Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

y/n wasn't even planning to stop. she and her friends were just cutting through the shopping district after dinner, talking too loud and moving too slow, the kind of pace you only take when no one's in a hurry to go home. the air still smelled faintly of tteokbokki and car exhaust. seoul buzzed around them, neon signs blinking overhead, late night shoppers, couples sharing earphones, delivery scooters weaving past them like they owned the sidewalk.

"okay but seriously," y/n said, stuffing her hands deeper into her jacket pockets, "if soojin takes any more food pics, i'm reporting her to the internet police."

"it was one photo!" soojin shot back, already mid scroll. "and it was aesthetic."

"you put a filter on it that made the rice cakes look gray."

"moody!" soojin defended while hana cackled.

y/n rolled her eyes but smiled to herself. nights like these were her favorite. no pressure, just noise, laughter, the world moving fast while they walked slow. she wasn't even thinking about idols or music or anything remotely exciting.

until hana stopped walking.

"wait... do you hear that?"

y/n paused. in the distance, there was music. not the usual store speakers or cafe playlists, but something louder.

people were starting to gather a little further down the block, their heads tilted toward something just out of sight.

"is that... a live performance?" soojin asked.

they followed the crowd, curiosity leading the way. and then the music hit harder, thumping through the pavement like a second heartbeat. a street performance, definitely but it didn't feel like any they'd seen before.

when they reached the edge of the crowd, y/n had to stand on her tiptoes to get a clear view.

then she saw them.

five boys in bright outfits under led rig lights. their formation was perfect, too perfect. not rookie messy or dance school stiff. fluid and controlled. every move snapped into place like they'd practiced for centuries. like muscle memory didn't even require a brain.

but it wasn't just the dance. it was the presence. the air around them bent different. it felt bigger.

and then there was the one in the middle.

y/n didn't know his name yet. but he made it impossible to look anywhere else.

he smiled like he meant it, easy, slow, just cocky enough to be dangerous. every move was deliberate, every glance engineered to make someone in the crowd feel chosen. worshipped. when he looked at a fan, it was like he was naming them special. like they mattered. like they were the only one who did.

his voice wrapped around the lyrics like silk, playful and sweet, dripping saccharine charm. but behind the sugar, there was something else. something sharp. like he was feeding them poison through a kiss.

"you're my soda pop... my little soda pop..."

the lyrics were dumb. the kind of lines that would sound embarrassing coming from anyone else. but from him? they melted into the beat, effortless and smooth. you could barely hear the hook over the sound of the crowd screaming.

y/n blinked. for a second, she forgot where she was.

this wasn't like the fancams or tiktoks she scrolled past at 2 a.m. it wasn't like those overly rehearsed music shows where the idols winked too hard and the backup dancers looked more tired than impressed.

this was something else.

that guy in the center, jinu, he wasn't trying to be adored. he already knew he was. he moved like someone who was used to worship, like he was offering his gaze as a gift. and the crowd were eating it up like it was salvation.

"okay, who the hell are they?" y/n asked, leaning toward hana.

"saja boys," hana said, already pulling them up on her phone. "they came out of nowhere. new label. weirdly no backstory. it's like they just appeared."

y/n squinted. "figures. Iid remember that one."

she meant jinu. obviously.

he turned his head mid chorus. slow, purposeful. and locked eyes with someone in the crowd. her? maybe. probably not. didn't matter. whoever it was, they visibly gasped.

y/n exhaled through her nose, lips parted slightly.

she wasn't into idols. not like that.

but something about him stuck. clung to her. it wasn't just the looks, though yeah, obviously, that didn't hurt. it was the performance. it was calculated and seductive. like a trap disguised as candy. he didn't just perform. he devoured the attention. he made it look like breathing. after the performance, the boys vanished as quickly as they came. just one perfect performance and a sea of stunned faces left behind.

y/n didn't say much on the walk back. she kept playing the song in her head on loop, more than she meant to. that was weird. she wasn't the type to obsess over idols. but something about him stuck with her.

it wasn't just that he was good looking. plenty of idols were.

it was something more. something she couldnt quite put her finger on. maybe the way he made her feel like the room bent around him. like he could reach through the crowd, pluck someone out, and they'd go willingly. 

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

after she got home early evening, and before hana and soojin were supposed to come over, her phone buzzed with group chat notifications while she got all the snacks ready.

soojin: 

y/n you were acting like you didn't care but u were EATING HIM UP

hana: 

girl I saw you staring

y/n: 

i was observing with a neutral expression

soojin: 

neutral my ass. you looked like u were gonna faint

y/n: 

it's called having a functioning set of eyes

hana: 

okay but real question. who's your bias

y/n: 

i don't have one

soojin: 

LMAOOO

hana: 

right bc that stare you gave jinu was just for funsies???

y/n: 

it was academic.

soojin: 

say it rn or we're making you do the break the ice challenge

y/n: 

im not picking a bias

hana: 

say it or we post the vid of you almost choking on your bubble tea

y/n: 

...

fine. 

if I HAD to choose one

the center guy 

jinu

but not like that

he's just interesting.

soojin: 

NOT LIKE THAT????

hana: 

she's gone. she's in too deep

later that night the three of them were crammed into y/n's bedroom, legs tangled over pillows and blankets, surrounded by half empty chip bags, empty cans of chilsung cider, and the faint hum of her tiny desk fan spinning in the corner.

her led lights glowed soft pink against the posters on her wall, mostly girl groups and movie prints, and someone's phone kept buzzing every few minutes with new notifications. the air smelled like honey butter chips and peach soda. everything felt warm and sleepy but their minds were still racing from what they saw earlier.

the saja boys' street performance was already everywhere. fancams had flooded tiktok within the hour. y/n watched one in silence, a slowed down clip of jinu turning his head just slightly during the chorus. that's all he did. tilt his head a little. but the way the light caught his jawline made the entire comment section lose its collective mind.

"he's not real"

"i'm going to scream"

"who gave him the right to look like that?"

y/n blinked, locked her phone for a second, then opened it again just to rewatch the moment. stupid.

"i swear to god," soojin mumbled suddenly, her voice muffled into y/n's throw pillow. "he looked right at me."

y/n blinked up at the ceiling, letting the sentence hang in the warm, low lit air between them.

hana didn't even glance up from her phone. "okay, no," she said flatly. "he didn't blink once. ive watched like eight fancams already. i think he might be ai."

soojin let out an offended sound. "you're just mad he didn't look at you."

"im mad because that's not how eye contact works," hana snapped. "half the girls in the comments are saying the same thing. he probably just picks a point in the crowd and sticks to it. it's all calculated. optics. like a sniper but with his jawline."

y/n let out a quiet laugh, barely a breath. "a sniper with his jawline" was a strangely accurate image.

she didn't say anything else, though. just rolled onto her side and tucked her cheek into the pillow.

the performance was still replaying in her mind. not just the dance or the song, but the way he performed. there was a specific moment, one blink and you miss it part during the second chorus, where the camera caught him mid turn, his hand brushing through his hair as he grinned, slow and effortless. like he knew the whole world was looking at him. like he liked it.

her brain kept rewinding to that part. like her thoughts had gotten snagged on it, like a sweater thread caught on a nail.

she hated that.

she hated that it worked.

she reached for her soda can and took a sip, even though it had gone flat. "he's good," she said under her breath, mostly to herself.

soojin rolled onto her back. "good? that man is a menace."

y/n didn't mean to say it out loud. she really didn't.

but the words left her before she could second guess them.

"i could make him fall for me," she said casually, brushing hair from her face like she hadn't just launched a grenade into the room.

silence.

like real silence.

then both heads whipped toward her so fast it made the comforter shift.

"excuse me?" hana blinked, sitting up halfway.

y/n shrugged, playing it off. "jinu," she said, like it was obvious. "i could do it. if i actually tried."

soojin narrowed her eyes like she was trying to detect sarcasm. "i know we've had a lot of sugar tonight," she said slowly, "but are you actually out of your mind?"

"im just saying-"

"no, no," Hana cut in, pointing a hand at her. "you just said you could make jinu fall in love with you."

"not love," y/n corrected. "just, like... fall. a little. emotionally trip."

soojin sat straight up now, her expression somewhere between horror and fascination. "Girl, he would probably rather file someone's taxes than date them."

"exactly," y/n said, her tone completely unbothered. "he probably hasn't had a real conversation with a girl who wasn't trying to climb him like a jungle gym since, like, 2019. if someone just... talked to him? like a normal person? treated him like a guy and not a god? he'd short circuit."

"y/n," hana said slowly, like she was trying not to laugh, "you're being so serious right now."

y/n stretched her legs out on the mattress, toes brushing the wall. "i am serious."

soojin stared at her like she'd grown a second head. "you're actually gonna do the break the ice challenge, aren't you?"

"it was your idea," y/n reminded her, voice light.

"i didn't think you'd take it personally!" soojin yelled, grabbing a pillow and launching it in her direction.

y/n ducked without flinching.

"im just saying," she continued once the pillow bounced harmlessly off her arm. "they basically dropped out of the sky and instantly blew up. no interviews, no background, no pre debut content. nothing. It's like they came out of nowhere already perfect. no one knows who they actually are."

she sat up a little, absently twisting a strand of hair around her finger. "think about it. every time someone will see jinu, it's through a screen. stage footage, tiktoks, filtered edits with sparkles and slomo. that's not real. that's... curated. y'know? the internet already treats him like a god. so what happens when he meets someone who doesn't?"

"you think that's gonna be you?" hana asked, skeptical but also intrigued.

y/n didn't answer right away.

the truth was, she hadn't thought this far. not seriously. not past the part where she'd maybe say hi if they passed in a hallway. but now that she was talking, now that the words were out there, the idea was growing.

fast.

and for some reason, her pulse wasn't racing. it wasn't nerves, wasn't adrenaline. it was just this weird steadiness in her chest, like her body was already convinced.

"i don't want anything from him," she said finally, softer now. "not like everyone else does. im not trying to get noticed or followed back or whatever. i don't want him to give me a signed album or whisper my name on live. i just want to... see what happens. see if he's real underneath all that."

there was a pause.

then soojin made a strangled noise. "girl. you want his soul."

y/n smirked, turning her face into the blanket. "just his attention. for fun."

"uh huh," Hana muttered. "for fun. until you accidentally make him fall in love with you and then you fall in love and then he gets drafted into the military and disappears for two years and you end up writing cryptic captions on Instagram like, 'if you know, you know.'"

y/n laughed for real that time.

"god," soojin groaned, flopping back dramatically. "you're gonna ruin your life. i feel it."

"maybe," y/n said, voice light as air.

but her smile lingered.

she flopped back onto the mattress again, staring up at the ceiling. the light from her phone blinked once from across the room, casting a soft glow against the wall before fading again.

the girls kept talking, but y/n let the sounds fade out. something in her stirred. not hope. just curiosity.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

the next time y/n saw jinu in person, it was... technically a coincidence.

kind of.

her cousin's best friend, chaerin, or maybe chaeyoung, she could never remember, worked part time in stage setup for idol showcases, mostly smaller venues in hongdae and itaewon. that night, y/n had been roped into dropping off a camera battery. apparently, some frantic lighting tech had left it at her cousin's place, and now she was the designated delivery girl because she happened to be "in the area" (she wasn't).

her plan was simple: run it inside, hand it off, and peace out before anyone made eye contact. she was already planning which convenience store to stop at for her favorite drink on the way home.

what she didn't expect was to round the back corner of the venue, shortcut, she told herself, and freeze.

because there he was.

jinu.

leaning against the brick wall like he didn't just hijack the entire internet 48 hours ago with a mic flip and a wink. hoodie up. shoulders slouched. hands deep in his coat pockets. he looked like every cool guy in a drama right before the soundtrack kicked in.

but he was alone. no security. no stylists. no screaming fans or flashing lights. just him, half lit by the red orange glow of a streetlamp, a cigarette burning quietly between his fingers.

it was surreal. like seeing a tiger in a parking lot. out of place. dangerous, but mesmerizing. y/n halted mid step. he hadn't seen her yet. for a second, she considered turning around. just walking away like she hadn't seen anything. letting him have his mysterious brooding alley moment in peace.

but then, the conversation from earlier echoed back.

break the ice.

"what happens when he meets someone who doesn't see him the way everyone else does?"

y/n adjusted her grip on the battery pack. took a breath.

and kept walking.

she didn't hesitate this time. she was steady, casual, like she belonged there.

"didn't think idols actually smoked," she said, tossing the words out like an afterthought. "thought you guys were too busy preserving your perfect vocal cords."

his head turned. slowly. his eyes met hers. unreadable, dark in the half light. he didn't smile. didn't flinch. just stared at her like he wasn't sure what category to put her in yet. not a fan. not staff. not scared.

"are you lost?" he asked, voice low and flat.

y/n blinked at the bluntness, but her face didn't change. she just smirked and tilted her head. "nope. but thanks for the hospitality."

he looked away without replying. exhaled smoke through his nose. it curled into the air between them like fog.

she crossed the alley and leaned against the wall opposite him, pulling out her phone like she had something to check. her thumb hovered uselessly over the screen.

silence stretched.

not awkward, exactly. just heavy.

"i saw you guys perform," she said eventually. "myeongdong. that pop up thing? that was you, right?"

he didn't look at her. just muttered, "mm."

"that's it? one syllable?"

another shrug.

"you're really good at conversation, you know that?"

he flicked ash off the end of the cigarette. "you already knew it was us."

she narrowed her eyes. "so humble."

this time, he almost smiled. almost. the corners of his mouth twitched, but didn't move past that.

then, finally, he looked at her again. his gaze sharpened, curious but guarded.

"you're not a fan," he said.

she raised an eyebrow. "and you can tell that how?"

"you're not freaking out. no phone camera. no autograph request. you're not trying to touch me."

y/n laughed before she could stop herself. "that's the bar now? don't scream, and i get a gold star?"

he didn't laugh. but he didn't look away, either.

up close, he was even stranger than she remembered. too perfect, but not in the soft, kdrama second lead kind of way. his features were sharp, carved, like something out of old marble. his skin almost looked too smooth under the streetlight, like it hadn't been made for daylight at all.

but it was his eyes that got her. cold, calculating, but tired underneath. like he was used to people expecting something from him the second they made eye contact.

she wondered what he saw when he looked at her.

he didn't speak, so she kept going. "y/n, by the way. since you clearly don't believe in introductions."

he let the name hang there between them. didn't say it back. just ground the cigarette under his boot with one sharp twist.

"you talk too much," he said, flatly.

y/n grinned. "yeah, you're not the first to tell me that."

he reached for the door behind him, tugging it open just a crack. his hood dropped lower as he stepped toward the shadow.

he didn't look back.

but his voice cut through the still air anyway.

"stay out of the alleys, y/n."

and then he was gone.

just a sliver of light where the door had been.

y/n stayed where she was for another full minute, trying to slow the weird flutter happening in her chest.

that... did not go how she thought it would.

but it also wasn't a failure.

not yet.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

when she got home that night, she collapsed onto her bed without even kicking off her shoes. her heart had finally slowed down on the train ride back, but her brain was still spinning.

he wasn't what she thought he'd be.

not even close.

she'd expected someone cocky. smug. maybe fake nice like a celebrity on a talk show. but jinu wasn't any of those things. he was.. quiet. guarded. kind of cold, yeah, but not in the polished way idols usually were. it felt real. sharp around the edges.

he didn't act like someone who wanted to be recognized. or adored. he acted like someone who didn't trust anyone. and maybe he didn't.

she pulled out her phone and opened the group chat.

y/n:
so i ran into him

he literally told me i talk too much

i think that's his version of flirting

soojin:
you are playing with fire

and i am living for it

hana:
i need DETAILS

was he hot in person?? or like. too hot to look at directly

y/n:
both

it's bad

i might actually have to marry him

she stared at the screen for a second, then locked her phone and dropped it on the bed beside her. she wasn't sure what exactly she was doing. but whatever it was it had officially begun.

Chapter Text

it had been a week since the alley.

seven full days since she'd seen him up close. since he said her name like it was nothing. not flirtatiously. not even warmly. just... stated it. flat. unbothered. like she was a street sign or a time of day. like she existed. and somehow, that was enough to loop in her head like a song stuck on repeat.

it should've bothered her. the way he didn't seem to care. how he looked at her and saw absolutely no reason to pretend. no need to charm or impress or smile. most people would've taken it as a brush off. a red light. but instead, it lit something weird in her chest. not a spark exactly. more like a pilot light. something small and persistent, glowing low and steady in the background. just enough to remind her it was still there.

she kept thinking about that moment. how calm he'd looked, even with a cigarette in his hand and his shoulders set like they were bracing for impact. he wasn't like any idol she'd ever seen up close. and she'd met a few, thanks to her cousin's string of chaotic entertainment jobs, trainees, rookies, one slightly past his prime rapper who tried to flirt with her by quoting his own lyrics.

they always acted the same. polite. too polite. like they were terrified someone would catch them slipping. they bowed too much. smiled too wide. laughed at things that weren't funny.

jinu didn't do any of that.

he didn't even seem aware of himself in that way. like he didn't care who was watching, or maybe he just assumed no one was. not really. not the real him. and maybe that was the thing that got to her the most. he didn't try to be interesting. but he was.

he didn't try to be mysterious. but he felt like a locked room she'd accidentally found herself standing in, with no idea how she got there or how long she wanted to stay.

and that stare he gave her, the one she couldn't figure out, it should've made him forgettable. she should've walked away and laughed it off. told soojin and hana it was no big deal. which, technically, it wasn't.

except it was.

because she hadn't stopped thinking about it. and she hated that. she hated that he got under her skin so easily, without even trying. the worst part? she didn't want him to stop.

so when she left her tutoring center on thursday afternoon, head pounding from the chaos of quadratic equations and whatever the hell exponential decay was supposed to be, the last thing she expected was to see him again. much less in a gs25 convenience store across the street from her bus stop.

it was just a pit stop. a banana milk and snack run before heading home. hoodie pulled low, headphones in, she pushed through the sliding glass door and barely registered the guy stepping in ahead of her. until she caught the edge of his profile.

her heart tripped over itself.

of course it was him.

of all the places in seoul to run into a rising idol, this was not one y/n would've guessed.

the guy in front of her, plain black beanie, oversized gray jacket, hands in his pockets, was staring down a wall of cup noodles like they'd personally offended him. the fluorescent lights above buzzed slightly, catching on the edge of his jaw, the same one that had tiktok in a chokehold last week.

y/n froze mid step, halfway to the drink fridge.

there was no staff trailing him, no screaming fans, no cameras in sight. just jinu, standing alone in a half empty convenience store, looking like the saddest protagonist in a music video that never got made.

her fingers twitched around her phone.

this was it, another chance.

And unlike last time, there were no smoky alley shadows or dramatic warnings about avoiding dark corners. this was neutral territory. somewhere normal. somewhere she could actually test her theory.

y/n walked toward the drink fridge like she hadn't noticed him. she grabbed a banana milk, twisted the cap absentmindedly, and glanced down the aisle where he stood.

still there. still frowning at noodles like they held the meaning of life.

she wandered closer.

"need help choosing?" she asked, voice light, just teasing enough to not be annoying.

jinu didn't look away. "no."

cool. one word answers. her favorite.

"you sure?" she continued, not letting the silence win. "you've been staring at those for, like, five minutes. that's commitment."

"i'm deciding," he said flatly.

y/n took a slow sip of her banana milk. "what, is this a deep life moment? shin ramyun versus kimchi flavor?"

he finally glanced at her. the look he gave wasn't annoyed exactly, more like confused as to why she was still talking. but there was something else in his expression, something flickering just beneath the surface. not recognition exactly. just... noticing.

then he turned back to the shelf and grabbed one of the plainest, most boring flavors.

y/n made a face. "wow. out of all the options, you chose that?"

"it's not about flavor," he said, voice low and even. "it's about silence."

she blinked. "...okay confucius."

he ignored her and walked toward the fridge, pulling out a small can of black coffee.

of course he drinks black coffee, she thought. probably doesn't even add sugar. probably thinks emotions are a sign of weakness. probably meditates in the dark while listening to rain sounds and brooding about the meaning of life.

she followed him without realizing it, trailing after him toward the counter like a bored shadow.

jinu glanced sideways. "are you following me?"

y/n opened her mouth, paused, then nodded. "a little."

his stare was unreadable. not annoyed. not amused. just flat like he hadn't decided yet whether she was worth the effort of a response.

"but not in a creepy way," she added, smiling. "just in a 'we're in the same store and i feel like annoying you again' way."

he sighed. not dramatically. just like he'd seen this type of girl before and thought he'd aged out of having to deal with them.

the cashier scanned their items. jinu paid quickly and stepped outside without waiting for her.

y/n followed, because of course she did.outside, the air had cooled a little, the city settling into its usual late night hum. neon reflections flickered on the wet pavement. somewhere down the street, a delivery bike revved its engine, speeding off into the night.

jinu stood just to the side of the doorway under the flickering awning, the dull light catching in his lashes as he cracked open the can of coffee with one hand. he didn't say anything, didn't acknowledge that she'd followed him out.

y/n leaned against the opposite wall, sipping her banana milk with exaggerated contentment. "mmm. tastes like childhood and artificial happiness."

no reaction.

she waited a beat. two.

"you really don't talk much, huh?" she asked, trying not to grin.

jinu took a sip of coffee. "i talk when it matters."

"and i don't?"

"i didn't say that."

"but you meant it."

he glanced over at her then. not a glare, not even a real look. just a flicker of attention. like a thought brushing past his mind before he decided it wasn't worth holding onto.

still, it was something.

y/n smiled to herself. "most people would be flattered, you know. getting approached by a cute girl twice in a week."

his lips quirked slightly. barely. "are you flirting with me?"

"im just stating facts," she said innocently. "if they sound like compliments that's on you."

he shook his head once, more like disbelief than amusement. "you're loud."

"same thing as charming."

"i don't think that's how synonyms work."

she took another long sip and made a face. "ugh, why do i always forget banana milk gets warm in like, five seconds?"

he didn't answer. but his silence wasn't dismissive. it was... observational. like he was still studying her, trying to figure out what exactly she wanted from him.

which was fair.

even Y/N wasn't entirely sure what this was.

all she knew was that she'd seen hundreds of idols over the years. smiling, winking, laughing on cue. all of them perfectly packaged and trained to be adored. and somehow, this one. the one who didn't smile, didn't speak unless necessary, who picked boring ramen and drank unsweetened coffee and warned her to stay out of alleys. this one had lodged himself in her head like a splinter.

jinu checked his phone, thumb flicking across the screen once. then he tucked it back into his pocket.

"going somewhere?" she asked.

he didn't answer right away. just pushed off the wall with one shoulder and stepped toward the crosswalk.

y/n stayed where she was, watching him from the edge of her vision.

he reached the corner, paused at the button for the light, and, for a second, stood there without pressing it.

long enough for her to notice.

long enough to wonder if he was waiting.

but when the light changed, he crossed without looking back.

of course he didn't.

still she watched him go. hood up, hands deep in his pockets, a figure disappearing slowly into the streetlights. she exhaled and leaned her head back against the wall, a tiny, confused smile tugging at her lips.

what was she doing? this wasn't her. she didn't chase people. she didn't get stuck on strangers. but something about him... it wasn't even attraction, not exactly. it was the puzzle of him, the stillness, the coldness. like every other person she'd ever met had walked into the world with a flashlight, and jinu had stepped out of the shadows holding a mirror.

and the way he said her name.

not teasing or warm, just... like it existed. it shouldn't have meant anything. but for some reason, it did.

y/n:

ran into him again

in a gs25

we shared a moment over ramen

soojin:
you're insane and i support you with my whole heart

hana:
did he ask for your number yet or does he still look like he wants to throw himself into the han river

y/n:
both. it's confusing

soojin:
you're confusing

i love this

10/10

keep going

hana:
please tell me you didn't say anything about the ramen again

y/n:
...i maybe called it a "deep life decision"

hana:
i'm blocking you

y/n locked her phone and dropped it into her bag, still smiling to herself as the bus pulled up.

jinu was a challenge and she wasn't done yet.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

the bus ride home was mostly quiet, except for the dull murmur of late night commuters and the soft squeak of brakes at every stop. y/n sat by the window with one earbud in, her head against the cool glass, city lights blinking past in smudged colors.

she wasn't even listening to music. just white noise. xsomething to fill the space while her mind kept circling back to him.

it was starting to feel less like a joke now. less like a bet and more like... something else. not a crush. not yet. but an itch under her skin. a curiosity that refused to go away. because jinu wasn't playing along the way guys usually did. she'd gotten used to being noticed. not in a conceited way, it was just that people generally liked her. she was easy to talk to, quick with a joke, always the one filling silences when they got awkward. and it usually worked. even the quiet ones eventually gave in. smiled, laughed, opened up.

but jinu? he gave nothing. which should have driven her crazy.

instead it made her want to try harder. not because she wanted his attention. but because now it felt like a mystery. why was he like that? what made someone choose to be so... closed off, even when they were literally built to be adored?

she pulled her hoodie tighter around herself and sighed.

maybe this was dumb.

maybe this was just a phase. a weird, delayed crush on someone she should've admired from afar. but it didn't feel like that. it felt like she'd accidentally found a door in a hallway she thought she knew, and now all she wanted was to peek inside.

by the time she got home, her banana milk was warm and half-full in her pocket, and her feet hurt from standing too long in stiff shoes. she kicked them off in the entryway and dropped onto her bed without bothering to change, phone flopping facedown beside her.

she stared at the ceiling for a while.

played the moment back again.

the way he barely looked at her but still noticed things. the way he never answered with more than a few words but managed to say enough anyway. the way he didn't tell her to go away.

that had to count for something right?

eventually she rolled onto her side and reached for her phone.

saja boys.

she typed the name into the search bar and scrolled past fancams and reaction videos until she landed on a clip from a different performance. a showcase, maybe. or a music show. jinu was front and center again.

y/n watched the video twice.

then she watched another.

and another.

she wasn't obsessed. but she was beginning to think she'd been wrong about idols. or at least about him.

this wasn't about fame, not really.

something about jinu made it feel like there was a line between him and the rest of the world, and she had caught a glimpse over it. just enough to know it was there.

Chapter Text

the news broke on a tuesday morning.

y/n had just stepped out of a stuffy third floor classroom, half asleep and clutching her y/f/d like it owed her money, when her phone lit up with three chaotic notifications in a row.

hana:

OH MY GOD.

soojin:

GO TO INSTAGRAM RIGHT NOW.

hana:

WE'RE NOT EVEN BEING NORMAL ABOUT THIS.

y/n blinked at the screen, confused and still trying to mentally recover from conjugating seventy four irregular verbs. she opened Instagram and nearly tripped over her own feet on the way down the stairs.

there it was.

OFFICIAL LINEUP ANNOUNCEMENT

the 29th annual idol awards.

featuring: HUNTR/X, and...

SAJA BOYS (First Ever Awards Performance)

date announcement coming soon...

"oh my god," y/n whispered, echoing hana.

she barely noticed as people bumped past her on the stairs, phone clutched to her chest like it might explode. it wasn't just that the saja boys were performing. it was that they were performing at the idol awards. a show so big it practically paused the country for one night every year. even if you weren't into idols, you watched it. your aunt who only listened to trot music watched it. the guy who sold fishcakes outside the station watched it.

this was next level.

by lunch, the news had saturated the school like wildfire.

"do you realize what this means?" hana said, slamming her lunch tray down at their usual table.

"that jinu in a suit might kill me?" y/n asked, already watching fancams from last week's myeongdong performance for the fifth time.

"that, yes," soojin said. "but also, their company just debuted them last week, and they're already on the idol awards main stage? that's not normal."

"nothing about them is normal," y/n muttered.

hana nodded, looking serious. "think about it. no pre debut exposure. no survival show. no social media until the day they debuted. mo background, no company profile, not even a proper agency name. just: boom. here's five guys who look like they stepped out of a fever dream."

"and now they're getting booked next to legends." soojin shook her head. "it's weird."

y/n didn't say anything. she knew it was weird. everyone knew. the forums were already exploding. posts titled things like "who TF are the saja boys?" or "saja boys origins = cult?" or "mysterious disappearances = demonic debut???"

okay, the last one was kind of unhinged. but still.

in the past two weeks, it wasn't just that they were rising fast. it was that people were... missing. not in a headline worthy way, not yet. but enough for rumour threads. enough for subreddits and whispers and cautionary reposts in the comment sections of saja fancams. "does anyone know what happened to the girl who filmed this?" one comment read under a tiktok of their debut stage. it had 2.1 million likes and no real answers.

and yet the fandom kept growing.

y/n couldn't help herself either.

ever since that convenience store run in, she'd caught herself thinking about him at the weirdest times. while brushing her teeth. while walking to the bus. while opening her locker and finding a flyer for a lost dog and feeling her heart do something weird, like it knew it was supposed to worry about bigger things.

so she started planning.

not obsessively.... just... subtly.

she didn't want to come off like one of those fans. the ones with spreadsheets and google maps of known idol sightings. but she figured if the universe gave her one alleyway coincidence and one convenience store miracle, maybe it wouldn't mind helping her a third time.

she needed an actual strategy.

she started by stalking their confirmed schedule. it was sparse but she knew they had a stage filming next week. pre recorded for a music show that aired the following friday. the show's location wasn't public, obviously, but soojin's cousin worked as a floor assistant on that exact show. it was a loose lead, but a lead nonetheless.

meanwhile, the saja boys' presence in the media kept growing.

everywhere she turned, someone was talking about them. idol forums, reddit theories. tiktok fancams with captions like "does anyone else get chills watching him?" or "why do i feel like he's not even human?"

jinu was always in the center.

sometimes she caught herself rewatching the moment from the convenience store in her head: the look, the black coffee, the faintest twitch of a smile before he walked away.

stay out of the alleys, y/n.

"too late for that," she mumbled one evening, staring at her ceiling while she picked up her phone and opened a new message:

y/n:

okay. i have a plan

i'm going to see him again

hana replied two seconds later:

hana:

you're insane

do i want details or deniability?

y/n:

both

soojin

please tell me this doesn't involve sneaking into a music show again

y/n:

"again" is a strong word

and also yes

y/n grinned down at her phone, flipping it face down on the bed before she could spiral. her room was still cluttered from the post myeongdong fangirl meltdown. the same poster board soojin had made as a joke ("JINU NOTICE ME OR I'LL DIE") was crumpled in a corner, and someone had left a half full soda can on the floor. probably hana.

it had been a week since that weirdly cinematic run in at the gs25. jinu hadn't followed her on instagram (obviously). he hadn't magically slid into her dms. but he also hadn't forgotten her. she was sure of it.

there'd been something in the way he paused at the crosswalk before vanishing again. like he knew she was still watching. like he wanted her to be.

or maybe she was just making things up in her head.

still. it didn't feel like nothing.

everywhere she went, someone was talking about the saja boys. kids at school tried to copy their choreography in the halls. the girl at the tutoring center had dyed her hair to match romances pink hair. even mr. kang, their math tutor, had asked once if y/n had heard that "new song about soda."

it was like the entire country had fallen under their spell.

and yet... the boys themselves remained a mystery.

no baby photos. no embarrassing pre debut clips. no stories from other idols about training with them. they just appeared.

which might've been fine. if not for the other weird stuff.

at first the stories felt random. a high school girl vanishing after a bus ride. a college kid never coming back from night class. but now it was starting to feel connected.

one post had gone semi viral on a fan forum: "every time they perform in public, people disappear."

y/n hadn't wanted to believe it. But she couldn't unsee it either.

the rumors were growing, and not all of them were fangirls fantasizing about abs and backstage kisses.

some people were scared.

y/n wouldn't say she was scared.

but the edge of something... wrong... was starting to bleed through the "sparkle".

and still, she wanted to see jinu again.

she tried to play it cool in the group chat, but her search history betrayed her.

'how to sneak into a music show taping'

'idol award guest assistant application hack'

'how long does banana milk last unrefrigerated'

(that last one was unrelated but still.)

at school, she lingered by the bulletin board longer than she used to. she eavesdropped on older students in the av club, hoping someone would mention tech crew openings or guest passes. she even debated messaging soojin's cousin again, just to see if any "spare badges" had magically fallen from the sky.

no luck.

but something would give. she just had to wait. not too long. not forever.

it hasnt but confirmed yet how long until the idol rewards but one could only assume somewhat soon.

somewhat soon until the saja boys stepped onto the stage again, live, under blinding lights, with the entire country watching.

and maybe, just maybe, y/n would find a way to be there too.

close enough to watch jinu up close, to see what he was hiding, close enough... to matter.

by thursday, y/n had all but abandoned any pretense of not scheming.

she stayed late after tutoring to "study" (read: refresh twitter for updates on the saja boys' schedule), dug up every angle of the music show pre recording location, and even got soojin's cousin to mention a "possible guest list mishap" that might open up a spare badge for an extra assistant.

it wasn't solid. but it was better than nothing.

the saja boys weren't just some flavour of the month group anymore. their fanbase had grown 10 fold overnight. security was tighter. staff were stricter. the chance of "coincidentally" running into them again was growing smaller by the day.

so if fate wouldn't hand it to her, she'd chase it herself.

but she also wasn't stupid. she knew it wasn't just about jinu's cheekbones or the way he said her name without caring. there was something else. something pulling at her. something she didn't know how to name yet.

she kept thinking about the alley.

she didn't bring it up with her friends again, but the topic of missing people kept creeping back into her feed.

another girl from gangnam hadn't been seen since the saja boys' myeongdong performance. there were whispers of shadows in backstage footage, odd glitches in live broadcasts, things people chalked up to "bad lighting" or "technical errors."

but y/n didn't think it was that simple.

and despite everything, despite the weirdness, the questions, the gnawing feeling that she was getting too close to something she didn't fully understand, she couldn't pull herself away.

because jinu wasn't just mysterious.

he felt like a puzzle that no one had solved yet. and maybe that meant she was stupid. or maybe it meant she was already in too deep.

ebither way, she was done waiting for fate to hand her another alleyway miracle.

the next time she saw him it was going to be on purpose.

Chapter Text

it took y/n three full days to settle on a plan.

not that she would ever admit she was planning anything. to her friends she played it off like she was just... doing her own thing. totally not memorizing the saja boys' rehearsal schedule based on a vague leak from a fan forum soojin had sent her as a joke.

"imagine if you just showed up," soojin had said, laughing over a blurry screenshot of a building schedule someone had posted with way too many red heart emojis and a grainy photo of what might've been jinu's elbow.

y/n had laughed too.

then saved the photo.

and maybe, just maybe, done some light research. not stalking. that was a strong word. she preferred "targeted investigation."

besides, the saja boys were famous now. it wasn't weird to be curious. it wasn't weird to know which building idols usually rented for last minute rehearsals before big events.

totally normal behavior.

even if her heart was beating too fast, even if her palms were sweaty as she adjusted her hoodie and leaned casually against the vending machine across the street from the building. she'd timed it well, early enough that the midday rush was starting to settle, but late enough that their session should've just wrapped.

if they were here.

which they might not be.

y/n sipped her drink and checked her phone for the fourth time in two minutes. nothing. no sign of him. no updates online. just a few newer posts about how the saja boys had been spotted doing pre recordings for a music show yesterday, and someone on tiktok swearing they saw them at a cafe near hongdae (doubtful).

maybe this was stupid. maybe she should leave.

she sighed, about to turn and go, when the front door of the rehearsal space creaked open.

y/n froze.

out walked a guy in a black zip up and matching joggers, his hair tucked under a baseball cap. he had that same unreadable stillness she recognized instantly. a presence that didn't need attention but still got it. she didn't need to see his face to know.

jinu.

y/n's grip tightened around her iced coffee.

okay. okay. deep breath. i could do this.

she pushed off the vending machine and crossed the street slowly, pretending not to notice him until they were just about shoulder to shoulder.

and then, in her most casual, most completely pretending this is unplanned voice, she said:

"oh. hey."

jinu didn't even flinch.

he looked over at her like she'd just walked into his living room without knocking.

y/n offered a little smile. "what a coincidence."

jinu blinked once. "no, it's not."

well. so much for that.

y/n's smile tightened slightly. "okay wow. not even gonna pretend?"

"why would i?" he asked flatly, then shifted his gaze toward the street like he was already looking for an escape route. "you're not exactly subtle."

she stepped in front of him before he could walk off. "i didn't do anything!"

"you're standing outside a rehearsal building with a drink in your hand like you're waiting for someone. you called it a coincidence even though the odds are practically zero. and last time we met, you were clearly trying to start something."

"i wasn't- okay, yeah, maybe i was. but i didn't think you'd be keeping score."

"i'm not. just observant."

y/n tilted her head. "do you always assume the worst in people?"

"do you always chase people who don't want to talk?"

that one stung. a little.

she took a slow sip of her drink, letting the cold bitterness ground her.

then calmly: "if you really didn't want to talk to me, you would've walked away by now."

that shut him up.

for a moment, they just stood there, locked in something that wasn't quite a standoff but wasn't not one either. the street was mostly empty except for the distant hum of traffic and the occasional student walking by with headphones on.

jinu looked at her, really looked this time. his gaze flicked over her expression like he was trying to decode it. trying to figure out why she was still standing here, unbothered, when most people would've backed off ten minutes ago.

"i'm not trying to make you uncomfortable," y/n said quietly, softer now. "i just... i don't know. i thought maybe you could use a friend."

he scoffed, not cruelly, more like disbelief. "you think i need a friend?"

she shrugged. "don't you?"

his jaw tightened slightly. but he didn't answer.

y/n took a small step back, giving him space. "look, you don't owe me anything. if you wanna disappear back into your mysterious idol bubble, go ahead. i won't chase you."

jinu hesitated.

then, for reasons he couldn't explain even to himself, he didn't walk away.

jinu didn't know why he stayed.

maybe it was the way she said it, simple, no pressure. like she really meant it. like she wasn't trying to get anything out of him. that was rare.

or maybe it was something else. something about her that made it hard to retreat the way he normally would. she was persistent, sure, but not in the desperate fan way he was used to. not even in the overly friendly way that tried to pry. she just stood there, confident, like she had nothing to prove.

so instead of brushing past her, he said, "walk with me."

y/n blinked. "seriously?"

"unless you were actually just here for the vending machine."

she grinned and fell into step beside him, their footsteps syncing naturally as they headed down the sidewalk.

"is this the part where you say something cryptic about life and i pretend to understand it?"

"no," he said. "this is the part where we walk quietly and you stop talking for five seconds."

y/n gasped. "you're so mean."

he didn't respond.

but the corner of his mouth twitched again, that almost smile she was starting to chase like a high.

they passed a street vendor selling fishcakes, and the scent of warm broth drifted between them. y/n's stomach growled embarrassingly loud. jinu gave her a look.

"don't judge me," she muttered. "some of us didn't get free catering at rehearsal today."

"you're assuming a lot."

"isn't that what mysterious idols do? hide behind black coffee and vague one word answers?"

jinu stopped walking.

she turned, confused. "what?"

he looked at her flatly. "you talk like you know me."

"i don't," she said, catching on. "i know. im just-"

"guessing. assuming."

y/n opened her mouth, then closed it again. he wasn't wrong. but it wasn't like she meant to come off that way.

"im not trying to be annoying," she said finally. "i just... like talking. and you're a mystery. im curious."

"curiosity gets people hurt."

the words came out colder than he meant. sharper. y/n flinched, barely, but he saw it.

silence fell between them again, but this time it was heavy.

y/n stared at the pavement. "i don't know what happened to you, jinu, but i'm not the enemy."

jinu didn't respond right away.

because the truth was, he didn't know what she was. not yet. not yet a fan. not yet a friend. but there was something about her, something that made the lines blur. and that was dangerous.

too dangerous.

but before he could say anything else, a soft chime rang out from his phone.

he glanced at the screen.

jinu slipped the phone back into his pocket. "i have to go."

y/n nodded. "yeah. okay."

he started to walk off, then paused. he didn't look back or say goodbye.

but his voice, when it came, was quiet.

"you're not as loud as you think."

y/n blinked, surprised. "wait- was that a compliment?"

but he was already walking away, disappearing into the late afternoon light like smoke.

she stood there, smiling at nothing.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

y/n:

soooo i maybe accidentally ran into him again

outside the rehearsal building

he called me loud again but in a slightly less rude tone??

soojin:

what part of this was "accidental" exactly

hana:

wait WAIT

he talked to you again??

y/n:

yes

and no

it's confusing

he said i don't know him. he's right. but also he didn't walk away sooo

soojin:

girl. you're playing with FIRE

y/n:

don't care. i'm already too deep

operation coincidence is a go

the next day at uni, y/n found herself distracted in a way she didn't know how to explain.

it wasn't love. obviously. she wasn't that delusional.

it was just... curiosity. interest. jinu was a puzzle, and the more she tried to piece him together, the more she realized she was missing half the box.

she stared at her notes for her upcoming math exam and sighed. numbers blurred on the page. her brain didn't care about equations. it cared about replaying every second of that sidewalk conversation like it was a scene from a drama she wasn't supposed to enjoy.

"he told me i wasn't as loud as i think," she muttered, spinning her pen between her fingers.

across from her in the library, hana raised an eyebrow. "is that supposed to be romantic?"

"no," y/n said. "but he could've said nothing. and he didn't."

"so the emotionally constipated idol gave you a single crumb and now you're spinning."

y/n slumped forward dramatically. "yes."

soojin slid into the seat beside them with a bag of chips and a suspicious look. "this is getting serious."

"it's not," y/n said quickly. "i just... i feel like I can get through to him. eventually."

"you don't have to," hana said gently. "he doesn't owe you anything. and you don't owe him fixing."

y/n looked down at her textbook. "i know."

she did know. but there was still something gnawing at her. aomething about the way he'd paused before walking away yesterday. the way he hadn't said goodbye, but hadn't left like he hated her either. it felt like maybe, just maybe, she'd left a crack in the wall.

and cracks meant progress.

by the end of the week, she found herself back near the rehearsal building.

this time, she didn't wait outside.

she sat inside the bakery across the street, pretending to do homework with an overpriced drink and half a croissant she wasn't eating. her eyes flicked up every time the door opened.

it wasn't stalking if she was also being productive.

kind of.

okay not really. her notebook was still blank. but her heart definitely skipped a beat when she saw movement across the street.

jinu.

same black hoodie, same casual swagger that looked effortless but somehow calculated. his hood was down this time, dark hair swept back like he hadn't tried but still managed to look perfect.

y/n sat up straighter without meaning to.

this time, she didn't pretend it was a coincidence. she grabbed her drink and left the croissant behind. by the time she reached the sidewalk, jinu was already lighting a cigarette, leaning against the side of the building like a habit.

she cleared her throat. "hey."

he glanced over, clearly not surprised.

"you again."

"me again."

"you're not very creative with these surprise visits."

y/n gave him a look. "says the guy who's always lurking in alleys like a sad movie character."

he looked vaguely amused. "you have a theory about me smoking in alleys too?"

"obviously. it's part of your whole 'don't get too close, im brooding' persona."

jinu raised an eyebrow. "persona?"

"yeah. you're mysterious. more mysterious than mystery himself. closed off. it's a whole thing. you know what you're doing."

he exhaled smoke and said nothing.

y/n crossed her arms. "do you ever get tired of it?"

"tired of what?"

"being the mystery. don't you ever just want to be normal? talk like a normal person? laugh?"

a beat passed. then another.

finally, he said, "don't assume i don't."

his voice was quiet, but something about it cut through the noise of the city like glass.

y/n blinked. "okay."

she didn't push or tease.

for once, she just stood there with him in silence.

it was the first time she felt like maybe, just maybe, she'd said something he actually heard.

not just listened to. heard.

jinu didn't look at her after that. he kept his eyes forward, focused on the steady stream of traffic rolling past the curb, as if it were safer than holding her gaze.

still, he didn't leave. and that was something.

y/n leaned against the brick wall beside him, mimicking his posture, her fingers cold around her drink cup.

after a minute, she said, quietly, "i don't think you're as unknowable as you pretend to be."

his jaw tensed. "you don't know me."

"i know," she said with a shrug. "i just think maybe you're not trying that hard to be unknown. maybe you're just tired."

this time, his head tilted slightly. almost like he was going to say something.

but instead, he took another drag of his cigarette and muttered, "you talk too much."

y/n smiled. "you said that already."

"it's still true."

"i'll take it as a compliment."

"you shouldn't."

she laughed under her breath. "you ever get tired of being this insufferable?"

"daily."

his mouth twitched. barely. but it was there.

progress. again.

"i'm not trying to fix you, you know," she said, her voice softer now. "i just think you deserve someone who sees you. the real you."

"you don't know the real me."

"maybe not," y/n said. "but you keep showing up when i do. that has to mean something."

he went quiet.

a scooter buzzed past, kicking up wind that made her tuck her hands into her coat sleeves. jinu didn't move, but his cigarette was burning low.

finally, he said, "you should go."

y/n frowned. "why?"

"because you're not part of this world."

"what world?"

"the one i live in."

it wasn't cruel the way he said it. just final.

like a boundary drawn in chalk.

she could step over it. but it might wash away.

y/n opened her mouth to argue but then stopped.

instead, she nodded slowly. "okay."

jinu seemed surprised by that. she stepped away, gave him a short wave, and turned around without another word. but her heart was loud in her chest. and just before she crossed the street, she looked back-

he was still there. watching.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

that night, she couldn't stop replaying it in her head.

the way he'd said she wasn't part of his world.

the part of her that believed in stories wanted to fight that. wanted to believe that two people from different worlds could still meet in the middle. she'd seen it in dramas. read it in books. idol meets ordinary girl, cue the soft lighting and piano soundtrack.

but the realist in her knew this was different.

jinu wasn't just untouchable because of his fame. there was something else in the way he spoke. something heavy. like he was carrying weight that had nothing to do with stages or fan signs.

something he couldn't talk about. wouldn't.

she didn't know what it was yet, but she wanted to understand. not out of obsession, or to win some bet, or even for her own pride. she just wanted to know him.

y/n:

i found him again

near the rehearsal building

totally normal timing

not weird at all...

we talked. kind of.

soojin:

is this the part where he confessed undying love orrr?

hana:

i'm guessing he stared into your soul and told you to leave him alone again?

y/n:

...yeah

but he also stayed

and he listened

i think he's listening now

soojin:

girl i say this with love but you are in deep

hana:

you've got the main character disease

terminal

y/n:

fine. maybe

but if i am the main character i'm not done yet

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

at school the next day, something strange was going on.

a group of first years were huddled around a phone, whispering excitedly. she heard the words "saja boys" and "idol awards" in the same breath.

her ears perked up.

she walked past them slowly, catching a glimpse of the screen. it was a headline.

"saja boys to perform at this year's idol awards. just one month away!"

y/n froze mid step.

one month.

that was it?

she yanked out her phone, pulling up social media.

sure enough, it was everywhere. the announcement had dropped that morning. the annual idol awards were confirmed for next month, and the saja boys were officially performing.

every fan account was in chaos. there were rumors of new stages, collabs, exclusive teasers. speculation was wild. mostly because no one still knew anything about where the saja boys had even come from.

it was like they'd appeared from thin air.

and now they were headlining the biggest stage in the country.

y/n's pulse quickened.

her fingers flew to the group chat.

y/n:

IDOL AWARDS.

ONE MONTH.

THEY'RE PERFORMING.

hana:

WE KNOW

WE SAW

WE SCREAMED

soojin:

y/n are you okay or did your soul just leave your body

y/n:

jinu

on stage

in a suit

with fog machines

and backup dancers

and possibly pyro

hana:

someone sedate her

soojin:

okay but seriously this means you're on a TIME LIMIT

y/n:

i know

y/n couldn't focus the rest of the day. not in class. not at work. not even during her late night tutoring session, where her math teacher gently asked if she was "emotionally allergic to logarithms" after she completely spaced out for the third time.

one month.

that was barely four weeks. barely enough time to get her foot in the door, let alone get under jinu's skin the way he was already under hers.

because that's what this had become now.

no more playful scheming. no more lighthearted teasing. not really.

she wasn't sure when it had shifted, maybe it was the alley, or the ramen aisle, or that moment outside the rehearsal building when he told her she didn't belong in his world. but somewhere along the way, this stopped being about a challenge and started feeling like something she had to do. something she didn't want to regret not trying.

and now the countdown had started.

that night, she sat on the floor of her bedroom, hunched over her laptop with two different open tabs: one on the idol awards official website (which was practically melting from all the traffic), and one with a list of rehearsal venues that fans had speculated the saja boys might be using.

she knew it was ridiculous.

she wasn't a sasaeng. she wasn't going to follow him into a van or show up at some hotel lobby or whatever those extreme fans did. but if she just happened to hang out nearby one of these buildings during daylight hours... well. that wasn't a crime.

and she needed a new "accidental" meeting place. she couldn't just keep bumping into him by sheer luck.

so she planned.

marked a few locations. checked what was nearby, cafes, convenience stores, little plazas where someone might be able to blend in while sipping a drink and pretending not to be waiting for something very specific.

she felt insane.

she also felt alive.

"operation coincidence, part two," she whispered under her breath the next morning, tugging her hood up over her ears.

it was colder than usual. the sun was barely peeking over the edge of the skyline when she found herself tucked in the corner of a coffee shop across from a rehearsal building in gangnam. a very public building. lots of idol groups passed through here. it wasn't weird.

she had a textbook open in front of her. banana milk in one hand. highlighter in the other.

totally normal.

she wasn't expecting him to show up right away. maybe not at all.

but when she glanced out the fogged up window an hour later and saw a tall figure in black sweats and a cap ducking through the side entrance, her heart stuttered so hard it made her drop her pen.

jinu.

again.

this was her chance.

she waited twenty minutes.

twenty long, caffeine fueled minutes, then slipped out of the cafe and crossed the street. there was a narrow alley along the side of the building, lined with dumpsters and vending machines. probably a staff entrance. definitely not a place a fan would linger.

which was why she positioned herself near the vending machine, pretending to fight with the coin slot. she'd bought water she didn't need just in case someone questioned her.

she didn't have to wait long. the door creaked open. and there he was.

jinu, hair damp and flat under his hood, stepping outside into the sharp morning light with a phone in one hand and headphones in the other. he didn't see her at first, too distracted, too deep in whatever music or thoughts had his focus.

but then he looked up.

paused.

and she smiled.

"oh wow," she said, voice full of faux surprise. "you again?"

jinu blinked once. then slowly exhaled like he'd been expecting it. of course he saw through her.

"i knew it," he muttered, brushing a hand through his hair. "i knew that ramen thing wasn't a coincidence."

y/n raised her hands like a caught criminal. "okay, okay, slightly planned. but i still bought banana milk, so it counts."

he stared at her, exasperated. "are you following me?"

"no," she said. "that implies a long term pursuit. this is more of a... localized encounter."

"that's worse."

"you're still talking to me, though."

he sighed. again. (she was starting to think it was his default setting around her)

"what do you want?"

y/n tilted her head. "i think you already know."

jinu leaned back against the wall, arms folded. "you want attention."

"no. you want isolation. i'm just bad at respecting it."

"you think that's funny?"

"a little."

"god."

she grinned. "you don't have to like me, you know. you just have to tolerate me long enough for me to make an impression."

jinu gave her a long, unreadable look. "you already did."

oh.

her throat caught.

"...really?"

he didn't answer. just looked away and shoved his hands in his pockets like he regretted saying it.

she took a slow breath. "you ever get tired of being mysterious?"

"do you ever get tired of pretending this is normal?"

"i am normal."

"exactly," he said, with a sharpness that surprised her. "so why keep showing up?"

y/n blinked. that one hurt a little.

but she didn't back down.

"because i think something about you isn't," she said carefully. "and i don't mean your fame. i mean... something else."

jinu's jaw twitched.

she pushed, gently. "i think you're scared to let anyone see it."

he stepped toward her. just one step. close enough that she had to tilt her chin up to meet his eyes.

"you don't know what you're talking about."

"then tell me," she whispered. "im right here."

a beat of silence.

then Jinu muttered, almost too low to hear,

"you really want to know what I am?"

y/n's breath hitched.

but he didn't finish.

instead, he pulled his hood up, stepped around her, and disappeared back inside the rehearsal building without another word.

the door shut softly behind him.

leaving y/n in the alley, alone, her pulse thundering in her ears.

y/n didn't follow.

she stood there in the crisp shade of the building, watching the space where he'd been. feeling half triumphant, half confused.

she hadn't imagined that flicker in his eyes. he saw through her act. every bit of it. and still... he didn't walk away. her phone buzzed in her pocket, probably soojin or hana waiting for an update. but she didn't check it. not yet.

instead, she let the silence hang, her heartbeat still annoyingly loud in her ears.

what was his deal?

why was he like that? all smoke and distance and careful pauses, like he'd been trained not to let anyone in. and why did  that  make her want to try harder?

y/n sighed and finally turned to go. the butterflies in her chest had no business being that loud.

but just as she disappeared around the corner,

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

a different figure leaned against the rail, hoodie up, arms crossed, watching the scene below. she'd been standing there the whole time.

beside her, two others in sleek, streetwear styled outfits stood quietly, their attention fixed on the alley y/n had just left. their silhouettes were sharp, their eyes sharper.

one of them adjusted her sunglasses. "that's her again," she murmured.

the tallest of the group, the one with reddish pink hair didn't respond right away. her gaze followed jinu's retreating form.

then:
"keep an eye on them."

and just like that, they were gone.

Chapter Text

the crowd outside the rehearsal studio was thicker than usual. girls with dyed bangs and ring lights hovered near the barricades, some holding up handmade signs, others glued to their phones livestreaming every breath of the waiting moment. y/n didn't expect to be near the building at all, not on a weekday and definitely not in this part of the city, but her art club off campus workshop had run late, and the bus stop she needed was, unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, right across from the studio.

she hadn't meant to stop. really.

but there was something about the energy in the air that made her glance up from her phone. and that was when she saw him.

jinu.

his face wasn't fully visible, hidden under a hoodie and mask, but it didn't matter. he had a presence. the kind of quiet that made you notice it without knowing why. he was paused just a few feet from the black van idling near the curb — the one that, apparently, had arrived a beat too late.

the crowd spotted him in pieces, a gasp here, a scream there, until the wave swelled.

and like flipping a switch, jinu shifted. his posture straightened. he lifted his chin just slightly. eyes half lidded, stance casual, lips tugging into that signature smirk that had been clipped into dozens of reaction gifs.

a few girls cried out. others surged forward. phones clicked. flashes sparked.

"oppa! over here!"

"jinu, one smile, please-"

"did you dye your hair even darker?!"

he answered none of it. just glanced toward the van, like he wasn't trying to escape but arrive, as if this was all part of the show.

but something went wrong. a hand shot forward, grabbing his sleeve. another girl shrieked, pushing to get closer. jinu stepped back. and for just a breath, less than a second, the mask cracked.

his eyes flicked across the crowd. fast. calculating. like he wasn't seeing fans anymore, just bodies. no clear exit. no safety. not yet.

y/n reacted before she knew what she was doing.

she darted across the street, weaving between scooters and bikes, circling the crowd from the side. she slipped in quick and smooth like she was meant to be there.

"oh my god, there you are," she said breathlessly, voice pitched loud enough to carry. "you weren't answering your texts, and we're already late."

several heads turned. some girls frowned. one even lowered her phone.

behind his sunglasses, jinu's gaze cut to her, sharp and unreadable.

y/n didn't flinch.

"seriously, if you make me run across the city again, i'm filing a complaint with your manager," she added, reaching for his arm with practiced ease. "sorry, everyone, work stuff. you know how it is."

confusion rippled through the crowd.

someone whispered, "wait, is she-?"

"not anyone interesting, promise," y/n said with a shrug, tugging him gently. 

and somehow, miraculously, they let her.

maybe it was the confidence. or the way jinu didn't resist. or how natural it looked, him falling into step beside her like this wasn't the weirdest part of his night.

but no one stopped them.

and that, y/n thought as they slipped down the street, was probably the weirdest part of all.

only when they ducked around the corner of the building, out of view from the fans, did she let go. her heart was pounding. her breath came out in shallow gulps, like she'd just sprinted a mile instead of thirty feet.

she took a breath. "okay. you're welcome, by the way."

no answer.

she turned.

he stood still, sunglasses off now, eyes locked on her with a look that made her freeze. it wasn't gratitude or confusion or anything like that. more like something deeper or tense or unsettled.

"why did you do that?" he asked, voice low.

y/n blinked. "um. because they were going to rip your face off? did you see how close that one girl got? she was about to braid herself into your hoodie string."

"that's not what i meant." his gaze sharpened. "why you? why would you do that?"

y/n frowned, thrown off. "what is that supposed to mean?"

"you're not a fan," he said flatly. "you're not with my team. you're not security. you're just—some girl. why would you get involved?"

she folded her arms, defensiveness rising fast. "sorry, i forgot saving someone had to go through a background check."

his jaw twitched. "you shouldn't get involved."

"too late."

she crossed her arms, trying to hold his stare even though everything about his expression made her want to take a nervous step back. he looked different now. not cold like usual. just... unguarded. and that was somehow scarier.

"you think i did that for clout or something?" she asked. "because i really didn't. i just- i saw you, and they weren't backing off, and i didn't think."

"that's the problem," he said, voice clipped. "you don't think."

that stung. her eyes narrowed. "wow. okay. thanks for the lecture, dad."

he looked away, exhaling through his nose, clearly frustrated. "being around me... it's not a game."

y/n tilted her head. "did i say it was?"

"you treat it like one. like this is some challenge to win."

she felt her stomach twist. the bet. he didn't know about it obviously but the way he said it, the way it cut through all her easy confidence, it made her wonder if she'd gone too far. if maybe he wasn't just a cold idol with a tragic backstory and a soft center waiting to be found.

maybe he was something else entirely.

"look," she said, her voice quieter now, "i don't know what your deal is. you act like everyone's out to get you, and maybe they are, i don't know. but im not."

he stepped forward once. "you don't know them. you don't know me. that could've gone a lot worse."

"you were being cornered. i did what any decent person would do."

something flickered in his expression. 

He looked away for a moment. ran a hand through his hair.

"i don't need saving," he muttered.

"didn't look that way to me."

"you don't get it."

y/n crossed her arms. "then explain it."

for a moment, he didn't speak. just looked at her like he was measuring something.

then, almost too quiet to hear, he said, "being around me isn't safe."

there it was again. that voice. not the smooth, camera ready idol tone. not the sharp tongued version he used when brushing her off. 

y/n stared at him, heart ticking a little too fast. "what does that mean?"

he didn't answer.

of course he didn't.

instead, he stepped back.

"don't follow me again," he said, turning away.

she didn't.

but she also didn't stop watching his back as he walked off, hoodie up, disappearing into the maze of alleys like he hadn't just dropped a puzzle in her lap and walked away.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

y/n didn't tell her friends what happened. not right away, anyway.

there wasn't really a way to say "hey, i faked being jinu's assisant/manager thing and saved him from a minor mob" without sounding like she was writing self insert fanfiction. and worse, she wasn't even sure it meant anything. he hadn't thanked her. hadn't even texted her later (not that he had her number obviously). just vanished into the city like usual, leaving her with more questions than answers and an adrenaline crash that hit hard by the time she got home.

the only thing she did do was replay the moment again and again until it burned a hole in her chest.

he hadn't said it out of ego. or annoyance.

he said it like a warning.

like he knew something she didn't.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

by the next day, the incident was buried under new headlines: rehearsal leaks, stylist drama, idol award speculation.

the official idol awards countdown was plastered across social media now

"29 DAYS UNTIL THE STAGE OF THE YEAR"

and y/n's school was already buzzing. Their media studies teacher had even changed their project curriculum to focus on the award show, forcing every group to pick a team: saja boys or huntr/x.

it sparked instant chaos in class.

"huntr/x is obviously better," soojin said, slamming her folder onto their shared desk. "they actually train. they've been working their way up for years, and they write their own lyrics."

"yeah, but the saja boys are super iconic," hana countered. "no one had even heard of them, and now they're booked for the biggest stage of the year."

"they're literally a mystery," soojin muttered. "no one even knows where they came from. or their agency. or if they're real. most people only love them for their looks."

"they're real," y/n said, flipping her pen between her fingers.

everyone looked at her.

hana squinted. "wait, you've been quiet all day. aren't you team jinu or whatever?"

"im not on a team," she said, shrugging. "they're both talented."

"wow. diplomatic queen," soojin said. "running for president now?"

y/n forced a laugh, but her head was already somewhere else. replaying that alley again.

her stomach twisted.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

that afternoon, while she was supposed to be researching performance marketing strategies for her project, she found herself on a deep scroll through online forums.

it started simple. a google search:
"saja boys agency"
no clear answers. then she clicked through a fan site, then a translated tweet, then a link to an old discussion board, and suddenly, she was staring at a thread titled:

"anyone else noticing weird disappearances after saja events?"

ger brow furrowed. she clicked.

OP:
not trying to start rumors, but i was at the soda pop flashmob last month and my friend swears a couple of the girls who were near the front never made it home. can't find her socials anymore either

reply 1:
this sounds fake lol

reply 2:
i heard something similar after the underground showcase. my cousin's classmate went and never came back

reply 3:
you guys watch too many dramas

reply 4:
look, i don't think the boys are involved, but there's been a weird pattern. not confirmed, just... off

y/n sat back in her chair.

missing people? after performances?

she clicked through more. some of the comments were clearly exaggerated, fan theories and ghost stories, but a few were specific. dates. times. venues. a girl in busan. a guy in gangnam.  always after a show. always during a crowd.

coincidence or something else?

she didn't know. but she saved the thread anyway.

later, over lunch, she mentioned it casually.

"so... there's this theory going around that fans go missing after saja boys performances," she said, stabbing a piece of tteokbokki.

hana made a face. "that's not funny."

"im not joking."

soojin shrugged. "sounds like twitter delusion. people disappear every day, doesn't mean it's because of a boy band."

"still creepy," hana muttered, hugging her tray closer. "it just feels... off. like something's not being said."

y/n didn't reply. she just chewed slowly, eyes flicking to the cafeteria tv screen. a music news broadcast was running, showing a slowed down montage of saja boys rehearsal clips. jinu flashed across the screen, frozen mid step, hoodie half off, eyes lowered. the caption read:

"saja boys: the idol awards' most mysterious finalists"

yeah, no kidding.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

y/n couldn't sleep that night because of the way he looked at her. the way he said her name, the way his voice wavered, just a little, when he said, "being around me isn't a game." that was real. it felt real.

and that's what scared her.

because if he was faking it, then she was just another gullible girl getting played. but if he wasn't...
if that fear in his voice was real, then maybe she had no idea what she was actually stepping into.

and either way, she was already in too deep.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

the next morning came with an overcast sky and a low, humming sort of quiet. the kind that settled under your skin, even when the world looked normal.

y/n pulled her hoodie tighter over her head as she stepped outside. her bus stop was crowded, as usual, students pressed shoulder to shoulder while half awake commuters scrolled on their phones. She tried to do the same, but her brain wouldn't stop circling the same things over and over again.

it wasn't like her to spiral. not over a boy. not even over him.

but something about this didn't feel like a crush anymore.

something about him felt wrong. not in a scary way exactly, but in a way that didn't line up with reality. like he was part of a story she didn't know the plot to.

her tutoring shift that evening was quiet. her only student was a fourth year who barely spoke unless prompted, which gave her time to catch up on her project work.

she sat at the back of the empty study center, chewing on her pen and trying to finalize her group's idol awards timeline. there were deadlines for visual design mockups, press release drafts, fake campaign schedules. they were supposed to create a full promo plan as if they were the agency behind one of the competing groups.

hana and soojin had chosen huntr/x.

y/n had reluctantly taken the saja boys side. she clicked open her draft page. it was blank. instead of writing the brand narrative she was supposed to, she opened a new doc and typed:

what if a group wasn't just an idol group? what if there was something else behind the fame? what if people were disappearing because something was being taken from them?

she stared at the blinking cursor.

then hit delete.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

that night, she dreamed of him. not in the fun way. in the weird, unsettling way. they were standing in a spotlight. somewhere empty and echoing. she couldn't tell if it was a subway station or a stage. jinu was staring at her, completely still, while shadows moved behind him like smoke in water. he looked older. tired. his jacket hung off one shoulder, and his eyes were hollow.

"you have to leave," he said.

y/n tried to answer, but her voice didn't work.

"you're not supposed to be here."

the shadows moved faster. they were creeping toward her. swirling into shape. and then she woke up. sweating and her heart racing. and for some reason, even though it was just a dream, even though she knew it wasn't real, the first thing she did was check her phone. no messages, no news, no update.

still, she couldn't shake the feeling that the dream hadn't come from nowhere. that maybe, somehow, she'd seen something she wasn't meant to. 

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

the hum of fluorescent lights buzzed faintly in the huntr/x surveillance room in their penthouse. the glow of monitors bathed the room in blue, casting long shadows across ramen cups, scribbled notes, and a whiteboard full of scribbles as well.

the footage from earlier flickered on the main screen again. paused. grainy but clear enough: a crowd of fans outside the rehearsal building. then jinu. then the girl, y/n.

zoey leaned back in her chair, tapping a pen against her lips as she watched y/n grab jinu's sleeve, pulling him out of the chaos. the clip looped, then slowed. again. and again.

"she doesn't know what he is," rumi murmured. "she just thought he needed help."

mira didn't say anything. her arms were crossed, eyes locked on the frame like she could read something deeper in it.

the audio tech scrubbed through the clip, isolating a nearly missed fragment of dialogue. jinu's voice came through the speakers:

"being around me isn't a game."

zoey glanced toward mira. "so...what, he's warning her now? that's new."

rumi frowned. "it's not like the others. he hesitated. you saw it too, right?"

there was a quiet beat. 

mira finally stepped forward, expression unreadable but thoughtful. she looked at the screen, not at jinu, but at y/n. the way she stood in the alley. how she didn't flinch or run.

"it's not nothing," she said. "demons don't hesitate."

"unless part of him still remembers what it was like to be human," rumi said quietly.

zoey snorted. "that's optimistic."

but mira didn't dismiss it.

"she could be a tether," she said, more to herself than anyone else.  

there was no malicious edge to it. just a truth, the kind they'd learned the hard way. people get close. people break. and sometimes, that's how things come undone.

rumi looked uneasy. "you want to bring her in?"

"not yet." mira shook her head. "it's not time."

"but she's involved now, whether she knows it or not," zoey muttered. "he looked at her like, i don't know. like he remembered something."

mira didn't argue. she reached for a marker and circled y/n's face on the whiteboard, then added a question mark beside it.

"she might be the one thing he wasn't supposed to feel," she said. "and if he falls-"

she let the rest hang in the silence.

they all knew what that meant.

Chapter Text

it started with a simple search.

y/n sat at her desk late into the night, her laptop screen casting a pale glow over her cluttered workspace. a half eaten granola bar sat forgotten next to a tangle of highlighters and printouts for her media theory assignment. but instead of pulling up a new source for her project, she was typing something else into the search bar.

saja boys profile
saja boys label
jinu birthday real name
where did saja boys train

each search turned up... not much. not nothing, there were articles, sure, and fan made compilations, edits, theories, tiktoks. but all the official content felt curated, almost sterile. press blurbs, debut stage interviews, flashy behind the scenes that somehow gave away nothing at all. rven the company behind them, paradiso entertainment, had a weirdly minimal digital footprint for a label of its size. no staff bios. no training program blogs. no old trainee stories.

just slick pr.

it didn't sit right with her.

y/n wasn't a conspiracy theorist or anything. she didn't usually spiral over google results at 1:30 in the morning. but something about the way the edges of the saja boys blurred, like their pasts had been airbrushed out, made her skin itch. and it wasn't just curiosity anymore. it was personal. ever since the alley.

jinu's voice still echoed in her head.

"being around me isn't a game."

her fingers hovered over the keyboard. she tried a new search:
jinu predebut

just more promo fluff. a blurry screenshot from what might've been a school performance. the caption claimed it was him, but the face was turned too far to say for sure.

she let out a breath and leaned back in her chair. her eyes flicked toward her phone, which was lighting up with group chat messages from hana and soojin.

hana
omg did u see the insta post??

they're doing another teaser drop tomorrow???

soojin
u mean the one where baby has his shirt half off?? yes i saw it. i saw it 12 times

hana
ok y/n your bf is in the back of the pic looking LIKE THAT and u still gonna pretend this is all for the bet

Y/N
first of all he's not my bf

second of all i'm actually working right now?? y'all are unwell

soojin
"working" she says while googling his blood type

hana
we're not judging

we're just

noticing things

like how u bring him up every time we hang out 👀

y/n groaned and tossed her phone onto the bed, burying her face in her hands. she wasn't obsessed. she was just... confused. that was allowed. she hadn't signed up for feelings when she agreed to hana's dumb challenge. it was supposed to be a harmless game. tease the untouchable guy, see if he cracked. nut something had shifted.

and she didn't like that it was starting to feel real.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

the next morning, campus was buzzing. not just about the idol awards, though those were still the main topic of conversation, but something else.

"did you hear about minseo?" someone whispered near the vending machines as y/n passed.

"what happened?"

"she's been missing for two days. her roommate said she never came back after her night class."

y/n slowed her steps. her stomach turned.

"that's not the first person, right?" another voice said. 

"are you kidding me?" the original person responded. "this is like the 50th. all within the past few weeks."

"people disappear all the time in seoul," soojin said later when y/n brought it up. "you know how easy it is to fall off the grid here? especially with all these desperate influencers and fake agencies."

"but it's weird," hana murmured. "there's posters going up now. and the cops are giving, like, nothing to the press."

y/n didn't say anything. she just folded the flyer she'd picked up on her walk to class. minseo's photo stared up at her, bright eyes, a wide smile. 

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

she didn't expect to see him again so soon.

it was one of those washed out tuesday afternoons where the sky hung low like wet concrete and the whole city seemed to exhale in gray. y/n had just finished a portfolio workshop in the east wing of the old music building, and her shoulders still ached from sitting hunched over a sketchpad for too long. she'd slipped in her headphones out of habit but hadn't pressed play. the silence felt easier somehow. 

she cut through the back courtyard on autopilot, eyes on the cracked tiles beneath her sneakers, when something, or someone, registered in the corner of her vision.

she slowed. standing just outside the covered archway, half shadowed by one of the thick pillars, was a figure in black. hoodie pulled up. ball cap low. sunglasses on, despite the cloud cover.

but unmistakable. jinu.

y/n blinked, stopping in her tracks. her first reaction wasn't surprise, not really. It was more like... disbelief. Like seeing a dream bleed into real life. and then, the longer she stared, the more wrong it felt. he looked different.

not in the way that he always managed to look different, like some living editorial spread that walked and smirked and sang in perfect pitch. this was something else. his posture was off. shoulders curled inward like they were bearing more weight than usual. hands buried deep in his hoodie pocket. head dipped, chin tilted down like he was watching something no one else could see.

gone was the icy idol presence. the practiced smirk. the gaze that usually sliced through crowds like he knew he owned the room. this jinu didn't seem aware of anyone watching. didn't even seem aware he was being seen.

y/n felt it in her gut, the twist of something sharp and uncertain. a voice in the back of her mind told her to let it go. keep walking. pretend you didn't see anything. he clearly didn't want to be found. but before she could make a decision, his head lifted. their eyes met. he froze. so did she.

the courtyard went quiet around them. even the breeze held its breath. he didn't move, didn't flinch, just stared for one suspended second too long. then, like a switch flipped, his head turned toward the alley behind him, gaze dropping. the wall was back up like it had never left.

still, y/n's feet carried her forward before her brain caught up. she crossed the uneven stones slowly, carefully, as if not to spook him.

"hey," she said, barely above a whisper.

he didn't move. didn't speak. the stillness in him was eerie, not tense, exactly, just distant, like his mind hadn't fully returned from wherever it had wandered off to.

she tried again. "you okay?"

a few beats passed. then he turned his head, just slightly, and looked at her.

there was a flicker there. not warmth or recognition. but something... startled. like he wasn't expecting to be pulled back into reality by her voice.

then it vanished, replaced with that cool, unreadable mask she remembered from their first meetings. a hint of caution sharpened the edge of his expression.

"what are you doing here?" he asked finally, voice low and even.

she lifted a brow. "i could ask you the same thing. kind of a random spot for seoul's golden boy."

that earned her the ghost of a reaction. not a smile, but the smallest exhale through his nose, like he almost found it funny, but didn't have the energy to commit.

"don't call me that," he said.

"touchy," she murmured, but without bite. her gaze studied him more carefully now. he looked pale under the streetlight haze, like he hadn't slept, like whatever front he usually wore in public was barely holding itself together at the seams.

and for once... he wasn't performing. not the stage persona, not the pr friendly idol, not even the cold, calculated version she'd met.

he just looked.. tired. and not the physical kind. it made something squeeze in her chest.

she hesitated. words sat on the tip of her tongue. real ones. she wanted to say, ive been thinking about what you said. or even, you looked scared that night. why?

but before she could speak, his voice cut through the moment.

"You shouldn't be near me."

y/n blinked. "okay. rude."

"im serious," he said, firmer now.

she stepped back slightly but didn't drop her gaze. "you mean for, like... pr reasons? or..."

he didn't answer. didn't even look at her. but the silence was louder than anything he could've said.

y/n's stomach did a slow turn. whatever he wasn't saying hung between them like fog.

she opened her mouth again, then thought better of it. forced a dry laugh instead. "fine. message received."

she turned, boots scraping lightly against the stone.

but as she shifted, her arm brushed his. just barely. enough to feel the heat of him, the tension in himself, the way he jolted just slightly, almost imperceptibly, but didn't move away.

she paused. almost looked back. but she didn't. her steps echoed as she crossed the courtyard, quicker now. And even though he didn't call after her, didn't say another word...she could feel it. his eyes still on her. like he wasn't sure whether he should've stopped her. or whether he was grateful she left.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

rumi folded her arms, gaze fixed on the surveillance monitor as she leaned slightly closer.

"he's talking to her again," she said, her voice even.

zoey, perched casually on the desk behind her, tilted her head and squinted at the playback. "same girl from the alley?"

"yeah," rumi confirmed. "civilian."

mira stood off to the side, arms crossed, her expression unreadable. her jaw twitched, like she was holding something back.

"why her?" mira asked finally. "he barely blinks at anyone- when hes not being his charasmatic manipulative self at least." she grimaced.

zoey leaned forward, eyebrows raised. "maybe she blinked back."

rumi didn't react to the joke, though the corners of her mouth threatened to twitch. her attention stayed locked on the screen. she rewound the footage just slightly, back to the frame where Y/N brushed Jinu's arm.

"that's the second time she's stepped into his... space," rumi said, trying to find the right word. "and the second time he didn't shut it down."

mira exhaled through her nose. "he's slipping."

"or..." Zoey's voice lowered. "he's starting to change."

rumi didn't respond right away. the flickering light from the monitor caught in her eyes as she stared at the still frame: y/n looking up at him, unaware of the weight pressing on either side of her.

"emotion causes imbalance," rumi murmured, more to herself than the others. "and imbalance cracks the seal."

she straightened, pulling herself back into the role she wore best, composed, decisive.

"we'll watch it closely," she said. "if she's his tether, we'll use her. the honmoon is already bad as it is."

a beat passed. then mira nodded once..

zoey just muttered, "let's hope she doesn't get caught in the crossfire."

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

y/n couldn't stop thinking about how off jinu had seemed. there was something heavy in the way he moved, like whatever weight he carried was starting to sink into his bones. and maybe she wouldn't have noticed it before. maybe if she hadn't seen his face shift that night in the alley, hadn't heard the fear behind his carefully composed words, she would've chalked it up to exhaustion, or idol stress, or whatever reason fans gave when their favorite started looking a little too human.

but she had seen it. and now it was getting harder to look away.

that week, she found herself spiraling again. more searches. more dead ends. there were no fancams from before debut. no pre fame dance battles, no cringey trainee vlogs. even the old performance stages that did exist felt weirdly... controlled. edited, overproduced. as if they'd been scrubbed to remove something.

y/n even checked some shady forums. ones where obsessive fans dumped "theories" that usually sounded like pure delusion. clones, vampires, soul swaps. it was ridiculous.

except... one thread caught her eye.

"i was at a live taping & something was OFF"
by user lilysaidstop

y/n clicked, expecting fanfiction.

but the first post was a photo: a blurry backstage shot taken from the side wings. the angle was terrible, but in the far corner, you could just barely make out the saja boys standing in formation. their backs to the camera.

there was a faint... glow. almost like light was bending around them. y/n frowned. the replies were mostly trolls or people clowning. one said the user was "editing or hallucinating." another claimed it was just a lens flare. but the op had commented again.

"I SWEAR their faces glitched. i thought i was going crazy. even the staff acted like nothing happened. but you know that feeling when you're NOT supposed to be seeing something?"

that sent a chill down her spine.

she backed out of the thread quickly. closed the tab. but even with the screen dark, her thoughts kept whirring.

she'd been to one of their street performances, right at the start of the semester. back when she didn't even like them, or claimed she didn't. she remembered jinu's voice so clearly that day, that wild charisma that didn't seem real.

she also remembered a girl fainting in the crowd. just... collapsing. at the time, y/n thought it was the heat. or the crush of fans. but now...

she shook her head. "no," she muttered aloud. "don't be weird."

still, her mind wouldn't stop replaying the moment he looked her in the eye last time. the flash of something like guilt. or grief.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

by the weekend, the posters had multiplied.

every streetlamp near campus had a new missing-person flyer taped to it. and they weren't all students. some were dancers. background staff. interns. people who were there one day and gone the next. hana pointed at one of the posters as they walked toward the train. "that girl used to be a backup dancer for nova crew," she said quietly. "remember her? the one with the buzzcut?"

"yeah," y/n said. her voice felt too small. "she used to eat lunch behind the arts building."

soojin chewed her gum and shook her head. "okay, but this is getting weird, right?"

"it's been weird," hana muttered.

"and you're not freaked out?" soojin asked y/n.

she paused. "im trying not to be."

"you're the one who's been poking around saja boys stuff like it's a crime scene," soojin said, nudging her. "what if it is connected?"

y/n frowned. "that's not funny."

"i wasn't joking."

they all went quiet.

a train screeched into the station. people pushed past, lost in their own worlds. but for a split second, y/n felt like the three of them were standing still in the middle of something bigger. something... closing in.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

that night, huntr/x gathered around a circular table lit from beneath.

the seal was weakening. they could feel it, and see it. 

rumi laid a map on the table. "that's 25 disappearances this week," she said, tapping locations in red. "all near performance sites."

zoey's jaw clenched. "it's getting faster."

"they're feeding again," mira said simply.

there was a silence.

then Rumi added, "and jinu's getting... inconsistent."

mira didn't reply.

zoey looked up. "you've seen the footage. he hesitates."

"she's the tether," mira said, voice calm but firm. "that's the only explanation."

rumi raised a brow. "so... you still think we can use her?"

there was a long pause.

then mira nodded. 

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

meanwhile, back in her tiny apartment, y/n stared at her phone. a new post had gone up on the saja boys' official account, a moody black and white teaser image for their upcoming idol awards performance.

all five of them in silhouette.

jinu stood front and center, one hand raised, head tilted like he was mid laugh. the caption read: "the ones you know... and the ones you don't."

it gave her goosebumps.

she scrolled down to the comments. thousands of hearts and emojis, people screaming about the fits. but none of them saw what she saw.

she stared at the image for a long time. something about the shadows behind them looked wrong. she clicked out of the app, and opened a blank google doc. she started writing everything she couldn't say out loud. the document stayed open on y/n's laptop for hours.

she didn't know what she was writing at first. just... thoughts. disjointed, messy. things she didn't want to say out loud in case they sounded too dramatic.

"something's off about him. i don't know why i care this much."

"it wasn't just fear in his voice. it was something else. like guilt. like regret."

"what kind of idol looks at you like he's already lost something?"

she leaned back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. her fan creaked gently above her, a soft rhythm that usually helped her fall asleep. but not tonight. her brain wouldn't stop spinning.

what was it about jinu?

it wasn't just the bet anymore. even hana and soojin had stopped teasing her about it, probably because they noticed the change, too. the way y/n had started getting quiet when his name came up. the way she scrolled past his interviews but always ended up doubling back. the way she tried to act like she didn't care at all... while sitting awake at 2 a.m. thinking about one sentence from him on a darkened street.

"being around me isn't a game."

she had to be imagining the weight behind it. right?

right?

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

monday morning, she barely made it to her design internship on time. she was running on three hours of sleep, and her caffeine tolerance was officially shot. but she still found herself zoning out during their moodboard pitch session, doodling tiny wolves in the corner of her notepad. without realizing it, she gave one of them jinu's jawline.

she ripped the page out before anyone could see.

at lunch, her mentor tried making small talk. "did you hear about that street performer who went missing last week? the one who used to dance outside deokchang station?"

y/n looked up, heart skipping. "was she part of a group?"

the woman frowned. "no. i think she usually danced solo. just a college kid trying to make it. cute style, though. i saw her perform once. real energy."

y/n's throat felt dry. "and she's... just gone?"

"vanished," the woman said, flipping through color swatches. "it's all over community blogs. crazy right?"

y/n nodded slowly. her stomach turned. the name wasn't familiar, but still. it was another one. another person lost to whatever this was.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

that night, it rained.

not the soft, movie scene kind of rain. not gentle drizzles that danced over rooftops or the kind that made you want to hold hands under a single umbrella.

it was a downpour.

the sky had split open sometime after midnight, and the storm rolled in like it was angry at the world. rain hammered the sidewalks in sheets, bouncing off parked cars and flooding the gutters. thunder cracked in the distance, not loud enough to shake windows, but enough to make the air feel alive, charged, like something was waiting to happen.

y/n stood beneath the awning outside her apartment building, clutching a folded umbrella in one hand and a tote bag in the other, though she hadn't moved in minutes. she'd come home late from a study group, hands still smelling faintly of highlighter ink and cafeteria ramen, but now she just... stood there.

watching the rain.

there was something strange about the night. something in the air. it pressed against her skin in a way she couldn't explain, heavier than humidity, colder than the breeze. like the sky was holding its breath. like the city was on the edge of something.

she wasn't sure what made her turn around. she didn't hear footsteps. didn't sense anyone approach. just a shift. a change in gravity. then a voice behind her, low and quiet, cut through the downpour.

"you shouldn't be out alone this late."

she flinched.

spun.

and there he was.

jinu.

he stood at the far end of the block, just beyond the flickering glow of the nearest streetlamp. no umbrella. no jacket. his hoodie clung to him like a second skin, soaked through, black fabric hugging the sharp lines of his arms and chest. rain ran in thin rivulets down the side of his face, glistening against his jaw and pooling at the collar of his shirt like he didn't even notice.

or didn't care.

y/n blinked. "jinu...?"

he didn't answer right away. just stood there, unmoving and unreadable like a shadow that had stepped out of the dark.

he looked different.

not just because he wasn't polished or styled or flanked by security. this wasn't a photoshoot. this wasn't a magazine spread or stage lights or curated angles. this was raw and real. there was a tension in his shoulders that hadn't been there before. his head was bowed slightly, as if listening to something she couldn't hear. his hands hung loose at his sides, but his jaw was clenched tight, like he was holding something back.

she took a small step forward. "how did you-?"

he cut her off with a glance.

his eyes were tired. not in the way idols joked about being tired after 12 hour rehearsals or 3 a.m. livestreams. this was different. this was the kind of tired that sank into your bones. the kind that came from carrying a secret so heavy it started to change the way you walked.

he started toward her.

slowly.

each step sloshed through the shallow puddles, sending ripples across the glistening pavement. the sound of the rain around them grew muted under the awning, but the world still felt loud. too loud. or maybe it was just her heart, thudding like it had something to say before she could.

y/n didn't move. not yet.

he stopped a few feet from her, just under the edge of the awning's cover, the water dripping from his hoodie in slow, steady drops. close enough that she could see the faint purpling near his temple, a small gash, almost healed. like something sharp had grazed him.

she frowned. "what happened to your face?"

"fan accident," he said, too fast and too smooth.

she gave him a look. "is that true?"

there was a pause.

a breath.

then- "no."

that single word made something flip in her chest. he hadn't meant to say it. or maybe he had. but either way, it landed between them like a stone dropped in water, quiet but impossible to ignore.

she studied him for a long moment.

"whats going on with you? you look... different tonight."

"im not."

"but you-"

"you shouldn't be asking that," he said.

her voice dropped. "then stop showing up."

that made him pause.

something flickered in his expression, a crease in the mask. not quite guilt or regret. just... something. he didnt respond. just left it at that for a moment.

"you asked what's going on with me," he said finally.

she nodded.

he took a breath. then another. then-

"im not who you think i am."

y/n opened her mouth. closed it again. that wasn't the answer she'd been expecting. but the way he said it made her stomach twist.

"you're just being dramatic," she tried, weakly.

jinu's mouth twitched. not quite a smile. "you have no idea."

and then the streetlight above them flickered. just once. and in that half second of stuttering light, something shifted. her eyes caught it, barely. a flicker beneath the neckline of his hoodie. thick lines, dark and curling, like violet ink bleeding underwater. sharp, elegant, otherworldly. they shimmered against his skin, glowing faintly like something alive.

she blinked.

gone.

"what was that?" she whispered, breath catching.

jinu froze.

his shoulders tensed. subtle, but she noticed. the shift in his posture. the way his eyes dropped to the sidewalk, jaw locked.

"it's nothing," he said.

but she stepped forward. slowly. carefully. and, just barely, brushed his arm with her fingers.

he flinched.

not visibly but she felt it. the way he stiffened beneath her touch. the way he held his breath like he was afraid of what might happen if he let it out.

"was it a tattoo?" she asked softly. "a real one?"

"y/n," he said, and this time his voice was sharp. a warning. 

it was the way he said her name that made her freeze.

he'd never said anythig like that before. not in interviews, not teasingly, not even in annoyance. this was different. this was a name laced with something heavy. like saying it tasted like ash. like saying it cost him something.

"im sorry," she whispered, stepping back again.

he didn't look at her. didn't move.

the rain outside intensified, slamming against the awning in waves, drowning the city in static. the world had gone gray. cold.

he spoke without turning. "you should go inside."

"and you?" she asked, voice barely above the rain.

he was silent for a long moment.

then he said, "this is where i belong."

and before she could stop him, before she could find the right words or grab his sleeve or ask what he meant, he stepped backward into the storm.

the rain swallowed him whole.

by the time she called out, he was already gone, fading into the downpour like he'd never been there to begin with.

y/n barely slept that night.

she curled beneath her blanket, clothes still damp from the walk home, the sound of rain clinging to her skin like a memory. every time she closed her eyes, she saw that flash of ink beneath his collarbone. the look on his face when she said his name. the way he stood in the storm like it was more familiar than her voice.

it wasn't just idol exhaustion. it wasn't just stage stress or pr damage control or another late night rehearsal. it was something else. something darker.

her journal sat open on her desk, half forgotten and half rain spattered from her bag. she hadn't written in it for a while.

but now, hands shaking slightly, she picked up her pen and scrawled:

there's something he's not saying.

and i think...

i think it scares him too.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

tuesday was overcast. the kind of day that made everything feel too quiet.

y/n tried to focus at work, but even her boss noticed something was off.

"uou okay, kid?"

"huh? oh yeah. just didn't sleep."

"you're not getting too caught up in those saja boys, are you?" her boss teased, elbowing her lightly.

y/n forced a laugh. "no. Definitely not."

But the truth was harder to push down. because ever since last night, nothing felt normal. she couldn't stop thinking about his voice. the way he said, "im not who you think i am," like he desperately needed someone to believe him... and hated himself for it.

and those lines. on his skin. not ink. not paint. alive. moving. was it lighting? her imagination? she didn't know anymore.

by the time she got home, her phone was already lighting up with messages from soojin.

soojin

hey did u hear what happened to that guy in our elective?

like the quiet one who always wore headphones

gone. no one's seen him since friday

his roommate just filed a missing person report

y/n blinked. another one?

y/n

u sure? what the hell is happening lately?

soojin

ikr. people are just disappearing

it's actually freaking me out now

hana says there's like forums talking about it

y/n stared at the messages. her fingers hovered over the keys, then stopped.

because no matter how ridiculous it sounded, no matter how crazy it sounded, her first thought wasn't: is this connected to the saja boys?

her first thought was: is this connected to jinu?

she hated that.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

a hush fell over the room.the monitors glowed, footage flickering, looped, slowed, reversed, paused. the same clip over and over:  

jinu. standing in the rain. talking to her.

his hood was down. face exposed. vulnerable in a way he never allowed himself to be. and worse, he didn't seem to care who saw it.

not even them.

mira stood in front of the main screen, arms locked across her chest, jaw tense. her eyes narrowed as she watched the frame freeze on the girl's face, y/n. lips slightly parted. rain clinging to her lashes.

behind her, zoey was perched on the edge of a desk, fingers tapping fast across a backlit keyboard.

"she's in deep," zoey murmured. "deeper than she should be. and not just by accident."

"she keeps showing up," mira said flatly, arms tightening. "and he keeps letting her."

"that's the third unplanned encounter in five days." zoey clicked something. a side panel opened, listing timestamps. "two off route sightings. one direct approach. all outside sanctioned zones."

"she's not just some fan," mira added, voice clipped. "he doesn't talk to fans like that."

"he's different around her," rumi said quietly. "slipping."

mira glanced over her shoulder. "then we shut it down."

rumi tilted her head. "too late for that."

they all turned back as the enhanced audio kicked in, jinu's voice, low and ragged, like it had cost him something just to say it:

"im not who you think i am."

the words echoed through the room.

zoey let out a soft scoff. "no kidding."

mira didn't move. "he's not even hiding it anymore."

"no," rumi said, standing now. her voice didn't rise, but it didn't need to. "he wants her to see it."

that sent a quiet through them again.

zoey was quiet for a moment, her earlier sarcasm fading. then she said, softly, "what if it's not just about her? what if... she's the only thing keeping him from going full demon?"

mira spun to face her. "that's not our job, zoey. we don't save demons."

"she's not a weapon," zoey argued. "she's a person."

Mira arched a brow. "and people die when we hesitate."

the tension crackled. rumi stepped between them, calm but firm.

"she doesn't know the truth," she said. "but the tether's forming. whatever he is, whatever he's becoming, she's grounding him."

"and if it snaps?" mira asked. "if gwi ma finds out and uses her against us?"

rumi's expression didn't change, but something in her voice turned cold.

"then we get to her first."

zoey's face fell. "you don't mean-"

"i mean we prepare every outcome." rumi moved closer to the monitor, eyes fixed on the paused frame: jinu, rain soaked and raw. y/n, just steps away, looking like she saw him, not the idol, not the demon, him.

a kind of connection none of them could fake.

"she's either his liability," rumi said, "or she's our leverage."

a long pause. then:

"we can use her."

mira didn't blink.

zoey looked down.

the silence that followed felt like the quiet before a battle. like something had shifted. and there was no going back.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

thunder rolled in the distance. y/n pulled her knees to her chest, the glow of her laptop casting shadows on her face.

she should've been writing. or editing. or doing literally anything productive. but all she could do was scroll. forums. threads. comment sections. disappearances. "freak accidents." rumors about "something wrong" with seoul's underground scene. whispers that never quite turned into headlines.

it was too scattered to be a pattern. but she felt it.

and then, at the bottom of one thread, half deleted, buried under reposted memes and troll accounts, a comment caught her eye.

i saw something weird at the saja boys show last week. one of the backup dancers glitched on the screen. his face. it morphed. like it wasn't human.

her heart dropped. she read it twice. three times. no replies. no source. already flagged for removal. but it was there. a glitch. a face that didn't look human. she shut her laptop fast, like slamming it would silence her thoughts. but the echo stayed. the fear creeping in again. the voice from the alley. the look in his eyes.

'im not who you think i am.'

And maybe, just maybe, that meant she was finally starting to see him.

not as an idol. but as something else. something real. and that terrified her more than anything.

Chapter Text

hana didn't even knock when she barged into y/n's apartment that morning.

"wear something cute, but not like, desperate," she said, dropping a large iced coffee and a pastry bag on the kitchen counter like it was a bribe. "and pack your camera. you're coming with me."

y/n blinked, still in pajama shorts, hair tied up in a half sloppy bun. "what?"

hana just sipped from her own cup. "friend of a friend pulled through. i told you, my cousin's roommate's older sister is working on some behind the scenes content for their idol awards promo campaign? well, she needed an extra hand for the morning shoot. and i may have mentioned your name. and your media studies track. and how you're mildly obsessed with the saja boys-"

"i am not obsessed-"

"anyway, you're coming. you'll be listed as a junior content assistant or something. bring a lens wipe and pretend you know what you're doing."

y/n stared at her. "you're serious?"

"deadly."

"do they know im... like, not a real intern?"

"they know you're a student. same thing."

y/n hesitated. then glanced at the pastry bag. "is that a cheese danish?"

"two," hana said sweetly. "now go get dressed."

y/n was quiet on the subway ride there. not because she was nervous, exactly, but because something about the whole thing didn't feel real. she had googled and re googled everything about the saja boys over the past few days, and it was starting to bug her how little turned up.

no high school photos. no pre debut interviews. no baby faced training clips from when they were barely teens, which was practically the default for every idol these days. it was like they didn't exist before they debuted.

even their label was weirdly locked down. no founder name. no ceo face. just a sleek black website with one press release from last year and an uncontactable "media inquiries" inbox.

y/n wasn't sure what she expected, but something about it all set her teeth on edge. like staring at a picture that looked fine until you really looked, and then suddenly everything was slightly... off.

still, she said nothing. hana was too excited to notice, bouncing in place as they waited at the security desk outside the studio building.

"i swear, if i get to hold a reflector board behind mystery, i might die," she whispered.

y/n smiled. "you're so calm and collected."

"you should see me when i meet my future husband."

a staff member scanned their names and passed over temporary ID badges.

"try not to faint," the girl behind the desk muttered with a half smile. "they've already had three interns quit this week."

y/n paused. "why?"

the girl just shrugged. "long hours."

but something in her voice didn't match the words.

the studio itself was sleek and ice cold. every wall was polished glass and chrome. a light fog machine hissed softly from the corner, pumping atmosphere for the shoot.

the saja boys were already there.

and they were nothing like y/n expected.

romance was perched sideways on a high stool, legs spread wide for balance, spinning a makeup brush in one hand and a powder compact in the other. he wasn't using either. just humming some jazzy riff and winking at his own reflection every few seconds like it was a date he was trying to impress. every now and then he'd strike a pose, chin up, cheekbones out, full smolder, and laugh softly at himself. like even he knew it was ridiculous and did it anyway just to keep things fun.

abby, shirt rolled up, abs fully visible (of course), was blocking the main light source with one arm and examining the shadows it cast across his stomach. "there it is," he announced. "the perfect line. get the stylist. someone bring glitter."

the stylist in question didn't even blink. just handed him a bottle of water and kept taping double sided fashion tape to the inside of his blazer.

mystery stood stiffly by the vanity, one hand gripping a brush and the other buried in baby's hair. "stop moving," he muttered, as baby snorted and wriggled away like a child. "you look like you lost a fight with a lightning storm."

"you say that like it's a bad thing," baby chirped, twisting around to smile upside down at him. "what if i'm inventing a new trend? chaos core."

"you're inventing a headache."

"your face is inventing a headache."

"that doesn't even make sense."

"neither do you, but here we are."

none of it felt polished. not the way they looked onstage.

but then there was Jinu.

he stood off to the side, near the monitor rack, the shadows casting hard lines across his face. arms crossed. feet planted. silent. not tense exactly, just still. like movement would cost him something he couldn't afford to spend.

his gaze wasn't on the others. or the mirror. or the screen.

it was somewhere else entirely.

y/n felt her eyes catch on him like they always did, drawn in without her meaning to be. and for one short second, he looked back.

she dropped her gaze fast.

the crew wasn't allowed to film this part, "sensitive ip," someone said, so y/n and hana had been tasked with helping the techs swap out lenses, reset feed monitors, and pretend not to eavesdrop on the saja boys.

hana nudged her. "you're staring again."

"am not."

"you so are."

"you drooled earlier."

"that was medical."

"you called mystery a 'cheekbone deity.'"

"involuntary religious reaction."

y/n elbowed her but couldn't help the grin tugging at her mouth. until her gaze drifted again.

this time, jinu was closer to the mirror wall. mystery stood across from him now, animatedly describing something with his hands, probably some twisted metaphor or obscure theory about stage lighting and fan psychology. jinu didn't smile. didn't roll his eyes. just nodded once, barely reacting, like he was underwater and only catching every other word.

his shoulders looked heavier than usual. not slouched. just... burdened. for lack of a better term.

"he's different," y/n murmured.

hana peeked over, following her line of sight. "you mean hotter in a broody 'i have a tragic destiny' kind of way?"

"no," y/n said, but too softly. "i mean, yeah, maybe. but not just that."

hana squinted, then looked back at her. "you're in so deep."

"shut up."

later, when the stylist shouted for more bobby pins and abby announced he was going on a shirtless hunger strike if they didn't fix the lighting, y/n found herself standing alone by the snack table, flipping through an empty clipboard just to look busy.

she didn't hear him approach.

"you again."

the voice hit before the presence did. low. even. unreadable.

y/n looked up.

jinu stood a few feet away, hands in his pockets, hoodie half zipped. not looming or posing. just... there. closer than he'd ever willingly been. her heart skipped a little.

"you sound thrilled," she said.

he blinked. "im not surprised."

"well, don't celebrate all at once."

a beat. his mouth twitched, not quite a smile, but something like it.

"you shouldn't be here," he said.

"wow," she said flatly. "great to see you too."

"im serious."

his tone wasn't harsh, but it had an edge. not like before not cold or annoyed.

"look," she said, lowering the clipboard, "if this is about that alley thing again-"

"it's not."

he didn't look at her. his eyes were on the others across the room, mystery throwing baby over his shoulder while abby laughed so hard he almost dropped his phone.

"they don't get it," he said quietly. "none of them do."

y/n paused. "get what?"

he didn't answer.

instead, he straightened, expression flattening. like he'd remembered something. or forced himself to.

and just like that, the moment was gone.

"i have to go," he said.

"right. you've got a very serious job of brooding in a corner."

she meant it as a joke. light teasing, like always.

but he didn't react.

in fact, he looked... upset. not at her. at himself.

"you should stay away from me," he said.

then he turned and walked off.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

across the room, half hidden behind a lighting rig on the second level, a girl leaned her elbows on the railing, legs swinging idly beneath her.

zoey.

she'd been up there for the past fifteen minutes, pretending to scroll through her phone while watching the stage below. the rehearsal lights made everything look dreamlike, glowing edges, shifting shadows, but her eyes stayed locked on two people.

jinu and y/n.

she watched him walk away, expression unreadable, then shifted her gaze back to the girl. same one from the alley.

what was it about her?

"yo," rumi's voice crackled in her earpiece. "romance is flirting with the lighting girl. again."

zoey smirked. "does he ever not?"

"he just offered to help her lift a sandbag. i think he flexed while doing it."

"god," zoey muttered. "copy."

"anything new on our civilian?" that was rumi again, more serious now.

zoey leaned forward slightly, watching as y/n messed with a clipboard near the snack table, clearly flustered. jinu was already halfway across the room, but even from up here, zoey could tell, his shoulders were tense. like part of him hadn't really left.

"she doesn't know," zoey said quietly. "not about him. not about any of it."

a pause.

then mira's voice joined the channel. "but he keeps watching her."

zoey nodded to herself. "yeah. even when he's not."

she glanced back at jinu. he wasn't looking at y/n anymore. not exactly. but his body language said enough, the angle of his stance, the way his eyes kept flicking back when he thought no one noticed.

"i don't get it," zoey said under her breath.

"you don't have to," mira replied. calm. certain. "we've got what we need."

zoey frowned. "you really think she's the one?"

"confirmation just came through," mira said. "she's his tether."

tether. the word sat heavy in zoey's stomach.

"and if he falls?" she asked, voice low.

on the other end, mira didn't answer right away.

then: "we use her to break the link."

below, y/n laughed awkwardly at something hana said, shaking her headand pretending like she wasn't still thinking about the way jinu's voice dropped when he said, you should stay away from me.

like he meant it. like it wasn't a warning but a confession.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

later in the afternoon, things began to wind down.

the main shots had wrapped. abby was filming some side content near the mirrors, freestyling goofy poses while mystery hyped him up off camera. baby had found the sound engineer's dog, a tiny pomeranian in a denim vest, and was now lying flat on the studio floor, making kissy faces at it. romance was mid ramble about lighting temperatures and how they affected his skin tone, though no one was actually listening.

jinu was sitting alone again, scrolling his phone, posture stiff.

y/n found herself watching him, half hidden behind a curtain near the gear carts. she didn't know why. it wasn't just curiosity anymore, something about the way he held himself, always alert, always slightly on guard, had started to dig under her skin. the others were so alive, even when they were annoying (atleast that's the side they show people). jinu looked like he was just trying to survive the room.

then someone moved into her peripheral vision. mystery.

he didn't look at her, but he knew she was there. she could tell by the way he angled his shoulder, casually blocking her view of jinu without making it obvious.

"Funny, isn't it?" he said under his breath.

y/n blinked. "what is?"

"how he's the quiet one without the view of a crowd and judgement, but still somehow the loudest in the room."

she glanced at him. "i didn't mean to stare."

"sure you didn't." but he smiled, not unkindly. "don't worry. we all do it sometimes."

she hesitated. "is he okay?"

mystery shrugged, still watching his friend.

"he's... always been like that," he said, tone softening. "even before the stage. doesn't let anyone in unless he has to. but he notices everything. every camera angle. every mic check."

y/n frowned. "that doesn't sound very fun."

"it's not."

she looked back at jinu. "do you think he wants to be here?"

mystery tilted his head like he was thinking about it. then smiled again, quieter this time.

"i think he made a deal a long time ago. and now he's just trying to live with it."

y/n didn't know what to say to that. she wanted to ask more, but mystery had already turned, walking back toward the others like he hadn't just dropped a grenade in her lap.

back near the makeup station, hana was fighting a silent war with herself over whether or not to ask romance for a selfie. she'd already opened her camera app twice and chickened out both times.

y/n wandered over, mind still stuck in the weird turn her afternoon had taken.

hana looked up. "you good?"

"yeah."

"you look like someone just told you your soulmate was allergic to bread."

y/n made a face. "what does that even mean?"

"it means your face is doing a thing and i don't trust it."

y/n plopped onto the bench beside her. "do you ever get the feeling someone's saying something, but they're not really saying it?"

"literally all the time. especially in group chats."

"i mean... like, they want you to hear something else. something underneath."

hana raised an eyebrow. "are we still talking about your mystery man?"

"i'm just saying," y/n muttered. "he's weird. and not in the 'im so edgy and unreadable' way. it's more like... he's afraid of something."

hana tilted her head. "afraid of you?"

y/n paused. "...maybe."

"well, that's not ominous at all."

y/n sighed and leaned back, staring at the ceiling. "i don't get it."

"maybe you're not supposed to."

"i hate that answer."

"i know."

they sat in silence for a beat. the noise of the studio faded around them, stylists packing up, crew chatting, someone loudly shouting at abby for putting lip gloss on the dog.

but y/n couldn't stop thinking about mystery's words.

he made a deal a long time ago.

what kind of deal? and what would it take to break it?

on the screen, a grainy loop played over and over. footage from earlier that day.

jinu, caught mid glance. not at the camera. at her. rumi stared, her jaw tight. he didn't look like a monster. not in that moment. that was the problem.

"he hesitated," she said quietly, arms crossed.

"he looked human," zoey corrected, leaning forward on her knees. "that's worse."

mira didn't speak right away. her eyes didn't leave the screen. jinu's expression wasn't readable but his body language was. the angle of his head. the pause in his step.

like part of him was somewhere else. like part of him was still trying to remember something.

"it's not just hesitation," mira said finally. "it's recognition."

"you think he knows her?" rumi asked.

"not consciously," mira said. "but there's something. she looked at him like he was just a guy. not a monster or demon or a god."

zoey sat back, chewing on her thumb ring. "that kind of look can mess a person up."

rumi gave her a side glance. "he's not a person."

"he was," zoey said. "and sometimes the worst thing you can do to someone like that... is remind them."

silence settled between them.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

y/n dreamed that night.

not vividly or in color. but she saw hands, pale, calloused, reaching through smoke. a voice calling her name in the dark. not urgent. just... broken. and eyes. familiar, dark, and haunted. she woke up with her heart pounding and no idea why.

the next morning felt heavier than usual.

it wasn't the dream. or, well maybe it was. y/n couldn't shake the weird haze it left behind. like she'd slept with her head underwater. she sat at the cafe across from the university campus, hands wrapped around her lukewarm coffee, staring through the glass like she was waiting for the city to explain itself.

"alright," soojin said, sliding into the seat across from her. "who is he?"

y/n blinked. "what?"

"you've been zoning out for the past week, and now you're moody and mysterious? girl."

"she's been like this since the studio," hana chimed in, unwrapping a muffin. "and don't say it's nothing because you've literally said the name 'jinu' more than you've said ours this week."

y/n groaned. "it's not like that."

hana gave her a look. "you defended his eyeliner on tuesday."

"because it was good eyeliner!"

"sure. that's why you couldn't stop staring at him like he killed your childhood pet."

y/n opened her mouth, then closed it again. she wasn't sure what she was trying to say, just that none of it came out right.

soojin leaned forward. "look. we're not judging. if you have a thing for ice cold mystery idols, that's your business. we just want to know if we should be worried."

y/n paused. then shook her head.

"no," she said. "you shouldn't be worried. im not even sure he notices me half the time."

both girls stared at her.

“girl,” she said slowly. “he uses your name.”

y/n opened her mouth, then frowned. “yeah, because i told him my name. like... literally. in a sentence.”

“once,” hana said, holding up a finger. “in a dim alley. with no cameras. and you weren’t even talking that long.”

“so?”

“so he remembered.”

y/n rolled her eyes. “i don’t see how that’s a big deal.”

“it’s a big deal,” soojin said. “he meets a hundred people a day and forgets 99 of them on purpose. you think idols memorize the names of random girls who show up behind buildings and give them sass?”

“first of all its probably only because i keep showing up.. and second! you make it sound so creepy!”

“it is creepy,” hana said. “but also kinda hot? like, hot in a ‘i’d be flattered but also mildly afraid for my safety’ way.”

y/n shook her head, laughing despite herself. “it’s not like that.”

but even as she said it, her brain flickered back to that first night they met. the low thrum of traffic. the streetlamp casting warm orange over his hoodie. the way his eyes met hers, cautious but focused, like she was more than just a passerby.

she stared down at her half melted drink.

“it’s not that deep,” she muttered, more to herself than anyone.

soojin raised an eyebrow. “mhmm.”

hana shoved another bite of muffin into her mouth. “sure. totally shallow. just your average emotionally complicated, MULTIPLE, run ins with a strange and attractive pop star.”

y/n didn’t answer. because honestly? she wasn’t so sure anymore.

a crowd gathered at the edge of a taped off street.

the news anchors were there again, too chipper for the subject matter, their expressions trained into something palatable.

another missing girl. mid twenties. student. last seen after a concert in hongdae. no signs of struggle. no leads. the posters were already printing. third one this week.

back in the saja boys' dorm, the mood had shifted.

not enough for anyone else to notice. not fans. not staff. not even the manager, who popped in every now and then to drop off scripts and smile like none of them were monsters. demons.

but the boys felt it. they still joked, still filmed their vlogs and posted curated candids like everything was fine, but it wasn't. not really.

romance noticed it first. he always did. not because he cared more than the others, but because he was tuned into the vibe, the way a performer had to be. his whole persona depended on reading the room.

so when he found jinu standing alone in the hallway, half lit by the flicker of a busted overhead bulb, something in him paused.

"yo." romance's voice was casual, leaning lazy against the wall, but his eyes were sharp. "you good?"

jinu didn't answer at first. one hand braced against the wall like it was the only thing holding him up. his head was down, hoodie still on from earlier, jaw clenched tight.

"you didn't say a word during choreo," romance added, tone lighter now, like a tease. "and mystery kept messing up your counts, which, by the way, was hilarious."

nothing.

romance sighed. "look, if you're about to combust or do the whole 'dark prince of the underworld' bit again, just give me a heads up. i don't wanna get soul ash on my sneakers."

that earned a small sound, half laugh, half exhale, but it didn't last.

"im fine," jinu said eventually, voice low.

romance didn't believe him. but he didn't push either.

he just nodded, backed off with a quick two finger salute. jinu didn't look up. once romance was gone, he finally turned toward the hallway mirror. his reflection stared back, perfect hair, perfect bone structure, every inch the idol. but the mask was slipping. he could feel it.

his fingertips burned. not visibly, but deep under the skin, the kind of burn that came from holding something back too long.

the flashes were getting worse. a woman's voice humming over a pot on the stove. a little girl laughing and calling his name. the smell of tangerine peel on new year's morning.

things he shouldn't remember. things that weren't supposed to be his anymore. he splashed water on his face in the bathroom sink. again. again. again. the marks on his body, the ones etched into him when he gave everything up, glowed faintly in the dim light. pulsing and restless. the honmoon was weakening. the seal was cracking. he should be happy. this was what they'd wanted, what gwi ma wanted. what he'd agreed to.

but something felt different now. someone. and that terrified him more than anything.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

in the flickering blue light of the huntr/x safehouse, reports streamed in faster than they could process.

a projection hovered above the table, sharp lines, glowing sigils, pulsing energy maps.

rumi stood still, her jaw tight as she watched the honmoon's seal flex and strain. it hadn't broken yet. but it was bending. warping. like glass under too much weight.

"it's thinning," she said. "pressure's building."

zoey hovered near the window, eyes reflecting rain and traffic below. "gwi ma's getting closer."

rumi flipped through the overlays. glowing traces of red curved like veins around one shape in particular.

"it's him, isn't it?" she asked. like she already knew.

mira didn't look up. "jinu."

zoey turned. "he's the only one who still hesitates."

the room quieted. outside, the night buzzed with neon and the low hum of sirens. thunder rolled in the distance, not loud, just steady. like a warning.

mira's voice was soft. "if he breaks... it won't wait for the awards. the gate could open early."

rumi exhaled slowly. "and if he doesn't?"

a beat.

then, without flinching, mira said:

"we use the girl."

zoey stiffened. "you're serious."

"he's already looking at her different," mira said. "she's a crack in the mask. we widen it."

rumi didn't respond. not right away.

she just stared at the projection, at the soft, blinking dot that marked y/n's last known position. no special training, no protection, just a civilian who got too close.

"we do what we have to," mira added.

zoey didn't argue. but she didn't agree either.

none of them said it aloud, that if y/n got caught in the collapse, she wouldn't walk away whole. and some cracks never sealed back shut.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

the next time she saw him, it wasn't planned.

y/n had just finished dropping off some files for a design internship she was barely holding onto, mostly thanks to hana's endless networking. she'd meant to head straight home after, but her path led her past the performance building again, the sleek one with the security gates and glass walls that always seemed too clean to be real.

she paused outside.

she didn't mean to stop. or hesitate. but something about the way the lights glowed behind the doors, cold and tinted with purple, made her stomach twist. and then the doors opened. and he was there. jinu stepped out with one of the managers, some older man in a suit who barely glanced at her. they were mid conversation, voices low and clipped.

"...if it gets worse, we need to notify-"

jinu stiffened when he saw her. just slightly. barely enough to notice.

y/n blinked. "oh. hi."

the manager gave her a look. that flicker of pr suspicion. but jinu cut in smoothly, voice calm. "she's... an intern. from the shoot."

the manager didn't question it. just nodded once and headed back inside, already muttering into his earpiece.

silence settled between them.

jinu looked different under the streetlights. softer, somehow. the harshness of the studio lights was gone, replaced by shadows that clung to the edges of his features. he didn't look cold this time. just... tired.

"i wasn't following you," y/n blurted, then instantly regretted it. "that sounded creepy. i meant- i was nearby. dropping something off. not that i was looking for you, because i wasn't."

he raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching. "you're terrible at lying."

she let out a nervous laugh. "yeah. i know."

a beat passed.

and then, for the first time in what felt like weeks, he didn't walk away.

instead, Jinu said quietly, "what are you doing here?"

y/n hesitated. "honestly? i don't know."

he nodded like he understood.

and somehow, that was worse than if he hadn't.

she studied him, noticing how he kept one hand pressed to his arm, like something underneath his jacket hurt. his movements were tight. contained. like someone holding in a scream through clenched teeth.

"are you okay?" she asked, softer this time.

jinu looked at her. really looked.

and for a second, he almost said something real. Something raw. but then his expression shuttered.

"you shouldn't ask questions like that," he said.

"why not?"

"because you don't want to know the answer."

something in her chest tugged. a warning, maybe. or curiosity. she wasn't sure.

y/n tried to make it lighter. teasing. "still cryptic, i see."

but he didn't smile.

his expression didn't shift, didn't soften. instead, he turned his gaze away, past her shoulder, toward the empty stretch of street behind her. the streetlamps buzzed faintly overhead, casting long shadows that slithered across the pavement like something alive. the distant hum of traffic layered with the flicker of neon from a convenience store window, a gentle reminder that the rest of the city kept moving, unaware.

and maybe that was what made his voice sound so quiet when it finally broke the silence, like it didn't quite belong here. like it came from somewhere else entirely.

"you shouldn't be near me."

his tone was low, barely more than a breath. not a warning. not a threat. just... a truth. one he didn't want to say out loud.

y/n blinked, caught off guard. "you said that already."

it came out more defensive than she meant. but before she could soften it, he looked back at her. and this time, he really looked.

his eyes, dark and sharp under the streetlights, locked with hers, and for a moment, everything else disappeared. the noise, the neon, the space between them. all of it.

"no," jinu said, and now his voice sounded different, clipped, tighter, like he was holding something back with both hands. like the words were cutting his throat on their way out. "i didn't mean it like before. i mean it now."

she didn't know what it was, the way his voice cracked, or the slight twitch of his fingers like they wanted to reach out and didn't, but her chest tightened.

he wasn't brushing her off. he was scared. not of her. of himself. he was unraveling at the edges and trying so hard to pretend he wasn't. and standing there, watching it happen in real time, made something deep in y/n ache.

the silence that followed was different than before. heavier. like it was sitting on both their shoulders.

she opened her mouth, no clue what she was going to say, just knowing she had to say something,

"hyung!"

the voice cut through the moment like glass shattering on concrete.

they both flinched.

baby came flying around the corner of the building like a puppy off leash, hoodie half zipped, hair sticking up like he'd just rolled off a couch. he held something in his hand, a phone? a water bottle? whatever it was, he clearly forgot about it the second he spotted y/n.

his face lit up. "oh! hey! it's her!"

jinu stiffened, the shift in him immediate. his body straightened, the tension coiling back into his shoulders. his expression smoothed into something familiar, the effortless charm he wore like a mask. the one he always pulled out in public. the one that made him impossible to read.

romance and abby appeared a second later, laughing about something from inside, still mid conversation. mystery trailed behind them, quiet as always, hood pulled up, hands in his pockets. his eyes were half hidden in the shadows, but y/n could still feel the weight of them as they landed on her.

"go inside," jinu said quietly, his voice suddenly low and urgent again. "now. before someone sees you."

but baby was already bounding toward them like a happy storm.

"you're the intern, right?" he said, beaming. "from the shoot? the one who almost tripped on the fog machine?"

y/n flushed, trying not to shrink under the sudden attention. "uh... yeah, that was me."

abby cocked her head, giving y/n a once over with a lazy sort of amusement. "she's cute," she said under her breath, though loud enough for it to register.

romance grinned. "careful, hyung," he teased, elbowing jinu lightly. "looks like you've got a fan."

mystery didn't speak. he didn't need to. his stare alone was enough to send a chill prickling up y/n's arms. unreadable. calculating.

jinu stepped forward, subtly but unmistakably placing himself between y/n and the others.

"leave her alone," he said.

not joking, teasing, or smiling.

the shift was palpable. even baby who was always the bright one, paused mid bounce.

"whoa," he said, blinking. "chill, hyung. we're just teasing."

but jinu didn't relax. he didn't laugh it off. his jaw was tight now, his hands clenched just slightly at his sides like he didn't trust them not to shake. whatever softness had flickered in him before, whatever part of him had almost let her in, it was gone.

the wall was back up. the mask, firmly in place. he looked at y/n again. something in his eyes was different now, not angry, not even cold. just distant. like the version of him she'd just been talking to didn't exist anymore.

"go home," he said. his voice was even. almost gentle. but it didn't leave room for argument.

y/n hesitated. not because she didn't want to leave, but because it felt like walking away from something she didn't fully understand yet.

still, she nodded. "right," she said quietly. "yeah. i should."

she turned. didn't look back.

but as she walked away, she caught baby's voice floating behind her, cheerful as ever. "she seems nice."

and then jinu's reply, soft and hollow, almost too quiet to hear:

"that's the problem."

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

y/n didn't go home right away.

she walked. just walked past the flickering neon signs of late night diners, the soft hum of passing cars, the stale warmth of the city at dusk. her thoughts raced too fast for her to keep up with them, tumbling over each other like waves crashing inside her chest.

that's the problem.

it shouldn't have meant anything. he said so little, always. a few words here and there, never more than necessary. but somehow, those three words carried more weight than full conversations with anyone else.

she seems nice. that's the problem.

she kicked at a loose pebble on the sidewalk, jaw clenched.

why did it bother her so much? why did it feel like that quiet, guarded statement had left a bruise?

because he looked at her like it mattered. because something flickered behind his eyes, not coldness or indifference, but fear. like she was one mistake away from falling into something she wouldn't be able to climb out of.

she pulled out her phone and opened her notes app. blank page. just a blinking cursor.

she typed, deleted, typed again.

"do you ever meet someone and it feels like you're walking into a locked room? like something's waiting in there, and once you go in, the door clicks shut behind you?"

she stared at it for a moment before locking her phone again.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

the next day, y/n showed up to work early. not because she wanted to. because she needed to do something, anything, other than think about him.

she was helping out with styling returns at the same building where the behind the scenes shoot had happened. officially, she was on an "observational internship," which meant she mostly fetched things and tried not to get in the way. but the upside was access. people didn't question someone with a clipboard and a lanyard.

the downside was running into the reason her brain felt scrambled.

she wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed when jinu wasn't there.

but the other saja boys were.

romance was lounging across two chairs, scrolling through his phone and humming under his breath. abby sat cross legged on the floor, a brush in one hand and someone's jacket half repaired in her lap. mystery leaned against the far wall, arms crossed, hood up as usual, earbuds in, but one was clearly unplugged.

and then there was baby.

"oh! It's clipboard girl," he grinned when he spotted her.

y/n blinked. "that... is definitely not my name."

"you sure? uou kind of look like one," he teased. "always lurking near doors with Important paper energy."

"i don't lurk," she said, trying not to laugh.

romance looked up. "you're the intern jinu yelled at, right?"

she froze. "he didn't yell at me."

abby raised an eyebrow. "he kinda did."

"no, he-" y/n stopped, realizing she was getting defensive way too fast.

romance exchanged a look with abby. "don't take it personally. he's like that with everyone."

baby flopped onto the couch beside her, legs swinging. "except usually he just ignores people. you're special."

"im not," she said, way too quickly.

"uh huh," abby said, totally unconvinced.

romance tapped his phone. "he's weird lately, though. you noticed?"

"not my business," y/n muttered.

"exactly," mystery murmured from the corner, startling her. she hadn't realized he was listening.

She glanced toward him. "what do you mean?"

he didn't answer.

abby did. "he's not like us."

y/n frowned. "you're all in the same group."

romance laughed. "yeah, but we're not talking about group chemistry."

there was a strange silence that followed. heavy, like something unsaid had slipped into the room and no one wanted to be the one to name it.

then abby added, more gently, "he doesn't let people in. he used to, a little. now? not even us."

"something changed," baby said quietly.

romance shrugged like it wasn't his problem, but y/n could see the way he kept glancing toward the door. like he expected jinu to walk through it at any moment.

later that night, cold light bled from the banks of monitors lining the walls. security footage, energy readouts, facial recognition sweeps. most of it looping on silent. some glitching faintly, distorting faces that shouldn't have been distorted. faces that weren't human anymore.

three figures stood in front of the main screen, backs straight, expressions grim.

mira didn't take her eyes off the data scrolling down the left panel.

"the honmoon seal's destabilizing," she said. no emotion in her voice. just fact. "faster than before. gwi ma's getting impatient."

rumi tapped the side of one monitor, pulling up a different feed. "and another missing girl. university student. top ten commenter on the saja boys' fan board."

mira's jaw tensed. "third one in the past day."

the screen shifted again, footage from outside the saja entertainment building. paused, frame frozen mid movement: jinu, standing with y/n. his eyes on her, expression unreadable. careful. too careful.

rumi watched the screen with her arms folded. "he's getting sloppy."

zoey tilted her head. "no. he's getting soft."

"same thing," mira said.

zoey's eyes narrowed slightly. "he's not supposed to care."

"he's not supposed to feel," mira echoed, turning to look at the footage again. "but he does."

a beat passed.

then rumí said quietly, "he remembers."

zoey glanced at her. "you think so?"

rumi didn't answer right away. her voice was calm, but her expression was sharp, like she was already ten steps ahead. "he hesitates. he looks back. that means there's still something human in him."

mira didn't flinch. "and that's our in."

zoey frowned. "we're really gambling the seal on his guilt?"

"we're not gambling," mira replied. "we're calculating. he's the oldest. the strongest. the one who held out the longest before pledging to gwi ma. and the only one who still flinches when he looks in a mirror."

she turned toward the screen again. y/n was still in the frame, face half shadowed. oblivious.

zoey crossed her arms. "what about her?"

rumi's voice was quiet. "we use her."

"and if she gets hurt?"

mira didn't blink. "then she's collateral."

zoey looked away, her jaw tightening. just for a second. not long enough to argue. but long enough for rumí to notice.

their silence stretched.

down here, everything was waiting.

and the crack in the seal was already growing.

back in the city, y/n found herself standing in the stairwell of the studio building after lunch, holding a cup of vending machine coffee and wondering what the hell she was doing.

it wasn't about the bet anymore. that much she knew. it wasn't about curiosity, either. or clout. or proving something. it was about him. and the way she couldn't stop thinking about how he looked when no one was watching. not the smirking idol version. the other one, the one who looked like he was fighting something invisible.

y/n sat down on the steps. she didn't hear the door open above her. but she felt it when someone sat beside her. she turned, and there he was.

jinu didn't say anything at first. neither did she. they just sat. quiet.

then he asked, "why do you keep showing up?"

"i don't know," she answered honestly.

he nodded like that was the only answer that made sense.

and then she noticed something under the cuff of his jacket, a dark, strange curve of ink. the same she saw around his neck the other day.

y/n tilted her head. "is that...?"

jinu tensed and pulled his cuff down.

she pulled back, hands raised. "sorry. i didn't mean to pry it's just i saw it the other day on your neck and-"

"it's not a tattoo," he said quietly.

"you said that. birthmark, then?"

"no."

he didn't explain. she didn't push anymore. but the air shifted. and whatever silence had settled between them before felt different now, less like a wall, more like a thread pulled tight.

y/n looked at him, really looked. and something inside her whispered: he's not what he seems. she just didn't know yet what that meant.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

that night, seoul felt quieter than usual.

not in a peaceful way, more like the city was holding its breath. the streets looked the same, neon and noise and motion, but something about the air felt... heavier. like something was about to give.

jinu stood at the edge of the rooftop, his breath fogging faintly in the chill night air. the wind tugged at the edges of his jacket, sharp and restless, like it wanted something from him. below, seoul sprawled out in neon and static, a city that never really slept, always watching, always hungry.

his hands gripped the railing so tightly his knuckles had gone bone white. he could feel the metal biting into his skin. good. the pressure helped him focus. helped him stay present. because if he let go, even for a second, he wasn't sure what would surface.

her voice still echoed in his head from today and the other day.

"is that a tattoo?"

the way she asked...

she wasn't suspicious. she wasn't even nervous. just... curious. soft. like it mattered to her in a way that wasn't about him being an idol. and the worst part, the thing that had lodged itself somewhere behind his ribs and refused to leave, was that for a split second, he wanted to answer. not lie or deflect. just... tell her.

tell her it wasn't ink. it wasn't a birthmark.

it was a brand. the first one. the one gwi ma burned into his skin the night jinu traded everything, his music, his future, his family, his soul, for power. for a second chance. he couldn't even remember, now, which one had mattered more at the time.

all he knew was that the mark still pulsed with heat whenever he disobeyed. whenever he hesitated. whenever he felt something he wasn't supposed to feel. especially around her.

the door behind him creaked open. hinges groaning like something old and rotted beneath the metal. he didn't turn. he didn't need to.

"you've been off lately," mystery said, voice light and familiar. too light. too familiar. "like, 'maybe jinu finally snapped and we should all start running' off."

jinu didn't answer.

just clenched his jaw and stared harder at the skyline.

mystery strolled closer, hands buried in the pockets of his hoodie, steps deliberately casual. but jinu could feel the way he watched him. always watching. always calculating. mystery was never as lazy as he looked.

"not gonna lie," he added, stopping a few feet away, "it's starting to freak the others out."

"go back downstairs," jinu muttered.

"already tried. got bored. figured i'd come check on our fearless leader before he jumps."

jinu didn't move. didn't speak. the wind caught his hair, blew it across his forehead. his skin felt too tight. like something inside him was pressing too hard against the surface.

mystery shifted his weight. "you're not hiding it well anymore."

"hiding what?" jinu snapped.

mystery gave a soft, amused snort. "you know."

he let the silence hang for a beat, then added, more pointedly, "she's just a girl."

jinu's grip on the railing flexed, not enough to bend it, but close.

mystery studied him. "you're acting like she's the last good thing in the world and if you blink she'll disappear."

"she shouldn't be near us," jinu said, low and sharp.

"yeah, well," mystery said, "she already is."

jinu turned then, slowly, his expression shadowed. just for a second, his eyes caught the light, not human. not entirely. something flickered behind them, deep and wrong and burning.

"she doesn't know anything," he said. "don't drag her into this."

mystery raised his hands in mock surrender. "hey. i'm not dragging anyone. you're the one who keeps looking."

jinu went still.

"abby saw it," mystery added, more quietly. "at rehearsal. your mark flared."

jinu didn't respond. didn't need to. the silence was answer enough.

mystery's voice lowered. "you can't afford to break now. not when the honmoon's already this close to breaking."

jinu's gaze dropped. his throat felt tight. too full of things he couldn't say, wouldn't say. not to him.

"i know," he muttered.

but mystery didn't back off. "do you?"

he took a step back, the wind tugging at his hoodie.

"because from here," he said, "it kinda looks like you've already picked your side."

then he turned and left, the door swinging shut behind him with a metallic thud.

and jinu was alone again, standing on the edge of a rooftop, staring out at a city that didn't know it was a battlefield, with something cold and furious coiled in his chest.

he didn't know if he was angry at mystery. at himself. or at her. because it shouldn't have mattered. and somehow, it did.

y/n couldn't sleep.

she kept tossing and turning, eyes fixed on the ceiling, replaying every second of the day. the studio. the saja boys. the stairwell. that look in jinu's eyes when she asked about the mark, like he'd frozen from the inside out.

she sat up around 2 a.m. and grabbed her phone. the screen glowed in the dark. she opened a search engine and typed in:

"jinu saja boys tattoo arm?"

nothing.

she narrowed it:

"jinu mark left wrist"

still nothing. not even rumors.

then she tried:

"saja boys real names?"

the screen loaded. empty again. everything she clicked led back to the same recycled bios, stage names, debut dates, carefully crafted trivia. but no real history. no pre debut footage. no hometowns. no family mentions. not even blood types. that was weird.

even the most private idols had something online, school records, audition videos, background articles. but the saja boys it looked like they appeared out of thin air a month ago and never existed before that.

she clicked on a forum thread titled "the saja boys: manufactured or magical?" expecting fluff.

but the comments chilled her:

user347: has anyone else noticed how there's ZERO info on them before debut?
fanblush32: it's weird but maybe the label's just insanely strict
kpopeyes: or they're not real lol. government clones
yongzenx: funny until you realize one of my classmates went to a fan event last week and hasn't been home since.

y/n's heart dropped.

she clicked into the reply thread, a flurry of "what the hell," "is this a joke," and "do you have proof?"

the original poster never responded. she sat frozen for a minute, then locked her phone and stared out her window. her room felt too small all of a sudden.

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

in a huntr/x van parked a few blocks from the saja dorm, they all stared at a monitor.

the screen showed y/n's public posts. an algorithm picked up key phrases, "mark," "real names," "debut history."

"she's getting curious," zoey said, leaning over her shoulder.

"she's moving faster than we predicted," mira agreed.

rumi stood behind them, arms crossed. "how long until he breaks?"

they didn't answer. just let the screen glow cold and blue. necause they all knew the truth. jinu was already cracking. and when he shattered, the only question left would be:

who would get pulled down with him?

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

the fan event was supposed to be harmless.

a little pop up street set for die hard fans who'd earned enough points through merch sales and streaming. a marketing stunt, really. flashy backdrops, glossy photo cards, the promise of fifteen seconds up close with one of the saja boys.

y/n hadn't planned on going. she wasn't eligible, not enough points, not enough time to camp out for it.

but when soojin texted her that morning with a ticket, a last minute drop gifted through a friend of a friend, she said yes before she could talk herself out of it.

she told herself it wasn't about seeing him. it wasn't. she just wanted to see what it was like. up close.

the venue was tucked between two trendy cafes in itaewon, nestled like a secret between warm lighting and curated windows. outside, the sidewalk pulsed with fans, glittered cheeks, homemade banners, and camera phones held tight in trembling hands. some laughed. some cried. all of them buzzed with the electricity that only came from being this close to the untouchable.

inside, the air was warmer. thick with perfume, sweat, and the faint static charge of overworked lighting. music played low from hidden speakers, a saja boys track slowed and reverb heavy, almost unrecognizable. the velvet draped corners made it feel more like a showroom than a fan event.

and then she saw them.

lined up like paper cutouts behind a pristine white table, all five saja boys smiled at the crowd, or rather, they performed the idea of smiling. it was practiced, clinical, almost impressive in how well they pulled it off. not a flicker out of place. like a perfectly looped gif.

romance wore a sherbet orange bucket hat and a cardigan too big for his frame. he leaned across the table like a boy in love, pouting dramatically when a fan passed. “you’re my favorite, okay? don’t tell the others.” the girl shrieked, and romance winked like he meant it.

abby had tiny iridescent hearts on both cheeks. he flexed dramatically every time someone got within five feet, mouthing “you’re welcome” before they could even react. his grin was razor bright.

baby was adorable. sweet on purpose. cheeks puffed out like he’d been mid snack. he held hands too long, tilted his head at just the right angle. one fan burst into tears when he called her “noona,” and he patted her hair like he’d won a game no one else knew they were playing.

mystery didn’t bother. he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed, bored. the way his eyes scanned the crowd felt clinical, not a look, but a measurement. like he was sorting people into categories. his fingers tapped out a rhythm on the table, but not to the music, something off beat and internal.

and then there was jinu.

all black sleek jacket, gloves. he sat straight, composed, his expression carved into polite serenity. the kind of idol face that said just enough. soft, aloof, unreachable. his eyes flicked up every so often, just long enough to lock in a fan’s gaze before flicking away again like a match striking cold air. he smiled when he needed to. bowed when prompted. murmured compliments like a spell. but none of it was real.

and when y/n caught sight of him, her stomach did a slow, unwelcome flip.

she hadn’t asked for jinu. had literally said “please not jinu” when the staff started handing out name cards. a joke, kind of, but not really. and yet, here she was. jinu. in glittery lettering. her name printed below his. the card trembled slightly between her fingers.

ten people ahead. then seven. five. four. she could feel her pulse in her ears.

two.

and then, she stepped forward. he was still turned toward the girl before her, saying something quiet enough to draw her in. his smile was faint, too faint, but the girl giggled and clutched her signed photo like it meant something.

then he looked up. and the smile slipped, almost imperceptibly. no gasp. no sharp inhale. just the briefest pause, like a skipped beat in a song. his eyes didn’t widen, didn’t darken, but they changed. like something in them folded away.

y/n tried to smile. “uh. hi.”

the persona came back instantly, like a mask settling over a crack. jinu’s lips curved, not too much, just enough to pass. “hi there,” he said smoothly, voice a notch warmer than usual. “thanks for coming.”

but his hand hovered above the signed card longer than it should have.he picked up the pen. his eyes flicked to her name on the card, and then, briefly, up to her face again.

“y/n,” he said. light. almost teasing. “that suits you.”

her breath caught. it wasn’t what he said, it was how. because the words were perfect, but the tone was too gentle. too quiet. not loud enough for show.

her throat felt dry. she played along. “thanks. uh, you’re- really good live. the street performance in myeongdong? that was insane.”

he smiled again, more deliberate this time. “you saw that?”

she nodded. “yeah. kind of hard to miss. everyone was freaking out.”

his eyes drifted slightly past her shoulder. “people tend to do that.”

the words were easy and polished. but his fingers had tightened slightly on the pen.

and then, just low enough that the handler next to him wouldn’t catch it:

“you shouldn’t be here.”

her heart stopped. “what?”

he didn’t look up again. he signed the photo like nothing was wrong. like he hadn’t just said something terrifying in the softest tone imaginable.

“around us,” he clarified quietly, barely mouthing it. “you don’t belong in this.”

the handler beside him clapped once. “alright, moving along please!”

y/n stumbled forward, barely registering her photo being handed back. the glittery signature gleamed under the overhead lights, but she didn’t look at it.

her heart was racing. on the surface, everything had gone fine. and yet, she felt like she’d just brushed against a wire she wasn’t supposed to touch. and it was still humming under her skin. 

the chaos started fifteen minutes later. it wasn't dramatic at first.

just a weird flicker in the lights, the overhead bulbs dimming for half a second too long. then one of the backup dancers stumbled, like something knocked into her. she went pale and backed offstage.

a fan in line fainted. security stepped in. someone shouted. and then, just like that, the saja boys were gone, swept backstage in a blink. the event was called off. no explanation. y/n stood near the exit, surrounded by confused fans and frantic staff. the energy had changed. the air felt heavier, charged with something she couldn't name. she turned to go, and nearly ran into someone.

"whoa, sorry-" she started.

but stopped. because it was baby. not baby the idol. not the giggling maknae from the signing table. no cute hair clips. no sparkly eyeshadow. he wore a dark hoodie pulled low, a baseball cap shadowing most of his face.

he didn't smile.

"you okay?" he asked, voice quiet.

y/n hesitated. "yeah, i- were you- what happened in there?"

he looked at her a moment too long.

then said, softly, "just a glitch in the system."

his smile was faint. almost kind. almost. then he leaned in.

"you really shouldn't keep showing up like this," he said. his voice was light, but something in it scratched beneath her skin.

"what do you mean?"

his eyes glinted, not sweet, not innocent.

"i mean," he whispered, "not everything is as pretty as it looks from the outside."

and then he was gone. vanished into the crowd like he'd never been there at all. but the chill in her spine stayed long after.