Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Reki!” Langa exclaimed, his eyes lighting up at the sight of his best friend, finally in front of him again after being ignored for so long. “Welcome back.”

Reki hesitated, seeming like he didn’t want to respond.
“What do you want, Langa?” he finally replied.

Ignoring the obvious lack of Reki’s usual enthusiasm, Langa told him, “Adam’s hosting a tournament.” Yet, instead of the excitement he expected, Reki’s response was harsh.

“So what?”

Langa’s breath hitched. Reki’s never been so blunt with him before, what was his problem?
A flicker of emotion washed over Reki’s face. Was he… angry? Or scared?

“What about the promise you made?”
“Oh, that.”
“You swore you wouldn’t go up against Adam again.”

Langa could feel the anger beginning to rise within Reki. It was almost like it was radiating off of him. He was surprised he held their promise in such high regard. Hadn’t Langa proven by now that he was more than capable of keeping himself safe? Even against Adam? Frustration started to bubble up in his own chest. He had no intention of changing his mind, yet he wanted to keep the peace.

“I know, and I’m sorry— “

“Don’t say that!” Langa had finally pushed Reki’s anger over the edge, he was never really good at keeping the peace. “You’re apologising because you’ve already decided to break your promise. Do you know how much I trusted you?”

The world went quiet. Langa stood like a deer in headlights, staring at the Reki he didn’t recognise. The Reki whose voice was cracking and who would usually find any opportunity to laugh but now had his face scrunched up, like he was on the verge of tears. They never fought like this. Usually, it was small misunderstandings that Reki would quickly laugh off. But this time—this time was different. He frantically searched his mind for something, anything to say, to make it right, to resolve his dilemma and keep them both happy. But it all amounted to nothing as Reki began to walk off, mumbling, “Forget it.”

“Reki, listen! Come on, it’s just a race,”
Langa tried to grab Reki’s arm, a desperate attempt at getting him to stay, but as Reki turned around he tore away from his grip.
“Against a monster!”

A monster? Sure, Adam’s methods were unconventional and fairly violent but branding him as a monster is a bit too harsh, is it not? He is incredible at what he does, always leaving Langa in awe, motivating him to work harder than ever before. No, this isn’t a race against a monster. It’s, “Against an amazing skater.”
“I know you understand what that’s like, competing against someone so good is exhilarating.”

Reki’s demeanour changed drastically, a smile forming on his face, giving Langa a brief spark of hope.
“You’re excited? Well I—“
That spark was quickly snuffed out as sadness flashed upon Reki’s face.

“I don’t get excited.”

Reki was the one who taught Langa that skating was fun. How could he suddenly turn around and say he didn’t find it exciting now? Langa didn’t know what to believe anymore.

“I gotta say, you’re freaking me out. I don’t see how you consider this fun. I don’t get you at all!”

No, no, he’s got this all wrong. Reki is the only person who gets Langa. Even through all his grief and struggles moving to a new country, Reki has always been there for him, understanding him, teaching him, leading him through the fog when he was lost and wrapped up in his own thoughts. Why couldn’t Reki see this?

“You and Adam are nothing like me. Not a single bit. Do what you want, I don’t care. Psycho geniuses have to stick together, I guess. Have fun with that. Not like I can keep up.”

Reki had never called Langa names like that. Is that really how he views him now? Langa couldn’t even consider that he would rank higher than Reki, his talent and passion were both so immense—he just wasn’t confident. However, that doesn’t give him the right to call Langa names! His chest started to burn with irritation, this isn’t the Reki he knew, and maybe the Langa Reki knows isn’t truly him either. That thought added fuel to the fire, weren’t they close enough now that they basically understood every aspect of each other? Or was it all just a facade?

“I thought you were different. Such a stupid mistake.”

Those words hit Langa like a dagger through the heart. Maybe Reki really didn’t know Langa at all. He thought they knew and trusted each other but perhaps none of it was true, and Langa was too naive to see the reality of it.

He suddenly realised he’d been standing there in silence, shocked, he begged himself to say something but all he could get out was a helpless, “Reki..”

The following night, Langa made his way to S in as much haste as he could muster—he was itching to skate, to let out the frustration and adrenaline that had been building up inside him for the last 24 hours.

No matter how many times he replayed the previous night in his mind, Langa couldn’t understand why Reki reacted the way he did. They hadn’t spoken since, and his very bones itched at the uncertainty of their future.

Clouded by his racing thoughts, Langa beelined for the course, he threw his skateboard down and darted along the track. He kept pushing himself—faster, faster. Adrenaline rose within him, more vicious then ever. It was a different feeling than usual, but not one that was unwelcome; this time it was charged with frustration and anger, like a burning fire through his veins.
It was addicting.

As Langa skidded to a halt at the end of the abandoned mine for a third time, he was about to make his way back to the start of the course again—still chasing that feeling of intense adrenaline—before he was stopped by a gentle touch on his shoulder.

“Reki?”

Langa’s head turned as quickly as possible, just to be met with Adam’s unsettling gaze.

“Ah yes. Where is your little lapdog, darling Langa?”
“Who?”
“Don’t play dumb with me. You know, that redhead who’s always clinging onto you.”

Adam’s tone was almost disapproving, taking Langa aback slightly. Why did he want to know about Reki anyway? Langa couldn’t care less about where he was right now. Reki was clearly under the impression that they’re not a good match anymore.

“We’re not exactly speaking right now, it’s my fault. Why do you care?”
“I need to make sure my little Langa is okay!”

He reeled back slightly, he didn’t always like the way Adam spoke to him, but there was still something entrancing about the way he always had something to offer.

“So, is that what you require? A mechanism to suspend the guilt?”

Adam always seemed to know everything, it was strange but intriguing to Langa. It seemed as if he had cameras watching everyone at all times.

“Well…” Langa hesitated, not sure if he wanted to ‘suspend’ the guilt or rid of it completely. Yet, he was getting desperate to just change his situation in any way possible, so he agreed.

“Oh, sweet Langa, come close, I’ll tell you a little secret.”

Langa’s heart was racing. Whether it was out of fear or anticipation, he couldn’t tell, but despite everything within him telling him to not listen to Adam, he leaned in closer.

“I heard the truth was built to bend.”
“What does that mean?” Langa never was good at understanding metaphors, but he was desperate for an answer, he didn’t care if he looked stupid.

“Become a little liar, Langa. I know you have it in you. Push yourself to the top, there’s no consequences when you’re on top of the food chain!”

A liar? That was against everything Langa had known, but perhaps a few white lies wouldn’t hurt. There’s no ill intent; it’s actually quite the opposite. He could tell a few lies to simply make everyone happy, especially Reki.

He needed his best friend back.

Chapter Text

A week later, their situation had slightly improved. In school, they’d still talk to each other but there was a constant awkwardness lingering between the two of them, as if Reki still didn’t actually want to be around Langa. He had also noticed that Reki still hadn’t shown up to S.

This sparked curiosity within Langa, and after a fair amount of prying, he managed to find out that Reki had given in his badge and had no intention of returning any time soon. Ordinarily, he would have tried to convince Reki to come back to S, but Adam’s words were still playing on his mind. What if he could use this to his advantage? He could keep Reki away from S, tell him he’s not going to race Adam—which would make him happy—and then go to race Adam anyway, and there would be no reason for Reki to find out. To Langa, that sounded like a win-win situation for everyone.

And so, that night Langa messaged Reki, asking if he would meet with him at the skate park. Much to his relief, he agreed.

It didn’t take long until the two of them were facing each other, sat on the half pipe. Reki looked rather disheveled, he wasn’t wearing his headband, so his hair was even more of a mess than usual, and he had a tired, anxious look on his face, with a hint of sadness in his eyes. The sight of him suddenly caused a wave of guilt to wash over Langa, and he began to second guess his plan. Could he really do this to Reki? He’d always been taught that lying was wrong in any situation, but still—as long as he was careful about it, this would do both of them some good, wouldn’t it?

He never knew unless he tried.

“Reki, look. I’ve done some… reflection after our argument, and I realised I should’ve taken your feelings about our promise into deeper consideration. So, I’ve decided I’m not going to race against Adam, and I won’t go to S until the tournament is over.”

Langa knew that since Reki had started taking him to S, he rarely went by himself anymore, which meant that if he was under the impression that Langa wasn’t going to be there for the next week, he’d have no reason to retrieve his badge and turn up to S until Langa ‘went back’ too.

Reki’s eyes lit up with hope and regained that familiar glimmer that had been absent for the past week. This pleased Langa, he was happy that he was able to make Reki himself again, even if he himself wasn’t being truly authentic. However, in the back of his mind, his consciousness burned, warning him that what he was doing is wrong, as his own fib popped and fizzed while it replayed in his mind.

“Wait, for real? You mean it?” And just like that, Reki was back to his old self again, his leg bouncing in place excitedly, and his signature grin forming across his face. “Man, you’re the best! That’s why you’re my best friend.”

Reki was so happy that it made Langa feel nauseous. His stomach lurched and his throat closed up, causing his train of thought to become less coherent. Langa wanted to skate against Adam so badly, but hearing him say that he was going to take their promise more seriously had snapped Reki right back into his incredibly excited and happy former self. Did Langa really have the resolve to keep lying to him, even when Reki was so pleased with such a small gesture?
He decided he couldn’t think about this right now, so all he could do in return was give Reki a soft smile and nod his head.

Monday: The Qualifiers

The following Monday, Langa bathed in the early sun rays filtering through the curtains as he laid on top of his bed, slightly overwhelmed. So many feelings were bubbling up inside him, it was almost suffocating. He was burning with excitement and anticipation ahead of the tournament starting today. Yet, despite that, there was a constant, faint sense of dread and anxiety lingering over him.

Countless unanswered questions filled his mind. What if Reki found out? What if it made him hate Langa even more? What if he’ll be unable to salvage their friendship once more?

Langa flipped himself over and buried his face in his pillow, groaning. ‘What if’s would be the death of him, he decided. However, noticing the time, he forced down those feelings and made his way out of his bedroom.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” Nanako asked cautiously. She was sitting at the dinner table, looking over her reading glasses at Langa with her magazine in hand. He was mildly taken aback by his mother’s question, were his doubts showing on his face that easily?

His plan would never work if he didn’t sort that out.

“Yes mom, I’m fine. Just tired.”
A typical excuse, sure, but Nanako was never one to push a topic too much, especially if Langa was obviously trying to avoid it. It’s not like she had any idea what Langa could possibly be worried about anyway. Nanako raised an eyebrow at Langa, which he pointedly ignored as he turned and left, making his way to meet with Reki.

As he approached their usual meet up spot by the streetlamp, Langa noticed Reki was already there. That was unusual, normally he was the one waiting for Reki to arrive, due to his tendency to oversleep. As he spotted Langa, a large grin appeared on his face—it looked like he was practically buzzing with excitement. Reki stretched out a hand, inviting him into their usual dap: a simple high five and fist bump.

“We have a bit of time before school starts, do you want to skate about for a bit?”

Langa nodded at Reki with a soft smile on his face, he felt bittersweet—everything had seemed to have gone back to normal, yet he couldn’t help but focus on the lingering guilt that was slowly starting to eat him alive and seemingly got worse the happier Reki was around him. He shook himself, bringing him back to the moment in front of him. He realised he should appreciate the moments he had with Reki more, in case there ever came a time where they stopped talking again, so he skated off, turning his head and giggling back at Reki as he gained an advantage on his best friend.

The start of the school day dragged, as it always did. But they had finally made it to break. Langa slouched against the wall, and Reki sat down opposite, jumping into conversation about the first topic that manifests in his mind. Despite his nerves, being around Reki had always made him feel a bit better about the day. Yet, it was a strange feeling—being around Reki made him nervous because what if he started to catch on to his lie? But Reki himself was still able to make him feel simultaneously less anxious, with his warm smile and constant stream of thoughts spilling out onto Langa.

Suddenly Reki perked up even more, like he had just remembered something important.
“Langa! I forgot to ask! Can you come over to mine tomorrow? I have some new skating magazines I want to look through with you, and mom is taking the twins out for the evening so it should be peaceful—apart from Koyomi of course but she shouldn’t bother us too much.”

Langa’s breath hitched in his throat. Arranging plans with Reki was so risky, especially since he didn’t know who was beefing tomorrow. But he couldn’t say no to Reki’s wide, eager eyes, so he agreed. Worst case scenario, he would have to come up with another lie.

Tonight was the qualifiers, and Langa had never felt so simultaneously apprehensive and excited about an event in his life. Really, the feeling of apprehension on its own was new to Langa, everything he did was usually with no second thought and a fiery determination, but now, guilt and fear had been eating him alive; leaving him second guessing his decisions for the first time.

He sighed to himself, turning his attention to the bustling, excited crowd around him. Apparently, it had been a long time since an event so large had taken place at ‘S’, so tonight was the busiest Langa had ever seen it. Upon one of the cliffsides was an excessively large screen depicting the tournament bracket for tonight. He was up against Joe and another group of skaters who seemed to all be associated with each other. All he had to do was place in the top two of his race and then he would qualify for the semi-finals—that was easy enough.

“Langa!” Miya called out, spotting how Langa was just standing there, lost in his own world. “I thought Reki would be with you but… I guess he decided not to enter the race after all.” He sounded disappointed, and slightly annoyed. Langa could tell how much Reki actually meant to Miya, how could he not? Reki had such an impact on everyone around him.

“That’s right.”
“What happened?”

Langa wasn’t sure how to respond to that, all he could let out was a hesitant “Uhh” before Shadow butted in, laughing, “I bet he’s just being a wiener about Adam!”

He pondered for a second. If Shadow had said that a week and a half ago, he wouldn’t be wrong. But now, he’s just simply under the impression Langa isn’t competing either. Still, he couldn’t confess his lie to Miya and Shadow, he knew they would give him shit for it.

“Yeah. Pretty much.”

Langa didn’t want to elaborate any further, so he just settled with that and left, desperate to get away from the feeling his lies were conjuring up throughout his whole being.

Adam and Miya’s group went first. Miya was obviously bitter and didn’t want to entertain Adam, however he still managed to say something or other that was weird and grossed Miya out. Langa thought that it was kind of admirable how Miya was able to stand up for himself and get his opinions across at such a young age.

As expected, both Adam and Miya were the top two of their group, becoming the first two to qualify for the semi-finals. It was a fairly boring race; Adam was trying to show off as per usual and Miya was able to get far ahead of the rest of the group, yet still behind Adam, leaving no chance for speculation on who would win.

Now it was Langa’s turn. He knew that himself and Joe were the ones pretty much guaranteed to win this race—Joe was literally one of the founders of S and Langa felt he was very capable when it came to skating. Part of him didn’t even want to entertain this race.

Regardless, he moved on and prepared himself at the start line, taking a steadying breath, focusing wholly on the track in front of him.

The moment they were signalled to start, Joe and Langa had quickly created a distance between themselves and the rest of the group. Deciding not to push himself too hard, Langa slowed down slightly, just enough to stay in front of the group behind him.

However, Langa must’ve drifted off into his own world, slowing down too much, because he soon after found himself surrounded by the group clad in black. Shit. They were trying to sabotage him. Anger started to well up inside him. He didn’t really want to deal with such petty people right now, so he resorted to jumping over the bat that was flying towards his legs. He was able to get enough air to land himself back in front of the group, allowing him to grab at the chance to push himself further, catching up with Joe.

“You alright, kid?”

“Yeah.” Langa grumbled.

Joe gave him a sympathetic look, almost like he could already tell something was wrong. As a result, Langa tried to change his facial expression to one that expressed focus instead of everything that was going on in his mind right now, hoping that he hadn’t made himself look too weird. Sometimes Joe’s father-like instincts were a pain for Langa, especially when he was trying to hide something like this.

Regardless of the momentary disruption, Langa and Joe crossed the finish line first, just as expected.

The rest of the races played out just as everyone anticipated; the semi-finalists being Adam, Miya, Joe, Langa, Cherry, Shadow, Harry, and Snake.

Snake caught Langa’s attention—he stood out like sore thumb. No one knew who he was, and he was simply dressed as one of the security guards. But he was so good. Good enough that it seemed to really piss off Adam, which gave Langa a slight feeling of satisfaction. According to Cherry, Snake was able to beat Adam’s time by 2 seconds, setting a new record.

Langa spent his whole ride home thinking about Snake, the way he skated was just as intimidating yet entrancing as Adam. How could they be so similar? How could he beat Adam? No one has ever done that before. Were they related in any way?

Langa desperately wanted to race against Snake too now.

As Langa laid down on his bed, he checked his phone, just to be met with eight messages from Reki. Shit.

Reki: Langa!! Can I ask for your opinion on somethingggg >:)
Reki: It’ll be quick I promise!! :p

Reki: Langa?? Where are you???
Reki: There’s no way you’re asleep already you always stay up so late
Reki: I mean if you’re just busy then that’s fine but like pls respond as soon as you can

Reki: Dude seriously are you alright?
Reki: Pls reply im starting to feel like a needy boyfriend

Reki: Damn okay, goodnight then.

How was he meant to reply to this?! And what did he mean by ‘needy boyfriend’? Langa pushed down the even more complex feelings he had towards Reki that were threatening to bubble up and decided to come up with another lie, that will hopefully comfort Reki and make him believe that Langa wasn’t ignoring him.

Langa: Crap, I’m so sorry
Langa: I took a nap bc school has really been taking it out of me recently, but it lasted longer than I wanted it to
Langa: What did you need to ask me?

In a way, he was relieved that he only had to have this conversation over text. This was much easier than lying through his teeth straight to Reki’s face. At least he didn’t have to worry what facial expression to make or his tone of voice so that he didn’t give himself away.
He sighed—lying is so much more exhausting than he thought it would be.

Tuesday: Shadow v Harry

Much to Langa’s relief, Adam announced today’s beef the previous night. Deciding that a beef between Shadow and Harry had an obvious outcome, he was able to meet up with Reki happily and without the fear of missing out from S.

Reki: are you on your way??
Langa: Yes, I just left
Langa: I should be there in 5
Reki: okay!! :D

Langa smiled down at his phone as he skated along the road, he loved the way Reki texted him, the little emoticons he always used were so endearing.

He never responded to Langa’s late message from the night before, so he assumed it wasn’t important, and anyway, he seems to have forgotten about it. Langa hoped with everything he had that Reki was still okay with him.

As he skated closer to his house, he noticed Reki was already standing outside the front door, softly lit by the sunset behind him. When he spotted him, he gave Langa an enthusiastic wave with a grin on his face that almost reached his ears. Langa waved back, speeding up slightly to get to Reki sooner.

“Hey man! Come in, come in!” He ushered Langa through the door, taking him to his bedroom. It had been a while since they’d hung out like this, and Reki seemed exceptionally happy that they were together again. It sort of stung, knowing that he made Reki so obliviously happy while being a dirty liar, especially since he had never noticed before how enthusiastic Reki was to be around him.

Just as the two of them sat on the floor, Koyomi appeared in the doorway.

“Langa! You’re back!”

He smiled at the girl.
“Yeah, been a while I guess.”
He immediately cringed at his own words, he felt so awkward, he wasn’t sure what to say or if that was appropriate at all.

“Anyway! Mom bought me a new nail varnish kit, and I really want to try it out. Pretty please can I try it on you guys?”

Koyomi tried putting on her best pleading face, just to earn a sigh from Reki.

“Koyomi, please—”
“I don’t mind.” Langa quickly interrupted.

He was starting to feel too jittery being alone with Reki in his room once again, so he felt doing something with Koyomi there would make him feel a bit better. She let out a little “Yay!” and hurried off to her bedroom to grab the nail varnish.

“Really, Langa?” His heart skipped a beat, Reki sounded annoyed. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yeah, why not, it might be fun.” He racked his brain to come up with something that might make the idea more appealing to the other. “We can do matching colours if you want?”

Reki let out a more content sigh, smiling slightly, “Okay then, it’ll be cute!”

Koyomi appeared again not soon after. A small white box, hand-decorated with stars in various colours, sat in her hands.

“Pick a colour, boys!” She said in an eager, slightly teasing tone while opening the box for them to look inside.

“You can pick, Langa,” Reki said, grinning at him.

Langa hummed, thinking carefully. He knew Reki would be happy with anything he picked, but in a way this felt important to him, it had to be perfect.

“How about…” He picked up three small bottles from the box. “We have all black but on your ring fingers you have blue varnish and on my ring fingers I have red? Like our hair but opposite.”

Koyomi gave Reki a look, which caused him to flush. Had he said something wrong? He looked between the two siblings, trying to give some indication that he needed an answer.

They both ignored Langa’s confusion, Reki just looked down at the bottles in Langa’s hands as his knee started to bounce up and down.

“That should look cool! Did you get that koyomi?”
“Yep! Reki, you’re first since I’m more likely to mess up on the first person and I don’t care if you look bad.”

Reki sighed bitterly at his sister’s last comment, yet he put out a hand as she sat down and took the bottles out of Langa’s hand.

The three of them spent the next hour chatting and laughing, and Langa relaxed a little. In truth, he really had missed this—being so happy with Reki, his best friend.

Even after they finished their nails and Koyomi had left, the two of them stayed there for hours, just talking and enjoying each other’s company until Langa fell asleep, the skating magazines completely forgotten—the whole reason he was there in the first place.

Chapter Text

Wednesday: Langa v Joe

Glued shut by sleep, Langa pried his eyes open, feeling disoriented and not quite sure where he was. He could feel the presence of someone else by his side—he slowly turned himself around, just to be met face to face with Reki. Immediately, his face burnt up and a gasp escaped his throat, disturbing the other boy enough for him to open his eyes too.

“G’morning Langa,” Reki murmured with a gentle smile on his face.

“Morning, Reki,” he replied, trying desperately to avoid the realisation of how pretty he found his best friend right now, sprawled out next to him, hair messy and illuminated softly by the morning sun. “It’s pretty late, we should probably get up and ready for school.”

Reki groaned, pushing his head further into the pillow and clearly not happy with Langa’s suggestion.
“Fuck school, can’t we just ditch and spend the day together?”

The ever-prominent flush on Langa’s face deepened. Ever since they made up, Reki was starting to seem clingier than ever. Normally, he would love this and jump at the chance to spend every waking minute with his best friend, but doing so would make his job of keeping Reki happy while going to S secretly significantly harder. He began to entertain the idea, but he couldn’t risk being unable to explain the need for a sudden disappearance when S started tonight, especially as he was racing today.

The warm feeling of affection for Reki was quickly replaced by cold, aching guilt. Langa was slowly starting to learn that lying was not as easy as he thought, he didn’t have the resolve Adam was so convinced he had. Still, he had to get out of spending the whole day with Reki somehow, even if it hurt to do so.

“We’re both basically failing, that’s the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

“Exactly! We’re both failing, so what’s the point of going to school?” Reki was getting persistent, but Langa’s stubbornness was not easily overcome.

“I don’t know, Reki. I really don’t want to be held back a year and my mom will kill me if she found out I ditched a whole day. We should go.”

Reki let out a defeated sigh. “Fine,” He got up and started to make his way out of the bedroom. Although not before looking back at Langa over his shoulder, saying, “You’re spending the whole day with me on Friday though!”

He smiled back, “Fine by me,” he said, as Reki walked out to get himself ready for school, closing the door behind him and leaving Langa to himself and his thoughts once again.

Immediately standing up from the bed, he hurried to get himself dressed, grabbing yesterday’s uniform from the floor. Frantically, he was trying to make sure he was distracted from the many emotions that were threatening to bubble up.

Soon after, he left the room and made his way to the kitchen, where he spotted Reki with a piece of toast in his mouth and a twin in either arm. Langa giggled at the sight, just to receive a glare as Reki noticed. He tried to say something through the bread, but Langa just gave a blank stare, not understanding a word of it. Reki rolled his eyes, putting down the twins and finishing off his breakfast as fast as possible.

“You ready to go?”

Langa nodded, cuing them to set off, skating down the street leisurely and not exactly thrilled to be going to school.

The school day passed uneventfully and Reki hadn’t pestered Langa about going over to his again, so he was free to go to S peacefully.

Tonight, he was up against Joe, who he knew was also extremely motivated to skate against Adam. Regardless, Langa was equally motivated—he needed to race both Snake and Adam, beefing against such talented skaters gave him a high that was unmatched, he was desperate to feel it again.

Now, Langa stood at the top of Crazy Rock, next to Joe and surrounded by many excited spectators. He’d never raced against Joe in anything so important before, it made him wonder how much harder he was going to be on him this time.

“In case there is any doubt in your mind,” Joe began suddenly, “skaters are idiots. It’s not like there’s a cash prize, or like we’ll be elevated to some royal throne by winning these things, and one slip and we’ve got nightmare injuries. But we just can’t stay away. You gotta be pretty stupid to get wrapped up in this.”

“Sounds like you love it.”

“Yeah! Which is what makes me such an idiot,” Joe turned and grinned at Langa—he really admired the passion Joe held for skating. “This is nothing but a competition to crown the biggest moron.”

Langa pondered for a moment: skating had such a poor reputation, but he couldn’t stay away despite all the risks—the traditional ones and the extra ones he’s creating for himself through his lies.
“Wow, so I guess I’m an idiot too.”

Joe had always been good at recognising how Langa truly felt, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He could see how much he longed to skate, to bask in the adrenaline. He could see how much he loved Reki, and how scared he was to lose him. He could see right through all his facades, despite knowing nothing of his bold-faced lies.

“Maybe the biggest one of all.” He paused for a second, causing Langa to question if Joe could tell Langa had done something wrong. “Our stupid love of skateboarding colours our entire world. It fuels our friendships, emotions, problems, everything.”

Langa couldn’t bring himself to say anything in return, all he could think of was whether Joe was projecting his own feelings or trying to hint something at him.

“Anyway, I’ve got someone I need to punch, so maybe he’ll wake up. Which means… I gotta win this race.”

Langa turned his head and focused in on the beginning of the course in front of him, his heart racing as the countdown commenced. Each second felt like an eternity, almost like if they didn’t start sooner, he’d set off too early and be bound to trip. The moment the horn blared, and the flag was waved, both skaters were gone in an instant, hot on each other’s heels.

Approaching a corner, Langa was starting to feel he was gaining the advantage, before in the blink of an eye, Joe was ahead again, crouched down on his board with both hands holding the front. For a brief moment, he feared for Joe—he was heading for the corner faster than even Langa would consider. Regardless, his determination almost radiated off of him as he headed up a ramp, rotating in the air and kicking off from a rock near by. His raw leg strength was so powerful that he left a foot shaped imprint on the rock, leaving Langa completely in awe.

Langa’s confidence was beginning to waver. He could feel the fiery passion lacking in his chest, leaving no reason for him to close the growing gap between himself and Joe. Ignoring all the groans and comments from agitated spectators, he straightened his posture as he stood on his board, yet still stared at the ground cruising beneath him, no longer trying to compete.

He couldn’t even see Joe anymore. Why was he even doing this? Slowly, Langa was slipping back into the achingly familiar feeling of numbness that had been haunting him ever since his father died. This was such an intense beef, why didn’t he want to be there?

For a fleeting moment, Langa thought he saw Snake out of the corner of his eye, mistaking a security guard for him. He was reminded of how badly he wanted to skate against the best of the best, and suddenly, determination and adrenaline flared up in his veins: hot and powerful.

This gave Langa enough of a boost to push himself exceedingly hard, jumping off the edge of the cliff and catching up to Joe as quickly as possible. Startling the man, Langa used this to his advantage to close the gap between them, but not quite making it before Joe went off course. He crashed through a weak spot in the wall and created his own shorter route with his brute strength, forcing Langa to swerve and take the intended route, still behind.

With his immaculate leg strength, Joe was able to push a steel beam out of his way, causing it to swing largely. An idea sparked in Langa’s mind, and so he jumped down onto the metal below, with the steel beam swinging back directly towards him. With great confidence, he dodged the beam, ending up back in front of it. However, it continued swinging back towards him again, so, he jumped in the air and landed on the side of the beam, allowing it to propel him forwards, ripping off Joe’s power move completely as it pushed him to gain the advantage.

As Langa landed on the floor once again, he felt a devastating crack form in the back of his board. Willing for it to last him the final few metres, he pushed himself as hard as humanly possible, crossing the line just before Joe and then tumbling to the floor as his board snapped beneath his feet.

Not even bothering to acknowledge his win, Langa crouched down in front of his broken board, hands hovering out before him, like he was longing to touch it yet simultaneously too scared to, not wanting to accept it as reality. Joe approached behind him. He knew he was being spoken to but the guilt and upset had become too overwhelming, crowding his senses to the point where he could only look at the splintered wood lying there.

“What do I do now?” He didn’t realise he had spoken out loud before Joe was now standing at his side, looking down at the board with him.

“Oh man, hard luck. They’re not meant to last forever, it happens.”

“Can I fix it?” He knew it was a pointless question, but he was desperate for any spark of hope.

“Nah dude, just buy one.”

Langa hung his head, “I don’t think any other will work.”

“I get it, Reki made that. Then I say, make him fix it for you.”

He grimaced, all of the fears he had created for himself over the past few days began to bubble up and Langa had no chance of pushing them back down, no matter how hard he tried to restrain the tears as he stared at the floor.

“It’s not that easy anymore.” He whispered, his voice dripping with regret. “It’s not that easy anymore and it’s all my fault.”

“Hey, kid.” Joe gently grabbed Langa’s arm, encouraging him to stand, “Come with me, I feel like there’s something you need to talk about.”

Reluctantly, Langa nodded and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet, picking up the broken board as he stood and held it close to his chest. Trailing behind Joe, Langa was suddenly struck with the overwhelming urge to run. He didn’t know where to or what he’d be running from, but he was moments away from turning and leaving without looking back. However, before he had the chance, Joe stopped in his tracks to turn and look at him. They had already found their way to a quiet, secluded area of Crazy Rock and Joe’s expectant gaze was piercing into him. Langa’s throat closed up as he slid down the nearest wall to sit on the floor, knees pulled up to his chest and his face in his hands.

“Joe—” a shaky breath interrupted his sentence, and an immense pressure was building in his eyes, threatening to burst at any moment. Despite that, Langa pushed on; Joe already knew something was wrong, there was no point in trying to hide it now. “I don’t know what to do, I’ve been lying to Reki thinking it would be the best way to keep him happy but I’m having to lie more and more, and I hate it, but I can’t stop. He’ll hate me if he finds out now, I’m in too deep.”

Joe sat on a crate next to where Langa was curled up and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, gently asking what Langa was lying about.

He explained how he and Reki had argued and the dilemma it had left him in, he then continued to describe how Adam had found him before he could make a rational decision, planting the idea of lying into his head. Desperately, Langa tried to justify his actions with various excuses, but the more he spoke, the more he realised how serious of a mistake he had made.

Joe gave him a disapproving yet sympathetic look, “I don’t know why you would take Adam’s advice—of all people—but it’s not an alibi you need just yet, it will hurt when you come clean, and you can never get the relationship between you spotless again. Especially when you have built lies upon lies against each other, it’s dirt beneath the dirt. However, Reki’s a good kid, and I know you mean so much to him, so if you admit your wrongdoings to him now then you might have a chance at salvaging your relationship into an authentic one again.”

Langa simply stared at the floor between his pale purple trainers, feeling increasingly more ashamed of his actions. But could he really face what he’d done and take responsibility for it in front of Reki? He hesitated, not sure what to say as the confidence in his ability to be honest was quickly dissipating.

As if he could read his mind, Joe continued, “I know it’s difficult, and it will get worse before it gets better, but Reki holds your friendship in such high regard that I know you’ll be able to go back to normal after the initial hurt.”

Langa gulped, forcing down the ever-growing lump in his throat. “Okay… I can try.”

“Give me more confidence than that, kid.”

“I-” Langa huffed, about to object and explain every reason why he couldn’t do that but he decided not to waste his efforts, instead simply saying, “I can’t promise anything.”

This earned a slightly disgruntled reaction from Joe, but promises were the reason why Langa was in this awful situation in the first place, he wanted to avoid making any more that he wasn’t certain he could keep, for as long as possible. Deciding he didn’t want to listen to any form of disappointment from Joe, he stood up from where he was sat against the wall and—still carrying the broken board—walked off, trying to avoid seeing anyone else who could be concerned as he made his way out of the main gate headed directly home.

Taking the direct route home dampened Langa’s mood even further. Usually, Reki and him would always stop at the 24-hour diner after S because every time Reki knew Langa was hungry and he would never refuse or give up the chance to spend just a bit more time with his best friend. But now, because of his own stupid mistakes, he was missing out on that, and equally missing Reki’s enthusiastic smile which was full of care for him.

As a result, he told himself he will visit Reki tomorrow and show him his broken board, admitting his faults even if he will be upset with him. He was scared he’d lose Reki completely if he didn’t do something soon, no matter how scary the thought of being honest was. He needed them to at least go back to normal, even if it was only ever a friendship.

Thursday: Snake v Miya

Langa had spent all night tossing and turning, his mind was racing with every possible scenario of how Reki would react when he finally came clean. It had also dawned on him that Reki will notice immediately that he is without a board when they meet up for school in the morning. Clumsily tapping at his phone screen to turn it on, he noticed it was already 6am. This meant he had the next hour to either come up with an excuse for why he doesn’t have a board or to work up the courage to tell Reki the truth. Deep down, he knew it should be the latter.

He spent the next hour stuck in this dilemma, unable to come to either conclusion by the time 7am rolled around. Regardless, he left the house without his board and willed his mind to come up with something before he reached Reki. Much to his dismay, he was still worrying about what to say when he walked around the corner onto the road with their lamp post and Reki was already standing there, his face changing from his usual buzzing excitement to confusion and concern.

“Dude, where’s your board?”

Not having the luxury of avoiding the topic as he had secretly hoped, the sudden pressure of the question pushed him to lie again. It was pathetic, he knew, but he was scared. Scared of himself and scared of the Reki’s reaction. Rationally, he knew it wouldn’t be as bad as his brain could imagine, but when in the last week had he ever been rational?

“Uh, I woke up super late and I forgot to pick it up but it was too late to turn around and grab it by the time I had noticed.”

Langa braced himself for some follow-up questions, not sure how believable his lie was, but thankfully Reki just shrugged and accepted it, picking up his own board and joining Langa at his side to walk to school together today instead.

The morning passed uneventfully and Reki still hadn’t brought up Langa’s board again so he felt it was safe to assume Reki had believed his lie once again. However, he then realised how much Reki really does trust him, even after breaking his trust over their initial promise.

Reki’s heartbroken “Do you know how much I trusted you?” from their argument rang in Langa’s ears.

Reki had so easily trusted him again and all he has done is take advantage of that. How could he admit that now? All he could do now was just hope it all works out, despite Joe’s warning. Although, he still needed his board fixed.

The two of them were sat next to each other by the school fence, eating their lunch in comfortable silence.

Langa hesitated for a moment, mouth opening and closing like a fish as he tried to decide whether or not to proceed with his question.

“…Reki?”

He hummed in response, mouth full of food and turning his head to look at Langa.

“Can I come over to yours this afternoon? My mum is working late and I don’t really have anything to do so…” He trailed off, suddenly extremely aware that he was anxiously rambling.

Quickly swallowing the last of his food, Reki playfully punched Langa’s shoulder, “Of course! You’re welcome whenever.”

He huffed in relief; small, typically insignificant moments like this had become so stressful now, despite the fact nothing had actually gone wrong—yet.

The rest of the day was soon over and around 5pm Langa decided to make his way over to Reki’s, forcing himself to get over his fear and taking his board with him.

The afternoon was shrouded by grey clouds, as if they couldn’t decide whether or not they wanted to rain. Shielded from whatever may happen weather-wise, he stood under the canopy of Reki’s porch, splintered wood in one hand and the other hesitant to knock on the door. Before his fist could reach the wooden door, it flung open, and Reki stood on the other side, grinning widely at Langa. That grin quickly faltered as he spotted the broken board in his hands.

“Oh, man, what happened?”

Shit.

Langa wasn’t prepared to explain so soon, the truth lingered on the tip of his tongue, but like the cowardly fool he was, he stumbled through some false explanation of him being too reckless and it breaking on his way there. Though, that seemed to satisfy Reki’s curiosity as he turned around, beckoning Langa to follow him and saying, “Ah, that’s rough. But come in, we can try to fix it.”

He followed him to the workshop, handing Reki the board as guilt once again flooded his senses. As Reki placed the board on the bench, Langa choked out a pitiful, “I’m sorry.” It was taking everything in him to not let the tears fall, but all his efforts were for nothing as Reki placed a gentle hand on his upper arm, turning Langa to look at him, saying gently, “Hey, what are you apologising for? I’m not upset with you, this was going to happen eventually, it’s okay.”

He desperately wanted to admit everything, to tell Reki all his regrets and how Langa doesn’t deserve his trust, but he couldn’t bring himself to, settling with, “But you worked so hard on it for me, and then I go and break it in such a reckless way, I couldn’t treat it with the care it deserves.”

Oblivious to the fact that deep down Langa wasn’t just talking about the board, Reki moved his hand up from his arm and cupped Langa’s cheek and he leaned into the touch. “It’s okay, I promise you, I know it wasn’t intentional and I’ll make you a new one.” He stepped closer to Langa, their chests almost flush against each other. “I’d happily make a million more boards if it was for you, regardless of how they break.”

They both started to lean in—

“Reki!” Koyomi appeared at the door, startling them as they frantically pulled apart. “Oh, sorry. Hi Langa, Mom said to tell you dinner will be ready in five. I’ll let her know you’re here too.” She smiled sweetly at Langa and then knowingly at Reki before she left, causing both of them to blush.

Reki cleared his throat, “We should probably get back inside.” He smiled shyly at Langa, laughing nervously.

“Um, yeah.” He agreed, desperately trying to understand what had just happened. Was Reki going to kiss him? Or had he misread the situation? He was so overwhelmed with feelings. He couldn’t bear to think about anything anymore, so he mindlessly followed Reki back into his house, trying to seem present as he ate with the Kyan family.

“So, Reki, what were you doing in the garage this time?” Koyomi asked, smiling and feigning innocent curiosity as she leant on the table, her chin in her palm.

Reki’s glass stopped in the air before it could reach his mouth as he faltered and Langa looked shamefully down at his plate in front of him. “Uh, well, Langa’s board snapped so we were planning to make a new one.”

Holding determined eye contact with Reki, she continued, clearly not satisfied with his answer. “Oh really? Is that all?”

Growing seemingly more agitated, Reki snapped back, “Shut up, of course that’s all! I don’t know what you’re trying to imply but give it up.”

She sighed, crossing her arms and sitting up straight, but turning her head away from Reki’s gaze, like a toddler throwing a tantrum. “Fine.”

Masae cast a curious and suspicious look between the siblings, seeming like she was about to ask them to elaborate but didn’t once she caught Langa’s eye and noticed the confusion plastered across his face. Even though he was trying to ignore what had just happened and all the feelings that came with it, the moment replayed in his mind over and over again. He was so frightened of misunderstanding the situation but surely there was no other explanation, was there? What did Koyomi know that Langa didn’t? Could their relationship be more than just best friends? Langa entertained the idea, realising that he did want that and he did like Reki romantically, but were those feelings actually reciprocated or was the almost-kiss they had just shared a spur of the moment thing?

Suddenly, he was hit with the grave realisation that regardless of how much he loved Reki, he was still a pathetic liar and wasn’t doing anything to make his actions right. He stood from the table, excusing himself to the bathroom where he ended up sitting on the floor with his head in his hands once again.

Maybe he didn’t deserve Reki’s love.

Chapter Text

Five long minutes passed and Reki was growing more and more concerned; Langa was never willingly alone for this long when he was at the Kyan home, so Reki gathered that something must be wrong. Was he upset at Koyomi for her comments? Or was he angry at Reki for trying to kiss him? Panic began to bubble up inside him—was it worth the risk of trying to approach Langa even if he was the likely cause of his absence?

“…Did I go too far?” Koyomi murmured, her playful attitude long forgotten and her eyes flicking between the table in front of her and Reki as he turned his attention towards her.

“What do you think?!” Reki snapped, causing a look of fear and hurt to flash across his sister’s face, as if she was a kicked puppy. He inhaled slowly, pulling himself back together and realising the damage inflicted by his own words. “Sorry, Koyomi. I don’t know why he left; it might not be your fault… chances are that it’s my fault anyway.”

“Reki. You should go and talk to him if you think there is something bad going on between you. Don’t let there be a repeat of your last argument.” Masae finally spoke up, her eyes narrowed with concern as she kept them trained on Reki as he stood up. He lingered there for a moment, he despised confrontation, but he knew his mother was right, even if she didn’t know the full story.

Eventually, he dragged himself to the bathroom door, reminding himself that if he wanted to show Langa he loved and cared about him, he had to stop avoiding vulnerable situations like this. Langa deserved better than that. He knocked his fist twice against the light wood, “Langa?”

No response.

“…Can I come in?” He heard some slow shuffling from behind the door as he waited anxiously, biting the skin off his bottom lip. The door opened slowly, and there Langa stood, staring at Reki with slightly red eyes and a poor attempt at a reassuring smile plastered across his face. Had he been crying?

“I didn’t mean to worry you, I’m sorry, Reki. I’m okay.” He could hear the hesitation in Langa’s voice, giving him all the more reason to worry despite his words.

“Oh. Are you sure?” Reki looked down, his attention drawn to Langa’s hands where his thumb was scraping up and down the nail of his index finger, scratching the varnish off. He couldn’t help but notice how uncharacteristically fidgety Langa was—what’s wrong and why was he lying about it? Regardless of his doubts, he brushed it off as Langa nodded.

“Yes, um, tell your mom I said thank you for the meal. I think I’ll go home now.” He gently pushed past Reki, who instinctively moved out the way, unsure whether to stop him or let him go.

“But what about your board?”

Langa stopped in his tracks, letting out a brief gasp and stayed turned away from Reki.

“Ah, I’ll just—I’ll pick it up tomorrow, I can walk home today.”

“Oh. Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Langa nodded again and made his way towards the front door, Reki trailed behind, debating whether or not to make the other stay and explain what the hell was going on with him. He ultimately decided against it and stood staring helplessly until Langa turned the corner and was out of sight. The clouds had darkened and were threateningly rumbling with thunder as an ice cold gust of wind blew over Reki, raising goosebumps on his skin and sending a violent shiver down his spine.

Sighing deeply, he closed the door and made his way back to the table where his family still sat.

“Where’d Langa go?” Koyomi asked, her expression turning concerned when she noticed Langa wasn’t with him.

“Home. I still don’t know what was wrong, he kept saying he was okay and that he’d go home before I even got the chance to ask more questions.”

“Oh…”

“It’s fine, I’ll fix his board and take it to him tomorrow so I can make sure he talks to me.” Despite not finishing even half of his food, he picked up his plate and made his way to the kitchen, throwing his food away and leaving the dish in the sink as he ignored his mom’s call to wash it up. His mind was too occupied with Langa. He tried to distract himself by working on his board, but even simply looking at something associated with him forced all his thoughts of him to the forefront of his mind. The soft look in Langa’s eyes as Reki held his face, the sweet obliviousness as he listened to Koyomi’s teasing, and then the shame that radiated off him as he tried to hide his feelings from Reki. Seriously, what was up with that? Langa was never the avoidant type—at least that’s what he thought. Doubts started to creep up in his mind; why couldn’t he read Langa like he normally could? What was he hiding that was making him act so drastically different from before? All he could do for now is trust in the strength of their friendship and the hope that it will all work out in the end.

Friday

Reki: Don’t bother about coming to mine, I’ll bring your board to you
Reki: Then we can go skating right away, the park is closer to yours anyway!!
Langa: Ok

Reki frowned at his phone. Sure, Langa was never that good at communicating through text, but he had never been this dry, why was he so blunt? He debated sending another text to give Langa the option of a cop out but remembered that they needed to have a conversation about the day before, he couldn’t put it off any longer.

With Langa’s board strapped to his backpack and his own under his feet, Reki began to make his way to his best friend’s house.

He was stopped at a zebra crossing when an unfortunately familiar, rage inducing voice spoke up from behind him.

“Hello, Red”

Reki turned to face the irritating man, his lips pulling into a scowl and keeping dangerous eye contact.

“Adam.”

“What’s with that bitter look, darling? I was just curious as to why you had my sweet Snow’s board.”

He shivered at the older man’s gross choice of words, keeping his answer as short as possible to get out of this situation as quickly as he could.

“He broke it, so I fixed it.” The pedestrian light signalled for him to cross, so he started to walk forward hoping with everything he had that Adam wouldn’t follow him.

Much to his dismay, the matador stayed close behind, interrogating Reki further.

“Do you know how he broke it?”

“Why would you care?”

“Just answer my question, child, there’s no need to be difficult.”

Slightly taken aback by how adamant Adam was being, he complied, “Uh, he broke it while skating to mine. His footing was wrong or something and it snapped beneath his feet.”

“Oh, how interesting!” Adam seemed incredibly pleased at his answer, causing a look of confusion to form on Reki’s face, “I hope you realise the liar takes a lot less time to decide on his saunter.”

Reki rolled his eyes, throwing his own board back down in front of him, prepared to skate off as soon as possible. “Yeah, whatever.”

Leaving the other man in the dust behind him and allowing muscle memory to take control, he let his mind wander, trying to make sense of what Adam had just said to him. Initially, he was only pissed off with him for prying into his and Langa’s business. “What the fuck was that about anyway? All he ever does is speak in riddles, how does he expect anyone to understand him?” He murmured to himself. However, doubts started to force their way into Reki’s mind. “Was he trying to tell me Langa has been lying to me? I mean, he has been acting quite strangely recently but surely he wouldn’t lie to me, especially after our last argument. I could tell how devastated he looked when I yelled at and ignored him. He wouldn’t put himself in that position again, would he?”

Before he knew it, he was approaching Langa’s apartment block, so he shook himself, pushing the doubts in his mind back down and preparing to face Langa to make amends. Something really was wrong; usually, Langa would be waiting outside the building, ready to let Reki in, but now he wasn’t there. Reki frowned again, pulling out his phone to send Langa a message.

Reki: Hey dude, I’m outside
Langa: Sorry, omw

Reki sighed, anxiously tapping his foot on the floor, all he could do is hope that Langa would be willing to talk.

As he saw the other boy approach behind the glass door, he grinned and waved at him. Despite the visible tiredness in Langa’s eyes, he offered a small smile back, causing a brief wave of relief to wash over Reki. He wasn’t sure what came over him, but as Langa opened the door Reki pulled him into a tight hug. At first, Langa didn’t hug back, he just stood there with his hands at his sides, the only reaction being a small gasp escaping from his lips. Just as Reki was about to pull away and apologise, Langa wrapped his arms around his waist and buried his face in the crook of his neck.

“I’m sorry.” Langa whispered.

Despite not knowing why Langa was apologising, he replied, “That’s okay, can we talk?”

With his arms still around Reki, Langa pulled back slightly to look at him as he nodded hesitantly and said, “You can come in, my mom is at work.”

They both let their arms fall away from the other’s embrace but as Langa turned around Reki grabbed his hand, making Langa look back at him with a curious hum.

“Nothing, let’s go.” Reki smiled at him, weaving his fingers between the other’s as they took the lift up to the apartment.

Reki allowed Langa to guide him to his bedroom, where they sat cross-legged opposite each other on his bed. Langa was still avoiding his gaze, so Reki put a hand on his knee in an attempt to ground him and make him comfortable enough to talk.

Soothingly rubbing his thumb across Langa’s knee, Reki began, “Hey, I could tell something was wrong from the moment you left the table yesterday. What’s up? You can talk to me, I promise.”

Langa was hesitating to respond, so Reki took a different approach.

“Was it Koyomi with all her questions? If it was, I swear I’ll—”

“No. It wasn’t Koyomi.” Langa interrupted, making direct eye contact and cementing his certainty. However, the surprise in Reki’s face forced him to avert his eyes and stare at the ground.

“Okay…” Reki suddenly felt like he was treading on eggshells; if not Koyomi, then was it him? He took a steadying breath and continued, “What happened then? You can tell me. It’ll be for the better.”

“I—” Langa took a shaky breath, and then another, and another, and each one was getting increasingly shallower. He squeezed his eyes shut and balled the front of his own shirt up in his hand, grabbing at his chest.

“Hey,” Reki said softly, taking Langa’s free hand in his own, “look at me, focus on me, it’s okay.”

Langa opened his eyes and made eye contact with Reki, who could see the tears threatening to spill over.

“…I can’t.” Langa choked out. His broken voice shattered Reki’s heart, this was the most vulnerable he’d ever seen him, yet he still didn’t know the reason why.

“Can’t what, Langa?” Reki pushed gently, trying to make sure his voice was filled with care, rather than the impatience and fear that was clouding his mind.

He could tell Langa was desperately trying to form a sentence, but to no avail as he shook his head, a singular tear falling down his cheek as he stared down at his lap. Like a dam had broken, the tears started to spill relentlessly.

“Hey, hey, come here.” Reki held his arms open, willing Langa to come forward. After a moment’s hesitation, he leaned forward, resting his head in Reki’s lap, who in turn put one hand on his arm and the other in his hair, gently massaging his scalp.

They stayed together like that for some time, until Langa’s breath had steadied and the tears stopped coming.

Eventually, he sat himself up and looked at Reki with a tired, tear-streaked face. Reki grabbed a tissue from Langa’s bedside table and dabbed the patches on his face that had been stained with tears, and Langa simply breathed, grounding himself.

“Are you feeling better?” Reki tried, scared that he might ask too many questions and make Langa cry again. However, Langa nodded, offering him a small smile.

“That’s good. Do you want to talk now?”

Suddenly, Langa looked away again, indicating he was avoiding the topic. This worried Reki, but he didn’t want to raise any alarms too soon, so he complied.

“Can we just go skating?” Langa requested, still avoiding Reki’s gaze.

“Are you sure? That must’ve really tired you out.”

“I’m sure. Please, Reki.”

“Alright, okay, just be sure to take a break if you get too tired.”

Langa nodded and slowly stood up from the bed, Reki watched him with concern as he simply stood there for a moment with his eyes closed. Just as Reki was about to check up on Langa again, he looked back with a mildly impatient look on his face. This prompted him to do as Langa wanted and walked over to where his backpack had been forgotten in the hallway and handed Langa his skateboard from it. All he wanted was for their relationship to at least go back to normal, and deep down he knew that this wasn’t the way to do so but it was so much easier. He couldn’t bear to see Langa in any worse state than he already had, even if it was only temporary.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Langa grabbed his board, walked past Reki and went straight out the door. Reki scrambled to keep up with him, not even allowing himself to think over Langa’s actions, instead living in blissful ignorance for the time being.

They spent hours skating around their whole town, and in every break they took, Reki attempted to get Langa to talk. However, it quickly became clear that Langa was too stubborn for his own good; he was so quick to get up and insist on skating again every time the sensitive topic approached.

It was almost 11:30 pm and once again they were sprawled out on their backs in the grass of their favourite skate park, breathing heavily after how intensely they had skated. Reki was lost in his own world, gazing up at the glittering stars above, when his train of thought was interrupted by a breathy giggle. He turned his head to the right, where he could see Langa looking up at the same sky, his eyes slightly creased as he laughed into the arm which lay across his face. His soft blue hair fanned out across the grass, and the moon illuminated his eyes as he turned to look at Reki, who couldn’t help but admire how beautiful the boy he secretly loved so dearly was.

A gentle smile pulled at Langa’s lips. “Thank you, Reki, somehow you always know how to make me feel better.”

Grateful for the lack of light around him, Reki felt his cheeks burn slightly as he chuckled nervously, “Ah, I mean, I didn’t do much, but I’m glad, Langa.”

His smile fell and was replaced by a soft, sad look, “You do more than you could ever know.” He moved his left hand across the grass and placed it on top of Reki’s. “And… I’m sorry for breaking down in front of you earlier, I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Worrying me isn’t the problem, Langa, I just need you to know that you can always tell me what’s on your mind and we can work through it, together.” Reki attempted to give Langa a comforting smile in the hope that he’ll finally open up.

“That’s easier said than done, Reki,” a strong emotion filled Langa’s voice, Reki struggled to pinpoint exactly what it was—frustration perhaps? Or regret? “Actually, it’s getting late, I need to go home now.” Langa pulled his hand away from Reki’s and swiftly got up, grabbing his board and walking out of the skate park, leaving Reki behind before he got the chance to protest.

As he stayed laying across the grass like Langa had left him, Reki’s own frustration began to boil in his chest. He had gotten so close to having the conversation they so desperately needed, but he lacked the resolve to keep pushing Langa into talking, even if he was uncomfortable with it. He couldn’t help but feel guilty if he upset Langa through being so adamant, even though he knew such a conversation would benefit their relationship so much more than dancing around it ever would.

With a defeated sigh, Reki grabbed his board and skated his own way home.

Reki laid in his bed, unable to sleep with all the thoughts racing through his head. His mind trailed back to his unwanted conversation with Adam that morning, specifically the last, strangely specific sentence he had said to him.

The liar takes a lot less time to decide on his saunter.

He decided that his poetry must have some sort of meaning because, sure, Adam enjoyed fucking with him, but now this involved Langa, and he couldn’t help but notice how perfectly it lined up with the doubts his mind was beginning to raise.

A saunter is a way of walking, right? But what would it mean to decide on one?

He thought back to every time he tried to talk to Langa about their current pressing issue, and a pattern emerged: Langa would always make a point to start moving again when the subject came near. Then earlier, he usually would skate out of the park to get home—but he walked! Reki couldn’t fathom why he would do such a thing, but there was one answer blaring at him.

Maybe Adam was right.

He shivered at the thought and at how he could’ve possibly known any of this would happen. There was no point in ignoring it anymore.

Langa was lying to him—but why, and what about?