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Chapter Text

The air smelt of burnt rubber, engine fumes, sweat, and champagne. Oscar Piastri stood on the top of the podium, keeping his usual cool composure as he held up his trophy unenthusiastically. 

Max Verstappen stood in second place, focusing on the cheering crowd, while I stood at third, my gaze fixed on Oscar.

His gaze flicked to me, and I quickly looked away. “Congrats, little Lando,” I heard Oscar tease from above me. 

What did he just say to me!? Little Lando!? Oh, good god.

I wanted to slap Oscar, but I didn’t. I simply blinked up at him. Slowly. Menacingly. Oscar, illuminated by sunlight and looking like a fucking god, winked back. Winked. He fucking winked. I felt my face heat up at the simple, teasing gesture. 

I was glad to get off that podium and head to the McLaren garage. Of course, Oscar was already there. I did not care. I grabbed the nearest pillow, fell on the floor, and screamed into it like a schoolgirl with a crush.

“What’s wrong, little Lando?” Oscar teased, sashaying towards me.

I wanted to disappear into the pillow, my face still buried inside it. I instead hissed. I fucking hissed at Oscar Piastri. What the hell.

I heard Oscar snort. “Someone’s feisty, ey?”

I didn’t respond. Did I hate Oscar? Yes. Did I love  Oscar? Even more, yes.

I was just a Disaster Gay™️ who had fallen in love with his… teammate? Rival? Friend? God knows.

As soon as he came, Oscar had left, and was replaced by someone else. Daniel Riccardo, who had somehow gotten into the McLaren garage. “Is Lando Norris gay panicking?” The teasing voice came from above.

Silence. Then. “Yes. Yes he is,” I muttered into the pillow.

Daniel clapped his hands. “Get up, you fruity little man,” He dragged me from the pillow, and I screeched like a deranged old lady. Daniel grabbed me by the wrists and picked me up from the floor.

“Why,” I asked. It wasn’t even really a question. I knew why. Daniel was a drama king who monitored every single relationship in the paddock. He had a Google Spreadsheet with everyone’s relations, for god’s sake. He’s not even on the grid anymore!?

I struggled from Daniel’s grip, running out of the garage before he could protest. I let the cool air hit me as I stepped outside. I took a breath and opened my phone to Twitter. Big mistake.

There was Oscar fucking Piastri, on the podium, soaked in sweat and champagne, his racesuit clinging to his skin. I slammed my phone face down onto the ground, knowing my screen protector would save it.

I picked my phone up after a moment, throwing it once more after seeing the image of Oscar pop up. I stared at my phone, laying on the ground. Not moving, not speaking, just staring.

Yuki Tsunoda walked up to me. “Yo, Lando, why do you look like a Victorian woman seeing ankle for the first time?”

I slowly looked up to meet Yuki in the eyes. “What the hell?” I blinked, confused.

Yuki stared back. “You look mortified.”

“I am mortified,” I groaned.

Yuki took a sip of a suspicious drink can with no label. “Mortified as in traumatized mortified or mortified as in gay panic mortified?”

“It’s the same thing, in my case,” I picked up my phone, swiping out of Twitter as fast as I could.

Yuki placed a hand on my shoulder. “Be strong. Be gay. Slay the day away.” He then calmly walked away, like he just hadn’t said the most confusing thing ever.

“What the fuck?” I muttered under my breath, tucking my phone into my pocket as I began to walk in no specific direction.

Chapter Text

When the time came, I made it to the airport, where we were already being sent off to where the next race would be held.

I felt like a package being shipped. A gay, blushing, disastrous racer package.

I boarded the plane, after the boring and long checking in process. Of course I was next to Oscar. He was my teammate. He was an idiot. He was hot.

I let out a heavy sigh as I sat in the window seat; Oscar had not yet boarded the plane.

I pulled out my phone, scrolling through it for a while before I felt a presence next to me. I peeked over at Oscar, giving him the most unnecessary and deadly side-eye ever.

“Watcha’ dooooiiinn’?” Oscar leaned over my shoulder, looking at my phone.

The gay was too stunned to speak. Oscar was deadly close. His breath on my ear; our shoulders almost brushing. “Uhh—uh,” I muttered, turning off my phone in one swift motion.

Yuki looked back from the seat in front of us, aggressively pointing at me. “Victorian woman,” He said, before he screeched and got pulled down into the seat by who I assumed was Max.

Oscar stared at where Yuki had looked over the seat just moments prior. “What..?” He narrowed his eyes in confusion, brow furrowing.

Hot. I stared at Oscar, immediately regretting ever having the ability to think, see, hear, breathe, and feel. I blushed and looked out the window, even though I knew Oscar could probably see my blazing face in the reflection.

However, Oscar had already looked away, doing something or other on his phone.

Before I knew it, I had dozed off. I was having a weird dream. Fernando Alonso was arrested for cannibalizing everyone on the grid, including me, except I was still there at the trial. The judge was Toto Wolff, and Fernando’s lawyer was some weird pale French guy who was also a cannibal who was eating a lemon.

I woke up after Fernando had been sentenced to 40 alien years in prison, blinking the sleep out of my eyes. I realized in horror that my head was leaning on Oscar’s shoulder. However, I didn’t move. Oscar didn't seem to mind, and I surely didn’t. I just kind of laid there for a little while, sleepy and content.

I finally looked up when I heard Charles Leclerc, who was sitting across from me and Oscar, whisper something to Lewis Hamilton. “I’ve seen pride parades straighter than this.”

“What the hell?” I sat up, glaring at the two Ferrari drivers. I looked over to Oscar for a moment, and I swear I saw a flicker of disappointment in his eyes once I had moved my head. Probably just wishful thinking.

Charles gasped. “It’s Lando’s gay awakening! In both ways!” He exclaimed.

Even Oscar chuckled at that. A soft, quiet chuckle. But it was still a chuckle. One that sent my heart racing. Oscar showing emotion!? I must be in a dream.

I just nervously laughed. “Woah, low blow, Leclerc…” I muttered, emotionless.

“Hey, you good?” Oscar looked at me. His face was sincere and slightly worried.

I looked at the floor, trying to think of a clever response, but all that came out was “As good as cement!” What the fuck did I just say? What does that even mean!?

Oscar stuttered, obviously confused. “Oh—uhh… umm… i-is that good?” His voice cracked. An adorable voice crack, at that.

I opened my mouth, but stayed silent for a moment. “P-perhaps,” I finally murmured, my wide eyes staring at my shoes, which were shuffling nervously.

“I see,” Oscar patted me on the shoulder and turned away.

The simple gesture made me tense up. Then made me rethink all of my life decisions. Especially the one about falling in love with the idiot beside me.

The rest of the plane ride was filled with the laughter and banter from other drivers, meanwhile I was just staring at Oscar. Because of course I was.

Oscar glanced back at me, so I quickly turned my attention elsewhere, pretending to be really interested at a spot on the floor.

“What are ya’ thinkin’ about?” Oscar asked, leaning forwards to look at my face.

“U-umm…” I stuttered, too preoccupied with how Oscar’s breath felt on my face to come up with an excuse. “M-murder!? Maybe?” I exclaimed in a panic.

Oscar just stared at me for a moment, expressionless. Then he began to laugh. It started out as a little giggle, but it started to get louder until it turned into a full laugh.

I wasn’t sure if he was laughing at me or with me, but I just decided it was with me so I started to laugh, too. We snorted and laughed, to the point where other drivers gave us weird looks. Once it had died down to a little giggle, I noticed Oscar staring at me fondly, a big smile on his face.

I loved Oscar’s silly little smile. And his eyes. I met his gaze, feeling heat rush through my face. We stared for a good ten seconds, and the world seemed to close to just around his head.

The moment was broken when Oscar looked away, and I turned my own gaze to my lap, making sure to burn that moment into my brain.

“Damn it…” I muttered, feeling the wounds on my wrist start to sear. I put my hand on my sleeve where it covered up the cuts.

Oscar looked over at my hand. “Hey, are you okay?”

I gripped my wrist harder. “Y-yeah, I’m fine,” I put on a horribly fake smile.

Oscar looked doubtful. “Are you sure..?” He seemed genuinely worried.

“Yeah. Sorry,” I grumbled, looking back to my hand and wrist.

“What are you sorry for?” Oscar scooched a bit closer.

I wasn’t quite sure either. “Everything, I guess.” I shrugged.

“Everything?” Oscar looked into my eyes. “You surely haven’t done everything wrong. In fact, I think you do most things right.” He reached over and squeezed my shoulder, the touch making me freeze up.

I was flustered. “O-oh… th-thank you.” I tried to muster a genuine smile, but I could tell by the softness in Oscar’s eyes that it looked dorky.

The plane finally landed, and as I stood up, I started to think. Why has Oscar been so nice to me? I thought we were enemies. Rivals? I don’t even know at this point…

I grabbed my bag from the overhead compartment, shuffling around as I was squished between Charles and Oscar.

I clutched my carry-on in one hand, nervously fidgeting with my other as the other drivers slowly filed off of the plane.

It took a bit, but I was relieved when it was finally my turn to get off. I stepped off the plane, breathing in the fresh air as I made it to the cement.

After a long day of riding in planes and cars, the drivers finally made it to the hotel where we’d be staying.

I watched as the other teams got their keycards, and it was finally me and Oscar’s turn. I just expected the usual. Separate rooms, like always.

However, fate wasn’t (or was?) on our side today. I saw the receptionist look up at us apologetically. “There seems to have been a mistake,” I held back a groan, preparing for the worst. “You’ll be sharing one room.”

One room? Not the worst. “Oscar, you better not snore,” I teased as I took the keycard.

Oscar snorted. “I don’t think I do.”

We made it up to our room, our bags in tow. I slid the keycard into the door, and opened it up. 

I realized that the room was quite small. It was still nice, just not a lot of space. But then I noticed something.

In the room, there was one. Small. Bed.

Fuck.

Chapter Text

I think I was internally gay panicking. I take that back. I definitely was.

“Twitter doesn't have to know,” Oscar threw his bags on the floor like this was a normal situation. He walked across the room to the mini-kitchen.

I stood, petrified. I held my breath until I started to choke. I breathed in the hotel air, the fresh scent filling my lungs. I groaned and walked forwards, flopping onto the bed.

Oscar looked over at me. “You good?”

“Ehhhhhhhhhh,” I groaned into the sheets.

“Fair.” Oscar shrugged, grabbing two Coca Colas. He walked over and sat down on the bed next to me, where I was still facedown on the covers.

I felt Oscar nudge me in the side, and I turned my head to look at him. I let out a questioning grumble as he offered me soda. I took the can and sat up, opening the tab with a hissss. “You remembered my favorite drink.”

Oscar shrugged. “It’s my favorite drink, too.”

“I know,” I took a sip of the Coca Cola.

“So you remembered mine, too.” He nudged me with his shoulder, smirking.

We sat there in a comfortable silence, drinking our sodas and scrolling through our phones. Before I knew it, it was 9:38. “We should get to bed,” I yawned.

Oscar nodded. “You can change in the bathroom, I’ll change out here.”

“Change into what?” I know, a stupid question, but in my defense, I’m sleepy.

Oscar giggled. “Pajamas, duh. Do you have dementia?” He teased.

I chuckled and grabbed pajamas out of my suitcase and headed into the bathroom.

I took off my clothes from that day and gagged  at the sight of my body. Literally gagged. The stupid scars on my arms. The fresh cuts. My body in general. I closed my eyes as I put on my gray pajamas.

I made the fatal mistake of walking out of my room at that moment. I stood frozen for a moment, staring at shirtless Oscar Piastri. I stuttered, not sure how to handle with the shirtless hot man in front of me.

Oscar turned around, seeing my red face as I tore my gaze away from him. He smirked, but acknowledged the situation no more.

I got into the bed and stared at the ceiling as Oscar slid in beside me. Our legs were pressed together, and I tensed up. It took me a while to fall asleep, but I was glad that I finally did without too much contact with Oscar.

Chapter Text

I woke up, and was surprised to find Oscar’s arm over my stomach, his face pressed into his pillow. At least he stayed on his side of the bed… kinda… If I’m being honest, I wish he hadn’t…

“STOP BEING GAY!” I meant to yell it internally. I tried to. I failed. I yelled it externally.

Oscar looked up at me. “What?” He didn’t even try to move his arm. I’m glad he didn’t.

“N-nothing. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.” I pulled the sheets over my face.

Oscar giggled, a sleepy edge to it. “I’m too tired to get up.”

“Me too,” I agreed, snuggling further into the covers. I turned over to face Oscar, his arm still over me. We were inches away, and I could feel Oscar’s breath on my face as I looked into his pretty brown eyes. “Hey,” I murmured, blushing.

“Hey.” Oscar brushed a lock of hair out of my face. He draped his arm over my neck.

My breath hitched as he pulled me in closer. I was about to curl up against him, when my phone buzzed. I awkwardly sat up, Oscar’s arm falling back to his side as I checked my phone.

Yuki had sent me an image. I opened the text and my jaw dropped. It was a picture of Yuki in the hotel security camera room, the TV next to him displaying me and Oscar’s room. On the TV, we were curled up next to each other, almost cuddling.“How the hell—” I cut myself off when I noticed there were a few security guards knocked out on the floor next to Yuki.

Yuki is 5’3.

I don’t think I need to explain anymore.

“God damn it, Yuki,” I muttered.

“Hey! Don’t say that!” Oscar teased.

“Sorry, Oscar…” I sighed. “Forcas damn it, Yuki,” I corrected myself.

“Better.” Oscar nodded in approval. “But what did Yuki do?”

I just showed him my phone.

“Oh fuck,” Oscar breathed. “Fuckity fucking fuck fuck fuck!”

“Yep…” I let out a heavy sigh.

“Do you think he’ll use this against us?” Oscar asked.

“It’s Yuki.” I stared at Oscar. “What the hell do you think!?”

Oscar looked at his hands. “Fair. Very fair.”

I kind of just sat there, unsure what to say or do next.

“Should we get breakfast?” Oscar suggested. “Like… go to a coffee shop or something?”

I feel like I’m being asked on a date… “Sure. Anywhere specific?” I tried to keep a steady voice, pushing the thought of it being a date to the very back of my mind.

Oscar opened up his phone, looking through it for a minute. “There’s this little French cafe.” He leaned over to show me the profile, his cheek almost brushing mine.

My brain stuttered for a moment. I finally processed what was happening after getting over the shock of Oscar’s close proximity. “Yeah, that place looks cute. We should go.” I nodded. “I-if you really want to, of course,” I added quickly.

Oscar rolled his eyes affectionately. “I suggested it, of course I want to go, silly.” He nudged my side with his elbow.

I chuckled nervously. “Yeah, heh…” I saw the unmasked affection in his eyes. Bitch. In a loving way.

After me and Oscar had gotten dressed and stuff, we were ready to face the cruel, dangerous world outside. A world filled with republicans and homophobes.

“So, where’s that bakery again?” I asked as I opened the hotel room door.

Oscar walked out, checking his phone. “It’s just down the street. A short little walk away from here.”

“Okay, sounds nice.” I followed Oscar as we silently walked down the hall, our shoes making gentle patting sounds against the fancy carpet.

Oscar paused, taking out his phone as it buzzed in his pocket. “Oh, fuck…” He muttered.

“What is it?” I stopped, looking back at where Oscar was standing still, brow furrowed, focused on his screen. Hot.

“We’ve been invited to a breakfast with the other drivers,” Oscar sighed.

“Great…” I muttered. “So, where are we going?”

Oscar began to walk down the hall again. “Just in the restaurant downstairs.”

We walked in silence through the hotel, making it into the elevator and down to the first floor.

I could already hear a screech coming from the dining area as me and Oscar neared the lobby. “Oh, god…” I murmured at the loud noise.

Oscar stopped me at the entrance to the restaurant. “Ready to face… whatever this is?” He said it as if we were about to enter a dragon’s lair. Maybe we were.

“Nope.” I continued walking, earning a cute little snicker from Oscar.

Chapter Text

“Thanks for ruining our plans,” Oscar walked into the restaurant, me trailing behind him like a lost puppy.

The other drivers looked up at us.

Fernando Alonso gave us that  look. “Ooooohhhh, were you guys gonna go on a daaaatttteeeee???” He teased.

“W-were we?” I squeaked out stupidly.

Oscar looked at his feet for a moment. “Holy fuck, we might’ve been.”

Everyone at the table let out a collective: “ooohhhhhhhhhhh!!!”

I just ignored that, blushing, as I walked over to the table. I found an empty seat and sat down in it. Oscar sat down next to me, as it was the only available seat.

I put my hand in my pocket, feeling pain spike through me as my hand hit a blade I forgot was in there. I bit my lip, but nothing more. I was too used to this kind of pain.

I pulled my hand out, wiping it with a napkin. My blood stained the napkin red, seeping through and spreading onto the thin paper.

“What happened?” Oscar looked at my hand, worried.

“Nothing,” I muttered, dabbing at the sticky liquid.

Fuck, why did I have to leave that stupid blade in my pocket!?

Kimi Antonelli was sitting on the other side of me, staring at his untouched eggs Benedict as if it held all the answers to the world.

“What’s wrong, mate?” I asked the rookie.

Kimi let out a jumble of sounds that was more like a whale call than anything. I saw him point at Ollie Bearman, who was sitting next to him and laughing at something Lewis Hamilton had said.

“Ohhhhh,” I understood immediately. I could see the look of gay despair on Kimi’s face.

“What do I do?” Kimi squeaked out, turning his flustered face towards me.

I knew what I was about to do was mean. I didn’t care. Too much, anyways.

“Hey, Ollie!” I leaned forwards, looking past Kimi, who was giving me the death stare.

“Hmm?” Ollie snapped his head around, making eye contact with me.

“Who do you have a crush on?” I bit back a smirk.

“Oh—uhh…” I saw a blush spread across Ollie’s face, and I swear his gaze flickered to Kimi more than once.

I saw Kimi laugh nervously. “You probably shouldn’t ask him that… th-that’s kind of personal…”

“Well then I guess you wouldn’t like sharing your crush, would you, Kimi?” I looked at Kimi's flustered expression.

Kimi shook his head quickly. “No, no I would not!”

Ollie had leaned forwards to look at Kimi’s face. “Stop biting your lip, you weirdo. I think it’s about to bleed,” He chuckled at Kimi.

“Yeah, well, it's hot, isn't it?” I choked when Kimi said that. I saw regret and fear light up in Kimi’s eyes a moment later.

“Yes.” Ollie clearly regretted that response, too.

Kimi turned his head slowly to stare into Ollie’s eyes.

I chuckled. “My work here is done!” I hit my hands together repeatedly, pretending to dust them off.

I looked down at my food that I do not remember getting and began to eat it while watching the show happening next to me.

Kimi was still a blushing mess, letting out a tiny squeaking sound every time Ollie dared to breathe. Meanwhile, Ollie was staring at Kimi wistfully from behind, as if he could unlock Kimi’s soul with his eyes.

“Stop calling me fruity!” I heard someone yell from across the table, and before even identifying who it was, I bursted out laughing. The rest of the table did, too.

“I’m sorry—wh-what!?” I choked out through laughs, which were more like sobs at this point.

I looked around, my eyes blurred by tears and my chest aching with laughter, trying to identify who had just yelled that.

Once I was finally able to breathe again, Lewis pointed at Max. “Him. He just yelled that.”

“W-were you calling him fruity???” Gabi Bortoleto asked.

Lewis sighed. “Y-yes, yes I was,” He admitted.

“Why, though!?” Isack Hadjar seemed exasperated.

“Because he’s being fruity!” Max crossed his arms and scoffed.

Oscar giggled. “How so?”

Lewis gave Max the death stare, as though he could use pure willpower to stop him from talking. It didn’t work.

Max leaned back in his chair casually, eyeing Lewis with a smug look on his face. “For one, he’s ranting to me about his favorite designer brands,” Max began, and I knew Lewis was going to be red-faced after this.

“He is doing that hand thing,” Max flipped his hand down, doing the gay hand thing. “He mentioned his favorite show is Queer Eye, and he just gives off vibes!” Max finished his statement, rolling his eyes half-sarcastically, half-annoyed.

The whole table bursted out lauging once again. And, as I predicted, Lewis was soooo flustered.

Once the laughter has died down, my chest hurt and my jaw ached.

I looked over to check on Kimi, who was still very flustered and very shaky. I places a grounding hand on his shoulder. “How are you feeling?” I asked, despite probably being the one who made him feel this way due to my earlier comment.

Kimi turned his head towards me and shrugged, murmuring out an “I don’t know…”

“Has Ollie said anything?” I prodded gently.

Kimi shook his head. “I think he hates me now…”

“I doubt that,” I said honestly. “He acts like he loves you. He really does.”

“Really? You think so?” Kimi squeaked out.

“Yeah!” I smiled. “But, maybe I’m not the best person to talk to about this. George would be better.” I gestured over to George Russell, who was listening intently to something Fernando was saying. “He’s kind of like a big brother figure to you, after all.”

Kimi nodded. “Yeah, he is,” He agreed. “Thanks for being so understanding, Lando.”

“Of course!” I released my grip on Kimi’s shoulder. “Thanks for talking to me.” I grinned at the rookie.

Chapter Text

I watched Lando talk to Kimi, his voice so gentle and his expression so soft. It made my heart flutter.

I looked down, fiddling with my hands as my brain spiraled with thoughts. I finally looked up and sighed for no specific reason. 

Without even looking over, I could feel Lando’s gaze on me. I kept my eyes on the wall across the room, but I murmured words to Lando. “Whatcha’ lookin’ at, Norris?” I teased.

I watched Lando out of the corner of my eye, his head snapping away at my words. 

I giggled and turned to fully face Lando. He was very flustered and very cute. I put my hand over my face as I smiled fondly, not wanting to give away my soft spot for my supposed enemy.

As I looked harder, I noticed that Lando didn’t only look flustered, he looked scared. Had I frightened him?

“Hey, Lando, are you okay?” My voice became gentle with concern.

Lando looked up at me, plastering a very obviously fake smile on his face. “Yeah, I’m fine!” He was unconvincing.

“Are you sure?” I didn’t want to pry too hard.

“Well—not exactly, but it’s nothing,” Lando’s voice trembled and he started to rub his arm.

I was a bit surprised at that answer. “Well, thanks for not completely hiding from me. If you do want to talk about it, I’m here.” I offered a comforting smile, giving him space.

Lando stopped rubbing his arm. “Thanks, I appreciate it,” He murmured, sounding almost relieved.

The breakfast dragged on, full of silly jokes and playful banter. It was quite comfortable, really. For that little while, I forgot about everything else. I’m still a bit disappointed I didn’t get to have breakfast with just Lando, but this was definitely fun.

Most of the drivers were finished or almost finished with their breakfasts, and I decided I was going to leave.

“Hey, guys, I think I’m gonna go now.” I stood up, stretching. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Lando staring at me, who quickly looked away when he realized I saw him.

“Yeah, me too.” Yuki got up, followed by murmurs of approval and the screeching of chairs being pushed in by most of the others.

I was heading back to the elevator, ready to take a nap besides doing practically nothing, when I heard hasty footsteps behind me. I stopped in my tracks and looked back. It was Lando. Of course it was Lando.

“Hey!” Lando slowed down when I paused, trying to act casual. His flustered face and nervous body language gave him away.

“Hey.” I began to move again, pressing the up button on the elevator as Lando caught up to me. Lando stood by my side as we both waited for the elevator.

It finally reached us, and went ping! as the doors opened. I entered, Lando following, as I clicked our floor number.

The doors closed, and the elevator started to ascend before I decided to open my mouth. “I’m sorry we couldn’t have breakfast together this morning.”

Lando looked almost surprised. “It’s fine,” He murmured. “I’m disappointed too, but just imagine what the others would’ve said…”

“Yeah…” I sighed. “But it wasn’t a date… right?” I looked over at Lando, almost nervously.

Lando stayed quiet, looking at his feet. I didn’t say anything either, just letting my words hang in the air.

We eventually made it to our floor, stepping out together.

As we walked down the hall, me and Lando’s footsteps synced, becoming a single rhythm of pat, pat, pat on the hotel carpet.

I swiped my keycard, holding open the door for Lando. “Ladies first,” I joked, trying to break the tension.

Lando didnt crack a smile. Instead, he just walked past without even glancing at me.

I sighed, entering the room and letting the door slam behind me. I flinched at the sound of the door shutting close.

I noticed Lando enter the bathroom, but paid no mind. That was, until he had been in there for at least 15 minutes.

I got up and walked silently towards the bathroom door, pressing my ear to the wood. 

I heard some shuffling for a moment, but I guess I breathed too loud because in moments, the noises stopped.

“Lando?” I asked hesitantly. I heard metal clank against the floor, and I tensed up. “What was that? Are you okay..?”

“Yeah, sorry mate,” Lando’s muffled voice came from behind the door. “I’ll be out in just a sec.”

“You don’t need to be sorry,” I began. “But what was that noise..? It sounded like… metal?”

Silence. Then: “I-it’s just a razor,” Lando squeaked. ”I was shaving. Mhm. Yep…” He was very unconvincing.

“But you’re not taking a shower?” I was very skeptical. “I didn’t hear any water.”

“No. I didn’t shower,” Lando admitted. “Why do you care, anyways?”

Great, we’re back to this stupid act of pretending we hate each other. “I don’t,” I grumbled, stomping away from the bathroom.

I flopped onto the bed, pulling out my phone. I scrolled through TikTok mindlessly, video after video.

Lando finally came out of the bathroom. I looked up. I shouldn’t have. Lando looked pale. Scared. And something else—something darker—that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

Before I could overthink it, I opened my mouth. “Are you okay?” I asked. I couldn’t help myself. Lando looked so… broken. I had to know what was going on.

“I’m fine.” Lando somehow got even paler when he noticed me looking up at him. I swear I saw tears well up in his eyes.

I sighed, looking back down to my phone. I wasn’t going to pry, but I couldn’t help but look up at him every few seconds, observing how he stiffly moved around the kitchenette. It was like if he moved too much, he’d break.

I sat up, wondering if I could help Lando in any way. I finally got up with a sigh, making my way over to the kitchenette.

As I approached, Lando stared at me like a scared animal. He backed up against the counter.

“Hey, I know there’s something going on.” I watched how Lando’s eyes flickered with fear, and I couldn’t help but get a bad feeling in my stomach.  “What’s wrong?” I asked gently.

“Why do you even care? It’s not like we’re friends or anything.” Lando glared at me, his eyes sparkling with pain and even anger.

That hit hard for some reason. “Fine, I was just trying to express a scrap of human decency for my teammate,” I huffed, crossing my arms. “But if you want to leave me alone, just say the word. Then I will.”

Lando simply stayed quiet, nervously fidgeting with his hands as he looked down.

“Fine.” I felt defeated, but I couldn’t let that show. “I’ll leave you alone for now, but if you do need someone to talk to, I’m here.” I left Lando with that simple offering as I turned around and headed back towards the bed.

Chapter Text

I had decided to take a nap, not really worrying about where Lando was.

Once I had woken up, I felt a presence beside me. I turned over, and my breath caught in my throat.

There was Lando, all peaceful and asleep. The blanket was tucked up around his shoulders, and his hands were curled up next to his neck.

Lando looked so utterly adorable like this. I absolutely loved the beautiful sight in front of me, but I couldn’t help but feel sad looking at him. I didn’t know why.

I began to tear up. I buried my face in my pillow. “Why do I feel like this?” I sobbed into the pillow. I was supposed to be an F1 driver… not some stupid mess who felt things for his teammate.

I shouldn’t be gay. And I especially shouldn’t have fallen for my teammate out of all people!

I felt Lando shift beside me. “Hey, Oscar, you okay?” He turned over to face me, poking my side.

I instantly looked up at him. “Yeah, sorry,” I murmured.

“Don’t be sorry, you were crying… so…” Lando brushed a stray lock of hair out of my face, and my breath hitched.

I stared at Lando for a moment, his hand still on my head. I saw the Brit retract his hand, a faint blush appearing on his face. He looked so cute like this.

I pulled back, sitting up. “Yeah, I’m fine…” I hesitated for a moment. “What time is it?”

Lando checked his watch. “3:17,” He murmured.

“We should probably get up,” I murmured, stretching my arms. I noticed Lando staring at me for a moment, but his gaze flickered back to his hands. I felt a warmth spread through me.

“Yeah.” Lando swung his legs over the edge of the bed, standing up.

I heard a screech from the hall, and me and Lando snapped our heads towards the door. “What the fuck was that?” I immediately got up, heading to the door.

Lando followed me out of the room, and we saw Kimi crying on the floor, trembling.

“What’s wrong?” I hurried over to the rookie, sitting down beside him. Lando sat down next to us, putting a comforting hand on Kimi’s shoulder.

“I-I was just going to a-ask Max something…” Kimi sniffled. “And he and Charles were—” Lando slapped his hand over Kimi’s mouth.

“Yeah…” Lando sighed. “Let’s just not…”

I immediately understood what Kimi had seen, and I looked at Max’s door. “You gotta knock…” I murmured awkwardly.

“I did!” Kimi screeched. “Those walls are incredibly thick!” He held his head in his hands.

“Yeah…” I sighed, fiddling with my hands as Lando rubbed Kimi’s back gently. “You would be very surprised how often that happens…” I rubbed the back of my neck.

Kimi looked up at me with wide, traumatized eyes. He let out a weak squeak before crawling away surprisingly fast, leaving me and Lando just sitting there on the floor.

I exchanged a glance with Lando. “Let’s go back to the room… I've had enough of… whatever that was for one day.”

Lando snickered. “Yeah, let’s go.” He stood up, walking to our door. He fiddled with the handle before looking at me. “You got the keycard?” He asked.

I got up, patting my pockets. “Fuck—! No… I left mine in the room,” I groaned, covering my face with my hands.

“Shit… me too,” Lando sighed. “Guess we have to go down to the lobby and get a new one.”

“Yeah… let’s go.” I headed down the hall towards the elevator, checking that Lando was following me. I pressed the ‘down’ button and patiently waited for it to arrive as Lando stood next to me.

The elevator eventually came, and we stepped in. Yuki was in there too, staring at us menacingly.

“Oh… umm… hey?” I asked awkwardly, pressing the main floor as the elevator doors shut.

Yuki blinked slowly. “What is your opinion on the LGBTQ+ community?”

“Wow— that was very… straightforward…” Lando looked around nervously.

“I-I mean…” I tried to think of a response that wasn’t: ‘I am the LGBTQ+ community’. “They’re just people, like the rest of us. We should respect who they are and who they do or don’t love…”

Lando nodded in agreement, obviously also at a loss for words.

For some reason, Yuki was writing this down in a papaya colored notebook with the label: ‘Landoscar journal’. I tried to ignore that and just hurried out of the elevator once it hit the ground floor, Lando following close behind.

“Well… that was weird…” Lando chuckled awkwardly.

“Yeah…” I nodded, heading towards the hotel front desk.

Me and Lando explained our dilemma to the receptionist, who told us she’d be back in a few minutes with a new card.

There was an awkward silence until Lando finally spoke up. “So…” He began, but trailed off.

“Yeah… Yuki’s weird…” I’m not sure if that’s what Lando was going to say, but I said it anyway.

By the look on Lando’s face he was gonna say something else, but regretted it and didn’t say anything.

I noticed Lando nervously fiddling with his hands, his face turned away from me.

I hated that we had to be this awkward, but I guess there’s nothing else we really can be. That's realistic, of course.

I was about to open my mouth, but then, the receptionist came out and handed us a card. “Don’t get locked out of your room again.” She winked.

“Thanks, we won’t.” I gave her a polite grin.

I reached out to grab the card, but so had Lando. We froze and looked at each other as our fingers brushed. “Y-you can get it,” I murmured awkwardly, my cheeks flushing.

“No, it’s fine,” Lando chuckled nervously. “You can take it.”

“N-no, I… it’s fine.” I noticed the receptionist still maintaining an awkward smile.

“O-okay…” Lando finally took the card. “Thanks.” Lando said again, and I noticed a blush on his face.

We both awkwardly walked back to the elevator. Once we got into it, I cleared my throat to break the silence. “So… umm… sorry about that…” I rubbed the back of my neck, glancing over at Lando.

“I-it’s good…” Lando shrugged. “At least we got the card,” He chuckled weakly.

I nodded, rubbing my arm. I awkwardly shifted on my feet as the elevator ascended.

The elevator reached our floor with a ding! and we awkwardly began to make our way down the hall.

Me and Lando paused in the middle of the hallway, witnessing Yuki screeching at a half-dressed Charles, standing outside of Max and Yuki’s hotel room.

I nudged Lando with my shoulder, giggling.

Lando nudged me back, returning a smile.

“What’s going on here?” I called to Yuki, who snapped his head around to look at us, fuming.

“This thing!” Yuki pointed at Charles. “WAS FUCKING MY GODDAMN TEAMMATE!” He screeched.

I bent over, laughing and clutching my stomach. “W-we know!” I gasped between laughs.

“They traumatized Kimi!” Lando was laughing too, smirking at Yuki.

“Thank god me and Max aren’t sharing the same bed!” Yuki scoffed, shoving a flustered and traumatized Charles aside.

I paused. “Oh.” I stopped laughing, glancing over at Lando. “Guess the world was against only us,” I murmured, shrugging.

“Oh,” Lando sighed, but it sounded half-hearted.

Charles then began to chuckle at us.

“What?” Lando raised an eyebrow.

“Ohh, Lando, Lando, Lando,” Charles sighed. He then perked up, looking at us with a dead stare and pointed. “Gay.”

“Wh-what?” I took a shocked step back. “Neither of us are gay! At least I’m not,” I scoffed, but I looked away.

“Me neither.” Lando shook his head.

Charles sighed, shaking his head as he walked past us.

I exchanged a glance with Lando, making a funny face to display my reaction to the situation.

Lando giggled at that. “You’re funny.” He gave me a small but genuine smile that made my heart flutter.

“Good.” I smiled, walking to our door.

Lando swiped the keycard in the door, letting me in first.

“Thanks.” I nodded to Lando, entering the room.

Lando entered behind me, shutting the door with a soft click.

“Should we do something today..?” I suggested. “It’s only 2PM.”

Lando shrugged, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I mean, I don’t want rumors circulating…”

“Hmm…” I looked down at my feet. “What were you actually doing in the bathroom?” I don’t know why I said it. I knew it was risky, but oh well.

Lando froze, his face going pale. “I told you. Shaving,” His voice cracked.

“No. No you weren’t.”

“Just… just drop it.” Lando got up, swiftly heading towards the door.

“I just want to know that you’re—” But Lando had already slammed the door behind him, stomping down the hall.

Chapter Text

I sat defeated on the bed, not knowing what to do. I knew something was wrong with Lando, I just didn’t know what.

I decided to look in the bathroom. Maybe there was something in there that would give me a clue on what was going on with Lando.

I looked everywhere. In the shower, the cupboards. Nothing. I even looked in the trash can. Nothing.

I sat on the floor, sighing. What was I to do now? Lando may be my enemy, but I still cared about him. Way too much, in fact, to consider him an enemy.

I walked back into the main room, flopping down on the bed. I opened my phone with no real motive for what I should do. Should I text someone? Search something up? I ended up doing nothing and putting my phone down.

I eventually left my room so the hotel staff could clean it, and I decided to just wander around.

The area around the hotel was nice and peaceful, and thankfully, I wasn’t crowded by fans. I met a few, which was nice, but I wasn’t drowning in them.

I was getting hungry, and decided to walk into this little pizza place. When I entered, I saw Lando sitting at a table in the corner. I cautiously made my way over there and sat down across from him.

“Hey,” I murmured.

Lando’s gaze flicked up to me. “Hey,” He murmured back.

“I’m sorry for prying earlier, I was just… worried.” I looked down at my hands on the table.

“It’s fine.” Lando propped his chin up on his fist.

We both stayed silent for a moment, until Lando sighed and spoke again. “Why do you care?” He leaned back in this chair, crossing his arms.

“I—” But Lando kept talking.

“I’m your rival.” Lando pointed out. “Your enemy. And just because we got stuck in that stupid hotel bed doesn’t mean that immediately changes.”

I looked at Lando thoughtfully. “I don’t hate you, Lando.”

“I don’t hate you either, Oscar.”

“Then what is this?” I gestured vaguely with my hands to him then me.

“Us?” Lando leaned into the table.

“Us.” I repeated.

“…I don’t know.” Lando admitted. “We’re not enemies, I guess… so..?”

I sighed. “I don’t know either.”

“Acquaintances?” Lando suggested. “Friends?”

“Something like that…” I murmured.

We stayed silent for a long few minutes. Stealing glances at each other, opening mouths with nothing coming out, and a weird, heavy feeling hanging in the air.

Finally, Lando spoke up. “Do you think about me?”

“Like, at all?” I asked.

“N-no… like…” Lando trailed off. “Uh, yeah, I guess.” He shrugged.

“I mean, yeah, of course I do.” I looked at Lando’s eyes, which were pointed towards the desk. “Do you think about me?”

“Yeah.”

“We should probably go back to the hotel.” I stood up.

“Yeah,” Lando agreed, following me out of the restaurant.

We began to walk towards the hotel, but after a minute Lando stopped.

“Is there anything wrong?” I stopped too, turning to face Lando, who was blushing slightly.

“W-would you want to l-like… uhh…” Lando stuttered, looking away nervously and inhaling through his teeth before fixing his eyes back on me. “Maybe get dinner sometime?” He asked, voice cracking.

“L-like a date?” I squeaked, my own face flushing.

“I-I don’t know…” Lando looked down at his feet, then up at me. “Maybe? If you want it to be?”

“O-okay. Th-that sounds nice.” I looked away, hiding a shy smile.

I peeked back to see Lando giving me a goofy smile, and I giggled. Lando giggled too, and we could barely make eye contact.

The rest of the way back to the hotel felt almost… lighter, somehow.

I had a feeling that maybe, just maybe, this could turn into something good.

Chapter Text

When we got back to the hotel, I sat on the bed and checked my phone, still giddy about the date.

“Hey, the others invited us to dinner,” My voice trembled with excitement, but I tried to hide it. I looked over at Lando, who was sitting beside me.

“I’m not hungry,” Lando yawned, leaning back into the pillows, a blush on his cute little face.

“D’ya eat at the pizza place?” I asked.

“Nah.” Lando shrugged.

I thought back to earlier that day, at breakfast. “Hey, you didn't eat much at breakfast, either. I really think you should eat at least something.”

“I’m not hungry.” Lando looked a little tense at the suggestion of food.

“Okay, but take care of yourself, yeah?” I stood up and made my way to the door, glancing back at Lando to make sure he heard me. Lando gave me a small nod, which was enough for now.

I made my way downstairs, meeting the other drivers in the hotel cafeteria.

I sat down between Lewis and an empty seat, scanning the other drivers. I looked over at the chair beside me where Lando would’ve been.

“Hey, is Lando coming?” Lewis asked.

“No, said he’s not hungry.” I shrugged.

“He didn’t eat much at breakfast…” Lewis mentioned.

“Yeah, I know,” I sighed. “I tried to tell him to eat something, but he insisted he’s not hungry.”

Lewis nodded thoughtfully. “This has been a problem for a while, since before you came to F1.”

“Lando not eating?” I asked worriedly.

“Yeah.” Lewis nodded. “Have you not noticed how skinny he is?” Lewis looked over at me.

“I thought it was just because he works out a lot and stuff,” I murmured.

“Not just that.” Lewis’s shoulders slumped. “He doesn’t eat that much. It’s become a problem.”

“What are you suggesting?” My expression softened into worry.

“I think Lando might have an eating disorder.” Lewis’s eyes shone with concern.

That hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t want to imagine Lando hurting like that, but I guess it was reality. “Oh…” I murmured shakily. “Is there anything I can do to help him?” I looked up at Lewis with desperation.

“I’m no doctor.” Lewis shrugged sadly. “But, I think he needs someone to help and support him and encourage him to eat. Someone he really cares about.”

“Oh…” I thought of who that could be.

“I’m talking about you, Oscar.” Lewis put a hand on my shoulder.

“Wh-what?” I chuckled in disbelief. “He can’t care about me that much. I mean, we’re enemies for god's sake!” I said, even though it wasn’t really true regarding our talk earlier in the day.

“Lando cares about you more than you know.” Lewis gave me a soft smile. “He may not show it around you, but he really does care.”

I looked down at my hands in my lap, biting my lip in thought. “He’ll get frustrated at me if I try to help.” I met Lewis’s gaze.

“That’s because he probably doesn’t want to get better.” Lewis pointed out.

“But why not? I mean, it must be so hard to have a disorder..?”

“Yes, but problems like that can be kind of like… a routine thing.” Lewis furrowed his brow in thought. “A bad habit, of sorts, that's hard to break out of.”

“Then how can I help him break out of it?” I asked hopefully.

“You need to be very gentle. Start small. Even just a chip. Celebrate every tiny victory, even if it’s just saying ‘I’m hungry’.” Lewis took his hand off my shoulder. “Baby steps.”

I soaked in Lewis’s words, nodding slowly. “Okay, thanks, Lewis. I’ll try to help Lando.”

Lewis gave me a reassuring smile before turning to talk to whoever was next to him.

I looked down at my hands, and noticed they were trembling slightly. I felt a pressure build up behind my eyes but I didn’t know why. “Umm, I’ll be right back.” My voice trembled slightly as I stood up, the chair screeching against the floor.

I hurried to the bathroom, making sure no one was in the stalls, before I started crying. Hot tears spilt down my face as I leaned on the counter. “Wh-why am I crying?” I looked up at the mirror, and my own red face looked back at me, tears running down it.

“I mean, I know I care about Lando,” I murmured to no one. “But not this much, right?” I let out a weak, joyless chuckle.

“Of course anyone would be sad if someone they knew had an ED… but would they cry?” I asked the rhetorical question to the empty bathroom.

“I mean, Lando’s great and all,” I sighed, silent tears ran down my face. “Sure, he’s smart, kind, funny, caring, sweet, pretty… beautiful…” I snapped out of my trance, looking up in the mirror.

“Fuck, what did I just say?” I leaned against the sink. “I mean, just because I said all those things doesn't mean I’m…” I trailed off, sighing.

Then the realization hit me.

“I’m in love with Lando Norris.”

Chapter Text

I splashed cold water on my face. “Good god, I’m insane,” I groaned, burying my face in my hands. “I just said that out loud… and it’s true.”

“I mean, I knew there was something…” I murmured. “I just didn't fully notice it until now…”

“God, what am I gonna do?” I lightly hit the sides of my head with my fists, as if trying to force an idea out of my brain.

“And, wait, I’m going on a date with him!” I realized, stiffening.

“I’m going to be so awkward,” I groaned, burying my face in my hands.

I heard the door open, and I snapped my head around to see Yuki standing at the door.

Yuki appeared like he was about to say something teasing, but that look dropped when he saw my tear-stained face and trembling body. “So, did your mom die or did you have a gay awakening?” He asked softly.

I stared at Yuki, a sad chuckle escaping me. “Oh, god…” I buried my face in my hands, groaning.

I peeked up at Yuki. “You won’t tell, right?” I asked with a shaky breath.

“Depends on how good the slowburn is.” Yuki shrugged.

“Wh-what?” I looked at him, confused.

“Anyways, please step aside.” Yuki stepped toward the sinks. “I’m creating death as we know it.” He pulled multiple bottles and cups from seemingly nowhere.

“O-oh?” I giggled a bit, stepping to the side as Yuki began to do whatever Yuki does. I was going to leave the bathroom, not wanting to get caught up in Yuki’s chaos, when he stopped me.

“Oscar?” Yuki stared at me, his gaze boring into my soul.

“Uh, yeah?” I turned around to meet his eyes.

“Were you really only crying because you finally realized you like Lando?” The question caught me off-guard.

“Well, technically,” I let out a weak chuckle. “I care about him a lot, and I just want him to be okay… so, I guess?” Not wanting to engage in the conversation further, I quickly stepped out of the bathroom.

I barely talked to Lando for the rest of the day, not like it was hard, because he was mostly avoiding me too.

But everything felt… harder. Every time I saw Lando, my stomach would twist. Now fully knowing that I loved him, it was harder to be in his presence. I felt a strange mix of love and sadness, and I didn’t know what to do with it.

At night, when me and Lando got in bed, he shifted closer than usual. “L-Lando?” I squeaked.

Lando said nothing, closing his eyes.

“Aww, does someone want cuddles?” I teased, risking it and wrapping my arms around Lando, suspecting he’d pull away. 

Lando didn’t. He stayed.

“Lando?” I whispered.

I got no answer.

I stiffened, but immediately softened when I felt Lando melt into my arms. “O-oh,” My breath was a shaky breath.

“Goodnight,” Lando murmured.

“G-goodnight?” I murmured, face so red I swear Lando could see it glowing, even in the dim light.

I swear Lando shuffled closer to me, but it was so slight I couldn’t tell.

”D-do you want me to h-hold you?” I murmured hesitantly, my face flushing a deeper color of red.

“Do you want to hold me?” Lando asked back, his eyes glowing in the dim light.

I didn’t say a word, only pulled Lando closer to me. Lando’s face nuzzled into the crook of my neck, and I swear the world stopped spinning.

I buried my face in Lando’s soft hair, desperately trying to hide my red face.

I felt Lando’s hands clutch at the hem of my shirt, and I let out a strangled squeak.

“Do you not like that?” Lando peeked up at me.

“N-no, it’s fine… just caught me by surprise…” I murmured, face on fire.

I felt Lando’s breathing slow against me as he drifted into sleep.

I closed my own eyes, thoughts completely consumed by the boy I was holding.

Chapter Text

I slept peacefully that night, Lando all curled up in my arms. When morning finally came, I was the first to wake. Lando was still sleeping, his face buried in my chest. Totally platonic. Yep.

I knew that this probably meant nothing, and Lando was just tired, but I so desperately hoped this meant something more.

I gently stroked Lando’s hair, careful not to wake him.

The early morning sunlight filtered through the blinds, casting pale stripes along the blanket and Lando’s face. It illuminated his features just enough to make my breath catch.

I stayed like that for a while, just observing Lando and playing with his hair.

I eventually felt him stir, but I didn’t pull back. Lando’s eyes opened to meet mine, sleepiness shining in them.

“Morning, sunshine,” I teased gently, rubbing his neck.

“Wh-what happened last night?” Lando murmured.

The question brought a sparkle of amusement to my eyes. “You let me hold you. I think you wanted me to. Nothing too scandalous.”

Lando let out a weak chuckle, melting further into his pillow. “So, we're going to get dinner tonight?”

I suddenly remembered the date, my face flushing red. “Y-yes!”

“Where to?” Lando murmured.

“I think there’s this little sushi restaurant near here.” I knew Lando hated sushi, and that’s why I said it.

“Ugh, you suck.” Lando rolled his eyes, but nuzzled into my chest.

My breath caught again, and I froze for a moment before wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him closer. “Okay, fine. There’s a nice restaurant around here, I think. Sound good?”

Lando nodded against my chest, closing his eyes again.

“Sleepy?” I murmured, playing with his hair again. 

“Not really, to be honest,” Lando murmured. “Just comfy.”

My heart fluttered and the words, my face softening into a fond and flustered smile. “Good. Stay as long as you’d like.”

I felt Lando begin to fall back to sleep, and I did too, shutting my eyes once more.

Soon, I fell into a dream.

I was walking down the hotel hallway, going back to my room.

I opened the door, and froze. I saw Lando, hanging from the ceiling with a rope around his neck, a chair kicked on its side on the carpet.

I let out a helpless scream, falling to my knees. I sobbed uncontrollably, my whole entire body shaking.

“No no no! Lando!” I wailed. “You can’t leave me! Not like this!”

I felt completely and utterly powerless in the situation, with the love of my life dead before me.

I could’ve done something! I should’ve done something! My mind spiraled. I failed him! He’s dead and it’s all my fault!

I looked back up at the hanging Lando, another guttural scream tearing from my throat.

I wanted to die, my whole entire body aching with grief and regret.

I should've known. I should’ve stopped him.

Every fiber of my body trembled as I cried, hands clutching at my hair.

I couldn’t live without Lando. My beautiful, wonderful, sweet, awesome Lando.

I don’t know how, but I felt myself dying. Darkness pricked at the edges of my vision, clouding my gaze until I couldn’t see anymore. Panic and grief flooded my senses as I collapsed to the ground, everything going black.

Chapter Text

“Oscar! Oscar!” The sound came from seemingly nowhere, but I felt my body being shaken.

I opened my eyes, and saw Lando’s face in front of mine, worry and confusion morphing his features. “Oscar?” He asked, voice softer now.

“Oh, oh god.” I wrapped my arms around Lando’s neck, pulling him close to me. “It was just a dream, it was just a dream.” I repeated, voice trembling as I rested my chin on Lando’s shoulder.

“What happened?” Lando murmured, hugging my shoulders.

“I-I had a bad dream.” I choked out, just noticing the hot tears that had been spilling down my cheeks.

“About what?” Lando asked, pulling back a bit to look into my red, puffy eyes.

“I-I walked into our hotel room,” My voice trembled. “A-and I saw y-you… b-but you had hung yourself,” I sobbed harder.

“Oh, no.” Lando looked at me sympathetically, lying down again and pulling me into his arms.

I nuzzled into him, body shaking violently with my sobs. “A-and I felt so helpless… I couldn’t do anything…”

“Shh, shh.” Lando rubbed my back soothingly. “It’s okay. It wasn’t real,” He murmured into my ear.

“But it felt real!” I wailed. “It looked real. I couldn’t breathe. I-I-”

Lando cut me off with a kiss on the cheek. “But it wasn’t real,” He growled against my skin, almost like a command.

I whimpered at the kiss and the  tone in Lando’s voice. “O-okay. Y-yes sir…” I don’t know why I had said ‘sir’ and immediately regretted it.

Lando’s face grew hot at my words. “You don’t need to call me that. You just need to know that it didn’t happen. I’m not dead.” He assured me.

I melted into Lando, face tired and aching from crying.

Lando held me tightly against him for a long few moments. “Wanna go take a bath? That might make you feel better.”

I froze. “Oh-uhh, with you?” I squeaked out, even though I knew it was a dumb question.

“No.” Lando tensed up. “J-just thought it might be comfortable…”

“O-oh,” I let out a sigh, and I wasn’t sure if it was of relief or disappointment. “Umm, yeah. I think that’d be nice.”

“I'll warm the water for you.” Lando stood up, stretching before making his way to the bathroom.

I watched Lando go, pulling the blankets tighter around me. I was overthinking everything that happened, especially that little cheek kiss.

I heard the bath water begin to run, and Lando emerged from the bathroom a moment later. “Go get in the bath, I’ll get you some clothes for when you get out.”

“O-okay.” I got out of bed, making my way over to the bathroom nervously. I watched the tub fill for a moment before Lando came in and placed some clothes on the closed toilet seat.

“Thanks, Lando… this means a lot.” I smiled weakly.

“You deserve it.” Lando returned the smile before backing out of the bathroom and clicking the door shut.

I felt my face heat up, and I just stared at the spot where Lando had been just a moment ago.

After a few seconds, I took off my clothes, climbing into the tub. I let the warm water lap over my body.

The simple gesture made me all warm and fuzzy, something the warmth of the water had nothing to do with.

I began to wash my hair, but my thoughts were completely consumed by Lando and everything that had just happened.

I continued to scrub my hair and body, but I was barely conscious of what I was doing physically. My brain was a confusing jumble of emotions and feelings.

Every thought screamed Lando, Lando, Lando.

I finally got clean, and began to drain the bathtub.

Lando knocked on the door. “You done?”

“Mhm.” I climbed out, wrapping a towel around me. “You can come in.”

“Do you want food?” Lando stepped in, his face flushing at the sight of my wet body wrapped up in a towel.

“I’ll eat only if you promise to eat at least something.” I looked up at Lando, remembering Lewis’s instructions about small steps.

“Hmm, fine.” Lando narrowed his eyes a bit, but he didn’t look too mad.

“Good.” I gave a small smile of reassurance.

Lando just began to back out of the room. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with food.”

I dried myself off before reaching for the clothes Lando had brought me. My boxers, pants, a shirt, and… Lando’s hoodie?

My breath caught slightly, knowing that couldn’t have been an accident, but I put on the clothes anyway.

I pulled the hoodie over my head, the warmth hugging me and the scent that was unmistakably Lando filling my nostrils.

I sat down on the bed, patiently waiting for Lando to come back.

Chapter Text

I made my way down to the restaurant, the other drivers already down there.

“Where’s Oscar?” Isack asked.

“Upstairs,” I murmured, making my way to the buffet to get some food.

The others gave me skeptical glances as I piled all of Oscar’s favorite foods onto the plate.

I begrudgingly got some food of my own before heading back up to the room, opening the door to see Oscar sitting on the bed in my hoodie. The sight of Oscar wearing my clothing sent a strange shock of giddiness through me.

“Hey.” I gave Oscar a small smile, the door shutting behind me as I made my way over to the bed.

“Hey,” Oscar murmured, returning the smile as I sat down beside him.

I placed the tray between us. “Got all your favorites.”

“You remembered.” Oscar gave me a happy little smile that made my heart flutter.

I picked at the food, trying my best to eat. I was starving, I just… couldn’t…

I was looking down at the food uninterested, until I felt something being pressed to my lips.

Oscar was holding a fork to my mouth with some pancake on it.

I smiled and took the bite. “Thanks.”

“Of course.” Oscar pulled the fork out of my mouth. “I feel like I have to take care of you now.”

“I wouldn’t mind that.” I admitted.

Oscar looked at me surprised, but his face melted into a soft expression. “Me neither.”

We both ate in silence, occasionally stealing glances at one another.

I could tell from the way Oscar looked at me that I looked disgusted while I ate.

“S-so… later tonight,” Oscar muttered.

“Our… date?” I squeaked out the word, face going red.

I saw Oscar’s own blush spread across his cheeks. “Yeah.” He gave me a sheepish grin, looking up at me.

“Wh-where are we going again?” I asked.

“You’ll see.” Oscar reached out to brush a crumb from my cheek with his thumb.

I froze, but melted into his touch. “Th-thanks.”

Oscar’s hand stayed on my face, his gaze boring into mine. “You ate all of your food.”

I nodded, guilt gnawing at me as I looked at the empty plate, but also a small flicker of joy that I’d pleased Oscar. “For you.”

Oscar’s eyes narrowed slightly. “And someday, you’ll do it for you, too.”

I sincerely doubted that, but I offered a smile of comfort to Oscar.

Oscar’s hand stayed pressed against my face, his thumb now rubbing my cheekbone. My hand moved up to cover his. Not to push away, but to say without speaking: stay.

Oscar’s hand slid down and around my neck, his fingers tangling in my hair. He leaned closer, and—

BANG!

I flinched back, looking to the window where the loud noise had come from.

I saw a pigeon splayed across the window, limbs twitching. “Birdy!” I shot up, rushing to the kitchenette to grab some paper towels, the almost-kiss momentarily forgotten.

Oscar watched me as I moved to the window, gently opening it and looking down at the bird which had fallen on the windowsill.

I wrapped it in the paper towel, bringing it inside to the table.

Oscar walked over to me, shoulder brushing mine as we examined the pigeon. “Poor little guy…” Oscar murmured.

“I’ve taken care of birds before.” I looked up at Oscar eagerly. “I can help this one.”

Oscar looked down at the bird, then up at me again. “Well we’re not prepared.” He pointed out. “I think we need to get him proper care.”

My face dropped, but Oscar was right. “Fine… but at least let me get him some water.” Oscar nodded, and I hurried to the cupboards to grab a shallow bowl, turning on the tap and filling it up with water.

I made sure no water sloshed out as I brought it over to the table. I placed it down next to the bird, adjusting it through the paper towel so it could drink.

It made a little cooing sound, and I clasped my hands together. “Aww.” I smiled. “I want to keep him!”

“I know.” Oscar’s hand landed on my back, which I quickly leaned into. “But we can’t. I’m sorry, Lando.”

I huffed, even though I knew the answer was inevitable.

“I’m going to make it a nest.” I grabbed a larger bowl, stuffing some paper towels in it. I tugged too hard on the paper towels, and—

Clink!

I scrambled to cover up the blade with my hand, face going pale as I clutched it in my hand.

I immediately heard Oscar walk over to me. “What was that?” He asked.

“One of the little bolts on the paper towel holder came undone.” The words came out quick. Too quick.

Oscar held out my hand, unclenching my fist and looking at my palm, but I had already slipped the blade out of sight between two of my fingers.

I chewed on my lip nervously before Oscar let go, and took the opportunity to stuff the blade in my pocket.

I grabbed the paper towels once more, tearing them up to make them fluffy and dropping them in the bowl.

I brought the makeshift nest over to the pigeon, placing it in gently with the water next to its head.

“Is there an animal shelter nearby?” I looked up at Oscar.

He shrugged. “Probably. We should get ready first before taking the little guy there.” Oscar gestured to the bird.

I nodded. “Okay, yeah…” I glanced over at Oscar. “I have a feeling today’s going to be an interesting day.”

Chapter Text

Me and Oscar got ready for the day, almost in sync, before we had to change. I let Oscar use the bathroom to change first while I watched the bird, which was frantically cooing.

Oscar walked out of the bathroom, and my eyes immediately snapped to him. He was wearing simple but cute jeans, and my hoodie.

MY. HOODIE.

And he looked fucking stunning in it.

”Y-you look nice,” I muttered, a blush spreading across my face. I was surprised to see Oscar’s own face flushing pink.

”Th-thanks.” Oscar’s lips twitched up in a goofy little smile that made my heart melt.

I moved to the bathroom to put on my clothes, eyes shut so I wouldn’t have to look at my own body. And it wasn’t just the scars and fresh cuts, it was… everything.

Eventually, I blindly finished tugged on my clothes and headed out of the bathroom.

Oscar smiled at me then walked over, slipping one of his hoodies over my head. “Thought I could return the favor.”

My face went red at the gesture, Oscar’s fingers grazing my hips. I buried my face in the hoodie, half to hide my blush, half to inhale his scent. “Th-thanks,” I sputtered.

“Of course.” Oscar took a step back, still grinning like he’d won the lottery.

“What should we name the bird?” I immediately regretted the words.

Oscar’s gaze was fond. “Don’t get too attached, yeah?”

“Too late!” I shot Oscar a playful glare, who just rolled his eyes affectionately.

“Ugh, fine.” Oscar walked over to the table where the bird rested in its bowl. “I mean, it’s loud and cute, so Lando?” He teased.

My face went red. “Weirdo…” I murmured, standing beside Oscar.

“Let’s head to the animal hospital now, yeah?” He suggested.

I nodded, grabbing the bowl. The pigeon cooed frantically, and I tried to calm it down. “Shh, shh, it’s okay.”

“Is the pigeon your child now?” Oscar leaned closer. “You sound like a parent.”

“Well then you’re the other parent!” I huffed.

Oscar giggled. “Y’know, pigeons mate for life.”

That brought a blush to my face. “Well then, let’s take care of our child, my one and only pigeon love.”

Oscar rolled his eyes as we headed out the door and into the hall.

We ignored Max and Charles making out against the wall, as we always did, and made our way to the elevator.

I clicked the button for the main floor, the elevator doors closing shut.

I held the pigeon’s makeshift nest in my hands, gazing down at it as its wings fluttered helplessly.

Oscar leaned closer, breath hot on my neck. “Poor little birdy…” He murmured.

I nodded, the doors opening.

Me and Oscar walked through the lobby, the automatic doors parting for us as we approached.

“Uber?” I looked up at Oscar, who simply nodded in agreement.

I pulled out my phone, balancing the bowl in my other arm. “Looks like the closest Uber will be a few minutes…” I muttered.

“Great…” Oscar sighed.

Time to sit in awkward silence for 10 minutes next to the person I’m supposed to go on a date with later…