Archive of Our Own ^beta

in all her years of fighting gods and monsters alike, annabeth never imagined that her boyfriend’s bed would be the thing to make her heart race. sure, a titan war, a giant spider, tartarus? light work. but there was something about sitting on percy’s bed and pawing through his record collection as he watched her intently, lounging on his pillows, that had annabeth’s stomach clenching. who knew, right?

“the kinks,” annabeth muttered. “that’s a name.”

percy tilted his head, a faint smile on his lips. “yeah, i like them. i keep forgetting you didn’t have access to the internet for like, seven years. what did you guys even listen to?”

“the harpies,” annabeth deadpanned, which got a snicker out of percy. she couldn’t help smiling at the sound.

weekly dinners at the jackson-blofis household had become routine now that the two were more focused on saving their gpas than the world. annabeth had of course become accustomed to the apartment. hell, she’d practically lived in it with how often she took a cab to visit sally and paul while percy was missing. the three would have dinner sometimes. but being with percy here made the apartment feel so much lighter. she could make out details she swore weren’t there before: childhood pictures of toothless percy grinning on his skateboard with a helmet falling over his eyes, droplets of faded blue dye on the cabinets, posters of basketball players peeling up on the corners. the messy details made it feel more like home to annabeth.

annabeth’s gaze shifted from the record in her hand to settle on percy. at some point, she figured she’d stop drinking in his presence like air when she thought about those months without him for too long, but she definitely wasn’t there yet.

his playful expression softened, as if he could guess what she was thinking about. slowly, he pressed himself up off his pillows and reached out to run his hand down her arm, pausing to take her hand in his.

annabeth smiled gratefully. for his lack of common sense, he could be incredibly perceptive about emotions, which she always found impressive. it was a skill she definitely could feel her learning curve in.

the feeling of his breath hitting her nose made her look up and meet his gaze. sitting up had cleared the distance between them easily. she couldn’t help but studying the green flecks in his eyes, swirling together like the spectrum of colors as sunlight hits shallow ocean water.

and then his lips were on hers. for all her credit of being an overthinker, mind reeling a thousand miles a minute, everything fuzzed into gentle static at that. he was so warm and soft, something that was so foreign after all this time of separation and waking ancient titans and yet something she knew by heart.

annabeth supposed that even given memory loss, she wouldn’t forget him either when they’ve been so close like this.

one of her hands flew up to the back of his neck, urging him closer, and percy accepted the invitation hungrily. he surged forward and cupped the back of her neck, fingers sliding up to knot in her hair, and a stuttering breath passed between their mouths as annabeth ever so slightly tilted her head back in response. their touches were desperate but careful, relishing in the familiarity of pleasure that was so rare.

annabeth wasn’t exactly sure who had started it, but at some point her back had hit the mattress. percy’s kisses had dropped to her neck, one hand toying with the belt straps of her jeans. it was his ice-cold touch against her skin that felt like it was on fire that made her gasp sharply, hand dropping from his neck to fist the front of his shirt and head tilting up.

percy pulled back just enough for her to get a full look at his face. his eyes were half-lidded, and something flashed across his face that she’d never seen before. dark, but not a bad kind of dark like he was in trouble—almost heavy instead. his green eyes glittered with something she could only describe as hunger.

he was gorgeous like this—hair wild, long like she’d been trying to convince him to grow it out since they’d first gotten together. long enough to tug on, the thought popped into annabeth’s mind, and something below her stomach felt heavy like the glint in percy’s eyes.

he was slightly flushed on his ears and a little out of breath, lips parted just enough for his small puffs of air to remind them what they’d been doing just seconds ago.

it was at that eye contact that they became hyper aware of where they could take this. his touch suddenly was like fire against her skin: knees planted on both sides of her hips, one hand skittering from the hair at the nape of her neck to her collarbone. all the while, the other ceased its creeping on her hip just under the hem of her hoodie to lay splayed out across the bone. the newness of it all, her stomach exposed to both the air conditioning and the warm touch of percy’s hand, gave her goosebumps.

annabeth would be lying if she said she’d never thought about stuff like this before. she was only human, only a teenager at that. seventeen years young.

but between a certain unrequited crush starting at the age of twelve and his entanglement in a certain prophecy that foretold his impending death, then his survival after a titan war and subsequent kidnapping, a fall into tartarus, a second titan war… need annabeth go on? she kinda sorta hadn’t really explored this territory much.

before hera had taken percy, they’d been bound by camp rules and still getting used to the whole “we’re both alive, and not only alive but dating!” thing to give the gravity of physical intimacy much thought.

not like annabeth would have been ready, anyway, if she was being honest. everything was too raw. even now, looking up at percy like this, the one who had seen nearly everything else about her, made her feel exposed. like she had been caught by surprise in a battle she wasn’t expecting to fight.

“whoa,” percy murmured, chest slightly heaving. his lips were slightly shiny from the gloss annabeth had applied to her own earlier.

despite the fight churning under her skin, annabeth couldn’t help her small amount of relief that, if his raised eyebrows was any indication, he agreed that this had suddenly swerved into brand new territory.

“hey,” she exhaled shakily. she was breathing a little heavily herself, but that also probably had to do with the bundle of nerves she could feel herself starting to become.

“hey,” he repeated gently. his thumb moved in a single circle over her hip bone, a gesture that made her legs twitch on reflex. he stopped immediately. “sorry.”

“no, you’re…” she trailed off, her eyes catching on her fingers that were slightly quivering where she had been gripping his shirt. annabeth half scowled at her hands, feeling a little betrayed at her own obvious anxiety. was her face as red as it felt?

“annabeth,” his voice was so soft, which made it hard to look him in the face, so she opted to keep her gaze on her hands.

he continued, “where are you at?”

“can we—“ she sighed to stop her voice from pitching. “can we talk about this?”

“yes, of course.” percy nodded avidly, sitting back. it gave annabeth the room to sit up against his bed frame and pull her legs out from under him and wrap her arms around them. she tucked herself into a ball, chin resting on her knees.

she sighed again. her insides felt wound up as taut string, like one nudge would spin her down and out of control.

annabeth was used to being toyed with by a higher power—story of her life—so it was unsettling not knowing who or what in this moment was holding her so tight. herself, maybe?

as if he knew how fragile she felt, percy’s thumb brushed annabeth’s knuckles. on reflex, she flipped her hand over so his long fingers could lace with hers and squeeze. after a moment of steadying herself, she squeezed back.

“where are you at?” percy repeated.

annabeth finally looked at him, and his face was gentle and patient like she expected him to be, round green eyes welcoming her in.

he had always looked at her like this since they’d first started dating. hell, really since they’d met. that same crease between his eyebrows had worried for her in the darkness of the zoo traincar, when he’d been the first person in a long time she’d opened up to about her family. it had been the exact same atmosphere as now: percy, steady and judgeless, accepting her tangled parts and helping her sort them into sensible piles. piles she could do something about. even from the beginning, he’d always stretched her to overcome things she couldn’t name on her own.

he’d grown at least 5 inches taller since those early days, though.

the memory made her smile a little. percy smiled back playfully, and annabeth felt the familiar sensation of the butterflies in her stomach that she’d grown to adore.

she’d known this boy since she was 12, and he’d patiently loved her through so much since then. she could handle him at 17.

“this is your bed.” she said dumbly. he snickered, and the sound of it boosted her confidence just a bit.

“it is.” he said. “this is my apartment.”

“this is your apartment.”

he hummed in agreement.

annabeth felt her cheeks grow hot. usually she could piece her thoughts together better than this.

“hey,” percy soothed. he lifted their clasped hands to press a kiss to her knuckles. “take your time.” his patience made her heart swell, and it was the push annabeth needed.

“obviously i’m attracted to you. and if all that was any indication, you’re attracted to me, too.”

he scoffed, amused, but said nothing, and it made annabeth smile a little as she continued.

“and people who are attracted to each other do things with each other. like make out, which we’re pretty good at, i think, and other stuff. getting naked and whatever.”

“sexual intercourse.” the deep, almost coach hedge tone of percy’s voice was so ridiculous that annabeth couldn’t help but snort as she shoved his shoulder with their clasped hands.

“shut up!” she laughed. “whatever, okay! the aphrodite cabin gave me my sex talk when i was 10, and all of it seemed so irrelevant at the time! i don’t exactly know how to talk about this stuff.”

“i can’t imagine the horror of that.” percy faked a shiver as he shifted to lean against the bed frame beside her. she leaned against him, still wrapped in herself, and he draped his arm over her shoulder and started tracing small, soothing circles over her arm. the contact made the knot in her stomach unfurl just a little. he was always so patient with her roundabout way of communication, and she loved him so much for it.

annabeth’s eyebrows furrowed to mirror him, but she was smiling as she said, “silena always did a good job, but it was a nightmare doing it with clarisse and the stoll brothers.”

the sound of percy’s laughter made her smile wider. “oh my gods, i can’t imagine.”

“right?” annabeth grinned at the bedsheets. she was quiet for a moment, and the serious air from before fell between them again. her nervous energy bubbled under her skin, poised to run.

annabeth was a bolter, she had learned over the course of her life (and with some gentle prodding from percy). if there was anything that felt out of her control, she had a strong urge to put distance between herself and it so she could strategize. distancing herself from her stepmother because of her lack of love, running away from percy after kissing him on the top of a volcano… avoidance was natural for evidence.

loving percy taught her that standing her ground meant something outside the battlefield, too. he was her opposite in that way: charging headfirst (almost recklessly) into everything. the good, the bad, and the dangerous.

everything in her body resisted it. but she loved him, and everything about him was something worth fighting for. so she could do it for him.

“anyway,” she sighed, and with her voice growing froggy, she trudged forward. “i don’t know what i’m doing or how to talk about this stuff, which is scary for me, because i usually know how to talk about things with you. or how to start and figure out what’s wrong, at least. we’ve known each other forever. fought two wars. been to tartarus, for fuck’s sake.”

her eyes started to blur as her voice cracked: “but this feels scarier somehow. it’s stuff i can’t adapt—it’s my body. and i…”

“you…?” percy was so gentle it ached.

annabeth scrubbed at her eyes with the heel of her hand. “it’s scary to let you all the way in, i guess.”

the realization hung in the air like a bell chime resonates. even though she trusted percy with her life, part of her still braced for impact. a small voice, maybe a voice she’d never shake, would always ask her in moments like this: has he finally had enough?

but this was percy she was talking about. and nobody understood her more than him.

“oh, baby. thank you for telling me,” he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and annabeth relished in it. he only called her pet names in moments like these, and it always made her feel cared for.

“i get that.” he continued. “it does kinda feel different somehow.”

she dared a look up at him. percy was smiling softly at her, and annabeth deflated a little in a relief that caused her to sway towards him. her cheek pressed into his opposite arm, and he shifted until she was sitting in between his legs and he was wrapped fully around her, supporting them both against the bed frame.

percy’s chin dropped to her shoulder, and he spoke softly and close to her ear. “i mean, i’m new to all this too, so we’re in the same space with it. i know the obvious things about the parts and how they fit together—“

annabeth screws up her face in a laugh, and percy is grinning too.

“—thanks, mom and paul. but i think it’s, like, a cool side of our relationship. it’s kinda exciting, i think.”

“exciting?”

“well, yeah!” percy’s arms drop to her waist, and annabeth tucks her legs under her so he can wrap both arms around her and hug her from behind.

“it’s a new space for us, and i get to see all these new parts of you.” he pauses a moment, and his voice is noticeably quieter—but slightly shy, annabeth realizes with a grin—as percy continues. “but i can’t say i haven’t thought about them.”

annabeth’s face is hot again, but she’s smiling, too. “oh, yeah?”

“yeah.” percy tucks his nose against her neck. “you’re beautiful, annabeth. seeing you makes me happy.”

annabeth’s chest flutters. she wants to say something sweet back, but the noise sticks in her throat like honey, so she squeezes his arm instead.

percy seems to get it, because he presses a kiss behind her ear before he continues. “i wouldn’t want anything about you or your body to adapt. and having sex isn’t going to change my mind on that. if anything, i bet i’ll like you more.”

“i like seeing you too.” she presses her cheek against his bicep, toying with the next thought in her brain, before she blurts, “i just get scared that you’ll get to know all these parts of me.”

percy hugs her a little tighter. “i know you do. but i want you to feel like you can rely on me. i’m not getting away from you again. i promised, remember?”

“i do feel like i can rely on you.” even as she says it, guilt bubbles in her stomach. she can! she knows she can. at least, she thinks she does for the most part.

“i know,” he nods, and annabeth almost wishes he’d blame her, but she knows he never would. they’d been through too much together and understood too much of their pasts to ever do that. he just trusted that she’d get there in her own time.

“just promise me,” percy says, “promise we won’t ever do anything you’re not comfortable with. you’d tell me?”

“i promise.” annabeth turns just enough to press a kiss to his jaw. “and you promise that too? you know you can rely on me?”

he loosens his grip on her waist enough that she can turn fully around to look at him. his hands, calloused from years of questing, cup her cheeks, and he pulls her in for a kiss that leaves her grounded yet floating on air. annabeth didn’t think she’d ever get tired of kissing him.

when he pulled back, he rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “i promise.”

annabeth drank in his face. without any tension like this, he looked younger. almost like they were sixteen and back on that bench where they’d had their first kiss. his eyelashes were so long, annabeth was mesmerized by how perfectly they curled.

his eyes sprang open to meet hers, and the grin that split his face was like a kid at a candy store.

“i love you.” the words spilled out of annabeth’s mouth. even after saying it for two months, the words felt so powerful to her yet so simple. so much work had gone into their relationship getting to this point, but once you go through tartarus with someone, the sentiment never feels like enough. something in her felt like she’d spend the rest of her life with him puzzling out what could encapsulate everything.

right now, though, it was enough, and the words made him smile so much that the corners of his eyes crinkled, like his joy couldn’t fit his face.

“i love you.” he repeated. they sat there for a second, grinning, before the sounds of the front door opening caused them both to lean slightly away from each other on reflex.

“percy! annabeth!” the rustle of grocery bags in sally’s arms was almost louder than her voice. “could you guys help me with these? i wanted to make sure i had enough for dinner!”

“on our way, mom!” percy called, and he slid off the bed and spun to face annabeth. “well, how do i look? not just like i’ve been making out with my girlfriend?”

“hm, i’m not sure.” annabeth leaned across the bed and ruffled up his hair. “well, now you do look like it!”

percy grinned, and wrapped one arm around annabeth’s waist to pull her up against him. “well, this will have to be continued later, then.”

“don’t get your hopes up, seaweed brain.” annabeth rolled her eyes, but as she took his hand and allowed herself to be led out into the hallway to help with dinner, she felt a little giddy at the thought that it would be.