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the doll and the toy, the boy and the goddess, the girl and the murderer: a joke for the ages

Summary:

The God was curious about the boy.

The girl was, too.

“Osamu-kun, do you ever wonder if you're a doll?”

Notes:

I always vaguely wanted to do Madoka and Dazai interacting after seeing some edits with them and some art... but I never really got around to it. But then I read the above fic and was like !!! I HAVE to write these two. Thus, this. Dazai and Madoka as an unlikely friendship forever <3 except this is a lot more existential dread/horror-y than the above fic? Only a bit though lol, it's not a full on horror or anything I don't think ....

Chapter 1: the punchline

Chapter Text

A doll and a toy, a boy and a goddess, a girl and a murderer walk into a teahouse. 

This is the punchline:

“Osamu-kun,” the doll asks the toy, “Do you ever wonder if you're a doll?”

“What a silly question,” the boy tells the God. “A doll is much too kind a descriptor for me.”

The girl tilts her head, as the God smiles. “Do you think puppet is more accurate, then?”

The toy stares at her with wide eyes, before he laughs. “What about you, Madoka?” He asks her.

“Of course I'm a doll,” she replies. “Don't you know, this whole world is her tea party?”

“Who?” The murderer asks, blinking.

The girl blinked back. “Who, what?”

“Just who is this world a plaything to?”

The girl smiles nervously. “I don't know what you're talking about,” she says. The God smiles with her. “Osamu, she won't remember this conversation. She's the doll.”

The toy blinks, and blinks, and blinks. Then he smiled. “Madoka-kun, you are very interesting,” says the murderer.

The girl flushed. The doll smiled. The goddess laughed. 

“So are you, Osamu-kun,” they demurred. 

He laughs and doesn't stop. 

(Neither does she.)

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