Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Today was a special day…

Subaru walked inside the familiar store, rubbing away exhausted eyes as he scanned the items in each small aisle.

In it, he considered grabbing a final snack before changing his mind.

It wasn’t long until he reached a small array of cutlery, forks, knives, and spoons, all displayed and hung about with their price tags being listed at the edge. He possibly considered getting a pair of flatware, but he didn’t need them.

Taking another moment, he had his eyes on an individually packaged knife; it didn’t look unique, but it was now a specialty among the other utensils. Carefully, he grabbed it.

He only needed this, but Subaru also knew it would look creepy as hell if he just bought a knife this late at night, so he decided that perhaps the snack wasn’t such a bad idea.

He didn’t care about what he grabbed; he just saw a small package of chips and took two of them with him.

Setting them in front of the cashier was awkward. The cashier raised a brow at Subaru but chose not to say anything…but upon closer inspection, Subaru could tell the cashier was a little nervous while ringing him up.

But they didn’t exchange words, the cashier either thought he was planning on murdering somebody or was some weird dude who bought things like a knife this late at night. Either way, they didn’t seem paid enough to care.

As Subaru walked out of the store, he wasn’t sure where to go.

He could return home…

But he’d prefer not. What was the point?

Feeling a sudden gust of wind in the night, he shivered a little. Subaru tightened his pale, white tracksuit and zipped it up a little more.

Unsure of what to do next, he decided to just wander the streets like some homeless man until he figured enough was enough.

Walking on the sidewalk, he only encountered a young couple that walked by, eyeing him with a bit of concern, but they smiled regardless. Besides them, it was just a few cars and their blinding headlight that zipped past him.

God…he looked so pathetic.

But those thoughts went away, as a new thought came in. A thought that plunged its way into his mind like it had lived there all its life.

I love you…

Subaru couldn’t help but feel a morbid happiness from hearing those words often spoken to him.

I love you…

Subaru ended up near a park, walking in the path of the curved walkway as the wind picked up and some burst of energy zoomed past him, but not catching his eye.

I love you.

It was more direct. It always was when the shadow felt more comfortable speaking to him.

I love you.

Subaru’s eye caught sight of a bench, an empty one in the darkness, as he sighed in defeat, looking at it. He recalled playing with his father as his mother watched from the bench.

I love you.

Accepting that enough was enough, he strolled his way over there, with his heart beginning to increase in beats the closer he got. It was like the bench was a guillotine, all set up and ready for the audience of shadows to watch. They weren’t happy, but it wasn’t like Subaru was giving them a choice. He was putting his head through, and he would drop the blade himself if he needed to. Subaru can be a crafty young man; he could do it.

I love you!

Those whispers from the abyss strengthened as its pull tugged on Subaru’s heart and mind as if it were directing his sight away from the bench. But Subaru ignored it. This time he will.

I LOVE YOU!

Subaru’s ears were pierced by the burst of sound from the darkness. Nonetheless, he was a stubborn person, so he continued his way to the bench, nearly getting there.

He was so close, nearly in arm’s reach, where he could sit down and watch the distant lake.

But…

He never reached it, he was about to rest his hand on the seat of the bench before another powerful wave of darkness flooded his surroundings, the brief sight of a hand reaching to his heart before he blinked and…

And then a light.

He…wasn’t in the park anymore. Subaru was somewhere else. A town? A city? Wherever he was, Subaru recognized the architecture of the buildings and the clothes of those passing by him as those from medieval times.

Then came the sight of the people that he was surrounded by. Although some looked human, others had animal features, and a few were just blatant animals on hind legs.

The evidence was clear.

Looking up in the sky, he muttered to himself,

“ I was summoned to a new world… ”

Then questioned himself,

“Did she…bring me here?”

“ Why did she do that… ”

Why. Why. Why. Why! WHY! WHY!

Subaru sighed in quiet defeat...he hardly stayed angry for long,

‘I suppose it doesn’t matter, it’ll be postponed, that’s all…if I’m going to be here and no longer in Japan, then I might as well explore, right?’

That’s what he did. He looked around, more questions entering his thoughts with every second he explored.

Was this…the country of Lugnica? She mentioned this place before. She wanted me to visit it someday…

Subaru always assumed it was just either some small location that she came from…or in some insane spirit world, but now that he thought about it, Subaru wouldn’t be surprised if it was just this place.

He walked around carefully, not desiring to look anyone in the eye. But as he went, Subaru realized how much he was standing out. His clothes didn’t match, he was walking alone, he had a grocery bag that contained a knife and unknown bags of chips, and he was walking like he had committed a murder.

He was every red flag imaginable.

Examining the signs, he also realized another issue…

He couldn’t read the language.

‘Now this sucks, is this really her final shot in making me not give up? Wasn’t that the better option for both of us? I would be in her grasp forever, right? My spirit would've danced within her hands, and we would've been together in the garden of shadows, right? I would've happily accepted it...’

'Unless there came an issue in staying in the Shadow Garden...if that was it...Then I can see... never mind,' Subaru brushed the thought away.

But then came another curiosity in the young man with raven hair.

‘If I got transported to this world, do I get magical powers like in those anime?’ Subaru wondered, extending his hand. He didn’t feel any different. ‘Probably not, if she could, I don’t see why she didn’t give me any beforehand. If I had to guess, it would be more plausible if she purposefully didn’t give any, so I had to rely on her, she always had that fear, I suppose.’

It made him a little frustrated, but he didn’t mind at the end of the day. What did he think he was, a protagonist?

‘Then again, I do have a main character-like backstory…’

Subaru pushed those memories away, for now, today was a special day.

In a way, it could be considered like his birthday…just a little different.

Before he dwelt on the thought a little more, in the distance, there were shouts. At first, he assumed they were on him like usual until he noticed them pointing in terror of a child being on the road(?).

Dragoncarriages were running down it at dangerous speeds and would trample the child if nothing was done about them. The child must’ve fallen over, left behind by some irresponsible parent.

Or maybe he was just assuming things.

Staring at the scene, Subaru wondered if he could do anything about it.

From his distance, and knowing her, probably not. She wouldn’t bother anyway; it wasn’t like her. Whenever that side of her came out, which was like three out of five times, she always prioritized him and only him.

If this were a moment to get abilities, now would be the time to activate them.

Subaru lazily extended his arm, unsure of what he was even doing.

As the dragons came rushing in, stomping and getting closer to the doomed child, there Subaru was, making himself look even weirder with his half-extended arm and curled fingers.

His hand shook. Subaru tried forcing something out, but it wouldn't cooperate, not that there was anything to even expect from it.

Cries could be heard for the poor child, but no one did anything. Subaru hated that about others, the idea of just standing there when anyone could’ve been brave enough to just run and get the child out of the way.

What was it called? The bystander effect?

Then again…what the hell was he doing? Standing there pretending like he’s putting in effort.

The doomed child was about a couple of feet from getting trampled, and others looked away from the sight. But miraculously, a couple of animal-like humans rushed in and got the child out of the way while everyone cheered. Come to think of it, Subaru recalled her mentioning about "Demihumans", perhaps that's what they were...

Subaru didn’t cheer; he just turned around and walked off.

He was an idiot.

He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel relieved…He was glad the child could hopefully return home to a loving family…but also, now he’s questioning how the child even ended up there…

Traversing throughout the area, he wound up sitting in an alleyway, taking his time to open up his bag and looking inside. He still had his knife, which he figured was useless if it stayed in the package, so he opened it up, letting the sun reflect off of it as Subaru looked at his faint reflection.

There, he contemplated what to do next. He could just continue as planned or perhaps take the time to know more about this world. Maybe something can pique his interests…he knew that she would want the ladder.

Feeling a rumbling in his stomach, Subaru figured it wouldn’t hurt to eat the chips he bought, one shall do. Opening one with a bit of force, Subaru then began tasting the potato chips, which had a small…onion flavor to them; he didn’t mind.

But about halfway through the small bag, Subaru couldn’t help but hear somebody approaching. Multiple people. Their steps almost echoed in the darkness of the alleyway. Subaru got up, knife in hand, wondering if it was a true danger or just her messing with him like she sometimes did back home.

It didn’t take long before an absurd trio walked up to him. One was half of Subaru’s height and looked easy to kick like a soccer ball; he also had a bowl cut. The middle one was lanky, had bizarre cyan hair with pink streaks, and a collar around his neck; he seemed almost like the leader of the three. Then the third was a large man, a bit overweight, and wearing a funny white hat.

They were thugs…no way they weren’t.

 “Hey there, are you lost?” the lanky one asked, clearly not out of concern.

Subaru didn’t say anything.

The lanky one didn’t take it too kindly.

“I asked if you’re lost?”

Subaru still didn’t say anything. His grip on his knife tightened.

The three didn’t seem to be at all patient with Subaru’s response (or the lack thereof)as they threateningly walked closer to Subaru, the small one keeping an eye on Subaru’s knife. The big one cracked his knuckles while the lanky one pulled out a small knife and displayed it to Subaru.

“Hey! When someone asks you something, it’s polite to answer back!” the big one yelled at the still unresponsive soon-to-be victim.

“Cough up whatever you got, unless you want to be hurt!” the lanky one threatened, still displaying the knife. Subaru couldn’t help but notice that at a glance, their eyes seemed hesitant. Like, to them, Subaru was abnormal.

It was true, Subaru was a little abnormal.

Especially when the shadows began to whisper from some distant area that could never be seen.

I love you…

The three were getting visibly annoyed at Subaru’s lack of verbal response. The lanky one held the knife closer to Subaru’s neck.

Please…fight…

I love you…

“If ya’ want to play it that way, then fine! I’ll kill ya’ and take everything, starting with that weird jacket of yours!” the lanky one continued to threaten, glancing at the knife Subaru held now and then. It stayed frozen in Subaru’s grip.

‘It’s actually a tracksuit…not a jacket…’ But Subaru didn’t say anything.

Then another voice came in.

“Outta’ my way!” a girl a little younger than Subaru was running by.

Subaru was at first curious if she had come to help, but he knew that would be too good to be true. Who would help him? Besides, she looked to be in a rush.

The thugs turned around in alarm at the passerby.

Please fight.

Please. I love you…

The girl stopped; she seemed to have tattered clothes, a red scarf, and blonde hair tied with a bow in the back.

“Woah there…what’s up with ya’,” the girl commented.

Subaru didn’t respond.

“Go away, he’s with us!” the small thug yelled. “We’re just havin’ a nice chat…”

The girl clearly didn’t buy it; she could easily tell this was a mugging.

Nonetheless, she shrugged,

“Well, I’ll leave ya’ to it, good luck!” the blonde girl then hopped up the walls of the buildings on both sides before she reached the roof and ran off. As she did, she shouted,

“By the way, use your knife, random idiot!”

Out of coincidence, the shadow also advised,

Fight back. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. Fight. Fight. Stab. Kill. Don't let yourself be hurt. You're hurt.

‘O-Okay…fine…just...please don’t kill them if anything goes south…’

Subaru figured enough was enough; if he was going out, it would be on his terms, not some thieves. That would ruin the special day.

The trio was at first in shock seeing the way the blonde girl got up the buildings so quickly that they didn’t notice Subaru clutching his knife and thrusting forward.

He missed.

The lanky one stepped back in time and swiped at Subaru, grazing his left shoulder.

Subaru didn’t even know what he was doing; he considered just bolting it. But that chance was ruined when the big one punched Subaru, hitting his jaw and knocking him back. He fell roughly to the ground.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

‘I know, I know…’ Subaru thought with a little bit of annoyance. Sometimes when you say you love someone repeatedly, it can get a little dull, especially over the years. But he still liked the feeling of being loved by the only thing that could possibly love him.

The trio then came over, ready to beat him up and probably take whatever he had. He was broke, pretty much penniless, as he spent all of the money that he had on person for a knife and two bags of chips.

He wasn’t sure what they would even steal. His bags of chips? His tracksuit(to be fair, that might be bad)? His knife…?

No. They can’t take his knife. It’s his, it’s from his world, and it’s supposed to be the key to his special day. The party at the end, where he and the shadow can be together…since that was all he had left.

Ignoring the pain on his jaw(it hurt like a bitch), Subaru still had a death grip on his knife as he quickly got up, ready for the assault.

He didn’t have much time to think as the thugs were right on him, so he resorted to stabbing the first thing he saw…which was the lanky one.

The other two were stunned for a moment as the lanky guy backed up with Subaru’s knife thrusted into the side of his abdomen before being roughly pulled out.

“Gah!” the lanky guy yelped and screamed. “Fuck! Fuck! You…You…!”

“Why you little…! You’re going to–” the big one first yelled before noticing the small thug.

There were sounds of vomiting and coughing that came from the small one. Subaru looked over, the small one was on the ground, kneeling, with a small yet increasingly larger puddle of blood beneath his head. Upon closer inspection, the small one’s eyes seem to be leaking blood as he once again vomited.

Next to him was the knife that the small thug dropped; it belonged to the lanky thug. The small thug must’ve grabbed it and tried to stab Subaru with it, but ended up on the ground because of her.

Subaru knew exactly what this was…he had seen it before.

She was crushing the small thug's heart.

Subaru didn’t shudder much; he had gotten used to it…but it still disturbed him a little. He wanted to say something…to yell at her to stop…but he couldn’t. Nothing came out of Subaru as he just stood there, frozen like a statue.

‘P-Please…I told you not…you promised you wouldn’t…’

I love you. I love you. I love you.

A pause in the speech of the shadow.

I’m sorry…

Then it stopped, the small one stopped vomiting, like his heart was no longer being crushed. Instead, he collapsed, still breathing miraculously.

Subaru smiled at this, happy that she spared him.

He must’ve forgotten that he looked creepy as hell, smiling like that while the small one almost died via heart crushing, and he also stabbed the lanky one who was currently clutching his side and bleeding quite a bit.

The big thug pointed and screamed at him,

“Y-You! You won’t be getting away with this! I’LL KILL–”

“Hold it right there!” a new voice came in from across the alley where the previous girl came from.

‘Is she with the other girl? Or is she chasing her? Is she a friendly person who came to help?’ Subaru wondered about this new girl. Then…he realized how awful this situation looked. There he was, bloodied knife in hand, a small guy collapsed after vomiting blood, a lanky guy on the ground bleeding from being stabbed, and a big guy who was disturbed and yet angry at Subaru. To put it bluntly, he did NOT look like the victim here…

But any thought went away as Subaru took a closer look at the new girl.

His eyes widened.

With silver long hair, pointed ears, and purplish eyes, she looked like an angel without wings. White and purple clothes swayed in the wind alongside her hair, with eyes that sparkled with determination.

‘Is that…her? How? Is that Satella…?’

They looked stupidly similar…it was beyond uncanny.

I love you. She doesn’t. She isn’t me! I love you. I love you.

‘Well, that confirms it…but still…’

Subaru could just hear the increasing jealousy she had over this other half-elf that looked just like her.

The big thug didn’t waste time; he just grabbed his two bleeding buddies and started running past the half-elf who looked like Subaru's best friend, his only true friend across all worlds.

As this other one ran forward, she determinedly stepped forward, assessing the situation a bit before declaring,

“I will not allow you to hurt these three or anyone else anymore! I simply cannot ignore what I’ve seen!”

‘What…’

Subaru recalled back to how it looked from an outside perspective afterward...

‘Fuck…’

Just for future reference and visualization, this is what he looked like.

Art done by me, Glitched_Ghosty/Pancake404. I also do art for Beheaded IF Extras for Jackson55360, also on AO3.

Chapter Text

Subaru didn’t know how to respond…he could say something, but nothing came out of his mouth; he just stood there, his lips shaking like trying to mutter something.

“Now then, what do you have to say for yourself?” the mistaken angel asked.

Subaru still said nothing…over the years, he’d gone down the social department back at home. He was always afraid that if he said something wrong or too revealing, Satella would have to keep others quiet…at first, she was violent, always used the quickest and deadliest methods. Nowadays, she would scare anyone; it was quick and harmless…that moment with the small thug was not one of those examples, but thankfully, Satella spared him.

He wouldn’t feel too bad about it, definitely not cry over it, but he personally doesn’t like to see that side of Satella.

At the end of the day, Subaru learned that sometimes, for everyone’s safety and to maintain his sanity, keeping his mouth shut was the easiest and safest option.

It’s best not to talk…even if it creates inconveniences.

Speaking about that…

“Nothing to say? Very well, let me introduce you to my Great Spirit, Puck!” The mistaken angel prepared herself in an unfamiliar stance as a second contender arrived. A small, gray flying cat with beaming cyan eyes came from behind the girl, winking mockingly. “Together, we’ll put an end to your hurtful ways. First, you steal my insignia, and then you go out of your way to hurt those three?”

‘What is she even talking about? I don’t remember any insignia?’

Subaru’s mind recalled the blonde girl who went past them all.

She must’ve been the one who stole it and was running away. Now here he was being blamed for it…

Subaru loosened his grip on the knife as he zipped down his tracksuit and used the underside of it to wipe away the blood, hoping the stain wouldn’t reveal itself on the outside.

The mistaken angel seemed to have thought this was Subaru preparing for a fight, since a small bright light appeared a little above her head and then formed into a triangular shape made of ice.

There were three ice projectiles floating above her head as she prepared to launch them, just in case, with the gray cat watching quietly.

Subaru heard the words of the witch call out through him.

She. Won’t. Dare. 

I love you. I love you.

She won’t dare.

Not wanting to escalate this into a fight(which can escalate this to a funeral…), Subaru waved at the half-elf.

To be honest, though, Subaru wouldn’t mind dying by someone who looked angelic like the woman in front of her. He wasn’t sure if it was her or if it was because she looked like Satella. Most likely the ladder. Either way, it was way better than the thugs that would be considered level two in video game terms.

He shook his head, humming and mumbling profusely as he carefully put the knife in the pocket of his tracksuit; luckily, it was able to just barely fit.

The mistaken angel looked confused. She didn’t seem sure how to respond to Subaru. She looked Subaru up and down. Subaru knew she was wondering if this was a trap or not.

“Lia…I have a feeling he wasn’t the one who stole your insignia,” the Great Spirit Puck finally explained. “He doesn’t seem to want to fight. I can tell by his emotions, he is not lying about shaking his head… unless there is something else to it. ”

“W-Wait…you aren’t on her side?” Emilia questioned.

‘Her’ probably means the blonde one.

Subaru shook his head again with the same hums.

“ Mm. Mm, ” Subaru insisted, looking away from her eyes.

Emilia took the information in, now looking more confused. She did seem to believe him…but he wasn’t sure since he avoided her eyes. She looked like she was going to get rid of the ice shards, but still kept them up.

“I could’ve sworn she ran by…. n-never mind. If you didn’t, then why did you hurt those three?” the mistaken angel demanded. She tried to seem threatening, but Subaru wasn’t feeling it…even if he was at projectile point.

Subaru simply pointed at his jaw, where a bruise was probably starting to form, given how hard he was hit. He then looked around and noticed that the knife of the lanky one was on the ground after being dropped twice, and pointed at that. It must’ve been left behind by the big thug when trying to carry the other two out.

The half-elf blinked at Subaru, pondering Subaru’s response.

“Are you…unable to talk?”

It’s not that Subaru couldn’t talk…it’s just…he always chose not to. He preferred it that way…better than the alternative, which leads to people getting hurt.

Subaru just shrugged hesitantly as he gave a slight shake of his head.

“I…can…” Subaru uttered. Maybe he could speak just a little, no harm in that, right? “I…don’t like it…”

Sometimes it felt like every word was a weight, and he couldn’t build up the scale or else he’d collapse. If he had to speak, then he’d prefer it speak as little as possible.

Her face changed into something similar to sympathy for the pathetic boy in front of her.

“Alright then…” the half-elf smiled reassuringly, gesturing a movement which made the projectiles disappear. “I…I’m assuming that you were attacked rather than being the attacker, right?”

Subaru nodded.

She looked at Puck, who eyed him suspiciously before shrugging,

“Well…I still don’t believe he’s lying thus far.” Puck then flew toward him, circling Subaru slowly. Subaru could feel judged by the cat. “He doesn’t seem dangerous besides the knife, nothing that either of us will have a problem with if he turns on you…”

Puck smiled and stared directly at Subaru’s eyes,

“Don’t have any bad thoughts when it comes to Lia, alright? Then no problems…”

“P-Puck, don’t do that, you’ll just be scaring him…” Emilia chastised her great spirit.

Subaru wasn’t sure about the strength of a small flying cat…but he’d prefer not finding out (not that he wanted to hurt the half-elf regardless)since, according to Satella, it’s always the smaller things that are the most deadly since you least suspect them.

Emilia continued to tell Puck off for “scaring” Subaru. He wasn’t afraid; he had a best friend who terrified him for the first year together…and SHE could get…scary. At this rate, he’s gotten used to the feeling, so a cat that could be dangerous didn’t make him nervous.

But he had to admit, Puck would be super adorable to pet, but he would refrain.

However, Puck and the half-elf both, at times, exchanged a glance with each other that meant something along the lines of:

“We’ll keep an eye on him, though…”

It did make sense, he did just stab somebody, and he also hadn’t talked much at all…

“Well then, did you see the girl who stole my…thing? It’s very important, and she ran through here,” the half-elf said…before her face contorted again to a face of stress and embarrassment. “T-The insignia I spoke about…” Something told Subaru that she didn’t mean to reveal the insignia to him. It made sense; she assumed that he was on that blonde girl’s side, so of course she would talk about it.

Subaru nodded.

This made the half-elf smile in relief,

“Really! Do you know where she went?”

Subaru winced a bit before pointing at the rooftop above them.

This caused her to frown as she guessed,

“She went up there, didn’t she? And you don’t know where she could’ve gone?’

Subaru sighed and nodded.

The girl huffed a little before going back to a nervous look.

“Hm…well, stranger, would you happen to identify her if you ever saw her?” Puck inquired.

Subaru nodded; he had a clear view of the thief.

Then an idea must’ve popped up in the half-elf’s head as she looked at Subaru in the eyes, and he very reluctantly did the same.

“I have an idea, I’ll take you with me and once we retrace where she is, you could quickly identify her!” 

She then looked at Subaru weirdly, like she noticed something was wrong, and inquired,

“Come to think of it…I’ve never seen you around. Never saw those clothes either…are you not from here?”

Subaru nodded once more.

“Huh…” the half-elf noted to herself. “Well! There’s no time to waste, I need to find the insignia!”

The half-elf quickly headed her way out, gesturing Subaru to follow her…before she abruptly stopped and asked, “Y-You’re not busy, are you?”

He was preparing his special day…other than that, he wasn’t busy. Maybe one act of…generosity? Kindness? Boredom? Wouldn’t hurt.

Subaru shook his head and smiled.

The half-elf stared at him for a long second before smiling back,

“Okay…okay then, follow me, I’ll track the thief down and then you’ll have your part.” Emilia paused for a moment in awkward silence. “Thank you…I’ll owe you one for using your time to help me…”

Subaru held a thumbs up.

Emilia’s smile returned quickly with the reassurance.

“My name is Emilia…and you are…”

Another pause between them.

“R-Right…I’m sorry, I forgot you don’t…w-we should get going…”

“ It’s…fine… ” Subaru whispered. “ S-Subaru… ”

“Subaru…” Emilia repeated before beaming, “Thank you. Alright then, Subaru, let’s get going!”

Emilia started running a steady pace out of the alleyway with Subaru following her closely. She looked around, scanning the rooftops of the buildings for the thief.

“If what you pointed at was true, then she should still be hopping on the roofs unless she got down,” Emilia deduced. “In a place like the capital, it’s going to be difficult…”

“We could come into contact with lesser spirits for help with directions, I am sure they would, Lia,” Puck suggested. Emilia nodded at him,

“That could work…but won’t time be wasted since it’s better if I’m not somewhere with so many people?”

“Not if you do it now,” Puck replied. “I don’t think the thief would get super far.”

Emilia pondered for a bit as Subaru looked at the surroundings. He examined the rooftops, but nothing much could be seen. It didn’t surprise Subaru; the thief looked quick, agile, and knew quite a bit of parkour. She could be anywhere by now.

But as Subaru looked, he saw that there were different levels of vantage points, specifically a large platform-like balcony that gave a high view over supposedly a big chunk of the capital.

It also seemed isolated, so Emilia could call upon the “lesser spirits” or whatever they were.

Now that Subaru thought about it, even with the years of knowing her, Satella never usually talked about Lugnica besides saying it’s the country where her seal apparently was. Then again, Satella might not even have planned for Subaru to be here in the first place so soon. Sometimes, she did speak of stories. Stories of other witches, stories about her other half, the Witch of Envy, the side that typically appears within Subaru’s heart, mind, and in the real world, occasionally, if Subaru slips up, and stories about legends and great monsters.

Subaru would remember lying on his bed, feeling the many hands patting his head and holding his hands gently as her whispering voice described them until Subaru fell asleep…up until he occasionally got nightmares since Satella had a habit of leaning toward the frightening end of the stories like the Great Rabbit.

To be honest, Satella ruined certain things on Earth for Subaru…he never trusted a rabbit ever again.

Looking at Emilia and Puck talking to each other about how to track down the thief, Subaru observed the half-elf…curious about how they could look so similar.

He wondered if this caused problems for Emilia. It was like having a clone who committed a crime while you were innocent and dealing with people giving you dirty looks.

Speaking about looks…

Emilia was pretty like Satella, same silver hair, the same ears, the same face, but just different outfits and ways of speaking. Emilia was more direct but seemed more…human? While Satella was quiet, like speaking vaguely, and always had a sinister feeling coming from her, even if she was just asking how Subaru’s day had been.

Subaru isn’t sure if Satella does that on purpose or not, but it’s a coin flip if she does.

In the distant void, Subaru heard a bit of laughter from Satella.

Subaru let out a small smile.

Subaru figured enough waiting and tapped Emilia on the shoulder, and she turned around.

“Subaru? Got any ideas?” Emilia questioned.

Subaru nodded and pointed a the view of the capital.

Emilia and Puck glanced at each other before Emilia eventually nodded,

“You think that would give us a good vantage point? Alright then, let’s head over there and see…” She continued ahead, looking back, adding, “I think I know the way there…”

As Emilia led Subaru up several flights of stairs and different pathways, Subaru questioned himself.

‘Why am I bothering with this? This doesn’t have anything to do with me…I was just a victim of a mugging that went wrong, who just happened to see the blonde girl…’ Subaru wondered. ‘Should I have just implied that I couldn’t get a good look…or just simply turned around, waved politely out of good luck, and walked away? Leave her to her problems. I don’t even know what she needs this insignia for…’

Maybe he should’ve.

But as much as he kind of wanted to, Subaru felt it would be too awkward(and suspicious) if he just randomly changed his mind, so onward he went.

With the passing time, Subaru could focus on the whispers that the abyss brought. It was usually the same reassuring phrase…

I love you. I love you. I love you.

But through all the “I love you”s, came more different words. Clearer and less repetitive. Subaru figured out pretty quickly that the repeated “I love you” came from the Witch of Envy…the darker, more dangerous side of Satella. While the one who spoke anything else was most likely the Satella side speaking through.

Back then, after what happened, he hated the Witch of Envy's side. He adored Satella and thought she was his angel. Granted, a more shadowy, scary-like angel, but still comforted Subaru. He always wanted to consider the Witch of Envy as this parasite that ruined Satella and the thing that hurt him…but over time, since the Witch of Envy was usually the one who Subaru listened to from the shadows, he slowly warmed up to it.

In a world that he felt no longer loved him, the Witch of Envy made it explicit that she did. He couldn’t understand why…HE was the pathetic one, he was the bad son, he was the bad person…but the Witch of Envy didn’t care…and he liked that.

Nowadays, Subaru is fine with either side; most of the time, he’d listen to both.

But as Subaru looked at Emilia, he remembered one thing Satella mentioned.

This world hated the jealous witch…

Subaru figured that for his current safety and not to raise any more red flags than he already has, he should keep his mouth shut when it comes to Satella or the Witch of Envy…not that he talked much anyway.

You’re hurt.

Subaru then felt a gentle rub on his shoulder where he had been cut; it tickled a little, but when Subaru looked over, he saw nothing…and then it went away.

He remembered this…he called it the “phantom touch” whenever it happened. It was a trick that Satella did; she hadn’t made it expressly clear how, but Subaru guessed that from beneath the sleeve of his arm, Satella’s shadow-like hand appeared and caressed the injury.

To Subaru, his body acted like a gateway for Satella. Subaru’s body was the door to let through whatever cool trick Satella wanted to do. One such use was the crushing of the heart like she did earlier, she must’ve snuck her way through from the ground and up the guy’s body, where she reached the heart.

With all of this in mind, it came with a cost and a condition.

Satella could only do these things close to Subaru or literally from Subaru’s body. She once had a snake-like hand come out from his torso to pat him on the head.

The cost, though, others nearby tended to experience some degree of sickness. Often it came from nose bleeds, to choking, to passing out, or to going insane. This led to Subaru further isolating himself from others, which neither he nor the Witch of Envy minded. Ironically enough, it was Satella who had a problem with it…she wanted him to have friends, she wanted him to be happy with others as much as Subaru was fine with just her.

Guess she feared that Subaru would turn out the way he was now.

Subaru gripped his knife more tightly in his pocket… Was he hurting Satella if he went out like that? If he continued on his special day?

He didn’t have much time to think about it when he heard Emilia mention,

“I forgot! You’re injured!”

Subaru stopped walking as Emilia ran up to him to hold her hand to his bleeding shoulder lightly.

“I’m sorry! I was just worried about the…it’s my fault, I should’ve noticed sooner…” Emilia panicked a bit.

“Lia, Subaru here seems fine, he doesn’t look to be dying anytime, you’re good,” Puck assured, with a slight passive-aggressive undertone that he couldn’t help but notice. Subaru nodded in agreement.

“Um…it doesn’t matter, I should’ve noticed sooner,” Emilia interjected. “Here, I’ll heal you, it won’t take long.” She raised her hand close to the injury, and soon enough, a blue-ish light was emitted. Small orbs of light flickered and danced around between the injury and her hand as Subaru felt a weird sensation on the injury.

Soon, the pain began to slowly diminish as it soothed.

When Subaru looked over, he saw the bleeding had stopped, and the injury overall had healed. The only trace of it was the dry blood on Subaru’s tracksuit.

‘Bummer…Ella liked the tracksuit; she was the one who picked it out,’ Subaru thought, disliking the thought of ruining the option Satella picked. According to her, she figured that the almost pure white with a bit of purple alongside his raven hair matched well with the reverse colors of Satella, who wore a black dress and had silver hair.

I love you. I love you.

I’m just glad you’re not hurt. You were hurt. Please, don’t be hurt…anymore…

I love you.

Subaru then recalled the plan about the special day…before he wanted to start second-guessing himself, Emilia spoke,

“I could also heal your bruise.”

Subaru, wanting to just get the thief and get this over with, shook his head. He then pointed at the same balcony spot, which was now a lot closer and visible.

Emilia sighed slightly before nodding,

“R-Right…I suppose I can heal you once we’re done, if that’s what you want.”

Afterward, Emilia led Subaru up.

It didn’t take much more time to reach their destination, as now they had a much higher view over the capital. The trio scanned the surrounding rooftops to no avail, as it seemed like the thief was not running around on them anymore.

Emilia’s nervousness was visibly starting to pick up as she frantically looked deep into every view of the capital with the same result. Nothing.

“ S-She’s not anywhere… ” Emilia whispered to herself... accidentally loud enough that Subaru could hear. “Where could she be?”

“I told you, Lia, my plan would work better,” Puck shrugged.

Subaru, although he didn’t care as much if Emilia truly obtained her insignia or not, couldn’t help but puzzle over this mystery. Even with the phrase “Don’t Judge a Book By Its Cover” being a thing, Subaru couldn’t ignore the fact that clothes of the blonde girl seemed tattered, like she seemed to be on the poorer side. Also, if the insignia could be worth a lot, then it would make more sense if it were stolen for some decent worth.

In other words, not in the center of the capital, nor any fancy mansions and such.

Of course, even with this realization, he didn’t say anything, still preferring to just keep his mouth shut.

“I guess using the lesser spirits might be the way…okay, okay,” Emilia calmed herself down. “G-Give me a moment, Subaru, I’ll need some time to converse with the lesser spirits…I think if the thief were anywhere in the capital, they could help us find her.”

Subaru nodded and stepped away while Puck followed him, floating at around Subaru’s head height. When Subaru looked back, he noticed Emilia closing her eyes and concentrating, a dozen glowing orbs of light appeared and illuminated the area with a blue-ish white glow similar to the healing.

While Emilia did her thing, Subaru sighed and sat down on the stone stairs, spacing out into the distance. That spacing out was stopped quickly when Puck tapped him in the head.

“Hey there, Subaru…I got something I want to talk to you about,” Puck hinted.

Subaru raised a brow as Puck continued,

“If you hadn’t noticed, Lia is a half-elf.”

Subaru wasn’t sure how to respond, so he just nodded in agreement.

“Normally, half-elves are feared or hated upon, often being assumed to be the jealous witch. You have heard about HER, right? Satella, the Witch of Envy?”

Subaru nodded again.

Puck’s eyes widened just a little before he went back to a blank smile with eyes of indifference.

“Question is, why aren’t you that scared? You had…A reaction, I could tell that much, but otherwise, you’re fine with her presence.”

Subaru shrugged, muttering,

“ Don’t care… ” 

Puck looked him up and down before relaxing,

“Well, although she may be suspicious of you, I am as well. Lia seems to like the fact that you’re not afraid, so I guess I’m fine with you sticking around. But my warning stays the same. Don’t. Try. Anything. Got it?”

Subaru nodded.

“Just to be sure, I feel the need to ask, you’re not working with the thief to throw Lia off, are you?”

Subaru shook his head.

“That’s nice to know. We’ll see if the lesser spirits can help locate the thief…shouldn’t take too long.”

As Puck predicted…

It wasn’t long after that Emilia ran to the two, Puck joining her side, floating around her shoulder.

When Subaru looked at Emilia, she seemed to be in a disappointed and stressed state, implying the lesser spirits were of no help.

“I-I’m sorry, but here in the capital, the spirits can’t assist in locating the thief…locating a specific person around here is a struggle….” Emilia then looked over the balcony edge, taking another deep glance at every corner she could see for…anything. “ Think, think, think…how could I have let it be stolen…so stupid… ”

Subaru stared at Emilia, unsure how to feel with her berating herself. He could empathize with the idea of being a failure and allowing something bad to happen…

‘Hey, um, Ella, you think you could potentially locate the thief?’

I cannot…

I love you. I love you.

Based on my connection with you, I can actively locate and monitor you, Subaru-kun, but anyone else would be a problem.

I love you. It’s because I love you.

However, maybe try that poorer class idea you had? Maybe the slums are nearby…

The slums? Now that Subaru thought about it, it would make sense if there were economic classes in this world, then there must be areas such as the slums similar to Earth.

Subaru leaned on the balcony, next to Emilia, as he looked around the edges of the capital. He wasn’t familiar with the area, but surely Emilia must be, right? If he explained that the thief could be part of the slums area, then they could explore there.

He turned toward the half-elf, wondering what the easiest way to explain the idea was in the shortest words possible. He breathed deeply in, bracing to finally speak again as he tapped Emilia on the shoulder.

“Subaru? You have an idea?” Emilia’s voice held no hostility; it was a bit of desperation.

“ Slums… ” Subaru spoke slowly.

“The slums? Why go there? Do you think the thief would be from there?” Emilia questioned.

It was then Puck who jumped into the conversation,

“I think Subaru here might be right, Lia. If anyone wanted to steal, it could be someone desperate. It could be sold.”

“R-Right…that makes sense, yeah, I think that works,” Emilia concluded, smiling at Subaru and Puck. “Thanks, you two. I’m not sure on the path there, but I think we could find it since it’s on the edge of the capital, right? If I ask around…Then I think a kind stranger will tell us the way.”

“Best to find out now rather than later,” Puck advised while Emilia nodded.

“Y-Yes! Come on, Subaru!”

Subaru sighed before following Emilia back down all the stairs they had to go through to get up here. He supposed it was his fault; it was his idea to get a high vantage point, wasn’t it?

While they went back to navigating around the capital, Emilia took it upon herself to ask around for directions. Most of them were people just passing by, and some were merchants.

A lot didn’t bother, and either brushed Emilia off or just ignored her. Emilia didn’t demand answers; she just nodded and continued.

Subaru noticed the hopeless eyes of Emilia every time she was rejected for assistance, she didn’t seem surprised, must’ve been used to it by now.

As time went on, similar responses continued.

“I don’t know where those street rats are, go away!”

“I’m sorry, I’m no help…”

“Don’t know, don’t care.”

“No thanks, I should be going…”

“U-Uh, no, I don’t know…”

Often, they made some excuse to get out of even talking with Emilia. Some were like escape artists as they thought of every excuse they could.

“Sorry, I’m waiting for my date; she hasn’t arrived yet.”

“Unless you are a paying customer, get out!”

“I’d prefer not to talk to a potential witch…”

Others were pretty blatant and not at all subtle.

“Get out here, half-devil!”

“How can I trust your kind?”

“Please, go away…!”

It was getting worse, and Emilia once turned back and assured Subaru,

“I-It’s fine, we’ll find somebody…I’ll make it worth your time helping me, I promise…”

The more it occurred, the more Emilia’s eyes began to puff like she was resisting breaking into tears. Puck began increasingly getting angry too, his eye twitching and the smirk dropping now and then.

The tension was getting higher, and the sun seemed like it was getting closer to setting.

They stopped in an alley as Emilia turned to Subaru again,

“We’re definitely getting closer, I feel it! We’re making some progress! Now that we’re closer to the edge of the capital, it must be nearby…” Her voice was a little strained, and Subaru noticed it. “I’m sorry for wasting your time like this…it wasn’t my intention to.”

Subaru remembered Satella saying similar things…

“I didn’t wish to scare you, I didn’t think I would…”

“It wasn’t my intention…to make you feel bad…”

“You’re doing great, I feel it!”

I am sorry…I love you. I love you.

‘Don’t take it the wrong way, Ella, I’m not angry at all,’ Subaru assured the shadows that were within the darkness of the abyss alongside his soul. ‘But…seeing Emilia…who looks just like you…so hurt…’

It was like seeing Satella about to cry, it was like seeing Satella being made fun of, or being attacked, or being hurt, but still trying to be strong for Subaru.

But it wasn’t Satella. This was Emilia. This was not Satella. This was a stranger who just looked like her, that’s all. Subaru had no reason to care about a stranger. He had none, he was just being dragged along, and he decided to help because why not? It was just for the hell of it. Just for the hell of it, before the celebration. Before the special day.

There was no party alive. There was no celebration alive. But there was one waiting for both him and both sides of the witch once he passed. It was what he wanted. It was what the Witch of Envy wanted. The majority rules. Subaru will die, and he shall join Satella in the Shadow Garden.

It’s what he wants, and even if Satella might not agree, there is still the benefit of Satella now having Subaru to herself. Now having Satella to himself.

The shadow in some distant place…didn’t say anything. Satella didn’t say anything. It was weirdly uncomfortable with the silence.

Emilia and Subaru encountered another stranger. This one strolling by, with rough brown hair, a buttoned shirt, and short pants that hardly reached the ankles. Emilia didn’t even say anything before the stranger gave a sour look.

Nonetheless, Emilia asked,

“E-Excuse me…sir? I was wondering if you knew where the–”

“Don’t talk to me…”

“R-Right…” Emilia backed away before mumbling, “ I was curious if you knew where the slums would happen to be… ”

“I said, don’t talk to me, half-devil. At least do me the courtesy of leaving me alone away from any of your stupid problems! I want no business in that!” the man yelled at Emilia, who backed up even more while looking down in shame.

‘But seeing…someone like you…so hurt. I can’t help but feel angry,’ Subaru thought to himself as he looked at Emilia. He sighed in frustration as he felt his grip on the handle of his knife tighten.

The rude man was about to pass by Emilia before Subaru, to Emilia and Puck’s surprise, stepped in…

‘This isn’t…She isn’t Satella. I know that. She is not the jealous witch that I adore….But I can’t help but feel pissed off right now…’

Subaru blocked the way of the stranger as he just said one word,

“ Directions. ”

“Are you deaf? No, are you with the half-devil!?”

“S-Subaru, please, it’s fine, we’ll just ask someone else!” Emilia suggested to Subaru.

‘Emilia’s already asked too many, and by now, if the thief even HAS the insignia anymore, she’s already long gone unless the idea of the blonde girl living in the slums is true…’ Subaru reasoned. ‘Emilia is too kind…’

I love you. I love you. I love you. That’s funny. That’s funny.

That’s funny coming from you, Subaru-kun. If I remember correctly, you struggled stealing food to eat because you didn’t want to do anything bad, even if you were hungry…

Subaru also recalled that. After what happened, Subaru got scared, and Satella ensured that she would protect him like she always did, except this time, she ALWAYS was with him since there was no guardian or parent of Subaru…Subaru wasn’t even sure if anyone would believe him or if everyone would think he did it.

He was nine years old at the time.

Not wanting to dwell on the past for long, Subaru went back to reality and where he was.

Subaru was sick of waiting around and watching another dozen rejections of Emilia. The stranger in front of him now IS going to tell them the way, granted, Subaru is hoping the stranger does, in fact, know. He figured it was likely. Of course, implying Emilia's statement about the slums being nearby was true.

Subaru pushed the man into the wall of the alley. The man stumbled back a little as Subaru came closer, uttering the same word,

“ Directions… ”

“I don’t care about helping you two, now get off of me unless you want problems!” the stranger threatened, but it was clear the stranger was uncomfortable. Maybe it was Subaru’s eyes; they tended to be scary for others.

Subaru wasn’t going to take that as an answer, as he pulled out his knife and held it to the stranger’s neck.

Emilia stepped back even more in shock as she exclaimed,

“S-Subaru! Stop!”

Subaru ignored her.

“ Directions… ”

“H-Hey! G-Get off–”

“ Directions… ” Subaru held the knife closer to the neck.

Today was his special day, the last thing he’s going to do is care about standards or what others thought of him.

“Okay! O-Okay! I’ll talk!” the stranger gave in, he explained the path that reached the slums as Emilia, despite her shock, listened intently. It wasn’t far like what Emilia said, if anything, with another twenty minutes of searching, they would’ve found it either way. Ten minutes if Emilia didn’t ask every stranger she encountered about where to go.

“There ya’ go! Is that good!” the stranger yelled.

Subaru let go, causing the stranger to gasp a little,

“I-I’ll be on my way, just…I’ll be out of here!” The stranger ran off, muttering, “ Fucking psycho… ”

Subaru calmly put the knife back in his pocket as he gestured to Emilia that they should be going. But Emilia stopped Subaru, demanding,

“What was that, Subaru!? You didn’t have to…why would you…why!?”

Subaru just shrugged and held a thumb back, implying that they should be going.

Emilia swallowed any complaint she seemed to have and instead inquired,

“You weren’t going to…hurt him….were you?”

Subaru shook his head.

He wasn’t at all planning to kill or truly hurt the stranger; he just needed it to seem real and threatening. If he did hurt the man, then he might fight back more, hurt Subaru, and then Satella might jump in and…

…

Subaru did NOT want to find out what might happen then.

Emilia sighed as Puck reminded her,

“Whether there was a commotion or not, does not matter, Lia. What matters is that we finally know where the area is and then try again with lesser spirits, as I believe it would be easier there.”

Despite what just occurred, Emilia’s eyes brightened with determination and ease, knowing they now have a better lead.

“Y-Yes! You’re right, Puck, we should be going!”

Subaru just nodded and proceeded to follow Emilia once more today.

Emilia did glance at Subaru with a bit of concern, but she seemed to have brushed it off…for now, at least. 

Luckily, the directions given weren’t false or made up to avoid potential harm or death, as they wound up exactly in a place that the slums would supposedly look like. But Subaru hoped that if the stranger did pull that sort of thing, Puck would acknowledge it.

It just reached sunset, as the sky turned a burning orange.

Small, poorly constructed homes and tents were scattered around, trees were left without leaves, and the paths were made from dirt and rocks. It was the slums. No way to argue against it.

Emilia looked uneasy. Subaru could see why.

At first sight, it looked like a ghost town, but upon closer look, you could see several people, but just watching from a distance with exhausted and curious eyes. They looked skinny, malnourished, and all had a variety of clothes, with a lot looking dirty or ragged.

To ease herself more, she commented to Subaru,

“I noticed that we match…our clothes, I have white and purple, and you also have white and purple…you do have black pants and such, but I think it looks nice on you…”

Was this her attempt at a conversation?

It could be worse, like Satella’s first attempt with Subaru.

Another small laugh of nostalgia came from the abyss elsewhere. Subaru could always hear the abyss; no one else did, which was fine, he just had to avoid mentioning or showing it to any outsiders.

Subaru nodded in agreement. He then pointed at Emilia’s outfit and gave a thumbs-up. Emilia knew what Subaru meant as she smiled and replied,

“Thanks…purple is my favorite color, but I do enjoy white a lot, it reminds me of the calming snowfall where I dance around with Puck.”

Subaru danced with Satella a couple of times. He recalled one of them being in some distant field away from anyone else, where the trees circled a large area, and Satella was able to display her full appearance without being caught or affecting anything.

It’s…what they thought until they found a bunch of dead animals nearby, but Subaru never held it against her.

“D-Do you like dancing, Subaru?” Emilia asked.

Subaru made a hand motion, rotating it left and right.

“I’m assuming you’re fine with it, right?” Emilia guessed, which caused Subaru to nod in response. “That’s nice, there are a lot of things I wish I could do with others, but I sort of can’t because it’s either they have a job to do or…they…stay away from me…”

‘I could relate to the ladder…’ Subaru thought to himself. But it didn’t matter. Emilia had Puck. Subaru had Satella. They had their individual friend, and what else did they need, right? That’s how Subaru’s world is…he wasn’t sure about Emilia's thought. She did state that she wanted to interact with others more.

Emilia sighed, stopping in the middle of the path.

“I think it’s time to call upon the spirits again for help…”

Subaru nodded as he backed up a bit, Puck joining his side.

The same glowing orbs appeared and scattered around Emilia, floating like bubbles in the air, circling like Emilia was the sun to the rest of the planets. She illuminated, returning to the angelic glow.

Subaru watched; he had to admit, she did look amazing within the glow of the spirits. Granted, he’ll always prefer Satella and the shadows; that’s up his alley. It was what he was comfortable with.

In a sense, despite looking the same, both gave off opposite energy. One attracts you to get closer in awe, the other repels you with fear.

Clearly, Subaru had a screw loose since he ended up diving deep with the shadows.

“Lia matters a lot to me, you know?” Puck suddenly began speaking to Subaru. It was more of a stern way, but non-threatening. “She is everything…I can’t imagine myself living in a world without her.”

Satella would say the same thing about Subaru…Subaru would also think the same about Satella.

Subaru looked over at Puck. He wasn’t sure why Puck was saying this. It was either three reasons. One, Puck is opening up. Two, Puck is indirectly threatening Subaru that if anything happens to Emilia, he is fucked. Or three, Puck senses something dangerous that might occur and says this to get it clear to Subaru that Emilia was the priority.

“Sorry for the unexpected change of tune, I just wanted to say this because the time is soon to be up for me. Once it hits around five, my small form, you see, can no longer be maintained, and I’ll be returning. When that happens, I’m unable to protect Lia, so…I hope I can at least trust a human like you to keep her safe when she’s with you.”

Now…that’s unexpected.

Subaru wasn’t sure how to explain to the Great Spirit that Subaru might not even be here at the end of the day…so he didn’t.

Puck must’ve sensed the doubt in Subaru as he added,

“Subaru, please. Lia better be alive, I do not want to come out only to find my daughter on the ground dead. I’m honest when I say she is everything to me.”

'Wait...Emilia is Puck's DAUGHTER?' Subaru wasn't sure if he heard that right...

'It must've been like an adopted daughter where they consider each other family...' Subaru guessed. Perhaps, the appearance of being a small cat threw off any possibility of being a father figure to...anybody.

Regardless, Subaru gulped hard before sighing and nodding, causing Puck to smile and wink.

He then took it upon himself to finally reach his hand to feel Puck’s fur; it was soft, and Puck didn’t react much besides chuckling from the petting.

“Guys!” Emilia announced to the two. “The spirits had spoken, they can guide us the way to where the thief might be.”

“That’s great, Lia, let’s get going before my time runs out,” Puck insisted, causing Emilia to nod. Subaru just held up a thumbs-up and followed Emilia anyway.

Passing by the tents and decrepit buildings, Subaru felt a little hesitant, recalling undesirable memories from the past. Those nights outside, he was cold, hungry, and couldn’t sleep. He was so scared about…everything.

The Witch of Envy tried her best to aid with all the problems.

She tried hugging him with all the shadow-like hands that wrapped around him.

She tried swiping away food from nearby places, even killing animals so Subaru could cook them up.

She whispered stories and rested with him to make the nightmares go away.

‘The people of the slums…did they have that?’ Subaru wondered. ‘Did they have someone who, even if they couldn’t do too much, did their absolute most to help them?’ Subaru doubted it. A random thought hit Subaru…just briefly…maybe, perhaps, he could be that person?

Could he help others in situations like these?

But what about his special day? It was an important day to him…right? He can’t just give up on that? Not when he was so dead set on it…

The group stopped in a weird place. It looked like some kind of bar…maybe? It was a rectangular building with a giant wooden door and torn walls. Several windows were broken, and scars on the walls were visible as if a fight had occurred.

Emilia and Puck noticed too, glancing at each other as Emilia stepped up to the door in caution with Subaru behind her.

When they approached the wooden door, Emilia tested if the door was locked. It wasn’t. She swung the door open, letting the orange light inside.

Adjusting his eyes, he followed Emilia a bit before bumping into her when she suddenly stopped moving. She was frozen in place.

‘Why did she stop? Is something–’

Subaru looked ahead and realized quickly what was up.

Inside, there stood a woman in a black, revealing dress, covered with blood as she held a weird blade.

She looked down at what looked like the corpses of a giant old man and the blonde girl that Subaru had seen earlier. They were both motionless and looked to be sliced apart.

Upon hearing Emilia and Subaru enter, the woman turned around to face them. She had a sadistic smile on her face as she licked her lips.

“Huh…did not expect you two to talk through,” she commented. “Ah, no matter~ looks like I get to play a little more with new prey~”

Chapter Text

Standing there frozen, Emilia and Subaru stared at their soon-to-be attacker as the woman slowly walked closer, playfully spinning their large blade.

“S-Subaru, do you know this woman?” Emilia inquired with a whisper.

Subaru shook his head.

Emilia breathed deeply in with Puck floating a little in front of her, his face being tense yet still with a smirk, which Subaru was unsure how to feel, whether that was threatening or overly confident.

Puck was a G reat Spirit , right? Subaru figured that Puck shouldn’t have a problem facing what looked like an…assassin? A serial killer?

The half-elf noticed the two bodies behind the probable culprit and, with a strained voice, warned,

“Subaru…I dragged you into this, please, leave me, Puck, and I can handle this on our own.”

Subaru already felt like rushing out of there, but upon glancing at Puck, who also glanced at him, Subaru realized that with Puck’s glare, leaving Emilia isn’t an option…granted, Satella doesn’t step in fast enough or at all, which is unlikely.

“Leaving already~? What a shame, I’m afraid that won’t work with me,” the creepy doll-like woman replied, overhearing Emilia’s suggestion. “I cannot allow a witness to happily get away, you see?”

Emilia pointed at the black dressed woman and announced,

“You there! I’m assuming you’re the cause of the two dead behind you, am I right?”

The other woman nodded and smiled more widely,

“Why yes, of course~ it was supposed to be a trade agreement, but I might’ve gotten excited about how their insides looked~” She then, from some unknown pocket that Subaru couldn’t see, pulled out a small triangular-shaped object with a red gem in the middle. “This, I believe, belongs to you? Correct?”

“ My insignia… ” Emilia uttered before announcing again, “Once me and Puck defeat you, you’ll be giving that back!”

The woman’s smile widened even more as her eyes became slightly crazed with Emilia’s warning. She put the insignia back on that same unknown pocket.

“That’s quite a claim~ Very well then…” The woman raised her blade and licked her lips once more. “I cannot wait to see the warmth of your insides~you’ll be seeing the angels very, VERY soon~”

It was then that the woman charged forward, blade directed at Puck first.

Subaru was grabbed by Emilia, and they both leaped, backing away from their pursuer , back outside.

Puck didn’t seem to waste time as he summoned a large array of ice crystals in the shape of spearheads; they flew in high speeds at the hunter. From what Subaru could see, she danced around and, with admittedly incredible gymnastics, evaded the onslaught before taking her turn to swipe at the small cat. It was there that Puck held out his paw, and a large snowflake-like pattern manifested that repelled the blade from striking him. 

She continued, regardless, going from all different angles. Striking across, from the top, then bottom, and Puck flew around the building, blocking each strike with the shield before quickly sending off ice spears back at the pursuer, which she dodged as well.

They continued on this dance, Puck ruthlessly now allowing much room for the hunter to dodge from as he shot spear after spear.

But then, at a sudden moment, Puck winked,

“Lia had already said my name, you know, I am the Great Spirit, Puck.”

“A Great Spirit? Now that is wonderful to hear~ I wonder what a spirit’s insides look like then,” the woman commented.

Puck smirked,

“Unfortunately, I’m afraid to tell you that you shall never find out, little girl.” He raised both paws, and the woman was now being surrounded with spears of ice in all directions, rendering it visibly undodgable from Subaru’s perspective. “Remember my name after you die.”

Then at the same time, all the spears struck down on the woman who simply used her cloak to cover her entire body. Once they all drilled down, it formed a large tomb of nothing but ice.

Emilia sighed in relief, which Subaru figured meant the battle was over.

Puck also sighed and floated toward Emilia, saying,

“I’m glad I got that over with. My time is about up, Lia.”

Emilia nodded,

“Yes, thank you, Puck.” Emilia then turned to Subaru. “U-Um, thank you for sticking around. Once I get my insignia, you’ll be rewarded for it, trust me!”

Subaru shrugged and held a thumbs-up.

But , to the surprise of the trio , they heard ice cracking, and the tomb of ice shattered into many chunks.

From within it, the woman’s voice spoke out loud,

“It’s been a while since I was referred to as an ordinary girl~ You’ll be leaving so soon? What a bore, I was hoping you’d stay for longer.” The black dressed woman got up, holding her cloak, which evaporated into thin air, revealing more of her already quite revealing dress.

Puck muttered under his breath,

“ That is not good, I should’ve expected that…Lia. ”

“It’s alright, Puck, thank you for the help, I believe I can handle this myself,” Emilia assured, but to Subaru, she seemed a little nervous. She then turned to Subaru. “Subaru…please, you need to get out, I-I’ll hold her off…”

Subaru was going to nod, but yet again, Puck came in and, behind Emilia’s back, he glared at Subaru.

“Just be careful, Lia, don’t be afraid to exert your Od to force me out again,” Puck explained.

“Understood, Puck, you can rest now,” Emilia nodded. Puck smiled once more before closing his eyes and vanishing away into small glowing bits that faded off.

Emilia looked at Subaru with an expectant look for him to run off.

Subaru was in a bit of a conundrum. On one hand, he felt completely willing to listen to Emilia and run off and let her deal with the blade-wielding psychopath. Even if Puck comes out to ready to beat his ass for it, Subaru figured Satella would protect him, and since she is one of the strongest(according to Satella), Subaru should be fine…right? On the other hand, Emilia might not be fine alone. Subaru didn’t like the idea of just abandoning someone, who also looks like Satella, with a low chance of survival…but this is about his survival too, and he wouldn’t be much help to Emilia during the fight unless Satella, or rather the Witch of Envy, comes out…which could also kill Emilia regardless.

But, isn’t this what he wanted? Subaru wanted to die; it was his special day…

But upon looking at the hunter who still slowly approached the two, Subaru wondered if dying by the woman was the type of death he wanted. For Emilia, he was fine dying by, she looked like Satella anyway. But this woman?

Run…I love you.

I love you. I love you.

I love you, which is why I think you should run.

I love. I will protect you.

Nobody gets to harm you.

Subaru turned to Emilia and mumbled,

“Safe…?”

Emilia seemed to figure out quickly what Subaru meant. She smiled in reassurance,

“I will be, now, please, go!”

“Oh, that would not be favorable~” the woman disagreed. “When your Great Spirit hit me with that attack, for a moment, I thought I was going to die, that was quite a thrill~”

Subaru ignored her and turned around. He began sprinting away, unsure where he was even going, but he decided that the capital should be the best option. It was populated, easy to lose track of, and probably had some law enforcement if it’s similar to Earth.

He heard Emilia summon what seemed like several ice spears, like what Puck did, behind him. With the time the hunter was distracted, Subaru used it to get away as far as possible.

It took about a couple of seconds before Subaru heard a lot of footsteps and the sound of a yelp to a gasp of pain from Emilia. The similar-sounding voice to the Witch of Envy alarmed Subaru, and out of instinct, like he had heard Satella in pain, Subaru turned around, as if, for some reason, he decided that he was ready to face monsters beyond his comprehension.

From what he could see, Emilia was knocked back against a wall. She continued to shield and strike with more projectiles. Subaru looked at the sight, seeing Emilia increasingly getting tired and more worried while the hunter sadistically dodged every attack and cornered Emilia.

He needs to help her, right?

Run. I love you.

Maybe not needed, but…

I love you, so run.

If he was going to die anyway for his special day, why bother about his survival? What did he even plan to do afterward, just get it over with, making Emilia’s sacrifice worthless?

Run.

Subaru wanted to run; he wanted to listen to the shadow’s urgency for him to run. But the situation didn’t feel right. He didn’t feel right to do it…

I love you.

Subaru looked at Emilia, Satella’s lookalike. He couldn’t help but see Satella in danger, which was a thought of idiocy because Satella most likely would never be in danger based on how strong she was…still, according to her, at least.

‘That isn’t Satella…’ Subaru repeated in his head as he backed away. ‘That isn’t Satella. That’s Emilia. I don’t know her at all. We just met, she’s just a stranger. That isn’t Satella. That isn’t Satella. That isn’t Satella!’

The images of the two dead bodies behind the smiling woman flashed in Subaru’s mind as he saw that same woman land a few slashes on Emilia, bits of blood sprayed and stained her clothes as she constantly tried keeping a distance away from her attacker.

Subaru then recalled the aftermath of what happened.

What happened. What happened. What happened.

He recalled the bodies. He should’ve done more than. He could’ve done more than. It could’ve been prevented. It was his inaction that caused it. It was his fault.

Looking at Emilia getting closer to death’s door, Subaru struggled to back away.

It was funny and a bit ironic. Satella wanted him to run. Emilia wanted him to run. And Subaru was sure the Witch of Envy would’ve wanted him to run. Yet here he was, starting to think about jumping back in and going against all their wishes.

Run.

I love you.

I love you.

Please, run.

‘But Emilia is not a bad person…’ Subaru replied. He was. He was a bad person. He was the selfish one. Emilia wasn’t. Satella wasn’t. The Witch of Envy wasn’t….at times. He was. Subaru Natsuki is a bad person. Subaru Natsuki was a bad person, and none of that changed…he just stayed a good boy hoping life would reward him for not fucking up again.

In a way, it did. Satella and the Witch of Envy were there for him. He couldn’t have been more thankful…Subaru always figured nothing he did would be enough, but Satella insisted that just him being there, and staying with her, was enough.

It didn’t make sense.

Looking at Emilia’s efforts to fight, her instance of Subaru leaving her so he could live it didn’t make sense. But, Subaru wanted to continue to his special day, but if he did…then Emilia’s efforts would be meaningless. He didn’t want that.

He wanted to die. But he didn’t want others to die with him…or for him.

Subaru wanted to join Satella. That’s what he wanted more than anything.

I love you.

‘I know…I love you too,’ Subaru smiled. He sighed, concluding what he was going to do.

‘I’m sorry…’ Subaru thought, knowing he was going against Satella’s wish.

I love you. It’s okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I love you.

I love you, regardless. I love you, no matter what.

Personally, since I love you. I love you. I prefer this option to what you’re planning to do…

Your special day. It's certainly a unique one…it’s just…

I love you. But why her? Why stop for her?

I know you love me. I love you. You love me. But why? Why?

‘Emilia shouldn’t die. Not from Puck’s request, but because I don’t want her to die. She’s not you, Satella, I know that. But if I’m going to continue on with the special day, then it’s not going to be after Emilia sacrifices herself, I would feel too guilty. It wouldn’t be as great a feeling anymore,’ Subaru explained to the shadows.

He then raised his hand in front of him and called out.

“Witch of Envy?”

As expected, a hand came out from thin air in front of Subaru. He was surprised she didn’t go from inside his body to the outside, but he was fine with it. The hand held Subaru’s hand as Subaru requested,

“I’ll be putting myself into danger, so I ask for your assistance, please?”

He hoped this counted for the Witch of Envy.

The witch’s hand tightened around Subaru.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Though Subaru wished at times that the Witch of Envy could say other things besides that she loved him more, he figured the fact that she allowed herself to appear and the way she held his hand meant that she would help out.

“Thank you, Envy,” Subaru smiled widely as he spoke out loud. Although he didn’t like speaking much to others, when it came to Satella or the Witch of Envy, he could freely talk. He got used to it and was always excited for it…“When it comes to that woman in black, feel free to kill her if it’s easier. Please, don’t hurt Emilia in the process…”

This was…the first time Subaru had asked for Satella or Envy to kill someone. He normally would never, but in this scenario, with someone trying to kill Emilia and having already killed two others, Subaru would make this a special case.

Still, it made Subaru uncomfortable with the thought of asking Envy to potentially kill after a while of trying to persuade her to do the opposite.

Nevertheless, Subaru pulled out his knife from his pocket.

Knife in hand and the shadow-like hands retreating yet being ready to attack, Subaru ran toward the continuing battle with a clearly losing side, that being Emilia.

Subaru examined the situation. Emilia managed to get away from any outside brick wall or corner and was now more in the open where she could freely move…issue with that is the same could be said for the other woman, and in this case, the other woman relished the open outside where she could strike and dance around, circling Emilia like a shark. He wasn’t sure about others watching, but he’d rather not think about it. He had a feeling getting this open wasn’t in the culprit’s mind since she spoke of them as witnesses rather than intentional targets.

Observing for a moment, Emilia seemingly had an attack pattern, one that the other woman also started catching on. In a long distance, Emilia constantly fired ice spears at the target. Once the target dodged and managed to get closer in distance, Emilia would prepare for a shield. If the target struck, Emilia would block and then, from around her, would shoot a few projectiles to get the target away. If the target backed away, then repeat.

The issue with this is that it seemed progressively exhausting for Emilia to keep up, and unless she figures out a new strategy or sets up a trap, she won’t last much longer. The pursuer, knowing this, slowly pushed, warring Emilia down.

Subaru wasn’t sure if Emilia could do anything else but those two things, but for now, he’ll make this strategy like Emilia is going to continue with this until she goes down or gets lucky.

He began slowly sneaking up on the two fighting, tightening his grip on the knife as he prepared for a good moment. He figured if there was a good chance to sneak from behind the hunter and stab her in the back with Envy’s assist, it would be when she was closer to Emilia and attempting to strike.

During this moment, the projectiles would also aim closer in front, so Subaru won’t accidentally get hit. Once he charges forward and the hunter strikes, she would be too busy facing Emilia to notice him coming. If the black-dressed woman backs away, then she’s backing away straight into Subaru’s knife.

‘Envy, if any of this fails or once you’re in reach, feel free to come in finally,’ Subaru thought out loud, knowing Satella and the Witch of Envy heard. ‘Although knowing this world, it's probably best if you try to limit your exposure, so that Emilia or other bystanders see and recognize you…or accidentally die. Stick with the hands for now…’

I love you.

He took that as understanding.

Hiding behind a nearby tree, he watched as he was now closer to the battle. He could see Emilia sweating bullets as her breathing was now more uneven with the continuing fight, yet she persisted.

Subaru didn’t have time to second-guess his decision-making; he just readied himself as he timed his entrance.

‘On a count of three…’

The hunter parried away a few projectiles before rolling to the side to dodge a few more. The quantity of ice spears is decreasing quite a bit from the beginning of the fight.

‘One…’

Emilia began getting ready to aim more downward as the hunter lowered her body and dashed toward her with an altered angle that threw Emilia off briefly.

‘Two…’

Emilia regained her composure and aim as she prepared her shield and additional spears to rain down on her attacker.

The shield was then struck once, and Emilia shot the projectiles down, which the hunter dodged as she rolled and flipped, striking a few more times on altered angles with Emilia struggling to block, but still successfully shielding.

‘Three!’

Subary sprinted forward, holding the knife a little more ahead of him as Emilia continued to block. Neither of the women seemed to notice his upcoming intrusion into the fight.

He got closer.

Continuing to grip the knife ahead of him, ready to thrust, he got even closer.

Upon at least the last second, the hunter turned her head and faced Subaru.

“Did you think I wouldn’t see you coming in?” she questioned Subaru as she flipped back, jumping right over him, dodging his knife strike while slashing at his eye.

Subaru wasn’t sure what happened, but the hunter faltered her movement midair, causing her to miss Subaru’s right eye, and only slicing a bit above it, creating a big cut over his eyebrow up to his scalp.

The hunter landed on her feet as she slid back a bit of distance. Upon closer examination, he realized her right foot, from the top of the ankle to the bottom, was gone, and when Subaru looked down, there was a small block of ice that her recent foot was wearing like a new shoe, stuck to the ground and seemingly cut off from the rest of the body.

“S-Subaru!” Emilia exclaimed in shock.

It was clear what had happened. When the hunter was about to strike Subaru’s eye, Emilia had landed a hit on the hunter’s right foot, causing it to freeze and causing an error in the strike, which saved Subaru’s eye.

“Unexpected, really,” the hunter commented. “You know, I have to admit, I didn’t think you would at all return to this losing fight. I figured you’re the cowardly type, the type that I would have an exciting time hunting down once I’m done with the half-elf~”

Subaru didn’t say anything; he was too busy noticing the lack of a left arm that the hunter had. It was missing, looking like it was ripped straight from her body.

It was very soon until Emilia and the hunter herself acknowledged it.

Emilia was shocked, while the hunter was stunned when it could’ve happened.

It didn’t take long for the three to notice a dark force being present to the right of Subaru.

From Subaru’s back, a dark, purple, and black hand came out with a snake-like forearm. The shadowy hand gripped Elsa’s severed arm tightly, as the sounds of bones underneath the arm could be heard cracking.

Then, from the snake-like arm, several additional fingers could be seen growing from it like branches on a tree, as small hands, increasing in size, also gripped the arm as they began ripping it apart. Like a wet sponge being squeezed and torn, cracks and flesh could be heard being pulled apart as blood rained and spilled onto the ground until eventually, there was nothing left of the arm, big chunks of it visibly being absorbed within the shadowy hands.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

It was the Witch of Envy.

Subaru smiled, knowing he had the help of the witch like he requested, but his smile must’ve unnerved Emilia as she staggered in her speech,

“S-Subaru? Subaru?! What was…that? You didn’t–” Emilia kept faltering, trying to talk, struggling to process what kind of magic Subaru was even doing. Truth be told, Subaru didn’t know what the Witch of Envy was even doing.

Emilia looked pale like a ghost, looking at Subaru with both new hope…and new reason to be suspicious and afraid. She stepped back with caution. It wasn't until then that Subaru realized he had forgotten about an important detail.

He learned about it one time when he wanted to show his parents the hands that Envy made(much to his idiocy). But, to his surprise, despite the dozen shadows that flowed throughout the room, his parents were unable to see it. He then remembered his mom's comment about feeling sick in the room, though.

Probably a good thing they didn’t; if they did, then his parents might bring someone to perform an exorcism to get the demonic spirit out of Subaru.

The hunter wasn’t afraid; she smiled again, and looked more…happy. More excited. More filled with blood lust that would entertain her.

Yet also had a cautious look in her eyes. Subaru guessed the hunter was trying to find out what Subaru was doing and how he was doing it, oblivious that it wasn’t really him, but rather the Witch.

“Now this is now getting interesting~” the hunter mentioned, holding on to what’s left of her shoulder. When Subaru looked closer, he could see the light and skinny arm start to regrow itself, regenerating tissue, muscles, and bones while the hunter stared directly at Subaru.

‘She has regeneration? That’s a problem, but I can see the usefulness with it…’ Subaru noted. ‘How much can she regenerate? Does it work when she should be dead, such as getting beheaded? Could she still survive anyway?’

Subaru didn’t have time to answer these questions, and it wasn’t as if he asked the hunter, she would happily explain what she could and couldn’t do.

I love you. I love you. A lot of the time…

I love you. A lot of the time , when someone can regenerate, there is often a limit until it stops. If there isn’t, a common solution is to either destroy the body where there is nothing to regenerate from or contain them where they can’t do anything.

I love you.

In this case, the former is preferred and most likely to work.

‘Wait…then aren’t you the ladder case then since your seal is here? You’re clearly helping me.’

Now’s not the time to get into that…        

“I realized something, I haven’t introduced myself to you two…” the hunter recalled. “At first, you two were just quick victims, but since you both managed to surprise me and get a hit in, alongside the Great Spirit, I think you deserve to know my name so you would know who slayed you both~” the hunter giggled to herself briefly as she looked deeply into both Subaru and Emilia. “Remember this, my name is Elsa Granhiert, the bowel hunter from Gusteko, and I’ll be the last person you’ll see and the last name you’ll hear.”

You won’t dare. You won’t dare. You. Won’t. Dare.

I’ll tear you apart. I’ll tear you apart. I’ll tear you apart. I’ll tear you apart.

The Witch of Envy repeated, directing at Elsa. Or was that both Satella and the Witch of Envy? They both sounded the same, but when both talk at the same time, you can’t tell which one belongs to which side.

Subaru then felt the presence of the Witch of Envy, as even more hands appeared both from Subaru’s body and the area around him. He realized this might soon mean the Witch of Envy was going to reveal herself, which Subaru didn’t want, not until absolutely necessary.

Even if the hands and shadows couldn’t be seen by anyone else besides Subaru, if she revealed her form and manifested herself, then others could see the Witch of Envy…which would be a problem…for others nearby.

‘Envy! Please, settle down for now, I understand your thoughts on wanting to tear Elsa apart, but you can’t fully reveal yourself, you know why!’ Subaru warned.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

It kept repeating in his head, and for a moment, it was all Subaru could think about until Envy slowly settled down, allowing concentration back and no more shadows forming.

Elsa pulled out another blade that matched the one she was already using. Spinning both around playfully before abruptly stopping and resting her hands at her sides.

‘She has an extra? Could this mean she was just toying around?’ Subaru wondered.

“I usually enjoy playing around with my targets, but I suppose I can’t be doing that anymore with you two, oh well,” Elsa explained. “It’s always good to have extra Kukri Knives.”

Subaru felt Emilia’s hand on his shoulder. It was cold and had a light grip as Emilia asked,

“Subaru…a-admittedly, I don’t know what you’re doing or why you came back, but I have, I guess. If you are capable of fighting, could you? I apologize for asking this of you, but I think I can continue for a little longer…”

‘Envy?’

I’LL TEAR HER APART! I’LL TEAR HER APART! I’LL TEAR HER APART! I’LL TEAR HER APART! I’LL TEAR HER APART! I’LL TEAR HER APART! I’LL TEAR HER APART! I’LL TEAR HER APART! I’LL TEAR HER APART! 

Subaru prayed that it was for Elsa and not Emilia.

He then nodded in confirmation at Emilia as she raised her arms toward Elsa and summoned another small, lined group of ice spears. Subaru was preparing to use his knife while Envy’s hands lightly grabbed his shoulders and arms and slowly extended out. There were many of them, and Emilia barely stepped on a good spot on the ground with the many hands that appeared like water rising from cracks.

Taking a deep breath in, Subaru readied himself.

Elsa charged first.

But a surprise came quickly once Elsa charged. Subaru had barely any time to react as one moment, Elsa was a decent distance away, and the next, she was about to slice through him. Subaru didn’t have time to strike, but miraculously, Envy did, as the hands launched rapidly.

Subaru could hear flesh being torn off while Elsa dashed past them with inhuman speed. He then saw Emilia attempting to quickly fire away, all of them missing, with Elsa dodging and running through them.

Emilia then gasped from pain. She clutched her left hip, and Subaru could see a decent cut begin to bleed. Subaru then noticed chunks of shadow-like particles also flying off like dust being blown in the wind. He looked down and saw that his lower body, around his stomach, was being covered by the shadow-like arms and hands.

It was then that Subaru deduced what had just happened.

Elsa was clearly toying around at first as she stated. This dash assault was a demonstration of her true speed when taking it more seriously, a speed that Subaru could barely react to. Emilia tried shooting away, but it all missed, and Elsa attempted to slash both Emilia and Subaru near their guts; however, Envy was able to react in time.

The damage done by Envy to both block and try to tear Elsa apart was evident. Subaru was left uninjured while Elsa, who was now on the opposite side, glanced at her injured shoulder and leg, both of which looked like claws had grabbed the flesh and violently torn it off.

The injuries healed, of course, and Elsa still smirked, but Envy didn’t wait.

Subaru could see the hands coming out of the shadows launching again, her screams of:

I’LL TEAR HER APART! I’LL TEAR HER APART! I’LL TEAR HER APART! I’LL TEAR HER APART! I’LL TEAR HER APART!

Elsa, from seemingly instinct, dashed to the side, glancing back to see the new invisible destruction, taking mental note of the attacks while dodging and circling around the onslaught of Envy’s hands. Emilia, still visibly questioning where the attacks are even coming from, joined in, raining ice that pressured Elsa.

The duo could see Envy doing her work against the hunter, and blood and torn limbs flew and scattered around as Elsa continued to regenerate and dodge. She was just shy of being faster than Envy, making it out before she was grabbed. But given what Subaru could make out from Elsa’s expression, she was increasingly getting annoyed and overwhelmed, with bits of ice spears also hitting her back, shoulders, and one of her legs. 

Elsa then changed tactics; she bolted her way directly at Emilia, dashing past the obstacles, sacrificing more injuries to regenerate as she drove both of her knives into the half-elf.

The hunter was slowed down due to the damage, and Subaru realized that now he could see more of the movement. Emilia did too, raising her arms and creating a shield that blocked the two knives from piercing through her.

Looking at this opportunity, Subaru realized that with Envy, it would create an opening for Subaru to drive his knife straight into Elsa’s throat.

In his mind and deep in his soul, he called out,

‘Ella! Her heart!’

On command, Subaru could feel Satella’s presence drastically increase from Subaru’s body; the presence itself would’ve already been too exposed and dangerous for any watchers, as by now, they would’ve experienced symptoms like passing out, insanity, or coughing blood.

Emilia seemed fine, perhaps because she was a half-elf and stronger than typical human beings…but she still looked disturbed. Her amethyst eyes were turning grim.

It hardly took any time, like time was instant for the Witch as Elsa, once getting her strikes blocked by Emilia, suddenly had her eyes widen. A bursting sound could be heard at the edge of Subaru’s hearing. The bowel hunter began coughing blood, and more blood leaked from her eyes and nose, crouching down to the ground, visibly looking like she’d pass out at any given moment.

Knowing that Elsa’s heart was crushed, Subaru ran in, thrusting his knife forward toward Elsa, stabbing her in the neck. She then collapsed to the ground. The blade of the knife digs in, pressing into the knife more before being pulled out.

Subaru’s heart began to race; it wasn’t the first time he had stabbed someone, not at all, but it still felt surreal…things like that were a bit tough to get used to. It was like one of those experiences you’d never think about having, only just hearing about it from someone else.

Emilia ran over, checking Elsa’s supposedly dead body, asking Subaru,

“I-Is it done? Is she dead? She seemed to have reaallly good regeneration…”

Subaru didn’t respond. But, he did agree.

There was Elsa, down on the ground, most of her face into the ground and not being visible, her knives resting near her resting, motionless hands. Deciding that it was better not to let those knives near Elsa’s grip,  he wondered if he should kick them away, but he felt the temptation reside, not willing to risk getting grabbed and butchered.

Instead, Satella responded within Subaru’s mind and soul.

Not buying it, get away from her.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Get away from her.

I’LL TEAR HER TO PIECES! I’LL TEAR HER TO PIECES! I’LL TEAR HER TO PIECES! I’LL TEAR HER TO PIECES!

Subaru gestured for Emilia to get back, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from Elsa.

Right when he did, Elsa’s eyes opened up, a smile appearing again, only this one looking a little more forced, as if annoyed that they didn’t get close enough. The knives that rested near her hands were grabbed immediately, and she then attempted to get back up.

Emilia, from panic, tried to summon more ice attacks before Envy beat her to it.

Elsa didn’t have time to react or get up before two large shadow-like arms grabbed Elsa, pinning her down to the ground, making her unable to move.

From Subaru’s perspective, Envy summoned additional arms from Subaru’s chest, reaching out to Elsa and grabbing hold of her limbs before simultaneously tearing her limbs apart and crushing her. The body bursts like a water balloon.

Emilia winced at the display, blood bursting and spraying on the ground, staining both Emilia's and Subaru’s white outfits with a crimson color.

“S-Subaru! Isn’t that a little…far?!” Emilia questioned Subaru, unaware that it wasn’t even Subaru doing it. His only contribution was stabbing Elsa once( failing the first time); the rest of it was Puck , Envy, Satella, and Emilia. An interesting squad that half of them didn’t even know about being part of. Knowing this, Subaru felt pathetic, but it didn’t matter anymore; he could at least continue on his special day without it being completed early by the bowel hunter. 

Subaru just shrugged, staring down.

Emilia just continued to look back and forth from Subaru to Envy’s work.

There was hardly anything left of Elsa by the time the hands settled down and went back to nothingness within Subaru’s chest. Only a large pile of blood was in the middle of the street. Speaking about it, the street was wrecked with ice, torn walls, and grounds. It was a mess, and Subaru couldn’t help but feel bad for the people in the slums who might have to deal with this new destruction.

How…common were fights like these? Maybe someone has a building-type magic to fix all of this quickly? Or maybe there were laws against fights unless self-defense…

Sighing in relief, Subaru stretched a bit before beginning to steadily walk away from the scene, his knife still dripping with Elsa’s blood.

“I…don’t think she’s coming back…” Emilia commented, staring down at the massive pool of blood and slim chunks that were once called Elsa.

Subaru nodded in agreement.

‘What do you think, Ella?’

I love you.

‘I know…’

I love you. I love you. I love you.

I…think that should be good, hardly anything to even regenerate…just, I’ll keep looking out while you get out of here.

‘I guess that makes sense,’ Subaru agreed. ‘Where did she even unlock an ability like that?’

Perhaps a divine blessing? Those are normally granted by Od Luguna at birth; they are pretty rare.

‘Od Luguna?’ Subaru repeated in his mind. It sounded similar to the country of Lugnica. He then asked, ‘Is Od Luguna like a god-figure in this world?’

It’s more of a sentient system…But I guess you can make that comparison from your world if that helps. I love you.

I love you. I love you.

‘I see…’

“Subaru!” Emilia snapped Subaru out of his trance. He felt slightly annoyed at the interruption between him and Satella, but he ignored that feeling. Turning toward Emilia.

“Glad to get you back to reality, you dunderhead! I was reeaaallly worried!” Emilia exclaimed.

‘Who says dunderhead in this day and age?’ Subaru questioned himself.

Who says “dunderhead” at all… 

“You’re hurt, aren’t you?”

Emilia scanned Subaru’s body, double-checking the blood to make sure it was Elsa’s instead of his own. Her eyes went alert at seeing the slash above Subaru’s eye.

She didn’t waste any time, holding her hand over the wound, and a light was emitted between her hand and Subaru’s head.

He stood there, awkwardly, feeling that same weird sensation of healing magic like before.

It didn’t take long; soon after, Emilia lowered her arm and the light faded away. 

Subaru looked at Emilia and noticed a few cuts that she hadn’t healed yet.

He pointed to it.

‘She’s hurt too, I remember Elsa striking her a couple of times…’’

Emilia looked down and, with a reassuring voice, replied,

“I-I’m fine, I’ll heal it, it’s not much. I was just…” Emilia trailed off, looking at Subaru with hesitancy. Her eyes winced, and her skin seemed slightly more pale, perhaps being one of the side effects of exposure near Subaru. Once more, the Witch of Envy was exposed. Otherwise, physically speaking, she seemed fine, excluding injuries. “I wanted to ask something, Subaru. I’m sorry if this is mean or you get the feeling I don’t trust you, but I wanted to ask…what was that?”

Subaru knew she was referring to the invisible hands…or at least invisible to everyone else.

But, of course, he didn’t say anything, nor did he have an idea of what to say even if he did talk. How was he supposed to explain that his hated beloved, the Witch of Envy, saved him from danger and fought for Subaru’s suicidal weak self? He couldn’t.

If he did talk, his response would’ve been some sort of magic he learned and called it a day.

Seeing Subaru’s silence, Emilia corrected herself,

“R-Right…sorry.” She then went quiet, looked down, and little orbs of light came back that danced around the slash marks. Subaru saw first-hand how the wounds eventually closed themselves in before returning to a whole state, like the wounds were never there, besides the dried blood that came out.

Once Emilia finished, she glanced at what remained of Elsa and then back at Subaru. Since it seemed over with, she pondered something, before her eyes lit up with realization.

For a moment, she looked panicked, frantically looking around the ground and all the blood. Subaru guessed it was the insignia. Elsa was the one who had it after all, getting it from the dead blonde.

She still looked visibly disturbed, though, obviously not feeling calm about searching through the bloodied ground, but it seemed important enough for her to try.

Subaru sighed to himself, figuring that since Envy and Satella did come to help and fight for him, he could at least be of better use and help find the insignia.

“Mm! Where is it? W-Where is it?” Emilia asked, not directing to anybody. She continued to run through the large puddle of blood, crouching a little, scanning every corner and crack she could see.

Subaru, being less disturbed by the sight, came to her aid, not feeling much sickness from navigating the bloodied scene. He still wanted to be careful, though; he’d prefer not walking around with blood everywhere and making everyone think he committed a crime himself.

He gulped those thoughts down, briefly recalling…bad moments.

The presence of Satella in his soul and body calmed him down. He felt those memories behind held back…for now. It was one of those small things that Satella and Envy could do; they could affect Subaru’s memories, specifically pulling some away. However, they could also extract it, witness it, and experience it. In other words, anything Subaru could remember, both Satella and Envy know about it.

Like Envy, at first, years ago, he was…cautious? Concerned? Subaru wondered about the implications that maybe there were memories being kept from him. Satella assured she wouldn’t do that unless it was truly needed , while Envy…normally didn’t do anything regarding memories; she was more of the physical defender for Subaru since she mostly was the one that appeared.

Satella was better at mental support, talking and comforting more.

It began feeling nice as well once Subaru got used to it. The more he thought about it, the more he figured out the convenience behind it. With Satella being able to see through his memories, she knew everything about him; she always knew what Subaru was thinking, and now understood Subaru down to every cell of his body and mind.

Subaru felt like Satella was a physical manifestation of home, his home, in a living being. All of those memories were contained and shared between the two.

This current one is a new addition.

“ I…got it… ” Subaru quietly called, feeling the small, triangular object with the red gem in the middle. It was coated with the blood of Elsa, but in one piece. To be blunt, Subaru considered it a miracle that it was at all in this condition since Elsa was torn and crushed to near dust by Envy. He guessed, with the speed Elsa was going, it dropped…maybe being knocked out of the pocket?

Nevertheless, Emilia’s eyes brightened with relief and happiness.

“Y-You found it? You found it!” Subaru tossed the bloodied insignia to Emilia, which she caught softly. Emilia looked at Subaru with a beaming and thankful facial expression. Subaru looked away, uncomfortable with further eye contact.

Emilia was about to say more, but before she spoke, Subaru noticed something odd. When Elsa first collapsed, she dropped her knives near her hands, and she grabbed them, but pretty soon after, she was torn to oblivion.

But if that’s true…where were her knives?

Subaru didn’t recall Envy eradicating them, too, unless through all the shadows, Subaru just didn’t see.

Satella must’ve pieced the conclusion together alongside Subaru because both began hearing quick, yet almost silent thuds racing toward the two.

Out of instinct, Subaru alerted in his head, grabbing Emilia abruptly and pulling her toward the ground, a little away from her current spot.

‘Protect us!’

I’LL TEAR HER APART!

Subaru saw, from the ground and his own body, everything erupting into shadows as dozens of small and large hands circled and snaked around both Emilia and Subaru, creating a barrier.

In a nick of time, there was a striking sound, more footsteps that began getting higher in height. Emilia, seeing through the shadows, followed an unknown object. From her eyes and head movement, it was like this danger attempted to strike at them, hit an invisible wall, and flipped right over them.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

The shadows that covered Emilia and Subaru called out to Subaru’s ears, driving them in, making sure that every piece of Subaru’s mind and soul could hear it. It was like all the other times, and Subaru responded with how he always did, smiling more at the reassurance from Envy.

‘I love you too…’

Then came another voice, the familiar, seductive voice of Elsa,

“So that’s it~ I see now…”

The shadows that wrapped around the two began to unravel themselves , most returning to nothingness within the ground and Subaru’s body, some dust fragments floating around being made of what remained of the hands.

Subaru and Emilia looked up, Subaru with subtle frustration seeing that the special day could still be ruined by this one persistent hunter, while Emilia with nervousness clear on her face, but with a shine of determination and hope.

Elsa stood tall, standing on the edge of a ceiling from a small destroyed house that possibly could be Subaru’s fault…or Emilia, depending on what hit the building, the hands or the projectiles.

The hunter didn’t have the same look anymore; she looked…frustrated, her glare with those back eyes made Subaru want to look away, but he knew that wasn’t the best idea. But there was still a slight smile.

“Although I can’t tell what you are doing with those invisible attacks, I’ve made the deduction that they aren’t…yours, are they~?” Elsa commented. “Throughout the fight, I’ve noticed that your reaction compared to your invisible strikes toward me did not match; you couldn’t react fast enough, yet somehow I was still getting hit with precision. Something else helped you instead…didn’t it?”

Elsa then dashed, leaping and parkouring suddenly, where she was now circling Emilia and Subaru.

“That’s enough! I won’t let you hurt Subaru!” Emilia proclaimed, standing up tall and preparing more ice spears.

“I realized that, so~ unfortunately, our dance must be cut short,” Elsa stated. She then circled them further, boosting her speed where Subaru struggled to follow her movements in time. 

Subaru guessed that Elsa still couldn’t be sure when there was a hand coming for a heart-crushing or one to grab her, so she kept the movement up.

“How boorish~”

She then stopped once again, now on the opposite side, climbing her way up some other walls of the Slums before dashing out, her final warning being,

“Keep your bowels nicely in color for me, because something tells me we’ll meet again, and I won’t let that trick prevent me next time~”

With that, Elsa disappeared. Emilia, still cautious, lightly grabbed Subaru as they headed away with caution.

While they did, Emilia briefly rasped and coughed.

Subaru guessed that the effect of Envy reached her more after she, too, was coated with the shadows that protected the two of them…

...Or maybe just Subaru, Emilia was protected because she was right next to him, so it blocked both of them from Elsa’s sudden sneak attack.

While they quickly headed away, Subaru realized it was beginning to get dark, with scattered stars being visible in the sky. Emilia was silent; Subaru didn’t know why, but he was fine with the silence.

Eventually, they stopped, figuring that Elsa truly wasn’t coming back for another sneak attack anytime soon. Emilia looked at Subaru while Subaru refused eye contact.

“Subaru…” Emilia called out.

Subaru nodded slightly in awareness.

Emilia then smiled softly,

“T-Thank you…you saved me…” Emilia paused before whispering, “You saved my life…you could’ve left, you should’ve listened to what I told you…But you came back. Thank you…”

Subaru shook his head.

‘It was the Witch of Envy who helped, don’t give me the credit…don’t take her points away…I was just that random kid who showed the superhero where the danger was.’

But it wasn’t like Subaru was going to say anything…nor was it reasonable to even say out loud.

“Ah, right, your…friend, I believe that’s fair, to say, right? A friend?” Emilia, seemingly recalling Elsa’s past statement. Subaru nodded profusely, which made Emilia laugh, albeit a bit nervously, 

“Wherever they are…Strangely, I never could see them. Are they away? I’m sure they’re nice. But if you weren’t here, then things might’ve gone bad for me. I’ll need to keep this insignia more secure… ”

Emilia then cleared her throat, her silver hair blowing lightly in the wind. She then stood more confidently.

“Either way, thank you very much! I’m in debt to you, and I want to reward you, Subaru. It’s the least I can do…w-within my power of course!”

‘A debt?’

Yes, Subaru-kun, a debt. Cultural and social differences may be present between worlds, but in this world, things like promises and debts are highly valued . I’ve mentioned this before with promises, do you remember?

‘Yes…I remember you mentioning the importance of promises. I remember sometimes being scared to promise you anything because I feared the slight chance that I couldn’t fulfill it…’

Although Subaru would never admit this out loud, not even in his own head at times, but over time, Subaru began distancing himself from making any promises. Satella didn’t blame him, technically, the first promise breaker was her…but it was okay…Subaru wasn’t angry. He never could be angry at her.

Envy, however, was an interesting story to say the least.

He figured eventually, there was going to be something that Subaru would do that Satella would be against…something like his special day, so it was better not to make any promises. He would feel worse that way.

‘My…special day,’ Subaru remembered. The whole point of this was just one last kind act before he ended all of it. The worry of Elsa cutting it short for him, the wonder if he felt ready to die this way.

But when Subaru pulled out his knife, accidentally causing Emilia to step back in surprise, he stared at it. It was drenched with blood already , which was not preferred by Subaru. How could he continue with it when it’s already covered in blood that wasn’t his? It was bought for this occasion.

Subaru looked over to Emilia again, patiently waiting and wondering about Subaru’s response. He then lightly grabbed Emilia’s sleeve and began wiping the blood from the knife onto the white sleeve, staining it even more with a dark red.

“Subaru?” Emilia questioned.

“ I…just want this… ” Subaru mumbled.

Emilia looked at her sleeve now, marked by the blood of Elsa from Subaru’s knife. She didn’t seem to understand at all.

“This? Subaru, this is all you wanted in return? Are you reeaallly sure? This isn’t much of a reward at all,” Emilia asked, mumbling to herself, “ A-Also…why bloody my clothes…I guess they were already stained with blood, weren’t they… ” Emilia giggled, an uncertain undertone still being present, probably from the morbid idea. “I guess it’s like playing in the mud and bushes, don’t you think?”

Subaru nodded in remembrance of his childhood. 

“ I’d…prefer my…knife clean, ” Subaru softly spoke. “ It’s for a special day…tonight… ”

Emilia was still puzzled, but then smiled awkwardly,

“Like for someone special?”

Subaru smiled back, nodding slowly in response.

Emilia still didn’t seem to understand, but accepted the answer. However, she did question the balance between rewards, though.

“But Subaru, this isn’t anywhere near enough of a debt paid, you could’ve washed that in a river or back in the capital.”

“ Why…? Your sleeve was…right there, ” Subaru pointed at Emilia’s arm.

“B-But…” Emilia hesitated, trying to contemplate it. She then sighed, “I…still feel like I have more of a debt to owe you; this was nothing on my part. I was the one who dragged you into this, and it was because of you that we’re safe. I could’ve…we both could’ve died.”

Emilia looked away, guilt clearly spread across her face and eyes.

She looked like Satella whenever she seemed sad. Subaru didn’t like that.

He then lightly rested his hand on Emilia’s shoulder and grinned lightly,

“ We’re safe… ”

“But, I could’ve done more…” Emilia argued. “I could do so much more than just lend my sleeve over, I could…take you to the manor, yes! That's it! Take you to the manor! We could clean your clothes too! I’m sure Roswaal would happily compensate your efforts and reward you! Come to think of it, you never seemed concerned about finding a place to stay or going anywhere… do you even have a place to go to?”

Subaru nodded, letting go of Emilia’s shoulder.

‘The shadow garden’

“ I…think I…should be going now… ” Subaru decided to end this off early before Emilia started listing other ways she could repay him. “ Party…like I said…I have a special day with somebody… ”

“Y-You sure, I could walk with you there, it’s dark and it might be dangerous…what if you get attacked by someone like those three before?” Emilia argued.

‘Walk with me? Even if I did have a physical location to go to, it would be more concerning for two individuals to walk up the front door with blood on their clothes. They would look like they just got done mowing down half of the capital and desiring a midnight snack before coming back to finish the job.’

Regardless of his thoughts, Subaru just shrugged, demonstrating his knife again to Emilia, remembering the previous encounter with the thugs, which led to one being stabbed, the other nearly dying from heart crushing, and all three getting the hell away.

“ It’s not far… ”

“B-But wouldn’t they worry about the blood on you?”

‘They’d be more worried about two individuals who have blood on them,’ Subaru argued in his head. He pondered it for a bit before wondering,

‘Or would just one person look worse?’

Subaru shook his head.

Emilia, though still unsatisfied and guilty, took a moment to contemplate before nodding,

“I-I understand…”

Subaru wasn’t sure how to end their interaction, but he realized that just walking away would be…an interesting ending to their one-day meeting each other, so before he began to walk, he added,

“I-It was nice meeting you, Emilia.” Subaru tried his best to make his voice sound right, to sound more confident and audible rather than the slow mumbling he often did.

Emilia stared at Subaru for a moment, silent, before responding with a small smile. Her eyes were glowing, and despite the blood, her white and purple dress made her glow in the darkness that consumed both individuals. She then smiled more deeply, letting out a small giggle,

“Y-Yes! It was nice…meeting you, Subaru.”

Subaru began to walk away instantly, unsure of where he was heading, but he didn’t want to make it seem like he didn’t know his way through the unfamiliar slums.

It took about ten seconds of walking before Subaru heard his name being called by Emilia,

“Hey, Subaru!” 

Subaru turned around.

“Although I want to repay you more, you deserve it, but if this is truly what you wanted, then…I won’t go against your wish,” Emilia explained. She held her hands together in a formal stance. “But…”

Emilia waved,

“Thank you, Subaru. Thank you very much for coming back and saving me, and tell your friend that I thank them too!”

She paused.

“I would like to see you again, Subaru…maybe sometime in the future, we could meet each other again. It’ll be nice, it’s been a bit since anyone new I met didn’t mind my appearance…even if…n-nevermind.”

She held a brief, sad look before going back.

“But, I don’t want to keep you waiting on the special day. I’m sorry, it’s my fault…b-but, it sounds fun and I hope you still make it! Don’t want them to be waiting for you…”

Subaru nodded, slower than ever; he gripped his knife tighter when Emilia spoke of his special day.

“ Thank you… ” Subaru quietly replied in reassurance. “ I’ll be going… ”

“R-Right!” Emilia then raised her voice with energy. “Have fun at the party, okay! I reeaaally wish to meet again!”

“ Goodbye… ” was all Subaru replied; he began walking away while Emilia slowly turned, glancing at him occasionally, before heading out the opposite direction.

Pretty soon, Subaru was now in silence, wondering where the others in the slums were. Nobody was nearby, and that relieved Subaru, at least no other interruptions…

He walked blindly, staring at the stars above, admiring their beauty. He spent this time also trying to understand what had just happened. The Bowel Hunter. Subaru, meeting Emilia for a stolen insignia, and all of this with chasing, where the blonde girl could’ve gone.

His mind flashed back to the blonde girl, the scene of her death alongside the other, large, old man he didn’t recognize.

Subaru believed that the blonde girl was most definitely part of the slums, probably grew up in them. Even if he didn’t know, he made a guess and figured that was how she survived, maybe even abandoned by her family? Left to rot…

He could relate to surviving by stealing. Subaru remembered those undesirable memories again, how he, to some extent, saw himself in the blonde girl. Besides, even if she didn’t help him in the alley, she was looking out for herself, running away after stealing from Emilia. He didn’t harbor resentment.

Especially not after seeing her body.

It was weird; he didn’t know her. Why did he care?

He felt stupid again.

But it still made his heart tighten a bit at the thought.

Growing up in poor conditions and dying from someone like the Bowel Hunter.

‘Poor girl…’

But it’s not like he could fix it, anyway.

Glancing at the stars, enough was enough…

He had an interesting time in this new world, but that wasn’t going to change his outcome. It was he who desired…after all. Emilia was not Satella. Emilia can live her life however she wants; Subaru didn’t care. But for him? He’s not going to live…physically that is…he’s going to die and join the shadow garden.

If anything, that was the closest thing to a promise he would make nowadays, that he would make today…

He’s coming to join the Witch of Envy.

He’s coming to join Satella.

Together.

Subaru smiled, finding a small bridge over a slow-moving river that split the slums into two areas, on opposite sides, two decently large trees stood tall.

He sighed, glancing at his knife and back to the tree where he slowly sat down.

Subaru was too far gone now. Too far to quit.

Gazing at the stars once more, he remembered where, nearby in some farm field back on Earth, he rested his body on the pointy grass and looked at the stars, as if they had a strong pull on his eyes. They were beautiful, and he talked all about them to Satella. She tended to ask a lot of questions, especially at first.

He remembered how it was his parents who took him stargazing once when he wa s…s ix, he believed …? He never forgot that moment. It became nearly an obsession of his; it was just too grand not to think about it. After all, he was named after the Pleiades star cluster. In a way, it was like he was meant to be connected to them.

But he had something else in his mind. The knife in his hand, the key of his special day, which he gripped carefully, his fingers curling around the handles. He then slowly raised the knife, pointing it at his throat; his hands didn’t shake, but his heart began to race.

The shadows spoke. They kept speaking.

I love you.

That voice was like music that Subaru didn’t want to stop listening to.

Even if at times , he felt the constant reminder made it less impactful, like the other person was forcing it on themselves, in a moment like this, that reminder felt addictive.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

He was proud of the voices that called to him. Proud that the shadows loved him.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Subaru-kun. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

He was gluttonous; he needed more. He wanted to hear them more. It was never enough.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Subaru. I love you. I love you. Subaru. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

He was wrathful; his actions of violence against himself, the need to join the shadows, and with this wrath, he could do it.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Subaru-kun! I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

He was lustful; Subaru needed every embrace from the shadows, wanting to embrace it back as passionately as it did for him.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Subaru! I love you. Subaru! I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

He was greedy; while never being enough, he didn’t want to share it with anyone else; he wanted it all to himself. Nobody else. Nobody else ever.   

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Subaru-kun! I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

He was slothful; Subaru felt like his efforts weren’t enough, that he didn’t show enough to prove that he loved the shadows. That he loved her. That he loved both sides of her. He felt like he was…not putting in the work that he should’ve, that he could’ve…

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Subaru. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Subaru. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

He was envious; Subaru envied anyone who could reach their greatest wish, feeling like it was just out of reach. If it were, he hated that; he hated others who could reach their wish, while he could only suffer, staring at the finish flag at the end, but could never reach it.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I won’t let you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I won’t let you, Subaru-kun. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I’m sorry. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. 

Feeling the tip of the knife begin to pierce his neck, he took one last breath.

He whispered, one last time,

“ I…love…you. ”

Then, he felt a sharp pain in the entirety of his neck. He drove the knife in, his eyes bloodshot and his movements now shaking, feeling the pain burn hotter and hurt more and more.

But he accepted it. He drove the knife out, letting his open neck do the rest of the work.

Subaru grinned, falling to his side, his eyes glancing at the stars once more, his eyesight blurred, and he lay there, already feeling the shadows, the hands of Satella and Envy, all reach out to him, all embracing him, all letting him join in.

He felt his eyes grow heavier; he allowed them to close without much fight, seeing flashes of recent events, flashes of his time helping the Satella lookalike, Emilia. Facing the Bowel Hunter, Elsa, and gazing at the stars before his final breaths.

Soon, everything went dark, and he felt the tenderness, the embrace of the woman he had attached himself so much to. His everything.

Subaru Natsuki died.

He wanted to smile, to laugh, to talk, but he couldn’t.

Regardless, he was–

He was…

Subaru then felt his eyes open, a flash of light before he heard his own heartbeat, his senses feeling familiar sensations, and his eyes seeing a familiar image of that alleyway.

The shadows were gone, the garden was gone, and Subaru realized where he was.

He was in the alleyway…? Yes, yes, he was. How?

It didn’t make sense…it didn’t…

No, it made sense.

Subaru felt the sun hit his skin on a small part of his body, with the rest in shade. He looked down at his unopened bag of chips that was still in his hand, with the knife put aside.

He was an idiot; Subaru thought that she would let him join her in the Shadow Garden. He knew what she wanted, and it didn’t seem like she was going to give up anytime soon.

Chapter Text

Subaru took a moment to register it.

It was unnatural. Unexplainable. Unthinkable.

It is theorized that if you die in a dream, you wake up because the brain doesn’t know what happens after death.

But…here Subaru was.

He held his neck with his hand, touching it, feeling it, seeing it exist.

‘No blood. No wound…’ Subaru realized. His throat tightened, recalling when he stabbed himself in the neck, ending it all.

Or rather, what should’ve been the end…

Before he had the time to think more about it, Subaru was snapped out of his trance by the sounds of familiar footsteps.

He looked ahead, the silhouette of three figures. One small, one thin, and one big.

Subaru recognized the figures. It was the thugs.

“Hey there, are you lost?” the lanky one asked, clearly not out of concern…for the second time.

Subaru quickly got up, more alert. He pulled out his knife out of instinct and held it in front of him, toward the three.

“Ha! Look at him and his puny knife? Does he really think he could take us down with THAT?” The small thug taunted.

The big thug cracked his knuckles,

“If you wanna’ be rough about it, then sure, we can handle it.”

“But,” the lanky thug continued, pulling out a knife of his own, “If you set that blade aside, and cough up everything ya got, then we’ll leave you in one piece…”

Subaru didn’t respond.

But, strangely, he now felt compelled to ask something.

The bugging question he was dealing with, barely listening to any of the threats the thugs were declaring.

He had killed himself. He had joined the Shadow Garden; he knew he had. However, he was rejected from it… No, he was welcomed, but brought out…

Why?

No, that’s an easy question.

Satella didn’t want him to die. She didn’t want Subaru just to end his life. He knew that. He always knew that.

Maybe a part of him figured that Satella would give up and give in to Subaru’s…request? The request. The desire to die and join her.

But here he was.

The thugs got closer, an attempt to intimidate their new prey. Subaru backed up cautiously, wondering what he should do.

“Not budgin’, huh? Well then, don’t say we didn’t warn ya–”

“Outta’ my way!” the familiar voice of the blonde thief yelled. The three turned around, with Subaru staring too.

The ghost of a dead girl sprinted toward them, a determined look spread across her eyes, getting away from the Satella lookalike, Emilia, whom she had stolen from.

The thugs watched, bracing to be run over until the thief jumped right over, parkouring up the buildings as they stared in disbelief.

Using the time they were distracted, Subaru decided that for the moment, he’d rather avoid confrontation. If he remembered clearly, Emilia could handle the thugs easily. If not, she had Puck.

As the blonde climbed on the roof above them, Subaru snatched his bag, tucked his knife in his pocket, and bolted. He heard the thief yell out,

“Good luck with that!”

Subaru ran out of the alley, hearing the three thugs yell out profanities before stopping at the sound of a new arrival. That arrival most likely was Emilia, who followed the thief to this alley.

He nearly got himself run over, barely stopping his momentum before running straight into the oncoming traffic of dragon carriages.

Subaru even heard the voice of a man call out to him,

“Whoa! You there, watch where you’re going, you’re going to die running around like that!”

He turned to the voice. It was a green-haired man selling apples.

Subaru didn’t respond.

He just nodded, before looking around and continuing running, letting the man sell his apples, or “appas” according to how he announced what he was selling.

He wasn’t sure where he was running to. He didn’t see the thief, and she didn’t seem to be on any of the rooftops anymore; whether she was just out of sight or off of them, it didn’t matter. Subaru continued running, figuring that maybe an isolated place would be nice. That way, he could more clearly talk to Satella. To the shadows.

Speaking of the lack of light, Subaru was almost blinded by the sudden burst of sunlight. It wasn’t this bright at all when he stabbed himself. It was nighttime, where the stars glowed like beautiful fireflies.

But it didn’t matter now.

Subaru just kept going, slowing down and easing his pace once he started getting tired of all the running.

Looking around, he realized he ended up closer to the higher vantage points of the capital. Closer to where Subaru originally suggested for Emilia to look.

Was this intentional? Did his subconscious want to return? Subaru didn’t know.

Climbing up the steps, there weren’t many voices nearby besides the distant shouts of the marketplace down on the lower end of the capital.

He took a deep breath in, feeling his neck once more, recalling his suicide…attempt.

It felt surreal.

Subaru sat down at the steps, out of the middle in case anyone wanted to pass by down or up the steps. He looked up at the bright daytime sky, almost wishing he could see those same stars he had…however long ago.

Speaking of “however long ago”...

Subaru looked down at his bags of chips. Both were unopened. He remembered that the thugs showed up when he was about halfway through the onion-flavored bag. The contemplation and shock of what happened must’ve taken long enough for the thugs to show up before he even opened the bag again.

He looked at his knife. His special knife. It lacked blood stains of any kind, pretending like it hadn’t just been used to stab its owner in the throat.

Subaru then remembered the thugs and the blonde thief. The four of them didn’t recognize him. The thief ran by as usual, and the thugs tried to mug him like usual.

Also, the fact that it was daytime now…leaves no room to deny it.

Subaru had gone through a time leap.

When he died, he was sent back in time to a…checkpoint. A save point, like in video games.

Before he thought about the logistics of the time leap, the biggest questions needed to be answered.

How, who, and why.

It didn’t take Subaru much to figure out the obvious culprit of this time leap. If anything, it was the first name he thought of right when he returned.

Subaru called out in a hushed voice.

“Satella…this was your doing, right?”

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

“You brought me back…because you didn’t want me to end it all. You wanted me to live on…”

I love you. Yes. I did. I granted you this…authority, you may call it.

Subaru felt a gentle hand on both of his shoulders, as if air was applying force on them. He looked over his shoulder, and from his back, he could see that it grew out two shadow hands that gently embraced Subaru.

“An authority…?”

I believe I told you this once before, but for a reminder, authorities typically come from witch factors; they are special…powers and abilities that are outside of Od Laguna. They defy the rules of the world in all shapes and sizes, and what they do depends on the individuals’ mindsets and values.

I love you.

However, this authority…is one I grant to you, Subaru-kun.

“The ability to turn back time?” Subaru looked at his hands. He wondered if he could do it now, before he remembered what it took for the time leap to occur.

Satella continued.

This authority you’ve been gifted with, Subar-kun, allows you to get back to a specific moment in time and continue on with whatever new actions you choose to commit to.

“Then the activation of it must be dying…”

Satella paused for a moment.

A silent, still moment with no wind blowing on Subaru’s tracksuit or hair.

Yes.

Satella finally said.

I gave you this authority. I gave you this authority…because I love you.

“But…why…I don’t understand, what’s the—”

I don’t want you to join me in the Shadow Garden…

The words almost struck like daggers to Subaru’s heart. He gulped.

I love you. Which is why I don’t want you to join me…

To put it simply. I know what Envy thinks.

She loves you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. And I do too.

But I cannot stand looking at you with the face you make when it comes to being alive. I want you to live. Not just breathe air. But, truly live. If you can find one reason…just one reason…for you not to end it all…then that’s my wish for you.

“But what good does it do…? There’s nothing of my original world left for me to care about! To connect to!” Subaru didn’t mean to raise his voice. It just came out like that. “You’re the only one I have left! You can’t just….deny me…like that!”

I know you want to join me. I understand how you feel…

I’ve loved you for a long time. A long, long time. You and nobody else.

Subaru felt another hand patting his head, digging into the hair a bit.

What good does it do?

It’ll make me happy…

It’ll make me feel happy…

I want you with me, but at the same time, I want you to complete your life happily. Not in the limbo in your mind, gradually, debating, determining, whether you should end it already or not. That’s not what I want. How could I possibly desire that from you?

“I’ve made my choice…” Subaru mumbled. “For quite a while now, I’ve made my choice…”

Now, you get to make a choice again.

“And if I do it again?”

And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

You, my beloved, will have all the chances.

That’s my love. That’s my gift. That’s what I want to bless you with…

“If it’s your gift, then what happens if I kill myself repeatedly? Make you quit?”

…

I love you. I love you. I love you.

My love is eternal. My love for you is eternal.

“Nothing lasts forever…I learned that a long time ago…” Subaru reminisced, trailing off from his speech.

Time, to me, is nothing. Time is a circle for me. Some may say I’m unshackled by it.

“I know…but, you’re lonely, aren’t you?”

Not anymore, not with you here.

“But I’m not…truly there for you. Not when I can come so much closer…” Subaru explained. He then chuckled, “It’s funny, I imagine that in the darkness, your silver hair and pale skin would glow within it, like a moon in the night sky. I’d be drawn to it, hold your hands, your body, you, and we’d be so close, we can practically melt into each other…we’d be one.”

That thought…sounds nice. I like having those dreams too.

There was a sudden stab to his heart after hearing the words “dreams”; it was like implying that it could never happen. That it was just nothing but a delusion. Was he delusional? If he was, then whatever delusion he was in felt too good to back out of. Too strong for his awareness to be able to break him out of it.

Maybe he was delusional that Satella would ever quit before Subaru did.

Maybe Satella was delusional for choosing someone like Subaru to be the one she cherished. It did feel strange…he was never sure why she chose him.

…

One year…

“Huh…?”

A deal. A promise. A contract. It could be considered a lot of things. But a vow between us nonetheless.

A vow because I love you.

“What…kind of vow?”

I want you to try, Subaru-kun. To try to live day by day, and find something worth living in this world for.

In 365 days, on your second special day, I will ask you, and you will answer. I will allow you to make your choice. Your final choice. If even by then, you stay insistent on joining me in the Shadow Garden…I won’t decline. I won’t stop you. I’ll embrace it the same as I’ve embraced you throughout your life.

Subaru’s eyes widened at the vow Satella asked of him. He had to admit, he was surprised that Satella would make an offer like that.

Though Subaru couldn’t help but smile. Satella would accept him, embrace him, let him join her. 365 days later. From today to the 365th day, Subaru just had to exist.

“In one year, if I…choose to do so, I can join you,” Subaru repeated, wanting to make sure that the vow said was correct.

Yes.

More invisible hands emerged from the ground and shadows below, embracing Subaru.

In one year. Because I love you, I will let you make your choice. Join me, or continue to live on just a little more. Because I love you, I want you to at least try in this world.

“At least…try…” Subaru gulped.

Subaru then took a deep breath in.

One year? He just had to be alive for one year…

Then his special day will come as planned…just postponed for one exact year.

Subaru felt slightly frustrated that his special day was not only stopped, but also now postponed by his beloved, whom he wanted to join…but…for her…surely Subaru can accept. Satella was accepting his special day; she just wanted him to try to live and reconsider. It sounded reasonable.

With a heavy heart of acceptance, he nodded,

“Okay…okay…I will follow as you say. I accept. One year. 365 days.”

Subaru could tell the shadows were pleased. Happy. Tearful. Ecstatic. Relieved.

May we set up some ground rules between us on how this…contract may work?

Subaru shrugged,

“Sure.”

Condition one: 365 full days through time. You cannot go back in time and wait it out. I know you are clever; you’ve probably figured something like that out.

Subaru faked making a pout, but nodded nonetheless.

Condition two: Return by Death is still accessible.

“You gave the gift a name like this?”

Yes. My precious gift to save you from eternal death. We shall call it “Return by Death”.

Subaru was going to ask if she possessed the ability to bring him back in time without the activation of dying, but given everything he knew about how Satella thinks, probably not. 

He nodded.

Also, because I love you. Don’t. Abuse. It. Use it when you find it important.

Subaru chuckled a little at Satella's serious tone. Normally, people would be afraid if the Witch of Envy were here, let alone when the witch was stern with them, but Subaru found it cute(another reason why he’s the crazy one), though he understood why Satella would inform them of it.

Lastly, condition three. Live, don’t just exist. Try one good deed per day if that helps.

He nodded one last time.

To be fair, he’d prefer not to live homeless for the entire year. He’d already had enough experience living in the streets, and he’d prefer not to repeat that. If this is a fantasy medieval world, then maybe he could use the knowledge of Earth to invent things for business.

“Are those the conditions?” Subaru asked.

Yes. That should be all. I am a flexible lady, you know?

Subaru laughed,

“I know. I know. Of course you are, how else would you tolerate constantly being with someone like–”

Subaru felt one of the shadow hands snake around his neck and cover his mouth.

If you say "someone like me", we’re having a long talk, Subaru-kun. You are my beloved. I love you for who you are; that is that.

Subaru felt like disagreeing that he’s at all worthy of being loved…but for now, for Satella and Envy, he’ll stay quiet about it.

Instead, his mind drifted to the gift.

Return by Death.

The ability to go back in time after dying. To defy and avoid fate. To fix mistakes. To fix…mistakes…

His mind flashed back to what happened.

“Ella…I have a question…”

What is it? I love you. I love you. I love you.

“How long…could you have granted me Return by Death?” Subaru inquired. When he thought about what happened, all Subaru would’ve wanted was to redo it all…to not give in to what life brought…but, if Satella could always have granted Subaru the ability to Return by Death…does that mean she kept it to herself?

Subaru tried reasoning with it.

Even at nine years old, Subaru, though afraid as hell, would have willingly killed himself in order to save them. If Satella knew that…then it would be reasonable for her not to say it. But she was the one who said she couldn’t heal them? She was the one who apologized and said it was too late…

Did she…let them die because she didn’t want Subaru to kill himself and save them?

Subaru chose not to voice any of these conclusions out loud, letting Satella speak for herself.

The way the shadows dropped in Subaru’s hearing signified that Satella had an understanding of what Subaru was fearing.

I couldn’t give you this gift in your world, Subaru-kun.

Subaru felt a large sigh of relief wash out of him.

I wish I could have. But, you remember how I explained that my power is far limited? I love you. I love you. That is not just being within this world outside of my seal, but also being in your world limits it even more. If my real body were in the seal, then what I am now is just a shadow of my real body, and what I was in your world was a shadow of a shadow. The only reason you saw me as so strong was that no one in your world had magic or saw me unless I manifested more of myself into presence.

“I get it,” Subaru replied. “Due to you not only being sealed, but also reaching yourself into a completely different world, your power just kept getting weakened to the point you couldn’t do as much as you normally would have. But, since now I’m in the same world as your seal is, your power strengthened, which allows you to do more, such as granting Return by Death…”

Yes. It’s like shooting a gun underwater, the bullet slows enough within distance before coming to a complete stop.

“I’m not going to get used to you talking about Earthly things,” Subaru grinned. “But not going to lie, kind of wish I found a gun back then and stole it, it would have limited bullets, but…it would be nicer protection than my inexperience with fighting with a knife. The only experience I had was killing myself and several stab-and-run.” It wasn’t the first time he had stabbed anyone to get away; the first time was when he was eleven. But a gun would still work far nicer. Not many would expect a device to shoot high-speed bullets that could cause instant death if they hit the head. An idea popped into Subaru's mind. “Do you think you can send me back to Earth or not?”

I can’t. It takes quite a bit of power to pull someone from another world into here.

“Ah, so one use, and a one-way ticket to a fantasy world,” Subaru sighed.

Think of it like an isekai. I’m sure magic could be an option.

“You think?” Subaru questioned. It did seem reasonable, even more so from the person who is from this world in the first place. “Do you know if I can learn magic now?”

Right now, there are…other things to be worried about, such as living conditions. Your mana isn’t exactly ready to use magic yet.

“Not ready?”

To put it bluntly, your mana pool is similar to that of a newborn. I am pleased you have mana at all, given your origins. But, either way, it will take time to develop.

“I see..” Subaru shrugged, “Well, that sucks, another reason why I’m lucky to have you.”

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Subaru felt like covering his ears from the surprise of the shadows spiking up. Seems that compliment rose the Envy side.

“Well then…living conditions it is,” Subaru mumbled to himself.

He remembered back to the previous life, Emilia mentioned about rewarding him by talking to…Roswaal’s(?) manor. Subaru, since he’s not going to kill himself anytime soon(not that he can anymore, even if he truly tried, but it's okay...365 days left until Satella lets him in the Shadow Garden...), decided that he could try to accept the invitation, and depending on the reward, Subaru can have a start.

But then came one problem: he didn’t go with Emilia in this life. Nor had he helped her with Elsa…yet.

‘The Bowel Hunter…’ Subaru remembered. ‘If everything remained the same besides my actions, then Elsa should be there waiting for Emilia to come on by. Emilia would probably find the loot house through the lesser spirits, and by the time she shows up, Elsa could’ve already killed the blonde thief and whoever that old giant was…’

So...how about the invention idea you had?

‘Was that jealousy of Emilia or fear of Elsa?’

I am not afraid of Elsa. I am afraid of what Elsa could do to you, dummy.

I love you. I love you. I’LL TEAR HER APART. I’LL TEAR HER APART.

‘We already know what to expect. We can beat her again.’

Subaru then remembered back with the blonde thief’s corpse, gutted and bloodied like some dead dog in the alleyway. Subaru had seen scenes like those a little too many times for comfort.

“Emilia isn’t you, Satella; she just looks the part. But I would still feel a little sick if I let her die to Elsa…” Subaru spoke out loud. “If I make it there now, then maybe she could be saved. Maybe I can even save that blonde…”

Do you care about her? That blonde...of course.

“I care and love you,” Subaru stated. “But, given that she seems younger than me and on the streets, I believe you can understand why I feel…empathy for her, can’t you?”

I understand. If I were you, time is running thin, so you should make it there quickly. I’ll make sure nobody lays a finger on you.

“You wouldn’t let any woman touch me even if your life depended on it,” Subaru chuckled.

Envy might…But I can control myself.

“Didn’t you scare away a girl my age last year?”

When he was heading to his new home from school(after Satella heavily advised him to come to school ever since she learned about the education system and how Subaru's education was beyond fucked), Subaru was stopping by a convenience store before being confronted by a student he recognized. She had long black hair and green eyes, and she smiled timidly as she approached him. Her name was apparently Ava, and she just simply asked him if she could stop him and have a word. She seemed nice and didn’t look threatening or untrustworthy, so Subaru shrugged and listened…until Ava went pale and Subaru had to pretend he didn't see the dozen shadow hands covering them both and pressing force on Ava as a small threat.

She walked away before she could say what she wanted to say.

She was clearly getting too friendly on purpose; she had an ulterior motive.

“Mmm…okay, I’ll trust your word.”

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Subaru headed down the steps of the street before making it to the main roadway for dragon carriages that still continued to endlessly go down the path. If Subaru’s memory was correct, then he should know roughly where the slums are and how to get there.

Making sure he had his bag and knife(one in his hand and the other tucked away), Subaru then ran quickly in the direction.

The plan was repeated in his mind.

First, he’d make it there before Emilia is killed and hopefully before the blonde is killed too. Second, with Satella and Envy’s help alongside Emilia and Puck’s strength, Elsa could be defeated, and Emilia, though more confused than last time, would hopefully still offer him a request as she would feel in debt. Lastly, he would accept the offer to head to the manor where Mr. Roswaal is, and Subaru could then work further along with that.

Subaru saw the borderline between the slums and the main capital.

What would happen to the blonde thief? Would she get arrested? Probably. Are punishments crueler in this world? Didn’t medieval times have some crazy torture devices? But, given the life of the slums, she didn’t have much choice but to steal…shouldn’t she get a chance before getting punished?

Subaru wondered if he could stretch his reward to get both Subaru and the blonde thief a place to stay…until he realized the awkwardness it would be if this blonde thief was taken in by the request of someone she encountered randomly in an alleyway and ran right past. She would wonder why he cared…which is completely reasonable because Subaru was questioning why HE even cared?

Subaru then ran through the small structures of the slums, nearly bumping into a few people who were running off from somewhere.

Maybe Subaru didn’t. Maybe it was just a projection of what he would’ve wanted to happen for his weaker, younger self(not that he was strong today, not at all, his strength was Satella and Envy). Either way, Subaru would at least hope that she wouldn’t die. He didn’t believe she deserved it.

So, that’s it. That’s the plan thus far. He felt bad for relying on Satella and Envy; he felt bad that he would miss at least some level of starting a relationship with the Satella lookalike instead of just helping out for the reward, where he could have a place to live in at least, but this was at least the most plausible solution based on his knowledge. If this doesn’t work, then back to the drawing board with Satella he goes.

But he did hope this did work, since this isn’t just about the reward, though it might seem like it to–

Subaru felt a chill in the air, and a weird tenseness overcame him.

‘Why did it start getting cold?’

The loot house was nearby, just a couple more blocks and corners down, but had the slums been this cold last time?

Subaru could feel the shadows rise up, with hands emerging from Subaru’s body like swords ready to strike at an invisible threat. Aware that it’s there, but forced to guess when the strike will happen.

At least he had the reassurances that Subaru wasn’t just imagining it. Something was off.

It was right there when Subaru felt small, little flakes hit him.

It was snowing…it truly was snowing.

The snow was falling slowly, which further displayed the strangeness of it all.

‘This wasn’t like last time…’ Subaru noted. ‘What happened? The snow reminds me of Emilia and Puck’s ice attacks…’

Almost on cue, Subaru felt the ground shake below him. He fell over from the imbalance. He looked around frantically, trying to understand what was happening, but…he couldn't do much. In hardly any time, all he saw was the white of snow, like a blizzard that rushed and consumed him.

It was cold. Very cold.

Subaru shivered, trying to regain balance and stand back up.

The shadows were frantic, with Satella…no, Envy, rising up, using her many hands to hold and surround Subaru.

He fell over again, landing on the white, snowy ground, trying to understand what the hell was going on. His eyes darted left and right, up until they focused on a specific image…a figure…a silhouette of an angel.

There, right in front of him, was Envy, a woman with a black dress mixed with dark golden yellow flowers to it alongside purple details, and a black veil that covered the top half of her head. Her head carried beautiful silver hair that loosely swayed with the wind and snow.

Subaru felt like his freezing was meaningless, not when there was such a sight in front of him. That sight of the woman who was not looking his way, instead, she was staring at something in front of her.

He needed to get his composure back.

He needed to understand what was happening.

Forcing himself to look ahead of Envy, his ears were pierced by the voice of something familiar yet distant.

“Sleep alongside my daughter.”

‘Daughter?’

Subaru looked ahead and noticed what Envy was staring at.

There, not so far ahead, was a giant beast. With glowing eyes and a vague shape of a cat, it turned toward Subaru and Envy. Envy, in return, looked back, looked back at Subaru.

The warmth of the stare made Subaru smile through the cold, which was getting to the point that it hurt to exist in.

“I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Those words from Envy kept repeating, all directed at Subaru. Before Subaru could react, the white of everything shifted color to a shadowy black. The ground below him, once covered in snow, was now covered in darkness as Envy rose up from the ground, shadows, hands, and a black blob of pure darkness consumed and covered Subaru like a shield.

This sort of darkness was not like the usual unseen hands. This one was more…manifested, a manifestation that came right along if Envy were to manifest herself into the world. In short, everyone could see these types of shadows whenever Envy appeared. A pile of darkness that consumed everything. A pile of darkness that shielded Subaru from everything else.

It only took a second before the shadows fully engulfed the raven-haired boy, cutting him off from the cold.

It was still chilly, but not cold enough for Subaru to struggle to think straight.

But, now there was unfortunately a new issue that occurred, which made Subaru also struggle to think straight.

On Earth, Envy fully manifested herself about two to three times, all within a very isolated location away from all civilization(it was a pain to find). All other times of manifestation came from Satella, which was far more controlled when it came to potential collateral damage.

One of those times when Envy manifested fully, she consumed Subaru within the darkness, out of an act of obsession and shielding.

Subaru didn’t remember how long he had been in there, but he remembered the feeling, the familiar feeling of the effect Envy’s shadows brought when pushed to this extreme. The feeling of being split into pieces, the feeling of memories, emotions, and body not being one anymore, but drifting apart like atoms from an exploding star.

Then came other memories, memories that weren’t his.

Memories of the consumed. Memories of the absorbed.

He had flashes of locations that weren’t on Earth, but it was like a distant world.

Looking back, perhaps Subaru found one of the reasons why he was a little…crazy for Satella and Envy. Though it was beyond a nightmarish experience, it also felt strangely blissful. The isolation away from the world that didn’t love him felt too great.

Of course, it ended eventually with Satella coming into control and forcing Subaru out of the darkness. Turns out, though he didn’t remember how long, he did know that it was at least a day or two(maybe more).

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Now, here Subaru was again. 

‘This…isn’t…death…’

In that same comforting and isolating darkness, but strangely, with the faintest of sounds, he could hear what was happening from the outside of Envy.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Subaru knew it wasn’t the time to lose his mind. He felt the need to understand what happened in this life. To do that, he needed to keep himself together.

The giant cat-like beast came from nowhere…

No. It came from around the loot house.

It also mentioned having a daughter. To sleep alongside her.

‘Daughter…?’

‘A cat…with a daughter…a cat…with a daughter…’

One thing came to mind. A certain great spirit who referred to Emilia as a daughter came into the picture.

‘Was…that…Puck…?’

It made sense, after all, Puck was a Great Spirit, though Subaru didn’t know the extent of HOW GREAT the title of Great Spirit meant. 

‘Why…in this…form?’

Subaru tried thinking. Even while struggling to remember, Subaru managed to miraculously recall the conversation he had with Puck before encountering Elsa.

The fact that Puck couldn’t live in a world without Emilia.

‘Could…that be…it? Emilia…died…by Elsa…and therefore, he…goes berserk…” Subaru deduced. It was like one of those shows where the villain lost a family member dear to them, and they turn their anger against the whole world. ‘And…now Envy…is protecting me…’

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Memories flooded in from some unseen place. Subaru could feel it. Like last time, he saw memories of those he didn’t know. The ones that were consumed and absorbed.

But the memories weren’t about random places he didn’t know. No, some of them had Envy in them. The shadow figure that loomed above them, not as some angel, like how Subaru saw it…but as a demon.

‘A demon…a demon…a demon…’ Subaru repeated. ‘Envy…Satella…they’re not…’

But, to everyone else, Subaru had to unfortunately understand that Envy was monstrous. If he weren’t so close with her, Subaru would’ve found her monstrous…he found her monstrous once before.

But recalling the memories of the heavy snow from Puck, and the shadows of Envy…Subaru grasped the realization of the nightmare of the world outside the shadows he was in. If you couldn’t get away, you were frozen to death, but if you didn’t freeze, then Envy would consume you, adding another list of memories that Subaru felt as he kept himself in one piece.

It was hell outside.

Two monstrosities that had been summoned from nowhere were now facing each other, and the deaths of every individual who found themselves unfortunate enough to be close to either of them were probably imminent.

Subaru gulped hard…pulling out his knife from his pocket and gripping the handle tightly.

‘I didn’t want this…’ Subaru couldn’t stand the feeling. The sickness of seeing his beloved being turned into a monster. She promised that this wouldn’t happen, she had begun listening to him after all…but what was the point? Subaru was going to die from Puck, so Envy had to step in, which caused the problem to escalate upon their clash.

He looked down at his knife, remembering the words of Satella’s gift.

The gift of Return by Death.

All he had to do was die, right?

Screams could be heard from everywhere; they all echoed within the void that Subaru resided in.

He felt his heart begin to pick up pace as Subaru pointed the knife at himself.

The condition for the vow was that he couldn’t abuse Return by Death…unless for an important reason. This was an important reason, wasn’t it?

There was another voice, one unlike all the others. It was strangely calm, like there was no sense of danger for that person. It came from outside.

“I see…this is—-a—” the sound of a young man could be heard. Then, Subaru felt something unusual, from within the darkness, a bright light, a hostile light that could destroy the darkness that covered and protected Subaru. It gave a new sense of energy to the point that the man drawing the light out made Subaru shake like there was an earthquake occurring. “It seems—-Reid—deemed you both—-Rein—Astrea shall put an end—-”

With the half-heard declaration, Subaru continuously felt the presence of the hostile light that blasted in the darkness. It was nearly incomprehensible what was occurring. But, strong was the only thing he could describe it as. Was there cracking within the shadow borders that surrounded Subaru?

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

There were new memories that slowly seeped into Subaru from those consumed by Envy's shadow. Memories of a certain figure, a red-haired man who was a beacon of hope for the people of Lugunica.

Another monster that was on the battlefield…

A monster representing a beacon of hope…

Normally, in isekai anime, the protagonist would desire to be the hero to save the world from some great monster or demon king. If there was a hero like that…then it would be that man, not Subaru, despite him being the one who isekai’d.

Subaru laughed at the irony of his position.

The Witch of Envy was feared in Lugunica, someone who had to be sealed away. If Subaru was meant to be some protagonist hero, then what the hell happened for him to be on the opposite side?

‘No matter…I don’t need to be the hero…I just want to join Satella….I just want to be with her…’ Subaru laughed again. Maybe it was selfish of him. Maybe it was jealousy. But a twisted, disgustingly selfish part of Subaru was happy that the world hated Satella for Envy’s work, because that way, Subaru’s love was the most precious thing to Satella. That way, Subaru could have Satella all to himself.

‘How envious I am…’ Subaru laughed, feeling the shadow toggle at his sanity.

Satella, the witch who was with him in the darkest and lightest moments of his life.

Another powerful strike of light hit the darkness, cracks formed, and Subaru fell over when he tried getting up. He nearly lost grip of the knife.

Seeing it, he remembered what he planned.

To Return by Death.

Thinking enough was enough, Subaru prepared himself once more to die.

The thought was more absurd than ever, but nevertheless, Subaru was ready.

Closing his eyes, Subaru drove the blade into his heart, digging in and piercing through the skin and tracksuit.

He coughed up blood out of his mouth, collapsing fully on the ground. The sound of a gasp echoed in his ears. His last sight was a silver-haired woman he adored, her veil falling over to reveal her purplish eyes looking at him in grief, tears flowing past her cheeks.

Subaru wanted to wipe those tears away; he wanted to comfort her…but he felt his body weaken by the second.

With the last ounce of strength, he mumbled,

“I’ll…see…you soon…” Subaru coughed. “I….love…you…”

Seeing another strike of the hostile light finally reach them both, Envy knelt down at Subaru’s side.

Subaru Natsuki died.

365 days until the Special Day.

Subaru let out a gasp, processing his new yet old surroundings. He clenched his chest where his heart would be tightly, feeling the knife gone and blood no longer dripping from it. Strangely, he still felt the tightening, burning pain that felt like it both didn’t exist, yet was very real.

Even under shade, the daylight stung Subaru’s eyes a bit, forcing him to blink and readjust.

‘Did I…Did I make it back?’ Subaru looked around. Instead of the darkness that surrounded him, there was now the familiar alleyway where soon the three thugs would show up.

‘S-Satella?’

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I’m here. It worked. My gift had worked.

Subaru sighed in relief.

“Phew…glad that shitshow is over…” Subaru commented. He slowly raised his hand once more to his chest, then to his neck. He resisted the urge to tense up.

‘Okay…okay…if I understand this correctly, Emilia must’ve died before I reached her, and Puck went berserk. Then Envy showed up, and then there was this…third contender in the battlefield…’ Subaru recalled the hostile light, the voice of a beacon of hope with red hair, by some of the memories that accidentally blended with Subaru’s mind. It was harder to remember; it was just too scattered and out of place, like dreams you can barely recollect.

I didn’t like seeing you do that…

‘Me killing myself again?’ Subaru guessed in his head.

“One of the conditions you asked for was that these lives…these loops could be restarted if it was important enough. The entire slums are going to shit, and Envy coming out seemed important…I figured they were important, right, Ella?”

I suppose so…

“See?” Subaru shrugged. “Got to say…it’s strange to now say that I offed myself twice already successfully…”

…

“Sorry…not a great topic of discussion with you, considering… never mind,” Subaru brushed it off. He looked ahead toward the darkness of the alley, where soon, three silhouettes made their presence known with their steps being heard.

“Look at what we got here?” the voice of the lanky thug announced. “Some crazy guy blabberin’ useless crap! Ya’ must be lost, right?”

Subaru’s mouth shut immediately, choosing not to respond.

He got up, knife ready as usual, contemplating what he should do this time.

Given what occurred in the last loop, Subaru knew that if he wanted to go with this idea of Roswaal’s manor, he needed to get there before Emilia arrived, let alone died.

Could he just go with Emilia and repeat everything?

But what if Subaru messes up? Wouldn’t it be suspicious if he already knew about where to go, but pretended he didn’t? Didn’t Puck have a way to scan him for being a threat? What if he acts too weirdly knowledgeable, so that this turns on him?

Speaking of that floating cat…

Subaru remembered the giant beast that had to be Puck.

Screw that, he’d prefer not having a chance to invoke his wrath. If Subaru did, then Envy comes out, and that might as well be considered game over unless Envy unmanifests herself quickly before anyone else notices the shadow woman…which was in his dreams…So, he’ll do this a different way.

Subaru is just going to get to the slums now and chill out near the loothouse. He’ll just pretend to be a random, helpful upstanding citizen who was just walking by. If he’s lucky, then he could at least get the blonde thief safe from death once Elsa soon arrives, which will have Emilia arrive later, and if Elsa isn’t dead or defeated, Emilia and Puck would help. It is the insignia they’re looking for, and based on what Subaru knew of Emilia, she seemed like the good-moraled type who is willing to help others, suspicious or not.

‘Sounds like a plan for living conditions, right, Satella?’

It is a plan…though still dangerous for you. I would prefer you not needing to use Return by Death again like that.

‘I have you for protection…just, Envy, please cool it. I’ll give you a free pass on the last loop since there was not much choice in protecting me besides manifestation beyond unseen hands.’

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

Subaru took that as an understanding.

It felt nice pleasing Satella, despite the shortcomings. Subaru could, for now, prioritize following along with Satella’s request, and in return, Satella could follow along with Subaru’s choice at the end.

But for that to happen…

Subaru looked at the three thugs who were stepping out from the shadows of the alleyway, wearing grins that stared at their perfect weak victim, who should be getting ready for a mugging.

“Cough up whatever—”

Subaru decided to grab his things and run away.

There was a time crunch, and no matter what, he needed to get to the slums first.

“HEY!” the thugs all shouted and yelled, tried grabbing him before getting distracted by the voice of the blonde ghost, alerting her presence with,

“Outta’ my way!”

Subaru didn’t hear any more than that. He just ran.

Since he had gone to the slums twice already, Subaru was now more familiar with the pathway to get there. He ran past the merchant selling “appas” and down the side of the roadway of dragon carriages; he almost ran straight through in the last loop. Instead of climbing up higher in the capital steps for the vantage point like in the first loop, he continued down the pathway toward the slums.

Observing around, Subaru could’ve sworn he caught a glimpse of the blonde thief on the rooftops before hopping downward, but he didn’t pay any mind. He might be meeting with her again, even if she didn’t even know him(not that he knew her anyway). What would Subaru even say?

Nothing was the usual response.

But, especially in this loop…did the blonde thief even meet him?

‘It doesn’t matter,’ Subaru chawked it all up to that. ‘You don’t have to know someone to help them, right? Besides, I want to help because she doesn’t deserve to die, that’s it…that’s all…’

“Excuse me, sir,” a faintly familiar voice called out to Subaru.

He hardly recognized the voice, yet why was it so familiar?

But that wasn’t the true question he wanted to ask.

No, the true question was, why did the shadows retreat? Like they were hiding from something…or someone?

Subaru turned around in the direction, stopping his paced run he was doing while heading to the slums.

There stood a little ahead of Subaru, a handsome man with bright red hair and blue eyes that resembled blue embers. He wore a white, purple-buttoned outfit that displayed what seemed like wealth and high position. To his hip, there was a large gold and black hilt of a sword, with sharp triangular angles that shone and reflected off the sun.

By sight alone, Subaru felt a slight urge to tighten the grip around his knife, while surprisingly, the swordsman stood calmly, yet Subaru could see the man’s right hand jerking a little, as if they were contemplating reaching for the hilt of the large sword.

Even more surprisingly, the red-haired man smiled at Subaru.

“I don’t believe I’ve seen you around here before?”

Fun Fact of the Chapter: Subaru's school life is absolutely cooked. After [What Happened], Subaru, from the age of nine, missed straight years of school after not being caught or taken in by anyone. Once he was taken in into a new home, Subaru had to go back to fix up his education, which he barely cared about since by then, Satella was his priority number one, and the only reason why he began going back was that Satella found it would be better for Subaru to at least catch up for some opportunity in life which Subaru agreed with. Due to his massive school inconsistencies and absences, Lifeline IF Subaru, in a way, could be considered less educated than most other Subarus. However, he does possess more street smarts and a willingness to hurt someone at the beginning of being transported into another world.