Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

     As my thumb hovers over his contact, I feel my breath becoming restrained. Looking down at his profile photo, my heart stings as I subconsciously recall the moment it was taken.
…

     “Happy Birthday Langa!” Reki exclaims. I look up from my phone, and I can't hold back the smile that forces its way onto my face. His familiar messy red hair, contrasting perfectly with his bright yellow hoodie. After a moment, I look down at his hands and notice a neatly wrapped gift with a tag that writes “To Langa.”
     “Reki. I told you I didn't want anything for my birthday.”
     “Dude. I’m not just gonna not get you anything for your freakin birthday!” He scoffs, setting the gift on my desk. The gift was rectangular shaped, with a blue ribbon tied perfectly into a bow. I carefully observed the tiny doodles, the stickers scattered around the wrapping paper, and the hearts surrounding my name. I couldn't help but think back to the various times I've teased him about his messy style of decorating. Although, looking back, I never actually disliked it. It's what made Reki special, and there was no way I could be mad at that.
     “It’s perfect.” I smile up at him,“Thank you,”
Reki chuckles, and scratches the back of his neck nervously.
     “Jeez, you haven’t even opened it yet man…”
     “Oh, right, sorry”
     My hands reach out to tug on the neat ribbon that reveals the messily taped up wrapping paper, and I couldn’t help but crack a small grin at the uneven placements of the tape. I felt a little sad as I gently lifted up the paper to reveal the gift, since it felt like I was ruining Rekis hard work. When I was finally done unwrapping the gift, I picked up a scrapbook; a handmade scrapbook at that.
     “A scrapbook?”
     “Yeah!” He exclaimed, “I know it's a bit lame, but I wanted you to have something to look back at all the memories we’ve made together. Y’know, while skating n’stuff.” He looks down at his fidgety hands, avoiding eye contact.
     “I love it, Reki. It's beautiful.”
For a brief moment, he looks up at me excitedly, then looks away bashfully.
     “You do? It's really not a big deal man…”
     “It is. It’s amazing Reki. Thank you.” I say, my eyes never leaving the book. I flip through the blank pages, daydreaming about the pictures we would fill it with, together.
     “Do you wanna take one right now?” he says. I snap out of my daze, and look up at Reki
     “Huh?”
     “I mean a picture. For the scrapbook?” He says, grinning at me. I nod, and watch him pull his phone out of his back pocket. On the back of his phone, in the case was a polaroid of the two of us. I remember taking it when we went to the beach with everyone. Man, I was so happy.
     “Smile!”

…
Beeeeeep!

     “Hey man! What's up?” My heart drops at the excitement in his voice. In this moment, I realize there is nothing I can say or do to change the outcome of this phone call.
     “......Langa? You there?”
I sit there unable to speak, stroking the quilt Reki hand made for me, trying to grasp some form of comfort. No matter how hard I tried, there was no more avoiding it. I had to tell him.
     “We're moving back to Canada.” I blurt out breathlessly, a grim sense of relief leaving my body. The truth was out, and sure, it felt good, but it brought a new sense of reality to the situation. I would be leaving my best friend who rescued me when I was drowning in grief after my father’s death. Reki gives me a thrill in life. Skating with him gives me a breath of fresh air I didn't know I needed, I can't lose that. The line goes quiet for a moment, before I hear the quiet sound of a sigh.
     “This is a prank, right?” He says, chuckling nervously. My stomach drops. I’ve never been good with words, I know that, but Reki deserves someone who can let him down softly.
     “No Reki, My mom got a job offer that pays better there, and my grandparents are offering to let us stay with them.” I say with a wince. The line goes quiet again, and the anticipation kills me.
     “This has to be a dream,” He says, his voice quivering slightly.
     “I wish it was..”
A rather uncomfortable silence passes over us, something I'm not so used to with him.
     “...Can I come over?” His voice breaks on that last “over”, and I feel my heart clench.
     “Always.”
…
     The second I open the door to face Reki, he pulls me into a tender hug. I practically sink into his touch, and feel him sniffle into my shoulder. Oh god.. Please don't cry. It feels worse knowing there's nothing I can do to fix this. He pulls away, sniffling quietly. He takes a shaky breath and then grins at me.
     “Wanna skate?”
…
     We sit together soaking up our fleeting sunset. The sun casts an orange hue across the skatepark, and I glance over at Reki. He's kicking his skateboard back and forth, saying nothing. The silence that I'm usually comfortable with, is eating me alive.
     “I can’t believe you’re leaving.” He says, avoiding my eyes. I wish he would look at me. I stay silent, unable to figure out the right words. I'm usually scarce of words, but today more than ever.
     “I'm really gonna miss you dude.” He says again, glancing over at me while picking at a bandage on his knee. I lock eyes with him for a moment, watching them well up as I do. Before I know it he falls into my shoulder, his sobs muffled by my baggy T-shirt. My stomach drops when I hear his silent sobs, and I wrap my arms softly around him. We sit there for a moment holding each other, and I honestly can't imagine what he's feeling right now. He hasn’t told me much about his life before I moved here, but I know he got bullied pretty bad when his friend got hurt. I don’t want to think about him going through that again. After a few minutes of him crying and me rubbing his back softly, he pulls away.
     “How long until you move?” He asks, wiping his tears and sniffling.
     “2 months.” I say quietly. He nods and looks back out to the sunset, which was slowly turning dark as the minutes passed.
     “You’ll be here for my birthday.” He says, smiling ever so slightly through the tears and puffy eyes. I so desperately wanted to wipe those tears, to do something to fix this. But I just sat there, unmoving. I glance over at him, and begin examining his face. The way he tries to force his smile, even while he's holding back tears and the way he avoids eye contact when he asks the things he really doesn’t want to ask. You can see it all in his face.
     “I'm really excited.” I say, trying to lighten the mood. He nods, glancing back out at the sunset kicking his board again. The only time i've ever seen Reki with this little enthusiasm was when we had our fight. Before I know it, Reki jumps up, wiping his face subtly. He takes off on his skateboard, nailing a few tricks as he goes. I watch as the further he skates down the park, the more he just looks like a silhouette against the darkening sky.

Chapter Text

The repeated sounds of a bouncy ball hitting the ceiling fill my partially packaged up room with sound. My grey walls were stripped clean of the posters and Polaroids that once filled them with life, laid out across the floor. I stare at the picture sat in front of me, which was taken in a Photo Booth at the annual faire. Reki had pulled me into a big hug on the last frame, and my blushing face formed a dorky smile as he did. The recollection of the moment made my face go hot. I ran my fingers along the picture gently before rubbing my sweaty palms on my criss-crossed knees and turning towards Reki. He was laying on my bed staring at the ceiling, occasionally letting out a sigh. I rolled my eyes. I could tell he was getting bored as I packaged all my favorite things about my bedroom in tight boxes.
“I invited you here to help me, you know.” I say, although there's no particular malice behind it. Reki stops throwing the ball, catching it in his hand. He turns his head towards me.
“Yeah man- I know that… I’d just rather not think about my best friend moving away.” He says with a frown, which makes me immediately feel terrible about my lack of enthusiasm in my tone.
“Sorry..”
Reki glances over towards me, flashing me a look of sincerity and regret. “No, it's fine. It is what it is right?” He says with a slight grin, clearly trying to lighten the mood. He’s always putting on this cheerful demeanor, even when we both know he isn’t doing well. I nod, although it doesn’t really make me feel any better. Regardless if we make the most of it for the time being, I still have to move, and I think Reki knows that too. I bite my lip, and glance down at a few posters rolled up in front of me. I can practically feel Reki's gaze, and that causes me to look back over at him laying on my bed. At some point I’m going to have to get rid of that too. I didn’t want to think about that right now. Reki gets up from the bed and walks over towards me, plopping down next to me criss-cross.
“Why don’t we take a break from packing, yeah? We've got the next month to cram, let’s just hang out for now.” He said, giving me a soft smile and resting his hand on my shoulder. The feeling of his fingertips on my shoulder warms my body as I blink at him for a moment. He stares at me so gently, and I have to bite back every urge to pull him into a tight embrace and never let go. Honestly, what I’d really want to do is stay here, lay in bed with him, and hold each other for the next two months. Maybe under different circumstances, I could hold him. We would stay with each other everyday, and not have to worry about the impending deadline.
“Okay,” I agree, because how could I not when he’s looking at me like that, sitting in my sentimental space that I’m gonna have to say goodbye to come next month.
…
The burger joint we arrive at is a little run down, but homey. There are booths lined up against the walls, and tables filling up the space away from the wall. Reki and I stop at the dimly lit booth we've sat at so many times before, and I watch as he sits down with an “oof” sound, leaning his skateboard against the outside of the booth. After a moment, I follow him and do the same. He holds up the menu, although I already know what he’s going to order. As if perfectly on cue, he says, “I think I’m going to get the bacon burger.”
I laugh quietly, putting a hand over my mouth, and nod. “I don’t know why you look at the menu dude, that’s what you always get.”
Reki shakes his head, and replies playfully. “Nah man, I gotta see if my stomach wants something else! Although, it usually wants the same thing everytime.”
“Right, well..” I glance over the menu briefly, before setting it down and looking back at Reki. “I’m gonna get a cheese burger and a milkshake today.”
Reki stares at me, nodding slowly before he responds.
“Good choice, good choice…..” He keeps nodding for a beat, before beaming excitedly.
“Who do you think’s gonna win at S tonight? Personally, I think Miya’s gonna kick Shadow's ass, but he might put up a good fight.”
I nod, considering the likeness of each of my friends winning.
“Well, they’re both pretty skilled skaters. Miya's a national hopeful, but then, Shadows got his bombs.”
Reki nods, rubbing his chin as if pondering what I’ve said. Then, he chuckles to himself, “Trust me dude, I know.” He says, recalling only what I assume as the moment Shadow brutally burned Reki’s old board after winning against him in a beef.
“Nah, I still think Miyas got it.” He says. “He’s got pure skill.”
Before I can respond, a tall waitress comes to greet us. She goes through the usual routine, welcoming us to the restaurant, introducing herself, and asking what we’d like to drink. Reki orders first, as usual, and I follow. After we order, Reki begins speaking to me again. The routine is so practiced, like we’d done it a thousand times before. It's comforting to have that security. I know what to expect when I’m with Reki, and the thought that I'm going to lose that security in my life is terrifying.
“Langa, you there?” I'm snapped out of my daze when I see Reki waving his hand in my face. I stare at his calloused fingers for a moment before he takes his hand away, grabbing his phone sitting on the table.
“I was talking about trying a laser flip.” He turns his phone towards me and I glance down at the guy in the video nailing the trick. He starts cheering, and running over to his friends sitting around him. I stare at Reki as he smiles at the video. It reminds me of us, the way excitement overwhelms everyone in the video. For a short moment, they can ignore everything around them, focused only on the success in nailing the trick they'd spent hours on. Reki looks to me, smiling eagerly.
“We have to try it tonight.” He proceeds. I nod quickly, smiling softly. He never fails to include me in everything he does. When we first met, the first thing Reki said to me was, “Hey! Can you stop that skateboard?” and I don't know if we’ve ever stopped talking about skating since. Every time he's excited about something, he always raves about how we have to try it together, and he does it so passionately too. The way Reki talks about everything with such passion is endearing to me, so endearing that I'm almost envious of him. He puts his all into everything he does, no matter what the outcome is and throughout this past year with him, he's taught me how to do the exact same. When the waitress comes back to our table, bringing our drinks and taking our orders, my thoughts of affection towards Reki don't falter. By the time she's gone, Reki turns to me once again.
“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” He says, resting his cheek in his palm.
“You.” I say honestly. I watch as his face heats up and he chuckles nervously, and I take note of how cute he looked when he did that. He covers his face with his hands before taking them away and grinning at me.
“What about me?” He says, raising an eyebrow, the flush still present on his face.
“You’re so good at skating.” I start. “And so passionate too.” I watch as he rests his cheek in his palm again, and he swallows hard.
“Wheres this coming from?” I couldn't give a proper answer to that, even if I tried, because truly, I think about Reki all the time.
“It's contagious, your passion. You make me a better person, and honestly, I owe all my success in skating to you.” He holds his hand out, stopping me for a moment.
“Jesus dude,” he says. “We don't need a whole love confession in the burger joint.” Now it was my turn to blush. What did he mean by love confession? Did he mean it as a joke, or did he actually think that it was a love confession? And if he did, would he be okay with it? Reki chuckles, and I feel my heart hammer in my chest.
“If anything, you’re the one making me a better person.” He says, picking at his finger nails in front of him. He was wrong. So wrong. Reki has been a ray of sunshine since the day we met, warming and bringing light to all the dark and cold parts of me. It hurts to know that he can so easily deny these things that I adore about him like this. Before I’m able to say anything, our waitress arrives at our table holding plates of food. She sets them both down in front of us. I watch as Reki thanks her, then turns to me.
“I feel like the laser flip can't be that hard.” He says, taking a bite of the burger in front of him. Just like that, Reki changes the topic and I’m left with 1,000 thoughts running through my head. With food in his mouth he continues. “I mean, people say it's hard, but- it's pretty similar to a kickflip you know. Just- harder.” he says, chuckling.
“Although, you’d probably get it first try.” He says with false annoyance, grinning at me. I take a bite of my food, still thinking about what he said earlier. Would he be uncomfortable if it was a confession? If I told him, would he laugh nervously and deny it? Even if he did accept it, where would we go from there? It's not like I’m going to be in Okinawa forever. I swallow hard, trying to stop myself from thinking about all the things I know I shouldn’t think about. How will we stay friends when I’m in Canada? We aren't going to be able skateboard anymore, and I don't think I want to if it's not with him. I glance up at Reki, watching the way his face lights up as he talks. I start to feel my throat become tight, but I don't let it show. Instead, I take another bite of my burger, and nod as Reki rambles on about our plans later.
“I think we should hit up the gas station before we go to S. I got like- no sleep last night and I’m definitely gonna need some energy to pick me up.”
I take a sip of my milkshake, and swallow before replying, “Why didn’t you get sleep that night?” I ask, with a hint of concern in my tone.
He shrugs, waving a dismissive hand, “Oh you know, working on skateboards for the shop.” He says, although I don't know if I believe him. Maybe it was the way his voice cracked a little, or maybe it was the way he rubbed his palms on his thighs after he said it. Usually, when Reki does stay up working on skateboard, he talks about it the entire day, ranting on and on about how he’s pissed off he didn't get any sleep and how Oka overworks him. Today, there was none of that.
“Anyway,” He deflects, “I’m ready to head out whenever you are.” I glance down at my partially eaten burger, and pick it up to take a few more bites. I watch as Reki scrolls through his phone, occasionally showing me videos of guys doing tricks. After a few minutes pass, I finish my food, and the waitress comes back with our bill. We split the check, and made our way out of the restaurant. As we walked to the skatepark, I couldn't help but wonder why he stayed up last night, and why couldn’t he tell me what it was.