not that bad.” Kylian said with a little frown now.

“And.” His mom continued.

“Well we’re all wondering why you’re refusing to go on vacation this summer? It’s highly unusual for you Kylian? No?”

She asked a little amused seeing Kylian still frowning.

“Just–“

Kylian started, going over to the Kitchen counter now to pour himself a glass of water. He was really not in the mood to be interrogated right now. Not with the night he’d just had. With Xabi.

“The season was long, I’m exhausted.” He added, tone clipped.

Taking gulps from his water now. Walking back. Trying to stay non-chalant. Hiding behind his glass of water. Taking another sip.

“The season is always long, Kylian.” Fayza said now. Observing him.

“Where were you tonight?” She added shortly after.

Kylian almost choked on his water. He gulped it down.

“Just. You know– Out.” He said.

Too short. Not enough information. Kylian was innerly slapping himself. This is EXACTLY the kind of answer you shouldn’t give Fayza when she was worried.

She was raising her eyebrows now. Suspicious. Fuck. Kylian wanted to shrink away. He should have just went to bed. IMMEDIATELY. He hadn’t even showered after. At the hotel. There was still some remnants of Xabi left. INSIDE OF HIM. God. He probably still smelled of sex. His stomach was growing a little restless now.

Nervous.

“Out? Out where?” Fayza asked now. In that tone. That tone of hers Kylian couldn’t help but comply to.

“I was told you didn’t even want security today.” She added.

Another piece of damning information. Another building block stacked against him.

“I go to that restaurant like every two weeks. They know me.” Kylian rushed out.

“I just wanted to be alone for once. Is that so bad?” His eyes drew big, aiming for pity.

Fayza wasn’t buying it.

“So you went to a restaurant. A hotel restaurant. Alone? To eat? For over four hours?”

She looked at him now. Eyebrows drawn up. Laying all the pieces of Kylian’s poor alibi out in front of him, showing him how ridiculous it looked from the outside.

Kylian didn’t know what to say. But then–

“I’m going to bed.” His assistant.

Suddenly cutting into the conversation from the side. Kylian had almost forgotten she was still in the room. Given how silent she had become. She was looking a little uncomfortable. Like she was intruding on a conversation she shouldn’t be part of.

“Excuse me.” She added. As she got up.

“Good night.” Fayza said. Shooting her a friendly smile.

Kylian didn’t say anything. He just stared her down as she left. He should have a serious conversation with her soon. About who her actual employer was. Who she was supposed to be loyal to.

“Kylian sit down.” Fayza said now.

Patting the place next to her at the table.

And Kylian did. Because really? What else could he do? So there he was. Sitting down now. Staring straight ahead. I should have just went to bed. He thought again.

Fayza resting her hand against his shoulder now. Soft. Warm. Still looking at him. Sympathetic.

“If you’re seeing someone you can tell me Kylian.”

“You know that right.”

“I’m not seeing anyone.” Kylian lied. Rushed.

Still staring straight ahead. He could see Fayza looking a little baffled at that. From the corner of his eye. Because she could tell. She knew. That she was right. That Kylian was seeing someone. She knew. And usually Kylian and her had the type of relationship where he would tell her, whenever something –any fling– was getting a bit more serious. They were open like that with each other.

Usually.

Fayza was not used to Kylian building a wall. She looked a little bit at a loss. Kylian still rigid, frozen. Next to her. She was contemplating a for a bit. Before she added.

Very carefully.

“Is it? Is it a guy Kylian?”

“Because you know. You know I’m fine with that right? I just want you to be careful is all?”

This was the first time she had mentioned it. Out loud. Kylian’s bisexuality. Their unspoken family secret, the one which only Fayza and him somehow shared, though never having spoken about it. Once.
Of course. Of course she was sensing it. That he was seeing someone. Seeing a guy. Kylian-Mindreader that she was.

Kylian let his head fall down. He HATED this. He did. He just couldn’t. He couldn’t tell her. It was breaking his heart a little bit. But he knew. He knew she wouldn’t approve. Not because Xabi was a guy of course. Not even because he was an OLDER guy. Though she might raise an eyebrow at that. No. She wouldn’t approve because it was Xabi. Of all people. His coach. Messy. Xabi who on paper was also still married to a woman. A woman he had three kids with. Yeah, no. She’d never approve of this. NEVER.

Kylian shook his head. Formulating another answer. Sounding annoyed now. Though he was mostly annoyed at himself. At his situation. Why everything had to be so complicated. His answer, it came out accusatory. Snappy.

“Oh my god. NO! I’m not seeing ANYONE right now. Mom PLEASE!”

He looked at her now. Pleading. To let this go. Not dig any further.

“Can’t you just let me go out? ONCE? For four fucking hours. Unsupervised? Without making it a big deal?”

“I’m a grown man you know? I don’t have to report to you every single little thing that I do!”

It was half of the truth.

His supervised lifestyle. Though he had grown accustomed. It was a real grievance of his. He’d been stripped of any real sense of privacy for years now. It could be a little suffocating.

But really.

He knew that his reaction was unfair. He wasn’t really mad about the fact that Fayza wanted to know about his love life. He wasn’t mad at her. Not really. He was mad that the man he loved. The man he had fallen for. Completely. Over just a few weeks. Was someone, who he couldn’t share with people. Not even the people closest to him. Not even his OWN mom.

Honestly Kylian had kind of tuned out the reality of what being with Xabi would mean. Long-term. But right now. At his dinner table, unable to tell his mom about him. Their thing. About all the things he loved about Xabi. He realized. What it would mean. Cost him. To be with Xabi. Still feeling her presence next to him. His mom. Close, but distant now. A small wall growing between them. The longer they sat. In silence. Kylian’s accusations still hanging in the air.

Fayza let out a deep sigh now, drawing her hand back a little. She looked sad. Kylian felt bad. He wanted to tell her. HE WANTED TO. But he knew, he couldn’t. She’d try. She would try to stop it. Him and Xabi. Their thing. She would try to end it. It could NOT. It could not end. Their thing. It could not.

“I understand Kylian. I do. I–“

She stopped a bit. Voice heavy with emotion. Kylian hated this.

“I just worry, okay? I don’t want to be– to be too overbearing. Of course– of course I trust you to– to make your own decisions.”

She paused again.

“Just please don’t do anything stupid okay? Don’t get yourself hurt? Hmm? Mon bébé?”

She rested her hand back on Kylian’s shoulder. Kylian winced a little at the touch. He felt wrong. Wrong in his skin. Lying to his mom. It didn’t feel good at all.

“I– yeah.” Is all he could say.

He looked at her a little from the side. Meeting her eyes. Seeing real concern –worry– in his mother’s face. Eyebrows drawn together now. Worry creased deep into her forehead. He couldn’t bear it. Looking at her like this.

Because he knew.

He knew she was right. Like she always was. He knew him and Xabi –their thing– was dangerous. Incredibly so. For both of them. She was RIGHT. To be concerned. Worried. And yet.

Kylian couldn’t.

Couldn’t tell her. Couldn’t risk it. Him and Xabi. Their thing.

He decided to give his mom a small hug. Quiet. Like an excuse instead of an answer. Trying to ease her mind. Erase her worry. It was useless. Kylian knew.

“Let’s just go to bed, yeah?” He asked now.

“I’m just. I’m really tired.”

“Let’s do something fun tomorrow, yeah mom?”

“The city? Or the museum?”

He was brainstorming. Trying to think of something. Anything. To make her think everything was like it always was. Like he wasn’t lying to her. Like he hadn’t just met him. Xabi. Secretive. Inside a hotel room. Xabi who was practically STILL married. His goddamn coach.

Honestly.

They were both crazy. MENTAL. Him and Xabi.

And yet.

It’s what he wanted. It’s what he chose. He was in too deep already. He couldn’t backtrack now. Nor did he want to.

His heart. His STUPID heart had chosen him. Xabi. No one else.

Chapter Text

Xabi was waking up now. Slowly, groggily. Still at the hotel. Bed empty beside him. No Kylian. But for the first time since he had returned to Madrid he had actually gotten a good night’s sleep. Some proper rest. He could feel it inside his body. Proper relaxation.

After Kylian had left the hotel last night, Xabi had taken a long shower. And. Thinking about him. Kylian. The memory of Kylian beneath him still fresh on his mind, he had jerked off during said shower. Couldn’t help it. Honestly Xabi was going a little crazy. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had ever been this horny. Imagination running wild. Especially since last night. He felt like a fucking teenager again. Maybe that’s what happens when you’re with someone so much younger.

But more than that Xabi knew that it was because of Kylian. Specifically Kylian.

Because Kylian was so? So– Accepting? In bed. Of whatever Xabi wanted to try. It let his mind wander too much. Too much possibility plaguing him. Honestly at some point Xabi would have to sit Kylian down. Ask him where his limits lay. Because Xabi didn’t want to hurt him or make him uncomfortable. Because he was getting a little scared.

Scared of himself.

The places his mind went to. Thinking about him. Thinking about Kylian. Last night. In the shower. His mind kept wandering back. To his belt. Tied around Kylian’s slender forearms, hands behind his back. Kylian had just accepted it. So easily. Submitted so readily. Accepted to be tied up a little. And Xabi. He couldn’t help but want to do MORE now. Tie him up more. He didn’t even know what he wanted to do specifically. He was just realizing, how much he truly liked it. Having that much control over someone in bed. KYLIAN SPECIFICALLY. He wanted to try things. Take more. Take more of Kylian’s power away. Rob him. Maybe of his senses? Maybe blindfold him? Gag him?

Xabi shook himself a little.

His mind was going places it had never went before. Not with any of his previous romantic partners. His wife. Never in a million years would he ever have thought of tying her up. No. But that was also because he knew. He knew she wouldn’t have wanted that. That’s not what she liked. So –probably subconsciously– Xabi had never allowed himself to think like that. Like he was thinking now. About Kylian.

Because this part of him. The part that wanted to control, that wanted others to submit to him. To his whims. It was not something everyone would like. A trait that could be received really badly. If it was directed at the wrong person. A little unsettling, a little scary. His work as a coach had mostly been Xabi’s outlet for this part of himself. Controlling. Assertive. Commanding. He had never really questioned it. His different behavior at work compared to his private life.

But now. With Kylian.

He was realizing that he had always wanted to. To be like that in more ways than one. Not just at work. He wanted someone to submit to him. Fully.

KYLIAN SPECIFICALLY.

The great Kylian Mbappé. The Golden Boy. Face of football. His to do with as he pleased. Xabi felt drunk on power just at the idea of it.
And Kylian was feeding into this desire all too well. It was like a sickness was taking hold of Xabi and he couldn’t really stop it. His mind kept wandering. Thinking. Imagining. Scenarios. Of what he could do with Kylian. Do to Kylian.

Xabi shook himself again, trying to shake it out of himself. That feeling. That sickness. He was still buried beneath the hotel bed covers. The same covers he and Kylian had been under last night. Close. Intimate. Kylian calling him filthy.

Like it was a compliment. Not an insult.

He needed to get his mind out of the fucking gutter. Honestly he was starting to feel a little disgusted at himself. Xabi raised himself up a bit. Resting against the headboard now. Head falling to the side, eyes landing on his nightstand now. And there it was. His gift. To Kylian. The book, bright and pink, still neatly placed on the nightstand, just how Xabi had left it there last night. There it lay. Disregarded. Kylian had forgotten his gift. Xabi’s gift to him.

I could punish him for that.

Xabi’s mind supplied immediately. Still sick. Sick with too much possibility and intrigue. The thought intrusive. Clinging to him like slime. Disgusting, sickly, sticky.

Xabi got up quickly now from the bed. Trying to pull himself out of it. To STOP THINKING. Like THAT. About Kylian.

He walked over to his suitcase. Having picked up the book from his nightstand. Putting it back exactly into the pocket he had brought it in.

It was almost 10am already. He really had slept in for once. The Kylian effect. Kylian must have transmitted his prolific sleeping abilities to me via sex. He thought to himself. Smiling now. A bit amused at his own joke. He shook his head a bit.

He had to get back now.

Back home. To her. He was dreading it. Of course he was. Though things were a little better now.

He had apologized. Properly. Tried to explain it to her. The alienation. The distance. The loneliness. And he had admitted it. That she had been right. That Kylian was part of it. Part of the reason Xabi wanted to leave her. Or at least the cause to leave her this quickly. The reason his thought process had been sped up. Made him come to a decision so suddenly.

She had not really accepted his apology.

As was her right of course. But Xabi could tell. He could tell that she was starting to accept the situation at least. That reality was sinking in for her. That this was absolutely happening. Divorce. And his thing with Kylian. Those were both happening and she couldn’t do anything to stop it.

Xabi let out a sigh.

Filled with a bit of regret at how things had happened, how the breakup had went in the end. Ugly, cheating, hurtful. But that’s what it was now. He couldn’t turn back the clock. And more than regret he felt relief. Relieved the relationship was finally ending. Relieved that they could both move on now. They would handle it well from now on. Like adults. They had already spoken a bit about it. The kids. Schedules. How they would handle it. How they would break it to them.

Xabi collected the few things he had left around the room now. Putting them back into his small suitcase. He hadn’t even really unpacked in the first place. His and Kylian’s activities last night didn’t require much clothing anyways.

He let out another breath.

Time to go. He thought. Looking around the room now. Eyes lingering on the bed. Memorizing it a little bit. Cataloging it in his mind. Another piece of them. Him and Kylian. And then after another short moment of hesitation, he grabbed his suitcase. Walking towards the door now. Walking out. The door clicking locked behind him.

Room 408. Empty again. But it’s memory. Still VERY vivid in Xabi’s mind. Plaguing him a bit. Torturing him. With possibility. The possibility of MORE.

Chapter Text

The night after their hotel meet-up and the reunion with his mom Kylian woke up early. Too early. It was 5:30am. During the holidays. Yet he couldn’t. Couldn’t go back to sleep for some reason. Mind restless. And it was bright outside already. Summer nights. Too short. Kylian felt a little anxious. Mind whirring. Last night. The hotel. Xabi. His mom. Lying to her. He was still uncomfortable. Stressed out. And he would spend the whole day with her today. Since she’d have to get back by tonight. Some event from his foundation she needed to attend tomorrow.

Kylian groaned.

The idea of spending the day with Fayza seemed exhausting right now. Exhausting because he really, REALLY loved his mom. And he hated lying to her. And he knew that she knew he was lying to her. He’d have to dodge questions and uncomfortable looks all day. His lies from last night still floating around them. Obvious to both of them. Tainting it. The honesty they had always held between them. It was a shift in their mother-son relationship. A change. A change Kylian couldn’t really help but let happen. Though he didn’t even want to. It stressed him out.

He needed some relief. Yeah.

Just to relax a little. Get his mind off things.

Kylian’s hand involuntary found its way inside his briefs now. The only piece of clothing he had slept in. Hot and sweaty. Tonight. Restless. Tossing and turning. Turning over his pillow several times. Summer nights.

Relax. Kylian thought. Just relax. And let his mind wander. Drift.

He just needed to relax. A distraction right now.

His mind drifted back to him of course. Xabi. To last night. The hotel. Room 408. How Xabi had treated him. Tying him up. Holding him down. Holding him still. Making him wait. Making him beg. Fucking into him. Precise. Slow. HARD. Just right. Making him come.

Untouched.

Kylian could feel his cock jump in excitement a little. Already growing hard. Letting his hand trace along his own length. Finger resting now. At the head. At his slit. Touch ghostly. Remembering more now. Remembering how Xabi had touched him there. Slow and teasing. Touch featherlight. Pressed up against the cold metal of his belt. Purposefully. How it had felt. A little jarring, the cold touch. Yet good. SO GOOD. But more than that.

How Xabi had watched him.

The feeling of it. Xabi watching him closely as he tortured Kylian a little. Amused, at seeing him struggle. Satisfied, seeing him desperate. While he made him wait. While he barely touched him. While he acted like he wasn’t even going to fuck him after all.

Kylian let out a whine now.

God. Xabi was so mean. SO HOT. Kylian’s hand started moving up and down now. Grip growing tighter and tighter. Thumb tracing along his head now. HE WANTED MORE OF IT. More of Xabi. He wanted it all the time. He wanted him inside of him. AGAIN. Right now. FUCK HIM EVEN HARDER. Treat him even worse. MEANER. JUST MORE. More of everything. Maybe Xabi could tie him up again. Properly. His legs as well. Fuck into him. Do with him as he pleased. Kylian whines were growing a little louder now. His hand moving frantically. Rhythm unfocused. As he kept imagining it.

Kept imagining MORE.

Rougher. Meaner. Evil. Unforgiving. Xabi. Being strict with him. Making him do stuff. Making him hold off. Stringing him along. Setting rules for him. Rules he had to follow. And if he didn’t comply. He’d get punished. Maybe he’d spank him. Xabi’s big strong hands. Against his ass. His naked skin. Until it burned. Just relentless. Skin red and tingling. Kylian’s mind kept supplying more. MORE ideas spilling out. Maybe he’d forbid him. Forbid him from coming. As a punishment. A punishment for what? Didn’t even matter.

Maybe he’d edge him.

Yeah. Kylian thought now. Xabi would definitely enjoy edging me. As obsessed as he already is with making me wait. Kylian’s hand halted. Cock hard and aching now. Leaking precome. Still in hard inside his palm. His hand resting now.

Imagining it.

That it was Xabi’s hand instead. Xabi. Just holding his cock. Still. After having edged him already. For hours maybe. Maybe he’d be tied up again. Unable to move. Xabi’s hand ghosting along him. Touching him. Featherlight. Playing with him. Mocking him. Doing as he pleased. And all Kylian could do was take it. Hope for more. Beg for it maybe. Kylian shifted a little now. Beneath his bedsheets. His hand still. Waiting. Hips moving a little. Imagining it. Xabi. Hand around his hard cock. Just waiting. Watching him struggle. Making him beg again.

“Please.” Kylian let it out quietly. Whiny.

Beneath the covers. Alone in his room. Like Xabi was there. Like he was actually with him. And then Kylian let his hand move again. Slow. Torturous. Imagining it was him instead. Xabi. God he wanted him again. He needed to see him again. Get fucked by him again. As soon as possible. HE NEEDED TO. Kylian’s strokes were growing faster now. Unable to keep holding himself back. Xabi would make me wait longer. He thought. Xabi would torture me more. Kylian’s hips started to stutter a little now. Close. Xabi would take his hand away right now and stop me from coming completely. And with that.

Kylian came.

Disgusting. Sticky inside his briefs now. Wet fabric. Clinging to his skin. Still fresh. Still warm.

He felt a little sick. Xabi was definitely going to be the death of him.

He let out a deep breath. Cleaning his hand now a bit. Against the sheets. Disgusting.

Another deep breath. Still beneath the covers. Sticky with sweat. With guilt. Lies. Now sticky with his own cum.

Kylian’s mind was circling again, slowly settling back into place. It was shortly before 6am now.

He still felt sick. Sick with want. Sick with guilt. Because of the way he wanted Xabi. Different from how he usually wanted people. More twisted. More evil. He didn’t really understand why. Why it was like that with Xabi. Why he would want him LIKE THIS. He had never wanted someone like this. To treat him like that. To be so unforgiving with him. But it just felt so GOOD. With Xabi. He was so good at it. It just came so naturally to him. Being a little mean. Controlling. In bed. Kylian liked it. A lot.

TOO MUCH.

His mind resettled again now. Still guilty. Because of his mom now. Because he had to lie to her. Again. Today. Because he just jerked off to the man he couldn’t tell her about. Sick. Disgusting. Secretive. And he was going to be around her. All day.

But that’s what it was for now. Him and Xabi. A filthy secret. Kylian pondered for a bit. Maybe that was also part of it. The reason. Why Kylian’s mind was going to new places. BECAUSE it was a secret. Because people wouldn’t approve of them. Because people would think it is wrong. And toxic. For them –SPECIFICALLY– to be together.

Whatever.

Kylian thought now. He would handle it. Lying to his mom. It was only a day. It was a sacrifice he was willing to make. To keep it safe. Xabi and him. Their thing.

Their secret.

Kylian rested back against the headboard.

This would be a long day. Very LONG. But he’d make it. He had to.

Chapter Text

Xabi was unlocking the door to his? Their? Her? House.

Returning from his hotel escapade with Kylian. It seemed ghostly. The house. Empty of life. The kids were still with their grandparents. His wife had sold it to them as a two-week-long holiday. And to her parents as her and Xabi needing some time for themselves. Though that time was probably spent really differently from what her parents were thinking. Less carelessness and fun without children for once. More fighting, exhaustion, arguments, sadness, anger and regret. A horrible way to spent your holidays, but that’s what it was. And at least the kids seemed really happy with the arrangement. Their grandparents always tended to spoil them a lot.

“I’m home.” Xabi shouted into the empty hallway.

No answer. As expected. Though he could hear the sound of water running from the kitchen.

He decided to make his way over there. To at least show her the respect of not ignoring her. He owed her that much. After everything he had put her through. He had arrived now. At the entrance to the kitchen.

She was standing at the sink. Cleaning. Plates. A lot of clean plates already stacked beside her. She was cleaning them by hand. Why? Probably a soothing mechanism. They owned a dishwasher of course. She didn’t need to do this.

“Hi.” He said it quietly.

To not to disturb her too much, with whatever her mission was. Cleaning all those plates.

“How was your business trip?” She answered. Empty. Ignoring his greeting.

They had both known it was a lie when Xabi had told her he needed to go to the club. Manage something important. That he thought it could take long, that it was complicated. That he had to stay overnight, probably, at Valdebas.

They had both known.

But Xabi really had not wanted to tell her to her face. Where he was going. That it was Kylian he was meeting. Secretly. In some hotel room. To see him. And to finally. Relieve some tension. After all those weeks of sleeping in the same bed. Yet never doing anything more.

Xabi was clearing his voice now.

“Good.” He said shortly. Before he added quickly.

“What are you doing with all these plates?” Chuckling a little now.

Trying to lighten the mood. Brush the topic of his night out away. It was not something he wanted to dwell on right now. For both of theirs’ sake.

She halted a little. Putting another clean plate onto the stack of already clean plates. Before she turned off the faucet. Stopped the water from running. Cleaning her hands against a kitchen towel before she slowly turned around. Leaning against the kitchen counter now.

She looked sad. Yet determined.

“We got all these plates as a wedding gift. Never used them though. They were always in the basement in some carton. Everywhere we went.” She said.

It sounded nostalgic, yet closed off. Like she was reminiscing something she had already catalogued as something that was behind her now.

“Oh? Really?”

Xabi was stepping a little closer now. To get a better look at the plates. He had never seen them. Gifts and their moving arrangements. Those had always been things his wife had managed.

“I have never seen these.” He said now. Observing.

Contemplating.

What that implied. A gift that was meant for them. Together. That marked their wedding. The day that was supposed to mark their forever. That he had never even seen. That had been with them all this time. Yet he never even knew it existed. It was a small thing. But it illustrated it all too well. What their relationship had been. How removed he had always been. From everything. Everything that was supposed to matter. To both of them.

And it had been both of their fault.

Xabi too comfortable with not involving himself. Her too comfortable with him not being involved.

She chuckled a little sadly now.

“Of course you have never seen them.”

She smiled now. A little sad. A little sympathetic.

“These are the type of things you never want to be bothered with. Plates. Simple decisions. Questions like: ‘Are we going to use these plates despite already owning plates or are we going to throw them out?’”

“These were just never things that interested you Xabi. I always made these decisions by myself.”

Xabi nodded now. Feeling a little guilty.

“But I couldn’t throw these out.”

She pointed at the clean stack of plates now.

“Since these were a wedding gift. So I just had them rot away inside every basement of ours. They’ve been with us all these years.”

She chuckled again.

“It’s kind of stupid really.” She said.

Looking up at him now. Eyes a little glassy with the memory. The hidden plate logistics. Unshed tears threatening to spill out.

“No.” Xabi said now. Rushed.

And he reached out. Just a little. Carefully. Hand resting against her shoulder now lightly. Soothing. She didn’t push him away at least.

“No, it’s not stupid.”

He looked at her earnestly now.

“I should have never– I should have never made you feel like you couldn’t come to me with these things. Plates. Tiles and all that. Like all of it was stupid.”

“I wasn’t a really good husband to you. I can admit that now.”

She nodded. Small. Quiet.

“It wasn’t all on you though Xabi.” She said now.

“I didn’t want the help either. I kind of always resented you for it. You know. All the time you were spending away. Not with us. So I got petty. Over time. Purposely cut you out. Even with the kids.”

She looked at him now. Straight in the eyes. Honest. Finally admitting something they both already knew. But never had dared to speak about.

“That wasn’t fair. Never was. I told myself it was on accident. Missing your games. Cutting calls short. It wasn’t– I think at least. I think it was subconscious, the resentment. But I still did it on purpose.”

It was Xabi’s time to become glassy-eyed now. With relief. With knowledge. That he hadn’t been crazy. That his resentment wasn’t entirely unfounded and selfish. That there had always been some truth to it.

Xabi drew his hand back now. From her shoulder.

“Thank you.”

He said it warmly. Smile tinged with sadness.

“You didn’t have to admit that. But you did. It means more than you think.” He added.

His wife sighed a little. Letting it sink into her now. The acknowledgment. Before she reset. Trying to shift the mood. Her determination from earlier returning.

“Anyways Xabi.”

She let out a breath and pointed at the plates again.

“I want you to take these.”

Xabi raised his eyebrows now. Take these? For what?

“Because I want you to move out. I already have enough plates. I don’t want the ghost of our wedding gift in my basement anymore.”

She continued.

“I dusted off the cartons. And I cleaned them. They should do, for you I mean. They’re as good as new.”

“You want me to move out?” Xabi asked dumbly.

A little overwhelmed with the sudden request. His mind was still on the divorce. Lawyers, papers. Moving out. That step was situated a little further down the line within his thought process. He hadn’t thought about it yet, at least not concretely.

“Yes Xabi. Yes I want you to move out.”

She looked at him. Clear-eyed. It wasn’t a request. It was a demand. She needed this. She needed him to move out quickly.

“I know I can’t change your mind. And maybe you’re right and it’s for the best. The divorce. Though I don’t agree on whatever it is that you’re doing with that–“

She was struggling a bit now. Not knowing what to call Kylian.

“Doing with that man.”

Not ‘boy’ this time. She was trying. Trying to be respectful. Trying not to insult him.

Xabi nodded now. Understanding. Agreeing.

She was right. They needed this. Two places. A clean cut. They could handle the specifics of the divorce without having to stay under the same roof.

“I just don’t want to have to think about it.”

She continued now.

“I don’t want you going on ‘business trips’ overnight and having to wonder whether you’re really with him. I really don’t.”

“Just make sure, okay? That you’re not being stupid. At least for the kids. Don’t be more reckless than need be, okay?”

Xabi nodded. Staring right at her.

“I promise.” He said simply. Before he added.

“At least he has a lot to lose in this too. We both don’t gain anything from this coming out you know. We will be careful.”

She nodded. Xabi had meant to soothe her mind, though she looked a little bit disgusted now. The thought of Xabi and Kylian. Together. On her mind. She clearly wasn’t a fan. And who could blame her.

“And I don’t want the kids to know.”

She said now. Another demand. Not a request.

Xabi winced a little at that. Of course he had not planned on telling them. About him and Kylian. At least not right now. But maybe. At some point. When they were older. He wanted to.

Xabi was in this for the long game.

Kylian wasn’t someone that came and went for him. He wanted him. Not just now. But forever.
And at some point he’d like to introduce him. As his partner. At least to his close ones. At least to his kids.

But he knew it wasn’t the time for that right now. To explain all of this to her. He probably would have trouble making her believe it anyways. That he was serious about Kylian. That it wasn’t just a short misstep. Some fling. Some affair. So he answered simply.

“Okay.” Complying with her demand.

“I won’t tell them.” He said.

A short silence followed. Before she started again. Lighter now. Relieved. That her demands had been met.

“Tell me if you need any help.” She said now.

“Searching for apartments I mean. I know you’re not really good with these types of things.”

Xabi chuckled now. God he could really be pathetic at times, useless, that she was still offering. Offering to help him with this.

“God no! You don’t have to help me with this. God forbid.”

He smiled at her now. Warm. A sense of relief flowing through him. That they were coming along. That they were handling this. That she didn’t hate him. At least not completely.

“Good. Cause I was only offering it to be nice.” She joked now.

Laughing slightly. Xabi joined in.

“You can clean them. The rest of them.” She said now.

Pointing at the rest of the plates inside the sink.

“My hands are getting all soggy.”

She wiped them again. Demonstrating it. Against her jeans.

Xabi nodded quietly. Getting ready to take her place at the sink.

“I’ll honor them. The plates– I mean. Use them. I won’t throw them out.”

He meant it. And she nodded once more. Appreciative. Understanding.

She understood the message. Their marriage. It wouldn’t be erased. It was still part of them. Of both of their stories. Even if it was behind them now. It wasn’t useless. It didn’t NOT matter. It wasn’t something to be completely discarded. Something to get rid of. They would carry it with them. Always. Even in their new lives. Their new apartments.

And that was a nice thought. It was comforting.

For the both of them.

Chapter Text

They were spending a perfect day.

Kylian and his mom. Well at least on the surface. Kylian still felt guilty about lying to her. So he’d been the perfect son all day. Buying her gifts. Advising her patiently while shopping. Letting her choose the restaurant they would have lunch at. TRYING EVERYTHING. To make her forget and not think about where he spent last night. Or why he wasn’t on vacation. Or why recently. He had been acting, like he tended to act. Whenever he liked someone. A little anxious. Anxious to see that someone again. Anxiously checking his phone. All the time. Trying to check for new messages.

When Kylian liked someone, he thought about them 24/7. He wanted to be with them constantly. In their presence. Having their attention on him.

But today.

Out in the city with his mom. He had tried to not be that. Be how he usually was. To steer off suspicions. To make her think she was wrong, that actually he really had just wanted some time alone last night and wasn’t seeing anyone after all. And Kylian kind of felt like it was working. Going well. His little plan.

Even though his phone burned inside his left pocket. Wanting to be checked. Their app. Their chat. Right there. Inside his pocket. Waiting.

Xabi’s phone wasn’t locked anymore.

Apparently his wife had come to realize that she actually overstepped a little there. Locking his phone. So their line of communication had been opened again, there wasn’t any issue there. Kylian could double-, triple- or quadruple-text Xabi again like usual. Except he had not managed to text Xabi once today.

This morning he woke up too early. Too early to text, he didn’t want to accidentally wake Xabi. Especially after the week he had had to endure. Xabi had looked a little worn out last night, at the hotel. And Kylian knew. From their previous texts, their chats. How little sleep Xabi had gotten ever since they returned from Miami. Always going to bed late. Getting up really early. So Kylian had not texted him once he woke up.

Let him sleep. He had thought.

Well and then. Mind whirring and stressed. Body still hot and sweaty from his restless night. He had jerked off. To Xabi. Well. The idea of Xabi. Their last encounter. Room 408. Fresh on his mind.

And then he had not texted him again.

Because he felt a little guilty. About everything. The things he had projected onto Xabi within his fantasy. Mean. Evil. The things he hadn’t said to his mom. Guilty. Secretive.

So instead, he had showered after.

Trying to wash it off a little. The guilt. Clinging to him since he got home last night. The presence of Fayza in Kylian’s house somehow made it all seem so wrong. Him and Xabi. Their thing. Wrong. Something to be hidden. Kept under wraps.

Kylian didn’t like the feeling.

And after the shower he had pondered a bit. What to say. What to text. To Xabi. Feeling a little self-conscious. After last night.

And then he had decided to let Xabi text first.

Because that’s how it usually went. Kylian sending the goodnight message and Xabi the good morning message.

Yes.

Kylian decided to stick to it. Finding safety in it. Their little routines. Something solid within something so shaky. Their relationship. Still fragile. Still not set in stone. Only having few witnesses. Two of them to be exact. And one of those witnesses –Xabi’s wife– well she wasn’t exactly fond of the relationship either. Kylian needed safety. Everything was still so delicate, so it somehow had made sense to Kylian.

Not texting this morning. Sticking to their routine. Xabi morning text. Kylian night text.

Kylian and Fayza had had breakfast around 9am. Nothing much. Just coffee, a few eggs and some french toast. Xabi had still not texted him by that time. Kylian tried to shake off the uneasiness. He probably managed to actually sleep in for once. Is what he thought. And that thought had calmed him. Soothed his mind. Made him smile a little. Happy. That his Xabi –his partn– his person? Was finally getting some rest. And shortly after breakfast. They had hit the city. Kylian and his mom. Plus two security guards and a driver. Tagging along. Shopping. Exploring.

And Kylian had forgot a little. About checking his phone. About texting Xabi.

Because being the perfect son, it was a demanding task. And he had planned on excelling at it today. Which is why he had made the big mistake of taking his mom to a place that sold Portuguese and Moroccan delicacies. Because he knew she’d love it. But she was loving it a little too much. Hijacking the poor salesperson for over an hour now. To let him show her around. Let her try all the little pastries and whatever else the store offered. And Kylian had tagged along. Played along. Also trying it. All of it. Sweet and delicious. No wonder his mom didn’t want to leave. Though honestly this was a major disruption of his usual diet. As an athlete his body had been fine tuned to perfection. And usually what he ate was part of that. Oh well. One day of stuffing himself with little pastries shouldn’t be that bad.

And now Kylian was standing. Close to the exit. Waiting. Holding Fayza’s bags from the previous store. She had bought a weird porcelain elephant sculpture for some reason and a small patterned cloth, to place it on. Kylian shook his had a little. Fond. His mom had really weird taste sometimes.

Fayza was at the cash register, with the same employee she had been hogging for over an hour. Placing a big order. She had decided the store should make a big shipment to Paris. In two weeks. Something about a buffet and a charity event. Honestly the poor guy at the register was looking really stressed. Noting it all down. Fayza’s requests. Probably worried about how the logistics would work. Shipping all those freshly made delicacies to Paris so quickly. But it would be good business nonetheless. Probably not everyday that this store saw an order that big.

“I can help with transportation.” Kylian could hear his mom say now.

He let his eyes wander around the room for a bit. The pretty interior decor. Old dark wood panels coating the walls. Ornate, flowery, golden lines against glass display cases hosting the products. Warm and comforting. Sweet scent in the air. Buttery, creamy, inviting.

His gaze landed on an old wooden grandfather clock. It was already close to noon. Fuck. ALREADY? Kylian hadn’t managed to check his phone since he had gotten out of the car about two hours ago. His phone burned inside his pocket again. Waiting to be checked. His mom was still at the register. Laughing. Talking.

Maybe. Maybe I could. Just shortly.

Fayza turned around now. Sparkling eyes landing on him, overjoyed. She started walking in Kylian’s direction. Sending the salesman another look.

“Bye then! I can’t wait to introduce paris to all this deliciousness! You have my number. If there is any issues with transportation!” She said.

“Yes! I’ll contact you once the truck leaves. Keep you in the loop. Goodbye Mrs. Lamari. Thank you so much! We’ll try our best.”

And now. Fayza had arrived where Kylian had been waiting. Close to the exit.

“Come on Kylian, let’s get lunch now, huh?”

She shot him a wink. Happy. Buzzing with energy.

So now. They would be going to lunch. And Kylian still hadn’t managed to check his phone. Again.

At lunch. He thought.

When she goes to the toilet or something.

He would finally text Xabi. Like he had been wanting to do all day.

Chapter Text

After Xabi had cleaned the last of the plates. His old –new– plates. For his new place. The place he had yet to find. He had placed them back inside their carton. And he had made his way up. To the guest room that had become his for the past two weeks. Still a bit exhausted. Despite sleeping in a little for once. He was laying down now, resting a bit on top of the bed. Checking his phone. Finally. It was 11:43am. And still their chat lay empty. His and Kylian’s chat. At least for today.

Weird.

Normally Kylian had a serious habit of texting too much. Something that would have really annoyed Xabi, if it was any other person than Kylian.

He’d kind of gotten used to it. Started to look forward to it.

Having 10-20 new messages waiting for him, whenever he had the time to check his phone. Kylian’s little ramblings. Mostly silly. A little clingy. It was cute to Xabi. The way Kylian needed to check in constantly.

So it stung a little bit.

Seeing the chat so empty. A tinge of worry settling into Xabi now. Something that his mind had been stuck on since last night. Since Kylian had left. What if.

What if I overstepped.

Last night. Shit. Xabi felt a bit of dread now. The belt. Kylian tied up. The thoughts. The thoughts that had spilled out in the shower afterwards. Controlling, possessive, mean. Demanding.

Maybe he didn’t like it. Not like he had said. Kylian.

Maybe he was too scared to tell me. Intimidated. Maybe he just played along. FUCK. I should have asked. Xabi thought now. I just ordered him around, I didn’t even ask properly. He dragged his hand across his face now. Pained. Full of dread.

He was starting to feel really bad now.

Kylian was young. Way younger than him. And Kylian liked him a lot. Loved him even. Searching for Xabi’s approval all the time. Wanting to be exactly what Xabi liked. Maybe he felt he didn’t have a choice but to go along. Xabi was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. Uncomfortable in his skin. Unhappy now. With how he had went about it. He should have asked. Asked for permission. Properly.

— Good morning ❤️
— How are you this morning Kylian? Did my starboy get in all his beauty sleep? ;)

He decided to text now.

Trying not to dwell on it too much. Maybe Kylian had slept in. He tended to sleep way longer than him anyways. Although it was almost noon. He should be up by now, right? Xabi smiled a little. A thought appearing. Maybe he was just waiting for my morning text. He can get petty like that sometimes.

Xabi let out a breath. Relaxing a little. Trying to calm his mind. Before he sent another text.

— Finally managed to sleep in for once! So thank you for that! ;)

A little explanation. An explanation for Kylian. Why he hadn’t texted yet. Why no morning text had gone in early. Like usually.

And then he waited. Growing a little restless. The silence pressing down on him. The lack of an answer. Daunting. Heavy. Scary.

Still nothing.

No double texts. No long rows of laughing emojis. No old man emojis to annoy him. Xabi decided to exit signal and scroll a little.

Apartment listings in Madrid.

Filtering now. By Price. Number of rooms. Location. Trying to find it. Something that would suit him. His needs. His taste. And it calmed him down. The focus. Having a task to follow through on. Something to keep his mind away from a death spiral. Concentrating now. Keeping his thoughts at bay. Away from thinking that maybe Kylian hadn’t enjoyed it. Last night.

And after a little while.

PING!

Unmistakable. The signal notification sound. Xabi let out a breath. FINALLY. Thank god. Kylian wasn’t fucking ghosting him. Or cutting him off. Of course he wasn’t. Why should he. He would never. How could he ever even have thought of that.

PING!
PING!
PING!
PING!

The messages were flooding in now. Xabi chuckled a little. Kylian’s texting habits were a little funny to him. Every half-sentence needed a new message with him apparently. He couldn’t fit his thoughts into one coherent sentence. It’s like he was using each new message like a comma within his writing. Maybe it was the difference in age. Kylian had grown up with a phone in his hand basically. It was like an extension of his brain. His texts like a stream of consciousness. Xabi smiled. He liked it. How Kylian texted. He liked everything, when it was Kylian doing it. He thought it was cute.

— Finally managed to sleep in for once! So thank you for that! ;)
* glad I put you to sleep well old man 👴
* 😏😏😏😏
* you must’ve been real exhausted
* though your stamina is impressive 🤪
* for someone of your age of course 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫

PING!
PING!
PING!
PING!

—How are you this morning Kylian? Did my starboy get in all his beauty sleep? ;)
* I slept like shit
* my mom is here
* she arrived yesterday
* unannounced

PING!
PING!
PING!
PING!

* SHE TOLD ME NOTHING
* imagine how stressed I was yesterday, I didn’t even shower at the hotel and I had to greet her like that
* embarrassing 😭😭😭😭😭
* anyways we’re out

PING!
PING!
PING!
PING!

* we’re at lunch now, she is on the toilet
* I’m trying to be the perfect son rn
* she suspects something is going on, so as compensation I have to stuff myself with pastries
* I’ll explain next time when we meet, or call

PING!
PING!
PING!
PING!
PING!

* Anyways that’s why I’m not texting much
* if you were wondering
* can’t check my phone constantly like I’m waiting on messages 😔😔😔
* she leaves tonight though
* Maybe we could call later?

Xabi was chuckling a little reading through all the messages. Really fond. Their little chat alive now. Like always. He really had worried for nothing. Stupid. Silly.

* Maybe we could call later?
— Yeah, Kylian I’d love to have a call! ❤️ I have some stuff to tell you about, nothing bad. Actually it’s exciting!
— Enjoy your time with your mom! And don’t get a sugar high from all the pastries you’re apparently eating! ;)

Another flood of notifications started going in response.

* 😂😂😂😂😂
* I’ll try 🫃🏾🫃🏾🫃🏾🫃🏾🫃🏾
* I’ll call you!
* Once she is gone, my mom
* Excited about the news 😏😏😏😏
* I love you
* ❤️💕😘

Xabi relaxed against the headboard. Cheeks hurting from smiling too much. God. He LOVED him. Like actually loved him. It was a bit much. He was getting all mushy just reading his little messages. Like a fucking schoolgirl crush. Xabi grinned now. A warm and funny little feeling inside his belly. Him and Kylian. Their thing. It was so thrilling. Intoxicating. Sweet. Like candy. Like a treat you couldn’t get enough off. Until you were high on a sugar rush. Floating.

* I’ll call you!
— Can’t wait! ❤️

* I love you
— I love you more Kylian. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

He let his head fall back now. Closing his eyes for a bit. Letting it sink in. That feeling. That rush. That warmth. That one only felt when in love. Comforting. Yet exciting. Incredibly so. He let his mind wander now. Slowly catching up. Internally.

Kylian’s mom.

She was in town. Xabi would love to meet her one day. Properly. But that couldn’t be right now. God no.

She’d probably hate him if she knew.

Xabi’s eyebrows were drawing together a bit now. In thought. It irked him a little. That Kylian couldn’t tell her. Because Xabi knew how much his family meant to Kylian. His mom. His little brother. His father. His Sister in Law. Or Ex-Sister in law? Kylian had explained it to him. That one. It was a bit confusing. The mom of his little niece and nephew is who Xabi had categorized her as in his mind.

He probably feels really bad. Not telling them.

It’s what came to mind while Xabi kept thinking. Worry creasing his forehead. God. Why did everything have to be so complicated for them.

Never easy.

Like their thing actually was. Easy. Like it felt when they were together. When the outside world didn’t matter. Light, tender.

Easy.

Xabi let out a sigh and got up. Going over to his suitcase now. Unpacking a little. And the book fell into his hands. The one he had actually gifted Kylian. The title mocking him. Big white letters on the bright pink cover.

“Against all Odds”

He shook his head a little. What a joke. Marlene doesn’t have it half as bad as us. One divorce and a few judging looks here and there. And she would be set. She will be fine. She doesn’t have to hide forever.

She doesn’t have to fear losing her job. She doesn’t have the eyes of the whole world on her. Honestly. The odds stacked against her weren’t even all that bad.

Xabi shook his head again, while unpacking further.

Maybe it’s him who should write a romance novel. The real “Against all Odds”. Him and Kylian. With proper stakes. Proper hurdles.

A real forbidden love.

He chuckled a little now. At how real it all was. How really REALLY in love they HAD TO BE. For doing this. Committing to this.

Their thing. Against all Odds.

Chapter Text

He finally had time. Time to call Xabi. Finally inside the privacy of his own room, his private bathroom, now. His mom had left earlier in the evening. But then he had somehow gotten stuck talking with his assistant. About some schedules in the upcoming weeks. A photoshoot, plus commercial shoot for nike. And some events he was planning on attending. Or rather.

It would be bad manners not attending them.

Being Kylian Mbappé meant maintaining a lot of relationships. It also meant showing up to a lot of events he didn’t really want to be at. Since his main occupation while there would be being gawked at like a zoo animal. All while having his picture taken every few seconds. Honestly it was a hustle, trying to look like he was enjoying himself all night. So nobody caught him slacking or took an picture unfortunate picture while he wouldn’t notice. But whatever. Kylian was used to it by now. It was part of the job.

Though this time.

He really didn’t want to go. Especially to one networking event in Paris, sponsored by the hotel brand he had a marketing deal with. He had only accepted the deal in the first place, since they were willing to be a huge donor to his foundation in return. And this event would be at the end of his holidays. Before training started up again. He had tried to get out of it. Because he wanted to stay in Madrid. See Xabi again. As often as possible. Before their hectic schedules during the season would return. But it had been useless. Kylian knew he had to go there.

Show face.

And now he was back inside his room and it was late. Close to midnight. And he was a little annoyed at himself. He shouldn’t have tried to argue for so long. Knowing that it would be fruitless anyways. Because maybe Xabi was already asleep now. Maybe he managed to lose out on even more time with him, miss out on his promised call, because of his thick skull. Always way too stubborn. Kylian frowned a little. Texting Xabi now, while brushing his teeth. Yawning already. Tired. It had been a long day. Yet he was still determined. Determined to get his call in with Xabi. Tonight.

He had been looking forward to it. The knowledge that it was waiting for him at home having carried him throughout the entire day.

* hey Xabi…
* I‘m sorry 😔😔😔
* It got kind of late
* my mom left and then my assistant cornered me with some things that still needed planning 💔
* sorry for making you wait so long
* are you still awake?

Kylian’s phone started vibrating against his palm, just as he was about to type whether Xabi still wanted to call.

Incoming call. By none other than ‚Xabi Alonso‘.

It felt weirdly impersonal having his number saved under his full government name. But he couldn’t really save his real life coaches number under something like ,Xabi 💕💕💕💕‘ or ‚Old Man 👴🥺‘. That could lead to some complicated situations, ones that he would rather avoid.

Kylian picked up hurriedly. Pressing the phone against his right ear now. Still brushing his teeth with his left hand.

„Hi Thsabi.“

It came out a little lispy. Xabi’s name. With the toothbrush still pressing against the inside of his left cheek.

It sounded stupid.

But Kylian heard a chuckle on the other end of the line. Xabi. It made his heart flip a bit. Because he loved it. Xabi‘s laugh. Warm and soothing.

„Thsabiiii?“

Xabi imitated his voice now. Drawing it out.

„What was that?“

He laughed again. Even richer.

„I‘m bruching my tseeth.“ Kylian said matter-of-factly.

Amused at how stupid it sounded. Playing the lisp up a little. Because he knew it was amusing to Xabi as well. And there is nothing he liked more than making Xabi laugh.

Another chuckle.

„Alright Kylian.“

He said now. Voice warm and tender.

„Let me talk then. Until you’re finished, yeah?“

„Yeth.“ Kylian answered with a small giggle.

And another chuckle followed at that. Xabi sounded endeared. It filled Kylian with a little pride. He loved being endearing to Xabi.

„So.“ Xabi started.

„Here is the thing.“ He waited a little.

„Tomorrow I‘m going downtown. To the city. To look at an apartment. And who knows? If it’s nice, I might be buying it.“

What? Wait. A new apartment? That meant. Xabi was moving out. Already? Kylian felt giddy all of a sudden. He liked this development. VERY MUCH. Because it meant that it was real. Xabi’s decision to choose him. The divorce. All of it. Xabi was really REALLY serious. Well Kylian had already thought so. But this was solid. A new place. Like a confirmation.

„Kylian? Are you still there?“

„Yeth.“ Kylian answered dumbly now. Still lispy.

He needed to get rid of his toothbrush. This was too important a conversation for him to sound so stupid.

„Wait.“ Kylian said now.

Before he quickly spat out his saliva mixed with toothpaste. And gurgled some water which he also spat out. So he could talk now.

Properly.

Xabi was patiently waiting on the other side of the line. Hearing Kylian’s movements. Finishing the last steps of his nighttime routine. Drying his mouth a little now with a cloth. Walking out of his bathroom into his bedroom, while asking.

„You’re moving out?“

Kylian tried to sound non-chalant. Not over-eager. But he couldn’t help but let a little excitement creep into his voice.

„Yeah. Yeah Kylian. I sure am.“

Xabi laughed again, like he couldn’t really believe it himself. That this was real. That he was doing this.

„That’s– That’s wow. I didn’t think you‘d be moving so quickly–„

„She asked me to. Today. I get it.“ Xabi cut in now. Explaining a little.

Oh? She asked him to? Kylian didn’t really know how to feel about that information. That it had been her pushing for the move, not Xabi. But he also felt happy. Because that meant she was moving along now. Accepting the situation for what it was.

„Kylian?“

„Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I‘m processing. I‘m happy! We can meet more now. No more secret hotel meet-ups, you know.“

Kylian said now. Thinking. He wanted to see him again. Xabi. Soon.

„Yeah! Yeah Kylian.“

Xabi sounded excited.

„Honestly, I‘m probably just going to buy that place tomorrow. I don’t want to draw out the process. I don’t like these types of things anyways. ‚Trying to find the perfect place.‘“

„Mhm.“ Kylian was nodding along.

„And. As you know. Any place will be perfect with you there Kylian.“

Xabi said now. Voice playful, sultry, over the top. On purpose.

It was Kylian’s time to chuckle now.

„God you’re so corny.“

Kylian said while smiling.

„You love it.“

„I do.“

A beat of silence. Comfortable silence.

Both of them letting it sink in. Their new reality. A new place. A place to make their own a little. Together. Of course Kylian wouldn’t be moving in. It would be impossible. The optics of it. Horrible. But he‘d spend time there. They would spend time there. Together. Hopefully a lot of time. They would make it work somehow.

„I miss you.“

Kylian let out now. Honest. Because he did. Miss him. Though they had seen each other just last night.

„Me too Kylian.“

Xabi answered. Before he added.

„I can’t wait to see you again.“

Kylian smiled a little. High from Xabi‘s affection.

„Better buy that place quick then!“

He joked now. Chuckling a little.

„You’re joking Kylian, but I‘m so serious. I‘m going in there tomorrow and when I walk out, it will be MY place.“

Kylian chuckled again.

„You’re crazy old man.“ It came out warm. Loving.

„Yeah Kylian. I am. I’m crazy for you!“

Another corny line. Another joke with a tinge of seriousness.

Kylian giggled now.

„Whatever. Do as you wish I guess. But don’t put the blame on me if there is rats in the attic or something.“

„I’ll go to court claiming I bought the place blinded by love and they’ll be so moved by our story. They will have to make the realtor give me my money back.“

Xabi joked now. And another giggle left Kylian. Before a yawn spilled out. He couldn’t help it. Kylian had barely gotten any sleep last night.

„You’re tired Kylian?“

„Yeah.“

Clear. Honest. Followed by another Yawn. Louder this time.

„Sorry–“

„Don’t apologize.“

Xabi interrupted him. Before adding.

„Let’s go to sleep yeah? Kylian? We can talk again soon. I’ll tell you how it went? The place, tomorrow yeah?“

„Yeah. Yeah okay.“

A beat of silence. And then.

„I love you Kylian.

„I love you too, Xabi.“

„Sweet dreams then, hmmm?“

Xabi. Using that sultry tone again. Joking.

„Yeah sure Xabi. You too. Don’t dream of rats in the attic.“

And with that. They hung up. Both drifting towards sleep now. With the knowledge that something new would be waiting for them. A new place. A new start. A New beginning.

New memories.

Chapter Text

This would be. Embarrassing.

But Xabi’s mind had been stuck on it ever since their last encounter. Him and Kylian. In room 408. They would have to talk. Properly. Establish their boundaries.

And now. Kylian was here. At Xabi’s new place. Checking it out.

It would be the perfect time.

Honestly the place looked really sad right now. Xabi still had to get some proper furniture for it. All he had as of this moment was a kitchen table, some chairs for it, a bed in the bedroom. Luckily the bedroom had a walk-in closet. So he wouldn’t have to think about that at least.

The purchase. Of his new place. It had been a little rushed. And one could tell by the state the place was in.

He had bought it. Immediately.

Desperate to get out of the house. See Kylian again. Get away from his wife, like she had wanted. To finally have his own space. A space he also wanted to share a little. With Kylian. Make new memories in.

It had been the only place he even looked at.

It was nice enough though. Top floor apartment inside an old historic Madrid-Style building. Yet newly renovated on the inside. Small rooftop balcony. Walk-in Closet. Modern Kitchen and stove. The bathroom was really nice as well. Modern, yet tasteful. Big shower and a bathtub. It also had two big rooms with glass fronts at the back of the building. A beautiful view of the city. Most of the apartment lacked walls. Big Spaces. Lofty. Except for the bedroom and those two rooms. The kids could share them –the two rooms at the back– when they came to visit. At least that had been Xabi’s idea when he bought the apartment.

The place also had a private elevator.

Very USEFUL. It connected the apartment directly to an underground car park, that the building held beneath it. The only apartment in the building with such a feature. A private elevator. The realtor and architects had put some proper effort into making the top-floor into a real luxury apartment. It was the crown jewel of the entire building.

And Xabi had liked it. Immediately. So he had just bought it. Like he had planned. Not letting doubt creep in. No seconds thoughts.

The price was the only real negative about the place anyways. It had been a little overpriced. But nothing Xabi couldn’t afford. So he had simply disregarded that little hangup. There would always be something.

And the realtor had been pretty surprised.

At how easy his job had been here. But also Xabi could tell that he had recognized him. Spanish football legend that he was, now Real Madrid’s head coach. Of course he recognized him.

And Xabi knew.

The press would start talking soon. Xabi Alonso buying a new apartment in the city. Without his wife. Just over two weeks after he had returned from Miami. Yeah. It would not go unnoticed. Everything was becoming very REAL. The divorce. The apartment.

His new life.

But Xabi, being honest, couldn’t wait for it to be out there. Just get it over with. Have the world know. It would be one less weight on his shoulders. He was tired of fearing the public reception the divorce would have. It probably wouldn’t even be that bad. People got divorced all the time now. Just the timing of it was a little off that’s all. But who times their fucking divorce right?

It was always a bad time.

And he was planning on splitting amicably. Remain a good relationship with his wife. Ex-wife. Despite the cheating. She was already coming around a little. She’d get over it at some point. At least he hoped so. And he would stay involved with his kids. Probably more involved than he had been before. Since they would visit him now. Spending time with him. ALONE. Without his wife for once. Without always drifting towards her more than him, because they just knew her better. Saw her more.

Yeah. It would all be fine. Xabi was sure of it.

Xabi made his way over to his kitchen table. Since it was the only place to sit down as of now. The only place to have a conversation at. The kitchen was open towards the large living room. Again. No walls. It was basically one large living area. He sat down. Looking at Kylian for a moment.

Who was walking around the living room. Checking boxes. Curious. About Xabi’s stuff. His belongings. Most of his moving cartons hadn’t even been unpacked at the old place. His wife’s –soon-to-be-ex-wife’s– house. Not properly moved in yet. So moving them here now had been pretty easy.

Xabi could feel something warm swell inside his chest. Something like love. Just looking at him. Kylian. He really, REALLY loved him. SO MUCH. Scrunched up face and eyebrows inspecting a stack of old CDs now. Going through it carefully. Pretty hands holding Xabi’s things. Inspecting them. Aquainting themselves. Kylian and Xabi’s belongings. Kylian looked up. A bit puzzled now.

“Do you even still have something to play these with?” He asked. Curious.

Pointing at the CDs.

“No.” Xabi chuckled. “No I don’t. Their value is sentimental though Kylian. I can’t throw them out.”

And he wouldn’t. Those were his old albums. The ones he had loved listening to when he was younger. When CDs still were a thing. When they were still considered fairly modern even.

Kylian nodded. Accepting his answer. Going over now. To check the next box. Inspect it.

“Kylian?” Xabi asked.

Remembering his mission. What he had wanted to talk to Kylian about. A bit uncomfortable. Embarrassing. But he had to do it. It was the right thing to do.

Kylian turned around now. Looking at him. Bright smile. Bright eyes. Dimples creased deep.

“Yeah?” He asked lightly.

Xabi cleared his voice a bit. Starting again.

“Can you? Can you come over here? Sit down for a bit? I want to talk to you. About something?”

Kylian’s eyebrows raised themselves up now in a bit of confusion. But also intrigue.

“Okay?” He said now, already walking over to Xabi.

Pulling out a chair now. Sitting down. Looking at him kindly. Openly.

“What’s up old man?” He joked.

Trying to relieve a bit of the tenseness he was sensing from Xabi. Xabi laughed in response. Feeling a bit more comfortable now.

He had to finally get it out. What had been on his mind. Since room 408.

“Uhm. I was just thinking Kylian. About last time. At the hotel. When we met.” He started.

It sounded a bit too formal. Kylian was nodding along anyways. Waiting to hear more.

“Uhm.” Xabi was really not good at this.

He was more of a hands on –in the moment– kind of guy when it came to sex. He didn’t really like talking about it like it was some technicality. Removed from the action itself. He just liked to do it. Be in it. In the moment.

Whatever.

He had to get over it. He had to talk to Kylian. He couldn’t just do anything without asking first again.

“When I used the belt, uhh. To tie you up. I didn’t ask for your permission.” He said now.

Kylian cut in immediately.

“Well you kind of did– not directly. But I could have refused, you know. Said ‘no’ if I didn’t want to.”

He said easily. Thinking. Calming.

“Okay.” Xabi answered. Dumbly.

God he felt so stupid right now.

“So you wanted it?” Xabi asked.

Kylian laughed a little now. Looking stunned. Amused. Like Xabi was being ridiculous.

“Yeah? Yeah, I really liked it actually. You couldn’t tell?” He chuckled now.

Looking. Sympathetic.

“I mean. I thought so.” Xabi answered. Nodding now. Still embarrassed.

“I just–“ He started again.

“I– I enjoyed it a lot. Having you like that. You know. Tied up.” Xabi felt his own cheeks turning red.

This was so ridiculous.

“I could tell.” Kylian said. Confident.

Smirking a bit. Mischievous. He was liking this conversation way too much.

“I just don’t want to overstep. You know. Kylian. Because I don’t know really. What your boundaries are. So. I just don’t want to do anything in the future. That you wouldn’t enjoy, you know?”

He finally got it out. Looking at Kylian now. Earnest. His cheeks still a little red.

“Are you asking what you’re allowed to do to me in bed?” Kylian asked now.

Tone a little teasing. He was enjoying this. Seeing Xabi a bit embarrassed. Out of his element. Xabi could tell. The little shit.

Such a brat when he wanted to be.

Xabi’s head fell down now. Looking at his own hands for a bit. Folded neatly on the table. Wedding ring gone now. Discarded.

He sighed and looked up again.

“Yeah Kylian. Yeah, that’s basically what I’m asking.”

Eyebrows drawn up now. Honest. Open. Searching.

“Well.”

Kylian was leaning in a little now. Tone flirtatious. Intrigued.

“That depends? What is it that you want to do to me, hmmm?”

“Uhm.”

Xabi’s mind halted. At a bit of a loss. Images flashing before his eyes now. Of all the things he had imagined. All the things he had done to him. Kylian. In his mind. Ever since their last encounter. His cheeks were painting red again. He felt like a fucking pervert.

“That bad?”

Kylian’s eyebrows were drawing up now. A little stunned. Positively. Still intrigued.

Xabi didn’t know what to say. He didn’t even have a proper plan going into this conversation. His desire for Kylian wasn’t that aimed, focused. He just wanted to. TO DO MORE. He didn’t even really know yet. What exactly. JUST MORE.

He looked at Kylian now. Focused.

“I didn’t make a list if that’s what you’re asking me Kylian.”

Kylian reacted a bit startled. Surprised yet amused at Xabi’s frank response.

“I’d like to know though.” Kylian said now thinking again.

“What you’re thinking. What you want to do.”

“I’m more of a ‘Do don’t Tell’ kind of guy though.” Xabi said now. Smiling faintly. Like an excuse. Contemplating.

He didn’t want a preset catalogue of what he was allowed to do and what not. That was just not him. That’s not how he operated. It felt. Too formal. Not spontaneous. Not sexy. Not intriguing.

“Okay.” Kylian said quietly.

Eyebrows scrunching together now. Thinking as well. It took a moment, before Kylian went on.

“Maybe we could just establish a safeword.” He suggested, before he started to explain.

“That’s a word for–“

Xabi interrupted him. Laughing a little exasperated.

“I know what a safeword is Kylian.” Xabi was smiling at him now.

“Oh. Okay. Sorry Xabi. You seemed a little new to this uhhh– this type of conversation–“

Kylian giggled now. A little nervous. But also relieved. Relieved he didn’t have to explain.

“I’m just a bit older Kylian, I’m not completely oblivious and out of touch.” Xabi deadpanned.

Kylian let his head fall a little, though he was still smiling. Stupid. Of course Xabi knew what a safeword was.

“So a safeword? What do you think?” Kylian started again.

“You can do. Whatever it is– You know. What you want to do. Uhhh. To me. And if it’s too much –for me– you know. Safeword.”

Xabi was nodding now. He was thinking about it. Whether it would work. Considering it. It really was a very simple solution. It should do. He thought. For now.

“Okay. Let’s do that.” He said.

More determined now. His confidence returning. This was good. He was comfortable with this. It didn’t really change anything all that much. He could operate –how he tended to operate. Spontaneous. Only difference being a simple word. To stop him. And at least they had talked about it now. Established some rule. For Kylian’s sake.

“And what’s your word hmmm? Kylian.”

Kylian looked a little startled now. Surprised his own idea had gained ground with Xabi so quickly.

“Uhhh. I don’t know right now– Haven’t really thought–“

Xabi interrupted him again. Having an idea. Smirking now.

“How about ‘Marlene’? Hmm?”

Kylian was staring at him big-eyed.

“Whenever my big-city-boy Kylian can’t handle something small-town-girl ‘Marlene’ comes to the rescue. What do you think?”

Xabi was really happy with his idea. Leaning in now. Staring straight at Kylian. Having gained back his confidence now. Comfortable again. Assured.

And Kylian shifted a little in his seat. Like it was dawning on him. What he was about to do. Basically giving Xabi a free-pass to do whatever. ,Marlene’ being his only rescue. He gulped a little. Eyes big now. Looking scared. But mostly. Intrigued. Willing. Wanting. Xabi could tell that Kylian liked it. Liked the idea. Being a little on edge. The promise of MORE waiting for him. Yet not knowing what exactly that MORE entailed.

Trust. SURRENDER. To Xabi’s whims.

Kylian nodded now. Before he simply said.

“Marlene.”

While he was still nodding. Like he was letting the word sink into his skin. Letting it stick. Letting it cling to his skin. Xabi’s sickness. Spreading. Slimy. Taking a hold of him. Kylian. Infecting him as well.

“Marlene.” Xabi said in return now.

In agreement. Their word. It had been decided. A pact. An agreement. Simple, yet effective.

Xabi leaned back now. Relaxed. Looking at Kylian from his chair. Kylian seemed a little zoned out. In trance.

“You forgot it by the way.” Xabi said now.

“Huh?” Is all Kylian managed to answer.

“Your book. ‘Marlene’. My gift to you.”

“Oh.”

“Not very polite is it Kylian? Just disregarding a gift like that?”

Kylian’s eyes widened like a question now. Asking. ‘Is this part of it?’ ‘Part of the MORE?’ ‘Part of what you want to do? To me?’ And then Kylian was starting to shake his head. Answering Xabi.

“No. It’s not polite. Not at all.”

Such a good answer from Kylian. Playing along so well already.

“I’m glad we agree Kylian.”

A short pause.

“What do you think?” Xabi asked now.

Waiting on another answer.

“Huh?” Kylian was confused.

“Do you think you deserve to be punished?”

“For your bad behavior?”

Another pause. A beat of silence. Before Kylian absentmindedly started nodding.

“Words Kylian.”

Kylian gulped. Like he had done earlier. Before he rushed it out. His answer.

“Yes! I should be– I should be punished. It wasn’t polite. It was disrespectful. I disappointed you Coach.”

Kylian was nodding harder now. More. Like he really wanted to now. Very willing. To be punished. Properly. Eyes looking up at Xabi now. Big. Dark. Waiting. Wanting.

Ready now. Ready to take his punishment. Whatever it may be.

This was too good. Addicting. Way too easy with Kylian. Xabi felt high already. But honestly he hadn’t even thought that far. The punishment. What it should even be.

“How Kylian? How should I punish you?”

“What’s an adequate punishment for disregarding a heartfelt gift like that? Hmmm? What do you think?”

Kylian cheeks were coating a little red now.

Xabi had somehow completely flipped the script on him. And now it was Kylian. Not Xabi. Having to voice them.

His desires. In detail.

“Come on Kylian. I don’t have all day.” Xabi added now.

A little strict. Because he felt like it. Felt like being strict. A bit more unforgiving than usual.

Kylian’s cheeks were impossibly red now. He seemed to really like strict Xabi. Xabi made a mental note.

“You could–“ Kylian looked down.

Eyes trained on his lap now. Voice turning a little small. Timid. Embarrassed.

“You could tie me to your bed. Edge me. You know like–“

He made a small motion with his left hand. To illustrate.

“Handjob.”

“And I can’t move. I have to take it.”

He rushed it out.

The first punishment. The first suggestion. Kylian paused, Xabi waited. Intrigued, fascinated. Before Kylian kept going. Still careful. Turning even redder now.

“Or you could. You could just fuck me. And I’m not allowed to come. But you make it impossible. You make me come anyways. And when I do. You punish me even more for it.”

Another suggestion.

Kylian was beet-red now. Xabi felt entranced looking at him. Kylian had definitely been thinking about it. This. Taking things further. DOING MORE. Punishments. Just like he had. Xabi doing stuff to him. All kinds of stuff.

And he was still going.

“You could. Uh. Use your belt again. Put me across a chair. Whip me with it. Your belt– I mean. Until it burns. Against my naked ass. Or my thighs. So it hurts whenever I sit down. So I’m reminded. Of – of how I disappointed you.”

This was all very interesting. VERY interesting. It was like Xabi had a front row seat, a direct look at Kylian’s innermost desires. His fantasies. Dark. Filthy. Kylian took another breath. Still nervous. Before adding the last suggestion.

“Or you could uhm. Use it to tie my arms again. The belt. Behind my back. Have me kneel on hard floor. Legs spread– Tiles. The kitchen. Or the bathroom. And fuck my mouth again. Have me take it. Over and over. Till my knees turn blue. Till I lack oxygen– and I can barely breathe.”

Silence.

Kylian’s ideas had all spilled out. Incredibly embarrassed now. Eyes still trained down. Unable to look at Xabi. See his reaction. Looking vulnerable. Scared. Scared that it might have been too much. TOO MUCH FOR XABI. Or not what he wanted. Kylian’s desires and fantasies all laid out in front of him. To do with as he pleased.

“Wow Kylian.”

“Those are some pretty dirty thoughts for such a good boy like you.” Joking.

Xabi was smirking now. Glad. Glad to know they were on the same page. Kylian definitely wouldn’t have ANY problem with the stuff Xabi had imagined doing to him. That much he knew now.

“Seems you’re not so good after all, huh?”

“Actually you’re quite bad aren’t you?”

A pause. Followed by the smallest of nods from Kylian.

“You probably forgot it on purpose? Didn’t you?”

“The book?”

“You wanted to be punished so badly, didn’t you Kylian.”

Xabi started shaking his head. Letting out a breath, like he was exasperated.

“Such a bad boy.”

Kylian cut in now.

“I didn’t– I didn’t do it on purpose Coach. Really!”

Eyes drawn big. Innocent. What Xabi liked. Playing into it perfectly.

“Sure Kylian. You came up with all of that on the spot just now. Because you didn’t do it on purpose. Because you never thought about it right? Because you didn’t want to be punished?” Xabi said.

Sarcastically. Tone mocking.

“Don’t act like I’m stupid Kylian. I don’t like it.”

Kylian was nodding now. Frantically.

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” He said now.

“I’m sorry what? Kylian?”

“I’m sorry. Coach.”

A beat of silence. Kylian looked up again. Big eyed. Vulnerable. Before he started to give himself up completely. Confessing to a crime that wasn’t really one.

Surrendering himself.

“You’re right. I’m bad. I’m really bad Coach. You gave me a gift. And i didn’t even appreciate it properly. Like I should have. Really bad. Not polite.”

There was a small pause. Before Kylian went on. Adding to it. Adding more. More reasons for why he should be punished.

“And I keep thinking. Really bad stuff. About you. Things I shouldn’t. Things a good boy wouldn’t think about. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

He looked up. Eyes big and glassy. Coated over with want. Lust.

“You inside me. I think about it all the time. Even when I’m out. Even in public. Even when I was out in the city with my mom. Even back in Miami. During training. I kept thinking about it. You taking me. Right there. On the training pitch. Everyone seeing it. The staff. The squad. How bad I am. How difficult you have it with me. Because I’m so bad. So clingy and desperate. ”

Silence.

Xabi could feel himself grow hard inside his pants. God. Kylian was so perfect. Perfect for this. So GOOD at being BAD for him. Playing into it for Xabi. Matching his needs. EXACTLY how he wanted it. Xabi started shaking his head now. Disapproving.

“Such a bad boy.”

He let out a sigh before he continued. Like Kylian’s case was hopeless.

“I don’t even know if it makes sense Kylian. To try with you. You’re so bad. Maybe it’s pointless. Maybe you can never be good?”

He paused. Kylian was starting to shake his head. Frantic. He was really falling into the role he was playing now. Lines blurring.

“No! Please! I can be!” Looking at Xabi. Pleading.

“I can be good. I promise. I will try for you Coach. Just– Just punish me. I will show you. How good I can be. How well I can take my punishment. Please!”

He drew in a breath. Before adding.

“Please punish me. HARD. Just give it to me. Like I deserve. Please let me show you how good I can be Coach. PLEASE!”

And with that. Xabi got up. From his chair.

It screeched a bit against the kitchen tiles. Ominous. And Kylian still sitting down. Was staring up at him. After his plead. Big-eyed. Anticipating.

Xabi made his way around the table. Quietly. Until he stood. Directly behind Kylian – still on his chair. Taking another little moment now. Building up the tension. Before he let his hand fall onto Kylian’s shoulder. Strong grip. Heavy.

“Get up!” He said simply.

He was ready. Ready to enact punishment.

Ready to get to work. Service him. Give Kylian the punishment he deserved. The one he wanted.

The one he was begging for.

Chapter Text

Xabi was pushing Kylian into the direction of his new bedroom by his shoulder. His grip strong and commanding. And Kylian let himself be led. Until they stood inside said bedroom. A bed. Moving cartons half empty, discarded on the side. Bright ceiling light illuminating the space. Every corner. The blinds already drawn. Outside world shut out.

It really was nothing more than that right now.

But it would do. For what they had planned. For what Xabi’s mind was actively planning and strategizing. Like it was a game, spontaneous. Coming up with solutions on the spot. He didn’t really have a clear outline yet of what he was about to do exactly. It would come to him. Naturally.

Xabi let go of Kylian’s shoulder now. Like it was an instruction. To keep still. To wait. While he himself made his way to the edge of the bed now. Sitting down. Comfortable. Manspreading. Leaning back a little. To have a better look. A better look at Kylian. And he just stared at him. Eyes raking up and down. Slowly. Calculating. While Kylian stood impossibly still. Still clothed. Waiting for further instructions. Pliant. GOOD. Like he had to prove something. And he does. Xabi thought. Bad boy that he is, he needs to prove how good he can be. His mind provided now. He was smirking. Chuckling a little on the inside. This would be fun. SO FUN.

He took another short moment. Before he spoke.

“Strip.” He said now. Voice strict.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

And Kylian did. Rushed and hurried. Fulfilling Xabi’s demand. As fast as he possibly could. He looked a little funny. Pants getting caught at his calves. Jumping a little off balance, standing on one leg. While he was pulling his socks off. One by one. Xabi’s eyes fell down watching him. And of course Kylian was already hard inside his briefs. Like always. Xabi had yet to see Kylian NOT be hard while he was getting naked for him. It just never happened. Xabi smirked again.

And Kylian pulled them down now. His briefs. In one swift motion. Cock bouncing a little. Like always. Hard. Proud. Big. Between his thighs. Xabi was getting a little addicted to the sight. The reveal. Like curtains being undrawn to start the show.

Kylian was resting again now. Body still. Rooted to his spot. Waiting again. For the next instruction. Wanting to be good again. Fulfill Xabi’s next wish. His next command.

“Come over here Kylian.”

Xabi was pointing at the spot in front of him. At the edge of the bed. Between his spread legs. And Kylian made his way over. Carefully. Before he stood again. In between Xabi’s open legs. His hard cock almost at eye-level with Xabi, who was still sitting on the edge of the bed. Leaning back. Before he lifted himself up a bit. Sitting straight now. Close. Close to Kylian’s naked body. Hard abs and strong V-line in his line of vision. Yet still. Not touching. Still waiting. Xabi looked up now. Seeing Kylian staring down. At him. Xabi decided to shoot him a little wink, before he smiled. Kylian’s cheeks were already coating pink. Before Xabi trained his eyes down again. Looking at Kylian’s cock now. Right in front of him. Hard and proud. So big. So pretty. SO USELESS. Xabi’s mind supplied. Feeling mean.

“So pretty hmmm? Kylian?”

And with that Xabi allowed himself to touch him. Featherlight. Fingers tracing up and down almost the entirety of Kylian’s length. All the way from the base, leaving out the only tip. Up and down. Tracing every little bump. Every vein pulsing beneath his skin. Warm, hot blood. Beneath his skin. Pumping arousal into him. Xabi could tell that a shudder was threatening to spill out of Kylian’s body. But he held still. Skin tight with clenched muscle. Face scrunched in concentration. Eyes closed. Fists clenched at the sides of his body. Pretty strong thighs, twitching a little. Trying to be good. Still. Pliant. For him. As Xabi kept touching him. Touching his cock. Light and ghostly. Up and down. Up and down. Like he would never stop. Xabi decided to let his finger wander all the way down now. Once. To Kylian’s head, rubbing along the slit a little. Back and forth. Once. Twice. Just a little more. Feeling it. The wetness there. The smallest hint of Kylian’s precum threatening to spill. Before Xabi’s hand traced back up again. Back to his previous routine. Ghosting along the sides.

“I bet you look so pretty touching yourself Kylian. Bet you can’t even fit all of it between your pretty hands.”

A statement. Meant to compliment and humiliate in equal measure. No answer required.

Xabi decided to press down now. Against him. Against Kylian’s cock. Before he let go completely. Watching it bounce back into position in the air. Still hard, still proud, still waiting. Xabi leaned back a little again. Against the bed. Satisfied. Before he spoke.

“I think we should establish some rules now Kylian. For your punishment. What do you think?”

He looked up at Kylian, who just nodded dumbly. Eyes open and wanting. Eager.

“Alright.” Xabi let out a sigh.

As if he was thinking now. Contemplating. But really. He already knew what he wanted the rules to be. He looked at Kylian. Strict. Stern.

“You don’t move unless I ask you to. You don’t come, unless I allow you to. You don’t complain. You don’t speak unless I directly ask you to speak. Unless of course ‘Marlene’ has to pay a visit. You try to stay quiet. No whining. No moaning. You just take it. Your punishment. Like a really good boy, alright?”

Kylian nodded again.

“Words, Kylian. Did you understand?”

“I understood.”

“‘I understood’ what? Kylian?”

“I undertstood Coach?”

“Good.”

“Actually.” Xabi added now. Spontaneous.

“Another rule. Durning punishments. You’ll only be addressing me as Coach. Understood?”

“Yes Coach.”

“Very good Kylian. That’s my good boy. My starboy, hmmm?”

And with that he slapped Kylian’s cock a little. Just lightly. Teasing. So that it bounced a bit in the air.

“Hmmm?”

He did it again. A little harder this time, but still restrained. Still tender. He didn’t want to actually hurt him. At least not for now. Kylian’s cock bounced again.

And Xabi relished in it.

Kylian’s reaction. Or rather the lack thereof. Small yet noticeable. A jolt going through him, kept contained. The slightest bit of movement, while he kept himself still. Not moving. Not making a sound. Just like Xabi had ordered.

“Answer me Kylian. Are you my good boy?”

He asked. While patting Kylian’s right thigh a little now. Before he let his thumb dig into Kylian’s skin there. Dragging it around a bit beneath his thumb. His whole palm grabbing his leg now. Letting the flesh of his thigh spill through his fingers. Soft and tender skin. Warm and hot beneath his palm. Goosebumps coating the surface.

Kylian drew in a small breath before he answered.

“Yes Coach.”

He said quietly, determined.

“I’m your good boy Coach. Your favorite boy.” He added. Eyes pleading. Begging.

“Hmmmmmm.” Xabi let out a sigh.

Dragging the the meat of Kylian thigh around now. Contemplating. Thinking.

“I really don’t think so Kylian.” He said now.

He paused for a moment. Getting himself ready. To shift tone a little.

“Good boys don’t forget about their gifts.” He said. Accusatory. Resentful.

And he accentuated it.

With a strong slap against the side of Kylian’s thigh. Open palm. Falling against hot flesh. And he watched it ripple through Kylian. Cock bouncing a little again. Body shifting. Muffled sound. Muscles straining beneath his skin. Clenching. Trying to NOT. To not react. To not move. It was fascinating to watch. Kylian’s restraint. Especially because Xabi was used to him being so needy. So loud. So whiny.

“Good boys don’t wish to be punished.”

Another strong slap.

Even harder this time. The same spot on the side of Kylian’s thigh. God his thighs were so beautiful. Sculpted by hard work and dedication. Xabi let his hand rest now. Soothing the skin a bit where he had hit him. Hot and tingling beneath his palm. Burning probably. Stinging a little.

„Only bad boys wish to be punished Kylian, because they know how bad they are. They know they deserve it.“

Xabi’s hand had returned to Kylian’s cock. Grip stronger now than before. Actually closing his palm a bit. Stroking him. Up and down. Slow and measured.

„So Kylian, think again, are you my good boy?“

Xabi said now, between strokes. Looking up at Kylian’s face now. Seeing his brows draw together. Little twitches going through his face. Through his entire body.

„N–No I‘m not.“ Kylian answered now.

Small. Voice stuttering a bit. Before he added hastily.

„I‘m not Coach.“

„That‘s right Kylian. You’re not good. You’re bad.“

Kylian shoulders were sinking a bit. Like he was actually disappointed. Disappointed in himself. He was getting really invested into this. Their little fantasy. Xabi could tell. While he kept stroking him. Loving it. The feeling. The weight of Kylian’s entire length beneath his palm. Hot and aching. Upkeeping his tempo. To keep it that way. Slow. Measured. Up. Down.

„But you can be. You can be Kylian. Be my good boy again. Hmmm?“

Kylian just nodded. Eager. Wordless.

„Show it to me then, Kylian.“

And with that Xabi let go of Kylian’s cock. Kylian’s eyes shot open. Big. A question swimming inside them. Eager. ‚How?‘ ‚How can I show you?‘

Xabi rose up now. From his place on the bed. Towering over Kylian just the tiniest bit. Bodies touching with how close they stood to each other. Kylian naked. Xabi fully clothed. And then Xabi let himself slide around Kylian’s patient body. Like a raptor circling its prey. Before he stood directly behind him. Letting his hands fall to his hipbones now. Pressing up against him a bit. Kylian’s bare backside against Xabi’s clothed crotch. Xabi also hard inside his pants now. Letting Kylian feel it a little. Get an idea of how Xabi was feeling. How hard it made him, seeing Kylian like this. All for him. Pliant. Good. Xabi let his chin fall onto Kylian’s shoulder from behind. Hot breath ghosting along the side of Kylian’s neck now.

While Kylian stood still. Good and patient. Like he was supposed to. Drawing in deep breaths. It was honestly intoxicating. This. Kylian so ready, so naked, so open for him. His to use. His to do as he pleased with. Xabi loved the feeling. The responsibility that came with it. Having all that control. Thinking on how to use it right. To make it good for Kylian. Make him feel good. Give him what he wanted. What he desired.

„Get on the bed for me Kylian. Hands and knees.“

And Kylian did. Get on the bed. For him. And it was a sight to behold. Head hanging low. Soft nape between strong shoulders. Broad back leading down to his waist. His plum, muscled backside facing Xabi now. Round. Strong and soft all the same. Pretty. Like all of him. All of Kylian. His. His Kylian. Looking so vulnerable beneath him on the bed. So good. So well-behaved. Hard cock still dangling beneath him. Not quite touching the bedsheets.

„Spread your legs a little more for me Kylian.“

And Kylian did. Quiet. Wordless. Just as ordered. Body lowering now against the bedsheets, the more he spread his legs apart, until it did touch. Kylian’s cock, brushing against the bedsheets now. Just slightly.

„That’s good Kylian. Just like that. Hold it, your position. For me, yeah?“

And Kylian held still again. Just as ordered. Back arched. Legs stretched impossibly wide. The head of his hard cock brushing against the sheets now. Holding himself up with his hands. Body straining to keep his position, just how Xabi liked it. Just how Xabi had ordered it.

„So pretty for me hmmm?“

Xabi let his hand fall on Kylian’s right asscheek. Kneading the flesh a little bit. Massaging it. Strong, yet tender. Catching tiny little glimpses now, while he did it. Of Kylian’s hole. Tight. Nestled between his cheeks. Ready. Ready to be opened up. Ready to be torn apart.

But not yet.

Xabi took his hand away again. Opening his belt now. The same one from last time. Room 408. Slowly. Smoothly. Metal clinking a bit as he pulled it out of his belt loops. The sound of it letting Kylian know, what Xabi was doing behind him.

„Hands behind your back Kylian.“ He said now. Commanding. Strict.

And Kylian let his upper body fall against the sheets. His face turning to the side, cheeks and mouth squished against the covers. As he neatly folded his hands together behind his back. Back arching even more. Kylian’s cheeks parting a little while he got into his new position. His entrance fully visible now. Still tight. Still untouched. Xabi could feel himself harden even more inside of his pants. And then he leaned over a little. Letting his crotch rest against Kylian’s behind –against his exposed entrance– as he did. Letting him feel it again. How hard he was. How good Kylian was making him feel. How powerful. While he started tying the belt around Kylian’s forearms again. Neatly. Just like last time. And then he let go again. Breaking the touch. Standing behind him now. Admiring his work.

Xabi decided to sit back down again.

Next to Kylian. At the edge of the bed. Xabi’s body turned towards him. In his direction. One of his feet still against solid ground. While his other leg rested on top of the covers. Brushing against Kylian’s right thigh and calf a little. Because like this. He could get a good look at Kylian’s face. Squished against the covers. Making his lips look pouty. Eyes scrunched shut. Concentrated. Cute.

And Xabi‘s right hand found it‘s way beneath Kylian’s body. Wrapping around his cock again. Guiding it now. Deliberately brushing the wet tip against the covers. A small sound came out of Kylian at that. Like a strangled moan. A muffled whine against the sheets. Cute. Fun. Xabi decided to keep going. He wanted more of it. More of that sound. Drawing circles against the bedsheets with Kylian’s cock now. And then he let his left hand wander to Kylian’s ass. Pointer-finger dipping in between his spread cheeks. Pushing against Kylian’s rim now. With intent. Still tight. Still dry. And.

There it was again.

That sound. Like a small gift. Another muffled whine a against the sheets. Xabi took another look at Kylian’s face now. Lips pressed tightly together. To keep himself from being too noisy. Pathetic. Cute.

He wanted him to fail. To fail at being silent.

He decided to let his finger rub against Kylian’s entrance now. Against the dry skin there. To get it a little puffy. Before he let his same finger wander to Kylian’s cock as well. While his right hand held it up a little. And then he let his finger trace along Kylian’s slit. Getting it wet with Kylian’s precum, applying a good amount of pressure.

Another muffled sound.

Before he let his finger return to Kylian’s hole, while his right hand started stroking Kylian. The touch was still a little dry though, so Xabi decided to spit into his right palm, before continuing to stroke. Properly. Just the right amount of pressure. Gaining speed a little. Building a proper rhythm for Kylian. While he let the tip of his left finger sink into Kylian now. Just a little. Still tight. Also a little dry still. Only wet with Kylian’s precum. It would burn a little. Opening him like this. But it had to do. This was a punishment after all. ,Marlene’ will stop me. If necessary. Xabi told himself. Yet he still felt the need to make sure.

„Lube is for good boys only, don’t you think Kylian?“

He asked now. While he kept stroking Kylian’s cock. While he kept letting the tip of his finger probe at Kylian’s entrance.

And Kylian didn’t answer.

Whines continuously muffled against the sheets now as Xabi kept stroking him faster. Thighs flexing. Still straining to keep his position. Keep his legs open and wide just like Xabi wanted. Arms still tied together neatly behind his back. Resting on top of him, as his fingers kept twitching. Xabi looked at his face. Eyes scrunched shut with pleasure and focus. He had not even registered the question. Too concentrated. Entirely in another world.

Xabi slowed his strokes down a bit. Stopping now. Letting his hand rest around Kylian. Only thumbing at the slit a little now.

„Kylian answer me, hmmm?“

Xabi‘s voice came out a little tender. Soft. Unfitting for a punishment. He couldn’t help it.

„Wh-what?“ Is all Kylian got out.

Xabi smiled. He was so cute like this. Stupid. All high and far away on pleasure. Trying to keep up. Still trying to please.

„Do you need lube Kylian?“

Xabi had decided to keep the question simple this time. Straightforward. To meet Kylian within his current mental state.

„Or will just spit do?“

He added now. Clarifying further.

„Willdo– spitsenough.“

A hush whisper against the covers. But it was all the confirmation Xabi needed.

He leaned a little over him now. Bending around. Spitting against where the tip of his left finger was still buried inside Kylian’s hole. Once. Twice. Before he let his finger pull out. To catch his spit and push it back inside. Letting his finger sink in now. Slowly. Meeting some resistance. Kylian’s walls. Tight. His whole body clenching. Because he was trying.

Trying to NOT.

Still trying to follow Xabi’s rules from before. Yet failing a little. At not moving. At not making a sound. Because Xabi had started stroking him again. That same pace from before. Fast. Tight grip around him.

„Hhgggn.“

A moan spilled out. While Kylian’s hips rocked once. Still trying. To keep still. To not move. To keep quiet. To not come.

While Xabi‘s finger was fully inside him now. Searching a little. To find it. That spot. Kylian’s hips kicked again. A small jolt. He was getting really close now. Xabi could tell. And he wanted him to. To come.

To fail.

And then he found it. That spot. Inside him. Kylian’s hips kicking immediately. Again. And he let his finger rest there. Just touching slightly. Pressed up against his prostate. While he kept stroking. Grip tightening. Faster, quicker. And just when he wanted to start thumbing at the slit again. Kylian’s hips started to really stutter. Finally failing.

And it broke out of Kylian.

A drawn out stifled moan. While he came. All over Xabi‘s hand. And Xabi kept going. Stroking him. Fast. Milking every last drop out of him. Watching the shudders go through Kylian’s entire body.

Before he let go. Leaning back a little now. His finger still resting inside of Kylian. Pulled back a little now. Not touching that spot anymore.

He looked at Kylian’s face now. Wet with pleasure and tears. Eyes still scrunched shut. Deep breaths leaving his open mouth now. Still squished against the sheets. Drooling a little. So fucking perfect.

„You came Kylian.“ He said now.

Simply. Like he was scolding him a little. Although his tone sounded amused.

„Mmmsorry.“

Xabi dried his right hand against the sheets a little now. Before letting it rest on top of Kylian’s back. Between his shoulder blades. Between his bound-together arms. Soft touch. Soothing. Drawing circles.

Helping Kylian relax a little.

„Sorry what? Kylian?“

„Sorrycoach.“

Xabi smiled again. God he was so perfect. So precious. And Xabi. He was feeling a little generous now.

„Good boy.“

Because Kylian had done his best. Tried his hardest.

„You tried really hard Kylian. Didn’t you?“

„Tried not to come. Tried to be good?“

Xabi kept the soothing motion of his hand against Kylian’s back going. Helping him adjust. Come back down from his high a little. Xabi’s left finger still nestled inside him.

„Yeah– triedreallyhardcoach.“

Kylian answered now. Voice a little wobbly. Still teary eyed. Apologizing now.

„Mmmsorry.“

“Nothing to be sorry for Kylian.”

“It’s just that–“ Xabi paused a little, like he was thinking.

“I’m still going to have to fuck you. Even if you already came. But you can take it right?Kylian?”

A small shudder ran through Kylian’s body.

“Since you are my good boy? You’ll take it right? My favorite, hmmm?”

“Yes. YesIcan.”

Kylian mumbled now. Mouth still pressed against the sheets

“I will– I’lltakeit. –Coach.”

He still sounded high. High on pleasure. But also determined. Determined to please. Please Xabi. Like always.

“See Kylian. That’s why you’re my favorite. You always try your hardest for me don’t you? Always eager to impress your Coach, huh?”

“Yescoach. Yoursfavorite. Always.”

Is all Kylian answered. Speech pattern still slurred. Before Xabi withdrew his hand from between Kylian’s shoulders. Getting up now. Standing again, also pulling his finger out of Kylian, who made a small sound when it left him. Apparently still needy. Still wanting. Still desperate to have something inside of himself. Again. Preferably Xabi. And not his finger this time.

And Xabi was getting to work behind Kylian now.

Stripping off his clothes. Quickly, yet organized. Setting each piece of clothing down neatly folded. Next to Kylian. At the edge of the bed. And after he had gotten rid off everything, well everything except for his socks.

He took another moment.

Looking down at Kylian now, already a little fucked-out, rim glistening with his own precum and Xabi’s spit. Thighs straining now. Still holding his position. Arms still neatly tied together with Xabi’s black leather belt. Cock dangling, a little softened now beneath him. Already spent.

All for him. All his.

His to fuck. His to pleasure.

Xabi felt himself twitch again. And he decided to let his hand fall down now. Hard. Against Kylian’s right asscheek. And a tiny moan spilled out of Kylian in response. Who at this point had forgotten his rules. And Xabi had no problem with that. None at all. Because he wanted to hear them again. And again. Kylian’s moans. So he did it once more. Slapped him again. Harder this time. Watching his ass bounce. Seeing his beautiful brown skin turn a little red. Hearing another moan spill out. Before he pulled his cheek to the side a little. To get an even better look at Kylian’s hole.

Letting his left finger probe against the entrance now. A little loose from before, yet still pretty tight. Not properly stretched yet. Xabi decided to press two fingers up against it. Resting a bit. Before he pushed them inside. Insistent. Struggling. Meeting resistance –Kylian obviously not ready to take two fingers yet without some pain being part of it– but Xabi kept going. This was part of it. It had to hurt a little bit.

“Does it hurt Kylian?”

He asked. Curious. Yet already knowing. Both fingers resting deep inside of Kylian now. Stretching him open. Kylian’s rim pulsing and clenching around him.

“Answer me.” Xabi demanded now.

Tone stern. Letting his right hand fall heavy against Kylian’s already reddening asscheek again. Kylian’s entire body shaking at the contact.

“Did it hurt Kylian? The stretch?”

Xabi asked again.

And a tiny, wobbly.

“Yes Coach.”

Was all the answer he got.

“And why does it have to hurt Kylian?”

Another question. Another beat of silence.

“Because– Cause I’mbadcoach– Reallybad.”

“Exactly Kylian.”

He was soothing Kylian’s reddened skin again, while his fingers were searching inside of him. Searching for his prostate.

“You learn so quickly. Because you want to be good right? Kylian? Good for me?”

“Yescoach. Want–tobegood. For you.”

Rushed. Slurred. Still eager.

“You better take it then.”

Was all he said.

Before he pulled out his fingers. Quick. Swift. Lining himself up with Kylian’s hole now. Still a little too tight for him. Kylian’s tight walls struggling to keep up. Stretching around him. As he pushed in. Hard. Slow. With intent.

Breaking him in again.

Too tight. Too soon. Too much. A pained moan fell out of Kylian’s mouth against the covers. Just how Xabi liked it. Beautiful. Perfect.

“So good. Kylian. So tight for me.”

But he still wanted to make something sure before he kept going.

“You’re alright Kylian? No ‘Marlene’ intervention needed?”

“No– alright. Icantakeitcoach.”

Kylian answered rushed. Still determined. Perfect for him.

And with that Xabi pulled back a little. Before he slammed back in. Hard. Fast. Building a punishing rhythm, immediately. Kylian shaking with the force of it. Struggling to keep his hips up. Cock dangling uselessly beneath him. Already spent from before. Twitching a bit. Trying to harden again.

And Kylian was fully moaning now.

Sounding a little broken. Mind gone. Stupid with it. Only pleasure and pain left. Rules forgotten. Hands twitching uselessly behind his back.

Xabi decided to grab him by the belt. By his arms, still tied together. Pulling Kylian back against himself now. To meet his own thrusts, bury himself even deeper inside of him. Kylian. Who was whining now. High. Broken. Unintelligible. Obviously overwhelmed. Still high on his last orgasm. Trying to chase another. Yet failing to. Failing to get hard again. Properly. Fully.

“Need– some help? Kylian–“

Xabi asked now.

“You want to– Come again– Right?”

He said in between thrusts.

“Always so fucking desperate.”

A beat of silence. And then.

“Ye– Yeahhh–Hgggghn–”

Another thrust.

“Helpme– Plea–“

And another.

“Pleasee Xabi.“

Xabi chuckled a little now.

Evil. Mean. Relishing in it. Kylian’s helplessness. Mind gone. Rules forgotten. Xabi’s name spilling out. He decided to take pity. Hand sliding beneath Kylian’s body again. Resting around him. Stroking again. Slowly at first, but gaining speed quickly. Helping him. Kylian. Already hardening again.

Steadily.

While Xabi was still slamming into him. Kylian. Still tight. Still hot around him. Clenching uselessly. The control he had over his own body long gone by now. Just letting Xabi happen to him. Letting him do as he pleased.

Xabi was growing close now.

Hips stuttering a bit. Switching between stroking and thumbing at Kylian’s slit as he kept going. Feeling Kylian twitch between the palm of his hand as well. Growing close.

Again. Already.

“Come– together with me. Kylian? Yeah?”

Xabi forced out now. Voice strained. Between breaths.

“Can you– can you do that?”

No answer.

And yet after a few more hurried thrusts. A few more jittery strokes of Xabi’s hand. A few more flicks of Xabi’s finger against Kylian’s slit.

They came. Both. Together. Hard. Just like Xabi had wanted.

Kylian meeting his request. So fucking perfect for him. Like always.

His Kylian. His person.

“You’re so fucking perfect Kylian.”

Xabi let out now. Sounding spent. Catching his breath now. A little exhausted. But content.

Though his mind was already clearing up a little. Focusing again.

Undoing the belt loops now. Finally freeing Kylian’s arms. While he pulled out of him, watching Kylian fall against the sheets. Heavy. Wordless. Utterly spent.

Xabi couldn’t help but let his eyes fall down for a second. Watching his own release spill out of Kylian. Kylian once again. Marked his. Before he pulled his eyes back up again. Leaning over now. Placing a small peck against Kylian’s temple now. His face still turned to the side against the sheets. Eyes still closed. Like before. Cheeks a little wet with tears and pleasure. Though now. His face was relaxed. No longer concentrated. No deep crease on his forehead. No eyebrows drawn together. He looked blissed out.

Peaceful.

“Kylian.”

Xabi whispered now. Before placing another peck against his temple.

“I’ll draw us a bath. Alright? I’ll be right back. Won’t be gone for long. Don’t worry yeah?”

He said now.

The hint of a half-nod was Kylian’s response. Impossibly quiet now. Mute.

“You were perfect Kylian.”

Another peck.

“I love you. More than anything.”

And Xabi let his thumb brush against Kylian’s nape now. Just for a moment. Circling motion. Tender.

Like their first touch. Back in Miami.

Before he let go. Determined. Walking towards the bathroom now.

Chapter Text

They were inside Xabi’s bathtub now.

Warm water flowing around them. Soothing. It smelled of almond flower petals. Because Xabi had put some bath salt into the water before they had gotten in. To make it nice. As nice as possible. For Kylian. Who now sat in front of him. Resting against him. Still vulnerable. Still a bit mute. Cracked open a little.

Yet content.

Even breaths leaving his nose as he leaned back against him. His eyes closed. The dim light of the bathroom painting long shadows across his cheeks beneath his pretty eyelashes. Xabi had cleaned him beforehand. Strong hands soaping up his back. His front. Strong, yet soothing. Like a massage. Helping Kylian muscles relax. Sore from holding back. Staying still. From restraint. Helping Kylian to let his mind drift a little as he had let his hands trace across his beautiful skin. It was glistening now. Clean. Fresh. Warm. Water droplets running down his sides. Like glitter. Under the soft light of Xabi’s bathroom.

Xabi placed another small kiss against Kylian’s temple. And another. Like he had done probably a million times since ‘punishment’ had finished. Since they had entered the bathtub. Between movements. Like a prayer. Like reassurance.

“I love you Kylian.” He said now. Again.

A whisper. Quietly. Directly against the shell of Kylian’s ear. He added another kiss to Kylian’s temple. For good measure. A small peck. Tender. Soft.

Kylian was smiling now. Eyes closed. Letting it sink into him. Xabi’s confession. And then he tried. Tried speaking again for the first time since they had entered the bathtub. Since his so-called ‘punishment’ had been completed. Testing now. Trying it out. Whether his voice still worked.

“I–“ Kylian’s voice came out a little wobbly. Croaky.

“Me too– I love you too.” He added quickly. He still sounded small. Skittish. Vulnerable.

Xabi placed another kiss against his temple. Like a soothing mechanism. Before Kylian tried again. To speak.

“I- uhh.”

Is all Kylian got out, before a tear started rolling down his cheek. Crying now. Still raw. Raw with vulnerability. Xabi closed his arms tighter around him. Using his thumb to brush Kylian’s tear away immediately.

“What’s wrong hmmm? Kylian? Please don’t cry, huh?”

Xabi’s hands were soothing up and down Kylian’s shoulders now as he held him tight from behind. He was asking him to stop. Hoping he was alright. Begging quietly. Like a prayer. A whisper.

“Don’t cry baby. Please don’t cry. Hmmm?”

“Nothing– I– Nothing’s wrong I–“ Kylian wobbled out now.

More tears falling. Unable to help himself. He pulled through though. Determined to finish it now. Finally. Finish his sentence. The one he wanted to get out. Despite it all. Voice still small.

“I just– I’ve never done this before– I– Been with someone like THAT– In bed I mean?”

Kylian paused.

“Like that. Vulnerable. Uh–“

It seemed like he was struggling a little for words, but he continued.

“Submissive? I’m usually not like that you know. I like having control a little–“

Is what he got out.

“Okay?”

Xabi started thinking now. He had thought Kylian had agreed to this. That this arrangement, their arrangement, their assigned roles? Had been agreed on. Mutually.

“Kylian if you felt uncomfortable you could’ve told–“

Kylian cut in now. Quick, hurried. Tears still wet against his cheeks.

“I wasn’t! No! Don’t worry Xabi! Please! I wasn’t uncomfortable.”

He rushed it out. Before adding quietly. A little shy.

“I liked it. A lot. It was– it was really hot.”

Kylian let out the tiniest chuckle now. It soothed Xabi immensely. Calm returning into his body.

“It’s just. Usually I’m not that– like that– in bed. Like I am with you., because–”

Kylian stopped and looked up a little at Xabi now. Letting his head fall back against his chest.

“I just trust you a lot Xabi.”

It came out like a request and a confession at the same time. A silent question. To please. Respect it. That trust. Not abuse it. To treasure it.

Like the gift it was.

Xabi looked into Kylian’s big eyes now. Like two black oceans in the night. Entire worlds hiding beneath the surface. Ready to be explored. He placed a peck against Kylian’s forehead now. Before he wiped away the last of Kylian’s tears that had started to dry against his cheeks again.

“I know Kylian. I would never take it for granted. Believe me. I trust you too. More than anything. We can trust each other, yeah?”

His voice came out warm. Soothing. Light. Kylian was nodding along now. Letting Xabi’s words sink into him. Like he was still a little scared to speak. But there was something more on his mind. Something he had to get out. Xabi could tell. Kylian started again.

“Usually I– I usually have trouble trusting people, you know. A lot of people aren’t really genuine– well with me at least.”

He said it quietly. Like a secret.

A small glimpse for Xabi behind Kylian’s impenetrable fortress. His fassade. And Xabi’s heart broke a little. He hated it. Hated it that his Kylian was so used to being treated like an accessory. Like something to wear as long as it looked pretty, ready to be thrown out as soon as something more new, more shiny came along.

His Kylian shouldn’t have to worry about people being disingenuous.

No. His spirit should be careless and free. Like he actually was, at his core. Like Xabi knew him to be. And yet the world had trained him to be careful, to tread lightly. To be wary. To be suspicious. Of everyone. Of everything. Always cautious. Always ready to be thrown out. Always ready to be discarded. And to wear a smile while it happened, to brush past it, like it was nothing. Like it didn’t hurt him. Whenever another person he had trusted had thrown him out. Thrown him away. Like he was a collectible. Like he wasn’t an actual person.

Xabi held him tighter now. Impossibly tight.

“I’d never hurt you Kylian. Never on purpose.”

He said now. Determined.

“I hope you know that. You can trust me okay? Really. I’d lose my fucking job before ever losing you. I need you more than you could ever imagine.”

And he meant it. Kylian was the best thing that had ever happened to him. And a lot of good things had happened to him in his life. Yet none of them had made him feel like this. So real. So present. So alive. So seen and heard. So in the moment. Xabi wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.

“Alright old man. Don’t go that far now. I still want us to keep our jobs.”

Kylian chuckled a little now. Xabi felt his body rocking lightly against his chest while he did. And then Kylian looked up again at him. Smiling now. Eyes twinkling. Relaxed. Tears gone now. The wobble inside his voice having disappeared.

“Thank you.” He said simply.

And he didn’t need to say more. Xabi understood. Because he felt the same way.

Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for seeing me. Thank you for taking me as I am. Thank you for not questioning me. Thank you for being with me despite everything. Despite all the hurdles.

“Nothing to thank me for Kylian.”

Xabi said now. Winking. Before placing another peck against his forehead and adding.

“I’ll always be there. With you. Whatever happens. Trust me.”

Chapter Text

After washing up and bathing they had ordered Pizza. Delivery. And now they were sat on the living room floor, between moving cartons, one of them serving as a makeshift table between them, open pizza cartons balanced on top. They had ordered two pizzas. Margarita and Salami Fungi. But they were sharing. And since the floor was little uncomfortable they had taken some pillows from Xabi‘s bedroom to sit on top of. So that’s where they were now. Munching on Pizza. Mostly in silence. Like a small picnic in the middle of Xabi‘s empty living room as the late hours of the night were threatening to creep in.

Kylian liked this. Them.

He liked everything. He liked the silence. Comfortable. Warm. He liked Xabi looking a bit tired. Messy. Handsome. Undone. Hair a bit tussled after the bath they‘d taken. Not caring enough to get it into shape afterwards. Because he didn’t need to look put-together for Kylian. Because he trusted Kylian enough to let himself exist without thinking. A bit of warmth filled Kylian’s chest at the thought. He took another big bite.

Trust.

He let the word sink into him a bit as he chewed. Looking at Xabi, who was currently using his mouth to try and stop a long string of cheese from falling to the ground. It was quite a funny sight. Kylian felt himself smiling.

He really trusted him. Xabi. He did.

It was honestly a little scary. The feeling. Trust. Kylian wasn’t used to it. Especially with someone that wasn’t part of his family. Or someone that hadn’t known him from before. Before Kylian had become KYLIAN MBAPPÉ. But at the same time. It felt immensely freeing. Trusting someone like this. Trusting Xabi like this. He had struggled to feel this way in a lot of his previous relationships. So opened up. Vulnerable.

What they shared now. Their thing. It was real. True. True closeness. True intimacy. True commitment and true sacrifice.

Right now. Sitting on the floor of Xabi’s empty apartment. Watching Xabi devour his pizza, bit by bit. A few crumbs of crust having caught within the stubble of his beard. Kylian felt like he could reveal anything to him. And he knew Xabi wouldn’t walk.

He trusted that he wouldn’t.

And he had tried. Earlier in the bathtub. To open up a little. Repay Xabi‘s trust and dedication with a piece of himself. It wasn’t much. But he had wanted to show him. That he was willing. For him. For Xabi. To let his guard down. To talk to him. About his fears. What weighed him down. Because he knew Xabi wanted him to. To be open with him. And he knew Xabi would listen.

Whatever it was.

With time. Kylian thought now.

Because it was hard for him. Because he himself didn’t even like to admit he had any fears. Any worries. Any sorrows.

No. He was strong. He always had been strong. And he always would be strong.

And that wasn‘t a lie either. It was the truth.

Kylian wouldn’t let the world put him down. Never. He wouldn’t give people that satisfaction. He was too petty for that. But. It wasn’t like he was a robot either. He had feelings too. And sometimes it got to him. Everything. The press. The exposure. The lack of privacy. The way every person close to him became a victim of it too. Opened up to the viciousness of the media and the internet. The same vile hatred aimed at him rubbing off on everyone he got close to. All of it. It could get a bit much at times–

„Why do you do that?“

Xabi interrupted Kylian’s train of thought now. Tone light. A question.

„Do what?“

Xabi pointed at the slice of pizza Kylian was holding now. Balanced on top of three long outstretched fingers. Kylian didn’t understand.

„Your pizza? You eat it the wrong way round.“

Xabi said now. Matter-of-factly.

„There is a right way round?“ Kylian giggled now.

Xabi raised his eyebrows in response now. Looking baffled. Amused.

„Yes there is! Of course there is.“ Xabi was laughing now.

„Bullshit!“ Kylian giggled again.

This was stupid. No way. As if there was some manual on how to eat pizza the right way.

„Kylian, every single person I ever met in my entire life holds their pizza slices by the crust and starts eating it from the other end.“

„Okay?!“

Kylian sounded a little offended now. Though there was no real vice behind it.

„You eat the crust first Kylian?! That’s just– why?“

Xabi was laughing again. He looked. Really relaxed. Happy.

„I don’t know Xabi. I don’t think about it.“

Kylian was muttering now. No way this was such a big deal to Xabi.

„But it’s way more complicated like that.”

Xabi continued now.

“Do you not get sauce on your hands and stuff?“

He was looking at him now. Questioningly. Honestly curious.

„I think you think about my pizza eating habits too much.“

Xabi laughed at that.

„Well maybe. Or maybe you make everything extra hard for yourself. Huh, Kylian?“

Xabi shot him a wink now.

This was stupid. He was not going to justify his way of eating pizza to Xabi. But he knew it was already too late. Now he’d have think about it every time. Self-conscious. No longer oblivious to his anti-norm eating habits. He was starting to feel a little petty.

So.

„I make you extra-hard.“ Was Kylian’s retort.

Honestly it was a stupid answer. A dumb joke. Nonsensical. Below the belt. And yet.

Xabi burst out laughing.

A smile crept onto Kylian’s face at that. He had made Xabi laugh and Kylian, he loved making him laugh. More than anything. Xabi caught himself a bit.

„Well. Point taken Kylian.“

A wink.

“Maybe you making things extra-hard is a good thing after all, huh?”

Xabi was smiling now. Happy. Relaxed. True.

“Mhm! Exactly. So maybe stop questioning me!”

Xabi laughed again at that. Earthy. Warm.

Yes.

Kylian really liked this. Them.

And with that their comfortable silence returned while they ate. This was nice. Domestic. Kylian wanted to be inside this moment forever. Just here. With Xabi. They didn’t need much. No furniture. No one else. Just a few slices of Pizza. Just a floor to sit on top of and a place to be in, to exist alongside each other.

That was enough. That would be enough. Them. Their thing. Nothing else.

Chapter Text

Training was back.

FINALLY. Kylian was immensely happy about it. He always missed it. Football. During the summer breaks. Playing. Training. Even after all these years. It was still his thing. The thing that brought him the most joy. But also. Now. There was another reason he was happy with training returning.

Xabi.

Seeing him. Regularly again. Without sneaking around. Without complicated organized meetings in hotel rooms. Without sneaking into Xabi’s new apartment. Or paying his driver extra to keep quiet. Just seeing him. Almost everyday. Without having to plan for it. It was so NICE.

Motivating.

Kylian couldn’t help it. He wanted to impress him. Everyday. His COACH. He had always been eager to please when it came to his coaches, but now. With Xabi. Of course, there was a little bit more to it. He wanted to be good. IMPRESSIVE. THE BEST. He wanted to be rewarded for his efforts. On and off the pitch. It filled Kylian with a weird sense of adrenaline. Having Xabi watch him during training. Critical eyes. Observing him. Evaluating his performance.

It made him feel hot all over.

But in a good way. Kylian could feel it. How he was improving. His performance. Everyday. With every session. Because honestly, Kylian always tended to perform a little better. Whenever he was a bit riled up.

Kylian hit the ball now.

With his right foot. With precision. They were practicing free-kicks. And he had aimed it. PERFECTLY. At the top left corner. Flying over the wall of players blocking the goal. Past Lunin, who had no chance of reaching it. It shattered against the inner side of the crossbar in the top corner, bouncing down now, just behind the goal line.

A perfect shot.

Kylian could hear someone behind him whistling in appreciation. Probably Cama. And now he was walking slowly. Making his way past Xabi. Raising his eyebrow. A little cocky. Smug.

“Did you like that one coach? Nice shot?” He asked. Light. Like it was nothing. Non-chalant.

Looking at Xabi as he walked. Eyes twinkling. Searching for a compliment. Just a small one. A small reward.

“Yes Kylian. Very good.”

Xabi patted his shoulder a bit as he walked past him. A little rough. Collegial. To not raise any suspicions. Already looking at the next player lining up to shoot.

“Very IMPRESSIVE.” Xabi added quietly.

Kylian having just walked past him. Making his way back to the end of the line of players waiting for their turn. But he could feel it. Kylian. Low in his gut. Hot and aching. NEED.

‘Impressive.’

He had impressed him. Impressed Xabi. He wanted to do it again. HE NEEDED TO DO IT AGAIN. Do it even better next time. More Impressive. More GOOD. BETTER. For him. Impress him even more.

“You’re quite the teacher’s pet aren’t ya?”

It came from behind him. Pulling Kylian out of his haze. Interrupting his train of thoughts. Kylian’s head shot around.

It was Trent.

Behind him now. Kylian had completely missed Trent’s attempt on goal. Too busy thinking. Mind occupied with wanting Xabi too much.

Kylian calibrated a little. Quizzical look on his face.

“What do you mean?” He asked easily.

Kylian didn’t really know yet. What to make of Trent. He hadn’t been with the team for very long. And he had been pretty fixated on Jude for the first few weeks, since they were already close. Playing together in the national team. But now Jude was out. After his shoulder surgery. Trent had to mix a bit more now. With the entire team.

“Just ya know. Xabi isn’t really a compliments kinda guy I feel? He usually looks at everyone’s weak spots more than their positive attributes.”

Trent laughed now. Light, friendly.

“Just to improve us of course.” He added.

“But he keeps complimenting you!”

Trent finished. Adding a small wink. Encouraging. Like an extension of Xabi’s compliment.

Kylian chuckled now. A bit embarrassed. But feeling VERY happy. On the inside.

“Well I keep asking him for compliments directly, he can’t really ignore me when I’m obviously fishing for them.”

Kylian smiled a bit smug now.

“You should try it!” He added.

“Nahhh mate. I’m not as brave. Not sure that would work for me anyways, ya know.”

Trent chuckled a little now. As they settled back into line. Waiting on their turn again.

Kylian liked this.

A LOT. Liked that someone had noticed it. Just a bit. That Xabi treated him a little differently from everyone else. Special. His favorite. His player. He wanted everyone to see it. To make it known. He felt a bit of warmth swelling inside his chest. Pride. Settling into him. Warm. Soothing.

Kylian looked at Xabi again. Still standing in his spot. Concentrated. Observant. Giving pointers to the other players. Giving directions. Assertive. Doing his job. So PROFESSIONAL. God. He was so hot like this. In coach mode. Like REALLY HOT. Kylian couldn’t wait until it was his turn again. Until Xabi’s eyes were on him again.

And no one else.

Kylian jumped a little in his spot. Keeping himself warm. Hot. Ready to go again. To please him again. To IMPRESS him again. Maybe get a reward later tonight. Maybe get another compliment. Establish his spot in front of the team. Xabi’s favorite.

For everyone to see.

Chapter Text

Xabi was stressed.

Immensely stressed. Training and the preparation for the new season had come around faster than anticipated. The kids were already back at home from their grandparents. At the house. Her house. They hadn’t really explained Xabi’s absence to them. Not yet. The new apartment. Everything.

Though. Sadly.

His kids were already pretty used to Xabi being absent without explanation. They probably thought it was because of work. Him and his wife –soon-ex-wife– had planned to tell them next week. Next Friday. Xabi was not looking forward to it. Well he was. But also not.

He just wanted it to be over with.

But he was scared as well. That they wouldn’t take it well. That they’d blame him. That a rift would happen and if it did, that they’d automatically side with her. Because well. Xabi was the absent father. She was their loving mom and she was always there.

It will all work out. Xabi kept telling himself. Self-soothing.

Because he knew his soon-to-be-ex-wife also didn’t want Xabi to fall out of their kid’s lives. They were on decent terms.

Well at least for now.

Everything still seemed so precarious and fragile. Right now things might seem fine, but Xabi didn’t want to misstep and mess everything up right before the divorce went through. He had already singed most of the paperwork. Still waiting on his wife to do the same, she wanted to look it over with her lawyers once more.

And on top of it all.

Kylian was also stressing him out a little. Well not just a little. Xabi was kind of losing his mind. Because Kylian was hell bent on trying to shift his focus.

Especially during training.

Or maybe Kylian was just where Xabi’s attention shifted naturally these days. But– It really seemed like he was trying to draw all of Xabi’s attention towards himself on purpose.

Which normally, cute. Very Kylian.

Attention grabbing. Loud. A little bold. A little flirtatious.

But right now Xabi was already struggling to keep everything together. The distraction was not needed.

Because the short pre-season HAD TO go well. The divorce HAD TO go well. The talk with his kids breaking the news HAD TO go well. And seemingly everything was happening at the same time. And in the meantime Kylian was being VERY clingy. Constantly texting. Checking in.

Which normally, cute. Very Kylian.

A little needy. A little selfish. In need of reassurance and attention.

But Xabi was struggling to give him the attention and care he wanted to right now. Which just added to his stress even more.

He didn’t like not matching Kylian’s needs.

But he was dreading properly engaging with him right now. Entertaining his antics. Because he was stressed out. But also because over the course of the last week Xabi had come to the conclusion that he had to have a serious talk with him. Kylian. About his behavior in training. Since Xabi was getting a little paranoid.

Kylian was being VERY OBVIOUS.

At least Xabi felt like he was.

One training session he had just openly winked at Xabi. IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Xabi had been taken aback a bit. Were they not both supposed to know what’s at stake here? Kylian was being so risky. Then again. Kylian –much to Xabi’s dismay at times– was a natural flirt. Really his behavior probably didn’t seem that unusual to his teammates.

Xabi was stressed though.

About approaching Kylian with the topic. Telling him to tone it down a bit – at least during training. He had a strong feeling that Kylian wouldn’t take it well. ESPECIALLY with the lack of time outside of training they were managing to spent together right now. ESPECIALLY with the lack of attention Xabi was giving him currently. Kylian was getting impatient. Xabi could tell. Kylian wanted to meet up again. SOON.

Xabi drew a hand across his face.

Sighing now. He was at his lawyers office. To go over the divorce papers again and check the demands his wife had already sent over.

And now his lawyer was letting him wait.

Still occupied with another client. Like he wasn’t wasting Xabi’s time. Like Xabi didn’t have other things to do right now. Hell. He still had to buy most of the furniture for his new apartment. He couldn’t even really unpack right now without shelves to put his stuff onto.

And Kylian kept writing him. Even now. Even while Xabi was waiting. Just constantly.

Texting. Asking. How he was feeling. How things were going. With the divorce. With Xabi’s children. The apartment. Furniture. If he could be of any help.

IT WAS ALL TOO MUCH.

Xabi could feel himself shutting down. Shutting him out a bit. Which he knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help himself. Everything was just TOO MUCH right now.

And Xabi, he was a problem solver. Usually. He could solve stuff on his own. He was responsible. Organized. He didn’t want help. He didn’t want to burden Kylian.

He never wanted to burden Kylian.

But deep down he knew. He knew that this wasn’t the way to go about it. Shutting him out. Because their thing was still precarious. Xabi’s wife was still Xabi’s wife. Not his ex-wife yet. Kylian probably needed reassurance right now. That everything would turn out alright.

That everything would be fine.

But Xabi was giving him anything but that. Which he hated. Though he was too stressed out though to fix his behavior. Even worse. Yesterday at training he had even snapped at him. Kylian. Agitated a little.

Because.

Well it was the same issue. Kylian’s boldness. Kylian’s flirtatiousness. What he already wanted to talk to Kylian about.

But yesterday.

That boldness. That flirtatiousness. Had been aimed at someone else. Several people actually. Like he was giving out candy for free. Throwing himself onto his teammates, laughing way to loud. Speech full of inappropriateness and innuendo.

Xabi had NOT appreciated it.

Not at all. Though it was probably harmless. Typical Kylian. Overly touchy. Smirking, smiling. Winking at everyone.

But within Xabi’s current state of mind he had a feeling that Kylian had done it on purpose.

To taunt him. To get to him. Because Kylian could be petty and Xabi knew he had neglected their thing a little bit for the past few days. Maybe this was Kylian’s unsubtle way of lashing out.

He really needed to talk to him soon.

Properly. But he just wanted everything to be over and done with first. Step by step. Not chaotic. Not disorganized.

Kylian would have to wait a little bit. At least for now. Xabi would do everything right. On his own. Explain it to Kylian after. Hopefully he’d understand.

Well he would have to understand.

Xabi only liked presenting fixed issues to Kylian. He didn’t want to worry him. Put stuff on him. Scared Kylian would feel guilty. No for Kylian everything should look easy. Xabi’s divorce, the kids, the apartment.

Everything.

Xabi wanted to have everything under control. For Kylian. So Kylian wouldn’t have to think. So he wouldn’t have to worry.

Kylian would just have to understand that.

Xabi would make him understand.

Chapter Text

Kylian was trying not to be bothered. He really was. He was calling his mom like he wasn’t bothered. He was calling his dad like he wasn’t bothered. He was texting his brother like he wasn’t bothered. He was texting friends like he wasn’t bothered. Playing fifa like he wasn’t bothered. Ordering takeout like he wasn’t bothered. He had even started to read Xabi’s stupid book. Xabi’s stupid gift. Pink and cheap. Marlene’s story. Like he wasn’t bothered. He told himself that he wasn’t bothered over and over, that he wasn’t growing frustrated. But it was useless. HE WAS BOTHERED.

HE FELT USELESS.

He had been so happy about training returning. About seeing Xabi more. Regularly. But now. After a few sessions. Xabi barely paid him any attention. Always occupied with some other player. His eyes avoiding Kylian more and more. With every training session.

It was childish but Kylian had even started to cling to his teammates, flirting a little, always in Xabi’s line of vision. Because that seemingly was the only way to get some attention from him right now. Get a reaction out of him. To show that he still cared about Kylian. And Kylian had felt stupid afterwards. Petty. After Xabi had snapped at him. Told him to stop distracting his teammates.

Of course Xabi still cared. Stupid.

He was probably just stressed out.

But Kylian just wanted Xabi to let him in. Because he had NO IDEA what Xabi’s state of off mind was right now. His state of affairs. No idea how far along the divorce was. No idea if he had even told his kids yet. Maybe he needed help getting settled into his new place as well.

Kylian just wanted to help. He just wanted to know. God he felt stupid. Texting Xabi over and over. The same questions every time.

* Have you told your kids yet?

Maybe it hadn’t gone well.

* You can tell me if it didn’t go well ❤️
* You know I’m always here
* How far along is the divorce?
* Has she changed her mind?
* You can tell me Xabi okay? ❤️
* I love you 💕

And then a little later.

* if you need any help shopping for furniture I could browse for you?
* send you some recommendations
* I know you have a lot going on ❤️

But Xabi was avoiding him. Answering him. But in a way that didn’t answer anything.

* You know I’m always here
— Of course I know that Kylian ❤️

* You can tell me Xabi okay? ❤️
— Don’t worry too much, it’s all fine!

* I love you 💕
— I love you more Kylian! ❤️

* if you need any help shopping for furniture I could browse for you?
— It’s fine, you don’t have to do anything!

* I know you have a lot going on ❤️
— I can manage

Great. Just great.

Apparently all Kylian could do for Xabi right now was sit at home and feel completely useless.

He hated it.

Did Xabi think he couldn’t handle it if something bad had happened?

“I’m not a fucking child–“

Kylian muttered to himself.

They were partners. They should be in this together. And yet. Kylian saw Xabi day after day in training and just had to watch him look more and more stressed out every time. And all his efforts to help were in vain. And even worse.

HE MISSED HIM.

It was unbearable. Especially after last time. The sex. Amazing. The bath. Intimate. The pizza afterwards. Comfortable, like home. Kylian had felt so warm. So open. So trusting. He had felt ready to tell Xabi everything. Give himself over. Share all of him. And he still was. He wanted to.

But he felt useless now.

Because it looked like Xabi wasn’t ready to do the same? He WASN’T letting Kylian in. Not properly. He wanted Kylian to be vulnerable with him. But he didn’t want to look vulnerable himself. Which Kylian hated. Kylian could carry some of Xabi’s burden too. He was ready. He wanted to. Kylian was NOT FRAGILE. Never had been.

And yet. Xabi didn’t want Kylian to help him. He wasn’t letting him help. Xabi always wanted to do everything by himself. To shield Kylian. Protect him. Which was a sweet thought. One of the reasons Kylian loved Xabi. So strong, so caring about others, especially when it came to Kylian. It made Kylian feel special. Cared for. Appreciated.

But right now.

Xabi’s urge to protect had just driven them further apart. Just when they had gotten so close. SO INTIMATE. So true. Kylian didn’t care if things were messed up. He didn’t. So what if something was up with the divorce or the kids or anything else. They would make it together. They could do anything together.

Xabi just had to let him know. LET HIM IN.

And Kylian would be there. Whatever happened.

Which is why. Kylian had decided to talk to Xabi. Before their friendly in Innsbruck. He’d go to him. His hotel room. Just like he used to do. In Florida. Because who could stop him.

They had to talk in person. No more texting. No more rushed calls.

The lack of closeness for the past few days was driving Kylian NUTS. He had to fix it!

He had to. And he would.

Chapter Text

Xabi was engulfed in his work.

Going through possible lineups and strategies for tomorrow’s friendly against WSG Tirol. He was sat at a small desk inside his hotel room, near the window. Beautiful view of the mountainous landscape outside. It was a sight to behold. The evening sun setting beautifully across the mountain-tops. The days already getting a little shorter again. The latter half of the summer announcing itself. But he wasn’t really focused on that right now. No his mind was occupied. With work.

It would be a test game.

To try a lot of things. Different combinations. He’d make a lot of substitutions, get a good look at how everyone was fairing after their summer-break. Their fitness levels. In an actual game. Not training. Not behind closed doors. Especially players like Rüdiger or Militau. Players that hadn’t been back from injury for very long or were just returning. Also his two new signings. Carreras and Mastantuono. Xabi had already gotten a good look at Huijsen and Trent during the Club World Cup, but he was curious as to how the other two would settle in. Especially Mastantuono, he was only 17 having come over from the other side of the glob–

There was small a knock at the door that shook him out of his thoughts.

The specific pattern of the knock. Immediately recognizable to Xabi. He knew it as if it was his own heartbeat. He had heard it every night back in Miami. Kylian. Knocking carefully at his door. Wanting to be let in. An involuntary smile crept onto Xabi’s face as he went over to open the door for him. A feeling of nostalgia. For something that wasn’t even that long ago. But Xabi cherished it. Their Miami. It held all their firsts. Their start. Their beginning. And interrupting his work to go over and open his hotel room door for Kylian now. It felt a little like deja vu. He couldn’t help but feel tender-hearted.

He opened the door.

And there he stood. Just like always. Like back in Miami. Bright, smiling. Dimples creased deep. Eyes beaming with mischief. He looked amused. Like he was also fond with memory. With the repetition of their old pattern.

“Can I come in?” He asked now.

Too formal.

Also amused. Because they both knew. At this point in time. With their current state of relationship, despite their distance for the past few days, there was no possible scenario where Xabi wouldn’t let him into his room.

“Hmmmm. Kylian. I don’t know. I’m busy with work right now.” Xabi joked.

And Kylian giggled as he let himself into Xabi’s room. Looking around now, taking in the space. Spotting Xabi’s work desk at the window. Walking over there now as Xabi closed the door and followed shortly behind him.

“You’re busy.”

Kylian said like a statement. Stopping at Xabi’s desk now. Seeing different possible lineups opened up on his iPad and Laptop screens.

“Yeah, Kylian. I’m busy.”

Xabi answered amused. Still walking over. Kylian turned his head towards him now. Quizzical look on his face. Calculating. Earnest.

“I don’t want to distract you.” He said honestly.

And Xabi had arrived. Where Kylian stood. Wrapping his arms around him from behind now. Tightly. A little possessive. Because he had missed him. Missed this. Touching him. Taking in his presence. Without hesitation.

“That’s too bad Kylian. You’re always quite the distraction.”

Xabi answered now in a whisper. Hot breath against Kylian neck as he wrapped himself around him. Holding him tightly. A small giggle had fallen out of Kylian at Xabi’s reply, body rocking against him slightly. The giggle – Xabi’s favorite sound. Soothing. And Xabi. He was breathing him in now. His scent. Fresh. He smelled like a shower and a hint of perfume. Clean. Ready for him. Always perfect. Always ready to–

Xabi innerly groaned.

He actually shouldn’t get distracted right now. Because he ACTUALLY was busy. Hadn’t settled on a fixed starting lineup for tomorrow. Xabi pushed Kylian away from himself a little bit. Like an addict. Like he was pulling off a nicotine plaster. Addicted to the contact. Trying to get rid of it.

“Guess I’ll just have to deal
with being a little distracted by you, huh?”

Xabi said now. Exasperated, yet fond. As he turned Kylian around to face him. Both his palms settling on Kylian’s shoulders now as he stared at him.

“Yeahhh. I guess so Coach.”

Kylian answered with a wink. Tone teasing. Sultry. Batting his eyelashes a bit. Flirtatious. Heavy with implication. Not fair at all. And if Xabi was any less of the professional that he was when it came to his work, he might have fallen for it. Kylian’s bait.

Xabi let go of Kylian’s shoulders now, who was still looking up at him. Who was smirking slightly. His dark eyes twinkling. Electric. And Xabi stared back for a moment. Tension crackling between them. Before he let out a sigh.

“Kylian, I actually have to get this done.”

He was sounding apologetic now. Because they both knew they’d rather be doing anything else. Anything that was together. Not separate. Because they had missed each other. Despite seeing each other every day. But Kylian reacted quickly. Nodding now. Breaking out of it a little. The tension. Understanding.

“It’s fine Xabi. I’ll keep myself busy while you work. We always have later.”

He said. Lighthearted. Playful.

“Don’t get too busy without me Kylian.”

Xabi answered now. Shooting Kylian a wink. Tone a little heavy. Like a threat. A little wanting.

Kylian laughed at that. Eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“Oh my god. What is that supposed to imply? Huh? Get your mind out of the gutter old man. I meant like playing a game on my phone or reading or something–“

“Yeah sure Kylian. And you can do that. But I know how my boy really likes to get busy–“

Xabi answered now. Tone dark. A playful accusation. And it landed how he wanted it to. Because Kylian’s cheeks were coating a little pink now. So pretty. Xabi loved it. Kylian looked a bit baffled. Caught off guard.

“What– what are you saying?” Kylian asked now.

“Just– I know how high-libido you are Kylian. You probably jerk off all the time, hmmm?”

Xabi raised his brows now. Comfortable. Still playful. Because this was his favorite. Tipping Kylian a bit off guard. Kylian who was red in the face now.

“I–“ Kylian said now. A bit at a loss for words.

“I don’t have a problem with it Kylian. Actually I think about it quite a bit.”

Xabi leaned in a bit more. Dangerous. But he couldn’t help himself.

“I’d love to see it sometime actually, if you don’t mind. How you touch yourself, hmmm? Bet it’s a pretty sight.”

He leaned back now. Smug. Seeing Kylian’s red face. His mouth parted slightly in astonishment as he stared back at Xabi.

“But now–“

He sighed. Stretching a little.

“Now I actually have to get back to work.”

“But you can keep yourself busy. However you’d like Kylian.”

He shot him another wink.

“I hate you.” Kylian deadpanned now.

Still a little embarrassed, but also amused.

“Sure Kylian. Sure you do.”

Xabi patted his shoulder now. Lightly. Before he pushed Kylian away. Into the room away from his desk. Kylian giggled a little at that.

“Oh and Kylian. You can stay here tonight. Sleep here I mean. Just in case you were wonderi–“

“I wasn’t wondering.”

Kylian cut in quick. Fake-annoyed. Shaking his head a bit as he walked into the direction of Xabi’s hotel bed.

“Let’s talk later, yeah Xabi? I want to talk to you about some things.”

Was the last thing Kylian said before he settled into Xabi’s comfortable bed. Scrolling his phone now.

Talk later? Talk about some things?

It settled uncomfortably in Xabi’s stomach as he kept working. He didn’t want to talk right now. He just wanted to kiss Kylian silly and make him stop asking so many questions until he had brought everything under control. But Xabi had known that his avoidant strategy would run out of legs at some point. And now Kylian wanted to talk.

Which meant Xabi would also have to talk. What he had wanted to talk to Kylian about. Training. The flirting. Toning it down.

Oh no.

Chapter Text

Kylian had drifted asleep at some point, scrolling his phone tucked beneath the soft hotel bedsheets. The sound of Xabi working quietly a soothing lullaby in his ears. But now it was late and Xabi was settling into bed behind him. It was waking him up again from his slumber. Xabi wrapping himself around him from behind. Placing a quiet kiss against his nape.

Kylian shuddered a little. Ticklish. And Xabi stopped in his tracks.

“Did I wake you?” He whispered.

“Mhm.” Kylian nodded. Smiling into the pillow now.

GOD. HE HAD MISSED HIM. XABI. SO MUCH.

Kylian opened his eyes now. Turning his head a little in Xabi’s direction to look him in the eye.

“I missed you Xabi.”

He whispered now. Earnest. True.

“I missed this.”

Xabi answered, smiling. Brushing his nose slightly against Kylian’s now. Almost like an eskimo kiss.

“Yeah?”

Kylian was grinning now.

“I missed you staying the night.”

Xabi clarified further.

And Kylian understood. They hadn’t slept in the same bed since Miami. Kylian always had to leave at some point. Back to his house. Explaining overnight stays to all his staff was just too much of a hustle. Back in Miami they had slept tangled up every night. Xabi’s strong arms around him, his face buried inside Kylian’s neck. Kylian had missed it too.

A LOT.

Xabi’s hands were wandering a little now. Up and down Kylian’s body. Soothing, but also a little suggestive. His right hand resting against the side of Kylian’s thigh now, thumb brushing across the skin there, since Kylian’s shorts had ridden up a little. Kylian had to focus. He still wanted to talk.

“Xabi?”

“Yeah?”

Xabi was smirking against him now. The side of his neck. Grip on his leg turning a little
tighter. More possessive. Placing another kiss against him. A bit more teeth, scraping against the soft skin of Kylian’s nape. Pressing up against Kylian from behind now. His intentions obvious.

FOCUS.

Kylian’s mind was screaming at him now. He appreciated Xabi’s advances, because of course he did, but he also hated him a little for it. Because he knew what he was doing. Xabi was trying to make him forget that he had wanted to talk. In the best way possible, but still. Not nice. Unfair. Knowing all of Kylian’s weak spots.

“Xabi.”

He started again.

Kylian had tried to let it sound like a threat, to scare him off, but it came off weak. His right hand was resting lightly on top of Xabi’s hand now. To stop him a little. It was no use though. Xabi kept going.

“Hmmm?”

His hand wandered over to Kylian’s stomach now. Circling his lower abdomen. Kylian’s hand following uselessly on top of his. Another kiss against his neck. A whisper.

“I love you Kylian.”

And now Xabi’s hand was threatening to wander beneath his shorts. Kylian had to stop him. He didn’t want to. But he had to. Because they needed to talk. Tonight. Otherwise it might be another week. Of not knowing. Of feeling useless. Of vague texts and avoidance in training.

Kylian’s hand grabbed Xabi’s now. Strongly. No more room for discussion. The tips of Xabi’s fingers already having made their way beneath the hem of Kylian’s shorts.

“Xabi, I wanted to talk.”

Kylian said now.

Trying his best to sound determined. And he thought he did a decent enough job at sounding convincing. Xabi groaned now, behind him. A little inconvenienced, but also like he was accepting his fate. That this was happening. That they HAD TO talk. So Xabi was pulling his hand back now. Resting lightly on Kylian’s side. A bit more safe.

“Really Kylian?”

He asked. No real fight left. Xabi seemed to know that he wasn’t getting out of this.

“Yes really!”

It was final.

Kylian turned around properly now. Facing him. Eyes boring into Xabi’s now. Xabi looked scared. Insecure. Kylian didn’t understand why. Xabi had nothing to be scared of here. It was just them.

“What is it Kylian?”

Xabi asked now. Careful. Like he was dreading it. And Kylian drew in a breath. Getting ready. Preparing his mind. He knew what he wanted to say. But it was still hard. He was worried Xabi might find a loophole, wind himself out of it again.

“I- just. I’m worried. About you. I mean–“

Xabi immediately interrupted him.

“Please don’t worry Kylian.”

GOD. He was so stubborn when it came to this. Like Kylian’s worry had no right to exist inside his world.

“But I DO WORRY. I worry Xabi! Okay?! I’m not a fucking robot! I can’t just act like I don’t see it when you’re stressed out!”

“Okay–”

Xabi’s head fell a little. Kylian interrupted him.

“You don’t talk to me!”

Xabi didn’t answer. So Kylian started again.

“I just– I feel like you’re losing yourself right now. A little. With everything. It’s all so much. I just want to help ou–“

“It’s all under control Kylian!”

Xabi snapped a little. Agitated. Like he hated the thought itself. That he –Xabi Alonso– was capable of not having everything under control.

“Oh yeah? Is it?”

Kylian asked now. A little mean. Because how could someone be this incredibly stubborn.

“OF COURSE IT IS!”

Xabi snapped again.

“You know it would be fine with me if it wasn’t right?”

Kylian answered. A little annoyed, yet earnest.

“Of course I know that Kylian.”

Xabi said. A little less vice in his tone now.

“I don’t think you do, to be honest.”

Kylian contemplated.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Xabi’s eyebrows drew up. Looking genuinely terrified.

“I don’t know why, but you are scared to tell me things. I mean–“

Xabi interrupted him again.

“I’m not scared to tell you things!”

It sounded like a lie. An obvious lie.

“Xabi– I’m your fucking boyfriend and I don’t even know if you even talked to your kids for the past two weeks!”

Kylian whisper-shouted now. Honestly upset.

“Did you just call yourself my boyfriend Kylian?”

Xabi was grinning suddenly. Because as surprising as it was. They had never called each other boyfriends before. It had just never come up. Xabi obviously liked the title.

“Oh my god! You’re so annoying. That’s not the topic–“

Kylian kicked him a little beneath the sheets. And Xabi had the audacity to laugh at that.

“Well, I like it Kylian!”

Xabi grinned even wider now. Drawing Kylian into a strong hug.

“My boyfriend.”

Xabi said now. Like confirmation. Kylian’s cheek squished against his chest now with how tight he held him.

“Well. YOUR BOYFRIEND would like to know– about how things are going in your life!”

Kylian muffled a little resigned against his chest. Trying to get back on topic.

“Alright.”

Xabi let out now. Kylian couldn’t really see his face, but he could hear in his voice that Xabi was smiling.

A moment of silence followed. Like Xabi was contemplating, before he spoke again. Surrendering now. Finally.

“Shoot me a question then BOYFRIEND! What is it that you want to know?”

And Kylian did. Ask him a question. And then another. And another. Whether the kids knew of the divorce yet.

“We’re telling them on Friday.”

How Xabi was feeling about it.

“I’m relieved. But I’m worried they’ll be very upset, I’m worried they’ll blame me.”

How his wife was coming along.

“I think she is settling more and more into the idea, seeing more of the possibilities and advantages for herself now.”

And that’s how they kept going. Deep into the night. Kylian asking questions. And Xabi carefully and honestly answering him. Until there were no questions left to answer. Happy silence and contentment taking over both of them.

“Happy now boyfriend?”

Kylian could hear the grin in Xabi’s voice through the dark. He likes that word too much. Kylian thought. Fond.

“Yes. Happy!”

Kylian giggled. Before he added.

“You know, if I had known that I just had to call you my boyfriend once for you to spill all your truths, I would’ve done it way earlier.”

Xabi laughed at that. Warm. Open. He seemed relieved now. More relaxed.

“I’m sorry Kylian.”

He said now. Sincere.

“I’m so used to solving my stuff by myself–after being stuck in a dead marriage for years– you get used to it, you know.”

Kylian nodded against him.

“It’s okay Xabi.”

“I– I’ve always struggled with sharing my load you know–“

Xabi continued.

“It’s okay!”

“I’m always scared that people won’t like me if– if I admit I have faults you know?”

It sounded really sincere. Kylian felt himself get a little mushy. How could Xabi ever think Kylian could love him less? He’d never!

“Well, I love all your faults old man!”

He said now. Trying to lighten the mood. Pull himself out of it a little as well. And it worked. Because Xabi laughed again. Warm. Tender. The sound soothing to Kylian’s ears.

“And I love you Kylian.”

Xabi shot back.

“I love you too, Xabi.”

Xabi drew him closer again.

“My boyfriend!”

He whispered now. Like he was still testing the word on his tongue.

Kylian giggled.

“Your boyfriend.”

He said.

Like confirmation.

Chapter Text

Xabi woke up feeling light.

Impossibly so. Now that it was over with, he felt like he should have talked to Kylian way earlier. It was so easy. Talking to him. He couldn’t even remember why he had dreaded it. It was probably the age-gap but Xabi sometimes forgot a little about how capable and mature Kylian actually was. Or maybe it was his protective instinct, that made him want to shelter Kylian from everything that wasn’t perfect, from every potential mess. Which was stupid. The only reason their relationship even bloomed in the first place was because Xabi had opened up to Kylian. In Miami. That one night on the backseat of a taxi. Xabi should know by now that being open with Kylian would always be a good thing.

Learning by doing I guess.

Because they both weren’t the best at letting people in, opening up about their stuff. Kylian and him would just have to push each other to be a little more vulnerable. More open. And they would. They already were. And it felt good. Having a BOYFRIEND like Kylian who despite his own strong front felt the need to peek behind Xabi’s strong front as well. Who saw when Xabi was struggling. Who made the effort to reach out even if it wasn’t the easy route. Especially with how closed off Xabi knew he himself could get. He felt himself soften at the thought.

Kylian really really cared about him.

He wanted to share everything. The good and the bad. Xabi wasn’t really used to this type of relationship. Him and his wife had always kept their things separate. Their domains. More careful to not step on each other’s toes than anything else. But now with Kylian. With his BOYFRIEND. Everything would be different.

Better.

Xabi smiled to himself again. At how easily the word had slipped into Kylian’s speech yesterday. Boyfriend. It was absurd if you thought about it. They had never even properly discussed what their thing even was and yet Xabi had been ready to leave his wife and his old life behind no questions asked.

Insane.

But now their thing had a name.

Boyfriends.

A proper term. A claim. To belong to each other. Exclusively. They had already known that‘s what they were to each other regardless and yet it was nice to finally have a name for it. Even if they couldn’t shout it from the rooftops, even if it was still private, just for them, their word. Their claim.

It was nice.

Xabi placed a small kiss on top of Kylian’s head now. Trying to wake him up carefully.

“Good morning boyfriend.”

No movement. Xabi let his hand wander down to Kylian’s stomach to tickle him a bit. Kylian startled awake at that. Xabi let out a quiet giggle in response. He loved this version of Kylian, the Kylian that was just waking up and had to orientate himself. When his brain had yet to catch up to his body for a moment.

“Morning Kylian.”

Xabi said now. A little louder than before. He placed another kiss against the side of Kylian’s neck. Kylian let out a small yawn before he answered.

“Morning Xabi.”

Kylian’s voice was still heavy with the last remnants of sleep clinging to him.

“Did my boyfriend sleep well?”

Xabi asked now. And Kylian let out a small giggle at that. Obviously amused at Xabi using the b-word again.

“Yes I did.”

He whispered. Before Kylian turned around. Staring up at Xabi, who had propped himself up a little and was leaning on his left elbow now. Kylian was smiling at him. Dark, warm eyes twinkling. Full of joy and life. It was the most beautiful sight in the world. At least to Xabi it was. His free hand found its way to the side of Kylian’s face. Resting against his cheek now. Tenderly. Framing his face.

“You know when you look at me like that, I think you could make me do anything.”

Xabi said it like a joke, but there was definitely some truth to it. Kylian giggled.

“Look at you like what?”

He asked now. Amused.

“Just– you know. Big eyes and everything. It’s really not fair.”

Xabi answered. Acting serious. Like this was all really concerning.

“Oh yeah?”

Kylian drew closer now. A smirk playing on his lips. Eyes drawing even bigger now.

“I can make you do anything?”

Kylian whispered now. Suggestive. Eyes impossibly big. Lips turning pouty. Kylian knew exactly what he was doing. This was an aimed attack on Xabi’s sanity. And now Kylian’s face was close.

Too close to his.

Xabi let his hand wander from Kylian’s cheek to the back of his neck and he pulled him in. Into a hungry kiss. It had been a while. They both needed it. Teeth clashing. Scraping against soft lips, biting. Tongues fighting. It was messy, but it was good. Still tender somehow. Xabi pulled back a little. Looking at Kylian. Whose lips were bitten red. His puplis blown wide. He loved when he was close enough to Kylian to spot them inside his dark eyes. Xabi leaned back now, letting himself fall onto his back a little. Against the headboard.

But he pulled Kylian with him.

Pulled Kylian on top of himself. Into his lap. He loved having Kylian there. Heavy on top of himself. Where he should always be. Like reassurance. And now he pulled him into another kiss. More careful and measured this time. Slow. Searching. Relishing. Savoring. Like he was cataloguing the memory already. Valuable. Precious.

Xabi smiled against Kylian’s lips now. Because his wife had always pushed him away when he had tried to kiss her in the morning. Even at the start of their relationship. She didn’t like morning breath. Hated it. But Kylian couldn’t give less of a fuck about his morning breath.

No. His Kylian. His boyfriend.

Was turning all whiny and needy in his lap. Kissing Xabi’s morning breath away. Impatient hands pulling at Xabi’s shirt now. Trying to get it off. Trying to get him naked. Xabi pulled back. Grabbing Kylian by the wrist now. Trying to stop him from his mission.

“Kylian?”

He asked.

“What?!”

He sounded needy. Cute. Annoyed. Because why the hell would Xabi stop him now.

“Just– Uhm. The game is later today. You know?”

Xabi tried.

“Yes? And?!”

Kylian didn’t get it.

“I can’t– you know? I’m not fucking you the day of a game?”

Xabi said earnestly. A little sympathetic.

“Are you being serious right now?”

“Yeah, Kylian. Dead serious.”

Xabi smiled and Kylian’s mouth fell open. In disbelief.

“I need you in top condition Kylian, you get it?”

He tried to explain.

“What you think you’re going to have me limping across the pitch or what?”

Kylian deadpanned now.

“Yeah. Well. Maybe? I just can’t risk it.”

Xabi said now, apologetic.

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

Kylian sounded really annoyed.

Xabi laughed at that. He couldn’t help but find Kylian cute when he was annoyed. Kylian’s arms were crossed now, he was looking a little to the side. Out of the window, the mountainous landscape bathing in the morning sun now, instead of the evening glow.

“If I had known this yesterday , I wouldn’t have stopped you last night.”

Kylian muttered now. Regretful. Still joking. Even if he seemed earnestly annoyed. Xabi laughed again.

“Hey. You know what?”

Xabi started. And Kylian looked back at him now.

“What?”

He asked. Eyes big. Anticipating.

“How about–“

Xabi let his hand fall on top of Kylian’s right thigh. Resting.

“How about you give me a really good game tonight? And I reward you properly. Tomorrow? After we got back? You can come over to my place, hmmm?”

A bit of mischief was returning into Kylian’s eyes at that.

“And what if I don’t? What if I give you an utterly disastrous performance tonight? Hmmm? What will you do?”

He was smiling now.

“I know you won’t Kylian. You’ll be perfect.”

He pulled his face close now. Giving Kylian a small peck, before he rested their foreheads against each other.

“Because you’re always perfect for me!”

And that was it. Final. Their deal had been struck. All Kylian had to do now was play his part.

And he would. Xabi was sure of it.

Chapter Text

Kylian had not disappointed.

Quite the opposite. It had been enthralling to watch him in his element. Against WSG Tirol. Xabi couldn’t stop himself from looking. He also couldn’t stop talking to him every water break. Giving him pointers, he wanted to help him, to be even more perfect. And at the end of the night Kylian had carried away two beautiful goals and an assist on top of a beautiful performance.

All for me.

Xabi had thought. Selfishly.

He wanted to impress me. Get his reward.

Of course that wasn’t all of it. Kylian always wanted to play a good game, but Xabi couldn’t help but think his little motivation from earlier that morning was part of it. He just liked the thought a lot. That Kylian had played well for him. Exclusively for him. And who could blame him.

Now it was Wednesday and they were both back in Madrid.

And later today. In the late afternoon. Kylian would come over. Collect his reward. Xabi smiled to himself. He was so fucking lucky. To have someone like Kylian wanting him this much. It was intoxicating. Someone like Kylian craving him, wanting his attention and care. He wondered what Kylian would choose today. Which version of himself Kylian would want tonight. Kind and gentle Xabi or strict and demanding? Giving or withholding?

The anticipation was killing him a little.

He had to occupy his mind with something else until Kylian would get here. Otherwise he might go crazy. Scenarios running through his mind.

So Xabi had decided to set up some of the furniture he had ordered.

Some minimalistic white book and display shelfs for his his living room. Of course he could definitely afford to hire someone to have them set up for him. But Xabi was a hands on kind of guy, he liked doing stuff like this himself sometimes. And it would be a great distraction right now.

So he got to work.

And his plan was effective. He got lost in it. By the time Kylian’s message went in he had managed to put together about three and a half book and display shelves. The fourth was the last one. Almost finished. He had also gotten a large living room couch recently, though it still looked a little lonely inside the large room. At least things were coming together slowly. Xabi grabbed his phone now to check the message that had gone in.

* I‘m here can you send down the elevator?🤫🤫🤫

Kylian was here.

Finally. He sent him a quick reply before he went over to where the elevator would arrive, next to his apartment‘s regular entrance.

— On my way boyfriend! ;)

He pressed the button that would send the elevator down. Kylian already knew the passcode he had to use, to get in. And after a short while –the house had quite a lot of floors– the elevator doors opened and there he was.

And he looked nice. Like always.

But Xabi couldn’t help but think that he looked particularly nice today. He had been growing his hair out a little recently. It suited him. Maybe yesterday‘s win was also still clinging to him or maybe it was the anticipation of what they had planned for tonight.

He just looked really good.

He had a glow about him today. Really lively, as he got out of the elevator. Smiling at Xabi. Eyes sparkling like always. A glint. Mischievous.

He was wearing a plain white shirt, but it looked expensive. Probably Dior. And he had paired it with a light-washed pair of jeans, a lose fit, but they were somehow still hugging his thighs nicely. Kylian’s outfit was simple, yet Xabi still felt a little underdressed in his furniture-building attire. Really he hadn’t even gotten out of his Pyjamas at all today. Too lazy. Still wearing a white t-shirt, though more crumpled and less expensive than the one Kylian was wearing. And with that a pair of long pinstriped pyjama pants. White and baby-blue. But he had already known he would start sweating while building up his furniture. So why change.

Kylian was right in front of him now. Smiling up slightly. Though he was almost exactly Xabi‘s height when he was wearing shoes and Xabi wasn’t.

„Hi.“

Kylian whispered now. Smiling. And Xabi’s hands landed at Kylian’s hipbones. Like magnetism. Resting there now. Before he answered. Also whispering.

„Hi, you!“

And then he gave Kylian a small peck onto his lips. Barely there.

And yet it was still everything.

Kylian was giggling now, one of his hands having wandered up, combing through the the short hair at the back of Xabi‘s head.

„You look a bit of a mess Xabi.“

He said now. Smiling brightly. And Xabi couldn’t help but smile back at that. Kylian’s smile was so infectious. Xabi let out a light, yet slightly exhausted laugh.

„Yeah, I’m sorry? I was building my bookshelves and lost track of time.“

Xabi was pointing at the shelves behind him, one of them still unfinished. He actually had wanted to freshen up a bit and take a shower after finishing the last shelf, before Kylian arrived.

Oh well.

It didn’t really matter. Not right now at least. Because Kylian was still looking at him like THAT. Like Xabi hung the stars and the moon himself. Despite the lack of shower and proper dress.

„I really like when your hair looks a mess.“

Kylian said now. Quietly. Still running his hand through Xabi‘s hair.

„Oh really?“

Xabi smiled. If Kylian liked it, Xabi liked it more.

„Yeeaaahh–„

Kylian drew it out.

„It looks really hot.“

He said now.

Xabi laughed out loud at that.

„Well I‘m glad then, that I didn’t manage to take a shower huh?“

Kylian just nodded dumbly in response. Before Xabi‘s grip on Kylian’s hip tightened a little, which made Kylian’s grip on Xabi’s neck tighten. And.

Now they were kissing.

Properly this time. Wet. Open. Exploring each other’s mouths. Xabi would never get tired of this. Kylian’s lips on his. They were perfect. Made for this. His lips. Pink, plush. Meant to be kissed silly and bitten red. And it was Xabi‘s pleasure alone to do so.

Kylian pulled back a little. Big eyes boring into Xabi’s.

„How did I play yesterday, Coach?“

He whispered now. A knowing smile playing along his lips. Because really. It was a stupid question. They both knew he‘d been perfect. But Kylian still wanted to hear it from Xabi‘s mouth himself. And who was Xabi to deny him his wish?

„You were perfect for me Kylian.“

Was what he answered. Shooting Kylian a wink.

„Yeah?“

Kylian wiggled his eyebrows a bit. Suggestive, a little silly. Xabi hated how adorable he found it.

„Can I tell you something?“

Kylian added now.

„What is it Kylian?“

„I could barely focus on anything you told me during the game–„

Kylian started laughing now. Full. Rich.

„I–„

He tried to catch himself.

„I– You– You kept grabbing my arm–„

Kylian mimicked it. Grabbing Xabi’s biceps now. Shaking his arm around a bit.

„And my mind panicked, so I just kept staring straight ahead and nodding, but I wasn’t hearing a word of what you said–„

He was laughing again now. Even louder. And Xabi joined him. This was nice. Warm. Tender.

„Well I‘m sorry.“

Xabi said now. Joking.

„I didn’t know a simple touch of mine would be that distracting to you.“

Xabi sounded a little smug. And he was. Because really, who wouldn’t be knowing they had that type of effect on Kylian Mbappé of all people. A bit of pride swelled inside Xabi’s chest and Kylian hit him. A playful punch against said chest.

„Don’t flatter yourself! I was just worried on how it‘d look for the cameras!“

Kylian said now. Pouty. A little embarrassed after admitting how easily Xabi could make his mind stop running properly.

„Sure. Sure Kylian.“

Xabi answered. Still smug.

„Because you’re always SO CAREFUL.“

Xabi raised his brows a little. Amused. Kylian’s mouth fell open. Baffled.

„What is that supposed to mean?“

He asked now.

„Just– you usually lay it on thick. When we started training back up here in Madrid you were flirting so much with me, I basically had to ignore you–„

Kylian scoffed now. Though he didn’t seem earnestly offended.

„So you WERE ignoring me!“

He whisper-shouted now. Accusing. Yet also amused.

„I knew it! That‘s not nice!“

Kylian added.

„Yes Kylian. I was. I was ignoring you. And you were trying to make me jealous by flirting with all your teammates, hmmm? That’s not nice either!“

This was good. Xabi was finally getting it of his chest. But it wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward, like he had feared. Actually it was lighthearted. Fun.

„It worked though!“

It was Kylian’s turn to be smug now.

„You got jealous!“

Kylian giggled. And Xabi pulled him closer now. A little possessive. Because yes. Kylian was right. Xabi had gotten jealous. He hadn’t liked it. Seeing Kylian cling to people that weren’t him. No. Not at all.

„Maybe.“

He said lowly. Against the side of Kylian’s neck now. Where he was burying his face only for a second. To breath him in. While hugging Kylian tightly.

„Maybe you’ll have to reclaim what’s yours?“

Kylian whispered now.

Oh?

Xabi would gladly do that. ALL TOO GLADLY. And to illustrate his willingness, he let his right hand wander down to Kylian’s ass. To give him a possessive squeeze.

„Let’s do that.“

He said now. Darkly. Head still buried inside Kylian’s neck. Before pulling back slightly and staring at Kylian directly. Kylian who looked really excited now. Almost giddy. Silly. Cute.

Xabi innerly groaned.

He wanted him. RIGHT NOW.

„Let’s go to my bedroom Kylian.“

Is all he got out. Already pushing Kylian into the direction of his bedroom. He‘d show him. His Kylian. His BOYFRIEND. Definitively.

Who he belonged to. Once and for all.

Chapter Text

Kylian felt the need deep inside of his stomach creep to the front as Xabi kept pushing him. Strong and demanding. Towards the bedroom. GOD. He had needed this. It felt like it had been forever since the last time they’d been intimate. And seeing Xabi like every day almost, not able to do anything about it. It was driving Kylian completely crazy. It had made him act like a fucking fool already, just to get some attention.

And now he was finally getting it.

They had arrived at the bedroom now. Xabi pushing the door open and shoving Kylian inside. Roughly. Kylian felt the shove deep inside his gut. He loved it. Loved when Xabi manhandled him a bit. Pushing him around. Grabbing him. Placing him where ever he wanted him. It was so exciting. Always new.

And now. Apparently.

Xabi wanted him on his bed, because he had shoved him. And Kylian had toppled over, falling onto the crumpled sheets. Bouncing a little as he landed on his back.

Before Kylian raised his head a bit, looking up from his position. Seeing Xabi stare down. At him. A bit scary. Standing tall. Like he was debating on how to progress. What to do with Kylian today. Kylian felt himself harden inside his jeans. Of fucking course. Really. It was almost embarrassing. Sometimes Xabi just needed to look at him in that particular way and that was enough. Kylian was easy for Xabi like that.

WHATEVER.

Not Kylian’s fault Xabi oozed sex-appeal from every single pore of his being. He just had that rough and handsome look, mixed with confidence, smartness and assertiveness. He was just really, really sexy. It was hard to deny. Kylian wouldn’t. And Kylian saw it. How women in particular acted around Xabi. Easily flattered, laughing too loudly at his jokes. He got it. He really understood.

Because he was the same.

But he actually had the pleasure of. You know. What they were doing now. What they were going to do now. But–

Were they actually doing anything? Xabi was still standing. Still just staring?

“So?”

Kylian asked now. Trying his best to sound sultry. Wanting. Enticing. Drawing his eyes big. Batting his lashes. Trying to push all of Xabi’s buttons, because he was already getting impatient.

“What will you do? To prove that I–“

Xabi interrupted him.

“Kylian shut up!”

Xabi ordered. Obviously a bit amused at Kylian’s impatience. And Kylian did. Shut up that is. Waiting now. He always had to wait for him. It was like Xabi was enjoying the torture. No. Scratch that. By now Kylian knew for a fact, that Xabi enjoyed it. Torturing him. Drawing it out. On purpose. Mean. HOT.

Kylian wanted to–

He only told me to shut up. He thought now.

Before letting his own hand wander down. Pulling a bit at the hem of his shirt. Pulling it up now. Just a little. Giving Xabi a glimpse. Letting his hand rest against his own stomach. Tracing the lines of his abs. Hoping it looked good. What he was doing. That it looked sexy. Enticing. For Xabi. And Xabi was still just staring. A small smile tugging at his lips now.

THAT EVIL MAN. Is he just going to stare at me all night or what?

Kylian felt a little pathetic. Laying on the bed all ready and needy and not getting anything from Xabi. Only feeling Xabi’s knowing eyes on himself. Xabi watching his little show as he kept pulling his shirt up higher. Playing with his nipples now. Flicking them. Rolling them between his fingers. Because maybe Xabi would like that. Maybe that would make Xabi finally do SOMETHING. But Xabi STILL wasn’t doing anything. And Kylian –embarrassingly– could feel himself grow harder. At the humiliation.

Maybe he wants me to touch myself?

Didn’t he say that back in Innsbruck?

But Kylian was startled out of his train of thought now. Because Xabi was carefully getting rid of Kylian’s shoes. Throwing them to the side now. Before he was leaning over Kylian. Very carefully. Measured. Not touching. He looked big and intimidating above him. Kylian liked it a lot. It made him feel wanted.

Finally. Kylian thought.

Because now. Xabi swiftly opened the button of Kylian’s jeans, pulling down the zipper before pulling the entirety of his pants off him. In one go. Precise. Practiced. The jean fabric scratching along Kylian’s thighs soothingly as he did.

But then. Xabi stood.

AGAIN? Waiting. AGAIN? Staring down at Kylian. Kylian who was only left in his shirt, his socks and his briefs now. The shirt already having wandered up. The briefs already straining with Kylian’s hard-on. What the hell.

Does he actually want me to?

Because what the hell else was Kylian supposed to do here? So he let his left hand wander back down. From his chest to his lower stomach. Carefully. Hoping that he was reading this right. And just when he was about to. Xabi gave him the confirmation.

“Touch yourself for me Kylian.”

Was all Xabi said. Voice a little low. Tinged with intrigue. Want. And he was sitting down now. At the edge of the bed. Next to Kylian. All calm and relaxed.

Sick bastard.

Blue-balling me before the game, offering me a reward if I play well and now I still have to do all the work? Kylian thought.

But he couldn’t even be really mad. Because somehow. This was all still VERY HOT. With Xabi everything was. And it was always different. Never the same. Kylian had a feeling that it would take a long, long time before their sex-life ever got stale. Because Xabi was so creative. He always came up with something else.

“Go on Kylian.”

Xabi urged him now. Nudging his side a little. And really. What could Kylian do but comply. Follow Xabi’s instructions. Like always.

So he did.

Slowly sliding his hand beneath his briefs now. Wrapping around himself a little. Resting now. Searching Xabi’s eyes. As if he was asking. Whether he was actually allowed to do this. And Xabi looked back at him. Into his eyes. He looked a bit out of it actually. Xabi. Enthralled. Kylian could feel his chest swell with pride. Because he was making Xabi look that way. Entranced. Captivated. Like he never wanted to look at anything else –anyone else– again.

Xabi was lying down now.

Beside him. Still dressed in his Pyjamas. It was always so hard to finally make him get rid of his clothes. He was propping himself up on his elbow, leaning on his side. So he could get a good look at all of Kylian. Before he rested his right hand on Kylian’s lower stomach. Just lightly. The faintest touch. Right above where Kylian’s hand was wrapped around himself inside his briefs.

Kylian was going to die.

“Go slow.”

Xabi instructed him now. In a whisper. And of course. Kylian did. Go slow. Following Xabi’s instructions. Just like he always did. Couldn’t even think of disobeying him. It was just too easy. Letting Xabi lead.

Up and down. Up down.

Kylian was stroking himself now. Still caught inside his briefs. Slowly. Torturous. Because that was what Xabi had ordered. And Xabi’s hand was resting right above, thumb stroking soothingly against his stomach.

Can’t he just join in? Kylian thought now. Terribly horny. Impatient.

But it was pointless. Kylian wouldn’t dare ask. Because Xabi had told him to shut up. So Kylian was shutting up. It was really that simple. But that didn’t stop him from imagining it. Xabi’s hand slipping beneath his waistband. Wrapping around his own hand. Guiding him. Dictating the tempo.

“Kylian, I told you to go slow.”

Kylian could hear Xabi’s voice now. Through his haze. He was already feeling floaty. He hadn’t even noticed he picked up tempo. So he slowed down a little again.

“That’s better Kylian. Always so needy, huh? You really have to learn a little patience.”

There was a smile inside Xabi’s voice. Like he was really endeared Kylian couldn’t manage to follow a simple instruction.

“But you’re such a needy boy aren’t you Kylian?”

Kylian wasn’t sure whether Xabi wanted him to answer. Hadn’t he told him to shut up?

“Answer me Kylian.”

Oh. Oh okay.

“Yes.”

Is all he got out. Dumbly. As he kept stroking himself. Slowly. Too slow.

“Yes what Kylian?”

Xabi insisted.

“Yes– I’m needy? Coach?”

Was that what Xabi wanted to hear? Probably.

“That’s right Kylian. So needy. And who does my needy boy belong to, huh?”

Oh yeah. Right. Belonging. Claiming. Kylian had kind of forgotten what he had asked Xabi right before they’d went to the bedroom until now.

“I’m yours. Xabi– Your boy. Only needy for you.”

Kylian answered now. Babbling. Hoping the answer would be somewhat satisfying to Xabi. And it seemed to be, because now Xabi was instructing further.

“Take it out baby.”

Kylian halted. Take it out? Baby? Kylian liked whenever Xabi called him that.

“Your cock.”

Xabi clarified.

And so Kylian did. As always. Finally taking his cock out of the confines of his briefs. Pushing them down a little as he did. Before he wrapped back around himself and waited again. For his next instruction. While Xabi’s hand was still resting. On top of his stomach. Drawing small circles now.

“Stroke yourself Kylian. And go fast. You can prove how needy you are for me, hmmm?”

And Kylian started. Quickly, rushed. Just how Xabi wanted it. Up down. Up down. Frantic. Xabi leaned over to the bedside table now. Opening a drawer. Pulling out a packet of lube. Before leaning back over and opening it.

“Can I?”

He asked simply. And Kylian just nodded dumbly in response. He didn’t even know what he was agreeing to. But he was agreeing nonetheless.

“Take your hand away Kylian.”

Xabi chuckled now.

And Kylian did. Of course. Before Xabi quickly stroked him, with his now lube coated hand. Once, twice. Three times. Just to get him wet. To make It easier for Kylian. Before he let his finger slip down once. In between Kylian’s cheeks. Probing at his entrance once.

Kylian let out a whine. Needy.

He wanted him. He wanted him inside. NOW. But Xabi rested his wet hand back on Kylian’s stomach instead.

“Keep going Kylian. Don’t come until I say so.”

He said now. And Kylian let out another whine. High. Desperate. Because how dare he! Kylian just wanted to get fucked good. And now he had to do all this to even get there.

Whatever.

Kylian stroked himself faster. Just how Xabi had wanted. Just how he had ordered. Because he was that desperate. He’d do fucking anything. And it was easier now. The lube was helping his hand slide better. Up and down. Quickly. Desperate.

“I bet you want me inside of yourself right now huh?”

Xabi whispered now. Mean. Amused. Kylian’s hips bucked up at that.

“I bet you wish, I’d help you out. Help you touch yourself.”

GOD. He was so mean. Kylian could feel himself grow close. Stroking even faster.

“Answer me Kylian. Do you want me inside of you?”

“Yes– I– I want you–“

Kylian could hear his own voice stuttering. Embarrassing. Humiliating. Incredibly hot. He was getting really close.

“Inside?”

Xabi insisted again.

“Yes. Want you– Inside of me– Please Xabi!”

Kylian could hear how desperate he sounded. He didn’t care though. Not at this point. This was exactly how Xabi wanted him. So he’d give it to him. Give him what he wanted.

“You know what Kylian? I think you deserve it!”

“Yeah?”

Kylian’s voice sounded incredibly high. Squeaky.

“Yeah. You were so good for me, so perfect yesterday. My starboy, hmmm?”

“Yes. Yours– Perfect.”

“Does my starboy want to come, hmmm?”

Whispered now. Close to his ear.

“Yes. I want to– Xabi– please!”

Xabi waited another moment. Leaning back again. Looking at him. Relishing in it. Taking it all in. Seeing the desperation in Kylian’s eyes. The strain in his body. The ridden up shirt. The pushed down briefs caught at his thighs. The movements of his hips. Bucking up slightly. The erratic strokes of his hand.

Kylian felt on display.

But he didn’t care. He would gladly be on display for Xabi. If it meant Xabi would keep looking at him like that forever. Like he was a sight to behold. Like he was the most beautiful person in the entire world. Kylian could feel his hips stutter again. Too close. Before Xabi finally let him. Finally showed some mercy.

“Come for me Kylian.”

And of course Kylian did. Immediately. Like always. Perfect for him. For Xabi. Shooting thick white ropes. All across his own hand. His own stomach, where Xabi’s hand was still resting lightly on top of him.

“So perfect for me.”

Xabi muttered before he leaned in. Kissing him now. Lightly. Softly. While the aftershocks of Kylian’s orgasm were still running through him. Small tremors as Xabi kept kissing him. Kylian let his hand fall down. Cock softening a little now. Spent. And Xabi hadn’t even fucked him yet. Hadn’t even touched him properly. God. Kylian was so gone for him. He’d do anything. EVERYTHING. Xabi ended the kiss now with one last peck to Kylian’s lips. Before he whispered.

“Let’s give you what you want now Kylian? Hmm?”

And he started pushing his pyjama bottoms down, while also pushing Kylian to lay on his side. It was all a mess. Their hands wet with Kylian’s cum. Kylian’s briefs still caught at his thighs. Both still in their shirts. Xabi was also pushing his briefs down now. Though not entirely. Just enough. To have access. Also a bit impatient for once.

“Still need to open you up though–“

Xabi muttered roughly against him from behind. Kylian didn’t mind. Xabi could skip past that for all he cared. He just wanted him. But he knew Xabi wouldn’t. Xabi would be careful with him. Like he tended to be. Usually. When it wasn’t agreed upon that he shouldn’t be.

And he could feel it now. Xabi’s hand at his entrance. Still slick. Wet with his own cum and the lube from earlier. The tip of his finger resting against him now. Lightly. Barely touching.

“Please Xabi!”

Kylian pushed his hips back a little. Searching for more friction. Already desperate to go again. Come again. With Xabi inside this time. Full of him. Fully claimed. Coming together this time. Like it should always be. Xabi chuckled lightly against him.

“Don’t worry baby!”

He placed a small peck to side of Kylian’s head now.

“I’ll be inside you soon enough!”

Chapter Text

Xabi hadn’t even planned on doing this beforehand.

To have Kylian touch himself for him. He’d just decided in the moment. That that’s what he wanted. It might have been a little cruel, especially since Xabi had offered to reward Kylian yesterday. But it had just been too tempting. And maybe it was a little dangerous, but Xabi knew Kylian was bad at saying no to him. He had known Kylian wouldn’t object. So why not?

And now he was very glad that he had made him.

Because fuck. Had it been pretty. Kylian’s hand wrapped around himself. Long, slender fingers sliding up and down his cock. And his eyes. Right when he wanted to come, big and pleading, but Xabi let him wait a little more. Yeah. Xabi definitely wanted to see more of it in the future. Maybe watch Kylian finger himself. God that would be so fucking hot. Xabi let out a groan just thinking about it. But now.

He was focused on his next task.

Opening Kylian up a little. He had two fingers inside of him by now. Moving slowly. Carefully. While Kylian kept whining. He was already such a mess. Xabi’s perfect little mess. So pretty like this. And Kylian already wanted more. Xabi could tell. Despite having just come. So greedy, his Kylian. Xabi decided to push his fingers in a little more. Hard. Hitting right against Kylian’s prostate now. Making him jump. Just for a bit. The moan spilling out of Kylian was worth it.

He looked so beautiful like this.

A little blissed out. Lying on his side. His naked behind aimed towards Xabi. Rocking back a little against Xabi’s hand. Almost on autopilot. Like he didn’t even notice he was doing it. Searching for more friction as Xabi’s fingers kept moving inside of him. Slowly opening him up. Drawing circles. Pushing in and out. Feeling Kylian’s walls clench around him. Desperate for more. Desperate to have Xabi’s cock inside of himself.

Xabi groaned a little. He was growing increasingly hard. It was getting hard to ignore. Just seeing Kylian like this for him. Feeling him clench around his fingers. Letting out small, muffled noises as he did. It was too much. Xabi was rock-hard behind him by now.

“I wish I could fuck you open like this every morning Kylian.”

An intrusive thought. That he needed to share with Kylian for some reason.

“Yeah?”

Was all Kylian got out. Sounding a little breathless.

“Yeah Kylian. I bet you’d love it, hmmm?

Xabi said. Before he added.

“Being ready and open for me like that all the time.”

“Answer me Kylian.”

“Yeah. Yeah I’d–“

A moan spilled out of him, as Xabi’s fingers hit his prostate again.

“I’d love it Xabi!”

He finished his sentence quickly. To not be interrupted again. Xabi chuckled warmly at that. It was cute. And he added another finger now. A third. It slipped in easily today. Because Xabi had been very careful with his Kylian tonight. He just felt like it. He kept going for a little while. Pushing his fingers in and out. Finding Kylian’s prostate from time to time. Feeling his body jump a little whenever he did.

It was almost hypnotic. Xabi could probably do this forever.

“You think you’re ready for me Kylian?”

He asked now. Kindly.

Xabi was feeling very tender tonight for some reason. Feeling blessed. Lucky. Seeing Kylian in front of him. Vulnerable. Open. Trusting and willing to do anything for him. It was a lot.

Xabi felt full of it.

Love. Gratitude. Lust. Want. But also a hint of fear. The fear of losing him. Losing Kylian. Losing this. There was too much of everything within him right now. He didn’t even know where to place it all.

“Yeah, ‘m ready.”

Kylian answered now. Small. Cute.

Xabi heart jumped a little. He was so in love. TOO MUCH. He wanted to keep him. Wanted to keep Kylian just like this forever. In his arms. Warm. Vulnerable. Open. Pretty. So trusting for him.

Xabi pulled his fingers out, hearing Kylian whine at the loss. And now he let his slick hand slip in between Kylian’s soft thighs for a little. He was sensitive there. His inner thighs. Xabi knew. He let his hand slide up and down in between his legs. Like this. With Kylian lying on his side, his thighs were squished together beautifully. Soft and strong.

One of these days he was going to fuck these thighs. Is all Xabi’s mind could supply him with. But who could blame him. Kylian’s thighs were very pretty. Every part of Kylian was so beautiful. He wanted to claim all of him. Make him his. Entirely. Forever.

“Xabi–“

Kylian whined now. Impatient again. Hole still empty after being opened up for so long. Clenching on nothing now.

“Sorry, Kylian.”

Xabi said now. Actually apologetic. He really had let him wait enough. So he pulled his hand out from between Kylian’s thighs. To grab his own cock and stroke up and down twice. To get it wet. Make the slide easier. Wet with lube and some remnants of Kylian’s cum. Before he lined himself up with Kylian’s entrance. Feeling Kylian pulse against him. Like a heartbeat. It was beautiful.

“Sorry Kylian. I was busy thinking about fucking your thighs.”

Xabi chuckled slightly. Because how could one be so obsessed with a person. Too busy thinking about what he could do to Kylian another time, that he was forgetting to actually fuck him right in the moment.

“Oh–“

Was all Kylian got out in response. Before Xabi pushed in. Properly. Hard. All the way. It was a little hard with his position. Still lying on his side, spooning Kylian from behind.

But it had to work.

Because Xabi had decided that he liked this position. Because it reminded him. Of all the nights in Miami where Xabi had held Kylian just like this. Hand around his stomach. Face pressed to his nape. Before they had ever even gotten intimate.

And even then Xabi had felt like this. Full of love. Overwhelmed almost by the force of it.

Xabi started rocking into Kylian now. Deep hard thrusts. Pulling him closer. His right hand wrapped tightly around Kylian’s stomach. While his left arm slipped beneath Kylian now. To wrap tightly around his chest. Impossibly close now. Xabi pushing in and out of Kylian. In a steady rhythm.

And Kylian just let himself be held. Body boneless. Jaw slack. He was a little gone. Out of it. Xabi could tell. But he liked this Kylian as well. The one that couldn’t think properly. The one that just let himself be handled by Xabi, let himself be taken care of, no questions asked. Xabi fucked into him harder. Feeling Kylian clench around himself involuntarily. Uselessly. His body with a mind of its own now. And he loved it. Feeling every tremor that went through Kylian’s body.

He let his right hand wander down a bit.

Just to check.

And sure enough. Kylian was already growing hard again. Because of me. Xabi thought. Mine. All for me. He wanted to mark him. Claim him. Because Kylian should know. And Xabi knew that he did know. That he was his. Xabi’s. Entirely. All of him. Nobody else’s. Xabi decided to stroke Kylian’s cock now as he kept rocking into him.

“You’re so perfect Kylian.”

He whispered against his neck.

“All mine, aren’t you Kylian?”

He was starting to pick up speed. Rocking their joined bodies back and forth roughly. Tightening his grip on Kylian’s chest. Pushing into him. Deeper. Faster. Speeding up the strokes of his hand around Kylian’s cock.

A jumbled up. “Allyous, yes!” Was all Kylian managed to get out in response.

And Xabi was chasing it now. His and Kylian’s orgasm. Hoping they’d come together. Just like last time.

“My beautiful boy–“

He said now. Between breaths. Because he wanted to. Rocking into Kylian. HARD. Hitting that spot now. Over and over. And Kylian. He was a mess. Continuous moans spilling out of him now. Pained pleasure coating his voice. As Xabi’s punishing rhythm seemed to draw closer and closer to a finish.

“Close.”

Kylian mumbled out now. Like he was still asking for permission. Xabi’s permission to come. Xabi let out a groan. Because how could someone be this fucking perfect.

“Me– Me too.”

Xabi said now. Stuttering. Breathing heavy.

“Let’s– let’scome– Together yeah?”

Was the last of what he got out. Before his hips started to stutter against Kylian. And with a few more hurried thrusts. A few more strokes of Xabi’s hand around Kylian’s cock. They both came.

Together.

Again.

Like last time. Perfect.

Kylian pulsing around him as he spilled all over Xabi’s hand. For the second time tonight. Xabi. Buried impossibly deep. Coating Kylian’s insides. Filling him up. Marking him his again. Claiming him. Reminding him. Who he belonged to. Xabi could feel his own nails scrape against Kylian’s chest with how tight he held him.

“You’re mine.”

He whispered again. Head still buried against Kylian’s nape. Cock still buried deep inside Kylian. Softening now.

“Mine.”

He said again. Teeth scraping against Kylian’s neck as he said it. Like he wanted to bite him. And he did. Bite him now. Playful. Just a little. Placing a little peck on top of the bite marks right after. Kylian hummed a little at that. Content. Happy.

Happy to be claimed by Xabi.

And now Kylian’s left hand found his way to Xabi’s hand. The one still resting against his chest. Right above his heart. Tucking his hand beneath Xabi’s. So Xabi could wrap his hand around his.

And now they just lay like that. For a long while.

Breathing heavy. Hearts drumming against their chests in sync. Xabi still buried deep inside Kylian. In their own little world. Intertwined.

Breathing as one.

Chapter Text

After a long while lying wrapped up into each other, just breathing, they had taken a shower. Together. Warm, soft water running across their bodies. Soothing. Like the kindest waterfall, washing them clean with care and precision. And while Kylian had still felt a little high and far away, floaty. He was somehow very present. Very aware.

Something about Xabi was different tonight.

He seemed a bit lost in thought, emotional. Almost clingy? Soaping Kylian up, helping him wash clean the spots on his back he couldn’t easily reach. Tracing his sides. Devotional. Incredibly careful. Like Kylian was something fragile, precious. Like just a gust of wind could make him somehow disappear forever.

And after the shower they had gotten back into bed. Kylian had thought they might do something else tonight. That maybe he could help Xabi set up some more of his furniture. Or they could watch a movie, maybe play a game on the xbox. Just something trivial. Just to spent some time together, unoccupied with sex or cuddling. But he realized now. That wasn’t going to happen. Not tonight at least.

Xabi was in need of contact. Close contact. Face pressed to the side of Kylian’s neck. Just like back in Miami. Kylian had a bit of trouble to not fall asleep, just lying here, letting Xabi hug him close. All safe. Strong and warm embrace surrounding him.

But then it happened.

Small and desperate.

It wasn’t more than a whisper against Kylian’s skin. A quiet plead. But Kylian still had heard it.

„Please don’t hurt me.“

So quiet. Kylian was sure Xabi hadn’t meant for it to slip out at all. Not out loud. Kylian stilled a little. Frozen within Xabi’s arms now.

Please don’t hurt me? Why would Xabi say that?

„What was that?“

He asked now. Lightly. Carefully. Seeking clarification. Though he was a little agitated now, confused. What could have Xabi meant?

„What was what?“

Xabi asked now. Voice still muffled against the side of Kylian’s neck. It sounded genuine. Like he actually hadn’t realized what he had just said.

„What you said? Just now? ‚Please don’t hurt me‘?“

Kylian clarified now. And silence followed.

Oh no.

A beat too long. Almost uncomfortable.

„Oh.“

Xabi said after a while. Dumbly. What does he mean ,Oh‘. ‚Oh‘ what?

„Why would I hurt you?“

Kylian tried now. A bit panicked. Because he couldn’t just let this go. That simple, quiet sentence had really startled him. It was unsettling. The thought that Xabi feared Kylian might hurt him. Like he didn’t feel save, like he couldn’t fully trust Kylian. That couldn’t be, no–

„Sorry Kylian. It was silly. I just–„

Xabi started now. Trying to explain.

„I just love you a lot. Too much almost. It‘s just, it’s scary–„

Kylian still didn’t get it. Okay, so Xabi loved him. Great. But why would he think Kylian would hurt him then. If he loved him, he would know that Kylian would never do that.

NEVER.

„Why would I ever want to hurt you?“

He asked now quietly. More agitated than before. A bit of hurt inside his voice. Because he couldn’t hide it.

„I‘m not saying you want to– Kylian. Of course not. But you’re still young– it’s just–„

„What I‘m YOUNG so I can’t be SERIOUS?!“

Kylian was getting a little angry now. Confused. Why is this what Xabi would think about right now? RIGHT HERE? Kylian hated that he felt himself grow a little sad. It had been such a great night and now? Now he was starting to feel shit. Did Xabi not understand who he was by now? That this was real to him. Them. SERIOUS?

„That’s not– that’s not what I‘m saying at all Kylian.“

Xabi pulled Kylian even closer by the waist. As if to soothe him. To reassure him. To tell him it wasn’t a big deal.

„It’s just– I know what it means Kylian. To be in a long term relationship for over a decade–„

He tried to explain.

„Are you comparing me to your wife?“

Kylian spat out now. Growing petty now. He didn’t like this. Not one bit. Kylian wasn’t her, he would never be like her.

„No! That’s not– I‘m just saying things can change that’s all. And I‘m ALL IN this. Us. You know?“

Xabi grip around his hip tightened. Kylian could feel Xabi’s heartbeat pressed against his own back before he continued.

„With you. I’m ALL IN. I really believe in us! But I‘m only getting older–„

„You’re not that old!“

Kylian muttered now. This was all silly. Kylian didn’t like it. Xabi having all those scary thoughts. Unnecessary.

„I guess what I‘m trying to say Kylian is that I know this is a huge commitment for you. And I know things can change–„

Kylian interrupted again.

„Well things won’t change!“

Kylian could feel himself sound a little panicked. Because he once again didn’t like what Xabi was implying. That Kylian falling out of love with Xabi was even a possibility. No! It couldn’t happen! NEVER!

Xabi was chuckling around him now. Warmly. Obviously endeared. It shoothed Kylian a little. But only a little.

„I love you Xabi, I‘d never hurt you!“

He whispered now. Hoping Xabi would believe him. He just had to. That’s what trust is.

„And I believe you Kylian. I do.”

He was stroking up and down Kylian’s arms now. Tenderly. A soothing motion. Placing a peck to his nape now. Still trying to calm Kylian down again.

“All I ask of you is– If that ever were to change. Which I know it won’t. Because I trust you. Is to–“

“To what?!”

Kylian couldn’t bear the wait anymore. Could Xabi just get out what he had to say?!

“To please let me down gently. And not drag it out and let it get ugly.”

That hit Kylian like a brick. Their thing? Them? Ugly?! HOW?! He wanted to ask. How Xabi could even think of that? How he could even imagine something like that? RIGHT NOW? Why? WHY NOW?! But he didn’t. Because Xabi obviously needed reassurance for some reason. So he gave it to him. Because he always gave Xabi what he needed. Tried to at least.

“I promise Xabi. But it won’t come to that, trust me! Never!”

He said now. With conviction. And he meant it. From the innermost part of his soul, with every single fiber of his being. He meant it. This would work. Them. Boyfriends. And not only for a while. No! Forever.

They would make it work!

Kylian could feel Xabi smile against his neck now. Thank god. He shouldn’t have even been worrying in the first place. Xabi could trust him!

“Sorry for being a downer right now Kylian.”

He whispered now.

“Don’t apologize Xabi! It’s okay.”

Kylian said now. Tenderly. Because he may be a little angry at Xabi’s distrust. But Xabi had also been patient with him. Had waited for Kylian’s mind to get back on track. When he had been having doubts back in Miami. It was only fair to return the favor. But Xabi still continued. Mind not fully settled yet.

“I think she is still in my head somehow–“

Oh? She?

“You know our talk with the kids is coming up. Day after tomorrow. I guess I’m just getting worried.”

And Xabi sounded worried. Really worried. Oh no.

“I’m sure it will turn out alright Xabi. It will be hard of course– It will be. But worth it? I think?”

Kylian hoped Xabi believed that too.

“Yeah. Yeah! It will be worth it.”

Xabi assured him.

“But I think I’m just now realizing what I’m putting on the line. I might not be that great of a dad, but my kids still mean everything to me you know?”

“Yeah I know.”

Kylian answered. He felt like his answer was dumb. Not enough. But he didn’t know what else to say. It seemed like Xabi just needed to get this off his chest. And Kylian was glad. That he was at least opening up to him, that he wasn’t keeping stuff to himself like he tended to do.

“For some stupid reason my mind keeps replaying what she said to me directly after she found out –you know– about us?”

Xabi’s voice sounded frustrated. Like he hated having those thoughts. Hated having doubt creep its way into his mind. Kylian was scared to ask, but he couldn’t stop himself either.

“What did she say?”

He whispered now. Bracing himself to hear her opinion on him. Bracing himself to get hurt.

“You really want to know?”

Xabi chuckled a little pained.

“Yes. I want to know what’s going on with you Xabi.”

Kylian answered quietly.

“She said– She said I was crazy for thinking you and me could work– that in a few months you’d probably move on– become bored of me– and that. That if our thing ever came to light, that the entire blame would land on me–“

Xabi sounded pained saying all this. And it stung hearing it. That this is what she thought of him. That those were the thoughts that had involuntarily nestled themselves into Xabi’s brain. But that’s what it was. Their thing. Complicated. It wasn’t meant to be easy. And tonight it was Kylian’s time to try and do damage control. Get them back on track.

“I mean she must’ve been really angry. She probably just said what she wanted to happen. Because she was mad you know?”

Kylian whispered now. He could feel Xabi nod against him from behind so he continued.

“And she doesn’t know me. Like at all. She doesn’t know US, how WE operate? She just sees a younger guy going for her husband. That’s all she sees. Of course she’d think it wouldn’t work. Right?”

Kylian asked now. Wanting to hear from Xabi again.

“Yeah Kylian. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

He sounded genuinely apologetic. Very sincere. It warmed Kylian’s heart a bit. He should go easier on Xabi sometimes. Let him speak properly before going into panic mode.

“It’s fine.”

Kylian answered now. Reassuring.

“I believe you okay? I trust you. It will work! Doesn’t matter what she thinks right?”

Xabi said now. Voice gaining a little more strength.

“I mean, maybe don’t piss her off further–“

Kylian chuckled lightly now before he added.

“But other than that, yeah. It doesn’t matter. We will work!”

And Xabi repeated it. Quietly. Against his neck. Finally back on board. Like reassurance.

“We will work!”

Chapter Text

It was Friday.

The day. Xabi’s ex-wife had finalized the divorce yesterday. All papers singed, it would be official soon. Though it still wasn’t really registering for Xabi yet. Ever since he had gotten to know Kylian everything had been turned upside down. Rarely had he ever went into something so fearlessly. And yet. It still felt right. Really ever since the first night he had held Kylian close some part of him had known that this was the only possible direction to take. The only way he’d not be full of regret for the rest of his life. There wasn’t a single reservation in his mind about choosing Kylian.

Love like this was rare.

Raw, unfiltered, true, honest.

Something so precious and profound you couldn’t just simply disregard it and let it become a distant memory. No. Xabi’s mind had been clear from the get-go. For some reason. It had just been obvious to him.

He would be WITH Kylian. Never WITHOUT him again. Whatever that decision entailed.

So now he was here.

In front of the door of the home he had bought together with his then-wife, mere months ago. But this time it was not his home. It never really had been to be frank, he had never really settled there. And yet, it felt weird. Not even holding a key, no access. He was a visitor here now. Not part of it anymore. This episode of his life. What had been his life for so long. It was all over now.

It felt strange. Surreal. Standing here now. In front of this door.

Xabi was hesitant to ring the bell.

Like he was going to step inside a museum telling the story of his past life. His old self already seemed so distant now that he was out of it. He couldn’t even understand, how he had kept it going for so long, his marriage, when everything had felt so wrong, for a very long time. Maybe he could have saved them both some time, himself and his ex. Maybe they could have moved on earlier found new ways to live, new connections.

But then. Maybe. He would have never–

Him and Kylian.

Maybe they would have never–

No.

It was good how it happened. This was exactly how it was supposed to happen. It must have been destined. Everything couldn’t always be smooth-sailing. Sometimes you just needed that someone, that person, to shake you out of a trance, out of a lie that you had been living for so long.

And Xabi was happy.

That it had been Kylian.

He didn’t want it to be anyone else.

Xabi let out another breath. Gathering his courage. He had to go through with it. He had to.

He rang the doorbell.

He knew. His kids were waiting on the other side. And their lives would be different after today. Forever.

Two homes. Two bedrooms. Two parents, living separate lives. Two families, not one.

And yet. Xabi was certain. That it would be good. Different. Yet better.

He just hoped they’d believe it too. His kids. At some point in the future at least.

It was her who opened the door. His now ex-wife.

Looking a little on edge. Her hair a little messy. Like she’d had a bad night of sleep. Xabi understood. He had not slept well either.

“Hi.”

He said. Simple. Yet kind. A little removed. He still had to get a grip on how to approach her properly now. Friendly, yet distanced. It was a balancing act. He would get the hang of it eventually.

“Hi!”

She whispered back. Like she was afraid someone would overhear. She looked over her shoulder once. Behind her. Before she started speaking again. Tone still hushed.

“I don’t think they know yet. I mean they probably know something is up. I don’t think they even understand the concept. ‘Divorce’ you know?”

She seemed restless in her rambling. A little frantic. She was obviously scared. Just like Xabi was. They both wanted this to go well. Good. At least they were on the same page here. But they couldn’t drag this out any longer. Xabi’s absence –though not entirely unusual– had probably NOT gone unnoticed. Even if the kids didn’t mention it, they were not stupid.

They understood more than one would think.

“Well? Uhm- maybe that’s good? We can redefine it? You know? Do it our own way? The whole ‘divorce’ thing?”

Xabi tried to force out a smile that didn’t seem nervous. Trying to seem reassuring. He was mostly trying to convince himself as well here.

She nodded now. Contemplating. Finally making way to let him step inside the house. They made their way to the dining area. Wordless. They had agreed on the place to tell them beforehand. The long dinner table just seemed right. Somewhere where they all could sit down. Appropriate. For something so serious. Something of this magnitude.

And now they stood there for a moment. At the long dinner table. Strong, dark wood. Ready to carry all the burdens they were going to spill on it during their conversation. The table would serve them just right. Xabi hesitated for a moment. Wondering. Should they call for them. Shout for them to come down for a moment? But just when he was about to ask his ex, he arrived.

Came around the corner like it was any other day.

His oldest.

Xabi was least worried about him. His son had somehow always been peace incarnate. Even as a baby he barely ever cried. So much so, that they got worried and saw a doctor about it. Parenthood couldn’t be that easy right? But there never had been anything wrong at all, he was just a very happy and content baby. Who now had grown into a very happy and content child. Now bordering on becoming a teenager.

Sometimes he wondered how him and his wife had managed to produce such a peaceful human being. Since they both weren’t perfectly rounded individuals. Xabi could be overly precise, over-corrective and she could get very snappy under stress. Ever since their son had entered their world though, he had always been a source of peace within the family. A calm corrective, that kept them in line. Sometimes it seemed their son was the most mature one in the entire family.

“Hi dad!”

A quick hug followed.

Just like always when Xabi got back. Like nothing had changed. But actually everything had.

“Hey buddy!”

Xabi ruffled his blonde hair a bit. Maybe he was getting a little too old to be babied by Xabi, but honestly he had never complained about it. And if he didn’t complain, Xabi would probably never stop babying him.

“Dad and I want to talk to all of you three for a bit. Do you think you could get your two sisters to come down for a bit?”

It was his ex. Taking the lead. Xabi felt incredibly thankful. He was completely out of his element here. He wasn’t really good at it. The feelings talk.

“Yeah? Sure–“

There was a quizzical look on his son’s face. A bit of confusion at the formal tone his mom was using. But he didn’t seem to want to question it further. Just nodded and went back upstairs to get his two sisters. Dutiful. That’s how his son was. Always doing as asked. He somehow never complained. One could think he was a bit slow or naive, but Xabi and his mother both knew better than that. He was just very non-confrontational, but he had his own ideas. His own values. His own thoughts and ambitions. He just never had been the type to voice them out loud. A quiet kid. Following his passions quietly, but with conviction. There was always a lot on his mind. Xabi was convinced he was smarter than all of them. Wise beyond his years somehow. Like he had drank from the fountain of wisdom right after birth.

“Daddy! You’re here!!!”

He heard her shout before he could even see her. His youngest. His princess. Their little maniac. She came running full speed around the corner now. Almost crashing into him. Throwing her little arms around him. Xabi had to let out a laugh. He could see his ex smiling a little sadly from the corner of his eye as he did. This was the last time. The last time they welcomed him home. Because after today. This would never be home again. This would be their home.

But not his.

Xabi lifted her up a little now. Lifting her into the air and spinning around once. Sending her feet flying while he held her inside a tight hug. He placed a little kiss on top of her head. Before he sat her down again.

“I missed you my princess!”

She let out a little giggle at that. Bright and happy like always. She had always been their little sunshine. Though she was not to be trifled with. His youngest daughter could be VERY headstrong. And if she wanted something, it was very hard to deny her. Funnily enough she was the one who reminded Xabi a little bit of Kylian. Determined, headstrong. A bit stubborn, yet so charming that nobody ever managed to get mad at her. She definitely was the most spoiled. On account of her being the youngest of course, but also because she was just very good at it. Getting what she wants. Letting herself be spoiled.

“Missed you more daddy!”

She almost shouted again. She was always VERY loud. She let out a giggle, running over to bother her brother again, who was already sitting at the dinner table. Dutifully waiting for whatever his parents had to say to him. Xabi’s heart melted a little, he was such a great brother, she could really be a demon sometimes. But he never got mad. He loved his little sister way too much.

“Hi dad.”

Xabi’s head snapped around.

She had already come down. He hadn’t even realized too busy watching the scene in front of him. And she was looking up at him. Skeptical. His baby. His second. His oldest daughter. The one that was most like him. Everyone said so. Not only the looks. But also the personality. Almost a carbon copy, if she wasn’t born a girl, she’d be his exact clone.

Xabi was most worried about her.

That she’d be hurt. But most of all that she already knew somehow. About everything. About Kylian. Because she was too smart for her own good. Because she questioned everything. Because she went through the world weary. To critical of everything, even herself. A perfectionist, just like him. Too focused on being right all the time, she forgot the bigger picture sometimes. That sometimes wisdom meant letting things go, not digging further. That sometimes harmony was more important than insistence. That sometimes not knowing everything was the better choice.

“Hi baby!”

She let herself be drawn into a hug. A bit resistant. It stung a little but Xabi would get over it. Of course her mind was already running on overdrive. Of course Xabi’s absence had started a carousel of thought processes inside her. She probably already knew about the divorce without a single soul telling her a thing about it. Her intuition was too fine tuned. It was almost scary sometimes.

It would be the hardest.

Lying to her. About why the divorce was happening. The reason him and her mom were breaking up NOW. Not telling her about Kylian. Because her mom didn’t want that yet.

Xabi already hated the thought.

She let go. Pulling herself out of Xabi’s embrace. Sitting down next to her brother now, who had managed to calm the little demon on his lap down now.

“What do you want to tell us?”

Is what she asked. Simple. Straight to the point. Of course. Right down to business. She really was too much like him. Xabi almost felt bad.

Xabi shot his ex a short look. And she gave him a quick nod.

Alright. It was time. This was it.

This would be it. Forever.

The moment that they told them. A key memory that would be with all three of them for the rest of their lives.

All Xabi hoped for was that they would get it right.

As right as they possibly could.

Chapter Text

It was 9pm once Xabi got home. His new home. His apartment. It had taken a very long time. Their talk. The kids. The divorce. They explained. Over and over. Trying to get it through to all three of them. What it would mean.

The why of it all.

And at some point Xabi had felt that it had stuck. That they had understood. Not the why. But at least that what.

Divorce. Happening. Now.

Their parents. Separated. Forever.

His son had been the quickest to accept the matter. More busy trying to create a harmonious atmosphere than to let sadness overtake him. And the little one – she didn’t seem that bothered. Xabi was not sure she really understood what it even meant. At least not the severity of it. But once she found out about having two different bedrooms inside two different places, she got way too excited to even care.

But his second. His clone. She of course understood what it meant. And Xabi could tell that she didn’t like it. Not one bit. She was also the most insistent on the ‘why’. And didn’t seem satisfied with any of the answers she was receiving.

“We grew apart over time.”

“We wanted to stick it out for you kids, but we realized it wouldn’t benefit you if we made you guys the reason we stayed together – unhappy.”

She wasn’t buying it. None of it. It was obvious. And she was angry. She was angry because she wasn’t buying it and she knew there was something else. She could feel it and Xabi sensed that she felt it. Something secret. Something untold. The real reason. The catalyst behind the divorce. Beneath the surface. Someone.

Kylian.

Xabi could feel it within her disapproving look boring into the side of his face. She knew Xabi was somehow the reason all of this was happening now. And she was blaming him.

Rightfully so. But it still felt like shit.

It hurt. A lot.

They had eaten dinner after their talk. All together. To somehow create some sense of normalcy before things would be forever changed. And it had been awkward.

Very much so.

Only himself, his ex and their son even trying to engage in normal conversation. It felt foreign. Rehearsed. Their conversational topics mundane. The house – the tiles had finally been redone. School – his son was about to join a special science program at his school for kids. Work – Xabi had outlined his plans for the season a little, though nobody really seemed all that interested. They felt like a broken family, playing happy family, because that’s exactly what they were doing in that moment.

Meanwhile his little one had been busy complaining about the pasta being the wrong shape all dinner. She always wanted the ones that look like little butterflies, though she could never remember what they were called.

But the real elephant in the room had been his older daughter. She wasn’t speaking. She wasn’t engaging. She wasn’t even looking at him. And after dinner was over all she managed was a short “Bye dad.” before she had vanished into her room upstairs.

That was that.

And now Xabi was home. Inside his empty apartment. Feeling horrible. All in all it hadn’t gone absolutely terrible. Their talk. But you couldn’t say it had went great either. Especially with his older daughter. He desperately hoped she would come around to the idea. That she would understand it. At least at some point in the future.

But Xabi knew that it wasn’t certain.

That just because you wanted things to go a certain way, it didn’t mean that they would. A football coach knows that more than anything. You can try to do everything perfect, set all the pieces correctly and still fail. Because in the end you can’t control people, you can’t dictate their emotions, their reactions. All you can do is stand and watch, hope that your plan somehow comes to fruition.

And if his daughter decided to never forgive him, there was not a single thing he could do about it. And that idea hurt. Really bad.

Xabi settled onto his new couch staring into the emptiness of his huge apartment. He kind of wanted to cry, but he had never been a real crier. He wasn’t good at that. He didn’t like wallowing in misery, he was more prone to try and find solutions to get out of it.

And one very quick fix and solution to uplift him recently was of course none other than Kylian. His cheat code to immediate happiness. Hearing his voice, preferably his laugh, seeing his eyes shine, his dimples crease deep. Just being close to him, feeling the softness of his nape or his steady heartbeat drumming excitedly against his chest.

His Kylian, his happy drug.

He had to call him.

Right now.

Before sadness and worry made a permanent home within his mind and heart.

A smile tugged at Xabi’s lips staring at Kylian’s contact on his phone. He still had him saved under “Kylian Mbappé (Real Madrid)”. Stupid. Formal. As if he had to specify. As if there would be another. Some other Kylian Mbappé out there, that wasn’t THE Kylian Mbappé at Real Madrid. But that’s just how Xabi had saved all his player’s numbers when he first arrived at Real. And now – even though he really wanted to – he wouldn’t change it. So he wouldn’t stand out, between all his other players.

Xabi let the phones ring and it took a long moment until Kylian finally picked up the call.

“Hey! Sorry!”

Was how Kylian picked up the phone. He seemed a little out of breath. Like he had rushed somewhere to talk in privacy. And why was he apologizing? For what?

“How did it go? Did it go well?”

Kylian’s voice sounded shrill. Anxious. And now Xabi could hear some silent commotion in the background of Kylian’s call. It sounded like music speakers bumping. Faded in the back.

“Are you out Kylian?”

Xabi asked cautiously. He didn’t want to spill his heart out if there was the possibility of someone overhearing. He also didn’t want to ruin Kylian’s night if he was having fun.

“Yeah? Sorry!”

He seemed genuinely sorry, ridiculous.

“Kylian please don’t apologize I just wanted to know.”

Xabi smiled a little to himself, while he said it. Kylian was endearing and cute as ever and the best part about it, he wasn’t even doing it on purpose. That’s just how he was.

“I’m at Vini’s. Aurel made me come, said he didn’t want to be alone with the crazies. Sorry I– I canceled on them too much recently, I couldn’t cancel again I–“

“Kylian for god’s sake please stop with the apologies!”

Xabi let out an exasperated chuckle now. Before he added.

“You’re allowed to have fun!”

“I wanted to be there for you tonight though! After your talk– you know!”

Of course Xabi knew. It was why he had called. Kylian kept going.

“I could leave, come to your place–“

No. Xabi didn’t want that. Well actually he wanted it more than anything else right now.

Kylian. Here. With him.

But he was honestly glad Kylian was spending some time with the guys. The team. Xabi was a little worried he was turning Kylian into a bit of a homebody –I mean the guy was 26, prime of his life. He should go out. Meet people. Have fun. They would always have the next day. Tomorrow. Xabi didn’t want to selfishly rip Kylian out of whatever he was doing at Vini’s. Well – actually he wanted to more than anything– but he wasn’t going to. Because he had decided on being mature tonight. So he interrupted Kylian before he could even make his full proposal.

“God no! Please have fun Kylian, we can talk tomorrow, go be with your friends hmmm?”

Xabi forced a bit of a lightness into his tone. Encouraging. Like he had not just been ready to cry about his daughter to him.

And Kylian’s response was –well– typical Kylian. Flirty. Trying to change Xabi’s mind that had already been set, just for the sake of it. Just because he could.

“I’m not even having fun, I’d have so much more fun with you…”

Xabi had to let out a deep chuckle at that, he could basically hear the pout through the phone. Kylian was way too clingy for his own good.

“I doubt I’d be much fun tonight Kylian, really! Go have some fun and don’t do anything stupid, yeah?”

Xabi tried again.

“Why?”

The anxious tone from earlier had returned into Kylian’s voice now.

“Did it not go well?!”

He asked now. Urgent.

“Don’t– Don’t worry. It went– It went alright. Just feeling a bit gloomy is all. I’ll be fine Kylian, we will talk properly tomorrow yeah?”

Xabi hoped that answer would be somewhat satisfactory. And it seemed to be, because now Kylian let out a small and resigned.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Xabi needed to reassure himself more than anything.

“Yeah okay!”

Kylian seemed a little disappointed at Xabi’s insistence to postpone their conversation to the next day, but he was coming around.

“I love you Kylian okay?”

“I love you too old man.”

It sounded a bit sad. Sad that the call would end. Sad that they wouldn’t talk tonight.

“Now go have fun! Keep my squad in check for me yeah?”

Kylian let out a small defeated chuckle at that.

“I’ll try! Can’t make promises on that though.”

He joked back.

“Well alright then.”

“Alright.”

“Okay?”

“Okay!”

Chapter Text

“Who was that on the phone mate? You basically ran out of here!”

It was Jude shouting and laughing brightly from his place on the couch as Kylian made his way back into the room. Of course it hadn’t gone unnoticed. Of course they couldn’t just leave him alone.

“Just my mom.”

Is what Kylian answered. Nonchalantly. As he got comfortable on the couch again. Next to Aurel. He could feel Aurelien stare at him as he did. And Kylian knew why. Aurel definitely understood who had been on the phone and why Kylian had sprinted out of here.

Oh well.

“Oh your mom is it now?”

Jude still sounded very amused.

“Yes my mom!”

Kylian was raising his eyebrows now in challenge, a bit irritated, because why couldn’t Jude just fucking leave him be right now. But the thing with Jude was –similarly to Kylian himself– he couldn’t let things go. Kylian couldn’t even really blame him. He never backed down from a challenge either.

“So you can’t pick up your mom’s call around us? Alright man!”

Jude was still smiling that stupid grin of his. Like he knew something more. Like everything was “oh so obvious” which– fuck. Kylian hoped it wasnt that obvious.

“Yeah I can’t because you guys are all horrible, she can’t have her chouchou around all these terrible influences now can she?”

Kylian leaned back against the couch now, crossing his arms, smiling a bit. Humor and a bit of insult was always the best way to get Jude to drop something. He hoped it would work this time as well.

Jude burst out laughing and Kylian could hear a small chuckle from Aurel beside him too. Trent who was sitting next to Jude didn’t dare laugh though, he probably felt he didn’t know Kylian well enough for that yet.

“Her ‘chouchou’.”

Jude put it in air quotes before he burst out laughing again.

“I swear french is a made-up language.”

He said now, catching his breath. Clearly still amused.

“Oh you’re just jealous because we have all the good food, the good fashion and the good words in France while all you’re eating is beans in cold weather!”

If Kylian had to play the smug, elitist, snappy french man right now to move the conversation away from his call with Xabi, that’s what he would do. Because he was really good at it and because Jude thought snappy, french Kylian was the most hilarious thing in the world for some reason.

“Careful now, Kylian your french is showing.”

Jude shot back, very happy with how the conversation was going. Of course. Jude just loved fake-fighting over nonsense too much. It was as fun to be his friend as it could be draining.

“Well good! I want it to show!”

Kylian said now. Once again very smug. Innerly relieved his little plan of distraction seemed to be working. But then unfortunately. Inevitably. Because Jude never could let stupid things go.

“But your french still can’t cover the fact that you’re hiding a secret girlfriend away from us, can it now Kylian?”

And to make matters worse, he had said it right when Cama and Vini were making their way back over. Cama had been trying to teach vini a certain dance-move for about half an hour now. Something about “the footwork is really hard, but once it clicks it clicks”. That’s why the music had been bumping loudly in the back when Xabi had called. But now that they were done –unfortunately– they had turned the music down a bit. And it was too quiet. And there was too much focus now. On him.

Fuck.

“You have a secret girlfriend?”

It was Cama drawing his eyes big in shock.

“Man we’re supposed to be the single ones, what are you doing!”

He was pointing between himself, Vini and Kylian now. Laughing a bit, acting like he was offended. He didn’t seem to actually be offended though.

“Don’t worry Edu, I DON’T have a girlfriend! Jude is just talking fucking nonsense!”

Kylian’s tone came out a little edged. Sharp. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to be in this situation. Like he was being interrogated. Forced to lie to his friends. And Kylian could feel the room atmosphere shift now, Trent sitting up a little uncomfortably. New kid on the block – it had to be awkward for him.

“Alright let’s calm it, yeah?”

Of course it was Aurel. Coming to the rescue. As always. Kylian was so fucking lucky that he was his friend. And he was so fucking lucky that it had been Aurel of all people, who had caught him and Xabi back in Miami – not anybody else.

“Sorry mate, I didn’t think you’d get that offended, it was just a joke. Alright?”

Kylian kind of hated that apology from Jude. Because he knew it wasn’t just a joke. He knew there had been some truth to it. They were probably all thinking it. Wondering. Why Kylian wasn’t around as much this season. Why he had become so distant. And this. This right here was the exact reason why. Kylian HATED lying. And he was basically lying to everyone these days. Well except for Xabi. And Aurel of course.

“It’s alright Jude really, don’t worry about it!”

Kylian waved his hand dismissively in the air now, but he hated how defeated he sounded. His own voice betraying him a bit. And he could see it. Worry creasing on everyone’s forehead. Even Aurelien’s. Because they could all tell there was going something on with him, but they couldn’t understand what it was. And even Aurel who knew, understood how difficult of a situation Kylian was in. Knowing wasn’t a relief to him either, Kylian hated that as well.

“It’s just, you’ve been so preoccupied lately, I thought there was someone that’s all. Sorry if I overstepped Kylian, yeah?”

Jude looked actually worried now. Genuine. Kylian felt like fucking shit. Because of course his friend was wondering where he spent all his time. And he was fucking right too. There was someone. Not just anyone. There was someone Kylian REALLY really cared about and loved so MUCH. And he wished he could tell everyone, he wished he could scream it from the fucking rooftops who it was. But you couldn’t always get what you wanted.

“I said it’s fine Jude, yeah? Let’s just talk about something else.”

Jude gave him a quick nod, still concerned, but definitely willing to move on now. And as if it was his duty for ruining the mood, Kylian was the one providing a new topic of conversation.

“Trent how have you been settling in? You like the city? We haven’t really caught up since you got here?”

Kylian shot him a blinding smile trying to hide all the uneasiness within him and Trent, who seemed very happy at the opportunity to finally get rid off the uncomfortable energy, gladly took the bait and started talking. Rambling. How difficult it was to get a place in the city. How weird it was to have more than just a couple days of summer. VERY different from England. How his girlfriend was liking it here as well.

And Kylian let the conversation wash over him, thankful, but not really relieved. Unable to relax, be in the moment.

The uneasiness had sunken deep into his bones the longer the night went on, it was so loud he had become unable to ignore. He felt exposed. Like his exterior was made of glass, like everyone could look right through it. See all the anxiety, worry and fear building up inside of him. He was probably becoming paranoid. He couldn’t even focus anymore on what the other’s were saying. The conversation had long moved on from Trent’s Madrid report now. Kylian wished he had just went over to Xabi’s. He’d be safe there. Less exposed. Comfortable. Protected.

But he knew that kind of thinking was dangerous. That he was digging a deeper hole for himself the more he let himself become avoidant. The more he didn’t show up. Absent from everything that wasn’t Xabi and him together.

He knew had to make a change. He couldn’t afford to become even more withdrawn. Even if it meant pushing through the uncomfortable stares sent his way. All the silent questions his friends were asking him. Without even having to say them out loud.

“Why are you avoiding us?”

“What are you not telling us?”

“Why are you keeping secrets?”

Chapter Text

Kylian had texted him.

A bunch. Late at night. Xabi was lucky he had even seen it, because he went to bed fairly early. Didn’t want to dwell on his thoughts too much. He kept thinking about his daughter’s silence at dinner, so he had decided to just call it a night early. And only when he had gotten up to use the toilet and was settling back down checking the time on his phone, only then had he discovered Kylian’s texts.

* miss you 💔💔💔
* tonight was horrible
* can I come over early tomorrow
* breakfast?
* wish I could come over right now
* we can spend the whole day together
* please 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
* you’re probably sleeping sorry 😞
* maybe I can play alarm-clock and come over to wake you up
* sleep well 😴
* just text me when you read this old man
* get your beauty sleep 👴
* miss u
* love you 🥺🥺🥺
* okay bye ✌️

Oh.

Xabi couldn’t help himself. A frown immediately made itself know on his face reading Kylian’s messages. What did he mean “tonight was horrible”? Xabi didn’t like the sound of it. Not one bit. He shifted in his bed, sitting up now. Kylian seemed upset about something. Xabi HATED the image. Kylian alone. Upset. Sitting in the back of his car. Driving home. Alone. Upset.

God. He HATED it. That Kylian couldn’t just come over to his whenever he needed him. Or that he couldn’t get into his car and drive over to Kylian’s right now. He had never even been over to Kylian’s place. Not ONCE. He wanted to see how he lived. The things he owned. Where he slept, where he relaxed, where he brushed his teeth. But everything was difficult. Kylian had explained it to him many times. Actual people were living at Kylian’s place. Staff. Mainly his assistant.

“She sees right through me, I really can’t bring you over, sorry.”

Is what Kylian had said while chuckling a little and back then Xabi even thought it was funny. But now he didn’t find it funny at all. Because he just wanted to go over there and find wherever place Kylian had gone to bed alone and upset in and cuddle it all out of him. But he couldn’t so instead he answered.

* tonight was horrible
— Who do I need to kill?

* can I come over early tomorrow
— Come over as early as you like Kylian! I’m awake now and waiting for you! ❤️

* maybe I can play alarm-clock and come over to wake you up
— You’d be the best and the cutest alarm clock of all time!

* miss u
— Me too! Always!

* love you 🥺🥺🥺
— I love you more than anything!

Kylian had woken up at 7:33am sent him a quick reply and by 8:20am Xabi’s doorbell was already ringing. A smile tugged at Xabi’s lips as he let the elevator up. He had seen him mere days ago. But somehow it was never enough.

And when the door opened. Kylian wasted no time. Already crashing into him. No ‘hello’, no ‘good morning’. Just a very VERY tight hug, one that he desperately seemed to need, burying his face deep into Xabi’s shoulder. And Xabi closed his arms around him like he always did whenever Kylian hugged him like that. Warm, careful and protective. He let his right hand wander to Kylian’s neck for a bit. Stroking the soft skin there. Because he knew it was soothing to Kylian. And sure enough, after a little while, Kylian was already exhaling some of the tension claiming his body into Xabi’s neck.

He pulled back now. Out of Xabi’s embrace. Very suddenly. Like he was remembering something.

“How– How’d it go? Yesterday? With your Kids? Are you okay?”

Selfless. Dutiful. Kylian was obviously out of it and yet the first thing he wanted to be was a good boyfriend. Xabi’s heart did a little flip, because he couldn’t do anything but adore him. He started patting Kylian’s shoulder now.

Calm, soothing.

“Alright Kylian!”

Xabi chuckled a little.

“Calm down. Why don’t you tell me what’s up with you first and then we can talk about my stuff hmmm?”

Xabi smiled at him now. Warm and reassuring. Careful. Because he knew that Kylian could get skittish and avoidant when something was bothering him. Rather swallowing it down than making himself the topic of discussion. But Xabi wouldn’t let him get away with that. No! Never!

“It’s stupid.”

Kylian said now. Quietly. And after a short pause he added.

“Really it’s stupid Xabi!”

“I bet it isn’t Kylian if you’re this upset, hmmm?”

And he drew him into a tighter hug again.

“You can tell me yeah? I won’t think it’s stupid!”

He placed a small kiss against Kylian’s temple.

“But your thing is more important–“

Is what Kylian mumbled against him now. Xabi wouldn’t let that stand.

“You’re the most important person to me, everything that goes on with you is important to me okay Kylian? Just tell me!”

Xabi loosened his grip a little so he could look into Kylian’s eyes now. Prompting him to finally speak.

“It’s just. Uhm–“

Kylian started.

“Just Jude he– he implied to everyone that I have a secret girlfriend or something–“

Kylian’s eyes were trained down now. Like he was embarrassed.

“I told you it’s stupid!”

Xabi didn’t even entertain that last part.

“And what did you say hmmm?”

“Well that I don’t have a secret girlfriend–“

“Basically not a lie is it?”

Xabi was smiling a bit. Though he understood how that situation might have made Kylian feel upset.

“Yeah but I got upset, because Jude kept pestering me, so I think nobody actually bought it–“

“I know you hate lying, I’m sorry Kylian.”

“Well as you said, I technically didn’t lie, but yeah…”

“At least Aurel knows hmmm? You don’t have to lie to him!”

“Yeah–“

Kylian raised his head a bit again. Looking into Xabi’s eyes now.

“It’s just. They all look at me like I’m an alien now. Something they cannot understand– Maybe I’m deeping it too much, but it makes me feel so weird…”

“No, no I get it Kylian. I understand!”

And after a short moment Xabi said it. Because it seemed like a good enough moment.

“My older daughter looked at me like that too, yesterday, after we broke the news–“

“Oh Xabi I’m sorry–“

The crease on Kylian’s forehead immediately deepened.

“Yeah. I wanted to tell her so badly. About you, just so she might understand a little better, you know–“

“Yeah, I know–“

Kylian’s left hand wandered down now, grabbing Xabi’s hand with a strong grip. Like he wanted to transfer energy, strength.

“She will understand Xabi! I’m sure!”

Kylian looked very determined now. Like he wanted to make the universe bend to his will. Xabi appreciated the gesture though he wasn’t sure it was that easy.

“Yeah, I hope so too, Kylian! Eventually hmm?”

He gave Kylian an encouraging nod.

“Yeah eventually!”

Kylian pondered for a moment. Before he asked again.

“Do you want to talk more about it? Yesterday I mean?”

And Xabi loved him for making the conversation optional. He appreciated it so much. Because actually he really didn’t want to talk about it right now.

“Not really-“

Xabi let out a quiet chuckle. Kylian started nodding. Forehead still creased deep, like he was thinking on how to approach what he should say next. Xabi found it adorable sometimes. How loudly Kylian was always thinking. How expressive his face was. It really had to be very hard for him to lie, he wore his heart on his sleeve. Xabi wanted to break him out of his thoughts a little. Losen the mood.

“But hey! You know what?”

He said now excitedly.

“Hmmm?”

“The divorce finally went through!”

Xabi shook Kylian a little by his shoulders.

“Really?”

There was an immediate lightness returning into Kylian’s eyes now. A sparkle. Obviously delighted with the news.

“Yup! I’m no longer a married man! Most available Bachelor in town I’d say!”

Xabi had a smug smile on his face while he said it and Kylian hit his chest amusedly.

“Ouch! What as that for?”

Kylian pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows.

“You know!”

“Do I?”

Xabi leaned in. Closing the distance a bit. He felt much better about his day already.

“Well first of all you’re NOT available and secondly I’d be the most available bachelor in town if you were, so–“

Kylian smiled now. Tempting.

“Oh Kylian. You’ll never be available again, I hope you know that!”

Xabi answered. Assured. Teasing. Confident.

“Yeah?”

Kylian was really enjoying this.

“Yeah.”

“You’ll really have to hold me down old man! Everyone wants a piece of me.”

Xabi shook his head. He hated that Kylian knew. Knew what kind of magnetic force he was.

“Oh, I’ll hold you down alright.”

Kylian let out a loud chuckle at that. A cackle almost. But then he reined it in a little. Tone becoming a little more serious again.

“So how are you feeling? About the divorce I mean?”

“Alright I guess.”

Xabi shrugged. He was pretty much over it at this point. The matter had been settled in his mind weeks ago. It was just finally official now.

“Just alright?”

Xabi shrugged again.

“I think I’d be taking the news of my divorce worse if I didn’t have an adorable boyfriend waiting for me, hmmm?”

“Oh please!”

Kylian was shaking his head now. Annoyed yet simultaneously amused.

“What?”

Xabi couldn’t help but to smile. Sometimes Kylian was way too easy to embarrass. Just had to call him adorable and he became a little mess.

“Just–“

Kylian waved his hand around in the air now, struggling to articulate what he was feeling.

“Just stop! With that!”

He was pointing an accusatory finger right at Xabi’s chest now, cheeks reddening a bit from embarrassment. Xabi had the urge to pull Kylian closer again so he did, deciding to let his hands rest at Kylian’s waist now. To let his intentions be known. And he was staring right at him now. Staring him down, like a threat. Or an invitation.

“Yeah? What you don’t like being called adorable Kylian?”

It was like a drug, staring into the dark of his eyes. Xabi could never get tired of it. And there was something like challenge sparkling in Kylian’s eyes now. Beautiful. Of course – his Kylian being ever defiant. Never going down without a fight.

“I’d say I’m more so sexy and hot– or handsome! Confident!”

Kylian tried to sound unbothered. Calm and collected. Lips pursing disapprovingly again. But his cheeks were still red as a beet.

“No Kylian, sexy is your second attribute.”

Xabi put on a scolding tone almost. Like a teacher, because Xabi needed the message to get through. Make Kylian realize that first and foremost he was adorable.

“Your first attribute is definitely cute or adorable and the third I’d say pretty!”

Kylian looked a bit dumbfounded.

“Cute, sexy, pretty?”

He raised his eyebrows, didn’t seem quite satisfied with the answer. Xabi had to hold back a chuckle, because why was Kylian so confused with those three choices. It made him look adorable –once again– no matter how hard he wanted to deny it.

“Exactly!”

Xabi was nodding in approval now.

“What so you think I’m cute while you fuck me too?”

Kylian deadpanned.

“Matter of fact I do! Yes Kylian, see? Now you get it!”

Xabi couldn’t help but be incredibly amused at the route this conversation had taken.

“That’s kind of sick if you ask me!”

Kylian shook his head now. Lightly, a bit disapproving. But not really.

“Yeah? You think so?”

Xabi let his hands wander down now. Giving Kylian’s ass a little squeeze. Finally they were getting somewhere.

“Do you want me to stop then Kylian? Hmmm?”

“Huh?!”

“Maybe you’re right, maybe I’m too sick for someone adorable like you, hmm?”

Kylian’s cheeks were painting even redder now.

“Xabi stop.”

“Alright, I will!”

And he was actually pulling back. Hands leaving Kylian’s hips behind, making a big deal out of it. Dramatic. Playful. Fun.

“No!”

It was a whine. Music to Xabi’s ears.

“Not like that– just stop talking so much!”

Kylian eyes had turned even bigger. Pleading. Like he was begging Xabi to please just get down to it without all the song and dance this time. But this was going just how Xabi liked it. Which both of them knew. He had missed it. Playing around with Kylian a little. Teasing him a bit, just for the fun of it. Just to see him squirm.

“What now you don’t want me to stop? I’m quite confused here Kylian, could you please explain?”

Xabi had a bright grin on his face now, because he knew Kylian would if he insisted. Kylian would explain the entire history of the world and the universe to Xabi if Xabi asked him to.

“Are you really going to make me spell it out?”

Kylian’s voice had turned permanently whiny now, quite to Xabi’s pleasure and delight.

“Well yeah! I don’t want to overstep your boundaries now, do I?”

Xabi drew his brows together in concern. But they both knew it was an act.

“Oh please– You know I don’t have any boundaries when it comes to you Xabi–“

It came out of Kylian without a second thought. Something that Xabi already knew, but it was still nice to hear it again. Out of Kylian’s mouth. Another confirmation. Of all the things he was allowed to do to his Kylian. Their agreement still in place. Their safe word that had never even been used. Marlene a silent witness to all of their shenanigans. Maybe Kylian was right. Maybe Xabi was a little sick. But how couldn’t he be? With Kylian Mbappé at his disposal to with as he pleased.

“No boundaries huh? And you wonder why I’m sick Kylian?”

“Well I never said that ‘sick’ was a bad thing, did I?”

Kylian was drawing close again. Wanting. Definitely eager for Xabi to place his hands back where they belonged. At Kylian’s hips. Or his neck or his thighs or his ass or wherever. Just anywhere that meant that Xabi was finally touching him again.

“So you want me to be sick hmmm?”

“Maybe?”

“Well then you’re not allowed to complain so much hmmm?”

Xabi rested his hands back at Kylian’s waist now. Drawing circles with his thumbs against his hipbones.

“Okay.”

Kylian answered quietly. Turning mushy beneath Xabi’s touch and attention already.

“So if I fuck my adorable boyfriend and tell him how cute he looks all fucked out he won’t complain?”

Xabi was already imagining it. Who could blame him. Though he knew the real thing would be even better. And Kylian was getting all docile now.

“No?”

Perfect.

“See? That’s my good boy! Isn’t that right Kylian?”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes Coach?”

Xabi was already falling into it. Completely. Kylian was just so easy. So good. Always so ready to surrender. Xabi wondered if it would ever stop to drive him crazy. He really doubted it.

“So what does my good boy want? Hmmm?”

Kylian waited for a moment. Cheeks still red.

“Fuck me?”

“Whole sentences Kylian!”

“Please fuck me Xabi? I really need it–”

“You always need it, huh? Greedy boy! It’s barely 9am!”

Xabi tugged on his arm now, pulling him along, while scolding him a little. All in good fun though.

“How about you give me something I need first!”

They had arrived at Xabi’s living room couch now. And Xabi was sitting down. Making himself comfortable. Using his right hand to push Kylian down by his shoulder now.

“Come on Kylian kneel down for me yeah?”

And of course Kylian did. Right there on the ground between Xabi’s spread legs. Big-eyed staring up at him.

“My mouth?”

Kylian asked dumbly now, since it was pretty obvious.

“No Kylian. Your PRETTY mouth–“

Xabi rested his hand against the side of Kylian’s face while correcting him.

“See?”

He decided to let his thumb push Kylian’s plush lips around for a bit. Before he rested it on top of Kylian’s tongue, holding his mouth open. Very inviting. What a pretty sight. Kylian quickly let his mouth close around him. Suckling slightly. Xabi almost let out a groan. Starting to push his thumb in and out slowly now. And Kylian played into it. Bobbing his head a bit. Eyes big and wanting. Pleading.

A dark, knowing smile was playing along Xabi’s lips now.

“See Kylian? You’re adorable!”