Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A large boom and crash was what woke up NicoB from his sound slumber in bed. He awoke with a jolt in his body, eyes shot open.

“W-WHAT THE FREAKING DING-DONG DOODLE!?”

He then thought to himself, {Wait, didn’t what I just say sound familiar…?} He shook his head, waking himself up more, and looked out his window to find a meteorite in the ground right outside his door!

“Damn, wish it would’ve hit that pig kid’s house….” said Nico, muttering that to himself as he decided to dress himself up, despite it being 3 in the morning. Not that his fans wouldn’t be up around this time, waiting for his videos while eating krabby patties. He then walked up outside, and up to the meteorite in the streets, only to realize that his surroundings were not of those that he remembered! In fact, having a “pig kid” for a neighbour wasn’t something he remembered either. That’s when he realized something in his head. {Hold on, a meteorite falling from the sky, an obnoxious brat for a neighbour…}

“I’m in Onett!” Nico gasped. “This is….this is just like last year when I ended up in Shibuya…” Nico couldn’t believe he was inside one of his games again……but then he also realized:

“Wait, that means I can meet everyone in person again!” Nico grew a big smile on his face as he decides to race off to find a place like last year where everyone was gathered!

“Hold it!” shouted a voice. {Wait, was that Phoenix who said that…? But it didn’t sound like him…} Nico stopped dead in his tracks. As soon as he did, a pillar of light shined brightly out of the meteorite (hilariously unexplained and unacknowledged choir included), and a small buzzing noise could be heard. Could it be…? Yes, it was. From the pillar of light, as it faded away, a small insect was seen as well, now flying around Nico’s head.

“Buzz Buzz!” Nico exclaimed happily. “You’re alive!” Nico could hardly contain his joy at this wondrous occasion!

“How is it that you know of my name?” questioned Buzz Buzz. Nico then gave him a quick backstory about himself about how he oversaw the adventures that took place during Buzz Buzz’s absence.

“I just can’t believe it, Buzz Buzz! You’re still alive! How!?"

“I possess various powers of the aliens,” explained Buzz Buzz. “Don’t you think I would’ve had a backup plan in case I would meet an untimely death? Though, I’ll be honest, I didn’t expect my PSI technique to have taken this long to resurrect me.”

{His PSI technique?} “If you don’t mind me asking, what ability did you use to resurrect yourself?” questioned Nico.

“Before I came out of the meteorite the first time,” said Buzz Buzz, “I left a part of my spirit behind in it so that if I die, the rest of my spirit that would be released from my vanquished body would be drawn to the piece of my spirit still in this rock. It was a technique I had newly developed myself shortly before, and even though I've used it before, I was still unsure at the time if it would have worked or not. But if you had truly protected Ness and the others, it seems I didn’t have anything to worry about! Thank you, Nico!” Nico felt proud of being praised, and sheepishly rubs the back of his head like Phoenix would.

“Aw, it’s nothing!” Nico smiled in pride. “That ability you came up with though, that might come in handy for me later! Think you could teach me?”

“Well, usually it can only be learned if you can harness the ability to wield PSI. However, I believe it CAN be wielded by regular humans as well, should they be able to prove themselves.”

“This ability……” prolonged Buzz Buzz, keeping Nico on edge, “….I named it ‘PSI Bulls#!t.’”

………{You’ve gotta be kidding me.}

“Do you believe you can prove yourself to wielding this power?” Buzz Buzz flew in closer to Nico’s face, slightly intimidating him as the insect flew as still as it could be.

"W-Well…..I got the Sword of Kings…”

“How many encounters with a Starman Super?”

“A-About two or three.”

“WH-WHAT!?” Buzz Buzz flew back in surprise. “H-How!? How is it you didn’t even get up to five attempts!?”

“Y-Yeah, about that….” Nico felt really embarrassed. “I wasn’t even trying to get it in the first place, due to how low the odds of it showing up were….”

“I……I don’t believe it…..” Buzz Buzz was so much in shock. “Nico, you truly are the Ultimate Bulls#!t.”

“HEY!” A nasally-sounding voice came out of nowhere. One that Nico knew all too well. {Ah boy, it’s him, isn’t it?} And out of nowhere sprung forth Nagito Komaeda, wearing his green Horny Rangers suit. “How dare you say that, Nico!? And yet, I’m so proud that you’ve become so well-versed in the ways of the bulls#!t now!”

“Komaeda, what are you even doing here?

Nagito then pulled out a small item and held it out for both Nico and Buzz Buzz to see. It was a small handgun, a revolver, which had six bullet slots in its chamber shown as he pulled it out, revealing five bullets in said barrel.

“The others made a bet with me to go out far away from them and see if I could win a game of Russian Roulette,” Nagito said with a disturbed, yet at the same time, naïve smile on his face. “I pulled the trigger and lived so it looks like I’m the winner! Strangely enough though, after I won, it went off on its own! I guess it must’ve been on a delay or something, hahah!” Nico sighed as he would expect Nagito to have survived such a ridiculous circumstance. {Guess that explains the loud noise that woke me up.} Nico turns around and looks and his house/apartment room ((I don’t really know, to be honest. ^^;)), which he just now noticed has been teleported to the perch of this hill where the meteorite is.

“Actually,” Nico pointed out, “if you really did shoot a gun, you’d think the town near us would’ve heard it and have the police check this area….”

“Well,” explained Nagito, “I’ll be honest about the police here. They suck waffles.”

“…What?” Nico was caught off guard by Nagito’s choice of words.

“They see a brightly-colored man in the middle of the night acting almost suspicious, and they don’t even lift a finger. I doubt they even noticed the gun I had.” Nico had to agree with him, for once. All they were good for are roadblocks like they said, and even *that* seems to be debatable since they didn't block him off.

“You……” Buzz Buzz spoke up, “what is your name?”

“Ah, right! Didn’t introduce myself to you, did I?” Nagito said, almost embarrassed. “I’m Nagito Koh-mi-aid-ah, but Nico and his fans usually call me ‘Kah-may-dah’, instead of by my first name for some reason.” Nagito had a clueless smile on his face as he spoke, unaware of Buzz Buzz’s tone of voice.

“‘Kah-may-dah’, I must say, it is amazing what you have accomplished in just a few minutes! I wonder, are you even more worthy of my PSI Bulls#!t technique?”

“Eh, sure, why not?” answered Nagito. Nico looked back to his house, then remembered that he decided that if he was in a video game again like he was a year ago, he could meet his favorite (and not-so favorite) characters again!

“Well, guess I may as well look around. See you guys later!” Nico then began walking down the hill, as Buzz Buzz waved him off with Nagito before starting Nagito’s training.

NicoB couldn't wait for the new adventure in store for him, if only the author wasn't lazy enough, then he could actually go through with meeting everyone without having to wait for another chapter.

To be continued.

Chapter Text

“Jeez, it feels like I’ve been walking around this place for over three and a half months!” Nico’s feet ached like crazy as he kept walking through the town of Onett. During that time, he started having visions, which included a lawyer not unlike Phoenix Wright shooting out lasers not unlike Godot, some guy nicknamed “Mansex”, sea salt ice cream and tears of heartbreak, a plague doctor holding nine people hostage in a Saw-like death game, the Future Foundation and Hope’s Peak Academy, and Persona’s relative to the Shin Megami Tensei games. The fact that it was night time and he was therefore in more danger of being distracted by said visions and getting hit by a car certainly didn’t help matters.

Suddenly, it started raining, and Nico had to duck under the edge of the nearest building’s roof for cover. “Man…”, said Nico. “At this rate, I won’t be able to find it. In hindsight, I probably should’ve asked Komaeda for directions.”

“Need help?”, said a gruff voice. Nico looked to his right to find a man in a trench coat, shirt, and tie. His five o’clock shadow highlighted the stern look he had in his eyes as he looked at Nico. “Ah, hold up,” he continued, “…so you actually came here after all.” Nico was confused by what the man was saying.

“Who’re you?” asked Nico. Looking closer at the man, however, Nico actually began to recognize him.

“Name’s Azriel. Remember me?” said the man. {Oh! It IS him!} Nico definitely remembered him now. It was Azriel from Gemini Rue who was talking to him.

“I actually do remember, yeah!” confirmed Nico. Azriel showed the faintest a smile could be.

“You finally showed up,” he said, “the others were starting to think you weren’t going to make it.” Azriel gestured to behind Nico, who followed the gesture by turning to his left to see a banner over the shop’s entrance reading: ‘2nd Voices of NicoB Gathering’. He’s found it!

“Aw, awesome!” Nico had a bright smile on his face to contrast the current weather.

“Volunteered to stay out here to look for you, and sort of act as a security guard,” explained Azriel. {Funny, the start of Gemini Rue had him out in the rain waiting for someone.} “Wanna head in?”

“Of course!” said Nico. He walked up to the shop’s door and pulled on the handle, only to find it won’t open. “H-Huh? What the hell?!” He kept pulling on the handle, but the door wouldn’t budge. “It needs a key.” {Wait, why did I say it like that? And why does that phrase sound familiar?}

“Er…” Azriel tried to speak up, but Nico was too distracted. For some reason, he tried bringing his mouth to the lock. “Hey! You can’t use your mouth with that!” Nico was taken aback by what Azriel just said. {Okay, as funny as how he said that, that DEFINETELY sounded familiar.} Nico then starting thinking about picking the lock, but then he realized he didn’t have the tools for that.

“I can’t pick the DOOR.” {….Okay, now why did I say it like that?} Then Nico had realized that he and Azriel were more or less recreating the gate scene at the beginning of Gemini Rue. He burst out in laughter when he realized that, especially since it already felt like the start of that game. Azriel just stood confused.

“Guess they’re right. You DO know about our adventures. Also that you were pretty weird.” He walks past Nico and grabs the door handle, pushing on it instead of pulling as the door opens. Nico face-palmed himself for not realizing his mistake sooner, and follows Azriel inside. There, he saw all kinds of decorations of sorts, pictures and balloons and streamers and party hats and food all styled after money, coffee, yaoi, yuri, despair (Monokuma: Despair, despair, I call despair!), Samuel L. Jackson (Morishige: First AID!!), and bagels, as well as many characters from his games.

In one group, he sees Ace and Seven below a sign reading “Council of Voices Tryouts” and facing Nern, Kristoph Gavin, his brother Klavier, Apollo, Donald Duck, Agent Shi-Long Lang, Detective Tyrell Badd, and Kazuo Tengan.

Seven speaks up: “A’ight, mother*ckers. Time t’ show yer stuff! You trainees are gonna have to prove yourselves to be considered in being admitted to the council. This kinda stuff’ll require--” Kristoph rose his hand before Seven could finish, stopping him from talking and causing a disgruntled look to appear on his face.

“Yes?” inquired Ace. “What seems to be the problem?”

“Just a quick question,” said Kristoph, “what business does the old geezer have here?” He then gestured towards Tengan. The old man looked a little offended by Kristoph’s remark.

“What’s the matter,” spoke up Tengan, “afraid that I might use your body as a dartboard?” Tengan gave off an aura of confidence and a smile that challenged anyone in his sight.

“No, no, of course not,” rebutted Kristoph, as he adjusted his glasses to give off a condescending glare in the lenses. “Why would I be afraid of someone not even from a video game or visual novel?”

“Wow, racist…..much?” stepped in Badd. Kristoph turned his vision to the grisly-looking detective.

“Hmph. All I’m saying is that someone from an anime shouldn’t count to be admitted into the council. He wouldn’t even have any sprites for Nico to properly animate.”

“True,” said Badd, “however….from what I know…..there hasn’t really been someone….associated with Nico’s old man voice.” Badd then took out the sucker he had in his mouth to speak properly. “I personally don’t think too many of Nico’s fans would complain if it was called the ‘Tengan voice’.” Kristoph’s voice grew sterner.

“Perhaps so, but to make him a Council of Voices member? He could barely last in the previous group he was a part of, let alone ‘lead’ them like the chairman he’s supposed to be.” Tengan planted his feet in preparation of a fight.

“Such a naïve young man.” said Tengan. He aimed his wrist to a wall. “Maybe I should try and teach you not to cross someone with ‘old man powers’!” He shot a dart from his “chuusen” weapon and it hit a “Pin the tail of the donkey game” poster used by Auron, Cloud, and Sephiroth. The dart had hit the donkey square in the butt cheek, which had a picture of Pokey Minch as the head.

“Hmph!” scoffed Kristoph, unimpressed. “I shouldn’t have to deal with anymore of your malarkey. However…” He turned to his kid brother, adjusting his glasses as the glare in his lenses gave a look of menace. “What do you think, Klavier? Should I indulge in this old fool’s antics?”
Klavier was usually very level-headed and chill, practically any women in sight would probably orgasm at the sight of him. But right now, he felt so nervous with being addressed by his older brother, his body weighted down by the tension as everyone in the group looked at him for his answer. It was too much for him to handle and he….he….

“O-ONIICHAN~!!”

The entire group, nay, the entire room with the other characters, went completely silent. Almost everyone was looking at Klavier after that little outburst, the tension was about as thick as the wads of donations Nico has been getting lately.

“…..The f@#k?” quacked Donald. After a few seconds, everyone had gone back to their own stuff, while Klavier hung his head in embarrassment as Apollo comforted him (Maya: The yaoi!). Seven cleared his throat nervously and spoke up.

“Well then, uh….anythin’ else you guys wanna ask?” His attention turned to Badd, who had raised his hand. “Yeah?” said Seven. The detective then took out his hand mirror and looked in the reflection, the sucker was back in his mouth.

“For any…..Ace Attorney characters here….you’ve already got enough of those….in the Council.” He put away the mirror at looked forward at Ace and Seven. “I’m guessing….only one of us *at most*….will be considered.” Ace scoffed at Badd’s observation.

“Well, if you put it that way, looks like you’re right,” he confirmed. “We’ll probably only take one more Ace Attorney character.” Nico had to concur. It’d probably already be too much at this point.

“Well then,” said Agent Lang, “guess that spot’s gonna have to go to me, then.”

“I’m sorry,” exclaimed Kristoph, “but I believe I’ve already made clear that I was going to be admitted.” Lang stomped his foot hard in protest.

“When did you ever say that?” he yelled. “All I’ve heard is you b#&@hing about the old man!” Apollo stepped in between the two and spoke up.

“C-C’mon, guys. We don’t need to make such a big deal out of this.” Klavier joined him, his composure returning to him.

“Herr Forehead’s right. There’s no need to get into each other’s hair, ja?” The two of them kept trying to keep Lang and Kristoph from going at each other’s throats, who were still yelling at each other. On the sidelines, Seven and Ace were speaking to Nern.

“Don’t worry,” said Seven, “we’ll b’ keepin’ you in high consideration, since you’re pretty popular with th’ fans.”

“Yes!” said Nern, pumping his fists in the air. “Take that, Dale Spooner! Now then, if you’ll excuse me, I have a contest with that stupid guy, Edgeworth! If he thinks he can finger better than me, I’m gonna prove him wrong! I’ll finger him so hard!” Nern then took off to another side of the room, to where Edgeworth was standing and waiting for him.

Ace sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “So what should we do with the others?” He gestured over to Lang and Kristoph still arguing, and now Donald and Tengan are yelling at them as well. Apollo, Klavier and Badd stood together, away from the verbal chaos and watching it unfold.

Seven shrugged. “Man, I ain’t got time for this. Maybe we c’n get in th’ old man, though it may be pushin’ it if we add anothe’ Danganronpa or Ace Attorney guy.”

“Ah well,” Ace shrugged as well. “We’ll figure something out.” Nico decided to move on and check what else is happening in the room, after hearing over that whole exchange between everybody. He then caught eye on Eric from Zero Time Dilemma behind an ice cream parlour, having his collar grabbed by Axel from the other side of the counter.

“I-I keep telling you,” stammered Eric, “there’s no more sea salt ice cream!” The fiery-headed Nobody in a black coat didn’t listen to him.

“And *I* keep telling *you*, I WANT SEA SALT!” He shook Eric back and forth in anger.

Eric started to yell back. “Wh-What is your f&%cking problem!? Just pick a different flavor!”

“NO!” screamed Axel. “MUST! HAVE! SEA SALT! I NEED IT, NOW!” Eric’s neck was starting to get sore from his head being thrown all around from Axel continuously shaking him.

“What are you, an addict!?” said Eric.

“Maybe!” replied Axel. “But I won’t let my sweet little Roxas down! I will have that sea salt ice cream!”

“Hey, Axel?” A voice came from behind Axel. Both him and Eric looked towards where the voice came from and there stood Roxas, in his get-up from the Kingdom Hearts II prologue, holding bars of sea salt ice cream. “What’re you doing?”

“R-Roxas!” said Axel in surprise. He let go of Eric’s collar, freeing the man from further rage. “I-I didn’t know you had already…”

“It’s okay!” Roxas gave a big smile to him. “C’mon, the others are waiting.” Axel sheepishly looked away in embarrassment for a moment, before he followed his prized little Roxas. Eric got back up and muttered to himself.

“G-Geez, where did they even find these crazy sholes?” Eric cleaned himself up as Nico turned to where Axel and Roxas were walking. They headed for a table that had Sora, Xion, Maya Fey, and Flowey the Flower at it.

“So wait,” said Flowey to Sora. “The guy has action figures of you and that Roxas guy?”

“Yep.” Sora nodded his head.

“To be honest,” added in Xion, “I wouldn’t be surprised if he bought an Axel figure sooner or later.”

“Man,” said Flowey, who then gave one of his scary faces, the one with the white pupils and devil smile, “guy’s like a hopeless version of Dr. Alphys. What a smiley trash bag he is!”

“H-Huh?” Sora was confused, as was Nico, from Flowey's choice of words.

Flowey went back to his normal face and spoke. “Oh, sorry, that was something I said in a piece of secret dialogue about that Sans guy. Nico didn’t get to see it.”

“Oh, okay,” said Sora. “Shame he didn’t see it, though.”

“Yeah, well,” Flowey grin turned smug. “He would’ve had to fight that stupid king over and over again to get more dialogue out of me, and we ALL know how that happened for him in the game. Sucked at it pretty badly.” Nico felt a little mad, but it was true. Asgore had kicked his butt one too many times.

“The music kicked a**, though, and not just his,” said Xion. That, Nico could openly agree with.

Flowey spoke up again. “You know, could you remind me something? Why’d you guys bring me here?”

“Well,” answer Sora. “Frisk told us you could use some help remember how to feel emotions again. To remind you how great friendship and love are!”

Flowey sighed. “Of course the kid said that. Should’ve stayed in the Underground instead of coming here.” In the pot Flowey was placed in and on the table, in front of Maya, he turned around towards her. “So why’s *she* here? She’s not from Kingdom Hearts, either.” Maya looked at Flowey, then gestured to the opposite side of the furniture.

“THAT~” she said. She was pointing to Axel and Roxas, who had just sat down. Axel was between Xion and Roxas, and Roxas was right next to Sora. Axel, Roxas, Sora, Maya (and Flowey), and Xion, in clockwise order, were now all who are at the table. Maya continued, “These two are very, very ‘special’!” Maya had a very perverted and anticipated smile.

“H-Huh?” said Roxas embarrassingly.

“See!?” Maya looked very happy. “He just said what the red-haired guy said earlier! It’s a sign they’re in love~!”

Axel was shocked. “H-How did you even hear what I said from over he—”

“Oh, details!” Maya brushed off Axel’s question nonchalantly.

“N-Now, hold on!” Roxas was stammering. “W-We’re not….we don’t….” He could barely form any words.

“Bleh.” Flowey made a sound of disgust. “You two really *are* lovey-dovey aren’t ya?” Poor Roxas was practically digging a grave for himself.

“N-No, We’re not! We’re just friends! Right, Axel?” He turned to Axel, who had been keeping quiet for a little bit, blushing a little and looking away. “A-Axel?”

Axel took a deep breath and looked at him. “….W-Well, uh….I-I…” Roxas’ face got even more red than it was from Maya’s accusation.

“OH MY GOD~!” yelled Maya. “The yaoi is real! YES!!”

“Alright, alright!” said Flowey. “You didn’t have to yell that in my ear!”

Sora and Xion had sat there feeling awkward by this new development, while Maya kept cheering, Flowey was still annoyed, and Roxas and Axel were stammering and arguing at each other and blushing. Nico decided to move on. {*shudders* I can feel the Akuroku starting to pop back up into my mind….} He repressed those memories again before walking forward. He saw Seiko Shinohara hitting on Seiko Kimura and asking the Ultimate Pharmacist for “a** medicine” in a flirtatious way, making Kimura acting nervous and flustered.
He then saw Sans telling jokes, Kazuichi offering his “socket wrench”, Saix was giving out t-shirts, he saw Joe from the “Destroy the Porn” one-off eating P.F. Changs’ while Teo and Efi from LiEat were bickering with each other like a father and daughter, and all kinds of other goofy characters doing goofy stuff. Then Nico had reached another table, one where Azriel was waiting.

“Took ya long enough.” he said. Azriel then took a seat, and Nico sat down next to him in an empty chair. Also at the table were Makoto Naegi, Hajime Hinata, Aoi Asahina, Yu Narukami, Teddie, Sigma Klim, Carlos, Phoenix Wright, Godot, Joshua, and Miles Edgeworth, who had returned from his finger battle with Nern. He won.
However, one seat was still empty beside Nico. He was a bit puzzled about it until a waiter had pulled up beside him. His name tag was written as “Omeyrolx”.
“Hey!” Nico said in surprise. “It’s you, uh….O-Omayralkz? Omeyrol-lol-lol-lollll…. O-Omeyrocks? Um……”

*sighs* Just call me “Omey”.

“Wait,” said Nico. “how’d you do that?” He noticed that I had talked without quotation marks. “Wait, what?”

I’m the narrator. Of course I talk like this.

“Oh, okay,” said Nico. “That makes sense.” I then gave Nico a menu. But before Nico could pick up the menu, he spoke up. “Who’s supposed to sit here?” He pointed to the chair right beside him.

Well….

I gesture towards the entrance of the building, where Nico entered the building. It was still raining outside, but he could see the backside of someone’s head. A blue-haired girl’s.

“Wait a minute…” Nico got up out of his seat and walked up to the door, opening it and looking to his left. There was Ayumi Shinozaki, curled up in fetal position with a look of intense sadness on her. Nico sighed. {Thought it was her.} He stepped outside, the rain thankfully not raining down on the both of them due to the edge of the building’s roof acting as an umbrella. Nico sat down next to her. Ayumi had a look of surprise and was taken aback from the sudden company.

“….Hey.” said Nico.

“…H-Hey…” replied Ayumi. It felt very awkward for the both of them. Corpse Party, the first game, was a game that Nico had enjoyed and was one of his earliest LPs that a lot of peope liked. With Corpse Party: Blood Drive, however……………………………..

“…How come you’re not inside?” asked Nico.

Ayumi looked down at her feet. “….Isn’t it obvious?” Nico had a good idea about what she meant.

“Listen,” he said to her, “it’s okay, you know? Blood Drive was pretty bad, but, the first game was alright! You weren’t *as* bad or annoying in that game!” Ayumi looked a little better, but was still down.

“St-Still….I’m worried that everyone’s gonna treat me badly….and honestly…..I feel like I kinda deserve it….”

Nico rested his hand on Ayumi’s shoulder. “C’mon. At least try.” Ayumi sighed.

“….O-Okay….” Ayumi stood up, as did Nico. The two of them walked back inside, and they sat back at the table from before.

I see you got her in.

“Yeah,” Nico said. Ayumi was looking around in the room.

“D-Doesn’t look like anyone’s insulting me…”

“You see?” said Nico happily. “You didn’t have anything to worry about.” Ayumi breathed a sigh of relief.

Now then!

I then gesture to the menu I had placed in front of Nico.

“Oh, right!” Nico picked up the menu, and opened it up.

Well?

“…..” Nico had looked back up to me and showed the menu. All it read was “Please play Mother 3” again and again and again, mantra-style.

….What, too obvious?

“You think?” said Nico. Then for some reason, everyone at the table started laughing like it was the end of an old sitcom. The rest of the day, Nico was performing onstage, singing to Sean Kingston’s “Beautiful Girls”, with the same lyrics from the end of his Yanderella video.

♪You’re way too♪
♪Bat-shit crazy♪
♪That’s why it will never work♪
♪You’ll cut my♪
♪Freaking balls off♪
♪Freaking balls off♪
♪When I say it’s over♪
♪Damn, all these♪
♪Crazy ass girls♪
♪They only want to fuck you up♪
♪They’ll cut your♪
♪Freaking legs off♪
♪Freaking legs off♪
♪When you say it’s over♪

Naegi had sung alongside Nico, singing the lyrics as well, and the regular version of the song. As for Hajime, well, when he started singing the “♪Suicidal, suicidal♪” part, everyone actually started feeling suicidal from how badly he sang.

The End.